Spike stepped off the train and lit a smoke. Inhaling deeply he took a look around. There wasn’t much to see and from the strange looks he was getting he could tell he wasn’t going to fit in at all.

He’d just arrived in Sunnydale. He shuddered at the towns name, it was upbeat and perky, everything he wasn’t. His mother had sent him to live hear with a friend of hers from college. They’d kept in touch over the years and the friendship was still strong, so when his mom, Jenny, had told Joyce how much trouble her son was getting into in England, Joyce had stepped in and offered to house him until his studies where completed. Spike had been kicked out of every highschool that he’d been too and nowhere back home would take him now.

“Excuse me, are you William Calendar?” a soft voice asked.

He shot his smoke to the floor and put it out with his boot. “S’ me.”

The woman smiled. She had a pretty face even though she was much older and a nice smile. He liked her right away. She put out her hand. “I’m Joyce Summers, I’ve heard so much about you William.”

He shook her hand gently and offered her a small smile. “I go by Spike now Miss Summers.”

“Well Spike” she grimaced at the nickname “Let’s get you out of here and get you unpacked so you can enjoy the summer before school starts.” Jenny had sent Spike over early in hopes that he would make friends before starting his senior year.

He simply nodded and picked up his two huge duffel bags and she picked up the smaller one, they walked in silence to her car. He listened as she talked on the way to her house. She told him about her daughter Buffy and about the house rules.

He liked the way she spoke to him, like he was her equal instead of just some punk kid she had to put up with. She pulled into the driveway and handed him a set of keys.

“These are for you Spike. I’ve got to go to the grocery store, do you mind letting yourself in? I won’t be long at all.”

“S’alright Joyce, I’ll be fine. Which room am I in?”

“Your room is in the basement, it’s fully finished though, no concrete floors.”

Spike laughed and thanked her as he got out of the car. “Let me know when your back, I’ll help you unload the car.”

Joyce smiled and drove away. Spike turned around and sighed. 1630 Revello drive, my new home he thought as he walked to the door and unlocked it.

Stepping in he took a look around. It was a nice place, very homey looking. He grabbed his bags and lugged them downstairs. It was a decent place, he’d go get some paint tomorrow and paint on the weekend.

He’d just finished putting all his clothes and stuff away when he heard some yelling coming from the outside. He took the steps two at a time and slammed open the front door. The first thing he saw was an over-sized nancy boy, the second thing he saw was a girl with blonde hair huddled on the floor holding her face with both hands, the third thing he saw was red. Without a second thought he threw a punch to the poofters face and sent him flying down the stairs. He jumped off the porch and grabbed the guy by his shirt and dragged him to the curb.

“Come near that girl again and I’ll kill you you wanker.” he snarled as he watched the bigger man run and turned his attention to the quietly crying girl.

“You alright?” he asked and knelt down beside her. When she didn’t answer he put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up so that he could see her, even though she kept the right side of her face hidden behind her hair.

Spike thought his heart had stopped. She had large green eyes, soft, red lips and her hair was like gold. She was tanned a golden brown and she was petite. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

“I’m assuming your Buffy, right?”

She nodded her head and gave him a small, bitter smile. “You must be William, well William, welcome to Sunnyhell.”

“Thanks. My friends call me Spike by the way.”he said, offering her a hand up which she ignored. She stood up and looked him in the eyes. He noticed the large welt forming on her cheek now that her hair had been moved slightly and winced. If he ever saw that bloke again there would be hell to pay. He didn’t tolerate men who hit woman.

“I’m not your friend William.”she stated coldly and walked into the house.

Spike sighed, this was gonna be a long year. Too bad she wasn’t his type though, he liked her spunk.

He could hear water running in the kitchen and walked in.

"S'he your boyfriend?"

"Ya."

"Does he do that alot?"

"That's none of your fucken buisness."

She wrung out the cloth she'd been soaking in cold water and held it to her face.

"It is when I'm the one who's trying to help."

She narrowed her eyes. "Trying to help? TRYING TO HELP?" she yelled. "All you've done is probably made it worse."

"Why do you stay with him?" he asked, not caring that this line of questioning was royally pissing her off.

"I said it's none of your fucken business."

Just then the back door opened and Joyce walked in, stopping cold when she saw the mark on Buffy's face. Spike could see the panic in her eyes.

"What happened?" Joyce demanded.

Buffy just stood there, frozen.

"S' my fault Joyce. I was rummaging through my bags and i went to toss a book on my bed, I didn't know Buffy had come downstairs to introduce herself. The book hit her."

Joyce visibly relaxed. "Well spike, accidents happen. I have some advil upstairs, I'll go get you some sweetie. It will help with the swelling."

Once she was out of the room Buffy looked up at him. "Thank you." she whispered.

"Not a problem pet."

"It doesn't make us friends though."
And with that she walked upstairs leaving behind a frustrated Spike.

Special thanx to Nic (smitten) for all those reviews, they really inspired me!!!



Spike tossed and turned, it was after three in the morning but he couldn’t sleep. He’d slept on the train and it was way too hot here. Throwing on a pair of boxers he got out of bed and went to get a drink from the kitchen. He walked to the fridge and poured himself a glass of water. He decided to step outside and sit on the back porch swing, at least there was a breeze outside. He sat down and lost himself in his thoughts.

Why do I even care about her? I don’t know her and she’s obviously retarded. Why the fuck else would she stay with a wanker like that? Pretty l’il chit though. She’s definitely got an attitude problem. Why are the pretty ones always stupid? She doesn’t want a friend, that’s fine with me. I’m not gonna go out of my way to get her to like me.


He was so deep in thought that he didn’t see the blonde peeking at him from behind the kitchen door.

She sighed deeply. She shouldn’t have been so rude to him, she knew that. But what was done was done. Besides, something about him set her on edge, gave her shivers. He was brave, she’d give him that. She’d never seen anyone stand up to Angel before. Hope rushed through her for a second but she pushed it out, he wouldn’t help her, no one could. She looked at him carefully. He was hot in that “punky” kind of way. Bleached blond hair worn slicked back. Deep blue eyes, amazing cheekbones. She couldn’t see his chest because of how he was sitting but from the looks of his cut arms she knew his abs must be just as nice. He must be stupid though, taking on a guy twice his size. Why are the pretty ones always stupid she asked herself as she walked back up the stairs.


Spike woke up at ten. He’d only slept for 5 hours and he was cranky. He dragged himself upstairs and into a cold shower. He really wasn’t used to this kind of heat so he left the water ice cold. After getting dressed he went to find Joyce. He found her rushing around the living room, searching for something.

“Can I help you Joyce?”

“I cant find my car keys and I have to leave for the airport ASAP.” She replied frantically. Spike took a quick look around and spotted them on the bookcase. Handing them to her he asked “Where you off too?”

“Oh sweetie I’m sorry. I have to go away on business for a week. I’ll be back next Saturday. I can cancel if your not comfortable though.”

“Don’t worry I’ll be fine” he assured her with a small laugh. “I’m seventeen not seven.”

Joyce laughed too. “I know, I just worry. Are you okay for money?”

“I’ll be fine, I have a bank card and an inheritance from a dead grand-da that should see me through life.”

Joyce nodded, she recalled Jenny telling her about her fathers passing. Jenny had also been given a large sum and had given Joyce some money to take care of the expenses of having her son stay there.

“Allright then I’ll see you next week. Don’t get into trouble.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and ran out the door.


He knew that the mall was only about a twenty minute walk from their house so he grabbed his keys and went in search of it, in hopes of getting his paint.



Buffy got out of bed late and woke up to an empty house. She went to the bathroom to take a shower. She stripped off her clothes making sure not to look at her legs, she wouldn’t cry today.


Spike was in the hardware store and he must have looked incredibly lost because a guy about his age came up and offered him help.

“Hey there, need help finding something?”

“Ya, do you work here?”

“No but I like to fix stuff up. I’m a carpenter. Just like Jesus but less with the holy and divine and more with the clumsy and oafish. I’m here a lot though so I can probably bring you to the right section.” The boy exclaimed.

Spike laughed and took an immediate liking to the guy. He wasn’t a “bad boy” by nature, he’d just fallen into the wrong crowd in England.

“Thanks mate, m’names Spike and I’m looking for some paint.”

“Xander and I can bring you there.” He smiled. “So are you new in town?”

“Ya I just got here yesterday. I’m staying with the Summers family.”

Xanders eyes widened. “Buffy and Joyce. I thought someone named William was supposed to be staying with them.”

“Spikes not my birth name whelp.” Spike teased.

Xander laughed. “I suppose not. Buffy and I are good friends, we met through Willow, our mutual best friend.” Spike thought he saw Xanders eyes light up at the name Willow but didn’t want to push.

“Ya well her and I don’t seem to mix.”

“Well that’s to bad cuz I’m gonna make sure you hang with us, theres not enough testosterone with me being the only male around those two girls.”

Spike laughed again, maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad here afterall.

“So have you met Angel yet?”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“Buffy’s college boyfriend. Real asshole, gives me the creeps.”

“I kicked his ass the other day, he hit Buffy.”

Xander frowned. “I’ve been begging her to leave him but she says she can’t. He’s done that before. I tried to take him on once but I got my ass kicked. She said if I went to the police she’d deny everything.”

Spike frowned. “Well then mate, it looks like it’s up to us to bring this prick down.”

Xander liked him. Anyone against Angel was a friend of his and he seemed like a decent guy. I wonder why he had to leave England? What could he have done? He didn’t let himself think too much about it, Spike would talk when he was ready. He had a feeling they would be good friends. He also thought maybe he could give him some advice about a girl he liked and how to get her.







“So Wills what are we up to tonight?”
“I thnk we should bronze it Buffy, not much else to do here.” Willow replied. “Oh wait, I have another line.
Buffy waited a minute before Willow came back. “That was Xander, he said he just met some guy named Spike, he invited him to the bronze tonight with us. Oh did you meet William yet?” she asked. Oh fuck Buffy thought before taking a deep breath and explaining the prior days events to Willow. Willow knew everything about her and Angel and hated him, but she couldn’t convince Buffy to go to the police. All Buffy would ever reply was “it doesn’t matter, no one else could want me now.”

Willow knew she was talking about the scars when she said that but couldn’t convince Buffy that it didn’t matter. She hated that her friend wouldn’t get help but understood it too. Buffy may be strong but she was also human, and she was scared. Willow would just keep trying to do what she could to get Angel out of her best friends life. After listening to her friends retailing of yesterday she couldn’t help but think that maybe there was an angel in her friends basement.



Please review....let me know what you all think!

BuffyandSpikeForever, Mariana, Caitie and Seraiza thanx for your reviews!


Xander drove Spike home and offered to help him paint when he saw a flash of red hair fly by the living room.

“That’d be great mate, can use all the help I can get. Especially if I want to be ready to go out by nine tonight.”

“That’s what friends are for.” Xander replied casually and Spike smiled. They got the supplies out of the trunk and loaded their arms. When they got to the door Spike struggled to get his keys from his pockets, which was hard to do when your arms are full. Thankfully a cute little red haired girl opened the door wearing a sweet smile. She grabbed some stuff from each of their arms and talked while they dropped the supplies by the basement door.

“Hi Xander.” She said looking at their now mutual friend “hello Spike, I’m Willow. Friend extraordinaire to Buffy and Xan. Maybe to you too now.” She finished and shook his hand.

Spike was in love with her in a completely platonic way. Just like the Summers woman he felt the massive need to protect this girl.

“Nice to meet you Red, I’m sure well get along just fine.” The use of the new nickname and the added wink made her blush crimson. Something Xander didn’t miss.

“Buffy’s upstairs, do you guys want some help painting?”

“I don’t think Buffy would want to help pet, her and I don’t seem to get along just yet.” Spike explained.

“Oh that wont matter, Buffy’s great with art, if you want a mural done she’s the one to ask. You should check out the one in her room when your not nemesis.” Willow finished with a laugh and ran upstairs to get her friend.

Spike and Xander just looked at each other and walked to Spikes new room. The basement was huge and it had 3 large windows. It was handy so they could actually see what they were doing. Spike shot Xan a pair of shorts and a wifebeater and pointed him in the direction of the bathroom to change. He stayed in the open to do so figuring the girls wouldn’t be down for a while, he was wrong. As soon as his pants were down Buffy came bounding the stairs. She stood there like a dear in headlights and he did the same. After a minute he snapped out of it and pulled his shorts on lightning fast.

‘Okay Buffy, it’s no big. You’ve seen naked guys before. Well A naked guy at least, don’t say something stupid.’ Buffy mentally lectured herself.

“Wow” was what she spit out. ‘Fuck’

Spike just smirked. “Like what you see pet?”

“What I meant to say was ‘wow’, your incredibly pasty smart ass.” She retorted. ‘Oh my god, he’s so bi…’ Buffy didn’t have the time to finish that thought because Xander came out of the bathroom just as Willow came down the stairs.

“So gang ready to paint?”

Everyone looked at Xander and laughed. He was wearing hawaiin shorts that were almost as bright as the sun.

Spike and Buffy shared one last look before she broke the eye contact and started opening the paint cans. She was surprised at the choice of colors. She’d been expecting black, but he’d chosen two shades of blue. Navy and pale. They were actually really nice.

While they painted everyone chatted amiably except for Buffy and Spike, who just kept insulting each other.

“I’m going to get some drinks.” The two blondes said at the same time.

“Oh, I’ll have one please.” Willow said and Xander agreed that he was thirsty as well.

Spike and Buffy walked upstairs to the fridge. Buffy turned around and looked at him. Even though he had a shirt on that was hiding his killer abs she knew they were there and it unnerved her, so she did the only thing she could think of. She insulted him.

“You know you might do us all a favor and wipe the sweat off of you. It looks like your leaking, it’s gross.”

Spike quirked an eyebrow, took the paint brush he was holding and swiped a small section of it across Buffy’s face. “You know you might do us all a favor and relax a bit pet.” He said and walked back to his room with the drinks on a tray, leaving behind a pissed off Buffy.

‘Who the fuck does he think he is?’ she inwardly fumed. ‘Just cuz he helped me out yesterday he thinks he can talk to me that way. God I hate him and his chiselled abs.’ “Eeep, bad thoughts Buffy.” She said to herself in a whisper, ‘besides he’s just another guy. On the bright side he’ll be gone in a year.’ She sighed and went to the bathroom to wash the paint of her face.


“So Spike, wheres Buffy? You killed her didn’t you?” Xander teased his new friend.
Spike smiled. “No mate, just painted her pretty face a lovely shade of blue.”

Willow put down her brush and sighed. “She’s gonna be exfoliating for at least twenty minutes, I should go keep her company. You guys are almost done anyway.” She said and walked up the stairs to go find Buffy.

Xander turned and looked at Spike, about to say something but the blond cut him off.

“Red’s off limits, I know. You don’t have to tell me. So when you gonna make your move Casanova?”

Xander laughed. “I would but I don’t think she’s into me like that buddy.”

Spike snorted. “Are all Americans stupid or just the ones I meet?”

“Hey….” Xander started.

“Look mate no offense was meant” , Xander relaxed, “I just meant that she’s into you, it’s obvious. You should ask her to dance tonight at the Bronze.”

“I just might.” Xander replied softly, thankful to find such a good friend so fast in the foreigner.


Willow reached the bathroom and could hear Buffy talking on the portable before she walked in. Buffy saw her and motioned her to sit down.

“I said I was sorry Angel, I didn’t know he would do that…………………yes I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again…………………I know you could beat him in a real fight….” Buffy rolled her eyes at this. “ actually I’m going to the Bronze tonight….uh huh, I’ll call you when I get home. Bye.”

“Sorry about that Willow.”

“Everything alright?” Willow asked concerned.

“I quess. Spike doesn’t know what he’s started, I almost feel bad for the prick.”

Willow got angry. “You know Buffy maybe you should just lay off him, all he did was stop you from getting another beating. Why are you so mad at him?” the red head spat out and added “It’s about fucking time someone did something to help you since you won’t help yourself.”

Buffy sat next to Willow. She’d never seen her friend so pissed and she knew it was because she was worried. She 'd already told Willow that Angel beat her, raped her and cut her but she’d never told Willow the full story.

“Look Wills, I know I’m being harsh with him but I don’t need a knight in shining armour. Besides, I don’t want to be alone all my life and Angels the only one who would have me.”

“Why do you keep saying that Buffy? Your pretty and funny and smart. I know Angels cut you but no one would care that you have a few scars. Not a good person anyway.”

Buffy sighed and got up. She wasn’t shy in front of Willow and pulled down her track pants (she was wearing underwear though). Willows eyes widened and she finally understood why Buffy was so sure no one would want her now. It wasn’t true but she did understand why her friend would think like that. Both the girls broke down into sobs and held each other. Willow cried for her friend and Buffy cried for a life she thought could never have, a happy one.

Willow knew that the emotinal scars Buffy had ran much deeper then the ones adorning her legs and prayed to god to help her friend.


Please review, let me know!!!

In the last chap I got a review from Mac that I deleted by mistake trying to respond to it. The msg was basically this : authors who write stories and don’t finish them obviously don’t care so why should the readers care enough to read and review? I’d like to answer that by saying that im sure people who have WIP’s out there have their reasons. Maybe they feel they aren’t good enough, maybe they feel they wont be able to finish it well, maybe something came up in their life and they don’t have time to write. It certainly doesn’t help that there are people out there like Mac who leave reviews like that. Reviews to me are inspirational and helpful, many contain helpful suggestions as to how the story should unfold. So Mac, if your reading I speak for everyone out there who has more than one story going or unfinished stories, even for people who are writing and trying their hardest who get harsh reviews, you have no right to judge people you don’t even know. Maybe you should relax a little and try to be helpful instead of negative. Also you might try reading things fully, I said I MIGHT drop my other story and a chap. was actually added later that night thanking my readers for staying by it. For those of you who have left reviews for me before, I do appreciate them and the time you spend reading my work. Feel free to be critical if need be but please be mindful to how you phrase things.



Xander and Willow left shortly after seven oclock. Willow had stayed and soothed Buffy the best she could, offering to forego bronzing and stay at home and talk instead but Buffy was adamant about going. She needed some “fun” time.

After they left Buffy decided to soak in a bath. The warm water felt good against her legs. She lightly ran her hands over the fresh scar and bit back the tears. She had to stop crying, things couldn’t get worse right? At least Angel had never left marks that could be seen on her before yesterday but that had been her fault. She’d pushed him too far. Opened her mouth when she should have kept it shut. She closed her eyes and thought back to the fight that they’d had yesterday on her porch.


“Maybe we should take a break Angel.” She said with lowered eyes, not needing to look up to see the rage on his features.

“We could do that if you wanted to Buffy.”

She had stupidly looked up with only to see the sneer on his face.

“But you know your damaged, that no one will ever love you now. No one but me. Your mine forever Buffy, I’ve made sure of that. I’ve marked you as mine over and over again. Do you think anyone would be able to look at your body but me? Everytime they did they would be reminded that you’re my property.”

“your right, I’m sorry Angel.” She lowered her eyes again.

“We belong together Buffy. Don’t question that ever again.” He finished as he raised his hand and struck her face.

That’s when he had come running out. That’s when he had helped her. That’s when he had given her a moment of hope, something she hadn’t felt in almost 2 years, but a moment wasn’t enough and she hated him for that.

Buffy pulled the plug and let the water drain. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked to her room to get ready. She picked out her black leather pants and a red tank, both clung to her every curve. She applied make up to the bruise on her face again, she was a pro at that. She loosely curled her hair and applied a smoky eyeliner with a light lip gloss. She’d heard Spike get out of the shower 20 minutes ago and walked down to his room to offer him a lift with her so they could meet Will and Xan at the bronze, it was easier that way.

He heard her coming and got ready for the verbal attack she seemed to love to give him. Instead he was given a small smile. God she looked gorgeous.

“You look good pet.” He offered, hoping she wouldn’t bitch at him some more.

“Thanks, you don’t look as horrible as you usually do.” She taunted.

“Ouch, cant just give someone a compliment can you?”

“That was a compliment.”

Spike raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“It’s a Buffy compliment.”she explained, laughing a little at the clothes scattered across his room. “Need some help getting dressed since mommy’s not here?” she teased.

Spike looked embarrassed but didn’t stop her when she started picking up articles of clothing.

“Here, wear this and I’ll give you a lift to the bronze with me when your ready.” She handed him a white wifebeater and a pair of faded blue, baggy jeans. Maybe she didn’t hate him he started to think before she added “Like, today moron.”and walked away.

He looked at the clothes. He hadn’t worn anything other than black and red in a long time. He contemplated not wearing what she’d picked out but decided he didn’t want to give her more ammo for their fights. He watched her ass sway while she climbed the steps and thought to himself again “It really is too bad she’s not my type.”



Spike got out of the car on shaky legs only to look up and see Red and Xander laughing at him.

“It takes time to get used to Buffy driving.” Xan explained while Willow nodded in agreement. Buffy got out of the car in time to hear that and looked at Spike who was as white as a ghost.

“I didn’t hit the cat Spike, you don’t have to look at me like that.” She said as she grabbed Willow and went into the club while the guys followed behind them.


The music was good and the place seemed decent. Spike and Xander grabbed a table while the girls went to the bar to get some drinks.

“So Xander, fast or slow song?”

“Huh?”

“Which are you gonna ask Red to dance too?”

“Oh I don’t know, I don’t think I will.”

“Bloody hell mate” Spike sighed, “you will or I’ll tell her how you feel.”

Xander looked scared. “But----“

“No but’s about it, you will ask her.”

“What if she doesn’t want to?”

“What if she does?”

“What if she says no?”

“What if she says yes? What if it’s a yes directed to another bloke because you didn’t have the guts to ask first. What if she falls in love with him. What if she gets married to him?”

“That’s a lot of what if’s.” Xan said smiling.

Spike smiled back “Life is one big ‘what if’ mate, don’t waste more time then you already have.”

Xander nodded and the girls joined them back at the table. They put their drinks down and a slow song came on. Xander stood up and offered his hand to Willow who looked shocked but took it as a smile came to her mouth. They walked to the dance floor and left Buffy and Spike alone.

“Well it’s about time.” Buffy stated.

“It is pretty obvious they fancy each other isn’t it?” Spike agreed. He noticed Buffy mouthing the words to the song.

“It’s my favorite.” She shrugged.

“Well seeing as how I don’t know anyone else would you care to join me on the dance floor luv’?”

Buffy bit her lip. She knew she should say no but she really liked this song, besides it was only a dance.

“Sure.” She gave him a smile as he led her to the crowd of couples swaying to the music.

It was awkward at first but somehow during the song they had gone from standing a foot apart to being pressed together, both enjoying the feel of one another in each others arms but neither one understanding why.

Buffy breathed him in, he smelled like smoke and cinnamon gum. She liked it. She felt so safe in his arms. She stiffened at that realisation. Here, in this almost strangers arms she felt safer then she ever had.

Spike felt her stiffen. He moved back a little so he could see her face.

“Something wrong pet?”

“This isn’t right.”

“It’s just a dance Buffy.” He was confused, why wasn’t dancing an okay thing to do if it was just for fun and then it hit him.

“Angel would get mad wouldn’t he?” he stopped moving to the music, stilling her at the same time.

“Angel would be furious.” She said.

“Angel is furious.”said an angry voice to the side of them.


Let me know what you think!!!

Thank you to Nic (Smitten), Caitie, Mariana, Seraiza, BuffyandSpikeForever and Mac for your reviews, I really appreciate them.


Buffy looked up with terror in her eyes and flinched when he held his hand out to her. She hesitantly took it and he pulled her away from Spike so fast that she almost fell. Xander and Willow rushed to Spikes side.

Spike looked at Buffy. “Do you want to go with him?”

Buffy didn’t answer and Angels grip on her arm tightened so much that she let out a small yelp.

“Buffy, do you want to go with him or stay here with all of us?” Spike asked again.

“I want to go with him.”she whispered, not looking at her friends faces that she knew where laced with hurt.

Angel smirked at them and dragged Buffy away. Spike went back to the table and Willow and Xander followed. He lit a smoke and sat down.

“How long she been with him?” he asked either one.

“Almost 2 years, since she was fifteen.” Willow said.

“How long he been doing that?”

“About two years.” Xander replied.

“Why haven’t you guys done anything to stop it?” It wasn’t said maliciously, it was just an honest question.

“We have.” Willow explained. “But Buffy said that if we went over her head to the police she would deny it.”

“Have you tried telling her mom?”

“She threatened to kill herself once when we did.” Xander said softly.

They remained quiet for a few moments, each thinking about the small blond girl. Spike smashed out his smoke and stood up.

“Come on.” He said throwing on his black leather duster.

“Where are we going?” Willow asked

“To get her the fuck away from him, do you know where he lives?”

Xander and Willow nodded and grabbed their things as Spike told them what to do when the time came.




“Angel I’m sorry.” Buffy sobbed as he clicked the handcuffs shut. She was fully bound, legs and arms and she was sore. He was always careful not to hit her face or arms so that people wouldn’t see what was happening so it was always her stomach, lower back and legs that took the beating. She hadn’t worn a skirt or gone swimming since they’d started dating.

“Me too baby, me too.”he answered and pulled out his pocket knife.

“Nooooo”, her body was wracked with sobs now.

“Yes Buffy, I want you tonight. Make you mine again.”

He sat on top of her lower legs and put the knife to her thigh. Adding a line next to the twelve others.

“Well Buffy looks like it’s our lucky thirteen.” He laughed as he pulled his pants off and straddled her again. Angel and Buffy never had sex often, he was usually too busy fucking someone else to screw her every night. And that way she stayed tight he had told her one night, just the way he liked it.

He thrust into her quickly, not caring that her body wasn’t ready to accept him and she screamed in pain. This just urged him to pump harder. He had his music blaring to cover her screams, not that it mattered, his frat brothers where out drinking somewhere tonight.

He never heard the doorbell ring, or the door open, or the footsteps pounding up the steps. He never even heard the door to his room open, all he could hear were her screams, and he loved those!


Spike, Xan and Willow stood at the door in shock. Xan had called the police 5 minutes before reaching Angels frat house like Spike had instructed him to. They had thought Angel would have beaten her but none of them (except for Willow) expected to find him raping her. Even though Willow knew it happened sometimes no one is ever prepared to see that happen to anyone, let alone a best friend.

Spike went crazy. He went to the bed and grabbed Angel off of Buffy and shot him to the floor. He kicked him in the ribs once and then straddled him, repeatedly smashing his face with his fist. Spike didn’t know when Angel had passed out but it had happened and he was still hitting him.

Willow ran to Buffy after finding the key for the cuffs and covered her, holding her in a tight hug all the while. Buffy had stopped crying and was sitting there almost catatonic, staring into space.

Xan heard the police come in the house and grabbed Spike off of Angel, pinning his arms behind his back. Xan wished that it had been him to fuck Angel up so badly but was happy that it had finally been done none the less.


Spike drove Buffy home after leaving the police station. Angel was going away for a very long time. She was safe now.

She hadn’t spoken a word yet since they had found her in Angels room. Spike walked to her side of the car and opened the door. He picked her up and kicked the door closed, it took a while for him to unlock the front door but he got it done. He carried her up the stairs and up to the bathroom.

He placed her on the toilet and ran a bath, adding some vanilla bubble bath to the water for her. He looked at her and bit back tears. She was broken. This beautiful, fiery blond was broken and he wished he knew how to fix it.

He kneeled down in front of her. “The bath’s ready princess.” No answer. “Do you need help getting in? You must be sore….i wont look at you as anything else then a friend who needs my help right now.” He added, hoping she wouldn’t think he was hitting on her after everything that had happened.

“Yes please.” She whispered. Spike looked her in the yes the whole time he undressed her and placed her in the tub.

“Do you need help washing?” His heart bled for her when she gave a tiny nod and tears sprung to her eyes.

He grabbed the puff and squeezed some vanilla shower gel onto it and started at her feet. Talking to her all the while.

“You’re gonna be alright now princess, he cant hurt you again.” He moved to her ankles. “It’s gonna take time but you’ll heal pet, I promise. It wont be the same but it wont be like that ever again, not with friends who love you as much as Willow and Xander. Your strong Buffy, stronger then you know.”

He got to her thighs and froze. On her left leg was the name Angel carved into her flesh. It was jagged and crude looking, Spike realised he must have used a dull knife to do that. On the right leg there was thirteen lines, crude like the name. Spike was repulsed and it showed on his face, finally Buffy did something. She laughed. He had never heard anything quite as eerie as the sound that came out of her at that moment.

“Whats so funny Buffy?”he asked and ceased to washing her as she raised her eyes to his.

“He was right, no one else could ever want me now, please get out Spike and thank you for everything.”

“But….”

“I said get out Spike, I’ll be fine.”

Spike stood up and walked to the door, throwing her one last look before he shut it behind him. He knew that Buffy thought he was sickened by her scars but it wasn’t that at all. He didn’t want to argue with her after the night she’d had though. It was the malice behind the scars that made him ill. The knowledge that someone could have done that to her, someone who claimed to love her made him want to throw up. He didn't know why he cared so much about Buffy but he swore to himself he would do everything he could to make this new girl, maybe friend, understand that she was beautifull.
'In a sick twisted way i guess we have something in common.' Spike thought but quickly shook those thoughts away, not ready to relieve the pain he'd gone through last year.

Sorry this was a digusting chap. It was gross writing it but i feel it was important to the story, you'll find out why soon..

Thanx for the reviews everyone, I hope you like this chapter, it's short but meaningful (i think). No offense is meant to anyone so if you're not okay with rape and what not (not that I am) please do not read anymore of this story because it deals with it a lot!!!




“Sorry Red, Buffy’s still not up, I don’t think she’ll be taking calls today, she’s gonna be off for a while pet……………..okay, I’ll tell you give your love…okay, bye.”

Spike hung the phone and sighed. His personal stuff had been delivered this morning from home and had been set up by eleven. It was now twelve and he still hadn’t heard a noise from her bedroom. Suddenly an awful image came to his mind. What if she had killed herself. Superman couldn’t have leapt the stairs as fast as he did in that instant. He flung open her door and let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when he saw her curled up and fast asleep.

He tip toed into the room careful not to make too much noise, he didn’t want to startle her after all she’d been through. He settled with sitting on her rocking chair by the window, watching her sleep, she looked like an angel. So different from the girls he’d dated. Cecily and Dru. Cecily had broken his heart and Dru had just fucked him up. She’d been his dark princess. She was sick and twisted, yes, but she loved him in her own way and he desperately needed to feel that especially after everything that had happened.


He’d woken up late one night and overheard his parents talking. What he’d heard had sent him spiralling into a world of anger and shame, one he was still caught in, much like Buffy. His dad had been sick for the last few years and all of them knew that the end was near. They were discussing Ruperts final wishes and Spike couldn’t help but listen. Once the conversation was done he snuck back into his room and cried. He’d honestly thought about killing himself but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d found out that the man he had called Da’ for the last fifteen years wasn’t actually his father. He was in the most important senses of the word. He’d been the one to soothe William when a grade school crush went awry, the one to pick him up when he fell, the one to teach him to play sports. But he was not in fact the man who had helped his mom conceive him. Another man had done that. A sick, twisted man who was rotting in a jail cell for the next 20 years for rape. He had not been born out of love like every child should be, but out of anger, hatred and sickness. His mother though had not been able to terminate him. She believed that every living creature deserved a chance. His ‘father’ wanted to tell William before he passed, explain everything but Jenny refused saying that she wouldn’t let William ever see him as anything besides his ‘Da. He’d never told his parents that he’d heard every word, he spared his mother that at least. He could barely look at her anymore without picturing her screaming for mercy to a man who wouldn’t grant it. Rupert passed a week later. He’d told his girlfriend Cecily everything when he'd broken down after the funeral and she’d broken up with him disgusted. Her last words to him were “You’re beneath me William.” That’s when he’d met Dru and the others, that’s when he’d let go of William to become the Spike that his princess wanted, the man that wasn’t beneath anyone. He loved his mother dearly but he was thankful for the time away that staying here allowed him. It was too hard to be close to her and not ask her how she could love him when he was such an abonimation.



He’d never told anyone else, he didn’t know if he would but as he sat there looking at the little blond angel lying peacefully wrapped in blankets, he knew that if he ever did, it would be to her. He got up and quietly left the room, knowing he’d be back shortly to check up on her again.


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Spike went down to his room and cried. He cried for his Da’, for his mother, for his homesickness, for Buffy and for himself. He didn’t know how long he sat there holding his head in his hands and letting the hurt seep from his eyes. He could taste the salt on his lips and did what he did everytime he got this way. He got angry. He walked across his room to where his punching bag was hanging and let out his frustrations. After a few minutes he took off his sweat soaked shirt but continued beating the bag. The bag that represented all the wrong things in life. God he hated that fucken’ bag.

“Fuck” he roared angrily and threw one last punch to the battered bag before sinking to his knees and drawing in large gulps of air. “You fucken bastard.” He whispered, not speaking to anyone but to life in general.



Buffy woke up with a start. She panicked before realising that she was at home, that she was safe, that she was okay.

She laughed out loud at that. ‘Okay.’ She ran the word through her head a few times. ‘I’ll never be okay again.’ She thought as tears streamed down her face. ‘No one will ever love me now, I don’t even love me.’

She got off the bed and started hurling whatever she could get her hands on at her walls, feeling some satisfaction when she heard an item shatter. She didn’t know how long she’d been doing it or when he had come into her room. She just knew that now there were two strong arms around her. Arms she wasn’t afraid to be in, arms that offered the warmth her body couldn’t give her, they sank to the floor together and held each other. Each lost in their own pain but comforting one another at the same time. Their tears mixed together, silently binding them. Pain is the strongest thing someone can feel, there is pain in almost everything. Love, hate, passion, desire. It can make you weak or make you strong. It can urge you on in life or it can make you give up on it. Pain is necessary. And for the two sitting in the middle of a broken room, with their broken lives and their broken hearts, pain had given them each other. And their was hope in that.



I promise i'll post again soon! Let me know what you think.

Thanx for all those who have reviewed, I hope I haven’t offended anyone and I hope that your enjoying this fic.





He let his thoughts wander to the small girl lying down across from him. He’d known her for 3 days and somehow he felt more connected to her than anyone else. Sure he had his so called friends back in England but they didn’t really care about him just as he didn’t really care about them. Maybe it was because they both had their demons to work through. Maybe it was because both of them blond hair, he really didn’t know why. But he had the sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the fact that every time he looked into her bright green eyes that still had a spark after everything that had happened, he felt as if he were drowning. There was only so long he could keep telling himself she wasn’t his type before he had to kick his own ass for being so stupid.

He could never be with her though. He wasn’t good enough, for her or for anyone. After Spike had left Dru before coming to America he’d sworn that he would never love again. It was too risky, he didn’t know how much of his actual father was in him and he wouldn’t chance hurting a woman the same way his own mother had been hurt. He hadn’t done anything of the sort to Dru but once that notion had popped into his head he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wouldn’t let himself stop. There was monster in his blood.


Buffy cracked open an eye and groaned when she saw her room. “Hey there.”

“Hey to you too.” Spike answered softly.

“Sorry about before.”

“Never apologise to me for that again pet.”

She gave him a small smile. “Why were you crying?”

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you luv’, until then will you settle for a ‘thanks for being there’?”

“Sure.” She smiled up at him, in the midst of all this pain maybe she’d found a friend and she was grateful for that at least. “So where do we go from here?”

“The path is always unclear Buffy. But I promise I’ll be there for you.”

“Why? I don’t need anyone Spike.” She was a little defensive, she thought he was pitying her.

“Maybe I do.”


Their eyes locked for a moment before they looked down.




(about 2 weeks later)

“Hey Wills, we still on for bronzing it tonight?”

“Of course, I cant wait to see you. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Ya. I am. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

Willow smiled at that. It had been a long time since she’d heard Buffy so perky and hadn’t expected it so soon. She knew her friend was still trying to make sense of it all. Joyce had returned and Buffy had sat down and told her everything. They’d both cried and apologised to each other. One for not telling what was going on and the other for not noticing the signs. Joyce had left again a few days later to make another business trip to L.A. Buffy and the others knew it was more then business when she told them she’d be gone for two weeks this time. She’d almost cancelled to stay with Buffy but her daughter had informed her firmly but lovingly that smothering her wasn’t going to help the situation. Also what daughter actually minded having no parental unit around for weeks on end. She was hoping that she’d get most of the summer to herself and her friends. It was only the second week of break and hopefully there would be 6 more of almost no mom fun. Her mom deserved to have fun and so did she. By the way things were looking Buffy was going to get her wish. Whoever the man her mother had met must be pretty amazing, her mom was glowing and she’d only phoned once in the last two days since she’d been gone to check up on her as opposed to the 700 phone calls per day she usually received from her.

“That’s good to hear Buffy.” Willow said cheerily. “So nine o’clock then?”

“You betcha, I wouldn’t miss this Friday night for the world!!!”

“Bye then.”

“Bye.”

Buffy hung up the phone and turned around to watch Spike finish drying the dishes, she started laughing.

“What’s so funny pet?”

“It’s just that my mom leaves and you replace her, tidying up and doing dishes. Aren’t we supposed to wreck the house or something?” she teased.

“Bloody hell Buffy, we’re not all pigs like you and Mr. Gordo.” He shot back with a smirk.

“Hey.” She pouted. “You leave Mr. Gordo out of this, he’s innocent!”she demanded.

Spike just laughed and shot some water at her, she ran away squealing. “You sound like him too!”


Buffy smiled as she made her way up the stairs. Truthfully she was still terrified to be alone but having Spike in the house made it easier. When she’d told him she’d been having nightmares he’d started to sleep on her floor every night so that when she woke up screaming he was there immediately to soothe her. ‘God it must be a killer to sleep like that.’ She mused and pondered that while she jumped in the shower to get ready.


Buffy tied her hair up in a messy bun and applied light make up. She decided to wear a cream colored tube top with low rise faded jeans. She looked casual but cute. She walked downstairs and smiled up at Spike, who she was getting closer to everyday. She didn’t know what he meant to her but she knew that he was in her heart.

“Hey stud.” She said perkily. Spike turned and smiled. She looked good, less withdrawn, more…..alive.

“Hey ugly.”he teased and she fake pouted.

“You know one day I’m gonna get that lip.”he laughed.

Buffy smirked. He looked…..hot, as usual. Actually hotter than usual. He was wearing black jeans with a black muscle top and his duster. “You ready for a night of much needed aloofness and fun?”

“You bet I am pet.”

“Good because I owe you a dance.”

Spike didn’t know how to answer that. The last time they had danced had been the night that Angel had been arrested. He cocked his head and looked at her.

“You want my body don’t you?”

He said it with such conviction that Buffy stood still for a whole minute, and then broke into a fit of giggles.

“HEY! What’s wrong with my body?” he sulked.

“Oh nothing a little something called daylight couldn’t fix.”

He growled.

“Down boy.”she said and ran from the house to her car with him close behind. He reached her and grabbed her in a tight hug, lifting her off the ground before she could unlock her door. He twirled her as she laughed. Buffy wished she could have frozen that moment in time, it was a carefree one and nobody got much of those anymore, at least nobody she knew.

He set her down and she smoothed down a stray curl that had come loose from the gel he used, letting her hand stay a second longer then necessary and she climbed into the car. They drove in a comfortable silence to the club.

Buffy didn’t know what was happening between them but there was something there. She just couldn’t explain it. Friendship for sure, something else? Maybe. She knew it was too soon to be with somebody physically, she didn’t know if it would ever be not too soon and she didn’t want to over analyse their situation. Besides, she didn’t even think she was his type.



“Buffy!!!!” Willow screeched and hugged her friend, who smiled and hugged her back.

“Hey Wills, wanna hit the bar? I’m parched.”

The two girls walked off catching up and left Xan and Spike to fend for a table.

“So mate, any new updates on the Red mission?”

“None so far but soon I hope.”

“I hope it works out for you mate.”

“Thanks Spike, see I told you having extra testosterone around would be of the good.”

Both guys cracked up and grabbed a table a bunch of airheads had just evacuated. They were sitting down for two seconds before one of the girls came running back.

“Hey, sorry I left my purse under the table.”she explained.

Spike reached under and handed it to her, giving her a friendly but dismissive smile. She didn’t get it though.

“I’m Harmony by the way.”

“Spike, this is my friend Xander.”

“Ya, I know who he is, we go to S.D.H together.”

Spike didn’t like the way she was looking at his buddy with such disdain.

“You go to school?”he asked.

“Ya, of course I do.Why do you ask?”she giggled.

“Because where I’m from you need an I.Q to attend.”he said with a smile that dripped with sarcasm.

“Well, aren’t you the little prick.”she puffed and was suddenly tapped on the shoulder from behind. She turned around and came face to face with Buffy.

“I know I didn’t just hear you call my friend a prick you bitch.”Buffy was seething.

“He insulted my intelligence.” Harmony tried to explain.

Buffy smiled coldly. “Harmony, ‘sweetie’, for Spike to have done that you would actually have to have intelligence for him to insult. Now be a good little girl and go away.”

Harmony turned beat red and stormed away, everyone laughed.

“You’re a girl after my own heart Buffy.”Xander teased. They sat there talking and laughing until the first slow song of the night came on and Xander asked Will to dance again.

Buffy looked at Spike and smiled. “I cant wait till they hook up, they’ll make each other really happy.” She had a wistful look in her eyes.

“You’ll make someone very happy too one day pet.”

“Ya well one day may be very far away.” She sighed, “so, wanna dance? Since I owe you and all….”she trailed off.

Spike stood up and took her hand. As they walked to the dance floor he turned to look at her.

“What?”she asked.

“Well I know it doesn’t count but you just made me very happy. I get to dance with the prettiest girl here.”

Buffy blushed. “Of course it counts Spike.” She answered as she moved into his arms and they got lost in the feel of the music and in the comfort of one another.


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They danced for a little while after that before Willow and Xan interrupted.

“Well where off, my mom wants to give me a lecture about the evils of withcraft in case I ever decide to try my hand at magick.” Willow said and gave a laugh that the others followed in. Her mom was always coming up with these crazy scenarios that involved her only daughter.

“Well Red, good luck with that, I’ll see you guys on Sunday.”

“For sure.” Will and Xan agreed , they hugged (well the girls did, Xan and Spike just nodded to each other, men didn’t do the hug thing.)

Spike and Buffy decided to head home as well. “What happens on Sunday?”Buffy asked.

“Movie night in my dungeon.”Spike explained.

“How come I wasn’t invited?” She was a little hurt.

“Of course you’re invited luv’”Spike smiled “wouldn’t dream of having a movie night if you weren’t gonna be there.” He slung his arm over her shoulder and they walked to her car, Spike a little nautious with the concept of being in a car with her twice in the same night.


Xan hopped out of the car and surprised Willow by opening her door for her. ‘Okay weirdness!’ she thought but linked her arm through his when he offered it. He walked her to the door.

“I had a good time tonight Wills.”he said softly.

“Me too.”she blushed.

“OH, I almost forgot. I got you something.”

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small, yellow crayon.

Willow looked at him stunned. The first time they had met had been in kindergarden and she had broken a yellow crayon. It was her favorite color and she’d pushed to hard on it while coloring. Xander had seen her about to cry when the teacher had started walking over and had snatched the crayon from her, taking the blame.

“I um, thought you might like it.”

“I love it!” she beamed.
“I love you.” He blurted out. They both stood there for a moment stunned at his admition.

“Since when?”she asked when she found her voice.

“Since a little red head girl broke a crayon eleven years ago.”

She stepped in a kissed him gently. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed.

“See you tomorrow night?”he asked resting his forehead on hers.

“I see you every Saturday night Xan.”she giggled.

“I know.”he smiled and almost skipped to his car. He hadn’t freaked her out and he had kissed her. He was two for two.




Spike ran from the car and shot himself on the pavement. “Oh sweet jesus.” He said thankfully.

Buffy walked passed him with her nose in the air. “Coward.”she mumbled.

“Coward?” he repeated. “I should be given a bloody purple heart for surviving that.”



Buffy turned off the water and dried off. She got into a pair of shorts and a tank top. Tonight was hotter then most and she didn’t want to have pajama pants on in this heat wave. She walked into her room and saw that Spike was in his usual spot in the rocking chair, reading one of his many books. She also saw that he felt the heat too because he was only sporting a pair of track pants, minus a top.

Buffy swallowed her drool. Goddamn, he had like 10 abs, she’d never get used to seeing that.

“Hot?”

“You know I am pet.”he joked.

“You know you can sleep on the bed with me Spike. I feel bad for letting you crash on the floor.”

“S’alright pet, I just like being there for you when you have a nightmare.”

“Well you’d be there for me faster if you were on the bed.”

Spike tossed his book on her night table and sat down beside her. Buffy began fluffing her pillows and he began talking.


“My ‘Da used to read me poems from that book when I was little. He was always doing small things like that, things that counted. He insisted on teaching me how to play every sport known to man even if he didn’t know how to himself.”

Buffy laughed at that.

“He was always there for me, a great man!!!”

“He must have been to have a son like you.”

Spike flinched visibly and Buffy didn’t know why but she apologized anyway.

“S’alright pet.” He looked into her eyes and knew that he could tell her. “He’s not my biological father.”Spike explained.

“Oh.”she answered softly, not pushing him.

“My real dad is some sick fuck who raped my mother. Rupert couldn’t have children.”

Buffy gently cupped his face. “I’m sorry to hear that but it doesn’t make you less amazing.”

“No”he agreed “it makes me a monster.”

She could see the pain and hurt and humiliation in his eyes. She could see that he was disgusted in himself and her heart broke.

“You are NOT a monster Spike, you’re a man. A really rare one. No one else I know would care so much about a stranger in an abusive relationship and don a halo to save her. You know what, I was wrong Spike, you’re not a man.”

A single tear fell down his cheek.

“You’re an angel.” She said and pulled his head down onto her stomach while he clutched her, she played with his hair until they both fell into a fitful sleep.

Willow brushed her hair while getting ready for bed. The lecture had been long and pointless. Magick didn’t exist, even if Willow wanted it to. ‘EEEEeeeeeee’ a small voice in her head shrieked, ‘I had my first kiss tonight with the only boy I’ve ever wanted to kiss. I think I love him too!’

Xander was watching Star trek and thinking about the nights events. Wow, he’d finally kissed her. Double wow, he’d finally told her how he felt. He was looking forward to showing her just how serious he was for as long as she would let him.



“I’m drowning in footwear.”Spike mumbled and jerked awake. ‘Well that was a weird dream.’ His eyes adjusted to the dark and he realized he was in Buffy’s arms. Well he’d finally told her. She hadn’t been disgusted but then again he’d known that she wouldn’t be. She’d called him an angel, but what kind of angel lived in a basement?

He felt so much for her. He was protective and couldn’t help but feel jealous when he caught a guy checking her out. She made him laugh and he could cry in front of her. She made him feel whole and he wished desperately that things where different. That they could be together. But they couldn’t, because of what he thought he was.

He sighed and shifted their positions, bringing her in to lie against his chest. Wrapping his arms around her he placed a gentle kiss that was feather light to her lips and sighed.


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Buffy woke up with the sun shining in her room. She hadn’t had one bad dream. And then she remembered she was next to Spike and knew that his presence had acted as a “dreamcatcher.” She snuggled closer to him, still dazed and not completely aware yet. Spike woke up when he felt her move and opened one sleepy eye.

“Morning kitten.” His voice was husky with sleep and Buffy smiled. Partly forgetting that this was reality and not a dream world and partly not caring for once in a long time she leaned up and kissed him softly.

Spike closed his ‘eye’ and melted into her, pulling her closer. The kiss wasn’t needy or passionate but slow and languid. She ran her hand over his chest and he groaned, nudging closer to her, desperate for a different kind of heat. Buffy lightly ran her hands across his stomach and toyed with the drawstrings on his track pants.

He pulled away as if he’d been slapped. “I’m sorry Buffy.”he said sitting up quickly and moving to the end of the bed, placing his head in his hands.

“I’m such a soddin’ idiot!”

Buffy didn’t say anything for a moment, thinking that he was rejecting her. Then she realized he was rejecting himself because he didn’t feel as though he was good enough. She laughed lightly.

“It’s not funny Buffy.”

“I kissed you Spike. You have nothing to apologize for. And it is funny.”

“How’s that kitten?”he asked, sparing her a quick glance.

“I don’t think I’m good enough for anybody and you don’t think you’re good enough for anybody. If anyone’s perfect for one another it’s us. You were right Spike, someone will make me very happy….can you let go of your fears and let it be you?” She reached for his hand but he pulled away and walked to her door.

“No princess, I can’t. You deserve better.” He closed the door behind him. ‘The only reason she’s saying those things is because she’s confused” he whispered to himself. “Best give her some space, some time to realise she doesn’t want me.”. He walked to his room and locked his door.

Buffy sighed. She thought she was the one who was royally fucked up but he had shown her that life was still worth living. That there was still hope for a 'happilly ever after'. He’d been there for her like no one else had, she’d opened up to him, come to depend on him, and even though it scared the shit out of her, she’d come to have feelings for him. Now she saw it was her turn to help him, she hoped he’d let her. She knew he was going to push her away, from the monster he thought he was. Try to keep her safe from him. She had to make him see that the safest place for her was in his arms, that the ONLY place for her was in his arms.


Thanx to everyone who has been reviewing, I love it. Please let me know what you think so far.....

Spike had managed to avoid Buffy for the rest of that day and most of the next but there was no way he could now. Will and Xand where on their way for the movie and Buffy hadn’t done anything wrong, he couldn’t be mean to her by dis-inviting her.

The bell rang and Buffy hadn’t even come downstairs. He let his friends in and they went downstairs to watch “The Grudge”.

Buffy came down a few minutes into the movie and Spike could see why she had taken so long. She was wearing a short, jean mini-skirt and a halter top that clung to her. Her hair was down and she looked hot. She knew it too he suspected when she gave him a coy smile.

“Oh my god!” she screeched. “You too are so cute together!” She was looking at Xan and Willow sitting on Spikes huge bean bag chair together, holding hands and cuddling. “Wills, we so have some catching up to do tomorrow. Girls day at the mall?”

“You bet.”her friend agreed.

She sat next to Spike on the bed (there was no where else to but the floor). After watching the movie for awhile she decided to play scared. She would gasp at parts she knew she should think were scary but didn’t. By the end of the movie she was leaning against Spike and using him as a shield from the t.v screen. He’d been tense at first but had relaxed when she didn’t try to pull anything, he’d even wrapped his arm around her like he’d always done before yesterday while they watched “the telly” as Spike so often called it.

Buffy and Spike looked down at their friends at the same time and let out amused groans of dismay.

“Get a room you too!”Spike joked.

“We are in a room.”Xan shot back.

“One that’s not mine whelp.”

Xan and Willow giggled before getting up to leave.

“Were going to grab a coffee before going home, you guys wanna come?” Both Xander and Willow had seen the sparkage between the two blonds and were dying to see if it would go anywhere. Willow decided to ask Buffy about it tomorrow when they were alone.


“Not me thanx.”Buffy chirped.

“Nah, im gonna get some sleep.”


“Alright so I’ll see you tomorrow Spike?” Xan asked.

“Yup we can hang here while the chits gossip and spend their money.”Spike laughed.

“Bye guys.” Will added as they let themselves out.

Buffy turned around and looked at Spike.He was wearing a big baggy sweater and big baggy jeans. She knew he was hiding his body on purpose and inwardly sighed. She turned her green eyes to him, going for a wide-eyed petrified look……….it worked.

“Scared pet?” He took the bait.

“I don’t think I’ll sleep for a week.”she lied, but it was just a tiny, white one. For the greater good she told herself. “Can you sleep in my room again?”

“I’d rather not pet.” He saw her look of sadness and added. “It’s much cooler down here and I hate the heat. You can sleep down here if you want.” He couldn’t stand to see her sad.

She perked up at that. “Okay, im gonna go change.Thanks.”

Spike watched her walk away and called out before she reached the top of the stairs. “What are FRIENDS for.”

She knew it was a warning not to try anything tonight but she also knew that she wouldn’t pay any attention to it.

She came back downstairs a half an hour later wearing a short, pink nightgown. She had put her hair in pigtails to keep it off her face and she looked adorable. She also had Mr. Gordo with her.

Spike pulled down the blanket and motioned her to join him. She crawled in next to him and they spooned. She shivered on purpose and as she’d hoped he’d pulled her in closer to his heat and wrapped a strong arm around her. She smelled like vanilla, he liked it.

“Nite pet.”he whispered and gave the back of her head a light kiss.

“Nite Spike.” She turned around when she said it so that she was facing him, they where only an inch apart. He could feel her breath on his face.

“Spike?”

“Hmmmmmmmm?”

“Do you think you’ll ever hate me?”

“Depends on what you do.”

“What if I did this?” She leaned in quickly and kissed him hard, and her tongue demanded entrance. He allowed it, he couldn’t even form one coherent thought with her attacking him like that and for a while he forgot that he wasn’t good enough.

She moaned into his mouth and his hands roamed over her shoulders. He broke away from her mouth to plant soft kisses along her neck. She dug her nails into his back and grinded against him.


She pulled away and kept eye contact while she removed the shirt he’d changed into fro bed. She looked at hi abs. “There the are”she whispered, causing Spike to smirk as she kissed her way down to his pants. He was wearing tracks (the kind that snapped off if need be and they needed it!) She tore open the first couple of buttons and was granted a full access view of her prize. Even though she’d seen it once before she was still in shock of it. It had to be at least nine inches long, and it was thick too! Not at all like Angels. Thinking of him scared her a little but she knew that she was in control this time. That Spike would never hurt her the way he had. Spike’s eyes where tightly closed and he jerked a little when she put her mouth around his head.

“Buffy.”he gasped.

She took as much as she could into her mouth. She’d never done this before, it was the one thing Angel couldn’t force her to do no matter how hard he’d tried, and she hoped she was doing it right. From the sounds of his erratic breathing she was.

He began to lift his hips in rhythm to her mouth and when he tensed and put his hands on her head she knew he was close.

“Buffy, move luv’, I’m gonna…..unhhhhhhhh.”

She’d never moved lik he’d told her too and he came in her mouth, she swallowed every last drop and licked him clean. When she looked up she was shocked at the lust in his eyes. He grabbed her and flipped her on her back.

“Spike, what are you doing?”she squeaked.

“Returning the favor.”

“Oh, um, you don’t have too.”she said quietly.

Spike looked up and raised his brow.

“Has anyone ever done this too you?”


“No and An…he thought it was gross.”she spit out.

“It’s the last thing from gross luv’”he said and ran his tongue over her clit, causing her to gasp. “It’s delicious.”he purred into her.

She grabbed his head in her tiny hands as he continued to lavish her with his oh so wicked tongue. He plunged two fingers into her dripping center and she arched her back in ecstacy.


Spike could feel her walls tightening around his fingers and started to suck on her clit, pumping his fingers into her faster.

She came screaming his name and he lapped at her juices greedily. When he was done he pulled himself up next to her and kissed her long and hard.

“Buffy that was…..”

“Amazing?”she cut him off in a breathy voice.

“A mistake.”he corrected.



Thanx for the reviews you guys. I loved them! Let me know what you think of this chap and i'll try to post again tonight!

Buffy swung her tiny hand right into his face.

“Bloody hell”he roared in pain as blood dripped between his fingers as he clutched his face.

“You almost broke my nose.”

“And you broke my heart, were not even close to even.”she said and fled his room, going to hers instead.



(The next morning)

“So then I punched him in his face and I avoided him today. I just don’t know what to say to him right now.” Buffy said to Willow. She’d stayed true to her promise to go to the mall and now the two girls were sipping coffee’s in the food court.

The red head looked at her friend with compassion. “Honestly Buffy, I think he’s falling for you and cant handle it. Probably something that happened t him in his past….”

Willow trailed off when she saw the look on Buffy’s face. “Okay so I know something bad happened to him but I don’t know what. I know you didn’t tell me for a reason so I’ll let it go at that. But if something did happen to him and you know what it is can you figure out why he’s trying to push you away?”

Buffy nodded, she was so lucky to have a friend like Willow that understood when she couldn’t tell her something. “He’s scared to turn out like someone…..he’s related to.”she carefully phrased.

“Well from the sound of it this relative must be pretty awful. I wouldn’t take it too personally Buffy, just give him time to work over his issues.”

“Well that’s not fair. I didn’t hold back just cause I was scared.”

“Ya well we all know that woman are the braver of the two sexes.” Willow laughed and Buffy couldn’t help but join her.

“You’re right, I think I’ll apologise tonight. Ask him how he feels and if it’s the same way I do then I’ll tell him I’ll wait till he’s ready.”

Willow nodded in agreement. She was ecstatic to see that circumstances hadn’t ruined her friends spark for life.






“Well that’s the last of it.” Spike said giving a look to Xander. Thanx for helping mate.”

“No problem, are you sure you want to do this? It’s gonna hurt Buffy a lot.”

Spike had told Xander everything (except about who his father really was, he’d skimmed over that part telling him only he was afraid to end up like someone he was related too.)

“It’s for the best.”

“That’s what you think, what about what she thinks?” They sat on his bed.

“She’s too confused to know what she really wants.”

“Maybe she FINALLY knows what she really wants.” Xan said softly.

“I’m not willing to stay here for ‘maybe’s’ mate.”

Spike got up and picked up his duffel bag. “Care to drive me to the airport now?”

“No problem man, just make sure you come back.”

“Swear to god.” Spike took one last look at his room, he’d leave the rest of his things here so he wouldn’t have too much to bring back from home. He’d left Buffy a note on her bed and one for Joyce on the kitchen table.


He locked the door behind him and he left, just missing a phone call……the machine beeped with a message.




Buffy came home with Willow and went straight to the phone when she saw the flashing light.

“This is a message for Buffy Summers, I’m afaraid Joyce Summers has been in an accident. She didn’t make it…..”

Buffy collapsed on the floor in tears with Willow, her heart drenched in sorrow.


(Sorry for the people who like Joyce but I never did, plus the whole having a parental unit around in a fic when you want crazy Spuffy sex and crazy Spuffy fights is hard to work around, well not hard but I don’t have the patience lol…sorry! Let me know what you thought……i'll try to post again tonight!

Spike got home about 15 hours later and crashed. His mom wasn’t home yet but she knew he had been on his way. He was dead to the world .He woke up a few hours later, skipped checking the messages and went somewhere he hadn’t been in a very long time.

“Hey ‘Da.”he said as he placed a flower on Ruperts stone. “I miss you so much. It still hurts, but I know you’re watching over me and mum, I can feel you.”
Spike sat down and leaned against the tombstone, staring at the night sky. He picked out an especially bright star and directed the conversation there. He always told himself that the brightest star in the sky was his ‘Da watching him, listening to him.

“I met a girl, I think you would have loved her. She’s smart and funny and brave.”

*So why aren’t you with her?* Spike also added what he thought his ‘Da would reply in their ‘conversations.

“Because I’m scared ‘Da.”he sobbed as the tears started to fall. “What if I turn out like him?”

**You wont. Your better than that. You always will be.**

“I cant let it go. I can’t forget what’s in my blood.”

**It’s not what’s in your blood that matters William, it’s what’s in your heart.**

“I think I’m falling for her but I don’t think im man enough to do anything about it. I already ran away from her once, I don’t want to do that again.”

**So don’t.**

“It’s not that simple ‘Da.”he sighed and stood up, “I’ll talk to you again soon.”he said to the stars as he walked away.


School was starting in a week, Spike and Joyce had been gone for 6 weeks but in two very different ways. Willow sat with Buffy at the coffee shop.

“Are you ever going to return his calls?”

“Ya, he’s still a friend Will, no matter what happened between us, it just wont be the same I think. I really needed him here.”

Willow touched Buffy’s hand across the table.

“He’s left you like a thousand phone messages Buffy. And you wont let anyone tell him what happened. You made his mom lie to him, that wasn’t right.”

Buffy sighed, she’d phoned Jenny to fill her in on the details of her mothers death and had begged her not to tell Spike. She had agreed reluctantly but hadn’t wanted to cause Buffy any unnecessary pain. She’d lied to Spike, telling him she had gone to visit an old friend in L.A.

Hank Summers had paid for everything and had arranged for Buffy’s name to go on the deed to the house, which he’d paid for in full. He’d also given her a credit card for everything she’d need to pay and get. He’d given her everything except for his presence. But he’d never really given her that. Buffy was dealing as best she could and doing better than anyone had given her credit for. She wasn’t upset at the loss, she just missed her mom. She wasn’t upset because she knew that in so many ways her mother was still with her and that she was in a good place. But the missing was terrible, she’d never felt so alone.

“Hey, you still with me Buffy?” Willow asked concerned.

“Ya, just spaced out I quess. I’ll talk to him when he gets here on Friday, k Wills?”

This seemed to appease her friend and she wouldn’t have to talk to Spike for another four days, they where only Monday.

Just then a soft voice interrupted them.

“Um Hi Willow, Hi Buffy.” The girls looked up into the shy face of Riley Finn.

“Hi.”they both answered.

“Um, I was just wondering if youd like to join me at the Bronze this Friday Buffy?”Riley asked looking down.

“I’d love too.”she answered brightly, shocking everyone, including herself.



Thanx for the reviews....

Spike got out of the airport and hailed a cab, he tried calling Buffy a bunch of times but she’d never answered. He called Xander but whenever he asked about Buffy he got evasive. He knew something was up but had no clue as to what. He shut his eyes and drifted into a light sleep in the cab after giving the driver the address.





“Dear Buffy,

I’m sorry that I’m leaving like this, it’s not what I wanted to do. But it’s what I felt I have to. I understand your mad at me, I shouldn’t have said what I did last night, it was rude. I’m a sodding idiot sometimes. I do have feelings for you kitten, they just wont ever go anywhere further than friendship. They can’t and if anyone can understand why it’s you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and I love you with all my heart in that sense. But I cannot love anyone more than that. I’ll be home at the end of the summer and I pray to god that I can salvage our once great friendship. You will always be in my heart and thoughts no matter happens. If you don’t forgive me I will understand and respect whatever rules you set while I’ll be staying with you and Joyce. She’s a great lady, please give her my love. If you don’t want me to talk to you I wont, if you don’t want me around you I’ll stay as far away as possible. I’ll do whatever you ask. I’m sorry that I wont be there if you have a nightmare, it saddens me that you will be alone if that happens so I’ve something of mine on Mr. Gordo, in case you need something to calm you down.
I’m sorry and I’ll call you during the summer.
‘Spike”

Buffy laid down the letter, she’d read it a thousand times since she’d found it on his bed the night of the horrible phonecall that told her she’d lost her mom. He'd left his silver cross around Mr. Gordo's neck. She knew she should have told him, called him right away but she couldn’t. He had pushed her out of his life in a way and this was her payback. After re-reading the letter she realised just how sick her payback had been. She knew there was going to be hell to pay when he found out. He had really liked her mom, especially after she’d made him hot chocolate with those little marshmallows in it. Buffy sighed. It was Friday night and she was on her way to the Bronze to meet Riley in a few minutes. She didn’t know why she’d agreed to go on a date with him, he was more friendship material (if even that) then he was boyfriend. But Angel had hurt her and now Spike had. In very different ways of course but for some reason Spike’s rejection had hurt more. She had wanted him, she had opened up and let go of her fears to try and be with him and he had pushed her away.

He wanted to be friends, she would give him that. She couldn’t bring herself to hate him no matter how hard she tried but that didn’t mean that they would be good friends like before. She wouldn’t let him hurt her again.

Her doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts and she raced down the stairs to meet Riley. Right on time, somehow she had known that he would be. She gave herself a once over and opened the door.

“Wow” Riley smiled, “ You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She returned his smile, it wasn’t that he was a bad guy, just plain. Well I’m gonna give plain a chance since nothing else has worked out for me she thought and linked her arm through his. “Let’s go have some fun.”


Buffy and Riley drove away not seeing the taxi pulling into her driveway. Spike got out of the car after paying the man and walked inside. He put his duffel bag down and went straight to the fridge for a glass of milk. He flicked on the lights and saw a note on the table. He picked it up.

“Spike,

Sorry I didn’t take your phone calls but I wasn’t ready to talk to you then. I’ve gone to the Bronze so I quess well talk when I get home. Theres a lot to tell you. We can still be ‘friends’ Spike, just not like how it was. I know you’ll understand that……Anyway, welcome back. Your class schedule came in the mail today, school starts Monday. Xan said he’d go to the mall with you tomorrow to pick up the supplies you’ll need for Monday and to phone him when you get in.


Buffy”

Spike put the letter down and walked into the living room to drink his milk. Looking around he saw that something was off. His eyes scanned everything until they focused on a card sitting on the bookshelf. What he read made him rush to the bathroom and throw up. Joyce was dead, she hadn’t even told him. She’d let him find out from a sodding sympathy card from his own mother, who had also lied to him. He put on his coat and called Xander.

“Hello?”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” he yelled.

Xander winced. “I’m sorry she wouldn’t let us Spike. She didn’t want to have to see you at such a hard time, didn’t want to feel worse then she already did.”

It was Spikes turn to wince, had he hurt her that much?

“Take me to the bronze.”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

Spike hung up without saying goodbye. He was pissed at Xander but he would get over it. His friend had only been looking out for another friend and in a way he respected that.

He looked at the picture of Joyce and Buffy on the living room wall and sunk to his knees. Poor Joyce….poor Buffy….




Buffy was dancing with Riley and having an alright time, which was fine by her. There was no bad vibes coming from him, boring ones, but no bad. And she could live with that. Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck raised and a shiver went down her spine. She looked around to see if someone was staring at her and she gasped. There he was, his hair was a mess of spikes/curls and his face was streaked from tears. He was dressed all in black with his leather coat and she couldn’t help but think of how gorgeous he looked. Wait! Streaked with tears….oh shit! Buffy realised what had happened.

“Something the matter?”Riley asked when he felt her tense.

“I have to go talk to someone, do you mind?” Her heart was going a mile a minute, she knew he was gonna blast her.

“Of course not, I’ll go get us some drinks at the bar.”

“Thanks”she whispered as she walked over to him.

“Spike…”she started but was cut off when he rushed at her and grabbed her into a tight embrace, she could feel his tears on her cheek as he clung to her. Why wasn’t he yelling, why was he being nice?

“I’m so sorry”he mumbled between choking sobs.

She rubbed his back as he continued to mutter apologies and he finally calmed down. He pulled out of her arms and looked into her eyes. She looked away.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His eyes held a hundred different emotions.

“I……I couldn’t be around you right then. You really hurt me.”

“So it was payback then?” He was getting pissed now.

“In a way.”she mumbled.

“Look me in the eyes pet. I want you to see my face when I tell you this.”

She looked up.

“I truly am sorry for your loss and in a way I understand why you didn’t say anything.” He cupped her face and sighed before letting it go, dropping his hands to his sides. “But keeping something like that from me is unforgivable, I really liked Joyce, loved her in a way even. Just like I loved you in a way.I never held back from you, I was always honest.”

Buffy flinched when she noted the past tense of the word loved. “You did hold back Spike, you held back feelings. We could have been happy. But you threw it away and ran to the closest plane. I could have loved you” If he could use past tense then she could too.

“I could have loved you too,” he said softly and placed a small kiss on her forehead before he continued, “but we both made mistakes. Frankly Summers, the way I found out was disgusting. Walking into an empty house and seeing a sympathy card from my own mother who didn’t even tell me that Joyce was dead….” tears fell from his gorgeous blue eyes “frankly, you both make me sick.”

Buffy stared at him in open shock. He was right. He had hurt her but she had gone one step farther and broken him. Just then Riley walked up and slung his arm around Buffy protectively.

“I don’t think you should be talking to her that way.”he said trying to sound menacing.

Spikes eyes popped. “And who the fuck are you captain cardboard?”he demanded.

“Hes my boyfriend.”Buffy blurted out, she didn’t even know why. Maybe it was because she knew that she had ruined any semblance of a possible friendship with him and it killed her on the inside. As much as she’d been telling herself that it would never be the same between them again she had hoped for a “happily ever after” with the blond in front of her. But that was the little girl inside her, the little girl that knew what ‘grown up Buffy’ wanted even though grown up Buffy didn’t know, the little girl that had died the second Spike told her how much she disgusted him.

Spike snorted and looked at her one last time. Love, hurt, anger all flashed through his eyes but it was the last thing she saw there that she would never forget. Disappointment.



Thanx for all the reviews guys, hoped you like this one. I’ll try to post again tomorrow…..let me know what you thought…please J

Wow, I didn’t mean to piss anyone off by adding riley lol! Truth is I hate him and added him to ‘spice things up’. He’ll be gone and heres a preview…. It wont end well lol. I didn’t like Riley on the show and wanted to add what I thought Buffy really thought of him. It’ll all work out in the end, I promise. Thanx for the reviews guys…


Riley dropped Buffy off and kissed her gently on the lips. She didn’t feel anything except maybe a little nautious.

She thanked him and told him she’d see him on Monday at school.

“Buffy?”

She sighed. “Ya Riley?”

“Are we really going out?”

“Sure.” She got out of the car and waved. That stupid farmboy had no idea that she wasn’t really interested. She felt bad using him to try and forget Spike but she also assumed he would be too stupid to notice or care if he found out.


She stepped into the dark house and tip-toed downstairs. Spike was sleeping. She sat softly on the edge of his bed and watched his even breathing. How could she have done that to him? She felt like a bitch, fuck, she was a bitch when it came right down to it. She ran her hand feather light over his curls. His hair was so soft. With a sigh she walked upstairs to go to bed. She didn’t see Spike open his eyes and she didn’t see the tears in them. “Night Buffy”he whispered to the empty room.






Monday morning, the first day of school………….


Buffy was walking with her face down, looking to see what class she had for homeroom. She smashed right into a rock solid body and fell, her books went flying everywhere.

She looked up and saw the man who hadn’t spoken one word to her since Friday.

“Maybe you should watch where you’re going.”he said in a harsh tone, fighting the urge to help her up. But he couldn’t, he had an image to start. He decided to be the big bad again, no matter how hard it would be.

“Sorry.”

Spike hadn’t expected that and he knew that she wasn’t talking about running into him. He just walked away. Buffy watched him with a heavy heart.

She walked into her class just as the bell rang, barely making it. How could she live with someone who she wanted so much and couldn’t have? It was going to be a long year.



“Hey Wills, can you believe they gave out homework on the first day?”a weary Buffy asked her friend at the end of the day whose locker was right next to hers.

“I know, isn’t it great?”the excited redhead gushed. Buffy laughed.

“Too nerdy?”

“Just nerdy enough to make you Willow, who I love.”

Willow smiled up at her friend. Buffy had told her about her ‘being with Riley’ and she didn’t like it but she would support her friend no matter what. Her and Xander both agreed it was for the best that they not interfere, that this would play out better on it’s own. She smiled to herself.

“Thinking about Xan?”Buffy asked chuckling.

Willow blushed. “How’d you’d know?”

“That goofy smile was the first hint. Then the not answering me when I asked you a question was the second.”

“Oh sorry, what was the question?”

“Do you want a lift home?”

Willow paled at the thought. “Um no thanks I’m gonna go to Xan’s with him.”

“Oh, phone me later?”

“You bet.”




Buffy slumped on her couch. She had managed not to bump into Spike for the rest of the day. She knew he would be home any minute and decided to start trying to make things better between them.


Spike walked in the door and went right to his room, not even sparing Buffy a glance. He stopped by his bureau when he saw a steaming cup of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows in it, just like Joyce had made for him. He smiled in spite of himself, she was trying, he’d give her that. He just felt so betrayed by what she’d done. It wasn’t going to be that easy.


He spent the next 2 hours working on his homework. He got hungry and went into the kitchen to have a bite to eat. Riley was there with Buffy sitting at the table. The two males glared at each other with dislike.

“Well well. If it isn’t captain cardboard. How’s the city life treating you, miss the farm? Miss the sheep?”

Buffy knew that Spike was insinuating that Riley fucked them but the dumb ass had no idea.

“Actually we didn’t have sheep.”

Spike snorted, he really was from a farm and he REALLY was stupid. He went to the fridge and grabbed some fruit before heading back downstairs.

Buffy sat there looking at Riley in shock. What a fucken moron. ‘How the fuck can I stay with him?’she asked herself and answered ‘I cant.’

“Riley I have a headache so im gonna turn in early, okay?”she said hoping he believed her.

Of course he did. “Allright Buffy, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yep”she fake smiled as he pecked her on the lips.

She let out a sigh as he left and went downstairs. “We need to talk..”

Spike looked up. “Where’s Mr. Amazing?”he asked sarcastically.

“I sent him home and he has nothing to do with this.”

Spike went silent, he may as well hear her out.

“I’m beyond sorry for what I did to you. It was sick and it was wrong. But I cant turn back time no matter how much I wish I could.”she ran her hand through her hair in frustration. “Honestly Spike I jut didn’t know what to do. I’m 16 going on 17 in a couple of weeks. I can still be young and stupid sometimes. But I lost my mom, I lost my virginity to a sick fuck and now I’ve lost one of my best friends. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”she said and broke into sobs.

Bloody hell. He couldn’t stand to see a bird cry under normal circumstances, let alone someone he cared about. Especially not her. He was by her side in a second and he was holding her tight.

“I just want us to be okay and I want my mommy back.”she wailed.

Spike rubbed her back gently. His heart broke for her. Sod it, he thought, the big bad can go fuck himself and loves bitch can come back, at least for tonight.

He layed down on his bed and pulled her with him, drawing the blankets over them.

“I’m sorry pet, just let it out”he soothed.

Buffy eventually stopped crying and snuggled in closer to him, he could see the hope shining in her eyes. They fell asleep like that, holding each other close and relishing the warmth they gave each other, both knowing it would be different in the harsh light of day again. She had Riley and he was pissed at her. But for tonight, she was just Buffy and he was just Spike and they needed each other. For tonight.


Please review, also for those of you who hate Riley as much as I do, hell be gone within the next chapter or the one after that….i swear!!! Let me know….

For those of who have have terrified me into getting rid of Riley fast (lol), it'll happen in the next chap which i'll try to post tonight. Review and let me know. For those who have left reviews for the last chapters thanx so much. I loved em'!


Buffy woke up and stretched and her stomach brushed against something hard….very hard. Her eyes bulged and she remembered where she was.

“Sorry about that Buffy.”

She could only nod her head at him. She noticed that he was still using her name instead of one of the nicknames she loved so much.

“Spike, about last night…”

“Nothing to say, last night is over and it’s a new day. We better get ready for school.”

“But there is a lot to say. I mean….”

“Not right now Buffy, I need to get ready.”

“Later then?”

“Maybe.”

Buffy decided that maybe was good enough and walked upstairs to dress for school.


Spike went to his drawers and pulled out some clothes. He felt bad about being so curt with Buffy and decided that he would definitely talk to her later tonight, after he took care of something.



Buffy walked in the door and went straight to her couch to sleep. It had been a rough day and she just wanted sleep. She opened her eyes at 8:30, looked for Spike and sighed. ‘I guess he didn’t want to talk yet.’ She got her coat and decided to go see her mom.



“Hello Joyce, I hope you like your flowers. I didn’t know what else to get so I hope these’ll do.” Spike was kneeling in front of her grave. “I miss you and I wish we’d have had the chance to get to know each other better. You make a great cup of hot chocolate.” He said with a smile. He didn’t notice Buffy watching him.

“Me and Buffy had a falling out but I’m sure we’ll work things out. She makes her mistakes Joyce, but who doesn’t? You did a great job. Say Hi to my da’ for me, I’ll talk to you soon.”

He stood and turned, seeing Buffy for the first time. She walked up to him and gave him a hard hug.

“Thank you for that.”she pointed to the arrangement of lilies.

He didn’t say anything.

“They where her favorite.” Buffy added.

Spike waited for her as she spoke to her mom. They walked away side by side when she was done, each waiting for the other to break the silence.

Buffy went first.

“Do you think they’re friends?”

“Who?”he asked.

“Our parents.”

“Oh” Spike realised she was referring to Joyce and Rupert. “I don’t see why not pet, they’re probably watching over us.”

Buffy smiled at that thought and reached for his hand without realising it. He took it naturally, not realising either.

“So how are you and Captain Cardboard?”he asked and dropped her hand when he noticed he was holding it.

Buffy sighed . “I don’t know, I’d say he’s fine but mentally….not so sure.”

This earned a laugh from Spike. “So why are you with him?”

“To try to hide the fact that someone rejected me and I was hurt so I wanted to make him jealous.”

“I see.” Spike lit up a smoke. “And hows that working for you?”

“Not so good.”she admitted. “I think I hurt him more than he could ever forgive me for.”

“Maybe you did.”

Buffy held back tears. She knew he understood the conversation was about him and he had just told her there was still no chance.

“But maybe you didn’t.” he reached for her hand again.

Or was there?

“Hey Buffy.” Riley called as she headed to the caf with Willow and Xan, would they ever stop being so adorable? “Hey guys.” He added and nodded to her friends.

They both said hello but Xan rolled his eyes when he did which earned him an elbow to his side from the little redhead.

“Ouch, well be inside k buff?”

“Sure, I’ll be in soon.”

She watched her friends walk inside and followed Riley into the lunch line.

“So we on for tonight Buffy?”

“Actually Riley we need to talk.”

“Oh? About what?”

“Well I cant see you anymore, I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Riley looked at her and laughed loudly. They officially had everyones attention now.

“Hurt me? Please.”he snorted. Buffy shrugged and turned to walk away but he grabbed her arm.

“Not so fast miss high and mighty, I have more to say.”

She stopped and turned around, annoyed. “Get on with it please.”

“The only reason I dated you was because a friend of mine told me you dated his friend Angel and that you put out easy. Why else would I want to be with you?”he sneered.

Buffy’s heart snapped but at the same time so did her calm.

“Look Riley.”she yelled. “Just because I’m not as easy as the farm animals you seem to love so much doesn’t give you the right to say things like that.”

The whole caf yelled in laughter and Riley turned beat red.

“You’re just a snobby whore….”

His sentence was cut short when Spike walked up behind Buffy.

“If you want to pick on someone…”Spike was cut short as well when Buffy’s fist smashed Riley in the face. He went down hard. After a few seconds everyone realised she had knocked him out and they cheered her for it.

“Quess you didn’t need my help?”Spike teased.

“Nope.”she beamed, “but it is appreciated.”

Spike looked at the tiny blond, she’d changed so much so quickly. Once too afraid to leave a man who raped and abused her, she’d turned into someone who wouldn’t even let a guy run his mouth at her. He was proud.

“Mind if I join you for lunch?”

“Of course not.”she smiled and he put his hand on the small of her back and led her to their friends table.


“Way to go Buff.”Xan cheered and Willow smiled, giving her a thumbs up.

“That farm animal comment was priceless.”Willow gushed.

Spike snorted. He had heard that too.

“So since we all seem to be friends again would you too wanna double to the bronze with me and Willow this Friday?” Xan asked.

“Um actually Spike doesn’t like me like tha—“

“We would love too.”Spike cut her off and gave her hand a squeeze before looking at her and mouthing, “friends can do things together”.

Buffy felt her heart soar, she was his friend again, and she’d never felt so good.



Let me know.....

The song i used in this chap is Maroon 5's 'She will be loved'
Thanx for the reviews you guys, the scary “We hate Riley” messages can stop now lol. I hate him too, just so you know! I hope you guys like this chap. Let me know.


The week passed by pretty quickly and before they knew it Buffy and Spike were getting ready to go to the bronze. He hadn’t slept in her room in case of nightmares or anything just yet but they were on the mend.

“Bloody hell Buffy, you look amazing!” Spike uttered as she walked down the stairs. She was sporting a knee length red dress with black ‘hooker boots’. Her hair was down in loose waves and she was wearing lip gloss (cherry flavoured) and black eyeliner.

“Thanx”she smiled “So do you!”

He was wearing a black button down top over a white wifebeater and a pair of black cargos. That ‘slacker look’ made her drool.

“Shall we then?”he offered her his arm and she took it instantly, “were gonna walk today Buffy.”he added remembering the incident with the almost squished cat.

“Sure”she laughed “It’s a nice night out anyway.”

As they walked they talked about everything, from the weather, to clothes, to school, everything except them. They where both ignoring that for now, but it had to be dealt with soon.

They walked into the bronze and saw that Xan and Willow where already on the dance floor. Buffy gave them a quick wave when they spotted her and Spike smiled before going to get some drinks.

“Back already?” she asked a few minutes later when he placed the drinks on the table and Xan and Willow came to join them.

“Wanted me gone for longer pet?”Spike joked.

“Maybe I did.”she said with a sly wink to let him know she was teasing.

“So Will, Xan, how are you guys?”Spike asked.

“In love.” Xan replied as Willow nodded her agreement and Xans arms wrapped around her from behind.

“Awwwww, so sweet!” Buffy gushed.

“How are you too?”Xan asked.

“Um, I don’t really know.”Buffy admitted.

“It’s kinda weird Xan”Spike explained.

“You know..”Willow said with a shy smile “nothing clears the air like a nice dance together.”

Just then a song they all loved came on and they all stood up.

“Wanna dance luv?”Spike breathed into her ear.

She could only manage to nod her head. His voice was so sexy…..


They walked onto the dance floor as the lyrics started to play.

*Beauty queen of only 18, she had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow I want more

I don’t mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved, she will be loved*

Buffy and Spike inched closer as his hands went to the small of her back. She sighed into him. It felt so right to be next to him.


*Tap on my window, knock on my door,
I want to make you feel beautiful,
I know I tend to get so insecure,
Doesn’t matter anymore*

Spike sang along with that verse and Buffy didn’t know if he was trying to tell her something or if he was just singing.

Spike had to bite back a smile as he saw the confused look on Buffy’s face. This song was exactly how he felt about her.


*It’s not always rainbows and butterflies it’s compromise,
It moves us along yeah
My hearts always full and my doors always open
You come any time you want

I don’t mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved, she will be loved, she will be loved, she will be loved…..*


Buffy took a chance and started to run his hand over the small curls at the nape of his neck and relaxed when he sighed and nuzzled her cheek. She held back a smile. Maybe things where gonna be okay….



*I know why you hide alone in your car, know all of the things
That make you who you are
I know that Goodbye means nothing at all
Because that word makes me catch her every time she falls
Yeah

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I don’t mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
And she will be loved……………..*

Spike had sung the entire verse to her and Buffys heart was beating ultra fast. She looked at him with tears in her eyes, she wasn’t sure where they stood and it bugged her.

Spike saw the sad smile and cupped her face in his hand, looking her in the eyes. “Look for the girl with the broken smile……ask her if she’d like to stay awhile?” It was more a question then a sentence from the song.

Buffy looked at him in open shock. He was asking her if she’d be with him.

“Will she be loved?”she asked carefully in case she had misunderstood what he was saying.

“She already is.”Spike answered and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss.



Let me know what you think...please lol!

Thanx to all the reviews so far, theres finally Spuffy yay...more angst to come in later chaps but there will be a happy ending...





He pulled away from her breathless. “Wow. That was…”

“A mistake.”she teased.

“Amazing.”he corrected.

He pulled her in to another hug. “I do love you pet.”he whispered softly into her ear.

“I love you.”she said just as softly “Do you um…..”she turned pink with embarrassment. “Wanna get out of here?”

Spike growled in response and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the exit.

“Did you just growl?”she asked giggling.

“What can I say luv, you bring out the animal in me.”


They half walked half ran to Buffy’s house. When they got in and locked up behind them Buffy looked at Spike.

“My room or yours?”

“Yours…..bad memories of us in there.”he muttered. She nodded her head and gently lead him up the stairs to her room. She opened the door and ushered him inside. She took his hand and brought him to a sitting position on the bed with her.

“Nervous?”

“Ya pet I am…”he fidgeted with a string on his top. “Silly huh?”

“No, I am too.”she admitted. “I haven’t made love to anyone except for Angel…”Spike cut her off.

“Wrong Buffy, you never made love, that’s not what it’s like. It can be such a wonderful thing.”

“Show me then.”she breathed. She stood up and peeled off her dress slowly, letting him eat up every one of her details. Once the dress hit the floor she went and stood in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. His face was level with her belly button. His tongue darted out a licked a small circle on her skin. She shivered at the touch and moaned at the loss when he momentarily pulled away to look at her.

“You’re so beautiful Buffy, I’ve never known anyone like you.” He resumed licking the skin of her stomach lightly and slid off the bed so that he could lick a much more desirable area.

Buffy gasped and her fingers tightened their hold on his head as he snaked his tongue into her. He moaned as he felt the muscles of her legs twitch where he stroked them. He let his tongue in just a little bit more and he could hear her breathing getting harder. The way she reacted to him so fast got him hard. He smiled into her heat as he entered his tongue completely into her moist depths. She went rigid against him for a second before she started slowly thrusting herself onto his outstretched tongue. He replaced his tongue with two fingers and began to suck on her clit. She was practically screaming now, he could feel her tighten and knew she was about to come. He applied more pressure with his mouth and gave harder thrusts with his digits until she screamed his name in pleasure.

“Spike”she breathed and sunk to her knees and kissed him deeply.

He scooped her up and layed her gently onto the bed. Her small hand went to his zipper and pulled it down, releasing his erection.

She started to pump him slowly and he moved with her. He had his eyes tightly closed and was muttering soft words. She loved the way he was moving and moaning, she could feel herself getting more wet with each pant he gave.

“Buffy, I’m gonna come soon, stop.”he begged but she paid no attention. Instead she lowered his body and took his erection into her mouth. She watched his face as she moved her mouth up and down along his length.

His whole body shook as he came into her mouth and she swallowed every drop greedily.

She crawled back up to him and layed against his side. He rolled over to face her.

“You were incredible kitten.”

“So where you baby.”

He looked shocked.

“Oh do I have a nickname now?”

“Yup, since I have at least three I thought I’d give you one.”

He smiled and kissed her, hard again. Buffy could feel his dick on her stomach and her eyes widened.

“Again?”

“Again.”he answered and pulled his pants off all the way and stripped off his shirts.

He rolled on top of her and pushed the stray hair out of her face. “Are you ready for this love?”

“Ready and willing” They both knew that the willing part of her reply was more than it appeared. She was letting him know that he was in no way like Angel, that she was comfortable with him.

He placed his head at her entrance and lowered himself in, making sure to be slow and soft, everything her last ‘boyfriend’ hadn’t been.

She gasped when he filled her so completely. Spike had to stop moving altogether, she was so hot and tight, he was having trouble not cumming right away.

After they ‘settled in’ Spike began to sway into her in slow, deep thrusts. Soon she was meeting his hips halfway and digging her nails into his back. She wrapped her legs around him and whimpered in pleasure. With every stroke now he was hitting her clit. She urged him to go faster and he quickly obeyed. He added a finger to her clit for more pleasure and was rewarded as she screamed his name and came around him. He couldn’t hold back and came right after her, collapsing on her when he was done.

“Buffy luv’ ,so good, I love you so much.”he breathed.

“I love you Spike.”she whispered as she played with his hair.

They shifted so that she was lying in his arms and they fell asleep like that, both happy for the first time in a long time…..


Let me know.......

Thanx for all the great reviews, i love you guys!!!This is just a small chap before something important hapens and more angst appears in the next one, maybe the one after that...but angst is coming so be prepared, and be prepared for a happy ending, this IS a spuffy after all guys, so please just bear with me to the end, i think it'll be worth it.....





Spike woke up with a start. He was alone. Why? Had Buffy left him when he’d fallen asleep, did she think they’d made a mistake?

He started to panic when her door opened quietly and she walked in. When she saw his face she smiled gently.

“You okay?”

“Where were you?”he asked, his voice sounded childlike and endearing to Buffy.

“I had to brush my teeth”she answered and slipped back into the bed next to him. “Sorry if I scared you…”

“S’alright pet, just me over reacting” he said with a small laugh.

Buffy nuzzled her face against his chest. “I would never leave you baby.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” She said as her hand snuck down to his pants.

Spike smirked. “I knew you wanted my tight body.”

Buffy laughed. “Well ya, who wouldn’t? Your so hot and muscly…”

“Muscly?” He lifted his eyebrow. “Is that a word?”

“Ya huh.”she smiled prettily.

“Good to know pet.”he said before flipping them over so that he was on top. God he could get used to this.



Buffy and Spike walked hand in hand down the Sunnydale corridor and stopped to check out why there was a bunch of kids around Rileys locker. Buffys hand flew to her mouth to suppress her laughter but Spike openly snorted. Someone had taped a stuffed sheep to Rileys locker and had written in large letters “For those lonely nights….”


Riley pushed through the crowd and turned when he saw what was done.

“You…..”he hissed at Buffy and took a step towards her.

Spike stepped in front of her. “You don’t have the privilege of talking to her anymore mate, understood?”

Riley, although he was larger, wasn’t half as intimidating as Spike, and just turned to his locker and tore the stuffed animal off and walked away fuming. Buffy turned and saw Jonathon and Warren give each other high fives and winked at them when they saw her. They just nodded their heads and walked away. She knew it was them who had done it. She’d always been kind to them and this was their form of a thank you. She made a mental note to talk to them more often.

Spike saw the wink and looked at her amused. “Cheating on me already luv?”

“Oh ya.”she teased “You’re not enough man to keep me tied down.”

Spike growled and she stepped in closer to him. She loved it when he did that.

“Well then I quess I just need lots more practice on making you happy huh pet?”

“Oh yes, much much more” she said taking his hand and walking out of the school with him, eager for the night of “Spike proving himself” that lay ahead.


School seemed to fly by for the couple and before they knew it it was christmas break.

“So what do you want for the holiday kitten?” Spike asked as they sat on the couch drinking hot chocolate.

“Well it’s two weeks away and we have so much to do.”Buffy gushed. “We have to put lights up and get a tree, and invite our friends over for Christmas eve so that we can all celebrate together.”

Spike smiled. “I meant gift wise luv”he said giving her forehead a light kiss.

“Oh” she blushed. “I don’t know, something that says ‘us’.”

“Is that it?”Spike said laughing, “I’ll give it a try pet.”

“What about you?”

“I really don’t know luv, anything from you will be wonderful.”

“Well I cant wait for Christmas day, waking up next to you will be great. I wish mom was here.”she sniffed.

He hugged her tight. “Me too kitten, but shell be with us in our hearts, ya?”

“Ya.” Buffy said with a small smile. “Should we invite your mom?”

Spike tensed, he hadn’t spoken to her since he’d found out she’d kept Joyce’s death from him. “No pet, I don’t think we should.”

“But…”

“No but’s pet, im not ready to see or talk to her, not after what she did.”

“You forgave me for what I did.” Buffy stated gently.

Spike sighed, “I’ll phone her Christmas day, hows that sound?”

“Like a start.” Buffy said before kissing him, thoughts of what he was going to get her drifting through his mind before settling on a particular thing, he only hoped she would like it…….




Let me know what you guys think, i appreciate u'r responses!

Buffy wandered through the mall with Willow while Spike walked with Xander. They were split up so they could get their “mates” their gifts.


Buffy walked into a cd store and picked up every sex pistols cd’s they had. Spikes had been lost on the airplane along with his zippo and some other things. She planned on replacing them all.

“So Wills, whats up with you and Xan?”

Willow turned beet red.

“OH MY GOD, you totally did it!”

“Ya….it was amazing Buffy. I love him so much. It’s like we were meant to be together, ya know?”

“ya I do.”

Willow saw the dreamy expression on Buffys face and was happy for her, she was finally happy. It was nice to see.

“Were pretty lucky aren’t we Wills?”

“Ya we are. Where too next?”

“Lighter store….if there is one.”

Buffy paid for the cd’s and went in search of a zippo.




Xanders eyes popped as they walked into the store Spike had chosen.

“Are you serious man?”

“Never been more serious in my life mate.”

Xander beamed at his friend, “Well good for you then.”

They walked up to the counter and started looking at the choices.



They all met u at the food court two hours later and grabbed some ice caps, it may be the holidays but it was still sweltering hot in good ol’ sunnydale.

Will and Xan kissed and Spike put his arm around Buffy. “You guys ready to leave?”

“You betcha.” Xan answered and they left the mall, each excited to give their lovers their gifts in a few short days.





(X-mas eve)

“Smells wonderful pet.”

Buffy smiled up at him. “Not bad huh?”

“Nope, not bad at all. Now you go upstairs and shower and what not, I’ll watch the food while youre getting ready.” Buffy kissed him and ran upstairs to wash up. They had gone to visit her mom that day and had both left tear streaked. Also Spike wanted her far away since he had refused to sleep with her since they went shopping, wanting them to be starved for it when he showed her her gift.

Spike sang to himself while she showered, god he loved her so much. He didn’t know what he’d do with out her.

He occasionally stirred the pots on the stove until Buffy came downstairs and his mouth dropped. She was wearing a black, spaghetti strap dress that went to mid thigh. She looked stunning.

Buffy giggled, “Your turn to wash up baby.” She said playfully pushing him to the stairs.

“But, but……”

“Go”she giggled “You can ravish me later”she added with a wink as Spike climbed the steps grumbling all the way. ‘Two can play at that game’ he thought with a smirk as he stripped and stepped under the water.



The doorbell rang just as he was coming up from his room after getting dressed. “I’ll get it kitten”he purred and brushed by her. She stood their frozen with her mouth open.

He was wearing black dress pants with a blue dress shirt. It’s top buttons were left undone so that she could glimpse the smooth skin of his collarbone. She wished he would drop something so that when he leaned over she could get a peek at his pecs, but it was not to be. She wanted to bed him right then, they hadn’t been together for a couple of days now and Buffy was getting cranky but Spike kept saying wait until Christmas, and she didn’t want to push him. Sure he’d gone down on her and what not but she wanted him in her. He hadn’t even got naked since they had gone to the mall and she couldn’t figure out why.

“Hey guys, Red you look delicious”Spike said as he gave her a small kiss to the cheek and Xan playfully added “What about me?”

“Fine then, you’re a nummy treat.” Spike joked back and they all laughed.

Willow and Buffy set the table as Spike and Xan stood outside while Spike had a smoke.

“Nervous buddy?”

“Ya.”was Spikes simple reply.

“I would be too” Xan continued.

“Not making it easier mate.”

“Sorry” Xan said and had the decency to look it.

“I just hope she doesn’t freak out.”

“She’ll most likely love it, I mean what girl wouldn’t love a gift that says ‘I’ll love you forever’?”

“I hope your right Xan.” Spike said and tossed his smoke to the curb and they walked inside to eat the feast Buffy had prepared.







They all sat around the table talking and laughing after dinner.

“That was great Buffster, you can make me dinner all the time.” Xan said rubbing his belly.

“Ya, more then once a year is too much for me.”Buffy laughed as they all started clearing the dishes.

Buffy and Spike waited for their friends to leave before they stumbled to the couch in a hungry embrace. Buffy went to pull his shirt off but he swatted her hands away. “No peeking at the goods pet.” He purred.

“But technically it’s Christmas day” Buffy argued. Spike looked at the clock, ten after twelve. She was right.

“Alright then pet.”

He stood up and peeled off his shirt, Buffy had to stop herself from drooling.

“You sure you want your gift now?”

Buffy nodded her head, expecting him to go to the tree and pick up the box that was from him but he didn’t.

Spike saw her confused look and grinned. “I got you more then one Buffy.”

He turned around slowly and her hand flew to her mouth as she stared at the tattoo that adorned his left shoulder blade. It was so fucken’ hot, she loved tattoos on guys and had mentioned it a few times to him.

“What does it mean? She asked in a breathy voice, looking at the Japanese symbol in awe.

“Immortality.”he answered.

“What made you get that one?”

“Because my love for you will never die princess”



Lol sorry to leave you guys there….bet you thought it was a ring huh? Wahahahahaha, don’t worry….there might be soon……angst is coming later then I expected…..but still coming, let me know what you guys thought. And thanx to those who have been leaving reviews. Also im a tattoo groupie and had to add one in this fic, they make me drool, sorry if you guys don’t agree. I know he didn’t need one to be sexier but I wanted to add it so for those of you anti tattoo, just forget this gift and wait to read about the next ones, I promise it’ll be good….

Thanx for the reviews everyone, I really loved them. It helps to know you guys are still with this fic….I love you guys (gives everyone a hug)


Buffy walked to him slowly and let her fingers trace the still sensitive mark.

“Do you mean that?” she whispered.

“More than anything pet.”

“This” she said pointing to his tattoo, “Is forever Spike.”

“So is this”he answered as he took her tiny hand and placed it over his heart.

Buffy gasped. He loved her so much, did she feel just as stongly? It took her less then a second to realize that she did.

She grabbed his head and pulled him down for a kiss. They both pulled away breathless and looked into each others eyes for a long while, before walking up the stairs and going into her room, the rest of the gifts could wait………….


“Buffy baby, I need you so much” he groaned as they fell onto her bed.

Buffy tore off his shirt and started to plant kisses along his neck and collarbone.

He pulled away for a moment to take off her dress. It looked good on her but he was convinced it would look better on the floor.

She allowed him to gently pull the soft fabric over her head and watched him as he watched her. His eyes where wide with awe and wonder. She never seen a look so filled with love and passion, and it was all for her. She felt her heart swell with pride at the knowledge that this amazing human being was hers, so completely hers as she was his.


He flipped them over so that he was on top and trailed kisses from her neck to her breasts, stopping when he reached her nipples. He took one into his mouth and sucked lightly, applying more pressure when she moaned his name. He paid the same attention to the other one and slipped his hand to her moist center.

He almost purred when he felt how wet she was for him.

“Spike…please baby, now.” She begged and he lost all control.

Positioning his head at her entrance he plunged in in one swift stroke and had to close his eyes at the bliss of being surrounded by her liguid fire made him feel.

He leaned up and looked into her eyes.

“I love you.” He thrust into her slowly at first, keeping the pace torturous for the both of them as they rocked together.

Buffy was in heaven. He filled her so perfectly, as if she’d been made for him. She began to meet his thrusts and couldn’t help but claw at his back as he hit her clit with each plunge his hips took.

“Harder…..”

Spike picked up the pace, losing himself in the feel of her warmth and her love, he wanted to stay there forever.

He could feel the telltale signs of her orgasm approaching as her muscles clenched around his cock and he groaned loudly. “Come with me baby….fuck…so good…”he mumbled. He leaned down and gently bit her neck “Mine” he growled.

“Yours” she screamed as she came with an intensity that she’d never felt before. Hearing her say that did it for Spike, with a few more thrusts he came into her convulsing pussy and roared in pleasure.

He stayed there for god knows how long, lost in the afterglow of what they’d just shared. When thought came back to him he rolled off her so that he wouldn’t be crushing her and pulled her into his arms.

“Spike?”

“Hmmmm?”he mumbled almost asleep.

“Merry Christmas” she whispered and snuggled in close to him, laying her head on his chest so that she could feel the beating of his heart.

“Merry Christmas luv” he whispered back and sleep came to claim the tired lovers.




He woke up alone again but this time didn’t let his fears have voice. He got up and stumbled down the stairs after shooting on a pair of jogging pants and looked for his princess. He found her in front of the Christmas tree shaking his gifts around.

“Couldn’t wait sunshine?”he asked amused and Buffy looked up blushing.

“You slept for too long, are all these for me?” she asked in wonder.

“everyone pet.”

“Can I open them?” She seemed so excited that he couldn’t deny her and he sat on the couch to watch.


She picked up the biggest box first and with a squeal tore the wrapping off it.

“Oh my god” she breathed. Inside was the prom dress she’d ogled at the mall but hadn’t been able to afford.

“Spike you shouldn’t have, its too expensive….” She knew that this gift alone was five hundred dollars.

“Do you like it pet?”

“Well ya but…”

“Then it was worth it.”he said smiling.

She ran to him and kissed him but he pulled away. “On to the others now luv.”he urged.

She smiled and went back to unwrapping gifts. She got a pair of shoes, earrings, a necklace and a purse that all matched her dress. She was so overwhelmed at the thoughfullness of what he’d done but decided to tease him anyway.

“Spike this is incredible, now I just have to find a date for the prom an-“

She was cut off by a low growl as he lunged at her and claimed her mouth with his. “I’ll be the one at your arm kitten.”

She laughed and playfully batted him away. That’s when she spotted the small box with her name on it. She went to grab it but he held her still, “You’ll get that one after I get my prezzies luv”
She giggled at his child like word and sat back and watched him as he unwrapped the first one.

“Soddin’ hell, the whole Sex pistols collection. You’re a goddess Buffy” he said beaming at her before turning to the others, a wicked zippo with Spike written on the front and Buffy and Spike always on the back.He opened some shirts and pants before finding the smallest gift in the pile. He opened it and his mouth dropped.

Looking at her in shock and disbelief he couldn’t form words.

Buffy just smiled and offered “It’s not the 1900’s anymore Spike, a girl can take incentive too…….unless you don’t want….”

He was all over her before she could finish that sentence. “Of course I want you Buffy, I always will.”

She took the box from her hand and got down on her knees to come face to face with him on the floor.

She took a deep breath. “Wiliam Spike Giles Calendar……will you marry me?”


Let me know lol!!!! I thought it might be a diff twist….shell open her other gift in the next chap and sadly after that there will be angst…..again, but not for too long lol
Oh also i know that you guys will probably be thinking it's too soon but ill explain more in the next chap and hopefully you guys will agree with my "logic"

Thanx for everyone who has been leaving reviews, I love them, they are my guiding light lol! I love you all and I hope you like this chap……it’s short but the next will be longer!



Spikes eyes almost popped out of his head. This wonderful amazing girl was asking him to spend the rest of their lives together. Was she crazy, did she really think she’d have to ask? It was a beautiful white gold band engraved in it where the words “Buffy and Spike, until the end of time.”

“Spike?” She was nervous, it was in her voice.

Spike could only bring himself to nod his head in a yes and she leapt on him screaming. Both had tears in their eyes but for once it wasn’t because they where sad….quite the opposite in fact.

They spent the rest of the day making love in various parts of the house, christening it as Spike called it. At the end of the night Spike brought Buffy’s last gift upstairs.

She tore at it greedily and her hand flew to her mouth.

“It’s beautiful baby.” He slipped it on her ring finger and they both cracked up.

“Great minds think alike huh pet?”

“Or warped ones.”she answered playfully. She looked down at her engagement ring and Spike smiled. Even though he wanted this more than anything he felt that something was wrong, that there was something that had slipped both their minds. He decided to let it go and let himself enjoy the bliss of lying next to his soon to be wife.

It felt like they’d closed their eyes for only a second before school was starting again and they where back to their hectic schedules.

But thankfully Valentines day approached quickly and Spike and Xander planned on taking their lovely ladies out for an incredible night. They where taking them to the best restaurant in town and then to Apocalypse, a ballroom dance “club”. They had each bought tuxes for the occasion and went to go pick up flowers for the ladies before going to pick them up.

Willow and Buffy paced her house nervously. All the guys had told them was to “dress real purdy”, they hadn’t let anything else slip about their plans for the evening.


Sorry this chap was so quick but its for a reason. I had to skip school details because theres gonna be more of that in upcoming chapters and frankly it bores me, plus the next chap has the angst, sigh. In the next one you’ll see why Spike was worried and I wanted that worry to stay fresh in your minds……please review if you want to see the next chap sooner, the title will be “Ballroom Blow-up”….try to figure out what happens (wa hahahaha)
I love you guys!

Wow, thank you all so much for the reviews guys, you are all amazing. I'm sorry that there is angst again but i feel that it would be too soon to have them get engaged and it work out perfectly. They will get married but later.......

“Willow you look gorgeous!” buffy gushed, seeing her red headed friend for almost the first time without a “fluffy sweater”. Instead she was dressed in an emerald green dress that hung to her knees and “ruffled at the bottom, it tied around her neck. It was stunning.

Willow blushed. “I hope so, I want Xan to be impressed, he’s never seen me in something that’s not from a nuns closet or a painters wardrobe.”

Buffy laughed. “Will you can be so dumb sometimes.”

Her friend looked hurt and Buffy rushed to explain. “Wow Wills, I totally didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was the way you dress is part of who you are and he loves everything about you, including what you wear! So do I!”

The two girls hugged and Willow pulled away first. “You know you look so hot!”Willow said laughing.

Buffy smirked. “Are you going gay on me Will? Cause if so, hands off im taken.” Buffy laughed flashing her ring.

Willow snorted. “Please Buffy, you’re so not my type anyway.”

Buffy looked in the mirror. She’d chosen a white, clingy, strapless gown that was elegant in it’s simplicity. Unlike Willow who wore her hair down in curls she had hers tied in a French twist.

She had to admit to herself, they did look pretty edible. ‘Now who would I like to eat me?’ Buffy thought to herself naughtily.

The doorbell rang a few moments later and the girls rushed to the door, only to open it as if they had casually strolled towards it at the sound of it’s chime.

The boys laughed.

“We could hear you crazy bints galloping down the stairs, cant try to hide that behind forced aloofness” Spike teased.

Buffy and Willows eyes narrowed and they looked at each other and nodded. Then Buffy slammed the door closed in their faces.

The men stood their stunned. “What the fuck just happened?”Spike gasped.

“You know for someone who’s suave as you are, you might think to not insult your date, who looks just as beautiful as mine by the way, the second they open the door to you. Show some finesse man.”

Spike blushed furiously. “Um, ya, I’ll give it a whirl then.”

Xander rang the bell again and Willow and Buffy opened it again.

“Girls, may I say how extraordinary the both of you look tonight. These flowers pale in your comparision and we hope that in your kind hearts you will accept them as a token of our love and devotion to you.”

The girls giggled and Spike’s jaw dropped. Either Xander had become a gentleman overnight or he had gotten into some Harlequin novels. The men handed their ladies their flowers and when the girls went to put them in a vase Xan leaned in and whispered, “Man you can find some primo lines in those romance books.” Spike had to suppress a snort as the ladies came into view again.

“Shall we m’lady?” Spike asked and offered his arm to her. She bowed slightly and smiled brightly at him, accepting the offer.

“You look….I really cant describe how beautiful you look Buffy.”

Buffy hung her head, trying to hide her blush. “thank you, I wasn’t really mad you know. I just wanted a different start to the evening.”

Spike felt much better when she told him that and gave her a quick kiss to her nose. “God I love everything about you sweetheart.”

“I know, and I love a couple of things about you too.”she giggled.

“A couple?” Spike fake frowned, knowing she was teasing.

“Ya, but theyre….really big things.” She said and tried to suppress her smile as Spike caught on the the innuendo and tensed. She knew she’d gotten him hard with just those words and she loved that she was gonna pay for it later tonight.


Xander drove them to the restaurant and they piled out together, walking up to the host.

“We have a reservation.” Xan said politely.

“I’m sure you do.”the man said, his face obvious with disdain.

Spike got pissed, and when he got pissed his accent came out full force, and when his accent came out full force so did the british pride that had been bashed into him since birth.

“Now listen here, sir.” Spike drew out the word sir in an upper class snobby tone, “First off my name is Mr Calendar and if you’d like to check your book you’ll see my name there. Secondly if you talk to us again with such a tone in front of these beautiful woman who deserve nothing less than your respect, then I will see to it personally that you are fired tonight.”

The man looked at the book and paled. “Mr Calendar sir, I’m terribly sorry, right this way.”

The man led them to a beautiful corner booth and they all watched as Spike gave him a twenty for tips. He looked at his name tag before handing it over. “Thank you….Larry, for seating us, now may I suggest you use the tips you make tonight to buy yourself some manners? Please be off with you then.”he said dismissively to the man who reddened and stormed away.

Spike and Xander seated the girls before sitting down themselves.

Although it was the question in everyones mind Buffy was the first to ask it.

“What the fuck was that?”

Spike smiled. “I grew up in England pet, with a rich grandmother who insisted I learn proper etiquette and what not, didn’t want to at the time but every now and then it comes in rather handy.”

Everyone at the table laughed and ordered their meals. Once their plates were cleared and it was paid the men revealed where they where taking the girls.

“Apocalypse.”the two woman breathed at the same time.

The men smiled at the awe on their girlfriends faces. Spike and Xander shared a quick look. Spike had taught Xander how to ballroom dance and they had sworn it to secrecy. They both nodded to each other to assure one another that the secret would be buried with them.


About a half an hour later they where in the dance room, they all looked around. It was large and spacious as well as beautifully decorated.

The men led their lovelies to the dance floor. The couples stood close enough to hear each other when they spoke normally but far enough apart to not hear the whispered promises of love that were meant to be private.

Buffy and Spike started to waltz together.

“I never knew you could do this.” Buffy breathed. “You’re incredible William.”

He looked into her eyes. He couldn’t remember a time he’d ever like to hear his real name but from this angels lips it sounded right. He smiled.

“Ya well…theres a few things I don’t like sharing, that I can dance to music my grandmother remembers is one of those things.”

They both laughed and looked over at their friends who seemed to be having just as good a time. And then it happened.

“Hey Spike, when you and Buffy get hitched are you getting all your stuff from home sent back here? Cause I have an uncle who can transport things for cheap from overseas.” (Xan and Willow had been discussing how great it was that Buffy and Spike were getting wed when Willow had asked how he was gonna get all his belongings here)

Spike choked on his laughter. When he got his breath back he spat out “What? Come on you wanker, you think me and the princess are gonna stay here in Sunnyhell? Where going to England.”

Buffy pulled out of his arms lightning fast. “What?” she almost screamed.

Xan winced, he felt like shit for what he’d started, he’d just assumed that Spike would be staying here, with Buffy and….him. He didn’t want to lose the only male best friend he’d ever really had.


“I’m not moving to England. How can you expect me to pack up and leave my friends, my life……my mother.” Tears where gathering in her eyes now and for once Spike couldn’t care.

“So you just expect me to leave my world for good? My mother is there Buffy, I don’t like the weather here and did you forget that my ‘Da is buried there or are you just too selfish?”

Buffy was seething. “I’m not leaving Sunnydale Spike, its here for me or nowhere.”

Spike felt like openly bawling. “But pet, I thought you loved me?”

“I do” she said gently.

“Then why wont you come with me?”

“Because my life is here.”

“And mine is in England.”he said sadly.

In a moment of panic Buffy blurted out the most horrific thing that she could. “Spike please stay here, I cant leave my home. Not yet, I cant be away from my mom, it’s too early. Besides, your mom can move here and it’s not like it’s your real dad that’s buried in England.” Her hand flew to her mouth and she broke into tears. “I’m sorry Spike.”

He could only look at her. He knew that she hadn’t meant it but it hurt like a bitch none the less. “I know you are luv’” he said gently as he took off his ring and placed it in her hand before walking out of the dance hall, not looking back once, not seeing Buffy drop to the floor in shock. But even if he had it wouldnt have mattered, they had made their decisions clear. She was staying and he simply wasnt.


Please dont hate me guys lol, like i keep telling you its gonna be a happy ending and their still gonna be nice to each other....please review and let me know, if you guys are nice i'll really try to have this done by tomorrow night, Monday night the latest.....love linz

P.s :Im gonna shamelessly tell you guys about a poem i posted because i would really love your op's on it, please check it out and review, it would mean a lot cause i worked hard on it. It's called My smile, so pretty pretty please......

Omg Im so sorry guys, I fucked up my wrist playing volleyball so I couldn’t type, its still hard to so I don’t think this will be done by tonight, maybe tomorrow, wed for sure. Thanx to all who left reviews, I loved em!



Buffy walked into the house a few hours later. Willow had brought her to her house so that she could calm down first, before seeing him. She walked into his room and turned on the light. He was just sitting there, on his bed, staring at nothing.

“Spike?” her voice was still harsh from all the crying.

“Ya kitten?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” A long pause. “It doesn’t change that this wont work though.”

“Maybe we just rushed into things? Maybe if we talk about it…”

“I’m really not up for a chat with you right now Buffy.”

“Okay, maybe some other time.”

“Ya, maybe.”he answered still looking at the wall.

She walked away and brushed the tears from her face. How could things go from so wrong, to so right so fast.


They didn’t talk much over the next weeks, both too afraid and not up for another round on the merry-go-round of rotating knives, not wanting their feelings cut to shreds. They were both trying to be too adult about it. They still had small converstations and sometimes they did stuff with Willow and Xander but it wasn’t the same.

Before any of them knew it it was Prom week. Buffy hadn’t even given it a moments thought, too busy trying to let go of the pain she felt.

Spike walked over to her after school and stood by her locker till she was done putting her stuff away.

“Mind if I walk you home?”

She smiled softly. “Of course not.”

They walked in silence for a few blocks before he spoke up.
“Buffy I was thinking that maybe you and I could go to the dance together, as friends. I really want to spend some time with you before I leave.”

“Spike, of course I will.”she said with false cheeryness, inside she was dying because she knew it would be the last thing they did together. She didn’t want to make things hard on him though and she bit back her tears.

This Friday night would be the last night she had with Spike, then he’d be gone. For good.


Spike was relieved and hurt at the same time. He was so grateful that she’dd agreed to go with him, he wanted to se her in the prom get up he’d bought her and he wanted their last night to be special, well as special as possible considering their circumstances.uldnt help but be angry at the how cheery she seemed though. ‘She must be over me then.’ He thought to himself as his heart broke even more.


Sorry to cut it so short but my wrist is fucken killing me. I’ll try to post again tonight if it feels better…hey you know what makes me feel better? Reviews lol, get the hint. The pain will be worth it if I know my work is appreciated….

Well guys its almost done. 2 more chaps i think, dont hate me for this one, itll get better. The song i used is "Goodnight Sweet Girl" by Ghost of the Robot.

Spike put his tie on and looked at himself in the mirror. Blonde hair slicked back , check, tux on right, check, corsage for Buffy, check, fake smile to hide my breaking heart, check.

‘Alright then, time to get the girl.’Spike thought as he walked upstairs, he called to Buffy from the living room.

“One sec, almost ready.”she yelled down to him.

Spike paced impatiently for 20 minutes but it was worth it the moment she started to walk down those stairs.

She was wearing everything he’d given her for Christmas, including the ring. Her dress was a baby blue color that hung to her feet in what he could only call the Cinderella effect. It was strapless and she wore the necklace and earrings hed gotten to match. The shoes she wore were white, 3 inch heels that made her taller. ‘The better to dance with you’ he had told her jokingly when she’d pouted that he thought she was a midget and why did she have to wear heels even though they were gorgeous? He’d only laughed and offered to return them but she had swatted him away, admitting she wanted them.

She wore almost no make up save lip gloss and some light cream eye shadow. Her eyes were slightly accentuated with black eyeliner and she was absolutely the most breathtakingly gorgeous thing he had, or would ever see in his life.

“Do I look okay?” she asked nervously when she got to the last step and he still hadn’t said anything.

“Buffy….I…wow.”

Buffy blushed, “Speechless?”

“No pet, there just isn’t a word good enough to describe you right now.”he breathed.

“You look stunning too Spike.” She wished things where back to normal, that he could stay here with her forever, but she pushed those thoughts away. ‘At least have fun tonight, while you can’ she told herself as she took his hand and they walked to her car, driving towards their dance.




When they got there Xan and Will were waiting outside for them. After all the necessary complimenting they went inside and split up, both couples wanting to be alone with themselves. Also Xan and Will had decided to stay away from the two blondes to let them enjoy quality time. Both of them hoped secretly that this was going to clear things up between them but both of them knew how stubborn their two friends could be as well.


A few fast songs played and Buffy and Spike danced and chatted throughout it all, even having fun at some points. But then the D.J had to put a slow song on and make everything awkward. They stared at each other for a moment before stepping into each others arms and swaying to the beat. As the lyrics started to play they moved closer until not even air could get between them.

*Are we done for now,
Or is this for good,
Will there be something in time?
With us there should.

Only girl for me is you
There can be no other one
If I didn't have faith
I would come undone

So much promise in your eyes
Seems that I can only see
It always makes me wonder
If you save it all for me *
It was as though the song had been made for them and tears flooded Buffy’s eyes. “Spike…”

“I know pet, it’s hard.”
They hugged each other tightly as the song rocked them to the core.

*Maybe you do
Maybe you don't
Maybe you should
Probably wont...

Because there will be...

There will be other guys
Who will whisper in your ear
Say they'll take away you sadness
And your fears *

She looked up and cupped her face. “No one will ever replace you Spike.”
He could only lose himself in her eyes, he couldn’t form any words just yet.

*They may be kind and true
They may be good for you
But they'll never care for you
More than I do

I'll be always there
There to the end
I can't do much
But be your one true friend *

“I’ll never stop loving you Buffy Summers.”
The tears fell freely from both their eyes now and nothing they could say or do was going to stop their flow.

*To the end
Through the end
Our lives to spend
With each other till the end
Of time...

Still see the promise in your eyes
And still wonder if it's for me
But i know it's still there
Even when you sleep *

They leaned in slowly and Spike pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that bore too much pain. It was full of goodbye and sorrow and promises that hadn’t been kept.

*So I say, good night sweet girl *

He leaned his forehead on hers and held her for as moment before pulling away. When she saw the look on his face she knew that he was leaving. He whispered “I love you” and as she watched him walk away she knew that he would be come when she got home. He disappeared from view and all she could do was whisper back. “I’m sorry William.”


Ill explain why shes sorry (itll be good dont worry, itll be what leads to the Spuffyness.....review and let me know please!)

It had been over a month since Spike had left now and Buffy was sick of waiting to hear from him. She wouldn’t wait anymore. He hadn’t heard her say she was sorry the night he’d left, hadn’t known how much she had wanted him to stay. She should have told him but she hadn’t, and she’d never been more sorry in her life. She’d tried phoning him a couple of times but his mom had always answered, always telling her that he wasn’t home yet. Until last night when Jenny’s answer had changed. Now he didn’t live there, not even his own mom had his new number. She’d admitted to Buffy that she and Spike had been off since Joyces funeral and had only spoken a handful of times about nothing of importance. Buffy felt bad for causing that rift between them but she also knew it was more then that. Spike couldn’t face the fact that he was the son of a rapist and it haunted him when he looked at his mom. She couldn’t tell her that though, that was for them to work out. But she was sure they would, in time the wounds would heal between them. But Buffy wasn’t sure that her and Spike would be that lucky.



It had been three months now and he still hadn’t called Buffy back once. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to have a “Hows the weather down there buddy” conversation with her. Not with her. Not with the woman who had stolen his heart.

He picked up his guitar and started to play for the crowd at the pub he was playing at. It was a new song, on he’d written about them.

*There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear

There's a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay*

He put down his guitar and walked off the stage, not hearing the cheers from the crowd or the cries for an encore. Once he got behind the curtain he wiped his eyes roughly. Why had he left her? He could have just stayed, it’s not like he needed to be here in England and he could come visit his dad whenever he wanted to. He only had to look at a single star to talk to him when he felt the need anyway. It was probably too late now, she probably had someone else. Best to leave it be.



5 months later


“I’m sorry Parker this just isn’t working out.”

“Oh, well, do you wanna fuck goodbye then?” he asked with a nasty smirk.

She sighed and put the money for her coffee down on the table. “Parker you reject, if I didn’t fuck you while we where dating why in gods name would I fuck you now you moron?”

“For the memories.”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh. “I have enough bad memories.”she shot back as she walked away. This whole dating thing just wasn’t working. She had to do something and she had to do it now.




(A few days after….)

Spike hung up the phone with Xander. He’d finally phoned his friends and he had eaten a lot of shit for not doing it sooner. When he’d asked about Buffy Xander had told him simply, “She has a date.” Spike had let him go a moment later, promising he would phone again soon. He lifted his head high, she was on a date and it didn’t bother him. ‘Stop lying to yourself you ponce’ he mentally chastised himself. Well, it did bother him but if she was happy he was happy for her. In a few moments he had to be onstage to sing his newest song, again it was about his Buffy, but this one was a much happier one. He’d decided to write about how good he had felt when he was with her instead of how bad he felt when he wasn’t.





Buffy’s eyes scanned the crowd. There were enough people there to make it difficult for her to see him. She pushed her way almost to the front when she heard it. Well, him, to be exact and she froze.

“Well here we go guys, it’s about her again.”

He laughed as the crowd went berserk and started to play. He’d given the a small overview of him and Buffy after a couple of people had called out questions one night after his show. He always sang with his eyes closed, he could picture her that way.

*In, I'm falling in
I didn't want to
Not so fast, boy
Slow,
Don't wanna hurt the girl
Give her a pretty box
You better fill it
And I get blinded when she opens the door
It's like looking into the sun, you know
And I'm just blinkin', moanin', starin' at my shoes
And she just looks at me
And smiles
Smiles
Smiles

Oh, there we go again
And it feels so good
I'm fallin' up and down
Damn, it's 2 AM again
And she kisses me goodbye
For the sixteenth time
And I'm driving home, it's 2 AM
And I look at the sun come up over the hills
And the clouds are turning pink and green
And all I can see is her eyes
Eyes
Eyes

I get blinded when she opens the door
It's like looking into the sun, you know
And I'm just blinkin', moanin', starin' at my shoes
And she just looks at me
And smiles
Smiles
Smiles*


The applause was deafening, someone in the back yelled “For fuck sake, go after her already man” and everyone laughed, including him.

“Not that easy Wesley” he yelled back.

Just then a girl bumped into Buffy, pushing her through the few people in front of her, right into the front. Right into his view.

He dropped his guitar and stood there, not believing what he saw.

“Or maybe it is.”he whispered.


Buffy tentatively walked to the stage and he offered her his hand. Grabbing it she was pulled into his arms, he was holding her so tightly she couldn’t breathe and she didn’t care at all.

He was crying openly in front of her and everyone in the pub and he didn’t give a flying fuck. His princess was here in the flesh and he wasn’t gonna let her go.

He looked at his fans and a huge grin broke onto his face. He turned her around so that they could see her.

He took her backstage and pinned her against the wall, crushing her lips to his in a kiss that screamed with need. Both of them pulled away panting and they could hear the crowd cheering for them. They looked at each other and smiled.

“How long you staying pet?”he asked suddenly fearful that she wouldn’t be there long.

“For as long as it takes.”came her simple reply.

“For as long as what takes kitten?”

“To do things right this time.”

They kissed again and both of them knew that they wouldn’t mess it up this time, that this time they would get it right. They couldn’t go back to being with out each other, they’d tried that and failed miserably. Problems would come and go, tears would be shed by both, some days they would drive each other crazy, but they both knew that it would be worth it.

Spike looked her in the eyes and frowned slightly. “Didn’t you have a date tonight?”

“Yu-huh.” She giggled.

“With who?”he growled.

“With destiny.”she snorted right after saying it and Spike cracked up.

“That was awful pet.”he said with a grin.

“I know but Buffy comes with bad jokes, take it or leave it.”she teased.

“Well I know I’ll never leave it.”he said hugging her again.

“Promise?”

“You know it’s true luv’”

“I know but I want you to swear it on something, so I know you’ll always be there.

“I swear it on my soul.”

She wanted to keep the moment semi-playful, she knew that they both had a lot to talk about and that they had to work out a lot of issues, things had to be worked out properly before they could truly be together again but she also knew that talking about these things in a dirty hallway of a pub was not where it should happen. It should be done in a house, or a bedroom…….she thought with a cheeky grin.

Spike knew that this was definitely not the place to discuss their reconciliation and the plans for the future and knew she felt the same way when her face went from serious to smirking.
“You have a soul?”

“Ya, kind of stings.” He replied before they walked out the back door hand in hand into daylight that warmed their faces, while they warmed each others hearts.







Well its done guys hope you liked it. I didn’t want things to be too perfect between them because they hurt each other a lot and I wanted it to be more realistic. But there happy and theyre back together, so I did what I promised lol. I made them walk into the sun simply because I wish Spike had been able to do that in the shows finale…..sigh, I miss the show sooooo much (sobs). Anyway it was hard for me to stop this fic but I think I ended it as best as I could. I hope you guys think so too!. Please review and let me know what you thought, I”d love to hear it. The songs I used where Hoobastanks Disapear and Ghost of the Robots Smile. I might add an epilogue but youll have to leave a review to let me know if you want one, itll be sweet, that much i can promise.

2 years later
----------------

Spike picked up his guitar and smiled out at the crowd. “Good news guys, weve been signed!”

The crowd went crazy, he had been playing there for about three years and had finally got a break.

Things with him and Buffy where great. They’d been married in the summer of the previous year. It had taken time to work past their issues but they had done it.

He waited until the crowd quieted down and spoke again.

“This one’s about me and mine.” He said giving Buffy a wink, she was sitting at her usual place right in the front. She smiled at him. “It’s a new one so I hope I get it right” he said with a small smile. He hadn’t even let Buffy hear it yet, he had wanted to see her face when she heard it.

*Lying in my bed i hear the clock tick,
and I think of you
caught up in circles
confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
almost left behind
suitcases of memories,
time after *

God they’d almost lost so much as he sang while staring into Buffys eyes, seeing them tear. His eyes never left hers as he continued.

*Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
you're calling to me,
I can't hear what you've said
Then you say , go slow
I fall behind
the second hand unwinds*

She was so lucky to have him. That theyd had a second chance to do things right. Some people never got that, she mouthed the words I love you.


*If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
time after time*

Buffys hand flew to her mouth and tears streamed down her cheeks. Those where the vows Spike had spoken to her on their wedding day. The vows he’d repeated before making love to her that night. The vows he’d whispered WHILE making love to her that night. Spike saw her and smiled.

*After my picture fades
and darkness has turned to gray
watching through windows
you're wondering if I'm O.K.
secrets stolen from deep inside
the drum beats out of time*

Spike hated that their had been a time when they had not been together but this song represented their whole relationship, and he knew that Buffy would understand that. She was his goddess and he would die for her in a second. The only regret he’d have if that happened would be that he wouldn’t be able to see her beautiful face looking up at him, that was how much he loved her.



*If you're lost you can look
and you will find me
time after time
If you fall I will catch you
I'll be waiting I will be waiting
time after time*
...

You said go slow -
I fall behind
the second hand unwinds -


If you're lost you can look
and you will find me
time after time
If you fall I will catch you
I'll be waiting
time after time*

...time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time*



He played out the last notes to the song and everyone was hushed for a moment. Then the cheering began. He’d never heard them so responsive before and couldn’t help smiling with pride.“Did you like it?”he asked as he jumped from the stage to sit with her and hold her hand.

“It was so beautiful Spike.”she gushed.

“Of course it was pet, it was about you.” He whispered and placed a small kiss to her forehead and she leaned into him.

“She’s acting up tonight.” Buffy said and rubbed her tummy again.

“He’s definitely got spirit” Spike said as he put his hand over hers, “Little Billy is gonna be-“

She cut him off. “For the last time Spike if we have a boy im not naming him Billy just cuz you like some freaky singer guy.”

Spike gasped. “Billy Idol was an icon, it’s a good, strong name to have.”he pouted.

“Ya and so is Spike.”she said and snorted.

“Hey whats wrong with Spike?”

“I wish I knew.”, her face let him know she was only playing around and he joined in.

“And the name Buffy just screams Yale graduate”he teased back.

She fake sulked until a smile lit her pretty little face.

“What you smiling at kitten?”

“We sound like an old married couple with all the bickering.”she said laughing.

“Well it’s good practice isn’t it luv?”

“Practice for what?”she asked confused.

“For when we’re an old married couple. I’ll never let you go pet.”he said nuzzling her neck.

“I’d never let you.”she whispered and leaned in to kiss him.

The baby kicked again harder then it ever had. “Oh ya, it’s definitely your son.” Buffy said with a roll of her eyes. Spike smirked and she couldn’t help but love the fact that she had the rest of her life to see him look at her like that.

All of a sudden she gasped as she felt one his hands slip under her skirt and he had a wicked shine in his eyes. she knew that some things would never change, no matter what.






The end, I hope you guys liked it, im not sure if I did lol but I did the best that I could so review if you want, it would be nice. Thanx to all my readers and reviewers if it hadn’t been for you guys I might never have started this fic! I love you all!