Buffy Summers felt the stream of sunlight upon her face. She slowly opened her eyes and observed the new morning around her.

She glanced at the picture of her and Angel at the Valentine’s dance holding each other close and a smile creaped upon her face. She turned around to pull back the tan curtains, and the rays poured into the room, lighting everything in its small path.

Buffy slipped on her light jacket and pulled the zipper up to her chest. She quietly closed her bedroom door, trying not to disturb her sleeping mother, Joyce, and walked across the hall into the bathroom.

She splashed water on her face and pulled back her hair into a loose ponytail, running her fingers through it to get the tangles out.

When she was done, she brushed her teeth and then went back into her room and pulled on a pair of blue jeans and a simple light pink t-shirt.

She smiled goofily at her picture once more as she placed a kiss on Angel’s smiling face. She replaced the picture and bounced down the stairs to start arousing the smells breakfast.

Buffy felt her life was perfect. She was in a deep and loving relationship that had so far lasted for eight months with Angel, and she had the perfect friends to fit her. She could think of nothing that needed improvement in her young life, yet she couldn’t help but feel a void as she thought of it.

She didn’t know what was wrong at first, and she ignored the feeling, but then it started to surround her more each day.

Then she came upon the thought that it might be Angel.

This thought had at first slowly crept into her mind when her best friend Spike had admitted his feelings for her a few months before. He told her simply and didn’t make a big issue of it, but it hit Buffy like a ton of bricks.

She shouldn’t have been surprised, however, because the two were inseperable ever since they first met as kids. Spike and Buffy spent all of their time together, and even their families were close. But when Spike first told Buffy, she still couldn’t help but be shocked.

From then on, everything with Spike felt akward to Buffy. She was suddenly careful when she touched him, what she said to him, and even how she looked at him.

She knew he could tell how she felt when Spike gave her sympathetic smiles when Buffy shyed away. He was sweet and understanding about how their relationship now felt strange to her.

Even their couple friends Xander and Willow noticed that she had started to act differently. They had known how Spike felt, but they were too excited for Buffy’s new happiness to give her the news so soon.

Buffy then spent some restless nights wondering if she was with the right person. How would her life be different if she had found out about Spike’s feelings before she had become involved with Angel?

She looked back at the time when her and Angel first started dating. She realized now how blind she was back then to how much in love with her Spike really was.

She was too involved with just the thought of being with Angel, that she didn’t even realize that her best friend in the world was missing her, and she was breaking his heart by looking at others. Now the second thoughts of her relationship with Angel were more constant.

She was so undescribibly happy with him and in love with him, but she couldn’t help but wonder, especially when she felt the hole in her life that was yet to be filled. She had even started to find excuses to get out of going on some dates with Angel, just so she wouldn’t have to spend the whole night wondering what she was missing.

If only Spike had been more open with his feelings eight months ago, Buffy wouldn’t have a void in her life.

She wouldn’t find herself second guessing her relationship, and she wouldn’t have to feel strange around the only person in the world that she felt most comfortable with.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Angel pulled in front of her house on Revello Drive. He watched her with lust as she innocently put her bag in the backseat as the sun reflected blindly off her hair.

She opened the door on the sleek convertible and sat down. She brightly smiled at him, and he pulled her into a long and intense kiss. He finally pulled back, although it wasn’t willingly.

“You look beautiful,” he said as Buffy gasped for air. Angel had always been one to be playful in the early morning. That was one thing that bothered her. The mornings were her time to think and gather her thoughts for the day, and they were always interrupted by Angel running his free hand on her leg.

She had started to resort to staring in space with her back turned to Angel, and she hoped he had started picking up on the hints that she dropped almost every morning.

Buffy returned her thoughts to the present day and half-heartedly smiled at his compliment. Her heart gave a sudden jerk. She had felt it again without wanting to. That space that should be filled, but was left the same by Angel’s repetitive greetings. Buffy shook the thought from her mind and pulled the seatbelt around her.

She brushed a blonde curl back from her face and gave a full smile to Angel.“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Angel laughed and pulled out from the curb as he put his hand on Buffy’s thigh. He slowly started to bring it closer to her but was stopped by Buffy turning her body to the door and stared at the passing houses. A

ngel finally took the hint for now and continued to drive in silence. Buffy sighed quietly and tried to prepare herself for another day of facing Spike and the battlefield they called Sunnydale High School.

Buffy quickly closed her thoughts as to what was missing in her perfect relationship with Angel as they pulled into the student parking lot beside the school. She opened the door of the car and stepped out onto the hot asphalt. She observed the scene around her.

Students were stalling for time, and teachers were discussing classes as they walked to their own. Buffy shut the door and pulled her bag out of the back seat.

“Hey, Buffy. Good morning, Angel,” she heard called out. She spun around to see Anya waving as she locked her own car.

“Did Oz forget to pick you up again?” Buffy yelled out to her teasingly. Anya laughed sarcastically as she started in the direction of the building.

“Are you kidding? He loves me too much to forget me like that. He doesn’t, however, love me enough to pick me up on time.”

Buffy laughed and turned back to Angel. “Thank you,” she told him.

Angel frowned down at her. “For what?” he asked her as they made their way to the massive building. Buffy stood on the tips of her toes to brush down Angel’s straight dark brown hair.

“For not being a lead guitarist in a band that plays so much you have to sleep in and miss part of first period and me.”

Angel laughed and put his arm around her. “You are most welcome. And if I ever do join his band Dingoes Ate My Baby, I’ll be sure to miss my last period classes and use that time to sleep just for you.”

They laughed together and Buffy cut herself off when she spotted Xander and Willow at their lockers with arms around each other. Buffy longed to have someone that could just make her glow by talking like the way Xander and Willow were with each other.

The couple had started dating a few months after Buffy and Angel. Buffy had pleaded and begged Xander to ask her out all summer, and finally he did to find himself the happiest guy she knew.

She turned to Angel and put her hand on his chest apoligetically. “Go on,” he responded with a smile. “I’ll catch up with you before lunch.” Buffy smiled and walked over to her best friends.

“Hey guys,” she welcomed with a true smile. Xander took his arm off of Willow’s waist and embraced Buffy with a bear hug.

“Good morning, friend. How’s life treating you this morning?” he questioned with a secretive undertone to the question.

“Can’t complain,” she answered with a smile. Willow knowingly looked deep into Buffy’s green eyes. “Honestly. I’m doing fine. I’ve never been happier,” she stated with emphasis. “So, any interesting news this morning?”

Willow laughed at her friend’s question. “As usual, Oz is sleeping late, and Anya is none too pleased. She loves him too much to really say anything, and Oz loves his band too much to quit, so they are basically at their peak. Tara and Warren had a huge fight about Warren using drugs. Tara wants him to quit, and I don’t blame her. Warren promised he would, but you know him. That lasted all but one day, and now Tara is considering breaking up with him.”

Buffy stopped at her locker and turned the dial to put in the familiar number combination. “Seriously? I was really rooting for those two.” Willow pouted her lips in agreement. “Anything else?” They thought for a moment, trying to remember the weekend gossip and avoid talking about Spike’s misery.

“Oh,” Xander shouted, startling everyone around and embarrassing the two girls. “Sorry,” he added more passively. “Parker and Cordelia hooked up this weekend.”

Buffy groaned. “That will last less than a week. Cordelia may not be the cheating kind, but she still flirts with anything male that moves. And Parker will nail anything female that moves, so it’s anybody’s guess as to who backs out first.”

Xander shut Buffy’s locker as she pulled out the last of her books. He slipped his arms around the shoulders of the girls on his sides. “Riley and I took bets. I’m hoping to get some extra cash anyway, so I’m going to help persuade Parker by throwing hot babes in his sight tonight at the Bronze. You busy?”

Buffy rolled her eyes and threw a playful punch in his side. The Bronze was the local club that had live bands, dancing, food, and drinks. Many of Sunnydale High’s students spent their free nights there trying to spend time with their friends, trying to find new friends, or just trying to get dates.

“No. I’m not going to get involved in that mess. And anyway, don’t you have something else you have to do tonight?” she asked, worried that he had already forgot.

Xander made a face to act like he was thinking. Buffy and Willow threw their hands up in disgust and walked into the classroom.

“I’m just joking guys. I know we have driving class tonight. I’m just so not looking forward to listening to another hour of Giles droning on and on about how to properly park a car. He knows we all know how to drive, but it sucks that we still have to have enough required hours to pass the class. And why do we have to take it on our free time anyway?”

Buffy put her books down and sat down beside Willow. “Are you complaining? It’s only one, sometimes two nights a week, and he already cuts twenty minutes off class just because he knows us all so well. I mean, it’s not everyday that one of your best friend’s parent teaches one of your classes.”

Xander and Willow smiled. “Speaking of, where is Spike?” Willow asked as she surveyed the room.

“He better hurry up,” Xander faked anger. “I saved him a seat. Unless you want to sit beside him, Buff?”

Buffy threw a glare at Xander as she pulled out her notebook for class. Xander just ducked his head at Buffy as Spike slipped in the room and sat down beside him. “Right,” he said sorrily. “Math time now.”

The final bell rang and students seemed to pour out of the cracks of Sunnydale High. Monday was finally over, and many of them had a fresh load of work to do for the upcoming week. Buffy grabbed the books she needed and hurried to find her other sophomore friends. She walked out of the door to find all of them gathered around the giant water fountain in the schoolyard.

“Hey Sweetie,” Angel greeted as he pulled her close for a kiss. Before she got close enough, Buffy saw Spike out of the corner of her eye. The look upon his face literally tore her heart to pieces. He looked so dissapointed that she was with him.

She pulled back from Angel’s kiss as quickly as possible to try and erase the look on Spike’s face. Xander saw the look and tried to start a new subject. Buffy looked across the faces of her friends. She could tell which ones knew about Spike from the way of their eyes. She counted up the ones who knew.

Willow and Xander were definates. Riley and Anya had suspecting looks. Was it that obvious to everyone? Just how blind was she? Buffy’s gaze went everywhere but to Spike’s. A few silent moments passed as she watched the sun reflect off of Willow’s fiery red hair.

“So who is going to the Bronze tonight?” Angel asked, oblivious to the surrounding tension. Riley answered him. “We’ve got class tonight. Aren’t you coming?” Spike’s eyes darted to Buffy as hers went from Spike to Angel and back.

“Nope. I have to babysit my little brother Connor while Mom’s at work.” Buffy let out a sigh of relief. She did not want to have to sit through another night of sitting between the two while Angel tried to hold her and guilty pangs shot through Buffy as Spike had to sit and watch.

“I forgot that there were two meetings this week. I planned to miss Wednesday night too.” Buffy glanced at Spike and caught his half smile and piercing blue eyes, and her heart gave a sudden jolt.

“Dad has some kind of thing planned for us,” continued Angel. Xander glanced at Willow hopefully. “Sorry,” she whined. “I know it’s an open class even if you’ve already taken it, and I know you want me to go to spend time together, but we’re going out to eat tonight. It has been a long time since I’ve done anything with my family.” Xander pouted jokingly. “I understand. Well Buff,” he said more energetic, “I guess it’s just me, you, Riley, and Spike tonight.”

Buffy and Spike’s eyes averted around each other’s. Spike’s eyes finally caught Buffy’s as she slowly looked up into his vibrant blue eyes. She saw them sparkle when she looked back at him. For a fraction of a second, she felt the space being filled by his smile, but the feeling was gone before she realized what had happened. Spike looked at Angel and Xander. “I guess it is.”
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Buffy and Willow walked arm in arm down Main Street. They passed the cafés and shops that lined the sides of the road. As they passed the gallery, Buffy waved in the window to Joyce. “How late does your mom work at nights?” asked Willow slyly. “She gets off while I’m at class. Why?” Buffy asked as she caught Willow’s innocent look. “I’m thinking about going all the way with Xander,” she said too quickly.

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. “Willow, are you sure? I mean, this is a big step. Especially for you!” Willow turned to face Buffy and grabbed her hands. “I know. And I believe that I’m ready. I’ve never loved anyone so much.”

Buffy looked into her friend’s eyes. She saw the passion and love for Xander radiating off of her. She smiled brightly and even felt a little jealous. “You’re right, Will. You two are so happy together. I’ll help in any way possible.”

Willow giggled at Buffy’s response. “Thanks, Buff.” She dropped her gaze as she pondered whether to continue. Just as she decided against it, Buffy caught her on it. “Alright, missy. What gives, huh? There is something else you’re not telling me.”

Willow looked over Buffy’s shoulders as she searched for an explanation. “I am so incredibly happy with Xander. I feel my world brighten when I’m around him. And you know, Buffy, you do the same thing. When you are around him, or even when he just looks at you or when you hear his voice, you glow. I’ve never seen two people more in love. He cares for you so much, Buffy. You guys truly belong together.”

Buffy smiled as a wave of emotions swept over her. Now she knew for sure that she was in the right relationship. She could relax more around Spike knowing that she wasn’t missing out on something.

“Thanks, Will. You don’t know how much that means to me. I think that’s the space that’s been missing. The glow. I just wasn’t sure if I had it, and I’ve had it all along. Now I don’t have to worry if I’m missing out on anything with Spike.”

Willow stopped suddenly and stared at her friend. “Buffy, I was talking about Spike.”

The color drained from Buffy’s face. She found a bench and slowly sat down with Willow’s help. “You’ve got to be mistaken. The glow must be coming from Angel. I don’t love Spike. I have very strong caring feelings for him, but only as that. I can’t love Spike. He’s my best friend.”

Willow frowned and held on to her. “Buffy…” she said carefully. Buffy looked up at Willow. Her mind was reeling. Could that be why her heart seemed to stop every time Spike looked at her? Could it possibly be love instead of just guilt? And why did Willow say she glows around Spike instead of Angel?

Willow sat down beside her and brushed a strand of hair from her face. She placed her fingertips on Buffy’s arm, interrupting her thoughts. “Maybe I am wrong, but think about this. That void that you said you feel, when do you feel it? Ignore the space and think about Angel. You feel the emptiness. Now ignore it again and think of Spike.”

Buffy’s mind flashed a picture of Spike’s sweet half smile with his blue eyes sparkling at Buffy. She saw the love in his eyes and felt the compassion he had for her. A small smile slinked across her face without her realizing it. Willow grinned greatly at her as she observed the color and brightness return to her face.

“Now where is that space?” Buffy turned to Willow and let out a small gasp. She didn’t feel the emptiness at all. It was finally gone, and just from thinking of Spike’s smile. “You’re right,” she said slowly as the smile returned with full force. “I am in love with Spike.”

The next two days went by slowly for Buffy. Her every thought was consumed by Spike and his smiling face. Buffy often caught herself smiling to herself in the strangest places including quiet dinners, sad moments in dramatic movies, and even when she was with Angel.

Monday night’s driving class was the best one Buffy could remember in a long time. She felt relaxed and wasn’t conscious about how she acted to Spike. Everything was smooth and natural when she was around him now. She could now feel the glow that Willow was talking about, and she now felt truly happy.

The next morning, she started to feel akward around Angel, but she quickly dismissed the thoughts from her mind as she continued her life with him.

Buffy climbed out of the car and grabbed her bag. She didn’t wait for Angel to lock the car as she bounced to the door and was confronted by Anya and Oz.

“Hey guys,” she squeaked out. “I see that you made it on time this morning, Oz. Did your band not play last night?”

Anya frantically tried to wave warnings to Buffy not to bring up the topic. Buffy caught the warning as she arched her eyebrows, but she was too late. Oz furiously threw open the door to the school.

“No! We got replaced by some wanna be band called The Bloodsuckers. I know it’s not like we got replaced on a Friday night, but it still could be as bad. This new band will start replacing the little bands like The Bringers and The Trioka. This new band has potential. They will start taking out the weaklings, and we could eventually get replaced permanately…”

Oz kept rambling on as Anya gave Buffy an apologetic smile. “It will be okay, Oz,” Buffy comforted warm and softly. Things will get better. You’ll see.” Buffy patted his arm and continued to glide down the hallway.

Anya grinned after Buffy. “What’s with her?” questioned Oz with his face contorted. Anya shrugged and laughed. “Maybe she finally discovered what she was missing with Spike.”

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Spike shut his locker and walked down the hall to the courtyard for lunch. He stepped into the sunlight and spotted the blonde sitting by the fountain. His heart swelled and he tried to calm himself before coming upon the group.

Buffy was smiling and laughing at some joke that had just been told. She looked up when she saw the black of Spike’s shirt.

“Hey you,” she greeted warmly. Spike could only grin like an idiot. He had noticed a change in her the last few days, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.

She had been more warm around him and had even started joking about their situation. He felt that she was becoming more used to the whole thing and was no longer worried about saying the wrong thing anymore.

“We were just talking about the new band that played at the Bronze last night,” explained Xander. “Buffy told us that Oz is pretty bummed about it.”

Spike looked at Xander awoken from his thoughts. Buffy laughed once again. “He was freaking out. Anya looked pretty stressed out from the whole thing.”

He looked back at Buffy and smiled. “Oz is a good guy. He’ll calm down soon enough. There’s no way he will stay mad forever, let alone stay mad.” Everyone laughed.

Oz was the quiet type of guy, but a few days out of the month it seemed the monster inside of him came out and attacked anything that bugged him, almost like a werewolf during the fullmoon.

Spike looked around and noticed that someone was missing. “Where’s Angel?” Buffy answered him naturally. “He had to stay after class to talk to Ms. Calender. One of his computer asssignments got deleted on accident and he may have to do the project all over again.”

Spike was about to reply when Angel came up behind Buffy. “But now I don’t. I used my charm to get out of it.”

He wrapped his arms around her and leaned down for a kiss. Buffy pecked his lips and welcomed his hug. Spike’s heart stopped as he thought of Buffy’s new happiness in a different perspective.

Maybe she was happy because she had decided to stay with Angel and not worry about him. “Ms. Calender said she was checking my work as I went along anyway, and she thinks it deserves a B. So I have free time fourth period for the rest of the grading period.”

Buffy smiled at Angel’s excitement. “We all have class again tonight. Are you still busy?” Angel nodded. “Yep. Dad has movies planned for us. I would come, but I hardly get to see him enough as it is with the divorce and everything.”

Buffy tried to hide a smile. “Too bad. Oh, well. The less people, the shorter Giles makes the class.”

Willow looked at Buffy with a questioning look. Buffy just grinned at her. “Um…Buff?” she asked worried. “Yes?” she replied with a twinkle in her eyes.

“That thing that we discussed on Monday after school…” She stalled to try and lose the attention of everyone else but only attracted more. “You’re not gonna…you know, bring that up, are you?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Buffy as they waited for her answer to the cryptic question. “I think that its time I did. It deserves to be said,” she said carefully throwing a glance at Spike.

He watched her closely and tried to decipher their conversation. “What the bugger are you two going on about?” he finally asked. Buffy just chuckled.

“It is none of your business, William. If it is, you’ll find out soon enough,” she said with a secret smile in her eyes.

Angel threw his hands up in the air. “I swear you all can read each other’s minds sometimes.” Xander smiled at Angel. “Every feel left out?” Buffy glared at Xander in a warning. “Watch it,” she mouthed so Angel couldn’t see.

The final lunch bell rang, and everyone jumped up and grabbed their things. Buffy looked around at everyone and said goodbye. “I’ll see everyone tonight.”

Laughter rang out from the foursome walking down the dark street. Buffy, Spike, Xander, and Riley made their way to Giles’ shop on Main Street for their driving class.

Just as they reached the door, Giles stepped out to welcome them in. “I heard you guys coming five minutes ago. I’m glad you all are feeling cheerful tonight. How are you, Buffy?” he asked as she passed into the room.

“Peachy with a side of keen,” she answered with a smile and delight. Giles returned the smile and closed the door behind the group.

He pulled off his glasses and began to clean the spot that never seemed to dissappear. Buffy and the other sat around the round table in the center of the room.

She looked around at the weird jars filled with weird stuff. The greenish room was filled with strange objects that Buffy couldn’t help but wonder what they all were used for. She couldn’t help but laugh at the sign on the counter that read ‘Shoplifters will be transfigured.’

“Giles,” she began, “what made you want to start a magic shop? I mean, I’m surprised that people in this town actual buy this stuff.” Giles replaced his glasses and walked up to the table to join the others.

“Actually an astonishing amount of people are interested in magic. With some of them I get the impression that they actually believe in all the balderdash about magic.”

Buffy passed a smile to Spike who was desperately tring to contain his laughter. “Anyway,” he continued with a shake of his head, “let’s get started on our lesson, shall we?”

Everyone shifted in their seats to prepare for the long and boring lesson. As usual, Xander started in on his arguments with Giles. The two were so close, it wasn’t disrespectful to each other when they argued so much.

Buffy was staring off into space when she felt something brush against her arm. She nearly jumped out of her seat and saw the piece of paper in front of her. She opened it up and saw Spike’s hand writing on the paper.

‘Bloody hell, those two could argue with a brick wall!’ it read. Buffy laughed and kept reading. ‘I say we sneak away and go in the back to makeout.’

Buffy laughed to herself and wrote back. ‘I would, but you know I think they would notice when half of his students are missing.’

Buffy passed the note and watched Spike’s expressions as he read it. He wrote something back and passed it to her. ‘Too bad. We could have had some real fun.’

Buffy looked up and caught Spike’s stare. He smiled at her, and she felt the warmth of it reach her core. She shivered from his stare looking into her and not just at her. It was then that she realized she needed to tell Spike about her feelings towards him.

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The class finally ended with a few minutes left for free time. Riley and Xander continued a conversation about the class that Buffy got lost in from lack of attention earlier.

Buffy saw Giles on the phone making business calls, and she grabbed Spike’s hand and led him to the back room. She opened the door and saw boxes of inventory scattered around.

She led Spike to the only seats in the room, an orange couch that was torn and worn out. They sat down, and she saw the look of confusion on his face.

“I just thought that we could come back here and talk. It’s better than having to listen to those two argue.” Spike laughed in agreement.

Suddenly he realized that he was still holding Buffy’s hand. He stared at their adjoining hands for a moment too long. Buffy followed his stare and noticed their hands.

She slowly and politely pulled away. She sighed heavily and readied herself for the coming conversation.

“Spike,” she said sadly.

“Yes?” he replied too quickly as he moved to face her better.

“Um…I just wanted to tell you that…” Buffy became nervous as his eyes watched her every movement. “Yes?” he waited.

She looked up to him and saw those beautiful blue eyes that she had grown to love and need. Her mind flashed back to the day she first moved to Sunnydale as a kid. She was from the big city of Los Angeles and didn’t know anyone in the strange new town except for Xander.

Xander and Buffy’s parents were best friends and any time they were in town, they always stayed with the Summers. Xander was there for Buffy when her parents had divorced which had forced Buffy and Joyce to move to a new town.

There she was, a six year old girl that only knew one kid in the town and starting at a new school. Xander had grabbed her hand with his hazel eyes gleaming and led her into the classroom filled with noisy children.

“Buffy,” he said with his voice overflowing with excitement. “This is my best friend Spike.” Upon hearing his name, Spike turned to face the blonde haired girl. His eyes were the first thing she noticed as he looked her over.

He grinned a goofy smile with missing teeth and gave her a tour of the classroom. “You can sit by me,” he said shyly.

That was the beginning of their friendship. They had grown up together and had been through everything. They were inseperable, and now they were sitting alone in the back of Giles’ store on an old orange couch, and Buffy was about to tell him the secrets of her heart, her love for him.

“Spike, I just wanted to tell you that…I love you.” Spike remained motionless across from Buffy. She waited for a reaction, and when she got none, she became desperately worried.

“Spike, what’s wrong?” she panicked. He finally snapped out of his trance and stared back at Buffy. “What did you say?”

She sighed and her eyes fell to the floor. She watched a spider make its way to the hole it was aiming for and tried to make the situation disappear. “I love you.”

Spike reached out and put his hand under her chin. He lifted it to her, and she looked at him with tears threatening to fall.

“Why are you crying? I’m not mad.” Buffy sniffed and pulled back from his touch. “You’re not?”

Spike laughed. “No. Why would I be mad at you for that?”

She couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. They slid freely down her face as she sobbed. “I was worried that you would get mad because…I don’t know why. It does seem kind of silly now. I’m sorry.”

Spike wiped away a tear and slightly brushed his fingertips across her face. “What are you going to do now? With Angel and all?”

Buffy sniffed and wiped her eyes. She sighed once more as she told Spike her idea. “I’m going to think about it. I don’t know for sure who I wan’t to be with.”

Spike’s forehead crinkled up and he stopped her. “What do you mean? You don’t love him too, do you?” Buffy held Spike’s hand, and he violently pulled away. “I do love him too. I just don’t know who I want to be with.”

Spike stared at her in disbelief. “Spike, I love you so much, I just want to make sure that I’m doing the right thing. I would love to be with you, I just don’t think this whole thing is fair to Angel, and I don’t want to leave him and regret it. Please understand that I want to do the right thing.”

Spike watched the spider leave the hole and crawl under the couch in search of food. He thought about Buffy and her side of the situation. He wanted to be with her so badly that it was killing him, but he understood her decision.

“Okay, Buffy. I’ll give you all the time in the world that you need, because you will be worth the wait.” Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around Spike’s neck. “Thank you, so much for understanding.”

Just as Buffy pulled away, the door swung open as Xander and Riley poured in. “Hey guys. What have you two been up to?” Xander asked with a laugh.

Spike and Buffy joined the laughter and passed secret smiles. “Rides are here. It’s time to go. Giles wants to close up.”

Spike and Buffy stood up and walked to the door following Xander. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” spike said quietly as everyone around them left. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Buffy smiled and stepped outside and into her mom’s car. “Hi sweetie,” Joyce greeted sincerely. “How was class?” Buffy smiled at her and turned to the window. “Oh, just the boring usual.”

Buffy pulled her hair back in a clip and surveyed her wardrobe once more. It was Saturday night, and she was on her way to the annual party at the Bronze for their opening anniversary. She smoothed out her pants and shirt as she caught the twinkle in her eyes.

She knew that it was because of Spike and the looks they had passed each other throughout the end of the week. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him and his feelings for her.

Her mind rushed back to that hot summer day when Spike had admitted the feelings of his heart to her. They were alone in Weatherly Park, waiting for one of Angel’s baseball games to end. Spike was slowly pushing Buffyon the tire swing as they talked and laughed together. They held in their laughter as Dawn hurried up to them.

“The game’s over. Angel is looking for you, Buffy.” Dawn met them at the swing and walked with them back.

“Spike are you going home, or are you going to hang around all over Buffy like you usually do?” she teased. Spike laughed, and Buffy couldn’t help but stare at her younger friend’s bluntness.

“Can I help it if I’m in love with her?” he asked. Buffy stared at Spike in disbelief, and he passed her a smile, acting like nothing had just happened.

Her mind was brought back to present day when Joyce called up the stairs. “Buffy, Spike is here with your ride.”

Buffy took one last look in the mirror before starting down the stairs. She saw Spike standing at the bottom talking casually with her mother. She couldn’t help but smile as her heart skipped a beat as she paused on the stairs to watch him.

His movements were graceful and everything she noticed about him seemed compassionate. His slight touch on Joyce’s arm when she spoke, the way he actually looked at her when she spoke, and even the way he stood seemed to reflect his personality. Buffy had never noticed that with anyone before.

“Buffy are you all right?” Joyce asked as she studied her young daughter. Buffy slightly shook herself out of her daze and continued down the stairs. “I’m fine. Are you ready?” she asked Spike.

When he had seen Buffy on the stairs, Spike had lost his breath at her beauty. She seemed to leave him breathless anytime he saw her. He remembered to breath again whe he noticed everyone staring at him awaiting an answer.

“I’m ready. Let’s go, pet. I don’t want to miss anything,” he said as he put his hand lightly on her shoulder. Buffy shuddered as she felt his small touch. Her body ached to feel his hands runall over her body, but she quickly dismissed the thoughts and opened the door.

“Bye, Mom. I’ll see you later tonight,” she departed. Joyce wathced them exit the house and make their way to Spike’s Desato. “You two try not to have too much fun,” she said in a laugh as she closed the door.

---------------

Spike and Buffy entered the Broze to be welcomed by the loud screaming coming from the band on stage at the time. Buffy noticed that it wasn’t the Dingoes, and she saw an angry Oz sitting in sitting in the corner.

They pushed their way through the crowd and finally found Xander and Willow. “Hey guys. So how is the party this year?” Buffy asked upon her arrival. She pulled up a seat around the table to join the group when Anya, Oz, and Riley walked up.

“They’ve got good food but lousy bands,” he added with Anya’s diry look. “Thanks, Xander.” Oz grumbled. “But you don’t have to lie for me.” Oz sulked away from the table looking for an escape.

“Poor guy,” Willow sympathized. Anya shrugged. “I give up trying to help him on this one. He’s on his own. So Bufy, where is Angel?”

Spike shot a look at Buffy whom he had been watching out of the corner of his eye. He had waited for an answer to their situation all week, but Buffy was apparently having difficulty choosing or trying not to make the wrong decision. He had noticed her watching him in class at the end of the week, and he had thought that maybe she had made up her mind, but he guessed she was just basking in the glow of new love. He wanted her so badly to have all for himself, but he knew that he had to wait or else he might lose her forever.

“Angel had to watch Connor for a little while until his Mom got home. He’ll be here soon,” she answered her. The gang all talked and joked for what seemed like hours until the smell of the food startedto reach their noses.

“Buff, do you want me to go get you something?” Spike offered softly as she watched a plate of food float by. “I’ll get it Spike,” Angel said as he walked up to the assembly. “You don’t have to waste your time.” Buffy smiled and leaned into him as he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

Spike’s eyes narrowed, and he cleched his jaw and felt his fists tighten. Angel walked towards the food. “But I would love to,” he said to himself sadly as he watched his girl stare after Angel.

“Yo, Spike. What’s happening?” Faith asked as she put her arm around him. Faith was a senior at Sunnydale High, who always hung on all of the guys. She flirted with everyone and never made a serious commitment. Spike saw a frown on Buffy’s face, and he noted the jealous look that crossed it. “Nothing much, Faithy. How are you?”

Faith puckered her lips and responded. “Five by five. You wanna go dance?” Spike stole one last look at Buffy. He thought he saw her eyes pleading with him not to go, but at the moment he was too mad at her and Angel to care.

“Sure, Faith. I’ll go dance with you.” He left with Faith arm in arm to the dance floor. Buffy frowned at him as Angel returned with her chips. “Here’s your food, Cutie.” Buffy smiled at his nickname for her and wiggled closer to him.

If Spike wants to play that way, then so be it, she thought with pain in her heart. She smashed her lips onto Angel’s before putting a chip in her mouth. “Thanks, Babe.” She added with a smile.

Angel watched her lips as she spoke to him, and he couldn’t help but notice her pink tongue slip out of her mouth as she pulled the chip in. He grinned and put his arm around her. He pulled her closer and began running his fingers along her side, hoping for the best by the end of the night.

Buffy picked up on Angel’s attempts at trying to get her playful, and she decided to play along for once and not fight it. She missed the flirting in their relationship, and with Spike ignoring her, she thought she’d try to get it back.

Willow watched Buffy and Angel as they snuggled closer together with each passing second. She spotted Spike on the dance floor pressing himself even further into Faith. She sighed deeply with disappointment.

-------------------------------

Spike and Faith had returned from the dance floor. Xander, Angel, and Spike had made their way to the food talking about the recent basketball games. Faith quickly left them for some other guy to dance with, and the others were out dancing as well. That had left Buffy and Willow alone at the table.

“Hey Willow, does Spike seem kind of distant to you tonight?” Buffy asked her quietly as she leaned in. Willow stared at her waiting for the rest of it.

“Well, not really to you, but does he seem distant towards me? Did I do something wrong, or is he just fed up with the whole thing?”

“I don’t know, Buff.” Willow murmured. “Maybe you should just ask him about it. I know that you guys aren’t in the best of situations right now.”

Buffy waited a beat. “I guess you’re right, Will. Thank you so much for everything. You are my best friend in the world, and I owe so much to you.” Willow smiled at her best friend. She knew that everything had to eventually turn out right, no matter how much time Buffy needed.

------------------------------

Buffy stood outside the door of the Bronze and waited for Spike. He had been ignoring her the whole night, and Buffy was starting to get frustrated by it. When Buffy heard someone open the door, she turned to face Spike, Riley, and Oz who were all overcome with smiles and laughter.

Spike’s smile disappeared, and he looked pass her and kept going. “Spike,” she called out. He slowly stopped and turned to face her. “Guys, I’ll meet up with you later,” he dismissed them. Riley and Oz said their goodbyes and continued walking down the street.

“What?” he asked somewhat hatefully. Tears filled Buffy’s eyes as she felt his anger hit her like a ton of bricks. Spike saw the water filling her eyes and all of his anger melted instantly.

“Did I do something to make you mad at me?” she questioned shakily. His mind flashed back to Angel and Buffy with their arms wrapped around each other, and the hatred returned.

“Of course not, pet,” he said sarcastically. “Why would I be upset over you and nancy boy with your hands all over each other?”

Before Buffy could answer he continued. “Of course I’m upset!” he shouted to her. “You know how I feel every time I see you with him. I feel like I’m being ripped up inside and that part of me is dying, especially after you told me how you feel. But even still, you go and get all cuddly with him right in front of me like it’s no big deal.”

The tears started to fall from Buffy’s eyes as Spike continued to yell. He stopped when her heard her sniffle. “Spike, the only reason I was like that tonight is because you were all over Faith. I had so much jealousy run through me, and you aren’t even real friends with her. I know how you feel, because I feel the same way with you. I just have to make sure I’ll be doing the best thing for me if I decide to be with you.”

Spike watched her crying and explaining her actions, and his heart swelled with emotions. Buffy lowered her voice and stepped closer to Spike.

“I know that you don’t think that anyone could love me as much as you do, but Angel does. I love him too, but I just don’t know who’s the right one. I feel complete when I’m with you, but part of me is afraid that if I leave Angel, I’ll be missing another part, and I don’t want to be incomplete. I want the whole me, all of me, to give.”

Spike sighed and put his arm on Buffy. She closed her eyes and wiped away the last of her tears. “I’m sorry, luv,” Spike said easily. He gently squeezed her shoulder. “I understand. I’ll wait no matter how long it takes, because if the result is you, it’ll be well worth it.”

Buffy smiled and laughed as Spike led her back to the party. “Now let’s go inside and have actual fun tonight and promise each other that it will be the real us there, and not the us because of anyone else.”

Buffy smiled. She perfecty understood what Spike meant. She opened the door and agreed to have the fun that she deserved.

Buffy walked into her bedroom and threw her books down in disgust. “Mom, I’ve got a lot of homework, so I’ll be up here for a while,” she called down the stairs before shutting the door.

She turned around to see Angel sitting on her window sill. She let out a small scream and clasped her hand over her mouth. “Surprise,” he said with a sly smile.

“Angel, you have to leave. You’ll get me in trouble,” Buffy whispered as she tried to force him back out the window. Angel puckered out his lip.

“Come on, beautiful. I didn’t hardly get to be with you at all Saturday night because Spike kept talking to you. Then you guys all went out yesterday without me. I wanted a little Buffy time,” he whined.

Buffy frowned at him. He seemed to always want time to be near her and not with her. “That’s it,” Buffy said to herself.

A look of confusion crossed Angel’s face. “What’s it?” he asked lost. Buffy shook herself out of her stupor.

“Nothing. Sorry. Now you have to leave before I get busted,” she said with more force. Angel sighed and grabbed Buffy’s belt loop to pull her close. He grabbed her in a lustful kiss as his tongue tried to wiggle in her mouth. Buffy refused him and pushed back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He gave her a half-smile and left through the window. “I hope you and Spike work out your problems,” he said causing Buffy’s heart to leap into her chest. “It seemed like he was kinda mad at you the other night. Well, have fun at class tonight, Cutie.”

Buffy watched him leave. As soon as he was gone, she rushed to the phone and dialed the familiar number. When the phone was picked up on the other line, Buffy didn’t wait for a response. “Passion,” she blurted out.

“What? Who is this?” came the questions from Willow.

“It’s Buffy,” she hurriedly answered. “Passion. That’s what I felt was missing. And with Spike, I feel that radiating off of him. But with Angel, I feel that the passion is gone. I need to either get the passion back with Angel, or I need to get the commitment from Spike. You know that he doesn’t stay with a girl very long…look at Drusilla.”

Willow waited and thought about what Buffy had said. “Passion is pretty important, Buff. Are you sure you and Angel could get it back?”

“That’s what I have to find out. Until then, I need to see if Spike has all of the other qualities that I have with Angel. I mean, I don’t want to make the wrong decision.” Buffy said with exasperation. “What do you think, Will?”

“I think that you have it all figured out. I think you need the passion, and you need the commitment. But I wouldn’t wait too long. Spike might not wait around forever, no matter what he says.”

Buffy sighed and replayed Willow’s advice in her head. “Thanks again, Willow. You are the best friend someone could have.” Buffy hung up the phone and started on her homework before going to class.

----------------------------------

Buffy walked into the Magic Box on Maple Court. She saw everyone sitting around the table waiting for her to join them. “Sorry I’m late guys,” she said apologetically. “I got caught up in studying for the stupid history final I have to take over. Teachers that lose test scores really need their license revoked.”

Everyone laughed and smiled in forgiveness as she sat down. Giles stepped out from behind the counter. “Well, now that everyone is here, we can begin.”

Giles began on the usual drone of driving speeches. She smiled at the laughter that was being prevented from leaking out of everyone as they shared in their boredness. Buffy noticed that a piece of paper had found its way to her lap. She looked up and saw that no one had noticed.

Have you changed your mind about that making out thing, because I am seriously dying of boredom over here. The note ended with a smiley face drawn on it to show that Spike was teasing. Buffy had a sudden thought that surprised her. She scribbled down one word on the paper and handed it make, not sure what she was doing.

Spike opened the paper, and what he read nearly gave him a heart attack. The one word that was inscribed on the paper read, Okay. Spike looked up at Buffy to see her staring at him. His hands started shaking and his breath started to come in short gasps.

Buffy took the paper from his hands, still not sure what she was doing. It read, Are you serious? Buffy noticed that her own breath had started coming slowly and her hands had started to sweat. She shook her head slowly at Spike. He ripped off another piece of paper and wrote, Okay then. Wow. Let’s go outside, it’ll be better.

At the time Buffy opened the paper and read its words, thunder shook the ground. “Ah, man,” Spike grumbled.

“What’s a matter, Spike? You don’t have to walk home in this,” Xander said in disgust at the weather.

“I had other plans,” stated Spike simply. Buffy just smiled at him. She nodded her head towards the door that led to the basement. Spike grinned in acceptance.

They all awaited the end of class. Giles was about to dismiss them when Xander started another argument that was sure to last a while. Buffy saw Spike fidgeting in his seat, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just bloody get on with it then,” he said with irritation.

Buffy’s mind kept asking what she was doing, but she didn’t even have an answer for herself. I just need the passion, she kept telling herself over and over. I just need Spike’s touch on my body, was what the back of her mind was saying.

Buffy saw Spike’s eyes look deep into hers, and she knew that what she was about to do would be good for them. It might not be right, she thought to herself. But it’ll be worth it.

Spike slightly put his hand on Buffy’s arm. She jumped and then realized that everyone was gone. “Everyone else is in the back room,” he said softly. When she looked at him, he slightly blushed in embarassment. “Do you still want to?”

Buffy stood up quickly. “Yes,” she rasped. She followed him to the door and went down the steps when he let her pass before him.

The room was slightly lit from an old lamp in the corner. It cast shadows across the walls and left an eerie feeling that settled across the room. Buffy noticed an old desk sitting in the corner covered in papers. She watched the shadows change shapes as Spike walked in front of the light.

“So…” he began sitting a good distance away from her on a stray box. He tried to catch her gaze, but it kept jumping around the room. “Let’s get this over with,” he said as he closed the distance between them with his arms stretched out.

Before Buffy could protest at the last minute, his lips were crushing hers with a kiss so intense, it stole all of the air out of Buffy’s lungs. The passion she was needing now swept over her and seemed to steal her identity. She felt Spike’s hands reach up and cup her face in them. She shivered at the slight touch of him on her skin. Spike pulled closer in to her, and she felt the bulge in his pants press into her. She couldn’t help but giggle when Spike pulled back for air, but he was again crushing her with another kiss.

She felt his tongue graze across her wet lips looking for an entrance, but it was nothing like Angel, she later thought. Spike almost seemed to be asking for permission to enter when Angel just tried to get in.

She allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. It slowly started to massage hers, and Buffy let out a gasp of pleasure. Energy and emotions were screaming inside of her. She had never experienced something so powerful.

Spike slowly started walking her back to the wall, his lips never leaving hers for a moment. When they reached it, Spike pressed Buffy up against it, ever so gently. He pressed further into her and their bodies seemed to become one for the moment. Spike’s hands slowly started to come down to her waist. Buffy started to feel more comfortable, and she raised her hands to Spike’s soft curls. She ran her hands through his hair, making him moan and press deeper into her body.

Spike started kissing beside Buffy’s mouth. He peppered kisses all over her face, covering her cheeks, eyes, and even the tip of her nose. Buffy tilted her head back, wanting more, the thought of stopping never crossing her mind. Spike began to kiss down her neck in open mouth kisses.

Buffy felt something run through her that she had never felt before. It started from Spike’s fingertips on her, and it went all the way down into her core. Buffy started having a funny feeling in her stomach, and she held the back of Spike’s head as he continued to kiss along her neck. She felt her whole body tremble as his tongue touched her, and it felt so good that it almost hurt.

Spike came back up and pressed Buffy in another passionate kiss on their already swollen lips. “I love you,” Spike softly whispered in Buffy’s ear.

Her heart began to swell and tears formed in her eyes that were unseen by the darkness. “I love you too,” she said after managing to find her voice again.

They continued for what seemed like an eternity, but only lasted a few minutes. Buffy heard Giles’ voice from upstairs, and reality came crashing down hard on the two. She pulled back slightly, her hands holding his jaw. “We better go. I don’t want them to get suspicious.”

Spike shook his head in agreement. “You’re right. It would be bad if Dad came down here and saw us like this.” Buffy laughed as the door opened above them.

“Hey guys,” Xander yelled down to them. “Are you two down here?” He barreled down the stairs with Riley close behind him. They waited for them to come down. Xander spotted them on the boxes that they had started on. “What have you two been doing?” he teased with a mocking face.

Spike and Buffy just stared at dumbfounded. “Talking, you git,” Spike said. Xander tilted his head over to Buffy.

“Really?” he asked with a huge smile plastered on his face. He passed Riley a smile that said he somehow knew the secret. “Buffy? What were you doing?”

Buffy passed a confused look to Spike and then back to Xander. “Talking to Spike about school. Why, Xander?”

Xander couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. “If you two were talking, then how did that gigantic hickey get on your neck?” Riley started laughing soon after that. Buffy’s hand automatically reached up to cover the spot that had not long ago been covered in Spike’s kisses.

Spike’s eyes darted to Buffy, who looked as white as a ghost. He walked over to her and turned her neck. “Bloody hell,” he said as he spotted it.

“Is it big?” she asked praying that it was tiny and could be covered by make-up easily.

“Um…Buff,” Riley interrupted as he watched her neck like a vampire. “You might want to put your hair down.”

Buffy whined and pulled out her pony tail. She ran her fingers through her hair to comb it out. Spike realized the humor of the situation and started to laugh with Riley. “You know,” he began. “This is funny. What will Angel say?”

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Spike!” she shouted. “He’ll know he didn’t do it. He would never cause something like this.” Him and Riley just laughed.

“Don’t worry, Buff,” Xander said quietly as he moved over to her. “I’m sure make-up will cover it. Besides, even if it doesn’t you can wear your hair down.” Buffy scowled.

“Buffy,” he said softly. “Now that this has happened, you need to decide.” Buffy’s eyes shot up to him. Spike and Riley were laughing to themselves in the corner.

“Xander, you don’t realize how hard that is. You don’t understand. I see Spike, and my heart flows over with love. When I see Angel, I have love for him too, it’s just not like with Spike. My love for Spike I am only touching the tip of the iceburg to describe my love for him. My love for Angel is too hard to describe. I’ve been with him for eight months, Xander. I love him, too." Xander watched Buffy's eyes.

"I just can’t bail out of a relationship that has lasted this long, just because I’m in love with someone else too. It would be different if I didn’t love Angel, but I do. So much. My heart is constantly torn in half when I see them, and it’s killing me to be like this, especially when Spike feels that he can’t be with anyone else, and I have Angel. I hate doing that to him, and I hate being split in half constantly. It’s just too hard for me to choose. I will soon though, don’t worry. I just probably won’t know until I’m telling one of them.”

Xander saw the tears in Buffy’s eyes that were threatening to spill over. He knew that he couldn’t possibly understand her pain, especially when he was in a great relationship himself. “I know, Buff.” He wrapped his arms around her in an embracing hug. “Just try to make it fast.”

Buffy smiled and wiped her eyes. They walked back to the other two and spent the rest of their night talking and laughing.

Buffy's alarm went off signaling the beginning of a new day. She groggily turned over and hit the button silencing the distraction. She slowly pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed.

Then she remembered what had happened the night
before.

She rushed over to her full length mirror and pulled back her long blonde hair. She craned her neck so she
could get a good view of the purplish mark that now
occupied the once clean skin.

Buffy groaned loudly at the sight. The hickey was about as big around as when she put her index finger and thumb together to form a circle.

She quickly dug out some clothes that complemented her green eyes and left her hair cascade down her back after brushing through it. She silently snuck across the hall into the bathroom and got out her makeup.

She tried for what seemed like ages to cover the evidence of her forbidden passion and failed greatly. She sighed and covered it back with her hair.

She walked down the stairs and quickly grabbed her
books when she heard Angel honk from outside. She
looked at the clock, not realizing she had taken that
long in the bathroom.

She stood in front of the door and paused before greeting the sunshine. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning the knob.

'May the 'powers that be' help me today, she silently prayed.

She slowly opened the door to be greeted by Angel
standing in front of her. “Hey, Cutie. I didn't think that you were coming,” was his greeting.

Buffy scowled. “I was only a few seconds after you honked.” She realized just how much Angel seemed to be uptight about things. Spike was never like this unless his most prized possession was being kept from him.

Buffy couldn't help but smile at the thought of her belonging to Spike. Her mind flashed back to him holding her around the waist and kissing her breathless.

“Hey, Buff. What's with you this morning? You look
really happy. Your eyes are twinkling.” He added with
a smile as he walked down the path with his arm around her shoulder.

Buffy stared at him. He saw the sparkle too, only he
was oblivious to the reason why. She kept silent and
battled the thoughts of Spike that kept trying to enter her mind.

She climbed into the car and started a long conversation with Angel about some of the teachers. She would talk about anything to keep her mind off of the handsome blonde with deep blue eyes that you could swim in.

She shook her head and tried to listen more intently to his words that seemed to come out of his mouth but without any meaning. The ride to school was the longest one Buffy could ever remember.

-----------------------------------------

Buffy rushed into the school building, desperate to
find Willow and tell her what had happened. She turned the corner and almost ran into Willow.

“Hey, Buffy. Where's the fire?” she asked in a laugh.
Buffy regained her balance and grabbed her friend's
shoulders as she panted for breath.

“Willow...last night...” she rasped out. Willow just laughed at her with a knowing smile.

“Buffy,” she said in a laugh. “Xander told me everything. Spike gave him a fuller story, and it was
passed back to me.”

Buffy stared at her blankly as Willow continued to laugh. “It sounds like a lot of fun,” she said quieter and in a more serious tone.

A smile stole over the features of Buffy's face. “It was,” she said slowly. “I can't wait to see him.”

Willow frowned at her. “Just be careful around Angel.
I'll see you after class,” she called out as she went down the hall in the opposite direction with Xander now at her side.

-------------------------------------

Mrs. Jenkins was giving a speech on the importance of classical plays such as Julius Shakespeare's. All of the students' eyes were glazed and seemed out of
focus.

Buffy stared at a mark on the wall ahead of her, and her mind came to Spike. She slowly remembered the passionate scene, careful not to leave out any details. She smiled and her breathing became labored as the scene in her head reached its climax.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Angel's face came
flashing into her mind. She thought back to times when
things were much simpler.

Angel and her had been walking around the town and were at the pier when Angel had joked about throwing her in. They laughed as Buffy wrapped her arms securely around Angel's neck, and pulled herself into him to ensure her safety on dry land.

They stayed and talked for a long time about the future and what they each wanted with their lives. They started to leave when Buffy's foot had slipped, and she fell into the cold water beside her. Angel quickly lifted her out, and they shared another laugh together before heading home to change into dry clothes.

Buffy scowled, and she missed the times like those.
She wanted so badly to have the old Angel, but in her
thoughts, she realized that he was gone.

That was Angel when he wasn't himself fully around her so that she would think he was everything she needed. Now, he was himself, and the old him was lost forever around her.

Spike was himself when he was always around her,
because they had been friends since they were both
kids. She realized that this was the real Spike, and
that he would never change drastically on her, and she
could never fall out of love with him.

The bell rang and students poured out to the courtyard. Buffy barely realized that she was walking
herself to her friends.

“Hey Buffy,” Xander greeted with a perky Willow at his side. He noticed Buffy's distant look on her face as she slowly sat down.

“I don't love him like I thought I did. I have to be with Spike.”