Reviews For Return to LA
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Reviewer: deva Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01/10/2006 - 12:37 am Title: Chapter 1

Oh, crap. Totally a no, no when posting stories. I think you're off to a good start. There's just something about your fics that get me completely right back to feeling like I'm watching the actual series. But never, never do what you did here. You have to consistent all the time and this is not consistency because you started off with this fic in narrative form then jumped to script-style. Either change it completely to script-style or use the narrative form like you did in the first part. Other than that, it's good.

Author's Response: Thanks for the advise. I went back and changed it so it's all in script form. thanks for the review.

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