Chapter 1

Buffy Summers sat in her classroom on a very uneventful Friday afternoon. She was lost in her thoughts yet again. She knew that something was missing in her life, but she didn’t know what that was. She just wished that something exciting could happen for once.

A small voice broke her out of her reverie.

“Miss Buffy, I’m all done.”

She looked down at the child that held out a small drawing. Buffy smiled and accepted the offering. “This is a very nice picture of your family, Sarah. Can you tell me who everyone is?”

The little girl nodded and started pointing out the people in her drawing. “That’s my mommy and daddy. That’s my brother; he’s a big doodie head.”

Buffy laughed at her description of her brother.

Sarah then ran back to her desk when she was done.

Buffy smiled and watched her go. She was a kindergarten teacher at the young age of twenty-four and knew that she couldn’t imagine doing anything else. She loved kids and hoped to have some of her own one day. Until that happened, she was just happy to be with children. She’d given them an assignment of drawing a picture of their families.

The children were all very creative in their own special way. They always loved to draw and make pictures for her. Their other favorite time was story hour. They would sit together on the floor and listen intently as Buffy told them a fairy-tale. They always got into it.

The day was over an hour later and the parents started to arrive to pick up their kids.

Buffy smiled when she saw a familiar man enter the room. “Hey, Angel. I see you finally showed up.”

He smiled at her and held the hand of a small boy. “Well, I couldn’t have Cordy come all the time. How was he today?”

“Connor was great, just like always.”

Angel smiled again and picked up his son. “How about I take you to get some ice cream?”

The little boy’s face lit up at that. “Yay!” he exclaimed.

Angel laughed. “Just don’t tell your mother.”

Connor nodded and rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

Angel turned back to Buffy. “You’re really doing a great job here. Connor is always talking about you. He’s usually so shy, but he loves coming to your class. I just hope he still feels this way when he gets to high school.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be a piece of cake.”

Angel wasn’t convinced, but decided to change the subject. “How about you come over for dinner on Sunday? Cordelia would love to see you and I’m sure Connor would, too.”

Buffy thought about it. She has known Cordelia and Angel since Connor started coming to the school and she became instant friends with the couple. She practically fell in love with Connor at first sight. She was surprised that a child so young could be so well-behaved. She supposed it was because he had great parents. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Angel shook his head. “It’s no imposition; we would love to have you. Cordy’s brother just got in yesterday; he’ll be staying with us for a bit. I’m sure she would love to have another woman around.”

“I’m not sure, Angel. I might have plans,” she replied.

“That’s fine; just give us a call if you change your mind.”

Buffy nodded and watched as Angel left with Connor. She stayed behind for a bit to talk to a few of the other parents that wanted to know how their kids were doing. She turned back to her desk once everyone was gone to grab her belongings, then headed out of the school.


* * * * *


Buffy walked into her house and hung up her coat. She put her bag down and made her way into the kitchen. She rolled her eyes when she saw the note on the counter and picked it up. She read it over and then threw it away. He must have come home during lunch to leave that note, saying that he would be working late again.

“What else is new?” she asked herself, deciding to fix something to eat. Buffy made a sandwich and then headed back to the living room. She flopped on the couch and turned the television on. She munched on the sandwich and channel surfed for about a half an hour. She lay down and got more comfortable, soon falling into a deep sleep.


* * * * *


Buffy woke up to the sound of the front door slamming. She rubbed her eyes and looked up at the person that was now standing there.

“How long have you been home?” he asked.

“I don’t know, maybe a few hours. I must have fallen asleep.”

He rolled his eyes and headed into the kitchen, coming back out a few seconds later. “I see you haven’t even made any dinner. I work hard all day, Buffy. The least you could have done was make something before taking a nap.”

Buffy nodded and stood up. “I’m sorry, Lindsey. I’ll make something now.”

He shook his head and bounded up the stairs. “Never mind. I’m not that hungry, anyway. I’m going to take a shower.”

Buffy cringed when she heard the bathroom door slam shut. He never knew how to close a door gently. She went into the kitchen and decided to make him a sandwich anyway. He would probably be hungry later.


* * * * *


Buffy woke up alone the next morning and put her robe on as she headed downstairs. She found Lindsey in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee.

He looked up at her. “What are you doing today?”

Buffy turned away and started to make some toast. “I’m meeting my dad, like I do every Saturday.”

“Don’t give me an attitude, Buffy. I was just asking a question.”

Buffy shut her eyes at the harshness of his voice. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He seemed to be satisfied at that and turned back to the paper he was reading. When he was finished, he stood up and placed the empty cup in the sink for her to wash. “I’ll be working late again tonight. I expect to have dinner ready when I get home.”

Buffy nodded and watched him walk away. She finished her toast, then went upstairs to change.


* * * * *


Buffy met her father at the park, which was something of a tradition.

He smiled and gave her a hug. “How’ve you been, princess?”

Buffy grinned at the affectionate name. “I’m good, Daddy. It’s great to see you. I’m beginning to think once a week isn’t enough.”

Hank nodded and pulled away. “How is that man treating you? Do I need to give him the belt?”

Buffy laughed. “I don’t think we need to result to violence. Lindsey’s great; things couldn’t be better.”

Hank could tell that Buffy wasn’t being honest, but he didn’t say anything about it. “Let’s go for a walk, honey. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Buffy nodded and they both turned toward town.


* * * * *


They found themselves at the Espresso Pump a half an hour later. They were sitting down and enjoying two cups of cappuccino.

“Your mother is thinking about selling the gallery.”

Buffy was surprised at her father’s words. “Why would she do that? The gallery has been in the family for decades. She loves that place.”

Hank nodded. “It’s hard for both of us, but she feels that it’s the right choice. It hasn’t been doing so well lately. We haven’t gotten any new art and without the merchandise, we’re not making much money.”

Buffy couldn’t believe it, but she didn’t know what else to say. She knew that she had to do something to help. She looked at her watch and sighed as she gazed back at her father. “I have to get going. I have things to do around the house before Lindsey gets home.”

Hank nodded and watched as his only child stood up. He saw the sadness in her eyes and knew that she wasn’t happy, no matter what she told anyone.

“It was great seeing you again, Dad. Give my love to Mom, I’ll try to visit as soon as I can,” she said and gave him a hug.

He hugged her in return and let her go after a few seconds.

Buffy flashed him another smile, then turned and left the Espresso Pump. She wasn’t really paying attention as she pushed the door open and walked right into the person that was about to enter, causing the still hot cappuccino that she was holding to spill all over him.

“Ow, bloody hell! Watch where you’re going!” he yelled.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

The man rolled his eyes, without looking at her and tried to wipe the coffee off of him.

She then grabbed some napkins and decided to help him. Buffy was wiping his shirt the best way she could, while she continued to apologize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” He seized the napkins out of her hands and wiped his pants. He then tossed them into the nearby garbage can when he was finished. “Look, next time just watch what you’re doing,” he said and finally looked up at her. He quickly lost his train of thought at the beautiful woman that was standing in front of him, forgetting all about the spilled coffee.

Buffy figured that he was still mad at her and kept with the apologies. “I’m really sorry,” she said and tried not to cry. She could be a bit clumsy sometimes.

He gave her a smile to make her feel better. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It was just an accident. My name’s, Spike.” He held out his hand.

Buffy sighed in relief that he didn’t seem to be mad anymore and shook his hand. “Buffy, it’s nice to meet you.”

Spike nodded and let her hand go.

They just stood there in silence after that.

Buffy decided to speak up first. “Well, I should go. I’m really sorry again.”

Spike waved his hand in the air. “Stop apologizing, it’s nothing. Maybe I’ll see you around?”

Buffy only nodded and then walked away, without saying anything else to him.

Spike watched her go and knew that he would definitely be seeing her again.

Chapter 2

The minute that she walked into the house, Buffy sensed something was amiss. There was a commotion coming from in the kitchen, and knowing that Lindsey wouldn’t be home yet, she grabbed the umbrella by the door and slowly moved toward the open doorway. She was about to raise it, when a loud belch rang through the air. She smiled in relief and lowered her makeshift weapon, realizing who the intruder was.

“I think I might regret giving you a key, Riley.”

He smiled when he noticed her. “You know you’d miss having me around.”

Buffy moved closer and gave him a hug. “You have no idea,” she whispered.

Riley pulled away, his easy smile dissolving into a frown. “I know that face. Is my brother being a dick again?”

“It’s nothing that I can’t handle.”

He wasn’t convinced. “You shouldn’t have to handle it. Why do you put up with him? You deserve so much better. I know Lindsey; he likes to be in control. He’s been like that ever since we were kids. He hardly ever lets you see your family or friends because he likes to keep you here doing housework. That’s not you, Buffy. I just can’t stand the way he treats you.”

The sound of his concern inspired tears to her eyes.

Riley instantly felt a sting of remorse for making her cry, and wrapped his arms around her in consolation. “I’m not trying to hurt you, sweetie,” he murmured. “You’re an amazing woman and you deserve so much more than him.”

Buffy shook her head and pulled away. “I don’t think I can find anyone else. Lindsey was my first real boyfriend. No one ever paid attention to me before…he was the only one that showed any interest. We’ve been together for three years and I can’t just throw that away. I know things are hard now, but they will get better. Lindsey is just dealing with a lot of stress at work. He needs me right now.”

Riley nodded, however unconvinced he was, and decided to change the subject. “You should come to the Bronze tonight. I know everyone would love to see you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He nodded again and smiled, moving forward to hug her once more. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Say hi to Lorne for me.”

Riley pulled away. “I’ll be sure to do that. Take care of yourself,” he told her, then disappeared out the back door.

Buffy released a deep sigh when she was alone again. She knew he spoke the truth, but couldn’t shake her fear of being alone. Things weren’t all bad with Lindsey. She didn’t think that anyone else could ever want her.

Almost reluctantly, she found herself thinking about the blond man that she’d met outside the Espresso Pump. Well, crashed into was more like it. He was very attractive and had the most intense blue eyes that she has ever seen. Buffy sighed again and quickly forced those thoughts away; there was no point dwelling on what she couldn’t have. She would probably never see him again.


* * * * *


“Where do you think you’re going?”

Buffy stopped at Lindsey’s voice. “I was going to the Bronze. Your brother invited me. I didn’t think you would be home until later.”

“So, you just decided to go by yourself?”

Buffy nodded, refusing to meet his eyes.

Lindsey marched over to her, hooking a finger under her chin and lifting her head until they were at eye level. “Well, you don’t have to do that now. I was hoping you would stay in tonight.” He capped the thought with a grin, trailing his hands down her arms.

Buffy shivered and moved away. “I always stay in. I’ll only be gone for about an hour. I wanted to see my friends. I feel like I haven’t in a while and I really miss them.”

Lindsey sighed his frustration, the attempt at seduction gone, and ran his fingers through his hair. “Fine, but only for an hour. And I don’t want you wearing that. You look like a slut. Put something else on that doesn’t make you seem so easy.”

He turned and walked back into the living room without waiting for her reply.

Buffy was left there, stunned. Tears swelled without warning, though she quickly shook them away. There would be time for that later. Best now to leave without a scene.

Very quietly, she returned upstairs and changed her clothes.


* * * * *


Buffy plastered on a smile when she walked into the Bronze, immediately locating her friends, who were perched at their normal table.

Xander bounded to his feet when he saw her, taking her into a big hug. “Well, if it isn’t the Buffster? I see you finally decided to grace us with your presence.”

“Yeah, I needed to get out,” she replied, hugging him back.

He nodded and pulled away. “That’s understandable.”

Buffy sat down, flashing them friendly smiles and waves in greeting. She saw that Willow was there with her girlfriend, Tara. Xander’s girlfriend, Anya, was talking about leaving early. Buffy had a feeling that she knew why the woman wanted to leave early, and she just smiled at her easy brazenness. She really missed them.

After a few minutes, Buffy glanced up and saw that Riley and Lorne were making their way over to the table.

“Well, who is this vision of loveliness?”

She smiled at Lorne and stood to give him a hug.

“It’s great to see you, too,” she said and pulled away after a few seconds.

“I’m glad you decided to come tonight, Buffy,” Riley said sincerely.

They all sat down and tried to talk over the loud music. The easy conversation made it simple for Buffy to forget her troubles, however momentarily. It wasn’t long before she found herself laughing for the first time in a long while, and she remembered how much she enjoyed the feeling.

After a few rounds, they decided to go dance when a fast song came on.

Buffy was going to sit that one out, but Willow wouldn’t have it. She jerked her out of her seat and all but dragged her to the dance floor. It didn’t take long to push her reservations aside; Buffy started moving to the beat, basking in the sense of liberation. Her eyes fluttered shut as the music carried her. She was in her own little world, when someone then came up behind her and wrapped their arms around her waist. Her eyes flashed open, and she immediately noticed that her friends had seemingly vanished into thin air. She twisted in the stranger’s arms, determined to see who decided to invade her space.

She started in surprise when her eyes clashed with a familiar blue.

“Hello, cutie,” he said with a smile.

Buffy didn’t know how to reply to that. She was face to face with the same man that she met earlier that day. The same man that she convinced herself that she would never see again. “Hi,” she finally said and cringed at how lame that sounded.

He didn’t even respond as he wrapped his arms back around her and moved to the music.

It was then that Buffy realized that a slow song was now playing. She decided that one dance couldn’t hurt and moved with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

Spike pulled her closer and inhaled her sweet scent. He hadn’t been able to get the golden beauty out of his mind since she literally crashed into his life. Finding her dancing in the Bronze had been the surprise of a lifetime, but he wasn’t about to doubt his good fortune. He couldn’t remember ever seeing such a gorgeous sight.

Buffy pulled away the second that the song ended.

Spike was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize it was over.

Buffy couldn’t believe that she danced with a complete stranger and enjoyed it. She’d allowed herself to get carried away for probably the first time in her life. “I have to go,” she said suddenly, and tried to move away from him.

He grabbed her arm. “I really want to see you again,” he replied and was surprised at how nervous he sounded. Women never made him nervous, not anymore.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I really have to go.”

Spike sighed and watched her walk away. There was definitely something special about that girl and he was determined to find out more.

Chapter 3

“Does he have to stay here?”

Cordelia rolled her eyes for what had to be the millionth time that day. “We already talked about this, Angel. Will’s having some problems in England and needs to get away for a while. Just give him a chance.”

Angel sighed. “Fine, but I’m only doing this for you.”

Cordelia beamed and brushed a kiss across her husband’s cheek.

The moment was interrupted when a blond man entered the kitchen, a five-year-old clinging to his back.

“Uncle Spike was giving me a piggy back ride!” the child exclaimed proudly.

Angel didn’t look impressed. “That’s just great, Spike. You’re going to shake him up. He just ate.”

Spike rolled his eyes and lowered the child to the ground.

“Connor, go play in your room,” Cordelia instructed. The child nodded and obeyed.

Angel turned back to Spike. “I don’t want you to get him all hyper.”

“Lighten up, Peaches. I was just having some fun with the tyke.”

Angel glared at him for the awful nickname, but decided to drop it. It was easier simply to change the subject. “Connor’s teacher is coming over for dinner tonight and I would appreciate it if you didn’t act like yourself.”

“I didn’t behave for my own teachers when I was in school. Why would I start now?”

Angel clenched his fists at his side. He never got along with the bleached menace, but he was Cordelia’s step-brother, so wringing his neck was out of the question. He would put forth an effort for her.

“Spike, it wouldn’t kill you to act your age for once,” Cordelia observed.

Angel sighed in relief, surprised that she decided to speak up.

“All right, but I won’t be happy about it. Look, I’m not trying to be difficult. I really appreciate you two letting me stay here, but there’s only so much I can take. I’ve thought about it, and I think it’ll be better if I rent an apartment. I even found one that’s not that far from here. I need my own space and there’s no telling how long I’ll be in this town.”

“Your own space? What, the guestroom isn’t big enough for you? I’m sure you need something bigger for all of the bimbos that you plan on bringing home,” Angel spat, even though the thought of Spike leaving their home made him extremely happy. He knew about Spike’s way with women—that he basically lived for one night stands. The irritating blond preferred it if no commitment was involved.

Spike just smirked. “That’s the plan. I already have my eye on a certain beauty that I met yesterday, but she’s not a bimbo. This one is different…” He trailed off, his mind automatically flashing to the girl that had haunted him since their haphazard acquaintance. He shook his head and walked over to Cordelia, kissing her cheek. “Thanks for the hospitality, sis. I’ll be out of your hair by next week.” And with a two-finger salute to Angel, left the kitchen.

Angel looked at his wife. “I really hate that guy.”

Cordelia shook her head, but there was a hint of a smile on her face. “He likes to act up, but that’s all it is. Just an act, he’s really very sweet once you get to know him. Believe me; we couldn’t stand each other at first. I was so angry when my mom married his dad, but we ended up getting closer.”

Angel raised his eyebrows. “How close are we talking about?”

“Gross, Angel! Get your mind out of the gutter. We were nowhere near that close. We both lost a parent and could relate to each other about that, so it brought us a bit closer and we started to actually act like siblings. I’m the only one that gets away with calling him by his given name, but I try not to if I can help it. Spike was always very protective of me.”

“Well, that’s something we have in common then,” he claimed, placing a sweet kiss on her lips.


* * * * *


“You don’t really have to come with me, Lindsey. I know you don’t want to.”

“They are your friends, so I can at least try. As long as we don’t stay too long.”

Buffy nodded and offered a small smile. “I’ll call Cordelia to see if it’s okay,” she said, retreating to the phone. It meant a lot that he was actually trying.

Her high, however, was short-lived.

“Are you going to wear that? It looks trashy. I honestly don’t know where you get your clothes.” He gave an exasperated sigh. “I have an image to maintain, Buffy. It doesn’t when my girlfriend dresses so cheap. You should wear that blue dress that I got you. It’s very classy.”

Buffy sighed and went upstairs to change after she made the call. She just wished that he would say something nice to her for once.


* * * * *


“We’re so glad you could come over,” Cordelia said as she greeted her guests at the door.

Buffy smiled. “Thanks for having us.”

Cordelia led them into the kitchen, where they found Angel slaving over a hot stove.

He glanced up. “Dinner should be ready soon,” he said with a smile.

Buffy nodded and introduced Lindsey.

Then they heard footsteps coming down the stairs and a small boy bounded into the kitchen.

“Miss Buffy!” he exclaimed and hugged her legs.

Buffy smiled and kneeled down to be closer to the child. “It’s nice to see you, too.”

He nodded and grabbed her hand. “Wanna see my room?” he asked, pulling her away before she could respond.

Buffy looked at the others. “I’ll be right back,” she told them and let Connor lead her away.

He pulled her upstairs and led her into a room filled with toys. “I made more drawings for you,” he said, handing her a few of the pictures he’d made.

The pictures were of his family and a lot of dogs that looked to be running around. It was obvious that Connor wanted a pet. “These are really great, sweetie. Do I get to keep them?”

He nodded vigorously.

Buffy smiled and placed the drawings on his little desk, she would remember to get them later. He had to be the cutest little boy in the world.

“Well, what do we have here?”

Buffy turned at the sound of the voice. She was stunned to see the same blond man standing in the doorway. The same man that she has yet to get out of her mind.

“Isn’t this a small world?”

Buffy nodded, at a complete loss for words.

A small world indeed.

Chapter 4

Connor was too busy playing with a toy robot to notice the tension in the room.

Buffy walked over to Spike. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly.

“I live here…at least until next week.”

“Wait…are you Cordelia’s brother?”

Spike nodded. “Guilty as charged. Well, her step-brother actually. Are you the teacher?”

Buffy nodded as well.

Spike smirked. “If my teacher’s were as hot as you, I probably would have paid attention more.”

Heat kissed her cheeks, and Buffy quickly moved away from him. “We should get back downstairs.”

“Why are you always running away from me?”

She hesitated, then met his eyes. “Because I have to,” she replied, walking out of the room and down the stairs.

Spike let out a sigh. He didn’t think he would ever understand women, but he was definitely not going to give up.


* * * * *


Buffy entered the kitchen, wishing she was anywhere else.

Angel saw the distressed look on her face. “Are you okay?”

She gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Spike then walked into the kitchen.

Cordelia was about to introduce them, but Spike didn’t give her the chance.

“We already met upstairs,” he announced, his eyes not leaving Buffy. He frowned when he noticed a man that he didn’t recognize standing next to her.

Buffy caught the look and knew that she had to say something. “This is my boyfriend, Lindsey.”

Spike raised his eyebrows, obviously not expecting that. He just shook the other man’s hand. Right off, there was something he really didn’t like about the bloke. He tried to ignore the fact that his hand was on Buffy’s arm.

Dinner was ready and they all made their way into the dining room.

They ate in awkward silence, no one knowing what to start a conversation with.

Spike decided to take the lead. “So, how long have you two been together?”

Buffy looked at him. “We’ve been together for about three years now.”

Spike nodded, struggling to maintain his smile. “Where are you from, Lindsey?” he asked, bewildered that anyone could give their boy a girl’s moniker.

“I’m from Texas; I moved to California about ten years ago.” He seemed to be proud of his answer.

“What do you do?”

Buffy wondered what was up with the twenty questions, but she remained silent.

“I’m a lawyer.”

Spike rolled his eyes. He hated lawyers; there was no trusting them. “How nice for you,” he commented, taking a bite out of his chicken breast.

Buffy again wished that she could be elsewhere. Feeling like she needed to get out of the room, she bolted to her feet. “I’m just going to get some fresh air. I’ll be right back,” she explained hurriedly, disappearing without waiting for a response.

Spike looked at the expressions of everyone around the table. “I’m going outside for a smoke.” He got up and went after Buffy, leaving the others to stare after him.

Somehow, Lindsey was able to maintain his opinion until Spike was out of earshot. “She won’t get much fresh air with him smoking around her. I don’t understand how anyone could poison their lungs like that–it’s a disgusting habit. And what’s wrong with his hair? Why would anyone want that color?”

Angel and Cordelia both rolled their eyes, neither understanding what a smart woman like Buffy saw in him.


* * * * *


Spike found her outside, a pensive look on her face.

She turned around and sighed when she noticed him. “You weren’t supposed to follow me.”

“Like I wanted to stay in there. Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

Buffy raised her eyebrows. “When would I have told you that? We had one dance, Spike. That’s all it was and I honestly didn’t think I would see you again.”

Spike ran his fingers down her arms. “You know that’s not all it was.”

Shivers raced down her spine from his touch.

“He could never make you feel as good as I can,” he whispered.

Buffy realized that his lips were getting pretty close. She drew in a deep breath and waited as his mouth finally covered hers.

The kiss started out slow and then, as they grew comfortable with each other, became more passionate. Spike felt that he could kiss her forever. No woman has ever made him feel so alive.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, with just as much passion. It could have lasted forever if she hadn’t realized what she was doing. Just as quickly, she pulled away from him and took a step back. “We can’t do this.”

Spike didn’t attempt to conceal his disappointment. He gave her a pout. “Why not? We were doing fine and you can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything.”

Buffy shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t do this. I’m with Lindsey. I...I love him.”

Spike wasn’t convinced. “Right, next time try saying that without the stutter. You don’t love him, Buffy. You’re not even happy with him. I can tell from just seeing you together. You look like a woman that hasn’t been satisfied in months…possibly more than that.”

Buffy crossed her arms. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Spike rolled his eyes. She could be a damn stubborn bint, but it just made him want her all the more. “I know about love. Cordy and Angel, that’s what being in love looks like. I’m not sure what it is that you two have, but it’s not love. Anyone with half a brain can see that.”

Buffy wouldn’t listen. “You’re wrong, I have to go.”

Spike grabbed her arm. “I’m not letting you walk away again. We need to talk about this. There’s something going on between us and I know you feel it, too. I knew I was lost the moment I laid eyes on you. You can’t tell me that I’m the only one that felt that way.” He moved his eyes up and down her body. “Did he pick out this dress for you? That’s not you, Buffy. I just met you and I already know that. He’s trying to change you into someone you’re not. I can show you all that you’ve been missing, if you’ll let me. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Buffy looked into his eyes and could see how sincere he was. No one has ever looked at her like that before. Yeah, she was definitely lost.

Chapter 5

“What’s going on, Buffy? You’ve been acting weird since we left their house.”

“It’s nothing. I just wasn’t feeling very well.”

Lindsey didn’t look like he believed her, but he accepted it anyway. There was no point in arguing. “I’m going to bed.”

Buffy watched as he went upstairs, Spike’s earlier words echoing through her mind.

She’d never been so confused.


* * * * *


Later that night, Buffy was lying in bed next to Lindsey, unable to sleep. She had to prove that Spike was wrong somehow. There was plenty of love and romance in their relationship. She looked at Lindsey and smiled, then moved closer and placed soft kisses on his shirtless chest.

Lindsey woke up and turned drowsy eyes on her. “What are you doing?”

She shrugged. “I was kissing you. What? I can’t be affectionate with my boyfriend?”

Lindsey rolled his eyes. “Not right now, Buffy. I have an early day tomorrow and need my rest. You should be doing the same. Quit fooling around.” He rolled over on his other side and fell back into a deep sleep.

His words stung. She hated that Spike was right. Lindsey hardly ever wanted to touch her anymore. She wondered if there was something wrong with her.


* * * * *


Buffy ended another day of class on Monday and started to straighten up the room as the parents arrived for their children.

“Well, if it isn’t Miss Buffy. Did I tell you how bloody adorable that is?”

Buffy sighed and turned around at Spike’s voice. Her day was officially complete. “Are you stalking me now?”

He flashed her a smile. “Don’t flatter yourself, love. I’m here to pick up the kid.”

She rolled her eyes. “Nice try. Cordy picked him up early today because he had a doctor’s appointment.”

“Right, I guess you caught me then. Are you going to punish me? Do I have to sit in the corner like a bad boy?”

Buffy couldn’t help herself from smiling at that.

“Knew I could get a grin,” he drawled, returning her smile.

She quickly wiped the smile off of her face and got back to the point. “Why are you here?”

“I thought that was pretty obvious. I wanted to see you. I was hoping we could get a cup of coffee and see if you’re better at not spilling it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Spike held his hands up. “I just want to talk. I promise to be on my best behavior.” He crossed his heart to solidify his honorable intentions.

Buffy didn’t think he was capable of keeping that promise, but she gave in and nodded anyway. “Okay, but I only have an hour.”

Spike smiled again, ecstatic that she agreed to go with him. He took her hand and they walked out of the school.

Buffy stopped suddenly when she noticed what his form of transportation was. “You have got to be kidding me.”

He frowned, offended. “Hey, it’s a damn good vehicle.”

“It’s a motorcycle, Spike. You have seen me, right? Did I somehow give you the impression that I’ve ever been on a motorcycle before? I don’t even like to take the bus. I knew this was a bad idea.”

“It doesn’t bite, love. You just have to trust me. I’ve been riding one of these things since I was a teenager. You’re in good hands. Besides, when was the last time you did anything fun?”

Buffy pouted, hating when he was right.

Spike had an urge to take her bottom lip into his mouth and nibble on it. He was definitely a sucker for her pout.

“I’m not really the fun type.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. I can see it in you, Buffy. I can see the fun girl inside of you that wants to be let out, but she’s trapped because of that git that you decided to date. He’s the one that doesn’t know a damn thing about having any fun and he’s trying to drag you down with him. You never have to hide from me. Admit it; I know you want to get on that bike. Am I right?”

Buffy nodded eagerly. She used to be more daring when she was younger and a part of her really wanted that girl back.

Spike smiled, relieved. “That’s my girl,” he replied, helping her onto the motorcycle.

Buffy didn’t even care to correct him and just put on the helmet.

Spike did the same and mounted the bike after she was situated. He revved the engine and rode off to the Espresso Pump. The first place that they met, where their lives, whether or not they knew it yet, had been changed forever.


* * * * *


“So, why are you with him?”

Buffy looked down into her cup of coffee, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

“I’m just trying to understand more about you.”

She glanced up. “You seem to think that you already have me all figured out. Why don’t you just take a guess?”

He nodded and did just that. “You were the smart girl in school. Never that popular and always cared about getting good grades. You didn’t think you would ever be noticed by anyone, until Lindsey came into the picture and gave you attention. You probably met in college or something like that. You gave everything to him and no matter how hard you tried, it was never enough. There would always be something that was missing. I think you’re with him because you’re afraid to be alone. You probably think that you’re not meant to be with anyone else.” A pause. “Am I close?”

Buffy’s jaw practically dropped. “A little too close. How do you keep doing that? How do you know so much about me?”

Spike smiled and grasped her hand in his. “I just took a guess and figured that you were a lot like me. I basically described myself.”

“Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

He shrugged. “It’s the truth. I was a complete outcast in school. My grades weren’t always so great, but I was never noticed by anyone. I guess you could say I was pretty much a loser, until I met the one woman that changed everything. She took interest in me and I was a goner after that. I changed my attitude, my appearance. I would have done anything that she asked of me, that’s how far gone I was. No matter how much I did for her, it was never enough. I loved her with everything that I had, but she never loved me. I don’t think she could have ever stooped that low, even after I changed everything for her. She wasn’t always all there. She would talk about how I was blinded by the sunshine and that I didn’t belong in the dark with her. Whatever the hell that meant. It was the last straw when I found her with another man. It turned out that she was cheating on me the whole time. I was just a joke to her. It was at that moment that I decided no woman would ever be worth anything. I figured that they were all like her.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “This is the part that I’m not so proud of. I was so hurt after Drusilla’s rejection that I started to use women. I would treat them nice and get them to sleep with me, then I would end it. I never stuck around because I figured they were all the same. I hated my actions, but it was hard to stop. I knew that things had to change and that’s why I left England and came here. I just needed to get away from everything.”

Buffy pulled her hand out of his. She couldn’t believe everything that he told her.

Spike saw the fear on her face and had to make things right. He hoped he wouldn’t regret telling her the truth. “I’m not like that anymore, Buffy. I no longer think that about women. I would never treat you like that if you ever gave me a chance. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were different. I had a feeling that I would be able to relate to you.” He reached over and touched her hair, running his fingers through the long tresses. “I think I finally understand what Dru was going on about. I was meant to be with the sunshine. There’s no doubt in my mind that she was talking about you. She always had a way of seeing things that were yet to happen. I think I was brought here for a reason. And as corny as it may sound, I believe you’re that reason.”

Buffy was quiet for a minute as she took everything in. Then, slowly, she stood up.

Spike sighed, figuring that he blew it. She would walk away, probably never wanting to see him again. Thus he was beyond surprised when she settled next to him, rather than storming out. His breath caught in his throat at the look in her eyes.

Buffy caressed his cheek and moved her lips toward his, giving him a soft kiss.

Spike willingly responded to her kiss, surprised at her boldness.

They knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

Chapter 6

“Does he know what he has?”

Buffy looked up at Spike, not knowing how to answer that.

They decided to go for a walk when they left the Espresso Pump and were now sitting on a park bench, watching the children play in the distance.

“I don’t know,” she replied after a lengthy silence.

“Bloody ponce. He gets to come home to you everyday and he doesn’t even appreciate it,” Spike said, more to himself than her. “Can I hit him, love? Might make both of us feel better.”

Buffy laughed and shook her head. “You may have to get in line. There are a few others in front of you that wouldn’t mind hitting him, but I don’t really believe in violence. It never solves anything.”

Spike just nodded, then shifted and pulled something out of his pocket. “If you ever need anything, this is where I’ll be staying. I decided not to impose on my sister. A man needs his own space and there’s only so much of Angel that I can take.”

She smiled and took the paper from him. “Angel’s a sweetheart. Cordy’s lucky to have a guy like him.”

“Yeah, he’s a good bloke. I just love to give him a hard time, it’s in my nature.”

Buffy had to agree.

“Are we going to talk about it, or just pretend that it never happened?” he suddenly asked.

“Talk about what?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You know what, Buffy. The kiss that we shared not more than half an hour ago. This time you made the first move, so you can’t blame me for it.”

“I’m not going to blame you. I knew what I was doing, but it can’t happen again. It’s for the best.”

He wouldn’t believe that. “I hear you say it, but I don’t think you really mean it. I think you’re just scared to get close to someone else. You already know that you can trust me.”

Buffy wasn’t as sure, but she didn’t say anything about it. She just continued to observe the children.

There was nothing more. Spike figured that the conversation was over, for now anyway.

Buffy then pulled her wallet out of her purse to put the piece of paper that he gave her inside. She didn’t want to lose it.

He watched her intensely, taking notice of a picture that she had in her wallet. She was hugging a brunette man that wasn’t Lindsey. “Who’s that?” he wondered, pointing to the picture.

Buffy’s face broke into a smile as she gazed at the photo. “That’s Riley, he’s my best friend. Well, best guy friend. He’s Lindsey’s brother.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “You’re best friends with Lindsey’s brother? How did that happen?”

She shrugged. “It just did, Riley’s the one that I always talk to. I can go to him with anything and he always listens. He’s one of the best guys I know.”

Spike still had a look of confusion on his face. “If this guy is so great, why are you dating his brother instead of dating him? Not that I want you dating anyone who’s not on this bench -- I’m just trying to make sense of it.”

Buffy grinned, looking for another picture in her wallet to show him. “Riley’s already seeing someone and I’m not exactly his type. We’re just good friends.” She held up the picture once she located it. “This is Lorne, Riley’s boyfriend.”

“Oh, I see. It makes a bit more sense now. They look good together.”

Buffy nodded and closed the wallet, shoving it back inside her purse. “Yeah, they do. They’re both great guys; I don’t know what I would do without them. My two best girlfriends are Willow and Tara. They’re also together and before you say anything, I do know straight people. I just love my friends and wouldn’t trade them in for anything in the world. I just wish I was able to see them more.”

Spike took in what she told him. He was glad that she had such good friends in her life. He then turned his thoughts to the last thing she said. “Why can’t you? They’re your friends; you should be able to see them whenever you want.”

She looked away from him, not saying anything else about it.

Spike could tell by the expression on her face that Lindsey had something to do with her not seeing her friends that much. The more he found out about the Texan, the more he was really starting to hate him. If Buffy was his girl, he would never stop her from seeing her friends. He had a feeling they would be his friends, too. Maybe Buffy would introduce him one of these days.


* * * * *


“Okay, what’s wrong? You have a something-is-bothering-me face.”

Buffy smiled at Riley and sat down on his couch.

He sat down next to her, the look on his face telling her that he wouldn’t let her leave without telling him what was wrong.

She knew that she had to talk to him after her visit with Spike earlier that day. She had a lot on her mind and really needed to get things off of her chest. “I’ve just been a little confused lately.”

“Does this have anything to do with that guy from the Bronze?”

Her head whipped up in surprise. “How do you know about him?”

Riley rolled his eyes, but not in an irritated way. “We all saw you dancing with him, Buffy. It was hard to miss, especially with the way he was moving. That man is sex on legs.”

Buffy laughed, slapping his arm playfully. “You were checking him out?”

Riley shrugged. “It was hard not to and don’t give me that look. Lorne was also checking him out. I think even straight guys were checking him out, but he wouldn’t notice with the way his attention was focused on you. He’s got it bad.”

Buffy beamed at that. “You think so?”

“Yeah, he definitely wanted you. Is that why you’re so confused? You’re starting to have feelings for someone that’s not Lindsey?”

Buffy nodded, becoming more serious. “I’ve felt more with Spike in three days than I ever have the whole time with Lindsey. I just don’t love him anymore…I don’t know if I ever really did. We haven’t had sex in six months. Can you believe that? I tried to get him into it the other night, but he only wanted to sleep. I can’t even turn him on anymore. Do you think Lindsey’s gay and just hasn’t realized it yet?”

Riley laughed loudly. “Trust me, he’s not gay. I would have been able to tell. You know how he is around me, Buffy. He can’t stand the fact that I’m gay. He thinks it’s disgusting.”

Buffy nodded. That was one reason of why Lindsey didn’t like her friends. “What am I going to do?”

“I can’t tell you that. I can only tell you to follow your heart. If you don’t feel anything for Lindsey anymore, then maybe you’re just not meant to be with him. How do you feel when you’re around Spike?”

Buffy’s face lit up at just the mention of the bleached blond. “I feel my heart jump whenever he’s near me. The way he looks at me, it’s more intense than anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s like I’m the only woman in the world.”

Riley grasped her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Well, I think that’s your answer.”

Buffy smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek. She then left his apartment and headed to her next destination. She had to see Spike.

Chapter 7

Buffy decided to head home first and change her clothes before making her way over to Spike’s apartment. She walked into her house and stopped suddenly at the sight in front of her. It was dark and there were candles everywhere. She walked further into the living room and saw Lindsey waiting for her.

“What is all this?”

He moved closer to her and took her hand in his. “This is because I’ve been a jerk. I’ve been so stressed out at work and I took it out on you. I know things haven’t been so great with us lately, but I would like to make it up to you. I love you, Buffy.” He then pressed his lips to hers in a quick kiss and wrapped his arms around her.

Buffy was still surprised, but returned his hug anyway. She couldn’t remember ever seeing this side of her boyfriend before.

Lindsey pulled away to look at her. “Let’s go upstairs. I want to make love to you. It’s been too long, baby.” He led her to the stairs, without bothering to wait for a reply.

Buffy finally came back to reality and stopped, pulling her hand out of his grasp. “And whose fault is that? You can’t just be romantic for one night and decide that everything is going to be okay. I offered myself to you and you just ignored me. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. Maybe I’m not really in a lovemaking mood.”

Lindsey was taken aback at her outburst; she never raised her voice to him. “Buffy, I’m really trying here. You could do the same.”

His words only made her angrier. “I have been trying, Lindsey. Don’t you see that? I do everything for you, but it never seems to be enough. I just don’t think this is going to work out anymore.”

Lindsey shook his head. “You don’t mean that. I’m all you have right now, Buffy. No one will ever love you the way I do. Look, is this because you don’t think I’m ready to commit to you? I thought a lot about this and I think I’m finally ready to settle down. We’ve been living together for years, but I know you want more. The marriage, the kids, maybe the house with the white, picket fence. I may not be ready for kids yet, but I can start with this.” He then pulled out a black box and opened it, revealing a diamond ring inside.

Buffy gasped. She clearly hadn’t been expecting that. She’d expected the next part even less.

Lindsey got down on one knee and held the ring out to her. “Will you marry me?"

Buffy shook her head as tears started to fall down her face. “You can’t do this to me now. We’ve been having problems for so long. You can’t just propose to me out of nowhere and expect an easy answer.”

Lindsey nodded and stood up. “I don’t expect an answer right now. Will you at least think about it? I really want this, Buffy.”

She looked into his eyes and really didn’t know if she could believe that. “I’ll have to think about it,” she said with more conviction than she felt.

He smiled and kissed her cheek. “We’ll talk about this more later.”

Buffy nodded as she watched him walk up the stairs. She seemed to have everything figured out after her talk with Riley, but now she was more confused than ever. Lindsey chose the perfect time to realize that he wanted her.


* * * * *


Buffy took a deep breath and knocked on Spike’s door.

He opened it a few seconds later and let her into the apartment. She looked around and noticed a few boxes that were still filled with stuff, but he didn’t have much to begin with.

“I’m glad you came. Can I get you something to drink?”

Buffy shook her head and remained silent.

He nodded and could tell that she wanted to talk to him about something, but he would wait until she was ready.

She paced for about a minute and finally decided to speak. “I wanted to talk to you about Lindsey.”

Spike held his hand up. “I really don’t want to hear about the great ponce right now.”

She chose to ignore him. “He’s such an idiot.”

“Continue,” he said, realizing that she wasn’t likely to say anything nice about the other man.

Buffy gave him a small smile. “You know, I had a whole speech planned for when I came over here. I was going to tell you that you were right about everything. You know me more than Lindsey ever has.” A pause. “I was going to break up with him.”

Spike didn’t like where this was headed. “Was?”

Buffy nodded and tried to say the rest. “I went home and it was like everything changed. He was actually romantic for the first time that I can remember. He knew that he was wrong and he wanted to make things better.” She took a deep breath before she told him the next part. “Lindsey asked me to marry him.”

Spike felt his heart ache at her words. God, he hoped she wasn’t actually thinking of marrying the bloke. He didn’t know what he would do then. “Oh, what was your answer to that?”

“I told him that I would think about it. He went through all that trouble, I couldn’t just tell him no. And I’m not ready to say yes, either.”

“Then what are you going to do?

Buffy looked away. “I don’t know,” she mumbled.

“The hell you don’t. Look at me, Buffy.”

She turned back to him, almost reluctantly.

“You can’t seriously be thinking about marrying him. So he realizes that you exist for one time in your relationship. What’s to say that things will always be like that? You said so yourself, he doesn’t know you like I do. I’ve known you for less than a week and I already have you figured out. Do you know why that is? It’s because we’re meant to be together. I felt it the first moment our eyes met and I feel it even more now.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart. “Do you feel how fast my heart beats whenever you’re around me? You can’t tell me that he reacts the same way.”

Buffy had tears in her eyes and pulled her hand away, putting some distance between them. It was all happening so fast and she needed to do some serious thinking before she made any decisions. “I have to go.”

Spike was getting irritated at her always walking away, but he wouldn’t let her leave without saying one more thing. “You don’t love him, Buffy.”

She stopped to look at him one more time.

“I know you have feelings for me, you wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t. It may not be love yet, but it’s pretty damn close to it. And when you figure that out, you know where I’ll be.”

Buffy nodded, and then she was gone.

Chapter 8

It has been exactly one week since Spike last saw Buffy. He figured, miserably, that she just forgot about him and decided to work on her relationship with Lindsey. He just prayed that she wouldn’t actually marry the bloke.


* * * * *


In truth, Buffy’s reason for being away from Spike was not because of Lindsey. Rather, she had decided to spend more time at her mother’s gallery. She had some art stored away in her attic that she determined to donate. Once, she had painted all the time, but gave it up when she became involved with Lindsey. He had told her that it was a waste of time; luckily she kept all of her favorite creations.


* * * * *


Spike found himself sitting on the bench where he had sat with Buffy only about a week ago. It felt like lifetimes had passed. In the past, when he wanted to get his mind off of Drusilla, he would go out and find a woman completely opposite of her to use as a distraction. Things were different now. He didn’t want to get his mind off of Buffy. He just wanted to be with her.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

Spike shook his head, ripped from his thoughts, and moved over, letting the man sit down. He looked slightly familiar, but he couldn’t place where he saw the dark haired man before. It took a few seconds, but finally, it hit him, and his eyes grew big with realization. “Do you know Buffy?”

The man grinned. “I guess she told you about me. My name’s Riley.” He held his hand out.

Spike shook it after a second. This was the friend Buffy mentioned.

“No need to tell me who you are,” Riley continued. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Spike was flattered that Buffy talked about him, though was also weary at what she might have said. “How is she doing?” he asked instead.

“She’s doing better. I know she wants to see you again; she’s just been pretty busy.” Riley paused, and decided to cut the small talk. “Look, I like you. You seem like a decent enough guy and that’s what Buffy needs right now.” He then pulled out a card from his pocket and handed it to Spike.

He grabbed the card and looked it over.

“That’s her mom’s gallery; Buffy has been helping out with it recently. She should be there tomorrow afternoon. Just something to think about.” Riley stood up, knowing that he had done the right thing.

“Why are you helping me? Isn’t Lindsey your brother?”

Riley nodded, but didn’t seem too happy about it. “Basically, my brother’s an ass. Buffy deserves better.”

Spike then watched Riley walk away, leaving him with his thoughts. He knew that he would definitely be paying her a visit.


* * * * *


Joyce Summers beamed at her daughter. “Honey, these paintings are so beautiful.”

“It was the least I could do. I know I haven’t been around much, but that’s all going to change. I can come everyday after class to help out.”

“You don’t have to do that, Buffy. You’ve more than helped out already. I’m sure Lindsey would miss having you at home.”

“That man needs a good kick in the pants, if you ask me,” a disapproving voice volunteered.

Joyce rolled her eyes at her husband’s immaturity. “Honestly, Hank. He’s Buffy’s boyfriend. You shouldn’t say such things.”

“I’m just saying that he’s not right for our daughter. He’s still living in the fifties.”

Buffy cleared her throat. “I’m standing right here, Dad.”

Hank paused, then glanced downward ashamedly. “I’m sorry, baby. You know we just want what’s best for you and if you think he is, well, I’ll try to live with it. I would just love to have grandchildren before I die, unless that’s too much to ask for.”

Buffy cracked a smile. “I don’t think Lindsey’s quite there yet, but I promise it’ll happen.” A small frown crossed her face. She did want children, but she couldn’t picture herself having them with Lindsey. She just decided to bring up the subject about her helping out more. “It’s really no problem to come here more often. Lindsey’s hardly at home much, anyway. I really want to do this. I miss you guys.”

Joyce smiled and hugged her. “We miss you, too.”

Hank joined in on the hug and kissed the top of Buffy’s head.

Joyce then looked to the entrance of the gallery and pulled away. “Well, it looks like we might have a new customer.”

Buffy turned to the entrance as well, surprise written on her face at who said customer was. “I’ll be right back,” she told her parents and then marched over to him. “What are you doing here?”

“Glad to see me, love? I happen to be a big fan of art.”

Buffy obviously didn’t believe him. “How did you know I would be here?”

“I talked to a friend. At least I feel a bit more relieved about what you’ve been doing all week.”

“I told you, I have a lot of decisions to make. It’ll take longer than a week.”

Spike nodded. “I just wanted to see you, that’s all. You look good.”

Buffy blushed, which was becoming a permanent state around him.

“So, do you ever bring the git here?”

She didn’t need to ask who he was referring to. “He’s not really into this stuff. I should go help my mom.”

“We really need to talk, Buffy. I’ll be outside.”

Buffy nodded and went back to join her parents.


* * * * *


Spike waited a few minutes before she joined him. He noticed that she was nervous. That was good; he shouldn’t have to be the only one.

“Are you going to marry him?” He got right to the point, even though he dreaded asking that question.

“I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

Spike figured that was the best he would get out of her. He just watched her standing there, the wind blowing her hair all around her face. He suddenly couldn’t take anymore. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer, planting a firm kiss on her lips. He was a man starved and she was his addiction.

Buffy eagerly returned his kiss, her defenses melting.

He pulled his lips away to trail down her smooth neck.

She moaned and shut her eyes. “Spike, we shouldn’t be doing this here,” she managed to whisper.

He wasn’t about to stop now. “I don’t care. I’m bloody going crazy without you. No one has ever had such an affect on me before. How do you do it?”

Buffy didn’t know how to answer that. She was trying to stay focused, but Spike had started nibbling on her earlobe, and that was a very sensitive spot for her. She finally pushed him away, trying to catch her breath. “We have to stop. I can’t have my parents seeing us. I should really get back inside.”

Spike nodded and let her go, disappointment on his face. “Okay, will you at least come by my place this weekend? We can just talk if that’s all you want. I don’t think I can go another week without seeing you.”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to see if I have any other plans.”

He looked disappointed, though nodded again. “That’s good enough for me.”

She nodded as well, then left back inside the gallery.

Spike decided he would never like watching her walk away from him.


* * * * *


Spike went for a stroll a couple of days later and found himself outside Buffy’s house. He managed to get the address from Riley after he met up with the man again the other day. He knew she probably wouldn’t be home, but he had to see for himself. He would be satisfied by just getting a glimpse of her. It was official; he has become a bloody stalker. Ain’t love grand?

He moved out of sight when the front door opened and Lindsey came out. Spike raised his eyebrows when he saw the man having a snog with a blonde girl, a blonde girl that was definitely not Buffy.

Chapter 9

Spike didn’t know what he would tell Buffy when he saw her. He ended up watching Lindsey and the blonde snog for a few more minutes before the chit finally left. He was infuriated knowing what they were doing in the house, and probably in the bed that Lindsey shared with Buffy. He knew that he had to come clean about what he’d seen, but he was afraid that she wouldn’t believe him—and for good reason. Marking Lindsey for infidelity would enable her to run into Spike’s open, waiting arms with a clear conscience. It was a golden opportunity, even at a terrible price. He put his thoughts on pause when she knocked on his door. Somehow, he instantly knew it was her. Maybe there was something in her knock—he didn’t know.

There was something about Buffy altogether.

Buffy could tell something was wrong the second she stepped into the apartment. “You okay? You usually look happier to see me.”

Spike nodded and ushered her over to the couch, where they both sat down. He grabbed her hand, softly caressing her skin. “I am happy to see you. I just wish it was under better circumstances.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it, but you have to know that I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Buffy pulled her hand out of his grasp. “Spike, you’re really starting to worry me. What’s going on?”

He inhaled sharply before he continued. “I went by your house yesterday. I was just walking and ended up there, it wasn’t planned.” A pause. “Buffy, I saw Lindsey. He was with another woman and they looked pretty cozy.” Spike was apprehensive about her reaction, but she didn’t look all that surprised.

“Was she blonde?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, wearing a pink dress that left little to the imagination.”

Buffy let out a deep, dejected sigh. “That’s Harmony Kendall. She’s Lindsey’s secretary. I went to his office to surprise him a few months ago and I found her all over him. He told me that she made a pass at him and that he wasn’t interested in her.” She paused, her eyes shining with irritation and the sting of betrayal. “I actually believed him. God, I feel so stupid.”

Spike shook his head. “He’s the stupid one to cheat on a woman like you. I’ve seen classier birds at strip clubs.” He caught himself at that and glanced down sheepishly. “Not that I’ve ever been to one.”

Buffy gave a tiny smile. “Yeah, I’m sure you haven’t. I just can’t believe that I thought things would get better. He’ll never change and it’s about time I accepted that.” She stood up. “I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago.”

Spike stood as well and followed her to the door. “What’s that, love?”

She turned back to him. “I’m going to break up with Lindsey. I can’t live like this anymore. I hate the person I become when I’m around him. He can have that skank for all I care. I’m sick of him walking all over me.”

Spike graced her with a proud smile. “Can I watch? I promise to stay out of the way while you put the ponce in his place.”

Buffy laughed and shook her head at his enthusiasm. “I’ll be back later.” She left the apartment, but not before placing a kiss on his cheek.

Spike smiled and decided to fix up the place a bit for when she returned. Things were finally starting to look better for him.


* * * * *


When Buffy entered her house, she heard yelling going on. She headed for the living room to see Lindsey and Riley in the middle of an argument.

“I don’t care if you have a key. You can’t just come in here whenever you feel like it. I don’t like you hanging around Buffy. She doesn’t need your influence.”

Riley was steamed, which surprised Buffy as he didn’t usually get pissed off that easily. Then again, his brother always seemed to bring out the worst in him. “My influence? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’re the one that treats her like crap!”

“Has she been complaining to you about me? She’s just a girl. She doesn’t know anything.”

Buffy fumed at that, and decided that she’d had enough. “What exactly don’t I know, Lindsey?”

The brothers stopped quarrelling when they realized that they had an audience.

“I didn’t mean anything by that, Buffy. Riley’s just causing trouble. You know I don’t like him here.”

Buffy seared him with a look that could kill. “I think we need to talk.” She didn’t even wait for Riley to scamper out of the firing range. “You’re an arrogant jerk, Lindsey. You live in your own world and don’t even realize that you’re hurting the people around you. Especially me. Do you have any idea how it feels when you belittle me and tell me that my clothes aren’t appropriate? When you ignore me when you come home, unless you’re in the mood to talk? It’s my life and I’ll do whatever the hell I want. I’m done listening to you. I was done a long time ago; I have no idea why I haven’t said anything before, but the buck stops here.”

The shocked look on Lindsey’s face was priceless, though short-lived. In seconds, he was red with fury. “How can you be such an ungrateful bitch after everything I’ve done for you?”

Buffy emitted a humorless laugh. “What’s that, exactly? Making me feel horrible about myself? Never letting me see any of my friends because you don’t approve of their lifestyles? Right, I should feel very grateful. We’re over, Lindsey. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

He wasn’t about to let her go. Just like that, his anger melted into charm. “Come on, sweetheart. You’re blowing this way out of proportion. I think we just need to talk about this rationally. I know we can work things out.”

Buffy cringed. Had he always sounded so fake? She stared at him, hard. “Oh yeah? How’s Harmony? You didn’t think I would find out about that, did you? If you ask me, you two deserve each other.”

“She doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m trying to get rid of her, but she’s not taking the hint.”

She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want, just like I can. I’ll be staying somewhere else until I get a place of my own. You can have the house and everything that goes with it. Let’s face it; nothing here ever belonged to me. This isn’t my world. I’m finally going where I really belong.” She then turned her attention on a smiling Riley. “Let’s get out of here.”

Riley nodded and followed her out of the house, loving the fact that his brother wasn’t so in control anymore.

Chapter 10

“I’ll be staying with Riley, just until I can get a place of my own.”

“You could always stay with me.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows. “I don’t think we’re quite there yet.”

Spike grinned sheepishly. “You can’t blame a bloke for trying. So, does this mean you’re my girl now?”

She looked shy for a moment. “If you still want me.”

Spike wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, planting a soft kiss on her mouth. “More than anything,” he whispered.

“That works out nicely then,” she said, burying her face in his chest.

Spike held her tighter. He couldn’t believe that she was finally his.


* * * * *


“I really appreciate you letting me stay here.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m just glad that you decided to leave my brother. How did Spike take the news?”

Buffy smiled. “I think he took it well.”

“He seems like a good guy.”

She nodded. “I invited him over later…if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, it’s fine with me. You guys should come to the Bronze tonight. He can meet the gang.” Riley walked out of the kitchen and found her sitting on the couch. He smiled. “I’m proud of you, Buffy. It’s good that you managed to stick up for yourself.”

“I think I even surprised myself. That was the first time that I ever did it. It felt really good.”

Riley was about to reply, but a pounding on the door stopped him. When he opened it, there was a very pissed off Lindsey on the other side. Without waiting for a greeting, he just barged into the apartment, shoving his brother out of the way.

“Why don’t you just come in?” Riley drawled sarcastically, closing the door.

Buffy leapt to her feet when she saw Lindsey. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to take you home. Let’s be serious here. You would never leave me. It’s this loser that’s putting the ideas in your head,” Lindsey spat, pointing at Riley.

“He doesn’t have anything to do with this. This is what I want. I’m finally making my own decisions and I’m not going to let you control me anymore.”

Riley nodded. “That’s right, Lindsey. You should just leave now. If I’m not allowed in your house, then you’re not allowed in mine.”

Lindsey scowled at his brother. “Shut the hell up, fag! I know you’re responsible for this.”

For a second, she thought Riley was going to break something.

“All right, that does it.”

Buffy placed her hand on Riley’s arm to prevent him from doing anything stupid. She shot Lindsey an icy glare. “Don’t you dare call him that! This is where I live now. I want you to get out.”

Lindsey wouldn’t budge. “I’m not leaving without you, Buffy. Don’t you realize how childish this is?”

She scoffed. “Oh, I’m being childish? No, I think I’m finally starting to act like an adult. The only childish decision I’ve ever made was thinking that I loved you and that you would change. You’re a selfish bastard that I should have left a long time ago.”

She didn’t see his hand coming, until she felt the sting on her cheek.

“That’s what you get for talking back to me,” Lindsey spat.

The world went on mute. She knew that Riley was yelling at Lindsey, but she couldn’t follow what was being said. She just touched her cheek in shock that Lindsey had actually hit her. She was so much in her own world that she didn’t even realize when someone wrapped her into their arms. Familiar arms. Spike. She’d been too distracted to even notice that he’d entered the apartment. Sound slowly returned, and she saw that Riley and Lindsey were still in a heated argument. They were shooting insults back and forth.

Lindsey finally looked away from Riley and recognized the blond man holding Buffy. His eyes widened in realization. “Oh, I get it. This is why you’re leaving me? How long have you been screwing him behind my back?” He waved dismissively. “Forget this; you were just a waste of my time.” He headed to the door and turned back to look at her one more time. “You were a lousy lay, anyway. At least Harmony knew how to keep a man’s attention. See you around, Buff. Don’t come crying to me when he gets sick of you, too.” Lindsey didn’t wait for a response, storming out of the apartment and slamming the door behind him.

Spike saw the tears in Buffy’s eyes and wanted to rip the prick’s head off for hurting her, but the Heaven’s would move before he left her side. He pulled her over to the couch and sat down, coaxing her head to find his shoulder.

Riley went to the kitchen and came back out with an icepack. He handed it to her.

When Buffy didn’t move, Spike took it with a grateful smile. He placed it over the small bruise that was now forming on her face. “Please tell me that he hasn’t been hitting you during your whole relationship,” he said softly.

Buffy shook her head and took the icepack from him. “No, this was a first,” she replied. She was still in shock. Lindsey would constantly get angry, but he never hit her before. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him that mad before.

Riley looked nearly as enraged as Spike. “I could kill him for that. He has no right to hit you. I’m sorry, Buffy.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You were only trying to help me. He’s just a jerk.”

The jerk’s brother couldn’t agree more.

“Whoa, what’s with all the sad faces?”

They all glanced up to see Lorne standing there.

“You should really lock the door, sweetcheeks. The devil himself could come in.”

Buffy had to crack a smile at that. “He just left.”

Spike and Riley laughed appreciately.

Lorne had a look of confusion on his face. “Did I miss something?” he wondered.

“I’ll tell you later. Come on; let’s give these two crazy kids some privacy,” Riley said, grabbing Lorne’s arm and pulling him into the kitchen. He explained everything that happened with Lindsey once they entered the kitchen, trying to keep his voice low.

Lorne was just as shocked. “He actually hit her? Well, if I was a fighter I would give him a piece of my mind.”

Riley smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. At least she’s away from him now. I think Spike would be good for her.” He peaked out into the living room to see Buffy and Spike in the same position, with her head resting on his shoulder. He smiled again as he watched them. Riley really believed that Spike would take care of her.

Chapter 11

A few days later, Spike couldn’t take it anymore, and found himself banging on Riley’s door. Buffy has been avoiding him since what happened with Lindsey and he was certain that he’d go crazy if he didn’t see her soon.

Riley opened the door, not looking surprised to see Spike standing there.

“Is she here?” he asked, not bothering for an invite before barging into the apartment.

Riley sighed and closed the door. “She’s in her room. I don’t think this is a good time, Spike. She still doesn’t want to see you. I tried to talk her out of it, but that one is very stubborn.”

“Don’t I know it. I’ll get her to talk to me,” Spike retorted determinately, storming to Buffy’s room. He saw that her door was closed, and rather than blow inside, he knocked politely, not wanting to startle her. When there was no response, he turned the knob and found the door was unlocked.

Buffy was lying on her bed. He saw that she wasn’t sleeping when he moved closer; she wouldn’t look up at him. He inhaled sharply and made his way over to the other side of the bed. He removed his duster and his boots, then laid down beside her. When she still wouldn’t acknowledge him, Spike decided to take a risk by wrapping his arms around her small body. “I know you’re scared, Buffy. I know you’re scared to get close to me. I know you pretty well, remember? You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I would never hurt you. You have to believe that, sweetheart. Just the thought of anything happening to you makes my heart ache. I’m not going anywhere, love. I’ll be here for as long as you need, forever if you’ll let me.”

Buffy finally turned over to face him.

Spike felt his heart clench at the tears that were glistening in her eyes. He didn’t know what else to do and just waited for her to make the first move.

After a few seconds, she couldn’t hold in her sobs anymore and wrapped her arms around him, crying against his chest.

Spike rubbed her back in comfort, whispering soothing words in her ear. “It’s going to be okay, baby. Just let it all out. I’ve got you now and I’ll never let you go.”


* * * * *


Riley came out of the kitchen and handed Buffy a cup of hot chocolate, which she took with a small smile.

They’d finally emerged from the bedroom after Buffy calmed down and were now sitting on the couch.

“Can I get you anything?” Riley asked Spike.

“No, I’m good.”

Riley nodded and walked back into the kitchen, leaving them to their privacy.

Buffy took one sip of the hot liquid and then placed it down on the coffee table.

Spike was really worried since she has yet to say anything to him. He just took her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Are you going to be okay?”

She took a deep breath and looked at him, finally voicing what has been bothering her. “I just feel so stupid. I wasted three years of my life with a man that never really loved me. I was just so afraid of being alone that I stayed with someone that treated me horribly. What kind of person does that make me? He’s the only one I’ve ever really been with. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Her face collapsed into her waiting hands. She was exhausted.

“You’re already doing it, Buffy. You got away from him. You’re putting your life back on track. And now, you’ll have the life that you’ve always deserved. We can do it together.”

Buffy shook her head and gazed up at him. “I don’t know. Why would you want to be with someone that’s so damaged?”

Spike tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Because I don’t see someone that’s damaged. I see a strong, beautiful woman. One that I’m growing to care a lot about. I know you’re still worried about letting someone else in, but I promise you. If you decide to trust me with your heart, I would never let anything happen to it. You have my word on that.”

She looked into his eyes and saw sincerity shining through. Somehow, she knew that he wasn’t one to break his promises. No more words were needed; she pressed her lips to his. Staying away from him these last few days has been the hardest thing that she has ever done. She was finally going to trust Spike with her heart, hoping that he would never break it.


* * * * *


A few weeks passed without seeing Lindsey, and she couldn’t be happier about that. She was worried that he would still try and get her back, but it seemed to be that he had forgotten about her. Strangely, Buffy found that she was both relieved and a bit hurt by that, but she quickly shook all negative thoughts away. She was with Spike now, and so far, he had proven that he will always be there for her.

Tonight, they were out at the Bronze, blowing off some steam.

Buffy had finally introduced Spike to her friends a week ago and they had instantly taken a liking to him. Xander even pulled her aside to say that he thought Spike was a good choice for her. She was stunned by that. It was hard for anyone to get Xander’s approval. He was always the overprotective, big brother type—had been ever since they’d been little. He would threaten any guy that ever came near Buffy or Willow. It meant a lot knowing that her friends liked her new boyfriend, especially knowing how much they hadn’t cared for Lindsey.

Buffy left her friends to make her way over to the bar. She wasn’t much of a drinker, but she figured one couldn’t hurt.

“Well, look who decided to get a life.”

Buffy stopped cold at the familiar voice behind her. “God, no,” she mumbled under her breath, turning around to face the last person she ever expected to see again. She plastered on a fake smile. “Faith, how have you been?”

“Five by five, B. You’re looking good. I hear you and Lindsey went your separate ways. That’s such a shame.”

Buffy could tell that the other girl was lying through her teeth, if the big smile on her face was anything to go by. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re real broken up about it. I’m here with my friends, Faith. I really don’t need a lecture from you…or an I told you so, for that matter. We’re not friends anymore.”

“And whose fault is that? Look, I’m not here to tell you that I was right. I just wanted to see how you were doing. You’re the one that ended our friendship because of Lindsey. You never listened to me about what a jerk he was and then when it was time for you to make a choice, you chose him. I’m over it now. I just wanted to congratulate you for finally coming to your senses about the prick. You know, even if we’re not friends anymore.”

No sooner had she completed her little speech did Faith spin on her heel and storm off.

Buffy felt bad as she watched Faith go. They’d been really close in college. Then Lindsey had come along and Buffy stopped hanging around Faith so much. No matter how many times Faith tried to talk her out of being with him, she would never listen. They eventually just lost touch with each other. Buffy realized that everything Faith said about Lindsey was right and she felt guilty for choosing him over one of her best friends. Somehow, she would find a way to make it up to her old friend.

Chapter 12

After her chat with Faith, Buffy headed back over to her friends.

“Where’s Spike?” she asked, noticing that he was nowhere to be found.

“He went to the bar to see what was taking you so long. I guess you just missed each other. Was that Faith I saw?”

Buffy nodded at Willow, not caring to say anything else about it. She just turned her attention to the bar and smiled when she finally spotted Spike. Her smile abruptly faded when she saw that he wasn’t alone. She would recognize the blonde talking to her boyfriend any day. “Oh, I don’t think so,” she said angrily to no one in particular, making her way over to the bar. She glared at the blonde woman once she reached them. “Can I help you with something, Harmony?”

Spike looked beyond relieved to see her there. He’d recognized the blonde as the one that Lindsey had been seeing behind Buffy’s back; he was just too polite to tell her to shove off, and felt nothing but gratitude that Buffy showed up.

“It’s Betty, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s Buffy. Is there a reason of why you’re harassing my boyfriend? What? Is Lindsey not getting the job done?”

Harmony matched her glare with one of her own. “Lindsey is doing just fine, but a girl has needs. He told me about leaving you. I can understand why he would decide to look elsewhere.” She turned her attention back on Spike, ignoring the scowl that Buffy was throwing her way. “See you around, Blondie Bear.” She touched his arm and was about to leave, but was stopped by one very aggravated blonde.

“You won’t be seeing him again. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna lose another boyfriend to a tramp like you, especially one worth keeping. Lindsey is all yours, but just so you know, Spike would never touch you. Unlike Lindsey, he has taste. Plus there’s no telling how many diseases you might have.”

Harmony wasn’t about to take that. “At least I know how to please a man. How long do you think it will be before this one gets tired of you, too? You’re obviously doing something wrong, Betty.”

Buffy moved forward, looking extremely pissed off.

Spike stepped up before things got too ugly. “I’m tired of being polite, you irritating bint. Buffy is more woman than you could ever be and I’m very lucky to have her. What does it say for Lindsey’s performance if you’re looking for someone else on the side? I think you should just leave.”

Harmony pouted like a child. “That’s not very nice, Spikey.”

He rolled his eyes. Lindsey was a bigger fool than he thought if this was the sort of chit he chose above Buffy.

Buffy grabbed his hand. “Forget it, we’ll just leave. You can find someone else that is desperate enough to go home with you.” She turned away, pulling Spike along with her.

“You know, Lindsey was right about you. You really are an uptight bitch. No wonder he decided to look for something better.”

Buffy pulled away from Spike and marched back over to the infuriating woman. She had about enough.

Spike watched her go and knew that things weren’t going to be pretty.

Buffy couldn’t think about anything except for wiping that annoying smile off of Harmony’s face. She pulled back her first and slugged the other girl right in the face.

Harmony yelled and fell back against the bar, her hands flying to her nose. “You crazy bitch!” she spat, bolting out of the Bronze.

Spike was shocked when he made his way over to Buffy, who was breathing hard, her face red with anger.

He chose his words wisely. “I thought you didn’t believe in violence.”

“I made an exception for her.”

Spike nodded. “Remind me not to piss you off.”

She looked back at the spot where Harmony was once standing.

A few patrons that were at the bar took off after her punch, obviously not eager to get in the blonde’s way.

Buffy could care less. She just took hold of Spike’s hand, then returned to her friends.


* * * * *


“My poor baby.”

Buffy pouted. “Hey, that really hurts. I think I’ll stick to being non-violent.”

Spike smiled, handing her the icepack for her hand. “Well, I think it was bloody sexy. You probably ruined her nose job, too.”

She rolled her eyes. “I did her a favor. She should get her money back for that. I can’t believe the bitch had the nerve to hit on my boyfriend after she took the last one. She had that coming. She reminds me of every girl that I hated in high school.”

“She reminds me of every girl that I slept with after Dru.” He cringed at just the thought of it.

“Sweetie, know your audience. That’s not something I needed to hear.”

Spike nodded apologetically. “Right, sorry about that. I’m just really glad to be out of that phase.”

Buffy couldn’t agree more. She suddenly felt a little shy at what she wanted to say next. “Riley isn’t expecting me to come home tonight. I called him while you were in the bathroom. I was wondering if I could stay here.”

Spike wasn’t expecting that, but he couldn’t deny her anything. “Of course, you can take my bed. I’ll be fine on the couch.”

Buffy took a deep breath before she said the rest. “Actually, I was thinking we could both share the bed.” She saw his eyebrows raise, figuring that she would have to be more specific. “I think I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level. I know it’s still really soon, but I want this. I’ve thought a lot about it the last few days.”

“Are you sure about this, love? We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready.”

She has never been more positive about anything in her life. “I’m ready; I want to be with you in every way possible.”

Spike nodded sheepishly. He took her hand in his, pulling her off of the couch and into his room.

Chapter 13

Buffy’s nervousness really hit her after she entered his bedroom.

Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, placing a kiss on her cheek.

She felt herself relax at his presence.

He led her to the bed, where she sat awkwardly, unsure what to do first.

Spike sat beside her, taking her hand in his. “You let me know if you change your mind.”

Buffy nodded. She wasn’t a virgin, but it felt like her first time.

Spike gently pushed her down on the bed. He didn’t waste any time; he stripped her until she was only in her bra and panties. He then planted kisses on the smooth skin of her stomach.

Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat as his lips brushed every inch of her that he could, finally reaching her mouth. She held him to her as she willingly returned the kiss, never wanting him to stop.

Spike pulled away when breathing became an issue.

Buffy watched lustfully as he took his clothes off and tossed them on the floor to join hers. She has never seen such a fine specimen of male before.

Spike moved back on top of her, kissing her senseless once again. He removed her undergarments, so there was nothing between them. He was about to grab a condom from his drawer, but Buffy stopped him.

“It’s okay, I’m on the pill.”

He nodded, smiling down at her.

Buffy took another deep breath when he positioned himself above her, and Spike didn’t hesitate before leisurely sliding into her warm heat. She gasped at the wonderful invasion and held him tighter to her chest.

Spike looked into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, just go slow. It’s been a while.”

He nodded as well, slowly starting to move inside of her as Buffy ran her hands down his back. He felt her squeeze him and tried to make it last as long as he could.

“You can go faster now,” she whispered.

Spike was happy to oblige and made his thrusts faster, still being careful not to hurt her.

“God, Spike,” she moaned out.

Spike was about to lose what little control he had left. He pounded into her harder, knowing that she was close.

Buffy screamed out her release a moment later.

Spike right along beside her. He rested his head against hers as they panted in recovery. A few minutes later, he rolled off of her to keep from crushing her.

Buffy turned to look at him. “That was amazing.”

He smiled, pulling her closer to his side. “Yeah, that it was.”

“You’ll be here when I wake up, right?”

Spike felt like a complete git when he saw the insecurity written on her face. He really regretted telling her about not being around in the morning with those other women, but he didn’t want there to be any secrets between them. He gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll be here when you wake up and every day after that.”

Buffy sighed in relief, snuggling closer to him and resting her head on his chest. She was soon fast asleep, with a contented smile on her face.

Spike watched her for a while longer; everything finally made clear to him. “I love you,” he whispered, drifting off to sleep as well.


* * * * *


“Sweetie, what is this about?”

Buffy took a deep breath before answering her mother’s question. She’d asked both of her parents to meet her at the Espresso Pump a couple of days later. “I decided to end things with Lindsey. I just don’t think he’s the right person for me.”

A huge smile formed on Hank’s face.

Joyce elbowed him in the side.

He quickly fell expressionless. “I’m so sorry to hear about that, baby.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re both very upset about it. There’s something else I wanted to tell you.”

Joyce’s eyes widened. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Buffy shook her head. “I’m not pregnant, but I did meet someone else. We’ve been seeing each other recently and I know you’re going to tell me that I’m moving too fast. I realize that I just broke up with Lindsey, but I’m finally happy. Spike makes me feel wonderful and I don’t think I can find that with anyone else.”

“His name is Spike? He’s not in a gang, is he? Do I need to get the gun?”

Buffy rubbed her eyes. “Daddy, you need to stop doing that. There will be no guns or belts, okay? Spike is just a nickname, his real name is William. He’s a really great guy. I’m telling you this now because I was hoping to bring him with me to dinner next week. I know you guys will like him.”

Joyce nodded. “Of course he can come with you. We would love to meet him. Wouldn’t we, Hank?”

Hank paused when he noticed that his wife had her resolve face on. He just couldn’t say no to that. “What your mother said,” he mumbled.

Buffy smiled and got up to hug both of her parents. “Thank you so much, I know you won’t regret it. I’ll be sure to tell Spike to be on his best behavior. You won’t be disappointed.”

They watched as their only daughter walked away, leaving them with their thoughts.

Hank turned to Joyce. “You don’t suppose he wears a dog collar with a name like that, do you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Hank. He’s Buffy’s boyfriend now. I’m sure he’s a fine young man.”

Hank wasn’t so convinced, but he let it go. “Well, anyone has to be better than the lawyer.”

Joyce couldn’t agree more.


* * * * *


“Spike, are you here?” Buffy called out as she walked into his apartment, finding the door to be unlocked.

“Hey, how did it go with your parents?” he asked, coming out of the bedroom.

“It went good, except for my dad threatening to pull a gun out on you.”

Spike grew paler at that. “What?”

Buffy laughed at the look on his face. “He was kidding, it’s this thing he does. My parents are just overprotective. I know they’re going to love you.”

He sighed in relief. “I hope you’re right about that.”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, I’ll make sure the guns are all put away when we get there.”

“Thanks ever so.”

She kissed him to ease some of his fears. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be right there with you.”

Spike smiled. “That’s good to know.” He planted a kiss on the top of her head and held her close to him. He was pretty nervous about meeting her parents, but knew that it would all be worth it in the end.

Chapter 14

“Spike, would you calm down already? Really, my dad doesn’t own any guns. You’ll be fine.”

He took a deep breath. “This is the first time I’ve done the whole meet the parents thing. I saw that movie, so excuse me for being a bit nervous.”

Buffy laughed and shook her head, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “You worry way too much.” She smiled at her parents once they opened the door, hurrying to give them both a hug. She turned quickly and introduced them to her boyfriend.

Spike shuffled uncomfortably under the older man’s stare.

Hank finally spoke once they were inside, his eyes still fixed on the bleached blond. “Spike, is it? That’s an odd nickname, but I’m willing to look past it. Buffy promises that you’re not in a gang.”

Spike glanced at her, wondering why she didn’t mention that little detail before. “No. Not in a gang.”

“I hear you’re from England. Do you happen to be a fan of Manchester United?”

Spike gulped, unsure which answer would be the right one. He decided to go with the truth. “Yes, sir. They’re a favorite of mine.”

Hank had a hard expression on his face, but it soon melted into a smile. “Welcome to the family, son,” he said, patting Spike on the back. “I finally have someone that cares about the sport as much as I do. You don’t know how hard it is just being around women all of the time.” His voice carried away as they walked into the living room.

Joyce shook her head. “He’s sure to talk that poor boy’s ear off now.”

Buffy laughed, glad that it seemed to be going so well. “I think Spike can handle it. I just hope Dad didn’t freak him out with that ‘welcome to the family’ comment. It’s a bit too soon to be thinking about that.”

“Let’s give them time to bond since it doesn’t look like any blood will be spilled. I could use your help with dinner.”

Buffy nodded and followed her mother into the kitchen.


* * * * *


“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

It sure didn’t take Hank long to get right to the point. Spike was quiet for a minute as he thought. “I really love your daughter, sir. I know we’ve only been together for a short time, but I do plan on marrying her one day. She means everything to me.”

Hank nodded. “I just worry about her. I know she’s not a little girl anymore, but she’ll always be my little girl. I met that other boyfriend of hers only a few times, but I never liked what I saw. He would always make decisions for her and I know I raised Buffy to be a strong woman. I never understood why she would let that man treat her the way he did. She’s better than that. I hope that I won’t be seeing the same thing from you.”

Spike shook his head. “You don’t have to worry about that, Mr. Summers. I know how strong Buffy is. I would never do anything to change that. She’s perfect just the way she is. I couldn’t stand Lindsey when I first met him, and it killed me knowing that an amazing woman like Buffy could be with a complete ponce like that. I’m nothing like him.”

Hank smiled. “Well, that’s a good thing to hear. And please, call me Hank. Mr. Summers is my father.”

Spike smiled in return; glad to have the older man’s approval.

“Does Buffy know of your feelings?” he asked suddenly.

“I haven’t exactly told her yet. It’s really soon, I wouldn’t want to scare her off.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Hank didn’t say anything else as the women made their way into the living room.

“Are you two playing nice?” Buffy asked.

“Of course, honey. You have yourself a good man here.”

Buffy smiled and sat next to Spike. She was extremely relieved that everything was going so well.


* * * * *


“You’re not going to tell me what you talked about with my father, are you?”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing for you to worry about. Your father’s a pretty decent bloke.”

Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “I told you everything would be fine.”

Spike placed a soft kiss on her lips. “You always know best.” He kissed her harder and pulled her closer to him. He started to move them over to the bedroom, but Buffy had other ideas.

“Later, I have something that I need to do first.”

Spike pouted. “What could be more important?”

She tried not to let the pout affect her. “I have to go see someone. It shouldn’t take me long.”

He raised his eyebrows. “And who would that be?”

Buffy gave him a quick kiss on the lips, then made her way over to the front door. “I’ll be back later.” She walked out of the apartment, leaving Spike to stare after her in confusion.


* * * * *


Buffy walked to the familiar house that she hasn’t been to in what felt like forever. She took a deep breath before knocking.

“Well, never expected you to show up here,” the brunette drawled, leaning in the doorway.

Buffy nodded. “I didn’t expect to be here, either. I was hoping that your address was the same. We need to talk, Faith.”

She moved out of the way and let Buffy into the house.

Buffy looked around and couldn’t believe that she hasn’t been there in three years. A lot of things have changed.

“What did you wanna talk about?”

Buffy finally looked at her old friend. “I wanted to apologize for everything. You were always such a good friend and I was horrible to you. I should have listened to you about Lindsey. I was just scared and confused, but I like to think that I’m better now. I know it took me about three years to come to my senses, but I finally ended things with him. I don’t expect for things to ever be the way they were with us before, but I would like to try and be friends again.”

Faith was quiet for a second as she thought. “I would like that, too. It just hurt knowing that you would choose him over me, but I’m not one to hold a grudge. As long as you finally got rid of the bastard.”

Buffy smiled. “So, we’re okay then?”

Faith nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.”

Buffy was relieved and gave her a hug.

Faith was taken by surprise, but then returned the embrace.

Buffy pulled away after a moment and was about to say something else, when another voice stopped her.

“Mommy, I’m thirsty.”

Faith turned her attention on the child that was standing behind her. “All right, sweetie. Come here for a second.”

The little girl walked over to her mother, who then picked her up.

Faith looked at Buffy and took a deep breath. “This is Dawn, my daughter.”

Buffy nodded; stunned that Faith had a daughter that she knew nothing about. She supposed it made sense; they haven’t been a part of each other’s lives for years. She was more determined than ever to change that.

Chapter 15

“I still can’t believe you have a daughter,” Buffy said for what had to be the millionth time after Faith took Dawn back to her room.

“Yeah, I’m still getting used to it. A lot has changed since we last saw each other.”

Buffy agreed. A lot had changed; she hadn’t realized that things could have changed so much. “Well, I’m happy for you. It looks like you’re really doing well for yourself.”

Faith shrugged. “I get by. I’m working two jobs right now. I had to take a break from the college life when I found out about Dawn. Nothing seemed important anymore.”

“I guess that makes sense. Is it just you two living here? You didn’t mention anything about her father.” Buffy immediately regretted bringing it up when she saw the pained expression on her friend’s face. “I’m sorry; it’s none of my business.”

Faith waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I figured you’d ask eventually. The father’s not in the picture. And trust me, it’s better that way. Dawn’s better off not knowing him. To put it simply, the guy was a total prick. He doesn’t even know about her and I don’t plan on him ever finding out. I’m hoping to never have to see the bastard again.”

“I’m really sorry about everything, Faith. I should have been around more. I feel so bad knowing that you were dealing with all of this by yourself.”

“You know me, B. I’m more of a loner, anyway. It’s just good to have you around now.”

Buffy smiled. “You’ll probably end up getting tired of me with how often I plan on being around. Hey, do you wanna come to the Bronze tomorrow night? It’s been a while since we’ve done anything fun.”

Faith nodded. “I might be able to go. I have someone that watches Dawn for me every now and then. He loves to do it.”

Buffy perked up at this. “He?” She was surprised when Faith blushed. That wasn’t something that happened often.

“He’s just a friend. I met him at my first job and he likes to help me out sometimes.”

Buffy decided not to push the issue, but she had a feeling they were more than just friends. She checked her watch and stood up in surprise when she realized how late it was. “I should be getting back now. Spike will probably send out a search party for me. He worries a bit too much.”

“You’re dating a guy named Spike?”

Buffy nodded with a small, shy grin. “It’s a nickname. I don’t really get it all that much either, but it suits him. I’ll introduce you if you come to the Bronze.”

“Well, now I have to go.”

The girls hugged quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Buffy said, hurrying out the door.

Once she was alone, Faith smiled and went to check on her daughter. It was really great to have her friend back.


* * * * *


“What took you so long? I almost had to go to bed alone.”

Buffy knew that Spike would be waiting up for her. “Sorry, it took longer than I planned. I just had to talk to someone.”

“Would this happen to be another man?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “No, I have plans with him next week,” she retorted teasingly.

“Okay, I don’t know if you’re being serious or not,” he replied, clearly not amused.

“Of course I’m not being serious. I went to see an old girlfriend of mine. We had some catching up to do. I found out that she has a daughter, now. I never would have guessed that she would be the first one to have a kid. She’s the cutest little girl, too. I think maybe about three or four-years-old. I want one now.” She laughed at the look on her boyfriend’s face. “I was kidding that time, Spike. I know it’s way too soon to be thinking about that, but I do want kids in the near future. Just keep that in mind.”

Spike agreed. “I can do that. So you birds had a good conversation, then?”

“Yeah, it was great talking with Faith again. I never realized how much I missed her until now. She always made college more interesting, until Lindsey came into my life and thought it was fun to control everything I did.” Buffy sighed wistfully. “Tell me again why I didn’t break up with him sooner? No, forget not breaking up with him sooner. I should have never dated him in the first place. I must have really been desperate. Sure, he’s gorgeous if you like that sort of thing, but really not my type now that I think about it.”

Spike stopped her rambling by placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Let’s not talk about him, sweetheart. I would rather go to bed.”

Buffy nodded and let him pull her to the bedroom. “You know what I just realized? We’re practically living together now. I’m always over here and most of my stuff is even here. I don’t even remember when the last time was that I stayed the night at Riley’s.”

“I guess I never really thought about that. Is it a bad thing?”

She shook her head. “No, it actually doesn’t really scare me. I like the idea of living with you, but we’re not ready for anything more serious just yet. In fact, I think I should stay at Riley’s tomorrow. If we’re always together every night, we’re bound to get sick of each other.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. But if you think it’s the right thing to do, then we’ll do it. I’ll have to try and survive a night without you.” He paused and grinned. “But not tonight.”

Buffy squealed as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, giggling as he carted her off to the bedroom and slammed the door behind them.


* * * * *


Buffy was perched firmly on Spike’s lap at the Bronze the next night, unable to quench the urge to be close to him. Her face lit up when she saw Faith enter the club. She jumped off her boyfriend’s lap and headed over to the brunette.

“Hey, I’m really glad you could make it.”

Faith nodded. “I almost didn’t for a second there.”

Buffy smiled and grabbed Faith’s hand, pulling her over to their table. She introduced Faith to those that didn’t already know her.

Faith greeted everyone and took a seat in the only available chair. Everyone soon dissolved into conversation that was hard to keep up with; all things considered. Her eyes remained on Buffy, who was once again perched on Spike’s lap. It was obvious that they were completely into each other, and while he seemed much better than Lindsey, she had just met the man.

All eyes turned to the stage when the lights dimmed and the night’s performer appeared, guitar in hand. He sat down on a proffered stool and started to play.

Buffy’s eyes bulged when his voice carried over the club, recognizing him immediately. It didn’t take long for the others to notice.

“Does he do this often?” Spike said in her ear.

Buffy shook her head. “This would be a first,” she replied, her eyes glued to the stage. She couldn’t believe that her ex-boyfriend was up there. That he was singing. That he was actually good. She then glanced over at Faith and frowned at how pale her friend had become. Almost as though she’d seen a ghost.

After a few minutes, Faith bolted to her feet and made a beeline for the exit.

Confused, Buffy went after her, catching up once they were outside. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Faith stopped to look at her. “You didn’t say he would be here.”

“That’s because I didn’t know. This is the first time he’s ever done anything like this. That I know of, anyway. Why are you so upset? I’m the one that should be all wigged right now.”

She shook her head, tears starting to form in her eyes. “I can’t be around him. I don’t even want to be in the same room as him.”

“Faith, what’s going on? I know you never liked Lindsey, but there has to be more to it than that for you to act like this when he’s near. Did he do something to you? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Faith ran her fingers through her hair, her voice choking around the truth. She just hoped that Buffy would understand. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, B. There’s a lot about my past that you don’t know.”

“I would like to know. We all have secrets; it can’t be anything that bad.”

Faith gave a humorless laugh. “It really is.” She took a deep breath before revealing the rest. “Buffy, Lindsey is Dawn’s father.”

Chapter 16

“What? Lindsey’s the father? He’s the guy you told me about?”

Faith nodded when the questions seemed to stop, but Buffy wasn’t quite finished.

“How the hell did that happen? You mean to tell me that you slept with him three years ago? I thought you hated him. Why would you sleep with him? And while I was dating him? I can’t believe you would do that.”

Faith held her hand up, finally cutting Buffy off. “Can I please explain before you go biting my head off?”

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “Go ahead, this should be good.”

Faith took a deep breath. “First of all, I’m sorry you had to find out like that. I never wanted anyone to find out. I just wanted to forget that he ever existed. I never asked for any of this, but I can’t say that I regret it. I brought a beautiful, little girl into the world. That’s something I could never regret, but I do regret the way it happened.”

Buffy dropped her hands back to her side. “How did it happen? It was when I was with him, right?”

Faith nodded. “You two were together for a few months when it happened. I didn’t like Lindsey from the beginning. I never thought he was good enough for you, but no matter how much I tried to tell you that, you would never listen. You never listened to anything bad that was said about him. You were just so happy to find a guy that was really interested in you. I tried to be happy for you, but I just couldn’t. It happened right after we had that argument in your dorm. I was upset and wanted to blow off some steam, so I ended up at some college party. I had a bit too much to drink that night. Anyway, I saw Lindsey there with another girl and went to confront him about it. I told him that I would tell you and he tried to convince me that it was no big deal. He said that you wouldn’t believe me anyway, so there was no point in telling you. I said that I didn’t care and tried to leave, but he wouldn’t let me. He made this big deal about us talking about it in private. So, I ended up following him to one of the empty rooms we found. He tried to explain that the girl he was with didn’t mean anything to him and that he loved you, but I could tell how drunk he was. It was hard to believe anything that came out of his mouth. He then started to smooth talk me by saying how tense I was and that I should relax.”

Buffy gasped when she had a feeling about the rest of it. “Oh god, did he rape you?”

Faith felt tears start to blur her vision, but continued with the story. “I was too wasted to fight him off. I remember him throwing me on the bed and it was all a little hazy after that. I think I passed out or something, but when I woke up, I was laying in the bed naked next to him. He was sleeping, so I just snuck out of there. I didn’t know what else to do. I saw Lindsey the next day and he acted like nothing happened. He said that he didn’t remember any of it, but there was no way I could believe that. I was so angry and that’s when I decided to tell you about the other girl I saw, leaving out the rest of it. What really hurt was knowing that he was right, you didn’t believe me. I think that was the last time we really talked. You cut yourself off from everyone after that, especially me. It was about two months later that I found out I was pregnant.”

Buffy was trying to fight the tears that wanted to fall down her face now, but it was a losing battle. “Faith, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that happened. I should have just listened to you, but that wasn’t the only reason we stopped talking. Lindsey told me that you tried to hit on him. I can’t believe I actually believed that bastard. I can’t believe I spent three years of my life with him. I’m so sorry.”

Faith wrapped her arms around Buffy and gave her a reassuring hug.

Buffy reciprocated the embrace, not being able to stop the tears any longer.

“It’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter anymore. At least we’re finally together now.”

Buffy nodded and pulled out of the hug a few seconds later. She couldn’t believe everything that happened, then angrily wiped at her tears. “I’ll kill him for this,” she spat.

“No, I don’t want to make things worse. I just wanna forget about everything that happened with him. I can’t have him finding out about Dawn. Promise you won’t tell him,” Faith practically pleaded.

“I won’t say anything about Dawn, but I have to do something. We’ve both been victims for far too long. I think it was about time that changed. He can’t just push women around because he feels like it. If it’s not us, it’ll be some other poor girl. Not really counting Harmony, she deserves him.”

That got a laugh out of Faith. She heard about the secretary that was Lindsey’s new conquest. “Honestly, I don’t care what you do to the prick. I only care if he finds out about Dawn. He’s a lawyer, there’s no telling what he might do.”

Buffy put her arm around the brunette. “Don’t worry, he’ll never find out about her.”

Faith smiled. “Thanks, I really appreciate that. I think I’m gonna get home now. I have a sudden urge to hold my daughter. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, you can count on that. I’m glad you told me, Faith. Things are going to be different from now on.”

Faith nodded and after giving Buffy a smile, left the alley.

Buffy watched her go, then turned around and headed back inside the club. She had a determined look on her face when she spotted Lindsey by the stage, talking to some slutty blonde. She rolled her eyes and made her way over to them.

Lindsey looked away from the woman to notice Buffy coming in his direction. He never expected her to be there. He expected the fist in his face even less.

Buffy watched with a satisfied smile as Lindsey fell to the floor. “That is for everyone that you’ve hurt.” She then gave him a nice, hard, kick in the groin.

Lindsey groaned in pain, with one hand on his nose and the other on his privates.

“That was for the last three years. I hope you enjoy the rest of your pitiful existence, Lindsey.” She turned around, only to bump into Spike.

He smiled at her after witnessing the display. “Is it wrong for me to be turned on by that?”

She smiled in return, then grabbed his hand and headed to where her friends were waiting.

Spike turned back to look at Lindsey one last time. He grinned and gave the other man the finger, pleased in the look of loathing that Lindsey was throwing his way.

Chapter 17

“Okay, I have never seen you smile so much before.”

Spike’s smile grew even bigger. “That’s because I’ve never been this happy before.”

Cordelia smiled as well. She wanted to spend the day with her step-brother because they haven’t seen each other much since he moved to Sunnydale. She was hoping to get some information out of him about the new love in his life. That looked to be easier than she thought. “Any woman that can keep that smile on your face must be pretty special.”

“Bloody amazing is how I would describe her.”

Cordelia shook her head. “I still can’t believe we’re talking about Buffy Summers. I never would have figured you to fall for a teacher. You guys are so different.”

Spike nodded. “Well, you know what they say about opposites attract.”

“No, what do they say?” she wondered.

Spike raised his eyebrows. “That opposites attract.”

“Oh, I knew that.”

He rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. “We’re not so different. We both like sex, for one. The poor girl has been deprived of it for too long. Six bloody months is just torture, but she’s very inventive when she wants to be. She actually bought these trick handcuffs and we...”

Cordelia held her hand up. “I’m so stopping you right there. That is way too much information, buddy.”

“Sorry, got carried away,” he amended.

“Yeah, you seem to do that a lot where Buffy is concerned. You really love her, don’t you? I can tell because your eyes light up whenever her name is mentioned.”

Spike ran his fingers through his hair. “This is different than anything I’ve ever felt before, even Drusilla and you know how crazy I was over her.”

“You’d have to be crazy to want that psycho.” She paused at the look on his face. “Sorry, carry on.”

“I’m just worried that I might do something to screw it up. I don’t know what I would do if I lost her.”

Cordelia gave his hand a comforting squeeze. “You’re doing fine, Will. You really don’t need to worry so much.”

Spike nodded and just decided to change the subject. “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?”

She smiled. “I was actually wondering if you could baby-sit for us tonight. Angel and I haven’t had a night out in what feels like forever.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

Cordelia placed a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, we really appreciate it.”

They continued their walk in silence.

Spike realized that they were walking over to the park bench that he remembered sitting with Buffy in what felt like lifetimes ago. He noticed that someone else was sitting there now. As he moved closer, he was able to recognize the woman. She looked distressed and was clutching a cell phone in her hand. There was a stroller next to her that held a small child inside. “Faith, is everything okay?”

She turned to look at him, relieved to see someone that she knew. “No, apparently there’s some emergency at work and they need me to come in. I can’t get anyone to watch Dawn for me in such short notice. I tried calling Buffy as a last resort, but there’s no answer.”

Spike nodded, figuring that Buffy was out and forgot to turn her phone on again. “I’ll watch her for you,” he said suddenly.

Her face lit up. “Really? I wouldn’t want you to go through the trouble.”

Spike shook his head. “It’s no trouble, love.” He then turned to Cordelia. “You think I can take her to your house? I’ll look after both her and Connor. It might be good for him to have someone close to his age to play with.”

Cordelia nodded and smiled at Faith. “Sure, it would be fine.”

Faith let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you, she has everything that she needs with her. I should only be a few hours.”

Spike peeked into the stroller and gazed at the sleeping child. “She’s a cute one.”

Faith gave him a grateful smile and handed over Dawn’s bag.

Cordelia assured Faith that everything would be taken care of and exchanged addresses and phone numbers with her.

Spike tuned them out after that and just continued to stare at the little girl. He was getting closer to realizing that he was ready for children. He wouldn’t bring that up with Buffy just yet, but looking at the little angel in the stroller was enough to convince him.


* * * * *


“What’s this one?”

Connor looked it over before expressing his answer. “Tyrannosaurus!”

Spike smiled and put down the dinosaur that he was holding. “Right again, has Mommy been letting you watch Jurassic Park? That movie is probably too scary for you.”

Connor scrunched up his nose. “I’m not scared! I’m a big boy!”

Spike held his hands up in surrender. “Of course, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He glanced next to him and saw that Dawn was playing with an old doll that Cordelia gave to her, then turned back to Connor. “Hey, big boy? Why don’t you play with Dawn, but be gentle with her?”

Connor nodded and moved over to Dawn, who was still engrossed in her new doll. The little boy got closer and planted a kiss on Dawn’s cheek. He then shared some of his toys with her.

Spike smiled as he watched the kids together. It wasn’t hard to picture himself staring at his own children. He really wanted a big family one day, but hoped that it was also something Buffy wanted.


* * * * *


Spike entered his apartment later that night.

“Buffy? Are you here?” he called out. He gave her a key a few days ago and told her that she could come and go as she pleased. He was worried it would have been too soon for that, but she just took the key with a smile.

Spike walked into the bedroom and stopped when he saw Buffy passed out in his bed. She must have had a tiring day. He decided to make himself something to eat and just let her sleep. He walked closer to the bed and pressed his lips to her forehead. He brushed some of the hair out of her face and stared at her contentedly. “I love you,” he whispered, then turned and headed back to the doorway. He almost made it out of the room, but her soft voice stopped him.

“I love you, too.”

Chapter 18

Spike groaned when he noticed that Buffy went right back to her nap. “Bloody great. You tell me you love me and then go to sleep. You really are trying to drive me crazy.” He headed back over to her and placed another kiss on her forehead. “I really hope you meant it,” he whispered, then walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Buffy opened her eyes and smiled once Spike was gone. She made herself more comfortable and tried to drift back off to sleep, with the smile still on her face.


* * * * *


Buffy knocked on Faith’s door and got no answer. She turned the knob after a moment to find that the door was unlocked. She suddenly felt worried and let herself into the house. She moved into the living room and stopped at the sight in front of her. Faith was sitting on the couch with a man that Buffy didn’t recognize, and they were in the middle of a heavy lip lock. She cleared her throat.

Faith quickly pulled away and immediately looked embarrassed.

The man was just missing the loss of her lips.

“Buffy, what are you doing here?”

She smiled. “I knocked, but there was no answer. I can see why.”

Faith glared and fixed her shirt, then turned back to the man by her side. “This is Buffy, my annoying friend.”

He nodded. “Right, the chick that you mentioned.”

Buffy crossed her arms at being called a chick.

Faith glanced back at the blonde. “This is Charles Gunn, but he just goes by Gunn. It’s a thing.”

Buffy nodded and graced him with a small smile.

Gunn smiled in return and then stood up. “I guess I’ll let you ladies talk.” He pulled Faith up and gave her a firm kiss on the mouth. “I’ll see you later.”

Buffy watched as he walked out of the house, then turned her attention on Faith. “So, just a friend?”

“Shut up, we’re not really together. He just comes over every now and then, and we sometimes get carried away. Dawn’s over at a friend’s. I rarely get the house to myself and when I do, I tend to take advantage of it. There aren’t many men out there that would be interested in a single mother, but Gunn’s different. He already loves her.”

Buffy smiled, glad that her friend had someone like that in her life. “Well, that’s really great. I’m happy for you. I just wanted to see if you were okay, but it’s obvious that you are. I’ll just get back to Spike now. We have things to talk about and I can’t avoid the conversation forever.”

Faith nodded in understanding.

Buffy gave her one more smile before leaving the house. She dreaded the upcoming conversation with Spike, but hoped she was ready for it.


* * * * *


“Finally, you’re back. We really need to talk.”

Buffy pretended to be clueless as she entered Spike’s apartment. “Talk about what?”

He gave her a look that clearly said he didn’t believe her. “You know what about, Buffy. We need to talk about what you said last night. It’s driving me crazy. I need to know if you meant it.”

She shrugged. “I don’t remember saying anything.”

Spike growled and threw his hands in the air. “Are you trying to make me crazy? I know you remember. I refuse to believe that you were actually sleeping.”

Buffy laughed and couldn’t keep up with it anymore. “You mean the part where I said I loved you? How could I forget that? You took me by surprise when you said it. The only thing I could think of was to say it back. Did you really want me to say thank you? That would have been a slap in the face.”

He shook his head. “No, but I wanted you to mean it. I don’t want you to say that if it’s not something you feel.”

Buffy could see the distress on his face and moved closer to him. She took both of his hands in hers. “I meant it, Spike. I do love you. I know I’m still burned from my so-called relationship with Lindsey and hearing you say it so soon was really a shock, but I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t mean it. This is all so very new to me. I’m not used to being in a relationship with someone that actually loves me. I don’t know why I ever thought that Lindsey did. I should have known that what I had with him wasn’t love. You’ve already given me so much. I guess it’s just hard to believe at times.”

Spike wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, cradling her head against his chest. “I love you so bloody much, Buffy. I’ve never felt anything like this before, not even for Drusilla. It’s just as new to me. The emotions I felt for you did scare me at first, but now it’s the most natural thing in the world. You’ll never have to doubt my love. It’s something that I don’t think can ever go away.”

Buffy nodded against his chest. “That’s a comforting thought.”

He smiled and planted a kiss on the crown of her head.

They just stood in each other’s embrace for a while longer, knowing that no more words needed to be said.


* * * * *


It was another school day and Buffy was watching the kids get picked up by their parents. She loved seeing the happy looks on their faces as they talked the adults’ ears off about what they did that day. She then saw Cordelia and waved to her.

Cordelia smiled and walked over, clutching Connor’s hand in hers. “Hey, I wanted to thank you.”

Buffy was taken by surprise. “Thank me for what?”

“For everything you’ve done for William. I’ve never seen him like this before and I know it’s because of you. I was really worried about Will after I heard about the trouble he was getting into in England. I’ve seen a complete change in him since he’s been here. Well, since he’s met you. That Drusilla woman was just horrible. For the longest time I thought he would never really get over her. She made him completely miserable. It’s so great to see him happy again.”

Buffy blushed. “I didn’t really do much.”

Cordelia shook her head. “You did a lot more than you think. He’s even getting along with Angel now. I never thought that was possible.”

Buffy smiled and was about to reply, but was stopped by the ringing of her cell phone. She excused herself and went to her desk to answer it.

Cordelia was concerned at the look on Buffy’s face when she took the call.

Buffy hung up after a moment and turned back to her. “Lindsey’s in trouble. The guy on the phone said he didn’t know who else to call. I have to go.”

Cordelia nodded and watched her leave the classroom, hoping that everything was all right.

Chapter 19

Buffy entered Willy’s bar and searched for her ex-boyfriend. She found him perched on one of the stools, with a bottle of beer attached to his lips.

The bartender saw her and immediately went over to her side. “He’s out of control. I tried to cut him off, but he just threw a glass against the wall. I didn’t wanna get the cops involved, so I called you. I know you two used to have a thing. And besides, you were all he talked about.”

Buffy nodded and stared at Lindsey. She couldn’t believe that he would stoop so low as to get completely wasted. She looked back at Willy. “Thanks, I’ll handle it from here.”

He sighed in relief and went to deal with a few other customers.

Buffy shook her head and walked over to Lindsey. She felt anger take over when she got a good look at him. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him so disoriented and it pissed the hell out of her. “What the hell are you doing?”

He turned at the sound of her voice. A smile forming on his face. “Sweetheart, I was just thinking about you.”

She cringed at the scent of booze that was coming off of him. “Well, you can stop thinking about me. We’re not together anymore, Lindsey. He shouldn’t have had to call me to get you out of here. I think that falls in Harmony’s territory now.”

Lindsey shook his head. “I’m not with her, Buffy. Everything I said was a lie. She’s a poor substitute for you. I’m nothing without you, baby.” He tried to grab her, but she just moved out of his way.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. Let’s go, I’m taking you home.” She took his hand and pulled him off of the stool.

Lindsey just draped his arm over her shoulders to keep from falling. His hand went a little too low and Buffy grabbed a hold of it.

“If you even think about touching my boob, I’ll deck you. I don’t care if you’re drunk.”

He only nodded and let her help him out of the bar and into her car.

Buffy started it up once she got him situated and then drove to her old house.


* * * * *


Lindsey managed to get the front door open after a few tries.

Buffy rolled her eyes and helped him into the house. She deposited him on the couch and watched his head drop to the cushion. She was once again wondering what she ever saw in him. She was about to walk away, but his voice stopped her.

“I lost my job, Buffy.”

She turned back to look at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Not that I care, but what happened?”

He sat up and took a deep breath. “I was drinking at work. I got so frustrated with this one case that I blew up at my boss. I don’t remember much, but I think I might have destroyed his office.”

Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She glanced around the living room to see the mess it was in. She couldn’t remember him ever keeping the house anything but clean when she lived there. She noticed all of the empty beer bottles and cans that littered the floor. “God, what happened to you?”

Lindsey let out a humorless laugh. “Do you even need to ask? I’m a complete screw up, I get that. I’ve been this way for a long time. To be honest, I’m surprised you stayed with me for as long as you did. I’ve lost everything and I pretty much deserve it. I don’t know what I’m going to do, Buffy.”

He sounded so broken that Buffy couldn’t do anything except sit down next to him. She gave him a pat on the back. “You’ll figure something out. I know you, Lindsey. You wouldn’t let this get you down for long. You just have to stop drinking so much. It’s not going to help you get better.”

Lindsey knew she was right and looked into her eyes. He caressed her cheek. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was an idiot for letting you go. I wasn’t the man that you deserved, but I can make up for that. I know you still love me, Buffy.”

She didn’t say anything and tried to avoid his gaze, but he wouldn’t let her.

“We had some great times, didn’t we?” He moved his hands down to the buttons on her blouse, undoing the top button and keeping his gaze locked on hers. “I’m going crazy without you. I need you, baby.” He then couldn’t take anymore and crushed his lips to hers.

Buffy finally came back to reality and shoved him away from her. She stood up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I can’t believe I just fell for that. You were putting on this vulnerable act just so I would sleep with you? God, you really are disgusting,” she spat, then headed for the door.

Lindsey got up and went after her. “You were into it just as much as I was. Admit it, Buffy. You can’t live without me, either. You know there’s something still between us.”

Buffy glared at him. “The only thing that’s between us is loathing. I hate you, Lindsey. Do you understand that? I have a man in my life now that I love. A man that would never treat me like you did. He’s the only person I could ever want. You were just a moment of weakness, but I’m not weak anymore.” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “I’m really sorry that you lost your job, but you only have yourself to blame. If you want someone to help you, I suggest you go live with your mother. Goodbye, Lindsey.” She pulled the front door open and marched out of the house, not bothering to give him a another glance. She just wanted to be as far away from her ex-boyfriend as possible. She got back in her car and drove away. She had to stop and pay Riley a visit to let him know about the state his brother was in, then she was going to see Spike. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice that she was being watched.


* * * * *


Spike was pacing back and forth in his living room. He was worried that Buffy hasn’t arrived yet when she should have been there hours ago. She would usually call if she was going to be late. He sighed in relief when there was a knock on the door. He didn’t even wonder why she would be knocking instead of just letting herself in. He opened the door with a smile on his face, which quickly faded once he saw the familiar woman standing there. A woman that he never thought he would see again.

“Drusilla?”

Chapter 20

“My Spike, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

He couldn’t seem to form any words at the moment.

She didn’t wait for an invitation and just made her way into the apartment.

Spike finally was brought out of his thoughts. He turned around to face her, not even bothering to shut the door. “What the bloody hell are you doing here, Dru? How did you even find me? Never mind, I don’t care to know. I think you should leave.”

“Now, is that any way to treat the woman you love?”

He could feel a headache already coming on. “I don’t love you anymore. I doubt if I ever really did. You’ve caused me nothing but trouble. That’s part of my past I would like to forget, and you being here is not helping.”

Drusilla gave him a twisted grin. “But the stars have spoken to me. I think you would want to know what they said.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Would you quit it with the bloody stars? You’re a sodding nutcase, you know that? I can’t believe I stayed with you for so bloody long.”

She moved closer to him and gently touched his cheek. “You’ve been a very bad dog, choosing the light over your dark princess. She will only hurt you, William. I can make everything better.”

Spike knew she was crazy, but she always did have a meaning behind her words. “What are you on about?”

Drusilla smiled and pressed her lips to his ear. “Turn around,” she whispered.

Spike was taken by surprise, but did as she said. His eyes bulged when he saw Buffy standing in the doorway. He had a feeling about what was going through her head and immediately pulled away from Drusilla. “Love, this isn’t what it looks like.”

Buffy stepped further into the apartment, not knowing what to think. “What’s going on?” she asked shakily.

“Nothing’s going on. Drusilla was just leaving,” he said, giving the other woman a stern look.

“Drusilla? Your ex-girlfriend?”

Spike nodded and really wanted to take her into his arms to show her how much Drusilla being there didn’t affect him, but Dru had a different idea.

“Naughty little girl. You should be ashamed to betray my sweet boy.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows; clearly Spike wasn’t lying when he said his ex wasn’t all there. She was about to respond, but never got the chance.

“I saw you visiting a past lover. Were you not coming out of his house?” she said with a satisfied smirk.

Spike turned his gaze on Buffy, knowing who Drusilla was referring to. “Is that true? You were with Lindsey? Is that why you were so late?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, it wasn’t like that. He got really drunk and they didn’t know of anyone else that could help him. I only took him home, but I left right after that.”

Spike sighed in relief. He knew Buffy had no reason to lie, but Drusilla’s next words made his heart clench.

“Is that smeared lipstick, deary? Did snogging the bad dog make you feel all better?”

Buffy looked into Spike’s eyes and could see the hurt and disappointment. She had to somehow make this right.

“You kissed him?” he wondered softly.

“I wouldn’t do that, Spike. Lindsey tried to make me feel sorry for him. He kissed me and I pushed him away right when it happened. I left right after that and wanted to see you. I told him how much I loved you and that he didn’t mean anything to me anymore. You believe me, right?”

Spike didn’t know what to believe. A cackling laugh brought his eyes back on Drusilla.

“Poor lost girl. Doesn’t know how to keep a real man. My Spike would be better off in the dark. Her heart will always belong to another.”

Spike shut his eyes tight. “Get out,” he said in a soft, harsh voice. He then opened his eyes and stared right at Buffy.

She was hurt and couldn’t believe that he would actually kick her out. “Spike, you can’t listen to her. She’s just trying to turn you against me.”

Drusilla was giggling like a mad woman.

Buffy couldn’t take anymore. She turned and started to walk away, but Spike grabbed her arm. She looked up at him in confusion to see that his eyes were focused on Drusilla now.

“I told you to get out, Dru. I’m done listening to anything you have to say. I’m finally happy with my life and I’ll be damned if I’m about to let you ruin it.”

Buffy let out a breath that she didn’t even realize she was holding, relieved that Spike wasn’t talking to her.

Drusilla gave him a sad look. “Poor Spike, you’re so lost. Not even I can help you now,” she replied, then left the apartment.

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy and pulled her closer to his side. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t know she would find me here. God, I never wanted you to deal with her. She’s bloody insane.”

Buffy laughed against his chest. “I kinda noticed.” She looked up at him after a moment. “You do believe me, right? The kiss didn’t mean anything. Lindsey was just so pathetic. I had to help him, but that’s all it was. I wanted to get back to you as fast as I could. He’s on his own now. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

Spike smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I believe you, Buffy. I know you love me. I would never believe Drusilla over you, pet. I’m starting to wonder what I ever saw in the crazy bint.”

Buffy shrugged. “I really couldn’t tell you, but I’m glad you’re over that phase.”

He nodded in agreement. “You have no idea. Now, I only prefer the small, blonde type.”

She slapped his chest playfully. “I better be the only one.”

Spike held her tighter, “Always, baby. I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.”

They just continued to hold each other for a while after that.

Epilogue

Seven years later…

“Dawn, where are you? Has anyone seen my daughter?”

Buffy glanced up from stuffing the turkey at her worried friend. “She just ran in here a few minutes ago. I think she’s playing a game with Connor.”

Faith let out a sigh. “I just can’t keep up with her these days.”

Buffy laughed. “You should wait until she’s a teenager.”

Faith looked scared at just the thought of that and went to find her daughter. “Dawn, we have to get you cleaned up. It’s almost time for dinner.” She entered the young girl’s room and saw her hiding in the closet, her little foot sticking out of the door. “Hmm, I wonder where she could be.” Faith moved over to the closet and quickly opened it. “Gotcha,” she said in triumph.

The girl pouted. “Mommy, you weren’t supposed to come looking for me. I’m hiding from Connor, we’re playing hide and seek.”

Faith kneeled down to be closer to her daughter. “You can finish the game later, baby. You need to get changed and put on that pretty dress that Aunt Buffy picked out for you.”

A young boy then bounded into the room. “Ha, I found you.”

“I’m sure your mother wants you to wash up as well, Connor. Come on, you guys can play later. It’s Thanksgiving,” she told them and was met with groans from both children.

Cordelia waddled over to her son and took him into the bathroom to clean his dirty face from playing outside. She was eight months pregnant and expecting a daughter around Christmas. Cordy and Angel were so excited to find out she was pregnant again that they couldn’t keep the sex a secret. This way they would be more prepared in what to get for the baby.

Buffy smiled when Faith joined her. “They’re so cute together sometimes. Do you think they might start dating when they get older?”

“I don’t know, B. I’m not thinking about Dawn ever dating. Men are nothing but trouble.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “How can you say that when you have a great man in your life? Gunn would do anything for that girl and you know it. Not to mention you.”

Faith nodded. “Okay, let me rephrase that. Boys are nothing but trouble.”

Buffy laughed and started to set the table. She couldn’t argue with that.

A man ran into the house from the backyard, a little girl perched on his back. “Time to put you down, sweetheart. I think Daddy is getting too old for this.” He set the child down and smiled at Buffy. “Hey, love. You need any help with that?”

Buffy smiled in return at her husband. “I’m almost finished. Are you guys having fun?”

“Daddy was giving me a piggy back ride. I wanna go again!” the little girl exclaimed.

Buffy smiled fondly at her daughter. “Maybe after dinner, Cassie. I think Daddy’s back is hurting right now.”

Spike nodded. “I’m an old man, after all.”

Buffy knew that he was far from being old, but just agreed anyway.

A little boy entered the house and by the looks of him, he was busy rolling around in the dirt outside. “Can we eat yet?”

Spike sighed and let Buffy know that he would handle it. “Come on, William. Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, taking his son’s hand and pulling him over to the sink in the kitchen.

“Is dinner ready yet?”

Buffy rolled her eyes at the man that showed up, sounding like the children. “Yes, I just have to put the food on the table. How was your nap, Angel?”

He shrugged. “As good as it can be in a house full of kids. Have you seen Cordy?”

“She was getting Connor cleaned up. It seems all the children have chosen to get dirty at the same time.”

Angel nodded and went to look for his wife.

Buffy finished setting the table and stared at the beautiful display of food. She loved this time of year when she was around all those that she loved. They were celebrating the holiday at Faith’s house this time. It was big enough to hold everyone.

The doorbell rang and Spike went to go answer it, smiling when he saw Riley and Lorne. “Hey, we were thinking you guys wouldn’t make it.”

Lorne smiled as well. “Oh, we wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

They walked into the house and Riley handed him a bottle of wine.

“For the happy occasion.”

Spike took the bottle from him with a thank you, then ushered them into the dining room.

Buffy smiled and hugged both men, happy that everyone was able to show up. Well, those that didn’t have plans elsewhere. The last she heard of Lindsey, he moved back to Texas and was probably a farmer now. She wished him luck with that.

The others finally made their way into the dining room and took their seats around the table.

Spike cleared his throat when he saw William about to take a piece of turkey. “You know what comes first.”

The little boy retracted his hand and looked down.

They all lowered their heads and gave thanks before digging in to the delicious meal.

“You outdid yourself again, love. This is fantastic.”

Buffy beamed at the praise as everyone else also gave her compliments. She would never get tired of it.

Everyone then started breaking out into different conversations.

Buffy grasped Spike’s hand under the table, giving it a squeeze. “We need to talk after dinner. I have something that I need to tell you.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “You can tell me now if it’s so important.”

Buffy thought about it and nodded. “Okay, I guess I’ll start by saying that I lied about going to the mall with the girls last week.”

He placed his hand over his heart. “Are you having an affair?”

Buffy slapped his arm and could tell that he was only teasing. “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew for sure, but I went to the doctor’s instead.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m pregnant, Spike.”

His eyes widened. “You’re pregnant? We’re having another baby?”

She nodded and hoped that he was okay with it, but the huge smile that lit up his face was enough to assure her.

Spike gave her a big hug, then addressed everyone else. “We’re having a baby!” he claimed in excitement, which quickly shut them all up.

There were congratulations and pats on the back after that.

Buffy pulled Spike aside once everyone was finished eating and went to do their separate things, moaning about how they would never be able to eat again.

“I want something sweet,” Connor said.

Dawn rolled her eyes. “How can you still be hungry? Why do boys eat so much?”

Connor grinned. “Why do girls eat so little?” he replied and started to tickle her, knowing that was her weakness.

Dawn laughed and tried to shove him away. “Stop, I’m gonna throw up.”

He hurriedly pulled away from her before that could happen.

Buffy watched them with interest, then got back to the conversation she was having with Spike. “Are you sure we can handle another one?”

Spike wrapped his arms around her, placing a soft kiss to her lips. “I think we can handle anything together. You’ve given me so much, Buffy. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I love you.”

She felt her eyes tear up, even though she was used to his declarations by now. “I love you, too.”

He held her tighter and pressed his lips to her hair.

Buffy rested her head against his chest. She really couldn’t ask for a more perfect life. She had the most amazing husband, two wonderful children, and a baby on the way. Yeah, life really couldn’t get any better than that.

The End