Taking Over Me

Disclaimer: It ain’t mine. Although watching season 5 of Angel–great motivation. Anyway, it all belongs to Joss Whedon and those very nice people at Mutant Enemy.

Rating: This chapter is pretty much PG or so, but overall PG-13

Timeline: Post-Chosen AU

Warnings: None for this chapter

Summary: Inspired by the Evanescence song ‘Taking Over Me’. Buffy’s broken, and noone is sure how to fix her.


~~~
You don’t remember me
But I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard
Not to think of you
~~~

Chapter One

Dawn clenched her jaw to keep the tears at bay. Hearing her broken sister’s sobs was something she would never get used to. Sighing deeply, she knocked on the bedroom door tentatively. “Buffy, You have mail. From LA.” She heard a choked hiccup, and then the door opened a crack. Slowly it revealed red-rimmed eyes sunken into a gaunt face. “Here,” Dawn whispered softly.

Buffy took the package and opened the door wider. “Thanks, Dawnie,” she croaked. Her voice was harsh from crying and disuse. “Can you...I don’t want to open it alone. Not if it’s from Angel.”

With a small nod and an almost imperceptible smile, Dawn followed her sister over to the rumpled bed.

“Was there a letter?”

“I dunno. It might be in the envelope.” She paused, looking at Buffy stare into her tiny hands at the package. “Do you want me to check?” Buffy nodded silently, handing it over. Dawn ripped it open and picked up the paper that fluttered out. It was indeed a letter, and she read it without a sound, eyes widening in what would have been a comic matter had there been any good humor left in the room. Her suspicions were confirmed when she peeked into the envelope’s dark recesses. Unwillingly, Dawn let out a tiny gasp, causing Buffy to look up.

“What is it?”


Dawn shook her head, not saying a word as she handed over the envelope and the letter. Buffy read the letter quickly, her lip trembling as she read the last lines.


Buffy, you have grown into a wonderful young woman. You aren’t the sixteen year old girl that fell in love with me anymore. Although, I think that there will always be a part of us that will love each other, even as we move on in our separate lives. As much as it hurt me at first to realize it, you truly loved Spike. And even without a soul, he gave you more than I could. He gave you hope. The strength to live on. To beat the First. That is why I’m giving you this. To remember your champion. I’m not doing this out of spite for my grand-childe. William the Bloody, who used to be one of the last remaining of the Aurelian line. I’m doing it out of love. For both of you. Never forget love, Buffy. It’s a blessing...and in some cases, a curse. Mostly, though, it’s a gift. Love with your entire being, and William will never be forgotten.
-Angel


Buffy dumped the sole content of the envelope into her outstretched palm. The moment she recognized the amulet, however, she dropped it as if she had been burned.

“No. How could this help? It’s the wretched thing that took him from me!” Dawn’s heart broke as her sister looked at her, green eyes filled with hurt and fear. Tears were spilling down her hollow cheeks. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what, Buffy?” Dawn had been wrong to trust her voice, as it cracked on those three words.

“Destroy it.” Buffy’s voice was hard and cold, and her bony hands were clenched into fists. Dawn nodded sadly and made a move to retrieve the amulet, but a skeletal arm and harsh voice stopped her. “No,” Buffy ground out. She bent down and closed her fingers tightly around the ugly necklace. With every ounce of strength the frail-looking slayer possessed. She hurled the offending object at the wall.

Then it happened.

As the amulet shattered into tiny pieces, gleaming like dewdrops, a brilliant flash filled the room. There was a rushing noise, and both Summers women screwed up their eyes as shrieks and an inhuman roar joined the cacophony. The shards of the amulet seemed to melt and stretch as they converged on a single point. The once reflective surface began to turn to a pale flesh like color as a body was formed. Dark brown curly hair sprang forth from a bald head. The final shard of crystal rose into the air, growing and becoming a white, flowing substance that was neither gas nor liquid. It writhed and undulated above the shaking naked figure before becoming a great gleaming ball. In an instant, it flashed to a clear blue and back again before settling over the figure and entering it, causing it to glow with an ethereal light. Then it all stopped. The noise, and the glowing. The figure formed by the amulet’s shards was gleaming with a sheen of sweat. Suddenly, it fell from its position hovering inches above the floor and crumpled with a choked whimper.

Buffy looked at Dawn, who was obviously as frightened and intrigued as herself, and let a single tear slip from her eye before she got up. Slowly, Buffy made her way to the decidedly male naked figure.

He-whoever ‘he’ was-was laying in a sort of fetal position, his face covered by a mess of unruly curls as well as his arm. He was shuddering and twitching, and seemed to be mumbling incoherently to himself. Or maybe it was simply the grunts and whimpers of someone in pain, Buffy did not know. Taking a deep breath, she touched his shoulder lightly. His head snapped around to look at her with inhuman speed.

Tears were falling freely from his terrified eyes. His lips were parted slightly, allowing him to take shallow, ragged breaths. The light from the setting sun cast shadows across the sharp planes of his face, over the unnaturally high cheekbones. He gave another pitiful whimper as he laid his head back down. Buffy’s hand flew to her mouth as she, too, fell to the floor.

“Spike?”

~~~
But who can decide what they dream
And dream I do
I believe in you
I’ll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you
To live
To breathe
You’re taking over me
~~~

Chapter Two


~~~
Have you forgotten
All I know
And all we had
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
~~~


Buffy and Dawn sat completely still, reeling from the shock of what had just happened. The latter of the two was still on the bed, but couldn’t have moved even if she wanted to.

Spike was still sobbing quietly on the floor, and was trying desperately to curl himself into an even tighter ball. He had been warm, and everything was soft and comfortable. Now, he was surrounded by harsh lights, colors, and sounds.

Suddenly, Buffy sprang up from her position on the floor and sprinted to the bathroom. Dawn heard her violent retching and stood up. Taking one more glance at the nearly motionless vampire–was he a vampire?–she went to comfort her sister.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

“Hey yourself,” Buffy replied, wiping her mouth. “What happened?”

“I dunno,” Dawn answered truthfully. “You want me to see if I can find anything of Andrew’s for...him...to wear?”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah. Listen, could you keep an eye on him? I gotta take a shower.”

“Okay.” Dawn was almost out the door before she turned. “Do you think he’s human? And, of he isn’t, does he have his soul?” She paused, her brow wrinkling. “Is he Spike or William?”

With a sigh, Buffy tried to smile. “Too many questions that I don’t have the answers to. Later, maybe.”

Dawn nodded as she quietly shut the door behind her. She remembered how Buffy was after returning from the dead, and figured it was probably very similar for Spike. With that in mind, she vowed to keep lights dimmed and the noise level down. She tiptoed into Andrew’s bedroom, chuckling softly as she saw the rumpled Star Wars bedspread.

After ten minutes or so of searching, Dawn returned to Buffy’s room with a small armful of clothes. Spike had not moved, but the sobbing had at least stopped.

“I....I, uh, brought you some clothes,” Dawn said tentatively. She held out the khakis, belt, and dark blue button down, along with a pair of socks. “Sorry there’s no underwear, but you never were big on them...so I’ve heard...” She smiled when he accepted them. “I dunno if they’ll fit, though, because they’re Andrew’s. He’s been living with us for a month or so now...” Dawn trailed off when she noticed the slightly uncertain look in Spike’s eyes. She attempted a smile, but suddenly found her shoes very interesting.

“Thanks,” Spike whispered, his voice rasping painfully.

Dawn didn’t look up until she heard his belt fasten. “Do you remember anything?”

Spike’s fingers stopped where they were positioned over a shirt button. “Should I remember something?”

Tears welled up in Dawn’s eyes. “I don’t know. I just...I thought you would at least remember us,” she said, gesturing toward herself and the bathroom.

“‘M sorry.” Spike sighed as he finished buttoning his shirt. “Do you think that maybe I could have a glass of water?”

“Of course. Do you want to stay here or come with?”

“I can go with you. My legs seem to be working, so I don’t see why not. Lead the way.” He smiled weakly and Dawn tried to return it. “What is your name, bit?”

Dawn choked as he unconsciously used his old endearment for her. “I’m Dawn. Buffy, my sister, is the one in the bathroom.”

“A-and who am I?” he stammered nervously.

“I don’t know anymore. But you had–have?” Dawn paused. “Had,” she amended, “two names.” She looked at him as he sat down at the kitchen table, tilting her head to the side. “Spike or William?”

He raised an eyebrow, obviously puzzled.

“Your name. Do you want to be Spike or William?”

The man in question seemed to ponder this as Dawn set a glass of water before him. He took a slow drink before placing the glass back on the table. “I like William, actually.”

Dawn nodded. “William it is, then.” She opened her mouth to say something else, but Buffy appeared in the doorframe, looking as worn and drawn as ever.

“Hi,” she said timidly.

Dawn looked up. “He can’t remember anything. And it’s William now.”


“Okay,” Buffy whispered. Suddenly her eyes widened. “Oh, God. I’ve gotta call Giles!”

In a matter of moments, Dawn and William were listening to a rather impatient one-sided conversation.

“Can I speak to Rupert Giles? Look, I don’t care if he’s meeting with the new Watcher’s council. Yes, dammit, it’s an emergency. For the love of God! This is Buffy Summers. What do you mean who am I? I’m his slayer. Probably the longest lived one, too. Yes, I realize that there are hundreds of Slayers now. You have me, and mostly my friend Willow to thank for that. Yes, Willow Rosenberg. Oh, so NOW you want to know the nature of the emergency? No, nobody’s dead. Yes, this is STILL urgent! Someone’s ALIVE! Yeah. You do that. Go get him.” Buffy was fuming as she listened to the hold music. The secretary had the nerve to question her that intently and didn’t know who she was? Giles was gonna get it when he showed up in Rome. Buffy’s eyes widened again. Unless they had to go to London...

Dawn turned to William, an amused expression on her face. “Buffy’s never been one for patience.”

William chuckled. “I noticed.” He paused, looking intently at his hands clasped together on the table. “Dawn...I...I don’t understand.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Understand what?”

Sapphire eyes met her intense gaze, confusion and an underlying sadness belying William’s calm exterior. “These...feelings. They’re different, all muddled up inside.” A lone tear began a path down his perfectly sculpted cheek. “I look at you, talk to you, and I feel things. I feel pride, and love.” Dawn quirked an eyebrow. “Familial, nibblet. I don’t think I’ve known a love like this so strong.”

Dawn choked back a sob. “I understand, sorta. I think.” She began to chuckle at the irony. “It’d be funny if it, y’know, wasn’t.” She saw William’s quizzical look and began to explain. “About two years ago, Willow, a friend of ours, cast a spell that made all of us forget our identities. We just knew what we felt.” Dawn hesitated a moment, reminiscing. “You thought your name was Randy.”

A soft chuckle escaped William, but he quickly sobered. The minute the smile slipped from his face, the same happened to Dawn.

The young brunette took a deep breath. “And Buffy? What do you feel when you see her?” Dawn gestured to her sister, who was tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Giles.

Williams head dropped to his hands. “So much. So bloody much. I feel...passion. Heat. Fear, odd as it may sound. There’s love, too. So...raw. It’s fiery. Primal. All-consuming. Intense love. I don’t think I’ve ever known anything like it.”

Sensing there was more, Dawn spoke timidly. “What else? It’s strong. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Shame. I remember...well, not remember, exactly... I feel like something bad happened in our past. Something I did, or caused somehow. It hurt. Not just me. Her to. It’s tearing me up inside, and I don’t even know what I did,” William finished in a whisper.

Dawn had just opened her mouth when Buffy’s anxious voice filled the room.

“Giles! I know it’s been a long time. Yeah. No–Giles, no small talk. Spike–or, William. Whatever. He’s alive. Uh. Well, see, the thing is, I hadn’t gotten to that part yet. I just saw him not dusty. And brunette, which is a little odd. I know, it’s irrelevant. I just thought it was nifty. Anyway, hold on.” Buffy placed her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. “Dawnie?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you, uh, check for signs of life? Real life, I mean? Not undeadness.”

But Dawn didn’t answer. She didn’t even have to check for a pulse to answer Buffy’s question.

“He’s definitely un-undead. No vampiness.”

“How can you–wait. He’s still human, right?”

Dawn considered this as she looked at the reflection in the dark window. “He looks human enough. I don’t know, Buffy. But he does have a reflection. And a soul.”

“How can you tell?”

Dawn scoffed. “Don’t tell me you never looked into his eyes. Don’t tell me you never noticed the difference after the soul. How haunted he was.”

“I noticed,” Buffy said softly. In the next instant, she was back on the phone. “Uh huh. Not vampiric. Yep, reflection and all. Think so. So,” she said with a smirk. “Your place or mine?”


~~~
I believe in you
I’ll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you
To live
To breathe
You’re taking over me
~~~

A/N: *Fanta tune* Don’t you want to? Want to Shanshu? Hehe. Nifty, huh? I figure an excursion would do them good. Anyway, I kinda think that this chapter sucks, but it has all of that exposition crap, so I do what I gotta do. FYI, Spike’s been gone for approximately three months, capiche? Remember, reviews are the antidote goodness to my self doubt, so save me!

Chapter Three
~~~
I look in the mirror and see your face
If I believe it now
So it feels inside that just like you are taking over
~~~
Buffy hung up the phone with a strained smile. "Well," she said, turning to face Dawn and William. "It looks like we’re headed to London. Dawn? When is Andrew supposed to get back?"

The younger girl sighed. "Well, he left to go see Star Wars about three hours or so ago, so any time–”

But she was cut short when the door flew open to reveal a teary-eyed Andrew. "Incredible," he whispered before catching sight of the others. "Hey," he said, suddenly sounding like a petulant child. "Who is wearing my shirt? Buffy! Buffy, there’s someone wearing my shirt!"

William stood up slowly, head bent. "Sorry. I-I...." He trailed off, not knowing how to finish. With a sheepish look, he raised his head to look at Andrew.

An audible gasp filled the room as Andrew dropped his plastic light saber to the ground. "Spike? Oh, Spike, is it really you? Oh, you’re like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever! Oh… he’s alive, Frodo. He’s alive." With no time to utter a warning, Andrew flung his arms around William’s neck and begun sobbing into his shoulder.

"It’s William now," Buffy said quietly. "He...he doesn’t remember." She took a shaky breath and turned to run to her room. "He doesn’t remember anything."

Andrew pulled back, sniffing pitifully. "But you’re gonna help him, right? Isn’t that what you– we– do? Buffy?"

"We’ll try, Andrew. You and Dawn, start packing. Giles has arranged for a flight at eight o’ clock tomorrow morning. "

Dawn looked at Buffy curiously. "And what about you two?"

With a slight smile, William spoke up. "I’m sure we can handle ourselves." He turned to Buffy. "I have questions."

"Giles has answers." William’s sigh prompted Buffy to continue on. "And I might, too."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Buffy collapsed into the chair opposite William and laid her head on the table. "I’m sorry, Sp– William." She heaved a heavy sigh. "This is really hard. You’re here. I mean, like, here. Now. At this exact moment in time. You’re so close, I could reach out and touch you." Her hand stretched forward, fingers hovering a hair’s breadth from his face. She hesitated as William’s eyes fluttered shut before snatching her hand back. "You have the same face, but you aren’t him. He would be making smartass remarks, but you... you don’t know." Even as the tears resumed their path down her face, Buffy knew she was being unfair. With a whispered "I’m sorry," she retreated once more to the sanctuary of her room.

The only sound in the abandoned kitchen was William’s shaky breathing as he tried to regain his bearings. He and Buffy had shared something important, that much he understood. William shook his head in a vain attempt to clear it and stood up. For no apparent reason, he was exhausted. Leaden feet slowly carried him to the couch in the next room. Before William’s head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep.
*****
Scritch, scritch. There it was again. Spike crept silently to the coal bin. After a momentary pause, he heard a tiny sigh. Grinning with morbid satisfaction, he gently lifted the lid. A pair of frightened blue eyes stared back into his amber ones. "Well, hello there, sweetling."

Crocodile tears poured down the girl’s dusty cheeks. "Please, sir. Please, no. I just want my mummy and daddy. Please."

Long, pale fingers stretched out and fastened around the back of the girl’s sooty nightdress. Spike easily lifted her out of the bin and gently set her upon the ground. He began to dust her off, careful not to let her see anything behind him. "Do you love your mummy and daddy?"

She gaped at him. "Of course I do."

"Will you go wherever they go?"

The child nodded silently, tears still falling freely.

"Well, then," Spike said with a laugh. "Don’t have any worries now, do we, ducks?" The sadistic grin returned in full as he stepped back. The girl began to scream but was stifled almost immediately by a cold hand as Spike knelt behind her. "Shh now. No talking. No screaming. It’s just like a library, or a museum, yeah?"

The little girl sobbed silently as she looked upon the bodies of her parents, artfully posed in a motionless dance. What had once been a coat hook now served as support for their lifeless bodies. Blood was spattered everywhere, staining the white curtains with crimson spots. A fire still crackled merrily, oblivious to the chaos surrounding it. Above the mantle, in a bloody smear, the words "God protect our home" leered back mockingly.

When he knew all had been seen by the tiny hostage, Spike withdrew his hand. "Now, sweets, how did you like my surprise?"

"You’re horrid," the girl whimpered.

"Now, now," snarled the vampire. "Took a page out of old Angelus’ book, I did." Spike sighed and tugged the girl against his chest. "Well, if you don’t like it..." With an almighty roar, Spike sank his fangs into the pale neck before him. Even as her blood was pouring down his throat in torrents, the girl did not scream. Nor did she cry. Her tears were too little, too late.

As the last drop of life drained away, the girl took a shuddering gasp and whispered in her tiny voice, "I forgive you."

It was when Spike heard these words that he threw the now lifeless body away from him with shock and disgust. He stood there, alone, until dawn had nearly risen. He did nothing in those hours but pant deeply and stare with wonder at the macabre scene that had been created by his hands.
*****

Hundreds of years later and hundreds of miles away from the morbid scene, William awoke with a start. Even though his clothes were drenched in sweat, biting cold raced through his throbbing veins.

~~~
I believe in you
I’ll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you
To live
To breathe
You’re taking over me
~~~

TBC...