“You can’t be serious”

Buffy Summers stood in front of the full length mirror, hands on her hips, surveying the image in front of her. It wasn’t bad enough that her big brother Angel was getting married, but to add insult to injury, she had to be bridesmaid as well.

Angel had met Dru while he was working in London nine months prior. She knew it was serious when his weekly emails stopped being about his work as a lawyer and started focusing on his workmate’s sister, Drusilla. He and Dru had visited the Tower of London, he and Dru had taken a ride on the London Eye, and now he and Dru were getting married.

It wasn’t as though she didn’t like the idea of falling in love -- the idea of wanting to spend the rest of your life with another person, and finding your soul mate. All those concepts she was completely on board with, one hundred percent. It was just now as she stood in the middle of the “I Do” wedding shop that she just didn’t understand why she had to be dressed up as bridesmaid Barbie to do it.

“I am not wearing it, Angel,” she said as she gathered up the masses of tulle and taffeta and made her way back into the changing room.

“Come on Buff, cut me some slack. Not all of us think that the hippie look is the cutting edge of fashion.” Buffy threw the cotton candy pink dress over the door and into Angel’s face.

“Hey! I look good. Not all of us are marrying into money you know. Some of us have to dress on a budget,” she replied as she pulled her vintage Led Zeppelin t-shirt over her head.

“You could, you know.”

“Could what?”

“Marry into money. Dru has a brother,” he said in a mocking tone.

Buffy laughed as she opened the dressing room door.

“I’d sooner wear that dress than marry William Giles.”

“Don’t be like that, you haven’t met him yet.”

“No, but we have emailed several times and let me tell you he seems just a little tightly wound.” She fluffed her hair in the mirror as she spoke.

“He’s just English. They’re all that way. Once you get to know him he really is…”

“Uptight, stuck–in-the–mud, with no sense of fun?” She smirked. “He called me Miss Summers.”

“Well, it is kind of your name,” Angel reasoned.

“No, my name is Buffy. Is that so hard to remember?”

“No, the fact that you are anything but Buffy it is hard to forget,” he laughed.

“I don’t understand why you made him your best man and Dru made me maid of honor. I hardly know Dru,” she pouted.

“The day is about family. Our new family, we wanted you both beside us as we start our family. Dru and I want you and William to be a part of that.” Angel looked down at his watch.

“Damn, I’m running late to pick up Dru. Look, you go ahead to the office to meet William and we will be right behind you.”

Buffy frowned at the suggestion. “Don’t make me go on my own to meet him. It’s going to be awkward enough trying to plan this rehearsal dinner with someone I hardly know. Don’t leave me alone with a total stranger.” Her voice had a distinctive whine to it.

“He’s not a stranger. On Saturday he will be family,” Angel said as he walked out the door and down the street.

~

“Miss Summers is here to see you, Mr. Giles.” His assistant’s voice broke him from the depositions he was currently knee-deep in.

“Who?” He asked.

“Miss Summers, Angel’s sister.”

‘Oh right, the wedding.’ He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He had forgotten all about it. The current litigation he was working on was taking up most of his time and thoughts, due in part to Angel taking the next 4 weeks off to partake in said event.

“I’ll be another 5 minutes. Offer her a drink and send her to the boardroom. I will meet her there.” He clicked off the intercom and sat back in his chair.

‘Why couldn’t they elope to Vegas like normal people?’ he thought to himself as he stared at his computer screen. Didn’t Dru and Angel understand that there was a world that existed outside their love affair? He was happy for them, he really was. He even envied them at times.

William was married to his job. It was the legacy his late father had left in his lap with his sudden death five years early. He had wanted to be a lawyer, no question. He had wanted to do a few years helping out in legal aid before he joined his dad’s firm.

Now he had to drop everything because of a wedding. He resented the fact that he had to organize dinners and speeches, and take precious time out of work to do it. Work that – he constantly reminded Dru – helped pay for the blessed day. If he was serious with himself, what he really resented was the fact that they had found each other, and that he hadn’t even the time to look.

He couldn’t even get his assistant to organize it all. No, Angel’s younger sister, Miss Summers, had to be involved according to the betrothed couple. He suspected they had done that to avoid his assistant organizing the whole thing.

He had not yet had the pleasure of meeting Miss Summers, or Buffy as she would prefer to be known. They had, however, exchanged several e-mails over the past couple of weeks. From that ordeal, he had deduced that he was not in for an easy time. Every suggestion he had made was met with resistance. Not something he was used to. Being the head of one of the largest law firms in London, he was not told no often. Someone obviously had not informed her of this as she said no to him as often as she could.

He saved the document he was working on and made his way to the boardroom.

‘Better get this over with’

~
Buffy heard the boardroom door open. Looking over, she laid eyes on possibly the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen: tall and lean, with shocking blond hair, penetrating icy blue eyes, and well defined, sharp cheekbones. He wore suit pants and a button down blue shirt. He looked as though he had just come from the country club. He was studying her closely and she felt herself flush all over. This couldn't be. . . .

"You must be Miss Summers,” he said, his British accent at once hot and familiar.

Yep, it was. It was--

"Hi, William," she drawled, disappointed. He might be hot, but the guy seemed like such a drag in his e-mails.

He smiled tightly and held out a hand.

She took it politely, noticing how limp and unfeeling it was in her hand. The message was clear: he wasn't exactly thrilled to be meeting her, either.

“Good to see you two getting on so well,” Angel said as he and Dru walked into the board room.

Taking her hand back, she smiled wanly at him and turned her attention back to Dru and Angel who were now watching them closely and smirking.

"What?" Buffy asked defensively.

Angel grinned, "Oh, nothing."

~

"Wow, this place is like...wow," Buffy Summers breathed as she entered the Giles' home. No, home wasn't quite right. At least it didn't look like a home. It was more like a mansion that appeared more like a museum. Though, people lived in it, and apparently quite comfortably.

Currently, Dru and William were making sure their rooms were set to “perfection” as William had said. Buffy wouldn’t have been surprised if that meant he placed a gigantic snake in the middle of her bed.

"Don't start gawking," Angel whispered to her, nudging her elbow, "They're . . ."

"Uptight?" Buffy supplied. "Dru might not be, but her brother certainly is."

"Gee, and here I thought you liked William," Angel said sardonically, "You've done nothing but sing him praises."

Buffy rolled her eyes at her brother and slapped him on the arm. "Jackass."
~

She was a bloody infuriating chit if there ever was one, William Giles decided. Miss Summers, who refused to be called anything but Buffy, might very well have been bloody gorgeous, with her golden shampoo-commercial hair and incredible green eyes, but she was also a bloody thorn in his bloody side!

He was convinced that she made it a sport to contradict everything he suggested for the dinner party they were having for her brother and his sister.

First, she didn't like the idea of the dinner party when he'd suggested it a few months back over e-mail. She had wanted a party, a straight up party. He wanted something quiet and reserved and Miss Summers, or Buffy wanted something lively. He was sure that meant 'wild'.

"So, your hair is most definitely bleached," she told him as she helped him put the name tags on the tables for the guests. He'd carefully planned it all out, wanting to make sure that each person in attendance was comfortable with the people he or she knew. Buffy, on the other hand, had thought they should have mixed it up. "Maybe someone at this wedding is destined to meet the love of her life. How can she meet him if he’s sitting with the same group of people he already knows?" She pointed out.

He glowered at her, and then dutifully ignored her.

Then she had a problem with the flowers he picked out. Lilies, she said, were boring. Couldn't he have added a splash of color? Maybe some red roses? Orchids?

Now she was picking on his hair. Or that's the way he was taking it anyway. Standing before a lavishly decorated and set table, he glared at her, "Yes, and?"

She shrugged, "Well, you're not so uptight to bleach your hair-"

"I'm not uptight," he said tightly.

She quirked a brow. "William, if I stuck a piece of coal up your ass, in two weeks I'd have a diamond."

"You're bloody annoying, you know that? You've been nothing but a bleedin' nightmare since we started planning this for them-"

She looked at him, outraged. "Me? Me? Every time I want to do something, you tell me no-"

"Because your ideas are horrendous!" He exclaimed, frustrated.

"Not horrendous, fun! We're having a wedding, but you're making it more like funeral!"

"You want to turn this into a . . . a rager!" He sputtered.

"You could benefit from a rager, pal! When's the last time you cut loose?"

"Apparently not as much as you have, Buffy. Your good times seem to have destroyed a few brain cells."

"Asshole!"

"Bitch!"

"Nerd!"

"Brat!"

"Whoa! What the hell is going on in here?" Angel asked, bursting through the cream and lilac ballroom. Dru followed beside him, hanging onto his arm.

William's anger was still flaring, his blood boiling. It was. . . a rush. He stared at Buffy who was currently taking deep Buddha breaths to calm herself. No! He didn't want her to calm herself, he was ready to go a few more rounds.

That stopped him cold. When did arguing become a pastime? A hobby? Especially with an annoying chit like Buffy Summers?

"Nothing, big brother" Buffy assured Angel, smiling innocently at him. "I'm going to get ready for the party." She looked over at William and her eyes instantly narrowed as she asked, "Can you handle this?"

He nodded dumbly and turned away from them, heading towards the next table and beginning the procedure of placing name tags down all over again.

********

"Look, I'm sorry I called you a prick earlier," Buffy said to William as she joined him outside. She hadn't felt too guilty about screaming at him until Angel had laid into her about them being family now and that all the yelling had hurt Dru's 'delicate sensibilities'. What the hell were 'sensibilities' anyway and why was Angel using it?
William, she'd noticed, had slunk out halfway through the rehearsal dinner and stood outside on the balcony of the huge ballroom, having a smoke. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, not even bothering to turn his head, which just infuriated her.

"You didn't call me a prick. You called me an asshole and a nerd," he said coolly.
She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well, sorry for those too."

"Then I apologize for saying how you were the product of hippie parenting."

"That's funny because I swore I said you were the product of Nazi upbringing."

He turned then, and glared at her. She glared back and then smiled, "See you bright and early tomorrow morning."

He scowled at her. Waving, she smiled brilliantly and bounced back to the party.

Chapter 2

I wanna be sedated. The steady beat blasting through the headphones helped keep the pace.

William loved to run. He did it every morning before work. When he was in London, he would run on the treadmills at the gym. However, it was not quite the same as the feeling of running outside. As he was working from the estate for the rest of the week, he took full advantage of the acres and acres that the Giles estate had. He loved it; the feel of the grass under his feet adding spring to each stride, the fresh air pumping through his lungs reminding him to give up smoking sooner rather than later. Most of all, he loved the freedom; the feeling that he could run away to wherever the mood took him. There were no deadlines or must-win cases to be won. With each stride, he felt more and more free.

Aside from the physical work out it gave him, it also helped clear his mind of clutter, to focus, and regroup to start each day.

His mind had been clouded ever since Buffy had entered it. She had entered his mind about two minutes after meeting her yesterday and had yet to leave. So many things about her annoyed him, her blatant disregard for any form of propriety was one, her ability to annoy him with just a look was another, and the way her hair shone as she flicked it from side to side. The list went on and on.

It was the reason he had gotten up before anyone else and had gone for a run. The Sex Pistols were helping clear his head. Nothing like a bit of Brit punk blasting the ear drums to gather your thoughts. He started singing along as he made his way back to the house.

He rounded the far corner of the garden on his way back to the house when he ran smack bang into what he was running from. Buffy.

They both fell to the ground with a thud. He quickly detangled himself from her and stood up. Brushing himself off, he offered his hand to her.

“I can do it myself.” Buffy stood up and her face was flushed. “You have, in one fell swoop, undone the last hour of yoga. I was relaxed and now I’m all not.”

“One more time in English please?” he asked.

“You have ruined all my hard work.” She placed her hands on her hips as her eyes narrowed.

He laughed. “Please, as if deep breathing is exercise. Should do what I do. Couple of laps around the estate, and then you will know what exercise is all about.”

“Yoga is more strenuous than running. It’s better for you too.” She walked over to her mat, inhaled deeply, and stretching her hands over her head, she exhaled as she bent over and touched her toes.

William tried to look away, but as her white tank top rode up and her black tights slipped down, they revealed a Celtic tattoo on her lower back and he had always had an interest in Celtic symbolism.

“I swear all the mung beans you have eaten have gone to your head,” Buffy look up at him.

“One way to prove it.”

~

“Ok, you win. Yoga is harder than jogging.” At this point, William would have said or done just about anything to get out of his current position. Buffy had literally spent the last half-hour bending and twisting him into a human pretzel.

“Told you so,” she sing-songed as she got up from her current pose.

William looked at his watch. He was late for work.

“I have to go. Work awaits.” He stood up and held out his hand for Buffy to shake. “Thank you for this morning. It was interesting at best.”

Buffy looked down at his outstretched and laughed. ”Is it all British people or just you?” She turned from him and started rolling up her yoga mat. “William, we have just spent the last half hour getting closer to each other than I got with my tenth grade boyfriend. I think we’re past shaking hands.”

“You have a point there.” They both started making their way back to the house.

“How come you have to work, anyway? The wedding is tomorrow. No one else is working today.”

“Hence why I have to. Someone has to earn the money for the wedding of the year.” He sighed as he ran his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. ”Besides, it does not take me as long as it takes you ladies to look presentable.”

“Hey!” She punched his shoulder. “I take offence to that. So have you done your speech yet?”

“Yes, I wrote it last week. What about you?”

“No, I’m more a fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl. I’ll see where the mood takes me on the day.”

“You can’t do that. This is a formal occasion, you can’t just wing it.”

“What -- and have some boring toast to king and country and a boring Wordsworth quote? No, thank you. I’ll leave that to you.”

He stopped at her harsh words. His quote was from Shakespeare and was quite touching. ”I will have you know that the toast is to queen and country, and my quote is from Shakespeare not Wordsworth.” So there.

“You don’t get it, do you?” She turned around to face him. “Tomorrow is about love and passion, declaring undying love in front of God and the world. There’s nothing more beautiful than that.”

She had moved closer to him. He was starting to think there was something more beautiful than that and it was standing right in front of him.

“It has nothing to do with queen, king, country, or Shakespeare and everything to do with love.” She was so close. All he had to do was inch forward and kiss her. And so, he found himself starting to move to do just that.

“Buffy?” Angel called.

“Coming!” She called back.

With that, she turned and left.

********

William stood in the doorway watching his sister add the finishing touches to her wedding gown. She was glowing with happiness, the sense of excitement clear on her face. He wondered what that felt like. To know that you were starting the rest of your life with the person you loved. To have someone to love, laugh with, share the good times, shoulder the burdens.

“It’s a wedding William, not a funeral. Try not to look so serious.” He had been so caught up in his thoughts he had not noticed Drusilla had finished.

“Funny,” he smirked, “That’s what Buffy told me. I was making this more like funeral.”

Dru grinned, “Did she?”

Deciding to ignore the funny smile on her face, he changed the subject.

“You are glowing; I don’t think I have ever seen you this happy.”

“You could try it sometime.”

“Get married. I am not the marrying kind,” he looked at himself in the mirror. “Look at me Dru. I am not getting any younger and besides the rather large inheritance, I don’t have too much else to offer a women.”

“Don’t sell yourself short William. You are a hard worker, kind hearted, funny.”

“Not according to Miss Summers,” her harsh character assessment echoed in his mind. “I am the product of Nazi upbringing,” Dru laughed.

“She didn’t mean anything by it Will. She just likes to push your buttons.”

“I cannot see the pleasure she gets from it.” He walked over to Dru and took her hand in his own.

“They would have been so proud of you today Dru.” Whilst his father’s death had been sudden, their mother’s death two years previous had been a slow and painful one. Dru had nursed her mother during the latter stages of her cancer.

“If you make me cry today Will, I swear I will never speak to you again,” she turned and grabbed her bouquet.

She looped her arm through his. “Let’s go and get you married.”

~

“You actually have index cards for this?” Buffy asked, half-incredulous, when she and William met up after pictures to continue with their responsibilities.

“Yeah...” William said slowly, as if she were a half-wit.

She blinked. “I thought you were just, ya know, half joking about writing it out and – God, did you write a small essay on those cards or ...?”

William glared at her and she grinned back, only because she knew it would annoy him. If there was one thing she liked about William, aside from how pretty he was to look at, it was to annoy him, ruffle those refined feathers of his and make him crazy. The man needed crazy in his life -- if for anything than to get the pole out of his ass.

He snatched the cards she was holding in her hands. “You have something in mind to talk about when it’s time to toast? Still insisting on pulling something out of your ass?”

“I’m going to talk about the love I saw up at that altar today. The devotion and the wealth of affection radiating off Angel and Dru. I’m going to talk about how love like the one they have doesn’t come around everyday, and when it does, you have to hold onto it and never let it go. I’m going to talk about how alive and animated my brother has been since he met your sister -- as if he came to life when she came around.”

She took pleasure in the wide-eyed look William gave her and his frown when he glanced down at his cards. He looked back up at her and she patted him swiftly on the back.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just think there’s only a roomful of people to embarrass yourself in front of. Think of all the great stories that could be told. You’ll be a legend.” She walked away smiling cheerfully, feeling his death ray glare on her back.

********

William could not take his eyes off her. She was so...effulgent. He hated to admit it, even to himself, and hell if he would admit it to her, but Buffy was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. In addition, it was not just her golden hair and incredible green eyes. No, it was the light inside her that seemed to shine from the inside and radiate out. She was so full of life and ---

Wait.

Now that was a damn good speech wasn’t it? It was a continuance of all she’d talked about and it complimented what she planned to say perfectly. He smiled and sat back, satisfied. Buffy would be proud.

Not that he cared in the least, however.

********

“And so, as Miss Summers, err, Buffy said, we should all be so lucky to have that kind of love. The kind of love that radiates inside us and projects out. The kind of love that changes our lives and the lives we come in contact with. I’ve spent a lot of time listening to my sister since she met Angel and I’ve come to realize that, and I believe the Beatles said it best: ‘love is all you need.’” Clapping ensued and William raised his glass, the toast having been made. Stealing a glance over at Buffy, he smiled giddily to himself at the look of awe on her face.

William Giles never did anything ‘giddily’.

Dru smothered him in a hug, and Angel shook his hand before they retreated to the dance floor together. Feeling proud of himself, he came over to Buffy.

She smiled up at him. “Feeling proud of yourself, aren’t you?”

“I am,” he nodded. “Would you care to dance?” He asked and extended his hand.

“You want to dance with me?”

“Yes, I do. We are family now, of sorts.”

“That we are,” she murmured. “Sure, I’ll dance with you.”

Taking hold of her smooth, delicate hand, William led her to the dance floor and gathered her up in his arms, breathing in her intoxicating scent and basking in the glow that always radiated off her.

She eyed him warily, “You’ve caught the bug.”

He blinked, “Excuse me?”

“You have that look on your face that people get at weddings. That dreamy, almost sedated look of wanting to be in love.”

“I have that look right now?”

“Yup. And you’re directing it at me.”

“Wh-What?” He was near sputtering.

“But it’s not real.”

He glared at her. “What the hell are you on about? You were just going on and on about true love and soul mates and all that other crap, you hippies like to spew about, and now you’re telling me it’s not real? Are you a pod person?”

“Despite what you may think Mr. Giles, I do have my feet somewhat planted on the ground—“

”Somewhat being the operative word,” he muttered.

She glared at him, but continued, “And I know your type. You’re the kind that doesn’t have the time to look for someone, and wants it to fall into your lap because essentially, you don’t have the time for a relationship. You think because you know me, because you’ve spent some time with me, and because you’ve seen how limber I am on a yoga mat, that I’m the obvious choice. Plus, it’s convenient for you because I’m Angel’s sister and it has to be convenient for you or otherwise, you would never bother. But it’s not real, and you’re just projecting. We’d probably have great sex, that I’ll give you, but that’s all it would be and I’m not looking to just get laid Mr. Giles—“

”It’s William,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I’m only saving you time and energy here; you don’t need to get upset with me.”

“You’re completely off your bird!” He growled at her.

“Or so intuitive it scares you,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I can’t wait to be rid of you,” he hissed.

She raised a brow. “Feelings mutual.”

When the dance was over, William Giles and Buffy Summers parted ways.

Chapter 3

“Tell me as soon as the car has picked Miss Summers up from the airport,” William barked as he stormed passed his assistant’s desk. “And where are Angel’s case files? I asked for them over twenty minutes ago.” Before his assistant could look up, he had slammed the door of his office.

He pressed his back against the door and breathed hard. He was angry and he needed to retain the anger within him. It kept the sadness away. It was not his assistant he was angry at, or the missing files. He was angry at life, God, the universe. He was angry with whatever force had taken Dru and Angel away.

~

It had only been thirty-six hours since he had gotten the call. He was leaving the office late as usual when his cell rang. He almost did not take the call, as the number that flashed across the screen was unfamiliar.

“William Giles,” he answered.

“Mr. Giles, this is the registrar at St. Vincent’s hospital.”

“How can I help you?” William asked as he made his way out onto the street and tried to hail a cab.

“I need you to come down straight away. I am afraid there has been an accident involving your sister and her husband.”

He felt his pulse start to race. “Are they alright?” he asked, his voice unsteady.

“Please get here as fast as you can, Mr. Giles.”

At that moment, time simultaneously stood still and flew by. The cab could not get to the hospital fast enough. Once he got to the hospital, everything sped up. He was whisked away into a private room and told the news.

“I am so sorry…”

“We did everything we could…”

“A drunk driver…”

“Red light...”

William kept phasing in and out of the conversation. It was like a bad cell phone connection where he could only hear every other sentence, but he sensed when the doctor finished speaking. Grief had been gripping his heart the minute the hospital staff ushered him into the calming pastel pink room.

Dru and Angel were dead.

“I have tried to contact Angel’s next of kin, but I’m having trouble reaching Miss Summers.” The mention of her name brought him out of his own grief and back into the conversation.

Buffy. It had been two years since he had seen her. He had no idea how she was, what was going on in her life. What was she going to do now ? How would she react?

“I have her number, I’ll call her.” William stood up and went into autopilot as he shook the doctor’s hand. “Thank you for everything you have done.”

~

“Mr. Giles.” His assistant’s voice broke him from his thoughts. He had not moved from the door. He stepped aside to open it.

“Yes?”

“The chauffeur just called. Miss Summers is on her way.” He could see the look of sadness and pity in her eyes. He had seen the same look in all of the faces around him since the accident. It was another reason to stay angry; people did not look at you in sympathy if they were terrified of you.

“About time. Where are those bloody files? Time doesn’t stop because people die!” He slammed the door back.

He knew that for certain. Time had not stopped since the accident. The phone call to Buffy had been painful. He heard her sobs as he told her the news. He had arranged all the details to make things as easy as he could for her. First class ticket to London, taxi service to pick her up, and of course, she could stay at the house as long as she wanted.

“Who’s looking after Ella?” Buffy had asked. His eyes widened in shock. In all that had happened, he had momentarily forgotten about his six-month-old niece. His niece who no longer had any parents.

“She’s at home with her nanny, Willow. I’m on my way there now to see her and tell them what has happened.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’ll have the tickets ready for you at the airport.”

“Thank you, William, you’re too kind.”

“It’s no trouble at all, Buffy. We’re family.”

~

Buffy could not believe it. No matter how many times she tried to wrap her mind around it, she could not. She did not want to. How could she accept it, how could she just ‘move on’?

Her brother, her dear brother, was dead. He was the only family she had left, so no, she could not and would not accept it.

Looking across the crowded room with the sea of faces she could not register stood William. He was playing the gracious host. Nodding, smiling, hugging . . . but his eyes, his eyes were empty. He was bereft of any emotion and she understood that all too well because she was too.

As if he knew she was watching, he glanced over and their eyes met. Silent understanding passed between them. Though they had just seen each other the day before to make arrangements for the wake and funeral, they had not had time to really talk about anything but ‘business.’

He kept his gaze on her as she stood, suddenly feeling the need to be near him. She was not even aware really that she was moving, gliding actually, across the crowded family room to see him. The need and intent was there and that was all she knew.

Standing before him, she looked up into his handsome yet drawn face and stared at him.

“Hi.”

He let out a moan, a moan of anguish and in the next instant, she was in his arms and he was holding her tight against him. The dam had let loose and William cried, but not her, not the one who refused to accept that Angel was gone. She was not ready yet, but William was, having just given a eulogy about living on for your loved ones and knowing they ‘were in a better place.’

Anywhere had to be better than here.

Instinctively, she knew he would not like this, would not like losing it in a room of people. It was all about saving face and keeping up appearances with William Giles and she knew he would be horrified later to know he had sobbed his heart out and somehow lost face.

“Come with me,” she said gently, and detached herself from him as much as he had let her. A few people tried to gather around them to see to William and she sent them death ray glares so that they backed off.

She led him into the study; at least what she thought was a study, with mahogany furniture and red coloring. She did not bother to turn on the lights even though the sun was starting to fade and the room was darkening.

She held onto him and he sobbed out his grief. He needed a rock and his rock she would be. Later, she hoped, he would be able to return the favor.

“I just can’t believe she’s gone,” he murmured into her neck.

“I know, William,” she said calmly and stroked his back.

“She was so happy . . . she was so happy . . . “

“I know, William,” Buffy murmured again, thinking of the little girl upstairs napping who was now parentless. She knew how that felt all too well. And so did William.

His head jerked up suddenly, his eyes blazing with intensity into hers. “We’re family,” he whispered.

She nodded, “We are. Even if we haven’t seen each other in –“

She never did get to finish that sentence for William’s lips were plundering hers in a thoroughly heated kiss that stole her breath and made her knees weak. Despite the grief, there was still passion and she accepted it. Accepted it because she did not feel so numb anymore. She felt.

Therefore, it was not with any big surprise that clothes were discarded soon after and they landed in a heap on the red velvet couch, fornicating like wild animals and, she was sure, her screams of pleasure could be heard through the house.

That would surely give them something to talk about.

Chapter 4

Buffy awoke slowly, stretching the sleep from her limbs. She felt rested, and yet not. She remembered waking up so many times, having dreams of Dru and Angel, of their accident, of the funeral, of them clawing out of the grave and imploring her and William to take care of Ella.

William.

She shot up in bed, flattening the sheet to her chest in an attempt at modesty. Like she had to be modest now. How many times had they reached for each other last night? How many times had one of them woken up from a nightmare and comforted the other with sex?

Too many times to count.

In addition, where was the boy? Well, from the sight of his manhood, he was no ‘boy’. He was most definitely a man. Somehow, they had managed to see through the rest of the reception after their first tryst, and then proceeded to go at it like bunnies in William’s room for the rest of the night. Both of them had been insatiable.

Looking over to the nightstand, she found a note. A simple note with William’s scrawl.

Elizabeth –

Have gone back to London. Had to get to work. Stay as long as you like..

~William Giles

God, did he have to be proper, and abrupt and short and so... cold? They had spent the night having mad, passionate sex and this was what she got from it? A note?

Why did he go back to London? He could work from the estate, he had told her so at the wedding. No he wanted to get so far away from her that, he had made the two hour journey back to the office. Message received loud and clear.

Rationally, she knew the reasons they had had sex to begin with. Rationally, she also knew that both of them had been grieving and had simply found solace in the other. That was it. Plain and simple.

So then why did it feel like a slap in the face to not only wake up to find him not here beside her, but to have such a short, cold note left instead. She could almost understand if it had said, “Hey, I had to go into work for a while, why don’t you give me a call or I’ll be home later, feel free to do whatever...” However, William would never say that; and, really, she’d have preferred to not have the note and to just have him there. Not because she wanted another go, not because her ego was feeling bruised and she embarrassed. No, because she wanted to be able to talk to him, to share the morning after her brother’s funeral with someone that could relate, that could understand.

How was he feeling this morning? Did he feel grief? Did he feel the urge to cry knowing that Dru would not be calling to harass him that day? On the other hand, did he just feel regret for their nocturnal activities?

Cold-hearted bastard.

The sound of a child crying jarred her from her spiral into negative town and she quickly gathered her clothes from the floor. Flinging open the door and being greeted by the sunshine beaming down the hallway, Buffy rushed down to see where Ella was. Was it on the right or left? Did she take a left or right from his room...God! She could not find anything in this mausoleum!

The sounds of Ella’s cries were upon her and she burst through the door she thought it was, and found Ella quieting down in the arms of Willow Rosenberg, the nanny.

When Angel had first told her they had gotten a nanny, Buffy had scoffed at him. “Why do you need a nanny for? You can’t take care of your own kid? Do you want her to grow attached to someone else and not recognize you as her parental figure? She’s going to resent you one day.”

She wanted to cry now for that. Not because she did not feel she was right, but because she had given Angel such a hard time, because she had made him feel like a bad father. Now, he was not a father at all. Buffy wanted to reach back in time and take back every mean thing she had ever said to him.

Buffy felt sorry for Willow at that moment. Sorry for her because tears were starting to cascade down her cheeks like a dam had burst. She was torn between wanting to hold onto her niece, hold onto the living remnant of Angel, and flee the room.

“Miss Summers, maybe you should get yourself together before you handle Ella? You might upset her more," Willow suggested kindly, sympathetically.

Buffy nodded dumbly in agreement.

She sucked as an aunt already.

~

William was trying to concentrate on the meeting, he really was. He kept staring out the window thinking.

Miss Summers, he almost laughed aloud at his own stuffiness. After the night of sex they had just shared, he really could not get away with calling her that any more.

He had not meant for things to go so far. When he held her, it was for comfort and then something changed. They shared a connection, an understanding that was unique. He had seen it in her eyes, they were both spinning out of control and they needed an anchor.

Last night was… he could not define it. The sex was not about love nor was it about lust either. It was about need. He needed to feel alive. Death and its consequences had been his only focus since the accident. Nothing made you feel more alive than having sex with a beautiful woman. Well, maybe having lots of sex with a beautiful woman.

However, like most quick fix solutions, the results often cause more problems. Case in point was when he woke up this morning. He could not remember the last time he had woken up with someone in his bed. They had gone to sleep apart. However, when he had woken, they were wrapped up in each other’s arms. It was though their subconscious knew that they needed each other.

He did not want to leave the bed. Somehow, they had been able to shut out the pain and sorrow and he wanted the feeling to remain. In the real world, things did not work that way. He did not have the insight that only comes from experience in relationships, casual or otherwise, to know the proper etiquette. Did he wake her? Engage in the excruciating morning after talk. She looked so at peace, the look of sorrow that she had worn since her arrival was gone. He wanted to keep her safe from the sorrow for as long as he could.

They could not shake hands to say thanks for the memories and walk out of each other’s lives. There was too much at stake now. He had toyed with the idea of a relationship with her. He knew the sex would be great; other people’s relationships had been based on less. It did feel nice to be in someone else arms.

Buffy was not just a someone. He had often thought about her, would ask Angel how she was doing. Her words at the wedding had come back to him often in the last two years. He did want to fall in love, and he could so easily with her. She would not go for that, she would tell him that he was projecting and laugh at the thought.

He had had enough heartache this week. He was not about to add to the count.

Therefore, he did what he did best. Avoided the situation, he kissed her forehead and slipped out of bed. Leaving her a note. He had labored over the words before remembering nothing he could say would change their situation.

“What do you think Mr. Giles?” one of the minions from accounting snapped out him of his thoughts.

He had no clue what they were talking about so he took a wild guess.

“It’s a great plan let’s run with it.” He saw a sea of shocked faces, “Seeing you have everything in order, I might step out. I have a case to look over.” With that, he stood up and left the room.

“So, I guess that settles it. Next week’s theme for causal Friday is dress as your favorite Smurf.”

Chapter 5

Buffy wandered the halls of the Giles’ estate running her hand along the antique furniture. She had helped Willow put Ella down for her afternoon nap and now was trying to keep busy. As she wandered the vast hallways, she tried to imagine what it had been like for William and Dru to grow up in this environment. She could not imagine Giles family cookouts like Angel and she had enjoyed growing up. One look at the formal dinning room also ruled out Mac and Cheese Sundays.

She could of course ask William himself, but that would mean he would have to actually be there. It had been almost a week since he had left for work in London. He had called to check up on Ella every night and most of the time he spoke to Willow. They had spoken briefly though. The phone call had been awkward at best.

“Miss Summers, Mr. Giles on the phone for you.” The butler Wesley handed her the cordless phone as she sat and watched Ella try to crawl and reach her favourite toy.

“Hello.”

“Buffy, hello,” his voice sent involuntary shivers down her body. Her imagination betraying her as visions of their intimacy flashed before her.

“William, what do I owe this privilege?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I will be back at the estate on Friday night.”

“Oh?”

“I would have been there sooner, but I have been snowed under with work. I have taken most of Angel’s case load,” he explained.

“So sorry my brother’s death is such an inconvenience,” She spat. She was so angry with him. William was the only person who knew how she was feeling. They should have been talking about their loss not the extra caseload.

“That’s not what I meant,” she heard his frustration down the line. “When I get back we need to talk.”

“William I think we should let sleeping dogs lie. The other night was--” He cut her off mid sentence.

“I am not talking about the other night. It’s about Ella.” Buffy looked up at her niece who was still trying to reach her toy.

“Oh?” ‘How stupid of me to think you would consider thinking about me.’ “Of course it is about Ella.”

“I just got a copy of Angel and Dru’s Will.”

“What does it say?” Buffy felt a knot form in her stomach.

“I don’t know. I was waiting until I got back to the house. We both have to be present when it is read,” that did not sound good.

“Oh,” Buffy felt the tears well in her eyes again. A will, she had to hear her brother's will be read out. His will because he was dead. She wiped her tears away.

“Buffy love, are you crying?” she heard something change in his voice, a tone she had not heard before. Was it concern? She could not tell in their short time together. They had shared many emotions, anger, frustration, lust among them. However, concern was not one.

“No,” she lied. “I am fine. See you Friday,” she clicked off the phone before he could respond. Before he could hear her sobs.

She let the sadness wash over her like a wave in the ocean, letting it take her where it needed. She had made that decision at the funeral not to judge her emotions or reactions. Her grief needed to be released and when it came, she let it all out.

As she sat and sobbed a barrage of thoughts flooded her brain. Angel and Dru’s wedding, the last time they had spoken, seen each other, fought amongst the muddle one question hit her like a bolt from the blue.

‘Did William just call me love?’

Buffy had gone back over the phone call in her head many times trying to figure out what was going on between them. She had come up blank every time. As she looked up at the portrait of him in the sitting room, she asked. “What are we going to do William?”

~

It was ridiculous that he should feel nervous about entering his own home. Absolutely ridiculous and he reprimanded himself for it. Not only that, but he cursed Buffy for it and then immediately felt guilty. It was not her fault that he felt this way. Well, it was in a roundabout way. It was her he was nervous to see, however, he brought it upon himself did he not? He was the one that left her after – clear the throat again, William – their night together.

A night that often played in his mind like a continuous movie reel. He was certain he could still feel how soft her flesh was under his hands, and often times, would flex his hands as if she were under him and he was straining to touch her.

He shook his head and cleared his throat – again.

He hated hearing the despondency in her voice when he had called her, hated hearing the chill that was there too, just for him. He could almost hear Dru in his head yelling at him for leaving her as he did. Not for what they had shared, but for what they had lost. They had lost together, not one over the other and now they had family to worry about.

The fate of Ella.

He was not father material, he was barely uncle material, so what fate was in store for him—for Ella? Buffy was not mother material – well, no that was not true. He could definitely see her as a mum. She would be the type of mother who would have the ‘sex talk’ when Ella turned thirteen. Ella would be a yoga loving, Led Zeppelin listening, feminist. But not a hard feminist, a soft feminist. Like Buffy.

Was she a feminist though? She was—

“Oh, there you are.”

He blinked, gathering his bearings after nearly colliding with her on his way in the door. “Here I am. You going out?”

She gave him a look, “No, I was waiting for you. Ella is napping and I needed some air.”

He nodded, trying to be amiable as possible, trying for normalcy. It was difficult when all he could imagine was what was underneath that tight pink tank and white frilly skirt. In his mind’s eye, he saw her hair all spread out on his pillow. He shook his head, “How is the tot?”

“The tot as you so lovingly refer to her as has a name. It’s Ella. She’s your niece. Did you forget that fact?”

“Buffy—“

“When is the reading of the will?” she asked abruptly, her pink lips pursing together, her green eyes cold and imploring.

“The attorney reading it will be here in about an hour.”

“How nice. So glad you could make it home in time for that,” she bit out and waltzed past him. He watched her go. What was it about Elizabeth that reduced him to the little boy that used to run around with grass stains and scrapes on his knees, getting in trouble for pulling Dru’s braids?


Buffy’s heart was pounding as she strolled onto the estate. That would not do. That would not do at all. He was not supposed to affect her like that. She could have a racing heart out of anger, but not desire. On the other hand, the memory of her desire. No, no, no. If she felt so inclined, she was sure she could pitch a tantrum right on the lawn. If it would help take away the sudden rush, she felt upon laying eyes on William again. One name came to mind when looking upon him: Adonis. Of course, another name soon followed, Jackass.

She stood in the center of the vast lawn and took some deep Buddha breaths, aligning herself back to center and expelling all thoughts of William from her mind. It took a bit, especially considering she swore she kept hearing Angel’s voice in the wind saying “He’s not so bad sis”, followed by a knowing chuckle.

***

“Is there some class you attorney’s have to take to ensure that you’re as stuffy as you can be?” Buffy nearly shouted at William after attorney Jackson had left.

William sat in the leather chair he had been sitting in since attorney Jackson had dropped the bomb on them.

He blinked up at Buffy. “What?”

She snapped her fingers in his face. “Snap out of it William!”

A rush of annoyance went through him and he jumped up. “Stop screeching at me!”

“Then say something!”

“What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?”

“Let me take her. I’ll take Ella away—“

”No!” he shouted. “She’s been left to both of us and here she will stay. This is her home. The only home she knows. I’ll not have her being carted around country to country.”

“You’re going to play dad?” Buffy asked sardonically, putting her hands on her hips.

He narrowed his eyes at her, “You going to play mum?”

Her eyes glinted with a challenge. “Looks like you’ve got a permanent houseguest, William.”

Chapter 6

It had been two days since Ella had been bequeathed to them. Two whole days since Buffy had learned she had had to uproot her life, change her whole country, and live with William in his too large, too cold, too much like a mausoleum, home.

Ella was currently screaming her head off in her crib and Buffy felt helpless. She had sent Willow away for the day, wanting to acclimate herself to her niece. She did not want someone else raising Ella, and she contemplated letting Willow go so she could take on the responsibility of parenting her. Now, however, she was having second thoughts. Perhaps she should have let Willow teach her Ella’s schedule first. She was flying by the seat of her pants. On day two and while she had picked up on some things, she was failing at others. And of course, it was not as if William had come to help. No, of course not. Why would he? He just holed himself up in his study and did not come out until dinner was on the table.

Frowning down at a crying Ella, Buffy had an idea.

Scooping up her niece, Buffy held her close, trying to speak calmly. The poor thing probably missed her parents. Sure, she was young, but she had to know Mommy and Daddy were missing. In addition, she had barely seen Elizabeth over the past few months. In fact, Buffy had seen her when she was born, and then, just pictures. Then what does she do? She sends Willow away, the one person she does know and has a connection with. No wonder Ella had been so fussy.

She really did suck at this.

Frustrated with her inability to take care of Ella, angry at William for not coming out to see her, and missing Angel so much she ached inside, Buffy let the tears go. She cried silently as she rushed to William’s study, cradling Ella to her chest. She could not do this alone.

She would not do this alone.

Remembering vaguely where William’s study was – she was sure he did not want her to remember—she weaved her way down halls and in rooms. The maid, dusting outside the room, rushed to stop her and she merely glared at the woman, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

Bursting into the room, she found William bent over the desk, his suit jacket off – who wore a suit jacket to work at home– his sleeves pulled up and his shirt unbuttoned. His blond hair was tousled and spiked from having run his fingers through it. She remembered that from when she had run her fingers through it.

He looked up at her, startled. “Buffy—“

Marching in, Buffy held Ella out and plopped her in the middle of William’s gigantic desk before spinning on heel and marching back out. She slammed the door shut and leaned against the door in exhaustion. Ella wailed, and Buffy cried.

***

William stared at Ella turning beat red and screaming at the top of her lungs. Giant tears fell from her brown eyes and William was at a loss.

“Buffy!” he called and that made Ella cry harder.

It was then that a foul order stung his nose.

“Oh shit,” William muttered, as that was exactly what it was. “I don’t know the first thing--!” he shouted to the door and then stopped when Ella screamed at him.

***

William paced his office, Dictaphone in one hand and case file in the other. Ella was strapped to his chest in the baby pouch. He had found the pouch in her room when he had gone to change her nappy. Less said about that the better. At that moment, he had made up his mind to give Willow a pay rise.

He had remembered seeing Dru walking around the estate with Ella in the pouch when she was unsettled. Dru, what would she say if she could see him. Not a lot he suspected, too busy laughing. Had Ella heard any laughing since they had passed? He could not remember; guilt flared in him. What kind of parent was he?

Ella’s sigh broke him from his thoughts. He continued his pacing. He continued to work.

“Dear Mr Morrow, in regards to the case McLaughlin versus Orion I must draw your attention to the following facts.” Ella’s giggle interrupted his train of thought.

“What’s so funny princess?” she reached up to grab the Dictaphone from his hands. He gave it over willingly.

“Have something to add to the case?” he could not help but smile as visions of a grown Ella strolling into court as she argued another case. Tears replaced the smile as the realisation that Dru and Angel would never see this little angel grow into a woman. He looked down and saw her trying to eat the Dictaphone.

“Okay, I get the message, dinner time it is.”

***

‘Note to self, next time I feed Ella put the bib on me not her.’

He was really trying to be angry but it was too hard. He and Ella had been in the kitchen for the last hour eating supper. Not so much eating it, more like William would offer the spoon to Ella, Ella would swat it away and the pumpkin mash would land back onto his white Hugo Boss shirt.

“Come on nibblet, just want to have at least one mouthful, then we can call it a day.” He waved the spoon in front of her mouth, which remained clamped shut. He knew what he had to do.

“Here comes the aeroplane,” he waved the spoon around whilst making various burring sounds. Ella thought this was the funniest thing she had ever seen and started to giggle.

As she opened her mouth, he shovelled the spoonful into it.

“Yes, I did it!” William exclaimed, maybe he could do this after all.

“Did what?” he spun around to see Buffy standing in the doorway.

“Nothing,” he responded. He did not want to give her any more ammunition by telling her that it had taken him so long to feed her.

“Nice shirt, I didn’t know that orange splotches were the new black,” she looked him up and down.

“Yeah well, Ella is just going through her abstract phase,” he turned back to her. “Aren’t you love?” He checked his watch. “I guess its bath time,” he picked her up from the high chair.

“I can do it if you want?” Buffy offered.

“No, it’s fine.”

***

Buffy was trying not to be annoyed, she really was. However, as she pressed her ear to the bathroom door she was not happy.

He was supposed to hate this, not be able to cope, ask her for help. Prove that he was the selfish, self centred, uptight, stuck in the mud she wanted him to be. That of course, was the selfish part of her. The part of her that wanted him to fail so that she would feel less like she did. She knew, logically, that was not fair and it was not right, but goddammit, it was not fair that he was having fun and had not been reduced to a near breakdown as she had.

Although, he had also avoided her and Ella for two days. He had one afternoon of taking care of their niece and becoming acclimated to her. Buffy had two and felt as if she had learned nothing.

The plain and simple fact was if they were going to take care of Ella, they were going to have to do it together. As a team. As a . . . something. It was not going to be Willow and Buffy, or just Buffy. Oh, no. William had to be involved, just had to be.

Now all she had to do was inform him of that and hope the fur did not fly.

“Hey, stop slashing, you are making me all wet,” he laughed.

He was laughing now. How had he gone from tightly wound to giggling schoolgirl so quickly?

She opened the door and the sight before her astounded her.

Ella as sitting in her bath chair up to her neck in bubbles with a shirtless William kneeling beside the bath. She looked over his torso as memories of the passion flashed before her eyes.

“She splashed me,” William offered in way of explanation of his state of undress. He scrambled to put the wet shirt back on.

“I bet she did.” Buffy replied. “Why don’t you get washed up, I can take it from here.” She grabbed a towel from the rack and picked Ella up from the bath.

“I can do it,” William replied defensively.

“I know you can, I just thought you might like to change out of your wet orange shirt,” she looked in his eyes she saw confusion, grief and pride.

“We are in this together William,” she rubbed Ella’s back as she held her in her arms.

“Are we?”

“Yes, Angel and Dru, they asked us to raise her. Not you or me but us together.” She had spent the past few hours working it over in her head.

“So, we are in this together.”

“Yes we are, now comes the hard part.” She went to leave the room, “Figuring out what together means.”

Buffy waited until she was sure Ella was fast asleep before meeting William in the formal room – and weren’t they all formal—to talk.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the room and found him standing in front of the fireplace, staring into the blaze, he had apparently started – or did he have the hired help do it for him?

“Did you start the fire?” she asked him.

He turned, slowly, as if he knew she were there, watching him. “I did.” He studied her closely. “You look surprised.”

“I thought the only thing you did was work, eat and sleep. Figured maybe starting a fire was ‘beneath you’ somehow.”

He frowned, “No, it’s not. I’m not entirely like that, Buffy.”

She sat down on the overstuffed burgundy couch Indian style. “Aside from knowing you in the biblical sense, I don’t know much else. Especially when you hide yourself away in your office. Or take off to London for a week.”

He sighed heavily, “Buffy—“

“May I finish please?”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded, “Go ahead. Tear me up.”

“I’m not going to – okay, maybe I am a little. Look William, we’re both consenting adults. Having sex with you was... well, I’d have to say it was almost inevitable I guess. Don’t ask me how I know that, I just do. But that’s not the point. I’ve had one-night stands before, and well, I’d thought I’d gotten out of them by the time I graduated college. Apparently not—“

“That wasn’t a one night—“

“Yes, it was. Not in the sense where we don’t see each other anymore, but in the sense where we don’t ever do that again and pretend it never happened. I can live with that. What sucks up one side and down the other is not the fact that you left after the sex because of the sex. What sucks is that you left for an entire week to not only leave me in this huge, unfamiliar mansion in a country that is not my own and with a niece I have barely seen, but you left the day after my brother – and might I remind you, your sister’s – funeral. Can I ask you a question, William?”

Jaw clenching, he nodded abruptly.

“Do you have a heart?”

He looked away from her.

“Normally I’d feel guilty for accusing someone of something so horrendous, but I feel justified in this. I mean….” She shook her head. “We both lost our family, William. Did you feel any grief when you woke up in the morning or did you just want to be done with it? File it away and move on back to work.”

“We would have done it again,” he said, finally.

“No, I don’t think we would have and that’s not the point. The point is, you left the next morning with a note and for a week. I don’t think it makes you brave, William. I think it makes you a coward to run and hide like that.”

“Like you’re a saint. You came on to me!” he barked at her.

She jumped up from where she was sitting and got in his face, “I did not come on to you! I was trying to comfort you when I came over to take you out of the room, you jackass. You were about to lose it and I was trying to help you save face. I know how much it means to you to come across as a cold automaton.”

They stood there, glaring at each other, chests heaving. Buffy could not believe it, and she was definitely trying to deny it, but God, she was turned on. Who knew that arguing – something Buffy did not particularly enjoy doing as a pastime, could be so hot? She knew however, it was not just arguing with anyone, it was arguing with William.

The thought, the feeling, just made her angrier. Taking a full step back, she took a deep, what she called, ‘Buddha breath’, and willed herself to relax.

She caught it then. The pain and regret in his eyes. She felt bad, horrible. “I’m sorry, William,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean all that.”

He let out a derisive laugh. “Yes, you did. Don’t lie, Buffy, it doesn’t suit you.”

“I can admit when I’m wrong. I’m sorry.”

“You just told me how you felt justified, and now you’re saying you’re wrong about that?”

“Yes, because I can see that you are going through something too. I’m used to expressing my emotions and myself, so when I’m faced with someone who cannot, I don’t understand it. I shouldn’t attack that which I don’t understand.”

William shook his head, “You really are into that new age, spiritual bullshit, aren’t you?”

She narrowed her eyes, her temper starting to flare again. “I’m apologizing to you and you’re insulting me. That’s just great, William.”

“You’re not apologizing to me, you’re patronizing me.”

Throwing up her hands, Buffy stalked off, “Let me know when you’re ready to talk, William. I’ll be in my room. And don’t worry; I think I’ll be able to control myself.”

~

When Buffy came back downstairs in the early hours of the morning for some warm milk, she was surprised to see William still sitting in front of the fire.

“William,” he turned at the sound of his name wiping his tears away. She looked down at the glass of scotch in his hand and the near empty bottle on the side table.

“Elizabeth,” he went to stand but faltered and slumped back into his chair. “Care for a drink?” he raised the bottle and read the label. “Finest in all of Scotland.”

“A world of no,” she walked over to him. “William what are you doing?”

His glassy eyes tried to focus on her. “Some may drown their sorrows but mine, they like to swim. Pour another one barman before the sun gets let back in.” He went to pour himself another but Buffy stopped him.

“William,” her soft words sent a thrill through his body. “This won’t help.”

“You don’t know me Buffy. You said so yourself,” he shook himself from her grasp.

“You want me to feel the feelings. Well this is me, feeling the feelings. I am sorry if it doesn’t compare to the navel gazing you are used to.”

“You are not feeling anything William, other than drunk off your arse,” she folded her arms across her chest. “This will not solve anything.”

“What is there to solve Buffy? This is not a Nancy Drew novel. This is life. We don’t get Dru and Angel back at the end. They are gone. Plain and simple,” his anger was surfacing.

“Don’t you think I know that William. Getting drunk is not the best thing for you right now.” She tried to explain.

“What do you care Miss Summers? Worried I will get all wistful and start projecting again?” He stood up and moved in towards her.

“What are you talking about?” Buffy pushed him back with force. “William, you are drunk. I think the best thing for you to do right now is go to bed.”

“Thanks for the offer. However the best thing I could do for me is to have another drink.” He moved to face the fire and emptied his glass. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

“It’s easy for you, not me. I think with my head and not my heart. Never had a reason to. Black and white. I see a problem I fix it. No emotion involved ever, has to be that way.” His voice softened.

“That morning when I woke up, you looked so at peace, happy even. I wanted to keep you safe, protect you from all the grief and sadness. I knew I could not fix the situation or take the pain away. I knew if I didn’t wake you, I could protect you from the inevitable, even for a short time.”

He turned around to face her. The tears flowing down her cheeks did not go unnoticed. He started to leave the room.

“Not bad for a man without a heart,” he said as he left the room.

Buffy was not sure how to handle the mess she had made worse with William. As if things were not delicate enough, she had gone and single-handedly destroyed him. Looking back on her actions, on her words that had cut him when she meant to scratch, she felt horrible. The only justification as to why she was so hard on him was because she wanted him to feel the raw ache and pain she had felt when he had left her alone.

Perhaps she had meant to cut after all.

The only way to describe how she felt now was guilt. Pure, unadulterated guilt. She had been so caught up in her own anger and grief that she had forgotten that William was a human being, and as such did have feelings. Feelings he masked well, but feelings nonetheless. His admission as to why he had not woken her spoke of those feelings. Those feelings he wanted to spare her from facing and dealing with in the light of day. The day after the burial, when an injury as harsh as that hurts the most.

It did not mean, however, that she did not want him there. She rather needed him there. He was the only familiar face she knew. The only one that she could share her anguish with. She was not looking for sexual comfort; she was looking for someone to relate to.

Looking up at the clock in Ella’s room as her niece napped – with Willow’s help – Buffy stood and flicked on the baby monitor and grabbed the other one to give to Willow on her way down to the kitchen. She had a plan.

Crossing the way to the playroom for Ella, she found Willow arranging Ella’s toys and books in the buckets. “Hi, Willow. Here’s the monitor. I’m just gonna head down to the kitchen and fix William something to eat.”

Willow smiled up at her. “Sure thing, Buffy.”

“Thanks.”

Humming lightly in an attempt to calm herself, Buffy quickly prepared – to the dismay of the cook – scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. The cure-all for any hangover certainly. Setting up a tray, she placed a tall glass of OJ on it with the food, a tall glass of ice water and three Tylenol.

Heading up to William’s room, she held her breath before placing the tray down on the floor and knocking lightly on William’s door.

“What?” he barked.

“Mail, sir,” she said simply, trying to disguise her voice by putting her hand over her mouth so he would let her enter.

“Come in.”

Mustering up her courage, she twisted the knob and pushed, then quickly bent over and picked up the tray, entering William’s dark as a tomb room.

“Buffy?” he asked, and she could barely make him out through the dark, squinting at her.

“It’s me.”

After a beat, soft light from his nightstand lamp shone the path to him. He looked a mess. His hair was rumpled with wayward curls, his eyes appeared red from where she stood – so they must be bad—and he looked paler than marble. “Come to finish me off?” he asked her, frowning. He gestured to the tray, “Put arsenic in that?”

She shook her head, biting back a retort, and moved forward, keeping her focus on him. Placing the tray on his lap, which was covered by a black silk comforter and from what she could see, he had black sheets and pillowcases to match. The carpet was cream colored, and the drapes were red and thick, which accounted for the extreme darkness in the light of the afternoon sun.

“I like to have a big breakfast after a drunken night. I find it helps. I put some Tylenol on the tray too, in between the water and OJ,” she explained, gesturing to the tray as she stood before him.

He looked up at her warily, “What is this?”

“Breakfast?”

“You know what I mean, Buffy.”

“It’s an apology. I tried spelling out ‘I’m sorry’ with the bacon, but they were uncooperative.”

He cracked a slight grin and then, seeming to catch himself, shook it off. “Look—“

“Can I just say something, William?”

He stared at her for a minute and then nodded briskly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lashed out on you like I did. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you like a human being with feelings. We all deal with grief in our own way and I wanted you to be like me. It doesn’t work that way. People are not robots and you cannot make them do what you want, or feel the way you want them too. I’m sorry if I seemed as if I was patronizing you. I was stuck in my own little bubble of pain and I failed to see that you were indeed going through something too. I just…. I just want to start over. For Ella’s sake and for ours. Can we do that?”

He blinked a few times as her words and actions sunk in. When she had come into his room he was expecting another round of “let’s tell William how many character flaws he has” not breakfast and never an apology.

Part of him wanted to hurt her, cut her down make her feel as vulnerable and small as she had made him feel. One look at the breakfast tray and the person holding it and his anger towards her melted away, Truth be told while Buffy infuriated seemingly every fiber of his being he could never be angry at her, hate her. He could never hate someone he ….

“Well William? Can we?”

He could see the regret in her eyes. He never wanted to be the reason she hurt. She had already felt more pain than she needed too. They both had. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps together they could heal. It would definitely be something new for him.

“We can do that,” her smile warmed his heart. He frowned as she got up off the bed.

She let out a breath that he was sure she had not been aware she was holding. The big sigh of relief. “Thank you, William.” Their eyes locked for a minute and she started to fidget slightly, and her eyes darted around the room. She was uncomfortable suddenly, he surmised. Interesting that he had that kind of power over her. “Well, I will leave you to it,” she said finally and started to turn to leave, except he did not want her to leave.

“Stay,” she turned back to him at him to give her reason to. He was coming up blank. He did not have a reason other than he wanted her to stay. “I don’t think I could do it on my own.”

Buffy’s heart raced at his words the intensity of his stare alone caused her pulse to race. She was in trouble big time. “D-do what?”

“Eat this breakfast.”

“Sure, I can do that,” and she let out another big breath she had been holding as she sat down on the bed. At this rate she would need a paper bag to breathe into.

After a few minutes of eating in the most comfortable silence, the two of them had ever had. Buffy could see the cloud of worry descend upon him. Instead of forcing him to open up though, she waited, hoping he would.

“Buffy, I have something to tell you and I don’t know how you are going to react.” He sat back against the headboard.

“Yes, you do.” Buffy answered back. “You know I am not going to like it,” she crossed her arms ready for a fight.

“Well yeah, I have to go back to London tomorrow,” he searched her face for some kind of reaction.

“Work,” she seemed to be processing the information

“Yeah, my case load has doubled since... the accident and I need to be there.”

“Are you coming back?”

“Of course I am coming back. Do you think I would just leave you here alone?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” she knew it was a low blow.

“Are we back to this again? I admit it I screwed up, but to be fair I was a little out of my depth. It’s not every morning you wake up with a beautiful woman in your bed. Not everyday your sister dies in a car accident. I made the wrong decision, one I will be paying for it would seem for a very very long time.” He ran his hands through his hair in pure desperation.

“William, I’m sorry.”

“Stop it, when you apologize, its not as though you wipe the slate clean to hurt me again. I do not know many things in this world Buffy, what to do, what to say. When my father died, it was sudden like Dru. I was all set to go backpacking around the world, see the world, and live a little. It was taken from me. I had to take over the firm straight away. I had an hour off for the funeral, that’s it. When mother was sick, I worked to keep things going so that Dru could look after her,” his tears caught him by surprise as they flowed freely down his cheeks.

He felt Buffy’s arms around him as he sagged into her embrace. Letting go of the tension, guilt and pain. It took him sometime to figure the sobs that he could hear were his own.

“It’s okay William. Let it out. We will get through this.” Buffy’s voice soothed him. He lifted his head from her shoulder and looked into her eyes. He wanted to feel anything but this, he wanted to feel her.

Buffy became very still as she watched his expression change from grief to desire. She had seen the look on his face many times during their night together. As his hand slipped behind her head, she knew the outcome, and she did not reject it as she thought she might, instead she welcomed it. That alone frightened her more than anything did, and yet there she was closing her eyes as he drew her in. God, he had her under some kind of spell. In addition, just as their lips touched the bedroom door flew open.

“Ella is awake.” They sprang apart so quickly the tray went flying onto the floor. Willow stood in the doorway with Ella on her hip. Looking at the mess in front of her.

Buffy looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She looked between the mess on the floor and William trying to figure out which was the bigger disaster.

“Thank you Willow, I will take her.” William had recovered more quickly and crawled out of bed. He strode across the room and took the baby from her arms.

“Buffy, Are you ok?” Willow showed genuine concern on her face, as did William.

“Yeah, fine, I had better go and get this cleaned up,” and with that she ran out of the room.

Chapter 9

Later, when the mess was cleaned up from the overturned breakfast tray, and William had returned to his room to shower and get ready for the day, Buffy had sprinted up to visit with Ella in an attempt to put as much distance between her and William as she could. She told herself it was a fluke, remnants of their night together and nothing more. The thing that irked her was that she felt something inside her taking root and growing. Spreading. Spreading like wildfire through her and she knew what that thing was and she did not want it. Not now. It was too much to handle, and besides which, it was not real. It was her clinging to something, anything that would make things better for a little while. It was a human reaction to seek out comfort where comfort was offered. However, it could be argued that William had not exactly doled out comfort readily. He was trying though. They had reached a truce, an understanding of sorts, and what did she do? She soaked it up, like baby oil on flesh in the sun, ready to offer up any kind of contact he offered.

She had to get a grip.

Coming into the nursery, Willow greeted her with a shy smile as she handed Ella a bottle. Ella lay back and sucked hard on it. “Buffy, miss—“

“Oh don’t start with the ‘miss’ crap. Just Buffy,” she told Willow, reaching in the crib and stroking her niece’s curly locks.

“Buffy, I didn’t...that is, I didn’t interrupt anything did I?”

Buffy froze with her heart in her throat. She shook her head vehemently, “No, no, William and I were just talking. Just talking about... stuff.”

“May I be so bold, Buffy?”

Buffy blinked and stared at Willow. “You may be as bold as you wish. Bold it on up.”

Willow giggled slightly, “Buffy, is there something going on with you and Master William?”

Buffy swallowed hard and crossed her arms across her chest, a defense mechanism. “No, what do you – no... What... like what?”

“You know, a romance. Love…” She turned red. Buffy guessed what she was thinking but would not say. “Something.”

“No, he’s just and I’m just...” Letting out a near growling sigh, Buffy plunked down on the plush carpet next to Ella’s crib and gazed longingly at her niece. She had no one to talk to here. She was alone, in every sense of the word. There was William, sure, but they could barely get along for five minutes without arguing about this or that – or trying to make out like hormone-crazed teenagers. Her life was back in the States. Everything that was hers was back in the States. What did she have here? She had Ella and that was it. Moreover, while she wished she could say that was enough, and although it made her feel like a horrible aunt to say it, Ella was not enough to sustain her. She barely knew her! In addition, she could not talk or walk yet. Even if she could do all that, she could not very well unload all her problems with William on the little girl now could she? She also could not make a habit of calling home since it was so expensive, she was not working now, and she refused to rely on William even if it seemed that that was what she was doing.

With that muddling her brain, Buffy burst into tears, turning her head from Ella, not wanting to disturb or upset her. She grabbed some tissues on her way to the rocking chair across the room to cry her heart out... again.

“Buffy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

Buffy waved her off, fearing another ‘miss’ was coming soon. “Don’t apologize. I’m just... so weepy. I hate it. I know it may seem as if I’m flighty and just follow my emotions on a whim, but I’m really not... I’m never like this.”

“You just lost your...” Willow cleared her throat, “It’s understandable.”

“I have no one to talk to, Willow. No one. My brother is-- My friends are across the pond. My job, my life, everything was uprooted and changed. I haven’t even seen anything but this house and the grounds. I haven’t seen the country, done any sightseeing or anything. No wonder I feel so... so... lost. I haven’t got anything here except for Ella. Moreover, I can’t leave her. I won’t do that. It’s not an option for me to go and William won’t go.” She took a deep calming Buddha breath and wiped at her eyes. “I’m a stranger in a strange country and I haven’t got anyone to talk to, to show me around, or to help me. I’m a self-sufficient person, quite independent but here I don’t feel that way at all.”

Willow moved so that she knelt in front of the sobbing mess that was Buffy and handed her more tissues. “Buffy, it’s understandable. It makes complete sense that you feel this way. I know I’m not much, and I’m just the help—“

“Don’t say that!” Buffy exclaimed, “You don’t know what you do, do you? Taking care of my niece, helping me with her, teaching me what I need to know. You’re not ‘just the help’.”

Willow smiled gently, “Thank you, but Buffy, if you like, you can talk to me. I don’t talk with Master William—“

“Please stop calling him that.”

“I will in front of you.”

Buffy smiled through her tears that were now ending. When would they dry up? It seemed like a pipe had sprung a leak within her. “Thank you, Willow.”

“Would you like to accompany me out one night this week? I have a group of friends I could introduce you to. It’d do you some good, Buffy.”

Buffy nodded and felt some light come at the end of her tunnel. “I like that idea a lot. Meet some new people, and just get out of here and see things other than this house and its grounds.”

“Do you think Ma—William will mind if you accompany me?”

“Frankly, I don’t give a damn if he does.”

“So there’s… nothing?”

Buffy smiled now, “No, we’re just… I don’t know how to define it, but there is nothing.”

“Do you find him attractive, Buffy?”

Buffy laughed nervously, “Oh yes, I do. But we’re too different and we’d just make each other miserable.”

“That’s too bad. I’ve often thought that William needs a good woman in his life. Someone the exact opposite of him to liven him up a bit. You’d be perfect.”

“No, I think I’d just drive him to… well, drink.”

*********

William dried his hair as he made his way back to his room. The shower had taken the edge off his hang over but his thoughts were still muddled and it had nothing to do with the scotch.

He sighed as he sat back down on his bed, the softness beckoning him to lie back down. He gave into that easily. The longer he stayed in his room, the less he would have to deal with Buffy. The thought of her alone caused his head to thump a little harder. At least he thought it was his head.

It seemed as though they could not be in the same room together without yelling or kissing or both. If he was being honest with himself, he enjoyed one as much as he enjoyed the other. He never thought he would lead a passionate life. He put those thoughts to bed the day he took over his father’s company. He knew he would marry one day, even fall in love if he was lucky, but not feel the all-consuming pull of one person to another. He barely had time to eat dinner at home, let alone invest time into a relationship.

He was jealous of Angel and Dru’s relationship. Somehow, Angel had found the time to love another passionately and even better have it returned in spades. He looked over at their wedding picture; Dru had given it to him as a thank you present. It had Dru and Angel in the middle with Buffy and himself on each side. He had questioned it when she had given it to him.

“What do I need a picture of Miss Summers for?”

Dru smiled as she took the picture from his hands and placed it on the bedside table.

“Will, she is a part of the family now, just as much as Angel,” he snorted at the thought.

“Hardly, it’s not like she is married to anyone in this family.”

“No, but she only has Angel. Her parents have died. Surely you can reach down in that big black heart of yours and feel a little something for her,” he hurt at her words.

“I have a heart Dru and it’s not all black.”

“I know Will. The sooner you remember that, the easier it will happen.”

“What? What will happen?”

Dru looked back at the picture and back at Will, “Love.”

He was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of Buffy’s voice.

“I have no one to talk to, Willow,” he knew she was not in the room. He looked around his room to find the source of her voice. He lifted up the duvet to find Ella’s baby monitor under his bed. Willow must have dropped it in the earlier commotion. He stared at it as he heard her voice.

“My job, my life, everything was uprooted and changed. I haven’t even seen anything but this house and the grounds. I haven’t seen the country, done any sightseeing or anything. No wonder I feel so... so... lost. I haven’t got anything here except for Ella. Moreover, I can’t leave her. I won’t do that. It’s not an option for me to go and William won’t go.”

He was such a git. All this time had passed and he had been so caught up in his own grief and confusion he had not even spared a thought for Buffy and what she had given up to be here.

He looked back at the photo of the four of them. His family, what would Dru say to him. He winced as he followed that thought through to its natural conclusion. She would not be happy. Buffy had picked up and moved here without a second thought and what had he given her in return besides a hard time. She was family, her, Ella and himself. They were the only link each of them had to their past and they need each other in order to have some kind of future.

“I’m a stranger in a strange country and I haven’t got anyone to talk to, to show me around, or to help me. I’m a self-sufficient person, quite independent but here I don’t feel that way at all.”

He clicked the monitor off having heard enough.

He had taken the part of her he admired most and he had not even realized it. He was too busy wanting to prove her wrong that he had not even stopped to listen to her. She needed a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to her and what did he offered her. A quick tumble in the sheets followed by a healthy dose of denial.

He had really messed things up. He just hoped he was not too late to fix.

“Why don’t you take a bath or something?” Willow suggested. “Unwind some? Ella will just pick up on your bad mood and she’ll get in a bad mood and—“

“I got it Willow, thanks,” Buffy chuckled. “Yes, I think you’re right. A bath sounds like a marvelous idea. Then maybe I’ll even work up the nerve to venture out… somewhere. Or, you know, at least meditate outside to further relax.”

Willow chuckled, “Sounds like you’ve got yourself a plan.”

“Maybe we could take Ella for a walk?”

“Ring me when you’re ready.”

“Ring you…” Buffy shook her head and wrinkled her nose. “That sounds so Queen of England. I’ll just come and ask if you’re ready.”

“Thank you, Buffy.”

“For?”

“For not treating me like just the hired help.”

“Well, of course you’re not ‘just the help’. You’re my new friend here in England.”

********

Venturing down the hall, heading for her bedroom, Buffy started to hum. Being able to let out her pent up emotions had helped. Having a good cry with a sympathetic ear that did not turn into an enjoyable make out session followed by even more confusing feelings helped even more.

She was lost in her musings of a bubble bath, a nap and a walk with Ella that she had barely noticed William rounding the corner and coming at her until he was very nearly on top of her.

“Buffy,” he said, grabbing her arms to keep her from knocking into him.

She snapped her attention up, “Oh, what? I’m sorry I’m just – what?”

“Lost in your own world?” he asked with a slight smirk.

Damn that sexy smirk. “Yeah, I’m – what is it?”

“What are you doing today?”

She blinked, “Huh?”

“Are you all right? You’re a lot quicker than this Buffy.”

She shook her head to clear it. “I’m just…. I’m a little worn out I guess. I was going to take a bath and maybe go for a walk later with Ella and Willow. Why? What’s up?”

“I want to take you into town.”

Her eyes widened, “What?”

“You know, in town. Show you around, stuff like that.”

She eyed him suspiciously. “Why?”

He shrugged, “Why not?”

“Did you happen to hear –“

“Look, the thing is, you got me thinking this morning. We made a truce and all that, right?”

“Right,” she replied slowly.

“So, I’m taking it one step further. You’re cutting me a break, and now I’m going to cut you one. It’s struck me that you’ve given up quite a lot to be here, Buffy. That’s a damn brave thing you’ve done moving here to be with Ella and – well, Ella and you’re in this house day in and day out trying to be acclimated to this place, and never seeing outside this estate. I realize that it’s not fair to you. So, I want to take you out. Show you around. Once you have a general idea of where you’re going, maybe you’ll feel a bit better about having to stay here with me.”

She blinked up at him before nodding profusely. “Okay, okay. William, I don’t. . . I don’t hate you.”

“I know you don’t hate me. I do not think you’re capable of hating anyone,” he said, smiling gently down at her.

“You should smile more,” she told him without thinking. He was so handsome when he smiled. So cute and she could imagine that he would hate to hear that he was cute. However, he was. His smile lit up his whole face, including his eyes that had been lacking that spark he had had in them before. Smiling for William was definitely of the good. It made him less Mr. Rochester, and more Mr. Knightly.

“Should I?” he asked, a husky timbre to his voice. Was he flirting with her? It definitely appeared that he was.

“Yes, you should. It looks good on you,” she said resolutely and looked away his intense stare making her nervous.

He smiled wider. “So, what do you say, hmm? Take a bath and then accompany me out for the day?”

“You don’t have, you know, work to do?” she asked, and wanted to kick herself for asking that. She did not want to remind him that he was skipping out on work to take her out.

“I can leave it until later.”

“Do you need a bath too?”

He laughed, “No, I don’t.”

“Won’t the world spin off its axis if you don’t do work and play hooky?”

“It’ll keep until later.”

Buffy smiled, “Maybe I can make ‘later’ turn into tomorrow.”

He grinned. “Not bloody likely.”

********

Buffy tried to keep from glancing at William as they walked into town but ever since they had left the estate, it had been hard not to. First, he was not in a suit. He was still in a pair of dress pants and what she assumed was a Hugo Boss casual shirt. That term it self was an oxymoron with a navy blue cashmere sweater over the top. His hair lacked its slicked back appearance and she could see which side of the family Ella had gotten her curly hair from. He was as casually dressed as she had ever seen, he still looked as serious as ever. She could tell he had made the effort to look casual and it made her laugh.

“Do I have something on my nose,” William stopped walking and turned to face her as he caught her on the fiftieth glance of the day.

“What? No I was just,” she looked him up and down. “Do you own a T-Shirt?”

“Well, yes,” he looked at her as if she had lost her marbles completely. “Several actually.”

“Ok, let me rephrase. Do you ever wear any of them?”

“Of course,” he looked down at what he was wearing and then at her outfit. “Am I over dressed?”

“Well, I thought we were going for a walk into town not a polo game.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I would never wear this to a polo game it’s much to inf…” He stopped as he heard Buffy’s giggle.

“You actually go to polo games. I was joking William,” she could see how wounded he looked. Surely, he did not care what she thought. “You look nice, I mean handsome, you know what I mean.” His look had changed from wounded to something else entirely, something that made her ability to speak leave her completely. “You should get out of a suit more often.”

“Well, if you are offering,” he laughed as he started to walk again leaving Buffy speechless behind him.

The town was picture postcard perfect. Buffy knew this for a fact as she had bought the whole series of postcards two shops previous. She was having a great time. She had seen more of this town in two hours than she had seen in the whole two weeks she had been here. However, more than the sight seeing, she was enjoying William’s commentary.

“Over here is the sweet shop where I got caught for stealing.”

“William, I could never see you doing such a thing. How old were you?”

“Four.” They both laughed as they continued to walk.

They passed an old school building. It must have been playtime as children were playing out the front.

“Here is where I went to prep school before Eaton. Ella will go there too.”

William’s words hit her and she froze to the spot. The children in the yard were five, six years old. Ella was not even one. Buffy had been so busy just getting through day to day she had not had time to look one week into the future let alone a year and certainly not five.

“Ella’s going to school,” she repeated as her brain went into overload.

This was her life now, here in this village with Ella and William, not for the next week or year but for the rest of her life. Her life, the one she had chosen or at least was in process of choosing had been snatched from her. In its place was this a quaint English town, a stuck up Englishman who she could not decide between arguing with and sleeping with and a baby she could hardly look after for two hours let alone raise into a young woman.

Her head was swimming with all the possibilities that had been taken from her and the reality that had replaced it.

“Buffy, love, are you ok? You look pale.” She barley registered his voice.
She turned to him his blue eyes the last thing she saw before she passed out.

Chapter 11

When Buffy came to, she was laying with her head in William’s lap on one of the schoolyard benches. William was worriedly stroking her brow, practically begging her to wake up.

“William, I’m ok,”

He suddenly realised she was awake stopped stroking her brow. “I have called the car and the doctor, they should be here any minute,” she could still see the concern all over his face.

“Which one?” Buffy asked as she tired to sit up, acutely aware of the intimacy of there situation.

“Which one what?” he said while helping her to sit up

“The Car or the doctor? Which one will be here in a minute,” she tired to straighten herself up.

“Car, I can see your witty sarcasm is still intact,” she glared back at him.

“I’m fine William, please don’t bother the doctor. I just had a dizzy spell that’s all. I have been couped up so long my body went into shock with all the fresh air,” she went to stand but her legs gave away. William caught her, Buffy felt her pulse quicken at his touch.

“Why must you be so stubborn,” his voice had grown husky of its own volition, he brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

She looked between his eyes and his lips, both as inviting as the other. She could make things so simple if she took the invitation.

“I’m, it’s not, you see,” maybe the fainting spell was catching up with her.

“You need to sit down,” he took her hand and helped her back onto the bench.

“Yes sitting, sitting is good.” She hugged herself keeping the chill in the air from seeping into her skin.

“Here have this,” William took off his jumper and wrapped it around her shoulders.

“Thanks.”

“So are you going to tell me what happened back there?”

She turned to him and for a fleeting moment she considered lying again, but it served no purpose. As muddled as their current situation was lying to William was not going to help.

“I was overwhelmed. This thing with Ella, I have just been getting through it minute to minute some days and on better ones, hour to hour. It hit me we are raising a child. Not for the next few hours or weeks William, but or the next few years. Hell, for the rest of our lives. So yeah, I am a little overwhelmed here.”

“I know,” William ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

“Do you? Do you really? I had a life back in America, sure not much of one but I was working at it. Making choices and now my choices have been made without any consultation. Angel he should have known better. He was there when I killed my chia pet through negligence. Why did he choose me to raise Ella? Why? Why isn’t he here William? He wanted this life, not me. Why?” her sobs came from nowhere and shook her whole body.

William took her into his arms and held on tight. He tried to calm her and she rocked back and forth, her anger and sorrow flowing freely.

“Buffy, pet, look at me, please,” he inquired softly when her sobs had died down some.

She looked up at him with watery eyes, “What?”

“I know that I haven’t been the greatest help to you. I know that it’s got to be hard for you, it’s hard for me too.”

“But you at least live here! I don’t. This is the first time I’ve even seen this area and this is now supposed to be my home.” That seemed to cause another onslaught of tears.

Taking a handkerchief out of his pocket, he handed it to Buffy to dry her eyes and blow her nose. She took it and a small giggle erupted. Then another small giggle, and soon a big belly laugh.

“What?” he asked, staring at her as if she had sprouted seven heads. “What is it?”

“You carry handkerchiefs. I never thought people actually did that,” Buffy said through her laughter.

He had to smile, despite the fact that she was blatantly making fun of him. Her laughter was infectious.

It was then that the car pulled up. “Master William?” the driver said, concerned, as he climbed out the car. “Do you need some help with Mistress Summers?”

“Buffy, please don’t call me that… that name. It sounds much too formal for me! Or it just makes me sound like some kind of… mistress.”

William chuckled at her, “I’m sorry Robert. I should have rang you. Buffy is all right now and we’re going to spend a little more time out and about.”

Robert nodded, “Yes sir.”

“Would you mind calling the doctor as well, please? Tell him everything is in order.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you.”

Robert climbed back in the car and he went on his merry way. Buffy looked up at him inquisitively.

“What?” William asked.

“Have you ever had a day without someone at your beck and call?”

William frowned thoughtfully. “I’m not sure… perhaps.”

“Would you know what to do with yourself without them?”

William smiled, “I’m not completely inept, Buffy. I could figure it out.”

“Then why do you need them?”

He took a deep breath. “Tradition. We had, well, servants for years. I had a nanny. Dru had a nanny. We always just had help. At this point, it is more of a tradition to carry on than a significant need. Moreover, I have to admit, it does help. That house is huge—“

“Oh, you mean the mansion we live in? Yeah, I’m aware.”

William chuckled, “Can you imagine trying to dust that entire place?”

“I see your point. I guess I’m just not used to it. When we were growing up and I got bossy and told Angel to get me something, he would always tell me that I had two arms and two legs and could do it myself.”

“So came the feminist in you,” William noted fondly.

Buffy smiled, “One thing I always had was a sense of self. I’ve always been quite independent…” She trailed off, gazing around her.

“And you don’t feel that way now,” William pointed out softly.

“No, I don’t,” she told him honestly.

“And I haven’t been around to help make the transition easier.”

“You are the only one I really know here. Well, Willow and I are fast becoming friends.”

“I know,” he replied without thinking.

“How do you know that?” she asked suspiciously.

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter, “Just that seeing how you two are. I can see that you get along well.”

“Oh.”

“I want to help make this easier for you. What can I do?”

“I just… I want to have a life here, William. A life outside of you and Ella. I want to fit in somehow or at least feel like I could fit in here.”

William smiled broadly and shook his head.

“What?” she asked indignantly.

“Oh, Buffy, I think when it comes to you others have to fit in with you, not you fit in with them.”

“Did you just pay me a compliment?”

He nodded, his eyes twinkling. “I did at that.”

“Thank you,” she said, almost shyly.

“Feel like walking some more?”

“I think so.”

“Feeling all right? You sure?”

Nodding, Buffy stood. “I’m sure. Let’s go.”

“Come on, I want to show you the local yoga centre. Maybe that would be something that’d help.”

“Maybe it would.”

~~

It was not so much as a yoga centre but more like an abandoned Boy Scout Hall. However, the moment Buffy stepped inside she felt instantly at home. Perhaps it was the smell of sandalwood coming from various incense stick burning around the room or the familiar sight of yoga mats stacked in the corner.

“This is great,” she told William as she walked around taking it all in. It was the happiest he had seen her since she had gotten here. He felt a sense of accomplishment that he had finally been able to do something to help as opposed to his usual state of hindrance.

That feeling was short lived, as what he assumed was the class instructor came and introduced himself to Buffy.

“Welcome to the Birkam Yoga Centre. I’m Riley,” William looked him up and down as he outstretched his hand and watched as Buffy took it willingly.

He was everything that he was not. First, he was not wearing a suit. In fact, he looked as though he had just rolled out of bed wearing sweats and a singlet. His hair had not been washed in it looked like years. Surely this unkempt Neanderthal did not hold any interest for…..

“Buffy Summers, how long have you been practising?” did he just see an eyelash flutter. She was not falling for this pseudo hippy wannabe.

“I spent the last year here at the centre, but before that I spent three years in India studying with a yogi over there.” William snorted. Was this guy serious?

“Learn how to steal picnic baskets too?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” Riley asked as he finally noticed William in the room.

“Yogi Bear, did he teach you to steal picnic baskets?” the two of them looked at him as though he was the strange one. “Did you ever see cartoons as a kid?”

“William, a yogi is the highest form of yoga teacher there is, not a cartoon bear.” He could see the contempt rolling off her in waves.

“I know it is Buffy, they do not hand out degrees at Oxford for just turning up.”

“I think I will leave you and your boyfriend to it,” Riley turned to leave.

“Oh, no, he’s not my boyfriend he’s my brother in law.” Buffy moved away from him, and went to talk to Riley.

As William watched the two of them talk passionately about yoga classes, he saw a change in her manner. The Buffy that he had met at the wedding all those lifetimes ago was returning. The passion was returning to her eyes. He should have felt happy, even relived at the sight. Nevertheless, as he looked at the reason for her passion, a pang of disappointment hit him.

Usually, heading to London for the week did not faze William much. However, the following day, Sunday evening, he found he was having a hard time. He felt there was something missing. He also felt that he wanted to stick around to keep an eye on Buffy and that prat Riley.

All he had heard since they had left the centre was about how educated Riley was, how lucky he was to have been taught by a gifted yogi, Riley this and Riley that. Then the bloke had gone and given her his number and pushed her to come by and take a class with him.

She was so excited and animated that William felt like a git for wanting to take that away from her. Just because he thought Riley was probably dumber than a box of rocks and had probably managed to get his head stuck up his ass during one of his classes, and had probably never gotten it out, was no reason to rain on Buffy’s happy parade of ‘fitting in’.

Her enthusiasm had even encouraged him to accompany her to a class when he came back. Maybe even a few classes. It was all for the desire to learn yoga, really, and nothing to do with the fact that he suspected Riley had the hots for his girl.

Whoa. His girl? He shook his head as he stuffed another undershirt in his suitcase. That was ridiculous. Buffy was his sister-in-law and hopefully a friend, but she was not his girl.

Perhaps getting away for the week would actually be best.

With that thought in mind, William made his way down the stairs. He would say goodbye to Ella and Buffy and be on his way. The car was waiting for him, his things already in the car, and everything was waiting and ready for him to go.

He was about to ask one of the maids to fetch Buffy when Buffy came down the stairs quickly, Ella in her arms. His breath caught as he watched them. Home he thought, family. Watching his girls – oh sod it – come down the stairs to see him off made something shift in his chest that he had never felt before, and therefore could not place. All he knew was that he felt peace wash over him; felt warmth spread through him and knew he wanted this always. He wanted to see them first thing when he arrived back home, just like this, rushing to catch him so they would not miss his arrival first thing.

He smiled at Buffy, wanting more than ever to take her in his arms. His arms literally ached with the desire and he fought himself hard to deny that urge. “Buffy,” he breathed, his voice clogging with emotion.

She smiled brightly up at him, “Ella and I thought maybe you’d like for us to see you off.”

“I was going to call for you.”

She laughed, “Of course you were.”

He grinned sheepishly. “Thank you for coming down.”

“Well, of course we were going to come down and see you off. Huh, Ella?”

Ella looked up at her uncle and gurgled at him. William smiled, thinking he could not wait to hear Ella’s little voice say ‘Bye Uncle William’.

Leaning in, William pecked Ella’s cheek. “Goodbye sweet girl.”

“Oh come on, give her a real hug,” Buffy said and held Ella out.

Taking the little girl in his arms, Ella cuddled right into him, looking up at him with trusting, big blue eyes. William’s heart swelled and he fought the urge to cry. This was what Angel and Dru had the pleasure of. Unconditional love, trust and acceptance and this, this is what he had been missing all this time. He had gone so long without it, he never thought he needed it, always thought it was something that happened to other people and he convinced himself he did not need it. Now that sense of belonging was staring him in the face and he was loathing to leave it. Yet at the same time, he was afraid to stay, afraid of what would happen if he gave himself over to the sensations swirling inside him like a hurricane.

Giving her a kiss, William whispered good-bye once more and handed Ella over to Buffy.

“Goodbye William. Thank you for yesterday,” Buffy said and wrapped her free arm around him. “We’ll see you when you come back. Have a good week.”

William gulped and nodded, feeling the sudden need to flee before his emotions over came him.

“Say bye-bye Uncle William,” Buffy coaxed Ella and held up her little hand, making Ella wave.

Not being able to speak, William rushed out of the house after a quick wave and a shaky smile. Rushing to the car, he climbed in and the car lurched forward. Buffy had come outside with Ella, still holding up their niece’s tiny arm, making the little girl wave.

It washed over him in a rush, the sensation he had felt when he had been packing. He knew what it was that was missing, knew the reason why he had not wanted to go this time: He missed his girls and yes, they were his girls.

********

It was a dreary Tuesday afternoon. The sun was playing peek-a-boo with the clouds and the rain was being insistent on making itself known.

Buffy stared out Ella’s nursery window as the little one slept, and she thought, I miss William. The thought came so unbidden and without any lead up, that it caught her off guard and shook her a bit.

It was true though. She could not fight it. The sky had opened up within minutes of William disappearing out of sight on Sunday evening, and since then she had been struck with a gloominess that matched the weather.

Her cell phone vibrating in her hand jarred her from her thoughts. Rushing to the hall, she flipped it open to find a number she did not recognize right away. Her heart raced. Maybe it was William, having finally gotten a minute to check up on them.

“Hello?” she answered, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“Buffy?” Definitely not William.

“Yeah?”

“Hello, its Riley.”

“Oh! Hi Riley, how are you?”

“Well, thanks, and yourself?”

“Um, good, thanks. What’s up?”

“I was calling to find out if you were coming to class this evening.”

“I was planning on it, why?”

“Well, it seems the remodeling for the building is starting up today, so the class is being moved post haste.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I am calling my students to give directions. Got a pen and paper handy?”

“Oh well, I uh…” she still would not have a clue where to go, and thought she could just have a driver take her and then instantly rejected the idea. No, better yet, she, Willow and Ella were going to take a ride later so she could learn where to go. “Sure, hold on.”

She felt her spirits lift as Riley gave her the directions. Clicking the phone shut, she smiled. This was exactly what she needed—something to do. Feeling as though she were taking big first steps to settle in to her new country, Buffy sought Willow to ask her if she would mind going for a ride after Ella woke from her nap.

********

They were lost. Buffy had the driver drop Willow, Ella and herself in the middle of town so they could find Riley’s house on their own. As they rounded the town square for the fifth time, she was cursing the idea. She glanced at her watch she was five minutes late for the class. She was just about to admit defeat and call Riley to come and find them when her phone rang.

“Riley, hey I was just going to call you. I am lost, where do you live again?”

“It’s William,” Buffy felt the butterflies in her stomach at the sound of his voice.

“Hi William, sorry I thought you were Riley,”

“Clearly. Is Ella with you?” Buffy’s butterflies were chased away by the tone of William's voice. He did not sound happy.

“Yes, I thought a trip into town would be nice for all of us,” Why did she suddenly feel as though she was in front of the principal facing detention.

“I thought you said you were going to Riley’s house?”

“Well, I was but we are lost and…”

“Well, which is it Buffy? Were you going into town or going on a date?”

“Don’t cross examine me William,” Buffy was getting angry now. She had been looking forward to hearing from him since he had left. However, this was not the kind of conversation she had planned.

“I am not cross examining you Buffy; I just don’t appreciate you taking my niece as a chaperone for your dates.” His anger was palpable.

“We are going to a Yoga Class if you must know not that it is any of your business.”

“If it involves Ella than it is my business.”

“Well, if you are so concerned about her, then why haven’t you asked how she is?”

“Ok then, put Willow on the phone please.”

“Don’t you want to ask me how Ella is doing?”

“I would rather speak to the person who cares for her,” Buffy tried to hold back the tears as she felt as though she had been slapped as she handed the phone to Willow.

“Master William?”

Buffy did not listen in as she took in William’s words. Why was he being so cruel? She had been looking forward to hearing from him all week and now she was wishing he had never called.

Willow handed back the phone to her.

“Hello?”

“He hung up,” Willow explained. “I have to take Ella back to the house. Master William insisted.” The look on Willow’s face told her that he had done more that insisted.

“What do you mean insisted? She is my niece too. He can’t just do that.” Buffy hit redial. The busy tone rung in her ears, she hit redial again. She would not let him get away with this.

Chapter 13

William threw the phone against in the wall and watched it smash into a thousand pieces. His intention in calling was to see how Buffy and Ella were keeping. He had been distracted in his wonderings, what had they been doing? Were they having fun? Were they missing him as much as he was missing them? He had finally called for his own piece of mind -- if he had kept his wonderings up, he would never get any work done.

All his good intentions flew out the window as soon as he had heard Buffy say that git’s Riley’s name. Something in him snapped. He could hear himself on the phone lashing out at Buffy and berating himself for it but what else could he do? Perhaps tell her how I feel would be a good start.

He did not mean to take it out on Buffy but he wanted her to hurt, to feel the pain that he was feeling. He knew it was childish and wrong but he did not care. Most of all he knew it was his fault. All he had done since she had arrived was ignore and push her away. Not because he hated being around her but because he liked it, he liked it a lot.

In the short time she had been here, she has given him glimpses into a life he never thought he could live; moreover deserve to live. He had closed himself off to an emotional life a long time ago and he had packaged it up in such a way he thought it was the best thing he could have done. In fact, he wondered why more people did not choose a life like his, saving themselves from the torment, stress, and pain that relationships held.

She had wandered into his life and in less than a month she had unravelled the package leaving him to pick up the pieces and try to fit them back in. Why did she do that? She had no right. He was happy with his lot; really happy in fact, he was as happy as he had ever been. What had she done to him to make that happiness seem so hollow?

His anger gained a new momentum. He was no longer just angry with himself for being angry, he was also angry at Buffy for showing him the other side of the coin.

Remorse would soon follow. He knew that, but for the time being, he was in the anger stage and that is where he wanted to stay.

*********

Buffy was seething, but it was the kind of seething that could give way to tears at just the right prompting. She could not remember ever being so angry in her life. And frustrated. She had actually missed that asshole. She had been so happy to hear his voice on the other end, and then he had treated her like crap and made a dig about her inability to take care of Ella. Hello—she was the one that was home with her, wasn’t she? Where was he? He was in fucking London! At least she had taken Ella out with her, got her out of the house and spent some time with her. Again, he was in London for a week.

“So, did class do anything at all to help?” Riley asked after class.

Folding up her mat, she smiled at Riley, though the smile was not heartfelt. “Sorry, I’m having a crappy day. Got a lot on my mind.”

“Anything you want to talk about? I’m told I’m a good listener.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head, “Really, it’s nothing. Just…family stuff. So, how long is the centre going to be out of commission for?”

“Who knows? They say a month, but one can never tell. Not an ideal place to have a class, here in this cramped room, that’s for sure. I’m trying to see if I can find another location that’s cheap and has plenty of room, I don’t want—“

“Have it my house,” Buffy blurted out.

Riley stared at her, “What?”

She was most likely going to catch extreme hell for this from William, but at that point in time, she did not care. In fact, she was looking forward to seeing his face when he arrived home and found she had turned the ballroom into a yoga centre.

“Have it at my house,” she said again. “I have this gigantic ballroom that never gets used since I don’t know very many people here, my brother-in-law has no friends, and therefore no life, and it’s not the 1800’s, no one has balls anymore. It’s a huge room for plenty of people to be able to spread out in. It’s perfect. And, you don’t have to pay any rent. On one condition.”

Riley was looking dazed, “And that is?”

“You let me co-teach the class. I need to make some money on my own and I’m barely skilled in anything else. I love yoga and I love teaching yoga. I know I don’t look like much—“

Riley held up his hand, cutting her off. “Buffy, stop.”

She clamped her mouth shut, and watched as Riley held out his hand. “It’s a deal,” he said.

Smiling, and really feeling the smile that time, she took his hand and shook it eagerly.

********

William was in a bad mood. He had had to rearrange his entire schedule to be able to make it home earlier than planned, which meant having to cram in meetings that were best spread out.

He gave every excuse for why he had to get home earlier than the weekend, but the real reason, the reason why he made himself mad to get home, was so he could keep a watchful eye on Buffy and Riley.

After some of his anger had abated, and only some, he had been filled with an even more intense loneliness than what he had been feeling before he rang Buffy.

Images of Riley and Buffy together, with little Ella between them floated unbidden to his mind and it made him sick. No, that would not happen. First, there would be no taking Ella from him, and second there would be no taking Buffy – Dammit!

He was going to ring her pretty little neck for making him feel this way.

Coming into the house and discarding his suitcase at the door, William opened his mouth to shout for Buffy. That fantasy of her and Ella coming to greet him when he arrived back home had apparently been just that – a fantasy and just as he had opened his mouth, to shout for her, he heard voices coming from the ballroom down the hall.

Her voice, followed by a man’s voice and then others joined in after. Curious.

Stalking quietly down the hall, he found the ballroom doors closed. Narrowing his eyes, he opened the doors in one great swoop.

He stopped and stared. People were everywhere and on yoga mats. In addition, Buffy was up at the front of the room, right next to Riley who was helping her into some position that looked much like a sexual position they had done . . .

“Buffy!” William roared, “What the hell is going on in here?”

Chapter 14

Buffy did not see William as he burst through the ballroom doors but she certainly heard him. A familiar shiver ran through her as she straightened up from her position. He looked hot, but that was usual. He also looked royally pissed. His eyes were still scanning the room; it looked at though he was ranking everything he saw in order of making him mad.

Buffy had feared this kind of reaction, Willow and several of the staff had warned her of ”Master William’s” reaction but she didn’t care. That was not exactly true, she did care, and she wanted to upset him as much as he had her on their last conversation. However, standing there watching his ire grow, she was regretting her decision not to warn him.

She had been going over her explanation in her mind so she could tell him with the least amount of friction. That was one of the reasons she had not scheduled a Friday evening class so she could break the news gently. Which posed the question…?

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she made her way towards the back of the room. As scared of William as she was, there was no way she was going to show it.

“Don’t answer my question with a question Elizabeth,” at this point she knew she was in major trouble she would have preferred Miss Summers than that. “So again let me ask what the hell is going on in here?”

Buffy grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the room and into the hallway. She could see the anger in his eyes, face and as much as it scared her, his blatant passionate display was doing something else to her as well.

“It’s a yoga class William.”

“Well I can see that, I didn’t think you had moved on to teaching the Karma Sutra.”

“Karma Sutra? What are you going on about William? I can understand how this is a surprise.”

“A surprise is finding an extra doughnut in the pack when you ask for six. Not walking into your home seeing a re-enactment from the musical Hair,” he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“William, I was going to tell you but you came home early and didn’t give me a chance. I don’t see how this is my fault.” Buffy folded her arms across her chest.

“You were going to tell me? How considerate of you. This is my house Buffy. You should have asked me.”

“You told me to treat this house as my own. So, when Riley got stuck for a place for classes, I thought this would be the perfect place.”

“Now we get to the real reason. Your boyfriend says jump and you say how high,” Buffy noticed the change in his voice and stance if she had known better she could have sworn he was …

“Are you jealous of Riley?” she asked.

“What? No this is not about me. This is about you and your blatant disregard for anyone’s feelings but your own.”

“What has this got to do with feelings? All I have done is hold a few yoga classes in the ballroom. Which I am sure it has not been used since the phrase ballroom was coined.”

“Because he asked you to.”

“What is your problem with Riley?”

“I don’t have a problem with Riley.”

“Then why are you acting like a jealous school boy.”

“Because he is taking what is mine.”

“The ballroom? William you have lost your mind,” she turned to go back into the room.

William grabbed her arm and kissed her with all the passion that she had stirred within him. When they broke for air, she looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“No Buffy, not the ballroom.”

It took her a minute for what he was saying to click into her mind. Was he saying –?

“Are you saying I’m yours?” she demanded, trying to get herself out of the haze that he had produced from his kiss.

He did not answer her, but the look on his face told her all she needed to know.

She raised a brow, “I’m yours? What am I cattle now? You want to brand me? How did I get the honor of being yours all of a sudden?”

“You’re—" he shook his head, frustrated, “You’re my family, Buffy. You and Ella.”

“Yes, William, I agree. We are family.”

“And that also means I don’t want you cavorting around setting a bad example for Ella with some prat who—“

“Whoa, whoa whoa!” Buffy interrupted. “First of all, Riley is not a prat—whatever the hell that is. Secondly, we’re teaching yoga, I’m not dating him – and even if I was, that is none of your business -- and thirdly, you want good examples set for your niece? Why don’t you try staying home through the week instead of being a weekend uncle?” With that, Buffy spun on heel and stalked off.

She was a mess. Half of her wanted to turn and run back to him to finish what he had started with that kiss, and the other half wanted to kick him in the shins. Keep one foot in front of the other she told herself. You’ll be fine. Ignore the incredibly hot man watching you walk away.

********

William sat in his study, sipping some Jack. He was not inebriated, close, but not yet. He definitely needed to unwind after his blowout with Buffy earlier that day.

He was really under it, wasn’t he? Shaking his head, he buried his face in his hands. What was happening to him? What had she done to him? She had done something to him; put him under some kind of spell. He had not been himself since she came into his life. He kept trying to be himself, but this new irrational side of him kept coming out. The irrational side that made him sleep with his sister-in-law and then leave her. That made him go medieval at the idea of said sister-in-law with some other man and made him kiss her and growl out mine, thinking she would take it all in stride.

The thing that killed him though, most of all – he did consider her his. She had gotten under his skin somehow and burrowed there, making this protective, primal male part of him come out. That primal male wanted to rip Riley to bits for even daring look in Buffy’s way.

He was going completely mad.

Imbibing the last of his Jack, he staggered to his feet and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. Taking off his tie, he discarded it across the room and unbuttoned his dress shirt. Cracking his neck, he started for the door. He would go up and talk with her before passing out. He needed sleep. He was positively wiped.

Rapping softly on her door, he called her name softly. No answer. He had just heard her padding around not long ago up here…was she deliberately ignoring him? That would not do. Pushing on the door, it gave way and opened, revealing Buffy and Ella in bed together. The only light in the room was the soft light of the moon pouring into the room and across her and his niece.

He stopped and stared at them thinking, 'This is what I want'. Unable to stop himself, he made his way over to the gigantic bed and crawled in on the other side of Ella. He stared at his niece, sleeping peacefully next to her aunt, and then his eyes travelled to the aunt. Watching her sleep, the steady rise of her chest, he had flashes of their night together, of her sleeping so peacefully in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

As if she heard him, she let out a little moan.

Smiling softly, William closed his eyes and promptly fell asleep.

Chapter 15

Buffy awoke slowly, still feeling drowsy. She yawned and stretched carefully, mindful that Ella was in bed with her still. She could hear her little niece breathing softly and then – snoring?

Eyes flying open, Buffy sat up and looked over to find William nestled in bed with them, a small content smile on his handsome face. He was also fully dressed except for his feet.

Not wanting to wake Ella, Buffy turned to crawl out of bed when his voice stopped her.

“Where you going?” he asked groggily.

She stared at him, still not able to process the fact that he was in bed with them. “What are you doing?”

He blinked, “What do you mean?”

She gestured to the bed, “Do you see where you—were you drinking? Are you still drunk?”

He looked down sheepishly, “I had been, but I –“

“Jesus, William. What is going on with you?”

“Can we—while she’s?” William said, gesturing to Ella.

Sighing and nodding, Buffy climbed out of bed, placed her pillow about two inches from Ella, and made her way out into the hall. William followed suit, doing the same to his pillow, and kept the door open so they could keep an eye on Ella in case she rolled or woke up.

“Buffy, I’m sorry.”

Buffy looked up at him, noting the sadness and the honesty in his eyes. She folded her arms across her chest. “What is it you’re exactly sorry for?”

“For the way I reacted yesterday when I came home and...”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Buffy said, motioning for him to continue, no need to elaborate on that embarrassing moment.

“I shouldn’t have erupted that way. However—“

“Here it comes,” Buffy muttered.

“You should have told me, ran it by me at least—“

“Okay, yes, you’re right. I should have. However, I was pissed at you and wanted to piss you off in turn.”

“Pissed at me?”

“Yes, you know, mad.”

He rolled his eyes, “I do know the American slang for mad, Buffy.”

“Well, I was pissed at you for the way you treated me when you finally called me last week. I was all happy to hear from you and then you basically shit on me and made me feel like I couldn’t take care of my niece—“

“You were happy to hear from me?” William said, hopefully.

She looked up at him, startled. “Yeah, I was. Until you laid into me and said all that crap about having to talk to Willow because she is the one that knows how to take care of Ella—“

“Buffy, I was out of line. I’m very sorry for that.”

“So that’s why I did what I did. Childish of me, I know, but you hurt my feelings and I wanted to get you back.”

“You succeeded. In case you hadn’t noticed,” he said and grinned teasingly.

She smiled warily, “Yeah, I noticed all right.”

She bit her lip. To bring up the kiss or not to bring up the kiss? Just when she opened her mouth to do so, thinking what the hell?, Ella started to cry. Guess that will have to wait, she thought. She went to tend to her niece but William stopped her.

“I’ll do it; you go and have a shower, relax a bit you have been looking after her all week. It’s my turn now.” William went and picked up Ella rocking her and trying to soothe her with his voice.

Buffy tried hard to hide her shock. “Again I ask are you still drunk?”

“No,” William laughed, “Your aunty Buffy is funny isn’t she.” He walked towards her. “I want to take care of my niece. Why do you think I rushed back to be with you?”

“Ella, you mean Ella. You rushed back to spend time with Ella,” William looked confused.

“That’s what I said.”

“No, you said you came back to spend time with you. I mean me but you were mistaken, you meant Ella,” she looked away nervously. As much as she wanted what he had said to be true, she was scared of the repercussions if they were. “Didn’t you?” It was not so much of a question but more of a statement.

“Sure, if that helps you sleep at night.” Buffy just stood there letting his words sink in. It took her a few seconds to realize that both William and Ella had left.

*************************************

It was official William Giles had lost his mind.

He had no other explanation for his current position, still in his suit with a kiss the cook apron on. Trying to cook breakfast and asking advice from a 6-month-old child.

“So Ella, does aunty Buffy like her eggs poached or scrambled?” Ella giggled in response

“I will take that as scrambled,” he went to the refrigerator to find the eggs and milk.

He wanted to contribute making a difference in Ella and Buffy’s life, he knew it was more than just cooking breakfast but he needed to start somewhere. He figured the more he was a part of their lives the less insecure he would feel about them leaving.

It was his greatest fear of people leaving and being alone. It seemed as though his life had been a series of goodbyes, his father, mother and lastly Dru. It was one of the reasons he had chosen to be alone. There was no one to leave him if he did not ask them to stay. That is why he had gone all caveman when Riley “I can bend six ways to Sunday” arrived on the scene. He could see it all slip through his fingers. The one thing he wanted to hold onto for dear life was being taken from him and he felt powerless to stop it.

He smelt Buffy enter the kitchen before he saw her. He turned around from the grill and his breath was taken away.

She was beautiful. He knew that he had known that from the moment he met her all those years previous but it was more than that. Freshly showered and playing with Ella in the highchair it gave him a glimpse of a life he never thought he wanted or deserved. It was now a life he wanted and would fight tooth and nail to have.

“William the eggs are burning,” he was broken from his trance as she took the pan from his hands and rushed it to the sink.

“Come to London with me,” the words fell from his mouth before he had time to think it through.

Buffy dropped the frying pan in the sink and turned towards him.

“Sorry, did you just ask me to come to London with you?”

“Yes, you and Ella this week come to London. Stay at my place. It's not as big as here but I think you would like it.”

“The Taj Mahal isn’t as big as here, so that’s not saying much. You’re serious aren’t you?”

“Always, but about this, yes. I want to spend the week with you and Ella.”

“Ok.”

“Ok? That’s it? You’re not going to fight me on it?” William asked as he watched her clean up his mess. He was too dumbfounded to move.

She looked up at him, “Believe it or not, I don’t have to fight you on everything.”

He had to laugh, “I find that hard to believe.”

“Ha-ha. Well, William, it just so happens that I am being serious about going with you. I will. But—“

“Here we go.”

“I want you to do something for me.”

He raised a brow and smirked, “I knew it.”

She stared at him, and he was surprised to find her blushing. Profusely. Well, isn't that interesting?

“Knew what?” she said, stumbling on her words.

He could not resist. “You’re mad for me aren’t you?” he said, a big grin on his face.

She started to laugh.

“Not exactly what I wanted to hear,” he muttered.

“Oh stop it. I know you’re teasing.” The way she said it was halfway in between a question and a statement. He opted to take it as a statement.

“What is it you want me to do?” he asked and went to the fridge to take out more eggs.

“I want you to take class with me today.”

He turned to her, eggs in hand. “Surely, you’re joking.”

“I’m serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”

He laughed, “Airplane?.”

She smiled, “Yes. Please William?”

“Why do you want me to do that? I did that once, remember?”

“Because you need to loosen up and relax. That jogging you do is obviously doing nothing for you. You’re wound tighter than a drum.”

“Gee, and here I thought we were getting along.”

“We are. Will you? It’s not like I ask a lot from you, you know.”

He sighed and handed her the eggs. “Fine, I’ll take a class. What time do I need to be ready?”

“Five. You have plenty of time to work.”

“You’re bloody hysterical, you know that?”

She smiled brightly, “I know. Why don’t you put some toast on? Your niece is gonna starve at this rate.”

“Bossy chit,” he muttered.

“I heard that!”

********

Buffy had to keep reminding herself that laughing at William would not help him; it would only hinder him. Watching him try to twist his body into some of the maneuvers was funny as hell to watch though. It was not so much the move itself that was funny, but the look on his face, the intense concentration, the way his brow furrowed and how he focused so hard. It was . . . cute.

The students, most of them anyway, knew the moves and fluidly eased into them. William on the other hand, his movements were jerky and not at all fluid or graceful.

Taking pity on him, Buffy picked up her mat, and made her way to the back where William was trying to do a series of moves that Riley was leading the class into. Coming up to him and plopping her mat down next to him, he looked at her gratefully. She smiled and came up behind him.

She talked to him quietly, easing him into move after move. Soon, he was stretching right along side her, and she would touch him, guide him, and he would take what she said and imbibe it, doing exactly as she said and she would push him just a bit more until he was working to his full capacity.

Moreover, she liked touching him. The more she touched him, the more she laid her hands on his body, the more she wanted. She was not relaxing. She was getting hot.

Excited.

When class was coming to a close, Riley had them sit quietly in prayer pose. Buffy and William faced each other, staring into each other’s eyes. The room had fallen away completely.

“Buffy,” he murmured.

She nodded, somehow knowing instinctively what he wanted. He wanted to kiss her again, and God, she wanted him too. On the other hand, maybe it was just her that wanted it so bad that she made it his desire too.

“So, how’d you do William?”

Their heads jerked up at the same time to find Riley grinning down at William.

The spell had been broken. Climbing to her feet, Buffy sighed heavily and folded up her mat.

“I uh, I might take another class,” William said, watching her intently.

She smiled at him, “I doubt that.”

William looked at her indignantly, “You just never know, Buffy.”

“Buffy, I had a few ideas for next class I wanted to go over with you—“

“Oh crap!” Buffy exclaimed.

“What?” William and Riley asked at the same time.

“I’m not going to be here next week. I’m going to London with Ella and William.”

Riley frowned, clearly disappointed. “Oh, all right.”

“I’m really sorry, Riley. I should have told you so we could have told the class. It was a sudden thing this morning.”

“It’s all right—“

“I’ll help you call them and tell them. It’ll just be next week and then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming.”

Riley grinned, “You’re a gem.”

William made a noise that sounded uncannily like a growl and placed an arm about Buffy’s shoulders. “Isn’t she though? Don’t you have things to do now, Riley? People to call. Chop, chop, let’s go.”

Riley did not seem to know quite what to make of that and he scampered off quickly.

Buffy started to laugh, placing a hand on William’s chest. “Chop, chop?”

He smiled down at her and to her great surprise, leaned down and pecked her nose. “I’m full of surprises. One of them being I might just take another class. Especially if I have such a gorgeous teacher right there to help me through it.” With that, he sauntered off, leaving Buffy nearly panting with her want of him.

********

“So are you excited?”

After her cold shower, Buffy had gone to tell Willow about their upcoming trip to London. Willow could not contain her excitement and had offered to help Buffy pack.

“I don’t know,” Buffy shrugged as she pulled her suitcase from the wardrobe and sat it on the bed. “Part of me is excited. I have wanted to see London ever since Angel moved here. We kept making plans but we never got to them,” tears welled in her eyes; she tried to blink them away.

“You miss him,” it was not so much of a statement from Willow more like a point of fact.

“Not all the time, with everything going on sometimes I don’t even think about him being gone, in some ways that worse than mourning. When I forget, I feel guilty,” she stopped not wanting to go down that path. “So what do you think the red or the black,” she held two sweaters against her.

“Um, how about both. Did William say what we were going to do in London?” Willow moved over to the window where she could see William taking his usual run around the grounds.

“Not really, he just asked us to go, didn’t give a reason, he’s not really big with the casual conversation you know.” Buffy pulled out a pair of black boots and packed them into the bag.

“Really he always seems chatty to me, well as chatty as an Englishman can get.” Both Willow and Buffy laughed at the thought.

“It seems ironic to me that the country that invented the English language should be so inept at using it.” Buffy pulled out her black evening dress. She had been in such a panic when she had packed for the funeral she had not realized what had gone into the bag.

“Oh that’s pretty,” Willow exclaimed as Buffy put it back into the wardrobe.

“I packed it by mistake in the rush of getting over here.” Willow went over and took it back out.

“Why aren’t you taking it?” Buffy looked at her strangely.

“Where am I going to wear something like that in London?” she took it from her hands and put it back into the wardrobe.

“Master William could take you out for dinner one night,” Willow said carefully not wanting to over step her mark.

“I don’t think so Willow. The only reason he asked for Ella and I to come up for the week was to alleviate his guilt in leaving Ella each week. There will be no dinners out. I wouldn’t be surprised if we hardly see him at all.”

Willow looked over at Buffy busily packing the suitcase, from the tone of her voice, she knew that topic of conversation was over. As Buffy walked into her ensuite to pack her toiletries, she could not help herself as she took the dress and snuck it into the case without Buffy knowing.

Entering William’s apartment felt like entering a different world. Again. In addition, just as she was acclimating herself at “The Estate”, that was what she had started calling it, with a kind of “Dun dun dun” attitude towards it. Probably not conducive to her thinking of it as home, but it made her chuckle.

Glancing around William’s penthouse, it was made apparent that this enormous place was not childproof or child friendly. Sharing a look with Willow, Buffy sighed and immediately began formulating ways to make it so Ella could feel free to explore her environment without having Willow or Buffy up her ass every five seconds because she was touching something William called “art”, when really it looked like a glass ashtray or something.

Upon further exploration, the place fit William’s more cold side. The basic color was gray, with seemingly just brighter shades to it.

”What do you think?” he asked, tossing his keys on the glass dining room table. Oh, but she could see Ella’s fingerprints all over that. She could also see her whacking her head on the sharp edges at the corners of the table.

“It’s nice,” Buffy said, trying to sound chipper.

William saw right through it, as she should have figured out he would. “What is it?”

“Well, it’s not exactly...child proof. And it’s very gray and—“

William held up a hand. “I’ve heard enough. Christ Summers, can nothing please you?”

She glared at him, “Plenty pleases me.”

“Yeah, like Riley Finn and twisting your body into a pretzel—“

“And Ella and sometimes even you when you’re not being a jackass!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am never a jackass,” William said haughtily.

Buffy burst out laughing, and slowly, William joined her. He looked around. “I never really thought about it much, but I guess you’re right.”

“Well, you’ve never had children to bring here before, William. Not to mention, you probably only use this place to sleep mainly, right?”

“Yes.”

She shook her head, “Don’t you ever have overnight guests, William?” she teased.

He looked at her expressionless, “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“Well, you’re not a gentleman, so...”

“Oi!”

Buffy giggled. “I’m teasing.”

“Um, Buffy? Master William? Ella is about ready to drop here...” Willow piped up. Looking over, Ella’s eyes were drooping heavily.

“Oh, right. Let me set up the portable crib in the guest room. This way,” William said and led them down the hall to a small little room that appeared to have a bed, but not much else. Working like a team, Willow placed Ella on the bed to change her while Buffy and William set up the crib and then dug in her bags to get her blankets and toys.

Lifting Ella, Willow started for the crib and William stopped her. “We’ve got from here Willow, thank you. Why don’t you take your things up to your room – up the stairs, take a right, and the second door is your room. If you need anything, do not hesitate, all right?”

“Thank you Master William,” Willow said formally, handing Ella over.

“Just call me William, Willow.”

Willow smiled, tossed Buffy a knowing look and exited. Buffy looked up at him. “That was very nice of you.”

He blinked. “What was?”

“Telling Willow to call you William.”

He rolled his eyes. “I suppose you’ll think of this as part of your doing?”

She grinned, “Maybe.”

Placing Ella in bed, they watched over the crib as their niece curled to her side immediately, yawned and fell promptly asleep.

“She’s adorable isn’t she?” Buffy murmured.

“She is. You know, I rather think she’s got a bit of your features.”

“Really?”

William nodded, “Really.”

Looking up and meeting his eyes, Buffy was struck with the domesticity of it all. Of them putting Ella to bed together, “This is nice,” she whispered.

“It is,” William agreed huskily.

Buffy looked around taking in the scene. From the outside looking in, they seemed like the perfect family living the dream. However, the dream she was living was not hers. It was Dru and Angel’s; this was what they had wanted. She felt a pang of guilt mixed with sadness as she enjoyed the spoils of someone else’s dream.

“Buffy love, are you ok?” she looked up at William’s worried face. She wiped her tears as she spoke.

“Yeah, I just, Dru and Angel would have loved to do this,” she looked in her pocket for a tissue. William handed her a handkerchief. “I feel like an imposter, living and enjoying someone else’s happiness.”

She wiped her tears and handed the handkerchief back.

“You keep it love, I have plenty,” he bent to pick up her bags.

“So, which one is my room going to be?” she asked as they headed out of the room.

“Upstairs next to Willow’s. It has a great view of the city and its own bathroom.” He could tell by the look on her face she was not happy. “It’s the best room in the house.”

“So far away from Ella? I don’t know if that’s wise. I won’t be able to hear her when she cries.”

“Well, if you must know, I thought you could use a break. My room is next door so I can get up to her in the middle of the night.” He started out the room.

“William, you have to work. I don’t think getting up at 3 in the morning to soothe a screaming baby will help that.” Buffy walked back into the room and sat on the bed. William sighed as he sat her bags down and went back into the room.

“You wanted me to participate right? Well, this is me participating. Most fathers hold down fulltime jobs yet still manage to help their wives raise their children no matter how many times they have to get up in the middle of the night.”

“I agree but…” William cut her off.

“Buffy, let me do this. I want to,” she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was serious.

“Ok, but on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“I stay in this room with her. We can do this together.”

“Fine, it’s a deal.”

“I hope you realize what you are getting into William. You will have to be coming into our room at all hours of the night.”

“Well, every situation has its upside.”

*********

Buffy was standing alone on a street she did not recognize; in a city she did not know. She was in her pajamas and she was cold, so cold she was shivering uncontrollably.

Instinctively she knew the car coming down the street was Angel’s. She waved frantically to him, thinking if she could get him out of the car, everything would be all right.

He saw her, and a big smile broke out on his handsome face. He waved back to her as he continued down the street, oblivious to how her waving was becoming frantic, oblivious to how she screamed his name in terror as an oncoming car hit him.

She screamed and cried, but it was no use. He was gone. She had been unable to save him. Moreover, in the middle of the road, was Ella, screaming right along with Buffy.

“Buffy.”

William’s voice was speaking to her, but looking around her, she could not see him at all.

“Buffy!”

Buffy lurched up in bed, nearly smacking her head into William’s head. He steadied her with his big warm hands. “Buffy, you all right?” he asked softly while he gently wiping away the wetness on her cheeks.

Reaching up, her fingers grazed his as she realized she had been crying in her sleep. It was just a dream.

Just a horrific dream—and yet, it was not just a dream. It had happened. More tears fell and it took a minute in her groggy state to realize that Ella really was screaming. Without thinking, and just reacting, Buffy made to get out of bed.

“I’ve got her, Buffy. Just lay down. You were thrashing around and I wanted to make sure you were all right and not having some kind of seizure.”

She nodded dumbly and lay back down, staring up at the ceiling, replaying her dream in her mind, causing fat tears to silently cascade down her cheeks.

Ella quieted as soon as William picked her up, and she watched him coo to her for a minute and hold her to his strong, naked chest. He came over and sat down on the edge of her bed. “How are you?”

She shrugged, afraid to speak.

“I’ll just take Ella into—“

She grabbed his arm. “No. William, will you...” she took a shuddering breath. “Will you stay with me? The bed is big enough for all three of us.”

He blinked. “You want me to sleep in bed with you?”

She nodded, her bottom lip quivering, “Please?”

“Of course, Buffy. Just let me change Ella, okay?”

She nodded and watched him change their niece quickly before settling her into the bed beside Buffy. He flicked off the light and then climbed in on the other side of Ella. Buffy rolled to her side, listening to Ella’s breath even out once more, and staring at William, only slightly able to make him out in the dark.

Reaching out, William grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m here whenever you need me, Buffy.”

Her eyes shut, exhaustion taking over. “Thank you,” she whispered just before she fell back to sleep.

Buffy felt out of place, as she stood in the foyer of Giles and Associates. First, she was not grey or wearing grey as it seemed everyone and everything in the office was. Her bright blue coat and equally colourful red skirt stood out against the drab backdrop.

“Can I help you miss?” asked the receptionist in a tone that indicated that she wanted to do anything but help her.

“Yes, I am here to see William Giles,” she tried to sound as confident and business like as possible.

“Right, is he expecting you?” the woman was not convinced.

“No, he is not,” this third degree was starting to piss her off.

“Business or pleasure?” This woman was not giving up without a fight.

“Can you tell him that Buffy Summers is here to see him?”

Reluctantly the women picked up the phone and called through to William’s office.

“Mr. Giles, a Buffy Summers is here to see you.” She spoke her name as if she were making it up.

Buffy knew the idea to visit William at work was a bad one. However, he had left before both Ella and she had woken. On the kitchen bench, he had left his card and a note saying to call him if she needed anything.

Coming in was the same as calling wasn’t it? Willow had made her do it. They were taking Ella for a walk and happened to be near the office. She was going to bring Ella in to see where Uncle William worked. However, she had fallen asleep just before they had reached the office. In addition, as much as Buffy did not know about children she knew that under no circumstances did you wake a sleeping baby.

She was more than happy to keep walking and see him tonight but Willow had insisted.

“He won’t be a moment, Miss Summers please take a seat,” the receptionist stood from her seat and walked away.

Buffy was not snooping; she just wanted to have a look around the office. Her feet were moving of their own volition, she was going to turn back to the reception area when a name on the door caught her attention.

“Liam Summers”

Angel’s office, before she realised she had opened the door and walked through. It had obviously not been touched since his death. She smiled as she saw his gym bag by the door, ready for the next lunchtime workout. She made her way over to the desk. Papers cluttered it but lined along the desk were photo frames containing pictures of his wedding day, Dru and Ella playing at the estate. A tear fell down her face as she sat down at the desk.

It was as though Angel had gone to lunch and was going to walk through the door at any minute and yell at her for sitting in his seat and going through his desk. Nevertheless, he was not coming back and there would be no yelling.

“What in the bloody hell is going on in here?”

Well maybe there would be yelling.

“I thought I told you people to stay out of this office. No one is to come in here…”

Buffy turned the chair around to face him.

“Not even family?” she asked.

She saw his rage vanish as he took her in.

“Buffy, love, what are you doing in here? I thought you were at reception.” He moved towards her and sat on the end of the desk.

She got the same feeling she had when she was fifteen and sent to the principal’s office for smoking in the toilets.

“Well, I was going to wait for you there and then I saw the name on office door and I wanted to see where he worked,” the tears escaped down her face.

“Your upset, lets get out of here we can go into my office to talk,” he gestured toward the door.

“No, please can we stay here for a little bit. It’s one of the last pieces I have of him.” She picked up the wedding photo. It was the same one William had in his room at the estate. Angel and Dru in the middle with her and William either side.

“I know what you mean. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t moved his stuff out, like if I hold onto him then Dru is still here too.” He shook the negative thoughts from his mind.

“They’re gone Will, not coming back,” she could see that William was trying to hold back the tears.

“Maybe we could pack up the office together, one night after you have finished work.” He was not looking at her, trying hard to reign in his emotions.

“Will, it’s ok to let it go in front of me, especially in front of me,” he looked up and before she could say another word he grabbed her and hugged her as if he was afraid she to would leave.

They held onto each other tightly, Buffy letting her tears fall freely. She felt him shake in her arms, a sure indication that he too, was crying.

“Buffy, I –“ he broke off, pulling back and gazing at her with watery eyes. He shook his head. “I’m not good at this—“

She smiled gently, “You’re doing fine, William,” and she cupped the side of his face. “You were there for me last night; let me be here for you. It’s all right to mourn.”

He nodded. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”

“Oh, you’d probably work a whole lot more. I seem to be breaking you of that little by little.” She smiled, trying to get a grin out of him.

It worked. He grinned and shook his head. “Buffy, you...” he stared at her, and she knew before his head started to move what his intention was and she was not going to stop him. Nope, she was going to let it happen.

“What are you doing in here? You never— oh, sorry.”

Buffy jerked fast out of William’s arms and turned to find a dark-haired beauty with ruby red lips and a knowing smile staring at them with her arms crossed.

“Hello,” she greeted Buffy. “I’m Faith. Friend of William’s.”

Buffy extended her hand. “Buffy. Friend of William’s huh? He’s never mentioned you.” Were those claws extending as she spoke?

Faith smiled saucily. “Such a bad boy keeping me under wraps like that. Someone needs to be punished.”

William cleared his throat when Buffy looked up at him with raised brow. “Yes, well, behave Miss Evans. Were you looking for me?”

“I was. I wanted to know what time I should be ready for dinner tonight.”

Buffy was boring holes into William now, her expression changing from one of calm inquiry, to one of laser beams ready to bore a hole into his brain.

“Uh, seven should be fine. What time does the whole affair start?”

“Eight. Plenty of time. Nice to meet you, Buffy,” and with that the buxom brunette was gone, closing the door behind her.

“Dinner?” Buffy questioned.

“There’s a benefit the office is putting on tonight. I completely forgot about it until Faith reminded me this morning.”

“She’s your date?”

William studied her. “You jealous?”

Buffy guffawed at the likelihood of that. “I’m just curious as to why I never heard of her. Is she your, I don’t know, weekday girlfriend when you’re here?”

“Nothing of the sort, Buffy. Faith is an associate of mine, she handles real estate here.”

“An associate who goes to benefits with you?”

“Well, yes. Neither of us dates much, nor at all, as you well know. So, we often just go together to avoid going alone. It’s... convenient. I was going to ask you last week about it, but I had forgotten until this morning. If you’d like to accompany me, I could always tell Faith—“

“No, don’t bother,” Buffy said coldly.

“Buffy? What’s wrong, love?”

“That word. Convenient. I just realized.”

“What?”

“That’s what I am to you. Convenient.”

“What are you talking about?”

“If Buffy can go, then Faith doesn’t have to. I have no one else to talk to, but Buffy is here to talk to. I have no one else to share my grief with, but Buffy is here to share it with. I have no one else to fuck, so Buffy will do. I’m lonely and Buffy is the only female I’ve met in ages, so she’ll do—“

“That was last year at the wedding and that was not what I was thinking! How can you even say all that to me? How can you honestly think that’s what you are to me?”

“Makes sense though, doesn’t it? It’s why you’re so jealous of Riley and get caveman on me when I try to leave the happy family you want us all to be. I’m here and I’m convenient for you. That’s why you don’t want me to go anywhere because then I won’t be there when you need me!” Shaking with anger and hurt, Buffy swung open the door and slammed it behind her before stalking out of the building, wanting to be done with William forever.

Buffy switched her phone off as she stormed back to the apartment. William had not stopped trying to call her since she had left. She did not want to talk to him, she did not want to see him, and if she could afford it, she did not want to stay with him anymore either.

Most of all, she did not want to be convenient. Why did he have to say it and confirm her fears? She wanted to be wanted, desired and though she would never admit this even to herself -- she wanted to be loved. To be loved by William.

She had no one to blame but herself. With one word, he had filled her with heartbreak and anger. She had known from the minute she met him all the years previous what kind of a man William Giles was: cold, unfeeling, and ruled by his head and not his heart.

Since she had come back to England, she had seen glimpses of a passionate, caring man. One who loved to cook breakfast for her and his niece, one who calmed her nightmares, and one who could make her burn with desire. She had fooled herself into thinking that he felt for her because of the person she was, not because she had been tied to the rest of his life through their niece. She and Ella had been dumped into his life and seeing the opportunity to have an instant family that he did not have to work for, William seized it.

Sure at first, her eyes had been wide open to the man he was. Slowly however, bit by bit, her vision had been clouded, blurred by the late night fireside chats, shared passionate embraces comfort and support given when needed.

Looking back, she could see that he had never given her any reason to fall in love with him; he had not changed. She was the one that had changed. As much as she wanted to be angry with William for making her feel this way, she knew the only person to blame was herself.

********

William was about ready to break another phone by hurling it across the room and smashing it against the wall. Bloody bint could be a down right frustrating, headstrong pain in the arse when she set her mind to it.

“Argh!” he growled loudly, not caring if everyone heard him. This is what she had reduced him to – an animal.

“Whoa! What’s gotten into you?”

Looking up, he found Faith coming in his office and shutting the door.

“Where’s Buffy?” she asked.

“She left. Thanks, by the way, for that.”

Faith had the audacity to look innocent. “What’d I do?”

He glared at her, “You know exactly what you did. Thanks to you, she thinks she’s just convenient now!”

Faith pointed at herself. “Thanks to me? How thanks to me?”

“Because of our arrangement, she now thinks that she’s my convenient built in family.”

“What is she to you, William?”

“She’s...she’s...”

“Okay, let’s take this one step at a time. What is her relation to you?”

“She’s Angel’s sister. She’s my sister-in-law. Ella’s aunt.”

“And do you think of her that way? I mean, do you care for her, William? Or are you just settling into the built in family you’ve got?”

“No! I do not think of her that way at all. That stubborn bint tried to tell me that I found her convenient once before and that was not the case at all. I was ... I was ... I was swept away by her. By her free spirit and her love of life. Her passion. She is everything I’m not and God help me, I need her.”

“Then I think you should leave right this second, and tell her just that, William. How is she supposed to know these things if you don’t tell her?”

********

Entering the empty apartment, feeling the words right on the tip of his tongue, William called Buffy’s name.

Silence greeted him.

“Buffy? Willow?” Pause. “Ella?”

Nothing. Sounds of silence. It was unnerving.

How was that possible? How long had he been coming home to silence? How often had he welcomed it, telling himself he did not want or need to have anyone here? Too often. He had to wonder how many times telling himself that had been just him trying to convince himself. The truth was, he did feel lonely at times, and he just never gave into it. He would bury himself in work or a book, anything to get his mind off the fact that he wished he had someone there to talk with, to share things with, and to laugh with.

After all this time with Buffy and Ella, sounds of silence were not what he looked forward to anymore. It put him on edge actually – where were the sounds of activity? Of Buffy calling for him or laughing at him. Where was Ella’s little voice laughing and gurgling at him? Those were the sounds he would come to associate with home and he did not ever want the silence back.

Checking his watch, he decided he might as well get ready for the function he had to go to. He was hoping that once he talked to Buffy, she would agree to go with him after all.

********

Buffy felt hot, worn out and was about to cry. She was frustrated. She was frustrated at herself, at William and the confusing British maps and roads. She felt ready to scream, and when she saw Willow coming toward her to take her home, with Ella in her arms, Buffy let the floodgates go and she burst into tears.

“Buffy! What happened?” Willow asked, rushing up. “How did you get lost?”

“Willow,” Buffy said, taking Ella in her arms and holding the baby tight, “If I knew how I got lost, then I never would have gotten lost in the first place.”

“Good point.”

“I just want to go... home.”

Willow looked at her imploringly, “Which home are you referring to?”

“At this moment? The United States of America. Where I, for one, am never lost and where I, for two, can read American men because you know what? Englishmen elude me completely.”

“Come on, let’s go to William’s. I’ll make you some tea and you can take a nice warm bath.”

Buffy nodded dumbly and followed her. Reaching into her pocket, she pressed the ‘off’ button on her phone so William could not call.

********

Entering the dining room, William found a note addressed to him. “William, Buffy was lost and called me. I took Ella with me to bring her back.”

Furious and worried about Buffy, William tried once more to call her. No answer, in fact it went straight to voice mail. Gritting his teeth, he narrowed his eyes when he heard the door opening.

Stalking into the living room, he found Willow, Buffy and Ella entering. Buffy was holding onto Ella and did not seem willing to let her go any time soon.

“Where the hell have you been?” William demanded of her. She looked a mess. Her hair was knotted, her mascara smudged and she looked as if she had been crying. Was that because of him? Concern came out as anger.

“I’ll take Ella,” Willow said softly and took Ella out of Buffy’s arms.

She looked up at him. “I got lost.”

He frowned, “I saw the note. How long were you lost for?”

“What the hell do you care? Oh, wait, I’m sorry. I wasn’t home like June Cleaver would have been to hand you your slippers and pipe. So sorry.”

All the anger that had subsided in her was coming back with a vengeance. It hurt, hurt to look at into his eyes and know that he did not love her. It angered her to look at him all dressed up, and still want him, and to know that he did not want her the same way. She fulfilled a need, and she was just there. Therefore, she did what anyone would do to the person who had hurt them: She lashed out and tried to make him feel as miserable as she was.

“I care Buffy,” he moved towards her.

“Do you? Do you really William?”

“Yes, I do.”

“If you care so much, then why didn’t you ever call me after the wedding?” Her question stopped him in his tracks. It came out so suddenly, that it stopped her in her tracks as well. Apparently, that had bothered her more than she had realized.

“Or maybe you didn’t start caring until you were inside me. Was that it? Did you start caring for me at the same time you starting coming?” she could see the effect she was having on him, and she could not stop herself.

“Buffy don’t do this, we need to talk about us--”

“There is no us William! There is you and me raising Ella that’s all, nothing else.”

“That’s not true, there is more to us than--”

“What the fighting? The fucking? What is it William? That’s all we seem to do and I for one am sick of it. All of it.”

“It’s not like that Buffy. You have it all wrong. You and Ella are--”

“A convenience. That’s what we are to you isn’t it? You hit the jackpot when Dru and Angel died. You got an instant family that you didn’t have to work for or love.”

“How dare you! When Dru died part of me died as well. I lost my sister; she was the world to me. There is nothing convenient about it.” He was fuming now, and Buffy took little satisfaction in seeing him upset.

“You are not the only one whose life got turned upside down Buffy. You, Ella... I never thought I would have anything like it in my life.”

“Ella, you mean Ella in your life. I am not in your life. I am just convenient like Faith, but I don’t get to go the fancy ball and who knows what else. I get the drunken lectures William, not the dressed up to the nines William.”

“You can come to the dinner tonight if you want,” he tried to reason, trying to calm both himself and her.

“It’s not about the dinner! It’s about everything but the stupid dinner.”

“Then tell me what has got you so upset? Let me make it better, please.”

She could see it in his eyes; she believed that he did want to make it better. Not because he loved her, but because she made his life easier. She wanted more than that; she deserved a hell of a lot more than that. “William, I am not yours to fix.” Tears filled her eyes as she heard the truth in her words. “I am not yours at all.” With that, she walked out of the room.

William went after her, not able to watch her walk away from him. He grabbed her arm, spinning her to him.

“That’s not true. We don’t just have Ella, sex, and fighting. We have more than that.”

“Like what? The fact that we both lost a sibling?” she snapped, pulling her arm back. “Just go William.”

“I wanted you to come with me tonight, dammit, I just forgot! I wanted you to be there with me, I did, I--" he broke off, emotion clogging him. He was horrible at this sort of thing, and he was making it worse!

“To be the trophy on your arm. Just go William. Go!”

Clenching his jaw, he stared down at her. “Fine,” he left, slamming the door behind him as he went.

Chapter 20

Buffy could never understand the reason why William drank so much each time after they had had a fight.

Until now.

As she swallowed down her fourth -- or was it fifth? -- shot of whiskey of that night, she was wondering why he did not do it more. As soon as William had left, she felt on edge. The bath Willow had run for her and done a little to ease her nerves, unlike the sixth shot she was now drinking.

Buffy wandered around the apartment, not to snoop, but trying to get a sense of William and how she had fallen in love with him without realising it.

He was attractive; she was not blind. While that had helped the process along, it was not the reason she loved him. There was a passion to him that drew her in, he kept it under the surface, and she suspected that he had kept it repressed for so long, he had forgotten he possessed it. Channelled it into his work probably, or at least his co-worker Faith.

Without realising it, she had wondered into his room. It sparsely decorated. She guessed some interior designer would call it minimalist. It had no personal touches with the exception of two things: the wedding photo that Angel had in his office, and black satin sheets on his bed – the same kind he had back at the estate.

She blushed as she thought back to the night they had spent finding comfort in each other’s bodies. It had not been about love, she knew that, but they had shared more than sex too. Maybe she had acted like a sixteen-year-old school girl-- in love with anyone who would have sex with her.

She picked up the photo; it seemed to be following her as if it were trying to tell her something -- Angel, Dru, William and herself all together, happily smiling, one big happy family. She wondered what Angel would say about her being in love with William. She closed her eyes and could hear his laughter, followed by a good dose of sibling ribbing, “Apple not falling far from the tree,” and all that. He would be happy for her. Angel had always wanted her to find the happiness that he and Dru had. Would he be happy at the price that he and Dru had paid for it?

Buffy opened William’s wardrobe, again she was not snooping, just finding out what made the man tick. Flipping through the tailored charcoal suits, she was not finding anything new until she spied a black leather duster in the back. Now this was interesting.

She took it out of the wardrobe and tried it on. It was a little big for her. It smelt of stale cigarettes and something uniquely William. She could not imagine him wearing something so… well, something so not a charcoal suit.

She walked back into the dining room in search of more alcohol, her head was beginning to pound, and she knew the only remedy for that was more shots. As she swallowed down another, she tried to reconcile William and the jacket. She could not see it. Then again, she could not see him taking a yoga class either and he had done that.

Crap, she was supposed to call Riley, she had promised to check in and see how the classes were going. She took her cell and dialled the number.

“Hey, it’s Riley leave your name and number after the beep and I will call you right back.”

“Riley, it’s Buffy. Just checking on how you and the classes were going. Call me when you get a chance.”

Buffy snapped the phone shut. See now Riley, it made much more sense if she could fall in love with him. At least they had things in common and did not want to rip each other’s throats out every ten seconds.

However, in the meantime, she would continue to snoop through William’s apartment.

********

“So, did you tell her?” Faith asked as soon as she climbed in his car.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“She hates me.”

“Did she say that?”

“In so many words.”

“William—“

“Can we drop this please?”

Faith sighed heavily, letting out a snort of disapproval in the process and said, “Fine.”

Only, she did not let it go. Once they were seated at their table, the table they had to share with three other couples, she brought it up again. That would not have been too bad had it not been during a speech.

“She should have come,” Faith said matter-of-factly.

William glared at her. “She hates me remember?”

“William, she doesn’t hate you. That woman was ready to claw my eyes out.”

William looked at her, aghast. “What?”

“You don’t know anything about women at all do you?” Faith asked dryly. “She thought we were an item, and that you’d kept me from her. Were you trying to make her jealous?”

“No, I – I just—“

“Forgot about me?” Faith asked her mouth quirking into a smile.

He said nothing, but smiled apologetically at her, and at the people at the table glaring at them.

“William,” Faith continued, mindless of what anyone thought or where they were and what they should be doing. “Are you in love with her?”

William felt as though he had been sucker punched. That question, the very idea of it, sent all the air in him evacuating. His mind conjured up Buffy in his mind. Gorgeous, smart, quirky, saucy, sarcastic, witty, with a killer smile and body, Buffy. The Buffy that had turned his life upside down, the Buffy that drove him round the bend – The Buffy that put him in his place, the Burry that made him loosen up and want more in his life than his career.

“Bloody hell,” he murmured in amazement.

Faith smirked, “Thought so. Here’s an idea. Get the hell home and tell her or she’ll think you hate her.”

********

William had never felt such a panicked rush to get somewhere before. He felt frantic and every minute that went by, felt like twenty. When he finally got to his penthouse, he ran up the stairs and burst through the door. It was dark in the sitting room, however…

Was that The Sex Pistols he was hearing coming from his bedroom? Making his way to the second floor, he found the light on his bedroom, spilling into the hallway. What the—

Walking in, he found Buffy in his duster, jamming out to what was in fact The Sex Pistols.

She was . . . “Are you drunk?” he demanded.

Buffy stopped mid dance and he had to admit, she looked absolutely adorable in his duster jamming to his music. Her hair was a tangled mess in her face, and she appeared to be hot by the red of her cheeks. Was it any wonder why he loved this woman?

She pointed at him, “What are you doing here?”

“Pet, how is it that you’re the one in my room, in my duster, listening to my music, but somehow you’ve managed to make it seem as if I’m the guilty party here?” He was not angry or accusatory at all, merely amused.

She pouted, holding her head high.

That lip…gonna get it…gonna get it…

She took a deep breath and pointed at him, opening her mouth to say something and then started to crumble to the floor.

William rushed to her, “Buffy?”

“Is the room supposed to spin? I feel like I’m on a Sit and Spin.”

He held back a chuckle, “Come on, pet. Let’s get you lying down.”

“Won’t that make it worse?”

“Just shut your eyes and focus on something else.”

Helping her flop on the bed she sprawled out, her limbs flung everywhere. She looked like a starfish. She smiled dreamily. “Home…”

He frowned, trying to gauge what home she meant exactly. “I’m going to get you some water, love.”

She murmured her agreement to that and kept her eyes closed. Quickly, William rushed to get water and aspirin, and finding the empty whiskey, he grimaced at the thought of her hangover and rushed back to her.

However, she wasn’t lying down as he had told her. Why he thought she would do as he said when she was drunk, as she never did when sober, he didn’t know. She was back up dancing as though his room had turned back into a club.

“I had my rest; the room has stopped spinning now.” By way of explanation she did another twirl around the room.

“I don’t know why you like this music William. It’s very hard to dance to. Do you have any Abba?”

“Sorry pet this is an Abba free zone. The whole idea of punk wasn’t about dancing, it was about breaking rules and not caring about what any one else thought.”

She started to laugh hysterically. “William Giles you wouldn’t know how to break a rule even if you tried.”

‘”I take offence to that. I was quite the rebel back in the day.”

“Okay, first off rebel boy, I don’t think bad asses use the term ’back in the day’, in fact no one under 85 uses the term ‘back in the day’.”

“True,” he consented.

Buffy sat back down on the bed next to him. “What happened? When did rebel William get replaced by Mister Tightly Wound?”

“Spike.”

“You got spiked?”

No back in the day my name was Spike. I don’t know what happened really. I had all these plans be a rock star and the like, but when my father died it was all taken from me. I had to grow up.”

“Like I had to when Angel died.” She understood the loss of dreams never realised.

“It will get easier, I promise. I know it’s hard when you lose the person you love,” he said gently.

She looked up at the person that she loved and knew how hard it was to love someone that didn’t love you back. To love someone and to be afraid to tell them. She could almost hear him in her head saying ”Now Buffy, don’t be ridiculous. You know we’re here for Ella. . . “ Though that had never stopped the outbursts of passion he was prone to. The kissing, the almost kissing, and the way he freaked whenever Riley was around.

However, that disrupted the nuclear family they had going, didn’t it? I mean, Faith was the woman to go to parties with and Buffy was the woman to come home and play house with. And if the lines blurred a bit and they had a bit of sex, well then, that worked out well then, didn’t it?

Except it didn’t work out well. Not for her. She wanted to know that those outbursts of passion were because William wanted her, not the family they made. That his hatred of Riley had to do with had to do with jealousy and not the fear she’d disrupt their home life to be with Riley instead.

She was dangerously close to tears now. I really miss my brother.

William watched her, could see the wheels turning and the sadness that overcame her almost instantly. “Buffy, pet…talk to me. What is it?”

She shook her head, and wiped at the tears that were beginning to fall. “Nothing.”

“No, it’s something. Talk to me, please.”

“I don’t want to,” she said petulantly, pouting.

“Do you want to lie down?”

She shook her head.

Not bothering to ask her permission, William gathered her in his arms and felt himself sigh with relief when she didn’t pull back. He’d wanted to do this all night. This was where she belonged; this was where he belonged. He rubbed her back soothingly, trying to waylay some of her sadness.

“I miss Angel,” she whimpered. “He’d know what to do. He always knew what to do.”

“What to do about what, kitten?”

She answered by burying her face in his chest.

“I’m here, Buffy. You can talk to me believe it or not. I haven’t made things easy on you, I know. I keep bouncing back and forth, playing hot and cold…and we never seem to get our hot and cold to coincide, do we?”

She said nothing, so he continued. At least she was listening.

“I draw you in and then pull back and it’s no wonder you think you’re just there out of convenience. I don’t give you any reason to think that I might care any different for you than the fact that you’re my sister-in-law and we take care of Ella together. But, Buffy…I…I love you. That’s the first time I’ve told anyone but my family that. I realize that telling you this while you’re drunk is not the best time, considering you might not remember any of it and your emotions are running high and –“ He broke off when he heard her snore. “And because you could pass out at any time during my declaration.” He sighed heavily. “Great, that’s just great.”


He sighed and set the cup down. If you can’t beat em’ join em’, he thought and set about preparing for bed. When he was changed, he arranged Buffy comfortably against the pillows and covered her up. Stretching out next to her, he kissed her forehead. “We’ll talk in the morning, pet.”

It was the phone and not William’s alarm clock that woke the pair the next morning. Groaning, William thinking it was his alarm clock, since he was feeling groggy from the day before, reached out to shut it off. In addition, that is when he realized it was not his alarm clock, but Buffy’s phone. Sitting up, he found Buffy blindly groping for it, and missing it each time. Course, it did not help that her eyes were shut the entire time.

The phone stopped as soon as he flicked it open, but he was able to catch that it was Riley.

Riley. Finn. Riley fucking Finn.

“Who was it?” Buffy groaned into her pillow.

“It was your partner in crime.”

“Huh?”

“Riley Finn,” William all but spat at her.

That was when Buffy shot up. “What am I doing in bed with—“ she looked down at herself, the duster still on. “Oh. What am I doing here?”

“You don’t remember?”

She wrinkled her nose and lay down slowly. “I… drank like a fish. I came in here and found your duster and I kind of remember you being here…”

“What the hell is Riley calling you for? Didn’t you tell him you’d be away? Did he have some yoga emergency? He sprain a calf or something?”

“Well, seeing as how I didn’t talk to him, how am I supposed to know…oh…I did call him last night though.”

“What the bloody hell for?”

She looked at him, annoyed. “To find out how classes were going. What is the matter with you?”

“You’re asking me what’s wrong? You’re the one snooping in my room and wearing my duster.”

“You could have put me back in my bed,” she snapped.

“You were a mess. I wasn’t going to have you puking on me.”

Buffy crawled out of bed despite her head pounding and the room spinning. He could go from taking care of her, obviously, while she was drunk, to being an ornery old man for no reason. God, she just wished she could hate him. All she did though was hate herself for loving him. He, however, did not have to know that.

“I hate you!” she shouted at him. Apparently though, she could muster up some anger for him.

“I hate you more!” he shouted back and stomped out of the room to his shower.

She went the opposite way to her bedroom, and then the bathroom, where she promptly threw up.

********

“You want to what?” Faith said to Buffy, completely taken back.

“I want to file for custody of Ella. I don’t want to take her away from William, he can see her of course, but I want to work something out where I can take her to the States with me. I can’t be here anymore.”

“Isn’t taking her to the States making it so he can’t see her?”

“Well, I was hoping that we could work something out, like I have her for six months of the year, and he has her for the next six. Course, that would probably work better when she’s older, but he could come out to the States until she’s old enough to travel.”

“What about you coming here?”

“I am done with here.”

“Buffy, I really think you should talk to William about this.”

“We’ll talk when the papers are drawn.”

“Buffy, you know nothing happened with William and me last night, right?”

“Faith, your relationship with William is none of my business.”

“Buffy, there is no relationship with me and William. He’s a co-worker. He’s a friend at work and for work related functions, but we don’t spend time together or anything.”

“That’s fine, whatever; I just want to get this under way.”

“I will draw up some drafts for you to go over with him. In the meantime, though, on a personal note, I really think you should talk to him about this first. He’s going to be hurt when he reads some papers without hearing it from you first.”

Buffy’s eyes welled up in tears. “Well, then he’ll know how it feels to have his heart ripped out then, won’t he?”


“You didn’t talk to her.” Faith stood in the doorway of William’s office.

“Good morning to you Faith,” William replied, not looking up from his work.

After this mornings outburst with Buffy, all he wanted to do was get lost in is cases and forget all about one Buffy Summers. Someone obviously forgot to tell the rest of the world about that.

“I told you to go home and talk to her Will, what happened?” she came in and sat down at the desk.

“I don’t see what my personal life has to do with my professional life, so unless this is about work Faith, you can leave.”

“Ok, but before I go, let me tell you about a new case I am working on, a custody case.”

“You are in real estate Faith what the hell are you doing taking custody cases?” His head was starting to pound; it used to be that work was the place where he could relax. Not any more.

“Buffy came to see me this morning.” A punch to the stomach would have been a softer blow. “She wants custody of Ella so she can take her back to the States.”

It took a few moments for her words to sink in. Buffy was leaving. Moreover, she wanted to leave. Leave London; leave him.

“What did she say exactly?” his words came out more frantic than he had meant them to.

“Talk to her Will, I haven’t filed anything, and I won’t until you tell me to.”

“She hates me. God what am I going to do? All I want is to make her happy.” He felt sick to his stomach. All his life he had protected himself from emotional attachments for this very reason. They can be taken, snatched from you, in the blink of an eye.

“Then talk to her, you can sort it out. Tell her how you feel.”

“Pissed off is how I feel.”

“About her, you need to tell her.”

“Tell her what? That I love her? I don’t think so. She hates me. God, I screwed this one up good and proper haven’t I?” he held his head in his hands and he tried to sort out the conflicting emotions running through his body.

“She doesn’t hate you Will; you should have seen her this morning. She was distraught.”

“We had a fight this morning. I overreacted when her phone rang -- there was yelling and she told me she hates me.”

“Talk to her Will. Ever consider the idea that she’s hurting and lashed out like that to make you hurt too?”

“What if I give her what she wants? She can’t hate me then can she?” The idea of Buffy hating him, of being disgusted by the sight of him, was too much for him to bear. If she could at least tolerate him, maybe there would be some hope, some day. He could fix it one day. One day…one day he could fix it.

“You don’t have to do this, just….”

“Draw up the papers. She can have custody, but here in London, she can have run of the estate and I want visitation on the weekends. Also, set up an account in Ella’s name but make Buffy a signatory, whatever the usual weekly allowance is, triple it.” He buried himself back into his papers, willing his tears away. A few moments passed before he realized that Faith was still there.

“I don’t pay you to sit around and do nothing Faith, draw up the papers.”

Chapter 22

Buffy watched the rainfall out her bedroom window. It was Friday. Fridays were usually her favourite day of the week; it was the day William would come back from London. However, she knew that he would not be coming home today.

She, Ella and Willow had returned to the estate three days previous after Faith had called to tell her that William had agreed to the custody terms for Ella.

The fact that he had not put up a fight surprised her. He was a lawyer after all, and he lived to fight. It also confirmed her worst fears; he did not want her in his life. The confirmation of this hard knowledge in a strange way empowered her. She felt relief in knowing where she stood with William.

She had not spoken to him since the morning they had awoken in his bed together. As soon as Faith had called that afternoon, she had packed her, Willow and Ella up and left London. In the time since they had returned, she knew that William had called the estate to check on Ella’s well being. Everyday in fact, and not once had he asked to speak to Buffy.

“As it should be,” she convinced herself as she made her way to Ella’s room. William and her needed clear, defined boundaries in their relationship and that is what she had done in filing the custody papers. They were Ella’s guardians; they had no claim to each other. Her mind had been made up, she had done the best thing, and her heart was taking a little longer to come to the same conclusion.

She missed him, missed William. His smile, voice, and the way he made her laugh without doing anything remotely funny. In all, the way he had made her feel.

********

Buffy was still deep in thought as she gave Ella her bath. Actually, a more correct assessment of the situation would be that Ella was having a bath, and giving Buffy a shower at the same time. How such a small child could splash so much water was beyond her. She was drenched from head to toe.

She smiled despite herself as she remembered when William had bathed Ella and ended up the same way. She pushed the pang of regret away as she tried to focus on the happiness that Ella was bringing to her.

“Do you want me to finish up here?” Willow’s voice broke her from her thoughts. “You look as though you need to dry yourself off.”

“Thanks Will. That would be great.”

As she made her way back to her room, she heard the doorbell ring.

“Hey B.”

Buffy stood in shock, door still in hand, as she saw Faith in front of her.

“Faith, what are you doing here?”

“I needed to give you some papers to sign. I was going to send them with William but he insisted I come down and give them to you. Make a weekend of it.”

She could hear about every other word coming from Faith’s mouth.

“William, what?”

“Is getting our bags out of the car, he should be right behind…”

“Hello, Buffy,” William nodded as he made his way through the door. She was sure that it was just the fact that she was cold and wearing wet clothes that had caused her to shiver.

“Faith, follow me. I will show you to our room,” William gestured for Faith to follow him.

Buffy tried to mask the pain of hearing “our” room. It took her a few moments to regain her composure. Once she had, she realised they had both disappeared.

********

“Our room, William?” Faith said, smirking, as she followed William. “We have a room together now?”

William was barely paying attention to Faith, and only caught the tail end of her sentence. He stopped in the hall and turned to her. “What are you going on about?”

“You told Buffy you were going to show me to our room.”

William dropped the bags he was holding. “I did?”

“Yep. I think you crushed her.”

“I did?”

”What is wrong with you?”

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Seeing Buffy again after the filing and her leaving, seeing her in the house after obviously having given Ella a bath, seeing her bra through her shirt…his mind was a muddled mess of longing and hurt.

“You all right?” Faith asked gently.

”No, I’m…I am, I mean, I am.”

“You know what I think?”

“No, and I’m not sure I want to know.”

“Oh, shut up. I think maybe you should play this up a little.”

“Play what up?”

“You and me, our room—“

“Faith, we don’t have a room—“

“I know that, but she doesn’t know that! She thinks we do after your little slip!”

”What are you getting at?”

“Are you really that dense? My God, no wonder she gets so frustrated with you—“

”Can you get to the point, please?” William said impatiently.

“If she thinks there’s something going on, that could help you get her. You know, by making her jealous.”

William shook his head. “No, I’m not playing that game with Buffy. For one thing, she’s too smart for something like that, for another, if she found out later, she’d shoot me, and for another…I’m just…I’m tired Faith. I don’t have it in me to play any sort of game right now.”

“Not even if it meant getting Buffy?”

”No games to get Buffy, Faith. If one day she should come to me, I want it to be of her own free will, not because she was tricked into it,” and he grabbed the bags, stalking off once more.

Faith frowned. “Well fine,” she muttered crossing her arms across her chest. “If you won’t play, then I will. I guarantee I will get you two thick-headed morons together by the end of this weekend.”

********

Once Faith was settled, William resigned to his room to shower and change. He was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally and physically. However, he had not been running in quite a while. His muscles felt tense and bunched up. What he really needed was a good stretch, some…yoga.

He shut his eyes and sat on his bed. Yes, he needed some yoga with Buffy as his instructor. Touching him, laughing at him as he tried to mould his body in one shape to another. He had missed her after she left. Her scent had lingered on his pillow and every night he found himself pressing his nose into those pillows, conjuring up her image and wondering how on God’s Green Earth he was ever going to get over her.

He was not. Plain and simple fact. The first woman he ever fell for was the last woman he would fall for.

Hearing Ella’s cry, William went to the door and flung it open, finding Buffy and Ella sailing down the hall.

“Buffy?”

She stopped, and turned, “Hi,” she said smiling, and it seemed forced.

”What are you doing?”

“Ella was a little upset after her bath, got water up her nose, and so I was just taking her for a walk around the house to calm her down.”

“Mind if I join you?” he blurted out before he could think.

She blinked. “Uh, sure. I don’t want to disturb you and Faith—“

“You’re not disturbing anything,” he said quickly, and stepped out into the hall.

They walked for a long time saying nothing, only Ella’s sobs filling the silence.

“So,” Buffy started but the sentence died on her lips.

“So, how are the classes going?” William asked.

“Classes?”

“Yoga classes, love, unless you have starting running a cooking school out of the kitchen as well.”

“Yoga, yeah they are going well, I guess.”

“When’s the next class?”

“This afternoon at four. Why?”

“I was planning on catching it.”

“Won’t you be busy with Faith, I mean busy showing Faith around?” Buffy asked trying to keep the bitter tone from her voice.

“Look about that, Faith and I are not sharing a room. Not sharing anything in fact.”

“William, you don’t have to explain anything to me. It’s your life; you can do what you want.”

“No, I can’t do what I want.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, just forget about it. Class is at four, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok. Well, I will see you there.”

Buffy was acutely aware of William in the room when he arrived for yoga. It seemed ever since she admitted to herself that she was in love with him, she became intensely aware when he was around. She was the moth to his flame and her body, with a mind of its own, wanted to go to him. Nevertheless, she would not give in to that. Therefore, she sent Riley to help him instead.

The look on Riley’s face was one of surprise when she whispered that perhaps William needed help, and the look on William’s face when Riley came over instead of her, was one of surprise and then annoyance. In fact, he shot her a slight glare, but Buffy ignored it and attended to the other people in the class who needed her.

Then Faith came bustling in, apologizing for being late and setting up camp next to William. Buffy’s whole body tensed when she got a gander at Faith in her tight and skimpy black tank top that rode up high enough to practically be a bra and showed off her belly. In addition, Faith had her belly button pierced. An image of William peppering Faith’s belly with kisses the way he had done to her had Buffy ready to scream.

From that point on, Buffy strategically avoided even looking at them, making sure to keep well enough away so she did not even have to hear their voices giggling and laughing together.

When class was over, Buffy packed up her things as quickly as she could, saying goodbye to the students that came up to wish her a good day. She smiled brilliantly at them, trying to appear untouched. Inside, she was a veritable mess, feeling as though she wanted to crawl out of her skin.

Riley came up just before she was about to bolt. “You okay?”

She smiled and nodded, “Yup! I’m fine. Just... just feeling a little under the weather--”

“So, Buffy, what time is dinner tonight so I’m not late for that too,” Faith said, coming up with a grin on her face, her arm slung through William’s.

Buffy stared at their entwined limbs, “Uh, usually around… six.”

“I can never remember,” William muttered.

“That’s because you’re hardly ever here for it,” Buffy retorted. Before William could reply, Buffy turned to Riley. “Hey, Riley—you want to join us for dinner tonight?”

Riley broke out in a wide grin. “Sure, I’d really like that.”

“Great,” Buffy smiled brilliantly.

“Shall I bring anything?”

“Hmmm…let me think on that while I walk you to the car.” Buffy said in faux thoughtfulness and slung her arm through his, walking him to the door. Take that, William.

********

Breaking free from Faith’s grip, William turned to her and growled. “What the hell are you doing?”

Faith looked up at him innocently. “What do you mean?”

William glared at her, “You know exactly what I mean. Stop acting like we’re together.”

“Why?”

“Cause now she’s gone and invited that oversized hall monitor over!”

Faith regarded him calmly. “Hmmm…Then maybe you should tell her how you feel.”

Stalking off, William muttered loud enough for Faith to hear, “Bloody women,” and Faith had herself a little chuckle. With a little more nudging, those two were going to explode in their want of each other.

~~~~~~

Buffy was about to throw up. As she sat down at the oversized dinning table, it took all the strength she possessed not to hurl all over her Filet Mignon. It was not the dinner that had caused her stomach to turn it was—

“Oh my god, that is the best piece of meat I have had in my mouth for months!”

It was Faith, more specifically, Faith throwing herself at William. Once she had gotten over her shock and disappointment at seeing the two of them at yoga, she realized her mistake in asking Riley to dinner.

For one, it meant that she had to sit and have dinner with Riley and two; it meant that she had to watch a soft porn version of the lives and loves of William Giles. Did he have to rub her nose in it? I guess its not rubbing your nose in it when he had no clue that she—

“I love him.”

Buffy’s head snapped up at the sound of Faith’s voice. “Who, who do you love?” she tried not to sound as desperate as she felt.

“That chef, you know the one who swears a lot. What is his name?” Relief washed over Buffy for a split second. She thought Faith was talking about William not—

“Gordon Ramsey,” Riley answered.

“Can’t stand him myself, gives all us British a bad name,” William commented as he took another mouthful of beef.

“Because you do such a bang up job at giving them a good name,” Buffy remarked, did she just day that out loud? Looking at the hurt expression on William’s face and the stunned look on everyone else’s, she figured yes.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, just forget I said anything,” Buffy mumbled as she looked down at her plate. Yes, dinner had been on of the worst idea’s she had ever had.

“I wish I could drown out your voice from inside my head, but how that’s never going to happen is it?” William spat and she could see the anger and hurt in his eyes.

“You tell me William, I am not a mind reader.”

“Neither am I Buffy. Trying to figure out what you want is harder than climbing Mount Everest.”

“I have done it,” Riley remarked.

“What? Figured out what Buffy wants?” William snapped.

“No, not that. I climbed mount Everest about four years ago.”

Faith burst out laughing and as annoying as the sound was to Buffy, it did take some of the steam off her anger.

“Really life changing, one of the best things I have ever done,” Riley continued.

“So tell me, Riley, is it?” William asked.

“Is it what?”

“Is it easier to climb Everest than to figure out what Buffy wants?”

The tension in the room was palpable.

“That’s not the question you really want to ask is it William.” Faith asked, “What you want to know is if it’s as easy to climb Mount Everest as it is to mount Buffy?”

William’s jaw dropped at that remark and Buffy all but flung her utensils on her plate, causing the silence that was produced by Faith’s uncalled for remark to shatter.

Buffy jumped up from her seat and glared at Faith. She wanted to scream at her, scream at William and ask her why she dared be angry with < i>her when she was the one that was so obviously going to be sharing William’s bed.

“Bitch,” was all Buffy managed to spit through clenched teeth. She was going…somewhere.

Passing by the door to the wine cellar, Buffy took pause. Yes, that is what she needed. A nice, big bottle of wine. Flicking the light on, Buffy made her way down the creaky stairs to grab herself a special kind of warm milk before bedtime.

********

“Uh, I think that was kind of uncalled for,” Riley started.

“Oh, shut the hell up, Finn!” William barked, throwing his napkin down on the table and standing, glowering at Faith. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing,” Faith said innocently.

“That was out of line, Faith and you know it. Stop doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Not until you do!” Faith shouted back.

William shook his head. “You’re off your bird,” he muttered and stalked off. Walking by the wine cellar, he heard someone fumbling around. Curious, he started down to see who it was at this time of night.

********
“Great, now I have to apologize to the both of them,” Faith muttered and stood, throwing her napkin down and heading for William.

“What is going on?” Riley asked, following her.

“God, what now? Need some wine for your disgusting girlfriend?” Buffy’s voice wafted up to them from the wine cellar.

Faith paused and when Riley opened his mouth to speak, she slapped a hand over his mouth.

“How many times do I have to tell you she’s not my girlfriend?” Yes, that was William down there with her.

“The way you were acting you might as well have fornicated right on the table!” Buffy shouted.

“Me? What about you and Mr. I climbed Mount Everest!”

Smirking, Faith quietly took hold of the door and shut it, locking it and taking the key, placing it in her pocket. “Gotta love these old houses with locks like that.”

“What are you doing?” Riley asked, wide-eyed.

“Giving William and Buffy a chance to work out their issues.”

“You’re such a pretentious ass!” Buffy screamed.

“You’re such a bitch!” William screamed back.

“They’re gonna kill each other,” Riley whispered.

“Honey, you’ve got a lot to learn. They’re not gonna end it by killing each other. They’re going to end it by doing each other.”

William watched Buffy aimlessly wander around the wine cellar. It was obvious she had no idea what she was looking for and that the wheels were turning in her mind. He was waiting, for he knew that when she found the words, she was going to smite him.

“You’ve turned into quite the lush lately, love.” Okay, so he just could not wait much longer to get the ball rolling.

Her head snapped to him. “You’re one to talk. How many times have you gotten drunk?”

“Gee, I wonder what could have driven me to it,” William said, patronizingly.

“That’s funny considering you’ve now driven me to the same thing. I guess I learned it from watching you.”

William could not help the grin that was tugging the corners of his mouth.

“What are you grinning for?” she demanded, incredulous.

“Arguing with you has always been one of my favorite pastimes,” he admitted.

“You’re bent,” she said, disgusted.

“Yeah, but it got you off, didn’t it?”

“Did it?”

William’s good humor faded. “Not even funny, pet.”

“Well, I guess Faith can let me know. Unless of course she’s so loose it’s like sticking your dick in a well.”

“I. Am. Not. With. Her.”

“If you think that she’s going to raise my niece, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“And if you think that git is going to raise her, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“I’m not with him!”

“I’m not with her, you stupid bint, but you won’t listen to me even after I’ve said it a thousand times!”

“Why is she here? Why did you bring her this weekend huh?” Buffy asked, poking him hard in the chest.

“Ow, that hurt!” William bellowed. “She came here so you can sign those goddamn papers. Side bar: You’re not leaving the country.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not taking Ella out of the country. You want away from me, fine, you stay here and I’ll stay there, in London, but you’re not leaving the country.”

“I just can’t get away from this place, can I?” Buffy said, throwing up her arms in exasperation.

“What you mean is that you want away from me, and I will be coming on the weekends to be with Ella. You will be free to leave if you so wish so you don’t have to deal with me.”

“How generous of you,” Buffy said sarcastically.

“Well, seeing as I know how you can barely stand the sight of me, I figured I was helping you out.”

Her eyes widened. “Me? It’s you, that can’t stand me. It’s why you’ve moved on to—“

Grabbing her shoulders, William shouted, “I am not with her and I don’t want to be with her!”

“Then why is she acting like you’re together? What, you still holding out that I’ll give it up one last time to you, William? Well, you know, maybe Riley would like to have a go with me--”

Buffy never did get to finish that sentence because the next thing she knew, William’s lips had crashed onto hers and he had enveloped her in a mind-bending kiss that was sure to rob her of everything.

She reveled in it for the briefest of moments, letting herself forget whom, what, where and whys of the situation; she just felt. Moreover, as William’s hands moved down her back onto her bottom, she let herself be felt to.

“Stop,” she pushed him away. “You are unbelievable you know that? Do you do this in the courtroom too? Anytime opposing council brings up a point you don’t agree with, instead of shouting objection, do you grab them and kiss them senseless?”

“No, but now that you mention it that might be a great new strategy,” he chuckled as he made his way back over towards her.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she folded her arms across her chest and stepped away from him.

“Trying out my new found strategy,” he moved in towards her as though he was a lion stalking his prey.

Any more steps back and Buffy’s back would be hitting a wall. “No, I will not be your mock trail, William, so you can go back upstairs and do the real thing with ‘Miss Best Meat I have Ever Had in my Mouth’. “

His roar of anger made her jump. “How many bloody times do I have to say it? I. Am. Not. With. Her. Never have been, and never will be. We work together that’s all.”

“But what about the dinners and the romantic weekend away?” she asked. “I have eyes William! She’s sexy, beautiful- and from everything I have seen this weekend- more than a sure thing.”

“The dinners are a business arrangement that’s all, and the weekend away, well, that’s your fault.”

“My fault? My fault? What the hell have I done to invite the Queen of Sluttonia here?”

“She came here so you could sign the custody papers. Papers, need I remind you, that you requested.”

She could see for the briefest of moments the hurt in his face at the mention of the custody papers.

“Well, she has been here more than six hours and no papers have been sighted, a hell of a lot of cleavage, but no papers. Maybe the two of you have been too busy.”

“I. Am. Not. With. Her. When are you going to get that though your thick skull? What is it going to take to convince you?”

“Why not William? Going soft in your old age? Maybe she is too strong for you,” she continued thoughtfully, narrowing her eyes. “We both know first-hand how much you love your women to be weak and vulnerable. Not so easy to leave in the morning with a note when they will chase after you to find out why.”

She was out of line but she did not care. In fact, she had left caring about six stops back. She wanted to lash out and be angry because if she held onto the anger, she would not have to make way for the desire that was coursing through her.

“No,” he said, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head. He almost sounded defeated. “Is that what you really think of me? I am not with Faith because I don’t love her. I can’t love her.”

“See? You admit it. You are not able to love any one else.” She felt some weird sense of relief at his words, it was not that he did not want to love her, he just did not know how.

William took a trembling breath and met her eyes. “I can’t love her Buffy. Not now, not ever. I can’t love her because I love you.” At that point, her relief turned into absolute shock.

Buffy shook her head, “No, no, no. You can’t!”

William looked at her despairingly, “Is it so awful that I do? Does it make your skin crawl to know that?”

“No, it’s just that…it’s just that…” Suddenly the dank and cool wine cellar felt hot and constricting. Fanning her shirt out, she started for the stairs.

William grabbed her arm, pulling her back. “We need to talk about this! You’re not running out on me this time, Buffy.”

“I can’t breathe!” she shouted. “I need…air.”

“Fine, we’ll get out of here and then we are going to talk. Do you understand me?”

”Yes,” Buffy whispered and William led the way up the stairs.

Pushing on the door, it did not give way.

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked.

Turning the handle and pushing, shoving and then finally, hitting his shoulder with the door did not budge it. “Faith you crazy bird, let us out!”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked gravely, realization dawning.

William turned to her and smirked. “Guess we’re gonna have to have our chat right here, Buffy.”

Chapter 25

“She’s a whack job, you know that right?” Buffy asked as she bounded back down the stairs, annoyed.

“Yet another reason I could never be with her,” William muttered following her down.

Buffy turned to face him. “Have you ever thought about it?”

“Thought about what? Being with her?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe once or twice,” he shrugged.

”What stopped you?”

”Too busy and just…not interested.”

“Then what made you think of it?”

William rolled his eyes. “I’m a man, she’s a woman…I just did. I never put much thought into why I thought it.”

“Have you ever been in love before William?”

“Before you? No.”

Buffy shut her eyes and the opened them. “You don’t…you don’t love me. Sex isn’t love.”

“Dammit woman, you think I’m that daft that I don’t know that? I’ve been around enough to know there is a marked difference between the two.”

“Then how can you—“

In an instant, he was before her, his eyes boring into hers with tender intensity, his hands settling on her hips and his body so close, she could feel the heat from it.

Buffy was going to swoon, she was sure of it.

“Buffy, I love everything that you are, everything that you do. Every little thing you do. I love how you fight me and challenge me, and the way you love Ella. I love that you can rail at me one minute and then be gentle and loving the next. I love that you put me in my place and keep me on my toes.” Ghosting a kiss across her lips, he continued. “I love the way you look in the morning, I love the way you look in the afternoon and I love the way you look when you’re just about to go to bed.”

”Will,” Buffy whispered, feeling the magnetic pull of his body.

Cupping the side of her face, he kissed her sweetly. “You stormed into my life Buffy and I didn’t realize what I was missing until you came in and …” he grinned, “Knocked me on my ass.”

“Will—“

“Can you give me a chance, Buffy? Give me a chance to right all those wrongs I took against you and let me show you, prove to you, how much I am helplessly in love with you and need you in my life. Just you. Not because I’m lonely or because I want to expound upon the built in family we have, but—“

“William!”

“What?”

“Shut up,” and Buffy leaned up, grabbing the back of his head and kissed him full on the mouth.

William could not remember a time where he had felt this happy, or this aroused, or this hopeful. Something about being in Buffy’s arms made him feel as though he was complete. However, there was something nagging in the back of his mind. Something he needed to know before they took this any further. Moreover, he needed to know it soon, because the way Buffy was currently unbuttoning his shirt and kissing her way down his chest, he figured he had about five seconds of rational thought left in him.

He looked down at Buffy as she knelt before him, her hands starting to undo his belt buckle.

“Please.” he started

“William, I am on my knees with your belt in my hand. It’s pretty much a home run from here,” she said as she went back to work on the belt.

He stilled her hands and knelt in front of her.

“As much as it pains me to say it, and they will probably take my membership to the male race away from me, I wasn’t talking about that.”

“Oh? Did I not do it right last time?”

He wanted to laugh out loud at her question. “No, love, you are perfect, everything you do is perfection. What I mean is, last time when we had sex it was unplanned, unexplained. I don’t want you to think that this is what I want second time around.”

“Oh,” Buffy seemed disappointed, she started to get up, and his hands stilled her.

“I love you and when and if we do this, I want us to be on the same page about it. I guess what I am asking is do you love me?” He had never been so open to hurt in all his life. He had protected himself from moments like this, for what? As scary as this was, he would not trade it for all his safe moments in the entire world.

Taking a deep breath, she met his eyes, her smile warming his heart. “William, I love you.”

He never really had a chance from the moment they had started fighting in his office all those years and lifetimes before, it was always going to end in this moment.

“Really?” his confidence was that of a schoolboy: He did not dare believe.

“Yes, really.” With that, she leant in and kissed him. Kisses so filled with love that it made him want to weep. He took a moment to savor the feeling of being loved by another for the first time.

Then the desire kicked in and instead of fighting it as he had from the first moment he had met her, he gave into it completely. He kissed her back with all the love, desire and passion he could muster. Her moans told him that he was doing the right thing.

His hands made there way up her neck and he ran his fingers through her golden tresses. He laid her down onto the floor as gently as he could.

“Master William.”

He smiled as he heard his name whilst he was peppering kisses down Buffy’s neck making his way down towards her breasts. He looked up to Buffy, “You don’t have to be so formal love, in fact …” he started to undo Buffy’s jeans.

“It wasn’t me,” Buffy pointed towards the cellar door he turned to see Elsie the head maid standing in the doorway.

“Master William, your guests have left. I thought you might like to know. However, I can see that you are otherwise engaged,” she politely looked away as Buffy and William picked themselves up off the floor.

“Thank you, Elsie. Did Faith leave as well?”

“Yes, Master William, they have.”

“And Riley?” Buffy asked.

“Yes, the young gentleman as well.”

“Thanks, Elsie,” Buffy chirped, trying not to freak that Elsie had just found them in a compromising position. Her cheeks told a different story though, because they felt as though they were on fire. Looking up at William, she noted that he appeared completely calm, as if this sort of thing happened all the time.

She frowned at the thought. She was not sure she wanted to know if it had happened in the past. Perhaps the wine cellar was an aphrodisiac of sorts.

Grabbing her hand, William squeezed it and tugged her to follow him up the stairs. “I want you, love; but I’d prefer a bed rather than the floor of the wine cellar.”

She smiled at his back, “I agree. Has, um, the wine cellar seen that kind of action before?”

William looked over at her, and his look told her that he thought that perhaps she was a little crazy. “Not with me it hasn’t. Why do you ask? Got a bit of the kink in you, pet?”

Buffy beamed at him as they made it safely to civilization. “Well, you should know by now, don’t you think?”

William growled and tugged her into his arms, kissing her with a hunger that matched her own. “Did you mean it? What you said?” he asked breathlessly, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I did, William.”

“When? I mean--”

”I’ve loved you for so long. I don’t even remember when it started,” she told him truthfully.

He nodded, “Same for me.”

“I never thought you could or would and I had to get away, I’m sorry for what I did--”

He pressed a finger to her lips. “Ssshhh…none of that now. It’s over. We both have things we’re sorry for, I wager. What say we set about apologizing?” He grinned.

She grinned back. “All night long?”

“All night long,” he agreed and kissed her sweetly. “I love you, Buffy, so very much.”

“I love you too, William. Make love to me now, please.”

Scooping her up in his arms, freeing her from the ground, William carried Buffy up to his bedroom, where he would love her, and where she would remain, for eternity.

********

Upon entering his bedroom, William nearly dropped Buffy when he saw the state of his room.

“Oh my God,” Buffy breathed and that did not even seem to cover it. “Put me down, William, I want to inspect.”

His eyes traveled the room as Buffy walked around it, smiling. Faith and Riley had been busy bees. The room was alight with candles on seemingly every flat surface in the room. There was a fire in his fireplace that had not seen a fire in quite some time, and there was champagne chilling in a bucket next to the bed, along with a can of whipped cream and a small bowl of strawberries. His bed had been turned down to show his black silk sheets and a note placed in the center.

Buffy seemed to have noticed it, as she came over to read it as he did. Picking it up, he read aloud, “For the lovers. I hope that this wasn’t done in error and both of you actually talked instead of being even more hardheaded than usual. If the latter happened instead of the former, then William, I suggest you try again as this was far too much work to go to waste and, try not to be too mad at us, or me rather, for trying to get you two crazy kids together by locking you in the wine cellar. Hugs and Kisses, Faith (and Riley).”

Buffy giggled. “She knows us well.”

William grinned tossing the note away, and sweeping Buffy up in his arms. “Seems she does. Still think she’s a whack job?”

Buffy nodded, “Oh yes, but she’s a whack job with good ideas.”

William laughed aloud and held her tighter. “Oh god, I love you so much,” he said huskily, burying his face in her hair.

“Mmm…I love you too, William.”

“And you won’t leave me?”

”Never.”

“Good, because mine you are, and here you stay,” he whispered and pushed her to the bed.

She fell back on it, giggling and maneuvered herself to the middle of it. Opening up her arms to him, she murmured, “Come here.”

Prowling up the bed, William tucked his tongue behind his front teeth and smirked. When he was hovering above her, he nearly wept with joy when she surrounded him with her arms and kissed him, murmuring that she loved him.

He collapsed on top of her, “I never knew,” he muttered, caressing her arm, “What it was like to be in love and to feel love.”

”And?”

“It feels fucking amazing.”

“Good,” she whispered and rolled them in a quick movement so that she was on top. Grinning down at him, she flipped his hands over his head and smirked. “You’re at my mercy now.”

”Always have been, love,” he told her.

”I rather think I’ve been at yours,” she murmured and spread her hands up under his shirt. After helping her divest him of it, she flipped his hands back up over his head. “Stay.”

He grinned, turned on even more by her take-charge display. God, he could not wait to get back inside her and feel at home again.

William groaned as she peppered kisses down his neck and across his collarbone and then down his chest, licking his nipples and suckling them. “Fuck, that feels good,” he gasped, itching to touch her.

She hummed her agreement to that, and trailed down, down, down. Making fast work of divesting him of his pants, shoes and socks, William lay there in breathless anticipation, his cock weeping for her attention. When she blew on his rock hard member, he jumped and his eyes rolled back in his head. Then she engulfed him in her heavenly mouth and all bets were off. It had been much too long…

He wasn’t going to last, he knew that much, not when she was sucking him into oblivion and seemed set on teasing his member with licks and nibbles. She seemed to have remembered all his pleasure points.

When her velvety tongue made contact with his balls and then the sensitive underside, William gasped. “Buffy please, I’m gonna—“

”I want you to,” she encouraged and sucked him hard.

He shot off in her mouth, unable to warn her but for a strangled gasp. Then she swallowed him down completely, nibbling and cleaning him off with her mouth.

Grabbing her with a growl, he hauled her on top of him and rolled them so that she was now on her back and at his mercy. He kissed her voraciously, tasting his salt on her tongue. Sneaking his hands under her top, he pushed until the offending material that kept him from her luscious skin was gone and then set to work on her breasts, pushing her bra out of the way. He needed her desperately.

She helped him get rid of the bra and he suckled, laved and worshipped her pert breasts, unable to stop touching one, while he loved another with his mouth.

“I love you,” he breathed against her and she moaned.

Next came her pants and thong, her shoes and her socks and they were off in a flurry of color before he set up camp between her thighs. Blowing air across her sex the way she did him, had her squirming, licking up her slit had her moaning, and nibbling on that tender bundle of nerves had her gasping his name. Oh, what a heavenly sound!

He licked, nibbled and suckled at her until her fingers were digging into his scalp and begging him, yes Buffy Summers was begging him, for release.

He granted it to her by lunging up her delectable body and sliding inside her. Her eyes widened and rolled up as her walls clamped down around him, squeezing him tightly. William was determined to last longer, and to make her come before he did once more.

“Will,” she gasped, nearly sobbing. “I can’t come again.”

”Oh, yes you can baby, and you will,” he promised and stroked inside her, building the tension up in her body, bending his head and suckling at her nipples, teasing her, flicking his thumb across her clit as he slid inside her slowly at first and then with urgency as he felt his orgasm start to come on. “God, you feel so fucking perfect,” he murmured as he loved her.

“Will,” she whispered and grabbed him, kissing him hard and fucking him back.

“Keep…doing…that,” he managed to get out and she met him thrust for thrust, and he rubbed her clit faster.

“Yes…yes…yes!” she hissed.

“Scream for me baby, scream my name, I want to hear you scream my name!”

Then she did, she screamed his name to the heavens and came undone, bathing his cock in her juices. Feeling her rippling around him, massaging his cock, William came inside her, bathing her cervix with his cum. They moved together still, riding out their climaxes and murmuring to one another, lost in their own world together. Both of them thinking finally.

William was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. As he lay on his back watching Buffy kiss her way down his chest, he had never been so happy in his life.

Until she took his cock in her mouth. “Buffy,” he moaned.

Her mouth felt like heaven around him. He ran his hand through her hair in a feeble attempt to reciprocate his pleasure. He was lost in her. Truth be told, he had been lost in her from the moment he had met her. But here and now, as she sucked him as far down her throat as she could, he was lost.

He was about to come when she stopped abruptly. He looked up at her. “Don’t stop,” he said desperately.

“Don’t you want me to do this?” she asked as she sunk herself down onto him.

“Fuck,” he replied. This girl was going to kill him through pleasure overload.

“Yes, William, that is what I am trying to do if you will let me,” Buffy replied as if she was talking to a small child.

“Oh baby, I will let you do what ever you want,” he grabbed her hips and started to move them both together.

“Oooh…” Now it was Buffy time to be lost. He could tell from the look in her eyes that pleasure was all that mattered to her. He felt a surge of pure male pride sweep through him, as he knew it was only him that she wanted to give it to her.

He met her thrust for thrust. He had lost count the amount of times they had been together tonight. One would think that knowing that this was just the first time of many would take away the sense of urgency, but no. They had lost time to make up for.

He could tell she was close; it was like there bodies had been tuned into each other. He reached for her clit and started rubbing it. Her immediate moans told him that she would come any second.

“Buffy.” She opened her eyes and looked into his very soul. “Come for me”

All it took was the strangled cry of his name to send him over the edge and come.

Buffy laid herself down on Williams’s chest; he stroked her hair and kissed her on the top of her head.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

William smiled to himself as he gave her the honest answer.

“Faith.” He held Buffy tighter as she tried to pull away from him.

“Let me go.” Her struggle only awakened more desire within him. “Look I know you haven’t had much experience in relationships Will, but not mentioning another girls name whilst laying naked in bed with your girlfriend, is never a good idea.”

“If you would let me finish, what I was trying to say was I that I was thinking what kind of bonus I can give Faith this year to say thank you for knocking some sense into us both.”

“Please. You mean knock some sense into you,” Buffy replied as she rolled off onto her side.

William took her in his arms and held her close. “Buffy, I am not going to fight you anymore, but you and I both know that we are both as stubborn as the other.” He looked down to see her pouting. “What’s wrong love?”

“You are never going to fight me again?” she said shyly.

He grinned and then laughed. “You are the only woman I know that enjoys having an argument.”

She laughed, “I can’t help it. You get all growly and passionate when you’re angry. Do you realize that most of the times you’ve ever kissed me have been when you’ve been angry with me?”

“Well, it was either kiss you or knock you upside the head. If I kissed you, I had more of a chance to get laid.”

He chuckled when she swiped at him playfully. Resting her head on his chest, she sighed happily. “Will?”

“Yeah, luv?”

“When did you know?”

“When did I know what?”

“That you loved me?”

“Well, I think I’ve known all along--”

“But you had to have a light bulb moment.”

He quirked a brow and peered down at her. “A light bulb moment? Never heard it described quite like that.”

She smiled up at him and kissed him quickly. “Tell me.”

“Well, again with the mentioning of Faith. Can you handle it?”

She rolled her eyes, though she smiled, “Yes.”

“It was that night we had the fight at the office. When you accused me of just thinking you were convenient. Faith wouldn’t let it go, she kept badgering me about it all night and it just…hit me. Right between the eyes.”

“I like that,” and she poked him lightly between the eyes.

“When did you know, kitten?”

“Oh…for quite a while.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Specifics?”

“I’d say around the same time. I really don’t think it was a light bulb moment, but more of a slow dawning. It just crept up on me day by day until I just knew.”

“Buffy, that night we met--”

“The first time we met?”

“Yes.”

“Like the first time we met before Angel and Dru got married?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, continue.”

“I wanted you then. I did. I know it didn’t seem like I did…you said I was all swept away or whatever, well I was. By you.”

Buffy melted and William smiled at the sight. Climbing back on top of him, straddling him, Buffy pecked kisses all over his face. “I love you,” she whispered.

Grabbing her face, he pulled her down for a deep and sensual kiss. “Mmm…I love you too.”

“Does this mean that Ella and I have to shuffle back and forth between London and here every week?”

“How about we make love again and worry about all that stuff later?” With a push, he rolled her onto her back, kissing a path down her delectable body. “I’ve got plans for you all night Miss Summers and tomorrow morning; I’ve got even more…”

~~~~~~~~~~

William awoke slowly, what little sleep he had had last night had been greatly needed he and Buffy had worn each other out. He could not remember the last time he had been so exhausted, but in the best kind of way.

As images of the night before flashed through his mind it naturally awoke his desire and unlike the past tortuous months he did not bite back his urge to ravage her. He instead did was he was able to now do freely. He reached out for her.

His hand did not feel her now all to familiar body it felt the cool sheets. He opened his eyes hoping that the empty space he was feeling was part of a bad dream. However it was not a dream, it was a nightmare.

Buffy was gone.

Buffy awoke slowly, fighting wakefulness. She smiled with her eyes still shut as memories of the night before flooded her mind.

William loved her. He’d said it. A lot. Over and over again, in many different ways – and with many different positions too! She smiled saucily and popped her eyes open, gazing at the man beside her.

She loved him so very much. It almost felt unreal, the whole thing. Twenty-four hours ago they’d been at each other’s throats; she’d been ready to leave, and felt as though her heart were being torn out with the idea that he was having an affair with Faith. Meanwhile, he’d really loved her back the whole time.

They really were thickheaded and stubborn weren’t they? Well, she thought, humming to herself, There will never be a dull moment, that’s for sure!

She wanted nothing more than to cover his body with hers, and wake him in the most sinfully delicious way possible, except she knew he was more than likely just as tired as she, and he’d been working all week to boot.

So, she’d do the next best thing, she decided as she climbed out of bed, wincing slightly at the ache in her muscles, she would make him breakfast. Sliding her clothes on quickly, she jogged down to her bedroom to change into some comfy pj’s before heading to the kitchen to prepare her man some food. And then later they could take Ella to the park and figure out what to do while he was in London…


*****

William franticly dressed as tried to piece together in his mind exactly what had happened to make Buffy leave. He had bitten back his first urge, which was to jump out of bed and run after her, but somehow he didn’t feel she would take him seriously whilst being completely nude.

Was it all payback? Was she playing some sick and twisted joke on him where his shattered heart was the punch line? He went back through the events of the previous night searching for some kind of clue to her cruelness, but only came up with love and acceptance and a rather uncomfortable hard on.

He barged through his bedroom doors and went to find himself his girl. He would make her listen, make her see that they had too much to gain from loving each other to throw it all away on the chance of getting hurt.

That realisation literally stopped him in his tracks. How had he come so far? Not six months ago he would have scoffed at the mere thought of a relationship, let alone love. And actually risking something to have it? Not a chance. His first thought was to find Drusilla and tell her. His second was how she would never know the gift of love that her death had brought him. He started searching for Buffy with a renewed vigour. There was no way his sisters sacrifice would be in vain.


********

Buffy was humming to herself and setting the tray with all of William’s favourite foods, excited to be present him with a tray of goodies. A nice leisurely breakfast was just what they needed, and maybe after, they could burn breakfast off. She had to smile devilishly at that thought.

Picking up the tray, she turned toward the door when William barrelled through, causing her to jump and nearly drop the tray.

He looked wild, as if a ghost were chasing him.

“Will?”

“Buffy, you can’t leave me.”

She stared at him. “I--”

“Because what you and I have, it’s special and it’s true and it only comes around once in a lifetime, I know, because this is it for me. I’ve never wanted anything to do with relationships and love and all that rot – but I do now, see? I do. I love you so much and I know that a lot of shit has happened between us, a lot of it needlessly, but I want to make that up to you and swear to you, from here on out, that this is real. We’re real. Don’t give up on us pet, don’t give up on me.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Did you have a bad dream or something?”

“No, I didn’t have a bad dream. You left me!” he exclaimed, frustrated.

She looked down at the tray of cooling food and then looked up at him. “Breakfast? I made breakfast. That’s why I left…I won’t ever make you breakfast again if you’re opposed to that sort of thing--”

He looked down at the tray and then up at her. “You didn’t leave me?”

“Well, I left the bed, and in essence you, but I just made breakfast for us.”

“You made breakfast for us?”

Buffy nodded slowly. “Yep, I did.”

“Pet, could you put the tray down for a minute?”

“Sure!” and she placed the tray down carefully on the nearby counter. A second later she was in William’s arms and he was kissing the breath out of her.

Oh wow, she thought as William lifted her onto the counter and proceeded to kiss his way down her neck. He stopped briefly to take off her pyjama top. It took her brain some time to realise what he was doing as it was too busy processing the pleasure he was giving her.

“William,” she tried to grab his attention. Apparently the tops of her breast of which he was peppering kisses on were doing a better job at keeping it.

“William,” she exclaimed as she grabbed his head and brought it back up to hers. She was ready with stern words about appropriate kitchen behaviour, but all reason was knocked out of her when she saw the look of pure desire in his eyes.

“I love you,” and she kissed him with all the passion within her at the same time she reached down to take his shirt off. Her need to feel his skin against hers was too great to matter about who could walk in and catch them. As they made contact a part of both of them seemed to feel at peace, as though they had been apart for too long.

Buffy’s hands made there way down his back. His skin was so smooth she cold feel every curve and muscle beneath her fingertips. She found the waistband of his pants and pulled them down.

“Please,” it was more an admission of desire than a plea. With a speed she think even shocked William, he had pushed aside her panties and entered her with a sense of urgency that only heightened her pleasure.

He took her roughly, as though channelling his earlier distress and her leaving into his thrusts. She was not scared by it; she felt powerful that she had driven him to want her this way, to claim her as his. She wanted it.

“I’m yours, William,” his thrusts increased at the sound of her voice he seemed lost in the moment, lost in her. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to him.

Their mutual orgasms crashed over them, Buffy finding release within seconds of her giving herself over him. William was so in tune with her already, he came shortly after she did, roaring her name.

“Buffy,” he gasped, gathering her in his arms and collapsing against her. He was shaking and Buffy thought perhaps now was the time to move it to the bedroom.

“Will, do you want to go upstairs now?”

He nodded dazedly and then grinned at her goofily. “I love you.”

She smiled, kissing him sweetly. “I love you too.”

********

After eating a lukewarm breakfast, Buffy and William lay together in bed, unwilling to start the day just yet even though Buffy had mentioned seeing Ella a few times in their conversation.

“Willow is looking after her I’m sure,” William told her, lazily stroking her back.

“You know how I feel about that,” Buffy replied, “She is our responsibility.”

“Buffy, I have spent months wanting to be with you like this. Loving you and just being. Can’t we have some time for ourselves?”

Buffy melted, “Yes, William. We can.”

“You know I’ve been thinking,” he said and nuzzled her neck.

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t really have to commute so much to London. I could work from here a few times a week and only spend a couple days there. The drive isn’t that far and my clients could always meet me here.”

“They wouldn’t mind?”

“Not for the work I do for them.”

Buffy beamed and lifted his head, kissing him soundly. “You can do that? Spend more time here?”

“Yes, I will be working though, luv.”

“Not all the time. You’ll still have the evening with Ella and I right?”

“Yes, and maybe a lunch too.”

“That makes me so happy, Will. Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me?” he asked, blinking at her.

“Yes, I am. I know what a work-a-holic you are and the fact that you’re willing to compromise and spend some time with your family means everything to me.”

William smiled, “I’m glad. I don’t think I’ve ever made someone happy like this before.”

“How about every time you make me happy, I show you.”

“How?”

“Oh…” she grasped his hardening cock in her hand. “I think I can find a way.”

The next few days were all about making up for lost time. Hands were unable to be kept to themselves. Giggling, laughing, hot looks, coy looks and even chasing one another were happening about the mansion. William saw the looks the staff was giving him. This was a side of their “Master” they’d never seen. A few stared, a few smiled, but the consensus was they couldn’t believe it. Mostly they thought, collectively, finally.

And William didn’t care. For once in his life, he did not care what others thought of him. He didn’t care when he leered at Buffy across the table and she flushed with desire, and they ran to one or the other’s rooms to, as Buffy had taken to calling it – hot monkey sex. William could vouch that it was hot and monkey like. That girl could twist her body in ways that would put the Kama Sutra to shame. He didn’t care that she’d tease him relentlessly until he growled at her and lunged at her, causing her to run off and in turn causing him to chase her. He felt as though he was not only making up for lost time with Buffy, but lost time on his life. Contrary to what he had ever done and been taught, work had taken a backseat to his personal life. Nothing was more important to him that having breakfast with Buffy and Ella and then making sure to meet them for lunch and dinner. And nothing could tear him away from Buffy’s kisses and the haven of her body. He found home in her.

So, after days of bliss, William was not looking forward to going to London the next day. He had to work, he was being forced to – his clients were demanding attention now that he’d had, as they put it, his “holiday”.

“Will, what’s on your mind?” Buffy asked the night before he had to go to London. They were in his bedroom, still fully clothed and just lying on his bed, chatting. That was another thing he loved doing with Buffy. He loved talking with her, hearing her thoughts on things. She was an incredibly smart woman; well versed in many things he’d once accused her of being completely ignorant of. She truly was his match in all things.

He pouted, “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.”

She smiled up at him, “I never thought I would hear those words come from your mouth.”

“What can I say? I’m a changed man. You’ve changed me.”

“Much to the dismay of your clients – and your firm.”

William shrugged and rolled onto his back. “For once in my life I have found something other than work to make me happy and let’s face it – work never made me all that happy.”

“I knew that, but I wasn’t sure if you did.”

“I knew. I was just too stubborn to admit it.”

“Knew that too,” she giggled.

He looked over at her with a mock glare and then smiled. “Come closer. Don’t you know I’ve become completely addicted to having you in my arms?”

Buffy smiled happily and scooted over, resting her head on his chest, draping an arm across his middle while William combed her long hair between his fingers.

“You’re coming, right?” he asked her, afraid she’d say she had a yoga class she had to attend and wouldn’t be able to.

“I’m there.”

“Good,” he whispered. “We won’t be as free there. Tighter quarters.”

“Yeah, the stadium sized living room is what I call tight quarters.”

William chuckled. “You know what I mean. We’ve got Willow and Ella closer by…”

“I know.”

“And you’re sharing a room with me.”

Buffy looked up at him, “That so?”

“You know it woman,” he growled.

“Awww, I just brought out the caveman in you.”

“Me want woman now. Me want Buffy,” and he tackled her to the bed, craving home once more.

****

“Call Mr. Morrow and tell him that the case has been adjourned for another week, also can you send a memo to Miss Rogers regarding the same case?”

William was in no mood for small talk. His long hours at work were in the past. Gone were the eighteen hour days, he couldn’t do that anymore. He had a family to get home to. Family, a word, concept --- the thing he never thought he would have. And now that he had it, he never wanted to let it go.

Buffy and Ella had been staying with them for the start of the week but today they had gone back to the estate, and even thought it had been hours since he had seen her, it felt like days.

“Also, call Faith and see if we can move up today’s meeting to noon,” he opened his office door and the sight before him caused him to reshuffle his day.

Buffy, sitting on his desk, in his duster.

“Cancel all appointments for the rest of the day,” he said as he shut the door.

“I just wanted to say a quick goodbye before we left for the estate,” Buffy explained as he made his way toward her. He became more aroused at each step--this was not going to be quick anything.

“Really?” he asked as he placed his hands on the lapel of the duster and opened it to reveal what she was wearing underneath.

Very little.

“No, not really,” she said as he pulled the duster off and lifted her onto the desk. She squealed as the cool oak hit the back of her legs. He swept all the things from it as he laid her down.

He peppered kisses down her chest unclasping the black and red lace bra as he went. Bra gone, he took her nipple in his mouth. It hardened instantly and he couldn’t help but smile. In the short time they had been together their bodies had learnt how to please each other in a way he had never experienced before.

Buffy reached down and started to unbuckle his belt. William pulled back and started to take off his tie and shirt. Buffy sat up and stilled his hands.

“Don’t,” she commanded and her look almost undid him then and there. Desire, mischief and most of all, love.

He kissed her as his hand traveled down her body and he pulled the material of her panties aside.

“So wet already,” he murmured. The time for restraint was over as he ripped them from her body.

“Well, I have wanted to do this from the first moment I stepped foot in this office.”

“That would have been a nice way to meet you.”

“Yeah a nice hello.” Buffy moaned as he entered her.

“Well, I had better make this a nice goodbye.”

She felt like heaven surrounding him; never felt anything like it ever. His thrusts were slow; trying to tease her, but her hands grabbed his hips and pulled him close.

“No time for games William, I want you now.” That did it, really. He increased his pace, her moans of pleasure spurring him to go faster. As the moans increased in volume, he remembered that he was in his office, his non sound proofed office.

“Love, you need to be quiet.” But she paid no attention, he could feel she was close and as he felt her start to come he silenced her with a kiss.

A few moments later he came and wished he had remembered his own advice as he called her name.

“Great William, now everyone will know,” Buffy giggled as William didn’t move from on top of her.

“They’ll get over it. At least it’s better than the normal yelling the hear everyday.”

Epilogue

“So, it’s been a while since we have talked.” William sat down in between the head stones of Dru and Angel. He often passed them on his morning jog, but in the past two years since their death, his visits to them had become less frequent.

“I guess today with the wedding it’s got me thinking how much my life has changed since your wedding.” He did often think about how his life had changed. Changed the minute that Buffy Summers entered his office. It was as though he’d stepped onto a roller coaster and had yet to get off it. Gone was his gray life replaced by one filled with color, laughter and love. In short, he had a life.

“Your death brought me life,” he wiped the tears away as he spoke. “A sacrifice I try to live up to everyday.”

“Ella is doing great. Two-and-a-half turning twenty. Such a little Miss and she never stops talking. Don’t know where she gets that from.”

William couldn’t believe how fast she had grown up. One minute she was a baby, the next she was running around and asking all kinds of questions.

“She doesn’t call me dad or Buffy, mom. We both spoke about it. Didn’t feel right, you are her parents. She calls me Spike much too my protesting, somehow William was too hard but I think it might have more to do with Buffy’s bad influence.”

Watching Buffy raise their niece had been one of the greatest joys he had experienced. He loved her, as a woman in her own right, how could he not? But seeing the love and attention she gave Ella had only made him love her more.

“You two are in our thoughts everyday,” he continued, “And when Ella is old enough to start understanding, she is going to learn all about you.” Wiping away more tears, William fought to get hold of himself. Taking a deep breath, he started again. “Angel, I have something to ask you…”

********

“Do I look all right? Is my face blotchy? Is the makeup okay?”

Buffy stared at Faith, wide-eyed. Never had she pictured tough as nails Faith being a girly girl and worrying over her makeup. Course, she never expected Faith to be the type to settle down and get married either.

“You look beautiful, Faith,” Buffy assured her.

Faith visibly relaxed at that. “Thank you. You look beautiful too. William is going to freak when he sees you in that little number.”

Buffy smiled, “Thanks.” She had to admit, Faith could be classy when she set her mind to it, not only was her wedding gown gorgeous, with a simple satin bodice flowing into a full skirt, but she chose well on her bridesmaids and maid of honor dresses as well. Which in actuality was the same dress. She’d chosen periwinkle as the color, and the dresses were simple “very Jane Austen” is how Buffy described them. Buffy loved them, she loved the bow at the back, the accentuating bodice, and the slight train it had.

“The music is starting and I have to go and take my place as your maid of honor. You ready?” Buffy asked, holding Faith’s hands in her own.

Faith smiled. “Yup, I am ready to become Mrs. Riley Finn.”

********

Tears blurred William’s vision as he watched Buffy walk down the aisle holding Ella’s hand. They were to him perfection, his salvation—they’d saved him from his lonely life, and all the things he had done before this moment no longer mattered. It all became so clear to him. His life, love, everything was walking towards him.

The ceremony itself was a blur to him. Like a conversation at the table next to him. He knew what they were saying but his focus was on Buffy and Ella.

Family.

Wasn’t it what Drusilla had spoken about the day she was married? How Buffy was to become a part of their family that day. In the back of his mind he knew that his heart was hers then. He had given it unknowingly that day on the dance floor.

The dance floor.

He knew the ceremony had finished when he heard the applause and saw Faith and Riley kissing. He saw the love and passion between them, he had seen it with Angel and Dru and the day they had married. He did not scoff or envy them. He had experienced the same. He held out his arm for Buffy to take and felt the electricity between them as she entwined her arm in his. He placed a small kiss on her nose before they turned and walked down the aisle.

*********

Doing their wedding duties was turning out to be a pain. At least for William. He wasn’t much to ‘strike a pose’, so taking pictures for the Finn’s wedding album was turning into a headache.

“Honey, smile,” Buffy admonished him lightly, wrapping her arms around him.

“I don’t want to smile. I want to eat and get something to drink and…”

“And?”

“And be alone with you for a little bit. Is that too much to ask?”

She giggled at how sad and pathetic he sounded in his request, like a sad little boy.

“Soon, baby, soon,” she promised him. “Could be worse, you could be paired up with someone you don’t know. At least it’s me, right?”

He had to agree with that. “Right, though I don’t get exactly why I ended up being the best man. His buddy there, Forest, Trees, whatever his name is, he was giving me some dirty looks.”

Buffy laughed. “You know how Riley is. He thinks since he met Faith in your house if he didn’t make you the best man, it’d be bad karma.”

“Just between you and me, Princess, he’s a dork.”

“I will second that!”

“And now I want Ella, Buffy and William in a picture…” the photographer was saying.

William sighed. “Gotta strike another pose.”

“Aww, but just think how adorable this one will be with the three of us!” Buffy said, heading over to where Willow was entertaining Ella.

In the end, Ella did not want to pose and so William ended up holding her as she babbled at the photographer, pointing at him.

“That’s right, Ella, you tell the mean man how this is cruel and unusual punishment,” William encouraged.

“Behave,” Buffy admonished him lightly, “We’re almost done. Say cheese, William!”

He smiled broadly for the camera, unable to deny his girl anything. He could just imagine the picture they made and when it was finally all over, William requested the photographer to send him a copy of that particular photo.

“Now we eat and drink,” Buffy told him, sliding her arm through his after he handed Ella off to Willow.

“Alone time first?”

“Not yet, but soon.”

***

Soon turned into two hours later.

Whoever said weddings were romantic and intimate had surely never been to one. William had tried to whisk Buffy away on several occasions, but as maid of honor she had spent most of the afternoon fiddling about making sure that Faith was all right. Falling short of picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder, he had no chance of getting her alone.

“William,” Buffy plopped down on the chair next to him. “Having a good time?”

“Not really,” he mumbled under his breath.

“I heard that mister, what’s the problem? The food not nice, champagne not the right vintage?” he could see the mocking in her eyes.

“No,” he reached for her and pulled her into his lap. “Seeing you all day looking so ravishing and not being able to, well ravish you, is driving me crazy,” he didn’t try to hide his want of her. “Dance with me,” it wasn’t so much of a request more like a point of fact. He knew what he wanted to do, what his heart had yearned for from the first moment they danced at Dru and Angels wedding.

Her.

Only her.

He should have felt more nervous, isn’t that what most men felt before they proposed? A fear of rejection, leaving their own life behind, losing their freedom. And as he looked into Buffy’s eyes as they moved on the dance floor, he saw no fear in them, only love. He felt the same in his heart.

No fear, only love.

He knelt down on one knee and for a moment Buffy thought he had dropped something.

“William what…” the words died on her lips as she fit all the pieces together and the world stopped spinning around them. Well, at least the people on the dance floor stopped dancing and watched.

“Buffy,” his voice clogged with emotion. “I love you; have since that moment on the dance floor all those years ago. You taught me that there is more to life than existing, that there is life and love. That’s what it’s about. I want to love and to live with you for the rest of my life. Please, will you marry me?” So caught up in the moment he hadn’t felt the tears fall from his eyes.

“Yes,” Buffy pulled him up into her arms. She kissed him. “Yes, I will marry you William.”

Holding her tightly to him, William laughed out of nerves and joy. “Can I be alone with you now?”

Buffy laughed, “Yeah,” she said, pulling back and cupping his face in her hands. “I think that’s possible.”

The crowd around them applauded and Faith’s voice was heard teasingly shouting over the din, “You’re stealing my thunder!”

Grabbing William’s hand, Buffy looked up at him and grinned mischievously, “Make a break for it?”

He smiled broadly, “Oh yes.” And off they ran, fleeing the wedding and the applause that followed them as they ran out into the yard heading for the house. A slight rain started to fall and they laughed together on their way in the house. William swept Buffy up in his arms as soon as they were inside and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom, feeling young and in love and blessed.

The End