Spike hesitated in front of the house on Revello drive. Lighting the cigarette hanging from his lips, he inhaled deeply closing his eyes. He hated this place; he hated this entire bloody town. It was a constant reminder of all that he had lost. Every day since her death, all he wanted was a way to end the pain. Most nights he could find temporary solace at the bottom of a bottle, but not tonight. Tonight she needed him.

His single reason for ever being sober was the promise that he had made on that fateful night. The promise to protect her sister…till the end of the world. In the end that promise had saved his life. After seeing her jump off of the tower, the only thing stopping him from meeting the rising sun was his need to comfort the shattered teen that she had left behind.

In the months since that night, Spike was the one person that had put her needs first. Sure Red and Glinda had moved in and taken over the daily responsibilities. Giles had taken measures to conceal Buffy’s death so the state didn’t move in to take custody of the girl. And Xander…well Spike had yet to see his contribution to the group, but when all was said and done it was the soulless vampire who understood Dawn’s pain. He was the only one who shared her pain.

They had mourned together; clinging to one another like a lifeline. The others were too caught up in their own lives to see the depth of Dawn’s despair. His Nibblet, however, had become his life. So tonight when she had called on the cell phone Giles had provided, he promptly put down his bottle and hurried to Revello Drive.

Taking a final drag on his cigarette, Spike tossed it aside and made his way toward the door. He didn’t need his enhanced hearing to know that the Scoobies were arguing. He was about to knock when the door was flung open. Dawn launched herself into his arms and began to sob uncontrollably.

“See I told you he would come,” she cried against his leather clad chest.

“Dawnie, I told you not to call Spike…we can work this out.” Willow softly admonished the teen.

“It’s okay,” Spike whispered quietly to the sobbing teen, ignoring the witch.

Taking her face in his hands he gently wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Wha’s the matter Bit?”

“They were going to have some big Scooby meeting and Anya was going to stay here with me, but she got mad for being excluded so then they were all fighting over what to do…and I told them you wouldn’t mind…” Dawn rambled

Spike hugged the teen reassuringly, angered by the groups actions. The last thing the shattered girl needed was to feel like a burden in her own home.

“Where’s Giles?” Spike asked raising an eyebrow, noting his absence.

They just stared at him slack jawed until Willow finally spoke up.

“He couldn’t come,” Willow informed him.

“You’re having a big Scooby meeting without the watcher?” Spike asked in disbelief.

“It’s not really an official Scooby meeting,” Xander offered nervously.

“Right,” Spike said not even wanting to hear the rest. “Listen…I’m here now, just go on with your meeting, and I’ll sit here with the Nibblet.” Spike waved them off.

“Th-Thank you Spike,” Tara smiled shyly.

Spike could never manage to be angry at the blond Wicca. He knew she really cared for Dawn, even if she never seemed to find her voice to speak up against her lover.

“No problem, Glinda,” Spike smiled.

********************

When the Scoobies had all left, leaving their list of instructions for Spike, he turned toward the moping teen.

“So you want to tell me why you really called?” Spike asked.

“What? I told you they were fighting and…”

“Nibblet you don’t have to lie; not to me,” Spike reassured her.

Dawn’s lip began to tremble as her eyes once again filled with tears. “They blame me,” she cried, slumping down on the couch.
“They what? They said that?” Spike grabbed her arms enraged at her admission.

“No…they never came out and said it, but that is only because they never talk to me. They talk at me and around me. I can just see it in their eyes, Spike. Who could blame them…it is my fault. It should have been me who died,” the teen sobbed.

Spike shook her gently by the arms in an attempt to get her to listen to him. “No! That is not true Dawn. Your sister…” Spike sighed, letting out a ragged, unneeded breath, “Buffy made a choice. She wanted you to live.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore…in this house. I know you hate it too. You think I don’t see you standing outside, dreading coming in here?”

“It’s hard, Bit…but I wouldn’t stop. I’ll always come here…for you,” Spike answered honestly.

“Then take me away, Spike. Let’s leave Sunnydale. You are the only family I have left. You never make me feel like…I’m not real…Please, Spike,” she begged.

Spike took the crying girl in his arms. She was like family to him now. He loved her like she was his own flesh and blood. There was nothing he would like more than to leave this town forever, taking the girl with him, but he knew they would never allow them to leave.

“You know I can’t …I would if I could,” Spike murmured stroking her hair.

Dawn cried, holding on tighter. She knew he was right. Her sister’s friends would never let them leave. Though they didn’t really even care about her, they loved patting themselves on the back at the tremendous sacrifice they were making.

“I just want to know when the pain will go away, Spike,” The girl cried against his chest.

As the tears started to flow down his face, Spike closed his eyes drawing a ragged unneeded breath.

“So do I Dawn…so do I”


**********************


As the Scoobies sat in the Magic Box, Tara was the first one to speak.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t tell Giles and Spike about this? I m-mean they really did love Buffy and…”

She was abruptly cut off by Xander. “Spike never loved her! He had some kind of sick obsession with her! And Giles, he wouldn’t understand.”

“B-but what he’s done for Dawn…” Tara tried. She was again cut off, this time by her lover.

“No, Tara! No one else can know.” Willow said trying to control her irritation at her girlfriend’s insistence to defend Spike.

“We need to keep this between the three…four of us” she corrected herself, scowling toward Anya.

“Are you sure we should do this, Will? I mean I miss Buffy, too, but…” Xander started.

“Xander…she is stuck in some Hell dimension! We can’t just leave her there!” Willow reminded him. “I mean do you really think she would just leave us stuck in Hell?”
Xander looked down sheepishly “No…of course she wouldn’t. What’s the plan, Will?”

Willow smiled triumphantly “Okay, then it’s set. We do this the next full moon.”

Willow pulled the box from under the bed, sighing to herself. She was happy that things had turned out this way. Giles had decided to go back to England, and though it had saddened her, she couldn’t help but feel relieved. Sure, Giles had been her friend, her mentor even, but he would never have condoned what she was planning. He just doesn’t understand, she thought.

He wouldn’t have faith in her ability to pull such a spell off. Willow smiled; pretty soon Buffy would be back, and everyone would be amazed and awestruck at the power she possessed. She was no longer geeky little Willow, the butt of everyone’s jokes. She had power, real power that only a few possessed. She shivered with excitement, thinking of the spell she was preparing for.

None of the others, not even Tara, truly understood how dangerous and difficult the power she was invoking could be. They would only worry, she assured herself. Once it was all over and her friend was safe, she would reveal just what she had accomplished.

Gathering her things she made her way out the door. It was time to start the preparations.

*********************

After carefully scanning the area, Willow knelt on the blanket. She poured the herbs from the small pot onto the ground.

“Adonai, Helomi, Pine .The gods do command thee from thy majesty. O Mappa Laman, Adonai, Helomi. Come forward, blessed one. Know your calling.” She said, closing her eyes.

A young deer walked around a tree and directly over to her. Willow stroked the fawn gently, as she placed her arm around its back. The witch grabbed a large knife lying beside her on the blanket, and thrust it in the fawn’s throat. The animals struggled for a moment, and then eventually stopped.

The redhead gasped, as tears filled her eyes. Blood flowed freely down her hands from the wound on the young fawn neck.

“Accept our humble gratitude for your offering. In death ... you give life. May you find wings to the kingdom,” Willow drew a shaky breath, unable to look at the fawn’s body, lying discarded on the ground beside her.



*********************


Spike paced the lower level of his crypt impatiently. The hour just before sunset was always the worst. Slumping down on the bed, he patted his pocket, searching for his cigarettes. He was worried about his Nibblet. He couldn’t believe the watcher had gone back to the mother country. Bloody wanker, Spike grumbled. Giles was the one person in the group he could count on. Giles kept the witches and the whelp in line. Not that Spike could blame him; he ached to leave this town too, but he knew he never would, not as long as Dawn needed him.

When the sun had finally set, he grabbed the bundles from the dresser and headed for the door. Making his away across the cemetery, he stopped, dropping to his knees. Looking up at the tombstone in front of him, he carefully removed the dying flowers and replaced them with the fresh ones.

“’Lo Joyce,” he sighed. “I’m doin’ my best to watch over her, like I promised.” Spike let out an unneeded breath, “I let you down once…won’t do it again.”

It was always the same speech. Spike hoped if he told her enough, she would somehow forgive him for letting her eldest die. He used to visit her grave long before the new one was dug beside her. Ever since her death, he had promised to watch over her girls. He had failed.

For a long time after the slayer’s death, he hadn’t been able to approach Joyce’s grave. Until one night while fighting a vamp, when he was shoved face first into it. The flowers had all withered and vines had begun to cover the stone. He was ashamed to think he had allowed that to happen.


Turning toward the headstone beside Joyce’s, Spike felt his chest tighten. He lowered his eyes, unable to bring himself to read her name. He needed no reminder of who lay beneath the ground. Her name was always on his lips, her scent seemed to be everywhere, as if mocking him, and her face haunted his dreams. Placing the fresh flowers gently on the grass, he sighed.

“The Watcher left. I guess you being gone has been pretty hard on him, on all of us. I…I’m on my way over to sit with Ni…Dawn. I’ve been helping her with her studies. Making sure she keeps up. I know you probably never figure me for much of a thinker but…” Spike let out a dry, shuddering chuckle. “I just wish I knew what to say to her. I try so hard, but I always feel like I’m sayin’ or doin the wrong thing. I guess I just need you here to set me straight…punch me in the nose…God, what I wouldn’t give for even that right now,” Spike whispered as tears fell from his eyes.

Spike cleared his throat, “I’m keeping my promise. No matter how hard it gets, I won’t let you down…I’ll keep her safe,” his voice was thick with emotion as he spoke

He sobbed softly, running his fingers over the smooth, cool surface of the carved granite. He finally raised his head, tracing her name. Spike caressed the inscription, praying to a God he didn’t believe in that somehow she knew…

He pleaded that somehow she could see that he was keeping his vow. Spike wanted desperately to be the man she inspired him to be, not the monster who had come to Sunnydale to kill her. In life, she had compelled him to go against his nature, but it was her death that had forever changed him.

His calloused fingers rubbed the moisture from his swollen eyes as he stood and faced the tomb. Can’t be sitting here all night crying like a bloody wanker, I got a girl to protect, he reminded himself, lighting a smoke. With a quick bow of his head, he turned and started towards Revello Drive.




********************




Kneeling before their fallen friend’s grave, Anya, Xander, and Tara all lit their candles. Willow could feel their fear, but paid it no mind. She had come too far, done too much for anyone to stop the ritual from happening. She carefully poured the fawn’s blood in the Urn of Osiris and began her chant.

“Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us,” Willow said, marking herself with the animal’s blood.

Tara and Xander looked startled at her actions. Unlike Anya, they were unaware of the sacrifice needed for the ritual.

“Before time, and after. Before knowing and nothing,” she continued, pouring the contents of the urn onto the earth.

Willow’s arms suddenly darted out to her sides. Deep cuts began to appear up and down her extended limbs, causing her to cry out.

“What’s happening? Will…” Xander cried, moving toward his friend.

“No!” Tara yelled halting him, “She t - she told me ... she'd be tested. This is supposed to happen.”

Willow continued, unfazed by the blood now dripping down her arms, “Accept our offering. Know our prayer. Osiris! Here lies the warrior of the people. Let her cross over.”

Willow hissed in pain as something began moving under her skin. Her friends watched in horror as her eyes rolled, turning black.

“Planto is sic is eram nunquam mortuus,” Willow commanded.

“We have to do something,” Xander pleaded, his voice trembling with fear.

“Xander, she's strong! She said not to stop, no matter what. If we break the cycle now, it's over,” Tara reassured him, trying desperately to swallow her own fear.

Willow suddenly jerked forward putting her hands on the ground, gagging. A snake head suddenly appeared in her open mouth. Crying out in pain, her fingers desperately clutched at the ground. The snake slowly slithered out her mouth and across the graveyard.

“That…what…no, that’s wrong,” Willow gasped, looking around wildly, before collapsing.

“Willow! Oh no! Not now!” Xander screamed, as he noticed three vampires approaching the group.

“Oh look…dinner,” one of the vampires hissed.

“I don’t think it is dinnertime,” a voice said from behind them

Xanders eyes widen “Buffy…” he whispered.

“No Xander…it’s just the bot,” Tara replied sadly.

The bot started to fight the vampires, as Tara and Anya moved the unconscious Willow out of the way. Xander grabbed the stakes from his bag and started to help in the fight.



*****************



Not far away, down in the dank, dark cave, the girl’s eyes fluttered open. Coughing and spitting the dirt from her mouth, she slowly attempted to stand. Her legs felt wobbly and weak. She looked around, furrowing her brow where am I? Everything looks different, but the same.

Her eyes suddenly widened The Master. She had to find him before he could hurt her friends. She discarded her broken heels, and hurried towards the cave’s entrance.



There seems to be some confusion. I just wanted to clarify for everyone, At the end of season one Buffy was killed by the Master. She ended up surviving because Xander did CPR. Willow's spell to bring Buffy back from the dead(During season 6 Bargaining), accidentlally brings that Buffy back, As if Xander never revived her. She (Buffy) believes it is four years earlier.

Buffy raced through the dark streets towards the high school, silently cursing her choice to face The Master in her prom dress. The rough pavement cut her bare feet, but she had no time to worry about that; her friends were in danger. Rounding the corner she came to a sudden halt, gasping for breath. The school was…gone. Not destroyed, just a pile of dirt scattered with bulldozers and large piles of building materials. Her eyes widened when she noticed the sign: Future home of the new Sunnydale High.

Buffy panicked looking around at the surrounding buildings. Even though she was certain that she was in the right place, she couldn’t shake the feeling that everything around her was…different. After a few moments of staring blankly at the construction site, she turned and slowly walked away.


Buffy moved aimlessly down the darkened sidewalks, not realizing her destination until she rounded the corner of Revello Drive. At least my house is still here, she mused with a sigh as she slowly made her way up the steps and through the front door.


*********************

Spike flipped through the channels; his eyes were on the screen, but his thoughts were miles away. Dawn had gone off to bed, and now he was alone in the house. It was bad enough when everyone was there to distract him, but now in the silence of the living room, the past haunted him.


He was thankful when he heard the door open. Tossing the remote on the table, he grabbed his duster and started toward the door. The bot he cringed, quickly dropping his gaze. He could barely stand to look at the machine he had helped create.

“The Scoobies aren’t here. You should just…” he stopped suddenly snapping his head up.

He heard her heartbeat. He looked at the frightened girl in front of him barely able to believe his eyes. Raising his nose to the air her sweet scent assaulted his senses. He cocked his head to the side, something was different. She looked tired and scared, but also younger. As her chest heaved he immediately noticed the fullness of her breasts. At this moment he didn’t care what was different she was here…alive.

Buffy” he whispered her name reverently.

Buffy’s eyes widened when she saw the man rise from the couch and approach her. Even in her apprehension there was no denying his good looks. He had a shock of blond curls; his features were strong and masculine. His black T-shirt hugged his rippling muscles in all the right places. As her inspection drifted up to his stormy blue eyes, his expression left her breathless.

He was looking at her like…there were no words to describe it because no one had ever looked at her that way. Her face flushed under his intense gaze as his eyes raked hungrily over her body, and then he spoke her name. The words fell off his tongue like a caress.

“You…you know me?” She managed in a shaky voice.


He chuckled nervously, moving towards her “Know you? Buffy I…”

His words were cut off by the door opening. Xander and Tara helped a weak and bloodied Willow through the door, with Anya following close behind. The witch was mumbling and struggling, trying to free herself.

“You don’t understand. Something went wrong. We have to go back.” she pleaded.

The blondes reluctantly broke eye contact, turning towards the group. Snapping out of her daze, Buffy gasped when she saw the gashes on her friend’s arms.

“Oh my God, Will, are you okay?” she asked, rushing towards her friend.

“How did the bot beat us back here?” Tara asked.

“And where did she get that awful dress?” Anya gasped.

“She’s not the bot,” Spike whispered.

Buffy ignored the strangers’ questions, turning towards her friends.

“I was so worried! I went to the cave and The Master…we fought and then I went to the school and it’s gone…” Buffy began babbling.

She was interrupted by Xander, “Did it get hit in the head again?” He turned towards the group, chuckling.

“She is not the bloody bot!” Spike roared, startling the group.

“It…she has a heartbeat…she is…Buffy,” he added, softening his tone.

The group gaped at Buffy, and for a long moment no one spoke, no one even moved. Xander’s eyes widened in realization.

“The dress…what she said about The Master. Tell me again what you said,” he ordered the confused girl.


“I went to fight the Master, and he…bit me…” Buffy briefly paused when she heard a low growl erupt from the blond behind her. “I fell into a …puddle or something. The next thing I remember is waking up alone with dirt in my mouth.”

Xander turned to Willow, horrified. “That is exactly how I found her the night she died.”

“Whoa…” Buffy protested. “I may have been unconscious, but not dead. See here I am…alive and kicking.” She smiled, unable to comprehend the impact her words had on the group before her.


Xander’s eyes filled with tears as he placed his hands on her arms. “Buffy, that was four years ago,” he whispered.

“What? You’re saying I’ve been down in that cave for four years?” Buffy looked at him in disbelief.

“No, Xander saved you that night. He has told me about it many, many times,” Anya chirped.

Buffy was about to speak when Willow stepped forward cutting her off.

“None of that matters now! Buffy is home where she belongs,” she smiled, embracing her friend.

“Jeez, can you guys keep it down? Teenager in need of her sleep here.” Dawn yawned, rubbing her eyes.

Buffy looked up to the top of the stairs at the young girl. She was tall and thin with long brown hair. She was certain she had never laid eyes on the girl before, but something inside warmed at the sight of her. One word kept repeating in her head…family.

“What happened to the bot and why is she wearing that ugly dress.” Dawn asked.

“Hey!” Buffy narrowed her eyes at the teen.

“It’s not the bot, Bit,” Spike choked out.

Dawn looked confused for a moment, then tentatively walked down the steps towards Buffy.

“Buffy?” she cried.


Tara took a step forward. “She isn’t our Buffy, Dawnie. I mean, she doesn’t remember…”

“She is our Buffy, just from four years ago,” Xander quickly corrected.

Dawn turned toward her sister, smiling hesitantly. “Do you remember me?” she asked hopefully.

Buffy could see the hurt in the young girl’s eyes, but she couldn’t reassure her. “I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

When no one spoke, Spike stepped forward. “She’s your little sis,” he told her, putting a protective arm around Dawn.

Buffy couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at his actions. She wanted to argue that she had no sister, but in her current state she wasn’t sure of anything.

“I…I’m just really tired and confused right now,” Buffy admitted.

“Sure, I…I understand.” Dawn smiled knowing the last thing her sister needed was for her to break down.

“Listen, it’s been a long night. Why don’t we just get a good night sleep and talk tomorrow? Okay?” Willow suggested, breathing a sigh of relief when everyone quickly agreed.

“Right then, I’ll be going.” Spike nodded walking out the door.

“Wait!” Buffy called out, louder than she had intended.

When he turned toward her she quickly blushed. Good going Buffy why don’t you just drool all over the guy?

“You never told me your name,” Buffy said quietly.

Cocking his head to the side and smiling, he said, “I’m Spike.”

Buffy stuck her hand out, beaming. “I’m Buffy, nice to meet you.”

Spike chuckled, looking up at her shyly. “I know who you are, pet.”

Pet she swooned. “I’m sorry I don’t remember,” she admitted, ducking her head.

“It’s okay. Well…good night then, and Buffy?” She looked up, meeting his warm gaze, “Welcome home.”

Buffy watched him walk down the path and off into the night. When she turned around, she noticed her sister standing behind her. She could hear the others talking in hushed voices in the livingroom

“Oh God, I guess it’s pretty uncool of me to be ogling my sister’s boyfriend.” Buffy admitted.

“What? Spike…ew gross, he’s like my brother!” Dawn exclaimed.


Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh, wonderful! On top of everything else, now I’m lusting over my own brother!”

Dawn giggled. “I said he is like my brother. Besides, he would never even look at anyone else. He is totally in love with you.”

Buffy blushed, “Really?”

Xander stepped angrily between the giggling girls. “You’re leaving out the oh-so-important fact that Spike is an evil, soulless vampire!”

“Xander!” Both Tara and Dawn exclaimed in unison.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “There was a vampire here alone in the house with my mom and sister?”

Dawn opened her mouth, then closed it quickly when Buffy’s words sunk in. Tara, seeing the teen’s face contort in pain, quickly stepped in.

“Spike ha..has a chip. It makes it impossible for him to hurt humans,” Tara explained.

“And he has been helping us all summer, ever since you…” Anya was cut off by Willow.

“Listen, maybe we should just save all this for tomorrow. Remember…we decided to go to sleep,” Willow intervened.

“No!” Dawn spoke up in a choked voice.

The brunette walked slowly up to her sister, taking her hands. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. “Buffy, there is something you need to know. Our mom is dead.”

Buffy tapped her pen on the table as she absentmindedly turned the pages of the large, old text. She sighed, glancing at her friends. Everyone else was diligently researching, but she had never been research girl. So much had changed. Looking around the Magic Box, she silently pouted. She missed the old school library, and she missed Giles.

She had been up talking to Dawn and Willow until the wee hours of the morning. The news of her mother’s death had hit her hard. She had cried in her sister’s arms as the redhead assured her it had been quick and painless.

She had felt an immediate bond with her sister. They cried and laughed like they had known each other all their lives. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Willow had stayed awake more to control the direction of their conversation than to actually be involved in it, however.

Willow’s clipped tone and subtle reprimands had come to as a surprise to Buffy. Her friend had always been so sweet and accommodating, and the witch before her was anything but.

She watched the redhead, who was sitting next to her girlfriend. There’s one I didn’t see coming, Buffy thought. But she had to admit that she had immediately liked the soft spoken Wicca. Her eyes drifted to Xander; the skinny teenager now almost resembled a man. But he too had changed…hardened.

Buffy noticed that all of their eyes were suddenly focused on her pen. Buffy blushed, realizing she was annoying her friends.

“I…I’m going to go get some air,” Buffy announced, rising from her chair. Walking out the door and into the alley, she let out an aggravated grunt.

Buffy heard a low chuckle come from the corner of the alley. Walking back towards the sound, she saw the familiar blond vamp through a haze of cigarette smoke.

“Rough day with the Scoobies?” Spike asked, giving her an encouraging smile.


He looked different in the light of day. His loose curls were gelled back, giving him a more dangerous edge. He was wearing a long, flowing black leather coat that made him appear larger than he actually was.

“Is it okay for you to be out…during the day? You know…” she asked shyly.

His smile instantly faded. He shouldn’t have been surprised that one of the Scoobies had been quick to inform her of his undead status. Probably the whelp, Spike guessed.

“I’m fine. I just stay in the shadows and travel through the sewers,” he informed her, pointing to the manhole cover behind them. “So, big meeting going on in there?”

“We’re just doing some research.” Buffyexplained.

Spike raised a scarred brow “ You were researching?”

Buffy shuffled uncomfortably like a child getting caught in a lie “I research…well, I would if I knew what they are researching.”

Spike furrowed his brow, “They didn’t tell you what they’re researching?”

Buffy sighed, walked up to where Spike was standing, and hopped up on the crate beside him.

“Can I ask you a question?” Buffy asked, turning towards him.


Spike looked up at the girl beside him. She seemed so open and relaxed. There wasn’t the slightest hint of disgust or irritation in her voice. He could have never imagined her looking at him with those big innocent eyes…Spike was jolted from his thoughts by her hand waving in front of his face.

“Hello…earth to Spike,” Buffy giggled.

“Sorry, luv, what were you saying?” Spike turned his head quickly, looking down at his boots.

“I was asking if you knew what happened to me,” Buffy asked.

Spike’s head snapped up. She didn’t know that she had died. Bloody wankers! he thought as he started pacing the alley. Running a nervous hand through his hair, he sighed. Should he be the one to tell her? Why hadn’t her friends told her? He was beyond annoyed and more than a little suspicious of their motives.

“Spike, are you okay?” Buffy asked. The blond vampire was pacing like a caged animal. She thought maybe she had done something to anger him. “Did I…say something wrong?” she whispered.

Spike suddenly stopped, looking at the small blond and sighing. “No, I’m just a bit surprised they didn’t tell you anything.”

Buffy bowed her head. “They told me…stuff. They told me about my mom and how my dad just stopped talking to me. They told me Giles left and went back to England.” Buffy voice cracked. Spike could see the unshed tears in her eyes. “Dawn told me how Angel turned evil and that I killed him. And that now he’s some detective in L.A.” Buffy shrugged.

“But they didn’t tell you about you?” Spike asked softly.

“No,” she whispered, looking up as the tears began to fall. “Will you…tell me?”

Spike sighed, closing his eyes. He walked over, sitting beside her on the crate.

“You died,” he managed to choke out.

“I know the Master…Xander saved me blah blah.” Buffy waved her hand.

Spike let out a dry laugh, “No, I mean…again.” The last part was barely audible as he felt his chest tightening at the mere mention of her death.

“How?” Buffy breathed.

Spike let out a long unneeded breath, “Well, your sis, she’s…”

“A big ball of green energy made of my blood. Sent to me by the monks to protect?” Buffy smiled, but he could clearly see the smile did not reach her eyes.

Spike chuckled “Yeah, well…there was this hell god that wanted to use Dawn’s blood to open some portal to her hell dimension.”

“A hell god?” Buffy looked at him skeptically.

“Glory. I…we…tried to save the Nibblet, but…I really tried…” Spike paused as his eyes fell shut.

“But apparently we did save her,” Buffy offered.

Spike looked up at her. “No, you saved her. You jumped in the portal in her place. You saved the world…and died doing it.”

A cold shiver went up Buffy’s spine. She had died twice. Why was Willow trying to keep this from me? she wondered. “How long was I…”

“One hundred and forty seven days. Would have been One hundred forty eight today, but…today doesn’t count, does it?” Spike smiled.

Buffy hopped off of the crate and turned to the vampire. Taking his hands, she felt them tremble. She looked into his eyes and couldn’t help but feel drawn in. He was looking at her like that again. It was the same way he had looked at her last night, when she had walked through her front door. Like nothing else in the world mattered, and in that moment she understood why.

“Spike…what were we to each other…before I…”

Her words were interrupted by the alley door swinging open.

“Buffy?” Willow called in a panicked voice.

Spike abruptly pulled his hands back, stuffing them in his pockets. Buffy turned toward her friend and stepped out of the shadows.

“I’m right here, Willow,” Buffy announced, slightly annoyed by her friends interruption.

“Oh, Buffy, you were gone for so long. We were starting to worry.” Willow furrowed her brow.

“I was just talking to Spike.” Buffy said turning around just in time to see the lid slide back over the man hole. Spike was gone.

“What’s going on?” Xander appeared at the door.

“Buffy was out here talking to Spike,” Willow replied.

“What is Captain Peroxide doing here in the middle of the day? Listen, Buffy, you have to watch out for him. He has some kind of…weird obsession with you.” Xander scowled.

Buffy walked to the door narrowing her eyes at Xander. “Well, that sounds kind of strange coming from you. ”

Buffy walked back inside hearing her friends scramble in behind her.

“I mean it, Buffy…he’s dangerous,” Xander warned.

Buffy whirled around. “Oh, really? Tell me this Xander, if he’s so dangerous, then why is he the only one willing to tell me the truth?”

“What do you mean, tell you the truth?” Willow asked, wide eyed.

“That I died…again. Why wouldn’t you want me to know that? Did you somehow bring me back? What happened?” Buffy looked to her friend, confused.

“Buffy, I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. It’s just…something in the spell went…kind of wrong,” Willow confessed.

“Wrong?” Buffy asked.

“N-not really wrong, wrong…j-just kind of…not exactly as planned wrong,” Tara jumped in.

“We were just trying to figure out what happened,” Willow said quickly

“I can tell you what happened,” Anya announced, walking into the Magic Box.

“Please, An, this isn’t the time,” Xander snapped.

“Wait…I want to hear what she has to say,” Buffy said, defending the pouting blond.

Anya flashed her a quick smile “Well, I’ve been thinking about the spell and the part where Willow said, ‘Planto is sic is eram nunquam mortuus’, which loosely translated means ‘make as though she were never dead’. Now, in most cases that wouldn’t be such a big deal, but Buffy had already died once…”

“Are you trying to say the spell kind of…changed time?” Buffy asked.

“But that doesn’t make sense, because it didn’t erase the past four years. We’re all still the same,” Xander said, frowning.

“B-but what if created some kind of dimensional split?” Tara offered.

“Like two Buffy’s?” Anya asked.

“In a sense, that’s exactly what it would mean,” Tara said solemnly.

Buffy’s eyes widened as the group went deadly silent. For a long moment no one moved, and no one spoke.

Willow walked numbly away from the others to face the front of the store. “That means our Buffy could still be trapped in some hell dimension,” she mumbled.

Buffy punched the vampire, sending him sprawling head first into the tombstone. She knew she should just stake him, but the past couple days had frustrated her beyond the point of rational thought. Ever since the discovery that she was from the past, she couldn’t help but feel as if everyone was studying her every move. As if they were judging to see if she was behaving like ‘their Buffy’ would.

So tonight, when Willow had questioned her about her choice of soda, Buffy had snapped, storming out of her own house.

She needed to patrol anyway. She had been back for four days and had yet to stake a vamp. Walking over to the snarling vampire Buffy narrowed her eyes, plunging Mr. Pointy deep in his chest. She coughed as dust filled her lungs.

“You’re supposed to keep your mouth shut when you do that, pet,” she heard a voice behind her comment.

Buffy whirled around and saw Spike smirking. Buffy narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, well you can add that to the list of things that I’ve done wrong lately.”

Spike held up his hands. “Whoa, luv, no need to get your knickers in a twist.”

“My who in a what?” Buffy asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Spike couldn’t help but burst onto laughter. Buffy let out a frustrated grunt and turned to walk away.

Spike ran after her, grabbing her arm. “Hey wha’s the matter?”

Buffy sighed, turning around. Spike saw the unshed tears in her eyes. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you…it’s my friends.”

Spike cocked his head to the side. He was stunned that the slayer was actually apologizing to him. “Wanna talk about it?”

Buffy looked up at the blond vamp. There was such caring and understanding in his eyes. “Am I…that much different than the ‘other Buffy’?”

Spike snorted shaking his head, “luv, there is only one Buffy. You may not have the same memories or experiences, but you’re still you.”

“But the spell went wrong. I‘m not the same.” Buffy’s voice cracked as she explained.

“Bloody magic always has consequences. Just give ‘em some time to adjust. They’ll suss it out…you’ll see.” Spike smiled reassuringly.

Buffy couldn’t help but feel comforted by his words. “You want to patrol with me?”

Spike raised an eyebrow, “you want me to patrol with you?”

“Well…yeah, didn’t you use to patrol with me? Dawn said…”

Spike chuckled, “Nibblet is rewriting history a bit, luv.”

“Oh.” Buffy’s face fell. “If you don’t want to…”

“Never said that…let’s go.” Spike turned and started walking.

“Go where?” Buffy called after him.

“Patrol…isn’t that what we were just talking ‘bout?”

“Yeah right…patrol.” Buffy blushed, running after the vampire.


********************


Buffy found patrolling with Spike a very different experience than it had been with Angel. Where Angel seemed to like playing the hero, showing off his brawn, Spike simply sat back and let Buffy take control. Occasionally they would encounter a group of vampires, but even then, he would simply be at her side following her lead.

Buffy had been both hurt and shocked to find out about Angel. As much as it hurt her to hear about him turning evil and the cruelty that followed, knowing that he had left her after everything they had been through had been the most difficult thing to accept. The two most important men in her life were no longer in her life: her father and the man she’d thought she was in love with.


Being here now with Spike, Buffy had to admit she felt more at ease than she ever had with Angel. In this time of turmoil, he had been the only one she truly felt she could talk to. It was almost as if he had the ability to know exactly what to say to her to make her feel better. Was it possible that this soulless vampire was the one who really knew her best?

“Well, that was the last cemetery,” Spike said, breaking her from her thoughts.

“Oh…well, thanks for going with me,” Buffy smiled.

“When the watcher comes back you might want to do some training with him,” Spike commented.

“Training? Oh, let me guess, I don’t fight as good as…”

“Buffy, it’s not like that. You have four more years of practice is all,” Spike reassured her.

“Well…why don’t you train me?” Buffy asked hopefully.

“Can’t. I’ve got this chip, remember? I don’t fancy a one-sided fight even if it is just training. Come on, I‘ll walk you home.”

“You mean since I’m so defenseless?” Buffy teased. She turned to see his reaction just in time for him to shove her hard into a nearby mausoleum. She must have passed out for a brief second, because when she opened her eyes, Spike was fighting a huge brown creature with a long tusk on his forehead. Buffy brought her hand up to her throbbing head and realized it was covered with blood. She watched half-dazed as Spike fought the demon in full game face. His moves were fluid and graceful, and despite his smaller size, he quickly overpowered the demon. He let out a ferocious snarl and ripped the throat of the beast open, then twisted its head completely off.

When the creature fell lifeless to the ground, he quickly turned his attention to Buffy. “Bloody hell,” he cursed, rushing over to her. Pulling her hand away from her head, he carefully inspected her wound.

“I…I’m okay,” Buffy assured him.

“I didn’t mean to push you so hard, but he was charging, and his tusk is filled with poison.” Spike told her as his features shifted back to human guise.


Buffy’s eyes widened, “but he cut you,” she said grabbing his arm.

Spike chuckled, “it doesn’t effect me, luv, I’m a vampire remember?”

Spike’s face suddenly went completely serious as he scrambled back away from her. Buffy could see the fear in his eyes.

“Spike…what is it?”

“I…I hurt you,” Spike stammered as his eyes focused on the blood on her hands.

“Is it the blood? Does it bother you? I’m really not hurt, I just…” Buffy tried to explain.

“No!” Spike interrupted, “I hurt you and the chip…it didn’t fire.”

“Oh, well you didn’t mean to hurt me,” Buffy shrugged.

Spike stood up and started pacing back and forth. “You don’t get it, it still should have fired. I pushed you…hard.”

Buffy struggled to get up still dizzy from her head wound. Spike was immediately at her side helping her to stand.

“Maybe it doesn’t work on me, you know, since I’m from the past and all,” Buffy giggled.

“This isn’t funny, Buffy. I could hurt you and the chip wouldn’t fire,” Spike explained.

“You mean you could try,” Buffy smirked.

“This isn’t a game, Buffy. Are you even listening to what I‘m saying!” Spike yelled.

Buffy stepped forward, taking Spike’s hands. Looking up at him she asked, “do you want to hurt me?”

Spike was once again lost in her eyes. Her small, warm hands holding his, she looked so innocent, so untouched by all the pain she had endured.

“No,” he whispered. “Never.”

Buffy leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on his lips, “See? Then it’s no big deal. Besides, I trust you,” she smiled.


********************



Willow snapped the large book shut as her lover entered the room.

“What are you doing?” Tara smiled, joining her on the bed.

“Just some research,” Willow answered, snuggling against her.

“About Buffy?” Tara asked hesitantly.

Willow sighed. “I can’t help but feel that we let her down. She could still be trapped, Tara.”

Tara sat up, “Willow, we don’t even know that she’s still there. When the spell went wrong… Who knows? The spell could have freed our Buffy, too,” the blond offered sympathetically.
.

“No,” Willow argued, sitting up to face her lover. “But we still have the Urn, I could try the spell again, using the right words.” (

Tara snorted, “two Buffy’s would be a bit…too weird, Willow.”

“There wouldn’t be two,” Willow whispered, looking towards the door. “I found a reversal spell.”

Tara’s eyes widened. “Willow you wouldn’t do that…would you? I mean, how would it even work?”

“Tara, she isn’t our Buffy. She isn’t even supposed to be here,” Willow argued.

“But she’s a human being, Willow, and she is our Buffy, just from when she was younger. You can’t just go around playing God, it isn’t right.” Tara strained to keep her voice low.

Willow sighed, “Your right, Tara. I should just forget about it.”

Tara smiled as they lay back down in bed. Willow waited until she knew her girlfriend was asleep then climbed out of bed pulling the large text from under the bed. I’ll find a way, Buffy, just hold on.

Tara smiled as she watched the blond finish off her second plate of chocolate chip pancakes. “D-do you want some more?”

Buffy sat back placing her hands on her full stomach. “I don’t think I could eat another bite, but they were yummy, thanks.”

Tara giggled. “I didn’t know you even liked pancakes.”

Buffy face instantly fell, “Oh…I didn’t used to eat your pancakes?”

Sensing the wariness in her voice, Tara offered her a warm smile, “I didn’t live here before, but you had so much to deal with last year, you didn’t seem to eat much of anything.”


“Yeah, I kind of guessed that, since almost everything in my closet is too small.” Buffy sighed. “Let’s see—she was skinnier, a better fighter…no wonder everyone likes her better.”

Tara walked over, placing her hand on Buffy’s shoulder. “I d-don’t feel that way,” she said smiling.


Buffy looked up and saw the honesty in the Wicca’s eyes. “Really?” she asked, still needing reassurance.

Tara nodded. “I like the way you are now. Like the other night when you and Dawn were cuddled up watching the movie, giggling.”

“You mean while Willow snapped at us the whole time?” Buffy snorted.

“Yeah, but it didn’t stop you. You and Dawn were in your own little world. I’ve never seen the two of you that…close. Even your aura is different…so bright and open.” Tara smiled.

“I wish everyone felt that way,” Buffy whispered, looking down playing with the string of her sweatpants.

“D-did you ever think that maybe it’s not really you that is bothering them?” Tara asked hesitantly.
Buffy looked up, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“Well, seeing you…like this is also a reminder to them of how much they have changed.”

“Boy, have they ever,” Buffy muttered.

“Just give them some time; I’m sure everything will work out.”




*********************


Buffy walked into the Magic Box, sighing as she sat down in a chair.

“What happened? I thought you and Dawnie were going to a movie,” Willow asked, closing her book.

“We were, but her friend Janice found out the guy she has a crush on likes someone else, so they decided to go get ice cream. I didn’t feel like tagging along.” Buffy shrugged.

“Well, you’re welcome to hang out with me and Willow.” Tara suggested.

“Or you could come to the Bronze with Anya and me,” Xander offered.

Before Buffy could answer, they all heard the bells of the front door jangling.

“Giles,” Buffy whispered. She stood, walking toward her watcher. His hair had grayed, and the lines in his face were more defined, but the most remarkable thing she noticed was the softness in his tear-filled eyes. She approached him hesitantly; after all, he too was probably expecting someone else.

“Buffy,” he sighed, dropping his suitcase and wrapping his arms around her. Buffy stiffened slightly, not used to his blatant show of affection, but she soon relaxed into his arms, hugging him back tightly

“You're alive. You're here. And you're still...remarkably strong.” he said, as his voice strained.

Buffy, that she was squeezing too hard, quickly released him. “Oh…sorry,” she said, blushing.


Giles brought his hand up to cup her face. “Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe…”

“Yeah, I guess I take some getting used to,” Buffy joked.

“It's, uh ... you're…” Giles hesitated.

Buffy drew back slightly. “Different…”

“…a miracle, but then, I always thought so,” Giles laughed.

“You did? Always?” Buffy asked hopefully.

“I did, though seeing you like this makes me feel…”

“Disappointed?” Buffy asked hesitantly.

“I was going to say old,” he answered, looking at her in confusion.

Buffy beamed. “Yeah, you look old.”

“How are you? Is everything…okay? I can imagine this is a bit confusing for you,” he asked, concerned.


“I’m okay…as good as a I can be. Spike said you should work on my training some, you know, to get me up to speed.” Buffy ignored Xander’s snort at the mention of the blond vampire, sighing in resignation.

“Yes, well, that is to be expected. Anything else?” Giles asked.

“No. Pretty much just getting used to the whole lost four years of my life thing and…oh Spike’s little chip thingy doesn’t work on me.” Buffy shrugged.

“What?” Xander yelled, jumping from his chair.

“Buffy, why didn’t you tell us that?” Willow asked, looking concerned.

“Uh…because it’s no big deal,” Buffy answered, annoyed.

“No big deal! You mean that evil bloodsucker could make a snack out of you, and you didn’t seem to think it was important enough to mention?” Xander’s voice rose as he flailed his arms

“Xander’s right, Buffy. He could be dangerous,” Willow added.

“C-come on, guys, it’s Spike. I d-don’t think he would hurt Buffy,” Tara said quietly.

“I agree with Tara. We all saw how he acted when she died,” Anya offered.

“Oh sure, let’s all just forget about the hundreds he killed before. What if it’s not just Buffy the chip doesn’t work on?” Xander argued.

“Xander does have a point, Buffy. How exactly did you come to learn it didn’t work on you?” Giles asked, cleaning his glasses.

“I found out because he shoved me, to prevent some horny demon from ramming into me,” Buffy spat, placing her hands on her hips.

“Well, I say we dust him. No sense taking any chances,” Xander said.

“That may be a bit rash, Xander, at least until we find out the status of his chip. But maybe we should have Willow do a uninvite spell,” Giles responded.

“Oh, and we should warn Dawnie,” Willow added.

“Stop!” Buffy yelled, inserting herself in the middle of their discussion.

“There will be no dusting, no uninvite spell, and no warning Dawn,” Buffy warned in a tone that was pure slayer.

They all stood shocked at her sudden outburst.

“Buffy, he could be dangerous,” Willow responded.

“Yeah. Buff, you have to stay away from him,” Xander added.

“Listen, I appreciate your concern, but I am the slayer. I make the decisions where vampires are concerned. This is not a democracy. You know, the whole ‘Chosen One,’ not chosen one and her friends.”

“But, Buffy, we’ve always been a team; we make decisions together,” Willow informed her in a clipped tone.

“Yeah, Buff, we are the Scoobies.” Xander nodded.

Buffy narrowed her eyes walking up to the pair. “Oh really? Tell me, how many times have you died?” When everyone was silent, she continued. “That’s what I thought. I make the decisions, and my decision is to trust Spike. He is my friend and I trust him.”


“Buffy, you don’t remember. He’s tried to kill you; he’s tried to kill all of us. He hasn’t changed just because he’s had some chip shoved in his head,” Xander protested.

“Well, I think you’re wrong. I think all of you are living proof of how much people do change. And if anyone goes near him…you’ll have me to deal with.” Buffy said, then turned and walk out the door.

As she ran through the darkened cemetery Buffy’s frustration mounted. She knew Spike lived in a crypt at Restfield, but everything had changed so much that she felt as if she were walking in circles. She was about at her breaking point when she noticed a large crypt she had not yet checked. Bursting through the door, she felt a wave of relief when she saw Spike sitting in a tattered chair in front of an old television.

Spike jumped out of his chair startled at the slayers abrupt entrance. “Well some things never change,” he smirked walking towards the blond.

Buffy launched herself at the blond vampire as tears of frustration flowed down her face. Spike held the crying girl rubbing her back silently cursing his insensitivity. Pulling back he took her face in his hands, gently wiping her tears with his thumbs. “Pet, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Buffy shook her head sobbing. “It’s not you…its them. They just don’t understand.”

“Aw sweet, don’t let them get to you. They’ll adjust.” Spike smiled.

“I told them about the chip…and they just freaked out.”

Spike’s smile instantly faded as he released her running a hand through his hair as he began pacing. “Bloody hell Buffy you could have warned me. The boy…is just itching for an excuse to off me.”

Buffy furrowed her brow, “Xander was upset…and Giles but…”

Spike’s eyes widened, “Your watcher knows? When did he get back?”

“Today,” Buffy mumbled, “but Spike they won’t bother you. I told them if they did they would have me to deal with.”

Spike stopped pacing and looked at Buffy. The look of panic was quickly replaced by one of complete awe, as a smile tugged at his lips. He cocked his head to the side, “You told them that?”

Buffy blushed but maintained eye contact, “Of course I did. I told you, Spike…I trust you.”

Spike closed his eyes feeling torn between being utterly amazed that Buffy had taken his side with her friends and the absolute terror of knowing that it could all change in a heartbeat if she knew the truth about him. “Love, if you remembered…”

“Remembered what…how you protected my sister? That you patrolled all summer with my friends?” Buffy answered walking over to take his hands.

“How ‘bout the fact that I tried to kill you…many times.”

“But you didn’t. Why do you think that is?” Buffy smiled mischievously.

“Um…because your mum hit me in the head with an ax?” Spike chuckled.

Buffy stopped her look suddenly solemn, “Y-you knew my mom?”

Spike closed his eyes briefly remembering how raw the pain must still be for her. Bringing his hand up to cup her cheek he smiled. “She was a nice lady. Always had an ear to lend and cuppa for a bloke. And she was proud of you.”

Buffy’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. She felt herself drowning in an ocean of blue as she slowly leaned in and brushed her lips against his. She sighed letting the kiss linger waiting, hoping for some kind of response. She was about to pull away when she felt his hand move from her cheek to tangle in her hair.

Spike knew he should pull away, but having her so close, so in need of comfort before he could even think he was hauling her flush against him. Buffy gasped feeling his tongue stroking her lips and then gently enter her mouth. She heard a low growl rumble in his chest as the kiss deepened. Then suddenly she felt herself being shoved roughly away as he abruptly broke the kiss.

“Buffy…Oh God, I’m so sorry.”

Buffy was dazed. The kiss had left her gasping for breath. She looked to Spike confused and hurt. “You’re…sorry you kissed me?”

“Buffy, pet, you have to understand…”

“Understand what? It was beautiful.” Buffy smiled approaching him.

Spike held his hand up, “no…I-I can’t do this.”

“But…why?”

Spike could see the agony in her eyes. He could feel his chest tighten knowing he was the cause of it. How long had he wished for this…dreamt of it. Now here she was standing before him like an angel offering deliverance. But Spike knew all too well the cost.

Before her death, he’d grown accustom to the disgust in Buffy’s eyes. Sure there were flashes of tolerance even bordering on acceptance at times, but never trust and certainly never desire. Spike closed his eyes longing to force back his inner turmoil and accept whatever the goddess before him would offer a soulless demon such as himself. But he knew one taste of her salvation would never be enough. Somehow, some way her friends would make sure she remembered. The mere thought of tasting heaven only to have it all ripped away, was enough to stop him in tracks. Losing Buffy to death almost ended him; he could not stand to come so close only to lose her in life.

“Love, you just…you don’ remember.” Spike whispered bowing his head as tears threatened to spill down his cheeks.

“Oh my God,” Buffy covered her mouth as she slowly backed away. “It’s because of her! You love her. I’m so stupid. How could I have thought you were any different?”

Before Spike could even answer he turned and ran out of the crypt. His heart ached to follow her to somehow make her see, but he knew if he followed there would be no going back. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey he slumped down in his tattered chair.


********************


Buffy climbed the tree outside of her bedroom window. She was pretty sure everyone was asleep, but she couldn’t bear to face them at the moment. Crawling through the window she wandered towards her bed. She felt utterly alone in the world. Collapsing on her bed the tears finally came. Huge wracking sobs consumed her as she curled into a ball and clung to her small stuffed pig.

She wasn’t sure how long she was there, it felt like hours. Suddenly the bed dipped and long thin arms wrapped around her. “Ssshh” her sister whispered stroking Buffy’s hair, “don’t cry. Everything will be ok.”

Buffy’s voice was cracked and shaky, “no, it won’t. Not now.”

“Buffy I know it’s been hard…”

“Spike hates me.” Buffy sobbed.

Dawn snorted, “you’re joking, right?”

Buffy sat up abruptly turning toward her sister, “no…he really does.” she insisted.

Dawn looked unconvinced, “Buffy what could he have possibly done to make you think that? Spike loves you.”

Buffy shook her head, “he loves her. I kissed him and at first it was like…wow amazing and then he pushed me away.”

“He pushed you away?” Dawn looked amazed. “Let me get this straight, you kissed Spike, our Spike, and he pushed you away?”

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered as hot tears ran down her face. “He said something about me not remembering.”

Dawn took hold of her sister’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “Buffy listen to me. I don’t know what Spike said or why he pushed you away, but there is one thing in this world I’m sure about. Spike. Loves. You. Now, let’s get some sleep.” Dawn smiled lying down on the bed. “And no hogging the covers.”


********************


Spike was awakened by a large object hitting his chest. Blinking open his eyes he was faced with an angry teen. “What the hell is your problem?”

“Oi, watch the language, bit.” Spike slurred trying to sit up knocking the empty bottles off of his chair.

“No, this time you are gonna listen to me. You made my sister cry, you big jerk.”

Spike closed his eyes remembering the night before. “Dawn, it’s complicated.”

“No it’s not! You’re making it complicated. Don’t you see we could be a family? Just the three of us. Don’t you want that?” Dawn’s voice cracked as tears slid down her face.

Spike was out of his seat in a flash, comforting the girl he had come to love as his own. “Bit, of course I would wan’ it. God, you don’t know how much.” he closed his eyes whispering into her hair.

Dawn pulled back seeing the tears in his eyes, “Then why are you pushing her away? She wants to be with you.”

“Maybe, but what about if she gets her memory back?”

“That’s what’s holding you back? A what if. Spike don’t you remember what it was like when she was gone? Don’t you remember how we wished for some glimmer of hope? How can you just throw it all away because you’re scared?”

“It’s not that simple.” Spike tried to pull away, but Dawn held his arms.

“Yes it is. What if she never gets her memory back? What if we could have a real chance at being a family? Could you really live with yourself if you just throw it all away?”



********************


The room was eerily silent as the Scoobies sat around the large table at the Magic Box. Buffy hadn’t even wanted to come to Giles’ emergency meeting fearing it was going to be about Spike, but she knew she had to at least hear him out.

Giles’ walked through the front door looking even older and more stress than he had the day before. “Good, I see you all are here,” he said looking directly at Buffy.

“What’s up G-man?” Xander smiled.

“Yeah is the world ending again because I was just about to write some check and if it is…”

“Anya!” Xander snapped.

“What? I was just saying if there was going to be an apocalypse…”

“There is no apocalypse.” Giles said solemnly taking off his glasses.

“Oh but he’s cleaning his glasses, so this can’t be good.” Willow noticed.

“I got a call from Wesley last night.” Giles started.

“Who’s Wesley?” Buffy chirped thankful this apparently wasn’t going to be about Spike’s chip.

“He was your watcher for a short time when Giles got canned.” Xander announced his smile quickly fading when Giles shot him a stern look.

“He’s informed me that Faith has lost her slayer powers.” Giles continued.

“Who is Faith?” Buffy said looking confused.

“She’s the bad slayer.” Anya smiled.

“Wait…there are two slayers?” Buffy’s eyes widened.

“When The Master…killed you even though it was only momentarily, a new slayer was called, Kendra. Kendra was killed shortly after being called and the next slayer in line was Faith. However, she chose a dark path and is currently incarcerated.” Giles said rubbing his temples.

“So, that is what the big meeting is about, Faith has been stripped of her powers? What did the counsel find a way to do it?” Willow asked.

“I’m afraid not. After Wesley’s call I contacted a friend of mine who is a member of a coven.” There was a long pause Giles sighed and continued, “Apparently the counsel was not responsible for Faiths loss of powers.”

“Who was?” Willow asked.

“You were.” Giles said simply.

“What? What do you mean?” Willow’s eyes widened.

“Apparently when your spell split Buffy’s essence it broke the slayer line.” Giles said looking towards Buffy.

“But that doesn’t make sense I still have my powers.” Buffy frowned.

“The slayer line ceased to run through you when you were killed. Even though you were still the slayer, the line ran through Faith. When your essence was split and you were returned, apparently it broke the line.” Giles explained.

“And when I die?” Buffy asked in a small voice.

“Then there will be no more slayers” Giles sighed.

The room once again fell deadly silent. Buffy felt a small tingling on the back of her neck only seconds before she heard his voice.

“Then it looks like we better make sure our slayer stays alive.”