Chapter 1: I Believe In You



Spike had his back to Robin, after fighting off one of the many demons that littered the cemetery. He had a demon on the ground, punching him and sending neon green blood spurting on his clothes. He felt the sting as the blood penetrated an open wound on his knuckles, but quickly ignored it. He got lost in the fight he knew he would win.

He was mad at Buffy. After everything that happened at Robin’s “Sanctuary”, Buffy ordered Robin to go with him for patrol. Demons and Vampires were aligning themselves with the First, and she needed them to take them out. Buffy knew Robin had it out for him, and all it took was an “I got over it. I’m dealing. Trust me, everything will be fine.” from Robin, and she caved.

It didn’t bother him that she believed him. Well, yeah it kinda did, but he wasn’t afraid of the Principal. He just hated the git.

Spike was broken out of his thoughts, when he heard the demon’s strained voice.

“You’ll never be enough. The Slayer’s army is weak, and we-workers of the first-will triumph. Evil will always be around. The Good will fail, and die. You’ll never be enough.” He choked out the last bit with a cough.

Spike, who had stopped, punching the battered demon when he started talking, paused for another moment to take in what he had said. With a hard look in his eyes, Spike pulled a knife from the back of his waistband, and drove it into the demon’s gut. He yanked it out, after the last cry of death coming from the body.

Spike looked over to where Robin was fighting other demons. To his surprise, different ones from the one he just killed. He frowned, but didn’t think anything of it. He ran to Robin’s side, temporarily forgetting that he wanted to kill the guy where he stood, and took on one of the two demons as well.

Once killed, Spike fell to his knees on the ground as pain shot through him. He growled loudly, leaning over hoping to stop the pain.

Robin saw this as an easy way to attack. He was sick of Buffy telling him that Spike was a good man, and he was needed around for this war. It’s just a matter of time before he turns on us all. Hell he’s probably already aligned with the First. How can Buffy trust him, he’s just a monster. Robin picked up his stake and gripped it tightly in his hand,. He took three long strides toward Spike.

Spike all of a sudden had a new feeling coming over him. He gasped for air, as warmth coursed through him. I need to breathe. My heart’s beating. What the sodding hell?

It didn’t last long, he knew when he felt the horrendous pain of being stabbed in the back. He howled loudly again, and fell forward.

Finally. Robin thought. It’s over…he killed my mother…now I get to kill him. He thoughts stopped when he realized Spike wasn’t getting all dusty. He saw the blood pool onto the base of the tombstone of which Spike fell.

He heard Spike’s choked sobs, and watched as he spit up blood. Maybe I missed. No…he’d be up by now. That’s nothing but a surface scratch to a monster like him.

Spike knew what was coming…and even though all of this was too much to take in at one time…he had to make sure of one thing. He thought he’d have more time than this. What a bloody vengeful bastard.

Spike rolled over to his side a bit, so he could look at the man that stabbed him. “You have-*cough*-you have to tell her. Buffy-*cough* -to watch to tape.” He choked out, hoping not to sound weak, even though he knew he was.

He let his body collapse, onto the stone, and waited for the darkness to come. Again. God, I hate this part.

* * * * *

Buffy sat down on the couch. She had just given the girls a speech. Again. Willow was still gone, she was still mad at Giles, and the potentials were all scared. But she didn’t blame them she was too. She had her doubts about winning this war with the First, but kept them well hid.

Xander, Dawn and a few of the Potentials were in the kitchen, going over everything that happened with Spike, and how they were glad they didn’t have to worry about him going around killing anymore, while Giles had the rest of the girls downstairs going over basic training techniques.

Buffy dropped her head into her hands, breathing in deeply. She was so wrapped up she didn’t even hear Dawn and Xander enter the room.

Buffy’s head shot up, as Dawn’s words shook her out of her jumbled thoughts. “What?”

“I asked if you’re okay. I know that that’s a dumb question, considering everything that’s happened, but-”

“I’m fine. Stressed out I guess. I’m fine. I just want Spike to back from patrol soon.” Buffy sighed out looking out the window.

“You mean: Spike and Robin, right?” Dawn asked, confused why, she would only mention Spike.

“Um, yeah…right.” was her distracted reply, as Buffy continued to search out the window.

“Wait, wait, wait. You sent Spike on patrol with Robin? Don’t you think that’s- oh I don’t know- dangerous!?” Xander practically yelled out the last word, trying to tell Buffy, without actually telling her, that she made a BIG boo-boo.

“Yeah, I mean…Robin tried to kill Spike. Aren’t you a little worried?” Dawn asked.

“No! Dawn…you’re forgetting the fact that Spike...is still a vampire! A bitter one at that, Buffy…Spike hates Robin. And it all stared with that date. Spike would jump at the chance to get him alone. Now since he’s all chip-less, he has nothing to hold him back. Not even you.” Xander said, in an angered tone. This is just what we need. Spike to get all ‘angry ex-boyfriend’.

“Xander! Spike is good now! He won’t hurt anyone…I know he won’t. I already went over this with Giles: He can be good…but not if we keep saying that he can’t! We have to give him that chance…the chance to make amends.” Buffy paused, and then continued in a softer tone. “I need him in this fight, Xander. And I’m not going to turn away from him. He has done so much good since he’s been here, and I trust him. I believe in him. Get over it. Get over this thing you have against Spike, cause he’s staying.” She spoke in a menacing voice. “So Xander, if you have a problem with that…you can leave. Nothing’s stopping you.” After she finished there was a long pause.

“Buffy…I just want to make sure that you’re making the right choices here. Don’t forget who he is.”

Buffy was about to replied, when the door burst open and Robin, walked through. “Hey how was patrol?” Buffy asked as she got up and pushed past Xander and Dawn to make her way to the front door. “Where’s Spike?”

Robin looked confused and guilty to Buffy as her heart started hammering in her chest. “Where. Is. He?” Tears collected in her eyes as the worst thought flashed through her mind. “You didn’t…please tell me you didn’t.”

Robin didn’t answer.

Buffy punched him hard, sending him stumbling into the door. “What happened?! If you don’t tell me I swear to God-”

Buffy was cut off by his soft words. “We were in the cemetery…fighting demons. Then something happened. He fell the ground, like he was in pain…and there was blood, but no dust. I don’t understand.” He said the last part even quieter to himself.

“What did you do? Wait…I think already know. You killed him. I told you…I don’t have time for your vendettas! He was one of the strongest people we have to fight this war, and you had to go and fuck it all up! I can’t believe you…you promised you wouldn’t do anything!” tears were running freely down Buffy’s face and she didn’t make a move to wipe them away. “Spike wasn’t just needed in this war. He was my friend…and I cared about him. He was important to me!” Buffy stopped her rant, and sniffled, wiping her tears away angrily.

“I’m sorry Buffy. He killed my mother…so I made him pay for what he did. He was a monster, Buffy! He was then and he still is now! They don’t change-”

“But he did! Don’t you get it?! Spike wasn’t like other vampires. Yeah, he killed people…a long time ago. But he changed…for me! Because that’s what I wanted! He had a kindness to him that he rarely ever showed to people, but it was there.” Buffy pause. She just told Robin things about Spike that she had been denying for so long. Then it hit her. “Wait…you-you there was no dust? You left him there!? This is not over.” Buffy finished in a deep and angry voice.

Buffy ran out the door forgetting about everything and everyone else and ran to the cemetery.

* * * * *

Buffy ran around the tombstones, in search of her ex-vampire lover. She called out his name in hopes that Spike was still alive.

“Spi-unh!” Buffy’s call was cut off when she tripped over a tombstone. “Ow.” She pushed herself up, and noticed that the stone was covered in blood. She pushed herself into a standing position and looked down at the familiarly leather clad body, lying face down. “Oh, God.” Buffy breathed out, the tears coming back.

She knelt by his side, and noted the stake in his back with rage. She reached over slowly, and pulled it out with a cringe at the sound. She pulled his cold body into her arms, and laid his head in her lap, stroking his hair. Sobs racked her body, as she traced his features.

“Buffy?” she heard a male voice call from a distance. But she didn’t answer. “Oh my God.” The voice was clearer now. Xander.

Buffy looked up at him with hard eyes. “Are you happy now?” she started in an eerily calm tone, despite the tears, and the waver in her voice. “You got what you always wanted…you-” Buffy cut herself off, not being able to get anymore words out past the lump in her throat.

They stayed like that for a while, before Xander helped carry his body home.

* * * * *

When the two got home with Spike, all the girls had gathered around. Buffy completely ignored their questions and went straight to the backyard, to bury his body.

Buffy sat on the couch, in the exactly same spot she sat when she came back from the dead, and Spike held her hands. Her wide eyes looked into nothing, as everything went through her head. Everybody was upstairs in scattered bedrooms, too afraid to go down there. Buffy snapped at Dawn just for asked if she wanted anything, and nobody when near her since.

“Buffy?” Robin stood in the doorway.

“Get. Out.”

“He told me to tell you something.”

“What?”

“He said something about watching a tape…he wanted you to watch the tape.”

“Thanks. Now get the fuck out of my house.” Robin obeyed without any questions asked.

Buffy sat in the silent room thinking about what tape Spike could possibly mean. “Andrew!” she yelled out.

Andrew came running down the stairs, fidgeting with his hands as he walked into the room. “Uh, yeah? I mean yes.”

“Where’s that tape? The videotape you were making; where is it?” Buffy asked without looking up at him.

“Um…In the basement. Spike said that he wanted it for something. But he-he didn’t say.”

“Thanks.” Buffy got up, going past Andrew and walked downstairs to the basement.

“You’re welcome.” Andrew called out after her.

* * * * *

Buffy took the camera in her hands, and pressed the play button.

As the screen turned on, she saw Spike was sitting on the cot, that she too was currently sitting on.

“Um, pet, as much as I hate to admit this: a lot of us will die in this battle. And I have this nagging feeling it’s gunna be me.” He said with a laugh. “But you…I know you’ll beat this. You’ll make it through. A lot has happened over the years between us. We’ve gone from enemies to lovers and back. But one thing will never change…my love for you. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, or where you are…I’ll always love you. And a part of me knows that you love me too…even if you won’t admit it. And if not…well, I’ll just keep that thought, and file it away in the part of my brain mark ‘dream’.”

Buffy chuckled lightly at his joke. “Even at the worst times, you always know how to make me laugh.”

Camera!Spike continued. “You told me once…that you believed in me. It really meant a lot. You knew I could be a good man, and you stood up to your friends to make them see it too.” Tears were starting to accumulate in his eyes. “You brought out someone in me that died a long time ago. Made me do things I wouldn’t normally do…I’d do anything for you, Buffy. Anything just to make sure you were happy.”

Tear fell down Buffy cheeks as she heard those words. Her heart melted, and broke at the same time, and it hurt more than she could bear.

“This is your war, luv. Don’t fight of the First’s terms. Do what you feel is right. Follow your heart, wherever it may lead you. Just-if it’s toward Peaches…walk the other way.”

Buffy smiled. She shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to memorize his voice. She opened them again to remember his face; although that was one thing she knew she’d never forget.

“I love you, Buffy. I’ll always be with you. And I believe in you.” With that Spike leaned forward and shut off the camera.

Buffy closed her eyes, and let the tears fall.

Chapter 2: Suprise

The next day, Buffy had the gang and the potentials search for the reason why Spike wasn’t a big pile of dust. Books were everywhere and Dawn was on the computer searching for anything that could help.

“Oh! Buffy…I think I found something. Well not really but kinda.” Dawn said with a small, happy smile.

“What does it say?” Buffy mumbled looking through a book.

“Well, um…not why it happened, but where you can find out. There are these Oracles that know the meaning for well pretty much everything. But you have to go to L.A. The door is located under the post office.”

“Okay…that I can do.” Buffy jumped up. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Um, you’ll need some supplies to get through the entry. And that’s it, pretty much…just be careful.”

Buffy gathered all the things she needed, and headed out the door.

* * * * *

By the time Buffy got to L.A. it was dark, and she parked Xander’s car by the post office. When she got to the wall she figured was the entry, she set up the supplies and did, as was Dawn had written on the piece of paper she held.

The door opened and the jumped though. She looked around at the Greek look of the room.

“Uh…hello? Oracles?” Buffy called out to the echo-y room.

“You are she.” The female Oracle walked up from the light at the far end of the room.

“She who?”

“The Slayer…you have done great work. We watch you.” She walked closer to Buffy, observing her.

“Um, I heard that there were two of you, you’re brother…is he out or something? Is he the rebel?” Buffy asked jokingly.

“You try to hide you’re pain with laughter, and mockery.” The male oracle asked, appearing behind his sister. “It’s most amusing.”

“I have a few questions, that I need answered. I heard you two were the ones to talk to.” Buffy ignored the males comment, and spoke to the female…she was nice anyway.

“Do you have a gift for us?” the male asked.

“Gift? I-I was suppose to get you a gift?” she sighed. Buffy unclasped the silver chain, with the cross pendant from around her neck. “Damn you Dawn…it was favorite one too.” she mumbled to herself, silently promising to yell at Dawn later for not telling her about this. She tossed the chain to the female.

“A cross. Sign of protection of the damned. I like it.” She said as she examined it.

“You like anything shiny.” The male voiced. “What was your question?”

“Spike. William the Bloody.” Buffy spoke up, a waver in her voice at his name.

“Yes…the second vampire with a soul. Although he was less broody and more cocky.” The male oracle stated.

“Not to mention, very well formed. I’ve always been a sucker for blue eyes.” The female said, with a smile.

“Hey! Can we stop ogling over him and get back to the question at hand? Someone killed him. Staked him…but he didn’t turn to dust. Why?”

“No dust with death. It’s simple…he was not a vampire.” The male declared with a shrug of the shoulders, as he continued to walk aimlessly around the floor.

“But he was…I know he was. This doesn’t make any sense.” Buffy shook her head in confusion.

“He must have been changed.” The female looked over at her brother. “Much like the other.”

“Could quite possibly be. Although very peculiar.” The male responded.

“Wait, what? Possibly be what? What other?” Buffy asked thoroughly confused.

“A demon. Morha Demon.” The female stated.

“Morha? I fought that demon with Angel a long time ago. With the-the red gem, right?” she asked waving her hand around her forehead.

“Yes. This demon has regenerating powers. It’s blood, when the demon is killed, regenerates itself.” The male jumped in.

“So the blood made Spike-?”

“Human.” Both oracles filled in for her at the same time. “But it also means bad news for you, girl.” The male continued.

“And why is that?” she asked with attitude towards the male, hands on her hips.

“William the Bloody was to be a big part of the upcoming apocalypse. You will never make it without him. There will be hundreds upon hundreds-” the female rambled on.

“Yeah I know. I saw it. Look you have to do something then. Bring him back…do whatever you have to, just bring him back to me!” Buffy’s voice cracked with emotion.

“I understand that he was more to you than just a soldier. He was your lover, your friend…but we can’t bring him back for you. That is not our job.” The male claimed.

“Yes it is! You work for the Powers That Be…and I know that they can do this! I need him…please?” Buffy insisted with a slight whine.

“The lady is right, brother.” The female rested her hand on his arm. “We can do this…you just don’t want to. We need this fight to be won, if it is not, the first evil will take over and we will be no more. The side of good will be erased and darkness will coat the earth.” She turned towards Buffy. “We will bring your Spike back…”

Buffy’s face lit up with a bright smile. “Thank you.”

“But…with every action there is a price. We will do this…because he is needed, but his memories of his love for you will be erased.” The male countered boldly.

“What?” Buffy said in a breathless whisper.

“Brother, that is a little far fetched? What ever for?” the Sister Oracle asked with a furrowed brow.

“His love, and care for you will weaken him and we need him at his strongest. That will not happen if his mind is clouded by you.” The Brother forced out in slight anger.

“No…you-you can’t do that! If he didn’t love me, he would never be fighting on my side.” Buffy shot back.

“The past will be altered. Spike will think he has a different reason for the change of sides, and you will be nothing but an ally. All the tears he cried after your death will be washed away, the love he showed you every night will be forgotten, as well as every thought of a relationship with you. Nothing that was effected by his love for you will change…everything will take it’s course the way it had, but his feelings for you will be terminated. You will also carry the memories of what you are to each other and past experiences with you new life without him.” The male continued with a hard look in his eyes.

Buffy had tears building up in her eyes. She may not admit it, but those were memories that she treasured. She wouldn’t give them up for the world. The love he showed her was so strong and she loved hearing him tell her. “What about his soul?”

“That will be kept…although you will not be the reason he earns it back.” the male spoke with an icy tone.

This guy hates me…
“I will not let you rape my mind like that! Those are important memories to me…and I will not give them up like that! Find another way!” Buffy yelled at the both of them.

“I will not let you rape my mind like that! Those are important memories to me…and I will not give them up like that! Find another way!” Buffy yelled at the both of them.
“You can keep the memories, if you wish. But you will be the only one that will know what you had with him.” The female suggested.

“I’d rather have the thought that I had something with him, than not knowing at all. If that’s all it takes to bring him back…I’ll do it.” Buffy said, her voice stronger than she felt.

“Granted” the two spoke at the same time.

A white flash surrounded the room, and Buffy was pulled through the wall, and back to the underground of the post office.

“Well…here we go.” Buffy collected her things, and headed back to the car.

* * * * *

“Hello, Dawn? Xander? I’m home.” Buffy called out into the house.

“Oh, hey…how was Willie’s? Find anything?” Dawn asked as she bounced into the room from the kitchen.

“Um, no…no. Is Spike here, is he okay?” Buffy asked with hesitation.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty much ready to rip off the heads of the shrieking girls upstairs. Make a bloke go sixes and sevens, they can. Hey Slayer, how was-” Spike was cut off as Buffy practically threw herself into his arms, hugging him tight.

Spike was completely taken back, as well as half of the others in the room. He awkwardly patted her back. “I see they did the same to you, pet. You alright…what kinda drugs did that Willie put in your drink? I can kill him if you want me to.”

Buffy finally pulled away, with a embarrassed blush. “Um, no. Sorry…I-uh-sorry.”

“It’s okay…just uh…caught me off guard is all.” Spike reassured with a smile. “You’ve never done that before.”

Tears were ready to drop when she heard that. She knew he wouldn’t remember but, him not knowing what they had hurt. Losing him brought things to the surface. It helped her see how much Spike had done for her and how much she really cared for him. Possibly even…love him?

“Yeah…I guess.” Her voice sounded distracted and unsure.

“Buff? You okay…you’re actin all unfocusy. Somethin wrong?” Xander put a hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

“Um, yeah…mhmm, I-I’m okay. Fine. Great even.” Buffy rambled. “I need to sit down.” She walked downstairs and into the basement and sat on the cot.

Everyone went about there old tasks and let their leader be, thinking she must just be stressed from all the pressure.

* * * * *
Spike walked into the basement an hour later to see Buffy still on the cot. He noticed that she had the bloody video camera that Andrew kept carrying around everywhere. What is wrong with her…she looks like she just lost her best friend?

“Hey, luv.” Spike sat down next to her.

“Hey…” Buffy didn’t look up at him knowing it would be too hard. She kept her eyes on the camera, and watched the part of what would have been Spike’s last words to her. Instead it was just Andrew and the big white board.

“You sure you’re okay? I mean, you looked a little…lost, upstairs.” Spike tried gently.

“I kinda am…I just lost the one person that helped me through my hardest times…someone I’ll never be able to get back.” a tear fell from her eye, as she put the camera down and look at the floor.

“Who?”

Buffy took a deep breath before starting. “There was this guy…after I died he was there for me. He did everything he could to make sure I was okay. And he loved me. I didn’t appreciate it then, and I shot him down so many times, hurt him so many times. And now he’s gone…and I feel bad that I could never tell him before how much he meant to me.” Her voice disappeared as the lump in her throat grew.

It was silent for a moment before Buffy continued. “It was you…you were ‘the guy’.” She whispered, looking up at him for the first time.

“Um, I don’t mean to sound like a git, Slayer- but…I think I would remember if I loved you. When you came back, all I ever did was help out with Dawn, I never-“ Spike cut himself off, deciding to take a different path. “What do you mean gone?” What the hell...might as well play along.

“They were taken away.” The blonde exhaled loudly. “The memories, the thoughts…everything between us-all gone.” Buffy went on to explain everything from when he died to when she came back from the Oracles. Buffy told him that she knew what their relationship now was and everything that was re-written. She explained that they had a relationship a year ago, and even though he doesn’t remember it…it was real.

“Huh.” Was Spike’s reaction, after all was said. “Well…I guess it’s nice to know you feel the same way.” He replied nonchalantly.

“Wait, what?”

“Buffy…are you telling me, you actually believe that I worked beside you all this time just cause of the bloody chip? No…the chip didn’t make me want to be good you did. I just wanted to be around you…I’d do whatever it took. But you never noticed. You just wanted to be friends and I respected that…I took whatever I could get.” Spike rested his hand on her knee, rubbing soothing circles. “When you hugged me earlier…I though for sure maybe you finally felt like I did.”

“So, all this time…you felt the way I did? Still love me?” her voice sounded small and vulnerable.

“Of course…you heard the tape didn’t you?” Spike said with a smirk.

“What…you-you re-remember?! How do you…oh God.” Buffy smiled big and brought him into a crushing hug. “How?”

“Well…you went to see the Oracles right? Well apparently, the girly has a little crush on me? She called for my soul while I was dead, and when I came to see her…she told me that we were stronger when we were together…and that erasing the memories will weaken you. She went behind her brother’s back and decided to help a bloke out.” Spike said with a smug smile.

“And that’s all it took?” she asked pulling away.

“Well, yeah that and I promised her next time I was in an alternate dimension to give her a call.” Buffy slapped his chest playfully. And that’s when she felt it.

“Oh…my…God!” Buffy felt the steady beat of his heart under her hand, and relished in the feel of it.

“Surprise.”



A/N: okay well that's the end of it...it was kind of jumbled in my head...so if you don't get it let me know and i'll fix it up mmk! it was just an idea I had while watching "Storyteller" and i thought i'd wright it out. Thanks for reading...please review!