Chapter One

Run! Don’t stop. Never stop running. Buffy revelled in the adrenaline that surged through her. The chilled night air sawed in and out of her burning lungs. The muscles in her legs screamed at her to rest. Still she kept on, the distance stretching out behind her in ever greater lengths. Only one thought consumed her, Faster. Must go faster.

She crossed four of Sunnydale’s largest cemeteries before her legs began to falter. Panic threatened to engulf her as she realised she was slowing down. With an anguished cry of frustration she fell heavily to the ground, pain shooting up her left leg as her foot twisted awkwardly beneath her. Her chest heaved as she lay there, making no enough to rise. Tears tracked a silent path down her cheeks. That’s how he found her.

Spike was on his way home, bag loaded with Wheaties and blood in one hand, bottle of Jack Daniels in the other. He’d been weaving through the cemetery humming to himself when he heard the Slayer cry out. Shrugging absentmindedly he made his way toward the sound. No harm in helping her out, he reasoned to himself, not like I’ve got anything better to do.

Spike was surprised to find Buffy just lying there on the ground. Not a demon in sight, he noted with a quick look around before turning his attention back to Buffy. Her face was flushed and sweaty, her body shaking slightly. She looked for all the world like she might just lie there till she rotted.

“Dangerous place to take a nap Slayer.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Spike’s sarcastic drawl. “Fuck off Spike,” she muttered. Spike noted the lack of fire in her harsh words. Disappointment filled him as he realised that the past two months had done nothing to change the fact that she hated being alive again. He’d thought that with time, and the love and support of Dawn and her friends, Buffy would begin to heal. But looking at her vacant eyes and gaunt face, he knew that if anything she suffered now more than ever. That’s it, he thought to himself. She’s wallowed long enough. If her friends can’t help her, I’ll just have to do it for them.

With that thought in mind Spike dropped his bag and the bottle of JD, moved behind her and, gripping her under her arms, hauled her unceremoniously to her feet. “Spike what the hell…” Buffy’s shriek of outrage turned to a cry of pain as her weight landed on her left ankle.

“What’s wrong,” Spike asked as he reached out to steady her before she fell down again.

Buffy glared at him. “I hurt my ankle. You would have known that if you’d bothered to ask before you manhandled me.”

Concern marred his brow as he knelt to inspect her ankle. Relieved to find it wasn’t broken he stood. “You’ve sprained it,” he stated simply.

“Duh,” Buffy spat at him, attempting to put pressure on it and wincing at the pain.

“Right then.” Reaching for his things Spike shoved them at Buffy, who grabbed them instinctively. Then, sweeping her up into his arms, he carried her in the direction of his crypt, tightening his grip when she began to struggle. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

“Oh pipe down,” Spike answered irritably. “I’ve got ice at my place. It’ll take the swelling down.” Spike paused to look at her. “Unless you’d rather I took you home.”

Upon hearing his words Buffy became still. She didn’t particularly want to go with Spike (just his presence was making her stomach do flip flops), but she couldn’t face the thought of going home yet. Sullenly she turned her face away from him and kept her silence.

“That’s what I thought,” Spike said quietly. Then, settling her more comfortably in his arms, he took her home.


Chapter Two

Spike strode into his crypt with Buffy still cradled in his arms. At first he’d relished the feel of her warmth against him. And her scent – all sunshine and vanilla. But as his body began reacting to her closeness, holding her had become a kind of exquisite torture. Reminding him of everything he could never have.

With a mixture of relief and regret he deposited her in his one comfy chair. Kneeling in front of her he began removing her left boot, praying she wouldn’t notice the bulge in the front of his jeans and stake him for getting off on touching her when she was injured.

Daring a glance at her face he found her staring at him like a petulant child. Her hair was all mussed, her full lips drawn into a tight line. He thought she looked adorable.

Quickly Spike moved to retrieve some ice from his small freezer and, wrapping it in a towel, returned to place the towel around her ankle. The silence in the room weighted heavily on him and he sort to break the tension. “What happened to you tonight?”

Buffy knew instinctively that no matter what she told him he would accept her as she was. He wasn’t desperate for her to be happy like everyone else in her life; he was content just to spend time with her. Watching him wait so patiently for her to answer, his ice blue eyes never wavering from her own, Buffy found herself talking. The words tumbling from her mouth in a torrent, revealing everything, and the relief that began to fill her was overwhelming.

She’d been out patrolling when she’d found herself just sitting on a gravestone staring at nothing. Remembering the peace she’d felt when she’d been in Heaven and how she longed to feel that way again. Even for a moment. But no matter how still she became, no matter how silent, there was always that deafening roar of activity. Her heart beating, her blood flowing, air being drawn in and out of her lungs. In and out, in and out. It was an endless cycle that drove her crazy. Then a thought had suddenly occurred to her, if only she could break free of the body, maybe her soul could know peace again.

“Stupid idea I know,” Buffy said, dragging herself back to the present. “But at the time I didn’t exactly stop to think about it. I just ran, hoping that…”

“Hoping what Buffy?” Spike encouraged.

Glancing at him, Buffy shrugged, “That my soul could go faster than my legs?” She looked disdainfully at her hands, stretching them out before her. “That this shell would fall away and I could soar into the darkness. Free.” Turning one hand toward him she placed it on Spike’s chest, over his un-beating heart. “I almost envy you your stillness,” she whispered.

Shock kept Spike silent as he took in all she had told him. He’d known that being brought back to life had been traumatic for her, and that she was grieving for what she had lost, but he’d had no idea that her mind was so completely out of touch with her body. It was like she’d been fractured into two pieces. Absently he placed a hand over hers. He couldn’t think straight with her fingers gently stroking his chest like that. He had to think if he was going to help her.

Suddenly an idea occurred to him and he latched onto it with fervour. Doesn’t like her body does she? he thought with a sly grin. We’ll just see about that.

Chapter Three

Buffy was annoyed. No, annoyed wasn’t a strong enough word. She was pissed off! Here she bares her soul, to Spike of all people, and what does he do? Wagging a finger at her he says, “Don’t move,” and then he disappears down the stairs to the bottom floor of the crypt. At first she had heard some banging and muttering, then the sound of running water, and finally silence.

Glancing at the door Buffy considered leaving in a huff, but her anger got the better of her and she limped awkwardly down the stairs ready to give Spike a piece of her mind.

Her anger gave way to confusion as she took in the site before her. The room was lit by a multitude of vanilla scented candles (her favourite). In the corner sat the biggest bath tub she’d ever seen. It practically overflowed with bubbles, and the rising steam hinted at the hot water lurking beneath.

Spike, who had been lighting the last of the candles when she came in, stood watching her, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

“What are you doing?” Buffy was more than a little wary.

“The way I figure it,” Spike said as he walked toward her, “you’ve got two problems. Your mind is so busy trying to escape from its so called shell that you’re forgetting you’re not trapped. Buffy this flesh, it’s a part of who you are.” As he spoke he ran his fingers through her hair, and she fought to stop from leaning into his touch.

“A-And the second?” Buffy cringed at the husky sound of her voice. Ho much?

Leaning in close Spike whispered in her ear, “You’ve forgotten how to feel pleasure.”

Even as his words caused shivers to run down her spine Buffy tensed, suddenly convinced that this was no more than a new way of trying to get into her pants. She wasn’t up to resisting him tonight. Breaking away from him she flung out an arm to indicate the tub, “And this is supposed to solve my problems?”

“Well it can’t hurt.”

“And I suppose you’re going to tell me that your motives have nothing to do with me being all naked in your crypt.”

Spike felt himself harden instantly at the image those words conjured. He gave an exasperated sigh. “Look Slayer, all I’m offering you is a couple of hours to relax. No one knows you’re here. There is no one to make demands on you. I’ll be just upstairs so there won’t even be any nasties to come in and surprise you.”

It does sound awfully tempting, Buffy thought as she eyed the steaming tub. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don’t,” Spike replied, then reaching around her he slid a stake from her jeans pocket, enjoying the feel of his fingers gliding momentarily along her tight buttock. Handing her the stake he gave her a wry grin, “But we both know that if I piss you off I’ll be dusted faster than you can call me a bastard.”

With an unladylike snort Buffy finally relented and gave him a nudge toward the stairs. “Go on, get up there and start protecting me from those nasties.”

Nodding, Spike dragged his gaze away from her and made his way up the stairs.

After waiting a few moments to make sure Spike was gone Buffy quickly shed her clothes and slid into the tub. An appreciative groan escaped her lips as she settled into the hot water. After the strain of the past few hours the heat was like a balm on her aching muscles. Spying a washcloth and soap she lathered up and began running the rough cloth over her tired limbs, enjoying the feel of it against her skin. Maybe Spike has a point, she mused, relaxing in a hot bath is not exactly something that I’ve had time for since I got back. Scooping up a handful of bubbles she blew into it, smiling as she watched bubbles fly all over the place. With a sigh she relaxed back and closed her eyes. Just a few more minutes, she promised herself, then I’ll go home.

Sometime later Spike sat tensely in his comfy chair pretending to watch the tele. Ever since he came up from downstairs he’d cursed his vampire hearing as her little mewls of pleasure reached him. Just the thought of her so close, all wet and naked, eyes closed, lips parted in relaxation, was enough to keep him in an agonising state of arousal. But now he hadn’t heard so much as a splash in over half an hour and he was beginning to worry.

Easing his way down the top couple of steps he bent to peer into the room, and rolled his eyes. Buffy was sound asleep. Straightening, he cleared his throat loudly, “Slayer!”

Buffy came awake with a shriek, limbs splashing about in the now cool water. Spying Spike’s boots near the top of the stairs she shrieked again, “Spike what are you doing in here?”

“Saving you from drowning I’ll wager Pet.”

“Well get the hell out!”

Shaking his head Spike stomped back up the stairs, muttering that he should have left her sorry arse there to drown.

As soon as he was gone Buffy scrambled out of the tub. Drying off on a nearby towel she hurriedly pulled her clothing back on and, taking a fortifying breath, made her way up the stairs.

Spike turned as he heard her approach, noting the slight limp from her injured ankle.

“I should probably get going,” she spoke quietly. “Dawn will be worried.”

“Right then,” Spike nodded.

“Thanks for…” Thanks for what, Buffy thought. For being there whenever she needed him? For not pressuring her? For helping her relax for the first time in months?

“Thanks for tonight.” Oh yeah, she groaned inwardly, that was downright moving. Idiot.

Spike just looked at her with those intensely blue eyes, a small smile playing across his lips. “You’re welcome.”

Grabbing his car keys off a nearby bench he headed for the door, throwing a quick, “Come on, I’ll drive you home,” over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to do that, I can…”

Spike cut her off with a look. “You’re hurt Buffy. If you come across any vampires on the way home you’ll be at a disadvantage.”

“Besides,” he added with a shrug, “I just got you all loosened up. Wouldn’t want to let that go to waste.”

With that he walked out the door, leaving her little choice but to follow.

Chapter Four

She slipped quietly into the crypt just as the sun was setting. He watched her silently as she stood just inside the door, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. Her long golden hair hung loose around her shoulders. The sleek lines of her body were enhanced by the black parts and strappy red top she wore. Just the sight of her was enough to fill him with longing.

When her searching eyes found him Buffy gasped in surprise. “Spike. There you are.” Moving forward she flicked on a lamp and a dim light filled the room.

“Evening Slayer,” Spike approached her slowly. “How’s the ankle?”

“It’s much better,” she replied. Then, taking a deep breath she continued, “I just came by to thank you again for last night. It helped. Got the best night’s sleep I’ve had since…well since I got back.”

Spike smiled at her words, glad he’d been able to give her some relief from her suffering. “Good,” he said with a nod. “Have a seat.” He indicated his comfy chair.

“Umm, okay,” Buffy knew she should patrol but found herself settling into the chair. A short visit wouldn’t hurt.

After disappearing momentarily Spike returned carrying two objects: a wooden stake and a blindfold. Crouching in front of her he handed her the stake, then held up the blindfold. His gaze locked with hers as his eyes silently asked her permission.

Buffy was incredulous, “You are kidding right?”

“Come on Slayer. I’ll make it worth your while.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Oh that is so definitely a no.” She started to rise from the chair but Spike’s hand on her arm made her pause.

“Buffy,” he spoke quietly. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise you won’t regret it.” When he saw she was thinking about it he added, “I know you’re curious.”

That did it. Buffy’s heart was thumping loudly and her brain was screaming at her to get the hell out of there but in truth she was curious to know what he had in mind. With a small groan of defeat she dropped back into the chair. When Spike granted her a warm smile she couldn’t help but smile back, glad that she had decided to stay.

Standing, Spike quickly fastened the blindfold around her head. For the next few minutes she could hear him moving around the crypt, opening and closing doors. Butterflies were doing somersaults in her belly as she wondered what he was up to and it took all her willpower not to peek.

Finally Spike settled onto a short stool in front of her. He grinned at the look on her face. “Relax Slayer. I promise not to bite. Now open wide.”

“Excuse me?” Buffy wondered if she had heard him correctly.

“That pretty little mouth of yours. Open it.”

Somewhat nervously Buffy licked her lips, allowing them to part slightly. At the sight of her pink tongue all the borrowed blood in Spike’s body made a mad dash for his groin. If he’d been human he was sure he would have fainted. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, he thought as he stared at her parted lips. But, now committed, he decided it was best to just get on with it.

When Buffy felt something firm touch her lips she jumped slightly.

“Bite,” Spike said softly. Calling herself all kinds of stupid Buffy sank her teeth into the…strawberry? She laughed in relief when she recognised the delicious sweetness of the fruit. When she felt the strawberry at her lips again she readily took a larger bite. “I love strawberries,” she exclaimed.

“Good, have another,” Spike said as he popped a piece of fruit into her mouth.

Buffy chewed momentarily before laughing, “You cheated, that’s honey dew melon.”

“You caught me,” he chuckled, plucking another item from the small pile beside him.

Then Buffy felt something soft against her cheek. Before she had time to wonder what it was she caught the scent. Roses. She gave a pleased sigh as Spike trailed the flower over both her cheeks, and slowly down her bare throat. He lingered briefly at her collarbone, enjoying the way her heartbeat increased slightly as she leaned into the touch. Finally he continued the feather-light strokes down her arm before tossing the rose to the floor.

Leaning closer he whispered in her ear, “Time to poke out your tongue.”

Dazed, Buffy complied without thought. Taking her chin gently in one hand Spike used the other to upend a squeeze bottle and drizzle honey on her tongue. Drawing it quickly back into her mouth Buffy made little moans of pleasure as she sucked at the honey. His fingertips drinking in the feel of her soft skin, Spike caressed her cheek before reluctantly withdrawing his hand.

By now Buffy was breathing heavily. This assault on her senses, the tastes, the touches, the scents, were like an aphrodisiac to her. She could feel her body coming to life as heat spread languidly through every part of her. Hoping she wasn’t being too obvious, Buffy squirmed a little in her chair in an attempt to get more comfortable while she awaited Spike’s next move.

Unbeknownst to her, Spike was busy fighting tooth and nail to keep himself under control. The scent of Buffy’s arousal was coming off of her in waves and it was quickly driving him mad. His cock throbbed painfully in his jeans as he forced himself to remember all the reasons he couldn’t touch her. The stake she still had gripped tightly in her right hand was not the least of those reasons. Nevertheless he could feel himself edging closer to her, irresistibly drawn to the warmth that radiated from her body.

His gaze focused intently on her mouth, he picked up another tidbit from his pile and leaned in close. His mouth just inches from hers, he caressed her full bottom lip with his thumb. “Open.”

When she complied he placed a square of chocolate on her tongue, shuddering when she closed her lips over his fingers as he withdrew them from her mouth. Sucking on the chocolate she groaned loudly in appreciation of the smooth sinful taste. When his name escaped her lips on a quiet moan he couldn’t suppress his growl of pleasure.

The soft sound drove Buffy wild. Reaching out, she ran her fingers through the soft curls at the nape of his neck as she allowed her forehead to rest against his. “More,” she demanded, her voice husky with need.

Fumbling blindly with his left hand Spike found what he was looking for. A can of whipped cream. Giving it a quick shake he took her hand and sprayed a generous line of cream along her index finger. He was surprised when she brought it to his mouth instead of her own. Gladly he took the cream covered digit into his mouth, cleaning it thoroughly with his tongue.

Buffy’s heart was pounding. Her breathing came in shallow pants as she imagined that talented mouth on other parts of her body. Leaning toward him slowly she drew her finger away and replaced it with her lips.

Shocked to his core, Spike held still for fear that she would realise what she was doing and stop. But when she slipped her tongue between his lips to explore the coolness of his mouth, he was lost.

Unable to control himself any longer Spike gave free reign to the passion and need that were clawing at him. Burying his hands in her hair he ravished her mouth. His tongue duelling with hers.

He tasted like whiskey, cream, blood and earth. Buffy was drunk on the seductive combination. Needing to be closer she slid off the chair onto his lap. The feel of his hard, denim clad thighs between her legs sent liquid heat coursing through her and she cried out in pleasure.

Spike’s hands were everywhere. Unbridled joy mixed with carnal lust as he relished the feel of finally having the woman he loved in his arms. Cupping one of her breasts in his hand he kneaded it gently, running his thumb over the hard nipple. Tearing his mouth from hers he kissed and licked his way down her neck. Drawing the straps of her top down her shoulders he bared her small but firm breasts to his hungry gaze. Taking one rosy nipple between his lips he sucked gently, rejoicing at the sexy little noises she made as she held him to her, hips grinding unconsciously against his throbbing cock. As much as he was enjoying her movements Spike knew if he didn’t do something soon this would come to a somewhat quick and embarrassing end.

Drawing her legs around his waist he rose from the stool and carried her down the steps to his bedroom. When he laid her down on the bed she immediately began tugging at his t-shirt, fumbling when the blindfold prevented her from seeing what she was doing. Smiling at her frustration he quickly shed his clothing and reached for her again.

She shivered when he lifted her top over her head. Bending over her he licked and kissed her nipples as he undid the clasp and zipper on her pants and pulled them, with her black lace panties, over her hips. When she was naked, save for the blindfold, he paused to drink in the sight of her. She was perfect. With her skin flushed with desire and her chest heaving, she looked like a goddess. Had she told him to kneel in worship he would have done so without question.

A small whimper broke him from his thoughts and he joined her on the bed, covering her body with his. They both groaned aloud at the shock as cool skin touched hot.

Buffy attacked Spike’s mouth, wanting to touch every part of him. She gloried at the weight of his body pushing her into the soft mattress, and when he slipped his naked thigh between her legs, rubbing against her core, she thought she’d go mad. Her hips rose to meet him in frenzied movements, her body crying out for his. Rubbing her entire body against his length she became desperate to be closer, to have him inside her.

Rolling Spike into his back Buffy rose up onto her knees. Reaching for his hard cock she positioned him at her entrance. With one swift movement she slid down the entire length of him, smiling wickedly at his shout of surprise.

After a few moments she started to move, rolling her hips as she glided up and down his shaft. Leaning forward she rubbed the tips of her nipples against his chest as his hands stroked her back.

Quickly their movements became more frantic as they both hurtled toward release. Rolling them back over, Spike began to pound Buffy into the mattress with hard deep thrusts. Biting into her neck with blunt teeth he suckled on her tender skin, keening softly. When he felt her muscles begin to spasm around him, her cries of ecstasy filling his ears, the tenuous grasp he had on his control broke and he roared his own release. His dead seed exploding into her welcoming body.

As their ragged breathing began to slow Spike moved to lie by Buffy’s side, gathering her into his arms. He was pleased when she snuggled against him. With a final tender kiss he carefully removed the blindfold.

Buffy blinked several times as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. Turning her head slightly she looked at Spike. His hair was mussed and his eyes had turned a deep, velvet blue. She thought he’d never looked more handsome, more human. She had expected to find him waiting expectantly for…what? A declaration of love? Another snog? Something! Instead he just watched her, content, sated. Relieved, she reached up to stroke his cheek. “I have to go,” she said quietly.

“I know,” he replied.

Rising from the bed Buffy gathered her clothes and dressed quickly, suddenly self-conscious of her nakedness. Out of the corner of her eye she snuck glances at Spike as he stepped into his pants. She practically drooled at the sight of his muscular body as she recalled how it had felt beneath her fingers. The memory caused a fresh stirring in the pit of her stomach and, squashing it firmly, she fled up the stairs.

Crossing the room she spied the pile of food beside the chair she’d been sitting in, along with the forgotten stake, and smiled. “Still hungry Pet?” Spike drawled as he came up behind her. Turning to face him she smirked, “I think I’m done for now.”

“For now?” Spike grinned saucily and he slid his arms around her waist.

Buffy stiffened at the hope she heard in his voice and regretted her words. “Spike, I don’t know…”

“Hey,” he cut her off sharply, “none of that now. I’m not looking for promises. And I’ll make only one demand on you.” Taking her face between his palms he forced her to meet his gaze. “Don’t regret what happened here tonight. Right or wrong it was bloody good for both of us. Don’t ever regret.”

She smiled and nodded. “I promise,” she whispered. Backing away from him she turned to leave but paused when he called her name.

“How about Friday night? You, me and Dawn. I’ll even bring dinner.”

Taking a deep breath Buffy thought for a moment. “Okay,” she said softly, and disappeared from the doorway.

Spike released the unneeded breathe he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. A small smile touched his lips. “It’s a date.”

By sunset on Friday Dawn was so excited she bounced, rather than walked, around the house. When Buffy told her a few days ago that Spike was coming over for dinner, Dawn had squealed so loudly Buffy thought she’d burst an eardrum. She hadn’t realised how much Dawn had missed having Spike around.

“You spent a lot of time together while I was…you know…gone?” They sat on the couch in the living room while they waited for Spike to arrive. Willow and Tara had gone out for the night so they had the house to themselves.

“Yeah,” Dawn smiled at her sister. “It was great when Willow and Tara moved in, but they were out a lot at night. I thought they were out staking vamps the whole time, but I guess they were working on bringing you back as well.”

Buffy dropped her gaze to her lap but Dawn caught the look of sadness that flickered across her features and hurried on to the point of her story.

“Spike came over every time. He was such a pain sometimes,” she laughed at the memory, “He refused to let me be alone for even two seconds.” Leaning closer she confided, “He taught me to play poker.”

Dawn was still laughing at the look on her sister’s face when the doorbell rang. Running to open the front door Dawn greeted Spike with a big smile. “Hi Spike.”

“Ello Niblet,” Spike strode into the house laden with bags. “I hope you like Chinese.”

“Ha! You know I love it,” Dawn confirmed.

Taking a deep breathe to steady her nerves, Buffy rose from the couch as he entered the room. Their gazes met and locked.

“Hello Spike,” Buffy almost cringed when heard the slight quiver in her voice.

“Slayer,” he replied with a nod. When his eyes travelled the length of her body Buffy suddenly found herself wishing she’d worn something more appealing. The basic white t-shirt and old jeans had been her pathetic attempt at convincing herself she didn’t care what he thought of her. But now, as his lust-filled gaze returned to hers, she realised she could have worn a sack and it wouldn’t have made any difference. He would have wanted her anyway. The thought sent her pulse kicking into overdrive.

Dawn stood watching the two with amusement. Something was definitely going on here. Finally she decided if she didn’t break the silent they may just end up standing there staring at each other all night. “I’m gonna go get some plates and stuff.”

“I’ll help,” two voices spoke at once.

Dawn grinned and headed for the kitchen. “No, it’s cool. I’ll just be a sec.”

Now that they were alone Spike approached Buffy with a slow saunter, amused by her nervous fidgeting. Reaching into the pocket of his duster he drew out a wooden stake and held it before her. “For you,” he drawled sardonically.

Buffy looked from the stake to Spike’s face and back again. “I don’t think I’ll be needing that tonight,” she said quietly. An eyebrow lifted in surprise, followed by a smile so pure that she found herself smiling in return.

Stashing the stake Spike handed her two videos. “Perhaps these will be more to your liking.”

Taking the videos Buffy inspected their covers, intrigued to know what a vampire would watch. “’Monty Python’s Holy Grail’ and ‘Sleepless in Seattle’?”

“Yeah well,” he explained, “I figure you could do with a few laughs. And women go all weepy at chick flicks, and then they need big strong arms to comfort them.” He threw her an evil smirk and a wink before heading for the dining room where Dawn was setting the table. Buffy rolled her eyes and followed.

Dawn and Spike spent the next hour chatting amicably over dinner. Dawn filled Spike in on what she’d been doing at school; proudly informing him of the ‘A’ she’d gotten on the history assignment he’d helped her with. Then they had a lively debate about who would end up with whom on Passions. Buffy was quiet through most of the meal. But she did follow the conversation rather than disappear into her own world. She even laughed at their easy banter. As far as Dawn was concerned that in itself was a huge improvement.

When dinner was finished Buffy shooed Spike and Dawn into the lounge room to set up the first movie, insisting on clearing the table herself. As they settled themselves on the couch Spike became serious. “How’s she doing Pet?”

“Better I think,” Dawn replied thoughtfully. “At first it was hard. She just sort of sat there all the time, not doing or saying anything. She was just…empty. Like she was alive again on the outside but still kind of dead on the inside, you know?”

Spike nodded. “And now?”

“She’s really been a lot better this past week or so. Although…,” she paused and a confused frown creased her forehead.

“Although what?” Spike urged.

“Well, she’s doing some strange things. She takes these long baths every night, with music and wine and candles. She spends hours just sitting in front of the mirror brushing her hair. And the other day she went out and bought all this food. Not the vegetables and stuff she normally gets. She bought this huge tub of chocolate mousse, and heaps of strawberries and cakes and all the things she used to love. Then she just sat there eating it all with this blissful look on her face. So it’s all good, I mean, she seems happier, but it’s just…kind of weird.”

Spike was stunned. He’d never dreamed his efforts were having such a profound effect on her. He was still reeling when Buffy entered the room. “So, what are we watching first?” she asked cheerfully.

Within ten minutes the three of them were ensconced on the couch in the darkened lounge room watching a very strange looking King Arthur argue with some castle knights about African and European swallows. Spike was in the middle with Dawn snuggled up to him on one side and Buffy trying desperately to appear comfortable while not coming anywhere near him on the other. Turning his head he whispered, “Relax Slayer, before you break something.”

Feeling a bit silly, Buffy sighed and gave up the rigid stance she’d been holding. Relaxing back into the couch she drew her legs up under her, allowing her knees to rest against Spike’s right thigh. Placing a hand just above one of her knees Spike gave it a gentle squeeze and went back to watching the movie. Now comfortable, Buffy did the same, and before long she found herself laughing with the others.

By the time Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks met on the top of the Empire State Building Dawn was sound asleep, and Buffy was unconsciously clutching at Spike’s arm. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

An evil chuckle echoed in Spike’s mind. Works every time, he thought wickedly.

As the credits started to roll Buffy turned to meet Spike’s gaze. “Did you like the movie Pet?” his eyes roamed her face, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between them and nibble on that pouty lower lip.

“Yes, thank you,” she nodded. He’s going to kiss me, she thought and she felt the first faint rippling of excitement course through her.

Spike heard Buffy’s breathing quicken. She watched him, unmoving, her lips parted slightly in invitation. He knew what she was waiting for.

He leaned forward slowly, giving her plenty of time to change her mind. Buffy’s eyes drifted closed, her body screaming in anticipation. His lips were a whisper away from hers.

“Is the movie over?” Dawn rolled over to blink at them through sleepy eyes.

Buffy jerked back, her eyes snapping open in surprise. Spike swore softly.

“Yeah Dawnie,” Buffy hoped she didn’t sound too disappointed, “the movie’s over.”

“Okay,” Dawn yawned noisily, “Well I’m gonna go to bed.”

Saying goodnight Dawn gave them both a kiss on the cheek and disappeared up the stairs.

An awkward silence filled the room. Neither one quite knew what to say or do next. Desperate to fill the void Buffy racked her brain for something to say. “Coffee?” she squeaked finally.

“Sure,” he nodded. Abruptly Buffy jumped up and fled the room, leaving a bemused Spike to stare at the empty spot where she’d been.

Buffy busied herself in the kitchen. Putting the kettle on to boil, getting out cups, sugar, coffee, anything to keep herself from thinking about the horny vampire in the next room. What the hell was she doing getting involved with another vampire? And a soulless one at that!

Having sex with him the other night was one thing. She could at least put that down to the heat of the moment. And after he’d made her promise not to regret it she’d decided not to analyse it. To just be thankful that it had happened (after all she’d found the memories very useful at night when she was curled up in her lonely bed) and move on.

But this! Sharing dinner, snuggling in front of movies, almost kissing him! If Dawn hadn’t been there she probably would have pounced on him. The image that thought brought to mind had her body reacting so swiftly that she groaned in frustration.

Lost in her thoughts Buffy didn’t sense Spike’s approach until he was right behind her. She gasped when he trailed his fingertips up her bare arms. All logic flew out the window as she turned to draw his mouth down to hers. His loud groan drove her wild and she pressed herself against him, pushing him up against the island in the middle of the kitchen. Spike slipped a leg between her thighs, delighting in her cry when he pressed against her centre. Flexing her hips Buffy began to ground herself against him, moaning into his mouth as their tongues duelled. Spike’s erection pressed painfully against his jeans as she slid and moved against him but he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned this was as close to Heaven he was ever likely to get.

Lifting her slight form he turned them around and sat Buffy on the edge of the island. She quickly wrapped her legs around his waist. Now she was at just the right height to feel the hard length of him flush against her wetness through the two layers of denim and, gripping him tightly between her legs, she arched her head back in ecstasy.

Accepting her silent offering Spike bit into her neck with blunt teeth and sucked gently on her hot skin. Using one hand to support her back he slid the other beneath her t-shirt. He cupped one lace-covered breast, kneading it before taking the hard nipple between two fingers and pinching.

With a strangled cry Buffy bucked up against him. Clutching at his shoulders she thrashed around in his arms. She could feel the pressure building deep inside her and knew she was close to shattering. As focussed as she was on her impending release she never heard the faint sound that reached Spike’s ears. The opening and closing of the front door.

As the sound penetrated the lust-filled haze clouding his brain he almost roared in disappointment.

Hearing voices approaching the kitchen he knew he had mere seconds to get them both out of their very compromising position. With a quick hard kiss to her mouth Spike tore himself out of her grasp. Then, pulling her onto her somewhat wobbly legs, he straightened her clothes and scooted back to the other side of the room.

All Buffy knew was that she’d been seconds away from the most explosive orgasm of her life when suddenly her arms were empty and she was pulled abruptly to her feet. Utter confusion filled her as she spotted Spike standing on the other side of the room. She was just opening her mouth to explode at him in anger and frustration when she heard Willow’s voice.

“Hi guys.”

She turned to see Willow and Tara entering the room and stared at them. Her mouth hung open in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“Tara wasn’t feeling well so we decided to come home rather than stay the night at Mom’s place.” Willow frowned, something was definitely off here. She eyed Spike, standing stiffly in the corner, then looked back at Buffy’s flushed face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Buffy blurted, “Of course…we were just…I mean…we were…”

“I was just leaving,” Spike said suddenly. Looking at Buffy he let her see the desire that was still coursing through him. “Slayer.” Turning he walked out of the room and moments later they all heard the front door slam.

Buffy stifled a miserable moan, her body still aching with need. Then, painting on a bright smile, she said goodnight to Willow and Tara and climbed the stairs to her room.

As she closed the door she heard a soft growl and swung around to find Spike lying on her bed – naked. “Didn’t think I could leave you wanting like that did you?” he drawled.

Buffy laughed in delight as she moved toward him.

Chapter Six

“Do you think there’s a reason I’m here Spike?”

“You like having your hair brushed?”

“No…I mean I do, but that’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean Pet?”

“Well, you know how sometimes when a person almost dies, but then doesn’t, people say that person must have something they still have to do here. And that’s why they didn’t die?”

“You watch too many movies Love.”

“But what if…What if I died because I was supposed to? Because I was finished, and there was nothing left for me to do here.”

“So, what…you’re worried your life is meaningless now?”

She shrugged.

“Well Pet, you know I’m not much for deep thoughts about fate and destiny. That’s Angel’s style. I reckon you make your own destiny. If your life is going to have meaning it will be because you give it meaning.”

They were quiet for a few minutes while he continued to draw the stiff bristles of the brush through her long hair.

“There’s something else you haven’t realised yet Pet.”

“What’s that?”

“You have something that no other Slayer has ever had, and because of that you could live a lot longer than any who came before you.”

She snorted. “Great. So what is this magical ingredient?”

“Knowledge.”

She turned to look at him, her confusion evident.

“Do you remember what I said to you when you came to me last year wanting to know how I killed two slayers?”

She rolled her eyes. “You said every Slayer has a death wish.”

“But do you remember why?”

She thought for a moment and his words came to her from a half-forgotten memory. 'Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And a part of you is desperate to know, what it’s like. Where does it lead you?' As comprehension dawned she nodded slowly.

“You think that because I know what death is like, I won’t have a death wish?”

“Not exactly.” He frowned as he searched for the right words. “I believe that most Slayers die young because the urge to know what comes after death is too compelling. But you’ve already been there; you know what’s waiting for you. So for you it becomes a question of how long you’re willing to wait to get back there.”

“When I first came back every moment felt like an eternity.”

“And now?”

Suddenly tears were streaming down her face. “I’m so confused.”

Spike put out his arms and she crawled into his lap, grateful for his strength as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Life just seems like such a struggle. Every day there’s so much pain and fear. The thought of leaving it all behind, it’s tempting.”

“And what’s keeping you here?”

She looked at him with watery eyes, “I want to see Dawn grow up.”

He smiled, “Anything else?”

“I want to be there when Xander and Anya get married. I want to travel around the world, and eat popcorn, and swim naked in the ocean. There is so much I haven’t seen or done. If I leave now I’ll miss all of it.”

Watching her talk he saw sparks of the old fire glimmering in her eyes and in that instant he knew that she would be okay.

“So then, Heaven can wait hey Pet?”

“Yeah,” she gave a short laugh of surprise. “I guess it can. It’s hard now but, I can wait.”

The smile he gave her sent a now familiar thrum of pleasure through her. “Spike,” her voice was quiet but firm as she spoke, “I know what you’ve been doing. These last weeks.”

“Yeah?” He held his breathe, terrified she would say that she didn’t need him anymore. He hoped the fear didn’t show on his face.

“I just wanted to say thank you. It’s meant a lot to me, having someone to talk to. Someone who helped me begin to find a way to live again, instead of just expecting me to be exactly the same person I was before.”

“No worries Love. I’d do anything for you, you know that.”

“Yeah.” Buffy sighed contentedly. “I guess I do.” Looking into his eyes she took a deep breath and continued. “I know that you love me, and I know that I care about you. I can’t say I love you, at least not yet. But if you’re willing to take it one day at a time, I’d like to give it a try. Give us a try.”

Spike was so stunned that he just sat there staring at her until she started waving a hand in front of his face. “Spike? Are you in there?”

Suddenly the spell was broken and Spike gave a triumphant shout before throwing himself on top of her. He rained kisses over her face and neck while she squealed and wiggled beneath him.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said with a laugh.

“Yes!” Spike grinned at her. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” He continued to kiss her between words until finally she refused to let him up. Her lips capturing his in a passionate kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered when their mouths parted.

A gentle smile touched her lips. “I know.”

Some time later they lay wrapped in each others arms. Their limbs intertwined as they basked in the after glow of their lovemaking. Looking down at her with a mischievous glint in his eye he said, “So, this swimming naked in the ocean thing. Can I be there for that?”

Buffy laughed. “Well, if play your cards right...”

His answering chuckle was muffled by her searching lips.


- The End -