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Reviewer: ScarlettDuck Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/22/2013 - 01:25 pm Title: Chapter 2

Story has potential but really needs a beta. Plot jumps around and there are a lot of mechanical writing errors. Also, the rating is wrong, this is really PG-13.

Reviewer: AJ Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 04/30/2007 - 05:39 am Title: Chapter 1

Your story is hard to follow. When you write dialogue you write another person's actions after one person's dialogue and it is confusing. A general rule of writing is if you have dialogue for a person, only that person's actions should follow in the same paragraph. Another person's actions should be in a brand new paragraph. Something to consider. You also use ; a lot. That punctuation is normally seen in essay style writing, not stories. If you feel the need to use it try a . or , instead and re-word if necessary.

Reviewer: SarahandJamesFanatic Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01/25/2006 - 06:12 am Title: Chapter 2

good story

Reviewer: Inara Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01/24/2006 - 04:03 pm Title: Chapter 2

What a cute story! I love that Buffy finally went after Spike. It's about time that she did something for the relationship!

Reviewer: daisy Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01/24/2006 - 07:59 am Title: Chapter 2

okay i'll be the first to review. i really like the story. i hope you take this well and not think i'm being mean but you could have spred this out more. some of the things you had were just thrown together and was confusing on how they got to where they were. but overall i think this was great. the rating might have been a little higher than needed also. hope you keep writting cause this is deffinatly a good story. keep it up.

Author's Response: Hi Daisy, I wrote this very early in the fic writing game. This was before i knew how to pace a story. But hopefully i'm getting it lol.

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