Chapter One

Elizabeth “Buffy” Summers sat on the red eye plane to London from California filled with trepidation. An adventure was before her, she could feel it in her bones, she just wasn’t sure if she was ready for it.

Her sister, Drusilla, had deemed her ready though it seemed.

“Do you have family in London, dearie?” the old woman next to her asked.

Buffy smiled, “I do. My sister.”

“Oh, that’s nice. She have a family and a home there for you to visit?”

“A home, not a family. I hear she has a friend.”

“A man friend?”

Buffy nodded, “A man friend.”

“Are you very close to your sister?”

Buffy fought to keep the tears at bay that wanted to come from that question. “We were, sort of, even with the distance.”

“I’m sure she missed you,” the old woman said, and patted her hand. “Does she know you’re coming or are you surprising her?”

“She sent for me actually.”

“Oh, isn’t that nice. A nice vacation for you then.”

“Oh. . . not really.”

The old woman’s brow furrowed, “Not really? Why not dear?”

“I am being put to work it seems. I have to put my sister’s estate in order.”

“Is she sick?”

“No. She’s dead.”


********

Drusilla’s mansion in Devonshire was a rumbling monstrosity of rock. It was gigantic and not at all homey. She remembered visiting her in the past and having a sense of foreboding upon turning onto the gravel driveway that led to the estate. Her sister would smile knowingly at her when Buffy would complain to her of feeling cold and unsettled in the mansion, like she knew why she felt so unsettled and cold.

And she did know why. Buffy just refused to discuss it.

“You must be Miss Summers. Welcome, Miss. We are happy to see you.”

Buffy looked up from her ponderings to find a whole staff of people waiting for her on the stone steps leading up to her sister’s home. The woman who had officially greeted her was a small, stout woman with frizzy brown hair and large welcoming big brown eyes. She wore a maid’s uniform, as did all the women. And all the men were dressed in suits.

Oh, this would not do.

She didn’t know how Dru managed to stand it. Her husband had been a Lord, and therefore had earned money the old fashioned way – through inheritance. He’d had a staff on hand since he was a child, so to him, this was not a big deal. Buffy remembered the times she had visited though, feeling quite out of sorts when a maid would enter her room to ‘turn down her bed’. When she’d asked Dru how she could stand it, Dru had merely told her that ‘one got used to it’ and that it fit anyway since she always knew she was such a princess.

“Please,” Buffy implored the woman, “Call me Buffy. You are?”

“Edina, miss.”

“Buffy.”

“Sorry, miss, my place does not require that I call you by your first name.”

“Well, your place is to work for me, right?”

“Yes, miss.”

“Then you call me Buffy or you’re fired, how does that sound?”

Edina paled and nodded profusely. “Yes, miss---I mean, Buffy. Buffy it is.”

Buffy smiled, “Thank you.”

“Shall I show you to your room?”

“Yes, please. It’s been…years.”


********

“Is it always cold in this house?” Buffy asked Edina later, rubbing her arms with her hands, as she drew back the heavy brown curtains from the doors that led out to a veranda.

“It’s actually quite warm, Buffy. It’s a nice warm spring day here in Devonshire. Shall I open all the windows on the estate?”

Buffy nodded absently, watching the BMW that was coming down the gravel path. “Yes, please. Edina, is someone supposed to be coming?”

“Oh, yes, Buffy. William, your sister’s dear friend and attorney is coming today for you.”

“Ah, yes. The William. I suppose I’ll be deciding whether or not I stay today, isn’t that right?”

“It is your home now.”

“Is it?” Buffy murmured. “Well, then. Guess I should get this over with. . . “


********

The estate ran like a well oiled machine. By the time Buffy had gotten downstairs to greet William; he’d already been shown into the formal room and was waiting for her.

Running a hand through her blond tresses, she took a deep breath before entering. She was petrified. She didn’t know anything about settling estates and all that rot. She didn’t even know what she wanted to do at the present moment. She felt in limbo. Much like some of the people Dru helped.

The man that greeted her was somewhat shocking to her. Shocking because of how incredibly handsome he was. Gorgeous, really. For some reason, she didn’t expect that. Then again, Dru would of course only keep those that were beautiful around her. He was tall, lean with bleached blond hair and striking blue eyes. He had a full mouth and cheekbones that could cut glass.

“Hi,” she said and held out her hand, hoping she didn’t sound as breathless as he’d left her.

He smiled broadly, “Hello Miss Summers.”

“Buffy. Call me Buffy, please.”

“Buffy it is then. How are you? Good flight?”

“Um, I’m fine, considering.” Her eyes darted around the room, hearing a slight tapping on the wall behind William.

“Yes, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Wasn’t it your loss as well, Mr. Giles is it?”

He nodded, his eyes sad, “Yes. Dru was a good friend. And please, call me William.”

“Can I ask you a question, William?” Buffy asked, trying to ignore the incessant tapping that was still going on behind him.

“You may.”

“Were you and my sister…romantically involved?”

He looked at her startled, “You just cut right to the chase, don’t you?”

“Sorry. I’m curious. I’d heard her talk of you, and she’d written to me of you, but she never made any inkling as to what the exact nature of your relationship was.”

“Just friends. She was a great deal of help to me when my girlfriend died in a car accident last year.”

Suddenly, the room felt too small and the air felt sucked out of it. “Oh, well, I’m glad to hear that she could help.”

He eyed her, “Are you all right?”

“I’m not really good at this sort of thing. The fact is William, I’m not sure if I’m going to be staying here or not. So if you’re here to have me sign some papers to keep this monstrosity, then you made a wasted trip.”

“She knew you’d hesitate.”

“Of course she knew. She knew everything, didn’t she?” Buffy said, feeling suddenly quite overwhelmed. And now, cold again.

“She made other arrangements in case you decided not to keep the estate, a relative of her late husband’s, but she was quite adamant in wanting you to take over the estate.”

“Why me?” she asked, and the tapping grew louder.

He stared at her. “Surely you know why, don’t you, Buffy?”

“She’s persistent, even beyond the grave,” Buffy muttered.

“Buffy, do you have it?”

Buffy eyed William warily. “Have what?”

“You know. Do you have the gift?”

“No, I most certainly do not,” she said emphatically, angry even.

“She thinks—“

“Well, she’s not here, is she? Just like her…always bringing it up…Goddammit! Do you hear that noise?”

William looked around the room and then at her. “What noise?”

“That tapping. That incessant tapping.”

“Buffy—“

“I don’t want to hear you! I don’t want to know!” Buffy shouted. Breathing heavy, she looked down at William who was staring up at her with wide eyes. “Well, there you go. I have the gift. I can hear them and sometimes I can see them. All the pretty dead people. I just don’t want to.”

William Giles thought Buffy Summers was completely off her bird. And considering she appeared to have the same gift as his dear friend, whom was also her sister that was saying a lot. Drusilla had always gone on about how together Buffy was. It didn't appear that way to him. Buffy was unraveling before his eyes right there in her designer suit.

“Buffy, are you all right?” he asked her, standing up and grabbing her arm to steady her. She was shaking like a leaf. She was also cold to the touch and considering it was quite warm in the room that was worrisome.

She looked at him with wild green eyes and he thought, Beautiful. She was quite striking; he'd thought so when he'd first clapped eyes on her. So very different from her sister. Dru was dark – dark hair, dark eyes—and Buffy was light – golden blond hair, and green eyes. Her skin knew the sun quite well it seemed, as she had a healthy golden tan. She looked warm to the touch, and perhaps under different circumstances, she would be. Dru had been pale, tall, and almost gangly, while Buffy was shorter, slender, but with womanly curves.

She shut her eyes and held onto his arm, steadying herself. “It’s gone,” she whispered.

“What’s gone?”

“The tapping.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t hear it?”

“No.”

She released him suddenly as if he was burning her. She looked up at him, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

"I'll bet this isn't what you came out here for." She eyed him warily and sat down. "Though, you were friends with my sister, so who knows."

"I admit I was curious to see if you had the same gift."

She snorted, "Stop calling it a gift."

"Your sister--"

"I'm not her and I don't consider it a gift. I consider it a burden, something I wish to be rid of."

"Maybe if you accepted it--"

"Maybe you should mind your own business," Buffy snapped. "That's what those who don't have it say. They wish they had it, or maybe they don't wish they had it, and instead are thankful they don't have it and someone else does. Those that don't have it just want to be able to use you for their own selfish purposes. They don't care what it does to you--"

"Do you think I only became your sister's friend to use her?" William asked, highly insulted. His anger was starting to rise. After all the things that Dru had told him about her "dear sister", William was beginning to find most of that to the contrary.

"I don't know you well enough to make that judgment, William," she said wearily.

"Perhaps you shouldn't stay then."

Buffy's head jerked up. "Oh?"

"Why should you? You'd only be defaming her good name--"

"Why? Because I don't want to sell myself out as some kind of sideshow freak for the populace--"

"She helped people!" William nearly roared. "She was a good woman that wanted to help people. You're just a... pampered princess!"

She bounded to her feet, her eyes flashing, and he thought, Breathtaking.

"I am not a pampered princess. I've had to work for everything I have. Some might say Dru was the pampered one, getting this house--"

"She also lost a lot when her husband died and had to go without. It didn't make her as callous and cold as you seem to be. She still wanted to help."

"Well throw her a goddamn party and celebrate the fucking thing that killed her!" Buffy shouted. "See yourself out," she said over her shoulder and stomped off, slamming the door behind her.

William stood in the center of the room, completely bewildered. What had just happened? How had their conversation gone so terribly wrong? It wasn't supposed to happen that way. He'd promised Dru he'd get her to stay. He promised her that he'd help Buffy find her place. Dru saw a bad outcome for Buffy if she stayed on the path she was on. Saw destruction and pain, and she had even hinted at Buffy being killed horrifically. She'd begged William to make Buffy stay, to keep her on the straight and narrow. William wasn't sure what she'd meant by that, Buffy Summers seemed as if she wouldn't know a wild time if it came up and bit her in the ass. And, something about her told him that she wouldn't take too kindly to knowing that Dru had asked him all of this after she was dead.

********

"Miss Buffy--" Edina was hot on her heels after she'd slammed the door shut on William.

Buffy whirled around, "I told you--- never mind. Look, I just want to be left alone, okay?"

Edina nodded and looked down at the ground, clearly hurt and yet wanting to make Buffy happy.

Growling, Buffy tore up to her room before the tears came and everyone in the free world knew that she, the Ice Queen, was crying.

Last week, she'd known exactly what she was doing and where she was headed. Then, news came of her sister's death -- an aneurism in her sleep -- and life had gone downhill from there. Her mother had called, and Buffy still remembered the chill in her voice.


"Yes, hello dear. Your sister is dead."

Buffy gripped the phone, feeling her world plummeting, "What?"

"She died in her sleep. Since her last wish was to have her body cremated and scattered across the Pacific, her body will be transported. Your father and I will be making arrangements for a memorial. You're welcome to come."

"I'm welcome to come? This isn't a formal party here, mother, this is Dru. Your daughter. My sister. God, can't you be a mother for once in your li--"



Her mother had hung up on her. Such was the way it had always been, and now Dru, the only real family she’d ever known was gone. She was gone and Buffy was alone in the world. She had felt the loss heavily and fought hard to keep the fallout at bay. She had to keep it together, she had to keep moving, keep going, and keep trying. She couldn’t fall apart.

Dru was ten years older than she, and as soon as she’d turned eighteen, she moved out of the cold environment they’d grown up in. She’d tried to get custody of Buffy, but that had ended in a shambles where Buffy was not allowed to see Dru for many, many years. In fact, she hadn’t seen her until she was sixteen and had contacted her secretly. After Buffy had moved out of her parent’s home, she’d moved in for a spell with Dru on the east coast where she attended college, studying art history. It was in Rhode Island that Dru had met her future husband, and it was shortly thereafter that she’d moved to England. Buffy understood all too well – get as far away as you can from Mom and Dad.

After school was done, Buffy landed a job in a museum in California and taught art history at night for Berkley. She still stayed as far away as she could from her parents. She worked hard for everything she had, saving her money like a squirrel, never once asking for help from the people that would never give it to her to begin with. She’d gone to school on scholarships and had worked her way through college, Dru insisted that she put money aside for a place of her own once school was finished, and that’s exactly what she’d done.

When she could, she’d gone out to visit her sister, Dru always being the one to send for her. At the young age of thirty-nine, her sister had passed, and now Buffy, age twenty-nine, had no one. She had a mansion, a bunch of memories, a hidden ‘talent’ for seeing the dead that she didn’t want, and anger at the world for taking her sister from her. Not to mention the anger she felt with herself for not having made it out to see Dru for the past four years, her busy life too hectic to have made the time.

She was thankful that she’d at least gone peacefully. She wished though, that she had gotten the chance to say goodbye to her; even if that meant visiting her and telling her as a specter. It seemed though that her sister had found other ways to communicate. Her estate had been left to her. It was all up to her now. Buffy just didn’t know what she wanted to do with it, if she wanted it at all. So, she’d gone on sabbatical from teaching and had taken an extensive vacation from work to come out to England and make arrangements. Arrangements for her life.

Buffy flung herself on her bed and had herself a good cry, the cry that had been vaulted up inside her since the funeral. She sobbed out her frustration and her anger and soon, cried herself to sleep, and had herself a dreamless sleep to rest her tired mind.

Buffy was fighting wakefulness, but the voices wouldn’t let her. She heard them just on the outskirts of consciousness, whispering and muttering. She couldn’t make out words, but she didn’t have to. Just hearing them was enough.

She sat up in her bed, glaring into her dark room. The whispering and the muttering stopped. Flopping back, Buffy stared up at the ceiling. Of course it was in the middle of the night. It was too much to ask that she actually sleep through the entire night. Rolling over, she figured maybe she could at least try to go back to sleep again. And on cue, her stomach growled.

Fantastic.

Grumbling to herself, Buffy crawled out of her bed and stumbled across the room in the pitch black dark to find the light. Knocking into something hard, she cursed. “All right, can I have a little help here?” she said aloud and, as if on cue, the lights came on.

Fighting off a shiver, she called to the empty room. “Thank you, you can leave now. I don’t want to see you.”

Now to find the kitchen. “Okay, Buffy, remember…down the hall to the stairs, down the stairs, take a left down the hall, take an immediate right and there you are.”

She kept repeating the mantra from memory, ignoring the feeling that she was being watched, and found the kitchen through the semi-lit hallways with ease. As soon as she entered, the light flicked on.

“Thanks again,” she muttered. “And still don’t want to see you.”

Making her way to the vast fridge, she opened it and perused the contents. She couldn’t settle on anything she wanted, so she started taking things out and placing them on the counter. A buffet, that’s what she’d have.

Munching on some cold chicken, her mind reeled back to a conversation she’d had with Dru a couple years back when she’d started her ‘business’.



“You’re doing what again?” Buffy asked in the phone, shoving her Lean Cuisine in the microwave and setting the timer.

“I’m helping solve murder cases,” Dru told her again.

Buffy shook her head and held out her hand as if the answer would be placed in the palm of it. Her brows were furrowed in complete confusion. “Why?”

“Why not? Some of these people lost their loved ones in horrible ways. They need answers to be able to heal. Why not help them? Especially since their loved ones come to me to help their families move on.”

Buffy sighed heavily. “So you’re what now -- Jonathan Edwards, but with a slightly different slant because now you solve crimes?”

“Buffy,” Dru said on a sigh, “Why do you mock me like this?”

“I don’t understand it.”

“You understand it, Buffy. You have the same—“

“I don’t have it.”

“Yes, you do. Just because you say you don’t, doesn’t mean it’s not there. You know it and I know it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Still, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. What are you so afraid of?”

“You telling me you enjoy being woken up in the middle of the night by some persistent spirit that has something to say? I don’t particularly enjoy that. I also don’t like it when I spend a half an hour talking to someone on the subway, and then I come to find out that I was talking to thin air the whole time.”

“You aren’t talking to thin air, you’re talking to someone.”

“Tell that to the people on the subway with me!”

“You know how to tell—“

“And I don’t want to be able to tell, Dru. I find they leave you alone when you tell them to go away. Some of them actually have a code of ethics that involves not pissing off the living.”

“I feel good about what I’m doing, Buffy. I like to help these people. I like to see them be able to move on and find relief in knowing what happened to their loved ones. I help them fill a void that perhaps they would have spent years trying to fill and might never have succeeded at.”

The timer on the microwave went off and Buffy reached in to grab it.

“Don’t burn yourself,” Dru said quickly.

Buffy withdrew her hand. “Stop doing that.”

Dru laughed, “I was just teasing. Took a wild guess when I heard the beep. Warming up another meal in the microwave?”

“You suck,” Buffy muttered.

“I try. Come on, if you can’t have fun with your gift, what’s the point in having it?”

“Mainly, I just don’t see the point in having it.”

“Doesn’t it get exhausting trying to fight it?”

“No, what gets exhausting is always having these discussions with you.”

“I will stop then. For now.”

“Yeah, exactly. For now.”



Having suddenly lost her appetite, Buffy gathered the food up, put it back, and headed back to bed. She paid no heed to the lights going on and off around her as she made her way back to her room.

********

If there was one thing William was not, it was a quitter. He did not give up easily, even when he probably should. In addition, he was a man of his word. He had promised Dru to help Buffy, so help Buffy he would. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint the woman who had brought him so much peace after his precious Winifred had died.

So, it was with determination that William arrived at the mansion to see Buffy once again. Her maid wasn’t so sure she’d see him; honestly, he wasn’t so sure she’d see him. It was to both their great surprise that Buffy decided to meet with him. But it had to be in the garden out back. William smiled. That had also been Drusilla’s favorite spot to meet with people. Large and glorious with a huge fountain that you could actually sit on in the center of it, the garden was more like an intricate courtyard, bursting at the seams with flowers.

Sure enough, sitting ramrod straight at the fountain, Indian style, with her eyes closed was Buffy. Gone were the prim and proper threads she’d worn the day before, in their place were blue yoga pants and a white form fitting t-shirt. Her hair was free and cascading down her shoulders in waves. She looked so peaceful, so much like an angel that all William could do for a moment was stop and stare at her. Something inside him said Yes.

Her eyes popped open and met his. “Hi,” she said simply. “Come back for another round?”

He smiled, “I don’t give up easily.”

“Well, I don’t give in easy, so it would appear you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

He gestured to the spot beside her. “May I?”

She nodded her assent.

“Meditating?” he asked as he sat down, squinting against the sun.

“Sort of. I’m not really good at it. That was more Dru’s thing than mine. She could sit still for long periods of time and concentrate on one task. I can’t. I’m all over the place.”

“I find I’m the say way.”

“She tried to teach me to meditate so many times. I found that if I could at least sit for five minutes without thinking anything at all and just focusing on my breathing, I was all set.”

“Isn’t that meditating?”

“Yeah, but I think you’re supposed to hold it longer than five. Somehow what bill I need to pay next always crops up in my head. What can I do for you today, William?”

“Buffy, I hate that we argued the way we did. That’s not how I wanted our first meeting to go.”

“Well, it’s not like it matters, does it? You were my sister’s friend. Nothing says you have to be mine,” she said on a shrug.

He stared at her, slightly flabbergasted. “Do you purposely try to make things difficult?”

She smirked. “No, I’m just a natural.” She sighed heavily and shook her head. “Look, I’m sorry. I know that you’re just trying to help and do right by Dru. I don’t take well to help. I’m sorta used to doing things on my own.”

“Dru worried about you,” William confessed softly. “She worried that you worked too much and didn’t have a life outside of work.”

“I don’t.”

“Friends?”

“Some.”

“Boyfriend?”

She snorted. “To use a British phrase ‘Not bloody likely’.”

William found it best to ignore the surge of hope he felt at that fact. “Hence the worrying.”

“Yeah, well, Dru tried more than once to psychoanalyze me and never got anywhere, so don’t think you can try.”

He held up his hands. “I won’t try.”

“I have options with this place don’t I? To sign it over to someone, or to keep it, and rent it to someone else, right?”

“Don’t do that, Buffy. This …Dru wanted this to be your home.”

Buffy bounded to her feet. “Here we go again. What Dru wanted. What about what I want? What if I don’t want this place?”

“Because the apartment you have in California is so much better?”

“I know California. I don’t know England.”

“How long are you here for?”

“I don’t…I don’t know. For a month maybe.”

“Then stay. I will keep the bank at bay, I will do everything in my power to allow you to stay for that month and decide what you want. Then when you do decide, whatever you decide, I will help you make plans.”

“Even if it’s to not stay?”

“Even if it’s to not stay.”

“And you won’t give me a problem about it?”

“I swear on the Queen.”

Buffy held out her hand and William took it, wondering if she felt the surge of electricity he felt upon touching her. He rest startled eyes on her, but she was already taking her hand back and walking off. “Sounds like a deal then,” she said and kept going.

Chapter Four



Buffy was wandering aimlessly through the house, just checking things out. She could tell the rooms that had never been used or even looked at since sheets covered the furniture inside. It was a shame that there was so much house and not all of it was being used. It seemed like such a waste. If she did decide not to stay, she thought perhaps it’d be lucrative of her to open the place as a Bed & Breakfast.



Opening the doors to the ballroom, Buffy was stopped in her tracks.



“Holy shit,” she muttered.



“Ah, miss, I see you’ve found the flowers,” Edina said, coming up behind her.



“There’s a greenery in the ballroom! Where did all these come from?” Buffy questioned, bewildered as she took in the ballroom packed full of bouquet after bouquet.



“Your sister was loved. All these flowers are from the people and the families she helped.”



“Oh my God,” Buffy murmured. There had to be at least a hundred bouquets scattered about the room.



“We ran out of room in the house to keep them and it seemed such a shame to throw them out,” Edina explained.



Buffy nodded mutely and walked away from Edina and the room, feeling numb.



********



Buffy felt relief in getting out of the house and into town. Being out and about, she didn’t feel surrounded by so much death. The whole house was Dru, not hers, and everything there was another reminder that her sister was gone. And feeling sets of eyes on her constantly made her feel on edge.



Finally, she’d given up and asked if she could be taken into town. She’d utilize the service until she knew the lay of the land at least.



Settling on what appeared to be a small shopping area, Buffy strolled through the streets, going in this store and that, taking her time and acclimating herself to the environment that surrounded her. The town was nice; homey. All of it felt so surreal, as if she was in another time – and she was definitely in another place. She stopped inside a little market and was selecting fruits and vegetables to take back when she heard William’s deep voice in her ear.



“Spending some time out away from the house?”



She turned to find him with a bag full of tomatoes and a bag full of peppers. She smiled. “I am.”



“Now that’s nice,” William said, smiling.




“What is?”



“That smile. I think that’s the first smile I’ve seen on you.”



She grinned now. “Don’t tell anyone. Wouldn’t want that secret getting out.”



He put his hand over his heart. “I swear to not tell a soul.”



She snorted, “That includes the dead as well.”



He chuckled, “Done.”



She turned as if to walk away and then stopped, and turned back to him. “I saw the ballroom. The flowers that were sent to her. . . It was amazing.”



He nodded slowly. “She was well loved in this town.”



“Did you?”



“Pardon?” he said, his brow furrowing in confusion.



“Did you love her?”



“Didn’t you already ask me this question?”



“No. I asked you if you were involved. That’s different than asking if you were you in love with her. You can not be involved with someone and yet love them.”



He shook his head, “No,” he replied softly, “I was not in love with Dru. I loved her as a friend, nothing more.” He regarded her thoughtfully. “Would it bother if I had been in love with her?”



Yes, she thought, but I don’t know why. Instead of voicing that, she smiled, “This is an odd conversation to be having inside a market, isn’t it?”



He sidled up closer to her, a saucy grin on his handsome face. “You didn’t answer the question. Would it bother you if I said I had been in love with your sister?”



Buffy took a full step back, “No, not at all. I was just curious, that’s all. I guess I still subscribe to the notion that men and women can’t be friends.”



William chuckled, “Well then, I guess I can prove you wrong on that. We can be friends, can’t we Buffy?”


“You’re a lawyer,” she blurted out.



He let out a full laugh, “Oh don’t say it with such contempt. Surely there is something redeemable about me?”



She smiled warily, looking down. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant that in a sense you work for me . . . in a roundabout way.”



“I knew what you meant. It’s all right. I was teasing you.”



“A-and yeah, we can be, you know, friends.”



“You really don’t have very many do you?”



Buffy shook her head, “Nope. I keep to myself.”



“You don’t get lonely?”



“Back to this again?”



He sighed, “Sorry, can’t help it. I’ve just heard a lot about you –“



“Then surely you know I’m not the pampered princess you accused me of being.”



He smiled sheepishly, “I apologize for that. I know you’re not. You have the air of a pampered princess, but I do know you have worked hard, still work hard. Anyway, I’ve heard a lot about you and I know this is going to sound strange, but I kind of feel as though Dru’s worries about you became mine.”



Buffy snorted. “That’s weird.” Off William’s hurt look, she quickly apologized. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that that way either. Things like that tend to wig me out.”



“’Wig’ you out. How?” he asked, cocking his head to the side, an inquisitive expression on his face.



“People worrying about me. I know Dru did, but it was still something I never got used to, and she was my sister. I grew up in an environment where no one cared if I was alive or dead, and without Dru around when I was growing up, I just . . . I inherited the bad traits my mom had.”



“Dru told me a lot about your family. I’m sorry.”



“Don’t be. You weren’t there.”



“Buffy, I’m going to take a shot in the dark here, but will you have dinner with me this evening? I think getting away from the house has done wonders. You’re smiling and joking – I want to see if it’ll last a little longer.”



Buffy smirked, “Great. The house is like Amityville. It makes me depressed and nuts when I’m there. Way to make me want to stay there.”



William laughed, “You have a good point there. You know it’s not the house so much as…”



Buffy nodded, looking down. “I know.”



“So, will you?”



Taking a deep breath, Buffy decided to do the opposite of what she’d usually do for once. Why, she had no clue, but she had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with the reason she was so relieved to hear he hadn’t been in love with her sister. “Sure.”



********



William felt like a hormonal schoolboy. His palms were slightly sweating, his heart was racing and he kept fidgeting with his tie. He was taking Buffy out on a date.



He was sure she wouldn’t call it a date. No, she’d call it “just dinner”. All business and shut down Buffy would balk at the idea of this being a date. So, he tried to tell himself it wasn’t a date either. It was just a way for him to convince her to stay. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. He wasn’t the type to do something like that. He couldn’t take Buffy out; woo her essentially, to get her to stay. That was a horrible thing to do and though he’d promised Dru he’d do everything he could to get her to stay, he didn’t like the idea of playing upon her weakened state like that. He was sure she would hate to be described as being in a ‘weakened state’ right now. Buffy did not seem the type of woman that took kindly to having any weakness. She felt her gift was a weakness and look how she battled that.



Maybe she was able to deny it better in California, but here, it had to be bloody impossible. There was so much of her sister in the area, so many ghosties that wanted attention from her now that Dru was gone – no wonder she felt nuts. Fighting them off had to be a task and a half. He saw the weariness in her at the market. He also saw though, how much more at ease she seemed away from the house. The intrusions were most likely less in town than they were at the house.



Her smile, the way it lit up her whole face and had reached her eyes and made them sparkle, that had done it for him. He himself felt a stirring of something inside him that he had thought had died and would never return when Winifred had died. Truthfully, she’d stirred something in him before that, but that smile had cemented it. It wasn’t his promise to Dru or his determination to the cause that propelled him to ask her to dinner. It was just that he simply wanted to. She was such an enigma to him, and it wasn’t because she could see and talk with spirits. It was her. She was so wrapped tight in her protective armor, that she became something he wanted to uncover. He wanted to know what made her tick. The woman had a hell of a lot of passion inside her, and he wanted to determine the exact origin of it. He wanted her to unravel in a good way.



He hadn’t lied completely when he told her that Dru’s concerns had become his. After meeting her, they had. He did worry about her in that big house all by herself with nothing but the staff and the thing that go bump in the night to keep her company. She was a haunted woman, no pun intended, and the more he talked with her, the more he felt the need to help her.



“Good evening, Mr. Giles, “Buffy greeted him, coming down her stairs with an easy smile on her face. She wore a simple, spaghetti-strapped black dress that hugged her curves and accentuated her sun-kissed skin. The dress flowed to mid thigh and swished out when she walked. She was holding a black hand bag in her hand.



He gulped. “Good evening, Miss Summers.”



“Do I need a jacket?” she inquired, looking up at him.



“No. Buffy, can I tell you something?”



She shrugged, “Sure.”



“You look beautiful, pet.”



That seemed to disarm her a bit. She took a step back, looking positively alarmed and uncertain. Her eyelashes fluttered and she cleared her throat. “Thanks.”



He grinned, “You’re not used to receiving compliments are you?”



She cleared her throat again. “Uh, are we ready to go?”



Nodding, William opened the door for Buffy and couldn’t resist placing a hand at the small of her back as he led her to his car. Well, that’s something, he thought when she didn’t shrink away.

“Buffy,” William began with some hesitation later after they’d been seated at the restaurant they’d chosen and their wine had been served.



“Hmm?” she murmured, pouring over the menu.



“Something you said the other day has been sticking with me and I don’t want to bring up a painful subject—“



“Just come out with it, William.”



He took a deep breath, “You said that it was some ’thing’ that killed Dru.”



She looked up from the menu and sighed, “Oh, that.”



“What did you mean?”



She frowned slightly, and bit her lip. “You’ll think I’m crazy. Or, crazier.”



“Try me.”



“The ‘gift’ as you like to call it? I just don’t see how it can be something healthy. I mean…why us? Why her? It’s not something normal. To hear the dead talking to you, to see them…how can that be a good thing? I’ve had them around me, filling up my head, making me feel crazy with all their chattering…” she broke off, shaking her head. “I think, okay yeah, she had an aneurism in her brain, but why? Because those things were always there. And she had more than just the ability to see and hear them, she was psychic too. You knew that of course…I just think it killed her. Too much in her brain and it fried her.”



“Buffy—“



“I know, you think I’m crazier. I just can’t help it.”



“Those things didn’t kill her, Buffy. She enjoyed having those things.”



Buffy sighed and picked up her menu. “Perhaps she was the crazy one then. So, what should I get?”



“I am getting the veal parmesan. I’m afraid that’s the only thing I’ve ever really gotten here.”



“Hmm, okay. I’ll have that too then,” she said and closed her menu briskly, and set it down. Reaching for her glass, she took a small sip. “Can I ask a personal question?”



“Sure.”



“You said my sister helped you—“

“Do you realize that most of your personal questions have to do with my relationship with your sister?”



Buffy smiled and ducked her head. William swore she was blushing. He really liked that.



“Anyway,” she continued, “what was it that she did for you? How did you come to meet her?”



“Well,” he began, “I’d heard of Dru and what she did around town. I’d just lost my girlfriend in a car accident and was in a bad way.” His mind wandered to what a mess he’d been. “I needed some relief. Needed to know that she was okay and that she wasn’t mad at me. I came to see Dru and she. . she spoke to Winifred. Told me that she was happy where she was and wanted me to be happy too.”



“How in the car accident did she die?” Buffy asked softly.



“She was struck by a drunk driver. She’d been on her way to see me. I’d made her come to get me since I was stuck at work and my car was in the shop. She hadn’t wanted to come, but I begged her to. We both had busy jobs and barely saw each other through the week. I’d had a crap week and wanted to see my girl. She came out to see me and on her way…” he trailed off, falling silent.



He was surprised when Buffy’s hand folded over his own on the table. “I’m sorry,” she said. Looking up, William saw the genuine warmth and concern in her eyes. Her hand on his was a comfort and he didn’t want her to let go.



“I’m okay. Much better than I was. Dru was good for me, she really helped me through it. She had experience with loss.”



Buffy nodded in understanding, “Yes, since she’d lost Stephen.”



“Exactly.”



Watching her slide her hand back to her person, William fought the urge to reach out and grab it and bring it back. Staring at her hand, he asked quietly. “So you and Dru were close?”



“Yes, we were.”



The waiter came over, interrupting their conversation and Buffy seemed actually relieved for the reprieve. Keep things lighter he thought and changed the subject to her work after they’d placed their order.



********



“You keep staring at me,” Buffy told him later after they’d eaten and were enjoying a tea.



William smiled, “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Some things about you are like Dru and yet so many things are different. You might find it odd to hear that I find you fascinating Miss Summers.”



Buffy laughed, “Oh boy. There’s a word no one has ever used to describe me. I’ve gotten a lot of ‘bitch’, but not ‘fascinating’.”



“Well, you’re definitely closed up tight.”



“Dru was more the hippie type. She tried so hard to get me to loosen up when I finally made it out of our parent’s house. Like I said, I inherited their bad traits. Dru didn’t seem to have taken any with her. She was the lucky one.” Buffy smiled in memory of her sister. “She was very popular. She always had admirers and people just flocked to her. She was always warm and accommodating – as you well know. I never got that. I was the hard ass, the ‘bitch’. Where they liked her, they hated me.”



William felt his heart break for her. “That can’t be true. I can’t imagine anyone hating you.”



Buffy snorted, “Oh, but they have and oh, but they do. It’s okay. I know I’m not going to win any popularity contests. My whole life has just been about . . . “ she shook her head.



“Tell me,” he implored, needing to know what she was going to say.



She met his eyes when she answered him, “My whole life has been about keeping my head above water. About surviving and not ever having to go back to my parents. Dru never worried about failing, and she always landed on her feet. I always worried about failing and I wasn’t satisfied with just ‘landing on my feet’. I didn’t want that opportunity of a hit or miss to present itself.”



“Buffy—“



“Don’t feel sorry for me. Or worry about me. I make those decisions for myself.”



“Don’t do that.”



“Do what?” she asked, looking at him.



“Hide and keep me at arms length.”



“William—“



This time it was he who reached across the table and took her hand in his. She tried to pull back, but he held on tight. “Don’t hide from me. I want to be your friend, Buffy. Please, let me be your friend. I’ll be your friend first and your attorney second if you’ll let me. I like what I know so far of you. Even that so-called craziness you speak of. There’s something about you, Buffy and I just…I just want the chance to get to know you better so I can figure it out.”



He wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the tears that welled up in her eyes. She blinked them back and tried to disengage her hand from his. He wouldn’t let her.



“Buffy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he told her earnestly.



She shook her head, “No, it’s all right. I’m just…William, please don’t say those things just because you want me to stay. I know Dru wanted me to, but –“



“I’m not. I mean what I say, I don’t say them on a whim or just to get something from you.”



“William, please,” she begged.

“What? What is it, tell me?”



“No one’s ever…and I don’t know how to handle it. Please, let me go.”



It took him a minute to realize she meant his hand. He released it quickly.



She stood immediately. “I’m going to use the bathroom and when I come back, can we just go on with our evening like that never happened?”



He nodded mutely.



“Thank you,” she said curtly and charged off.



William sat there, watching her go. Buffy Summers didn’t know it, but William was more certain than ever that she was not going to be alone, ever. Not while he still had breath in his body.

Buffy was tired, William could tell just by looking at her as they exited the restaurant.

“Ready to go home, luv?” he asked, placing his hand once again on the small of her back.

She looked up at him, a teasing grin on her flushed face. “Trying to get rid of me already?” she asked, her speech slightly slurred. According to his calculations, she’d had three glasses of wine and little in the way of food.

“You look tired is all,” he told her.

She nodded, “I am,” and she promptly yawned. She pouted slightly, her lower lip jutting out in the most adorable way that had William mesmerized and wetting his lips. “But I don’t want to go home.”

He gulped. “Y-you don’t?”

She shook her head, “No, I just feel so...crazy there.” Sighing, she shrugged, “Oh well. I’m sure I’ll get used to it...or not.”

“Crazy?”

“You know, with all the ghosties wanting to make themselves known.”

“Maybe if you didn’t fight it, they wouldn’t bother you so much.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose and turned away from him. “Home it is!”

Chuckling slightly at her sudden chipper behavior, if slightly drunk and therefore helped,

William led her to the car and soon they were off. Buffy rested her head against the headrest and stared out the window. William made a mental note to take her out during the day and show her around.

The sound of soft snoring is what clued William into the fact that Buffy had fallen asleep.

Pulling up to her estate, he turned the car off and stared at her in the moonlight. There was a slight drizzle outside now and he could see the patterns of rain from the windshield on her lovely face.

“You really are beautiful,” he whispered to her and reached out to gently move some hair from her face. “And so interesting to me.”

He watched her, trying to decide what to do. He hated the idea of waking her. He also hated the idea of bringing her in and then abruptly leaving. A smile started to spread across his face as a plan formed. He could take her in and then find one of the guest rooms to sleep in. Yes, that’s what he’d do.

Climbing out of the car, William jogged around the car and tried to open her door as quietly as possible. Lifting her gently out of the seat, he pulled her up into his arms. She was light as a feather. He frowned, she needed to eat more.

“William?” she said, stirring slightly and looking up at him with drowsy green eyes.

He smiled, “Go back to sleep.”

Yawning, she nodded and rested her head back on his shoulder. Angel, he thought. Kicking the door closed with his foot, William started for the house. Her maid was there as soon as he entered and she appeared startled that Buffy was in his arms, but after assuring her that her mistress was fine, Edina showed him to her room.

Flicking on the light for him, she bustled around him and turned down the bed for him.

“Thanks, Edina, you can leave now. I can take care of Miss Summers from here,” William told her.

“But—“

“It’s all right, Edina. Thank you. Uh, if you could though, prepare a room for me? I’ll be staying the night.”

She clearly did not approve, but said nothing as she gave a curt nod, and walked out.

William smiled down at Buffy’s serene face and eased her into bed gently. Her hair sprawled out on the pillow and her limbs stretching, she looked like a Goddess. He drank her in, thinking her the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Tugging off her shoes, he placed them next to the bed and covered her. Sitting down next to her, he smiled down at her.

“Taken quite a shine to her, haven’t you?”

William’s head snapped to the side and there was Dru, standing there as though she were alive, save for the night gown she’d died in. “Dru,” he breathed, his heart racing.

“You scared me.”

“Which part scares you? The fact that I’m dead or that I just popped out of nowhere?”

“Honestly? Both.”

She giggled and Buffy stirred.

“She’ll hear me,” Dru whispered. “Come, let’s have a chat shall we?”

Nodding, and still trying to get used to the idea that Dru was there and talking to him while dead, he followed her out the room and down the hall to a room whose light was shining out into the hallway.

“Oh, Edina picked one of the smallest rooms. Don’t think she liked you bringing Buffy up,” Dru said,
smiling.

William grumbled. “Don’t bloody care if she liked it or not. This is the year 2006, right? Not bloody 1810.”

Dru giggled, her little girl giggle. “I think you’re smitten, William.”

Closing the door behind him, he undid his tie and took off his jacket and glared at her. “I don’t know what you’re on about.”

Dru smiled, “You are smitten with my sister. No need to deny it William. I can see it.”

“Dru,” he said wearily, “Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you, but what are you doing haunting me and not her?”

Dru sighed, a sad expression overcoming her face as she sat on the edge of his bed.

“She tunes me out. She tunes us all out.” She brightened then, smiling mischievously.

“Though I did visit her in her room the other night and turned the lights on for her when she asked. Then continued to follow her and ‘light her path’.”

William had to chuckle, “You’re like a kid.”

“Well! You die and see how great it is when your own sister shuts you out.”

William sighed, “What about when you died? A nice visit then to have let her known instead of having to hear from your mother? She told me what that woman said.”

Dru sighed and waved her hand, “Closed me off.” She looked up at him. “You’d think I’d penetrate, seeing as how I’m her sister and all. When that woman sets her mind to something, she follows through I tell you.”

William grinned, “So I’m learning.”

“Just admit it, come on. You’re taken with her,” Dru pressed excitedly. William expected her to start clapping and bouncing up and down like a schoolgirl at any moment.

He said nothing.

“You’re no fun,” Dru pouted, then turned serious. “You haven’t convinced her yet.”

“I’m working on it.”

“Work harder. I don’t want her to die, William.”

“I don’t get it Dru. Buffy is not the type to fall into the wrong crowd or get stuck in some bad relationship—“

“Loneliness can wreak havoc. Buffy won’t admit it, even to herself, how lonely she is. I just see her trying to fill herself up with all the wrong things and it all ending tragically. She can’t go back there, William, she can’t. She must stay here. With you.”

“What do you mean with me?” William demanded.

Dru smiled and began to fade. “You know what I mean.”

Buffy slowly opened her eyes, yawning her wakefulness to the ceiling and stretching. She’d slept well, right through the night. Frowning in concentration, she tried to remember even going to bed. She couldn’t. The last thing she remembered was leaving the restaurant with William. She furrowed her brow, odd that. She didn’t like that. Somehow she’d lost her faculties and that wouldn’t do. Sitting up in bed, she rubbed her eyes and noticed she was fully dressed still.

Did I fall asleep on him? Did he drug me? Okay, moron, if he drugged you to take advantage of you, he wouldn’t have left you with your dress on. She pondered that. Or would he have to throw her off? Get a grip Summers. You’re out of your mind. Are you that paranoid that you’d think William would actually do something like that?

It wasn’t as if she knew him well enough to make that judgment call, however, he had been friends with her sister, and yet her sister was –

Get a grip, Buffy!

Climbing out of bed, she changed quickly into a pair of running pants and a t-shirt. Pulling her hair back in a ponytail, she set off to the kitchen. Her stomach was loud and in charge.

Padding to the kitchen, she burst in, rubbing her belly at it growled and yawning.

“Sleep well?”

She nearly jumped out of her skin as she let out a screech and found William munching on cereal. “I sent Edina away,” William told her. “I don’t like anyone being around me first thing in the morning. Well, not strangers anyway. How are you?”

She stared at him, “What are you doing here? You came over for breakfast? Don’t you have food in your place?”

He chuckled, “Buffy, I spent the night.”

“Where?” she demanded, her heart racing.

“In one of the guest rooms,” he stood, “Did you think we--?”

She suddenly had dry mouth. She shook her head, “Just forget what I think.”

He came over to her, carrying his bowl. “Buffy, if that happened, trust me, you would remember for certain,” he said huskily in her ear.

She said nothing, her eyes widening as what he said settled in her mind. “Uh, so, what made you stay? What happened exactly?”
Placing his bowl in the dishwasher, he turned, leaning his bottom against the counter. “You fell asleep last night on the ride home and I – I didn’t want to leave you.”

“Why not? You could have. Was I drunk or something?”

“No, well, maybe a little tipsy.”

“And you carried me up to bed?”

He smiled, “I did. And tucked you in. Didn’t look at your goodies, so don’t worry. I didn’t want you to think I’d just dropped you and ran, so I stayed in a guest room.”

Buffy blinked, “Why?”

“I just told you why. I didn’t want you to think I ran out on you.”

“But, William, why? I mean, I wouldn’t have thought you were rude in fact it was pretty chivalrous of you to carry me upstairs. I must weigh a ton.”

“On the contrary, you’re light as a feather. You need to eat more.”

She raised a brow, “You a doctor now too?”

He grinned, “No, just a friend.”

“Oh, really,” she said warily.

“Yes, really. So, can I make you some breakfast?”

In response, her stomach growled. She looked up at him sheepishly.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“William, really, you don’t –“

He put a finger on her lips, shushing her. “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”

She furrowed her brow, “Okay.”

Now he tapped the space between her brow with his finger. “Why the crease?”

She stared up at him, at the blue of his eyes, thinking just how incredibly blue his eyes really were. He was cute, she decided. Well, hot, but cute this morning. His clothes were all rumpled, his hair all tousled, and he just looked so cute.

William didn’t think she realized that she was leaning into him as she peered up at him. He felt her body heat, so close was she. Gazing into her eyes, he saw uncertainty and sadness.

“Buffy,” he murmured.

“Hmmm?”

He smiled gently and while he didn’t want to frighten her, he also found he couldn’t resist how cute she looked, how vulnerable and sleep rumpled. Leaning in, he quickly pecked her cheek. “Eggs? Bacon? Sausage? All of the above?” he asked quickly, not wanting to give her time to think about what he’d just done.

She jumped back and touched her cheek; as if she wasn’t certain that he’d kissed it. She opened her mouth to say something and he was sure it was about the kiss.

“Or do you want pancakes? Ever have pancakes from scratch? It was Dru’s favorite when I made them for her.”

“What were you doing making Dru breakfast?” she nearly sputtered.

He grinned; he got her off the kiss right fast. “She often liked pancakes for dinner.”

“Oh.”

“And if I had made her breakfast?” he asked, unable to resist teasing her.

She glared at him. “Do you need any help?”

He smiled, “Sure. You want to grab the eggs and milk, and I’ll grab the rest?”

“Sure.”

Heading to the fridge, Buffy opened it and once again pressed a hand to her cheek where he had kissed her. Dru’s voice came into his mind, her teasing from last night. You’re smitten with her!

He supposed he just might be.

********

The voices were getting louder and more persistent. Buffy had been doing so-so at keeping even their whispering at bay, but today they seemed louder than ever. William had gone home some time after breakfast and Buffy didn’t want to admit it, but she was sad to see him go. The pang of loneliness she felt as she watched him walk to his car was sharp.

“That won’t do,” she’d said to herself and ran up to her room to shower.

She’d gone for a walk on the grounds after, then discovered the library and selected a book. She had settled into a chaise lounge to read when the chattering began. Ignoring them, she moved out of the library and down the hall. Silence greeted her for a few blessed moments until they started up again. She ran down the hall and into her room, and still they continued. Frustrated, she ran to the formal room, the dining room, and the sitting room until finally she ran outside, screaming. Literally screaming her frustration. Putting her hands over her ears, the hot tears cascaded down her cheeks as images came unbidden to her mind. Faces, faces she knew were of the ghosts that haunted her, that followed her, that wanted her to recognize them. Among them – Dru. That made her let out an anguished cry and she sobbed even harder. The one thing she hated was what her sister had become – how was that for a cruel twist of fate?

“Miss!” Edina was shouting to her.

“Leave me alone!” Buffy screamed at her and rocked as she sat and cried.

She didn’t know how long it took, but finally the images in her mind stopped, and she’d squeezed her eye so tight, she thought her eyelids would bleed. Slowly, she took her hands off her ears and took a shuddering breath.

William’s car was barreling down the driveway. She watched him, mesmerized, as he skidded to a stop, cut the engine and jumped out. She watched him, wide-eyed, run to her. He looked panicked.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, standing up.

“You! What’s wrong with you?” he exclaimed, grabbing her arms and studying her.

“What?” she asked, completely bewildered.

“Edina called me in a panic. She said you were out here screaming and crying, rocking back and forth. She said you’d been running through the house, acting like a madwoman. What the bloody hell is going on, Buffy?”

Swallowing, she cursed the fresh batch of tears that were coming. She shook her head, letting the lump form in her throat.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

“Th-the ghosts. They were so loud in my head and they wouldn’t leave me be. I kept running and trying to get away and they wouldn’t let me,” she shook her head. “And then I saw them in my head. I saw them and I – I saw Dru. I just wanted them to go away and I miss her so much and I...I didn’t know what to do!”

She sobbed and he pulled her in his arms, cradling her against him. When her sobs quieted, her forced her to look up at him, placing his hand under her chin. He looked straight in her green orbs and said definitively. “This ends now.”

Buffy looked up at him wide-eyed. “What do you mean this ends now? Are we going to get someone here to exorcise them out?”

William shook his head, his face a mask of regret, as if he hated what he was about to tell her. “No, luv, this means that you have to give a little.”

She shoved him away from her. “Me? I have to? I have to –what? Let them in? Hell, no,” she shook her head and walked away from him, annoyed.

Grabbing her arm, he hauled her back to him, startling her. “No, Buffy, that’s not going to work. See? You push me away and I just come back for more. Well, they’re the same way. Why do you think they got so loud, hmm? Because they are begging you to acknowledge them. You can’t hide from them forever.”

“Wanna bet?” she challenged and tugged her arm back to her person. “You can leave now, William.”

He grabbed her again. “It doesn’t work that way, pet.”

She spun to face him. “You just want me to be her. Admit it, you were in love with her and you just want me to be a carbon copy of her!”

“Buffy, that’s not true,” he said evenly.

“Isn’t it? It’s why you want me to stay, it’s why you want to spend time with me. It’s not really me, it’s her.”

He shook his head, “You’re wrong. This is about you. About what you need, about what is good for you.”

“Then go away and let me handle this on my –“

“Except you’re not handling it, are you? Instead you frighten those around you—“

“It’s better than being frightened myself!” she burst out, and was horrified when the tears started. Such a weakness, she heard her mother say in her mind, You’re such a baby. You’ll never be a woman. She was fighting to keep them in, and losing horribly. Instead, they came out in choked sobs and she tried desperately to free herself from William’s iron grasp.

But he wouldn’t budge. He held on.

“Let go of me!” she yelled at him.

He shook his head, “No.” Instead, he brought her closer and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close to him.

She froze in his arms. What was he doing? What was this?

“It’s a hug, Buffy,” he said as if reading her thoughts. “And now you put your arms around me and hug me back.”

She did nothing except stand there, her arms awkwardly bent and tilted up, kind of like a mannequin or Barbie doll. She stared over his shoulder, feeling utterly out of place.

“Buffy,” he said demandingly, “hug me back.”

“No.”

“Then I’m going to hold on to you until you do.”

Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him, and once she did, he chuckled into her neck, sending pleasant vibrations through her body and making her shiver.

“Why?” she whispered.

“Why what?”

“Why are you hugging me?”

“Because I want to prove to you, it’s not your sister I’m here for, it’s you.”

“Okay, then. Point taken. Point driven home, you can let go now.”

“No.”

“Why not?” she demanded.

“Because you need this. You never got held did you?”

She said nothing, just shut her eyes. No, she never had. Only Dru hugged her, and Buffy would always nervously push her away.

“You need to be held,” he murmured. “You need it. . . see how you fit in my arms as if you were made to be… You should be held. Cared for.”

“William?”

“I wish I could have been around to see you grow up. Your parents are monsters, you know that?”

“Yeah, I think I got that memo.”

“The fact that they never showed you how special you are…” he shook his head and pulled back slightly to look at her.

His blue eyes were piercing straight into her. “Have you ever been in love before, Buffy?”

“What do you think?”

He smiled and pushed some hair from her face, “I’ll take that as a no.”

“You think I’m crazy.”

“You keep thinking I think that. Would it make you feel better if I thought that?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because then maybe I’d have some kind of proof that I am.”

He shook his head, “You’re not crazy. You’re stubborn as hell is what you are.”

“I can’t help it.”

He nodded, keeping his gaze intent on her. “I know. But you see, I’m stubborn too and I’m not going to let you fight me and win all the time. Some things, like acknowledging these ghosts here, I won’t let you win on.”

“William—“

“However, I will allow you some space from it.”

“You’ll allow me? Obviously Dru never told you that I don’t take orders well.”

“Oh, she did,” he said lightly, smiling. “Look, I have an idea.”

“Do any of those ideas have to do with you letting me go at any time?”

“In the immediate future? No. Here’s my idea: Why don’t you pack a bag for a couple nights and come stay with me. Just for a couple nights. I have a spare bedroom—Why are you shaking your head?”

“Why do you think? The answer is no.”

“Give me one good reason. You want to stay here and have them all badgering you again? This time Edina won’t call me, she’ll call the men in the white suits to take you away.”

She took pause and he saw that opening and forged ahead. “Just come for a couple days. That’s all. Get away from the stress. You said this place depressed you, so get away from it and come stay with me. Some time away will give you some perspective.”

She worried her bottom lip with her teeth, and he had the urge to take that bottom lip in his mouth and suck on it. Not being able to do that, he just held her tighter.

She looked up at him, studying him thoughtfully. She was weighing it in her mind, he knew.

“You’re not weak, Buffy,” he murmured. “You’re not. You need a break. You’re human. Humans need breaks. Pardon my language, but fuck your bloody parents. They didn’t know what the hell they were doing.”

“Sad how normal Dru turned out, and how fucked up I turned out huh?” she commented dryly. “Well, as normal as she could be anyway.”

“You’re not fucked up.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You were just conditioned one way for so long—“

“Thank you, Freud.”

“So, what will it be?”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “Okay, I’ll go. For two days. But, none of this.”

“Of what?”

“This hugging thing.”

He laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Releasing her, he opened his arms wide at his sides. “Better?”

She eyes him wearily. “Yes.”

“Okay then. Come, I’ll help you pack,” and now he took her hand. He couldn’t help himself, he just felt the urge to touch her, if not for him and his own selfish needs, than to help her get used to it.

He was going to hug her, all right. He was going to hug her often. Beyond that, he didn’t know, but it’d be baby steps for both of them.

And, after struggling with him a bit to get her hand back, she finally relented and let him just hold it. He nearly felt like whistling some lovestruck sod, but instead, opted to not draw attention to that victory.

He was a man on a mission to get her to stay before. Now, he was a man on a mission to break down her walls, and break them down he would.

She was hesitant still, and if he heard one more time about “not wanting to put him out”, he was going to scream.

“I didn’t peg you as someone that lived in a cottage,” she said as he pulled into his driveway.

He smiled, “Well, it’s larger inside than it looks from the outside. I just like to give the illusion of a cottage. It’s much cozier that way.”

She raised a perfectly arched brow, “Cozy? I thought men didn’t like ‘cozy’.”

He laughed, “I’m not like most men, Buffy. I like cozy and comfortable. I gave up being the bare-walled and hardly any furniture bachelor a long time ago.”

“So you’re fully decorated, with lots of furniture and every spot on the wall covered?”

He smiled and cut the engine. “I am.”

Climbing out of the car, he watched her uneasily climb out as well. She seemed so weak and vulnerable to him at that moment, and all he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and somehow lend her his strength. Catching him looking at her, she cocked her head to the side.

“What?”

He shook his head, “Nothing. Buffy, have you eaten since I made breakfast?”

She shook her head sheepishly, “No. I haven’t.”

“While you’re settling, I’ll make us something to eat.”

“William—“

“Don’t start. You’re my guest – no, scratch that.”

“Scratch that?”

“I want you to feel at home here. If you want something, don’t hesitate to get it. I don’t want you feeling like you have to ask me every time you want something to drink or eat. I also don’t want you to deny yourself because you feel you’re putting me out. Got it?”

“Sounds good in theory, but you know it won’t happen that way, don’t you?”

He grinned. “I had a feeling. I’ll just badger you until you cave.”

She gave him a tiny smile, “And how are you going to badger me?”

“I’ll ask you every five minutes if you want something. I’ll drive you completely crazy until you yell at me that you’ll get it yourself and then do it.”

She laughed then, and it was music to his ears. He grinned broadly, watching how her eyes crinkled at the corners, how her smile was so incredibly brilliant and genuine and how it made her positively glow. Radiant, he thought.

“I’ll work on it,” she told him and opened the back door, grabbing for her suitcases.

Opening the door on the other side, he shooed her away. “I’ve got them.”

“Who am I to argue?” she said, peering up at him over her suitcases.

He gave her a look and she laughed again.

Going to get her to do that more often, he thought.

********

His house was rather large inside. It was a mix of modern and classic. It was comfortably furnished and homey with large spacious rooms, and rich colors that instantly had her taking a deep, relaxing breath. Each room seemed to glide into the next one, a kind of perfect Feng Shui. She felt peace settle over her. She felt safe.

“What are you thinking?” William asked, watching her take in her surroundings.

“It’s nice here,” she breathed. “Very cozy.”

He grinned, “Told you. Come on, your room is just beyond the sitting room. Down the hall, and first door on your right,” he told her as he led her down the wide hallway.

“Kind of like Peter Pan. First star on the right and straight on till morning?”

He grinned at her, but said nothing. She noticed, but did not take in the pictures that adorned the walls in the hall, and decided to do that later. Entering what was to be her room, she felt suddenly tired. She chalked it up to the calming affect of the room. It was ocean blue, and the bed a queen sized with a white comforter and what looked like ocean blue underneath. The pillows spilled out from the headboard and Buffy saw herself getting lost in the sea of pillows and blankets. Pictures on the wall were of the ocean and the beach. There was even an anchor mounted on the wall.

“Nautical theme,” Buffy breathed and strode to the huge windows at the head of the bed, the gauzy white curtains shedding sunlight into the room, inviting her to look outside.

“You like it?”

She looked over at him and nodded. “It’s really gorgeous, William.”

He smiled broadly. “Thank you. There’s a closet over in the corner, a bureau and a nightstand for you. There’s a mirror over the bureau and you have a bathroom right over there.”

Her eyes followed him fluidly around the room as he pointed. She nodded. “Thank you.”

“I want you to feel at home.”

“I already do,” she murmured.

“Do you want to freshen up? Take a shower or something?”

“Um, yes, I think so. Do you need any help with – what are you making?”

“How about something easy like pasta?”

“That’s fine, William.”

“If you’re done and you don’t want to stay in here alone, come on out and keep me company.”

“Yes, that sounds fine, thank you.”

He sighed, “Buffy.”

“Hmmm?”

“Stop thanking me, and stop sounding like I’m your landlord or something, okay?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”

Looking at her, looking at how tired and uncertain she appeared, William couldn’t take it anymore. Striding across the room, he cupped the side of her face, making her look up at him. Her eyes were uncertain and hesitant, as if he were afraid of what he might do.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he murmured.

“I know.”

“I just want to help you.”

She said nothing, just averted her eyes from him.

Dropping his hand to her waist, he pulled her into him and held her. She froze for a minute and then relaxed and tentatively, as if she were afraid to touch him, placed her hands on him, not quite a hug, but better than before at least.

“You need to be hugged,” he reaffirmed to her.

“I’m not used to it.”

“I can tell.”

“Sor—“

“Don’t.”

“Sor—“

“Buffy,” he said, admonishing her. Pulling back, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come see me when you’re done. Take as long as you need.”

She nodded, seeming afraid to say anything for fear of being admonished for being too polite. William fought the urge to chuckle at that and left her alone.

********

“Can I ask you a question?” Buffy asked later after dinner as they sipped wine and relaxed.

“Sure.”

“Your house – did you decorate it or did Winifred?”

He cleared his throat, “Fred—that’s what I called her—she did.”

“Does it bother you to talk about her?”

“Not at all.”

“How did you meet her?”

“At a pub of all places. She was new to England.”

“Oh?”

“She was American.”

“Oh. Interesting. You have a thing for American women?” she blurted out and then her eyes widened in horror. Placing her glass down, she started to apologize for that slip. “I don’t know why I said that, I’m really sorry—“

“Buffy, I’m not offended, it’s okay. It would seem that I do have a ‘thing’ for American women, wouldn’t it? It just so happens that it’s coincidence, my involvement with them,” he explained easily.

“You were very much in love with her huh?”

He looked down at the table, nodding slowly, “I was, yes.”

“The pictures in the hall – are any of them her?”

“Why are you curious about Fred?”

She shrugged. “I feel like you know so much about me and I know just the bare essentials about you. I was thinking if you wanted to try that friend thing then it’s kind of my responsibility to know more, don’t you?”

He smirked, “Try that friend thing? Haven’t we already been doing that ‘friend thing’? Or did you just decide for certain to try it?”

She smiled guiltily, and stood. “So, can I help you clean up?”

William laughed out loud. “Oh, Buffy. What am I going to do with you?”

“Send me off to the loony bin?”

Shaking his head, William helped her clean the table.

********

After cleaning up, William took her in the hallway and named the people in the photo’s on the wall, and then showed her pictures in an album of Fred.

“She’s quite pretty,” Buffy muttered. “Kind of reminds me of Dru with the dark hair.”

“I don’t think Dru would have liked her.”

Buffy looked at him in surprise. “Why not?”

“Fred was too timid for Dru.”

Buffy laughed for the second time that day. “Are you saying that Dru wouldn’t have patience for Fred?”

“Exactly. Dru liked to tell it how it was; she couldn’t stand beating around the bush.”

“Yes,” Buffy remarked dryly, “Even when she herself did it. Especially when she was trying to tell you your future. Which, I have to tell you, she was horrible at that.”

William eyed her. “Was she?”

“She got some things right, but she saw more . . . long term than short term. So, while you’re waiting for this one event to happen, a dozen other things happen in the interim and you end up forgetting what the big thing that was supposed to happen was. However, she herself would admit that sometimes the future was hazy. I mean, everyone has free will, right?”

“Right.”

“So, technically, you could have many roads in front of you depending upon the choices you make.”

“So one small choice could lead you into an entirely different path than the one ‘seen’?”

“Right. It’s a crap chute really. However, I do believe that there are certain things that are destined to happen no matter what choice you make.”

Closing the album, William looked at her and smiled. “Some telly?”

She nodded, “Sure.”

*******

She didn’t last long at all. She was out after a mere half hour into some crap movie. Sitting on the couch together, he knew the exact moment she fell asleep because her head dropped to his shoulder.

Something Buffy would never do awake.

Looking down at her, he smiled and ran a hand through her long hair. So soft, he thought and wondered what else about her was soft and inviting.

He pondered what she told him about Dru and getting her ‘fortune telling’ wrong, and wondered if he’d been set up by the ghost, or if what she saw was legitimate. He supposed that it had to be legitimate for if Buffy made the choice to stay, she would be safe. However, with the way things had been going as of late, with her fighting off her ability and being ‘called out’ by the spirits in her home, William had to wonder what sort of fate awaited Buffy if she stayed. Would that mean she would eventually accept her lot, or would another avenue open up – and would it be favorable or harmful?

“Dru,” he murmured, “If you can hear me, I need to talk with you. It’s about your sister and what fate awaits her if she stays. I need to make sure she’ll be all right . . . if you can in fact gauge that.”

Buffy stirred against him, and not wanting to wake her, William rested his head back on the couch and wrapped his arm around her, cradling her close. Yawning, he stared up at the ceiling, thinking of Buffy and what was to become of her – and what was to become of him – if she stayed.

Within minutes, he too was asleep.

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open slowly while she stretched – and felt a body next to her. Her eyes flew open and to the side. She gasped and shot up at the sight of William next to her, holding her -- moaning into her neck, and promptly fell off the couch.

She groaned as her rump made contact with the floor.

“What the –“ William was awake and peering down at her. “What are you doing?”

“I fell off the couch, what are you doing?”

“I’m – what do you mean what am I doing?”

“How did we end up on the couch together like that? Sleeping together.”

William stared at her as if she’d gone mad. “You fell asleep, and then I did. We fell asleep together on the couch you daft cow.”

She blinked and pointed at him, “You just call me a cow?”

He rolled his eyes and sat up, “It doesn’t mean that I think you’re an actual cow, Buffy. Far from it with how – Would you get up off the floor?”

She scrambled to her feet. “Why are you angry with me?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not.”

“Yes! You are. You called me a daft cow and you’re all . . . snappy. Why are you so angry with me when I’m the one who fell off the damn couch.”

He stood and placed himself in front of her so that there were mere inches between them. “And why did you fall off the couch, Princess?”

“Because I woke up and we – we were –“

“Sleeping together on the couch. Is the idea so horrendous to you?”

She started to take a step back from him and he reached out and held her fast where she was. “Well?” he demanded.

“Let go of me!” she exclaimed and shook him off. “What’s gotten into you?”

William sighed heavily, and ran a hand through his wild curly locks. “Nothing. I don’t know…I’m sorry. Just forget it. I should have…I should have brought you to bed, but I didn’t want to wake you since you’d just fallen asleep and without the aid of alcohol. I ended up falling asleep too.”

Buffy nodded, looking down and swallowing hard. “Well, I mean, I slept really good if that’s any consolation.”

“Buffy—“

She looked up at him and was startled to find such a tender expression on his face. His eyes spoke of longing and it frightened her. She took one full step back, nervously running a hand through her hair. “Yeah?”

He shook his head again and sighed. “Why don’t you shower and whatnot? I’ll make breakfast. What would you like?”

Looking up at him sheepishly, she smiled slightly. “Could you make those pancakes again?”

He grinned, “I sure can.”

*******

“Lost it a bit this morning huh?”

William nearly dropped the eggs he was carrying to the counter when Dru appeared, sitting on said counter, swinging her ghostly legs.

He glared at her. “Must you scare me? Just because you’re a ghost doesn’t mean you have to scare me to death – no pun intended – every time you decide to show yourself.”

Dru laughed. “It’s not always up to me when I show up, William. Spirits are energy, and I use a lot of it when I appear. I have to gather that energy back to show myself again. Kind like recharging my batteries.”

“Oh.”

“So, lost it this morning?”

“Lurking were you?”

“I was passing through.”

“Right. Dru, do me a favor?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t lurk.”

“I said I was—“

“You heard me.”

“Yes, sir,” she grumbled.

“I didn’t lose it…I…yeah, okay I lost it.”

“Because…?”

“I don’t want to tell you,” he muttered, cracking the eggs into the bowl.

“Tell me!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Okay, let me guess…you liked sleeping with my sister and you were offended that her ‘delicate sensibilities’ had been disrupted by your sleeping together.”

“Add in an erotic dream about her, and you have it.”

Dru giggled, “I knew it! Will you admit it now?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No. If and when I admit anything, Dru, it will be to your sister first.”

“Oh, yes, I can see that going over well. Maybe you should run it by me first and I can tell you how it sounds.”

“No. I don’t want to have to run something by you in every step of my relationship with Buffy—“ he stopped and glared at her.

Dru was laughing, “Got you to admit it! A relationship with my sister?”

He continued to glare. “I admitted nothing. A friendship is a relationship, no?”

“Do you have erotic dreams about all your friends?”

“Oh, shut up,” he grumbled, massacring the mix with his whisk. Then he stopped. “Dru. Buffy told me something quite interesting last night and if you can get off of me and Buffy for a minute, I’d like to run it by you.”

“Shoot,” she shrugged.

“She said you were crappy at pin pointing futures.”

Dru wrinkled her nose, “Said that, did she?”

“Yeah, and it’s got me wondering – is she going to be all right if she stays? You only see what happens if she doesn’t, but what if she does – and were you just setting me up?”

“Hmmm…that’s a long list of questions,” Dru murmured, “Where would you like me to start?”

“How about with her safety?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t. Everything is up in the air right now. She hasn’t decided whether or not she’ll stay.”

“Christ.”

“So, let’s add this up shall we?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

Dru merely smiled and held up her hand. “You rush over to see her yesterday,” she said and ticked off a finger.

“And you’d do well to tell your friends to leave her the bloody hell alone until she’s ready. And that goes for you as well.”

Dru ticked off another finger, “You brought her to your home.”

“Dru…”

“And you had an erotic dream about her, and then you were offended when she didn’t share your sentiments this morning.”

“The lurking, Dru. I mean it.”

“I know, I know, I know. But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you and – oh, here she comes!” And with that, Dru evaporated.

Buffy came storming into the kitchen, her eyes wild, looking about her cautiously. William watched her, his heart racing. “You all right?” he asked.

“I thought I felt … heard…” she shook her head, “nevermind.”

“Heard….felt….what?”

“Dru,” she murmured.

William opened his mouth, thinking he might just tell her, but then thought better of it. If he told her that Dru visited him, that she had implored his help, Buffy would be outraged. She’d accuse him of only helping her because of her sister and not because of her. And while it had started out that way, it wasn’t that way anymore. Dru could beg him all she wanted to help Buffy, but it had nothing to do with Dru’s wants for her sister at this point. It had to do with wanting to help Buffy because he cared for her.

How it happened, and how fast it was happening still, stunned him, but he couldn’t help it. She was burrowing under his skin and he couldn’t seem to stop it, no matter how hard he tried. He was drowning all right, and fast. There were things about the world, about people and their compassion, about love and about relationships and caring that he wanted to teach her; show her. She’d been locked up in the ivory tower of her own fear for far too long and he wanted nothing more than to release her.

“Do you think she’s followed you here?” William asked.

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s very persistent.”

“As persistent as you are stubborn?”

She smirked, “Some might say.”

“Do you feel comfortable here, Buffy?”

She nodded, “I do.”

“More than at the mansion?”

Her nose wrinkled, “Yes.”

He smiled, “Then I have an idea.”

“Oh?”

“If you feel Dru here, then maybe it’s because she’s…lurking.” He was going to get it for that one, he knew it. “So, maybe instead of taking on all the ghosts that haunt the mansion, you could start with her. Here. Talk to her here and –“

She held up her hand, “Just…stop, William.”

“Will you at least consider it?”

Pursing her lips together, Buffy told him tightly, “Sure.”

“Are you saying that just to pacify me?”

“Maybe.”

“Guess I’ll have to settle with a ‘maybe’ then.”

“Guess so. So, where are the plates? I’ll set the table.”

William sighed inwardly and directed her to where the plates and utensils were. She was a stubborn one all right, but that was all right. He was stubborn too, she just didn’t know how stubborn yet.

Chapter Eleven

After breakfast, William had showered and dressed and informed Buffy he had to go into the office for a bit to check emails and voice mails, and asked her if she wanted to join him. She’d declined, but they’d made plans to go into town once he returned.

While he was away, Buffy felt the allure of her bed. Her guest bed. Laying down and shutting her eyes to just relax, she ended up falling asleep.

“Buffy, luv, wake up. I’m back.”

Buffy rolled over sleepily, blinking until her eyes were clear. “William?”

“It’s me. I’m back now. Did you want to go into town for a bit?”

“Sure,” she said, but made no move to leave her bed.

He chuckled. “Thought you said you slept well last night.”

“I did, but while you were gone I felt the urge to lay down and I…yeah, fell asleep.”

“Feel better?”

“I feel lazy. I feel as though I haven’t slept in a long time.”

“Do you want me to let you sleep more?”

“No, no…It’s not that I want to sleep more right now, I just feel like…I feel like ever since Dru’s death, I’ve just being going, going, going, and being here…” she blushed, “being here, I feel like I can finally rest.”

He smiled broadly and reached out, running his fingers through her hair. “I’m glad.”

She studied him, watched his face as he ran his fingers through her hair and seemed to get lost in the action. “Will?”

“Mmmm?”

“Do you find my hair fascinating?” she asked lightly.

“I find you fascinating,” he murmured.

She truly did not know what to say, and all she could feel was her heart start to race, and her mouth going dry. She licked her lips and William’s gaze darted to her lips. “Buffy,” he murmured.

“Y-yeah?”

“Have you ever been kissed?”

“W-what?” she asked, in a near panic.

“Have you ever been…” and he didn’t bother to finish that sentence, instead, he leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against her. His lips were soft, demanding, and sweet. “Kiss me back, Buffy,” he whispered against her lips and she opened her mouth to tell him she didn’t quite know what to do, and he used that opportunity to suck her bottom lip in his mouth and then deepen the kiss.

She heard a moan, and she had to wonder if it was from her or him. She felt drugged on sensation – the sensations he was producing within her. So this was what all the fuss was about –

“Buffy, luv, I’m back. Wake up.”

Didn’t they already go through this? Her eyes flew open to question him and then widened when she noticed William sitting on her bed just as he had been a mere minute before.

She felt her cheeks get hot and redden. Oh God, that was a dream. She’d been dreaming of kissing William!

She sat up abruptly, “I’m up!”

He jumped a bit at her exuberance. “I see that. Are you all right?”

She nodded profusely, “Just uh, just fell asleep for a bit.”

“I saw that. Good nap?”

She nodded, “So uh, are you done with work?”

“I am. You want to go into town still?”

“I do, yes.”

“You’re a little jumpy…something happen?”

“Oh, nothing,” she said lightly and scrambled out of bed. “Just need to brush my hair.”

He gave her an odd look, but said nothing before he walked out the room, leaving her to expel a deep breath. “Get a grip, Summers,” she muttered to herself.


********

Spending the day with William had been fun, Buffy mused as they made the ride back to his home. He made her laugh. A feat within itself, she thought, chuckling to herself. He'd shown her around town, pointing out great restraunts to try, and the hot spots of the city. He took her into a bookstore and bought her a guide for the area and surrounding towns. He showed her historical sites and explained the history behind them. Blushing inwardly, Buffy thought she could listen to William recite the Gettysburg address and be perfectly content.

She felt relaxed for possibly the first time in her life, and funnily enough that was what made her slightly panic. She felt something slipping from her and she wasn't quite sure what it was, only that it was something she usually had wrapped around her tight. Perhaps it was much like the armor she'd seen on a mannequin that day.

"Making you laugh," William told her, "makes me feel like a God."

That startled her. "Pardon?"

"You don't laugh much, I can tell. And when I can make you laugh, it makes me feel like a God."

"Oh...kay."

"You're fascinating to me."

Her dream came back with those words and she started. "I'm boring."

He laughed, "Far from."

"Really, I am. Nothing exciting about me. I work, I...work...I ...yeah, that's it."

"You can see and hear ghosts."

"Which I spend most of my time avoiding doing."

"But you can do it."

"That should not be the complete basis for me being fascinating. Did you find Dru just as fascinating?"

"Yes and no. I found Dru to be exuberant, much like a child."

Buffy smiled fondly. "That she was. Two sisters couldn't be more different."

"I think you could exuberant in your own way."

"Oh?"

"Maybe exuberant isn't the right word. Passionate, I think, is the right word."

"Passionate?" Buffy snorted. "That's a good one."

"Well, you already are, in a sense. You're passionate about not talking to those pesky spirits."

"I don't know if that's passionate so much as scared."

"Why does it frighten you so?"

"You talk to dead people much William?"

He sat up straighter and cleared his throat, "No."

"It's ...unnerving. You suddenly see someone that isn't supposed to be there. Say, when you're alone in your apartment. Or you're on the subway and someone starts talking to you and you talk back, only to find out that they're dead and everyone thinks you're a loon. Try being able to go into a place and feel unsettled, that either those spirits desperately want to talk with you, or they desperately want you out. Or being woken up in the middle of the night because they figured out that you can hear and talk to them and they have important messages for their families -- some of whom might be on the other side of the world."

"I never thought of it that way."

"How could you? You don't have it."

"Don't you think there has to be a happy medium somewhere?"

"You're pushy, you know that?"

"I'm an attorney. I'm supposed to be."

"Well, I don't like it," she huffed and turned away from him.

He looked over at her. "You're...You are. You're pouting!"

"I am not."

"You are!"

"William--"

"It's cute."

He could tell she didn't know what to do with that and instead remained silent. Yep, Buffy Summers was a lot of things he was finding out, and among them -- cute.

“William, can I ask you a question?” Buffy asked later over dinner as they sat on the floor of his sitting room having sandwiches and chips. It’d started to rain some, and William had been adamant about wanting to have a picnic. She wondered if he was always like this; always this optimistic and exuberant or if he was trying to make things as light for her as possible. Whatever the reason was, she was happy for it, if not slightly suspicious.

“You can ask me anything,” William told and took a big bite off a pickle.

“With all the cases that Dru helped solve – did she ever get any backlash for it? You know, from families of the guilty? She would never tell me such things because she never wanted me to worry, so I was just wondering if you knew. You’d tell me, right?”

William smiled at her, “Yeah, I’d tell you. Well, she did come across individuals that were outraged, mostly out of shock that their friend or their family member could have done something so horrible, but she didn’t have any real problems with them. Those individuals were too caught up in the drama of how to help their loved one get out of the mess they were in to pay too much attention to Dru.”

“What about the criminals themselves?”

“Letters from prison were the extent of it, and those were few and far in between. Dru took to throwing them away once she realized whom they were from.”

“She led a charmed life, didn’t she?” Buffy said wryly.

“What makes you say that?”

“Things have a way of working out for her. I suppose it’s because she had more guts than I did. I preferred to retreat to the background and just blend into the wall. That was never good enough for Dru though, and rightly so. She had more daring, she was exuberant and full of life, people wanted to be around her. I was just the freak.”

“Buffy—“

“There was an incident once while I was in college. This girl had been found, shot in the head on the campus track. Her boyfriend was the prime suspect since they’d had a huge argument that night and the whole world it seemed had witnessed it. Not to mention, rumors had already been flying around about him and how he was abusive to this girl. I was in class with her sister the day her body was found and the news was delivered. I remember hearing her crying and screaming as if someone was ripping her insides out down the hall. And I remember most of all, her sister standing in front of me telling me that her boyfriend hadn’t done it. That she’d committed suicide and in her haste to get to the track before anyone could stop and talk to her, she’d left the note on her desk. She informed me that the note had fallen to the back of her desk –seemed she’d checked after she . . . realized she was . . . dead. She told me she’d been floating above her body and thinking that it was quite extreme of her to do and that everyone would probably blame her boyfriend. She wanted me to be the one to let them know he was innocent and that she’d done herself in. Even in death, she wanted to protect that abusive boyfriend.”

William stared at her, his eyes wide, concern and shock etched on his handsome features. “Wh—what did you do?”

“I was the freak, right? No one would believe me and I knew it. I left a note at the Dean’s office telling them where the note was. They found it and it helped in the case. Her boyfriend was released from custody and the family mourned her suicide.”

“Buffy, that was helping—“

“No it wasn’t. I was a coward. I didn’t go to the authorities. I didn’t even tell Dru. But what I think is something that could make me even more of a freak, even more of an outcast, is something that Dru turns into a successful career move. She’s got the Midas touch.” Buffy stood, grabbing her plate, “Everything I touch turns to shit,” she muttered and stalked off to the kitchen.

Getting up immediately, William was hot on her heels, following her into the kitchen. She placed her plate in the sink and spun to him. “What?”

He said nothing, but grabbed her and hauled her in his arms.

“Will—“

“I’m not turning to shit,” he whispered, “and you’ve touched me.”

Her eyes welled up in tears. “William, please—“

“It’s okay, Buffy, let it out. It’s okay. You’ve got a safe place to land here.”

“I – I can’t – I –“

“You don’t know how to cry?”

“I – can’t – let—go,” she said, stumbling on her words. “I’ll be…I’ll be weak.”

“Bullocks! I bawled my eyes out the day Fred died, and I bawled the day Dru died too – and I’m a man. I’m not ‘supposed’ to cry. Does that make me weak?”

She shook her head.

“Then cry, damn it.”

She laughed now through the tears that were in fact falling from her eyes.

He looked at her, wiping the tears away tenderly, gazing into her face imploringly. “You’re such a special woman, Buffy, you are.”

She shook her head, “No, I’m not. Dru was, I was just. . . there.”

He studied her thoughtfully then. “You’re jealous of her.”

She shut her eyes tight, “Yes,” she admitted hoarsely. “And I have no right to be. She’s gone and I – I shouldn’t feel that way anymore. She grew up in the same house and she turned out fine. What’s wrong with me that I didn’t? That I never felt normal, being able to talk to ghosts aside. I always felt as if I were on the outside looking in and I so much wanted to be part of everything but….”

“But what?”

“I was so afraid.”

“Of what?”

“That I’d fail. That I’d screw up and . . . and I could always hear my parents in my head telling me I’d never make it, that I didn’t have it in me to make it anywhere and in anything. I’ve always worked so hard to be something so I could prove it to them, but I forgot how to grow a personality and how to fun. I never knew how to do that and for Dru it always came so easy.” She shook her head, the tears falling free now. She never realized how good it could feel to just tell someone how she felt and to just cry. “And then she died on me and I thought ‘there goes my chance to learn one day’. I always thought of Dru as someone that was going to save me one day before I. . . before I just withered away. And now she’s gone and I don’t have anyone.”

“No,” William said forcefully and loudly, so loudly she jumped a bit. “You have me. You have me.”

“You barely know me!”

“I know what I need to know to have figured out that you are an amazing woman—“

“I’m not. There is nothing amazing about me. Dru was the amazing –“

“Stop it,” he said firmly, giving her a little shake.

She gasped at his forcefulness, and stared at him, her eyes wide. “William?”

“You are amazing. You are so incredibly strong, Buffy, don’t you see that? You’re so strong and brave. You haven’t given up yet; look at you, still here and still fighting. You’re smart and gorgeous –“

“I’m gorgeous?”

“Oh God yes, Buffy,” he breathed. “So bloody gorgeous.”

She swallowed hard.

“You…you’re… oh, fuck it.” Whatever control he had in check snapped, and the next thing Buffy knew, William’s lips were crashing down upon hers.

Wow, was the last coherent thought Buffy had.

Buffy was floating on a cloud. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she had to be doing something right because William hadn’t stopped kissing her. In fact, he had broken away briefly to catch his breath, and had dove in again, this time following her dream and sucking her bottom lip into his mouth. She grabbed onto the front of his shirt and held on tight, afraid she’d fall over if she didn’t hold onto him. For once, she was blessedly not thinking and that was something she wanted to hold onto desperately.

“Buffy…” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers, and panting. “Have you ever…?”

Her eyes were shut, her breathing was heavy and still she held on to the blissful feeling of William kissing her. It was odd, that. She hadn’t liked it too much when he’d hugged her for the first time, though she was slowly getting used to that, but this kissing thing…she liked it! She was tingling all over and her mind was clear of thought, of analyzing and over analyzing – it was a wonderful feeling.

“What?” she asked softly, almost dreamily. She barely recognized her own voice.

“Ever been kissed? Ever . . . made love?”

As nice as kissing felt, she was certain that she wasn’t quite ready for that. She jumped away from him as if burned. “No, I haven’t. And I’m not …I’m not going to…”

He reached out and brought her back into his arms without pushing for anything. “Not going to have sex with me?”

She cleared her throat and shook her head, trying to separate from him, but he held on tight. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“Buffy, I’m not going to push you for anything you’re not ready for. But why would it be wrong?”

“Because you…sort of work for me, and…sex just complicates things, and…”

“If you’ve never made love, how do you know it’d complicate things?”

She gave him a sour look and this time pushed away from him. “You don’t have to say it like that.”

William chuckled, “That came out a lot worse than how I meant it.”

“Then maybe you should say how you meant it,” she said indignantly.

“I meant, how do you know it’d complicate things between us?”

“I don’t want to have this conversation anymore,” Buffy said, shaking her head and moving away from him. “That kiss was nice, but it shouldn’t have happened.”

“You liked it?”

“Yes, but it—“

“Focus on how you liked it then. Don’t think about the other stuff—“

“Yeah, that’s the problem. I forgot about the other stuff.”

“How is that a problem?”

“I don’t know, it just is! You’ve got me all muddled and thoughtless here, you and your kind words and –“

“And I meant every word,” he told her, staring at her imploringly. He cocked his head to the side. “You liked the kissing because you didn’t think for once.”

“William—“

“Talk to me, Buffy.”

“I am talking to you, but why do we have to talk about this?”

He held up his hands in surrender. “All right. I’ll stop.” For now, he thought. She was watching him carefully and he knew if he pressed her more to open up, she’d just clam up even more. Mental note old boy, Buffy loses all thought when kissing. She is a passionate creature after all. She’s just afraid of it when given the chance to think.

She bit her bottom lip, “I do have one question though.”

“Mmm?”

“Was I – was any good?” she asked uncertainly.

He smiled broadly, “You taste like honey. Your lips are all soft and plump…you kiss so sweet and innocently.”

“That’s a good thing?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Bloody fantastic.”

There was a hint of a smile, a proud smile, on her flushed face and she turned away from him. “I think I’m going to turn in. Night, William. Thank you for dinner.”

“Stop thanking me—we talked about this remember? Good night, Buffy.”

Head down, Buffy walked away from him and William heaved a heavy sigh. Good thing she’d paid no heed to the erection he’d been sporting.

“Finally!” Dru exclaimed behind him.

“Dru,” he muttered, “Really not in the mood.”

“Party pooper.”

Turning, William scowled at her. “This whole thing has been a set up, hasn’t it? This was a way for you to play Emma from beyond the grave.”

“No,” Dru said, clearly offended. “Well…”

“Yeah, see? I’m being played like a bloody fiddle by a ghost.”

“That’s not entirely true, William—“

“It’s not? Well if it is true, I hope you’re happy because I’m – and she’s –“ William was gesturing wildly.

“You’re falling in love with her and she’s not making it easy in the reciprocation department?” Dru mused.

William admitted nothing.

“I admit that yes, part of this was a set up. But only part. William, I knew you could be the one to break down her barriers – her many barriers and bring her to life—“

“She doesn’t want to be.”

“She needs to be.”

“I want to do it, Dru, and not because of you,” William admitted to her, gently.

“I know. You’re falling for her.”

“She’s so …”

“Cold? Closed off?” Dru supplied.

William frowned at her, “No, not that at all, really. I mean, yeah, she comes off that way at first, but it’s all just a front. A really good front. It’s all just a defense mechanism really. She feels things, Dru, she feels them deeply, she just doesn’t know how to process or handle them.”

Dru nodded sadly, “You can thank our parents for that.”

“How did you manage to not fall into that trap?”

Dru shrugged, “I knew the way they raised us was wrong. I knew that it was them that had the problem, not us. I learned to not care what they thought of me. Buffy was a sensitive child and I knew if she stayed in that house, she wouldn’t have a chance. They’d eat her alive and then spit her out. It was why I tried to get custody of her. But they knew they could mold her, they knew they could break her. It was all a sport to them. And Buffy let them work their will on her. She knew they were wrong, she knew they were awful, but by then, the damage had been done. She’d been conditioned.”

“I really hate them,” William growled, “Any way I can meet them? I’d really love myself a good brawl.”

Dru laughed, “All for her honor?”

William blushed, “Well…yours too.”

“William, when Fred died, you were so distraught. A real mess. You never thought you could love again. I know Buffy is the opposite of Fred, but you’ve always loved a challenge, and underneath that armor is a real passionate woman with a whole lot of feeling. She’s opened up to you—“

“I thought I told you about the lurking.”

“I’m just saying! There’s something in you that responds to something in her, and there’s something in her that responds to something in you.”

“Is she really in danger Dru? Or did you just tell me that because you knew I couldn’t let anything happen to her?”

Dru shook her head sadly. “No, she really is in danger.”

“How? What is it? I don’t get how—“

“William. If she doesn’t stay here with you, she’ll kill herself.”

William froze, feeling a chill creep over his entire body. He stared at Dru, his heart feeling as though it were about to drop from his chest. His instinct was to run to Buffy’s room and gather her in his arms. If not to comfort her, than to comfort him that she wasn’t gone yet, that she was there, and she was alive.

“What? No, she,” William shook his head, “No, she can’t do that.”

“She will.”

“Buffy said you weren’t that great at telling futures, how do you know for sure—“

“William, do you honestly think I’d make something like this up? Do you think I would make up my sister’s suicide for the simple reason that I want you two together?”

William shook his head, feeling numb. “No, I don’t.”

“I didn’t want to tell you –“

“Why? You’d think you’d tell me something that serious, Dru!”

“I didn’t want you to get crazy about it. I was going to let things develop as they will. I was only going to tell you how serious it was later.”

William shook his head, “You told me she was in danger, but God…” he ran a hand through his hair. “I had no idea.”

“She’s lonely. She’s scared. I told you loneliness can drive you to do crazy things –“

“Has she ever – Has she ever tried anything like that before?”

Dru shook her head, “No, not that I know of anyway. I know she went through bouts when she was younger—“

“Bouts of…depression?”

Dru nodded.

William felt the energy leave his body. He slumped to the floor feeling hopeless, helpless, lost.

“Don’t change what you’ve been doing, Willam. Please. She’ll know something is up. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Can you give me something? A crumb of hope here? Tell me that you see things are looking up at least a little bit. Please,” William said, nearly begging.

“I can’t. I can’t because things are still as I saw them before. I can see her opening up to you. I can see that she does like you. In her own unique Buffy way. You’ve got to be as you have been William. How could she not fall for you?” Dru smiled brilliantly. “If I hadn’t been so in love with my husband, I might have fallen for you myself.”

William smiled grimly, “Thanks Dru. He was, you know, dead at the time we met.”

Dru nodded, “I know. But he was still there, if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do and I’m all set with …” William shut his eyes. “I can’t let anything happen to her.”

“I know.”

“Her life is literally in my hands, Dru.”

“Well, not completely.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that it’s still her choice in the end. It’s not like you’d be the one to make her do it.”

“Do you—do you know how?”

“Gun.”

William shut his eyes. “Just like that girl,” he whispered.

“So you see how you have to get her to stay. Here, with you, she’s happy. I don’t care if she wants to talk to the dead. I don’t care if she wants to shut us all out and close up shop in that department. I just don’t want her to die, William. Not like that. That’s not the way for her to go. She needs to fall in love, get married and have a brood of children. Which, she’ll name her firstborn girl after me, naturally. It’s what I’d always wanted for her, and I can’t let her end up nothing more than a spirit.”

“Like you?” William said wistfully.

“Like me.”

“Dru, I—“

“I have to go William. I’ve used up most of my energy now. I’ll see you in a bit.”

William watched her dissipate into thin air and then finished his thought, “I am falling for her.”

********

Buffy was almost bouncing as she made her way into the kitchen the next morning. She could smell the bacon and pancakes wafting into her room, and it had roused her from bed with a smile on her face. Showering and dressing quickly, she rushed to help William.

She smiled at him as she entered, and then stopped dead. She pointed to the waffle maker. “You’re making waffles?”

He grinned, “I am. You like?”

“Waffles have always been my favorite. Dru and I would make them for dinner all the time. We’d have syrup and all kinds of jelly to try…and then we’d curl up on the couch and pig out while watching a movie.”

“Well, you’re in luck little girl because I happen to have not only syrup, but all kinds of jams for you to try. I’ve got them all in the fridge, mind taking them out?”

“Not at all,” Buffy said and started for the fridge.

William grabbed her arm, halting her. “Buffy – I – are you all right with . . . everything?”

She felt herself blush and she looked down, nodding. “I just want to not talk about it right now. Okay?”

William nodded, “Can I just – one thing, I have to –“ and he hauled her in his arms, hugging her so tight, she almost couldn’t breathe.

“William, I can’t breathe.”

He released her quickly. “Sorry. I just...had to do that. As you were.”

She giggled at that, and it was music to William’s ears. He’d noticed the spring in her step when she came bouncing in the kitchen, and first, his heart swelled when he recalled what Dru had told him the night before, and second, he had to wonder if that bounce in her step – if that giggle had anything to do with him.

God, he hoped so. He had barely slept the night before; images of Buffy’s lifeless body had infiltrated his mind and the idea had chilled him to the bone. He’d had to fight off the urge to barrel into her room and lay down with her. Just to feel her life, just to fend off the loneliness, the dark, the fear, the unknown – anything that might upset her and drive her to such an extreme.

He’d made up his mind that if he failed to convince her to stay, and she went back, well, he’d just go with her. He’d stalk her if he had to just to make sure she was never alone. Dru was confident in his powers of persuasion, and usually he was too. He was an attorney after all. But, matters of the heart were a different thing altogether. He didn’t have so much confidence in that department. Until the night before, he’d known he felt things for Buffy, but had made no such plans as to what to do with them. Hell, he hadn’t even defined those feelings until Dru had disappeared. He knew though, he knew it wasn’t because of the news Dru had dropped on him. Though, the thought of losing her had lit the fire under his ass to at least admit to it; to put a name to those feelings.

Now he felt an urgency. An urgency to not just let himself fall deeper, but an urgency to make her fall for him. Watching her hum as she opened up the jam bottles and tested each one with a spoon, he smiled. Inside was a little girl still that was clawing to get out, and by God, he’d get her out.

And make her fall for him in the process.

Buffy was in no rush to go back to the mansion. Her two days were up and she had made no move to let William in on that fact. She figured he didn’t notice, didn’t care, or maybe wanted her to stay and didn’t want to draw attention to it either; and she was tempted to ask which it was. For some reason, she hoped it was that he didn’t want her to go. She felt…free. She felt free and safe with William. The things she told him, she’d never told another before – not even her sister -- and Dru was the closest person she’d ever been to. There was just something about William that gave her the freedom to open up, to be free. She felt as though she had a soft place to land and that he would not judge her. She kept waiting for him to, thinking that it had to come – she was used to judgment, she was not used to acceptance. Even Dru judged her on some level. Everyone always seemed to expect more from her, but no one just let her be her. Sure, William wanted her to be able to accept her “gift”, but she knew he wouldn’t be upset with her if she never did.

He made her feel things. Things stirred up inside her and swirled around making her feel light, heady and giddy. Yes, Buffy Summers felt giddy. It could have been that he told her what a great kisser she was. Putting her fingers to her lips, she swore she felt them tingle; she swore she could still feel his lips there. She found herself staring at him as he cleaned up the kitchen, having banned her from it. She watched the way his body moved, the way his muscles rippled under the T he wore. She didn’t think he’d like to hear her say this, but he was graceful. Sleek-like. Like a cat. He moved with agility; he was one fit man.

In a word: Gorgeous.

She’d seen him in a suit and she’d seen him in casual wear such as jeans. Both suited him well. Both made her feel all tingly inside.

“What are you thinking about, kitten?”

His question jarred her from her musings and she immediately felt the heat rise to her cheeks. She’d been checking him out and he’d caught her. Great. Good job, Summers.

She cleared her throat and shook her head.

He rose a brow and sauntered, almost prowled into the sitting room. He grinned, “You were staring at me.”

She shook her head adamantly, “No—I – I wasn’t.”

“You were. And you’re blushing. How . . . cute.”

She gulped and stood on shaky legs. “I – I”

“Hmmm?” he asked, moving slowly closer still.

Sleek-like. Like a cat. Panther. Gorgeous. Those were the words running like a mantra in her mind.

“Would you kiss me again?” she blurted out.

Those words not only surprised her, but him as well. Did she really just say that? Did she mean it? Watching him lick his lips, she thought, Yes.

“You mean that, kitten?” he asked quietly, voicing the question she’d just asked herself a minute before.

“Yeah, I—“ Be brave Buffy, “I mean that.”

Stepping forward, he reached out and pulled her close to him, until their bodies were flush up against each other. She gasped at the feel of all that hardness pressed up against her, how such a different contrast it was, how nice it felt.

“Look at me, Buffy,” he implored her gently, tilting her head up to his with the tip of his finger.

She looked up and into his eyes, studying how incredibly blue they were. “Yeah?”

He smiled down at her. “You’re so beautiful, you know.”

“You are too,” she blurted out and then looked away. She tried to pull back and he held her firmly in place. She had to be as red as a tomato now.

“Why do you pull away? Why does it make you afraid to tell me you find me attractive?” he asked softly, running a hand through her hair. “Hmmm? It makes me feel good to know that you find me attractive. Then at least I know I’m not alone.”

“Alone?”

“In this thing between us. You feel it, don’t you, Buffy?”

The deep timbre in his voice, the way his breath fanned her face and his sheer closeness to her, was making her feel weak and so incredibly thoughtless. How he expected her to think with all these combined, she did not know.

"Close your eyes," he whispered and she immediately did so.

The minute she felt his soft and yet firm lips touch hers, all was lost. All thought left completely and all she could do was feel and focus on how he felt, how she felt. Her body awakened, it felt as if every nerve were tingling, and every nerve wanted more, more, more. She clutched at him, and unconsciously pulled him even closer to her.

Kissing Buffy was like touching heaven. William had kissed a lot of women in his day, but never had he felt such complete bliss in doing so. Kisses in the past were of the puppy love variety, the lust variety ranging from 'I want you eventually', to 'I want you now', and then the comfortable, dutiful kisses of the established relationship variety. But kissing Buffy was something else entirely. Everything in him hummed and felt rejuvenated. He felt passion, such an intense passion, he felt himself getting swept away in a torrent of need he didn't want to even try to resist. Though he knew he would have to by the one functioning part of his brain that would keep him at least somewhat in check. He felt his heart swell inside his chest to massive proportions and he wondered if she could feel it nearly bursting through his chest cavity in its desire to make itself known to her. Kissing her was dangerous. He felt that he wasn't so much falling as having already fallen. Hormones, he told himself, but even that seemed a feeble excuse.

Needing more, William's lips left her mouth, giving them a chance to breath, and William the chance to trail open mouthed kisses down her slender neck. His hands had a mind of their own, and bunched at her waist, sliding up, up, up until they were just under her breasts. Even they seemed to know that that might be pushing things too far with Buffy.

And then she moaned, and all was lost. His head snapped up and he looked at her hotly, taking in her flush faced, and her eyes heavy with lust. He dove in with a growl of unmistakable hunger and kissed her hard, demandingly and possessively. His hands, this time inched up, covering her clothed breasts, feeling the weight of them in his palms. He was harder than nails and she paid no heed to the fact that his erection was pressing into her belly, rubbing ever so gently against her, craving friction.

"Buffy," he moaned, "God I want you so much, Buffy." And his wandering mouth slid down her throat once more, his hands tangling in her hair and tugging her head back lightly for further access. He moved them, stumbling back until they hit the couch and they fell onto it, a tangle of arms and legs. His mouth dove for her breast at the same time her hands bunched in his hair – and pulled hard.

“Will, please, stop.”

She sounded so terrified that William froze and looked up at her. Her eyes were wide, she was panting and she looked more afraid of him than she had been of the ghosts back at the mansion.

He was off her in a flash, nearly jumping to the other side of the couch. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I went to far, I’m sorry—“

“Will, stop.”

He clamped his mouth shut.

She licked her lips and sat up, rearranging her clothes. “I – I don’t know what to do.”

“What?” he asked hoarsely.

“I’ve never . . . that is, I’ve never –“

“Made love?”

She nodded, “Yes, that.” She gave him a quirky smile, “I thought men called it ‘sex’ or ‘fucking’.”

“Not when they care about the person they’re with.”

That did her in and Buffy jumped up from the couch, clearing her throat and avoiding his gaze. She could talk about the physical and doing the physical, but she could not talk about the emotion behind it.
That hurt, but he held himself back from lashing out. Buffy didn’t know any better, he told himself. She grew up in an environment where there was no such thing as feeling. It frightened her.

Instead, he took a deep, calming breath and stood. Besides, it was too soon for him to be spilling his heart to her. “How about we go out?”

“Huh?” the shift in conversation had her bewildered and off balance.

“How about we go out and spend some time in town?”

“I—I, uh—“

“I’ll just get showered and we’ll go, all right?”

She nodded dumbly at him and he sprinted to the shower before she could object.

Meandering away from William at the bookstore she’d requested they go into, Buffy left William and poetry and began walking up and down the aisles, scanning titles as she want, and not paying any attention to the sections she was entering.

Sex.

That stopped her in her tracks. She stared at the title and then looked around her, her eyes darting around to see if anyone was near her. She and William had been the only other two people in the place when they’d arrived, so she figured she might be safe. Swallowing hard, Buffy reached out tentatively and plucked the book quickly from its spot before looking around her again. Should she look at the book right there where she was or find a secluded spot? What if someone saw her with it though while walking around? What if she ran into William? No, this was fine. Right in the aisle. There was quite a bit of space on the book shelf for her to place the book on it and she put it down so it was at level with her belly, and opened it. She nearly gasped when an image of a man and a woman engaged in intercourse assaulted her. Gulping, she found herself staring at it. The man was on his back, holding onto the woman’s hips as she straddled him. Her head was thrown back with a look of ecstasy on her face, and her partner was smiling up at her.

Biting her lip, Buffy turned the page and found the woman this time bent in half, her upper body over a chair while the man behind her held her hips. The woman’s mouth was formed into an “O” of pleasure and the man’s head this time was thrown back.

Buffy felt hot. Was it her or was it suddenly quite stuffy in the bookstore. Staring at the picture, in her mind she replaced the woman’s face with her own and the man’s face with William’s.

Wow.

And was that something she could do? Wouldn’t her arms get tired?

“What are you looking at?” a deep voice said in her ear. William had caught her!

She jumped a mile and started to try and jut the book back into its spot, but William stilled her with his strong hands. “No, no. I want to see,” he whispered in her ear, his hot breath fanning across her ear and neck.

She took a deep breath. “William, I don’t –“

“Sshhh…it’s just us.”

“But—“

“Open the book, Buffy.”

Some part of her was curious to look at this with him, to ask him questions and see what he had to say, so she opened the book slowly and fell on a page of the woman on her back, her legs spread wide and the man – Oh god!

Buffy looked away.

“No,” William murmured, sliding his hand down her arm to soothe her, “Look at it. Look at her, she likes it.”

Looking back down, slowly, Buffy saw that now the woman’s eyes were closed. But it wasn’t “the woman’s”, it was hers. It was her face and that was William between her thighs.

“What do you think of that?” William asked.

“I – uh – I –“

“Sshhh…take your time, Buffy. Talk to me. You can talk to me.”

She instantly relaxed – How did he have this power over her?

“Does that…taste bad?” she finally managed to get out, feeling she was gasping for air.

He chuckled, but she somehow knew he wasn’t laughing at her. He was so close to her, she could feel his chuckle reverberate through her body. “No, Buffy,” he assured her huskily, “It tastes good.”

“You – uh – you…like doing that?”

“Oh yes,” he whispered, his lips touching her neck when he spoke. She felt his nose in her hair, nuzzling her. She closed his eyes, amazed at how quickly she was able to lose all rational thought with him around touching her.

“Turn the page, Buffy.”

Turning she found herself –oh God, her mind wasn’t even putting up the pretense anymore!—on her back, her arms wrapped around William as he lay on top of her, between her spread legs that were wrapped around him. They were kissing.

She stared at that picture, the sweetness of it and felt her body tingle. She wasn’t so inept that she wasn’t aware of arousal when it occurred in her body. She’d just never explored it with anyone. And now, with William behind her, his breath on her neck, and the images before her teasing her, Buffy felt arousal. Intense arousal.

“You like that image, Buffy?” William asked huskily. “You like seeing them make love?”

She nodded, licking her lips.

“Imagine that’s us, Buffy. Imagine that’s me inside you, holding you, while you wrap your legs around me and hold me inside your body. Imagine our bodies slick with sweat, how it’d feel with me inside you, loving you.”

“William,” she whimpered when she felt his own arousal press between her bottom cheeks.

He spun her around and slammed his lips onto hers, kissing her hard and hungrily. His hands twined in her hair and her arms came around him, pulling him close to her. She jumped when she felt his tongue run along the bottom of her lip and then when she opened her mouth, he slid his tongue inside. He’d sucked her bottom lip in his mouth, but she’d never felt his tongue inside her mouth. It was a new sensation, and it was one she actually liked. A lot.

“What do I do?” she muttered breathlessly.

“Chase my tongue back in my mouth so that yours goes in my mouth. Keep your tongue moving,” he explained breathlessly and attacked her mouth once again.

When his tongue slid in her mouth, she stabbed at it with her own, feeling she had to be doing something horrendously wrong – but then he moaned and feeling bolder, she sought his tongue again. When it moved away from her, she sought it again and so their tongues dueled, playing a game of hide-and-seek and Buffy was so drugged on the feelings swirling inside her that she barely registered the throat next to them clearing loudly.

Her dazed mind took a minute to register a) what that noise was and what it meant and b) where they were and what they were doing.

“William,” she said and pushed at him.

“Hmm?”

She pushed again and this time succeeded in getting him off her. He stared at her for a minute before turning to see the disapproving clerk with his arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.

“Oh, please,” William scoffed. “Like you’ve never mauled your girlfriend in public before. Don’t get your knickers all wound up, we’ll shove off.” Grabbing her hand, William led an open mouthed Buffy out of the store.

Once outside Buffy looked up at William. “Girlfriend?”

Bullocks, William thought, dropping her hand, and his mind raced with an answer. Buffy was looking up at him expectantly, a trace of fear and uncertainty just lurking in her eyes. “I just meant pet that he’s probably made out with his girlfriend – I was just making the bloke feel good about the fact that first of all, he’s able to get a girl, and secondly, I was just trying to strike up some . . . sympathy for us since he’s probably done the same thing. Stodgy and rigid those folks, you know?”

Buffy said nothing, but studied him for a moment before nodding and continuing on. He breathed a slight sigh of relief while trying to squelch down the hurt he felt at her obvious rejection of the notion of him calling her his girlfriend. Not that she was, but not that she wasn’t either. He wasn’t exactly snogging in bookstores with a slew of women these days. In fact, he’d never been one for a ‘slew’ of women. He was a one woman man, and the one woman he wanted was Buffy.

Yet she was horrified, obviously, by the idea.

The only success he’d had was being able to incorporate some emotion into his ability to effectively make her lose rational thought. He’d been able to say the word ‘love’ and she hadn’t run from it. In fact, she’d gotten even more turned on by it. He’d like to think she did anyway. He’d slipped it in so effortlessly when describing what it’d be like if it were them in those pictures, how he’d make her feel, and she hadn’t blinked. Instead, she’d whimpered his name. That’s right, whimpered his name. The sound of it had him harder than he’d ever been. Not helped by the fact that seeing what she’d been looking at had caused him to go slightly mad. A bloke could only take so much, and since he’d been on his best behavior since their morning snog, he had to give himself a pat on the back for keeping it together as long as he had. When she’d stood with him in the poetry section, asking him about his favorite authors and selecting books based on his answers, she’d been standing so close to him that he’d been able to smell her shampoo and that bloody vanilla body lotion. That bloody vanilla body lotion he’d seen on the nightstand in her room, and had had erotic images of her naked, on her bed, slathering that lotion on.

She was driving him bloody mad. He’d actually sighed with relief when she’d wandered away. It was no wonder he’d snapped when he saw what she was perusing oh so discreetly through. And her passion, oh God, her passion. He’d hit the nail on the head with her. She was a bonfire ready to be lit, and soon, she was going to be blazing straight up to the heavens. She was so responsive and with an eagerness to learn -- she was like a Catholic school girl making up for lost time. Or rather, she was like a nun that had just decided to be released from her vows and felt the guilt and uncertainty about it still, but little by little, she was coming undone. He couldn’t help but feel smug about that. Even if Buffy was keeping him closely in check with her inability to admit or give him some kind of crumb beyond the physical that she felt anything for him. He was going to have to take what he could get it seemed.

“It’s not that I think you’d be awful to date, William,” Buffy said abruptly, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to face him. Okay, maybe he wouldn’t have to take what he could get.

He blinked, “Thank you.”

She nodded, satisfied with that, and yet seeming as if there were more she wanted to say; or needed to say. She opened her mouth and no sound came out. She gestured for a minute and he waited, patiently. When she knew the words to say, she’d say them. She seemed to have given up though, and she shook her head, walked away and started muttering to herself.

He lunged and grabbed her arm, drawing her back. “What is it, pet?”

“Nothing, forget it. Just the insane thoughts of a deluded mind.”

“Humor me.”

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean, what am I--?”

“The kissing, the ‘mauling’. . . .If you had just meant what you said about just trying to make the clerk feel good about being able to get a girl—“

“Oh, that was shit and you know it,” William blurted out, frustrated.

She straightened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and that’s why I didn’t tell you. Cause of that skittishness you have toward all things having to do with feelings.”

“Will, I—“

“Look, Buffy, we got to get something straight here, you and I, right?”

“Ri—“

“I like you a lot Buffy. And I sound like a complete ponce for saying that, and there’s one way to make a bloke feel good – take him back to his bloody high school days when he didn’t know his ass from his elbow.” Shaking his head, William ran a hand through his hair. “There are better ways for me to say what it is I’m feeling for you Summers, but I know all of them would have you running, and since I don’t want that, I’m saying I like you. A lot. I’m even daring to say I care, but that shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise for you since you already bloody well knew that. We’ve shared a few kisses you and I, and each time has been better than the last and each of them have brought me to my knees. I’d like to be able to call you my girlfriend, but I know that’s not going to happen any time soon –“

She opened her mouth to speak and he held up his hand to stop her.

“This,” he continued, “is how it’s going to work. We’re gonna keep right on with the kissing and I’m gonna keep right on respecting your boundaries until either you become more comfortable with them, or I bloody snap. Not saying that I’d ever do anything to hurt you, pet, because trust me, I wouldn’t. That’s not to say, however, that I’m not going to be a complete prat and test those boundaries. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee I’ll be testing them quite often. I won’t talk of you being my girl, even if I want you to be, and I won’t pressure you for how you’re feeling even if it’s driving me stark raving mad to not know. Right now, I’m gonna take the crumbs you’re offering and we’re gonna keep snogging, you got it?”

Eyes wide, Buffy nodded.

“Any questions?”

“Uh, yeah. What’s snogging exactly?”

“This,” he said and hauled her to him, kissing her soundly before the passion overtook them once more. He released her and pressed his forehead to hers. “Any more questions?”

She shook her head.

“Great. Let’s go, I have something I want to show you.”

********

What he showed her was a museum. But not any museum, a museum that was hiring for exactly what Buffy did, and a museum whose Director was none other than his uncle, Rupert Giles. He’d called his uncle that morning while he’d waited for her to find her purse before they headed out, and asked him if he was by chance hiring. It was time to set the wheels in motion, and while he’d been hesitant until then, he figured then was a good as time as any to show her the museum since he’d had the floor and she hadn’t been asking for it back.

He told her he knew the Director of the museum was his uncle and she seemed quite curious about it. That warmed him. Despite her bouts of frigidity, Buffy had a heart, and when she displayed any curiosity about him, it drove him wild.

“William, my boy,” Uncle Giles greeted him. The tall man with the graying temples and crinkles around his eyes looked very much like his father, and since his father’s passing, William had felt Uncle Giles had been his father figure. The men hugged and before turning to Buffy, Uncle Giles pushed his glasses up and faced her, smiling almost shyly. “Hello there. William has told me so much about you,” he said and shook her hand warmly.

Buffy eyed William while she replied. “Has he?”

Uncle Giles nodded, “Yes, he has. All good things don’t worry. He told me actually, that you were looking for a job. It just so happens that I’m hiring for the exact line of work you do in the States.”

William could tell by the look in her eye that he was going to get it later when they were alone, but he didn’t mind.

In fact, he couldn’t wait.

William soon regretted wanting to witness Buffy’s passionate ire. In fact, he didn’t even get to see it. Not right away anyway. She’d remained cool as a cucumber while speaking with Giles and she did inform him that her stay there was not definite; just something she was toying with and she did not think it fair to start work for him if she so happened to end up leaving.

William wanted to shake her at that point. His uncle took it all in stride however, and thanked her for her honesty. He expressed that it’d be a great delight to work with her, and it was not everyday one got the chance to work abroad, so to please consider it. Buffy was gracious about thanking him and they left. The walk back to William’s car was met with silence, and the ride back to his home was also met with silence. Her annoyance he could handle – and in a sick twisted way, looked forward to it. He wanted to see the fury in her eyes when she hollered at him. He probably needed help for it, but it turned him on. It caused all sorts of images to float to his mind from dominatrix to a prim and proper school marm that punished him for being a naughty boy. Plus, it was another display of all that trapped emotion inside her. The more it was unleashed, the more he felt she came closer to the person she was supposed to be. Contained Buffy Summers was not who she was meant to be. Unleashed and free Buffy Summers was who she was meant to be.

It wasn’t until he’d parked and they’d gotten out of the car that she said anything. Glaring at him over the roof of the car, she simply said, “You know…you’re as bad as Dru,” and she walked away.

Okay, well, what was he supposed to do with that? Following her into the house, he said “And what is that supposed to mean exactly?”

She spun to him, and oh yes, there was that fury in her eyes. He bit back a smile at the sight.

“It means you have no right springing sneaky attacks on me like that.”

“Sneaky attacks?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Please, William, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Going to a museum under the pretense of viewing the art, and then meeting your uncle, but then he comes at me with a job offer – and you’re the one that let him know beforehand obviously.”

“Well, yeah,” he admitted.

Throwing up her hands she stalked into her bedroom, and William followed her. “Buffy, I figured it might help in your decision to stay if you knew the options you had. What are you doing?”

“Packing. What does it look like?”

“Where the bloody hell are you going?”

“To the mansion.”

“No, I don’t want you to go.”

“Oh, then by all means let me stay because you don’t want me to leave. You know, Dru tried many times to run my life and tell me how I should do things and I always hated it. I am fine on my own; I’ve done it for a long time. I don’t need someone telling me how I should do this or that, or how I should live my life. I had enough of that with my parents.“

William sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Buffy, I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. I just want…I just want you to be happy!”

“How do you know I’m not happy the way I am?” she demanded, ceasing packing and facing him.

“Oh come on, you’re not happy. You’re going through the motions at best, Buffy. You have no friends—“

“I have friends!” she protested.

“Friends you admitted you barely see. Friends that you have not called once since you’ve been here, friends you have not talked about at all. I think you have acquaintances you talk to once in a while if you run into them, or maybe co-workers that you engage in conversation with but then don’t talk to once you’ve left work. And maybe they’ve asked you to go out once in a while, but you always said ‘No’. So they gave up, and maybe you didn’t necessarily want them to give up asking you, but you didn’t know how to say ‘Yes’. And it frightens you that you might actually go out and have a good time! So much easier to stay all shut tight and not let anyone in than it is to let loose and have some fun – you might actually make attachments that way!”

She marched up to him, her eyes wild and filling with tears. He knew what she intended before it happened; it was that way he was able to stop the hand that was coming to slap his face. He grabbed her hand, and she immediately lifted her other. He grabbed that one too. Her chest was heaving, and she was practically panting from the force and intensity of her anger. Her green eyes were even greener than normal, and unshed tears made them sparkle all the more. Her hair was wild, fanning around her face and she stared at him, trying to reign in her anger.

“That’s it,” he said and drew her to him in one quick motion, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hard. She hesitated at first, pushing at him, but he held on and soon she gave in, kissing him back just as hotly.

Unable to stop himself from doing so, he walked her back to the bed and they fell into it in a heap. Whether it was the book, the experience they had in the bookstore, her anger at him or a culmination of all of them, Buffy was now clawing at him, pulling his shirt up until her hands made contact with his skin, her nails clawing up his back, though she made no move to take it off, and he made no move to do so.

Growling, he shoved his hands under her own shirt, needing desperately to feel her skin against his own. God, she was hot under his hands. His hands slid over her bra covered breasts and he groaned at the feel of that perfect flesh under his hands. He wanted more. He wanted to rip her shirt off her and suckle each breast in his mouth.

“Buffy, let me, please,” he nearly begged, toying with the buttons of her shirt.

Gulping, she nodded, and he didn’t give her anytime to think. His hands moved so fast over her shirt, he was sure he was going to pop a few buttons off, but he didn’t care. Shoving her shirt apart, she was laid bare – still slightly covered by shirt and bra, but God, that creamy skin! Diving in with a growl, William kissed the tops of her breasts, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses on them, tasting the salt of her skin. His eyes rolled up in his head at the feel and taste. Inching her bra down slowly, to give her time to protest, he was delighted when she didn’t. Exposing her milky white breast to his gaze, William looked up at her, meeting her uncertain, but lustful gaze. “You are so gorgeous, Buffy.”

She bit her lip and shook her head.

“Yes,” he breathed, reaching up and kissing her slowly and softly. “Yes, you are. So incredibly gorgeous. I want to –“ he stopped himself from finishing that sentence and instead paid attention to the flesh before him.

Bending his head, he licked up her nipple on her right breast. She moaned, and the sound was music to his ears. He suckled her breast into his mouth, placing his hand over the other one and flicking his thumb across her nipple. Teasing the one in his mouth with the tip of his tongue, William took pleasure in the way Buffy was squirming underneath him.

Moving to the other breast to give it equal attention, William was lost. He was a man completely lost. There wasn’t anything about her that didn’t draw him in. There wasn’t anything about her that he didn’t want, and on some primal level, there wasn’t anything about her that he didn’t want to possess and make his. He wanted her with a desperation that frightened him. He felt a ping of guilt as he thought of Fred and how he had loved her, how she had touched his heart, but Buffy…Buffy touched his soul.

“Will, please,” Buffy moaned, tugging on his hair.

He lifted his head, meeting her eyes. “What’s wrong, luv?”

“You have to . . . stop.”

“Are you all right?” he asked tenderly, cupping the side of her face with his hand.

The tears that had been in her eyes before spilled over. She nodded mutely and turned her head from him.

“Buffy?” he questioned gently.

She shook her head, and he rolled off her. She rolled to her side, curled into a ball and cried. He wasn’t going to leave her like this that was for sure. Rolling to his side, he inched closer to her and spooned up against her back. He draped an arm across her and rested his chin on her shoulder, holding her as she wept.

“It’s too much,” Buffy murmured through her tears.

“What is, sweetheart?”

“This. All of this.”

“Can you specify?”

“What we’re doing…it’s too much.”

“What do you want to do?”

She sighed, trembling. “I think it might be best if I go back to the mansion.”

His grip on her tightened and he had to talk himself into loosening it. “Pet. . . Do you really want to do that or is it just something you think is best because you’re scared?”

She crawled out of the bed and stared down at him as he sat up. He hated seeing her tears and he ached to comfort her.

“Why do you do that? Why do you ask me questions like that? I hate questions like that! Why do I have to say how I feel—“ she demanded. William felt a rant coming on, and he jumped in to stop her.

“Wait a minute there,” he said, crawling out of the bed and standing on the opposite side, facing her. “I’m not making you tell me anything—“

“Yes! You are. You ask these questions that always have a double meaning – it’s like you want to crawl in my head and psychoanalyze me.”

“I don’t want to – okay, I can see how it seems that way, but Buffy, all I want to do is understand you. I want to—“

“So help me if you tell me again how you want to help me. I don’t need help. I need for you to . . . to. . . “

“To what?”

“I don’t know, but I wish you’d stop asking me all the damn time!”

“Then bloody tell me what you feel, what you want and what you need or I can’t fucking help you!” William shouted, throwing up his arms and starting to pace. He looked at her, “You want to know why I ask you what you feel? Because you . . . you’re like a robot—“

“Gee, thanks. That supposed to make me feel better?”

“No. It’s supposed to make you see what happens when I try to talk to you about certain things.”

“Like sex? How do I feel about sex? I feel pretty much terrified of it, William. I’ve never done it before as you know now. I don’t have a single fucking clue what I’m doing and I feel like a bumbling idiot with all that I am doing.”

“I assure you, you’re not. Everything you’ve done has been perfect.”

“And then that’s not enough. Then you come at me telling me how you care for me, and you hint at the depth of that caring and . . . and when I kiss you and you touch me, I . . . I . . . “

He wanted to prompt her. He wanted to ask her “What?” but he didn’t want to pressure her. He had to give her the space she needed here; he had a feeling she was about to blow, and that maybe this time, he would get some answers.

“I feel all these things!” she exclaimed finally. “And I . . . I don’t know what to do with them and I don’t know what they are. Only the crap you read in romance novels but who really believes that stuff? And then I find myself feeling them and . . . and I’m not stupid William. I know what it feels like to be aroused and to want someone, and when you touch me. . . “She shook her head and sighed. “When you touch me, I come undone.”

“When I touch you,” he began hesitantly, “Does your heart race?”

“Yes,” she admitted running a hand through her hair.

“Your toes curl?”

“Yes.”

“Does your skin hum?”

“Yes.”

“Buffy, that’s normal. That’s what’s supposed to happen.”

“Except…except I don’t know if I’m staying and . . . and while I feel all those things, I feel like it’s all those things and then some and . . . “she broke off, looking away.

“And that’s what frightens you.”

She nodded numbly, still not looking at him. “What do you want from me, William?” she asked softly, so softly he barely heard her.

Taking a deep breath, he said, “I want you to be happy, Buffy.”

She looked at him, “That’s it? Just to be happy? So if I was happy back in the States, you’d be fine with that as long as I was happy?”

“Honestly?”

“Please.”

“No. I mean, I’d be happy to know that you weren’t miserable, but I’d be happier if you were with me and happy. I want to make you happy. I want you to. . . I want you to stay here and I want you to open yourself up to me—“

“What if I can’t?” she whispered. “What if I’m broken?”

“Oh Buffy, you’re not broken,” he said passionately, and came over to her, taking her hands in his. She yanked them back and he sighed and took a step back. Space, she needed space.

“You’re not broken,” he continued, “Because you feel those things. If you were broken, you wouldn’t feel them at all. You’re afraid of them is all. Buffy, you have a soft place to land here, I told you this already, you can tell me; you can talk to me. I won’t push you for anything—“

She gave him a disbelieving look.

He nodded, “Okay, yes, it seems that I’ve been unable to keep my hands to myself. I –I – God, Buffy, you make me crazy—“

“Thanks a lot!”

“Let me finish. You drive me crazy with wanting you. Buffy, I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you.”

She looked up at him, “Fred?”

He flinched slightly at that and shook his head.

She inhaled audibly. “Oh.”

“I find it hard to keep my hands to myself where you’re concerned and I thought that you liked it when I touch you—“

“I do! But it . . . I feel like I’m on overload. Like all my senses are on overload and I’m going to combust.”

He smirked, “It’s the same for me.”

“It is?”

“Yes.”

“How do you handle it?”

William smiled. “I understand where it’s coming from and why. Not to say it’s not scary, it’s scary as hell still, but I know…I just know that the payoff is worth is. You’re worth it. Being loved and loving in return is worth it.”

She looked away again, sticking her hand in front of her mouth and chewing on a nail. “I’m scared,” she finally said after a long while.

“I know.”

“No, you don’t know. Try being told all your life how your emotions are silly. Try being told that emotions are silly things that only get in the way of logical, rational thought and that emotions cannot get you ahead, they only make you silly.”

William’s fists clenched. Damn, but her parents had really done a number on her. He couldn’t imagine living in a house where emotions were thought of as silly things and simple things a child needs, like love and affection, were instead hard to come by and something they lost their faith in. He’d never wanted to pummel someone as hard as he wanted to pummel her parents. And he never wanted to protect and love someone as much as he wanted to protect and love Buffy. It broke his heart to hear all that she’d been through, all that she’d had to live.

“Do you think my emotions for you are silly? Do you think it’s silly of me to be falling in – to care for you as I do?” he asked her quietly.

“How can you care for me William? How? I am like a robot. I’m closed off, I’ve never had sex, I make things so hard for you -- how can you care for me? It doesn’t make sense.”

He smiled wanly, “Love isn’t something that is supposed to make much sense, Buffy. You can’t help you fall for. You can’t control those things, and just because you can’t point to a specific reason, does not mean it’s not real. You can’t see love, you can’t touch it physically, but it exists. Yeah, love makes people do crazy things, but in the end…it’s the only thing worth living for. Without it, you’re just dying alone. Who wants that?”

“William, are you saying you --?”

“What do you think?” he asked imploringly.

She fell silent and it was like he could see her retreating within herself. Dammit!

“William, I don’t know what’s going to happen,” she said honestly. “I don’t know if I’m staying or not. I just don’t know.”

“I know.”

“I wish you’d stop making plans for me as if I were.”

“I apologize for that, okay? But how can you know if you’d like to stay if you don’t see what options you have here?”

She nodded slowly, “I will give you that. You have a valid point.”

“Thank you.”

“If you don’t mind, I think I’d like it if you could take me to the mansion tonight.”

“Buffy—“he sighed.

“If I’m going to discover my options, then I have to discover those options at the mansion, not here with you. That place would technically be my home.”

She had a point as well, but it didn’t mean he wanted to let her go. He nodded, “Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you . . . Do you want me to stay a few days with you?”

She smiled, not a large, amused smile, but a soft smile that suggested he was incorrigible. “No. But I’ll make you a deal.”

“Yes?”

“If I need you, I’ll call you.”

He had to take what he could get it seemed. Nodding resolutely, he stuck out his hand. “Deal.”

“Deal,” she agreed, and shook his hand firmly.

Driving up to the mansion, Buffy felt her insides clench. She was not looking forward to going back inside, and knowing William didn’t want her to go made it all the harder. How did that happen? Taking a deep, steadying breath, she gave herself a pep talk. It’ll be fine. I have to figure out a way to co-habitate with them. I am the living, and they are the dead. They are going to have to play by my rules.

Putting the car in park, William turned to Buffy. “You sure you don’t want me to stay?”

Buffy smiled, “I’ll be fine, William.”

“What about me? Aren’t you worried about me all alone in my big house?” he pouted.

Buffy laughed and he grinned. Taking another deep breath, Buffy reached for the door handle to climb out, but William placed a hand on her arm, stopping her.

“What?” she asked.

He smiled, leaned in and kissed her quickly, “That’s all.”

Blushing, she nodded and climbed out. William followed to help her and she shooed him away. “I can do it William. The longer you stay. . . “she didn’t allow herself to finish that thought.

“The longer I stay, the harder it is to let me go?” William supplied. “Or to be let go?”

Buffy ignored him as she slung a bag on her shoulder. She faced him. “I will call you if I need you. Thank you, kind sir, for putting me up for the past few days.”

He grinned, “I’m not kind.”

She giggled, “Yes, you are. You are hardly the bad rude man you call yourself.”

“Just wait, kitten,” he said and winked.

Shaking her head and smiling, Buffy made her way to what seemed to be her fate, but really felt like a gigantic thorn in her side. How was she going to stay in England when the house that was supposed to be her home made her feel so unwelcome? For one thing it was a monstrosity, for another, it was only inhabited by servants and her…and ghosts. This place was not her.

“You’re back Miss,” Edina greeted her as Buffy entered.

Buffy smiled wanly, “I’m back.”

“How was your stay with Master William?”

“Nice. Peaceful. Thank you. Look, I—I’m sorry if I frightened you.”

Edina held up a hand and shook her head. “It’s quite all right Miss.”

“I’m not like my sister. I don’t welcome them with open arms.”

Edina smiled graciously, “Miss, if I may be so bold?”

Buffy waved a hand in her direction, “Bold away.”

“You are not your sister. You are your own person and nothing says you have to follow in her footsteps. You make your own way in this world and it does not have to coincide with the one your sister led.”

Buffy nodded thoughtfully, “You’re absolutely right.”

“And Miss?”

“Yes?”

“My niece, her name is Tara, she lives in town and owns a shop named Hecate’s Cauldron. She’s a witch, Miss. She’s been studying spirits for some time now. As you have probably figured out, this area is rife with them. She’s found a way to cohabitate with the spirits who haunt her home and shop. They do not bother her much. Perhaps you could speak with her and learn how to handle the ones here and . . . . elsewhere?”

Buffy smiled, “I’d like that. What can it hurt, right? Would you take me to see her?”

“I can have her come here if that would be more convenient, Miss.”

“Yes, I think that would work even better,” Buffy agreed. “She won’t…hurt them?”

“Miss?”

“The spirits. She won’t hurt them? I know it sounds ridiculous considering my attitude toward them, but I really don’t wish them harm, just to leave me alone…”

Edina shook her head, “She won’t hurt them. She’ll only give you tips, pointers.”

“Great. Well, when you talk with her, please set up a time that she can come out to meet with me. I’m pretty much open to whenever. Soon, preferably.”

“I will speak with her tomorrow, Miss.”

“Thanks, Edina.”

“Shall I help you with your things?”

“No, I’ve got them. Thanks.”

Walking up the stairs to her room, Buffy sighed heavily. Having to say “thank you” and be so incredibly polite all the time was exhausting. Come to think of it, she was actually pretty exhausted all around. Sheesh, this feeling thing took a lot out of a person. Why did anyone even bother?

********

It was quiet. Almost too quiet. Buffy felt either she’d ended up scaring the spooks or they were planning something. A ghost intervention to get her to talk to them. She giggled at the thought. Wow. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Giggling. Laughing. . . Must be William’s influence. Or maybe I’m growing a heart.


“What if I’m broken?” she asked.

“Oh Buffy, you’re not broken,” William said passionately, and came over to her, taking her hands in his. She yanked them back, but he would not be deterred. “You’re not broken,” he continued, “Because you feel those things. If you were broken, you wouldn’t feel them at all. You’re afraid of them is all. Buffy, you have a soft place to land here, I told you this already, you can tell me; you can talk to me. I won’t push you for anything…”



Staring at the mansion before her as she sat on the fountain the backyard, Buffy’s thought inevitably drifted back to William. That’s where they always seemed to go, unbidden. And she felt this smile spread across her lips. . . it was the strangest thing. It’s the endorphins being released she reasoned, but it was an empty reasoning. She was adept at rationalizing her way through feelings, but even she was finding it hard to do this time – not to mention finding it rather exhausting to do.

“Miss!” Edina shouted bustling across the lawn.

Buffy jumped up from her spot, startled, “What is it? Something wrong?”

“No, Miss, not at all, I apologize for—“

“Edina just get to it, please.”

“I believe she wishes to introduce me.”

Edina spun to face the voice and Buffy smiled as she looked past Edina and found William, with a big smile on his face making his way to her.

“Master William, forgive me, but you should have waited until I asked Miss Buffy if she –“

“Edina, it’s all right,” Buffy assured her, placing a comforting hand on her maid’s arm. “Unless I tell you otherwise, Mas—I mean, William, is always welcome here, all right? And he does not need to be announced.”

Edina huffed a bit. “Very well then. Don’t forget Miss that my niece will be coming up within the half hour.”

Buffy nodded, “Yes, I remember.”

Edina nodded briskly, gave the once over to William and marched off. Buffy and William burst into laughter as soon as she was out of earshot.

“She really does not like you!” Buffy said, pointing at William.

“She likes me all right. She just hates that I don’t wait ‘to be announced’.”

Buffy giggled and sat back down. Looking up at him, she asked,” What are you doing here?” at the same time William said “Why are you meeting her niece?”

“I missed you,” William said simply, sitting down next to her.

Buffy smiled. “Edina’s niece—“she stopped when William put his finger across her lips. He smiled teasingly at her.

“Can you say you missed me too?” he asked huskily.

She met his azure eyes for a brief moment, then dropped her gaze, took his finger from her lips and nodded once in the affirmative.

“I’ll take what I can get,” he said gently and then cleared his throat, sitting up straighter. “So, Edina’s niece?”

“She’s a witch. Owns a shop in town and Edina was telling me that she has learned to work with spirits. She’s learned to cohabitate with them successfully and she suggested I meet with her. I figure why not.”

William stared off at the house. “Maybe if you acknowledged them? Talked to them?”

Buffy sighed, “William. I’m not going to do what my sister did. That’s . . . that’s not me.”

“No one said you had to –“

“Yes, you did. You think I have to. This whole town thinks I should.”

“I just don’t see the point in fighting them. If you’d just—“

“Yeah, everyone has a suggestion for me on what I should do. There’s a lot of things I should do and don’t. I’m tired of everyone wanting me to be just like her.”

“Buffy, I’m not saying that you have to be like her!”

“Aren’t you? You’ve been wanting me to accept my gift since I got here,” Buffy said, standing and facing him. “’Just talk to them Buffy’, ‘Stop fighting them so hard Buffy’. You want me to be just like Dru. And I’m not her. I want to cohabitate with them peacefully, but I do not want them to rule my life. That was her, not me. If you’re looking for her, then . . . well, I’m sorry.” Shaking her head, Buffy started off and William grabbed her, having stood, and brought her up against him forcefully. He kissed her hard, and she shoved him off. “You can’t just do that and expect me to fall into your arms all the time, William.”

He let her go. “I wasn’t trying to do that. I was trying to show you that it’s you I want.”

“Then please stop telling me what I should do all the time. Can’t I figure those things out for myself? I’ve spent most of my life denying that I can talk to the dead and ignoring them at every turn. You asked me to give living here a chance. So I’m looking for ways to stay that’ll make me happy. Not saying that I’m going to do it, but if I’m going to consider it, then I need to explore my options, right?” She finished her explanation, smiling sweetly at him, knowing that throwing his own words back in his face wouldn’t give him much room to argue with her.

He groaned, “Crafty, Summers, crafty. Perhaps you should have been an attorney.”

She laughed, “I’ve never been good at lying.”

“Oi!” Grabbing her once again, he hugged her to him, burying his face in her neck. “Point taken, luv.”

Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him, but said nothing.

“Buffy?”

Disengaging, the pair turned to find – “Hi, I’m Tara. I’m here to help you with your ghosts.”

Buffy stepped forward, extending her hand to greet Tara. “Hi, nice to meet you Tara.”

The somewhat mousey brunette with the warm eyes and kind smile shook her hand gently. “Hello. I’m a little early, I didn’t interrupt anything with your boyfriend?”

“Oh, he’s not – no, you didn’t.” What was the point in explaining anymore? She darted a nervous glance over at William who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. She refrained herself from rolling her eyes at him. “Uh, William, you don’t have to stay for this.”

“Is it all right if I do?” he asked.

“I’d really prefer you didn’t,” Buffy told him. “I kind of want to do this alone with Tara.”

William sighed. “All right, pet. I’ll be waiting inside.”

“William, really—“

“No, it’s all right. I know you secretly want me to stay.”

Buffy this time did roll her eyes. Man, but he was persistent. He winked at her and strolled off, hands shoved in his pockets, whistling.

“Is out here okay to chat?” Buffy asked Tara.

Tara smiled, sitting down on the fountain. “Here is fine. Very beautiful estate. I’ve been here a few times to visit my aunt.”

Buffy looked toward the mansion, before sitting herself. “Yeah, it is nice,” she said, emotionless.

Tara chuckled. “Once more with feeling.”

Buffy smiled weakly. “It’s too big for me. You know how you walk into some places and you feel right at home, and then others you feel alien when you’re there?”

“Most definitely.”

”I feel alien here.”

“Could it have something to do with the fact that you’re in a different country?”

“No, because I felt most comfortable at Will...iam’s,” Buffy said, blushing.

Tara grinned. “I understand. Could it maybe have to do with the spectral activity here?”

“Do you feel it?”

“I do. It’s strong.”

“And imposing,” Buffy muttered.

“I’ve come to learn that spirits are much like little children when they don’t get their way. They demand attention when they know the person in question – which would be you – can hear and see them. I don’t get the impression from them that they wish to do you any harm. They just want to be acknowledged that they too live here. They only wish to live with you harmoniously.”

“That’s exactly what I want. I just don’t want to feel that when I don’t acknowledge them every time they feel the need to present themselves, that I’m being stalked or forced out.”

“They don’t wish to make you feel that way, Buffy.”

Buffy sighed. “The thing is, I’m just not that good at this sort of thing. I never have been. My mode of dealing with this so called gift has been to block them out.”

“I see. Has that worked?”

“At times.”

“So essentially, you just want to be better able to control it.”

”Right. I don’t want to be bombarded or woken up in the middle of the night, or visited while I’m out to lunch, you know?”

“Sometimes ghosts are random, Buffy.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy muttered.

“And however you handle them, they will not always stay respectfully away, however, I can give you some pointers on how to live better with your gift.”

“I’m all ears.”

Turning into Buffy, Tara instructed her to close her eyes. “This is a simple exercise to sort of create a block, a buffer if you will, between them and you. Imagine a bright white light surrounding you, blanketing you all around your person, make it as wide as you can. When you have that image in your mind say ‘Within, without, make a circle all around and all about. So mote it be.’”

Getting the image strong in her mind, Buffy then repeated the words and opened her eyes. “That it?”

Tara smiled, “You can try doing that before you go to bed too, and in your room imagine that light encompassing your entire room. Easy right?”

“Very,” Buffy said enthusiastically.

“You can repeat that little chant as many times as you like until you feel that you’re, well, in your own safe little bubble so to speak. When you feel that you want to take it down a bit, simply state out loud to them that you will talk to them. That way, you keep the bubble up to protect you and buffer you, but you’re letting them know you’re opening yourself to them.”

Buffy grinned, “Baby steps.”

“I have an idea for the house itself.”

”Which is?”

“Well, for one, I would suggest investing in a candle. Any color, any scent, any size. My suggestion is to light it in a central location.”

“The ballroom would be perfect for that!”

“Okay, the ballroom it is,” Tara smiled. ”Light a candle in there once a month, on a day of your choosing, but I suggest the Full or New Moon where spirit activity is the strongest. Lighting it in that room suggests that you wish them to stay in that central location. Or, you can choose an area where you feel them the strongest.”

“They are all over the house,” Buffy said, slightly exasperated.

“That’s because they want your attention,” Tara told her, nudging her slightly. “By lighting the candle, you’re honoring them and acknowledging them. You’re telling them that you only wish to live harmoniously with them and you’re not going to banish them.”

“I understand,” Buffy said, nodding.

“And I have a third idea that is still in the beginning stages if you want to try it.”

“I’m usually not one to try new things,” Buffy admitted, “on the other hand, I am feeling quite desperate here, so how about I hear you out and we’ll take it from there.”

“Fair enough,” Tara said and took a deep breath. “Okay. You’ve chosen the ballroom as your location to centralize them as best you can, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, my idea is to further cement that by placing two chairs in that room and inviting them, one at a time, to chat with you.”

Buffy furrowed her brow, “Elaborate on that more please.”

“In the room, you place two chairs in the center, light your candle and invite them to talk to you. Tell them, and be firm with them, that you only wish to speak with them one at a time. Tell them that you want to live with them peacefully, that you do not wish to banish them from the home and you’d prefer that they only come to you when you visit that room.”

“I never do though.”

“You will on the nights you light that candle,” Tara pointed out.

“Good point.”

“I only suggest that as a temporary procedure until you are more comfortable with them. It’s not entirely fair for them to not have the lay of the house, and until you feel more comfortable with them being here, I suggest you let them know that it is only temporary. Buffy, the important thing to remember here is, if you are willing to work with them, they will be willing to work with you. They can be an asset to you if you let them.”

“An asset?” Buffy said, slightly incredulous.

“Yes, an asset. Think about it this way: You and William are going out one evening and you use the hair straightener or curler, and you forget to turn it off. They can turn it off for you.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Tara smiled wide, “Yes. There has been so many times I have left a candle burning in my shop and have raced back to snuff it, only to find that it’s already been snuffed.”

“How do you know you hadn’t snuffed it anyway?”

“I knew you would ask me that, you and your suspicious mind,” Tara teased, causing Buffy to smile. “Because I’d seen the smoke leaving the candle as if it’d just been snuffed. And often times, they’ve done it without my not even remembering frantically that I’d left it burning and they’ve left me the candle on my desk as a reminder.”

“Oh.”

“So,” Tara said, clapping her hands together. “How about we start with those first and take it from there.”

Buffy smiled, “Thank you, Tara. Certain individuals have been trying to get me to work with them, and so far, I’ve only listened to you.”

“That’s because I’m the objective third party.”

“And a witch.”

Tara chuckled, “That too. Look, I have some supplies in my car, I was wondering – would you like it if I did a house cleansing for you?”

Buffy frowned, “How do you do that?”

“Sage, an herb, it has cleansing and protective qualities.”

“Is it something I could do?”

Tara blinked, “You want to do it?”

“Well, it is sort of mine.”

Tara gazed at her curiously, “You don’t trust easily do you?”

Buffy shook her head. “I don’t.”

“Believe it or not, I completely understand. You just met me, and having my energy in your house that you already don’t feel comfortable in, can be a little daunting. I’ll just give you the sage and all you really need to do is just go in room to room and burn it around doors and windows and just all over. Trust me, you’ll feel so much better after. The house will feel lighter even.”

Buffy sighed, “Oh that would be nice.”

“I think I’ll go in and visit my aunt for a bit if that’s all right?”

Buffy gave her a look, “Of course it’s all right. Take her out for lunch if you want even.”

Tara laughed, “She would never!”

Buffy laughed, “Tell her I demand she go.”

“I’ll try!” Tara called out over her shoulder as she made her way back in the mansion, passing William as she went.

Buffy grinned as William came over, grinning himself. “So,” he drawled, “How’d the pow-wow go?”

“It went very well. She gave me a lot to start with.”

“So,” he said slowly, wrapping his arms around and nuzzling her neck. “You feel better?”

“Much. Want to take a trip into town with me?”

“I’d love to kitten.”

“Want to help cleanse the house with me too?”

“What do you mean, ‘cleanse’ it? Edina would have a fit if she heard you needed to clean it some more.”

Buffy giggled, “I’ll explain on the way. It’s all ‘witchy’.”

“Does that mean we get to do it naked?” he asked, leering down at her.

Laughing, Buffy pushed away from him and started to run toward the house. “Come on!”

“You seem much more chipper,” William observed as he watched Buffy select a thick, white candle for the ghosts. She’d relayed to him all that Tara had told her to try, and it was the first time since he’d met her that she’d actually seemed positive about something.

She looked at him absently, sniffing the candle, “Do I?”

“You even seem excited,” he noted.

She shrugged, “I suppose I am. Strange huh? Buffy Summers gets excited.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, pet.”

“I know, I’m teasing you. You’re right though. It’s not something that happens often. I feel like...”

“Like?”

“I feel like I had some kind of disease or some kind of illness that I didn’t know how to fix, and I wasn’t really coping all that well with it. So this person comes along and tells me how to fix it, or at least how to cope better with it, and it feels like this weight is being lifted. I’m not plagued with it – or at least, not as I was before. I feel like I have control over it.”

“And we know how you feel about control,” William joked.

She smirked, “Ha ha.”

“Pet, I’ve been telling you to talk to them for a while now.”

“No offense, William, but I like Tara’s methods better.”

“No offense taken. I can understand listening to the seasoned witch rather than myself.”

“Okay, now I feel bad.”

William grinned. “I’m just joshing you.”

Sticking her tongue out at him, she walked away to peruse more candles. Grinning, William followed her and stepped up behind her, putting his hands on her hips and biting her earlobe gently. “I’m happy to see you feel more confident about things.”

Buffy froze. “William, this doesn’t mean I’m staying.”

Now he froze. “I know.”

“I just don’t want you to . . . get the wrong idea. I’m trying this, but no one said it would work for me—“

William spun her around to face him, Buffy letting out an ‘eep!’ of surprise in the process. “Now don’t do that,” he admonished her sternly. “Don’t take it all back now. You were doing well with the positive thinking and I don’t want you taking a turn into Negative Town.”

Buffy smiled. “Negative Town?”

“Yes.”

“Roger that,” she said in mock seriousness, “No turn taking into Negative Town.”

“I’m serious, Buffy. Having a positive outlook is half the battle.”

“Are you an attorney or a motivational speaker?”

He gave her a look. “I see how it is. Make fun of the guy who’s trying to help you.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Maybe I don’t your help. Maybe I’m capable of doing these things on my own. Maybe I just needed to figure them out on my own. Maybe—“

“That’s a lot of maybes,” William said huskily and nipped at her lips. “Maybe you need to stop overthinking.”

She snorted. “You have met me, right?”

He laughed. “That sense of humor Dru claimed you didn’t have is developing more and more as the—“

”She said that?”

William laughed again, harder this time. “I never pegged you as gullible though...”

Buffy swatted him lightly, “If you don’t behave yourself, I’ll sick those ghosts of mine on you.”

“Might want to make sure I do something worthy of that first,” he whispered and leaned in kissing her quickly and voraciously.

Someone clearing their throat nearby caused Buffy to push him off. She smiled apologetically at the old woman watching them distastefully and gave William a pointed look.

Walking away with a candle in hand, Buffy turned to William who was following her to the cash register. “What is it with you and public displays of affection?” she hissed.

He shrugged. “I told you I couldn’t keep my hands off you. Did you think I was just making that up?”

She said nothing, but he could make out the distinct beginnings of a blush.

********

It was with some trepidation that Buffy quietly and serenely, almost as if she herself were preparing for ritual—and in a way she was—brought the cream, vanilla scented candle into the ballroom and placed it on a long forgotten table, a silver plate in the shape of a star underneath it.

William grabbed a chair from the kitchen and hauled it to the room for her, placing the chair near the table.

She took a step back and surveyed her work. It didn’t seem like much, but it was effective, at least in her mind. It spoke to her of a time out of time, and a room devoted entirely to her quest for peace with the spirits that dwelled in her home.

“Is tonight the night?” Buffy smiled at how the atmosphere to the room had already been set, and confirmed even more now by William’s need to whisper.

“Tomorrow is the New Moon. I will light the candle then.”

“Will you speak with them?”

“Maybe.”

William tugged on her hand, “Come on, pet.”

She looked at him curiously and let him lead her out of the room. Once the door was closed, he confessed. “I have to say, the idea of it is a little…”

“Freaky?”

“Yes. I mean, I saw Dru do it once, but not with the whole chair and candle thing. She was more like a John Edwards, you know? Talking to me and relaying information, but it was like just having a conversation with her.”

“Well, I’ll be having a conversation with someone.”

“I know, and I feel ridiculous for saying this considering how I’ve hounded you about all this –but it is freaky to think of. I mean, I know that when I’m here, I’m surrounded by them most likely, I know that when I’m with you I most likely am, but setting up just a candle and chair makes it seem. . . “

“Real?”

“Yes, real. I have this image of you in that room, talking to someone that will eventually fill that chair…” he shivered and Buffy smiled.

“Welcome to my world,” she chirped.

“Yeah…so can I watch?”

Now she laughed, “That would be a very adamant no.”

“They wouldn’t like it?”

“That—and behold how I suddenly care how they feel.”

“Do you think that’s because Tara assured you they only want to cohabitate with you pleasantly? That they’re really not trying to drive you round the bend?”

Buffy nodded slowly, “Yes, I think that helps a great deal, actually. Also because I think of how they’ve lived here so long with Dru… I feel like they’re a part of her too. Sounds crazy, right?”

“Maybe you’ll see her,” William suggested hesitantly.

“I doubt it. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…I think I’m still angry with her for leaving me.”

William gathered her into his arms. “You have me,” he offered lightly. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Buffy didn’t quite know what to say to that. Thank you? I’m glad? That’s great? Give him a pat on the back and smile? She just didn’t know. She wasn’t used to anyone but Dru being there for her, and it was something she felt alien to. Coupled with the fact that she still didn’t know how she felt about him other than she was severely attracted to him. She was afraid to delve into the realm of ‘emotions’, so she was really just trying to take it as it came. She hoped if she could get at least one aspect of her life tidied up, the rest would somehow fall into place.

Life, she knew though, had a way of not always working out that way.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Buffy began the next morning while Edina bustled around her, cleaning up the kitchen.

“Are you speaking to me, Miss?” Edina asked.

Buffy smiled as she munched on her bacon. “I am.”

“I apologize. My mind is a tad scattered today I’m afraid.”

“Oh? Does it have to do with the house? Is there something I should know about?” Buffy asked, concerned.

Edina paused in her work, and then shook her head. “No, Miss. Nothing like that. Just. . . family problems.”

“Oh? Something wrong with Tara? I really like her, she was quite helpful.”

“Was she?” Edina didn’t sound as if she believed her.

“Oh, yes, she was! She helped me a great deal. I’ve decided to employ the methods she suggested. I should probably tell you –“

“The ballroom is off limits? I know, Miss. Tara informed me of it all yesterday and I came across your candle already,” Edina muttered tersely.

“Edina? Are you all right? I mean, you said family squabbles, but you seem quite tense. Maybe I could help?”

Edina looked up from the counter she’d been scrubbing to death. “No, Miss, I am very sorry for being so abrupt this morning. I have always been out of sorts with my family, and I fear that when I see some of them, it has a tendency to bring up old squabbles and issues. It rather puts me on edge.” She smiled brightly. “I am glad to hear though that Tara was of good help to you.”

“Well, if you ever need to talk or anything—“

“Thank you, Miss, but it’s quite all right. Now tell me – what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking of fixing this place up and opening it as a Bed & Breakfast. Maybe it’s something you would like to help me with?”

Edina froze, paling considerably. “You do not wish to keep this house, Miss? You wish to be rid of it?”

“Well, not rid of it—“

“Miss, may I be completely frank?”

“You may.”

“This is a gorgeous home. I am all for fixing it up – but sharing it with the public after? Wouldn’t you want to keep this as your home. It was left for you.”

“I’ve always felt this house was too big for me. I thought it was too big for my sister –“

“You do not spend enough time here. It’s a lovely home. All its nooks, crannies, squeaky floorboards – do you know that my grandmother and mother lived in this home before me?”

Buffy shook her head, she hadn’t realized that this was such an issue for the woman, but clearly it was. She hadn’t known, also, the history that Edina had with the house. Clearly, she was quite attached, as anyone would be having grown up in any home. She felt guilt flood her. She really didn’t know much about the house, about Dru’s time here, and about the staff that inhabited the home for so long. All she knew was how she felt in regards to the house.

“The house is old, I’ll give you that, but it’s home,” Edina went on, quite passionately. “Just as it was passed on from generations of Lords and Ladies that inhabited and owned it; so it was passed on in my family as well. To open it up and use it for the public would be demeaning to it.”

“I disagree,” Buffy said, feeling somewhat uneasy by Edina’s passionate display. “I think opening it up in such a way would bring even more life to it. Plus, it would be sharing its beauty with others. Edina, you wouldn’t have to leave. You could stay.”

“And where would you be?”

Buffy was startled by Edina’s behavior. She’d wanted the woman to open up and feel free to talk with her, but now that she was, Buffy wasn’t sure it was exactly what she wanted anymore. “I’d be. . . I don’t know. I’d either stay or I’d go back to the States. I haven’t worked out that –“

“So you’re saying I could feel free to stay here and make money for you.”

“Edina,” Buffy said firmly. “It was left to me. It is ultimately my decision what happens to the house. Since it is the last connection I have with my sister, I do not wish to just abandon it, but rather bring some life to it. Lord knows there’s already a lot of death in it.”

Edina pursed her lips together.

“I wished to talk with you about it since you have been the one in charge taking care of the home. I figured it’d only be fair to include you in such plans. You love your job, it seems, and since I am not sure whether or not I want to stay here or not, I figured you could keep your job, oversee the home, keep up with the maintenance of it and I could hire someone to take over the business part of it, or I would stay and do it. I’m merely figuring out my options, that’s all.”

Edina nodded. “Excuse me, Miss,” she said primly and walked slowly out of the kitchen leaving Buffy to wonder what other problems the blasted house was going to give her.

********

“You want to what?” William asked, dumbfounded.

Buffy sighed heavily. Apparently her Bed and Breakfast idea was not flying well. She’d decided after her confrontation with Edina that morning, she’d go see William at his office in the hopes that he could give her some help in what she was thinking for the house.

“Bed and –“

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Buffy, forgive me, but wouldn’t it make more sense for you to open it and stay?”

“Well, not necessarily. I could have someone else run it for me—“

“Do you realize how much money you’d lose first before you gained?”

Buffy sighed heavily. “No, I don’t realize apparently. I’m weighing my options, that’s why I came here to see you.”

“I am all for you opening the house as a Bed and Breakfast, Buffy. But it makes more sense in the long run for you to stay and run it instead of handing it over and trying to be a silent partner overseas for something as precarious as a new, budding bed and breakfast. You could always hire help to run it –“

“Like Edina?”

William furrowed his brow. “Edina? Does she know anything about business?”

“Like I do?” Buffy said incredulously.

“Perhaps you don’t, but I do,” he grinned.

“Of course you do, why am I not surprised?” Buffy said sarcastically. “What else can you do William? Can you knit? Milk a cow? Are you also working on the cure for cancer? Is there Nobel Peace Prize kicking around I don’t know about?”

“Now, now…the Nobel Peace Prize will come after I invent the cure for cancer, silly girl.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “What does it matter if I stay or go? If I can have someone take care of the Bed and Breakfast and I cover the costs as they come up for damages or things we need –“

“Buffy. You’re jumping too far ahead. Think first that you have to fix the house up. You have some empty rooms that are in need of maintenance and furnishings. Then there are permits and loans, all these things that will take time and money—“

“Yes, and I have quite a bit of an inheritance here—“

“But time, Buffy. It will still take time. Longer than the month you were looking to stay for.”

Buffy sighed heavily and sat back, arms crossed across her chest. “Maybe it’d be worth it to just clean up the house and then see how I feel.”

William grinned. “I have a feeling that you’ll fall in love with it.”

“Maybe I’ll love it so much, I’ll want to share it with others.”

“Maybe you will. And then you stay.”

“We’ll see, William.”

“Is tonight the night you commune with your ghosts?”

Buffy giggled, despite feeling somewhat setback. “Yes.”

“May I take you out for dinner before the big event?”

She took a deep breath. “Sure. I might even give Edina the night off since I seemed to have upset her so much this afternoon.”

“She’ll get over it. And you did tell her you weren’t kicking her out. I figured she’d have loved the idea. The ability to have all these people to take care of and even more things to look after—“

“You’re being a snob, William. You’re making fun of her. It’s her home, too.”

“I’m not making fun of her, I’m stating fact. If her mother and grandmother did live in that house, if she did in fact grow up there, then it’s in her blood. She doesn’t want anything else, Buffy. You know well enough of her by now to see how much of a control freak she is. The house may very well be hers in a sense, but you know who else’s it is?”

“Dru’s.”

“Yours.”

“Yes,” she sighed, “Mine. And all the little ghosties that inhabit it.”

William had called on Buffy on her way home to remind her to wear something, as he put it, “snazzy”. He was going to treat her to real night out complete with dinner and dancing.

“They still do that?” Buffy asked, half innocently, and half sarcastically.

“Yes, they still do that, Miss Snarky.”

So now Buffy was presented with the task of finding something nice to wear. Not something she was used to doing. At least not for a . . . well, a date. It was a date, right? Whatever it was they were doing, it had to be some form of dating. Though, she hated that word. It put some kind of label on it, made it seem as if there was a level of commitment involved.

It was strange, no she was strange perhaps. She seemed to have no qualms about still going out with him, spending time with him, kissing him, hell even coming to see him for advice, but when something like a label attached itself to what they were doing, that was when she felt closed in; suffocated.

How was it possible that the girl who never had any relationships, felt suffocated? Shouldn’t she be jumping in with both feet into this? Embracing it and soaking it up for fear it might fade away and never present itself again? Wasn’t that how most did it?

She remembered listening to Dru go on and on when she had a new romance on the horizon. It was always the same thing: she’d start out so excited and unable to eat, every thought had to do with her new beau, and every dream was about him. Then she’d spend night and day with him and it was bliss, bliss, bliss, and love, love, love. Eventually though, the fallout came and a break-up would ensue. She’d end miserable and unable to eat. After a few days of that, the anger phase would kick in and that’s when Buffy would get to hear how he did this and it annoyed her, and she knew it wouldn’t last because of that, or how he bothered her a lot of the time and how she just never said anything. Then she’d go through these periods where she was sure to be alone forever. Then she’d meet someone and it would start all over again. There were always variations on how it all unfolded, but basically, they each seemed to follow a distinct pattern.

Buffy often wondered if boredom ever set in. How many times could you do the same thing over and over before you got completely sick of it? Didn’t knowing how it was going to end get a little old and depressing? It seemed the inevitability of it was monotonous, and it seemed to take a lot out of a person. At least it took a lot out of Buffy having to hear about it.

There are things you do with William over and over and never get tired of. . . like kissing . . .the voice inside her head told her, sounding like a teasing child. Well, yes, that was true. She was convinced however, that was just hormonal, a combination of hormones and never having done any of that before. Though she couldn’t deny that she did feel things for William that she’d never felt with another. Companionship. Safe. Comfortable. Dare she say it – even happy. She felt a smile bloom on her face by just the thought of him. Endorphins, she told herself time and again, you smile and endorphins are released. You kiss him and it’s the same thing. So naturally you would associate that endorphin high with him. It was, she had to admit, getting harder and harder to tell herself these things.

Part of her wanted to just embrace it and enjoy it and live. Have that fun and romance that William seemed to promise, and take the memories with her when she went back . . . if she went back. However, the thought of nothing but memories of William were harder to think of than she thought. It was downright terrifying. So much so that she wasn’t sure what frightened her most: Intimacy or losing William.

Possibly both.

But it was inevitable right? It was the way of the world. The way romances seemed to go. And yet everyone on God’s Green Earth flocked and rushed to them like moths to a flame, even if they ended up getting burnt in the process. Did Buffy have it in her to deal with that setback? She never was one to handle rejection well. And even though she knew what it felt like to not be loved, it didn’t mean that it made things any easier. In fact it hurt worse. The two people in the world that were supposed to love her the most could barely stand the sight of her.

And now the only person in the world, who had loved her, was dead.

Buffy had never been one to cling to someone, not even to her own sister, but she was finding as time passed that she was beginning to depend on William. That was a frightening concept: To depend on someone. Not in the sense of needing him or she felt she’d perish. In the sense of the things he did that he just did without thinking. It was those things that he did for her that meant everything – his silent support, his encouragement, even his persistence sometimes, and the way he always had a smile for her. Those were all the things she had come to depend on and look for. It was the whole reason why he was the one she chose to discuss the B&B idea with. He was always honest with her; he would give it to her straight. Even if she didn’t always want to hear what he had to say.

So, a dress. Buffy decided to treat herself a bit. She decided to do something that she hardly ever engaged in and often looked down upon: She was going to shop.

********

Coming up the walk, having passed an unidentified car in the driveway, Buffy wondered who had come for a visit. She decided it must not have been for her, and perhaps for Edina. Entering the home, she felt something immediately different. Knitting her brows, with her dress on a hanger in one hand, she took pause.

Something about the house felt different. For one, it was quite quiet. She was used to hearing at least some whispering just on the outskirts of her consciousness, and feeling at least something around her.

She felt something, but at the same time, nothing. It was hard to define and Buffy wondered if they knew something was up and were playing tricks on her. No. They wouldn’t – would they? Perhaps they were as nervous as she and were hiding out until the moment of truth.

“Miss? Something wrong?” Edina asked, coming around the corner and up to her. She smiled. “You’re standing in the doorway as if you’re waiting for someone. Is Mr. Giles with you?”

Buffy shook her head, “No, sorry, I’m . . . who just left?”

“That was another niece of mind, Tara’s sister, Darla.”

“Everything all right?”

“Quite. Some fences needed mending. It’s all taken care of, or at least in the process of being taken care of. Shall I take up your dress?”

“Oh, you don’t have –“

“Let me, please. Consider it my apology for my rude behavior this morning. It is your house to do with what you like and it is not my place to say yay or nay.”

“Edina, I’d want you to be part of it, no matter what. This is your home as well.”

“Have you made any definite decisions yet?”

“Not yet. Only that I want to refurbish those rooms that haven’t been touched. It seems a waste to have all this space and not have anything done to them.”

Edina smiled, “I agree. Now, let me take your pretty dress. Have you got a date with Mr. Giles?”

Buffy blushed and smiled, “I do.”

“Would you like me to draw your bath for you?”

Buffy smiled. William was right. It was in her blood to do this sort of thing. “Sure.”

Seeming pleased, Edina bustled off and Buffy stood there, listening carefully. Nothing. Entering the ballroom, she stepped inside and listened once more. “Hello?” she whispered. Still nothing.

“Maybe tonight,” Buffy whispered to herself. She snorted, “I’ll probably get ambushed.”

Stepping out of the steaming bath in which Buffy had almost nodded off at how deeply relaxing it was, she wrapped her fluffy peach towel around her and padded into her bedroom. Her dress was hanging up on the door of the closet and she smiled at the sight of it. It was fun, light and airy. It was chocolate colored, with a shimmering charmeuse bodice with a tie, and then it flowed into a georgette skirt, just grazing the tops of her knees. It also came with a matching gauzy shawl. It was flowy, free and yet elegant. She had purchased matching stilettos and simple gold earrings.

She couldn’t wait for William to see her in it. She had to be honest; it was addicting to hear how he thought she was beautiful, even if she herself never thought of such things, it felt good to hear. It made her think that maybe she was. Like having a shot of espresso to get going, hearing William tell her how beautiful she was, was like having a shot of self-confidence. It made her hold her head a tad higher, gave her more encouragement to not hide herself from public view. She had a tendency to want to just fade into the background, when William made her feel beautiful however, she wanted to be seen, she wanted to know if it were just him, or if others found her that way too.

Of course, she’d never admit that to him. Or even really to herself.

So, it was with great care that Buffy prepared herself for William. She applied makeup carefully, taking great care to apply more than just her usual foundation and mascara. Further, she blow dried her hair, instead of pulling it back or just letting it tumble around her shoulders to dry. She even painted her toes and nails a deep red color. She wore nude hose, deciding that black would not match the almost black, but not quite, chocolate of the dress.

When Edina bustled by the door to announce that William had arrived; Buffy felt her heart flutter with nerves. Spritzing on a light perfume, she took a deep breath and exited the safety of her room in search of William.

********

William was feeling that things were staring to fall into place – finally. Buffy was making plans that would most likely extend her stay past the original month she’d agreed to, she had sought help for controlling her ghosts and her gift, and she had a lightness about her that she hadn’t had when he’d first met her. If he didn’t know better, he’d say she was starting to become comfortable in her own skin. He sensed hesitancy in her, as if she weren’t sure she should abandon completely the teachings of her bastard parents. He guessed they’d ingrained her unworthiness so deeply within her that she most likely unconsciously felt if she gave up that teaching, either something bad would happen to prove she was indeed unworthy, or else it would place her in a position to have to start over and re-learn a new way of life that she was not accustomed to. A daunting experience for anyone. When you’ve had certain concepts drilled in your mind, the changing of them can be difficult, often making one wonder what their place was and who they in fact were. He was willing to bet that was something that would send Buffy in a tailspin. Her mode of life had been one of isolation, of shutting out her feelings, of shutting out others. Coming into a world with even a new friend that actually cared was a big step for her, and he wondered if she even noted how significant it was.

He’d hinted at the feelings he had for her, let her know by skirting around the issue that he was falling for her. He wondered how she’d feel if she found out he had skirted right past ‘falling’ and was now fallen.

He was in love with her.

So, yes, things were going well, but he knew that things could only go well for so long before some upheaval got in the way. What it was, he did not know, only that it was there, tugging slightly at him. Something had to go wrong. He supposed it was quite a negative way to look at life, and perhaps by thinking that something had to go wrong only because everything was going right, was just putting energy into that idea and therefore making it happen.

Either way, it was best to be prepared. Though experience had also taught him that no amount of preparing can really prepare you. The bad things still managed to pack a punch. He just had to make sure they could weather the storm, and weather it together.

He heard her coming before he saw her, and he smiled up in the direction of the staircase. His smile dropped, however, when he saw her, and was replaced by a look of complete awe. She was a vision. An angel.

And all his.

She smiled at him. “Hello.”

“Buffy…” he breathed and shook his head. Moving toward her, he held out his hand as she neared and she slid her hand in his.

“You’ve never been speechless before, William,” she grinned.

“You blind me, sweetheart. You are a vision. A gorgeous vision.”

She smiled and drank him in. “You are too.”

“No, my love, nothing compared to you.”

He caught her slight flickering of surprise at that slip, but said nothing. Squeezing her hand, he brought it to his lips and placed a small kiss on the back. “Ready?”

She nodded, and he couldn’t resist claiming her mouth quickly before heading out the door.

********

William’s brow furrowed, “You felt nothing?” he asked, and sipped his wine.

She nodded. “Nothing.”

“But I thought that when you blocked them out, you felt nothing anyway?”

She shook her head, “No, I always feel something, William. Not strong and overbearing, but I always feel something. Kind of . . . kind of like feeling someone is watching you.”

“And you don’t feel as though anyone were watching you?”

She smiled. “For lack of a better way to explain it, yes.”

“Did it feel as though they’d gone? Or do you think the simple act of setting up the ballroom gave them the hint to back off?”

“I’m not sure. Even after I’d set up the room, I still felt something. When I say I felt nothing this afternoon, I felt nothing.”

“Do you think that maybe they were lacking in the energy to coexist around you?”

Buffy gave him a funny look, “How do you know about energy and ghosts?”

He cleared his throat, “I’ve been looking up on it a bit. Want to learn what I can, you know?”

She nodded slowly and took one last bite of her ravioli, and a sip of her wine. She gazed thoughtfully, almost dreamily, at the couples swaying to the soft music on the dance floor.

Smiling, he pushed out and came round to her, “Mi’lady, may I have this dance?”

She smiled up at him, and slid his hand into hers, rising from her chair. Guiding her to the dance floor, William felt his heart begin to race as a rush of emotion washed over him, causing him to want to drop to his knees and pledge his undying love.

Always the romantic poet at heart.

Drifting into his arms, she wrapped around him as if she were made to fit his body, and the few times he’d had the pleasure of feeling her against him, he felt that had to be true. Moving fluidly to the music, she smiled up at him and his heart constricted. Leaning in, he breathed in her ear. “Buffy. . . do you have any idea what you do to me?”

Clearly, she did not expect this, for she trembled a bit and there was a wobble in her voice when she replied, “No.”

“You undo me. With a simple look, with the flash of your eyes, your smile, with the sound of your voice.”

“William,” she whispered unsteadily.

“Tell me, tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You . . . you…”

“Yes, tell me,” he encouraged huskily.

“You make my knees weak,” she told him in a rush.

“Then we are even then, for you make my knees weak as well. Do you know what I want to do?”

He heard her gulp. “No.”

“I want to lay you down on my bed. Worship your body the way you deserve to be worshipped. I want to touch every silky part of your gorgeous skin and feel it under my hands. I want to feel your flesh against mine, I want to feel you writhe underneath me as I make you moan my name.”

“William,” she whimpered.

“I want to make love to you. I want to slide into you, join my body to yours and love you like no one has ever been loved before.”

Her whimper of his name once more, sent him over the edge and separated from her. “Let’s go,” he muttered and stalked off, leading her by the hand to their table.

“William?” she questioned.

“I want to make my fantasy real, Buffy, will you let me?” he asked her huskily, slapping down his card on the bill and shoving it in the hands of the waiter that passed by.

“William, I – I – the ghosts.”

He cupped her hands in his face. “They can wait, I cannot,” and he crushed his mouth to hers in wholly demanding and possessive kiss.

Heat spread through Buffy’s entire body, making her feel as though she were on fire. She wanted him; she wanted all those things William had just expressed. Only...

Pressing his forehead against hers while he waited for his card to come back, he said “What? What is it? You’re hesitating.”

“Will, I – I do want you.”

He groaned and kissed her again, paying no attention to the people around them that were gaping at them in disgust. This was, after all, a nice ritzy restaurant, and the both of them were acting as if they were teenagers in heat. And, honestly, she was in heat. She wanted him so much...she’d never wanted anyone before like this. She’d felt desire, yes, she’d felt lust, but not like this. Not that heady feeling of having to have.

But, the ghosts. The ghosts...Her brain was torn between what she felt she should do and what she desperately wanted to do.

“Buffy, they’re not going anywhere. Tara said you could choose a night, any night. Technically, you have three days of the New Moon – the day before, the day of, and the day after, right?”

“Right, but—“

“Buffy, this is our time.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Please, don’t turn me away. Don’t deny yourself pleasure, you’ve done that far too much. Throw caution to the wind and be with me, please.”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded, giving herself over to him and to what her body was demanding. She wanted him, and she didn’t want to wait. Who knew if she’d change her mind given enough time to think. She more than likely would out of her need for self-preservation. It was hard to think right now what she needed to preserve herself for. Not with William looking as if he wanted to devour her and not with her feeling she very much wanted to devour him back. She always gave in to reason, never went against it out of fear, and it was time now to do just as William had said and throw caution to the wind.

Nearly growling when the waiter finally returned, William signed the slip while she grabbed her purse and shawl. He nearly dragged her out of the restaurant, but she didn’t mind. His primal desire and possessiveness stirred something inside her, and turned her on even more.

Once in his car, Buffy felt a case of the jitters come on. “William, I – you know I’ve never done this before and I’m not sure what I’m doing—“

He turned to her, car running, and kissed her. “Buffy, whatever we do together is going to be amazing. Trust me, luv?”

She nodded, “I do, William, I trust you. I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t worry, I’m right here and I won’t hurt you.”

Taking a deep breath as William attended to driving; Buffy stared out the window and gave herself a pep talk to calm herself. She could do this, and what was more – she was going to do this.

********

William was trying hard to keep his baser instincts in check. If he didn’t, he would have taken Buffy right in the car. It positively overwhelmed him how much he wanted her. It was almost frightening the intensity to which he needed to have her, and not just to make love to, but all of it – to love, to cherish, to have and to hold. She was in his system, and there was no fix for it, and he didn’t want it. To lose the pleasure of her everything would be no existence for him. After thinking that once upon a time he’d never find love again, to finding it with someone so opposite him, it was staggering.

He was afraid to tell her, for he was afraid it’d make her change her mind, but once they did this, there was no turning back.

She would be his.

********

Buffy wondered if it were possible to feel so nervous, your heart would just explode. She was so nervous that she was trembling. She was about to let William get closer to her than any human alive had ever been. She was about to do something she never thought she’d do. What if she were horrible at it? What if he hated having sex with her so much, he never wanted to do it again? She was petrified of intimacy, of being that close to someone – what would the aftermath bring? Would it make their tenuous relationship or break it?

“Buffy, look at me,” William implored her once he’d pulled into the driveway.

She looked at him, eyes wide with fear. “Yes?”

“Sweetheart, don’t be afraid.”

“What if I’m bad?”

He smiled, “Not possible. I’m right here and I’ll teach you,” he kissed her hungrily. “I’ll teach you everything,” he whispered.

Leading her into his home, Buffy thought about how the last time she’d visited, she’d never seen his bedroom. He stopped in the living room. “Stay here, all right? Don’t move an inch. I’m just going to make it nice for you, all right?”

“William—“

“Sshhh. I want to do it. Let me, okay?”

Nodding, she smiled as she watched him sprint off, shedding his suit jacket and tie on the way. She was wringing her hands in anticipation, and just when she thought she’d go after him, he came strolling down the hall, whistling. Stopping in front of her, he smiled, and smoothed her hair on the side of her head. “Ready, luv?”

”Yes,” she whispered, and he took her hands, stopping her from wringing them.

His bedroom was colored with maroons and black. She figured it was black anyway, since he’d lit long taper candles all over his room, shedding a soft, ethereal glow to their surroundings. The walls were painted maroon and had various bright paintings splashed with primary colors on the walls. The bed, which lay in the center of the room, was a large canopy bed and the bed sheets looked satin. The furnishing was sparse, but he was also a man, Buffy thought.

Leading her to the side of the bed, William turned to her “Are you all right?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. “Just nervous.”

“We all had our first time, it’s normal. If you feel uncomfortable or need to stop at any time, you just let me know, understand? You say stop and we stop.”

“Okay.”

“Now,” he murmured, “let’s take this off,” and he pulled lightly at her shawl, pulling it in his hands and then discarding it in a cushioned chair nearby. “Why don’t you sit down, luv?”

She sat on the bed and he knelt before her. She looked at him, panicked. “What are you doing?”

He smiled, “Going to take off your shoes.” Lifting one foot, he removed her stiletto and then lifting the other, he did the same. He looked back up at her. “I think next time; I want to see you in just these.”

She blushed at that and then panicked again when his hands slid up her legs and grazed just under her dress. “Time for the hose to go,” he murmured. “May I?”

Gulping, she agreed and he smoothed his warm hands under her dress and up over her hips, pulling at the band at her waist. She watched him intently; lifting to accommodate him and feeling herself shudder at the eroticism of it.

“I’m gonna get you a garter belt, luv. Then you can wear nylons and those shoes with them. Sound good?”

She nodded and he extracted them, tossing them carelessly over his shoulder. He slid his hands back up her legs and kissed her knees. “Buffy, luv, I want you to lay back, for me. Can you do that?”

She did as he requested, pushing up on the bed a bit more and laying down. When he didn’t lie next to her right away, she looked up to find him kicking off his shoes and toeing off his socks, watching her all the while as if he meant to devour her. Then he unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes dancing in merriment when she licked her lips as he slowly exposed his broad chest to her. “Do you like watching me, Buffy?”

“Yes,” she managed to croak out.

“Good.” And he discarded his shirt in the same manner he did her panty hose. He stared down at her. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you look spread out on my bed? You look like a Goddess.”

She turned away, not knowing what to say.

“Look at me, pet.”

Looking up at him, she watched him prowl over to her like a cat, and she became fascinated with the way his muscles rippled and moved in his arms. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and gliding her hands up his arms and down his back as he hovered over her.

He grinned down at her, “That’s my girl. Follow your instincts, Buffy, they won’t steer you wrong. Especially when it comes to making love.”

Following her next instinct, she lifted her head slightly and he took the hint, meeting her lips in heady kiss. Resting his weight on her slightly, he gazed down at her, panting slightly. She could feel his hands at her sides, bunching up her dress. “May I take this off, Buffy?”

“Oh God,” she said, feeling her nerves return with a vengeance.

“Pet, relax. It’s all right. Just let me take it off for you. Gonna make you feel so good, Buffy.”

She nodded, bracing herself, “Okay, do it.”

He chuckled, “Need you to help me a bit, luv.”

Sitting up, she helped him pull her dress up and over. She tried to reach for it, to cover herself with something, but William evaded her, chuckling.

“No, no, luv. Want to see my girl.” He kneeled between her spread legs, gazing down at her, drinking her in. “So gorgeous,” he whispered reverently.

She wore a cream and lace thong and matching bra. She was trying to kill him, he decided. She was so fucking gorgeous and she was his, all his. He kissed her hard, crept his tongue in her mouth, and she reciprocated with a moan, twining her arms about him and pushing her body up to his instinctively. Oh yes, she was his all right.

Trailing kisses down along her jaw and neck, he tugged on her earlobe with his teeth and licked her pulse point; delighting in the moans and whimpers she was emitting, and the way she undulated against him. Kissing his way down her arm, he slid the straps of her bra down on both sides and when her breasts were exposed, he slid a hand behind her and undid the snap. Covering one breast with his hand, he licked the nipple of the other and suckled it into his mouth. She emitted a gasp and he looked up at her.

“Feel okay?” he asked, slipping the bra completely off her.

She nodded. “F-feels good.”

He smiled and kissed her softly. “You know what your skin tastes like?”

“The lavender soap I use earlier?”

He chuckled, “No. Your skin tastes like honey.”

“Th-that’s good?”

”Mmmm...” he murmured laving her other nipple, “So very good.” Dotting kisses down past her breasts and down her belly, he felt when Buffy got nervous again and froze. Skimming a hand lightly across her thong, he looked up at her. “It’s all right, sweetheart. Gonna make you feel good.”

“I already feel good.”

He grinned. “Then I’m gonna make you feel better than good.”

“But..but...”

”What, my love?”

“The...taste!”

“Happen to be a fan of it, and I know I’m gonna love yours. Bet you taste like strawberries.”

She stared at him, aghast.

“Only one way to find out,” he murmured and yanked off her thong in a snap, tearing it. She let out a yelp.

“William!”

He grinned mischievously, bringing his eyes to the delectable pussy before him. The minx shaved. Smiling smugly, he used his fingers to spread her labia and dove in, like a child would with a hot fudge sundae, and licked up her slit.

“Oooh!” she exclaimed.

“Like that, kitten?” he asked.

“Yes!”

“For the record, you do taste like strawberries.”

“Really?” She didn’t sound as though she believed him.

“Really,” and he dove in again, licking, swirling, and sucking her clit into his mouth. All the while, Buffy moaned and moved her hips, and when he stuck his tongue as far up her he could, she shouted his name and came.

“Oh God,” she murmured over and over, “Oh God.”

Crawling back up to her he kissed her gently. “Did I keep my promise, kitten? Make you feel good.”

“Oh God, yes,” she breathed. “You—you like that?”

He nodded, “Love it. Especially doing it to you.”

“Where are you going?” she asked, almost fearfully, when he stood.

“Relax, kitten, I’m not leaving you. Just taking off my pants.”

She blushed prettily, “Oh.”

He loved the way she watched him so intently as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. She was about to get a surprise—

“You’re not wearing any boxers!” she exclaimed, looking away quickly and then back slowly.

He chuckled as he watched her. “God, you’re adorable.”

She stared at his cock. “William, that is not going to fit inside me.”

“Oh, it will, kitten, it will.”

”There’s no way.”

He grinned and kicked his pants off. Crawling back up to her, he peppered kisses up and along her body. “It will, kitten,” he promised huskily. “Do you want to touch it?”

She looked up at him, shyly. “I—sort of.”

“Touch it, Buffy. That way it won’t seem so frightening.” He encouraged and laid on his side next to her.

Tentatively, she reached between them and slid her hand down his stomach to which, he shut his eyes and groaned.

She grazed a finger ever so lightly down his erect cock and it jumped in her hands. She jumped herself and then curious with the precum oozing, she slid her finger around the top and then down.

“Keep touching me, Buffy,” he whispered, encouragingly.

Feeling bolder, she wrapped her fist around him and started a sliding up and down motion. “Like this?” she asked.

”Yes,” he said, his voice strained. “Do you want to try putting it in your mouth?”

“No!” she said adamantly and released him.

His eyes popped open and he looked at her apologetically. “I’m sorry. I was pushing. That just felt so good.” And he rolled back onto her.

“But I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Buffy, whatever you do to me; however you touch me, is perfect. You know why?”

“No, why?”

“Because it’s you.”

He couldn’t quite place the emotion in her eyes at that statement, but he could see that she liked it by the way she leaned up to kiss him, winding her arms around him tighter.

“I need a condom,” he whispered, loathe to leave her warmth for even a second.

“I’m on the pill.”

“Then I don’t need a condom?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I don’t think you have any diseases, do you?”

“Clean as a whistle,” he murmured and smothered her in a kiss. “Buffy, I’m going to put my finger inside you.”

“Why?”

“To kind of let you feel what it’ll feel like when I put my cock inside you.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like that word.”

He grinned, “What would you prefer?”

“Can I name it?”

He stared at her, “You want to name my penis?”

“Spike. I’m going to name him Spike.”

He laughed, “Okay, luv. If you want to name him that...but won’t that frighten you more when I put him inside you?”

She furrowed her brow thoughtfully, “Strangely, no.”

Teasing her folds with his finger, he slid his finger up and down her slit, flicking her clit. Her eyes glazed over as she looked up at him. “Oh God.”

Smiling, he continued his ministrations and then slid his finger inside, and not very far, little by little, gathering her cream to help him along.

Her eyes went wide and she stayed intent on him. Pulling out, he circled around her clit and rubbed.

“William,” she gasped and shuddered.

“Did my girl cum for me?”

She nodded, burying her face in his shoulder.

“Buffy, I want to see you when I—Spike—enters you.”

She rested her head back, looking up at him with big, trusting eyes. Grasping his cock, or Spike as Buffy named it, William slid him up and down her slit, gathering her juices. Instinctively, her legs spread more and her hips shifted just a bit to accommodate his inevitable entrance.

Slowly, William thrust forward, easing his cock inside her. She was so tight! She felt like heaven and he could not wait to be buried inside her completely.

Buffy, for her part, felt herself being...full up. She felt, well, stuffed. She felt as though something that was quite large was going some place it shouldn’t. She wanted to tell him to stop, but at the same time, she wanted him to continue.

Best to just get it over with, and so far, William had made everything wonderful for her, so this was sure to be wonderful too. She felt so full of him, surrounding every part of her, and she never knew something like that could feel so good and so not scary.

He pulled out a bit and then eased more in and she moved her hips to help him along, wanting him inside her. Her eyes widened when she felt herself give way even more. It felt like a hard pinch and she winced.

“Buffy, luv, you all right?” he asked, stopping his movements altogether.

“Yeah, I think you broke my hymen.”

He smiled, “Quite a scientific of you, pet.”

“Well...” she shrugged and urged him in more. “I...I think I am liking it. Are you?”

He groaned and pulled out a bit before thrusting back in. “I’m loving it. You feel so good. So wet, hot and tight,” and he dropped his head into the crook of her neck, nibbling at her neck. “Buffy,” he moaned as he moved a bit faster, “God, you feel so good.”

“You feel good,” she whispered. “What do I do?”

“Thrust back at me... yeah, that’s it . . .”

“Talk to me,” she breathed in his ear.

“My girl is all hot and wet for me, aren’t you?”

She nodded, her breath hitching when he angled his thrust to hit her clit on the down stroke.

“Like to feel me inside you, my hard cock deep inside you…” he said huskily, moving faster.

“Yes,” she hissed, not even caring that he used the word ‘cock’. Just as long as he kept doing what he was doing.

“Gonna make you cum so hard, Buffy. Want to feel you cum all around my cock, strangling me, making me cum hard inside you. Want to feel how wet you get when you cum, want to feel it sliding down my hard cock…”

“William,” she whimpered.

“That’s my girl. Fuck me back, Buffy. Fuck me back…just like that…” sliding a hand between them, he started to rub her clit, watching as her eyes widened and then her head rolled to the side.

“Look at me, watch me make you cum,” he demanded.

Her eyes flew to him and he started pounding inside her, not able to hold back any longer. God, she felt like heaven.

“Cum for me, Buffy. Cum all over my cock…” he said, panting.

“Yes…yes…”she moaned and then buried her face in his neck, “William!” she shouted as her internal muscles fluttered all around him, letting him know she had indeed cum.

He could feel her wetness all around him, just as promised, and that was all it took to send him over the edge. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cum so hard. Collapsing against her, he left soft kisses on her shoulder and collarbone, feeling her heart race against his chest.

“Am I crushing you?” he murmured.

“No,” she murmured back and twined her legs about him.

“Did I hurt you, luv?”

“No, William, you didn’t hurt me.”

“Do you feel all right?”

“No, I don’t feel all right.”

His head jerked up and he studied her, concerned.

She smiled brilliantly. “I feel wonderful. . . Can we do it again?”

Apparently he’d created a monster, William thought as he looked down at his beloved, smiling so happily up at him. Her skin was flushed and warm, her hair mussed and her lips swollen from his kisses. She looked well loved, and knowing that it was him that loved her so thoroughly, and put that smile on her face – knowing it was he who was her first (and last), filled him with pride that went beyond the typical manly pride.

Buffy Summers, locked up tight Buffy Summers, chose him to release her from the solace she’d self imposed. She wanted him. She made love with him. That had to account for something, right?

He did want her again, that was for sure.

Her eyebrows knit. “I’m actually kind of hungry.”

He blinked, “You’re hungry?”

“I am. Oooh, and you know what I want to do?”

“What?”

“I want to eat outside. Naked.”

He stared at her, mouth open. “Who are you, and what have you done with Buffy?”

She giggled and pushed at him to let her up. It was with great reluctance that he did so. Hell, he was curious, he wanted to see if she’d actually do it.

Standing up, she stretched like a cat and started for the door. She looked over her shoulder, “You coming?”

What could he do but follow her like her willing slave? He was finding her absolutely mesmerizing at the moment. This softer, looser, version of her was driving him wild. He reached for her, bringing her up against his body, he growled into her neck and nipped at it with his teeth. Buffy squealed and giggled with delight, and he turned her so that he could push her against the wall.

“Want to try it against the wall?” he asked huskily.

Her eyes widened. “That’s possible?”

He grinned and nipped at her lips. “Anything’s possible baby,” he told her and slid a hand under one knee, opening her up to him. Bending at the knees just a bit, he lifted up and slid his shaft against her opening. Her eyes shut and her head fell back onto the wall with a thud.

“Ready for me, luv?”

She nodded emphatically, and grasping ‘Spike’, he eased himself in, lifting her a bit to help him along. “Wrap your arms and legs around me, Buffy.”

She did so compliantly and her eyes widened as she looked down at him. “Oh…wow.”

“What is it? Tell me,” he said huskily, guiding her movements up and down his shaft.

“It just feels different. You feel…bigger somehow.”

“Saying I was small before, woman?” he asked in mock offense.

She laughed, “No! I’m just saying that…it just feels different this way.”

“Different positions feel differently.”

She grinned and then moaned. “Makes sense.”

“You like it this way?”

“Yes,” she hissed.

“This way its even easier for me to do this...” and he slithered a hand between them, flicking her hardened and sensitized pearl.

She gasped and her head fell forward into his neck. “William,” she whimpered.

He groaned against her shoulder. “God, you make me want to cum just from hearing you say my name like that,” he told her, thrusting harder.

“William, William, William,” she repeated and started to move her body on her own. “Oh, William . . . Ahhh . . . I think I want to get that sex book.”

“Oh?”

“I want to try every position in there. Can we?”

He looked up at her, “Oh, I do love you woman,” he declared. The words flew out of this mouth, unbidden. He nearly froze, but she wouldn’t let him. Instead, she continued riding him as he stood and she smiled brilliantly once again.

Odd, that.

“Dru said that once I had sex, I would make some man very happy,” she told him.

Ah, so she had chalked it up to a comment any man would make to a woman feeling adventurous with sex. And he wasn’t going to be ‘some man’. He was her William, and she was his. The idea of someone else touching her, experimenting with her, made something in him snap and he pressed her harder against the wall, pounding into her.

“Not some man, Buffy,” he growled. “Me.”

“Oh…oh…” she whispered, her eyes rolling back.

Rubbing harder on her clit, he demanded that she cum again. “Only me, Buffy. Say it,” he demanded.

“Yes, yes.”

“Say it!”

“Only you!” and she screamed his name.

Hearing her say the words sent him over the edge and he came with a vengeance inside her. Dropping his head into her shoulder, he panted, feeling her sweat-slicked skin against his, and listening to her own erratic breath. He pulled back and claimed her mouth in a searing kiss. “What you do to me,” he whispered.

She smiled, almost sleepily. “What you’ve done to me.”

He smiled smugly, “I’ve created a monster eh?”

She nodded, “Yep. Like it?”

“Love it,” he whispered and kissed her before she could think or react.

********

She tore into a drumstick with fervor and William had to chuckle. Suddenly, it seemed she had an appetite for everything. Not that he was complaining. He knew once unleashed, Buffy would be a force to be reckoned with.

She reminded him, at this moment, of the movie Witches of Eastwick. In the beginning of the movie the three women who later took up with Jack Nicholson, were all locked up, repressed individuals that always tried to fade into the background. Later, when they took up with the devil, they were free and happy. They let their inner beauty shine through, becoming for the first time confident in themselves. That was Buffy at that moment. She sat, on his porch, naked as the day she was born, letting the moonlight bathe her luscious body and she happily devoured the cold drumstick as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

Stabbing the cold pasta salad in front of him, he watched her for a while. “You feel good about everything then, pet?”

She nodded, “I do—“ she put the stick down. “Do you? Was I all right? Did I do all right?”

That fear and lack of trust in herself was back.

“Pet, you took me to heaven and back,” he told her earnestly, cupping the side of her face. “But it was your first time. I want to make sure you enjoyed all that we did. The important thing to do with your lover is to make sure you communicate your needs so that you’re always satisfied.”

“So far, I’m good.”

“Me too. You cold?” he asked, watching her shiver a bit.

She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe a bit.”

“Want the blanket now?”

She nodded as he reached behind him to grab it. Smiling mischievously, he laid it out next to him on the porch.

“What are you doing?” she asked him.

Grinning, he shoved the cartons of food aside and grabbed her, bringing her down on the blanket. Hovering above her, he smiled wide. “Sex on the porch of course.”

Smiling eagerly, she wrapped her body around him and soon, she forgot all about being cold.

Buffy smiled up at William sleepily, and shifted a bit on the blanket. Smiling down at her tenderly, he leaned in and brushed a soft kiss on her lips.

“How you doin’ pet?”

“I think I’m tired now, William,” she said and promptly yawned.

He nodded, “Yep, I’d say you were. Come on, luv, let’s go to bed.” Standing, he helped her stand, noticing the perplexed look on her face. “What is it?”

“You want me to stay?”

He gaped at her. “Of course I want you to stay, why wouldn’t I want you to stay?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I just thought you’d want me to go—“

“No, Buffy, no,” he assured her, kissing her gently. “I don’t want you to go back. I want you to stay here with me in my bed.”

She nodded, seeming a tad uncertain. Now that was odd. She just had sex with him three times, but the concept of actually sleeping in his bed gave her pause. “What?” he asked. “Why do you look suddenly so skittish about that idea?”

“I don’t know...another first, I guess. Another thing I’ve never done.”

“Buffy, we just had sex three times and the idea of sleeping in my bed makes you uneasy?”

“I know, but...I know it doesn’t make sense. I guess it just seems almost more...intimate.”

His eyes bugged out of his skull. “More intimate than me being inside you?”

She laughed nervously. “Yes! People have sex all the time without any real intimacy. Not that I would know entirely, but I know Dru used to have a string of men but none of them stayed over all the time. They didn’t even really talk about stuff, they just had sex. But sleeping, actually sleeping, it just seems more...intimate. It’s saying ‘come join me in my personal space that is my bed and bedroom. Come see me when I just wake up in the morning and have morning breath and bed head.’”

“I’ve seen you in the morning remember? You always stayed here for a few days once-“

“But I had my own room. I wasn’t in your room. I’m not making sense, am I?”

“In a way I see what you’re saying, but…”

“You still think I’m nuts.”

“Kind of, yeah.”

She smiled. “I have an easy way to remedy that.”

“What’s that?”

Wrapping her arms around him, she purred, “Take me to bed, William.”

********

She yawned as soon as her head hit the pillow, and she burrowed under the covers, making all kinds of kittenish sounds in the back of her throat he was sure she wasn’t aware she was making.

How adorable was she?

Settling in next to her, he cuddled right up, gathering her in his arms and pecking her nose. “Comfortable?”

She nodded and looked up at him sleepily. “William?”

“Yes, my love?”

“What happens tomorrow?”

He smiled tenderly and ran a hand through her long locks. “Tomorrow when we wake up, I make love to you. Then, we have breakfast, and I make love to you again. Then we shower, and I make love to you again –“

Giggling, she stopped him by putting her hand over his mouth. She turned serious in an instant. “I’m afraid,” she told him honestly, taking her hand from his mouth.

“Of what, sweetheart?” he asked soothingly.

Her brows furrowed, creating a crease between her brows. “That’s the thing. I don’t know. I just know that I’m afraid.”

“You don’t have anything to be afraid of, Buffy,” he assured her, holding her tight. “Nothing to be afraid of at all. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

She burrowed into him, resting her head under his chin. She kissed his chest and sighed. “Night.”

“Night.”

He held her for a long time after, he too afraid. He wasn’t about to tell her that though. He was afraid that by going to sleep, the magical web they’d woven around themselves would dissolve, and that in the morning, she’d close herself off once more.

********

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open, the sun shining through the curtains in William’s room, dispelling the darkness and the magic from the night before.

Or did it?

She turned toward William, watching him as he slept. She smiled at how adorable he looked, how much like a little boy with a little pout forming on his sensual lips. Then, she promptly blushed at the remembrance of all that little boy had done to her last night. Oh God, he brought her to life. That’s what it felt like anyway. And with each touch, whisper, kiss and caress he bestowed upon her, she felt something in her shift and grow.

It frightened her for she didn’t understand it completely, only knew that she felt a desperate urgency for him again and again until she could feel and think no longer.

Reaching out she touched his face, smoothing her hand down the side, feeling his cheekbones. His eyes opened and met hers. He smiled and she continued drawing her hand down, down his neck across his collarbone and shoulder.

The Joy of the Flesh, she thought and continued her path down his chest.

He moved slightly on his back to give her access and she glided her hand across one nipple, smiling in pride when he drew a breath, and then across the other nipple and down further still to his stomach.

She stopped and looked at him. He was waiting for her, patiently, to make a move, she could tell by the question and encouragement in his eyes.

Smiling impishly, she slid her hand down, moving the covers and exposing Spike. He was weeping pre-cum, she could see the pearl on the head of his shaft. Curious, she arranged herself on her side so that she was close to him. She hadn’t felt brave last night, but now, at this moment, she did. She wanted to taste the essence of this man, and as her thoughts began to invade her mind, pressing on a reason for that, she licked him and heard him groan in the distance. Salt, that’s what he tasted like. Encouraged, she licked his shaft up in one stroke and she felt his fingers in her hair.

“Buffy,” he murmured.

Licking her lips, she stroked his shaft with her hand while she contemplated actually sticking the whole thing in her mouth. Biting her bottom lip, she figured, why the hell not? And went for it, taking him in her mouth in one big gulp. His hips rose from the bed and a strangled cry sounded through his room.

It was a different texture, not one she was used to having in her mouth, and it certainly split her mouth wider, but she didn’t mind. She’d heard of deep- throating from Dru, who she swore only yammered on and on about sex to see how far she could go before Buffy would yell at her to stop. And now she wanted to see if she could do it.

The Joy of Sex, she thought and took him in as far as she could before gagging and swallowed.

“Fuck!”

The next thing she knew, she was being hauled up and placed so that she was straddling him. He looked up at her, panting, with lust – addled eyes. He gripped her hips and lifted her slightly, rubbing his shaft against her pussy.

“Inside now,” he grunted, and she smiled at how barbaric he sounded.

She looked at him for guidance, and he took the lead, lifting her up more, and she placed her hands on his chest, palms spread. When she felt Spike at her entrance, she slid down and enjoyed the look of bliss on Spike’s face, and simultaneously enjoyed the feel of him inside her once again.

Thinking back to the night before against the wall, she figured she was once again in control and lifted herself again, before sliding down. She could get used to this!

“That’s it,” he whispered, thrusting up when she slid down. “That’s my girl. Ride me Buffy, ride my co—Spike.”

She giggled and placed her hands on either side of his head, so she could move better. William took that opportunity to reach up and suckle her breasts in his mouth. She moaned as that sensation, coupled with the new angle that caused his cock to hit her clit. She was hurtling her closer and closer to orgasm.

Craving the sensation of him sliding against her clit, Buffy moved faster and William buried his face in between her breasts.

“Buffy!” he shouted and threw his head back.

So close…almost…there… – Leaning back and throwing her head back, she looked up at the ceiling and came hard, not even able to form words.

“Buffy,” he growled and grabbed her, crushing her to him and rolling them so that she was on her back. He kissed her hard and she wrapped her arms around him.

She looked up at him, grinning like a minx. “Good morning, William.”

“So, what are your plans today?” Buffy asked over breakfast, tucking in to her waffles with fervour.

William eyed her, “Aren’t we spending the day together?”

“Are we? Had we said?”

“I believe I told you last night I planned to make love to you all day.”

She smiled. “As nice as that sounds—“

He groaned, “Don’t tell me you’re blowing me off.”

“I do have to get back to the house at some point today, William.”

“At some point. That means anytime from now until dark. So, technically, you can still
spend the day with me.” He reached across the table and took a hand in his, kissing
the back of it. “And then I can go over and spend the night with you.”

“Will, you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“The ghosts? I blew them off last night – not that I regret it – but I have to get back to
them.”

“And they’ll take opposition to your having an overnight guest?”

“You don’t give up, do you?”

William smiled. “No, I don’t.” And I’m not about to, Buffy love.

“I was thinking that I wanted to shop today.”

William recoiled, wrinkling his nose. “Shop?”

She laughed, “See? I knew you wouldn’t go for that.”

“What kind of shopping?”

“For the house. I wanted to poke around and get some ideas for how I might want to
approach those empty rooms.”

“Oh, well, I can go with you.”

She stared at him. “You actually want to do that?”

“Buffy, I’m up to anything that involves you staying here.”

Buffy sighed and stood, grabbing her plate and bringing it to the sink. “William, let’s
not start with this now.”

“What do you mean let’s not start with this now?” William demanded, his temper
flaring. Her leaving was a sore spot for him, and not just because of Dru and her cryptic foreshadowing, but because he was in love with her and he’d be damned if she left him now.

She turned to him after rinsing the plate. “Will, don’t ruin the day, and the night we
just had—“

“I’m not bloody ruining anything! You’re the one avoiding the bloody topic. Buffy, did
what we share mean nothing to you last night?”

“It did mean something to me. Of course it did.”

“And now you’re up and ready to go.”

“I’m not going anywhere! I’m going shopping!”

He took a deep breath, and shut his eyes. Running a hand through his hair, he held
out a hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just...I thought after last night...Just forget it.”

She stood there, stiffly looking at him as if she didn’t know what to do or say.

Reaching out, William grabbed her and pulled her against him, burying his face in her
hair. “I’m sorry, luv. Forgive me?”

“Will, I....” she broke off and hugged him back. “Yes.”

It was the words not spoken that had William reeling. What was she going to say?
She could be so in her head at times, a feature he’d thought she’d been growing out
of, especially after the night before, but now it seemed that feature was back. He’d let
it go for now. Let it go and hope that when the time was right, she’d share with him.
Given some space, love and enough time, she’d realize she was meant to be with
him, she’d stay, and she’d tell him.

The saying about putting your eggs all in one basket kept coming back to him and he
wasn’t sure why.

********

He couldn’t help himself from dragging her into the bookstore when they were out
and about, and when she caught wind of what he planned to purchase, she turned
flaming red and tried to drag him out.

“Nope,” he told her. “You made a request last night to get that book, and we’re
getting it.”

“Will, we don’t actually have to get it.”

“I want to. I remember how hot it made you last time to look at it. I want to see you
hot again when we try those positions.”

She hid her face in his shoulder while he picked the Sex book out, and then
went outside when he went to pay for it.

So, he thought, My shy blushing virgin is back.

But, after lunch, and after visiting a few furniture shops, while they were gathering
paint samples, Buffy leaned over and whispered. “I want you,” and walked away.

That was all William needed and tossing the samples he’d grabbed in his bag, he
grabbed Buffy’s arm and hauled her out of there.

********

As soon as the door to his house was shut, they were tearing at each other’s clothes.
Buffy had one singular thought in her mind and that was ‘want, take, have.’

She’d felt some of her reservations come back that morning and through the day, felt
that perhaps she was acting too much like a wanton whore, and had tried to keep the
voices at bay that told her as such. Somehow, being alone with William and being
sexual made her feel like less of one, but being out in public and knowing what she’d
done and wanted to do, made her delicate sensibilities come back with a vengeance.

In the paint shop when they’d been grabbing samples, Buffy felt this wave of peace wash over her, this rush of emotion so deep that it shook her to the core. She’d never felt it before and not toward another human being like that. She felt the words on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t force them to come. So, instead, she said the next best thing.

She felt in him the urgency for her to say she’d stay. What it would mean however, gave her pause. He had more power over her than he realized and it was a fact that didn’t settle well with her. Losing control, losing power, was something that Buffy felt she couldn’t let go of easily, or at all really.

What if she stayed and it didn’t work out with them? Then she’d be saddled in another country and feeling, she was sure, bereft. He’d come to mean so much to her, he made her feel things – and not just sexually – that she’d never felt before. It sounded clichéd, she was sure, but it frightened her so much. She wasn’t someone that had a lot of experience in relationships, she was someone that seemed to repel the opposite sex, and couldn’t even keep friends of the same sex. How could she hope that someone as wonderful as William could really want her for the long haul? If was best for her to leave first, wasn’t it? If she could maintain that semblance of control, then maybe she could at least have her pride when this was all over.

She recalled the cold words of her mother at Dru’s funeral and all her friends had attended to say goodbye. Dru knew everyone, it seemed, and kept in touch with them all. Buffy had not a single friend or shoulder to cry on. She’d had to say goodbye to her beloved sister alone, and her mother had told her, while they stood before the casket that was being lowered into the ground, “Such a shame, Buffy. It seems no one can bear to stay with you, can they?”

Her words were cruel, she knew, but it stuck with her, despite how many times she’d tried to tell herself that it wasn’t true.

“Buffy, Buffy, why are you crying?” William asked her, pulling back and grabbing her shoulders, making her look at him.

“What?”

“Sweetheart, you’re crying,” he said and wiped a tear away, showing her.

She shook her head and lunged at him, throwing her arms around him. “I’m fine, William,” she told him, toppling him onto the floor.

“Buffy, if you’re upset then please talk to me,” he told her, trying to stop her.

“I’m not. I’m just . . . happy,” she said and smiled before peppering a trail of kisses down to Spike and taking him in her mouth.

This, having sex with William, made her feel powerful, made her feel in control, made her feel like less of a freak. She enjoyed the responses William had to her ministrations, and she basked in how he made her feel right back. She could suspend reality and shove out the idea that she was nothing but a loveless freak.

And when he rolled her over onto her back and entered her with a swift thrust, and said, halfway between a plea and demand, “Stay with me,” Buffy rolled, so that she was on top and kissed him hard. She rode him at a gallop, effectively halting that request from passing through his lips again.

Buffy loathed to go, but she knew she had to. She had ghosts to take care of. William walked her up to the door, and Buffy knew he was trying some more to pitch his case for her to let him stay the night.

The idea appealed to her, but then she didn’t know how she was going to feel after all was said and done, and part of her needed some time to catch up to all that had happened between them. She was drunk on him, and it was hard to think.

“I could draw you a bath when you’re done, light a bunch of candles and make it all relaxing like,” he told her as he held her hand up to her door.

She smiled, “Edina can do that too.”

“Edina wouldn’t take the bath with you though.”

Buffy laughed, “Oh, I should hope not!”

William pouted. “I’m going to miss my girl.”

“You’ll see me tomorrow.”

“I want you to call me when you’re done, let me know how it goes.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You know, I can think of a way you could actually say that and it’d be really sexy—“

“Good night, William,” she said and kissed him fervently before releasing him.

“That wasn’t fair, pet. You got my motor revved with that kiss and now you’re gonna go?”

She smiled and stepped inside the house. “Yep!”

He sighed, looking as if he were admitting defeat. “All right. See you tomorrow morning, first thing.”

“Yes, dear.”

He grinned, “I like that. Now, one more for the road,” he said and pointed to his lips.

Kissing him quickly, she pulled away and waited for him to start his way back to his car before shutting the door. Leaning her back against the door, she smiled happily.

Edina came a second later, bustling up. “Miss! I thought you were to be home last night. Is everything all right?”

Buffy straightened, “Yes,” she cleared her throat. “Everything’s good. There was a change of plans.”

Edina eyed her. “How was your date?”

Buffy beamed, “It was wonderful.” She shook her head, “Sorry. I don’t want get all mushy and carried away here.” She thrust a plastic bag of paint and carpet samples at Edina. “We went shopping today. Want to take a look at these with me tomorrow in the rooms?”

Edina primly took the bag and did not bother to look inside. She smiled tightly. “Of course.”

Opting to ignore the behaviour, and hoping that the woman will grow into the idea of changing the house, Buffy informed her she would be taking a bath and then she was not to be disturbed.

“Of course,” Edina nodded and bustled off.

********

Feeling refreshed, cleansed and relaxed, Buffy strolled to the ballroom, feeling in no great rush to get there. Truth was, she wanted to see if maybe she could sense them anywhere else because again, she had not felt a thing.

It was rather disappointing, she had to admit. Not because up until that point she had particularly enjoyed having them around, quite the contrary, but now that she was at least attempting to make a civilized connection, she felt she was perhaps getting cheated.

What would have made them go? Her blatant refusal to speak with them for so long? Maybe they’d decided they weren’t going to wait around for her and decided to find more, ahem, pleasant accommodations. Not that she knew of many that had the same ability she had, however, what someone didn’t know, they wouldn’t fight or banish.

Tara had said that ghosts could be like children when they weren’t being paid attention to. So, maybe they’d taken a tantrum and decided to just play with her. Or, perhaps they knew what she was up to and decided to hide and scare her with theatrics to pay her back for ignoring them and being so rude to them.

As much as the prospect frightened her, the whole concept of connecting to them, she felt it was something she had to do; for herself, and for her life. She’d been running from it for what felt like forever, and now that she had the gumption to actually try, not to mention the resources, she might as well take advantage of it. She couldn’t forever be driven away by her “gift”.

Finally making it to the ballroom, she opened the door slowly and as quietly as she could. It was dark inside and hurriedly she flicked on the light, flooding the room with a harsh light that had Buffy squinting.

Taking the matches she’d found in her room from the pocket of her pink pyjama bottoms, she heaved a deep breath, and struck one. Placing it against the wick of the vanilla candle she’d selected, she said aloud, “Hi, I’m here. I’m here to talk with you in this room. This will be a safe place for us to talk. Please do not scare me and please understand that it might take me some time to get used to this.”

Rushing to shut the light off, Buffy sat next to the table with the candle in the chair she’d designated for herself and looked at the chair across from her.

Silence.

She shivered slightly. “I know you’re probably upset with me for avoiding you all for so long. I apologize for my rudeness and neglect. Unlike my sister, I don’t take to these things well. I spoke to a witch...I told her I wanted to try and communicate with you, work with you so we can all live her harmoniously, and she gave me this idea. I...Please come and talk to me. I promise I am not going to banish you from the house.”

More silence, and still she felt nothing.

“My name is Buffy. Like I said, my sister Dru lived here for quite a while. I know there’s probably been a lot of traffic coming through here and I assure you, there won’t be with me. I—“

The candle went out. Buffy held her breath, feeling cold drape over her like a bucket of water. She surely felt something now! With trembling fingers she reached for her matches and lit the candle again. Promptly it went out. Again, she lit it, and again it went out.

Okay, now that was just getting annoying. Growling slightly, she put the candle in her lap and lit it. This time the candle stayed lit, but a crash to the floor had her jumping out of her chair, sending the candle to the floor and wax spilling out. Thankfully, the candle went out. Running to the light she flicked it on.

The ceramic star plate the candle had been resting on had smashed to the floor.

Heart thumping, Buffy stared at the mess.

“Miss? Miss Buffy? I know you said you weren’t to be bothered, but I heard a crash. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Edina, you can come in.”

The door swung open and in bustled Edina. “Heavens what happened? Oh no, the floor!” She rushed forward, picking up the candle, and picked at the wax. “I’ll get the cleaning supplies.”

”I’ll help you,” Buffy offered.

“No, I can’t get it. Why don’t you go rest, Miss? You look as though you’ve had quite a fright.”

Buffy swallowed and nodded, and headed back to her room.

Sitting down on the bed, Buffy tried to make sense of what had just happened. How was it that she had not felt them for the past two days, and those theatrics happened?

Lying down, contemplating the actions they’d chosen to take despite her best efforts, Buffy began to drift off to sleep.

Her last thought was how Edina had been more concerned about the floor than her. She certainly made the house her life.

********

“Buffy, my love...” William purred, crawling onto her bed and stretching out next to her. He kissed her lips softly. “Buffy...” he sing-songed. “Wake up, kitten...”

He smiled when she moaned and turned away. Not to be put off, William crawled to the other side and stretched out again, this time he took a chunk of her hair and tickled her nose with the ends. Wrinkling her nose in the most adorable way, Buffy swatted at the hair and him. William started to laugh, not able to keep it in any longer.

Buffy’s eyes flew open and she stared at William. “Will?”

“Yes?”

“What – where –“ she looked around her. “What time is it?” she asked groggily, rolling onto her back and stretching her arms above her head.

William pounced on her, bracing himself on his hands, hovering above her. He grinned saucily. “It’s time for your morning wake up.”

Pouting slightly and moaning a bit, she wrapped her arms around him and brought him close. “Hi,” she murmured.

“You didn’t call me last night, luv,” he said gently, nuzzling her neck. “And then you never answered the phone when I called.”

“I didn’t even hear it ring. Did you call the main house?”

“I sure did.”

She pushed at him, “That’s odd. It would have rang in here.”

He rolled to the side and watched her climb out of bed and go to the phone on her nightstand. She picked it up and frowned, and then placing the receiver back, she followed the wire to the wall.

“It was out of the jack!” she declared, holding up the wire. “That doesn’t make any sense. How did that happen? It’s behind the nightstand. Someone would have had to move it to get the wire out of the jack.”

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Now would be a good time for you to tell me about the ghosts last night.”

“What?” Buffy said, confused, holding the wire in her hand.

“The ghosts? Did something happen with them?”

“Well…”

“What happened? Are you all right?” William asked, getting up from the bed and tugging her to him. “Come here.”

She allowed him to pull her on his lap. She looked at him strangely. “This is weird.”

“What is?” he asked innocently.

“Sitting on your lap.”

“Too little girl for you?”

She laughed, “Exactly,” and she slid to the bed.

“So tell me,” he said and brushed some hair from her shoulder. “What happened? That ‘Well’ didn’t sound so good.”

She took a deep breath and started her story. She had thought about not telling him, but what would be the point in that? Well, aside from not worrying him, but she also knew he’d just badger her until she told him, so it was best to just do it and get it over with.

“I should have been there,” he told her firmly.

“What could you have done?”

“Helped you, protected you,” he told her as if she should have known the answer already.

“William,” she said, getting up from the bed and out of reach from him, “You couldn’t have done anything. What could you have done to protect me? Help me? Nothing. It’s not like you telling them to stop would have made them stop. Believe it or not, there are some things you cannot control, and ghosts would be one of them.”

“What if you got hurt?” he demanded.

She threw up her hands, “Then I would have gotten hurt! I don’t think they wanted to hurt me, I really think they were just getting back at me for ignoring them.”

“I won’t say it, but you know I’m thinking it.”

She gave him a dirty look, “Thanks. At any rate, I’m trying again tonight.”

“I’ll be there this time—“

“No, you won’t.”

“Buffy,” he said on a sigh and she felt as though he were now patronizing her.

“Don’t ‘Buffy’ me like that,” she snapped. “I’m not a child, William. I took care of myself before you came along and I still plan on taking care of myself. I’m not going to be coddled and treated like some incapable woman. If you’re looking to do that, then you’ve got the wrong woman. I will try again tonight, and it will just be me. Alone. They’re my ghosts, and my problem to handle, not yours or anyone else’s. Your presence could just aggravate them for all I know.”

“Okay, part of me is insulted that you thought I was patronizing you –“

“Well, that’s how it felt!”

“And part of me is really turned on by the way you were just so firm and took control like that.”

She looked at him as if he’d gone mad. “What?”

He stood and slowly made his way over to her, leering at her suggestively. “Buffy, you’ve never taken control like that. Not in the time I’ve known you anyway. You haven’t sounded that determined about them, and handling them as you do now. You wished for them to just go away before, and now you want to work with them. Buffy, I do not doubt your capabilities to ‘take care’ of yourself. I only wish to take care of you as well. Think of it as, I scratch your back, you scratch mine.”

“When it comes to my ghosts, I scratch my own back.”

He held up a hand in surrender, “Understood…Now come here,” and he pulled her to him, kissing her sensually and sliding his inside her tank top at the waist. “I want you,” he whispered.

She kissed him back, meeting the passion he felt with her own, and soon, they toppled into the bed together as one beast.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” he said huskily, yanking her tank over her head, and flinging it across the room. “Take control of me; tell me what to do to you.”

“Take your shirt off,” she breathed, “I want to feel your skin on mine.”

He did as she requested, kneeling briefly to whip it off his person and send it sailing through the air to meet her tank. “More,” he whispered when he came back down to her.

“I…” she bit her lip.

“Tell me Buffy. Take control.” He rubbed himself against her, needing the feel of her body against his; his body craving the friction and her warmth.

“Suck on my nipples,” she blurted out in a demand, and he obliged happily.

Suckling one breast in his mouth while palming the other, he moaned. Her fingers in his hair completed the sensation of tasting her skin for him, and he attacked the other breast with gusto. “Honey and sugar,” he moaned into her breast, “That’s what my girl tastes like. God, I want to lick and suck every part of you.”

“Will,” she whimpered, gyrating on the bed to get more friction herself.

“Tell me more,” he demanded.

“Go down on me,” she whispered in a rush.

Groaning at those words coming from her mouth, and his mouth watering at the idea, William all but tore her pajama bottoms off along with her panties. “I have one request,” he told her, giving her slit one long lick.

“What?” she asked breathlessly.

“I want you to watch me pleasure you.”

She froze. “What?”

“Watch me.”

Slowly, she propped herself up on her elbows and met his eyes uncertainly. He smiled at her and went to work.

Buffy had to keep herself from tossing her head back and shutting her eyes. God, he was good at that. His tongue inside her, on her clit, all around her labia, it was as if his tongue had ADD and it worked, it all worked. He brought her to the edge and then drew back until she reaching out to claw at him and urge him to bring her there. Her limbs were shaking with need and the whimpers and moans escaping her didn’t sound like her…but she was strangely all right with it. She very much felt that at that moment, she was not the one in control, but rather he was.

“Will, please,” she demanded and moved her hips over and over to get more of his probing tongue.

“My baby want to cum?”

“Yes,” she hissed, “Please, let me cum, William. I need to cum…”

“How bad?”

“Argh! William make me cum now!”

And he did. Sucking her clit in his mouth and easing a finger inside her, she came hard, this time her eyes did shut and her head flung back, screaming her release.

He was there in an instant, while she was still spasming, and sunk Spike inside her. Where his pants went, and how fast they came off, she did not know. She screamed again as the feel of him inside her sent her to another orgasm. William spread her legs wider, angling deeper inside of her, and he rubbed her clit.

“William, I can’t do it again,” she whimpered, her head thrashing.

“Oh yes you can, and you will, Buffy.”

“William,” she murmured and leaned up, kissing him hard on the mouth, tasting herself there.

“Fuck me back, Buffy, fuck me back with all you’ve got,” he ordered and she at first awkwardly, and then masterfully, met him thrust for thrust.

He was rock hard and deep inside her, thrusting fast and hard so that their skin slapped together each time their bodies met. She was perilously close to the edge.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum,” he shouted, shutting his eyes briefly.

That wantonness came back inside her with a vengeance upon seeing him start to unravel, and she looked up at him through lidded eyes and demanded: “Cum William, cum inside me. I want to fell you cumming hard inside me.”

That was all it took and with a roar, William came inside her. A second later, she joined him as his rubbing of her clit never decreased, and the sight of him coming apart sent her to another screaming orgasm.

He collapsed on top of her, their skin damp with sweat, and their hearts racing together. He kissed her languidly and then buried his face in her neck. “God, Buffy…I –“

“Wow,” she breathed, cutting him off. “Is it always like that?”

Raising himself, he looked at her with so much emotion swimming in his eyes and on his face, that her breath caught and her heart felt as though it stopped.

“It’ll always be like that with us, Buffy. Each time will just get better and better. All the times we’ve been together, you’ve shook me to the core. I reach heaven with you, baby.”

His words made her tremble and she kissed him to stop talking, trying to keep the tears at bay.


**I think I made myself hot with this one lol**

“Sex makes me hungry,” Buffy told William as she devoured her pancakes bacon and eggs, all of which were saturated in maple syrup.

William laughed, “Yes it can work up an appetite.”

“Edina didn’t have a fit when you came in this morning?”

“Well, she didn’t look entirely pleased, but I don’t really care.”

Buffy grinned, “Maybe she feels she holds the key to my chastity belt.”

“Yeah, I broke the lock, thank you very much.”

Buffy snorted, “And you’re ever so proud of that, aren’t you?”

“Damn straight.”

“I don’t know how much fun you’ll have with what I planned today,” she informed him.

“What did you plan?”

“I wanted to start going through the rooms and putting up some paint and carpet samples. I want to really look at those rooms and get an idea of what I want to do with them.”

He shrugged, “I’ll stay.”

She looked at him as if he were crazy. “How can you want to stay and do that?”

“I went shopping with you didn’t I?”

“You’re…what’s the word you say – You’re a nutter, William.”

He chuckled, “Thanks luv.”

“I want to ask Edina to join me – us,” she warned him. “I want her to feel involved.”

“Buffy, while I somewhat I understand your need to make her happy, at the same time, I stand by the fact that this is your house. It was left to you, not Edina.”

“William, this is her home more than it is mine. I don’t want her to feel as though she’s getting shoved out—“

“Buffy, as long as you don’t plan to fire her, she’s not getting shoved out. You’re making changes to a home to make it livable for you. If you should choose to make it a B&B, then it is still your home in which to make that decision, and you told me you’d still keep her on. She has more control of this home right now than you do—“

“She does not, William,” she snapped and stood, snatching her plate from the table and nearly throwing it in the sink.

“Yes, she does! You have not claimed ownership to this place or even attempted to make this place your home. Now that you are starting to, you want to make sure it’s livable for Edina more than yourself, you’re more concerned about how she feels than how you feel and you’re the one that owns it!”

“I didn’t sign the damn papers yet, did I?”

William jumped up, his temper flaring. “Well maybe you bloody should! Maybe you’d stop feeling as though you were just a guest here. Jesus Christ Buffy, where do you feel at home?”

“Why are you getting so upset with me on this?”

“Because you’re being so goddamned stubborn and difficult. You know, when I first met you, I thought that you didn’t care what other people thought of you. I thought you only lived to please and protect yourself. As it turns out, you do care what other people think of you and you go out of your way to please them – and unnecessarily!”

“So anytime I’ve tried to please you, it was unnecessary?”

He pointed at her, “Don’t turn this on me. I did not say that so do not put words in my mouth. . . . However, if you want to go there, then yes, you have tried unnecessarily to please me. You were so skittish about staying with me -- being all polite and not wanting to touch or do anything or get anything because you were so afraid to impose on me.“

“So what? My being polite is now somehow rude?”

“Yes! When I tell you to make yourself at home, I bloody mean it! And Christ, this is your fucking home, Buffy. You do what you want to it and blast Edina for what she wants and thinks.”

“I don’t think of this place as my home!”

“Not yet, you don’t, but you will. You start fixing this place up; you’re going to think of it as your home. You make it into what Edina wants, then no, it won’t be your home – it’ll be hers. Fuck it all if that isn’t what she wants too.”

“I am done with this conversation,” Buffy said angrily and started to leave the kitchen.

William grabbed her, halting her.

“Let me go, William!”

“Just listen to me,” he said, calmer, the timbre of his voice deep.

She looked at him, waiting impatiently.

“You’ve made some steps here to make your staying here a little easier – with the trying to communicate with the ghosts and with wanting to fix the place up. I’m proud of you—“

“I don’t care if you’re proud of me for that William. I don’t do any of that to make you proud.”

He sighed, his jaw clenching. “I know that. I’m just saying that you’re trying, but it’s like you still have one foot out the door by giving undue power to Edina or talking of not being here, and not signing the papers. You make a plan and then you put in some disclaimer somewhere on how you might not be here so it won’t really matter what you do. It does matter and maybe if you started putting your all into it, you wouldn’t have that one foot out the damn door. Your giving Edina power here is giving you an excuse to not stay, Buffy. You giving the ghosts power was an excuse for you to not stay. What is scaring you so much about staying?”

“Just leave it alone, William. Stop telling me what to do, stop telling me how you’re proud of me or upset with me or worried about me. God! Just let me be.”

“I don’t want to leave you be! I want you to stay here and be with me Buffy – why can’t you see that?”

“Just stop it William, please!”

He held up his hand. “Fine. I’m stopping.”

“I think you should go,” she told him softly.

“Buffy—“

“Please.”

He sighed heavily. “Okay, okay. I’ll go. Will you at least call me later after you try again with the ghosts?”

“Yes.”

“Promise me?”

She gave him a warning look and he stopped. “Right. Okay…will I see you tomorrow?”

“Possibly. Maybe. We’ll see.”

“Buffy, please don’t shut me out. Not now.”

“I will see you later, William,” she said firmly.

With a shake of his head, he walked away from her.

As it will be one day I’m sure, she thought. She had to wonder at that point: Was it her making things so difficult so that he would walk away, or was it him pushing her for something she sure she could ever have, that is, a normal relationship?

********

“So, I’m about to start looking over the rooms and seeing what can be done about them. Do you want to join me?” Buffy asked Edina, catching up to her en route to her bed chamber.

Edina blinked and shook her head slowly. “I think I’ll pass on that.”

“Why? I want to include you—“

“I do not need to be included, Miss. Forgive me, but I do not wish to be. This is your home, not mine.”

“Edina, you live here too—“

“It is unbefitting of the maid to make such decision. That is up to the Master and Mistress of the home. You, mi’lady, are the Mistress.” She bustled away from her quickly and Buffy stood there, feeling defeated.

“Who else can I piss off today?” she muttered to herself and went to collect her samples.

********

Later that night, Buffy wearily collected with her a lamp she snagged from one of the rooms. She’s had a productive day going round the place, gaining visuals in her mind and taking notes on what she envisioned for each of the rooms she’d visited. She set up the samples based on what she had in her mind, and felt a sense of satisfaction with herself. She felt a sense of accomplishment, and she had to admit – she was excited to see her visions come to life. The place really would make a killer Bed and Breakfast, and in the back of her mind, in a few of the rooms, she placed a bed in them. Her ideas were indeed taking flight.

It was with a sense of extreme reluctance that she made her way back down to the ballroom. She was not looking forward to any repeats from the night before. This time, though, she had the lamp with her. She did not want the intense brightness of the ceiling lights in the room, nor did she want the dimness of a singular candle. Some light, like that from a lamp, would give her some sense of security. She also took with her an afghan that had been lying in chair in one of the rooms.

Padding into the ballroom, she flicked the light on and set about setting up her lamp near her chair. Then she flicked it off and sat in her chair.

Sitting, she said, “I’m here, again. I wish to speak with one of you at least. I know that you’re probably upset with me for ignoring you for so long, and perhaps you’re making this difficult on me because of that. Perhaps last nights theatrics were your way of getting back at me, or your way of playing tricks on me. Well, I’d like to do this seriously now, so please, talk to me.”

She was met with deafening silence. She did not speak again for a long time, but rather sat there with her eyes closed, trying to send her feelers out to sense something, anything. And when she finally did, her eyes flew open. Letting out a deep breath, she saw her breath in front her and shivered, pulling the afghan closer about her.

“Hello?” she said softly.

The chair before her moved back slightly.

“Please—“

It moved again.

“Can you just talk—“

And this time the chair flew until it hit the wall and then toppled to the side. That was enough for Buffy, blowing out the candle, she got up and fled the room, feeling a creeping sense of foreboding wash over her and chill her to the bone. It was not until she had fled the room that she felt safe.

“Miss?”

She looked to see Edina coming toward her.

“I heard something again. Everything all right?”

“Yes, I …was done.”

Edina peered into the room. “You left a lamp on.” And she went inside to shut it off. Buffy watched her to do so and when Edina came out she questioned her.

“Did you feel anything?”

Edina blinked, “Like what?”

“Cold?”

The maid gave her a funny look. “No miss. I felt the ballroom.”

Now she was making fun of her. Great.

“Things not go well?” Edina asked.

“No, things went fine,” Buffy said, annoyed.

“All right then. Good night.”

“Night.”

Buffy stood there, staring inside the dark and empty ballroom for a long time, feeling something quite like determination and anger rising up inside her.

They were not going to get the best of her.

Heading back to her bedroom, thinking she should get in touch with Tara the following day, Buffy’s thoughts were disrupted by Edina calling for her. Rushing back to the stairs, thinking something had happened, she was surprised to find William, a wet William, standing at the bottom.

“Hey, pet,” he greeted her cautiously; as if he were unsure he should be there.

It was in fact strange, and yet she was finding, not completely out of character for him. He wasn’t one to let something go easily, or to give one space. Pursing her lips together, she crossed her arms across her chest and looked at him expectantly.

“Can I come up, or do you want me to just stay here and drip all over the floor?”

“What’s the difference? You’ll drip up here too.”

“Well…I don’t have to drip up there,” he said lightly and of course suggestively.

She shook her head at him, “You’re incorrigible.” She started to walk away, “Come on up,” she said over her shoulder as she headed for her room. She smiled when she heard him running up the stairs. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him jogging towards her, trying to catch up, and she started to run herself.

“Hey!” he shouted after her.

Laughing to herself, she kept going, right past her room and down the hall, taking a right at the end of it. It was dimly lit, and in light of what had just happened downstairs, she had to admit, kind of creepy, but she could still hear William coming after her, so she pushed the eeriness out of her mind. She turned down another hall and went up some stairs; William caught her about the waist at the top of the stairs and sent them both tumbling to the floor. She was laughing when William spun her on her back, pinning her underneath him.

“What’s that about?” he asked, smiling down at her.

She shrugged. “Felt like it.”

He kissed her then and she twined her limbs about him. “I’m still mad at you, you know,” she murmured into his mouth.

“I know you are,” he whispered huskily. “Show me how mad you are.”

Kissing him, she slid her hands under his shirt and then down his pants, inching toward Spike.

“Yes,” William hissed.

“William…”

“Hmmm?” he moaned as her hand pumped Spike.

She drew her hand away, and pushed at him. “Not here.” Jumping up, she tore back down the stairs and hall to her room. William, once again, hot on her heels. Once in her bedroom, he toppled her into the bed, growling.

Giggling, she looked up at him. “That’s what you get for being such a persistent pain in the ass.”

“Oh really?” he asked and twisted them a bit so she was nearly on top of him. With a firm hand, he smacked her ass.

She let out a yelp of surprise and her eyes widened. “William!”

He shrugged. “That was for being a pain in the ass.”

She grinned saucily. “Do it again.”

His eyes immediately darkened with unbridled lust. “You sure?”

She nodded eagerly. He smacked her again and she wriggled against him. “Is it wrong that I like that?” she asked him.

He grinned, “Not at all baby. In fact, it really turns me on that you do.”

She rolled her eyes, “What doesn’t turn you on, William?”

He chuckled, and then in an instant turned sombre. Putting, his hand under her chin, he made her look at him. “Listen to me. It’s you, Buffy. Only you. You’re the only one who does this to me. There’s no one else.”

Her heart constricting at his words, she buried her face in his neck. With everything they’d done sexually, with him being her first for it seemed almost everything that had to do with relationships, it was his words that were more intimate to her than anything else. Those were the things that shook her to the core and made her ache. Her heart bled for something she was afraid to put a name to, and her mind told her she’d never get it. And that if she did, it’d only be fleeting and quick. She would never be able to hold it, and she was the girl that felt too much about everything despite the cold exterior she showed the world. Her fear of abandonment, and her belief that she was not lovable, caused her survival instincts to kick in. She had to protect herself.

“Buffy, baby, look at me.”

He wanted this serious, she could tell, and she did not. She wanted to touch him and have him touch her. It was only then that she felt like someone else, that she felt closer to the person she wanted to be, and she believed when they were having sex that she could be that free – spirited girl that could make William yearn for her. Not the broken girl his generous heart wanted to “fix”.

She looked at him, and when he opened his mouth to speak, she smothered him in a kiss. Digging her hands under his shirt, she pulled and rolled so that she was on her back, and he was half on top of her.

He broke the kiss and looked down at her, “Buffy-“

“Can we try it doggie style?”

His eyes widened, “What?”

“I want to try it that way. Can we?”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing those words from your mouth.”

”Believe it,” she whispered and tugged off his shirt, licked a nipple and smiled when she heard him gasp. “I want you to take me, Will. Take me any way you want,” and she smiled seductively up at him.

That seemed to snap him out of his shocked stupor. He kissed her so passionately; she thought she’d sink into the center of the bed from the heat of it. A hand wormed into her pants and he rubbed her pussy through her panties.

“Oohh...” she moaned, bucking her hips up to gain more friction. “Inside, William, please.”

He obliged, moving the fabric out of the way and slipping a finger inside her folds. “Like that?” he asked gutturally.

“Yes, just like that...finger me.”

“Oh Christ,” he muttered and sunk a finger inside, rubbing her clit with his thumb. “What happened to my virginal Buffy?”

“You defiled me,” she teased and slid her hand down his pants. “I want Spike,” she murmured and circled her hand around his hardness when she found it.

“Fuck,” he muttered, shutting his eyes.

“Take me,” she whispered, gyrating her hips, causing his finger to sink deeper inside her. “Fuck me, William, please.”

Their clothes were gone in a flurry of cloth and colors and the next thing she knew, she was on her belly and William was kissing the back of her neck and running his hands down her back and over her bottom.

“Hit me,” she ordered softly.

He obliged after a pause, and she moaned. “Again.”

He did so and she bit her lip, feeling the sting and heat of his slap turned her on even more. Was she sick for enjoying this?

“You like that, don’t you?” William said hoarsely in her ear.

“Yes, William, please...”

“On your knees, my love.”

She did as he instructed, propping herself up on her hands. Looking over at him, he found her watching her hotly. She bit her lip and smiled.

“You look like a naughty school girl when you do that,” he told her, sliding Spike up and down her folds and spreading her legs wider.

“Do I? Do you like that?”

“I love it because it’s you,” he whispered and slowly eased himself inside her.

“Oh God,” Buffy gasped.

“What’s the matter, baby? Did I hurt you?”

“No . . . It just feels different.”

“How?”

“You feel bigger inside me. It’s more intense.”

“Do you like it?” he asked and pulled back before sliding slowly forward.

“Y-yes.”

He stopped. “Buffy, if I’m hurting you—“

“No! It’s just ... go slow?”

“Baby, I don’t want to do this,” he said and pulled out completely.

“Will, please, it’s all right. I want to try it. Practice makes perfect, right?”

He sighed heavily. “If it hurts, you tell me.”

“Yes, I will.”

He slid back in, holding himself inside her to let her get used to the feeling before slowly sliding out.

She was starting to get used to it and she was surprised to find that she was actually close to orgasm. Scrunching the bed sheets in her fists, she encouraged him to go faster.

“Buffy, are you sure?”

“Yes, yes, please,” she nearly begged.

“Buffy,” he moaned, his hands digging into her hips. She could feel his lips on her back, moving her hair to the side. “Lift up,” he whispered and pulled her up so that she was kneeling.

“Oh, I like that,” she murmured and tilted her head to the side to give him access to her neck.

He bit, nibbled and sucked. “Buffy, Buffy, Buffy...” he chanted, pumping hard and fast.

“Will...I can’t...I’m going to...” and it was all over when he reached around and rubbed her clit. She exploded, cumming hard all around him, her walls squeezing the life out of Spike.

He came with a roar, jerking inside her, pushing himself inside as deep as he could go. He held her to him tightly, burying his face in her neck. He wanted so desperately to tell her he loved her, but was afraid how she’d take that, especially after he just came. There was some rule about that, he was sure. She wriggled from his grasp and crawled to her pillows, burrowing under the covers and nestling in. He chuckled at how adorable she looked and followed.

“Can I stay?” he asked softy, gathering her close to him

She nodded sleepily and yawned.

He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Get some sleep, luv. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay,” she said sleepily and was soon fast asleep.

********

William didn’t know how long he’d lain awake, holding Buffy, stroking her back, and pressing kisses to her forehead every so often. He couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how many times he was inside her, no matter how many times they made love and held each other after, she was slipping through his fingers. For a few blessed minutes she was there, right there with him, and then gone in an instant. It wasn’t settling well with him at all.

He felt at a loss. Did he stop making love to her? Did he tell her he loved her? One she wouldn’t understand and would take personally, the other she would recoil from.

“Help me out here, pet,” he whispered to her sleeping form. “I love you so much and I feel like I’m losing you before we’ve really begun.”

Sighing heavily, he decided he needed help. Dru. Dru could help him. She hadn’t been around, and rightly so, since he and Buffy had gotten quite intimate. He wondered if she was kindly giving them privacy, or if she was sticking close to Buffy in light of all the ghost trouble she’d been having. Or if she was part of it as a childish tantrum to get back at her sister for ignoring her for so long.

“And I forget to ask how tonight went. Great job, William,” he muttered to himself. Crawling out of bed, he decided to get something to drink, and hoped to run into Dru.

********

Buffy awoke with a start, not really knowing what caused her to awaken, but she did just the same. Looking to the side, she found William not there, and her heart sank. Then, she spotted his clothes, all but his jeans anyway, on the floor. So, what was he doing?

Crawling out of bed, and wrapping a robe that she used all of once around her, Buffy headed out of the room and down the stairs in search of William. “I bet he went to get something to eat or drink,” she muttered to herself.

Surprising him in the kitchen gave her wicked delight, and she nearly started to run to the kitchen.

Rounding the corner to enter, she slowed down when she heard his voice. Who was he talking to? Edina?

She froze when she got closer and could make out what he was saying.

********

“Come on, Dru. You haven’t come and visited me in quite a while. I need some help here. I need you to tell me if you know anything; if Buffy is going to be all right—“

“William.”

William froze, his heart nearly stopping in his chest. No, no, no, Christ no... He turned to find Buffy standing there, a perplexed look on her face.

“You want to tell me what the hell you’re doing? Did you just say she’s come to visit you?” she demanded.

Great job, mate.

“Buffy, now I want you to calm down and listen to me,” William began.

“I’m calm and I’m listening. Don’t patronize me, William.”

She looked anything but calm, however, as she was shaking in anger – or hurt? – before him, but she was most definitely listening.

“Buffy, why don’t we sit down—“

“I don’t want to sit. I want to stand. If you want to sit, you can sit.”

“I can stand.”

“Dru has visited you?”

“Yes, she visited me shortly after she passed.”

Buffy threw her arms up, “I knew it! There was something going on with you two. What is this? Why didn’t you just tell me when I asked if there had been—“

“Because there was never anything going on with us! Buffy, why do you have such a hard time believing that? I was never with Dru and I never wanted to be.”

“Then why is she visiting you?”

“Because she couldn’t come to you -- you blocked her out.”

“Do you see them too, or just her?”

“Just her.”

“How convenient,” she said sarcastically, crossing her arms about her chest. “What do I have to do with it? What do you mean about me being all right?”

“Heard everything, did you,” William muttered rhetorically, running a hand through his already dishevelled locks.

“Good thing I did, too. I hate secrets being kept from me.”

“Buffy...could we sit, please? Just sit with me.”

“Oh, this should be good,” she snapped. “Just tell me, William.”

“She wanted me to look after you because she saw bad things happening to you if you....” he broke off, losing his momentum.

“If I...?”

“If you didn’t stay here. She saw.... she saw your death Buffy.”

“My death? She saw my death?” Looking up, she shouted, “Oh, you’re really good at the melodrama aren’t you, Dru!”

“She was worried about you.”

“And so she had you look after me. How perfect.”

“I know what you’re thinking—“

“How was I going to die, hmmm? I have no friends, remember. No one wants to stick around or come close to the freak of nature that I am—“

“Don’t say shit like that!”

“So, how was I going to die? Car accident? Murdered by an intruder? A rapist?”

He winced at each of those scenarios. The image of Buffy’s lifeless body not settling well with him. “No,” he replied quietly, not wanting to tell her this part either. This was sure to come as a tremendous blow, and not help the fact that she already felt screwed up. But how could he lie, too? He’d kept this from her for long enough, and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. If they were going to make a go of it, then he needed to start coming clean now.

“Then, how—“ she broke off, and then paled. His girl was a smart cookie; he should have known it wouldn’t take her long to piece it together. For all of her naïveté, Buffy was quite jaded. She saw the world as her enemy, and as such, saw the evils of it much more keenly than the average person. A throwback, he was sure, to her parents who made her believe she was not worth anything, and that the world was out to get her because of that. It also chilled him to think she figured it out that quickly. Did that mean it’d been somewhere in her mind? That she’d thought of that violent act against herself?

“Oh.”

“Buffy, she just asked me to watch out for you. She...she was playing matchmaker, but I hadn’t figured that out until I started to fall for you.”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You weren’t falling for me. You only did all this because if I decided to off myself, you didn’t want my blood on your hands.”

“After everything we’ve shared—“

“Oh don’t even give me that crap. It would never have happened had you not seen me as some kind of charity case. Your darling best friend, my sister asked you to save me. Of course you felt obligated to do it. Anyone would have! Affection wasn’t your driving force, guilt was.” She shook her head. “I should have...Just go, William. You can rest assured offing myself isn’t on the horizon anytime soon. There will be no blood on your hands.” She started to walk away from him, and William lunged, grabbing her and bringing her to him.

“That’s not what you are to me,” he whispered hoarsely. “Not at all. You have never been a charity case to me, Buffy Summers. From the first moment I met you, you meant something to me—“

”That’s garbage—“

“It’s not. You think it is because you don’t want to believe that anyone could care for you and want you. I was drawn to you from the start, Buffy, and not because of what your sister told me—“

“So, you didn’t care to save my life then?”

He glared at her, “Don’t you twist my words like that. You’re deliberately doing that to get me to admit something – what is it? Just tell me so we don’t have to play any more games here, all right? I’m telling you what I feel Buffy, what I feel for you—“

“There’s no such things as feelings.”

“Yes, there is and you damn well know it!” Frustrated, and not sure how else to get it through her thick skull that he cared for her, the person and not the tragedy that could have befallen her, he kissed her. It was the only time she “heard” him, the only time she responded in what he could convince himself was a thoroughly loving manner. She believed him then – didn’t she?

She was kissing him back now, hungrily, and somewhere in the recesses of his mind he knew this wasn’t the way to deal with it, but how could he stop? She might decide to cut him loose completely and then what? He’d lose her, and he had no doubt that she could cut him off completely and not look back. Especially now that she felt hurt and betrayed, and oh Christ, what was he doing?

“Buffy, wait—“ he began, trying to push at her.

“No, I don’t want to,” she breathed, and kissed him once more, sticking her hand in his pants and stroking him to life.

“Fuck.... Buffy, no...”

“Yes,” she said forcefully, and his body reacted despite his warring conscience.

“Buffy, I just want to love—“

She cut him off with a kiss, pushing him back against the wall, and stroking him still. Without warning, she dropped to her knees and yanked down his boxers, engulfing him in her hot mouth.

His fingers tangled in her hair and he wasn’t sure anymore if he meant to stop her or encourage her. Before he could find the words to tell her something, anything, she was pulling him by the hand to the table and sitting on it.

“Buffy...” he said, taking a deep and ragged breath, halting her by placing his hands on her arms.

“Don’t stop, William, please. Show me how you care, please.”

He wanted to cry. He had also never truly felt stuck between a rock and a hard place either. She was breaking his heart – and if she were breaking his, what was the state of hers?

He didn’t move fast enough for her apparently, for she was then taking Spike in her hands and guiding him to her center; sliding herself onto him.

“Buffy,” he gasped and gathered her to him. She wasn’t even that wet. . . he stilled his movements, not wanting to hurt her, but she kept on, thrusting herself as best she could against him.

“Buffy...” he moaned.

“Yes, William, please...Please, William, please...” she kept saying over and over.

His body betrayed him and soon he was pounding into her while hot tears cascaded down his cheeks and it was too late that he realized, as he was cumming inside her, that she was crying too.

Who had taken advantage of whom? Had William taken advantage of her, or was it she that had taken advantage of him? And was it possible that one had taken advantage of the other since they’d consented…at some point, they’d consented.

She hadn’t wanted it; she couldn’t have, not like that. It was why she wept. It was why she was now pushing at him and telling him to let her go.

But he wouldn’t.

He held onto her, for leaving her was what she
expected him to do. He wouldn’t let her go to deal with
this alone. She was a novice to the world of sex and all
the games lovers could play upon each other. She
didn’t even know that she’d just played one herself,
the deadliest one of them all: Making sex be love and
thinking that was enough. It wasn’t. Not for him, and
he’d be damned if he let her think that it was. He
wasn’t sure what was going on in her mind, and he
knew she wasn’t going to tell him. Not for a while
anyway. He’d get it out of her though, eventually. That
was one thing Buffy understood, but still seemed to
underestimate about him: He got what he wanted,
inevitably. No matter how long he had to wait for it. He
imagined it was the patience he had. He could wait
anyone out. Sure, he seemed the most impatient of
them all, but when it came to that which he most
desired, he could wait for an eternity for it.

And now, he wanted Buffy, and for an eternity he would
wait for her. He would hold on, just like this. Hold her,
comfort her, dry her tears, assuage her fears and
battle the demons of her mind if it meant that one day,
she’d feel whole and not less than she what she was, and if it meant that one day, she’d love him as well.
He felt dirty; sick. He should have stopped her, and he didn’t. He was weak, and now he had to be strong. For her.

“Let go of me!” she screamed, pushing with all her might at him. She was weakening though. Exhaustion was creeping in, and emotion was weakening her as well.

“No,” he said firmly.

Now she was pleading, having given up the fight. “Please, William, please let me go. Just let me go, please.”

“No,” he told her.

She was sobbing in his arms, and his only inclination
was that he needed to hold her. He wished he could
say that it was only for her that he did it, but that was
not the case. He needed to hold her for him too. Fear
ruled him. If he were to go, she would be lost to him
forever and he would not stand for that. In the short
time it took for William to fall in love with Buffy, he’d
come to need her. He needed her the way he needed blood and air, and that was saying a lot considering when he had lost Fred, he thought he’d never love again. He did love again, and it was with an intensity he was sure rivaled Heathcliff’s love for Cathy.
He’d been empty when he met Buffy, but he hadn’t known how empty. He filled his life with family and friends, but he was merely going through the motions until he found her. And yeah, if he was completely honest with himself, her need of someone – whether she knew it or admitted it – filled his need to be needed. That’s what a relationship was at its core, wasn’t it? The fulfillment of needs from another that was lacking. Sure, one could take care of themselves efficiently, but at the end of the day, the touch, care and love of another was essential for growth and progress. He was dying; she was dying; together, they were alive.

He stroked her hair, tried to reign in his own tears, and whispered loving words that she probably didn’t even really hear, but subconsciously he hoped she would.
He lifted her in his arms, swinging his arm under her knees, and drew her against him. Her body shook with tremors, left over sobs that wracked her body, but she had quieted. Carrying her upstairs, and into her bathroom, he placed her on the toilet while he drew a warm bath.

She watched him, mutely. Her expression blank. He wasn’t sure if that was more disconcerting than her tears.

When the bath was drawn, he lifted her and placed her in the tub. She sat there, not moving, and he slid in behind her. Taking the washcloth that was resting on the side; he dunked it in the water and proceeded to lather it up. He set about washing her as best he could, very sure to make sure each touch was innocent, and meant in no way sexual. When he was done washing her, he leaned back in the tub and brought her back against him, pushing her hair to the side and kissing the nape of her neck. He buried his face there and whispered. “I love you, Buffy. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. You are not my charity case—“

He stopped when he felt the shift in her body. She froze. Okay, well, baby steps. He held her for a while longer in the tub, hoping he was helping her relax, helping her trust him at least a little. When the water started to chill, he released the plug and stood, grabbing a large fluffy towel from the bathroom closet and helping her stand and climb out, he wrapped her up in it, and then grabbed one for himself. He dried himself off quickly and then set about drying her. She was shivering slightly and he once again picked her up, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He carried her into her bedroom, laid her down on the bed and covered her. Climbing in next to her, he flicked the light out on the bedside table, and gathered her close to him. She resisted him and rolled over, away from him. Not to be put off, William sidled up close so that he was just barely spooning her. She relaxed and he slid his arm across her belly. She let him, she even relaxed into him.

He didn’t fall asleep for a long time; he wanted to make sure she was asleep before he allowed himself the luxury. He felt strung out, stressed. He was at the end of his tether and he was trying hard to be strong. How had things gotten so wrong between them? When did it happen? He thought things had been going so well. He thought it was just a matter of time…Had he wanted it so bad that he just didn’t see what was happening before him? Did he mistake it all for his own wishes? Obviously, that was the case. He’d mistook her exuberance for making love with him as love, that she was getting closer to it, that one day, she’d see it as them making love because they were in love. And what had she seen it as? Had she been using him? Or had she thought this was all he wanted? Did she think this was all she could give him?

William’s thoughts were torturing him. Pulling her closer to him, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, fended off the tears as best he could, and fell asleep.

William yawned and stretched, awakening slowly. He felt somewhat rested, but not entirely. The night before came rushing back at him in a wave, and he turned to find Buffy, still in bed with him, her back turned to him. Scooting closer, he sat up to see if she was awake.

She was. She had her hands under her head, her body slightly turned in fetal position and she was staring off. She was not moving and if not for her eyes being open, he’d have thought she was asleep.

Crawling out of bed, William made his way around the bed and kneeled before her. Her eyelids fluttered as he came into her peripheral, and she reared back just a bit, clearly not expecting him to be there in her face.

He reached out slowly and she watched his hand as it descended to her hair. He pushed some from her face and stroked her long locks. “Morning, pet,” he said, attempting a smile.

“I’m not your pet.”

Well, at least she was talking now.

“Okay,” he amended, “You’re my Buffy.”

“Not anyone’s,” she muttered and rolled over. “Go away.”

“Nope. Not gonna do that. I will leave you to use the facilities, but then I will be back.”

“Then you go.”

“No, told you, not going to do that.”

He looked over at her on his way to the bathroom and found her staring at him, expressionless. Her eyes though, were hard. Sighing inwardly, he shut the door to the bathroom and pondered how he was going to get through to her.

By the time he came out of the bathroom, she was up and gone. She couldn’t have gone far, he thought as he quickly dressed.

Jogging to the kitchen, he found her pouring a bowl of cereal. She didn’t even look at him as he came in and started grabbing a bowl for himself. Instead, she put the milk back in the fridge and strolled out of the kitchen as if she had never noticed him. Calmly, he fixed his bowl and then went in search of her. He found her outside at the fountain, sitting sideways, her legs sprawled out before her, staring up at it as she absently ate. He sat down next to her. It was going to be a long day, he realized. She wasn’t about to let him in to her thoughts, and she seemed intent on ignoring him.

She got up and made her way back to the house, making a point to shut the door behind her firmly, as a point, he knew that she wanted him out. He was not welcome.

She was testing him. Buffy didn’t seem to realize what a fantastic test taker he was. Okay, he’d give her some space. He’d let her do what she had to do inside and stay out of her way for a while, a half hour tops, and then he’d go find her. He had to prove to her that he would not leave no matter what she threw at him. He had to make her see that even at her worst; he was there for the long haul.

He was not going anywhere.

********

“Dammit, why won’t he just fucking go?” Buffy muttered to herself as she scrubbed her scalp harshly in the shower. “Why doesn’t he just leave me alone? I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone. I can handle things just fine by myself.” She took a deep breath, her voice wobbling uncontrollably as the tears cascaded down, mixing with the shower water. “I don’t need anyone. I can do this alone. He can just go. I don’t….I don’t….need him….” Her body was wracked with sobs she could no longer contain. “He doesn’t love me,” she sobbed, sinking to the bottom of the tub. “He only wanted to be with me because of Dru. Because of her stupid cryptic messages…He can’t love me. It’s not real. Love isn’t real. It’s not real….”

“Such a shame, Buffy. It seems no one can bear to stay with you, can they?”

”Good God girl, why do you cry over needless things? You’re so sensitive about everything it’s a wonder anyone can stand to be around you.”

”You don’t think he actually likes you, do you? He just wishes to use you. You have a car, you have a body. . . Dru has the personality, Buffy…”

“He doesn’t love me…He can’t…” Buffy murmured, numbing herself, allowing it to surround her like a blanket. It was possibly the only thing she was really good at.

********

William was pacing outside her bedroom door. He’d told himself he wasn’t going in there, but damn, she’d been in the shower for a long time, and he was starting to worry. What if she -- ? Visions of Buffy in the tub, her blood coloring the water, her blood surrounding her, catapulted William into her bedroom and just as he was about to burst through the bathroom door, it flung open.

She stepped back, startled to see him there. She was fully clothed in running pants and a long t shirt. Her hair was wet and fell in strings around her shoulders and in her face. She looked up at him, and he was sure his concern was written all over his face.

She smirked, “Afraid I was going to slash my wrists in there?”

“That’s not funny, Buffy,” he said harshly.

She shrugged. “I thought it was,” she said and walked out of her room.

He followed her, grabbing her arm and making her look at him.

“What?” she demanded. “What do you want, huh?”

“I want…I want you to talk to me.”

“I am talking to you.”

“You know what I mean, Buffy.”

“Oh. You want me to talk about my feelings. I don’t have any.”

“Yes, you do. Despite how you try to hide them and cover them, you have them. If you didn’t have them, you wouldn’t be so angry with me right now.”

“That is the only feeling I have. I feel anger, and that’s it.”

“You’re angry because you’re hurt.”

“Thank you, fucking Freud. Come on; tell me how my parents fucked me up. Tell me how I need to rise above it!” She didn’t seem aware of the tears that were threatening to spill over as she spoke.

William grabbed her arms, keeping her still. “They did fuck you up, Buffy. And you let them!”

“Just leave me alone, I want you to just leave me alone!” she screamed at him.

“No! You don’t want me to leave, Buffy. You want me to stay, you want me to prove that I’ll be here through it all, and I will be here through it all.”

“No, I don’t,” she told him through clenched teeth.

“I’m not going anywhere, Buffy. I’m going to stay here and prove to you that I love you—“

She winced at those words and struggled in his arms.

He continued on. “I love you and I’m going to stay and prove it to you. You can lean on me; you can trust me. I won’t hurt you, and I won’t let you go…”

“Stop, please, just stop…you can’t. You can’t.”

“I do.”

“I’m not lovable, I’m not lovable, I’m not….” She was full out sobbing now.

He pulled her to him, gathering her quick in his arms. “Yes, you are, Buffy. You are so incredibly lovable. You’re so lovely and special. You are so sweet even though you think you’re not. You care about other people; you have such generosity in your heart. It’s the reason why you want Edina to be part of everything. You want to be loved; you just don’t know how to handle it when they do. You protect yourself from it, and you think in turn you’re protecting those around you.”

“No one wants to stay with me. They can’t bear it. I drive them away. I’m a freak.”

They sank to the floor together, William cradling her in his lap, holding her close as she wept. He wasn’t sure how long they sat there like that, all he knew was that whatever she said that negated his love for her, he came right back with more affirmations of his love and why. Somehow, she’d see it. Somehow.

William held her on his lap for a long time after her tears and protestations that he did not love her had subsided. Her body trembled now and then with the last of her sobs, and now she was quiet, her face pressed into the crook of his neck, her hot breath fanning across his neck. He stroked her back and intermittently pressed kisses to her forehead. He thought perhaps she was asleep, but he wasn’t sure.

“I know they were wrong,” she whispered.

He waited, giving her time to continue.

“I told myself over and over that they were cold and heartless. Each new dig they made, I told myself that I’d rise above it; that I’d show them. The problem was that was what it became about. Showing them. I wanted to prove to them so much that I wasn’t all those things they said, but all I did was prove they were right the harder I tried.”

“They weren’t right, Buffy. You’re not what they said—“

“I am. You were right; I do try to have this cold front, and I try to come off as if I don’t care. The thing is though, inside, I care. I want so desperately to feel accepted, and then if I am in some way, it’s so foreign a concept to me that I can’t handle it. That doesn’t make any sense does it?”

“It does. You’re not used to it. You keep everyone at arms length, you don’t let anyone get close enough for even the possibility of feeling that acceptance.”

“I let people down, inevitably. I let them down. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn’t good enough. All I wanted was some recognition, a nod for crying out loud, that I did well. But there was always something else to prove. Take that and then add in my sixth sense and there you have someone that alienates herself even more. Dru always let things roll off her back, and I tried so hard to be like that and I could never master it. She didn’t care what people thought of her. I always wanted to be like that.”

“Some people have that natural ability, pet, others don’t. We’re all wired differently. You know, I wasn’t always the self – assured, debonair man you see before you.”

She tried to hold it back, but soon a laugh escaped.

“Knew I could get a laugh,” he smiled. “My father growing up used to ride me hard about getting ahead. I think he expected me to have found what I wanted to do at the age of ten, and let me tell you, fireman was not on his list. While I wanted to be out playing with my friends, he wanted me to read and study, be holed up in a study the way he always was. You know, I don’t think I ever saw my parents show any affection for one another, not even once. He wanted me to be a genius and he was disappointed that I wasn’t. So, he thought he could make me one. I rebelled more, as I got older, became a punk that got in a lot of trouble. He pretty much disowned me, which only angered me further. He wouldn’t even try anymore; he’d just shake his head at me and walk away. He died when I was seventeen. Heart attack. My last words to him were “So long, Pops” as I was walking out the door to meet my friends. He’d tried talking to me that day about my future, and I wanted none of it. I left saying that with a wave of my hand, discarding him.”

“What happened to your mom?”

“She married shortly after his passing to the pharmacist. I always wondered why we had so many bottles of aspirin.”

Buffy giggled softly and the sound was music to his ears. “What happened after?” Buffy asked.

“Uncle Rupert became a father figure to me. I went to him and told him that I felt guilty; I told him what my last words were to my father. I think I thought that if he could forgive me, then it’d be like my father forgiving me. He told me that life is short and we have to make the most of what we have, that holding grudges and holding on to the negative things isn’t a healthy way to live. He was convinced that my father was too caught up in the ‘what might have been’s’ in his own life that it ultimately killed him. He gave it to me straight that my father wanted to be a mini-him only better, but that probably wouldn’t have suited him either; me surpassing him.”

“He told you that?” Buffy asked in awe.

“He did. He was right, of course. My father was always jealous of what other people had in terms of success. He always wanted to know more. He wanted to be that genius he tried to mold me into. And as much as I was angry with myself for how things had been left before my father died, I was also incredibly angry with him. It took me a long time to stop being angry at him, and when I finally let that anger go, I forgave myself as well.”

“When did you decide what you wanted to do?”

“Shortly after he died. I had always been a high honor student; I just never let him know I was. I let him think I was a fuck up. Hard working student by day, and hoodlum by night. After that I quit being a hoodlum and focused on going the straight and narrow. I resented the hell out of him for finally getting what he wanted out of my guilt.”

“Wow. I never knew all that. How come you never shared?”

He shrugged, “It’s part of who I am, but not all. It helped mold me into who I am today, but it didn’t make me who I am. And that’s the same with you, Buffy. It’s all in realizing what you are and who you are, not what they want and what they expect. I hate to say it, but you’re never going to live up to their expectations, and you shouldn’t. What have they done to deserve all that’s wonderful about you?”

“Is this where you get self-help on me and start telling me that its their problem they can’t see how ‘wonderful’ I am and not mine?”

“Yes.”

She shook her head and tried to disengage from him. He held her fast, and made her look at him. “It’s true, Buffy. Your parents are people that never should have had children in the first place. For some bizarre reason, they decided to reproduce and then took sport out of trying to ruin their kids.”

“Then how is it Dru came out fine and I didn’t? What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Buffy. You and Dru are two different people, that’s all. You can’t beat yourself up for not being like Dru. Instead you should be celebrating who you are.”

“I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin, William.” This time, she succeeded in climbing off his lap and she stood before him. He stood as well, facing her. “The fact is that I can get that my parents were horrible, that I’m a perfect child of the universe and all those other self-help things that you and Dru and anyone else can tell me until I’m blue in the face. You can tell me how wonderful I am, you can tell me what it is I need to do to block out their teachings and ‘come into my own’, but the fact of the matter is, that none of that means anything unless I believe it. You think that by saying you love me – and just when I find out that Dru was seeing you about me, mind you that you start saying it –“

He opened his mouth to cut her off and she held up her hand to stop him.

“You think that by telling me what it is I need to do, or how I need to feel, or how I should think is going to somehow just click in my brain in like magic. That I’m going to have this epiphany, and the skies will open up and angels will start singing and finally, finally, will I see the light. People have epiphanies every day William. You know how many ‘They were so wrong’ moments I’ve had? Several. A million. It still hasn’t changed the way I feel about myself. And I’ve read enough self-help books to know that until I can change that I feel like hell about myself, nothing will change.”

“Your problem is, you have a setback and you think automatically that all they said to you, and all that you feel about yourself is just confirmed by that one rejection or let down! You don’t have any faith in yourself! You let it go too easily. You don’t think, ‘The hell with them bastards for thinking I’m nothing!’ You don’t fight the right way, Buffy.”

“I don’t do a lot of things the right way, William,” she murmured.

“Buffy—“

“I tried once, you know.”

“What?”

“To kill myself. I tried once. I had the razor against my wrist. I went down a centimeter and freaked out. You’d have thought that would have turned me around, but it didn’t. It just made me think that it was one more thing I failed at. Maybe Dru was right.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that,” William told her harshly, shaking.

“William, I’m tired,” she said, defeated. “Just go home.”

“No, I am not going home. If you think I’m leaving you after what you just said—“

“I’m not going to kill myself! Didn’t you hear me? I failed. I got scared.”

“Buffy—“

He was cut off by a loud crash that sounded as if it came from the room next to them. Buffy jumped a mile and then rushed in the room, William hot on her heels. The room had sheets all over the scarce furniture in the room. A lamp had fallen over and crashed to the floor, shards of glass scattered everywhere. William held her back from walking on it, but Buffy’s attention was on the wall. Where she’d taped up the paint samples – what day did she do that? -- the samples were on ripped up and scattered on the floor in little pieces. And, the rug samples she’d put in there, were torn to shreds and scattered with them.

“Bloody hell,” William whispered.

“Think it’s time a little cleansing was done,” Buffy said, incensed. “Damn ghosts aren’t going to get the best of me. I’m the living! You’re not going to scare me away!”

“Now that,” William stated, “Sounds more like it.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy snapped.

William gestured to her, “You saying you won’t let the ghosts run you out of here. That sounds like a determined woman to me.”

“Yeah, well…” she muttered and gathered up the shredded paint samples and carpets. She stalked out of the room, bellowing for Edina.

What was she up to now? William wondered and followed her. He was beginning to feel like a lap dog at this point. Edina met her downstairs, looking frazzled and startled. William didn’t blame her. He’d never seen Buffy this riled up before.

“Did you do this?” she demanded shoving shreds in her face.

Edina stared at her demanding and irate mistress. “What?”

“I found these, torn to shreds. Did you do it?”

“Miss, no, I would never—“

“Then who did it?”

“I – I am sure I don’t know. No one here I can assure you.” She looked over at William and Buffy followed her gaze to him.

“He hasn’t, and he wouldn’t,” Buffy snapped. “I’m going out.”

“Where are you going, Miss?” Edina asked, concerned. “Are you sure you’re in a state to drive?”

“I’m fine,” Buffy shouted over her shoulder, grabbing her keys of the table in the foyer, and sliding her feet into her sandals.

William rushed after her. His girl was on a mission, but to where?

“Just go away, William. Let me handle this on my own, all right?” she said as she made her way to her car.

“If it’s all the same to you, Buffy, I’d prefer to go. I’ll drive.”

“Look,” she said spinning to him. “I have put up with your presence here thus far—“

“You’ve done nothing of the sort!” he protested.

“But I don’t need you watching over me anymore, you got it? There are some things I can do by myself. You want to stay and make sure I don’t harm myself, fine, fucking do it. I don’t give a shit anymore. But I do need some space before I do kill myself, all right? Back off, William.”

He held up his hands, “Backing off. Where are you going? Tell me that at least.”

“I’m going to see Tara. Don’t tell Edina, got it?”

“Got it. Loud and clear.”

“Thank you.”

********

Buffy couldn’t really say why she didn’t want Edina to know she was going to see her niece, but something inside her told her not to let her know, so she went with it. Her stomach was in knots, but her anger far outweighed her nerves. She supposed her nerves would give way once she’d settled, and then she’d have to ponder what the ghosts were doing and why; and if she was in any immediate danger.

She was thinking they weren’t as friendly as Tara had claimed they were. That had been a downright hostile act, tearing up those samples. She’d surpassed being kind at this point; she’d surpassed trying to make nice and be patient about the fact that perhaps they were just paying her back for being so contradictory to them.

Buffy was downright pissed now.

Everything just came to a head for her in that instant. Her parents, William, Dru, having to talk about her parents, her feelings, her anger, her dread, her fear…all of the shit that had been deep down inside her throughout the night before and the day had surfaced in that one moment and she’d reached the end of her tether.

She was fucking tired of feeling like a rag doll, shoved and pushed and bent in all sorts of directions. She was tired of the ghosts being uncommunicative, she was tired of William’s asking her for more than she could give, she was tired of Dru meddling from beyond the grave, she was tired of trying to make nice with Edina and she was tired of hearing her parent’s voice in her head.

In fact, she was so tired; she felt she was going to scream.

And so she did. Right in the car, on the way to Tara’s shop, Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs.

It felt fantastic. All of that had been building up for quite some time and the release was heavenly; sweet. Dare she admit: Empowering? It certainly wasn’t something she normally did.

She’d driven by Tara’s shop one day, just to bookmark it in her brain where she was, so she found it with ease, and even if she didn’t, she’d hunt until she did find it. She wanted answers; she wanted to know what to do next. She’d had it with them.

Parking in a public parking lot, Buffy made her way down a narrow cobblestoned path where shop after shop were lined up; all begging for entrance.

She stopped when she saw it. Or rather, as she was seeing, where it had been once upon a time. It was boarded up. Closed off. The sign was gone; there was nothing in the window. It had been cleared out.

It had been there just days before. What had happened? What the hell had happened?

“Such a shame isn’t it?” A voice behind her said.

She spun and found a young woman with blond hair; blue eyes and a nose ring, shaking her head and looking up at where the sign used to be.

“What happened to it?” Buffy asked. “Do you know?”

“The owner had to close down. She told me business wasn’t doing well and she could no longer afford to pay the rent. I don’t see how that was possible since each time I’d been in there; it was always swarmed with people. This was the only witch shop in town. The next one isn’t for miles,” the girl explained.

Buffy felt a chill cover her. Something was wrong. Something didn’t fit. “Do you know her? Tara, I mean. The owner?”

The girl looked stunned, “No, do you?”

“I did . . . I met her once. She helped me with some things…” Buffy trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck. “You wouldn’t happen to know where she lives then, I take it?”

The girl narrowed her eyes, “No, and even if I did, how do I know you didn’t meant to hurt her?”

Buffy sighed, “You don’t know that.”

“Right. Good day then.”

Turning back to the shop, Buffy thought fast. Now what? She didn’t know her last name, how the hell was she going to find her?

Feeling at a loss, Buffy headed back to the heart of the town. She was going to find a pub and a phonebook. Maybe, just maybe, Tara had the same last name as her aunt. Or maybe, just maybe, someone knew her and could help Buffy find the girl.

********

William had to wonder about Buffy’s insistence that Edina not know where she was going. So when the woman asked, and nearly scolded him for not going with her, William had snapped at her to mind her own business. Edina had huffed and marched off, clearly offended.

Taking the steps two at a time, William started going into the empty rooms, just to see. Room after room after room, he was met with all the same: Samples torn to shreds.

William didn’t like this, didn’t like it one bit. It had to be the ghosts, right? It had to be—who else if not Edina would have done it? The other workers would have no care to do anything of the sort. Just the same though, to cover all bases, he was going to question each and every one, and then, then when he was convinced that it hadn’t been the living that had done it, he was going to have a chat with Buffy about getting a priest and getting the goddamned ghosts out of her house.

Until then, all he could do was wait for his girl to come back.

Buffy didn’t have any luck. She’d gotten a few leads, but they all ended up leading her nowhere. Needless to say, by the time she arrived back at the estate, the wind had been taken out of her sails. She was exhausted. However, she felt that tendril of determination hanging on like a hangnail.

Checking her watch as she strolled up to the house, she found it was almost nine. William was probably worried sick. Not that she cared if he was or not. If she wanted to go out, she would, and she didn’t have to clear it with him first.

Feeling that at least she had that going for her, she entered the house and found it eerily silent. Peeking out the door, she checked to see if William’s car was in fact still there. She hadn’t noticed it on the way in; she’d been lost in her musings.

“I’m still here.”

She jumped a mile and shut the door, looking up at him to find him at the top of the steps. “Okay,” she said non-committal.

“Any luck?”

She sighed the sigh of defeat. “No. None. Her shop is closed down.”

His eyes widened. “Closed down?”

“Fraid so.”

“Why don’t you ask--?” and he nodded toward Edina’s chambers down the hall.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Gut feeling.”

“Ah, kind of like Dru?”

“Sort of, not really. She saw things, I feel them.”

“And your gut told you not to ask where to find…her?”

“Right.”

“Do you suspect something’s amiss?”

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

“Sure. Come on up.”

She shot him a wary look, but came up anyway. He was smiling when she came up and she was feeling a little leery about it. He was calm, almost too calm. She was expecting him to be demanding of where she’d been and what she’d been doing, and at least put out that she hadn’t called. Or at least that she hadn’t brought her phone to call.

They started walking slowly toward her bedroom.

“Want to tell me a bit more about this gut feeling of yours?”

“That’s all it is. Something inside me told me not to tell Edina that I was going to talk to Tara, so I followed it. Course it could have to do with the fact that the last time Tara was here, Edina and her had some kind of falling out.”

“Do you listen to your gut often like that?”

“I’m not perfect at it, but I try. Depends on how strong I feel it. It’s not an exact science.”

“So it felt pretty strong today?”

“Yes, it did.”

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“I was worried about you while you were out.”

“I was fine, William. Just frustrated.”

“Nonetheless, you were gone a long time. Do you think maybe next time you could remember to at least take your phone in case I want to call and hear for myself that you’re all right?”

“If there is a next time,” she muttered.

“Oh, with you, I’m sure there will be many ‘next times’.”

“Will, what are you going to do? Stay here again?”

“That is the plan, yes. You did tell me before you left that you didn’t care if I stayed.”

“Of all the times I told you to go, you remember the one time I told you, you could stay,” she said incredulously, turning to him.

He smiled, digging his hands in his pockets. “Of course.”

“Selective hearing?”

“Oh, I heard you all right, Buffy, all those times you told me to leave. That’s why I listened and decided to stay. You hungry? I made dinner. It’s in the stove. Join me?”

Her stomach growled in reply to that question and she let out another sigh of defeat and followed him to the kitchen.

********

After a silent, pensive dinner, Buffy and William made their way back up the stairs, and Buffy wondered if he meant to sleep with her again. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. Things felt strained somehow, despite all the talking they’d done.

“Will, where are you going to sleep?”

“I betted on the fact that you might not want me to sleep with you, so I figured I’d take the room I slept in the last time.”

She nodded slowly, “Okay.”

“Do you want me to sleep with you Buffy?”

“I don’t know that it’s such a good idea. I think it might be best if I sleep alone…on the other hand…”

“On the other hand…?”

“I’m kind of spooked from today.”

“I could sleep on the floor,” he offered.

“No, that’s…no. I can do this.”

“Buffy?”

“Hmmm?”

“What if I’m spooked too?”

She burst out laughing, not able to keep it in. “Yeah, right. You’re not afraid of anything.”

He smiled though he was thinking, I’m afraid of you, Buffy. You have the ability to eviscerate me, to cast me out of your life, and that frightens me. “Well, then,” he reasoned, “Let’s say if you get scared, you know where I am?”

She nodded, “Sounds like a plan. Night William,” she said over her shoulder, heading toward her bedroom.

“Night, Buffy. I love you,” he called after her, watching her until she had disappeared in her room.

********

She couldn’t sleep. Every creak, every noise, however small had her on alert. She hadn’t feel so on edge before. She hadn’t wanted to see or hear them before, but she hadn’t felt so afraid, as just uneasy. Now she just wasn’t sure. Not after finding those samples shredded, not after the lamp fell to the floor in a mighty crash. Peering at the clock, she found she’d been lying in bed for well over two hours and sleep was just not coming. She couldn’t relax enough.

To go or not to go...

Turning on her light before quickly dashing out the room and down the hall, Buffy fought the feeling that something was following her, chasing her as she ran. She always hated that feeling, and she knew if she turned around nothing would be there, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Then again...how did she know this time nothing would be there?

She was frightening herself, she thought as she burst into William’s room. He was up like a shot in bed.

“I can’t sleep,” she blurted out.

“You scared the living daylights out of me!”

“I’m sorry, I just felt like...Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, you did. I’m not that heavy a sleeper.”

“Do you mind if I...?”

He turned his bedside lamp on and looked at her. “Buffy, you know I don’t mind. I’d prefer it, actually.”

“Why? Are you scared too?”

“No, I just sleep better when you’re with me.”

Ignoring his comment, she hurried into bed with him, covered herself, and looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m such a wuss.”

He grinned, and laid so he could see her, “No, you’re not. You’re just reacting to that act of violence they took against you. It’s natural.”

“You’d think I’d be used to this by now,” she muttered.

“I don’t think one ever truly gets used to it, do you?”

“Does John Edwards look like he freaks out when he’s talking to them? No.”

“Well, in all fairness, he’s been doing it a while. You’ve ignored it most of your life.”

“Don’t make it sound so bad.”

“Sorry. You feel safer now?”

She nodded and yawned. “Yes.”

He rolled over and shut off the light. “Get some sleep.”

She rolled away from him, finding a niche in which to get comfortable. She froze slightly when she felt his arms wrap around her and his body press up against hers.

“Is this all right?” he whispered in her ear.

She was mush, really, at that point. “Yes,” she whispered back and relaxed against him.

“I love you,” he told her, but she was already on her way to Dream Land before she could even think to react.

Buffy awoke before William. She rolled over in the bed they shared and found him sleeping soundly, his arms crossed across his chest as if he were staving off a chill.

Look at him, she thought. He’s gorgeous, funny, smart, determined and just about everything I imagined in a boyfriend.

She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. And he is with you because of Dru.

She shook her head. No, that’s not it. Not entirely. It might have started out that way, but it wasn’t that way now. . . Was it? How do I know for sure?

“My gut, maybe,” she murmured to herself, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead.

“Having a nice conversation with yourself, pet?”

Buffy jumped slightly at the sound of his voice and automatically, she reached out and smacked him lightly for scaring her. He chuckled and buried his face in her neck.

“Morning, pet. Sleep well?”

“Yes, I did. Thank you for letting me stay with you.”

“Like I’d deny you. Willing slave here, Buffy.”

She smirked. “That could be dangerous.”

“Give me your best shot; I’ll prove it to you.”

Oh yeah? In a flash, she was straddling him, taking his arms and flinging them over his head. “How’s that?” she asked with a quirk of her brow.

He groaned, “You don’t play fair.”

“Ah, but you’re my willing slave. You said so yourself.”

He looked up at her, his eyes glittering. “And what is it you want me to do?”

“Just be at my mercy,” she murmured, finding herself lost in his eyes that spoke to her so loudly of love. He was right there, laid bare for her. And he wasn’t flinching, wasn’t recoiling . . . how did he do that?

Leaning down, she kissed him languidly and released her hold on his arms. He took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her and bring her closer.

She could get lost in him so easy...

“What do you want me to do, Buffy?” he asked her huskily.

“I want you to fuck me,” she whispered, nipping at his earlobe with her teeth, and rubbing her center against his.

The next thing she knew, she was on her back, with an aroused William above her. “No,” he told her, shaking his head. He sounded and looked slightly incensed.

She was taken back by that. “Why?”

He sighed, “Because I don’t ‘fuck’ you, Buffy. I make love to you, with you. You’ve used sex as something else for far too long already with me, and I’m not going to let you do it anymore.”

She struggled underneath him. “You’re not gonna let me?”

He held her fast. “No, I’m not going to ‘fuck’ you, until you call it making love. And I’m not going to make love to you until you tell me you love me.”

“I love you! Happy now?” she spat.

He released her and climbed out of bed. He ran a hand through his hair, his back to her. Buffy lay there, looking up at him, shocked for what she’d done and how he’d let her go just like that.

“You try me, Buffy,” he said softly. “I know what you’re doing and I know why.”

“You don’t,” she said, her voice shaking. She was dangerously close to tears and she couldn’t come up with any reason why except that she’d hurt him, and in doing so, hurt herself.

He turned to her. “Yeah, Buffy, I do.”

She looked away from him, not able to stand the pain in his eyes. Her bottom lip quivered. “I don’t know how to stop it.”

He came over to her, sitting down so he could face her. “Stop what, baby?”

“Stop being so nice to me! God, tell me I’m a bitch, tell me I’m crazy, fucked up, anything but don’t be nice to me, please!” She tried to get out of the bed, but William grabbed her arms, halting her and making her look at him.

“No, I won’t tell you that. Well, I might tell you you’re a bitch—“

She let out a strangled laugh.

“But I won’t tell you you’re crazy or fucked up. You’re not used to this, not used to someone fighting for you.”

“Dru did…” she whispered raggedly, swallowing a sob.

“She did, but you fought her…”

“I’m fighting you!”

He said nothing then, just smiled tenderly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on, I have something I want to show you that I didn’t get to last night.”

********

Buffy alternated between pondering that smile he gave her earlier when she’d told him she was fighting him, and the other shredded samples he’d found. She stabbed at a strawberry and absently chewed on it.

“So, what do you think?” William asked, munching on his own breakfast of pancakes and bacon.

“I don’t think anyone here would have done it...I mean, why?”

“Just to stir up trouble?”

She sighed and sat back, “Possibly.”

“Buffy, it doesn’t hurt to ask at least.”

“I don’t want...I don’t want them to feel as though I’m interrogating them.”

“Buffy, whoever did this deserves to be interrogated!”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe it’s the ghosts?”

“I think first we have to rule out all other avenues. What are you thinking, Buffy?”

“I’m thinking that it’s supernatural.”

“Then why did you accuse Edina?”

“I didn’t accuse...okay, I sort of did. I don’t know, anger? And she’s the one that had issue with my wanting to change the place.”

“Because of the B&B idea.”

“Right...”

He studied her closely. “Something you’re not telling me?”

“Ever feel like the answer is right in front of you and you can’t put your finger on it?”

He smiled, “Yes.”

“That’s how I feel.” She sighed, “All right. We’ll ask the staff.”

“All right. How do you want to do it?”

“Can we do it all casual like? I don’t want to set up a room with a bright light and glass
of water, ya know?”

William laughed, “All right, luv. Split up and ask then?”

She nodded resolutely, “Yes, that sounds about right.”

“Off we go then.”

He didn’t want to draw attention to it, figured he’d let her figure it out on her own, but she had used the collective ‘We’ the entire time and not the singular ‘I’, when it came to coming up with the plan. He wondered if she even noticed. She might be fighting him, but it seemed she only did so when she was aware of it; when she let her guard down, she drew him in and treated him as an equal; as her mate.

It was only a matter of time now. Or, at least he hoped.

“Blaming the staff isn’t the way to build a relationship with them.”



Buffy looked up from where she was settled in the library, just trying to gather her thoughts to find an irate Edina in the doorway.



“Excuse me?”



“Some of the staff has approached me, telling me that you are questioning them about the samples,” Edina explained.



“I wanted to know who did it,” Buffy told her matter-of-factly.



“You’ve made them feel as if you don’t trust them.”



Normally, a question like that would make Buffy feel guilty, and when she thought back to her conversation with William earlier that morning, this was exactly the sort of reaction she hadn’t wanted.



Except that right now, she didn’t care.



“I didn’t accuse—“



“The simple act of asking them made them feel as though you don’t trust them! Maybe if you took the time to get to know some of them instead of gallivanting off with Mr. Giles, you would see how hard and how dedicated these people are to you and this house.”



“Edina, can you do me a favor?”



“What?” the older woman said incredulously.



“Shut the hell up and mind your own goddamn business.”



Edina stared at her in complete shock, her mouth dropping and her eyes widening.



“I’ve done nothing but try and be kind to you and everyone here. I even tried to include you in plans for this house, and you slapped my hand as if I were some ridiculous child with preposterous ideas. I’ve gone above and beyond to be kind to you when others would think I didn’t need to do so. But I did. Out of respect, and thus far, you have respected me, however, you have this uncanny way of telling me in one breath how this is my home and in the next breath telling me what I’ve done wrong with it, or, just underhandedly making me feel guilty for wanting to make some changes in this house. This house that hasn’t been touched in years! I realize that my sister was a busy woman, and I know she loved this house, but she didn’t have time to decorate, and I do. The house was left to me, and I’m through letting you or anyone else, especially some crabby ghosts having temper tantrums scare me out of this house. I’ve lived most of my natural life feeling as though I was under someone else’s thumb and I’m fucking done. Now kindly turn yourself around, keep your trap shut and go back to work!”



She didn’t have to be told twice, in a flash, Edina was out the door, red faced and sputtering. Buffy sat back, heaving a cleansing breath when she heard clapping. Looking up she found William entering the room, a big grin on his face.



She rolled her eyes. “Going to tell me how proud you are of me?”



“No. I know you don’t like that sort of thing.”



She had to grin at that. Shaking her head, she ran a hand through her hair and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Any luck?’



“None. In fact, they hadn’t a clue what I was talking about, which they couldn’t have feigned that confusion. Not to mention all of them whispered to me as if it were afraid to be heard by those who go bump in the night, ‘Was it …you know?’ and when I’d say ‘The ghosts?’, they became absolutely horrified. They don’t know anything.”



“No one on my end either. You’d think if they were all spooked by the ghosts that lived here, they’d have left. And yet they stay.”



“Well, perhaps they figure the Lady of the House has them all in hand.”



“The Lady of the House is ready to . . . to do something.”



William chuckled. “Like what?”



She jumped up, “I don’t know. I’m just frustrated. I think I just need to clear my head for a bit. I was actually thinking that I’d go visit the stables. I haven’t ridden in ages, not since I was here last with Dru and she taught me how.”



“Are you good on a horse?”



She shrugged, “Fair.”



“So, instead of the Ghost Whisperer, are you the next Horse Whisperer?”



“That was lame,” she told him, smiling.



“I know you do rather well in the saddle,” he continued.



Buffy giggled, “You really need to stop while you’re ahead.”



“Why don’t you save a horse and ride a cowboy?”



She couldn’t stop laughing, putting her hand on his arm, she implored him to stop. He took her by surprise by kissing her quickly, the laughter dying, replaced by the urge for more of him. He pulled away much too quickly and told her he was going to call some clients and come out to see her after.



Yearning for more, Buffy tore herself away and headed toward the stables.



*******



Talking with Ed, the stable boy, or rather man, Buffy caught up on the horses and the routine Dru held with them. Apparently, she rode every day, and she alternated through the three horses she owned. Since she’d passed, Ed had brought out his niece’s, who consequently took lessons, and let them exercise the horses and help clean the stables every day.



“Is that all right, Miss, that I do that?” Ed asked as he taught Buffy how to saddle Midnight, Dru’s favorite sleek, black horse.



“Of course it is. . . Hey, Ed?”



“Yes, Miss?”



“Do your niece’s have a place to keep a horse?”



“Well, they’re working on that. They have enough of a field to put in a stable, but my brother is hesitant on whether or not he should put one in.”



“Is he afraid they wouldn’t take care of them if they had them?”



“Right, Miss.”



“How old are they?”



“Twelve and thirteen. They come out here with me, hoping I’ll put in a good word for them. I really think they’d do well, you know? They work hard out here with me, and they’re quite willin’ to learn. My brother just fears that’ll all change when they get what they want.”



“Well, Ed, here’s a plan that you can share with your brother, but not your niece’s.”



“What’s that, Miss?”



“Sugar and Plum are theirs if they want it, I just would like to keep Midnight since he was my sisters.”



Ed’s eyes bulged. “You mean that, Miss?”



“I do. No need for those two horses to not have a home with two girls that would love them, is there?”



“Oh, Miss, thank you. Thank you so very much.”



Buffy grinned. “You’re welcome. So. Now what?”



********



Buffy was a little rusty in her riding at first, but she soon got the hang of it. She opted to stick close to the house instead of venturing out further; sticking close by seemed to be the best and safest bet.



She could feel the muscles in her thighs acquiring a good workout, and it felt good to breathe in some fresh air. She would sleep well that night. When it started to grow dark, she made her way back to the stables. Dusk had fallen; her favorite time of the day. Guiding Midnight to the stables, she wondered if William had come looking for her. Maybe he’d be inside waiting for her come back. Or, maybe he’d made them a feast for dinner.



She chuckled to herself. “He’s like my bitch,” she joked, and decided he probably wouldn’t like to hear that, especially not in light of the past couple days. Not wanting to dwell on that, namely because she didn’t like to think about how much she hurt him, she focused instead on the task at hand.



Steering Midnight inside, she found the stables lit by one lamp; the rest seemed to be out. Midnight whinnied, causing Sugar and Plum to join in. Seeing that Midnight’s stable was open, she kicked him lightly to move toward it, but the horse resisted, and whinnied again, this time much more urgently.


“Come on, Midnight,” Buffy told the horse, as soothingly as possible despite the hair that was rising at the back of her neck.



Midnight whinnied; sounding distressed, and stepped backwards. Sugar and Plum whinnied back, sounding just as distressed.



Just as Buffy was about to slide off Midnight, she saw movement at the back of the stable. In horror, she watched a black cloud, a gigantic black cloud, take form into that of a man, or rather, a giant. It stood from the floor straight up to the rafters. It had the shape of a nose, two white eyes and a mouth at the top, the head as large as her body.



Its mouth opened and a tremendous roar erupted from it. It disappeared in a flash as Midnight sent Buffy hurtling to the ground when the horse reared up. As she was on her way down to the ground, she saw a head going by the stables, a woman’s head…Edina?



“Buffy!”



William was there, he was shouting her name, but all Buffy wanted to do, and could do, was close her eyes.

"Buffy, luv, wake up...Come on, luv...Buffy, you have to wake up now..." William kept on despite the no response he was getting from his lady love. Fear gripped him. God, what if suicide wasn't it? What if Dru had been terribly wrong and this was the way Buffy was going to go? Surely that couldn't be though, right? Could anyone die from being thrown off a horse? Looking at the size of Midnight, trying like hell to get out of the barn, it seemed entirely plausible. She could have broken her lovely neck.... Tears burst forth and all rational thought seemed to leave him, such as at least checking for a pulse. All he could do was pull Buffy in his lap and beg her to wake up.

"William?" came her muffled voice.

“Buffy,” he said, choking back a sob.

Her eyes opened slowly, her expression telling him she was in pain. “Did you see it?”

“See what, luv?”

“Did you hear it?”

“Hear what?”

“Did you see her?”

“See who?”

She tried to sit up with a grumble, and William helped her as best he could. “Luv, take it easy. You’re hurt.”

“Is Midnight hurt?”

“Midnight is fine you daft bint!”

“Why are you yelling at me?” she demanded. “I didn’t do it, I didn’t do anything!”

“You scared the living daylights out of me! I come out here to see you flying through the air and you’re rambling on about seeing something, and then about the damn horse, when I don’t give a flying fuck about either of those things!”

“I’m fine! Now please help me stand for crying out loud.”

Her back hurt, namely her tail bone. She was sure it was bruised. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d done something like that. “Man, I feel like I just fell off a horse.”

He glared at her, “You did just fall off a horse.”

“Unclench, William, it was a joke.”

“What hurts the most?”

“My tailbone. I bet I bruised it.”

“Let’s get you to the emergency room,” he said, and wrapped an arm around her to try and guide her to his car.

She dug in her heels. “Wait.”

“Now what?” he asked incredulously.

She pulled herself free from him and gingerly stepped forward, wincing as a sharp pain shot up her back. William, seeming to sense her discomfort, was there in a flash, supporting her.

“What do you want to see?”

“Just…” she trailed off, not talking until she was where she’d seen the black cloud/ghost/giant demon. Peering out the window, she saw nothing. No trace of anyone.

“I know I saw her,” she muttered to herself, “Why would I make that up?”

“Buffy, what is going on?”

“I’ll tell you on the way to the emergency room.”

“Wow, you’re actually going to let me take you?”

“I’m stubborn, William, not stupid. I just got thrown off a horse for Christ’s sakes.”

Under normal circumstances, William might have laughed at the dry humor, but at that moment, he wasn’t in a particularly jovial mood.

********

William seemed to have slipped into a catatonic state after Buffy relayed to him what she saw and what had happened. His mouth hit the floor, and his eyes were wide.

“Will,” Buffy said calmly as they sat in the emergency room parking lot. “I don’t mean to be a pain, but I need some help.”

He snapped into action, shaking his head as if clearing what she’d just told him from his mind. Silently, he helped her out of the car and into the emergency room.

“Do you believe me?” she asked after she’d filled out the needed forms and was waiting patiently for someone to see her.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“You’ve been quiet.”

“I’m in shock.”

“Okay, but I need you to not be in shock anymore. You have to help me figure this out. Two heads are better than one, after all.”

“You say you think you saw Edina?”

“Yes. It had to be her, Will, why would my mind conjure her up as I was on my way to the ground?”

He winced at that, seeing that image in his mind replaying over and over. “I don’t have an answer to that.”

“Yeah, neither do I, that’s the problem.”

“You think she’s connected to the ghost you saw?”

“That gigantic phantasm that roared me right off Midnight’s saddle? Yeah, I’m thinking she had something to do with it. Why else would I have seen her? What other reason would she have to be there? And if she saw me fall, why didn’t she come and help?”

“Because she saw me coming?”

“I yelled at her before I went out to ride.”

“Buffy, this is a large accusation here; even for the things I’ve heard and seen myself. I mean…what is it exactly that you’re accusing Edina of?”

“I’m not sure yet,” she said, thoughtfully, gnawing on her bottom lip. “All I know is that when I add it all up in my head, the weird stuff started to happen when I told her that I wanted to turn that house into a Bed & Breakfast. First she was all helpful with wanting me to talk to Tara, and then she and Tara had a falling out that same day. The very next day when I came home and Darla had been there, I felt nothing, remember? I told you I no longer felt their presence.”

“I remember.”

“That night, the candle kept blowing out and the plate got smashed. Then the chair flew against the wall the next night, and then the samples get shredded. And how is it that all of a sudden Tara is missing and her shop is gone? I talked to a woman that day who told me her shop was always busy.”

“That’s one woman out of a hundred, Buffy.”

“Not the point, William! You’re an attorney, add up the facts. That thing was meant to scare me. It was meant to hurt me. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t been coming. Midnight could have trampled me to death—“

“Buffy, shut up,” William barked.

“My gut was telling me not tell Edina that I was looking for her niece. And lo and behold, her niece is missing. What more do you need?”

“I need to know what she’s doing!”

“Well, that’s what we’re gonna find out.”

“How?”

“That is a brilliant question. I have no flipping clue.”

“How do you know it’s not the house ghosts that all just got together like that?”

Buffy shook her head, “It wasn’t them. It hasn’t been them. I thought it was at first… I think I just wanted to think that they were pissed at me, but that they’d get over it and we’d work together. But it’s not them. They wouldn’t have done any of this. They don’t feel like that thing did. It was evil. Malevolent. I believe what Tara said, my ghosts weren’t out to hurt me. This thing though, it was. The question is why?”

“Well…” William mused, “If I were to slip into Edina’s shoes and see things from her perspective after adding it all up,” he said pointedly, giving her a look, “I’d say it was to get you out of that house. To stop you from turning it into a B&B and to run you out so she could have that place to herself.”

“Well if that’s the case,” Buffy said resolutely, “That bitch just got the fight of her life on her hands.”

After receiving a clean bill of health and given some mild painkillers for her slightly bruised tailbone, Buffy and William made their way out of the hospital in silence.

"Buffy, it's just the same to you, I'd rather not take you home. I'd rather take you to my home."

"If it's just the same to you...I'd really like that," she said, smiling warmly at him.

"You know...just when I think I have you figured out, you manage to somehow throw me for a loop," he said in wonderment, shaking his head.

"Oh, how is that? I've always thought I was pretty predictable."

William stopped in front of his car, giving her an incredulous look. "Are you serious?"

She shrugged. "Yeah."

"You are nothing of the sort. I admit, at first I thought you were. I thought I could guage each response and reaction...but now, now you blow me out of the water."

Buffy laughed, "Give me a for example."

"Well, right now for example. I figured you were gonna fight me on taking you to the hospital, and you didn't."

"That's cause behind this cold and tough exterior, I'm really a baby when it comes to pain," and she grinned cheekily.

"Okay, that right there...cold and tough. You're not cold. You think you are, you try to be, but you're not."

"Hey! I am so."

William laughed this time, "You're insulted that I don't think you're cold?"

She grinned. "I guess a part of me would like to think I am. That way no one can ever know if they've hurt me. If they knew how to hurt me, then they'd do it all the time."

"The wrong people would hurt you, Buffy. There are people out there that do that sort of thing for sport, but you have to know by now, that I'm not one of them."

"I know," she admitted softly. "So, tell me. How am I not cold and tough?"

"Well, when we're making love, you are the hottest woman I've ever been with and ever want to be with."

She turned away from him, wrinkling her nose. Grabbing her arm, he made her look at him. "What's that then?"

"I just..." she shook her head, "forget it."

"No, tell me, I want to know."

She took a deep breath, gestured a bit and then said quickly, "I don't like hearing about you with other women. Okay? Happy?"

He smiled broadly, "Very."

"It's kind of not fair, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've had other women...You're my first. I've had no other men."

"And you won't either," he growled, snatching her in his arms. "Not if I have anything to say about it. If you want me to rip his arms off and club the guy to death with them, by all means, go for it."

She giggled, "Now there's an image."

"Buffy, look at me, luv."

She looked up at him to find his expression solemn, his gaze full of such love it made her knees weaken and her heart pick up speed.

"I only want you," he declared. "You are it for me. Forever."

Buffy could see the truth in his eyes and she held onto him, gripping him tightly to keep from falling. "Wow," she breathed.

"Do you believe me?"

And the thing was, she did. She really did. When she'd first found out about Dru, she'd been hurt and it had put the nail in her coffin that no one could ever truly care for her, at least not like her sister did. She thought he was there just to keep a promise to Dru, and just to keep his conscious clean, but really, he didn't have to put up with any of the crap she threw at him since then. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she'd been well aware that she'd been testing him; wanting to see how far she could go with pushing him before he'd just up and leave. Then she could say, "See? You never loved me. No one does."

Yet, he'd stubbornly stayed, and persistently showed her how much he did care. He was firm and loving, understanding sweet. He didn't put take her crap like a doormat, and he didn't not let her be who she needed to be to protect herself. He took it, he bore it, and he still said he loved her.

And, he didn't have to help her with anything regarding the ghosts. For all intents and purposes, and Dru aside, that was her responsibility to take care of.

A person could only take so much, and William had taken it all. He'd even refused to give into his baser instinct and sleep with her until he could have her love. Her gut told her he loved her, she had just chosen to ignore that. Sometimes, it was easier to ignore your intuition, especially in matters of the heart.

"Yes, I believe you," she said finally and watched his expression change to one of wonder and delight.

He smothered her in a kiss. "Thank you."

Wisely, it seemed, he knew not to ask if she loved him. And perhaps when she didn't feel as if she were dangling on a precipice when it came to that matter, she'd tell him too. The words now were clogged in her throat, and her heart felt as though it were going to fall out of her chest when she came close to just admitting it to herself. The feelings she held for him were at once comforting and exhilarating, and then frightening. Frightening because she was so afraid to let herself go. What if she did and it blew up in her face? Then what? Move on? Carry on to someone else? Buffy was pretty positive that when it came to William, one did not just "move on" and "find someone else". She didn't think she'd be able to do it. If she gave herself over to him, she was making herself an easy target for heartbreak for eternity. And mourn for him for an eternity, she would.

Won't you anyway, even if you don't admit it? the nagging voice in her head asked.

"Will, I..." she started and then stopped.

He froze in her arms and emotion clogged her throat. If he was expecting it, and she couldn't deliver....

"Yes?" he prompted hoarsely.

"William, I ..." she looked up at him, hoping maybe he could read it on her face and in her eyes. "I do care for you...so...much. I ... " she blew air out of her mouth, frustrated. "I suck at this."

"No, you don't--"

"I do! I am emotionally challenged and--"

"Stop saying that!"

"I sound like I belong in a WB drama or the movie of the week."

He started to laugh, smothering her in another kiss and holding her tightly to him. "Buffy, you just gave me more than I thought I'd get for a long while. Any step you take is good with me. I just need to know once in a while I'm not just the guy that you slept with. That I'm somehow more than that."

"You are," she said meekly.

"Thank you."

"Can we go now? My tailbone is sore. I need some drugs."

Laughing, William helped her in the car, gave her a peck on the lips, and off they went.

When the pair arrived at William’s home, Buffy requested a shower to “clean off the hospital yuckiness”, and William gave her one of his black t-shirts to wear as a night dress. While in the shower, William threw her clothes in the wash and pondered all that had happened that night, and then his mind reached back to all that had happened from the moment he met his Buffy.

When Buffy emerged from the shower, toweling her hair and looking out of this world sexy in his t-shirt, she found a pensive William sitting on his bed, waiting for her.

“I think the warm water helped my back,” she told him, not sure how to maneuver around the thoughtful and almost forlorn looking William. “I think I’ll just take one of those nifty pills after I brush my hair and –“

“Buffy.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

She blinked, “Huh? What?” Her heart filled with dread. Oh, God. Was this it? Was this when he told her he’d had enough? Had the idea of her somewhat submitting to him given him pause and he realized that he actually didn’t want her anymore? She clutched the towel in her hand, bracing herself, and thinking she’d just call a cab and have it take her back to the mansion—

“I’ve been so unfair to you.”

“How?” she managed to choke out.

“Thinking back, I didn’t help matters when it came to confusing sex and love.”

“Excuse me?”

He looked up at her and concern filled his expression. “What’s wrong? Are you all right?”

“I – I just – Are you done with me now?”

He was up off the bed in a flash. “What?”

“It sounded like you were . . . you know…dumping me.”

He shook his head adamantly and rushed to her, drawing her in his arms. “No, no, Buffy. Why would you ever think that?”

“You sounded like you had regrets,” she couldn’t keep the whimper out of her voice.

“I do have regrets, but not about loving you and wanting to be with you.”

She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and tears of relief dropped from her green eyes.

“You know I love you, why would you think something like that?” he demanded softly, wiping her tears away gently with the pads of his thumbs.

“It doesn’t mean that all my insecurities just vanish in a snap, Will.”

“Then we’ll just have to work on that won’t we?”

“I’m . . . it’s not gonna be easy.”

“I haven’t helped,” he muttered.

“What do you mean?” she asked, inquisitively, looking up him.

“From the start of our relationship, Buffy, I figured out that I could make you putty in my hands by touching you and kissing you.” He shook his head, disgusted with himself. “I thought if I kept right on touching you and making you want me, you’d fall for me. All the while, I never told you that what I was doing, I did out of love.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly make it easy for you in that department. You mentioned the word ‘love’ and I was ready to bolt.”

“I shouldn’t have given up on telling you. I shouldn’t have used my body to love you without letting you know what intent was behind it. You though it was all I wanted from you and you already thought it was all you could give me—“

“Will—“

“I had a hand in it, Buffy. You were a novice to love and sex and I tried to use sex to make you love me, or at least make you see that I loved you…how were you supposed to know the difference?”

“Will, I had just as much a hand in all of that as you did.”

“I didn’t help though.”

“Will, stop.”

“No, I don’t want to stop. I want you to know how sorry I am.”

“Okay,” she said on a sigh.

He led her to the bed and he held her on his lap, making sure she was comfortable. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he murmured, “And I should have told you about Dru.”

“Will, honestly—“

“No, Buffy. Part of being in a relationship is owning up to your own mistakes. I should have told you about Dru. I couldn’t have expected you to react any differently to finding out something like that. Anyone would. I never told you how I felt, and I never laid it out on the line for you. I’m sorry, Buffy. Please forgive me.”

“Will, I think we’ve both made mistakes and coupled with my own neurosis, things got out of hand.”

“Buffy, I’m going to make you a promise.”

“Okay,” she said slowly.

“Every day, I’m going to tell you how much I love you. Every single day. And in the future, when we start making love again, I’m going to tell you I love you. Every single time so there is no doubt that I do love you.”

She sighed, “Will…”

“What?”

“You’ve done a lot for me. You’ve pretty much kept me together so far by not giving up on me—“

“And I’ll continue to do that.”

“But I don’t want you to have that responsibility of keeping me together. That’s not what I want this to be about. It’d be so easy for me to fall into your arms and say ‘fix me, hold me together’, but that’s not the way I want it. You’ve taught me a lot of things, and I’ve started to discover a lot of things. You’ve given me strength, and you’ve given me hope, you’ve shown me the other side. I’ve always taken care of myself in the most fundamental ways: Roof over my head, money, clothing, food – and I’ve ignored all the other stuff. You’ve helped me to see that other stuff is just as important, if not more, than the fundamentals.
Over the past few days, with the ghosts and all, I’ve discovered this strength and determination inside me that I didn’t know I had. I want to build on that, I want to be a whole person, not a half a person and I don’t want it to be your responsibility to keep me whole and sane. I’ve been thinking that with the wealth of crap I’ve got muddled in my brain due to the programming I received from my parents, and then carried on myself, I think I need some professional help. I used to balk at such an idea, even when Dru would suggest it, but I see now that I need it. The whole talk of suicide and the fact that Dru saw it…it scared me that I could see it too. It scared me that I almost welcomed it. You have given me so much, Will. You’ve shown me how to live and I beat the crap out of it for a while there and I just…I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m so tired of taking crap and just letting it eat at me. I’m so tired of pretending to be strong when I’m really just falling apart inside and not handling anything very well at all. I don’t know, just something inside me snapped when I saw those samples shredded. I didn’t want to lie down and give up. I wanted to fight. I wanted to fight the ghosts, I wanted to fight Edina for making things so difficult, I wanted to fight my parents for what they did, I wanted to fight you for making me fall for you and face my demons, and I wanted to fight myself for taking all the good I had, and could have had, and shoving it away from me.
I’m still afraid of so much, Will, but I’m so tired of being that way. Of living that way. I want to learn to not be afraid. I don’t want to have those moments of fear grip me just because you want to have a serious chat with me. I want to feel whole, and you’ve given me that gift, Will, that desire to want to try.”

She was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “Will?”

He hugged her tight to him, burying his face in her neck. “That’s the best thing I ever heard you say, Buffy. I’ve been so worried about you—“

“I know you have. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been worried about me too. And you. I’m so sorry that I hurt you so many times. I’m sorry I made you feel used.”

He pulled back, and kissed her softly, pressing his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “Buffy…”

“Yes?”

“I’m pretty sure you told me you fell for me in there.”

She smiled, “Caught that did you?”

His eyes popped open and a wealth of love poured forth from those baby blues. “You don’t even know…you’ve given me so much too, Buffy. You took me out of a life of mediocrity and gave me something to fight for again. I went from going through the motions, to having a whole new world open up to me. Dru might have got us together, but it was us that did the rest. You believe that, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel, baby, hmmm? How’s your back?”

“It’s okay,” she yawned. “I want a pill though.”

“Druggie,” he teased.

She grinned. “Yep!”

“Buffy, one thing…it sounds like you’ve made the decision to stay…?”

She smiled, “Sure does sound like that, doesn’t it?”

Buffy couldn't sleep. Despite how tired she was, physically, mentally and emotionally, and despite how safe she felt in William's bed and in William's arms, she couldn't shut her mind off. Her mind kept drifting back to the mansion, Edina, Tara, her ghosts and the nasty she saw that night.

It made sense what William said about Edina wanting the house to herself. If she had in fact grew up in that house, if her family before her worked there, then she probably felt that she was owed that house. She most likely felt that since she put blood, sweat and tears in that place, then it was rightfully hers. And damn anyone that tried to swoop in and take it from her in any way.

So now the questions were swirling around in her mind. What had her relationship been like with Dru? Why was she now causing trouble? Did she see an opening after Dru had passed? Was she an obstacle Edina just had to get through and then the house would be hers? Who was next in line? Surely the house would go to the next descendant in Dru's husband's family. Or would it by default stay with Buffy for her to make the ultimate decision? And last but not least…was it really Edina or just an angry ghost?

Sighing, Buffy got up. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep. She needed to do something. Padding down the hall, she entered William's study, hoping that maybe the file that contained the answers she had to some of her questions at least. It passed through her mind that perhaps this was a bit of trespassing, but this did have to do with her house, so she let that though pass right on through.

She nearly let out a whoop of joy when she found the file laying smack dab in the middle of William's desk. Opening the file, she began her study.

********

William woke suddenly, jarred out of a dream, a pleasant dream too. He and Buffy had been taking a trip, touring Italy. He'd woken just when Buffy had accepted his marriage proposal while gliding along in a Gondola.

Rolling over and reaching for her, he realized then what was missing: Buffy. She was no longer in bed with him. Now where had she gone off too? Feeling slight panic rush through him, William bounded up out of bed and called for her. When he was met with silence, his panic jumped a notch. Had she decided to go back to the house and didn't want to wake him to let him know? Was she in pain? Had that thing visited her here?

"Buffy!" he shouted down the hall.

"In here, William!" her melodic voice replied.

He spied a light shining from his study. Ah, so that's where she'd gotten off to. What the hell was she doing in there at three in the morning?

Pushing the door open, he found her with a file on the desk, opened, and documents pushed up and over the fastener that held them together in the center of the file. He had to assume it was "her" file.

"Luv, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get some information on why Edina thinks that house is hers."

"And what have you come up with?"

"Don't you know?"

"Some of it, not all. I admit, I hadn't read everything in there about it. My main concern was what was going to happen to the house now, rather than what had happened to it before. What did you find?" he asked, perching himself on the desk before Buffy.

She looked up, "Well, I think your theory definitely has merit."

"Oh?"

"That house is mine.Dru's husband has a handful of relatives that could take the house, but according to some letters in here, do not want it."

"They could have changed their mind by now."

"However, say I was frightened enough out of that house, then they would most definitely still not want it. A couple of the letters in here do cite 'paranormal activity' as part of the reason they do not want it."

"And if Edina could buy you out..." he sighed. "That's a large 'if' though."

"Not if she'd been squirreling money away. Not if she was betting on driving me out so that I'd give her whatever she wanted just to get away from that house out of fear."

"What a bitch."

"My sentiments exactly." Settling back in the chair, Buffy grimaced. "Owww..." she moaned.

"Come back to bed, luv. We'll be able to think clearer tomorrow and come up with a plan better after a good nights rest." Holding out his hand and standing, he urged Buffy to her feet and kissed her quickly. "My Nancy Drew," he murmured, nuzzling her neck.

She giggled, "You could be one of the Hardy Boys that corrupt innocent Nancy."

He growled into her neck. "When you're feeling better."

"Yes, sir."

He grinned, "Never had I had the urge to swat your bum more than I do now."

Laughing, Buffy followed William back to bed, feeling that sleep was now imminent.

********

Munching on toast the next morning, Buffy thoughtfully tilted her head to the side. “Dru saw none of this?”

William shook his head, sipping his tea. “Not a lick of it. And I have to tell you, while I’ve been adding it up as you so kindly told me to, I have not seen her at all. That’s why I was calling for her that night you found out.”

Buffy took a deep breath. “What would you guys talk about anyway? I mean, was it just me?”

“Yes, all you.” He reached across the table and took her hands in his. “Buffy, she played Emma and not just because of what she saw for you, but because she really thought we’d be good together. Don’t you think she was right?”

“Yes, but…why didn’t she come and see me?”

“She tried. You blocked her out.”

“I wanted to talk with her after she died…I thought she’d come…” her eyes welled up in tears and she fought in vain to blink them away. “I feel so sorry that I didn’t get the chance to talk with her.”

“Buffy, maybe this isn’t the best time to bring it up, but do you think that since I haven’t seen Dru, and you haven’t felt your ghosts at the house, the two are directly related?”

“You mean that if Edina managed to get rid of my ghosts, she got rid of Dru too?”

“Right. Dru had been hanging out at the house with you…”

Buffy narrowed her eyes and pulled her hands free. “Oh, she’s really going down now!”

“Before you go in there with fists blazing Muhammad Ali, we have to come up with a plan. If it is Edina, we can’t let her know.”

“Right…God, I just wish I could find Tara! I know that she has some—“

The doorbell rang, interrupting Buffy’s tirade. William motioned for her to wait a minute and went to the door to answer it. Buffy began to pace, trying to come up with a way to get into Edina’s quarters and gather information without letting the woman know.

“Buffy, I believe we found what we were looking for.”
Turning, Buffy gasped when she found William leading a worried Tara into his kitchen.

Upon looking at her, Buffy demanded, “Where the hell have you been?”

“Buffy, maybe you want to give the girl a chance to speak before you start interrogating her,” William said calmly, trying to convey with his eyes to go easy on her. The girl had been shaking like a leaf on his doorstep, and if he had to wager a guess, it wasn’t the chill in the air as for once, it was pretty nice out.

Buffy took the hint and nodded, “Yeah, sorry. Do you want anything? Coffee? Tea?”

“Tea would be nice, thank you,” Tara said softly, looking absolutely lost.

“Why don’t you sit down?” William said, pulling out a chair. “Hungry at all? I’ve got some scones if you’re interested.”

“Oh, I don’t want to impose…” Tara said, eyeing the scones that William was currently pulling out of his breadbox.

“Nonsense.” Opening the box of cinnamon and raisin scones, he set them before her and after a minute, she dug in.

Settling the tea down in front of the girl that suddenly seemed so vulnerable to her from the last time she’d seen her, Buffy sat down across from her and William next to Buffy. He looped an arm across Buffy’s chair and smiled warmly at her. Finally, answers, his look seemed to say.

“I was looking for you,” Buffy told Tara as she watched the girl dig in with vigor on the scones. “Your shop is gone.” Thank you from the Department of the Obvious. Like she doesn’t know that, Buffy thought.

Tara nodded slowly, swallowing and staring at the scone in her hand. “I had to shut it down.”

“Why?”

“My…I was threatened.”

“Can I take a guess?”

Tara looked up at her, wide-eyed.

“Your aunt? Aunt Edina?” Buffy said bluntly.

Tara nodded, “Yes, yes. What has she done to you? Has it already begun?”

“Has what begun exactly?” William asked, his tone hard.

Tara swallowed and took a deep breath. “She…she wants the house Buffy. She was so mad when your sister died and didn’t leave it to her. She really thought she was going to. Her reasoning was that she and your sister had been so close, and Dru knew how hard she worked there, how our family had been there for so long…she really thought she’d struck a chord with your sister…
When she found out that you were to inherit the house and that you were coming, she hit the roof. She was hoping you wouldn’t want it. She remembered the few times you’d been to visit and how you’d hated it and the ghosts that lived there, and she was hoping you’d eventually just give it up. But then when time passed and you seemed to actually be considering staying, she started to panic, especially when it seemed that the two of you were getting closer. She…” Tara gulped, “She wanted me to come and make it worse with you and the ghosts. She didn’t want me to really help you, she wanted me to aggravate them and make relations between them and you worse. That house cleansing I offered? That was supposed to be for me to call them out and make them angry, to make the environment hostile; to make them think you meant to banish them. I knew though, I knew that wouldn’t work with them. And I… I couldn’t do that to you, Buffy. I couldn’t do that to them. She was so angry with me…” Tara’s eyes welled up in tears. “She disowned me and ordered me to get out and to never come back. She threatened me that if I ever said anything, she’d burn my shop down and see to it that I was in it when she did.”

“Oh my God,” Buffy whispered.

“Then she called Darla in. It was after the Bed and Breakfast idea. She called me, ranting and raving about it. Blaming me.” Tears started to drip from her eyes, “I didn’t realize how insane she really was until then. I mean…I knew, but I always thought there was hope for her. She was so good to me when I was growing up. When she called in Darla, I knew that you were in trouble, and that I was too. Darla threatened me as well. They bullied me out, warning me about the terrible things Darla would make happen if I didn’t go.”

“Does Edina have any power, any magical power like you on her own?”

“No,” Tara shook her head. “Anything she’s done is through Darla.”

“So, Darla is a witch then?”

“Of the worse kind. She practices black magic. What has she done, Buffy? Has she hurt you?”

Buffy relayed it all from the first night she tried to talk with the ghosts, to the night before.

Tara shook her head slowly, “It’s worse than I thought,” she whispered.

“What? What is it?” Buffy urged.

“Buffy, those ghosts were not going to leave that house. I knew that when I first entered it. They were there for the long haul, that house is their home. And your sister…she was among them.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and a “Bloody Hell” escaped William.

“What happened? What did she do? Do you know?” Buffy demanded hoarsely.

“I’m so sorry, Buffy,” Tara said sorrowfully.

“Just tell me!” Buffy yelled.

William wrapped an arm about her, “Just wait for the girl to explain pet, it’s all right,” he said soothingly, pressing a kiss to Buffy’s forehead.

“Since I know those ghosts won’t leave, the only thing I can think of Buffy, is that she trapped them in a circle.”

“Excuse me?”

“A magic circle is something that contains magic inside. It is time out of time, place out of place. It is a doorway from the mundane to the magical. It’s used to hold things inside, to keep them from escaping. Darla could have cast a circle and held the ghosts of the house, including Dru, inside of it so that they couldn’t get to you.”

“And what of this thing that attacked me?”

“Necromancy.”

“What?”

“It’s the practice of conjuring a ghost, usually evil, and then controlling them. Making them do your bidding. That’s why you saw her outside. So she could summon and direct that ghost to do what it did to you.”

”Could it be any of the ghosts in the house?” William asked.

Tara shook her head. “Those ghosts were strong and in no way evil. No matter what power Darla held and taught my aunt, they wouldn’t have turned against Buffy easily. I could feel that when I first entered the house. That ghost she came across last night was evil and it was meant to do her harm.”

“My God,” William muttered and drew Buffy closer to him.

“How are you sure about this?” Buffy questioned.

“Because it’s Darla’s specialty. She’s been studying Necromancy for years, and when she learned of my ghosts in my shop, she offered to contain them for me. I think she likes the idea of creating a Dante like existence for spirits. She finds sport in watching them be contained in one area and her having the key to expel them if she so wishes. It explains so much as to why you couldn’t feel them so suddenly. Those ghosts in that house would have done away with that evil thing. They would have forced it out and Darla could sense that loyalty they felt to you and to Dru. And Dru, I have no doubt was most likely their leader.”

“And that explains why I haven’t seen her,” William told Buffy. “If she’s been contained, she hasn’t been able to come see me.”

“But wouldn’t they have gotten wind of what was happening and warned me before Darla could do anything? I mean if you were there per Edina…don’t the walls have ears?”

Tara shook her head. “My aunt did not want the trouble of them in her quarters. I set up a circle to keep them out for her.”

Buffy’s head was spinning. Burying her face in her hands, she took a deep, calming breath.

“I’m so sorry, Buffy. I wanted to tell you…I wanted to so badly. I was afraid if I said anything they’d hurt me before I could get to you, and then do you in worse,” Tara apologized profusely. “I was going to just stay away, but I had to come and tell you. I tracked Mr. Giles down in the hopes I could get to you.”

“Too bad this couldn’t have come out sooner,” William said sternly.

“I can help you, Buffy. I can help you fight her,” Tara said.

“How?” Buffy asked, narrowing her eyes.

“By getting to the house and releasing your ghosts.”

“How do I know you’re not still working for her?” Buffy demanded.

“Do you think I would have shut down my shop, my livelihood, if I were? She’s crazy, Buffy, and I don’t blame you for not trusting me, but I honestly did try and help you before. My intent at first wasn’t there, it was my loyalty to my aunt that came first, but…I just can’t do evil like that. It’s not in my nature,” Tara explained.

“Pet,” William said softly. “I think she’s legit here. Look at all she’s told us. It makes sense. The pieces fit. Plus, even if we didn’t take her help, we’ve got enough to work with to find someone that can help up or at least research and do it ourselves.”

Buffy stared at Tara for a long time and then nodded. “Fine. Tell me how to take down that circle and release my ghosts.”

Tara heaved a deep breath, “Well, first, it’s a matter of finding out where she has them contained. My guess is they’re in an empty room, her quarters, or the basement.”

“I have a basement?” Buffy asked, surprised.

Tara grinned, “I’m guessing you do. I’m afraid I don’t know too much about the layout, but it is conceivable.”

Buffy shook her head in wonder. “I have so much to learn.”

William chuckled. “Give it time, pet. You will.”

“So,” Buffy continued. “How do we go about finding where they are? Is it just a matter of scouring the house?”

“I can help you with that. We could do it that way, or I could use my ‘witchy’ skills to find them,” Tara said, smiling.

“Does that entail feeling them out?” Buffy inquired curiously, leaning forward slightly.

“Right. Stretching out your feelers so to speak.”

“So, would that be the same as how I was able to feel them before, and then not feel them suddenly? By ‘stretching out my feelers’ is that just another way of saying that I concentrate really hard on sensing them?”

“Exactly. It’s all about sensing the energy and the shifts of energy in the air around you. By focusing your intent, you’ll be able to feel when they’re close,” Tara told her.

“My girl is so brilliant,” William observed, grinning.

“Oh, I’m definitely coming with you,” Buffy said enthusiastically. “It’s just a matter now of how to get Edina out of that house long enough for us to do this.”

“I vote for not a very detailed plan,” William suggested. “If you make it too intricate, she’ll catch on and suspect. I say you make it as simple as asking her to go out and get something…like groceries. Tell her you’re planning on having a dinner party and there are certain items you need that you only trust her with. In that you’re playing to her inflated ego that only she can do this right, not to mention her feelings of importance and superiority. But you just have to make it clear to her that only she has to do it because you only trust her.”

“I’m going to have to apologize for yelling at her last night,” Buffy mused.

“But you can’t go over the top and suck up to her either,” Tara joined in. “Otherwise, she’ll be suspicious. Maybe throw in a mention of getting more samples or having a decorator come over and would she like to be part of it? That way she’ll know you’re still planning on something for the house, and she’ll just think you’re incredibly dumb for continuing on with the plan in light of what she did to you.”

“She can’t control that ghost without being there, right?” Buffy asked, worried.

“No, she can’t. That ghost can do nothing without her direct direction. They need to be close in order to communicate.”

Buffy sighed, “All right. I want to do this soon. Like, now.”

“How about you let me gather some supplies first?” Tara suggested. “I can get some things in order to protect us and help us do this.”

“May I be part of that?” Buffy asked. “I want to learn how to do some of this so I can protect myself if need be,” she looked to William, “As well as others.”

William smiled. “Perhaps it’s something we can all do together?”

Buffy blushed and Tara readily agreed.

“Where are you staying?” Buffy asked suddenly.

“I’m staying with a friend a few towns over.”

“How are you doing, Tara? I mean…despite everything?” Buffy asked, seeing the sorrow just behind the witch’s eyes.

“It’s been tough, I won’t lie,” Tara admitted. “My aunt is going crazy, my cousin is encouraging it, my mother is sick, I’ve lost my shop, and I took a hit because of my sudden closing of it.”

“I want to help,” Buffy told her.

Tara looked at her, stunned. “What?”

“You’re helping me, I want to help you.”

“Buffy, really, you don’t have to do that. You don’t even know me—“

“I know you’re helping me free my ghosts, one of them being my sister. I know you’re going against your aunt to do it.”

“There are right ways to do things, and then there are wrong ways. She is going about it in all the wrong ways,” Tara explained.

“I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible.”

“Kitten,” William interjected, “You’re not.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Buffy murmured.

Tara stood. “I am going to gather materials and I’ll be by tomorrow.”

Buffy and William stood as well and Buffy held out her hand. Tara took it and Buffy gave it a firm shake, smiling. “We strike tomorrow.”

********

“I tell you how much I love you today?” William asked Buffy once Tara had left.

Buffy turned to him, pressing her back against the door. She smiled. “No.”

He held out his hand and she took it, allowing him to pull her into the circle of his arms. He kissed her soundly. “I do,” he whispered, “Love you so much.”

“What did I do?”

“You’re just…you. You have such a big heart, so generous and kind.”

“I guess I am sort of like Dru after all, huh?”

“But still my Buffy.”

“Of course.” And she hugged him, feeling a rush of sadness rush through her. “I miss her.”

William rubbed her back, “I know, baby.”

“I wish . . . I wish I hadn’t shut her out.” Her voice was clogged with tears, picturing Dru’s face in her mind; she felt the ache of the loss of her beloved sister.

“She understands, Buffy. She didn’t hold it against you. Though, she did say you were stubborn.”

Buffy laughed a wobbly laugh of trying to hold back tears.

“Oh. This might help. Do you remember the first night you were there and you went down to the kitchen to get something to eat, and the lights came on as you went down there?”

Buffy pulled back and looked up at him. “How did you know about that?”

He smiled. “Dru, of course. That was her. She was there with you, Buffy.”

Buffy nodded and buried her face in William’s chest. “She never could relinquish much control over taking care of me, not even in death.”

“Well, now it’s my job to take care of you…I have a feeling you’ll see her again after this is all over.”

“I hope so. I just want to tell her how much I love her and tell her how sorry I am for being so stubborn…”

“Buffy, she knows you love her.”

“I know, but it would still make me feel better to tell her that.”

“I gotta admit…I’m worried about tomorrow, Buffy.”

“Which part?”

“Edina.”

“Will, you don’t have to do this—“

He pulled back and looked at her imploringly. “Yeah, right. You think I’m gonna let you do this alone? Buffy, I don’t care what she does to me; I’m worried about what she’ll do to you.”

“She won’t lay a hand on me,” Buffy said, dismissing the notion.

“And if that thing does?”

“I’ll…I’ll kick its ass; its dead ass,” she giggled. “Besides, you’re going to jinx us with all this talk. We have a plan for her to leave the house, remember?”

“Yeah,” William drawled, “And you know what they say about the best laid plans?”

“Ssshhh,” she pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him. “How about we talk about something else?”

“Like?”

She grinned wickedly. “Like ‘laid’ of another sort.”

William grinned. “You’re a minx, you know that?”

Buffy batted her eyelashes and smiled up at him innocently. “Am I?”

“How’s your back?”

She gave him an odd look, “It’s fine. At least, it doesn’t hurt so much. I’m a fast healer.”

“Then…” He swatted her bum and grinned devilishly, “Yes, you are a minx.”

“What can I say?” she shrugged, “You unleashed a beast.”

“I’ll give you beast,” William growled and nipped at her neck.

Giggling, she wrapped her arms around him, enjoying the sensations he created, and most importantly, enjoying this blessed feeling of feeling loved and starting to let herself go; breaking the bonds of her carefully constructed and ‘safe’ world. While she knew that she still had a lot to work through and work on, at least she was at the beginning stages and greeting the new challenge with a smile instead of running and cowering in fear.

They just had to get through the following day first.

“Let me take you out,” William said huskily, grinding his erection against her. “Let’s go out tonight and forget about tomorrow at least for a little while.”

Boldly, Buffy slunk a hand between them and cupped his erection through his pants. “Think you can wait until later?”

He groaned, dropping his head onto her shoulder. “What are you doing to me?”

“Driving you wild. Is it working?”

He looked up at her, lustfully, hungrily, and kissed her passionately, knocking the wind out of her. He ground his erection into her palm again. “What do you think?”

“Do you want me to take care of that for you?” she asked impishly.

“No!” he said forcefully and stepped back.

“Will?”

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head, “I want to do this right. I want to take you out first.”

“Okay,” she said slowly.

“Pet, I just…We just got back on the right track and I want to do things right by you for once. I want to take you out, show my girl a good time and then come home and make love to you all right and proper.”

Buffy laughed, “Will, I don’t want you to make love to me all ‘right and proper.’ That sounds dreadfully boring.”

William chuckled, “All right, we’ll come back and have ourselves a bit of the rough and tumble. That work better?”

She smiled brilliantly, “Much.” She frowned, “Except, all I have to wear is what I have on now.”

“Then we’ll go out and I’ll buy you something.”

“Will, no, I’m perfectly capable of buying my own clothes.”

“Pet, can you please just let me spoil you?”

She sighed, “Okay.”

“And hey, while we’re out, maybe we could pop in and see Giles about that job?”

She grinned. “Sneaky.”

“I’m always trying.”

“Well, I don’t want to do that.”

“Oh?”

“I kind of want to see about this Bed and Breakfast thing. I think I’ve veered off in a whole new direction.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, I think I like the idea of taking control and being my own boss.”

“You? Take control?” William said teasingly, “Never.”

Buffy giggled. “Maybe I could even get my ghosts to do tricks for me! How much fun would that be for the guests?”

“You know what I like?”

“What’s that?”

“How they’re your ghosts now.”

Buffy grinned sheepishly. “I guess when push came to shove…you know, it’s like when someone outside your family makes fun of them. I could say all I wanted about Dru, but no one else was allowed to. My parents though,” she grinned, “They’re fair game.”

“That works out well then since I have nothing nice to say about them.”

“So,” Buffy said, slapping her hands together and rubbing them together conspiratorially. “Where we going?”

********

The one thing William wanted to thank Dru for was bringing Buffy into his life. He couldn’t remember a time when he was as happy as he was now. And seeing her come out of her shell was a pleasure for him beyond anything else. She reminded him of a seed that just needed some tending, some love, and encouragement to grow. She was blossoming before his very eyes, and she was glorious to watch.

They’d spent the better part of the day out and about, hands linked. They’d gone shopping, had lunch out, and then just walked around town, talking.

“Where have you been all my life?” William asked over dessert later that night as he fed Buffy the rich chocolate cheesecake they were sharing. He was taking great delight in feeding her; it was conjuring up all sorts of fantasies involving this very activity.

Accepting the morsel in her mouth, she closed her mouth around the fork and slid her mouth back sensually. He was going to give the restaurant a show if she wasn’t careful. Looking up and slightly narrowing her eyes thoughtfully, she replied after swallowing, “Under a rock.”

He barked out a laugh.

“No, seriously. I feel like that’s where I was anyway. Just… in the dark. I guess Dru knew what she was doing when she got me out here.”

“Buffy, did you have any fantasies? Anything you wanted to do?”

“Yeah, I did. All the time. I think I mainly lived in my head.”

“Can you share?”

“Well, a lot of what we’ve done, William. Just… having someone to care for me and love me, unconditionally. That was all I wanted, really. Is that sad?”

“No, not at all. I reckon it was what was most lacking, so that’s what you dreamt of the most.”

“What about you?” she asked, returning the favor by feeding him the rich dessert. “Fantasies? Daydreams?”

“After Fred died, I spent most of my time just being miserable and allowing work to swallow me so I didn’t have to think about it. After time passed, I just dreamt of having a wife, a family of my own. I didn’t want to be alone, but I was alone. You must have some new fantasies by now.”

“Yeah, to see Italy.”

“That’s it?”

“And France. I want to see more of the world.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

“What about you, Will? Any new fantasies?”

“Well, I have a few right now that involve your naked body and chocolate cheesecake.”

“So, why don’t we pay the bill and get out of here? I can supply the naked body at least.”

“You’re an idea woman, I like that,” he said smiling broadly and raised his hand, motioning for the check, unable to take his eyes off his beautiful Buffy.

********

William found he was riddled with nerves by the time they’d made it to his house. Buffy seemed to sense it in him when she wrapped herself around him as soon as they entered his bedroom. “What is it?” she asked, looking up at him, concerned.

“I just…Buffy, so much has happened to us and I’m just…you know that this is making love right? You know that I can’t do this unless it’s making love.”

She nodded, “I know, William.”

“And it’s not that I don’t want you, Buffy. I want you so much…” he pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “I want all of you, not just this.”

“I know, William. I want more too.”

“How much?” he asked hoarsely. “How much do you want?”

“Everything,” she whispered.

“Can you say it, Buffy? Can you say it yet? If you can’t, it’s okay—“

“I – I can. I – I love you, William.”

His eyes immediately welled up in tears. “God, I feel like a bloody ponce…” he muttered, “Can you just…just say it again?” he asked and looked in her eyes.

“I love you, William.”

Crushing her against him, he kissed her hard, pouring all of him and what he felt for her in that kiss. He felt overcome with love for her, from her, felt he needed to be inside her and could not wait; his want of her was desperate. Walking her backwards to the bed, he opted to take the fall so as not to hurt her back (despite her claims she felt fine) and allowed her to fall on top of him. Clothes were being flung off in a flurry of arms and legs, and they rolled all over the bed in their haste.

“I had planned to take this slow, love you thoroughly,” William muttered as he teased her folds with his finger.

She arched her back, lifting her hips to meet his questing finger, wanting Spike inside her now. Grasping his member, she stroked him and brought him closer to her. “William, we have all night…and you always love me thoroughly. I want you inside me now, please.”

Taking his finger out, he braced himself on his hands and slid inside her welcoming heat, enjoying the feel of her walls sucking him in, welcoming him. “Yes,” he hissed, “Feel so good…so tight and wet and hot…”

“Mmmm,” she moaned and reached up, kissing him.

“Am I hurting you at all?” he murmured his question, leaning down to suckle a breast in his mouth.

“No, no…feels so good… Missed having you inside me.”

“I know what you mean,” he sighed, feeling the desire to move faster and harder. And just as the feeling came, she encouraged him to do so, but curving her hands around his bottom and pulling him deeper inside her.

“Oh, God, William…” she breathed.

“I love you, Buffy. I love you so much…” he moaned into her neck, palming her breasts in his hands.

“I love you, too,” she whispered, nipping at his earlobe.

He groaned, hearing those words from her lovely lips brought him even closer to the edge. “Say it again, please,” he begged.

“I love you, William.”

“Oh, God.” He was pounding into her now, flicking her clit with his thumb, wanting her with him when he came – and it was soon.

When he felt her pussy clenching around him, he exploded inside her and watched with immeasurable ecstasy as her eyes fluttered up in her head and she called his name, falling apart around him.

Their sweat slickened bodies molded together as William rolled them onto their side, not leaving the haven of her warmth just yet. He kissed her languorously, playing hide and seek with her tongue, covering every inch of the cavern of her mouth.

“Still all right, baby?” he murmured, rubbing her back.

She nodded, snuggling into him. “Perfect. You?”

“Perfect.”

“Can we just lay here for a bit before you ravage me again?” she asked slightly sleepy.

He grinned, “Before I ravage you? What about you? I think it was fifty-fifty here pet.”

She smiled up at him, “I’ll show you ravaging!”

Washing the breakfast dishes, William expressed once more his concern over their impeding infiltration of the house.

“Stop worrying so much,” Buffy reprimanded him.

“That’s rich coming from you,” he retorted.

She laughed, “I know, right? It’s just that if you worry, I’ll start to worry, and if I start to worry I’ll have performance anxiety and I really want to be able to do this, Will.”

“I know, I just…” He sighed, shut off the water and turned to her; taking the dishes she was drying out of her hands and placing them on the counter. Taking her hands in his, he said, “Buffy, all your life you’ve had Dru worrying about you. Well, now I worry about you and I can’t just shut that off with a word from you. It’s just the way it is, sweetheart. You’re my girl and the thought of anything happening to you is frightening to me. When I saw you flying through the air the other night, I just about had a heart attack.”

Leaning up, Buffy kissed him sweetly, “I know, Will, but it’s going to be all right. This has to be done. And you can’t expect to protect me from everything.”

“I can try.”

“You can, but you’ll fail. Just the way it is. Look. We’re gonna go in there, we’re gonna get Edina out, we’re gonna free my ghosts, and fight her and that thing with everything we’ve got. I have faith in this, in us, and I will protect you with everything I have too, okay?”

He pressed his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

She smiled, “I love you too.”

A knock on the door signaled them that that as far as the snogging session was going to take them, and at the same time they said “Tara.”

“Let the games begin,” Buffy muttered.

********

“So, basically,” Tara explained, “Last night, what I did was take these two dolls and wrap them up with ribbon while chanting ‘I bind you from doing harm to me and others’, over and over until the dolls were covered head to toe with ribbon. Then I placed them in this box. There’s a crossroads on the way to your house, we’ll bury them there. That’s where binding spells and protection spells have the most power.”

Buffy peered in at the dolls that were bound from head to toe in ribbon and thought ‘Cool.’ Rubbing her hands together, she asked, “Okay, so what else can we do?”

“I have three pentacles that have been blessed by yours truly to serve as protective amulets, three bells to help in banishing the nasty Edina banished, and a chant to release the ghosts from their binding. Do you remember the protection chant I taught you?”

“Yes. Within, without, make a circle all around and all about. So mote it be,” Buffy said.

Tara smiled. “Excellent. Did you get that William?”

“Got it,” William said and tapped his head.

“Okay, and the chant for releasing the ghosts, I wrote down. It’s in Latin. I think we should practice it so that when we say it together at the circle.” She handed out the slips of paper the chant was written on. “Ready?”

William and Buffy nodded, the three took a collective deep breath and began: “Nos unbind vos ex vestri carcer , solvo vos quod paro vos solvo.” (We unbind you from your prison, release you and set you free)

“So, what we’ll do is stand around the circle they are contained in and chant this, imagining the circle they are contained in dissipating completely,” Tara explained. “We’ll use the protection chant before we go in and while we’re there when we feel unsafe. When we’ve freed the ghosts, we’ll explain to them that the bells are to banish the nasty, not them. And we must, must, must wear our pentacles. That will give it all an extra kick,” Tara finished, handing them the silver pentacles on silver chains.

Buffy felt a surge of energy rush through her hand as soon as Tara placed it in her palm. “Whoa,” she murmured.

Tara looked at her curiously, “You feel that?”

Buffy looked up and nodded. “Yeah, a surge of energy right up my arm.” She smiled broadly. “Very cool.”

Tara grinned, “Sounds like you might be more of a witch than you realize, Buffy. Most who start out in the Craft have to learn to sense energy like that, and very few sense it right off the bat.”

“Well…we’ll talk more about that later,” Buffy said, lightly. “But let’s just say it is something I’m wildly interested in learning more about.”

Tara looked quite pleased and William cleared his throat. “Uh, ladies? Could we maybe get going now? I’m really anxious to get this over with.”

Buffy looked at Tara whilst patting William on the back. “He’s a little nervous.”

Tara took a deep breath, “I understand how you feel, William. I’m nervous myself.”

“Come on now, none of that,” Buffy admonished. “I am feeling uncharacteristically positive and I’d like to think that’s a good sign. Take some of my positive energy if you must, but don’t rain on my parade completely here. I want my ghosts free, and I want the chance to love that house the way Dru did. So, let’s get this show on the road and kick some ass.”

William looked at Tara, smiling. “You heard my girl. Let’s go kick some ass.”

********

It was when they pulled into the driveway after digging a hole at the crossroads Tara spoke of, and buried the box with the dolls representing Darla and Edina, that Buffy started to get nervous. It was Showtime.

She started chanting the protection chant under her breath as they slowly drove down the long driveway, and soon William, and Tara who was now on the floor in the backseat, started chanting it with her. It was amazing to her; she could feel the bursts of energy flowing around them, and inside her. It was exhilarating, exciting, and something definitely worth exploring later on.

The car came to a halt and she looked over at William who smiled bravely, yet nervously. “Ready, pet?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Cold feet now?”

Perish the thought. “Nope. I’m ready.” And she jumped out of the car, making sure her pentacle was tucked safely under her shirt so Edina wouldn’t see it.

William took a minute telling Tara they’d come for her after Edina was gone, and then he came round the car and took Buffy’s hand. “Ready, luv?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I’m right by your side, luv. I won’t leave you.”

“I know you won’t, William, I know you won’t.”

Entering the house, Buffy took a deep breath just as Edina came round the corner. “Hello, Miss. I wasn’t aware you were to be out last night with Mr. Giles.”

Buffy feigned a smile, “Sorry bout that.”

“Everything all right?” Edina asked curiously, eyeing her up and down.

“Perfect,” Buffy chirped and squeezed the hell out of William’s hand. “As a matter of fact…care to do me a favor? I need it done now and Edina…I only trust you to do it.”

Edina seemed stunned and secretly pleased. “Me? You only trust me?”

“Yep, just you. I know how…thorough you are,” Buffy told her, continuing to smile.

“And what is it you need?”

“Some groceries, some new decorations for the dining room table. I know you are more familiar with that sort of thing. I was thinking of some fall-ish themes.”

“Well, Miss, you must know what we have and I am sure that there are decorative fall—“

“I want new ones, and I want you to be in charge of doing it as if it were….you know, your dining room.”

Edina stood straighter and said haughtily, whilst smoothing her hair back that was tightly pulled back in a bun. “I can take care of that.”

“Great!” Buffy said enthusiastically. “Let me just make a quick list of items I need at the market…”

Once the list was complete, and Edina was on her way, Buffy let out a breath of relief. “Okay, that was actually pretty easy.”

“I had to keep myself in check, pet. When she was eyeing you like that asking if you were all right,” William cracked his neck, clenching his jaw tightly. “I’ve never hit a woman before…”

“I know what you mean. I wanted to scream at her that she knew exactly how I was…what a bitch.”

“All right,” William went to the window and peered out. “She’s gone.”

“Good, let’s get Tara.”

Minutes later, the three were congregated in the foyer. Once the door was locked in place, Tara started to lead them down to Edina’s quarters.

A chill came over Buffy as they weaved through the darkened corridors – something was afoot in these quarters, most definitely.

By the time they reached Edina’s door, Buffy halted. She felt a chill go up her spine, she almost felt as though someone’s cold fingertips lay on the back of her neck.

Tara put her handle on the door, with William right behind her, and Buffy’s eyes were led to a small door that almost blended fully into the wall down at the end of the hall. Buffy went forwards, feeling a pull toward it.

“Buffy, luv, what are you doing?” William whispered.

“There’s a door here…” Buffy murmured, and slid the lock, that was colored the same as the wall, free. It opened with a squeak.

She suddenly felt like Alice in Wonderland, about to go down the rabbit hole, taking herself on yet another journey. Buffy gulped, looking down what appeared to be a staircase that was encased in blackness.

She started to reach into the blackness to find a light when William grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

She looked up at him, pushing hair from her face, “I was looking for a light, William,” she replied, annoyed.

“Don’t go sticking your hands in places that you’re not sure of.”

“William, I’m just going to feel along the wall and see –“

“I’ll do it,” he said and started for the door.”

“Wait,” Tara jumped in. “I’ve got a flashlight.”

It was a mini-flashlight that was attached to her key chain, but it would do. Shining the small light into the dark recesses, Tara found a light on the side of the wall and flicked it on. Dim light appeared down the stairs.

“You sure you want to go down there?” Tara asked Buffy.

Buffy nodded, “I think they’re down there.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t…not for sure, but I felt a pull towards this door. I figure I might as well follow that…right?”

Tara bit her lip, “Good a reason as any.”

“Wait,” William said, halting them. “’Good a reason as any’? That’s not a convincing enough argument for me.”

“Okay, how about the ghosts are more likely going to be in a place that is not easy to get to, and probably just a bit creepy, since Edina is betting on the fact that I’m not going to go looking in strange rooms in this house. Especially places like this where the door just about blends into the wall,” Buffy reasoned. “Does that work for you?”

“No need to get cheeky, luv.”

“Sorry, just want to get down there now,” and she lurched forward to do just that. She was met with cobwebs in her face and she batted them away, gritting her teeth.

William pulled her back and shoved her behind him.

“Will, honestly--”she started.

“Just humor me, all right Buffy?” he muttered and started forward, batting the webs away, helpfully clearing the path down the worn, rickety wooden steps. The plastered walls gave way to cold, gray stone and Buffy sneezed; it was quite dusty and damp, whatever was down there.

Reaching the bottom of the steps, the three of them looked around, not moving. It was a wide cellar and it too appeared to have nooks, crannies and long hallways. Bulbs lit the way down the corridors that veered off into what they figured were more hallways and possibly rooms. The lights were greatly spaced, shedding minimal light, making the whole cellar give off a creepy feeling. Currently, in the ‘room’ they were standing in, it appeared to have been a wine cellar at one point as there were empty crates and wine tiers stacked from the floor almost to the ceiling.

“Buffy, why don’t you tell us where to go,” Tara suggested.

“I—I don’t know,” Buffy stammered.

“Come on, you can do it. You got us this far.”

“Can you feel them?”

“Yes, tell us where to go.”

Closing her eyes, Buffy moved forward away from Tara and William and sent out her feelers. She felt the pull to her left and she turned her head in that direction. “Down there,” she said simply. The idea hit her then – her sister was down there. She started to run, she couldn’t help it, the thought of her sister in some kind of prison and not being able to get to her made Buffy run in search of her. “I’m coming, Dru,” she murmured as she ran, heedless of William and Tara calling after her. Not even paying attention to the empty rooms she passed on her way. She just knew she’d be led to the right place, and that’s when she’d stop.

She turned down a hallway, weaved down another, turned into another and then stopped abruptly. “Whoa,” she breathed, barely registering William and Tara coming up behind her.

“Whoa,” Tara murmured.

“My God,” said William.

Before them, in what appeared to be a giant vortex were the ghosts. They were in a gigantic circle with etchings in white and black all around the circle, in what appeared to be chalk. The circle appeared to be like a white and purple tube reaching up to the ceiling. Inside, faces and bodies floated around, moaning and wailing, banging on the ‘tube’ they were encased in. Dru’s face floated before them suddenly, and Buffy jumped forward, tears in her eyes. “Dru!” she yelled and jutted her hand out, only to not be able to penetrate the vortex they were encased in.

“Buffy,” Dru was heard, sounding so far away, as if she were underwater.

Buffy couldn’t hold back the tears. Tears cascaded unchecked down her cheeks while she made her vow, “I will get you out Dru. I promise. I won’t leave you in there.”

“Oh, you think so do you?”

Spinning around, Tara, William and Buffy found themselves face to face with Edina, and who could only be Darla.

Buffy lunged. “You set my sister free!” she shouted at them.

“I don’t think so,” Edina said darkly.

Buffy felt a gigantic hand wrapped around her stomach and lift her off the ground. Pressing her hands around her belly, she felt very much as though she were wrapped in King Kong’s grasp. She pulled and pounded on the invisible force that held her, and to no avail.

“Let her go, you goddammed bitch!” William shouted.

“Okay,” Edina shrugged.

Tara and William watched helplessly, and in horror, as Buffy was flung like rag doll toward a nearby wall.

“Stop!” Tara shouted and Buffy froze in mid air just before she hit the wall.

Buffy looked down wide-eyed and gulped. “Get me down?”

“Descend… slowly,” Tara ordered and Buffy floated to the ground with the greatest of ease.

William ran to her and gathered her in his arms. “All right, luv?”

Buffy nodded, “Fine…just tweeked out a bit.” Pulling out of William’s arms, she marched forward. “What do you want?” she demanded of Edina and Darla.

“Haven’t you figured that out already, you ungrateful bitch,” Edina sneered.

“You’re not getting the house. It was never yours. And, it never will be!”

“Big words,” the buxom blond said next to her with a smirk. “Auntie, why don’t you have Pritchard take care of her now?”

Glaring at them both, Edina said in a deep booming voice. “Destroy them Pritchard!”

It was at that moment that Buffy and Tara started the protection chant. Buffy hit William on the arm and he started to too.

“You bitch,” Darla spat at Tara, marching up to her, “You think you can fight us? Don’t you know how we got here? I felt your little binding spell last night. You’re so predictable Tara, that’s your problem, you always have been predictable. We dug up that damn box – you think I wouldn’t figure out where you’d bury it too?”

While this was happening, and Edina was frantically trying to command Pritchard the Ghost, who was making himself known as a gigantic centaur before them, black, and as tall as the room, stomping it’s hooves and heaving black smoke from its nostrils that flared as it stomped, Buffy dropped back toward the circle that contained her ghosts and her sister.

Dru was staring at her, seeming to sense what she was about to do, and nodded her encouragement. Staring at Dru, Buffy started the chant to release the ghosts. “Nos unbind vos ex vestri carcer , solvo vos quod paro vos solvo.” She placed her hand over the vortex that contained the trapped ghosts and watched in amazement as a hole, like a tear started to form. Dru was smiling brilliantly at her, nodding her head and Buffy continued on, the power surging through her, starting at her feet and surging up, up, up to encompass her entire body.

A bloodcurdling scream came through the room, coming from Edina, Buffy noted as she turned her head to see and she pointed at her, sending Pritchard the Beast after her. When the Beast started coming, Tara screamed, “Buffy!” and started the chant for releasing the ghosts. Understanding dawned immediately, and Buffy started doing the protection chant. William, seeing Pritchard, was by her side in an instant, taking her hand and pulling her to his side. Buffy looked at William and said quickly, “Keep chanting, and do not stop! Do not let go of my hand.” And she started the release chant while William continued the protection chant, holding onto her tightly.

Pritchard stomped and snorted, railed and wailed and to no avail. By holding her hand, William was protecting her. When Edina pointed at Tara, Tara bolted over to William and Buffy, and took William’s other hand.

Darla and Edina were screaming and pointing – and started to argue amidst the chanting, the stomping and nostril flaring.

Buffy couldn’t help but smile, thinking Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Yet she spoke too soon. With a mighty roar from Pritchard, the three were separated, sailing through the air. Buffy landed with a thump that she was sure was not helping her tail bone at all.

But then, it didn’t matter. The obstacles a second later because the vortex the ghosts were held in burst, blanketing the room in a myriad of colors, the sound of a mini-explosion reverberating in the room and echoing through the basement. Buffy shut her eyes from the brightness and when she opened them, the room was in chaos. Ghosts – hers – were spinning the room, moving Pritchard, Edina and Darla into the circle. Once Pritchard met the circle, he was obliterated and black particles of what seemed like dust were flung out and scattered until there was just…nothing. Tara was there, in the midst of all that, chanting something that sounded like Latin that Buffy could hardly make out. Edina and Darla were screaming at her, and Tara just continued on.

“Buffy.”

Looking up, she found William standing before her with a cut on his forehead and blood seeping out. “Luv, are you all right?”

She nodded and jumped up, touching the cut gently. “Are you?”

“I’m fine, how’s your back?”

“It’s…all right, I—“

“Buffy.”

Looking over William’s shoulder, Buffy’s eyes welled up in tears. Dru. Lunging at her, she met dead air and started to cry in frustration.

“It’s all right, darling,” Dru said. “Even if you can’t touch me, I’m still here.”

“Will you stay? Will you stay with me, here?”

Dru smiled sadly, “For as long as I can…I hear there are plans for me.”

“I need you, Dru, I need you with me,” Buffy told her tearfully.

“You have me anytime you need me, even if I was sent away. Besides,” her sister said grinning broadly and nodding towards William. “You have William now.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to say goodbye.”

“I know how stubborn you are…and I know you love me little sister.”

“What is going on?” Buffy asked, watching Tara contain Darla and Edina, both of who were wailing in misery.

“She’s trapping them in that circle and stripping their power. They will have nothing left after she is done.”

Buffy and William looked on in fascination while Tara seemed to be doing the real live version of the binding spell. Blue and white chunks of light were repeatedly wrapped round and round Edina and Darla and just as soon as they were wrapped like mummies, the light disappeared inside them. Soon, they were mute, sinking to the ground as if in a trance and slumping onto the cool ground, asleep.

Tara’s eyes rolled up in her head and she fell to her knees. Buffy and William went to her, Buffy letting Tara’s head fall into her lap.

“She’s exhausted,” Dru murmured.

“How did you know what she was doing, Dru?” William asked.

“Just because I’m a ghost, doesn’t mean I can’t have my secrets,” Dru teased.

“Dru,” William said warningly.

“Let’s just say I know a little something about magic,” Dru smiled.

“I’m learning I do too,” Buffy commented.

“We are cut from the same cloth, sister.”

“What’s going to happen to them when they wake up? William asked.

“Most likely,” Tara murmured, opening her eyes slowly, “They will have no memory of what happened.”

“How far back will their memory be wiped?” Buffy questioned, helping the girl sit up.

“As far back as when this all started,” Tara said. “They’ll only have vague memories of it, but they’ll feel as though they were dreams. Hopefully, they’ll have experienced enough trauma from all this to not try again, and if they do, they will not be able to do a thing. Ever.”

“I thought after she found that box, we were done for. I didn’t think anything we had would be able to stop them,” Buffy admitted.

”Oh ye of little faith,” Dru tsked.

“Don’t you know good always prevails?” Tara teased. “The two of them could not go against the three of us.”

Looking up, Buffy found her ghosts – all twelve of them, lined up. Men and women in various garbs, hinting at the different time periods they came from. They smiled at her, waved and dissipated.

“Thank you!” Buffy called to them. She looked up at Dru. “Did they hear me?”

Dru smiled, “They know, darling, they know. They thank you too.”

“Maybe we should get Dumb and Dumber over here upstairs to further reinforce that this could have all been just a nasty dream?” William suggested.

“Good idea…hey…what happened to Pritchard?” Buffy asked.

“He has been released. Hopefully to find peace now,” Tara explained. “He wasn’t really sent anywhere specific, but he’s most definitely gone. Ghosts don’t like to be controlled at all, so trust me, he’s gone.”

“Hey Dru,” Buffy began, “Sure our last name isn’t, say, Addams by any chance?”