Feedback: PLEASE? I only get at the most 4 or 5 feedbacks and I'm just wondering if I should even keep writing. So PLEASE let me know...make me a happy Vamps? :)




"Ooooooh oh fuck yes....Oh god...so damned good. Oh god...Now...I'm going to cum NOWWWWWWWW...."Buffy Summers wailed and shook as her body convulsed in orgasm around the hard cock filling her. Angel O'Reilly panted and continued drilling into her his tightening balls slapping against her ass. The entire car shook and shimmied as he pushed himself into her juicy quim again and again. "Fuck Buffy.......you're so damned..........fuck.....aaah...tight...aahh fuckyes....gonna........OHFUCK...gonna fillyou up baby........HEREITCOMES............."His voice howled into the darkened night of Lookout point as he unloaded his cum into her still clenching pussy, thrusting again and again into her as they both moaned and quivered their skin slick with persperation, moans and gasps of contentment filling the air.

"FUCKING WHORE!!!!!" The door of the Mustang was suddenly wrenched open violently and Spike Devereaux reached in and drug his half naked cousin out into the cool air leaving Angel kneeling in the backseat his wet prick dangling out of his opened jeans his eyes wide with shocked disbelief.

Shoving Buffy against the side of the car angrily Spike held her there as he yanked both sides of her shirt closed over her opened bra and heaving breasts and smoothed her skirt down over her hips, "Why Spike?" Buffy screamed at him starting to pound on his arms in an attempt to get away from him. "WHY?" She screeched her anger overpowering the shock of fear she had felt intially at his livid face.

Reaching back into the car, Spike grabbed her stray panties and shoved them into his jeans pocket. Turning his furious gaze on Angel he ground out," Leave NOW...and don't EVER come looking for her again or I promise you, you WILL regret it."

Angel knew when it was time to head out of dodge and one look at the blazing eyes of the bleached thug told him that now was definately the time.

Buffy sobbed her breath coming in painful hitches as she clutched her shirt to herself, turning her face away as Spike pulled her from the car just in time for it to lay wide tracks in the grass.

Unable to stop herself, Buffy sank to the ground, crying pitifully. Spike watched the car until the lights dissapeared into the night muttering "wanker," under his breath. Taking a deep breath, He turned back to the weeping beauty at his feet and gathering her up into his arms he carried her to his waiting DeSoto saying to her quietly, "because you deserve better than that."

TBC

Feedback: Aww you guys are just too cool with the feedback. Let me know what you think of this one please :)


TWO DAYS LATER


Buffy sat downheartedly by the pool her bronze skin glowing and feet dangling in the deep aqua water. "Buffy honey?" Joyce Summers called out coming onto the back porch, "We're going now."

Buffy looked up at her mother with a sad little half smile, "Have fun in Hawaii. Hope the show goes well for you guys."

Joyce frowned a bit as she came to lean down next to her daughter pushing a long strand of hair behind her ear tenderly, "You sure you can't go? I've still got that extra ticket. I know Rupert would love to have you along."

Buffy sighed and then smiled more brightly at her mother, "No, you've been planning a second honeymoon for awhile and it's not like I haven't seen your artwork before. You go...have fun. I'll be fine."

Joyce looked into her daughters deep green eyes knowing that something was bothering her but also knowing that she wouldn't tell until she was ready. With a sigh and a smile she nodded, placing a kiss on her daughters forehead. "We'll be at the Hilton on Wailea. Room 313. Call for anything ok? And I'll call you as soon as we get there to let you know we're safe and sound."

"You call if you need anything ok sweetie? Anything."

Buffy nodded smiling at her mother, when all she wanted to do was curl up in her arms and sob her eyes out. *Damn you Spike*

With that Joyce stood and with a last smile left to meet her husband at the airport for their 2 week long vacation.



5 HOURS LATER

Spike stood outside the door of his cousins house wondering if she would even answer the door to him. After the other night he had no doubt that she was royally brassed off at him and probably well on the way to hating his guts. Well, he couldn't help what happened. Seeing her with that wanker, her eyes closed in obvious ecstasy when she was supposed to be with him....well he had seen nothing but red. The drive home had been torture what with her weeping and mumbling to herself. When he had reached out to console her she had flinched away, and that had wounded him just as deeply as any knife could have. *It's your own fault you bloody ponce. Just because you're in love with the chit doesn't give you the right to just invade her life like that. Not like it's returned.*

With a deep sigh and a rueful shake of his head, he threw down the cigarette he had been smoking and steeling his resolve walked to the porch and rang the doorbell.


Buffy ignored the first ring of the doorbell thinking that they would just go away, but after the third time she pulled herself from the couch and walked slowly into the front hall. Not bothering to look out the peephole in the hopes that it was some deranged killer coming to end her suffering, she pulled the door open gasping audibly when she saw who was on her porch.

"WHAT the HELL do you want?" She said icily crossing her arms over her breasts in a silent gesture for him to keep his distance.

"I'm sorry." He said simply holding out the single rose he had been carrying with him. "I'm really sorry Buffy. I was a bloody nonce and I deserve whatever you have to say but I just had to come say that."

Buffy looked at the rose and then at him, his deep blue eyes reflecting the inner anguish he was holding in check and she knew he was as sorry as he said he was. He was her cousin and she loved him, but they had to talk about what he did and why.

Taking the rose Buffy nodded jerkily a single tear tracing the line of her cheek, "Fine, but you're still not off the hook. You hurt me Spike. You really did."

Reaching out he wiped her tear away with his thumb, "I know I did cousin and I can't tell you how much I hate myself for it."

Both sighed inwardly as he dropped his hand and contact was lost.

"Come in." Buffy stood to one side to allow him to enter, " I was just about to watch Kill Bill. Which seems oddly appropriate right about now. You can stay and watch with me if you want to."

Spike relaxed a bit letting the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding out, "I'd like that. Nothing better than watching a scorned woman get her revenge."

Buffy smiled slightly at him, "Better watch out there cousin, it may give me ideas."

Knowing that he was treading on thin ice, he just nodded and followed her into the family room. Dropping his leather trench coat onto the nearest chair he took a seat at the opposite end of the comfortable couch from Buffy.

The movie had been running for about 15 minutes but neither could have told you what the story was about. Both were to caught up in their own thoughts and emotions, the tension growing by leaps and bounds the more they thought. Finally Buffy couldn't take it anymore.

"Spike why?" She asked softly her eyes still staring at the screen.

Spike heard her but didn't know what to say that wouldn't throw her into a catatonic state. "I don't know why." *because I'm in love with you.* "I just saw you with that loser and well, you know the rest. *because you deserve so much more, because you deserve everything.*

Buffy sat for not saying a word for a minute, the only sound coming from the television set, before turning her disbelieving eyes on him. "And Riley?"

"He was cheating on you."

"Parker?"

"He only wanted one thing."

"Ben?"

"His sister was saying rotten things about you behind your back and he didn't do a damn thing."

Buffy nodded woodenly as she recounted all her dates and boyfriends in the past and she now realized that none of them had lasted because of one thing. Spike. *What the hell?*

"Did you follow me that night? The night with Angel?" Not wanting the hear the answer but needing to just the same.

Spike stared at the television pretending not to hear.

Buffy started to fume, pulling herself from the couch she started to pace, each step angrier and angrier. "You did...you followed me. To what? Stop me from having a good time...a LIFE?" She shouted as she continued to pace. "WHAT is the matter with you? I was fine...I WAS MORE than fine!!!"

It was the last statement that got to him.

"Acting like a WHORE is FINE? Spreading your legs for every goddamned loser that comes sniffing round?" Spike jumped up and caught Buffy by the arms looking ernestly into her flashing eyes, "you deserve better than that."

"Maybe I LIKE getting fucked William," She said in a deadly low tone of voice, " Maybe.........I just want to have men shove their hard cocks into me and I don't care who it is. Maybe you like watching."

Spike dropped his hands as if he'd been burned taking a step back as she moved towards him, "Is that is Spikey? You get off watching me get fucked? Do you like it when the guys cum on me or in me? Do you wish it was you?"

"You...you don't know what you're talking about Buffy. I think I'm going to just go."

"What and not get your chance at the town Whore?" Buffy said furiously as she ripped her t-shirt over her head leaving her in her red lacey bra. "C'mon William, nows your chance, why don't you fuck me and make me a real slut? I'm willing. You look.....more than ready."

Spike bit back a retort as he realized just what she was looking at. His mouth and heart may have been engaged in the argument but his body and cock had not been. The huge bulge in his pants painted a picture louder than words for her.

"Get out." she said her voice cracking, the tears running down her face.

"Buffy......."

"GET OUT." She shrieked hysterically shoving him as hard as she could, " I don't want you William, I don't need you, I'm just a whore remember? SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!"

Spike saw the look in her eyes and as the emotions threatened to overcome him, he turned and fled stumbling as he went.

When the door slammed shut Buffy sank down onto the couch and cried as if her heart were breaking.

TBC

AN: The feedback has been so great on this story I can't express what it means to me. And for the record...Spike and Buffy are only related by Marriage not blood!!! If it bugs you still I suggest you read The Sitter by Pagan Baby or MY other story Hedging Their Bets which is about two FULL brothers having relations ...sheesh...it's a story folks. But for the rest of you very sweet people, more please?! :) *oh and kisses to my loveliest PaganBaby...my partner in crime :)*


Chapter 2
************

Spike felt like he'd been drug through the lowest pits of hell. After his argument with Buffy he had gotten into his car and torn through downtown, found a liquor store that didn't card and drank himself into a weeping incoherent heap in the back seat down some dark alley.

"Bloody soddin hell." He said holding his hand to his forehead trying to ward off the pounding in his skull. The bright California sunshine flooding through the window didn't help either. *What time is it?*

Digging into his tight black jeans he pulled out an ancient looking gold pocket watch and squinted at it, "Bloody soddin hell." It was 8:10 a.m. with any luck he could still make it to school in time to not be counted absent. He flipped the watch cover closed and stuffed it back into his pocket thinking,*Though that may not be such a bad thing.*

Wistfully he sighed as that fantasy was blown to bits and replaced by Buffys tearful face instead. Shaking his aching head and muttering to himself he moved out of the backseat of the DeSoto and slid over the front into the drivers seat, "No mate you gotta a mission to see a girl."

The engine responded with a roar as Spike hightailed it in the direction of the high school on a quest to make things right again.


************************

20 minutes later

**************************

Willow Rosenberg looked at the clock and shared a slightly concerned look with her girlfriend Tara McClay from across the aisle. *Buffy was an absentee this morning and Spike had yet to show either. What the hell?* Frowning at the clock again she tapped her pencil anxiously on her books. A few minutes later Tara reached over and silenced it nodding at Spike as he trudged into the classroom hair askew, unshaven, and looking like he definitely spent the night in his clothes at the bottom of a bottle.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Devereux," the homeroom teacher called out sarcastically at his back as he walked down the row and slumped into his seat in front of Willow already noting Buffy's empty one.

Willow sat forward to tap on his shoulder when the sudden wafting scent of cheap alcohol hit her full force. Pinching her nose distastefully she poked him in one leather covered shoulder with her pencil.

"Spike,"she whispered one eye on the teacher, " where's Buffy? And what the hell happened to you?"

Spike didn't answer at all, instead he dropped his head onto his arms on top of the desk just far enough she couldn't reach and ignored her.

Willow sat back and looked at Tara shrugging at her wide eyed gaze before turning back around. *Maybe everything was ok? I mean Buffy could really be sick. And Spike has been known to go on a bender or two in the past.* She thought to herself as she stared at the back of Spike's leather coat. *But that's only when his father is around and he's still in South America. And Spike always knows where Buffy is, hell he brings her to school everyday doesn't he?*

Willow's forehead creased just a bit as she tried to puzzle out what was going on, *Ok this is just weird.*

The bell finally rang ending the first period. As she gathered up her books fully intent on talking to him, Spike tapped her on the arm being sure to turn his still red tear stained eyes away when she glanced up. "Goin home Red," and with that he turned and left so quickly she couldn't even ask again where Buffy was. *Definitely weird.*

"Tara," she said, "Get your stuff, you and me got a certain perky blond to visit."


****************************************

Buffy hadn't moved from the couch since she had ended up sobbing her heart out on it last night. She hadn't slept either. The awful words she and Spike had spat at each other kept coming back over and over to haunt her. Every time she thought she was done, a fresh new bout was hot on it's heels to send her whirling all over again.

Curling her feet more tightly under her she listlessly watched as the bubbly news crew for Fox news argued over some inane factoid for the day. *Why would he act like that?* She asked herself not wanting to admit what she knew deep in her heart. *He can't...he...no...no Buffy it's not like that. He's just being an asshole. He's being an overprotective, card carrying, neolithic caveman, asshole.*

Brushing the tears that crept down her face once again she let out a shuddery sigh. *But then why does it bug you so much?* An even smaller voice whispered to her. *It doesn't,* she told that voice firmly squashing it back down, * I don't care at all what he thinks of me. Not at all.* But the tears began in earnest again as her heart ached painfully with each word coming back to her. Pulling the quilt from the back of the couch she covered herself entirely and tried to will her foolish heart into letting her sleep.


***************************************

Willow and Tara left the school grounds and hopped into Willow's bright red Karmen Ghia neither of them talking until they were strapped in and on the road. "Somethings wrong Tara," Willow said as she drove quickly towards their missing friends house, "Spike always knows where Buffy is and when he said he was leaving he wouldn't look at me."

"Do you suppose they had a fight or something? I mean that could be it right?" Tara offered the worry in her voice also evident.

Willow glanced at her girlfriend with a pensive look on her face, "I hope that's all it is, but they never fight. Not since he cut her Barbie Dolls hair into a mohawk a long time ago." Smiling slightly at the fond memory of Buffy chasing a then dark haired William through the yard and then threatening to dress his G.I.Joe doll in a dress, Willow hoped that it was just something small and not something unforgivable.

Chewing on her lower lip she drove even faster in single minded pursuit of her destination.


TBC

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful feedback so far. Just a little warning. The next chapter is going to deal with rape and Stockholm syndrome. It's not going to be pretty. So be forewarned.



Chapter 3
*************

The tires squealed as Willow pulled the small red vehicle up to the curb with a sudden stop. Climbing out of the car Tara and she slung their purses over their shoulders, collected the case of soda and bags of Ben and Jerry's they had stopped briefly to get, and strode purposefully to the door of the Summers home.

Willow stilled Tara's hand as she was about to knock, waggling a pair of house keys at her with a little smile. "One of the perks of being best friends for nearly 16 years."

Turning back to the lock she stuck the key into the hole and turned. The tumblers gave way with a satisfying thunk and the two women stepped into the foyer blinking at the sudden dimness. Closing the door behind them they made their way into the livingroom where the T.V. was still blaring. Turning the volume down first Tara nodded towards the kitchen and made a motion with the bags and left Willow to their friend.

Setting her purse on a nearby chair Willow sat hesitantly on the edge of the couch where she could see her blanket cloaked friend and placed her hand gently on the non moving lump and said quietly, "Buffy?"

No answer except a sniffle.

Reaching up and pulling back the cover Willow was dismayed to find her normally bright and perky friend red eyed, and tear stained instead. "Oh Buffy what happened?" She asked reaching out to brush back a lock of tangled hair from Buffy's forehead.

"He....he...h...he called me a ...w...whore." She whispered the answer as a new flood of tears started streaming down her face, "F...f...followed me."

Willow sat back shocked that Spike would call her such a thing, "We are talking about Spike right?" She asked recieving a shaky nod of confirmation to the fact. *So that's why he couldn't look me in the eye.* "He followed you where Buffy? What happened?"

Buffy turned her face away from her friends caring eyes too ashamed to look at her, "With....Angel. We were....." taking a deep breath, "You know....having sex at the Point." The last bit was said so low Willow barely heard her. "He screamed that I was a whore, then he pulled me out of the car, and made Angel leave."

As Buffy started sobbing again Willow pulled her friend into her arms and held her, her mind whirling with questions. *Angel O'Reilly? What the hell is she doing with that loser?* Willow had known that Buffy was having problems, sleeping with random men, not able to keep relationships but Angel? He was a first class bum of the lowest order. The only reason anyone knew him at all was because of the attempted rape charges he had lodged against him by a fellow student in highschool. But that was what? 10 years ago? And now Buffy was having sex with him? In the back of a car no less?

Willow glanced up with deeply troubled eyes as Tara walked back into the room and sat behind Buffy rubbing her back to show her that she wasn't alone. Seeing the pain in Willows eyes and realizing she needed a moment, Tara gently disengaged Buffy from her and helped Buffy to lie down with her head in Tara's lap. Stroking her hair softly to help calm the shuddering blond Tara suggested to Willow that she go upstairs and see if Joyce had any Valium or anything to help calm Buffy.

Nodding gratefully at her girlfriend the redhead stood and moved away to do Tara's bidding taking a deep breath as she tried to come to grips with Buffy's revelations.

Pulling the quilt back around Buffy's seemingly frail shoulders, Tara continued to talk to her in a soothing voice eventually able to calm the petite girl to the occasional shudder and sniffle.

"Buffy, we're going to help you through this. We both are. We'll stay with you until your mom comes back ok?" The slight nod against her calf was reassuring. Glancing up a few minutes later she watched a worried Willow enter the room with a glass of water and some pills in her hand. "Buffy?" Tara asked, "Willows brought you something to help calm you down. I want you to sit up and take them for me ok?" Again a slight nod and then Buffy tiredly pulled herself up to take the pills and the drink from Willow. After swallowing the Valium she looked up at her friends with grateful eyes. "Thank you."

Willow crouched down and hugged her friend fiercely to her, "We love you, just remember that." Leaning back with her stern face in full view she told her, "Now I ran a hot bubble bath for you upstairs and I expect you to go take a nice long one. I'll come check on you in about 20 minutes." She pointed at the stairs, " So march missy!"

Buffy's smile was small but geniune this time as she stood up and did a mock two fingered salute, "Yes sir, General Willow, sir." With that she looked at both of them again the pain in her eyes but much less this time as she whispered, "Really you guys...thanks."

Watching Buffy follow her orders, Willow sighed and sat back on the couch next to Tara her face full of anger and mirroring the pain that Buffy was in as she took a deep breath and said looking deeply into Tara's kind eyes, "Before you get involved there are some things you need to know."

TBC

Chapter 4
***********

Spike lay sprawled on his king sized bed; the sheets tangled around his still jean clad legs as he ran an exhausted hand over his face. *Buffy. * Was all he could think about, even when he had fallen into bed and slept she was all he could dream about. "You really mucked it up this time mate for sure." Sitting up he reached for the pack of cigarettes and silver lighter sitting on his bedside table and lit one. Taking a deep inhalation, he sighed as he held it for a second and then blew out the white smoke with a harsh breath. "She's never going to talk to you again. She's not yours mate, why do you keep doing this to yourself? Better yet why do you keep doing this to her?" Not finding the answers he was seeking sitting there muttering to himself, he decided a shower was in order.

Stubbing out his fag, he shucked his jeans off and walked to the adjoining restroom naked. Turning the water on as hot as he could bear it, he turned his face up to the biting spray his mind going back to happier memories. Buffy and him at the movies, Buffy laughing as they washed the car and they got into a water fight, Buffy's white t-shirt clinging to her and going almost see through during said fight. Spike dropped his head against the wall as his blood rushed to the nether regions of his body and made itself known prominently. *Bloody hell. * He groaned inwardly wrapping a wet fist around his now turgid shaft and stroking. *Buffy lying spread and naked on his bed waiting for him, her eyes hazy with lust for just him as she crooks a finger at him beckoning him. Wanting him.

*****************************************************************
Buffy

The hot water of the bathtub felt delicious against her skin, the warmth seeping into every pore and the Valium doing their little magic and making her relaxed and happy. She giggled a bit swirling the bubbles in the tub and then lifting them onto her hand and blowing them off again. It reminded her of the time she and Spike had washed his DeSoto. It had been blistering hot that day and all they had wanted to do was get cooled off, so she suggested washing the car.

Buffy’s eyes closed and she slid deeper into the tub as she pictured that day the hot sun licking at every bit of exposed skin showing through her faded short short Levi’s shorts. Her white t-shirt clinging to her after Spike had playfully soaked her with the water hose. His hot eyes as they looked at her in her nearly see through top. *Oh God…his eyes…* She murmured quietly just now realizing how heated they had gotten her as well.

Sliding her hand downwards under the bubbles she twitched with lust as she pictured him as he was then, black jeans, no shirt and barefoot. His blond head tousled and his deep blue eyes sparkling with unknown emotions. But the emotion was what did her in now. She knew what that emotion was now, lust, pure unbridled lust… for her.

With a groan she slid her nimble fingers into her folds imagining that it was Spike doing it for her as she arched her body up. “Oh Spike,” she moaned thrusting the fingers deep inside while her other hand pinched and rubbed at her distended clit making her shudder.

In her mind she pictured him looking down at her as he slid his hard length deep inside kissing and nibbling at her sensitive breast, worshipping her, making her feel loved and good. Most of all good.

******************************************************************
Spike

Thrusting into his hand a bit harder he imagines her spreading her legs in invitation, her deep green eyes showing nothing but love and lust for him. He imagines how hot and tight she would feel around him as he slides his hard cock deep inside waiting for her to adjust to his size, supping at her breasts like a starved man.

His hand becomes a blur as he pictures her wrapping herself around him and giving herself fully to him, her heart, her body and her soul. And he gives her the same. Loving her with long strokes of himself within her heated core. Paying homage to her perfect form, lavishing her with the love she deserves and needs and he want to give to her.

“OH GOD Buffy, “ he groans feeling the familiar tingle in his balls that announces his impending orgasm as he rolls his head against the white ceramic tiles imagining her whispering in his ear words of love. “Mine…..GOD….MINE….”

******************************************************************

Buffy

“OH GOD…Spike…” She moans to the empty bathroom. Her fingers start moving faster within her squelching with every thrust as she pictures him looking at her with those bluer than blue eyes and then dipping his head to whisper words of love to her. “OH OH….God…GOD YES….Spike….NOW….NOW….”

******************************************************************

Spike

His hand tightens around his rock hard erection moving furiously now as he imagines her face as she reaches orgasm, her entire body trembling around him and screaming his name. As he pushes into her one last time in his mind he can feel himself shooting his cream all over the uncaring wall as he calls out hoarsely, “I love you Buffy.”

*****************************************************************


Buffy

Her fingers thrust ever deeper into her as she gives her clit one last twist and bites hard enough on her lip to draw blood so she won’t scream and alert Willow to her activities. Picturing Spike thrusting into her as she starts to tremble her legs tightening around his hips, the driving feeling of his hard prick in her wetness she suddenly arches like a bowstring being drawn tight. Crying out she chokes back the scream as she plummets into blissful orgasm her inner muscles fluttering around her fingers as she whispers out loud, “I love you Spike, ” and slumps back into the tub the reality of what she said making her tremble as a lone tear makes it’s way down her cheek. Spike was her cousin, and she was in love with him.


******************************************************************
Spike

Slumping against the shower wall he lets the fresh water wash away the evidence of his masturbation and then soaps up and rinses off tiredly.

Stepping out of the shower he drags a towel around his lean hips and goes to lie down once again on his bed, his body finally as tired as his heart and mind are. Pulling the comforter haphazardly across him he shuts his eyes and slips quickly into slumber, his last thoughts of his beautiful Buffy shining like an angel and wrapped safely in his arms.




ok sweet kind readers I got TWO reviews on my last story...TWO!!! I mean do I suck that bad? Or are my fans just really really quiet? I'm starting to get worried here. PLEASE...review? PLEASE??? (see now i'm begging and that's just not a good look at all ;))

A/N: this is a bit depressing I realize but be forewarned that the next chapter will be even nastier. Do NOT fear however...there will be a happy Spuffy ending to it all!!! Let me know what you think :D
~Vamps




Chapter 5

“Before you get involved there are some things you should know first.” Willow said looking into Tara’s eyes and seeing nothing but the quiet strength she had come to depend on in her girlfriend.

At Tara’s silent nod a small smile Willow took a deep breath and started to tell the story.

“When Buffy was 15 she went to go visit her dad in Los Angeles, I remember she was so excited cause it had been such a long time between visits and he was spending the whole week with her. She spent all her time talking about all the great stuff they were going to do and what should she wear, and how she missed him so much.” Willow smiled regretfully her eyes focusing on her hands intertwined with Tara’s. “Shoulda known it was too good to be true, he never held good to his word before why should he have then right?”


Shaking away the thoughts she continued on, “Anyways, about 3 days after getting there he tells Buffy he has to make an emergency trip to Hong Kong or somewhere with his secretary in tow of course,” she paused and looked at Tara “It’s the reason Buffys mom and dad got a divorce, extramarital affairs with his secretaries.”

Tara made a small noise of understanding and squeezed Willows hands urging her to continue.

“So he told Buffy that she can stay the rest of the week there alone or have a friend come over if she wants, the fridge is stocked, he’ll leave her his credit card yada, yada, and whoosh he leaves her there all by herself.”

Tara reached out and ran a gentle hand over Willows bright crimson hair lending her support instinctively feeling that the story was about to get much worse.

“She called me Tara, to come get her. I’d just gotten my drivers license cause I had just turned 16 and my parents were never home so she asked if I could pick her up. I said I would and that I’d be there in about an hour or so.”

Willow looked up her eyes filled with tears her voice quavering painfully, “There was an accident …on the 405 freeway, it took me almost 3 hours to get there and I didn’t have my cell phone so I couldn’t call her…I couldn’t tell her. She must have wondered what happened to me and just fell asleep on the couch waiting for me cause she left the door unlocked in case I showed up. She left it unlocked… because of me.” Willows voice broke as the tears she had held back for so long started to slide over her cheeks. “He was her dad’s next door neighbor. She never told me that, never told me what happened or how until….” Taking a deep breath Willow steadied her voice, “ He came into the house and kidnapped her, he raped her and tortured her for 3 days before letting her go.”

Tara gasped her doe colored eyes widening in alarm and shock, “but…she got away…she was still alive that’s all that counts.”

Willow dropped her head her tears dripping onto their coupled hands as she said in a near whisper, “He let her go and she called me….had me pick her up…we told her mom that she had gotten taken by a would be thug and held against her will but not about the rape, not about the terrible things he did to her. She made me promise never to tell. That’s why Spike doesn’t know the whole story but I’m her best friend I couldn’t just go against that and she said she was fine. She filed a police report and everything but she never gave his name, she said she didn’t know who he was. I thought she ok, I thought she was moving on but I was in denial cause she wasn’t, and she hasn’t been since.”

Tugging Willow into her embrace Tara ran her hand over her lovers arm soothingly whispering to her, “shhh….it’ll be allright we’ll help her.”

“That’s not all,” Willow said quietly making Tara have to lean closer to hear, “After that Buffy became sexually active, promiscuous to the point where she was sleeping with anyone, men, women….it didn’t matter if she knew their names or not until she started dating Knox. He was older than her and seemed really nice in a majorly sleazy kind of way but she didn’t sleep with anyone else during the 3 months she was with him so I figured he was a good influence in at least that way. She seemed happy, even content so I figured that my internal alarm system was just working overtime because of what happened before. That was until he was picked up by the police on rape charges of another girl and sent to prison. Buffy cried for almost a week before she would tell me….before she confessed.”

“What? What did she confess Willow?” Tara prodded gently almost fearing the next words out of her mouth.

“That Knox was the one ….who took her a year before and raped her.”


TBC

Chapter 6

AN: this chapter deals with an emotional state called Stockholm Syndrome. This syndrome comes into play when a captive cannot escape and is isolated and threatened with death, but is shown token acts of kindness by the captor. It typically takes about three or four days for the psychological shift to take hold.

Anyone not comfortable with this may want to stop reading here, I will be getting into Buffy’s torture to move the story along and hopefully convey why she is having sexual troubles and emotional troubles.

I have been a victim of physical abuse and mental abuse so please do NOT take offense; it is simply to convey her feelings and outlook. Spike will be brought into this and he will be helping her over it so never fear!!!! I am a Spuffy writer and I am faithful to the Spuffy goodness!
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Buffy cried for almost a week before she would tell me….before she confessed.”

“What? What did she confess Willow?” Tara prodded gently almost fearing the next words out of her mouth.

“That Knox was the one ….who took her a year before and raped her.”

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Tara gasped her hand flying to her mouth as she took in everything she had been told. Buffy raped and tortured for 3 days, then somehow let go, Buffy becoming sexually promiscuous and then dating the very man that had hurt her.

“I’ve read something……” Tara muttered getting up and going to her book bag pulling out her laptop and sitting back down on the couch. After a couple of seconds of tapping on the keyboard she turned the screen so that Willow could see it.

Stockholm Syndrome jumped out at her in huge letters. As Willow read she nodded saying, “yes….yes…that’s it…that’s how she’s been acting.” Looking up at Tara, Willows eyes were huge but she said with firm resolve. “Ok we gotta talk to Buffy and find out just what he did to her.”

As Willow started to get up from the couch Tara grabbed her arm stopping her, “Wait…I need to know….why didn’t you call the police that night?”

Willow’s resolve left her in a rush as she slumped back down onto the couch picking at the edge of her t-shirt nervously. “Well…..you know I said that there was an accident? And then there was the open door and no Buffy?” Tara nodded pulling Willows hands from her shirt. “There was a note.” She half choked half whispered. “And then the phone rang….he…he was on the other end…said that if I called the police he’d kill her. Said that if I stayed at the house waiting for her he’d kill her. He said that he would release her in 3 days and then he hung up.” The tears began in earnest as she choked trying to tell Tara the story. “I was so scared…I didn’t know what to do, so I drove back to Sunnydale.”

“Oh Willow,” Tara’s aggrieved reply came.

“But I did…I did tell the police…..I got home and I just couldn’t not tell them. They said there was nothing they could do because it wasn’t their jurisdiction and to call the Los Angeles police. So I did that too…..but they said that a person isn’t considered missing for at least 24 hours so there was nothing they could do until the next night. I didn’t bring the note with me so they couldn’t use it as evidence of a kidnapping. They agreed to stop by the house and look around but there was nothing. The house was locked up and quiet, the note was gone, there was just….nothing.” Willow collapsed into her lover’s arms sobbing out a story that tore at Tara’s heart. “ If I had the note, if there had been signs of forced entry ….anything….they could have started looking sooner. But they couldn’t and they didn’t and then Buffy showed up calling me. We called the police like I said, but Buffy never told them who it was. She never told me. Until….”


“Until he went to jail.” Tara finished for her.

“Until he went to jail.” Willow repeated.

Smoothing the tears off of Willow’s crumpled and pale cheeks Tara nodded. “We need to talk to Buffy about this but first we need to tell Spike.” At Willow’s starting protest Tara said, “He loves her, he needs to know Willow. He’ll help her, you know he will.”

Willow nodded hearing the truth of her words. “We’ll tell Spike first…but we need to check on Buffy now.”

Tara took Willows hand in hers and climbed the staircase gently knocking on the door of the bathroom. When there was no reply Willow opened it and saw that it was now empty. She then turned to Buffy’s bedroom door, and cautiously opened it, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw her friend asleep in her bed.

Closing the door again quietly she turned to Tara and said, “Call Spike we need to talk.”


2 Hours later

Spike ran his hand over his now thoroughly disheveled hair pain etched into his normally handsome features.

“I’m so sorry Spike.” Willow said for what had to be the thousandth time that evening as Tara squeezed her hand letting her know she made the right decision. “I …I never knew you felt about her like you do….I should have told you anyways, you’ve always looked after her. She needed you and I let her down….”

“ You did what she asked, what she begged you to do. It’s ok baby…everything will be ok.” Tara said quietly.

Spike looked up his blue eyes thick with unshed tears for the girl he loved, for the words he had so callously flung at her, and for the innocence she had lost. Leaning back in the chair he pulled his Marlboro’s out of his pocket and lit one inhaling the calming nicotine and then blowing it out slowly.

“You did what you thought you should Wills.” He said staring at the ceiling for a moment before leaning forward to her and gripping her other hand with his free one. “You’re a good friend to her and don’t you ever forget that you hear me?” He asked offering her a watery smile that she returned. “We’re just gonna have to get her to come clean about the whole thing now, with us…with her mum…even with herself.”

Willow nodded withdrawing her hand and mopping at her eyes with the sleeve of her t-shirt, “ I know…but she’s not gonna like it. She’s gonna fight it every inch of the way Spike. You know her.”

Pulling his lean form up he stubbed his cigarette out in an ashtray and then moved to stand at the bottom of the stairs looking up in the direction of Buffy’s room.

“I know Willow, but we have to for her sake. I can’t just leave her like this ….I won’t…I…I love her Willow, she’s my world.”

With that quiet statement he went upstairs leaving the two girls in the living room to comfort each other.

Stepping into Buffy’s room he closed the door behind himself and took off his boots. Carefully he lay down on the bed, jumping a bit when Buffy turned and snuggled into his arms.

“I knew you’d come back….I just knew it.” She whispered her silent tears running down her face and soaking his shirt.

Wrapping his arms around her he held her through the night whispering, “Spikes here, nothing’s going to hurt you ever again.”

AN: this chapter deals with an emotional state called Stockholm Syndrome. This syndrome comes into play when a captive cannot escape and is isolated and threatened with death, but is shown token acts of kindness by the captor. It typically takes about three or four days for the psychological shift to take hold.


Anyone not comfortable with this may want to stop reading here, I will be getting into Buffy’s torture to move the story along and hopefully convey why she is having sexual troubles and emotional troubles.


I have been a victim of physical abuse and mental abuse so please do NOT take offense; it is simply to convey her feelings and outlook. Spike will be brought into this and he will be helping her over it so never fear!!!! I am a Spuffy writer and I am faithful to the Spuffy goodness!




Chapter 7



The early morning sun broke through Buffy’s room wakening her from the most refreshing sleep she had had since. *No, * She thought shaking her head not thinking about that but focusing instead on the boy, no…make that man, next to her.

Turning her head she nuzzled her face into her cousin’s chest feeling safe and loved and supremely relaxed. *God he smells good, * she thought to herself as the first bit of arousal started to snake it’s way through her belly.

Without being consciously aware of it her fingers slid up under his shirt gently exploring and touching his hard stomach and the line that separated his abs down his lean form. *Mmmm and nice muscles, * She thought hazily as the unsatiated lust she had burning in her constantly made it’s presence known. *I want it….god…..I do…so bad…* was all she could think as her body took over and her mind fled from the scene never even acknowledging the change from him to it.

Skimming her hand over his jean covered bulge she smiled a bit as she popped the first button and then the next and the next until finally he was jutting in all his glory towards her lips. *Ohhhhh..it’s so beautiful.* she thought running a fingernail down the pink skin and the veined underside watching it throb and bounce lightly in wonder. *Taste ….got to taste it…* she thought as her pink tongue peeked out and she lapped at the tiny pearly drop of pre-cum residing on the slit of his cock. *Mmmmm…god it tastes so good…* she thought moaning a bit and squirming into position so she could take his hard cock fully into her wet mouth.

Spike groaned in his sleep arching up a bit, his dreams turning decidedly erotic before his body started to wake him to the reality of his steely length being sucked and mewled over. As he swam slowly into consciousness his hands went to Buffy’s hair on pure instinct as he tried vainly to push more of his flesh into her mouth.

“Buffy…..”He moaned loudly as she took more of him into her mouth and rolled her tongue over and around the head making him quiver with need. Sitting up he pushed her onto her back abruptly and pushing her nightie up and out of the way he attacked her breasts voraciously, not hearing anything but cries of pleasure as he supped on her hard nipples and soft flesh.

“Knox….don’t….please…I’ll be good….I…I didn’t mean it….please….” she begged her mind switching into the horror of her captors world and leaving her loving cousin behind in the real one as all signs of her earlier arousal fled.

Spike slid up her body pressing his hard length against hers so caught up in his need and his all consuming passion for his love he didn’t hear the name she said . “I love you Buffy….I need you so bad baby…so bad…” He whispered against the side of her neck mimicking the exact words that Knox had spoken to her so long ago and pushing her further into her dark abyss.

“I’ll be good…..please….please….”she begged helplessly. Spike’s blond hair going dark and tousled in her mind and his lean strength becoming heavy and threatening but at the same time his words of love winding their twisted way around her mind and heart as Spike ceased to exist and only her captor remained.

Hearing her last words of please Spike shifted his body so that he was pressed into her heat and with a groan pushed innocently deep inside of her.

Her shriek of pain cut through his fog of lust bringing him slamming back to reality as she started fighting him tooth and nail crying and scratching at him. “NO….NO….KNOX….PLEASEEEEEEE…..” She screamed out her entire body trying to buck him off as in her mind he took her painfully, her body dry and the inner walls of her vagina tearing at his violation as he thrust into her without care.

“BUFFY…..BUFFY…..”Spike shouted holding her arms down trying to keep her from hurting herself and to keep her from scratching him further. “WILLOW….TARA….” He yelled at the top of his lungs tears starting to pour down his face at his stupidity and his loves pain. “Buffy…love please…hear me…it’s Spike….Spike….baby please…”He begged her looking into her wide eyes and seeing her terror knowing she was no longer with him. “DAMMIT….WILLOW……….PLEASE……..” He sobbed dropping his head down and keeping Buffy pressed to the bed as she fought him.

The door to the bedroom burst open as Willow and Tara ran into the room their eyes wide as the scene set in. “Spike MOVE …..NOW!!!!” Willow said authoritatively. Not waiting to see if her instructions were followed she caught Buffy’s arms in her hands and Tara held her legs to keep her from thrashing.

“Buffy….Buffy….it’s ok…..it’s Willow…..not Knox…he’s gone sweetie….” Willow spoke in a low soothing tone holding her friends hands as the words began to sink in slowly and the desperate fight left her suddenly.

“W…W…Willow?” came the heartbreaking question as Buffy’s eyes filled with tears and the sobs started wracking her body, “OH GOD…he was…trying…to….hurt…me…”she choked out through her tears as Willow scooped her up into her arms and held her shaking body. “He’s gone baby….he’s gone….” She said cooing soothingly and smoothing Buffy’s hair looking at Tara and nodding to Spike who sat crumpled on the floor his face a mask of pain and anguish.

Tara quickly moved to Spike and gently taking his hand helped him to stand. Her face turned slightly crimson as his untucked t-shirt caught on his genitalia. Looking up at his face she saw nothing but torment in his blue eyes and with tenderness and care she pulled his shirt down affording him some dignity.

“Spike?” She asked gently moving him out of the room and into the bathroom. “I want you to take a shower and relax…can you do that for me?”

He turned his grief-stricken eyes to hers and nodded woodenly as she had him sit on the toilet and she turned to the shower getting it ready for him.

“God…I didn’t know…I swear Tara….I didn’t mean ….I hurt her…..I hurt my Buffy….” He murmured brokenly as the tears started fresh and coursed down his cheeks and dripped off his chin unchecked.

Tara moved in front of him and cupped his face looking deep into his eyes and said firmly, “You didn’t do this Spike, Knox did. You are not to blame for Buffys pain he is. You need to be strong for her, she needs you, do you think you can do that?” She asked seriously.

Nodding against her warm hands he looked up and said, “I can…I will.”

Tara offered him a small smile pushing his tousled hair back with a gentle hand, “you should wear it like this, it’s a good look for you.” She said before removing her hands and asking, “I’m going to go back to Buffy. You going to be ok in here?”

Spike nodded again saying, “Thanks Tara,” already turning away from her as she made her way out of the room closing the door behind her. As he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the calming water he felt it wash away his pain a bit. But as the water slooshed over his head he wondered if he could make a difference at all with his abused cousin, and if she would ever be the same Buffy he had loved for so long. The sudden sharpness of anger and total incapacitating frustration sent him dropping down to the floor. As the water continued down indifferent to his pain, Spike curled up against the side of the tub sobbing for her and begging God to help him find the way to help his love.


as always reviews make me a happy vamps :D So please?

AN: this is a sweet chapter that I hope you enjoy. I wanted to show that Spike and Buffy realize they have hurtles but are willing to work together towards her continued peace of mind. Along with Willow and Tara of course.

And for anyone wondering, yes I will be addressing her prior sexcapades, not in detail but in flashbacks cause she’s gonna have to work through them to figure out where she’s going right?
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I also wanted to send out my lovin’s to everyone who’s said boo to me in the reviews…BuffyandSpikeforever (fan #1, and that’s scary ;) ), Patty (my partner in crime), Sluggie (my other partner in crime), Rubberband11, Rain, HotlipedJen (the talky chit on the tag ;) ), Spikedchick, Elysian, Karbear57 (when are we doing the Tennis again :D) , wtbloody666, Mandi (the woman with the site), Kati, Spikeadelic, KMS (fan from the first with the awesome feedback), Angela, Darla, Kaitlynn, Shippy (again with the sticking it to me and making me write better but never letting me forget that Spuffy comes first :D) , Sarah Aless (you naughty girl I need reprimanding ), Cynthia, KD, Caroline, Tori, Spikelvr2002, Karen, Manda, Rosiegirl, and Parisian (who was skeptical but very kind in her skepticism and has all my respect)
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45 minutes later
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Buffy sipped at her diet soda, as she sat wrapped in a blanket on the couch, the liquid sloshing a bit from her shaking hands as she held the glass.

Spike had come into the room and when Buffy didn’t look up, too ashamed to see what she knew would be the condemnation in his eyes, he took the seat farthest away from her leaving an ocean of space and misunderstanding between them.

Willow and Tara came back into the room carrying food and a pitcher of lemonade glancing at one another when they surveyed the scene.

“Why are you sitting all the way over there Spike?” Willow asked seeing the two blondes sitting so far away from each other and sensing the tension between them and hoping to dispel it.

Spike looked up at her with such pained eyes she thought he’d break into tears. It was clear he was barely able to stand the knowledge that had been shoved at him in such a short time and then to compound it albeit innocently, well she knew something had to be done. Buffy needed him and he needed Buffy…that much was clear.

“Ok….powwow time you two.” She said firmly setting her goodies down on the table smiling gratefully at Tara as she did the same and then took a seat sitting Indian style on the floor offering her silent support.

“Spike.” She looked at him and pointed to the couch beside Buffy, snapping her fingers when he didn’t move quickly enough for her.

“Buffy.” She said in the no nonsense tone of voice that made her best friend cringe whenever she used it. “We’re going to hash out the bedroom before it turns into the pink elephant in the room.”

Buffy turned crimson as Spike dropped his eyes in shame making Willow roll hers silently. “Ok…I know you both better than most people so that means you know me as well. Right?” she asked her hands on her hips looking down at them, “RIGHT?” she pressed finally getting a nod out of the pair before she knelt down taking one hand of each into her own. “You also know that means that I love you both too, and I would never ever do anything to hurt you, but you need each other. Buffy, you need Spike to lean on, to feel loved but not feel threatened right?” She asked gently smiling at her friend when her eyes slid towards Spike and she nodded with a small jerking motion of her head.

“And Spike, you love her. Enough to protect her and give her the strength she needs to get through this, you won’t judge her and you don’t, but you’re willing to be there for her every step right?” She smiled a bit broader seeing the tow headed blonde seek out Buffy’s and nod sincerely reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear tenderly and then cup her face.

“I do love you Buffy, I’m in love with you.” He said softly his heart pounding in his chest as he said the words he’d been longing to for so long to her. “I only want to be here for you. You don’t have to be alone anymore. I…..we….”He said glancing at the other two for confirmation, “will be here for you for as long as you need. As long as you want.”

Buffy sat her eyes huge and liquid as her lips trembled worrying the fabric of the comforter in her hands. As the tears slipped silently down her cheeks she allowed Spike to pull her close and wrap his strong arms around her allowing her to seek the solace she had been craving. The two cousins closed their eyes and just gave and took from each other oblivious to anyone but themselves as they fixed their tattered hearts a bit with the closeness.

Willow moved quietly and Tara followed as they slipped from the room unnoticed and made their way up the stairs to the guest room needing a bit of alone time themselves to touch and feel and remember how lucky they were to have each other.

After a few minutes Spike opened his eyes and tilted his loves’ face up to his, “I’m sorry about before Buffy. I didn’t have any….”He looked a bit ashamed as he thought of how he had almost taken advantage of her.

Cupping his cheeks in her hands she smiled through her tear stained cheeks at him her green eyes reflecting back to him nothing but gratitude. “Spike if it had been anyone else they wouldn’t have helped me, couldn’t have known how to help me. You didn’t know, hell I didn’t know, so please don’t blame yourself. You’ve always been there for me and now you’re more than just my cousin and my friend. You’re my defender, and my rock, and my love.” She blushed a bit at the last word but didn’t waver in her gaze determined that he understand.

“Your love?” He asked shyly his eyes sparking with hope, as he took in her purposeful look and the earnestness in her own deep green gaze.

Nodding at him with a sweet shy smile she ran the pad of one thumb over his full lips and said to him in a quiet slightly fearful voice, “You are….I can’t say it yet but….in time….I want to be able to show you just how much you mean to me.” Looking at him she asked him, “Can you…..are you willing to give me time?”

Sweeter words were never spoken to the blond bad boy as he tightened his arms around his petite sweetheart. “I will wait for you till the end of time.” He said pulling her close so that she rested her head on his shoulder her own hands twining around his back. “You and me pet….we’ll get through this together and then we’ll see where we stand.”

Buffy sighed happily knowing that he knew how she felt but also secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t push her to say things she just wasn’t ready to say, or do things she wasn’t ready to do.

Letting him pull her into his arms as he made himself comfy on the couch cradling her head on his chest their legs entwined as they lay down. Reaching out for the remote to the TV. He smiled when he heard her giggle as he put it to Passions.

“Things may be over faster than you think if you make me watch this dreck.” She teased him poking his stomach with her finger playfully.

“Love you can learn a lot from watching Passions, just cause you have no taste doesn’t mean it isn’t a bloody brilliant show.” He groused back grabbing the offending hand and kissing the tips of her fingers gently watching her as her smile spread. “Well when you put it that way, maybe there is some room for this dreck after all.”

Spike chuckled and as the show droned on it wasn’t long before the blond duo was fast asleep in each other’s arms.

TBC

A/N: Thanks to all the delicious sweeties who have been reviewing: Pattyanne, Tayhaangel, Hotlippedjen, Shippy, Mely, Paris, BuffyandSpikeforever, and Beth…sorry it takes me so long to update also but I’m trying to go a bit slower with my stories and make them really good.

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This chapter dedicated to Nicky ~ cause you’ve made me keep on writing when I really was thinking of quitting. Love ya hon!
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****Flashback****


The summer sun was hot and the breeze barely even ruffled the edges of the palm trees outside. Buffy and Spike had spent the day in his house all the doors and windows open every single fan on but still the heat was oppressive.

“Wanna wash your car?” Buffy piped up suddenly hit with inspiration.

“Do I wanna what?” He asked barely opening his closed eyes to look at her, half asleep from the heat as it was.

“Wash….your…car…” she giggled poking his side. “You know…cold water….soap….cold water?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively her green eyes sparkling.

*Water…Buffy…white t-shirt….gah….* Was all that Spike could process as he fought to keep his sudden need to rise to the occasion at bay.

“Sure pet…whatever you want…” He said a bit offhandedly in an attempt to not look too eager, “ why don’t you go grab the soap from the kitchen and I’ll go get the bucket?”

“Ok.” She said bouncing up with youthful enthusiasm her short shorts sticking to the curve of her rounded buttocks and making Spike groan as he watched her skip off.

Looking down at his now prominent bulge that threatened to rip the seams out of his ancient threadbare black jeans he frowned. “ Now mate I know you want that but that is not to be had.” He gave himself a stern talking to.

His groin instead twitched in response to the previous stimuli *WANT…GIRL….NOW* making Spike drop his head back growling softly before pulling his lean form from the couch going in search of said bucket. *Today was turning out to be hotter than hell in more ways than one. *


**** End flashback****


Spike groaned as he struggled into consciousness the feel of a warm soft feminine body making him want to give up the struggle and just bury himself into the offered warmth.

But something niggled.

*Buffy.* Spike jerked back so suddenly not wanting her to feel the early morning problem he was currently sporting that he fell off the couch with a loud THUNK and an equally loud, “OWWWW….Bloody hell…..”

Buffy was jolted awake, her blond sleep tousled head coming up over the edge of the couch to peer down at her cousin with still semi-drowsy eyes and a tiny smile growing.

“Gee cous…when you said you fell for me I didn’t know you meant literally.” She teased him as he groaned at her awful joke and covered his face with his hands.

“Bad Summers….really bloody awful.”

She smirked a little and took a moment to let her eyes feast on his beautiful maleness that was exposed by his tight t-shirt while he was hiding. *Nice arms….those arms are good arms to have….that chest that just begs to be kissed, abs to lick and nibble for days….* her eyes drifted downward to his obvious bulge was, * Oooooo and definitely fuckable…looks big…it felt big…..* she squeezed her thighs together remembering how he felt inside her filling her so full and letting her mind completely shut out the aftermath and the pain that came with it in her sudden all consuming need.

“B….Buffy?” He asked her from the floor where he had been watching her, the shift in her normally glittering eyes almost palpable from innocent teasing to darkness and sex.

She turned her head slowly to look at him.

Her eyes shocked Spike, normally warm and caring, they were now heated and yet somehow at the same time, cold and devoid of feeling as they collided with his. As the bright blue orbs, that were so tender and frightened for her widened, she blinked and her inner walls collapsed as she instinctively recoiled into herself.

“OH….OH…GOD….” She cried out turning to bury her face in the couch cushions and sobbing as if her heart were breaking.

Spike got up from the floor and lay down behind her all thoughts focusing on only one thing; making her feel safe.

“I got you baby…I got you…Williams here….never going to leave you alone again. You’ll never hurt like that again I promise.”

Buffy’s sobs turned into shudders and finally into sniffles as she turned and wrapped her arms around him burying her face in his t-shirt. “I’m sorry.” She whispered quietly her voice growing sleepy once again as her body and mind sought out the refuge it so desperately craved.

As Buffy fell asleep in his arms Spike allowed his own tears to fall wondering how he could ever make his broken angel whole again.


*****Flashback*****

“You got me all wet.” She complained good-naturedly tilting her blond head and looking down at her wet shirt that was sticking to her in all the right places.

Spike grinned mischievously and waggled his brows, “did more than that pet.” He said darting around the car as the wet sponge came flying.

“Why the hell do you have a heap like this already anyways?” she teased him knowing that he loved the thought of the freedom it would give him in just a month’s time. “I mean it’s not like you can drive.”

He arched a brow at the last comment before he ran his hand lovingly over the curves of the classic and said simply staring at Buffy making sure she didn’t miss his double meaning, “Cause she’s my girl. She’ll always be my girl.”

*****End Flashback*****

Chapter 10

dedicated to Ashlee and Starbrite...two new shining stars on the spuffy horizon thank you for your kindness and enthusiasm. As Starbrite says : you two rock!

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Willow and Tara moved around the kitchen with a practiced ease that came from lots of time spent at Buffy’s house. Especially since everyone knew that Buffy was a lousy cook.

Orange juice was poured and milk sat out with sugar for coffee, hot cakes and sausages were served up as the twosome bumped into one another and giggled smiling at each other in the morning sun.

“BUFFY…..SPIKE….” Willow hollered at the top of her lungs making Tara cringe and plug her ears with a sweet laughing smile.

“I think you woke up poor deaf Mr. Westerly next door too sweetie.” She teased picking up a cup of black coffee and sipping it as Spike pushed open the door his hair a mess and his clothes rumpled. It was clear he hadn’t slept very well at all.

“Where’s Buffy?” Willow asked handing him a cup of coffee and then watching him in growing amazement as he dumped half the bowl of sugar into it. “Might want some coffee with your sugar there sport.” She said with a wry grin as he merely scowled at her and took a drink before answering.

“Don’t know where she is. You bellowed,” he ignored her arched brow, “ and I came in here thinking she’d be here with you two birds.”

Willow started to answer when a fresh as a daisy Buffy bounced into the room. Clearly the night had done wonders for her but what about Spike? Tara and Willow exchanged a look with one another as Buffy breezed by him giving him a kiss on the cheek and made her way to the fridge pulling out a carton of non fat yogurt.

“Uh….Buffy? We kinda sorta made breakfast for everyone.” Willow said not really sure what was going on but wanting to say something, anything.

“Oh….” She stopped and looked over the heaping mounds of meat and flapjacks and then wrinkled up her nose. “No thanks guys, I mean…I got a date tonight..I’ve got to keep myself from getting all round bellied right?”

“Bloody…”
“WHAT?”
“Buffy….”

Spike stood abruptly and left the kitchen growling out something about a shower as he stalked past Tara.

“Buffy I can’t believe you did that.” Willow looked at her friend angrily her green eyes flashing. “Why would you say that after what Spike told you yesterday?”

Buffy tilted her head and looked genuinely confused. “Huh? What did he tell me yesterday?”

Willow sat down throwing her hands up and looking thoroughly exasperated turning her pleading eyes to Tara.

“He told you that he was in love with you…remember sweetie?” Tara asked gently a worried look marring her normally calm features.

“Oh….” Buffy giggled nervously, “That…he was just kidding….he doesn’t love me…I mean…how could he?” She asked stirring her yogurt in growing agitation. “I mean…I’m nothing….I’m just…..” She whispered a silent tear gliding down her cheeks, “he deserves better…not a …..slut.” The last words were said so quietly Willow and Tara almost didn’t hear but they did.

Willow stood up and took the yogurt from her hands and set it aside and hugged Buffy, “You’ll have to get over this, we need to get you over this, he loves you very much, he won’t leave you, we won’t leave you…” She leaned back her resolve face firmly in place. “We need to find you some help, some real professional help, and you need to tell your mother and Giles what happened.”

Buffy shook her head violently trying to break from Willow’s grasp, “No…..NO….I don’t want them to know, they’ll hate me.” She cried out her eyes welling with tears as she struggled.

Tara came up and brushed Buffy’s hair from her eyes and looked at her seriously. “ I just found out and I don’t hate you, why would your family want anything but the best for you?”

Buffy looked at the soft spoken girl thoughtfully before she looked again at Willow, “I….I’ll go to a counselor…but no telling my mom OR Giles.” She said fervently “Please? Not until I can come to grips with this myself?”

Willow nodded, “ I don’t like it but I’m glad you’re willing to go talk to someone about it. We’ll make an appointment for Fred tomorrow.”

Tara smiled at the thought of the brainy sweet tempered therapist that had helped her get over her own family issues not so long ago. “You’ll like her Buffy, she’s very good.”

Buffy nodded sniffling a bit and gnawing on her lip as she looked towards the ceiling, “I should go apologize. I don’t really have a date. I…I… just think Spike deserves better is all.”

Willow hugged her again and nodded. “Go.” She said prodding her towards the door to the living room.


“I’m sorry.”

Spike sighed deeply hearing the words drift through the shower curtain. Leaning down he turned off the taps and rested his head against the tiles before pushing off of them and poking his head out.

“Could ya hand me a towel pet?”

Buffy looked up her eyes teary as she handed him the towel.

“I don’t really have a date tonight.” She tried again wanting to keep her mind off of what was going on behind the shower curtain. “I’m just….” She bit her lip looking down at her fingers as she picked at the cuticles nervously, “ I told them I’d go to a therapist.”

Spike pulled the curtain away and felt his heart break at the sight of his cousin so small and insecure once again. Stepping from the shower the towel knotted around his hips he pulled her into his embrace and kissed the top of her head.

Her tears wet his chest as she snuggled into his warm damp skin just happy that she was forgiven.

“I’m scared Spike.” She whispered not sure if he would hear her.

He nodded against her and caressed her back soothingly, “I know you are luv, but I’m here, Willow’s here and so is Tara. All of us are here for you. Lean on us.” He said moving to tilt her chin up so he could see into her damp green eyes, “Please?”

She nodded a bit shakily her smile wobbly but he was happy that she gave him a smile. “And don’t lie to me like that ever again, I can’t take it.”

“Oh god….I know…I’ll never…I promise….ever……I don’t know what’s wrong…..”She babbled in a rush of words that had him smiling gently at her before silencing her with a finger to her lips.

“All I care about is you pet. That means here,” he touched the side of her forehead, “as well as here.” He touched the area of her heart sincerely. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared. Scared is ok. Scared is good in fact. Means you’re still with me and believe me luv, that’s all I want. You…with me. You understand?”

She nodded again and smiled as she stood on tiptoes and brushed a sweet kiss on his lips. “I’ll let you get dressed now but I was thinking maybe we should make a picnic and just spend the day relaxing by the pool?” She said asking him shyly as if he turn her down.

He ran a hand over her cheek and smiled down at her. “That sounds perfect luv, just bring me my swim trunks that I left here and we’ll be set to go. Our own little private picnic with the birds.”

She smiled and moved towards the door and opening it stopping only long enough to say, “thank you Spike, for everything.” Then she disappeared out the door leaving a surprised but relieved young man in her wake.




A/N: We’re gonna get to some sweetness soon peeps so try to be patient. I know I’m known for the hot sex stuff but I can actually write a story too can’t I? Or am I just a one trick pony? *sniffles* Review and let me feel the love? Pretty please?