The Longest Love by 1MindlessAutomaton

The First Wrong Turn

William Sandler, otherwise known as Spike, had it all. At 27 he was living the dream. Hell, he was more famous than Tom Cruz and Brad Pitt (who he was friends with). He could make a never ending list of what he had, and yet, he always felt something was missing. A sort of empty space inside of him.

So, he gave up on life. Now, he didn't want to kill himself, he just didn't care what happened.

Spike was also a very handsome man. He had a body that would make Adonis himself, mad with envy.

He was a great athlete. Football, or soccer, was his art. He got in with some bad people though and his art had been ruined.

*****************************************************************************

"Blondiebeaaaaar!", an annoying sound of a voice yelled. A bleached blonde tall woman entered Spike's grand bedroom. *Shit, she's back*, thought Spike.

"Wha'?" Spike replied to his girlfriend, still watching a replay of his game he lost that day on his huge flatscreen TV while drinking beer. He was probably at his tenth beer of the night.

"My God! You have got to be kidding me. God, look at you! I told you at 8 we were having a party at 9 tonight. Now it's..." she paused and looked at the watch on her wrist. Still paused. *Bloody Hell, is she actually counting?* Spike said to himself.

His idea was confirmed whan he heard mumblings, " that's 9 so...41...I think it's 42...". *This chit is unbelieveable. Why didn't she get a digital watch. Why do I put up with her? She can't even bloody tell the time. Oh yeah, cause I'm a lazy sod.* He was brought out of his thinking when he heard an "Aha!" and rolled his eyes.

"Aha! It's...wait, what was it again? Oh yeah, 10:42. Wait! Now it's 43 not 42! You get you ass out there right now mister!"

"I don't fuckin' care about the party. Now sod off, I'm trying to watch!", he indicated the TV.

"Oh no you don't! I worked too hard for you to ruin this party today! I went to get my nails done, my hair done, I got a facial, I got a wax, I had to taste the food… ", she went on rambling on while he decided to ignore her. Though he couldn't ignore her once the TV had been turned off.

"What the fuck?! I was watchin that!" Spike narrowed his eyes at her as she began her speach again in a louder voice. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

''Harmony...",he said in a sing-song way,"I have a present for you". Wow, that shut her up.

"Really? You got me something Blondiebear? Where is it? Oh, I'm so excited!", she asked.

"It's in the...closet. Come on, you want right?", she nodded in excitement.

He led her to the closet. She gave him a questioning look. He pointed deeper inside. Once she was all the way inside the closet he closed the door and locked if from the outside. *Ha! Stupid chit*, he smirked.

"SPIKE!!! Let me out! This isn't funny!"

*Hmm*, Spike thought, *what to do now? I know, a little joy riding.*

"Harm, I think I'm gonna go for a little ride in your new car".

************************************************************************************

"Woohooooo!!!" Spike screamed out the window while throwing out an empty beer can. He had taken Harmony's car. He figured, if he was going out, why waste his gas?

(Back at the closet)
"HELP!!!'' Harmony screamed. Then, the door opened, it was just one of the many female guests.

"What happened?"

"The stupid drunk basterd locked me in the closet and left me to die!", she sobbed out,"I'll teach him! That jerk is gonna pay!"

"What are you going to do?"

Harmony picked up the phone and dialed 911.

"Hello...yes...my boyfriend stole my car..."

*********************************************************************************

Spike was going at least 50 MPH when he heard sirens.

"And here comes the party poopers...", he said under his breath. He slowed down and pulled to the right. Two officers came out of the police car.

"Well, well, well", the first officer began,"I'll be damned, if it isn't William Sandler."

"What I do, was I driving to slow for you blokes?"

"No actually, the car was reported stolen".

"I didn't steal it. It's my girlfriend's".

"Shit happens," the second officer spoke for the first time said nastily.

"Yeah, it really does. You should know dumbo". The first officer started laughing but stopped as soon as he saw the murderous stare the other gave him.

"I'd hate to arrest such a role model so if I can please see your license and registration please", the second officer said smugly.

“Hey, have many radio stations can you get?”, the first officer couldn’t help but giggle.

“I’ll ask you one more time Mr. Sandler—“

"Yeah, yeah," Spike said unimpressed, "just a minute. Could you hold this please?" He handed the officer a beer can,"You can have that one, I have 5 more. Take care guys". Before the officers could do anything, Spike had already sped off.

One of the officers said something in his walky talky thingy.

**************************************************************************

Spike was going at least 95 when he heard sirens. Then suddenly everything went black for a couple of seconds.

He got out of the wrecked car and saw that there was police cars surrounding it. There was also a guy with a camera infront of him. He waved a gave the camera a pose and a grin before speaking to the guy.

"Ey! Waz up mate?," he slurred, "Check this ow," he lifted up the beer can that was still in his hand, "I dint' spill it!"

***************************************************************************

Note: Again, this is my first fic. Please be kind.

Ch. 2: Inmate 17

(2 weeks after the accident)

“Get your ass off the bus!”, yelled one of the prison guards who had a army haircut as he kicked Spike off the last step. “I said move!”

After Spike’s little accident, he spent about 3 days in the hospital. He went all trial for charges of a DUI, and stealing a car. Both, he pleaded guilty.

Now, here he was. Sunnydale Prison. *More like Sunnyhell *, Spike thought. Gone was his grand bedroom and precious telly. How was he going to watch Passions?

He looked around. The weather was hot. There was nothing green in sight, and he thought he was literally in hell.*Well, more like the desert part of hell.* Also, he was getting impatient with the guards.

“Wankers”, Spike muttered. He started walking a little more slowly.

“Move it, Bleach Boy!”, barked another guard who grabbed him roughly by the arm. This one was tanned, and really gaunt. ”Finn! Come ‘ere, you take ’im to the warden!”

“Fine Jesse. I have to do everything. We still going for beers later?”

“Yup. Do you think Summers will come with us this time?”

“I hope so.”

The army-haircut-guard that kicked him came over to Spike. He noticed that Finn was staring at him.*Is that psycho bastard is trying to perv on me?*

“What the bloody ‘ell are you staring at? Bring me to the damn
war—“, he was cut of when Finn kneed him in the gut.

“Your not in any position to be talkin’ to me that way, “Inmate”. Just because your Mr. Famous in the outside world, that doesn’t mean shit here. Here I’m Mr. Famous. Here, I’m Captain of the Sunnydale Prison Guard Soccer Team”, Finn then punched Spike right where he just kneed him.*What the bleeding hell is his problem? What’s he got against me? Probably one of those jealous poofs…*

“What the fuck did you do that for”, Spike exclaimed hunched over. When he looked back up at the Captain Cardboard waiting for an answer he saw that the guard was staring over his shoulder, practically drooling. Spike turned around and what he saw had his head spinning.

There, was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had long honey-blonde hair that was in a high ponytail. Spike thought if she let it down her hair, it would at least reach the middle of her back. She was wearing hip-hugger jeans and a tight light-green tank top.

She had amazing green-hazel eyes that he could spend a eternity looking at. She had a body that was just…perfect.*Perfect*, Spike thought. It was weird. Spike didn't know it but the angel was thinking the same about him.*Perfect*.Then she started speaking and Spike thought he could never tire of hearing this angel’s voice.

“Hey, heard some trouble over here. Was just about to head home. Is that— oh my God! William Sandler! Wow, never thought I’d meet ‘em”, the angel said.* She’s heard of me! This angel ‘as heard of me*, Spike inner William shouted in his head, but instead it was good ‘ol arrogant Spike that came out.

“Heard of me, have you pet?”, Spike smirked.

Before she could respond, the ponce interrupted.

“H-hey Buffy,” Riley stuttered. *Buffy, that’s an odd name.*

“Hi Riley, watcha doing?”, she said, still looking at Spike.

“Uh…just taking the new inmate here (he pointed to Spike) to the warden.”

“Oh okay. I’m heading out now, shift has been over for a while—“

“Do you wanna go out tonight?” Riley blurted out. Spike whpped his head up to look at her answer, trying to keep control of his jealousy.* Oh God, please let her say no. Couldn’t stand it if she went out with this wanker. My God, I have the worst luck in the world. I meet the most beautiful girl in the whole soddin’ planet and I’m in jail. Just perfect. If only thinks were different…*

“No thanks Riley. Maybe some other time. I’ve got a lot of errands to do at home.” *Yes!!! HA! You got rejected! * Spike thought, while smirking at Riley who didn’t notice.

“Okay, well, see you tomorrow.”

At that, Buffy turned and walked away.

“Who’s that?” Spike asked Riley.

“My future wife,” Riley replied smugly.”Actually, she’s one of the many guards here at this fine prison. The best looking one too. Now get moving. We’re already a few minutes late and I need to get laid.”

*Bloody asshole. Probably all he thinks about is getting laid.* Spike thought as he was dragged to the wardens office.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Ahh, Mr. Sandler, so nice to finally meet you. I’m Warden Ethan Rayne. You can just call me Mr. Rayne,” the warden introduced himself.

Something was off about him, and Spike made a metal note to listen carefully everything the warden said.

“Uhh…nice to meet you too…Sir”.

“I have a favor to ask you, Mr. Sandler, you being a pro soccer player and all. Would you agree to it?”

“Depends on what it is,” Spike said truthfully.

“I’ve got a soccer team here of my own I’m sure you’ve heard of…” Spike glanced at Riley who gave him a sloppy grin, “ and I’m not sure they’re ready to face the first game this year. What can you do about it?”

“Set up a practice game against a crap-ass team. That’s what my coach in high-school did. Boosted up the confidence. It’s bloody fun too.”

“Great idea. I want you to do it.”

“What?!”

“I said I want you to do it. Set up a team of inmates or something,” the warden said expressionless.

“I’m honored, but no thanks. All I want, is to do my time, and get out. You can set up a crack team yourself because I’m not going to do it.”

Just then the warden yanked Spike’s head to the side roughly a for the second time that day he got kneed.

“I don’t think you understand, Inmate 17. I wasn’t asking you. Pay attention, cause I’m only saying this once. You time here could be easy…” the warden called Riley over to hold Spike still has he socked him in the face,”…or it…(punch)..can be hard.”

Riley roughly let go of Spike and since he could use his cuffed hands, he fell on the floor.

*Won’t I be having a fun fucking time. * Spike thought sarcastically.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Whew! There’s the second chapter. I know I’m not the best writer, but please be kind.

Ch. 3 Tree-outs

It had been a couple of hours and Spike was settled into one of the cells. Now it was lunch time and Spike was still thinking about the blonde angel he had seen earlier.

He was now waiting in line holding out a tray waiting for this short bald troll named Snyder to pour him his grub.

“Nothing but the best for you!”, Snyder snickered. Spike gave him a ‘don’t fuck with me’ look and Snyder suddenly stopped laughing. “Only kidding”, Snyder trembled.

Spike sighed. He was looking for somewhere to sit. He found an empty seat but the neighbor wasn’t exactly friendly. He was still walking around taking the glares from the rest of the inmates that said ‘don’t you dare sit here’. *Bugger* he thought.

“Hey Bleach Boy! Have a seat.” Said a guy behind him. He wasn’t judging or asking any other questions so Spike decided it was better than nothing.

“Thanks mate, appreciate it” Spike thanked.

“Never”, the guy began, “never, in my entire time here met someone unanimously hated by such a large amount of population in this…sublime…hellhole”, He smirked. “Names Charles Gunn, but my they call me Caretaker. You need anything, smokes…etc. You come to me I got the hook-ups. And for a small fee, I can even get you McDonalds.”

“How ‘bout the warmth and beauty of a woman,” Spike said, thinking of the Angel from earlier.

“Well, your gonna have to lower your standards on the beauty part…and the woman part,” Caretaker said, pointing to the table where all the homosexual inmates appeared to have come together. One of them noticed him looking and blew him a kiss. Spike shuddered.

“Bloody ‘ell.” Spike still looked grossed out. The gay inmates had done some thing to their uniforms to make them more revealing, not only that, but they were also wearing makeup.

“You say that now, but in 8 months, the she-he is gonna look like that hot chick from that Vampire show,” Caretaker chuckled.

“ ‘K then, um… how about bleach for my hair?”

“ Hmm… I’ll see what I can do. Listen man, I don’t know about you, but you need to stand up for yourself around ‘ere or your gonna end up as someone’s bitch. If someone gives you trouble you gotta, hit ‘em or something.” Caretaker said, making a punching motion in the air.

“ Thanks mate, I’ll keep that in mind. So…do you like soccer?” Spike said leaning over the table.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Next Day)

“ Soo-ker Tr-r-ree-outs. What the hell is a Tree-out?” said Anthony. He was about 5 foot 8 inches and 290-300 lbs.

“ It’s Try-out, dumbass,” said Caretaker. “Sandler starting a soccer team.”

“Well, who we gonna play?” said, Jonathan.

Caretaker grinned, “The Guards” and then everyone that could hear groaned. “Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I think I like this perfect opportunity to crush one of are correctional officers. This could be our chance to show them what we’re made of.”

“ Yeah!” Jonathan yelled, but he blushed from embarrassed when no one else was supporting him.

Out of nowhere, a big, hulky, dark, broody guy came from behind the crowd of people in front of the Try-out sign. He looked around at the men gathered there and then to the sign. He tore it from the bulletin board and crumpled it.

“ The man sold out his own teammates. Whadaya think he’s going to do to you fools.” He then, threw the paper on the ground and walked away.

“HEY!” Caretaker cried, “ I worked hard on that sign Angel! Asshole!” Angel turned around and stood looming over Caretaker. “ Uhh…team needs you, y-y-ou come to t-t-he T-t-tree-outs,” he stuttered. Than turned and ran.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“These are all the guys that came?” Spike said, pointing to about 12 guys. All of which were not really in good shape.

“Yup”, Caretaker nodded.

“Bloody fantastic. Let’s call ‘em over here.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After the rules were put down, the testing began.

“We’ll grade them on a one to ten scale.” Spike explained to Caretaker.” Let’s start with running.

Spike and Caretaker were stand at the finish line of the half a mile mark when some guys passed them.

“Give these guys 6,” Spike said pointing to two guys, “ These 4’s, this guy 3, and… are we missing someone? Where’s Anthony?” He look around and found Tony about 20 yards from the starting line. “ How about…negative 3?”

“ You *cough * assholes better *wheeze * not cut me!! Someone get me a diet coke!” Tony coughed and wheezed out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Okay,” Spike started, “this is what your going to do. I set a row of cones about 3 and a half feet apart. You have to take the ball, using only your feet, remember FEET ONLY, and move zig-zag in between the cones. Try not to knock over or touch any of the cones. Got it? If you don’t it’s okay, cause ‘m gonna demonstrate right now.”

“I’m ready!” Jonathan screamed as Spike finished the demonstration. He started off fine but on the fourth cone he accidentally kicked it a good 2 feet away and lost it. “ Stupid cone!” He kicked it again, on purpose, “ You think your better than me! I kill you!” He grabbed the cone a threw it.

Spike stared, wide-eyed at the little scene. “ Uh…2--,” Started Spike but was interrupted by a grunt from Jonathan. “…and a half?”

“Yeah!” Jonathan exclaimed, with a look of triumph on his face.” I’m the master!” and then started to hum the Star War’s theme song.

“ Okay… that was, weird,” commented Caretaker.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was the end of the “Tree-outs” and Spike was exhausted. *We’re screwed*, he tought.

“Hey,” they turned around to find an old man around 48 calling them. “ I hear your starting a football team.” The old man said in a upper class English accent. “I’m Rupert Giles, I can help you.”

“Seriously? You ‘Ripper’?” Spike turned to look at Caretaker who just shrugged.

“ Yes. But right now I have no time for a proper conversation, I’ll meet you here tomorrow at exactly one in the afternoon.” And with that he turned around and walked away.

Spike attention was still on ‘Ripper’ when Caretaker poked his shoulder.

“Spike, I’m gonna head in alright?”

Spike nodded, as soon as he was gone, Spike sat down on the ground. Hey felt someone watching him and turned around to find the golden angel that was haunting his dreams last night.

AN: He he he…I’m so bad! Please review, it makes me happy!