Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was hard enough to swallow that the events of the last few hours had actually taken place!

Earlier that evening she had been supposedly on patrol with Spike trying to track down the responsible party for the massacre on the train. She hadn’t even taken notice to the fact that he had ditched his usual ensemble of black for a much more becoming outfit that looked like it had come straight from a J. Crew catalog. Becoming? No, becoming was not the word for it. It was just different, but she didn’t find it appealing in anyway! Instead of finding the vampire the had ripped the throats out of every single person on the train, she had ended up running off what had to have been two of the most pathetic vampires she had ever seen. These guys actually made Harmony look reasonably intelligent.

After their hasty departure, she had finally come to the realization that she had been set up. Spike had managed to find these fledglings holed up in an abandon warehouse and used them simply as an excuse to get her alone. Of course, Spike wasted no time proving what she had thought was just Dawn’s teenage romantic fantasy!

He had actually told her he was in love with her! How could she have missed it!? Granted, she’d been preoccupied with protecting Dawn from Glory and her mother’s illness, but that was no excuse! She was the Slayer, the Chosen One. She couldn’t afford to let things go unnoticed! Now all the pieces were coming together. Helping the Scoobies, letting her cry on his shoulder when she heard just how bad her mom’s health really was, helping the victims at the Bronze after Olaf’s rampage, showing her Riley’s little blood-sucking get away, what had she been thinking? That he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart?! Goodness was one quality Spike didn’t possess!

Buffy had pondered these thoughts over and over after she had stormed out of the warehouse. She had walked the dark streets of Sunnydale for a good two hours, not really patrolling, but she wouldn’t have minded taking on a herd of vampires at that point. She wouldn’t have minded alphabetizing Giles entire library, if it meant getting her mind off that infuriating blond vampire!

Of all nights for the Hellmouth to decide to take a vacation! Finally, she had decided to head home. She knew there was no way she was going to get to sleep, but it beat roaming about the streets all night, her mind too preoccupied to notice if anything did actually sneak up on her.

Buffy approached the house slowly, her eyes scanning the shadows for any signs of Spike lurking about her house. His usual spot by the tree just outside of her window was vacant. For a vampire over a century old, his lurking skills did leave a bit much to be desired. How many times had she looked out the window to see him just standing there or left for class only to find her yard littered with cigarette butts?

She sprinted up the stairs hoping to get to the door and safely inside before he would have a chance to jump out from his hiding place had she managed to miss him. She apparently had developed a gift for missing the glaringly obvious, so it would have been no surprise if she had missed him lying in wait in some gloomy corner.

She spotted a light flickering through the sheer curtains of the living room. Apparently, either her mom or Dawn or both had decided to wait up for her. The only light she could see through the window was the wavering light emitted by the television. If she were lucky, they had fallen asleep by this late hour, and she could sneak by unnoticed to the safety of her room.

She wanted to talk to someone about this, but her mother and Dawn were out of the question. Her mother already had enough to worry about with being sick. She didn’t need to worry about her oldest daughter fending off the unwanted advances of a neutered vampire. Dawn, on the other hand, she already had such a crush on Spike. She would have probably leaded his cheering section! There was only one person she could really talk to at this point, and hopefully she’d be awake and willing to come over. That was a rather foolish thought. After all the nightly missions the Scoobies had been through, Willow would probably be shocked to receive a call from her with a request as simple as ‘I need someone to talk to!’

Buffy entered the house as quickly and quietly as she could. The hinges of the front door, normally silent during the day, squeaked deafeningly—at least to her ears. She walked slowly towards the stairs hoping she wouldn’t encounter any squeaky floorboards along her path. There were only the muffled sounds of the television coming from the living room to disturb the late night peace of the house, but so far no questioning voices to greet her arrival. Softly she placed her foot on the first step. She was home free…

“Buffy?” Dawn’s questioning voice floated through the doorway leading to the living room. Instantly, Buffy’s heart sunk. It was long past Dawn’s bedtime, and it was a school night. Why couldn’t she ever listen to the rules like a normal teenager? Okay, staying up past your bedtime and not listening to the rules was a part of being a normal teenager. Buffy should have known that better than anyone.

“What are you doing still up?” Buffy asked tossing her jacket over the banister and entering the living room to join Dawn who was sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket from her bed.

“Did you find them?” Dawn asked her eyelids at half-mast. She was obviously fighting to stay awake, but Buffy knew it would do no good to tell her to head to bed.

“No,” Buffy sighed flopping down into the closest chair. “Wrong vamps. Didn’t even get a chance to dust them.”

Dawn observed her sister. She was being extremely quiet, and she was getting the distinct impression that it wasn’t just because Mom was upstairs sleeping. She was sitting there staring down at her hands, which were clenched so tightly in her lap that her knuckles were turning white. Something more had happened while her sister was out. The fact that she wasn’t going on her usual tirade after spending time with Spike lead Dawn to believe it had everything to do with him.

“What’s wrong, Buffy?” she asked knowing it wasn’t going to be that easy, but her sister hadn’t ordered her to bed yet. Clearly she wanted to talk to someone, and at the moment she was the only someone in the near vicinity.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Buffy replied too quickly to be telling the truth.

“It’s about Spike isn’t it?” Buffy’s head snapped up at these words. Dawn fell panic start to churn in the pit of her stomach. “He’s not hurt, is he?”

“No,” Buffy answered rolling her eyes in frustration. “I couldn’t be that lucky!”

“Buffy, what happened?” Dawn demanded. Her sister was really starting to worry her. She’d always been tightlipped about the slaying thing around her—mom’s orders, but she could sense that this had to do with something more than just a night of frolicking in the cemetery dusting evil bad guys. Dawn knew Spike had something to do with her foul mood just from her tone of voice, and the fact that he hadn’t accompanied Buffy home. She’d never let Buffy know, but she had heard them bickering on the porch in the wee hours of the morning after returning from patrol. Slowly, the pieces were coming together and starting to make sense. Dawn had known she had been right about him all along. Had he finally admitted it? Of course, he had! She hadn’t thought much of it, other than he had looked incredibly hot, when he had shown up at the house to pick Buffy up for patrol. What other reason was there for the new clothes, the changed hairstyle, and now Buffy’s rotten mood?

“Nothing happened,” Buffy insisted getting up from the chair and heading for the kitchen. She had seen the smirk on Dawn’s face. She’d already figured it out. Sometimes she really hated those monks! This would have been an excellent time to be an only child!

“It’s not nothing!” Dawn cried as she followed her to the kitchen. “Tell me what he did!”

Buffy propped the phone receiver on her shoulder, and turned to face Dawn who was leaning on the counter expectantly. “He didn’t do anything, and you should be in bed!”

“Who are you calling?” Dawn decided to try another line of questioning.

“Willow, if you must know,” she told her sister curtly and began to dial. Then added as it began to ring on the other end, “Now go to bed.”

Dawn rolled her eyes at that comment and gave her big sis a sly grin. “I’m not going anywhere until you fill me in on what you and Spike did this evening.”

Buffy paced off the kitchen for about the fifth time in fifteen minutes. Dawn and Willow were both sitting at the kitchen table nursing cups of cocoa minus the marshmallows. Apparently Spike had managed to finish the last of them during his last visit. Even when he wasn’t there he was a pain in her ass one way or another!

Willow rolled her eyes as the Slayer made her next lap past her chair. Buffy had been very cryptic over the phone, but she had sounded almost frantic so Willow had left a note for Tara and came straight over to the Summers’ home. From the ranting Buffy had done when she couldn’t find any marshmallows for the cocoa, she was fairly sure Spike was the reason that the Slayer was so upset. Now if she would just tell her what was wrong, it would be a step in the right direction. It was nice to have a girls’ night out and all that, but Willow did have class in the morning. She’d never been late for something as important as school in her life, and it would throw her entire day out of whack if she missed the beginning of her philosophy lecture. You never knew what might be on the test!

“Buffy could you be stationary for just a few minutes?” Willow broke the silence. “I’m starting to get motion sickness!”

“I’m sorry, Will,” Buffy answered stopping behind Dawn’s chair. Her fingers grasped the edge of it tightly, and Willow wondered between her stress and her Slayer strength how long it would be before the chair began to splinter. “I’m just keyed up. I can’t believe this happened! That man…that vamp…”

“You mean Spike?” Willow asked helpfully.

“Yes, Spike,” Buffy nearly cried, but caught herself. Joyce was still asleep, and she hoped to keep it that way. It was bad enough she couldn’t get the pest AKA Dawn to go to bed.

“What did he do this time?” This was quickly getting frustrating. Buffy wanted to talk, and now Willow was lucky if she could get her friend to talk in more than two word sentences!

“What did he do!” Buffy repeated tossing her blond mane over her shoulder with an angry snap.

“Well, yeah,” Willow muttered taking another sip of her quickly cooling cocoa.

“I’ll tell you what he did,” she answered through clenched teeth as she resumed her course about the kitchen. “That undead pain in my—butt,” she changed the last word when her next lap around the kitchen had her looking in Dawn’s direction. She had enough problems without receiving a lecture in the morning about using curse words in front of her little sister. “He said he’s in love with me!” Willow gagged on her last swallow of cocoa at that statement. She had to place a hand over her lips to keep from spraying the kitchen table with the liquid. “Our entire patrol was nothing but a set up! We sat in that stupid clunker he calls a car for over an hour, and then when we found the vampires they were nothing but two losers who couldn’t have been more than a week old! Lord, I was on a date with him, and I didn’t even know it! How gross is that?”

Will waited a minute before she spoke, not quite sure if Buffy was finished with her latest rant or not. “Well, he’s not that bad…” she stopped short when Buffy glared at her. “I…I mean ew! Definitely, ew! But come on, Buffy, you must have miss understood! Did he actually say ‘I love you’? I mean maybe he meant you know, ‘like a friend’ or something like that?”

“Well, he didn’t actually say it. I stopped him before he could actually get the entire sentence out, but he was going to! Come on, Will. He even told me he dreams about me! Just thinking what we might have been doing in those dreams makes me want to take a scalding shower!” Buffy collapsed onto the closest chair. Apparently now that things were out in the open she could manage to stay stationary.

“Well,” Willow paused a minute to think. She really didn’t want to say the wrong thing. If Buffy got upset again, they were going to have to spend another half hour watching her do laps about the kitchen again. “Didn’t you suspect anything? This couldn’t have just happened overnight. Spike’s not just going to wake up one morning, and boom, he’s in love with the Slayer…”

“No, I didn’t have a clue,” Buffy claimed.

“Oh, come on,” Dawn interrupted. “You had to know! You just didn’t want to admit it!”

Willow cocked an eyebrow giving Buffy that looked that said ‘Good point’ without having to say a word. Buffy shifted uneasily on her chair. Okay, so there had been signs, which she had chosen to ignore, but that wasn’t the point! What happened to bashing Spike? She had this nasty, blood-sucking demon claiming to be in love with her! It really didn’t matter how or when it happened! They could at least mention a few more ‘how could he’s’ or ‘that’s disgusting’s’!

“Okay, maybe I did overlook a few things…Okay, a bunch of things,” she added after she saw Dawn open her mouth to add her two cents. She’d already been over the events of the past couple of months in her mind about a thousand times. She really didn’t want to go over them again! “But that’s not the point, Will. He’s a vampire!”

“Angel was a vampire,” Willow added quietly stating the obvious.

“He was different,” Buffy cried complete forgetting about Joyce trying to sleep upstairs. “He had a soul. He wasn’t a killer!”

“Spike has a chip,” Willow shot back, “and he hasn’t killed anybody in a while.”

“There’s a big difference between a soul and a chip, Will,” Buffy stood up and began to pace again. Willow thought she kind of looked like a lawyer preparing to address a jury. In a way, she supposed they were the jury, and Buffy was going to convince them why she couldn’t and/or shouldn’t fall for Spike. “What happens when he manages to get the chip out? He’ll go right back to killing…”

“Kind of like Angelus did?” Willow asked sadly remembering her pet fish.

“That was different.”

“How?” Dawn shot her sister a glare. They had managed to keep her fairly safe from Angelus, but she remembered how he had tortured Buffy. She walked through the house jumping at the site of her own shadow. From what information she had managed to get from the Scoobies, Angelus made anything Spike had done look rather friendly.

Buffy returned the glare, but remained silent, unable to really think of a suitable reply. Finally, another thought came to mind, “He broke Riley and I up! Probably because of this stupid crush!”

Willow rolled her eyes. How had she known that was going to come into the conversation? She loved Xander with all her heart, but she had to admit that she thought his little lecture to Buffy right before Riley had left was really out of line. “Now, don’t go blaming the messenger,” Willow said sternly. “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t Spike’s fault that Riley was jealous…”

“Jealous?!” Buffy cried, but Willow continued before she could continue her denial.

“Yes, jealous! He was jealous of your strength, and he nearly got himself killed when he refused to see that doctor. Then to say you were ignoring him! Your mother was having brain surgery for Christ’s sake! So he decides that it’s because you have this hang up on Angel, and lets some vamp suck on him. If Spike hadn’t told you about it, you would have found out eventually. Probably when he either was dead or turned into a vamp!”

“Okay, Will,” Buffy interrupted raising her arms in defeat. “You’re right about Riley. He definitely wasn’t my perfect match, but Spike isn’t either!”

“How do you know?” Dawn asked. “You never gave him a chance.”

“She’s right Buffy,” Will agreed. “You really should at least go talk to him.”

Buffy sighed. They were right. She hated to say it, but they were. She had been pretty harsh with him, but it’s not every day your mortal enemy decides to tell you he was in love with you! He didn’t have a chance, but after all he’d done for her family, he at least deserved to be let down easy.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him,” Buffy replied. “But to let him down easy,” she added noting Dawn’s hopeful look. “I’m not in love with him.”

Buffy walked quickly to the back door. She wanted to get this episode of her life over with as quickly as possible. She turned around so quickly, she missed Will and Dawn’s smiles, and Dawn mouth the words, “Sure, she doesn’t.” across the table.

Once again Buffy found herself roaming the dark streets of Sunnydale. Twice already, she had stopped and turned towards home. Both times she had forced herself to return to her trek towards the cemetery. Hiding at home wasn’t going to do any good. Will was right at least on one thing; she had to set Spike straight and the sooner the better.

There wasn’t anything between them—a working relationship at best. There couldn’t be anything more! Sure, he was reasonably attractive. Not dark and moody like Angel, and the Billy Idol meets Sid Vicious look was a bit dated, but she had to admit for being over a hundred years old, he had kept himself in incredible shape. He had the most piercing blue eyes, and the accent when he wasn’t telling someone to “sod off” was rather appealing. She could almost picture the timid poet he had been before he had the misfortune to run into Drusilla. The type of guy her mom would have loved to see her bring home to meet the family. He had probably been kind and doting when it came to the woman he chose to share his affection, not the macho type, and feeling like less of a man simply because she was the Slayer. She doubted he would ever think of cheating on her.

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks, the street light above shrouding her in a hazy yellow spotlight. God, what had she just been thinking!? She was going to Spike’s crypt to tell him he had no chance. She could never love him, and here she was strolling down the street all but singing his praises, and the thoughts about his body! She should be slapped! Obviously, she must have lost her mind! Where was Xander when you needed a good Spike insult! He would have kept her on track!

Sure he was cute, but anybody could be cute. That didn’t mean she felt anything for him! Dracula had been more than passingly attractive, that didn’t mean she had wanted to fly of to Transylvania and set up castle keeping!

She had to get this over with as quickly as possible. She was obviously tired. Why else all these crazy thoughts about that annoying vampire! She resumed walking towards the cemetery. Her pace was a little quicker. The faster she got there the less time she would have to come up with anymore traitorous thoughts about him! She wanted him gone from her life for good. The best move would have been if he left Sunnydale all together, but Buffy couldn’t afford to let him do that at the moment. She really didn’t know what she was going to say to him. What do you say when a bloodthirsty demon declares his undying love for you? She couldn’t let him get to her—like he always managed to do. She couldn’t be too harsh. Spike had to know that he was being delusional about his feelings for her, but she couldn’t upset him enough that he did actually leave town. As much as she hated to admit it, at least in one way she did need him. Other than herself, he was the only one who stood any chance against Glory. If something happened to her, she needed to know that someone would be there to protect Dawn. The Scoobies would step in without hesitation, but they weren’t going to be a match for Glory.

So caught up in her thoughts, she found that she had already reached Spike’s crypt. She played with the thought of possibly making another lap around the cemetery. It wouldn’t hurt! You never knew when a vampire might rise out of the grave. Maybe she should just make one last check before she went inside.

“Grow up, Buffy,” she whispered to herself. It was ridiculous that she felt this nervous! She’d never had any trouble talking to him before. Of course, on those other occasions the discussions usually were followed by them exchanging blows. None of their other conversations had started out with the phrase, ‘I know you love me but…”

She raised her small fist to the door of the crypt and knocked softly. When no answer came she very nearly turned and went home, but then forced herself to knock again, a little harder this time. She waited patiently for him to respond, but still no sound came from the crypt. Maybe he wasn’t even in there. Where else would he have gone? Willy’s seemed like the obvious place, but since word had gotten around the demon community about Spike helping the Slayer, he wasn’t exactly welcome there. Finally, she pushed the door open and entered the crypt with out an invitation—pretty much like she always did. Just because he claimed to love her did mean he was going to get any special treatment from her.

The only light in the crypt was coming from the television that Spike had managed to scrounge from somewhere. She could see the top of his blond head over the back of his raggedy chair. He hadn’t even made a move to see who had entered, making her hope that he might be asleep. Slowly, she crept to the side of the chair being careful where she stepped. She’d been in there enough times to know where everything was, but it had always been fairly well lit, and she didn’t know what Spike might have done after she had left him at the warehouse.

The sight of him when she rounded the corner of the chair made her breath catch in her throat. In his lap he held a half full bottle of Jack Daniels, which she could only hope had been his first for the evening. It was going to be hard enough to talk to him about this, but it would be impossible to talk to an intoxicated Spike about anything! The bottle had her concerned, but it wasn’t that which had made her stop short. He was still wearing the tan khakis he had been wearing earlier that evening. They were loose and baggy making his slender waist look even slimmer. The thing that caught and held her gaze was the fact that those pants were the only thing he was wearing as he sat there with his eyes glued to the TV screen. His muscular chest was bare and she could see the fine lines of his stomach muscles, which had only been hinted at through the black t-shirts he always wore. He kept his eyes glued to the television, refusing to acknowledge her presence. He knew she was there, even though he was pretending she wasn’t, and probably fully aware of how her eyes were locked to a point slightly below the chin. He was probably enjoying letting her stand there, staring at him half-naked. Buffy felt like she was silently being told ‘see what you could have had’.

“Spike,” she managed to utter and then cleared her throat. He voice was came out much more raspy than it should have been. “Spike,” she repeated louder when he still refused to look up from the television.

Slowly Spike rolled his eyes up so he could see the Slayer, apparently deciding that moving his head wasn’t worth the effort. Seeing who it was, he sighed as he brought the bottle of liquor to his lips taking a large swallow of the amber colored liquid and returned his eyes to the screen.

“Oh, look,” Spike said sarcastically, “the Slayer must feel like slumming.”

A sneer came to his lips as he took yet another swallow from the bottle. Well, she had been right on the fact that this wasn’t going to be easy. The sound of his voice brought her eyes up from his chest to search his face. The only emotion she could see was anger on his features. What else had she could she expect? Seeing him like this, so cold and angry, refusing to even look at her she felt sorry what she had said at the warehouse. She hadn’t been wrong, but she shouldn’t have been so bitchy about it.

“Spike, please, we need to talk,” Buffy pleaded.

“Not really interested in talking tonight, Slayer,” Spike replied. “I’ve got this extremely interesting show to watch.”

“Spike, it’s a Cher infomercial!” Buffy side stepped so that she was between him and the screen. He didn’t want to discuss what had happened anymore than she did, but they were going to have to talk it out whether they liked it or not.

“So? Just because she’s selling something doesn’t mean that she’s not interesting!” Spike declared nudging her thigh with his foot, hoping she’d get the hint and move out of the way, or better yet just leave altogether.

“Look, Spike, we need to talk,” she replied. “I’m not leaving until we get things straightened out.”

He took another sip of the whiskey, and slowly his eyes traveled up the length of her body finally coming to a stop at her eyes. “I think you’ve said what needs to be said,” he informed her bitterly. “If I need any more abuse, I’ll just head on down to Willy’s and let the patrons taunt me a little about lowering myself to helping you! Now, if you don’t mind,” he added giving her another nudge with his foot, “I am trying to watch my show!”

“Yes, I do mind, Spike,” Buffy shot back angrily, shoving his foot away. “I didn’t come all the way down here for nothing! You’re going to listen to me!”

“Listen to you!” Spike roared jumping out of the chair. His bottle hit the floor and shattered with a large crash making her jump in surprise. His hands caught her upper arms in a viselike grip. Setting her off balance, her body fell against his. A shudder went through her body when she felt his hard body pressed against hers. She could feel his hot breath on his face and smell the musky scent of the whiskey. Vaguely, she wondered about the breath, considering he had no reason to breath, but the thought of what had urged his long dead lungs into action made her shudder all the more.

“Yes, you’re going to listen to me,” she whispered through clenched teeth, trying vainly to shrug her arms from his grip.

“Like you listened to me, Slayer?” he hissed back. “I pour my heart out to you, and what do you do!? Cut me off and walk out on me! Usually, when a man tells a woman he loves her, he expects a little more than being treated like a dog!”

“You’re not a man,” she reminded him her breath coming in short gasps from her exertion to free herself.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean my feelings are any less real!”

“I don’t love you, Spike,” she cried. “I can’t…”

“Sure,” he replied a sad smile on his lips. “Spike’s a great guy when you need something, but keep you’re distance! He’s not worthy of anything so pristine as Buffy Summers’ affection!”

Buffy lowered her eyes. This was not going anywhere near the way it should. She did need him, he was right about that. She needed his help to protect Dawn, and she was blowing it. The way this was progressing, she’d be lucky if he ever spoke to her again, and for some reason that bothered her.

“Spike, I,” she paused trying to think which wasn’t easy with him so close. “I’m sorry. I…I overreacted. I was shocked. You in love with me…”

“You were shocked,” Spike laughed dryly. “How do you think I felt? Me! The Big Bad! My only desire for three years was to see you dead! Then I woke up one day to realize I had fallen in love with my mortal enemy! No shock there!”

Her eyes flew back to his. What could she say? “Spike, I…”

Her sentence was cut short as he crushed his lips to hers. A cry of alarm rose in her throat at the feel of his hard, cold lips pressed against hers. She pushed against his unyielding chest, her entire body trembling at the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips.

Her eyes fluttered shut as the kiss deepened and she moaned softly as his tongue flickered against her lips. This couldn’t be happening, her mind screamed, but her body was no longer listening. Her knees began to buckle, and if it weren’t for his hands on her arms holding her up she would have fallen to a trembling puddle at his feet. All too soon, the assault on her lips was over. Her eyes flickered open to find his face only a breath away from her own, his piercing blue eyes scanning her face.

“Tell me, you don’t feel anything,” he demanded softly against her lips.

It took a moment for the words to register in her hazy mind. Oh, she had felt something all right, but she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t allow this to happen!

“I…I…” Buffy stuttered.

The words just didn’t want to come to her lips. She had to tell him now, or she’d be lost! Suddenly, she jerked herself away from his body. Her hand flew to her bruised lips. Her movement so unexpected, Spike made no attempt to stop her from moving. She stared at him, breathing heavily, and not wanting to believe the kiss had actually happened. She cringed as a knowing smile came to his lips.

“No,” she finally managed to gasp. “I didn’t feel anything!”

The smile didn’t fade as he replied, obviously taking great pleasure in the moment. “You’re lying, pet.”

“I am not!” she denied. This conversation was over, and even if it wasn’t, it needed to be. She quickly made her way to the door. She paused with her hand on the door at the sound of his voice behind her.

“That’s alright, luv,” he said softly. “Now, I know differently. It’s only a matter of time until you know it too.”

Buffy almost wished she had stayed home. Not that she could stand another minute of sitting in her room replaying her confrontation with Spike in her mind! She had arrived just home just before sunrise. This time luck had been with her, and everyone had been asleep. Even if her sister had been awake, there was no way she was going to tell Dawn that she had kissed Spike, and she had enjoyed it!

So she had enjoyed it! No matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, she had. It didn’t mean anything! If anything, it simply meant that he was a good kisser. He’d had like a hundred and twenty-five years to perfect his technique. That was all it was! There hadn’t been anything emotional involved. It was purely physical. Or so she had tried to convince herself all day! She had finally managed to lie down for a fitful few hours of sleep about the time Dawn woke up for school. Surprisingly, her sister had not bound in the room demanding details of what had happened, and instead headed off straight for school. Her mother hadn’t bothered to wake her either, leading Buffy to think that Dawn had taken care of filling her in. She had managed to miss all her classes, but that really didn’t matter. At this point, her semester was shot. She had probably missed more classes than she had actually managed to attend!

Now, she was sitting in the Bronze, a huge, fake smile plastered to her lips. She felt on edge, expecting Spike to show up at her side at any moment. That made her even angrier at the vamp. They had planned this evening out all week. With everything that was going on, all of them, not just Buffy, needed a night to just pretend to be your normal, everyday twenty-somethings. He had managed to set her world into chaos, maybe even more so than Glory, but she wasn’t going to let him ruin her one evening!

“So, what shall we do first?” Xander asked cheerfully, bringing Buffy’s attention back to the table. “A game of pool, an order of wings, a little dancing? An evening free of dusty old books, and I feel like a kid in a candy shop!”

“I for one, think I would enjoy a dance with my favorite girl,” Willow announced entwining her fingers with Tara’s and giving her hand a squeeze.

Buffy watched the pair leave giving them a smile as they passed. It had been weird to see them together at first, but she was glad to see her friend so happy. They had been through so much and she felt so responsible for putting them into such danger. She couldn’t help but be glad that Willow had found someone to be happy with, even though it also reminded her of how alone she was now. The feel of a hand on her shoulder interrupted Buffy’s thoughts. By the scowl that Xander shot just over her shoulder she knew exactly who it was that stood behind her. It was bad enough that he had been running through her mind all day, but was it too much to ask that he couldn’t give her one night to herself?

“Great,” Xander grumbled, “return of the living dead. I told you Buffy, if you’re nice to them, they’ll just follow you home.”

Xander didn’t know how right his comment was! She hadn’t even really been nice to Spike, and yet he still wouldn’t leave her alone! She sat stone still refusing to turn around and look at him, even when his fingers slowly began to massage her collarbone. From the questioning look on Xander’s face, she could tell that he hadn’t missed Spike’s actions and was very confused why she let him continue. How she wanted to say something, knock his hand away, or better yet just stake him on the spot! She couldn’t do anything! She was sure Spike was just waiting for her to act, and he wouldn’t hesitate to bring up the events of there last meeting! It would be hard enough to explain why she had allowed him to touch her. There was no way she’d be able to casually explain away their kiss!

“I’m not following anyone,” Spike replied. “It’s a public place. Perhaps, I’m the one being followed.” He gave Buffy’s shoulder a squeeze to emphasis his last comment.

“Now, wouldn’t that make for a fun evening,” Xander growled. “Maybe later we can follow you back to your crypt for a late night screening of Passions. Come on Anya. I think they’re playing our song.”

“I didn’t know we had a song,” Anya protested as Xander grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the table.

Buffy waited a few moments to be sure her friends had made it to the dance floor before she dared to look over her shoulder at the vampire behind her. He gazed down into her eyes intently, a smug smile on his lips. He had reverted back to his customary black ensemble. Apparently, his encounter with the world of fashion had been a one-night event.

“You’re looking quite provocative tonight, pet,” he teased as his eyes ran slowly over her body taking in the light, floral print dress that she had now wished she hadn’t chosen to wear.

“Get your hand off me, Spike,” she hissed.

“A little touchy tonight, are we?” he chuckled softly, but did remove his hand from her skin. “Perhaps it’s all that sexual tension you’ve been keeping locked up so tight.”

She glared at him as he took the chair next to her that Tara had recently vacated. He was leaning in far too close to her. She was dying to shove him away, but she couldn’t afford to provoke him now. After they dealt with Glory’s threat, she was going to do a lot more than shove him!

“Get away from me!” Buffy warned him slowly putting added stress on each word.

Spike gave her another of his infuriating smiles, but made no attempt to move. “If you want me to leave, Slayer, why don’t you put your hands on my tight, little bod and make me.”

She could only stare at him in shock after that comment. He must have to practice to be this infuriating! He was way too good at getting under her skin for it only to be a gift. Why did he have to pick her to be the focus of his torment?! Well, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much he was succeeding. “Spike…”

“What’s wrong, luv?” he sighed. “Don’t trust yourself? You know you want it.”

“For the last time, Spike,” Buffy replied her voice rising in spite of herself. “The only feelings I have for you are disgust and loathing.”

“You didn’t feel that way last night,” he reminded her. “I wasn’t the only one who found it quite enjoyable.”

“Shut up, Spike!” ‘Good come back, Buffy!’ she thought. Why was she sitting here listening to this? It wasn’t like anyone would suspect a thing if she just got up and walked away. “That was a mistake, and it will not happen again!”

“So you feel nothing?” Spike asked finally getting the hint.

“Less than nothing,” Buffy agreed.

“Then prove it,” Spike stood up and extended his hand to her. “Dance with me.”

She glared at his hand like it was a snake poised to strike. He was never going to give up. More than ever she wanted to get up and walk away, but now with him standing just in front of her, if she made a move to stand, she’d ended up pressed against his body yet again. She couldn’t do that again!

“Come on, Slayer,” he taunted. “Prove to me that you don’t want me. Can’t do it, eh? Just the thought of my arms around you makes you nervous, doesn’t it?”

“Not in the least!” she denied grabbing his hand tightly. She felt a tinge of satisfaction when he winced at the strength of her grip.

She forced her gaze to focus on his shoulder as he led her to the middle of the dance floor and took her into his arms. She knew the Scoobies were watching them shock covering their faces. She was feeling too anxious to face them, and she knew better than to look Spike in the face. She couldn’t stand the thought of him looking down at her with triumph in his eyes. His shoulder seemed the safest place to look. She cursed her self when her body trembled at the feel of his hands settling at the base of his spine.

She laid her hands lightly on his shoulders enjoying the feeling of the play of his muscles just below his skin, and fought the urge to entwine her arms about his neck. He was already holding her tight against him. She was already trembling from the intimate contact, and she didn’t have to help him prove his point.

“It’s not that bad is it?” she felt his lips brush her ear as he spoke.

“Spike, please,” she whispered turning her head to face him.

“Please what, luv?” he whispered back. His lips were barely touching hers. “Kiss you?”

“Spike,” her denial was cut short as he crushed his lips to hers. Her heart fluttered as the kiss deepened, and against her will her hands rose to entwine her fingers in his short blond hair. The world dropped away until there was nothing but the feel of his lips caressing hers. It was so wrong, but she didn’t want him to stop.

“Buffy?” The sound of Xander’s voice from just over Spike’s shoulder brought her back to reality. Quickly, her hands found his chest, and gave him a sharp push away from her. He stood there looking quite happy with himself. She could see her friends just behind him. All of them shocked, except for Willow who actually was smiling approvingly.

What had she done? She couldn’t believe she had allowed him to kiss her again, and this time they all knew! There was going to be no way she could explain this to them. Taking one last glance at Spike, she did the only thing she could think of. She turned and ran for the door.

For the second time in as many days, Buffy found herself strolling the streets of Sunnydale and approaching home dreading that someone might be up when she returned. How had she let things get so out of hand? She should have never have listened to Willow, and she most definitely should not have gone to Spike’s crypt. If she would have just went to bed, she could have gotten up in the morning and pretended that Spike had never said he loved her! She pictured the faces of the Scoobies when they had seen her kissing Spike. They were sure to be at the Magick Shop in the morning when she arrived to train. How was she going to explain this one away? She was reasonably sure they weren’t going to buy that she tripped, and her lips just happened to land right smack on his!

God, she was doomed! There was no way she was going to explain this one away! Why had she done it in the first place? It wasn’t like she was just as strong as he was. She could have easily pushed him away, but she hadn’t. She had actually pulled him closer! She had to be losing her mind. She couldn’t actually feel something for that vampire!

She kicked off her shoes as she closed the door behind her. There was a light still on in the kitchen. Did her family ever sleep? With a sigh, she slowly made her way into the kitchen. She’d much rather not do this, but she was going to have to explain her actions at some point, and she may as well get it over with!

Her mother looked up as she entered. She really should have been in bed. She needed her rest, but Buffy couldn’t help feeling relief at the fact that it wasn’t Dawn waiting up for her. At least her mom would be objective, and not looking at the situation through the prejudice of a teenage crush!

“Mom, what are you doing up?” Buffy asked softly as she took a seat in the chair across the table from Joyce.

“Oh,” Joyce sighed. “I woke up, and I just couldn’t stand laying in the bed a minute longer.”

“Mom,” Buffy’s voice filled with concern as she covered her mother’s hand with one of her own. “You need your rest.”

“I think I’ve had enough rest to last me a life time, Buffy.” Joyce took a sip of the mug cocoa she had sitting on the table before her. It seemed to be the drink of choice in the Summers’ household since Spike had decided to intrude on their lives. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you.”

Buffy dreaded the sound of that last sentence. Buffy had spent most of the day in bed before she had headed off to the Bronze. Lord only knew what stories Dawn had been passing on to their mother while she wasn’t around to defend herself.

“About what, mom?” Buffy asked trying to sound as innocent as she could, and failing miserably.

“Spike,” Joyce answered simply. “What’s going on, Buffy?”

“Nothing!” Buffy cried. God, why couldn’t her sister keep her mouth shut?! “Really mom! He’s just being his normal, ultra annoying self, but nothing’s going on! What did Dawn tell you?”

“Nothing, honey. Spike stopped by earlier this evening…”

“Spike was here?” Buffy eyed her mother suspiciously. “What was he doing here?”

“He just stopped by to chat. He was upset and needed someone to talk to.”

She’d just bet that Spike had needed someone to talk to, and she was sure that she knew exactly what the topic of conversation was about. Wasn’t it just convenient that it was her mother who he chose for a little heart to heart?! More and more she wished that she had brought Mr. Pointy with her to the Bronze. He had asked the loaded question about why she hadn’t staked him yet. Well, she was more than ready to do it now.

“God,” Buffy let go of her mother’s hand and clenched both hands into tight fists on the table. “I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up here! Isn’t tormenting me enough for him? I can’t believe he would dare bug my sick mother!”

“Buffy, calm down! He didn’t bother me! It was nice to have some company after lying around this house for days,” Joyce said softly, hoping that her even tone might calm her daughter down. “He was too tormented himself to torment me.”

“Tormented?” Buffy eyed her mother suspiciously. What did Spike have to be tormented about! He should be ecstatic! He was just swimming in his element—making the Slayer’s life a living hell!

“Buffy, he really cares for you…”

“Cares for me!” God, he’d gotten to her mom too! “Do you hear what you’re saying mom!? This is Spike! William the Bloody! A few months ago, he wanted to swim in my blood!”

“That was a few months ago,” Joyce repeated. “He’s changed, Buffy. Even you have to admit that!”

Buffy sighed. Yes, his tone had changed. He was actually helping her, but that didn’t mean he was now a different person! Why was everyone suddenly nominating Spike for sainthood!?

“He’s a vampire, mom!”

“Angel was a vampire!” Why did everyone have to remind her of that fact? Hadn’t that excuse been worn out yet?

“Angel was different!” Buffy objected. “He has a soul!”

Joyce took another sip of cocoa. She was going to have to take this slow. She had known that when Spike had shown up earlier that evening mooning over her daughter. She had to admit that she wasn’t wild about her daughter being involved with another vampire, but it was obvious Spike cared for Buffy a great deal. Her daughter had been miserable since Riley left. She deserved to be happy, and Spike had convinced her that he was more than willing to try. Besides, with the threat of Glory looming over their heads, the last thing they needed was a Slayer moping around about a lost love or running away from a new one!

“And what’s to say that Spike doesn’t? He hasn’t killed anyone in over a year,” she suggested.

“That’s because of the chip. He doesn’t have a soul!”

“Who’s to say he doesn’t, honey? It’s not like you wear a soul around your neck where everyone can see it. Either way, soul or not, he has changed, and you wouldn’t be so worried about what he does if you didn’t feel something.”

“I do not feel a thing for that…that…” Buffy couldn’t think of a word bad enough to call him. She was so frustrated.

“Buffy…”

“No mom,” Buffy said with a finality that signified the conversation was over. “I don’t. I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go to bed now.”

Buffy’s heart sank as she entered the Magick Shop. As expected, the entire gang was seated around the table waiting for her. Even Giles was there. How was she going to explain to him that she had fallen for another vamp? Fallen for his tricks, of course, not that she had literally fallen for Spike! The expression on Giles’ face was sad as she approached the group. At least, she could count on her watcher to set her straight.

“Hi, guys,” she said cheerfully. It was too much to ask that they’d just let it pass, but she wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up.

“Please tell me you’re hung over!” Xander was the first of the Scoobies to speak.

“What?” Buffy asked surprised at his outburst.

“You kissed Spike,” he explained. “You must have been drunk!”

“Xander,” Willow glared across the table. “We were going to give Buffy a chance to explain.”

Buffy sighed in frustration. Apparently, her social life had been the topic of the morning rather than looking for a way to defeat Glory. She couldn’t blame them, she hadn’t really been giving the Glory problem her full attention the last few days either.

“Willow’s right. Now is not the time to attack Buffy,” Giles agreed, ever the voice of reason. “She very well may have had a very good reason for what she did. You do, don’t you?”

“I don’t know, Giles,” she answered refusing to meet his gaze. “Spike told me he loved me. So I went to his crypt to tell him he was insane, and it just happened. Now every time I turn around he’s there.”

“Spike thinks he’s in love,” Giles repeated thoughtfully to himself, “with the Slayer, quite unorthodox.”

“Wait a minute! Last night wasn’t the first time you kissed him?” Xander asked as the pieces slowly came together.

“Well, I for one think it’s romantic.”

“What?” Xander spun in his chair to give Anya a shocked look. “He’s stalking Buffy and forcing himself on her!”

“He showed up at a public place, that isn’t really stalking,” Anya tried to rationalize. “Besides, it really didn’t look like he had to force her to kiss him.”

“Guys,” Willow cut in, “Buffy’s not on trial here. Maybe she might care for him. That’s not a crime.”

“Will, it’s Spike! He’s a vampire, remember?” Xander objected.

“So, Oz was a werewolf.” Buffy could see Tara cringe when Willow mentioned Oz’s name, but she was thankful that she hadn’t brought up Angel yet again! “And Anya was a vengeance demon. It’s not like we’ve cornered the market on normal relationships.”

“I think the question is,” Giles spoke up ending the debate, “do you feel something for him, Buffy?”

She wished they could go back to the debate. Normally, she would have been annoyed that they were talking about her like she wasn’t in the room, but it was better than having their eyes all focused on her expecting her to answer a question she hadn’t managed to answer yet for herself.

“I…I…”she shifted about uncomfortably. What could she say? She was supposed to hate him, but every time he was around she felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach. They fought constantly, but she actually enjoyed it. She couldn’t tell them that! “It really doesn’t matter what I feel…”

“Yes, it does, Buffy,” Willow said with concern. “There’s more to your life than taking care of your family and slaying demons…”

“Not right now Will,” Buffy responded sadly. “Right now I can’t afford to forget that I’m the Slayer, and I most definitely don’t have the time to take part in this little soap opera that Spike has concocted. Now, if you need me, I’ll be training.”

Buffy kicked the punching bag with all her might. Picturing it as Spike made her work out more intense. Somehow, the thought of Spike had always made her want to hit something! Spike, a motivator for violence, why wasn’t that surprising?

She sighed as she gave up on her training and leaned her sweaty forehead against the bag. She had hoped that a little exercise would help her get her mind off him, and instead she only thought of him more! Xander thought Spike was stalking her, and she had become even more obsessed with him. She wasn’t physically following him around, but her thoughts were always with him. She couldn’t go on like this! She was putting everyone in danger when she didn’t concentrate on protecting them from Glory!

“Damn you, Spike,” she growled at the empty room as her fist slammed into the punching bad one last time nearly pulling it lose from the cable connecting it to the ceiling.

“Love you too, pet.” The sound of a voice behind her made her whip around to face the door at the back of the training room, which led out to the alley. It was slightly ajar, and there was Spike standing right next to it. How long had he been there? He had just proven her point! So engrossed with thoughts of him, she hadn’t even heard the door open. He was even smoking one of his foul smelling cigarettes, and she hadn’t even been aware of the odor in the room! What if it had been Glory or one of her minions instead of Spike? She would have been done for!

“What are you doing here?” she demanded angrily.

“Just a little visit, sweet,” he answered flicking his cigarette out the door, and then crossed the distance between them. Why did he have to be so close when they spoke? “I see you’ve been thinking of me. All happy thoughts, I hope?”

She clenched her fingers into fists at her sides at the sight of his smug smile. “Sorry, not a one.”

“Ah, but you have been thinking of me. That’s a step in the right direction,” he informed her. “Perhaps, we could make some happy thoughts for you.”

With that he took her into his arms, and once again, Buffy could feel the butterflies returning. Was it really asking him to keep his hands to himself? She needed to tell him to back off. That was nearly impossible when he pressed his lips to hers, his hand lightly cupping her breast. His hand was where? She really was slipping. She was so busy enjoying the feel of his lips; she hadn’t even noticed his hand grazing up her rib cage until his fingers were already pressed against the flesh covered by the sports bra she had been wearing for her work out. She was berating herself mentally, but for some reason she had yet to tell him to get his hands off her.

Instead of pushing him away, her traitorous hands were doing some exploring of their own. Her right had settled at the base of his neck urging his lips closer to hers, while her left slid down the smooth leather of his duster to clench…Oh God, did she really have her hand on his…She refused to think about it. Her mind was already heading for a complete shut down, and thoughts of what she felt under the soft leather he wore would definitely put her over the edge!

A sigh escaped her lips, as his left hers to travel lightly down her cheek to the base of her neck. She tilted her head back to allow him full access, but at the feel of his teeth lightly nipping at her collarbone, her eyes snapped open. What was she doing? What was she letting him do?!

“Stop.” She felt the anger rising at the softness of her voice. This was not the time to be meek and mild! She was the Slayer, and neither word was a fitting description. “Spike, stop,” she repeated this time more firmly.

“What?” he looked down at her, his gaze still hazy, but quickly clearing up at her unfortunate return to reality. “What’s wrong, pet? Don’t tell me you don’t want to. Even a blind man could see that you do.”

“It’s not that, Spike,” she told him, having to make an effort to pull herself from his arms. “It’s not a matter of what I want. It’s that I can’t.”

“So you’re saying you do want me?” he asked hopefully.

“You’re not making this any easier.” She refused to give him an answer.

“I love you, and I know that you feel something, but yet you refuse to admit it! Why should I make this easy for you?”

She could hear the anger rising in his voice. This couldn’t end up in another fight. She had to put an end to it once and for all. Not argue with him, and yet again give him some sense of false hope that they would ever be together!

“Please, Spike,” she couldn’t believe she was pleading with him. “I don’t hate you, can’t that be enough?”

“No, Slayer, it bloody can’t be enough!” he growled.

“I can’t do this now,” she told him. “You know I can’t. I need to protect Dawn, take care of my mother, and I can deal with you and concentrate on them at the same time.”

“You love me, Slayer,” he said what she was trying so hard not to. “You don’t deal with that! It just happens.”

“And if I’m so wound up with you, that I let my guard down and Dawn gets hurt?”

“You know I would never let that happen, pet,” he grazed her cheekbone with his fingertips. “I care about the niblet too.”

“I know you do,” she told him softly, “but can’t you see I can’t take that chance?”

“What happened to Buffy Summers, I knew? The one who didn’t shy away from a challenge?”

“This is my family Spike, I can’t go off all out of control when their safety is being threatened.” Why couldn’t he understand? She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but she did feel something for him, but with the way things were now, she couldn’t afford to act on her feelings. She had to keep her mind focused at all times.

“All, I see Summers, is that you’re being extremely unfair—to both of us,” he told her softly. “I’ll be there when you’re ready, but I’m not going to stay here and beg.”

With that, he turned to the door and was gone before she could utter another word. She had finally managed to get her point across, and, although in a rather roundabout method, she had even admitted that she did care about him. So why did she suddenly feel so miserable?

Spike paced his crypt restlessly. He had been so close! What went wrong? She wanted him just as much as he wanted her that much had been blatantly obvious! If it hadn’t been for this Glory bitch, she would have said the words he so wanted to hear, he was sure of it! He couldn’t fault her for wanting to protect her sister. He had become rather fond of the little bint himself, but it wasn’t fair to either of them that she was cutting herself off from the rest of the world!

“Spike?” a soft voice brought a halt to his pacing.

“Buffy?” he spun to face the door, his face hopeful. “Niblet, what are you doing here?”

Dawn shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously. If Buffy knew she was visiting Spike’s crypt again, big sis would have her head, but what Buffy didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her! Buffy had stormed into the house when she returned from training at the Magick Shop. It was impossible to miss the fact that she was extremely upset. She had ignored their mom when she had asked her daughter what was wrong. Instead, she had stomped up the stairs to her room and slammed the door behind her.

Her sister had had another run in with Spike, Dawn was sure of it. She had waited until she was sure that her mother had gone to bed and left the house, and then headed off to see Spike. She knew it was a bad idea to roam around Sunnydale on her own, you never knew where Glory’s minions might be lurking, but she wasn’t going to get any answers from Buffy. At least, Spike didn’t treat her like a baby and would give her a straight answer.

“What happened, Spike?” she asked ignoring his question. She really didn’t want to listen to a lecture about going out alone and putting herself in danger.

“What do you mean? Nothing happened.” Spike eyed Dawn suspiciously. Buffy really was going to stake him when she found out about baby sis’s little midnight stroll. Just what he needed, yet another reason for the Slayer to despise him.

“Buffy was completely wigged out when she got home,” Dawn informed him. “She didn’t even bother to patrol. Only one thing gets to her that badly, and that’s you.”

So he’d managed to upset the Slayer. Fat load of good that did him. He’d had his fill of having her angry with him. What he wanted was a totally different emotion. One he was never going to see. “As I already told you, nothing happened.” Well, a little more than nothing had happened, but he was sure Joyce wouldn’t appreciate him telling her fifteen-year-old daughter the more intimate details of their encounter in the training room. “Same old story, Niblet, I love her, Slayer runs away.”

“And you didn’t run after her?”

Spike’s lips curled into a sad smile at that comment. How many times had he tried in the last week alone, only to be shot down? Whoever said persistence pays off was wrong in this case! “I think that this runner is out of the race.”

“Spike, she loves you,” Dawn objected. “You can’t just give up! She’s just scared to admit it!”

“I know,” Spike agreed. “She all but admitted that tonight, but she has her reasons, and I may not like the end result, but they are good reasons.”

What possible reason could Buffy have left? They had already shot the whole vampire and a soul thing out of the water. Joyce liked him, the Scoobies liked him—well, maybe not Xander so much—even Giles, while not wild about the idea, had grudgingly approved! What possible excuse could she have left? Dawn’s eyes widened as the realization hit her. Buffy’s reason was her! She’d managed to come up with the perfect excuse. Spike would never stand in Buffy’s way when protecting the Key. Well, Spike might be willing to roll over and play dead, but she was going to have a word or two with her sister when she got home! She didn’t kick Riley out on his ear when she found out her sister was this big mystical Key thingy, and now she was trying to convince Spike she couldn’t get involved with someone because of her duty to protect her sister. Well, if Buffy wanted to hurt Spike, she could leave her out of it!

“Come on, Spike, you can’t just throw in the towel because Buffy is being an idiot!” she insisted.

“She’s not being an idiot,” Spike shook his head sadly. “You and your mom are the most important people in her life. She doesn’t need a monster like me around to worry about.”

“You’re not a monster…”

“Oh, but he is,” a voice so soft it was like it floated through the air interrupted Dawn. “A beautifully, evil monster, aren’t you, my dearest William?”

Spike could only stare over Dawn’s shoulder at the figure standing just inside the door. It just couldn’t be, not after all this time. He had to be having a vision, and yet he knew that he wasn’t. “Dru?” he asked when he finally managed to find his voice.

“Yes, it’s me,” came the response as a set of hands came down on Dawn’s shoulders. The slender fingers clenched so tight, she felt like a tiny animal clenched in the talons of a bird of prey.

“What are you doing back in Sunnydale?” Spike asked calmly, but Dawn could see a look of fear in his eyes when Drusilla came to a stop behind her.

“Had a little run in with daddy,” Dru answered. “Well, it wasn’t daddy, but it wasn’t that hateful Angel either.”

“So you decided that Spike would be willing to take care of you?”

“It hurt so badly,” Dru whined like a child. “I only wanted to see my darling Spike again.” Dru lowered her eyes to study Dawn and lightly ran her fingers over the girl’s hair. “And who is this little morsel?”

“No one important,” Spike said hoping to draw his sire’s attention away from the Slayer’s sister long enough for her to escape.

“Not important,” Dru repeated still stroking Dawn’s chestnut hair. “Why she’s positively glowing. Twinkling like a little star fallen from the heavens just for me. I am so terribly hungry, Spike.”

Dawn trembled at Drusilla’s words. She didn’t know which scared her more. The fact that Dru could see the Key, or that she wanted to make her into a midnight snack! Okay, the latter was a tad bit more important, but when being held in the clutches of an insane killer, you don’t tend to think straight!

“But if you eat her, she will no longer sparkle, and all the stars in heaven will cry,” Spike told her. It had been so long since he had to deal with her insanity, he hoped he could convince her to let Dawn go. “Perhaps we could find a lovely little meal at the Bronze.”

Dru looked down at Dawn sadly not wanting to let go of her little star. “You’re right,” she replied finally releasing the girl and walking to Spike’s waiting arms. “So many tears would extinguish all the heavens, but my little star must come back for tea and meet Miss Edith. She’s never seen a star up close.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dawn muttered breathlessly, backing towards the door.

“I’m sure she will, luv,” Spike told her, “but right now, she really needs to go home.”

Dawn sprinted up the stairs of the porch, running into the closed front door as she looked over her shoulder. She knew Spike was keeping Drusilla occupied, but she was thoroughly convinced the vampire was lurking in the shadows behind her waiting to pounce at any moment. She didn’t know a lot about Spike’s ex other than what she had managed to overhear. Buffy had managed to keep her little sister fairly well shielded from her work when Drusilla had been a resident of Sunnydale. All Dawn really knew was that she was a vampire, and she was insane, which made her dangerous enough.

It was bad enough she had returned to Sunnydale. It was definitely going to put a kink in her plan to get Buffy and Spike together, but that by far was the least of her worries now. Somehow, Dru had been able to see that she was the Key. Apparently, in her warped consciousness she imagined Dawn to be one of her beloved stars rather than a device geared to bring about the end of the universe, but that didn’t mean she was safe. What if by some twist of fate, Glory and Dru happened to run into each other? All it would take would be for Dru to start babbling on about her little star fallen to Earth, and it wouldn’t take Glory more than a few seconds to fit the pieces together!

“Buffy!” she screamed out when her trembling fingers managed to get the door open. She ran headlong up the stairs hoping that Spike had upset her sister enough that she was still in her bedroom sulking.

The door to Buffy’s room swung open only seconds after Dawn called out. She didn’t think about why her sister might have her jacket on or why the front door was wide open, meaning her little sister had been out wandering the streets alone again. All she heard was the terror in Dawn’s voice as she ran up the stairs towards her. Buffy’s eyes scanned what she could see of the house and what she could see outside the door, expecting Glory to burst in at any moment.

“Dawn, what’s wrong?” Buffy asked still looking about for Glory when Dawn came to a stop in front of her.

Dawn’s cheeks were flushed from her run and it took her a moment to catch her breath before she could speak. “She’s back…” she finally managed to gasp out.

Buffy looked at Dawn in confusion. With the way Dawn had screamed she had expected Glory to burst in just behind her, and yet that never happened. Now someone had come back? Who was she talking about, and just what did she think she was doing going out in the middle of the night by herself anyway!? She was going to ask her just that when Dawn continued her story.

“I went over to Spike’s…”

“You were where?” Buffy demanded. The vampire’s name momentarily making Buffy forget the importance of finding out just who was back in Sunnydale. “I told you to stay away from there, Dawn! What were you thinking! Sneaking out in the middle of the night to hang out with a vampire!”

“Buffy, that’s not important right now!” Dawn interrupted. “Drusilla is back!”

“Dru?” Buffy rolled her eyes. Just what she needed an insane vampire causing her trouble while she was trying to deal with an insane Glory. Although, having Dru around might do her a favor. Surely, with her back in town, Spike would forget having any interest in her, and she wouldn’t have to worry about him showing up where she least expected it! That should have made her happy, but for some reason it didn’t. “Dawn, Drusilla’s dangerous, but I think she’s the least of our worries right now. I want you to stay away from…”

“Buffy, she knows,” Dawn stated simply.

“Knows what?” she asked confused, but part of her already knew the answer to that question and prayed that Dawn would tell her anything but that.

“She knows I’m the Key,” Dawn confirmed Buffy’s suspicions. “I don’t know what happened. She was talking to Spike, and then she turned to me and got this funny look in her eye. She told me I was all shiny, and that I was a star fallen to Earth.”

Dru and her stars, the thought made Buffy roll her eyes. At least, they had a little time. She couldn’t see Spike giving away Dawn’s secret. Well, she hoped he wouldn’t. Drusilla was his first love, one that lasted for over a hundred years. Spike probably wouldn’t need too much urging to answer her questions and make her happy. At least, the fact that she thought the Key was one of her beloved stars would buy her some time. She was going to go over there and stake them both once in for all. Spike was going to be included in this one. She should have just taken care of it when she had had the chance. Sure, he had tried to help protect Dawn, but after the events of the last few days, Buffy wasn’t even sure if he hadn’t done that simply to impress her, and now it really didn’t make a difference. He might have a chip in his head that kept him from hurting people, but that didn’t mean he still couldn’t put them in danger.

“Buffy, where are you going?” Dawn asked when her sister didn’t respond to her last statement, and instead walked past her down the stairs and headed for the door.

“To kill a couple of vampires,” Buffy replied not bothering to look over her shoulder.

“Buffy, you can’t kill Spike!” Dawn cried.

“He put you in danger,” Buffy hesitated at the door.

“He didn’t do anything to me,” Dawn argued. “He got Dru to leave me alone, so I could get out of the crypt.”

Buffy looked over her shoulder at Dawn. There was a determined look on her face, but it didn’t cover up the look of sadness in her eyes. “I’m sorry Dawn. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have been in danger in the first place. This isn’t going to take long,” she added slipping her jacket over her shoulders and checking to make sure Mr. Pointy was in her pocket. “Whatever you do, stay put for the rest of the night!”

With that, Dawn watched Buffy turn and walk out the door. She couldn’t believe that Buffy would really kill Spike. It wasn’t his fault that Dru had decided to show up in Sunnydale, and it wasn’t his fault that she had decided to sneak out of the house that night and visit his crypt at the same time Dru had decided to pay him a visit. Surely, Buffy could see that it wasn’t his fault! Dawn remembered the look on her sister’s face when she had left. Ignoring the last order Buffy had given her, Dawn quickly made her way down the stairs and followed in the direction that the Slayer had taken. She didn’t know what she could do to stop Buffy, but there was no way she could let her kill Spike! She’d definitely regret it in the morning!

Buffy stalked up to Spike’s crypt, but then stopped just before flinging the door open with all the force she could muster. She stood in the chilly air looking thoughtfully at the entrance to his lair. Could she do it? Only a few hours before she had been in his arms wanting more. She couldn’t deny it. There was something there, something she could simply not acknowledge. She was the Slayer, and she had already made the mistake of giving her heart to one vampire, and look where that had gotten her. She had to do it for Dawn’s sake. Spike was the only other person who stood a chance against Glory, but he had also put Dawn in danger. She couldn’t concentrate on defeating Glory, if she was constantly worried that Dawn might be with Spike facing whatever danger might follow him. She was sure that he would do his best to protect her, but what if his best wasn’t good enough. She had to do it for Dawn’s sake.

The decision made, Buffy flung the door open with all her might. The interior of the crypt was dark as usual, and it took her a moment to make out Spike’s form standing next to the stone tomb that he used for a bed. He didn’t make a move as the door swung open, almost as if he had been expecting her little visit, and why shouldn’t he be expecting her? He had just allowed Drusilla to threaten her little sister. It was a given that she would be the next arrival at his crypt.

“Where is she, Spike?” she demanded from the doorway.

“You shouldn’t be here, Slayer,” Spike replied. He still hadn’t moved. He had to know why she was there, and knew better to get closer to her. She wouldn’t hesitate to sink her stake deep into that unbeating heart of his—not this time.

“Why not, Spike? Am I interrupting something?” Buffy asked as sweetly as she could muster considering how much the words hurt. She couldn’t lose her resolve, but the possibility that she really was interrupting something hurt just as much if not more than when Angel had said he was leaving. She’d run off her fair share of men, but she’d never had them run off on their own for another woman! The fact that the other woman was an insane vampire like Drusilla made the cut even deeper!

“Really, Buffy,” Spike pleaded, “you shouldn’t be here. Couldn’t we discuss this tomorrow?”

Buffy rolled her eyes in frustration. He might not be a man, but he was typical. Drusilla had to be in there somewhere, and he didn’t want Buffy to cause a scene! He’d just have his fun with Dru this evening, and then tell her that it was all some big mistake! Well, it wasn’t going to be that way this time! He’d managed to break her heart—wait, no—he’d put Dawn in danger, and this time he was going to pay for it!

“No, Spike, we can’t discuss anything tomorrow. I know Drusilla’s back, and she knows about Dawn,” Buffy all but screamed back at him. Why was she explaining this all to him? He knew exactly why she was there! She was just wasting time standing there telling him the story of what happened when he had been there to witness everything first hand! Knowing he was only trying to stall her, she stepped into the crypt. He wasn’t just going to hand Drusilla over. So she’d just have to find her on her own!

No sooner had Buffy crossed the threshold of the crypt she felt a sharp pain shoot through her neck and through her body. She started to collapse, the floor rushing up to meet her. Her hand lost its grip on Mr. Pointy and it roiled away into the darkness of the crypt. She felt a tight grip wrap around her middle just before she was able to make impact with the stone floor. She could feel the darkness of unconsciousness converging on her brain and fought against it. Slowly, like a drunk on an all out bender, her head lolled back on her shoulders, and she could see it was Drusilla who held her up, one arm wrapped about the Slayer’s waist, and the other held the stun gun that had caused pain Buffy had felt shooting through her body.

Dru’s eye’s glimmered with success. How could she have been so stupid? Hadn’t she thought that Spike was trying to get rid of her to protect Drusilla, so she walked right into the trap! Buffy tried to struggle against the vampire’s steel like grasp, but found that her muscles weren’t responding.

“Look, my William,” Dru said in her sing-songy voice, “I’ve caught myself a Slayer! Now what ever shall we do with her?”

Buffy waited for the words that would damn her. She prayed that Spike would do something to save her, at least for Dawn’s sake, but she knew that he wouldn’t. This was his Dru, he wouldn’t do anything to displease her! Buffy waited for the damning words that would lead to the piercing pain of her throat being torn to bits, but for some reason they never came. Buffy had read that when you were about to die things seemed to move in slow motion. Surely, that was what was happening now! Spike had already told Drusilla to kill her. It was just taking forever to register in her mind!

“Let her go, Dru,” Spike said careful as if he were afraid that any sudden phrase or movement might unleash the beast that was hidden just below the surface.

“Let her go?” Dru repeated her tone filled with disbelief and disappointment. “It’s that chip. It’s all in your head, my darling. Do it! Do it now, and your curse will be over!”

Buffy felt her body being flung across the crypt. She almost felt thankful to land in Spike’s arms, but knew that it was hopeless. It didn’t matter who held her prone body. She was going to die. Spike had always wanted the chip out or at least a way to deactivate it, and now apparently, somehow Drusilla had given him a way to do just that.

Buffy looked up at Spike’s face as she fell into his arms. What was it that she saw in his face as he gazed down at her? Defeat? Sorrow? No, she was seeing victory. She was about to become a legend for future Slayers—never love your enemy…It had finally come. His one good day!

“No!” Buffy heard the scream as if it came from miles away. Someone else had entered the crypt. From her prone position in Spike’s arms she couldn’t see who the new arrival was, but she knew it was Dawn before she was able to roll her head over Spike’s arm to observe her sister rushing through the door only to be caught up in Drusilla’s arms as she set foot into the crypt.

“Oh, look, Spike,” Drusilla laughed as Dawn struggled against her embrace, “my star has returned to me.”

“Spike, please,” Buffy begged her voice coming out no more than a whisper.

Spike looked down at the Slayer in his arms. His look almost sorrowful as he dropped her to the dusty stone floor and took a step towards Drusilla. Buffy forced herself to roll over with what little strength she had left. That effort drained her beyond belief, but she had to protect Dawn somehow!

“Now, Dru,” Spike began as he slowly advanced on the two. Buffy thought she could see something in his hand hidden just behind the leather duster, but she couldn’t make out what it might be. “We have the Slayer. Your star can wait.”

Dru looked at Spike as if considering. Buffy didn’t know what Spike was up to. His words seemed to confuse Dru, but it still inferred the demise of the Slayer. She didn’t want to die, but if it meant that it would somehow ensure Dawn’s safety… Then again, it didn’t really mean that they wouldn’t kill Dawn after they finished with her. Buffy fought to rise from her position on the floor. She could feel her strength slowly returning to her, but there was no way she would be strong enough to stop Drusilla before she sunk her fangs into Dawn’s neck, especially with Spike standing between them to block her way.

“Come, Dru,” Spike crooned sweetly. “She’s my gift to you.”

Dru’s eyes flickered to the Slayer’s body considering. She had tasted a Slayer’s blood once. How wonderful it had tasted as she had slurped it from her Childe’s finger. How Spike must love her to offer her such a prize! She looked down at Dawn’s face sweetly. “This will only take a moment,” she told the child as she cast her aside and slowly made her way past Spike slowly as if relishing every step. Spike watched her progress, not daring to move as Dru passed him.

Slowly Dru leaned over Buffy as the Slayer managed to struggle into a sitting position her hands sluggishly raising as if she would be able to push the vampire away. Buffy closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe this was going to be the way it ended, at the hands of Dru of all vampires! Of all the vampires that could have destroyed her, there was such an irony that it would be this, utterly insane vampire that would bring about her end!

Buffy readied herself for the piercing pain of Drusilla’s fangs as Dru’s face faded away leaving only that but the image of the demon within her. Buffy cringed with her eyes shut, but the pain never came. Instead a piercing scream assaulted her ears. As the scream faded away, Buffy dared to open her eyes and looked towards the spot where Drusilla had been looming above her. Instead of seeing the demon’s face only inches away from hers, she could see Spike smiling down at her, Mr. Pointy in hand, and a pile of dust at his feet.

“What?” Buffy asked tentively her mind having a hard time processing what had just happened.

“It’s over, Buffy,” Spike said softly reaching down to take Buffy’s hand and helping her to her still wobbly feet. Buffy looked about the room for Drusilla, and slowly realized that the pile of dust was all that remained.

“Spike, I…” she started. What could she say? She had come there to kill him, and instead he had saved her life.

Spike looked down at her as he continued to support most of her weight. “You need to rest…”

“I’m so sorry, Spike,” she said the first thing that came to mind, and she had to admit that it sounded incredibly stupid. She was sorry that he had killed Drusilla and kept her from killing her? Yeah, she was really sorry about that one!

“Don’t talk,” Spike insisted lifting her into his arms and placing her on the stone slab of the tomb.

“No,” she fought for the right words. “I know you loved her. I know what it’s like to kill the one you love…”

Spike looked down at her his eyes compassionate and filled with love for her as he gently smoothed a blond strand of hair from her forehead. “I didn’t kill the one I loved,” he told her softly. “I saved her.”







The End