This is an idea from the Idea Factory on Spuffyfantasy.com.
The idea was written:
By Lauren.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy,
and who ever else own BtVS. Please don't sue me.
***************************************************************************

{September 1995)
Buffy was striding home from Willow's house when she crashed straight into something. She groaned as she lay there, sprawled across the grainy, cool sidewalk, lying completely still in a combination of surprise and momentary pain. Just as she resolved to suck it up and to stand up on her own, a shadow leaned over her and an outstretched hand appeared. As she struggled to her feet, she looked at the hand currently gripping hers with a gentle strength, and slowly looked into the owner, or the shadow. What she saw took what breath she had left away. In front of her stood a guy with a mop of dirty blond curls atop his head. He had chiseled cheek bones, and glasses propped on his nose. But what stood out more then anything elsewere his blue eyes. She watched him quickly drop her hand and cast his gaze to his shoes. His glasses slid to the tip of his nose and she couldn't help thinking he looked like a lost little boy. As she stepped forward to thank him and apologize for running into him she stepped on a book. That's when she realized her surroundings. She was standing next to a U-haul truck in front of the old Peterson place.

“I'm so sorry, I was in a hurry-wasn't watching where I was going. Here, I'll help you with this stuff.” Flashing him an apologetic smile, she bent down gracefully and quickly picked up the books and tablets that had fallen out of the box when it hit the ground. When she stood back up her companion was still raptly eyeing his shoes. “I think I got it all. I hope I didn't ruin anything in there.” She smiled again, cocking her head to the side as he merely looked at her for a moment before his eyes quickly flitted away. Little did he know, Buffy Summers was raised with enough social grace to put others at ease; She shrugged in the direction of the massive house, “Are you moving in here?”

He quickly took the box and only gave her a slight nod before scurrying into the house. As she watched the front door close she couldn't help the slight smile that crossed her face. She
couldn't wait to get home and call Willow about this whole incident. She just wished she could have gotten his name before he ran off.

******************************
William stood on the inside of the door breathing deeply, clutching at his box of poetry. He couldn't believe that had just happened. Not only had he acted mute but he had done it in
front of a pretty girl. He just wanted to curl up and die after that embarrassing encounter- what she must think of him

“How could you be such a pillock William?” He muttered as he ascended the worn stairs. He continued to berate himself as he unpacked. He hadn't wanted to move here, and he hated his stepfather for forcing the issue. If he had taken the time to analyze his feelings, though, he would have realized that he had hated his stepfather long before the impromptu move. Rupert Giles had been in his life for five years now. William had thought his mother's boyfriend was a nice fellow at first. Soon after they began dating, his mother found out that she had cancer. He had put up with Giles to make his mother happy, but the relationship between the two men was stretched taut. Two years ago she went into remission and yet another bombshell dropped. Rupert and Jenny were getting married and the sooner the better. William hadn't known what to say. In fact, he thought it was all a joke until he had heard his mother say “I do.” He couldn't stand seeing them together. He had locked himself in his room most of the time. Maybe he had been selfish, now that he looked back on it. Then he remembered the last straw that had brought him to be in Sunnydale, California. Three months ago, Giles had been taking his mother out on a date. Giles was driving through an intersection when out of nowhere a drunk driver came barreling straight into his mothers side of the car. So here he stood in a strange room, in a strange town. Maybe it wasn't all Giles fault but William didn't feel like he wanted to admit that yet. He wanted to be angry and Giles was his target. It didn't help either that Giles somewhat blamed himself anyway. It just made it easier for William to believe he was right to be angry with the man. Just then William was broken out of his hate mantra by a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” spat William angrily.

“Eep It's just me William.” Ah, the one and only reason why he didn't just give up.

“Yeah, come on in.” He smiled as he watched his younger sister bounce in. She was only thirteen but she had the wisdom of a woman twice that age. He guessed she got that from their mother. Tara was a sweetie and she loved everybody. She was small for her age, but William could tell already she would grow into a beautiful woman. Oh, and he'd make sure he was there to scare off any guy that came near her. She was one of the few things that could make him smile since his mother had died.

“Dinner is ready, you coming down?”

“No,” he said assertively. Tara just raised her eyebrows, a tactic familiar to him, “Stop looking at me like that I don't feel like eating.”

Tara gave him a glare and spoke steadily. “You will not sit up here and sulk all night. I expect you at dinner...understood?” She started to turn to leave but instead looked back at him and finished her demand. “Oh, that was an order in case you misinterpreted it as a question.”



William just stared after her. Tara's increased backbone surprised him more every day. When he came to his senses, he replied. “Bossy chit.”

“You betcha William, and you know you wouldn't have it any other way.”

William just shook his head and reasoned with himself that he wouldn't win this fight. Then he chuckled when he realized he had just let a tween boss him into eating dinner. What was the world coming to?

*************************************************


Buffy sat at the table as she listened to her older sister, Faith, drone on about her day. The only thing Buffy could think about was the new guy. She had realized thinking back to him that most would just write him off as another shy nerd. But she had seen something in his eyes...only a flicker, before they had filled with sadness. She knew there was more to him. And she was going to find out what it was about him that caused her stomach to do that yummy little flip-flop.

“Buffy, sweetie you ok? You've hardly touched your dinner.”

“Yeah, mom... I'm fine, just thinking.”

“Don't strain yourself,” came a snarky reply from her sister as she laughed. Faith got up from the table. “I'm going to the Bronze with a couple friends. I'll be home later.”

“Can I come to?” Buffy asked enthusiastically.

“No, I'm going with friends. Don't need you tagging.”

Joyce spoke up before it could turn into a full-fledge fight. “Maybe this weekend, Buffy, but you have school tomorrow.”

Buffy knew she had lost so she just got up from the table and went to her room. She hated how Faith always got what she wanted. Even when dad had been around it was Faith he paid attention to. Buffy had always been the invisible child to her father. She just wondered

when she would be noticed. She stood in front of her full length mirror and looked critically at herself. Her straight brown hair fell just below her shoulders and hazel eyes shone back at her.
She just couldn't figure out why everyone ignored her. She took one last look at herself and slammed the door closed on her closet. Joyce had heard and poked her head into her youngest daughters room.

“What's wrong? At dinner you were somewhere else and now you’re slamming doors. You wanna talk?”

“Not really. Mom, why doesn't anyone notice me?” Like any normal teen she had denied wanting to talk and then opened up anyway.

“Sweet heart, what do you mean?”

“Well, Dad never noticed me, and neither does Faith. I just wonder why sometimes?”

“Oh honey, your father was always busy, you know that. As for Faith, she's just going through a phase. She'll grow out of it, you'll see.”

Buffy gave her mom an incredulous look and decided just to drop the subject. “Whatever, if Faith grows out of this phase it will snow here in good ol’ Sunnydale.”

Joyce just shook her head at her daughter and kissed her goodnight.

*********************************************


(June 1999)
Buffy stood on the front porch of her home juggling mail, book bag, purse, and still trying to get the key in the door. This had been the week from hell and she never wanted to see another like it. Early in the week her car had broke down, the mechanic said it would be seven hundred dollars to fix. Which meant she wouldn't have a car till next Wednesday when the Double Meat Palace paid her. She would have asked Willow to pick her up but she was away visiting a college campus. Things just couldn't get worse, or maybe they could. She had just stuck the key in the door and realized it was already unlocked. Everyone knew to lock the door, not even Faith during one of her highs had ever forgotten to lock it. Buffy dropped her stuff by the door and grabbed her stun gun from her purse. She slowly crept through the door and kept her senses open. Trying to pick up on who was there and where. She came around the doorway

into the living room and her arm was grabbed by someone. Next thing she knew the person had twisted her body away and her arm was pinned behind her. She was about to scream when she heard
a familiar voice come from behind her.

“I wouldn't do that, pet.”

Instead of screaming she squealed and launched herself at the person behind her when she was let go. “William When did you get back? What are you doing here? How did you get
here? How long are you staying? Please, please, please say you're staying a while ”

“Well, I see some things still stay the same.”

“What are you talking about? And you're not answering my questions.”

“I'm talking 'bout your babbling. As for the answers, let's see if I'm still good at this... I got back today, I came for your graduation, by plane, probably a week or two, and finally yes, I'm staying a little while. Did I pass?”

“With flying colors.” Buffy squealed again. She was so glad that William had come home to see her graduate. As she stared into his eyes she was suddenly stuck in freeze frame. Her stomach started.. flippity, flop... and she quickly jumped back a step or so from him. She couldn't let her body start that again. She had been so excited to have him back she hadn't thought through her actions. She had sworn to herself after he had started dating Faith that she would keep her feelings hidden. She and Faith had slowly grew closer over the years and she didn't want to hurt that relationship. She also didn't want to jeopardize her friendship with William. Now as she thought about it she felt that black shadow creeping over her again. She realized once again that no matter how bad this week had been nothing compared to the worst day of her life, a little over three years ago.

*Flashback*(December 1996)

The Winter formal was coming up at the end of the week. Buffy had been holding out for William, but Friday had seen to the end of that. When he had moved into town last year he had become friends with Xander. She and Willow had had many a gigglefest over Buffy's crush
on him. Buffy had been laying hints while in William's presence that she would have like to go to the dance. So when she had opened the door on Friday to see him standing there she had
jumped to the conclusion he was there to ask her. Then he had burst her bubble by asking her if Faith was there. Her smile had immediately disappeared, and she had gone and gotten Faith from her room. She had eavesdropped on the whole conversation. It had been like someone had stuck a knife in her gut and just. Kept. Twisting. When her sister had said yes, Buffy knew that was
the end of her dreams. She had run upstairs and had cried herself to sleep.

She woke up Saturday morning bound and determined to go on with her life. She was heartbroken but she figured she’d get over it. She had to William had made his choice and once again her sister had been seen, when she had not. She had decided she was going to make some changes. She was sick of being ignored and it was going to end. She had gone to the bank and took out all her babysitting savings. There hadn't been much but she would get what she could. She had then got her mom to drop her off at the mall. Her first stop had been to the hair salon. Then she had gone shopping for clothes and shoes. By the end of the day she had used up her whole savings and her allowance from that week. When her mom had pulled up Buffy knew her mother wasn't happy.

Joyce just stared at who she thought was her daughter. She wasn't sure if it was Buffy at first but then she saw the vibrant hazel eyes and knew that it was indeed Buffy. She wasn't sure
what had driven her daughter to do it, but her once straight chestnut brown hair was now curly blond. She couldn't deny that her daughter looked gorgeous, but she had always thought that. Joyce took one more close look at her daughter and realized she must have given a good glare at one point as her daughter stood outside the car fidgeting. Joyce popped the trunk so Buffy could stow her bags. Buffy came to the front of the car then and hopped in. Joyce wasn't sure how she should handle this. She finally just broke the silence.

“Buffy, what is this all about?”

“I wanted a change, mom. Please don't be angry. I know I probably should have said something to you but I wanted to do this.” Buffy's face was looking hopefully at her mother. Joyce realized she couldn't say much about it either. Her daughter was growing up and making
some of her own choices.

“I do wish you would have talked to me about it, or at least asked my opinion. It is your decision, though, so I don't have much say.”

Buffy squealed and wrapped her mother in a hug. “Thank you for not being angry mom.”

“Your welcome. Oh and by the way...I think it looks good.” Joyce couldn't help the smile that spread over her face. She knew it sounded almost cliche, but she could swear her daughter had gone into the mall that day a child and came out a woman.

Now as Buffy stood in front of her mirror primping she couldn't stop smiling. She was very happy with the change, and even Faith had complimented her about it. She had ran the brush through her hair one more time and left for school. When she arrived Willow had squealed and told her how good it looked. Buffy had noticed a few people's admiration, and she felt like she was on cloud nine. She had gotten to her locker at the end of the day and found someone leaning against it. When she looked closer she realized it was Parker. He was one of
the cutest guys in her grade and pre-William, he had been her crush. Buffy walked the rest of the way to her locker. Parker turned and gave one of his bright smiles and Buffy almost turned into a puddle right there.

“Hey Parker, can I help you with something?”


“Yeah, I was wondering do you have a date for the formal?”

“No, I don't.”

“Well, would you like to go with me?”

Buffy wanted to squeal but she held it in and simply answered, “I'd love to.” Someone had finally noticed her and she couldn't have been more happier.

*End Flashback*

Now as she stood in front of William she realized no matter how hard she tried she would never stop loving him. She also knew he'd never see her as more then his friend.


A/N: Hi this is my first Buffy Fanfiction, so if you could review I’d appreciate it. Even if you hate it let me know why. I also wanna send thanks to my beta Lana she’s great.

This is an idea from the Idea Factory on
Spuffyfantasy.com.
The idea was written:
By Lauren.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and who ever else own BtVS. Please don't sue me.
***************************************************************************

Buffy was only lost for a few minutes. She quickly came to as she felt William’s hands caressing the underside of her breast. She would have loved to lay here and finish this, but she didn’t want it to be like that. Right now he was still in so much pain from Faith’s betrayal. She had to be the level headed one here. He was drunk and broken hearted. She pushed him away.

“William, we can’t do this. Not now. You're hurting and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us if one of us regretted this in the morning.” She could see that he had a moment of clarity, because he quickly backed away from her.

“Oh, Buffy. I’m so sorry.” She saw the pain in his eyes. She knew that he had loved Faith. No matter how hard she tried, her sister still had been first.

“William let’s get you into bed and we can talk about this in the morning. Ok?”

“Yeah, you're right. Then I’ll be sober and we can talk.”

“Yeah, we can talk then.” Buffy felt like an idiot but she didn’t know what else to say. The room's tension seemed to have tripled. She was self conscience of what to say now. She so wanted to throw her morals out the window at this moment, but she didn’t. “Night William.” With that she left.

“Yeah, night.”

*************************************************************************

William sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes after she left. He couldn’t believe what he had almost done. Yes, he could- he was drunk. He didn’t know how he would face her in the morning. Now all the thoughts from earlier in the day were back in the forefront of his mind. He had tried to banish them but they hadn’t gone. Even the whole Faith thing hadn’t hurt as much as it should have. He was more hurt by the fact that he had allowed himself to be trampled on all over again. William realized he was slowly starting to sober up again. He wasn’t sure if that was good or not. As he replayed what had happened moments before with Buffy he realized something. He hadn’t kissed her for comfort but because he had wanted to. He had wanted to, since earlier that day standing in the kitchen. He was also hit with the fact that when morning came he would try to explain that to Buffy. Faith had used him, but he was beginning to wonder if that had been for the better.

***************************************************************************

The next morning was gray and dreary. The skies where overcast and a chill filled the air. You could just tell that no good could come out of a day like this as the residents in the Summers house slept through dawn. Across town there was a startling discovery. Mrs. Johnson walked out of her house to take her dog for a walk. As she hit an alley that went past the back of her house, she turned down it. Normally she would walk past but today her arthritis was acting up. She walked about five feet before she noticed the shadowed heap on the ground. She would have ignored it as trash if Sam, her little black terrier, wouldn’t have started barking at it.

“Sam, come on, leave the trash alone.”

“Ruff, ruff, grrrrrl, ruff.”

“I’m not in the mood for this I want to get home and watch 'Fox and Friends'.” She finally gave up and started winding the leash around her arm. Once she was close enough she bent down and scooped Sam into her arm. As she slowly stood back up she realized what the heap was.

“Oh, my...” She could see that it was a person, covered up in a blanket, hunched over. She moved to stand beside whoever it was and shook their shoulder. “Excuse me Sir, Miss? Are you awake?” She tried several more times to no avail. Now she was getting worried. She finally just pulled the blanket off the person. She let out an ear piercing scream. Laying there under the blanket was a young women in her early twenties. She looked like she was peacefully sleeping. Mrs. Johnson knew better though, the women was to pale to be asleep. There was also too much blood pooled around the body. Mrs. Johnson hurried back to her house and called the police. She explained to them what she had found and they promised to be right out. After hanging the phone up she sat back into her rocker. She knew the police would want to talk to her, so she waited. But while she sat there waiting she sent a prayer to the heavens that the young women’s soul would find peace.

*************************************************************************

As Joyce Summer’s drove home she had an ominous feeling about the day. Earlier that morning she had awoken and felt something was wrong. She had pushed it away, knowing that if there were any problems someone would have called her. They all knew where she was and had the number. Now as she got closer to home she could feel dread pushing down on her. Something was wrong and she knew it, she just prayed that her girls where alright. She was thirty minutes from home, so what ever it was she would soon have to face it. Suddenly her cell rang, she smiled when she caught sight of the name on the caller ID.

“Hey, sweetie, how are you?”

“Fine, except that I woke up in bed alone.”

“I know .I should have told you, but you looked so peaceful. Anyway, I just can’t get that
nagging feeling to go away. I’m afraid something is wrong.”

“Now, Joyce, come on, you know they would have called had something drastic happened.”

“I know, that’s what I would think too, but I trust my gut on this one. Something is wrong. I know it.”

“It’s alright. I understand. Had it been me with the gut feeling I’d probably do the same thing. Anyway what time do you want me to stop by today?”

“Anytime after you get back. You know, we are going to have to face our kids sometime? When do you think we should break the news?”

“I think this weekend will be a good time. If they haven’t figured something out already.” Joyce could hear Giles on the other side of the phone laughing.

“Yeah I know. Well, I’m driving into Sunnydale now so I’ll talk to you when you get back in town.”

“Oh okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Joyce hung up after that. She knew that they had to tell their perspective children about them dating. She knew that, but she had rather grown to like their trysts these last few months. Now was time to tell them though, especially now that William was finally home. Even though she wasn’t supposed to know. She had pulled it out of Rupert the other night. She pulled up out side the house and parked in the driveway. Home Sweet Home.

************************************************************************

Meanwhil,e during Joyce’s conversation with Giles, William stood in her kitchen whisking eggs. Just then Buffy walked in, her hair was tousled from sleep, and you could tell she hadn’t had her morning cup of coffee yet. He realized once again how beautiful she was.

“What are you staring at dough boy?”

“First coffee, then you can talk before you say something you’ll regret.”

Buffy humphed but did as he had said. After drinking down half the mug she sat down at the island. William wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of what had happened the night before. He knew he wanted to tell her about how he thought he felt about her. He also knew she might not feel the same. But after last night he had a feeling she did.

“Buffy...”

“William...” They both said in unison.

Buffy pointed to William to go first and he accepted. “Listen I know last night looks like a mistake. I don’t believe it was though. I realize I shouldn’t have gone about it the way I did last night. But I’m not sorry that we kissed. I’d like to see if this could lead some where, because I know I love you. Now I want to find out if I can fall in love with you.” William finished gasping in a breath of air. He had said it all in one breath.

Buffy just sat there starring at him. At first he wondered if she had gone into shock. Then he saw a smile break across her face, but it quickly turned into a grimace.

“How dare you use me as a rebound I will not let you use me to get back at my sister. Is that understood?” After her out burst she stomped out of the kitchen. William just stared at the stool that she had been sitting on. Once it registered, he ran after her. He caught up to her at the bottom of the steps. He grabbed her elbow and twirled her to face him.

“Buffy Summers, if you believe that I would use you as revenge against your sister then I know you’re senile.” William watched as her eyes filled with rage, and he realized he had made a mistake in that last sentence. Next thing he knew he was on his butt with blood trailing down his lip from his nose. He watched as the rage slipped off Buffy’s face to be taken over by horror at what she had done. She ran back to the kitchen as William tried to stand up. Once he was sitting on one of the steps, Buffy reappeared with a towel in hand.

“Oh, William I’m so sorry. Please forgive me I didn’t mean to but you had me so pissed off. I just don’t want to be used and that’s what I had assumed you where looking to me for. As a rebound girl.”

“No that’s not what I’m looking for, I want to truly try this.”

“How can you be so sure that this isn’t just a rebound? I mean you loved Faith for two and a half years. Of course you would be hurt. So you would be looking for a rebound. It’s only natural.” William figured Buffy knew she had babbled but he decided not to say anything. She had said what she had to.

“There is only one problem with that statement luv.” Buffy looked at him quizzically. “I didn’t love her.” William watched as Buffy backed up to the wall where the coat rack sat. She left her body slide down until she was in a sitting position. He could see the shock that statement had had on her.

“What do you mean you never loved her?”

“Mean just that. I figured it out last night while I talked to Lorne. I hadn’t loved her. It was just a safe relationship, or so I’d thought. I was more hurt by the fact that I had let myself get used again. But really in the end we had used each other. Neither of us loved the other one, we’d just been in a holding pattern since I left two years ago. Neither of us breaking it off, too afraid how the other would take it, or at least that was my problem.” William stood up from the steps. His nose had stopped bleeding, and he knew it wasn’t broken. He had already checked that out.
He walked over to her and grabbed her elbow once again. He lifted her to a standing position, and lifted her head so he was looking her in the eyes. “I want to try this, please say we can?” William watched as Buffy nodded her head. He could see it in her eyes that she meant it. He whooped and grabbed her round the waist and twirled them both around. When he sat her back down he lifted her chin and caught her lips in a kiss. He pushed her against the wall and braced his weight with his arms, as the kiss became passionate. They never heard the door open. They didn’t know anybody was there till they heard the person say.

“WILLIAM LEROY CALENDER, WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING????? ”

A/N: Hey everyone. Just wanted to thank my beta who keeps doing a wonderful job. I also want to thank all of you that have left reviews. They keep me going. Anyway keep your eyes open for the next chapter.

This is an idea from the Idea Factory on Spuffyfantasy.com.
The idea was written:
By Lauren.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and who ever else own BtVS. Please don't sue me.

**************************************************
William watched as Buffy took a step back. He could not figure out why she would be distancing herself from him. He was about ask her why when she just turned on her heel and walked to the kitchen. He stood there for a bit trying suss out what was wrong. Finally he just gave up and decided to just ask her why she had jumped away from him. When he got to the kitchen though he stood shocked. He hadn’t really taken a good of a look at her in the foyer. Now as the sun gleamed upon her petite figure from the window he noticed the changes in her. Her hair was incandescent, almost pure gold.. He also realized her figure had filled out while he was gone. He couldn’t help but stare at her as she flitted around looking for something. He had always thought she was pretty from the first day that he’d met her, but he had never seen her like this. He couldn’t pinpoint why he was all of a sudden seeing her as a woman instead of a little girl. He wondered why he had ever even thought of her as a little girl. She was only two years younger then him. He watched as she pouted her lower lip out, looking for whatever. William found himself wondering what those lips would taste like. He just wanted to pull her to him and... He was quickly knocked out of his dream world as he realized with a start she was standing right in front of him.

“Huh? What did you say?” he asked, realizing she had spoken.

“I said that I’m sure you don’t want to hang around me all day... especially with the fact you have a girlfriend to surprise with your homecoming.”

William felt like he had been hit in the gut. He had totally forgotten about Faith for a minute. He wanted to hit his head against a wall. He had just been thinking ‘bout kissing one sister while dating another. He felt like such a git. He and Faith had been going out for two and a half years now. Yeah, it hadn’t been all the greatest, especially in the last year. Still though, he loved her, didn’t he? It was too much at the moment. Buffy was right- he should go find Faith, and forget everything that had been going through his mind about Buffy. It had all been a fluke nothing more.

“Yeah I would like to see her. How has she been anyway?” He knew last time he had been back Faith had been having some problems. She had gotten involved with a tough crowd since he’d left for England to go to college. She hadn’t only gotten into the crowd, though, she had gotten into drugs, too. That was another reason why he would push the sudden feelings for Buffy that had risen in him away. Faith didn’t need him ditching her for her sister. First, it was wrong, and second, it would probably send her right back to the drugs.

“She’s been doing well, from what we can tell. She hasn’t been coming home high anyway. It also seems her grades are coming up. Mom takes that as a good sign. Me, I’m not to sure, I think she is hiding something, but so far I can’t figure out what. Let’s put it this way... if she is back into drugs, mom will be heartbroken. So I’m hoping it’s just my imagination.” William just shook his head, understanding where she was coming from.

“Well where can I find her?”

“Oh she has a new apartment down there on Oak. She has been getting help from one of her teachers lately. I think that’s over at four, though. If you do get to her place and she’s not home... here.”

She handed him a key to Faith’s apartment. William gave his thanks for the information and quickly left. He knew he was going to have to forget these feelings or else a lot of people would be hurt in the process.

*******************************************

William had decided to surprise Faith with a little more then just himself. He had stopped by the flower shop and bought a dozen red roses. He had also bought a balloon that said “surprise” across it. He found himself in front of the apartment complex. He had buzzed a few times but had gotten no answer. He decided instead of waiting out front he’d go in. He opened the front door with the key that Buffy had given him. He walked in and immediately was in the living room.

Faith hadn’t done much with the place yet, but William figured she had probably just moved in not long ago. He found the kitchen to the left of the living room. He decided he’d put the flowers in water. He searched the cabinets for a vase and couldn’t find any. Then he remembered that she normally kept flowers on her night stand. He looked around the apartment again and realized there was a hall off the right of the kitchen. The first door he came to led into the bathroom. There where only two other doors in the hallway. He was about to open the next door when he heard a noise behind the last door. As he got closer he thought he recognized Faith’s voice. He got a big smile and threw open the door.

“SURPRISE ” William greeted

“Oh Shit ” Said a black man.

William had been the one to get the surprise. There on the bed lay a black man with Faith straddling him. William just stood shocked in the doorway looking back and forth between the two people. Faith just turned her head gave William a big smile and said.

“Wanna join? I’m sure there’s enough room for you, too.”

William ran out of the apartment and never looked back. As he got outside he bent down by a bush and lost his stomach. He had never seen this coming. Yeah, they had their problems, but he never thought she’d cheat on him. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the nausea. All he kept seeing though was Faith turning around and smiling like she thought he would actually accept to join them. He had to get out of there, so he hopped in his rental and sped out of the parking lot.*************************

Faith was walking towards downtown. After the day she had, had she knew what she needed. She contemplated over the different things that had happened that day. She couldn’t believe William had shown up, and how had he gotten in anyway? She had planned on breaking up with him. It just hadn’t been working out, he was just too proper. She wanted to be able to take what she wanted and then drop the guy without him clinging round. That just wasn’t William, and she had known that. It was probably better that he found out this way instead of her just breaking up with him. Just then William’s face from earlier floated into her mind. She started to feel bad for him, and that just wouldn’t do. She wanted to not care, she just wanted the world to disappear. That was where she was headed, to make the world evaporate away if only for a little while. She came up on the small apartment building, and buzzed the apartment for Riley’s place. She knew that he would have some of the good stuff. Also, when it came to Riley, you didn’t have to pay with money if you were of the female persuasion.

“Yeah, who’s there?”

“Hey, it’s Faith. Wondering if you had time for company?”

“I don’t know, is this social or business?”

“Let’s say it’s more of the playful business.” A buzz was heard and then Faith opened the door to the apartment complex. When she reached his door, it was already opened. She stood there a moment until Riley spoke up in a husky voice.

“You coming?”

“Not yet but I better be soon.” Faith chuckled the answer. Faith walked through the door and Riley closed it after her. Faith would get what she wanted that night and more. Just some of it ...she wouldn’t want at all.

*******************************************************

William sat in a bar in L.A., whose owner and bartender was a guy named Lorne. You could always count on Lorne knowing the latest gossip. William hadn’t come for gossip tonight, though.

“Hey Lorne, whiskey and keep it coming. I wanna be pissed before I leave tonight.”

“William what the hell happened to you? You look like you did when Dru cheated on you.”

“Pretty much same scenario just a different chit.”

Lorne just shook his head and stared at the man in front of him. As he watched William he realized that it had been years since this same man, a boy then, had walked in here trying to pull the wool over his eyes. It had been six years since that fall out.

*Flashback*

Lorne was watching the bar and had just seen a kid walk up to the bar. Lorne could tell the kid was having problems. Lorne seemed to almost be able to read people, and if he was reading right this kid could use someone to talk to. He flagged Gunn over from his break.

“Hey we got a minor at the bar, take over here. Oh and bring two cokes to my office when you get a lull.”

Gunn nodded his head and started working. Lorne walked up behind a kid that couldn’t have been more then fourteen or fifteen. He tapped him on the shoulder.

The kid turned around and looked at Lorne. “Hey kid, come on you don’t belong here...let's get you in the back.”

The kid’s eyes got as big as saucers, but replied. “I’m no kid.”

Lorne just shook his head. “Hey, come on, don’t make me call the cops. Come on back to my office and let's chat. I might just forget about this whole thing.”

William nodded his head and followed after the man. When they got to the office, Lorne pointed to a leather chair in front of the desk. William sat in it and ducked his head.

“So what’s the story kid? You don’t look like you tried this before so what made you try tonight?”
Before he could answer there was a knock on the door and Gunn walked in with the two cokes. He sat the one on the desk and handed the other to Lorne. Gunn left right away to get back to the bar.
“So you going to answer me, or do I have to make you sing?”

“How would singing make me talk?”

“It’s called The Greatest Hits of Manilow on repeat ‘til you answer my questions.”

William chuckled at that and threw back, “Oh, that is torture. Fine...I’ll answer your questions. It was because of a girl.”
*End Flashback*

William had sat there for the next hour and told how he had found his girl Dru cheating on him with some guy. It seemed that when William didn’t go all the way she decided to find it some where else. Lorne had become sort of sounding board for William from that night on. Now William once again sat in front of him because of some girl. This time though he didn’t have the excuse of age to stop William from drinking.

“Come on William, you know that won’t help.”

“Lorne, don’t start. Either you serve me or I will go someplace else. At least if I’m here you can watch me, right?”

Lorne nodded and started pouring the whiskey for him. Four hours later when the whole story about this Faith girl was out on the table, Lorne cut off the alcohol.

“William where you staying?”

“In Sunnydale with some friends, since Giles and Tara are out of town.”

“You want me to drive you back there?”

“That'd be great, but how will you get back?”

“I can get a cab back here no problem.” Lorne got William in his coat and in the car. As they hit Sunnydale’s town limits, Lorne woke William up and asked the address for where he was staying.
“1630 Revello Drive two blocks from Gile’s place.”

Lorne shook his head to acknowledge he could find it. He parked in front of the house and went around to help William to the door. They hadn’t even made it to the porch before a short blond came running out. Lorne remembered seeing William flash pictures of her when he’d come to visit. He realized though that no picture would ever do her justice.

“William what happened?” Buffy gave Lorne a disapproving look.

William was out of it so Lorne answered. “He got a little drunk because of a girl? Someone named Faith.” Lorne notice Buffy take a double take at the name but she continued to help William in the house. Once William was laying on the couch though Buffy started asking questions.
“Did you say Faith?”

“Yeah she pretty much pulled a Dru on the poor guy.”

Buffy was seething. If she got her hands on her sister she was going to kill her for doing this to William. They may have grown closer together, but if she had cheated on him that was going to be a rift in that relationship.

“You look familiar...Oh wait, you're that Lorne guy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, the one and only. You're Buffy right?”

“Yeah. William told me a lot about you. He said something about you knowing how to torture really well.”

Lorne let out a laugh and smiled down on the blond. “Well, I have my ways, I guess. Anyway, I have to get back to L.A. Can you take care of him?”

Buffy nodded her head yes and called him a cab. Within thirty minutes Lorne was gone and Buffy was trying to move William up to the guest room. She finally got there and flopped him on the bed. She took his shoes off and started to unbutton his blue shirt. When she looked back at his face his eyes were open and staring into her own. She was frozen in that moment and she watched as William slowly inched towards her lips. Next thing she knew they where in a passionate kiss and she didn’t want it to end. She was the first to break free, because she needed to breathe. As she stared at him, she could see his blue eyes growing darker from lust, she knew this wasn’t good. He was hurt and she had been hiding too many feelings for him. She told herself to just get up, walk out... but she couldn’t.

“William we can’t.”

“Yes, we can. Thanks to your sister, I’m free and I love you.”

Buffy sat shell shocked in front of him. Did he mean that or was it just the talk of a drunk man. Before she could figure it out he was kissing her and she was lost. She had one more thought, that this wasn’t right, before her mind went completely blank.


A/N: I want to thank Lana my beta she does a terrific job. This story would probably be boring if I didn’t have her. Also I want to thank Clockstopper for reviewing. I want to apologize for the length of time between updates I had computer problems. Hope to have the next chapter out within the week.

Joyce now sat in the kitchen at the island. William and Buffy had explained to her what had been going on. She couldn’t believe after everything Faith knew about William that she had cheated on him. Joyce just wasn’t sure about her daughter anymore. Oh, she loved her- nothing could ever change that- but she also knew that sometimes love wasn’t enough. She wondered whether she had somehow done something wrong in raising Faith. Joyce knew that once again her daughter had been using. She hadn’t said anything to Buffy yet. She had found out two weeks back. Faith had shown up on the doorstep high again. Buffy had been over at Willow’s and Joyce had been glad for that. She knew that she couldn’t have done what she had if Buffy’d been there.

*Flashback*

“Faith, what are you doing here so late?”

“Hey mom, can I come in?”

Joyce just stood there, staring at her daughter; she could tell that Faith was high again. She knew what she had to do, because Faith had left her no choice. “No Faith, I will not let you in the house. I told you last time you went clean if you ever showed up here again high, that you wouldn’t be allowed in. I meant it then and I’m enforcing it now.”

Faith had continued to stare at her for several minutes, not understanding. Then all of a sudden Joyce saw that it had clicked. Faith automatically went on the defensive. “What? How can you not let me in? Please, mom, I need someplace to sleep. Please, please, please.” Faith started crying in earnest then. “Mommy, I need your help... please let me in?”

Joyce’s heart broke as she watched her daughter. She didn’t want to have to do this, but she knew she had to. “Faith, I love you and I always will, but I can’t help you. You have to want this yourself, I’m sorry. I will take you back to your apartment, okay?”

The expression on Faith’s face went from pleading to anger. “Forget it ” she screamed. “I don’t need your help anyway. I can get back to my apartment on my own, thank you. I just thought you loved me, but I guess I was wrong. You know, I hate you. I bet if this was precious little Buffy you wouldn’t turn her away. Oh no, couldn’t hurt poor Buffy, Buffy must be protected at all cost. Does she even know, have you even thought about telling her, that she isn’t actually your daughter?”

At that, the look on Joyce’s face became one of shock. “What are you talking about Faith, you really have lost it this time haven’t you?” Joyce could hear the venom in her voice but she didn’t care at this moment. Faith was right; she had protected Buffy all these years, but she couldn’t let on to that.

“Oh what, mom, didn’t think I remembered about Buffy, did ya? I’ve known for years, but it never mattered then. I knew daddy loved me, I knew she wasn’t even on his radar screen. She was the mistake that he had wanted to disappear; instead he faced it everyday. That’s why he left. I know it and so do you. You probably knew that when you brought her into our home. You knew that dad would get fed up seeing his little bastard child so he’d leave. Well, I’m sick and tired of pretending. How can you love someone else’s child more than your own?”

Joyce knew then that all of her promises to give Buffy a happy normal life had probably flown out the window. She had tried so hard to keep her promise and now most likely her jealous daughter would break it. “Faith, I don’t love her more, and if Buffy showed up like you are now I probably wouldn’t let her in either. I love you but I can’t watch you throw your life away like this. You are my flesh and blood and nothing could ever change that, but I also love Buffy. Maybe you can’t understand that, but I do. I’m sorry it had to come to this, but if you want to come back in the morning when you're not high we can talk then. Now, do you need me to drive you to your apartment?”

“No, I don’t, thank you very much.” Faith said snidely. “Oh, and tell the precious I said ‘hi’.”

*End Flashback*

Faith had walked away then, and Joyce hadn’t heard anything from her since. She had figured that Faith would go straight to Buffy and tell her the truth, but after three days had gone by with no questions from Buffy, she had deemed it safe for now. Joyce knew she would have to tell Buffy sooner or later. She just didn’t know how. How do you tell your daughter that she isn’t really your daughter? Joyce was brought back from her contemplative state by Buffy’s waving hand.

“You didn’t go catatonic on me there, did you?” Buffy giggled at her own joke then continued. “Listen mom, I know this is surprising news about me and William, but I love him. I’ve loved him for years, but I was resigned to the fact that he’d never love me. As for the Faith thing-- I love her I really do-- but she is the one that lost out. I doubt she will like this but I’m not sacrificing my happiness for her. I hope you can be happy for us?”

Joyce looked into Buffy’s eyes and could tell that she really wanted this, and that she was truly happy about it. “I’m not saying I like this, but I’m happy for you. I would think it appropriate though if you went and explained it to Faith. Don’t let her find it out from a third party, okay?”

“Sure mom.” Buffy went to leave then.

“Buffy, wait we need to talk. I have something I need to tell you.” Joyce knew she had to tell her now or she might never get to.

Buffy turned around and started to say something when there was a knock at the front door.

*******************************************************

William stood in the doorway which led from the kitchen onto the back porch. Tara sat on the swing, softly humming. He listened to her sweet voice as it hummed to their mother’s favorite song. When she had finished, she turned her head and smiled at him.

“Are you going to stand there all day William, or does your little sister get a hug?”

“I’ll give you one better.” William scooped Tara up into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. He took a step back and just looked at her. Then he hugged her again.

“So how have you been?”

William then proceeded to tell her what had happened the day before when he had arrived. She just sat there and took it all in; then she slapped him.

“Hey, what was that for?”

“Being a dumb butt and drinking. You know how I don’t like that.”

“Well I sorta hoped you missed that part.” William said with a chuckle.

“Well I didn’t miss it and I still think it was a stupid thing to do. Oh, and I will be talking to Lorne when I see him next; he should know better.” Then a wry smile crossed Tara’s face. “Oh and also... I.told.you.so ” She then got up and walked back inside, leaving William wondering what she was getting at. He walked into the kitchen where she was standing at the sink.

“Hey, what do ya mean told me so?”

“Think back to the first week we moved in here. What did I....” Tara trailed off when the phone rang. William picked up the phone and heard Xander’s voice.

“Hey buddy what’s up... you still pining over Cordy?”

“First of all, no, I’m not- but this isn’t a social call. It’s business.”

William felt his stomach drop. If this was business it couldn’t be good. “What do you mean business? Xander, has something happened to Giles?” Although Giles and William still disagreed on a lot of things, William had grown to look at him as a father now. However, he still refused to call him that.

“Nothing is wrong with the G-man. But I think you should get over to Buffy’s ASAP. I can’t tell you what’s going on but you need to be there.”

“Ok, we’ll be there.” William hung the phone up and told Tara to get her coat they were leaving.
*******************************************************

While William talked with Tara, Buffy sat in the kitchen waiting for her mom, who had gone to answer the door. She wondered what her mom had wanted to talk about. Before she could put anymore thought to it, she heard her mom calling her.

“Buffy, Buffy come here now.”

“Mom what is it?”

“Your boyfriend of two months is standing on our front porch with a smile. Let me guess-- you haven’t had a chance to break up with him, huh?”

Buffy realized that while dealing with all the commotion with William, she had totally forgotten about her ‘Normal all American Boyfriend’. They had only been dating for a short time, but he was a nice guy. She had to tell him-- she knew that-- but she was sorry that it would hurt him. She quickly walked out onto the porch. She looked around at first and couldn’t find any sign that there was anyone there. Then he came around from the side.

“Oh. I was beginning to wonder if you had skipped town.” The young man chuckled.

Buffy just smiled and walked over to him. She gave quickly hugged him and stepped back. He gave her a bewildered look and she knew this was it. “Riley, we need to talk.”

*******************************************************

As William parked in front of Buffy’s house, Tara’s eyes were drawn to the front lawn. There she could see Riley yelling something at Buffy, but couldn’t hear it. She saw William’s jaw tighten. She reached out and put her arm on his to calm him down.

“That’s Riley Finn. Remember he’s in the same year as Buffy, Willow, and me. Buffy and he were dating. I guess she’s breaking up with him. He’s a nice guy, but a little boring at times. You don’t think this is why Xander wanted us here?”

“I doubt it. Xander made it sound like it was police business.” Tara raised her eyebrows at that.
She could tell he was probably thinking the same thing as she was, but voiced her thoughts anyway. “Faith is in trouble again, isn’t she?”

“I’m pretty sure. Xander sounded off though, and I can’t figure out why. I mean this isn’t anything new. Faith has been getting picked up by the police a lot in the last two years.”

Tara had her suspicions, but she would keep them to herself. She hoped that this ominous feeling would go away. She didn’t want to be right about this. Tara watched as William exited the car, and then followed him. They walked across the lawn towards the fighting couple. *******************************************************

Buffy saw them coming across the lawn. She wasn’t sure how this would end, but she figured not well. She had been standing there fighting with Riley for a little over ten minutes. He had gone through the whole ‘we can work this out,’ until she had landed the final blow. She’d told him that she was in love with someone else. That’s when Riley had accused her of cheating on him. Now that William was there though, she was done with it all. She had spoken her piece and done the right thing. Now she had to get Riley out of there before he made a complete jerk of himself.

“Riley, I think you should go home now. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but what was between us is over. You know it wasn’t working, just like I do. Now, if you would please leave.”

She watched as Riley turned around and came face to face with William. “Is this who you left me for?” He asked incredulously, then shook his head and started to walk off. Then suddenly he turned around and decked William, which then started an all out brawl. Both Tara and Buffy tried to get them to split it up, but neither of the men were listening.

“Hey, hey, break it up right now.” Buffy looked up and found Xander and two other familiar looking cops breaking the fight apart.

Buffy quickly walked to William and started checking him over, making sure he was okay. Then she looked at Riley and said, “Get out of here, Riley. I told you we’re over.” She watched Riley huff off and prayed that would be the last time she ever saw him again. Then she turned back to everyone in her front yard. That’s when she got the off feeling that something was wrong. She knew then that Riley had been the least of her problems today.

*******************************************************

Joyce was on her way to the front yard to see how the conversation was going between Riley and her daughter. She reached the front door, but before she could open it she heard a scream that she would never forget for the rest of her life.

“Oh God, NO MOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!”

A/N: Hi all. First I want to thank my wonderful beta Lana. Next I hoped you liked this chapter. If you did please leave a review I would appreciate it. Even if you didn’t like it let me know why. Well ttyl

Joyce rushed outside and quickly took stock of the situation. Tara stood behind William silently crying, while a sobbing Buffy was entangled around him. William himself was on his knees with a shell-shocked look upon his face. As she looked back up, Joyce caught sight of Xander walking towards her. She knew that this was the reasoning behind her doomed feeling. Something terrible had happened, and what ever it was had hit them all.

“Mrs. Summers, I’m afraid we found Faith this morning.”

Joyce interrupted him then; she was afraid of what he would say next. “But she’s alright, isn’t she?” She knew from the look on Xander’s face that Faith wasn’t alright. “Oh no, please don’t tell me, she’s not....?” She couldn’t seem to finish any sentence and Xander seemed to understand that.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Summers, but Faith is dead.”
Joyce stood there shocked, nonetheless, once the words left his mouth. She must have started to faint because one minute she was standing and the next she was being held up by her arms against Xander. When she looked towards Buffy, she found her vision had blurred from the tears falling from her eyes. Right now all Joyce wanted to do was wrap Buffy up in her arms and remind herself that no matter whose genes Buffy had, she was her daughter. Following that train of thought, though, reminded Joyce that the last time she’d seen Faith had been during the fight from two weeks before. The sob that tore through Joyce with those thoughts left anyone hearing it realize that she was hurting not just emotionally, but physically as well. Joyce soon found herself wrapped in Buffy’s arms and they both sat there and cried until there were no tears left.

******************************************************************

William stood back with Xander while Tara helped both Buffy and Joyce into the house. The two other officers had slipped away, realizing that this was personal and that neither of them belonged. Once the girls were out of earshot, William turned around and stared pointedly at Xander. “I want to know what the hell is going on. All the details, understood? And don’t pull that 'this is police business' crap on me. I want know everything.”

“I figured as much. Why do you think I called you? I figured with you being her boyfriend and all you’d be ready to kill.”

William became pensive after hearing Xander refer to him as Faith’s boyfriend. They had been that just twenty-four hours ago. It may not have been love any more but he still cared about Faith and right now all he wanted to do was break down and mourn. First, though, he had to take care of Buffy and Joyce. Later tonight he’d grieve, once he was alone. Then he’d seek revenge on whoever had taken Faith’s life. “We weren’t dating anymore. I showed up at her apartment yesterday, and she was there with another man.” William waved his hand to stop Xander from asking the hundred questions he knew he had. “Yes, I can give you a description, but later. Right now I want to be here with Joyce and Buffy. Also, yes, I have an alibi. I was in L.A. and then here with Buffy last night. Does that answer enough of your questions for now?”

“Just about. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. So are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I’ll get the details about that guy from you later. Let Buffy know I’ll be back, right now I have to get back to the station. I’ll have to get statements from both Buffy and Joyce then about the last time they saw Faith. For now watch over them.”

********************************************************

Buffy now lay on a bed hugging Mr. Gordo close to her heart. She ran her hand over the deep black comforter, as her eyes traveled around the room, appreciating the one who’d lived here. She got off the bed with the pink pig held tight, and moved towards the desk. There on top sat a picture of her and Faith. It had only been taken a few months back. Buffy didn’t know when everything had changed. For years, Faith had treated Buffy as an outsider; like she didn’t belong. Then when Faith cleaned up from the drugs, it was like she was a different person. Buffy had felt as if they where getting closer. Then, within the last month, Faith had started to pull away again. Buffy had wondered if maybe it was because Faith was using drugs again, but she had thought Faith was stronger then that.

Buffy slammed her fist on the desk and the picture toppled to the floor. She clutched Mr. Gordo tighter to her chest and let out a loud sob. The next thing she knew, she found herself being held close to a hard chest, which just caused her to cry harder. She didn’t know what to do anymore; she felt lost and alone and yet she wasn’t. It made no sense to her, so she just stopped thinking about it. She held tight to whomever it was holding her, and she let the feelings out. While she cried, the pig lay on the floor where it had fallen, inches from her hunched form.

****************************************************

William had seen Buffy standing in the bedroom when he came to the door. She had been holding the stuffed pig like it was a life line. At first, he merely stood back, having figured that this was her time to be alone, and that if she needed someone he would be close by. As William watched Buffy stare at the picture and start to cry, all he had wanted to do was wrap her into his arms and never allow anything to hurt her ever again. He was brought out of his thoughts by glass breaking. When he looked back at her, he saw she’d fallen to her knees. Then his eyes where drawn to the broken frame that now lay upon the floor.

William stayed where he was until he heard a sound that could have caused the skies themselves to cry. William quickly took Buffy into his arms and held her tight. For a brief moment, he thought she was going to push him away; but then she wrapped her arms around his torso. He rocked her back and forth while whispering soothing words of comfort in her ear. William didn’t know if the words were calming Buffy, but they were calming him. He didn’t know how long they sat there before Buffy’s sobs turned into trickling tears. What Willaim did know was that when William pulled back, he couldn’t have stopped what he did next even if he had wanted to.

**********************************************************

Joyce sat on the front porch steps waiting. She had called Giles just minutes before, and he said that he was only forty-five minutes outside of Sunnydale. He had immediately wanted to know what was wrong, but she had just told him to come straight to her house. Joyce knew she should call Hank but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She watched the road for a few more minutes, wondering why time seemed to have slowed down. Then she heard the door open behind her. Tara walked out with two cups of tea, handing one to Joyce and setting the second on the step next to her.

“That’s for dad when he gets here.” She turned around and started walking to go back inside.

“How did you know?”

“I’m good at these things, that’s all.” She got a mischievous grin across her face. “Also, I overheard your phone call.” With that she went back inside.

Five minutes later, Giles drove up. Once he made it to the porch, he reached down and pulled Joyce to her feet. Then he cuddled her to him. She started crying again and once again she wondered if she could make it through this. Weren’t you supposed to die before your kids? She just didn’t understand; she knew that her daughter was dead but her mind just couldn’t wrap itself around that fact.

“Now Joyce what has happened?”

“Faith is dead.” she answered quietly.

Giles pulled back from her and stared deeply into her eyes. Joyce knew his eyes were searching for a different answer, but like her, he would find no other answer. Faith was dead, and there was nothing any of them could do about it. Joyce watched as Giles seemed to lose all muscle strength and slumped to the porch steps where she had been minutes before.

“How? I don’t get it. Are they sure it was her?”

“Xander was the one to tell me. I’m guessing he had doubled checked--maybe even triple checked-- before telling us.”

“Yeah, I know he is like that.” Giles said while reaching up and taking his glasses off. She half expected him to start cleaning them but he didn’t. Instead he just rubbed his hand over his face like a sudden tiredness had come over him. She realized how much had changed in just the few short hours since she’d left him at the hotel. Mostly though, she wondered if anything would ever be the same again.

************************************************************

Buffy felt William’s lips on hers, and for a few seconds she was shocked, but then she started returning the kiss. They kissed until both of them needed to breathe. Buffy pulled back and then rested her head against William’s shoulder.

“Wow.” She whispered.

“What was that?” William asked with a chuckle in his voice.

Buffy looked back at him. He smiled at her but it didn’t reach his eyes. She knew that he must be hurting as much as she was, and yet he tried to be strong. Sometimes she could hardly believe this was still the same boy who stood outside his house, and wouldn’t look her in the eye. He had changed so much since that first meeting. From his outward appearance, one would expect him to be some geeky, wimpy, schoolboy, and he let people think what they wanted.

Only those that really knew William were aware that he could take just about anyone in a fight. She was surprised he had shown so much restraint with Riley earlier. Although she shouldn’t have been-- Giles had taught him well. Buffy could still remember William showing up at her house instead because he didn’t want to go home and worry Giles.

******************************************************************

*Flashback*

“Oh, no. William, what happened?”

“Got caught by Mr. Harris while helping Xander to run away.”

“WHAT ”

“Xander decided he was getting out of there. So I helped him get out tonight. Would have worked too if not for my clumsiness. I ended up knocking down one of the flower boxes and got my foot stuck in a rabbit hole. Well, the noise woke up Mr. Harris, and when Xander was nowhere to be found, he figured out what had happened.”

“That Xander had run off and you had helped?”

“Yeah. He wanted to know where ‘His Boy’ was. I wouldn’t tell him and that was when he did this.” William said, pointing to his bruised face.

“Well, I have to call Giles.”

“No, don’t-- he’ll just be angry.”

“No, he won’t... He cares about you no matter what you think.”

“Yeah, right. With all the shit I give him he really cares. Right.”


“William Calendar, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Buffy said with a chuckle and then promptly blanched. “Oh William, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it that way.” William nodded but Buffy saw the pain that lay behind his blue eyes. She wanted to do anything to make what she’d said better. She knew he didn’t show pain though, so she compromised. “Fine, I’ll help you out.” She knew that her mom would be home soon anyway. Buffy knew the minute her mom saw William that she’d be on the phone to Giles.

“Thanks. Do you have anything that I can use to clean up?”

“Yeah, in the bathroom under the sink.”

*End Flashback*
*****************************************************************

Buffy had been right though. Her mother was on the phone to Giles the minute she got home. When Giles had shown up, he had looked pissed. Buffy knew that William had thought Giles was mad at him but Buffy had known better. Within a week, Giles had started teaching William how to take care of himself. William hadn’t wanted to press charges against Mr. Harris, as he was to afraid the police would then try to find Xander then. That was one thing that William never did tell anyone. Xander would show up for school and afterwards, would promptly disappear after. No one but William ever knew where he was.

As for Mr. Harris, he got his just dues too. Right after William was beaten up, someone had ‘supposedly’ jumped Mr. Harris. He always claimed that he had hit his assailant back and they looked worst then he did. Buffy and her friends all thought that they knew what had happened but never pushed, because Giles had bruised knuckles the next morning after Mr. Harris’ ‘attack’. Buffy knew though, that had William wanted to, he could have taken Riley earlier today. She also knew that Giles had always taught him you only do what you must, and he had. He’d kept Riley from hurting himself or William. As she looked at William, Buffy realized how strong he really was. She also knew that he’d keep his feelings to himself if she allowed him. She loved him for that strength but she didn’t need him to be strong right now. Right now she needed to see what he was going
through too. She reached up and caressed his cheek lovingly.

“William, I love you-- don’t shut me out. I know you loved my sister, or you wouldn’t have worried about hurting her. You don’t have to be strong for me. Just be here.” She watched as his eyes slowly filled with tears which ran down the contours of his sharp cheek bones. They both held each other close both crying for the woman they’d never see alive again. She had lost a sister; he, an ex-lover.

A/N: Hi there another chapter done. Did you like it or hate it, let me know which by reviewing. Also if you would like to know when I update just write me an e-mail at behind_closed_doors_spuffy@yahoo.com . Just put in the subject line ‘I wanna be updated’. That way I know what the e-mail is for and I don’t accidently delete it. Anyway thanks for reading and keep an eye out for the next chapter. Also all my thanks to my wonderful beta Lana.

William walked into the living room with two cups of cocoa in his hands. Buffy sat talking on the phone. He had told her she didn’t have to, but she had insisted that she needed something to do. So here she was, making the phone calls to Faith’s family and close friends. She was on the phone with Hank at the moment. She had insisted on calling him, because she wouldn’t put her mother through that. William watched her closely and what he saw didn’t make him happy.

“Listen to me I don’t care if he is in a meeting or if he is simply giving you an ‘oral pep-talk’, I WANT TO SPEAK WITH HIM NOW ” William watched as her eyes narrowed. He figured whatever had been said wasn’t to her liking, because the next thing he heard was the phone slamming on the cradle. “Bitca.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get through to him?”Buffy's eyes shot daggers at William and he backed up and brought the mugs up into view. “Peace offering?” For good measure he, added the puppy dog eyes. Hey, he’d admit it. He used them when they gave him the advantage. He watched as Buffy slowly gave up. She rolled her shoulders and he watched as the tension disappeared from her face.

“You know, that is cheating. I can never stay angry when you use the puppy look.”

William acted offended. “Well, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Buffy just shook her head at him and pointed towards the cups in his hands. “Chocolaty goodness would be of the order, now, ” she said. She then raised her eyebrow at him, when he seemed to take too long to hand over the mug.

“As you wish.”

Buffy chuckled as she blew on her cocoa, trying to cool it down. She looked over the mug at him and said. “You've been watching The Princess Bride again, haven’t you?”

William smiled, “Maybe. And what if I was? It has great fights in it.”

“Uh huh, like that is why you actually like it.”

William just shook his head. “A man just can’t get any respect from you, Miss Summers.”

Her smile turned into a scowl. “Yeah, well there's one man that will never get my respect.”

*********************************************

Buffy stood by the grave as they lowered the casket into the ground. She had refused to leave when the minister had asked her to. William had stayed when Joyce had shown concern about leaving Buffy alone. Buffy couldn’t have thanked him enough, though. She had always seen herself as a strong woman, but seeing Faith lying in the casket earlier had done her in. As she had looked into the casket at the funeral home she could have sworn Faith was just sleeping, making Buffy wonder for a moment if it had all just been a sick practical joke. She knew, though, that Faith was dead. At that moment she broke, turning into the little girl she had been trying to hide all week. William had wrapped her in his arms like he’d done in Faith’s bedroom, and she had continued to cry. He had stayed close all through the funeral and gathering at the burial plot. She had refused to leave though. She swore she wouldn’t leave here until they had buried her sister. She seemed to get the inkling that William understood her feelings. He stood back and waited for her. She bent down when the last pile of dirt was patted down, and laid a rose on it. She had picked one which was a shade of the deepest red she could find, and made sure it was covered in thorns. In a gentle whisper, she reminded herself what Faith had said to her a few months back.

‘The beauty of life doesn’t come without pain, sister.’

Buffy walked back to William then, and kissed him gently on the lips. It wasn’t a kiss of passion though. It was a kiss that reminded her that the pain had been high lately but that there was still beauty in her life.

****************************************************************

Rupert Giles watched Joyce look out the window again. She had been doing the same thing every couple of minutes since they had arrived back at the house. He walked over to her, slid his arms around her waist, and pulled her to him. Laying his chin on her shoulder, he whispered in her ear.

“Don’t worry, she'll be fine.”

“How am I going to tell her, Rupert?”

Giles sighed. She had told him just days before about Buffy not being her biological daughter. “I think she’ll see that you made a promise and tried to keep it. I really believe you have to tell her. You have lived with this secret long enough, and she deserves to know.”

“What if she no longer wants me after she finds out?” Giles moved his hands from around her waist and stood up straight. He waited until she turned and looked at him. Cupping her cheek with his hand, he looked straight into her eyes.

“You will always be her mother, no matter what. I believe Buffy is smart enough to realize that, and if she doesn’t then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Joyce gave a small smile then turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Now, stop worrying about her. She is with William, who is probably the best one to be with her right now. I think he took a small trip down memory lane today.”

************************************************************************

William stood with his back to the tree that shadowed Faith’s burial plot. Buffy stood about five feet away, silently crying as she watched the casket being lowered into the ground. As William watched, he was transported to four years before, but it was him instead of Buffy.

William stood next to a hole, and watched a baby blue casket , his mother’s favorite color, slowly lowered. Every inch it fell deeper into the hole. All he had wanted to do at that point was jump in there with it and let them bury him too. Then he had felt a slight wind brush across his face. When he looked in the direction from which it came, he saw Tara standing in the distance watching him. He knew then that he couldn’t do it; he couldn’t be the reason she lost another person in her life. Even if he did feel miserable.

Now he stood watching Buffy and knew he was thankful that he hadn’t given up. He hadn’t noticed back then that sometimes life was just worth living. That was what he was doing now. It had taken him a while to start living again, but if anything good had come out of this last week, it had been that. He was living again, not just walking through the days, but actually living them. It had taken thinking about Tara to remind him not to give up, but Buffy had caused him to see that he had to continue to live.

He was drawn back from his thoughts by Buffy. She had bent down to the closed grave and laid a rose on it. He watched as she whispered something and then stood. She walked to him slowly and as she reached her hand up, he bent his head down. When he was close enough, she kissed him. He could tell that there was a difference to the kiss, but he wasn’t sure why. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and once again she cried on his shoulder. He waited until she had calmed down. “You wanna leave yet?”

“Not really... can we just sit a bit?” William took his gray overcoat off and laid it on the grass. He sat with his back against the tree and waited for her to sit. She maneuvered her skirt and sat down, leaning against him. After a long silence, he spoke up. “So, what’s bothering you?”

“Did you ever really love my sister, or was it just a safe relationship for you?” William wasn’t sure where this was going, but he wasn’t sure he liked where it might lead. “Why are you asking this?”

Buffy rephrased the question. “Did you love her in the beginning and then have your feelings change over time, or was it more of a friendship between you two from the begining?”


“I don’t know about her, but for me it was an attraction that never went past friendship. We played the couple, but not much more. Like I said the other day, it was safe, and I figured I wouldn’t get hurt.” William thought for a few more minutes then finished up by saying. “After everything with my mother, I never wanted to love again. So what Faith and I had was easy. I never had to lose someone I cared about again, or so I thought. When I first met her, I thought she was the person who I wanted to be with. Someone who didn’t care about anybody or anything. Then I realized that for her it was just a facade. Through the relationship, I think we both changed. I slowly came to the realization that you couldn’t live life without pain, and I wanted to live. Faith, on the other hand just wanted the pain to go away, and she didn’t care how she made it disappear. I figured that’s why she turned to drugs. I didn’t know for sure though. After that, we pretty much stopped talking to each other. Why is this so important?”

“William with everything that has been going on I’m just worried we’ll end up like you and Faith. You just staying with me so as not to hurt me, or us just staying together because it’s ‘safe’.” William was quiet for a long time. He mulled over what she had said and he knew exactly what he had to do.

“Maybe we should break up then?”

****************************************************************

In a small stone crypt a few feet away from Faith’s plot stood a shadow among the dead. It watched on with keen brown eyes and soaked up the pain that surrounded it. It had started this whole thing in motion and slowly things where falling into place. It watched as Buffy ran away from William crying. It loved the pain, but didn’t have time to just stand around, as there was much more to be done. The shadow would have its revenge and get what it was due. After William had gone after Buffy, the shadow made its way slowly out of the crypt. The sun had set below the horizon, so it was easy to stay hidden. The shadow skulked towards the dug up dirt where Faith lay beneath, and reached down to pick up the rose that lay there. Buffy would see this rose again and realize what pain really was. Slowly, the shadow receded into the darkness that permeated the cemetery, but not before whispering a farewell. Anyone listening could have heard it in the slight breeze.

“They all will feel pain for what they have taken.”



A/N: Well Following Shadows is back from it’s hiatus and I hope to be updating more frequently now. *crosses fingers*. Anyway I hope you all like this chapter, and let me know what you thought. I love feedback no matter if it’s good or bad.

William sat with his back against the tree, holding Buffy. Her body had become rigid, and she sat up after he had spoken. He realized he should have explained it better, but it was too late now because she was already standing up and trying to run off.

William grabbed her by the hand though, and spun her around until she was pinned between him and the tree. The tree’s sharp bark bit into his hand but he ignored it, and didn’t move. He knew if he did she’d just run again and he couldn’t let her. She halfheartedly tried to push him away but soon gave up and bowed her head downward. She mumbled something but he couldn’t hear what she’d said.

“Buffy, what did you say?”


“I said I’m sorry for questioning if you loved me but I needed to know. I guess I do now.” She sounded so much like a child, whispering her statement out.

“No you don’t know Buffy, you di...”


She interrupted with an agitated lilt to her voice. “William, I know perfectly well what you meant, you said it pretty clearly.”


William just stared down at her, and couldn’t help the smirk that came to his face. He couldn't believe that she wasn't listening to him. She alwasy seemed to do that with him. William hadeted it when she wouldn't let him explain. “You always were quick with the assumptions. Buffy do you know what assume means?” He watched her look him in the eyes and saw the fury of fire that started to swelter in her eyes.

“No I don’t, but I’m pretty sure you will tell me. Won’t you?” She told with a small growl to her voice.

He knew his answer would piss her off more, but his brain couldn’t seem to stop his mouth from talking. “It means when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME.” He watched her whole face turn a bright red as she started gnashing her teeth. He saw her knee too late though; she brought it straight up between his legs. She then turned in a huff and started running away. Before she got to the end of the first row of gravestones, she again faced him.

“William, you’re the ass. That’s for sure.”


Buffy quickly left the cemetery. William watched her retreat as he leaned against that same sharp bark trying to catch his breath and push down the emotional pain he was feeling. He wanted to run after her and apologize. Once again his mouth had gotten him into trouble. He had thought he was losing her and automatically started closing his heart up. In doing so, he’d become an arrogant ass once again.

He had acted that way a lot after his mom had died, mostly to cut the feeling out. He didn’t want to do that anymore, but he guessed old habits died hard. Once the pain had subsided a bit, he started to walk in the same direction that Buffy had traveled. He knew that his walk was quite the sight, as he was trying to keep as little movement as possible from affecting his private jewels.

*******************************************************

Buffy could not believe that arrogant asshole.

After everything that had happened that day he had the audacity to break up with her and then call her names. At least he had gotten one part of that comment right. He was an ass.

She tried to figure out what had happened. She had never seen him act like that. He had always been really sweet but now she could see what Faith had probably seen in him. She had always liked the asinine assholes. She had just never thought he could be one of them.

Buffy knew she had to calm down before she reached her house, or else she’d upset her mother. She slowed down a bit while also ensuring that William didn’t catch up. She felt a little bad about kicking him that way, but she had been pissed. Her conscience was beginning to get to her a bit, but she was adamant that after his comment, he deserved it. As she got closer to her home, she quickened her pace and decided to enter through the back door. Hopefully everyone would be preoccupied in the living room and wouldn’t see her.

She made it as far as the top landing leading to the upstairs before she felt the familiar hand rest on her shoulder. She knew who it was and she tried to suppress the tears that came to her eyes. As she turned and saw the caring face looking at her she couldn’t help it.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong? Where is William?”


Buffy looked into Tara’s eyes and thought about what to say. Maybe Tara could explain what was wrong with William. So she told Tara the story of what had happened. She watched Tara’s eyes grow wider as she continued and by the time Buffy had recounted her tale, the look on Tara’s face had hardened. Buffy wondered if Tara had been taking lessons from Willow. The face Tara was sporting looked as if it could counter Willow’s resolve face any day, which was something with which you did not want to mess.

“That bastard.”


Buffy heard Tara say something about not worrying about it, and that William would be back to his old self real quick. Then Tara turned on her heel, leaving Buffy standing there in shock. Buffy had never heard Tara swear or at least not without blushing. Tara was one of those people that just didn’t see the need to use profanity. For her to use it in that way meant that she was really angry and Buffy knew she didn’t want to be William. She felt bad about it for a bit but knew that Tara wouldn’t hurt William, or at least she hoped not.

*******************************************************

William walked through the gate into Buffy’s backyard. He leaned against it for a bit and tried to figure out how he could fix this. He knew that Buffy had probably already gone to bed, but he knew he had to straighten things out with her. William started walking towards the back door; however, before he could reach it, he was hit on the head. He turned to see who had hit him and found Tara glaring at him. Gone was the smiling face and easy going demeanor she usually sported. In its place was a mouth drawn in a grim line and raised eyebrows. He knew she was waiting for an explanation. He guessed she had talked to Buffy. He also knew if he didn’t answer correctly that the evening paper she was holding would find itself plastered to his head again.

“You had to go and pull your safety out again didn’t you?”

He bowed his head at her comment, because that’s exactly what he’d done.

“Oh no you don’t, mister. You are not getting any sympathy from me. You know Buffy was crying when she came in? You couldn’t keep your mouth shut could you?” She continued to lay into him and he continued to feel worse. “I will not let you fall back into this behavior again, is that understood? You did this after mom died and you will not do this again.”

He watched as Tara’s eyes slowly started to glisten in the moonlight. He knew he had hurt her too. He could just imagine what thoughts were going through her mind.

He pulled her into a hug, whispering, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me but I’m not going to be like that again. I promise.”

Tara nodded against his shoulder then leaned back and looked him in the eyes. This time, all William saw was the love and the worry that she had for him. Tara smiled.

“Now I think you have a big apology to make, and don’t botch it up.”


“I wouldn’t...” He was cut off by her raising her eyebrows at him. “Okay, maybe I would.”


Tara nodded her head and moved out of the doorway that led into the kitchen.

William stood back and looked at her. She was turning into such a beautiful woman and he couldn’t believe he had actually thought about giving up all those years ago. It seemed almost too long ago that those thoughts had run through his head. He realized she was waiting for him to make a move, and the longer he stood there the more irritated she became. William decided he had better go and apologize to Buffy. As he passed Tara, he mussed her hair and then continued on. He heard her huff and all he could do was smile. She may have turned into a beautiful woman, but she was still his little sis.

*******************************************************

When he arrived upstairs, William found Buffy in the hallway. She had changed her clothes and looked like she was ready for bed. The only problem with that scenario was that she wasn’t anywhere near her bedroom. She was sitting on the floor with her back pressed against Faith’s bedroom door. Once again she had the pig in her grasp. He watched her closely. Instead of her looking at him like he expected, she continued to stare at the wall in front of her. William was just about to walk over to Buffy and tap her out of her reverie, when she finally spoke.

“You know I don’t know what your problem was but I’m not in the mood to fight right now. So maybe you should just leave.”


“Buffy I came to apologize. I know I was an idiot, but please hear me out before you send me away.”


“Fine.”


“Buffy, in the cemetery I told you that maybe we should break up. Well, I meant it, just not how you thought.”


“William, you are not winning any points here.”


“Okay. To be more specific, I did not mean that I wanted to break up, but meant that we should put our relationship on hold for now.”


Buffy turned and looked at him with a quizzical eye. “What are you getting at?”


“I mean since I have to go back to England for a month and a half, we should hold off on pursuing our relationship any further until I return. That way we both get some time apart and figure out if this is what we really want. In the last week we’ve moved really fast. This way we can slow it down a little. I don’t want you to have any doubts about ‘us’ as a couple.”


“That’s fine and dandy. I mean you could have dropped the hint a little better, but I can agree with what you’re saying. That still doesn’t explain you being an ass about it all.” She answered with a hurt tone that had a sarcastic twinge.

William looked down at his hands and wrung them together. “Yeah, well see.... I have a tendency to act like a total pillock when I think I might get hurt.”


“Pi..whatever doesn’t even come close to describing the way you were acting.”


“Would kicking me in the balls again make it better?” William chuckled as Buffy shook her head and began to smile.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that but you just had me so pissed off.”


“I know that I went about it all wrong but I really want to still date you. I think it would be good if we just slowed down a bit. If anything, it will give you time to come to terms with Faith’s death and realize that whatever is happening between you and me has nothing to do with her.”


“I think you’re right, but I will miss you William.” Buffy’s voice sounded like an overly sweet little girl and she chuckled. When William looked down into her eyes he could see that she had forgiven him. He let out a breath of air at that realization. He had been so afraid that he had lost her. He didn’t know why she had forgiven him, but he was grateful she had.

“Buffy, do you know how much I love you?”


Buffy sat there for a few minutes just starring in his eyes. She could see how much he loved her, it was all right there. “Yeah William. I know.” She watched his shoulders relax with relief. He then turned around and sat next to her. She watched his hand grab hers and squeeze it.

“So what were you doing staring at the wall? I don’t see anything interesting there.” Buffy giggled as William got up an inspected the wall closely. “Nope, nothing interesting here.”


“I was just thinking. You know after this week, I don’t think anything will ever be the same.” She watched William sit back down in front of her and was drawn to the emotions playing over his face. She was aware that he wanted to put her at ease, but she got the distinct feeling he wasn’t sure how to do that. Slowly, though, a grin made its way onto his face. He nodded sharply and grinned.

“I think we need to get you medicated.”


“William, are you trying to be a jerk or does sticking your foot in your mouth just come second nature to you?”


“I’m not trying to be a big meany. I’m serious. You need medicine. The good stuff.” Buffy was slowly getting irritated with William. She didn’t think he knew when to shut up anymore. He started pulling on her arm to help her stand, but she acted like a pouty two-year-old and sat with her arms crossed, not moving. Finally he just reached under her arms and threw her over his shoulders, fireman-style.

“Gosh you’re....” She interrupted him.

“William if you value your life you won’t finish that statement.” Buffy smacked William’s butt hard for good measure though. She could do nothing but giggle as William carried her down the stairs. When they got to the bottom of the stairs, she heard several whoops of laughter come from the living room. She heard Giles next.

“Dear Lord William! What on earth are you doing.”


“Medicating Buffy. She’s too gloomy.” Although Buffy couldn’t see his face, she could hear the elation in his voice as he spoke to his father. Then Buffy felt William’s hand connect with her butt. “Ain’t that right Buffy?”


“Eep” After a quick giggle from her, he turned on his heels and headed for the kitchen. Buffy could hear her mother burst out laughing again and caught a glimpse of Giles just shaking his head. When William dropped her on one of the stools in the kitchen, Buffy looked up and saw he was smiling from ear to ear. She couldn’t help smiling with him.

He bent down next to her ear and whispered. “See knew I could get you to grin.” It didn’t take long until those who were in the living room began to congregate in the kitchen. Buffy noticed that the numbers had dwindled down to just those who were close to the Summers family. Most of them where friends that had turned into family over the years. Williow stood next to Tara and Buffy's mom, oppisite Buffy at the end of the island. While Xander and Giles stood by the door. She was glad they were the only one's there, when she thought back to the whole scenario that had just played out.

Buffy watched as William walked around the kitchen, pulling stuff out of cupboards and drawers. Buffy couldn’t figure out what he was doing, but the others were watching him with anticipation. William suddenly stopped though and looked like he was in deep thought about something.

“Mrs. Summers, where is the strawberry topping?”


Giles once again spoke up. “William, what are you up to?”


A look of nostalgia crossed Joyce’s face. “Rupert let him be and just wait.” She pointed to where it was stored. “William it’s in the cupboard over there.”


Buffy still wasn’t quite sure what was going on. As William pulled the chocolate ice cream out of the freezer, everyone in the room who was under twenty years of age squealed. Actually, Xander also made a noise which sounded suspiciously squeal-like, but quickly tried to cover it up.

William then asked, “So, who’s in the mood for a Bloody Sundae?”


Buffy heard her mother start laughing again. However, Giles was still standing by the door with a perplexed look on his face. Joyce then spoke up. “Why doesn’t everyone move back into the living room and let William make the sundaes.” Everyone except William and Buffy did as Joyce requested and moved to the other room. William started dishing out the ice cream. Buffy watched her mother walk over to William and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks William, for making me smile.” Joyce then left the kitchen to join the others.

Buffy, who had been sitting on a stool, got up and pulled William into a kiss too, but hers was not quite as chaste as her mother’s. “Thank you.” Then she started to walk toward the door also.

“Hey! Wait a minute! Aren’t you going to help?”


“You’re the one that called me an ass, what do you think?” Before retreating into the living room, Buffy saw William shake his head. She couldn’t help thinking how much he looked like his step-father when he did that. It proved more so that they were father and son even though they didn't share blood.

A/N: In chapter two I made a typo. William and Buffy are four years apart not two. My beta picked up on this mistake and I just wanted to clear it up with all of my readers. Hopefully I haven't confused to many people. Well on with this chapter.
ttyl
bcdspuffy
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Chapter 8
Revealing the Past
*******************************************************
Buffy sat in the living room, listening as everyone joked around. It seemed weird to sit here laughing and enjoying life, like it was just another day. It wasn't just another day, her sister had died. She felt that they should be mourning her, but that didn't seem right either. She was just so confused about all this, what she did know though was that Faith would have wanted them to move ahead with their own lives, even if it was without her.

Buffy suddenly wondered if Faith was watching down on them right now, and laughing along with them. Buffy couldn't help the smile that spread across her face with the thought of what Faith must have thought of her being thrown over William's shoulder. As she refocused on the conversation, she heard her mother explaining the history of the bloody sundae.

"By the time I had caught on that William was using the word 'bloody', my girls were too. So I outlawed the word; at least here in the house. Faith seemed to stop using it pretty quickly, but Buffy had come accustomed to using it. She kept getting grounded every couple of days because of it. Anyway, this went on for a couple of weeks, and Buffy slowly stopped using the word. It was about a month later, and William had shown up to drop Tara off at the slumber party for that weekend."

Buffy caught a movement by the door and looked over in that direction. There, standing in the shadows was William. She silently stood up and walked over to him.

"So where are the sundaes?"

"I figured the explanation might take a bit of time. So, instead of letting the ice cream melt, while everyone listened to your mom tell about our youth, I thought I'd just wait till she got closer to the end of the story before I served the ice cream."

Buffy just smiled. She couldn't help wondering how a night that had started out so badly had turned out so well. She turned around and refocused on her mother's voice. As the story continued to wash over her, Buffy leaned back against William. His arms quickly snaked their way around her waist and held her closer to him. She couldn't stop the sigh of happiness that slipped through her lips though, as she took in the comfort of being in his arms.

"So William saved her butt from another grounding by yelling out 'Yeah, Mrs. Summers, see it's a bloody sundae', as he drenched the ice cream in strawberry syrup. I don't think Buffy ever said the word again."

Buffy could feel the warmth as a blush took over her cheeks, and her friends all started snickering. She also felt William lean his head down next to her ear.

"Should I tell her how many times I know you've used the word?"

Buffy could hear the chuckle in his lowered whisper. She felt her cheeks flush again. Buffy wasn't sure if that came from her embarrassment, or the fact that the low pitch of William's voice had sounded so sexy. She quickly saved herself from prying questions. "Yes, well that was my youth. Now I'm going to go help William with those sundaes." She turned then and headed towards the kitchen. She knew that she had told William she wouldn't help but it was better then being questioned about why she was blushing.
***************************************************************************************************

Willow stood on the front porch watching her brother. She had watched him slip out of the living room soon after the ice cream had been served. He had been quiet all night and she just couldn't figure out what had been going on with him. Quiet and Xander were two very unmixy things. She watched as he seemed to be talking to himself and then suddenly he just plopped on the ground and laid there. After five minutes or more and he hadn't moved she got worried. She silently walked towards him, so it startled her when he spoke.

"Willow I know your there. What do you want?"

Willow could hear a sorrow in his voice that she hadn't heard in a long time. She had wondered what would bring this on, but wasn't sure if it was in her place to ask him. She sat down next to him and started to pull out blades of grass. Willow hoped that Xander would just start talking like he used to do when they were kids. As the minutes passed by though, she realized it wouldn't be that easy this time.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.

He turned his head towards her and that is when she realized that he had been crying. "Not really. It's something I have to deal with on my own."

"Why?"

"Because I just do, and this is none of your business so just leave it be." His voice had slowly risen as he had spoken.

Willow could take a hint, but it hurt that he had been so short with her. "I'm sorry I just wanted to know how I could fix whatever was troubling you."

She watched him stand straight and harden his shoulders. "Willow, there are just some things you can't fix, okay? Listen, I'm going to go for a walk. See if someone can take you home. I'll see you in the morning if not before. I have some thinking to do." With that said, Xander walked away from Willow.

She just couldn't figure out what was wrong with her brother. She let the tears that formed in her eyes fall down her cheeks. They started to tickle her nose, where they were congregating, so she quickly rubbed them away. Willow wished she could fix all of this. The worlds of both her friends and family were slowly falling apart, and she couldn't figure out what she could do to fix it. Willow calmed herself down and decided to go back inside the house and find someone to take her home. As she walked through the door, she saw William first.

"Hey William, do you think you can take me home?"

"Yeah, sure Red, but where's the whelp?"

"I'm not sure. He wouldn't tell me where he was going. He seemed to be hurting but wouldn't talk to me." William looked at her quizzically. She knew that he had picked up on the hurt in her voice, so she quickly side stepped the whole thing. "So you can take me home then?"

"Yeah when you wanna leave?"

"Now would be good if you can."

He nodded his head. "Yeah. Let me tell Buffy so she doesn't worry."

"Sure."

Willow went to the closet to retrieve her coat while William walked back towards the kitchen.
*************************************************************************************************************

William wasn't sure what had occurred between Xander and Willow outside, but he knew that Willow had been hurt. He wondered what had happened but figured he'd not pry unless she talked to him. William walked into the kitchen and found Buffy standing at the sink, washing the bowls that had been used for the sundaes.

"Hey. I gotta take Willow home. You going to be okay while I'm gone?"

Buffy turned to him and gave him a perturbed look. "William, I'm not completely helpless. Although I haven't been in the best of moods here lately, I can take care of myself. So, yes, I will be fine while you're gone." Her tone was patronizing and William knew that he couldn't talk himself out of this. So he just didn't say anything. He watched Buffy's facial _expression and tone go from angry to inquiring. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"No. I figured I'd let you rant and then I'd just do this…." He quickly pulled her to him and placed his lips upon hers before she could protest. She leaned into him as the kiss deepened. Soon he had to pull back to breathe and she leaned her head against his chest.

"I thought we were on hold?"

"Just reminding you what you're holding for." He tried to give her his best smirk and then he turned to leave. He did tell her though that he'd be back within the hour before he left.

When William returned to the front door, Willow stood there already in her coat. "You tell Buffy where you're going?"

"Yeah, you ready?"

"Uh huh."

He could tell that she was distracted by her thoughts again, so he just opened the door and let her lead the way. As Willow approached the end of the sidewalk, she walked right past the De Soto. "Hey Red, you missed the car."

"No I didn't. I figured we could walk, okay?"

William noticed Willow's behavior for what it was. She wanted to talk, so he agreed and stepped in line beside her. After about three blocks, he remembered why he didn't normally agree to walk to Xander's apartment. Willow had lived with her brother for awhile now. She had started by just showing up some nights when her parents being drunk just gotten to be too much. Ever since turning eighteen the previous February, she had moved into his guest bedroom, at least until she left for college later in the year. They had another two blocks to go, so he knew that she would start talking soon. He was right.

"William, does Xander tell you everything?"

"Not everything, but he tells me enough. Why do you ask?"

"Well he was acting all far away-ey tonight and I can't figure out what is wrong with him?"

Although this was supposed to be a serious conversation, William couldn't help the chuckle that slipped through his lips. "Did you hear what you just said?" Before she could answer, he continued. "I truly know that you have been hanging around Buffy too much." Willow left out a slight giggle too, but the feeling wasn't behind it. "So he's been acting distant then, right?"

"Yeah and he won't tell me what is bothering him. He says it's none of my business and that I can't fix everything."

"Well he's right about that. You can't fix everything. Some things guys just have to work out on their own. It could just be something that he can't talk about with you."

"Well, could you talk to him?"

"Me?" he asked "Nuh uh. Xander tells me things when he is ready. I don't go asking."

"Please?" Willow's face was sporting a pouty look that William knew he couldn't refuse. He knew Willow knew that too.

"Fine I'll talk to him, but if he asks, I'm telling him you sent me. Now come on. I'm taking you home before your pout gets me into any more trouble."

Willow's face brightened with a smile. "Thank you so much! You won't regret helping me."

"You're welcome. Now let's get you home." Under his breath, William began muttering about women and their pouts.
*******************************************************************************************************************

Buffy was completing the task of putting away the clean dishes as her mother walked through the kitchen door.

"So where is Giles?" Buffy asked.

"He decided to step outside for a bit."

Buffy noticed her mother's nervousness but dismissed it, figuring it couldn't be anything that important. "So mom, when were actually planning on telling us that you and Giles had become a thing?"

"We had planned on telling you last week; but then this whole thing came up. It just didn't seem like the right time to reveal that Rupert and I were dating." Buffy nodded her head in the affirmative, and continued putting dishes away. "Buffy… speaking of getting things out in the open… we need to talk. Will you come and sit down with me?"

Buffy watched as her mother pulled a stool away from the island and sat down. Buffy wasn't sure what was going on, but she could tell that it was serious. Her mother had the same look on her face when she told Buffy about the divorce between herself and Hank, all those years ago. Buffy had stopped calling him dad a long time ago. She just couldn't stomach calling that man by any name that would elevate him to a place of importance in her life. He was never there for her through all these years, and she didn't see the sense in calling him something that he'd never been to her. Buffy was getting worried though, because that look normally meant life altering changes. Buffy felt she'd had enough of them lately. "Mom, what's wrong? You're worrying me."

"Honey, I have to tell you something and it's very important. I need you to listen to the whole story, so please don't go running out of here." By the end of the sentence, Buffy could hear the anguish and pleading in her mother's voice so she agreed.

"Buffy you're not my biological daughter."

The moment those words came out of her mother's mouth, Buffy knew that she couldn't have run away, even if she had wanted to. She was paralyzed by the shock of the statement. "What do you mean you're not my mother?"

"Buffy please listen to what I have to say and then you can ask questions, okay?"

Buffy must have nodded or gave her approval in some way because her mother, no not her mother - Joyce -- continued.

"Faith was four years old when I found out Hank had been cheating on me. I had started noticing small things. At first I truly thought he was just working hard, but when he missed Faith's birthday, I became angry and went searching for him at the office. I found him all right; with his secretary, on the floor of his office. I later learned that he had been cheating on me for awhile. I hadn't known what to do at first but I knew that I couldn't live with a man who had cheated on me. So I left with Faith for about a month before Hank had talked me into moving back, with a promise never to cheat again. It was about six months after that though when I found out about you."

************************************************************************
*Flashback*

Tringggggggg, tringggggggg, tringggggggg.

"Mrs. Summers I'll get that. You go sit down." Trina said.

Joyce could never seem to get used to having servants. If she was truthful, it twisted her gut every time she allowed them do something for her. She had always prided herself on doing things on her own. Now she had servants doing everything for her, even when she didn't want them to. She decided to listen though; she wasn't in the mood for another fight with Hank tonight. Joyce would have continued heading for the living room if she hadn't caught the sound of a sob coming from the direction of the front door.

"Trina who is it?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, Mrs. Summers. Just someone trying to sell something."

There was a sharp reply to Trina's statement from the individual on the other side of the door. "No! I'm not trying to sell something. I'm trying to see Mrs. Summers! It's important!"

Joyce wasn't sure what was going on, but she knew the sound of pain when she heard it. She instructed Trina to wait a moment and headed in the direction of the foyer.

"But Mrs. Summers, Mr. Summers gave me strict instructions not to let this women talk to anyone in the house."

"Well Trina right now I don't care. Let the girl in and I will decide for myself whether or not I want to talk to her. As for what Mr. Summers said, well let's put it this way, I will talk to him later." Trina escorted the young woman into the house. She was dressed in a denim skirt and a black tank top. Her hair flowed straight and stopped right below her shoulders, and her hazel eyes had become bloodshot from crying. Joyce suddenly realized that not only did the woman look familiar, she also noticed that the woman was very definitely pregnant.

"Mrs. Summers, I'm sorry to bother you but I had to try. You are my last hope."

"Yes, well, come in and sit down. You must be tired of standing. Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar."

"I'm sure I do, but I doubt if you'll like the answer to that question." Joyce waved her hand for the woman to continue with her story. "I was your husband's secretary at one time." The woman stopped talking after that to allow Joyce time to put two and two together.

Joyce realized that this had been the woman on the floor with her husband seven months before. Joyce assumed that she knew what had happened, but she wanted confirmation from the woman. "First I want to know your name and then would you please explain why you're here?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I should have given you my name before I even said anything. My name is Eve. I know you probably don't want to hear this but I'm sorry for what I did. I don't expect you to forgive me or anything; but all I ask is for a few minutes of your time."

Joyce nodded for Eve to continue, and she told Joyce everything. By the end of the story, Joyce understood that Eve was just a naïve young woman who had gotten herself into trouble and didn't know what to do. Joyce contemplated how she could help, but wasn't sure what she could do.

"Mrs. Summers, all I ask is that you talk to Hank. I can't take care of this baby, but I couldn't have an abortion like he told me to."

If there had been one part of this entire mess that pissed Joyce off the most, it was that. She had never felt abortion was right, and Hank even knew that. "What is it you would like me to do?"

"I don't want my baby growing up not knowing her real family, even if it is someone like Hank. I realize it would be easier if I could raise her, but I can't. I tried to explain this to Hank but he told me he had given me my only choice. You were my last option. I will put the baby up for adoption if I have to, but I figured I'd talk to you first. I don't even know if you can do anything or would even want to, but I had to try."

Joyce could understand where the young woman was coming from, but she wasn't sure what she could do about it. She explained to Eve that she would think it over and get back to her.

Joyce had waited until Hank came home and then confronted him. The conversation had gone from bad to worse as they talked and yelled. At one point, Faith had walked in wondering what was going on. Joyce had taken her back to bed and explained it was just a simple disagreement between her parents. Faith had kissed Joyce on the cheek and said "I love you mommy, night."

That's when Joyce had been hit with an idea. "Hank, I want to adopt the baby."

"No! I refuse to do that! I told that woman what she could do with that baby and I meant it!"

Once again, Joyce became infuriated with her husband. "Hank, let me put it this in a way even you can understand. You will accept that baby and take responsibility, or I will make sure Eve has access to the best lawyer money can buy."

"Lawyer for what?"

"Well, she'll need child support to raise the little one, won't she? Believe me Hank, I will make your life as miserable as you've made mine these last few months. Oh, and by the way, Cindy called the house. You want to know what she said?"

Joyce watched as her husband's face turned ashen at the revelation that she was not only aware that her husband had yet another mistress but that she also knew her name! Joyce had become aware of Hank's latest conquest when she called the house and thought that Joyce was the maid! This “Cindy” had wanted to reschedule a date she had with Hank to another night because she had to go out of town. Joyce had contemplated leaving Hank again even then, but had decided to wait until she had talked to Hank about it. She had hoped that he had a good excuse; however, his face told her everything she needed to know. He had cheated on her. Again. "Hank, I think you should think about what I just said, and then let me know."

It hadn't taken long for Hank to agree. Joyce had even gone as far as to invite Eve to stay at the house until the baby was born. Eve had declined the offer, explaining that not only would it be awkward, but that she had already caused enough trouble. She had promised to call them as soon as she went into labor.

On January 19, 1982 Buffy Anne Summers was born. As Joyce held the little baby girl in her arms, she knew she had done the right thing. Joyce then went to see how Eve was doing, but learned she was discharged from the hospital earlier in the day, and had left.

*End Flashback*
***************************************************************************************************

Xander sat on the stool staring at a shot of whiskey. He knew he shouldn't have come here, but he had hoped to drown his sorrows. It had been after he'd paid the bartender though, that he realized what a mistake that would be. He knew if he came home drunk, Willow would probably not let him in his own apartment. So he just sat there staring at it, not sure what he should do. Over the course of the last year, his life had taken many twists and turns. He thought at one point he had found everything he'd wanted. He had become a cop just like he'd dreamed -- yes he was only a rookie -- but still, he was working his dream job. He had gotten Willow to agree to move in with him. Then he fell in love with the wrong girl. He knew when it had happened it was wrong. He had tried to tell himself for a long time just to forget about it. In the end though, he hadn't and had gotten his heart ripped out in the process. He took another long look at the glass and contemplated drinking it. Instead, he banged his head down on his crossed arms, and muttered one small sentence. It was filled with all the emotional pain that coursed through his body though.

"Damn you Faith"

"You loved her, didn't you?"

Xander knew who was behind him without even lifting his head from his arms. Once again the guilt was coming back in full force and he knew that it should. He had betrayed his friend and in the end his brain wondered if it had been worth it. Although his heart was already letting him know that even with the pain, it had been well worth the little bit of happiness he had experienced.

"Yeah I did." Xander waited for the blow that he knew he deserved, but instead all he heard was the stool next to his screech across the floor. He looked up then to see what William was doing.

"Hey Willy want to get me two shots and Xander another one?"

Xander watched Willy nod and then looked back at William. "If you’re going to kill me, I'd rather not be drunk at the time. Hell, what am I saying? Yes, I do want to be drunk. It might dull the physical pain you’re going to inflict."

"I'm not letting you get drunk. Willow would kill me."

"You didn't deny that you were going to kill me though."

William gave a bemused laugh. "I probably should, you know. Cheating with my girlfriend and all, but I won't." He paused as if trying to organize his thoughts. Finally he answered in a downhearted voice. "Xander, at least you gave her what I couldn't."

Xander just looked at his friend. He wasn't sure if he'd heard William correctly. As he stared at William's face though, he knew he had. "What do you mean?"

"I couldn't love her no matter how hard I tried. No, I take that back. I don't think I tried at all. I realize that now. I know it's too late but I do realize it."

"Yeah, but a lot of good it did me. Faith wouldn't let anybody near for too long."

*Flashback*

Xander was sprawled out on the bed next to a naked Faith. Faith skirted her body closer to his and then turned over to look him in the face.

"That was great." Then she reached over his body and grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the bed stand.

"Yeah, it was." Faith had continued to talk, but Xander's own jumbled brain tuned her out in his nervousness. They had been seeing each other for well over six months now. Well, actually their time together pretty much consisted of just sleeping together. In that time though, he had seen real glimpses of Faith and he knew he was falling in love with her. He wanted to tell her right then but had decided not to. He wanted it to be special.

"Faith, you doing anything this Friday?"

"No. Why? You want me to pencil you in?"

"Faith stop that. You’re not some whore that makes appointments!" He was disgusted when Faith acted like this. She was so much more then just a ‘fuck buddy’. She refused to acknowledge it though.

Faith sat up and just chuckled as she started to pull her jeans up her legs and over her thighs. Xander watched with great fascination. He could never get over how her muscles twitched under her skin with every small move. With her chest still bare, she crawled towards him slowly. As she moved, her breasts swayed in front of him in a hypnotizing fashion. He quickly brought his eyes to look into hers, and swallowed back the moan that had tried to escape. "So what do you want to do Friday?" As she asked the question, she had trailed her nail up the middle of his shirtless chest, causing him to shiver.

"I want to take you out." The moan slipped out amongst his words.

He watched her freeze up in front of him. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because.... Well, because."

Xander watched Faith snap back and knew he had said something wrong. He quickly sat up and tried to reach for her, but she stepped out of his reach. He looked at her; he was hurt and a little perplexed at the way she was treating him suddenly. He watched her Throw on his blue button down shirt that he'd worn to work that day. He could just imagine how awful it smelled. His day had consisted of the mind numbing task of pushing paperwork in a stuffy hot cubicle. He wondered why she would even want to wear it. After a few minutes of silence, Xander thought he heard Faith mumble something.

"What was that Faith?"

"Oh, just that it's been fun but I actually have an appointment on Friday."

"What do you mean you have an appointment?" Xander couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Was she actually saying she was cheating on him?

"Exactly how it sounds, lover boy. You didn't really think you were the only one, did you?"

"Why, you bitch! You've been sleeping around on me?"

He tried one more time to just dismiss what she was saying; but he knew the answer to the question. He was pissed at her because she had played him. She had wanted what she wanted and that was all. He, on the other hand, had fallen for her and now he was the one who sat there holding his own broken heart in his hands. Xander had to admit that Faith had pulled the wool over his eyes really well.

"Why? You thought I'd cheat on William and not you? Oh, you did, didn't you?"

"You know what Faith? I just realized something. I always thought you just played the heartless bitch, but I guess now I know you weren’t playing."

Xander reached for his pants and threw them on. He grabbed the keys to his car and then slammed out the door. He stood on the other side of the door for a few minutes, leaning on it and thinking about what to do. Finally though, he made up his mind, pushed off the door, and continued down the stairs to the parking lot. Xander got into his car and started it. For a split second he thought about going back up to Faith’s apartment and trying to talk to her; instead he took one last look at the building where she lived and then left.

*End Flashback*

"That's the last night I saw her, almost two weeks before she died. Looking back on the conversation though I don't think she meant it. She seemed to be fighting herself every time she said something. I wonder if I had been able to see through my pain and bitterness that night, that I might have been able to persuade her. Maybe I would have been with her the night she.... It makes me wonder whether I would have been with her and could have saved her. You know?"

William shook his head and Xander could see that he had wondered the same thing. Xander turned around and leaned his back against the bar.

"It feels worse though knowing that the last words I said to her was to call her a heartless bitch."

"I know mate. I feel that I should pop you a good one in the nose for that, but I think you’re hurting yourself enough with that guilt."

Xander and William continued talking until Xander’s mood began to lift. "It seemed so easy right after you moved here and we became 'The Three Holdbacks' you know? The only thing we had in common then was the fact that we'd all been held back in school at one time or another." Xander pondered over his thoughts and then started talking to William again. "Makes you wonder if we would all be where we are today if principal Snyder hadn't called all of us into his office that day. I still don't see why he felt the need to threaten you anyway. I mean, yeah, me and Faith were slackers -- always had been. But the only reason you had been held back was because you had such bad grades after your mom died. He really was a jerk, wasn't he?"

"That I can agree with. We can't live on what ifs though. If we do, we will just be living in the past for the rest of our lives. Although I'd love to be able to say that if I hadn't gotten drunk maybe I would have been there, to save her. I can't say that. It happened the way it did all we can do is find her killer. Believe me when I say that whoever it is, they will pay for what they did."

The mood sobered once again with the thought of Faith being gone for good.

******************************************************************************************************************

William had made sure Xander got home after their conversation. It had hurt to know that Faith had been cheating on him with Xander. In the end though, he knew Xander was putting himself through enough pain, without William adding to it. He had decided with everything that had happened there was just no use in getting angry over it.

William parked in front of Giles' house. As he got out of the car, he thought he caught the glimpse of a shadow on the steps. He approached the front steps and moved so the light could shine on the shadow. He was taken aback when he realized that it was Buffy, and that she was asleep on the steps. He quickly checked his watch and saw that it was two in the morning. What was she doing here? She should have been in bed. William crouched down and tried to nudge her awake, but she continued to sleep.

"Should’ve known once you’re asleep, an earthquake wouldn't wake you up." He mumbled as he scooped Buffy into his arms. She roused a little but then snuggled into his chest. He looked down at her face; she was just a beautiful sleeping as she was awake. William couldn't help wondering what it would be like to wake up next to her in the mornings. He stopped that line of thinking though as his body began to respond to some of the images he'd conjured up. William resituated Buffy’s position in his arms so that he wouldn’t drop her, and went to the door. He was glad he hadn't put his keys in his pocket because he wasn't sure how he would have gotten the door open then. As he walked into the house, he kicked the door closed behind him. It made a banging sound as it closed and William waited to make sure Buffy stayed asleep. She did, so he moved on.

He laid her on the guest bed and slowly removed her fuzzy slippers. He couldn't imagine why she had come over dressed in just her pajamas and slippers, but he figured he'd hear the story in the morning. William then left the room to change into his own bed clothes. He figured he'd take his shower in the morning. He was too tired right now. After throwing on a pair of sweats and tying them off, he went to check on Buffy before going to bed himself. Instead of finding her asleep like he'd expected, he found her curled up tight against one side of the bed crying. William quickly lay next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't know what else to do.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer him, but he persisted. Finally she explained to him about what her mom had revealed to her earlier that night.

"I'm just so lost William. I don't know what to do. Why didn't she tell me before now?"

"Well, did you ask her why she hadn't?"

"No. I was so confused after she told me that I left and told her I'd be back."

"You should have stayed and talked with her. Come on Buffy. You of all people should know that blood doesn't matter. In all these years, we have all become family to each other. No it's not the conventional kind, but we are a family. Joyce loves you, whether you’re her biological daughter or not. I mean, look at me and Giles – okay, bad example -- better make it Tara and Giles. Giles and Tara share no blood but he has always been her father. This will work out. I promise." He watched as Buffy's tears began to subside. He knew that she was finally looking at the whole situation and not just reacting to the shock of it.

"You’re right, aren't you?"

"As always." Buffy smiled then and he knew that he had gotten through to her. Then she punched him. "Hey, now! What was that for?"

"Being a cocky know it all." She gave him a mischievous look and started tickling him.

"Hey...Hey....Stop.that.right.NOW!" She ignored his protests and continued to tickle him. William pushed up with his body and flipped Buffy onto her back. As he flipped her, he grabbed her hands and held them above her head.

"Oh no! Now I'm at the mercy of The Big Bad! Oh what ever shall I do?" Buffy cried out in mock terror.

"You faint like any good damsel in distress?"

"Nope! I fight harder." She started bucking her hips to get him off of her, but he was still able to hold her down. She continued to fight it though, so he did the only thing he knew would make her stop. He leaned over and starting kissing her. William was right. After a few seconds more of wiggling, Buffy finally gave into the kiss. As the passion built in the room though, William wondered if the kiss had been such a good idea. He was already a little uncomfortable in the lower area because of her wiggling. He quickly pulled back and started to stand to leave. Instead he was stopped by a hand clutched around his bicep.

"Don't leave please?"

He looked at her and knew that he had to. "Buffy, if I don't leave now..."

"William, will you just hold me?"
William thought about saying no but then he looked into her eyes. She appeared so tired and he wondered if that was what Tara had seen in him after their mother died. He would bet it had been. He wanted Buffy to get sleep and he was afraid she wouldn't if she didn't calm down. So he walked to the other side of the bed and slid in beside Buffy. He held her close to him, and ran his fingers through her hair. Before he fell asleep, he murmured, "Love 'ya."

William loitered behind Buffy as she stood in the doorway to her sister’s apartment. Buffy continued on in while William stood back and looked around the apartment. He noticed that the room hadn't changed any since he'd been there that day almost three weeks before, he even noticed a few things he hadn't before. Joyce and Buffy both stood by the couch which sat almost in the middle of the living room. Also he noticed that the windows reached from the floor to the ceiling, with heavy curtains to cover them. William smiled knowing that had probably been the reasoning for Faith to get the apartment. She had always liked big windows, so she could watch the world. The curtains though were so the world couldn't see her, that's at least how he saw it. As he continued to look around he realized how much his life had changed since his first visit here, and it all had started here. He wondered if that was why he now felt like an outsider standing in Faith's apartment. William put it behind him though, he was here to lend support to Buffy and Joyce. So he took the moving boxes he'd been carrying and set them in the living room. Across the room he saw Joyce and Buffy talking about where to start.

Although the last couple of days had been a bit confusing for Buffy, she was getting used to the fact that Joyce wasn't her biological mother. Buffy had gone and talked to Joyce the morning after William had found her on Giles’ front steps. After several hours of conversation between the two women, they had decided to take it slow. Joyce had told Buffy what she could about Buffy's biological mother, but there wasn't much Joyce knew. Although Joyce had offered to help Buffy find her mom, Buffy had decided to let things settle down first.

Buffy confided in William that she still felt hurt and betrayed because she hadn't been told earlier. She went on to note that she was putting her feelings a bit to the side for now. When he had asked why she had simply said 'Joyce has lost one daughter already she doesn't need to lose another'. William took in the scene in front of him: Joyce was laughing at something that had been said, and Buffy was giggling non stop. William waited until they had calmed down before addressing Joyce.

"Mrs. Summers, where do you want me to start?" William felt bad as he watched Joyce's expression turn from happy to the somber one that had been haunting her face these last few weeks.

"How about starting in the library. Faith didn't keep much there but photo albums and her school books." Joyce started to walk towards the bedroom then but stopped. "Oh, and William, if you see something that meant something to you, take it. I don't know what I will do with most of this, so..." She trailed off then and William gave her a nod that he understood. Joyce gave a thankful smile and turned to the fridge instead of continuing to the bedroom.

While Joyce worked on clearing out the kitchen, William walked towards the small alcove in the corner of the living room. He hadn't noticed it the time he had been at the apartment. Now as he looked at it, he knew that Faith had spent a lot of time there. There was a small bookcase in one corner and across from it lay a black beanbag chair. Above the bookcase was a peg board filled with pictures of all the gang. There was a low window right behind the beanbag chair that overlooked the sidewalk in front of the building. He could just picture Faith sitting there and making hilarious comments about the people as they walked past. William walked over and pulled the beanbag chair closer to the library, he figured he'd leave the pegboard for later. He sat down and started moving books into a box. He came across one that looked like a photo album but when he opened it, he found that it was a journal.

"Buffy!"

Buffy's voice came from somewhere across the apartment. "William, I’m a bit busy. What do ya need?"

"I found something you and your mom might not want packed up with the rest of this stuff." He heard an ‘eep’ and then something fall and crash followed by several curses. Moments later, Joyce entered the alcove, smiling. "So what was that?" William asked as he pointed towards where he thought the noise had come from.

"I'm not allowed to tell, but I'll say this; a spider and an arm full of glasses don't mix well when you are talking about Buffy."

William laughed when he imagined Buffy jumping sky high at seeing a spider and dropping the glasses. "So let me guess. There are no more glasses left, right?"

Joyce chuckled and nodded her head. "So what did you find?"

"This." William handed Joyce the book and then continued to place other books into the boxes.

William looked around for Joyce once he realized that she was still in the room but uncharacteristically quiet. She had moved over towards the window which left her back to him. He could see her reflection in the window and watched as her hand came up and wiped something from her face. Joyce closed the book and turned back to William.

"I'm going to go out for a bit. Will you and Buffy be okay here?"

"Yeah, sure."
****************************************************************************

Joyce sat down on a bench in the park located just around the block from Faith's apartment. It was a short walk so she hadn’t had to go far. She knew that if she took too long, either Buffy or William would come looking for her. Joyce leaned against the back of the bench and tried to relax. She wasn't sure what she was going to discover by reading her eldest daughter’s journal, but for some reason she felt she had to. Maybe it was to just bring peace to her own spirit that they hadn't ended on bad terms. Joyce flipped to the entry for the night of their fight, but that entry had nothing to do with what happened between them. When Joyce saw what it was about she had moved on. It was none of her business what had been going on between Faith and Xander. The next entry did pertain to the confrontation between Joyce and Faith, and it was dated a few days after it had occurred.

Well I did it again, I screwed everything up. Yep I did it this time. I don't remember much but I know I showed up on mom's doorstep. She wasn't too pleased to see me though. I know I must have said something awful because she hasn't called to check up on me yet. I can't even begin to wonder what I must have said. She's probably royally pissed right now and I don't blame her really. I know I messed it all up, I was clean and she had been proud of me. I just don't think I can keep making her proud. I'm so messed up, all I want is for this to go away and instead it keeps building. Why can't the world just disappear for a bit? I doubt if I'll ever get the answer. All I know is that I love my mom and my family but I just don't know how to face this. I don't know what to do.

The entry ended there and Joyce found herself wiping more tears from her face. She had known that life had been hard for her daughter but she hadn't realized just how much. She thought that Faith had been doing better, but her words indicated that she had actually been getting worse. Joyce thought it sounded like Faith had been ready to give up. Joyce hoped that hadn't been the case though; her daughter was strong and could fight anything. As Joyce reread the entry, she began to see another side of her daughter. A side Joyce knew Faith kept hidden from others. A side that showed Faith on a world spinning so fast that all she wanted was to get off of it. Joyce started to read on, but suddenly stopped when a specific word caught her eye.

'kill'

"Oh, dear Lord!" She quickly walked back toward the apartment. She had to show this to someone else and get their opinion.
****************************************************************************************************************

William stood up and stretched. His back had been in a curved position the whole time he had been going through and packing the books, and he couldn't help but feel as though his back would be stuck in that curved position for the rest of the day. Once out of the alcove, he noticed that Joyce had already left the room, so he went in search of Buffy.

William found her in the office sitting at the desk. "Whatcha doing?"

"Just going through the mail. Figured I'd leave the breakable stuff to you and mom."

"Oh yeah, heard you met a spider."

"Don't go there or I will bring up many of your past frights." Buffy gave him a look of warning.

"Tell me one time that you caught me scared of something."

"Well there was the time...no, that was Xander. Oh how about when...nope, that was Xander too. Huh. I can't remember right now, but I’ll remember something soon."

William chuckled. "Promises promises, Summers."

Buffy continued to go through the mail while William walked around the office looking at the few things that were there. A frame on the desk caught his eye. The frame held a picture of Faith, which looked to have been taken when she was about seven or eight. Buffy was also in the picture, sitting between Faith’s legs and clutching a pink pig, known as Mr. Gordo, in her arms.

"Buffy, when did you get that awful pig anyway?"

"That pig is not awful! He is a piece of my childhood, and I have had him since I was two. That picture was taken soon after I got him. Why'd you ask?"

"No real reason, just making conversation."

Buffy gave him a perturbed look. "William if you want to say something, just say it. Stop this run around. You've been doing it all day."

"I don't know what you’re talking about."

"Whenever you beat around the bush like this, it means you’re trying to ask about or say something, but you’re not sure how. That's what I’m talking about. So, are you going to talk to me or continue asking nonsensical questions?" Buffy turned in the swivel chair and gave him a look that brooked no argument.

"I talked with Xander last night, I hadn't wanted to tell you but I think you should know. The police found out that Faith had been at Riley's the day she died." William hadn't been sure how to broach the subject, but Buffy had picked up on the fact that he was holding something back. Now he watched her closely, hoping that she didn't take it too hard.

"You’re, joking...right?" She spoke through her laughter which William hadn't expected.

"No I'm not. What do you find funny 'bout this? I figured you'd be pissed or heartbroken, anything other than this."

"Oh, I'm pissed. I just find it funny that he accused me of cheating and he had actually been the one that was cheating. Very ironic isn't it?" Suddenly her face slackened with a thought and she soon was stuttering out a question. "He didn't...you know…. He wasn't the murderer, was he?"

Before William could answer, Joyce walked through the door to the office. William noticed that her face was a bit pale, and wondered why. All thought regarding Buffy's question was quickly tossed aside as he worriedly looked to Joyce. "Joyce, what's wrong?"

"I think you should read this then let me know what you think."

William took the journal and started to read.


Another one of those damn letters came today. I can't believe the nerve of this person. They keep repeating that I have taken someone from them. I have no idea who though. The latest one read like this:

Dear Bitch

You have taken him from me and you will pay. He is mine. I told him that once and I stand by that now. This is your last warning. You will not have him, I will kill you soon.

Until your blood covers my hands.


Can you believe the nerve of this person? I'm getting tired of these letters, they're just getting annoying. I have no idea who it is, though. I figure it's an ex or some jerk like that. Really though, whoever they are, they are pissing me off. I'm sick of the threats. I'd think about asking Xander for his help, but after what happened last week I figure he doesn't want to talk to me. Really though, I doubt if the letters will lead to anything. It's definitely not worth putting up with a pissed off Xander. Anyway I’m sure I can deal with whoever it is. I think it's time to go visit Willy's though and get drunk. I'll be Five by Five.


William looked up at Joyce and then back at the journal one last time before going over to the phone. He quickly dialed Xander's number.

Buffy was the first to speak. "What is going on? Mom, what was in the journal?"

William responded to Buffy’s inquiry when he noticed Joyce fumble with what to tell her. "Faith was getting death threat letters. Since none of us knew that Faith kept a journal, I doubt if Xander knows about it. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't because I think he would have told me."

Suddenly the other line finally picked up. "Officer Harris here, how may I help you?"

"Hey Xan. I think you need to get over here and search Faith's apartment again. She was getting death threat letters."

"What! What do you mean death threats?"

"I mean we just found Faith's journal and there is an entry that says something about getting some sort of letter."

"So what makes you think that they were threatening to kill her."

"Oh maybe the phrase 'I will kill you' gave me a clue." William knew he was being sarcastic, but this was a new clue that would hopefully lead to finding Faith’s killer. All he wanted was for Xander to get his ass over to the apartment; but instead Xander was asking petty questions. "Listen mate, just get over here, okay?"

"Fine. I'll be there."

William hung up and turned back to Joyce and Buffy. "He'll be here soon, as long as the donuts don't lure him away." It was supposed to be funny, but it just came out flat. After everything that had been happening, it seemed like things just kept coming. He just wished that the Summers could move on, but he figured that wouldn't happen until Faith's killer was caught.

************************************************************************************************************

Xander sat at his desk. Looking through Faith’s journal, they had found close to ten entries that had said something about receiving a letter. In their search of the apartment, Xander and William had only found five letters. The earliest entry pertaining to any sort of letter was dated close to two years before. Xander couldn't believe that if it had been going on that long, Faith hadn't taken it more seriously. He thought that she was smarter than that. He wished she had taken it more seriously though, then maybe she'd be alive today.

The hardest thing to believe was that Faith had been cheating on William that long. Xander had really only thought that Faith’s infidelity had been a recent thing. He wondered how she had hidden it all this time from everyone. Had Faith been good at hiding it or had they all just not been paying attention? Xander hoped that they could find the answer though, and soon because he was tired of hearing some of the rumors going around the office about Faith. The officers assigned to the case were looking through everything again hoping to find some evidence as to who, besides William, Faith had been dating the last couple of years. Xander had already added himself to that list, but he doubted if it mattered. If all of this began at least two years prior to Faith’s death, then that meant Xander and Faith hadn't even been seeing each other at the time.

"Hey Harris! So you dated the hot stiff?"

All Xander saw was red as he looked up at his coworker, Warren Meers. Meers was as chauvinistic as a man could come, and ugly as hell. Meers had pissed Xander off many times because of the way he acted. Normally Xander could keep his anger in check, but this had been the month from hell and he was sick of holding it all in. Xander was out of the seat with his hands around Meers’ throat and pinned his body to the cubicle wall.

"Meers, I’d suggest you take your piddly little ass and get out of here before I skin you alive. Is that understood?"

"Oh, touchy about your whore, huh? I'm sorry. Thought you'd like to compare notes. See which one of us had the better payoff?"

Xander couldn't even see past the anger in him now and he let that all come out as his fist pummeled Meers’ face. Xander was only slightly aware that they had attracted an audience during their 'talk'. Xander slammed his fist into Meers’ gut and then knocked him to the floor. He looked down at the bloody mess that was Meers’ face.

"You ever talk that way about her again and you will end up with worse than a couple of punches. Understood?'

Meers nodded his head, but Xander had already started back to his desk. He was sick of sitting in this stuffy office just looking over file after file. He wasn't officially even supposed to be looking at the Summers’ file, but he had been anyway. He still felt guilty for not being able to save Faith. No matter what William had said that night in the bar, Xander couldn't dispel the guilt he felt. Xander grabbed his coat off the back of his chair and started walking towards the exit. It would be good to spend a night in with Willow. They hadn't done that in a while and Xander hoped it would take his mind off of his problems.

"Not so fast, Harris. Get your ass in my office now! We have some things to talk about." Xander thought about ignoring his boss. "NOW HARRIS!!"

It looked like Xander wouldn't be going home as early as he'd thought.

*******************************************************************************************************

In the darkness, the shadowed figure stood outside of the Summers’ house. She was pissed that after everything she had done, William still hadn't figured it out yet. William hadn't figured out that he was hers and no one else’s. She thought he had dismissed the hoity-toity little blonde back at the cemetery the day of the funeral, but no, she was back.

The shadow watched as ‘her’ guy put his arms around the blonde’s waist, and pulled her close for a kiss. Then they continued on up the walk and into the house. She had to show them. Show them all that they couldn't have him. Oh, she would teach them all not to steal what was hers. First off, the newest bitch that had sunk her claws into William needed to be dealt with.

The shadow diminished into the darkness once again and went on her way, but she'd be back and she would have what was hers.

******************************************************************************************

Buffy walked into the house and was suddenly pulled back against William. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to his body. William leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"Are you ok?"

Buffy leaned back into his body and left him hold some of her weight. It had been a hard day for them all. She sighed. "I think I will be. It's just a lot to take in. I mean, I thought everything was getting back to a little bit of normal and then today happens." She turned around and looked him in the eyes.

"Do you really have to go tomorrow?"

She watched Williams eyes focus downwards, and he nodded his head. "Sorry, but yeah I do. I promised Wes that I would help him out. He and Fred are supposed to finally leave on their honeymoon. Fred would kill me if I caused them to put if off any longer. She's already had to wait six months because Wes's job. If she doesn’t get Wes on that plane, he will find another excuse to put it off. For some reason, that man seems to think that where he works would fall apart if he weren't there."

Buffy attempted to give off her most pouty look. "So that means no talking you into staying, huh?" She found herself pressed up against the wall as soon as the question was spoken.

"Ooh look at that lip. I'm going to get it." Get it he did, too. He grabbed it between his teeth and lightly nipped. Then he moved on to softly kiss the sting from the nips away. Then they were kissing passionately with a little petting here and there. Soon William pulled back to catch his breath.

Buffy was the first to speak. "I know you promised. I just wish sometimes you could be a little selfish." Buffy heard William chuckle, and felt it vibrate through his chest, where her head lay. Buffy felt his hands travel down her back and rest on her butt. William pulled her flush against him and gave a little wiggle. William’s actions almost distracted Buffy from what he said next, feeling how he had reacted to just the little bit of kissing and petting they'd done.

"Believe me baby, I wish I could be selfish. I'm really beginning to hate this little scenario of us
putting our relationship on hold."

It was Buffy's turn to chuckle now. She looked up at William and knew what to do next. She pulled William's face closer to her own and started to place small kisses from the corner of his mouth, along his jaw, back to his ear. "You know, I think we could throw that little scenario out the window. If you want to, I mean…." She rubbed her knee up the inside of his leg and then back down. "I think I know you want me." To emphasize what she meant, she let her hand wander to the front of his pants and lightly grasped the bulge there. Buffy heard William's groan and watched as he closed his eyes and tried to get himself under control.

He finally spoke in a small growl. "You know Summers, you can be a real minx."

"Yeah I can be, you wanna see how well?" She must have hit a nerve because she was again positioned up against the wall and his hands seemed to be everywhere at once. "You know this position is getting boring. I think just about every time we've made out, it's been against this wall."

She knew the only other place had been the guest bed, but that had been when he was drunk so she wasn't counting it. He picked her up and started carrying her up the stairs. As he carried her, she continued to kiss and nip at his lips. He only took three steps before he almost stumbled, a reaction to her getting a bit overzealous with her lips around his ear.

"You keep that up and you will be making out on the stairs instead."

She chuckled but was suddenly interrupted by the phone. She thought about letting it ring, but remembered it could be her mother.

"I should probably get that. It could be mom." She watched as he acknowledged that it was a good idea and let her down. She knew it wasn't easy though because all she wanted to do was say 'fuck the phone.' She couldn't stop the chuckle that left her mouth when she realized how awful that had sounded in her head. She was actually glad she hadn't said it. Buffy must of picked the phone up not even noticing it because, she was brought out of her thoughts by the voice coming through the phone.

"Buffy? Buffy? What is so funny?"

Buffy looked back at William. He sat himself on the bottom step and was giving her a quizzical look. She decided to explain it later though. "Oh, nothing Willow. So what’s going on?"

"Oh, nothing much. Xander called and told me about today and said you could probably use a friend to talk to tonight."

"Yeah well it was a hard day but things are looking…." Buffy looked over to William and said. "up."

Buffy watched as William's eyes widened and looked at her, just daring her to go on. She turned back to the phone though and listened to Willow. It wasn't long until she had finished talking with her and had said goodbye.

"So what did she want?"

"She just wanted to know if I wanted to go shopping tomorrow."

"Oh. Now what was that about your night looking up?" William's eyebrow lifted to emphasize the word ‘up’.

"Well it was. I don't know if it is any more." William was soon kissing her again and then pulled
back and gave Buffy a lust filled look. "What about now?"

Just as William started to kiss Buffy again, the front door opened and her mother walked in. "I seem to keep finding you two in that position. Except this time it's on the opposite wall."

Two bloody hells were whispered as all thoughts of the night looking 'up' dissipated into the air.

Buffy was sitting in the kitchen the next morning. She was supposed to be going shopping with Willow later, but she hadn't been able to sleep well. Thoughts of what she and William had almost done kept running through her mind and, as a result, she hadn't slept well the night before. Buffy knew she probably would have gone through with it too had it not been for her mother showing up. Now as she looked back, Buffy knew it would have been the wrong move, because last night would have been about comfort not love.

With all that life had thrown at her lately, William had been there to console her through it all. She knew that's what she had wanted the night before; she had wanted to feel something other than the blackness that had been her life lately. However, looking at it from a different perspective, she knew that spending the night with William wouldn't have helped at all. Instead it would have made it worse, because she still would have woken up with the hurt and uncertainty from the occurences of the last month.

Buffy couldn't believe how much one month could change her life. As of right now she sat drinking her morning coffee going over why she hadn't slept with her sister's ex. It seemed totally wrong and yet she couldn't help it. She had fallen in love with William so long ago. Although, if she admitted it to herself, it had started out as a small school girl crush. However, spending this last month with him had shown her everything she needed to know.

Buffy had seen William in some of his best and worst moments. He had helped her come to terms with her sister’s death, and although that wasn't even close to being completely dealt with, Buffy knew she had at least started healing. They had mourned together this last month, and through that she had seen a lot more of William then she could have ever imagined. She came to realize, although they had been close friends for a long time, there had been a lot of things he had kept from even her. Buffy was just learning who this man was whom she had loved as a friend, but now meant more than any friend could. She knew that William had been right. There was time later for them to be physically involved, but for now she had a lot to learn about ‘William the man’ who would be her lover. The same man, and yet she knew that wasn't truly the case.

She was taking this small separation for what it was, thinking time for the both of them. Time for them to slow down and make the final decision of whether this was what they wanted or not. Buffy already knew her answer. She loved William and pretty much nothing else mattered. She knew that in the end, they would be together. Now, she only hoped that William would see that they belonged together too.

Buffy took a sip of her coffee and spit it back in her cup.

"Ick!"

She quickly looked at the clock after realizing that her coffee had gone cold during her little mind wandering. Sure enough, despite the fact that she'd been up early, she was now running late. Buffy quickly dumped her coffee in the sink, quickly followed by the mug itself. She then rushed upstairs to get ready, most likely Willow would be early and rip Buffy a new one if she wasn't ready, and that just wouldn't be pretty.
************************************************************************************************

William had been sitting on the plane for the last hour thinking over everything that had happened to him over the last month. He had gone back to Sunnydale just to see his friend graduate, not to have his whole life up ended. Yet that's what had happened not two hours after showing up in town.

William's life before going back had been filled with what he would have thought was the perfect existence.

He had a family that stood by him and loved him. He had a ‘father’ who he was happily argumentative with, and a sister for whom he cared very deeply. Now he had Joyce to add into the mix, although really she had always been like a mother to William. So, by the end of his trip, his family was really the only thing that had stayed mostly the same.

He had a girlfriend of three years waiting for him to come home. William had even envisioned her face and how it would have looked when he surprised her. Yes, she had shown him that look, but she definitely didn't come jumping into his arms like he'd imagined. Instead she had been somewhat shell shocked, but most of all she'd looked devastated. He didn't really realize that until now though. As William thought back on that day, he could see it in her eyes. Faith's eyes had always revealed a mysteriousness about her, but that day all he'd seen was a blackness in them. He had thought then that it was lust, but now he wondered if she'd already been broken from it all; drugs, pain, lies, and just life in general. In the end, had Faith already been dead the day he saw her in that bed? Is that why she had never spoken of the letters? Had she really been wishing for death to come? Had she been ready that night in the alley to die, and maybe even allowed it to take her?

Before returning to Sunnydale, William had a best friend that he had trusted to the end, but now he just didn't know. Xander had cheated with Faith. Even if Xander did love Faith, he had still gone behind William's back and slept with her. No matter how much William tried to put a good spin on it, he couldn't see past the feeling of betrayal. In the end, that had been what had happened and William just wasn't sure where to go next.

He wanted to be angry about it all, and yet couldn't find it in him. He wanted to yell and scream about his life not being as perfect as he thought, but knew it wouldn't help. In the end, Faith was dead, and whether she had wanted it or not, someone had chosen for her. Xander had willingly deceived William and slept with Faith, knowing in the end it could cost him his friendship with William. He knew that somewhere in the last month he had forgiven them both though, so how could William be angry with them now? He couldn't decide when he'd come to that conclusion but he had. He felt no ill will for either of them, but instead felt sorrow for what they had lost. He knew now more then ever what Xander was going through, because he now had it too.

Buffy.

The one person who had become a constant in his life so soon after arriving back in Sunnydale.

He had fallen in love with her, that much he knew. The thing he didn't know though was why. Why had she suddenly gone from one of his closest friends to almost lover? Why had it happened now and not years ago? Why was it, even now knowing he had all of these question running a marathon in his head, that Buffy still seemed to out shine it all? He kept seeing her crying, or pinned against the wall with her eyes so filled with longing and all he wanted to do was kiss her again. It had been so hard not to just ask her to leave with him the previous night. However, William knew they both needed this time apart to think through everything.

William also knew that no matter how much he loved her, he still had to get past the guilt of being with her. He had to know in his own head, not just his heart, that they were meant to be. Otherwise, all of this would have been for nothing, and they would both end up hurting worse than before. William knew that if things ended badly with him and Buffy, he wouldn't be able to go on living. Because in the end, he had allowed her past so many previously erected emotional walls, that his heart was now open, and he knew with all the pain he'd been through so far, that he'd not make it through more. He knew that if Buffy hurt him that it'd be like a stake through the heart. It would be slow and painful but in the end, he'd die and become part of the ground once again as all men do.

William felt a chill run over his skin, and suddenly felt very alone. He wanted to be able to hold Buffy right now and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her that although he had all these doubts and questions about them he knew in the end they would be together. In the end they wouldn't let anything come between them or break them apart, because if they did then this had all been for nothing. Mostly though William wanted the reassurance that Buffy would actually be there, but he knew for now he would have to go on faith that she would be.

************************************************************************************************
Buffy went to answer the door after hearing the doorbell ring. Figuring it was Willow and still needing to finish getting ready, she answered the door without even looking to see who it was.

"Willow just sit in the living room for a bit I am almost ready." Buffy was half way up the stairs when she heard a distinctly male voice.

"Ah Miss?"

Buffy turned around and realized that instead of Willow standing at the door it was a man in a pair of jeans and a blue buttoned shirt. "Who are you?"

"I'm Matt. I have a package for a..." Buffy watched as the man reached into his pockets and pulled out what looked like a yellow Post-it note. "Ah, yeah, a Miss Buffy Summers. Would she happen to be here?"

"Yeah I'm her. What is the package?"

"I'm not really sure miss, I was just told to drop it off, and make sure you got it personally."

Buffy thought about protesting but she noticed the clock then. If she didn't finish getting ready she wouldn't be ready for when Willow finally did show. "Fine just set it in the living room I have to finish up."

"But Miss I was told I had to make sure you got it and opened it. I..."

"I promise to go through it later. I don't have time for this right now though, just put it there and leave. Please. "

Buffy noticed that the man had wanted to protest, but she guessed he had decided not to, because he brought the cardboard box into the house. She watched as he rolled the box into the house on a trolley, and she thought it seemed quite big for anything she might receive. Noticing the time on the hall clock distracted her from that train of thought, and she was soon rushing the guy along. After finally getting the delivery man to leave, she gave the box a quick once over and quickly moved on. She just didn't have the time to deal with it right then.

Had she been more observant she might have noticed the air holes, or even the lettering across the back that said 'Do Not Wait To Open' in bold red. Had she waited but a minute longer, she might have seen the box start to sway back and forth. It took about ten minutes before the box fell over and the contents came spilling out. Buffy had a guest.

It was almost fifteen minutes later when Buffy looked at the clock and felt somewhat relieved - it looked like Willow was the one running on the tardy side along with her for once. Buffy did consider for a passing moment that this wasn't normal for Willow, but she wasn't going to complain about it. For once she would be ready before Willow even got there.

Buffy had just finished up with her make up and was putting her shoes on when there was a sudden crash. She thought it sounded like glass breaking, so she quickly ran out of her room and downstairs. When she got to the living room she found it a mess. The table that normally sat by the entrance way was overturned and the vase that sat on top of it was smashed all over the floor. Buffy noticed that the table hadn't been the only thing knocked over. She moved over to the small fake tree that her mother kept in the one corner and picked it up.

"What the heck happened here?"

As she continued to look around her eyes fell on the box that had been delivered not twenty minutes before. It was toppled over and it looked like its contents had been strewn across the whole living room. Buffy wasn't sure what was going on but she was starting to get nervous. She began to walk toward the portable phone to call Xander. With everything that had been going on, it had her on edge, and although it was probably nothing she wasn't going to take any chances. She only made it halfway to the phone though, when suddenly her feet were knocked out from under her. Buffy's head hit something hard and all she saw next was complete darkness.

*********************************************************************************************************

Willow was running around her apartment, not only had she actually overslept, but she had also misplaced her keys. She didn't know how though, because she was sure she'd put them on her dresser. Willow was now retracing her steps from the night before, or at least the ones she could remember. Right now she was stuck in the living room. Although she had already been through her bedroom and the living room several times, she was again rechecking the rooms. Willow had even gone as far as to look inside the fridge because she had nowhere else to check. They hadn't been there though. Now as she finished up with her fourth go through of the living room she was once again going to go through her bedroom.

"I swear if Xander moved them somewhere or this is another of Faith's jokes..." She suddenly realized what she'd said and stopped dead. It had been so off the cuff that she hadn't thought about it. She smiled though because she knew this actually would have been something Faith would have pulled on her, just because she was one of Buffy's friends. Willow got stuck in memories of Faith pulling jokes through out the years. It had only gotten worse when Willow had moved into Xander's apartment and Faith would stop by regularly. It had been an ongoing thing for Faith to move something; normally it would be school work or something just as important. Then she'd put it back after an exhaustive search had been conducted.

Willow was brought out of the memories though when the stupid talking clock in the kitchen crowed. Sure enough, when she looked at her watch she realized that she was now twenty minutes late.

"Well, Buffy will definitely gloat about this one."

Willow continued back to her room one more time. Her eyes caught sight of a glint on the dresser. She looked towards the ceiling and yelled.

"You are kiddin' me, right?"

She released a small growl when she confirmed what she'd thought. There on her dresser sat her keys, right where she had thought she'd placed them the night before. She picked them up and threw them in her pocket, then looked up at the ceiling.

"Faith if you are haunting me you can stop it anytime because this isn't funny."

Willow quickly walked out of the bedroom, grabbed her purse, and headed for her car. She couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up inside her though as she raced down the stairs. She knew that Faith wasn't haunting her, but it had been a tension release and Willow was grateful for what ever had caused it, whether it had been her own absentmindedness and blind eyes that missed the keys or something else working behind it all to give her something to laugh at in this hectic life she'd been living of late. She had reached her car and quickly called through to Buffy's house, but got the answering machine.

"Hey Buff listen I know I'm late you can gloat later, just know I'm on my way."

She hung up and started the car. She didn't know why Buffy hadn't answered but it didn't really bother her.

"She's probably still rushing around also, thinking she'll be late. Most likely she will be too." Willow chuckled a bit as she looked both ways before pulling out of the parking lot onto the road.
*******************************************************************************************

Xander sat at his desk going over what had happened the night before. He was pissed off with himself for letting his anger get the best of him. It had been so long since he had really let any feelings show he supposed it had all just been building up in him. It still irked him that he had allowed the volcano of anger to blow up last night at work. Although he knew Meers had deserved it, he knew it had been a mistake.

"I should have never let him get to me."

"That is one thing you've got right there sweetie."

Xander looked up into the eyes of the one and only Anya Jenkins. If there was one person you didn't want talking about you, it was her. She was blunt and liked to tell everyone your life story without even realizing she was doing it. All of which meant you really couldn't get angry with her, because that was just the way she was.

She was also in charge of Faith's murder, and he knew she was the best for it. They didn't call her a vengeance demon for nothing. Anya always sought vengeance on those that had been wronged, and she never gave up on a case. Xander knew that right now he really didn't want to hear what she thought of him. He knew though that there would be no stopping her.

"Anya, what is it you want?"

"Well honey, you know what I want." She gave him a coy look.

That was another thing that Anya did, she talked openly and zealously about sex. Oh and she could turn anything you said into an innuendo. Just as Xander was about to ask her to cool it though, she spoke again.

"In the end, I don't think I would want that from you. I don't like sleeping with men who don't fight for what they want." With that, an envelope skidded across his over-stacked desk and stopped in front of him. Before he could ask what she was talking about, she was gone. He picked up the envelope and undid the clasp on the back. He attempted to dump the contents onto his desk, but nothing came out. Looking inside, he found that there were several sheets of paper. Once he pulled them out, he realized that they were pages from Faith’s diary. Xander also knew that whatever was written on them should be read in private. Xander knew more than likely they were about him, and that was why Anya had discretely brought them to his attention. That meant he wanted to read them without an interruption. He quickly stuffed them back into the envelope, and clasped it shut.

Two hours later he'd finally finished up with his work. Xander reached into his desk and extracted the envelope again. He grabbed his coat and threw it on. He knew the perfect place to read without interruption, and it had been years since he'd been there.
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Willow had already been parked outside of Buffy’s house for five minutes. She had honked her horn several times, but Buffy had still not shown herself. It had been long enough that Willow was worried. She walked up to the door and knocked just to make sure. After a few moments passed with still no Buffy, Willow went looking for the extra key. Sure enough it was under the back porch in amongst the rocks. She went back to the front door and unlocked it.

"Buffy!" Willow didn’t hear anything though, in fact the house sounded eerily quiet. Willow made sure the door was closed before she started towards the stairs continuing to call out Buffy's name. As she walked past the living room, she noticed Buffy out of the corner of her eye. Willow rushed to Buffy who was sprawled out on the floor. Willow saw a little blood but it didn't look like Buffy had lost much.

"Buffy! Buffy come on! Wake up!" Willow tried shaking Buffy, hoping to wake her up. After a few shakes Buffy did start to come around. "Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy was slowly coming to and she mumbled "Huh?"

"Buffy, you were on the floor passed out. What happened?" Willow had helped Buffy sit up, but she still seemed a bit disoriented.

"Willow, am I late?"

Willow couldn't stop the laugh that came out of her. "Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried that you were out of it. Can you remember what happened?"

"Yeah I think so. I was getting ready, and there was a huge crash."

Willow looked around and finally noticed the different things that had been knocked over. Willow hadn’t noticed the stuff before, as she had been too worried about Buffy. Willow turned her attention back to Buffy, who seemed to be coming around a lot better.

"So, I checked in here and found this mess; then suddenly my feet were knocked out from under me."

"What? How is that? Was there someone else here?"

"No, not since the delivery guy earlier."

"What delivery guy?" Willow interrupted.

"Well, you know I might get to tell you if you stopped being all jumpy girl and interrupting me. Okay, well as I was saying, that box over there..." Buffy pointed towards the wreck of things by the knocked over table. "I don't know how it ended up open and on its side, because I had the delivery guy set it down upright and unopened. I had been trying to get ready so I wouldn't be late."

Willow got up and walked over to the box and started going through the contents. Everything in it though, made no sense. She was just turning back to Buffy to explain what was in the box when there was a noise from inside the closet.

They both jumped, and Willow watched as Buffy wobbled a bit on her feet, but soon steadied herself.

"What was that?"

"Willow, stop asking questions. Just grab that..." Buffy pointed toward the lamp, and Willow did as she said. Then Willow noticed Buffy walk toward the closet door. Willow stopped her with yet another question.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh!"

Buffy continued towards the closet and Willow followed her. Although she thought this was stupid she figured she wouldn't be able to talk Buffy out of it. Just then, Buffy swung the closet door open, and Willow let out a scream.

Buffy just said "Oh, good Lord!"

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A/N: Hi all I wanted to let you all know that Following Shadows was nominated over at Spuffy Awards, and the voting has now begun. They will be accepting votes until June 11, but please follow the rules that they have set up.

Here is the site:

Spuffy Awards Vote Here

I also want to thank everyone that has been leaving me reviews and e-mailing me. All of you are wonderful and I enjoy hearing from you. This story wouldn't be as good as it is though without my wonderul beta's. So a big shout out to them also. Thank You!.
ttyl
bcdspuffy

Buffy stood at the closet, staring, with a look of utter disbelief on her face, at what she saw in front of her. While Willow had just stopped screaming, Buffy couldn't hold her laughter in any longer.

Amidst her giggles, she turned to look at Willow. "Why in the world were you screaming over that?"

They both turned and looked at the ball of fluff that sat amongst some of Joyce's old coats. It was a puppy that looked back at them with big brown eyes. Buffy watched as a hat that had fallen on its tail at some point would swish back and forth a couple of times and then stop, just to start again. Buffy smiled as she looked down on the helpless little creature. She turned then to look back at Willow, and only then did she realize that Willow still held the lamp in her hand, poised to strike.

"Willow I think it's safe to say that the puppy isn't here to attack us, so do you mind putting down the lamp?"

Willow gave her a sheepish look and set the lamp on the floor. Buffy then got down on her haunches so as not to scare the little dog when she went to pick it up. As she reached in the closet for the puppy, it ducked out of her reach, so she tried again. This time she caught it. She cuddled it to her bosom and began to talk to Willow.

"So where do you think she came from?" There was a sharp bark from her arms and she looked closer at the dog. "Oh sorry. Willow where do you think 'he' came from?" When she looked back to him she could have sworn that he was sporting a self satisfied grin, but Willow spoke and Buffy forgot about it.

"Well I would say he is probably what came in the box. I had actually been wondering what you would need a leash for. Well then again you are dating William.... Nope I was right the first time, what would you need with a leash?"

Buffy could not believe what she had just heard. "Willow did you just imply what I think you did?" Buffy watched as a blush formed on her friend’s face, before they both burst out laughing. The puppy, which had been trying to fall asleep in her lap, was jostled by Buffy's laughter. Buffy watched as the dog gave her the evil eye and jumped from her lap to the floor. He walked off to a corner not far from her and laid with his back to her. Buffy soon turned from watching the puppy, and started taling to Willow. "Okay, now back to where this little guy came from."

"Like I was saying there was a leash, and some other puppy things, and there might have even been a note but I didn't get that far."

Buffy got up and walked over to the box and started looking in it. Just when she was about to give up she noticed something white attached to the inside flap of the box. She pulled it off and found it was an envelope. She opened it and found a note inside.

Hey luv,

I know by the time this little gift reaches you I'll be on a plane for England, or at least I hope I am. I saw this little guy yesterday and remembered that you kept saying something about being, lonely. I hope he will help a little, just remind him you’re my girl and he can't have you.

Please don't be too lonely while I'm gone. I'll call you later tonight. Remember I love you, and I miss you.

Love Always,
William

PS. Don't worry ‘bout your mom… she already knows.

Buffy folded the note back up and put it in her back pocket. She quickly wiped the few tears that had fallen as she read the note. Once she was sure she'd wiped them away she turned back to Willow.

"So from William, huh?"

Buffy was surprised. "How'd you know?"

"Well for one, the thousand watt smile."

Buffy didn't reply to that but did to Willow's original question. "Yeah that little guy is from William. He got him so that I wouldn't be lonely."

The conversation moved on to puppy names and fits of giggles. They were oblivious to the world around them or they might have realized they were being watched again. Instead they remained obliviouse to the killer who had been so close to them.

*************************************************************************************************************

Willow parked her car in the space at the end of the apartment building. She hated parking down here because there were hardly any lights, but there was no other spaces open closer. She had stayed out late with Buffy at the Bronze. They had decided to hang out there for an hour but soon it had turned into three hours. Willow wasn't regretting it though, because it had been great just to have a girls’ night out; well almost. Tara had gone into L.A. earlier that morning and when they'd called to see if she wanted to join them no one had answered. Willow and Buffy had a great time though - it had been fun just to hang out.

There just hadn't been much of that lately and Willow knew she would soon have to confess to Buffy that they wouldn't have much time left together.

Willow still hadn't figured how she was going to tell Buffy that she wasn't staying in Sunnydale for college. She had just gotten the letter the other day saying she'd been accepted to Berkeley which was almost six hours away. Willow still wasn't sure what she was going to major in, but she wanted to get out of Sunnydale. She had never thought she would get to, and now that she had the chance she couldn't give it up. It still didn't help her to figure out just how to tell Buffy, or Xander for that matter.

She got out of the car and locked it up. Willow paid close attention to her surroundings as she walked towards the entrance to the apartment complex. It was a habit she had picked up from her brother, the cop. She was only half way there when she heard a scuffle and then some yelling. She would have ignored it and hurried the rest of the way but the one voice had sounded suspiciously like Xander. Willow turned back towards her car and rounded the building. Although it was dark, she distinctly made out Xander's form standing bent over by a tree. As Willow watched, another person came up behind him, but she couldn't make out who it was. The man, or what she guessed was a man by his body shape, started to manhandle Xander. Willow stood back, figuring that Xander could take care of himself, but he was soon overpowered by the guy.

Willow didn't think about what she did next. She just ran up behind the guy and jumped on his back.

"You leave my brother alone!" She screamed. She had her hands covering his face as she tried to scratch him. It was the one time when she wished she didn’t bite her nails. She did manage to cause the guy to lose his balance though, because he soon fell over. The only thing Willow hadn't thought about was that she would go down with him when he fell. They both landed with an oomph, and Willow knew that she would have bruises in the morning. As she looked toward where the other person was, the moon came out from behind the clouds and she was able to see the other person’s face.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Richard! I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, but remind me never to get on your bad side."

Willow suddenly remembered what she'd seen moments before and the fire rekindled within her. "Yeah, well manhandling my brother around would cause you to be on my bad side. So would you like to explain yourself?"

"It wasn't what you think Willow - I found Xander down at Willy's."

Willow realized what he was saying and sure enough when she finally looked over towards where Xander had been he wasn't standing anymore. He was passed out next to the same tree he had been leaning against. Willow sighed a long daunting sigh. "He's drunk isn't he?" She watched as Xander’s friend and co-worker nodded his head in confirmation.

"I was trying to get him into the apartment. Figured it would be better if he slept it off at home. He had actually started to bother Willy's other customers, and that's when Willy called me. I even got Willy not to press charges for the broken mirror."

"Broken mirror?"

"It seems Xander went into a bit of a rant. Willy said that he kept yelling at the mirror that it was his fault. Finally he just threw his bottle at the mirror. I paid the damages, so don't worry."

Willow tried to give him a smile but she figured it probably looked strained. All the happiness from earlier had quickly slipped out of her when she'd realized Xander was drunk. She started to stand up; instead she was lifted to her feet. She looked back and came face to face with Richard's brown eyes and a tender smile spread across his features.

Willow quickly averted her eyes as she felt her cheeks fill with heat. His hands seemed to linger a bit too long on her waist, but when she looked back at Richard, his smile was gone. She figured she had just imagined the hand thing too, because he now had a determined look on his face. She quickly pushed the warmth that had started to take over her body down; this wasn't the time or place. Most likely it would never be the right time or place.

"Thanks."

He nodded his head in acceptance of her thanks and then moved towards Xander's sprawled body. She watched Richard throw Xander’s arm over his shoulder and lift. He soon was dragging Xander's passed out form toward the apartment entrance again.

Willow rushed up on the other side of Xander and tried to take some of the weight of her brother off of Richard's shoulder. Once again she was graced with a genuinely tender smile from Richard and this time she couldn't push the feeling away, and really she didn't want to.

***************************************************************************************************************************

Joyce peered into the living room through the doorway in which she was standing. Buffy had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for William to call, like he'd said he would. Joyce silently walked toward her daughter’s sleeping form and reached over her to remove the afghan from the back of the couch, before covering Buffy’s resting figure. As she tucked her daughter in like so many times when Buffy was younger, Joyce couldn't help but feel grateful. After telling Buffy the truth, Joyce had figured she'd lose her remaining daughter, but instead it had really made them closer. Joyce found herself cherishing their time together more. She knew if Buffy wanted to, she could leave and never look back, because in all reality all they had ever had in common was one man. Hank Summers.

Joyce couldn't stop the bitter taste that entered her mouth whenever she thought of her ex-husband. The only good thing he had ever done was give her Faith and Buffy. Joyce couldn't stand the man, and she hoped she never reached a point in her life where she ever could. She had forgiven him years ago for his deceit and cheating, but she could never forgive him for turning his back on his daughters. Joyce had realized then that he was a selfish idiot. If anything, his absence at Faith’s funeral proved that. Joyce had hoped Hank would at least make an appearance; but all she had received was a check explaining he'd pay all the funeral expenses. Joyce had promptly torn the check up and trashed it. She wanted nothing to do with Hank ever again if she could help it.

Joyce had a man that loved her now and she couldn't ask for anyone better. Giles had stuck by her side during all of this. A lot like William had stuck by Buffy’s side. Giles had been a life saver this last month and Joyce couldn't help wondering how she would have ever gotten through it without him. He had been able to see right through every facade she'd put up and had made her open herself to him, not allowing her to keep it all bottled up inside. Joyce had cried more than she had ever cried before, and for once she didn't feel as if she had to be the strong one. Giles had done that for her; had become the strong one and shared her burdens through all of this.

Joyce leaned down and placed a kiss on Buffy's forehead. As she stood back up, the afghan started to move and a little white head popped out from underneath.

Joyce whispered "What are you up to?"

The puppy yapped at her and she quickly picked it up, trying to quiet it. He snuggled into her arms and quieted down. Joyce turned her attention back to Buffy and watched as she stirred, but fell back asleep.

"Now Little Willy you must be quiet. We can't go waking up Buffy." Joyce started to leave but took one more look back at her daughter. She really hoped she never lost Buffy, because she didn't know if she'd make it.

Joyce had no sooner left the living room, before the phone began to ring. She peeked around the corner just in time to watch Buffy jump awake and reach for the phone. Joyce heard Buffy’s opening remarks as she was walking away.

"Yeah, William. It’s me. No I wasn't waiting up….umm…just had the phone by my bed."

Joyce couldn't help but chuckle.

**************************************************************************************************************

Willow slumped onto the small love seat which was located in the living room. The room wasn't big enough to hold a normal sized couch, so Xander had picked out a navy blue velour love seat. Willow loved how comfortable it was. It was her favorite place to sit in the whole apartment. Willow tried to figure out how she would talk to Xander in the morning. She had actually thought William had straightened him out. Although William hadn’t told her what was wrong, he had seemed to think that Xander would be fine. Now Xander was coming home like this.

Willow leaned her head against the back of the love seat and closed her eyes. The next thing she felt was a blanket drapped over her. She groggily opened her eyes and realized she must have dozed off. As she looked up, she saw Richard standing over her.

"Oh! I'm sorry Richard. Didn’t mean to fall asleep." Willow yawned and tried to sit up, but a hand held her back.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just leaving anyway. When I saw you'd fallen asleep, I decided to cover you up. Instead I woke you up." Richard backed off then and started walking for the door. He stopped and picked up his keys off the side table.

"That's okay. I really should head off to bed anyway. This love seat may be my favorite place to sit, but it does awful things to my back if I try to sleep on it. I learned that one night when Buffy and I had a movie night." Willow got up and walked to open the door for Richard.

Richard chuckled at that. "Buffy is that little blonde, right?"

"Yeah. But she's taken, so no funny ideas." Willow tried giving him her best evil eye. She was now standing at the door holding it open for Richard. "I'm not trying to get rid of you and yet I am. I really need to get to bed."

Richard laughed again. "Yeah, I understand. Anyway, talk to you later. Tell Xander I'll see him at work." Willow had nearly shut the door before opening it again when Richard continued to speak. “Oh, Willow as for liking Buffy well....."

Willow nodded her head for him to continue.

"Well don't worry about that. I’m more partial to redheads." Willow watched as Richard winked at her and then walked away. She was left standing in the open doorway, shocked.

Had he just flirted with her? Willow quickly shook her head and closed the door. She was not awake enough to think about this tonight.

No matter how tired she was, Willow found it hard to fall to sleep that night. She kept hearing Richard’s words over and over in her head. When she finally did slip into dreamland, though, it was with a smile on her face.

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William sat in a green lawn chair, which was located on the Wyndham-Price's balcony. He had been back in England for a little over three weeks, watching over their flat while they were gone.

Wesley Wyndham-Price had been William's friend for a long time; they had gone to school together, before William moved to the States. He and Wes had probably been the two biggest ponces you ever wanted to see, and they had stuck together through it all. Wesley had become like William’s older brother through the years. Wesley had even lived with William’s family for a year while Wes’ mother had been in the hospital. William also knew that Wesley had mourned just as hard for William's mother, as he himself had after her death. They had always been close even in the years when communication was little, and far between. They both knew the other was there if they needed anything.

After William and his family moved to the States, he and Wes kept in contact but really hadn't seen each other for a long time. That changed when William returned to England to attend university. William could still remember getting off that plane and Wes being there to greet him back home. To William, back then that was exactly what England was. Home. William had rented out the third bedroom in Wes’ flat, which was the only bedroom on the second floor. Wes, and now Fred, lived on the first floor now that they were married.

It had been three months after William had moved in that Wesley had literally found Fred. She had been a victim from one of the many cases being worked at AI, also known as Angel Investigations. Wes worked there for awhile, but had never gotten so involved in a case. This time had been different, and even William had seen the writing on the wall. William remembered well how his friend had acted, the night after the case had been solved. William had never seen Wes lose his temper, but that night Wes had let it all explode. Wesley later explained to William what had happened and William had just listened as his friend told him Fred’s story.

Wes had been in charge of the investigation, and hit a dead end. Fred had been missing for a week before they had gotten a lead from a local library. She had been seen on the corner outside the library, right after it had closed. Witnesses reported seeing someone that matched Fred’s description get in a white car and drive off. It took Wes another month before the investigation provided any leads, and he had slowly become more and more frustrated. Then the biggest break had come from Fred herself. She had acquired a cell phone from somewhere and had called for help. Wes and his team had found her by tracking the cell phone, which she had left on. Fred had been found in the back of an old basement. Her clothes barely hung on her shoulders in tatters, and she spoke gibberish, comprised mostly of numbers and letters.

After the investigation ended, Wes immersed himself in his work. One night, six months after Fred had been found, Wes returned home from work smiling. Fred had shown up at AI to thank all the investigators who had worked to find her. She had even given Wesley a peck on the cheek for “rescuing her” as she put it. Wesley had actually gotten a lot of flack because of it too. His co workers had a wonderful time teasing him about solving the case all by himself and saving the damsel in distress. Wes had actually taken it in stride, and went on working. It wasn’t long before Fred showed up again, but this time she was on a mission of sorts. She wanted to thank Wes by taking him to dinner, and that had been the beginning of the end for bachelor Wesley Windham-Pryce.

As a couple, Wes and Fred had their own problems and trials, but had worked through them. Fred still experienced panic attacks every now and then. She told William once that it was a daily fight for her. Some days were good, while others seemed as if the whole world was being shadowed out by fear. Fred said the tough days were the days that meant the most, because those days she fought, and won. Wes had always been there too, standing next to her, comforting her until she got past her fears. They were far from over the hill into happily ever after; but they made the most of the ride there. Now that Fred was pregnant, William hoped that their lives would calm down also. They deserved to live a normal life.

He wished it was that easy for him to just go back, but it wasn't. He had been hiding out in England for what seemed like a lifetime but had, in reality, only been a week. When Fred and Wes returned home early, William knew he could have left right away, but instead he had made excuses. William had been putting it off, hoping that maybe he would just be forgotten. He knew better though, no one that he knew would let him while away his life sitting on this balcony.

"Are you going to sit here and continue to sulk, or are you going to go back to the girl you love?"

William looked up and directly into Fred’s eyes, and his point was proven. Fred wasn’t going to let him just sit around. She had a perturbed look on her face, and he could hear her foot tapping on the cement floor of the balcony.

"Fred, if I go back we are just going to start our relationship right where it left off."

"And that's such a bad thing?"

"Yes it is." William said exasperated. "Listen, it moved too fast in the first place. I mean, what was I thinking, rushing into a relationship with my ex-girlfriend’s sister, merely hours after she was killed? Hello, doesn't it seem a bit insensitive? On top of that, Buffy is one of my best friends, and now I'm just totally in love with her? I had barely just realized that Buffy had grown from a little girl to a beautiful woman. I mean this is the same person who I used to give piggy back rides, and listen to all her teenage woes. Now I'm suddenly dating her, not twenty-four hours after I break up with her sister? Then to top it all off, I just suddenly fall in love with her? Now, come on Fred, how many things can you count wrong in this whole scenario?" William now leaned against the edge of the balcony looking out over the crowded street below. He felt that he had screwed up this whole thing and he didn't know how to fix it.

"First of all, I think you are looking at this in completely the wrong way. William, that girl as you so nicely put it has been in your heart for years. Even I knew it only after knowing you for two years. So believe me, nearly that whole list doesn't even count." He tried to interrupt but she continued to talk.

"As for Faith, I don't think you ever truly loved her, so no, it's not insensitive. I mean I've seen you and heard you gloat over the fact that Buffy was growing into such a beautiful woman. William, we all saw it a long time ago. How many times have you shown that little picture of a blonde that you carry in your wallet to your friends and anyone else you talked to? How many times did you actually show the picture of Faith that you also carry around?" Fred stood there giving him a look that just begged him to argue with her. "It's called love, plain and simple. William, you are tying to run away from something which you cannot escape. It's with you already, all these years that you've known Buffy it's been there. It was under the surface, but it's still been there. Believe me I know."

She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. William would have stopped her but he was too immersed in his own feelings and questions to realize that this was hard for her to explain. It brought up a lot of things that hurt, but she knew that it would get through to William if she could just finish. "Who would have thought I'd want anything to do with something that reminds me what happened to me, and yet I stand here married and pregnant by the man who saved me. I would have rather moved on and not ever seen anything connected to those tragic few weeks. However, I knew from the minute Wesley took me out of that basement, I loved him. I tried to run; instead it just became more and more pressing that I see him. William, you can't run. Believe me, don't even try." She turned then to walk back in the house. Before doing so, she spoke once more.

"Oh, and one more thing William. Two years ago when you got the letter from Buffy about Parker, who was the one person that wanted to go back and kill him? If I remember correctly it wasn't pleasant what you had planned either, and please for my stomach’s sake don't remind me of the details." Fred began to walk back inside, with a soft smile on her face. In her wake, she left William to ponder one more statement. "Just think about it William. I'm sure you'll see I'm right."

At this point that was all William was doing. He sat on that balcony until the sun had gone down and the shops below had closed. He thought about all the years he had spent with Buffy. William really thought back on a lot of his past, and realized one true constant in his life. Whenever he had been at his happiest, and even his lowest times, he'd gone to Buffy. In all these years he had turned to Buffy when his life had seemed to be in the pits of hell, and slowly burning away. All those times she had been the one who listened and helped. He'd never realized before how much she had meant to him, and still did.

It didn't take him long to get a plane ticket, and he quickly packed. Tomorrow he'd be leaving for Sunnydale. He had some things to clear up and sitting around England wasn't getting it done.

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Anya came slamming out of her boss’ office. It had been nearly two months since Faith's murder, and after almost a month with no new leads or evidence, he wanted her to close the Summers’ case. The letters had led them nowhere, and she was starting to wonder if her boss had been right about them too. He had told her from the beginning that they were just prank letters, and not to bother with them. Anya had seen them as important evidence though. Now almost a month later she wondered if she had spent too much time on trying to find who had written the letters, and not enough time on the rest of the case. In the end, focusing on the other aspects of the case wouldn't have gotten her very far either.

They hadn't found the murder weapon yet, but they had determined that Faith had been killed with a knife. It had been determined that the knife had a blade which was approximately eight inches long and 1/4 inch thick. They had also determined that the murder had taken place in the alley, and that her body had been dragged to the side of the alley.

The autopsy had proved in the end that Faith most likely had not been able to scream, and even if she would have tried, it would have been a fading cry for help. The coroner had explained that the knife had actually gone in just right, causing death within minutes. It was unclear as to whether she'd been stabbed in the back before or after she was stabbed in the gut. The opinion was that Faith had been stabbed in the gut first, which had caused her to fall forward. The killer had then proceeded to stab Faith in the back. It had been determined that blood loss had been the cause of death. In the end Anya, didn't really care how it had happened. All she wanted was some piece of evidence to show her who the killer was.

Anya and a few other officers had interviewed all of the surrounding neighbors, hoping to find someone who had seen or at least heard something unusual that night. They had questioned everyone, from Mrs. Johnson, the little old lady that had found the body, to Harmony Kendall, an eighteen year old who lived in the vicinity and had been home alone that night. Ms. Kendall hadn't been able to provide much information, except repeatedly reporting that she had been at home all night and asleep by nine. Anya had thought she seemed a bit distracted but had attributed it to the fact that she had just had someone killed in her own backyard. They had even questioned a homeless girl who had been seen many times around the area previously. She had been at the shelter across town that night though, or at least according to her. No one at the shelter had been able to tell Anya whether or not Ms. Shelton had been there or not.

There had been no witnesses, and Anya knew that was what she needed to keep this case open. Just one person that had seen Faith with her killer that night, but Anya wasn't going to be waiting. No witnesses only meant one thing for this case -- it was closed. With Faith's killer still on the loose, Anya felt that she had failed.

Anya sighed as she closed the case folder with the picture of Faith she had been staring at for the last few minutes. It was one of the crime scene pictures, showing Faith slumped over a recycle bin. Her eyes were still open, in this black and white photo, which just added to the look of lifelessness in the picture. You could just make out the blanket which had been pulled back, the blanket was darker in some areas than others and Anya knew from experience that the discoloration was blood.

She shuttered as the air surrounding her seemed to turn icy, even though she knew that it was impossible, because it was hotter in the building than outside, and had been since the air conditioning quit working the day before. She walked towards her cubicle, not paying attention to her surroundings, and walked right into someone. The folder for the Summers’ case had fallen out of her hands and once again she was staring into those same dark pools of nothingness. She forced her eyes away from Faith's and into the ones that belonged to who she had run into. There wasn't much of a difference to these eyes though, because they seemed just as lifeless as Faith's. The person spoke then, the listlessness in the voice caused Anya to cringe. For someone who at one point in time had been such a jovial person, to be reduced to this, well it just wasn't right.

"Have you found anything new?"

"No, and..." Began Anya, as she went about putting the folder back together, and closing it back up, hoping she wouldn’t have to finish the sentence.

"You have to close it don't you? The boss wants it marked unsolved doesn't he?" This time the voice was impassive. Anya hated having to confirm the statement, but she knew she couldn't lie.

"Yes, Xander, I have to close the case." She watched as Xander shook his head in understanding and started to turn and walk off. She quickly grabbed his arm and turned him back around to look at her.

In the weeks since giving him the journal entries, she had watched his mood slowly decline. Immediately after Faith had died he just tried to hide his feelings, now he didn't care. Anya had slowly watched the weeks pass and Xander become more and more withdrawn from everyone. She had even heard that he had been taken home at least twice by some of his co-workers, because he'd been too drunk to drive. Although she knew that it wasn't all her fault, she couldn't help the thought that her comment hadn't helped things any. Anya replayed her actions in her head several times, and had ultimately regretted allowing Xander access to those few entries that Faith had written leading up to the days before she died. She hadn't known before now how to make it up to him, but in these last few seconds she knew exactly what she could do.

"Xander, I can't make promises but I will continue looking into this case. I promise I'm not giving up."

"Anya I know that you’re not going to give up, but you know as well as I do, the longer this goes unsolved the more likely that it will be buried until no one remembers. I'm not holding my breath to see it solved, because it most likely won't be." Anya let go of his arm once the realization hit her.

He was giving up, and not just on the case. She could almost see it in his eyes; he had given up on the job itself. Anya watched as he walked off and wondered how long it would be until Xander gave up his dream too.

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Buffy stood outside the Espresso Pump. She had about fifteen minutes left of her lunch break before she had to be back at The Magic Box - Giles' book store - which he had purchased two years prior, after he had retired. Giles had hired her for the summer, after her mother had complained about her working at the Double Meat Palace. Although it had been a rough start, including Buffy knocking down a whole bookshelf of English literature her first week on the job, Giles had stuck with her and gotten her successfully situated into the position of stock girl, after her failed attempt at sales girl.

As Buffy stood watching everyone pass her, she just took in her surroundings. It was such a beautiful day, the news had said that the heat would dissipate as the day went on, and they'd actually been right. There was already a slight breeze in the air and Buffy breathed it in through her nose and out through her mouth. It had been a while since she just stood and allowed herself to relax into the world around her. As she felt the warmth of the sun on her and the breeze ruffle the bottom of her flare jeans, she thought about William.

She had tried not to think about him too much while he'd been gone. Those first couple of days after he'd left she tried to overanalyze every thing about them. It had gotten bad enough that Willow had pulled out her resolve face, demanding Buffy calm down. That's when Buffy had realized she'd taken it too far because Willow almost never demanded anything. So Buffy had stopped worrying about her relationship with William -- well sort of. Starting work at the Magic Box had merely given her something else to worry about and she had pushed William to the back of her mind, not really thinking about him unless he called.

As Buffy brought her focus back to her current surroundings, she realized she was in the way of the door, and several irritated faces were staring at her. She quickly moved to the side and let the people, who she'd been blocking the way of, pass into the little coffee shop. As she walked away from the Espresso Pump toward the Magic Box, she realized suddenly that William hadn't called her in over a week, and that worried her a bit. He had been doing pretty well at calling her at least every three days. She pushed the worry away though, hoping it was just the fact that he'd gotten busy. She did make a note that if he didn't call tonight, she would be calling him herself.

Buffy continued walking until she reached the alley behind The Magic Box. She was about to open the back door that led from the alley into the shop, when she glanced at her watch and noticed the time. She still had eleven minutes until she had to be back in there. So instead of going in, she turned around and headed for her car, which she had parked farther down the alley. She had tried to make a habit of going home and checking on Little Willy. Mostly so he didn't have an accident on the floor again, but also because she wanted to make sure he hadn't found Mr. Gordo. She'd almost killed the dog when she had came home one day to find him right behind the front door with Mr. Gordo hanging out his mouth by an ear. Buffy had scolded the dog but she hadn't trusted that the pig would continue to live if she didn't keep him hidden. Then last week the dog had found the cute little pink pig and Buffy had to re-hide it. Buffy unlocked her car door and got in. As long as she was quick about it, she should be able to make it back in time.

It didn't take long to get there and as she got out of her car, Mr. Trevor, the mailman, was coming up the walk. Buffy waved and waited for him to reach her. Mr. Trevor had been the Mailman for a long time and Buffy could remember him having lollipops when she was younger. She could remember waiting every day, passing the time until the mail came so she could get that small piece of candy. She couldn't remember exactly when she had stopped, but probably when she started school. Now she hardly ever saw him unless it was a day like today where she had come home early. Once he was in front of her, she smiled and reached her hand out to take the mail he was holding. He handed her several bills and a few pieces that looked like junk mail. "So Mr. Trevor, how has the Johnson dog been treating you?"

Buffy watched as Mr. Trevor pulled his pant leg up and showed a fresh bandage, covering over what must have been a new scratch. "Still trying to get fresh meat."

Buffy laughed, saying goodbye, and heading for the house. As Mr. Trevor walked away, one piece of mail caught her eye as it was missing a return address. She flipped the envelope over, making sure it hadn't been written on the back, but nothing. She opened the letter and pulled out one lone piece of paper folded into thirds. She started to unfold it when something dropped out. Before she could bend and pick up what had fallen, her eyes were drawn to the oddly shaped letters on the paper. The note had been printed in a bubble like style and as Buffy read she knew that she had a problem.

Your sister didn't listen and look where she ended up. I'd suggest you heed what I have to say. He is mine and you will pay for thinking you can have him. Leave him alone or follow your sister’s fate.

Buffy folded the letter back up and put it in the envelope. She started toward her car before remembering that something had fallen out of the letter when she first opened it. She bent down hoping whatever it had been hadn't been picked up in the breeze. Buffy found what she was looking for right below where she had been standing. Reaching down, she picked up another piece of paper. On a closer inspection she realized that it was a cut out paper doll.

The blonde doll was wearing a black dress exactly like the one Buffy had worn to Faith's funeral; it even had a butterfly in the middle of the bodice. Buffy remembered that she'd put a stick pin in the dress that day because the button had popped in her rush to get ready that morning. Buffy's eyes weren't drawn to any of those details though. She intently stared at two red marks, which marred both the front and back of the paper doll.

Buffy was struck with the realization that she was being watched, and that whoever was watching her wanted her dead. The tears filled her eyes before she could stop them and all she knew was she had to tell someone. She turned back to her car with all thoughts of Little Willy or her job gone from her mind. She headed for the police station.

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Giles stood behind the counter, waiting on a customer. Although he smiled at the customer it was a forced smile, he thanked them for shopping there and watched them leave. Giles looked at the clock again and realized Buffy was now twenty-five minutes late. He had been waiting for Buffy to show up so he could take his lunch.

Normally Buffy just stocked books on the shelves and made sure the boxes were in order in the basement, but around 1:30 to 2:00 each day, Giles took his lunch break, and left Buffy to mange the store. He had attempted to train Buffy as a sales girl from the beginning, but that had resulted in several close calls and other fiascos. So they had compromised; she only had to watch the store for about an hour to give Giles his break. The hour she covered was normally slow, so she didn't get overwhelmed. He had seen it as a fair compromise, and it also saved him money from experiencing any more broken shelves.

Giles stood behind the counter furious; Buffy was late, and although he was bit worried, anger had taken over instead. He wondered how that girl ever expected to keep a job in the future if she couldn't be punctual.

Giles picked up the duster from behind the counter and started dusting off the bookshelves. He dusted in a rather jerky way that signaled to just about anyone, even someone who didn't know him, that he was furious. As he worked his way around the shelves, only one customer had come in. They had left fairly quickly though, after Giles cursed rather loudly over a jar of marbles he'd spilt, while dusting behind them.

After working his way across the floor so as not to trip on the marbles, Giles turned the open sign to closed. Since Buffy hadn't shown yet – she was now forty minutes late – Giles decided to just close the shop for an hour. Giles reworked his way around the marble mess and went to get the broom. He had no sooner picked up the broom, then he heard the jingling of the bell over the door.

"Buffy if that's you, you’re fired." Giles stated gruffly, hoping she'd hear the disappointment in his voice. As he returned to the front of the shop, he found a man standing there instead.

"Well I don't know Giles, I might be able to pull off the girly voice, but I’d never be able to talk like Buffy."

"William! When did you get back?"

"Just now. Fred and Wes came home early."

"Let me guess something important happened at Wes' office and he just had to be there."
Giles watched a smirk form on William’s face before he answered. "Not really, more like Fred left something in the oven."

Giles wasn't quite sure what William meant by that statement, and was about to ask him to clarify it when the bell over the door again sounded, and there stood Buffy. It was exactly who Giles had wanted to speak to, but before he could even address her, Buffy was running toward William, and he guessed his lecture would have to wait.

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Minutes before, Buffy had parked her car in front of The Magic Box, gotten out of the car, and locked it. She had planned on telling Giles that she didn't feel good and was going home. As she walked to the door, she couldn't help but be more aware of her surroundings. She paid attention to every detail she could, even down to a flash of metal she saw out of the corner of her eye. She quickly realized it was only the sun reflecting off a nearby trash can lid. Buffy was stiff as she opened the door to the shop, figuring that Giles would be ready to ream her about punctuality, or her glaring lack thereof.

Instead, she heard voices as she walked in. It didn't take long for her eyes to adjust to the dimmer light of the shop, and when they had, all thoughts of Giles once again slipped her mind. There, not two feet away, stood William, and that was all she needed for her emotional walls to crumble.

Buffy ran straight for William and wrapped him into a tight hug, as tears began to course down her cheeks. She didn't think he had noticed though, because he was soon laughing and saying something about breathing. That's when she realized how tight of a hold she had on him. She loosened her grip a bit but still clung to William. Buffy took in a swift breath of air and was immediately comforted by the smell of bay-rum and something distinctly William. His arms holding her close just magnified the feeling of finally being safe.

William must have caught on that something was not right. "Hey Buffy, now, what’s wrong?" The statement was asked with a questioning lilt in his voice. William stepped back and gave Buffy an intense look with his own eyes, and Buffy watched as his smile faded. He had realized whatever was bothering her was serious.
.
Suddenly Buffy wasn't sure what to say. Should she tell him or should she keep quiet? It had been her sister’s mistake of not telling anyone about the letters that had probably gotten her killed. So she decided not to do what her sister had done and hide.

Buffy approached William once more, and hugged him tightly, hoping to gain enough strength to get through the explanation. When she stepped back, only one thing ran through her mind. No matter what, she would not let those letters ruin her life.