~*Your Presence Still Lingers Here*~

“Never stop Spike...never stop loving me...never stop...”

Spike awoke abruptly to the sound of her voice, the sound of Buffy’s voice. It was haunting him severely. He had been brought back human, five years ago by the coven in England. They had never told him why, but they did say that it was a very important reason that he would someday discover.

Now living in Yorkshire, England with his wife Bessie, Spike was slowly adjusting to his new life as a human, and pretty much his new life all together. His new life without Buffy Summers. He got up out of bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen where he got himself a cup of coffee and sat at the table.

Just recently he had been having the awakening dreams. Every night for the past two weeks he’d see her face for the last time, the time she confessed her love to him and he denied that she was telling the truth. Tonight was a little different though, when he saw her face she said something different. “Never stop Spike...never stop loving me...never stop...”

He hadn’t heard anything about her since that day, May 20th 2003, back in Sunnydale. The coven wouldn’t tell him anything about her, wouldn’t tell him if she’d made it out of the school in time or not. He tried contacting every one of the Scooby’s with not an ounce of luck. Eventually he stopped trying and figured he should at least try and move on with his life.

A few tears escaped his eyes as he sipped his coffee and sat in the moonlight shining through the window. He thought about what she’d be doing right now if she was in fact alive. It was 3AM there... in California there would be about an 8 hour difference, making it 11AM. He saw her in the kitchen, lively and awake, cooking breakfast for herself. Dawn would be attending college maybe, so Buffy was alone... or was she? Maybe she had met someone new also.

A twinge of pain struck his now beating heart. Wondering how he could have let things turn out like this. He missed Buffy so much. He was startled from his thoughts when his wife touched his shoulder. “Buffy?!” He jumped and whipped around. “Oh god, Bess, sorry Luv, I was just thinking about...”

“It’s all right, Will. Are you all right? I heard you get up, I was worried you were ill.” Bessie was a very understanding wife. Spike had told her all about Sunnydale, even the part how he had died there. She was an ex-coven member and she knew a lot about what happened before he had told her. She called him Will, too. No one else ever had. Made him feel more human.

He sighed and took another drink of his coffee. “I ‘spose so. Just couldn’t sleep is all. Go back to bed, Luv.” He hadn’t told her of the dreams he’d been having about Buffy. It was agreed upon that if he had problems such as dreams, he would see a therapist to help get the thoughts out of his mind. He didn’t want to see a therapist, not for a few dreams. Or were they just dreams?

“You sure you’re not ill?” She rubbed his shoulders lightly; Spike was thanking the lord she hadn’t seen the stream of tears on his cheeks that would have stirred up more questions.

“I’m fine. Now get back to bed; you’re up early tomorrow for that seminar remember?” Being honest with himself, at that moment he could care less about whether or not she got sleep, he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts and the moonlight.

----

8 AM rolled around very quickly; Spike had fallen asleep at the table. Only to be awaken by the rays of the sun in his eyes. “Bloody hell...” He murmured when he’d realized where he had woken up. Quickly he went upstairs and dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, hoping to look like he was half-awake. He shook Bessie’s shoulder. “Bess, Luv, you’ve gotta be up. Seminar starts in...” Spike glanced at the clock, which now read 8:46. Bessie’s seminar that was meant to be with the coven, would have ended in ten minutes. That was odd, she’d never been late for something that important to her.

“Hmm? Oh...” She yawned and slowly sat up. “What time is it?” She asked tiredly, looking at the clock. “Bloody hell it’s nearly 9! I’ve missed it!” She jumped up out of bed. Spike just mysteriously watching her. He could tell she was mad. She rarely used the phrase ‘Bloody hell’. “My alarm was set, why didn’t it go off?” She looked at Spike, dressed as if he’d been up a while. “You’ve been up for ages why didn’t you wake me sooner?!”

“Hey now.. calm down, Bess, I..” He attempted to sooth her anger, but apparently that wasn’t going to work very well.

“Calm down? Spike have you got any clue how important it was that I be at that meeting? It could have gotten to be back into the coven!” She was furious, she never called him Spike unless she was mad. Very mad. A year before Spike had been brought back; she was fired for a wrongfully accused theft of an important prophecy book. The case was just getting finished up and it was being decided today whether or not that she would be allowed to reenter the coven.

Spike stayed quiet after that. If only he’d stayed in his nightclothes she wouldn’t have accused him of not waking her earlier. He always got himself in some sort of a mess with her over something or other. He watched as she ran a brush through her stick-straight brown hair, swipe lip gloss over her lips and quickly throw on an outfit. Only to run downstairs and out the door without saying goodbye.

She was understanding, but he didn’t understand her sometimes that was for sure. But he loved her, and that was all that counted in his book. He sat on their bed and looked in the mirror across the room at his reflection, letting his mind wander off somewhere far away...

“I’ve missed you.” She said as she sat behind him on the bed, putting her arms around his waist and her head on his shoulder. She smelled of vanilla and honey, sweet as always. “You’ve been gone a while you know, I was worried.” She whispered into his ear.

“Missed you too, Kitten.” When he went to turn around in order to embrace her, she was gone no sooner than she had appeared. Spike stood up and rubbed his eyes. “Get a grip mate, you’re letting your imagination go a little off the hinges.”

----

The rest of the day he paced blankly around the house, unable to get Buffy off of his mind. Maybe he did need a shrink after all. Of course, he was too stubborn to admit that. Spotting Bessie’s laptop computer open on the dining room table, and sat in front of it and switched it on, determined to find something, anything, on the demise of Sunnydale.

He searched the web for what seemed like hours, only to find old school records of Buffy’s. He sighed and heard Bess come in, he quickly closed her laptop and got up to greet her. “Everything turn out all right?” He was curious why she was gone all bloody day.

“Of course not. I went for some shopping when I realized I’d never have a decent career again.” She smiled. “And I bought you something.” From a big brown bag she pulled out a brand new, floor-length, leather duster and handed it to him.

Spike grinned, it’d had been so long since he’d even seen a duster that remotely resembled his old one. This one...was almost exact. He took it from her hands and instantly a crashing wave of memories surged through his entire being. He had a terrified expression on his face as he saw flash before him every bad thing that had ever happened to him while wearing that duster... from snapping his first slayer’s neck, to turning to dust within the Hell Mouth of Sunnydale. After that, he went out cold.

Some time later, Spike opened his eyes; he felt a cool cloth on his forehead and could see Bess sitting beside him holding the cloth on his forehead as he lay on the couch. She was great like that. “You’ve been out for quite a bit, Will. Shame about the duster, it got a mighty big tear in it when you fell. I’m just glad you’re awake now thought, dear.”

Something about this life was suddenly not feeling right to Spike, not one bloody bit. He wasn’t meant to be with this woman, he wasn’t meant to live in England and he certainly was sure he shouldn’t be living in such a giant house. He’d envisioned an apartment once, decorated with leather sofas and hard wood floors, but never anything this...Victorian.

Next he began to question if he really loved Besselyn Roberts. Was he just using her as an alternative to the real love of his life? He hated himself for thinking that, but something told him that was the truth. He couldn’t live with any of these thoughts, never in a thousand years could he. Something had to be done, and he needed to know if Buffy was alive.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quietly, the next day, Spike took Bessie’s hand and prepared himself for the worst; he took her into the office room and stood looking at her for a moment, guilt already showing in his eyes. He closed the door behind them.

Less than an hour later, Bess opened the door and walked out silently, with streams of mute tears flowing slowly down her pale cheeks. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She thought they had such a good marriage. And it was, up until he started dreaming of Buffy. Being the “understanding” person she was though, she respected her husband’s feelings and wishes. If he loved Buffy then he should be with Buffy...if Buffy even still lived.

It didn’t take long for the process to be completed. Within the next three months, Bess had gotten a small flat on the outskirts of York, their divorce was complete, and Spike could begin the search for Buffy. He started with sneaking into the coven’s meeting place at night. He came out empty handed. He concluded that either all of their information was kept top-secret underground. Or it didn’t exist at all to begin with.

He refused to stop there though. If he wanted to find Buffy, he’d have to do it himself. He tried to contact the Watcher’s Council, only to learn that it no longer existed. Which really didn’t help with his search for Giles.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that something unexpected had happened. It was about 4 in the afternoon and Spike was continuing his search on the Internet, when the phone rang. “Ello?” He said, pressing the button for speakerphone.

“Uh... is this Spike?” Said a woman’s voice on the other end of the line. A familiar voice at that.

“Yeah, can I ask who’s speaking?” This voice was too familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint who it was.

“I don’t know if you’ll remember me, but it’s Vi. I was one of the potentials that were lucky to survive The Fight of The First.” She explained, she was nervous, hoping that this wasn’t just some prank. She’d found out about Spike being “alive-again” through some careful eavesdropping at Wolfram & Heart between a conversation between Angel and Wes.

“Course I remember you, red head, got all excited when you killed vampires. How could I forget the infamous Vi?” He was smiling, hoping to god she had some sort of lead he could work from. “To what do I owe this phone call?”

“Well, I heard you were alive again, so I called for two reasons.” She paused to collect her thoughts a moment, and take in a deep breath. “One, I wanted to know if it was true that you were living, turns out, hey, it is.” She lightly laughed at herself. “Two, I figured you’d be looking for Buffy. Is anyone there with you?”

That was all she had to say, she had his attention. “Not a soul. Just me in my lonely big house. Now what’s this about Buffy?” He picked up the phone receiver instead of listening through the speakerphone.

“Okay, well, she’s alive. I haven’t spoken to her in quite a while, but I know she’s alive. I have connections. Remember Principal Wood? Well, he now works at Wolfram & Heart. I speak to him every once and while, he gives me jobs to do, and sometimes gives me messages from Buffy. The latest news, you might not like too much.” She explained.

“Please do go on anyway, Luv.” He listened intently.

“First just know, she has absolutely no idea that you’ve been alive it’s only natural she’d try and move on with her life. Or retrogress if you will.” She took a deep breath...or it might have been a sigh, Spike couldn’t tell. “Spike, she’s recently gotten together with Angel.”

Spike fell completely quiet, enraged with anger, jealously, and complete rage. “You’ve got to be joking.” He didn’t want to believe this for the life of him. “She would never do that... she and Angel are the past...she can’t have a relationship with him... she wouldn’t...” It was taking a lot for Spike not to put his fist through the computer screen in front of him.

“I’m sorry Spike... though, I’m sure there is still a chance. You could come here and win her back, I mean, yeah she’s with Angel, but she’s been missing you... Wood said that he heard her once, standing in Angel’s office looking out the window, talking to herself. She said ‘Never stop Spike...never stop loving me...never stop...’ I don’t think she’s given up on you, Spike.” Vi tried her best to help Spike feel better.

That was what he heard in his dream a few months ago! It was only that one time he heard her say that, because she had actually said it! “Vi, I am going to do just that. Come there and get her back, I’m not letting that ponce steal her from me, no bloody way in hell.”

Vi smiled. “There’s only one thing, Spike. We never had this conversation. Got that?” It couldn’t be known to anyone that she was the one who told Spike of Buffy’s whereabouts. Or she’d be killed by a certain member of the coven. Besselyn Roberts.

It was originally Bessie’s goal to keep Spike from locating Buffy, to keep him from learning the covens secret and plan for Spike. When Bess learned Spike still loved Buffy, she was so disappointed in herself for not only failing to keep him from Buffy, but losing her husband, that she started to practice the dark arts under the influence of depression. Of course, that wasn’t all she had hidden up her sleeve, little did Spike know. The reason for keeping them apart was bigger than it seemed and she had failed to do so. Therefore she would prepare for her final and complete demise.

“Not a word of it will be shared.” They said their goodbyes and soon hung up. Spike wasted absolutely no time getting to the nearest airport to buy his ticket to California, which he was lucky enough to get the flight for Friday which was in 2 days. It was a coach seat that become available at the last minute. Spike had no complaints.

----

Friday morning, he boarded the plane at 3PM and he was scheduled to land in L.A. at about 11PM. He had never been on a plane before, the process overwhelmed him. Baggage check wasn’t so bad, but the whole idea of taking off his shoes, completely confused him to the maximum. But before he knew it he was on the plane, it was tight quarters, completely packed with people. Screaming babies and coughing elderly with emphysema were on the verge of driving Spike crazy, so he slipped on his headphones and closed his eyes for a nap.

Before he knew it however, he was being shaken awake by the man sitting next to him. “Sonny, planes landed, might wanna get yur’self up” He had an annoying raspy voice, part of the reason Spike put headphones on and fell asleep to the Sex Pistols. It amazed him that he slept for so long, what amazed him more so was the fact that he slept so long without a dream of Buffy. Or a dream about anything for that fact.

He hurriedly stood and grabbed his carry on from the overhead compartment and ended up being the last one off of the plane. He went out to baggage claim, picked up his bag and left the terminal to catch a taxicab to Wolfram & Heart. The driver of the cab was all but friendly. Taking the longest route, backtracking, going down One-Way streets the wrong way. Costing Spike about 85 dollars when he finally reached his destination.

In front of the building, there was a newspaper box; the newspaper inside had caught Spike’s attention. It read: “First Evil, has it returned? Or never left?” Now he was confused. Hadn’t they destroyed The First with Sunnydale? He decided he’d find out eventually considering the place he was about to walk into.

Inside the lobby of Wolfram & Heart, he spotted a sign on the wall by the elevator briefly describing what could be found on each floor. Floor six read: AI Law firm. He assumed that had to be where he needed to be. He pressed the up arrow and impatiently stood awaiting the elevator. The silver doors dinged open and several ugly demons stepped out and Spike stepped in.

As he waited for it to ascend to his desired floor, he tensed. He hadn’t even given any thought to how he would approach Buffy if he saw her. What he’d say to her... he’d just have to rely on his quick wit, only minus the actual wit part of it.

The doors behind him opened. Confusing him. Those double doors confused everyone who walked into that place; he hadn’t even remembered turning around in the elevator. He stepped out and looked around. “Oh you have got to bloody be kidding the hell out of me.” He said as he saw Harmony Kendall sitting at the front desk. “This’ll be just lovely.” He reluctantly walked over to her. “Harmony, do me a favor, don’t make my presence known to everyone.” He said, whilst putting his hand over her mouth to prevent the shriek he knew was coming. Harm nodded.

“What are you doing here?” She whispered. Shocked to see him. She knew about Spike being alive. Practically everyone knew aside from Buffy. It’s a wonder she hadn’t found out already, especially with Harmony in on the little secret.

“Came to see a certain slayer. She around?” He asked. Not wanting to reveal the whole story to the dippy blonde in front of him.

“She actually just went into Angel’s office. Angel isn’t here, so you can go in. I mean you could go if he was here, I know you would either way but...” She stopped babbling when she realized he was no longer standing in front of her, but walking towards the door marked ‘Angel’

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door slowly and quietly. He saw Buffy standing across the room. Her mind must have been elsewhere, for she hadn’t noticed him enter the room. She was looking out the window, speaking to the outside world, to...him. “Spike...why can’t you be here? I wish you were here...I’m not happy with Angel...I just... need you.” No one knew, but she did this everyday.

Without any hesitation, he was behind her, putting his arms around her waist and whispering in her ear. “I’m here, Kitten. I’m here.” Sweet. Of honey and vanilla.

Her eyes grew wide. Something told her he was alive, she somehow just knew. The dreams lately have just been too real. “Spike.” Her eyes were full with unshed tears as she turned around and kissed him with all the love she had kept locked up within her.

At that moment, when they kissed, all remnants of The First evil that was left over, disintegrated into dust, including Besselyn Roberts.

----

Back at the coven, the women gathered around a giant ball of crystal, watching the two of them. The all looked up and smiled at one another. The leader spoke. “His destiny has been finally and completely fulfilled, and he shall be rewarded with her love, eternally.”

~THE END~

(My title, was taken from song lyrics "My Immortal" by Evanescence)