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A/N This story was originally started by Darla called You’re My Temptation and adopted by me, starting after (her original version of) chapter three. I have rewritten the first part of it (that wasn’t mine) and even though this entire story was written by me, I did not come up with the idea and the first few chapters are just my interpretation- I merely elaborated on what was previously written and changed the storyline a little bit.

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Chapter 1 – Just Survive





Sitting in her class and listening to the teacher drone on about their reading assignment for the weekend, Buffy sat at her desk, mindlessly tapping a pencil against the flat surface and counting the seconds until the bell rang. Eager to get home and check on her sick mother, at only eleven years old, she already knew too much about the bad things that affected this world. Her father had left years ago, leaving Joyce Summers to take care of an eight-year-old little girl entirely on her own. That is, until the tables had turned and Buffy had spent the last few years looking after her mother while Joyce was subjected to numerous chemotherapy treatments.



When the bell finally rang, announcing the end of the school day, Buffy practically bolted out of her seat, wanting nothing more than to get away from this awful building for a weekend of freedom. Idly swinging her backpack and letting it gently hit her knees as she walked, without a care in the world. Waving to her friends, Buffy walked off the campus and headed toward her house.



* * * * *



Walking through her front door, Buffy felt as if everything fell away in the moment that she looked into her living room. Feeling her mouth go dry and her eyes water, she suddenly found it extremely hard to breathe as she looked into her mother’s lifeless eyes.



She looked so at peace.



Out of pain.



Gone.



She felt as if the little girl inside of her was dying as she crumpled to the ground, her hand gripping the door casing and her body frozen in shock as she looked at the scene before her. The tears in her eyes threatened to spill over, but she still couldn’t take her eyes away from the sight in front of her.



“Mommy?” she whispered, her voice laced with agony.



Silently trying to will her mother to move…to blink…to do anything, Buffy felt a solitary tear slip down her cheek as the final trace of hope seemed to slip away.



Not knowing what to do, Buffy pulled her knees up to her chest in a feeble effort to comfort herself.



“Mommy, wake up,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and wishing for everything to disappear when she reopened them. “Please, wake up…please…make it better…I don’t know what to do…”



She trailed off in an agonizing sob.



* * * * *



Hours later, when her eyes were puffy and her body was sore from staying in the same position, Buffy slowly managed to get to her feet. Stumbling around the darkening room, she tried not to let everything overwhelm her as she reached for the phone and slowly managed to dial 911. Her foggy brain automatically picked out the numbers as if it was a reflex before dimly hearing the operator picking up the extension. Numbly giving the woman the information she wanted, Buffy let the phone drop to the floor as she curled herself into a ball and waited for someone to come and make it better.



* * * * *



Never moving from her spot as the men carried her mother’s body out of the house, she felt as if she was outside of her body, watching everything take place but never actually experiencing it.



As she watched everyone moving around, she could feel a sense of dread surrounding her with each moment that passed. Vaguely realizing when a woman kneeled in front of her, Buffy forced herself to focus on her, trying to keep her mind occupied as the woman spoke.



“Hi,” she said in a gentle voice, tenderly brushing the blonde hair out of Buffy’s face and offering her a soft smile, doing what she could to comfort the distraught young woman. “I’m Fred. Would you like to come with me?”



Her chin trembled as she nodded. Sniffling to control the remaining tears, Buffy hastily wiped her eyes and her nose with the sleeve of her shirt before accepting the woman’s offered hand and getting to her feet.



Grateful for the support that was being offered to her as they walked out the door, Buffy clutched at the older woman as if she was a lifeline…which, to her eleven-year-old mind, she really was.



Leading her out of the house, Fred slowly led her to the porch swing, hoping the fresh air would do what it could to settle the distraught and heartbroken little girl.



“Where’s your father, honey?” she asked, never releasing her hold on Buffy’s hand. An act that surprisingly comforted the young blonde.



“I don’t know,” she whispered miserably.



“Is there anyone you could call?”



“No,” she sniffled, shaking her head. “Just mommy. She’s the only family I have…”



Trailing off with a choked sob, Buffy once again curled her legs against her chest as she cried.



“Okay,” Fred whispered, wrapping her arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “It’ll be okay. I need you to do something for me, alright?”



“Yeah,” she whispered with a nod.



“I’m going to take you somewhere that you can stay. I need you to go upstairs and pack some things to take with you.”



Buffy nodded her understanding and took a deep breath before climbing to her feet and walking back into her house.



* * * * *



With her small suitcase clutched on her lap, Buffy knew that she was literally holding her life in her hands. She had only grabbed the essentials, including the money she had saved that was safely tucked away in a hidden pocket of the suitcase.



Watching the neighborhood fly by, she swallowed when Fred pulled her car into the driveway of a quaint looking townhouse. Climbing out of the car, Buffy felt as if she was walking into a real estate catalogue as she looked at the perfect shrubbery and identical houses that ran along each side of the street.



Seeing the pretty woman walk out of the house, Buffy took a moment to assess the shampoo commercial hair and a smile that could have been advertised at a dentist’s office, and she decided that maybe things were looking up…just a little bit.



“Hi!” she said with a friendly smile as she walked out to meet them at the car.



Buffy could feel her stomach flip flop, suddenly nervous with the entire situation. She felt safe with Fred. She had only just met her, but she was just another thing that Buffy seemed to be losing.



“Buffy?” the woman asked, kneeling in front of the young girl.



“That’s me,” she murmured, clutching her suitcase even tighter in her white-knuckled hands.



“Would you like to come with me?” she asked, offering her hand to Buffy.



Hesitantly taking it, she allowed herself to be led toward the house, waving a goodbye to Fred and offering the older woman a watery smile when she climbed back into her car.



Walking into the house, Buffy looked around the huge living room, seeing the five other kids who were crowded around the TV, watching a cartoon. She finally allowed a small smile to play on her lips. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.



As the woman led her to her room, Buffy smiled as she looked at the white-washed twin beds with the fluffy pink comforters. She was told that she would be sharing it with one of the other girls, but Buffy found herself relieved at that thought. She didn’t think she could handle being alone right now.



* * * * *



Tossing and turning in her new bed, Buffy tried pulling the pillow over her face to block out the shouting match that was occurring between the two adults in the next room.



With a heavy sigh, Buffy rolled over, vaguely making out the girl in the bed next to hers.



“Better get used to it,” the little girl said softly. “They do this every night.”



“Every night?” Buffy repeated, unable to believe that the picture-perfect couple could live a double life at night, screaming words at each other that she had never even heard.



The other girl nodded, giving Buffy a sympathetic look. It was hard being the new kid. Especially because entering into foster care almost always meant something tragic had happened.



Hearing the door open, both turned toward the light that streamed into the room, seeing the three little boys, each fidgeting nervously as they looked down the hall at the source of the yelling.



“Come on,” the other girl said, sitting up in bed. Buffy watched as two ran over to the other bed, while the third climbed in with her, each seeking comfort as the sound of screams and crashing could be heard throughout the house.



* * * * *



Age 13 – Foster Home #2



Desperately trying to curl herself into a ball, Buffy bit her tongue, trying to keep her screams of pain to herself as the woman above her continued to strike her with the belt. Feeling a cry torn from her throat as the leather made contact with her neck, she finally let the tears fall.



It was a nightly occurrence. It didn’t matter what Buffy did- or more accurately, what she didn’t do- every night resulted in a new beating for some lack of a chore that she didn’t do properly.



Perfection was expected in this house.



Expected…but never achieved.



Feeling the blood trail along her body as the leather bit into her skin, she continuously tried to suppress the screams of agony. Screaming only made the beatings worse.



* * * * *



Age 14 – Foster Home #3



Lying in her bed, Buffy struggled to stay awake, not wanting to risk falling asleep with the ten other kids in the room. She tried her hardest not to fall asleep at night, only taking quick naps during the day whenever she could get a moment alone.



Feeling the bed shift as someone sat down next to her, Buffy immediately lashed out, knocking the older boy off the bed before he managed to make a grab for her. It was a nightly occurrence. If she could just last the night, she didn’t run the risk of being molested in her sleep.



‘You can get through this,’ she told herself. ‘You won’t be here much longer…you can get through this.’



* * * * *





Age 15 – Foster Home #4



“No!” Buffy screamed, trying to fight against the large man who easily pushed her down to the bed.



Frantically trying to get away, she managed to get to her feet but was easily restrained and thrown back onto the filthy mattress as he pulled off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans.



“Please, no,” she cried, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Not again. Stop!”



Trying to calm her tears and completely zone out of the situation, Buffy wished that once, just once, someone would do something to intervene.



Feeling the man’s crushing weight on top of her, she made another feeble effort to get away but was met with a sharp slap in the face, stunning her into submission as he continued to abuse her body, tearing away another shred of innocence that she desperately wanted to hold onto.



Every night. Every night he brutally raped her and there wasn’t a thing she could do to stop him.



* * * * *



Age 16 – Foster Home #5



Fearing the worst, Buffy walked into the newest foster home, seeing the perfect family standing to meet her. Her eyes widened as she looked around the house, not seeing any imperfections that were visible to the eye.



There was no way she could survive here. Not with what she’d gone through. She didn’t deserve to be here- let it be someone who needed it.



* * * * *



Age 17



Climbing out of her window on the night of her seventeenth birthday, Buffy tossed her bag to the ground below before scaling the nearby tree and effortlessly landing on the ground. Scooping up the bag, she ran down the street, never looking back.



Rounding the corner, Buffy didn’t stop running until she reached the bus station. Gasping for air, she sat down on a bench, reaching into a compartment of her bag and withdrawing five hundred dollars. Her life savings.



“It’ll have to be enough,” she whispered, pocketing the majority of the money and standing up to walk to the counter.



“Destination?” the man behind the counter asked, never looking up from the magazine he was reading.



“Sunnydale, California,” Buffy replied. She had always wanted to live in her mother’s hometown and she wasn’t going to go in a roundabout way to get there.



Paying the total amount and grabbing her ticket, she quickly made her way to the bus.



* * * * *



Walking through the streets of Sunnydale a few hours later, Buffy tried to relax. She was safe. For once in her life, she didn’t have to worry about anything…except surviving, but she’d been doing that for so long that it was second nature by now.



Seeing the ‘Sun Spot Motel’ in the distance, Buffy made her way in that direction. It was rundown and decrepit, but it would be a roof over her head.



* * * * *



Falling onto the bed in her motel room a few minutes later, Buffy mentally calculated how much money she had left. She would definitely need what little money she had left after paying for the room for a solid week.



Now she just had to find a job, a place to live, and attempt to forget all about her past and build a life for herself.



Now she just had to survive.

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A/N Okay, from this point, the story is very much mine. I had to use a huge part of the first chapter because it’s important for the remainder of the story, but now I’m able to take a little more freedom with the story. I only kept two things from the original chapter 2 & 3, because I felt that my time was better focused on other aspects of the story…just read and you’ll get what I mean :-)

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Chapter 2 – Plan A…Plan B


Slowly opening her eyes and groaning as the light filtered into her vision, Buffy rolled over in the lumpy bed, trying to remember where she was.

“Oh yeah,” she murmured, letting the images penetrate her foggy brain. “Plan A- find a job.”

Literally rolling out of bed, Buffy landed on the floor with a loud thump and an “Oomph.”

Sitting up and digging through her bag for a moment, Buffy pulled out a pair of jeans and a pale pink shirt, almost snorting at her clothing options. She was anything but sweet and innocent like the color suggested. Rolling her eyes at the thought, she shook her head to clear it.

Quickly getting ready and walking out the door, Buffy stopped in the motel office and grabbed a newspaper, hoping that there would be some worthwhile jobs that were available. She wanted to be able to find something as soon as possible and get out of that dingy motel room. She hadn’t even unpacked in the hopes that she wouldn’t be staying there more than a few days.

‘Maybe I can find a job today and get an apartment soon,’ she thought, feeling something strange for the first time in years…hope.

Walking through the streets of Sunnydale, Buffy was surprised at what a quaint little town it appeared to be. Seeing it the night before hadn’t done it justice. Slowly walking toward a park across the street, she sat on one of the empty swings, idly kicking her legs beneath her as she opened the paper and folded it to the classifieds, her eyes zeroing in on the Want Ads.

Her hopes seemed to drop as she read through the advertisements.

“Great,” she muttered with a sigh, throwing the paper on the ground and grabbing the chains that were holding the swing up. Kicking her legs with more intent, she pushed off the ground and enjoyed a few stress-free moments of letting the air hit her face. “Truck drivers, telemarketers, and a job at a bar. This town isn’t exactly chock full of job opportunities.”

Truck driving would require school, which would require more money than the one hundred dollars she had left after paying for the bus ticket and motel room. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make it as a telemarketer.

“The bar it is,” she mumbled, dragging her feet in the sawdust until the swing came to a stop. Picking up the paper off the ground, Buffy looked at the address and walked to a nearby gas station, asking the attendant for directions.

* * * * *

Walking into the dimly lit bar, Buffy was surprised to look around and see the tables arranged near a stage, complete with poles to assist the dance moves the strippers would be performing. Even for such an early time of day, the interior was dark and smoky as workers milled around, taking down chairs and polishing the stage.

“Yeah?” a guy asked as she walked toward him, letting his eyes roam over her body.

“I’m here about a job,” Buffy said, already feeling uncomfortable with this place.

“Hey, boss!” the guy yelled across the dim club. “Girl here- wants to be a stripper.”

Buffy flushed in embarrassment as her eyes widened. “No,” she said, shaking her head in denial. “No stripping. I, uh, I was wanting to apply as a bartender or…or something, but not a stripper.”

“That’s the only position we have open.”

Turning toward the voice behind her, Buffy looked at the attractive man as she bit her lip.

“I’m Charles Gunn,” he said, holding out his hand and giving her a warm smile when she shook it, immediately putting her at ease. “Call me Gunn. You want the job?”

“This may be a stupid question,” she said softly. “But it’s not like I’m very familiar with these types of clubs…does it pay well?”

“Ten bucks an hour, plus half of all tips you make,” he said with a nod. “I take care of my girls…though, not in the physical sense,” he added when he saw the panicked look on her face.

“Half the tips?”

“I get the other half. And you keep anything you make from lap dances.”

She could almost feel the little bit of dignity that she eagerly clung to fade away, moving just out of her reach to regain it.

“If you make five hundred a night, you take home two fifty. Not bad for a few hours work,” Gunn said.

“No, it’s not,” she said in a dejected voice. “I’ll do it.”

“Great. Start tonight, be here at ten.”

* * * * *

The day seemed to fly by, against Buffy’s will. Every time she looked at the clock, another hour seemed to pass until she was sitting in the dressing room, staring at her reflection in the mirror and not recognizing the girl that looked back at her.

Applying the smoky eye makeup and dark red lipstick, Buffy sighed, critiquing her reflection. Because of her ‘youthful appearance’, according to Gunn, she had been instructed on what to wear for her first night. The other girls that worked at the club enjoyed dressing her up for her performance. They were all surprisingly nice, each remembering what they had gone through when they started working at the club.

Straightening the short gray skirt and fidgeting with her white button-down shirt, Buffy stared in the mirror, seeing the young girl who didn’t exist. The shirt was halfway unbuttoned, letting a red lace bra peek through the flimsy fabric. A matching thong was hidden beneath her skirt and her shoulder-length hair was pulled off her neck, secured with a clip.

“You look like Lolita,” she muttered to herself, adding some more blush to her cheekbones, doing everything she could to keep from thinking of what the next step in this new ‘career’ was. Slipping on the high heels that the girls had picked out for her, Buffy slowly made her way to the entrance to the stage.

“You okay?” one of the girls, named Cordelia, asked, seeing Buffy’s pale face as she looked at the entrance with trepidation.

“You’re first night…did you think you couldn’t do it?” Buffy asked, never making eye contact as she tried to control her breathing.

“It’s hard your first night,” Cordy said with a supportive smile. “It gets easier. And the money doesn’t suck. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I could fall on my ass and get booed off the stage,” Buffy said without missing a beat.

“I’ve been here over a year, and, trust me, these guys wouldn’t boo anyone off that stage, let alone a cute little blonde who will feed each one of their perverted cheerleader fantasies.”

“Ew,” Buffy said, wrinkling her nose at the image of the slobs in the audience fantasizing about her in any type of intimate setting. It was bad enough that she would have to take off her clothes in front of these people- now she was feeling a different kind of violation.

“Just go with the music,” Cordy continued. “Forget that anyone is watching and just pretend that you’re having some fun at home.”

‘Home,’ Buffy thought, suppressing a snort. ‘What’s that?’

“Thought of a stage name yet?” Cordy asked.

“Stage name?” she asked, feeling more panicked.

“Well, ‘Buffy’ would be a perfect name on its own, but you don’t want these guys tracking you down during the day. It’s too much of a hassle, and it’s just easier all around if they knew you as something else.”

“What’s yours?”

“Cherry…I know, I know, it’s a little cliché, but turns out those are the best names.”

“Want to name me?” Buffy joked, feeling too nervous to think of any name, let alone a ‘cliché’.

“Sure,” Cordy said, looking out at the stage. “Bambi is available. The girl using it was the one who quit. Only fitting that you would be the one to use it since you have her job now.”

“Works for me,” Buffy muttered, seeing Gunn motion to her from across the stage.

“You’re on.”

* * * * *

Walking through the crowd, Buffy tried to get over the violated feeling that seemed to surround her. She had already made six hundred dollars from her first set and was now instructed to work the crowd for lap dances. She hated the idea of disappearing into one of the back rooms with a stranger, but Gunn had assured her that there would be a bouncer outside the door the entire time, and if anything happened, the customer would be taken care of.

Seeing her boss standing next to the bar with an intoxicated blonde, Buffy met his eyes before walking through the crowd, pasting a fake smile on her face and flirting with men who she assumed were regulars.

* * * * *

“Who’s that?” Spike asked, a slight slur evident in his voice as he looked at the little blonde in the skimpy, red dress.

“New girl,” Gunn told his friend. “Want an introduction? A little help to get over Drusilla?”

Normally Spike would prefer to continue drowning his troubles in the vast array of bottles set before him, but there was something about this girl that kept drawing him in. No matter where she was in the room, circulating and giving a winning smile to anyone who talked to her, a smile that Spike recognized as fake, his gaze seemed to gravitate toward her.

Leaning back against the bar, his eyes narrowed as he watched her smile falter when an overgrown ape stood up, leading her toward the back rooms.

“Yeah,” he said, never taking his eyes off the blonde. “Set it up…I’ll double whatever that guy is giving her.”

“Fair enough,” Gunn said, quickly making his way through the club and cutting them off before they got to the doorway.

Spike tilted his head, studying the young woman as her eyes darted to the bar before turning back to her boss. A smirk slowly played on his lips as he watched her. It was going to be an interesting night.

Watching as the blonde walked over to him, he let his smile widen. “Hello, cutie.”

“Hi,” she said with a shyness that she hoped was misconstrued as seductiveness. “You’re supposed to go with me.”

“Lead the way, Goldilocks,” he said with a smirk, openly appraising her ass when she turned and led him to the back of the club. Walking behind her a few paces, Spike tilted his head and bit his lip as he watched her hips sway beneath the tight material.

Walking into the small room, Buffy bit her lip as Spike sat down on the couch, comfortably sprawled out as his gaze looked her up and down.

“Nervous?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he picked up on her little signals.

“No,” she said too quickly, shaking her head.

“Come now, luv, you don’t have to lie to me.”

“This is just my first time in here,” she said, biting her lip. “My first night.”

Hearing the soft music start, he watched her posture go rigid before she forced herself to relax.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Spike said, tilting his head to study her and feeling a strange need to protect this girl.

“Thanks,” she whispered, taking a deep breath before walking over to him.

Spike eagerly complied when she took his hand in her smaller one and pulled him to his feet. “You kicking me out?” he asked with a smile, trying to put her at ease, briefly closing his eyes when she felt her hands rest on his hips.

“No,” she said with a soft smile. “I just think it will be a little easier if we start standing…is that okay?”

“That’s fine, kitten,” he said in a soft voice that sent chills racing along her spine.

‘This isn’t right,’ she thought, trying to suppress the shivers that his voice caused. ‘You’re not supposed to be attracted to the customers…even if they are unbelievably hot with amazing British accents and eyes that you could lose yourself in.’

Avoiding his eyes at the thought, Buffy slowly began moving her hips to the music. Her eyes widened when she felt his reaction to her body pressing against her. Running her hands along his chest, she refused to think of the muscles she encountered. Stepping back, she felt a rush go through her when his arms wrapped around her waist.

“Uh uh,” she said with a playful smile, pushing him away. “No touching, remember?”

“Why not?” he asked with a pout, looking her up and down as she lifted the hem of her dress, giving him a better view of her tanned thighs.

“It’s against the rules,” she said with a smile.

“I don’t like rules,” he countered with a smirk.

“Then I can ask the nice bouncer outside to bounce you from the room,” Buffy replied with a sweet expression.

Admitting defeat, Spike held his hands up in surrender before putting them behind his back. Closing his eyes as she gently put her hands on his stomach, he sighed when she pushed him down to the couch. Opening his eyes in time to see her shimmy out of her dress, moving to the beat of the music, he felt himself grow painfully hard as she stood before him.

Watching as she brazenly straddled his lap, Spike couldn’t resist the urge to rest his hands on her hips, looking her up and down and taking in the exposed skin. Only her red scrap of a g-string offered any coverage on her body.

Gritting his teeth as she moved against him, Spike looked up at her with lust-filled eyes, suppressing the groan of desire as she writhed on his lap. Halting her movements for the time being, he felt his breathing escalate when her body automatically arched against his before she looked into his eyes.

“What’s your name?” he asked in a raspy whisper, holding her up by her arms to look into her eyes.

“Bu…Bambi,” she said, relaying her stage name.

“Your real name, luv.”

“I don’t think I should tell you,” she said softly, trying to refrain from pressing her lips to his when she realized how close he was. ‘No kissing, Summers,’ she thought to herself. ‘Dancing. That’s it.’

“Tell me,” he whispered, pulling her closer to run his tongue along her collarbone, tasting the salty skin and feeling his erection grow even harder, seeking her out.

“I can’t,” she murmured, grinding her hips against his and halting any further questions as she moaned and arched her body into his.

Clutching at her hips while she began moving on top of him, Spike marveled for a moment how this wasn’t so much a ‘dance’ as it was ‘shagging’. Their clothes were still on- well, his clothes were still on- but the intimacy of the moment was a shock to him.

Sitting up more and changing the angle of their movements, he smiled when Buffy cried out in pleasure as the new position caused her sensitive clit to push against his covered erection.

“Please, pet,” he whispered, reaching for his belt. Her eyes widened for a brief moment before grabbing his wrists and holding them in a surprisingly strong grip.

“Can’t,” she murmured breathlessly, arching her back into him, allowing him to take a nipple into his mouth. Pulling a hand free from her grasp, Spike gently squeezed the other exposed breast, surprised when Buffy’s hand covered his, increasing the pressure.

Squeezing his eyes shut when her arms wrapped around his neck, Spike listened to the soft cries of pleasure that came from her as she rode out her orgasm. Nothing could have surprised him more than the feel of her nearly-nude body pressed against his, clutching at him before his own climax overwhelmed him.

Holding onto her for a moment as he let his head fall to her shoulder, Spike slowly opened his eyes, trying to contemplate what just happened.

“Well, that was new,” he whispered breathlessly, unable to move his head from her shoulder as he tried to regain his motor functions.

“It was?” she asked, gasping for air.

“For a woman to make me come in my pants, like I’m a teenager who doesn’t know how to work his equipment? Yeah.”

“That’s a good thing, then?” Buffy asked, sitting back to look at him through hooded eyes.

“Bloody hell, woman, you have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

Choosing to ignore the question, Buffy sat up and turned to look over her shoulder at the clock that was hanging over the door. “I’ve gotta go,” she whispered, reluctantly standing up.

“No,” Spike said, grabbing her wrist before she could put her dress back on. “At least tell me your name…tell me when I can see you again.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she said softly, pulling free of him and slipping her dress over her head before walking toward the door.

“Wait,” he said, calling out to her before she could leave.

Watching as he reached for his wallet, Buffy bit her lip, feeling a mass of conflicting emotions run through her. Seeing him pull out a wad of bills from the leather, she took a step back, shaking her head.

“It’s yours, pet,” he said, offering her the money.

“Keep it,” she muttered before quickly turning and fleeing the room, slamming the door behind her.

Spike stared at the door for a long moment before it opened again, revealing his friend.

“Well?” Gunn asked, leaning against the frame. “Was she worth it? Did you forget about your ex?”

Still staring out the door, Spike was barely listening to Gunn. “Who?”

“I take that as a ‘yes’ then.”



Thanks so much to: Franchesca, Caitie, PK, Alicia, phantomwriter, Amanda, Celestria, Nic, willowmouse, pj, Rana, BuffyandSpikeForever & Renee for reviewing!

Chapter 3 – Home Sweet Home


Waiting until Gunn walked into the dressing room, Buffy took a deep breath before approaching him.

“Anything I can do for you, Buffy?” he asked with a friendly smile.

“Um…I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to keep this job,” she said with a tentative smile.

“Really?” he asked, obviously disappointed. “Well, that’s too bad. You have real potential, kid.”

“Thanks…I think. And thank you for the job, but it’s just not for me.”

“Understandable. I hear that more than you’d think,” Gunn said with a nod, reaching into his pocket and extracting some money. “Here you go.”

“What’s this?” she asked, taking the bills from him.

“Your cut from what you earned tonight. And a little extra bonus.”

“Bonus?” she asked in confusion.

“You’re a good kid, Buffy,” he said with a smile. “It’s hard enough to find a job. This way you can have a little extra.”

Hugging the man in front of her that she’d only just met a few hours ago, Buffy felt overwhelmed by the generosity of a stranger as she felt tears come to her eyes when she pulled away. “Thank you,” she whispered, giving him a smile when he helped her into her coat.

“Can I call you a cab?” he asked, walking her to the exit door.

“No, that’s alright,” Buffy replied. “I’m staying a few blocks away, so it’s not a big deal. I’m just going to walk.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah. Thanks again, Gunn.”

* * * * *

Walking out of the club, Buffy pulled her coat more securely around her, trying to offer some coverage against the chill in the air.

Shivering as an uneasy feeling crept over her, she hurried out of the alley, eager to get back to the motel and lock the door behind her.

Gasping when she felt her shoulders seized in a firm grip, Buffy’s eyes widened in terror as she was pinned to a brick wall.

“Looking for a good time, baby?” the man asked. The scent of alcohol rolling off of him nearly had Buffy gagging as she turned her head, trying to figure out how to get away.

“No,” she ground out through clenched teeth. “Leave me alone.”

“Lucky for you, I know that with girls like you, ‘no’ means ‘yes’,” he said with a drunken leer, trying to find her lips.

Buffy cringed in repulsion, trying to fight the urge to regurgitate as his lips met her neck in a sloppy kiss.

“Let go of me!” she screamed, trying to jerk her arms out of his grasp as flashes of her past threatened to overwhelm her.

“If I were you, I would listen to the lady.”

Hearing the voice of someone who, apparently, wanted to help her, Buffy’s body nearly sagged in relief before remembering that she wasn’t out of the woods yet.

“None of your concern,” the man said, still holding Buffy against the wall as she struggled. “She’s asking for it.”

“I feel certain she wasn't.”

“What do you know about it, grandpa?”

Closing the distance between them, Buffy’s eyes widened as the older man swung, his fist connecting with the man’s face.

“Quite a bit, actually,” he replied.

She gasped as the man landed a solid hit to his jaw before the older man retaliated, throwing a punch with such force, it knocked the larger man to the ground.

“Are you alright?” he asked in concern, looking at Buffy with a worried expression.

“I’m fine,” she replied, wincing in sympathy when she saw the painful expression on his face. “I’m more worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said with a kind smile, looking at the man who was passed out on the ground. “Come along- I’ll escort you where you need to go.”

“Thank you,” she said with a smile.

“I’m Rupert Giles, by the way. You can call me Giles.”

“Buffy Summers,” she replied, clutching her coat with one hand as she shook his offered hand.

“Where do you live?” he asked as they began walking through the darkened streets.

“Um…the Sun Spot Motel,” she said, avoiding his eyes.

“You live in that rat-trap?” he asked in disbelief.

“Temporarily,” she said softly.

“How long is ‘temporarily’?”

“Until I can afford to move out,” she said, looking down at her feet as they continued to walk.

“May I ask where you work?”

“Well…as of right now…nowhere,” Buffy replied with a sheepish expression. “I kind of had to quit tonight. Conflict of interests or…more accurately, morals.”

Giles seemed to contemplate her for a moment before speaking. “I own a shop in town. It’s called the Magic Box. I was going to run an ad in the paper tomorrow, advertising that we need some help, but perhaps you would be willing to take the position?”

“You’re serious?” she asked in disbelief.

“Absolutely,” he said with a warm smile.

“That would be great,” she said with a bright smile, her shoulders sagging in relief. “Are you sure you’re not some kind of guardian angel?” she asked with a grin. “Rescue the girl and guarantee that she’s alright?”

“Fairly certain,” Giles said with a chuckle. “And if it’s not too presumptuous, I have several available guest rooms in my house, if you’re interested. Purely platonic offer, of course,” he added when he saw her bite her lip in contemplation. “It’s on a much safer side of town, and you wouldn’t have to worry about running into lowlifes every night.”

Buffy watched as he looked over his shoulder, reassuring himself that the man wasn’t following them.

“And I won’t be an imposition?” she asked nervously.

“My wife died several years ago,” he said, earning a sympathetic look from Buffy. “My son is supposed to come back from England, where he’s been living, but he hasn’t graced me with his presence just yet,” he continued, rolling his eyes at the mention of his wayward son. “He could come stumbling in at any time, but other than that, I live alone.”

“Why would you want to take in a girl from the street? Especially one you just met?”

“I have good intuition about people,” he said with a smile. “I’m not one to turn away someone who needs help.”

“Do I really look that desperate?” she asked sadly.

“No,” Giles said, shaking his head. “You look that lonely.”

Buffy wasn’t one to trust people when she first met them- she’d been burned too many times in the past to trust her intuition. But at the same time, there was something about this man that made her feel compelled to trust him. “That would be great,” she agreed with a smile.

* * * * *

“If you want to get your things together, I’ll go pick up my car. It’s parked about a block away.”

Nodding at Giles as she let herself into the hotel room, Buffy gathered her belongings. She kept an eye on the window, feeling a sense of relief when she saw Giles pull up to the motel in a sporty red car. A part of her had been worried that he would doubt his offer once he got some distance from the situation and would simply leave, but the bigger part of her knew that he was a man of his word.

Throwing the few belongings that were still laying out into her bag, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. “Are you actually doing this?” she muttered to herself. “You’re going to live with a man you just met…”

Buffy trailed off, knowing that she would be safer with him than she ever had been with any of the other families she’d lived with in the past. Taking a deep breath, she threw her bag over her shoulder and opened the door as Giles was about to knock. He gave her a kind smile before taking her bag from her and leading her to the car.

Buffy never looked back. Maybe it was possible to start a new life.

Maybe.

* * * * *

Buffy stayed quiet throughout the short ride, watching with intent curiosity as Giles pulled in front of a large house and shut off the engine. “Home sweet home,” he said with a friendly, contagious smile.

“I can’t thank you enough for this, Giles,” Buffy said gratefully.

“There’s really no need to,” he replied, getting out of the car and grabbing Buffy’s bag out of the backseat before she could reach for it. Ever the gentleman.

Leading her toward the house, Giles quickly unlocked the front door and held it open for her
to enter first. Buffy’s eyes widened at her first glimpse of the beautiful interior.

“This is amazing,” she murmured, looking around. A spacious living room with a huge fireplace and flat-screen TV was to her left, complete with white leather couches and black accent furniture arranged around the room. She smiled when she saw the array of old books covering every flat surface. It kept the room from looking too much like a museum, giving it the appeal of a room that could be lived in and not just looked at.

Seeing an office filled with cherry, old-fashioned furniture to her right and the winding staircase that stood in front of her, Buffy barely comprehended when Giles responded to her appraisal of his home.

“I’m quite proud of it,” he said with a wide smile before cringing at the obvious soreness that resided from the punch the other man had inflicted on him.

“How's your face?” Buffy asked, biting her lip and feeling guilty that this kind man was in pain because of her.

“Oh, still ruggedly handsome. 'Grandpa', indeed,” he said with a small smile, reaching up to gently probe the skin. “Ow.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with compassion evident in his eyes. “You did nothing wrong, and I couldn’t leave you alone with that pillock to try and fend for yourself.”

“Thank you,” she said with a soft smile.

“Now, let me show you to your room. I’m sure you’re exhausted from…”

Giles trailed off as he paused on the landing.

“Work?” he questioned, trying not to be too judgmental about her possible chosen profession as he remembered the strip club that opened into the alley he had found her in.

Buffy licked her suddenly dry lips and shook her head. “I-I don’t work there…it was more of a…temporary, one night situation.”

“I see,” he replied, continuing the climb up the stairs. “How old are you, Buffy?”

“Nineteen,” she lied, ducking her head in shame.

“Out of school, then?”

Buffy hesitantly nodded. She hated lying to this man, but she couldn’t risk him finding out her past and being shoved back into the bottomless system that was social services. He had been so generous, but she could never work two jobs and go to school. And she certainly didn’t want to outstay her welcome after he showed her so much kindness in such a short span of time.

Giles showed her into a beautiful bedroom that was three times the size of her bedrooms in the past. A queen-sized bed stood against one wall with a matching dresser, chest, and desk, completing the look. Plush carpetting covered the floors, and the look was topped off by a window-seat covered with throw pillows. The entire room was done in soft shades of blues and purples, accentuated by the soft cream-colored carpet and dark wood

“I hope this is acceptable.”

“Acceptable?” Buffy echoed, staring in awe as she took in the huge windows and walk-in closet. “It’s…I can’t even think how to describe it,” she said with a soft smile, slowly walking through the room, feeling as if she was in shock.

“Well…I’ll let you get some rest. You can spend tomorrow settling in, and then we’ll discuss you joining the staff at the Magic Box.”

“Thank you so much…”

Buffy trailed off when she heard the front door open and close with a slam before loud, drunken yelling filled the house. She involuntarily shrunk back against the wall as Giles excused himself and hurried down the stairs.

Buffy took a deep, steadying breath before walking toward the open door and shamelessly eavesdropping on the not-so-quiet conversation.

“William?”

“How many times have I told you? It’s Spike,” she heard a man reply in a bitter voice, her eyes widening at the familiarity of the younger British accent. There was definitely more alcohol slurring his words, but there was no mistaking who the man was.

“I went out looking for you tonight. Where the bloody hell have you been?” Giles asked, obviously concerned.

“Isn’t that obvious, Pops? I was getting hammered and having a damn good time of it, too, if I do say so myself. Best time I’ve had in a while,” he said with a secretive smile, thinking of the blonde.

“For heaven’s sake, keep your voice down. We’re not the only ones here.”

“Entertaining a lady friend, are we, Da’?” he slurred.

“For your information, no, I was not ‘entertaining’ anyone. There is going to be a young woman staying here until she can get back on her feet,” Giles informed his errant son, growing more frustrated as the seconds ticked by.

“Always the Good Samaritan, aren’t you?” he asked in a deprecating tone.

“Look, William, I know you’re upset about Drusilla-”

“Don’t!”

Buffy cringed at the hostility in the other man’s voice as well as the mention of another woman.

“Don’t even say her name,” Spike replied in a menacing tone.

“Relationships come and go-”

“You think I don’t bloody well know that?” he asked in a loud voice. “For your information, I didn’t get pissed because of Drusilla…alright, I started to because of her, but she wasn’t the only woman in the factor tonight.”

“William, you said if you came home, you would-”

“Oh, bugger this!” Spike interrupted, climbing the stairs and gripping the banister for support. “I don’t need a pep talk from my soddin’ father, alright? I came back here so I could get away from everything, not to have it follow me across the pond, so leave it alone, Giles.”

Giles sighed as Spike disappeared up the stairs. He briefly thought about checking on Buffy but decided against it. She seemed a little jumpy, and he didn’t want to add to that by crowding her. He would explain the situation that involved his wayward son in the morning and leave her to relax tonight.

* * * * *

Thirty minutes later, Buffy walked out of the bathroom. It was then, with her face freshly scrubbed, hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing her yummy sushi pajamas, that she ran into Spike.

Jumping when she literally ran into him outside the door, she bit her lip as nerves seemed to take her over. She was sure he had been asleep when she made a dash for the bathroom. Her eyes widened as he calmly looked her up and down before raising an eyebrow. “You’re the ‘houseguest’?” he asked her.

“That’s me,” Buffy said, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her pajama top, studying him carefully as he continued to look at her.

“Well…when Dad said young woman, I didn’t think that would mean…”

“Mean…what?” Buffy asked.

“Nothing, pet.”

“Mean what?” she pushed.

“I didn’t think that would mean he’d get some hot little chit that doesn’t look a day over seventeen,” he replied, pinching the bridge of his nose as he began to sober up. Buffy flushed a bright red, looking away in embarrassment. “Do I know you?” he asked, looking at her again.

Buffy felt short of breath when she realized he didn’t remember her. Either it was the alcohol messing with his brain or…she wasn’t that memorable. Looking down as the thought flitted through her brain, she slowly shook her head. “Um…no…no, I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” he muttered before walking past her. “Oh, I’m Spike, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” she replied in a tight voice. Her heart flipped in her chest when he took her hand in his and left a gentle kiss on it. This definitely wasn’t the behavior of the sex-god she’d met at the club just hours before.

“Pleasure to meet you,” he said with a soft smile, looking at her through hooded eyes before closing the bathroom door.

Turning and walking back to her bedroom, Buffy didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She had never felt better or worse in her entire life.




Thanks so much to: PK, Stephanie, TammyAsh666, Caatje, Rana, Amanda, Nic, Alicia, Caitie, Celestria & pj for reviewing!

Chapter 4 – Getting to Know You


Opening her eyes as the sunlight warmed her face, Buffy stretched contentedly, enjoying the fact that she actually had the space to stretch in the luxurious bed as the satin sheets wrapped around her. She couldn’t remember a time when she felt this safe. Slowly sitting up, she let the down comforter fall away, smiling as she looked around the room.

‘I can’t believe I’m this lucky,’ she thought, biting her lip to restrain from giggling. ‘This time yesterday, I was waking up in a fleabag motel with the wonderful prospects of being a stripper lying ahead of me.’

Climbing out of bed, Buffy grabbed some clean clothes out of the huge closet that wasn’t even partially filled with her belongings before walking across the hall to the bathroom. Tucking away some of the loose strands that had fallen loose from her ponytail while she was sleeping, she yawned as she shut the bathroom door behind her.

Quickly going through her morning routine, Buffy relaxed as she stepped under the hot shower, letting the steam and spray soothe her tense muscles. Lathering and rinsing her hair with shampoo and conditioner, Buffy closed her eyes, leaning into the water.

Feeling a draft of cool air wrap around her body, her eyes snapped open seconds before a shriek erupted from her as she saw Spike standing in front of her, a perplexed expression on his handsome face. Shutting off the water and grabbing the towel from the shower rod, Buffy eagerly wrapped it around herself, still feeling naked under his gaze.

“God, don’t you knock?” she asked in irritation.

“You’re…from last night…you…”

Sighing as she bit her lip and avoided his eyes. “Yeah…we met last night.”

“I don’t mean here,” he said, obviously struggling to get over his hangover as he watched her. “The strip club.”

“Yes,” Buffy said softly, not seeing the point in lying to him since he obviously remembered. “That was me. Now can we get back to my little inquiry- don’t you knock?”

“Sorry, pet,” he said with an easy smirk. “Didn’t know anyone else was in here. And it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

“Different situation,” she said through gritted teeth. “And there has to be a million bathrooms in this place, and you just happen to walk into the one with the naked girl in the shower?”

“Look, I’m sorry, alright? But my Da usually starts a shower for me in the morning when he knows I’ll have a hangover. And…don’t know why you’re so dainty all of a sudden. After last night…”

“That was different,” she said, growing tired of his insistence. “It’s not like I walk around naked on a daily basis.”

“Wouldn’t complain if you did,” Spike replied, biting his lip as his gaze perused her towel-clad form. “Definitely no harm in showing off that body.”

Flushing under his gaze, Buffy quickly grabbed her clothes and ran out of the bathroom.

Slamming the door of her bedroom, she breathed heavily as she leaned against it.

‘How am I supposed to make it through this?’ she thought, looking around the room. ‘I have a new place to live, a new job, and the one mistake that I made when I came into this town has somehow tracked me down…and not even on purpose!’

Closing her eyes for a moment, Buffy tried to get her thoughts in order before pushing away from the door and quickly dressing in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. She had the need to be completely covered, subconsciously hoping to counteract the memories of her being practically naked the night before and writhing in a stranger’s lap. A stranger who, as it turned out, would be living down the hall from her.

Pulling her damp hair into a bun, Buffy’s eyes widened when she saw the door open in the reflection of the mirror. Busying herself with her appearance, she ignored Spike as he walked in, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it. Tucking away the loose tendrils that were too short to make their way back to the elastic band, she concentrated on her breathing as she felt his eyes on her, watching her every move. Putting lotion on her hands, she finally met his eyes in the mirror and sighed.

“What?” she asked in irritation.

“Wondering if I could get a repeat performance of last night, pet,” he said with an easy smile, crossing his arms over his chest in a relaxed stance.

“Not gonna happen,” she replied, straightening the sparse items on her dresser as she avoided him. Never seeing him cross the room, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt his arms wrap around her waist. Raising her eyes to the mirror, she felt as if her heart was trying to jump out of her chest as she met his gaze. “Listen…the girl that you met last night…she wasn’t me. I mean, she was, but…she was a version of me I don’t really want to relive.”

Watching as Spike slowly stepped back and turned her around to face him, Buffy gave him a tentative smile as she looked into his eyes.

“You understand…right?” she asked nervously.

“In other words- last night never happened.”

“In a nutshell,” she said with a halfhearted smile.

“Don’t know how I feel about that, pet,” Spike said, studying Buffy as her face paled. Closing his eyes for a moment, he sighed before nodding. “Fine. Never happened.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “And…it’s not that…I mean, I had a good time, but…it just can’t happen again. Kind of a one-shot deal. Not offering any repeat performances.”

“Not even for willing customers?” he asked with a smile.

“Especially not for willing customers,” she said with an answering smile.

“Good to know,” Spike said, backing away from her and walking toward the door before snapping his fingers and turning around. “One more thing, pet.”

“Yeah,” she asked, turning to look at him in apprehension.

“What’s your name?”

Giggling softly, she looked into his warm eyes. “It’s Buffy.”

Spike studied her carefully for a moment. “You’re serious?”

“Yes,” she said with a smile. “My name is Buffy.”

Crossing the room, Spike repeated his move from the previous night, gently taking her hand in his and leaving a soft kiss on it. “Nice to meet you, Buffy.”

* * * * *

“It’s fairly simple,” Giles said as he showed Buffy around the Magic Box the next day. “All you really need to know is where everything is located and how to properly work the cash register. William will be working most of your shifts for the time being, and if he’s not here, then I will be.”

“I think I can handle it, Giles,” Buffy said with a friendly smile, looking around the shop. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks when her eyes met Spike’s. He was sitting at the large table on one side of the store, his feet kicked up onto the flat surface, idly flipping through one of the books. He gave Buffy a slow smirk when he saw her cheeks redden and raised an eyebrow suggestively, smiling when she turned around so she wouldn’t have to face him.

“Well, I best be off. If you need anything, Spike can help you. It’s been a few years, but I’m sure he remembers everything, don’t you, son?”

“Yeah, Dad,” he replied, never looking up from the book, although to Buffy, it sounded like he didn’t even hear the question.

“Alright, my number is next to the phone if you need anything. It should be a fairly slow night, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

‘Except your incredibly hot son who I practically screwed the other night,’ Buffy thought, biting her lip as she glanced at Spike.

“Spike, are you able to take Buffy home, or shall I make time to pick her up?”

Spike smirked at the young woman before answering his father. “I think I’ll be able to take care of her.”

Buffy blushed, biting her lip as she averted her eyes.

“Very good,” Giles said with a smile, obviously unaware of the innuendo in his son’s voice. “I’ll see you both at home.”

“Bye, Giles!” Buffy said a little louder than intended as her nervousness took over. This was the first time she would be alone with Spike since the previous day and she didn’t know if she’d be able to make it the next few hours without acting on her urges that were trying to make themselves known.

Giles turned to wave before he walked out the door, leaving the two blondes alone. Buffy took a shaky breath before looking around for a place to sit. She started to walk over to the stool that was sitting next to the cash register when she heard Spike’s voice.

“You can sit over here, luv. I don’t bite…much. Course you knew that already, didn’t you?” he finished with a smirk.

“I’m fine here,” she muttered, running her hand along the edge of the counter- doing anything to keep her mind off the infuriating man she was trapped with.

“Come on, Buffy. Was only teasing. Come sit down.”

‘Be cool, you can do this,’ she thought to herself, pushing herself away from the counter before turning to walk back to the table.

Sitting rigidly in her seat and letting her fingertips trail over the cover of one of the many books sitting in front of her, Buffy avoided the strong gaze that she knew was directed her way. “I probably should have asked this the other night, but I can always blame it on the alcohol,” Spike said with a smile, tossing his book on the table with a ‘thump.’ “Or the incredibly hot woman in my company,” he continued with a smile, causing a faint blush to rise to Buffy’s cheeks. “How old are you, Goldilocks?”

“Nineteen,” she replied softly, feeling guilty for lying- especially to Spike.

“University?”

Buffy shook her head ‘no’, never taking her eyes off the books in front of her as she bit her lip, trying not to let her nerves show.

“What are you planning on doing?”

“I-I don’t know,” she murmured.

‘Survive,’ the voice in her head spoke up. ‘Above all else- survive.’

“I’m just trying to find my way right now,” she said softly, finally looking up at his penetrating gaze and feeling her stomach flip.

“Understandable,” Spike replied, standing up and walking over to a shelf to look at some of the merchandise.

“What about you?” Buffy asked, hoping to shift the topic of conversation away from her and the fact that her checkered past was still lurking beneath the surface.

“What about me?” Spike asked, turning around with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, it didn’t sound like you lived with your dad.”

“Eavesdropping the other night, were you?” he asked with a smirk.

“N-no…I just…well…”

“Relax, pet,” he said, sitting down in the chair next to her. “I would have done the same thing. And I’ve been in England.”

The tone in his voice changed as he muttered the last part. “I’ve always wanted to go there,” she said with a smile, changing the direction of the conversation.

“You’d love it,” Spike said, letting a genuine smile cross his face when he saw her smile. “It’s a lot better than Sunnyhell, that’s for sure.”

“It’s not so bad here,” she said softly, avoiding his eyes once again.

Spike tilted his head, studying her for a moment. “Where are you from, luv?”

“Oh, um…you wouldn’t know it…it’s a small town,” Buffy said, standing up and keeping her back to him as she straightened an already neat shelf, moving the trinkets around to keep her hands busy. She jumped when she felt him right behind her.

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re not being completely honest with me?”

“What if I’m not?” Buffy countered, turning around to face him. “Is that your business?”

“Maybe not,” Spike said, his eyes darting from her eyes to her full lips. “But considering I pay for a lap dance at a strip club and then you just show up and move in with my father, I think I have a right to figure out whether he’s welcomed a con artist into his happy home.”

A brief frown marred her pretty features as she shook her head. “First of all- you didn’t pay for anything,” she said, her voice choked as she remembered the other night and it’s lasting affects on her self-worth. “And if you really want to know…I’m just looking for a fresh start…that’s all,” she murmured, revealing more of herself with that simple sentence than she wanted to, but it was too late to take it back now.

Spike tilted his head, his brow furrowed as he watched her closely. “A fresh start from what?”

“I-I really don’t…”

Buffy pushed by him, hoping to get some distance from him and her previous comment, but Spike grabbed her arm.

“What is it, Buffy?”

“Spike, it’s nothing,” she said with a fake smile that usually worked wonders, but he seemed to look right through it.

“Buffy-”

“Just leave it alone,” she said sharply before softening her voice. “Please, Spike, just leave it alone.”

“I can’t do that,” he replied in a quiet tone. “I can’t just-”

He was silenced as Buffy threw her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers in a rough kiss. It was a last, frantic effort before she knew that she would tell him everything…and she wasn’t ready to tell him everything. She wanted it to stay buried, locked away where she would never have to remember.

Spike was stunned by the kiss but eagerly banded his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. They each battled with the other, their tongues frantically dueling. Buffy pulled back slightly to nip at his bottom lip, eliciting a moan from him before he pinned her to the nearby wall, delving into her mouth once again and taking what he had so desperately wanted the night he first met her.

The sound of the bell above the door separated them. Breathing heavily, they looked at each other with lust-filled eyes. Their lips were both swollen and red, and Spike’s eyes were drawn to her heaving chest.

“I better go help them,” she whispered, looking at the customers who were now browsing the front of the store. She needed the distance from this man who was awakening something inside of her that she never knew existed. It was one thing to have a meaningless encounter with him, but the kiss had provoked something.

She didn’t want to feel.

She wanted to stay numb.

She wanted to do whatever it took to walk away from her past and never let it come back to her.

Spike watched, still in shock, as Buffy turned and walked to the front of the store. His breathing soon regulated, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

‘Bloody hell,’ he thought, narrowing his eyes slightly as he studied her. ‘After nearly shagging her, who would have thought her kiss could do nearly as much to me?’

Buffy glanced back at him, biting her lip nervously.

‘I wonder if he forgot what we were talking about,’ she thought. ‘Because I sure as hell did.’

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A/N From this point on- the story stays close to my original version. I’ve changed a few little things, but the basic plot is still the same.


Thanks so much to: Rana, Kar, Seraiza, Caatje, Alicia, Amanda, willowmouse, Caitie, melissa g, BuffyandSpikeForever, Mac, Franchesca, pj, Reciprocity, Cordykitten & erika for reviewing!

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Chapter 5 – Locked Up


Luckily for Buffy, there had been a steady flow of customers in the store for the rest of the night, giving her the opportunity to avoid Spike for most of the shift. Now that the story was closing, she watched with trepidation as Spike locked the door after the last customer walked out.

‘Why is there so much symbolism with the simple turn of a lock?’ Buffy thought with a gulp. She quickly busied herself with counting the money in the register, fighting the shiver that raced down her spine when she felt Spike walk over to stand behind her, obviously enjoying the affect he was having on her.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?” she asked in exasperation after a few minutes of feeling his eyes on her.

“I am,” he said with a smirk, hopping up on the counter to watch her.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “It looks like you’re doing a wonderful job of doing nothing. I’m sure your dad couldn’t wait to let you work. You’re making one hell of an employee,” she said sarcastically.

“Thank you,” Spike replied, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek, causing Buffy to blush and look away. “We going to talk about what happened earlier or not?”

“My vote- not.”

“Come on, Buffy,” he said in a voice that was far too seductive for Buffy’s comfort level.

“Spike, it was nothing,” she replied, counting the money in her hand for the third time, hoping to be able to focus on it. “We did more than that the other night and that was…it was nothing, alright?”

“It didn’t feel like nothing,” he responded with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy sighed, abandoning the money to go turn off the lights in the front of the store.

Spike kicked his legs over the counter, following her movements before hopping down and walking after her.

“We have to talk,” he said, watching as she stopped walking with a sigh.

“About what?” she asked, turning to face him with an exasperated expression on her face.

“We kissed, Buffy.”

“So?” she replied, turning around and walking away again as she felt Spike right behind her, following her every step of the way.

“We…we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music,
and the rising…music, and what was that, Buffy?”

“A spell?” she replied with a smirk, gesturing around the shop and reminding him that they were in a magic shop.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh, don't get all prim and proper with me.”

“I wasn’t, I was just…Spike, it was fun, but…”

Trailing off as she turned off the lights, Buffy felt her breathing escalate when she felt Spike’s body press against hers. Images automatically started rushing through her brain as she remembered the feel of him the other night as she moved on top of him. Briefly wondering what it would be like to have both of them naked in bed together, she let her eyes close.

“Spike, don’t,” she whispered, not sure if she would be able to turn him down if she looked into his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she summoned all of her courage and walked toward the back, hoping to get some distance between them.

“Buffy-”

“Can we go?” she asked, throwing all of the money haphazardly into the cash box and straightening it as best as she could before handing it to Spike.

He sighed but took the box into the office to put in the safe as Buffy clocked out.

“You ready?” he asked, meeting her at the back door. Seeing her nod and give him a soft smile when he held the door open for her, he let himself relax a little bit.

The car ride was made in strained silence before Spike flipped on the CD player. The Ramones quickly filled the interior, and Buffy was able to breathe a sigh of relief that he obviously wasn’t going to bring up the subject again.

Buffy liked Spike…she really liked Spike, but she couldn’t risk getting close to anyone. Shutting down was the best and only defense mechanism she had, but it didn’t make the loneliness any easier to bear.

Spike kept a close eye on Buffy as he drove. He knew there was something that she wasn’t telling him, and he didn’t expect her to open up to a virtual stranger…but he would have preferred if she did.

“You okay?” he asked after a few minutes.

Buffy’s head snapped around to face him. “Yeah,” she said a little too quickly.

Spike nodded, not believing her for a second. “You seem a little quiet.”

“That’s just me,” she said softly.

Spike chuckled. “I highly doubt that,” he said as they pulled into the driveway. “In fact- I know for a fact that you’re not quiet.”

Feeling her cheeks flame red, Buffy tried to keep the pout from forming on her bottom lip. “I’m not much for conversations,” she said, choosing to rephrase.

“I highly doubt that as well.”

Seeing the more pronounced pout as she turned toward him, Spike swallowed, fighting the urge to kiss her when it didn’t disappear.

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“You just don’t seem like the shy type.”

“You’ve known me for a little more than a day and you think you know what ‘type’ I am?”

“First of all- I think I’m more intimately aware of who you are than most people,” he said, trying to smother the chuckle as her eyes narrowed on him. “And it’s not like it’s too hard to figure you out,” he responded with a shrug.

“You’d be surprised,” Buffy muttered, getting out of the car and leaving Spike to wonder what she meant.

He caught her as she walked into the house, lowering his voice so they didn’t wake his father. “Look, I know we’re not the best of friends or anything, but I want you to know that if you need to talk…”

“You’re volunteering?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, her cynical nature shining through. “Or are you just hoping for a ‘repeat performance’?”

“I’m volunteering,” Spike said, taking a deep breath. He was about to say more when it all became too much for him. The soft eyes teamed with the skeptical expression and the kiss that was still etched in his memory. Grabbing her arms and crushing her body to his, he eagerly smashed his lips onto hers. Buffy gasped but quickly parted her lips, moaning when his tongue brushed against hers. The kiss was more passionate than the one they’d shared a few hours ago, and she soon found herself drowning in him.

They battled for dominance, Spike’s hands abandoning her arms to grasp her hips and push her against the wall. Buffy gripped his face, pulling him closer and grinding her body against his.

Spike moaned, his entire body tensing, trying to control his lust as it raged through his veins. Their lips slowly separated as their eyes opened. Gasping for breath, Spike leaned into her again, seeking out her softness, but she evaded his touch. Slipping under his arm, Buffy grasped the banister in her hand, her heart still pounding with unfulfilled desire.

“I better…”

She never finished as she turned and ran up the stairs, leaving a very confused and very sexually frustrated Spike behind her.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, wondering how this girl could affect him so much when he had only known her for such a short time.

* * * * *

Buffy groaned when she saw Spike walk through the door of the Magic Box.

‘This was supposed to be a fresh start,’ she thought to herself. ‘How can I start fresh if everything I do, comes back to haunt me?’

Of course it wasn’t everything. Buffy knew that, since she was successfully blocking out the rest of her past.

It was Spike.

Buffy had been able to avoid him for a few days, and she thought tonight was another success. She and Giles had gotten to know each other a little more, with only a few fibs on her end, and she was enjoying the feeling of having a father figure again. A feeling that she hadn’t had in years. Now it was getting close to closing time, and Spike had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

“Hey, Dad,” he greeted with a bright smile. “Why don’t you take the rest of the night off? I don’t have anything better to do, and you’ve been working hard lately.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at the overly helpful son that he was trying to be. Obviously Giles was buying into it as he smiled.

“Thank you, William. I think I might just take you up on that offer. But you worked this afternoon, are you sure you won’t mind?”

Spike glanced at Buffy before shaking his head. “Won’t mind at all.”

Silently pleading with Giles to stay, Buffy sighed when, apparently, he wasn’t hearing her inner monologue as he grabbed his coat. “Not much to do tonight. There are some boxes that need to be moved down to the basement, and the items on the table down there need to be displayed for tomorrow, but that can be done after everything’s closed for the night.”

“No problem,” Spike replied, smiling at Buffy. “We can handle it.”

* * * * *

Spike surprisingly left her alone for half an hour. It was to the point that Buffy was starting to worry that she was just a way to relieve the tension a few days ago and nothing more. He had agreed to not mention the night at the strip club, but the kiss- both of them, were still burned in her memory.

‘Was I just an available outlet?’ she wondered, biting her lip as she straightened a shelf. ‘Was I just convenient?’

It didn’t occur to her that Spike was using the tactic of ignoring her, for the very reason of getting Buffy to re-think the situation.

They stayed quiet as she counted the money and Spike locked the door, idly straightening a few things before wandering over to the counter, still staying quiet.

“What?” Buffy finally asked sharply after he stared at her for a few minutes.

Spike clucked his tongue and shook his head. “Quite a temper on you, isn’t there?” he asked with a smile.

“Why are you here, Spike?” she asked with a sigh, turning back to the money and attempting to recount it.

“Thought we could spend some quality time together,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, that never really ends well, does it?” she replied, glancing up at him.

“It did the other night,” he replied in a husky voice.

“You really seem awfully fixated on a couple of kisses, Spike,” she said before grabbing a box and walking toward the basement.

“And you seem awfully quick to forget about them,” he said after a moment, quickly picking up another box and following her down the stairs.

Buffy put down the box before turning back to him and crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t know if you wanted it to mean more, especially after the first night we…met. But it was just a mistake…every time.” Seeing the dejected look on his face turn to amusement, she continued, “Look. I'm sorry, okay? I'm…I'm sorry if you thought that it meant more.”

“But…”

“But…when I kissed you…you know we can’t do this because of Giles, right?”

A frustrated expression crossed Spike’s face. “You know, you better be more careful. I’m starting to wonder about you two.”

“What?” she asked before making a face. “Oh, gross, Spike! He’s your father. He took me in and I’m not going to do anything with his son.”

“Too late,” he replied with a smirk.

“Spike, please,” she said with pleading eyes. “I’ve just uprooted my whole life, ergo vulnerability and…and bad kissing decisions.”

Spike glowered at the terminology she was using.

“Okay, but that's all that it was. You have to let it go.”

‘Even though that’s the last thing I want,’ Buffy thought with a sigh. She just couldn’t risk getting close to him. Staying closed off would keep her safe.

“Did it work?” he asked with a smirk.

“What?” she asked in confusion.

“You convince yourself?”

Spike watched as a sad look crossed Buffy’s face. “Please, stop,” she whispered.

“I’ll stop if you’ll at least consider that there’s something going on between us.”

“There was something going on between us, but that’s done.”

“Not good enough,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest as his eyes narrowed on her.

“Fine,” Buffy said, walking back up the stairs. “I’ll consider…uh oh.”

Spike frowned, following her. “What’s uh oh?”

Twisting the knob and throwing her shoulder against the door, she cringed when it didn’t budge. “I think we’re locked in.”

Spike moved past her, mimicking her actions and sighing when it refused to open. ‘Well, this should be an interesting night.’

* * * * *

Half an hour later, both Spike and Buffy were sitting side by side with their backs to the wall, each nursing their sore shoulders and laughing about it.

“You’d think we would have learned the first few times we ran into it,” Spike said with a chuckle, rolling his arm in a wide circle to try and ease the aching muscles.

“Especially me,” Buffy muttered, wincing as she ran her hand over her arm. “What was I thinking? If you couldn’t get it to open, what good would I do?”

Spike laughed, gently leaning over to playfully nudge against her, careful not to jar her shoulder anymore.

“How long before your dad realizes we didn’t come home?” she asked after a moment, looking over at him and seeing, for the first time, how close he was.

“Well…considering he never knew when I used to sneak in when I was a teenager, I’m guessing…tomorrow morning.”

“Wonderful,” she muttered, but her tone was counteracted with a smile.

“You seem a little happier than I would have thought,” Spike said, turning to face her and feeling short of breath when he noticed that they were separated by inches.

Briefly closing her eyes as her heart sped up, Buffy leaned forward and let her lips brush against his. It was something she needed to do. Sudden and impulsive, but something she knew she wouldn’t regret.

Slowly pulling back from the chaste kiss, Buffy gasped when Spike grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap. His fingers ran through her hair, guiding her lips back to his and holding her in place.

Buffy moaned, quickly deepening the kiss, her hands running through his hair, pulling him closer to her and grinding her hips against his. Spike broke away, gasping for air and trying to control himself, not knowing how far she wanted to take this.

“Buffy, we better stop.”

“Don’t want to stop,” she whispered, bringing their lips together again.

Spike’s last semblance of control snapped, whipping her shirt over her head and barely separating from her. Buffy felt a shred of self-consciousness make itself known when he quickly removed her bra, but it was short lived as she remembered he’d already seen her more naked than this. Feeling his hands moved to her breasts and gently caressing them, she felt short of breath as her body arched against his.

Needing more contact with him as she quickly unbuttoned his shirt, running her nails along the smooth muscles that were exposed. Spike nearly lost control when he felt her body press against his.

Breaking away from his lips, Buffy stood and pulled him up with her before shedding the rest of her clothes. Spike reached into his pocket and extracted his wallet when he felt her hand cover his.

“Are you safe?”

“Yeah,” he replied in a husky whisper.

She took the wallet and tossed it on the growing pile of clothes. “I’m on the pill,” she said, seconds before fusing her lips to his, her hands working on his belt and shoving his pants down his legs.

Spike barely had a chance to register what was happening as he lifted her in his arms and thrust inside of her in one smooth motion. Their lips separated as they looked at each other. Spike wanted to memorize everything about this moment, knowing that nothing else had ever or would ever feel this right.

Buffy obviously didn’t want to slow down as she frantically arched her body against his. “Let’s take it slow, luv,” he whispered, almost laughing at how absurd that sounded, considering they were already connected in the most intimate way possible.

“I-I don’t want to,” she whispered, urging him to move with her.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, trying to slow her down.

“Don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “It won’t bother me.”

Spike frowned but quickly lost his train of thought when she used her legs to rise up and sink back down on him.

‘No, no, no, this is wrong…no…you’re not supposed to enjoy this…you don’t deserve to have this,’ she thought, fighting the tears in her eyes.

Pinning her against the wall, Spike frantically pumped into her, nearly falling over the edge when he heard her moans of pleasure urging him to go faster and harder.

“Buffy, I don’t-”

“Please, Spike,” she begged, meeting each of his thrusts with bruising force.

Spike took a deep breath before slamming into her with more strength, feeling her inner muscles clench around him as she climaxed, screaming his name while her entire body froze in pleasure.

“God, you’re amazing,” he rasped, thrusting into her a few more times before his body tensed as he shook with his own orgasm.

Gasping for breath, Spike rested his head on her shoulder, feeling her heartbeat reverberating to him.

Pulling back, he felt his body nearly paralyze with panic when he saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. “Buffy, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

Shaking her head, Buffy tried to forget the memories that were wanting to resurface as she tried to get lost in Spike’s embrace. Burrowing closer to him and not letting him pull free, she sniffled before looking into his eyes. “Will you just kiss me?”

Spike frowned but let his lips brush against hers in a tender kiss, his hands running through her hair as he held her, trying to communicate everything that he was feeling. He knew there was something wrong, but he also had a feeling that it wasn’t his fault. Letting his tongue meet hers
in a gentle caress, he felt her relax in his arms. He decided that now wasn’t the time for a serious talk. Now it was time for comfort, and he was more than willing to give it to her.


Thanks so much to: PK, Cordykitten, Caitie, pj, willowmouse, Alicia, Rana, Franchesca, Huck, Laine, erika, Amanda, BuffyandSpikeForever & Katie for reviewing!

Chapter 6 – Never Better


Spike curled his body protectively around Buffy, watching her as she slept. A frown marred his features as he studied her. He had been all too happy when things had progressed between them, but he couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

Closing his eyes when he heard Buffy’s breathy moan as she cuddled closer to him, his arm tightened around her. He hated the idea of waking her up, but he was guessing they’d been asleep for several hours, and his father would probably be there in an hour or two.

“Buffy,” he whispered, smiling when she held him tighter. “Buffy, luv,” he said a little louder. “Rise and shine.”

A soft noise escaped her lips as she rolled away from him, her arm stretching above her head, and Spike smiled at the delicious view he was getting of her naked body. The smile soon faded as his brow furrowed. Slowly extending his hand to brush along her stomach, Spike gently traced over a faded scar, barely visible in the dim light.

“What’s this from, luv?”

“What?” Buffy asked, still half asleep, before she looked down at his hand. Spike saw her eyes widen slightly before she moved to sit up. Catching her arm as she tried to make her escape, Spike pulled her back down to his lap, looking at her in confusion.

“What's it from?”

“Um…bike accident when I was younger,” she said, avoiding her eyes, her words practically coming out as a question. ‘That’s what happened to regular kids, right?’ she asked herself.

“On your stomach?” he asked skeptically.

“Umm…yeah.”

Seeing the indecision on Spike’s face, she could practically hear the questions that he was about to ask. Thinking fast, Buffy moved to straddle his waist, pulling him close to her for a searing kiss. The hesitation in his response was starting to worry her when she felt his arms wrap around her waist in a tight hold before pulling back to look at her.

“You’re trying to distract me.”

“No, I’m not,” she said with an innocent expression. “There’s nothing to be distracting you from.”

“I think these would tell me differently, Buffy,” he said, tracing his hand over a few more pale scars that were barely visible on her skin.

“I told you, it happened when I was younger.”

Before Spike could say anymore, Buffy lifted herself and sunk down on his hard cock, arching her back into his body and smiling when she felt him tense beneath her.

“You’re trying to distract me,” he said again with a groan.

“Am not,” Buffy said with a small pout.

Without hesitating, Spike sat up, wrapping his arms around her and eliciting a gasp from her at the new position. He could feel Buffy begin moving faster, grinding her hips against his. The friction building between them was almost painful as she pushed harder against him.

“Slow down, luv,” he whispered, gripping her hips to try and still her movements.

“I can’t,” Buffy said in a breathless voice. “You feel too good, Spike.”

“You do too, baby, but-”

“Harder,” she gasped.

All thoughts left his brain at the simple command. His hands tightened on her hips, feeling the intensity of the moment wash over them as he forcefully pumped into her.

“Harder, Spike.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered, feeling himself spiraling out of control.

“What if I want you to hurt me?” she murmured, pressing her forehead against his.

Spike’s eyes flew open, wondering what she was asking him. “Buffy?”

“It’s alright, Spike,” she whispered, brushing her lips over his. “I can take whatever you give to me.”

Somewhere deep in the recesses of Spike’s mind, he knew that there was something wrong with those words, but being buried inside of the most amazing woman he’d ever been in contact with, was not the time to try and make his brain form a thought.

Flipping them over, he felt Buffy tense when she came in contact with the cool floor, but she eagerly matched his thrusts, spreading her legs wider to encourage him. Spike was panting with the new feeling as he pressed his head against her shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut.

Buffy gasped when his lips gently sucked at the soft skin of her throat, running lazy patterns along her neck. Something felt too tender about the moment, and Buffy felt herself clam up at the different emotions she was feeling.

Grabbing his hair, she pulled him away, smashing her lips to his in a frantic kiss. Breaking away from him, she smiled as he noticeably began to lose control

“So bloody tight, luv,” he rasped in a voice she barely recognized.

Spike wanted to be more cautious and tender with her, but Buffy was having none of it as her hips slammed against his with bruising force. Her moans seemed to drive him on, causing him to plunge into her, eagerly meeting her thrusts.

“Spike- yes!” Buffy screamed, gasping when their hips met and grinded together. Her hands clung to him, urging him on- willing him to hurt her.

Trying to slow down once more, Spike soon realized he was fighting a losing battle when Buffy raised her legs to give him better access to her body. Ramming into her, he felt her muscles contract around him in a stranglehold, triggering his own climax. Her screams of pleasure echoed in the open space.

After several long minutes, their hips continued to churn together, eliciting small gasps and moans from Buffy. He could feel himself harden inside of her again and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, running his hands through her hair in soothing motions.

Buffy felt the tender, slow pace of his thrusts and tensed up.

‘You don’t deserve this.’

The mantra seemed to run through her head as her body went rigid. She didn’t want love and tenderness. She wanted misery and pain.

She knew what that was. She knew how to survive it.

Spike felt the tension but misread the reason behind it.

“It’s alright, luv,” he whispered, trailing kisses along her jaw. “I’ve got you…won’t let go.”

Buffy closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. This wasn’t a situation she could control, and she didn’t want to lose herself in him. She wanted hard and violent, not soft and tender.

‘He deserves more than this,’ Buffy thought as Spike’s lips sought hers again.

Giving into the sensation of the kiss for a brief moment, Buffy lightly pushed against his chest, earning her a strange look.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, tilting his head in concern.

“I…I j-just think that we should get dressed.”

Spike looked at her in confusion before a smirk crossed his features. “Well, that’s one request I’ve never had in this situation.”

“I just think your dad could show up any minute,” she said weakly.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, reluctantly pulling out of her warmth and helping her to her feet.

Getting dressed in silence, he kept an eye on Buffy, seeing how closed off she appeared to be. Walking up behind her as she attempted to smooth her hair, Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, frowning when she immediately went rigid in his arms. Nuzzling her neck, he planted soft kisses along any exposed skin he could find, doing what he could to get her to relax.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking,” he whispered into her ear, smiling against her skin when he felt the shiver run through her body. “But I don’t want this to end.”

Buffy turned in his arms, her eyes wide as she stared at him. “I-I don’t either,” she mumbled, surprised at her words, since she was preparing herself for a completely different answer.

“Good to know,” he said with a smile, brushing his lips against hers.

“I don’t think we should tell your dad.”

Spike studied her for a moment, seeing how important it was to her. “Alright, luv,” he agreed with a nod. “It’ll be our little secret.”

Stealing another kiss, both jumped at the foreign sound of the door rattling.

“William? Buffy?”

“We’re down here,” Spike yelled, smoothing Buffy’s hair for her as she nervously fidgeted with her clothes.

“What happened?” Giles asked, earning a roll of the eyes from Spike.

“Let me ask you something, Da- how did you get down here?” he asked.

Giles looked around and then noticed the keys in his hand and smiled sheepishly. “I guess I should make sure the door is unlocked before I leave from now on. Are you two alright?”

Spike turned around under the pretense of grabbing his duster but secretly giving Buffy a sexy smirk. “Never better.”





Thanks so much to: PK, Franchesca, Ebontier, Nikilicious, starhawk, Amanda, Rana, Caitie, Cordykitten, willowmouse, Katie, pj, erika, Reciprocity, katj, Laine, BuffyandSpikeForever & beverly for reviewing!!

Chapter 7 – The One That Matters


Brushing a kiss to Buffy’s forehead, Spike smiled when she moaned in contentment and snuggled closer to him. He relished the feeling that she gave him when she was asleep in his arms. They had been together for over two weeks, and the only time he was able to show her any tenderness without her tensing up was when she was asleep. He’d tried to broach the topic several times, but she always shied away from it, changing the subject.

Spike had never felt this way about anyone, not even Drusilla, and the idea that the tiny blonde had evoked so many emotions in such a short amount of time was more than a little unnerving. He already knew he didn’t want to lose her, but he felt like he couldn’t hold onto her. Like a little more of her was slipping away everyday.

Pulling Buffy closer to his chest, Spike closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her hair, instantly feeling calm at the aroma of honeysuckle seemed to float around him. With a sigh, he brushed his lips against hers, wishing she would be more open with him. He had tried to get to know her over the past few weeks, but he still felt like he was on the outside looking in at what he couldn’t have. He had her and he knew it, but at the same time he felt like he was so close and didn’t have her. He felt like he was alone even when he was holding her.

Spike knew that her mother died when she was young, but she was reluctant to talk about it or anything that happened as a result. He had assumed she went to live with her father but didn’t push the subject.

Buffy sighed in her sleep, unconsciously snuggling closer to him, her body seeking the warmth and comfort that he provided.

‘If only she would do the same thing when she was awake,’ he thought, staring into her peaceful face.

All Spike wanted to do was make love to her, but she always seemed to evade his advances. The words ‘make love’ never even left her mouth. More often than not, it was ‘fuck’ or ‘screw’, which didn’t serve to settle any of Spike’s unease. He didn’t mind rough sex. Hell, he would bow down before her if she wanted him to. They had a raw, passionate, consuming relationship, but that didn’t sway his thoughts that he wanted to treat her the way she deserved to be treated, if she would only let him.

He knew that the secret of how to open her up was in her past- he just couldn’t seem to figure out how to unlock it.

Hearing a soft sigh, Spike smiled when he saw her eyes begin to sleepily blink awake as she graced him with a soft smile.

“Morning, beautiful,” he said, watching the blush rise to her cheeks.

“Morning,” she said in a soft voice, signaling she wasn’t completely awake. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” he murmured, kissing the skin below her ear and feeling her tense beneath him. With a sigh, Spike pulled away. “Talk to me,” he whispered, brushing the hair out of her face.

“About what?”

“You want to be with me, right?” he asked, a trace of William-like insecurity creeping into his voice.

Buffy giggled, looking at their intertwined bodies, lying intimately in her bed, the way they had been every night and morning for the last two weeks. “I think you could have chosen a better time to ask that than when I’m naked in your arms.”

“You know what I mean, Buffy,” Spike replied, his brow furrowed as he watched her carefully.

Suddenly realizing the seriousness of the conversation, Buffy pulled away from him, crawling out of bed and wrapping herself in a robe. She wanted to feel some kind of reassurance in the simple act of covering herself.

“What are you asking me, Spike?”

Rolling over, Spike stretched his arms and clasped them behind his head. “I’m trying to get a little insight,” he said with a serious expression, studying her carefully.

“Insight into what?” Buffy asked with insecurity heavy in her voice. “Me?”

“Of course you,” he said in a gentle tone.

Sighing and averting her eyes, Buffy walked over to the window. “What do you want to know?”

“Why don’t you let me touch you?” Spike asked, climbing out of bed and slipping on a pair of his sweatpants.

Buffy looked at him incredulously. “I just woke up in your arms after having sex with you for the better half of the night- I think that qualifies as touching.”

“Yeah?” Spike replied skeptically as he walked toward her. Pulling her close to his body he wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands tenderly caress her stomach and arching an eyebrow when she immediately tried to pull away. “Why?” he asked again.

“I don’t know,” Buffy replied, feeling guilty for the little white lie, but it didn’t stop her from continuing to back away from him. “I-I just don’t like it…please don’t push me on this.”

Taking a deep breath, Spike stepped toward her again, gently pulling her close in the way he knew that she liked. “How many men have you been with?”

Buffy tensed, practically jerking her body away from him as the past threatened to spill the memories that she wanted to bury. “Why?”

“I know you’re not a virgin, Buffy. I’m just wondering,” he said, trying to keep his tone light.

“Well, how many women have you been with?” she countered.

“Three,” Spike responded immediately, his eyes never leaving hers. “Four, counting you. Your turn.”

Swallowing and nervously wringing her hands together, Buffy avoided his strong gaze. “You’re the only one that mattered,” she murmured, knowing that she was laying a lot on the line, but it was the only answer that wanted to come out.

Spike felt his heart swell but frowned when he realized she’d avoided the question altogether. “Buffy-”

“Spike, just drop it, okay?” she said angrily, walking to the other side of the room, moving quickly before he pulled her back to him.

“Is the number so high you don’t want to tell me?” Spike asked, getting defensive at her angry tone. He didn’t care how many men she’d been with, but he did care that she didn’t want to be honest with him.

Feeling tears spring to her eyes, Buffy turned to look at him with a hurt expression. “That’s really not the issue,” she said softly, walking out the door.



Thanks so much to: Cordykitten, Franchesca, Reciprocity, Caitie, spikes_niblet, pj, BuffyandSpikeForever, willowmouse, Erika & Laine for reviewing!

Chapter 7 – Father Knows Best


Rupert Giles was not a stupid man. He graduated top of his class at Oxford and went on to become a successful businessman before entering semi-retirement and buying the Magic Box. He prided himself on being able to read into situations more than people would expect. It gave him a distinct advantage that so many underestimated.

So it did not go unnoticed when his son’s happiness practically radiated off the charts.

It also didn’t go unnoticed- the secret looks and touches that were exchanged between Buffy and William.

Most of all, it didn’t go unnoticed when the two began avoiding each other completely.

“How are you, son?” Giles asked one morning at breakfast, watching the exhausted young man get a strong cup of coffee and sit down across from him.

“Alright,” Spike muttered, grimacing at the taste of the bitter liquid but taking a large swallow anyway.

“Is there anything you would like to talk about?”

Spike shot his father a glare, narrowing his eyes slightly as he wondered what was going on in the older man’s head. “Nothing I can think of,” he replied skeptically.

“Alright,” Giles replied, turning his attention back to the newspaper in front of him. “But if you ever need to talk, you know you can…”

He trailed off when he saw his son instantly sit up straighter, his shoulders becoming rigid and his eyes trained on the doorway. Giles turned around in time to see Buffy walk through and pause when her eyes met Spike’s.

“Good morning, Buffy,” Giles said with a smile, pretending to be oblivious to the obvious tension that seemed to flow through the room when she entered.

“Morning, Giles,” she said with a soft smile, avoiding Spike’s eyes while she walked over to the refrigerator.

“Are you kids hungry?” he asked, looking back and forth between the two blondes. “I can whip us up a quick breakfast.”

“I’m fine,” Buffy said, closing the refrigerator door after pulling out a small orange juice bottle. “I’m not really that hungry,” she muttered, glancing at Spike before averting her eyes.

“You need to eat, Buffy,” Giles said, putting on his best ‘father’ voice. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

“Raincheck?” she replied, trying to keep her tone lighthearted. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Spike’s eyes seemed to follow the young woman throughout the room, his shoulders sagging when she walked away.

“You really should apologize,” Giles said with a disinterested look, sipping his tea and making sure to never let his eyes leave the newspaper.

“How did…apologize for what?” Spike asked skeptically, not wanting to let on more than he had to.

“Well, it’s obvious you’ve had an argument, and if you want to get back in her good graces, you may want to apologize.”

“And if it wasn’t my fault?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Giles replied, never looking up.

“I asked her a simple question, and she gave me the runaround.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“She’s the one that walked away!” Spike cried indignantly.

“Doesn’t matter,” Giles said, never once looking up as he sipped his tea.

Spike slouched into his chair, rolling his eyes when his father looked up to shoot him a glare for not sitting up straight. “How much do you know?”

“That you’re together or at least…you were.”

“How do you know that?” Spike asked, his brows knit together in confusion and frustration.

“Because the two of you were happy,” Giles said with a sigh, abandoning the paper. “It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. And judging by your attitude the past few days, something had to have happened for such a drastic change in both of you.”

Spike stared at his father for a long moment as he went back to the newspaper.

“The old man isn’t as blind as you thought, eh?”

Spike smirked, getting up from the table and clapping Giles on the shoulder as he passed. “That’s a matter of opinion, Da.”

* * * * *

Spike quietly walked through her bedroom door, smiling when he saw Buffy lying on her bed, her feet propped up on the headboard as she read a magazine. She couldn’t see him from the angle that she was laying, and Spike took a moment to enjoy watching her.

She was so relaxed, so at ease…so young.

Frowning at the last thought, Spike shook his head. He was only a few years older than her, and she was nineteen.

“We have to talk,” Spike said softly

Buffy practically leapt off the bed, spinning around to face him. “I really don't,” she said, assuming a defensive stance, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well, this isn't just about you,” he replied, pushing the door closed. “As much as you'd like it to be.”

“You spoke. I listened. Now leave.”

“I'm sorry,” he said with a soft sigh. “I shouldn’t have pushed you, but…damn it, Buffy, why couldn’t you just answer the question?”

“Because it’s none of your business, Spike,” she said tearfully. “Why do you want to know so badly?”

“Because I care about you.”

“Then please don’t ask me about…my past.”

Spike became more concerned when he heard those words, but he noticed she was slowly approaching him so he wisely kept his mouth shut, not wanting to scare her away.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Buffy wrapped her arms around his lean waist, giving him a soft smile when he pulled her closer to him. “If…if I know everything between us will be okay…I’ll tell you.”

“You don’t know if you can trust me?” Spike asked, trying to keep the accusation out of his voice.

“I just have some…issues. I need to tell you about them on my own terms.”

“Alright, luv,” he whispered. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

Finally relaxing in his arms, Buffy rested her head against his chest. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome, luv,” Spike said softly, hooking a finger under her chin and raising her eyes to his. “I didn’t mean to push you.”

“I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

Both closed their eyes when their lips hesitantly brushed together, each giving and taking what they needed.


Thanks so much to: Reciprocity, Cordykitten, Rana, phantomwriter, Caitie, Franchesca, pj, willowmouse, BuffyandSpikeForever, Amanda & Laine for reviewing!

Chapter 8 - Secrets & Lies


Buffy eagerly paced through the foyer, waiting on Spike to get home from work. It had been a week since Spike agreed to give her some time, and Giles had gone out of town for a short vacation. She had wanted to work that night, but he and Spike had both insisted that she had been working too much and needed to take the night off.

Hearing the car pull into the driveway, Buffy gave an excited little hop, throwing the door open. She gave Spike a bright smile when he practically ran toward her, picking her up and kicking the door shut as he fused his lips with hers.

“Missed you, baby,” he said in a husky whisper when they pulled away.

“Missed you, too,” Buffy replied, giggling as he carried her up the stairs. “I don’t like being in this big, lonely house all by myself.”

“Poor baby,” Spike said with a pout, smiling when it earned another giggle from Buffy, wishing he could hear that wonderful laugh all the time. “So what did you do to pass the time?”

“Oh, the usual,” Buffy said, tossing her hair over her shoulder as he reached the top of the stairs. “Made myself dinner, read a little bit, rented some porn. You know…your basic Saturday night.”

Barely able to keep a straight face as Spike’s eyes widened in shock, Buffy finally giggled. “I’m just kidding, Spike,” she said with an innocent expression. “I didn’t read anything.”

Spike finally realized she was stringing him along and freed one of his hands to begin mercilessly tickling her.

“Stop,” Buffy squealed, squirming around in his arms and laughing as she tried to break free.

Their eyes met and the mood instantly changed. Both felt short of breath as they looked at each other, seconds before Spike’s lips crashed down on hers with bruising force.

Pushing her toward her bedroom, his hands eagerly ran across the soft curves of her body. Shutting the door to her room, Buffy gasped when Spike pressed her against it and devoured her mouth with his. Her hands frantically moved to his shirt, ripping it apart and sending buttons flying in every direction.

Spike smirked, picking her up and pivoting on his heel to toss her on the bed. Her eyes widened when she saw him advancing on her like a predator before his body pinned her to the bed. She closed her eyes as images seemed to assault her from all directions, breaking through the carefully built walls that she had struggled to maintain.

* * * * *

“No!” Buffy screamed, trying to fight against the large man who easily pushed her down to the bed.

Frantically trying to get away, she managed to get to her feet but was easily restrained and thrown back onto the filthy mattress as he pulled off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans.

“Please, no,” she cried, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Not again. Stop!”

Every night. Every night he brutally raped her and there wasn’t a thing she could do to stop him.

* * * * *

Spike removed his belt, not knowing that the rigid way she was holding her body was out of terror and not anticipation.

Buffy heard the sound of the leather whizzing through the loops and felt as if she was choking as everything became too much to handle. She moved to sit up, but Spike held her in place, leaving soft kisses on her skin.

“No,” she murmured in an imperceptible voice that she couldn’t even hear.

Spike pushed her skirt over her hips, ripping the thong from her body and positioning himself at her entrance. Kissing along her collarbone and neck, he was barely inside of her when he heard a sob.

“No,” she said louder, causing Spike to tense and pull back to look at her.

“Buffy?”

Every feeling overwhelmed her as she remembered the past that she had tried so hard to suppress. “No!” she cried, not seeing Spike anymore. She could only see her so-called foster father on top of her. “Please don’t do this!” she sobbed. “Please, no! Not again!”

“Buffy!” Spike cried, trying to get her attention as he pulled out of her and rolled them, hoping that if he wasn’t crowding her, she would calm down. “Buffy, it’s me,” he said, running his hands through her hair, cupping her face in his hands and trying to get her to look at him. “It’s Spike,
luv…Buffy!”

“Please,” she whimpered, her vision becoming a little more clear as worried blue eyes looked back at her. “Spike?” she whispered in confusion as he briefly closed his eyes, feeling the relief wash over him.

“It’s me,” he said softly, looking into her tearful eyes and running his hands through her hair. “Did I hurt you?”

Sniffling as she shook her head, Buffy cuddled closer to him. “No…you didn’t hurt me.”

“Buffy, talk to me,” he murmured, his lips against her hair. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, fighting another rush of tears. “I never meant to…I’m so sorry.”

“Did someone else hurt you?” he asked, his entire body tensing as he waited for her answer.

Buffy took a deep, shaky breath. “I have a lot I should have told you.”

* * * * *

Spike swallowed the lump in his throat when Buffy finished telling him the last detail of the tortured existence that she had called her life before she had moved to Sunnydale.

The two lay side by side in the bed, their hands intertwined, both with tears streaming down their cheeks.

“Are you going to leave now?” Buffy asked, unable to look at him as she sat up, pulling her hand away from his as she waited for his answer.

Spike frowned, following her movements and tilting her head to look back at him. “Why would I leave you?” he asked in confusion.

Looking away and picking at the comforter, Buffy bit her bottom lip. “Why would someone like you want to be with someone as messed up as me?” she asked.

Spike took a deep breath, pulling her into a crushing embrace. “I’m not leaving,” he whispered, kissing any skin he could come in contact with. He paused when he saw a pale scar on her shoulder, letting his fingertips gently brush over it. “Is this from…”

“Door number two,” Buffy replied in a quiet voice. “Everyday for a year.”

Spike closed his eyes, suddenly having the urge to find his father and apologize for being such a smart-ass son the majority of the time.

“Maybe you should talk to someone,” he said softly, carefully broaching the subject.

Buffy pulled back to look at him with a confused expression on her pretty face. “I am talking to someone.”

“Someone who’s qualified to help,” Spike clarified, frowning when she pulled away from him.

“You think I need to see a shrink?”

“It might be the best thing to…Buffy!” he called after her as she jumped off the bed and slipped her shirt over her head.

“I’m not crazy,” she said, adjusting her shirt. Spike jumped off the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and preventing her from going anywhere.

“The thought never crossed my mind, luv,” he whispered, leaving soft kisses along her shoulder. “I just think you might need to talk to someone who can help you more than me.”

“I don’t need help, Spike,” she insisted, turning around in his arms.

Spike was about to protest when her lips met his in a gentle kiss, which quickly escalated in passion. Pushing back any doubts, he got lost in the tender caress of her lips against his and decided to do what she obviously wanted and drop the subject…for now.






Thanks so much to: Cordykitten, spuffette, Amanda, willowmouse, Franchesca, BuffyandSpikeForever, Caitie, pj, Laine, Beasleysmom, Spikes Slayer & spashley for reviewing!

Chapter 9 – No More Secrets


Spike slowly woke up the next morning to the feeling of soft kisses trailing along his chest.

“Buffy?” he asked in a groggy voice. Still trying to wake up, he looked down at the curtain of blonde hair that was falling on his torso and felt his heartbeat speed up as she traveled lower to kiss the ridged muscles of his abdomen. “Buffy, luv, what are you doing?”

Turning to look up at him with a soft smile, it quickly faded when Spike gently grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up his body to look her in the eyes.

“We don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” Buffy said quietly, avoiding his eyes.

“Hey,” Spike said with a gentle smile, turning her to look at him. “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t need to do anything to keep me here, do you understand?”

Swallowing nervously, she bit her lip as she nodded. “But what if I want to?”

Noticing her lack of clothing for the first time, it was Spike’s turn to gulp. “I don’t know,” he whispered, his body telling him to shut up and do what she wanted.

“Are you afraid to touch me now?” she asked with pain in her eyes.

“No,” Spike said, shaking his head. “I just don’t want to push you.”

Leaning forward to kiss him, Buffy’s fingers hooked in his belt loops and slowly dragged his pants down his legs, breaking away from his lips as she dropped them on the floor.

“Are you sure, luv?”

Buffy looked up at him with a soft smile, straddling his waist. “I’m sure,” she whispered, her lips meeting his as she positioned him at her entrance and moaned as he filled and stretched her.

Both looked into each other's eyes as they gasped for breath. Spike’s hands rested loosely on her thighs, feeling the muscles tense when she began moving. Her movements quickly sped up, causing Spike to tense beneath her.

“Buffy, slow down, pet.”

Not listening to him, she kept up her pace, watching as Spike’s jaw tensed. Not allowing her the control she was craving, he quickly flipped her onto the mattress, giving her a reassuring smile when her eyes widened.

Their lips met in a tender kiss, but Buffy soon felt like she was suffocating with Spike’s body holding her in place. Fighting the panic that was rapidly rising within her, she fought the natural reaction she had to push him away when he began moving with slow thrusts, obviously wanting the moment to be a slower pace.

“Spike, don’t,” she whispered, causing him to immediately stop and pull back to look at her.

Brushing the hair off her face, he kept eye contact with her as he spoke. “Listen to me,” he said in a soothing voice. “I will stop right now if you want me to. Say the word and I will- everything will be fine between us. But if you want to keep doing this, we are not doing the same thing we’ve done in the past.”

“What are you saying?” she whispered, her eyes holding a tinge of fear.

Pulling out slightly, only to push right back into her, Spike never broke eye contact. “I’m going to give you what you deserve.”

Gasping with another thrust, Buffy shook her head. “I-I don’t deserve this…please.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Spike asked, preparing to pull out of her.

“I don’t know,” she whispered, her mind telling her one thing and her body telling her another.

“Say the word and I will,” he said in reassurance, lowering his head to brush kisses along her throat as he slowly pulled out of her. “No more fear,” he whispered. “No more secrets.”

‘No more secrets…no more secrets…no more…’

“Stop,” Buffy said, closing her eyes as Spike immediately rolled away from her.

“Are you alright?”

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Buffy turned to him with watery eyes. “No more secrets?”

Sitting up, Spike looked at her for a long moment. “I’m not going to like this, am I?” he asked, his body tense at the tone of her voice.

“Probably not,” she said, biting her lip as she stood up from the bed.

Spike watched her slowly put her clothes on. His brow furrowed as he pulled his jeans on and walked around the bed to stand in front of her. Gently taking her by the shoulders, he looked into her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Breathing deeply, Buffy looked at him with watery eyes. “I wasn’t entirely honest with you…or your dad from the start.”

‘This doesn’t sound good,’ Spike thought, resisting the urge to sit on the edge of the bed, in preparation of what was to come.

“Alright,” he said slowly, silently urging her to continue.

“There’s really no easy way to say this, so I’ll just come out with it,” Buffy said, gently pulling away from him and taking a few steps back, unconsciously afraid of his reaction. Spike noticed and hated it, but he knew that she needed some space. “I’m not nineteen,” she said quickly, watching his reaction. “I’m seventeen.”

The slight tick of his jaw was his only reaction, and Buffy felt terror grip her body. Spike was a passionate man who never hid anything, and she was expecting a lot more than the blank stare she was getting.

“Say something,” she whispered, taking another step back.

Spike seemed to snap out of it, bringing his hand up to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes squeezed shut as if he was trying to alleviate some tension.

“What am I supposed to say, Buffy?” he asked quietly, not wanting to open his eyes and see the emotions on her face.

“I don’t know,” she whispered, taking one more step away from him and feeling her heartbeat speed up when her back hit the wall.

Hearing a soft thump, Spike opened his eyes, his expression softening when he noticed how far away she was. “Come here, baby,” he said softly, opening his arms and smiling when she visibly relaxed and crossed the room. He brushed a tender kiss on top of her head as she snuggled closer to him.

“I don’t know what to say,” he murmured into her hair, feeling her tense slightly but not trying to pull away. “I’m not happy you lied, but you told me the truth and…if we were in England, this wouldn’t be an issue…but we’re here and…”

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered fearfully. “You’re the only thing in my life that makes sense.”

“I know…I feel the same way. You’re not going to lose me, Buffy. I’m just not sure what to do now.”

“We could go to England,” Buffy said with a bright smile, pulling away to look at him.

Spike sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as he looked at her. He would give anything to keep that look on her face. To keep her from feeling anymore pain. “I don’t think we can do that, pet.”

Buffy pouted, earning a smile from Spike. “Will you consider it?” she asked hopefully.

Looking at her for a long moment, he felt the idea become more appealing the longer he thought about it. “Maybe,” he said, smiling as her face brightened even more before an idea hit him. “I’ll take you to England, but you have to do some things for me.”

“Like what?” Buffy asked, tilting her head to watch him.

“We’ll have to be honest with my dad,” he said sternly. “He already knows about…us, but I think he should know about your life before you came here.”

“I-I can’t,” Buffy said, shaking her head, already mentally shutting down.

“I can tell him, pet…I just think he needs to know.”

“Why?” she asked miserably.

‘Because I think it’s time Ripper comes out to play,’ he thought.

“I think he’ll be more open to the idea of me taking you out of the country,” he said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“What are the other things?” she asked, sulking in such a cute way that Spike’s smile brightened.

“Just one…you see a therapist.”

“Spike, we talked about this last night,” she said, already shaking her head. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

“I guess we’re staying here then.”

“That’s not fair,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“I know,” Spike whispered, pulling her closer to him. “I didn’t say it was fair, but it’s your choice.”



Thanks so much to: Franchesca, Cordykitten, Nikilicious, willowmouse, Caitie, Reciprocity, BuffyandSpikeForever, pj, spikes slayer, Laine, Amanda & Spashley for reviewing!

Chapter 10 - Celebration


Giles sat at the table, his hand rubbing his eyes as Spike finished talking.

“She’s seventeen,” he muttered, already feeling the headache forming as he looked over at his son for confirmation. “Her mother died and she…”

“Yeah,” Spike said softly.

“Where is she now?”

Taking a deep breath, Spike looked at his watch. “I finally got her to go to a therapist.”

“How on earth did you manage that?” Giles asked, a hint of a smile on his face as he thought of the headstrong young woman.

Spike stood up, pacing around the kitchen as he avoided his father’s gaze. “I, uh…I kind of told her I’d take her to England,” he muttered.

“You what?!”

‘Uh oh.’

“You heard me,” Spike said, turning to face Giles.

“William,” Giles said, standing up and trying to keep the anger out of his
voice. “You’ve only known this girl for a few weeks.”

Spike arched an eyebrow at his father. “What’s your point?”

“My point is…don’t you think you’re moving rather fast? This could simply be a rebound from Drusilla.”

“It’s not,” Spike insisted.

“You don’t know that and-”

“I love her, Da.”

Giles turned to face his son, his eyes widening. “What did you just say?”

“I said I love her,” Spike repeated. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone and…I just want to be with her.”

“Does she know?”

“If you mean- did I tell her? The answer would be ‘no’. I will, I just…I can’t lose her,” he trailed off in a whisper as he sat down.

Giles gritted his teeth, wanting to give his son the benefit of the doubt, but at the same time, the ‘protective father’ part of him was waiting with a lecture.

“Look,” Spike continued. “I’m going to need your help…over here, she’s still a minor and…”

“I understand,” Giles said with a resigned sigh. “I’ll help in anyway I can.”

* * * * *

Spike stood in the reception area of Dr. Wilkins’ office, trying to ignore his airhead of a secretary with the nameplate ‘Harmony’ sitting on her desk.

Pacing through the room, Spike was desperately wishing for a cigarette and regretting his ultimatum. Her first session was two hours long, and she insisted that it was something she needed to do alone.

Growing agitated, Spike was about to barge in the office when the door opened. A friendly older man with a kind face led Buffy out of the room. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and Spike felt his heart calling to her.

Looking up as Dr. Wilkins led her through the door, her eyes connected with Spike’s, and she immediately flew across the room, into his waiting arms.

Spike closed his eyes, letting his head drop to her shoulder as his hold tightened. “You okay, baby?”

Buffy sniffled before pulling back and nodding. “Yeah,” she whispered in a choked voice.

Spike looked over her shoulder, seeing the therapist standing there. Gently extracting himself from Buffy’s arms, he kept a firm hold on her hand as he offered the man his other one. “Thanks for taking care of my girl, Doc.”

“My pleasure,” Wilkins said, giving Buffy a reassuring smile as he shook Spike’s hand. “It’s nice to know she has someone. Miss Summers, I’ll see you later this week.”

Buffy nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Wilkins.”

As the therapist walked away, Buffy folded herself into Spike’s embrace again.

“You okay, pet?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, feeling like it was true for the first time in years. “Or at least…I think I will be.”

“Let’s get you home, okay?”

Buffy nodded, snuggling closer to him as he led her out of the office.

“Spike,” she said in a soft voice. “Thank you for doing this.”

Glancing down at her, his arm tightened in a comforting gesture. “You did it, Goldilocks. I just gave you a push in the right direction.”

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered. “But I needed that push.”

Staying quiet, Spike brushed a kiss on top of her head, trying to convey everything that went unsaid.

* * * * *

“Dad,” Spike greeted, walking into the living room later that night.

“How is she?” Giles asked.

“She’s sleeping,” he replied, sitting down in a nearby chair and watching his father closely.

“That’s good,” Giles said with a nod. “I imagine she needs a lot of rest.”

“Yeah,” Spike agreed in a soft voice.

“Do you remember Ethan Rayne?” Giles asked, pouring himself a drink as he changed the subject.

“Vaguely,” Spike replied. “I remember him well enough to know that he was a right bastard.”

“Yes,” Giles said with a Ripper-like smile. “Well, he’s owed me quite a few favors over the years, and I decided to collect on them tonight.”

“Meaning?”

“I thought it would be in his best interest to take a little trip tonight. So, I sent him to ‘deal with’ the problem Buffy mentioned.”

A devilish smile crossed Spike’s face as he leaned back in his chair. “And?”

“Let’s just say- ‘the problem’ won’t be physically capable of harming young women anymore…in fact, he won’t be physically capable of doing a lot of things anymore. Would you like a drink?”

“Are we celebrating?” Spike asked with a smile.

“I think the occasion calls for it.”

* * * * *

An hour later, Spike crawled back into bed with Buffy, pulling her against his chest.

“Where’d you go?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

“I had to talk to my dad, pet. Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay,” she murmured, already falling asleep again.

“Buffy?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered. Spike smiled as she fell asleep, her words drifting to him as the most natural response that he’d ever heard.




Thanks so much to: Caitie, Reciprocity, Franchesca, Cordykitten, Amanda, Laine, BuffyandSpikeForever, & willowmouse for reviewing!

Chapter 11 – Forever Love


6 Months Later


“Why do I get the feeling that I’m going to be carting those all over London?” Spike asked with a slight smile as Buffy continued to pack yet another suitcase. It was amazing the things she had acquired since moving in with Giles.

“You’re the guy…it’s kind of in your job description,” she said with a smile.

Falling down on the bed, Spike rested his hands on his stomach as he continued to watch her pack. “Can I request a change of career?”

“Hey!” she cried indignantly. “I resent that.”

Catching her wrist before she could move away, Spike tugged on her, smiling when she fell across his chest with a surprised huff.

“We’re really going, aren’t we?” she asked with an excited smile, letting her hand trace patterns over his muscles.

“If that’s still what you want,” Spike replied, running his hands up and down her arms. “You’ll be eighteen in a few months, and it’s not like we’ve done anything illegal since you started with Dr. Wilkins.”

“That was your choice,” she said with a pout. “I was willing to break the law every night.”

Chuckling at her protruding lip, Spike gently ran his finger across it, watching as her eyes lit up.

“We’re not leaving for a while,” he said softly. “If you want to stay here and live in Sunnydale, that’s fine with me, pet.”

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’m really going to miss your dad, but…I just want a fresh start, you know?”

“I know,” he murmured, pulling her to him for a warm hug and closing his eyes as he inhaled the sweet aroma of her hair. “You’ll get a fresh start…we both will.”

“Can I ask you to do something for me?” she asked, pulling back and looking into his eyes, smiling when she saw the love shining through.

“Anything,” he replied, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Can we say goodbye to this room?”

Furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at her, Spike tilted his head in confusion, his eyes widening when she giggled.

“Twenty-four hours away from getting to the promised land, and you want me to break the law and risk getting arrested before we go,” he said with a smirk.

“Come on,” Buffy teased, dragging a fingernail down the middle of his shirt. “You love the risk. I know you- you get off on it.”

“No, that would be you,” he replied with an evil glint in his eyes.

“You never answered my question,” she said after a moment.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve been sure for months. You’re the one with all the willpower, mister. Make a girl feel unwanted.”

Flipping them over on the bed, Spike gently kissed along her neck, down to her shoulder. “Trust me, Goldilocks, you are anything but unwanted.”

Chuckling when Buffy grabbed his arms and pulled him back up to face her, his eyes lit up when he saw the bright smile on her face as she peppered kisses along his neck.

“I could get used to this,” he said, briefly closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her soft lips caressing his skin. “And how do I keep this smile permanently on your face?” he asked after a moment, watching her pull back to look at him.

“Make love to me,” she whispered, causing Spike’s breath to catch in his throat at the soft words.

Trying to control the trembling in his body, Spike’s lips met hers in a tender kiss, gently running along her bottom lip and moaning when he felt her tongue stroke against his. It had been six months since they had been intimate with each other, and although Spike never pushed her, he definitely wasn’t strong enough to deny her either. Not when they were in such an intimate position and definitely not when she’d actually used the term ‘make love’. That had never been spoken and he wasn’t going to pass this by. It had been hard enough sharing a bed every night with only the occasional touches and kisses shared- his strength was rapidly dwindling.

Their lips never separated as they slowly undressed each other. Spike smiled at how relaxed Buffy was. “If you want to wait, Buffy, it’s fine with me,” he said in a soft voice, not wanting her to feel pressured if she was having second thoughts.

“I don’t,” she replied, looking up at him with love shining in her eyes. Slowly tracing the curves and contours of his face, she pulled him down to her for a tender kiss. “I’m ready,” she whispered, parting her thighs even more and moaning as he slowly slid into her.

Spike stopped, panting for air when he was fully sheathed inside of her. This was the first time he was actually able to take his time, and the sensations she was causing were incredible. Her warmth seemed to spread through his body, and he made a constant effort not to thrust into her, wanting to keep the gentle pace this time.

Buffy’s nails dragged along his back as muffled pants and gasps escaped her lips. Fusing his mouth to hers in a long kiss, Spike began to move with long strokes.

Pulling back after a moment, their foreheads pressed together, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. He gave her a soft smile when Buffy eagerly met his thrusts with her own.

“I love you,” he whispered, never breaking their eye contact.

Buffy slowly reached up to cup his face in her hands, tears glistening in her eyes. “I love you, too,” she whispered, pulling him toward her for another kiss.

Letting his lips play on hers for a moment, he began to slowly ghost his hand along her body, barely touching her and sending chills racing through both of them. Reaching her hip, Spike slipped his hand in between them, watching as her eyes widened and she began moaning in need.

“Oh, God,” she whispered, clutching at his shoulders as if he was a lifeline.

Their hips met and separated, creating more friction with each touch. She whimpered when Spike’s hand abandoned her, only to hold onto her thighs. Still keeping the pace moderately slow, he began putting more pressure and force behind his thrusts. His breathing sped up as they grinded their bodies together.

“You’re incredible,” he whispered.

“Spike,” she whimpered. “I need more…I-I want…”

Moving together at a faster pace, he felt her muscles clenching him in anticipation. Bracing her feet against the mattress, Buffy arched into him, seeing her release.

“Oh, God, Spike- don’t stop!” she screamed. “Don’t stop…never stop…”

She trailed off with a scream, feeling him follow her over the edge. Both lay on the bed panting, their bodies still joined and occasionally still seeking the friction the other provided.

“I love you so much,” Buffy whispered, letting her hand play with the soft hairs at the base of his neck.

“I love you,” he whispered, looking into her eyes and smiling at the openness and warmth they held.

“Don’t ever stop, okay?” she asked with a playful smile.

“I promise. We’re just getting started.”



THE END





Thanks so much to: Nic, BuffyandSpikeForever, Reciprocity, Caitie, spuffette, Franchesca, willowmouse, spikes slayer, Amanda, Cordykitten, Spashley & phantomwriter for reviewing!