Chapter 1: Normal

“Dawn! Come on down, I’m making pancakes!” Buffy Summers called up the stairs to her sister.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Dawn responded as she raced from the bathroom to her room.

“Xander will be here in fifteen minutes!” Buffy reminded her and went off to start the pancakes. Her boyfriend of two years, Riley Finn, sat at the counter drinking a glass of milk.

“You and pancakes?” Riley teased her and Buffy gave him a mock glare.

“I’ll have you know I don’t even burn them now,” She told him as she beat the mixture together. “I just have to remember not to mix the eggshells in.”

Riley laughed and then glanced at the clock, “Damn, I have to go.” He jumped up and grabbed his briefcase, giving Buffy a kiss.

“Bronze tonight?” She asked him.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Have a good day,” He replied with a grin and walked out the door to his car.

Buffy let the smile fall from her face and grimaced.
“God I’m turning into a housewife,” She muttered and poured the pancake batter on the burner.

“Morning,” Dawn greeted her sister as she walked into the kitchen and sat down.

“Wow, look, I might actually have an edible breakfast,” She commented, “Where’s Riley?”

“He left already,” Buffy told her and paused, biting her lip, “Do you think I’m
housewife-y?”

Dawn shrugged, “Sure.”

Buffy’s eyes widened at her sisters’ words, “You don’t really mean that do you?”

Dawn was about to shrug when she saw her sister’s panicked expression, “No, of course not. I was just teasing you. Hey are those pancakes burning?”

Buffy raced over to the stove and took the almost-burnt pancakes off, putting them onto the plate in front of Dawn.

“When is Xander going to be here?” Dawn asked while she shoved the pancakes into her mouth.

Buffy frowned at her sister’s eating habits. “Soon, I hope. There’s a staff meeting and I really don’t want to be late.”

“Right, staff meeting. And how are you on the staff?” Dawn asked innocently and Buffy glared at her.

“I’m so on the staff. I’m an assistant guidance counselor. I’m hip, I’m young and I can relate to-”

“Buffy, chill. I was just kidding,” Dawn told her sister sympathetically. The doorbell rang and Dawn raced to go get it.

“Hey Xander!” Dawn greeted the brown-haired man cheerfully.

Xander Harris had been Buffy’s friend since she moved to Sunnydale at the age of ten. He, along with Willow Rosenberg, had become best friends instantly. She was still amazed they were as close as they’d been twelve years ago.

“Hey Xand,” Buffy greeted him as she entered the foyer.

“Ready to go?” Xander asked as Dawn went to grab her bag.

“Yeah, let me get my stuff,” Buffy told him and went to grab her nice leather jacket and purse.

“To the Xandermobile!” Xander gestured grandly to his car, making Dawn giggle.

“You didn’t really name the car that did you?” Buffy asked him.

“Hey, I don’t see me insulting Mr. Gordo’s name, do you?” Xander countered.

“Mr. Gordo’s a fine name for a stuffed pig,” Buffy muttered as she climbed into the front seat. “Besides, I was four.”

“No you weren’t,” Dawn sing-songed from the backseat and Buffy turned around to scowl at her sister.

“So we set for Bronzing tonight?” Xander asked.

“Yep,” Buffy replied then lowered her voice, “but, uh, are you sure you want Dawn with us tonight?”

“Yeah, sure, the whole gang,” Xander said with a smile and Dawn gave Buffy a raised eyebrow.

“Okay Dawn, you can come- but no drinking,” Buffy warned her. Dawn huffed but didn’t say anything.

Dawn and Xander were chattering about something, leaving Buffy to her thoughts. Mostly, she was thinking about her mom and how much she missed her. Joyce Summers had died a year before of complications from removing a brain tumor.

The loss had hit both girls hard, though Buffy had struggled a lot with having the added responsibility of being Dawn’s guardian since their dad was MIA. Last year had been rough, with Dawn’s newfound stealing fun and Buffy’s sticky financial situation. But thanks to Riley and her friends, Buffy was able to pay off her debts, get a job and most of all keep Dawn out of trouble.

She was finally in a good place, so what was bugging her? Buffy couldn’t exactly place her finger on it, but for a while something had been missing from her life. Actually, if she was completely honest with herself, she would say the thing that was missing was passion. Not that she and Riley weren’t good. Everything was nice and safe. But that was the problem, she realized, it was just that… nice.

“Buff? We’re here?” Xander’s voice broke through her musings and she quickly exited the car.

“Thanks Xand, I’ll see you later,” She told him as she shut the door. Xander gave a wave before driving off.

“Remember,” Dawn said under her breath as she walked passed Buffy, “You don’t know me.”

“Of course,” Buffy nodded then looked at her watch, “Crap! I’m late!”

**********************************

Buffy walked into the Bronze with Dawn and surveyed the crowd, trying to find her friends. It was Friday night, and, of course, extremely crowded.

“I think I see them,” Dawn said and waved at a spot near the wall, “Come on.”

It really bugged her that her sister was taller than her.

They managed to duck through the masses and find Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara all sitting at a table.

“Wow, I’m impressed. How’d you secure an actual table?” Buffy asked.

“There was a little fight, no big,” Xander joked and motioned to the chairs, “Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.”

“A fruity thing,” Buffy told him and Dawn requested a coke.

“Where’s Riley?” Willow asked, tucking a stray strand of her red hair behind her ear.

“He said he’d be here. I kind of thought he’d already be sitting with you guys,” Buffy answered.

“Hey Tara,” Buffy greeted Willow’s friend. Tara McClay was quiet, but really sweet.

Tara gave Buffy a smile, “Hi, how are you?”

Buffy shrugged, “Good, busy day though, you?” Buffy leaned in closer to hear over the noise.

“I’m good, the sh-shop was busy,” Tara responded.

Tara and Anya, along with Rupert Giles, or Giles as they all called him, worked at the Magic Box. The store carried a variety of magic related items and books. It was a pretty cool place, and ever since Giles and Anya had co-bought the place, the gang had hung out there frequently.

“Hey, look who I found,” Xander said as he returned with their drinks. Riley stood behind him and gave everyone a wave, “Man it’s busy here.”

“No kidding,” Buffy responded as Riley gave her a kiss.

“You look nice today,” He said. Buffy glanced down at her outfit: black pants, red blouse and boots. Her hair had been straightened and she wore light makeup.

“Thanks,” She replied giving him a smile.

Just then a teenage boy approached their table nervously and Dawn gave him a bright smile, “Hi Scott!”

“Hey Dawn, I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to dance?” He said in a rush. It took Dawn a minute to make out his words, but then she smiled, “Sure!”

She stood up when Buffy pulled on her arm and gave her a look. Dawn pouted, “Please, it’s just one dance.”

Buffy consider it for a moment then relented, “Fine. But after this song, get back here.”

Dawn jumped up and followed Scott onto the dance floor.

“Weird to see Dawnie dancing with a boy,” Willow commented watching the teen go, “It seems like just last week she playing with her Barbie dolls. God that makes me feel old.”

Tara giggled at Willow’s pout and Buffy cracked a smile.

“She’s still just as annoying though,” Buffy reminded her.

The group chatted for a few minutes about their day and tomorrow’s shopping expedition. Buffy was in desperate need for a new pair of shoes, and Willow wanted to check out the new occult shop near the mall.

“For business purposes only,” Willow added after she earned a look from Anya.

Dawn returned from her dance, radiating happiness with flushed cheeks and bright eyes. She begged Buffy to let her go on a date with Scott the next day and Buffy agreed only because she hadn’t seen Dawn look that excited since before her mom died.

“You’re really okay with Dawn going on a date?” Riley asked, lowering his voice so only Buffy could hear.

Buffy gave a half shrug, “Not really, but she looks so happy. Besides, I plan on giving him a full interrogation.”

“That’s my girl,” Riley chuckled and leaned forward to kiss her. His comment stirred something in her, and she turned so he only caught her cheek. She ignored the hurt look on his face and turned to Anya and Xander who were whispering.

“Hey, watcha talking about?” Buffy asked.

“Well,” Xander began and stood up, “I- no, we have an announcement to make.”

Anya looked up at him in surprise and stood up as well, “Now?”

He looked at her with pure adoration, “It’s the perfect moment.” Anya grinned and held his hand, while Xander addressed the group.
“Anya and I are engaged.”

There was a moment of silence and then Dawn squealed and jumped up to hug the newly engaged couple. “Oh my god you guys! This is so awesome!”

Then Buffy overcame her shock and stood up to hug the couple as well, “My god, I can’t believe it!” She hugged Xander extra long and whispered in his ear, “You guys are made for each other. I’m so happy.”

Xander squeezed her tight in recognition of her words.
Willow finally snapped out of her own shock and hugged both Anya and Xander tightly.

Tara and Riley, who were not as close as the rest of them, smiled and congratulated the couple as well.

“We’re having a May wedding and I need everyone’s help in organizing this. There’s so much to do!” Anya said giddily.

“That soon?” Buffy asked with a frown. That was less than five months away.

“We’ve already been going out for four years and we’ve been secretly engaged for a few months now,” Anya informed her.

“Secretly engaged?” Buffy asked with a pointed look at Xander, who blushed.

“According to Xander, it wasn’t ‘the right time’ or some nonsense like that,” Anya said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“I’m just looking forward to our high school group to be back together,” Xander said thoughtfully and Willow nodded, “I miss Fred and Wes.”

“Who?” Tara asked quietly with a confused expression and Willow gave her an apologetic grin, “Sorry, I forgot you haven’t met them. They’re some friends of ours from high school. They live in LA and work with Angel and Cordy.” Tara nodded as she recognized those names.

Riley wrapped an arm around Buffy, “So who was the whole group from Sunnydale High again?” Buffy winced at Riley’s jealous undertones at the mention of Angel’s name. He knew Angel had been her first boyfriend and Buffy had led him to believe he’d been the first guy she’d had sex with. Thank god no one knew the truth.

“Oh,” Xander began, completely ignoring Riley’s sarcasm, “There was me, Willow, Buffster, Gunn, Wesley, Fred, Lorne, Angel, Cordy, Anya,” He paused to give his fiancé a kiss on her nose, “Oz and Spike.”

“Spike? Who’s that?” Riley asked Buffy.

“Nobody,” Buffy said quickly and suppressed the weird feeling in her gut at his name.

“Come on Buffy, he’s not that bad,” Willow said with a little smirk.

Dawn, who had been looking around for Scott, piped up, “Spike and Buffy always fought. It’s like you put them in a room full of people and somehow they would find each other and attempt to tear each other’s throats out.”

Buffy could feel a blush working its way up her face, “We weren’t that bad.”

Willow sighed, “Oh sweetie, need I bring up the ‘Ice Cream Incident’?”

Buffy shook her head adamantly, “No, don’t you ever tell anyone about that!”

Dawn smirked, “I know!”

Buffy whipped her head to her sister, “How do you know?”

“I was there Buffy,” Dawn told her in a ‘duh’ tone of voice, “You ‘accidentally’ hit me with a glob of cookie dough ice cream.”

Riley raised his eyebrows, “Sounds like I missed a party.”
Buffy groaned, “I was grounded for a month after that. Please no more talk! I’m begging you, Wills!”

Willow held her hands up in surrender as everyone else snickered at Buffy’s mortification, “Fine, no more!” The redhead agreed.

“Still,” Xander said, bring them back to the original topic, “It’ll be good to see everyone again.”

Yeah, Buffy thought, just peachy.

With Spike Giles around, who knew what would happen.

praises, constructive criticisms and any ideas are great!

Chapter 2: Sunnyhell

Six weeks after Xander and Anya’s startling engagement, Anya had dived into the wedding plans, taking Buffy and Willow with her.

“What about these dresses?” Anya asked, pointing to hideously ugly pink princess gowns in the magazine on the table.

Willow glanced at Buffy, “Well maybe something less…” She trailed off.

“Frilly,” Buffy jumped in, “Bridesmaids should wear something simple so everyone’s looking at the bride,” Buffy informed her.

“Oh, that’s me!” Anya said cheerfully, “I’m a bride!”

Dawn, who had been working on her math, suggested Anya should have a black and white wedding.

“I thought about that, but it didn’t seem festive enough.”
Anya perused through the bridal magazine once more and pointed to some equally hideous orange taffeta dresses, “Oh aren’t these great?”

Buffy, Dawn and Willow could barely contain their horror. “Maybe you should look for something more…darker and less prom-y,” Buffy suggested meekly.

Anya looked confused, “What’s wrong with these?” She pointed to the various dresses Willow and Buffy had been rejecting.

“Nothing it’s just,” Buffy paused, “Never mind. It’s your wedding, go ahead.”

Willow leaned towards Buffy. “If I get stuck in something radioactive, I’m killing you, best friend or no,” Willow whispered.

Buffy winced; she didn’t really want to be radioactive girl either.

“Oh! How about candy apple green?” Anya queried gleefully.

********************************

“I can’t believe your ass is going to be in that!” Faith Evans, Buffy’s friend and co-worker, hooted at the picture of Anya’s latest bridesmaid dress.

Buffy rolled her eyes, yanking the picture out of Faith’s hands. “It’s not official yet.”

The pair was walking towards the nearest food establishment during their lunch hour and Buffy had reluctantly showed Faith her dress.

Faith, a beautiful, curvy brunette, had gone to Sunnydale with Buffy and her friends, but hadn’t really hung out with them. She had been closer to Spike than any of them. During the summer after graduation, Faith went to jail for a few months for robbing a local store. After she was released, she changed her ways and became a helper at Sunnydale High for troubled students.

Despite their rocky start, Buffy and Faith were able to begin to get along and now had progressed to friends. Though they still clashed, Buffy had come to respect Faith’s outspoken advice and her ability to put the truth out there even when it hurt.

Like now.

“Anya’s gotta be crazy to think anyone wants to wear a dress like that,” Faith said with another shudder at the picture.

Buffy shrugged, “It’s her wedding.” Buffy had given up on subtly influencing Anya’s decision and tried to remember it was just one day, just one dress; it was the marriage that was important.

Faith shook her head, “Seriously, that girl is wack.”

“Well, at least I’ll see everyone from high school. Even Oz is coming from Tibet,” Buffy said positively.

“Really? Red tweaking?” Faith asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Buffy didn’t answer until they were inside the small pub. Immediately, Faith scoped out the guys and winked at the cuties. Buffy rolled her eyes at Faith’s antics.

“I don’t know,” Buffy finally said as she and Faith sat down. “I mean, Wills knows he’s coming, so no surprises there. And…I think she’s really over him.”

Faith laughed, “She better be if she’s gonna be macking on girls now!”

Buffy stared, dumb-struck at Faith, who called over a waiter and ordered a beer and a cheeseburger.

“B, what you want?” Faith asked.

“Uh,” Buffy shook herself out of her stupor, “water and a Caesar salad.” As soon as the waiter left, Buffy grabbed Faith’s arm.

“What are you talking about!?” The blonde exclaimed. Faith gave Buffy a ‘duh’ look. “Willow. Tara. Come on, you don’t see it? Little Red Riding Hood ain’t driving a stick anymore,” Faith explained slowly.

Buffy sat there in confusion. Her mind replayed all the times she’d seen Willow and Tara together. Slowly, her mind picked out all the little gestures she’d never really thought much of: a peck on the cheek here, a bit of hand-holding there… and the way they smiled at each other a lot. They were like two people in love.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe I never noticed! I can’t believe Wills didn’t tell me!” Buffy exclaimed, feeling hurt. Her best friend couldn’t trust her enough to tell her that she was in love.

Faith gave her a sympathetic look, “Sorry B, I thought she told you.”

The waiter came back with their food and Faith eagerly dug into her burger while Buffy just stared at her salad.

Faith, noticing Buffy’s hurt look, added, “It’s not like she didn’t want to tell you. She’s probably trying to get used to it herself.”

The blonde sighed, “Maybe. I just don’t get why she couldn’t have at least, you know, expressed the possibility.”

Faith was at a loss, “I don’t know B, but maybe you should ask her about it.”

They were silent for a moment and Buffy began eating her salad.

“So,” Faith asked, breaking the silence, “Is Spike going to be there for the wedding? Man, I haven’t seen Billy in ages.”

Buffy promptly choked on a piece of lettuce, coughing uncontrollably. Faith slapped her on the back a few times and handed Buffy her water. She took it gratefully, taking big gulps.

“Why do you ask?” Buffy recovered, trying to sound nonchalant.

Faith gave her a puzzled look, “Just wondering.”

Buffy swallowed, “Well I guess he is. I mean, he’s a friend of Xander and Anya’s.”

Faith leaned forward and inspected Buffy’s flushed cheeks and shifty eyes, “You guys do the nasty or something?”

Buffy’s eyes bugged out, “Who? Me and Spike!” She let out a high-pitched laugh, “We hate each other Faith, remember?” God, Buffy thought, I’m the worst liar.

Faith nodded slowly as if she wasn’t sure whether to believe Buffy or not, “Yeah. Right. Guess we’ll see him at the wedding.”

“Right,” Buffy confirmed, avoiding looking at Faith directly, “At the wedding.”

I really hope not, Buffy mentally added.

************************

Spike Giles sped along the barren road, radio blasting as he sang along with it. He took a huge swallow of liquor.

He was heading back to Sunnydale after four years. He’d left after graduation to attend Columbia University, stayed in New York and now Spike was finally making it somewhere. He’d published his book which had been a success. He had a close group of friends in New York, but here he was, headed back to Sunnyhell to promote his book.

His uncle, Rupert Giles, had called asking Spike to set up a book signing at the Magic Box. Though Spike had to admit, he would like to see his friends from high school again, with the exception of his ex-girlfriend, Drusilla. And, a little voice in his head reminded him, he really wanted to see a certain little blonde.

Bugger it, he thought, as he pressed down on the gas pedal, swerving slightly in his intoxicated state.

The ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign loomed ahead and Spike couldn’t resist. He grinned and drove straight over the sign, feeling the satisfying crack of the board snapping beneath his wheels.

He jerked the car to a stop and got out, surveying his surroundings. Same old bloody Sunnyhell.

“Well, if it isn’t home sweet home,” Spike drawled. He crushed his cigarette out and gulped down the remaining Jack Daniels.

Yeah, he thought drunkenly, this is going to be fun.

Spike woke in the late afternoon with to the sensation of elephants stomping through his head. He sat up, clutching his head in his hands.

Well, Spike admonished himself, that’s what you get for downing two bottles of alcohol. He staggered out of the hotel bed to his duster on the floor, and fished through the pockets for Advil. He popped two in his mouth and swallowed them dry. Somehow he managed to make it back under the covers, when his cell phone rang obnoxiously loud.

Spike yanked the phone open, “What?”

“Hello Spike, nice to hear you too,” Giles said wryly.

Spike rubbed his head, “Bloody hell, what do you need?”
Giles sighed, “You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

Spike immediately sought out the digital clock and swore at the blurry numbers.

“I’ll be there soon,” Spike promised and hung up without another word.

He quickly shoved his pants and shirt on, not caring they were the same pair from yesterday. He ran a comb through his hair with gel and finally put his beloved black leather duster on, jamming his feet into his boots on the way out the door.

The minute he stepped out into the Californian sun, Spike let out a loud curse. He’d forgotten how little he cared for the sun and had enjoyed the more cloudy days in New York. He walked as quickly as he could to his car despite his hung-over status, and left the hotel parking lot with a loud screech of his tires.

As he drove towards the center of Sunnydale, the first thing he noticed was how little the town had changed from when he’d first moved there almost 9 year ago. As he passed by the Sunnydale Middle School, he found himself remembering the first time he ever met Buffy Summers

Spike still couldn’t believe he had to start his last year before high school at Sunny-bloody-dale Middle School Especially with his ponce of a cousin, Angel.

They were walking to the school with some mate of Angel’s, Spike was pretty sure he said his name was Gunn. At the moment, Angel and Gunn were talking about the football team.. The school was small, almost as small as Spike’s private school back in London. But as far as he could gather, everything about this town was small.

After his mum died last year, his dad had tried to take care of him, but in his own way of dealing Spike had transformed himself from geeky William into the new school bad boy. His dad finally gave up trying to raise him and had now decided to send Spike to Sunnydale to live with his Uncle Rupert, his wife Jenny and their son Angel.

As he followed his cousin up the steps , Spike’s eye caught on a petite blonde and redhead walking towards them.

The redhead waved cheerfully, “Hi Gunn, hi Angel! Ready for our first day back?”

Gunn laughed, “I know you are. I’m just happy we’re not seventh graders anymore. We rule the school now.”

Spike watched as the blonde girl smiled sweetly at Angel, thrusting her chest out, her eyes hopeful, “Hi Angel.”

Spike rolled his eyes at the cute blonde’s attempts; she was obviously smitten with Peaches. However Angel just gave her a quick smile and a mumbled “Hey.”

Spike noticed that both girls were now staring at him, not sure what to say to the new student.

“This is my cousin, Spike. Spike, this is Willow and Buffy,” Angel gestured to the redhead first then the blonde.

“Hello cuties,” Spike leered and both girls were taken back by his words.

“He’s from England,” Angel said quickly, as if that was an excuse for his behavior

“Riiiight,” the blonde, Buffy, drawled, “You’re here permanently?” Spike’s eyes narrowed as he stared down at Buffy. Her tone of voice suggested something other than feigned interest.

“Yeah, I am. Buffy,” he sneered as he said her name.

Buffy straightened, glaring at him, “Did you just make fun of my name, Spike?” She asked, accenting his name as he’d done to hers.

“Well at least mine’s a nickname. Your mum really hate you that much?” He shot back.

Buffy’s eyes widened, “Excuse me bleach boy? How’d you get your name? Your stupid hair?”

The others watched on silently, not wanting to get in the middle of the heated argument.

Spike smirked and lowered his voice, “I don’t know if I should tell you how I got my nickname, with your virgin ears and all. But if you think you can handle it...”

Buffy gasped at his audacity. The way he was talking could not be legal. He was fourteen! She’d eat Mr. Gordo if that idiot had ever had sex.

Instead of saying anything, Buffy spun on her heel and stalked off, head high, Willow chasing after her.

“Man! You pissed Buffy Summers off,” Gunn winced, “That’s not a good thing.”

“Yeah, well she was askin’ for it,” Spike retorted, still looking in the direction the girls had walked to.

Angel just rolled his eyes, “Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

Spike nodded and followed his cousin into school, but he couldn’t help but think of that blonde and the way her emerald eyes flashed when she was angry.


Spike shook himself out of his reminiscence. He should have known that their first time meeting would dictate how they would always behave around each other. They constantly clashed, from music to studying techniques to favorite foods; they always found a fault to pick at.

Most of the time their arguments were fleeting and pointless and, in Spike’s opinion, it was part of what made them friends. If they weren’t bickering, then something was obviously wrong.

Shortly after their first meeting, Spike found out that the one and only Buffy Summers lived four houses down from the Giles’. Later that day he’d walked down the street to see her sitting on her porch painting her toenails.

After a few minutes of snarking, Spike found out they had a common interest in martial arts and she grudgingly offered to show him the local gym. Somehow over the next year, between Tae Kwon Do class and the sharing of mutual friends, the pair had become reluctant friends.

Until high school at least, Spike reminded himself as he parked along the street near the Magic Box. He opened the shop door, the bell ringing to announce his presence, and saw Anya sitting at the counter.

“Hi, welcome to the Magic Box. Can I-Spike!” Anya squealed and jumped up to hug him tightly.

“You’re here!” She said cheerfully, “And early!”

Spike returned her hug, “You work here with Rupes?” He frowned, “Wait, early?”

“For the wedding silly!” Anya explained, “Now I won’t have to send you an invite.”

“Hey, you and the whelp are getting married?” Spike asked disbelievingly and Anya nodded happily, thrusting her ring into his face.

At the sound of a commotion, Giles exited the back office and saw his nephew standing there with Anya. Spike looked the same as he remembered, with his bleached hair and black outfit. His face was thinner though.

“Spike, I’m glad you’re here. Now, where were you thinking of your setup being?” Giles asked, getting down to business.

“What, no hug?” Spike teased his uncle and Anya looked between the two.

“What setup?” She asked suspiciously.

“My book signing thing,” Spike explained, then turned to inspect the place, “Somewhere near the front, but not right by the door. Don’t want to seem desperate.”

Now Anya looked angry, hands planted on her hips, “Excuse me? When was anyone going to say anything about a book signing? Giles, we both own this place! You can’t just organize something without telling me!”

Giles rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath before talking louder, “Anya, it’s just Spike’s book, not someone you don’t know,” he explained “and it wasn’t exactly planned. I just thought of it a week ago.”

“Fine,” Anya huffed, “But I’m letting this go only because Spike’s my friend and I liked his book.”
Spike smirked; he’d forgotten how fun Anya could be, “Thanks pet.”

The door opened and the three turned to see Tara and Willow walk in. Willow spotted Spike standing there and grinned wide, “Spike!”

“Hey Red,” Spike greeted as the redhead walked up to him and gave him a hug.

“Long time no see. How’s New York?” She asked eagerly.

“Good. Lot better than SunnyD,” Spike teased and Willow swatted him playfully.

Then Willow remembered her friend standing behind her.

“Oh! Spike this is Tara, Tara this is Spike,” Willow introduced them and they shook hands.

“N-nice to meet you,” Tara said softly with a smile and Spike nodded, “Same, luv.”

“So, where’s everyone?” Spike asked, trying to quell the wanting to know where Buffy was.

“Buffy and Dawn are at the high school- Buffy works there now, and Xander’s at his worksite,” Willow ticked off with her fingers.

“He’s a developer,” Anya added proudly.

“And,” Willow continued, “You know Angel, Gunn, Wes, Fred, Lorne and Cordelia are in LA.”

“Right. Was at Peaches and the Cheerleader’s wedding last year,” Spike confirmed. “That was just bloody weird, seeing them two together.”

Willow nodded, “Took us by surprise too. Oh! And do you remember Faith?” Spike nodded, recalling the hot brunette who smoked outside the building with him.

“She was in jail for a few months, but now she works at Sunnydale High. She and Buffy are buds.”

Spike raised an eyebrow; he couldn’t really imagine Buffy and Faith getting along all that well.

“Spike, how about near the tarot cards? Would that be a good place?” Giles asked.

Willow looked around, “A good place for what?”

“Spike’s book signing,” Anya said irritably, “The one Giles didn’t mention to me.”

Willow’s eyes widened, “You’re having a book signing? You’re gonna sign mine first, I loved it! I tried to get Giles to read it but he wouldn’t.”

“Vampire erotica novels just don’t do it for me,” Giles said dryly.

“I really loved ‘Silken Threads of Crimson Roses’,” Tara commented quietly.

“Thanks, I’m working on a sequel, if I can finish it,” Spike confessed. Giles went into the back to retrieve a desk and as soon as he was out of hearing range, Willow gave Spike a pointed look.

“What?” He said defensively.

“You, buster, are so lucky Buffy doesn’t read,” Willow scolded him.

Spike pretended he didn’t know what she was talking about, “What?”

Tara stood by Willow’s side watching them and Anya stood there with her arms crossed, “You didn’t put me in the novel!”

“I didn’t put anyone in the soddin’ novel!” Spike protested.

“Right. So Muffy just happens to sound like Buffy, and Muffy just happens to be a cute short blonde with green eyes who kills the vampires and is conveniently killed after the first three chapters,” Willow said sarcastically.

Spike shrugged, “Yeah, bloody coincidence.”

“I still don’t get why Buffy got to be in your book and not me!” Anya complained, sounding like a disgruntled five year old.

“I didn’t plan to put her in,” Spike admitted, “She was just a good person to base my character off of. I used people I knew to get a good foundation on my characters otherwise they wouldn’t sound real.”

Willow raised her eyebrows at him, “Muffy? Okay, not the best name.”

Spike shrugged again, “It worked. A vampire-killing cheerleader named Muffy.”

Willow shook her head and sighed, “Honestly- you two? I don’t need to bring up ‘The Ice Cream Incident’ do I?”

Spike’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head causing Tara to giggle, remembering their discussion at the Bronze a while ago.

“So what else-“ Willow was interrupted as the door swung open, two feminine voices arguing loudly.

“Why won’t you let me go out with him tonight? You said you liked him!” Dawn accused her sister as they entered the Magic Box after school.

“That was before I saw him stick his tongue down your throat!” Buffy explained her voice shrill. She walked in and then stopped when she saw the person standing with Willow, Tara and Anya.

“It was-oof!” Dawn gasped as she ran into her sister who was staring at the very familiar, startlingly blonde man.

Buffy could feel her heart racing at just the sight of him. Here he was after four years, after that night…

“What are doing here?” She demanded harshly in surprise and not a little fear.

Spike smirked, “Nice to see you too, luv.”

Chapter 4: Awkward

Buffy was having trouble finding her voice.
Seeing Spike was, to put it lightly, unsettling.

She figured at the wedding, she’d be able to avoid him. Easy enough, she’d probably be spending her time keeping Mr. Harris away from the bar. One-on-one time could be avoided. At most they’d only be mingling within a bigger group, where she would be able to get away with a simple ‘Hello, nice to see you.’
Someone up there must really hate her.

Buffy took a deep breath and finally spoke aloud when Giles came out of the back, dragging a wood table with him.

“What’s that for?” Buffy asked, mentally telling herself to just ignore Spike.

“Erm, Spike’s book signing,” Giles explained.

“What book?” Dawn piped up while setting her backpack down. She cast a glance at Spike through her lashes, eyeing him.

His gaze, however, was completely focused on Buffy. Figures, Dawn scoffed silently.

Willow was practically bouncing on her toes, “Spike’s book! Remember Buffy? I showed it to you a few months ago.”

Buffy dimly recalled Willow and Anya making a big deal about a book a while back. The only thing she could remember specifically was the cover, which displayed a picture of a beautiful woman in chains being bitten by a handsome man, shirtless of course.
Leave it to Spike to write kinky porn and pass it off as a novel.

“Interesting cover,” She said, unable to completely hide her disdain.

Dawn, picking up on her sister’s distaste, turned to Spike, “Do you have an extra copy I can read?”

“No!” Buffy responded quickly and pointed a finger at Dawn, “You. Homework. Now.”

Spike tilted his head, a smirk playing on his lips.
“You didn’t like the book?” He questioned Buffy.

“Like I would ever read it!” she scoffed.

Spike shrugged, “Maybe you’d find it…appealing.” He’d intended to sound as innocent as possible, but no luck. Willow not-so-discretely stomped on his foot, causing Spike to let out a cry of pain.

“You bloody woman!” He snarled, shifting his weight to his painless foot.

Willow ignored him, “Giles how many days is the book signing going to be?”

Giles straightened the table into the appropriate spot before answering, “I suppose that’s your decision Spike.”

“And mine!” Anya added as she began dusting the various volumes after she found herself neglecting her store.

Spike was unsure of the answer himself. He’d only done a couple of book signings so far all of which had been prearranged by the bookstores. Most had been for a couple of days at different times. He relayed that information to Giles and Anya who immediately began discussing times.

“Erm, how long are you planning on being here?” Giles asked, realizing he had no idea.

“Hadn’t planned a specific date, but I figured a week or so,” Spike answered, fishing through his duster for his smokes.

Buffy blanched at the announcement. He was going to be here for more than a week? There was no way she could avoid him that long. Knowing her friends there would be many Bronzing nights where they’d be reminiscing about their high school years, including Senior Prom.

Buffy was so lost in her discouraging thoughts she didn’t hear Willow calling her name.

“Buffy!” Willow repeated.

“Huh? Oh, sorry what was that?” Buffy asked with an apologetic look.

Willow studied her friend who deftly avoided her gaze, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said brightly, trying to cover up her discomfort.

“Did you get my messages? I called last night but you weren’t there.”

Truth was since Faith’s revelation the day before Buffy had purposefully not picked up the phone and ignored Willow’s messages.

“Sorry. Must have missed them,” Buffy lied, finding it hard to meet her friend’s eyes.

“Oh,” Willow frowned at Buffy’s shifty behavior, but didn’t call her on it.

“Anyway, we were planning on Bronzing tonight and now with Spike here it’ll be extra special. You’re coming right?” Willow asked.

Buffy hesitated, “I don’t know. I think Riley and I are going to do that couple-y thing tonight. Maybe later.”

“Oh,” Anya said knowingly from behind the register, “Orgasms.”

Buffy blinked, “You had to say that didn’t you?”

“Who’s Riley?” Spike asked, eyes narrowed. Only Dawn seemed to notice his jealousy and resisted the urge to roll her eyes or laugh.

Buffy tilted her chin defiantly, “He’s my-“

The door opened once again to reveal Riley.

“Good lord, are there going to be any customers?” Anya questioned, clearly annoyed.

Riley walked over to Buffy and gave her a possessive hug and kiss. Normally Buffy would pull away slightly, but she really wanted to show Spike that she had a boyfriend, a nice one too. One that wasn’t a jerk and wanted her, Buffy Anne Summers.

“Hey,” Riley said cautious tone of voice as he eyed the bleached man in front of him in.

“’Lo,” Spike replied with a hint of wariness as well.

Buffy swallowed uneasily at the tension already
forming between her boyfriend and her…whatever.

“Riley, this is Spike, Giles’s nephew. Spike, this is my boyfriend Riley,” Buffy introduced the two, who immediately began to size each other up.

Dawn and Anya were watching the exchange with growing interest while Willow cleared her throat and turned to Tara, “Don’t we have that…”

“Lecture,” Tara interjected loudly then added in a quieter voice, “The Wicca lecture. It starts soon we’d hate to be late.”

The pair quickly exited the Magic Box and Buffy pouted, some friends she had.

“Okay,” Buffy spoke, interrupting the silence that seemed to last forever, “We should probably get going. Dawn, do you want to stay here?”

Dawn nodded, “Xander can give me a ride home when he picks up Anya.”

“Okay,” Buffy replied hastily. She probably shouldn’t have let her sister stay, but she really wanted to get out of there as fast as she could.

“Giles, would you make sure Dawn actually works on her homework?” Buffy asked with a look at Dawn, who rolled her eyes.

“I’m seventeen Buffy, I think I know how to do my own homework,” Dawn said slowly, trying to sound mature around Spike.

“Uh huh,” Buffy said sarcastically as she opened the door, “And I’m sure I’ll see that on your next report card.”

Dawn sighed and began working on her math once again.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Buffy said cheerfully, looping her arm through Riley’s, closing the door behind her firmly.

Once out of the Magic Box, Buffy let out a sigh of relief. Now she was nowhere near Spike or Willow and Tara.
“So,” Riley began hesitantly, “That was Spike.”

“Yup,” Buffy said with an edge to her voice, “That was Spike.”

“He seems like an upstanding citizen,” Riley commented, sarcasm evident.

“He’s not bad,” Buffy defended and then wondered why she bothered to protect Spike. Most likely because it was usually her making those kinds of comments, Buffy thought with a slight twinge of guilt. She brushed the thought aside not wanting to dwell on him anymore.

“He’s just...” Buffy fumbled for the right word, “Spike.”

Riley glanced at her, unsure how to respond, “I guess I just have to get to know him better.”

Buffy nodded, but cringed inwardly. Somehow she doubted they really needed to meet again. Ever.

Spike continued to study the door intently even after Buffy and her white bread boyfriend left.

“Okay, you have to lend me your book.”
Spike turned around to see the youngest Summers smiling at him sweetly, verging on flirty, with a mischievous look in her eyes. As flattering as her crush was, Spike would rather it be the eldest of the two who was infatuated with him.

“Sorry Nibblet, if Buffy says no, gotta listen. Pissing her off doesn’t do much good, believe me I’ve tried,” Spike said with a crooked grin.

Dawn tilted her head slightly, her curtain of dark hair falling over her shoulder.

“Huh,” She said, mostly to herself, but Spike heard her.

“What?” He asked, sitting down across from her.

“Nothing,” Dawn replied too quickly, shaking her head for emphasis.

“Not nothing,” Spike shot back, “What?”

“It’s just…” Dawn paused and lowered her voice so Spike had to lean in to hear her, “I don’t know if you have a chance, that’s all.”

Spike, completely shocked, began to sputter, “We-I-not-“

Dawn lightly touched his arm, “Chill. I’m not going to say anything to her.”

Spike nodded, “Right.” It surprised him how observant little Dawn Summers had grown up to be. She’d always struck him as self-centered, a bit more like teenage Buffy actually.

“I mean,” Dawn said with a small laugh, “It’s not like you’re in love with her.”

Spike froze, his heart hammering as the truth was presented in front of him in black and white.
Oh bloody hell, he thought and grimaced. He knew that since that night he’d been attracted to Buffy more than he should have been… but love? It hadn’t even occurred to him until he heard Dawn say those fateful words.

Dawn watched the myriad of emotions that crossed his face and swallowed, “Oh.”

Spike avoided her gaze knowing they were both thinking the same thing.

He was utterly screwed.

Chapter 5: Avoidance is the Best Thing

Buffy had now avoided her friends for three full days. Instead she had focused her energy on work, Riley and Dawn.

Currently she and Dawn were sitting on the couch munching on popcorn with the TV on some random channel. Truthfully, Buffy felt a little guilty for neglecting Dawn lately and promised her sister to make up for it. But now Dawn was talking about going on her date.

“Wait, I thought we were going to do the sister thing tonight?” Buffy pouted slightly.

Dawn gave her a sympathetic look, “I know, but I told you Scott and I had a date tonight.”

Buffy winced at the mention of Dawn’s boyfriend. She brushed some popcorn off her lap, a scowl on her face.

“Isn’t that Mr. Stick-My-Tongue-Down-Your-Throat?” Buffy accused.

“We were just kissing!” Dawn exclaimed. “Besides, you said I could go as long as I came straight inside after he dropped me off.”

Buffy sighed, but agreed. She shouldn’t limit Dawn’s social life because she was avoiding her own. It was selfish and wrong.

“Are you sure you have to go tonight?” Buffy asked hopefully. “I could get us some gummy worms.”

Dawn kissed her sister on the cheek and grabbed her purse, “Sorry. We’ll do the sister thing tomorrow okay?”

Buffy nodded, dejected, “Just be back by ten!”

Dawn yelled her agreement as she ran out the door, leaving Buffy all by her lonesome.

Buffy contemplated calling Faith and doing something before Dawn came home, but knowing Faith, Miss Party Girl extraordinaire, she wouldn’t be home until late.

Buffy reached into the bowl for another handful of popcorn-y goodness, but her hand came up empty.

“Pooey,” Buffy muttered and went to make another bag. If it was going to be a mopefest she might as well have provisions.

Riley was out with his friends, a guy’s night thing and Buffy definitely wasn’t intruding on that. only other option was to go to the Bronze with her friends. And Spike.

Buffy made a face, no way was she doing that tonight. The past couple of days had given Buffy a chance to really think about things. With Willow and Tara, Buffy knew she’d confront them soon enough or Willow would confess to her. Either way, they’d be talking in a little while.

Spike on the other hand, was a little bit different. Part of Buffy was telling her to grow up, it’d been four years now and both of them had moved on. The other part of her was screaming ‘Avoid! Avoid!’.

Spike wasn’t exactly known for his ability to keep his mouth shut. So, avoid Spike while he was here and she’d be good, but avoiding Spike was childish, she knew that.

Buffy sighed and pulled out the popcorn and dumped it into the bowl.

Maybe this was their opportunity to get some closure before the wedding, her optimistic side suggested. And closure was definitely needed.

The doorbell rang startling Buffy out of her musings and she opened the door, expecting Dawn to be standing there because she forgot something.

“Willow!” Buffy squeaked in surprise at the sight of the redhead on her porch.

“Hey Buffy,” Willow replied, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

“Yo B!” Faith called as she ascended the porch steps.

Buffy frowned and looked at the two of them, “You came here together?”

Willow nodded, not meeting her gaze, “Can we come in?”

Buffy nodded, opening the door for the two. Faith shrugged off her leather jacket and put her hands on her hips.

“Now, I never do this huggy shit, but this is bugging me. Willow- tell her,” Faith motioned to the redhead who bit her lip.

Buffy felt her stomach flip-flop at the seriousness of Faith’s tone.

Willow seemed to hesitate for a moment before opening her mouth and confessing.
“Buffy I’m sorry! I meant to tell you but I wasn’t sure how. We’ve been friends for so long and I thought you would be weirded out if I told you Tara and I are-you know- more than just friends.” Willow explained in a rush, her face flushed.

Buffy gaped at her best friend, “Willow! I would never do that. I love you and just because you have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend doesn’t change anything. I was just hurt you weren’t going to tell me.”

Willow let out a weak laugh, “And I was worried you didn’t want to know.”

The pair stared at each other for second before Willow enveloped Buffy in a tight hug. Buffy sniffled, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“See,” Faith’s voice was loud in the silence, “This is why I don’t do this. It gets all emotional and girly.”

“Faith,” Buffy said with a smirk, “You are a girl.”

“Not when it comes to this kind of wimpy bullshit,” Faith defended herself. Buffy knew that Faith’s teasing was just her way of dealing with the awkwardness of the emotional moment.

“Come on, let’s do something celebratory. Bronze?” Willow asked with a wide smile.

Buffy, feeling lighter than she had the last couple of days, agreed and headed upstairs to get dressed.
She could do this, Buffy told herself firmly. If Spike was there she’d deal and maybe she’d even be… nice.

Spike stared into his empty glass wondering if Buffy was coming to the Bronze tonight. Since his revelation, he hadn’t seen Buffy anywhere. In fact no one had, which was why Willow was going over to Buffy’s house with Faith of all people. Spike sighed, fingering the rim of the glass lightly.

He loved her.

A part of his mind still boggled at the thought and the other part had known it all along. He loved her. And god did he want her. In more than just a one-night shag type of way. He wanted her in the full sense. No more bullshitting around, Spike told himself resolutely, he’d turned a new leaf and was determined to prove it to Buffy.

Buffy made it as far just outside the Bronze before her nerves returned. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t ready to face Spike. But right now she had no choice.

The three women paid the coverage and entered, Buffy lagging behind. She smoothed her swishy black skirt and fiddled with a piece of her curled hair as Willow and Faith searched the masses for Spike and Tara. Anya and Xander, Willow had informed her, were in LA shopping for various wedding needs Anya was convinced couldn’t be found in small town Sunnydale.

“Oh, I see them!” Willow shouted over the loud noise and led Faith and Buffy towards the back of the building where it was marginally quieter.

Spike saw Willow coming towards him and Tara, beaming.

“Hey baby,” Willow said and squeezed her official girlfriend’s hand.

Spike watched with interest. He never pegged Willow falling in love with a woman, but seeing them together, openly affectionate, made him see how perfect they were for each other.

Then he glanced up in surprise as Buffy slowly approached the table with a smile at Tara who sweetly smiled back. Then her eyes shifted to him for a brief moment before glancing down.

“Hello Buffy,” Spike greeted her and she gave him a suspicious look. Suddenly in a blur of dark chocolate hair and leather, Faith had tugged Spike on to the dance floor and begun moving sensuously.

“Hey Billy, long time no see. Whatcha been up to?”

Faith asked while grinding her backside into him.

Spike smirked, “Not much. Heard you got busted by the coppers.”

Faith turned around again, “Not so much fun. But in case you haven’t heard, I’m all reformed now. Doing the good girl shit.”

Spike laughed and threw a quick glance at Buffy sitting at the table. She was staring at them, her lips pressed together with an unreadable expression. If Spike hadn’t known Buffy, he would have almost defined it as jealousy.

Buffy watched as Faith and Spike danced so close together, seething. She mentally berated herself- why should she be mad? She had no claim what so ever on Spike, he was welcome to dance with anyone he wanted. She had Riley, her nice, sweet boyfriend. That was all she needed.

“Faith never was one for inhibitions,” Willow commented with a shake of her head.

“No, she isn’t,” Buffy replied continuing to watch them dance.

“Are they…?” Tara asked, her meaning clear.

“No,” Willow said emphatically, “Just good friends, I think. They’re a lot alike.”

The song ended and Spike returned to his seat while Faith went off to find a new dance partner.

Spike shook his head while lighting a smoke, “Bloody hell that woman is vicious.”

“Hey,” Willow said with a laugh, “No objections here.”

“So damn forceful,” Spike muttered then turned his attention to Buffy who was sitting there completely silent.

“How’ve you been, Summers?” Spike asked lightly.

“Fine,” Buffy answered shortly, still smarting over the dance she’d witnessed. Remember getting closure, she reminded herself, that requires being civil.

“I’ve been pretty good,” Buffy added, “How about you?”

A look of surprise flashed across Spike’s face. “I’ve been good, writing mostly. You still do all that martial arts?” Spike asked, a challenge present in his voice that Buffy immediately reacted to, forgetting all about being civil.

“Of course,” She scoffed, “What about you?”

“Bloody right I have. I could wipe the floor with your arse,” Spike taunted, easily settling into their routine.

Buffy rolled her eyes, “As if! You never could be beat me in high school, you’re never gonna now.”

“You wish,” Spike snapped, leaning forward to meet her eyes.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “I know,” she corrected him.

“Prove it,” Spike said, suddenly straightening.

“Huh?” Buffy asked stupidly, not following his train of thought.

“Prove. It. Meet me at the old gym tomorrow,” Spike declared.

“Deal,” Buffy agreed.

Tara and Willow watched the blondes' stare down each other and Willow felt like she was being transported back to high school.

“You’re not really going to actually fight are you?” Willow asked nervously.

Buffy’s eyes glittered defiantly, “You bet your ass we are.”

“Damn right,” Spike conceded, “Betty here doesn’t stand a chance.”

Buffy angrily stood up, almost knocking her chair over, and stalked out the door. After a split second, Spike chased after her, cursing himself.

“Stupid soddin’ idiot. You’re not trying to piss her off!,”
Spike muttered as he exited the Bronze, into the refreshing cool air.

“Buffy!” He called at her retreating figure.

Buffy stopped at the sound of Spike’s voice. “What?” She snapped.

Spike jogged to her side, “Sorry luv, got carried away. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Don’t call me ‘luv’,” Buffy replied automatically then added, “Besides, I want to.”

She gave him a grin that made his heart skip a beat, “Kicking your ass is way too much fun.” Spike relaxed as the anger radiating from her diminished.

He grinned back at her, “So is kicking yours.”

The two walked in silence for a moment before Buffy spoke, “You can go back you know.”

“I was going to tell you the same thing,” Spike admitted.

Buffy looked back at the Bronze and shrugged, “I think I’m going to head home anyway. Dawn’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll walk you,” Spike replied, shoving his hands in his duster. Buffy opened her mouth to object but instead found herself nodding in agreement.

They headed in the general direction of her house, cutting through the playground.

Spike laughed causing Buffy to look at him.
“Remember when I dared you to jump off the big elm tree and you broke your arm?”

Buffy glared at him, “Yes. I was so mad at you. My mom grounded me for weeks, said I was too old to be doing stupid dares.”

Spike unexpectedly stopped, “Where is your mum?”

The million-dollar question, Buffy thought. Her throat tightened and she looked away. “She, um, died last year.”

Spike felt a rush of sympathy for her, “I’m sorry, lu-Buffy. Honest.”

“Thanks,” She said quietly, his comment made her remember Spike had lost his mom. They made the rest of the way to Buffy’s house in silence, but not the painfully awkward kind. It was the good kind that Buffy liked. It didn’t have to be filled like the silences between Riley and her.

They stood on the porch, unsure of what to say. Spike eyed the house nostalgically; 1630 Revello Drive looked exactly the same, right down to the rickety porch swing and potted plant by the door.

“Well,” Buffy began, “Night.”

Spike nodded, “Night then.” The hush between them was now growing uneasy, as if there was something they both wanted to say, but couldn’t form the words to do so.

“So, ten tomorrow?” Spike said loudly trying to alleviate the discomfort.

“Yep,” Buffy said quickly then smirked, “Be prepared to kiss the floor.”

“In your dreams blondie,” Spike shot back, a smirk on his own lips.

“Blondie? Look at your hair!” Buffy snorted, rolling her eyes. They paused; eyes meeting and Buffy felt a flush work its way up her neck at his forceful stare.

Buffy let out a tiny nervous laugh, “Spike what are you stare-“

Her question was cut off as Spike’s lips descended on hers.

Chapter 6: Closure

Spike lips! Lips of Spike! Buffy’s mind screamed as said lips coaxed her own and his tongue swept against her bottom lip.

“Mmph!” She called out, her voice muffled. It had all happened so fast her head was spinning.

One minute they were insulting each other’s hair and the next he was laying a kiss on her that would knock any sensible girl’s socks off. Except she wasn’t any girl, she was a girl currently in a relationship, a serious one at that, and this was Spike who was kissing her! Spike!

That knowledge jarred her out of confusion and placed her firmly back into reality. Buffy pushed him off, her lips tingling at the loss of Spike’s.

“What the hell was that?” She demanded wiping any traces of Spike spit from her mouth.

Spike was having a little trouble adjusting to the sudden change.

“A kiss,” He paused and stepped closer, tilting his head, “I though it was kind of obvious.”

His voice was low and sultry, sending an involuntary shiver down her spine.

“You can’t just-You! Ugh!” She sputtered, all the sensations running through her body and Spike’s mind-boggling intentions rendering her speechless.
She let out a growl of frustration. “What gives you the right to just grab me and kiss me, you…pig!” Buffy practically shouted.

A spark of anger ignited in Spike and he clenched his jaw. Okay, maybe kissing the bint wasn’t the best way to go, he admitted to himself, but how could she not feel the heat between them?

“It’s not like you didn’t know it was coming,” Spike insisted and Buffy stared at him, open mouthed.

Unbelievable! That Stupid, impulsive asshole! The only thing she could think to do was- “Ow! Bloody hell!”- pop him in the nose.

“You just think ‘gee I really want to kiss her’ so you just do it?! Do you not have a brain? Does all the blood just-” Buffy stopped her tirade while Spike stood there clutching his nose.

“Fuck you!” She finished, yanking her door open and slamming it shut after her.

Once safely inside the confines of her room, Buffy slid down her door and held her head in her hands.
How could he do that? Just think he could kiss her and everything would be dandy? Buffy sighed and closed her eyes, the emotional roller coaster making her exhausted.

Just because, okay, they had been getting along, didn’t mean he could grab her and kiss her senseless! No, not senseless! Really! It was a revelation actually.

Spike kissing her brought everything back into focus, back into a crystal-clear image. She needed some form of closure for that night with Spike and he obviously couldn’t handle it the nice way, so she just need to sit him down and explain exactly what she thought.

If only Buffy didn’t feel like running at the very mention of his name right now.

There was a timid knock at the door that made her jump.

“Buffy?” Dawn called, “Is everything okay? I heard yelling and the door slamming…”

Buffy stood up and opened the door, giving her sister a false smile, “Hey, and yeah, everything’s fine. Spike and I just had a little…disagreement.”

Understatement of the millennium, Buffy added silently.

Dawn stared at her sister dubiously, but nodded, “Oh okay.” Her face instantly brightened, “I have to tell you about my date tonight! He was so sweet! First he picked me up and gave me a rose for our first date…”

Buffy halfheartedly listened to her younger sister babble on about her date, smiling and adding an ‘awww!’ in the right places.

She then sent Dawn to her room since it was almost eleven and Dawn was working at the Magic Box in the afternoon the next day to repay for her klepto days last year.

Buffy quickly changed into her silky pajamas and attempted to fall asleep, but by two in the morning, she’d all but given up. Her mind kept replaying the horrendous event outside her house and like looking at a car crash, she couldn’t help but watch.

A tiny voice, one that sounded a lot like Faith, kept asking her if she’d exploded at Spike for kissing her maybe because she was pissed at her own reaction, more specifically, her body’s nerve-tingling reaction.

No, Buffy told herself resolutely, he’d been way out of bounds and despite their effort to establish some kind of friendship, tonight had been a not-so-subtle reminder of why she detested Spike Giles.

*****************************

Buffy woke in the morning with the bright sun filtering through her frilly white curtains.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up, glancing at her clock which read nine am.

Her sleep had been fitful, her mind churning over the previous night’s events. She found herself restless even as she woke, feeling in need of something to do. Her eyes landed on her gym bag and instantly Buffy bounded out of bed, throwing on some jeans and a shirt and putting some extra clothes in her bag. Quietly, so she didn’t disturb Dawn, she went downstairs and left a note for her sister on the kitchen counter.

Buffy found her favorite boots by the door and put them on before heading outside.

******************************

Riley stared at the phone in his hands, debating whether or not to call Buffy.

She’d been so distant lately, he wondered if it was even worth it. She was constantly off somewhere else, if not physically then mentally, even when she was with him. Their conversations were stilted and usually consisted of nothing more than talking about their day. She seemed to think of him like a chore and not as someone to be there for her. He loved her. Riley wondered if she even knew that.

They’d been going out for so long it wasn’t something he thought about or talked about, it was just a fact. But Buffy still hadn’t asked him to move in even though he spent most nights there. With a sigh, he punched in her number, which he knew by heart.

“Hello?” Came Dawn’s groggy voice.

“Hey,” Riley said with a false cheeriness, “Is Buffy there?”

Dawn grumbled, “Hold on” and he could hear the pitter-patter of her feet as she descended the stairs.

“Um, I don’t think she’s here,” Dawn said, and then he heard a chair squeak. “Wait! She left a note; it says she should be back in a couple of hours. You could try her cell,” Dawn suggested.

Yeah, Riley thought, if she even has it with her.

“Thanks,” He said aloud and Dawn mumbled something about going back to sleep, hanging up the phone. Reluctantly Riley dialed Buffy’s cell phone, not surprised to be sent directly to her voice mail.

“Hey Buff, it’s, uh, Riley. Give me a call.”

***************************

Spike tried to calm his nerves as he entered the local gym he used to visit almost everyday.

It’s not like Buffy will actually show, he reminded himself as he asked the lady at the desk for a locker and towel. Buffy’s anger over the kiss the night before had been a glass of cold water in his face. He didn’t know why he’d tried to kiss her in the first place. He knew Buffy Summers, and she was loyal to the grave and also incredibly stubborn.

What had possessed him to actually think the bint would just kiss him back and everything would be hunky-dory? Cue the bleedin’ rising music, he thought sarcastically.

That wasn’t the Buffy Summers way. She made everything impossibly hard, in more ways then one, and then when he finally got to her, she’d pull away. It was classic- after all she’d done it before.

The girl never seemed to know exactly what she wanted and pushing her just made everything a hell of a lot worse.

So he’d play her game. He’d do the flowers and candy thing and even the ‘friends only’ bit. And then he’d have her.

Spike entered the gym and made his way to the back where the mats were set up for lessons and on Sundays, open gym. There he set down his towel and began stretching, observing the few others in the room. He really hadn’t expected to see Buffy there, which was why he stood, rooted in his spot, at the sight of a very familiar head of perky blonde hair.

Buffy was having some one on one time with the punching bag, taking her aggression out on it, when she felt a pair of eyes on her. She spun around, fully intending on making a scathing comment to whatever lunkhead was ogling her but froze when she saw exactly who it was.

“Spike,” She said, her voice squeaking. He was standing by the benches in a wife-beater tee and black sweats looking just as surprised to see her as well.

“I didn’t think you’d show up…” He trailed off, stupefied.

Buffy frowned, placing her hands on her hips, “What are you…oh.” Their impromptu arrangement came rushing back to her and she let out a groan. Why me? She wondered and shut her eyes, hoping she was hallucinating. No such luck.

“Summers, you’re-” He began but she quickly cut him off.

“Save it. I completely forgot,” she dropped her voice, “since you traumatized me with your kissy lips.”
Spike tried not to grin at her utter adorableness and focus on the fact she was glaring daggers at him.

“Listen,” Spike said with a sigh and ran his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was bloody stupid of me but I’d had a few too many drinks and wasn’t thinking.” All right, maybe the drinking part was a bit of an exaggeration.

“Point is, didn’t mean to offend you lu-Summers,” He quickly corrected himself.

There was a silence as Buffy contemplated his words. He seemed sincere enough, Buffy noted.

“You’re right,” she began slowly. “You shouldn’t have been all Mr. Grabby.”

She paused for a moment, gathering her courage. It was now or never, she told herself- just say it!
“What happened between us, that night, on prom night…it was a mistake.”

Spike clenched his jaw at her words, resisting the urge to protest, determined to hear her out.
“We were both vulnerable and you weren’t exactly Joe Sober and I…I needed that…,” Buffy looked away, “…that comfort, I guess. We both did.”

Abruptly she straightened, having collected her thoughts.

“But the past is the past and I want to leave it alone. We both know what happened and that’s all it should be,” She said determinedly, “Something that simply happened.”

Spike managed a nod and met her eyes, “Right.”
Buffy bit her lip, “And Spike? It stays just between us, right?”

Spike knew she wasn’t asking for his permission, she was setting her rules.

“Of course,” He said stiffly.

Buffy shut her eyes and let out the breath she had been holding anxiously. This was it, her closure. Somehow she thought it would be more…pronounced. Possibly accompanied by neon lights.

“So…truce?” Buffy asked hopefully and stuck out her hand. They could have a clean slate and everything would be okay, it had to be. She could focus on Riley and Spike could focus on someone else.

Spike reluctantly shook her hand, “Truce.”

Buffy pulled her hand away quickly, ignoring her tingling fingers and smirked at him, “Come on Spikey, time to have your ass kicked by little ole me.”

Chapter 7: Remember When

After Buffy thoroughly kicked Spike’s lily white ass at the gym, the pair had seamlessly slipped into their old-age custom of going to the diner across the street and dissing each other’s taste in music.

The diner had one of those old jukeboxes and Buffy skipped over and placed a quarter in, picking a random Britney Spears song.

She joined Spike at the booth with a smug smile on her face. She wasn’t a fan of Britney, but seeing Spike’s face as the saccharine music filled the diner was priceless.

“Bloody hell, you did not just pick Britney fuckin’ Spears did you?”

Buffy shrugged, the smile never leaving her face, “It’s way better than the Sex Pollies or whatever.”

Spike looked enraged, “It’s the Sex Pistols, and don’t you forget it!”

He muttered something under his breath about no appreciation for fine music as he opened the menu.
Buffy rolled her eyes as she opened her own menu, studying the breakfast choices.


Amazing, she noted, how they could fall back into their old habits even after four years apart. Spike always seemed to be there

In high school she saw him constantly and it was oddly a small comfort knowing she could always count on Spike for some sarcastic remark. But, Buffy reminded herself, comfort is what got you into this mess.

“So,” Spike asked, breaking through her thoughts, “Decided on what you’re getting?”

“Um…” She eyed her menu and sighed. “Either the Pancake Deluxe or the Eggs ‘N’ Bacon.”

Spike scoffed, “What? You can’t handle the Triple Stack?” He glanced up from his menu to see Buffy frowning.

“I can! You’re the one who hurled after eating it, remember?,” She retorted, followed by a muttered, “Lightweight.”

“Lightweight! Oy, I can drink you under the table till your soddin’ unconscious!” Spike shot back and then broke out in a grin.“I know it for a fact Summers, you’re the lightest weight of all. Halloween party? Junior year? Ring any bells?”

Buffy’s eyes widened comically as she shook her head vehemently. “NO! We do not need to bring that up!”

Spike smirked evilly and rubbed his hands together comically, “As I recall, it was at Red’s house while her parents were out at some protest…”

Cosmopolitans are yummy, Buffy decided before downing her fourth fruity drink.

After the trick-or-treating fun, Willow had invited everyone back to her house since her parents were in LA for the night. With Buffy having already confirmed with her mom that she’d be staying over at Willow’s house, she was free to party.

Spike had offered to mix drinks and when she demanded something yummy and fruity, he complied, providing her with the stream of pretty pink drinks.

“Come on Spikey, give me another!” She whined as she slipped off her stool.

“NO,” Spike answered with a roll of his eyes. “You’re completely pissed.”

Buffy stumbled, clutching the counter for support.
“No I’m not!” she insisted with a frown, “I’m not mad at anybody.”

Spike walked around to the where Buffy was leaning against the counter and hoisted her into a chair.

“It means drunk, Summers,” Spike explained with a scowl. Buffy stared at him for a moment with a blank look on her face before leaning over to snatch one of the vodka bottles.

“I’m taking this,” She declared with a huff and stalked off, swaying slightly.

She wandered over to where Anya and Cordelia were having a loud discussion about whether thongs were overrated or underrated. Buffy stood there, taking a swig of vodka before giving her opinion.

“Thongs rock!” She half-yelled and then added as an after thought, “Though sometimes they get stuck in my ass crack.”

Cordelia snorted which caused both Anya and Buffy to break into peals of laughter. Apparently Buffy wasn’t the only one who was drunk.

Buffy stumbled past Fred and Gunn who were making out in the corner of the living room, the pair completely oblivious to their major PDA-ing.

“Blech,” Buffy shuddered as she witnessed the couple’s vigorous uses of their tongues. Seeing the kissing reminded Buffy that she had her own boyfriend. She was pretty sure that he was in the Rosenbergs’ rec room watching the college football game.

She slowly made her way down the stairs, only slipping once. At the bottom she took another gulp of vodka before throwing herself on the couch where everyone else was entranced by the game.

“Go! Catch it dammit!” Angel yelled and then jumped in surprise as an arm flung out and hit him in the face. He turned to see his girlfriend sitting there, glassy eyed and not just a little drunk. She held a bottle in her hands and Angel wondered whether Spike was manning the drinks anymore.

“Buff?” He said gently and Buffy gave him a bright smile.

“Hey Angel,” She slurred, “Guess what? Spikey gave me my own bottle!” She attempted to sit up, but flopped back on the couch. “Oof.”

Angel’s eyes narrowed but he helped Buffy sit up and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

“Sweetheart, been hitting the bottle a little hard, huh?” He asked, slightly amused.

Even though a drunken Buffy wasn’t a good thing, she was just too adorable.

Buffy tilted her head and pouted, “I didn’t hit the bottle!” She gave a little giggle, “God, you and Spike are weird. He thinks pissed means drunk. Loser.”

She tilted the bottle back and took another mouthful, shuddering as the burning liquid slid down her throat.

“Buffy, maybe that’s enough for now,” Angel said gently and attempted to remove the bottle from her hands. Buffy shook her head and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“Let’s go upstairs.”
Angel tensed, debating between following his girlfriend and doing the right thing. His brain won out and he shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” He spoke carefully. A look of surprise and hurt flashed across Buffy’s face, and which then turned into a glare.

“Fine. See if I care,” She snapped and unsteadily made her way back up the stairs before Angel could say anything else.

“Stupid boyfriend,” Buffy grumbled as she sat on the couch, nursing her bottle of vodka. Who was he to turn her down? She pouted at the blank wall.

“Well, well, well,” A British voice drawled. Buffy rolled her eyes.
“What are you doing up here without your honey, Summers?”

“He’s being stupid,” She sulked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Spike let out a laugh and sat down next to her with his beer.

“Well I could have told you that,” Spike said in a ‘duh’ tone of voice and Buffy glared at him, “Shut up Billy!”

Spike chuckled at Buffy’s slurred her words. She was utterly drunk face and what a sight it was.

“Exactly how much alcohol have you had, luv?” Spike asked with a wary glance at her bottle.

“I’m not your ‘luv’,” Buffy replied customarily. “And I’ve only had…” Buffy faltered as she stared at the bottle and tried to count how many Cosmos she’d had.

“This and three drinks!” She said smugly, “How ‘bout you?”

“Two beers. Summers, I think that’s enough for tonight, say bye-bye,” Spike said as he plucked the bottle out of her hands and held it up out of reach.

Buffy gasped and fixed her gaze on the bottle, “Gimme!”

“If you want, come and get it,” Spike taunted and chuckled as Buffy lunged forward.

She reached up, trying to grab the bottle, but in her tipsy state was having trouble gaining the balance and coordination to stretch her arm far enough.

“Grr…” She growled and lunged again but completely missed her target, falling intointo Spike’s lap.

“Oof,” She mumbled into his lap, her voice muffled. She was silent for a moment and Spike uneasily shifted, uncomfortable with the intimacy of her face near his crotch. He swallowed, hoping she couldn’t feel his hard on. Bloody hell, he wondered, why was he reacting to Buffy fuckin’ Summers?

“Hey,” Buffy said slowly, “Where’s your costume?”

“You notice that now?” Spike asked incredulously.

Buffy, with a little bit of help from Spike, managed to remove her face from his lap and slouched against the couch once again.

She ignored his question and continued, “How can you not have a costume? It’s tradition!”

“Yeah,” Spike replied, “Not really one for tradition. Besides, Halloween’s just a time to get candy and put on something ridiculous. I’ll pass, thank you very much.”

“No,” Buffy said struggling to sit up straight, “It’s ‘come as you aren’t’ night!”

Spike blinked, “Meaning?”

Buffy motioned to her costume consisting of a little white dress and apron, finished with a red cape.
“You’re supposed to wear something you aren’t!”

Spike stared at her, wondering if all the alcohol had completely obliterated all of her brain cells.
“And I care because…”

Buffy tried to scowl, but it quickly turned into a grin. She stood up quickly and the room spun, causing her to grab a hold of Spike’s shoulder.

“I have an idea! We can find you a costume!”

Spike balked, “No, Summers I’m not wearing any soddin’ costume.” Buffy ignored his protest and tugged on his hand, pulling him with her.

He sighed, “Bloody hell, this is a stupid idea! It’s almost midnight anyway.” He stopped resisting Buffy’s pull and she tumbled, bringing Spike with her.

“Ugh,” Buffy squeezed out as Spike’s body lay sprawled on top of her.

“Oof, you’re heavy,” She slurred, trying to push him off with little success.

“You bloody idiot,” Spike snarled.

Buffy began giggling like a mad woman when she realized how pathetic they must look struggling to stand up and repeatedly collapsing. Spike stared down at Buffy’s face and open mouth and couldn’t help but start to laugh as well.

Then Buffy went rigid beneath him, her face pale.
“Oh,” She managed, her stomach sloshing dangerously, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Spike’s eyes widened and with a stream of curses, he scrambled off her. She ran to the bathroom down the hall and barely made it to the toilet before her stomach emptied out.

Buffy’s face burned and she closed her eyes.
“Oh my god, I cannot believe you just told the whole diner about my one night fling with alcohol.”

Spike chuckled at her utter embarrassment. “Come on luv, it wasn’t that bad.”

Buffy whimpered, “Not that bad? Spike, I was hung over for like two days. And once again, my mother grounded me.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Why is it I always got grounded with you around? Were you setting me up?”

Spike feigned an innocent expression, “Why would I do that?”

Buffy’s eyes expanded and she gasped, “You did all that on purpose!” She gaped at him, “You’re evil!”

Spike let out a low, growly laugh. “That’s why you love me Summers,” He said, his voice husky.

Buffy swallowed, a blush, once again, working it’s way up her neck. Red alert, Buffy’s mind screamed and she realized, with no small amount of horror, that she’d leaned forward sometime in the course of their little storytelling and now their faces were dangerously close.

“Uh,” She let out oh-so-eloquently, staring into Spike’s eyes which were a deadly shade of navy blue.

The high-pitched ringing of her phone brought her out of her stupor and Buffy quickly answered it, grateful for the interruption.

“Hello?” Buffy greeted eagerly.

“Hey Buffy, how are you?”

Buffy instantly drew back and reclined against the upholstery, avoiding Spike’s gaze.

“Hi Riley!”

*************************

The following afternoon, Buffy sat in one of the comfy chairs at the round table in the Magic Box, twirling her pen and watching as a tall blonde wearing a white translucent dress gushed about Spike’s book.

“Omigosh, Jake is so hot!” she gushed. “Seriously, even though you can’t actually see him, you can totally picture him!”

Buffy snorted at the blonde’s squeals and tried to focus on Dawn’s school forms.

The book signing had only been going on for an hour, but already the line was looping through the store and out the door. Her gaze was fixated on Spike as he gave the blonde a smile and thanked her. As soon as the blonde was out of his sight he shook his head, mouthing something to himself. Buffy smirked and returned to her papers.

Just then the back door of the Magic Box swung open to reveal Anya and Xander. Buffy gave them a smile, “Hey, you’re back!”

The couple ignored her greeting and sat down opposite her, in the midst of a heated discussion.
“Ahn, I’m sorry but I have no control over Jesse’s business trips!” Xander said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Anya pouted, “But you should, dammit! It’s our wedding!” She ran her hands through her currently blonde hair, examining her wedding planner.

“Now what are we going to do? Buffy has no one to walk down the aisle with and you no longer have a best man!”

“Uh,” Buffy waved, “Buffy’s sitting right here.”

Xander looked up and gave her a strained smile, “Hey Buff, good to see you again.”

“Likewise. What’s up?”

Anya rolled her eyes, “Xander’s ‘friend’ here decided he needed to go away on business the week of the wedding and now Xander needs a new best man.”

“Ahn,” Xander said soothingly, “The wedding is still two months away. We’ll find someone- I’ll just ask one of the guys.”

“What guy?” Anya asked, gesturing to her chart. “Everyone left already has an important part in the wedding!”

Buffy studied the chart and noticed Oz, a close friend of Xander’s, was listed as the ring bearer.

“What about Oz? You can always have a cousin or something be the ring bearer,” She suggested.

Xander shook his head, “Oz said he is too far away to commute from Tibet to Sunnydale for all the practices and best man is too much commitment for him. Plus there’s a speech involved.”

Buffy looked impressed, “Oz said all that?”
Xander’s lips quirked, “Actually, all he said is, and I quote, ‘too much pressure.’”

Buffy nodded, “That’s Oz all right.”

Anya sighed loudly, “That’s great that Oz is living up to his one-liners but I have a serious issue here!”

“Anya, just bump one of the ushers to best man,” Xander said impatiently, “It’ll be fine!”

Anya examined the chart once again and then spoke. “Who?”

Xander took the sheet and eyed the names.
“Well, we can’t move the couples…wait!” Xander brightened, “Spike!”

Buffy blanched, “S-Spike?”

Xander nodded excitedly, “Sure, you and Spike go way back. So my cousin Jack will now be paired with Hallie.”

“That’s not so bad,” Anya admitted and took out a sharpie, rearranging the people.

Xander jumped up, “I’m going to go ask him right now.”

“Spike and I won’t have to hang out a lot will we?” Buffy ventured.

Anya gave her a bright smile, “Of course you will! You’re my maid of honor and Spike’s the best man. It’s like you’re the second couple only you’re dating Riley and all. You two will sit together at all the parties and you get to give speeches together! This is so much fun!” Anya clapped gleefully.

“Great,” Buffy muttered, casting a glance at Spike and Xander, who both looked happy. “Just great.”

Chapter 8: Confusion

Spike’s agreement to be the best man spurred the happy couple into leaving for spontaneous “orgasm time” leaving Buffy incredibly bored and alone.

She discretely surveyed the book signing with curiosity, making note of the masses of women who were clearly devoted to Spike’s book. Not that she cared, Buffy added quickly.

“Whoa, check out the line!” Buffy spun around to see Willow standing over the table eyeing the crowd with Tara in tow. Buffy glanced over her shoulder. “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty big.”

Willow arched a brow at her friend, “You guess? Buffy, the line is out the door.”

Buffy shrugged, feigning disinterest. A part of her really wanted to read it, but she wasn’t about to give Spike the satisfaction of interest in his book AKA his porn novel.

“I’m just glad Spike signed my book yesterday,” Willow commented and Tara nodded in agreement. “Looks like he might need more than two days for the signing.”

Willow smirked, “No doubt Anya’ll have something to say about that.” Then she looked around the Magic Box with a puzzled expression.

“Hey, I thought Xander and Anya were going to be here this afternoon.”

Buffy nodded, “They were but then Xander asked Spike to be the new best man which prompted Anya’s happiness and need for sex.” Buffy made a face at the mental picture accompanying her words.

“Figures, does she-” Willow stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide. “Whoa! Be kind, rewind. Spike’s going to be the best man?”

“I thought Jesse was,” Tara chimed in, looking just as confused. The couple sat down opposite Buffy anticipating her explanation.

“Jesse cancelled, something about a business trip. Xander decided to ask Spike ergo new best man.”

Willow looked dubious, “In the space of ten minutes?”

Buffy shrugged, “That’s Anya. She insisted on Xander finding someone today.”

Willow shook her head, “I love that girl, but…”

“I know,” Buffy and Tara nodded in unison.

“But,” Buffy began thoughtfully, “they work so well together. I can’t picture a Xander without an Anya, or vice versa.”

Tara nodded, knowing exactly what Buffy meant.

“And to think it began with senior prom,” Willow laughed. “God, Xander was petrified when she came up to him and said ‘I need a date. Go with me.’”

Tara giggled and Willow squeezed her lover’s hand.

Buffy’s gaze drifted to the clock and she swore under her breath, “Damn. I have to go get Dawn from cheerleading practice.” She quickly gathered her things and headed for the back door.

“Bronze tonight?” Willow called, struggling to be heard over the din.

“Yep,” Buffy replied loudly, popping the ‘p.’ She managed to squeeze herself between two rather large women and got to the door.

Strangely, she found herself turning around for one last glance at Spike, who was sitting at his table. He happened to glance up and gave her a quick flash of a smile and wave. Her stomach fluttered and a warmth spread through her body at the sight of that grin. Buffy meekly waved back and darted out the door.

She hurriedly made her way to her car, trying to ignore her mind’s replay of his heart-racing smile.

***********************

“Buffy, I thought we were doing something tonight, just us,” Riley said through the phone, sounding slightly hurt.

Buffy frowned, “When did I say that?”

Riley sighed and Buffy could picture him shaking his head as he muttered “Never mind.”

She knew she should say something about rescheduling, but at the moment she honestly didn’t feeling like dealing with it.

“It’ll be fun. Besides, what’s wrong with hanging out together with the gang?” Buffy asked him. She cradled the phone next to her ear and fished through her closet, trying to find something to wear.

“Will Spike be there?” Riley asked abruptly. Buffy resisted the urge to groan out loud. Riley clearly had some unidentified issue with Spike after speaking less than ten words to him. He denied it of course, but Buffy could hear the distaste in his voice.

“Yes,” Buffy replied with a small sigh. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t; he is a friend of ours.” Buffy said pointedly.

She swore she heard him mutter, “Not mine” but overlooked it, not wanting to press the issue.

“Look, if you don’t want to go, fine, but I promised Wills I would go,” Buffy said, her annoyance giving an edge to her voice.

Riley was silent for a moment as Buffy waited for his response.

“I’ll be late.” He said shortly and hung up the phone. Buffy knew she should be angry at his gruffness, but pushed it away.

She’d deal with it later she decided, pulling out a pair of red strappy heels. Now if only she could find her new black pants…her eyes narrowed.
“Dawn!” Buffy bellowed, “Did you take my new pants?”

***********************

There was a live band at the Bronze, which was rare for a Monday night, but not unwanted.

Buffy maneuvered her way through a large group of hormone-driven teenagers and passed several couples making out on the couches or under the stairs.

She finally spotted her friends near the bar, all near the bar, drinks in hand, laughing at Willow who appeared to be reenacting a scene from high school.

As Buffy came closer she picked out pieces of their conversation.

“…and then she grabbed his ass.” Willow finished and they roared with laughter.

“Hey guys,” She greeted. “What’re you talking about?”
Willow, still chuckling, took a sip of water as Xander motioned for Buffy to take a seat.

“Xander and Anya’s first date. Remember, Xander was so terrified he wanted us as back up?” Willow said and a small giggle escaped.

Anya looked at Xander with a mixture of surprise and adoration, “You were scared?”

Xander nodded. “In the pee-in-your-pants kinda way,” He admitted.

“Awww, that’s so sweet,” Anya sighed and kissed her fiancé soundly on the lips then whispered something in his ear that made him stumble out of his chair, eagerly following her to the bathroom.

The rest of the group stifled their laughter at the couple’s antics.

Then Willow turned to Buffy. “Where’s Riley?” She asked.

Buffy stared down at her fingers, eyeing her chipped pink nails. “Um, he’s going to be late. I think.”

Willow heard the reservation in Buffy’s voice and didn’t press, but secretly wondered what had happened between the seemingly happy couple.

“Summers, want a drink?” Spike asked, breaking through her muddled thoughts.

Buffy glanced up in surprise at Spike’s offer. “Uh, sure. I’d love a Cosmopolitan.”

Spike gave her his trademark smirk and winked, “Just don’t get pissed on me luv. I can only handle one night of listening to you puke your guts out.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open and Willow’s eyebrows shot up.

“Pissed huh?” She asked teasingly, watching her friend’s eyes shift away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Buffy said primly, catching the mischievous look in Spike’s eyes.

“Course not pet,” He responded solemnly. “I’ll get that drink for you.”

As soon as Spike was out of earshot, Willow’s arm whipped out and clutched Buffy’s, her nails digging into her friend’s skin.

“Ouch,” Buffy responded, trying to pull away from Willow’s iron grip.

“You were drunk with Spike? When?” She demanded.

“It was at your Halloween party junior year. And it’s not a big deal. We just talked, me sounding like an idiot, and then I almost puked on him,” Buffy explained with a huff. “Nothing happened.”

Unlike at the prom, a little voice reminded her sweetly, but she knew by now to ignore that voice.

Willow had a look of recognition on her face. “Oh, that was you who left the bathroom in a mess?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Who else would get that drunk? That’s me- Stupid Buffy.”

“You’re not stupid,” Tara interjected, earning her a thankful smile from Buffy.

“You’re sweet. A liar, but sweet,” Buffy told her, causing Tara to giggle.

“Ooh!” Willow squealed, grabbing her girlfriend’s hand. “I love this song. Let’s dance!” Tara agreed and followed her out to the dance floor. Willow flashed a grateful grin to Buffy, conveying her apology for leaving her there alone.

Buffy watched them slow dance, looking serene and completely oblivious to their surroundings. She sighed, they were so happy. It made her realize it had been ages since she and Riley had ever danced together that way.

All they seemed to do lately was not talk and have sex. And it wasn’t like the latter was all that satisfying, Buffy admitted to herself.

“The Wicca lovers go off too?” Spike asked and Buffy jumped slightly.

“They’re just on the dance floor,” She explained then frowned at his empty hands. “Where’s my drink?”
Spike motioned to the Cosmo in front of her with a ‘duh’ look and Buffy flushed, feeling extremely stupid.

“Oh,” She grabbed the glass and took a small sip. “Thanks.”

Spike shrugged, “No problem.” He took a gulp of his beer and the two sat in silence, watching the dancers.
Buffy was contemplating leaving since Riley was nowhere to be seen when Spike suddenly asked, “Wanna dance?”

Surprisingly, she nodded in agreement. Buffy set her drink down and then walked with Spike to the edge of the dance floor.

For a moment they stood their awkwardly, enough to make Buffy begin to have second thoughts.

Was she crazy? This was the same guy she had told that all they could be was good friends, and now, only a day later, they were going to slow dance.
Which meant intimate contact. Which meant thoughts going nowhere good.

Then, lightening-fast, Spike pulled her close, resting his hands lightly on her hips and Buffy obligingly wrapped her arms around his neck.

She knew they shouldn’t, not with their new, fragile friendship and their sensitive past, but it was just an instinct to sway ever-so-lightly with him. To feel his body close, but not quite touching hers. The desire to move closer surged through her but she resisted the impulse, barely.

Buffy swallowed her feelings and finally risked a glance at Spike’s face.

He was staring down at her intently and as soon as their eyes met she shivered.

Then her gaze shifted slightly to see Riley staring at them with barely-hid irritation.

Buffy pulled away from Spike, avoiding looking at him, and walked over to Riley.

“Hey,” She said cheerfully, striving to sound casual.

“Hi,” Riley replied and pressed a harsh kiss against her lips. Buffy squeaked at the sudden invasion and pushed him off.

Riley blinked, “Something wrong?”

Buffy knew he was just being possessive, she knew he’d seen them dancing and that he didn’t like it at all.
Spike walked up behind her and gave Riley a nod and a “Hello.”

Riley’s reply was stiff and Buffy winced, knowing she had to keep the two men away from each other.

“Honey, do you want to go?” Buffy asked, silently pleading for him to agree.

Riley nodded, not taking his eyes off Spike who was staring straight back with obvious dislike.

“Bye, Spike,” Buffy said and pulled Riley away. She stopped by the table and grabbed her leather jacket before taking his hand and exiting the club.

As soon as they were out of the club away Riley opened his mouth.
“I really don’t like him Buffy.”

Buffy snorted, “Really? I couldn’t tell.” She picked up her pace, wanting to end the night and stop all the confusing feelings within her.

Riley clenched his jaw. “I mean it Buffy. The way he looks at you…” He trailed off and Buffy was thankful he didn’t propose the one thing she really didn’t need to hear.

“We’re friends.” She told him. “Barely even that. We hated each other in high school. We constantly rubbed each other the wrong way and we never get along.”

Riley stared at her for a moment and then in a quiet voice said, “Maybe that’s what it used to be.”

At his words, Buffy broke out into a laugh. “Trust me. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. We’ll never get along. It’s how we work, Riley.”

A rush of comfort accompanied her words and Buffy laughed again.
What had she been getting all worked up about? What she was saying made perfect sense; she and Spike could never be anything other than friends, if that. All those weird feelings, that one night…they were just flukes.

Feeling reassured by her words Buffy gave Riley a soft kiss goodnight.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay over?” He asked softly, caressing her waist.

She shook her head, not feeling like having him over but telling him instead she was too tired.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Riley promised and with one last kiss walked off into the balmy night.

Buffy shut the door with a sigh and headed for bed. Exhaustion had caught up with her and she desperately wanted a good night’s sleep.

Chapter 9: Lonely

(This scene with Buffy and a student is partly taken from Season 7-so don’t be mad!)

“…and my parents won’t get off my back about college. They keep telling me: ‘football won’t get you anywhere.’ Then my girlfriend keeps saying she doesn’t wanna- hey are you listening to me?” The brown-haired teenager demanded angrily.

Buffy nodded eagerly, “Of course I am…” She trailed off trying desperately to remember the boy’s name.

“Mike. Mike Hannigan,” The boy replied angrily and shook his head. “God, you’re just like everyone else. Too busy with their own damn problems.” Mike stood up and grabbed his backpack, looking forlorn.

“Wait! Don’t go!” Buffy cried. “I’m hip, I can relate to you a-and,” She paused with a frown, “You really shouldn’t swear.”

Mike just closed the door, ignoring her protests.

Buffy sighed and doodled on her blank paper. Honestly, she tried but today was just not her day. Her mind kept playing over the previous night from the dance with Spike to Riley’s unnerving reaction.

She stood up and switched the sign on the door so it said ‘Closed’, then headed over to Principal Robin Wood’s office.

He was way cooler than the old Principal Snyder ever was and she often went to him after a not quite so successful appointment.

Pushing the door open without knocking, Buffy began her venting.

“Do you know a Mike Hannigan? Cause I’m starting to think-“ She broke off mid-sentence at the sight in front of her.

Faith, topless, was straddling Principal Wood, also sans shirt, and both were looking at her with guilty expressions.

“Um…we can explain,” Faith began, jumping off Robin and reaching for her top. Buffy averted her eyes politely and responded, “I think I have an idea.”

“We’re dating,” Faith said quickly and exchanged a glance with Robin, who just flashed her an encouraging smile.

“Oh,” Buffy replied, her eyes darting between them. “Dating like…”

“Boyfriend-girlfriend shit,” Faith clarified, giving Robin a soft smile. Buffy gaped at her friend in surprise. Faith was definitely not one for dating. Buffy was pretty sure Faith had invented the meaning of “use ‘em and lose ‘em.”

“Th-that’s good,” Buffy replied, her shock wearing off. “Really, really good.” Her eyes flitted to Robin’s bare chest.

He quickly threw on a shirt and spoke. “Look Buffy, I’d appreciate if you didn’t say anything to anyone right now. The school doesn’t exactly condone teacher-teacher relationships.”

“Also they don’t like it when people make out in their offices,” Buffy added pointedly.

Faith had the decency to look slightly embarrassed. “We’ll keep that in mind.”

There was a moment of silence before Buffy spoke again.

“I’m happy for you guys, really,” She said sincerely. “And I promise I’ll knock from now on.”
Robin chuckled, “Thanks.”

Faith headed towards the door. “Well B and I better get back. See you later Robin.” Her voice was full of promise and Buffy felt a little embarrassed being there.

“Yeah,” Robin replied softly then cleared his throat. “Bye Buffy.”

Both girls exited his office and as soon as Faith closed the door Buffy shoved her lightly.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!” She pouted.

Faith shrugged, uncharacteristically quiet. “It’s new. I didn’t want to bust it before it went anywhere.”

Buffy nodded, understanding exactly what her friend meant.

“So what about you and Riley?” Faith asked.

“What about us?” Buffy responded cautiously. Okay, so things hadn’t been the best recently, but what couple didn’t have their ups and downs?

“You guys all sweet and lovey-dovey as usual?” Faith teased and Buffy just shrugged.

Faith chortled. “Oh. I know what that means,” She said knowingly.

“What what means?” Buffy said almost too defensively.
“That shrug,” Faith motioned to Buffy with her hand. “That’s a ‘the sex ain’t good’ shrug.”

“What?” Buffy screeched, and then lowered her voice as a guidance counselor glanced up, looking annoyed.

“We’re fine!” Buffy hissed. “And how can you tell that from a gesture, F?”

Faith held her hands up in mock surrender. “Hey I’m just saying…”

“Well don’t,” Buffy snapped and slammed her door in Faith’s face, fuming.

Buffy sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She felt bad for snapping at Faith, but did she really have to tell her that?

Buffy knew the answer: yes. She needed to face up to the facts; she and Riley weren’t doing all that great right now. And it wasn’t Spike’s fault, Buffy admitted to herself. It had started before that. Spike just made the cracks visible.

But still, her optimistic side argued, that didn’t mean she should just give up on their relationship.

“I’m going to make it work,” Buffy said out loud with determination. All she needed were vanilla-scented candles, a hot bath and sexy new lingerie.

************************

At the mall, Buffy made her way to Victoria’s Secret. She had exactly 27 minutes to find something to blow Riley’s mind before Dawn needed to be picked up.

She entered the store and headed towards the lace teddies, fingering the delicate material between her fingers.

“Can I help you?” A breathy, feminine voiced asked and Buffy turned to see an eager saleswoman looking at her expectantly.

“Um…” Buffy paused. “I was actually looking for something…sexy. Something for me and my-“

“Say no more,” The woman stopped her with an impish grin. “I know just the thing.”

The saleslady led her to the back to the back and pulled out something red and lacy with a flourish.
“This is guaranteed to make your lover lose it,” She said confidently.

Make my lover lose it? Buffy thought with distaste. Hopefully they were paying her to say that.

Buffy warily took the item and eyed the fancy loops and laces. It was a bit much for her taste.

“Uh, do have something more…simple? But still sexy?” She questioned.

The woman pursed her lips and then brightened. “Follow me,” she ordered, leading Buffy to yet another display and pulling out a dark emerald flimsy slip.

Buffy took it and smiled. It was silky, short and very low cut with two tiny straps holding it up. The color matched her eyes and she knew it would look good.
“I’ll take it.”

***************************

Buffy had persuaded Dawn to stay with Janice that night so the house was empty. She spent the rest of her afternoon spreading out thick white candles in her room and drawing a bath with the same candles surrounding it.

She put in a CD and turned the volume low. She glanced at the clock and smiled with satisfaction. Everything was ready just in time. Now all Buffy had to do was run upstairs to put her new purchase on and run a brush through her straightened hair.

She just made it down the stairs when the doorbell rang. Her stomach fluttered and she smoothed the emerald silk before opening the door with a seductive smile.
“Hi Riley. Come in.” She purred, giving her hair a toss.
Riley stood there, mouth wide open for a second before snapping his jaw shut.

“Uh…you’re not wearing that to the movies are you?” He asked worriedly.

Buffy giggled. “No silly. I thought we could spend the night…in.”

“Um…” Riley began, hesitantly stepping inside. “I wasn’t aware of that.”

“I know,” Buffy said cheerfully. “It was a surprise. I figured it’s been a while since we really did something special. I even drew you a bath…” She trailed off, stepping forward to take his coat and brushing a promising kiss against his lips.

Riley stood there stiffly. “I wish you’d told me about this,” he muttered, rubbing his neck.

Buffy drew back, her romantic intentions disappearing rapidly. The air seemed cooler, less inviting.

“Why? Can’t I plan something nice for you? For us?” Buffy questioned, crossing her bare arms over her chest.

“It’s just I thought we were going to the movies and I’m kind of beat,” Riley admitted.

Buffy bristled, annoyed her plans were falling part.
“So I make everything look nice, get Dawn out of the house and wear this,” She motioned to her outfit, “And you decide you’d rather see a movie?”

Riley sighed, his irritation breaking through. “I’m just not in the mood, okay! And you’re making it sound like we never do anything like this!”

Buffy looked at him coldly. “That’s because we don’t,” She said shortly and went up the stairs to her room, slamming the door hard enough to make the walls shake.

“You can show yourself out,” She yelled through the door while rifling through her clothes for a pair of jeans and comfy top.

Downstairs, Riley stared down at the floor, his gaze briefly flicking up the stairs before he slowly opened the door and closed it quietly behind him.

As soon as Buffy heard the door close, she blew out all the candles, drained the bathtub and grabbed her keys and shoes. She made it to the car before she wondered where the hell she was going.

Then Buffy got an idea. Taking out her cell, she quickly dialed Willow’s number.

“Hey Wills, can you tell me where Spike is staying?”

*******************

Buffy knew it was a bad idea, a horrible one in fact, and she’d probably regret it later, but right now she didn’t care.

She turned sharply into the parking lot of Spike’s hotel, pulling into a parking spot and jumping out. Inside the hotel, Buffy asked the hotel clerk if he could call up to Spike’s room.

“I’m sorry ma’am, there was no response,” The man informed her. Buffy sighed and asked him to try again.

“It’s important,” She told him. Her voice must have conveyed her urgency because he tried again. No response.

Dejected, Buffy thanked him and slowly walked out of the hotel. She was almost to her car when a dark figure sitting against the hotel wall caught her eye. Buffy watched a trail of smoke curl upward and the orange ember flicker brightly. Could it be…?

Spike sat on the ground, his back against the hotel wall, smoking his cigarette. He’d been doing so well, almost three weeks before he broke down and resumed the habit. He blamed Buffy; she made him need the release.

The night before, the dance they’d shared had been a small flicker of hope for him. Hope that maybe Buffy felt more for him then she was letting on. It was barely anything, but the look in her eyes…it made him want her and love her a thousand times more than before.

“That fucker.” He muttered.

Spike tossed his cigarette on the ground, crushing it with his scuffed booted foot.

“Wow, I think they call that littering,” A deceptively sweet, feminine voice remarked from above him.
Spike looked up to see Buffy standing there, her long golden hair framing her beautiful golden face and her green eyes studying him. His heart flip-flopped at the sight of her.

“Hey Summers,” He said casually.

“Hi,” Buffy replied, her voice soft. A silence stretched between them and Buffy lowered herself next to him.

“I was looking for you inside,” Buffy informed him, hugging her knees.

“Really?” Spike replied trying to sound disinterested.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, staring off into the distance. “You weren’t in your room so I was going to check around but then I saw you sitting here.”

“Why?” Spike asked abruptly, turning to face Buffy head-on. She looked back at him, her eyes unreadable.

“Wanna go do something?” She asked, half-answering his question. She wasn’t exactly sure what the other part of the answer was anyway.

“Always,” Spike replied with a smirk. Buffy stood up and brushed any dirt off her jeans.

Spike followed suit and they walked to her car.
“So, where’re we going?”

Chapter 10: Talk

“Bowling?” Spike said incredulously as he stared at the neon lights.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, drawing out the word. “What? Can’t handle it Spikey?”

“I don’t do bowling, Summers,” Spike informed her. “No bloody way.”

Buffy had already hopped out of the car, ignoring Spike’s protests. The parking lot was almost empty and the shops on either side were closed.

“Come on,” She said, facing him with a grin. “It’ll be fun.”

Spike wished he could have said he resisted her smile and damn twinkling eyes, but he was powerless. He was her slave and she bloody well knew it.

“Fine,” he grumbled, catching up to her. “But only for an hour.”

An hour and half later, Buffy was, once again, kicking Spike’s ass.

Spike groaned as her ball knocked all the pins down.
“Haha! Strike!” She squealed, jumping up and down gleefully. Her hair was now pulled into pigtails and with her sweatshirt, jeans and those bowling shoes, she reminded Spike of a five-year-old.

“Your turn Spike,” Buffy announced, sitting in a plastic chair to watch Spike bowl.

He grumbled and watched as his ball rolled down the alley, hitting maybe half of the pins.

“Bloody hell!” he swore. “How the hell are you beating me?” he asked, glaring at Buffy.

She gave him a bittersweet smile. “Self-defense mechanism,” She replied simply while grabbing her bowling ball.

Spike cocked an eyebrow, “Come again?”

Buffy sighed. “My dad loved to bowl. Every Thursday night we went to this one bowling alley and played while eating greasy but delicious food. When my parents really started fighting, I put everything into those Thursday nights. A part of me hoped that if my dad had something to stay for…” Buffy paused, looking down at the floor. “Maybe he would…stay, I mean.” She hesitantly looked back up at Spike to see him staring at her fixedly, his eyes a blue-gray and absolutely hypnotizing.

Buffy let out a little laugh that sounded bitter even to her ears. “I guess it didn’t really work.”

Suddenly Spike was right in front of her, touching her hand ever-so-slightly, his fingertips grazing her knuckles. Her hand tingled where he’d touched her.

“You tried, luv. That’s what matters,” he told her sincerely.

Buffy swallowed uneasily, pulling away as discretely as she could, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Thanks.”

Spike nodded and then returned his attention to the game.

“So are you planning on bowling anytime soon or forfeiting?” He teased, earning a good glare. Buffy gratefully accepted the change of subject and smirked.

“Watch and weep, Spikey,” she retorted and let the ball sail down the alley.

**********************

“Wait, you and Spike, alone, went bowling?”

Faith and Buffy were walking to their usual pub for lunch and Buffy was retelling her evening with Spike. When she had approached Faith earlier in the day, Buffy had apologized for her harsh behavior the day before. Faith accepted her apology, telling her it was no big deal. Buffy was extremely grateful her friend wasn’t mad at her, it made something right at least.

Faith gave Buffy a doubtful look. “Bowling? With Spike? As in knock a bunch of pins down bowling?”

“Yes, we did. Is that so hard to believe?” Buffy questioned her friend.

Faith snorted. “You and Spike? Yeah, that’s edging on the unbelievable side.”

Buffy rolled her eyes while opening the doors of the pub, and the pair made their way over to the window seats.

“I don’t know. It was kind of weird to hang out with him, just us. We’ve never done that before.” Buffy lowered her voice, “He’s not that bad, if you ignore the Billy Idol wannabe wardrobe and the fact he’s a pain in the ass.”

Faith shook her head in mock astonishment. “Will wonders never cease? I think Buffy Summers just paid a compliment to Spike Giles!”

Buffy ignored her and eyed her menu instead. After a few moments, Buffy realized how silent Faith was and glanced up with a questioning look.

“What’s up? You’re all quiet.”

Faith bit her lip, looking serious. “Do you…like him Buffy?”

Buffy’s jaw dropped and then she giggled. “Are you serious?”

At Faith’s expression Buffy sobered.

“What made you think that?” She asked, fidgeting with her napkin under the table. When Faith continued to look at her reproachfully, Buffy continued. “We’re just friends, Faith, you know that. Hell, everyone knows that.”

When Faith’s expression stayed the same Buffy glanced upward and let out a disbelieving laugh.
“God, do you remember us in high school? We never got along,” Buffy said defensively.

“This isn’t high school anymore B.” Faith’s response was quiet but firm.

Buffy’s gaze stayed trained on the table. “Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

Faith nodded and for the rest of their lunch hour, they avoided any mention of Spike.

*****************

That afternoon, Spike was sitting in the Magic Box waiting for Xander and reading a book. He flipped through the pages lazily, feet propped up on the table. Mostly he was thinking about the previous night with Buffy.

After they finished bowling, or more accurately, after the place had kicked them out for yelling, Buffy had drove him back to his hotel, stopping on the way for ice cream.

He had been so amazed they’d actually spent a whole evening enjoying each other’s company, playfully arguing and having fun. Buffy had parked the car and they finished their ice creams silently.

Spike had glanced at her, watching as she chewed on her cone, her face clearly expressing her delight. Their eyes met and Spike could’ve sworn they would have kissed if it weren’t for the fact his ice cream fell out of the cone and plopped in his lap. A real mood-killer, Spike winced, remembering.

The door to the shop opened, the bell ringing, and Spike glanced up to see Riley walk in, a determined look on his face. Spike noted that said look was directed at him and inwardly grimaced.

“Spike.” Riley greeted him curtly and sat down across from him, his posture rigid. “I need to talk to you.” He paused and Spike cocked an eyebrow at him. “About Buffy.”

Spike sighed, “Right then. Let’s have it out.”

Riley cleared his throat and met Spike’s eyes squarely. “Stay away from her. I don’t know what happened between you two, but obviously something has- and don’t deny it,” Riley said as Spike opened his mouth to protest.

Riley shook his head, “Buffy may not want to tell me, but I’m not expecting you to bullshit around it. What you’re doing now though, hanging around her, trying to win her back or something, has to stop. She doesn’t want you.”

“Sure about that mate?” Spike drawled.

Riley’s eyes narrowed. “I’m positive. Buffy’s with me isn’t she? And all I hear from her about you is how annoying and pathetic you are.”

Spike tried not to let that comment hurt him. “As soon as Buffy says she doesn’t want me near her, I’ll go, but if the lady doesn’t have a problem...” Spike trailed off suggestively.

Angry red blotches appeared on Riley’s face as he clenched his jaw, furious. “Stay away from her, I mean it!” He snarled and stormed out of the shop, nearly bumping into Dawn, who jumped out of his way.

She watched with a raised brow as Riley started
his car and with a squeal of the tires took off.

“Well, that was interesting,” She said slowly as she put her backpack behind the counter.

Spike shrugged, trying to hide his grin but failing miserably.

Dawn noticed his smirk and bounced over to him. “Okay, spill.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” He asked, dodging her demand.

Dawn gave a dismissive wave, “Not for another five minutes. Now, tell me what happened! Did Riley confront you about Buffy?”

Spike gave a small nod and Dawn laughed. “Omigod, I knew it. God, he gets so possessive over her.”

She stopped giggling and studied him. “You’re not going to tell her Riley confronted you are you? Because as much as Buffy hates possessive guys, she really hates it when people tell her things before she’s ready.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “I do know your sister Nibblet, and I’m not going to say a bloody thing…yet.”

“Good,” Dawn said, satisfied. “’Cause I wouldn’t mind her dating you so I’ve got to keep you from blowing it.”

A ringing sounded and Dawn reached into her pocket, answering her phone. “Hello?”

Suddenly, Dawn brightened, “Hey Scott!” She withdrew her attention from Spike, walking towards the back room.

Spike mulled over what Dawn had pointed out.
She was right; Buffy was as stubborn as hell and he didn’t want to provoke her into thinking he was butting into her personal life.

Spike was jarred out of his thoughts as the door opened, revealing Xander. Spike eagerly followed him to the Bronze, looking forward to a beer and a game of pool. He’d just have to talk to Buffy later; right now he really needed to get drunk.

Chapter 11: Perfect Rain

“Spin again,” Buffy instructed and Dawn complied, her dress flaring out, shimmering in the light. Her gown was a soft light blue silk that hugged her slender figure and fell just past her knees.

“You look so pretty Dawnie,” Willow chimed in from Buffy’s bed. Dawn gave her a huge grin. “Thanks!”

Anya, who was trying to curl Dawn’s hair, smacked her arm. “Don’t move or this curling iron will burn you and then you won’t be going to the dance,” Anya warned, pushing Dawn into a chair.

She was too excited to care about Anya’s remark and let out a little squeal. “What time is it?” Dawn asked eagerly.

Buffy glanced at her watch, “7:25, only three minutes since you last asked.”

Dawn bit her lip, “I’m just so nervous!” She cast a glance in the mirror, studying her reflection with a frown. “Is my hair too poofy? Oh god is that a zit?”

Buffy rolled her eyes and swiveled the chair around so Dawn couldn’t see herself.

“You look amazing, honest.” Buffy said with conviction and Dawn gave her a thankful smile.

“Now,” Anya commanded, “go show the guys downstairs.”

Dawn stood up and slipped on her matching blue ankle-breakers and, with a little help from Willow and Buffy, wobbled down the stairs.

Spike and Xander were sitting on the couch waiting for what seemed like forever for the girls to come down from the bedroom. Finally Anya skipped down the stairs and motioned for Dawn to show off her stunning outfit.

She walked into living room and spun once, the dress swirling around her knees.

“You look very pretty Ms. Summers,” Xander complimented with a goofy grin. Dawn grinned back and turned expectantly to Spike.

“Lovely Nibblet,” He agreed with a warm smile.
The doorbell rang and Dawn jumped, her eyes wide. “Oh god, he’s here!” She raced over to the stair railing, grabbing her purse and shawl.

Buffy went to open the door, Willow hovering behind her, eager to see Dawn’s date.

“Hey Scott, come in,” Buffy greeted, opening the door wide.

Scott nodded in her direction, “Hi Buffy.” Then his gaze turned to Dawn and his jaw dropped slightly.

“W-wow Dawn, you look amazing,” He stuttered, his face flushing. Dawn smiled beatifically and looped her arm through his.

“I’ll be back around midnight,” Dawn informed her sister, praying she’d agree.

Buffy paused before nodding. “Fine. Call if you need a ride.”

Dawn tightened her grip around her boyfriend’s arm and nearly made it out the door when Willow cried out.
“Oh! I almost forgot! Tara asked me to take a couple of pictures since she has classes.”

Willow quickly fished her camera out of her purse and took a few pictures of the couple. As soon as she finished, the pair raced out of the house.

“Midnight!” Buffy called out as they walked down the driveway.

“I know!” Dawn yelled back as Buffy shut the door with a sigh.

“Well that was extremely entertaining,” Anya commented before tugging on her fiancé’s hand, urging him to get up off the couch.

“We should probably get going,” Xander explained, “if we’re going to make it to the movie.”

Willow bit her lip as she glanced at the clock. “I should probably get going too. I was going to meet Tara outside of class and then we have our Wicca group.”

Buffy felt a little disappointed they weren’t going to hang out and wait for Dawn to return, but graciously led them to the door, waving her goodbyes.

“Well, I guess it’s just you and me,” Spike commented and Buffy’s heart fluttered in her chest.

“I guess so,” she said casually and headed into the kitchen to avoid looking at him. She began scrubbing dishes, pressing hard with the sponge.

Spike, however, followed her, leaning against the fridge and watching her clean.
“Want to watch a movie? Believe you own some good films,” Spike teased.

Buffy shrugged. “Sure, I guess. You don’t have to stay, you know.”

Spike cocked his head and stared at her for a moment before speaking. “I want to.”

Buffy finally looked straight into his eyes. “Okay.”

****

“This is so stupid,” Buffy announced with distaste as Spike roared with laughter.

They were sitting on the couch watching a movie, Buffy curled up into one corner to leave a safe amount of space between them.

“Oh come on Summers, how can you not be entertained by Monty Python and the Holy Grail?”

Buffy huffed, “It’s pointless.”

Spike smirked, “And therein lies the point of this movie.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please, let’s watch something else. Anything else.”

Spike picked up the remote and clicked the TV off. “Let’s do something then.”

“Like what?” Buffy asked cautiously.

“Well for starters,” Spike glanced around, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. “Where do you keep the good stuff?”

****

Buffy giggled and attempted to pour herself another shot. “I cannot believe you convinced me to do this.”

Spike smirked, “It’s all part of my charm, Summers.”

Buffy let out an unlady-like snort, “Charm, my ass.”

They were enjoying their liquor and each other’s company out on Buffy’s front porch and currently Buffy was reclining against one of the posts.

Her mind was swimming slightly and her skin felt hot. She studied Spike out of the corner of her eye, noticing he didn’t look even a little tipsy, which begged the question exactly how much of the bottle she’d had.
He also, Buffy observed, looked extremely hot.

“Come on Goldilocks,” Spike had slipped back into his pet names for her as the night progressed. “Have another.”

Buffy downed her who-knows-what-number shot of the evening and made her ‘blech’ face.

“I wonder how Dawn’s dance is going,” She mused after recovering from the aftertaste of the drink

Spike shrugged, “Good I suppose.”

Buffy toyed with her shot glass. “I just hope she’s having fun. I want her to have a good prom experience… dancing with friends and boyfriends, enjoying life.”

Spike bumped her shoulder gently, “What, like your prom was bad?”

Buffy tensed at his comment and Spike tried not to let her response hurt him. Buffy relaxed, defeated. “No, I guess it wasn’t.”

The mood took a serious turn and Spike suddenly turned to face her, watching her face intently. “Do you ever think about that night?” He questioned.

There was a long pause before Buffy’s answer came, so quiet Spike almost thought he hadn’t really heard it.
“Sometimes.”

Buffy had made it as far as the park when her tears began blurring her vision. She pulled over to the side of the road and let them fall. Soon, she was all out sobbing and why? She wasn’t even sure. Angel was an ass, she knew that, but she felt like she’d lost a part of herself.

“This is stupid,” Buffy said out loud, wiping the tears away. She pulled down the mirror and half-heartedly fixed her makeup. She was fishing through her purse when a lone figure caught her eye out the window. She stiffened, a thread of fear making its way up her spine. Then the saw the bleached hair and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. It was Spike.

Despite her aversion to him, she really didn’t feel like being alone right now. She’d even settle for arguing with the bleached wonder, just to feel normal.

Buffy rolled down her window to call out but stopped when she saw his face.

The moonlight glinted off his hair, which was damp and curled from the light rain. He was wearing a tux, minus the jacket and his shirt was untucked and rumpled. His whole appearance made him look like a lost little boy.

“Spike?” She said softly and he looked up, startled. She saw him relax when he recognized her.

“Hello Goldilocks,” He drawled as if seeing her in the middle of nowhere was normal.

“Hi,” Buffy cautiously replied. “What are you doing out here?”

Spike let out a maniac laugh that made her shiver.
“Listening to the rain,” he chuckled. “Listening to the bloody rain.”

“Oh.” She was at lost for words. “Do you-I mean- do you need a ride?”

Spike wandered closer and his sway made her believe he probably wasn’t sober.

“No, but thanks pet,” He said quietly then frowned. “Why aren’t you at the prom thing with Peaches?”

Stupid, she berated herself, she should’ve known this would come up.

“I didn’t feel like going,” She answered quickly, not meeting his gaze.

“Yeah,” Spike muttered, “Me neither.”

They were silent for a moment before Buffy took a deep breath. “Wanna sit for a minute? Get out of the rain?”

Spike looked down at her in astonishment for a moment, and she could feel a blush working its way up her face when suddenly, he moved around the car and climbed into the passenger seat.

Once again, a silence filled the car and all Buffy could hear was the soft pitter-patter of the rain and their breathing.

“She dumped me, you know,” Spike said finally , staring out the window at the dark woods. His voice was low, “Drusilla, she dumped me.”

Buffy swallowed, “Angel dumped me. Right outside the gym.”

Instead of making a snide remark, Spike just muttered, “Ponce.”

He was paused before speaking again. “I don’t know why it surprised me. Bloody hell, with all the cheating I don’t know why I didn’t dump her,” He turned and gave Buffy a self-mocking bitter smile.

“’Cause you love her,” She said softly meeting his intense blue eyes.

“Yeah maybe,” He mumbled then looked at her. “Or maybe I’m just love’s bitch.”

Buffy cracked a small grin at that and Spike returned it. Then her grin disappeared.

“It surprised the hell out of me, Angel dumping me, I mean,” She gave a disbelieving laugh. “I was going to give him my virginity tonight.”

As soon as she realized what she said, a scarlet blush bloomed in her cheeks.

Once again Spike surprised her by grabbing her hands and staring straight her. “An arse like that doesn’t deserve your love, let alone your virginity, Buffy.”
The sound of her name coming from Spike sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

“Thanks,” She mumbled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She glanced up to see Spike staring at her strangely, like he wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

“Spike? Something wrong?”

He blinked. “No-uh- nice dress.”

Buffy glanced down and fingered the soft ivory material. Her mom had surprised her by buying it, insisting her daughter only went to Senior Prom once, and might as well be spoiled. Buffy felt a slight twinge of guilt that the dress hadn’t even made it into the gym.

“Thanks,” She replied, unsure.

“Really,” Spike emphasized as if sensing her doubt. Buffy gawked at him. Now he was freaking her out.

“Why are you being so…” She stopped.

“So what?” Spike asked with an edge to his voice.

“So nice,” Buffy finished.

“Well in case you didn’t notice, we’re both sitting here looking bloody pathetic because we were both just dumped. ‘Scuse me if I don’t feel like fighting with the only person I can talk to right now,” Spike snapped.

“I know what you mean,” Buffy agreed, risking a look at Spike who was looking straight back at her. “This has been a sucky night.”

Spike shrugged, “Could be worse.” He propped his feet up on the dashboard.

“Really?” Buffy asked skeptically.

“Sure, you could have gone to the dance, had a bloody wonderful time, gone home with the poof, made love and then he could’ve dumped you.”

“Oh,” Buffy paused. “That does sound worse.”

“See,” Spike said pointedly.

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up.”

“I wasn’t,” he protested, “I was merely putting things into perspective.”

“Oh. Right,” Buffy said, trying to ignore that stupid sinking feeling.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” She asked, fidgeting slightly.

“God no, don’t want Dad’s soddin’ questioning,” Spike responded with a shudder.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, “I know the feeling.”

Suddenly she was well aware of his presence, how close he was. Had he always had those cheekbones? she found herself wondering and turned away. Bad Buffy! She told herself. It was Spike!

“Buffy,” There it was again, that shiver when he said her name.

“What?” She snapped, her voice loud.

Spike frowned, “Just wondering where your mind went off to.”

Buffy forced herself to relax. “Just thinking.”

She met his eyes and found herself unable to look away from his mesmerizing eyes. They swirled with every possible blue and tiny flecks of yellow and green. She wondered if it would be weird to tell him his eyes were pretty.

“Spike,” She whispered.

“Yeah?” He replied, not breaking their eye contact.

Why were their voices so low and husky? Buffy wondered. And, she added, why was Spike’s face getting closer?

At the moment their lips touched, she felt shivers sweep up and down her spine. The kiss started off soft and hesitant, neither of them sure what was going on. Then something inside her took a hold of her reason and threw it out the proverbial window.

She wanted him right now with a hunger that terrified and excited her. Buffy pulled his head closer, kissing him ferociously. Spike instantly responded to her advances, pressing their bodies closer, their tongues intertwined.

More, Buffy thought incoherently. She needed more.

Buffy wasn’t sure whether it was the drinks or the memories, but soon she found herself leaning against Spike, feeling his warm hand tentatively running up and down her arm.

She titled her head up to see his face. “Do you ever wonder-“

Spike never got to hear what she was going to say because a car swung into the driveway, the headlights momentarily blinding them.

All of a sudden whatever confusion and drunkenness Buffy felt dissipated, and she sat up as she realized who was there.

Riley.


sorry-evil cliffhanger-damn them!

Chapter 12: How Do You Feel?

“What the hell is Spike doing here?” Riley demanded as Buffy stumbled to her feet, attempting to hide the now empty bottle of tequila.

“Riley,” she said quickly, her voice still notably slurred. “We were just hanging out, everyone else left a little while ago so we decided to-"

“Get drunk?” Riley finished coolly.

Buffy swallowed, hard. “It’s not what it looks like,” she said softly.

Spike had been silently watching the couple before he spoke. “We were just talkin’ and having a few drinks, mate.”

“Shut up Spike,” Buffy snapped, not wanting to make things worse by having him open his big mouth.

Riley regarded her, his face tense. “I think I’ll just go,” he gritted out and started down the walkway.

“Riley,” Buffy called out, feeling desperate. “Please, just come inside.” At his look she pleaded harder, “Please?”

At her desperate plea Riley turned and walked slowly back towards the house, glaring at Spike on his way through the door, shutting it firmly.

Buffy turned to go into her house when Spike pulled on her sleeve, opening his mouth to say something. Buffy cut him off. “Spike… just… leave, okay?”

“Bu-“ he began but she stopped him.

“Just go,” she said, running a hand through her hair.
Spike wasn’t going to let it go. “We need to talk Summers,” he said seriously.

Buffy opened the door and let out a sigh, “No Spike, we don’t.” Then she closed the door softly, leaving Spike on her porch, staring at the door.

Fuck, he thought with a wince, this is going to require a hell of a lot of beer.

The sight of Riley with his arms crossed greeted Buffy as she entered the living room.

“What the hell is going on between you two?” he demanded loudly.

“We were just hanging out,” Buffy explained tersely, “I wasn’t aware we weren’t allowed.”

Riley shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the blondes’ confusing relationship. “First you tell me you hate him and then you get drunk with him like you’re all buddy-buddy, and I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“What?” Buffy asked, exasperated, “What is it I’m not telling you?”

Riley’s jaw clenched tightly. “Something about you and Spike.”

“Nothing ever happened between us,” she lied. “We’re just…trying to get along better. Make amends.”

Okay, Buffy reasoned, that was partly true, but she couldn’t tell him about prom night, it was too personal, too intimate. She didn’t quite understand why, but maybe…maybe her and Spike’s closure wasn’t as done as she thought.

“Listen,” Riley was speaking again. “Maybe I’m just overreacting, but seeing you with him…I don’t think he’s a good guy, Buffy. Not someone I’d picture you being friends with.”

Buffy pushed the thoughts of prom night from her mind. “Riley, I can be friends with whoever I want- it’s not really up to you.”

“I know,” Riley replied, “but I don’t want to…” he trailed off, his gaze shifting down.

“To what?” Buffy asked, her voice almost harsh against his soft one.

“Nothing,” Riley said quickly. “Are we okay?”

Buffy knew she had two choices. The first was to say ‘no we aren’t okay’ and actually and actually get all their problems out in the open, but that would mean touching on the subject of Spike again which she most definitely didn’t want to do. The second choice was to give a cheery smile and say ‘of course!’, followed by her kissing him.

She chose the latter.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Riley whispered against her lips and headed back out into the night.

Buffy watched him go, wondering if she’d made the wrong choice. Don’t think about it, Buffy told herself, just go to bed.

As Buffy crawled into bed, her head pounding, her thoughts stubbornly flitted back to the rest of her prom night.

Buffy was currently sandwiched between Spike and the upholstery of the back seat of the car, her body singing with pleasure as Spike placed butterfly kisses down her neck and nipped at her collarbone.

“Mmm…” Buffy moaned softly, shifting slightly so Spike was cradled between her legs.

“Buffy,” Spike rasped as he felt her moving her hips against his. It boggled him how they’d gone from talking softly in the dark rain to heatedly kissing and apparently dry humping. Something had broken in him, his desire for her hitting him hard and by god he didn’t want to let go.

“Spike,” Buffy said, panting slightly. She was drunk on desire, need and pleasure. She couldn’t stop if she tried.

Spike’s hands moved to pull Buffy’s straps off, guiding the top half of the dress down to her hips, leaving her upper body bare. Buffy arched up as he began fondling her breasts, reveling in the heat and pressure of his talented hands.

“God, Spike,” She breathed, moving her hips in time with him.

“Mmm…” was all Spike managed to say as he gently tugged her dress further down so it was gathered around her knees.

Buffy tensed at the sensation of the cool air against her exposed body. This was as far as she and Angel had ever gotten. He hadn’t ever touched her ‘down there’, but apparently Spike had no objections to it.
Spike deftly moved her thong to the side and caressed her folds, letting his fingers lazily run up and down.
Buffy gasped, squeezing her eyes shut at the powerful sensations.

“Oh,” She panted, her pulse racing as she felt herself becoming wetter by the second.

“Spike I need you to…” she trailed off, having trouble forming the words. Suddenly, her eyes popped open and she critically eyed Spike.

“You’re wearing clothes,” she said and Spike pulled his fingers away, startled.

Buffy almost whimpered out loud at the loss of his touch, but managed to further explain her words.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” she clarified, tugging at his shirt.

Spike smirked. “Well if it isn’t the bossy chit rearing her ugly head.”

Buffy frowned for a second then burst out laughing. “I am bossy,” she said authoritatively. “Now take off your clothes. I’m not going to be the only one naked here.”
She said flippantly, trying to cover up her nerves.
Spike chuckled and complied, divesting himself of his attire.

Buffy’s face flushed as she glanced down. “I didn’t realize you don’t wear…anything.”

A small teasing smile played on his lips and he took her hand, guiding it to his fully erect manhood. “I don’t mind, do you?” he asked as Buffy slowly began moving her hand up and down.

“No,” she admitted, “not really.”

Buffy had given Angel hand jobs before, but usually they were relatively fully clothed, and they weren’t almost about to…oh god.

Spike’s eyes rolled up as Buffy’s hot hand fondled him, but just as quickly as she had started, she stopped.

“Are we really going to do this?” she asked, her doubt clearly displayed on her face.

“I don’t know,” Spike answered, cupping her face. “Are we?”

Buffy stared into his endless blue eyes and found her answer. They’d found their way here and she was too far gone to stop now. She needed him the way she needed air. And as terrifying as that thought was, she wasn’t about to back away from it.

“Yes,” she said softly, then louder, “Yes we are.”

They explored each other’s body, enjoying the feel of the other’s flesh and soon Spike was once again touching her folds and this time, she didn’t stop him.
“God, please Spike,” she begged, feeling her need for release.

He moved his fingers faster and Buffy felt that she was about to explode.

“In…me…” she was able to convey through her moans.

Spike didn’t miss a beat while fishing through his dropped pants for the condom he’d put in there, finding it and rolling it on. If someone had told him four hours ago he’d be placing it on his cock to have sex with Buffy, not Drusilla, he’d have laughed his ass off.

“Luv, look at me,” he commanded and Buffy’s gaze drifted to his face, her eyes glassy, her cheeks flushed.

“Are you sure?” he asked seriously, slowing his hand’s movement.

Instead of vocally responding, she guided his cock to her pussy and rubbed herself against him. Taking that as a ‘yes’, Spike braced himself and slowly slid into her.

Buffy tensed at the sudden invasion and resisted the urge to push him away. She knew from her friends it would hurt, so she tried to relax as Spike ever so gently slid deep enough till he was pressed against her barrier.

“Last chance Buffy,” he told her, gritting his teeth.
Well there was a loaded statement if ever was one Buffy thought, but swallowed her nerves.

With a gentle thrust, she pushed him past her barrier and winced in pain, letting out a small whimper.

Tears came, unbidden, and she closed her eyes to keep them at bay.

“Hold…on,” she gritted through her teeth.

Spike waited patiently, caressing her body and softly kissing her lips before she whispered, “Okay.”

He began to move slowly, not wanting to hurt her more and picked up his pace as Buffy responded beneath him with small moans.

Buffy was in heaven. All the sensations were swirling around in her and god she needed it…needed…

“Oh!” She cried out, shaking as her orgasm overtook her.

Spike shortly followed, letting out her name in a roar.
They laid there, feeling sated and everything felt, well…perfect. They slowly drifted off to sleep, wrapped together in the car.

When Buffy came to she started to stretch, but when her movements were halted, she saw that Spike was still curled around her.

Oh my god, she thought, glancing at Spike. I just had sex with Spike Giles. Suddenly the awkwardness that had eluded her the whole night came back with a vengeance.

She had just had sex with someone she’d professed to hate.

Buffy winced as she sat up, her lower body sore. Shame filled her and she closed her eyes, hoping it would all go away.

“Buffy?” she turned to see Spike stirring and he rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?” he asked, yawning. Buffy glanced at the car clock, 2:30 am.

“Late,” she said shortly and wiggled her gown back on, trying not to look at the big creases in the dress.
Spike sat up as well and pulled on his pants, “Bloody hell.”

Buffy climbed into the front seat and started up the car. She felt gross and sticky; the residue of their spendings and her sweat clung to her skin.

“I need to get home. I’ll drop you off on the way,” Buffy informed him, keeping her eyes ahead as she started the car and pulled on to the road.

Spike threw on his shirt and shoes and hoisted himself into the passenger seat. “Thanks.” The pair was silent, lost in their own thoughts.

Buffy drove down Cherry Street, and stopped at the stoplight. “Which way from here?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Down Horne Street and a left on Brady,” Spike replied.

He snuck a glance at Buffy and saw that her eyes were solely focused on the road; she wouldn’t even look at him after what they’d shared.

Not that he thought something would come out of it, but the least she could do was acknowledge the fact they’d had sex. And, he reminded himself, it was her first time.

Buffy pulled up a few feet from his house and put the car in park. Spike sat there, waiting for her to say something, anything.

“Well,” she began, “night.”

“Right,” Spike said quickly, “See ya around Summers.”

He jumped out of the car and started up to his house. He turned around to wave or smile ,to give some sort of sign that everything would be okay, but Buffy was already driving away.

Buffy blinked in surprise as a salty liquid touched her lips. She was crying, Buffy realized and quickly brushed them the tears away.

She had always wondered what would have happened if she and Spike had actually talked about what had happened that night, said something to ease the incredible awkwardness.

After that night, she’d only seen Spike one last time before he left for New York- at the Graduation Party.

They barely spoke more than a greeting, and Buffy wondered whether it was because there was too little or too much to say. Judging by the complicated feelings she was having now, it was probably the latter.

And now, here they were again; just as confusing as ever. What did she want? Buffy asked herself, but she couldn’t think of any kind of answer.



please don't be mad--I promise this will be Spuffy all the way, but be patient!!

Chapter 13: Questions

Buffy stared at the phone in her hand with a worried look. Her fingers were poised over the buttons, prepared to dial, once again, Spike’s hotel number. The phone suddenly vibrated in her hand, making her jump. She answered it quickly. “Hello?”

“Buffy? Have you heard from Spike?” Willow asked.

“No, I keep trying his number but he’s either not there or not picking up,” Buffy answered, biting her lip.

There was a pause before Willow spoke again. “Okay, well let me know if you hear from him and tell him we’re Bronzing tonight.”

“Will do,” Buffy replied. “See you there,” she finished, clicking off the phone.

She’d been trying to contact Spike since the incident with Riley, but with no success.

After she’d woken up the next morning she’d felt guilty for taking her anger out on Spike and had dialed his number to apologize, but he hadn’t picked up. At the time she figured he was either sleeping, had gone out or was pissed at her.

However, when that night both Xander and Willow called asking if she’d heard from him, nervousness began to creep into her mind and make her wonder if he was really alright.

He’s probably just out and about, she reasoned. After all, it wasn’t like Spike was Mr. Reliable.

Buffy picked up the phone again and dialed Faith’s number, hoping the brunette was up.

“Hello?” came Faith’s groggy voice and Buffy let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey, have you seen Spike recently?” Buffy asked and glanced at the clock, 1:00pm-she said she’d meet the gang at the Magic Box soon.

“Ungh,” Faith grumbled and Buffy could hear a rustling sound in the background.

“Um…Spike?” Faith asked out loud and paused. “Yeah, I saw him last night at the Fish Tank.”

Buffy grimaced at the mention of the trashy bar in the ‘bad’ part of town.

“But,” Faith continued, “I left after a few drinks. Why?”

“I was looking for him,” Buffy replied carefully, “and Willow and Xander haven’t heard from him in a couple of days.”

“Why’re you looking for him? Something happen?” Faith asked, her voice hinting at her suspicion.

Buffy sighed, “Listen, Faith, it’s kinda complicated and I really don’t feel like talking about it right this minute, but I’ll tell you later. Right now I just need to find him.”

“Okay,” Faith responded, “But you better tell me what this is all about later.”

“I promise,” Buffy told her and they said their goodbyes.

Buffy once again put her phone down and reviewed her options. She could try looking around for him, but something told her if Spike wanted to be found, she’d have heard from him by now, what with all the messages she had left. Her other choice was to go the Magic Box and hope she’d see him later. That, Buffy thought, seemed like the best idea right now.

Buffy walked into the Magic Box, intent on seating herself in one of the oversized chairs. She was stopped from doing so by Willow, however, who was looking strangely happy.

“Guess what? Spike’s crashing at Giles’s.” Willow lowered her voice seeing as Dawn was standing a few feet away. “I guess he got really drunk and managed to find a ride to Giles’s and ended up sleeping on the couch.”

Buffy felt a mixture of annoyance and relief at knowing he wasn’t ignoring her completely.

“Drunk? Just how often does he drink?” Buffy grumbled, “It seems every time I see him he’s drunk off his ass.”

Willow smirked, “That’s Spike.”

“What’s Spike?” Dawn asked, her interest piqued by the pair’s hushed voices.

“Nothing,” they replied in union and Buffy ordered Dawn to get back to work.

“I managed to wring a promise out of Spike that he’ll be at the Bronze tonight since he’s leaving in a couple of days. It’ll be his official goodbye, you know, until the wedding.”

Right, Buffy remembered. Spike’s leaving on Tuesday. All the more reason to apologize tonight, that way they’d be on equal footing for the wedding. And hopefully, Buffy added, things wouldn’t be so awkward this time around.

*************

“Tonight?” Riley asked incredulously and Buffy closed her eyes.

“Yes,” Buffy gritted out, “Spike’s leaving on Tuesday and we wanted to have an official goodbye party.”

Buffy shifted the phone from her right shoulder to her left as she studied her reflection in the mirror, applying her eye shadow.

There was a silence on the other line and Buffy wished she’d never mentioned Spike’s name.

The past two days there had been an underlying tension in their interaction and Buffy found herself yearning for everything to go back to normal. And they would, she told herself, after she apologized to Spike and he left for New York, putting a good 3,000 miles of space between them.

“Do you really need to be there?” Riley whined unattractively.

“Yes,” she said shortly, “he’s my friend.”

There was another pause while Buffy pulled on her favorite black leather pants, the ones she hadn’t worn since high school, along with a pretty red silk halter. She eyed herself in the full length mirror and a grin broke out on her shiny, cherry painted lips. She looked good. Really, really good.

“Spike isn’t my friend,” Riley eventually responded and Buffy instinctively rolled her eyes. Like that hadn’t been that obvious?

“But he’s mine and you could at least show up and be civil,” Buffy snapped and then wished she hadn’t. Now, she realized, he would be mad at her.

“That’s not the point.” Riley, surprisingly, snapped back. “You don’t care that I don’t like him!”

“God!” Buffy practically yelled, “Stop being so fifth grade about this! It’s just a party- everyone is gonna be there, not just us!”

“Do you think of me as a chore?” Riley asked abruptly and Buffy blinked, trying to follow the shift in their conversation.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked cautiously.

“It means,” Riley explained slowly, “do you think of me as burden? Something you have to do, to take care of? ‘Cause that’s not what I am Buffy. I want to help you, love you, but I can’t do that if you don’t let me.”

Buffy felt herself struggling to breathe. Was that was he thought? Was that what he was? A chore to her?

“Can we do this later?” Buffy asked.

“Fine,” Riley responded curtly, “I’ll see you at the Bronze.”

The dial tone rang in Buffy’s ear and she slowly set it down and cast another glance into mirror. Suddenly she didn’t feel so sexy anymore and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed for a hundred years.
But she’d made a promise to Willow.

Buffy slapped on a cheerful grin and grabbed her matching black leather jacket and headed out to her car.

What would this night bring?

Chapter 14: Red and Black

The Bronze was nearly empty, with only a few groups scattered around the tables and a DJ playing requests. Buffy easily located Willow, Xander and Anya all sitting at a table, talking animatedly.

Xander noticed her first and waved, “Hey Buffster!”

Buffy waved back and ducked under the stairs to their table. “Hey guys!”

Willow was eyeing her outfit with a wide eyed look, “Wow Buffy, nice outfit…kinda…”

“Slutty?” Anya supplied, popping a peanut in her mouth.

Xander gaped at her leather pants, “I like the pants.”

This earned a swat on the head from Anya as Buffy crossed her arms defensively.
“I do not look slutty, I look-you know…sexy."

“Uh huh,” Willow replied, still staring at her outfit warily, “Sexy.”

Buffy shifted, feeling uncomfortable under her friends’ scrutiny, “Can we stop, please?”

Tara approached from behind Willow bearing drinks and smiled at Buffy and then her glance flickered down. “You look very nice tonight Buffy. Any reason why?”

Buffy shrugged, her gaze trained on the table. “No reason.”

She looked around, “Where’s Spike? I thought you cornered him into coming,” Buffy teased and Willow shrugged, a smile tugging on her lips. “I think he’ll be here soon.”

“Where’s Riley?” Xander asked, stuffing his mouth with chips.

Buffy wrinkled her nose, “Swallowing does help, Xand. Riley’ll be here soon. I think he has some stuff to finish up at work, phone calls and stuff.”

Willow watched her friend worriedly and Tara also noticed Buffy’s discomfort, but neither commented on it.

“Oh, I see him now!” Anya said cheerfully, de-shelling another peanut. Buffy turned to see Riley walking towards them, looking like his mind was elsewhere.

“Hey Buffy,” he greeted, his voice flat, “hey everyone.”

The gang all said their hello’s and Xander offered to get the new arrivals drinks.

“Oh,” Anya said excitedly, “I’ve finally picked out a cake. Hallie recommended this catering company in LA…”

Riley lowered his voice and leaned into Buffy’s ear, “Can we talk somewhere, it’s important.”

Buffy bristled, not wanting to abandon her friends for a private conversation, “Not now. Later.”

Riley looked like he was about to object but nodded in agreement and turned to Xander, who’d arrived with their drinks, and started talking about the Sunnydale college football team.

“Buffy?”

Buffy glanced up from her cocktail at the sound her name.

“Are you okay?” Tara asked, her face sympathetic.

Buffy nodded with a brief smile, “Yeah I’m-“

She was cut off as Spike walked, or more like staggered, over to the table, his eyes glassy and unfocused, a goofy smile on his face.

“’Lo all,” he slurred. Buffy’s nose wrinkled as the stench of his alcohol-saturated breath hit her.

“Jeez Spike,” Willow pinched her nose, “what did you do? Take a bath in whiskey?”

Spike ignored her comment and smiled wider, which just made him look drunker.

“Fine day isn’t it?” he laughed bitterly, “Absolutely bloody fantastic!”

Buffy stiffened as she realized he was being sarcastic.
Willow edged her chair away from him and Buffy followed suit, praying he wouldn’t comment about the other night and get Riley angry.

“Um…Spike do you need a ride home?” Tara asked timidly and Spike slugged an arm around her neck.

“Nope, I bloody well do not,” he said cheerfully. “I want to hang out with my mates,” he paused and turned to Riley. “Except you.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Spike, shut up.”

Spike turned to her, his eyes unreadable. He took a swig of his bottle and scoffed. “Funny thing coming from you, bloody queen of blabbering on.”

Buffy went rigid and her jaw tightened. “I’m the queen of blabbering? Please Spike, you couldn’t keep your big mouth shut if someone paid you.”

Spike’s steely gaze fixated on her. “Piss off,” he growled and Riley jumped up.

“Hey man, back off,” he demanded, drawing up to his full stature which was considerably taller than Spike.

Spike just laughed and pointed a swaying finger at him. “Nice try farmer boy,” he sneered.

Riley’s eyes narrowed and he pushed Spike, causing him to stumble back and begin to laugh harder.

“Ooh,” he wiggled his fingers, “I’m sooo scared of your manliness”. A malicious grin broke across his face, “So tell me something, Finn, does she scream when you fuck her too?”

It went completely silent at the table and everyone stared at the two men. Riley’s face was white and he whipped his head to stare at Buffy, pinpointing her as the ‘she’ in Spike’s statement.

Buffy’s stomach churned and she could’ve sworn her heart stopped beating. How could he? She felt tears pricking her eyes. How could Spike so blatantly betray her like that?

Willow was staring at her best friend looking a little hurt and Anya was uncharacteristically quiet, her gaze trained on the peanut shell in her hand.

Xander blinked, his confusion clearly displayed on his face and Tara had backed away slightly from the group.
Spike, realizing exactly what it was he’d said out loud, looked guilty and opened his mouth, presumably to apologize when Buffy jumped out of her seat and ran out of the club, trying to hold back her tears.

Riley followed her out the back door and saw her sitting on the curb, staring absently at the brick wall. Her arms were wrapped around her legs and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

“So that’s what you wouldn’t tell me,” Riley said with a sigh as he stood on the street, facing her.

Buffy scoffed and tilted her head upwards. “It was four years ago!”

Riley stared down at her, his eyes remorseful. “But you couldn’t tell me.”

Buffy didn’t know what to say to that. Her anger and shame made her turn her head away and after a moment Riley walked away, leaving her sitting alone.

Inside the table was silent and Spike closed his eyes and swore. “Bloody fuckin’ hell.”

Willow stared up at him, finally snapping out of her shock.

“Oh my god,” she whispered and stood up, her chair scraping against the floor as she rushed out in the direction Buffy and Riley had gone.

Tara frowned, watching her girlfriend go, but made no move to follow. Xander and Anya were both avoiding everyone’s eyes and focusing on their glasses, unsure of what to say.

Willow opened the back door to see Buffy with her head in her hands, a lone tear traveling down her face. Willow tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear and sat next to her friend. Her heart went out to Buffy but at the same time, a thousand questions raced in her mind.

“It was him,” Willow spoke, her voice soft, “It was Spike, wasn’t it? Not Angel?”

Buffy nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.

Willow stared at her friend helplessly and instead of asking another of those million questions, she reached out and hugged her. After a few seconds Buffy began to shake as large sobs tore from her throat, making her friend hug her tighter.

A/N: now I know you might be thinking 'what the hell is Riahannon doing? She's chasing the Spuffyness away!'
But trust me, this will definitely work out, just be patient!

Chapter 15: Gone

“Do you want anything else? Coffee or tea?” Willow asked, fluttering around Buffy who was sitting on her couch, curled up with the TV on Comedy Central.

Buffy gave her friend a faint smile, “No, I’m okay Wills. You should head home, it’s getting late.”

“Are you sure?” Willow asked, concern marring her features. “’Cause I can stay over,” she broke out in a grin, “like a sleep over!”

Buffy shook her head and gave her a grateful smile, “Thanks, but no. I’ll probably just head up soon.”

‘Stopping her fussing over Buffy’s blanket, Willow looked up at her friend and not for the first time noticed not only the tiredness but the deep sadness in her eyes.

“Okay,” Willow said softly, squeezing Buffy’s hand briefly before shrugging her jacket on. “Call me tomorrow, ‘kay? Or even if you want someone to talk to tonight, though I can’t guarantee I’ll be all that coherent.”

Buffy let out a small laugh, “Go! I’ll be fine!”

Willow was almost out the door when she turned around.

“Buffy?” She looked up and Willow bit her lip, “When you want to talk…about what happened, I’m here.” Willow shut the door before Buffy could respond.

Buffy was staring up at her ceiling, unable to sleep, when a loud when a loud knock resounded throughout the house. She cautiously made her way to the door and opened it to see a disheveled Spike standing there.

Buffy blinked with shock at the sight of him.

He was panting slightly, his eyes wide. “Luv-Buffy, hear me out. I did a bloody stupid thing-”

Buffy cut him off before he could finish his sentence, her eyes regarding him coolly. “I suggest you leave before I get really violent.”

Spike paused, eyeing the petite blonde warily before speaking again. “Buffy, please, I need you to understand, I didn’t mean to-"

“Say it?” Buffy finished, her arms crossed. “You say that Spike, but I’m having a lot of trouble believing you.”

She started to close the door but Spike was desperate for something, anything just to keep her there.
“I love you!”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open slightly and she froze, her mind trying to processes the shocking words.

Shit, Spike thought, bloody fuckin’ soddin’ hell.

“Y-y-you what?” Buffy stuttered. Did he just say…?

Spike cleared his throat, “Nothing. Sorry I shouldn’t have said that…”

“I can’t believe…you just…” Buffy stopped herself and gave him a glare. “You need to leave, now.”

“No, Buffy-” Spike began, but the door slammed hard in his face, leaving him out on the porch alone.

“Fuck,” he swore, his voice thick with emotion. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, silently berating himself. How could he have been so stupid?

She’d trusted him with their secret, even if it shouldn’t have been one in the first place, she still had trusted him.

And he’d betrayed her.

Spike slowly walked back to his hotel. He needed to leave for now. He’d be back in time for the wedding to do the best man duties, but until then, he needed out of Sunnydale, out of anywhere that Buffy Summers lived.

And right now 3,000 miles didn’t sound far enough.
Spike checked himself out, collecting what meager belongings he had packed for his stay and heading out to his car.

He slid in and checked the gas gauge: full tank.
The engine rumbled to life and Spike pulled out of the parking lot and speeded down the highway.
He flicked his phone open and dialed his editor’s number.

“Hey mate, is that book signing in England still good?”

******************

When Buffy woke from her restless sleep the sun was just peaking over the horizon. Her mind was still reeling from Spike’s words the previous night.
He loved her.

Buffy would like to chalk it up to drunken ramblings but deep down she knew he’d been dead serious. What she couldn’t figure out is why she didn’t notice sooner, if not that he loved her than that he liked her at least, in more than a ‘just friends’ way.

Buffy shook her head, letting out a quiet harsh laugh. How oblivious she’d been to his advances, subtle but unmistakenable now that she was reflecting on their time together.

The way he’d comforted her when she needed it, the heated looks, his kindness, and that kiss he gave her the first night he’d come back. Now Buffy wasn’t all that convinced he’d been drunk at all that night. He’d just been reacting to his feelings, feelings she didn’t reciprocate.

Did she?

Buffy sighed. After last night when he’d revealed the fact they’d slept together wasn’t all that sure she wanted to have any feelings for him.

But she couldn’t deny her body’s reaction to him. The way a single touch made her shiver all over. The way his kisses affected her more than anything else she’d done with Angel or Riley.

Buffy brushed her thoughts aside. No, she told herself firmly, he’d betrayed her, she couldn’t have feelings for him after that. Not after he revealed something so personal to everyone.

With her thoughts somewhat straightened, Buffy crawled out of bed and got ready for work.

*************

Watching a plant grow would be more entertaining than this, Buffy thought, as one of the teachers droned on about exam exceptions. Again.

Buffy resisted the urge to close her eyes and instead reclined in her seat while still trying to look enthralled by the teacher’s dull speech. All of a sudden she felt a tugging on her sleeve and a slip of paper was wedged under her arm.

Buffy discretely unfolded it to see, in Faith’s messy scrawl: ’What the hell happened last night? Willow called me and left a message, said something about you and Spike? Explain, stat!’

Buffy slid the note into her pocket and hissed “later” to Faith out of the corner of her mouth.

As soon as the meeting ended, Faith yanked Buffy’s arm, dragging her to the women’s faculty bathroom.

Faith peered under the stalls, checking for others before hoisting herself up onto the counter.
“Spill.”

Buffy sighed and leaned against the bathroom wall.
“That bad, huh?” Faith asked, her face sympathetic. “Damn.”

Buffy snorted, “You don’t know the half of it.” She paused before continuing at Faith’s expectant look.

“God,” Buffy began, exhaling loudly, “Um…well…Spike said he loves me.”

Oops, she winced, that probably wasn’t the best place to start.

“What?” Faith demanded loudly, her voice echoing in the small room.

Buffy closed her eyes briefly before answering. “We’ve been hanging out a lot lately, just…I don’t know, trying to be friends. Riley hated it and that kinda pushed me toward Spike even more, and one thing led to another… I didn’t really notice, or want to notice, how he felt about me. But then, last night at the Bronze, he told everyone…” Buffy paused, avoiding Faith’s gaze.
“He told everyone about…how we slept together, on prom night,” Buffy finished in a soft whisper.

Faith stood there with a puzzled look on her face before bursting out laughing. “Good one, Summers!”

Buffy’s unchanged melancholy expression, however, immediately caused Faith to stop.

“Oh…” Faith simply said, her eyes trained on Buffy, who looked away. There was an uneasy silence as Faith tried to comprehend the situation. Never being one for tact, she asked out loud. “Why? I mean don’t get me wrong, Spike’s fuckin’ hot, but you aren’t a ‘roll in the hay’ kinda girl.”

Buffy struggled to answer Faith’s question. She didn’t really want to, but it felt good to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge her like Willow or Xander. They were too close, they’d both known her for so long, the idea of her doing something so out of character…it wasn’t something they could understand.

“I guess I was lonely,” Buffy began slowly, “we both were. It was comfort…something we needed. After he left, I just pushed it away, tried to forget about it. It worked, mostly. But when he came back…it scared the shit out of me,” Buffy let out a sharp laugh, “So I made him promise not to say anything to anyone ever about that night. And then he told them last night.”
There was another silence, but this time not quite as uncomfortable as before.

“So how do you feel about him now?” Faith’s voice was unusually quiet.

Buffy glanced at the mirror as if the answer was maybe written on her somewhere.

“I don’t know…I mean he betrayed me, but before then…I think, maybe, there might have been something there. Not even something, it was like the possibility of something. I don’t know,” Buffy’s frustration leaked into her words.

“Maybe you need to find out,” Faith suggested and Buffy balked at her words.

“No!” she shook her head vehemently, “after that episode last night, no way. All he ever does is get drunk and do stupid things, mostly which involve me being seriously hurt.”

Faith chuckled. “Well at least I now know what all that tension was between you guys in high school. Damn, it was like stepping into a friggin’ war zone!”

“Hey!” Buffy protested, “There was never anything but hatred and annoyance then…I think. And why does everyone think we were that bad, we weren’t!” she huffed, crossing her arms.

Faith squeezed her arm gently, “Yes, you were. But high school’s over, B, and you need to talk to him.”

Buffy pouted slightly, “I don’t want to.”

Faith shrugged, “You don’t have to right now, but don’t try and forget about or pretend it never happened. You did that once and it bit you in the ass.”

Buffy nodded. “Thanks Faith. I didn’t realize you can actually give good advice,” she teased.

Faith glared at her. “Watch it Summers, I can fuckin’ kick your ass from here to China.”

Buffy raised her brow, “Yeah, you can try. Come on, hopefully no one’s noticed we’ve been gone for,” she glanced at her watch and winced, “twenty minutes.”

**************

That evening, Buffy and Dawn were resting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, playing poker for M&Ms.

“So,” Dawn began, drawing the word out to multiple syllables. “Anything interesting happen lately?”

Buffy regarded her sister warily, “What do you mean?”
Dawn gave her a wide-eyed innocent

expression, “Nothing! I was just wondering if anything new happened…say, with Spike?”

Buffy glared at her, “Who told you-“

“Nobody!” Dawn protested, shaking her head, “it’s just…he kinda likes you...a lot.”

Buffy sighed. “Tell me something I don’t know,” she muttered under her breath.

Dawn, hearing her, pursed her lips. “Okay then, Spike left late last night and is leaving for an extensive tour in England till the wedding.”

“What?” Buffy said loudly, almost dropping her cards. Relief and disappointment flooded her and Buffy felt a little ashamed at her relief, but at least now she had an excuse not to talk to Spike until the wedding.

“Yeah,” Dawn continued, unaware of her sister’s feelings, “he left a message on Willow’s answering machine,” Dawn paused thoughtfully, “it was weird. Willow didn’t exactly sound unhappy he was leaving early.”

Buffy swallowed nervously. “Yeah,” she lied, “that is weird.”

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Buffy jumped up, “I’ll get it!”

She swung the door open to see Riley standing there, shifting from one foot to the other uneasily.

“Riley!” she blurted out, blinking in surprise.

“I didn’t think you’d ever want to see me again,” Buffy admitted.

Riley swallowed before explaining, “I’m sorry Buffy, for everything; for being such a jerk and for walking away from you last night.”

Buffy sighed, “You weren’t the only one at fault here.”

“I know,” Riley said, but not meanly. “But I still should apologize. It wasn’t my business and I pushed.”

“Things between us haven’t been good for a while, Riley. It took me a little bit to realize that, but they’ve been falling apart,” Buffy told him gently.

Riley nodded, “Yeah, they have.” He paused before continuing. “That’s why I took the offer.”

Buffy gave him a puzzled look, “What offer?”

Riley took a deep breath, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about last night. Dr. Walsh offered me an opportunity to work with Special Ops in South America.”

“Wow,” Buffy replied, “that’s amazing.”

“Yeah it is,” Riley began fidgeting again, “It’s for ten months and…I leave at midnight.”

Buffy froze, “As in tonight midnight?”

Riley nodded, “I wanted you to know and I wanted to ask if there was any reason I should stay, not go, I mean.”

He was giving her a choice to give their relationship a second chance, Buffy realized, but at the cost of him never being truly happy- and as much as the safety of Riley appealed to a part of her, Buffy knew she’d never be happy either.

“I think you should go, do something for you,” Buffy told him and Riley relaxed, giving her a quick smile. “Thanks.”

Buffy nodded and pulled him into a chaste hug. “Bye Riley. Make sure you do something cool like save the world from evil robots or something.”

Riley laughed, “I will. And Buffy?” he pulled back, looking straight into her eyes, “You’re a hell of a woman.”

“Thanks. Um, I’ll tell the gang…” she trailed off.

“Good,” Riley replied, “thanks.”

“Bye, Riley. Take care,” Buffy said with a nod.

“You too, Buffy,” Riley replied with a small wave as he walked towards his Jeep.

Buffy stood in the doorway until his car was out of sight and then closed the door with a click.

“Who was it?” Dawn asked from the living room over the noise of the TV.

Buffy sat down next to her, “Um, that was Riley. He’s, uh, leaving. For good.”

Dawn grew silent, “Oh. So you guys broke up?”

The realization hit Buffy squarely and she nodded, not quite sad but obviously not joyful. “Yeah, we are.”

Chapter 16: The Calm before the Storm

Buffy stood outside Willow and Tara’s apartment debating whether or not to knock. She ran her fingers through her hair and shifted from foot to foot. Just do it, she told herself and rapped the door with her fist.

The door swung open and Tara blinked in surprise at Buffy standing there.

“Um…hi,” Buffy greeted hesitantly, “is Willow here?”

“Uh, yeah, she’s in the shower. Come on in,” Tara motioned for Buffy to step inside.

“So,” Tara asked after she and Buffy sat down on opposing chairs, “how are you?”

Buffy shrugged, giving Tara a small smile, “I’m okay, the last couple of days have been kinda…whoa.”

Tara nodded, “Yeah, they have been.” She paused before adding, “for what it’s worth Buffy, I don’t think anyone’s really mad at you. If that’s what you were worried about.”

Buffy could feel herself relaxing at Tara’s words, “Thanks.”

The bathroom door opened and a cloud of steam poured out as both girls turned to see Willow step out.

“Baby,” she called, rubbing her wet hair with a towel, “what time is Xander and…” she trailed off at the sight of a nervous looking Buffy sitting in her apartment.

“Oh,” Willow stopped, “hi Buffy.”

“Hey Wills,” Buffy said quietly, “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute.”

“Um…sure,” Willow replied, “let me just get some clothes, hold on.”

Tara stood up, “I’m just going to go for a walk, sweetie, I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Willow nodded and headed into their bedroom. Buffy shot Tara a grateful look and Tara mouthed ‘Good luck.’

Buffy thanked her and Tara left, closing the door softly. Buffy reclined in the chair, studying the various titles on the bookshelves while waiting for Willow to return.
A couple minutes later, Willow stepped out wearing jeans and a shirt, her wet hair pulled back into a short ponytail.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Buffy bit her lip before blurting out, “I’m sorry.”

Willow just glanced down at her hands and Buffy took that as her cue to continue.

“I’m sorry I never told you about…me and Spike,” she said their names in a whisper, “and I’m sorry you had to find out like that. I just…didn’t want anyone to know,” she finished, averting her eyes.

Willow glanced up, her face puzzled, “Why? Why couldn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have hated you. I don’t hate you,” she corrected herself before continuing, “I just…don’t understand.”

Buffy let out a self-deprecating laugh, “You and me both.”

She exhaled, trying to sort her thoughts. Telling Willow was vastly different from telling Faith, mostly because this time it involved telling Willow why she couldn’t tell her best friend about whom she lost her virginity to.

“I guess I was ashamed and angry with myself,” Buffy began, “and I think I still am. It’s just…” Buffy paused, “I didn’t want to believe it and telling you, telling anyone, would make it real. So I pushed it away. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but…I was so confused.”

Willow’s eyes were misty and she leaned forward to hug her best friend, this time in forgiveness rather than comfort. Buffy hugged her back, holding tight.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been mad at you,” Willow’s voice was muffled.

“No, you have a right to be a little angry,” Buffy told her, “but not, you know, forever ‘cause then I’d really miss you.”

Willow let out a little laugh. “So listen, Xander and Anya are coming over tonight for movies and gorging on candy. Why don’t you come too?”

Buffy’s nerves came back with a vengeance, “I don’t know…is Xander really mad?”

Willow gave Buffy a sympathetic look, “A little, but it’s more that he’s confused, not really mad and as for Anya, well…”

“Let me guess,” Buffy said dryly, “She’s been asking whether there were lots of orgasms?”

Willow snorted, “Yeah, exactly,” she paused, giving her friend a sly look, “so, were there?”

Buffy’s mouth dropped. “Willow Rosenberg!” she gasped, “you did not just ask that!”

Willow giggled, “Maybe.”

“I cannot believe you...” Buffy shook her head mock-disapprovingly.

Then Willow sobered, leaning forward, “So will you come over tonight? Please, I’ll keep Xander in check.”

Buffy sighed, defeated, “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

That night, Buffy found herself sitting on her bed, staring down at a picture of her, Willow and Xander piled on top of each other with wide smiles. It was from sophomore year in high school at the park.
Looking at the picture, Buffy was reminded of how important her friends were to her and how much she didn’t want to lose them, or more specifically Xander, over her being a chicken. Go, she told herself firmly, and proceeded to get dress in comfy jeans and a top.

“Hey Buffy,” Willow greeted her friend warmly, ushering her inside. She leaned over to whisper, “Xander and Anya are already here.”

Buffy nodded, attempting to swallow her unease. She entered the living room where everyone was sprawled out in various places debating which movie to watch.
As Buffy entered, all eyes glanced up and there was a hush.

“Hi,” Buffy said, her voice wavering ever so slightly. Willow stood by her side, her infamous resolve face firmly planted on.
Xander glanced between his two friends and cleared his throat before speaking.

“So Buff,” he flashed a welcoming smile, “Which movie? A time honored classic or new-release, over the top comedy?”

Her lips curled up into a grin, the tension leaving her body. She felt lighter than she had in days.
Everything’s gonna be okay, she thought happily. Her friends weren’t mad, Spike was, if temporarily, gone and she felt good.

***********************************************************************

Four weeks later

Buffy wasn’t thinking about Spike, much.

She mostly kept herself immersed in her work, her friends and life in general, but sometimes she caught herself wondering about him. He’d called Giles a couple of times and he’d relayed to them about how England was and how Spike was enjoying being back in the ‘motherland’. Buffy busied herself in helping out at the Magic Box during those talks, wanting to hear about Spike, but not without arousing anyone’s, specifically Giles, suspicion.

“Buffy! Magical Properties and Witches: A History do not go on the same shelf! Good lord!” Anya yelped, rushing over to correct Buffy’s mistake.

“Oh,” Buffy looked down at the two books, “sorry I spaced.”

Anya shook her head, “I don’t understand why you’re here anyway. It’s not like I’m paying you,” she paused, giving Buffy a quick look, “and I’m not going to either.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “I’m not looking for money. I’m just, you know, helping out.”

Anya looked quizzical, “Right, because you’ve done that before.”

Buffy just yanked the books back from Anya and resumed alphabetically placing the books away.

Anya went back to the cash register to help a customer but not without casting a look at Buffy. Ever since Spike had left, Buffy seemed out of sorts. No one was talking about what had happened at the Bronze a month ago and when Anya brought it up with Xander, he brushed her off with a terse ‘let’s not talk about it.’
Personally, Anya didn’t see what the big deal was. It didn’t surprise her that the two blondes had slept together; they’d always had this tension between them.

When Anya had transferred halfway through her senior year to Sunnydale, she’d made the mistake of asking whether Buffy and Spike were a couple after listening to Buffy ramble on for about ten minutes about the bleached blonde. At Buffy’s horrified expression, Anya quickly apologized, but noticed that both blondes always talked about each other, not necessarily in the nicest manner, but enough that Anya wondered if they had hidden less than hating feelings for each other.

Buffy held Silent Dreams in her hands, looking for its correct placement. She trailed a finger over the bindings until she found it. After placing it in its proper spot, Buffy’s eye caught on Spike’s novel, a left over from his book signing, and she unconsciously fingered the spine. Seeing the long lines of people waiting to have their book signed, Buffy had briefly contemplated reading his book, but shot it down, reminding herself how cocky Spike had been about it and if he saw her reading it he’d never let her hear the end of it.

But now her desire to read it grew and Buffy knew she couldn’t just buy it without Xander finding out and then telling Willow. Buffy bit her lip, casting a discretely look at Anya to see she was busy. With quick movements, Buffy took the novel off the shelf and stuffed it in her bag. Without a second thought, Buffy yelled goodbye to Anya and raced out the door, not stopping till she made it to her car.
Safely in her car, Buffy took it out and stared down at the revealing cover.

“I’m officially insane,” she said out loud and started her car, driving back to her house.

Buffy walked up to her room, shutting the door and took out Spike’s book from her bag. She curled up on her bed, kicking off her shoes and began to read.
About five pages into the book, Buffy remembered why she hadn’t read a book since college, it was boring.
Sighing, Buffy flipped towards the middle of the book, skimming over the lines till she came to a very interesting scene. Buffy slowed down, entranced by the erotic words.

”…Jake coasted a cool finger down the side of Erica’s neck, caressing her collarbone. She shivered under his touch and he could hear her pleading whispers. Jake pressed Erica into the silky pillows, his body flush against hers…”

Swallowing hard, Buffy continued to read as the scene became hotter, making her flush. Whoa, Spike definitely knew how to put words to a good affect. She shifted on her bed and lifted her hair off her neck. The room’s temperature seemed to have skyrocketed and Buffy shrugged off her jacket, not missing a single letter.

Five sex scenes later, Buffy had moved so she was on her stomach, the book resting against her pillows. Spike had the amazing capability to capture the erotica and sexiness of sex without making it crude or something straight out of a cheap porn flick.
She found herself at the end of the book and frowned. Unbelievable, she scolded herself; she’d skipped through just to read the sexy parts. Flipping back to the beginning, Buffy was determined to read the book through.

She lazily read it, skimming over parts that didn’t interest her as much. Though, she admitted, Spike did have a pretty good writing style. She was finishing the end of chapter one when a name caught her eye. Muffy.
Buffy frowned, puzzled at the name, wondering what Spike was thinking naming a character something so disturbingly peppy. She began to read faster as Muffy’s character formed and Buffy started to make connections to…no way.

Muffy, she’d learned, was a hazel-eyed, ditzy blonde cheerleader who was also the Slayer, killer of vampires and demons. She was bitchy, stuck-up, temperamental, and seemed to have no commonsense. She won her battles purely on luck, with the occasional help from her friends. And, Buffy discovered, Muffy died by the end of chapter three in the hands of no other than Jake.

Buffy’s mouth dropped open in shock and she slammed the book shut. Spike had invented a character from his high school vision of her!
She wasn’t sure whether to cry or scream in fury at her realization.

Well, Buffy thought bitterly, if she’d doubted his ‘love’ for her, this was the proof.
Buffy couldn’t help but wonder why Spike needed to create a character like Muffy. Was it some sort of childish way of getting back at her?

Buffy angrily shoved her jacket and shoes back on, firmly set on confronting Willow. Surely her friend would have had to make the eerie connection between Muffy and Buffy. She scoffed, even the names rhymed. Though, Buffy sniffed, hers was way better.

Buffy sped to Willow’s apartment, hoping her friend was home. She rapidly climbed the stairs, not bothering with the elevator, until she was in front of the couple’s door.
She pounded loudly on it, her jaw clenched.

Willow opened the door and blinked in surprise, “Buffy? What are you doing here? Not that it’s bad, but-“

Buffy cut off her friend’s babble, “Muffy. Splainy.”

Willow went quiet and began nibbling on her lip nervously. “I was wondering when you’d get around to reading his book. And in Spike’s defense, he changed the name.”

Buffy gave her a look. “To Muffy,” Buffy said the name with disdain.

Willow shrugged, “Okay, not the best, but I asked Spike about it-“

Buffy cut her friend off once again with an accusatory look, “Oh! So there was a discussion about it!”

Willow sighed, “Sweetie, it’s not that bad. So he based a character off you, most author use people in their own lives to make their novel more realistic.”

Buffy crossed her arms across her chest, “Right and most authors describe their character uncannily similar to the real person and kill them in the third chapter!”

Willow winced, “Once again, not the best judgment on Spike’s part, but I don’t think he even really intended to bash you, he just…did.” Willow paused before hesitantly speaking, “And, knowing about what transpired between you two, I think it was his way of, you know, dealing.”

Buffy sighed, slumping in her chair, “Most people when dealing don’t publish their thoughts.”

“I’m not saying it was right,” Willow defended herself, “I’m just trying to point what he was probably thinking.”

Now it was Buffy’s turn to fidget slightly, “There’s something I didn’t tell you, about Spike. I’m not even sure if…”

Willow gazed at Buffy, waiting for her to continue and Buffy exhaled. “After the Bronze, when he told… He came over to apologize and I don’t know if he was drunk, or just wanted to throw me off, or even… I don’t know,” Buffy bit her lip, “Spike said he loved me.”

Willow blinked, her shock clearly seen on her face. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Buffy mumbled.

“He just…” Willow paused, “said it?”

Buffy nodded, not looking at Willow directly.

“Do you believe him?” Willow asked and Buffy’s head snapped up.

“No!” Buffy said loudly then lowered her voice, “I don’t think so.”

“What did you say?” Willow questioned.

Buffy laughed bitterly, “What could I say? I was floored. I had no idea; I didn’t even pick up on the signals till later. I just told him to leave and slammed the door in his face.”

Willow gave her a sympathetic look, “Buffy, I hate to break it to you but you have to talk to him.”

Buffy closed her eyes, titling her head upwards, “I know.”

“Buffy,” Willow said gently, “how do feel about him?”

Buffy was silent. That was the question she asked herself every night and she still had no answer.

“I care about him,” Buffy began, “but I know I don’t love him.”

Willow paused before asked, “But do you like him, as in more than a friendly way?”

Buffy was silent for so long that Willow didn’t think she’d answer.

“Sometimes I think I do,” Buffy whispered, her voice nearly inaudible, “and then other times I have no clue whatsoever.”

Willow smirked, “Welcome to life.”

Chapter 17: Plans


A week or so later

Buffy stared down at the long list in her hand with a look of horror. Decorations, hair, makeup, dinner party, host guests, bachelorette party, listening to the bride bitch…the list just kept going.

“You want me to do all this?” She asked, her eyes wide.

Anya, who was moving table arrangements, glanced up, “Of course. Those are your duties as the maid of honor.”

Both girls were sitting in Anya and Xander’s apartment late Tuesday evening working on wedding details. Buffy was at lost at what to do, seeing as the only wedding she’d ever been to was her Aunt Lyz’s when she was five.

“Oh! Buffy,” Anya reached over for her list, “Make sure you add something about practicing your speech with Spike.”

Buffy froze, her pen in hand, “Uh…practice?” She vaguely remembered Anya mentioning it before.

Anya gave her a weird look, “Of course! How else are your coordinating speeches going to work?”

Before Buffy could protest, the phone rang and Anya jumped up to answer it. “Hello?”
There was a pause before Anya’s face brightened, “Oh Hallie, hi! Did you see the dresses? I wasn’t sure whether…”

Buffy tuned out Anya’s bubbly chatter, her mind drifting. It was only ten days to the wedding and everyone was rushed, especially her and Anya. They’d finalized the photographer and the party arrangers, or whatever Anya called them. Buffy had triple-checked with the catering service and with the bakery. Anya had confirmed with the bridal shop for the dresses and tuxes. Now all that was left was to successfully host the dinner and wedding.

Joy, Buffy thought glumly. A sudden vibration on her hip made her jump slightly and she pulled out her cell phone, flipping it open and saw ‘Home’ flashing on the screen. “Hey Dawn. Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Dawn replied with a yawn, “When are you coming home?”

Buffy glanced over at Anya pacing rapidly, her mouth moving a mile a minute. “Probably not for at least another hour. Go to sleep, I’ll come in and say good night when I get back.”

Dawn made a sympathetic noise, “Have fun.”

“Oh, you know I will,” Buffy replied, her voice tinged with sarcasm. The sisters said their goodbyes and Buffy placed her phone back into her pant pocket.

“Buffy?” Anya called, “Can you get me my phone book?” Buffy let out a sigh and trudged over to Anya, book in hand.

Will this ever end? Buffy wondered.

**************************

Spike sat in his seat on the airplane, shifting uncomfortably. Bloody airplanes, he thought with a wince. He’d never liked airplanes, being so high in the air always made him feel unsettled and nervous. And that’s not the only reason you’re feeling nervous now, he told himself.

It was because of Buffy. He’d resisted the urge to call her since he’d been in England, trying as hard as he could to give her space. A part of him was furious at her for brushing his declaration of love for her as a drunken slip all because she liked to live in denial when things didn’t go her way.

But god he loved her.

Spike exhaled noisily, rubbing his head. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the way he felt about her. She was amazing. As simple as the statement was, it summed up everything about Buffy Summers. Her determination, her loyalty, her kindness, though it wasn’t usual directed at him, and her all-around strength both physical and mental. And, he thought with a chuckle, the fact that all that came in a tight little blonde package didn’t hurt.

Spike had always been attracted to her. The first time he had met her, the spark of anger in her eyes and the sway of her hips had entranced him. But as the years progress, he’d made himself believe all it he felt was hatred for her.

Until that night.

Something in him snapped and an inkling of hope had seeped back into his mind. The idea that maybe…maybe they could be together, that there was something more there. And till Buffy gave him the cold brush off, he’d thought she’d felt it too.

Then he’d made the choice to return four years later, figuring they’d both matured, overcome their petty annoyance and he could try again. Spike knew everything had been going fairly well, except for Buffy’s lunkhead of a boyfriend, till he blew it. His hope had been crushed once more, but at least this time it was a legitimate reason. Spike could fully admit he’d buggered everything up, but he wanted to try again. After all, third times the charm and Spike Giles wasn’t one for giving up.

Suddenly the loudspeaker crackled to life. “Please fasten your seatbelts and we will arrive in Sunnydale, California shortly.”

*****************************

The next afternoon, Buffy and Dawn entered their house, tossing bags and coats on the floor.

“Blech!” Dawn grumbled, “I can’t believe how much homework I have!”

Buffy settled herself on the couch, propping her feet up on the table. “Ugh, tell me why I applied for this job?”

Dawn reclined her head on the sofa and closed her eyes, “’Cause we need to pay the bills.”

Buffy nodded slowly, “Right, forgot about that.” She let out a loud yawn. Anya had kept her till past midnight, fine-tuning all the seating and living arrangements. Buffy was now saddled with two of Xander’s relatives who were too lazy to pay for a hotel. She winced; having guest meant preparing her old room into a mature-looking guestroom with clean sheets.

Yay, Buffy thought sarcastically, more work.

“Are we meeting everyone at the Magic Box later?” Dawn asked, turning on the TV.

Buffy sighed, “Yeah. Anya and I are finding-“ Buffy stopped, her eyes wide. She cleared her throat, glancing at her sister quickly. “Uh, flowers. We’re finding more flowers.”

Dawn raised an eyebrow, giving her sister a ‘that didn’t fool me’ look. “Uh-huh.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Okay! We’re finding strippers for the bachelorette party. A party which you are in no way under any circumstances invited to.”

Dawn scoffed, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder. “Please Buffy, I’ll be eighteen in three months. I could order my own strippers then.”

Buffy’s eyes went round and Dawn quickly added, “Not that I would. No siree.”

Dawn’s cell phone rang and she jumped up to answer it, grateful for the interruption. “Hello?” she asked.

Dawn paused for a minute, before gesturing to Buffy she was going upstairs.

Probably her Janice and her latest boy problem, Buffy thought dismissively and search the TV for a different channel, anything to get away from the hideous noise of the latest boy-band. Moments later, her stomach grumbled and Buffy stood up to ask Dawn if she wanted a snack as well. She climbed the stairs and paused outside of Dawn’s room, unintentionally catching bits of her conversation

“…Just trust me, okay? This will work out fine. I know what I’m doing.”

Buffy rapped on the door, “Dawn, do you want a snack? I’m having a major craving for popcorn.”

She heard something crash accompanied by a high-pitch yelp and the door flew open, revealing a breathless Dawn. “Jeez! Startle much?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Maybe if you weren’t such a spaz. So, do you want something to eat?”

Dawn nodded, “Sure, I’ll be down in a sec.”

Buffy nodded and headed back downstairs to fix herself and Dawn some apples and popcorn. As she was slicing apples, Buffy’s mind drifted off to her main concern lately. Spike.

He was supposed to arrive with in the next couple of days for the wedding and her nerves were shot to hell. She had no idea what she was going to do when she saw him. They still needed to have that talk. Buffy sighed. If she’d thought things had been confusing when Spike left after high school, then this was ten times worse.

In the past month, Buffy had tried to come up with a clear definition for what Spike meant to her, but he just fell in the murky, gray area that she hated so much. Maybe, Buffy thought optimistically, talking to him again at the wedding will help. And maybe, they could really move on, no more lingering strings.

“Hey Buff, ready to go?” Dawn asked as she entered the kitchen, snagging a couple apple slices.

“Huh?” Buffy blinked and shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Yeah, let me just grab my bag.”

Buffy’s distraction seemed to affect her driving and Dawn said a quick prayer of thanks to whatever god spared her.

“God Dawn, melodramatic much?” Buffy snapped, feeling a little embarrassed as she almost hit a little old lady crossing the street.

Dawn’s mouth dropped and her eyebrows shot up, “Buffy you almost hit the poor lady!”

Buffy scoffed, “She was still on the sidewalk!”

Somehow they made it to the Magic Box in one piece with just a little dent on the door.
Dawn had informed the others of her horrific driving and the group teased her mercilessly and Buffy sat down the chair, sulking.

“Oh sweetie,” Willow said suppressing a little giggle. “You know we love you but if your driving was worse than usual…”

Xander sniggered and even Giles broke out into a small grin, which he tried to keep hidden. Anya seemed to be the only not laughing; she was too occupied talking to Hallie, who had arrived that morning, about the flowers.

Buffy felt a twinge of guilt and she notice Xander’s face fall at the sight of a very stressed out Anya.

Xander nodded his head in his fiancé’s direction, “I’m gonna go see what that’s about.”

Buffy gave him an encouraging smile, “You should. I think she’s kinda freaking.”

Xander let out a little laugh, “She’s not the only one. With half of my family here, I don’t think I’ve had so much alcohol missing since Spike decided to have a massive drinking contest junior year.” His reference to his family was tinged with bitter, something Buffy picked up on and gave him a sympathetic smile.

She tried to look positively for him, “Think they’ll be gone by the end of the week and you and Anya will be in Hawaii soaking up the rays.”

Buffy paused as his words replayed in her mind, “Wait, what drinking contest?”

“Well,” a very familiar accented male voice drawled, “I think it was ‘round the end of the year and the whelp here thought he could drink me under the table. Fairly certain I won when Harris wouldn’t come out of the bathroom.”

Buffy turned, her words caught in her throat, to see Spike standing in the enterence of the shop, thumbs looped through his belt loops.

Spike’s eyes caught hers and he flashed his patented smirk, “Hello Buffy.”

Chapter 18: Holding Back

Buffy’s voice seemed to have abandoned her and she swallowed uneasily as Spike sauntered to the table where she and Xander were sitting.

Both Xander and Willow shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to say. Anya gave Spike a brief wave before returning back to the heated conversation with Hallie about flowers. Buffy sat there silently, her gaze fixated on the table, her mind racing. Her lips thinned in annoyance as Spike shot glances at her, obviously trying to get her attention.

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen, Buffy thought with a huff. She was supposed to be prepared, more composed and instead Spike’s presence was throwing her off balance; she was having trouble forming clear thoughts.

Giles walked over to his nephew and shook his hand, “Erm, it’s good to see you again. How was England?”

“Still as rainy as ever,” Spike replied and both British men shared a chuckle.

“Hey man,” Xander greeted friendly enough, but there was a slightly guarded tone to his voice.

Willow’s head snapped up from her book and she gave Spike a small smile before saying, “Welcome back.”

Tara gave him a smile as well, before returning to her homework.

Dawn enthusiastically hopped down from the counter top and hugged Spike.
“So did you bring me back anything?” Dawn asked eagerly, her eyes wide and hopeful.

Spike laughed, “I’m not giving you soddin’ anything thing till you stop pestering me.”

Dawn mocked zippering her lips, “Check: no pestering.”

Spike gave her a look but reached into the deep pockets of his duster and pulled out a little velvet box. Dawn opened it to see a sliver heart topped with a small garnet on a delicate chain.

Her voice escalated to an ear-piercing pitch. “Omigod! I love it!” She proceeded to undo the clasp and put it on, fingering the charm lightly. “Thank you soooo much.”

Buffy watched as Dawn happily eyed her necklace, completely entranced by it. Buffy ignored the sinking feeling of disappointment that Spike hadn’t gotten her anything. Not that she’d take it, she reminded herself. Anything she accepted from Spike might be construed as a peace offering, or worse a declaration of her love. Nope, she didn’t want any shiny jewelry from Spike. Really.

Dawn was now rambling on about her latest crush, Josh, since Scott turned out to be in Dawn’s words ‘totally lame.’ Spike was pretending to listen with rapt interest, but his mind kept wondering to the blonde sitting not more than five feet from him. He could see Buffy out of his peripheral vision, her rigid poster and stony expression. She was clearly uncomfortable in his presence and while a part of him enjoyed making her squirm just a little, he knew they needed to talk, soon.

Tara had distracted Dawn long enough with questions about Josh for Spike to lean over and whisper in Buffy’s ear. “Can we talk?”

Buffy scoffed. “No, not now and I’m starting to think not ever,” she hissed, scooting her chair away from his. Buffy wanted to smack herself. Why did she say exactly the opposite of what she wanted to say around Spike? Suddenly, the room became too small. She had to get out of there, now.

“Bu-“ Spike began but Buffy held her hand up as if to physically stop his words.

“No! I have to go, now. There’re things I have to do,” Buffy said lamely and stood up quickly, nearly knocking over a stack of books.

“Dawn, let’s go,” Buffy commanded, avoiding everyone’s puzzled looks. “Anya I’ll call you later.”

Anya frowned, watching as Buffy practically ran for the exit, Dawn following reluctantly. Spike’s gaze stayed trained on Buffy as left, the door slamming shut behind her.

Everyone’s stares slid from Buffy’s hasty exit to Spike sitting in his chair, watching the door with barely hidden hurt expression. At their looks, he quickly dropped his pained expression, trying desperately to ignore the sting of Buffy’s rapid departure.

“Well…” he began awkwardly, “I should probably head out as well. See you all later. Whelp, we still on for a pool game later?”

Xander nodded and gave an attempt at a smile, “Yeah. Be prepared to weep Billy.”

Spike nodded goodbye to the others before leaving, his duster billowing behind him.

No one spoke for a moment, the awkwardness still hanging in the air.
Hallie cleared her throat, “I should probably go as well. Anya, we’ll talk later.”

“Of course,” Anya replied, “You have to come over tonight and help me decided how to do my hair for the wedding.”

As soon as Hallie’s dark curls were out of sight, Willow let out a deep breath.
“There’s something I have to tell you guys.”

Her friend’s looked at her expectantly and Willow nervously fiddled with her pencil.

“Dawn and I came up with a…well a plan.” At their confused expressions, Willow clarified, “A plan to get Spike and Buffy together.”
There was a dead silence for a moment as everyone processed Willow’s words.

Tara sighed, speaking first. “Sweetie I know you want to help but I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

Xander raised his hand, “I second that motion. Wills, come on. Do you really want to get between them? That’s just asking for a disaster and I for one would like to avoid that.”

Anya nodded vigorously, “Absolutely. We cannot have the best man and maid of honor in a fight during my wedding.”

Willow rolled her eyes, “Anya, they already are! Dawn and I have it under control; we just need help from everyone. They’re meant for each other, you can’t tell me you don’t see it. Spike loves Buffy and Buffy, whether she knows it or not, really likes Spike. Maybe more than that, but Buffy’s too stubborn to do anything about it.”

There was another pause as everyone contemplated the truth in her words. Xander spoke reluctantly, “What do you want us to do?”

Willow smiled beatifically. “Well first…”

********************************************************

Xander ran his hand through his hair for the hundredth time and surveyed the crowd, looking for Spike. They’d agreed to meet at The Bronze at nine, but it was already past nine-thirty and no neon yellow haired man in sight.

“Spike man, where the hell are you?” Xander mumbled to himself and went over to the bar to order a beer.
Normally he would have gone home by now, but with Hallie there working on Anya’s hair, he opted to stay out of the way for the night. Plus, as much as he loved his fiancé, Hallie freaked him out a little. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she just seemed…off.

There was a tap on his shoulder. “Hey Harris.”

Xander turned to see Spike looking a little worse for wear. His usually slicked back hair was a mess of curls and his eyes were a little puffy, like he’d either been crying or he was drunk. Xander would bet money that it was a bit of both.

“Hi,” he stood up, “ready for our game?”

Spike nodded and they walked over to the tables. “You break.”

Xander did so and soon the game was well underway. Xander was competent enough as a pool player, having played most nights in high school, but Spike had a true knack for the game. Which was why Xander was having his ass kicked.

“Damn,” Xander swore good-naturedly, “That was good!”

Spike just shrugged and bent forward, lining up his next shot. His hair glinted in the lights looking tinged with blue. “You just suck whelp.”

“I do not!” Xander said defensively and huffed, “I can beat anyone of those college frat boys over there.”

Spike scoffed, “Who can’t?”

Just as Spike was about to make his shot, Xander asked suddenly, “So what’s with you and Buffy?”

The question jarred Spike and he missed completely, sending the ball rocketing off the table. “What?” he asked loudly.

Xander shrugged, “Things were tense earlier, just wondering.”

Spike straightened giving Xander a ‘are you stupid?’ look. “In case you forgot, I said some things that weren’t exactly of sharing variety. Got Summers pissed at me and now we’re not talking. End of story.”

“Bullshit,” Xander announced, surprising Spike. “There’s a hell of a lot more to that story. I’m not the smartest guy but even I could see there’s more than you or Buffy are letting on.”

Spike stared at his friend straight in the eye, “What? Is this the part where you tell me to fuck off and leave Buffy alone?”

Xander met his friend’s gaze squarely. “You hurt Buffy,” he said quietly, “So yeah, I’m a little pissed at you. But it’s kinda obvious that Buffy has less than hate-y feelings for you.”

Spike scoffed, “Yeah and I’m sproutin’ wings.”

Xander regarded him seriously, “Believe whatever you want, but she likes you. We all know Buffy doesn’t exactly say what’s on her mind, she’s not the one who’s gonna be broadcasting her love declarations. But if you really do love her.” Spike’s eyes widened at those words however Xander just continued. “Then prove it.”

Spike stared down at the pool table. “I’m not sure how,” he admitted quietly.

Xander shrugged, “Be the man she needs.”

Chapter 19: Reunion

“Buffy!” Dawn shook her sister, trying to wake her up. Buffy just grumbled her response and burrowed her head under her pillow.

Dawn planted her hands on her hips. “BUFFY!” She yelled and Buffy shot up, wincing as the sunlight pierced her eyes.

“Ungh,” Buffy mumbled, rubbing her eyes and smoothing her rat’s nest hair. She really needed a shower and a brush, stat.

Dawn looked down at her sister expectantly, “Willow called. Angel, Cordy, Fred and Wes are here.”

At the mention of wedding guests, Buffy’s widened and she flew out of bed. “Oh god! Xander’s cousins!” She ran into the bathroom, locking the door and turned the shower on.

Dawn knocked on the door, “Buffy, wait! Xander’s cousins are staying at the Sunnydale Hotel.”

Buffy opened the door a crack looking suspicious, “They decided to use a hotel?”

Dawn shifted nervously, fiddling with a lock of chestnut hair, “Well…” she paused, biting her lip. “Spike gave them his suite.”

Why would Spike do that? Buffy wondered. Whatever, she still needed that shower, bad.
“Why would he…? Never mind, I’ll be out in fifteen.”

Buffy turned to shut the door when Dawn called from her room. “By the way Buffy, Spike’s staying here.”


Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Buffy viciously scrubbed at her skin, leaving reddened marks behind. Spike was staying here. In her house. Hell, in the room next door to hers! Frustrated, Buffy yanked her towel off the hook and ran into her room.
She hastily threw on a pair of jeans and a tank top with a sweater. Her hair, still damp, was pulled into a ponytail. The only thing missing was her boots.

“Dammit,” Buffy swore under her breath as she searched her room.

There was a knock on the door and Dawn called, “Come on! Let’s go!”

With a sigh, Buffy placed her hands on her hips. “Dawn have you seen those cute boots I just bought?”

Dawn glanced down at her feet and cleared her throat. “Possibly.”

Buffy opened her door, her eyes zeroing in on Dawn’s feet. Sure enough, her sister was wearing her brand new boots!

Buffy glared at her. “Off,” she commanded.

Dawn reluctantly pulled the boots off and handed them to Buffy who slid them on her own feet.

“Now, go find your own shoes and I’ll meet you in the car,” Buffy told her and went to start the car.

***************************

“How exactly did Spike end up staying at our house?” Buffy inquired, her eyes never leaving the road.

Dawn fiddled with the radio, “Well, Willow was talking to Spike and mentioned that Xander’s cousins were staying at your house and you weren’t that happy about it.”

“Hey!” Buffy interjected, “I never said that!”

Dawn rolled her eyes and continued, “Anyway, Spike offered up his suite and said he’d stay in the guestroom. Less hassle.”

Buffy stopped at the red light and glanced at Dawn, puzzled. “And Willow agreed?”

Dawn shrugged, “Yeah. Willow called me and I said sure, better than having Xander’s cousins with us.”

Buffy frowned, “Oh. I just thought maybe she would…” She trailed off, lost in her thoughts.

Why would Willow agree to have Spike stay with her? Did she forget all about her issues with Spike? Buffy wondered, her frown deepening. Realizing Dawn was saying something, Buffy tuned in.

“…I’m not sure if I really want to ask him or not.” Dawn finished.

“Uh…huh?” Buffy asked, parking the car near the Magic Box.

Dawn rolled her eyes in typical teen fashion. “Should I ask Josh to the wedding or not?”

Buffy locked the car and the two Summers women walked towards the Magic Box.

“Well, isn’t it kinda late? I mean the wedding is on Sunday,” Buffy asked hesitantly.
Dawn sighed and opened the door of the shop. “Maybe. Probably.”

Buffy followed her sister; silently praying Spike wouldn’t be there. As they entered, her eyes caught sight of bleached hair and leather. No such luck. She avoided looking in his direction and ran over to where the new comers were sitting.

“Hey Buffy!” Fred called, a big smile on her face. Her hair was straightened and her clothes more frilly, less jeans and a tee shirt.

“Wow,” Buffy commented, “you look amazing!”

Fred laughed, “So do you! I love your hair.” She leaned over to hug Buffy.

Buffy turned to see a man stand up and opened her mouth to introduce herself when she realized whom it was. “Wesley!”

He no longer looked so uptight, but more comfortable wearing jeans and a plain button down shirt. His shoes actually had scuffmarks on them. His hair was stylishly messy and Buffy was fairly certain that was Cordelia’s doing. A stubble covered his face and his glasses were gone.

“Whoa,” Buffy said simply and then grinned, “look who’s gotten a little more relaxed.”

Wes cracked a grin, “Must be LA.” The pair hugged briefly before a Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Cordelia and Angel, both wearing smiles.

Buffy smiled back, “Hey!” She hugged them both before Dawn bounded over, smiling mischievously.

“Buffy, Anya told me to tell you that she found the strippers for tonight,” Dawn announced skipping away.

Angel raised his eyebrows, “Strippers?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “You know Anya. She insisted it was tradition.”

Cordelia snorted, “Please, she just wants to milk her last night as an unmarried woman for all its worth.”

Buffy smirked, “And you didn’t?”

Angel turned to his wife, arms crossed. Cordelia glared at Buffy, “That was so unnecessary.”

Buffy’s gaze slipped past the couple in front of her to Spike who was talking to Gunn animatedly. Right, she told herself, time to confront him. She determinedly walked over to the two men.

“Hey Gunn,” Buffy greeted.

“Hey Buffy. How’s it going?” Gunn asked with a warm smile.

Buffy shrugged, “Pretty good. Do you think I could borrow Spike for a minute? I just have a quick question for him about our speeches.”

“Yeah, sure,” Gunn replied, “I gotta head out anyway. I promised Xander I’d pick up a few things.”

“See you later,” Buffy said.

“Later mate,” Spike added. He turned to Buffy, “What do-“

She cut him off, pulling him with a hard yank to the back room. She shut the door behind her and turned to him, a scowl firmly planted on her face.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She demanded.

“Doing what?” Spike asked defensively.

Buffy crossed her arms across her chest. “Staying at my house. Why? Is this some stupid way of making me hate you more?”

Spike was silent for a moment, his jaw clenched tight. “No,” he finally spoke, his voice low, “I’m trying to get you.”

“Well don’t,” Buffy snapped, meeting his eyes with a cold look. She spun around, pushing the door open without another word.

************************************

“…And we can put the presents on the dining room table,” Willow said, pointing to said table.

She and Buffy were setting up for the bachelorette party. So far, they had the streamers up, food and cake delivered, and CDs Anya asked Willow to make. Tara agreed to pick up Anya, Cordelia, Fred and the alcohol.

Buffy glanced at the clock, 9:00. The party officially started at 9:30 and the strippers were coming at 10:30, just enough time to get everyone buzzed.

“Buffy, can you hand me the tape? A streamer fell down,” Willow called from the living room and Buffy found the tape and handed to her.

“So,” Buffy began, “what made you decide to have Spike staying here?”

Willow winced visibly. “Okay, Buffy don’t be mad! You don't have to put up with Xander’s relatives, especially ones you’ve never met and you can have that talk with Spike.”

“Well what if I don’t want to? What if I’d rather just forget all this crazy stuff ever happened?” Buffy asked, her voice rising. She ran her hand through her hair, exhaling noisily.

Willow met her eyes and Buffy could see the seriousness there. “Buffy, I know you don’t want to, but that’s the point: if you really want it to be over you’re gonna have to talk to him.”

Buffy sat down on a chair, resting her elbow on the table, her hand on her cheek. “It’s just so awkward.” Buffy looked up at her friend, “He told me he’s staying here ‘to get me’. Whatever that means.”

Willow bit her lip. “Have you ever thought about, you know, giving him a chance?”

Buffy sat up straight. “No,” she said firmly, “I don’t want to be with him.”

Willow wisely remained silent and thankfully the door opened as the women all stumbled in.

Before heading into the living room where the party was getting started, Willow took out her phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Dawn?” Willow paused, “We’re doing Plan B.”

*****************************

Her conversation with Willow put Buffy on an edge and she gratefully accepted the drink Cordelia handed her.

“Thanks,” Buffy said and the pair clinked glasses.

“To Anya and Xander,” Cordelia proposed, “the weirdest couple ever.”

Buffy laughed, taking a sip of her drink. “Mmm…this is good. What’s in it?”

Cordelia shrugged, “Vodka and some kind of juice, not sure what.”

Buffy nodded absently, watching the women dance to the blasting music. The party was definitely going and soon the strippers would arrive. Buffy only hoped they were hot, she could use a distraction.

Buffy and Cordelia sat down next to Fred on the couch. None of the women really felt liked dancing at the moment.

“Fred, wanna drink?” Buffy asked, holding out her own.

Fred shook her head, pulling at her skirt, “Nah, drinking makes me too woozy.”

Cordelia smirked, “That’s the best part. Besides you’re gonna want to be a little woozy when the men come.”

Fred shook her head, “I’m not all that sure I wanna stay for that.”

Buffy squeezed Fred’s hand, “You have to stay, please. I’m not going to be jumping all over them either.”

Cordelia held her hands up in the air, “Hey, married woman here.”

Fred laughed, “It’s so weird, I remember when Buffy and Angel were like this golden couple in high school. Never really thought what it’d be like afterwards.”

Buffy nodded, “I know I didn’t. I kinda thought Angel and I would be married by now with the 2.5 kids on the way.”

Cordelia gave Buffy a look and she added hastily, “Hey, Angel’s all yours!”

“You know what else I always remember?” Fred said, reminiscing. “Spike and Buffy arguing all the time.”

Buffy swallowed, her eyes sliding to the floor.

“God!” Cordelia laughed, unaware of Buffy’s discomfort. “I totally remember that too! You guys would attack each other. Anya and I had a running bet on who’d kill who first. My money was on Buffy.”

Fred glanced at Buffy, seeing her uneasy expression. “Are you alright?” Fred asked, touching Buffy’s hand lightly.

Buffy instantly snapped back to attention, “Yeah, I’m fine! Just,” she paused, “need another drink.” She quickly stood up, heading for the bar area.

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. It’d never occurred to her to wonder if Willow, Xander or Anya had said anything to the others about her and Spike. By the way Cordelia and Fred mentioned the arguing jokingly, she’d guess not.

Gulping two shots, Buffy headed back into the living room on unsteady feet. How many had she had anyway? At least four now, Buffy thought with a wince.

She plopped herself back down on the couch and kicked off her shoes.

“Where’s your drink?” Cordelia asked, twirling her own glass.

Buffy shrugged, not answering her question. “Hey,” she asked unexpectedly, “who wants to dance with me?”

Fred and Cordelia exchanged glances as Buffy stood up, wobbling slightly.

Fred spoke hesitantly, “Buffy…are you sure you’re okay?”

“Peachy!” Buffy said happily, starting to move to the beat. “Fred, dance with me please!”

Fred shook her head, “I don’t really dance.”

Cordelia pushed Fred gently. “Dance,” she commanded, “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll join you in a minute.”

Fred reluctantly stood up and followed Buffy onto the dance ‘floor.’
After a minute or two of awkward dancing, Fred, with the help of a Cosmo, caught on.

The two danced to the fast songs and when a slower one came on, Buffy leaned against the brunette, hugging her.

“Fred,” Buffy said, slurring a little.

“Yeah?” Fred replied, pushing her hair back into a ponytail. She’d abandoned her sweater sometime during the second dance but she was still warm.

Buffy sighed and brought her mouth up to Fred’s ear to whisper. “Spike and I did it.”

Fred leaned back, frowning at Buffy. “You and Spike did what?”

“It,” Buffy explained, stressing the single word. Fred eased Buffy off the dance floor and back onto the couch.

“Honey, I’m not sure I understand…” Fred trailed off, her eyes widening. “Do you mean…IT?”

Buffy nodded slowly, “That’s what I was telling you.”

“Oh,” Fred said simply, trying to processes the words. “When…?”

“Prom,” Buffy replied, slouching into the couch. She let out a snort, “He says he loves me, isn’t that stupid?”

Fred was at a lost for words. “Um…no…I don’t think…” The doorbell cut off her stammering and Buffy sat up quickly.

“The strippers are here!” Anya squealed. Buffy jumped up to follow the gaggle of women running for door, leaving a very shocked Fred behind.

“Well,” Cordelia began, seating herself back on the couch. “This should be interesting.”
Fred nodded absentmindedly, still staring after Buffy. “Yeah,” she said softly, “it should be.”

Chapter 20: Plan B


The wedding day

Buffy groaned as her radio interrupted her deep sleep as it rang obnoxiously at 7:00 in the morning. She stumbled out of bed and blindly made her way to the shower, turning it on.

Yawning, she stripped her yummy sushi pajamas and stepped into to the hot water, sighing in relief as the steamy room slowly awakened her.

Buffy scrubbed her skin squeaky clean and carefully shaved her legs, lathering them up with shaving cream. She managed to avoid any nicks, which was a marvel in itself.

She reached around for her towel which normally sat on the hook, but her hand came back empty. With a frown, Buffy opened the curtain and saw the hook was indeed bare.

“Where did…?” Buffy trailed off as she glanced down at the soggy towel at her feet.
“No,” Buffy muttered, “No way.”

Bending over, she inspected the green towel. Yep, it was hers. Annoyed, Buffy grabbed Dawn’s towel, ignoring the cold damp spots and stomped down the stairs.

“Dawn!” she bellowed, walking into the kitchen. “Did you use my…” Buffy stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. “Towel?” she finished meekly.

Spike was standing there, pan in hand, scooping eggs onto Dawn’s plate wearing her mother’s old apron. Both were staring at her wide eyed.

“Um…” Buffy began, a flush making its way up her face. The last couple of days had been so hectic; she’d completely forgotten that Spike was staying in her house. At the pre-wedding dinner the night before, Buffy had left early with a headache and was asleep when Dawn, and presumably Spike, had come home.

Now she was standing there, dripping in a damp, clingy towel that barely cleared her butt while the two sane people stared at her.

“I, uh,” Buffy cleared her throat and fixated her glare on Spike. “What are you doing?”

“Makin’ breakfast,” Spike said slowly, setting the pan back on the stove. “Want some?”

Buffy shook her head no. The eerily domestic scene made her jumpy and she backed away slowly.

“I’m just going to…” Buffy stopped and motioned to the stairs before quickly making her way back into her room.

She shut her door, leaning against it, her humiliation complete. As if their past encounters hadn’t been sufficient enough in muddling her feelings and making her feel insecure, now she had that embarrassing scene to add.

Not that, a little voice reminded her, Spike had never seen her naked. Buffy ignored that thought, pushing any images of her and Spike naked. Especially naked Spike.
She dried her hair and got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. The wedding didn’t start till 5:00 pm and she still had her huge list Anya had given her a few weeks ago.

There was a knock at her door and Buffy, startled, leaped off her bed. She didn’t answer the door right away; it might be Spike she reminded herself.

“Buffy?”

Good, Buffy sighed with relief, it was just Dawn. Buffy opened the door while putting in a pair of hoop earrings. Dawn handed Buffy the phone, mouthing ‘Anya.’

Buffy took the phone and lifted it to her ear. “Hey.”

“Buffy? I was wondering if you and Spike could meet me at the City Hall, just to practice your speeches again,” Anya asked, uncharacteristically pleading.

Buffy reluctantly agreed. The only reason she was even thinking about being alone in the same room with Spike was the fact Buffy wanted more than anything for Xander and Anya to have the perfect wedding. Even if that meant doing something she’d been dreading since Spike had returned again.

“I’ll just get Spike and we’ll meet you there in an hour,” Buffy promised.

“Thanks,” Anya said gratefully, another emotion Buffy didn’t associate with Anya.

“Sure, see you soon,” Buffy said and handed the phone back to Dawn, who had heard the whole conversation.

“I’ll let Spike know,” Dawn suggested and Buffy nodded while putting her phone in her purse.

Dawn clamored down the stairs and bellowed, “Spike! You and Buffy have to go to the City Hall and practice your speech thingy!”

Buffy winced at her sister’s loud voice. “Jeez Dawn, I don’t think the people in China could hear you,” she said sarcastically.

Dawn rolled her eyes, “Whatever. I’ll see you later. Willow said she’d pick me up around 2-ish or so.”

Buffy was halfway down the stairs when she remembered Dawn possibly bringing her boyfriend to the wedding. “Hey did you ever ask Josh to the wedding?”

Dawn shook her head. “Nah. Besides, this way I can check out any cute guys at the wedding.”

Buffy shook her head at her sister, a small smile playing on her lips. Buffy knew that her teenage-self would have done the same thing. Funny, Buffy mused, how everything changes.

“Summers, you ready?” Spike asked, capturing Buffy’s attention.

She nodded, pulling out her keys, “Let’s go.” She turned to Dawn, “Be ready for Willow, ‘kay?”

“Yep,” Dawn responded and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

Buffy avoided looking at Spike directly as they climbed into the car. She pulled out of the driveway and the pair drove off in silence.

******************************

Well, Spike thought sarcastically, this is fun. Currently, he was sitting in a car with the women he loved and neither of them had said a word since they left the house.

Out of the corner of his eye, he quickly glanced at Buffy. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, her eyes glued to the road and her mouth pressed into a thin line. She clearly had no intentions of starting any kind of conversation with him.

“So,” Spike began, “how was the bachelorette party?”

Buffy chose not to respond, but he could see her hands grip the steering wheel harder, her knuckles white.

He sighed loudly, turning his head away, looking out the window. He wanted so badly to be able to talk to her, like before. To be able to tease her or even, hell, fight with her. Spike hated the tense silence that filled the car.

Buffy pulled into the City Hall and parked in the back. Without a word, she hopped out of the Jeep, locking it and walked briskly into the building.

Already, Buffy noted happily, the party planners had arrived to set up the reception area with tables and chairs, all covered in a thick white cloth. Light green candles had been placed in the center of the tables and matching sashes were tied around chairs.

Buffy spotted Anya over in the corner, talking to an older man dressed in black. Anya lifted a finger for ‘one second’ and resumed her conversation. Buffy took the time to study the worn marble walls, doing her best to ignore Spike’s hovering presence.

“So what do you think?” Anya asked and Buffy glanced up, her smile wide.

“The place looks great. I can’t wait to see it tonight when they’re finished,” Buffy commented.

“Look’s good,” Spike imputed, surveying the tall ceiling.

“Okay,” Anya clapped her hands, “follow me. I have the perfect place for you guys.”

She led them up the large marble staircase to a carpeted hallway. The room was at the end of the hall and was relatively small with plush carpeting, dark wood walls, and a few chairs. There was a minuscule book shelf in the corner that looked like it hadn’t been touched in a decade or two.

“No one really goes in here. They gave me the key to use it in case we needed more dressing rooms,” Anya explained, “Now, practice.” And with that, Anya shut the door.


The two blondes stood there awkwardly, avoiding each other’s eyes.

“Well,” Buffy began and motioned to the pages Anya left, “we should probably start practicing.”

Spike nodded and grabbed the papers, handing Buffy a copy. His hand accidentally grazed against hers and Buffy jumped at the tingling sensation.

She cleared her throat, “Right. Uh. ‘I’ve known Anya since high school and Xander a lot longer…” Buffy stopped, looking up at Spike expectantly.

Spike shifted, “Um… ‘I met Xander back in eighth grade when I first moved to Sunnydale. He and I instantly became friends-“Spike stopped reading and snorted.

“Honestly, ‘He and I instantly became friends?’ I hated the bugger till junior year!” Spike protested.

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Just read it Spike.”

He glared at her but continued on. “We did everything together. We watched movies, played video games, and copied each others homework.”

Buffy picked up at her line, “Xander, Willow, and I were the three musketeers in middle school. We always hung out together. I know both of them like the back of my hand and when I met Anya, I knew they would be perfect for each other.”

Now it was Buffy’s turn to scoff, “Yeah right. Xander was going out with Cordelia then! And Anya had a major thing for Gunn, who was, of course, going out with Fred.” Buffy threw her hands up in the air, “Is there anything true in this stupid speech?”

Spike shook his head, “Doubtful.”

Buffy sighed and sat down in one of the old chairs while Spike sat across from her. “Forget about this, we’ll figure it out when we get up there.”

Buffy tilted her head back, resting her eyes. Spike watched her intently, his eyes a dark blue.

“Buffy,” he began, his voice low.

Buffy cracked her eye open and balked at the serious expression on his face.

“No.” Buffy sat up straight, looking at Spike straight in the eye, “Don’t you dare say it.”

“We need to talk,” Spike finished, ignoring her objection.

“No we don’t,” Buffy retorted, standing up. She had the sudden need to move, shake off that feeling.

“What are we going to do? Ignore it?” Spike snapped, his eyes blazing.

“Yes,” Buffy replied, crossing her arms defensively.

Spike stood up, his jaw clenched. “Right. ‘Cause that worked so well the first time.” His voice was harsh and sarcastic.

Buffy gritted her teeth, “Why do you have to make everything so…simple? A little talk and everything will be better.”

Spike stepped closer to her, purposefully invading her space. “And why do you have to make everything so damn complicated?”

Buffy spun on her heel and walked over to the door, giving it a hard tug. It didn’t budge. Frowning, she pulled harder, putting all her weight into it.

“Thought you were leaving,” Spike drawled, his eyes two pieces of cold ice staring down at her.

“It won’t open!” Buffy explained and accentuated her point with a few more hard tugs.

Spike walked over and pushed Buffy out of the way to try opening the door for himself. Buffy was too anxious to even notice.

Spike yanked as hard as he could several times, but the door remained firmly shut.

“It’s fuckin’ locked!” Spike muttered and began pounding on door, “Hey! Open the bloody door!”

Buffy jerked Spike’s arm away from the door. “You idiot,” she hissed, “You don’t need to be that loud.”

Spike, however, wasn’t listening. He bent down to pick up a piece of paper that was wedged under the door. He opened the letter, reading it before wordlessly handing it over to Buffy.

Nervously, Buffy opened the note and scanned it over. Her eyes widened and she went back to read the words more closely. Twice. Her mouth dropped open.

Buffy and Spike,

Don’t be mad! I know you’re probably very pissed at both me and Willow right now, but hear us out. We didn’t know what else to do, you guys wouldn’t talk to each other willingly so we had to find away to put you two together. After all, desperate times call for desperate measures. We just want you two to be happy.

Love,
Dawn and Willow (Xander and Anya)

P.S. Anya says to get your issues resolved before 2:30 pm.

“I’m going to kill them,” Buffy hissed.

Chapter 21: Problems

The two blondes had been sitting silently for ten minutes before Buffy muttered under her breath. “It’s your fault.”

Spike, hearing this, glanced up from the book in his hands and glared at her. “And how is that?”

“If you hadn’t had to be all ‘let’s get along’ Dawn wouldn’t have gotten this twisted idea to lock us up,” Buffy explained with a huff.

“Right… and how do you know it’s not your bloody fault?” Spike retorted, slamming the book shut. “If you weren’t such a bitch, maybe little sis wouldn’t get it in her head that she had to do somethin’ about it!”

Buffy pressed her lips together, giving Spike a fierce look. “Who gave her that idea, huh?”

Spike’s mouth dropped. “I had nothing to do with soddin’ scheme of hers! All I did was switch places with Xander’s relatives so I’d have a chance to talk to you!”

“Well then,” Buffy snapped, “here’s your chance! Talk!”

Spike exhaled sharply, “Not like this. Not with us yelling our fuckin’ heads off.”

For a moment, Buffy’s face softened. She sat back down in her chair, her feet tucked under her.

“Fine,” Buffy mumbled, her voice considerably quieter.

Spike also returned to his seat and picked up his book. He didn’t say anything, but continued to read.

As long as they remained silent, Buffy assured herself, they could get out without making things worse.

*************************

“Dawn?”

Dawn backed away from the door, a guilty look on her face as Willow approached her.

“Were you listening?” Willow asked, hands on her hips.

Dawn shrugged sheepishly, “Maybe?”

Willow tapped her foot, looking at the brunette teen pointedly.

“Okay!” Dawn confessed, “I was but it’s not like you weren’t thinking of doing the same thing.”

“Well,” Willow started as she pulled Dawn away from the door and led her back down the stairs, “Thinking and doing are two very different things.”

At the bottom of the stairs, Willow grabbed Dawn’s arm, pulling her closer to whisper in her ear. “So, what were they saying?”

Dawn rolled her eyes, but told Willow what she’d heard. “It was quiet at first but then there was some yelling for a few minutes. Now, they’re silent again.”

“Well,” Willow said cheerfully, “That’s good. Right?”

Dawn shrugged. “I guess. It means they aren’t yelling which is a plus, but it also means they aren’t talking which, not so good.”

Willow sighed, dejected. “I just hope they figure something out soon. They still have to get ready, pose for the pictures…” Willow trailed off, staring up at the stairs. “I just want them to be happy,” she said softly.

Dawn gave Willow a small smile. “Me too.”

********************************

“I’m bored.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, not looking up from her cuticles. “Read another book.”

“Can’t. The rest are all in German or some other language,” Spike answered, frowning.

An hour had gone by without any relief and Buffy had to admit she was bored beyond belief which was making her extremely irritable.

“Ugh,” Buffy grumbled, “how long are they going to keep us in here?”

Spike shrugged. “I’m hoping not much longer.”

Buffy sighed loudly, titling her head back to study the ceiling. It was so quiet she swore she could hear Spike breathing, her heart pumping and the faint, muffled voices of the others down the hall.

“Okay!” Buffy blurted out, “we have to do something, anything!”

Spike cocked an eyebrow at her and Buffy huffed, “Like you’re not dying of silence?”

“See, problem is,” Spike said slowly, “you don’t want to talk.”

Buffy gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to smack him. “We don’t have to talk. We can just…I don’t know… play I Spy.”

Spike gave her an incredulous look. “Right and then we can play in a sandbox and eat bugs,” Spike replied sarcastically, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back.

“It was a suggestion,” Buffy answered bitingly. “I don’t like being here as much as you do but at least I’m trying.”

Spike straightened and pointed an accusing finger at her, “You? Trying? You’re fuckin’ hiding behind petty excuses so you don’t have to see things change, people change!”

“Who?” Buffy demanded, “People like you? Spike you haven’t changed a bit since high school.”

Spike stood up, putting his face inches from Buffy’s and tilted his head. “You’d like to think that wouldn’t you, Summers? You’d like to think you can push everything away and ignore the fact that I love you.”

Buffy scoffed, shaking her head. “You don’t love me Spike. You don’t even know me.” She emphasized her point by pushing Spike away from her.

Spike cornered her against the wall. “Really? I don’t know you do I? Then how come I know your favorite color is dark violet, you have a stuffed pig named Mr. Gordo, you like to eat your Oreos dipping them in milk and-“

“That,” Buffy interrupted him, “is all stuff my friends know.”

“Exactly,” Spike relied easily, “We were, at the very least, friends Buffy even if we never admitted it.”

Buffy crossed her arms defiantly; trying to inch away from him but Spike just trapped her, putting his arms on either side of her.

“Hey,” Buffy protested, “let me go.”

“No,” Spike told her, stepping forward so that their chests brushed against each other. “I love you Buffy and I’m not trying to make you mad when I say it, I’m trying to get you-“

Buffy cut him off once again, “To get me? Newsflash Spike: that’s not love, that’s lust and there’s a big difference.”

Spike reached out to brush a strand of hair out her eyes and cupped her face gently.

“Then why,” he murmured, his voice like chocolate-smooth and rich, “can’t I get you out of my head? Ever where I go, I see you. God, I was going bug-shaggin’ crazy in England. Every blonde head I saw, I thought it was you. I dreamed about you every night: dreamed about holding you, about making you laugh, about…” Spike trailed off and looked at Buffy straight in the eye.

“Tell me that doesn’t mean something,” He half-pleaded.

Buffy’s pulse was racing, her breath caught in her throat at his naked words. Did he really…? Could she really…? She had no idea. All she knew was that her defense were rapidly falling and the urge to kiss him was growing stronger.

“You can’t,” Buffy paused, her breath ragged, “You can’t just wake up and start loving someone, Spike.”

“I didn’t,” Spike replied indignantly. “I’ve probably loved since I met you.”

Spike let out a bitter laugh. “Bloody hell, I just pushed it away, but that night…being with you…it made all those feelings come alive again. So if you’re asking when I realized I loved you, then my answer would be after I left Sunnydale. But if you’re asking when I loved you…” He stopped and sighed.
"Maybe that doesn’t count, maybe-“

Buffy grabbed him by the front of his duster, pushing him against the wall, and kissed him hard. Her lips moved eagerly across Spike’s and he responded instantly, a hand on her waist, tugging her closer as the other hand tangled in her hair.

They were kissing with every bit of passion in them, all the desire that had been building since he’d returned, or maybe even before then.

Buffy tugged his jacket off before wrapping her arms around his neck. His words had affected her so strongly, so powerfully. She didn’t think there was anything else she could do but touch him.

Spike divested her of her sweater and pressed kisses down her neck to her bare shoulder.

“Mmm…Spike,” Buffy whispered and he pulled back, confusion marring his features. Buffy just yanked his shirt out of his pants and pulled it off, doing the same to her tank top.

Instantly, Buffy pulled him down for another kiss, pressing their naked upper bodies together, making the blondes shiver in pleasure.

She eagerly explored his muscled chest and Spike’s fingers danced along her ribcage, moving up to her breasts.

At the first touch, Buffy inhaled sharply, the touch sending tingles right down to her core.

“God,” She breathed and her hands quickly trailed down to Spike’s belt, undoing the buckle. Spike hands continued to manipulate her breasts, easing little whimpers out of her.

When he noticed her hot hands unzipping his pants, he proceeded to quickly unbutton Buffy’s pants, letting them slide down her legs. She quickly stepped out of them, standing there in nothing but a little lacy thong.

“Bloody hell, Buffy, you’re gorgeous,” Spike whispered fervently between kisses as she eased his own pants down.

Buffy took him in her hand, sliding it up and down, making him gasp. She swiftly pulled her underwear off before jumping up on Spike, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Their eyes met and she lowered herself on him. They let out a mutual groan and after Buffy adjusted to his girth, she began moving slowly, up and down.

Spike was completely oblivious to the wall digging into his bare back; his eyes were entranced as Buffy rode him, her head titled back in pleasure, little moans coming from her throat.

Buffy ignored the sensation of her legs being squashed between Spike and the wall, and just focused on the feel of him in her, the look of awe on his face.

There were probably a hundred reasons why she shouldn’t be doing this, having sex with Spike against a wall, but right now, she couldn’t care less.

*******************************************

“Omigod, Anya! Wait till you hear about this,” Cordelia announced, bursting into the women’s dressing room where Tara, Hallie and Willow were working on Anya’s hair.

“What?” Anya asked eagerly, trying not to move her head as Hallie ran a straightening iron through it.

Cordelia moved so she was standing in Anya’s line of vision turned to the all the women in the room. “Angel and I were walking up here when we went pass this one room and heard all these sex noises coming from it. You would not believe the decibels that the couple were reaching.”

Anya’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Someone’s having sex here, at my wedding?” she asked horrified. “But I’m the bride! I have the sex today!”

Hallie shrugged, “Some people just gotta do it.”

Anya stood up despite Hallie’s protest that she wasn’t done yet and turned to Cordy. “Which room?” Anya demanded.

“I’ll show you. Come on,” Cordelia told her and turned to open the door.

“Wait,” Willow said, grabbing Anya’s arm. “Which room was it?”

Cordelia paused, frowning. “The one at the end of the hall, why?”

Anya and Willow exchanged looks and Tara looked surprised.

“Um…” Willow began carefully, “I wouldn’t go over there Cordy.”

The brunette shrugged, looking puzzled. “Why not? It’s just some couple…” She trailed off at Willow’s serious expression.
“Okay,” Cordelia crossed her arms, “who’s in there?”

“Um…” Willow bit her lip, not sure how to say it.

“Oh for god’s sake,” Anya huffed, “it’s Buffy and Spike.”

Cordelia blinked and stared at them for a moment before bursting out in laughter. “Omigod, you almost got me there! That would be crazy. Buffy and Spike having sex, that’s like the Easter Bunny and…”

When Willow’s solemn expression didn’t change, Cordelia stopped laughing and her mouth dropped open comically.

“You’re serious,” She said, her voice tinged with disbelief.

Willow made a sympathetic face. “Yep.”

“So Buffy…and Spike are in there…doing…” Cordelia glanced between Willow and the door, unable to finish her sentence.

“Yep.”

Cordelia nodded slowly, “Great.”
There was a pause before she sighed, shaking her head. “Angel’s gonna freak.”

Chapter 22: Reaction


‘Oh god’ were the first two words that ran through Buffy’s head. Somehow she and Spike managed to stumble over to the chairs and she was propped up against it, her back uncomfortably arched forward.

“Oh,” she mumbled and ran her hand through her tangled hair. She glanced at Spike who was still sleeping. He looked peaceful, but there was this satisfied smirk on his face that irked her.

Of course he’s satisfied Summers, she told herself mockingly, you fucked him six ways to Sunday.

Buffy exhaled slowly. So this is what they meant by actions having consequences. They hadn’t even talked, not really. Hell, she didn’t even know how she felt about him, where they stood.

Good going Buffy, she scoffed at herself. A guy says a few sweet words and you jump on him like there’s no tomorrow.

She could feel her skin flushing at the memories of their couplings. They’d been hard, fast and rough; everything Buffy had professed to dislike but god it’d felt wonderful, exhilarating, freeing.

She’d felt like she didn’t need to hide anything from Spike. She could just…be.

The room suddenly felt smaller, like it was closing in on her.
She had to get out of there, she realized. She spotted her pants over by the far wall and ran over, checking the clock on her phone: 2:45pm. Willow would have unlocked the door by now, Buffy remembered. She threw her pants on, shoving the phone back in the pocket and searched for her tank top.

“It’s some where around here…” she mumbled before spying it behind the table.

She leaned over to grab it when her knee came up, smacking against the underside of the table with a loud ‘thunk’.
“Shit,” Buff hissed, nursing her knee. “Ow, ow, ow.”

“Looking for something, luv?” Spike’s sleepy voice drawled and Buffy turned to face him with a glare.

“Shut up. I’m just trying to find my top,” Buffy responded snappishly.

“Why?” Spike questioned, leering at her, “I kinda like you without it…”

Buffy snorted with disdain and pulled her tank top on. “We have to go, it’s a quarter to three and I still need to get ready,” she said shortly, zipping up her sweatshirt.

Spike eyed her warily. Her cold tone didn’t seem all that inviting and he wondered if something was wrong. She wasn’t having second thoughts was she?

“Somethin’ wrong?” Spike asked gently, sitting up, trying to find his jeans.

“Yes,” Buffy snapped. “We were supposed to be getting ready by now and I still have a lot to do. I’m the maid of honor, remember?”

“Yeah,” Spike said slowly, walking over to get his pants. “And I’m the best man. We have plenty of time, Buffy. It’ll be fine.”

“No it won’t!” Buffy half-yelled. She felt like yelling, running and crying all at the same time. She was so stupid. Why did she do this to herself? Buffy closed her eyes briefly, trying to remain calm.

“What to do you mean?” Spike prodded, “They’re the ones who locked us in here, I think they’ll let us get ready.”

“But we’re the ones who freakin’ slept together!” Buffy blurted out, her control lost.

Spike instantly straightened, his eyes cold and his face expressionless. “Oh, so that’s what this is about,” he laughed disbelievingly, “I should’ve known.”

Buffy remained silent and pulled her socks and shoes on.
“You’re regretting this aren’t you?” Spike accused, putting his black T-shirt on. “After everything I said to you…”

“Everything you said?” Buffy asked incredulously. “Spike, you just said a few sweet little words.”

“I told you I loved you!” Spike shouted.

Buffy stood up, her body rigid. “Please, you just said it get in my pants.”

As soon as the words fell from her mouth, Buffy knew they were the worst she could’ve said.

Spike stared at her, dumbfounded before speaking, his voice low and full of hurt. “When I said I love you, it wasn’t because I wanted to get in your pants. It was because of what you mean to me.”

He paused and met her eyes with a steely look. “Get out.”

Buffy knew she should apologize, say something but instead she picked up her copy of the speech and walked out, shutting the door behind her with a soft click.

She walked down the hallway towards the women’s dressing room holding back her tears. Everything had gone so wrong. Buffy hadn’t meant to panic, but the words just came out and she was pretty sure Spike would never talk to her again.

Maybe, Buffy thought, this was a good thing. She could move on and forget. Even as she thought the words, her heart sank and the tears she’d been holding at bay started to fall.

“Buffy?”

She sniffled and wiped away the stray tear on her cheek before turning around to see Willow standing there already dressed in one of the hideous radioactive green dresses.

“Oh, hey Wills,” Buffy said flatly, “Um, I’m going to go get ready. I’ll meet you downstairs soon.”
“Buffy,” Willow began, a concerned expression on her face, “is everything…okay?”

Willow had expected to see Buffy with a sheepishly happy look on her face after all the noise Cordelia had heard. Instead, Willow was fairly certain Buffy had been crying.

“Did something happen with you and Spike?” Willow ventured, reaching out to touch Buffy’s arm.

She quickly pulled away, turning her head away from her friend. “Um, I really should get dressed.” With that, Buffy spun around, walking briskly into the dressing room.

Willow stood in the hallway, confused. After a minute, she went to find Dawn who, she was pretty sure, was down stairs supervising the party planner people.

“Dawn!” Willow hissed from behind a column, trying to get her attention without alerting Anya or Hallie.

Dawn turned around and saw Willow. She quickly ran over, looking puzzled. “What’s up?”

Willow tugged the teen’s arm and led her to the coatroom. Dawn eyed the coats warily and crossed her arms. “What are we doing in the coatroom?”

“It’s about Buffy and Spike,” Willow said seriously and instantly Dawn straightened.

“What happened? Did they come out? Did they look happy?” Dawn asked eagerly.

“Wait,” Willow held her hand up. “Stop.” There was a pause and Dawn anxiously waited for Willow to explain. “I’m not so sure it went well,” Willow began carefully.

Surprisingly, Dawn just sighed. “I knew this was gonna happen. A classic Buffy move: guy gets too close for comfort and she pushes him away. She’s always done that, ever since mom and dad’s divorce. She also tends to go for men she secretly knows aren’t right for her.”

Willow nodded, knowing what Dawn was talking about. “I know. But I kinda hoped Spike would be pushy enough…”

“Yeah,” Dawn agreed, “Spike’s just as stubborn as Buffy, maybe more.”

Willow sighed, looking disappointed. “So, I guess that’s it.”

Dawn wanted to protest, say they could try to shove them together again, but if things were as bad as Willow was hinting…maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

“Okay.” Dawn said softly. “Let’s get back out there, Anya is starting to freak out again about the color scheme.”

Upstairs, Buffy was putting the finishing touches on the dress, namely the matching green shoes and necklace. She stared at her reflection and winced. Radioactive green was so not her color, Buffy decided. She pulled her hair back into a bun and placed a pretty flower clip in it.

With one last look in the mirror, she straightened the dress, rubbed a little lip-gloss on and pasted a cheerful grin on her face.

Buffy opened the door a crack and looked to see if anyone was nearby before stepping out of the room. She really didn’t feel like running into anyone else right now.

She’d almost made it to the stairs when she passed by an empty room, the door partially open. She moved closer to see Xander pacing back and forth, his brow furrowed.

“Hey Xand,” she greeted softly, stepping into the room.

He looked up, startled, and gave her a nervous grin. “Hey Buff.”

He paused, frowning, “Hey, how’d it go with Spike? Sorry, Wills and Dawn forced me to corporate.”

Buffy shrugged. She wasn’t really angry with Xander; he probably had protested the idea in the first place. And to be totally honest, she wasn’t all that mad at Dawn or Willow, they just thought they were doing what was right.

Xander, noticing her indifference to Spike’s name, nodded knowingly, “Ahh, don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Let’s just say it didn’t go to well,” Buffy said dryly, trying to sound unaffected. “So,” Buffy said, changing the subject. “Whatcha doing in here?”

“Actually…” Xander began then his face fell, “Panicking.”

Buffy let out a small laugh. “You? Panic? Never,” she teased and Xander good-naturedly swatted her in the arm.

Xander tried to laugh as well, but failed, his face turning serious. “What the hell am I doing?” he asked suddenly.

Buffy frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this,” he motioned to himself and around the room. “Getting married.”

Buffy relaxed. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now?” she said with another light laugh.

Xander’s face remained serious and Buffy sobered, taking his hands in hers.

“You’re doing this because you love Anya, because you guys are perfect together,” Buffy told him.

Xander looked dubious, “I do love her, but isn’t this too soon?”

“Xander Harris, you two have been dating since freshman year of college, that’s almost four years,” Buffy reminded him.

“I know,” Xander said softly, gripping Buffy’s hands hard, “but I’m not sure we’re ready, if I’m ready. What if…I’m like my dad?”

“Xander,” Buffy said firmly, “you are nothing like your father. You’re a good man and you’d never betray or hurt Anya. Ever.”

“Thanks, Buff,” Xander said and squeezed her hands before letting go.

“You guys are perfect,” Buffy told him, “you’re able to laugh together, talk together, just be yourselves. That’s what love is, being able to just be and…” she trailed off, her eyes wide. “Oh. My. God,” she breathed, “I love him.”

“Huh?” Xander asked, confused, “Love who?”

“Oh god,” Buffy repeated, “I love him.”

“Love who?” Xander asked again then stopped. “Oh, you mean Spike?”

Buffy didn’t answer him. Shocked, she stood there, her mouth dropped open as the realization hit her. She loved Spike. That was what made her so nervous around him. She loved him.

She’d been blind sighted by her own doubt to see it. How her heart fluttered at the sight of him, the way she couldn’t stop thinking about him, the way he made her feel…like she could be simply Buffy.

Not ‘Buffy: Dawn’s big sister’, and not ‘Buffy: the girl who lost her mother’ and certainly not ‘Buffy: high-school counselor.’ She got to be herself around him.

“Buffy.”

She glanced up at Xander and he smiled, “Go tell him.”

A/N: I know---Evil cliffhanger! Don't worry-second chapter should be up tomorrow!

Chapter 23: Together?
Previously:

“Buffy.”

She glanced up at Xander and he smiled, “Go tell him.”

He didn’t need to say it twice. Buffy ran out of the room, down the spiraling marble stairs and into the lobby, scanning the growing crowd.

“Buffy?” Anya called, moving towards her maid of honor. “I need you to find-“

“Where’s Spike?” Buffy asked cutting her off.

Anya looked mildly surprised as she pointed to the back doors. “He’s out there but I really need you to find Xander.”

“He’s upstairs, have Willow go get him,” Buffy answered quickly before squeezing past the guests coming in.

Outside, she looked around, hoping she’d see Spike reclining against the building like all those weeks ago but she didn’t see that head of bleached blonde hair.

Sighing, Buffy walked down the street a little ways, half-heartedly watching out for Spike. After a few minutes, she sat down on the curb, not caring her butt was probably all dirty.

She pressed her palms against her eyes, trying not to start crying. Logically Buffy knew she would see him again later that night and could tell him then, but something in her said it had to be now.

She breathed in deeply, taking her hands off her eyes and much to her surprise a lone figure was walking towards her. One with almost-white blonde hair: Spike.

Buffy jumped up and stood there as he slowly moved closer. He stopped for a minute, squinted and let out a “Bloody hell.”

Buffy winced. “Hey,” she said softly.

“They lookin’ for me?” Spike asked, his voice void of any emotion.

“Um…” Say it, she told herself.

Spike sighed, “Listen Summers, you want me out of your life? Fine. But it kinda works both ways so toddle off and let me be.”

Frustration bubbled in her. Here she was trying to apologize, to say those three little words and he was brushing her off.

“You are stupid!” She blurted out. Okay, not exactly the three words she’d been striving for.

Spike snorted. “Got that memo.”

Buffy just ignored his comment, continuing on with her rant. “You have stupid hair, stupid eyes, stupid clothes and a stupid jacket. A-and you talk stupid-what the hell is a ‘bint’ anyways? You talk in all these British words and no one knows what you’re saying! You’re unpleasant, you smoke, you drink, you’re stubborn ass and,” Buffy took a deep breath, “and I love you!” She hadn’t meant to add the ‘I love you’ part but they thankfully fell from her lips easily, like she’d never had trouble saying them before.

Spike froze, watching Buffy carefully, his mouth open. “Wh-what the bloody hell did you say?”

Buffy was panting lightly as a small smile quirked on her lips. “I love you, Spike.”

Spike threw his hands up angrily. “You can’t possibly be serious!”

Buffy bit her lip. “I know that wasn’t the most romantic way of saying it-“

Spike shook his head, clenching jaw tightly. “You can’t just bloody yank me around like I’m a fuckin’ dog on a leash, Summers.” He started walking past her back into the building.

Buffy reached out, pulling his arm to spin him around. “I’m not! Spike, I’m serious! I was talking to Xander about what love is and I realized everything I was saying I felt for you, with you.”

Spike stopped and tilted his head at her. “Why?”

Buffy looked at him, puzzled. “Why what?”

“Why now? What was it you were saying to Xander that induced this epiphany?” Spike’s voice was touched with sarcasm.

Buffy took a deep breath, trying not to let Spike’s derisive words hurt her. She had to explain, she just had to. “I was telling him that the person you love is the person you can be yourself with, whoever that is.” she took a step closer, “That’s how you make me feel Spike, like I’m me: Buffy Summers. No one has ever made me feel that way.”

Spike looked down at her, “Are you serious? No games, no regretting this?”

“No Spike. I love you,” Buffy replied honestly and Spike did the one thing he could do; he kissed her full on the lips.

***************************

After a few minutes of very nice kissing, Buffy pulled away reluctantly. “We gotta go back inside.”

Spike kissed her neck. “No we don’t,” he mumbled, sucking the flesh lightly.

Buffy groaned softly, trying to focus. “Yes, we do. Besides I want to tell everyone we’re, you know, together.”

Spike pulled back, a real smile gracing his face. “Yeah?”

Buffy nodded, returning his grin. “Yeah.” She pulled him down for one last kiss, and then took his hand.

“Time to face the bloody music,” Spike said, exhaling loudly.

They slipped back inside and Buffy picked up their joined hands, looking at Spike’s watch, 4:15.

“Shit,” Buffy hissed, “pictures!”

Spike swore under his breath and the two blondes moved as fast as they could with Buffy’s three-inch heels to the wedding room. They raced across the marble floor and down the carpeted hallway to the big maple wooden doors.

Spike reached out to open the door when someone opened it from the other side. It was Angel, who was looking annoyed.

“We’ve been looking for you guys. Where’d you go?” Angel asked. His gaze drifted to their connected hands. “Is there a reason you’re holding hands?”

Buffy turned to Spike, giving him a brief smile before facing Angel. “We’re together.”

Angel stared at them blankly. “Yes, you’re standing there together but hand holding?”

“We’re dating, you ponce,” Spike said loudly, his voice expressing his annoyance.

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Way to be subtle.”

“Hey,” Spike protested, “I wasn’t trying to be subtle.”

Angel, looking wildly confused, held up his hands. “Wait, let me get this straight. You,” he pointed to Buffy, “and Spike are…dating?”

“Yes,” Buffy replied slowly. She gripped Spike’s hand tighter, preparing for an onslaught questions and ‘are you crazy?’ remarks.

Angel frowned. “Since when?” he asked loudly.

Cordelia came up from behind him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Sweetie, don’t strain yourself. They just, I guess of now, started dating.”

Buffy shot Cordelia a grateful look while Angel stood there flabbergasted.

“You look a fish, mate,” Spike commented and Cordelia shot him a dirty look.

“How...when…” Angel attempted to question, glancing between the two blondes.

“Um…” Buffy began, glancing at Spike. How was she supposed to sum that one up?

All the sudden, Dawn and Willow ran over with huge smiles.

“Ha! I knew it!” Dawn squealed happily, “You two are so together!”

Willow, only a slight bit calmer, hugged Buffy. “I’m so happy for you.”

Buffy smiled, “Thanks. And see, it only took you to lock us up,” Buffy paused before adding, “Which, by the way, don’t ever do again.”

“Duly noted,” Willow nodded and gave her friend another hug.

“Locking up?” Angel cried, “You locked them up?”

Cordelia leaned over to whisper in Angel’s ear and after a second he let out a screech. “That was them?” he squealed, not sounding all that manly.

Cordelia patted his head. “Just file it away into the ‘never happened’ section of the brain along with that one time you saw your mom and dad-“

“Cordy, do not finish that sentence!” Angel cut her off with a warning look.

The others giggled at Angel’s expression.

“Hey!” the photographer exclaimed grumpily, “You doing this pictures or not?”

They all went back into their poses but Buffy and Spike lingered behind.

“God,” Buffy exhaled slowly, a smile on her lips, “I didn’t know telling them would feel so…freeing and so good.”

Spike smirked, “And see… nothing to be afraid of.”

Buffy nodded, “Yep, it was just me and my paranoid brain.” She reached up to plant a soft, promising kiss on his lips.

Spike groaned softly. “You had to do that didn’t you?”

Buffy gave him a smirk of her own. “Uh-huh. So,” she fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, “about tonight. Do you wanna come-“

“Hell yes,” Spike cut her off, his voice raspy.

Buffy pouted. “You didn’t let me finish.”

Spike kissed her pout. “God you’re adorable when you do that.”

“So tonight?” Buffy said hopefully, making sure he really wanted to come over.

“Of course, luv,” Spike replied, “In fact, I think I’ll stay for breakfast.”

Buffy winced. “My cooking sucks.”

Spike shrugged, pulling her closer. “I’ll cook.”

Buffy smiled up at him. “Wow. If I had any doubt before that you’re the man for me, it’s official. I love you!”

Spike gave her a look, “All because I can cook?”

Buffy nodded, biting her lip. “I really, really suck.”

“Well then,” Spike began, “I’ll make sure tonight is absolutely perfect and you’ll wake up to breakfast of your choice.”

“I like the sound of that,” Buffy said happily.

“Me too.” Spike said while planting a kiss on the top of her head, “Me too.”

Chapter 24: Wedding Bells


“…I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

The room erupted in a cheer as Xander dipped Anya Hollywood-style and kissed her in front of all the guests.

Buffy wiped a stray happy tear off her face, silently thanking god for inventing waterproof mascara. Her eyes went to Spike standing across from her, a big smile on his face as he watched the newlywed couple walk down the aisle.

His gaze shifted to Buffy and the pair exchanged grins as Spike stepped forward, offering Buffy his arm. She took it and they walked down the aisle as well, followed by Willow and Gunn.

“Well,” Spike began, watching Xander and Anya in amazement. “They did it.”

“You’re surprised?” Buffy asked as they exited the wedding room and walked into the reception hall.

Spike shrugged. “The whelp seemed nervous, like he wasn’t sure.”

Buffy shook her head. “Nah, he just needed a reminder.”

Spike looked down at her, a smirk playing on his lips. “And it was you who gave him the reminder?”

“Yep,” Buffy replied, “just call me ‘Dear Buffy.’”

Spike snorted. “You giving advice?” At Buffy’s look he corrected himself quickly. “I mean, uh, you’d be fantastic luv.”

Buffy poked him playfully. “That’s what I thought.” The blondes walked over to find their place cards and made their way to table 2 where the high school gang was all finding their seats.

The pair sat down and were greeted with questioning looks from Fred, Wes and Gunn.

“Oh for god’s sake,” Cordelia huffed, “Buffy and Spike are together. It’s weird but deal.”

Fred blinked. “Oh, that’s good,” she flashed the new couple a smile, “that’s really good.”

Buffy gave the brunette a grateful look. Buffy had the vague recollection of saying something to Fred at the bachelorette party about her and Spike but thankfully Fred was too sweet to bring it up.

‘Drunk Buffy’ equals ‘Stupid Buffy’, she reminded herself. But she had to admit, it all turned out okay. Well, Buffy squeezed Spike’s hand, more than okay. In fact, she could almost say perfect.

“Okay everybody. Thank you all for being here today on this very, very special occasion. And now, I’d like to introduce the maid of honor and best man who’ve written a speech together for me and Xander,” Anya gestured for the blondes to approach the stage.

Well, Buffy winced, that was where the ‘almost perfect’ came in.

“Fuck,” Spike hissed, “where’s the damn speech?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy hissed, giving the crowd a teeth-clenched smile and wave. “I left mine upstairs.”

“Bloody hell,” Spike swore as they walked up the stage. “Okay,” he whispered, “we improvise.”

Buffy stared at him in horror. “Improvise?”

Spike nodded, picking up the microphone. “Just say how you feel and follow my lead.”

Buffy nodded and reluctantly picked up the other microphone. “Just know I’m putting a lot of faith in you right now,” she warned.

Spike flashed her a smirk. “Trust me.” He turned to the crowd. “Hello all. I’m Spike Giles and I’m, obviously, the best man. Now, I met Xander back in middle school and thought he was the biggest wanker on the soddin’ planet.”

Buffy’s eye widened. What was Spike doing?

“In high school,” Spike continued, “we started getting along a little bit better. Mostly bonding over juvenile things I, uh,” Spike cleared his throat, “won’t mention here. It was mostly the fact we had friends in common and we were forced to hang out together. Somehow, along the way annoyance turned to good-natured teasing and now…well, I guess you all know since I’m standing up here giving the best man speech.”

The crowd laughed and Spike turned to Buffy, giving her look to start talking.

Buffy moved the microphone closer to her lips and began to speak. “I met Xander when I was twelve years old. I’d just moved to Sunnydale and it was my first day at the Sunnydale Middle School. The teachers couldn’t be bothered with showing me around the school so they had their best student, Willow Rosenberg, be my tour guide. Imagine my surprise when there were two students at the door, eagerly waiting to show me around,” Buffy paused, smiling down at Willow and Xander.

“Since that day we’ve been inseparable and I don’t have a single funny memory without Xander in it. He’s the guy that’ll always be there for you to put a smile on your face. Hell, he’d probably even make me laugh if we were facing an Apocalypse.”

The crowd once again broke out into laughter and Buffy smiled. Hey, she might just be able to get through this impromptu speech thing-y.

Spike picked up his microphone. “Now, Anya. She moved here in senior year and god was she a breath of fresh air. I enjoyed spending time with her mostly because she has that amazing ability to speak her mind and tell it straight. Xander, you’re a lucky man.”

Buffy saw Xander kiss his new wife at that comment and he whispered something in her ear that made Anya smile.

Spike poked Buffy and gestured subtly to the microphone.

Buffy cleared her throat. “As Spike said, Anya moved her senior year of high school and I definitely noticed how she was willing to say exactly what she thought. At first, we hung out mostly because we both loved Xander, but obviously in different ways. Then, through college, Anya and I grew closer. I couldn’t tell you when it was exactly, but we’ve been very good friends since then. I was honored when she chose me to be her maid of honor, mostly because I’ve watched their relationship grow from a last minute date to prom to now and I can’t wait to see where they go from here because that kind of love can only grow stronger.”

Buffy sniffled and smiled down at the couple, then at Spike who was staring straight back at her, a smile of his own on his lips.

‘I love you’ she mouthed and Spike’s smile widened as he mouthed the words back.

They put the microphones back in their spots and stepped down from the stage where they were greeted by Xander and Anya.

“I should be mad that you changed the speech, but that was so much better,” Anya told Buffy as she leaned over to hug the two blondes. “Thank you.”

Xander stepped up and shook Spike’s hand. “Thanks man for, uh, not disclosing those bonding moments,” Xander joked.

“Anytime,” Spike replied with a chuckle as he helped Anya back into her seat while Xander and Buffy lingered for a moment, wanting a minute alone.

He hugged her tight. “That was an awesome speech up there, Buff. You gonna be running for office anytime soon?”

Buffy snorted. “Yeah right.” She squeezed his hand briefly. “So did my advice work?”

A smile quirked on Xander’s lips. “Actually it was more the part where you had your little epiphany about Spike,” he added quickly at her look, “but yeah, your advice was terrific.”

Buffy mockingly slugged him in the arm and they exchanged grins.

“Well,” Xander clapped his hands, “time for the food.”

**************************

Three hours later, the food had been taken away, the cake cut and served, and now most people were out on the dance floor, a slow song playing.

Buffy wrapped her arms tighter around Spike’s neck, pulling him down for a short, sweet kiss. “Mm…” she sighed. Somehow the supposedly short kiss turned into a long one, their tongues intertwined.

Spike’s grip around her waist tightened and he leaned down, his lips grazing her ear. “I want you.”

Buffy shivered at the raw need in his voice and nodded slightly. “Me too,” she whispered, her voice nearly inaudible but making Spike inwardly groan all the same.

“Luv,” he said softly, a smirk forming on his lips, “you ready to go?”

Buffy, without words, pulled away, her hand firmly gripping his, and went in search of Willow.

Spotting her dancing with Tara, she hesitantly tapped Willow’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Willow turned to face Buffy, “hey Buff.”

“I was wondering,” Buffy began, biting her lip nervously, “if you would let Dawn sleep over at your place tonight?”

At her hopeful expression, Willow nodded. “Sure, I’m pretty certain Dawnie won’t mind staying with us,” Willow broke out in a teasing grin, “have fun you guys.”

Buffy could feel a faint blush on her cheeks. “Thanks Wills.”

She pulled Spike with her up the stairs to the dressing room to get her belongings. “Okay, I just need to find my brush. I know I brought it here with me…” Buffy trailed off, her hands on her hips, muttering to herself.

Spike snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Buffy spun around to tell him to bring his stuff with them but was stopped when Spike leaned down and captured her open mouth in a heated kiss.

Buffy instantly melted in his arms, kissing him back passionately. They kissed intensely for several minutes, Spike slowly backing her up against the wall. Spike kissed his way down her neck, his hand reaching for her zipper when Buffy stopped him.

She gave him a look. “No way are we having sex here again.”

Spike pouted and Buffy shook her head at him. “That won’t work,” she informed him as he resumed kissing her neck, “I invented that look. You’re not gonna-ah!” Buffy broke off in a gasp when Spike gently bit down on her sensitive skin.

Buffy glared at him. “That was so cheating,” she huffed and pulled away to gather her things.

Spike sighed. “Alright, alright, I’ll go get my stuff and meet you at the car.”

As soon as he left the room, Buffy let out a little sigh of relief. She didn’t want their first time as an official couple to be in the dressing room and she’d been this close to giving in. Thank god for reasoning.

She hurried out of the room; her bag slung over her shoulder and ran out to the car to see Spike leaning against it, looking extremely hot in his tux, his hair curly from her hands running through it.

Oh god, Buffy realized, this was going to be the longest car ride ever.

**********************

“Um,” Buffy mumbled against Spike’s lips, “keys…purse.”

Spike pulled away long enough for her to find her purse in the car before attacking her lips again. They stumbled up her walkway, hands roaming all over each other.

Buffy pulled back, fishing through her purse for her house keys, letting out a cry of triumph when she located them.

Spike grinned at her as she fumbled with the keys. She was just as hot and bothered as he was, Spike smugly thought.

Finally, Buffy managed to unlock the door and Spike grabbed her arm, pulling her in for another kiss. He backed her up into the house, kicking the door shut behind him.

“Umph,” Buffy mumbled, “We should…lock…the door.”

“Fuck the door,” Spike growled, “upstairs, now.”

His words shot straight to her groan and she complied, darting out of his arms and up the staircase. “Gotta catch me first!” she sang out loud with a giggle.

Spike glanced down at his erection and grumbled, “Bloody women” before running up the stairs himself.

He paused by her room, listening for any scuffling noises before slowly opening the door. Spike stepped in cautiously, halting to inspect the room. Nothing. He turned to exit the Buffy’s room when something small jumped on his back, sending him down on the ground.

He twisted his to see a grinning who was now Buffy straddling his legs. “That was fun.”

Spike snorted. “You didn’t have some crazy bint just jump on your back. Though,” he leered at her, “I like where you are now.”

Buffy nodded slowly, her eyes glittering. “Uh-huh, I kinda like it here too.” She rocked her hips slightly. “But I’m thinking bed would be nice.”

Spike groaned and in one swift move pulled Buffy up and onto the bed covering her body with his. She gasped and he took the opportunity to kiss her once more, letting his hands wander up her torso.

“Please Spike,” she said softly, “touch me.”

That was all it took. Spike deftly unzipped her dress, pulling it off, leaving Buffy in a small black lace thong and matching bra. She unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it gently over the edge of the bed and went to work on his pants.

“Buffy,” Spike whispered, cupping her breasts in her hand and hissed when her hand made contact with his manhood.

She eased his pants down and Spike put them gently on the ground next to his shirt. Then he moved up to undo her bra, kissing and caressing her breast in the process.

Buffy let out small whimpers of pleasure, her back arching. Her hair clip popped open and she reached up to undo the bun, letting her long, golden hair tumble down.

Spike reached up with one hand to touch her locks. “God I love this hair, the way it shines, the way it-“

Buffy cut him off with a kiss, letting her tongue dance with his. “No… more… talking… please?”

Spike nodded and they continued to kiss, at first soft then more passionately until Spike was trailing kisses down her breasts, her torso and then her…

“Spike!” Buffy hissed in surprised, “What are you…?” She could feel a flush staining her cheeks.

“Let me, Buffy,” Spike said softly, looking up at her through his lashes, “I’ll make you feel so good. Promise.”

Buffy wanted him to. To kiss, lick and suck her down there but right now, she wanted him in her. The perfect way to consummate their new relationship. Their love.

Just thinking those two words sent an exhilarating thrill through her. She’d never felt this way so strongly before: excited, naked, nervous and wanted.

“Buffy?” Spike gave her a questioning look.

She gently tugged him up so they were face to face. “Later,” she told him, “right now I just want to feel you inside me.”

Spike groaned at her words and began peppering kisses all over her face before firmly kissing her lips.

“God Buffy the things you do to me,” he groaned and Buffy opened her legs further, letting Spike slip between them, the tip of his manhood grazing her opening.

“Please, now,” Buffy demanded softly and Spike slid to the hilt. They let out mutual groans as Spike began moving, slowly at first, then his pace picking up till they both came with a cry.

Buffy could still feel herself coming down from the high as Spike rolled them to their sides, still intimately joined. She turned to face him, a lazy smile spreading across her face.

“Hey,” her voice was quiet but happy.

Spike cupped her face, leaning down to brush a kiss on her lips. “God, you were fantastic.”

“Really,” Buffy began, her smile turning mischievous. “Well, we’re not done yet.”

“Bloody hell, never!” Spike replied adamantly and Buffy pushed him on his back and hoisted herself up on top of him.

“So,” she said teasingly, “ready for another round?”

“Always.”

***********************

Buffy woke late in the morning and stretched, arching her back, feeling pleasantly tender. She and Spike had spent most of the night making love in every possible way they could think of before they drifted off to sleep. Speaking of Spike…

Buffy sat up, looking confused at the empty spot next to her. Where was he?

Hesitantly, Buffy climbed out of bed, throwing on her silk robe over her nude body. He hadn’t left without telling her had he?

The bedroom door was open a crack and she slipped out, quietly walking down the stairs. The sight that greeted her caused giggles to slip out.

Spike was standing there, solely wearing an apron Dawn had given Buffy as a gag-gift that pronounced ‘Kiss the Cook.’ He was mixing several things in different bowls all while keeping his eye on the pan on the stove.

He glanced up at the sound of giggles and smirked. “Morning luv.”

“I can’t believe you actually went through with the breakfast thing,” Buffy commented, seating herself at the island.

Spike shrugged as he took the steaming eggs off the stove. “Made a promise didn’t I?”

Buffy shook her head, trying to hide her smile. “You’re insane.”

Spike chuckled as we moved to her side. “You’re figuring that out now? Besides, you’re not the sanest girl in Sunnydale.”

“Okay, I’m not,” Buffy admitted, “I guess that’s all the more reason we’re together. We’ve got to be the weirdest couple out there with our past.”

“But it all worked out for the best. As crazy and messed up as our…courtship or whatever the bloody hell you want to call it was…we’re here now, together” Spike said, his eyes intensely meeting Buffy’s.

She nodded. “I know. Whatever we used to be…we’re not that anymore. We’re a couple. Us.”

She punctuated her agreement with a kiss and slid her arms around him. “I love you.”

“I love you too Buffy, so much,” he replied, clutching her closer. They stayed that way till the buzzer went off, reminding Spike about the muffins in the oven.

“There’s so much food,” Buffy looked around, “how are we going to eat it all?”

Spike snorted. “Please Summers, you could eat a horse if you had one.”

“Hey,” she replied indigently, “That’s so not true!”

“Yeah it is,” Spike replied, ducking as she threw an apple in his direction. He reached out and pulled her close, nuzzling her neck and whispered against her skin. “We don’t have to eat now…I’d rather eat something else instead anyway.”

“You’re being a pig,” she informed him with a huff. “Only you would get turned on when a girl throws something at you.”

“Oink oink baby,” Spike smirked against her neck and bit down, repeating the motion he’d done the previous night. He grinded against her backside, letting her feel his hardened length.

“Ungh,” Buffy moaned, “What about the food?”

“Screw the food, it’ll be there all bloody day,” Spike rasped as he peppered kisses on her shoulder, sliding her robe off her shoulders.

“That’s a…good…very good idea,” Buffy replied as they moved towards the couch.

“Yeah…very…very good idea,” Spike repeated her words while kissing her.

“And,” Buffy said optimistically, “We’ll work up…an appetite…so we’ll finish all the food-ah!” She screeched as Spike pushed her onto the couch.

“God how I love you,” he told her.

“I love you too,” she said honestly, pulling him closer.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” Spike replied while undoing the belt of her robe.

“Me neither. Now shut up and make love to me.”

Spike chuckled, his voice low. “Wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.”

Chapter 25: The Epilogue

One year later…

“When are you going to be home?”

Buffy smiled into the phone and answered her boyfriend’s question. “I’m on my way right now. There was an accident on main.”

“You know what to do when you get here?” Spike asked and Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Yes. I’m supposed to look pretty and meet you at the Pavilion,” she paused, “so are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?”

“No,” Spike said firmly, “you can beg all you want, I’m not tellin’.”

Buffy pouted even though he couldn’t see her. “I couldn’t even get Dawn to tell me.”

Spike snorted. “Like I’d tell Nibblet! With her motormouth you’d know the second after I confided in her. Not bloody likely.”

“Yeah I would,” Buffy conceded and turned the car onto Revello Dr. “Okay, I’m almost there. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“I love you too baby,” Spike repeated and they hung up the phone at the same time.

Buffy felt warm a feeling in her tummy at the sound of those words. He could say them a million, gazillion times and she’d never get sick of it.

As soon as she parked the car, she ran inside bypassing her room in favor of the shower. She had an hour and a half to look so good Spike would loose it. She giggled at the thought. Not that it was so hard, Buffy reminded herself. Spike always wanted her.

Buffy stepped out of the shower with her skin soft and freshly scrubbed and her hair smooth and workable. She curled her hair into loose tendrils that framed her face, letting it fall naturally past her shoulders. She’d debated cutting it short a few months ago but Spike insisted she leave it long and Buffy submitted, only cutting off an inch or so.

Next, Buffy rubbed baby oil into her skin and painted her nails a burgundy shade, a variation of Spike’s favorite color. In her towel, Buffy skipped to her room and saw the wine colored silk dress sitting on the bed, neatly laid out.

It was simple yet the most gorgeous thing she’d ever worn. The dress clung perfectly to her curves while floating gently to the floor, grazing her toes. With the added height of her black strappy heels, it would carefully skim the ground, just as it should. The top of the dress dipped into a small ‘V’ in the front but much deeper in the back, revealing her bare back almost to the base of her spine.

Once in the dress, Buffy spun in front of the mirror, smiling wide at her reflection. She looked amazing, if she did say so herself.

She added some light makeup and a pair of silver drop earrings with a garnet stone. With one final look in the full-length mirror, Buffy smoothed the dress with her hands. As her hands moved down her stomach, she paused, cradling it slightly. Nervously, she bit her lip, turning to her side and straightened her spine.

Tonight, she promised herself, tonight she’d tell Spike. The very thought made her stomach flutter and Buffy quickly packed her small clutch with her phone and makeup, taking her leather jacket with her.

Buffy hurriedly drove to the Pavilion. Spotting Spike’s car, she pulled up along side it and parked. She stepped out of car, being sure to keep her coat buttoned. When they got to wherever Spike was taking her, she’d take the coat off. Hey, she had to have a surprise of her own didn’t she?

“Hello luv,” Spike greeted her with a soft kiss.

“Hey yourself,” Buffy replied, taking in his suit. She was impressed at the effort. Spike hated wearing suits or tuxes and the last time she’d seen him in either was at Xander and Anya’s wedding a year ago.

She’d also forgotten how sexy he looked in a suit.

“Ready to go?” Spike asked, taking her hand and opening the passenger door of his car for her.

“Yep,” she gave him a sly look, “are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

“No,” he gave her a glare, “it’s a still a surprise. Didn’t anyone ever teach you the meaning of that word?”

Buffy shrugged. “I think I missed that lesson. All the waiting and anticipation makes me jumpy.”

“It’ll be worth it, I promise,” Spike told her as he turned the car on and backed out.

“It better be,” Buffy warned him, “surprises are never of the good.”

************************

“Oh my god,” Buffy breathed, craning her head to get a better view.

Spike smirked at her. “You like it?”

Buffy nodded. “Where’d you find this place?”

They were at a cozy yet beautiful restaurant hotel located on bluffs overlooking the ocean. Spike had reserved a table for two near the window where Buffy could see the waves crashing against the rocky shore. It was absolutely breathtaking.

“My editor suggested it as a way to celebrate my new book,” Spike said casually.

“Your new-“ Buffy began then squealed. “They published it?” she asked eagerly, her eyes wide.

Spike nodded, a smile forming on his lips. “Yeah, it’ll be officially released by the end of July.”

“Spike that’s fantastic!” Buffy exclaimed, squeezing his hand resting on the table, “I’m so proud of you.”

Spike squeezed her hand back, looking at her lovingly. “It’s all because of you, pet. Wouldn’t have had that inspiration of resurrecting Muffy if it weren’t for being with you.”

Buffy smirked, recalling her reaction to Spike’s idea for his sequel. “I can’t believe you actually went through with it, I thought you said you’d write that in just to make me happy.”

Spike chuckled. “Well that too but honestly it was a good idea.”

Buffy snorted. “It’s our life only, you know, vampified. Especially the whole part about Jake being in love with Muffy. You so put yourself in that novel,” she accused him playfully.

The blondes laughed and then Spike’s expression sobered. “Buffy,” he began seriously. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Buffy instantly straightened, the butterflies in her stomach turning into bats. “I need to tell you something too.”

“You go first,” Spike told her, wondering what she was going to say.

“No,” Buffy protested, “You go. Mine isn’t that big of a deal.” Liar, a little voice in her head accused her but Buffy didn’t say anything out loud.

“Um…” Spike fidgeted nervously. “Buffy, I love you, so much.”

“I love you too,” Buffy replied, looking at him confused. Was he going to…no, no way would he break up with her, not now she told herself firmly.

Spike cleared his throat. “I was thinking lately that maybe…maybe we should think about the future, for us. I don’t know how you feel about…bloody hell,” he cursed, unable string his thoughts together.

Buffy stiffened. “Spike, are you trying to…break up with me?” she said the last four words so softly, her sadness clearly audible in her words.

Spike closed his eyes in shock and violently swore. “Bloody fuckin’ hell, no Buffy!”

Buffy regarded him coolly. “Then why are having so much trouble saying whatever the hell you’re trying to say to me?”

Spike clenched his jaw, wondering how everything was falling apart so fast. “I’m trying to Buffy but this is hard for me!”

Buffy shook her head disbelievingly. “What? What’s so hard?” she demanded.

“I’m trying to-“ Spike’s loud words were cut off by the piercing ring of his cell phone. Spike took it out, pressing the TALK button.

“What?” he snapped.

“Spike? It’s me Angel.”

Spike frowned. Since when did Angel call him?

“What’s going on?” he asked warily.

“Cordy is in labor and I’m stuck at the LAX. Can you get to the hospital? I’ll be there as soon as I can but she doesn’t really have anyone right now.” Angel’s voice was shaking with desperation and Spike had no choice but to agree.

He clicked the phone off and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “We gotta go to Sunnydale Memorial. Cordy is in labor and Angel’s in LA.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and she stood up, shrugging her jacket on. “Okay, let’s go.”

Spike followed her, his one hand grasping the velvet box in his pocket hoping he’d have the chance to say what he really wanted to.

***************************

The ride back was silent and Buffy spent most of the time soothing Cordelia via the phone to reassure her that they’d be there as soon as possible.

This was a bad time for Cordelia to be in labor, Buffy thought, feeling sorry for her friend. She was stuck in Sunnydale away from her usual doctor and giving birth without her husband.

“We’ll be there soon,” Buffy repeated and she heard Cordelia moan once again.

By the time the arrived, Cordelia had been moved into a private room and a nurse escorted Buffy and Spike there.

“Hey Cordy,” Buffy greeted her friend and walked over to hold her hand reassuringly.

Cordelia’s face was glistening with a sweat, pieces of hair sticking to her forehead. “Hey,” she panted out and tried to give Buffy a smile.

“Breathe sweetie,” Buffy said sympathetically.

“It’s getting…kinda hard to,” Cordelia replied and groaned as another contraction hit her. She gripped Buffy’s hand so hard, she thought it would break. Finally Cordelia calmed down a little, her hand loosening its tight hold. Buffy wiggled her hand out and winced.

“Spike,” she hissed, “find out where Angel is.”

The doctor walked in and pulled on her rubber gloves, giving the three a cheery smile. “Well Cordelia, let’s see how far you are along!” She proceeded to lift Cordelia’s legs up and pushed the gown out of the way to gain access.

Spike blanched. “I’ll call Peaches,” he mumbled and almost ran out of the room. There was something very wrong about seeing your cousin’s wife being prodded down there.

Buffy ignored Spike’s comment, trying to coach Cordelia through her breathing exercises as best as she could. Though Buffy had only gone with Cordy a handful of times to her Lamaze classes, the basics stuck with her and for that Buffy was grateful.

“Breath in, breath out,” she commanded, attempting the exercise herself.

Cordelia copied Buffy, her breathing more ragged and shallower. Then another contraction crept up on her and once again Buffy was gritting her teeth against Cordelia’s powerful grip.

Angel, Buffy thought, you better get your ass down here soon.

*****************

An hour later, Spike was pacing nervously out in the waiting room. Angel had called a few minutes before to say he was only about twenty minutes away from the hospital.

Buffy hadn’t come out of the room in over forty-five minutes and Spike was very reluctantly to go back in there. Besides, he wasn’t family and the staff had grudgingly let Buffy in because Angel wasn’t there yet.

Spike sat down and tried to read of the old issues of The New Yorker but couldn’t focus. His thoughts were mostly concentrated on the question he wanted to ask Buffy.

He couldn’t believe he’d completely buggered up the whole ‘nice evening out’ deal. Buffy had looked so stunningly beautiful in that dress. The way it had clung to her body…it’d taken every bit of his self control not to take her right then and there.

And now judging by how well the evening had begun, Spike surmised that it had been his fault. He couldn’t just say it, no he had to do the whole soddin’ speech thing first, Spike thought bitterly.

“Spike!”

He looked up to see a distressed Angel run through the doors.

“Where’s Cordy?” he asked breathlessly.

“In room 302. I thought you said you were twenty minutes away?” Spike asked, puzzled.

“Yeah well, I wasn’t exactly thinking about the whole speeding thing at the time,” Angel admitted and the two men briskly made their way to Cordelia’s room.

Buffy stepped out just as Angel opened the door and gave him a tired look. “She’s all yours.”

Spike stared at his girlfriend. Her hair was limp, her makeup worn off and her she looked like she was going to fall asleep any minute. God she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. As the thought ran through is mind, Spike knew exactly what he had to do.

Buffy pulled her hair out of the ponytail elastic the doctor had lent her and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Hey,” Spike said and hesitantly pulled her closer for her hug. Buffy stepped into his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry luv,” Spike told her and the pair walked down the hallway, their hands loosely interlocked.

Buffy gave him an exhausted smile. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have overreacted. I just thought…” she trailed off as Spike let go of her hand and got down on one knee.
“Spike, what are you doing?” she hissed.

“Buffy,” he said, staring intently into her eyes. “I love you. I love your sense of humor, your wit, your smile and I want to spend the rest of my whole soddin’ life with you,” he paused watching Buffy’s shocked expression as he pulled out the box that had been burning a hole in his pocket all night. “Will you marry me?”

For a moment, Buffy simply stared down at him, her eyes round as saucers, her mouth open. Then her lips curled upward into a blinding smile. “Of course you big dummy!”

Spike’s own wide smile overtook his face and he stood up, placing the square cut diamond ring on Buffy’s finger. He picked her up, spinning her around before soundly kissing her.

A clapping alerted the two blondes and they pulled apart to see a few nurse clapping for them.

Buffy then remembered her own news and pulled back slightly. “Spike, there’s something I need to tell you and I’m not sure how you’ll react.”

“Just tell me,” Spike urged, clasping her hands in his.

“I’m,” Buffy took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”


*******************************************************

Five years later…

Willow cautiously let opened the front door to the Summers-Giles’s home to see a hugely pregnant Buffy waddling after an angry looking Spike.

“No! I’m not going now Spike!” Buffy almost screamed.

“You bloody well are!” Spike shouted back, “You’re in labor!”

“So?” Buffy demanded, yanking her overnight bag out of his hands. “My water hasn’t broken yet!”

Spike yanked the overnight bag back. “All the more reason for you to go now!”

“You’re being stupid!” Buffy yelled again, following Spike into the kitchen.

“O-kay,” Willow said softly, making her way into the living room. “I’m just gonna-“

“Auntie Willow?” A sweet little voice sniffled and Willow looked at the couch to see a small girl sitting there, crying.

“Oh, sweetie,” Willow said sympathetically, “What’s wrong?”

The girl sniffled again, wiping at her snotty nose. “Mommy and daddy are fightin’.”

Willow couldn’t help but break out into a small smile. “Honey, that’s what mommies and daddies do sometimes.”

“I know,” the girl admitted, twirling with one blonde pigtail. “But daddy said ‘bloody’.”

Willow gave a mock frown. “Well, we’ll have to tell him that’s naughty, right?”

The little girl nodded, tears still falling down her face.

“Honey,” Willow, scooted closer to the girl, pulling her onto her lap. “Mommy and daddy don’t mean anything by fighting. In fact,” Willow lowered her voice, “Daddy and mommy used to fight all the time before they got married. That’s just what they’re like. That doesn’t mean they’ll ever stop loving each other or you.”

“Really?” the girl said hopefully.

“Absolutely,” Willow nodded firmly then broke out into a mischievous grin. “Katie, did I ever tell you about ‘The Ice Cream Incident’?”



THE END


again-thanks to everyone who has been reading this-you are all amazing! Look out for my new story coming soon...it's gonna be 1st person (Buffy POV) and my first time doing so!