Dance of Death

Warnings: Violence, Strong Sexual Content, Adult Language, Sexual Situations. NC-17, just like the rest of my fics.

Summary: A dream is a wish your heart makes when your fast asleep or is it something more?

Continuity: BTVS S2 AU, but Spike‘s first appearance occurs during career week not school hard which never happened. All other changes are mentioned in the story

Parings: B/A appetizer but Spuffyness is definitely the main course

Disclaimer: All of the characters and places from the Buffy-verse are the property of the writers, actors and Fox. This is just my take on their work and they are in no way responsible for anything said or implied by myself.

Chapter 1

It was a normal night…well by Sunnydale standards atleast; which meant demons and slaying. For Buffy, it also meant demons and dating. Or more accurately her waiting for Angel and him either not showing, much to her disappointment or him showing up out of nowhere. Which also usually ended with her being disappointed. She liked him; liked the way her pulse would skip when he gave her one of those rare smiles of his but what she didn’t like was the distance he insisted on keeping between them. He liked her enough to be jealous but their relationship on the whole lacked something.

Fire.

The kind of fire that coursed inside your blood and warmed your skin to the point where it felt like you were being burned alive…consumed by the passion kindled with every touch.

At first they had that…that indescribable spark that seemed to come out of nowhere but lately she could tell it was gone. His idea of love seemed to be composed of walking away, leaving her in the cold while he faded into the night. That was a perfect way to describe Angel, intangible, untouchable to the point that whatever spark they had once had, slowly began to burn itself out because they hadn‘t added anything to the fire.

It didn’t help that lately she had been having some weird dreams that she couldn’t remember when she opened her eyes but still left her feeling itchy and very hot, leaving no doubt as to there more than likely X-rated content.

But as a dream can be lovely while it lasts, once reality reasserts itself you feel nothing but empty…unfulfilled. She found herself tossing in turning in the arms of her dream lover only to wake up alone and achinging which made her more than a little cranky but also depressed. She needed to be touched, to be stroked until she knew that not only he was real but that she was as well.

So much of her life was lived in the shadows and most of her time in the sunlight was consumed by pretending to be something she wasn’t. A normal girl. She knew she was as far from normal as it got, what with her super-powers and her grand destiny to save the world or die trying. Even her friends couldn’t understand what her life was like, because they lived in the real world, the world of career week and higher education while she lived in the world of demons and nightly battles.

That was her real world, it was something she and Angel both had in common but where as she had finally learned to accept her place in the dark he still clung to the sunlight that scorned him. She had known it since the day he had saved her from Darla. His disgust with his life had been evident in every word he had uttered that night and more than anything she had wanted to ease the pain she saw in his eyes.

He was so lost, neither a man nor a monster just like she wasn’t a girl or just a Slayer. She was just Buffy and he was just Angel, which was why she had been a little stunned when he had told her that what they had, couldn’t ever be anything.

Sure she thought, swirling her straw in her soda absently, he had changed his mind about that quickly enough. They were now a full fledged, yet unofficial couple. But not a single kiss they had shared since their now infamous not-date over coffee had been nearly as powerful as that single kiss he had given her when they had agree it could never be.

That kiss had been filled with passion. They were both sure they would never be able to experience it again, so neither one of them had held anything back. In that single moment they were both honest and exposed and now they were both hiding behind their insecurities and other assorted relationship phobias. She was afraid he’d disappear for good if she asked him for more. And to be honest she didn’t really understand what his deal was but was betting that he had some noble reason for his gentlemanly behavior.

Sure he was alive when holding hands and chaste kisses were the norms in courtship but she was pretty sure a century and some, as a sadistic and insatiable vampire had given him a more liberal view of relationships. She doubted Darla settled for tiny little pecks on the cheek and damnit she didn’t want to either, Buffy thought grumpily. She wasn’t exactly experienced when it came to sex being a virgin and all but she didn’t think she was slut-girl for wanting a little hot and heavy action with her all to yummy, creature of the night, cradle robbing boyfriend!

Besides it wasn’t like she was a complete hag, Buffy thought testily, ripping her buttery croissant to shreds. She was young, blonde and limber and there were tons of guys just begging for a piece of her; Xander being at the top of the list. Or they would, she amended if the entire school wasn’t convinced she was an absolute and total freak. And if she wasn’t totally hung up on her obviously older and more than a little intimidating boyfriend.

Cringing from the unkind direction her thoughts had gone Buffy, realized she wasn’t exactly being fair to Angel. She knew that he was probably taking things excruciatingly slow to prove that he wasn’t like his demonic and soul-less alter ego Angelus but she’d already gotten the memo. Yes he was a vampire and yes he had done some very bad things but that wasn’t who he was now. So as long as he refrained from killing the innocent or other vamp hi-jinks she didn’t see what the big deal was.

She deny it if anyone asked but Xander was right…she was more than a little turned on by the whole bad boy thing Angel had going for him. She had dated nice normal guys, guys like Alec and Taylor back at Hemerly but once she realized there was more to the world than she had ever imagined she found herself drawn to the slightly darker Pike.

He was a rebel, a bad boy with a shitty attitude and a leather jacket but also a guy who understood her and had a real heart beneath that rough exterior. Unlike Tyler who only wanted his vapid and vain cheerleader status symbol, Pike had liked the real her. The girl that had suggestively sliced his hotdog when he had made a vulgar comment and had no problem telling him that his name wasn’t a name, but a kind of fish.

He didn’t want to date a cheerleader or the seemingly perfect girl everyone else wanted or wanted to be like, he wanted her. Sarcastic, bitchy, weepy, scared and all to real and human her.

If that thing with Lothos hadn’t gone down the way it did, Pike would have been her first because he refused to allow her to pretend around him. He knew she wanted him as badly as he wanted her and while they had agreed to wait until she was older, since she was only fifteen to his seventeen, she had no doubt that if he had survived he would have followed her here.

It was his death that ended up getting her sent to a mental institution for two weeks by her concerned parents. He had died and when everyone suddenly forgot the vampires that had attacked them that night, she couldn’t stand the thought of his death being covered up as a random gang attack. He had died a hero and she was afraid that if people forgot how he died, it was be the same as forgetting him.

So once she couldn’t stand the idea of being locked away because the doctors refused to believe her, she decided that if the world didn’t believe in vampires then it didn’t need a Slayer. Her friend and her Watcher had died and if it had just been gang violence, then the cops could deal with the grossly disfigure people that caused trouble after dark. She was through and while she knew it was wrong to abandon the mission that had cost their lives she couldn’t imagine having to continue on alone.

Then she had come to Sunnydale, made new friends and got a new Watcher…even a new boyfriend and found her purpose again. But she wanted more than the mission, the great hulking destiny that had taken her life once. She wanted what Pike had told her was his reason for fighting beside her.

‘Wanna know my destiny Buff, a crappy life. I have no family and my best friend was killed and turned into the fricking undead. Then I met you…fell in love with you. I can’t explain what makes you special or why I’m willing to die fighting your battles with you. But if I’m willing to die for it…it must mean I have something worth living for, right. That’s all I need to know…I’ve got something worth fighting for.'

That was passion, Buffy thought reaching up to brush away the tears that she had shed for her lost love and first true friend.

“Are you alright Buffy?” Angel asked gently, intruding on her thoughts.

She looked up at him for a moment, his face was as handsome as a renaissance painting but as neutral as a blank wall and it only further proved her concerns. It was true she might not exactly be thinking clearly because of her recent trip down memory lane but she didn’t think it had made her early thoughts less true. She was crying alone in a corner and instead of concern and love, she was being offered detached objectivity.

“No I’m really not.” Buffy said gathering up her things and getting to her feet before she could change her mind. “But I’m going to be…I hope.”

“Did something happen on patrol?” Angel asked trying to read her face. Usually she was a completely open book to him but now he couldn’t figure out what was going on in that mind of hers. That alone send a tendril of fear curling inside his gut but he clung to his rigid façade.

“No, I haven’t gone yet but that’s not important right now.” Buffy said inwardly seething because he sounded more concerned about Slayer stuff than what the girl he was dating might actually be feeling. “Angel I think we should break up.”

Angel blinked for a moment before nodding slowly. He had always known this day would come and had prepared for it but it still felt like he was losing a part of his soul. He knew someone as pure and as innocent as her would never be able to let herself fully love someone like him…a monster like him but since he couldn’t bare the thought of losing her completely he gave her a gentle smile. “I understand Buffy but I’m still willing to be your friend if you’ll let me.”

“Ya, that’s great Angel…I’ll call you.” Buffy said knowing it was snide of her but at the moment not caring. It was her choice to end things and even with her doubts and concerns it still ranked in her top ten list of gut wrenching moments.

She was more than a little in love with him and she had been hoping that the fear of losing her would finally cause him to let go of his rigidly controlled emotions and finally give her what she needed. Just a crumb, the barest smidgeon of real passion that she had been craving but once again she would be walking away disappointed.

Without another word she brushed past him before he could see the tears already gathered in her eyes begin to fall and headed out into the night.

“What’s up with the Buffster?” Xander asked a somewhat stunned or possibly constipated looking Angel. Did vampires even get constipated, he asked himself idly before going back to his more pressing concern. He had seen the two of them talking from where he and Will were dancing and anytime Buffy left like that it wasn’t a good sign. “Is it the end of the world again?”

“Not for you.” Angel said softly, carefully avoiding her best friends gazes.

“Is she alright…she looked a little upset?” Willow asked gently. “She’s been acting really down all day and she wouldn’t tell us what’s bothering her.”

Seizing the tendril of hope that Willow had unintentionally offered him, Angel met her eyes for the first time. “When I got here she was crying and when I asked what was wrong she didn’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s not that big of a surprise.” Xander said with a careless wave of his hand. “Buff’s not real big with the whole talking thing…like ever. Do I really need to remind you about the bitchy and repressed Buffy we all had the pleasure of meeting not that long ago? I‘m guessing she‘s still dealing with the fact her old buddy Ford tried to turn her over to the Anointed One. It couldn‘t have been easy for her to dust him but the G-man said she handled it alright.”

“She said something about not really sleeping well lately. So maybe she’s had one of those dreams of hers and is trying to be a big loner hero.” Willow said taking her seat, her face growing more worried with each passing second. “But Buffy would tell us if that was it…wouldn’t she? I mean maybe we’re all just overacting and everything is perfectly alright. Maybe she’s just having a bad day. We all have bad days and since the last couple of months have been hard maybe it’s just making her grumpy.”

“Breathe Will, I’m sure everything’s fine.” Xander said laying his hand on her shoulder. “Like you said she’s probably in a bad mood. It’s not like she’s doing sexy dances or acting like a crazy person. She’s just being normal Buffy only slightly less smiley. Just you wait, by this time tomorrow she’ll be snuggled up with soul-boy and we’ll spend the entire night on the dance floor to escape the dazzling smiles she’ll be handing out left and right.”

“No she won’t…she just broke up with me.” Angel said stoically, while at the same time thinking that Willow might have been right. He may have been prepared for her to end things but now that it had actually sunk in he wasn’t exactly ready to accept his fate yet.

Willow and Xander shared stunned looks before getting to their feet. “I think we need to see Giles…like now.” Xander said pulling on his jacket. He didn’t exactly like Angel…okay he hated the guy but he knew Buffy had a big old yen for him and her dumping him was right up there with rain of toads.

Chapter 2

“You’re a vampire right?” Buffy asked, pulling her punch mid-swing.

“Yeah, I thought you knew that pet. What with the fighting and all.” Spike said a little stunned by the chit’s sudden action. They’d been fighting the last five minutes, neither one getting the upper hand and it was by far one of the most enjoyable fights he’d had. Which was why he was a bit impatient to get back to it. “So now that’s all cleared up luv, wanna start round two?”

“I was kinda hoping we could talk.” Even as the words left her mouth Buffy was nearly certain she had lost her mind. Then she remembered the week she had and decided that desperate times call for desperate measures.

“Me vampire, you Slayer…talkin’s not part of the program.”

“That’s exactly why I want to talk to you. You’ve got the whole Master vampire thing working for you and that means you’re not a half-wit like all the fledges I’ve staked tonight.” Buffy said taking a step away but not relaxing her battle stance. She wasn’t a complete idiot. Taking a deep breath, fully aware of the fact she was playing in some serious traffic she decided to get to the point. “I’ve had a REALLY bad week and if I have to sit through one more intervention I swear I’m going to lose my mind!”

“I think it’s a little late, pet.” Spike said with a slight snort. This chit had obviously slipped her bloomin’ gourd but since it wasn’t exactly a hardship looking at her, he could be patient a bit longer. She was tiny like a pixie, with soft golden hair and big green eyes and seeing as how he’d been without female companionship for a good while it wasn‘t all that terrible being alone with such a beautiful girl.

‘She smells of jasmine and power, with an angel’s face and a predators grace. Her skin as golden as the unforgiving sun, is as luminescent as…’

Ruthlessly shoving down his inner William mid-sonnet, Spike told himself he was just allowing this so he could kill her when she least expected it. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact she was such a lovely little thing. “Well out with it then. It’s obvious you’re not going to be worth fighting until you talk about whatever maggot worked its way into that head of yours.”

Eww…Buffy thought making an unpleasant face at the imagery his words had invoked. “See I broke up with my boyfriend, someone all my friends weren’t all that fond of to begin with and they won’t leave me alone about it. It doesn’t help that he’s gone all stalker on me, following me around like a lost puppy. I mean if he had put that much effort into the relationship to begin with, I wouldn’t have dumped him. Naturally he thinks I have no idea he’s doing it but hello, Slayer here, I know when vamps are sneaking around in the damn shadows.”

He had toned out the moment she started talking about relationship issues but her last words captured his entire attention. “You were dating a vampire?”

“Yeah, why else did you think I wanted your opinion? Cause let me say it’s not hair tips, the whole Billy Idol look is so 1980.” Buffy said crassly, despite the fact the violently bright shade seemed to suit him. What with his pale white skin, deep blue eyes and those cheekbones…those were good cheekbones to have.

Blinking Buffy suddenly realized she was checking out the evil vampire she was supposed to be killing and mentally told herself to put her hormones in check. Bad guys who may or may not be evil were one thing but she had no doubt that the vamp in front of her was definitely evil. It didn’t matter that he was definitely drool worthy; with that tight black t-shirt stretched taunt against his obvious toned abs….STOP! He’s evil, evil can’t be yummy, she berated herself, no more checking out the bad guy. “Umm…he’s like two-hundred and something, kinda broody so maybe you’ve heard of him. Angelus…well it’s actually Angel now because of his soul and all.”

“Let me get this straight pet, the sodden Slayer not only shacked up with the bloody Scourge of Europe but dumped him?” Spike asked, knowing that if he had a working heart it would have skipped a beat. He knew that the sodden soul had taken Angelus off his kibble but he never expected his grandsire to stoop so low as to snog the Slayer. Even if she was one of the most beautiful chits he’d ever laid eyes on, he added almost absently.

“Yep, but we weren’t shacked up.” Buffy admitted with a slight pout. “We had this really amazing spark at first but then he turned out to be kind of a prude. I mean it’s not like I wanted him to throw me up against the wall and have his way with me but I didn’t even get groped. No groping, his hands were always on my shoulders or waist and that’s just wrong. I mean I thought vampires were supposed to be all sexy and sensual cause well, demon chock full of naughty impulses. But no, my human ex-boyfriend was more of an animal than Angel.”

Spike felt his cock twitch in response to her blunt yet innocent phrasing and swallowed audibly before the full impact of what she said hit him. Unable to help himself, he started to laugh.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a chilling look. “Why is the idea of making out with me so funny? I’m not exactly a super-model but it’s not like I am a total bow-wow either.”

“Sorry luv, I’m laughing at Peaches playing monk when he had such a nummy treat panting for his attention.” Spike blinked when he realized he had just apologized to the bloody Slayer of all things but when she sent him a dazzling smile it was awfully hard to feel bad about it.

“For a moment there I was starting to think my sex-appeal was wasted on the undead.” Buffy said half seriously. She knew she was pretty in that wholesome girl next door kind of way but since running afoul of the perfect and always stunning Cordelia Chase she had been having major self-image issues. Issues which Angel’s lack of smoochiness had unfortunately made worse.

Hoping for a little confidence boost, Buffy gave him a serious look. “But how do I know you're not just saying that because I’m the Slayer. I may have not read the stupid handbook but I know my blood is damn tasty. I mean if I wasn’t the Slayer would you even bite me or would you go find someone a little more…well womanly?”

Unable to help himself he gaped at her. Normally, atleast in his vast experience with the opposite sex, beautiful girls like her were usually bitches convinced they were superior to everyone who wasn’t in vogue. His first instinct was to leer at her scornfully, certain that she was just trying to make him admit he was attracted to her so she could mock him but then he noticed something.

Earlier when she had first approached him, her eyes were filled with self-confidence and he could practically feel her strength washing over him like the swelling tides. But looking at her now, he could see he wasn’t talking to the Slayer but a young girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. That show of humanity should have disgusted him, made his demon sneer at the weakness of his opponent but it didn’t. His beast was oddly soothed by the air of fragility surrounding her like a misty cloud of conflicting emotions.

William, the more gentler and softer side of his being was quick to provide him with an answer to that mystifying question. ‘Only the strongest of beings can fully embrace the weakest of emotions. It strengthens them because they admit the lesser qualities of humanity exist within them instead of hiding behind an show of arrogance. It is truly an admirable trait, one that we have never possessed in either incarnation.’

With both sides of his being for once in complete agreement Spike found that he was helpless to leave her in such a vulnerable state. “If you weren‘t the sodden Slayer I‘d want to turn you. You’re not only beautiful but also an intriguing mystery that would take centuries to unravel completely. He’s beneath you luv, don’t waste another minute doubting yourself cause of him. And I should know seeing as how he‘s my grandsire and all.”

His admission soothed her ravaged pride but it also triggered a memory. “You’re…William the Bloody and your sire was Drucilla.” She said recalling the names she had read when she and Willow had secretly researched Angel’s past in the Watchers diaries. It also made her remember that he had atleast two Slayers to his credit, further proving she was under way to much pressure.

Here she was standing in a deserted cemetary with a slayer of Slayer's, talking about life and relationships...nope everything was pretty much completely normal. In bizarro world, Buffy thought but still not making a move to renew the fight.

Why bother, she rationalized, she'd already gone this far she might as well see how it all plays out.

“That bastard actually had the nerve to talk about her…about us!” Spike yelled at her, unintentionally slipping into his game face. He had always hated his grandsire but he had always given him the respect that was his due. He was the kind of demon all demons wanted to become, he wanted to become but that didn't mean he liked the bastard. Some things could never be forgotten or forgiven and the fact that the souled and nancy boy version had dared to speak of them, infurated him. “I’ll use his guts for garters. I’ll spend weeks paying him back for daring to utter her name!”

“Calm down, he didn’t tell me.” Buffy said forcing herself to not respond to the violence of his movements. “I read about you two in the Watcher’s diaries. I’m…I’m sorry about what he did to her. She was your sister right?”

“Yeah.” Spike said calming down somewhat. He could tell from her tone that her apology was sincere and once again he couldn’t help wondering how a Slayer could be so understanding. The two he killed in the past were all about the job, little more than bloody robots, fighting the good fight and all but this one, this one girl was different.

She had some spark, some inner fire that her predecessors had lacked and according to the talk, she was more feared as well. This girl was definitely special, which reminded him of another girl. “Dru was always special, she just seemed to glow but he took care of that quick enough. He broke her he did and he was still the only thing the chit could think about. Her precious Daddy. He never cared about her…she was just a toy to him, a conquest.”

And he had been her final gift to her, Spike thought bitterly. Angelus had killed their mother, their aunts and cousins, taking out their entire family tree one right after another. He had been at university and by the time he received word it was to late to save his precious sister…or himself. The girl he’d met that night wasn’t his dear sweet sister anymore but a monster. Yet the thought of leaving her alone in the dark world she now roamed seemed even more monstrous. He’d failed to protect her in life, so he joined her in death only to fail her again a little more than a century later.

Seeing the pain in his eyes, Buffy reacted on instinct and stepped forward to lay her hand on his arm. “You know it’s late and we can always do this whole fight to the death thing tomorrow. I mean even the people are asleep right now; so it’s not like you can do anything worth being staked for anyway. So you wanna come to my house, maybe have some hot chocolate and watch the late, late movie?”

“You in the habit of inviting strange vampires into your house, luv?” Spike asked responding the light tone of her voice.

“Please I’m the Slayer, you get all Grr and I’ll stake you tonight instead of tomorrow.” Buffy said with a bright smile. It was completely obvious she had finally cracked up but for some reason she felt some odd sort of connection to Spike. Something about him clouded her memory and made her forget he was a soulless killer who wanted nothing more than to drink her dry. If she didn’t know better she’d swear she’d met him before but since he was like two hundred years old that wasn’t very likely. But it wasn’t like the world would end if she staked him tomorrow instead of tonight and since he’d be at her place it wouldn’t get anyone killed. So she couldn’t see the harm in a temporary truce. “So you to afraid to hang out with the Slayer or are you coming?”

“That depends pet, do you have any of those tiny little marsh mellows?” He asked with a genuine smile. It riled him to be making nice with his enemy but he was evil, so he was suppose to defy conventionality. Plus an all access pass into the Slayer’s home would come in handy when he snuck into her room tomorrow night, when she’d be all weak and defenseless. Yep, he could definitely hold off on killing the chit one bloody night just lower her defenses and such. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact he felt something less than murderous for her…nope not at all, he told himself.

Chapter 3

Buffy buried her face into her pillow, trying to delay the inevitable new day a little bit longer, when two things happened. First her ‘pillow’ let out a soft moan and secondly a sinewy arm wrapped itself around her waist pulling her closer.

Fully awake now, Buffy’s eyes flew open like those roll up blinds in cartoons, only to find out she wasn’t dreaming. She really was curled up like a cat against Spike’s cold body on her sofa and instead of the disgust or fear she should be feeling, all she could think was that it was comfy. She’d never woken up with a man before let alone a vampire but since she could still feel her heart pounding out a gentle rhythm inside her breast she threw all caution to the wind and just let herself savor the feeling.

It was becoming a risky trend of hers…throwing caution to the wind, especially where this vampire was involved.

She couldn’t resist brushing away the curl that had slipped across his face anymore than she could wipe away what she was certain was a goofy smile off her face. Spike had been mind-numbingly sexy or irritating as the night had progressed but now in sleep he looked like a new man entirely. Without his trademark sneer in place or that wicked gleam in his eye he looked gentle. Like sleep had stripped away all the arrogance and attitude leaving the man beneath the demon open and exposed.

Just like that her contented mood slipped…demon.

Spike may look like an innocent angel in slumber but once those startling blue eyes of his snapped open he was a ruthless and brutal killer. She knew his exploits rivaled that of Angelus, what with his delight in killing people with railroad spikes that had earned him his namesake. He was a soulless demon, an unrepentant killer; the very thing she was chosen to slay but at this moment she wasn’t afraid.

Sometime during the night she had fallen asleep and she had been at his mercy. He could have broke her neck, drank her dry or even tied her up, but he hadn’t. Here she was alive and well, cradled inside his arms in a way that could only be described as possessively. Wrong or not, she couldn’t help feeling like she had merely woken up in the arms of a lover and not death itself.

It didn’t matter that they hadn’t so much as kissed or that all their clothes were still in place…that was just semantics. But with her half lying on top of him, her cheek resting against his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her waist it was clearly intimate. She could feel every line of his body pressed against hers like pooling wax and now that she was wide awake and aware it was playing hell on her hormones. It felt like all of her nerve endings were crackling, sending thousands of tiny yet painless jolts through her body. It was definitely a good feeling.

If what she had felt for Angel had hit her like a single lightning bolt out of the blue than what she was feeling now was like being in the middle of an electrical storm. Even the air around her seemed charged with potential and that caused a profound wave of sadness to pour over her like a cold rain.

Just being with here with him, like this, filled all those empty places that had been haunting her lately but it wasn’t to be. Last night was a fluke, a temporary truce between mortal enemies and this gentle interlude between them would most likely end the moment he opened his eyes. He'd wake up, see them like this and either shove her away or lash out at her as if she had forced him to hold her in such a way.

It was the same way she had been prepared to act if she had opened his eyes to see him staring back at her. Basically, they were both conditioned, no pre-disposed to hate one another because of fate and the eternal struggle between good and evil. Slayers were good, Vampires evil and the only passion they shared was one borne of hate. It was their destiny to bring death to one another and as much as she wished it could be different this one time, she knew it couldn’t.

She couldn’t live with herself if she allowed him to take innocent life and he wouldn’t want to become a caged beast, no longer free to embrace his true nature. Purely from a warrior’s standpoint she could admire the brutal grace of a worthy foe but her humanity and soul would not allow her to forget that he killed for fun…for pleasure. He didn’t have a noble destiny to protect the innocent he was the thing they needed protected from.

She had riled against her destiny on more than one occasion, cursed at the unfairness of it all but something inside her knew that having to give him up would hurt her as much as losing Pike and Merrick had. Watching her friends die at a vampire’s hands and having to watch Spike as he dusted from her own, brought her the same amount of pain. Which only goes to show that no matter how noble the purpose or pure the intent, taking a life even an unnatural one could leave you feeling cold inside…dead inside.

It was easier before vampires with souls and vampires having the Slayer at their mercy and cuddling them instead but if they were capable of gentler emotions, did that mean all vampires had that humanity still inside them? Buffy’s senses, were now screaming at her to slay, to push aside her ‘human’ feelings for the beast in her arms and do what she was meant to do…kill. She was a killer, as ruthless as Spike and Angelus so where did she really fit in on the good vs. evil spectrum, she asked herself. Unlike Pandora, Buffy knew that if she opened that particular box of the unknown it could throw her world in complete and utter chaos and she didn’t know if she was ready for that yet.

Nothing in either of her lives, normal girl or Slayer had prepared her for this moment and for once in her life she had no idea what to do. With Angel it had been easy, he had a soul therefore he deserved to live. Souls were good things, bright and shiny things full of purity and light but how could that be true if it was housed in a body that had done so much evil? Bundy, Dahmer, Gacy all those men were monster as bad as Angelus but since they were human that meant they had souls…souls that didn’t stop them from killing or torturing the innocent.

So what was a soul really, Buffy asked herself as she studied Spike’s face. It was an intangible bit of metaphysical energy that reminded us of our humanity but wasn’t strong enough to stop us from becoming monsters. So what did it mean when Spike had been strong enough to resist killing her or did it mean anything at all, she wondered. Maybe she was having this big theological/moral debate over nothing.

She had no idea how they had ended up tangled together and it was possible that just like her, he had fallen asleep without meaning to. Who knew maybe he had a big massacre before she had run into him and he was just really tired…to tired to risk fighting a Slayer in her own home.

It wasn’t like the movie was that riveting or the sofa was that big, so it could be just a coincidence that they had ended up like this. Heck, she had ended up like this with Xander and Willow a time or two…well they had all been mushed together on a bed but there wasn’t anything that could remotely been considered as cuddling.

Besides, Spike had probably had tons of lovers over the centuries so maybe he was used to holding on to whatever willing body was curled up against his. It wasn’t very surprising that thought made her more than a little jealous but like she had told Darla, vamps of a certain age are bound to rack up a few ex’s. Spike was a hottie, so naturally he got a lot of action….right there she abandoned that train of thought before she started acting like a pissed off girlfriend.

She wasn’t anything to Spike but the Slayer and despite her very confusing feelings for him, she didn’t think that was going to change. But since no-one, least of all Spike would ever know, she leaned forward and pressed a soft, almost ghostlike kiss against his lips before gently easing out of his grasp and making her way back into reality. More than anything she just wanted to stand there watching him sleep like a love sick teen but when she dared to look at the clock she realized she was incredibly late for school…two hours to late in fact.

Knowing Snyder was probably planning her punishment with a nearly childlike glee, was more than enough to send her racing up the stairs. In her haste she never noticed that the drapes were drawn when they had been open last night or the fact that a pair of blue eyes tracked her progress up the stairs.

“Bloody hell.” Spike muttered softly, raising his trembling fingertips up to touch his lips. He had always believed that eyes were the windows to the soul but apparently whoever said that had never been kissed by Buffy Summers. In that fleeting brush of lips, he swore he had felt everything that she was slipping inside the hollowness inside him making him whole once more. For that single moment, he had felt like a man instead of a demon.

He had no illusions about his place in this world; he hadn’t just accepted his fate, hell he had embraced it. He liked being the thing people feared, liked the way the trembled before him when they saw his true face. As a man he had been walked upon and demeaned. A milksop who was often seen running out of parties with tears gathered in his eyes as his poetry…his passion had once again been mocked openly. In a word he was pathetic and since Dru had slipped her fangs into his throat, he had shed the shy, weak William with reckless abandon and brought him into a new world. His beloved sister had given him the power to become what he was today.

A killer…a monster.

But in one night and by doing nothing more than treating him like someone who mattered, Buffy had tore down all of his shields and barriers. At first they had both watched each other with cautious eyes both making sure that even the simplest of movements couldn’t be taken as a threat. He was positive that the Slayer had done so in an effort to put him at ease because from the moment he had walked through her door, she had treated him like a guest and not an enemy. She had told him to make himself at home while she made the hot chocolate and she had even asked how many tiny marsh-mellows he would like.

He on the other hand had guarded his movements in an effort to not get himself staked. The entire way to her home he had reconsidered following the hunter into her den…a den that was more than likely stocked with plenty of sharp pointy things. But once he realized he was afraid, he abandoned the careful façade he had adopted and began to be himself. When that didn’t end up getting him staked, he allowed himself to just relax and enjoy the temporary insanity that seemed to have affected them both.

So they sat there on opposite ends of the sofa, drinking cocoa and talking like pals instead of mortal enemies. Both of them had openly mocked the badly dubbed martial arts movie before regaling each other with their own exploits. Not wanting to ruin the mood, he had only brought up his demon kills and she had willingly followed his lead; never once mentioning all of his brethren she had slain.

Then out of nowhere they somehow got to talking about Angel or more accurately telling embarrassing stories about him. He nearly cracked a rib because he laughed so hard as she told him about the way they had met. The thought of her swooping down from the air to knock the magnificent pouf on his arrogant ass was something he would have paid a great deal of money to see first hand.

Apparently his vast amusement led to her feeling somewhat guilty so she launched into a series of Angel saved the day stories. Naturally he had interrupted to tell his own less than favorable Angelus moments and despite her best intentions it wasn’t long before she was doubled over and laughing her pretty little head off.

It wasn’t until she had nodded off halfway though another horribly bad movie that he realized they had both gone to great pains to be just Buffy and Spike and not Slayer and Vampire. But if he was honest with himself he could admit William’s nature had softened his rougher edges as the night had gone on.

Looking at her for a moment, so defenseless and unaware his demon had surged forward intent on making the kill. Silently he had slid across the couch his demonic face highlighted only by the light of the television and laid his hand on her face, fully intending on ripping out her throat. But before he could move his hand down to complete his grisly act, she leaned against his palm and let out a contented sigh.

That single sigh, be it from her dreams or from his touch saved her life.

He was captivated by her and his demon decided that killing her would never be enough. She was to special and rare to merely feed upon, more than anything he wanted to possess her entirely. He wanted her to submit to him willingly and William the last remains of his humanity seconded the idea. So instead of killing her, he now planned his most risky task to date…seducing a Slayer.

He’d play the part of the devoted suitor, ply her with all the attention and affection she seemed to be starving for and THEN he’d kill her. Not permanently of course, he wanted his mate alive and willing…or undead and willing as the case may be. He’d spawned a few childer over the centuries and a few worthless minions but as far as he knew no-one had ever considered let alone managed to sire a Slayer. Probably because the chits were lethal until the very last second of their miserable lives and it wasn’t worth the risk. One wrong move or moment of inattention and she’d take you with her.

He could admit he craved her blood, the ambrosial nectar just beneath the skin but he also wanted her in the way that a man wanted a woman. More than once he had found himself willing his erection away during the time he spent with her because even though she was innocent, she unconsciously moved with the sensual grace of a well trained courtesan.

Every move or gesture, from bending over to grab the remote off the coffee table or curling on the sofa somehow appeared erotic when it was performed by her nubile young body. He reckoned some of it had to do with the fact that being the Slayer made her more aware of her body physically. She had been trained in the precise moments of the deadly arts as relentlessly as a prima ballerina studied the dance and both required perfect placement of every limb. Plus fighting for your life almost nightly gave you a highly defined sense of movement because one slight slip, one dropped shoulder could result in her death.

But he could also tell that some of it was because it was of who she was. She was the kind of girl who could walk into a room a draw every man’s gaze because she positively radiated life but she was unaware of her own worth. During their talk she had mentioned her absentee father and he was willing to bet his neglect and abandonment had contributed to her dumping Angel. The girl wanted to be wanted, needed to be adored and cherished and while Angel may have been to sodden thick to figure that out, he wasn’t.

To kill this girl you’ve got to love her.

Love, the very weakness that Angelus once belittled him for was the key to claiming the girl that had captured both their attention. Despite what Buffy and her little friends thought he knew that soul or no soul, Angelus was still a part of the man they called Angel and knowing that he would succeed where his grandsire hadn’t was just icing on the cake.

So with that firmly set in his mind, he had gotten up to close the curtains before gently easing her into his arms. Then he had used his senses to observe her reaction when she woke up but out of all the things he had been expecting he had no idea it would end with a kiss. That stunning bit of tenderness hadn’t changed his plans, only strengthened his resolve to have her utterly but it certainly made the sacrifices he was prepared to make all that much easier to bare.

Closing his eyes as he heard her coming back down the stairs, he mentally went over his plans.

Chapter 4

“Buffy I think we should talk…” Buffy began to zone out as the all to familiar sentence was said by her Watcher. Thanks to missing half the school day she had been able to avoid her friends; which only shows how badly her world had been flipped upside down lately.

She couldn’t stand being around her human friends and slunk around the halls to avoid them but she had happily spent the night and most of the morning with her mortal enemy.

As the latest Buffy-needs-us-to-tell-her-how-to-live-her-life intervention began, she found herself wishing she had skipped the entire day and just took her chances with Spike. He may kill her but that option seemed infinitely more appealing from where she was sitting right now.

Personally she thought her well meaning friends and slightly overbearing Watcher were the ones who needed help these days. First they didn’t want her to be with Angel and Giles wanted her to dedicate more of her time to slaying. So one would think that now that she was no longer with him and her nights were spent patrolling she’d get a pat on the head or even a cookie. But no…she got lectured instead.

So was it any wonder that spending time with Spike was a better way to pass her short life. Last night with him, she was free to laugh and joke without having to worry about her every word and inflection weighed for potential insanity and badness. He treated her like a person not an errant puppy who needed to be watched constantly so that it didn’t piddle on the carpet.

Hell even her own parents had accepted her independence.

Hank had more or less abandoned her after the divorce because a trouble teen didn’t play into his fancy smanchy day trader image. While her mother, still ignorant of her status as the Slayer had realized that her little girl was no longer dependant on her.

It wasn’t something they ever talked about. It was more like her mother’s intuition had sensed that she had a life of her own and a maturity that seemed to be beyond her seventeen years. Her mother had watched her go from a girl who didn’t care about anything but having this season’s hair to someone responsible and worthy of her trust.

In short her mom seemed to realize she had grown up and considering the fact that she had once burned down a school building, trusting her wasn’t something her mom would do on a whim. Nope, her mom had watched her and understood that she had some sort of higher purpose. Her mother had accepted that without needing to understand where those feeling had come from, knowing that she would tell her when she was ready.

Buffy loved her all the more for it…for just accepting her without having to push her way into her life and mold it to fit her own views of the perfect daughter. It was a true sign of her mother’s love for her because she had been willing to let her go, when she was ready to walk her path alone.

Which was why Buffy had encouraged her mother to resume the life she had put on hold while she had raised her. Joyce had always wanted to own a gallery but she also wanted to study art. That was a passion that had never faded even as the one she had abandoned it for had. Hank was the kind of man who wanted his wife waiting for him with dinner cooked and so Joyce had buried her own ambitions and put her husband and daughter’s needs before her own.

Everything she had learned about being selfless had been from her mother. Joyce had never complained when the marriage had fallen apart nor had she berated her ex-husband in front of her daughter. But Buffy knew she had every reason to, because thanks to her Slayer enhanced hearing she had heard her mother insisting that Hank not only pay the current month’s child support but also the month before. She knew from staying with her dad last summer that he had money coming out of his ears and had absolutely no problem showering it on his hypermammiferous secretary Kimmie.

During that trip Buffy had finally seen her father for the weak and domineering bastard her truly was because it was clear he held back his payments in an effort to make his proud ex-wife humble herself before him by asking him for the money. Joyce shouldn’t have had to beg anyone but she was willing to swallow her pride to ensure that her daughter didn’t have to go without.

The gallery while small, did a pretty swift business but since so much of that money had to go back into the start-up loan Joyce had taken out to purchase her share in it to begin with, as well as the mortgage on the house, money could sometimes be a little tight. Not that they were ever truly poor or anything but more like they got the generic shampoo sometimes instead of the salon crème rinse they both preferred.

Buffy understood that all of Hank’s money was placed in a savings account for her but more than that she understood why her mother wanted to be able to prove that she could give her the same kind of lifestyle they had enjoyed before the divorce. Stubbornness and a need to prove yourself was a Summers' women trait and both she and her mother had it in spades. Despite her mother’s words to the contrary she knew the failure of her marriage had affected her self-confidence and more than anything Buffy wanted to help her fix the damage Hank had brought her.

So when Joyce’s partner, a distinguished and somewhat roguish Scotsman named Duncan had offered her a chance to not only handle buying trips overseas but continue her abandoned studies there as well, Buffy had encouraged her to seize the opportunity. Buffy had only met Duncan MacLeod once, shortly before they had moved to Sunnydale, and while he seemed nice enough, at the time Buffy had unfairly blamed him for the divorce.

He had showed up offering Joyce a partnership in the gallery and she couldn’t help thinking that if he hadn’t, her parents would have worked through their problems. But since hindsight is always 20/20 Buffy was grateful that her mother had a friend who was kind enough to help her mother through a difficult situation but also smart enough to make it look like something other than pity. By not just handing her the job but allowing her to buy her share, Joyce had not only received a fresh start but she was allowed to do it proudly.

At first though her mom had been a little unsure about being gone several weeks at a time but after a long talk in which Buffy promised to call if she needed her Joyce had been willing to atleast discuss the offer with Duncan. Knowing her all to well Duncan had promised her mother that should the need arise he would arrange to have her flown home immediately but he also promised to leave his home in Seacouver if Buffy needed help.

Being a man of his word, Duncan called Buffy almost every other day just to check up on her. Not the you-can’t-be-trusted kind of check-ups but more like a family friend or even a doting uncle calling to make sure everything was going all right.

But if Buffy was a betting person, she would lay down money on Duncan having more interest in her mother than just a ‘friend’. The first time he had called to check on her, she had felt more than a little weird about talking to a virtual stranger so she had broken the ice by asking how he had met her mom.

Apparently when her mother was in college in Washington, she had fallen in love with a miniature portrait in a local gallery. Being a college student she couldn’t afford it right away and instead of letting it go, she had begun to save up all her extra money so that she could purchase it. But by the time she had returned it had already been sold but thanks to a pleading pout and big sad eyes she had convinced the owner to give her the address of the buyer. It ended up bringing her to a dojo where she once again launched into full pout.

According to Duncan, her mother’s pout and big puppy dog eyes look was as effective as her own and he was unable to refuse selling it to her.

It was the start of a beautiful friendship they both would say but since Duncan had a way of saying her mother’s name like it was a whispered prayer Buffy knew her mother hadn’t just gotten her piece of art but also gotten her hooks in Duncan’s heart. But now that Buffy had gotten to know him, she knew that the highlander was a way better man than her real father had ever been. She found herself constantly teasing him to make a move, knowing he’d be good for her mom but one thing she was sure of about Duncan, was that he was one of those guys who’d take his sweet time about it.

But since he’d probably call tonight, it couldn’t hurt to sound him out about what was going on with her and her friends, she decided idly aware of the fact that Giles had handed the floor over to Willow during her internal musings. From the looks of things they seemed to have been delighted with her silence, probably mistaking it for her actually paying attention, and by the looks of things it was almost over.

“We know you’re going through something Buffy but you need to talk about whatever it is that is bothering you.” Willow said gently, pleading her friend with her eyes to reveal whatever secrets were going on in that mind of hers.

It wasn’t hard to see that these little interventions weren’t going to let up anytime soon and since she resented being asked to make her private life not so private she found herself talking Spike’s advice.

‘Show em’ how pointless it is and if you make a big enough impression I reckon it’ll sink in quick enough.’ He had told her with that arrogant little smirk of his. ‘You’re the bloody Slayer, the thing all the beasties fear and you're running because your sodden mates and Watcher want to talk you to death. Grow a spine luv, give it to em’ good and they’ll be the ones to lay off.’

Last night it may have sounded a bit harsh but with them all buzzing at her like fun sucking gnats, she knew if she didn’t do something soon it would only get worse. She had tried being polite, listening to their concerns and complaints and defending her actions but they were not giving her the same courtesy. If she wanted to break up with her boyfriend, she shouldn’t have to explain herself. Chosen One or not it was still her life and if Willow didn’t have to tell the group about her big old crush on Xander, she shouldn’t have to explain her not so crushing, crush on Angel. “I’m on drugs.”

“Pardon me?” Giles asked sharply, looking at her like he had swallowed something slimly and it was trying to climb it’s way back out.

“Come on you had to know it was drugs.” Buffy said struggling to keep her face serious and somber. “I was all mopey and broody and now I’m actually happy so it has to be drugs right? The Chosen One can’t just be happy or make her own choices without it being written in some dusty old book. So it must be drugs, because a good Slayer is a miserable Slayer; happy just doesn‘t fit into the whole martyr for a higher purpose deal. So now I’m just getting high…that’s it I’m a big old stoner druggie. I‘m a fan of Mary Jane, searching for a higher state of consciousness by taking a ride on puff the magic dragon. I wasn‘t late this morning because I might have accidentally just sleep in, it was really because I was up all night with the munchies. But now all these interventions having finally gotten through to me, I have seen the error of my ways. So I promise I’ll go back to skipping my patrols and I‘ll even run out and hook up with another vampire just to restore order to the universe once more.”

“Buffy I don’t find your flippant manner amusing.” Giles said somewhat stiffly but he was doing his best not to laugh. She was really quite clever when she wished to be, he thought more than a little proud of her sarcastic nature. She reminded of himself at her age; which is why he wanted to instill a strong since of discipline in her. He didn’t want her to turn to darkness in a need to escape the harshness of her life.

“And I don’t find these stupid talks amusing.” Buffy said getting to her feet, this time deadly serious. “You guys are suppose to be my friends but since this deal with Angel you’ve been demanding an explanation. I told you that I just didn’t want to be with him anymore and that should have been enough but no, you all want me to pour out my entire heart and soul. You don’t see me telling any of you that you have to pour out your private thoughts or give an explanation for your love lives, so why should I be expected to? I have talked about it with someone and maybe if you hadn‘t all ganged up on me, demanding an explanation, I would have felt comfortable talking it over with you.”

Buffy took a deep breath and looked at Giles. “You are more important to me that my real father ever was but you are also my Watcher. When you asked me if I had any prophetic dreams I told you the truth when I said I hadn’t. It’s obvious that was how you ended up being in these talks about my love life but once I told you what you needed to know, it should have ended there. Since it didn’t, I can only take that to mean you don’t trust me so now I don’t know if I can trust you to be there when I do need you.”

She let him see how much it hurt her to say that to him before turning around and walking out of the library.

“Why did you just let her leave like that?” Xander demanded the second the doors shut closed behind her.

“Because she’s right Xander. Just because she allows us to help her with her birthright that does not give us the right to dictate or question her private affairs. I do not believe that Buffy would ever intentionally place us in danger and once she said there was no cause for concern we should have accepted that.” Giles got to his feet and pulled off his glasses so that he could massage the bridge of his nose.

“But Giles, even you can admit her attitude lately isn’t very Buffy-like.” Willow said. As Buffy’s best friend the fact that she wouldn’t confide in her bothered her and if it wasn’t because there was some big bad on the horizon did it mean that she was rethinking their friendship. She knew first hand how crazy Buffy had been about Angel because they had spent hours talking about him and Xander so the fact that Buffy could just dump him left her a little unsure about who Buffy would dump next. So it had to be something evil…it just had to be, she told herself. “She risked her life to be with him during that whole Darla thing and now she just break up with him out of nowhere there has to be a reason behind it. Doesn‘t there?”

Hearing the unease in her voice, Giles gave her an understanding smile as he finally realized what this all had been about. They were all afraid of losing Buffy in their own way and now it appeared that their own insecurities and issues had inadvertently caused them to push her away. “I’m sure there is but I suspect that it has everything to do with the fact she is a young woman and nothing to do with her being the Slayer.”

“So what was that whole drug riff all about?” Xander asked still not getting it. To him it was very simple, once you got the object of your desires you didn’t just leave them unless there was evil in the mix.

“Perhaps the real reason she parted ways with Angel is embarrassing and she resents the fact that we have been trying to force her to reveal it.” Giles said with a weary sigh. As an unmarried man of his years, this sort of discussion was vastly uncomfortable but if his discomforted would ease things for all of them it would be worth it. “She is a young woman who found herself dating a much older man with centuries of life experience. Perhaps she was not ready for the kind of relationship Angel would expect or just didn’t feel like she could compete with the women of his past due to her own…er…lack of experience.”

Willow flushed a brilliant shade of red once she understood what Giles was trying to say. “You mean that she might have just broken up with him because she was a virgin and he has…well you know…gotten around.”

Finally getting it, Xander leapt to his feet. “I knew it! That bastards been pushing her to give it up and she’s not looking to be another notch on his bedpost! He is soo dusted the next time I see him.”

“Xander, Angel seems like the patient type but it could be that Buffy was just afraid that if they did it…she you know, wouldn’t be good enough.” Suddenly feeling guilty she shot Giles a desperate look. “And all this time we’ve been trying to make her admit that. We’re horrible friends.”

Seeing her point and knowing exactly how embarrassing it would be to admit something like that, Xander couldn’t help seconding her opinion. “Man, we are lousy friends. That kind of thing should only be between a girl and her diary, so it‘s not a big surprise she made with the crazy talk.”

“But we can fix it right?” Willow asked quickly. “I mean we just go to her and tell her we understand or tell Angel and maybe he…”

“Actually I think we have interfered enough as it is.” Giles said interrupting her with a pointed look. “If she wishes to share such private information with him it should be her choice alone. I think the best thing we can do right now is give her a little space.”

Chapter 5

“Buffy I think we should talk…” Buffy blinked for a moment and not just because he was still at her house but also because that sentence has definitely been seeing to much play time.

“Not you too.” She cried out dramatically as she placed the back of her hand against her forehead. All day she had prepared herself to come home to an empty house and she had even managed to convince herself that it was what she wanted. A light snack, some study time and possibly even a little TV after patrol. She didn’t need excitement, she was the Slayer her life was exciting enough as it was. So it would be exhausting to have anything more than a boring home life. She really was delusional, because she had been home less than two minutes and it was already way better than what she had talked herself into. “You were my last hope and now you’ve gone and joined the intervention tribe!”

“You’re awfully chipper, figured you stake me as soon as you walked in the door.” He said struggling to match her light tone. He had seen the resignation on her face when she walked through the doors. It was like she was on her way to the gallows and he assumed he was the reason for it but if her bright smile and playful manner were anything to go on, it was safe to say she liked finding him here.

Buffy sobered somewhat and couldn’t stop the sadness she felt from showing on her face. “Right because I’m the Slayer…sacred destiny and all.”

Bloody hell, the girl was a merry-go-round of emotion he thought stepping closer to her. “If it helps, I’m glad you didn’t. I’m a bit partial to walking around and such…especially when I can see you smiling at me like you were a few minutes ago.”

Buffy looked into his eyes a moment and what she saw there assured her he was being sincere. He had the same shadow of confliction in his eyes, that she had seen in her own this morning. She was glad to know that she wasn’t the only one confused as hell about this…whatever it was but she was also a little scared to see such genuine emotion hidden in the depths of his eyes. If it had just been her, she could go on pretending nothing had changed but if he was also as lost as she was it would be real. Possibly even painful when it was all said and done with. Hesitantly, afraid that she had fallen asleep in class and had imaged this day, she reached up to place her hand against his face.

Feeling the chill of his skin leech into her hand, stealing her warmth she had to choke back a sob. That’s all they’d have, a few stolen moments of life meeting death. “I like what I see when you look at me.”

“What’s that luv?” He asked stepping forward to close the distance between them. He watched the emotions chase across her eyes and while he could see the fear lingering there it was no match for the yearning that was slowly chasing it away.

“I see you.”

Her words and the smile gracing her lips slammed into him harder than her tiny fists ever had. For more than a century he had buried William away but somehow when this girl was around, she always seemed to find him in the darkest of shadows. All of the careful plans he had made this morning slipped from his mind like grains of sand, so now instead of seducing her, he was the one being seduced.

The need to possess her was still there but he had no desire to bruise the delicate petals of the rare flower before him. Some flowers you plucked, killing them so that you could possess their beauty for a short while but eventually the fragrance would fade and the petals would wither. Stealing her away into death for his own enjoyment would do the same thing to her…in time she’d wilt. The golden sheen of her skin would lose it’s luster and while she’d live on, she crumble long before her body became ash.

She was not meant for death but for life. It filled every fiber of her being and it was the fire inside her eyes. Then demon would poison that, like some virulent disease eating her away from the inside so that nothing but the flawless shell of her beauty would remain. He'd have nothing but a pale imitation of the one his body and wasted heart had come to crave and the original he so coveted would always be forever beyond his grasp.

Howling internally from the crux of fate he had somehow find himself in, he wished he could have met her in another life because in this one what he wanted was impossible. If he had not died in that alley, he wouldn’t be standing before her now but it was that same choice that stood between them now. Vampire, immortal, demon to woman, mortal and Slayer; no matter how you said it or what label you used it all meant the same thing.

Doomed.

But he’d been damned long before this moment and until the fires of hell itself came to claim him he wouldn’t deny himself the only kind of heaven he could possibly know. “What do you see when you look at me Buffy because I am not a good man? Point in fact, I’m not a man at all. I am a demon and while Angel may try to deny what he is, I never will.”

“I know what you are Spike and I know what I am and what I’m suppose to do. But when I look at you now, nothing else seems to matter.” Buffy admitted closing the last bit of distance between them. “It’s killing me to feel this way but I feel like I’m finally waking up from a long dream. Like this life, this reality wasn’t real or maybe it was just me who wasn’t, until I woke up this morning laying next to you. Then everything just clicked into place and the shadows were gone and I could see the light again. There‘s so much darkness in my life, so much pain and I know it will only get worse before it finally ends…which is why I can‘t stop myself from seizing this moment while I can. So you have to do it Spike, you have to shove me away, disgusted by what I am because I can‘t…I can‘t run away from you again.”

“Is that what you want from me Buffy…to walk away?” Spike asked lowering his face down to hers and stopping just before their lips could meet. “Because I’m a bad rude man and if I get a taste of you pet, I won’t let you go. So if we do this, there‘s no going back to the way things were before. We‘ll fight, we‘ll shag and sometimes we‘ll hate each other until it makes us quiver but we‘re going to be in this till it kills us both. Because once were in each other‘s blood, it‘ll scream inside us until we work it‘s will. So if you can‘t handle that, you‘d best go back to your noble souled pet vampire and his cold embraces. I won’t have you tell your little mates I took you against your will, so you’ve gotta make the choice and accept the consequences. You wanted fire luv, you wanted heat and I’m offerin’ you flames that will never burn out.”

His words shivered across her skin like a silken caress and may the Powers help her but she couldn’t resist him. All Eve had to do was resist a stupid apple but her forbidden delight was a blue eyed devil with a voice sultrier than the hottest summer night. Closing her eyes, she prayed to whatever power that was suppose to be guiding her to be merciful before tilting up his lips and committing herself to the wicked dance of her desires.

At the first taste of her, he let out a savage growl as he pulled her closer against him. He told himself he would be gentle, ease her in to things but the lust and need that had turned her pale eyes the color of the finest emeralds; gentle was just another impossibility they have to figure out a way to master with their wills alone.

She kissed as though she was trying to devour him, drink down his essence as surely as he drank down his victims blood and with her blunt teeth capturing his bottom lip, he was more than willing.

Which was when she suddenly pulled away.

“Spike…we need to talk.” She said more than a little breathlessly. But while her words said one thing her hands had taken it upon themselves to slide beneath the soft cotton shirt he wore. Hello salty goodness, Buffy thought stroking her hand across his defined and brutally cut abdomen. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth she reined in her hormones and looked up at him. “I can’t be the only one to surrender here…”

He captured her lips in another torrid kiss.

She pressed herself against him, molding her warm curves against his cold form and when she let out a trembling moan he was the one to pull away. “You were saying pet?”

Shaking her head to clear the haze away from her thoughts, she tried to remember what was more important than kissing him. When that approach didn’t work, she took a deep breath and concentrated on the hum his presence played on her other senses. She wanted this, man she wanted this but she had always been good at self-preservation. “I can accept what you are Spike but can you say the same thing? You can’t stop being a vampire but you don’t have to be a monster. So if I‘m prepared to lose everyone that matters to me just to be with you, are you prepared to make a few sacrifices of your own? I wasn‘t going to start this because I didn‘t want to be the one who caged you but I want all or nothing. If the kill means more, than this can end only one way…no more pretending. I want you but I'm not willing to pay for it by letting you spill innocent blood.”

Damn, he was hoping he’d have a little more time before she started in on this. He knew it was inevitable, it was something he had even prepared himself for but he had planned on atleast one more kill before the Slayer part of her being pushed down her human emotions. “I won’t go on animal blood but as long as you’re conscious can handle me drinking human from a bag instead of the source I won’t drink from anyone but you. Like you said pet, all or nothing. I don‘t just want you‘re luscious little body, but your blood as well.”

“You want a cow and a whore.” Buffy said coldly.

He chuckled slightly, wrapping his arms even more tightly around her tiny little waist. “No luv, I can get blood and sex anywhere but I want you. I know you’ll never allow me to turn you and to be honest I don’t want just a demon wearin’ your skin but I still want you as my mate. That means until you die, no one touches you but me. I‘ll protect you with my life, cherish your body with my own and I‘ll even help you in your fight against my kind but you‘ll belong to me and me alone.”

“Normally that kind of talk involves a shiny ring.” Buffy teased, hoping to lighten the suddenly seriousness in his voice. She had barely had enough time to accept she felt something for him and now he was talking about something that seemed an awful lot like marriage. Only instead of divorce the only way to escape would be into death. “For an immortal guy, you sure as hell don’t take things slow.”

“I’m not an idiot luv, once your pals and the magnificent pouf find out about us and they will, they’ll do everything they can to convince you this is wrong…dirty. They tell you that I can’t be trusted and even that I’m just using you and if that doesn’t work they'll move on to making you feel guilty and ashamed. Can’t kill me of course, cause they won’t want to make you hate them.”

“So what you’re really saying is that you don‘t think I‘m strong enough to fight for what I want.” Buffy asked unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. “That all my life is, one fight after another and I haven’t backed down yet and I won‘t start now. ”

“I know how strong you are pet, your bloody reputation speaks for itself.” Spike said reaching up to cradle her face in his hands. “But once we’ve claimed each other, it’ll create a bond between us that can’t be broken. Word is your Watcher ain’t one to send you off into danger while sitting in his cozy office with a cuppa. He’ll know what the claim means and square things with your mates or I hope that‘s how it happens. He may not like it to begin with but once he realizes I‘ll be protecting his Slayer, instead of trying to kill her I think he‘ll come around.”

“You sound like you put a lot of thought into this.” Buffy said more than a little amazed at how he wouldn’t let a little thing like destiny stand in his way.

“Told you I wanted to talk.” He said leading her over to the couch and settling her down on his lap. “I woke up reaching for you and that wasn’t something I wanted to go through again. But the pouf will want to take you back for himself, claim or not.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” She said softly, the bitterness in his words was impossible to miss or to fake. Is was only a tone of someone who had a wound that had festered for centuries could possess.

“Because of the soul, he’s already a rogue amongst our kind. Just like I will be once word gets around that I joined up with the Slayer but that’s not why he’ll try to take you from me. Soul or not I’m certain that some part of the sadistic bastard is still inside him and I won’t play that game with him again. He didn’t just take my sister and break her mind, he also took another bint I thought wanted me alone; just to prove he could. Cecily was the only childe I ever made and I was preparing her to be my mate and consort but that bastard Angelus promised her the moon and stars and she went to him like a bitch in heat. He didn‘t claim her, he just used her and then just like the other women he took to his bed, he tossed her aside. She just disappeared…never did hear what happened to the chit.”

From the way he was talking it was clear to see that he was offering her so much and it wasn’t wrong for him to protect himself as well. She never stopped to think of how the demon community might take him being involved with her and unlike her human friends, who weren’t really a threat to him, some big bad vampire marching in the vamp pride parade will put Spike at the top of his hit list. Despite all the differences between them it was surprising to see they had some common ground as well.

She never expected him to want to fight beside her, once he said he wouldn’t kill she wouldn’t have dreamed to ask for more, but it would be nice to not be the only one out there night after night.

Despite the fact she was surrounded by people who cared about her, she led a lonely existence. It was true that they all pitched in when things were really bad but more than once she had limped home broken and bleeding when a routine patrol ended up putting the odds against her. As good as she was, the vampires and demons she faced were an equal match to her own strength and reflexes; which is why training was so important. But all the skill in the world couldn’t save her if she was alone and vastly outnumbered. Unlike the cheesy show she and Spike had watched last night, the bad guys don’t patiently sit on the sidelines awaiting their turns. Their sole purpose is to take her life and most of them don’t have a problem asking their buddies to help. But because her friends weren’t trained and very ill equipped she usually talked them out of patrolling with her. Partly to keep them safe but also because she couldn’t afford to be distracted when she was busy fighting for her own life.

Angel on the other hand could hold his own but he had a habit of only showing up for the big things they were prepared to face. He never left her side when the Anointed one sent those bounty hunters after her but once the threat had passed he didn’t regularly join her for patrols. She assumed it was because he wanted her to be self-reliant but damn, it got tiring being the strong one all the time. Slayer’s don’t get vacation time and she was always on the clock so it would be nice to have someone around to help her carry what was an enormous burden…plus with Spike around there was the potential for more than a few blood boiling kisses.

Her date with Owen and even the party she had attended with Cordy had proved to her dating and Slaying were not mixy things. Demons were really rude about popping in and shattering the illusion of normalcy she was growing tired of clinging to like her sole lifeline. So atleast that was one area of their relationship that wouldn't be a problem.

But she did have one last normal thing in her life and she didn’t know how having a possessive vampire mate would go over. “I don’t suppose you have some brilliant plan to convince my mom that her seventeen year old daughter is more or less married but that her mate happens to be a vampire?”

“Your mum doesn’t know?’ Spike asked unable to keep the shock off his face. Having the Slayer for a daughter just didn’t seem like the kind of thing a person could miss even if she had a habit of being out of town.

“I kinda surprised the Council when I was called, so they didn’t get to take me away and brainwash me like they normally do. My first Watcher Merrick understood that I was different so he was willing to compromise and so is Giles. Mom picked up a nasty case of Sunnydale denialitis. So unless a demon pops out and attacks, she doesn’t seem to notice things aren’t normal around here and since I do my own laundry, she never gets to see all the blood on my clothes.” Buffy admitted laying back against him, to rest her head against his shoulder.

“We’re gonna have to tell her pet but I think she’d be relieved to know that her daughter the protector also has someone watching her back.” Spike said gently. “I understand why you want to go on the way you are. I don’t reckon many people treat you like a normal person but if some nasty gets it in his head to hurt her to get to you, it’s safer for her to know.”

He saw Buffy wince slightly and it suddenly occurred to him that it had already happened. Feeling like a complete ass, he tilted up her face and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. “I’ve got you now pet, I won’t let anyone hurt you or your mum. I promise you that luv.”

Letting out a gentle sigh she gave him a wan smile, somehow knowing that if Spike made a promise he’d keep it. “I just hate it that you're right. If I had told her the truth, Darla couldn't have pulled her little set up and if mom had died it would have been my fault. I always thought the less she knew the better but she can’t protect herself if she doesn’t know what’s out there. Besides, it’d be nice to be able to be honest with her. I know she’s always been disappointed about how I stopped sharing things with her since I was called, so who knows maybe telling her would also be just strengthen our relationship even more. She‘s all I really have left, both her and dad were only children and both their parents are dead.”

Spike stroked his hand down her back trying to give her some measure of comfort and found it hard to believe that only last night he had been disgusted with Angel for dallying with the Slayer. Somehow his entire universe had shifted in a blink of an eye and she was the center of it. Nothing seemed more important that seeing her smile or holding her in his arms and if he was going to be love’s bitch, he’d atleast be man enough to admit it. He didn’t think things would ever be smooth and easy for them but somehow he just knew she was worth it. “You’ve got me now luv and I’m not saying I’ll never piss you off or go off on snit but when I promised you forever I meant it.”

Chapter 6

“Buffy Summers, my favorite delinquent.” Snyder said with a smug smile gracing his rat like face. Ever since he had become principal he had waited for this moment; waited for her to take that one step to far so he could send her spiraling out of his building.Today was that day. “I assume you know why you’re here.”

“I’m sorry about the classes I missed but my mom’s out of town and I slept through my alarm.” Buffy said calmly, giving him the excuse that she had worked out to cover her absence yesterday. Don't give him a reason to make it worse, she repeated over and over again inside her head.

“That’s not why you’re here Summers. Skipping class is one of your lesser offenses at this fine institution but this recent transgression is something I simply can’t ignore.”

Buffy furiously wracked her mind for what she could have done to put Snyder in such an euphoric mood but even though she was coming up blank, she knew that if he was happy her life was about to become very miserable. “Honestly I have no idea why I’m here, except for the missing class thing.”

“Spare me.” Snyder said his smile becoming sharper by the minute as she shifted in her seat. “Mrs. Callum approached me about the homework assignment you turned in.”

“Wait since when does doing my homework get me a lovely little visit with you?” You rotten little troll man, she added silently before once again reminding herself to remain calm.

“Normally you actually applying yourself would be a landmark event but after grading your paper it was very clear that you cheated somehow. My first thought was that you had convinced Miss Rosenberg to do the assignment for you but Mrs. Callum said that your paper was superior to even hers. Naturally given your solid D average in English literature, you earning such high marks is suspicious. So either you admit which website you downloaded your paper from and accept the failing mark for trying to pass it off as your own original work or I’ll have no other choice than to suspend you.” Snyder said his voice talking on the fervent tone of someone whose fondest wish had come true.

“Excuse me, you can’t suspend me for actually earning an A.” Buffy said coldly completely forgetting about trying to remain calm. It was clear he was going to bust her on this crap one way or another and since hitting him was out, she could atleast drop her obedient act.

“Ah but you didn’t earn it and that much is obvious.” Snyder said pleased to see her getting angry. He was hoping that if he pushed her hard enough she would do something violent enough to allow him to expel her. “So since your other papers prove that you are not only mediocre but a spectacular failure in the class, I’ve got more than enough proof to back up my suspicious. While all you have is your word for it and thanks to your colorful permanent record, it’s clear that your word is meaningless.”

“You are such a pathetic little man.” Buffy said getting to her feet. “I did not cheat on the assignment but it’s obvious you couldn’t care less. You’ve just been itching for a reason to pull something like this, just so that your miserable life has some meaning.”

“I’d watch your tone young lady; you are already on thin ice and it would be all to easy to extend your suspension from three days to five.” Snyder said his face purpling slightly as he did his best to contain his own rising anger.

“You know what, I don’t have to listen to this crap. Do whatever the hell you want.” Without bothering to ask for permission to leave his vile presence, Buffy crossed the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Unable to leave her rage behind she stalked down the hall towards her lit class. Throwing open the door and not giving a damn about the class full of students staring at her like she had grown a particularly ugly head she crossed over to where her teacher was sitting and slammed her hands down on the desk. “I know I’m not exactly a genius but forgive me for daring to actually apply myself on an assignment. I thought the whole purpose of coming to school was to learn something but the first time I bust my ass to earn a good grade I’m instantly accused of cheating.”

“I think you’ve said quite enough Buffy.” Miss Callum told her crisply her face laced with shock.

“Buffy…” Willow said getting to her feet and laying her hand on her best friends arm. She knew that look on Buffy’s face and it had sent big scary demons screaming and if she was using it on a teacher as well as cussing, it was clear that something majorally bad had happened.

Shrugging her off Buffy continued glaring at her teacher. Snyder had sent two years of resentment and anger surging to the surface and since she was going to be punished either way, she’d rather it be for something she had actually done. So at this moment she didn’t care that the other students would tell this story over and over again, making her even more of a freak than she already was. It also meant she wasn’t about to let her best friends concern harness her temper. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t and if she was going to go out, she wasn’t about to do it quietly. “You bend over backwards for the smart kids, the kids that don’t need your help but when it comes to the average students like me you don’t bother. God forbid you actually have to teach something, I mean it’s not like their paying you or anything…oops I guess they are. I want you to know I read the whole damn book and I fucking wrote every single word on that paper, because someone actually cared enough about me to do your job for you.”

“Don’t you lie to me missy, that paper bordered on brilliant and that is something you are not. It showed an understanding of the subject that you have never once managed to grasp which is why I reported it to Principal Snyder and believe me young lady I will tell him about this as well.” She snapped back, completely confident that Buffy had cheated. She prided herself on knowing which students were worthy of her extra attention and which ones had no desire to learn and Buffy Summers was in latter category.

“Do you really think I give a damn anymore?” Buffy asked snidely. “I was going to be suspended either way and if earning good grades is enough to have that happen, why in the hell should I even bother trying when I come back. I mean if I actually do well, I’ll be punished and when I don’t I’m punished. So what in the hell is the point? Why bother coming to school at all because it’s pretty damn clear that you're not the only teacher I have that thinks I am beneath their notice. But you’re not completely stupid are you Miss Callum, you know that Sunnydale isn’t like other towns don’t you.”

She blanched slightly but recovered quickly. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Buffy gave her a chillingly sadistic smile that would make the devil himself proud. “Sure you do, what with all the neck ruptures and gangs on PCP running around. If you ask around you’ll find out I usually show up when things get bad and when I don’t, people have a nasty habit of becoming just another statistic. So maybe one night after you find yourself alone after dark and a disfigured face comes towards you out of the shadows, I’ll decide you’re beneath my notice.”

Willow wasn’t the only one who sucked in a ragged breath at her words or sinister tone but Buffy’s eyes never left Mrs. Callum’s face. Buffy wasn’t a complete idiot, people may not talk about it because it would be like admitting their nightmares were real but she knew she had saved enough people in this sorry town to earn a reputation of sorts. When things got scary, people were used to her sweeping in to kick ass and while she was only bluffing, she still had a point to make.

Slowly drop by drop she watched the anger fade from the woman’s eyes to be replaced by raw fear. While the sight didn’t give her any pleasure she wasn’t about to back down. She had died for this world and for once she wasn’t going to pretend that she didn’t matter. If this had happened to any other student, one without a Slayer related record, they would have been praised for working so hard but since it was her, every teacher would instantly think the worst. She knew damn well from the almost tangible wave of anxiety pouring off of her teacher, that she knew she wasn’t like her other students and instead of cutting her the slightest bit of slack, she didn’t even try to help her. If she was concerned about the paper, she could have had her come back after school to discuss it and instead she went to the Principal without bothering to give her a chance to explain her side of things. Buffy knew that on the surface it did look bad but if the teacher had just talked to her, it would have been clear that she had a firm handle on the subject of the paper. Anyone could download an essay but actually talking about things not mentioned in the paper should have been more than enough to prove that even if she had help, which she did, the final product was completely hers.

She’d heard the stories whispered in the halls about Buffy saving people but until the moment she never allowed herself to admit they were nothing less than the truth. Because if you admitted that this tiny girl faced the creatures that roamed the streets once the sun set, you couldn’t deny the harsh reality that living in Sunnydale truly was. Even if she believed that it was a gang causing so much trouble, she carefully avoided the shadows and only went to places where there were lots of people around but Buffy's words still chilled her to the bone. Death was a very real possibility in this town, the two page obituaries and numerous cemeteries weren’t something you could really miss, but the thought of being alone in the dark without a single hope of being rescued was more than enough to force her out of her habitual bubble of denial. “You‘d let me die?” Mrs. Callum asked finally, her voice thin and reedy.

“No I wouldn’t because I actually care about other people. No matter how I feel about someone personally, I won‘t let anyone die without a fight.” Buffy shot back her anger rapidly fading away and leaving her raw and exposed. “I’ve never asked for anyone to thank me for saving their life and I sure as hell don’t expect a parade in my honor but I don’t think it’s wrong to expect a little compassion. Here you are asking me if I’d be willing to risk my life for you but you couldn’t even be bothered to see if I cheated on a paper or not. I may not have much of a future, because girls like me usually don’t make it to twenty-five but that doesn’t give you the right to make my life any harder than it already is.”

Afraid of what she might say next Buffy spun on her heal to go, completely unaware of the fact that some of her classmates had been crying silently as her pain had reached out to touch them. All she could think about was escaping and her vision had narrowed down so that all she could see was her way out. Halfway to her goal she heard her teacher call out her name but she never stopped going. She was running very close to empty as the full weight of her situation consumed her and all she could feel was the coldness deep inside her bones.

_________________________

“Bloody hell pet, what’s happened?” Spike asked leaping to his feet as she staggered into her house like she had taken a beating from a horde of demons. Everything from her stooped shoulders and the bleakness that covered nearly all of her natural scent, screamed that she had been defeated, possibly broken and it was to much for him to bare. Whatever had done this to his girl, was going to have it come back on them times ten he decided as he pulled her into her arms.

Tearfully Buffy told him everything that had happened and everything she had said. “I shouldn’t have asked you to help me, another D would have been better than my more than likely expulsion. My mom’s just started to trust me again and I just had to make things worse. I couldn’t just sit there and take it, no I just had to prove what a major screw up I was. It was just like everything I had been holding back just broke free all at once and I couldn‘t stop myself. God Spike, I more or less threatened to watch as my teacher got eaten; what kind of sick freak does that?”

Shaking her firmly, he waited until she lifted her tear filled eyes to his own. “Listen to me Buffy, no one has the right to treat you like you’re nothing. You’ve given up so much of yourself to you’re calling and you’ve been forced to place a happy smile on your face and pretend that everything’s fine and dandy. But it doesn’t stop it from hurtin pet, the pain is always going to be there and if you don’t face it…it’ll consume you like it did today. Anyone whose spent any time with you can see that you’re a creature of emotion.” He placed his hand over her heart and smiled down at her. Personally he though the bitch got what she deserved and it would serve her right if Buffy carried out her threat but he knew his girl didn’t have it in her to walk away if someone was in danger. They had spent hours last night just talking about their lives and he knew that every person she was to late to save haunted her. All those ghosts were like slashes on her very soul and no matter how long she lived be it five more years or a hundred, those wounds would never heal completely. She‘d never allow herself to forget. It was that purity, that selflessness that had kept her alive this long. No matter how badly she may want to let herself get taken, she‘d force herself to fight and survive because people would always be counting on her to save them.

All Slayers have a death wish, given how they lead their lives it’s not that big of surprise but he knew his girl didn’t yet and if he had anything to say about it she never would. She wanted to live, to go on no matter how shitty her life was. She’d felt death enter her during the battle with the Master and some part of her remembers the cold black emptiness that had carried her away. “You feel everything so strongly luv because you’ve accepted you don’t have an infinite amount of time to experience everything before this stops. You’ve tested your mortality once, so you understand how precious life is and you want to take it all inside you until the bitter end. That power, that zest for life gives you a strength the other Slayers I faced didn’t have but it also weakens you in ways they wouldn’t understand. They were raised to be a Slayer, to accept that their life would be all about the mission but no matter what fate wants to deny you, you won’t just let it happen. Just like you could let today happen. You’re a fighter Buffy and no matter how many times you’ve managed to bite your tongue before, if you’re kicked often enough, you’re eventually going to kick back. That doesn‘t make you a bad person pet, it just makes you a little more human.”

Burring her face in his chest she took comfort in his words and his arms firmly wrapped around her, sheltering her from the pain that followed her home but not even he could undo the damage she had done. “Please Spike just make me forget. I can’t stop what’s going to happen but I can’t deal with it right now either. All my emotions are crackling inside my body like static that I can’t tone out and I just want it to stop, even just for a moment. I just want it to stop.”

He held her close a few seconds trying to decide the right way to tend to her before he scooped her into his arms and headed towards the stairs. He was so focused on the trembling bundle in his arms that he never even registered the phone ringing. Fire could rain down from the sky and until she stopped crying, nothing else mattered.


‘Beep’

“Buffy this is Giles, Willow informed me about what occurred today and I must say I am very concerned about you. I fully intend to take this matter up with Snyder but Willow wanted you to know that your teacher believes you now and also intends on asking the bastard to resend his punishment. I won’t say you were in the right but after reading the paper you turned in, I can understand why you reacted the way you did. It’s obvious you put a great deal of effort into it and I am extremely proud of you. Call me as soon as you get in.”

“Beep”

“Buffy this is Mindy Adams…I heard about what happened at school today and I just wanted to well…I just wanted to say thank you. You probably don’t remember saving me from that…thing but I know the only reason I’m here today is because of you. So…well thanks.”

“Beep”

“Oh my god Buffy I can’t believe you did that. I’ll admit I was a little worried cause you talked back to a teacher but you actually got through to her. Giles said he’d call you but he sometimes forgets stuff so I wanted to let you know she’s not mad at you and she totally believes you now. She also gave me your paper, because I think she didn’t want Snyder to get his hands on it and when I read it I really understand why you kinda flew off the handle. So if you wanna talk or want me to come over with sugary treats, just give me a call.”


“Beep”

“Miss Summers this is Mr. Paulson your economics teacher. Mrs. Callum called me this evening and I realized that I haven’t exactly be fair in my treatment of you this year. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need any extra help on one of my assignments, I would be more than willing to meet with you before or after school. Don’t worry about handing in today’s paper, I’m sure that today was hard on you and if I can excuse the athletes I can certainly extend the same courtesy to you.”

“Beep”

“Buffy this is Giles again. I took the liberty of contacting Angel and he was more than willing to patrol for you tonight. So why don’t you try to get some rest and let me deal with this situation. Please call me as soon as you get in, so that I can assure myself that you are alright.

“Beep.”

“Hey Buff it’s me Xander and I guess you're not in a real talky mood right now. But man you’re totally my idol. You have no idea how many times I wanted to stand up to one of my teachers like that but according to Wills you stood up for all us mediocre students today. Go you! So hey if you feel like talking or just need a friendly shoulder to cry on, give me a call.”

“Beep.”

“Buffy, you don’t know me but my name is Ryan Markes and I heard about what happened in Mrs. Callum’s class and I had to call you. Last October I was walking home and this scaly thing jumped out at me and just when I thought I was gonna die you showed up. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am, I was too scared to say anything that night but I still thought you’d want to know.”

“Beep.”

“Buffy this is Angel, Giles told me what happened and if you need me to be there for you don’t hesitate to call me. I know we’re not together anymore sweetheart, but I still care a great deal about you and knowing that you are hurting, bothers me. I won’t say I understand why you ended things but I can understand how you might need a little time or just some space. Things happened between us pretty quickly and given all that you’ve been through I can see how it all must have become more than a little overwhelming. But I want you to know that even if we’re not together it doesn’t change how I feel about you. So please, if you need me, even as just a friend, don’t be afraid to call me.”

“Beep.”

“It’s Giles again, I can only assume that you haven’t returned my earlier calls because you don’t wish to talk about things yet. It’s now eight and I’ll admit I drove by your place and saw that all the lights were off. I pray that you took my advice and went to bed but I’ll admit I am worried about you. Sadly I nor your teacher were able to convince Snyder to lift your punishment but I am far from through with the bastard. As it is now, you aren’t allowed on school grounds until this matter is resolved but I plan on takng this to the school board first thing in the morning. Please ring me back first thing when you wake up, no matter the hour.”

Cordelia slammed down the phone in irritation. She had been trying to get through to Buffy all damn day but her phone was constantly busy. Her little stunt today was the talk of the whole school and according to the chatter at the Bronze, Buffy was the current it girl. Sure what had happened to her totally bit the big one but since her own popularity had taken a few dents because she had pitched in to help Buffy and her little gang of rejects, it was about time she got something in return. She knew how fast this little scene would be forgotten and Buffy would soon be labeled the freak girl again but until then, she fully intended to get her piece of the limelight.

Besides it wasn’t like she had never done anything for her. She had gotten her into a college party for cripes sake and it wasn’t her fault they almost gotten eaten by that snake thing. That was her Cordy thought picking up the phone again, she was a giver.

Chapter 7

Spike laid her down on the bed; her withdrawn and defeated state tore at his demon filling it with rage. Not at her, it was the overwhelming need to protect her by punishing those that had harmed her. From the stories, the demons told about her and the ones she had told herself, he had no doubt you was one of the best Slayers ever called, possible even the best of them all. He had never heard of one being as feared but it was the fact they didn’t just talk about the Slayer guarding the hellmouth, they called her Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was a sign of respect to use her title and soon she would have another. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, consort of William the Bloody.

He liked the way it sounded, very regal and all that rot but as the new Master of the Order of Aurelius, some measure of pomp and circumstances were to be expected. He’d come to town to defeat the Slayer who’d inadvertently killed the two vamps keeping him from the head of the order only to find himself inexplicable drawn to her. The night they met, he had been exploring the town and she had come out of the darkness, spitting fire from her eyes and all but aching for a good fight. Before he’d had enough time to come up with a suitably sarcastic greeting she had socked him in the nose and changed both their lives forever.

Now that proud and lethal warrior was humbled and broken.

Not by his kind but by the same pathetic humans she was chosen to protect. What he couldn’t understand was that if he, a soulless demon, could see something inside her, something powerful enough to have him willingly forgo the kill, how could the humans that had done this to her not?

Brushing his hand through her hair, he watched her sleeping so soundly as the events of the day had caught up to her. She had been out cold before he’d even made it to her room and while he had other ways of soothing her on his mind, he didn’t have the heart to wake her. Mortal or not he had promised her forever and no matter what he had to do, he’d find some way from saving her from death. Nevertheless, since that was a matter for another day, he decided to focus on what he could take care of.

Leaning over he picked up the phone off the bedside table and dialed.

“Spike is that you?”

“Yeah mum, I didn‘t mean to make you worry.” Spike said smirking slightly.

“You just disappeared; we all figured the Slayer got you.” James shot back wondering if his oldest friend would ever change. “Elizabeth was worried sick and when my girl’s unhappy so am I. So where in the hell have you been?”

“Slayer got me.”

“That bitch! When...”

Spike snarled into the phone to cut him off before he went too far. “Watch it. That’s my girl and you're soon to be mistress that you’re talking about.”

“Did you feed off a junkie or something, cause you’re not making any sense?”

Spike quickly filled him in on everything that had been going on over his two-day absence and he couldn’t resist bragging about some of her kills.

“You turned a Slayer.” James said softly his voice laced with awe and a good dose of shock.

“Nah mate, I like her being alive but I am going to claim her.”

“Are you insane?” James yelled into the phone, finally hearing too much. “She’ll kill us all and I’m not about to let my girl die because you’re thinking with your dick. That bastard Angelus nearly cost me her life and you know...YOU KNOW...that is why we left the fold. If you want to turn her that‘s fine but don‘t expect us to stick around if you don‘t. You know how those girls are and once she finds out you took out two of her predecessors she’ll dust you.”

Spike let out a sigh but knew that if anyone in this world would understand it would be James. “She knows the truth about me. Knows what I am and what I've done but she still wants me anyway. I told her I won’t kill and I meant it. She‘s not like the others James, this girl different. ”

“How can you do that, you need the violence, the hunt?”

“What would you do for Elizabeth?” Spike asked him softly, not expecting an answer because he already knew it. James would do anything for his love, his mate and so would Spike. “As for the hunt, told the girl I’d help her guard the bloody hellmouth. I don’t reckon it makes a difference if I spill demon blood instead of human. Bloodshed is still bloodshed mate.”

“I understand.” James said after a few seconds. “Is that why you’re calling to warn us?”

“No, there was something I wanted you to do for me.”

“Would you have called if she was coming?” James asked, needing to know if his friend’s loyalty was as strong as he always thought it was. He could understand him doing what he had to for love but that didn’t mean he had to betray his friends.

“Bloody hell, you know I would. I told you when you joined up with me that I’d protect you and your bird and nothing changes that. I’m not the only one with a choice to make you lot need to decide which matters to you more; the kill or your unlives.” Spike said getting a little impatient. He didn’t know how long she would be asleep and he had a reason for calling; this wasn’t it. He had planned to tell his family personally but James never was the patient type. “I figured we’d raid the hospital supplies for now but I planned on setting up one of those blood banks like they have in Europe. So we’d have our own fresh stock. My girl is adamant about not letting her humans get hurt but she can’t complain about us paying them for their blood. It would only take a week or so to set up in one of the buildings Nest owned around here and since money isn’t a problem, we can bribe the right officials to get the permits we’d need. So mate, you need to decide if the kill means more to you than a safe haven for you and your mate. If you or anyone else can’t stomach the new rules, then you should leave. If you feed in this town, even once, my girl will do her job.”

James laughed softly and shook his head. “I guess you were thinking with you’re brain after all. Then again, your plans do have a way of going wrong, so I guess Lizzy and I had better stick around to help that new girl of yours keep you out of trouble.Always did want to meet a Slayer and live to talk about it. But I'll let the others know that's how the wind blows now. I‘m pretty sure Dalton will stay but I bet Penn takes off or will try to challenge you. He never did like you but without Angelus around to keep him safe, I figure he’ll want to save his own skin first.”

“I’d rather the bastard leave, so make it clear that his fun and games are out as well; no humans are to be hurt or tasted. If it’s a fight he’s wanting, I’d be more than happy to dust the sot...never did like him. As for the minions, they belonged to the Annoying One and I don’t care what happens to them, so leave them out of the loop. This news is for family only but since I haven’t actually claimed the chit yet, I don’t want Peaches to find out until it’s said and done with. So tell Penn to keep his yap shut; he swore loyalty to me years ago and even if he always fancied Angelus, he’ll keep it until he formally challenges me. I am the head of the Order now and I recon the rest of the line won’t be so understanding but we’ll deal with that later. Right now I need you to do something for me.”

“Your wish is my command oh Slayer-whipped one.”

“Sod off, you’ve got it just as bad as I do.” Spike said gruffly but without any real heat. Technically James was now his childe because he had claimed him as such but since he was also a friend he didn’t lay down the law unless he had to. “I need you to find the Principal of the High School. He upset my girl and is trying to make trouble for her but while you can’t kill the sot, I think you can convince him to change his mind. So here‘s what you‘re gonna do...”

________________________________

“Hello cutie.” Spike said, laying down his book when Buffy rolled over to look at him.

“What time is it?” She asked groggily, looking up at him.

“Just shy of five luv, you were only out a couple of hours.”

“You...you stayed with me?” Buffy asked softly.

He bent over to place a kiss against her forehead before brining her closer to his side. While she was out, he’d made a few other calls to get the ball rolling on his plans and when there had been nothing else to do he had decided to read the book that caused her so much trouble again. It was funny how something as beautiful as Shakespeare’s works could cause so much pain and strife. “Nowhere else I’d rather be pet. How do you feel?”

Buffy cuddled against his chest, breathing in the musky scent of his skin with just a hint of smoke added to the mix, before letting out a troubled sigh. “Well I’m totally dead when my mom finds out but other than that I feel pretty good. I’m sure you think I’m crazy, cause of the moodiness, but it’s been a long time since I let myself cry.”

He felt her stiffen slightly as soon as the words left her mouth and it made him curious as to the cause. “When was that luv?”

“When the Anointed One tried to resurrect the Master. I’ve had a lot of close calls since I became the Slayer but he was the one that managed to take me out. I was completely helpless and I knew the minute he whispered into my ear that I was going to die...that it was over. Then suddenly I’m back and I guess that’s why I felt so powerful; it’s not ever day you get to cheat death and thwart a prophecy. But once things calmed down again and the adrenaline faded...the nightmares started. I spent all summer dreaming that he’d come back just like I did and each time I faced him again it always ended the same way. I died, only I didn’t come back again. I was a complete basket case by the time I came back and then suddenly it looks like my nightmares were about to come true. I totally shut down and nearly ended up getting all my friends killed but once I broke his bones with a big old hammer...it felt like it was finally over. I was free to go on living again and I cried out all the fear and pain that I was too afraid of letting go before.”

“Now don’t take this the wrong way pet but are you sure you let it all out?” He asked her gently, stroking his hand down her back to let her know that he was only trying to help her.

“I’ve never told anyone this but something changed that night.” Buffy said quietly. “I swear I felt something stir inside me like it had been there the whole time and my death had woken it up. All of my senses sharpened to a point that it was almost painful. My vision had always been pretty good but now I can see clearly on the darkest of nights and see every line on the leaves of the trees from more than a hundred yards away. The tiniest sounds, no matter how faint come in loud and clear which was more of a curse than anything in a city like LA, so I had to learn how to tone them out because of all the headaches I was having. I know that Xander’s fooling around with Cordelia because I can smell her on him...not just her perfume but her. Her sweat, her spit, hell it might not make any sense but I can even smell how bad she wants him...which is totally gross. I also heal faster than I did before and I now my demon senses that Giles was constantly telling me to hone, do all the work without the slightest help from me.”

Instantly understanding what she was not putting into words, he had to smile at the way her mind worked. “So you thought that was your body’s way of preparing you for round two.”

“Yeah.” Buffy admitted after a few seconds, wondering how someone she had only just met could read her so well. “Another Slayer was called and everything, so I just thought that since they’re was only supposed to be one of us...that fate was going to fix its mistake.”

“I can’t say I understand much about Slayers, other than killing them I don’t know how things work but maybe your death set something off. One girl dies and another is called right that second, so maybe when you came back you were re-chosen and your powers doubled.” Spike said thinking that would explain why she affected his senses so strongly. “Our kind can sense when the Slayer’s around but it vague...more like a general warning of danger instead of an instant understanding of where you are. But you luv, you didn’t just register on my senses you dominated them.”

“Does it hurt you...being this close to me?” Buffy asked looking up at him, so she could watch his face as he answered.

“It stunned me for a second, which is why you landed that first shot but once I got used to it wasn’t overpowering any longer. I can’t ignore it completely though and I’m guessing it’s the same for you.” Spike told her honestly. It had been a slight bit unsettling at first, having all that power battering his senses but it hadn’t been painful, not physically. Now that he wasn’t looking at her like a kill or a threat, it was actually pleasant to feel the tendrils of her power causing tingles inside his entire being.

As if she read his mind, she arched her eyebrows and blushed slightly. An irresistible mix of innocence and smugness, that was only one of the things he found captivating about her. “I guess I’m not the only who doesn’t mind. It’s like that those tremors you get when you have that really good and totally perfect first kiss.”

“I don’t know about luv; wanna see if all my kisses make you tremble?” He said smoothly rolling her onto her back and sliding the length of his body against hers.

She had a pretty good idea where this was going, especially because she could feel his erection pressing against the side of her leg but there was something she had to say first. Taking his hand in her own, she looked into his eyes and tried to put everything she was feeling for him in her own. “I want to thank you for being there for me when I needed to fall apart. For some reason I feel safe and protected around you without feeling like I’m weak or helpless. Instead I feel cherished…maybe even loved. I don’t know how it happened and its way to soon to be saying something like this but I think…I think I’m falling in love you.”

Touched, he smiled down at her like the besotted fool that he was not caring that it didn’t go with his big bad persona. With her, he didn’t have to pretend because somehow he knew that no matter which side of himself he revealed, she’d never turn away. “Love isn’t a soft and comforting thing pet, not always. It’s not always gentle or kind, sometimes it’s rough and it hurts. That’s why love doesn’t just happen; you fall into it unexpectedly and try to catch each other as you go down. I’ll always catch you luv.”

When he lowered his lips to hers she didn’t try to resist and a few moments later when his hands started to pull her top off, she abandoned the last of her reservations because of the concern she could see in his turbulent blue eyes.

When she gave a slight nod, he slowly pulled it over her head giving her plenty of time to change her mind. She didn’t and when she was laying down in nothing but a virginal white bra he could feel his desire soar with the sight of all that creamy skin and soft curves that would make a sane man beg. She was thin but instead of the bone covered flesh that seemed to be the current standard of womanly perfection, she was supple and sleek like a predatory cat. He could feel those powerful muscles taunt beneath her yielding skin and more than anything he wanted to lower his head to lick across the toned planes of her stomach but he could still sense her discomfort. Forcing himself to remember that this was her first time, he eased down the pathetic excuse of denim that was supposed to be a skirt and simply stoked over her body to familiarize her with his touch.

When she began to moan softly and arch up to meet his hands, he increased the pressure of his strokes and finally allowed himself to lower his head towards her lace covered breast. Nuzzling her through the fabric, he lowered his hand down to gently caress her clit through her panties. At first she jolted but by the time he sucked her nipple into his mouth through the thing barrier separating him from her skin, the scent of her arousal was heavy in the air.

By the time he removed her panties and bra, she felt like her entire body was nothing but a quivering mass of raw need. Under his confident strokes her hesitation had melted and so had her nerves. She had always been a little shy about actually taking about sex, even when it was just her and Willow there was a lot of blushing and stammering but she didn’t feel so shy now. “Spike, I need to touch you.”

“Baby wants to play does she.” He said with a slight smirk. At first she had been still but when he had nibbled on her breast, her hands hand reached out to pull him closer. Pulling away he quickly shed his own clothes and slid back on top of her. Catching the look of raw need in her eyes as she looked over his body he could feel his cock twitching in response. “Like what you see do you?”

Rolling her eyes because she wanted his mouth to be doing something other than taking, she took the initiative and leaned up to lick at his chest like a hungry cat. He was so deliciously cold against her inflamed skin that before she had even realized what she was doing, she had pushed him back so that she was now the one on top. Take, want, have….NOW, her body screamed at her drowning out her virginal insecurities.

“Bloody hell.” He groaned out as she began to devour him with her mouth and hands. She was turning his own methods against him, repeating everything he had done to her on his own body and when her warm hand wrapped around his shaft he couldn’t repress the shudder that went skittering down his spine. Hell, she was so fucking responsive, every touch of his hands on her body resulted in a response. Moans and soft cries filled the darkened room and each one made him forget that he wanted to be gentle.

She was the bloody Slayer, he should have known that she’d be a hell-cat in the sack, he thought as her blunt teeth bit into his shoulder when he slid a finger into her tight, wet, warmth. Shoving her back down, he resumed the dominate position which brought his demon swelling to the surface.

Looking up she saw his amber eyes staring down at her and instead of being afraid or repulsed she lifted up her mouth and kissed him as his fingers furiously pumped inside her. She slid her tongue into his mouth, nicking it on his fangs and the tiny splinter of pain coupled with the pleasure built inside her, cause her to spill into his hand as her first climax was unleashed.

With her bucking and writhing beneath him, he nearly split out his own release like a randy school boy. It didn’t help that her powerful blood was sliding across his tongue and he knew that if he didn’t take her now, he’d never make it. Watching her face, he slid inside her and when she gasped from the sudden pain of him breaching her body he paused to let her get acclimated to their joining. “Trust me luv, it will feel good again in a second…I promise.”

He was wrong, it had never stopped feeling good, she though arching up her hips to meet him. She had felt the sharp pain as he took her virginity but feeling him inside her, filling her so completely was more than worth it. “Don’t stop Spike…need you.” She breathed out, soothing her hand over the sharp planes of his demonic face.

“Cor luv, you’re so fucking tight.” He mumbled almost incoherently as her powerful leg wrapped around him, urging him to go faster…go deeper.

Time lost all meaning as the completely lost themselves in one another’s body but when he felt her second climax reach his peak he lowered his face to her neck. The moment she tightened around him, he sank his fangs deep into her skin, branding her as his own release overtook him. Taking deep draughts of her blood, he continued to spill himself inside her as the waves of her climax seemed never-ending.

Even in this half wild state his first instinct was to protect her so he had no problem pulling out his fangs before he could take to much. After licking over the wounds, he pulled away to look down at her. “Mine.”

“I‘m yours.” She said arching up to seal her commitment to him with a kiss.

It was as desperate as their mating had been and when he drew away to offer his own neck, she never hesitated. Lowering her lips to his silken ivory skin, she bit into him, drawing a soft moan from his throat. When she felt his blood pool inside her mouth, she took only a single deep swallow before pulling her mouth away to press a soft kiss against the mark. “Mine.” She said softly, swept away by the tenderness in his expression.

“Yours.” He agreed, sealing the claim and binding them forever. He could feel their auras wrap around each other, melding in the air and charging it with the power of old magicks. When it slipped back inside him, he could feel her in ever fiber of his being and knew from the gentle awe in her eyes that she could feel it as well.

Chapter 8

“Are you sure you want to do this luv?” Spike asked gently, as they walked down the alley towards the warehouse. His arm was wrapped around her waist holding her close and he could feel the power coiled inside her like a tight string.

“Thanks to Snyder’s sudden decision to allow me back, I've got school tomorrow. I’d rather get this all done with tonight so that everyone has a chance to sleep on it.”

“But why do you want to meet my people first?” He asked idly, wondering which confrontation she feared more.

“Things are soo not going to go well with the Scoobies and I don’t think you want me to meet your pals while I’m ticked off.” Buffy admitted, knowing from their talks today how much he cared for his vampiric family. She had woken up in arms, a little sore but defiantly pleased with the way things worked out. She had actually been looking forward to spending the next two days in bed with her very yummy mate but then she’d checked her answering machine and learned Snyder had revoked her suspension. She was positive he had an ulterior motive well that or he had been abducted by aliens and given a brand new personality.

While going back to school would mean she didn’t have to face her mother with yet another school related problem, it meant that the time she and Spike had alone was rapidly coming to an end. Once everything came out, she knew there would be hurt feelings, anger and possibly even disgust and disappointment. But as much as she cared about her friends, she couldn’t live her life for them and no matter what happened, she wasn’t going to give up Spike.

For the last three days they had lived in this comfortable and secluded bubble where nothing could touch them and once they left that, they could never go back. No one knew about their relationship, so no one had been able to influence it but once the secret was out, everyone was going to have something to say about it. Which bothered her but not as much as the fact she was certain one person or several would try to do something to force them apart.

“Besides if your friends get lippy I can knock them around without actually hurting them, while all we can do to my friends is glare.” Buffy said lightly, still uncomfortable with the concept of just walking in to a vampire lair.

“Don’t be gentle luv, if they push you, push back.” Spike said, hoping that Penn had taken off. If not, having those two in the same room was just asking for trouble and he didn’t want Buffy to hold back. “I know doing this goes against everything you’ve ever been taught but you’ll be safe with me. Never gonna let anything happen to you pet but you need to assert yourself in there. You’re now their Mistress and they need to learn to respect you. Don’t stake them unless you have to but if you’re life is in danger don’t hesitate. I’ll admit I fond of most of my family but you always come first.”

“Thanks, I didn’t just want to be William the Bloody‘s mate anyway. I do have my own reputation to think of you know.” She teased, already feeling a lot better about this meeting. She was half afraid that he’d just except her to keep her mouth shut or worse hate her if she was forced to stake someone. She believed him when she said they wouldn’t kill and she could understand that being somewhere safe would be a big incentive but like Spike had said, doing this went against everything she had learned as a Slayer.

According to her Watchers and the Council vampires were nothing more than killers without the slightest shred of human emotion. Then Angel had come along and she thought that it was the soul that made him so different but once she met Spike she knew their had to be more to it than that.

Now she thought they were more like her. She had this predator inside her but her will was strong enough to control it; just like Spike was strong enough to tame his demon. So it all came down to the individual.

That insight didn’t mean she was just going to put every vamp in town on an honor system but she would make exceptions to the rule. People had to come first but she believed that Spike could control his vampires, especially after he had told her how he had dealt with the Anointed One. According to Giles, he had a great deal of sway over his kind; almost like a thrall that bent them to his will and Spike had just walked in and dusted him. Which meant as far as big bads went, she was glad they were on the same side.

But she doubted the Scoobies or Giles would see it that way, so it couldn’t hurt to make a few new friends, even undead ones, just in case she lost all her old ones.

“You ready luv?” Spike asked pulling her to a stop in front of an large warehouse in the very heart of the industrial side of town.

“Yes already, you’re worse than my mother, you know that?” She said, pinching him in the ribs. It was actually kind of cute that he was so protective of her but she didn’t want him to forget she could still take care of herself. She wasn’t exactly a kid about to take her first ride on the big roller coaster. She was the Slayer, the killer of the undead and other assorted creepy crawlies.

Getting that he was making her uncomfortable with his coddling, he sent her a sexy smirk before throwing open the door with a flourish. Leading her into the cavernous room he called out. “Hi kids, we’re home!”

His words drifted up to the rafters but the rest of the warehouse remained silent.

“Oh come on, I know your there!” Buffy called out impatiently. “Two of you are on the balcony to my left, another one is in the small room towards the back and the last of your crew is checking us out from behind. So be good little vampires and come out, I am totally not in the mood for games.”

“Ohh I like her!” James said leading Elizabeth down the stairs. His mate was terrified by how this would go but he didn’t detect any malice in the Slayer’s tone. Getting his first look at her, he had to admit she was a beauty so he could understand the allure but it was the power he could feel coming off of her that was truly impressive. “It looks like you met your match Spikey.”

“Don’t call me that Jimmy my boy.” Spike said hitching his thumbs in his belt loops. “Makes me think you want my hot, tight body and my girl’s a mite possessive.”

“So you gonna make with the introductions while the other two wait and see what happens?” Buffy asked Spike, giving the stunning couple in front of her a friendly smile. The man, a tall brunette with warm hazel eyes was clearly more cautious than afraid but the willowy blonde clutching his arm had fear swirling around her like a dime store perfume. They looked like Barbie and Ken, she thought idly suppressing her instinct to lunge at them. “That‘s a lovely necklace by the way.”

Ducking her head meekly, Elizabeth felt a slight bit better because of the compliment. “James got it for me…he said it wasn‘t as pretty in the store as when it would be worn by the prettiest neck of all.”

“Aww that is soo sweet.” Buffy said melting a little at the slightly cheesy yet adoring comment. “Guys just don’t say stuff like that anymore.”

“Oi there pet, I say nice things!” Spike said trying to sound hurt but delighted by how things were going so far. He was a little pissed that the other two hadn‘t come out but he was sure that Dalton was scared stiff. Penn on the other hand, was probably up to something. “That’s Elizabeth by the way and the git lucky enough to snag her is James.”

“How long have you two been together?” Buffy asked feeling like she was just meeting her honey's friends and not being inducted as their mistress. It was a little surreal but not unpleasant, she decided.

“Nearly a hundred and twenty-two years.” James said giving his beloved a soft, intimate smile. “But I look forward to several more centuries at her side, for the world is only beautiful because she walks in it.”

“Don’t worry, if you and her leave the good little humans alone we won’t have a problem.” Buffy said wanting to both them both at ease because she was touched by the devotion and love that was obvious between them.

“What about the evil, wicked little humans.” Penn asked leaping down from the catwalk just behind them and landing on his feet gracefully. “Can we eat them Mistress?”

Wow, Buffy thought positioning herself so she could keep her eyes on all the vampires around her, it was like she had stumbled into a pretty people secret meeting or something. Just like the couple, the man before her with sandy blonde hair and a finely carved face was gorgeous but it was the wickedness shadowed in his cold brown eyes that reminded her that he wasn’t just a person, he was a vampire.

Unable to help it she cocked her head to the side and studied him for a moment. “Have we met before because you look a little familiar.”

“No my lady, I was Angelus’s childe and I have not stood in your presence before.” He said giving her the charming yet sincere smile that lured many a girl to their deaths. “But you did not answer my question Mistress. Are we permitted to feed upon the wicked, removing the threat to the humans you so cherish?”

With his spiked hair and smooth cultured voice, his words had caused something to click inside her mind like two pieces of the puzzle snapping together. He wasn’t just sired by Angelus, he had a pretty big case of hero worship going on. Which wasn’t a good thing but it did explain why he was trying to be so seductive. He wanted to get with the girl his idol had lost and that was just plain icky. “No, that’s what the cops are for and if you have a problem with that, you better get outta my town because this is your only warning.”

“I have no desire to leave this place, there is much to be said for the company my lady.” He said bowing slightly.

Spike let out a low growl at his antics but didn’t move to pull Buffy back to his side. He had no idea what Penn was trying to pull but he wasn’t about to play into his hand. “Why don’t you move your arse and have Dalton come out.”

Without a word or a single complaint, which was highly out of character for him, Penn went to do as Spike had ordered.

“I don’t suppose you two cast some sort of spell on him by any chance?” James said once Penn had walked out of hearing range.

“Bloody hell mate I was hoping you could tell me what that was all about.” Spike said pulling out his smokes and lighting one up.

“Duh.” Buffy said rolling her eyes. “He wants to play like he’s Angelus but he’s totally barking up the wrong tree. Someone should have told him I was irresistibly attracted to blondes with deep blue eyes and English accents.”

“He should bloody well know that seeing as how he can feel the claim pet.” Spike said pulling her close so he could press a kiss against his mark. What she had said made sense and he only hoped that Penn’s little obsession kept him on his best behavior around his girl. But if the bastard so much as made a lewd suggestion towards her, he was dust. “Someone should have told the blighter you dumped Peaches, not the other way around.”

“You…broke up with Angelus?” Elizabeth asked unable to stop the question from passing her lips until it was to late.

“Yep, we just didn’t mesh ya know. You either feel a thing or you don’t and I didn’t anymore. So I ended it.” Buffy admitted, hoping to coax the blonde out of her shell. The fear still coming off of her was intoxicating but her submissiveness seemed to have a calming effect on her inner Slayer. It was something she’d have to mention to Spike cause she sure as hell didn’t understand it. “But he’s not the same guy you all knew. According to the diaries Angelus was all violent and arrogant while the souled version is sedate and more than a little broody because of the whole gut wrenching guilt thing.”

“For a Slayer you have quite a habit of allying yourself with vampires.” James said finally understanding why Spike was so taken with her. Not once had she treated them like vampires. It was clear by the way she had shifted during Penn’s arrival that she was on the defense but she still acted like the were all just normal humans meeting for the first time. It had been a long time since he had allowed his humanity free reign and while he delighted in his pursuits as a demons, it would still be nice to take back a small part of the life he lost the night Darla sired him.

“Tell me about it; think they’ll kick me out of the Champion hall of fame?” Buffy said, not really ready to go into that yet. How could she explain something she hadn’t even figured out. “There’s another Slayer anyways. Probably one that was trained to be a good little warrior by the council and it’s not like they were all that thrilled with me to begin with.”

“But how is that possible, there can be only one.” James said casting a shocked look towards Spike.

That particular phase floated through her mind but just when it was about to become clear, the other two vamps showed up and it was lost again. “I died but only like for a minute or two.” She said absently as she tried to focus on the present once more.

Spike noticed she was distracted by something but now wasn’t the time to call attention to it. “Buffy this is Dalton, he’s our resident book worm. Once things settle down a bit, I bet he and your Watcher would be thick as thieves.”

“Do you speak or read in any other languages?” Buffy asked, clenching her jaw as his fear seemed even stronger than Elizabeth’s. All she could think was that he was weak, easy to kill and the more he shifted around the more appealing he became.

Which was not of the good she decided, when she felt a almost overpowering need to growl building inside her chest. GROWL, she so did not growl and ignoring Dalton’s litany of accomplishments she turned to Spike. “Uhh… Spike we have that thing we need to get to and we don’t want to be late.”

Spike smiled thinking she was bored but the moment his eyes hit hers her nearly gasped in shock. Her entire eyes were now the color of the richest gold but what had startled him was the cold brutality he could see all but staining to be released inside her swirling black pupils. “Right then, best be on our way.” He said calmly as he reached out to take her arm.

“See ya…we got that thing we have to do…like now.” Buffy said pleading him with her eyes to get her out before she did something they both would probably regret.

Chapter 9

People say that when you die your entire life flashes before your eyes, the beginning to the end as the world slips into darkness and your life fades away. But what Buffy was going through now was like evolution in reverse. Inside her chest, she could feel some presence, some foreign entity trying to claw its way free and it was as if her body wasn’t large enough to contain it. She could feel her bones snapping like a crumbling foundation and her skin stretching, tearing to encompass whatever was struggling deep within her.

There was no comforting picture show of her life to distract her from the pain or her fear of dying once more, instead she could feel her humanity slipping away a little more with each passing second. All those human moments, picnics in the sun, going to school, sitting on her mother’s knee as she was being rocked to sleep were being replaced by other memories. Memories of things she had never done and were frightening in their vivid intensity.

Through them, she knew the thrill of snapping her jaws over her struggling prey’s throat and filling her mouth with the warm tangy taste of fresh blood filled with fear. She knew how raw meat tasted as it slithered across her tongue and how good it felt to dig her claws into the still quivering being she had just slaughtered.

Pulling away from Spike less than a block away from the warehouse they had just left, she fell to her knees, as her stomach twisted and clenched while it desperately tried to expel a fresh feed that hadn’t occurred. It didn’t matter that it was just an image inside her mind, her body now knew the weight of a fresh kill as it settled inside her stomach and her revulsion was enough to convince her brain that it was really there. Vomiting she started down at the grimy cement as it became awash with crimson and she could taste the salt of her tears as they ran down her face and into her open mouth.

It was at that moment she understood that she was once again drowning but instead of the foul water in that dank cavern, it was her own blood filling her lungs and chasing out the air she so desperately craved.

She was afraid.

Not of dying again because she had always believed that death had never wandered far from her side since that night but of what she was becoming. As someone who faced the worst things in this world, she didn’t have many fears and those she did have were hardly common. She was afraid of being helpless, afraid of being the type of thing she once hunted and lastly as if she held some unconscious need to have some form of normalcy she was afraid of hospitals.

Well she was positive that she wouldn’t have to face the final one because whatever was happening to her now a hospital would have no idea of how to treat it but the other two were very real concerns right now. But even with pain, upon pain, upon pain, ripping though her as she labored to breathe she refused to simply surrender. She was chosen for a reason to fight the forces of darkness and this was just another battle, even if it was only occurring within her own body.

Looking up, she sought out Spike’s concerned and terrified eyes and let him see the fierceness and determination in her own. “Giles…I need you to get me to Giles. I can’t fight it if I don’t know…what it is. Hurts…but can’t let it take me….won’t let it take me.”

Spike had no earthly idea what was going on but with the power pouring out of her with a burning intensity and the air filled with dark and powerful magicks he wasn’t about to stand idly by as she fought this battle alone. He didn’t need to know what was doing this to her all he needed to know was how to make it stop. That’s where the Watcher came in; he thought as he scooped her into his arms and began to run towards what he hoped would be her salvation.

Trying to be strong for her, he desperately muttered assurances that all would be well but with her bones being broken against his chest by some unseen force and her sweet blood steaming from her nose, he knew that she couldn’t hear him. The faint but steady pulse of her heart told him she was fighting for her life, focusing all that she was on the thing that was doing its best to destroy her from the inside. As he felt something writhing under her skin, he shifted his focus willing his own strength into her though the bond they shared. Right now she needed that more than comforting platitudes falling on her deaf ears.

By the time he rushed through the doors of the library, sending them into the walls with a resounding bang, he was practically exhausted but as long as she had an ounce of life within her, he would push his own body to its very limits. It didn’t matter how quickly it had happened or all the obstacles that would stand in their way once this crisis was past, he couldn’t imagine his life without her. She was his mate, his everything and it didn’t matter if he had known her three days or three hundred years, that would never change. “Help her.” He barked out as he laid her on top of the long wooden table, unconcerned about the books clattering to the floor.

Giles wanting to know who this man was but it was obvious that such questions would have to wait. “What happened?”

“I don’t bloody know!” Spike said holding her trembling hand in his own. “Her eyes suddenly changed to gold and we were on our way here when she suddenly started screaming. She tossed up a bucket full of blood in the alley and all I know is that whatever it is, it’s happening inside her.”

“Willow call for an ambulance.” Giles said briskly after taking her pulse.

“They can’t bloody help her. I can feel the magicks surrounding her but I don’t know if it’s a spell or some sort of possession. But I do know she’s suffering, so make it better!” Spike growled out. His own eyes glinted amber but never once did he look away from her shuddering body. “It’ll be alright luv the Watcher and your mates will figure this out. Just hold on sweetheart, I know it hurts but you just gotta hold on.”

Giles could tell this strange man’s concern for her was as sincere as his own but if they wanted to help her that had to remain calm. “I can do a spell to see if this is being caused by magicks but I still need more to go on. I need to know when this started, how long she’s been affected and since she isn’t in any condition to tell me those things, you have to.”

Spike thought a moment, knowing that his idea could only make things worse but one glance at her face told him that it couldn’t get much worse than it already was. “I can get inside her mind though our connection but I don’t have much strength left. I need Angel’s help.”

Giles wasn’t entirely sure what he was talking about but was relived that he had some sort of an idea. “Xander, go outside and wait for Angel. Willow, I’ll need your help preparing the spell and Mr….”

“Names Spike and I won’t let go of her.” He said looking towards the man for the first time. “Our claim is to new, I have to be touchin’ her to give her my strength and right now she needs that more than whatever you were wanting me to do.”

Blanching Giles suddenly understood what was going on and while his first instinct was to rip the vampire away from his precious girl, he had no other choice but to trust him and his intentions for now. “Very well.” He said with a slight nod. “But if you hurt her or I find out you did this, there will be no place for you to hide or no pain you won’t experience.”

Spike nodded before turning his attention back to his girl. Using his other hand, his brushed her hair back off her face and gave her a soft smile. “Did you hear that luv, your Watcher and I understand each other. Whatever did this to you pet, it’s gonna pay.”

While Willow and he gathered, the ingredients needed for the spell out of his personal supplies Giles found himself spending every spare second watching or listening to Spike interacting with his Slayer. He knew full well that he had placed his faith in the same demon that had slain two other Slayers but from the pallor of his skin, it was clear he was putting all his effort and strength into saving this Slayer. If he didn’t know, better he would say that he actually felt something like love towards her but since it was highly unlikely that he possessed a soul like Angel it had to be something else.

Therefore, they were unlikely allies but once his Slayer awoke, he would get to the bottom of things, Giles promised himself.
_____________________________

When Angel and Xander ran back into the library literally seconds after the spell had been cast, Giles quickly moved to place himself between the two vampires. He had heard the growl leave Angel’s throat the moment he had seen who was sitting beside Buffy but since the spell had shown she wasn’t under a hex or curse, they needed Spike. “Listen to me, Buffy needs help and while I don’t like this any better than you do we can deal with the rest later. Right now she has to be our first priority and his claim on her is probably the only reason she is still holding on.”

Angel was about to protest but when Giles shifted so he could get a good look at Buffy’s current condition; he swallowed his protest and buried his anger. “What do you need Spike?”

“I need sire’s blood but since Dru is gone, you’ll do.” Spike said doing his best to maintain his arrogant façade but to concerned about his girl to give a damn about a victory he had once planned on savoring. “We’ve claimed each other so I can get inside her mind and figure out what’s doing this but I’ve given her too much of my own strength to do it without your help. She won’t last much longer…she’s barely hanging on as it is and I can feel her slipping away.”

Angel walked over to his grandchilde and offered him his wrist with his face carefully blank but with his eyes promising all the torments of hell. “This is just the beginning William.”

Spike knew that he meant they’d have a grand fight to the death once they saved her but until she was safe, he didn’t give a rat’s ass about Angel’s threat. Shifting, he used his free hand to bring Angel’s wrist to his mouth and sunk his fangs deep into his skin.

Thinking that the two vampires were no danger to one another at this moment, Giles walked over to the others, certain that they had questions. He didn’t have any answers of course but since they all looked to him for guidance at times like these, he wanted to atleast be there for them. To his surprise, they quietly watched the scene play out before them and he could only assume that their uncharacteristic silence was due to their worry.

Unlike them, he had seen Buffy after some of her patrols had resulted in her being badly hurt. She would come by his place for bandaging or even stitches before making her way home. This was by far the worst condition he had ever seen her in but since the others had never been allowed to see her at her worst in the past, it must be frightening to see her like this now. “This could take some time and that is not on our side right now so perhaps we should research.”

“Sure Giles anything you need.” Xander said quickly, forcing his eyes away from the broken body on the table.

“Where do we start?” Willow asked relieved that they could actually do something that might help. She felt completely powerless just standing here while Buffy battled for her life.

Giles had no idea but the one he’d had to keep them busy, so he took a few seconds to think about it. “I suggest we start with the demon catalogs that we searched when Xander was possessed.”

“Is that what’s wrong with her?” Xander asked softly. “Did she get in touch with her animal side?”

Lifting his head from Angel’s wrist, Spike looked at Giles. “He might be on to something. Buffy told me her senses were different after her death…stronger more powerful. My senses reflected that and I told her maybe she got another dose of Slayerness. So you might start checking there while I try to reach her.”

Stunned that once again, the vampire had given them a ray of hope, Giles found himself nodding. He was disturbed that Buffy had felt the need to consult with Spike about the changes within her but at this moment he could only be glad she had confided in someone. “You two look over all the texts we have about the Slayer, while I consult the codex again to see if not only her death was prophesied but also her return.”

While the scurried off to do that, Spike turned away from Angel and back to Buffy. If he had hesitated only a second longer he would have seen the flicker of jealous that had shot through Angel’s brown eyes.

“Alright luv, I know you’re still in there but I need you to let me in.” Spike said softly, brushing his fingers over his mark. He wanted to let her know that it was him trying to reach her and not whatever she was fighting. Closing his eyes, he reached inside himself to seek out the bond between them and willed her to talk to him.

‘Luv, we need to know what happening.’ Spike thought and for a few moments, there was no response. Then he heard her sweet voice floating inside his mind and felt a smile break across his lips for the first time since she’d screamed.

‘Spike…is that you?’ She said softly, her voice as weary as her body.

‘Told you I’d be there for you luv, so talk to me.’

She quickly told him what she had felt back in the warehouse and what she had felt since. ‘It hurts Spike, everything hurts…I don’t know how much longer I can do this.’

‘I know it does baby but I need you to hold on a little longer. I’ll make it all better, just trust me.’ He pleaded with her, not liking the defeated sound of her voice.

‘I feel you Spike, feel your strength but I need something else from you.’

'Anything luv, just keep fighting.'

‘I promise I’ll fight for as long as I can but if I…if I don’t make it I need you to destroy whatever took over my body.’ She told him firmly.

‘Don’t ask me to kill you luv, you know I won’t.’

'It won’t be me anymore it’ll be the thing that killed me looking back at you from my eyes.’ She said remembering Giles words to the others when they learned Jessie had been turned. ‘I’ve been ready to die, accepting that it was going to be my fate but I can’t let my body become something evil. If I do then that means all of this pain and everything I went through as the Slayer was pointless. I want my life to mean something…I don’t want to be nothing but another faceless girl in a Watcher’s diary.’

‘So keep fighting it luv, you’ve never backed down from anything before so don’t start now. Those were your words sweetheart and I knew you meant them, so quit giving up and fight damnit!’ Spike said, wanting to make her angry. He could live with her being mad at him, just as long as she lived.

‘I know what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it but I already have a reason to fight…you. That’s what I wanted something worth fighting for, something in my life that made living more than a duty. You gave me that Spike…you are my passion.’ She poured everything she felt for him through their connection. While they had been trying to figure everything out she had held back, wanting to have some control over her emotions and now she let him experience everything that he had kindled inside her. ‘We may have never talked about it but we both knew this day would come sooner or later. I wanted more time with you Spike, I couldn’t wait to spend another second with you but it was always borrowed time. Stolen moments in the grand scheme of fate but I don’t regret giving myself to you…loving you. If I die today, I know I was loved but also that I will be remembered. So please my love, my mate, don’t let this thing ruin your memories of me. It might take my life but you can stop it from taking the only thing that will remain once I’m gone. Please Spike; please promise me you won’t let that happen. If I have to die today, let me go in peace.’

More than anything, he wanted to say that she wouldn’t die but connected to her like this he could see she didn’t have much time left. Already he could feel her heart rate, too slow to begin with getting even slower and he knew she could tell her time was running out as well. Once again, he had failed to save someone he loved but he had one thing left to give. ‘There will never be another; you are my love Buffy…always. I promise I won’t let this thing win but I need you to fight as long as you can. I know it hurts but being strong means fighting and I’ve never met a stronger person that you. So give us as much time as you can but no matter what happens, I’ll take care of you. I love you Buffy.’

He wanted to stay with her, to face the end at her side even if it meant sharing her fate but as long as she was fighting, he would as well. Breaking the connection, he opened his eyes unaware of the tears drying on his cheeks. He told them everything she had said, leaving nothing out just incase they could see something he had overlooked before letting his eyes go cold and empty. “If she doesn’t make it, she wants it to end here. I promised her I’d see to it and if any of you try to stop me, I’ll kill you.”

Chapter 10

“You know kid, sometimes the only way you can win is by giving in.” An unfamiliar voice called out to her through the darkness. Buffy didn’t feel like she was in her body anymore, didn’t feel like she was anything really.

“That’s right, you are the darkness.”

“No, I’m the things that fights it.” She shot back forcing her voice to be strong even thought everything about this place, this nothingness was creepy. It was like being in a large black room without even a pinpoint of light to guide you. For all she knew there could be no walls holding her in but the ones inside her mind‘s eye.

“Right again, you’re preconceptions are the things holding you here. You think you know what you are, what the Slayer truly is but you don’t. It’s not something that can be told to you, it cannot be shown. You cannot just watch, but you must see. See for yourself, that is why you are here.”

“All I see is darkness, so unless you turn on a light you’re wasting my time.” Buffy said falling back on sarcasm. Well all else fails, a witty remark tends to get the job done. Hopefully it would tick off ‘the voice’ and they’d fight or send her back. Well that or kill her, she amended but since she was already prepared to die, it wasn’t as scary as it once had been.

“You are the darkness Slayer, it is the source of your beginning and the well of your powers. To fight the darkness you must embrace it, know it as well as the light, so a girl was chosen and joined with the source of all darkness. Part of her humanity in exchange for the power and upon her death another was chosen, then another and another, until there was you.”

“Thanks for the history lesson but it would be so much more believable if it was coming from Giles. So why don’t you let me talk to him and then I’ll get back to you about this whole darkness thing?” Uncomfortable but determined not to show how his words had affected her, she started walking through the mass surrounding her. It didn’t feel like walking though, it felt like she was flowing though it and that only heightened her anxiety. She so did not like this place.

“You can’t run from what’s inside you Slayer, there is no sanctuary that can shelter you from your own presence.” The voice said in a soothing manner as her emotions filled the room. “This was not meant to be your place, your source of power, because you already had another destiny. It was untapped, just waiting inside you to be released and the power of the Slayer didn’t know that a part of your humanity had already been surrendered to it when the Watchers had selected you. They had witnessed to many slayers fall and decided to restore order to the line by selecting new candidates themselves, instead of allowing the power to chose.”

“Try again pal, they had no idea I was coming that’s why I wasn’t trained like all the other girls.” Buffy shot back.

“Their magicks felt your potential and they added you to the Slayer line, not knowing that your destiny had been claimed by the line of Immortals for the game. You were a baby being raised by the state and they planned on collecting you when you reached the age of five, just like all the girls before you. Due to a clerical error you were placed up for adoption and by the time the Watchers learned of it, it was to late. You had been legally adopted and they could not get to you without calling to much attention to themselves. So they sacrificed the Slayer before you when you reached the age of fifteen and channeled the power into you, thinking that your fear of your gift would make you obey them blindly.”

If she didn’t know better she would swear the voice was as amused by that little tidbit as much as she was but she doubted non-corporeal voices had a sense of humor. She’d already known she had been adopted so she couldn’t deny the scenario it had laid out but there was still an argument that she could make, one that would hopefully prove that this was all just a trick. “First of all the Watchers are suppose to guide the Slayer not kill her and secondly I’m not immortal, I died and everything. So if you're lying about both those things, then the rest is just a lie as well.”

“The Council of Watchers see the Slayer as nothing but a tool or a weapon to be wielded and it has been that way since the first Slayer was created against her will. The higher ups believed you would be more powerful than the girl before you, so they sacrificed the pawn in hopes of checkmating the queen. As for your first death, it was not your friend's breath that restored you to life but your first quickening as an immortal. You would have come back on your own, because the only way to see if you are an immortal is to test you mortality.”

“How do I know your telling the truth? how can I just take a strange voice’s word for it?” Buffy asked her voice still reeking of doubt. “I’m not going to kill myself just to see if I’ll come back or not…especially if I’m not even sure if it will be me that comes back.”

“Due to the power of your immortality, the essence of the Slayer within you has a form now. It is a demon in it’s own right because it’s essence was taken from the source of all evil but is not a malevolent being. Centuries of being a protector have overcome it’s beginnings and just like the Slayer herself, it is a protector. It’s has been merging with you slowly, it’s instincts guiding your own and in an effort to protect you it tired to become one with you. You are like three pieces of rope knotted together, the girl, the Immortal and the Slayer and now the mate of a vampire. That connection fed into your Slayerness giving you enough power to bring all aspects of your being into perfect harmony. By accepting his darkness your demon believed you would finally accept your own but you responded to it as an attack, thinking it was trying to overwhelm you, when it only wished to join with you.”

“Sorry but I don’t want to join with it.” Buffy said angrily, thinking back to those gore filled visions she had seen in the alley. “I’m not just going to let it take me over and control me! I am a person damnit, not a shell for some demon to just set up shop in…Slayer demon or not!”

Laughter filled the room, a warm sound that seemed to hang in the air and lighten the mood. “It’s surrendering to you, your powers understand your will and have submitted to you as their master…the dominate entity. The Slayer demon combined with your immortal essence should have given it enough power to overtake you completely, making you a little more than an animal, but you some how managed to control it, even before you realized it was there. Now you will be controlling them, instead of the other way around and since you're only one part human anymore, that’s a pretty impressive feat kid.”

“It didn’t feel all that whipped when I was puking up blood in the alley.” Buffy said snidely. “And even though I can’t feel it right now, I’m pretty sure some, if not all of my bones are broken. So if I‘m the boss I should be able to tell it to leave me the hell alone instead of getting beat within an inch of my life.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, it is only defending itself and you.” The voice said growing serious. “If the power of the Slayer was something that could just be removed don’t you think the Watchers would have done that instead of killing the girl before you? Once its yours it’s a part of you, just like your hair color or skin tone so if it let you cast it out, you would die as well. The only thing that saved you was the fact your Immortal and so is it. Which is why fighting it is more or less pointless.”

“If it’s so pointless why are you, whoever or whatever you are, even here?” Buffy said finally hoping to find out what was going on. “Wherever here is.”

“Your corporeal body is in a deep coma and The Powers That Be have brought your astral body here to this chamber so I could explain what is going on. My name is Whistler and I am a balance demon for the Powers and we have been watching you for some time. I’m the one that sent Angel to you; we feared that your powers would overtake you but also wanted you to have a guide. Once you’ve joined with your powers it will still take some getting used to and since vampires are immortal and have their own demons to control, he seemed like the right guy for the job because he also needed guidance. So basically we were going for a you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours kind of arrangement.”

“Sure you did pal. I bet you sent the handsome vampire to me just so we could be battle buddies.” Buffy said quickly catching onto the game now. Apparently everyone from the Watchers to the Powers wanted a piece of her and that meant they wouldn’t do anything without having a hundred reasons behind it. Once he had mentioned he worked for the Powers Buffy realized that other than the prevailing darkness, this place wasn’t all a tingle with evil vibes. Which meant he might actually be telling her the truth but she wasn’t convinced yet. “So either you come clean and prove you're one of the good guys or I’ll go back to my little pointless battle. But since you seem pretty sure I‘m Immortal it might take awhile, so someone else will have to do the Slayer’s job in my absence. Oh that‘s right ONE girl in all the world.”

“You forget kid, one girl dies and another is called and like you said you died and everything. There has been two Slayers since your death at the hands of the Master. The first one Kendra, died less than four months after being called and the second one, Faith, is in Boston and you’ll be meeting her eventually.”

“Okay so if I’m not your Champion anymore, why are you here?” Buffy shot back.

“You have two destinies, the Slayer and your place in the Immortal game. Now I can’t tell you what the ultimate goal of the game is but I will say it’s in everyone’s best interest that the eventual winner is a good person like yourself. Now with that in mind, I’ll answer your questions for the sake of staying on your good side. Yes, we did hope that something more than a working relationship would begin between you and Angel but we didn’t interfere other than making sure you two met. Everything you feel for each other is real; we don’t mess with free will, it’s a big rule up here. Speaking of rules the game has some that directly conflict your first rule as a Slayer.”

“You expect me to kill humans.” Buffy said coldly, her voice as sharp as a stinging slap. “Boy did you all get your wires crossed on that one.”

“No, we didn’t and your answer just proved it.” Whistler said with a trace of relief. “The entire game is composed of killing off other immortals and strengthening their power with the opponents quickening but some start to like the killing a little to much and don’t blink at killing anything in their paths. They begin to believe that they are above the laws and ways of man and once you couple that with the fact that the only way to kill them is by taking their head, they are as dangerous as Angelus in his prime. No matter how much damage is inflicted on them, they will come back unless they are beheaded and the more powerful they are the quicker they heal. Plus it doesn’t help that dark quickenings can turn nice people like yourself into cold blooded killers.”

“Quickenings?”

“When an Immortal takes another Immortals head something called a quickening happens. Basically you take their life into yourself and their memories become your own, as well as recieving all their power. The atrocities of the crimes they've commited can sometimes taint the memories and power making it impure. During dark quickenings you don’t just take their powers and memories, they try to control you. It doesn’t happen very often but with all the power inside you, soon you’ll become a conquest for the consummate head hunters. That’s why we thought having Angel in your life would be a good thing. Should you ever experience a dark quickening his claim on you would help guide you back to yourself if you were taken over but that was before you dominated your Slayer demon. So now we know that if anyone can control themselves it will be you. But we also thought he‘d help you accept your demon as well as the fact you were now in a kill or be killed situation against others like yourself.”

“You mean the whole thing is just a bunch of people running around chopping each others heads off?” Buffy asked, not surprised that some of them became vicious killers. “First you put them in a ‘game’ where the whole point is to kill others and then you act all surprised when they suddenly decide killing isn’t wrong.”

“You better than anyone should know that immortality has it’s price. Vampires don’t just feed on humans because it’s fun, they do it to survive. But while you won’t be taking blood from your challenges, you will still be taking life from them and adding it to your own. Despite the name given to it by the players, it is anything but a game. It’s a test, not only of the skills of the competitors but also their wills and hearts.” Whistler said soundly a slight bit angry or possibly offended but without being able to rely on body language it was impossible for Buffy to know which. “When the game ends only one Immoral will remain and they will have all the power of all the Immortals. So naturally they have to prove that they are the strongest and as a Protector you should worry about what would happen if the wrong sort of person was the one to gather all that power.”

They’d do a helluva lot of damage, Buffy thought grimly feeling the hand of fate wrapping around her once again. She couldn’t let a cold blooded killer possess that kind of power, even if it meant taking human lives to stop them. It was the perfect card to play against her but it also made the idea of taking lives easier to bare. Just like she had wondered where Spike and herself were on the good vs. evil meter, killers with untold power weren’t exactly on the good side of things just because they were human. But she didn’t want to end up on the dark side either and it would be a fine line to walk. “So I don’t have to kill every Immortal I cross, just the bad ones? I mean if I play can I do it my way or are there rules. ”

“Most Immortals just try to live a normal lives, only fighting when they have no other choice, some even lock themselves away on holy ground and refuse to play at all but others, others seek to become the one. You alone have to decide which Immortals you will kill because even if you are attacked out of fear, you can allow them to walk away. But the game does have it’s own rules. You can’t fight on holy ground, all fights have to be one on one with no outside interference and you’re suppose to keep mortals from figuring out immortals exist. You‘ll be able to sense other Immortals, just like you sense demons and you will have to decide who are your friends or foes.”

Since she didn’t like how neatly he had trapped her into making the choice to play and accept her inner demon, she felt a very childish need to knock him off his pedestal. “Okay I’m in but I gotta say for supposedly all seeing beings you really suck at playing matchmaker. Angel’s own guilt would never allow him to be with someone who was taking human lives willingly, no matter the reasons behind it. Plus if you didn’t notice he’s not exactly in touch with his own dark side, he‘s big with the denial and he wouldn‘t have been able to convince me to accept my own demon. Truthfully I don‘t think he would have tried, he looks at me like I‘m the only pure soul left in the world and that doesn‘t really fit the image of a girl with her very own demon…even if it‘s a good one.”

Whistler sighed, knowing the girl had a point. “He has always had the potential to be a great Champion for the helpless because he understands their pain but I found him in an alley living off of rats and avoiding people all together. I had hoped that by putting you two together, even if it didn’t become more than a friendship, that he would finally be able to accept that while he had a great many sins to atone for, he wasn’t worthless. You can’t help others if you can’t even help yourself and while he’s already come a long way, he still has a lot to learn. He’ll never be a part of this world unless he learns to accept what he is and allow others to accept it as well. By keeping his emotions so ruthlessly contained and holding himself back when he should be reaching out he’s still living back in that alley so even if he couldn’t help you…you might still be able to help him.”

“I care about Angel but we’re never going to be more than friends and I doubt he’ll even want to be that when he find out about Spike. I’d love to help him, because personally I think he’s a great guy but he’s not going to let me back in…if he ever did to begin with.” Buffy said sadly, wondering if not being able to save everyone would always hurt so badly. Even when there was nothing she could do she still felt guilty when she opened the paper and read about people who had died while she had been patrolling somewhere else.

“He loved you the moment he saw you kid, I could see it in his eyes.”

“Thanks I needed another great big helping of guilt.” Buffy said glumly. While she didn’t see Angel in the same light anymore, it still hurt that she was suppose to help him just as much as he was suppose to help her. “I was falling for him but he wasn’t there to catch me.” She said thinking of Spike’s words to her. “I’m sorry my choices will hurt him but I can’t always put everyone else’s needs before my own. I’d hollow myself out and Spike fills all those empty places inside me that I‘ve already given up. I know he’s not perfect and everyone else might just see him as a monster but I love him.”

“I didn’t tell you that to make you feel guilty, it was his fault for not taking everything you tried to offer him. It might actually do him some good to see you and your mate because if you can see more than a monster when you look at Spike, maybe Angel will finally open himself up so that others can see there is more to him than just Angelus. We always knew that Spike was more than he appeared and while we had nothing to do with you two getting together, we’re pleased with how things worked out. Together you are strong; he will help you control and understand your darkness and you will help him to see the light. Which is why it’s time for you to go back, it was only because of his strength that this meeting was even possible because all of your power is focused on the fight and healing the damage. If it goes on much longer he’ll lack the strength to feed and become little more than a living skeleton.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that to being with?” She demanded her fear for him making her voice low and menacing.

“You had to understand for yourself, you couldn’t just be shown the path you had to decide to walk it.”

“Enough with the fortune cookie crap, send me back!” Buffy said impatiently already surrendering herself to what was to come. Immortals and demons and soon she would be both, it's not like my life could be even more complicated than it already was she told herself sarcastically.

Chapter 11

Silently they all watched Buffy who had been unnaturally still for the last hour. Spike was barely hanging on by a thread himself, half-wishing she would just give in so he could follow her into death, when he felt a jolt of electricity skitter across his skin. Before he could react, there was another and another and while he moved as far back as possible, he refused to let go of her hand.

He clinched his jaw, waiting for the blue jolts to sting his hands but to his surprise, they never touched his own skin. He could smell Buffy’s scent changing, altering but just when he thought, he’d have to carry out his promise, she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Buffy…”

Reacting on instinct as her bones re-knit themselves and her cuts sealed, she punched him in the nose.

“What in the bloody hell was that for!” Spike demanded, holding his nose. He’d seen her looking back at him, so despite the lightshow and all the other things that didn’t add up, he had no doubt that it had been his girl who had hit him.

“You idiot, you could have died!” She shot back; pushing her legs over the table, she poked her finger in his chest already loving the side benefits of being an Immortal. Her Slayer healing had always been impressive but now she didn't feel the slightest bit of pain. “You’re a big evil vampire remember, that’s means you don’t pull noble crap like killing yourself to save me!”

“Yeah well next time, I’ll let you die then eh.” Spike shot back inwardly pleased that she seemed genuinely concerned for him.

She gave him a brilliant smile before launching herself into his arm and pulling him close. Burying her face in his chest, she breathed in his scent, unconsciously rubbing her check against him to mark him with her own. “I love you Spike, so no more heroics. You promised me always and I don‘t want to be mated to a big pile of dust.”

Before he could reply she felt someone latch on to her arm and due to the close proximity to her mate, she took it to mean they were under attack. In a blur of motion, she had spun around and blindly landed a solid punch to the center of Angel’s chest. Dispassionately she watched him stagger back as her eyes bled to a pure gold. “Listen Angel, I shouldn’t have hit you but you can’t grab me like that. A lot has changed and until I work out the kinks, I need you to give me some space while I get used to you again.”

Stunned, Angel twisted his lips into a cold sneer. “What the hell is going on, what did he do to you?”

A low warning growl reverberated deep in the pit of her stomach and unlike before, she allowed it to escape her lips. “Spike is my mate and what’s happening to me is Slayer stuff. Now right now you need to control yourself because a very big part of me wants to beat you for talking to me like that and the longer you glare at me, the more it sounds like a good idea. I’ve had a rough night and I know you all have a lot of questions but if you want to be in the room to hear the answers, you have to calm down. The more agitated your scent gets, the harder it gets to stop myself.”

“You’re not Buffy.” He told her his voice laced with disgust.

She started forward without thinking but when she felt Spike’s arms wrap around her waist to pull her close, she calmed down. Turning her head, she looked at Giles. “Make him behave or make him leave, you and I need to talk and Spike isn’t strong enough to hold me back for very long.”

Noting the odd color of her eyes and the almost animalistic intend in their depths, he found himself believing Angel was correct. “How do we know that you are Buffy?”

“Her scent is the same, a little different, but it’s still her.” Spike said pulling her down onto his lap. “If Peaches would calm down like the lady asked he’d realize that.”

Giles looked at Angel and after a few tense moments, he nodded. “Very well, I suggest we all sit down and discuss what’s going on.”

Buffy pressed against Spike, enjoying the way the soft purr inside his chest soothed her. “We’re going to have to have some ground rules. Right now, you all, even Angel feel like family but the smell of your fear and anger is playing hell with my mood. I’m torn between wanting to stroke Willow and Xander to calm them and ripping Angel apart for challenging my dominance.”

“You ah…want to…stroke me?” Xander asked not knowing if he should be happy or worried about that.

Buffy laughed gently and gave him a knowing smile. “Don’t get any ideas Xand, it’s not a sexual feeling more like you and Wills are my cubs. The need to mark you all with my scent is a little overwhelming right now and I might get all touchy feely but its weird enough without you going all Penthouse fantasy on me.”

“Didn’t know you had little ones pet, that’s the kind of thing a girl should tell a bloke right up front.” Spike teased, as he felt her strength flowing into him through their bond. Whatever had happened he liked it, because even though he hadn’t tasted her blood he felt like he had drained not just one Slayer but several.

“It’s not like you don’t have a few childer of your own Spike.” Buffy said after placing a soft kiss against his ear. “So that makes us the supernatural Brady Bunch…except well your kids might think my kids look tasty.”

“Buffy, I think you should tell us what’s going on.” Giles said partly fascinated by the tender display before him but also very disturbed. “I take it that Spike is also in possession of a soul?”

“No, Spike is soulless and so are his childer.” Buffy said calmly, deciding they needed a little back-story. So she told them about how she and Spike had met, the time they spent together and about their meeting with his family. “That’s what kicked it off, I kept having these animal urges and it freaked me out. Elizabeth’s submission made me happy but the more Dalton shifted around smelling like pure fear; he started to look like a good kill. So I tried to fight the feelings, which led to the not so pleasant breaking of my bones.”

“Dear lord Buffy what were you thinking?” Giles cried out unable to believe all that he was hearing. “Not only did you invite a vampire into you home, you allowed him to lead you to his lair.”

Since her feelings for Giles was different that what she felt for Willow and Xander his outburst didn’t bother her inner demon. “I didn’t understand it either Giles, it’s not like I make a habit of meeting vicious killers and inviting them home for cocoa at movies.”

“Yet that is exactly what you did.” He shot back pulling off his glasses and furiously wiping the lenses on the hem of his oversized sweater.

“I felt drawn to him and the longer I was with him the harder it was to walk away.” Buffy said with a soft smile, relieved that she finally understood why everything had been so off this week. “You might have noticed I’ve been acting differently lately, moodier and believe me my kills have definitely been more bring the pain than plunge and move on. I just figured it was a bad week but I think that it was my demon making itself known.”

“You’re what?” Giles asked stopping mid polish.

“I’ll get into that in a second but I need to ask you something first.” Buffy let her face fall into neutral lines and felt her eyes go blank. “Do you know how the Slayer before me died?”

“No, but why is that an issue?” Giles asked.

Buffy could tell by his body language and his scent that he wasn’t trying to deceive her and let out a relieved sigh. “Because I was never suppose to be a Slayer. The Council decided they knew better than the power and started to pick their own candidates. They sensed something inside me and due to a few human errors; they had no choice but to wait until I was fifteen to make their move. According to a balance demon named Whistler, who works for the Powers that Be, they killed the Slayer before me so they could capture the power of the Slayer and give it to me.”

“Just because some demon told you that the Council would commit such atrocities, it doesn’t make it the truth Buffy.” Giles said stiffly, his entire back going rigid from the malicious allegation.

Buffy looked over at Angel and she didn’t have to say a word, he could read the question in her eyes. “I know Whistler Giles, he’s the reason I came to Sunnydale. He told me that he was a messenger for the PTB and that Buffy would need help…that she had a rough road ahead. He didn’t feel evil and while he was hardly an angel I could tell he was concerned about Buffy.”

“Ditto, he didn’t feel evil and with my senses on high, high and overdrive, I would have felt it if it was there.” Buffy said understanding how hard it must be for Giles to be hearing this. “I’m not saying the entire council is corrupt but the more I think about it, I know Whistler was right. They don’t see Slayers as girls, they see us as a weapons that are theirs to wield. Why else do you think they insist on us not having an outside life? They don’t care if we’re unhappy; all they care about is us being obedient little soldiers. Plus I know from my time with Merrick that they kept an unnaturally close eye on my progress.”

“What do you mean?” Giles asked as the first thread of doubt wormed its way into his gut.

A fond smile crossed her lips and her eyes sparkled with happiness, as she remembered her first Watcher.It had always been to difficult to talk about her life in LA and now that she knew everything, it was easier to share the stories. “He used to always complain about them demanding such detailed reports about my progress. He’d never had a Slayer of his own but he had apprenticed with a Watcher and Slayer shortly after entering the council. He never remembered the other guy having to do so much paper work. Apparently the other Watcher would send in monthly reports, number of slays, demons faced and a brief overview of the girl’s progress in her training but he was being asked for big long reports. Merrick used to joke that they didn’t trust him to deal with me on his own, so well…he started to report everything. If I drank a bottle of water during training he wrote it down, if I sneezed he wrote it down and he even made me write an English to Californian dictionary to include in his reports. He said if he didn’t know what ’wiggins’ meant, that they wouldn’t either and we spent hours making up words and expressions during patrol, just so we’d have even more paper work to bury them in. We both hoped that if we flooded them with meaningless junk, they’d eventually back down and give us some slack but it never happened.”

Sensing her unease Spike stroked his hands down her arms and resumed his purring, hoping to bring her some comfort. He knew what was coming next and how hard it was for her to talk about it.

“When…when Lothos killed him, it was Merrick who told me I was special. He cared about Buffy the person and not just Buffy the vampire Slayer. He wanted me to survive, he didn't want me to die like all the Slayers befor me. I totally froze that night and if he hadn’t stepped in, Lothos would have drained me. If my boyfriend Pike hadn’t been around to pick up the pieces, I would have made a run for it but he convinced me to stay and gave me the strength to fight.” She sniffed softly and tried to blink back the tears gathering in her eyes but a few slipped down her cheek. “I told you guys I have seen everyone suddenly forget a big vampire showdown before and I was talking about the night I burned down the gym. Pike didn’t make i,t a vamp snapped his neck and I decided if the rest of the world could believe that the things that killed him were just a gang, then so could I.”

She took a few seconds to gather her feelings and then gave Giles a look that was frigid enough to freeze the marrow in his bones. “Three people have already died in the Council’s bid for power and I won’t play their games. I trust you Giles, more than that I respect you but you need to decide which side you’re on. I have another destiny, one that’s just as important as the one they shed blood to force on me. You can guide me as you always have or you can pack up your things and go back to them. Merrick was right about me, I am special but the Council is never going to know the full truth about me. So I need you to make your choice, leave now or stay.”

Giles instantly wanted to declare his loyalty to his young charge but understood that if he took this step with her, there would be no going back. He had a good idea about how much power the council wielded and he knew they had ‘dealt with’ rogue and presumably dangerous Slayers in the past but he knew that if he betrayed them, they would come after him as well. “I never wanted this life either Buffy but I believed that guiding the Slayer was a destiny far greater than the ones I imagined for myself. I believe in the Council, their purpose but more than that, I believe in you my dear girl. There is a war going on out there but you’re the one that fights it and if you believe they have become tainted in a quest for power I believe you. I won’t pretend that I am pleased with your actions of late, the secrets and most notably your liaison with a slayer of Slayers but before this moment, I was simply doing a job. Now you have given me a purpose and you Buffy are that purpose.”

Buffy smiled at him, pleased beyond measure that the man she had come to look on as a farther was willing to chose her over everything else. As clearly as she could she told them everything that she had learned, about the Slayer, about her demon and only left out the part about her immortality. First, she wanted to focus on the Slayer aspect of things, and then she’d deal with being immortal and all its repercussions. “I don’t want them coming after us, if they’re willing to kill an innocent girl, they won’t have a problem taking out their failed project or her Watcher. So for now we’ll play along, let them believe they’re the ones in control but if it comes out to a full out war with them, I believe Spike will fight beside us. I’m not going to deny what he is or the fact that he does pose a very serious threat but I trust him and he’s promised that he and any of his childer that remain will no longer kill.”

“Buffy I know you’re confused right now but how can you take Spike’s word?” Angel said gently, despite the fact that everything inside him was howling for him to rip her out of Spike’s arms and challenge the claim.

“The same way I was willing to believe you weren’t the one who attacked my mom.” Buffy told him, knowing that this conversation had to take place, despite the audience. “I was more than a little in love with you Angel but just like you, I can’t take anymore ghosts of the past burdening my soul. If you or Spike and his childer were a threat, I wouldn’t hesitate to do what needed to be done. It’s cold and heartless to even say that I would be willing to kill someone I care about deeply but even if I wasn’t suppose to be a Slayer I am one now.”

“Buffy I wouldn’t expect you do anything less if I were to become the demon I was before this.” Angel said giving her the intimate smile that was a look, he gave to her alone. “But if you loved me…why did you end things and turn to him?”

“Angel when I met you that night it was moonbeams and shooting stars but you always held back. You wouldn’t let me in and you wouldn’t let yourself reach out to me. I didn’t met Spike until after I ended things with you, so this wasn’t a let’s make Angel suffer thing and Spike isn’t just the rebound guy. Since the night I died, things inside me have been changing. The power of the Slayer is based in darkness but over time it’s essence has changed to something good and while not quite pure, it is still a protector. Because of the power that awoke inside me when I died, the essence that was the Slayer was able to take a physical form. So I’ve got my very own demon and its emotions have been slowly melding with my own, making everything I felt stronger. I needed more out of our relationship Angel, I needed someone who could match my passion but I was afraid of asking you for more because I figured you’d just pull away from me entirely.” Taking Spike’s hand in her own, she shifted slightly so she could look into his eyes. “I felt something for Spike right away and while I didn’t understand it at the time, I was responding to the darkness inside him because it enticed my demon. But more than that Spike also met all those needs a girl wants from her boyfriends, completely non-demony things like a shoulder to cry on and tons of displays of affection.”

She placed a soft kiss on his temple before turning back around to look at Angel. The pain she saw lingering in his brown eyes was another slash against her soul but with Spike in her life, it wasn’t a deep gash any longer. “You were really great about being there for the Slayer trauma Angel, you would show up in time for the big fight and you held me when I cried after the Master’s botched resurrection but you weren’t there as a boyfriend or a mate. You were Angel the souled vampire on his quest for redemption, guiding the Slayer when I really needed Angel the boyfriend. Spike was willing to give me that. He spent hours helping me write that stupid paper and the whole time we were studying, he kept running his hands through my hair or brushing his hands over me in these feather soft caresses. My demon calls it bonding but I think of it as his way of showing that he loves me. I’m not telling you this to hurt you Angel, because more than anything I still value your friendship. I'm telling you this because you’ll never find anyone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. if you constantly hold yourself back.”

Buffy smiled at him a moment, trying to let him know from the look in her eyes that she cared for him deeply but that it wasn’t the kind of feeling he wanted from her. “Whistler sent you here hoping we’d hook up but even he realized that you’re still trying to live in a guilt filled bubble of your own making. I needed someone who could live in this world with me. Spike’s been on patrol with me, he helps me with normal stuff like homework and personal problems and now he’ll help me deal with the new things in my life. Falling for Spike was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, I was confused and pretty certain I was losing my mind but soul or not, come pain or heartache he was worth the risk. Someday you'll meet a girl and you will be just as confused as I was, but you shouldn’t be afraid to risk it. Our emotions, showing them, embracing them are what make us human and in that respect Spike is a man worth loving and so are you if you’d let yourself be.”

“Are you happy Buffy?” Angel asked needed her to say the words but hoping with all his heart she wouldn’t. He could tell that by holding her at arms length, instead of giving her everything he felt for her had been the reason he lost her. But since he didn’t trust Spike, he wasn’t planning on making the same mistake again. Once he revealed what Spike truly was and freed her from his claim by placing his own, he vowed to give her all the passion he had once denied her, thinking it was for her own good. You didn’t live as long as he had without learning to be patient and Buffy was worth the wait.

“Yeah, even as messed up as things are right now it’s amazing to know that no matter what happens, Spike will be there with me.” She said unable to hold back the bright smile that teased her lips. She was definitely happy.

“Then I’m happy for you.” He admitted being completely honest. If she was happy for whatever cause he was happy as well but that didn’t mean he was happy with the situation. “I value our friendship and nothing you’ve said has changed that.”

Taking a deep breath, she decided that now was the perfect time to drop her last bombshell. The others had been quiet since she started telling her story but she was certain her next words would cause a very big reaction. “That’s good because I’m immortal now and it’s nice to know that a couple hundred years from now, there will still be a familiar face around.”

Chapter 12

“You’re WHAT?” Giles asked half rising out of his seat as the others, including Spike, gaped at her in shock.

“Immortal.” Buffy said calmly, making a split second decision. “I’m part of some ancient game where other immortals go preying mantis on one another in hopes of being the last Immortal standing.”

“You have to kill one another during…you know?” Willow asked, visibly flinching when Spike let out a vicious growl.

“No, it’s a removing each other’s heads kind of deal.” Buffy said, stoking Spike’s arm while she began to explain the rules of the game.

“You are going to kill humans.” Angel said coldly, not bothering to keep his disapproval out of his voice.

“That’s right Angel, I willingly signed up to become a mass murder.” Buffy said snidely. “Oh wait, once again I wasn’t given a choice in the matter.”

“I didn’t mean it that way Buffy.” Angel said realizing that attitude would not get her back into his life, especially since he knew Spike must be thrilled at the idea of her becoming a murderer. “But you don’t have to participate, you can move somewhere and remain on holy ground.”

“Brilliant plan Angel, I’ll just spend eternity hanging out on holy ground…maybe I’ll take up knitting to pass the time.” She shook her head, mentally patting herself on the back for predicting how Angel was going to handle this news.

“It’s better than becoming a killer.” Angel told her pointedly, wishing she’d grow up a little. He knew she was older than her years but she had a habit of acting like a spoiled child when someone pointed out something she didn’t want to hear.

“Get it through your head you git, if she doesn’t play some complete wanker could win and use all that power to cause a little mayhem“ Spike said in his most patronizing voice. He felt a tingle trip down his spine and turned to look at his girl.

“I love you.” She admitted with a dazzling smile that could shame the sun before turning to look at the others. She should have known he’d understand now all that was left to do was to convince the others. “That’s exactly why I have to participate. Whistler said the same thing Spike just did and they’re right. I don‘t care about being all uber-powerful but I do care about what would happen if the wrong kind of person wins. I’m not going to go around killing but I will do what needs to be done if an evil immortal crosses my path. End of story, this isn’t up for discussion or debate. It’s hard enough accepting it myself, so I understand if any of you can’t deal with this but it’s something I have to do.”

“No Buff, that’s not gonna cut it this time! You…” Xander said breaking off suddenly when a golden blur leaped at him, knocking him out of the chair and onto the floor. Looking up he expected to see Spike, only to find himself staring into Buffy’s yellow eyes as she pinned him to the floor a deep menacing growl rumbling out of her chest.

Before anyone could intervene, Spike stood up and moved to stand just behind the couple on the floor. With his eyes on the others, he lowered his voice to a firm but calming tone. “Xander, she sees you as her cub, her childe and right now her demon is not happy. Lower your eyes and keep them lowered, try to regulate your breathing before you sodden pass out but let her smell your fear. It will calm her down..”

Doing as Spike said, Xander looked down but had no idea how to let her smell his fear. So he tried thinking of her ripping him apart, of vampires feeding on his friends while he watched on helplessly and every other scary thing he could think of in hopes that he’d get out of this in one piece.

After several excruciatingly long minutes he felt more than saw her lower her body against his and when her teeth lightly nipped into his neck he couldn’t hold back a slight yelp. But instead of her tearing into him, he could feel a soft rumble vibrating against his chest as she slowly, rubbed her cheek against his neck, nuzzling him. It didn’t make him any less scared but he was having trouble not finding this highly arousing. The more her trim body moved against his, it was getting harder and harder not to live out his fantasy so he did the only thing he could do. “Spike…uh could you help me out here.” He asked quietly, unable to keep the desperation out of his voice.

“Calm down Whelp, she’s marking you as her cub.” Spike said finding the whole thing highly amusing. He could smell the way the boy was reacting to his mate’s touch but he knew through their bond that she was being soothed by the act. “Her emotions have been all over the place since this all happened and that brings out the beast in her but you’re helping her relax. You’re calming her and if I or anyone else try to interfere, we’ll just get snarled at most likely. So buck up mate but keep your hands to yourself.”

“Will she hurt me.” Xander asked squirming softly when her hand traced down his side, where he was very ticklish.

“No but I might if you don’t behave yourself.” Spike said in a teasing tone despite the fact he was dead serious.

“Umm Buffy, this really tickles…I…uh…promise to be a good cub.” Xander said, knowing full well that if she kept it up much longer he’d embarrass himself. He was already painfully hard and her wriggling was about to take care of that.

Coming back to herself Buffy quickly climbed off of him and sent him an apologetic smile. “Sorry Xand…it looks like my demon and I have some work to do yet.”

“No problem Buff.” Xander said, quickly picking up his chair. With a speed he didn’t normally possess he flopped down and scooted it under the table, hoping against hope that no-one would notice his erection straining against his jeans. But as uncomfortable as the whole thing had been, her little display soothed him as well. He was worried about Buffy pulling away from him, them all and adding Spike to the mix only made it worse but the way he saw it, she wouldn’t have reacted that way if she didn’t care about him a lot. He knew his crush would never amount to anything but being her ‘cub’ sounded like a pretty permanent part of her life. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you I guess. You already got a crappy deal, I don‘t need to make it worse.”

“You can say that again.” She admitted as Spike sat back down and pulled her into his lap. “But on the plus side, my inner kitty cat is all happy and purring now so maybe I won’t pounce on Willow and embarrass myself any more tonight.”

“You’re demon is a cat?” Giles said finally putting it all together and more than a little curious about what he had just witnessed.

“I got this metal picture before I woke up and it was this long lean cat, way bigger than your standard tabby.” Buffy said trying to picture it in her mind; inadvertently tapping into her beast. “Will and Xand are my cubs, to protect and train. Angel is pack, Alpha but not dominate. You are pack but a shadow man…guide.”

Letting lose a deep growl, she buried her face in Spike’s neck and before she even realized it, her canines had lengthened and sank into his neck like needles.

Spike jolted at the sudden bite but when she lapped at the wound, his entire body began to tingle with lust and power. Wrapping his arms around her, he forgot their audience and let out a moan as his eyes fluttered closed from the sensations filling him. “Bloody hell luv.” He gasped out, shifting her body so that she was straddling him. Jerking his hips up as the smell of her arousal flooded around him he was about to take her right then and there, when the sound of someone furiously clearing their throat penetrated his mind.

Wanting to get this over with so he could get her home and shag her properly, Spike gently eased her away. “Pet, let’s get this meeting done so we can pick this up late, yeah.”

Flushing furiously, Buffy turned back around and muttered meekly. “And ahh…Spike’s my mate.”

Giles had noticed the way her eyes had changed and knew that it was her demon rising to the surface, so he knew her behavior had been affected by that. But by the way Spike had once again handled the situation, Giles couldn’t help feeling relieved that she had someone to help her deal with the transition. “I suggest we conclude this meeting for the night. You’ve been through a great deal and apparently the more emotional charged you become, the less control you have over your animal side. I‘ll research tonight and we can discuss this more tomorrow.”

Spike shot Giles a look that clearly said he had just made his day. “You heard the man luv, let’s go home.”

Before she could nod, he stood up leaving her no choice but to cling to him or fall to the floor.

Smirking, he nodded at her friends and sent a cheeky wink towards Angel before heading towards the door. “See you tomorrow, gotta get my kitten all tucked in for the night.”

Buffy was about to insist he put her down so they could talk some more but then his hands reached up and grabbed her ass. No way she was staying here, she decided letting out a fake yawn. “I’m really tired guys, Spike’s gonna take me to bed…I mean home. You know cuz I’m really tired…long day and all.”

Xander waited until they had left the library, before looking at Willow. “See I told you Will, she’d be snuggling with her honey in no time.”

“You were talking about Angel.” Willow reminded him but inside she actually though Spike and Buffy were kinda cute together…not that she could say that with Angel sitting there looking like a crushed puppy.

“Okay but you gotta admit, she looked happy.” Xander said getting to his feet and getting his stuff.

Chapter 13

Feeling a little self-conscious Buffy made her way over to where her friends were sitting in the common room. Thanks to Spike and his…creative teaching methods, she was very much in touch with her beast. That harmony showed itself in her movements. Each step she took reflected a catlike sort of grace and sensuality that had several pairs of eyes watching her progress.

Well that or the fact her black leather pants looked damn good, if she said so herself she thought giving her friends a small smile. “Hey…are we cool?”

“Depends,” Willow said with a small smile of her own. “Are you going to start sharing all the yummy details you’ve been holding back? I mean the whole point of being someone’s best friend is so you can get the vicarious thrills.”

“Spike’s not just a thrill Will; he’s the whole amusement park.” Buffy said with a very smug smile.

Willow knew her face had to be as red as her hair but that didn’t mean she wasn’t dying for her best friend to explain that comment. “Okay so after school we’ll do the talking thing but how are you doing?”

“Yeah Buff are you gonna be throwing me down and marking me anytime soon?” Xander asked, giving her an easy grin so she’d know he was teasing.

“No need, you still smell like me.” Buffy said with a shrug before looking at Willow. “But you and I need to hug or something because my kitty doesn’t like the thought of you running around unmarked.”

Since that was soo better than the alternative, Willow threw herself at Buffy and pulled her into a tight hug. She held on longer than what a normal hug would last but when she felt Buffy purring she knew she was doing the right thing. When she did finally pull away, she was aware of the people looking at them strangely but she didn’t care. “That’s actually kind of nice, the purring thing I mean. It’s really kinda soothing but it’s also good to know ya care. But I uh…well I don’t get the whole marking thing?” Willow admitted.

“Spike says its so other predators know you belong to a pack. The way I understand it, my scent on you tells others that if they mess with you they mess with me”

“Yeah I knew that from what I looked up last night. But why does it make you happy. I mean you’re demon kinda adopted me and Xander but why bother?” Willow asked, hoping she wasn’t making her upset.

“Family, you guys are my family.” Buffy said firmly, not as a command but a statement. “My demon doesn’t want to be alone anymore than I did and knowing that it has a family makes it happy. Remember the power of the Slayer has been around as long as there have been demons so it’s been through a lot of lonely lifetimes. I know it’s a little bossy and more than a little demanding but that’s because it’s an animal. I don’t mind protecting you guys because you’re my friends and that’s enough for me. But my cat sees the big picture, the entire pack. It demands your loyalty and obedience so that the others will also be safe but also because you have to pay for its protection. I mean if we were all vampires you’d bring me fresh food or ahh…well you’d uhh…well I’d have sex with you. It’s a form a bonding but it’s also a way of showing you accept someone’s dominance of you. My demon, all demons really, are really big on the dominance and submission thing. Meaning it gets a big happy to know it‘s the boss.”

“But it won’t, well or won’t rape us or anything will it?” Willow asked quietly. As Buffy talked her mind had flashed over all the facts and videos she’d found about animal hierarchies last night. Sometimes weaker animals were given a choice to join a group and other times they were just claimed by the strong against their will.

“Nope because my demon isn’t in charge I am.” Buffy said hoping to put them both at ease since Xander also looked a little worried. “That’s what last night was, me and my cat fighting. It was trying to surrender, bond to me and since I didn’t know better, I thought it was taking me over. I know I was a little crazy last night but it was all new, all so sudden. I’m the alpha though and last night Spike showed me how to dominate my demon completely but also another demon.”

“How’d he do that?” Xander asked without thinking. When a very contented smile slid across her lips, he couldn’t help himself from laughing. “Right, dumb question and I soo don’t want the details.”

“Gotcha but even though my demon will make itself known when I’m really emotional, it won’t take me over again. Because now I understand it and why it does the things it does and it understands its place and me. So you guys never have to worry about me hurting you but if I get up and walk away suddenly, you probably just better let me go.” Buffy admitted knowing that her new animal side also strengthened her human emotions. It made everything she felt stronger so if she was pissed, she was really, really pissed.

“My cat accepts my dominance over it but it won’t accept you trying to challenge it. It’ll get pissed and since it’ll kinda piss me off too, that’s a whole lot of emotion to deal with. It’s kinda different for everyone. I mean I know you guys are human; fragile so what I feel towards you guys is different from what I feel for Angel or Giles. You guys are cubs, you don’t really know better but their higher up the ladder. Angel and Spike’s childer are also demons, so I’ll want to deal with them as such while my human side handles you guys. Does that make any sense?” Buffy asked, trying to see if they were still following her.

“Actually it kinda does.” Willow admitted feeling much better about this whole thing. “You’ve always been Buffy and The Slayer, only now your Slayer side is a little more upfront. But you’re still just Buffy, even though you’re immortal Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

“Man Buff, it’s getting kinda crowded in there.” Xander joked, thinking about all the different paths fate had handed her.

“It really is,” Buffy admitted with a sigh. “It was hard enough being normal Buffy and Slayer Buffy but I was finally getting used to it. Now this whole immortal thing comes in and it goes against everything I already believed. I mean Slayer me knows we can’t let some bad guy become all uber-powerful. But since said bad guy is a human, or close to one, the idea of killing them just seems wrong. And it is, immortal or not these guys are just like you guys. Only they’re a little stronger and much harder to kill. So while my Slayerness is trying to deal with my Immortalness, there’s still seventeen year old me trying to deal with it all. Not to mention dealing with my normal, not so normal life as well. The one where my new boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend so want to kill each other. My new family and old family will want to kill each other. Then there’s the part where I have to explain to my mom that she adopted a world-class freak and that I’m moving out because it hurts to be away from my mate, who just happens to be a vampire. I’m stuck in the middle in every possible way and I’m terrified that I’m going to lose everything. My human life, my immortal/demon life…I mean I’m only one person who has to live in two very different worlds.”

“You’re not alone Buffy,” Xander said pulling her close. Her eyes had become a rich amber as she talked but he didn’t even hesitate. For him it was all pretty simple, Buffy was his friend and she was hurting, so he’d be there for her. But after hearing her talk he knew nothing would ever be that simple for her and probably that it never had been to begin with. Last night he was all ready to tell her that she didn’t need her demon friends and that she didn’t have to play that stupid game. But hearing her now, he finally realized she didn’t have any choice in the matter. She never asked to be a Slayer, anymore than she asked to be an immortal but like it or not that was what she was.

He planned on having a nice long life but one day he’d die, Willow would die but because of Spike and Angel, she wouldn’t be alone. She’d still have people watching out for her, supporting her the way her normal human friends did. And considering all the burdens fate had heaped on her, she needed that, needed people there to help lightening the load. Even if all they could do was smile and joke with her, she still needed something to balance out all the badness that would always happen. He could do that, more importantly he wanted to give her what he could. “I don’t care if I’m your friend or your cub. The label doesn’t really matter to me it’s just enough to know I’m part of your life and that you want me to be there. You’re pretty amazing Buffy Summers and not because you save the world and stuff. You’re just amazing because you’re you. So no matter what comes, I’m gonna be right here to help see you through it.”

“Me too.” Willow said quickly joining in the group hug. She’d wanted to cry while her best friend poured out her heart and like Xander she wanted to help her anyway she could.