hI, here I am with another story, hope you'll like it! Don't let you deceive by the prologue, i swear it's not dark!

TRY ON MY WORLD
Author: Lu
Main Characters: Buffy/Spike
Disclaimer: I know these characters don’t belong to me
Thanks to: Maribel and Jill for their great help!
Feedback: Yeah, pleeeeeaase ,I’d like it
Setting: Season 6, during “ Life Serial” (I just borrowed few quotes, thanks to the writer of the episode!)

IMPORTANT: In this story Angel keeps the Gem of Amarra, instead of destroying as he does at the end of “ In the Dark”.

Summary: It’s the scene at Spike’s crypt, but things go differently…

PROLOGUE

“ This is gonna be great!” Buffy exclaimed, holding up a shot-glass full of liquor, pouring the shot down her throat.
“ Blaaah!” she made a horrible face, shaking her head.
Spike lifted his own shot shot-glass to his mouth, slamming it down.
“ Life is stupid!” she complained.
“ I have a dim memory of that, yeah. And I didn’t figure you were there cadging my whiskey ‘cause life is all full of blood and peaches …”
“ No. There’s this thing… someone’s doing stuff to me. Messing up my life, except that it was kind of pre-messed already. You know, with school and jobs… pretty bad even without the evil…”
“ So, you uh, just what? Gonna let this whoever play you ‘till it figures out what kills you?”
Her only answer, she shrugged, putting down her glass.
“ Giles is working on it.”
Spike laughed.
“ Oh, good, ‘cause Giles wields the mighty force of library books!”
“ You’d do better?”
“ Damn right! I’d hit the demon world…”
Buffy refilled the two glasses, while Spike straddled the coffin where they were sat on.
“ Ask questions, throw punches, find out what’s in the air. Hmm? It’s fun, too!” he kept talking.
“ S not my kind of fun..” she slurred, screwing cup back onto the flash.
“ Yeah. It is.”
Buffy looked at him.
“ And your life is gonna get a lot less confusing when you figure that out…” he explained quietly.
“ Ya had * so* too much drink at this point, I’m cutting ya off!” she slurred.
They both emptied their glasses again. Buffy made her ‘ alcohol face ‘ again.
“ Blaaah!” she shook her head.
Spike watched that with a smile.
“ You’re not a schoolgirl. You’re not a shop girl.” He commented, as she poured from the flask into her glass again, emptying it in one go.
“ You are a creature of the darkness. Like me “
Buffy looked at him again.
“ Try on my world, see how good it feels” he invited her.
“ Are there drinks in your world?”
“ All the ones you want. Just let me take ya in my world..” he slurred.
“ Yeah… just as if ya could…” she teased him, filling again their glasses, drinking hers quickly; but this time she didn’t grimace much.
“ Sssure I can!” he protested, slamming down his throat his.
“ Ya can’t even begin to hurt me without your head exploding in pain. Ah-Ah. Chippy Boy can’t do anything!” she sing-sang chuckling, pointing at him.
“ I’ll show ya who can’t harm whom!” he growled, approaching her in a threatening way; but she didn’t care much, too worried for the fact that the flask was nearly empty.
“ Oh-Oh. This issh the last glass!” she exclaimed, bringing it to her mouth, but Spike snatched it abruptly from her hand, swallowing it all.
“ Heeey! It was mine!” she pouted.
“ Well, this will teach you not to make ever fun of me!” he struck back, while a drop of liquor was slipping down his chin.
Buffy noticed that, approaching him more.
“ It wasss mine n I’m gonna take it back!” she slurred, grasping his shoulders to pull him to her, licking the drop of whiskey from his chin to the corner of his mouth.
After a second, her lips were pressed on his, demanding entrance. He was more than happy to please her.
Buffy explored his cold mouth, tasting the liquor. Just when he decided to kiss her back, she opened her eyes and noticed another flask behind the coffin.
She parted from Spike and went to catch it.
“ Second round!” she exclaimed triumphantly.
Spike said nothing, too confused because off both of the kiss and the alcohol. He confined himself to open the bottle, filling the glasses again.
“ If only I saw it befoooore.. just look what I’ve brought myself to do just to tassste a little more liquor again..” she muttered.
“ According to your moans, it didn’t seem a soooo big sacrifice to ya!” he slurred.
“ I wasn’t moaning!” she clarified, emptying the glass.
“ You were!” he insisted, following her example.
“ Wasn’t!”
“Were!”
“* Wasn’t*!”
“ * Were*!”
“ Wa..”
She was interrupted by Spike, which crushed his lips with hers, and this time he had a more active role in the kiss, so it took just a bunch of seconds to hear Buffy moaning in pleasure.
He stopped, sneering satisfied.
“ Ha-Ha: Buffy ’s moans!” he pointed at her, grabbing the flask and drinking directly from it.
“ I was just tasting the alcohol…” she justified, stealing the flask from him, mirroring his actions.
He snatched it from her roughly.
“ Shtop hiding behind lame excuses and bloooody admit ya feel somethin’ for me!” he summoned her, slurring.
She stole the flask from him again, emptying it.
“ Bite meeee!” she slurred, sticking her tongue to him.
“ As ya wishhh… “ he sneered, bringing his mouth to her neck, without any reaction from her, too drunken to do anything; neither when he slipped to his game-face, ready to bite.
His fangs sank in her tender flesh and she dropped the glass she still held for the surprise, breaking it in thousands pieces.
She gave out a small cry for the pain mixed and oddly overwhelmed by the pleasure.
After tasting few drops, he stopped shocked, his human face coming back.
“I-I’ve …just bitten ya… and ya cried.. but chip didn’t work…” he commented, watching her confused.
“ Oh.. Sure, I got it!” she exclaimed too enthused.
“ I’m dreaming, it’s only that: ya biting me, chipless… S typical of my dreams…” she explained, puzzling him more.
“ Ya dream ‘bout me? ‘Bout me biting ya?!”
“ S not only the bite… usually, it comes to play after a huge amount of savage sex, or before it… or meantime, it depends…” she said quietly, as it was the most normal thing to say.
Spike was dumbfounded: Buffy was confessing to have fantasies, erotic fantasies, about him; no matter if she was under the effect of the alcohol. He was happy as never before; it was what he had dreamt about for so long… Here is the keyword: dreaming.
“ I start to believe in your theory, pet! I must be dreaming too, ya sound a bit too unreal…” he slurred.
“ We ssshould take advantage of it before we wake uup… “ she suggested, folding her arms ‘round his neck.
“ If S just a dream, I’d better do what I always do to ya in every of my dreams…” he murmured.
“ And what it would be?”
“ What I told ya before this dream… or maybe.. it was already a dream even before… whatever! I wanna bring ya to my world!” he smiled, amazed when he saw her baring her neck with a smile.
“ I would have bet it was that! Anyway… I also dreamt ‘bout it once or twiiiice, so I’m getting used to that. Once more can’t be bad, can it?”
“ Nope. After all, S another bloody dream… jus more realistic than usual, don’t know why. I think we should try… Then, ya ’re the one who said life issh stupid…” he slurred, approaching to the two little wounds on her neck, already healing.
“ Still think life issh ssstupid!” she slurred, grasping his shoulders.
“ So, pet, let’s enjoy this dream!” he whispered, licking the punctures, as she closed her eyes, waiting for his change. When he did it, she abandoned herself in his arms serenely.
“ Ya drinking from mee…definitely my dream…” she moaned.
“ Mee drinking from ya… S just my dream!” he slurred as he drained her.
“ Here’s the moment I go limp…” she whispered weakly.
“ Here’s the part I prefer: the one where I bind ya to mee eternally!” he said, pulling himself from her, supporting her with an arm, picking a piece of glass from the ground, which he used to cut his chest, after rolling up his T-shirt.
He brought her close to his wound, with extreme tenderness.
“ It’s my fave part, tooo… “ she admitted with a faint voice, drinking for few minutes, starting to regain energy.
Overwhelmed by the alcohol, by the loss of blood and by the deepness of the experience they shared; they both fell into a deep asleep.

TBC

PART 1 (Sorry to all Angel’s fans… if you read it you’ll see why… nothing bad anyway!)

Spike awoke, feeling someone beside him.
He opened his eyes, and the joy he felt when he realized it was Buffy was huge.
But that happiness was turning into a terrible fear: her body was cold, he didn’t see her breathing, but most of all he didn’t hear her heart beating.

< Is she…? No, not for the third time! I can’t lose her again..>

Headless of the fact that it was still afternoon, he was about to run to Willow to make her do one of her witchcrafts, when with his big surprise he felt Buffy stirring.
In fact, after few seconds, she popped her eyes open, panicking when she saw him and she realized where she was.
“ You? Me? Here? How?” was all she managed to say.
Neither Spike was able to say a word, puzzled as he was.
After all, few minutes before she seemed dead to him, and he was too bewildered to realize her heart wasn’t beating yet.
Finally, he talked.
“ It’s the same thing I’m trying to figure out, pet! All I can remember is your visit yesterday, we drank a little…”
Buffy took a look around, seeing the two empty flakes of whiskey and a broken shot-glass.
“ I don’t think ‘ a little’ is the right word. I guess we drank ourselves sick, just before falling asleep on your bed. But I have all my clothes on, you too; well… your T-shirt is a little rolled up..”

< Bad Buffy, stop staring at those abs to lick! >

“ .. why don’t you pull it out.. I MEAN pull it down?”
Spike obeyed, amused and surprised.
“ I guess we have just slept. Nothing bad happened…” she commented, heading to the bathroom to arrange herself, while he was still wondering if what he had seen at his awakening was just due to his imagination.
The icing scream Buffy gave out from the bathroom would have given him a heart-attack .. if only he hadn’t been already dead.
“ Buffy, what have you seen?”
“ What have I seen? What I HAVEN’T seen: my reflection at the mirror, which means only a thing… I’ve become a vampire!” she said in shock.
“ What…” Spike began asking as incredulous as dazed, but she interrupted him.
“ By the way, it’s already kinda absurd for a vampire to have a bathroom in his crypt, but why in flaming hell should you keep even a mirror inside?” she exclaimed, approaching to him like a predator with his prey.
“ Well… I like standing in front of it holding something and .. seeing it flowing in the air: it’s fun!” he explained, backing off.
“ Don’t try to change subject: YOU TURNED ME! You, damn bleached..” she screamed, hurling to him, but he dodged her.
“ Just how? My chip..”
“ Don’t bloody know how, but you did it!” she struck back, angrier and angrier.
“ Hey, don’t bloody steal my words!” he summoned her, still keeping his distance.
“ I bloody do what I bloody want!” she shout, trying to catch him, but she missed the mark again.
“ Anyway, as you can see, your plan has gone wrong, ‘cause there’s no Dark Queen, only soulful PISSED OFF Buffy!” she said, grabbing an empty flack to throw it against him, but he warded off the blow.
“ Glad ‘bout that; not the pissed off part, although I’ve got bloody used to that!” he said, ducking in time to avoid the candelabrum she threw against him.
“ I mean the soulful part: I could have never loved your soulless version. Just a couple of years ago, I couldn’t have asked better, but not now… I’ve changed!”
“ Actually, I’m the one WHO HAS CHANGED and it’s only your fault!” she growled, jumping to him, managing to pin him with his back on the ground.
He smiled, watching her entranced.
“ Lovely!”
“ What?” she frowned.
“ Your eyes are flashing gold..” he explained and she loosened her grip, shocked.
“ Oh, no! What I’ve become! I must look so ugly…”
“ You look beautiful..” he whispered, leaning to her to attempt to kiss her.
She was about to give in, then she remembered the situation and she shoved him to the ground again.
“ I’ve said no changing subject!”

There was a limit to Spike’s patience and Buffy had passed it.
Growling, he set himself free from her, shoving her away.
“ Just tell me, what bothers you more? That you’re a vamp now… or that *I * am your Sire?” he shout and this time his eyes flashed yellow.
Buffy felt a shiver down her spine.
“ Don’t use that word!” she summoned him, trying to punch him, but he blocked her hand.
“ Which one? * Sire* ? I use it as much I bloody please! It’s true, Buffy: I’m your Sire and you are my Childe. There’s an unbreakable powerful bond between us and you or anyone can’t do anything about it!” he said, grasping her other hand, too.
“ Now, I’ve got a power over you that you can’t even begin to imagine: I could snap my fingers saying just two words and you would fall helplessly in love with me…”
Buffy started to fear, then she felt him loosening his grip.
“… but I didn’t , I don’t and won’t ever do it. Don’t ask me why, you already know the answer!” he said, looking at her serious as never.
“ Because you love me!” she admitted with the same seriousness.
“ Yeah, and I respect you. I’d never done such a thing. It wouldn’t be you and I don’t want a lame copy of you to love me by command… Already tried the robot!” he added, with a smirk of his.
“ If it ever comes the day you’ll love me, I want it to be because you feel it, without any charm, any brainwashing…” he explained, kissing her forehead, glad that for once she hadn’t tried to punch him.. or worse, avoid him.
He wanted to do more, but it wasn’t the rightist moment to push his luck.
“ Look, Buffy, I don’t know and I still don’t remember what happened last night; but I’m more than sure I could never force you to do something against your will, no matter how bloody drunk I can be!”
“ So, what do you mean? That it was my fault? That I forced you to do it? I could never do such a thing, no matter how much whiskey I can drink!” she struck back.
“ What if somehow I had told you something that made you want to follow me? Or what if you had told me something that convinced me you needed that?”
“ Yeah, sure. Just like if I had complained ‘bout my life, you had suggested me to let you bring me in your world and I had willingly accepted it!”
They looked at each other and they end up splitting their sides with laughter, despite the gravity of the situation.
“ Naaah, it’s absurd!” they exclaimed at unison.
“ Maybe a spell… or a prophecy…” Spike suggested.
“ It could be everything! All I know is that normally, when two people got very drunk, sure, they do stupid things they mostly regret the morning after, but they never do something like this. I mean, couldn’t we just have some totally drunken sex and wake up with a big hang-over and a huge embarrassment?”
“ Don’t know ‘bout you, but I’ve got a bloody hangover and you chasing me yelling mad at me didn’t improve things…” he muttered, massaging his temples.
“ My head is going to explode, too!” she said, sitting on the bed.
“ Buffy, I’m sorry for you if you don’t like it, but I can’t say I regret it. I wanted it for so long…”
“ For some strange reasons, I’m not surprised at all. It’s like you had already told me it, I wonder when…” she explained, confused.
“ After all, it’s not so tragic: I mean, sure, now you’re a vamp, but there aren’t so many differences with the old Buffy..”
“ You think? I can’t stay in daylight anymore, so, excuse me, but I see it as a BIG DIFFERENCE!”
“ It’s not a problem: just ask me and I’ll run to L.A. to steal that famous ring from Mr. Perfect Hair and I won’t fail this time!” he said.
She burst out laughing.
“ What?” he asked, afraid that she was doubting ‘bout his skill.
“ The way you called Angel, it’s fun… but I guess it’s the demon making me laugh..” she justified.
“ You know, I’ve got lots of names for my ‘ Daddy’: Peaches, Poof, Party Boy…”
“ Party Boy?!” she frowned.
“ It’s pure irony, pet!”
“ Oh, right, sure. Any other name?” she wondered, not wanting to admit to herself she was having a good time.
“ Sure! Brilliantine-Slave; Dejected 24/7 … and that’s my fave: B.B.B. I dare you to find out what every ‘ B’ stands for..”
“ Mm.. between ups and downs… I know you for something like almost five years. I guess I’ve learned something ‘bout you: I bet the first one is ‘ Bloody’!”
“ Very good!”
“ Well, the second… mm.. sad, grieving, mourning… wait, I got it: ‘ Broody’!”
“ Impressive, pet!”
“ Thank you. Let me think about the last one… ‘ Bloke’? Naaah, too banal. ‘ Brain-dead ’? It suits better to Harmony…”
Due to her terrible hangover, racking her brain was the last thing she needed.
“ I give in, tell me!”
“ Simple: Bloody Broody Big-Jaw!”
“ Oh, C’mon! He has not a so big jaw…” she commented but some giggles escaped from her mouth.
“ Yeah. Just like Dumbo has not so big ears…” he struck back and Buffy resumed laughing madly.
“ It’s still the demon..” she clarified between laughter.
“ Yeah, who dares to doubt ‘about it?” he observed sarcastic.
“ Anyway,… Dumbo? Don’t tell me the Big Bad watches Disney Movies!” she teased him.
“ It was only an example!” he defended.
“ Yeah, yeah. After all, that’s coming from a Master Vampire who has never missed a single episode of ‘ Passions’!” she laughed.
He smiled.
“ Look. Just a quarter ago you were desperate and mad, and now you are splitting your side with laughter! I’m quite good to make you smile…”
“ You’re right, Spike. You have brought the smile back to me, and I’m not talking just about now: since when I’ve come back, you’ve been the only one who didn’t suffocate me with attentions. I guess you’re born to cheer me up… and, of course, also to be my personal punch bag when everything goes wrong!” she said, making him laugh for her last remark.
“ Then, I just wonder why you’re not punching me right now, sweetie!”
“ I wonder the same!” she smiled, approaching him.
“ Spike?”
“ What?”
“Ow.”
“ Ow?!”
“ Ow. Ow. OOOW!” she screamed, smashing herself against the wall, clutching herself.

TBC

PART 2

“ My stomach… such a pain… OW!” she complained.
“ Pet, I know it hurts, but don’t worry, it will go away soon: as soon as you feed!” he explained, dashing to his fridge to pour some blood in a mug, heating it.
“ What? No, you’re fool! I don’t need it. After all, I already feel bett… OOOOWWW!” she screamed again.
“ Ssppiiiiiiiikkkkke, do something!”
“ That’s what I’m doing! C’mon, sit on the bed and let me help you!” he said, taking the mug and approaching it to her mouth.
Despite the blinding pain, she backed off.
“ No. There’s not a chance I’m going to dr…” but Spike brought the mug to her lips, making her taste few drops.
She took the mug in her hands, emptying it in few seconds.
He was content.
“ Feel better?”
She nodded.
“ Still hungry?”
She nodded again.
After few minutes, Spike brought her another mug, but when she stretched her arms to take it, he withdrew it.
“ Ha-Ha. First, show me it!”
“ What?” she frowned.
His only answer, he slipped to his game –face.
“ This!”
“ Why?” she asked, enthralled by his face. She was sure it was due to the Sire/Childe bond.
“ Because I wanna see it! Show me!” he incited her.
Buffy couldn’t figure out why, but she desired to imitate him, so she tried to concentrate, without any result.
“ Can’t. It’s too hard!”
“ What means you can’t? It’s pretty simple, look!” he said, melting his demonic visage away, to replace it again few seconds after.
Seeing how easily Spike managed to do it did nothing but bothering Buffy.
“ It’s not that simple! I’m trying, but…” she said, clinching both her teeth and fists, giving out a clumsy growl.
All that entertained Spike, but he didn’t want to give in. He was too determined to see her changing.
“ C’mon, show your pretty little fangy face to dear old Spikey…” he incited her again, making a funny voice.
“ Don’t treat me like a two years old baby and give me that damn mug, I’M HUNGRY!” she roared, but Spike smiled satisfied.
“ You made it!”
Buffy looked at him, bringing her hand to her face, feeling the ridges. She put a finger in her mouth to touch her teeth, now longer and sharp.
“ Alright, I made it!” she exclaimed proud, grieving the second after.
“ Poor me, I must look so ugly, it’s horrible…” she despaired. He held her hands.
“ Listen, pet. Nothing about you is ugly or horrible. You are so beautiful…” he whispered, but he decided to do no rash moves, confining himself just to give her the mug.
This time she shared it with him.
“ Ok, I’ve enough of fangy and yellow for now… how can you make it go away?” she asked.
“ Well, just wish it. Like this!” he smiled, coming back to his human face as he explained it to her.
Buffy followed his advice and touching her face she realized happy she had managed to do it.
“ Alright!” she exclaimed, getting up to go upstairs.
He followed her.
“ Where are you going?”
“ Sun is set. There’s no need for me to stay here again!” she explained, trying to reach the door, but he blocked her, standing in front of it.
“ Why do you wanna leave? I thought…”
“ What did you think, Spike? That after giving me a couple of mugs and entertaining me with your humor, everything would be fine? NOTHING is fine!” she shout, trying again to cross the door. This time he didn’t hampered her.
“ I’m so confused, I need to clear my mind. Try to understand! This whole situation is so wrong… and it’s all your fault! Leave me alone!” she retorted and although her tone was calmer, her words hurt him.
“ Then, go, Buffy. But let me warn you: you need me, especially now, I’m your Sire and I already know you’ll come back to me!”
Her only answer, she shut the door in front of him.
-----------------------------------------------------
Buffy was glad that Dawn was at her friends for all the week: she couldn’t face her then.
She took off her clothes and let in the shower, enjoying the jet of warm water on her now cold skin.
When she exited, she wore her bathrobe and she wrapped her wet hair in a towel.
After rubbing her hair, she removed the towel, taking her brush.
As soon as she raised her eyes towards the mirror, she couldn’t help laughing: all she could see was the brush floating in the air, followed by the hairdryer, which amused her more.
She realized why Spike kept a mirror in his kind of bathroom.

After dressing up, she went downstairs to control the answering machine.
There were two messages: the first was Willow’s.

-- Hi Buffy, where are you? Everyone is so worried…Hope you’re fine. Anyway, I’ve got such big news: I, Xander and Anya have found out who is messing up with your life recently… it’s a long story. Guess what? It’s not a demon, only three humans, three computer wizards with a small magic skill, but just humans. You won’t believe me, but we know two of them. They are Warren, Jonathan and… I don’t remember his name, but his brother gave us trouble during the Prom, remember? Anyway, just call me when you can, so I can explain it better to you. Bye. --

The news seemed to cheer her up. But the second message gave her the answer she was looking for.

-- Hi Buffy, it’s Tara. You know, since you’ve come back from death, I’ve been doing some researches, just to make sure the spell went fine. And it did. There’s just a ‘contraindication ‘: the spell has modified your cells a bit. Nothing serious, it’s just like a little sunburn! But that could confuse Spike’s chip… so, maybe he could be able to hurt you again, without feeling any pain… --

Buffy was dumbfounded: that’s why Spike had managed to bite her!

-- … So, Buffy, be careful, ok? Bye --

“ Well, Tara, I guess it’s a bit too late now!” Buffy muttered, turning off the machine.
She dialed Willow’s number to let her explain better everything about their discovery. After that, she asked her to tell everyone to meet her at the ‘ Magic Box ‘ the day after, at sundown, because she needed to talk with them urgently.
After assuring her friend that there was nothing to worry about and that she was fine, she greeted her, hanging the phone.

< Actually, there’s something to worry about, something * very* alarming, but they don’t know before tomorrow… I couldn’t tell her now… and I don’t even know if I’ll find the courage to speak tomorrow! > she thought, going to her room and throwing herself on the bed, starting to cry.
She didn’t understand why: she didn’t feel particularly sad, it was just that she felt like crying, for all the confusion in her head, for all the accumulated tension, for the fear of a negative reaction from her friends, and, although it was hard to admit to herself, for the way she had treated Spike.
She was sorry and, incomprehensible as it was, she missed him bad.
She looked at her watch: there were about three hours to sunrise. What could she do to spend the time?
She would have gone patrolling, but she was afraid that someone could realize she was a vampire now.
After all, she wasn’t able to control her demon yet; she couldn’t risk revealing her true face in the middle of a fight.
Anyway, she hated being home all alone.

< No, Bad Buffy, forget it! You’re not going to him. He’s bad and rude and you needn’t to be… close to him… sleeping with him… under the covers of his bed…> and why she was thinking about it, she was already on her way to Spike’s crypt.

For the very first time, she opened the door as silently as she could, glad to see that he wasn’t upstairs. Maybe he already slept. That was what she wished: she didn’t feel like facing him right then, there would have been time after to make things clear and… also apologize.
Now, she just wanted to be close to him, without any word.
And she was lucky, because when she went downstairs she found him in his bed, deeply asleep. She crawled under the covers, very careful not to wake him up, and after crouching close to him without touching him, she closed her eyes satisfied.
Now she could sleep serenely.

TBC

PART 3


Spike awoke the afternoon after. As always, he got up and he went dressing. Only when he came out from the bathroom, he realized there was someone else in his bed.
He tugged the covers and, as he supposed, he found Buffy under them.
Due to the lack of the covers, she was starting stirring.
At the beginning, he was happy, then he remembered their quarrel.
“ Well, well. Look who is here: Miss Leave-Me-Alone must have changed her mind!” he exclaimed sarcastic in a bitter tone.
She started, jumping out off the bed.
“ I can explain. I’ve just come here to tell you something important…” she began explaining.
“ Yeah, and you have thought to sleep in my bed while you were waiting for my awakening, sure!” he commented, raising an eyebrow.
“ Ok, there’s more: I felt kinda alone at home and… anyway, don’t you wanna hear the big news?” she asked, hoping to manage to change subject as soon as possible.
“ Ok. Shoot away!”
“ Fine. Tara said that, after the spell to bring me back, something has happened to my cells; nothing serious, a part from a little detail: that fools your chip and it means you could have hurt me without feeling pain all this time long. So, now we know how you did the damn thing!”
“ It’s incredible! But it’s not what we were talking about!” the blond clarified.

< Here we go again! > Buffy thought, rolling her eyes.

“ You came here to sleep beside me, to feel me close to you… it must mean something!”
“ Yeah. It means that I’m stupid, it was a bad idea and I’d better go now…” she said, reaching the door, but it was enough to open it a little to let a ray of sun let in, forcing her to back off and close it immediately.
“ No escapes, pet. You are stuck with me and I’m sure you are glad for it. I know you like spending time with me…” he said, approaching her slowly.
“ In your dreams!” she snapped.
“ And in yours, too!” he struck back.
They kept silent for a while, a little puzzled by those words.
Spike resumed talking first.
“ Stop hiding behind lame excuses and bloody admit you feel something for me!” he summoned her.
“ Bite me!” she struck back, sticking her tongue to him.
“ Already done that, sweetie and…”
Suddenly, they looked at each other and their eyes opened wide, remembering everything about that night.
“ That’s how it all began!” Buffy exclaimed.
“ When you felt me biting you, you said we were dreaming…” Spike commented.
She hoped he wouldn’t remember just every single thing, but she hadn’t that luck.
“ You said YOU DREAMED ‘bout me, and I’m not talking about me and you playing cards or telling stories!”
Buffy had never wished the sunset as much as she did then: she could feel it coming; just few minutes again and she could have escaped.
But those minutes seemed to last hours.
She listened to Spike silently, keeping her distance cautiously as he tried to get closer.
“ You dreamed ‘bout me having sex with you, biting you, turning you, kissing you… Wait! We really kissed! And * you* kissed me first!”
This time Buffy couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
“ I was just tasting the alcohol… “ she justified, coming back to the door, but he dragged her to him.
“ Liar! It’s the same thing you told me when I kissed you again, remember?” he said, wrapping an arm ‘round her waist.
“ Well, now I’m totally sober…” he explained, bringing his face close to hers. Oddly, she hadn’t tried to break free from his embrace.
“… let’s see if I can make you moan, anyway!” and saying that, he smashed his lips to hers.
After protesting a bit, Buffy, not only surrendered to his kiss, but she also participated.
Inevitably, soon the room was filled with her moans mingled to his.
Suddenly, she broke the kiss.
“ I can’t…” she exclaimed, backing off towards the door, but Spike didn’t do anything to stop her.
“ This is wrong..” she kept talking, opening it, thanking the sun for being set.
“ Now I must go. Gotta tell the truth to my friends… they’re waiting for me..” she informed him, before running away.
Spike remained alone with his thoughts, pacing in his crypt.

< She kissed me back… but she ran away scared! Is there a bloody logic between her actions and her reactions? That girl will drive me crazy! If I had stopped her, she would have surely denied everything, it’s Buffy ‘s second nature! What if she kissed me, thinking of… NO, it can’t be that! BLOODY HELL! Look at me; I’m brooding like him! This can’t be me! >

Meantime, Buffy was running to the ‘ Magic Box ‘, trying not to think about that kiss, about how she felt… about what she felt for Spike… whatever it was.
There was no time to cry or regret: she had a hard mission to carry out.

As soon as she let in the ‘ Magic Box’ she noticed that everyone was already there.
“ Buffy, what’s the matter? Why this meeting?” Giles asked, inviting her to sit.
“ I’ll do more than talking: I’ll show you!” she explained, concentrating, clinching her teeth and fists and trying to growl.
Nothing happened.
“ Buffy, are you sure you’re fine?” Xander asked astonished by her behavior, as everyone else.
“ I just wonder why he always does it so easily!” she muttered, getting up.
“ Ok guys, I guess I gotta find another way: look at me, don’t you see me paler than usual?”
“ It’s true, Buffy. Maybe you’re sick!” Willow observed worried.
“ That’s not the point!” the blonde exclaimed.
“ If you put a hand on my chest, you will realize my heart doesn’t beat anymore, and the only reason why I managed to let in, it’s because this is a public place…” she kept talking, approaching to a pile of books, which hid a mirror, starting to remove them one by one.
Hearing those words and seeing no reflections when she stood in front of the mirror, the others realized everything, jumping off their seats immediately.
“ YOU ARE A VAMPIRE!” they screamed terrified.
“ Yeah, but don’t worry, I’ve kept my soul!” she reassured them.
“ Oh m-my God, h-how d-did it happened?” Giles stuttered, cleaning his glasses nervously.
“ It’s a long story… Just..”
“ A vampire knocked you down and turned you against your will, it can be only that!” Xander interrupted her.
“ Not exactly. As I was saying, it was after…”
“ Oh! Maybe someone cast a spell on you, turning you into a vamp!” Willow suggested, interrupting her again.
“Neither that. Anyway, after that infinite day here as a shop girl, I..”
“ I bet this mess it’s Bunnies’ doing!”
“ No, Anya. NO bloody bunnies!” she snapped, tired of all those intermissions.
“ I…”
“ What about a prophecy?” Giles commented, looking for a book.
“ Would you all be so nice to SHUT UP?” she roared exasperated.
The Scoobies gave out a shout and Giles started.
“ What?” Buffy wondered, not figuring out why everyone was shocked.
“ Your.. face…” Tara explained gently.
Touching herself, Buffy realized she had slipped to her game-face.
“ Alright! Now that I don’t need it anymore, it shows up!” she muttered, rolling her now amber eyes.
“ Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to scare you!” she apologized.
“ Well, my demonic visage is way more terrifying than yours!” Anya commented proudly.
“ After all, you’re not so bad…” Xander exclaimed, arousing Anya ‘s jealousy, so she punched him in the stomach.
“ Anya, you know I love only you, honey!” he reassured her, caressing her face.
“ It’s kind of interesting, I’d better write on my Diary about it!” Giles said, watching her with such a great attention that made her feel uneasy.
In fact, she turned to the two Wiccas.
“ Don’t worry, Buffy. Now I’m just a bit surprised, but I’ll get used to your game-face soon!” Willow promised.
“ Me, too!” Tara added, smiling to her sweetly.
“ Anyway… could you please… shake it off?” the red required shyly.
“ Sure!” Buffy exclaimed, concentrating.
“ I just gotta wish it away…”
After few seconds she came back to her human features.
“ Well pet, you learn quickly!” Spike exclaimed, letting in the shop.
“ Spike, what are you doing here?” she asked, astonished to see him, especially after what had happened between them.
“ Yeah Spike, you chose the worst moment to show up; we are in the middle of a tragedy and..”
Suddenly, Xander stopped, looking first at Buffy, which tried to avoid both his and the blond’s gazes, and then at Spike.
He gasped.
“ Wait! First, you didn’t seem so surprised to see her change and then you talked about learning… OH MY GOD! Buffy, tell me he’s not the culprit!” Xander begged her, scared.
“ I could tell you he’s not, but it wouldn’t be the truth: yes, Spike is my Sire!” she declared, watching the floor.
Xander dashed to the table, grabbing a stake and hurling to the bleached vampire.
“ Bastard! How could you do that to her?” he shout, taking him by the leap of his coat, raising the stake towards him, without any reaction from Spike.
“ I’m gonna do something Buffy should have done a long time ago…”

TBC

PART 4

Suddenly, the brunette felt someone snatching the stake from his hand.
Turning, he met the flashing yellow eyes of a very pissed off Buffy, which parted him from Spike, shoving him to the floor roughly.
“ Don’t dare to touch him!” she growled, placing herself in front of the blond, in a protective way.
No one dared to talk for a while. Giles did it first.
“ Fascinating!”
“ What? She went all ‘ Grr ‘ at my boyfriend and you find it fascinating?” Anya blamed him.
“ This is typical, it’s their bond: Sire and Childe are very protective to each other; that’s why she acted that way when Xander attacked him!” Giles explained.
“ I couldn’t explain it better myself, Rupert!” Spike smirked.
“ Ok, I learned my lesson. Ouch. Calm down, Buffy! I’ll do nothing to your precious Sire!” Xander said, getting up laboriously, keeping his distance from her.
Buffy seemed to calm down and her growl stopped.
“ Buffy, how can it be Spike? He can’t bite anyone!” Giles observed.
The blonde turned to Tara.
“ Haven’t’ you told them yet?”
“ Well, I’ve found out just yesterday; I tought you needed to know it first, but it seems I warned you too late…”
“ What are you two chatting about?” Giles interrogated them.
“ Since Buffy has come back, something funny has happened to her cells and that fools my chip; so she was the only human I could hurt without pain!” Spike explained.
“ So, as soon as you found out, you took advantage of the situation, you…” Xander accused him, but Buffy resumed growling to him, making him shut up.
“ Actually, he didn’t know anything!” Buffy defended him, amazing everyone, especially Spike.
“ We don’t remember exactly how it happened; anyway, I went to his crypt, we got drunk, the day after I woke up a s a vamp!” Buffy said as quickly as she could.
Spike was a little upset that she hadn’t told her friends how things had faithfully gone, but he seemed to understand. After all, they were already enough shocked.
“ You got drunk?!” Xander asked in disbelief.
“ How much did you drink? What did you drink? Did you drink wine? And if you did, was it one of a good vintage year?” Anya asked curios.
“ Buffy, you are the Slayer, your duty is killing vampires, not getting drunk with them! You’ve been very irresponsible…” Giles blamed her.
That was too much for her.
“ What? You think I’m happy ‘bout it? Ask Spike ‘bout my ‘ cheerful ‘ reaction! I didn't ask for it…” she said and tears began falling from her eyes.
“ I didn’t ask to come back to life… And I’VE NEVER ASKED TO BE PULLED DOWN FROM HEAVEN!” she screamed.
Realizing what she had done and the umpteenth shock she had provoked, she ran away, before Spike could stop her.

Willow felt guilty the most.
Noticing that Spike was the only one not surprised, she approached him.
“ Did… y- you already k- know?” she stuttered.
“ She told me when she came back, but she made me swear not to tell anyone… she didn't want you to know and I’m sure she didn’t mean to tell you it. I’d better go to find her..” he explained, but she stopped him, taking him by the arm.
“ No. I’ll do!” she said, resolute.
“ But I’m the only one who can find her! I feel her, instead you…”
Spike stopped, seeing Willow closing her eyes to concentrate, embracing herself.
“ TAKE ME WHERE
I CAN FIND HER!”
And saying that, she disappeared in a cloud of blue smoke.
“ She had got some point, after all..” Spike commented, dumbfound.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy was sat on a swing, rocking absently, finding some comfort in the quiet of that place.
She understood why April, the robot, had chosen to refuge just in that Park when she had realized that Warren didn’t want her anymore.
Warren… it was only his fault, and the other two’s: if they hadn’t messed up with her life, she would have never got drunk with Spike and…
“ Here you go!” Willow exclaimed behind her shoulders, startling her and taking her mind off from her thoughts.
She turned, drying her eyes.
“ How did you find me? Oh, sure: you are a witch, stupid question!”
“ Yeah, I’m a witch, but I can see that my magic is not always good for everyone… Buffy, I’m terribly sorry! It must be so hard…”
“ It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s fault! You didn’t know and you shouldn’t have known, not that way! I’m the one who has to apologize!”
“ No, Buffy, you were right. We’ve been very selfish and when you told us about what happened with Spike, we’ve been very rude, we didn’t have the right to judge you…”
“ Let’s stop playing ‘ Whose fault is it? ‘! After all, I have to thank you, it’s good to live again, well… now I’d better say un-live… “
“ Don’t worry, Buffy, everything will be fine! You must be so confused, you don’t even know how it happened. I just wonder how Spike could have been so cruel to…”
“ Actually, I lied, Will…” she interrupted her.
“ What?”
“ I said we didn’t know how it happened. And it was true… ‘till this afternoon… when we suddenly remembered everything…” Buffy confessed, taking a deep breath, which she didn’t even need, before carrying on.
“ We got drunk, we argued as always, so I said ‘ Bite me!’ as a joke, but he did it! We didn’t know anything ‘bout my cells and his chip thing, so I told him he could bite me because we were dreaming…”
“ Oh! Well, it was the alcohol that..”
“ That’s not the point, Will! Not only I told him we were dreaming, but also that I used to dream about that and I added it wasn’t the only thing he did to me in my dreams..”
“ Buffy… is it what I think it is?” Willow asked wavering.
“ Yes: I dreamt ‘bout having sex with him! So, finally, he also thought we were dreaming, and he said that he needed to do what he always did in every dreams of his..”
“ So, he turned you, right? I just wonder why you didn’t react…”
“ Wanna know how much I reacted? All I did is telling him I had also dreamt ‘bout that once or twice and I enjoyed that every time… even the real one!” she admitted, breaking down and crying.
“ So, Will, can’t you see how much your friend is wrong?”
“ You’re not wrong! After all, we all saw how much Spike has changed and now we have no doubt he really loves you. Question is… do you love him?” the red wondered.
“ Love him? No, I can’t love Spike! Just because I dreamt about him and I still do and I know it’s not due to the bond; just because he was so fond of my Mom and she loved him like a son, just like Dawn loves him like a brother; just because he has been so sweet and caring with me after my death, but even before; just because I feel complete just when I’m with him; just because all I want is to lose myself forever in his strong arms that are waiting fro me for so long; just because I’m craving for him to kiss me once more… Oh, God! I LOVE HIM!” Buffy exclaimed, bringing a hand to her mouth after saying that.
Willow looked at her with a knowing smile.
“ I have finally admitted it to myself…” the blonde muttered.
“ Yeah, so why don’t you go admitting to him?” Willow suggested.
“ But the others will never accept..”
“ Buffy, think about yourself for once! Don’t worry ‘bout the others: Tara and Anya will accept it easily; it will be hard with Giles and especially Xander! I’ll talk with them, and if they don’t understand… well, Amy will be happy to have some company in her cage!” Willow said, making Buffy smile.
“ I mean, you know how much we all love you, so if you wanna stay with Spike because he makes you happy, well, just do it! You deserve to be happy, so don’t let anything or anyone stop you this time!” her friend advised her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“ Oh, Will!” the blonde exclaimed, getting up and hugging her.
“ Well, are you still there? Go, run to him!” the red incited her.
“ Sure, don’t forget to tell me everything in slightest details, then!” Willow assured before the blonde disappeared in the dark of the night.
---------------------------------------------------
As she expected, she found him in his crypt.
It just took few seconds to Spike to feel her presence.
“ So, what? Did you come back ‘cause you don’t fancy being home alone again, or just to tell me how much you hate me for what I’ve done to you?” he asked in a bitter tone, his back turned to her.
“ Actually, I’m here to … apologize…”
He turned, watching her in disbelief.
“ I’m sorry for never thanking you..” she explained.
“ For what?”
“ Well, it’s a long list: I’ve never thanked you for defending Dawn ’s secret; I’ve never thanked you for remaining here, although I was dead, helping the others and supporting Dawn; I’ve never thanked you for being so nice and kind with me when I came back…” she said, taking a step closer for every single thing she thanked him for.
“ And I’ve never thanked you, not for turning me, but for giving me the chance to spend eternity with the man I love…”
The blond’s eyes hardened.
“ Sure! You come here to say goodbye to run in Mr. Born-To-Be-Sad ‘s waiting arms! I would wish you two to be happy, but you know the bloody consequences!” he exclaimed turning again, wondering where he found the strength to be witty in such a painful moment for him.
Her only answer, she approached stealthily, hugging him from behind.
“ Silly, silly, silly boy! I was talking about you!” she smiled, caressing his hair.
He turned instantly, with the most astonished of the looks.
“ Buffy… you said…”
“ I know what I said and I bloody mean it!” she clarified.
“ Thought I had told you not to steal my words!” he smiled, playing with a lock of her hair.
“ Thought I had told you I do what I want!” she struck back, touching his mouth with a finger.
“ Buffy, just promise you won’t run away again, if I kiss you…” he begged her, bending on her.
“ Not. Going. Anywhere!” she reassured him, caressing his shoulders.
They kissed for a very long time and at the end, Buffy burst out laughing.
“ What?” Spike asked, not very pleased by her reaction.
“ You were right: you do have lots of nicknames for him!” she explained, snuggling against his black T-shirt.
“ Well, pet, I could go on forever…” he laughed.
“ Mm.. forever… I like that word…” she purred, kissing him again.
“ Mm.. and what do you think ‘bout this word (kiss)? And this one (kiss) and this one (kiss)…” he moaned.
“ I adore every word you say, Spike, (kiss). Never quit talking to me (longer kiss)!”

Suddenly, she felt a strange taste in her mouth and when she figured out what it was she parted, touching her face to realize that her demon had prevailed over, scraping Spike’s lower lip.
Spike figured out that, too.
“ Pet, don’t say you’re sorry, because there’s no reason: I enjoyed that, and it’s more than natural, ok?” he said, holding her hands.
She smiled.
“ You know what? I was sure only rage could bring my game face on the surface… instead, this time … it was love!”
He pulled her to him to kiss her again, but she stopped him.
“ First, let me shake it off…”
“ Don’t!” he summoned her.
She questioned him with her golden eyes.
“ You are beautiful the way you are. And I know you liked that, too. And maybe you want more…” he said, exposing his neck.
“ No, Spike, I can’t…” she answered, staring at his neck, giving out a soft growl.
“ C’mon! After all, you haven’t even eaten yet tonight…”
“ Neither you have!” she exclaimed, pulling her hair behind to bare her neck.
“ I want you to do the same!” she required, approaching to kiss him, being careful not to hurt him again, until she realized satisfied he had also slipped to his game-face.
“ How could I have been so blind to never notice how beautiful you are?” she whispered, caressing his bumpy face.
After an understanding gaze, they bit down into each other’s neck simultaneously, tasting mutually for few minutes.
Buffy stopped first, coming back to her human visage, watching Spike, which was also back to his human features, shocked.
“ That was w..”
“ No. Don’t say ‘ wrong ’; please…” he begged her, dreading her umpteenth escape.
She shook her head, smiling.
“… wonderful!”

TBC

EPILOGUE

THE WEEK AFTER (Evening)

“ Hello, I’m back!” Dawn exclaimed, letting in the house.
“ Welcome back, Dawnie!” Buffy said, hugging her.
“ Have you enjoyed yourself with your friends?”
“ A lot! What about you, any news?” Dawn asked, taking off her jacket.
“ Actually, lots of stuff happened. I have good news… and less good ones..” the blonde confessed.
“ Tell me the good ones, first!”
“ Spike and I now are together…”
The younger girl squeezed in delight, interrupting her.
“ Buffy, it’s sooooo wonderful, you’re not kidding, right? How long have you been together and how did the others react?” the teen-ager interrogated her, very excited.
“ It’s the pure truth: we’ve been together for almost a week and the others… well, Tara and Anya accepted it easily.. with Giles and Xander it was pretty hard, but Willow helped a lot, that girl can always find the right words for every occasion… “

< … and she can also resort to threats if necessary! > she thought amused.

Before the little sister resumed her huge interrogation, Buffy decided to tell her the other news.
“ Hey, don’t you know that Will, Xan and Anya had found out who was messing up with my life? They were nonetheless three stupid nerds that probably watch too much TV! But after we had scared them … maybe way too much, they will think twice before playing with me again! I wouldn’t be so surprised if they had already left the town! Well, then I’ll tell you everything!”
“ You bet, I don’t wanna miss a single detail…. and you know I’m not talking only ‘bout the three stupid ‘s story!” Dawn answered with a malicious smile.
“ Ah, guess what? I’ve also found a job, nothing special: I’ll just work three nights a week in a new self-service, the ‘ DoubleMeat Palace ‘. I’ve been hired yesterday and I’ll start tomorrow. Do you know what it means? That Spike will patrol, and if you want you can go with him…”
Dawn squeezed once again.
“ Really?” she asked with the largest of the smiles.
“ Sure. It’s time I quit treating you like a little fragile girl to protect, and let you learn how to defend! After all, with Spike you are safe…” the blonde explained.
Dawn hugged her once more, sparkling with joy.
“ You and Spike together, and me patrolling with him!!! There can’t be any bad news after what you told me!”
“ Well, Dawnie… I don’t think you’ll be so happy ‘bout this news: now… I’m a vampire!”
Dawn parted from her immediately, backing off.
“ I’m a * soulful* vamp, don’t be afraid!” she reassured her sweetly and her sister approached to her again.
“ It’s not something we planned. Anyway, Spike sired me and I let him do it… but we both didn’t know exactly what we were doing… it’s such a long story!”

That was a big silence, but Dawn broke it first, after watching with great attention her sister for a while.
“ Ok!” she exclaimed, shrugging.
“ What? You’re not mad at me or at Spike?! Believe me, I made a fuss myself when I found out it!” the blonde confessed, astonished.
“ Well, Buffy, you said you kept your soul…”
“ Yes!”
“ So, you’re not evil..”
“ Nope!”
“ You are still the Slayer…”
“ Yeah! That’s why there’s not the new one: the Slayer in me is not dead!”
“ Are you going to leave me?”
“ Never!”
“ See? Nothing is changed: you are just paler and cold, we won’t have a picnic or take a walk together in sunlight anymore; but you are still my beloved big sister!” Dawn explained, kissing her cheek to show her she wasn’t afraid.

“ So, has Spike already packaged his things?”
“ What?” Buffy asked puzzled.
“ Oh, C’mon! I hope you won’t think I’ll let you two stay in that gray sad, but comfy, crypt; when this house is so large! We’ll just have to keep the windows shut and pull the curtains during the daylight…” Dawn explained.
“ Oh, Dawniiiiieeeee!” Buffy squeezed, hugging her.
“ I go giving Spike the good news! You can’t begin to imagine how much he was agitated: he was sure you would wait for him with a stake in your hand!” Buffy chuckled, opening the door.
“ Anyway, you know…. You and I could still spend some days in the sunlight, if B.B.B. …. I mean, Angel, was so kind to lend me his special ring once in a while…” she smiled, departing, leaving Dawn puzzled, with a big question in her mind.

< B.B.B.?! >

THE END.