Chapter 1: Now
The bartender refilled the shot glasses on the bar. It was a good night. His bar was filled with lots of patrons. Of course, they were all demons and liked to drink and fight, but it seemed tonight, all they wanted to drink. There were about five or six groups of different demons in the bar tonight, talking up a storm. There were also a couple demons that have had too much to drink and have passed out. “Then this little girl said, 'you never heard of a slayer? Well now you have’ then poof, all five dust.” The passed out vampire at the end of the bar, seem to waken and become very interested in the conversation. “Man, she was young, can’t believe they still are recruiting them so young, and alone. I thought they had them working with a team.” The ugly green demon was telling his friends.

“Mate, where were you that you met a slayer?” The previously passed out vampire at the end of the bar asked.

“Cali, some stupid little town with the Hellmouth, something dale, or something like that. She was a young one with a mouth! I can’t wait to go back and put something in it, if you know what I mean,” the green demon snickered as he elbowed his companions.

“Did I ‘ear you say she’s young? How young, twenty-six, twenty-seven, blond bint?”

“No, I mean YOUNG, like 17 or 18 and she was far from blond, she’s a red head, looked natural. And man, she was a fighter, that one. But that town was messed up. I’ve never been to a Hellmouth, but they are seriously fucked up, fifteen cemeteries. Good playground for someone to get down to business.” The demon was not interested in keeping topic that the vampire wanted.

Ignoring the ramblings of the green demon, the vampire pressed on. This could not be, a new slayer, eighteen? He thought that they called them when they were 15 or 16. “No, the slayer is about 26, blond, hazel eyes, little thing. Has lots of annoying friends that got patrolling.” The vampire started to use his hands as visuals.

“No, I am telling you, this girl was not blond, and she wasn’t a day over 18. I heard they called her when the last slayer was killed a couple years ago. I am still hearing stories of that one.” The demon chuckled with some of his memories. “And no one was working with her. I stuck around a couple days and the only person she had contact with was the ole’ watcher in that town.” The vampire stood up quickly and walked up behind the demon and lifted him off his stool. The vampire threw him across the room into a brick wall and strode purposefully up to him and lifted him off the ground.

“What did you just say?” The vampire almost whispered.

“The s-slayer w-wasn’t b-blond?” The demon sputtered.

“No, the other thing about the last slayer?” He roared while he shook the demon and banged his head against the wall. The vampire hadn’t acted like that in years. He usually spent his time passed out in some bar.

“S-some demon gang attacked her and killed her a couple years back, maybe four or more. I heard she was a good looking gi...” At that, the demon’s head was snapped in two and his head rolled to the floor. The vampire just stood there in thought. No, it couldn’t be. SHE couldn’t be dead. He would have felt it, wouldn’t have he, a couple years ago? He was supposed to protect her, he promised her, told her he saved her every night after that one he couldn’t. He didn’t save her. No, he told her he loved her, tried to rape her, and then left her. Just like the others. He was the wanker, not the others. He was supposed to be there, protect her. Protect the ‘Bit. Oh, No. What was she doing, did she survive? How could she? ‘Bit probably wasn’t out of high school yet when it happened. If big sis barely kept them together, what did ‘Bit do when she was gone? He promised to look after her and save her. He failed miserably, just another thing to add to the list.

The bartender came up behind the vampire and said, “Buddy, you are not good for business, leave now or be dust.” The vampire looked up at the bartender. The slayer was dead. No, HIS slayer was dead, isn’t that what the green git said. The new slayer worked alone, save the watcher. It had to be Giles. He had to get some answers. Spike snapped out of his thoughts and decided to go peacefully.

“Sorry, mate, just got a little over enthused, got to go see a guy about a girl.” He strode out of the bar and hopped on his bike.
~*~*~*~

“Thanks for picking me up, guys, I brought back LOTS of stuff,” Dawn exclaimed in the car packed with herself, luggage, Xander, Anya, Willow, and Giles.

“No problem, Dawnie, glad we fit everyone and everything in here. Seems you brought back half the islands with you,” Willow said looking around in the car. Xander was driving; sitting next to him was a large box and Anya clutching at a piece of Dawn’s luggage. In the back seat was Giles, Dawn, and Willow all holding some sort of piece of luggage or box containing souvenirs from Dawn’s trip.

“H-how was the airplane, did you get ill again?” Giles asked trying to balance the very awkward box that seems to hold a bunch of marble like objects that kept rolling around, shifting its weight.

“Oh geeze thanks for the mention….. Noooooo, I did not get sick this time around. I think with all the activities on the islands, I got over that ‘tummy turning flips just because you are in the air.’ After that one boat ride drying the second week, I doubt I will get sick again.”

“Did you join the ‘Mile High Club?" Xander and I joined it on our way to our Honeymoon, it was very nice intercourse,” Anya chimed in. After the debacle of their previous try at matrimony, Anya and Xander finally worked out all their issues and got hitched in an impromptu wedding at the local city hall.

“Uggg, NO!” Dawn exclaimed and wrinkled her nose. “Gross much? I think they frown down upon that.”

“Did you meet any hot guys?” Willow asked excitedly.

Dawn looked down and blushed, “Ummm, yeah I met a couple guys, but there wasn’t much time to date or anything.” Willow instantly felt bad when she saw the young woman’s embarrassment.

“Hey look, we’re here,” Xander spoke up as they neared the old house on Revello Drive, “Home, sweet, home.” Xander parked in the back and the group started to unload from the packed car. After the last of Dawn’s luggage and boxes were unloaded and in the house, the group decided to have a barbeque as a ‘Welcome Home’ celebration. Xander and Giles started the grill and Anya, Willow, and Dawn started to prepare the food. Once outside with the hotdogs, hotdog fixings, and potato chips, the group sat around the picnic table and started to tell Dawn about what has been going on in Sunnydale.

“Well, no apocalypses, but Traci did have a couple ‘big bads’ and ‘big bad wannabes’ to put down,” Xander stated.

Chapter 2: Then
Traci has been the slayer for the past 4 years. She was called right after Faith escaped prison and ran into a demon gang in Los Angles. At first, it was hard to get used to the idea of having two active slayers in Sunnydale. Buffy and Giles worked day and night training the new slayer for over a year. Each night Buffy would make Traci workout in the training room behind the Magic Box and then go out patrolling, getting hands on experience. Each day, Giles trained Traci in how to read prophecies and research different demon groups. Slowly, Buffy stepped away and eventually stopped being an active participant during training. Giles noticed that Buffy sent Traci out on patrols all by herself for nights on end. He finally realized what Buffy was doing, phasing her out so she could have a normal life.

“Um, Buffy…. I have noticed you have not p-p-patrolled in over a week,” Giles said as he took off his glasses and begun to clean them, “Is there something that is going on that you want to discuss?”

Buffy looked up from the table and the magazine she had been reading. “Oh, um, well,” she stuttered as she looked into her surrogate father’s eyes and realizing it was time to come clean, “Ummm, Giles, actually there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” She went back to her magazine and flipped it shut to show Giles the front cover.

“A travel magazine?”

“Yeah, I was thinking that it seems that Traci is handling the Hellmouth stuff. And Dawn seems to be doing OK with school. I was thinking,” she looks down at her hands fiddling in her lap, “that I might do some traveling. I’ll stay in touch and all; I just need to leave Sunnydale for a while. Maybe grow up a little by seeing the world.”

Giles put his glasses back on and just stared at her. Of course she deserves to travel, she has been been a slayer for almost 9 years. She has put her life on hold for others not only because she is a slayer but also as a friend, daughter, and sister. “Well, then, that sounds like a marvelous idea. You should go out and see the world. Maybe you and Dawn should go and visit your dad, where is he now? Las Vegas? You could visit the Hoover Dam and such.”

Buffy looked away and said “Um, yeah, Dawn and me can go see *him*, I bet that *would* be a wonderful visit.” She looked back and up at her watcher, trying to make him understand what she was feeling, “Actually I was thinking more like traveling by myself. Dawn is in college and all. Wants to spend all her breaks with her friends and all. Giles, I just need to move on, I am sorry. I feel the need to go… alone.”

Giles nodded, understanding the need to forget all the horrors she has endured over the past years. Loosing family, friends, and her loves. Preventing many apocalypses. Losing her life more than once, only to be brought back to fight more. Almost losing her self in the process of it all. “I think you would enjoy that. H-have you told anyone else what you are thinking?”

“Dawn knows, actually she talked me into traveling. Since Traci has been more than capable of taking over the slayer duties, it frees me up to do some soul searching. I haven’t mentioned it to Willow or Xander. They have their lives to live and they do not need to worry about me. But, I know I need to tell them that I am leaving for a bit.”

~*~*~*~
“What do you mean that you are leaving?” Willow exclaimed loudly.

“Not for good, Wills, just going to do some traveling.” Buffy tried to calm her friend down, “You know that I am not needed here like I used to be. I haven’t seen the world, heck; I have never been out of California.”

“B-but, what about us? We need you,” Willow looked hurt.

“I need you, too, more than I can say. But let’s face it. You have a terrific career as a teacher; your love life is on track. Xander and Anya are about to start a family. We haven’t done the Scooby thing in months. Traci has been able to take care of the Hellmouth. I think it is time for me to go and find myself. Since I was 15, it’s all been slay this and slay that, sacred duty blah, blah, blah,” Buffy got up and walked over to Willow to hug her as she tried to explain.

“I-I know…. but I can miss you, right?” Willow looked at Buffy with tears in her eyes, not ready to let her friend go out into the world alone.

“You better, Wills. I am not leaving for good, in fact, I was hoping you, Xan and Anya, Giles, and Dawn would come meet me someplace interesting. Maybe Niagara Falls or Mount Rushmore. Ohhh, maybe Washington, DC?”

“Oh, that sounds great! You will stay in touch, wont you?” Willow looked away, afraid of the answer.

“Now stop that Wills, of course I will stay in touch.” Buffy gentle hugged her best friend.

“Good, because you can’t go unless you stay in touch.”

Xander took the news of Buffy leaving a little better than Willow. He understood the need to move on. He had to move on from under his parent’s house. Now look at him, he is a successful Construction Manager, married to the love of his life that is carrying his first born, and they are ecstatically happy.

Buffy bought a new car to travel cross country, and gave the SUV she inherited from her mom to Dawn. For the next couple weeks her friends and Buffy sat down and studied maps of the United States and travel brochures so Buffy knew exactly which places she wanted to visit and others she wanted to avoid. She packed up her clothes and personal items, packed the car, said good bye to her friends and family, and headed out of Sunnydale.
At first it was hard for everyone due to the separation, but slowly, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Giles moved on. Each having their own life to lead. Dawn still lived in the house at Revello Drive, but her life was moving on also. Her college friends moved from the dorms into the house, just like Willow and her girlfriend, Tara, had a long time ago. She missed her sister, but knowing that Buffy finally was able to do something that she never was allowed to do, gave Dawn so much pleasure.

Chapter 3: Traveling
Buffy criss crossed the nation, traveling from one interesting town to another. In the first couple months, she visited New Mexico, Texas, Arizona, and Colorado. When Anya had the baby, she flew back to California to visit for a week. Everyone was different. Everything was different. Traci was holding her own with or without the Scoobies. The old house was filled with Dawn and her friends. Willow had a successful career as a teacher, and Xander now had a daughter. This made Buffy realizes that her home was no longer in Sunnydale; her family was, but not her home. She continued to travel the United States until she reached Maine. Her favorite state was New York. Everything exciting was wrapped up in one small (umm… BIG) package. She came back to Sunnydale to visit, not staying more than a week at a time.

The last time she came and visited; only a year and a half after she left to travel, she gathered her family together to let them know what she was going to do. “What do you mean you are going to settle in New York?” Dawn asked quietly.

“You told us it wasn’t going away forever, that you were coming back,” Willow said at the same time.

“I know what I said then, I did come back, and if memory serves me correct once every three months,” Buffy pleaded.

“Yeah, but you stayed in a hotel, not here,” Dawn looked like she was about to cry.

“Dawn, this isn’t my house anymore, it is yours. You don’t need your old sis to cramp your or your friends’ style.”

“Oh, that is such a load of CRAP,” Dawn screamed. “You first go away on a ‘vacation’ then when we all seem to be OK; you decide to make it a permanent vacation that is sooooo like you.”

Buffy looked over at her sister with pained eyes. “I am sorry you think that. I definitely never thought that I would want to live some place else, but this past year and a half, I have actually grown up, taken care of my self, and so have you all. I will always love you, need you but this isn’t my home anymore. Imagine me coming back here permanently… I don’t think any of us would be happy.” Everyone averted their eyes, knowing what Buffy was saying was true. Buffy started to pace in front of everyone. “Look, I am not asking for permission, in fact, it is a done deal. The journal I have been working freelance for is stationed in New York and has offered me a full time position with full time pay. I HAVE moved there. I guess what I am asking is: are you going to come visit me and visa versa, or are you going to shut me out?” Buffy looked around at her friends, hoping one of them would say something quick before she lost her nerve and walked away.

Giles was the first to say something, “Well, you seem to have grown up, quite a bit,” he put his arm around his surrogate daughter and hugged her. “I would be honored to be a houseguest after you are settled. You could even show me those Falls I hear so much about.”

Buffy looked up with admiration and hugged him back. “I know I can always count on you,” she whispered, “and you can always count on me.”

Anya was the second to chime in, “Well, since you are offering free room and board, I think we will take you up on it too. Feeding a 13 month old is too expensive. I’d rather you foot the bill.” Xander looked up at his wife, smiling at her subtle way of showing her support. “Anything to lower the bills, right, dear?” he hugged Anya.

Everyone looked over at Willow who had tears running down her cheeks. Buffy walked over and kneeled in front of her friend. “Wills, please, tell me you will visit?”

Willow looked up and tried to wipe away the tears, “Oh, Buffy why does it hurt so much?” Willow wrapped her arms around her friend and hugged fiercely. “Of course I will visit in fact, I want to be the first visitor,” Willow said proudly.

Buffy chuckled and nodded in agreement. She was so happy that her family has accepted the change in plans. She couldn’t wait until they came and visited, part of her secretly wished they would come in fall when the leaves change color. She stood up and hugged everyone, “You know, leaves don’t change color here, but they do in New York. I can’t wait until you all see the beauty!”

Chapter 4: Times Changing
Since the initial acceptance of Buffy living someplace else, she has moved twice. The journal she worked for wanted her to move to Colorado to write articles about the life there. So Buffy packed up everything and went back the way she came just 9 months before. She thought it was fitting to move closer to her family, yet still be independent. Of course no matter where she went she couldn’t get away from demons. It was a well known fact that a new slayer was called and there was only one. But it did seem like she would run into one or two demons planning something evil that couldn’t be ignored and she had to take care of it. Nobody seemed to notice, since the demon population wasn’t extraordinary compared to living on the Hellmouth.

After a year, living in Colorado, she was approached but another vacation and travel journal that wanted her talents in Hawaii. They would increase her salary by 10 thousand dollars with added bonuses. Who was she to argue? She called her family and friends letting them know, packed up her meager possessions, and hopped a plane to her knew home.
~*~*~*~
She still lived there; he came up the street and ducked into a neighbor’s yard. He heard a familiar laugh coming from the backyard and peeked over the fence to make sure she was OK. Then he saw it with his very own eyes. The Bit, Watcher, Red, Ayna, and the Whelp were all sitting around the table. She wasn’t there. Bit seemed all grown up and looked a lot like her older sister, her smile, even her eyes. He took an unneeded deep breath and noticed his nibblit even smelled like her. He couldn’t take it. She was gone, really gone. This was the proof. He walked away with tears running down his face. This was not a good idea. He shouldn’t have come. He should have stayed in New Orleans and stayed in a drunken stupor and forget about what that demon was talking about. He should have stayed away, like he planned. After he went to Africa and got the chip removed plus his ’bonus’ for a job well done, he decided the best thing for her was that he wasn’t around. She would live with her friends and family. He would survive, barely. He spent his time traveling Europe, staying out of trouble. He knew he could feed off humans, but it seems that he didn’t want to. ‘Damn Bint took that away from him.’ He no longer had his bite. After a year, Spike made his way to New York and ran into his old flame, Drusilla. She wanted her Spike back just like old times, said the stars said he was lost. She would follow him everywhere that he went, pestering him about the good old days and being a family. The thought of spending any more time with his Dark Princess revolted Spike. Finally, Drusilla gave up and left Spike to his own devices.

Suddenly he was in front of his cemetery, actually, not his. Not anymore. He walked up to his old crypt. He wondered if Clem still lived there, so he knocked. No answer. He opened to door and peered in, no one, not for a long time. He breathed in to smell the different scents, yeah Clem was here. He picked up a slight scent… her. Even after this time, she still haunted his senses. Breathing deeply, he sat down near the sarcophagus and tried to remember the good times he had with her here.

He sat there for what seemed like hours remembering the nights she came to him to help her do something that the others couldn’t. Make her feel alive. He made her feel alive. Suddenly he heard a noise: fighting. He heard someone slam against his crypt outside. Without thinking, he ran out. He was always ready for a fight, especially tonight. Nothing would have prepared him for what he found as he rounded the crypt. A rather tall, red hair, beauty stood before him, glaring at three fledgling vampires. Her head slowly turned to his direction. She was THE slayer. “Oh goodie, another one. Four to one, I like the odds,” she quipped. Taking his advantage, a fledging launched him self at her, but was dust before he could get two feet from her. The other two started towards her. She was fighting them off while Spike could only stare. She fought like her: kicks, punches, snappy comebacks. She was perfection, just like Buffy was. “Hello? Isn’t this the part where you say, I am going to drain you dry or something?” The girl looked annoyed. She must have dusted the two fledglings easily.

Snapping out of his mind, “Oi, right, well I don’t do that. You just crashed up against my home and I was investigating the noise.” He stepped away. He couldn’t take another slayer. Not right now, she reminded him too much of his slayer.

“Oh wait, let me guess, a vamp with a soul,” she sneered. “That gets old. Even Angel knows better than try to hang that one up anymore.”

“Um, huh?” He couldn’t believe this girl. She knew of Angel. He guessed he tried that pity party with her, too. “Look, I don’t wanna any trouble from a slayer. I just wanted to see what was going on.”

“Honey, I am not A slayer. I am THE slayer. I wish everyone would get over HER. I bet you knew her. You are not a fledgling. You got away? From the stories I have heard, she didn’t a lot get away. You must be really lucky.”

“Umm, yeah, well, alright then. Have a nice night.” He backed away.

“Excuse me, she may have let you go, but that doesn’t mean I will.”

“Go ahead, do it already.” Death wish. If she wasn’t here, he didn’t want to be either. Not with knowing he should have saved her.

“OH. MY. GOD. You are SPIKE.” He looked aghast. How? What? “I am right, aren’t I?” She giggled. “William the fucking bloody is standing before me with his cheat puffed out asking me to end it. Holy Fucking Shit. I can’t believe it. Wait until I tell Giles, he is going to FLIP. Do you hear me, FLIP. When did you get back?” She even acted like Buffy. Hot and Cold. First ready to pounce and then stepped back and was having a friendly conversation. How can this be?

“Are you going. if not I am tired and wan’ to go to sleep.” He took his chances. What is the worse thing, she stakes him and then it would be over anyway.

“No, silly, you are Spike right? Giles will want to talk to you about, ummm... HER. He would not be very happy with me if I don’t give him a chance.” Then she walked away. She turned around and said, “Hey, Spike, come to the Magic Box after sunset, I am sure they will want to talk to you.” With that, she walked away in the night.

Chapter 5: Vacation Slides
The group made their way into the living room. Dawn made popcorn and was walking in with a VHS tape, “Oh, Hawaii was so nice. I can’t wait to show you. Of course, the tape doesn’t do it justice. Everything was so colorful.” Dawn was excited to show the movie Buffy and her made while Dawn visited her. “Oh and Buff’s friend works for a local TV station and helped me put it together. It was awesome.” The group smirked at the young woman standing before them.

“Put the tape in already and let us see,” Willow snickered when Dawn finally took pause to breathe.

“Rude, much,” Dawn huffed. For the next hour, the group watched the TV watching the two sisters frolic and have fun. They all were memorized by the scenes of scuba diving, Dawn’s first try at surfing, the various nightlife establishments, and Buffy’s house. Sitting back with the remote, Dawn hit the rewind button. “Wow, Dawnie, it looks like you had fun. Who was the hot guy teaching you how to surf?”

“Oh, that is Sam, Buffy’s friend that I was telling you about that helped me with the tape.” The all looked around. Did Buffy finally have a new ‘friend?’ “Oh, geeze, guys. It’s not like that!” Dawn saw what they were all thinking. “He is just a friend, just like Xander. He also works at the ‘Forrest.” Dawn said proudly.

“Oh, that’s the club Buffy works at, right?” Xander quipped.

“Umm, yeah, actually, she didn’t tell you?” Dawn looked around trying to find someone that knew.

Giles spoke up, “Actually, Xander, Buffy inherited it a couple months ago. She didn’t want everyone to know, in case something happened to it.” Giles looked around, waiting for a response.

“Yeah, the guy that owned it, really liked Buffy, and when he passed away, gave it to her in his will. It’s a really awesome club, too. It has this really long bar and a couple small ones, all these exotic colors and plants, and an awesome dance floor. The place is packed every night!” Dawn excitedly rambled. She was so excited to see her sister so happy. “Oh, and it makes so much money, she is going to quit the travel mag bis. She said when she officially has made it past the one year mark; she is going to quit writing and start diversifying her holdings, whatever that means.” The gang was quiet. They all were reeling with the information Giles and Dawn have provided.

“She has lots of money?” Ayna asked a little miffed. It wasn’t fair that Ayna didn’t have the money. At that moment a knock came from the front door. Dawn got up to see who was at the door. When she opened the door, he faced brightened.

“Oh my god, what did you do to your hair?” Dawn squealed while she hugged the visitor

Traci shrugged and said, “Oh, got sick of the same old, hey is Giles here?” Dawn nodded and stepped aside for the slayer to enter.

“T-traci, this is a surprise. What’s going on?” The watcher knew something was up, he had a feeling all night. Not a bad feeling, just a weird feeling.

“Guess who is back in town and not looking too good?” She plopped in one of the free chairs with her leg casually draped across the arm of the chair.

Instantly, Giles knew what the feeling meant. “Spike,” he whispered. At Traci’s nod, he sighed.

“Spike, is here? Oh no, you better keep him away from me,” Dawn shook her finger at everyone. She still hasn’t accepted or forgiven him for leaving or for what he did or tried to do to Buffy.

“Yeap, I told him to come see you tomorrow at the Magic Box. He seemed, I don’t know… lost.”

“Lost, how?”

“Like he was seeing a ghost. He just kept starring at me. Almost like he was afraid of me. He backed away from me.” The group all exchanged glances. Spike back in town was not good. The all mentally tried to remember if they did the uninvited spell on their respective homes.

“W-well, I guess I am going to have a visitor tomorrow night. I suggest you all stay inside at night. Who knows why he is back.” Giles thoughtfully concluded. Everyone jumped up and made a quick exit. All thinking the same thing ‘Thank God Buffy isn’t anywhere near here.’

Chapter 6: Not so much confessions
Right after sunset, Spike strolled up to the door to the Magic Box. The last time he was there, his heart was ripped to shreds as she walked away from him. He knew he hurt her, but she acted like he wasn’t even worth it enough to punch. He stopped right before the door, took a deep breath, and reached for the doorknob. As he walked in, Spike noticed two things the place hadn’t changed much and the only person in the building was the heavily armed watcher.

“Why are you here,” Giles questioned softly while looking at the haggard vampire. He stood with an armed crossbow aimed straight at Spike’s heart.

“When?” Was the only answer.

“When what?” Giles asked as Spike moved closer. Giles raised a water gun filled with Holy Water as a warning.

“When did she…when the new one come?” Spike looked pleading into the watcher’s eyes looking for the grief in the watcher’s eyes that he felt.

“Four years ago,” Giles answered. “Why are you here, Spike? Wanting to get revenge on us?” He lowered his weapons a tad.

“What?” Spike vamped out “You, you think I want to hurt you? Is that why you are armed to the max?” Spike took a step away. He wasn’t here to fight or cause trouble, just to find out what happened.

“Actually, I have no idea. That is why I am armed. I know about your relationship with Buffy and what you did with Anya. Then you just walk away. You haven’t been here in six years. I have no idea if the chip is work…” At that, Spike grabbed Giles.

“You want to know about the soddin chip do you, see if I’m still nuertered.” Spike sneered. Giles nodded, knowing that Spike could kill him, but not moving to aim his weapons at him. “Well, if it still was in here,” he let go of Giles and raised his long finger to his temple, “I wouldn’t have been able to grab you. But that is not what I’m here for.” Spike stepped away and reached for his cigarettes and lighter.

“Why are you here,” the watcher repeated as he stood realizing that Spike heard there was one slayer and therefore thinks that Buffy is dead. Of course, that probably would be a good idea. If he thought Buffy was dead, then maybe he would leave and not cause trouble.

“I didn’t save her,” Spike quietly answered. “I promised her I would be there when she needed me, and I left. I didn’t save her from that bloody gang of hellions. I should have been there, no matter what, I should have been there.” Spiked looked away as his emotions pressed into his eyes and he started to cry.

“What do you want?” Giles took pity on the vampire. He was grieving for his lost love, not knowing that she wasn’t dead. But Giles certainly wasn’t going to correct him.

“What do I want?” Spike scoffed at Gile’s nod. “I want to be with the woman I love, but any chance of that is gone. Gone a long time ago. I want to know how? Why? Did she get to say goodbye?” Spiked hazard a glance at the watcher, regretting his action when he saw pity in his eyes.

“Alrighty, why don’t you sit down?” Giles let go of his weapon and sat down in a chair. Spike sighed and sat across from him. Giles recounted the demise of Faith, without mentioning names. He was telling Spike about the slayer that died by the hand of that demon gang. That’s what Spike wanted, asked for. Spike even mentioned the gang earlier. Giles wasn’t lying, just talking about two different people. Ok, he was lying by omission, but what was Giles supposed to do? Tell Spike that Buffy was rich and living in Hawaii?

“What happened to the gang of hellions?” Spike growled.

“We took care of them. They can’t hurt anyone else.” Giles said truthfully. He didn’t mention that Buffy actually hunted every last one of the gang for months until each met with their maker. Spike got up and started to pace. His mind was racing with thoughts. Why would his slayer let a stupid bloody gang of demons get to her.

“What about the Bit?” He asked suddenly while he whipped around.

“She is fine. More than fine. She is going to graduate early from school,” Giles slowly stood up and looked deep into Spike’s eyes. “But she made it clear she didn’t want to see you.” Spike didn’t look surprised. His emotions were indescribable. Grief, pain, love, friendship all passed through his eyes as he stood there. Spike nodded. “I never got to say goodbye to her last time, could you give her a message?” Giles nodded in agreement. “Tell her I’m staying at the hotel on 83, room 5. If she wants to talk or whatever, I’ll be there for the next three days.” Spike looked down at the floor. He had to do something things before he left. “One more thing, Watcher, where is she?”

Giles look like a deer in the headlights. Hawaii, but if he said that, Spike would have known she really wasn’t dead. Quick to come up with something, he stated “Umm, there is no burial site.” Spike nodded content with the answer. Spike got up from the table and started towards the door and then suddenly stopped.

“Rupert, for what it is worth, I’m sorry. I wish I could have prevented it.” Spike took the last step outside without looking back. Time to go for a walk and think.

Chapter 7: Confessions

Spike did his best thinking while walking. He was glad that the gang decided not to bury Buffy again. After waking up in a coffin and going through the torture of clawing her way up, her spirit would want to be free of the box for eternity. She is an angel, Spike mused as he looked up at the stars. Maybe she has been watching him from the heavens. He certainly hasn’t been watching out for himself the last couple years, he should have been dust at least two dozen times. Drinking himself into oblivion at night, only to be drunk enough to walk into the morning light, but at the last moment, changing his mind. He had to be better than that, for her. She deserved someone that could be there for her and he walked away. Not worthy. Not worthy of being a chicken and walking out in sunlight. He must suffer a life without her, for what he had done. He looked up during his musings and realized he was at Joyce’s cemetery. Another person he disappointed. How could he treat her daughter like he had? Joyce liked him, too. How could he do that to her and her memory? He trudged through the grave stones and markers to find hers. Maybe a little talk with her would make things clearer.

As he neared her resting place, he heard a tiny noise. Suddenly aware of his surrounding, he looked around. As he rounded a tree, he saw a crying angel. She was bent over Joyce’s grave sniffling and talking. Quietly he listened to the Bit as she talked to her mom. He was just telling her things that were going on in her life. School, friends, boys, just ordinary life events. Then after about twenty minutes her one sided conversation turned to a new topic. “Mom, Spike’s back. I know you always liked him, and I did, too. That is until I found out what he did to Buffy. How could he do that to someone he claimed to love for over a year? I know, Buffy said it wasn’t entirely his fault, that she treated him the same awful way, but Mom, he tried to rape her thinking it would make her love him. How messed up is that?” Dawn sniffled again, trying to understand. “You know, Buffy told me she forgave him for that. Forgave him, Mom. I asked her how and she said she had to forgive her self for letting it go that far and if she could do that she had to forgive him. She’s acting like she deserved it, asked for it. That’s just not right. Oh, and the kicker… he heard that Buffy was dead. That’s why he came back. Ha. He couldn’t come back before, but now she is gone he thinks he can just walk right in and pick up where he left off. Well, I don’t want to see him.” She was crying in earnest again. He hurt his Lilbit just as much as he hurt Buffy. Maybe worse. But if what the Bit said, Buffy found a way to forgive him before she died. She found peace before it happened. “And you want to know the worst part… no, I guess it is the best part of this whole thing is. The Scoobies decided not to tell him that Buffy isn’t dead.” Spike gasped and tripped as he took a step back. Dawn’s head swiveled in his direction. Her hand came up to her mouth and her eyes were wide open and round. “Ohmygod, no!” She screamed. “You’ve been listening to me? You are such a PRICK!” Dawn screamed at the direction of the vampire. He quickly regained his footing and stood up. Spike just stared at the young woman in front of him.

“W-what?” Spike stuttered.

“Oh my God they are going to KILL me.”

“She’s alive? Not dead?” Dawn nodded slowly.

Chapter 8: Explanations
“So here we are on this sailboat and I am strapped down on the side, puking my guts out. I swear to you, 20 foot waves bouncing us around. And Buffy is so trying to be cool about it, but I saw how she was holding on to that ropey-line thingy. She was holding on to dear life.” Dawn giggled at the memory of her sister looking so out of her element.

After the initial shock, Dawn decided that she needed to talk to Spike, so they went to a local coffee house that was open 24/7. She told him about how Buffy traveled and found a job at a tourism magazine and how she settled down in New York and Colorado. She told him about Hawaii and the vacation she just came back from. “I have pictures and this really cool video we took back at the house, if you want to see.” Dawn didn’t totally trust Spike yet, but he sat there quietly as she related her memories. Every couple minutes his eyes would sparkle at the thought of Buffy actually happy and having a normal life.

“So what about you, I heard you were going to graduate early?” He asked after Dawn finished up with some tales of Hawaii.

“Oh yeah, I guess I got the smart gene, must have skipped Buff, because I am graduating cum laude this year. I am going for the masters and then doctorate. You can call me Dr. Dawn.” She smiled at her joke and Spiked looked like he was in pure heaven. His little Nibblet was making something out of herself.

“Um, so I have a question for you.” He paused as she nodded. “Last time I was… um… well you two were barely making ends meet. Did you win the lottery?”

Dawn giggled at the thought. “No, somehow Buffy got a hold of our father and convinced him to step up to his duty and support me.”

“You have a Dad?” Spike asked incredulously.

“Believe it or not, yes, we have a father, not a Dad. Once he and Mom split and we moved to Sunnydale, he disappeared. Supposedly he was off screwing his secretary, but he never was here. Stop payment, etc. Buffy hated him for abandoning us. He was the first man to do that to her, you know.” Dawn’s scold didn’t bypass Spike, he knew what she meant. “She never wanted anything to do with him after a year. But she found him and convinced him that it wasn’t too late to be a father to me.” Dawn shook her head remembering Hank’s face when Buffy had him up against the wall threatening him with lawsuits and bodily harm if he didn’t cough up cash for school supplies for Dawn. “Then after Buffy found that job in New York and was working permanently, she set up an account for me in case I ever needed it. That money is allowing me to go back to school for the masters, she can’t wait to call me Dr. Dawn. She doesn’t really care what I do with it, each month she keeps adding to it, making sure I don’t have to go through what she did. When she went to Hawaii, she had a HUGE pay increase and she paid off the mortgage of the house and bought me a new car. You should see the house she has; I have pictures back home….” Dawn’s eyes went all dreamy thinking of the beach front property. “Oh and she now owns a night club and small hotel. It is the neatest place.”

“How’s that?” Spike was incredibly interested in how Buffy came into enough money to support her sister and then some. That’s all she ever wanted to do.

“Well, when she first moved there, she was working for another travel tourism journal, but you know Buffy, she loves the night life. So she got herself a part-time job at this local bar as a waitress or barmaid or something. The owner took a real liking to her and she liked him.” Spike started to get the wrong impression and jealousy flared up in his eyes. “It turns out that his guy ended up the ever present father figure (with out the actual father) in Buffy’s life. He didn’t have much family around and the ones that stuck around were just waiting for him to kick the bucket. So anyways, when he passed away she found out that he not only owned this hole in the wall bar, but he owned a restaurant and a hotel and he left them to her. Lock, stock, and barrel. Of course, his family wasn’t happy and tried to drag Buff into the court, claiming she seduced their 89 year old grandfather. His lawyer came to the rescue and proved that even before Buffy came around, he wasn’t planning on leaving his family anything. He was donating them to the state of Hawaii.” Dawn smiled at the look of pride Spike had in his eyes. Buffy did alright for herself. Even before she became and heiress, she was taking care of Dawn.

“So, do you miss her much?”

“Oh yeah, it’s nice not having to worry about money anymore, but having Buffy around is worth so much more. She comes and visits twice a year and we go visit her. It was really difficult right after she left, I mean Traci is a great Slayer, maybe even rivaling Buff, but she never was into the group scenario. It took sometime, but I think we all understand why she had to go now.”

Anger flared in Spike’s eyes, “No one is even close to Buffy…especially that bint. She might have a good show, but Buffy is the original.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way Spike. Buffy trained Traci over a year, so of course Traci fights like Buff, but I mean she can roll with the punches and adapt. Not many people can do that. And she gets the book stuff, too. Buffy never was into the research part of the job.” Dawn tried to explain, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Spike will always think Buffy is the best even after everyone is gone, he still will believe she was the best.

“So, anyway, want to see the video? It’s really cool. Buff has this really cool friend named Sam. He edited the video so it looks like a real movie. He even put music to it, under the voices and stuff.”

“Sure Nibblet, I would love to.”
~*~*~*~

The next night, Spike went over to the house on Revello. Outside, it looked the same, but inside was a different matter. The old wood and comfortable furniture was gone and in its place were modern, stiff pieces in its place. Steel, glass, and plastic seemed to dominate the decoration. This wasn’t the same comfortable house Spike remembered. Dawn sat him down in what he guessed Dawn thought was a comfortable chair and they watched Dawn’s vacation videos. Pictures of a very mature and happy looking Buffy in a bikini swimming in the ocean, in a sports bathing suit snorkeling, and sailing assaulted his eyes. The same pictures of a grown up Dawn swimming beside her sister, having fun in the sun made his heart break. They had a guy with them, filming the vacation, which made Spike incredibly jealous. He could never take the Summer’s girls out in the sun like they deserve. He watched as the video showed Buffy’s beach house, the three people having a cook out as the sun dips in the horizon, something he would only be able to see on the television. Then the scene changes to a club. The video rolled on as loud music was beating in the background and Buffy was behind the bar, mixing drinks like a pro. Next to her, was the same man that previously was holding the camera, they looked too chummy. His name is Sam, they are just friends, Spike keeps reminding himself. Pictures of Dawn and Buffy shopping in the local downtown are next. Then more swimming, this time in a private pool that Dawn says is at Buffy’s house. He watched as images of a very beautiful woman sang to his heart, pulling at something he thought was long dead. Her eyes sparkle even more than he remembered. Green and gold flecks dancing as she laughs at a joke that Sam was telling. Spike can’t take it anymore. He gets up to pace trying to stave off the tears in his eyes. This was proof that she really was alive. He skin was even more golden than he remembered. Her once long, golden hair was short, styled more maturely, and had more brown than blonde. She definite looked happy. And she looked normal. “Dawn, I’m sorry. I thought I could, but I can’t I have to go.”

Dawn chased after Spike as he headed towards the door. “Wait, you can’t do this again.”

He turned around and looked into her eyes, “Do what, Dawn?”

“Just leave. You can’t. You broke your promise once, don’t do it again. Tell me what is wrong?” He allowed her to pull him back into the house. They both sat down on the modern leather couch. She let him sit there in silence, letting him start the conversation on his own.

“I never thought I could come back. She would never be able to forgive me, what I did was horrible. I can’t forgive myself for acting that way. It was just terrible. I am a monster. No matter ‘ow much I tried to hide my demon, it figured a way out. I heard you talk to your mum, ‘Bit, I know you know all the ugly details.” He looked up into her eyes and she nodded, not really remembering what she said as she sobbed on her Mom’s grave. “So anyways, ‘ere I was, in some sodding bar passed out on the bar. And these vamps start chitting about the slayer ‘ere. Talking up a terrible storm, they were. I don’t want to tell you something they said about ‘er. Anyways, I heard Slayer and I immediately ‘ad my ears to their conversation. They told me about the old slayer dying in a gang in LA. Hey, wait a minute, Giles….Watcherman, told me about it. What the FUCK is going on.” Anger permeated Spike’s whole body. He got up, wanting to bust the watcher’s head in. “Where is he?”


”Oh, he must have been telling you about Faith. She was released from jail and was attacked the same night. Buffy tried to get there in time, but it was too late.” Dawn looked down at her hands. “Did he really tell you that was Buffy?” She looked up at Spike. Had the watcher said Buffy’s name? He couldn’t remember, but why would Spike care about Faith, someone he never even met? Of course, the watcher didn’t want Spike anywhere near Buffy. Spike never said Buffy’s name out loud just references about a demon gang. Shit, the watcher really didn’t lie, but he certainly didn’t tell the truth.

“I guess not, but ‘e really wasn’t clear as ‘e could have been.”

Dawn nodded, understanding. “So where do you want to go from here?” such a simple question with such a complicated answer.

“I don’t know, ‘Bit.” They sat on the couch for minutes in silence. “I don’t know.”
~*~*~*~

After Spike left the house, Dawn picked up the phone and dialed a very familiar number.

“Rainforest, this is Sam, may I help you?” A familiar voice came from the phone.

“Hey Sam, it’s Dawn, can I speak to Lizzy?” Dawn still giggled at the name Buffy was using. Her given name wasn’t Elizabeth, why did she go by it or any nickname derived from it?

“Hey, Buttons, she’s a little busy right now, a bunch of drunk kids walked in and want more drinks, she is trying not to embarrass them, but they are making that difficult. I’ll let her know you called. How have you been?”

“Oh just fine. Missing the fun in the sun of Hawaii.”

“Oh don’t give me that. I know California is just as sunny, if not more considering you do not have the mountains around.” He chuckled. Dawn blushed, thinking of how cute he looked in his swimming suit in the sun and how nice he was. Buffy is so lucky to find friends like him everywhere she goes.

“Yeah, well it’s not the same without Buf-Lizzy. What have you been up to?” Talking to Sam was so easy. He was one of those people that five minutes after you met him, it seemed you have known him for years.

“A little bit of this a little bit of that. Oh one good thing happened. I got joint custody of Jenna.” Dawn squealed at the good news. Sam’s ex-wife, mother of his child, was trying to keep Sam away from his own child.

“That’s wonderful, how?”

“Well, it’s thanks to your sister, she put her ass on the line in front of the judge, but it worked. I have complete half rights. We are now equal parents. I am so happy to be part of the kid’s life, you know? I missed so much because of her and her manipulative ways.” His voice dripped with hatred every time he talked about his ex, but filled with joy when he talked about Jenna.”

“That’s wonderful, Sam. I better be going, but please tell Liz I need to talk to her ASAP?”

“Sure thing, Buttons. Have a good night.”

Chapter 9: Waiting
Two days later, Buffy still hadn’t returned Dawn’s call and she was getting anxious to reveal her plan, but she wished she could talk to Buffy first. Dawn already knew Buffy’s position on Spike, but Spike needed to know.

Spike decided to stay in town for a little bit, only with reassurances that Traci wouldn’t hunt him. He wasn’t feeding on humans and he barely came out of the hotel except to hang out with Dawn. From sundown to sunup, Dawn and Spike would be together. They talked about his journey to Africa, but not the result. Dawn accepted him as is, it did not matter that he had his soul. Dawn showed him the travel journals, Buffy wrote for and the articles that she wrote. Every couple articles, it had a picture of Buffy in some sort of pose. Pictures of Buffy walking down a road laden with autumn leaves in New York, Buffy at a roulette table in Las Vegas, Buffy ready to ski down the Rocky Mountains, Buffy smiling in front of Mount Rushmore, and Buffy swimming with dolphins in Hawaii. Spike still couldn’t believe the life Buffy and Dawn were leading. It was bloody magnificent in his opinion. Both girls looked happy. He knew Dawn wishes her sister was still around, but Dawn’s life wouldn’t be the same if that was the case. Dawn told him about the lives of all the Scoobies, mentioning things that were monumental. He usually was quiet during her stories, sometimes she wondered even if he was listening. But when she looked deep into his eyes, she could see his brain ticking away, filing all the information away. Dawn also saw something else, something that was bothering her old friend. “Spike, what is it?”

“What, Bit?” He absolutely had no clue what she wanted

“Something is bothering you? What?” She pleaded.

“Nothing for you to worry about.”

“Don’t give me that, I’m a grown up person, I can handle it, whatever it is”

“Dawn, please, don’t.” He reached for her hand.

“No, I know it’s there, tell me.” She was as stubborn as her sister. How could he tell her that he had to go? Everything about Dawn reminded Spike about Buffy. Her scent, her long flowing hair, her eyes, her mouth, her personality it could go on for ever.

“I need to leave, ‘Bit. I’m sorry.” He finally admitted.

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Her eyes betrayed her voice. She knew what he meant.

“No, I need to leave Sunnydale. I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He stood up to leave.

“No, you can’t,” Dawn jumped up, “at least not yet.” She grabbed his arm to turn him around.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Dawn was trying to find the words. “I’ve been thinking.” Dawn stumbled. “How would you like a tropical vacation?”

“W-what?” Spike spit out in disbelief.

“I mean, I have been trying to get a hold of Buffy to let her know you are OK and here, but she hasn’t been able to return my calls. And I know she would be so mad if I didn’t let her know. So I was thinking, if she won’t come to us, we go to her?” She met his eyes and knew she just BLEW him away. He stood there looking into Dawn’s eyes, trying to figure out what game she was playing, but finally he decided she really meant what she said.

“No, I don’t think big sis would be too ‘happy if we just showed up on her doorstep.”

“See, Spike. I know her, better than you. I know she won’t mind. I mean she will at first, since shocker!! But after that. She will be all good with it.”

“No, you don’t understand, when I left, we weren’t in a good place.”

“Oh, Spike. I know. I know more than you, it seems. She doesn’t hold that against you, she actually doesn’t blame you for anything…” Dawn trailed off knowing she said too much already. Spike looked at her, realizing the implications, but unwilling to put words to it, so he just nodded in consent.

“When?” His voice squeaked, damn his emotions.

“Whenever, I have a free pass whenever I want to come, so as soon as we can get you the proper transport, I’m ready for a little more fun in Hawaii.

Chapter 10: Actions
Two nights later, Dawn left a message on Willow’s answering machine that she was going to go visit Buffy and not to worry that she would be back before the start of her last classes. The duo was off to Hawaii. Spike booked a night flight so they could travel together. Both enjoying the comfortable company once again, they sat and talked the whole flight. Finally touching down, they exited the plane and were hit with a wall of warm humidity and island scents. Spiked looked around, trying to take in the scenery, but the airport looked like any other airport. Not much difference. Dawn dragged the slacking vampire through the doors to get their luggage and to rent a car. Much to Spike’s dismay, Dawn insisted on a small convertible. “Geeze, it’s not like you are going to be driving during the day.” She reminded him in a huff. “Trust me; this is the only way to travel in paradise.” Spike paid for the rental car, and they packed their belongings into the trunk. Dawn directed him to the part of the island that Buffy lived and worked at. They slowly traveled the streets, letting Spike take in the local scenery. “This isn’t where tourist usually goes, so it’s basically like any small town.” Dawn got more and more excited as they neared the club that Buffy owned. Spike followed Dawns directions until they pulled up in front of a very busy club. He parked the car and got out to help Dawn. Dawn took his hand and tugged him towards the front doors. The outside wasn’t decorated much, except a neon sign with tropical plants on it with the word ‘Rainforest’ sketched on it. They walked up the walk way that was surrounded by many fragrant, tropical plants. Flowers of all different colors and flavors carpeted the ground around the walk way. Spike breathed in, not ready for what lay on the other side of the doors. Dawn stopped, took a deep breath turned to her companion and said, “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” was his only response.

Chapter 11: Rainforest

Everywhere there was color. Clear, vibrant color dotted the walls, the furniture, and the carpet. Everywhere he looked there were tropical plants taking up space as people milled around. If he could tune out the beat of the music coming from the club, he could almost hear the forest birds chirping and the animals calling out. Dawn once again, had her hand around his wrist and started to drag Spike into the innards of the club and then suddenly she stopped. “Um, maybe I should go get her and bring her out. I guess I will be enough of a surprise for her to take and then when she sees you she is going to flip... in a good way.” Spike nodded understanding Buffy might have a coronary if she saw both of them at the same time. He stepped away to take a seat on an empty couch at the front room. Dawn nodded at him and headed for the club. The bouncer seemed to recognize her and let her in the club without charge.

She stepped into the club and immediately headed for the closest bar to look for Buffy; she usually helped bartend when the club was busy. She sauntered over and looked at the bartenders, they didn’t look familiar and Dawn figured they were new so she moved on to the bar across the room. As she neared, Dawn saw Sam flirting with a customer. Finally, a familiar face. He looked up and smiled wide. “Hey there, Buttons. Lizzy didn’t tell me you were coming.” He winked at the customer and moved over toward Dawn.

“She didn’t know I was coming. Do you know where she is?” Dawn was looking around trying to find the head of her sister. “It is really important.”

“Sorry, Dawn, she isn’t around. I think I know where she is though. Want me to take you to her?” Sam leaned on the bar as he talked with Dawn.

“Um, I need to talk to her, but she hasn’t returned my calls this past week,” Dawn pouted.

“Yeah, I know, sorry. She has been busy with um… something,” Sam tried to explain without going into too much detail.

“Well, could you tell me where she is, I could go find her. A friend and I rented a car.” Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Dawn was the only person that came and visited Lizzy, he wonder who came.

“Boyfriend, perhaps, getting big sis’ approval?” He kidded. He took Dawns arm and started to weave in and out of the crowd in the club, trying to get to the main entrance.

Dawn blushed, “No, nothing like that. Just a friend that missed Buf-Liz.” They stepped out of the club and Spike stood up as they approached.

“Sam, this is my friend, Spike. Spike this is Sam.” Both men shook hands as they sized the other one up. Sam heard that name before, but couldn’t place it. The man standing in front of him wasn’t tall by any means, and was very pale. Even his hair was white. Something about the stranger’s eyes made Sam uncomfortable. Sam wasn’t scared of Spike, just not sure what his connection to Elizabeth was and that made him uncomfortable. “Sam where is she?”

“Probably at the hospital. The night you called looking for her, all hell broke loose in here. Some guy came in here looking for trouble and thought the Forest was a good place to find it. Emily, one of our waitresses, was waiting on his table and he got fresh many times so she finally slapped him when he couldn’t get the hint. Well, he wasn’t too happy about it, so he kinda grabbed her before she knew what was happening. Before Lizzy could get to them however, he broke five of Emily’s ribs, her nose, and her arm. Liz had us call 911, but the guy wasn’t done and decided Lizzy was his next punching bag. He threw the first punch,” Sam chuckled. “Next thing he knew, he was unconscious in the back of the patrol car.” Dawn’s eyes widen and retracted as Sam told the story.

“Who’s Lizzy?” Spike was a little confused. Weren’t they here looking for Buffy.

“Elizabeth.” Sam answered.

“Buffy,” Dawn corrected, “Professionally, she goes by Elizabeth. Liz or Lizzy for short.”

Light dawned in Spike’s eyes as he realized that they were talking about his Buffy. “But her name isn’t Elizabeth.” He was still confused. When they had Buffy’s tomb stone made, everyone assumed her real name was Elizabeth until Dawn told them that her name was truly Buffy. Why Buffy would go by any other name, it seemed so important to be called Buffy.

“I know, but when she was writing, Buffy Summers didn’t sound as good as Elizabeth Summers.” Dawn explained patiently. When Dawn first found out about the change of name, she didn’t understand, either. Buffy always corrected people about the Elizabeth situation. “So why is Lizzy in the hospital?” She directed the question at Sam who was looking at Spike like he was a green alien. Obviously, Spike must not have been in contact with Liz or such a good friend, if he didn’t know that she went by Elizabeth, now. He was cold, too. Maybe he was a vampire. Liz told him of the Slayer and demons when after they became friends. She told him about having two vampire friends. Maybe this was one of them.

“Oh, yeah, well. Emily was beat up pretty bad, and Liz felt so bad about it happening. So she has been spending all her time at the hospital until Emily is released.”

“Ewwwe, she really must feel guilty, she HATES hospitals.”

Sam chuckled, “That’s an understatement. But I bet that is where she is. Room 434, County Hospital. If you want me to go with you, I can. We just hired a bunch of new bartenders to help with the crowds.”

Dawn looked at Sam gratefully, “No, I think we can handle it, thanks.” Dawn grabbed Spikes wrist and started towards the door. “See you around, Sam.”

Chapter 12: Hospital
Dawn and Spike headed into the local hospital. Dawn went to the front desk and asked for directions to room 434. As they entered the elevator, Spike started to fidget. “Nervous?” Dawn asked slyly.

“What am I going to say to her? I mean, what is she going to do?” He was pacing in the little space he could. His mind was racing. Flashbacks of the last night they were together, when he tried to rape her entered his mind. Pictures of her having fun with him, laughing, smiling. Figments of his memories flashed as he remembered their first meeting, each encounter, his realization that he loved Buffy, her death, her rebirth. Everything was flashing. If Spike was human, he would have fainted.

“I wouldn’t worry about that, now, Spike. She will be too shocked to see you. She never thought you would see you, again. I think she will be happy and then the shock will wear off, that is when you have to worry. That’s when she will forget that she is happy to see you, and she will remember why you left. You two have a lot to talk through. I hope you two can before you kill each other.” Dawn smiled. Spike has no idea that Buffy wants him back in her life. Guess he will find out soon. “Please, PLEASE, tell her soon that you got your soul. I am sure that will work to your advantage.”

Spike looked at her like she just slapped him. “How… how did you know?”

“Hello, mystical KEY here. I can see it, very pretty, kinda shiny.” Dawn giggled. Ever since Glory was banished she developed some strange powers. Dawn researched the Key’s origins and powers, but didn’t come up with anything concrete.

“What, why didn’t you tell me?” Spike and Dawn got off on the fourth floor of the hospital.

“Just like how you didn’t tell me, huh?” Dawn crossed her arms on her chest.

“Touché, ‘Bit,” Dawn giggled.

“Ok, room 434, this way. Your Lady awaits.” Spike snorted. Yeah HIS LADY. Buffy was not a lady, and she would never agree to be his. “OK, here we are. Stay out here until I tell you, OK?” Spike nodded and Dawn turned to walk in the room.

“Oh my god, DAWN.” Elizabeth got up from her chair. “Emily, do you remember my sister Dawn?” The woman in the bed opened her eyes, nodded slightly, and closed her eyes again. “Sorry, they just drugged her up, she’s a little loopy. What are doing in my neck of the woods?”

“I missed my sister and she wasn’t returning my calls, I was getting worried.” Dawn scolded Elizabeth like she was a child.

Buffy looked down at the floor, “Sorry, I’ve been a little out of it lately, with the attack and all. You didn’t have to come here. They are releasing Emily tomorrow, so I would have eventually caught up on the calls.”

“Plus, I brought someone to see you.” Dawn got enough courage to introduce Spike. She ducked back out in the hallway and grabbed Spikes arm pulling him around the corner. “Come in.”

Spike emerged from the corner and looked up at his golden goddess. She was wearing a short blue jean skirt and light green crop tank top. All Spike could think was that she was a goddess. She wasn’t as thin as the last time he saw her, but she definitely was still too thin. Her stomach was flat, but her breasts had grown rounder and more mature. Her hair was darker and shorter, but still very beautiful. Her muscles on her arms and legs were more defined, she didn’t look as weak as she used to. She actually had a defined six pack and she had a belly button ring. Her whole body exuded power, beauty, and grace.

Elizabeth’s eyebrow arched as Dawn grabbed someone from the hallway. It was SPIKE. He looked the same. No, something was different. He wasn’t as cocky as he was before. No, that wasn’t it, something else. He was wearing his ever ready black jeans and black t-shirt. Clothes weren’t different. His hair was still bleached. That wasn’t different. It didn’t matter what was different. He was here, standing in front of her, finally. Elizabeth couldn’t believe it, he came back.

The instant that Spike walked into the room, Elizabeth slowly inched her way closer to him until she was a foot away. He prepared himself for a punch or kick, but what she did was unexpected. She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “You came back, I missed you so much, Spike.”

This had to be a dream. No way would the Slayer, admit she missed him. And then he felt it. A delicate, but noticeable kiss on his shoulder. She withdrew after a moment. But the emotion on her face could last Spike a lifetime. Dawn chuckled at the two as the gazed at each other without masking their emotions. Each not believing the other was standing right there.

“Ahem,” both looked at Dawn. “Maybe since Emily is not with it, we should go to your house and talk?” This brought Elizabeth out of her trance as she nodded slowly. “We have a car, so we will just meet you there, OK?” Dawn grabbed Spike’s arm and dragged him away, but Spike couldn’t get his eyes off of the woman standing in front of him. Dawn dragged him down the hallway muttering, “Well, that couldn’t have gone better.”

Chapter 13: Houseguests
Dawn and Spike made their way to the parking lot to the rented car. As Spike started the car up, he noticed Buffy walking out of the hospital with measured, confident steps. He watched as she hit the remote on her key ring and a midnight blue roadster convertible blinked its headlights and beeped confirmation. She slowly opened the door and slid her svelte body in the driver’s side, started the powerful machine and put it in gear.

“I guess just follow her,” Dawn pointed at Buffy’s retreating back lights. Spike put their car into gear and pulled quickly behind Buffy.

After a fast five minutes, the pair of cars pulled up to a modest looking two story beach house. The outside walls looked like white stucco with archways for windows and doors. Buffy parked her car next to the garage and got out. Spike and Dawn pulled up beside her and they got out of their car. Buffy already was walking through the first archway through a covered twelve-foot deep front porch to open the front door and disappear through it.

“Come on in, guys,” She hollered back to the two guests, trying to not make a big deal of inviting Spike in. Dawn followed her sister through the porch and front door, Spike bringing up the rear. When he walked in, he looked up to see the great room with a winding staircase in the corner. The walls were a rich green with a faux finish to resemble marble. To the right of the great room was a small room that looked like it was used as an office. To the left was a small dining room. Dawn dragged him through the front room to the living room directly behind it. He stepped down into the room and was hit with the brilliant image of Buffy’s inner sanctum. To the left of where they were standing was a relatively large kitchen that also was open to the dining room in the front of the house. In front of them Buffy was busy opening a series of French doors that lead to a deck. A low rumble of the ocean penetrated Spike’s thoughts.

“Wow, did you rob a bank or something?” Spike said in awe.

Buffy chuckled, “If you asked Palo, yes. But no, just got lucky.”

“Yeah, I heard ‘bout your friend passing, sorry ‘bout that.” If Spike could flush, he would. He was standing in Buffy’s living room, having a normal conversation with her. Suddenly the spot of wood under Spikes shoe was interesting as he studied it.

“Don’t be, Frank was ready to make the final journey.” Buffy smiled slightly at the memory of the 85 year old business man. She always thought he was just tending bar for the money, not for the hell of it. She chuckled at the memories of the cranky old man.

“Yeah, still, must ‘urt like a bitch.” Spike looked up as Buffy walked around the living room to round a bar.

“Yeah, well. Let’s drink to it. Still like Jack?” Her eyebrow rose.

“You know it. But of course Jimmy and Jose are my friends, too.”

Buffy chuckled nerviously as she directed her attention to her sister who just sat down on a deep blue comfortable looking sofa. “My usual,” Buffy walked around the front of the bar and set Spike’s glass of Jack Daniels and Dawn’s wine cooler down on the coffee table. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water for herself. She motioned for Spike to sit next to Dawn as she sat down opposite from them on a matching blue sofa. It was all too strange to see Spike again, especially in her house. All her memories and feelings of their past relationship started to bubble in her brain, cautioning her of the danger he presents.

“So, you two, what brings you to paradise?” Buffy tried to stomp down the bitch inside her and have a pleasant conversation, until either gave her reason for Bitchy Buffy to emerge. Dawn answered Buffy explaining that Spike came back into town, looking for her. Dawn did not mention he really was there to grieve for Buffy’s demise. She knew that Spike would not want Buffy to know that the only reason he stepped foot back into Sunnydale was when he thought Buffy was dead. Spike stayed quiet, studying Buffy’s reactions to Dawns explanation. On the outside, she seemed to believe everything that Dawn said at face value, nodding and glancing from Dawn to Spike every couple minutes. He could tell, she was just acting, trying to make them think she was taking the explanation at face value. He could always see into her. Always know what she was thinking. Her eyes weren’t cold, but they weren’t any where near warm. It seemed that Buffy was just taking the information in and processing it, without emotion. Evidently the return trip from the hospital had put the damper on her good mood about him being here. He better pad himself now for the eventual blow up in his direction. Whenever Dawn said something remotely funny, Buffy would smile or chuckle, yet the gaiety didn’t seem to enter her eyes. Always weary, always gauging, always adapting to the surroundings.

“So, you are telling me, after what? Six years you just happen to go back to Sunnydale? Isn’t that a little convenient?”

Dawn and Spike glanced at each other, both resembling deer caught in head lights. Just thirty seconds ago, Buffy was laughing and smiling along with Dawn. “Um, well, yeah.”

“You know what I think?” Buffy pointed to Spike. “I think you over heard some demon talk about a new slayer. And you thought that I must have died, again by the way, for a new one to be called. Then you thought it would be ‘safe’ for you to come back to Sunnydale. Am I close?” Spike and Dawn nodded. “Now, I don’t know how you figured out that it wasn’t me, but you did. I have to accept that. I have to accept a lot of things. Don’t I?” Buffy glared at Dawn at her last statement. “But what I don’t have to accept is you two coming to MY home, blasting smoke up my ass, and expecting me to play the dumb girl.” Buffy got up from the couch and started to pace in front of them. “What did you think? I would open my arms and accept you back into my life?” Duh, Buffy almost did that at the hospital. Spike looked at her warily, ready for an attack. She was always unpredictable. “OK, I did, at first. I mean, how did you two expect me to react to something like that?” Buffy caught Dawn’s eye, knowing her sister knew how Buffy felt about Spike. Only a little over one month ago while Dawn was visiting they got so sopping drunk that Buffy told Dawn she still wasn’t over her feelings for Spike. How she thought she loved him then and still. “Bam, there you two are, just like old times. Fucking up my life. And yes, I finally have a life!” She glared back to Dawn. “I fucking made sure YOU didn’t have to quit school to work in some grease pit that didn’t even make ends meet at the end of the month. I made sure you COULD have a life. And what do you do? Drag up my past, right as I round the corner to the future. Boy, thanks, Dawn. You are SUCH a good sister.” Dawn looked at Buffy. This isn’t the way it was supposed to go. Buffy was supposed to be happy Spike was here, that Dawn made Spike come. Not attack her and for all intents and purposes call her ungrateful and a bad sister. She was supposed to get a little miffed and talk the past out so they could move on.

“Bloody hell Slayer! Now wait a minute, she doesn’t deserve this…” Spike jumped up, ready to defend Dawn.

“Oh, don’t you start on me. She deserves all of this.” Buffy waved her arms around. “Everything I did was for her. Every painful step I took was so she didn’t have to take it.” Buffy stopped, took a deep breath and continued softly looking and Dawn’s tear streaked face, “Everything I sacrificed was for you.” Buffy stepped away. “Dawn you know how I feel about everything, yet you couldn’t even warn me? Give me a couple days warning, a days warning, an hours waning? Give me at least five minutes warning? Nope, you had to just shove all my past failings into my face again, without a moments notice?” Dawn nodded. This discussion went past Spike; this discussion was years in the making. Spike looked at the two sisters, not understanding the undertones of the argument. This was no longer about Spike and Dawn showing up unexpectedly. This was more than Spike’s and Buffy’s past relationship.

“I don’t know what is going on between you two, but I know both of your emotions are high right now and maybe….”

“Maybe you should stay out of it, Spike, you are right you have no idea you WEREN’T around, were you? Maybe if you were, you would know exactly WHAT is going on.” Buffy’s eyes flashed triumph for cutting him so deep, like he did her when he left, but it quickly dissipated. “Dawn knows what I am talking about, don’t you Dawn?” She cooed sarcastically. “Maybe if she would ever grow up and think about something other than the end of her nose, she will explain exactly what I mean.”

Dawn looked up and the pair who where glaring at each other. “Stop it!” The two (former) enemies moved their heads in unison to look at Dawn. “Ok, I know I sprang this on you, I’m sorry. But he was going to leave town, I had to stop him.” She pointed a long finger in Spike’s direction and then redirected it towards Buffy. “You wouldn’t stop him the last time, but I did this time. It isn’t fair for him, to live with your memory and not know what you know. And I know you know what I am talking about.” Dawn wagged her finger. “You two have unresolved issues and if you two can look beyond YOUR noses maybe you two can resolve it.” Dawn jumped up. “This argument isn’t about Spike, or me, or us showing up. This is about you facing the issues you said you were ready to face. Was it a lie?” Dawn held her hands out palms up and whispered, “Was it a lie?”

Buffy shook her head. “This isn’t about that, Dawn. That is between me and my past and who ever was in the past. This is about you pouncing on me and expecting me to go along with whatever story you concoct without questions. You never even flinched when I told you were blowing smoke up my ass, so I must have been right. Dawn, you should know better than to swoop down on me with this.”

“Look ‘ere, you Bloody BINT. Stop harassing her. So you two have issues, so we all have issues. This yelling thing you are doing? Isn’t going to change that we came ‘ere. Isn’t going to change that I am here. Isn’t going to change that you actually ‘hugged me at the ‘hospital. Isn’t going to change that I still have feelings for you. You can’t change the past and neither can I. But we can move on. Is you would stop bloody yelling at us.”

“Oh no you don’t. Spike, I’m sorry, but you can’t just come in here…”

“Bloody hell, did you just apologize to me? This is got to be a red letter day!” Spike smirked, proud that he actually could call her out.

“Shut up, Spike. For once, just shut up!” Buffy fumed. “What I was going to say was you can’t just walk in here and expect me to leave off where we did. A lot has changed. I have changed. I am sure you have, too.” Buffy whispered the last sentence.

“Oh, now you can admit I can change?” Spike liked how this was going. Six years ago, Buffy wouldn’t even admit this stuff. Now she was so seething, the words were just tumbling out of her mouth.

“You don’t give up, do you Spike? Look, I know you can change. There, happy?” At his nod, she continued. “But that means squat. You know that? The past? Means squat, too. But this? All this started because Dawn had to see my reaction. Isn’t that right?” Buffy glared at Dawn. “Couldn’t get over it, could you? Couldn’t get over that I broke free.”

“You know what? You are a bitch, Buffy. You are selfish, too. SO that makes you a selfish bitch. Not one month ago, you told me what you were willing to do to fix the past with Spike, and here you are making it about me.” Spike looked at the two sisters. This was too much. Too much emotion. Too much information. She wanted to fix things with him, but now it seems that is thrown out of the window. Not with her yelling at him.

Spike turned around and headed towards the back doors. He had to get out. Had to think the next course of action. “See you birds, later, after you two cool down.”

“Where do you think you are going?” Buffy screeched behind him.

“Told you, OUT, you Bloody Bint.” With that, Spike quickly escaped the emotionally charged house and started to walk down the beach. He didn’t know where he was going, but with all the revelations that occurred, he had a lot to think about. Back at the house, World War Three erupted.

“I can’t believe you just let him go, he came to see you and you can be is the biggest bitch in the world, more so now than in the past.” Dawn screamed at Buffy as she tried to search for the retreating form of Spike on the beach.

“Oh, Spike can take care of himself. This has nothing to do with him. This argument is about us, or more to the point the way you think you can do what you please.”

“Oh give me a break, Buffy. I know you are happy to see him. I know he is happy to see you, too. Just go after him and bring him back.”

“No,” Buffy crossed her arms and shook her head.

“What do you mean ‘No?”

“As in, I am not doing your bidding young lady. You can’t keep springing surprises on me and expect me to roll over.” Buffy’s voice returned to normal.

“What do you mean by that, aren’t you happy to see Spike?”

“Of course, Dawn you know that. But a little warning about it would have been nice.”

“I tried Buffy; I called the club and talked to Sam. I left messages on your machine. You never returned them.”

“Yeah, I was a little busy with Emily and business to drop everything and call you, unless you wanted me to call you at 3 in the morning?”

“But I never knew something was wrong.”

“No, you never thought. You know who you remind me of?” Dawn shook her head no, “You remind me of myself at your age. Other than the Slayer stuff and saving the world, I only thought of my needs. That’s what you did. Did you even think how I would react to Spike? Or how Spike might react to me?” Dawn didn’t like this. She wasn’t like Buffy. She only thought about how happy they would be. She knew both missed each other immensely. At least, that’s how is should have gone if Buffy wasn’t so stubborn.

“Of course, you two are supposed to talk, not yell at each other. And then you two would be happy.”

“I guess in Dawn’s world, that’s how it goes. But in the real world? We don’t get to talk it out all nice and calm. Spike and I bring out the worst in each other. We bring out pride, stubbornness, and passion. Those qualities don’t lend themselves to a nice adult conversation with each other. This is how we talk: lots of yelling.”

“That’s the lamest excuse I ever heard.” Dawn wiggled her finger at Buffy.

“No, it’s not an excuse it’s us. Ever wonder why we were such good enemies? Why we enjoyed fighting each other? Why we never could win against each other but kept on trying? But this is neither here nor there. Spike and I will find a way to talk, I promise you, so stop pushing, ok?” Dawn took a step back. She had promised to work on talking to Spike, but Spike as no where near here. And he doesn’t know the terrain.

“Maybe you should go after him.”

“No.”

“Oh come on Buffy, he doesn’t know where he is, he could be lost.”

“Trust me he isn’t lost.” Buffy knew this because she could feel him, no two hundred feet away, waiting, listening to their argument, protecting Dawn from Buffy’s words.

“You are so stubborn sometimes."
“Yeah, well, so are you. Now, we have to talk. You can’t just come down here; invade my life, without the slightest bit of warning. You’ve done it three times now, and it has to stop.”

“I’m sorry, but I thought you would be happy.”

“Dawn, this isn’t about being happy, this is about you thinking it is OK to bring your luggage to me, drop it on my doorstep, and then running away.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know. I know you don’t mean to, but you do and it is becoming a habit. I may no longer be your guardian. But Mom entrusted me to raise you right. And at the moment, I don’t think I have.”

“Buffy, don’t say that. Yeah we have had hard times, but I’ve never gone with needing anything. You always made sure I had all the basics and some of the not so basics. And you even are helping me with school.”

“Dawn, the only reason you haven’t gone needing anything is because of Dad. If he refused to help with the house and your school supplies, you would have gone without a lot. Which brings me back to the Number One time you dropped and ran?” Dawn had the decency to look ashamed. “Bringing our father to my home in Colorado so I could tell him to stay out of your life was a world of wrong.”

“I know, Buff, we’ve been through this…”

“Yeah, but it seems that I have to go over it again so you understand you keep repeating the same action.”

“But see, I’m not running.” Dawn giggled, “Spike did.”

Buffy chuckled at that, knowing the vampire outside heard it and started to pace. “No, not now, but I know you. You are planning on going back in a day or so, just long enough to make sure we aren’t killing each other.” Dawn nodded, her sister knew her too well. “So you may not be running, but in the future you plan to. Like I told you, this place isn’t some place you run to or from. This place makes you face your issues. You may not run from this, Spike, or me. You may leave or come when you are ready, but you are no longer allowed to run. Do we understand each other?” Dawn nodded again. “Ok, on to Number Two…”

“Ok, Ok. I get it. Don’t have to go to number two or number three. I promise there won’t be a number four, OK? Is that what you want to hear?” Buffy looked at Dawn and held her arms outstretched. Dawn quickly came into the embrace. “Are we good?”

Yeah, we are good.” Buffy felt the familiar presence retreat. He made sure they weren’t going to kill each other, but he still needed time. Buffy could respect that. “Look, Dawn, I will go after Spike, but not right now. He needs his space.” Dawn seemed to understand and nodded with agreement. “Hungry?”
~*~*~*~

“Buffy, it’s four, he still hasn’t come back; will you please go find him, now?” Dawn whined for the sixty-ith time. The two sisters were sitting out on the deck talking and playing cards. Buffy hadn’t felt Spike’s presence since he left after Dawn’s and her fight.


“Guess I better, since I have no idea where he went.” Buffy got up and headed down to the beach trying to follow the trail her Spike-sense could pick up.

Chapter 14 Confessions before the dawn
She could see his hair reflect the moon light in the distance. He was the same old vampire. Moody as ever. He was sitting in the sand, looking out into the ocean. As she moved closer, she could tell that he knew she was coming by the sudden tightening of his shoulders and straightening of his spine. He did not move to look at her or get up to walk away again. She quietly neared, afraid he would bolt again. Silently, she sat down two feet from him, looking out into the ocean. They both concentrated on the sounds and the visual landscape coming from the sea, as if all their answers would be found there. His body betrayed him as it relaxed, knowing it didn’t have to run away. It’s now or never, no witnesses to over hear their much needed conversation. “Spike,” Buffy whispered. “Why?”

Her soft voice broke through his thoughts running around in his mind and he swiveled his head towards her and said harshly, “Why what, pet?” She met his tear filled eyes with her own. She licked her lips slowly in anticipation. “Why did I try to rape you?” All the emotion he was feeling from the previous week ran through his words.

She snorted. “No, that’s not what I mean, I have that answer.” She moved her eyes back to the horizon in the sea. She knew she pushed him away and forced his hand that night. Not that he didn’t have blame, but so did she. During their sexcapades, no meant yes. And a little pain was just made the pleasure all that much more. If she stopped and thought about their relationship then, they wouldn’t have been in the situation now. Finally, she whispered, “I was so terrible to you. Not very nice of me to run to you and then push you away once I got what I needed. I never gave you what you needed, never stuck around.” She looked down to the sand. “I pushed you into a desperate situation, and I am very sorry that I did that.” Spike looked at her like she just grown two heads and three more feet.

“What?” He roared. “No woman deserves that. You didn’t ask for it.” Realizing he missed what she meant, Buffy decided to give the speech she has been practicing for 3 years, just incase she ran into him.

“I didn’t say I deserved it, or that I asked for it.” Her eyes came back to Spike hopeful that he could understand what she knew. “I just don’t think the blame rest solely on your shoulders.” She moved a couple inches closer and took his hand in hers. “I was terrible; I didn’t realize what I was running to or from. I was so confused at the emotions that I felt, when I felt them.” She squeezed his hand as he looked at their entwined fingers. “The desperation you felt that night… I didn’t understand then…but ever since you left, I ‘ve felt it, too.” He looked up at her ironic smile. Finally he felt a little bubble of hope start in the pit of his undead heart. Could she really have grown up and realized that he truly loved her and didn’t mean for their relationship to go that way? “I never knew how I felt, not until long, long after you left. When,” she paused for a moment and withdrew her hand but looked into his eyes, keeping some sort of contact, “when I said I couldn’t love you, I wasn’t telling you the whole truth.” He looked at her expectantly until she continued. “I couldn’t love. At all. I was ripped from heaven and put back into hell. How was I supposed to find love, how was I supposed to care about love? I didn’t know how. All I knew is that the love I felt in heaven didn’t compare to any of the feelings I found here.” He was about to remind her of her sister and her friends, but she kept going, “Of course, I cared for those around me, I had duties to do what was right, but love? I couldn’t, not only I did not want to, but I was too scared to. Even for Dawn, I cared for her, but love?” She shivered at the thought of her mental and emotional state all those years ago. “I am not sure it was there.”

He started to interrupt her, but she held her hand up to stop him. “No, if you don’t let me finish you will never hear it.” She smiled again, this time it hit her eyes. “It is true I ran to you to feel, the only time I felt anything was when I was around you, but I never told you what I felt, did I?” He nodded at her question, afraid of what she was going to say. Disgust was probably on the tip of her tongue. “At first, yeah, to me, it was just sex, wonderful, earth moving orgasmic sex, but each time I was around you, I began to feel something else, something deeper. It really scarred me. At the end, it was something else. Something I never felt before. Not even when I was with Angel.” Spike stiffened at the mention of his sire and competitor. “I ran away from those feelings I had. Scared to think about what they were or meant. I was trained to kill demons, but all I wanted to do was be with a demon, You.” She looked over to see how he was reacting to her little speech. He was just looking at her with his piercing blue eyes. She felt he could see her soul each time her did that. He stayed quiet knowing she had more to share. “I am… no was the Vampire Slayer, not the Vampire Lover, yet some how, I loved two. How did I come to fall in love with you?” Buffy questioned quietly. “Let you touch me in ways no one ever had or has since then. I touched you in ways; I never thought I would ever touch anyone. And the most confusing thing was I knew you loved me, even without a soul. I don’t know why that confused me back then. People with souls hurt the ones they love everyday. And even, some people are even incapable of love. So the soul has nothing to do with love.” Both sat quietly looking into each other’s eyes, thinking over what was just said. Finally, she got up and held out her hand. “We better be getting back, the sun is coming, Dawn’s worried, and this beach doesn’t need more dust on it,” She tried to joke. He looked out on the horizon, realizing he was so enthralled with her talking, he didn’t even notice the waiting dawn. She laid the past out on the line. How she felt back then. He finally understood why she ran away, but kept coming back for more. It was more than an addiction, he provided a feeling that she was yearning for since her trip to heaven, but was too afraid of to accept. Now, the only thing that plagued his mind was how she felt now.

“’ow long?” He whispered, wanting her to continue with her thoughts, knowing that she might lose the nerve to go on.

“Don’t worry, you know too much for me to chicken out to tell you the rest,” She giggled and shook her hand to remind him to get up. He took it and she helped him get up. The quietly made it back to her house. Both realizing, they were still holding hands. As she stepped onto the covered portion of the deck outside her kitchen, she let go of his hand and turned to look into his eyes. “Tonight, I will call off work. We have lots more to discuss. But for now, I want to tell you something really important.” He looked at her with all his emotions written on his face. She stepped forward, “I am tired and stopped running from everything. My problems, people, my emotions. I am ready to live once again, and hopefully you will see that I am worthy enough to live it with you.” She stepped closer and planted a chaste kiss onto his cheek. “Good morning, William.” With that she stepped inside with him as the sun made its way across the horizon. He stopped half way through the kitchen and grabbed her wrist to bring her to stand in front of him. Slowly, she turned to meet his gaze.

“Buffy,” Spike gasped as he brought his arms around her to bring her closer for a hug. They stood there in the kitchen, embracing each other. Both having tears running down their cheeks both in sadness for the past and happiness in what is to come.

Buffy finally stepped a little back, but still holding onto Spike. “Come on, Big Bad, it’s time you got some sleep,” with that, she took his hand and led him down the hallway and up the stairs.

Chapter 15 Morning

The house as deathly still when Dawn awoke. After the initial meeting and Spike running down the beach, Dawn was worried she made a mistake by telling him Buffy was alive and bringing him to her. Hopefully Buffy found him before the sun did, Dawn wasn’t sure if Spike would recognize this house from the beach. Dawn crept quietly into the bathroom to change out of her nightclothes. Listening at the door, Dawn heard nothing. She slips out of the bathroom and walks purposefully to her sister’s bedroom. She opens it slightly to look in and gasps. Dawn never thought she would ever see the image that she was seeing right then. On the big king size bed was her fully clothed sister, her back propped up on the headboard, and in her lap was a certain sleeping vampire. All the blinds and curtains were drawn to protect him from the harsh light of day. The deep purple room looked even darker. Buffy’s fingers were running through Spike’s hair gently, almost like she was petting him and it almost sounded like someone was purring. Buffy looked up at Dawn’s gasp and smiled. “Shhhh, he’s sleeping.” Buffy motioned for Dawn to come in.

“What do you think you are doing?” Dawn hissed. “If he knew what you are doing…”

“Shhh, or he will wake up and I think he knows what I am doing. After I found him, we talked, OK? He agreed to come home right before the dawn, but as you know, most of the house has windows with no blinds. So the only logical thing was for him to sleep here. After I brought him back, I was about to leave, but he asked me to stay here and just hold him.”

“When did you start doing what Spike asked you to?” Dawn accused, trying to hurt her sister’s feelings as much as her sister hurt Spike. IT was no fair that they blew up at each other and then lay down like nothing happened.

“Dawn, this isn’t the time or place. After Spike wakes up naturally, you can yell at me all you want for whatever reason you seem to be mad at me for. But right now, he is sleeping and he needs the rest.” Not to mention that Buffy herself is exhausted. The amount of emotion that ran through her when she looked into his eyes when he stepped around the corner would have tired her out to sleep for two days straight and add to that the emotion behind her earlier speech to Spike and Dawn. Not only was Buffy physically tired, but she was emotionally drained, also.

“Fine, whatever just don’t hurt him. He has been through a lot.”

“I know.” Buffy looked down at the sleep vampire.

“No, I don’t think you do. But you will,” Dawn said cryptically. “I am going to the beach. Maybe pick up some beach bum.” She was trying to change the subject. Knowing how Buffy acted towards Spike and knowing how it affected him was too much for her to bear.

“Yeah, I am sure Sam would let you do that.” Buffy giggled at the thought of her best friend scarring away all the guys around Dawn. Smiling at the thought of Dawn being angry and not realizing that Sam was being territorial because he liked her, Buffy shook her head.

“See, I don’t have to worry about that, he isn’t going to be there.” Dawn smiled to herself thinking of the big guy ‘protecting’ her from all the guys. He would be in that swim suit, too. Mmmm, yummy Sam in a bathing suit.

“Oh, he would if I called him and told him you were looking for a beach bum to bring home to have your way with.”

“Buffy you wouldn’t!” Dawn protested.

“If you wake Spike up, I will,” Buffy scolded.

“Fine, whatever. See you later.” Dawn turned around to go back to her room trying not to snicker. It was strange to see Spike laying there with his eyes wide open, looking straight at her while Buffy had no idea he was awake for the whole conversation. As she turned around, Spike closed his eyes and enjoyed the nurturing Buffy. She seemed to have grown up. Not only that her body was different, much softer than he remembered, but she also seem to have emotionally matured. From what she indicated before, she stopped running away from her feelings. Not only from the past but her present and future feelings. Spike was amazed that she admitted that she was feeling love or something close to it back then. He knew she felt something, but he never could get her to admit it. Every time he pushed for clarification, she would shut down and run off. If he tried to stop her, she would punch him in the nose and run off. Either way, she ran away. But this beauty that was stroking his hair wasn’t running. In fact, he heard her heart slow down as she must be drifting into sleep.

After Dawn left the room, Buffy shut her eyes and started to replay the conversation that she just had. What had Dawn meant when she said Buffy had no idea what Spike has been through. Evidently, Spike hadn’t told her yet. She could wait; he already took the first step and came here to see her. Buffy still couldn’t believe that Spike was here, in her arms. She thought about it for years, dreamt about the long nights they could spend together on the beach under the moonlight. Hopefully, she would still be able to get to live those fantasies out. After the initial shock of seeing him, the subsequent fight, she didn’t think he would be able to sit in the same room, let alone sleep in her arms. Slowly, her brain shut down as she fell into deep sleep. Vaguely she felt a weight move on her lap and something tugging on her legs so she could slip down to a horizontal position. The last thing she felt was a comforter spreading out on her and his body moving back next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Both slept peacefully.
~*~*~*~


Spike woke up with a start, automatically reaching across the bed for her, but all he found was a cold bed. She must have left a while ago. Quietly, he got up and headed for the door, but before he could turn the handle, he remembered Buffy’s earlier declaration that the house was mostly windows without blinds. He was stuck. In her bedroom. Filled with her personal belongs. A wide grin spread across Spike’s face and mischief filled his eyes. He strode over to her dresser and opened the top drawer. Silly, Buffy such a creature of habit. She still kept her unmentionables at the top. As he rummaged through the drawer, he heard a child’s cry from outside. He strode over to the drapes and tried to peer out without getting hit by the harmful sun rays. He looked down to the porch off of Buffy’s house and noticed the little girl he must have just heard. But she wasn’t crying, she was laughing. “Again, Aunt Lizzy, Again!” The little tot squealed as Buffy swung her little body around in the swimming pool. Spike watched as the girl that couldn’t be more than four held on to Buffy as the frolicked in the pool. Buffy must have felt his eyes because she looked up at the window and smiled. She took the little girl she called ‘Jenna’ out of the pool and started to dry her off. Quickly she dried herself off, and they started to head towards the house. Spike just stood there staring out, Buffy never mentioned a little girl, but she certainly looked like Buffy. Little pig tails, small little body in a cute bathing suit. If he found out who did this to her and left her single, he would throttle them.

Buffy quietly slipped into the bedroom as Spike was lost in his thoughts. She came up behind him and put her hand on his back. He jumped and turned around. “I know the house is filled with windows, I’ll fix it soon, if we are really careful, you can avoid a lot of direct light. Would you like to come out and meet Jenna? She is a sweet girl.” Buffy turned around, grabbed some clothes, and headed for the bathroom to get redressed. Spike stood there with his jaw clenched and his hands flexing as he tried to regain some sort of control. His anger was not meant for an innocent child. Buffy walked out of the bathroom dressed in a light pink top and short set. “Come on, Spike.” She grabbed his hand as she headed for the door. Opening it slowly to make sure he wasn’t hit with any rays, she walked out with the vampire in tow. They made their way down the hallway and down the stairs to greet the little pixie sitting at the kitchen table drawing a picture.

“Hey, Jenna, this is my friend, Spike, “Buffy talked in sweet tones as she addressed the little girl.

Jenna raised her head from her project and smiled sweetly at the man standing in front of her. “Are you like my mommy’s friends that sleep over?”

Buffy choked. Knowing Jenna’s mom probably had a different ‘friend’ sleep over each night.

“Sweetie, Spike is my friend and yes, he slept here over night. Spike, this is Jenna, Sam’s daughter.” Buffy looked at Spike as she addressed him. Obviously from what the little girl said, Buffy wasn’t Jenna’s mother. She must be babysitting for Sam. A thrill coursed through Spike’s body. Now that he got a better look at the girl, she didn’t look at all like Buffy except the pigtails. Her skin was a much deeper shade, her eyes were deep brown and her hair was not as smooth.

Spike sat down next to the little girl and asked, “Do you mind ‘f I draw a little bit, too?” The little girl’s eyes filled with wonder, adults usually didn’t want to draw with her. She nodded and handed him a piece of paper that she was drawing on. Buffy smiled at Spike as he watched the little girl draw with a purple crayon. Buffy silently asked Spike if he was OK so she could leave the room. He nodded as his attention was nabbed by the four year old.

“You draw, Aunt Lizzy, I drawing Daddy.” She ordered and Spike complied with mischief in his eyes. Buffy walked out of the room to start straightening the house. Five minutes later, Dawn breezed in through the French doors of the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Spike drawing with Jenna.

“Aunt DAWN!!!!!!!” The little girl screamed when she looked up. She jumped off the chair and ran to jump on Dawn. Dawn lifted the girl with ease only achieved with practice.

“Hey there, Jenna, how are you?” Dawn asked and looked over at Spike with a smile. He sat down his crayon, realizing he was still drawing and the little girl was not there anymore.

“Good, make me some chocolate milk.” The little girl had more in common with Buffy, bossiness. Buffy heard Dawn’s entrance and came back into the room.

“Hmmm, what do we say, missy?”

“Please??” Jenna batted her eyes at Dawn and Buffy scolded.

“That’s better, no chocolate milk, just plain of vanilla.”

“Banilla!” The girl squealed. Dawn put the girl down as Buffy reached for the milk in the refrigerator and a glass from the cupboard. Jenna ran out of the room to go get some toys.

“What’s she doing here?” Dawn asked and sat down next to Spike at the table.

“Her mom came here, pounding on the front door like a banshee at nine this morning, insisting since I stood up for Sam in the courtroom that I must take her today. Evidently, she had an ‘interview’ today and couldn’t find Sam.” Dawn rolled her eyes and was about to comment on the poor excuse of a mother, but Jenna flew into the room with a teddy bear clutched in her arms and she climbed on Dawn’s lap. Buffy sat the glass of milk in front of Jenna.

“Um, Dawn, I have a couple errands to run, could you watch Jenna for a little bit?” Spike’s eyebrows rose, wondering why she didn’t ask him.

“Sure thing, Buff.”

“Lizzy, she’s Lizzy.” Jenna piped in.

“Yeah, she is your Aunt Lizzy, but she is my Buffy.” Dawn said as she tickled the squirming bundle on her lap.

“Spike, could you come here for a second?” Buffy asked on her way up to her room. Spike dutifully followed, but a little hurt that she didn’t trust him enough to watch over the pint size. He followed her into the bedroom. “Spike, I hope you don’t take offense that I asked Dawn to watch over Jenna while I go run the errands, but Jenna knows Dawn. And if Jenn’s bitch of a mother ever found out I left her with a man she just met five minutes ago, Sam would go back into court. No matter that she was the one that dropped Jenna off here.” Spike nodded, realizing that her logic was right and she really didn’t mean to offend him. Buffy smiled up at Spike, “I’ll be back shortly. If you want to get any sleep, I suggest locking the door. Jenna tends to get a little nosy.” She winked and walked out of the room and downstairs.
~*~*~*~

Buffy came back with in the hour carrying steaks for dinner and a couple containers of blood for Spike. She breezed into the kitchen to put her purchases away and noticed Dawn sitting at the table. “Where’s Jenna?”

Dawn smiled and informed her that Sam came by to pick Jenna up. Evidently he got a message from his Ex about where he could find their daughter. Buffy shrugged and continued to put stuff away. “Where’s Spike?”

“I think sleeping; he locked the door, so I don’t know.” Buffy giggled. “So you two had the talk?”

Buffy shook her head, “Nope, not THE talk, just the start of it. When I finally found him, it was almost pre dawn, not much talking time. But he knows much more now than he did last night.” Buffy smiled a little. “I think he is willing to stay and talk things out.” She heard movement upstairs, Spike must be awake and listening in on the conversation.

“Does that make you happy?” Dawn prodded, also hearing a distinct sound of Spike.

“Well, it doesn’t make me unhappy. Dawn, you know I don’t know how I feel about it. I mean it’s been six years and we both have changed. But I do know we still have that passion that made us wild in the first place. If we can put reigns on the passion and stubbornness long enough to work stuff out, I’d be happy.” She heard the foot falls of Spike on the steps. He wanted in on the conversation. Both women looked over to the door from the great room, waiting for the object of their thoughts to appear.

Spike heard the conversation that the sister’s were having about him. Buffy actually admitted that she wanted to work things out and that she wanted him around. He wanted to be around, but in more ways than one. Sleeping in her bed, surround by her things, her scent was driving him crazy. Last night, he was sure he still loved her even more than he had in the past. She was so powerful, not physically but emotionally too. After Buffy got their father to help with the money issue, Dawn made her push him away for her. Spike knew there was no love lost between father and older daughter so he knew what kind of pride Buffy had to swallow to ask for help from her father. She may even hate her father more than she hated him. This revelation showed Spike that Buffy truly changed.

After she left the house, he took her advice and locked her bedroom door. The little girl, Jenna, followed him upstairs after a couple minutes and tried the door. Dawn came up after her and carried her away. Spike smiled at himself he still had it with the ladies. He sat down on her bed and took an unnecessary breath. Her scent surrounded him, making him hard. The shear sexual power her scent exuded was driving him crazy. After he heard Dawn and the little girl go out to the beach, he sat himself down at the edge of Buffy’s bed with a piece of lingerie he found in her top drawer. He held the silk up to his nose and breathed in and not noticing any other scent other than hers which meant she wore this when she was alone, no other man has touched it. He slowly unzipped his pants and reached in to massage his already stiff cock. She was truly beautiful and she wanted him back into her life. He knew that wasn’t just a line to get him back to the house. He breathed deeply into the silky fabric again. Buffy. Spike lay back on the pillows on the bed. Buffy’s bed. Up and down. Slow and steady. Up. Spike thought about his hand is it was Buffy. Down. He squeezed the base and touched that sensitive spot behind his balls. Mmm, Buffy. Up. Reaching the tip he squeezed gently as his pre-cum oozed out. Down. He thought about the argument the girls had last night. From what was said and not said, Dawn seemed to run to Buffy to clean up her messes. Including that wanker father, Hank. No don’t think about him, take another sniff of Buffy’s lingerie. Up. Buffy wanted him around, wanted to work things out. She forgave him. She’s moved on and healed. Down. She’s moved past her heavenly visit and decided this world wasn’t too bad. Ahhhhhh, he achieved paradise. Well, the only paradise he has found since the last night he was with Buffy. He looked around and found some tissues to clean up his mess. Spike looked around to discard the wad of tissues and couldn’t find any, so he went to the bathroom. Inside he found a large sunken in tub and many bath oils adorning the ledge of the tub. Spike heard the front door open and a man call out. A man was familiar enough to just walk into Buffy’s house. Spike was enraged, but quickly figured out it was Sam looking for the little girl. He absent-mindedly picked up various bottles of oils, smelling each one. Finally, he picked up an almost empty bottle and smelled it. Mmm, she still liked her strawberries and vanilla scent. His cock stood at attention again. It has been too long since Spike smelled Buffy, but his body remembered what it was supposed to feel. Quickly, he poured some of the liquid in his hand and went to pleasuring himself again. When, not if, Buffy and him got to the point to be intimate again, he didn’t want to ruin it by spilling his load too soon. She usually had at least two orgasms before he would summit to his pleasure, Spike didn’t want her to be disappointed. If things kept going the way they were, all she would have to do is look sideways at him. After he finished his second time, he heard Buffy’s come into the house. He listened in the bedroom, willing her to come up to him, but she was talking to Dawn about them. He quickly got dressed and headed downstairs.

Chapter 16: The afternoon

He rounded the corner into the protection of the dark dining room. All Buffy can think of is that the way Spike walks and carries himself is purely sexual. He moves as graceful as a jungle cat on the prowl. She imagined her as his prey. Tingles went down her spine at the erotic thought, maybe later she reminded herself. Spike looked at her like he knew what she was thinking and winked. Dawn seemed to dismiss this little play as nothing out of the ordinary.

Spike sat down. “So what’s on the agenda today, ducks?”

The girls looked at each other and shrugged. “I am planning on soaking up some heavenly sun on the deck. But if you want company, I can stay in?” Dawn pleaded with her eyes. Begging the answer is no.

“That’s alright, ‘Bit, go on, you don’t have much more time before your classes start again right. Go enjoy yourself. I think I can find something to pass the time in ‘ere.” He stole a quick glance over to Buffy who was blushing wildly. Oh yeah, she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

“Um, I have some phone calls for work and Spike and I need to talk some more.” Buffy tried to hide her blush and disappeared into the kitchen opening the fridge and putting something into the microwave. After a minute she came back with a mug and set it in front of Spike. He nodded at her in thanks. Dawn got up and headed out to the sunny deck.

“The upstairs bedroom has a TV; unfortunately, the living room is not very Spike friendly this time of day. Sorry.” Buffy offered with a slight smile as the two sat at the table.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Spike looked into the empty mug realizing the blood she offered him was human. “Wait, you g-gave me blood.”

“Yeah, remember? You? Vampire?”

“Yeah, but you usually gave me pigs… where?” Spike couldn’t believe that Buffy actually got human blood for him.

“Hospital, I know a guy that works at the blood bank. But I didn’t get a lot. So just go easy on it, Ok? There’s a carton from the butchers, too.” She looked shy. She got it because he looked so tired, that’s all. No other motives.

“You look tired, Slayer. Maybe you should go lay down.” Spike’s concern touched her. “I’ll even stay out of your way.”

“Oh, Spike. I wish I could, but I do have some phone calls to make. You go watch TV in my room. Don’t you usually sleep during the day?”

“Yeah, well, never was much more than a forty winks kind of guy.” Spike shrugged. Going back upstairs into her room meant another raging hard on.

“Still, go up stairs. I just have to make some calls; I’ll come up and see if you need anything in a few.” She smiled and Spike nodded. Both got up from the table and almost ran into each other. Buffy smiled as Spike let her out of the room first and she scurried into the makeshift office near the steps. Spike went upstairs to wait for her. Maybe she would hold him again. This morning was so nice, falling asleep in her arms.

After an hour and Buffy still hadn’t made her way up to her room, Spike decided to go look for her. He crept downstairs and peeked into her office. She was sitting at her desk with her face buried in her arms, snoring slightly. Spike shook his head and moved towards the sleeping figure. He picked her up easily and she started to stir. “Spike what?” Buffy looked up into his eyes as she round her arms around his neck.

“Shhh, pet. You need to sleep in a proper bed. Let me take care of you.” Buffy smiled and rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Spike couldn’t believe that she was letting him carry her up to her bedroom. He quickly went up the stairs; afraid she might wake up and come to her senses again.

Slowly he nudged her bedroom door open and strode over to her bed. Luckily, he turned down the sheets before he went down to look for her so he laid her down. She let go of his neck and curled up like a little kitten. He patted her head, letting his fingers linger on her short tresses and she stirred and said sleepily, “Spike?”

“Yeah, Slayer, it’s me.” He moved his hand away like it was about to be burned.

“Not slayer,” her eyes popped open.

“What?” Spike sat at the edge of the bed

“I said I’m not the slayer, aren’t you going to lie down, too?” He moved to the other side of the bed and lay down.

“Sure, pet, just making sure you were comfortable.” She moved across the expanse of the bed and settled right next to him, barely touching.

“Thank you for bringing me up, I must have dozed off down there.”

“Yeah, drooling and snoring, too.” Spike chuckled and smiled.

“I do not drool!” Buffy sat up and faced her tormenter.

“Do too, there’s a puddle on your desk.” His smile grew wider and the indignation she was showing.

“There is not!” She looked around guilty.

“You snore, too. Like a cute little kitten.” Spike ran one hand up her arm to her shoulder.

“I do not.” She didn’t back away.

“Want me to record it next time for you?” He reached up and put a stray hair behind her ear.

“No,” Buffy lay back down, this time his arms around her and half her body on top of his. They lay like that for a couple minutes, just enjoying touching each other again.

“You know, you will always be my Slayer.” He whispered.

“Spike, I’ll always have the powers, but no I’m not the slayer. I gave that up years ago. I’m normal girl.” Buffy moved slightly, annoyed that he brought it up again.

“You’ll never be a normal girl, you know that. How many demons have you fought since you gave it up?” He held her tighter, afraid she would pull away.

“A couple, but it isn’t like I was looking for them, we just crossed paths. Anyone would have done it.”

“Well, anyone would have tried, but you succeeded. You are still my slayer.” Spike stated and loosened his grip because it was obvious she wouldn’t leave.

“Spike, OK, I admit, I am a slayer, but I am not THE slayer, nor will I ever be again.”

“Still you are my Slayer and I’m not giving that up.” Spike said smugly.

“Fine, I’ll always be your Slayer, but I’m not the slayer.” She conceded. Spike actually won the disagreement. He was flying high.

“So, you don’t want me to call you Slayer?” Buffy nodded in agreement. “I can’t possibly call you goldilocks anymore.” Spike fondled her hair as she giggled. “Oh I know, ‘ow about kitten?”

Buffy giggled and moved her hand to rest on his un-beating heart. “Pet and kitten… I am beginning to think that you think I am not house trained.” Buffy looked up into his blue eyes.

“Oh I know you are house broken.” Spike smirked. Slowly he moved his lips down to meet hers. At first touch, their lips were tingly. Slowly he parted his lips to bring the kiss in deeper. Spike’s tongue traced the edges of Buffy’s lips. She parted her lips to allow access to his tongue. He pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss into her mouth. He gently massaged her tongue and teased it into his mouth. She moved to lie on top of his body without breaking the lip contact. Spike moaned as he moved his hands to rest on her hips. He hands were busy too. Her right hand wound itself up to the nape of his neck and played with the small hairs on the back of his neck. Her left hand was stroking his torso up and down and the kissed. Spike pulled Buffy closer and started to rotate his hips, letting her know how she was affecting him. Breaking the kiss he whispered, “Cor, Buffy, you are so hot, do you feel what you do to me?”

Buffy was breathing hard, trying to get her breath back and smiled innocently. “Could same a similar thing to you, Big Bad.”

Spike growled at her term of endearment and flipped them over so Buffy was underneath him. He moved his lips down to nibble on her ear. He gently kissed his way down to her neck and brought his hand up to Buffy’s breasts. He gently kneaded her right breast, making her nipple erect as he humped her thigh in a slow rhythm. Her hands weren’t still; she wound her arms around his waist and under his t-shirt, feeling his smooth muscles in his back work. “Spike,” Buffy gasped. When he didn’t stop, she tried to call him again. “Spike, please.”

“Oh, baby, you feel so good. Love you.” Spike whispered broken sentences.

“I know, Spike, feel so good, but we can’t.” He was still paying attention to her neck and breast. “Spike, please, we have to stop.” Buffy gently tried to push him away.

The erotic haze started to lift from Spike and he realized she said to stop. He pulled his hand away from her breast and quickly sat up. “Sorry, thought you wanted it, too.” He looked at the wall away from Buffy’s position on the bed.

She got up and raised her hand to the back of his shoulder, “Spike.”

“Sorry.” He mumbled again. He almost did it again. She said No and he kept going.

Reading what he must be feeling and thinking she tried to help. “Spike, it’s not that I don’t want to. I do a world of want.” Spike relaxed listening to her.

“Then why?”

“Because I want to too much.”

“Ha, no such thing.” Spike turned around to face her.

“Yes, Spike. I want to, a lot. But we can’t. There is just so much we still need to talk about.”

“We can talk and shag.” Spike offered with his eyebrow raised.

“Um, no… that’s not what I mean. Spike, please, we need to talk before we move there.” Buffy looked down shyly.

“Alright, Slay… kitten. Lie back down and get some sleep. Promise the Big Bad wont pounce on you and ravage you.”

“I thought kittens pounce?” Buffy lay down.

“I promised the Big Bad wouldn’t, I didn’t say anything about sexy little kittens.” Spike winked and lay back down too. “Now, get some sleep, Kitten. We have to talk later.” Both laid on the bed, snuggled up to each other. Finally, Spike sensed Buffy’s heartbeat and breath slow down to sleep mode and he finally succumbed to sleep also.

Chapter 17: Sweet Dreams

They were on the beach. Spike held Buffy on his chest as they watched the sunset over the horizon. A picnic basket was to their left with a bottle of champagne sticking out and two partially empty flute glasses on top. Buffy ran her tips of her fingers over Spike’s chest, teasing his nipples. Spike ran his hands down her back and up, slowly marking he back with sensual circles from the tips of his fingers. Buffy looked up into Spike’s eyes and smiled as she brought her head to rest inches away from his own. Very carefully, Buffy reached down to caress his hard erection. “Now, now, pet, mustn’t do that.”

Buffy pouted her bottom lip as far as it would go. “Oh watch it, going to get it, going to get it.” Spike brought his hands to her sides and tickled her until she squealed his name. He stopped his fingers and brought her body closer to kiss her mouth. Slowly she parted her lips to tease his lips with her tongue. His hands wound their way into her short tresses and he guided her mouth down to his neck, letting her nibble on the most sensitive parts of his skin. “Beauti… beautiful. That’s what you are.” He gasped for unneeded air as she trailed her mouth around his neck. He hands found their way back down to his waist and started to unbutton his jeans. He brought his hands up to her shoulders and slowly pushed her away. “Let me get that, kitten.” Swiftly, Spike divested himself of his clothes and started on her clothes. Suddenly, they were laying there next to each other naked. Timidly, Spike touched Buffy’s breast and caressed it. “Gorgeous.”

She brought his head down to be even with her nipple and whispered, “Yours.” He took the offered nipple in his mouth and started to suckle erotically. He moved his hand down to her pussy and started to massage the wet folds with his palm. She moved her leg to put some pressure on his erection as he massaged her. He parted her sweet lips with his fingers and started to rub deeper. “Spike… need you.” Buffy whispered. He brought his head up from her breasts and looked deep into her eyes. Finding desire and love, he kissed her deeply, letting his tongue make love to her mouth.

“Baby you got me. I’m yours.” Spike moved to position himself at her wet opening. He slowly inched his way into her heat. “God you are so hot… My bloody sun… going to burn me, baby.” Spike gasped as he entered her. Buffy arched her back and whimpered at the slow pace Spike was setting.

“Need… you… now.” She kept chanting as her inner muscles quivered around his cock. Spike couldn’t stand it anymore. The things her muscles were doing were driving him mad. He slowly pulled out and plunged back in. He moved faster as she encouraged him to go faster and harder. He took the back of her knee and brought it up underneath him and hooked her calf around his shoulder.

“Oh baby. Feel so good. Like that?” Buffy bucked at the new position as Spike found her special spot. She closed her eyes as fireworks erupted in her mind. Spike slowed his pace, as he felt her muscles contract uncontrollable. Suddenly, he felt himself go and roared his primal roar.

The two bodies on the bed jumped apart as they woke up from a fantastic dream only to realize it wasn’t so much of a dream. Buffy’s shirt laying on the bedside lamp, her shorts and underwear at the bottom of the bed. Spike’s jeans were around his knees and he was shirtless too. “OH MY GOD, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod” Buffy chanted as Spike regained his senses. They just had sex. Probably the best sex they ever have had and they slept through it. “ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.”

“Stop saying ohmygod, Slayer. That was bloody wonderful, pet.”

“ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.” She chanted as she got up and put her clothes back on.

“Oh so that’s ‘ow it is, is it?” There was a knock at the bedroom door.

“Spike, Buffy? Are you two OK?”

“Dawn?” Buffy answered about to open the door but at the last moment changed her mind. Spike was still on the bed, but had his jeans back on.

“Yeah, I heard Spike yell or something. Is he in there? I couldn’t find him anywhere else in the house.” Behind the door, Dawn smirked. She knew exactly what just happened and why they weren’t opening the door. “Are you two alright?”

“Um, yeah, Dawn. Spike just… ummm…. Stubbed his toe. Yeah. He just stubbed his toe, but he is OK now. Right Spike?” Buffy looked over at the vampire sitting on her bed. He nodded, at a loss for words. “Say something,” she whispered.

“Yeah, stubbed my bloody toe. No big deal.” Spike crossed his arms over his chest. She was ashamed of what happened. Ready to kick the Spike and run out.

“Ok, going back out to the deck, now.” Dawn ran down the steps. Something wasn’t right in the bedroom, but she didn’t want to investigate it yet.

Buffy walked over to the bathroom and closed the door. She looked into the mirror, trying to find the answers to her thoughts there. They just slept together again before they could talk. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Need to talk first. Sleeping before talking, bad. Very bad. Suddenly, the door swung opened and revealed a very pissed off vampire. “Back to hiding, huh, pet?”

One look into his eyes, she melted. “Spike, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Yeah, well you did. Care to clue me into why you profess that you stopped running and want me but then run away? Because from where I am standing, you just did run off like you don’t want me.”

“No, Spike.” She waved her arm in front of him, like a shield.

“No? Huh, is that so, Slayer?”

“No, I mean yes… no wait.” She took a deep breath trying to calm the emotions in her head. “What I mean is that I didn’t mean to sleep with you.”

“Oh is that so, I’m so bad.” Spike stalked out of her bathroom and started to pick up his clothes and throw them into his duffle bag.

“Oh God. SPIKE! Stop, please listen.” He stopped but didn’t turn around to face her. “I didn’t mean to sleep with you until we talked. That’s it. I’m embarrassed ok?” He turned around to look at her pleading eyes. “I haven’t… I haven’t been with someone for so long and… and I’m embarrassed, OK? I jumped your bones while sleeping.” Spike’s face broke out in a wide smirk and he started to laugh, not some quiet chuckle, but a full laugh. “What’s so funny? Huh? Oh sure. Chuckle it up at my expense.” Buffy turned swiftly and locked herself into the bathroom. She turned on the faucets to the tub and sat down on the edge of the tub. He body racked with tremors as her eyes poured tears down her cheeks. The humiliation that he just bestowed on her just put the final nail in his coffin. No matter what happened in the past, she didn’t deserve this. She just thought it was one of her dreams, one that she had many times. There was a quiet knock on the bathroom door, but she didn’t move to answer. The knocking became louder and more persistent. “Go away!”

“I will not bloody go away. Open this door.”

“Why, what for so you can laugh at me again. I don’t think so.” The tremors in her body subsided, but her tears were still running down her face.

“Open. The. God. Damn. Bloody. Door. Before. I. Kick. It. Down. SLAYER.” Spike flexed his arm, ready to punch a hole through it.

Suddenly the door whipped open to reveal a very angry woman. “You.” She jabbed his chest with her finger. “Will. Not.” Another jab. “Ruin.” Jab. “My.” Jab. “Property.” He moved away and hit the bed. He topped down, sitting on the messed up bed.

“Then don’t lock yourself away, kitten. Come here.” He spread his arms out, beckoning her to come to him.

Buffy moved two steps closer and then shook her head and move back. “No, get out.” She moved to go back into the bathroom.

Spike got up and quickly got to her before she could close the door again. “Not uh, pet. Not going to ‘happen.” He carried her from behind, pinning her arms to her chest. He moved to sit back down, but this time with her in his lap. “Now, tell me what I did to make you so angry.”

“I. You… Oh let go of me.” Buffy struggled.

“Nut uh. Not going to happen until I know why you locked yourself away.”

“You know what you did! Let go of me you stupid vampire!” She yelled as she struggled, trying to scratch his arms with her nails.

“No, pet, I don’t, but if my kitten keeps on trying to scratch me, I’m going to have to get her de-clawed.”

“You laughed at me. Humiliated me. Let. Go. Of. Me!?”

Spike let go, but she didn’t move to get up. He put his hands on her shoulders and started to massage the tension in her back, “Look at me, kitten.” She turned around to look at him. “I wasn’t laughing at you, I was laughing because you thought you jumped me and I thought I jumped you. See? Ironic? Isn’t that funny?” He smoothed her hair away from her face. “I would never try to humiliate you, pet. Please believe me. I was embarrassed because I was asleep and didn’t even wake up during it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Buffy looked into his eyes, trying to read what she saw in them. Finally satisfied that he was sincere and didn’t mean to hurt her, she smiled and relaxed. “Spike, I didn’t… I mean. I really wanted us to have before we… well what we just did.” Buffy looked away shyly.

“Buffy, as far as I am concerned. We really didn’t have control of what was happening. I assume you thought it was a dream?” She nodded, “So did I, luv. As amazing as it was, it really wasn’t us, now was it?” She smiled and nodded. “So we can still have out talk, OK? No worries about it, OK?” She wound her arms around his neck and nodded. He held her tight as they both tried to let go the demons raging in their heads.

Chapter 18: The talk
Buffy and Spike sat on the bed for what seemed like hours. He held on to her waist, not willing to loose contact. She seemed content enough to let him hold her for a while until her butt started to lose feeling. She wiggled around, trying to find a more comfortable position. Spike just held on to her tighter, letting her feel what her wiggling has done to him. “Spike, please, I can’t feel my ass anymore,” she whined.

“Not ready to let go. Isn’t it time for that talk you were talking about, luv?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Let me go and sit next to you.” She wiggled again and Spike let out a warning growl. “Fine, but if I pee my pants because I can’t feel, don’t yell at me.” Spike gasped at her outrageous comment and let her go. Buffy got up and stood in front of him. “OK, the talk?” Spike nodded. “Let’s start with you, OK?” Spike didn’t like the sound of where this was going. “Where have you been?”

“’ere and there, kitten. Come ‘ere, luv, you promised to sit next to me.” He patted the bed next to him.

“I will, soon. My ass is numb, got to get it un-numbed. Where is here and where is there?” She started to pace in front of him, trying to wake up her behind. Spike rolled his eyes and gave up.

“You know, kitten, I can wake that cute behind up if you come back over here.” He patted his leg and snickered.

“I am sure you could, and maybe you will, but you are changing the subject. Now… the question at hand is where were you?”

“Oh hell, luv. I was everywhere. You name it, I probably was there.” He realized his tactics weren’t working.

“Specifically, where were you when you left Sunnydale. I looked everywhere. I followed any lead. It was like you fell off the face of the earth.”

“I kind of did there, luv.” She arched her eyebrow like him. “At first I went to Africa, and then I bummed around Europe for a bit. About two years ago, I came back to the states. New York, Las Vegas, New Orleans. You know some of the big cities.” Spike shrugged.

Buffy finally had feeling back in her backside and sat next to Spike on the bed. She wanted to reach for him, but didn’t. “Why did you go to Africa?”

“Ahh, pet. I know I have to tell you, but you maybe mad.”

“You got the chip out?” No malice was in her voice or face. Just worry.

“Yeah, kitten.” He looked into her eyes. “The chip is out.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And why haven’t you gone back to your old ways?” Spike was shocked that Buffy could tell he didn’t go back.

“Luv, if you don’t know that yet, then we are hopeless.” Spike got up to pace.

“Spike, I didn’t mean it that way. You never came back. If you didn’t go back to biting for me, why didn’t you come back to me?” She got up in his path.

“Cor, Slayer. What I did… it was horrible. At that moment, I was everything you said I was. Evil, disgusting, a monster.” She shook her head no. “Yes, I was. I didn’t go there to do that, but I did.”

“Spike, I told you this last night, you didn’t do anything by yourself.”

“Slayer.” He growled a warning.

“I told you, you stupid vampire, do not call me that. You weren’t alone in that abandoned building, you weren’t alone at the DMP, you weren’t alone in your crypt, and you certainly were not alone in the BATHROOM! OK? We both have parts that we played in there and I will not have you take all the blame. It belongs on both of us. Maybe if I wasn’t so scared to tell my friends about us it wouldn’t have gone that way. Or maybe if I had enough courage to tell you what I was thinking back then, we would have worked it out. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. But I have accepted it, why can’t you?”

“Luv, kitten. No, I can’t. If you hadn’t stopped me…” Spike sobbed. Buffy came up in front of him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He leaned in for comfort as she rubbed his back. After a while his sobs stopped and he pulled away. “I shouldn’t have come ‘ere.”

“Now who is running away? Spike, hello.” She spread her arms out. “I’m here. I’m willing. Or don’t you want me?”

“Oh kitten, don’t ever say stuff like that. Of course I want you. Always want.” He came forward to wrap his arms around her protectively.

“Or is it you don’t love me?” She whispered. Spike tightened his hold, almost to pain.

“Don’t,” kiss on the head, “Ever,” another kiss, “Think,” A longer kiss, “That.” He moved his lips down her head to her lips. Slowly he moved his expert lips across her mouth, showing her how much love he had. “I will always love you, Buffy. But ‘ow can we move on?” Buffy pushed away from Spike just a little to look up into his eyes.

“I think we are doing fine. We are talking. We are touching. That is what matters.” She leaned in a little and brushed her mouth against his. “Spike, I was afraid that when I saw you again, I would be disgusted. But when you stepped out from behind that corner, all I could think of was that you were here, that we had another chance.” Spike nodded. “Spike, I know what we’ve been through. But if we just talk it out when it comes up, we will be OK? Are you willing to try?”

Spike nodded. “Buffy, luv, there is something else you need to know.”

“What is that?” She wound her arms around his torso, happy that he wants to work things out.

“While I ‘as being de-chipped, I kind of also gained something.” He hugged her fiercely.

“What’s that, big bad?” She kissed his chest, “A soul?” He stopped squeezing at her correct guess. “Oh my god, you got a soul? How?” She stepped back.

“’twas part of the process, I guess. I don’t know. I certainly didn’t bloody ask ‘or it. They jus’ gave it to me, like a booby prize.”

Buffy crossed her arms on her chest. “A soul is not a booby prize.” He leered at her chest as she said it.

“OK, kitten. How about giving me my own booby prize then.” Spike grabbed her waist and brought his head even with her chest. She mocked struggled against him and brought her hands to his shoulders as he nuzzled her breasts.

“Spike, are you serious?” Spike nodded into her breasts, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Spike looked up while still rubbing his face in her chest, “Don’t know, pet. I wanted to, but something told me to wait.”

“Oh, Spike. I lo… can’t believe you got a soul.” She stopped herself. She was not ready to tell him that she loved him. Spike caught her little hesitation and let it go. If those words were so close to the surface, it was just a matter of time that she wouldn’t hesitate.

He stood up, still holding on to her waist, “So, kitten. I have heard you’ve been a busy beaver. What did you do on your summer vacation?”

“Oh, a little of this and a little of that.” She said coyly. Walking over to the bed.

“Well, let me tell you what I heard and you can fill in. Ok?” He walked over to sit beside her and take her hand into his. “You trained a slayer. Very good, if I do say so myself. She new who I was, too.” Buffy giggled. “And you left your friends to go on your own soul searching. Ended up writing a few travel articles for some magazine. They hired you and you settled in the great state of New York.” She nodded and he continued, “But you didn’t stay long. Move to Colorado. Isn’t that it?” She nodded again. “Stayed a couple years and then moved here where you befriended an old coot with lots of money and ungrateful kin?”

“Yeap, in a nut shell. Now, I work part time at writing and full time at the ‘Forrest.”

“What do you do there?”

“A little of this, a little of that.” Spike gave a warning growl at her mock of him. “I manage the back operations of the club while Sam manages the front. He takes care of the staff and ordering. Everything else I pick up. When we are short staffed, I fill in.”

“And the hotel?”

“I am strictly hands off. I hired a management team. I don’t know a lot of the hotel business, but I know night clubs. All that time I spent at the Bronze ended up coming in handy.” She smiled and he nodded. He gently pushed her back on to the bed until she was lying down. Slowly, he ran his hands from her waist to her shoulders, caressing her through her shirt. He ran his hands down to her arms, tickling the soft skin near her elbow down to her wrist. He brought his hands back to her hips and moved them under her shirt. He moved his right hand towards her belly button.

“Well, what do we have ‘ere? A belly ring.” He flicked the ring with his long index finger causing her to gasp. “Very interesting. This wasn’t ‘ere before.” He brought his mouth up to hers and coaxed her tongue out to play with his. Gently, have flicked the ring with his fingers as he parried and thrust with her tongue. He moved his other hand to the side of her head to touch her hair.

Buffy pulled away and gasped, “Spike, please stop,” he looked up in surprise. “If you play with my belly ring anymore, you are really going to make me purr… loudly.” He moved his hand away and sat up, startled. “Not that I don’t want to, it’s just Dawn is right downstairs and she already made a trip up here once.” Spike nodded but looked away.

“Sorry, pet, for making you uncomfortable.” He looked down at the bed spread.

“Spike, listen. It’s ok. Just not ready right now.”

“I know, pet. I just went too quickly.” He looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. She said no, and he almost didn’t hear her again.

“Come here, Spike.” She grabbed his head and kissed his mouth passionately. “I will tell you if I am uncomfortable. And trust me, that wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, I am really comfortable,” she wiggled her butt next to him. He growled and lifted her up unto his lap. “Nut uh, got to fix dinner.” She wiggled her finger in front of him.

“I do believe this flap jack is ready to be flipped.” He grabbed her waist and twisted to she would land underneath him. Buffy squealed and tried to get away from his roaming hands, but she couldn’t evade them. “Kitten, purr for me,” he demanded as he ran his hands down her ribs towards her belly button.

“Nope, not going to. Got to make dinner.” She twisted her way out from underneath him and headed to the door. “Come down and keep me company, the front of the house should be OK for you.”

“Oi, Slayer. Already downstairs, remember?”

“Yeah, Mr. Know-it-all, but the sun position changed.” She stuck her tongue out and ran down the steps. He followed immediately trying to catch her. He almost ran into the kitchen after her, but the sun rays stopped him.

“Damn windows,” Spike muttered as he sat down at the dining room table.

Chapter 19: Nightlife

After dinner, the three friends were sitting on Buffy’s deck, watching the surf roll in before it got too dark. Buffy made daiquiris for Dawn and her while Spike nursed his beer. Dawn talked about school and her latest boyfriend. Every so often Buffy would hazard a glance in Spike’s direction only to find him staring back intently at her. He told
The girls of the trials he endured to earn getting the chip removed and his soul. The girls were enthralled with his story telling. Buffy sat there listening to the two guests share their stories with her.

Around nine, Dawn suggested that they hit the nightclubs and show Spike a good time. Spike and Buffy agreed and the girls went up stairs to get ready. Finishing off his beer, Spike wandered around Buffy’s living room. He didn’t get a good chance last night and this afternoon because of the sun. On the interior wall there was a large entertainment center with all the latest popular gadgets and a big screen TV. He moved over to sit on one of her comfy couches and noticed two picture frames. One held a picture of the Scooby’s. Spike figured it was before the Hell Bitch, Glory, came into town and took away Buffy. He noticed the carefree looks each of the subjects held. Xander and Anya looked happy and in love. Willow looked amused. Tara wasn’t present, must have been before they got together. Giles looked annoyed, but happy. Buffy had the biggest grin on her face. The happiness reached her eyes and shown through. This was a little girl that evolved to the beautiful creature upstairs. He never thought Buffy would turn out so beautiful: mind, body, and spirit. She is so strong, even now when she doesn’t have to fight the monsters that plagued her life. The other picture was taken at a beach with her mom, Joyce, Dawn, and Buffy. They all looked happy to be together. Spike silently promised to take care of the Summer’s women, even if he sacrificed himself for it. He quickly put the frame down as he heard Dawn lumber down the stairs. She came into the room wearing a brown halter dress with a short skirt that barely covered her unmentionables. Her long hair was pulled up to the nap of her neck in a clip. She was definitely a young woman.

She did a twirl and asked, “So how do I look?”

“Very nice, pet.” Spike knew he would be beating off the boys with how she was looking.

“Only nice, huh? It used to be Buffy’s, but I snagged it before she moved out.” Dawn shrugged as she sat down to put her shoes on. Buffy walked into the room. She was wearing an emerald green short sleeved dress with a sweetheart neckline and a hemline right above her knees.

“Cor, you look gorgeous.” Spike exclaimed as Buffy walked past him to sit down and put her shoes on.

“Oh, I see. She gets a gorgeous but all I get is a very nice. I see how it is.” Dawn chided Spike.

“Pet, if you left something to the imagination, you might get more than a very nice. But you didn’t” Spike gently chided back to let her know how she looked. He was still staring at the beautiful woman to his side.

“It used to be Buffy’s dress. I bet you would have said it looked gorgeous on her.”

“Actually he told me I looked like a slut when I wore it, too. Why do you think I didn’t argue when you said you wanted it?” Buffy giggled and pinched Spike’s arm.

“When did you wear that dress?” Spike looked over at his love.

“Oh, a couple times. Once when we were… um… meeting at your crypt and I… um….” Buffy was obviously embarrassed.

“You were what?” Spike raised his eyebrow. Buffy moved over and cupped her hand over his ear and whispered something. Spike choked as his eyes got wide. If he could blush, his face would be fire engine red. “And you let her wear that after we…” He shook his head as Buffy giggled.

“You did what?” Dawn demanded. “Am I going too wigged out? No don’t tell me. I like this dress; I don’t want to burn it.” Buffy giggled and got up, indicating to them that she was ready.

~*~*~*~
The trio walked into the noisy club, by passing the bouncer and cover charge since Buffy owned it. She headed over to the V.I.P. table and indicted for her two guests to sit. She headed over to the bar to get some drinks. Spike and Dawn sat down at the table with a wrap around booth, looking out onto the club. The dancers were mainly teenagers getting their grove on before curfew. Luckily, there were a couple older couples coming in, starting their night off early. Sam walked over to the table with a beer, a shot of tequila, a daiquiri, and water. “Sorry, guys, Lizzy got held up in the kitchen. She ordered these for you. Just let me know if you want anything else. Oh, and do you guys want anything to eat?”

Dawn perked up, “NACHOS!!”

“Anything else? Spike?” Spiked looked at the young man warily. He was part of Buffy’s life and Spike had no idea what it was like. He only spent 24 hours with the new her, this man knew her better.

“Got any of those onion things?” Sam nodded. “Oh, and spicy buffalo wings.”

“Sure thing, man.” Sam turned around and headed back to the bar.

“Possessive much?” Dawn asked as she sipped at her frozen concoction.

“Just don’t know about him, pet. He’s part of Buffy’s life that I just don’t know about. And he calls her Lizzy.” Spike rolled his eyes at the distasteful name.

“Yeah, I know. This is nothing like the life Buffy used to live. As for Lizzy, I got used to calling her that too. She lets Buffy slide at home, but in public, especially here, she is Liz, Lizzy, or Elizabeth.”

“Yeah, don’t have to like it. Lizzy” He shuddered. “What do you know about the bloke?”

“Sam?” Spike nodded. “Oh, he’s real nice. You met his daughter, Jenna today.” Spike nodded again. “Well let’s see. He worked here when Buffy first came to the island. I guess they struck up a friendship immediately. He helped her get the job here without previous experience. He has a nasty ex wife, but from this morning I am sure you got that. She refused to let him see Jenna. He went to court trying to get his rights back, but she kept bringing up his past and he kept getting denied. I guess to the courts, it didn’t matter that he got his life back on track, to them he still was a screw up.”

“What did ‘e do?”

“I don’t know. It was never discussed, but he did go to jail for a couple years. Anyway, he was having a terrible time with getting Jenna. Then poof, Buffy inherited all the money from the guy that owned this place. She vowed to help him and hired him the best lawyer that she could. Again, poof. He started to get visitation without a court order. I guess the bitch thought they would drag her into court to take away her rights since she wasn’t as upstanding as she made her self out to be. But all they did was drag them into court to get equal rights. Sam didn’t want Jenna to be cut off from her mom; he just wanted to be part of Jenna’s life.”

“He sounds OK,” Spike said dejectedly. He wanted to hate Sam. He knew Sam had feelings for Buffy. His Buffy.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Here you go!” A waitress plopped down their tasty treats. Spike looked up and realized it was Buffy. He moved to let her sit in the booth next to him.

“Sorry, guys. A minor disagreement in the kitchen. But all is well now.” She snagged a piece of the flowering onion.

“Oi, pet. That’s mine. Order one yourself.” He tried to smack her hand away.

“Awe. Poor Spikey. Big Bad Liz is trying to steal a piece of your onion.” Buffy joked.

“Hey Buffy I’ll share with you. The nachos are too big to eat by myself.” Buffy’s eye’s got wide and she smiled.

“Thank you, Dawn. Good to know where my true friends are.” Buffy smirked over to Spike and stuck out her tongue. To Spike’s dismay, she got up and moved across the table to sit next to Dawn. Grabbing a nacho she stated, “MMM, much better than the stupid fried onion. Plus, I made this while I was back there, so I know it is good.” Buffy smiled sweetly at Spike as he scowled at her change of positions.

“Really? Are you sure it isn’t poisoned, luv. Because we all know she can’t cook.” Spike smirked at Dawn.

“Oh, nasty, evil vampire.” Buffy pouted. “The nachos are not poisoned. But I can’t guarantee your wings aren’t.”

“Seriously, Spike you have to try a nacho. They are the best. Buffy’s famous recipe.” Dawn said proudly. Her sister combined the best of all the nachos she ever tasted. They were very spicy, yet not overpowering. Spike scooted closer to Dawn and grabbed a chip with the ingredients on it. He took a bite and closed his eyes. His mouth was watering as the spicy chip made its way down his throat. It was even better than the damn onion that made Buffy switch places.

“You did not make that, its good.” He smirked at Buffy.

“I did, too. Just because I couldn’t cook before doesn’t mean I haven’t learned. I made dinner, didn’t I?” She crossed her arms on her chest a little mad that he was making fun of her.

“Yeah, but dinner doesn’t even compare to those nachos!”

“Yeah, go ahead and eat your stupid fried onion and wings. You can’t have any more nachos, since I made them and they MUST be poison.” Buffy stuck out her tongue. He went back to his food and took a buffalo wing. He chomped down angrily and realized it was the best wing he ever had. He closed his eyes in ecstasy. The wing was divine. If Spike didn’t know better he thought it was the Devil’s recipe himself. “I hope you don’t mind. I made those extra spicy for you. Also my recipe, thank you very much.” Buffy said proudly.

“Cor, you made these, too?” Spike looked from Buffy to the plate of wings.

“Yeah, well. What do you think was taking me so long?” Buffy huffed with indignation. How dare he question her skills.

Dawn had enough. “Ok, back to your corners. Spike, eat your wings and Buffy, help me with the nachos. I declare peace.” Buffy and Spike chuckled as Dawn tried to calm them down.

“OK, guys. I need to ask you something. No one here knows of Buffy. Please use Liz. OK?” Dawn nodded, forgetting about her request.

“I refuse to,” Spike answered as he chomped down on another wing. Half the plate disappeared already.

“Please? No on here will know who you are talking about if you call me Buffy. Why?” She took the bait.

“Because it isn’t your name, kitten. I refuse to call you a sissy name like Liz or Lizzy.”

“Spike, my name isn’t cor, pet, luv, or kitten either, but that doesn’t stop you.”

“But those aren’t sissy. And those are my names for you.” Spike finished the plate with in a minute. He smacked his lips and moved to the fried flower onion.

“And Buffy isn’t sissy?” She was getting mad that he refused to abide by her request.

“Well, yeah, but that’s the name your mum gave you, so it’s OK.”

“How about Elizabeth? Buffy is just a shortened version of it. Please Spike?” She gave him the best impression of Dawn’s doe eyes and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

“Come over here and sit next to me and I will think about it.” He smirked as he finally found a way to get her to go back to her original seat.

“Not if you are going to be calling me Buffy.” She shook her head amazed that he was trying to blackmail her.

“How’s this, luv. I won’t call you Liz, Lizzy, or Buffy. I’ll think of using ‘Lizabeth. Just get you luscious ass over here.” He demanded as Dawn choked on her drink.

“Spike! How could you!” Buffy squeaked as Dawn tried to breathe calmly.

“Lizzy, get up, I need to go to the bathroom. Someone just made me spit up my drink!” Buffy got up to let Dawn scoot out of the booth.

Buffy sat back down and went to scold Spike at his outlandish comment, but he wasn’t in his old position. Instead he slid himself over, impossibly close to where she was sitting and grabbing a nacho. “So you made these, sugar lips? Very good, I must say.”

“Sugar lips?”

“Yeah my new name for you. Come ‘ere and let me taste.” He snaked his arm around her shoulder bringing her body even closer to him.

“Spike, I can’t believe you said that in front of Dawn!” She looked at him. His lips were only a couple inches away from his.

“Awe, pet. Come sit by me, I promise to let you have some onion. I was just teasing you.”

“Nut uh, Mister. You were a very bad man, making Dawn spit out her drink.” She chided him once more before she let him slide her over in front of his plates, his arm never leaving her shoulders.

“What can I say, my kitten. I am a very bad, rude man.”

“No you aren’t. I know you better than that. If I sit here, promise not to embarrass me with anymore talk like that? Promise?”

“All right, pet. If you sit next to me, I won’t be making with the embarrassing talk in front of Dawn. But you know what? You really do have a luscious ass.” He swooped down to capture her lips before she could stop him. He gently prodded her mouth with his spicy tongue demanding entry. She opened her mouth to protest, but that allowed him the access he was seeking. He tasted like wings, beer, and cigarettes. She moved her hands up to his chest trying to push him away without rejection. Slowly, he ended the kiss.

“Not right now, Spike. This is where I work. I don’t need any harassment about making out with you.”

“I’ll beat anyone up, my candied yam.” She choked at the new nickname. “Fine, just sit back and let me ‘old you.” Buffy settled back into his embrace as a waitress came up to the table.

“Can I get you anything, Miss Summers?” She asked nervously. Sam sent her over here five minutes ago, but they were making out and she didn’t want to disturb them.

“Yeah, thanks, Marci. Call me Liz or Lizzy. Everyone does. I’d like Corona Special. And, ummm…. We could probably use another strawberry daiquiri. Spike, do you want anything?” She looked over at Spike and batted her eyelashes.

“Another beer and tequila shot. Oh, how about some bourbon too?” The waitress nodded and walked away. Spike really didn’t want to get drunk, but the feel of Buffy next to him was making him horny. If he couldn’t alleviate that, he might be able to get so pissed that he didn’t know he was horny. Dawn came back from the bathroom with a smile on her face. She purposely waited to come back to let them have some alone time. She knew they had sex in the afternoon, even if they weren’t admitting it. Spike and Buffy were just too hands on with each other for that not to happen. Plus both of them yelled out in passion earlier. The waitress came back with their drink order. The club was starting to fill with patrons as the clocked neared 11:30. The younger set started to leave as the older set filed in for some fun. Spike was content to sit; drinking and holding Buffy close as they watched the crowd change. Two men have already come up and asked Dawn to dance. During that time, Spike would whisper dirty limericks in Buffy’s ear until she was laughing uncontrollably. When Dawn would come back, she would find tears in Buffy’s eyes and a wide smile on both their faces. Spike promised not to say embarrassing stuff in front of Dawn, but when she left the table, he could play.

After midnight, Spike quietly asked Buffy to dance. She complied and they headed out to the dance floor. The DJ changed the tune to a slow romantic song. Truth be told, neither could tell what the song was because they were lost in each others arms. Spike moved Buffy up close to his body and held her waist tightly. He swayed with her in his arms. She put her head on his shoulder breathing in his scent and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trying to get closer. Spike moved his head down to her ear. “Pet, do you think we could go for a walk and talk?”

Buffy raised her head. “Walk and talk huh?” He nodded. “I don’t want to leave Dawn here alone. Maybe after she is ready to go we can take a walk on the beach?” Spike nodded. He really did want to talk. He wanted to tell her that he loved her more than ever and he wanted to know how she felt.

After the song ended, Spike lead Buffy back to the table. He sat down scooting to let Buffy sit next to him. Buffy shook her head and told them someone just signaled for her to go into the back. She left the two to the table full of empty drinks, a slightly buzzed vampire, and one very tipsy woman. “Nibblet, you think that you want to go home soon?” Dawn looked questionably at him. “I want to go for a walk to clear our heads and talk, but Buffy won’t until we get home. Please, Bit? You’ve ‘ad your dances.” Spike never thought he would be begging to Dawn. She pretended to think about it and then nodded. She wanted to go home too. She had too much to drink and she knew it. Spike smiled, he was going to get his talk sooner than he thought. Now all they had to do was find Buffy. Another couple songs played and Spike started to get antsy, where was Buffy. Impatiently, he got up and walked over to the bar that Sam was stationed. “Hey, mate. Know where Buf… I mean… ‘Lizabeth is?” Spike caught himself.

“In the back, I think. Here let me show you.” Sam let Spike behind the bar and motioned to a door. They walked past the kitchen and up some stairs. Sam motioned for Spike to go into an office.

As he entered he noticed Buffy sitting at a desk on the phone. He suppressed a laugh when he noticed she was wearing small wire rimmed glasses. “Giles, I can’t understand you. What? What are you talking about? You are breaking up. Giles? Why don’t I call you tomorrow? Giles? Are you there?” Buffy hung up the phone. “Guess not. Hey there, Handsome. Come and find me?” Spike nodded. “Sorry. Got a phone call from Giles, but couldn’t understand him. Something about Traci, but I had no idea what he was talking about.”

“Awe, kitten. You can call him when you get home. Let’s go. Dawn’s ready.” He offered his arm and led her back down to the club.

Chapter 20: Another Talk

Dawn went directly to bed. She definitely drank too much. Spike walked out onto Buffy’s desk, breathing in the night air. The moon reflected on the ocean and played with the waves. Buffy came up behind him and wound her arms around his waist.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” He nodded. “I never appreciated how beautiful the night was when I was in Sunnydale. I hated the night, you know?” She stood beside him and took his hand.

“Yeah, kitten. I know.” They started to walk towards the beach. Their fingers were twined and they walked in silence for a couple minutes. “Buffy, I need to tell you something.”

Buffy stopped and looked at him. “What’s that?”

“Kitten, you know. I still love you, right?” She nodded. ‘Cor, I think I love you even more than I did before.” He held her close. “I don’t think I can walk away from this.” He brought his hand up to caress her shoulders and arm. “If you ever don’t want me around, you are going to have to stake me.” He brought her body closer as he dipped his head down to capture her lips. He nibbled on her lower lip as she sighed in comfort. He couldn’t let go of her again. The first time almost killed him. Then he thought she died and he was ready to let go, too. They stood there in the sand with waves nipping at their feet just taking comfort from each other. The kiss was passionate, but not sexual.

She slowed the kiss, trying to break it for a breath. He let her lips go, but held on to her. “Spike?” Spike purred in contentment. “Spike?” He nuzzled her face. “Spikey… come on. Are you here with me?” He grunted and shifted away letting her know she had his attention. ‘Spike… I care for you. I have for a while. I’ve told you that before. I even love you.” He smiled at her admission and moved to take her lips again, but she held him off. “Spike, I think I am falling in love with you again and I am scared.” He couldn’t believe it. She said she was falling in love with him again. “I couldn’t take it if you left me again.” He pulled her impossibly tight. If she was a normal girl, her ribs would have been broken.

“Not going anywhere, kitten. Going to have to stake me, you are.” He swooped down to take possession of her lips again. The fear Buffy held inside of the future flowed into him as they passionately kissed. He took all her fears and bad emotions from her lips and replaced them with hope and joy. He ground his erection into her stomach as they shared their emotions through their lips. His legs started to give way and he moved down her body to sit on the sand. “Cor, I want you so much.” He whispered as she straddled his lap.

“Spike… Can’t stop… Don’t want to stop… Want you, too, so much.” She whispered between kisses. He laid down with Buffy on top. She moved over him, kissing up his jaw. Her hands bunched the material of Spike’s shirt. “Oh god, Spike… Feel so good.”

He moved his hands around to the zipper of her dress. He brought the zipper down and moved his hands on to her revealed skin. “Cor, baby. Make me feel so good. Never let go, baby. I’ll never let go.”

They babble to each other, loving and possessive words as they touch and caress each other’s bodies. Spike senses something and looks around. He noticed a group of teenagers headed their way. It was too dark for the group to notice, but with his increased night vision he could see them. “Pet, baby… maybe we should… we should go back to your place. Someone is coming.” Spike didn’t realize he vamped out until he tasted Buffy’s blood. “Fuck! I’m sorry, baby. I cut you.” He really messed up and cut her while he kissed her. Now he wasn’t going to get any.

Buffy down at him. “Let’s go, Fang Face. Zip me up, will ya?” She moved off of him and displayed her back. He zipped her dress back up and took a chance and kissed her neck. She smiled and got up and offered her hand to help him. He took he offered hand and got up. They slowly walked down the shore line holding hands. Spike found it excruciating painful to walk. His pants felt like they were going to bust and add to his erection was the fact that he tasted her aphrodisiac blood. They finally arrived at her house and walked up to the deck.

“Kitten, I’m so sorry that I nicked you. I didn’t even realize I was vamped when I kissed you.” He took her hand in his and raised it to his heart.

“Spike, it’s OK, I’m fine. I knew you were in your Grrr face when you looked at those kids.” She moved to sit near the pool. She took off her shoes and let her feet dangle in the cool water. Spike sat behind her and massaged her shoulders.

“Shouldn’t have happened, my sexy kitten. I have more restraint than that.”

“Spike, it’s ok. Vampires bite while in the moment, don’t they?” She asked shyly.

“Yeah, pet. We do, but that wasn’t a passion bite. Plus, I have always been able to control it.” He squeezed her shoulders.

“Well then why did you go all grrr?” She moved to look back at him.

“Don’t know. Probably because my demon sensed someone coming into his territory.”

“Oh really, your demon? And the beach was your territory?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Yeah, well I was there and you were there and my demon thinks you are his territory.”

“Excuse me? I’m a territory?”

“Yeah, kitten. You said those three magical words that made you his territory. You know my demon loves you, don’t you?”

“No, I didn’t know. Why does he love me?” She smiled and nestled herself into his arms.

“Don’t know, pet. But ‘e told me ‘e loved you before I realized I did, too. ‘e never won against you, did ‘e?” She shook her head. “And my demon thinks you are ‘is mate, so ‘e is going to protect you will all that ‘e can.”

“His mate?” Buffy smiled.

“Yeah, pet. ‘is mate. You might have to watch it, he might want to come out and play during those seconds I am not in control of my body.”

“Play?” She giggled.

“Um, well. See I mean. Since ‘e sees you as ‘is mate, ‘e is going to want to claim you.”

“Claim me?”

“Yes, pet. Now stop interrupting. He wants to put his mark on you, it’s supposed to be a protection. If any other vamps see its mark, they know to stay away, that you belong to me.” She stiffened. “Not that you belong to anyone, but in my world. You would. That is, if my demon got the upper hand.”

“So, this claim thing. What does it entail?”

“Are you serious?”

“Well, if there is a chance that he is going to try to do it, I think I should know what it means and what happens.”

“OK, you got me there. During your sexual peak, ‘e would bite you and drink some of your blood.”

“You mean you would bite me,” she corrected him.

“Well, yeah, I guess I would be biting you.” He chuckled; she actually was acting like she wouldn’t mind it. “The bite isn’t nice or pretty. Actually it is kind of violent so it scars forever. See those scars from the Master, Angel, and Dracula aren’t permanent. They heal within time, a long time, but in time they will disappear. Actually I barely see Drac’s and the rest are just faint memories.” He nuzzled her neck where the bites reside. “If a vampire claimed another vampire, the each would claim the other one during their sexual peak.”

“So what happens after it?”

“Not much, it’s like marriage in vampire terms. There is more of an awareness of the other one. Some say that you are linked telepathically, but I don’t believe that.”

“Did you ever claim Drusilla?” She felt a tremor run through Spike.

“I did, once. She didn’t reciprocate and then made Angel take it away.”

“I’m sorry, Spike.”

“No problem, pet. But that’s what a claiming is.” She held on to her body afraid she would leave. They sat there, next to the cool water, holding each other thinking about the past events.

“Mmm, this is nice.”

“Yes it is kitten.” He smiled into her hair.

“You know what would make it better?” He shrugged thinking of a couple possibilities. “A short dip in the pool.” She scooted away and indicated for him to unzip her silky dress. She divested herself of her dress and turned back to look at Spike. He was watching her warily. She was clad only in a green silk thong. She scooted further near the pool. “Coming?”

“Nah, I’ll watch you, kitten.” His eyes held passion and lust as he watched her slide her body into the cool liquid. Her breasts her bobbing up and down as she slowly made her way the middle of the pool.

“Come on it, Spike. The water is fine.” She teased. At his negative response, Buffy decided to up the anti. Slowly she took off the wisp of silk that she used as underwear and threw it to Spike.

“That’s it, pet. Now you gone and done it.” He stood up and ripped his shirt off. He quickly tugged on his belt and jeans, divesting himself of the restraints. Quickly he stood up and jumped into the pool… and sank to the bottom. He couldn’t swim. His body carried no air so he couldn’t float. Buffy panicked and dove down to find him and coax him into a shallower depth. She tugged on his arm and he opened his eyes. Got her just where he wanted her. He pulled her close and nuzzled her face before he pushed his feet against the floor to propel them up. “Pet, maybe we should go someplace more shallow.” Buffy nodded and they made their way to the 5 foot deep part. “There we go.” Spike stood up with his head and shoulders out of the water. Buffy still couldn’t find purchase with her feet and had to tread water. “Come ‘ere, kitten. Let me take care of you”

She swam up next to him and grabbed onto his shoulders. He held her watching the moonlight dance over her features. “Don’t ever do that to me. You scared me.”

“Do what, my lushish kitten?” He moved his hand down to cup her ass.
“I was afraid. You looked like you couldn’t swim.” He started to squeeze her cheeks and massage them, carefully moving his fingers closer to her core.

“Don’t need to breath. I knew you would come down for me.” She swatted his chest as his fingers found her asshole. Her breath hitched as he gently caressed her tight opening. “Remember when we used to? You used to love it when you were on top and my dick was in your hot quim and my fingers were in your ass. Working both ways. Remember?”

“Oh, Spike. Yeah, I remember. But I haven’t, I mean. It’s been so long and I am not sure if I can take it, anymore.”

“Shh, kitten. We will take it slow, baby. Just a little stretching right now, ok? Wrap your legs around me, baby.” She did as he asked. “Yeah baby, hold on to my shoulders. Going to make you feel so good. Just a little stretching, OK?” She nodded. He moved one of his hands around to her front and down to her pussy. Slowly he inserted his fingers into her hot core. She bucked and the sensation of Spike’s hands on her. He moved his other fingers around her ass gently probing with a finger. Carefully he inserted the tip of his index finger into her tightest opening. Slowly he pumped both fingers in and out of her openings. “Cor, beautiful. Come for me, kitten. Come for me Buffy.”

Buffy was bobbing up and down with pleasure as he pumped into her. She buried her head into his shoulder as her orgasm hit, biting down on his neck breaking his skin. “Mmm, nice. How about you?”

Spike shrugged. “I was hoping that we would make it inside and into your bed for that, pet.” His erection was hard, painfully hard as he watched his Buffy come on his hands. She still had the naughty inhibitions from before. Candles, cuffs, and anal sex. Too bad Dawn was in the next room. They would have to be quiet. They made their way out of the pool and haphazardly dressed to make it up to her room.

Chapter 21: Sex

Spike pushed Buffy down onto the floor when the entered her room. He loomed in front of her, waiting for her to catch onto the game. She remembered and smiled wickedly. Spike always liked this game. She bowed her head down submissively. He grabbed her hair and brought her head up to his crotch, slowly unzipping his jeans and bringing out his hard long shaft. She licked her lips and carefully brought him into her mouth. The rules to the game: she couldn’t use her hands and she was to do what he wanted until it was time to get punished. She moved up and down his shaft, licking it as she went. She found a bulging vein at the bottom of his cock and ran her teeth on it, eliciting a deep growl from him. He gritted his teeth willing his desire to go down. She was supposed to be bad, soon. So he could punish her. Slowly, she moved her hands up to rub his balls. That’s it. She wasn’t supposed to use her hands; it was an unspoken rule. He gently pushed her head away and picked her up. He took off her dress and threw it against the wall. He pushed her onto the bed and straddled her legs. “Oh, pet. You used your ‘ands. Know what that means?” He had a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Turn over, luv.” She did as he told.

“Please, master Spike, I’m sorry I won’t do it again.” His hand came down on her ass, smacking it. “Shh, Dawn will hear.” Buffy dug her hands into her bed, grabbing on to the cool sheets as he played with her ass.

“What was that? You back talking to me? Get on your knees.” She dutifully got on her knees, waving her ass near him. He took his erection and pressed it into her hot core. Spike always like taking Buffy doggie style. He always hit her special spot and her muscles clamped extra hard on him in this position. He grabbed her ass and squeezed as he inched his way into her core. “Oh, God. Pet. So hot.” He babbled.

“Oh, master. Make me feel so good. Harder, please.” Spike never was one to displease Buffy during sex and complied. He roughly grabbed her hips, playtime was over. He started to ram into to her fiercely. His balls would smack her clit every time he would bury himself fully. She pushed back just a little to drive him deeper. He bended over her to caress her breasts as the bounced from his impact behind her. He started to feel her muscles quiver and he speed up. This was his heaven. “Come for me, Buffy. That’s it, pet. Going make you purr all night long. My hard dick in your quim and your tits bouncing as I fuck you until you can’t walk. Oh yeah, baby.” He loved to talk dirty to her as she came. Seemed to make her come harder. Her muscles exploded around his cock, milking him. He reached around her waist to hold her in the same position as her body gave way to her pleasure. He slowed down until her muscles stopped contracting. “Oh not done, pet.” He moved slightly, angling differently and started to move again within her. This time he took it slow and made sure he hit her special spot. She gasped as he hit it once, twice, thrice. No, four times before she headed over the edge again, this time taking him with her. He allowed her to collapse on the bed as he lay on top of her, trying to get enough energy to roll off of her.

“Wow… that was… wow.” Buffy muttered. Spike was still inside her, hardening again. She wiggled, teasing him as he was still flying high. Buffy pushed her back up to roll his heavy frame away. He grunted and rolled to the right. She scooted over to put her head on his shoulder and wrap her arm around his waist. He grunted again as she pressed herself into his side. “I forgot… I mean I remember… but that was wow.”

“Got the job done, yourself there, kitten.” Spike whispered. She said almost the exact same words to him once after a marathon sex session. “Your legs work, pet?” She nodded. “Then get your sweet ass over here. I want to watch you come on top of me.” She dutifully complied and straddled his waist. She bent over his frame and started to kiss his neck. Spike growled warning her to get on with it, but she ignored it. Buffy nibbled on his ear, licking the sensitive skin. He brought his hands up to caress her breasts as she gently rocked her core near his hardening dick. She made her way licking and kissing around his face. She paid attention to his eyes, nuzzling the soft skin under each eye and kissing each. She moved her mouth around his nose kissing the tip of it. She stayed away from his mouth, knowing that is what Spike wanted. She moved to the other side of his head, nuzzling his ear. He moved his face so he could kiss her cheek, trying to get to her mouth.

She sat up when he almost succeeded in capturing her mouth. “Nut uh, Mr. Big Bad Vampire. It’s my turn to play.” She waved a finger near his mouth.

“Oh baby, play all you want, just kiss me.”

“I thought that is what I was doing.” She slid back and clenched her outer muscles near his straining cock.

“Kitten, please… kiss me… not my ear, nose, eyes, throat. Kiss ME!”

“Shh, or Dawn will hear. If she hears us this will be the last time.” His eyes flashed yellow as he pulled her down to him. There was no way she was going to threaten that and get away with it. She struggled, but was pinned to his body with his arms wrapped around her torso.

“Don’t ever joke ‘bout that, luv. I told you I’m not letting go. I love you now, more than ever,” he whispered in her hair. She stopped struggling to free herself and started to feel guilty. “Now kiss me before I am going to explode!”

Buffy moved her head to capture his bottom lip; she ran her tongue around it. Her teeth nipped it as his arms let go of their prize. She moved to deep her kiss, this time including his whole mouth. He moaned as her tongue entered his mouth, massaging his tongue. She moved her hands up to neck, playing with the soft curls of his hair. His tongue moved into her mouth, exploring all that was Buffy. She found the place where his fangs hid and she gently prodded the soft flesh. “Fuck, Buffy. Don’t do that!” Spike pulled away as she sat up rejected.

“I’m sorry. What did I do? I thought that was a sensitive spot. Did I hurt you?”

“Cor, baby, come ‘ere.” He tried to pull her back on top of him; she evaded his grasp and sat quietly next to him.

“I didn’t mean. If I knew. I’m sorry.” She brought her knees up to her chin and banded her arms around them. She looked so young and innocent when she did that.

“Kitten, please. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please, luv, come ‘here.” She moved to rest her head on his chest, looking up at him. “Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just. Well, remember when we were talking about my demon loving you?” She nodded. “Well, baby, that’s the fastest way to get him to come out. I’m afraid I’ll slice you and then after I taste you, I’m afraid that I won’t be in control. Who knows what he will do.”

Buffy nodded in understanding. He was afraid that his demon may not love her as much as he thinks. “But I’d be able to stop you, if he was taking too much, right?”
“Cor, luv. He won’t take too much, trust me. He won’t kill his mate, but he would mate with you and I am not so sure it would be very pleasant for you.”

“What do you mean?” She brought her fingers up to trace the curves of his face.

“Pet, he may not hold back. I mean with the claiming bit. He’s get a little wild. And I don’t want that. If I am in a little control, I can make sure it isn’t too bad.”

“Are you holding out on me?” She whispered.

“No, luv. But the demon feels things differently what he considers pleasure may not be.” She still didn’t understand. “Like take for instance. You like when I play with your ass, right?” She nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, me too. But see I make sure you are all lubed and stretch, he might not consider that and well… it could hurt pretty badly.”

“I see. So if you have some control you could remind him.” He nodded. “So why would you loose control if I touched your there?” she moved her body closer to his as they share this intimate moment.

“Because that is like your g-spot. Remember I could get you to agree to anything when I hit it?” She nodded remembering the chains and vibrator. “Well, you would agree to anything, just to keep it? The demon would stomp me down because I would be in such a state. See, pet? I need to me in control, at least a little.” He rubbed her back as she settled her length against his.

“I understand, Spike. I’ll try to remember. But you know. The demon, when he comes out to play. It will be OK. We will be OK. Spike, I love you. All of you. The man, the monster. Everything.”

“Ahh, kitten. You don’t know what that means to me to hear you say that.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “So, kitten, what was this ‘bout your belly ring and you purring?” She giggled as he switched their positions resulting with her underneath him. He reached down to flick her ring and she gasped with lust. He rolled the ring between his fingers, tugging on it slightly. Within a few minutes of his ministrations he indeed made Buffy purr.

Chapter 22: Sweet Bliss

Spike was watching Buffy sleep. She was magnificent. Last night was amazing. He never thought that they would ever have something so deep, so awesome, and so right. He let her sleep ever couple hours before he would wake her up with his head in between her legs. She kept up with him, matching his passion each time. She let him make love to her a couple times, slow and sweet. He let her have the upper hand and watched her bounce and come on top of him. She was magnificent. He was made for loving her. His demon even kept himself at bay as she pleasured him in all imaginable ways.

Buffy started to stir. Her thighs were sore. That hasn’t happened in a long time. Then she remembered Spike and the things they did. Upside down, backwards, upright, 69, front wards. He was always very imaginative when it came to sex. She groaned and buried her head as she remembered he kept her up almost all night making love to her. Each time was different. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Sometimes hard bringing an earth shattering orgasm, other times it was a soft building of an orgasm, both bringing her to tears.

He shifted, knowing she was awake but keeping her eyes closed. He brought his hand up to her stomach and laid it about her belly button. “’ere kitty, kitty. I know you are awake, kitty.” He petted her stomach, rubbing the palm of his hand across her belly ring on the down sweep.

Buffy knew it was no use pretending she was asleep, he knew better. She stretched her arms and legs out, stretching her sore muscles. “Mmm, morning.” She purred.

“Morning, luv. How did you sleep, my kitten of mine?” He reached over to bring her body close to his.

She cuddled closer to his hard body. “Sleep? What’s that? Because I don’t remember.”

“Shh, pet. Dawns up. And I know you don’t want her to come in ‘ere.” Buffy looked up at Spike.

“What time is it?”

“’Bout ten.” He let his hands drift around her body, eliciting tiny moans from her mouth.

“Hmmm, too early…sleep more.” She cuddled deeper into his arms, trying to ignore his roaming hands.

“Sleep? Is that what you want to do?”

“Yeah, sleepy. Someone kept me up late last night.”

“So you are saying that you didn’t enjoy staying up all night, because I know a certain part of me certainly didn’t mind staying up all night. And look at the devil, he’s up again.” He ground his erection against her thigh.

“Oh, no you don’t mister. I deserve some sleep or I won’t be any good to you.”

“So you don’t like waking up like this?” He mock pouted.

“Mmmm, I love waking up to this. In fact I wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning.” He turned her body around so she would face him.

“Kitten,” he kissed the top of her nose. “I think I can arrange that.” Spike swooped down to capture her lips in another mind blowing kiss. Suddenly, the phone rang. “Ignore it, pet,” he said between kisses. “I can arrange it forever, sweets.” Buffy and Spike were lost in their world, not hearing Dawn pick up the phone.

“Forever?” Buffy pulled away. “You aren’t thinking…?”

“Nah, pet. Only if you wanted to. But I can make it as forever as we can. ‘ow does that sound?”

“Perfect…” Lost in another kiss.

KNOCK KNOCK “Buffy, umm, sorry, but it is Giles… he’s pretty upset.”

“K, Dawn. I’ll get it in here… SHIT, just when we were getting to the good part.” Spike chuckled as Buffy struggled to sit up and grab the phone.

“Hey Giles. Sorry I didn’t get back… Oh, I’m sorry to hear… that’s just awful… no, I understand… of course… I see… yes, I can see your point… no… of course not… I have a couple things I need… no, won’t take long… yes, see you soon… again, sorry about…” CLICK.

“What was that, pet?” Spike asked curiously. The conversation went sour very quickly.

“Traci…” She mumbled.

“What about her?” Spike tried to pull her back into his embrace, but she just sat ridged.

“She died last night.” Buffy got up to get dressed.

“Oh, so that means?” Spike got up and put his jeans on.

“It means the hell mouth is without a slayer.”

“The Scooby’s can take care of that.” Spike started to get upset as Buffy left the room to go downstairs. He followed.

“Spike, they have lives of their own. Families.” Buffy said as she entered the kitchen. The sun hadn’t risen too far so the back rooms were safe for Spike to enter.

“Like you don’t have a life? What ‘bout what we were saying upstairs before the watcher called?”

“Spike, I can’t rely on someone else to do my job for me.”

“Hey guys, what was up with Giles?” Dawn walked into the house. She was lounging on the deck.

“The slayer died, Nibblet and your sister thinks that it’s her fault.”

“I do not!” Buffy exclaimed. “This isn’t happening. I’m sorry Spike, but as much as I hate to admit it, it’s my responsibility to protect the hell mouth from the nasties.”

“So what does that mean? Nothing we said means anything other than boo?” Spike stalked over to Buffy, standing only six inches from her.

“Spike, that’s not what I meant! I want forever. I do.”

“Then what do you mean then, slayer?” He lifted his eyebrow. She claimed since she wasn’t the only slayer she couldn’t be called it. Now she was the only slayer.

“I mean I have to go back to that hell hole again! That’s what I mean!” She started to sob as the reality hit her. “I… have… to… give… up… my… my… life… here.”

“Shhh, kitten. It’ll be all right. We’ll go back. Train the new bit and you’ll come back. It’ll be OK.” He soothed her back and held her tight against him.

“You really mean it?” Buffy looked up at him.

“Of course, baby. I meant it; you can’t get rid of me. I’m yours.” He let her change positions as she brought her hands around his neck and nuzzled his neck.

“That sounds nice…. Yours… forever…” The two embraced holding on to each other as Dawn rolled her eyes and walked upstairs to pack.

They were headed back to Sunnydale. Together. Forever.

The End

A/n: This was my first ever fanfiction, so please be kind with the word choices & style. Other than that, feed back is appreciated.