Disclaimer:


Buffy the Vampire Slayer & the Angel television series are the property of Joss Whedon (Poster boy for evilly brilliant geniuses) Mutant Enemy (with that too funny Grr Arg vamp logo) and a whole host of other wonderfully lucky entities that are not me. *Side Note: If those entities ever wanna share with me, I’ll gladly take Spike and James if possible.* This story is not intended to infringe upon the copyrights of those rightful owners it is simply me borrowing the characters for a bit to write them in situations I would have liked to see in the show. :-)

Author’s Notes:


With the resurrection of Spike (my favorite character from all things Buffy) on the Angel series I have begun watching that show and this story will contain many spoilers from season 5 of Angel (up to epsiode 5x05) as well as lots of references back to random episodes throughout the BtVS & Angel series.

It is at times intended to be a heartbreaking tale of longing, regret and lost love as well as having some seemingly tragic moments of love that cannot be, so in the beginning I warn that tissues may very well be needed to read the story, but it’s gonna have one hell of a happy Spuffy ending.

Also, there will be some smut ‘cause Spike tends to inspire such moments in fiction, BUT this is a series that will be heavy on plot and the sex is really there to just highlight the powerful emotions and connection between Buffy & Spike.

DISTRIBUTION - The nominated version of this story can be found at adultfanfiction.net and a tamer version is posted at fanfiction.net with my penname unchanged. Anyone or where that would like to archive the story, I'd be honored just let me know where and when.

Contact Me: I'm a very talkative person and I love feedback or just chatting so all are welcome to email me at missmishka@aol.com I only ask that you please include some kind of subject in emails so that I don't delete them as spam.

Story Summary:


Having truly realized her love for Spike only in the final moments of Chosen Buffy is struggling to handle her pain and responsibilities with little success until she learns something to turn her world upside down again. Somehow, someway Spike is in LA with Angel.

Without any specific details about what is going on she rushes to Los Angeles to be with her lost love only to be hit with the news of his 'ghost' status. Willow and the Fang Gang work to restore Spike using the same ritual Wolfram & Hart did to bring Darla back in the Angel series.

As a human again, with a few perks, Spike and Buffy make their plans for futures neither of them had ever dared dream of for themselves.

Other pairings implied in the series: Willow/Kennedy, Angel/Eve and Andrew/Xander

The song used in this fic is Chely Wright’s "It Was" from her CD Single White Female. If you have not heard the song, please find a way to get it, listen to it and imagine the whole Spuffy relationship. I swear you’ll be crying your eyes out in no time as you match up the lyrics with the emotional moments those two had together.

This chapter is intended to be a post-"Chosen" tearjerker. It focuses primarily on the emotional moments between Buffy & Spike in "Touched" "End of Days" and "Chosen" with minor references to moments throughout the series.

// // Contain the song’s lyrics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It Was (Prologue)

//I guess we guess our way through life//
//How many times do we really know for sure//

Spike awoke with a start on the cot and the First vanished from Buffy’s sight.

"Buffy?" he asked her with a bit of sleepy confusion and a lot of loving concern on his face, "Is something wrong?"

She almost smiled at him - a smile to show that she returned that love, but this wasn’t the time for that.

"No. Yeah. I just realized something. Something that really never occurred to me before. We're gonna win," she answered instead. For once in her life she knew something without a doubt and felt no fear or hesitation in admitting and facing that knowledge.

They were going to beat this.

//I was just hoping for the best//
//Then I woke up in those lovin' arms of yours//

There were no words to describe what he’d done for her by being there in that abandoned house.

That he truly cared that much, touched her heart and soul in ways that were still so new they scared her. The words he said to express his love to her cracked every wall she’d ever tried to erect around her heart to keep him out and as he slid in through those cracks she became stronger than she’d ever been before.

He had in her something she had lost so long ago.

Faith – belief in herself and good and the future.

Being held in his arms that night healed her. Every doubt she had faded. Her insecurities were brushed aside by his hand lovingly stroking her hair as he held her head to his chest and they were replaced with the conviction that she could do anything that this battle required of her.

To leave him the following morning had been hard to do, but he had given her the strength and conviction to be able to do this and do it on her own.

Still she wished she had done more than slip from his loving arms, jot down an impersonal little note and leave.

She should have moved a little closer to his body and held him as tightly as he had held her through the night. She should have allowed her fingers to trace his features and memorize the feel of his soft cool skin as her eyes recorded the moment forever – the peace and serenity of his expression as he slept beside her. She should have kissed him, a feather light touch of her lips to his or his forehead or his stunning cheekbone, but she knew that would wake him and she’s had to do it alone even if he would be with her in spirit making sure she succeeded.

//What I felt was unmistakable//
//When I fell for you//

Looking back, Buffy could see hundred of moments that told her she was fooling herself by labeling what she felt for Spike as anything other than what it was.

When he made love to her or simply fucked her brains out, she told herself it was just lust. An itch that needed scratched and he was the only one volunteering for the duty.

When he said he loved her, she told herself he was a demon and didn’t know a damned thing about love.

When they fought, fists and feet flying at each other, she told herself it was hatred driving them to hit harder with their blows and verbal jabs.

When they simply talked she told herself it wasn’t friendship or love or companionship it was a lack of any other options for her. He was the only one who wouldn’t be all surprised and judgmental about what she felt and said because he was an evil dead thing that had felt and said much worse in his life so he’d never dare judge her.

When he smiled at her, touched her body as if worshipping her, looked into her eyes with love and desire and want and need and such care, she told herself the reactions she had were simply from being admired. It didn’t matter that Xander had often looked at her in a similar fashion back in the beginning and never once had she reacted to his open admiration with an increase in her heartbeat as emotions began pounding through her system. Only when Spike looked at her like that did her stomach flip over, her knees go weak, her core grow moist and heart ache with the need to allow herself to look back at him with the same things in her eyes.

But always she told herself it wasn’t love on her part.

//Who thought I could laugh so hard//

He’d made her happy.

So often he’d know just what to say or how to look at her to make all her burdens lighter and get a reluctant smile or uncontrollable laugh from her.

//Then turn around and cry so many tears//

They had hurt each other so much.

To deny the depths of their emotions and the pain they were capable of causing each other with that denial they had attacked verbally with insults and truths that tore at their guts and left them both sobbing with regret and remorse.

She had cried her eyes out at how much he made her feel and the unbelievable things she loved doing with him. She had sobbed over having pushed him too far and nearly gotten raped in response then sobbed at him going on to someone else before leaving her completely.

She’d cried at knowing that she had hurt him so much and allowed herself to be hurt just as much by her actions. She’d wept her heart out at how beautiful and pure their love was when he came back to her with a soul.

Now tears leaked from her eyes every time she closed them and tried to sleep without dreaming of all they’d had and she would never have again.

//I used to have so many doubts//
//But one by one you made them disappear//

She had been broken after they all voted her out like the weakest link when she had always tried to be the strongest.

As always he had come to her.

She’d wanted to quit, been ready to really finally give up, and he reminded her that wasn’t her style.

"You were their leader, and you still are. This isn't something you gave up, it's something they took," he had looked into her eyes so passionately as he said it. "We can take it back."

She’d had enough of it. The responsibility, the pain, the guilt, the inability to feel things that others so often took for granted and abused.

"Being the slayer made me different, but it’s my fault I stayed that way. People are always trying to connect to me and I just slip away," she remembered the conversation and smiled bitterly at the way she’d chuckled then. "You should know."

"I seem to recall a certain amount of connecting," he had smirked a little as he sat next to her on that bed.

"We were never close," she had lied in an attempt to close the connection between them. "You just wanted me because I was...unattainable."

He’d jumped up and turned on her angrily, "You think that’s all it was?"

"Please, let’s not go over the past," she couldn’t handle more emotions at that moment.

"Oh, no no," typical Spike wasn’t about to let it go down like that. "Let's hold on here. I'm hummed along to your pity-ditty, and I think I should have the mic for a bit."

"Fine," she had tried for her bitchiest tone. "The stage is yours. Cheer me up."

"You’re insufferable," he’d said with such conviction the words stabbed her unprotected heart.

"Thank you," she attempted to hide the hurt caused. "That really helped."

"I’m not trying to cheer you up," his beautiful blue eyes had locked with hers.

"What are you trying to say?" she had had to know.

"I don’t know. I’ll know when I’m done saying it," she still smiled at the memory of those words and the way he’d said them. "Something pissed me off and I just – ‘unattainable.’ That’s what it was."

"Fine. I’m attainable," she had said tiredly. "I’m an attain-a-thon. May I please just go to sleep?"

"You listen to me," he had refused to give in to her defeated spirits and knelt before on as she sat on the bed. "I’ve been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls," his emotional eyes locked powerfully with hers. "A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you."

It had taken all her strength not to crumble under those words. To look away from him rather than throw herself into his arms and find solace.

"Hey, look at me," he turned her gaze back to his with a firm yet gentle hand. "I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me," she had loved him so much in that moment nothing could have stopped the tear that fell from her eyes at his words. "I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy."

"I don’t wanna be the one," she had said quietly while mentally adding, "for anyone but you."

Then he had made her laugh, like only he could with a smirking, "I don't wanna be this good looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear."

Just like that she had been restored.

His words had put the life and fire and strength back inside her.

//What I found was unbelievable//
//But I believe it's true//

In his arms she found things she had never known with another.

All that she had felt for Angel and Riley in the entirety of those relationships could never compare to what she felt in one moment in Spike’s embrace.

From his being the most unlikely source of comfort for her when her mother first became sick to the instant his fingers meshed tightly with her own as they said their final goodbye, he somehow became the only one.

//You ask what I felt//
//When you walked through the door//
//Was it fear? Was it clear?//
//It was all that and more//

It wasn’t until that night after leaving him to get the scythe that she saw him again due to his inability to follow her in the daylight.

He walked in the front door of her house and there was such relief in him when he saw her walking down the stairs with the weapon in hand.

"Well, pointy and wooden is not exactly the look I wanna know better, but it does have flair. Can see why a girl would ditch a fella for one of these," he had said when she tried to distract him with talk of the scythe.

"I'm sorry about that," she had said with quiet honesty as she turned from his soul seeing gaze.

"It doesn't matter. You're back in the bosom," he had followed her toward the kitchen. "All's forgiven. And, uh," he had moved in front of her and looked at her a little uncertainly, "last night...was just a glitch. A bit of cold comfort from the cellar dweller. Let's don't make a thing out of it."

"Great. I have work to do," she had tried to dismiss it all as he appeared to be doing.

They’d bickered a bit trying to deny their feelings and he turned to leave and this time she was the one to follow.

"You're a dope," she had had to say.

"I'm a what?" he had asked in surprise.

"You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty," she had continued.

"Have you gone completely carrot-top?"

"Do you see this?" she had asked while indicating the scythe and ignoring yet another of his weird British expressions. "This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. Look, I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals. You know, I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here, OK? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not - "

"Terrified," he had interrupted with a shaky breath as he looked away from her.

"Of what?" she wondered if they were the same fears she had at that moment.

"Last night was..." he had exhaled slowly and looked up, "God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this."

"Spike…" she had no idea what she would have said, maybe she had just needed to feel his name on her lips at that moment.

"It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you, but - " he had said with such passion and nerves and near fear.

"I just told you it did," she looked into his eyes and guesses now that she had succeeded in disguising the love she felt for him then.

He had sighed with such hope and relief before saying, "Yeah...I hear you say it, but... I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. Done things with you I can't spell, but... I've never... been close... to anyone. Least of all, you. 'Til last night. All I did was...," he looked at her and smiled so softly her heart nearly burst at the memory, "hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah... I'm... terrified."

"You don't have to be," she had said softly and hoped those words would be enough.

"Were you there with me?" he had looked at her as if he needed to believe the words but had been hurt too much allow himself to accept them.

"I was," she had met his gaze head on without reserve or hesitation with the whole truth shining in her eyes.

"What does that mean?" he had so obviously been afraid to believe in what he was seeing and hearing beyond her spoken words.

"I don’t know," she didn’t have the courage to make a full confession just then. "Does it have to mean something?" she would have told him everything if he pushed her to.

"No," part of her will always regret that he hadn’t pushed. "Not right now."

"Maybe when," she had begun not knowing where she intended to take the statement.

"No," he had stopped her wishful thinking with an upraised hand, "let's just leave it."

"Ok," she had agreed almost gratefully.

"We’ll go be heroes," he had ended the moment by saying.

And he had been that, she thought tearfully.

//It was real ... it was magic//

The first time she’d taken him inside herself.

Part of her still couldn’t believe it had happened, but she remembered every second of it.

She’d felt his erection beneath those tight jeans he wore and as if possessed she’d pushed her skirt and underwear out of the way, unzipped his pants and sank down on his hard length.

Her world had slowed as she felt him sink into her, filling a void she’d had her entire life and filling it so perfectly the moment had been magical for them both.

His expression in that moment would never fade from her memory and she’d never try to push it out.
It had been so beautiful and captured the essence of their joining.

Surprise, disbelief, love, desire, need, want, hunger, passion, trust, fear – it had all been there in that moment between them.

//It was calm ... it was savage//

They had run the gamut of emotions.

Most of the time it had been rough and cold and angry and hard. They had screwed, fucked and mated. The only thing soft about it being their flesh and they had bit and clawed that softness to mar it with cuts and bites and bruises to attest to the lack of any gentleness in what they had.

But then they had moments like their very last time together in the basement of her house on a ratty little cot with a house full of friends and practical strangers above their heads preparing for the battle to come. Those times they had lovingly explored each other’s bodies. Tracing every contour with light touches of lips and fingertips. Their words had been soft and while she never spoke of loving him she would tell him with sighs and whimpers and hesitant whispers how much those moments touched her inside and out.

That last time, a stolen moment to be together and show each other with their bodies the things they could not say aloud, had shown her the truth of the lies she’d been trying to tell herself for so long when it came to Spike.

//It was cool as a breeze//

His skin had always been so cool.

He built fires within her that only he could put out with his cool hands and lips and flesh.

//It was warm to the touch//

He’d always marveled at her heat when they made love.

His body would shudder with rapture at her every touch.

When her hot little hands or mouth or body would envelop his he would always cry out in delight at her heat.

//It was never enough//

With their advanced healing and recovery abilities they had rarely just done it once.

Each time they got together to make love or screw they would do it again and again and again and still want to do it again and again and again.

It never lasted long enough to satisfy the aches in both their spirits.

He never went deep enough to stay inside her forever.

She never held him hard enough to prove that it all meant something.

They hadn’t talked enough, touched enough, kissed enough, loved enough for him to be gone.

//It was always too much//

From the beginning it overwhelmed her.

His presence was never a tame one in her life.

He’d scared her in the beginning with his confidence and determination to kill her to add another slayer to his legacy.

After being chipped he’d annoyed, harassed, amused and intrigued her.

When he’d fallen in love with her he had terrified her because she didn’t want it to be real.

His words, his kisses, his touch, his eyes, his truths, his love, his trust, his loyalty and devotion had been more than she could handle.

The feelings, good and bad, that he stirred inside her at all times had been to raw and real and powerful for her to face until too late.

//It did all the things love does//

Anyone who knows anything about life knows that love is what makes it Heaven and Hell on earth.

It is pleasure and pain. Acceptance and rejection. Truth and denial. Hope and cynicism. Strength and weakness. Need and indifference. Control and submission.

Love and hate.

They had it all with so many highs and lows to forever haunt her memories.

//That's how I knew//
//It was//

He’s gone now.

A champion like no other having sacrificed his life for all of theirs.

And with his departure from this life and this world the timer’s gone off to announce that the cookie dough she was just days ago is done baking and ready to eat.

Only problem is the one the cookie was made for is gone.

Of all the mistakes she had made, not telling him she loved him before that very end is the worst.

She’d known before that moment.

She’d known when she tried to deny it to Angel.

She’d known when Spike made love to her even though she had Angel breath and he was stung by the memory of having seen her kiss the man he thought she loved for all eternity.

She’d known when he held her all through that night in a house she’d kind of evicted the rightful owner from.

She’d known when she realized Giles was distracted her with his ‘training’ to prevent her from being there to protect Spike from Robin. Known by the tears that streamed down her face as she ran and prayed she wouldn’t reach him too late.

She’d known when she saved him from the First – when she had had to save him from the First.

Part of her had known throughout every second they had known each other that he was the one for her.

But she had never said it in a time or place he would believe her and so he died for her without knowing that he had her heart and it had broken in ways she never would have dreamed possible as she held his hand and watched him begin to burn under the sun’s rays while he saved the world.

Now all she had were the memories.

The moments she would cherish forever of when they laughed and loved and fought side by side, so in sync they were as one in their strength.

And the regret that would haunt her forever that she had confessed to him too late what it was.

She was laying on her side hugging her pillow to her chest and trying to sleep when he came to her.

She didn’t feel the bed sink beneath his weight as he joined her there. Her first clue that she was no longer alone had been his familiar fingers tracing the bare expanse of her lightly tanned shoulder before his hand curled around her upper arm as he moved to kiss the nape of her neck with his cool lips.

“Spike,” she sighed with all the absolute rapture she felt at being with him again.

“I’m here, luv,” he assured her as his hand slid down her arm to move over her hip and upper thigh. “Didn’t really think I’d ever leave you, did you?”

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t get back to me,” her eyes grew moist and she pressed her face into the pillow she held to keep the tears from falling.

His arms came around her tightly and his lips kissed their way from the back of her neck to her waiting lips.

“Nothing,” he said between kisses, “nothing will ever keep me from getting to you again.”

“I love you so much,” she whispered against his lips. “You have to believe me this time, Spike, I love you so much.”

“I know you do, luv. I’ve always known just like you’ve always known I love you right back,” his words were so soft and gentle even as his hands began moving harder over her body.

“I need you, Spike,” her body started grinding urgently into his hands and touch. “I’m so empty without you. So incomplete,” she rolled onto her back and pulled his body between her legs and over her. “Fill me again,” she begged. “Please, Spike, make me whole again.”

“Anything,” he whispered into her ear as he joined their starving bodies together, “anything you need, luv, I will always give it to you.”

“I just need you,” she wrapped her legs around his gently thrusting hips and slid one hand into his bleached blonde hair as the other lovingly traced his cheekbones and soft lips. “I need you so much, Spike.”

As she said those words his beautiful blue eyes opened wide and went away from hers, turning to stare intently at something just beyond her that she could not see.

“No,” she sobbed as she recognized this moment all too well, “Spike don’t leave me again.”

But it was happening and her tears and pleading did nothing to stop it.

“I’ll always love you, Buffy,” he said as his body began to burn and dissolve into ash above her.

Her grasping fingers went through his image as her mind wanted so badly to stay in the dream as she screamed out his name.

Buffy sprang upright in her bed with tears streaming down her face and both her hands outstretched in their attempt to pull him back to her – to hold him a little longer.

Staring at those hands she pulled the left one in and cradled it against her heart. She still felt the heat there from having held his burning hand before he made her leave to save her life. She still remembered the way that hand had begun to crumble away in hers as she didn’t want to leave without him – didn’t ever want to let go of him again.

She had let go, though, and she’d have to live with that the rest of her life.

~*~*~

Standing outside her sister’s room in the hotel suite they were staying in while in Germany, Dawn wondered as she did every night since they’d left the ruins of Sunnydale if she should go in there and try to offer some kind of comfort.

As always, though, she just stood there and listened to Buffy sob until her voice broke over Spike’s name, which was said often and with such longing during these nightly sessions.

Two months, Dawn thought as she turned to go back to her own bedroom.

For two months they had been traveling the globe to help all the new ‘slayers’ in the world adjust to the powers they now had thanks to Willow’s spell and while Buffy was “fine” during the day, every night she cried out for Spike.

Checking the alarm clock on her bedside table she saw it was after 2 am and did a quick calculation to figure out the time in Los Angeles.

She was pretty sure it would be about 5 pm, so she picked up the telephone and dialed the long series of numbers that would connect her to Willow’s apartment in LA.

“Hello?” asked a female voice after two rings.

“Hi, Kennedy, is Willow there?”

“Sure, let me go get her,” Willow’s lover said before apparently putting the receiver down and going in search of the redhead.

“Hey, Dawnie,” the Wiccan said a moment later when she came to the phone. “What are you doing calling this late? It’s gotta be like tomorrow there.”

“That’s kinda why I’m calling,” Dawn sighed. “She’s getting worse.”

“Still with the crying all night?” Willow asked with worry in her voice.

“I can’t keep going through this night after night, Will. She talks to him. Every night, she talks to him like he’s there then she wakes up screaming and crying for him and I just can’t keep seeing her like this,” the teenager choked out with a sob.

“Dawnie, I know you hate hearing this, but maybe you shouldn’t be traveling with her. Come back to California and stay with me or Xander or even your father.”

“The last thing she needs right now is for me to leave her too,” Dawn said with a quiet sniffle. “And I need to be with her.”

“Do you want me to try talking to her?”

“I do and I don’t. Every day she acts like it doesn’t happen and I still can’t bring myself to let her know that I hear her and know what she’s doing. If you talk to her she’ll know I know and I talked to you instead of talking to her and it’ll be a whole bunch of bad feelings.”

“Has Giles noticed anything?”

“Buffy kinda broke us off from him,” Dawn confessed while biting her lower lip.

“What? What do you mean ‘broke you off from him,’” Willow asked worriedly.

“She stills doesn’t trust him after what he tried to do to Spike. It got bad them trying to work together all friendly and like it used to be so they decided it would be better for her to work here and him to work somewhere else to get this job done faster.”

“Where is he?”

“He finished up Japan and Southeast Asia then went back to his place in England,” Dawn said, “I think.”

“Wow and you guys are still in Europe?”

“We’re taking our time to connect with these girls so they aren’t all freaked out by the whole superpowers to protect humanity from the undead and demons thing,” Dawn defended.

“Oh-kay,” the woman on the other end said with a little laugh. “Let me do a quick locator on him.”

Just like that Willow was off leaving Dawn sitting there twiddling her thumbs while she worked a quick mojo to find out where Buffy’s former watcher was.

“He’s not at his apartment, he’s in Westbury,” Willow said a few minutes later as she returned to the phone.

“Isn’t that where - ”

“The coven, yeah, but I don’t think there’s much of them left after the First,” the witch interrupted. “It looks like that’s where he’s set up shop for now, though, and I think you should go to him there.”

“Why? And how am I supposed to convince Buffy?”

“Why because it sounds like you need him and as for the how tell Buffy just that. That you think you should be with Giles right now. You both should be with Giles right now.”

~*~*~

With a scalding hot shower to revive her skin and icy cold water splashed over her face to try and dull the obvious signs of her sobfest Buffy was ready to put on her mask and face the day.

She purposefully avoided her reflection in the mirror, knowing that what she saw would prove the mask a lie and not a very good one at that.

“I bring you highly caffeinated and super hot coffee,” Dawn said cheerfully as she entered the bedroom moments after Buffy returned to it from her shower.

“Thanks,” Buffy gave her sister a slight smile and took the mug she was offering. “You’re all perky,” she observed between sips of the hot liquid. “You been drinking this stuff, too?”

“No, no coffee for Dawn,” her sister smiled then grew all serious and a bit nervous. “I’m attempting to gain brownie points.”

“What are you after?” Buffy sat down on the bed and waved her sibling to do the same.

“I want us to go to England and be with Giles.

“That’s direct and unexpected,” the slayer said with a questioning look.

“This flitting around the world that we’re doing it’s been really cool and fun, but it’s old and I’m tired and I miss the almost like a family vibe we had when Giles was with us so I wanna go to England and be with him,” the teenager confessed with her head dropped forward so her long brown hair covered her face.

“Oh,” Buffy blinked repeatedly and swallowed the hurt her sister’s words caused her.

“And it’s more than that,” Dawn took a steadying breath and met her sister’s gaze head on. “I hear. I’ve heard you every night since Spike … saved the world and I can’t take it anymore. You’re hurting so much and it’s hurting me so much not being able to do anything to help you and I know how being with Giles only reminds you of how he tried to kill Spike, but he was your watcher and someone you loved and trusted and he’s the only one who can help you right now and we need to be with him.”

Gulping down the contents of her mug, Buffy rose and walked slowly to the window in her room. As she stared out over the city – she couldn’t even remember where they were this week – she struggled with the pain any mention of Spike sent through her and the guilt she felt for now knowing that she hadn’t been at all effective in hiding that pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked with her voice breaking over the words as she looked at her sister.

“The first night I knew I couldn’t even try to comfort you and then the next morning you were all fine and dandy it never happened and that’s just how it kept going every night and every day and I just didn’t know what to say,” Dawn looked at her with watery eyes. “I miss him, too, more than I thought I would and it all hurts so much, Buffy. I wanna go home and Giles is the closest thing we have to that now.”

“I’ll make the arrangements you start packing.”

They stepped off the plane with the carryon suitcases that were all they’d been traveling with these long weeks they’d been trotting around the globe.

Happy to be on ground that felt somewhat familiar Dawn looked at her sister with a relieved smile that was eventually returned.

Silently they walked side by side through the gate and Buffy ground to a stunned halt upon seeing her former watcher apparently waiting for their arrival.

“Willow called me,” Giles said simply as the girls made their way to him.

Still without saying a word Buffy nodded her acceptance of that statement as Dawn happily threw herself in the older man’s arms.

“Have you any baggage to collect?” the watcher asked over her sister’s shoulder as he hugged the girl back.

Buffy raised her carryon with the silent message that that was all they had and the man nodded before freeing himself from Dawn’s embrace.

“I’ve a car outside,” he informed them both. “Shall we go?”

Silently the trio made their way through the bustling airport and outside to make their way to his car and then wherever they would be staying.

~*~*~

“All settled in, I trust,” Giles greeted Buffy as she came down the stairs of his house for dinner.

“Dawn’s happy,” she replied coolly.

“Willow filled me in,” he informed her with a touch of indifference in response to her attitude. “Even dead he’s trying to destroy you.”

Eyes opening wide in fury, Buffy lunged at her former watcher and slammed him back against a wall with her hand on his throat.

“Do. Not. Ever. Talk. About. Him. Like that. Again,” she said through clenched teeth. “He never tried to destroy me. All he ever did was love me and try to make me the incredible woman he saw me as.”

Giles looked her straight in the eye and calmly removed her hand from his throat.

“Exactly,” he said as he gasped for breath. “So why are you acting like this with him gone. You know what it would do to him to hear what Dawn has to say about how you pass the nights. Stop doing it, move on and be strong like he would have wanted.”

“Is that what that was about? More of your damned cruel to be kind teachings?” she swallowed the pain and anger inside her and turned away from the man.

“Someone has to be there to remind you of the realities we much live with, Buffy, and unfortunately with you that duty has always fallen on me. It’s why you’re here,” he informed her quietly.

“So, um, we’re not gonna have some bland and gross English dish for dinner are we?” Dawn asked awkwardly from the stairs behind them.

“English dishes may be bland on occasion, but they certainly are not gross,” the Englishman said wryly as he removed and cleaned his glasses.

“Need I remind you that I know what’s in that ‘hot pot’ thing you tried to feed me back in Sunnydale. Anything with lamb neck and kidneys in the recipe is totally gross,” the teenager teased with a grin to ease the tension in the room.

“Lamb kidneys. That was lamb kidneys?” Buffy asked in horror at the revelation. “I ate lamb kidneys?”

~*~*~

After two days with Giles Dawn was completely back to her carefree teenaged self and Buffy had managed to keep her nightly grieving so quiet that both her sister and former watcher believed she too was improving with this change of scenery.

The slayer knew the truth of that lie, though.

She wasn’t getting better. Her dreams and nightmares weren’t going away. Her need and love and longing for Spike were growing stronger not lessening so that she could feel normal again.

And that is why on the third night of her stay with Rupert she was quietly roaming the halls of his house searching for something to distract her from her mourning.

“She’s finally showing signs of improvement, this is the last thing we need. Are you certain there is no mistake?” she heard suddenly when she arrived downstairs and passed his office on the way to the library.

Something about the low and secret way he was speaking at this late hour within that office had her stopping in her tracks outside the door as her ears focused in to try and hear more.

“He died. There was nothing left of him or Sunnydale. Nothing to bring back or have back, your sources must be wrong,” her watcher said firmly to whoever he was talking to. “With your own eyes and ears?” she heard after a moments pause. “So … Spike is in LA,” Giles said tiredly.

“Repeat that for me,” Buffy said to the man after bursting into the room without even knowing she had moved.

“I will have to call you back,” Giles muttered into the receiver he held before dropping in its cradle and rising to go to his liquor cabinet.

“Tell me that you did not just say what I think you said,” she ordered in her hardest tone.

Calmly he opened a bottle and poured some of its contents into two glasses before picking one up for himself and moving to hand the other one to her.

“I wish that I could just as much as I wish you hadn’t been eavesdropping on that particular call,” the man sat down in his chair behind the desk and took a sip of his drink. “How long were you listening.”

“Long enough to imagine I heard you say that Spike is in LA,” she met his gaze. “Is Spike really in LA?”

Giles gulped down the remainder of the amber liquid in his glass then gave her a simple, “Yes” of confirmation.

“How long?”

“Your entrance,” he glanced pointedly at the door behind her that was hanging crooked on it’s hinges, “prevented me from getting the exact details. All I know is that apparently he’s back, at Wolfram & Hart and that those two facts are being closely guarded by Angel.”

She studied him closely for any signs that he was lying, but the reluctance and weariness written all over her former watcher spoke to the truth of his statement.

“I’ll be leaving as soon as I make the arrangements,” she knocked back the drink he’d given her then rose to her feet. “I trust you’ll be able to drive me to the airport?”

He moved to close up his liquor cabinet as he gave her a nod of agreement.

“And Dawn?”

“Goes with me always,” Buffy stated as she left the office to make some calls and get packed.

~*~*~

“Dawnie, wake up.”

Not wanting to wake up from the great dream she was having Dawn muttered and smacked away the hand on her shoulder trying to shake her awake.

“Dawn, wake up. We’re leaving.”

“What?”

Those last two words ringing clear as a bell in her sleep fogged mind awakened the teenager and she stared at her sister in disbelief.

“Wake up, get packed, we’re going to LA,” Buffy said firmly.

“Now?! What time is it? And what’s in LA?” she asked groggily.

“Yes, now. Our flight leaves at 4:40 and Spike is in LA.”

“Buffy,” Dawn stilled at that and looked at her sibling worriedly. “Spike is dead. He died in Sunnydale. I know it hurts and you may not want to accept that, but we all saw it happen.”

“He’s alive,” Buffy said to her with a smile touching her lips and tears springing to her eyes. “Ask Giles. I’m not crazy or dreaming or wishful thinking here. Spike is in LA and we’re gonna go get him.”

“How much time do I have to get ready?” Dawn subdued her reservations and slid from the bed.

“Twenty minutes to get dressed and pack.”

~*~*~

“You aren’t coming with us?” Dawn was asking Giles while Buffy got their passports and papers in order for departure.

“I believe this is one reunion I’ll gladly pass on,” the Englishman said with a glance in the slayers direction.

Buffy ignored him and the silent reprimand in that look as their flight was announced.

“That’s us,” she gave the man an abrupt nod then grabbed Dawn’s arm to lead her sister to the proper gate.

“Buffy,” Giles called out before they got to far away from him.

She paused and looked back at him over her shoulder.

“You always have my number. If you need me call it and I will help you.”

“Thank you,” she replied before turning to continue on her way.

After making sure their flight took off on time and without problems, Rupert hurried to his car to get back home. Once there he went straight to his study and dialed an all too familiar phone number.

“They’re on their way,” he said the second the call was answered.

“I knew I should’ve kept my big blabber mouth shut,” Willow’s sigh of regret echoed across the phone lines.

“No, Willow, it was something we all needed to know,” he assured the girl. “Unfortunately Buffy decided to listen in at a rather revealing moment.”

“Was she … much with the mad?”

“My study door will need replaced, but in all honesty I don’t think she’s really believing what she heard. And I am in a similar situation. How could he have survived that?” Giles sighed.

“Uh … that’s something I probably should’ve said up front. He … um … didn’t survive it.”

“What on Earth does that mean?”

“It means you need to tell me when their flight should be landing so I can head them off at the airport.”

“I’m awake, mom,” Willow sat up abruptly in response to the elbow jabbing into her ribs.

“Their flight’s been diverted to Vegas because of the fires,” Kennedy informed her ‘awake’ partner.

“What?” the redhead rubbed her gritty eyes. “When?”

“It landed there two hours ago.”

“Two hours? And you’re only just telling me this now?” Willow was wide awake and on her feet.

“Sorry. I dozed too and when I woke up it took me forever to get the information from the witc–bitch manning the information desk.”

“So she probably rented a car to make it the rest of the way. This is not good.”

“I know. Isn’t Buffy supposed to be one of the world’s worst drivers? I mean does she even have a license?” Kennedy tried to relax her girlfriend with a joke.

“She is and she somehow did manage to actually get a California license, but that is so not the source of the bad. She’s coming here expecting to find Spike all … there and when she doesn’t …. we have to call Angel.”

~*~*~

“Car accidents are so not fun, do you think you could try a little harder not to get us into one?” Dawn asked as her hands gripped her seatbelt tighter and she cringed as her sister swerved past the car on the highway in front of them.

“Dawnie, do not tell me how to drive,” Buffy responded with her eyes on the road, both hands clenched on the wheel and her right foot pressed hard on the gas pedal. “I am not going to wreck.”

“Can you pull over and put that in writing for me so I have proof that you don’t know what the heck you’re talking about?”

“Tiredness and distractions are the number one causes of accidents in the United States. We were crammed on a plane for eight hours straight, forced to hang out in an loud airport for our four hour layover and then back on a plane for nearly four more no fun filled hours after which we still have not reached our destination so the tired I’ve got plenty of,” Buffy took her eyes off the road to glare at her sibling. “Do you really wanna be bickering with me right now to add that distraction to the mix?”

“Good point,” the teenager said after a moment before closing her eyes and making a big show of praying as her sister drove on.

~*~*~

“And how exactly is it that you found out to lead to Buffy finding out?” Angel raked his hands through his hair ‘causing it to stand up in even more disarray than usual.

“Really a long beside the point story. All that matters is she and Dawn are on their way and they are under the impression that Spike is here here for them to see,” Willow bit her lip and flopped down in a chair in the vampire’s office.

“Technically, luv, I am here for them to ‘see,’” Spike informed her with a wry smile.

“Yeah,” the redhead glanced at the apparition, “and that really kinda givin me the wiggins.”

“Spike, leave,” Angel ordered as he sat down heavily behind his desk.

“Sorry, mate, I’m not going anywhere. This whole conversation’s about me and I’ve got bloody good reason to stay put.”

“But you can’t be here when they get here,” Willow jumped up with panic in her eyes. “Buffy so can’t see you like this.”

Spike opened his mouth to say something, but the Wiccan held up a hand to keep him quiet.

“I know you want to see her as much as she wants to see you, but this can only make things worse. She doesn’t know you’re all ghosty and if she finds out without being told there’s no telling how she’ll react. We just need for you to make yourself scarce until we’ve braced her then, hopefully, you’ll get your chance.”

“Really, does she need to see him at all?” Angel asked sulkily.

“Yes, she does,” Willow looked at the older vampire. “She really does.”

~*~*~

“What’s the rush? Can’t we check into a nice hotel to get some sleep or at least go get some nice fatty American food to celebrate our return home?” Dawn whined as Buffy drove in circles trying to find a parking space near the Wolfram & Hart building.

“Angel will feed you and give us a place to crash,” the slayer squealed excitedly as she saw a car pulling out of a spot she could take. “Ok, we are good to go.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, sis, but skinny as I am there’s no way I can get out of this car unless you give me more than two inches to open this door,” Dawn stared pointedly at how closely her sister had pulled in to the vehicle parked in the slot on the passenger side.

“Party pooper,” Buffy pouted as she put the car in reverse and backed up then pulled back into the slot a few more times until it was parked better. “Happy?”

“Utterly joyful,” the teenager muttered as she got out of the vehicle and stretched. “I’d forgotten how bright the sun is here,” she shielded her eyes from the bright afternoon light.

“Daylight,” her sister cringed as she too exited the car. “He’ll probably be sleeping. Dammit.”

“He’ll wake up for you,” Dawn said a bit jealously as she still sometimes felt the effects of the major crush she’d had on the vampire they were here for.

“What am I going to say to him,” Buffy bit her lip and got all nervous now that they were at their destination. “Do I look ok? Oh, God, I’ve got like limp and grungy travel hair, don’t I?”

“Travel hair?”

“And makeup,” the young woman ignored the look she was getting from her little sister. “I need to put makeup on. And these clothes have got to go,” she looked at herself critically. “We must shop. Now,” Buffy opened the driver’s side door and got back in.

“No way am I getting in that deathtrap with you again. I don’t know what miracle kept me alive on the trip here, but I’m not pushing it with a second go.”

“But … I need nice clothes and new shoes to face him. I wanna look my best,” her sister was leaning across the front seats and practically begging out the passenger side window.

“The things I do for family,” Dawn groaned as she reluctantly got back in the car and fastened her seatbelt tight.

~*~*~

“They should be here by now,” Angel and Spike were both pacing the office and glaring at each other for showing such similar worry.

“You two are making me way too busy to think,” Willow closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. “They’ll be here soon, I’m sure.”

“It’s only a four hour drive here from Vegas,” Angel growled.

“Oh, dear God,” Spike stopped dead in his tracks and stared at them in horror. “Buffy wouldn’t be driving would she?”

“Will you both relax?!” Willow snapped as Angel instantly rushed to the phone and began making calls to see if there had been any accidents on the roads from Las Vegas to Los Angeles. “They’re fine. I sense that.”

“No accidents to report involving two women matching Buffy and Dawn’s description,” Angel confirmed the redhead’s suspicions as he hung up the phone.

“See,” she looked at both skeptical males, “the witch is always right.”

Spike’s scarred eyebrow shot up at that in a ‘yeah, right’ look that had the girl blushing then adding, “Ok, most of the time I’m right.”

“Why aren’t they here yet?” Angel asked as he resumed his pacing while Spike and Willow continued to argue in a friendly fashion over her accuracy rate in the past.

~*~*~

“Do you really wanna be saying ‘I’m your love slave do with me what you will’ when you see him again?” Dawn asked as Buffy modeled yet another very skimpy outfit for possible wearing to face Spike.

“This does not say that,” the blonde argued with a pout.

“It’s leather and it screams ‘take me to a room now and shag my brains out.’”

“He always liked me in leather,” Buffy admired the tight fit of the pants she wore, but agreed that maybe the bustier was a bit much.

“Not as much as he liked you out of it,” Dawn muttered with a roll of her eyes. “Like that isn’t the truth,” the teenager said when her older sister gave her a reprimanding look.

“Be that as it may, you’re too young to be talking like that.”

Dawn rose and gave her sibling a look of her own before crossing her arms over her chest and saying, “Should be out doing it like you were at my age instead of talking about it then?”

“I was not doing it when I was your age,” her sister stated when she picked her stunned jaw up off the floor. “I’ll have you know I waited until I was 17 and you’d better believe you won’t be doing anything until you’re that old or older. If I ever let you date.”

“Like you could stop me,” long brown hair was flicked back defiantly as the sisters faced off.

“I may not be able to stop you, but I bet I can scare your dates off in a heartbeat. Not many young guys will stick around when someone’s threatening their manhood with an axe and I still have plenty of axes,” shoulder length blonde hair was flipped back in a similar fashion as Dawn had done hers.

“I think you should wear a dress. Something soft and pretty for him,” the teenager folded under her big sister’s challenging stare and she switched topics back to the reason they were at the mall. “Something feminine. Save the leather for more private moments that my innocent little mind does not need to know anything about.”

“You’re right. He always preferred me wearing skirts,” Buffy sighed dreamily and her expression went all soft as she was obviously remembering some private moments that Dawn’s innocent little mind did not need to know about.

Three hours later the sisters breezed into the Wolfram & Hart lobby and strolled easily past security to the elevators with numerous shopping bags in freshly manicured hands.

“Are you sure this looks good?” Buffy asked worriedly as they waited for the elevator to arrive and she fidgeted with the tiny straps holding up the cream colored mini dress she wore.

“You look fabulous, as usual, and I am being eaten alive inside by my jealousy that you got mom’s good looks while I got her figure,” Dawn said with equal parts teasing and sincerity while frowning down at the new jeans and T-shirt she wore.

“So you think he’ll like it? And my hair?”

“Have you always been this neurotic about guys? ‘Cause if so I’m really seeing why you never dated as much as you should have.”

“I’m not being neurotic and I doubt you even know what that word means,” the elevator arrived but Buffy didn’t really notice it. “Spike’s special and I wanna show him that he’s worth all the effort of getting dolled up for. I never really bothered when we were … before.”

“You look beautiful and he’s totally going to fall in love with you all over again the second he sees you,” Dawn assured her nervous sibling with a genuine smile. “And he’s gonna love the hair.”

Unseen by the duo stepping into the lift Kennedy tossed down the magazine she’d been thumbing through in the lobby for what felt like an eternity and rushed to a phone to tip them off upstairs.

“So you’re the little bird that sang to Red,” Spike said as he messed with the things on Fred’s desk, having been banished to her office while the poof and witch had their little powwow with his slayer.

“There was no singing involved,” Winifred put her papers back in order as quickly as he disturbed them with that annoying new ability he had to actually interact with the world around him physically. “I needed to bounce some theories off someone with knowledge of the supernatural and you made it clear Wesley was off limits, so that left Willow.”

“Had you been paying attention, pet, you would have realized I was asking to keep my problems strictly between us,” he pressed a few keys on the keyboard of her computer and stood back to admire his work as she started shrieking at the data he’d lost with his playing. “Is that what that key does? Never really learned much of the tech stuff myself, bloody headache I’ll gladly leave to you mortals.”

“Go bother someone else,” Fred’s neat bun came undone when she righted her glasses and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “Lorne’s afternoon is free, I believe.”

“You’re wanting to pawn me off on the big green guy with horns that likes those around him to hum him a little ditty? I thought we were mates now.”

“You say that like you don’t like Lorne. Everyone likes Lorne.”

“Fine, I’ll leave you to it,” he began leaving the room. “By the way, pet, even I know enough about computers to hit save before messing with your work. I believe it’s a simple matter of restoring the saved version, so no skin off your back.”

His chuckles as he phased through the wall off to bother someone else Fred did as suggested and flopped down in her chair with a relieved sigh at seeing all her work still there.

~*~*~

“Tell me again why she’s here,” Buffy ordered as Harmony strolled into Angel’s office with a mug of blood for the brooding man.

“She works here and is perfectly capable of answering such questions herself,” Spike’s ex-vampire lover huffed. “Not, that I really want to talk to you. I mean … still the whole you and my blondie bear thing is just … yecch.”

“His name is Spike, he is not your anything and the only thing ‘yecch’ here is you and that outfit. Crimson only goes to show how little sun you get now, but feel free to try for a tan again to pull the look off,” the slayer glared at the other woman before glancing longingly at the lovely sharp objects gleaming invitingly on the wall behind Angel’s desk.

“Only I get to kill the hired help around here, it’s one of my few perks, so get that look off your face,” Angel told his ex firmly as he drank some of his blood. “Harmony, go type or answered phones or whatever you do between filing your nails.”

“That is just the kind of hurtful statement from you that has crippled the morale of all your employees,” his assistant turned on him with a pout. “Would it kill you to just thank me for the blood and dismiss me with a wave of the hand or a smile?”

“Thank you for the blood, Harmony, now please leave before I start admiring the sharp shiny things behind me,” the boss said with a slight glare.

“I repeat,” Buffy repeated when the other woman left, “why is Harmony here?”

“I was just as surprised to see her at first as you are, but she’s been with the firm for a bit now and she’s good at her job,” Angel finished his blood. “As long as she doesn’t feel the need to chat it works.”

“Does Spike - ” the slayer broke off and bit her lip.

“I really don’t like seeing your eyes that green over Captain Peroxide, so put any jealousies to rest. He avoids her like the plague as I wish I could avoid him.”

“Are we going to get to see him anytime soon?” Dawn asked from the sofa where she sat catching up with Willow. “It is kinda why we’re here.”

Willow looked up and exchanged a few pointed glances with Angel before getting to her feet and moving to stand in front of his desk.

“We kind of have something we need to tell you about Spike before you see him,” the redhead fidgeted a bit then looked at Buffy. “I guess beating around the bush would just make it all confusing so … I’ll just,” she looked to Angel for guidance and he shrugged as if to say he wasn’t touching the topic, “I guess I’ll just come our and say it. Spike is a ghost.”

She said the last in a rush that took the sisters a minute to figure out.

“A ghost?” they both said in surprise as they sorted the truth out of Willow’s statement.

“I keep telling you all that he’s more that just a common spectral disturbance,” Winifred Burke said as she came into the office with her arms weighed down with books and papers.

“What are … isn’t he …” Willow stammered at seeing the brunette enter.

“With Lorne,” Fred waved off the redhead’s concerns then paused, “I think.”

“You think?” Angel rose. “I thought you were keeping track of him.”

“He’s a free spirit and babysitting him is not necessary. He knows to stay clear of here until they been filled in and I think, being the one to know the most about his exact situation, that I should have some part in the filling them in.”

“I think you filled in enough people when you brought Willow in knowing I wanted this kept under wraps. Here I’d been worried about Harmony spilling the beans.”

“There were no beans spilled by me. I simply approached Willow with a few hypotheticals trying get some ideas and I can’t be blames if she put two and two together and then told others.”

“Hey, you never told me it was a secret and I only told Giles,” the witch interrupted with a touch of hurt in her tone at being blamed by the scientist for the current situation.

“Enough,” Buffy got to her feet and waved them all into silence. “You say you’re the expert on this situation you start explaining it to me,” she told Fred. “Now.”

“Ok, it all started when we settled into the offices about three weeks after the destruction of the Hellmouth. Angel opened an envelope out fell the amulet Spike used to save the world and then out of the amulet popped Spike, which was really something to see I mean he just like formed out of thin air into what looked like a solid being until you realized that half of his body was stuck in the desk the amulet had been dropped on and the other half was above the desk and then all of him tried to attack Angel and just ended up going right through him, which started the whole ‘he’s a ghost’ story. The tests I’ve run on him indicate that he isn’t a ghost by paranormal standards. He’s fully visible though lacking the ectoplasmic matrix that makes most apparitions that way, has a warm body temperature rather than the cold chill normally associated with spirits and there is also a high level of brain activity, indicating that he’s actually thinking, processing and interacting with the physical world. ‘Ghosts’ rarely realize the situation they find themselves in as they’re usually bound to this realm by their memories of life and cling only to those memories. Non-corporeal is the phrase that best captures what we’ve learned of Spike. He’s here, but he’s not touchable.”

“I’m hoping there’s a version of all that for normal people to understand because the bulk just went way over my head,” the slayer said with confusion all over her face.

“Sorry, I get a little carried away,” Fred smiled at the other woman. “The last bit is the most important one for you to understand. He’s here, but not touchable.”

“If not a ghost then you’re saying he’s like the First? Like one of the First’s mind games?” Dawn asked tearfully.

“No. No mind games. Nothing like the First,” Willow assured the girl. “Well, a bit like that with the not able to touch even though you see him thing, but it’s Spike. Really Spike all he has to do is open that mouth of his and start talking and there’s no doubting that it’s him.”

“I want to see him now,” Buffy said simply.

“Buffy, you do understand what we’re saying, don’t you? You can see him, but he won’t really be there,” the redhead placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“You just said it’s really Spike and that we can see and talk to him and I need to see and talk to Spike.”

~*~*~

“Show time for you, sunshine,” Lorne said with relief dripping from his words.

“Don’t pretend like you aren’t gonna miss me, green,” Spike smirked at having successfully annoyed yet another of his grandsire’s lackeys with only have the day gone by.

“As much as I miss my dear Pylean family,” the host muttered sincerely.

Pleased smirk still in place Spike left the demon’s office via the door and proceeded to take the long way to Angel’s office.

He wasn’t scared, he told himself firmly.

He was already the dead undead how much worse could it get seeing her again?

Only pain a thousand times worse than that he felt at the end of Sunnydale when his skin and muscles burnt away from bones crumbling to ash as his internal organs exploded inside him and his eyeballs melted in their sockets if she’s only here to thank him for doing the good deed then go back off on her merry way, he answered his own question.

“Would you just go in already?” Harm groaned from behind her desk. “Trust me she’s so eager to see you it’s nauseating so stop pacing and just get in there, get it over with and try not to do anything that makes me require even more therapy. My master vampire ex-boyfriend mooning over the slayer,” the git typed away disgustedly at her computer. “I cannot fully express the yecch factors of it all.”

“She’s really anxious?” he asked with a touch of nerves showing.

“Yes and disgustingly possessive as well. All I did was call you ‘blondie bear’ once and she was looking to cut my head off.”

“Can’t blame her for that, twit, I have the same bloody urge when I hear you say it,” he smiled then laughed at the book she threw at him going straight through his body to thud loudly to the floor.

While she began muttering about ‘ghosts’ and ‘idiot boyfriends’ as she clicked and clacked away on her keyboard he took a deep unnecessary breath and went to face his beloved Buffy.

~*~*~

Buffy knew the very second he stepped into the room behind her as she stood awaiting his arrival.

It wasn’t the telltale signs from the other’s in the room that tipped her off. It was her own body.

Even with him however Fred had described him to be, she still knew without looking or being told that he was near from the way her skin tingled and her heart did a little lurch in her chest.

Swallowing convulsively past the knot of nerves in her throat she turned to face him and her heartbeat slowed to a complete stop upon seeing him again before it picked up a rapid rhythm as she fought the urge to rush into his arms.

“Leave us,” she ordered without a hint of her extreme emotions showing in her firm tone.

“This is my office, Buffy, there’s no way - ”

“Then tell me where we can be alone,” she interrupted Angel with a glare.

Obviously feeling awkward in the tense situation Fred gathered up her materials and quickly left the room just as Eve entered to remind Angel of a meeting should have started in the main conference room five minutes ago.

“Fine you can use my office,” the vampire said begrudgingly as he stood and fixed his suit to go attend the forgotten meeting. “Don’t even think of trying anything with her in here,” he warned Spike on his way out.

“I’m Casper, remember you git?”

The two men glared at each other until Eve forcibly urged her boss along.

“I guess I should go see how Kennedy’s holding up in the lobby,” Willow said with nervous glances at Buffy and Spike. “Maybe I can convince security to let her up here now. Dawnie, wanna come with?”

Just then Buffy looked at her sister and saw that she was just as affected by seeing Spike again as the slayer was.

“Hey there, nibblit,” he said quietly with a smile at the girl he’d just noticed.

Dawn gasped at the endearment she hadn’t heard in so long and her eyes watered as she rushed forward to hug the man as Buffy was longing to do. When the rushing teenager rushed right through her target and clutched only air Willow and the slayer both gasped.

“Sorry about that, pet,” Spike watched the girl whip back around to face him with a look of horror on her face. “Wasn’t expected a hug.”

“I,” twin tears began rolling down from her eyes, “I forgot I couldn’t touch you. I didn’t think you’d look so touchable and I’d forget you’re not touchable.”

Before Willow could try comforting Dawn or the girl could flee as she clearly wanted to, Spike reached out and wiped at the tears on her face.

“Let you in on a little something, nibblit. You may not be able to touch me, but I can touch you so how’s about we try that hug again?”

“So we’re alone now,” Spike said into the growing silence after Buffy finally got her sister to leave the office and shut the doors to give them a bit of privacy. “You look beautiful, luv.”

“We went shopping,” she smiled at his compliment then tugged nervously at the hem of her dress.

“That explains the delay in your getting here and that pile of shopping bags on the floor,” he smiled and jerked his chin toward the sofa next to which she’d deposited her things earlier. “Get your hair done, too?”

“Just a trim and bit of color,” she smoothed a hand over her head. “I wanted it to look like …”

“Before,” they finished together.

Buffy smiled weakly at him then moved to sit down in the chair she’d claimed upon first entering this room an hour ago.

“This is weird,” she sighed. “I was expecting awkward at most, but weird has me all spacey.”

“Yeah, the whole ghost thing takes adjusting. For me as well,” he approached her slowly.

“I’m this close,” she held up a hand with the thumb and forefinger about an inch apart, “to acting just like Dawn and running through you.”

“That good or bad?”

“I don’t really know,” their gazes locked. “I want so badly to touch you. I’ve been thinking of nothing else since I overheard Giles saying you were here and now that I’m here with you I’m told I can’t touch you and,” she looked away and whispered, “I hate it.”

Suddenly he was kneeling before her and cupping her face in his hands - hands that her skin felt the presence of yet didn’t feel the texture of skin against hers.

“Did you mean it?” he whispered unexpectedly.

Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes grew moist with tears as she turned them to look into his again.

“With all my heart,” she said firmly as there was no doubt in her mind as to what his question meant.

“You’ve no idea how hard it was to let you go,” he ran his fingers over her hair and face. “I couldn’t let myself believe it then, but it’s all I think about now.”

“It was just as hard for me to go,” she confessed without a care for the tears beginning to fall. “I almost hated you for not believing me. I still may never forgive you for not leaving with me.”

“We both knew at that moment that it was a job that had to be done to the very end, pet. Wasn’t about to take you down with me.”

“Do you still … ?” she sniffled and looked at him closely.

“Always,” he wiped away the tears then wrapped his arms around her. “I bloody persistent bugger and nothing so minor as death could stop me loving you. Loved you as a demon, a ”

Closing her eyes she relished the feel of his embrace and her memories supplied the scents of leather and tobacco that was lacking from him at the moment. All to easily in that instant she forgot everything wasn’t normal and her hands lifted to hug him back.

Only to slip through his image as they did at the nightmarish end of so many of her dreams.

Putting a hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that was rising in her she jumped to her feet, passing right through his kneeling form, and began pacing the room in an attempt to regain control of herself.

“How could this happen?” she tipped back her head and asked toward the ceiling. “What are they doing to us?” she looked back at Spike. “Do they want me to go completely insane? I thought nothing could hurt more than loving you and not telling you I loved you until the very moment you were the least likely to believe me, but, as usual, the fates have to prove me wrong. How can you be here like this and not here like this?” she moved back toward him to touch his cheek and curse again how her hand touched nothing.

“Your guess is as good as mine why the powers get their jollies off shit like this,” he reached up with both hands to take hold of hers. “It’s not so bad, though, being all ghosty. Trust me it could be worse. And at least I can touch now. Took me weeks to learn how to do with. Before that all I did was pass through every bloody thing around me.”

“But I need to be able to touch you,” she sat down again. “Every night I dream of us. I dream of you being with me and me telling you how much I love you and we make love and then you just vanish. It’s the Hellmouth all over again with you standing there telling me to get out while the hand I hold catches fire and you start falling about and I try to hold on and my fingers just pass through you and you’re gone,” she was sobbing now. “I heard you were here and came running thinking that my dreams were coming true and we could be together and instead I find that you’re here, but we can’t be together. My hands just pass right through you and I can’t hold on and I need to hold on to you. I need it so much and I don’t think I can handle this right now.”

“Buffy,” he grabbed her shoulders and shook her firmly. “Don’t you do this. You may not be able to touch me, but I’m here and you’re here and I’m not vanishing. You love me and I bloody well love you with all I’ve got and I swear to you that we will be together.”

“How?” her anguished eyes met his.

“Fred’s been working on making me a real boy again. She even pulled it off last week, but another bloke kinda reaped the benefits,” he ignored her questioning look. “We’ll get her to work on it again then we’ll be together and nothing of Heaven or Hell or those bloody Powers That Be will break us up again.”

~*~*~

“Look we tried it once, it failed, we’re done,” Angel said firmly when he re-entered his office and was met with the gathering awaiting him there.

“No,” Winifred approached his desk and reminded him, “it succeeded at doing exactly what it was supposed to – recorporealizing a non-corporeal entity. Spike sacrificed his chance at having that happen to save my life. We can’t stop trying after that. If anything we need to try harder to thank him.”

“There really is no reason not to try again after succeeding once,” Wesley chimed in calmly. “Leaving him in limbo like this is something I wouldn’t wish on anything, even Spike, so we’ve only two options. Restore him fully or destroy the amulet.”

“No!” Fred glared at the former watcher. “You’re getting no where near that amulet if that idea is still in your head. You’ve already decided that you can’t do that, right?” she turned to ask Angel.

“What happens if it’s destroyed?” Dawn asked as she watched those standing argue.

“One way ticket to Hell for me, pet,” Spike said without turning from his contemplation of the skyline outside Angel’s office.

“What?!” Buffy jumped up from her chair and moved to stand behind her lover.

“Relax,” Angel sighed and poured himself a glass of blood. “I’ve got enough guilt attached to my soul without adding being the one to kill him to the list. Tempting though the idea is when in proximity to him,” the vampire muttered.

“I bloody heard that,” Spike whipped around to glare at his grandsire. “And that guilt sure as hell didn’t stop you from trying, did it?”

“You tried to destroy the amulet?” Buffy joined in on the glaring as did Dawn who moved to stand with her sister as human shields against anything trying to harm Spike. “Knowing what it would do?!”

“I was trying to do him a favor,” the object of their angry stares defended. “He hated being ‘nothing’ as he was at the time and destroying the amulet would have released him from the realm and given him some piece. But,” he glared back at his grandchilde, “I never had any intention of following through and you know it. The only reason I even went so far as almost doing it was your stupid plan.”

“That stupid plan worked bloody well, you’re welcome very much, and don’t even try to look me in the eye and say weren’t tempted to really whack the thing to bits when you had the chance.”

“I could have brought Hainsley down without you,” Angel countered.

“Oh, yeah, you were doing a bloody brilliant job against him. Admit it,” Spike got in the other man’s face, “my plan saved your bits from being mounted on that necromancer’s wall.”

“We got lucky and your plan succeeded. My bits were never in any danger,”

“Enough!” Willow jumped up from the couch the pair was arguing in front of. “This,” she wagged her finger at their confrontational stances, “is so not helping with anything here.”

“Might not be helping, but its pretty darn entertaining. Riveting even,” Kennedy said from the couch her lover had just left.

All eyes in the room turned on her and she fell silent with a slight shrug and muttered, “Like I was the only one enjoying it.”

“Willow is right,” Wesley said causing the redhead to smile and stand up straighter. “This bickering between you too gets us no where. If the amulet is not an option then we need to get down to serious research on just what we can do to recorporealize Spike again.”

“Before we get to that, I want that amulet,” Buffy stated.

“Buffy, I told you, I’m not going to destroy it,” Angel sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“I’ll just be making sure no ‘accidents’ happen,” she informed him coolly.

“You’ve nothing to fear in that area,” Wes informed her. “The amulet is protected from harm unless taken onto hallowed ground. Only then can it be destroyed.”

“Reassuring, but I repeat - I want that amulet.”

On the other side of the room Fred rifled through the things she had brought into the office until she found the item.

“Here,” she passed it to Buffy. “All safe and sound with you. Now … can we begin brainstorming or are there more issues you all want to air out in this very not private setting?”

Willow smiled at the scientist as she stood there with her hands on her lean little hips and Kennedy glared at the obvious interest in her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Storm away,” Angel muttered as he sat down behind his desk. “Feel free to continue using my office like I’m the one not really here,” he sulked over his glass of blood. “Not like there’s a whole world of more important things we could all be doing. By all means, let’s put all our energy into saving Captain Peroxide.”

“Were you always this whiny?” Buffy rolled her eyes at him before sitting back down in the chair she favored.

“’Course he was. It’s his thing on the occasions he stops with the brooding, soulful block of wood routine he’s been perfecting ever since he got his bleeding soul,” Spike smirked as he leant against the arm of Buffy’s chair.

“I am not whining,” Angel informed them all.

“From one whiner to another, I’ve gotta say that thing you’re doing just now is major whining,” Dawn said with a bratty smile that got her a thumbs up from Spike.

“I am not whining,” the vampire repeated firmly. “I am talking to myself so kindly stop interrupting me and go on with your ‘brainstorm’ to save bleach boy.”

“Food,” Fred suddenly blurted out. “We need food to fuel our brains.”

“Ooh, good idea,” Willow seconded. “What kinda takeout you get on this side of town?”

As the group gathered around and argued over menus from local eating establishments, Angel continued to brood and ‘not whine.’

“Sure take me literally with the whole pretend I’m the one not here. My office, my staff, my business doing all the Spike saving, but do any of them say thank you for not going ahead and just smashing the stupid necklace? Noooo. Call me whiny. I don’t whine. I brood and sometimes maybe mope, but I never whine,” he seemed to be telling the wall to his left.

“Would you shut your gob already,” Spike ordered. “You’re making yourself look like the wanker you are in front of your fans.”

“Angel, your five o’clock is waiting conference room number two,” Eve interrupted just as he was about to lunge at the smirking ghost.

“That one really knows how to crack the whip. Outta give her a second go, mate,” the bleached blonde continued to push his luck.

Buffy noticed a series of awkward glances from Angel, Eve, Fred and Wesley while Spike was definitely gloating at the reaction his last statement had.

“I so don’t even want to know,” she sighed and went back to deciding what she wanted to eat.

“Funny story actually,” the figure next to her said. “You’ve met Lorne, right? Green guy with horns? That demon knows how to throw a party, luv, and Halloween was a real kicker. See he-”

“Spike,” she smiled at his formerly annoying and now beloved smirk, “I really don’t want to know.”

“I’m not going to be a bloody robot,” Spike scoffed at one idea being suggested.

“You wouldn’t be a robot. You’d be you in a synthetic body,” Winifred explained.

“It’s actually a pretty good fallback plan,” Willow added. “If we can’t find a way to really recorporealize you then an artificial form would be ideal as all you’re missing is a surface others can touch.”

“So what did I use a politically incorrect term by saying ‘robot’ instead of android? However you try to dress it up, it’s fake and I’ll stay a ghost thank you very much.”

“I think it’s kinda cool. You’d be like robo-Spike,” Dawn said.

“Next,” he rolled his eyes at the grinning teenager and dismissed the idea cold.

There was really no real opposition to scrapping that train of thought.

~*~*~

“Tell me again why we can’t just do the thing that worked before again,” Buffy sighed as theories and possibilities were thrown around by Fred, Wesley and Willow at a rate that had her head spinning.

“No power source for a repeat,” Gunn, who had entered the session five hours ago when Angel returned from his last meeting of the day, replied. “We were lucky to get it once and we’re outta favors on that end.”

“Also dealing with nearly non-existent resources to get the thing done,” Fred sighed. “They’re most likely extinct after our using them once.”

“It’s unbelievable that you were able to pull it off once,” Willow looked up from the notes she was studying to smile at the scientist. “These formulas boggle even my mind.”

“If you kinda forget and bypass all the standard laws of physics they’re pretty simple. The extrapolation of interdimensional plasma dynamics was a bit tricky but luckily the numbers held to support my theories,” the brunette smiled back and fixed her glasses on her face.

“There’s really no way we can do this ritual again?” the redhead shared Buffy’s opinion that it appeared to be the best way to go.

“It’s vaguely possible that the materials needed can be collected again and there is tell of a volcano in South Africa that could provide for us the kind of power source need to try it again, but we exhausted most of our resources the first time around so getting everything together for a second go would likely take months,” Wesley sighed and rubbed at his gritty eyes.

“No. No months, this needs done now,” Buffy said quietly but firmly as she gazed longingly at Spike where he stood at the windows once more.

Sensing her gaze he turned and gave her a smile that she returned so weakly he crossed the room to stroke her face reassuringly.

“Hey,” Angel made his continued presence in the office known by shouting, “None of that with me here. Or ever for that matter.”

~*~*~

“Enough with all this potentially dimension altering science stuff,” Kennedy said as she placed herself rather possessively next to Willow on the floor. “What are our options on the magic front?”

“I’m drawing blanks. There’s no body to bring back to life like we did with Buffy even if it were possible to try that ritual again,” the redhead sighed. “Same with most every other form of magik I can think of. Any ritual that comes to mind requires actual remains to restore the spirit to and give it physical form again.”

“Darla,” Wesley said suddenly with a glance at Angel who sat brooding at his desk. “Of course! Wolfram & Hart restored Darla from dust. We may be able to find out what they did and try it with Spike.”

“Darla came back human until Drusilla turned her again,” the vampire looked from Spike to Buffy. “Trust me, we don’t want ‘William’ running around here and there’s no way I’ll turn him back into Spike for you.”

“If I remember correctly Darla was exactly the same as you had always known her to be aside from the fact that she was human rather than a vampire,” Wesley reminded.

“A dying human,” Angel countered.

“Chances are she was only that way because of her lifestyle as a human before being turned. From what you told us the Master found her dying and offered her immortality. Spike,” the former watcher glanced at the rather interested ‘ghost,’ “you were in good health at the time of your turning were you not?”

“Fit as a fiddle.”

“The scroll of Aberjian should still be somewhere among our files and possessions. It would just be a matter of accessing corporate records to find details of the actual ceremony that was used to bring her back. I’ve no doubt they have it all well documented and we should be able to perform the ritual again for Spike.”

“Why is this only just coming up?” Buffy rose and looked from her ex to the Englishman. “You can bring him back - make him human - and you’re only just bothering to tell us after all the weeks Fred’s been working her ass off trying to find some way to restore him and we’ve been closed in here for eight hours now when there’s been an answer all along? Something even better than just making him touchable again?!”

“Whoa, there pet, don’t get ahead of yourself,” Spike placed a hand on her shoulder.

“For one thing, Buffy, Fred kept her work on this matter very closely guarded so I was unable to inform her of what had happened with Darla’s resurrection. For another it simply wasn’t something that came to me until just now,” Wes defended himself.

“Find what you need and find it now,” the slayer ordered firmly.

“We really shouldn’t put all our eggs in that basket,” Spike said with a bit of apprehension in his tone.

“It’s a good basket,” she turned and smiled at him. “It’s something that worked before and they can find a way to do again,” her smile got wider. “And you’d be human. We’d be humans together.”

“Yippee,” Angel said sarcastically in the background.

“I do believe that sounds like our plan,” Willow rose from the floor with a smile. “Why don’t we get to work on it tomorrow?”

“We’re already here, why not start now?” Buffy countered. “Just tell us where to look for the scroll thingy and we can work on that while you see what you can find about the ritual,” she said to Wesley.

“It’s late and we have work in the morning and now that we know what our objectives are we can wait until tomorrow to begin achieving them,” he replied while rising and gathering his things to leave.

Kennedy readily jumped up to get her and her girlfriend out of there while Winifred slowly began gathering up all her papers.

“I’ll could stay and look,” the scientist said helpfully.

“No more nights in the lab for you,” Wesley pulled the woman up and began ushering her from the office. “We’re all going to get a good night’s sleep and start on this tomorrow. No exceptions.”

“I kind of forgot to ask you sooner, but,” the slayer sighed then turned to look at Angel as they all left, “you got a place for Dawn and I to crash?”

He gave her a rather disbelieving look to which she responded by crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head to the side with an ‘oh, come on’ expression on her face.

“Fine, get your things and follow me,” the vampire got to his feet.

The Summers sisters hurriedly gathered up their shopping bags and carryon suitcases then followed him out of the office to the elevator.

“I really don’t recall inviting you to tag along,” he glared at Spike as the bleached blonde followed the trio into the lift.

“You’re how old again?” Buffy asked as she stayed close to her love’s side.

“All things considered, I’d say I’m handling this pretty maturely,” he countered. “So I complain about it, but I let bleach boy stay and am giving you, the love of my unlife, access to all of this firm’s resources to try getting your boy toy back. You think any of this is fun for me?”

~*~*~

Dressed for bed in the cotton camisole and boxer shorts she’d worn as pajamas these past two months, Buffy stepped from the bathroom into the private room Angel had reluctantly given her.

Spike stood staring out the window at the clear night sky and after a moment’s hesitation she moved to stand beside him.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Brooding a bit like the poof,” he turned to give her a smile. “Contemplating my sins, how I came to be here and all that rot.”

“I guess I should have asked you sooner how you feel about this,” she wrapped her arms around her waist and stared out the window.

“Not too shabby,” he deliberately misunderstood her words and gave the room they were in a look over. “Bed looks nice and comfy and the not sharing with the nibblit is a plus.”

“No, I meant - ”

“I know what you meant, Buffy,” he reached out to stroke her hair. “Don’t rightly know how I feel about it. Wasn’t much to write home about as a human,” he sighed and slouched a bit in his leather duster. “Bit of Nancy boy, I hate to say. I’ve gotten rather used to having the vampire strength to strike fear in the hearts of all who crossed my path.”

“You don’t want it do you?” she sniffled back a tear. “We could be together and normal and get married and have babies,” she looked at him with her eyes suspiciously moist, “but you don’t want it.”

“I’d love to be able to create life with you, pet,” he cupped her face in his hands, “don’t ever doubt that. It’s just,” he dropped his hands and paced away from her. “I don’t ever want to be that bloody weak again. I may have been a demon, but as a vampire I was always something. As a human I was nothing. A nobody,” his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “I need to be somebody.”

“And you are. You’ll always be somebody. No matter what,” she approached his back and clenched her fists at her inability to reach out and comfort him, “you’ll never be a nobody again. You,” she moved to stand in front of him and look into his eyes, “are Spike now. The vampire who loved me despite my utter bitchiness and by doing that showed me what love really is. You’re a champion and hero who saved the world at the cost of your own life. You’re the man I love in every sense of the word and now that I’ve admitted that to myself nothing will change it. If you don’t want to go this route we’ll have Fred explain more of her ideas to us tomorrow and find a way to recorporealize you. It will be your choice and whatever decision you make I’ll stand by you as you always stood by me and I’ll still love you.”

~*~*~

Angel let himself into the darkened storage room and moved toward the stack of boxes at the back.

Knowing almost exactly where to look he put aside the top box then rifled through the one underneath it searching for the scroll he’d hadn’t even thought of for over two years. Having no luck with that box he put it aside and delved into the next one down.

The torn and ragged edge of parchment caught his eye instantly and when he directed the beam of his flashlight at the paper he saw that it was what he was looking for.

He put the flashlight down and used the hand that had been holding it to fish the lighter out of his pocket as his other hand pulled the scroll of Aberjian from the box. After opening the lighter he stared into the flickering flame for a moment before turning his attention to the irreplaceable item in his other hand.

With a heavy sigh he closed his eyes and began moving his hands toward one another for the things he held to meet.

Emotionally drained from her day Buffy moved to the bed to turn down the covers and prepare to climb in.

“Are you … ” she paused in her actions and turned to face him with a questioning look.

“Whatever you want,” he correctly interpreted her look.

Looking him in the eye she pushed off her shorts then pulled off her camisole before sliding into the bed and holding the covers up inviting him to join her there.

He hesitated a bit at her having stripped down before laying down then he seemed to take a bracing breath before closing his eyes and wishing his own clothing away.

“How’d you do that?” she asked with her eyes wide at the quick removal of all he wore before he slid into bed next to her.

“It’s a ghost thing,” he smirked as he moved to lay next to her. “Little trick I learned to get around reality.”

“Any chance you can use it to get around this reality?” she smiled sadly and allowed the fingers of one hand to trail through the image of his chest.

“I have a few ideas if you’re really interested,” he gave her a crooked grin and playful leer.

“Really?” her eyes went wide.

“You’ve got to remember not to try and touch me, though,” he grew serious. “It won’t work if you get all upset over that.”

“Where are those handcuffs of yours when we need them?” she joked.

“I’m sure we could rustle up some shackles if you don’t think you can control yourself,” his smirk returned.

“Still sure you’re that good?”

“Well, luv, it’s a talent one doesn’t lose just being dead.”

“Prove it,” she whispered with a flare of desire in her eyes.

“Put your hands behind your head and keep them there,” he ordered while urging her onto her back and leaning over her body.

Looking into his familiar features with total trust she obeyed and folded her arms beneath her head to hopefully keep her urges to reach for him subdued.

“If this gets too much for you, tell me and I’ll stop,” he whispered into her ear with a tender stroke of his hand over her cheek.

At her nod he pressed his mouth against her ear then moved it along her jaw as his hands slid softly over her neck and shoulders.

The touches were like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

She felt them, feather light and sending tingles of sensation through the nerve endings beneath the surface of the skin her touched, but on a deeper level she didn’t feel them. She knew his lips were making their ways toward hers for a kiss, but they didn’t feel like his lips – the softness and texture was lacking leaving her with only the realization that something was brushing across her face.

A sound that was part moan at being touched by him, part whimper of need for more substantial touches emanated from her throat and she looked into his eyes to try expressing her needs without words.

“Let’s try it this way,” he kissed her eyelids shut. “Tell me what you dream about us before you wake up. Keep them closed, luv,” he ordered when she made to open her eyes as she spoke.

“It varies,” she whispered.

“Tell me the last dream.”

“I’m laying on my side and you come into the bed behind me,” she remembers clearly. “You stroke my shoulder then kiss my neck and I sigh your name.”

As she speaks he does what she described, his hands gliding lovingly over her shoulderblades and his mouth nipping at the skin of her neck until she sighs his name.

“What did you feel?” he asked against the pulse pounding in her throat.

“You,” she sighed. “I felt your skin and your hands and lips and your body behind mine and your erection against me.”

“Remember that,” he said as his hands and lips again began exploring her body at will. “Did I touch you here?”

“Yes,” she moaned at his phantom fingers plucking at her hardened nipples as her memory supplied the feelings her body craved.

Behind her closed eyelids she replayed moments when he had touched her like this in the basement of her house in Sunnydale or his crypt. She remembered him touching her breasts gently, like he was now, and firmly with the intention of pushing her hard toward orgasm as he had many times in the past.

“That’s it,” he said with satisfaction as he saw her forgetting the present and sinking into more pleasant memories of the past.

She felt a different kind of pull on her right breast and realized he’d drawn the mound into his mouth and was sucking on the flesh. In her mind she clearly remembered the warm wet heat of his mouth and the strength of his suckling and her core clenched in response. Suddenly there was a firmer, sharper pressure against her skin and she knew he was biting at her nipples. Her memories turned to images of his pearly white teeth nipping at and sinking into the soft flesh of her breasts as they had in the past.

“Spike,” her fingers gripped the forearm they were folded against under her head as her body wanted more.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he moved to her other breast.

“I remember this,” she said after a moment. “Remember watching and feeling you do this.”

“Do what?”

“Touch and kiss my breasts,” a shiver ran through her body. “Your teeth biting them and your fingers squeezing and your mouth sucking.”

“Remember this?”

“Yes,” her body lurched upward as his hands moved down her sides to her thighs while his mouth traced a slow path down her sternum and stomach.

“Tell me what you remember,” his tongue delved into her bellybutton.

“Your tongue … licking, making me wet,” she gasped. “Fingers,” it was getting hard to concentrate on forming the words, “gripping my thighs, parting them. Nails scraping skin to make me cry out for more. Your eyes watching me. That smirk,” she smiled at the memory.

His hands shifted to the inside of her thighs and urged them apart for his body to settle between.

“What do you feel right now?”

“You,” she whimpered and her fingernails bit into the skin of her arms as she waited for what she knew would be coming.

“Tell me.”

“Hands running up and down the insides of my legs,” she parted them further. “Fingers coming so close but not touching me - ”

“I’m touching you, pet,” he interrupted.

“Not where I need,” she argued with a buck of her hips.

“Where you need them, luv?”

“Inside me,” she whimpered.

“Here?”

She knew somehow that it was his tongue sliding along her slit to part her wet lips before lightly tracing her opening. In her mind she saw Spike doing that, remembered watching his bleached blonde head move between her legs as his lips suckled, his teeth nipped and his tongue lapped up her juices – for hours on end he’d done it one time that still blew her mind to think of.

“Need an answer, luv,” he teased with a smirk evident in his tone before his mouth moved to lavish attention on her clit.

“Yes,” she cried out, having pretty much forgotten the question but knowing whatever it was she was all for it.

After what felt like an eternity she felt him inside her again and that fact had tears welling up behind her closed eyelids. It didn’t matter that it was just his fingers and phantom ones at that, her heart knew that her Spike was lying between her widespread legs sucking on her clit with occasional nips of his teeth to make her body arch and shake in reaction as first one, then two and finally three of his fingers were plunging into her core.

“Spike,” it was practically a sob as his fingers curled inside her so that they found the spot only he had ever managed to locate and raked over it until she was shaking uncontrollably and clenching around his not really there digits.

Her thighs were growing slick as her juices flowed forward with nowhere else to go and her bangs were sticking to her forehead as a sheen of sweat dotted the skin there, but still her arching body needed more.

Without even realizing it she was saying that word over and over again, “More,” and Spike tried to satisfy her. Three fingers became four pushing harder and faster and deeper into her writhing body and his gentle suckling at her clit grew hard and almost angry with teeth being used constantly. His other hand was moving roughly over her breasts, squeezing and pinching and pulling at her nipples until finally memories of how all those actions really felt overwhelmed her and with a sharp cry that was his name she found the release her body had denied itself during two whole months of empty longing dreams.

“Shhh, it’s alright. Relax,” he slowly moved up her body and took her into his arms. “I’ve got you, luv. Breathe in for me, Buffy.”

Instinctively she obeyed his words and as she did she realized that her lungs had ceased working at some point during her orgasm and while she gulped in air she now desperately needed her tensed muscles started relaxing so that her body wasn’t arched and clenched as tautly as a bowstring.

He continued to sooth her body with words and gentle touches until her breathing returned to normal and she laid limply on the bed next to him.

“You’re even better,” she joked breathlessly as she lowered her arms and saw the scratches on them from her own fingers with a bit of surprise.

“What were you thinking of at the end?” he rested on his side next to her and brushed the damp tendrils of hair back from her face.

Buffy searched for a way to describe it, looked at him and replied, “Everything and nothing. Is that possible?”

“Course it is,” he smiled and kissed her brow. “Think you can sleep now?”

“If you’ll hold me again,” she raised a hand to stroke his cheek then dropped it with a sad sigh.

“It won’t be this way for long,” he assured her. “We’re gonna have the geeks around here find that bloody ritual and make me a real boy again.”

“Really?” her eyes went wide with hope that he meant what she thought he meant. “You wanna go ahead with that even though you’ll be human?”

“Something tells me I’m gonna enjoy being human with you,” he smiled. “You’ll just have to remember I won’t have that infamous vampire stamina going for me.”

“I think we’ll manage ok without it,” she smiled as joy blossomed in her heart. “Even with my slayer stamina thirteen times in one night was a bit much.”

“Our record was fifteen times in one night and you bloody well know it,” he looked affronted at being shortchanged those two times.

“Oh, yes, fifteen, you stud you,” she teased and got herself a smack on the bottom that had her giggling. “I’ve missed this more than I can ever say,” she grew serious in the midst of their playfulness.

“Me, too, luv,” he rolled her onto her side, wrapped his arms around her waist and spooned up against her back. “Was so afraid I’d never have it again.”

“I was so sure I’d lost you,” she closed her eyes and laid imaging that he really held her like this and she could feel his skin pressed against hers. “Sometimes I didn’t know if I’d be able to go on thinking we’d never have this again.”

“Don’t talk like that, luv, you’re a survivor. You’d live a long happy life with or without me,” he kissed her shoulder.

“I know that. I would have gone on for Dawn and the slayer destiny and because it’s what you told me to do so often - live,” a tear rolled down her cheek. “It’s just so much better to do all that with you with me.”

He didn’t say anything to that, just seemed to hold her a little tighter and press a few more kisses against her shoulder until she let go of the emotions swirling through her and just went to sleep.

She’d been awake for an hour now without letting on, but as he’d been watching her closely all night Spike new she was no longer sleeping.

“Wanna tell me what you’re thinking about, luv,” he finally said with a hand moving to pull the hair back from her face.

“That if I open my eyes this will all go away,” she whispered. “And,” she opened her eyes and rolled on to her back, “that I need to talk to Angel.”

“What you need to see him for?” he made no effort to hide the jealousy in his tone.

“I was remembering what he said in the elevator,” she looked into his eyes to show him he had nothing to be jealous of, “and I think I owe him an explanation.”

“Don’t owe him a bloody thing,” he muttered.

“Yes, I do. He’s right about us not fully appreciating how hard this must be for him. The last time I really talked to him I led him to believe that there might be a future for what we had had,” she twisted her hands in the covers and stared at them. “I’m really not proud of having done that, but I did and it can’t be easy for him seeing me all gung ho to get you back after I told him it wasn’t like that. Again,” she said at seeing how hurt he looked at what she’d revealed, “not proud of having said any of that, but the fact remains that I did say it. And now I have to go set things straight. He’s bringing you back to life. To me. I really do owe him that much.”

“Fine, we’ll go have a heart to heart with the wanker,” he made to get out of the bed they’d shared.

“No,” she stopped him by saying firmly. “This is a me thing, not a we.”

He turned to see her slipping from the bed and going over to the bags she hadn’t bothered to unpack the night before.

“I’m just supposed to let you run off to him?”

“Yes,” she began dressing in the casual jeans and blouse outfit she’d selected. “And you’re going to stay right here and behave yourself because you know and trust that I love you. What I felt for Angel was over and gone a long time ago. I was just too stubborn to admit that before. I have admitted it now and the reason I need to see him alone is to finally get some closure on it all.”

After staring deep into her eyes for a moment he saw the truth of her words and let go of his jealousy with a relieved sigh.

“Love you, too,” he gave her a lopsided grin and silently let her know it was ok now.

~*~*~

Taking a deep calming breath, Buffy raised her hand and knocked on the closed doors of the office where she assumed Angel to be after not finding him in his apartment at the top of this building.

Upon receiving no response she knocked again then turned the doorknob and entered the room.

“Angel?” she looked around and saw him sitting at his desk brooding at something lying on the surface in front of him. “I … I knocked,” she said as she stepped hesitantly into the room.

“I heard you,” he raised a hand that held a tumbler full of blood and took a gulp of the liquid.

“Are you busy?”

“Just working on my block of wood mystique, as your lover,” he spat the word out bitterly, “would say.”

Not really expecting this kind of antagonism she stood uncertainly just inside the office and stared at him.

“Where is Casper this morning?”

“He’s still in bed,” she replied honestly then only realized when he winced how her words sounded.

“What’s it to be,” he finished his drink and sighed, “the ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘he’s not like you think he is and I love him’ or some other little speech?”

“Well,” she scoffed in disbelief at his attitude, “I had been thinking along the lines of ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner that I loved him and that I gave you false hopes about a possible future between us the last time we talked, but I do love him and I thank you for putting all that aside to help us’ speech, but if you wanna be like this I think I’ll save my breath.”

“Sorry,” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “had a bad night. Your little ceremony will open the gates to hell, do you know that? Is he worth that?”

“What are you talking about?” she approached his desk with a frown.

‘It’s all here,” he picked up a file from his desk. “Not sure we’ll be able to get the invite to Voca, though, seeing as I killed the thing.”

“You found it,” she gasped, ignoring his words in favor or reaching out to take the file from him.

Eagerly she sat down in the chair in front of his desk and began reading the documents in the folder. She cringed and gasped at many of the details enclosed, like the raising of the Voca demon – ‘he of pure darkness’ as the file proclaimed – monks preparing a holy place in the darkness and annointing it with oil while taking the blood of the living and gathering together the living dead. Upon reading how Voca had said how the very gate of hell shall open and the world above will tremble for that which is below shall arise, she began feeling a bit apprehensive at this plan.

“We can change this right? Ignore the things like calling forth that Voca guy and have Willow do the ceremony to get rid of all this evil stuff they’re talking about?” she looked up from the papers. “Right?”

“You’re setting out to do something that is against all laws of God, man and nature – bring back the dead – there is now way to get rid of the ‘evil stuff they’re talking about,” he stated.

“No,” she closed the file and stood facing her ex. “That is not what I’m – what we’re doing. Something – God, man, nature or those Powers That Be – wanted Spike back without me even thinking for a second of trying a stunt like this. We’re just finishing what they started.”

“Keep telling yourself that if it’ll let you sleep easier at night.”

“What the hell is your problem? Willow did this with me, went against all known laws to bring me back to life, and no one heard you complaining about that.”

“You were different. You’re a slayer and protector and the world needed, still needs, you - ”

“It needed and still needs Spike, too,” she interrupted softly. “He’s helped save it three times, two of those times he did it without a soul and one of those times he was saving it from you. He wasn’t born into it like me or really forced into it like you, he chose to be a champion and protector and the world needs all of those it can get.”

“And that’s your only reason for pushing this?” he scoffed in an effort to appear unaffected by her passionate words.

“You’re not going to make me feel like I’m doing something wrong in wanting him back for selfish reasons. I love him and I’m ashamed that I had to lose him like that to admit it, but I am admitting it. He’s more than in my heart. He has been for a long time. He’s in my head and my body and my soul and every fiber of my being, but,” she looked him straight in the eye, “I was willing to let him go. I was grieving, yes, every night I grieved and I would have continued to do so until someday it got easier to wake up in a world he died to preserve. Living with the guilt that even though I loved him I hurt him nearly every chance I got. That I had so often degraded what we had and when I finally admitted to loving him he rather nicely laughed in my face. It would have taken me a long time, but I have Dawn and my friends and I would have made without him. I don’t have to, though. He is not gone from this world and knowing that, nothing is going to stop me from having him back in my life.”

“Why weren’t you able to admit it sooner?”

“Because of you. Well, I guess more because of Angelus, but kind of the same difference,” she sat down again. “I fell in love with you, with all the warm fuzzies a gal gets with her first love, and then I made love to you and met Angelus. He showed how twisted and evil soulless vampires can be and why my life’s mission was to kill such things. Then it started happening with Spike. The warm fuzzies I tried to call anything but love because he was a soulless vampire - God, he was Angelus’s prodigy – and I just couldn’t believe that would happen to me twice. Because of you and Angelus I refused to let myself see that with or without a soul Spike was nothing like either one of you.”

“I think I’d rather hear your ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner that I loved him and that I gave you false hopes about a possible future between us the last time we talked, but I do love him and I thank you for putting all that aside to help us’ speech now,” Angel interrupted when she paused to organize her thoughts before continuing.

“Sorry. You kinda blew your chances at getting that one and I need to get this said. We have to actually face all this so we can both move on,” she looked him in the eyes again. “Don’t get me wrong. I loved you and part of me always will and I’ll always cherish what we had before Angelus, but it’s time we acknowledge that that ended when you lost your soul. With both mourn losing it, but it is gone and nothing will bring it back. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know what we have now is a friendship that we’re both pretty happy with when we don’t get to thinking too much about what we’d had.”

“I thought with all my years of experience I was supposed to be the wise one about what we were and needed,” he smiled sadly.

“You are, but you kinda dwell a bit on the past and take your time admitting a few truths,” she smiled back weakly.

“So you and Spike.”

“Hey, you wanted me to move on and find a nice human partner and after we’re done with this scroll thingy he’ll be just that,” she reminded him. “Speaking of the scroll thingy, we should be looking for it now.”

As she got to her feet Angel picked something else up off his and extended it toward her.

“You already had it?” she asked then frowned upon seeing that a corner of the parchment was scorched.

“The lighter I used for light to find it slipped,” he tried to lie when she glared from the burnt edge to him then back again.

“Really? It just slipped?” she rolled the paper up then crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him.

“Ok, I thought about burning it, I did, but I didn’t do it. I couldn’t do it,” he defended before muttering, “stupid soul wouldn’t let me.”

“What did he ever do to you that was so bad you’d begrudge him this?” she asked with genuine curiosity.

“What didn’t he do?” the vampire scoffed then sighed. “You’re wanting actual honesty here aren’t you?”

“Yep,” she nodded firmly.

“It’s not very pretty.”

“I know he wasn’t always good, Angel. I know he did really bad things like Angelus, but that isn’t who he’s been for a long time now and I can handle whatever you have to say.”

“That’s not the ugly of it. I’m jealous of him,” he said quickly and quietly in hopes she wouldn’t hear.

“Jealous? I thought we’d just settled the me thing. You’ve got no right to be jealous of what I have with him,” she sighed.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don’t really enter into it. I was Angelus. A big nasty vampire feared throughout the world with Darla on one arm and Dru on another as we cut a bloody path through all humanity in our way. Then it stopped being enough for Dru. She had to have a toy and she picked this sniveling little Englishman named William of all the men she could have chosen. Of course, I had to take him into my family and crew after she made her choice, teach him the way and be a good grandsire. Then he outshines me. He develops a reputation as impressive as mine in far less time. Takes out two slayers when Angelus never even tried for one. He becomes a frickin’ golden boy of vampire, catching all the breaks while I feed on one wrong girl and gets cursed with a soul. Then he has to go and out do me there. He goes and gets himself a soul and shows me up as a champion.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” her jaw dropped.

“Told you it wasn’t pretty,” he couldn’t bring himself to meet her disbelieving gaze.

“I was expecting something a little more legitimate for such hatred than your vanity.”

“Do you have any idea how long it took me to build up my reputations as Angelus and now Angel? It’s just not fair that he gets the same kind of glory with and without a soul without even trying. I’m cursed to relive and remember every horrible act I’ve committed in my life without ever being allowed to know happiness again or else lose all I’ve worked so hard for and he doesn’t have to deal with any of that. And now,” Angel got to his feet and moved to stare out at the sun breaking over the horizon, “now he gets to be human again without having to fulfill some hopeless prophecy that may make such a dream reality for me. He gets it all so easily and it’s always thanks to me. You may consider it childish or stupid, but believe me,” he turned and looked into her eyes so she could see his bitterness, “all that is grounds for what I feel toward him.”

“So this is it?” Spike cocked his head to the side and glanced at the scroll Fred and Willow were reading over.

“That’s it,” Buffy smiled at him from where she and Dawn sat on the sofa in Angel’s office, which they had all once again commandeered.

“I can’t believe it’s this simple,” Winifred pouted just a bit. “Just spout some phrases, offer up a sacrifice and voila he’s back. There’s got to be a catch.”

“Not seeing one anywhere,” Willow said as she turned from the scroll and snatched some the details of the ritual from Wesley to once again scan the documents for ick factors. “Looks pretty clear cut for a foray into the dark magiks.”

“Guess I was just overthinking it all with my extrapolations on interdimensional plasma dynamics,” the scientist sighed.

“No,” the Wiccan assured the other woman. “Not overthinking, just thinking with science. I used to do the same thing before I started to see that magik was … well, easier. See magic was around long before science and it pretty much has a solution for everything and it’s just a matter of finding the right history to find the spell or ritual or whatever is needed to get those ancient magiks working for us so we can bypass all the complicated science stuff.”

“Yes,” Wesley cleared his throat and calmly retrieved the papers from the redhead. “That is sometimes the case.”

Sighing at her empty handed status Willow rose to her feet and looked around to where Angel set.

“How long till we’re good to go on this?” she asked the brooding vampire who was rather deliberately studying files on cases the firm was supposed to be working on.

“Well, first we need to locate this crypt and get those monks who performed so much of the previous ceremony. After that it’s a simple matter of you saying all the right words to complete the ritual,” Fred replied when there was no answer from the man behind his desk. “Are you sure you want to perform it though? By all these accounts it packs quite a wallop.”

“I’m kinda used to wallops by now,” the Wiccan blushed a bit at the woman’s friendly concern.

“They’re on the payroll,” Angel informed them reluctantly. “They’ll be meeting us here as soon as night falls to take us to the crypt and perform the ceremony.”

Buffy and Wesley both looked at him with surprise evident on both they’re faces for varying reasons.

“You’ve certainly started the ball rolling on this,” the former watcher observed cautiously.

After a moment the slayer caught Angel’s eye and mouthed a sincere ‘thank you’ to him causing him to smile a bit and salute her with the mug of blood Harmony had brought him a few minutes ago.

“We should perhaps look a little further into this matter before performing the ceremony,” Wesley sighed. “After all that’s happened I can’t help but be weary at Voca’s mention of ‘the beast.’ Darla’s resurrection is what ultimately led to his appearance here.”

“But that whole situation can’t be replicated,” Fred argued. “It all happened because of a whole once in a lifetime chain of events resulting from Darla going back to being a vampire. You are wanting to stay human, right?” she asked Spike.

He and Buffy exchanged a look as he answered softly, “Yeah. I’ll want to stay human.”

“These monks, will they be doing all the work like it appears they did before?” Willow asked anyone who could answer.

“The holy place in darkness, annointing it with oil, blood of the living and living dead?” Angel asked wryly. “Yeah, they’re on that.”

“So there’s really nothing for us to do until tonight,” Buffy said with a bit of surprise at the realization.

“I should probably study the words I need to be saying so I get it right,” Willow again took some papers from Wesley.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” he smoothly reclaimed the papers. “We can practice in my office, though, as I’ve got the morning free.”

“I guess I better get to the lab since I’m not really needed,” Fred got to her feet.

They gathered their things and went off to their destinations, leaving the Summers sisters, Spike and Angel in an increasingly awkward silence.

“Seen any good movies lately?” Dawn asked in an attempt to break the ice.

~*~*~

“We should have like a present or something,” Dawn said as she and Buffy stepped from the elevator onto the proper floor of the apartment complex.

“I guess we could do our shopping first then come back to see him,” her sister paused thoughtfully.

“Be kinda silly since we’re already here,” the teenager sighed.

The slayer nodded in agreement and continued down the hallway to the apartment number Willow had given them.

She raised her hand and knocked on the door then waited patiently as her younger sibling was practically bouncing off the walls for him to answer.

“Maybe we should have called first,” Dawn tried to peer into the apartment through the tiny peephole in the door.

“She said it’s his day off. He’s probably - ”

“Andrew?!” both sisters stepped back in surprise when the door was suddenly opened by the familiar blonde.

“Oh my God,” he exclaimed before rushing forward to embrace them both. “Xander you’re never gonna believe who’s here!”

“What have I told you about answering the door?” asked a male voice from somewhere beyond the ecstatic young man holding them up in the doorway.

“I know, I know, don’t answer the door or the phone or anything that leads anyone to believe I live here, too,” Andrew pulled away from the girls with a roll of his eyes before grabbing their hands and pulling them inside the apartment.

“Are you living here too?” Dawn asked.

“Dawn?” Xander poked his head out of a room off to the right and looked at them in surprise. “Buffster?”

“Aren’t you glad I answered it this time?” Andrew glared at the other man.

“Don’t push your luck,” the brunette ordered as he came forward to hug first the slayer then Dawn. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We’re in town and you’re in town so we had to see the Xan-man,” Dawn smiled and lingered in his arms for a moment.

“Why aren’t you in jail?” Buffy was staring at the other blonde in the room.

“I was found not guilty due to being under the control the First,” he replied with a smile. “Angel’s firm represented me. They’re really good with the law stuff.”

“Yeah,” Xander pulled free of the arms around his neck. “They’re working on an appeal for Faith that should spring her legitimately in a month or so.”

“She went back?” the slayer was surprised to hear that news.

“Wood kinda convinced her to do the right thing instead of live out life on the lam and that Gunn guy found some errors in her first trial and convinced her that she won’t be there anywhere near what she was sentenced,” the brunette explained.

“Things change so quickly,” Buffy shook her head slowly at all that. “How you doing?”

“Good, good,” her friend assured her while waving a hand toward the couch. “I’ve gotten a lot of my depth perception back and can do some work without screwing things up. Don’t even hit my thumbs instead of the nails anymore,” he joked a bit then ran his fingers a bit self-consciously over the eyepatch covering his left eye.

“That’s great,” Dawn said enthusiastically as her sister smiled a bit sadly and reached out to squeeze the man’s shoulder as she remembered how he lost the eye. “So you’re working construction again?”

“Yeah. Caught a break and found the old crew from Sunnydale relocated up here. Bossman always liked me, so he’s giving me a trial run that’s looking pretty good.”

“This is a nice setup,” Buffy sat on the leather couch and stared at the large screen TV dominating the living room area.

“I chip in for rent,” Andrew flopped down in an armchair to their right. “I got this supercool job at a comic shop down the street. I’m finally getting paid to sit around and read comics.”

“So what brings you back this way?” the blonde man was ignored by the trio as Xander focused on Buffy. “Thought you were off telling the new slayers of the world about their new powers. Didn’t think that could be done in two months.”

“It isn’t,” she took a deep breath and prepared to give him the news she knew he would not like hearing. “Something else came up.”

“Not another apocalypse. There has got to be some kind of mandatory waiting period between those popping up here.”

“No, no apocalypse. It’s a good something. At least, I think it is,” she grabbed his hands in hers. “Spike’s not dead dead. He’s here in LA and tonight we’re gonna bring him back to life. Real life. Not as a vampire, but as a human.”

“Are you sure we can’t have an apocalypse instead?”

~*~*~

“I don’t see why we can’t add a bit of color to his wardrobe is all I’m saying,” Dawn sighed as her sister flatly refused to add the shirt the teenager held to their pile of items to purchase.

“We’re shopping for Spike, not Xander, and that shirt has too much color for even Xander to wear,” Buffy blinked at the glaring splashes of color and put the garment back on the rack. “You’re right about the color, though. Do you think they have anything to match his eyes?”

“Oooh,” her younger sister’s eyes lit up at the idea, “lemme look. And maybe some red like he used to wear.”

As her sibling rushed off in search of something blue, the blonde shifted the pairs of jeans and numerous black t-shirts she carried from one arm to the other to check her watch. She was surprised to see that only an hour had passed since they arrived back at this mall to shop for Spike’s return. Blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes she wondered why shopping wasn’t as much fun when shopping for someone else then she saw another shopper walk past with a shopping bag from a leather shop in the mall and she smiled.

Maybe she was just browsing in the wrong shop.

After his last meeting of the day Angel stalked into his office to await the arrival of the monks only to grind to a surprised halt in the doorway.

“What’s going on here?”

“A little impromptu party for all of Spike’s friends,” Lorne stepped forward and threw an arm around Angel’s shoulders. “Come have some blood catch up with the old crew. You know everyone, right?”

“Whoa, over here,” Xander pointed the bottle of beer he held in his right hand at himself, “Not a friend of Spike. I’m here for Buffy.”

“I like Spike. Spike’s a friend of mine,” Andrew the Zima he’d chosen for his drink. “Mmm … a nice refreshing Zima. This is a good party. Can I have another one?”

“No,” answered Buffy, Spike and Xander who all know what just one Zima did to the blonde.

“Well this party sucks,” the young man pouted and sat down next to Dawn on the sofa.

“You’re not all going to go to this ritual, you know that, right?” Angel asked the gathering.

“We’re just here for moral support,” Dawn inched away from Andrew who was looking at her a bit funny.

“Who all will be going?” Kennedy asked.

“Me,” Willow raised her hand then pointed around the room, “Wesley, Buffy, Angel and the monks. An intimate little gathering.”

“Speaking of the monks, shouldn’t they be here by now?” Wesley turned from the window he was staring out of at the darkened sky. “Night has fallen.”

“Right this way,” Harmony was heard to say just then before ushering in a pair of figures covered in hooded brown robes. “Bossy, your appointment is here.”

Angel growled at her calling him that again and the blonde vampire shrugged apologetically before leaving the room.

“It is time,” the figure on the left informed them with his head bowed forward.

“Come with us now,” the second monk raised his head, but did not look at any of them before turning to leave the office assuming they would follow without question.

“That’s a bit creepy,” Fred observed before taking a sip of her martini.

“Showtime, Buffy,” Willow moved to take her friends arm and drag her away from Spike.

“I’ll see you soon,” the slayer lingered long enough to say to the ‘ghost.’

“Let’s hope you’re right, luv,” Spike sighed quietly as the group that was to restore him left the office to do the deed.

~*~*~

Wesley and Willow stepped cautiously into the crypt after the monks then stood just inside the chamber staring at the pentagram covering the floor then the five angry vampires chained to the box in which Spike would appear when the ceremony was complete.

“Are you certain you wish to do this?” the former watcher asked the redhead.

“I killed a deer to bring Buffy back,” Willow dismissed the five vampires she was about to sacrifice. “Killing a Bambi was harder than this will be.”

~*~*~

“Shouldn’t we be inside with them?” Buffy paced the cemetery outside the crypt.

“You’ll know when it’s your time to go in and we really don’t need to see the beginning,” Angel continued to lean against the side of the limo that had brought them there.

“This is really gonna work, right?” she stopped and looked at him with the worry she felt in every fiber of her being.

“It worked for Lindsey and Willow’s a lot better at this stuff than he was. You’re going to get your Spike back tonight,” he reassured her with surprising ease and sincerity.

“God, I hope so,” she bit her lip, paced for another minute then threw herself against him for a hug. “Promise me it’ll work.”

He didn’t make that promise. He just slowly wrapped his arms around her, patted her back soothingly and stared over her shoulder at the crypt.

~*~*~

“We begin,” Willow said to end the chanting of the monks. “Five are without breath,” she began circling the pentagram with scroll in hand.

“Yet they live,” the monks said.

“Five are without time.”

“Yet they live.”

“Five are without soul,” she ignored the vampires that growled hungrily as she stepped near them with each of her statements.

“Yet they live,” the monks continued to chime in.

“Five are without sun.”

“Yet they live.”

“Five are dead.”

“Yet they live.”

Willow stepped inside the circle and came to a stop at the tip of the pentagram then began the critical part of the ceremony as Buffy quietly slipped into the crypt.

“And the five shall be a sacrifice,” the redhead said in Latin, her eyes beginning to grow dark at the magiks she was channeling. “And the one who is dead shall live. Even as life and death are not two things but one,” her voice was growing stronger and something seemed to charge the air in the chamber. “In darkness is the light, in light is the darkness,” her body arched backward for a moment then she faced the box at the center of the pentagram and said with increasing volume. “Arise. Arise! Arise!”

The ground was shaking with increasing intensity and as the crypt began to shift dangerously around them the flesh of five vampires chained to the box evaporated to dust while their bones remained solid. A small tornado develops around the box, nearly knocking Buffy and Wesley off their feet with the force of its gusts, and quickly draws the dust and bones into its center to draw into the box. A ring of light erupts from the center of the circle. Buffy and Wesley turn and duck from the blinding glow as Willow braces herself to take the light inside her body. The energy slams into her with the force of a freight train and she doubles over unable to breathe, but does not fall from the impact or lose consciousness.

As the ground stops shaking and the light vanishes, Buffy and Wesley slowly turned to stare at the box. After another moment, the witch suddenly stands straight up and desperately draws in a deep breath of air.

“Willow,” Wesley finally noticed her struggle to fill her lungs and rushed to her side. “Relax. Relax. Look at me,” he forced her gaze to his then reared back in surprise upon seeing the pure black of her eyes.

Slowly she began breathing normally and as she did her eyes returned to their normal green color, causing Wesley to sigh in relief.

“Did it work?” Angel asked from the entrance to the crypt.

Buffy remained frozen against the wall just inside the chamber with her hopeful yet apprehensive gaze locked firmly on the large metal box that should now have her fully restored lover inside.

Wesley and Willow were now focused on the box, as well, but made no effort to approach it and get an answer to Angel’s question.

The monks were gone, having slid quietly off into the night the moment Willow spoke the last word of the ceremony and the resurrection began to actually occur.

“Someone needs to check,” the vampire in the doorway said without moving to do so himself.

~*~*~

Andrew, Dawn, Fred, Gunn, Kennedy, Lorne and Xander all stood staring silently at the spot they had last seen Spike.

“Is that a good thing?” Dawn finally asked nervously.

“He could just be doing his little vanishing act again and will probably pop up to scare us in a few minutes,” Gunn suggested.

“No,” Winifred argued and cautiously approached the area the ‘ghost’ had vanished from. “He hasn’t done that since getting free of Pavayne. I …,” she looked around the room worriedly. “I think he’s gone.”

“But he’d have to be gone for the ceremony to have worked so that’s probably a good thing,” Dawn was getting near tears and Xander moved to give her a reassuring hug. “Right?” she raised scared eyes to ask the man. “It’s a good thing, right?”

The others in the room all averted their eyes so the teenager wouldn’t see their doubts and remained silent.

“I’m sure it worked,” Xander lied unconvincingly and the girl buried her face against his chest and began to cry.

~*~*~

“I … I can’t look,” Buffy shook her head and bit her lip as the others looked to her to go check.

Angel remained planted firmly in the doorway of the crypt, leaving Wesley and Willow to begin arguing over which of them should go see if it worked.

“I did all the work, you check,” the Wiccan said.

“Exactly, you did all the work now you want to be sure that it worked,” the former watcher pushed the redhead toward the box. “So go see if it worked.”

“Maybe we could check together,” Willow dug her feet into the floor and resisted the man’s pushing.

“Would it help you twits along to know that I’m in here?” asked a familiar voice from inside the box. “And those clothes you brought for me would be nice right about now, luv.”

“Spike?!” they all four exclaimed and ran toward the box to peer down into it.

Lots of pale naked flesh was the first thing they noticed and upon seeing it Wesley and Willow jerked away from the box rather nervously.

Buffy’s eyes latched onto the familiar peroxide blonde hair topping the head she looked down on.

“Spike,” she whispered and he tipped his head back to look into her eyes.

As he rose awkwardly to his feet, Angel turned quickly away from the box and found the other two watching him anxiously.

“Is it … ” they both looked from the box to Angel then back again.

“It is,” Buffy answered as Spike finally stood before her with his bare torso sticking up out of the box.

The reunited lovers gazed at each other with such emotion that the other three present averted their eyes, shifted their feet awkwardly then mumbled something and left the crypt.

Hesitantly Buffy and Spike each raised one of their hands and extended it toward the other. At the same moment, with the same almost fearful light touch, their fingers brushed over each other’s faces.

Upon finding that she touched actual skin Buffy’s caresses grew more confident until she was running both her hands over his face and torso and tears streamed down her cheeks for his warm solid fingers to brush away.

“It actually worked,” she sobbed and wrapped her arms around his waist with her hands sliding up to curl over his shoulders and hold him as tightly against her as she could.

“Was there ever any doubt,” Spike swallowed back his own tears, slid his arms around her waist then buried his face in her hair.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Buffy asked Angel as they all stepped into the elevator in the lobby of Wolfram & Hart to get up to the vampire’s office.

“No.”

“Do you have to do it all tonight?” she knew she was whining a bit, but didn’t really care as she leant back against Spike who had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his mouth running over her neck.

“Yes,” Angel said firmly while staring at the lift doors and trying to ignore the couple behind them.

“I’m sure you both,” Wesley looked at the couple, saw one of Spike’s hands venture south of the slayer’s waist then quickly looked away again with a clearing of his throat, “have some … catching up you wish to do, but Angel is right. The powers that we dealt with tonight are dangerous and dark. We cannot take any chances on having brought something else to this realm with Spike.”

“So how long am I to be your bloody guinea pig then?” Spike looked up from Buffy’s nape and glared at the other men in the lift.

“Lorne will only take a few minutes, Winifred and the doctors could take days to complete their necessary testing,” Wesley replied.

“Do I really have to sing for him?” Willow spoke up from the back of the elevator as the doors opened. “Cause me and singing are things that don’t go hand in hand.”

“Trust me, you can’t be as bad as Angel,” the former watcher replied dryly, earning a glare from the vampire, “and yes, I’m afraid we all have to sing for Lorne.”

“When I prove you wrong, just remember you made me do it,” the redhead followed the group out of the lift and toward Angel’s office.

Before they got there Dawn, with her eyes dry now, but red from crying and worry, came running out to greet them and pushed her sister aside to prove to herself that Spike was really ok.

“Hey!” Buffy turned and glared at her sibling hugging and groping the man. “That’s my boyfriend. No one gropes him, but me,” she nudged the teenager away and slid her hands under the black leather trenchcoat Spike wore over his new black T-shirt and jeans.

“No groping anyone by anyone tonight,” Angel growled and yanked the bleached blonde away from the others to push him toward the office.

The Summers sisters both pouted after the men then Buffy saw Dawn’s pout and elbowed her sister in the ribs before they followed the others.

“Sing,” Angel was ordering Spike who he’d pushed in front of the green empath demon in the room.

“After you, peaches,” the blonde countered with a stubborn expression.

Fine,” the dark haired vamp turned to Lorne and began flatly, “Oh, Mandy. Well you came and you gave without taking - ”

“Bloody hell, make it stop,” Spike covered his ears and glared at the green demon who only shushed him.

“But I sent you away,” Angel’s singing got louder and even more grating at the interruption, “oh, Mandy. Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,” Andrew, Buffy, Dawn, Fred, Kennedy, Willow and Xander were all snickering while Gunn tried to pretend he didn’t want to join them in laughing at his boss. “And I need you today, oh, Mandy,” the vampire sang on with glares at everyone, “Well, you came and you gave without taking - ”

“Is that all you know? Pick a bloody awful song and don’t even know all the words to it,” Spike scoffed as the chorus was repeated. “Pathetic, that is.”

“That’s enough,” Lorne stepped between them and looked at Angel. “Mi amigo, you’re clean, but I’m gonna have to agree with this one and request new material from you in the future. Give Manilow a break. Slim,” he turns to Spike, “you’re up next.”

“Any requests?” the man looks over to Buffy and Dawn who were trying to stop laughing at Angel.

“Oh, you know any Billy Idol songs? ‘Cause that would be cool with the way you look like him,” Andrew suggested.

“That ponce? I’ll not be singing any of those songs, thank you very much,” Spike ran a hand through his hair and muttered, “Bloody git stole this look from me, he did.”

“I understood there to be a desire to hurry this part along so you could get to the poking, proding and pricking tortures Fred and the docs here have planned for ya, so you wanna just pick something and begin,” Lorne sighed.

“Ok, let’s see if you know this one,” Spike smirked at Angel. “Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name,” he began slowly in a rich clear voice made all the more appealing by his accent, “but what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game. I watched with glee while your kings and queens, fought for ten decades for the God they made. I shouted out,” he was really started to get into the song now and Angel glared at how the others seemed to be enjoying the tune, “’Who killed the Kennedys’ when after all it was you and me. Let me please, introduce myself I’m a man of wealth and taste,” he preened a bit for his audience, “and I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reach Bombay. Pleased to meet you, baby,” he blew Buffy a kiss, “hope you guessed my name, but what’s confusing you is the nature of my game.”

“Fabulous,” Lorne clapped and made a cutting gesture at his throat for Spike to stop. “You are perfect. I see nothing but good for you in your future and you positively glow,” the empath turned to Buffy, “Hope you remember where you put that amulet.”

“Sympathy for the Devil,” Wesley recognized the man’s song choice wryly. “A rather fitting selection I suppose.”

“And a hard act to follow,” Willow pouted. “Do we have to do the singing here? With other people present?”

“What was that about the amulet?” Buffy said at the same time the redhead spoke.

“Minor details,” Lorne again waved for the room to be quiet. “Next?”

Buffy, Wesley and Willow exchanged slightly panicked looks then began arguing at once who they felt should go next.

“Puh-lease, children, this is not a root canal. The sooner you step up the sooner you’re done,” the green demon joined the trio and threw an arm over Buffy and Willow’s shoulders. “Wes, let’s see what you can do.”

“Me?” the man’s eyes went wide. “Why must I go next?”

“Because these two lovely ladies look too good propping my arms up at the moment for me to let either of them go next,” Lorne replied with a smile. “Any requests for Wesley?” he asked the room at large.

“Do you know any Billy Idol songs?” Andrew asked timidly.

Ignoring them, Wesley sighed and rubbed at his forehead thoughtfully before apparently making a decision and facing the empath demon.

“Yesterday,” the man began a bit roughly with no music to help him along, “all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay Oh, I believe in yesterday,” he took a breath and continued with a bit more confidence. “Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be, there’s a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday came suddenly,” he paused thinking that had been enough, but Lorne urged him to continue. “Why she,” he stumbled a bit over that, “had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say. I said something wrong now I long for yesterday,” his voice grew quieter as if he was singing only to himself. “Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away. Oh I believe in yesterday. I believe in yesterday,” he trailed off and walked over to stare blankly out the window.

“Well,” Lorne cleared his throat and clapped once to break the awkward silence after the rather emotional rendition by the stoic man. “You’re fine and you’re next,” he looked from Wesley to Buffy.

Fred shifted a bit and cast odd little glances toward the man at the window while Buffy argued against going next then began complaining about not knowing any songs to sing. Angel sensed the same unease in his friend as Winifred was at that moment and moved to place a comforting hand on Wes’s shoulder.

“Oooh, I know,” Dawn bounced over to her sister’s side and whispered something in the slayer’s ear as they failed to pay any attention to the bit of drama playing out among Angel’s gang.

“I … I don’t know the words to that song,” Buffy looked around paranoidly at whatever her sibling had suggested.

“Oh, yes, you do,” the teenager refuted with a big smile. “And I know you do.”

“Ok, I just don’t wanna sing that song,” the older girl said firmly with a warning glare.

“What song?” Spike, Willow and Xander all asked.

“Come on,” Dawn pleaded. “I know you always think of Spike when you hear it and that’s why you sing it so often when you think I don’t hear you and he’s hear and you know he’ll love hearing you sing it.”

“And now I’m bloody curious to hear it,” Spike moved to stand behind Buffy and slip his arms around her waist. “What’s the ditty?”

“I can just sing the chorus right?” the slayer asked Lorne who nodded.

“No, sing the whole song. For Spike,” Dawn encouraged despite the gleam in her sister’s eyes that spoke of mortal danger for the teenager.

“Shut up. I’m just doing the chorus,” Buffy told her sibling before taking a deep breath and beginning more in a talking than singing manner, “so, baby, take a chance and show your confidence. Oh, baby, tell me who you are. You make my body scream, you make me believe that you’re what I’m waiting for. Don’t you be intimidated.”

“Puh-lease,” Angel turned to stare at her with a roll of his eyes.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but going to have to actually sing a bit for me to get a reading,” Lorne informed her as she looked at him expectantly.

“I sang. I just sang for you. It was a song and I sang it and now it’s Willow’s turn,” the slayer argued.

“It may have been a song, sister, but you spoke it. Sing for me, honey, or look at your yummy new boyfriend all back in the flesh and sing for him,” the demon encouraged.

With warning glares around the room threatening unspeakable tortures to anyone who laughed, she turned and focused on Spike then began another song she knew by heart.

“What’s practical is logical. What the hell who cares? All I know I’m so happy when you’re dancing there,” she began singing as much as one can to a Britney Spears song. “I’m a slave for you. I cannot hold it, I cannot control it. I’m a slave for you. I won’t deny it, I’m not trying to hide it. Baby,” Spike leered at her a bit and she smiled and began gyrating her hips for him in rhythm with the song she heard in her head, “don’t you wanna, dance upon me to another time and place. Baby, don’t you wanna dance upon me, leaving behind my name, my age.”

“That’s enough Britney for my lifetime,” Angel called the performance to a halt. “Don’t even try saying you didn’t get a read off that,” he said to the green empath.

“She’s good,” Lorne informed his boss. “Maybe too good at the moment,” he glanced at the slayer and saw her locked in a heated embrace with her resurrected lover.

“I need a drink,” Angel growled and stalked to the liquor cabinet.

“Any chance someone can gouge my other eye out?” Xander joked weakly as he watched his friend making out with the former ‘dead boy, jr.’

“It can be arranged if that’s your bloody spirit,” Spike offered with a bit of a snarl as Buffy broke off their kiss.

“Children, please, we’re almost done here,” the host strived for a return to peace. “Witchy one, you’re the best saved for last. Now I hope you’ve taken all the time I’ve given you to get a song all ready to sing.”

“I did,” the redhead nodded then bit her lip, “Just don’t laugh,” she ordered the room. “Anyone who laughs will get their lips sown shut. If you don’t believe me,” she told Angel, Fred, Gunn, Lorne and Wesley, “ask them,” she waved to the fellow Scoobies. “I can really do that.”

“Yeah and it’s as ugly as it sounds,” Xander remembered having seen the Wiccan sow Warren’s lips shut when she was grieving Tara’s loss.

“No laughing,” everyone assured her.

“Ok,” Willow took a deep breath and began singing quickly, “My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name, it’s M-A-Y-E-R. O, I love to eat it everyday and if you ask my why I say, ‘cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.”

“Interesting choice and boy did it make me hungry,” Lorne gave the woman a kiss on the cheek. “Everyone here is okie dokie by me,” he informed the room.

“Isn’t Willow a lesbian?” Andrew asked with a puzzled expression. “Why would a lesbian sing about loving her bologna?”

There was complete silence in the office for a moment, then Dawn snickered followed quickly by Fred and Xander until everyone had no less than an amused smile on their face.

“You’re lips are so sealed,” the witch’s eyes flashed and everyone ceased being amused.

“We were laughing at Andrew, not you,” they all defended with hands going protectively to their mouths.

“That’s the ‘you’ I was talking about,” Willow stepped toward the geek who shrieked girlishly and dove behind the sofa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Songs Used:

Angel – Barry Manilow’s “Mandy” as he sang so dreadfully in episode 2x01 “Judgement.”

Spike – Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil,” just struck me as a Spike song and James Marsters singing it … whoo *fans self at the thought* (Speaking of James singing any Spike fans who’ve not yet done so check out his band Ghost of the Robot whose first CD “Mad Brilliant” can be purchased at ghostoftherobot.com. Most every song has a Spuffy vibe to it in some way, or maybe I’m just reading too much into the lyrics, so a must have for every shipper.)

Wesley – The Beatles “Yesterday” I’m not really sure Wes would actually know that song, but I’m a Wesley/Lilah shipper (I know not many real ones out there, but they were so hot just reading the transcripts that I got pulled into their drama) and I really kinda think it’s a good song for him to reflect upon what he had with her. Another excellent one is Morphine’s “The Night,” but as ‘Lilah’ is the clearly mentioned in the lyrics of the song I felt actually using it as Wesley’s choice would be too sentimental for the character to be believed.

Buffy – Britney Spears “Intimidated” then “I’m A Slave 4 You” chosen ‘cause I love those songs and I’m betting the slayer would be a closet pop fan like I am.

Willow – The Oscar Mayer bologna jingle ‘cause it was hard for me to think of a song for her, but it was really easy for me to imagine her and Xander having gotten goofy over that jingle in the past.

“Need I remind you I’m no longer a vampire,” Spike yanked his arm back when Fred approached it again with a familiar needle, “replacing all this blood you’re taking isn’t as easy as biting one of the gits around here for a refill.”

“I’ve barely taken any, ya big baby, now sit still and shut up,” Winifred hid a smile as she took his arm and drew another sample of blood for examination.

Buffy, who was standing behind him, made no effort to stop her smile at his complaining.

“I’m glad you find this amusing,” he surprised her by whipping around suddenly and seeing the smile.

“I’m not,” she denied then smiled up at him and ran her fingers through his hair. “You’re just so cute like this.”

“Cute?” he glared at her.

“Utterly adorable. Like a sulking little boy,” she teased as his glare intensified. “It’s a real turn on for me,” she whispered into his ear so it wouldn’t be overheard.

“Do you now?” he pulled back to arch a skeptical brow at her.

“Yep,” she slid her arms around his neck and nibbled at his earlobe. “Makes me wanna take you into your arms and do all kinds of adult things to you to stop that sulking.”

His arms wrapped around her waist and his hands cupped her ass and pulled her against him.

“Tell me more,” he did some nibbling at her ear until she moaned and tipped her head to the side encouraging him to move his lips down her neck.

“Did Fred hurt you with that nasty needle?” she teased pulling his left arm from around her waist and frowning at the puncture marks left by the scientist’s drawing blood. “Shall I kiss it and make it all better, baby?”

Her fingers were stroking over the warm skin of his inner arm and the gleam in her eyes sparked a matching fire in his as he tightened his other arm around her waist while bending to snatch a kiss.

All teasing faded away as she marveled at the still new feel of his moist lips being warm against hers instead of slightly cool against her heat. She moved both her hands back to his head to deepen the kiss and his arm instantly went back around her waist.

He was growing hard in his tight jeans and she relished the familiar feel of that hardness against her stomach as they opened their mouths wider to allow their tongues absolute access while her hands dug into his hair and his pulled up her shirt to get to her bare back. They were moaning and gasping for breath when they reluctantly pulled away for fill their hungry lungs then Spike pushed her backward until he found a low table to lift her up on.

Forgetting all about where they were Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist to grind herself against his erection as their mouths went back to devouring one another.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Fred finally stopped watching the reunited lovers with a fond expression and rushed forward to stop the hanky panky when Spike’s shirt was removed with Buffy’s about to follow right afterward. “You can’t do that here.”

The shirt came off to reveal the slayer’s having foregone wearing a bra today and Winifred whipped away from the sight with her lower lip held thoughtfully between her teeth as she tried to think of a way to stop them before Angel or someone else wandered in to see how these tests were going.

“Christ, I’ve missed this,” Spike groaned against Buffy’s throat as they remained oblivious to the scientist in the lab with them.

“Me too. So much,” Buffy arched and moaned as his hands found her bared breasts. “More,” she squeezed him closer to her core with her legs while directing his mouth back to hers. “Need you so bad,” her hands went to the front of his jeans between kisses.

Behind them Fred ‘awwed’ as the beauty of the moment of such powerful love she was witnessing then she heard a zipper being lowered and squeaked in surprise. Hoping they wouldn’t kill her too painfully, she raised the only thing she could think of to stop them, aimed it, closed her eyes and fired.

“What the hell?” Spike reared back at the feel of something cold suddenly coating his bare back.

Buffy’s hands ran over his back, felt the substance and she snapped out of her little haze to stare in confusion at the foamy whiteness covering her palms.

“Sorry about that,” Winifred slowly lowered the fire extinguisher’s nozzle as the couple turned their heads to stare at her in disbelief. “I … I tried to you know stop you with talking, but I really don’t think you heard me and, um, this was all I could think of on short notice.”

“A bloody fire extinguisher? Are you daft?” Spike forgot about his pants being open and turned to face the woman.

With a shrill “Eep” of surprise, that made Buffy snicker as she realized the likely cause of that squeal, the scientist quickly turned to look the other way and Spike looked down to see what the brunette had seen to react so.

“So about that,” he grinned cockily and tucked himself back in his pants carefully. “Safe again,” he told the woman after pulling his zipper back up.

“You,” Fred peeked over her shoulder cautiously before relaxing a bit and facing them once again. “You should probably wash that off pretty quickly,” she put the used extinguisher aside and cringed apologetically at the man. “It’s chemicals so you probably don’t want it on the skin.”

“You don’t say,” he located his shirt and bent to pick it up.

Buffy shrieked when she realized he was no longer concealing her topless status from the scientist and she quickly snatched up her own top the was nearby on the table.

Spike stood again and the slayer quickly pulled her shirt back on as he began using his to wipe at the foam on his back.

“The shower would probably be a better idea,” Winifred said helpfully then rushed on when the couple exchanged a heated glance at the suggestion. “A cold shower for you,” she wagged a finger at Spike, “and you can wash your hands in the sink,” she informed Buffy firmly.

“Yes, mum,” the former vampire smirked and reluctantly helped his lover down from the table before heading off toward the showers not far from the lab.

With a sigh the blonde watched him go before going to wash her hands as instructed by the scientist.

~*~*~

Spike held a sleeping Buffy against his chest as he sat in a chair in the lab and watched the trio huddled across the room discussing him.

“I’m just saying that he’s exhibiting traits of both, not that he is both,” Winifred whispered with a slightly exasperated expression at Angel and Wesley. “He’s definitely human now. Nothing undead about him, there are just a few anomalies.”

“We need specifics here, Fred,” Wesley said firmly. “If any of these anomalies include a craving for blood we’re in a spot a trouble.”

“He is not a vampire,” the scientist snapped a bit louder than she intended and she looked up to see if the topic of conversation had heard her.

“Yeah, I heard you, pet,” Spike gave her a little salute. “And no craving blood here, you prat,” he informed Wes.

“He heard that?” Angel whispered to his companions.

“Yes, Liam, he has two fully functioning ears same as you that are hearing your every bloody word,” the blonde man snarled disturbing the sleep of the woman he held.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy sensed her lover’s upset and awoke quickly to determine its source.

“Sorry, luv,” Spike kissed her forehead and stroked her stomach where one of his hands rested. “Just arguing with the poof.”

“Arguing about what?”

“Our mad scientist here is all aflutter over something her bloody tests found and those two are thinking I’m still a big bad vamp in human clothing,” his blue eyes glared at Angel and Wesley. “Even though I passed their bloody demon’s test with flying colors.”

“What did you find?” the slayer rose to demand of Fred.

“Something I obviously should have kept to myself,” the brunette exhaled tiredly and removed her glasses. “Everything I’ve found indicates that he’s mortal now with the same human frailties we – most of us here have,” she glanced at Angel before continuing, “but there are indications of something more. He still appears to have the heightened senses of a vampire, hence his hearing us talk all the way across the room, and his reflexes are still much faster than that of a normal person. My preliminary test results suggest an advanced genetic structure with a hint of superior regenerative capabilities. I’ve also detected some kind of energy surrounding him that I can’t identify or locate a source for. But,” she said firmly in response to all the looks she was getting from those around her, “None of this is bad. It’s just curious and I believe it merits further study, but purely for the sake of scientific knowledge not because it poses any kind of threat. Lorne says he’s clean and all my tests completely back that up. He’s a flesh and blood human with … well, superhuman abilities.”

“Superhuman?” Angel, Buffy and Wesley all repeated with disbelief while Spike’s tone was rather pleased as he said it with them.

“The heightened senses, reflexes, genetics and energy all indicate that he’s retained the more desirable traits of a vampire while becoming fully human. Like a hybrid, which makes sense when you think about it because he’s a former vampire brought back from the dead as a human thanks to the sacrificing of five other vampires.”

“A hybrid?” again the whole room asked in sync.

“Could you all stop doing that? It’s really freaking me out,” Fred frowned at them all before putting her glasses back on. “All this is supposition and theory on my part. I noticed a few tiny little details that weren’t completely normal and, of course, my mind locked onto those tiny details even though further testing could show them to be nothing and I really shouldn’t have told any of you any of this until I’d done that further testing, but frankly the information I have now was exciting to me at least and – silly me - I just assumed you’d find it interesting as well, but now I know differently and in future I’ll keep my mouth shut in situations like this.”

“I thought Willow was the only one who could do that,” Buffy marveled. “The talking without breathing without passing out thing.”

“Rewind a bit to the ‘could show them to be nothing’ part,” Spike said. “Am I or aren’t I superhuman?”

“All signs right now point to you are, but it could just be residual or misreadings on my part,” Winifred confessed.

“Ok then,” Wesley stepped forward. “We’ll run all the tests again and I’ll examine the results.”

“Oh bullocks,” complained the man who knew what poking and prodding those tests would bring.

“Angel, it may be a good idea to get Lorne back here to tell us everything he saw in Spike’s reading,” the former watcher ignored Spike and said.

“Can we at least go upstairs for a quickie before you get started on all that?” Buffy asked with a bluntness that must have rubbed off on her from having known Anya.

“No,” came Angel, Fred and Wesley’s quick response.

Spike just gave her a leer, wrapped his arms around her waist and informed her so the others would hear, “We don’t need to go upstairs for that. These tables are solid enough if the geeks here will look away for a bit.”

“No,” Winifred said firmly. “You two are not doing anything else on my tables!”

“What do you mean ‘anything else’?” Angel asked slowly.

“Need I remind you people what happens when I don’t get my beauty sleep?” Lorne groaned as he arrived back at Angel’s office around 3 am.

“Wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important,” Angel sat behind his desk and growled warningly at Buffy and Spike sitting way too close to each other on his couch. “We need to know exactly what you saw when you read Spike and you might need to read him again.”

“What’s your worry, morning glory? He’s perfect. All bright and shiny with goodness. Honestly that future was so sweet I don’t know whether to cry or vomit,” the empath demon assured them.

“Fred found some things in her tests and we need specifics here. What did you see?” the vampire persisted.

“That little bauble slim here popped out of to make that fab re-entrance into this realm? He’s still connected to it with a nifty side-effect. The magic protecting the amulet now protects him, making him virtually indestructible unless on hallowed ground. He stays here fighting the good fight with us and his little honey there and it’s all happily ever blah blah blah.”

“Why the bloody hell would I stay here?” Spike asked as that point stood out from the host’s statement.

“You know how you couldn’t get past the city limits when ya first got here? Well, get used to that. The amulet still belongs to this company and you still belong to the amulet so … welcome,” Lorne stood and waved at the darkened city outside the window “to your new home, blondie bear.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Angel said slowly as he rose to his feet. “Read him again.”

“If you insist,” the demon sighed then motioned for the blonde man to rise and sing. “Ready when you are.”

“Ok, I got one for ya,” Spike got to his feet after a moment’s thought and slowly started singing another Rolling Stones hit, “I can’t get no sat-is-faction. I can’t get no satisfaction ‘cause I try and I try and I try and I try. I can’t get no, I can’t get no. When I’m drivin’ in my car and that man comes on the radio and he’s tellin’ me more and more about some useless information. Supposed to fire my imagination. I can’t get no. Oh no no no - ”

Lorne stopped him with an upraised hand and turned to Angel, “Still the same future and one of the clearest readings I’ve ever gotten. If you want more proof let me just say that what I saw reading Buffy showed the same future for them both. So sorry, cream puff, but that’s the way this cookie’s gonna crumble. Any chance I can go back home and get some sleep now? I was having a pretty good dream before you called and I don’t want to keep those twins waiting.”

The vampire was too busy glaring at the couple behind the demon as Buffy reached up to grab Spike’s T-shirt and pull the blonde man down to the sofa with her with a playful, “You’ll get your satisfaction soon enough,” before proceeding to kiss him in a fashion that had Angel making a mental note to burn that couch tomorrow.

“Hey, kiddies, take that upstairs,” Lorne ordered indulgently as he turned to see what had his boss’s attention.

“That’s what we’ve been trying to do all bloody night,” Spike broke the kiss he was involved in to snap with a glare at the man standing behind his desk.

“Go on then. Get out of my office,” Angel sighed and reluctantly gave the couple the order they’d been waiting for.

“Stop being a gloomy Gus, sweet pea,” the empath demon sat on the edge of Angel’s desk as the lovers eagerly departed the office. “I saw good things in your reading, too, and the sooner you get happy for those two, the better that future will be. Just make sure there’s enough resentment there to keep Angelus out of the picture.”

“Oh, I’m happy for them. Spike’s a real boy again and going upstairs right now to screw my ex-girlfriend. Whoo hoo, there’s a ticker tape parade going on in my head for them. 76 damn trombones and all that,” the green man tsked at his friend’s sarcasm. “He really can’t leave L.A?” the vampire looked into Lorne’s red eyes and sighed heavily at what he saw there. “Ok,” he tipped his head back and began speaking to the ceiling, “so maybe in my past I’ve slaughtered and tortured a few innocents and once tried to send the whole world into hell. Was any of it really bad enough for me to deserve this?”

~*~*~

Buffy pushed the button for their floor seconds before Spike grabbed hold of her and pushed her against the back wall of the elevator with his lips moving over hers with bruising force. She returned the kiss with matching hunger and wrapped her legs around his waist as her fingers slid into his hair with her palms resting against his perfect cheekbones.

Somehow he heard the ding of the elevator announcing their arrival and turned with her still wrapped around him to make his way from the lift down the hallway to the room she’d been given on the upper levels of the building.

“Key,” he broke the kiss to say and with a whimper she instantly pulled his warm lips back to hers. “Buffy,” he tried when they broke apart for air a minute later, “need the key to your room here, pet.”

“Oh,” she blinked before slowly untangling her legs from around him to stand a bit unsteadily on her feet and dig into her pants pockets for the item.

“Screw this,” he muttered when she began wondering aloud what she’d done with it.

With a snarl of impatience he wrapped his hands around the doorknob and twisted it forcefully with enough strength behind his actions to break the lock so the door could be pushed open.

He gave her a cocky, self-satisfied smirk at his accomplishment that had her taking him by surprise with the way she threw herself at him again – legs around his waist once more, fingers twisted in his short platinum hair and her mouth devouring his.

Under the passionate onslaught Spike held onto the writhing bundle in his arms, stepped into the room, kicked the door shut behind them and stumbled his way to the bed.

As soon as his legs hit the edge of the mattress he turned and fell back on it with a hard bounce that dislodged Buffy’s lips from his.

She didn’t seemed to mind, though, as she quickly began kissing her way down his neck, pausing to bite sharply at his Adam’s apple to make him arch upward and grind his erection against her.

“Why did you have to put this back on?” she pouted when her lips met the cotton obstacle of his shirt. “Clothes bad.”

“That they are, luv,” he smiled and began tugging her shirt off.

Maneuvering her legs from underneath him so she could sit up and straddle his this the slayer licked her lips with a wicked gleam in her eye before taking the collar of his T-shirt in both hands and ripping the fabric apart.

“God I’ve missed doing that,” she grinned while sitting back on her heels to admire the pale skin exposed by the torn black garment.

His breath stilled in his lungs as she placed her hands on his chest to push the shirt aside. Not needing any encouragement he twisted a bit under her to free his arms from the sleeves of the coat he still wore and the cotton remains.

Her hands slid under him to curl up over his shoulders from behind as her head slowly lowered toward his chest when he was finished, but instead of kissing his body she laid her head over his heart.

“Buffy?” he asked with concern after a moment when he felt a warm drop of moisture touch his skin.

In answer she turned her head to kiss him where the tear had fallen then raised her watery green eyes to gaze into his blue depths.

“This is real,” she moved her hands from his back to his face, fingers lovingly tracing every feature. “You’re real,” a smiled touched her lips. “Your heart is beating so hard.”

“Always said if it could beat it would break my chest ‘cause of you,” his hands cupped her face with fingers brushing aside her tears.

“Mine’s the same,” she whispered and moved one of his hands to rest against the soft flesh covering her heart. “Feel it.”

“I feel it, luv,” his fingers curled around her breast while his mouth moved to press against the pulse pounding at her throat.

A quivering sigh of pleasure escaped her and she pressed her chest into his hand and pulled his head tighter against her skin.

Smoothly Spike rolled them so that she was beneath him with his body pressing heavily against hers and every inch of her relished the pressure.

Their urgency of just a few seconds ago was gone and for a moment they simply laid their absorbing each other’s heat and luxuriating in the feel of their flesh touching again.

“I love you,” she looked deeply into his eyes, seeing his beautiful soul and the love he too felt shining in his gaze along with the smoldering flare of desire.

Their lips met and he gave no verbal reply, but the softness of his mouth as it gently parted hers for his tongue to slip inside and glide over the hard ridges of her teeth before rasping over her own told her everything she needed to know.

Her tongue danced with his and her half naked body began undulating under him until the softness was forgotten in the heat of passion again.

His lips were firm and hungry as they moved from hers down her neck to her breasts as he worked open the fastenings of her jeans. The inferno of his mouth tore a surprised gasp from her as it enveloped her nipple and drew strongly on the nub.

“Spike,” she moaned in a request for more.

He moved to her other breast and thrust a hand into her pants to delve into the moisture he knew would be there.

After just a moment of those dually satisfying actions he pulled away to tear off her shoes and strip her bare. It took him a minute to throw aside his black doc marten boots so he could stand and get out of the rest of his clothes.

Buffy shifted to a kneeling position in the middle of the mattress to watch his unveiling and she sighed his name when he straightened to stand nude before her for just a moment then crawled back onto the bed.

She giggled a bit when he butted his head against her stomach then slowly moved it back and forth to tickle her skin with his hair. Her fingers slid into his hair and he pressed his mouth to her bellybutton before kissing his way up her body while applying a gentle pressure to push her on to her back again.

Her lips were parted and waiting for his when they left her throat and found her mouth.

His lean hips settled between her legs and she draped them around his waist so her feet rested lightly on the backs of his thighs.

“God, Buffy,” he pulled away to groan as she began rocking her hips against him.

“I need you,” her hands ran down his back to curl over the taut cheeks of his ass.

“Patience, luv,” he braced himself up on his elbows and smiled down at her.

“Two months,” she raised her head to lick his neck and tasted the beginnings of sweat on his skin, “too long,” she moved to bite his earlobe, “ready,” her hips wiggled to try getting him inside her, “need you,” she worked a hand between their bodies to take hold of his erection when her wriggling didn’t work, “Now,” she moaned as her fingers guided him home.

They both froze as the tip of his shaft stretched her opening and dipped into her wet heat. Her hand remained at the base of his erection as they looked into each others eyes and ceased to breathe as they savored the moment. Then he whispered softly in her ear that he loved her and her hand moved back to his butt to press him in further.

Spike took his time, inching forward then pausing to memorize the way her body adjusted and seemed to mold itself to him.

Their gazes remained locked every second of his entry with their mouths mere inches apart.

They didn’t kiss. They breathed in each other’s air and stared into each other’s soul and it was more intense then many of their kisses.

When finally he was buried to the hilt inside her his eyelids drifted halfway down then opened fully again to watch hers fall closed in ecstasy. For a single second he stayed unmoving in her, watching her beautiful face react, then he could take no more.

He moved his right hand down her body to grip her thigh and pull it higher over his hips as he began thrusting slowly. His left hand moved into her hair as he lowered his lips to kiss hers with the same gentle rhythm of his body inside her.

Then she began rising to meet his thrusts and raking her fingers up and down his back and demanding more with her mouth.

Needing air in his new lungs, he turned from her lips and pressed his face against the side of her neck as need took over them both.

Her legs were no longer draped over his hips, they were locked around his waist like a vise to make sure he didn’t leave her when he withdrew only to slam back into her very core.

They both savored the new elements to their lovemaking. The erratic pace of both their heartbeats as their bodies moved faster and harder together. The labored panting breaths they each took to fill their lungs with much needed oxygen. The sweat that beaded up on his flesh and made her grasping hands slips and slide over his back until her fingers dug sharply into the flexing muscles of his upper back.

Most of all they felt the heat.

His breath and body seemed to add fuel to the raging inferno inside her when in the past those had been cool things that helped tame the wildfire.

Now only one thing would satisfy the flames of desire eating her up inside and that was to let them burn them both.

Incoherent words of love, want and need spilled from both their lips as their bodies pounding against each other toward orgasm.

Those words melted into cries and moans and whimpers torn from Buffy’s throat as he gave one powerful thrust then twisted his hips to grind his groin against her exposed clit causing her body to tense and arched just one more small push away from climax. He pulled almost completely out of her only to repeat that thrust and twist at the same time as his blunt teeth sank into the flesh of her throat where her pulse pounded so frantically and that was all she needed.

Crying out his name her legs clenched with bruising force around his waist, her fingernails drew blood from the skin of his back and her inner muscles clamped down on his shaft.

Her name escaped his lips on a gasp for breath as he felt her convulsions and thrust into her three more times before stiffening to release himself deeply inside her.

“Buffy, I love you,” he panted as his sweating body collapsed onto hers.

Too breathless to speak she just pressed her lips against his neck and wrapped her arms tightly around him as aftershocks ran through her body.

“Wow,” Buffy said when she finally got her brain cells and mouth functioning in sync to get a word out.

“Told you it was a talent I wouldn’t lose,” Spike rolled off her to lay on his side smirking at her sweaty well loved body.

“Maybe it’s just beginner’s luck,” she teased and shifted on to her own side facing him.

“Ready for another go then?” his smirk remained firmly in place as he slid a finger between her lips to get the tip wet then trailed the digit down her neck to circle a half hard nipple.

“I was born ready,” she pushed him onto his back as the nipple returned to full arousal at his touch. “And I believe I get the top this time.”

“Says you,” he nudged her onto her back and quickly rolled on top of her.

“Oh, come on,” she pouted up into his face before he lowered it to lick, suck and nibble his way down her neck. “You know you love me on top,” she moaned and her toes curled into the blankets under her body as he sucked on the sensitive patch of skin right where her neck and shoulder met.

“That I do, luv,” his hands cupped her breasts for his approaching mouth. “This titties of your bounce so sweet while you ride my cock,” he licks first one then the other nipple, “but,” he moves to press a quick kiss against her mouth, “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Oh,” a shiver ran through her body as his lips made their way down the center of her chest. “Well, then,” she moaned and spread her thighs as he circled her navel with his tongue then settled himself between her legs, “I guess I can wait for my turn.”

“Right generous of you, pet,” he smirked and stroked his hands over her soft inner thighs.

“I know,” she smiled back at him then sighed dramatically. “I just give and give and give,” she giggled at the disbelieving look he flashed her way.

“Sure you are,” he turned his focus to the treasure before him. “Me? I just take,” he ran his fingers through her neatly trimmed pubic hairs and parted her wet folds to reveal the deep reddish pink color of her pussy, “and take,” he blew a warm breath over her wetness then gave her a wink before diving in, “and take,” he said against her clit as he took the nub into his mouth.

“Mmm, you’re a greedy man, Spike,” she moaned and pressed her head back into the mattress as his tongue began licking up and down her slit.

“Love it don’t you?” he asked while making quick darting forays inside her to coat his tongue with their combined juices.

“Yes,” one hand fisted in the blankets at her side and the other sank into his soft silky hair to draw him nearer to her core.

“Who’s being greedy now?” he teased at the demanding touch with a light nip of his teeth on her clitoris.

A gleam entered her eyes as she remembered so well all the times they had taunted and teased one another before he got his soul and she used her hand to pull his head back so she could look into his eyes.

“Spike,” she said softly when he focused on her face, “eat me.”

“There’s my bossy little bird,” he gave her a smirk then lowered his head again to obey.

At the first deep thrust of his tongue inside her she sighed in contentment at having it there again. Then he did that bone melting tongue curling thing of his so that the tip of his tongue raked over channel and sent an uncontrollable shiver running through her body. The tongue was then withdrawn to circle her entrance and run up to rasp roughly over her clit before he shoved it back inside to lick her pussy clean.

Over and over again he repeated the same process - twisting his head from side to side to hit all her magic spots from every possible angle, varying the speed and pressure he used and sometimes humming just a bit to send wonderful vibrations through her.

Moaning and panting and shaking under his talented ministrations she sank both her hands into his hair and pressed his head against her as she thrust her hips upward for more.

After a moment he suddenly yanked his head away and rested laid it against her inner thigh as he gulped air into his lungs.

“Careful, luv,” he panted, “remember I gotta breathe now.”

She was too far gone to notice his words, though, and seeing that he smiled a bit cockily and resumed his oral play, this time keeping his mouth focused on her clit while bringing his fingers in to explore her depths.

“Yes,” Buffy arched and moaned as two fingers thrust then curled inside her as he began suckling on the taut nub of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

Her hips were rising and falling frantically in time with the twisting plunging thrusts of his fingers, her hands were now gripping his shoulders, her feet were pressed flat on the bed to give her more force on the upward thrusts of her pelvis and the most arousing whimpers and cries and breathless moans were pouring from her lips.

As he began pushing her over the edge into climax Spike raised his head to watch her face contort in the throws of passion and had to fight hard to keep from following her into that bliss.

He managed by biting the inside of his mouth hard and moving his gaze to study a painting on the wall above the bed for a minute before focusing on his lover again. With practiced ease he calmed her body from orgasm, easing the spasms of her muscles with soothing sounds and touches, while keeping the fires inside her stoked for more.

When her eyelids fluttered open and he met her slumberous green gaze he made his way up her body to slide his throbbing length into her quim.

Her eyes stayed partially open and looking into his as he used the fingers of his right hand in tandem with his driving thrusts to push her toward another quick release that he quickly followed with a sharp cry and a flood of hot cum gushing into her welcoming depths.

~*~*~

Nearly an hour later, in a reversal of their roles from the previous night, Buffy had Spike lying flat on his back with his strong arms tucked firmly under his head.

He was using the elevation given his head by those arms to watch her dainty yet oh so strong fingers stroke over his chest and washboard abs while her mouth leisurely explored both sides of his neck with some special attention to his Adam’s apple. She then suckled her way along his shoulders before sinking her teeth lightly into the muscle of his upper arms.

“Hey now,” he said in an injured tone, “watch those chompers.”

His full lower lip extended in an exaggerated pout, which she rolled her eyes and reluctantly smiled at before gently sucking the lip between both of hers as her fingernails raked over his pecs.

“Did I tell you what to do when it was your turn?” she nipped at his lip with a smile before pulling away.

“I do recall, and I quote you, luv, ‘Spike, eat me,’ being said at one point. That qualifies as telling me what to do now dunnit?” he reminded her with a half smile and arched brow.

“Well, yeah, if ya wanna get all literal on me,” she pouted then grinned wickedly. “Want me to return the favor and eat you?”

“Figured you were getting to that on your own, but if it wasn’t on the agenda you’d best put it there.”

Suddenly her expression grew serious as she moved to straddle his stomach and bent to take his face into her hands. She stared into his eyes for a long moment and opened her mouth to say something, but now sound came out so she closed it again then pressed her face against his neck.

“Why are you getting weepy on me now?” he pushed back her hair and turned her face to his again.

“I’m not getting weepy,” she denied with a few rapid blinks of her watering eyes. “I was thinking how I’ve never had anything like this before you. Joking, laughing, playing, talking in addition to the … sex … with a guy,” she sniffled delicately and pressed her face back to his neck. “I never told you how much I loved that and I just realized now how much I missed it and I just know I never would have been able to have it again with anyone else and I never would have been this happy again,” she sniffled again and sat upright with her hands quickly wiping away the hint of moisture that had fallen to her cheeks. “I am not getting weepy, though. I’m just saying, is all.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered before pulling her down for a quick kiss then sitting her back up with a gleam in his eyes. “Now, Buffy,” he ran his fingers through her hair and wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, “eat me.”

“Mmm,” she said after her surprised laugh trailed off, “now there’s my bossy little blondie bear.”

“Nothing little about me, as well you know, pet,” he groaned as she shifted further down his body and pressed her mouth to his stomach, “and if you start calling me that horrible name, I’ll call this off.”

“Oh, but it’s such a good name for you,” she looked up into his eyes as her tongue circled his belly button. “You’re all blonde and cuddly like a cute widdle teddy bear,” she maintained eye contact as her mouth moved lower, “I just can’t believe Harmony thought of it before me.”

“Oh, you’re a bloody riot tonight,” he rolled his eyes and groaned comically.

“I thought it was pretty funny,” she smiled broadly and settled between his legs while running her tongue along the length of his shaft to give him another reason to groan. “Are we done talking now?” she asked after licking every inch of his hard cock.

“I think,” he rocked his hips forward to nudge the tip of his erection against her smiling lips, “there are better things we could do with your mouth.”

Her hand curled firmly around the base of his shaft as she obeyed his silent command and pushed back his foreskin to suck the bulbous head of his cock into her mouth.

She pulled in her cheeks and applied strong suction to the tip while her tongue rasped over his sensitive flesh before she released him with a smacking pop of her lips to ask, “That what ya had in mind?”

“If all you’re gonna do is play with it, I’m taking it back,” he warned with his hands gripping his forearms firmly under his platinum blonde head.

“You like me playing with it so hush,” she ran her hand up and down his shaft and flicked her tongue over the tip while looking into his eyes.

“I love your playing with it, but if you don’t stop soon I’ll take you over my knee and rosy that lovely little bottom of yours,” he threatened thickly.

“This bottom,” she pulled her knees up under her to push her butt up in the air and wiggle it. “Promises, promises,” she murmured before taking him into her mouth.

“That’s it, luv,” he forgot about the no touch policy they’d started with and moved his hands to tangle his fingers in her soft blonde hair. “Take it all in.”

Slowly, giving her muscles time to adjust around his length, she took inch after inch of his thick cock into her mouth until her nose was buried in the brown hairs curling around the base and the tip was buried deep in her throat.

A deep guttural sound of satisfaction was torn from his throat at being held so deeply in her mouth that became a protesting groan as she began pulling back up. Before his hands could move to press her back down she moved her lips that way of her own accord and started bobbing her head up and down on his shaft with a gentle suction.

“Oh, Christ, don’t stop,” he practically begged when she removed her mouth to draw in a few deep breaths.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she panted with a few firm strokes of her hand on his shaft before returning it to her mouth.

This time she deep throated him faster, sucking harder, massaging his base with her hand whenever her mouth moved upward and squeezing his balls gently with her other hand.

He panted and groaned and uttered coarse words of encouragement at her every action. His hips began thrusting up to force himself deeper in her throat on every downstroke and she began sucking as hard as she could upon him as his balls began tightening in her hand.

Just before he starting cumming she dragged her lips up to hold just the head in her waiting mouth while using both her hands to stroke and squeeze his shaft.

With a shout that was her name he exploded under her ministrations, filling her mouth with creamy hot liquid faster than she could gulp it down. She continued to suck his juices from the pulsating shaft until it finally stopped spurting in her mouth and began going soft in her hands.

Buffy swallowed one last time then removed her lips and rested her forehead against his abdomen until her breathing steadied. Once it was back to something like normal she raised a hand to wipe the moisture from her mouth and chin then looked into his eyes as she started licking her hand.

“You are,” he sat up and moved his face to nearly touching hers, “the sexiest creature I have ever seen in my entire existence,” he declared passionately before claiming her lips.

Awakening slowly Buffy cringed at the ultra bright sunlight shining into the room and slid from the bed to stumble toward the bathroom.

She re-emerged a few minutes later wearing the silky satin black robe that had been hanging in the small room and, stifling a yawn, made her way over to the bags she still hadn’t unpacked to pick out clothing for her and Spike both.

“Don’t know why you’re bothering, pet,” her loved said from the bed and she turned to see him propped up against the headboard watching her. “I have my way we won’t be needing clothes for a week or two.”

“A week or two?” she moved to his side and gave him a kiss. “Ah,” she pulled back with a slight frown, “you’ve got morning breath.”

“First you complained about my blood breath and now your scrunching up your cute little nose and call it morning breath, a fella just can’t win breathing around you,” he hauled her back into the bed and kissed her deeply despite said morning breath.

“Go brush your teeth,” she ordered after they broke apart. “You’ve probably got other things to take care of while you’re in there,” she gave him a look that said she really didn’t want to think of him dealing with the calls of nature.

“Again with the scrunching of the nose,” he smiled and flicked the tip of her nose with a finger before rising from the bed to stretch and scratch around his belly button.

She laid there admiring the sunlight touching on his skin and sighed happily at the realization that he’d be safe from those rays now without having to worry about turning into a big pile of dust from the exposure.

“Oh, you can even tan,” she thought aloud causing Spike to pause just outside the bathroom.

“What was that?” he asked with a look over his shoulder.

“Just thinking aloud,” she gave him an innocent smile and waved him on into the bathroom.

Once he was shut in the other room she hopped back up went back to getting them clothes to venture out of the room at some point during the day for food and to check up on Dawn.

In the shopping bag containing the black leather pants she was wanting to wear herself she found the desired garment as well as the infamous amulet that her lover was now bound to. Distracted by the find she took the necklace in hand and sat down on the edge of the bed studying it.

As it had the first moment she had seen it dangling from Angel’s hand, the item looked perfectly harmless. She knew from still painful experience that it was anything but that.

She stared at the sunlight touching the crystal and silver of the pendant and closed her eyes on the memory of it hanging against Spike’s chest and shooting the sun’s rays out into the Hellmouth to destroy the evil place and take him down with it.

The bed sank next to her and arms wrapped around her while gentle hands pressed her face against bare chest and it was only when Spike began rocking her gently that she realized she was sobbing at the memory.

“I’m here, baby,” he assured her firmly his hands moving over her back and his face pressed into her hair. “It’s all over and I’m here. You won’t ever get rid of me again.”

Unable to speak she just wrapped her arms around him and cried until the reality of his heart beating under her ear and his body warming hers sank end, making her forget what she was crying about in favor of just savoring the feel of him holding her.

“Better now?” he gave her a squeeze and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

She nodded then pulled away with a smile to dry her face on the blanket he was offering her.

“Just … seeing that,” she glanced at the necklace she’d dropped on the mattress at some point, “it brought all the bad back.”

“Don’t exactly give me a happy to see it, either, but it did bring me back,” he picked the slightly heavy item up by its chunky silver chain.

“It took you away from me,” she said quietly.

“Never easy saving the world. You know that, pet,” he tossed the amulet aside and took her face in his hands. “We both sacrificed ourselves to do it and something brought us back. Something more than Red’s magic and some hocus pocus with that bauble.”

“Love conquers all,” she turned her head left and right to kiss his palms.

“I was trying for something a bit less corny, but if you insist that’ll do,” he kissed her lightly and tried to lower her back onto the mattress for a nice afternoon tumble.

“Mmm, Spike,” she pulled back when he pushed the robe off her shoulders and began kissing down her chest. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Course we have time for it,” he protested as she tried to wriggle out from under him.

“We need to check on Dawn and eat something,” Buffy argued and slid from the bed.

“I’ve got something for you if you’re feeling peckish, pet,” he leered at her while reclining on the bed, comfortable in his nudity.

“Uh-huh,” she rolled her eyes at him and tossed some clean clothes his way. “I need something more substantial,” she turned away to get her own clothes and hide her smile, “to eat today.”

“I’ll give you substantial,” he growled from behind her before tossing her onto the bed and joining her there.

“Spike, I’m serious, we’ve got to get ready,” she protested weakly then inspiration struck. “We need to shower.”

“Shower, eh?” he smirked down at her. “I scrub your back …”

“And I’ll scrub yours,” they leapt from the bed and raced toward the bathroom.

~*~*~

“Would you behave?” Buffy playfully elbowed Spike as he stood behind her in the crowded elevator with his fingers slipping discreetly under the back of the skirt he’d talked her into wearing.

The warning glare she sent over her shoulder was met with a look of complete innocence and confusion as to what she was talking about.

They arrived at the floor Angel’s office was located and as she went to step out of the elevator Spike pinched the soft flesh of her butt as exposed by the thong she wore, causing her to squeak in surprise before spinning around and smacking his shoulder.

“Behave,” she ordered with a wag of her finger though the effect was spoiled by the smile and eye roll his continued look of utter innocence got from her.

“Yes, mum,” he promised with an unrepentant grin.

He moved up behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist and ushered her out of the elevator doors that one nice worker (obviously not one of the firm’s lawyers) had held open for them. As they exited the lift and began moving toward the CEO’s offices Spike dipped his head to her neck and nudged aside the scarf she was wearing to expose the vivid lovebite she was trying to hide from her ex-boyfriend.

“Stop that,” she pulled away and straightened the silky material to where it had been.

“Don’t see why you’re bothering,” her lover arched his scarred eyebrow, “he’s gonna smell me all over you, luv.”

“He’s gotta be used to that by now, but we don’t need to rub it in his face that we’ve been - ”

“Shagging our brains out in the bed and bathroom the poof gave you for your unexpected stay?” he interrupted.

“Let’s just go find out where Dawn is,” Buffy sighed and reluctantly approached Harmony’s desk.

“He’s free for the next hour, but in a really bad mood so enter at your own risk,” the blonde vampire informed them without looking up from her computer.

“Maybe I should go see him alone?” the slayer suggested upon hearing that.

“Not bloody likely,” Spike firmly ruled that option out and started toward the office.

The book that suddenly hit him in the back of his platinum blonde head surprised the couple completely and Buffy instantly whirled around looked for the guilty party and something to kill them with.

“Ha,” Harmony stood triumphantly at her desk as he ex rubbed at the injury. “Not so transparent now, are you?”

Without hesitation Buffy leapt at the vampire, tackling her to the floor behind her desk and reaching for a pencil to jab into the other blonde’s shriveled heart.

“Now now, luv,” Spike was quick to pull his girlfriend back, “I had that coming.”

“You’re protecting her?” the slayer jumped up off the whimpering secretary and stared at her lover incredulously.

“Not at all,” he assured her. “Stake her if you must. Just saying she didn’t mean any real harm by it,” his hand went to the lump forming at the back of his head. “Actually, that bloody hurt. Give me the pencil.”

“I already told you, Buffy, killing the employees is one of my perks and if anything I’m gonna promote the girl for what she did,” Angel stepped in suddenly to help the vampire up. “You may want to go hide somewhere for the rest of the day,” he told her quietly.

“I wouldn’t have dusted her,” Buffy pouted.

“I bloody would’ve,” Spike glared after the vampire who fled in compliance with her boss’s suggestion.

“What do you want?” Angel moved back toward his office, ignoring the couple as much as he could.

“Dawn’s not in her room,” the slayer said as they followed the vampire into the room.

“Willow and Harris have taken her out for the day,” Angel picked a piece of paper up off his desk and handed it to Buffy. “Those are the numbers you can reach them at.”

“Excellent,” Eve said as she strode calmly into the office behind them all and smiled at the trio before focusing on the vampire. “Have you asked them yet?”

“We’re not discussing that again,” he informed the woman with a warning glare.

“Asked them what?” Spike asked curiously.

“Really, Angel,” the assistant ignored the blonde and moved to stand before her boss, “what’s the harm in asking?”

“Do you want specific answers to that or hypotheticals?”

“Fine,” the brunette turned to the two blondes watching the byplay with a bit of interest. “Buffy, Spike, on behalf of Wolfram & Hart I would like to offer you both positions within the company.”

“You can’t do that,” Angel glared at the woman who smiled back at him.

“But I can and I just did,” she told him before looking back at the couple. “Interested?”

Buffy blinked at the woman looked at Angel who was staring back at her and mouthing the order to “say no” then looked at Spike.

Spike saw the other man’s frantic attempts to dissuade the slayer from expressing any kind of interest and smiled broadly.

“What kind of positions are we talking about, luv?” he moved forward and threw a casual arm around Eve’s shoulder. “And let’s not forget the details like salary, hours and benefits,” he gave her a look that said those three things had better be generous in his favor.

“Spike,” Angel all but growled.

“Now, Peaches,” the blonde man smirked at the vampire’s anger, “I’ve gotta think about these things. I’m not all vampy anymore so I’ve got to earn a living somehow to keep the missus happy,” he extended an arm toward Buffy and the slayer instantly slid under it.

“Missus?” the other man gulped.

“We don’t have a ring yet,” Buffy smiled and hugged her lover, “but we’re gonna pick one up today.”

“Ring?”

“Definitely. A big one, too,” Spike kissed the fingers of Buffy’s left hand and hid a smile at his former grandsire’s reactions. “Don’t want any guys thinking they can poach on my territory,” blue eyes glared over at brown ones for a moment. “Want the world to know she’s my wife.”

“Wife?” Angel croaked out.

“Not yet,” Buffy informed her ex. “We’ve got lots of arrangements to make first and we really should go find Dawn to include her in this. She’s gonna flip.”

“Will, please tell me this is you again,” Xander looked from the ring Buffy was proudly displaying for them to the redhead standing next to him.

“Nope, not me,” Willow smiled and took the slayer’s hand to admire the diamond solitaire on her ring finger. “This is so much better than that icky skull thing from last time.”

“That was a bloody nice ring, thank you very much,” Spike thought of the silver ring he’d given Buffy under the influence of the witch’s ‘thy will be done’ spell. “Did I ever get that back from you, pet?” he asked the blonde on his lap. “Can’t remember what happened to it.”

“Of course I gave it back,” she thought for a minute. “I’m pretty sure I did, but either way it’s gone.”

“What’s next?” Dawn asked excitedly. “When’s the wedding and can I be maid of honor? Or at least a bridesmaid with a nice dress not some icky fluffy thing a baby would wear?”

“Fluffy dresses are very pretty for weddings,” Buffy said then gave Spike a wink before continuing with feigned seriousness. “You’d be so pretty in a nice tangerine gown with lots of taffeta and ruffles.”

“You’re really not as cute as you think you are,” the teenager rolled her eyes and picked up her soda from the coffee table in Xander’s living room.

“Hush, nibblit,” Spike nuzzled his fiancée’s neck. “She’s the cutest little bird I’ve ever seen.”

“Aww,” the slayer smiled and turned in his lap to give him a quick kiss.

That soon became two quick kisses then one long kiss then one long deep too passionate of public situations kiss.

“Déjà vu,” Xander muttered as he averted his eye from the loudly smooching couple. “I hate déjà vu. It’s that horrible spell all over again. Wills,” he said pleadingly to the Wiccan, “you’ve gotta be able to make this stop again.”

“I think it’s sweet,” the redhead sighed softly. “After all they’ve been through to be able to have that kind of happiness without some silly messed up magic from me. They really should have gotten married then.”

“Dear God, woman, don’t say such things!”

“They’re only acting like this to freak you out,” Dawn said with a grin.

“And it’s working like a charm,” the brunette went to his fridge for a beer. “I may never be able to have sex again.”

“You’re hopeless,” the teenager rolled her eyes at his antics, knowing he too was happy for the couple.

“Are we gonna have to separate you two?” Willow asked to appease Xander when the couple parted for breath.

“I wouldn’t try it, Glinda,” Spike warned with a glance in the redhead’s direction.

“Can we get down to details now?” Dawn asked with a sigh. “We’ve got a lot to do if we’re gonna have this wedding anytime soon.”

“We could have that daylight ceremony now like you wanted before,” Spike told the slayer.

“I still kinda want Giles to give me away,” Buffy looked at her fiancee. “Is that ok?”

“I might not really like the man, but I always understood his motives, luv. He was just looking out for you.”

“We still want to avoid a church ceremony.”

“And no Bette bloody Midler playing at the reception,” the former vampire smirked at that particular memory.

“For the last time,” Buffy glared at him, “that was the spell talking. Now that you remind me, though,” she got to her feet with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Did you ever know that you’re my hero,” she began singing to Spike, “and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings.”

“Of all the people in all the world,” Dawn watched with the same wide eyed horror as everyone else in the room as the slayer continued to ‘sing,’ “the monks chose her to be my sister.”

~*~*~

“So are you gonna take it?” Willow asked as they took a pizza break from the ‘wedding plans.’

“It’s an excellent opportunity and with the whole chosen ‘one’ thing of my slayer gig over I don’t have many career options at the moment,” Buffy replied regarding the Wolfram & Hart offer they were discussing. “Not to mention the difficulties Spike would have trying to get a normal job elsewhere.”

“Only you would consider working as interdimensional security guards for the evil empire your ex-vampire boyfriend is now running a ‘normal job,’” Xander took a big bite of his pizza and shook his head a bit.

“I’ve been giving this some, thought,” the redhead pretended the man hadn’t spoken, “and I think I have another solution. One that doesn’t involve involving yourself in the shady operations of a corporation like Wolfram & Hart.”

“Let’s hear it,” the slayer encouraged as she watched Spike finish off his fifth slice of pizza.

“Seem to have worked up an appetite,” he gave her a leering wink and reached for another piece.

“Professional Scoobies,” Willow announced with a smile.

“Huh?” Buffy, Dawn, Spike and Xander all looked at the woman.

“We pick up here where Angel’s business is leaving off. Do things just like we did in Sunnydale only demanding payment for them this time. The old gang back together again, fighting demons and saving the world.”

“I’ve rather had it with saving the world, Red,” Spike put down his half eaten slice of pizza and sighed.

“Yeah. I’m really pretty happy to be out of the whole slayer gig myself,” Buffy agreed.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” the Wiccan argued. “And we don’t have to save the world if you don’t want to. We can leave those cases to Angel and focus on the little things. A demon terrorizing here or a vampire nest bringing down property values there and we can offer protection services and my witchy ways can be very profitable. People pay good money for good mojo.”

“We don’t exactly have the money to start a business,” the slayer protested.

“You didn’t exactly have the money to travel the globe and have your little pow wows with the new slayers of the world, yet you pulled that off,” Xander joined the argument.

“I had to guilt trip my father big time for a lot of that money and the rest came from Giles who isn’t likely to chip in on this.”

“He agreed pretty easy to coming here for this whole wedding thing and he always agrees to whatever you want,” Willow persisted.

“It’s curiosity and disbelief at the idea of ‘human’ Spike bringing him to town for the wedding, not an indulgence of my every whim,” Buffy argued.

“Ok, think about this then,” the redhead switched tactics and focused on Spike. “Would you rather be annoying Angel as one of his employees and ultimately having to take orders from him or tick him off by being out there justifiably slaying his firm’s clients?”

“Well when you put it that way …” the blonde man sat up with a grin. “Let’s hear more of your plan.”

~*~*~

“Ok, so we need to locate Clem to serve as your best man,” Dawn began running down the to do list she’d somehow gotten placed in charge of making, “find a suitable non-hallowed ground for the ceremony. Get the marriage license, send out invites to all the guests, shop for dresses and tuxes, find a place for the reception and arrange for caterers and entertainment all within one month?” the teenager scoffed at her older sister’s delusions then went on to the next list. “For the business, we need to scout out a suitable base of operations, preferably somewhere we can actually live as well as work. Then we hit up Giles for funding when he gets into town and start working on establishing our reputation. That should be pretty easy to do with a slayer and now human formerly notorious slayer slaying vampire who’ve saved the world on a few occasions and a witch that tried to destroy the world on one occasion running the company,” she ignored the looks directed her way. “Finally we have … ewww,” she scrunched up her nose at the next page she turned to then tossed the papers at her sister. “Who made that list?!”

“Oh,” Buffy scanned the sheet of paper responsible for her sibling’s reaction. “Oops. I was just doodling.”

“What’s it say?” Spike snatched away the paper his fiancée was trying to crumple up and throw away. “No bloody way,” his eyes practically popped out of his head over one item on the list. “I’ve agreed not to start up with the smoking in this body and I don’t mind your wanting me to add a little color now that the sun won’t turn me into a bloody pile of ashes. Hell, I’m even letting the poof attend the wedding, but I draw the line at having my bits cut.”

“Honey, it’s nothing to be afraid of. They just nip the tip. I know in your time circumcision was unheard of or really painful, but now it’s a very common easy process and the results are much more hygienic,” she assured him as the others reacted to the new topic with varying degrees of distaste.

“Typical bloody female,” the blonde man rose to pace the apartment. “You get yourself a perfectly fine specimen of a male and start trying to change him. Not this mate, though, oh no,” he wagged a finger at her. “I’ve let you get away with a bloody lot in our relationship, but I’m putting my foot down on this. Anyone comes near my willie with a sharp instrument and I’ll snap their bloody neck.”

“Now, Spike, do you really think I’d ever suggest it if it was a bad thing?” Buffy rose and approached him to slide a hand over the front of his jeans. “I’m just as attached to this as you are,” she whispered into his ear and continued to stroke him through his pants.

“Whoa! Stop that, right now,” Xander practically screamed in panic as he clearly heard the sound of a zipper being lowered.

Buffy froze at the reminder that they weren’t alone and slowly removed her hand from inside Spike pants allowing her smirking boyfriend to carefully zip his fly back up.

“Get a room,” Dawn groaned as the newly engaged couple exchanged a series of intimate laughing glances at having been caught misbehaving.

“Don’t even think of using mine,” Xander jumped quickly to his feet and moved to bar a door to the right.

“Relax, you nit, I wouldn’t wanna sully my bride-to-be by shagging on your linens,” Spike sat back down and pulled Buffy into his lap. “Now, luv,” he picked up the list again, “what’s this about a pregnancy test?”

“Oh, we won’t need that for a few weeks, but you’re gonna have to wear condoms until we know for sure last night didn’t … you know, get the job done already … and then I’ll go on the pill,” she explained.

“What for?” he frowned. “Thought you liked the idea of a whipper snapper.”

“I do,” she gave him a series of slow soft kisses until the frown was gone. “We just need to put off starting our happy little family until we’re actually married and earning a living to support children and most importantly have a nice little place of our own to live in. But back to the circumcision, it really isn’t something to argue about. Xander’s circumcised and he survived it without complaint or trauma. Are you gonna tell me that he can handle it, but you can’t?”

“Oh, sure, strike at the bloody ego when your touchy feely ploys don’t work to get your way,” he groaned. “Fine, I’ll do, but you’re gonna owe me big time.”

“I think,” she raised his right hand and licked his index finger, “I can make it worth your while,” she drew the digit into her mouth and sucked on it for a few minutes.

“Ok, all kidding aside,” Xander looked at Dawn and Willow, “that ain’t right.”

“Maybe I should try a spell reversal spell,” Willow said slowly as she watched the couple make out in a slightly sickening lovey dovey fashion. “Just in case.”

Four weeks later Spike sighed in exasperation and rolled his eyes toward Buffy as Giles slowly circled him with a suspicious look on his face.

“He really is human now,” Dawn assured the weary Englishman who continued circling.

“Oh, come on,” the blonde man snapped when the former watcher suddenly pulled a cross from his coat and lunged toward him with it. “We’re out in the bloody sunshine and I’m not crumbling into a big pile o’ ashes, you nit, isn’t that proof enough I’m not a bloody vampire anymore?”

“He’s right, this is silly,” Buffy sighed and looked around the busy airport parking lot. “People are starting to look at us funny.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Rupert removed his glasses and gave them a few quick wipes with the hem of his shirt before putting them back on. “We can continue this in a more private place.”

“There’s nothing to continue, you prat,” Spike declared as he whipped open the driver’s side door of the black Lexus he’d ‘borrowed’ from Angel, without the poof’s exact knowledge of the loan, and climbed behind the wheel with a huff.

Buffy gave her former watcher a warning glare over the roof of the vehicle before getting in the passenger seat. Reluctantly, Giles obeyed the tugging of the teenager next to him and got in the back seat of the car.

After a few failed attempts at starting a conversation on the drive to the apartment they’d found to rent in the city Dawn sank back against the seat with a sigh.

When they arrived at their destination Spike leapt out and went to the trunk to get the other man’s bags out. As he turned to lead the others who’d stepped from the vehicle into the building, he blinked at seeing Giles right in his face then dropped the man’s bags when he got an unexpecting dousing with holy water.

“Ah, it burns, it burns. I’m melting … melting,” the former vampire said sarcastically before slamming his fist into the former watcher’s jaw.

“You both better get this out of your systems now,” Buffy helped the older man up then gave them both warning glares. “I will not have this spoiling my wedding.”

“I believe I’m satisfied now,” Rupert tested his jaw and picked up his bags. “Still hits like a bloody vampire, though.”

“Oh, that’s his superhuman strength. It’s kind of a leftover from his vampy days,” Dawn took the Englishman’s arm and began leading him into the apartment complex.

“This is gonna be a bloody picnic,” Spike groaned as Buffy slid her arms around his waist and followed them inside.

“He’ll be fine now,” she assured him with a kiss on the cheek. “If he isn’t, you can kill him after the reception.”

“Promise?” he stopped in his tracks and gave her a hopeful grin.

“Only,” she warned, “if he interferes with our wedding. Nothing is going to spoil tomorrow for us.”

~*~*~

“I brought Zima,” Andrew announced as he burst into the apartment that evening for the dinner they had planned.

“I brought geekboy,” Xander sighed as he followed the young man inside and shut the door behind them. “Sorry. He heard us talking about this and I couldn’t shake him,” the brunette gave Buffy a hug then returned Dawn’s welcome.

“Oh my,” Giles said as he entered the living room and saw the unexpected arrival.

“Not to worry, pops,” Spike gave the older man a ‘friendly’ slap on the shoulder, “I’ve got lots of alcohol for the evening.”

“I’ll have a scotch, please,” the former watcher said.

“Sure thing,” Buffy rushed to get the drink when she say her soon to be husband open his mouth to make some snarky comment.

She went to the kitchen to get his drink and make sure dinner, all nicely prepared by a restaurant down the street, was still hot. When she returned to the room she found Andrew and Dawn bickering over some TV show while the men in the room did anything but talk to one another.

“Best bring the bottle, luv,” Spike told her dryly.

“No,” she said firmly then turned at a knock on the door. “I’ll not have anyone hung over for the ceremony.”

“Ceremony’s not until tomorrow night so peaches can attend,” her fiancée argued. “I say all of us, with the exception of nibblit and Tucker’s brother there, get sloshed.”

With a glare at the suggestion she opened the door and welcomed Kennedy and Willow inside.

The Wiccan went to give Giles a slightly awkward hug before giving the slayer a big smile.

“So what’s for dinner? And, no offense, but please tell me you didn’t cook.”

“I’m really not that bad anymore,” the blonde woman pouted slightly. “I’ve been practicing and with edible results. But dinner tonight is from the place on the corner.”

“So when we eating?” Xander sat up at that bit of news.

“Waiting for Clem to get here,” Spike explained.

“Can I get you all anything to drink?” Buffy stood in hostess mode and asked.

“I’ve got Zima,” Andrew shook the bottle he was drinking from at the others then raised the brown paper bag that held his supply of the beverage.

“Shut your gob about the bloody Zima,” Spike ordered causing the young man to give him a wounded look that had the former vampire rolling his blue eyes and wondering what the hell he’d done to deserve these twits forever in his life.

“Stop it,” his fiancée scolded him.

“What’d I do?” he assumed a look of innocence.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Buffy moved and dropped a kiss on his lips then whispered, “they’re our friends and you’d be lost without them. Admit it.”

“Lost is a gross exaggeration,” he pulled her into his lap. “I’ll concede to never being bored with them around, if I must, but I can think of much better ways for us to spend our time.”

“Dear God,” Giles said suddenly as he watched them snuggling and kissing in the chair, oblivious to their guests. “Willow - ”

“It’s not me or any kind of magic,” the redhead interrupted him quickly. “I’ve already checked. They’re just …” she looked at the soon to be newlyweds and smiled, “in love.”

“Sorry, it was just - ”

“Déjà vu. I know. I felt the same way,” Xander interrupted the man this time and rose to his feet. “Let’s go find that scotch.”

~*~*~

An hour later Clem had arrived and the whole gang was lingering over the remains of their meal.

“I still don’t see why I can’t have a glass of wine. One glass won’t kill me and kids in Europe drink from birth,” Dawn continued her meal long argument as everyone around her was showing signs of drunkenness.

“You’re a minor and this is America. No alcohol until you’re 21,” Buffy wagged an unsteady finger at her sibling.

“That isn’t fair. I’m not a minor, I’m an ancient mystical key trapped in a teenaged body. Just one glass?” she whined.

“About this business venture,” Giles pushed his empty plate aside and interrupted the little byplay. “You say you’re already taking on cases?”

“Yup,” the blonde woman said with a smacking pop on the ‘p’ sound. “It’s how we were able to move into our own place.”

“What kind of work have you had so far?”

“Bodyguarding’s what paid the best,” Spike spoke up from the end of the table. “Done a few vamp and demon removals, but the protection biz is where it’s at.”

“How much have you saved from these jobs and how much more do you need to actually launch the business?” Rupert asked with interest.

“Saved about half of what we need,” the blonde man answered. “Could probably earn the other half in a few months.”

“Oh,” the older man finished his glass of scotch, “and here I was thinking I was being softened up to fund the venture.”

“Well, mate, if you wanna chip in …” Spike smirked and trailed off.

“You guys as so muth fun,” Andrew suddenly exclaimed with a slight slur for consuming three Zima’s. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“You should really go away so we can miss you, too,” Dawn told the young man sitting beside her snidely.

“Dawnie,” Andrew turned toward the teenager with a goofy grin. “Did I ever tell you how pretty your hair is?” he reached out to touch it then wrapped his arms around her neck. “I love you.”

Willow and Xander choked on the food they were eating while Giles, Kennedy and Spike all spit out the drinks they’d been taking as Buffy just stared at the geek now kissing her little sister in absolute disbelief. Clem continued to just smile and nod contentedly at everything around him.

“I love Xander, too,” Andrew said after Dawn had succeeded in frantically pushing him away from her. “But,” he turned to stare dreamily at the man he spoke of, “I’m not supposed to talk about that. ‘It was just a one time thing, geekboy,’” the blonde made quotation marks in the air to indicate he was quoting someone, “all fifty times we’ve done it.”

“He’s just drunk,” Xander laughed weakly then rose and threw a hand over the geek’s mouth. “I think we’ve had a bit too much fun tonight. Really should be taking this puppy home before he gets sick,” the brunette hauled his ‘roommate’ to his feet and began pushing him toward the door. “Great dinner and I’ll see you all at the wedding tomorrow.”

“I really,” Andrew grabbed onto the kitchen doorway where they were gathered and resisted the man pulling him away, “really do love all you people. You’re,” he sniffled, “you’re all my friends. The bestest friends a guy could have.”

It was silent for just a moment after the duo left then Giles removed with glasses with an awkward clearing of his throat and Buffy snickered. Then Willow giggled. Then they all were laughing at the little revelation from Tucker’s brother.

“Did you see Harris’s face when the git said that,” Spike laughed across the table at his fiancée. “And me without a camera.”

~*~*~

“Stupid bloody idea, this is,” the groom-to-be complained as he was being ushered out of the apartment to spend the night elsewhere.

“It’s bad luck to see the bride on her wedding day before the wedding ceremony,” Buffy said firmly, “or something like that. You can’t stay here tonight.”

“It’s a bloody stupid superstition, luv,” he argued and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“We’ve already talked this over and both agreed that this is the way it’s gonna be,” she removed his arms, gave him a kiss then pushed him toward Clem who was waiting at the door. “I love you and tomorrow night we’ll be alllll alone together as Mr. and Mrs. Spike.”

“And then we won’t be leaving bed for a bloody week,” he growled before moving back in for another kiss then reluctantly picking up his suitcase.

“We won’t have to. We’ll have room service,” she gave him a happy smile as he and Clem turned to leave.

She moved to shut and lock the door after them only to jump in surprise when it was suddenly pushed back open.

“Just one quickie before I go,” Spike said as he stepped back inside.

“We’ve already had three of those and Giles may never sober up again from overhearing us,” Buffy chuckled a bit then firmly pushed her impatient bridegroom out the door. “We have to wait until tomorrow.”

He stomped off muttering all the way about ‘bloody stupid superstitions’ and his having become ‘a damned Nancy-boy again.’ His soon to be missus listened with a smile on her face before stumbling off to bed to sleep alone for one last night in her life.

Spike paced the lobby of the Hyperion hotel in his neatly pressed black tuxedo rental and wondered how bloody much longer it would be before this thing was started.

“There’s no reason to be so nervous. She’s not about to run out on you or anything,” Xander said watching the man pace, “unfortunately.”

“I’m not nervous, you nit, I’m wanting to get to the bloody honeymoon already,” the groom snapped. “Why don’t you go find your boyfriend and stop bugging me?”

“He’s – I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m fully heterosexual male here. I even work in construction with all kinds of manly tools. No boyfriend for me,” the brunette jumped up and began pacing nervously.

“Fifty times in three months sounds like a relationship to me, but can’t blame you for wanting to keep that git in the closet,” the blonde smirked as the other man stomped outside to the garden where the guests were gathering for the ceremony.

“I always wondered about him,” Angel said watching the Scooby go. “Never would’ve imagined him with such a spaz, though.”

“Sorry he didn’t pick you, peaches?”

“Now, now,” Clem entered tugging at the lapels of his tuxedo jacket, “none of that. This is your wedding day and there’s one lovely little slayer getting ready upstairs that’ll start chopping heads off if you two start your bickering.”

“D’ya see her?” Spike asked his best man eagerly. “We ready to get this bloody show started?”

“All the guests have arrived and Dawnie assures me they’re just putting on the finishing touches so I’d say it’s time to take our places,” the demon said with an easy smile.

Without further ado the groom made his way outside to the garden with Angel and Clem following behind. The brooding vampire went to stand with Fred, Gunn, Lorne and Wesley off to the side while the demon moved with Spike to take their places at the front of the gathering. Seeing that Xander, who had been chosen as an usher for the ceremony, urged everyone to be seated then rushed to take his place beside Clem.

“So we’re starting now?” the brunette asked.

“I bloody hope so,” Spike ran a finger inside the tight collar of his white shirt and kept his attention focused on the doors his bride would be walking through.

Andrew turned his attention and the camcorder he held in that direction so as not to miss any of the actual ceremony. He had lots of footage of all the guests arriving. Rona and Vi were the only former slayers in training who had helped defeat the First in attendance, besides Kennedy, due to the way the group had scattered after winning the battle. Principal Wood was there with Faith, whose Gunn had managed to get overturned even faster than expected.

Hank Summers was absent, as he had been all the major events in his daughter’s life, but he’d sent a nice big check for the couple to enjoy as a wedding gift.

It was a small, intimate gathering under the starry night sky with a rather uncomfortable minister present to perform the nuptials.

Finally there was movement in the lobby and moments later Willow, clad in a green satin dress and carrying a bouquet of white roses, stepped out into the garden with a nod for Andrew to cue the music.

As the smiling redhead made her way down the makeshift aisle Dawn stepped through the doors and seconds later the wedding march began to play bringing everyone to their feet to watch for the bride’s arrival. Willow was standing in position at the minister’s side and the teenager was halfway down the aisle when Buffy emerged from the hotel on her former watcher’s arm.

She was a vision in white satin and lace with a frothy veil doing little to hide her glowing face as she looked up to meet her soon to be husband’s gaze.

Spike’s heart lurched emotionally in his chest as their eyes met then he frowned when her eyes went wide with horror and focused on something behind him. When his bride suddenly removed her veil and put it carefully aside along with her bouquet before turning to run back into the hotel, he looked over his shoulder to see what the hell she was going on about.

“My invitation must have been lost in the mail,” Drusilla said in her most childish voice. “Luckily, Miss Edith told me all about your li’l party. I hope you don’t mind my bringing a few guests.”

Everyone froze as they turned to see the woman standing behind the groom. Recognizing his childe Angel cursed then ran into the hotel to raid his weapons chest.

“Oh bloody hell,” the groom groaned as his ex-lover vamped out and lunged toward him.

Vampires began coming at them from all directions and guests met the assailants head on despite not having thought to bring weapons to the ceremony. Clem smiled weakly and quickly moved the minister out of harms way as Xander got knocked against a wall by a vamp and Spike delivered a series of punches to keep Dru back.

“Miss Edith also said I can have my prince back now,” the dark haired vampire whispered as she got behind the blonde and tried to bite his throat.

“This is NOT happening on my wedding day,” Buffy declared as she ran back out into the garden brandishing the axe she’d gotten from inside.

With quick movements she cut off the heads of two vampires who tried to get in her way then ran forward to slam the blunt end of the weapon into Dru’s face to send the other woman flying backward.

“You couldn’t bring enough for all of us, B,” Faith admired the axe and setting for folding up one of the aluminum chairs guests had been sitting on and using it as a weapon against the two vampires attacking her.

Gunn and Wesley were fighting their way easily through the minions to join Angel in getting weapons for all as Lorne scrambled to find cover and Andrew eagerly continued to record every moment with his camera darting left and right to focus on the action.

Dawn, Fred, Giles, Kennedy, Robin, Rona and Vi followed Faith’s example and used the chairs to beat back the vampires in addition to throwing punches and kicking asses. Willow’s eyes were looking a bit black as she dispelled anyone lunging her way with a furious wave of her hand.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Spike were both fighting the crazed Drusilla who was apparently determined to turn the man back into a vampire. The two blondes kept the brunette boxed between them as they argued over who had more right to chop her head off.

“I’m the one with the axe and this is my wedding she’s ruined,” Buffy argued with a roundhouse kick to the other woman’s stomach as she against slammed the handle of the weapon into the vampire’s face.

“It’s my wedding, too, and it’s my bloody neck she trying to bite again,” Spike punched his former lover when she turned his way and continued to argue with his fiancée. “Give me the axe and I’ll let you dust all the little fledglings for spoiling your flower arrangements.”

“Who did what to my arrangements?” the bride whipped her head around with a gasp to survey the damage done to the pretty little flowers she’d had placed around the garden for the wedding.

While she was distracted Spike lunged forward to yank the axe from her relaxed grip then turned to face his sire. Angel was now distributing stakes and various sharp objects to the other slayers present and the vampires were being dusted at a rapid clip.

Buffy forgot about the stupid flowers to watch her groom face the vampire he had loved for so long.

“Why won’t you be my prince any more?” Dru asked him tearfully with her features shifting back to human as her minions were wiped out. “We had such good times you and I. You loved it - the blood, the battles, the bloodcurdling screams of all those weak little humans we fed upon. Now you’re one of them again – all weak and mortal.”

“Nothing weak about me this time, pet,” Spike raised the axe slowly and Angel was unable to watch Angelus’s beloved childe’s last moments. “And that just isn’t me anymore.”

“But it can be,” Drusilla vamped out again and moved so quickly no one was expecting it when she caught the swinging axe in one hand and knocked the blonde man back with the other. “Mummy’s here to make you all better again.”

“Like hell you are,” Buffy tackled the vampire before she could leap at the groom, straddled the brunette then looked around frantically for a stake.

“Yo, B,” Faith called out and the blonde looked up to see a big wooden stake flying through the air towards her.

Weapon in hand the bride didn’t hesitate a single second before plunging it straight through the vampire’s shriveled heart and turning the woman to gray dust beneath her.

“Dammit, slayer, it was my right to do that,” Spike complained as he got back to his feet the helped his bride to hers.

“I had just as much right to dust the bitch,” Buffy said. “Look at what she made me do to my dress.”

“What the devil was all that?” asked a shaky male voice and everyone looked around to see the minister staring back at them - wide eyed with his Bible clenched to his chest.

~*~*~

“Dearly beloved,” the minister began shakily after being assured that there would be no more interruptions. “We are gathered here today – tonight, rather - ”

“Actually,” Buffy looked from Spike to the man they stood before, “could we just skip to the important parts?”

Taking a look at the bride’s grass stained gown and the groom’s torn lapel on his tux, the man nodded eagerly and skipped ahead.

“Do you, Buffy Anne Summers, take this man, Spike,” he paused and looked up questioningly at the single name. “This man, Spike,” the minister continued nervously after getting a glare from the groom, “to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse until death shall you part?”

“I do,” she bit back a smile and thought at how unsuccessful death had been thus far at parting the.

“And do you, Spike, take this woman - ”

“I do,” the groom interrupted firmly.

Well rehearsed on this part, Clem quickly gave the minister the wedding rings before being asked. With a weak smile at the loose skinned demon, the man gave Buffy’s ring to Spike and said, “Repeat after me. ‘Buffy, with this ring, I thee wed. Take it and wear it as a symbol of all we shall share.’”

“Buffy,” Spike looked into her watery green eyes, “with this ring, I thee wed. Take it and wear it as a symbol of all we shall share,” he slid the solid gold band onto her ring finger then raised her left hand to kiss her knuckles.

“And now you,” the minister said after clearing his throat to stop the couple from simply staring at each other. “Repeat after me. ‘Spike, with this ring, I thee wed. Take it and wear it as a symbol of all we shall share.’”

She slid the ring onto her groom’s finger then looked into his eyes and said softly, “Spike, with this ring, I thee wed. Take it and wear it as a symbol of all we shall share.”

Their lips met the instant the last word was spoken and when they showed no signs of stopping the kiss, the minister finished in a rush for the guests.

“In as much as these two have pledged to each other their lifelong commitment, love and devotion, I now pronounce them husband and wife by the powers vested in me by God and the state of California. Those who God has joined together today, let no one put asunder,” the man looked at the couple with a slight shake of his head. “Spike, you may continue kissing your bride.”

“Wasn’t needing your permission, pops,” the groom pulled away for just a second to say before pulling his wife even closer for a deeper kiss.

“Ok, then. Beautiful ceremony, the bride is positively glowing and yada yada yada,” Lorne stood up and clapped for the newlyweds for a moment. “Now how ‘bout we go inside and hit the booze?”

“Oh phooey,” Buffy pouted as she and Spike turned after a moment to follow the others inside. “I broke my shoe.”

“My poor baby,” her husband mocked before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her inside so she wouldn’t have to walk in the now heel-less high heel. “How long do we have to put up with these geeks before we can go upstairs?”

“I’m thinking we could get away in an hour,” his wife sighed as she watched her friends and family rushing around the lobby getting food and alcohol from the caterers who’d set up the reception there. “Might be able to slip away sooner if they get drunk.”

“Right then,” Spike put her down and called out to the bartender, “Keep those drinks coming.”

Buffy’s theory that they might get away from drunken guests easier than sober ones was proven very wrong two hours into the reception. The more her friends drank the more they wanted to toast and congratulate the happy couple. Lorne keeping the music playing for the people to keep dancing while Andrew rushed around having everyone say something for the camera also proved a delay to their getting upstairs.

Dawn, who Spike was threatening to send off to reform school to finish up her high schooling, deliberately found little things to stop them with when they tried to sneak past her. First she reminded them with a big innocent smile that they had to pose for their wedding pictures. Then it was the need to have the first dance and cut the cake. Next she informed them that there were gifts to be opened. And, of course, Spike couldn’t forget to throw Buffy’s garter to the bachelors present nor could Buffy forget tossing her bouquet to the single women. She finally let them pass when Spike shoved a glass of champagne in her hand and told her to drink all she wanted as a bribe.

“Spike, we can’t let her drink that,” the bride protested as her maid of honor happily drank down the beverage and practically skipped to the bar for another.

“It’s sparkling cider, luv, and I told the bloody barkeep I’d rip his head off if he served her anything else,” her new husband said while dragging her toward the staircase. “Last thing any of us needs to deal with is a drunken nibblit. She’d probably start snogging Xander’s boytoy.”

“Mmm, speaking of snogging,” Buffy pulled him to a stop and moved in for a kiss at the base of the stairs.

“Looks like our newlyweds are heading off to consummate this joyous little union, so let’s send them off with a little ditty, what d’ya say?” startled the couple turned to see Lorne with a microphone standing in the center of the gathering behind them with the garter he’d caught dangling from his left horn. “Here’s an oldie but a goody for all you hip cats.”

“This is why I told you no bloody karaoke at the reception,” Spike sighed as the demon began singing.

“’Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum’ and what a precious little plum she is,” the empath winked a red eye at Buffy whose eyes went wide in fascinated horror. “’You came along and everything started to hum. Still it’s a real good bet the best is yet to come,’ but there are innocents present so let’s not go into any detail about that,” Lorne continued to sing and interject little statements directed toward his audience with the lyrics. “’The best is yet to come and won’t that be fine. You think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine. Wait till the warm-up is underway, wait till our lips have met.’ Come on Mr. and Mrs. Spike give us one last kiss for the cameras before scurrying off to do that horizontal polka,” the demon moved toward them with Andrew and the wedding photographer in tow while continuing with the song. “’Wait till you see that sunshine day. You ain’t seen nothing yet. The best is yet to come and won’t that be fine.’ Truly you two, beautiful ceremony aside from the ex-vampire lover crashing in with her minions to try and feast on all your guests,” Lorne wedged himself between the couple for a quick picture then went back to serenading them with his lounge style singing. “’The best is yet to come, come the day you’re mine.’ Looks like that day is today and what a great day it has been, let’s give these two a round of applause to thank them for giving us reason to have this fabo party.”

As the green man tucked his microphone under one arm to began clapping and the assembled guests slowly began applauding along with him, Spike took his wife’s arm and cautiously started inching his way up the stairs away from the clearly intoxicated demon.

“Yo, B, make sure you do everything to him that I would do,” Faith called out and raised her glass of champagne to the other slayer when the blonde looked her way. “And, blondie,” the brunette turned to toast the groom, “don’t forget what I told you about those muscles. Warm champagne, handsome. Divorce her and come to me if she doesn’t show you,” she offered with a sly wink despite her date’s glare.

“And there they go,” Lorne raised a hand to feign wiping away tears from his eyes as Spike restrained his bride from lunging at the rogue slayer and started dragging her up the stairs. “Aren’t they just the most perfect couple you’ve ever seen?”

“I’ve seen better,” Angel and Xander were both heard to say in the crowd.

“’Come the day you’re mine, I’m gonna teach you to fly. We’ve only tasted the wine. We’re gonna drain that cup dry.’ This is a party people, let’s drink up and keep the alcohol a flowing,” the empath demon went back to his performance as the newlyweds finally made their escape.

~*~*~

“Thank God we only have to go through that once in our lives,” Buffy sighed as Spike set her on her feet in their suite after carrying her over the threshold.

“We could’ve just gone to a nice justice of the peace to say our ‘I do’s’ without involving all the twits, but you wanted an actual ceremony to get all fancied up for,” her husband gave her a smile and dropped a kiss on her lips.

“We’re gonna have to buy this now,” she fingered the torn lapel of his tuxedo jacket a bit nervously then looked up into his eyes. “Ah … about Dru,” she bit her lip and looked away.

“Don’t give her another thought, luv. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved like this, with all my heart and bleeding soul even before I really had either,” he cupped her face in his hands and turned it back so he could look into her eyes. “I would have killed the daft bird long ago for you and never regretted it. She’s my past and been nothing but the past for me for a long time now. You are my present and future. I love you, Buffy, and I’ll spend the rest of our lives showing you how much.”

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone as good as you,” emotional tears deepened the color of her eyes, “but I will spend the rest of my life showing you how grateful I am to have you. I love you so much.”

“My wife,” he whispered against her lips as his hands worked to removed the pins from her hair and let down the upswept strands.

“My husband,” she smiled tearfully and pushed his jacket off before moving to unbutton his shirt.

Silently their clothing was slowly removed. She got his shirt open to reveal the still slightly pale but getting bronzed flesh of his chest and lovingly traced every muscle there. He lowered the zipper at the back of her gown and reverently ran his hands over her bare shoulders as the dress fell to pool at her feet. She removed the belt from around his lean waist as he toed off the dress shoes he’d consented to wear with the tux.

They both hesitated for some unknown reason over the remaining barriers between them. Buffy’s fingers curling into the waistband of his pants, but didn’t open the fastenings so near her hands. Spike’s fingers toyed with the straps of the white satin slip she had worn under her gown, but didn’t push them off her shoulders to send the flimsy garment to join the dress on the floor.

The stalling on both their parts surprised her considering that, with the exception of the few days last week that it had taken for her cycle to pass and Spike to recover from his circumcision, they hadn’t gone without sex for more than twelve hours since he was restored. As soon as they’d been able to again they’d gone at each other like animals and stayed in their bedroom for almost a full day making enough noise that Dawn swore she was psychologically scarred for life.

So why weren’t they on that big soft bed screwing like rabbits right now, she wondered.

“This is kinda silly,” she said quietly as she watched her index finger circle his navel. “We’ve done this hundreds of times I shouldn’t feel nervous.”

“It’s a bit different this time,” he bent to kiss the sensitive spot behind her left ear.

“Good,” she moaned and tipped her head to the right as his lips moved down the left side of her neck to the tiny white strip of fabric on her shoulder, “so I’m not the only one who feels that.”

“No,” he joined their hands, meshing their fingers together and pulling back to stare at the matching bands on their ring fingers that marked them as husband and wife. “I feel it, too. This is …”

“Right,” she suggested softly when he paused to find the right word.

“Sacred,” he finished looking deep into her eyes.

“Oh,” she blinked a bit at the word and the passion with which he spoke it then smiled. “I like your word better.”

“Yours was good, too,” he returned the smile before moving to kiss her gently with their joined hands pressed between their chest. “This is right,” he tilted his head to the side to change the angle of their kisses, making them deeper. “This is so bloody right.”

When he released her hands to scoop her back up into his arms she slid her hands into his hair and pressed her face against his shoulder, thinking that they were both right.

When he laid her gently on the bed then straightened to stare at her lying before him bathed the soft glow of light from the bedside lamp then moved his hands to remove his pant it was clear that this was sacred.

There was a reverence in the way he slid his nude body on to the bed next to her and in the way her breath and heartbeat slowed in anticipation as he laid on propped up on his side looking at her.

There was a purity in the way his hand reached out to stroke her cheek then make it’s way down her body until it reached her bare thigh at the bottom of her slip.

It was like her first time all over again.

Like their first time ever.

She looked into his eyes as his hand started sliding up under her slip then curled into the waistband of her bikini briefs and began pulled them down. With their gazes still locked together she raised her hips to help with the removal.

After getting the panties past her feet and tossing them aside Spike sat up to begin inching the slip up her body, pausing to kiss and caress every inch he bared. By the time he had the garment around her shoulders and was pulling her upright to get it completely off she had had enough of the slow and worshipping lovemaking.

Once her arms were free of the slip’s confines she wrapped them around her husband and rolled him onto his back.

Straddling his hips Buffy ran her hands through his slicked back bleached blonde hair while lowering her mouth to nip sharply at his soft full lips. He opened his mouth, tangled his hands in her hair and began returning the nips and kisses hungrily. She broke off to kiss her way down his body, but he stopped her before she could take him into her mouth.

“Trust me, you’ll like this, luv,” he promised when she looked up a bit confused at his holding her off.

Curiously she watched him sit up with his back braced against and legs outstretched in front of him. He gave her a leering look as he took her hands and urged her to straddle his hips again. Her hands went to his shoulders, at first for balance as she positioned herself then just to hold onto him as he took himself in hand and guided his erection into her waiting warmth.

Buried inside her Spike nuzzled his face against her neck while he rearranged her legs until they were wrapped around his waist putting all her weight on to his body and sinking him as deeply inside her as he could go.

Their eyes locked again as they stayed unmoving for a moment.

Then her hands squeezed the warm resilient flesh of his shoulders before her fingers raked down his back to pull their chests together. His arms wrapped around her with his hands going to her hips to begin raising and lowering her body on his.

For the longest time they continued just like that. His hands alternated between moving her hips to running up her spine and curling over her shoulders to arch her backward so her small firm breasts were thrusts toward his lips, which waited to kiss, nibble and suckle at her hardened nipples. Occasionally they would kiss - gently or hungrily, softly or with bruising force. Mostly, though, when he wasn’t suckling at her breasts, their faces would hover just inches apart as they breathed in each other’s breath and scents, looking deeply into each other’s souls and saw the same feelings of desire, love, devotion and lust they knew themselves to be feeling at this joining.

Finally it became too much. Buffy’s fingers were digging into his back and Spike’s lips were more demanding on her breasts while his hands guided her hips to ride him faster and harder.

“Spike, please,” she whimpered when she’d taken as much as she could and needed more.

He knew her so well he didn’t need to ask what she wanted. His blue eyes were darkened to a deep navy with desire and the dilation of his pupils as he locked gazes with hers to watch her every reaction as he kept their bodies tightly joined while he carefully shifted them until she was on her back with him above her.

He drove into her with a series pounding thrusts that slicked their bodies with even more sweat, set their hearts to thrumming even harder in their chests and made their breathing more a series of pants between loud moans and groans. She relished his weight and control and power for a few minutes then used her agile slayer form to flip them over so she was the one weighing him down, controlling their union and overwhelming him with her power and strength.

“That’s it, luv,” he groaned encouragingly as she set out to ride him hard, but slow.

Her hands ran roughly over his chest, fingernails scraping over his nipples to make him buck underneath her, as she squeezed him tight with her slayer muscles while raising her hips until he was nearly slipping out of her then she relaxed the muscles and slammed back down so their pelvises smacked together.

Buffy repeated the process until she was only able to move halfway off him before needing to slam back down and feel him filling every inch of her. When Spike’s hands wrapped around her hips to urge her on and his fingers curled into the soft firmness of her ass she gave up trying to drive him crazy in favor of taking them both over the edge together.

Planting her hands on the bed beside his head she leant forward to begin kissing his lips and neck while her body bounced and writhed on him. He moved one hand from her hip to wedge it between their bodies to find the knot of nerves between her legs and send bolts of pure ecstasy shooting through her system.

She looked at his face, saw how he was fighting to hold back his climax, and willingly threw herself into the orgasm he brought her to with his fingers on her clit. Wrapping both arms around her and crying out her name, Spike quickly joined her in orgasm.

~*~*~

Still tired in the most delicious way from her wedding night Buffy awoke the following afternoon to Spike waving a cup of coffee under her nose. She sat up with a smile and drank the hot liquid then spotted the tray of food on the bed beside her and the TV on against the wall at near the foot of the bed.

“Mmm, I’m famished,” she declared while picking up the huge sandwich on the tray and taking a fairly decent chunk out of it.

“Wonder why that is?” he gave her that trademarked smirk of his as he watched her devour the food for a minute then turned away to watch something on television.

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Buffy asked after finishing off the sandwich and moving on to her french fries.

“Shh, Passions on and I need to know who killed Julian Crane,” Spike replied without looking up from the screen.

“You still watch that show?” she smiled at his intent study of the program as he eagerly awaiting the revelation of the murder.

“It’s a good show,” he said before waving her to silence. “Now quiet before I miss it.”

“Spike,” she knew he’d punish her in some delightfully thrilling way for what she was about to do, but weighing the good against the bad she decided it was a win win situation. “This is our honeymoon. Sure we may not be able to fly off to some exotic isle and frolic nude on beaches to pass the time, but there are many many other things,” she slid from the bed and moved to shut off the TV before he knew what she was up to, “we can do besides watch daytime television.”

“Hey,” he protested when it sank in what she’d done as she tackled him back onto the bed. “I can do both, you know,” he bragged while turning the TV back on with the remote he held and running his free hand over her body.

“Really? Prove it,” she challenged.

With his eyes mostly on the television and his hands completely focused on her body, he did prove it and a few other things during their week long stay in the hotel suite.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: In this chapter Lorne serenades the happy couple with Frank Sinatra's "The Best is Yet To Come."

Thanks as always to Unwanted Souless Freak who suggested that I include mention of Passions in this story.

Blowing out the match he’d been using to light all the candles littering every possible surface in their bedroom Spike admired his handiwork then turned to collect his wife from her bubble bath.

“Five more minutes,” Buffy moaned from their large clawfooted bathtub, not even opening her eyes to speak as she sensed his presence in the doorway.

“Water’s getting cold already, luv,” he whispered as he knelt next to her and dipped a hand into the water. “You’ll like this next part just as much,” he promised with a trail of slow kisses down the side of her neck.

“Mmm,” she sighed happily and cracked one eye open just a bit. “Will there be more of that?”

“Possibly,” he smiled seductively and she raised a wet hand from the bath water to bring those smiling lips to hers.

With her feet she dislodged the stopper and started the water draining as he helped her stand to step from the tub.

She stood stretching her warm and relaxed muscles as he grabbed one of their big fluffy bath towels from the rack then rose to start wiping the moisture from her skin. He began at her shoulders working his way slowly down her arms then her torso, drying front and back in just a minute.

When he knelt before her to begin working his way up her legs she braced her hands on his strong shoulders and slowly opened her eyes to admire his lightly tanned skin under her fingers. As he finished he leant forward to gently kiss the barely visible silvery little stretch marks around her stomach.

“Stop that,” she pouted a bit as his actions reminded her she still had five pounds she wanted to shed before she considered herself to be back to her old physique.

“Can’t,” his tongue darted out to trace one tiny little line at her side causing her to squirm a bit as the light touch tickled her. “They’re just so cute.”

“They are not,” she argued just for the sake of arguing as he stood to scoop her up in his arms and carry her into the bedroom.

“Yes,” he shifted her closer in his arms for a quick kiss before laying her on the bed, “they are. Everything about you,” he stood there in nothing but boxer shorts admiring her nude body against the black satin of their bed sheets, “is cute and sexy,” he braced his hands on the edge of the mattress and leaned down to kiss her stomach, “and so bloody beautiful you take my breath away every time I look I you.”

“Still?” she asked with a touch of uncertainty as they had been married four years now.

“Always,” he said with quiet conviction while looking straight into her eyes to put all her doubts to rest.

“For me, too,” she whispered with the same conviction while reaching out to take his left hand into hers and mesh their fingers together so their wedding bands were side by side.

“On to your tummy now,” he ordered after a quick kiss and straightening to stand next to the bed.

Without hesitation she rolled until she was lying face down on the bed then turned her head to watch him as he slid his boxers off, grabbed a bottle of baby oil and joined her on the mattress.

“We’re gonna ruin the sheets again,” she smiled as she remembered how their massages always messed the satin material up.

“It’ll wash out,” he knelt beside her and poured some oil into his hands to warm it with his skin.

Smiling she folded her arms up under her chin, closed her eyes and relaxed as he brushed aside the few strands of hair that had escaped the clip she had them fastened up with then began massaging the nape of her neck and on down to her shoulders firmly.

She always marveled at his hands when he touched her like this. They were pure magic at easing away pain from muscles strained in fighting or slowly bringing her body to arousal as he was doing now.

His oil slicked hands skimmed down her spine then began kneading their way up her back to loosen every muscle there. When he again reached her shoulders he spread his fingers out wide with the thumbs pressed together in the dip of her spine and while applying a moan inducing pressure he dragged his hands down to her hips.

One hand left her to pour more oil in his palm before he resumed the massage. She stretched toward him like a cat when he slowly worked the liquid into the taut skin of her butt then slowly made his way to her thighs.

“Patience, pet,” he paused to whisper into her ear when she wiggled her hips to try deepening the contact between his roaming fingers and her core.

“Phooey on patience,” she said with a smile as she opened an eye just enough to see him smiling back at her.

Their smiles quickly changed from teasing to wanting and Buffy opened both eyes while rolling on to her back.

“Wasn’t finished with that side,” he stated even though his hands willingly went to massaging the oil on her chest.

“You can finish it later,” she managed to get out before moaning as his hands gently massaged her sensitive and slightly swollen breasts.

“Too much,” he asked with a bit of concern at her moan.

Green eyes growing dark and hazy with desire looked up into his as she gave a slight shake of her head to indicate that it the sound had been one of pleasure not discomfort.

Spike bent to tenderly press a closed mouth kiss to her lips as his hands moved slowly down her ribs to her stomach.

Both of them opened their mouths and deepened the kiss as his fingers began kneading her abdomen and prepared to go lower only to be stopped by a loud wail from the baby monitor on the bedside table.

They both froze completely at the sound and turned their heads to stare at the device. Then with a groan from him and a disappointed whimper from her they both sprang into action.

“Knew we should have let Red take her tonight,” Spike sighed as he stepped back into his shorts.

“It’s way too soon for us to start handing her off to our friends to take care just so we can … do things,” Buffy pulled on and belted her robe with a slight blush toward the bed then the baby monitor.

He chuckled at her heightened color, loving how becoming a mother had made his wife all soft and ever mindful of the language she used anywhere around their daughter or when thinking of their child.

“I’ll go heat her bottle,” he gave her a quick kiss then left the room to head for the kitchen.

Buffy quickly moved to the nursery the bedroom next to theirs had been converted into and gently lifted her crying infant from it’s crib.

“Shh, mommy’s here,” she cradled little Joyce in her arms and, after checking to make sure it wasn’t need for a diaper change causing the upset, moved to sit in the rocking chair set next to the big bay window in the room.

Making soothing little noises she pushed aside her robe and urged her daughter to begin feeding as she started the chair rocking gently back and forth.

“Never get tired of seeing that,” Spike sighed quietly from the doorway a minute later as he stood watching his wife and child bathed in the soft glow of the nightlight that was always left on in the room.

“She’s getting to where all she wants is the bottle,” Buffy looked up from the head against her chest with its soft brown hair to smile at her husband.

“Better enjoy these moments while they last then,” he entered the room and carefully lifted them both into his arms without disturbing the nursing baby then sat down in the chair with them on his lap.

Taking the bottle from him she offered it to Joyce who eagerly latched onto the rubber nipple and began suckling hungrily. As he set the chair to rocking again, Buffy sank back against his chest and nestled her head in the crook of his shoulder as their little girl devoured the formula.

These were the moments they’d saved the world for. For people to have this kind of happiness, never really imagining that they’d have the chance to experience it for themselves.

Sitting in Spike’s arms, feeling his warmth and heartbeat against her back, with their five month old baby girl Joyce Marie nursing in her arms, Buffy felt more love and joy and serenity than she ever would have thought possible.

Two years ago she’s started to think the world would conspire against them having moments like this.

Angel and Giles had both come running to tell her they were facing another Apocalypse thanks to some nimrod who was trying to bring hell onto Earth via the Hellmouth in Cleveland, Ohio. The hardest decision of her life had been to leave Spike, who was bound to Los Angeles, to go stop the event from happening. He’d given the strength and faith to get it done, though. With a few simple words said during a long night of loving he’d shown her yet again that with or without him she could conquer anything and this world would make it through whatever evil was thrown it’s way because there was too much good in it for failure to be an option.

Rona and three other young women, who had been turned into slayers from Willow’s spell at the end of Sunnydale and trained by Giles to use their skills, had been lost in the battle, but their side had won. Buffy, Faith, Kennedy, Rupert and Wesley had all sustained more than a few broken bones to get it done. Spike had counted every bruise, break, cut and scrape he found on her the second she returned to LA and held each little injury against Angel, who had sworn to take care of her in his absence.

They were still reaping the benefits from the major guilt trips her husband laid on the vampire whenever he was reminded of his allowing her to get harmed. This townhouse they now lived in was one of those benefits. When they’d found out she was pregnant they had put the word out that they were looking for a home to raise their growing family in and Angel had used the real estate division of Wolfram & Hart to secure them a beautiful little two story in a decent part of the city.

Their protection business had been thriving almost from the very first job they took on and, thanks to paranoid celebrities and studio execs trying to weasel themselves out of deals made with demons to get ahead in Hollywood, they’d been able to buy and furnish the house without even blinking at the costs. They were even managing to put Dawn through college, though the young woman had no idea what she wanted her major to be. Art was always a constant theme in the classes she signed up for so Spike had been urging her to get a degree in that area and go into the gallery business like their mother had.

Thinking of her mother always brought a twinge of pain, but it was always a bit more poignant a pain at moments like this. Moments when she held her daughter in her arms and wondered how Joyce would have spoiled her first grandchild. How much her mother would have teasingly bemoaned her grandmother status as vehemently denied that she was anywhere near old enough to have a granddaughter. How much Joyce would have approved of this marriage, because even though the evil vampire thing had always worried her, Buffy knew her mother had always liked Spike.

Buffy watched as baby Joyce drifted off to sleep and slowly stopped nursing on the bottle and wondered tearfully if her mother would be proud of how she was doing.

“She would be, luv,” Spike whispered quietly behind her, as always sensing that something was bothering his wife and somehow knowing exactly what it was.

“I wish she could see this,” a tear rolled down her cheek as she pressed a kiss to her daughter’s head then gently shifted the baby and rubbed at her back until she gave a little burp.

“I’m sure somewhere she’s got a front seat view of it,” he assured his wife as she got to her feet to return their daughter to her crib.

“Have I told you today that I love you,” she asked him as he came to stand behind her and watch their girl sleep for a moment.

“Been a few hours,” he smiled and slid his arms around her waist.

“Hours, you say?” she turned in his embrace and draped her arms around his neck. “I’ll have to make up for those.”

“That you will,” he gave her a quick kiss then stepped away to drop a loving little kiss on his sleeping child’s head before once again scooping his wife up to carry her back to their bedroom.

“I am capable of walking a few steps without injury, you know,” she chided even as she snuggled into his hold.

“I know,” he put her down on their bed with a leer. “I like carrying you, though. Makes me feel all manly,” he ran his hand down his bare chest and under the elastic waistband of his boxers then pushed the fabric down.

“Mmm, I love it when you’re all manly,” she rose to kneel facing him while slipped the robe from her shoulders with an inviting smile.

With a slight growl rumbling through his chest he moved quickly onto the bed to claim her lips hungrily and press her back to the mattress.

“Um …. Spike,” she squirmed under him as she felt a spreading wetness under her shoulder and back, “did you leave the baby oil on the bed?”

~*~*~

Buffy laid next to Spike under the cotton bedspread they’d gotten to replaced the oil soaked satin sheets with her right leg nestled between both of his and her head resting on his shoulder watching her right hand absently stroking his chest.

“Looks like we made it this year,” he yawned and took her roaming hand in his free one to raise it and kiss her fingers.

She looked past him to the clock on the bedside table next to the amulet they always kept nearby and wasn’t surprised to find it well past two am.

Smiling she turned back to watch him suck her middle finger into his mouth and did an inner happy dance. He was right. They’d made it through her 26th birthday without an Apocalypse or any other kind of imminent doom facing them, the world or their loved ones.

“Maybe they finally got the memo that I’ve retired from the whole Slayer gig,” she grinned up at him then resisted the urge to mention how adorable he looked getting all sleepy after their day and with his hair all mussed from her fingers.

“I am not cute,” he gave her a bit of a glare to try looking intimidating.

“I didn’t say anything,” she kissed his shoulder and strived for an innocent look.

“You were bloody thinking it and I’m not cute,” he nipped at her pinky.

“Your mind reading abilities are slightly off tonight,” she moved to lie on top of him with a gleam in her eyes. “I was thinking you looked adorable, not cute,” she laughed when he smacked her bottom for that then rolled to pin her beneath him.

“Take that back,” he ordered with her wrists held in his hands above her head.

“Nope, it’s true,” she grinned up at him. “You’re getting all sleepy and yawning and you’re hair’s all a mess. It’s adorable. My blondie bear.”

“I’ll divorce you,” he threatened with a reluctant grin curling his lips.

“On what grounds?”

“Mental cruelty. ‘Blondie bear,’” he rolled his eyes at the phrase and gave an over exaggerated shudder of revulsion. “Take it back,” he insisted.

“All right,” she rolled her eyes up at him. “I take it back. You’re so not adorable. You’re manly and sexy and hot and absolute salty goodness that I wanna lick and nibble on for hours on end.”

“Haven’t you grown past that whole ‘salty goodness’ terminology phase?” he rolled on to his back to let her begin some of that licking.

“Mmm, how could I when it’s so apt?” she ran the flat of her tongue up the middle of his chest until it reached the Adam’s apple in his throat which bobbed as he swallowed convulsively and began responding to her touch. “Salty,” she licked at his skin a few more times before he urged her to straddle him again.

“God, I do love you,” he groaned when she ground against his renewed arousal and nipped at his jugular.

“Name’s Buffy, baby, not God, but I know it’s easy to confuse the two,” she quipped with a smacking kiss to his lips.

“Oh, hardy har har har,” he said when her words filtered through the haze of desire he’d been sinking under. “You’re a bloody riot tonight.”

“It was just too good an opening to resist,” she said without remorse and a very self-satisfied grin on her face.

“If you weren’t such a loud screamer I’d turn you over my knee and tan your little hide, brat,” he threatened with a grin that showed the lack of any real intent behind the words. “Although, we should still have a gag around here somewhere …”

“No bondage with a baby in the house,” Buffy declared.

“Didn’t seem to mind doing it when Dawn shared the apartment with us,” he reminded her with a lascivious grin.

“Oh God, I’ve married a pervert,” she groaned and slumped against his chest.

“Can’t say you weren’t aware of that before the wedding, pet. And need I remind you you’re the one that bought the first pair of handcuffs this time?”

“Our kids are gonna be such screwed up adults.”

“’Kids’ plural? Thought you said no more after Joyce’s labor. In fact, I recall you threatening my bits with unimaginable tortures if I ever put another bun in your oven.”

“I was in labor at the time and you wouldn’t let them give me drugs,” she pouted then grinned at the memory. “Changed your tune when I started threatening Willy Jr, didn’t ya?”

“That’s not it’s bloody name,” he rolled her onto her back and rose above her with a grin. “It’s called the spike of Spike and I’m about to drive it into you.”

She looked up into his smiling face then down at this infamous spike pressed between her legs then returned her gaze to his face. She tried to keep it in. She really really tried, but the corner of her lip started twitching upward no matter how hard she bit the inside of her cheek and then the laughter started pouring out.

“Figured you’d like that one,” he moved to lean back against the headboard and watch her double over laughing.

A few minutes later when her mirth showed no signs of easing he was no longer smiling at his own joke.

“Wasn’t that bleeding funny,” he pouted as she finally stopped due to the soreness of her throat and the tears pouring from her eyes.

Holding up her hand to indicate she needed a moment, she slid from the bed to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water.

“With a delivery like that, it was that funny,” she argued when she’d regained her composure.

“Just for that, no more spiking for you tonight,” he continued to sulk and tucked the blankets firmly around him.

“Oh, it’s your own fault for making a funny at ‘the spike of Spike’s expense,” she grinned and slid back into bed.

“Why do I stay married to you?”

“Because I’m irresistible and you totally love me,” she snuggled up against him.

“That must be it,” he smiled and pulled her closer.

“I love you, too,” she tipped her head back for a kiss.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“So,” she began trailing her fingers over his chest, “can I have another spiking tonight?”

“Don’t you ever get tired?” he groaned as he urged her on top of him again.

“Of this?” she moaned at finding him still hard and took his length inside her. “Never.”

She’d never get tired of this man, this love, this family or this life she now had.

And as they gazed in to each others eyes with their bodies moving toward simultaneous climaxes, she knew he never would either for as long as they lived this time around.

~*~

The End