1
The Mansion stood tall and empty, giving an air of foreboding. Buffy rubbed her shoulders nervously. She was still unsure about the plan her and Spike had hatched to stop the awakening of Acathla. She sighed, glancing at him. Spike, the pain in her ass, had approached her with a deal she couldn’t pass up. He would her stop Angeles’s apocalypse as long as she let him escape Sunnydale with his ho-bag girlfriend in tow, never to return to her town again. Of course, she had reservations. After all, she was making a deal with the devil here, but she could see no other way. Angelus had to be stopped somehow, and Spike’s offer was the best way to do it.
At least this deal meant that her friends were somewhat safe. Thanks to the peroxide pest, Xander and Willow never had to face off with Angelus…at least not yet anyway.
Angelus. She closed her eyes against the ache the name caused her. He was the monster with the face of the man she had loved. She knew that Angel was gone forever now…but see Angelus…witnessing just how evil he really was…knowing what was hidden inside the man she had spent so much time with and gave her virginity to…it broke her heart.
“Ready Slayer?” Spike asked, stomping out his cigarette, unaware of his reluctant companion’s inner turmoil. “Remember, we have to be fast about this. The Poof and Dru will be back from their hunting soon. I rather that big rock in there be smashed to tiny bits by then,” Spike took another draw off the cigarette, ignoring the disgusted scrawl sent his way.
“Do you have to do that?” Buffy frowned. Smoking was so disgusting. She wished Spike would wait until after their mission to light up. There was nothing she hated more then second hand smoke…wait. She took that back. She hated him and creatures like him! All except for…no. She couldn’t think of Angel now…she couldn’t think of him ever again. Angel was dead. The creature in his place was just a distant relative that she was going to have to kill in the not so distant future.
“It calms my nerves,” was his flat reply. He didn’t even bother to look at her.
Buffy just rolled her eyes. As if she cared about his nerves. “Are there anyone else in there?”
“Nope. Just that idiot minion Angelus has guarding the thing, but he’s easy pickings. I’m all ready when you are pet.”
Buffy tightened her hold on her stake, prepared to follow Spike inside. She may be working with Spike, but that didn’t mean that she trusted him. One false move on his part and he was dust. She would just have to find another way to stop Angelus. “Ok. Let’s get this over with.”
The mansion was indeed deserted, no minions in sight. How unwise of Angelus. His arrogance had indeed reached new heights. Keeping her slayer senses on alert, Buffy followed Spike into a larger room where Acathla was in the cent of the floor with a single vampire sleeping up against it, unaware of the uninvited guest.
“Like I said, love. Bloody idiot,” Spike snorted. This was going to be too easy. He made a move to decapitate the wanker when he remembered that he wasn’t alone. He moved aside to make room for the slayer. Perhaps she wanted the honors. “Sorry. Did you want a go?”
“God, just kill him already. We don’t have time for this,” Buffy rolled her eyes, hiding her amusement at Spike’s show of chivalry. It wouldn’t do for him to know that she found him funny at times.
“As you bloody well wish,” Spike grabbed the vampire’s head and gave it a good twist.
Buffy coughed as vamp dust drifted into her nose. Ugh, she hated what that happened. She always choked on the dusty remains. “Gross.”
“Come on, love. Let’s get the sodding deed over with. The sooner this is done, the sooner Dru and I can blow this bloody town,” Spike took hold of the statues head.
“Amen,” Buffy agreed, going for the statue’s feet. Spike wasn’t the only one ready for this Acathla threat to end. The sooner the statue was gone, the safer they all would be. No doubt about that.
~*~
So. That was that. Acathla was now nothing more then a pile of rocks sinking down to the depths of the ocean, witnessed only by one slayer and one vampire. Another apocalypse had been prevented and Buffy’s friends were safe.
Buffy looked at Spike and not for the first time was astounded by how good-looking he really was…and the accent…if only he wasn’t a vampire, and a soulless one at that. With Angel gone, she wouldn’t have minded getting to know him better.
“So you’re leaving tonight…right?” She asked, feeling the need to remind him of his promise and not really sure how she felt about a Spikeless Sunnydale. She had to admit that he kept things interesting.
Spike looked at her, an amused twinkle in his eye. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think the Slayer didn’t want him to go after all. “That’s the plan, love. I’m taking Dru and blowing this sodding pop stand. I can’t guarantee Angelus’s departure…”
“That’s ok. I can handle Angelus. I just want Drusilla gone. I don’t what to have her to deal with along with him,” she winced at her tone. She didn’t mean to sound so harsh. She didn’t like Spike, but without his help, stopping Acathla’s activation would have been a lot harder then it was. “Listen…don’t let this go to your head or anything, because I still hate you, but thanks. You’ve probably saved me a whole lot of trouble.”
He shrugged, not bothering to meet her eyes. He searched for something smart ass to say, but strangely nothing came to him. “Don’t mention it, slayer. If you need help again…”
“I won’t call you,” She smiled, not resisting the amusement she felt. Sometimes you just had to laugh.
“Yeah. Well I better go collect Dru,” Spike shrugged, frowning at the urge to stay. There was something about this slayer that drew him to her. He didn’t know what it was, but hopefully some distance would make it disappear. “Good-bye Slayer.”
She blinked as Spike was suddenly gone. He was off to collect his ho-bag girlfriend and leave her and Sunnydale in peace. Buffy frowned at the sudden sadness she felt over his departure. This should be a moment of relief for her. Acathla was gone and so were two master vampire. If Spike kept his word, she’d never have to see him, nor Drusilla again.
She should be happy, not suddenly missing the peroxide vamp. This was so not of the good. Maybe she just needed some worry-free down time with Willow and Xander. That always seemed to cheer her up. She took one more look at the dark ocean, before heading back to town. Spike and all things concerning him were pushed to the back of her mind. She saved the world. It was time to party.

2
One month later…
Buffy fidgeted nervously under the steady gaze of her mother. It’s been two weeks and three days since Joyce had found out that her daughter was a vampire slayer. How she found out was simple, really. Buffy had once again climbed out of her window for her nightly patrol. Joyce had wanted to ask Buffy a question, just to find her daughter’s room empty. Angry, she went out looking for her. Unfortunately a vampire chose that moment to attack. Lucky for Joyce, Buffy was on her way home. It was a long fight, but Buffy had the upper hand and staked the vampire as soon as she had an opening, leaving Joyce with a thousand questions like where did her daughter learn martial arts and why was she so strong?
At first, Joyce was angry that this secret had been kept from her since her daughter was sixteen, but she was getting used to the idea that her little girl was a superhero and that destiny came first. She just wished things could be different for Buffy. She wished that her girl could go back to being a normal girl again.
“Mom, what is it?” Buffy turned, becoming irritated by her mother’s silent staring. It was really beginning to wig her out.
“Oh nothing. I was just wondering if Mr. Giles would object to a trip to Europe.”
Buffy’s eyes widened in shock. Giles and her mom? In Europe? Together? Can you say ewww? They were too old for that type of thing. Besides, Giles was still mourning Jenny. It was too soon to go flying off to a foreign country with a woman he barely knew.
“Mom! He’s my watcher, not to mention he hadn’t gotten over Miss. Calendar’s death and…you barely know him! No! You can’t go to Europe with him!”
Joyce’s laughter filled the room. Once again her daughter had jumped to conclusions. “Buffy, honey. Calm down. I wasn’t talking about taking Mr. Giles. I was talking about you. Would Mr. Giles mind if I take you to Europe? The gallery has a trip coming up and I thought it’d be nice to take my daughter who had always dreamed of going.”
“Oh,” Buffy blushed, embarrassed by the outburst. She was always doing that. Jumping to conclusions. She just wanted the earth to swallow her up right then. Relief filled her as she noticed the darkening sky outside. It was time for patrol Thank TPTB for small favors. “I’ll ask him tomorrow. He’ll probably say no, with Angelus still on the loose…,” Buffy sighed, readying herself for the disappointment. Giles would never let her leave Sunnydale, not with a master vampire terrorizing the town. It was best to not even hope for a yes.
“Well, maybe he’ll surprise you,” Joyce smiled, kissing her daughter’s forehead. “Better yet, I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him that there’s no choice in the matter.”
Buffy just smiled and grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair it was hanging from. Maybe there was some hope after all. After all, Giles would never go against her mother. “He might listen to you. Well, gotta go. Patrol awaits.”
“Be careful, sweetie. I know that you can take care of yourself, but I can’t keep from worrying.”
“I will mom. I’ll be home soon,” Buffy hugged her mother one last time before walking out the door, weapons in hand. Another night of vamp staking had begun.
~*~
Spike frowned as he watched Drusilla drape her pale arms over Angelus’s leather clad shoulder, a flirtatious twinkle in her obsidian eyes. He looked away, remembering that he used to be the owner of that lust-filled gaze…she had once been his…but now…she barely even looked at him.
A month ago…when he had returned from helping the sodding slayer, Spike came back to inform his dark princess that they were leaving, but what he had found had shattered his heart to pieces that he feared could never be put back together. Angelus had been waiting for him and had the sodding gall to inform him that he and Dru had mated. They had claimed each other and he wasn’t willing to share his mate. Drusilla was moving out of Spike bed and into Angelus’s. Permanently.
It’s been a long month full of avoiding Angelus and his former lov er and staying out of sight of the slayer. The bloody bint may get the idea that he had gone back on his promise to leave Sunnydale with Dru in toll and stake him. Not that he was scared of her. Hell no. He just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to fight her yet.
“We’re going hunting, boy. Are you joining us, or will this be another night of moping? I’d think you’d be happy with your legs working an all?” Angelus loomed over Spike, his eyes glinting with malicious glee as he pulled Dru to him in a tight embrace. It was an undeniable fact that Angelus enjoyed rubbing his claim on Dru in the younger vampire’s face. The boy needed to be taken down a peg or two. Stealing Drusilla’s affections was just the way to do it.
Spike only shrugged as he got to his feet, ignoring the way Dru pressed her body against her sire’s. Looking at her only reminded him of all he had lost and he could do without those type of memories at the moment. “Might as well. Nothing else to do in this sodding town.
Pushing back his rage, Spike followed the laughing couple ot into the night, sick of watching them and tired of hiding out from a brassed slayer. Heck, he hoped he did run into the bint. End this bloody nightmare once and for all.
~*~
The night was definitely on the slow side. One of the slowest Buffy had ever experienced in her career as the slayer. Usually there would be some kind of vamp activity going on, even if it was only a fledgling rising fresh from it’s grave; but tonight, there wasn’t a vamp in sight.
“Come out, come out wherever you are,” Buffy sighed. Needless to say, bored now. Nothing to do but keep waiting for vampires that just weren’t going to show up.
Well…since the forces of darkness seem to have taken a night off, so will she. There was no use in patrolling when there was nothing to slay. Maybe she could gather Willow and Xander and head for The Bronze. Yeah, that’s what she’ll do. A night of fun was exactly the thing a bored slayer needed.
All thoughts of fun fled Buffy’s mind when something did show up. A huge green demon with huge claws was trashing a crypt. The night had just gotten a little more interesting. She was going to get some slayage in after all.
“Hey!” Buffy approached the demon, slipping fully into slayer mode. “Someone paid good money for that! I suggest that you stop right now or I’m going to kill you…you know…forget that…I’ll just kill you anyway. Save everyone a world of trouble,” Buffy shrugged, going into a roundhouse kick, but to her surprise, the demon grabbed her foot and twisted her ankle, sending Buffy to the ground. “Ow. No fair. You are so going to pay for that.”
Buffy began to pick herself off the ground, steely determination burned in her gaze. She was going to beat this thing to a bloody pulp. No way was she going to let this weird…thing win. She was on her feet, just for the demon to plunge it’s claws deep into her abdomen. She didn’t bother repressing the scream that ripped through her as pain flowed through her body. Tears fell as she stared down at the claw retracting from the wound and blood spilled onto the crushed grass below.
This was it. The end of the road. She was going to die and this time no amount of CPR was going to bring her back. Another slayer, dead. Another one called. The saddest thing of all was that she hadn’t gotten to say goodbye. Her mother, Giles, and her friends…they will bury her and then make room for another slayer to take her place. God! She hated this! She was nowhere near ready to die. More tears fell as the demon let her body fall to the cold ground and ran off into the darkness, beyond caring that it had just achieved what all vampires strived for. It had just killed a slayer.
~*~
Bloody bint! That was the one constant thought running through Spike’s mind as he headed back to the lair he shared with Angelus and Drusilla. To say that the night was a sodding mistake was an understatement. For the last two hours, Spike watched the love of his unlife and the man he hated more then anything hang all over each other as they hunted and killed. He had once thought that nothing could come between himself and his dark princess; But of course, he hadn’t been counting on Angelus’s reappearance and Drusilla’s desire to be her sire’s true mate. Of course, he should have known. How many times had he brought up the mating ritual, just to have her bloody refuse?
Spike didn’t bother to repress the growl that escaped him as he thought about all he had endured for his dark princess. Escaping an angry mob, facing off with the slayer in order to restore her strength…yet it was Angelus she had chosen. All Spike had ever done was bullocks to her. It was no fucking fair!
He stopped in midstride as his foot hit something soft and silent. He vamped out at the smell of fresh blood. A slight groan drew his attention to the ground, where Buffy laid bleeding to death.
Bloody hell! The slayer! She was just laying there at his feet, her life blood flowing out of her. Now he knew that life was unfair! He was supposed to be the one that killed the slayer! He had wanted to be the one that spilt her blood onto the cold ground and give her the death worthy of a slayer; but no! Something else had come along and stole his kill. The lousy git didn’t even kill her properly. The slowing beat of her heart was proof of that.
“Spike?” Buffy managed to move her head to look up at the shadow that loomed above her.
She wasn’t gone, but she was fading fast. He could hear the weakening beat of her heart and the shallow rasp of her breath. The girl will most likely be dead within the hour. Maybe even less then that.
“Why look at what we have here,” he knelt next to her, inhaling the delicious scent of slayer blood. He was so tempted to taste her, maybe even lay claim to the kill, but then again, who would he be impressing? Not Dru. That was for bloody sure. “Look like something had itself a big bite of slayer.”
“You…lied…to…me,” Buffy forced the words out of her mouth as it became increasingly hard to breathe. She stared at him in bewilderment. She had been so sure that Spike had kept his word. There had been no sign of him for over a month. Now to see him gloating over her death…it was all too much to comprehend. “You…you said that you’d leave with Dru…silla.”
Spike snorted as he got to his feet and began to pace as he thought of his love for Dru and how she had allowed that wanker of a sire back into her life and bed. He opened his mouth to say something rather snaky when Drusilla’s burst of playful laughter reached him through the night air.
This is all your fault, you know! Couldn’t keep them legs shut could you?! You just had to go sleep with the bastard and bring him back into our lives! Reeking havoc…talking what’s mine…”
Buffy frowned, trying to ignore the pain that was swallowing her whole. She wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer. Hopefully, listening to this clearly deranged vampire will take her mind off her hopeless situation. Maybe she could just silently fade away, while Spike stood there, ranting on about something she didn’t really care about. “What…are you…talking about?”
“Drusilla and that bloody ex of yours, love. They’ve mated. It was that night you and I smashed that damn statue. She was mine! We were going to be forever, Dru and I! Then that bloody wanker came back and all we had was forgotten. She loves her bloody daddy now. It’s not fair, I tell you. It was I who saved her from Prague. I was the one that restored her! Not that Ponce! If only…if only I could take something away from him.”
A small groan came from Buffy as her pain worsened. Spike’s frown turned thoughtful as an idea hit him. Buffy was an obsession for Angelus. No one was to kill her except for the great poof. Well, obviously that plan was ruined…but what if he took the slayer away on a whole different level? What if he turned her? Oh wouldn’t Peaches be furious! Ha! She’d make a right pretty vamp, too. Of course, being the slayer, she’ll keep the soul, but she’d be the strongest vampire there ever was and she’d be all his. The wanker would never be able to take her away. Not like he had Dru.
“Hate to tell you this, pet. You are not going to die tonight,” he knelt next to the dying slayer, pushing a stray lock out of her eyes.
Buffy’s eyes widened in alarm as she realized what Spike was planning to do. He was going to turn her into the very thing she hunted. She looked at him with pleading eyes. She didn’t want this. She just wanted to go home and go one with her human life. Go to school, be with her friends. Heck, forget all about the slaying. She quit. All she wanted was to live out her life as a human girl, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen. She was going to be like Spike. A creature of the night with no real love anywhere in her body. She had to stop this somehow. She had to fight.
“No Spike…let me die…please…don’t…”
Her protests were ignored as Spike pulled her against his body and sank his fangs into her neck. She tried to push him away, but she had no more strength left. She was helpless.
Spike didn’t have long to wait for her heart to slow, since she had lost so much blood already. He pulled himself away from her throat and used his fangs to slice his own wrist. It was time for the final step. Gently he brought his bleeding wrist to Buffy’s mouth. She had tried to resist, but it was no use. Her survival instinct kicked in and she was sipping away at his wrist. Buffy felt her body chemistry change as she drank the powerful, cool substance. As unconsciousness took her, Buffy knew that her life was by all means over.

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for their wonderful
reviews.  I'm glad this story is getting such a great reception and I hope
that everyone keeps enjoying it:) 

 

3
The lair was deserted when Spike arrived with Buffy’s dead weight draped over his arms. Angelus and Dru must still be out, hunting. It was just as well. Their absence gave Spike mose time to hide the slayer with the elder vampires away and no minions to tattle on him.
Not bothering to stop, Spike entered the chambers that he now or rather used to have to himself since Drusilla’s mating with Angelus, and laid the slayer among the satin pillows. He smirked in satisfaction. His nights of sleeping alone ware officially over. His pretty little slayer was a loyal chit. Angelus won’t be able to touch her with a sodding ten foot pole. Spike groaned as the crouch of his jeans tightened as he thought of all the things he and his child would do together. Ah, they’ll paint the bloody town red, starting with the death of that pain in his ass Angelus. Then there would be Dru, crawling back to him, begging for his forgiveness and the return to her place by his side that she had so quickly vacated. Of course, he’ll reject her. He was a one woman vamp, after all and the slayer was a right catch. Oh yeah. It was going to be perfect.
“You and me, baby,” Spike sit at the edge of the bed, gently touching the girl’s golden tresses. “You and me, against the bloody world.”
~*~
Drusilla’s body pressed against Angelus’s with giddy desire as they returned to the lair. The night had been one full of sex and blood and it wasn’t over yet. He planned to pound into his insane childe/mate until the town rang with her voice shrieking his name.
“To my chamber with ya, wench,” he grabbed her roughly. He was pushing her into the chambers they shared when she erupted in painful moans and bent over as she was over come by one of her visions.
“What is it Dru? What do you see?” Angelus asked, his voice full of wonder and a touch of fear. Dru’s visions were always cryptic, yet they were always true. Whether they were good or bad…well that was a matter of opinion.
‘Mmmm…Sweet William has gotten himself a new playmate…a pretty little dolly…mmmm….it’s dark where she is…like the slayer…”
“So Spike turned someone did he? Well, introductions are sure to be in order, but for now let’s leave them. I have more to show my sweet girl,” Angel continued his ministrations, ignoring Dru’s giggles. He wasn’t the least bit curious about who Spike’s new childe could be. Was probably just another minion that he would have dust by morning. No need for concern, really.
~*~
Joyce Summers again checked her watch and cursed the hour. Buffy was usually back by now. Bright, vibrant, and in need of a shower; but she wasn’t back. In fact, she was four hours late! She had never been gone for so long before. What if something had happened and she met the same fate as all the slayers before her? What if her daughter was hurt and bleeding somewhere?
Trying to calm her own nerves, Joyce picked up the phone and dialed Giles. He would know how to find Buffy. After all, he almost always did. Hopefully the watcher would know where Buffy was and send her home safe and sound. Alive to fight another night.
Giles picked up on the second ring. His voice was tired and strained. He had been up a while, continuing his research on Angelus and how to best beat the monster that used to be the man his slayer had once loved. He researching nonstop since Jenny’s death, but like all other research sessions, there was nothing. “Rupert Giles.”
“Yes, Mr. Giles. This is Joyce…Buffy’s mother. Um…Buffy hasn’t returned home from patrol yet and she always home at this time. I was wondering if maybe you’ve seen her and can send her home?”
Giles cleared his throat as worry rose into his chest. In his mind, he saw Buffy facing off against Angelus, completely unprepared, and then he saw Angelus twist his slayer’s neck and watched as her lifeless body fell to the ground. Another woman he loved, killed by Angelus’s hand. He closed his eyes and forced the image away. It wouldn’t do to imagine such things while speaking the girl’s mother. Buffy was fine. She probably stopped off at Willows or had to fight a big demon, making her late in returning home.
“She’s not here, Joyce. Perhaps she’s at Willows. I know the two girls are close. I’m sure Buffy will be home soon.”
Joyce’s frown was evident in her voice. “Oh. Are you sure she’s ok?”
“Listen, give her another hour. If she’s not back by then…I’ll go out looking for her myself,” Giles placed the freshly cleaned glasses on the bridge of his nose, forcing the confidence he didn’t feel into his voice. “Trust me Joyce. I’ll get your daughter home.”
She couldn’t help the smile. Mr. Giles sounded so confident, as well he should be. After all, if anyone knew her daughter better then she did, it would be the watcher. “Ok. One more hour. Thank you, Rupert. Hearing your so confident…it’s what I need to hear.”
“Anytime Joyce. Do try to rest. Call me if Buffy fails to return.”
“I will,” Joyce smiled, before setting the phone back into it’s stand. It sure was nice to know that she had a partner in worrying about her daughter. She couldn’t pick a better watcher for her daughter if she tried.

A/N: Thank you to everyone for the wonderful reviews:) They are really giving me the motivation for this story and I hope you all continue to enjoy the chapters:)



4

Ugh. What did she drink to leave her with a killer headache? Buffy sat up, rubbing her eyes and wincing at the painful throb in her head. What time did she get up last night? Her mother must have been furious with her. Cold, she reached for the covers, and gasped when her hand brushed against a muscular shoulder. She wasn’t alone…what the huh? Buffy stared out at her surroundings, finding that she wasn’t in her room and she wasn’t alone. Where was she and did she really want to know who was in bed with her? She cried out as she looked down at Spike’s nude body laying cuddled up next to hers.

Oh God! What happened last night? How did she end up in bed with Spike and why was she so hungry? She’s never been this hungry in her life. She could eat a horse farm or two. None of this made any sense. She remembered thinking about the Bronze. Maybe she had gotten drunk and…no. No, there was definitely something wrong with that scenario. Even drunk, she wouldn’t have jumped into bed with Spike.

Setting up in the bed so her feet could dangle, she rubbed her face with hands that seemed unnaturally cold and ran over what she did the night before. She had gone out on patrol. She had been bored beyond relief until she came across a demon. The demon…she had fought it…but it had gotten the upper hand and had hurt her somehow. The pain…Oh god, it was unbearable. All she could do was just lay there and let her lifeblood leave her body. Death was upon her when Spike had arrived and began some stupid diatribe about Drusilla…and then….Spike had bitten her and then…Her stomach constricted with the memory of drinking something powerful…yet cold and dark…oh god!

“Hello cutie,” a deep British accent whispered into her ear, sending her to her feet and to the other side of the room at an unnaturally fast pace…even for her. Further proof that she was no longer part of the living. “You’re as magnificent as I thought you’d be, love.”

“Y-you! What did you do to me?” dumb question, but she needed to hear it. Something in her was holding on to a small sliver of hope that she was wrong. Somehow she had healed up and Spike probably called himself kidnapping the slayer or something incredibly stupid like that…she was probably just jumping to conclusions.

“What do you think I did? Gave you a new life, pet. You were going to die by the hand of some two bit demon, too daft to realize the kill he was about to make. Would have been a bloody waste for you to go out like that,” Spike shrugged, getting out of bed, approaching her carefully. He heard stories about turned slayers, and none of them were pretty. The newly risen vamped slayers usually tried to attack their sires. It was usually necessary to dust them right away, but Spike was hoping that Buffy would be different somehow. From the first time he saw her, he knew she was different from all the other slayers. Her spirit…her soul…she was magnificent and everyone in the demon community knew it. She had been hard to kill…now she was going to be stronger then ever…and it was all thanks to him.

“You son of a bitch!” she flew at him, her fist smashing into his nose, knocking him back down onto the bed. Buffy didn’t give him a chance to get up. She had him straddled and she was attempting to pummel him but good, but he dodged all of her blows. Soon enough, she was under him, her hands pinned above her head as he glowered down at her.

“None of that now, kitten. I saved your sodding life, slayer. You should be bloody well thanking me. It’s not like you don’t have your soul.”

“Saved my life?” She laughed, tears now pouring from her eyes. It hit her how her life was now changed. No longer could she see the sun. No longer would she go to school with her friends and eat lunch out on the steps in the sunlight. No more malls and shopping with Willow. No more Sunday morning brunches with her mother. It was all over and it was Spike’s fault. “You didn’t save my life Spike. You destroyed it! You should have just let me die! This…this is hell!”

Spike laughed. The loony bint thought she was in hell? She had no idea what hell was! She didn’t have to witness the love of her life shagging the great poof and rub it in her face day in and day out. No, the slayer had no idea what hell really was. “You have no idea, pet, and thanks to that shiny soul you retained thanks to your slayer title…well you have other things to worry about.”

Buffy frowned. This was new. Giles had never mentioned anything like this to her. What did he mean, she had a soul? As if reading her thoughts, Spike answered.

“Since you’re the slayer, your soul stays…but your strength increases. You’re the strongest slayer there ever was. Enjoy it,” he let her go and got to his feet as he felt the pull from his sire, calling him to the chambers she shared with Angelus. They had probably sensed his new fledgling’s presence and wanted to question him about it. Damn, this was going to be hard. He wasn’t ready for Angelus to know that the slayer was now his childe…but then again…sometimes things happened for a reason. Maybe the fact that he had turned a slayer would give him status with Dru again…maybe…

All thoughts left Spike as he looked down at Buffy, her hazel eyes bright with hunger. It was almost time to feed. Would he go back with Drusilla now, if given the chance? He had the most gorgeous vampire as his childe…would he even want to go back? Somehow he knew the answer to that and didn’t know if he liked it. Dru had been his dark princess for so long…to think that their love affair was truly over…well it hurt, but not as bad as it had the night he came home to find his dark plum mated to her sire. Drusilla had moved on a long time ago…it was time he did the same thing.

“Where in the hell are you going?” Buffy glared at her sire as he released her and moved for the door, unaware that his own sire was calling out to him at that moment. She still wanted to stake him, but she wanted to get down to the truth of why he had turned her. Why couldn’t he just let her die?

“Being summoned, pet. Stay put until I come for you. You’re safe here,” Spike turned to face her, not really wanting to leave her, but he didn’t want to risk Angelus coming to the door. He wanted to introduce his childe himself, not have the great poof walk in on them.

He was being summoned? But she wasn’t done with him yet! She had so much to say about this vampire thing. Maybe if she got on his nerves enough…he’d stake her! She opened her mouth, about to argue about his leaving, but he was gone in a blink of an eye, leaving Buffy to maul over her new status as an ensouled vampire/slayer.

~*~

Spike found Drusilla in what could be considered the throne room, perched on Angelus’s lap while the elder vampire lapped away at her neck. She giggled and declared how her daddy was a bad dog and could he hurt her a little bit more. Angelus was about to do just that when he noticed that they were no longer alone. Spike had answered his sire’s call. Well it was about time the boy paid some respect.

“You want me for something?” Spike asked, struggling to keep his composure. Cool and collected. That was how he had to play it. He wasn’t going to let them know that it hurt any longer. He was done being their bitch. Who needed loony Dru when he had a lovely vamped slayer waiting for him?

Angelus pulled Dru closer and glared down at the younger vamp, wanting to be as menacing as possible. He really didn’t take this siring another vampire without permission too kindly and wanted to know what Spike thought he was doing before he dusted the fledgling. “Dru here tells me you’ve been busy.”

Spike shrugged, ignoring the butterflies that was now battling inside his stomach. He couldn’t understand it. Why should he be nervous? It’s not like they know that his childe was Buffy…right? Bloody hell! He’d be turning into a big poof if he wasn’t careful.

“It all depends on what you mean by busy,” Spike shrugged, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. He had a sinking feeling that all of the posturing was for nothing, but he had to try. The sodding slayer was his responsibility now. He’ll go to hell before he allowed Angelus to touch her.

“Dru’s premonitions are never wrong, boy,” Angelus glared. He turned to a minion, his voice dark and menacing. “Go to William’s chambers and bring the fledgling to me. We’re going to teach William a lesson about playing hide and seek…especially when it comes to taking fledglings without my permission.”

“Oh please! Like there’s some kind of rule saying that I need that all Aurelian vampires need the great poof’s permission to make fledglings!” Spike rolled his eyes. Angelus may be the head of the line now, but there was no way he was going to believe such tripe!

“For you there is,” Angelus glared, pushing Drusilla from his lap so he could stand with a ready stake in hand. “Now. It’s time to meet this fledgling before I dust…”

Screams of horror and fists pounding against skin interrupted Angelus’s diatribe. All eyes were on the entrance where the minions Angelus had sent after William’s childe came flying into the room. Spike smiled with pride as he watched his slayer storm into the room, grab the minion’s head and rip it off it’s body.

“That’s my girl,” he grinned. Angelus wanted to meet his childe…he just got his wish.

“William’s been a very naughty boy,” Drusilla pouted, her unhappiness clear in her voice. “Daddy, make him stop.”

Buffy stood tall, facing the monster that wore the face of what she had once considered her true love. She then glanced at Spike, who only looked at her with pride gleaming in his eyes. Why he was so proud, she didn’t know, nor cared. She just wanted to go home, and if she had to pummel Angelus…well then so be it. She turned back to Angelus, ready for a fight.

“Hello lover,” She smiled, crossing her arms in a way that exuded confidence. If her heart could still beat, it would be beating out of her chest, she was certain of that. Hopefully, Angelus couldn’t smell her fear from where he stood.

“Does anyone know the meaning of security around here?!” Angelus roared. He was in no mood for a confrontation with the soul’s girlfriend right now. He had a childe to chastise. “I don’t have time for you. Best you leave now girl. Maybe I’ll let you live one more night…”

Suddenly Dru groaned and knelt over. Angelus was by her side at lightening speed as his mate moaned in pain and turned an icy stare at the slayer. “William has been a very naughty boy indeed, daddy. The slayer…she no longer lives…she’s one of us now…my pretty William made her into his new princess…and she’s…glowing…I can’t abide her!” Dru flew at Buffy, just to go flying back into the wall when her face met Buffy’s fist. Buffy fell to the ground as Angelus left his podium and backhanded her, his stake in hand when suddenly his pathway was blocked by a growling Spike, who was determined to protect his childe.

“Ah ah, Peaches. This one’s mine. You don’t touch her,” Spike pushed her away from Buffy, who got to her feet, wiping away the blood that was drabbling from her nose. Spike’s demon came out in anger as he smelt her blood, desperate for revenge. “If you do that again…I’ll show you what real pain is. I’ll make that shiny soul you had seem like a fucking picnic, mate.”

“You’re forgetting your place, boy.”

“No. I’m regaining it. Things are changing around here Angelus. Enjoy yourself while you bloody can, mate. Soon, I’ll be back in charge and you and your bitch will be out of here,” Spike stood face to face with his sire, all fear of Angelus was now drowned out by his anger. No one touched Buffy in such a rough manner…never again. She was his, and he was going to take care of her. The bloody poof had nothing to say about it.

“Get out of my face. The both of you. The sight of your bitch is making me sick,” Angelus turned away to go check on Dru, who was knocked unconscious when her head had hit the wall.

Spike just grinned in satisfaction before turning to check on his childe. That was a bit of fear he saw in Peaches eyes. He was bloody well sure of it. He had the poof scared and that was all he had ever hoped for. At last, he was getting back some his own. Who would have thought that he’d have the slayer to thank for it all.

“Come, Luv. Let’s go back to our room. I’ll treat that shiner for you,” he touched the side of her face that seemed a bit bruised, yet was fading already. “I’ll be damned…healing up already.”

Buffy stared at Angelus lifting Drusilla off the floor and felt only disgust. A long time ago, she had loved him and had thought them to be forever. Now…she wondered how she could have been so blind. It was so obvious that Angelus wasn’t for her and whatever Angel was…he wasn’t real. What was real was Spike. Spike turning her…helping her…defending her even. He had no soul, but he treated her like he did. What was that? Was the Council wrong in what they had said about vampires? Looking at Spike and remembering their first meeting and how he had constantly tried to kill her and her friends, she decided that no, they weren’t wrong. Vampires were cold blooded killers. The only reason Spike had turned her was because he wanted her help in overthrowing Angelus more or less. He didn’t care about her. He was selfish and evil. She had seen enough proof for that to be an undeniable fact.

Back in their chambers, Buffy’s mind began to wonder again. She missed her mother and her friends. Their absence was like a deep ache in her very being. She couldn’t do this…live like the monsters she had been taught to search out and destroy. She glared at the being that was responsible for making her like this…a monster unsuitable for the company of her loved ones. A souled beast, at his command and probably control. She was so going to kick his ass for this.

“I want to go home, Spike,” She glared at him openly, not really sure what she was trying to accomplish by repeating her wish.

“You are home, love. Get used to it,” Spike shrugged, laying back against the pillows, unaware of the tears Buffy shed as she realized that her life will never be the same again. She was good and damned and there was going to be no way to save herself, much less the people she loved.

5

“You bloody bint! You’re driving me insane!” Spike stormed back into his chambers, Buffy following behind him with a hateful glare. He had taken her out to teach her to hunt, but the sodding slayer had refused to cooperate. It’s been a few days since the confrontation with Angelus and Spike thought it was time to show the newly turned slayer the ropes. Sure, he knew it would be difficult teaching her to hunt because of the soul, but he hadn’t expected her to be so damn stubborn about it. He’d point out an innocent victim, she’d refuse to attack them. He pointed out a murderer, fresh from the kill from the smell of fresh O neg that came from him, still the slayer wouldn’t attack. After about ten more tries, all ending in arguments and insults, he gave up. He’ll keep at it until she gave in, but for now he was going to let it drop. All he wanted to do was go to his chambers and read some poetry. Forget about his stubborn childe for a few hours, but not before letting her know just how angry he really was. “If you don’t eat, you’ll die!”

Buffy only snorted, her arms crossed in steely determination. She was the slayer. Her job had once to protect people from creatures such as herself. There was no way she was going to feed off of humans like they were cattle. She didn’t care what her sire may say or do. If she died…well that was for the best. One less monster on the planet. “Fine with me.”

“Why? Are you doing this just to drive me bloody insane, slayer? Because if you are…”

“What? What are you going to do, Spike? Stake me? Go ahead! I don’t want to be here anyway! I hate this! I hate you! So go ahead and stake me! End my fucking misery!” Buffy yelled, tears streaming from her eyes. She had never felt so down in her life. She missed her mother and her friends. She’d do anything to see them again, even if it was to say goodbye, but Spike had been adamant. No contact with her former life. She was dead to them. It was best she remained that way. He had said that she should thank him for making the decision for her, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t. He had taken all that she was and made it into something it was never meant to be.

Spike opened his mouth to yell at her once more when he felt Drusilla’s pull on the sire/childe bond. Bloody hell. What did they want now? He had thought that Dru and her daddy would leave him and Buffy in peace after the confrontation a few days back, but it looked like that was a false hope.

“Stay put, Slayer. We’re going to discuss this when I get through seeing what the poof and Dru wants,” Spike glared at her before storming out of the room, leaving Buffy to think of ways to escape the lair and make her way to her friends. She wasn’t taking kindly to this at all and was going to get away from Spike if it was the last thing she did.

~*~

Spike groaned as he entered his Sire’s chambers just to find her naked body draped over Angelus. The elder vampire just leered at him with cruel pleasure. Spike knew then that whatever this was about wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Good of you to join us Spike,” Angelus grinned. “Dru here felt like some company and since I knew what a prude that slayer is…well thought you might like to watch.”

Spike frowned, somehow knowing that whatever Angelus and Dru had planned, he wasn’t going to like it. Bloody wankers. What was the point of rubbing their relationship in his face? Why was Dru so into her damn “daddy” that she had forgotten all he had done for her. Faced down an angry mob in Prague, got hit in the head with an ax by the slayer’s mother, got his sodding ass kicked time and again by said slayer, and still she longs for her fucking daddy!

“Listen, I’m not in the mood for any of your bloody head games, Angelus. I’m not interested,” Spike turned to leave, just to find that his legs wouldn’t move. He frowned and looked at Dru, who had a cruel, greedy light in her eyes. Of course. She pulled rank on him. Forced him to stand still and wait for whatever torture she and the wanker had cooked up.

“Stay pretty William. Stay for princess…”

He wanted to tell her that she was no longer his princess, his he had a new princess that was waiting for him, but he knew it wasn’t true. Buffy hated him and Dru…despite everything, he still loved her. He still longed to hold her and run his hands through her dark tresses as he used to do. He longed to taste her once more, feel the powerful tange of her blood slide down his throat as she held him tight in her arms…but those days were past. Dru was Angelus’s now and there was nothing Spike could do about it.

“Ah, Dru. You always know how to turn a man on,” Angelus dipped his head into her cleavage. Spike’s demon came to the fore at the sent of Drusillas rich blood spilling out onto her dress as Angelus began to drink.

Spike held back a heartfelt whimper as he watched his enemy enjoy what he once had only a few short months earlier. He found himself unable to look away as she moaned in erotic bliss as Angelus’s hand clenched her ass and pulled her body up against his own.

“Oh, Angelus…no one had ever made me feel like sunshine and honey!” Dru gasped, her face lit up with elation. “Not even my William…”

Whatever was left of the heart Spike held safe for his dark princess was crushed. She had finally done it. She had finally destroyed the one part of him that made him more special then any other vampire. He had finally gotten it. For a century, he had been wrong. He had thought Dru loved him…in her own twisted way…but she didn’t. She probably never had. Probably just biding her time until Daddy returned. He stood there and watched as the mated vampires drank each others blood and had intercourse, both keeping their eyes on him, making sure he watched and that it was made perfectly clear that Drusilla would never be his ever again.

After fifteen minutes have passed and Dru and Angelus laid in each other’s arms sated, for the moment, Dru released her sire’s hold on Spike, allowing him to move and leave. It was Angelus’s voice that stopped him cold in his tracks as he headed for the door.

“Is it clear now, boy? She’s mine. Forever. Until we’re dust. You don’t touch her, look at her, don’t even think…heck, dream of her. Drusilla is mine. Do you understand me?”

Spike stood there as he closed his eyes and clenched his fists, resisting the urge to tell Angelus to sodd off. To tell the poof he’d do anything he damned well please, whether it was thinking of Dru or even touching her, but he didn’t. He just sighed in misery and tried to push away the coming devastation.

“You hear me, boy? Do I have to repeat…”

“I hear you. All I have to say is sod off, Peaches.”

With an angry roar, Angelus flew out of bed and penned Spike to the wall by his throat. “You better show me some respect, childe. I can take that pretty little childe of yours and make her mine as well if you’re not careful. Heck, I might just go ahead and do that…just for the fun of it. Do you hear me, childe?”

Spike looked away, not wanting Angel to see the fear in his eyes. The wanker could have Dru, but he’d be damned if he let him have Buffy, too. “Yes.”

“What was that?”

“Yes,” Spike openly glared, hating the wanker more then he ever had before.

“Good. Now get out of here. I’m sure the slayer is getting lonely,” Angelus released Spike and watched as the younger vamp left the room, not giving Drusilla a glance.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on William, daddy,” Drusilla slinked up to Angelus, draping her pale arms over broad shoulders.

“The boy needed to be punished, Dru. He vamped a slayer. A dangerous slayer at that. Such a thing does not go unpunished.”

Drusilla said nothing else in William’s defense. She just allowed Angelus to push her back onto the pillows and have his way, forgetting the fun and danger of the ending night.

~*~

Buffy was on her way. She was leaving. Spike had gone off, god knew where, leaving her with a perfect opportunity to escape, but first she had to think of where to go. Back to Giles? Would he stake her on sight? What would her friends say? What would her mother say?

Should she just leave Sunnydale all together? Hide out somewhere that Spike couldn’t find her? Maybe she should just dust herself? Call the council and let them do it for her? Gah, she was so confused. She needed to leave, and leave now before Spike got back. She was wasting time here. Taking one last glance around the room, Buffy got up and opened the door just to find Spike leaning against the entrance, looking…well…devastated.

She frowned as she automatically vamped out. What the…she hadn’t meant for that to happen. She was disappointed that her chance to escape was gone…but she didn’t feel all ..grrr…about it. Her frown deepened as something inside her…something strong and primal lifted her arms and pulled Spike close to her. What the heck…what was going on here? She didn’t tell her arms to do that…she didn’t tell her body to move close to his, her hands to stroke the back of his head. Soft cooing purrs left her mouth and she somehow knew what was happening. Her demon. It sensed her sire in distress and wanted to comfort him somehow and in it’s determination moved past her soul. Oh, this so wasn’t of the good. If her demon was strong enough to veto the soul’s decisions towards Spike…would it be strong enough to ignore the soul’s protests when it came to killing?

Then came the sobs. Not her own, even though hot tears of distress was coursing from her eyes, but Spike’s tears as he allowed her demon to lead him back into the room and down onto the bed they shared. Her hands led his head down to her lap and stroked his hair. Her own distress was soon forgotten as curiosity took it’s place. What had caused this? Where did Spike go, and why did it cause such devastation. If it hadn’t been Spike, she would feel sorry for the him.

“Spike…what…what is this? What happened?”

Spike struggled to rein in his emotions. This wasn’t the way he wanted to appear in front of his childe, which was the reason he was lurking outside the door instead of going inside. He wanted to be strong and sure of himself, not seem weak and pounce-like. Now the slayer saw what he really was…what all those people at that bloody party the night he was turned saw…William the bloody awful poet. Not William the Bloody, slayer of slayers. She saw him as weak now.

“Dru…she called me in to her chambers…bloody bint…she had me watch her and Angelus shag. And Angelus…he told me not to even think of her again…or he’d…,” at the thought of Angelus’s threat, Spike shivered. He wasn’t going to take Buffy. Spike wouldn’t allow it. He’d stake her first…send her back to the watcher somehow, if it came down to it.

Buffy didn’t want to hear anymore. She was sickened by what Dru and Angelus had done. What was that ho-bag thinking? It was obvious that she didn’t want Spike, so what was the purpose of calling him in to watch her escapades with Angelus? She had to admit, she now felt sorry for her sire. His sobs were heartbreaking, she wanted to go to Drusilla and do her slayer duty. Meanwhile, her demon roared in outrage. It wanted to avenge her sire somehow and give him back his dignity. Amazing, her soul and the demon actually agreed on something.

“How could she do this to me? Wasn’t it enough that she mated with the wanker? That she dumped me like a burning cross? Did she have to help him rub it in my face, using our sire/childe bond? Did she have to be so blunt about it,” Spike sobbed, now losing himself in his grief, forgetting that Buffy was even in the same vicinity. All that existed right then, was his own broken heart, shattered in a million pieces. “I’ve done everything for her, my dark princess. I faced mobs and faced slayers for her. Did any of it matter? Damn women! Are they all so bloody heartless? Consider me dirt beneath their sodding shoes?”

Buffy’s heart broke once more. Amazing, she felt the walls she had built around herself against Spike crumble. Nobody, not even Spike, deserved what Drusilla had done, and Angelus…her demon again roared in outrage as the girl that had once loved Angel died a little bit more, she was going to have to stake him. Not only for what he had done to Spike…but also to protect her friends and family. Just because she was dead …or a vamp as the case may be, that didn’t make them safe. She was going to fix that. Not only for her friends and her mother…but also for Spike as well. It surprised her that he would be included in the people Buffy wanted to protect, but the broken man before her touched her heart in a way no one ever had. It wasn’t pity…it was something else…something she couldn’t explain. Her soul cried for him as her demon roared for revenge against the ones responsible. Oh yes, Angelus and Drusilla were going to pay. She was going to make sure of it.

“Spike…forget them. You don’t need her, just like I don’t need Angel. We’re like, so much better than them. We have each other. We always will,”

Confused, Spike looked up at Buffy, expecting to see the demon peering out at him, instead, he was amazed to find her demon mask gone and the girl staring out at him, her eyes bright and shiny with tears and strong with determination. This wasn’t the demon talking. It was the slayer…Buffy. Something had changed that night. He wasn’t sure what, but he was positive it would see him through this heartache and give him something so much better. Piece by piece, the slayer was handing him back not only his dignity, but his humanity as well. Maybe women weren’t as cursed as he thought. Maybe…just maybe by chance…he had found the one woman that could love him forever. Leaning in to gently kiss her parted lips, Spike laid them both back down onto the bed, where they fell asleep in each other’s arms, knowing that their relationship had just taken a turn for the better.

6
Buffy sighed as she tried to lift her arm but failed. It’s been a week since Spike’s melt down. Since then, Buffy and Spike have grown closer, but there was still one problem. Buffy still refused to feed off humans. Spike had begged and pleaded with her, even offered to kill them himself for her, but she would have none of it. Now, she was too weak to even move, thanks to the lack of sustenance.
She was alone now. Spike had gone out to hunt for them both since she had grown too weak to do so herself. She knew that he was disappointed in her. He’d stand above her as she laid weak on the bed, just shaking his head, probably thinking of what a waste she was. A vamped slayer was supposed to be stronger than any other vampire in existence. Yet, thanks to her refusal to feed, she was the weakest.
“Slayer! I’m back!” Spike announced his arrival, dragging in the unconscious form of a drunken frat boy. “Back with some sodding food! Eat up!”
Buffy grimaced at her would be victim and vehemently shook her head, confused on why Spike refused to accept her decision to abstain from human blood. Couldn’t he see that he was wasting his time? He should be something more productive with his time, like determining how they were going to live and where. It wasn’t safe here under Angelus’s thumb. Sooner or later, her ex was going to grow tired of their presence and there would be trouble that neither she nor Spike needed.
“I already told you…no. I won’t feed off humans. I don’t care where they came from or if they deserve it. No,” Buffy pushed the body away with the last of her remaining strength. She winced at the sound of Spike’s angry roar and the sound of breaking glass as Spike threw another bottle of whiskey across the room.
“Bloody fucking hell, slayer! What do you expect me to do? Just let you waste away to nothing?! You have to feed!”
“Not off of humans I don’t,” Buffy pulled the sheet she laid under up to her chin, forcing away the demon’s urge to cower before her sire. Cowering was so not of the good. The last thing she wanted to show was fear, even if the fear belonged to the demon that shared her body. She would not allow it to show any emotional weakness. It was bad enough it made her so weak from lack of blood. “Go away Spike. I’m trying to sleep.”
Spike sighed. For not the first time, he felt at a lost. His Childe was wasting away to nothing, thanks to her refusal to feed from humans. Bloody hell, how did the chit think she was going to survive? She was so small and weak, just laying there, no sign of the slayer she should be. If only she’d feed. He could still hear Dru and Angelus’s laughter at his plight. Dru had chanted about how Spike’s new doll was all broken and couldn’t come out and play and Angelus…a growl slipped from Spike as he thought of how Angelus wanted to be there when the vamped slayer finally dusted from lack of nourishment. Bugger it all, he wasn’t going to allow that. The slayer was his childe. It was up to him to care for her, and that he would.
Getting into a comfortable position on the bed, Spike pulled Buffy’s body up into his arms and positioned her until her mouth rested against his jugular vein. He knew what he was about to do was forbidden. It was against vampire law for vampires to feed off each other for nourishment, but he couldn’t help that. He didn’t want his childe to die, and forcing her to feed from his own body was the only way he knew to make sure she lived…at least until he could get through to her that she’d need to feed.
Buffy’s eyes blinked open, not sure what was happening. She knew that she was being held against a strong chest, and the cool skin beneath her lips held something tempting, delicious…something lifesaving. Something that belonged exclusively to her sire, and he was offering it to her. “Spike. What are you doing?”
“You won’t feed off of a sodding human, pet. So feed off of me. My blood won’t get you to full strength as human blood would…but it’ll keep you alive and functioning. So go ahead. Drink.”
Drink. Such a simple request, and so easy to give into, but wouldn’t feeding off Spike be like feeding off humans? There was something that gave the demon inside her a sense of warning…it was like something that wasn’t allowed. But that was ridiculous. Spike wasn’t human. He was a demon, just like her and it wasn’t like she was just taking his blood without permission, he was offering. So pushing back any reservations her demon brought up, she vamped and sank her teeth into the soft tender flesh and sighed in satisfaction as the cool liquid filled her mouth. Buffy pressed against his body as she took in the blood, feeling like she was drinking the coolest, sweetest nectar in all creation. Settling down in his lap, ignoring the hard erection pressing against her body, Buffy drank and got lost in the cool sensation filling her very being. It was like she was being filled by the cool essence of her sire…not only with nourishment, but knowledge as well. She saw everything that had happened to the man who held her so tightly from birth up until the present. Her fingers tightened around the silky material of his shirt as she experienced all the heartbreak, the joys, the bloodlust of Spike’s past.
She saw the young man he once was. His mother the love of his life…until he met high society Cecily, who he had written poem after horrible poem for. She inwardly giggled at the real meaning behind the name William the Bloody. She watched as Cecily ripped his heart in two and sent him out to meet his death by Drusilla, who was in search of a temporary replacement for Angel. She watched William’s fledgling years as he brought new meaning to his name as he ripped apart the snobs at the party and left Cecily in ruins. She watched as Angelus taught him how to be one of the cruelest, most diabolical vampires of the 19th century. She experienced the triumph of the kill of his first slayer. She felt his heartbreak and confusion as he found out the one male role model in his unlife had left him with two female vampiress, one cruel and the other insane. She felt his fear and outrage as Drusilla was injured in Prague and the instant attraction he had felt for her when he had first set eyes on what he thought would be his third slayer..
Then came the all consuming heartbreak as Drusilla dumped him for her sire and the devastation to find them mated when he had returned from helping destroy Acathla. The desire he felt as he turned her…and now…the breaking down of the wall he had around his heart as he cared for her and the knowledge that Spike was capable of so much love. It was a part of his humanity that he had held onto through out the centuries. When he loved, it was forever and he had given that to Dru, who had outright rejected it the moment Angelus returned to her. Now he was handing his heart to her, tentatively…fearfully…he wanted to love her, but wasn’t sure if she would ever feel the same. This knowledge alone made Buffy collapse against his chest as he pulled her away from his neck, needlessly gasping for air as the meaning of what had just happened hit her.
She hadn’t only seen Spike’s past…she had viewed his heart and it was capable of so much love…if she had any breath…that knowledge alone would have taken it right away. Buffy gazed at him with tear-filled eyes, wondering how a soulless demon could love so deeply, yet her Angel was incapable of such a thing when he had no soul. Somehow, it wasn’t fair…but to know that Spike’s love could possibly be hers…it made everything alright again.
Spike stroked Buffy’s hair as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, trying to get her bearings from the wave of images and emotions that had just swept through her. Somehow, he knew what had just happened. He had been an open book for her, laid out bare. No secret had been kept from her as she fed and it had all been too much. He should have been prepared and warned the chit about what was going to take place. Bloody hell, the bint had a sodding strong grip. His shoulders felt as if they would cave from the pressure of her fingers clinging to him.
“What was that?” her voice was shaky, and she felt so off balance, yet stronger…better then she had before she fed from Spike.
“What happens when vampires feed off each other for food. That’s why it’s against vampire law. Too much is given away, and if the childe has the mind too, they can turn their knowledge against their sires. Why it’s forbidden and that’s why you are not to say a word to anyone about this, pet. If Angelus found out…the wanker will kill us both.”
Well. That was a surprise. Vampires had laws? Who’d have thought? Buffy eyed Spike in curiosity. He had clearly went against the rules without a second thought. Why? She knew he didn’t love her…not yet anyway. Oh he cared about her. Respected her even, but would that really have been enough to get him to go against the rules of the society that made him? Was he really so willing to do something that would bring down Angelus’s wrath on them both? Looking at him, seeing the warmth in the depths of those blue eyes, Buffy had her answer. Yes. Spike did care that much, and if she played her cards right, those feelings will soon blossom into the unconditional love he had once held for his own sire.
“Pet, did you bloody hear what I said. Don’t tell anyone that you fed…”
“I heard you Spike, and you have my word. I’ll tell no one. It’ll stay between the two of us,” Buffy sighed, leaning back against the headboard suddenly tired. Dawn was approaching, and her demon, now fully sated, was calling for sleep. “I saw you Spike. I saw your heart. It’s so…”
“Shhh,” he pressed a finger against her lips, not wanting to hear what she had to say, not wanting to even hope that she could feel the emotions he was growing to feel for her. She was the slayer…or rather used to be the slayer anyway, and she couldn’t possibly love him…or could she? Looking at her, so shaken and lost in the bed they now shared, he was beginning to believe that it was possible. She could love him. “We’ll talk about this later. Right now, you sleep and I’ll finish off the chap here. Have to keep my sodding strength up since I’m eating for bloody two now,” He winked, pulling the covers over her body.
“Spike…I…thank you,” She smiled, her eyes bright with feelings that were churning around inside her, making her more and more confused by the day. A few weeks ago, she had hated Spike with her very being…but now…not so much. She liked him actually. Now how heavy was that?
“Don’t mention it, slayer. You’re my childe now. Of course I’m going to take care of you.”
“Still. Thank you,” Buffy’s smile was small, yet bright before she allowed sleep to claim her. For the first time since being vamped, Buffy felt safe and secure. Spike was her sire, and he wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to hurt her. A girl couldn’t ask for more then that. She really couldn’t.
~*~
Giles, able to sleep any further stood at his window and watched the rising sun. He sighed as his grief tried to over take him once again. It’s been two weeks and no sign of his slayer. No ransom note, no dead body. He feared to think of what that meant and he loathed to inform the council…even though he knew there would be no choice. It’s bee more then two weeks and it was painfully obvious that his slayer was never coming back. Maybe he was jumping to conclusion here…indeed, things looked bad…but maybe Buffy was being held captive after all and had yet to escape…maybe she had escaped and was on her way home right that minute? Well then, informing the council wouldn’t do at all. He’ll just wait. Give it a few more days. Give Buffy a chance before jumping to conclusions. After all, she was his slayer. If she was dead…somehow he’d know. Cleaning his glasses, Giles went for the leather bound journal he kept at his bed. It was time to record his thoughts once again. Time to record his dying hope.

7

The library was deathly silent. Not a sound could be heard from the three somber inhabitants. It’s been three weeks since Buffy’s disappearance. It was time to face the awful truth…a truth that they had been denying for far too long. Buffy…their slayer and friend…was gone. There was no more hope to be had.

“I hope it was quick,” Willow wiped away a tear, her mind still refusing to grasp the loss of her best friend. It seemed like yesterday that the petite blond had forced her way into their lives. “Do you think it was quick?” She looked up, her voice filled with a sad hope that her heart refused to feel.

“I…I just can’t believe it…I mean…we don’t even have a body,” Xander shook his head, unable to accept the death of another friend…this time the girl who had saved his own life more then he could count. It seemed like yesterday when he had discovered her status as a slayer and his disbelief…until he got a look at Willow’s “date”. He had thought she’d live forever…he never even considered the possibility that one day, his friend would be gone. “How do we know she’s dead?”

“Xander…she’s been gone for weeks now. She would have contacted us by now if she was ok,” Willow winced at her own words, coming to grips that Buffy was gone for good. There was no more hope that she’d come walking through that door, as right as rain. She hated to be the one to dash Xander’s hopes…but she had no choice. She couldn’t keep up dead hope and neither could he. Doing so would destroy them both.

“Of course, there being no body means only one thing…” Giles cleared his throat, fighting the nervous temptation of cleaning his glasses.

“NO!” Xander stood from his seat, shaking his head, his eyes full of vehement denial. No. Not another friend…not Buffy. He couldn’t lose another friend to vampirism…he just couldn’t. There must be another explanation…an explanation that was more acceptable than that. “Not Buffy. No…”

“It’s a possibility that we must be prepared for Xander. Believe me, I hate the thought as much as you do,” Giles sighed, giving in to his habit as he turned away from the two teens that glared at the table in their grief.

“I can’t believe this is happening…” Willow frowned once again.

Xander had enough. He was tired of this. Willow’s reluctant acceptance and Giles’s hopelessness. The only one still willing to hope that his friend was alive…just incapacitated, was himself…so it was up to him to help her. Buffy needed him. He could feel it and just because the watcher and his other friend had lost faith…that didn’t mean he would. He was going to find Buffy and bring her home…even if it was the last thing he did.

“Xander, where are you going?” Willow asked as Xander got out to storm out the door. She was concerned for her former crush. She knew what Buffy had meant to Xander. She was his hero and if he could help the slayer out of a jam, he was there. The only problem with that was that it would get him killed.

“Xander, you fool! Get back here,” Giles grabbed the young man’s arm and pushed him back down onto the chair. “Going out, looking for Buffy is fruitless and not to mention dangerous. I absolutely forbid you to go out there in search of her. What you are going to do is join Willow and I in breaking the news to Joyce. She has the right to put her daughter to rest…”

“Put her to rest? But…” Xander began to protest, but fell silent as Giles intense glare pierced through his determination. He did want to find Buffy…but G-man was right. Going out by himself would only get him killed. But there had to be something he could do…he just couldn’t give up. Buffy was still out there. He just couldn’t accept otherwise. “don’t you think we should give it a few more days? Give Mrs. Summers a little more time to at least believe that Buffy’s coming home? You’ve already dashed Will’s hope. Why are you so gung-ho to destroy ours?”
Giles looked as if he had just been hit with one of the heavy tomes he kept on the top floors of the library. Positively shocked. He hadn’t expected Xander to sound so bitter. Well…actually he shouldn’t have been too shocked. Xander had always held Buffy upon a pedestal, and to think that she was mortal after all…even after the bout with The Master…it was just impossible for the boy to comprehend.

“It is not the case of dashing hopes, Xander. It’s accepting the obvious. As much as it breaks my heart to do so…I have to accept that my slayer will not be coming home. You’d be wise to do the same. But I’ll do as you ask. I’ll wait before informing Joyce. Lord knows, the poor woman needs all the hope and faith she can get.”

Xander nodded his acceptance, relieved that he brought Buffy a little more time to come home and prove Giles wrong. His friend was alive and vibrant as ever. It was just a matter of getting her back home where she belonged.

~*~

“That’s enough, pet,” Spike gently pushed Buffy away from his neck as he felt himself weaken a bit. It’s been another week and Buffy was still getting her nourishment from him. He had no idea how long he was going to be able to keep this up. He was a bit weaker than before and soon Dru and Angelus would be bound to notice that something was up. His arms tightened around his childe as he once again thought of what Angelus would do if he found out their little secret. The bloody wanker would have no second thoughts about punishing her. Spike silently swore to the newly vamped slayer…he’d die before he let Angelus touch her.

“Spike,” Buffy sighed, letting her body relax against him. She couldn’t believe that in such a short amount of time, she’s grown to care for Spike. Not too long ago, she had hated him. Her fondest dream was to see him dust. Now, that was her worst nightmare.

Somehow, her feelings were growing more and more each day. Soon it was going to be full blown love, which was fine. But would he share her feelings or would he laugh, telling her that she was just a replacement for Drusilla, nothing more. She wouldn’t be able to bare if it he did. She would go meet the sun that very day. She knew she was risking a lot in asking, but she had to know. She was so tired of wondering how much Spike cared for her? Most of all…why did he turn her? Why didn’t he just let her bleed to death? None of it made sense. There was only two reasons she could think of. Either he loved her…or he wanted her to suffer, because she hated this existence as a vampire. It had been a nightmare of hers for so long…if he had wanted her to suffer…this would have been a way to accomplish such a ambition.

“Why did you turn me? I’ve been going over it in my head and it just doesn’t make sense. We’ve been fighting for so long…you’ve made it quite clear that you hated me…I just don’t understand.”

Spike sighed. That was a question he had gone through in his own head a number of times and the only reason he could come up with was respect. He couldn’t let her die by the claw of an unknown demon, who seemed to have cared less that he had just gotten the best of the killer of their kind. He had to save her. There was no way that he was going to let the best bloody slayer he had ever fought die in such a manner. He didn’t care how put out his sire and grandsire got.

He shrugged and looked away, not daring to look her in the eye. “Couldn’t let you die like that. Best sodding slayer I fought.. You deserved better than that.”

Buffy would have laughed at the irony of it all if she hadn’t experienced the wave of thoughts and emotions she got from Spike whenever she fed from him. Spike. A soulless, unclean, vampire had a sense of honor. Love definitely wasn’t the only thing her sire was capable of. She didn’t know to be happy or sad for such knowledge. As a man, Spike had been an innocent, sent to his death by a woman that couldn’t appreciate the love she was offered. William. A poet. An honorable man…a man that had managed to hang on to some of his humanity when he became a monster. He had deserved so much better then what he got. It wasn’t fair.

“I should hate you, you know. I should stake you right here and now for turning me.”

Spike looked away, not wanting her to see the hurt that her words had caused. She was right, after all. She had every right to hate him. He wouldn’t blame her if she dusted him right there and then. Yet, something told him that killing him was the farthest thing from the slayer’s mind. Bloody hell…what did the bint want? Why was she telling him this? If she was going to dust him, fine. She could have at it. But if not…she was just wasting his time. “Why don’t you then? You’re a slayer. You can do me in anytime you want. So tell me, why don’t you kill me. Take out your sodding revenge?”

He had a point there. Why hadn’t she dusted him by now? Any self-respecting, recently turned slayer would have done so by now? Really, what was holding her back? Well…she was kind of weak, and Spike was doing his best to take care of her, even going against some vampire rules…yet, somehow she knew that wasn’t the real reason she hadn’t staked her sire. There was something in her heart that stopped her, that chased the thought from her mind. She had to admit, she didn’t really want to dust him. Their relationship had grown to something beyond sire and childe. She had to admit it to herself, if not to him, she was falling in love. She had thought it was impossible to have these strong feelings for anyone else after she had lost Angel, but she had been wrong. Wrong on so many levels. Those feelings were returning to her and this time stronger then they had ever been for her ex. Her feelings for Spike…they were purer, stronger…more real.

“Spike…I…I don’t know. I know I should…but I don’t want to,” She looked away, cursing herself for her cowardess. She should just tell him the truth. She had feelings for him and they were growing stronger every day, and it wasn’t because he was her sire. It was because he was Spike. But no. She chickened out. Afraid that he would laugh at her. Tell her that she was just a conquest. Lying was safer. Her heart couldn’t be broken if he didn’t know the depth of her feelings for him.

“And I didn’t want you to die. Not yet anyway,” Spike smirked, getting up from the bed to stand against the far wall as he lit a cigarette.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. She was touched that he seemed to care enough for her, to not want her to die. Of course, she kind of knew it by the fact that he let her feed from him, but still…to hear him say it…it made her nervousness to share her deepening feelings for him lessen. “Spike…I…”
She didn’t get to finish the sentence. Drusilla came through the door, her eyes gleamed with evil intent as they landed on Buffy. Spike came to attention and immediately intercepted his ex as she headed in the slayer’s direction.

“What you want Dru?” Spike asked, weary and with good reason. He had seen her play with newly turned fledglings. Torturing them in ways that would make even Peaches wince. He didn’t want any of that near his childe. He swore to protect the slayer. That meant keeping his insane sire and her “daddy” away from her.

“Ms. Edith says that little dolly is ready for playing. We shall have all kinds of fun. We shall make candle light play across her skin. Do you like candles?” Dru’s gaze fell on Buffy, who backed up a bit. Her heightened senses were screaming danger as her demon came to the forefront. Somehow she knew that if it weren’t for Spike, she’d be dead now…or even worse.

“She’s not for the playing Dru. She belongs to me. So better bugger off back to daddy. Don’t want him thinking you’re stepping out on him, do you?” Spike shook his head and welled himself not to back down. Dru may be his sire, but when push came to shove, he could stand his ground. He wasn’t going to let her touch Buffy.

“But Spike, she’s so pretty and Ms. Edith will be cross if she doesn’t come to tea.” Dru pouted, her eyes gazing into Spike’s, attempting to pull him into her thrall. She frowned as she ran into a brick wall. Her William seemed to be immune to her charms now. “My William. She has ruined you for me.”

“You ruined me for you, pet. Now get out and stay away from her. She’s mine,” Spike pushed Drusilla back into the hall, and slammed the door in her face. He turned around to find Buffy looking as if she was a sodding deer caught in some headlights, with some big tracker coming down upon her. He hurried to her side and pulled her into a protective embrace, wanting her to know that she was safe, he would never let either of them get their hands on her. “Don’t fret, pet. As long as ole Spike is around, you’re safe. Promise. But it may be a good idea to move out of this place. That way Dru’s not tempted to make a return visit.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” she held tight to his shoulders, afraid that Drusilla would return and force her from Spike’s side. She closed her eyes as her love for her ever protective sire deepened. She knew then that she would tell him soon that she loved him. If he rejected her…she’ll deal. But she at least wanted him to know that she no longer thought of him as an enemy. She needed him to know that he held her heart before anything could happen to either of them.

8
Angelus was waiting for Drusilla when she finally returned to him. It’s been five hours since she left, claiming that she had to retrieve something from her old chamber that she used to share with Spike. To say that he was angry was an understatement. He was more than angry…more than furious. There was no word to describe what he was feeling. He just knew that Drusilla better have a good explanation and she had better not be wearing Spike’s scent. He loved his mate, but she was an unfaithful wench. Spike might have put up with it, but he wasn’t about to.
“Where have you been!” He roared, surging to his feet, not even attempting to reign in his temper. He grabbed her roughly, not paying attention to the wince of pain or the frightened whimper. Angelus sniffed her skin suspiciously, searching for any signs that she was with her childe. He growled as he caught a slight aroma of leather and cigarettes…too slight to be of any importance. “You were with Spike weren’t you?”
Dru pouted as she pulled out of Angelus’s grasp. It had been a very disappointing day for her and Ms. Edith. They had wanted to play with the new dolly, but mean William refused to play fair. Now they must spill all secrets to daddy. William had once again been a very naughty boy and so had his baby. All naughty children shall be punished and will go to bed without any cake. Daddy will make sure of that.
“Selfish, bad William. Would not let me play with his dolly. He threw me out. Like I was bad blood, not fit for the eating. He shall not have any cake,” She turned from Angelus, feeling thoroughly depressed. William was supposed to be hers forever. Now the girl came and took him away.
“Ah, he wouldn’t would he?” Angelus crossed his arms. Seemed like the boy thought he had something that his elders couldn’t touch. He was going to have to do something about that. Everything in the lair was Angelus’s property. He didn’t care who did the siring. He was head of the line. He was the law. It was coming time to remind Spike of that.
“He’s been eating for two now,” Dru continued, not paying Angelus anymore mind as she read the visions she had received just that morning, before waking. The pixies had been busy catching her up on pretty William’s activities. What she saw, it made her blood boil and her insanity grow. It wasn’t right. Not any of it. The girl shall be punished. “He feeds himself, then opens his own veins to feed his golden princess.”
“What?” Angelus vamped, his hands balled into tight fists as he began to tremble with outrage. Was he hearing it right? Did Spike go against Vampire law and feed his disgusting fledging from his own vein? If so…why…it meant a night of beautiful torture. Of course, it would be by his own hand, as head of the line. He just didn’t know who he wanted to suffer more. Spike for turning that bothersome slayer…or the slayer herself…for making him feel like a human being. Oh, her. Most definitely. She had treated him like a man and that was unforgivable. He was going to make the girl wish that she had died her final death by whatever had tried to kill her. And Spike…he was going to watch. “She’s been feeding from Spike?”
Drusilla just nodded, rubbing her arms, that now sported black and blue marks from where Angelus had gripped her. “The princess has fed from the prince and must be punished accordingly.”
Angelus grinned with a pleasure that he had long missed. He had thought his days of torture were most likely over. This was a pleasant surprise to know that they were far from. He was going to make the slayer suffer, and Spike, the ever present pain in his ass suffer right along with her. “Oh, love. You should have stayed dead.” He laughed, grabbing his mate to twirl her around the room. “Starting tonight, we dine on slayer blood.”
Drusilla grinned with maniacal glee. William was going to regret not letting her play with the his new princess. Now she and daddy will show William that it’s not nice to be selfish with new toys. Not nice at all.
~*~
Buffy snuggled closer to Spike with a contented sigh. She had just fed and her feelings for Spike were deepening by the minute. She had to tell him. There was no way she could keep these feelings to herself any longer. She was in love with Spike. It was amazing how fast she fell and how wonderful it felt to be in love again and this time so much deeper. Sure, she still loved Angel. A part of her always would. He had made her feel like a princess, but Spike…just with one look, he made her feel like a woman…the kind of woman she wanted to be. The feelings she had for Spike…they were so much stronger than what she had with Angel. And what made it even more special…Spike loved her without a soul. Angel couldn’t. That made all the difference in the world.
“What are you thinking about, love?” Spike asked, pulling her closer to his body, wanting to her feel safe and secure in his arms. Looking in her eyes, he could swear that she felt something for him…something that had been denied him since his very existence. But he didn’t dare hope. Spike had faced facts a long time ago. Love just wasn’t meant to be for him. Never had been. Cecily couldn’t love him, and neither had Dru. Not really, or she wouldn’t have ran back to her daddy so fast. There was no reason to think that Buffy, the slayer, his former enemy turned childe, could ever feel so strongly for him. She may care for him, like him even. But love? That was something he just couldn’t bring himself to even hope for.
“Who says I’m thinking of anything?” She giggled, wanting to tease him before telling him how much she loved him, that he was the only thing she thought of anymore and that this had nothing to do with the childe/sire bond.
Spike growled playfully, before planting a light kiss on her nose. “You have that look on your face. Like you’re off somewhere floating about. Now tell me, pet. What’s running around in that beautiful head of yours?”
She looked into his eyes, searching them for any sign cruelty waiting to come out and knock her off the cloud she’s been floating on for the past few days. What if he was only playing with her? What if he didn’t feel the same way? All the things he’s done for her in the past weeks were just because he felt sorry for her? Or he just had a responsibility towards her, since he did sire her and all? What if he didn’t like her at all and regretted the siring? Her confession of love could drive him to put her out into the cold night to fend for herself…not that she couldn’t. She was a Summers girl and her mother had always taught her self reliance. But that had been when she was human. She knew what it’d take to survive in the human world then. She knew nothing about the vampire world. If Spike put her out…she didn’t think she’d survive…
Spike frowned at the spark of fear he spotted in her eyes. He didn’t like that at all. What could make her feel afraid of him? Why? If only he dared to give her his heart fully and without reservations…if only he could take the first step and forget his own fears of a shattered heart that would send him to his final death most likely.

“What?” He asked, pulling her close. Again, he was struck with the need for her to feel comfortable and secure with him.
Buffy looked down from his inquisitive stare. This was it. It was time to throw all fears to the wind and tell Spike how she really felt about him. If he left her because of it…well, she’d have no choice but to go back to her friends and beg them to take care of her. “I…Spike…ever since the first time I fed from you…my feelings have been growing and deepening. Now, they’ve grown so big…I can’t hold them anymore. I mean, I’ve never felt this strongly for anyone, not even…well…what I’m trying to tell you is that…I…” to her embarrassments, the words were stuck. They wanted to come out, they really did, but a wave of fear washed over her and it was making it difficult for the words to burst from her throat. She looked at him helplessly, knowing that he was patiently waiting.
“Buffy, what is it?” Spike asked, pushing a golden strand away from her eyes, that shone with fear and trepidation. Whatever this was about, it had the slayer scared. “You can tell me, baby. Anything at all. Promise I won’t be mad.”
Buffy couldn’t help the relieved smile that curved her lips as some of her fear faded away. His reassurance made her feel more secure in her place by his side. Maybe he did love her back…somehow she doubted that…but there was always hope. She would wait if she had to. She just wanted him to know. “I…I love you Spike…no. I’m in love with you. I’m more in love with you than I’ve ever been with anyone. You’re all I think about. You’re in my dreams and when I’m awake, all I want to do is bury myself in your arms and forget about everything else. I know this has nothing to do with the sire/childe bond. I know it for a fact. You don’t have to love me back. It’d be nice if you did, but it’s not a requirement. I…I just wanted you to know. I love you.”
Spike was struck speechless by her confession. This was something he had never seen coming. He knew that she had grown to at least respect him…maybe even like him…but love? He hadn’t dared to hope. But there she was, in his arms confessing her love for him and that he didn’t even have to love her back, which he did of course. He always had. Even when they were mortal enemies, he had loved her. She was the most magnificent slayer he had ever fought. He loved her beauty and her grace. He loved her determination and her devotion. He loved how fighting her was never easy, that she was always a challenge, and now…he loved her for doing what he had once thought was impossible. He loved her for loving him.
“You love me?” His voice was a little above a whisper as he stared into her eyes that spoke the sincerity of her words, telling him that what she had just confessed was true. She loved him.
Buffy nodded, nervous about his reaction. He seemed so…shocked. Of course, he wasn’t the only one surprised. She was surprised by her own emotions as well. She had just came out of a relationship with one vampire…to go back into a relationship with another vampire…it was totally unexpected on her part. But she somehow knew that this was meant to be. Even if she hadn’t been almost killed by that demon and turned by Spike…sooner or later they would end up together.
“I…I love you too. I have since the first day I saw you dancing with your friends. You were everything a slayer should be and more and there was nothing I wanted more than to touch you,” Spike gently touched her cheek, brushing away a tear. “It was the true reason I couldn’t let you die. I’m in love with you Buffy. I just thank the powers that you feel the same. I couldn’t bare it if you didn’t.”
Buffy just smiled and leaned in for a kiss that cemented their growing feelings for each other. As the kiss deepened, so did their feelings. Nothing existed but each other. Buffy was lost in a world made only of Spike. Kissing him was like taking the first swim during a hot summer. It was like the first bite of ice cream. A cool drink. So easy to get lost in. Something she never wanted to end. She wanted to be in his arms forever.
Spike was also lost in the kiss. Kissing Buffy took him to new heights. Heights he had never visited with Drusilla. This thing he had with Buffy…it was real and it was deep. Nothing was going to take her away from him…not without a fight. He gasped in surprise as her hands slipped from his shoulders and slid down to where his erection pressed against the denim of his jeans. He moaned in pleasure as her hands took a firm hold of his restrained length. Not giving it any further thought, he moved his hand down her arms and up her shirt, where he slid his fingers up cool flesh just to cradle her silk-clad breasts in firm, yet gentle hands. He pressed his palm against the hardened nipples of her breast as he began to move against the hold she had on him.
She moved closer, her other hand gripping the zipper, about to free his growing erection when the loud bang of the door caused them to separate and look up at a towering Angelus, his eyes simmering with barely bridled rage. Spike was immediately up and guarding his childe. By Peaches body language, this wasn’t good. His only thought was to protect Buffy.
“Bloody hell, Angelus! Don’t you know how to knock?” Spike glared at the elder vampire, grabbing Buffy’s hand, holding it tightly as the feeling of unease grew. Something was up. Something had gotten into Angelus’s knickers and there was going to be hell to pay because of it. Normally, this wouldn’t bother Spike. He was used to Angelus’s fits of temper, if it was only himself facing Angelus’s wrath, he wouldn’t be so concerned; but it wasn’t just him. He had Buffy to protect. If she had fed from a human herself, again, he wouldn’t worry. But since she had refused, since she was only getting second hand blood from him…she wasn’t at full power and was nowhere near strong enough to face off with his grandsire, who’s angry glare was directed on her.
“Did you think you could get away with it? Come here and break vampire law?” Angelus glowered, his eyes never leaving Buffy. Staring at her as if he was peering into her soul and it had only made him hate her more. Involuntarily, she moved closer to Spike as his hand tightened around hers. This was bad and both Spike and Buffy knew it. Angelus was on a warpath. It was only a matter of who survived.
“What are you blabbering on about Peaches?” Spike stood in front of Buffy, guarding her from Angelus’s wrath the best he could. In order to reach the slayer, Angelus was going to have to come through him.
Angelus roared and was upon them, grabbing Spike by his shirt, throwing him against the wall so there was nothing standing between him and the vamped slayer. Nothing was going to stand between him and a chance to deal out the punishment that both Spike and the girl deserved. “You shouldn’t have let the bitch drink from you, Spike. You should have let her die. Now, you’re going to have to watch while I do the job I should have done the night you brought her home!”
A million thoughts ran through Spike’s mind as he saw Angelus turn to Buffy, fully vamped and ready to deal out punishment. First was that he was really going to kill her. The second one was that he was going take away something that Spike loved once again. The last thing that came to him was that Angelus had taken Dru away from him, he’d be damned before he let him take Buffy as well. Vamping out and with a ferocious roar, Spike lounged himself onto Angelus’s back, just as he was reaching for Buffy, who was frozen with a fear she had never felt before.
Buffy stood in shock. The only thing she could think of was not wanting to die again and her worry for Spike. She didn’t think he’d be able to accept her death…not after they had just discovered how deep their feelings were for one another. She tried to think of a way out of this, but nothing came. She was going to die by the hands she had once loved so much. She stared up at Angelus in his fanged glory, not ready to die, but accepting it all the same, when suddenly he was pulled back by a furious, vamped out Spike. She stood and watched as the two fought. Weakened from her feedings, Spike was barely holding his own. It was clear that he was going to die, before allowing Angelus to raise a hand against her. She had to help him somehow? Looking around, there was no signs of any wooden objects. She scanned the room, hoping to find something of use, when Spike called out to her, his voice tired and strained. He was losing. If something wasn’t done soon…it’d be her turn to face Angelus and there would be no Spike to protect her…no Spike to love.
“Buffy! Get out of here!” He ordered, keeping Angelus distracted by weakening punches.
Leave? Buffy couldn’t believe that she heard right. He wanted her to leave? She couldn’t leave! Where would she go? Who would take care of her? Her friends? The friends that hated vampires more than anything? And what of Spike? Her newly found lover? She didn’t want to leave him to what torture Angelus had planned. She couldn’t leave him. She wouldn’t.
Spike saw her disobedience as he chanced a look at her. She wasn’t about to leave him. Not of her own free will. So he did the one thing he had inwardly swore never to do.
“Buffy go now! Go home to your watcher!” His voice was strong and commanding, leaving no room for argument. He smiled in satisfaction as he saw her dart out of the room at a speed he hadn’t known that she was capable of. She was safe. His slayer was going to be back with the people he knew would take care of her and protect her. Possibly make her strong enough to take Angelus on when the time came.
“That’s my girl,” was the last thing he said before Angelus knocked him unconscious in his anger.
Staring down at his motionless grandchilde, Angelus growled. Spike had ruined everything. He had planned a wondrous torture session for the slayer, but thanks to the platinum blond menace, plans had to change. He knew that this wasn’t the last he would see of Buffy. He held the one thing that the slayer wanted more than anything. Her sire. Knowing the girl, she would eventually come back for Spike, and when she did…there was going to be hell to pay and this time, Spike will be unable to get in his way.
“Dru! Come get your boy! Prep him for the cat of nine tails! I feel like wails today!”


 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Fiction Journal

9

Buffy’s feet ached by time she collapsed on what she knew to be her watcher’s doorstep. It felt like she had been running for hours, her demon desperate to follow the orders her sire had commanded, forcing her to flee to the one place she was still so reluctant to go. There was no telling what Giles was going to do when he found out that she was a vampire now. She dreaded telling him. More tears flooded her eyes as she ran the scene through her head once again. A weakened Spike, fighting to keep her safe, his sapphire eyes pleading with her to listen to him and the flash of regret as he used the power he had over her as her sire to get her to leave him to what punishment Angelus had in mind to deal out. Leaning against the door, she tried to stop crying. She had to get a clear head before sunrise so she could do what was needed to get Spike away from Angelus somehow. She knew it was going to be next to impossible…especially if she didn’t feed from humans. She closed her eyes, realizing that if she was to get Spike back, that was exactly what she was going to have to do. There was no other way. To defeat two master vampires, she was going to have to be at full strength as a vamped slayer. There was no other alternative.

One thing was obvious. If she was going to start feeding from humans for this…she couldn’t stay on Giles’s doorstep. It was probably best that she stay as far away from her watcher and friends as possible. She was about to cross a line, a line where there was going to be no return. In order to save the man she loved…she was going to finally let go of what had been her life. This very night, she was going to let Buffy the slayer die and Buffy the vampire live. She hated it, but this was the way it had to be. She had just found Spike. She couldn’t let him die. Not because of her. She got to her feet and took a step away from the door when the door flew open and a shocked gasp of disbelief drew her attention away from her destination…

“Good Lord. Buffy?” Giles stared at the back of the girl he had trained for over a year now…the girl he had grown to love as a daughter…the girl he had thought to be dead.

Don’t look. That was what she told herself. Don’t turn around and look or you’ll never leave and Spike will be lost to you forever. Besides. You’re not the same Buffy anymore. You’re the thing he hates now. Turn your back and leave. But she couldn’t. The part of her that’s been crying out for her father figure wouldn’t let her. Slowly, she turned around and looked upon Giles with tear-filled eyes. Her mouth opened slightly in devastated grief as she saw how haggard he appeared. He looked the same as he did when Jenny was killed.

“Giles,” She choked on her tears as she found herself rushing into her watcher’s arms, tears of relief and devastation soaking the familiar tweed material of his jacket. This was it. This was home. This was where she belonged.

“My God, Buffy. We’ve been so worried about you, it’s been weeks! Where have you been? What happened? Are you ok? Did they hurt you?” Giles held the girl close, his chest filling up with relief and complete happiness. This was the one thing he had dared not hope for. Buffy, the girl he had sworn total devotion to was back where she belonged, alive and as beautiful as ever.

Buffy sniffed, pushing back the dread that rose in her chest. She didn’t know how she was going to explain all that had happened…being turned, feeding from Spike, discovering that she still held her soul and that she loved Spike beyond anything she had known…how could she tell the man who had trained her the best he could that it hadn’t been enough and she was now what she hunted? She could see it now. His devastation and disappointment that she had allowed such a stupid thing to happen to her.

“Giles…please…can I come in please…I just,” her voice faded as a wave of weakness swept through her. She inwardly cursed as she realized how long it had been since her last feeding and the strength of Spike’s blood was beginning to fade. This was so not of the good. She didn’t feel hungry…she just felt unsteady…weak.

Giles steadied her as he felt her about to slip from his arms. Concerned gripped him The girl seemed to have been weakened. He was just going to have to fix that somehow. He scooped her up in his arms. “Come in and let me fix you up, Buffy. You must be terribly hungry. My Lord, where have you been all this time? We were fearing the worse…”

“Giles…I can’t…my mom. I need my mom. Can you call her?” Buffy asked, wanting to put off explaining what had happened to her as long as possible. All she wanted to do right now is sleep and perhaps dream of a way to rescue Spike. Now that she was somewhere secure and safe…she could plan. Find a way that wouldn’t go against her morals, but at the same time would get Spike to safety.

Giles opened his mouth as if to protest. He wanted to get down to the bottom of what had happened to his slayer as soon as possible, but something told him not to push. Whatever had happened, Buffy will tell him in her own good time. Right now, the important thing was getting her to Joyce. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll take you home. You may be more comfortable in your own room.”

Being sure not to release the girl in his arms, he retrieved the keys from the board on the door and headed for his car. As quickly as possible, he placed Buffy in the car and they were off, destination Summer’s residence. Joyce’s prayers were about to be answered.

~*~

Joyce sat in the dark kitchen, a glass of scotch in hand. She wasn’t really a heavy drinker…well…not before her daughter’s disappearance anyway. Since then, she drowned her worries and grief in the relief the amber liquid offered her. Sometimes she’d forget that she had ever been a mother…but nights like these, when the darkness was unending and thoughts of her little girl ran rampant…she couldn’t help the depression that fell upon her. No amount of alcohol would get rid of the dull ache. It only made it worse.

A sharp knock at the door roused her from her stupor, calling her to unwanted attention. Sighing, Joyce forced herself to her feet. She wondered who was at her door now and what they wanted. She would have just ignored the insistent knock, but her worries that it might be a client from the gallery propelled her forward and to the door. Gripping the cold metal of the knob, she closed her eyes against the wish that it would be her daughter on the other side with a hug and an apology for making her worry so. She had dreamed it so many times…she was praying that perhaps, it would come true. Like one of those prophetic dreams her daughter usually had…what were they called? Oh yes, slayer dreams. Could she have those? Or was that something only a slayer had and not their mothers?

“Joyce! Are you there?” Giles voice called out, a worried tinge to his voice.

Joyce grimaced her distaste. If there was anyone to blame for Buffy’s disappearance, it was Rupert Giles. He had turned her innocent little girl into a warrior with a short life span. True, Buffy had said that he wasn’t her original watcher…but he was her watcher at the time of her disappearance, so full blame fell on his shoulders. If she had her way, she’d have the man jailed for corrupting a minor. Forcing the plastic smile that she used at the gallery, she opened the door just to cry out in shock, happiness, and relief. There, on her doorstep was Rupert Giles, cradling a traumatized Buffy in his arms, his own worry evident in his eyes. Joyce instantly regretted the unkind thoughts she had about the man. He may have been responsible for Buffy’s late night activities, but he was also the one responsible for bringing her back home…at least she that’s how she saw it.

“Oh my god! Buffy!,” She gasped, moving to the side, her eyes not leaving the trembling form in the Englishman’s arms. “Come in! Come in! Oh my…what happened? Where did you find her?”

“My doorstep,” Giles entered, heading for the summer’s living room, placing the slayer on the couch, where he sat on one side of her and Joyce on the other, her glass of scotch forgotten.

“Where was she all this time?” Joyce rubbed her daughter’s arms, worried over how Buffy seemed to be refusing to look at either her or Giles. “My goodness, she’s so cold.”

“I don’t know where she’s been. I haven’t had that much time to question her. She was on my doorstep and she requested to be brought to you,” Giles frowned, trying to convey a sense of strength instead of wallowing in his own worries for his charge. “I fear that she’s been traumatized.”

Joyce just frowned as she examined her daughter for any injuries. She frowned as she saw the puncture wounds the side of Buffy’s neck. That wasn’t right. Those weren’t there when Buffy had left weeks ago, and why was she so pale and cold? What had really happened to her daughter?

“C-can I go to my room?” Buffy asked, feeling overwhelmingly tired. She just wanted to wrap herself in the life she used to have, just for a hour or two. Then she could explain all that had happened to her and make a plan to rescue Spike…if Angelus hadn’t killed him yet. She just couldn’t handle all the questions that the grown-ups in her life had at the moment. She needed time to rest and think. Not more questions. “Please?”

Giles looked as if he was going to argue, but Joyce spoke before a sound could leave his mouth. Her daughter was home and that was all she cared about at the moment. It probably was good for Buffy not to talk about what had happened to her at the moment. She probably needed time to regroup, and that was time that Joyce was determined to give her daughter.

“Of course, baby. Do you need Giles or me to help?” Joyce asked.

“No. I’m good. I just need…I just need sleep. I’ll tell you what happened, I promise…I just need time…”

“I know sweetie. Don’t worry. Just go upstairs and get some sleep. We’ll be here when you’re ready,” Joyce smiled, ignoring the squeak of Giles handkerchief rubbing against glass.

“Thank you,” Buffy hugged her mother, and then gave Giles a quick hug before heading up the stairs, not seeing the worried glance Joyce and Giles shared.

“What’s wrong with my daughter, Mr. Giles?”

“I do wish I had an answer to that question. I’m afraid we’re going to have to wait until Buffy feels up to sharing. I suggest we contact Willow and Xander. They’re going to want to know that she’s safe.”

Joyce just nodded before heading for the kitchen phone and another soothing drink of scotch, being sure to pour Giles a drink as well.

~*~

The clink of chains and Drusilla’s insane chatter was the sounds that brought Spike back to reality. Spike winced as he was reminded of the healing wounds that was the result of the first torture session, thanks to his grandsire. Drusilla sat with pouted lips, taking in the mess her childe was in. She could have felt sorry for William, if he hadn’t been so disobedient.

“Pretty William. All dressed in red,” Dru got up and slinked up to him, her eyes traveling over his body. She dipped a finger in a wound and licked away the blood. “So pretty in red.”

“Sodd off Dru!” Spike growled, trying to hide the pain he was in. That was what they wanted after all. Pain. Well, he’d be damned if he gave it to them.

“Now now, Spike. Is that anyway to talk to the former love of your unlife?” Angelus entered the chambers, walking up behind Dru and pulled her close to his body. “She…did love you so.”

Spike just glared at Angelus. Like he cared anymore for the loony bint. She had dumped him for her daddy after all, besides. He had Buffy, and she loved him. Not only had she told him so, he had seen it in her eyes. Eyes full of emotion that Dru’s had never contained. Giving his life for hers was never a question. Angelus could do anything to him. He didn’t care. Just as long as his slayer was safe and far away from where he was now.

“You think you’re something. Just because you sired a slayer. Just because that slayer is seemingly devoted to you. Well, let me tell you something boy,” Angelus put on leather gloves and then picked up a jeweled cross. “She better not come back here, because I’ll do more than kill her. I’ll rape her, claim her, then kill her. What I’m doing to you…it’ll pale in comparison to what I’m planning to do to her if she even thinks about coming back.” Angelus smiled as he had Dru pour holy water over the cross.

As Spike screamed in pain when Angelus pressed the holy water drenched cross to his side, Spike hoped that Buffy would forget about him. He hoped she stayed away. Angelus was a vamp of his word. If Buffy came back for him, Angelus will make sure that he made her death a slow painful one, and that was something Spike didn’t want. As much as he loved her, he hoped to never see her again. It was the only guaranteed way that she’d live a long unlife.

Archived at: Spuffy Realm

Spike/Buffy Central

Fiction Journal




10

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose as he sit with his elbows on his knees, as deep in thought as he had ever been. He hadn’t said anything…in fact…he was still hoping that his conclusions were wrong…but he had his suspicions about what had happened to his slayer in the past weeks. The paleness. Her skin, so cool to the touch…the puncture wounds on the side of her neck…there was only one conclusion he could come up with and that was that his slayer was now a vampire…the very creature she hunted. For Joyce’s sake, he had kept quiet, not to mention that it seemed very unlikely that Buffy was going to harm any of them. If she had the intention of harm, one of them wouldn’t be in this house right now.

She hadn’t seemed like a monster at all, really. She seemed like she had always been. She seemed like Buffy. Could it be that her being the slayer made her retain her soul? Good lord, was she souled? If so…why this must be a nightmare for her. He remembered the nightmare episode, where it became clear what her worst fear was. Being vamped. How did she survive? Had she been forced to feed from humans? He had so many questions that needed to be answer. He was sitting on pins and needles to find out the answers.

“Xander and Willow are on their way,” Joyce took a seat across from Giles, nervously wringing her hands. “They’re such good friends to my Buffy. She’s lucky to have them.”

“Yes. Quite so,” Giles nodded, still distracted by the questions running wild through his head. Looking at Joyce, he wondered what her reaction would be if it turned out that Buffy was among the walking dead? Would she still love her? Support her? If not…he didn’t want to think what it would do to his slayer.

A soft knock disrupted Giles’s thoughts. He watched as Joyce got to her feet and opened the door to the two people that loved Buffy just as much as he did.

“Willow. Xander,” He greeted, getting to his own feet, placing his glasses back on top his nose, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. He didn’t want no signs of happiness or sorrow to color their judgment at the moment. He wanted to prepare them for what was to come…but it was best if it all came from Buffy. Especially if he was wrong and she was still among the living.

“Hi Giles,” Willow waved, her normally shy, yet cheerful smile somber and her eyes full of sorrow.

“How’s it hanging, G-man,” Xander nodded, his eyes dim with fading hope. He had kept the faith of his friend’s safe return, but the longer she was gone…the more that hope faded.

“Do come in,” Giles stood to the side, allowing the teens entrance, yet still not revealing the fact that Buffy was home. Most likely changed forever…but home, where she belonged

“What is this about, Giles? I was in the middle of a study session for an exam tomorrow…and why did you want us to come here?” Willow asked after greeting Joyce with a hug and settling down on the loveseat, next to Xander. It wasn’t that she didn’t like seeing Giles…it was just…too many memories of Buffy. Memories that seem to just rip at her, no matter what she did to alleviate the pain.

Giles stared at Willow, a bit taken aback by her attitude. Usually, she was happy to be included in impromptu scooby meetings and doing extra research for him. At times, it seemed to be the highlight of her day, but now she acted as if he was disturbing her somehow. Like, she had no time for any of it anymore, now that she thought her friend to be gone.

Willow cringed at the hurt in Giles’s eyes. She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh…it’s just that…well…now with Buffy gone and no slayer…what was the use anymore?

“What Willow meant to say there G-man, was why the scooby meeting? Buffy hasn’t returned…has she?” Xander asked, the small tone of hope in his voice as he tried to smooth away the tension between Willow and Giles.

Giles sighed. This was not going to be easy. Telling Buffy that she was going to die at the hands of The Master was easier than this. “As a matter of fact…she has returned to us…but…I’m afraid that there may have been some changes…”

“Changes? What changes? Buffy’s ok, isn’t she? She’s still Buffy…right?” Willow asked. She’s lived on the hellmouth long enough to know that sometimes, things aren’t as normal as they may seem. If something had happened to Buffy…well…the word change…it was rather loaded.

“As far as I can tell…she’s the Buffy we all know and love…it’s just that…I rather not say. Not until I’ve had a chance to examine her some more…,” Giles cleared his throat. “Right now, she’s still sleeping and…”

“Xander. Willow.”

Buffy stood at the top of the stairs, relief and joy at being reunited with her friends evident in her eyes. She knew that things were different from before. She was no longer Buffy the vampire slayer, friend to Xander and Willow, daughter to Joyce. She was now Buffy the turned slayer and the only thing she was sure of was Spike’s love. Spike. He needed her. There was no telling what Angelus was doing to him at that moment. Time was of the essence. She was going to explain what had happened to her, hopefully recruit help, and then return for the man that loved her so much that he had given his own body for punishment than see her harmed in any way. She wasn’t going to fail Spike. She couldn’t…not after realizing her love for him and his for her…not after experiencing the taste of his lips or the feel of his body against hers. Angelus’s days were numbered and soon she’ll be in her sire’s arms once again. Nothing was going to get in the way of that. Buffy took careful steps down to her friends, who looked at her with wide tearful eyes. She smiled, feeling a bit sheepish. They must have been so worried about her…so scared. Without much more thought, she ran into their arms, tears of her own falling. She hadn’t realized just how much she had missed them until their arms pulled her close.

“Where were you,” sobbed Willow.

“I knew you weren’t dead. I just knew,” Xander chuckled. “I told them to wait. I told them you’d come back. You just needed a bit more time.”

“That’s my Xand. Never believe the worse,” Buffy smiled, pulling out of his arms. “God, I’ve missed you guys.”

“Where have you been Buffy?” Willow scooted over so Buffy could sit between herself and Xander.

Buffy looked down at her hands, the butterflies in her stomach waking up and moving around at last. This was it. The moment she’s been dreading since she had heard her friend’s voices in the living room, questioning Giles decision to call them over. It was time to share what had happened to her and what she must do now that she was home again. She didn’t think that they would understand…she wasn’t expecting them to. She could only hope that they’d accept her for what she was and her decision to be with Spike…once she rescued him.

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, Buff. We have time,” Xander forced himself not to look away from her. He had a feeling that things weren’t as right as they seemed, and looking at Giles, who just stood and cleaned his glasses relentlessly, he’d say that the feeling was right on the money.

“Do tell us Buffy. We’re all friends here,” Giles nodded, pushing back his own trepidation. He prayed that his feelings were wrong. His slayer…the girl he had grown to love as a daughter…please don’t let her be what she dreaded the most.

“Just start from the beginning,” Joyce encouraged her daughter as she entered the room, a dish towel in hand.

Buffy smiled nervously at her mother, and then looked down at her hands, wishing that Spike was there. She could use some of his strength right about now. She stifled a sob at the thought of her sire. She wondered where he was at that moment…what Angelus was doing to him. She tried to reach out numerous times through the childe/sire bond, just to find the way blocked. Obviously, he was protecting her, from what he was going through…but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Buffy?” Willow touched her friend’s hand, concerned by the sudden silence and the gleam of unshed tears in the slayer’s eyes. “It’s ok. Whatever it is…we won’t judge. I promise.”

“Right. We’re here for you Buff,” Xander nodded his agreement.

Her lips trembled as she forced a smile. These were her friends. They loved her. They wouldn’t turn her away. They’ll deal and then…they’ll help her get Spike back and destroy Angelus somehow. She was sure of it. After all…that’s what friends do.

Buffy took a deep breath and then met eyes with Giles and held his gaze. She would need his strength for this, since Spike’s was unavailable at the moment.

“You remember how slow patrol had been a few weeks back, right? Hardly a vampire to be found. Well…I suppose I wasn’t really paying that much attention. I was patrolling the cemetery…as usual. I didn’t find any vampires…but I did find a demon smashing up a crypt. I couldn’t just let it get away with destroying someone’s resting place…so I did my thing…it did it’s thing…and I ended up with a claw in the gut and was left to die, bleeding on the grass.”

“Oh my god,” Joyce gasped, the dishtowel falling from her hand. Again, she thought of how she hated her daughter’s life. This slaying thing was going to kill Buffy sooner or later…she wished there was something she could do to stop that from happening…such as forcing Buffy to quite the slayer business all together. Let Rupert find someone else to fight his monsters.

“Buffy,” Willow gasped in fear for her friend. Fear that was a little late, now that the ordeal seemed to be over and Buffy was safe and sound…but still…she must have been so scared.

“It’s ok, Wills. I’m fine,” Buffy reassured the frowning red-head, who now had a tight hold of her arm. Dear, sweet Willow. Buffy couldn’t ask for a better friend.

Giles cleared his throat, feeling that there was more to this sordid tale. There were so many questions still left unanswered, such as why it took so long for her to return to them. Where had she been all this time? Most importantly…how did she survive the attack? Had she survive it?

“Buffy…you don’t look as if you’ve been attacked by a demon. If I may say so myself, you look pretty much whole…if not pale. Do tell us the rest,” the squeak of cloth against glass was the only sound as silence descended. The question had been asked. In only a matter of time, it’ll be answered.

Buffy looked away from her family and friends. She got to her feet and stood in the middle of the room, her arms clutching her shoulders as she faced the inquisitive stares. This was going to be harder…much harder than she had originally thought. How could she make them understand? How can she expect them to accept her and her sire? How could she expect them to help her in getting Spike back? All she could do was trust that they wouldn’t stake first and ask questions later. It was her trust in them that kept her from fleeing the house all together.

“About that…well…you see…I…I didn’t exactly survive. I was just laying there, minding my own business…which was dying I suppose…when who came out of nowhere ranting about that ho of a girlfriend of his…”

“Spike,” Giles spat, his eyes heated with contempt. He should have known that blond menace had something to do with this. If he ever saw that creature again…

“Yes. Spike,” her voice quivered as she said the name, her mind going back to the last time she saw him, struggling with Angelus…to save her…”Spike came. He…he blamed the thing with Dru on me and…well…he figured out that I was dying. He thought it wasn’t a suitable death for a slayer…so…he turned me.”

Again, silence filled the room. Everyone just stared at her in horrified shock…all except for Giles, who had his suspicions the first time she flew into his arms and he came in contact with cool skin. His suspicions were now confirmed. Now it was time to explore whether she had retained her soul and if she had ever fed from a human. What if she was soulless? What if she had fed off humans? Would he be strong enough to do the right thing by her? Would Joyce even let him?

“Wait a minute,” Xander got to his feet with a nervous laugh, hoping that he had heard incorrectly. “You were burned? How were you burned? Unless you’re talking about…”

“She said turned, Xand,” Willow’s voice was low and a bit apologetic, knowing that she was denying her friend his state of denial, but the situation called for all senses to be present. Buffy…her friend…her protector…she was now one of the very creatures she feared most.

“Guys, I know that it seems bad…believe me, I was all down with the bad as well…”

“I’d say,” Xander snorted.

“Quiet,” Giles snapped, his patience about to break. This was important. In the next few minutes, a decision will be made. To dust, or not to dust. There was no time for silly shenanigans.

“Xander…Giles…I know that you’re freaked. I was freaked too, but it’s not as bad as it seems. I…I still have my soul. Somehow…I retained it. Don’t ask me how or why…Spike said it was because…I‘m the slayer. It‘s permanent, so there‘s no happiness clause. I‘m safe.”

“Yes, of course. I should have known,” Giles sighed, relieved that his earlier fears were now laid to rest, and how silly they were. He had read in his early studies of vamped slayers and how they had killed their sires before killing themselves as well. How could he have been so forgetful. Getting old, Rupert, old man. Forgetting studies when they were the most useful, he chided himself.

“So you’re still Buffy?” Willow asked hopefully.

“New and improved Buffy with extra super strength…that is if I feed properly. Haven’t done that since I was turned, not even when Spike…,” her eyes grew round again with grief as her mind returned to Spike and why he was in such danger. All because of her…all because he wanted to take care of her. “Oh god, Giles! Spike! You have to help me! You have to help me get to him!”

“Of course we will, Buff. That blood sucker is going to pay for what he did to you,” Xander nodded with steely determination, visions of Jesse flashing through his head. Ever since Jesse’s death, Xander had sworn that he wouldn’t let another friend be vamped without proper retribution. Spike was going to pay for turning Buffy.

“No! No, you don’t understand. I don’t mean kill Spike…I mean…,” Buffy sighed, looking away from her friends, not feeling the comforting weight of her mother’s arms wrapping around her. “I want you to help me…god, you won’t understand…I don’t know why…I should never have come here…”

“Baby, don’t say that. We’re glad you came here, and whatever it is, we’ll understand. We’ll help anyway we can,” Joyce stroked her daughter’s hair, glaring at Giles and the two teenagers that claimed to be her daughter’s friends. It was time for them to start living up to that meaning. She dared them to contradict her. “Now tell us, what’s going on. What do you want us to do?”

Buffy rubbed away her tears, not daring to look up at her friends and find the disgust and loathing that was bound to be there when she told them that she had somehow fallen in love with her sire and that she wanted to rescue him from Angelus’s wrath. “When Angelus found out that Spike had turned me…he wasn’t happy. I should have known that he would be keeping an eye on us. I should have insisted that we leave the mansion and find a new place…but…” She was flustered. She didn’t know where to begin. How could she make them understand? How could she make them want to help rescue the vampire that had turned her? She just couldn’t see how.

“Just start from where you feel most comfortable,” Giles stepped up next to Joyce and took his slayer’s hand, lending his strength. He didn’t care if she was a vampire. She was still his Buffy, and that was all that mattered. Whatever she wanted to do…he’ll support her full heartedly. No questions asked.

Buffy sniffed. This was going to be hard, but already she had the support of two of the most important people in her life. As long as she had them…she’d be ok. Even if Willow and Xander decided to walk away.

“It’s all because I wouldn’t feed from humans. Spike tried to get me to hunt, but I had refused. Then he’d hunt for me and bring them to the lair…still, I refused to feed off of humans. Period. Nothing he would say, do, or even threaten would get me to take that final step to becoming…becoming what I am now. He wasn’t happy with me in the least. But he cared…he cared about me so much that he let me feed from him.”

“What?” Giles’s eyes widened in shock. He had read up on vampire lore, and feeding from another vampire for food was expressingly forbiddened. It was punishable by death. For Spike to do such a thing…what had he been thinking? If Angelus had found out…as head of the line…Buffy could have been killed!

“I take it you know that it’s forbiddened for a vampire to feed off another vampire,” Buffy sighed, not bothering to look away from her watcher, knowing tht if he looked hard enough, he’d see the love she held for Spike, the heartache that just knowing he was in pain because of her was causing her. “When I fed from Spike…I saw things…I saw him. His past, and let me tell you, William The Bloody, not what you think it means, but anyway…I saw his past. I saw his present…I saw his heart and Giles…it was so full of love and devotion and loyalty and fear to give that to anyone else. Dru had trampled all over his heart, and all I wanted to do was take care of it…to heal it…Giles…mom…guys. Seeing all of that…I couldn’t help it. I fell in love with him. I know it was fast, and I know you probably think it’s the sire/childe bond, but it’s not. It’s something way above that. I love Spike…and he loves me. He’s who I want to be with.”

“Can I just be the first one to say…ew,” Xander raised his hand, his face a mixture of dismay and disgust. He hated Spike and to think that his best friend had feelings for the guy…it just…he just couldn’t fathom it.

“Xander…you don’t understand…you don’t know him. Not like I do.”

“Buffy…you said that you needed our help. Maybe you should explain what you mean by that,” Giles sighed, not wanting to get in the middle of a debate of why Buffy should or should not love a vampire that seemed to have caused her nothing but harm.

Giles was right. She was just wasting valuable time arguing with Xander. Taking a deep breath, Buffy continued. “Some how, Angelus found out that I was feeding from Spike. So tonight, he came to our chambers to I guess give me my punishment. Things didn’t go as he planned, because Spike attacked him first and then ordered me to run. At first I wasn’t going to go anywhere…I was going to try to help. I wasn’t at full strength, but I wasn’t about to stand there and let Angelus hurt Spike. But then…somehow Spike forced me leave. He told me to run home, run to where they’ll take care of me. The next thing I know, I’m crying on Giles’s doorstep. Oh god, and Spike…he’s at Angelus’s mercy! I’ve tried reaching out to him through the bond, but he’s blocking me. Who knows what Angelus is doing to him and it’s all my fault!” Buffy wailed in despair, all her emotions tumbling down on her, as she leaned into her mother’s embrace. “Please, help me…help me get him out of there! I can’t leave him there! I can’t…I love him so much!”

Giles stroked the girl’s hair and sighed, his own heart tight with sadness for the sobbing young woman. If only Buffy was at her full strength as a turned slayer…but she wasn’t. She was going to need human blood if she had any hope of rescuing Spike from Angelus. “You can’t possibly defeat Angelus as you are now. You’ll need to feed off of human blood,” Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. “There’s no way of getting around that. Especially right now, when you’re…well…a fledgling really. “

“What are you saying? That if I want to save Spike, I’ll have to kill?” Buffy’s eyes widened in horror, along with bursts of protests from Xander and Willow. “Giles, I can’t! I’m still the slayer. I protect humans, not…eat them!”

“Do you want to save Spike?” Giles asked, wanting to see just how far she’d go to save her sire. Most childer would go the distance…but what if that childe was a ensouled vamped slayer? What would win out? Her lust for this creature, or her morals as the slayer.

“Yes, but there has to be another way…something other than killing humans! Spike and I…we didn’t really have a chance to explore it, but there has to be something twice as good as human blood!”

Giles sighed, again rubbing at his eyeglasses. “There is. Slayer’s blood. Another option that is not possible. Drusilla killed Kendra, and we have yet to know if another slayer had even been called, not to mention the repercussions of your being vamped…”

Tears of despair now fell from Buffy’s eyes, her hope beginning to dim. There was going to be no other choice. She was going to have to kill a human to save Spike and most likely leave her old life here in her mother’s house, surrounded by watcher, family, and friends far behind. But that was ok. She’d deal. Just as long as she had Spike by her side. “There’s no choice is there?”

Giles’s heart broke. She sounded so sad…so lost. He’d move heaven and hell to keep her, and somehow he knew that if she killed a human…he’d lose her forever. So he was going to have to find a way to help Buffy. Keep her from killing, while helping her free…Spike. He fought the grimace that just the name itself brought to his face. Needless to say that he wasn’t happy with her choice…but it was her choice to make and he wouldn’t take that away from her. She’s lost too much as it is.

“Shhh, my dear girl. You must be exhausted and the sun will be up soon. Go to your room and get some sleep. We’ll stay down here and brainstorm,” He pulled her into a hug, feeling every much the father he wish he could be.

“But Giles…”

“Buff, go ahead,” Xander nodded, noticing the clear exhaustion in her eyes. “Go to sleep. We’ll research.”

Buffy sighed in resignation. It was fruitless to argue. For now…she’ll leave operation rescue Spike in the hands of her friends. They obviously weren’t going to take no for an answer. “Fine. But if you come up with something…come get me. Deal?”

The small group nodded and watched the exhausted vampiress head up to her room. Once they were sure she was gone, they exploded in a series of arguments and exclamations. Xander wanted to forget about Spike and help Buffy deal. Willow wanted to help get Spike back for Buffy. Giles wanted to take care of his slayer, and Joyce…she just wanted her daughter to smile again, and if that meant her being with this Spike…well then so be it.

“So what’s the plan? I mean…we aren’t really planning to go rescue Spike are we? Because…well, come on. It’s Spike,” Xander looked at Giles, wondering what was going through the Englishman’s mind at the moment. “I mean…the guy’s tried to kill us all at one time or another.”

“But it’s what Buffy wants. We can’t just leave him there. I mean…if we don’t help, then she’ll go by herself and you heard Giles. She can’t defeat Angelus on her own…not without feeding on humans,” Willow nervously wrung her hands. “I think we should help her, and I know how we can.”

“Willow?” Giles came to attention.

“She can feed off us…not enough to kill, of course.”

“But how would that work? I mean…wouldn’t it have to be a whole person?” Xander asked.

“I think enough blood from each one of us would be enough to equal to one person. What do you think Giles?”

“Willow…you may be right. But we’ll have to run it pass Buffy. She’s not going to like it.”

“But she’ll do it if we reassure her that there’s no danger,” Willow grinned, excited that she had found a way to help her friend.

“You know…it’s a crazy idea…crazy enough to work,” a slow smile inched it’s way across Giles face. “We’ll present the idea to Buffy after she awakens. She’ll be able to think more clearly then.”

The small group stood in the middle of the room, talking over the plan, dispelling reservations and building up resolve. They were determined to do this thing for Buffy…even if they thought that the rescue mission was a waste of time.

~*~

Angelus circled Spike as he was still hanging from the ceiling. Drusilla stood to the right, a hot poker in hand, and an insanely eager gleam in her eye. She couldn’t help the maniacal giggle that rose from her throat at the thought of causing her childe even more pain for his disobedience.

“I’ll ask you again, Spike. Where did you send your little bitch off too. You’re wasting my time and I don’t like my time to be wasted. While I’m torturing you…I could be giving the bitch what she so rightfully deserves. Stop being such a fool, boy! Where is she?!” Angelus now stood face to face with Spike, who slowly looked up at his grandsire, who glared hatefully at the other vampire.

“Wonderland,” Spike laughed as Angelus roared with anger and barked an order at Dru. The laugh turned to a howl of pain as Dru plunged the hot poker into Spike’s side.

“Now. I’m going to ask you again. If I don’t like the answer…well…that hot poker will contain holy water next time. Now. Where is Buffy?”

“Toledo,” Spike panted, preparing for the pain, but nothing prepared him for what came next. As they tortured him, Spike again sent Buffy a message to stay away…to leave Sunnydale if necessary. Any hope for himself…it was completely gone. The only hope he contained was that his childe…the woman who held his heart would survive. As long as Buffy lived…nothing else mattered.