1. I've had enough


“Oh, come on Angel!” Buffy Summers exclaimed furiously at her so-called boyfriend Angel O’Connor. “You can't say you didn't flirt with her!”

Angel O’Connor took a deep breath before running a hand through his brown hair. “I was not! She was flirting with me. There’s a whole difference there! And it's not like it has happened before...”

Buffy nodded sarcastically. “Yeah, Angel, this was the very first time I caught you talking to some stupid whore when I'm not around. Or… wait a second. It wasn't! I've seen you more than twice, talking to some silly chic and instantly jumping away when I come back.”

He sighed heavily and bit his bottom lip. “That was one time and I was drunk.”

“Yeah, if you see one time as four”, Buffy muttered under her breath.

“You're unbe-fucking-leavable, Buffy. I've never met anyone as jealous as you are. A girl can't be around me for more than one second before you go insane cavewoman on me.”

Buffy let out a cry. “For God’s sake, I didn't do anything the first time so excuse me for having enough right now when I find you in the bar with that girl!”

Angel just sighed and Buffy clenched her jaw. They'd been together for almost a half year now and Buffy really had had enough. She had seen her soon to be ex boyfriend with a lot of different girls lately and she suspected it was just time till he cheated on her.

“I'm done. It’s over, Angel”, Buffy finally said and turned around to go.

Angel seemed to break out of his defense and frowned. “W-what? You're breaking up with me?” He said surprised.

“Yes I am”, Buffy simply replied.

“Come on, Buffy, we can work this out! It’s just a fight!” He said, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. Buffy pushed his hand off her arm.

“No we can't. You just want me there as the one on the side. I don't. I'll say it again for the last time; it’s over.”

“No”, Angel said and got his lawyer-look all over him. God, she hated that look. Every time he put it on he seemed to think he was beyond everyone else. “Every couple have fights, we do too. It’s not over; we need to talk this through.”

“I don't. I know what I want and I don't wanna be here”, Buffy said and continued out of the door.

“Fine, I'll call you on Monday!” Angel yelled after her.

“Oh, no you don't!” She screamed back but he had already closed the door.

Buffy let out a silent cry in the night. I'm sick and tired of all guys, she thought and started to walk home. I need a break from everything. A vacation.

As soon as she got home she started her computer and search for some cheap place she could visit for some time. Since it was the beginning of the summer she had almost nine weeks before school started again where she worked as a guidance counselor.

But where did she want to go? And everything was so expensive. She let out a frustrated little growl while she searched. Okay, new keyword. 'Silent, beautiful, vacation spot.'

“Okay, let it be it”, Buffy though and closed her eyes as she clicked on one of the results. A homepage showed up with the title Cornwall, England. Just the place you're looking for. A quite, beautiful surrounding.

“Cornwall…” Buffy said to herself, thinking of the name. She'd heard of it before, but she didn't know that much about England at all. Buffy had never had the chance to go there, so was it worth a shot?

She clicked on the cute little house that was for rental. It was nice, not fancy but… nice. She liked it, but as soon she realized what she was doing she started to hesitate.

Buffy Summers had lived in Sunnydale, California her whole life and just been outside the country once before with her family and that was almost six years ago. After high school college came along and she started working. There hadn't been time. Though, it was scary, she needed this.

You need to act on impulse, Summers, she told herself and made her decision. Cornwall, here I come.

__________________________________________

“You're going to England?” Cordelia Chase asked skeptically. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“What?” Buffy frowned at her long time friend. “No, why is it so weird?”

“Because… The town you're going to is like the smallest of the smallest… village! It isn't called a town even.”

Buffy shook her head. She knew this was a thing Cordelia Chase never would've done. She loved the big city life and went to Los Angeles pretty much every weekend. “Get a grip, Cordy. It isn't that small at all and even if it was; what’s the problem? I mean, I'm there to rest and just spend some time for myself, is all.”

“No guys at all?” Cordy continued and Buffy had to hold in a sigh.

“Cordelia, I'm leaving because I'm so tired of Angel and to not get involved with someone right now. Okay? It hasn't really been my luck lately when it comes to guys.”

“I have to agree with you on that one”, she said and took a sip of her coffee. “First that jerk Parker and now Angel.”

“See? That’s why I need some time to… recover or whatever. And for what I read at the site, it’s supposed to be great weather.”

“You're living in California, Buffy. If you're looking for getting a tan, just go to the beach. Wouldn't harm you, you know,” she added.

“You're unbelievable, Cordelia”, Buffy laughed. “But I love you anyway.”

“Aw. Sweet. Love you too. But, if you're gonna go, then I want your apartment.”

“My apartment?”

“Yes. You see, they're painting mine and Doyle is out of town so I can't live with him. Yours is for free.”

“You sure about that?” Buffy said raising an eyebrow.

“What? I'm your friend! You can't do that to me…”

“Relax, I'm kidding. But don't you dare touch the goddamn paintings”, Buffy threatened.

“Okay… Okay, but they're not even nice…”

“Cordy!”

“I won't!”

__________________________________________

“Um, excuse me”, Buffy said to the taxi driver outside the airport in Newquay. “Are you free?”

“Yes, miss. Where do you want me to drive you?” He smiled at her.

“I know it’s probably too much to ask, but I forgot to arrange some sort of a cab before I came here and…”

“It’s alright. Just tell me where you want to go, miss.”

“Cornwall, Penzance, please, I've rented a house there for seven weeks.”

“Oh? That’s sounds perfect. Let me help you with your bags and we will be going soon”, the driver said and took her bag.

Buffy smiled in return and sat down in the backseat of the car with a sigh. The flight had been long and the short sleep she'd gotten wasn't too much of a help. When she got to her house all she wanted to do was unpack and go to sleep.

She closed her eyes, just for a minute but slowly faded off to sleep.

The taxi driver came back and sat down in the front seat.

“Can you tell me where we're…” He trailed off when he saw the sleeping girl in the backseat and smiled. I can ask her later.

__________________________________________

“Oh, my god”, Buffy said hours later, standing outside her new house for seven weeks. “It’s beautiful.”

The house had a slight living-out-in-the-sticks look over it but she could see it wasn't that old though. I was patterned with bricks in different grey scales. And those small windows… So cute! Under the windows there was a flowerbed in many different colors.

A few metres away from the door there was small garden with a pavilion in the back.
There was something so unlikely Sunnydale and so lovable she felt like she never wanted to leave.

Well, she was going to stay there for seven weeks, maybe would she got tired of it after all; but right now… Not! With a big smile on her face she went inside and unpacked after she had looked through the whole house. She slept upstairs in a king size bed and downstairs there was a nice kitchen, living room and bathroom.

“I like it here”, she said to herself later that evening. It was a beautiful outside and she couldn't bear herself to just sit inside so she took on her shoes and went for a walk in the little village.

Chapter 2. Wicca

An hour later Buffy let out a heavy sigh and glanced at her watch on her wrist. It was already five. She had been walking around and admiring the village but with her bad local sense, she’d soon got lost. Now, Buffy was tired of it. Her stomach made a hungry sound and she sighed just as she saw the sign of a bar and restaurant; Wicca.

‘Well, I have some money with me and at the house I haven’t got any food so…’
Buffy made her way to the small bar which was settled on a cliff with a view out over the ocean. As she reached the door she saw a poster of a band which was gonna play there later and she quietly wondered how they were supposed to fit in there. But it was bigger than it looked outside with a small stage, tables and a bar. She walked over to the bar and sat down, feeling completely drained.

“Hi, you want a menu?” A voice said behind the desk which belonged to a brunette, in her, twenties with a smile on her face.

“Yes, thank you”, Buffy said and accepted the menu.

The women studied her for a moment. “You’re not from here”, she stated and Buffy looked up, smiling.

“How could you guess…”

The women shrugged and glanced at her menu. “Well, except for the accent and that you’re not familiar… I couldn’t.”

Buffy laughed. “No, I’m not from here. But you’re not English either.”

“No, I’m from California. I moved here with my girlfriend a few years ago. Haven’t really caught up with the British accent yet.”

“From California? Me too. I came here yesterday, though, just on a long holiday.”

The bartender raised her eyebrows. “Really? Where from?”

“Sunnydale.”

“Los Angeles.”

“Close enough”, Buffy said. “I’m Buffy. Buffy Summers.”

“Tara Maclay”, she said and shook Buffy’s hand. “So, what brought you here?”

Buffy sighed. “Ah. Just wanted to have a… calm… vacation.”

“Guy problem, huh?”

She sighed. “You have no idea.”

“Why do you think I’m dating girls?” Tara replied smiling.

Buffy smiled and turned around, glancing at the people in the bar. A lot of them were older than her, but never the less some younger too. It seemed to be the local bar in town.

“How long have you been working here?” Buffy asked Tara.

Tara took up a glass and started cleaning it with a towel. “Two years almost, I own the bar actually. Even though it wasn’t really my dream job I can’t sell it.”

“I understand. How come you moved here in the first place?”

“Willow, my girlfriend, wanted to see some place new and just about that time she got an opportunity to teach at a school nearby. I moved with her and opened the bar with our common friend Anya”, she said and pointed in the direction of a blond girl who was busy yelling at a minor. “She’s… special. Can be pretty overwhelming sometimes but we like her anyway. She’s seeing the drummer in the band that’s playing here tonight. Xander Harris.”

“Yeah, I saw there was a band playing here. Don’t take me wrong but, why are they here tonight?”

“They’re from here, all of them. Except Xander and Charles Gunn, they’re from the states too.”

“Wow… We really have invaded this town haven’t we?”

“Pretty much”, Tara laughed. “They should start soon actually.” And in that second cheers filled the room and Buffy turned around to see five people walking up onto the stage. One of them caught her eye; a bleach blonde guy with a red shirt and black trousers. Wow, he’s hot, Buffy thought but instantly remembered why she was here. No guys.

Tara seemed to have noticed Buffy’s thoughts and nodded to the stage. “Do you recognize Spike?”

Buffy frowned. “Spike?”

“Yeah, the lead singer. Well, his real name is William, but as long as I’ve been here I’ve known him under the name Spike.”

“Unusual name…” Buffy said.

“Yeah, don’t ask me where he got it from”, Tara said raising her hands.

“Don’t worry, I won’t”, she replied and turned her head back at the stage where the music had started. Oh my god, he has a beautiful voice. Arg, stop it now! You’re not supposed to think this way…

“He’s really good”, she said instead, trying to get something else on her mind which didn’t really work.

“He is. Spike is really talented. I don’t know why he stays here; I mean he can make it big if he just showed it to the world, you know. He can sing, write, surf…”

“He’s a surfer?”

“Yeah, one of the best here.”

“I didn’t know people surfed here.”

“Oh, they do. Just down there”, Tara continued with a gesture out on the ocean. “He actually has surfed out on the so called Bone yard.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s stupid. I don’t know why they go there, they’re just settling themselves in danger. You see, it’s a great reefs out there. Dangerous if you miss a wave, but it’s also the biggest waves. He’s been out there a few times and for what I know, he’s the only one that really dared to. Everyone else stay close to the beach.”

“Oh. That sounds… well, stupid.”

“Yeah, but he’s Spike. And if you talk to some woman out there she will probably make Spike known as the town’s man slut.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows. So every town had their negativities. He was this town’s.

“But he’s a nice guy, underneath the cold façade”, Tara sighed. “Willow saw through it and he comes to our house some times.” She studied Buffy for a few seconds before saying; “You want me to introduce you to him?”

Buffy quickly turned back to Tara. “What? No! No… I’m here to have a time without any men… and how, I mean why do you think I want to go out with him? I mean… he’s all…” Buffy couldn’t find a word, but when Tara started laughing she spit out; “…blonde.”

Tara glanced at Buffy’s long blonde hair and smiled. “Yeah. A lot of that’s been going around lately.”

Buffy noticed where her gaze where and she blushed. “I didn’t mean…”

“You’re new”, a voice asked behind her and Buffy suddenly jumped and turned around to see no one less than the blonde singer standing there with a smirk which made her blush instantly.

Spike smiled even more when the blonde girl standing in front of him jumped and blushed. She’s adorable when she blushes.

He’d seen her from the stage talking to his friend Tara and felt an instant pull towards her. Spike had never seen the girl before, probably another reason to that he saw her in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Gunn, you know who that girl is?” Spike asked his friend Charles Gunn.

Gunn glanced at the girl at the bar and shook his head. “Nah. Never seen her before. You’re going over there?”

Spike shrugged but really he felt kinda nervous.

“No, Spike, don’t”, Winifred, ‘Fred’, Burkle said and made her way over to Spike. “Don’t hurt the poor girl.”

“Hey”, Spike said. “Who said anything about hurting?”

“Well, since you always in some way hurt your conquest for the night…” Wesley Wyndam Price continued.

“I’m not that horrible…” Spike mumbled.

“Huh, really?” Fred said. “So that’s why pretty much every woman in here tonight is longing after you to call?”

“You don’t know that and…”

“Spike, one of them came and asked me if you forgotten about her!”

“Who now?”

“Exactly…”

“Look. I’ll just go and talk to her. Nothing more than that.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How can you tell?” Buffy said feeling slightly nervous.

“Well, your accent for the first and I haven’t seen you here before”, Spike said.

“You can’t have heard my accent from the stage”, Buffy mumbled.

“No, but I have now.”

Buffy sighed and shook her head. In the background Tara smiled at the couple.

“Oh, seems like Dennis needs me over there”, she said. “Hey, Spike, by the way, bye. Nice to meet you, Buffy. Come back sometime and we can talk a little more.”

“Thanks for the help, Tara. I’ll come back later.”

When Tara had disappeared Buffy turned back to Spike.

“What do you want?”

“Now… Isn’t that a little rude, luv. Just came here to get to know you, is all.”

“Yeah, so I’m another one of your conquests?” She snapped and Spike frowned.

“No, why would you…”

“Look, Spike. Sorry, but I think it’s time for me to go back home. Need to find the way... Which may take a few hours.”

“I can drive you, I have my car just out-“

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll walk.”

“Come on, don’t be so stubborn. Glenda knows me, she’d kill me if I tried something and I don’t want that to happen so you’re safe with me.”

“Think I’m safer walking by myself really”, Buffy mumbled and Spike sighed.

“Buffy, wait…”

Buffy stopped and turned around with a frown. “How do you know my name?”

Spike gestured at Tara. “She said it. Will uh… Will I see you again?”

“Why? I’m not here to…”

“Just talk, luv.”

Buffy sighed and shook her head. “Sure, I’ll be here tomorrow probably. If I find my way home…”

“I said I can drive you…”

“See you tomorrow, Spike”, Buffy said with a tired smile and walked out of the bar.

Spike smiled after her when he went back to his friends.

“That, my friend, was pathetic”, Gunn said with a smile.

“Believe me, she’s worth the effort.”

Chapter 3

The next day Buffy woke up feeling completely drained. She had found her way back to her house eventually, even though it took some time. She decided to go for a walk and get to know the surrounding a bit better in a running form.

Jogging had always been a way for her to get away from all hard things in life. It gave her peace when she just focused on running, running and running. Her physical condition had gotten better during the time she was seeing Angel. Kinda sad, she though. But now it was over, she never had so see that face again.

Buffy ran her way down to the Wicca bar again but didn’t go inside yet. She decided that she’d run down to the water. That wasn’t as easy as she thought, Buffy realised when she saw the high cliffs everywhere. She was content with running along the edges.

There has to be some way to get down there, Buffy thought. She could always ask Tara later on. On her way back she met Tara and her girlfriend Willow, a nice redheaded girl around her age. As it turned out; Willow and Buffy had been attending the same collage but in different classes. Buffy ate lunch with them and liked them both already.

“Why won’t you come over for dinner tomorrow?” Willow said.

“That would be nice”, Buffy replied.

“Good! Let’s say around… Spike!” Buffy’s eyes widened as she turned around and saw the blonde guy walk towards them where they sat outside the bar in the hot sun.

“Hey, Red. How are you?” Spike smiled and hugged Willow. “Haven’t seen you in a while? Been busy?”

Willow sighed and rolled her eyes. “You have no idea. Oh, have you met-“

“Buffy, yeah, yesterday”, Spike said, glancing over at Buffy who nodded and then ducked her head. “Didn’t know you’d be here now, pet.”

“Na, I was just out running and met Tara and Willow on the way.”

Willow gave Tara an amused look and Tara nodded in agreement. There sure was chemistry between them, although they didn’t seem to notice it yet…

“Found your way home yesterday?”

“Yeah, sorry I was an ass yesterday”, Buffy mumbled and glanced down. “It’d been a long day and I’m pretty-“

“Stubborn?” Spike added with a smirk.

“Hey, no I… Okay, if you wanna see it like that...”

Spike chuckled. “If you want to, I can give you a tour in… daylight and all.”

Buffy tensed. She had decided that this wasn’t going to be a semester flirt but Spike made it really hard to keep that plan in mind. Well, that doesn’t keep me from making friends.

“Sure, why not. Thanks for the coffee, Tara. See you guys tomorrow then?” Buffy said while standing up.

“Will do. Have a nice… tour”, Willow smirked and Spike gave her a look and she quickly added; “It’s a nice town. With the… houses, and… water, you know the basics. Nice. Now go.”

Buffy giggled as she started to walk beside Spike. She cast him a look and couldn’t tear her eyes away from his chest. God, he really has to be working out, she though. He wore a black t-shirt and dark blue bathing-trunks. She suddenly became aware of the fact that she was staring and tore her eyes away from him with a slight blush. Shit, I’m into some trouble…

Spike had pretty much the same thing going on in his head. She’s adorable when she blushes, he thought when she kept her eyes on the ground. He took all of her in; the golden hair that was placed in a lame ponytail, her white tank top, the blue jogging shorts that was perfectly attached to…..Shit, I’m into some trouble…

“So, Spike…” Buffy finally said, looking at him.

“Yeah. So, what do you want to see first? I mean, even though it’s a small town there’s a lot to see.”

“I don’t know. Show me a place you like.”

Great, Buffy…

“A place I like, huh? Well, I have to tell you that the place I prefer is a little bit hard to get to”, Spike said cryptically.

“Really? Why’s that?”

Spike stopped and thought about it for a second, then a smile lit up his face and he pulled at her arm.

“Come on.”

“Wait, you said we couldn’t get there”, Buffy insisted as she felt warmth of his touch.

“If we can’t get there, who says we can’t get close to it?” He smirked.

---------------------

“Okay, keep it steady. You alright, luv?” Spike said when they approached the narrow path down the precipice.

“Yeah”, Buffy said, thanking whatever higher power for taking a run that morning with her gym shoes. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see…”

They slowly made their way down the path and were close to the end of it when Buffy could see where they were heading towards.

“Oh my god”, she said. The waves crashed against the big cliffs with the bluest color she’d ever seen and in front of the ocean, there was small seashore. “It’s beautiful.”

“That it is. Now, watch out for the-“

But Spike didn’t have time to finish that sentence before Buffy’s foot got stuck in the root in the middle of the path and she fell forward. Spike acted fast and caught her before she fell to the ground.

“-root...”

Buffy automatically placed her hands at his chest and swallowed hard. The time seemed to come to a stop when she glanced up into his eyes before she realised that she was still lying in his arms.

“Sorry, and thank you”, Buffy said smiling shyly. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Not at all”, Spike said trying to maintain control and not draw her back into his arms. “You okay? That’s a tricky path, you know.”

Buffy laughed. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

“I fell each and every time until I finally understood how it worked.”

“Well, it’s worth it. As I said before, it’s beautiful”, Buffy said and kept her eyes on the crashing waves.

Spike walked up beside her. “It’s almost my favorite place. The best one though, is out there”, he said, pointing out at the ocean.

“What?” Buffy asked confused. “How do you- Oh. Surfing.”

Spike frowned with a slight smile. “You know that?”

“Tara mentioned it yesterday”, Buffy said before she realized what she’d said. Oh, no. Now he’s gonna think, no, know that we talked about him… But Spike didn’t take any notice of it.

“How long have you been surfing?”

“Since I was… I don’t remember. It’s so natural, but I guess it was around seven or something. I don’t know how I could live without it.”

“Seems like fun”, Buffy said and studied his face. He had really sharp cheekbones, she thought. And, God help her, those blue eyes.

“You’ve never done it before?”

Buffy shook her head. “Really? I though you Americans where all over the oceans”, he said and she laughed.

“No, I’ve never tried it. Is it fun? Oh, stupid Buffy with stupid questions.”

Spike chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before understood what he was doing and quickly pulled his hand away and cleared his throat.

“It’s life,” he said. “If you want I could teach you.”

Buffy hesitated for a moment before she put all those feelings in the back of her mind.

“That’d be great. If you have time, of course. It seems like you’re pretty busy.”

“I’ll make time,” he said with a smile. “What do you say about lunch?”

“I say yes, please.”

Chapter 4. Getting to know you

“It’s hot!” Buffy squealed and Spike laughed at her. They were sitting outside the Wicca again in the warm sun and eating their lunch together.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn ya,” Spike told her and took a sip of his water.

“Ho said I blaamed o?” She got out and Spike smiled even more. “Sorry,” she said and took the water from him, frenetically waving her hand against her mouth.

“Hey, that’s mine,” he said but she had already taken it and drank it all in a gulp. “Or, was.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want a burned tongue,” she smiled, blushing.

“Doesn’t matter, worth it to see you blush,” he said and leant on his elbows against the table. “And, as it seems, I got what I wanted?”

Buffy sighed and shook her head at his comment, but couldn’t hide the small smile that was forming on her lips.

“So, what do you say about surfing lesson tomorrow? I heard it’s gonna be great weather, well, perfect surfing weather anyway.”

The truth in the back of her mind dug its way forward to her conscious. She knew she shouldn’t do this, and yet she’d given in uncountable times.

“Spike, look,” she said. “I decided already before I went here that I wasn’t going to get involved with someone, considering I just broke up with my ex back home and this… It’s going to far, I-”

“Buffy, stop,” Spike interrupted. “Who said anything about that we have to be more than friends? Can’t we get to know each other? As friends I mean, if that’s what you want.”

Buffy tuck a strain of hair behind her ear and chewed her bottom lip. He was right, wasn’t he? At least she wanted him to be right. She had a lot of guy-friends back home, so why couldn’t Spike be?

“Sure. Okay, we’ll do that,” she said. “Is… is it okay with you?”

“Anything to get to know you,” he smiled.

“You know, you’re not as bad as everyone says you are,” she said with a slight nod.

“Why, thank you,” Spike mumbled with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I mean… I talked to Tara and it seemed like you… Well, was this mean, superior guy with no heart at all.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Nice to know people speak so highly of me…”

“She didn’t mean it in a bad way, she just talked about you and she also said that you’re a very nice guy underneath the hard surface.”

“Don’t patronize me,” he smiled. “Now, shouldn’t we get to the knowing part, eh?”

“What about twenty questions? I’ll start. Where does the name Spike come from?”

“You’ve been waiting for this all day haven’t you?” Spike smirked.

Buffy shrugged. “Maybe. Now tell me.”

“’fraid I can’t do that, luv. Not yet anyway. That’s a question you can ask in the future.”

“Come on, is it that bad?” Buffy insisted but she gave up when she saw his determined face.

“Okay, your turn.”

“Well… What’s your last name?”

“Summers. Why don’t people call you William?”

“You’re really in for the name part, huh pet?” Spike sighed.

“Tsk. You’re one to talk.”

“Never liked the name, it… It brings back memories I’m trying to forget… How old are you?”

“I’m 25. You?”

“26.”

“Close enough.”

“What do you do?” Spike continued.

“I’m a guidance counselor at Sunnydale High School, which was were I went to high school by the way. I’ve been working there since I graduated from college. I repeat the question you asked. Tara told me that you do a lot of stuff.”

“She told a lot about me, huh? Well, I like music; singing, playing, you name it. And of course the surfing. During the other times of the year I work with Glenda at the Wiccan to get some extra money. Otherwise, not much.”

“Why are you staying here?” Buffy asked.

Spike was quiet for a few seconds, obviously thinking. “Why not? I mean, I have my friends here, my family and… I grew up here, so I’m not really in for the leaving part.”

“I can understand that. I felt like that when I was going to collage. I actually applied for going to UC Sunnydale and of course, it’s a beautiful village.”

“Speaking of hometowns, you said you left because of your ex?” Spike said and Buffy sighed.

“Yeah. That guy, I’m seriously trying to forget his name so I guess that tells you a lot, huh?”

“What did he do? I mean, if you wanna tell”, Spike added.

“It’s okay. He… We were together for almost a half year. Nice guy until I saw him uncountable times flirting with women in the bar. He denied, of course, and I don’t think it went as far as to more than a kiss but I wanted out of it before it turned out worse. He’s a tricky guy, Angel. I met him through my dad, Angel was a ‘student’ at his law firm and pretty much like the son he never had for him so I bet I’m not that popular anymore.”

Spike nodded and felt a jealousy spread through him at the thought of Buffy with someone else which he tried to shake off. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything for her, she obviously wasn’t interested.

“So you left for a vacation?”

“Yeah, that’s about it. I needed some time away you know the last weeks of this summer. It hasn’t really been the best, but I hope this can change that. So, my turn. Do you live around here?”

Spike nodded. “In the same house until I was eighteen, then I got my own place. Thought about moving into London but things happened and I decided to stay here.”

Buffy nodded and felt that she shouldn’t ask why he didn’t move. Actually she was kinda happy he hadn’t moved, because if he had then she’d never had met him.

“Then I have to ask, how come your name is Buffy?” Spike grinned. “I mean, it doesn’t have that… touch of classic elegance…”

“Naha, if I can’t ask about yours then you won’t know about mine and what’s wrong with Buffy?”

“Well, I’ve never met anyone named Buffy before. It’s a different name, pet. Sound more like a-“

“Oh, don’t you dare say it,” Buffy pointed.

“Okay, I won’t if you tell me your story.”

“That’s not fair, you know, so I won’t tell… Except that my mom calls me that.”

Spike smiled. “And your dad?” Buffy’s smile faded and she glanced down at her food.

“I don’t see him a lot. He left us when I was fourteen and he talked to me like… twice until I started seeing Angel. I don’t even think he cares about me at all anymore.”

Spike felt bad for brining this out of her and wanted more than anything just to hold her. “Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to bring him up…”

Buffy shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m over it.”

“You, uh… You wanna talk about it? You don’t have to, but I know things like that becomes simpler when you don’t keep it inside.”

“You’re right. The hardest time was right after he left because we didn’t talk about it at all, me and my mom. Not even with my sister. It was my friend Cordelia who got me out of it, her parents divorced when her dad lost everything because of false taxes during ten years and she understood me, even though mom wanted a divorce ‘cus dad cheated on her. It was the same feeling. Oh, look at that. You made me talk like a… talk person or whatever.”

Spike smiled a gentle smile.

“It’s good that you talk, it would be awfully quiet if you didn’t.”

“Hey, you talk too.”

“Yeah, but only with persons I feel comfortable with.”

Buffy tensed at first but soon let a smile play on her lips which was relief for Spike.

-------------

“Sweetie, look at them,” Tara sad and smiled happily through the window at the couple outside the Wicca. Willow came up behind her. “Aren’t they so cute together?”

Willow nodded. “They’re just as perfect. Buffy seems to bring out the real William there, and just after two days. Damn, it took me a half year!” She exclaimed.

Tara smiled at her. “He likes her, it’s obvious. I’d be happy if they became a couple.”

“Me too. I like Buffy, and she’s staying for another seven weeks so they have a lot of time. Hey, what do you say, we can invite Spike for dinner tonight too?”

“That’s a great idea. And, we could let them talk even more between dinner and stuff. It’s perfect.”

“Those two are gonna get together. I’m sure. See, my resolve face,” Willow said, pointing at her face.

“I can see that, sweetie.”

Chapter 5 - Dinner

Buffy stood outside Willow and Tara’s cute little house later that night and took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. She had decided to wear a yellow sundress that was cut to her knees and her flip flops. Her hair was hanging down her shoulders with a little bit curled and she felt pretty content with herself.

“Buffy! You look awesome!” Willow exclaimed as she opened the door. “Come in, Tara and I am making the food. It will be done within ten minutes and Spike’s already in there. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks, Will,” Buffy smiled and made her way into the comfy living room. Oh my God, he looks so handsome…

His breath hitched in his throat when he saw her. God, she’s beautiful, a natural beauty... “Hey, luv,” he said, standing up. “You look… absolutely perfect.”

Buffy blushed for what felt like the hundredth time in just two days and smiled. “Thank you; you don’t look so bad yourself.”

Spike curled up a slight smile. “So, what do you think of the town now when you been here for a while?” He said and poured her drink.

“Thanks,” she said and accepted the glass. “Well, I like it. It’s a nice change from good ole Sunny D, you know. I like the place, the people, the…”

“The people?” Spike interrupted.

“Yeah,” she said, slightly nervous. Why did I have to say that? “I’ve met a lot of interesting people on my trip and none of them have been an ass so… That’s quite a change. Good change.”

Spike nodded and was about to speak when Tara and Willow entered the room again with the food.

“Guys, dinner’s ready. Let’s sit down, shall we?”

---------------------------

“No!” Buffy burst out, hand covering her mouth hours later.

“Yes, big yes,” Willow nodded firmly.

“Please, say you’re kidding me!”

Tara smiled as Willow shook her head.

“So you’re actually saying that when you and Spike met you met at the women’s clinic? Oh, god…” She started laughing again and earned a light smack over her arm from Spike.

”Hey, give that up. I was actually going the wrong bloody –”

“Oh, no you weren’t,” Willow continued. “You were looking to get laid.”

Spike groaned and put his face in his hands. “Please, don’t ever tell anyone that story again.”

“Aw… And miss you squirm like that. No way, I’m having too fun, right, sweetie?” Willow turned to Tara who nodded.

Buffy wiped away a tear. “And I am glad, believe me, that you told me about it. I can really see you in there…” She started laughing again but quickly stopped when she felt her head slightly spin. “Whoa… Too much to drink, I guess.”

Tara turned to the clock. “Well, it is 3 am. You think we should call it a night?”

“Probably, or otherwise I’m gonna have a major hangover tomorrow and I really don’t want that. Not that I won’t have it anyway…”

“I can follow you home, pet,” Spike said, standing up.

“Oh, you don’t have to do-“

“I will follow you home,” he said, more determined.

“If you insist”, Buffy mumbled with a slight grin.

A few minutes later they were walking in silence on the small sidewalk through the village. Comfortable silence, Buffy added to her mind. It had been a long time since she’d felt so at ease with a new person. No… She had never felt so at ease with a person so quickly. Not even with Angel whom she had known really well before they started dating. It took her a good few months to totally relax. But not with Spike. Why?

“You still there, luv?” Spike asked, slightly tilting his head.

Buffy woke up from her deep thoughts and shook her head. “Yeah, sorry. Was just thinking.”

“’bout what?”

She shrugged. About how I really want to… kiss you and how I can’t. Arg, I’m so screwed up… “Nothing special. Just… Life.”

“Life, huh? There’s a whole lot to think about then.”

She chewed her bottom lip and Spike had to hide a smile when he saw her frown. “I don’t wanna leave. I like it here.”

“Good, ‘cus then I can have more of you.” Spike regretted saying that the moment the words were out of his mouth. Buffy stared at him with her mouth slightly opened. “Buffy, I didn’t mean to…”

“You know, I think I’ll just go home now,” Buffy said and started to walk but was stopped by Spike gripping her arm.

“No please, wait. I didn’t mean it that way. I…”

“Spike, I already told you that I’m not here to find a new guy. I wanted some time for myself. Recover and… I can’t do that if… I’m sorry, but I really need to go.”

“Please wait, Buffy. I’m sorry, it just slipped out. I just meant that if you were leaving in like a week, then I wouldn’t get the chance to know you better. Not what you thought or what it sounded like.”

Buffy looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

No. “Yes, really.”

“Sorry, I’m being too hard on you… I just, well I don’t want to stop spending time with you ‘cus I really like you. As a friend,” she quickly added.

“As a friend, of course. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing that I know of. Why?”

“I thought we could take that surfing lesson. If you want to, that is,” he added, suddenly feeling insecure. What was it with Buffy that made him feel more… vulnerable? More like the old him?

Buffy smiled. “I’d love to.”

Spike leant forward and Buffy caught her breath and felt herself relax when his lips landed on her cheek for a chaste kiss. She didn’t know if she was really relieved or… disappointed. But she decided to not let herself think about that right now as they reach her house.

“See you tomorrow then.”

“Will do. See ya.”

-----------------------------

“Is it too late to change my mind?” Buffy said, looking nervously at Spike who just grinned.

“What? You’re scared? Scared of the… big, crashing waves that could devour you any minute if you don’t watch out or about those sharp rocks down-“

“Scared? No way. And, that really helps, Spike! Thank you for your very informative talk. So, again I’m asking you; is it too late to back out?”

“’fraid so, pet,” he said as he picked out a board to her. “But of course, if you’re too scared you don’t have to. I won’t make you, but I promise that if you do you will have the best time of your life.”

Buffy sighed and reached for her surfing board with a pout. “Okay. But you promise to help me?”

“No matter what. Come on, let’s get into the water now, shall we?”

“We shall.”

-----------------------------

“Okay, good… Keep your balance. Don’t lean to much forward, try to find a place you feel safe in… good,” Spike said about an hour later. He stood beside Buffy in the water and held out his hand to catch her if she fell.

“Would be easy if I wasn’t standing on a damn board out in the sea,” Buffy mumbled.

“It’s hard in the beginning, but you’ll learn.”

“Easy for you to say, I mean you’ve done this since you were what? Five? It’s harder the older you get, you know.”

“I know. I have surfing lessons for small kids and you’re acting just like one,” he muttered and earned a slap over the chest from Buffy. “Ow, that hurt.”

“That’s what you get if you compare me to small children.”

“They’re good, and nice. And, they know they have to be patient, ask them.” He turned around as if he searched for someone. “Hey, Lilly! Come over here,” he shouted at a small girl who immediately came up beside him.

“Spike, you’re gonna get me embarrassed, don’t-“

Spike smirked. “It’s no big deal. Lilly is a great girl, and you shouldn’t have any problem with kids, you work at a school.”

“Yeah I know but-“

“Hey, coach. Watcha doing?”

“Hey, nibblet. And you know you can call me Spike outside training. Don’t really mind if you doin’ it there either. Anyway, this is Buffy, Buffy this is Lilly.”

“Hi, Lilly,” Buffy said, struggling to not fall of the board. “I would shake your hand, but I’m afraid that would be a little difficult considering my lack of balance…”

“I’m Lilly, nice to meet you. You’re not from England are you?”

“No, California. I’m just here on vacation.”

“That sounds nice. Is Spike teaching you how to surf?”

Buffy nodded and the girl smiled. “Then you’re learning from the best.” Spike laughed and tousled her hair.

“That’s sweet, Lilly. Now, will you tell Buffy to have patience because she won’t listen to me.”

He turned to Buffy and smirked. God, what a sexy smirk… Stop it, Buffy! Listen to the girl…

“Yeah, it really isn’t that hard. I’m sure you will learn it by the end of the day. Spike probably won’t let you go before you can stand up.”

Buffy blushed at the part ‘won’t let you go’. Even though she knew that didn’t mean what she thought about right now.

“Thanks, Lilly. I’ll remember that. You’re gonna have to come by later and see how I’m holding up,” she smiled.

“Okay. Good luck! Bye Spike. Bye Buffy.”

“See you, Lilly,” Spike replied and turned smilingly at Buffy with a risen eyebrow. “So, what did I tell you?”

“You probably paid her to say that,” Buffy mumbled. “No, honestly, you’re both right. What a little cute girl by the way. She really seems to like you.”

“Yeah? She’s a good kid, a little angel. Although… I think she’s having trouble at home, so she’s not always up for everything. Lilly can be pretty down some days. But I think the surfing gets her to not think about it that much. It gives her some sort of… peace.”

Buffy felt bad for the little girl. She seemed so nice and sweet. “Oh, what kind of problems? I know that many of the kids at Sunnydale High find some sport or other activities as a peaceful haven when they’re having problems at home. I’ve seen it dozens of times. Do you know what’s going on at her house?”

Spike sighed and rested his hands on Buffy’s board. “I can guess. She won’t say much and I don’t want to pressure her or make her remember when she’s finally okay. But I’ve seen some damn horrible bruises on her a few times and I remember one time when she flinched as soon as anyone touched her.”

“How can someone do that to such a sweet, innocent girl? It’s horrible. Can’t someone do anything?”

“I’ve tried, but she refuses to be helped. But I swear if I see her hurt some other time in the near future I won’t listen to her anymore.”

“I’ll help you then. I’ve dealt with a lot of cases like this.” Buffy tilted her head. “You seem really attached to her. And you care. I’m sure they’re happy to have you here.”

Spike smiled at her. “They’re wonderful, all of them. Don’t wanna see them get hurt.” Buffy smiled back at him and then turned her attention back to the surfing board. “Okay, I think Lilly got me convinced. I will try again.”

Just a few moments later, Buffy was standing, keeping her balance. Spike applauded with a great smile.

“Woah, look I did it!” She exclaimed.

“Good work, Buffy. See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

Buffy shook her head, but at the same time she did that she fell down into the water before Spike could catch her. Panic rose in him when she didn’t come up directly, but he breathed again when she suddenly came up again and crawled onto the board again in a sitting position, laughing hard.

“Oh, god, believe me when I say that I am the clumsiest person on the earth.”

Spike laughed with her. “No you’re not, I’ve seen way more clumsier people than you. But, I have to agree that you were pretty, well… clumsy, little miss-”

“Sunshine?” A hypnotizing, deep voice said from behind. Spike tensed up and turned around with a sigh.

“Drusilla...”

Chapter 6 - Ain't no sunshine

Buffy was a little bit confused as she turned around to see the woman Spike was looking at. She had dark, long hair and very pale skin that certainly became even paler with her black bathing suit.

“What do you want, Drusilla?” Spike asked very calmly, but Buffy could hear the anger behind it.

“Well, now. Don’t get worked up, William. Don’t you think that an old friend could come to say hello any longer? Miss Edith told me you would behave like this, but I took my chance anyway. I’m sorry, Miss Edith, I wasn’t very fair to you,” she continued and glanced at her fingernails.

Buffy raised her eyebrows. What the hell was she talking about? The girl sure gave her the creeps.

“Yeah?” Spike said, slightly bored. “Would never have guessed she’d say that.”

“She also told me,” Drusilla continued, “that you would have Sunshine with you. And there she is.” She turned to Buffy with a tight grin.

“Er… Hi, I’m Buffy,” she said, not knowing what else to say.

“Sunshine says she has a name”, Drusilla said. “And so she does. She has come here to take my Spike away from me.”

“What, wait now… What do you mean? I’m just here on vacation, I’m not-“

“Buffy, you don’t have to defend yourself against Dru. She was just leaving, right?”

Spike said, trying to make Drusilla get the point, which she obviously didn’t give a damn about.

“Sunshine has already gotten you were she wants you, Spike. Remember the time when I was the only one you cared about?”

Buffy sighed. Drusilla was Spike’s ex, and it seemed like she at least wasn’t over him at all. She felt very stupid, just sitting there while the two of them shot daggers at each other – though, Drusilla wasn’t really shooting daggers...

“Listen, Spike. Um, you two obviously need to talk and I have to get home so I’ll just... go,” she said, gliding down from the board.

“No, you stay,” Spike said and then turned, pointing at Drusilla. “She goes. I don’t have anything to say to you, Drusilla. Please leave.”

“It’s a public place. I can go wherever I want,” was Drusilla’s answer.

“Spike, it’s okay, really. I’ll talk to you later,” she said, making sure Spike got it and then went to the beach were Lilly found her.

“Buffy, how did it go?” She said, smiling brightly.

“Oh, I stood!” Buffy exclaimed, with a little fake enthusiasm. She wasn’t really sure she wanted to stay here, because even though she didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t like to see Spike with this Drusilla.

“That’s great! So, why did you go up?” Lilly asked with a frown so cute that Buffy had to smile.

“Oh, um… There were… Complications, and I think I need to get back to my house so I called it a night.”

Lilly’s frown became deeper. “It’s day.”

Buffy grinned. “Yeah, it is. But, I just felt like it was enough for today.”

“It was because of Drusilla, wasn’t it?” Lilly asked.

Buffy sighed. “You know, you’re creepily smart for your age. How old are you anyway?”

“Twelve next month. And you didn’t answer my question; was it because of Drusilla?”

Once again, she sighed and nodded. “Yeah, she’s pretty weird, huh? Do you know her?”

“I don’t know know her, but I do know who she is.”

“Spike’s ex?” Buffy asked, not liking the jealousy that was behind the question.

“Yeah. She’s a total freak. Sorry, but she really is a bitch.”

“Noticed that,” Buffy replied. “She accused me for taking Spike away from her. I wasn’t trying to!”

Lilly sighed and sat down in the sand, which Buffy did too. “Drusilla has some kind of sick obsession with him. I don’t know that much, but they were seeing each other time to time for nearly three years and when I think about it – he was pretty weird during that time. Sometimes he didn’t come to practice, and sometimes I think he was drunk actually. I mean… I’m only twelve, and I noticed something was off. She didn’t make him happy. More the opposite.”

“Oh. I have to agree with you,“ Buffy said, slightly taken by her story. “So Drusilla is a freak? Who was this Miss Edith she talked about?”

“That you have to ask Spike about. I don’t know that much,” Lilly smiled, glancing out at the couple standing in the water. “He doesn’t seem to happy.”

“No, he really doesn’t,” Buffy agreed, when she saw Spike’s angry gestures. “You know maybe I should get going-“

“He’s not going to hit her, right?” Lilly abruptly asked, worried and Buffy froze, half standing up from her sitting position with a frown.

“Why do you think that? Has he done it before?” Buffy asked, suddenly a bit scared.

“No, no. But… he seems so angry with her. I don’t like her but I don’t want him to hit her. He won’t… right?” Lilly looked at Buffy with sad eyes and Buffy felt her heart ache for the little girl. Spike’s guesses were probably right. She was so worried about someone she cared for would do something stupid.

“Sweetie, no”, Buffy said softly, once again taking her position beside Lilly in the sand. “I’ve only known Spike for a few days but I can assure you, he will never do something like that.”

A silent tear slid down Lilly’s cheek which she desperately tried to hide. Buffy didn’t let her, she took her in her arms and hugged her. Lilly started to shake and Buffy soothingly thread her fingers through the sobbing girls brown hair.

“Shh… It’s okay. Let it out.”

Lilly clutched at Buffy and she only held tighter until she heard footsteps behind her and a familiar voice.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. She’s a bloody, stupid, selfless bitch… Does she even think? I mean-“ Spike trailed off when he saw Lilly crying softly in Buffy’s arms. He sat down beside them with a worried expression on his face and mimicked the same actions Buffy were doing.

“Lilly, what’s the matter? Are you okay?” He asked, concerned. “Are you hurt?”

“She isn’t hurt, Spike,” Buffy confirmed calmly. “Lilly is just a little sad right now.”

Buffy gave Spike a look and he understood the meaning of it with a slight nod. Lilly’s hiccups became less and soon she slowly pulled out of Buffy’s embrace. She wiped at the tears around her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I got that much sleep last night, I’m probably overreacted. Sorry…”

“No, Lilly. You don’t have to be sorry. Okay? If you ever feel bad or want to talk, you know you can come to me. Okay?” Buffy said giving the girl a smile.

Lilly smiled back and nodded. “I probably should be getting back home. I’ll see you around.” She gave both Spike and Buffy a quick hug before she stood up and walked away.

The blonde couple sat quiet for a while in the sand before Spike made eye contact with Buffy.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I’d ask Lilly if she was alright instead…”

“Yeah, but I meant about… Before, you know. I’m sorry you had to meet Dru. She’s a real pain. Can’t seem to get through that thick brain of hers that I can do whatever I want.”

“It’s okay, Spike,“ Buffy interrupted. “Lilly told me a little about her.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Did she? How did she know about her?”

“Not much, you have to fill me in on that later but apparently she knows a little because your relationship affected their surfing practice.”

“It didn’t-“

“She said you showed up drunk a few times,” she interrupted, with a slight edge in her voice.

Spike opened his mouth but closed it again and felt all the shame wash over him. He had showed up drunk, which was right. But he had thought that they wouldn’t notice. Apparently – he was wrong.

“I know. That was a bad call, but… It was a along time ago, I know it was stupid to think that they wouldn’t notice. I was selfish and just thought about relieve my own pain, but that’s over now. I promise,” he finished, determined to make Buffy understand and she nodded. “Why did Lilly cry, by the way? Had someone been mean to her?”

Buffy shook her head. “I think you’re right about Lilly. She suddenly started to say ‘he isn’t going to hit her, right’ and so on. Finally she just broke down.”

Spike clenched his jaw and scratched the bridge of his nose. “What should we do? I mean… she doesn’t want anyone to know but… I can’t let her go on like that.”

Buffy smiled a sad smile.

“You’re really sweet, you know that? That you care so much for the girl. You really aren’t that guy I saw the first night.”

Spike grinned and glanced down. “Who did you think I was?”

Buffy shrugged and looked out over the ocean. “I don’t know. I just assumed that you were this… bad boy with the bleached hair, the leather coat, and the singing… And of course your comments the first night,” she added, with a slight roll of her eyes that made Spike smirk. “I fell for that once and look how it turned out. Angel was that charming and I immediately fell head over heels in love with him. That’s why I was so hard on you the first night. Sorry ‘bout that…”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Spike said. “I was pretty… self-confident that night. Thought I could get anyone, and when I saw you… Well, I wanted to have you. Now, I’m more than happy to have you. As a friend of course, and seriously, if I ever meet this Angel guy I swear I’ll knock some senses into him.”

Buffy giggled. “Knock some senses into him? About what?”

“About you of course. Only a complete loser would ever break up with a woman like you.”

Buffy could feel her cheeks burn and she look down at the sand, trying to make the red disappear.

“Does anyone else know about Lilly?” Buffy asked. She really felt that she needed to change subject, and Lilly’s problems were much more important than her past.

“Lilly goes in the school Willow is working at, but she hasn’t seen anything unusual about her in classes. She’s very strong, I think, and she hides it pretty well. But such as now, she just can’t hold back.”

“Has she ever cried at your practices?”

“No. She has looked sad but nothing more than that.”

Buffy sighed and brought her hands to her face. “Maybe we can… Is it too risky to go visit at her house?”

Spike chewed his bottom lip. “I think we have to build up the trust even more before that. We can have a goal, that in a week we will come over and just check. I know that’s quiet short time and she may not trust us that much at that point, but still. What do you think?”

“I think that’s a good idea. Let’s do that. When is you’re next practice?”

“Tomorrow afternoon, at 3 pm. Maybe you could go there too?”

Buffy nodded. “It’s a date.” Damn it. Me and my stupid mouth. “I mean, not a date as… date. A date as a…”

Spike laughed. “I know what you meant, pet,” he said.

“You know, I should probably get going,” Buffy said.

“You want me to follow you home?”

“Oh, that’s not necessary. Stay here, look at the waves. It must be killing ya not to be out there,” Buffy said, smiling. “I’ll come here tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, okay. 3 o’clock,” Spike said before leaning in and repeating the kiss on the cheek which he did the night before, and as yesterday, Buffy felt the same reaction to it. If not stronger. Damn it. Things don’t seem to go my way…

Chapter 7 - Phone Calls

The sun was shining and Buffy clearly enjoyed the heat where she sat on the beach the next day, watching Spike have his surfing practice with the kids.

It was said on the radio by the two old men with their funny hypothetic voices that there was going to be rain later that day. Some guy out on the field had read it when he saw his cows move to the other end of the field.

Buffy chuckled. Maybe the crazy men were right, but it didn’t matter. She liked the place, more than she ever would have thought. In just a few days she had made a few close, new friends. It would be hard to leave when her vacation came to an end.

No need to think of that now, though, she thought. I still got more than six weeks left.
Buffy smiled as Spike showed the kids how to do a special move. They all seemed to worship him, and he was so nice to all of them. Buffy could see Lilly standing beside Spike and smiling brightly. She was so happy and it hurt Buffy to know that she wasn’t happy at home. She really hoped she and Spike could help the little girl.

“Good! Stand up… And… Down, now paddle! Great, faster!” Buffy could hear Spike instruct the group. “You’re great, guys. Well, the waves today aren’t that special, what do you say about calling it a night?”

A lot of complaining ‘no’s’ filled the air and Spike chuckled. “Oh, come on, guys. You do know that it’s not worth standing on that board in the water now. It’s too calm, but I heard that it should be some winds this weekend. Why won’t we continue then instead? Oh, and I’d like you to meet my friend Buffy.”

Spike gave Buffy a wink and she stood up and walked towards the little group. “This is my friend Buffy from America, Buffy, this is the group,” Spike said with a smirk and put an arm around her shoulder. Buffy felt her knees become weaker at the feel of him so close to her but fought to not say or do something stupid.

“Hello, Buffy,” the group mumbled at the same time which made Buffy giggle.

“Hey. Nice to meet you all.”

“So, I guess we will be seeing her some more, won’t we?” Spike asked tilting his head and looking at Buffy.

Buffy blushed and mumbled a “maybe…”

“Okay, guys. See you this weekend.”

The kids started to pack their things and walk away from the couple still standing in the same position as before. Spike realized he hadn’t let go of Buffy’s shoulder and awkwardly he pulled his arms away, sighing at the loss of contact.

“Um… So, did you enjoy the lesson? Hope it wasn’t too dull.”

“No, absolutely not. I enjoyed it, it was fun to see the kids half my age that were more than twice better than me,” she chuckled and Spike joined her.

“Um, Spike?” A dark haired boy said behind them
“Oh, hi, Connor. Did you get a hold on the position today?”

The boy named Connor nodded. “Yeah, better. Listen, I was wondering if you think I could join the surfing competition this weekend? I mean, I know I haven’t surfed for a long time but I kinda wanted to try anyway. My friends have already signed up but I thought I’d ask you first.”

“Of course, you can do that. But don’t pressure yourself too hard, it is your first competition after all.”

“Thanks Spike,” Connor smiled. “Then I can prove them I actually can surf…” The last words he said more to himself than to Spike and Spike frowned.

“Who them? Your friends?”

Connor shrugged. “Yeah, they don’t really think I can so...”

“You go show them then, ‘cus you can,” Spike said, giving Connor a pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks. We were talking the other day about when you’re gonna go out on the Bone yard again?”

Spike glanced at Buffy quickly. “Uh… Not in a while, Connor. Everything needs to be right, otherwise I could just jump from a plane you know.”

“’kay. Just wondered. Anyway, nice to meet you Buffy. Bye.”

”Bye, Connor,” Buffy replied and watched the boy walk after the others. She glanced at Spike who had a deep frown on his face.

“Hello? Earth to Spike. What are you thinking about?”

Spike realized Buffy was talking to him and shook his head. “Sorry, dozed off there for a minute.”

“What are you thinking about?” Buffy asked, curiously while tilting her head. Spike had to suppress a big smile. She looked so cute.

“No, just about Connor. I think it’s too early for him to compete but I can’t say no. You heard about his friends.”

“They do trust you a lot, Spike. It’s nice to see a person who is so easy with them. How old is Connor?”

“Sixteen, I think. Well, I just hope he don’t get too sad if he fails at the competition.”

“Are you gonna be there?” Buffy asked and Spike nodded.

“Gotta support my team, you know,” he smirked. “Wanna go back, pet?”

Buffy took a deep breath and asked without really thinking. “Hey, what do you say about dinner and a movie? My place.”

Spike looked surprised but happy. “I’d love to. What time?”

----------------
“How many video stores does this town have?” Buffy asked later that evening. Spike sat in the living room in front of the TV with his feet on the small table. Buffy gave him a bucket with popcorn and a glass of wine.

“Thanks. Two what I know of, why?”

Buffy sat down beside him and glared. “You know how long it took me to find one? I ask pretty much every person and they all said different things. Took me an hour to get there.”

“You know, pet,” Spike said, smiling, “you could’ve asked me to get it and the problem hadn’t come up.”

“You rent a movie? A good movie?” Buffy laughed and earned a glare from Spike. “Sorry, Spike, I’ve only known you for four days but I do know that you wouldn’t find a good movie even if you wanted to. You’d probably rent like… Cry Baby or something.”

“Hey, I have a good taste in movies. And Cry Baby is a good one,” Spike added which made Buffy laugh. “Well, it’s true! I mean Johnny Depp and that Traci Lord. Hot. He’s that cool love-hated drape and that other girl’s from a rich family, they fall in love. What’s not to love?”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were gay,” Buffy giggled and broke out in a hysteric laughter when she saw Spike frown.

“I’ll show you for gay,” he said and attacked her. Buffy squealed when she found herself trapped on the couch, lying on her back with Spike tickling her sides.

“Aah, stop it!” Buffy screamed but Spike just continued with an evil grin.

“Say pretty please.”

“No.” Spike kept tickling her sides and she finally gave in. “Okay, okay please!”

“You didn’t say pretty…”

“I won’t say- ookay, pretty please!”

“What I didn’t hear you?” Spike grinned and Buffy glared at him through the laughter.

“Pretty please!”

“Good, girl. I think you’ve had enough,” Spike told her and stopped, but he didn’t set up just yet. Buffy was still trapped between him and the couch.

“That was just mean,” Buffy told him with a pout on her lips. Spike found himself staring intensely at her glossy lips. God, I want to kiss her, he thought and it took all his will power not to crash his lips against hers.

Buffy had noticed the change in Spike’s face and her eyes went from his lips to his eyes and back again. Suddenly he leant forward, slowly… Oh, god, oh god! He was mere inches away when her cell screamed out loud and the moment was gone. Spike slowly sat up and looked around after her cell.

“Yours?”

“Yeah,” she said and brought up her cell from her jack pocket. “Is it okay if I take this call?”

Spike nodded in agreement and took a sip of his drink.

“Hello?”

“Buffy, where the hell are you?!”

“W-what?” Buffy said confused until she understood. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me…”

“You didn’t answer me, Buffy,” Angel continued, furious. “I’ve tried to get a hold on you for days! I’ve come by your house for five fucking days and you haven’t opened up one time! Just Cordy and Doyle one time. Why the hell are they there? Where are you?”

“God, slow down…” Buffy mumbled and quickly glanced at Spike who had a deep frown written all over his face.

“I won’t slow down! I called your dad too; he hasn’t heard a word from you. Neither has your mother.”

“My mom would never tell you anything and you know it.”

“Don’t be such a bitch, Buffy. I was worried about you.”

Buffy scowled. “Worried my ass.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Angel replied angrily.

She sighed. “Do you remember seven days ago, Angel?” Spike turned his head towards Buffy when he heard the name. Angel, wasn’t that her ex? “We broke up!”

“No, we didn’t. We had an argument.”

Buffy silently cried out. “For God’s sake, Angel! Where the hell were you that night! I said more than once that it was over!”

“Can I come over so we can talk about this at least?”

“No. I’m not home.”

“Fine, then I’ll go to your mom. Or do you want me to call your dad and get him to find you?”

“Fuck you, Angel. I said it before and I’m saying it again for the last time. Don’t call me ever again, okay? And don’t you get my father in to this. He can’t decide what I want to do.”

“Oh, we will just see about that, won’t we…” Angel replied.

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Buffy are you okay?” Spike asked when he couldn’t take it anymore. Angel became quiet and Buffy looked at Spike.

“Buffy… Who’s that?” Angel growled.

“It’s… It’s-“ Buffy didn’t have a chance to end the sentences before her cell was being taken from her by Spike.

“Listen here, Angel. We’re trying to have a nice time to ourselves, me and Buffy, and we were just going to bed, not thinking of sleeping so I suggest you hang up right now or you’ll get a really cranky man after you.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Spike!” Buffy squealed in a panicked whisper. “What are you…”

Spike turned towards Buffy with a sexy smirk and gave her a gesture that told her to be quiet.

“I’m Spike, Buffy’s boyfriend, so you just shut the fuck up and stop calling her.” Spike finished the call and gave it back to a shocked Buffy. When she didn’t say anything Spike looked up and had to suppress a laugh at her fish-like opened mouth.

“What a… Spike, what the hell were you thinking?!” She shrieked. “I swear he’s gonna call my dad. How did you even think of that story? I mean it was so…” She trailed off and with her chest drawing in air. “… Cool.”

Spike frowned slightly when Buffy changed her tone. Now she was instead laughing hard. “You’re not mad?” He asked, unsure.

“No… That was too funny. God, what a shock the guy must have gotten!” Buffy continued and leant forward to hug Spike. “Thank you. What would I do without you?”

Spike smiled and held on to her. “Guess we won’t have to find out ‘cus I’m not going anywhere.”

Buffy slowly yawned and blinked a few times when she felt the sun stick her in the eyes. It took her some seconds to realize where she was before she knew it was her sofa. ‘Did I fall asleep here?’ she thought and sighed. Suddenly she felt a movement where her head was, an arm around her shoulders, holding her tight and she sat up as she had been burned.

Spike.

Spike slowly opened his eyes to see a very shocked Buffy.

“Um. Good morning. Did-did we fall asleep?” He asked, uncertain and sat up.

Buffy nervously tucked a strain of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. So it seems.”

They were quiet for a few minutes in an awkward silence until Spike felt the need to ask her. “Buffy, are you okay?”

Buffy shot up her head. “Yeah. Fine, I’m great actually!”

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her skeptically. “Really?”

“Really-really,” she said waving with her hand. “You want breakfast? I can go make some. You sit here.”

Spike watched helplessly as Buffy practically ran out of the living room into the kitchen. Fine my ass. He stood up and walked after her into the other little room. He stopped in the doorway and leant against the doorframe, crossing his arms.

“Buffy, you’re not fine.”

She jumped since she hadn’t heard him come after her and gave him a reassuring smile. “I am. Its okay, Spike.”

“No, you’re not. You’re acting funny.”

“I’m not acting-“

She was cut of by the telephone ringing and she sighed. “Sorry, I’m just gonna go check who it is.”

Spike sighed and watched her walk past him. “Okay, but we’re gonna have to talk after that.”

Buffy nodded and picked up her phone, sighing when she saw Sunnydale’s dialing code. She put the cell in her pocket and walked back to the kitchen.

“You’re not gonna answer that?” Spike asked.

“No. It’s from Sunnydale. Could be Angel,” she simply replied.

“Is that why you’re acting this way? Because of what I said to Angel? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I-“

“No, no, Spike. That was good, maybe he can understand that we’re history now. So, thank you.”

“Then what is it?” Spike tilted his head and watched Buffy as she turned around, putting her hands on the island.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” She smiled.

“Probably not, but I like to see you blush,” Spike grinned, which Buffy just shook her head at. “I do know. But, I can’t see the big deal. You fell asleep. So did I. On the same couch, yes, but nothing happened. It’s normal, I mean I’ve fallen asleep on the couch with Xander, and Fred before. No biggie.” The truth though, was that he hadn’t. Not with someone he considered as a friend, even though he liked her more than that. But he didn’t want to freak her out even more.

“You’re probably right. I was just, shocked. I didn’t remember falling asleep… like that.”

“Me neither.” Spike glanced down, suddenly feeling nervous. “So… We’re okay?”

“We’re okay,” Buffy said, walking to him and giving him a hug. Spike put his arms around her waist and couldn’t resist not smelling her hair. Vanilla.

“So,” Buffy continued, pulling herself out of Spike’s arms, even though she very much would like to stay there. “Are we gonna continue our little mission?”

Spike frowned. “Mission?”

“Yeah, you know the Lily mission?”

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, we should. Considering the weather I’m pretty sure she’s at the beach with her friends. Wanna go there? We can eat breakfast at Tara’s?”

“That’s sounds like a great idea.”

----------------------------------------

Spike and Buffy spent the whole day with Lily and at the end of the day they really felt that they had earned more and more of her trust. But she still hadn’t said anything about her problems at home, which could wait though.

The following days they got to know her more and more. Buffy clearly enjoyed the time she spent with her, but also with Spike. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was falling. He was so nice, caring and everything she ever could have wished for. But how could that last? In a few weeks she was going back to Sunnydale and he was living here – a thousand miles away. And of course, she had made clear more than once that she didn’t want a relationship with him.

Since they met Drusilla at the beach a few days ago, Spike seemed a bit… worried. He hadn’t said anything more about her, except that she was his ex from a long relationship. He had promised to tell her all about her later and Buffy didn’t really complain, though she was a bit curious about their history. Drusilla sure didn’t seem like a normal woman.

She sighed as she made her way through the city, almost a week later. She had decided she needed a walk to clear her mind before they were going to Lilly’s house.

Spike had, when Lily was in the water, picked up her backpack and taken her flip flops. Then they’d have a reason to visit her later.

The thought hit her that she didn’t have anything to read. She had only brought one book with her and that one she was already finished with. Maybe Cornwall had a library? She met an older lady and she decided to ask her.

“Excuse me, do you know if there’s a library somewhere?” Buffy asked her.

“Oh, you’re not from here, are you my dear?”

“No, I’m not,” Buffy smiled. “I’m from California.”

“Then that explains why you didn’t know,” the woman said with a gentle smile. “Actually, there is one at the top of the hill. If you just walk this way a kilometer, and then turn left you will see it. It is a big house, you can’t miss it.”

Buffy thanked the woman and made her way towards the library. About twenty minutes later she started to wonder if she had gone wrong, but just when she was about to walk back she saw a pretty big tree house with high glass windows and a sign with the text “Library”.

“Guess I’m right,” she thought and started to walk to the entrance.

It was big, bigger than it looked outside. There were shelves with tons of books and a comfy little place in the middle with a few pieces of furniture.

“Wow,” Buffy mumbled under her breath.

“Can I help you?”

Buffy turned around to face a kind looking man in a costume and glasses. “Oh, hi. Yes, um, I’m here on vacation and I realized that I can’t be here without a good book so… Here I am,” Buffy smiled. “This is a nice place.”

“Thank you,” the man smiled. “I’m Rupert Giles.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “The Rupert Giles? The writer?”

Giles laughed. “That would probably be it, yes.”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe this,” Buffy smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Buffy Summers. Totally addicted to your books. So, do you have anything you think I’d like?”

Chapter 9

There wasn’t just one book, Buffy realized half an hour later. It was at least seven different ones and she had big troubles picking out which ones she really wanted to read.

“And there’s also this one…”

“No, please, Mr. Giles. I’m already having too much trouble picking out which ones,” Buffy laughed.

“Please, call me Giles. Everyone else does it and as for the books, you can borrow as many as you want,” Giles assured her.

“No, I can’t do that. It’s not right…”

“Buffy, it’s a library; you’re supposed to borrow books.”

“Yeah, but not this many!”

Giles laughed at her troubled face. He really liked this girl. “Take it or leave it, Buffy,” he smiled.

“Okay, okay. I’ll take it,” Buffy mumbled while she tried to hold onto every book. “But I think I might stop here, I mean I already have like… eight books.”

“Do as you like. Come on, let’s go to the desk and I’ll get you a bag.”

“Thanks.”

“It was good that you came now because I was just on my way home.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I keep you here? I came like a half an hour ago.”

“It’s alright. Not that many people come here everyday, especially not new faces. It’s always fun to meet new people.”

“I agree with you, but still…”

“Buffy, please,” Giles laughed. “I enjoyed it. You have to come back here again sometime.” He gave her the bag and Buffy thanked him again. “Here you go. Do you have a long way back to your house?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m trying to get to know the village,” Buffy assured him.

“You sure? Because otherwise I could - Ow…” Giles trailed off and put a hand against his chest. Buffy frowned.

“A-are you okay?”

“Yes, it’s fine, thank you. Sometimes I - OW!” Giles exclaimed and fell backwards against the wall.

“Giles! Oh my god, you’re not okay,” Buffy said as she sat down beside him.


“It is, sometimes I get chest pain that’s all,” he said and tried to stand up but Buffy pushed him down again.

“No, you sit down. Do you have anyone I can call? Or should I call the hospital?”

Giles shook his head. “I forgot to take my medicine this morning, that’s probably why. I just need to take it and then it’ll be over.”

“But I’m not letting you drive alone. Come on, give me you car keys.” Giles started to protest but Buffy simply cut him off. “No buts. Come on, I’ll get you home.”

----------------------------------------

“Is this the right house?” Buffy asked as she drove down a small road.

“Yeah, the one on the left. I really appreciate this, Buffy, but you didn’t have to.”

“Shut up,” Buffy smiled. “This is a nice house, and a nice view. You can see the ocean from here right?”

“Yes, it’s quite posh, at least from the veranda.”

Buffy stopped the car and opened the door. “Come on, I’ll help you inside.”

“Buffy, that’s enough,” he smiled. “I can walk.”

“I won’t leave you here so you’re gonna have to deal with it,” Buffy answered. “What if you get another chest pain-attack and fall on the stairs. Nope. I’m following you up there.”

Giles just shook his head. “That’s sweet, Buffy.”

They made their way up the stairs to the front door, which was really long. When they finally came up to the door Giles started to look in his pocket after the key.

“Bloody hell… I think I forgot my key in the library. Maybe someone’s home…” He said and knocked on the door.

Soon a girl with blonde, slightly curled hair showed up in the door. She looked like she was maybe sixteen-seventeen years old. Doesn’t she look familiar? Maybe I’ve seen her on the beach. Her face lit up when she saw Giles and burst out.

“Dad! We’re have you been? I was really worried! You’re usually home much earlier and – oh, hi, who are you?” The girl suddenly saw Buffy standing beside him.

“Hi, I was in the library with your dad and he had some chest pains. I didn’t want to leave him there so I helped him home.”

“Oh, god,” the girl said with a worried look on her face, putting her hand over her mouth. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, dear, I’m fine, as I said to Buffy here before I could’ve made it without her too, but it was nice of her to help me though.”

“Couldn’t leave you there, could I?” Buffy answered again, with a smirk. “I’m Buffy, by the way.”

“Chelsea”, she introduced herself and shook her hand, then a frown showed up on her face and she slightly tilted her head. “Don’t I know you?”

“Don’t think so,” Buffy said. “I came here a little more than a week ago.”

“Still… Anyway, thank you so much, Buffy. Why won’t you come inside?”

“Oh, thanks but I think-“

“Come on, you can need some kind of… reward for helping me here,” Giles added. “I can make some coffee if you like.”

“Yeah well… Okay,” Buffy shrugged and walked inside the cute little house. “Again, this is a nice house.”

Chelsea gestured for Buffy to follow her. “Thank you. My grandfather built it.”

“Oh, he did? It’s amazing.”

“Do you want some chocolate cake? I just made it so it’s warm and fresh,” she smiled.
Buffy nodded in agreement and followed Chelsea out on the veranda. “Sit down, I’ll go get some.”

A few minutes later they were all sitting at the veranda, talking and eating. Buffy really enjoyed the company; they were both very nice and kind. Giles had worked at the library for a really long time, even though he wasn’t that old, only fifty. He also had a library at a school where he worked more during the school years.

Chelsea was sixteen, turning seventeen in a few months, and went to the same high school Giles worked on and she seemed to be really nice.

“So, Buffy. How come you decided to come here?” Chelsea asked, taking a bite on her cake.

“I-“ Buffy was cut off by the door bell and Giles stood up.

“I’ll get it,” he said and gestured for Buffy to continue.

“Well, mostly because I just ended a relationship. I couldn’t stand to be in the same city during the rest of the summer and Cornwall just happened to be the vacation spot that showed up when I searched on the internet.”

“Really? I don’t think I’d dare to do that. But sometimes you have to expose yourself for the things you don’t like huh?”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Buffy smiled. “How come-“

“Look who I found at the doorstep,” Giles said and Buffy followed the voice and almost dropped her cup.

“Spike!” Chelsea exclaimed and stood up to give him a hug. “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you but it’s been so long.”

“Hi, Chels,” Spike replied, still not seeing Buffy. “I know, but there’s been a lot of things lately that I-“ He glanced to the table and saw Buffy sitting there, probably as shocked as himself.

“Buffy?”

“Hi, Spike.”

“W-what are you doing here?” He asked with a blank expression on his face.

“Do you two know each other?” Chelsea wondered and looked between Spike and Buffy.

“We met at Tara’s. We’ve been hanging out for a couple of days.”

“Oh, wait! Is that the girl you talked-“ Chelsea started but trailed off when she saw Spike’s meaning sight.

“Buffy stopped by the library and I got some chest pains, nothing to worry about, William,” Giles added when Spike’s expression turned worried. “Buffy insisted on helping me home.”

“Oh, are you okay?” Spike continued. “Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?”

“No, I’m fine. I forgot to take my pills this morning, that’s probably the reason.”

“Dad-“ Spike started but Giles cut him off.

“No, William. I know that you’re worried but it’s okay. Why won’t you sit down with us?”

“Oh I-“ Buffy glanced at the clock and at Spike’s weirdly uncomfortable expression. What was wrong?

“Um, Spike? Maybe we should go if we’re gonna go to Lily’s house, I mean.”

Spike nodded. “Yeah. Maybe we should. Sorry, but I’ll come by another day and we can have a chat, okay?”

“Promise,” Chelsea grinned and gave him a good bye hug. When she leant in she whispered; “And I want to know everything then.”

Spike smiled and gave his dad a quick hug before he went out to the hallway. “Thank you,” Buffy said. “It was nice to meet you both. Maybe we can continue this another time?”

“Sure, you’re welcome whenever you want,” Giles replied and Buffy waved goodbye before she went out after Spike, who oddly enough had already walked down to his car. Buffy frowned and followed him.

“Um, Spike?”

“Jump in, goldilocks,” he said and Buffy nodded. Goldilocks, she thought. That’s a new one. I like it. She smiled for herself as she sat down in the front seat. But when she saw Spike’s still blank face she frowned.

“Spike, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t start that shit, you know what you did to me when we fell asleep on the couch. You made me say what was wrong when I denied it. So spill.”

“I said it’s nothing,” Spike said, clearly irritated as he started the car.

“Spike…”

“Do you even listen!” Spike exclaimed. “Nothing means nothing.”

“True, but in this case it’s not. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Then what? Look, maybe we could take this Lily thing another night because you really don’t seem like you’re in the mood.”

“No, we’re gonna do this.”

“Can you just please tell me what’s wrong!”

Spike still didn’t answer; he just drove faster and held the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“Spike, slow down! Look, if you don’t listen to what I’m saying I’m getting out of this car right now, no matter what speed it is.” He just kept watching the road in front of him and Buffy felt the tears in her eyes. “Please, you’re scaring me.”

Her soft voice woke him and he looked at her and felt his heart clench. She was really scared. He pressed the breaks and parked the car on the side of the road.

There was an absolute silence. The only thing that could be heard was the low sound of the engine. Buffy swallowed. She didn’t dare to look at him; she didn’t want to meet whatever expression he had on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, quietly. “I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just…” He sighed as he clenched his jaw, showing the firm cheek bones, and turned to face her. “I… It’s a lot of things going on in my family which no one knows about and you were about to find out and… Look, I’m sorry I was treating you like that. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry I scared you.” He reached out and tucked a strain of hair behind her ear and Buffy finally turned to face him.

“I’m sorry, whatever I did,” Buffy chocked out and Spike put his hands on each cheek.

“No, don’t, you didn’t do anything wrong! I just overreacted. Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do.”

“Can you please tell me what you thought I did wrong then?” Buffy said.

Spike smiled weakly at her, still with one hand at her cheek and nodded. “Fair enough. Okay, here goes…”

Before you start reading the chapter, please read the Author's Note!

---

Chapter 10 - The Hard Past

They sat outside the car on the hood. Buffy held her hands together in her lap and fixated her eyes on the ground, not to make Spike feel uncomfortable with her staring all the time.

“Okay,” Spike sighed. “It’s… I never told anyone the whole story. Just small pieces so please don’t tell anyone,” he said making eye contact with her. Buffy nodded. What else could she do when he was almost pleading? He offered to tell her his story; he offered her his trust, so she wouldn’t screw it all up by telling anyone. And by the way, who could that be?

“Of course I won’t”, she told him softly.

“Good. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just…”

“Spike, it’s okay. I understand.”

“Okay…” He inhaled and glanced at the surroundings. “Well, it started about two years ago. I had just moved out of the house again, there were some difficulties with the rent and the apartment so I decided to live in my dad’s house for a little while. Back then, it was me, Chelsea, dad… And mum.”

Buffy glanced at Spike and felt her heart ache for the pained look on his face.

“She… When I moved, I had noticed she wasn’t really herself. My mother was always very open and happy, but at that point she had just gotten less enthusiastic over life. It’s hard to describe… Every time I tried to talk to her she covered it up and instantly put on a fake smile. My dad tried too with no progress. I told myself she was just depressed and it worked, for a little while… I finally got some money and decided to move. Two weeks later I went to visit them and see how they were doing, especially my mum.” Spike stopped for a few moments and Buffy made no intention on pushing him. He swallowed hard and bit his lip before continuing. “It was quiet when I stepped inside, I called out a few times then I went up to my old room to get some stuff I forgot when I moved. I went past the bathroom and… that’s when I saw her, laying there on the floor, blood covering her arms and a bottle of pills on her left.”

“Oh my god,” Buffy gaped and put a hand on Spike’s arm, at loss of what else to do. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was something else I could say but…”

“It’s okay, Buffy. I appreciate it.” He smiled a weakly at her with apprehensive eyes, and then he looked down. Buffy couldn’t help herself. She embraced him and buried her head in his shoulder. He seemed kind of shocked at first, but soon returned the hug.

“You don’t have to tell me, Spike,” Buffy said, pulling away slightly to see into his eyes and making sure he understood. “It was stupid of me to make you tell. I fully understand if you don’t want to.”

“I think it’s for the best. I-I have to… get it out,” Spike mumbled into her shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. Buffy nodded and he continued. “Anyway, I was paralyzed; I just froze for what felt like hours, then I don’t even really know what I did. I guess I tried to wake her up, I called dad, an ambulance… An hour later they told us she’d been dead for probably hours before I got there.”

“I’m so sorry. I… I wish there was something I could do… Do you… Do you know why?”

Spike shook his head and slipped out of Buffy’s embrace, even though he really didn’t want to leave the comfort she was offering him. “But later we found out that she was diagnosed with cancer two months earlier. She hadn’t told us anything about it and she probably didn’t want to. Maybe that’s why she killed herself? But I don’t understand why, she could’ve been healed from it.”

Buffy nodded and stroke the hair in the nape of his neck. “I understand.”

Spike suddenly scowled. “Yeah, everybody says they do. Nobody really does know though.” He stood up and started pacing back and forward in front of the car.

“But I do know.”

“Please, Buffy, you couldn’t possibly understand that so don’t say you do, it’s just fake.”

“Can you stop it?” Buffy exclaimed. “Don’t do that. I do know and just because-“

“Yeah, how would you know now?” Spike asked sarcastically.

“Because my mother”, she said, “was diagnosed with a brain tumor.”

Spike froze and glanced at Buffy. Oh god, I really messed it up. “Buffy-“

“No, it’s okay. I felt the same way, but I need you to understand and listen. I do know how you feel, and felt for that matter.”

“When?”

“Five years ago. I’d just started collage, but I dropped out for a few months to start working and help her out at home. The hospital bills were really high and at that time I didn’t have any contact with my dad so he couldn’t help out with the money issue.”

“Is she okay now?” Spike dared to ask.

“Yes, she is. But it was close, I found her on the sofa one day, unconscious. I pretty much did the same as you did, paced, called, threw up… Her heart stopped but they got it working again.”

“I’m glad,” Spike said and went back to the car and sat down beside her. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“It’s okay,” Buffy assured him. “Would you like to go on?”

Spike nodded. “Listen, just four people know anything about this. Willow, Tara, Xander and Fred, but they don’t know everything, just pieces of it so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell them.”

“No, of course not.”

“Good… Well, this is one reason I stayed in Cornwall. My dad was a wreck even though he tried to hide it from me and Chels. Chelsea was… She was freaking me out. When I told her what had happened, she just stared at me like I was insane. She dozed off; shut me out until she saw the medical staff bring her body inside. Then she broke apart and I was almost relieved.

But the thing was that she continued like that for weeks. She didn’t cry at the funeral, didn’t say a word and I got scared. During that time I got a job in London, but I couldn’t take it. Not when she was acting like that. And of course, dad got the chest pain about that time so everything was pretty much a living hell for a half year. Chelsea got into some troubles at school, but I think that she realized what she really was doing after some time and she became better. Still I couldn’t leave, so that’s why I’m still here.”

Buffy slowly nodded. But she still didn’t understand one thing. “But… Why were you so mad at your house?”

“Because,” Spike sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This is what I wanted to hide from everyone. I didn’t want every single person to know about my messed up family and why I stayed, hell I didn’t even want my dad to continue work. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m ashamed of them, more the opposite. I love them, but… If other people knew then it would make the whole thing so much more real, and I didn’t want that. Probably still don’t. That’s why, because I’ve known you for a little more than a week and you got to know about the dark part of my past, but I think that… You probably are the best person I can tell about this.”

Buffy opened her mouth to say something but she didn’t have the words. She could never have guessed that that was the reason Spike behaved like that.

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Buffy whispered, making eye contact with him, then slightly laughing a miserable laugh. “Seems like it is the only thing I’ve been saying now, huh?”

“Don’t be, Buffy, please,” Spike almost pleaded. “I didn’t have the right to act like that. I’m the one who should apologize to you and I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.” Spike started shaking his head and looked down at the ground, feeling his eyes water up.

“I’ve known you for a little more than a week, and still I can’t stand the thought of losing you. Please, Buffy, please forgive me.” He sounded so desperate and sad that Buffy didn’t have the heart to say no, and she had already forgiven him.

“It’s all right,” she said as stroked his back which made him glance up at her. She swallowed hard when she saw his blue eyes eying her. They were still for a few moments before Spike, to Buffy’s surprise, leant forward and captured her lips. Buffy felt her eyes widened before she got lost in the kiss. All of the other thoughts of not getting involved with anyone, stuck in the back of her brain.

Spike put his arms around her and pulled her carefully closer to him and Buffy put her hands on his chest to support her. When breathing became an issue they parted and Spike rested his forehead on Buffy’s while he tried to catch his breath.

Still with the feeling of his lips on hers, Buffy felt the anxiety start to build in her chest. This was wrong, she thought. Even though she wanted him, longed for him this wasn’t right. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way.

Spike felt her tense up and frowned at her. “Buffy? I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that… Was it-“

“N-no, I just…” Buffy trailed off at loss of words before she pulled out of Spike’s embrace and stood up. “It isn’t supposed to be like this, I’m not supposed to…”

Spike waited for her to continue but the words never came. “Supposed to be like… what?” He asked.

“Not like… this!” She exclaimed. “Why do things never go my way?” Buffy continued, more to herself than to Spike. "Listen… I've been hurt before and I.....I need time. I need to learn to trust again before something can come of anything..... and I don't know if there will be a something. But I really would like to get to know you better. I-Is that okay?"

”I didn’t ask for anything else,” Spike implied, tilting his head. “Of course it is okay, Buffy. I know it’s weird after such short time but…” Spike took a step back and scratched the back of his neck with his hand, glancing down. “When I think of the idea of… losing you, it’s…”

Buffy waited for him to continue with a frown on her face. Finally, he glanced up and looked into her eyes. “I can’t stand it. I just want to get to know you a little more, that’s all I ask for. As a friend.”

Buffy regarded him for a moment, searching for something in his eyes. What was she looking for? An answer? A sign that all he said was a lie? She didn’t know. What she did know though was that she saw how sincere he was and when she realized how pleading his eyes was she made up her mind.

“Alright.”

Spike seemed taken back by her answer and swallowed. “Alright?”

“Alright as in I also want to get to know you more. But there’s just something I want to ask first… One thing I feel that I need to know of before…” She mumbled, while she took a step back. “About… About Drusilla.”

The name of his ex made Spike tilt his head with a slight frown. “What’s her story?”

Chapter 11 - About her

“It’s just… One thing…” She mumbled, while she took a step back. “About… About Drusilla. What’s her story?”

Spike nodded, understanding that she wanted to know about his crazy ex of a girlfriend and as much as he wanted to just forget about her – he couldn’t. He made an attempt to sit down on the hood of the car once again and Buffy followed his motions.

“I felt that I need to know about her, but if you’re not comfortable with it I understand.”

Spike shook his head and gave her a weak smile. “It’s alright, and since you had the misfortune to meet her a few days ago I think it’s only right to let you know.” He stopped for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts and thinking of a way to tell her this. “Me and Dru… we go way back in time. We went to the same high school, she moved here from London during our second year. I remember the first time I saw her outside the school with her friends, her long black hair being the first thing to draw my attention to her and then she turned around. Those eyes met mine and I fell head over heels in love with her…”

Spike stopped to let out a heavy sigh. “I was a fool, I know,” he stated. “But back then I was William.” He said his name with a slight disgust. “William the bad poet, William with his geeky clothes… I didn’t have any friends; no one wanted to be near me. I was used to it, and when I saw I realized that she was out of my league, I wasn’t worthy. And, besides, I still had my obsession for a girl called Cecily who I loved more than anything, well; at least I thought I loved her. I wrote her poetry once but I made a fool out of myself… She showed it to her friends and they started calling me William the Bloody because of my bad poetry and I was heartbroken. At a party, just before our last year, I sneaked inside and there she was. I was stupid enough to declare my love for her and she just… laughed right in my face along with everyone.”

Buffy could only imagine the horrible incident. Even though it was such a long time ago, she saw in his pained face that it had hurt him more than she had thought from the beginning.

Spike turned to look at her from his spot on the car. “I didn’t leave right the way which I probably should’ve done to avoid all the coming years but done is done. Anyway, instead I got really drunk. I had never touched alcohol before so I didn’t know how much I could take and I got really wasted. Ended up in a bloody wardrobe,” he scoffed. “That was only minutes before I met her… Drusilla, as I struggled out into one of the bedrooms. I hadn’t spoken to Drusilla, not even once and I was stunned when she closed the door and moved towards me, telling me that she had seen my true self.”

“Uh… What are you talking about D-Drusilla?” He slightly slurred, trying to make the room stop spinning.

Drusilla grinned and continued to move forward. “You know… I’ve seen you, my dark prince. At night… inside my head,” she said, tilting her head and moving her hands up to her temple. Something about her made him cringe and he swallowed. “Miss Edith told me you’d be here,” she continued. “She told me, that tonight my sweet William would give up the silly girl downstairs.”

“Who?” William stuttered. “Cecily?”

“That’s her. She also showed me the real William, the one who’s hiding behind your skin.” As she said the last sentence, she carefully touched his arm and let her fingers slowly move up to his shoulder, moving over his throat to his cheek. “Miss Edith said I’d bring him out.”

“W-who’s Miss Edith?”

“I believe you’ll meet her… eventually”, she added with a smirk. “Do you want me to show you the real you, William? I could show you things; teach you to appreciate this world... You’ll be mine, William.”

William swallowed for what felt like the hundredth time in just a few minutes. “Yours?”

“Mine,” she stated as she moved forward and crashed her lips against his.

“Um… I think I’ll stop that event there…” Spike slightly smiled, a bit embarrassed and Buffy returned the smile. “Anyway, after that everything changed. Just a few days after I bleached my hair, threw away all of my old clothes… Bought the leather duster and combat boots. For the first time in so long I was happy, and Drusilla I was madly in love with Drusilla. She brought me out; she made me who I am today… For better or worse, you decide,” he added.

“We started school and I hung out with her friends and all of a sudden everyone respected me. When we finished school I was known as Spike and well… I’ve kept it.”

“What happened after you graduated?” Buffy asked. “Did you two… date?”

“We did,” Spike nodded. “And we continued after graduation too. None of us went to college and we spent a lot of time together until I got a job and moved out of my parent’s house. We were together, believe it or not, until almost two years ago. The last year of our relationship wasn’t good. Her dad has a lot of money which he gave to her so she didn’t have to work. I was gone a lot, worked at a bar in a town nearby and one night when I came home I found her in bed with some guy.”

Buffy opened and closed her mouth, trying to find the right words but all she found was an ‘oh’.

“Yeah, I know. For what felt like minutes I just stood there until she noticed me and turned her head, still not moving away from the guy beneath her and smiled. She smiled!” Spike said, disgusted. “Then she asked me to join them and that was when I snapped out of my trance and almost broke every available object in the house.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Buffy told him sincerely.

“I moved out a few days later, much to Dru’s surprise. I still can’t believe she thought I’d stay after that. We had an argument and suddenly secrets were reviled… Apparently she hadn’t been faithful for a long time; she’d been with a lot of men during the past year and even before that. Just when I was about to walk out the door she exclaimed;

“I’m pregnant,” she said.

Spike stopped in the doorway, the bag still in his hand as he slowly turned around. “You’re…”

“Yes, and you think you can just walk out like that, huh? I know you would never turn your back on your family, Spike,” she smirked. “You won’t do that now either.”

“Is it even mine?” He asked, his voice choked as her grin faltered.

“Why would you think it’s not?” That made Spike laugh out miserably.

“Yeah, why would I think that Drusilla?” He replied, sarcastically. “Maybe because you’ve been screwing with practically the whole bloody town!”

“Well just see about that won’t we,” Drusilla said. “But it is a big chance, Spike, that this baby is yours and you won’t turn your back on it.”

“I-I…” He started but trailed off, swallowing hard. “I don’t know… I need to think, I –“

“Think all you want, William. I know what you’re gonna do…” Drusilla interrupted him with a smirk.

“Oh my god,” Buffy whispered. “I had no idea…” Spike nodded and mumbled a ‘yeah’. “Did you… W-was it yours?”

A sudden pained expression appeared on Spike face and he tilted his head to face her. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Buffy asked, confused and he shook his head.

“I returned two days later. I had been thinking about the whole situation and decided that no matter how much I hated Drusilla for what she had done I couldn’t abandon the child that was possibly mine. But when I returned… Guess who was in our old bedroom once again with a new man? I got mad, mostly because I was afraid she was hurting the baby and not because it hurt. Weirdly enough, it didn’t… But as it turned out, she had gotten rid of it just the day before. I never got to know,” he trailed off, looking at his hands. Buffy reached for one and squeezed it gently.

“I’m so, so sorry you had to go through that. She’s a sick twisted woman, mind me for saying that.”

“She is,” Spike said. “I tried to get her to a shrink a few times, she just kept talking about how the stars and that bloody little doll Miss Edith wanted her to do different things. It was after that all the things started to go wrong…”

“I know it won’t make any difference, Spike, but I really am sorry…”

“Thanks, luv,” he replied, giving her a smile and sighed. “You think we could drop the subject for a little while? I’m feeling kind of drained…”

“Of course,” Buffy replied. “Thank you for telling me this, I appreciate that you trust me enough to share it with me.”

“I do… Trust you, I mean,” he said.

Buffy felt her heart skip a beat at the statement and she let a genuine smile grace her lips before breaking eye contact with him. She felt that if she didn’t move right now things would end up bad…

“Not that I want to ruin this moment,” Buffy stuttered with a weak smile, “but didn’t we have a girl to visit?”

“Oh, shit! Yes we have, I forgot,” Spike exclaimed and put a hand on his forehead. “Come on, let’s go before it’s too dark.”

Chapter 12

The ride to Lily’s house was made in silence, neither of them could really think of something to say which was weird. After all, their heads were filled with questions and such as. When they reached her house they stepped out of the car and took a deep breath.

"Okay," Spike said, breaking the silence. "So, how are we gonna do this?"

Buffy bit her lip and put her hands at her hips. "I don’t know… But you have her flip flops, don’t you?"

Spike gestured to the car. "In there."

"Right… Well, can’t we just… Knock, tell Lily that she forgot those and hope to be invited or at least see something?"

Spike nodded in agreement and started to walk to the door. "Let’s go for it."

"Wait! Is it a good idea?" Buffy suddenly burst out, falling into steps beside him.

"It’s the only one we’ve got," Spike replied.

They walked to Lily’s front door and knocked normal at first but when no one came Spike knocked a little harder. Just when they were about to leave, the door was opened by a man which Buffy assumed was Lilly’s dad. He didn’t look very happy and his eyes were a little bit glossy.

"Can I help you?"

"Good evening, Mr. Simmons. I’m William Giles, Lily’s coach. She forgot some things at the training earlier today and I was wondering if I could give them to her?"

Mr. Simmons looked Spike, up and down for a few seconds before returning him a friendly smile. "Well, thank you, Mr. Giles. I’ll make sure Lily gets them."

He reached forward to take the flip flops out of Spike’s hand but Spike simply snatched them out of his reach. "The thing is, Mr. Simmons that I also need to speak to her so I can leave them to her, if you approve. Is she home?"

Mr. Simmons o-so-friendly smile disappeared and Buffy felt a sudden urge to leave as his cold eyes which were scanning her and Spike.

"What about?"

"The training, I need to tell her a few things till next time," Spike said, keeping a calm voice.

Mr. Simmons glanced at Buffy. "And who’s that?"

"A friend," Spike quickly covered. "Buffy Summers. I don’t want to rush things but we need to be off pretty soon so if Lily’s home then I’d like to speak with her. It won’t take long."

"She’s not-"

"Spike?"

The three grown ups turned their eyes to the stairs where Lily was standing, wearing a big shirt and shorts with her brown her loosely hanging down her shoulders.

"Well, Lily," Mr. Simmons said and put on his friendly smile again. "If Lily is up I can’t see why she shouldn’t speak to you. Come on, Lil."

Buffy watched as Lilly slowly made her way down the stairs, pass her dad and to Buffy and Spike. The looks the two of them were sending each other didn’t go unnoticed by Buffy or Spike.

"Hi, Lily," Spike said, offering her a smile. "You forgot your shoes at the training, thought I’d bring them here."

"Thank you," Lily replied smiling. "That was very nice of you." She glanced at her dad for a few seconds and Buffy frowned at the worried look in her eyes. Lily was sure as hell really uncomfortable and considering the look in her eyes, they where pleading for Buffy and Spike to leave.

"If that’s about it then-"

"Um, not I was just gonna tell you that uh, the… The-"

"-training," Buffy filled in.

"Yeah, training, exactly," Spike continued. "That we’re meeting up tomorrow since a few people are gonna compete in a few weeks, so if you want to come you’re welcome."

Lily nodded. "Okay, I’ll come. Uh, I mean – dad, is it okay if I go tomorrow?" Lily said, turning to her dad.

"’course, sweetie," he said. "You go ahead…"

"Thank you. Okay, what time?"

"We said eleven. So…" He turned to Buffy, silently asking if they were ready to go. "What do you say Buffy, maybe we should go?"

"Probably," Buffy murmured. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Simmons and I’ll see you tomorrow Lil."

A few minutes later they were both seated in the car again.

"Okay, so something’s up," Buffy sighed. "Did you see the looks? She was scared."

"Damn well she was…"

"What about her mom? Are they divorced?" Buffy asked, massaging her temple. "I didn’t see her in there."

"I don’t know," Spike answered with a sigh. "I’ve never asked her. I can talk to Willow though, she should know. Maybe we can get her mum’s address if you’re right about that she’s not living there. You coming to practice tomorrow? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s – "

"No, of course I’ll come," Buffy interrupted, glancing at his profile. She couldn’t keep from smiling when she saw his nervous look. "Spike, about before… It’s not gonna get weird between us now, is it?"

Spike turned to face her and shook his head, attempting a smile. "No. It won’t."

"Good," Buffy nodded. "Good…"

Sighing heavily, Spike started the engine and drove away from Lily’s house, as much as it pained him that he could do nothing more to help her right now. He was sure they would though – eventually. He and Buffy. Together they’d help her.

"You mind if I get off here?" Buffy suddenly asked, making Spike to tear his eyes off the road for a few seconds.

"Here?" He questioned, glancing out through the window. "We’re almost there."

"Yeah, I know, but I kinda felt that I needed a little air you know. It’s been a chaotic day."

Spike sent her a smile. "I know what you mean. You know what – my place is nearby. I’ll park the car and walk you home. I don’t want you to walk alone in the dark."

"But – "

"Uhu", Spike interrupted, waving his finger in front of her. "You didn’t let me the first night so I took a rain check on that."

Buffy just shook her head, knowing it was pointless to fight him. In the short time she’d known Spike she’d at least gotten to know that he was extremely stubborn pretty much like herself, but not in this matter. She was actually kinda happy not to walk by her own home.

"All right", she replied, leaning back in the seat as Spike continued their drive towards his house.
__________
Okay, maybe walking was a stupid idea considering she wore a thin t-shirt and shorts and it was freakin’ cold outside. She hugged her arms around herself to keep the warmth in her body. Spike noticed her trembling and shaking and stopped to take off his leather duster.

"Here." He slowly put it around her shoulders and gave her a soft smile. "Can’t have you catching a cold."

"Thank you", Buffy said, unconsciously smelling the coat. It smelled like leather, cigarettes and something uniquely like Spike. "William", she added with a grin and he shot her a warning sight while they made their way through town, passing the alley of a bar towards Buffy’s place.

"If you ever use that name again I swear you won’t live long," he replied, trying to keep the danger in his voice but failed miserably when he saw her whole face lit up in a beautiful smile that made his stomach do little flip flops. God dammit, she had his stomach do flip flops! Him, Spike!

"Why do you hate it so much? I like it. It’s cute."

"It’s bloody well not cute, luv."

"I’ll let you know that you’re totally oblivious to how you and cute matches", Buffy informed him and felt her cheeks heat up when she saw his genuine smile as he shook his head in denial.

"You’re a screwed up little – " His words were cut off as a couple stumbled out of the bar, frantically kissing as the man pushed the woman against the wall, pulling at each others clothes.

"- bint…"

When the woman heard the words spoken from Spike she tore away from the man and pushed him away enough to let her see the blonde duo standing in front of them as the light from a streetlamp illuminated the woman. Suddenly her whole face lit up into a grin as she kept holding on to the man, stroking his arm.

Wait, she looks familiar, who is…

"Drusilla," Spike mumbled.

"My Spike, the pixies told me we’d meet tonight," she told him with a slurry voice. "Not here though. Oh, you haven’t met my friend Lindsey."

Buffy watched from her place beside Spike as the man turned around and gave her a wicked grin that made Buffy cringe. The alcohol seemed to fill the air and it was sure making her nervous. Full of her thoughts, she didn’t notice that Lindsey made an attempt to step towards Buffy.

"This is sunshine?" He asked as he reached his hand out to her. "She sure looks more like an innocent little-"

Spike acted quickly. He grabbed Buffy’s arm, pulled her back a few step so that she was standing behind him. With powerful steps he faced Lindsey who actually had a little scared look behind that drunken face.

"Stay the bloody hell away from her," turning to Dru, he added, "that goes for the both of you. C’mon Buffy, let’s get you home."

Once again he took a hold on Buffy’s arm and pulled her away from the alley with no resistance, she was pretty glad that she didn’t had to stay around the couple.

When Spike didn’t say anything, Buffy began to worry. With a frown she turned to him and he let go of her arm.

"Are you all right?" She asked softly and finally he faced her, smiling at her, though not a genuine smile. He seemed to be full in his thoughts.

"Yeah, I’m fine"; he said. "I’m okay."

And he was surprised that it was true – he had felt no jealousy towards Drusilla, not the slightest. The only thing he felt was worry for Buffy who might had been in danger when Lindsey had met Buffy.

He actually was okay.

Chapter 13 - Competition

“All right, kids. Listen up!” Spike yelled, ignoring the scoffing teenagers who refused to be called kids. “In about ten minutes you’re gonna be out there, yeah? And remember, if the wave is too big – don’t hesitate to pull out, no one will see that as a weakness. Now I know that you all behave really good so I assume that I don’t need to warm you to not get into any fights out there, okay? Don’t mock with anyone even if they’re mocking with you.”

A few of the older guys rolled their eyes and Spike sent them a deathly glare. “Do it or do not do it. As soon as you stand up and takes your hands off the rail, you’re ride has begun. If you hesitate just before the wave, you’re just losing points. An incomplete move will not be scored, and you only have 10 waves to show the judges that you are the best. Now, you will compete three at a time. And don’t steal other participators’ waves, I don’t want any snaking. The heats are 20 minutes long and – “

“No offence, coach,” one of the soon to be competing boys said, sighing. “But you told us all of this already and we know. You don’t need to go through it again.”

A girl who was standing beside him nodded in agreement and Spike just shook his head and with a sigh he mumbled to himself. “Well, you never learn…”

“Hey!” A guy, who just had been sitting slightly bored in the sand said, looking offended.

“Yeah, right, guys,” Spike said, running a hand through his hair and then placing them at his hips. “I know you’re excited about this but I do know that you’re nervous too. Seriously, I wouldn’t let you compete if you weren’t. That would just be weird. And even if you act like you’re not right now; you will be once you’re paddling out in the water but don’t lose your head out there cus if you do, you know you’ll bloody well loose. All right? You’ve got ten waves and don’t paddle around and try to take every single one of them at the same time, it’s better to wait for the right one. And as you see,” Spike continued, gesturing towards the sea, “the weather is perfect, well perfect for surfing at least,” he added with a shrug. “Anyway, I know you’ll do great. You’re all really good at what you’re doing. If you don’t win the heat – it’s fine. The world doesn’t end just because of that. You’re young and you will have lots of other chances. So… What do you say about getting out there?”

Buffy watched Spike pepping his team from distance, leaning on a big rock. She didn’t want to disturb them during such an important time. She observed how they stood up, slowly singing some cheering songs and walking towards the beach where the competition would be hold.

Buffy straightened up and started to walk in the opposite direction, towards Spike who was still standing where he had held his pep talk just a minute earlier.

Spike turned around at the sound of someone walking in the sand and smiled as he gazed at Buffy. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Buffy said and returned the smile as she stopped in front of him, hands clasped in front of her. “How’s it going?”

“Fine, had to calm them down a bit though. Some of them are too sure they’ll win all this without even lifting a muscle and others are completely the opposite. They’re nervous all of them.”

Buffy tilted her head with a grin. “They… Or are you the one who’s nervous?”

Spike scoffed and frowned at her. “No!” He said, unconvincing and let out a sigh in defeat. “Fine, I’m nervous as hell. Happy?”

“Very,” Buffy replied, walking up to him and giving him a friendly hug. “I think they’ll do great, no wait, I know they’ll do great. They have you as a coach. Did you forget that?”

Spike couldn’t help but feeling slightly hot in her embrace and he swallowed hard so he wouldn’t scare her away. Instead he gave her a bright smile back. “Thanks.”

“Ahm,” a voice behind him suddenly said, causing the couple to jump away from each other in an instant. Behind Spike stood Connor with his board safely tucked under his arm.

“Connor, you missed the pep talk,” Spike said.

“I’m sorry,” Connor replied, looking everywhere but at Spike. “I overslept.”

“No problem. You ready for this then?” Spike asked, patting him on the shoulder only to see Connor’s face turning completely blank. “What’s wrong?”

Connor glanced down at the ground to hide from Spike’s confused frown. “I-I’m nervous,” he replied.

Spike let out a relieved breath and shrugged. “That’s only natural, like I said to the others – I wouldn’t let you compete if you weren’t.”

Connor shook his head. “It’s not that, it’s…” Slowly he raised his head to meet Spike’s eyes. “I don’t think I can do it, but I can’t just let it be. My friends would think I’m a total geek.”

“Why would – “

“Connor,” Buffy began as she moved to stand beside Spike. “You shouldn’t do this if you don’t want to. No one’s gonna get disappointed in you if you back off.”

He shook his head and glanced past them to the competing area, suddenly a little more determined. “I want to. I will.” And with that, he left the duo watching after him as he walked towards the competing area.

“Connor?” Spike called out. “Connor!” He was just about to walk after him when Buffy grabbed his arm and stopped him from moving further. A worried frown graced Spike’s features which didn’t go unnoticed by Buffy.

“It’ll be okay, Spike,” she assured him. “It’s just nerves, everyone’s nervous right now. Even I.”

Spike let out a sigh in defeat as he glanced away from Buffy, towards Connor’s slumping back. “I hope you’re right.”

---

“And with that, Connor Reynolds is out of the competition. Ouch, that gotta hurt,” the speaker informed the audience and Spike gave out a sigh and rested his head in his hands while Buffy bit her lip. This was not good.

Connor had kept himself calm till he was out in the water. He missed the first wave and fell even before the second when he paddled sideways and got hit by the wave. He seemed to forget the basic stuff the moment he stood up. Spike couldn’t help but blame himself for this, he shouldn’t had let Connor compete. Even though Ryan was one of his students from the team, he couldn’t concentrate on feeling happy for him. The crestfallen and blank expression on Connor’s face worried him too much.

“Donald Brian and Ryan Baylor move on to the final. We move to the next heat with Sarah McDonald and Susan Thornton…”

“I should go and check how he’s doing,” Spike shouted to Buffy, trying to not let his voice get drown by the people in the audience who cheered when the next couple got out in the water.

“Spike, don’t you think you should let him get himself together before you go there?” Buffy asked and Spike stopped, half standing and thinking it over. She was probably right. If he were Connor, he wouldn’t want anyone there to witness his breakdown.

Sitting down again as in defeat on the bench he let out a sigh. “I hope he isn’t too messed up.”

“He’ll deal,” Buffy assured him, putting one hand over his. “I don’t think the bruises from the missing waves will hurt the most though…”

“You’re probably right. I’ll make sure to talk to him later,” he said and relaxed in his seat. Just then, Buffy suddenly jumped up in the air in shock when she felt her cell vibrate against her leg.

“So much for the relaxation,” Spike mumbled with a slight grin and Buffy looked at him sheepishly as she picked up her cell from her jeans pocket.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just turn it – “ The words fell from her mouth when she glanced at the display to see who was calling. Cordelia Chase.

That’s weird. Cordy wouldn’t call if it wasn’t an emergency.

“-off… I think I have to take this.”

“You really can’t make up your mind today, can you?” Spike joked and Buffy gave him a half hearted smile, because honestly this was making her nervous. Spike noticed the anxious look that appeared on her normally so happy and carefree face. “What’s wrong?” He frowned.

“It’s my friend Cordelia, she wouldn’t call if it wasn’t something important. Is it okay if I take this?”

“’course, Buffy,” he replied and watched her step away a few meters to take the call. She picked it up and pressed the button.

“Cordy?”

“Buffy, thank god you answered!” Cordelia screamed at the other end of the phone so high that Buffy had to make some distance between her ear and the phone.

“Gee, thanks for the tinnitus, Cordy,” Buffy said sarcastically.

“Buffy, I’m so sorry, I had no idea!” She continued and Buffy’s heart sank. Something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong? Oh, god, is it my mom?” Buffy stammered, feeling the panic start to well up in her chest. “What happened to her?”

“Shit, Buffy, I’m so sorry!”

Buffy shook her head at Cordelia’s rambling nonsense and put a hand up in the air while she raised her voice to make her friend listen to her and earning a few glanced from the people around her at the same time, including Spike who had a frown written on his face. “Cordelia, will you quit that and tell me what the hell is going on?”

But Cordy didn’t seem to notice that Buffy started to become pretty irritated with her. “Arg, why am I so stupid? He just came…”

“Who? Doyle?” Buffy frowned. Did she and Doyle had a fight? Then why would she call Buffy and say ‘sorry’ for it?

“No not Doyle!” Cordelia exclaimed with a frustrated growl that quickly took up the previous panic. “He just told me it was okay,” she continued. “He’s a lying fucking bastard and I believed him!”

Buffy was seriously freaking out right now. “Cordy, if you don’t tell me now I swear I’ll – “

“He told me he had talked to you and that your cell went dead before he got your number, Buffy.”

Buffy frowned. “What? No one has called me except you and – “ Buffy trailed off running a hand through her hair. “Shit.”

“He said you were back together,” Cordelia continued, the regret filling her voice to the hilt. “I told him were you were and gave him your number, Buffy! God, I’m so sorry… It was - ”

Buffy closed her eyes in denial and cut her off with an annoyed tone. “Angel.”

“Glad to see you too, Buff.”

A/N: How Angel got there while Cordy still was one the phone with Buffy will be explained in later chapters, just so you know :)

Chapter 14 - No Angel

“Glad to see you too, Buff.”

Spike turned to look at Buffy when he heard her name being called by a man he didn’t recognize. He frowned, confused. Who was he? She didn’t know that many people here, from what he knew of. On instinct, he stood up to go and see who the man was but then he stopped. He had no right to burst in like that, he wasn’t her boyfriend. So he sat down but didn’t take his eyes off of Buffy.

“I’ll have to call you back Cordy,” Buffy told her friend, still not taking her eyes off of Angel who was standing a few feet away from her with a goofy grin plastered his face. He looked so full of himself, when he tilted his head and gave her a smile.

“Missed me, sweetie?”

Buffy cringed at the tone in his voice and glared at him. “What are you doing here, Angel?”

The first thing that brought Spike’s attention was her voice – she did not sound happy. It was more like ‘I’m-gonna-kill-you-if-you-don’t-leave-in-three-seconds,’ that kind of a voice. The second thing was that name. Angel. He knew he’d heard it before. Suddenly, realization hit him.

He’s her ex. That ponce I yelled at in the phone.

Without thinking, he stood up and with determined and powerful steps he walked over to Buffy. Slowly he put a hand on her shoulder. “Everything okay here?” He asked, first looking into Buffy’s eyes, then turning cold when he looked at Angel.

“So, this is the peroxide wonder,” Angel stated, apparently amused. “I actually thought you were a threat but now… Well, to take the shortest version; no. You’re not.”

Buffy felt Spike’s hand on her shoulder tightening as Angel continued to look at him. “Angel, why are you here?” Buffy said before Spike had a chance to say something more.

“Well, isn’t that obvious, babe?” Angel said, shaking his head at her stupidity. “I came for you of course.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows. “Because…?”

“I wanna make things right again, Buff,” he told her, suddenly putting on a miserable pouting face. “I miss you.”

Buffy scoffed. “Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you started to hang around all those girls. We’re over Angel; I thought I made it clear.”

“I told you I was gonna call on Monday. You weren’t home.”

“And I said that we were over!” Buffy exclaimed, feeling Spike’s hand sliding off shoulder but he still didn’t move an inch away from her. “But obviously you didn’t understand that. What I can’t understand though is why you tricked Cordy into believing that we were back together.”

“You wouldn’t talk to me, of course,” Angel answered, shrugging. “It was the only way.” Then his face lit up into a smirk, not that kind of a smirk that Spike had though, Buffy marked. Spike’s smirks could be evil, yes, but in a… sexy kind of way. Angel’s smirks were making her want to smack him over the head. “She’s pretty easy your friend… In many ways…”

“Shut up,” Buffy growled.

“I think you should get the hell away from here now,” Spike said, and suddenly he remembered. Angel thought they were together. Making a quick decision he slid his arm around Buffy’s waist. Buffy tensed up for a second, and sent him a questioning frown.

Keeping his eyes on Buffy he slowly said, “I thought you knew Buffy had moved on.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she remembered the conversation between Angel and Spike over the phone and she turned her gaze back at Angel who looked anything but understanding. Instead, he just shook his head and got that voice he always used on his clients.

“Buffy, Buffy… What do you think your father would say about that?”

“My-“

“There you are, Angel,” a voice behind Angel suddenly said. Buffy glanced over his’s shoulder, who just kept his eyes at the couple in front of him with a smirk. Confusion written all over her face, pretty much like Spike’s, she recognized the voice and gaped. It couldn’t be… “I thought we were going to meet at that rotten café up there but – oh. Hello, Buffy.”

“Dad,” Buffy greeted, her mouth forming a thin line. “W-what are you doing here?”

Spike raised his eyebrows when he realized that the man with the business-like clothes who was standing beside peaches was none other than Buffy’s father. A fool could’ve seen that though, since they had the same eyes and nose. He instantly felt a hate towards the older man, even though he was so much like his daughter.

“Paying you a visit, obviously,” he replied. “Angel here asked me to come with him and talk to you.”

Buffy’s face turned into a mocking glare, directed at Angel. “Too scared to come here by yourself, were ya?”

“Buffy, behave,” he said, shooting her a fierce look. “You’re not very polite now, are you?” His gaze fell at Spike before he turned his attention back to Buffy with a knowing sight. “Introduce us, maybe?”

“Sure, dad,” Buffy replied, sarcasm filling her voice. “Dad, meet William Giles or Spike. Spike, this is my father Hank Summers I told you about.”

Spike stuck out his hand towards the man trying to be nice and not think about how he’d treated Buffy. Better to give him a good impression than a death glare… “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Summers.”

“William,” Hank replied, eyeing the young man. The tight grip around his daughters’ waist didn’t go unnoticed. “Now, if you excuse us, we would like a talk with Buffy in privacy. Do you mind?”

Spike turned the question to Buffy, not really tempted to leave her alone. “I don’t think we have anything to hide from Spike,” she challenged.

“Buffy, this is something personal so I don’t think Angel would appreciate to –”

“That’s why he brought you, dad?” Buffy replied ironically, tilting her head. She then saw the determined expression on her dad’s face and knew he wasn’t going to give up. Normally she would’ve fought it and she would’ve made sure that Spike would come with her but she really didn’t want the two of them here. To be honest, Buffy couldn’t wait for them to leave and she knew that they would be leaving a lot faster if she didn’t argue. Sighing she turned to Spike.

“It’s okay. You go and talk to Connor.” Spike didn’t look convinced.

“I don’t think I should leave…” He mumbled, slowly.

“I’m afraid that’s not your choice, Willy boy,” Angel interrupted.

“Didn’t ask for your opinion, mate,” Spike snapped back. He turned back to Buffy. “I could stay here though. I won’t be far away.”

“Okay,” Buffy smiled, feeling her heart flutter at the thought of him being so protective over her. He really did care. “You stay here and we,” she continued, turning back to her dad and ex, pointing at a less crowded area near the way down to the competing area, “go over there.”

---

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Buffy said when they reached the parking lot with a sigh as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“I think that Angel has something he would like to ask you,” Hank grinned, looking at Angel who went past Buffy’s dad and stopped only a few inches from Buffy. She wanted to back away, to show him that she really didn’t want to stand here with him but even though the idea was tempting she didn’t move. Better get this over with.

“Buffy,” Angel began. “I know we’ve had our ups and downs, things haven’t always been easy between us but that just proves how much we do care for each other.” Before Buffy had a chance to insist he continued. “The few days I was without you, Buffy, felt like the end of the world and I realized… that I couldn’t live without you. I love you and that’s why I wanted to ask you,” Angel mumbled as he fumbled with something in his pocket as he went down on one knee. “to be my wife.”

Buffy eyes went wide. He was seriously thinking she’d want to marry him after all he’d done? He’s crazy! He lied to my friends, treated me like shit… and now he assumes that I’ll just say ‘oh, yes, I want to marry you’? She scoffed.

“You’re joking.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement and Buffy felt her dad’s eyes at her and Angel’s confused look.

“Elizabeth!” Hank exclaimed. Buffy turned her eyes to Angel, silently asking him if this was some sick joke of his, but she only got a shocked frown back and she realized he was serious. Buffy’s eyes landed on Spike who was sitting at the benches again, but his gaze was fixated at the trio and Buffy was almost glad she couldn’t see his expression.

“Angel, you think I would want to marry you, don’t you? For God’s sake, think about it! We’ve never been the perfect couple, you’ve almost cheated on me and you lied to my friends in attempt to travel over the world to ask me this. No, Angel. I’ve said it before and I say it again – we are not together. I broke up with you, which I should’ve done a long time ago. You can’t just come here, give me that ring, and expect that everything will be all right again!” She cried out, her hands flying in the air.

“So Captain Peroxide is better than me?” Angel mumbled in disbelief. “Please, you can honestly say that the bleached freak makes you happy?”

“It’s not about who’s better here,” Buffy said. “And yes, he does make me happy but –”

“You’re seeing… him?” Hank questioned, emphasizing on ‘him’.

Buffy sighed, quickly thinking of lying to make them believe she was seeing Spike or tell them the truth. She thought that Angel would probably not leave it if Buffy didn’t make it clear to him that she wanted nothing to do with him. If she told them she was seeing Spike he could think that he was just a fling for the moment – that she’d come back to him when she got tired of Spike. So, Buffy shook her head.

“No. He’s a friend.”

Angel raised his eyebrows and looked up at Buffy from his position at the ground which he hadn’t left. “Friend? You’re doing what he said you were doing with your friends?”

Buffy felt her cheeks heat up and threw a quick glance at her father who had an ‘I-didn’t-hear-what-you-just-said’-look. Buffy decided to drop the subject. “Angel, I’m sorry if you thought that this was going to fix everything – but it won’t. You lied to my friends and you brought my dad here just because –“

“Well, I wanted his blessing which I got,” Angel replied, standing up.

“It doesn’t matter, I do not want to marry you. Now, I think you should leave, both of you,” Buffy told them and started to walk past Angel when she felt herself being pulled back.

“We need to talk about this, us,” Angel mumbled.

“I don’t need to be here for that, I only took some time off to inform you, Buffy, that you had my blessing which you obviously care nothing about. I’ll be right here,” Hank mumbled and walked away from the former couple. Angel turned his eyes back to Buffy.

“We have nothing to talk about,” Buffy replied, fire in her eyes when she for the second time started to walk away from Angel, only this time when he grabbed her he didn’t let go.

“Don’t I have something to say about it?” Angel said with anger filling his voice as he swirled around to face her. “We are going to talk, Buffy, or I swear I’ll – “

He didn’t have a chance to finish the sentence before he got a fist in his face that made him fly into the sand. Buffy took a step back in shock and looked up to see Spike standing there, glaring at Angel with his jaw firmly clenched.

“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed but he didn’t acknowledge her as he hovered over Angel, growling;

“Get the hell away from her.” With that, he threw another punch in his face that made Angel groan in pain. Buffy was too shocked to move, paralyzed she just stood there, gaping.

Suddenly Angel got to his feet, wiping away the blood that had escaped from his nose with a maniacally laughter. “Boy, you’re really screwed, aren’t you? Too bad she doesn’t feel the same for you,” he mocked and out of nowhere he threw a punch at Spike that made his head fly back.

Hank, who had been standing a few feet away, heard the noises and turned around to see the two men in a wild fight with Buffy on the side, her hands stunned, covering her mouth. In a few seconds he was over there.

“Hey! Hey!” He yelled trying to get a hold of Angel’s arm but failing as he launched forward at Spike, kicking him in the stomach that sent him sprawling into the sand.

“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed, waking up from her trance and rushing towards Spike, who once again was on his legs, blood sipping from his mouth. “Stop it, both of you!”

But neither man paid any attention to the girl as Spike sent his fist into Angel’s jaw. Not knowing what else to do, Buffy made a quick decision and placed herself between the two men. Angel just groaned at the pain in his jaw and pushed Buffy out of the way into the sand.

“Buffy!” Spike called out, only getting a punch from Angel. “I warmed you to stay away from her,” Spike growled.

“Didn’t ask to be warned,” Angel simply replied. “I wanted a talk with my girlfriend which you very much destroyed.”

Punch. Spike clenched his jaw, trying to make the pain go away. “She didn’t want to be here, you didn’t let her leave.”

“Girl needs discipline,” Angel shrugged.

“Why you little – “ Spike was just gonna put his fist into the wanker’s face once again when a voice behind him made him stop dead in his track.

“Spike! Spike, we need your help!”

It was Lily. Buffy started to get up from the sand and clumsily stood up with a little help from her dad. “Lily,” Buffy said, a mere whisper.

“Spike, please. It’s Connor.”

Spike frowned at the girl. “Connor?” He repeated.

“His friends were mocking him and he got enough of it. He wants to prove he can surf to them!” Lily shouted her breathing fast. “Connor is out at the Boneyard!”

Spike swallowed. Shit.

Please read the Author's Note in the beginning

Chapter 15 - Running

Buffy felt like everything went in slow motion. One second Angel and Spike were in the middle of a big fighting party and the next Lily was standing there – saying Connor had gone out on the Boneyard. It took a few seconds for her to remember the name and then suddenly – she remembered what Tara had told her, her first night in Cornwall.

“He actually has surfed out on the so called Bone Yard.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s stupid. I don’t know why they go there, they’re just putting themselves in danger. You see, it’s great reefs out there. Dangerous if you miss a wave, but it’s also the biggest waves. He’s been out there a few times and for what I know, he’s the only one that really dared to. Everyone else stay close to the beach.”

“Oh my god,” Buffy whispered as she saw Spike move towards his car which was sitting in the parking lot. Buffy acted quickly and followed him with Lily soon after her.

“And where are you going, huh?” Angel yelled after them but Buffy just threw him a glare and got in the car beside Spike. Angel sighed and turned to Hank. “Come on, let's go after them.”

---

Spike stopped the car when he saw the big mass of people at the end of the cliff and exchanged a knowing look with Buffy before getting out of the car.

A boy Buffy remembered was called Ryan turned around and a sigh of relief washed over his face when he saw Spike approach. “Coach! I have no idea what he’s doing out there, I –“

Spike went past the boy and glanced out over the water and swallowed when he saw the big waves. It was a good surfing day indeed but not out there. On the Bone yard it was dangerous. If he got to far out he wouldn’t have a chance to survive if a wave hit him.

“Did anyone see when he left?” Spike asked the crowd, still trying to catch a glimpse of Connor’s figure. He started to feel really worried… If he didn’t see him, could that mean that he had –

“He got upset, I think,” Brian said, who stood beside Ryan with a look of regret over his features. “It’s… We’ve been too hard on him.”

“We’ll talk about that later,” Spike mumbled, “right now our only goal is to find – “

“There!” Lily suddenly screamed and pointed towards the ocean were a small figure made himself known. “Connor!” But her cries were drowned by the thunder of the waves smashing against the cliffs.

“How far is it till we can get down there?” Buffy asked Spike who had kept his eyes on Connor the whole time. He was getting further and further out, soon he’d be swallowed by the crashing waves if he couldn’t get him to turn around.

“Too far away,” Spike mumbled and turned around and ran towards the back of the car and opening the trunk. Buffy raised an eyebrow as she went after him.

“W-what are you doing? We should get going Spike if we’re gonna reach him in time!”

“We won’t,” Spike answered and earned a shocked look from Buffy.

“What?” She hissed. “You’re saying that you’re abandoning him out there?” When he didn’t answer the anger seemed to grow and she threw her arms up in frustration. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Spike?”

“Leave it, Buffy,” Angel said who had just jumped out of his car with Hank following him. “Let the bleached wonder play his own game.”

Buffy whipped around and faced Angel, mouth tight with anger. “Shut. Up. And get the hell out of here before I’ll make sure you’ll never be able to use your precious parts again,” she threatened, growling. That seemed to shock Angel because he became speechless. Buffy took the opportunity to once again face Spike.

“You can’t just leave him out there! He’s just a boy, he’s…“ Buffy trailed off and glanced at Spike’s new outfit with a deep frown. “W-wait… what are you doing?”

Spike closed the trunk and turned to face Buffy. “We won’t get there in time. If I dive right now, I will,” he said, nodding towards the cliff and walking past Buffy in his surfing suit. Buffy opened and closed her mouth like a fish uncountable times as Spike gestured towards Ryan to borrow him his board.

Then everything became clear and Buffy rushed towards Spike. “You can’t do that, Spike!” She exclaimed, glancing at the high cliff. “It’s too dangerous; you’ll be hit by the reeves! I know I said you have to save him but you won’t be able to do that if you die!”

Spike threw down the board into the water before turning back to Buffy. “I won’t,” he replied. He was just about to jump when Buffy grabbed his arm and made him turn around to face her. “Spike,” she whispered, letting the worry take over her voice. Spike sighed and let his hand cup her cheek and softly said; “I promise, Buffy.”

She leant into the touch a few seconds before he slowly pulled away, giving her a sad smile and jumped. Buffy’s heart raced as he stood by the end of the cliff and watched him disappear under the water. Oh, God, let him be okay.

Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who was worried. Lily sniffled to the left of her and a few of Spike students mumbled stuff to each other with worry gracing their features. She didn’t know how long it took, mere seconds or minutes… It felt more like hours before she finally saw his form start to swim towards the board and she let relief wash over her as she let out a sigh.

Spike had started to paddle out in the sea now and Buffy made a quick decision. Grabbing Lily by the arm she dragged her towards Spike’s car and set her down in the front seat while she took the driver’s one and swallowed as she turned on the engine. She did have a license, only… She wasn’t very good at driving…

“Okay, were is the closest beach we can drive to, Lily?” Buffy asked her as they started to drive. In the mirror she could see Angel talk to her father and also getting into their car, driving after them. She shook her head and decided to ignore them. “The closest beach were we can see them?”

“I think I know one,” Lily said. “C’mon, drive faster!”

And she did. Soon, they parked the car at the side of the road and ran down the narrow precipice towards the beach. Shortly after they reached the beach they were able to see Spike, getting closer to the waves.

“Oh, my god,” Lily whispered and Buffy gulped when she saw what Lily had her eyes attached to. Connor. Connor and a big freakin’ wave. There was no way Spike would get there in time and it seemed like Spike had realized that too. He stopped to let a wave pass and then started to paddle again only to watch Connor getting on one of the waves.

Buffy held her breath. Everything appeared to go so slow… Connor standing up, letting go of the rail, slowly riding over the wave… For a long time it seemed like he was going to make it, he held his position but just when Buffy started to relax she saw how he began to lose balance and slowly, oh so slowly, falling off the board and disappearing into the deep ocean. Buffy let out a gasp and covered her mouth with her hands in shock.

Lily threw her hands around Buffy and hid her face in her shirt. Buffy didn’t even hear her name being called by Angel and Hank from behind. Neither did she hear a few other people approaching them. Her eyes were wide and not leaving the spot were Connor had fallen.

“I-Is he alright?” Ryan asked who came up beside Buffy, glancing out over the water but Buffy didn’t answer. Her eyes fell on Spike with a confused frown. Her eyes went between Spike and were Connor had fallen only to realize that Spike was making distance from him. “What is he doing?”

The confusion turned to anger. What was he thinking? He couldn’t possibly just assume that Connor… “What the hell is he doing?” Buffy hissed, causing Lily to tear her face towards the sea. “He can’t just skip it!”

“Buffy…” Lily started but Buffy wasn’t really paying attention to her.

“Spike, I swear,” she continued, “if you do not turn around right now I’ll –”

“Buffy!” Lily yelled, finally getting her attention. Ryan pointed towards Spike.

“Look. He’s catching the wave to get over there,” he told her, then a smile tugged at his lips. “Smart stroke.”

And as Ryan had said, Spike soon stood up and balanced on the enormous wave. Buffy realized that she had actually never seen Spike surf before, but that he was that good as everyone had said. He held his balance, making sure he knew were he was going and suddenly – he jumped off the board, diving into the water, being totally swallowed by the ocean.

Buffy felt like her heart had stopped beating. The wave’s power ceased, only to be replaced by another one. Seconds turned to minutes and still no sign of Connor or Spike. Spike’s board was easily floating in the water and Buffy found herself staring at it, hypnotized, until the water around it suddenly splashed and not from a wave… It was -.

“Spike!” Lily screamed, jumping and clasping her hands together in clear happiness.

In his arms he had Connor who seemed unconscious by the way he was hanging in Spike’s arm. He helped Connor up on the board and made sure his face wasn’t under the water then he jumped onto the board and started to paddle towards the beach were the “audience” were standing.

Buffy let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and let her shoulders slump in relief as a smile lit up on her face. They were okay.

Slowly they came closer to the beach and Buffy found herself throwing off her shoes, being ready to meet them in the water. When they finally came within a reach for Buffy she saw that Connor seemed to have woken up and gradually started to stand up. Spike threw the board towards the beach and grabbed Connor by the shoulders.

“What the hell were you thinking, Connor?” He yelled with anger and worry filling his voice as he shook him slightly. Connor gulped. “Why did you go out there? You nearly got yourself bloody killed!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Connor stuttered, glancing away from Spike’s face and for the first time Buffy got a real look at his face. His nose was covered in blood and he had a big gash on his forehead. “I just wanted you to see I wasn’t a bad surfer but…” He trailed off, swallowing the lump in his throat as he finally made eye contact with Spike a tear trailing down his cheek. “I screwed up.”

Spike’s angry face crumbled and he dragged Connor into his arms and embraced him hard, making the waist-high water around them splash. Connor’s shoulder shook as he sobbed into his chest. “It’s all right now, it’s all right…”

A sad expression crossed Buffy’s face as she watched the scene played in front of her. After a few moments, Spike carefully made some distance between him and Connor looking him in the face and mumbling something Buffy couldn’t hear. Connor nodded and started to walk towards the beach were Buffy caught him in a tight hug. “Are you okay?” She asked and he nodded, giving her a small smile.

“I’m okay”, he replied, moving towards his mother who came running along the beach apparently hysterical and hugging him. Buffy turned her attention back to Spike and her eyes widened when he saw his wounded face and limp. Without thinking that she’d get wet, she ran into the water and caught him.

“Spike!” Buffy cried out. “Oh my god, you’re really hurt…”

Spike winced as she slowly darted out a hand to touch the nasty cut running along his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and bit her lip as she saw his other wounds. His lip was broken and he had a cut right over his right eyebrow she guessed would be a scar later on. Buffy swallowed back the tears and brought an arm around him to help him up.

“I can walk, Buffy,” he grinned, only to once again wince in pain as the cut on his lip hurt. But honestly, he was happy Buffy had caught him when she did because he felt his knees start to get really jelly like. When they got out of the water Spike mumbled; “Buffy, I think I have to sit down.”

“O-of course,” she murmured and tried to keep him from falling right down in the sand without much luck. She ended up hovering over him once his back rested on a stone behind him and she felt her cheeks start to burn as she quickly moved and sat on her knees in front of him, holding his hands. “You’re really brave,” she smiled sadly, a single tear escaping from her eye. Spike frowned and brought his hand up to her cheek like he had done minutes earlier, wiping away the tear.

“Don’t cry,” he spoke with a soft voice, giving her a weak smile. “I’m not worth it.”

“You could’ve died,” Buffy replied tremulous.

“Well, I didn’t,” he joked only to get a glare from Buffy. “Okay, not funny. Why are you crying, luv?”

Buffy choked back a sob. “Because all of this is my fault,” she sniffled and Spike frowned at her.

“How is this your fault?”

“You didn’t want Connor to compete, I persuaded you to let him. After the competition… You wanted to go to him and once again I told you not to. God, Spike, it’s my fault you’re limping and Connor’s bleeding. It’s all my fault.”

A sob escaped from her and Spike gathered her up in his arms. “No, don’t blame yourself, Buffy. This isn’t your fault! If it is fault anyone’s, it’s mine. Don’t blame yourself for something you didn’t do.”

“But, it’s true,” Buffy mumbled. “I kept you from going after Connor, I –“

“I could’ve gone after him at anytime, Buffy. It was my call, not your.”

Suddenly, they heard someone clear his throat behind them and Buffy turned to meet her father who had a surprisingly… weird expression on his face.

“Buffy, I just wanted to let you know that we are leaving now, Liam and I.”

Angel let out a shocked yell. “What? We are most definitely not! Buffy hasn’t answered my question yet.”

“If I want to marry you? Well, you figure it out yourself, Angel. Since I said no more than one time I think that means no,” she replied, calmly. “I’m sorry, Angel. But we have no future together.”

Angel scoffed. “Like he hell we do. Hank?”

“Go to the car, Liam,” Hank said, keeping his eyes at the couple in front of him.

“No, I –”

“Go. To. The. Car. Now,” he said once again, a bit more sharply this time and Angel slumped his shoulders in defeat. He threw one last glare at Buffy and then turned around and walked away.

“How come you asked him to go?” Buffy wondered and Hank shrugged.

“I realized something. I thought you and Angel O’Neill would’ve made the perfect couple, but,” he added when he saw Buffy open her mouth to insist. “I realize now, that you are not. You don’t love Angel even if he may love you in his own way.”

Buffy was in deep shock at his words. In so many years her dad had always been on Angel’s side, and even before that he had always chose to ignore Buffy’s opinion or not cared at all. This was a whole new side of Hank Summers. He glanced from Spike to Buffy and smiled.

“That”, he said, gesturing towards them. “That is real love.”

Spike didn’t dare to look at Buffy, to see her face, her disapproving face. He waited for her to tell her dad ‘no’ but much to his surprise, she didn’t insist. She just smiled at him.

Chapter 16.

“Come on, I’ll help you sit down on the couch,” Buffy encouraged Spike as she opened the door to his apartment, still with Buffy’s arm wrapped around his waist for support which Spike still refused that he needed.

“I can walk, Buffy,” Spike said, and grinned at the stubborn glare he got from Buffy.

“You’re just like your father,” Buffy mumbled under her breath.

“Hey!” Spike refused, his eyebrows furrowed together and Buffy gave him a meaning look.

“You are. I mean, when I helped Giles home that day he said the exact same thing, only, he gave up much easier than you.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m much more stubborn than him so deal with it or let me walk by myself.”

Buffy sighed as they reached the living room. “Spike, you weren’t able to stand on your legs at the beach. Just shut up and sit down.”

Spike smiled only to feel the cut on his lip hurt and he flinched. “Your wish is my command.” He let out a deep sigh when he landed on the couch, leaning against the back of it. “But I do have to say it was really nice to sit down again.”

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and jutted out her chin with a superior smirk. “Told you. Now, where do you keep the first aid kit?”

Spike started to protest. “There’s no need to – “

“First aid kit, Spike!” She growled, giving him a serious look while tapping her foot against the wooden floor and Spike shook his head.

“ – or when you put it that way, sure, go get ‘em. They’re in the bathroom locker.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Buffy grinned and gave him a flirty wink before disappearing out from the room, leaving Spike to his own thoughts. He scoffed in amusement and relaxed in the couch with his eyes closed. Come to think of it, he was pretty happy Buffy had followed him. Sure, he had his car and he could drive even though his leg hurt like hell, but just knowing that Buffy cared that much that she didn’t want to leave him made him warm.

His thoughts wandered back to a few minutes earlier at the beach and the words Hank Summers had said.

That is real love.

He remembered the panic that spread through him when her father had said it, afraid that she would freak out. But she hadn’t. She had smiled. The picture of her beautiful face lighting up into an angel’s smile made him smile and ignore the pain in his lip. She hadn’t said no. Okay, sure, that didn’t mean that she loved him, of course she didn’t. That was too early, they had only known each other for a week. Though, Spike could admit that he felt something for her. What that was, he didn’t know yet but he hoped he would find out soon enough. All he knew was that he hadn’t felt like this since Drusilla, not even with all those girls that he had met after their tragic end.

Of course, none of them had really meant something, he realized. They had been there, and he wanted to hurt Drusilla as much as she had hurt him.

“Although, that didn’t work, did it, mate?” He mumbled to himself.

Drusilla obviously felt nothing for him, the few times they had met she had only laughed at his sad attempts to make her jealous. He only earned a reputation of being the town’s man slut.

Spike remembered the day he had gone into the new pub, Wicca, nearly one year ago with only one thought in mind - getting seriously pissed. Tara had been the one to serve him and she noticed something was off, even though she didn’t knew him. He wasn’t all that happy that she tried to get him to talk at first, but she’s good, Tara. He ended up spending the whole day at the pub and also meeting Willow. They offered him a job which he took. Both of them were good friends of his and through them Spike got to know his band mates too. The two women had only brought him good and they respected him for the one he was.

So did Buffy. She didn’t seem to care about his fucked up past. She was still there, wasn’t she?

Spike smiled and leant his head to the side to rest.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
“Medical supplies, where are you?” Buffy mumbled, moving and lifting things in the medical cabinet to find what she was looking for. That was not an easy task, she realized. “Come on, where is it? Ah!”

Buffy brought it out of the locker but her triumph smile disappeared as her cheeks turned red. “Not,” she mumbled and put the pack of condoms back in the locker. She traveled over the next shelf of things and finally found what she was looking for.

Carefully she climbed down from the toilet seat she had used to reach up to the cabinet and walked out of the bathroom. She entered the living room a few seconds later and stopped when she saw Spike apparently sleeping form, a smile formed on her lips.

His head was leaning on his shoulder, facing the wall. His chest slowly rose and fell in time with his breathing. He looked so cute, so vulnerable. Like a little boy. She carefully slid over the floor to sit down on the table in front of him, putting the medical supplies beside her.

Buffy still couldn’t believe what had happened in less than an hour today. Angel, her father, Spike and Connor… What surprised her the most was that her dad finally took her side, something she never had expected him to do. For all those years, he had done everything but support her. Sure, he had kept his part of the deal with child support but not more than that. He hadn’t even helped when Joyce became sick.

When she started dating Angel, Hank seemed to think she finally had made some progress in her life and yet, he always supported Angel in the end.

In the car on their way to Spike’s apartment he had called her, telling her that Angel and him was leaving in a few hours. He even apologized for their behavior, saying that he realized that Angel had gone too far. That he was glad she stood up to him.

That is real love, he had said and although that wasn’t the thing right now she knew she cared about Spike, more than she could have ever imagined she would. It wasn’t love, they had after all only known each other for such a short time but there was something there. Something she didn’t want to fight but neither to rush. It was supposed to develop in its own pace.

Deciding she should get started and fetch him up, she picked up the bottle of alcohol and poured it over a piece of cloth. Carefully, Buffy moved further out on the table to be able to reach him and warily touched his wounded eyebrow. He flinched and drew in a breath as he woke up.

“Sorry,” Buffy said, moving her hand a little to clean the other part of the cut. “But it has to be done, you know. You don’t want it to get infected.”

Spike nodded. “Did I doze off?”

“Yeah, but only for a few minutes,” Buffy replied, removing her hand to pure more alcohol on the piece of cloth. “It’s understandable, though,” she continued, making eye contact with him. “You’ve had a busy day.”

Spike snorted with a small smile on his lips. “Kind of.”

Buffy studied the wounds on his face and frowned. “You got all of those when you got into the water?”

Spike shrugged. “Most of them, yeah, but some from your ex too.”

She felt the guilt wash over her and she nodded, and glanced down to the floor. “I’m sorry about Angel. He’s… He’s special. But this time he went too far. You didn’t have to be the knight in shining armor, you know.”

“What if I wanted to?”

Buffy smiled at that. “I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. I just…” She let out a little sigh as she started to clean the cut on his lip. “I just don’t like to see you hurt because of me.”

“Better me than you.”

Buffy glared at him and tried to keep her serious face but failed miserably when Spike put on his best puppy dog pout. “Stop it, I’m serious.”

Spike straightened up wrapped his fingers around her hand, stopping her movements over his lip as he could feel her pulse increase. “It doesn’t matter, luv. I’m just glad that pillock is out of the picture because he seemed like a real creep. What did he want by the way? Except you back, of course,” he added, tilting his head. Buffy scoffed and shook her head in denial.

“He’s unbelievable. You know what he wanted? He wanted me to marry him.”

Spike raised his eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Buffy nodded. “Uhuh. I thought he was joking at first.”

“Okay, let me get this straight,” Spike said, pointing his figure at her. “You were seeing this pillock for almost a year…”

“Yeah…” Buffy answered, warily, wondering where he was going with this. “I was.”

“You broke up with him because you always saw him flirting with other women?”

“Yeah, but – “

“He didn’t… Allow you to break up with him and he seriously thought that you two were still together?”

Buffy nodded, confusion written all over her face.

“He lied to your friend, brought your dad into this to travel across the world to ask you to marry him when he knew you were in a relationship, or,” he stopped, shaking his head, “well, you weren’t but at least he thought so.”

“Uhuh, what are you getting at, Spike?” Buffy frowned.

“What the hell did you see in him?” Spike burst out, trying to keep the accusing tone in his voice when he saw Buffy’s face lit up in confusion.

“I – What? You don’t have any right to ask that,” Buffy gasped, bewildered by this subject. But, when she saw the small smirk tugging at his cheeks she realized he wasn’t really accusing her. She sighed and glanced at the roof, as if she was pondering what to tell him. “What did I see in him… Oh, I know!” She said, clapping her hands together. “He was so damn sexy when I first saw him. I was seriously drooling…”

“Pet…” Spike warned, giving her a bemused look. Buffy laughed.

“Kidding. But… Come to think of it I thought he was pretty hot.”

“I wasn’t joking!” Spike exclaimed and Buffy chuckled at his expression but then became serious. She let out a little sigh and rested her elbows against her knees before starting.

“Honestly, I don’t really know what I saw in him,” she said, before shrugging. “Well, except that I actually thought he was pretty good looking.”

If it was possible, Spike raised his eyebrows even more. “That wanker? You don’t know what you’re talking about, Goldilocks.”

Buffy smiled. “Maybe not. But I know who he is now, especially after what the little trick he pulled at the beach. I never thought he’d go as far as this. Though, I did make peace with my dad a little,” she smirked. “I still can’t believe he defended me like that after all those years.”

“Well, it was about time,” Spike said. “I’m glad you’re beginning to work things out. What did he say when he called?”

“That he was gonna contact me when he got back to L.A. he wanted to meet me when I got back. Which reminds me, I should probably call Cordelia before she goes stir crazy.”

Spike chuckled softly and leaned backwards. “You’re probably right. Use my phone if you like.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said, before standing up and glancing down at Spike. “Get some rest, I’ll be right back.”
______________

“Buffy Summers! Oh my friggin’ god! You scared the hell out of me!”

Buffy sighed as she once again had to make some distance between her ear and the phone. “Cordy, please calm down.”

“Oh, you ask me to calm down, huh?” Cordelia ranted and Buffy could practically see her pacing. “I’ve been freaking out here for the last hour! You just hung up when I heard Angel’s voice in the background.”

“Sorry, but I had to,” Buffy replied, sitting down at one of the chairs in the kitchen. “What did he do, Cordy?”

“I told you,” Cordelia said. “He came by a few days ago and asked for your number, convinced me that you two had made it up. He said your cell went dead before he got the number to your house. I didn’t believe him at first, but he seemed so… sure. So, desperate to get a hold of you. Well, I should’ve realized that you hadn’t.”

“We hadn’t. How did you find out by the way? We haven’t spoken on the phone for the past week.”

“I called your mom and talked to Dawnie. She said she talked to you yesterday and that you had no intention of getting back together with Angel at all costs. That’s when I realized that bastard lied and I called you.”

“He… He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Buffy asked, her voice nervous as she remembered Angel’s words. She’s pretty easy your friend… In many ways…
“No, and I don’t think he would’ve dared to since Doyle was in the living room. How did it go?”

Buffy sighed. “Not good. He’s sick, you know who he brought with him? My dad.”

“What?” Cordy squealed. “Your absent daddy who doesn’t give a shit about you?”

“That would be him. I think he wanted to be sure that I’d say yes to his question…”

“Question?”

“He wanted me to marry him.”

“Don’t tell me you said yes.”

“Hell no,” Buffy frowned. “I mean, a few months ago I would’ve said yes but I’ve seen who he is now. And he got into a fight with Spike too, well… Okay to be honest Spike started it…”

“Spike?” Cordelia questioned. “Who’s Spike?”

“He’s a guy I met here at the bar. We’ve been hanging out for a couple of days.”

“Oh, a hottie huh? So, what have you been up to exactly?” Cordy grinned.

“Cordelia!” Buffy gasped. “He’s a friend.”

“Just a friend?”

“Well… I think so. I mean, he’s really nice and all but we have agreed to let things develop in its own pace. I won’t rush anything. Angel and I just broke up, it’s probably not a good idea to rush into a new relationship right the way.”

“Keep telling yourself that, honey. But I assure you that you will call me in a week and tell me all the saucy details.”

“Cordelia Chase!” Buffy sighed and started to walk out of the kitchen towards the living room. She stopped in the doorway, a smile gracing her features at the sight in front of her. Spike was lying in the sofa, his left arm covering his face and the other hanging down the couch. His chest slowly moved up and down, as it had before when he was sleeping so deep.

“So you’re telling me there isn’t a chance you two are getting together?” Cordy continued in the background and Buffy kept smiling at the scene in front of her.

“Maybe.”

Chapter 17 - Years Gone By

Buffy and Spike were on their way to Giles’s home for dinner. Spike’s wounds had almost healed completely few days after the events at the competition. The only thing left of his fight with the waves and Angel was the cut crossing his eyebrow and a few bruises. Buffy felt helplessly guilty for it, but Spike just scoffed her worries away. He said that it would make him look like a real rock star.

Giles had called earlier that day and asked if Spike would like to come over. Then he’d asked if Buffy also would like to come. She gladly accepted the invitation. Giles was one of Buffy’s favorite authors and she liked both him and Chelsea in person so she wouldn’t miss the chance to meet them again.

So, here they were. In Spike’s black Desoto on their way over to the Giles house. The ride had been made in silence that Buffy normally would’ve felt very uncomfortable with, but this was a nice and comfy silence, Buffy noted with a smile.

She glanced at the clock. It was already eight o’clock so it was going to be a late dinner. Spike had had late surfing practice and Buffy had spent some time with Willow and Tara at the Wicca so they hadn’t had the time until now.

Willow and Tara was two of the most incredible people she’d ever met. They were both funny, smart and really seemed to care about her. Willow was the cute little red head with her weird sense of humor and Tara the more quiet but absolutely adorable girl. She had feared that when she told them about what happened between Spike and Angel they would change their opinion about her because after all, she thought, it was her fault. But she had definitely thought wrong.

“Whoa, Spike got into a fight?” Willow exclaimed, her eyes widening as she leant forward over the bar. Buffy smiled a bit guilty.

“Did he start it?” Tara asked.

“Well,” Buffy started. “To be honest, he… kinda did but at the same time he didn’t.”

Tara and Willow both raised their eyebrows in confusion and Buffy had to suppress a giggle. “I mean, Spike hit Angel – “

“Ohh…” Willow nodded . “I don’t know about you, but I’d say Spike started it if he hit him.”

Buffy sighed. “and then, as I was going to say before you interrupted me,” Buffy continued and earned a sheepish grin from Willow, mouthing sorry, “Angel was way over the line. And I guess it looked kind of… wrong when Angel grabbed me when I tried to walk away. You can’t really blame him.”

“Well, maybe the old rebellious Spike is on his way back,” Tara said with a grin, then a crease suddenly settled between her eyebrows. “I hope not.”

“Tara and Spike got into a few smaller fights while he had his rebellious time,” Willow explained to Buffy and put a hand on her girlfriends arm. “When he got into trouble at clubs and acted really weird at work.”

“Oh, well, I guess he listened to you,” Buffy said, turning to Tara. “I mean, you’re not the type who gets angry much, right? It would affect him more if you told him to stop than if, for example, that Wesley guy who seems to be fighting with Spike every single minute.”

Tara couldn’t help smiling and Willow nodded. “Yeah, well, they’ve always been like that from what I’ve heard. I mean, they are cousins…”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “What? They’re cousins?”

“Yeah, I thought you knew! Wesley is Spike’s mother’s sister’s son. Ah, I remember the first time I saw them together. I seriously thought they were going to kill each other. Oh, did I tell you about the incident with the milkshake…”

Buffy smiled at the memory. She really enjoyed her time with Willow and Tara. As much as she did with Spike. She glanced quickly at him again and eyed his profile for a few seconds before she turned her gaze back to the road. She was definitely going to bring that milkshake accident up at some point, she thought with an evil smirk.

“Here we are.”

Buffy looked out of the window of the car and saw the house placed at the top of the hill. Spike pulled the car to a stop in front of the stairs that led up to the house and together they got out of the car. Giles must’ve seen them coming since he opened the door even before they had gotten all the way up the long stairs. Buffy was slightly panting but Spike seemed to be used to the many steps and walked to greet his father without as much as a pant.

“You made it!” Giles smiled and hugged Buffy after he had greeted his son. “I’m very glad you both could come. The food is almost done; I just have to set the table.”

“Sounds good. What are you making?” Buffy asked and felt her stomach growl as if reading her mind. Buffy glanced down at her stomach and blushed in embarrassment. Spike chuckled and patted her on the shoulder.

“Someone’s hungry, eh?”

Buffy pouted. “I’m sorry, but I just had a sandwich with Willow and Tara.” Spike swallowed quickly and unseen. Did she know what that pout was doing to him? Obviously not. He mentally shook his head before smiling.

“Ah, more for you. So, what are we having?”

“Spaghetti Bolognese. I hope it is edible, my cooking skills aren’t that grate, unfortunately,” Giles replied with a wink at Spike who just shrugged.

“Never complained before so why should I know?”

“You better not,” Giles threatened with a raised eyebrow. He stepped away from the door to let them inside. “Come in, make yourself at home.”

Spike hung off his leather jacket on a clothes hanger and then offered to take Buffy’s jacket.

“Thanks,” Buffy said while shrugging it off. “Do you want us to set the table?”

“You don’t have to do that,” Spike said before his father could answer. “I’m sure Chelsea will do it.”

“I’m afraid not, William,” he shouted from the kitchen. “She is out with some friends but promised she’d be home in time to see you.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. That was a little weird. From what he knew, Chelsea hadn’t been going out for a long time but after all… She was seventeen; of course she’d want to go out. He shrugged off the worries and led Buffy into the dining room.

---

The dinner was very pleasant, Buffy thought when the big clock in the living room noted that the time was twelve a.m. The time had really just flown by, but that’s what time does when you’re having fun, isn’t it?

Giles had shoved her a few pages of his upcoming book that had made Buffy totally hyped. Spike just shook his head at the sight of the extremely enthusiastic Buffy. He’d grown up with his father’s books and he was used to them. After all they were just some…

“-bloody book,” Spike said and immediately regretted his words when Buffy sent him a glare that only meant he should be killed.

“Just a book?” She repeated and then scoffed. “You’re absolutely mad, William Giles. Do you seriously mean that you don’t think your father’s work is absolutely amazing?”

“Well,” Spike said, tilting his head. “I’m not saying it’s bad, trust me I’m not,” he added to his father. “I just don’t see why you get so worked up over a few pages of letters.”

“Few pages of letter?” She questioned and Spike raised his eyebrows before moving back a little.

“Okay, you seriously have to stop doing that. It’s freaking me out.”

“That’s only fair, you going around and not appreciating a man’s good work.”

Giles couldn’t suppress to laugh at the two of them. Buffy with her death glares and Spike looking a bit frightened. “It’s quite all right, Buffy,” he chuckled. “I’m used to William not being especially interested in my books, although I know that he was enormously interested in a book I wrote called ’The Little Rabbit and his carrot’.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Oh, don’t you dare,” he threatened.

“Oh, I dare. Poor William,” Giles smiled in a mocking voice, “you cried so hard when the little rabbit lost his carrot to the mean boy.”

“Stop it!” Spike cried out, covering his ears with his hands. “It’s sad,” he mumbled to himself and Buffy and Giles broke out in a hysterical laughter.

Buffy almost started to laugh at the thought of it. When the chaos about Spike’s childhood book had calmed down Giles had offered to send the book to Buffy as soon as it was finished, even before they were released in the store. This had once again made Buffy excited and Spike just shook his head, but this time he knew better than to comment her behavior.

Buffy was snapped out of her day dreaming when she heard Spike let out a content sigh and lean back in the chair. His eyes wandered round the room as if he was searching for something before a frown settled on his face.

“Shouldn’t Chelsea have been home by now?”

Giles checked the clock and sighed. “I told her to be home early,” he murmured. “But obviously, she seems to have forgotten about it.”

“She’s out this late on a Friday night?” Spike questioned, eye brows raised. “Isn’t it a bit late? I mean, I wasn’t allowed to be out that late when I was sixteen.”

Giles shook his head. “She’s seventeen, William and no you weren’t but did that stop you?”

A flash of guilt crossed Spike’s face and a smile curled on his lips as he suddenly found the fork very interesting. “Maybe…”

Buffy laughed. “Well, it’s been very nice, Mr. Giles. Thank you so much for inviting me.”

Giles waved her off. “Nothing to talk about, dear, and please call me Giles. Everyone else does.”

“Alright, Giles. But, I think it’s time for me to head back home. It’s been a pretty long day you know.”

Spike nodded. ”Same here, I’ll drive you home, Buffy.” He then turned to Giles. “Thanks for the dinner, dad. I’ll make it up to you sometime.”

Giles chuckled. “Nothing to worry about, William. I’m just glad you could come.” He put on a meaning look. “I barley see you anymore, you know.”

”Yeah, sorry about that. It’s been a pretty busy week.”

“The cut on your eyebrow a part of it?” Giles asked curiously with a smirk. “What did you do?”

“Uh…” Spike threw a quick glance at Buffy who looked pretty uneasy. “Nothing, got into a fight is all. No biggie.”

Giles raised his eyebrow at his son’s bad explanation. “A fight no biggie? I’d beg the differ, son.”

“I’m sorry, Giles, but that would be my fault. You see, my ex boyfriend came to the town and he’s a little… Special, special as in the way he didn’t want to leave without me. Spike helped me out but Angel hit him and they got into a fight.”

Spike scoffed. “I hit him, luv. That wanker wouldn’t be able to hit a wall without missing it. He’s a chump.”

Buffy just shook her head. “I tried to help you, you know.”

Spike grinned. “Sorry, but it’s the truth.”

It took them another fifteen minutes to finally leave Giles’s dining room after having to explain all about Angel and Connor. Once again, Buffy was surprised to realize that Giles was not upset at her at all for getting his son into a fight. Sure, he didn’t exactly look happy about it but she could see that Giles was not blaming her. That made her fell warm and loved. Even if Buffy knew she had to get some sleep it was hard to leave it. Somehow, she just felt so comfortable in this house with those people.

Spike called one last good bye to his father who had stayed upstairs to deal with the dishes and pulled on his leather duster. They were just about to walk out the door when Spike stopped dead in his tracks at the sight.

“Chelsea?” Spike frowned at the mess of a sister he had in front of him and she gave him a grin.

“Well, hello, Spike,” Chelsea Giles greeted him and tried to walk past him into the hall but he stopped her. Chelsea let out a sigh and met Spike’s eyes. “May I go inside?”

“Where have you been? From what I know of dad asked you to be home much earlier than this,” Spike said, crossing his arms, taking on the over protective brother look.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. I just lost track of time.” Her eyes darted towards Buffy. “Hi, Buffy. I’m sorry, but I’m tired. I’ll talk to you another day.”

Once again she tried to walk past her brother but he moved and didn’t let her. “What now?” She sighed, irritated.

“You’re drunk,” Spike stated. Chelsea rolled her eyes. “I thought you had stopped hanging around those so called friends of yours.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, Spike, but yes, I have stopped hanging out with ‘em. And I’m not drunk.”

“You’re saying you’re not drunk, Chelsea? Try to explain that to dad with the smell of alcohol coming from you.”

The girl in front of them wrinkled her nose. “I don’t smell. And I didn’t drink, my friends did. Must be them.”

“I can’t see any of them here, Chels,” Spike growled, angrily.

“Oh, you can’t!” Chelsea smirked, looking around as if she knew they were hiding in the bushes. With a small purring voice that sounded like she was calling on a cat she said; “Come on, friends, you can come out now. Oh, damn, they’re afraid to with you standing here. Well, I guess you’ll meet them another day. Meanwhile, I’m going to bed.”

She moved quickly and got past Spike but he grabbed her arm and whipped her around. “Stop acting like a five year old and explain why you’re drunk already! I’m not stupid, Chelsea and so isn’t dad. My guess would be that Buffy can smell the alcohol too, am I right?” He said, turning to Buffy who still stood by the door with a confused look. She so didn’t want to be involved in this.

“Um, I don’t think that’s something I should answer, I should go…”

“You stay!” Spike snapped, making Buffy frown as he turned back to Chelsea. “What the hell are you playing at Chelsea?” He continued with a sharp voice that must’ve been heard into the living room since there were footsteps in the stairs and just a few seconds later Giles was standing in the hall, looking confused.

“What’s going on? William, let go of you sister,” he said with a menacing voice and Spike eased the grip but didn’t let go completely. “What’s happened here?”

“Yeah, why won’t you tell dad why you’re drunk, Chelsea?” Spike asked, giving her a fake smile and Chelsea snapped her arm out of his grip with a deathly glare.

“Chelsea?” Giles said, waiting for an explanation and she put her hands up in defeat.

“All right, I’m drunk, okay?” She snapped, glaring at Spike. “Happy? Good, then I’ll go to sleep.”

“Ah-ah, don’t think so,” Spike said, stopping her from walking away. “I think you should tell us why?”

“Spike, stop that – “Buffy started but stopped when she saw Spike’s eyes meet hers.

“Don’t get involved in this.”

Buffy frowned at him, anger rising. “Well, I think you wanted me to be involved in this just a second ago.”

Spike sent her a glare very much like the one Chelsea had given him. “Will you stop that?”

“Stop what?” Buffy snapped. “You’re being too hard on her, Spike. Let her explain it to her dad and not – “

“Sorry, but I don’t really fancy letting my sister walk away from this,” Spike snorted back.

“And I meet those kinds of problems daily, Spike, and I know it’s not the way!” Buffy challenged and Spike opened his mouth to come with an answer but Chelsea’s tears cracked voice stopped him. He let his eyes fall on the younger girl beside him. Her eyes had suddenly begun to tear up, but still the anger and disappointment were there. She shook her head in denial.

“I can’t believe you’re even asking me why I did this,” she mumbled. “Yes, I know it’s not the way, to drown your sorrows in alcohol I mean, but what else could I do, Spike?” Tears were pouring down her cheeks and a frown settled on Spike’s face. “Sit here? Pretend that everything’s all right? I’d much rather go out and get drunk.”

“What are you getting at, Chelsea?” Spike asked, calmer this time because it was years since he’d seen Chelsea cry and to be honest it freaked him out. He hadn’t seen her cry since – oh no.

“How could you forget?” Chelsea spit out through gritted teeth and Spike felt the shame wash over him and all he wanted to do was to sink into the ground and never show up again. “How could you forget it?”

“Mum…” Spike mumbled, too ashamed to look straight into his sister or father’s eyes. “That why you asked us over? Because it’s been…” He asked his father and out of the corner of his eye he saw Giles nod.

“Two years,” Giles answered him softly with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Spike said as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I-I didn’t mean to, it’s just… It’s been so much going on right now and – “

“So you’re saying that because you had a lot of stuff going on you had a get outta jail free card?” Chelsea snapped, looking at him with fire in her eyes. She scoffed. “I’d doubt it.”

“And what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Spike challenged the anger suddenly back. “You think you’re helping dad while you’re out drinking yourself bloody pissed?”

“I do whatever I want. It’s none of your business. And I didn’t have anything to do, or say to help dad,” Chelsea continued. “I couldn’t sit around here and think of all the happy memories with her; it may help for you but not for me. It didn’t help me cope.”

“Yeah, and alcohol did?” Spike snapped.

“You’re unbelievable. I did this for you, for dad!”

“Getting drunk? Oh, thanks, that really helped…”

“No!” Chelsea exclaimed, desperate for them to understand. “I did not get drunk for you, and not for me. I got out for you, and for me. I’d freak out on you here if I’d stayed.”

“And no one would’ve cared, Chels!” Spike yelled. “We’re family!”

“William…”

Spike ignored his father’s voice. He was too angry with her but mostly with himself for forgetting this day. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten it and almost left his father alone… Why he took it out on Chelsea and Buffy he couldn’t really say, it was all just too hard to handle by himself.

“I don’t like to let people see me cry, that’s just the way it is.”

“Oh, the bottle understands you better then?”

“Will you just drop that?! Okay, I messed up! It’s the past!”

“Chelsea…”

“It may be the past but it’s not forgotten, Chelsea,” Spike replied. “You’re seventeen, dammit, you’re not supposed to – “

“William – “

“Oh, god, Giles!” Buffy exclaimed as she saw Giles press his hand against his chest in plain agony and falling down on the floor. His face screwed up in pain. Spike was frozen in his place, he saw Buffy rush over to Giles, talking, screaming, yelling… But he couldn’t hear a word. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Chelsea running towards them, shaking him… Then suddenly Buffy’s voice cut through to him when her eyes met his, worry and reality hit him.

“Call an ambulance now! He’s having a heart attack!”

Chapter 18 - Sadness

“William and Chelsea Giles?”

Spike looked up at the doctor who had just entered the waiting room and he found himself clasping his hands together even harder than before. On shaky legs he stood up and nodded to the doctor. From the corner of his eye he saw Chelsea and Buffy stand up too.

“I-Is he… Will he be all right?” Spike dared to ask, afraid of the answer and he felt Chelsea press herself against his side for comfort. He wished he could give her that but he didn’t know what to do except putting and arm around her shoulders.

“Mr. Giles will be okay,” the doctor confirmed and Spike’s shoulders sagged in relief as Chelsea let out a quiet sob. “Although, I want to keep him here for a few days, just to make sure. He had a heart attack and it seems like he was under a lot of stress and also having missed taking his medication too many times. In the future I’d want you to make sure he’s taking the pills to avoid this happening again.”

“Of course,” Spike said, his throat dry as he glanced at Chelsea, then Buffy who stood beside his sister looking at him with relief. “C-can we see him?”

The doctor nodded kindly. “Yes, but only one at a time to begin with. Mr. Giles needs to rest.”

“Why won’t you go first, Chels?” Spike asked the younger girl and she nodded. “Meanwhile I’ll go and get us something to eat.”

“Follow me then.”

---

“Coffee?”

Buffy jumped at the sudden voice. She had been deep in her thoughts and hadn’t heard Spike coming. Her eyes met his sapphire ones and she nodded and took the cup from him.

Spike sat down beside her in one of the waiting room’s uncomfortable chairs with a sigh. “I appreciate you staying, Buffy,” he started, “but you don’t have to now when everything seems to be fine.”

“If you want me to go just say so,” Buffy said, her voice barley a whisper and Spike frowned.

“That’s not what I said.”

“I know that. I just wanted you to know that you could tell me to,” Buffy replied softly, still not looking at him.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Spike said, making sure she understood that he really didn’t want her to. Buffy nodded and took a sip of her coffee, then making a face that made Spike smile. “Disgusting, eh?”

“That’s an understatement,” she said, smiling for the first time in hours. Then she turned serious again, finding her fingers very interesting. Spike let his eyes rest on her fingers for a few seconds, watching them clasp and unclasp and he realized that she was nervous. He let out a sigh.

“Buffy…” He began and she turned her head towards him. Suddenly he lost his ability to speak, so it seemed. He opened his mouth, once, twice… All the words he wanted to say seemed to have disappeared when she looked at him, her beautiful eyes almost drowning him. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m sorry too,” Buffy replied, smiling slightly. “But… I just hate it when people – anyone - tell me what to do. I can’t do it. And this whole thing with Chelsea, I realize I got nothing to do with it but I couldn’t just stand there and watch.”

“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, luv,” Spike said. “I… I know it doesn’t mean much, saying I’m sorry over and over again but I want you to know I really am. I lost it.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Like you noticed. It’s just… Do you remember what I told you, that night? About my mum… and Chelsea?”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, you said she’d been out a lot, hanging with the wrong people.”

“Exactly,” Spike replied, warming his fingers on the coffee cup. “But it got better. A lot better and then seeing her like that again… it was just a slap in the face.”

“I realize that,” Buffy answered before she carefully asked, “Had you… Had you really forgotten about your mother?”

Spike felt all the shame wash over him for the hundredth time that night. He couldn’t believe he had actually forgotten about it. Every year since she had died, he’d mourn on this very day, tried to think of all the happy memories with her, talked to Giles… He had promised himself that he would always think of his mum, especially on this day and yet – he had forgotten. After all… He had found her, a little more than two years from now, her bloodied, lifeless body…

He realized Buffy was still waiting for an answer by the way she tilted her head to get a glimpse of his hidden face. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Well, it’s understandable,” Buffy said softly, trying to comfort him and giving him a reassuring smile. “You’ve been through a lot lately. With Connor, Angel and all.”

“Yeah, and you,” Spike said without thinking. Buffy’s smile disappeared as fast as it had shown up and was replaced by an expressionless face.

“What?” Buffy said, standing up and nearly knocking the chair down with her speed. “You’re blaming me for this?”

Spike felt the panic rise in his chest. No, she was not to blame for this and he hadn’t meant that either. “No, I just mean that… You know…?” He trailed off, begging her to understand but she just crossed her arms over her chest.

“No. I don’t know. Tell me.”

Spike sighed, trying to find the right words. “I meant that… that this time with you, it made me forget.” Spike gave himself a mental slap. You wanker, what the hell are you doing?

“Well, that’s what I thought you said,” Buffy mumbled, hurt covering her voice and Spike felt a lump in his throat start to take for when he saw her sad because of him.

“No, Buffy,” he said running his hand through his hair as if hoping it would make him clear his head. “Bloody hell, I seem to say all the wrong things tonight, don’t I?”

Buffy didn’t answer. She just eyed him, waiting for his explanation. Spike stood up and started to pace in front of her. The scene would’ve been comical if it wasn’t so serious, Buffy thought, the way her head followed his steps, back and forth, back and forth.

He came to a halt a few seconds later and faced her. “No, I don’t blame you, Buffy, although I know that you are a part of the reason I forgot about today. Wait, just let me explain,” Spike quickly let out when he saw Buffy raise her eyebrows and dropping her arms along her sides. For a second it seemed like she would protest but then she gestured for him to continue. “Like I said… I think, no, I know that this has to do with you. I’ve been spending nearly all those days with you and don’t get me wrong, they’ve been great, fun…” He slowly let his eyes meet hers and found that they had softened a bit and didn’t contain as much anger as it had before.

“Those days have been among the best of my life.”

Buffy didn’t know what to say so she just kept watching him and didn’t interrupt him. He started to take up the pacing again, drawing his eyes away from her. “I know it’s probably against all... unwritten rules and sense to say this now but it’s the truth. I’ve been occupied by you and your charm, all of you. My band mates have been complaining because I haven’t been around like I used to,” he added and Buffy couldn’t keep a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Don’t you understand, Buffy?” He said, finally coming to a stop. “You’re the reason I forgot. I did not remember that today was the day my mother died. Don’t think of it in a bad way, because it’s not. Sure, I feel ashamed, I really do. But think of how incredible it is that you made me completely forget about it. You have to understand that, Buffy, because I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

Buffy’s mouth was wide open and her throat dry. She didn’t know what to say. Her eyes were teary and hands trembling. She was at loss of words. What could she say to that?

“I – “

“Mr. Giles?” The blonde duo turned around at the sound of the doctor’s voice. “Your sister wanted to let you know that you can visit your father now.”

“Uh, thanks,” Spike replied and the doctor gave him a warm smile, waiting for him to come. Spike turned to Buffy as if asking her what he should do. Buffy mentally shocked herself and gave him a weak smile. “I’ll be here.”

Spike silently thanked her and walked after the doctor who led him into the room where Giles was.

---

Spike was sitting at one of the chairs in the room quietly talking to his father.

“Have you talked to Chelsea yet?” Giles asked as sat up a little bit in the bed.

Spike nodded. “We did, a bit in the waiting room. But I think we’ll talk later again.”

Giles nodded, and tilted his head in curiosity. “And Buffy?”

With a shake of his head Spike couldn’t hold the chuckle. “You’re always asking about her.”

“Well, I see that she is a big part of your life and she is a very nice young woman. Besides, you know what I meant. Did you work things out?”

“I think so,” Spike replied. “I wasn’t fair to her, she hadn’t done anything.”

“It’s good you realise that by yourself, William,” Giles said. “If I hadn’t had those stupid chest pains I would’ve stopped you but… Well, you know what happened.”

“We set this off, didn’t we?” Spike asked, remorse filling his voice. “The chest pains I mean. Considering the stress we put you through in such a short time.”

Giles seemed to think about it for a second before answering. “William, I won’t lie. I’ve told Chelsea this too, that whole thing with your sister being out much later than I would have liked, that she got drunk and then the fight… But you can’t blame yourselves for this, promise me that. I haven’t been very careful with my medications lately. I tend to forget them.”

“You have to be more careful, Dad,” Spike mumbled. “I’ll come by and help you more, I promise. And you can call me whenever you – “

Giles chuckled. “It’s all right, William. You don’t have to spend 24 hours a day with me, though I can’t help but say it would be nice to have you around a little bit more,” he added with a wink and Spike smiled.

“I will.”

“Although, right now I know you can’t come that often. You should spend time with Buffy. I know you two need it.”

“Are you sure?” Spike asked, frowning and Giles nodded in agreement.

“I can see you like her.”

“You do?”

Giles scoffed as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “I’m not blind. I see it in your eyes. You two are meant to be.”

“I don’t know, da,” Spike sighed. “I mean, she won’t stay here forever and what happens when she’s going home?”

“Well, then you better go make the most out of it,” Giles said, thinking he made his point clear but when Spike didn’t move he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. “Now!”

Chapter 19 - Realising

Just a few days later, Spike’s band was supposed to play again. His face was as good as new, except for the scar crossing his eyebrow. Buffy had promised to come and was really excited for it.

When the night of the gig approached Buffy made her way through the village towards Wicca were the band was playing once again. Since Willow knew Xander Harris, the drummer, from their school years in America she always let them play at the pub. Apparently Willow had had a crush on him too before she met Tara.

Buffy was thrilled for tonight. She had only heard Spike sing once before, the night she came to Cornwall and from what she heard then, he was a star. Come to think of it, that voice made me turn around in that barstool… She thought as she entered the surprisingly filled pub. A lot of the listeners were girls, Buffy noted and a weird feeling filled her. She frowned and mentally shook her head. Wait, I’m not jealous am I? I mean, why would I be? It’s not like I have the right to, I’m not his girlfriend or anything…

Determined to shake off those feelings she made her way towards the bar where she spotted Tara serving a costumer and Willow standing beside her, making a drink for a young man. When she saw Buffy, her face lit up in a smile and she waved at her. “Buffy!”

“Hey Willow,” Buffy greeted and gave the new found friend of hers a hug. “Hi, Tara!” She added and Tara winked at her before another costumer showed up.

“So, many people here tonight? You must be making money.”

Willow laughed and let her eyes land on the stage where a few people were setting up the things. “Yeah, on these nights we make a lot of money. But, I have to admit I didn’t think it would be so many people here tonight though. Well… many I thought but this is just… lots!”

Buffy grinned and sat down at a barstool. Willow turned around and filled a glass of beer to another man on order from Tara while talking to Buffy. “So, what can I offer you? Drink?”

“Oh,” Buffy said shaking her head frantically. “I thought you remembered that Buffy and alcohol are unmixy things. I’ll take a diet coke.”

Willow put her hand against her forehead dramatically. “Ah! Sorry, I forgot. I’ll get you one diet coke instead.”

When the crowd of people started to whistle and cheer Buffy turned around towards the stage and felt as she was back at the first night in Cornwall, although, to be honest this was another chair. The band was coming on to the stage. Last of all, Spike stepped up on the stage and the crowd went wild. Buffy chuckled as she saw Spike smirk one of his sexiest smirks. She frowned and shook her head. Smirk. Not sexy. A normal, nice… smirk. Keep fooling yourself, a little voice in her head told her and she let out a frustrated little growl. Stupid inner voice, always knows the best.

---

Xander grabbed the microphone from his position behind the drums twenty minutes later. “We’ll take a short break but we’ll be back soon.”

Buffy clapped her hands together with a smile on her face. She wanted to tell Spike how good he was. Her eyes searched for him but he had disappeared down the stage. As if reading her thoughts, Willow gestured towards a door further in the pub.

“I’m sure Spike would appreciate it if you showed up backstage,” Willow told Buffy. “Tell the man standing over there that you’ve had my permission to go inside. He’s called Riley Finn.”

Buffy thanked Willow and made her way towards the door where Willow had pointed. It was no trouble getting inside, Riley told her he knew Willow would only let friends inside and he let her pass. Inside, she felt lost though. There was a long hall with a lot of doors, leading into different rooms. She started to walk down the corridor, reading the signs on the doors but there was nothing that could help her find Spike.

Suddenly she heard voices and laughs from one of the rooms further down the corridor. The door was left ajar and Buffy made a quick decision and walked down to it. Just as she was about to knock she stopped, her hand merely inches from the wooden door.

Drusilla.

She gulped at the sight in front of her. Drusilla was standing in front of Spike, almost pressing herself against him, her right hand entwining with his left. Spike’s back was facing her and she couldn’t see his face. All of a sudden, she was happy. Drusilla had a pleasant look on her face. Buffy couldn’t hear what she was saying, Drusilla’s voice a mere whisper.

She didn’t know how long she stood there, her hand still in the same position as it was about to knock, before getting herself together and moving away from the door. Just as Buffy turned around she could’ve swore she felt Drusilla’s eyes falling on her back, but she didn’t turn back. She wanted to get away and fast.

Quickly she walked past the doors towards the exit, barley noticing Xander and Gunn greeting her and frowning when she rushed away. She didn’t even stop when Riley called after her. This was all too weird. Why did I react like that? Buffy asked herself, once out in the bar again. All those feelings were making her dizzy and she didn’t know what to think. Of course, though, he’d get back with Drusilla at some point. They’d been together for years, of course he’d have a weak point with her.

He probably still loved her.

That statement made her feel sick and she was making herself furious - again. The jealousy (even though she didn’t really want to admit that was it), the sadness, the guilt of feeling this way. At loss of what to do, Buffy ran her hand through her hair and took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

She didn’t know if she wanted to stay. The risk of seeing Drusilla and Spike together were big and she didn’t want that. As much as she hated to admit it – it hurt.

Deciding she’d stay in the background and then leave right after the show was over, she walked back to the bar and sat down; hoping Willow or Tara wouldn’t see her. She was sure she looked like she’d seen a ghost right now, at least she felt like she’d seen one. But, of course her luck wasn’t that great, just a few moments later Tara appeared behind the bar and with a frown.

“Buffy? Are you all right?”

Buffy gave her a fake smile and nodded. “Fine. Never been better actually!” Not wanting to look her in the eyes she turned her gaze towards the stage. Her stomach turned when she saw Spike stepping up on it. Quickly she turned back to Tara and grabbed the drink she was just about to serve one of the customers. In one second, she swallowed it all and put it back on the bar with a groan. The strong liquid burned down her throat and her face scrunched up in disgust. “Disgusting,” she muttered and Tara raised her eyebrows.

“Uh, Buffy? Remember what you told Willow? Buffy and alcohol equals bad?” She said carefully and Buffy grunted an ‘I’m fine’ in response. “All right, Buffy, I don’t think you should – ”

Tara’s voice was drowned by the melody of the guitar and she quietly cursed Gunn for making it now. Buffy knew that if she looked at Tara, she’d see that she wasn’t at all fine and she’d break. Somehow, Tara had that talent – or curse, she wasn’t sure which it was – she could always make Buffy to tell her anything without actually asking her to.

“We’re back with a few songs,” Spike said into the microphone and the girls who stood in the front just below the stage screamed as soon as he opened his mouth. Spike smiled at them. They’re absolutely mad… “and I’d like to dedicate this to a person that has become a close friend of mine in the short time I have got the fortune of knowing her. Right, here goes…”

Huh, wonder what Drusilla would say about that… Buffy thought since she was sure he meant her. Maybe it sounded a little self-centered to say that but from what she knew of Spike hadn’t met any other female friend. Oh, maybe he has… What if… She didn’t finish that thought and drained another glass. She grimaced as the dizziness reached her. “Ugh, Tara what the hell was in that drink?”

“Buffy, seriously, what’s wrong? You shouldn’t - “ Once again she was interrupted by the sound of the band playing and Tara groaned in frustration. Buffy took that chance to get away from there, from the awkward questions, not caring about her state.

“Never mind, I’ll go dancing. I’ll talk to you later!” She said in a high pitch voice and faked a smile. She walked out in the crowd of dancing people, pretending she didn’t hear Tara call her name.

Buffy had always loved dancing, no matter where she was. But during the time she’d dated Angel she had stopped. Angel didn’t at all like the fact that she’d drawn the hungry eyes of many guys towards her when she danced and to make him happy - she had stopped. She shook her head at her stupidity. Buffy closed off her mind and let her body move to the music.

Here she comes with a master plan
And I’m starting to lose control
Here she comes to this trash of man
And I’m ready to taste it all

She closed her eyes and let Spike’s voice be the only thing she heard in the background. She didn’t care about the people around her. Didn’t see Spike’s eyes stare at her in bewilderment. Didn’t see the man watching her from the bar…

And she’s
Bringing me in
Checking me out
Making me glorious

Another wave of nauseas washed over her and she stopped her moments for a second to curse herself for drinking the alcohol. She really couldn’t take much of it, she knew that since previous events. But seeing Drusilla and Spike together hurt more than she wanted to admit and she just had to do… something. Maybe drinking wasn’t the best idea, okay, it absolutely was not but still.

Here she comes like a brand new day
Belly dancing across the room
In the moonlight I watch her sway
To her rhythm I'll go as groom, with grace, tonight

Her body moved in time with the music and she let herself disappear into her own world. Suddenly Buffy felt a body move behind her and for a moment she believed it was Spike. Then, still with her eyes close, she frowned. That didn’t make sense. Spike was on the stage. Right? Or did her brain play her a trick? Maybe that alcohol was effecting her quicker than she thought. No, she wasn’t imagining. That was Spike’s voice in the background. The chorus of the song he’d dedicated to her was still sung by his beautiful voice.

For a second, she forgot about the person behind her but when she felt something hard poke her in her ass her eyes widened and reality crashed down on her.

A pair of strong arms encircled her waist and she held her breath as the man started to dance with her, letting his hands wander down her body. Buffy felt extremely uncomfortable. Something was definitely not right. She turned around and froze when she recognized the face. She had seen him before, but where? Work, brain, work!

“Hey, babe,” he mumbled, smirking as he thought she’d melt. Then it hit her.

‘This is sunshine? She sure looks more like an innocent little-‘

“Lindsey?” She got out in a raspy voice, too shocked to move away just yet. “What are you doing?”

He chuckled. “Silly girl… What does it look like?” His left hand held her waist in a firm grip while the other one wandered down. She flinched and tried to move only to realize she couldn’t. He had her in such a strong grip it would be impossible for her to get out. The thought of being kept here by Lindsey whom she did not like at all and on top of it gave her the creeps made her panic. Once again Buffy tried to get out of his grip without much success.

“Let go of me,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm and demanding but it came out as a mere whisper, almost a plea. “Lindsey – “

“What? Worried your bleached friend will notice?” He grinned and leant into her ear and whispered. “He won’t even notice, I promise, if we go back into the – “

Buffy pushed at his chest. “Stop it and let me go. I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I. Come on, you know there’s something between us...”

“No. I don’t,” Buffy replied through clenched teeth and tried to move his hand from coming to near her ass. “I’m not interested. And, what would Dru say? Never mind, she’s too busy screwing Spike I guess…”

The words didn’t effect as Buffy would’ve thought. Instead of becoming over protective boyfriend he only smiled. “Dru got her way with him then?”

Buffy frowned. “What?” She hissed. ”You knew?”

”’Course, babe. It’s all a part of the – ”

“Don’t call me that,” she glared at him and did one more try to get away from him but Lindsey only brought her closer to him and she felt the evidence of his desire for her. She flinched. “Let. Me. Go.”

Lindsey grinned mischievously. “Or what?”

“Or this.”

The next moment Lindsey was laying on the floor, clutching at his nose as someone aimed a kick at him in the stomach. Buffy backed in shock and glanced up at the person’s leg who was right now aiming a kick at Lindsey’s groin. She met two blue eyes full of anger.

“Spike, stop it!” Buffy screamed, not thinking of Lindsey’s health but of Spike. If the guards came and saw him doing this it would definitely not be good and considering all the faces in the crowd that was now directed at the trio, they knew.

Buffy rushed forwards and placed herself between Spike and Lindsey as she realized Spike was not listening to her. He was just about to kick when she stood in front of him and stopped. “Move, Buffy.”

“Stop it, you’ll only get yourself into trouble,” Buffy pleaded and her voice and her hands on his shoulders seemed to be reassuring enough. He backed a few steps as if showing her he wouldn’t attack him anymore but the fire in his eyes were still there, directed at Lindsey.

“What’s going on here?”

It was the guard Buffy had been granted permission to go backstage who showed up behind her and glanced from Lindsey’s bloody form on the floor then towards Spike and Buffy. Lindsey groaned and tried to sit up.

“The idiot hit me!” He squeaked. Riley glanced at Spike in confusion and first then, Buffy realized Spike must’ve jumped town from the stage right in the middle of the song. Xander and Wesley were still on the stage while Gunn was moving towards Spike through the crowd. Her heart fluttered, he’d come to help her. Lindsey continued his painful moans. “He hit me with no reason!”

Spike scoffed furiously. “No reason? From what I saw you were keeping the girl on the floor against her will. Wouldn’t that be enough reason?”

“She wanted to!” He hissed. “What do you care? You’ve got Drusilla.”

Spike glared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”.

Riley stepped in between them and crouched down beside Lindsey. Grabbing his arm and helping him up Riley told him, “All right, Lindsey, I think it’s time to go. Work this out another time and not here.”

Buffy glanced after Riley and swallowed. She couldn’t form a word. Nothing to help Spike. What the hell was wrong with her? He’d helped her for god’s sake!

Spike glanced at her. “Are you okay?” She turned around, looking into his worried eyes. For a second or two she just stared at him before nodding.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks, I – “

“Good. Go stay with Willow and Tara while I finish the last songs, then we’ll talk,” he said, waiting for her answer and she nodded again at loss of words. He smiled at her and quickly squeezed her hand. The same hand he’d held Drusilla with a few minutes earlier, Buffy noted. She glanced at her hand before seeing that he was gone. Buffy watched after him as Gunn grabbed him by the arm and helped him back up on the stage before she realized that the people gathering around her was still looking at her.

Blushing hard, she moved out of the dance area towards the bar still in confusion. All her thoughts drifted back to the events… If Drusilla and Spike were back together, then why had he helped away from Lindsey? Maybe he cared about her as a friend and didn’t want her to be harmed... Well, that one was of course a good reason. And she was his friend. That was what she had been all along, wasn’t it? She should be happy for Spike, he was after all someone she cared about – much. She should hope they’d get a happy life together. She’d be standing at their wedding telling them how wonderful they’re relationship was… Not feeling as someone had ripped her heart out.

And for the first time she realised the scaring truth. I’m falling for him. I’m falling for him and I can’t have him.

So, what do you think? Please review and tell me :)

Chapter 20 - Confrontations

Buffy waited at the bar, thinking, thinking… She was scared of what she’d realised. She knew she cared about Spike, but this was more than in a friendly way. Her heart clenched at the image of Drusilla and Spike locked tightly together backstage. He’d been open, he’d wanted them to become something more before and she’d refused. Now, it was too late.

“Buffy,” Tara said and Buffy snapped out of it, glancing at her friend with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry I ran away. I just needed to… you know. Get away a bit.”

Tara nodded, tilting her head as her kind eyes tried to read her. “Are you okay? I shouldn’t have given you that drink.”

Buffy shook her head, feeling bad. “It was not your fault Tara. I took it and like you said, alcohol and Buffy not mixy. I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“Actually I’m waiting for Spike to come back but thanks anyway.”

Tara’s eyes widened as if she’d just realised something important. “It was you!”

“Us?” Buffy questioned and Tara nodded.

“The fight. I was in the back store but I heard it. Spike punched someone?”

“Lindsey McDonald,” Buffy responded. It was no point in lying, first of all, Tara was her friend and second – they’d find out soon enough. “He… He came on to me on the dance floor. Kinda didn’t let me go and I guess Spike saw it and… Well, you know what happened.”

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Buffy gave Tara a reassuring smile. She was touched by the way Tara cared for her. “No. Spike made sure of that.”

“Hey, can I get some help over here?”

Tara turned her gaze towards a man standing a few feet away waiting to order. With a look of regret she turned back to Buffy and Buffy nodded, to make sure Tara understood it was okay for her to go. “You go. I’ll be all right.”

---

Half an hour later, Buffy was sitting in Spike’s Desoto as he pulled the car to a stop outside her cottage. The engine became quiet and they both remained in the silence that had been there since they left the Wicca. Not knowing were to start, Buffy found her fingernails very interesting and Spike’s hands was gripping the steering wheel tightly.

The darkness had fallen over them, the only light was from the moon that shone upon the car’s front.

“Spike – “

“Buffy –

Both spoke at the same time. Awkwardly they smiled at each other and went silent again. Buffy shook her head. The alcohol had worked directly on her but since she only took two or three smaller glasses the effect was starting to subside. She guessed she’d get away with a small headache tomorrow.

Deciding to take the first step, Buffy spoke quietly. “Thanks. For before, I mean.”

Spike shrugged. “It was nothing. Couldn’t let Lindsey get away with that.”

Buffy averted her gaze for a moment before frowning. “So you didn’t think I wanted to dance with him?”

“No,” he said, then suddenly becoming uncerain. “Or… I didn’t think so, I mean… You were struggling and it looked like you tried to get away and – “ He trailed off, keeping in eyes on the steering wheel. She wanted to stop me, Spike thought, and I believed it was because the guards were coming, but what if she really asked me to stop because of Lindsey?

“You were right,” Buffy said and Spike turned his head towards her. She saw the confusion in his face and clarified. “I didn’t want to dance with him and he wouldn’t let me go.”

“Oh,” Spike said, relief filling his voice in an instant. “What was he playing at?”

Buffy shrugged. She really didn’t know. Maybe, he thought that now when Drusilla had Spike she’d be desperate for someone but she couldn’t say that… It was all too real. “I don’t know,” was her answer.

They became quiet again. This wasn’t like the relaxing silence she and Spike usually had. This was something very uncomfortable and she hated it. They had, during their short time together, never felt this itchy in each other’s company. Buffy sighed.

“Spike, I’m sorry I ruined your gig,” she said and he rose and eyebrow.

“That’s what you’re thinking about?”

Buffy scowled at him. “Well, yeah. Your band mates didn’t look too happy.”

“They didn’t care and even if they did, what does it matter? He was coming on to you, you didn’t like it and he didn’t get that. Of course they understood. By the way, talking about band mates, they said you were backstage.”

Buffy let her eyes fall to the floor and she felt her cheeks start to blush. “Uh, yeah. Willow let me.” Spike frowned and tilted his head.

“Then why didn’t I see you?”

She bit her lip before answering. “You were kind of busy,” she murmured sinking back in the seat. Spike only looked more and more confused as he raised his scarred eyebrow.

“Busy? I wasn’t busy.”

“You sure seemed like it,” she muttered. Spike sighed, she could be pretty stubborn all right.

“Busy in… what way?”

Buffy let out a sad sigh and let her head rest against the door frame of the car. “In a Drusilla kind of way.”

Spike closed his eyes for a second. So she had seen Drusilla in there… But that still didn’t explain why she ran off? Drusilla and he had only talked… Well, at first, then she started to flirt with him and touch him, just as she’d done those times when they’d been together. Surprised, he realized that he felt nothing but disgust for her. If she would’ve done the same thing maybe two years ago, he practically would’ve crawled on his knees. But now, when she had asked him if he wanted to go somewhere more private his answer had been to throw her out.

“You saw her, huh? But, pet, I would’ve been glad to be interrupted,” he smiled and Buffy mentally slapped herself for weakening when she saw that beautiful smile.

“Didn’t look like you wanted to be interrupted,” Buffy muttered under her breath, barley high enough for Spike to comprehend. When he made out the words the frown on his face only became deeper.

“I didn’t? Well, you understand that I sure didn’t enjoy having her in there?” When Buffy didn’t answer Spike let out a sigh and couldn’t resist the accusing tone in his voice. “You believe I enjoyed it, don’t you?”

Buffy straightened up in her seat, still not looking at him but she didn’t have to. She could feel his eye boor into her.

“I don’t know, I… I didn’t see your face.”

“Well, then you can’t know!” Spike exclaimed throwing up his hands.

“Oh well, I didn’t see your face but you sure didn’t push her away when she pressed herself to you and grabbed your hand and – “ Buffy trailed off and rolled her eyes. I’m pathetic, she cursed herself. I’m sounding like the jealous girlfriend, only… I’m not her.

Spike was watching her troubled face and tried to understand what she was thinking which wasn’t an easy task. He tilted his head and a smirk formed on his lips. “You’re jealous.”

Buffy whipped her head towards him. “Jealous? I’m jealous?” She started to laugh, trying not to sound too fake. “I don’t think so, buddy.”

Spike nodded. “Aha. So, can you explain why you got so mad about me and Drusilla talking?”

Buffy didn’t answer, she just glanced at her hands and Spike started to become frustrated so, he added, “and maybe doing something more…”

Once again, her head whipped around. “What?” Buffy shook her head. These thought, these questions were making her dizzy. “No, that doesn’t make me jealous.”

“Really?” Spike questioned, clearly amused and Buffy stubbornly shook her head.

“Nope. Not the slightest.”

“Anyone ever told you you’re a bad liar?” Buffy gave him a mad glare and Spike chuckled. “Sorry, kitten. But it’s the truth.”

“I lie good, I – “ Buffy closed her eyes in frustration and let out a heavy sigh. “Why, oh, why me…”

“We’ve got one thing clear, Buffy. You were jealous so – “

“I was not – “

“ - is that why you agreed to dance with Lindsey? To make me jealous?” Spike went on without paying attention to her lame comebacks. Buffy raised an eyebrow.

“Did it look like I wanted to dance with Lindsey?”

“You danced for a while before you started to struggle,” Spike mumbled and it was Buffy’s turn to smirk knowingly at him.

“You were jealous!”

“Yes, I was! And I’m proud enough to admit it.”

Buffy opened her mouth, then she closed it again. He was jealous? Why? He had Drusilla back so did it matter who she danced with?

“You were jealous?” She asked in a barley audible voice. Spike had kept his gaze at the moon since he had admitted that he also was jealous and Buffy started to become frustrated when he didn’t answer. “But why? I mean, you’ve got Drusilla back you shouldn’t care about what a friend thinks and – “

She didn’t have time to finish the sentence before Spike had crushed his mouth to hers. Buffy let out a gasp in surprise and struggled for a few seconds before giving in. His mouth moved over hers, nipping at her lip as he brought his hand up to her hair and let his finger’s entwine in it. He moaned when she opened her mouth to him and released one of his hands from her hair and let it travel down her waist to bring her closer to him. Oh god, how could I have resisted this? Buffy thought. She felt as if she never wanted to let go, but soon breathing became an issue and they were forced to break apart, both panting for air. Spike rested his forehead against hers and let the hand in her hair drop, but he still kept the other around her waist.

Buffy gasped for air with her eyes closed. That was the most incredible kiss she had ever experienced, so why did she feel so… guilty? Oh, yeah, right –

“Drusilla,” she whispered and Spike couldn’t suppress a chuckle as he touched her cheek.

“I’m touched, you remembered my name.”

Buffy pulled back and nearly whimpered at the loss of contact. “I’m serious,” she said, eyeing him and he sighed.

“What about her?”

“You’re back together with her, you can’t just go and kiss anyone you want. I don’t know if you remembered but since you’re not single anymore you haven’t got the – “

Spike shook his head and put up his hand to stop her. “Wait. What?”

“You can’t just go kissing everyone, you could do that when you were single but – “

“No, no. Not that. The Drusilla part.”

“You two back together?” She asked clearly confused and Spike’s eyes widened.

“That’s it!” He exclaimed.

Buffy jumped at his sudden outburst. “Huh?”

“Us. Me and Dru getting back together.”

“Yeah, what about it? You wanted to tell me or what because I already knew and –“

Spike suddenly started to laugh and Buffy’s face crumbled into a glare. “What now?” She snapped, annoyed with him for being so light hearted about this.

“You,” he laughed, “thought we were back together? Me and Dru?”

“Yeah…” She said, tentatively and Spike just shook his head before becoming serious.

“Buffy.” His eyes fell on her hands and he took them in his. “I. Am not. Back. With. Dru.”

“What? Oh, come on, Spike!” Buffy exclaimed, dragging her hands away from his. “I saw you. Don’t deny it.”

Spike took a hold of her hands once again, trying to make her understand. “I am not. I can’t believe after all I told you about her you would think I’d even want to date her again? Have you been listening? She’s a lying, cheating – “

“But you loved her. Maybe you still do,” Buffy said, feeling her heart clench. Here it would come, the truth. But she was surprised.

“No. Well, yes, I did but not anymore.”

Spike didn’t say anything, he waited for Buffy to answer him but she just stared as if not believing him. “I’m not being the other woman, Spike,” she said in a menacing voice and Spike let out frustrated growl.

“Haven’t I told you? I’m not seeing Drusilla!”

Once again she was quiet for a few moments. “I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I.”

Buffy glanced at him suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

He shook his head, clenching his jaw while his eyes glanced out the window. “You’re unbelievable, Summers.” His fiery eyes snapped back to Buffy. ”Seriously! What have I been trying to tell you the last bloody minutes? I thought I made it clear that I do not want to go back to Drusilla! She’s just there to see whether I have moved on or not and – “

“And have you?”

For what felt like the hundredth time Spike sighed. “Again, thought I made that clear. She’s weird, Drusilla. She likes to test people and that’s exactly what she’s doing now. As for before… You must’ve walked in just when she started that testing thing. She wants to see if I’m still interested and I threw her out. If you don’t believe me, ask Xander! Ask Gunn, ask – “

“Spike?”

Spike stopped his rambling his hands frozen in a counting gesture as he glanced at Buffy. “Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Then she kissed him.


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Chapter 21 - With You

None of them knew for how long they stayed in the car, locked in a passionate kiss. After all, time didn’t really matter at the moment. All Buffy cared about right now was the soft touch of Spike’s lips against hers, his strong hands holding her to him… And the gear shifter that was currently pressing into her thigh that she was sure would be bruised tomorrow, but she let herself forget about it for now.

Suddenly realisation hit her. This was what she had been looking for, what she once had thought Angel was. The safeness Spike was giving her. She trusted him more than she ever thought she would’ve.

Spike too, was in deep thoughts but he didn’t let that stop him from kissing the girl he had been longing to kiss and to hold. He knew that when he kissed her the first time they weren’t ready, they had only known each other for a few days then and the kiss had been more of a comforting kind than this one was. He was determined to show Buffy, whom had come to mean so much to him, that she really was more than a fling, and that he wasn’t the person she first thought he was. He did that by trying to put every emotion in the kiss and the embrace.

And he did it good. Buffy responded the kiss as eagerly as Spike did. Her soft moans filled the car as Spike’s hand came to rest at her lower back and their tongues came into play. Buffy’s eyes were closed when they broke apart from the kiss to catch their breaths and Spike placed kisses down her neck.

“Spike,” she whispered and he barley mumbled a response. “Spike, we – “

Whatever she was going to say was silenced by his lips that attacked hers once again and she put her arms around his neck to draw him closer.

Suddenly, images of them in the backseat of the car flew through her mind and she pulled back. Spike seemed to be thinking about what just happened before he took a deep breath, trying to calm his irregular breaths, or well, more like pants.

“What… Are you okay?” He asked in a hoarse voice. Buffy licked her lips and nodded in response, averting her eyes from him for a few seconds to gather her thoughts.

Spike began to be worried when she showed no sign of saying something and all insecurity came crashing down on him in an instant. “You-you don’t regret this, do you?”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to meet his and she shook her head no. Spike’s shoulders sagged in relief, but his worry wasn’t over yet. “Then… What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said, her voice still coming out in short gasps before casting her eyes downward and biting her lip. Spike’s brows knit together and Buffy became aware of that Spike was really nervous, considering how he kept trying to find something to say. His mouth opened, and closed, opened and closed… She took a breath before continuing in a hesitant voice. “I just… I think we need to stop.”

Spike nodded, his eyes not meeting hers. “I see…”

A frown showed up on Buffy’s face as she studied him and realized he must have misunderstood the meaning of it. “No, Spike, I… I just meant…” A small smile played on her lips. “We’re going to end up doing something we shouldn’t if we don’t stop now.”

Spike let out a breath and chuckled. “Ah, I see what you mean.” They kept looking at each other, smiling and not breaking eye contact when Spike leant forward to caress her cheek with his hand.

“So you don’t regret this?” He whispered.

“No,” Buffy answered softly while shaking her head. The smile came back to Spike’s lips and he left a soft kiss on her lips before pulling away.

“Good. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had,” he murmured sadly. He glanced at the clock and let out a sigh. “It’s almost one in the morning.”

Buffy’s followed his eyes towards the clock and nodded, feeling a bit disappointed. “Yeah. I should probably leave.”

“Come to practice tomorrow,” Spike blurted out and then chuckled at his desperate plea. “If you want to, that is. We could spend some time together afterwards.”

“I’d love to,” she smiled. Just watching her for a few moments he couldn’t help but smile. This night had sure taken an unexpected turn of event.

Angling his head slightly, he dipped down and touched his mouth to hers in a tender kiss. Great, now I won’t be able to leave at all, Buffy smiled to herself but Spike broke away before the kiss escaladed to something else and rested his forehead against hers.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Buffy said without really moving away from him.

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” he replied. Another quiet moment passed before Buffy laughed slightly.

“I’m going now.”

“I can see that.”

Buffy placed a quick kiss on his lips before pulling back and opening the door. Waving a goodbye she started to walk to her house, digging for her keys in her purse. When she finally found them and had put the key into the lock, she turned around only to find Spike’s car still standing at the street and she laughed before waving a last goodbye which he answered, she closed the door and leant against it with the biggest smile one her face.

---

Next day, Buffy was sitting at her usual spot a few yards away from the hardworking kids and their coach. She was amazed by how serious these young kids took their training and how well they turned out to do it. She had never had that kind of interest in any sport, sure she had gone ice-skating when she was a kid but she never really got into it and quit when she was ten, something she regretted now, seeing the happy faces of the kids in the water. For them, it was only the board, the waves and Spike’s voice that mattered.

Buffy glanced at Spike just in time to have him look at her. A blush crept up her cheeks and she gave him a smile. He smirked in return and Buffy felt her stomach do flip flops. Every time she looked at him after last night’s encounter she couldn’t help but blush furiously.

Well, that wasn’t too weird, was it? Considering what could’ve happened if they hadn’t stopped in time. She would probably have to call Cordy later and tell her she was right… Or she could just skip it, it wouldn’t hurt Cordelia Chase ego if she didn’t know just yet.

Buffy was drawn back to reality when she heard Spike scream some instructions to his students and she let her eyes fall on Connor who was currently trying a new trick. Spike had been happily surprised to see him back so soon after what happened a few days ago. He seemed more determined now, Buffy noted, more self-confident than he had before. She guessed, by the way his earlier so called friends patted him on the back and gave him encouraging smiles, that they had talked to him and finally made peace.

“All right, time’s up. Time to go home,” Spike yelled to make sure his voice wasn’t drowned by the crashing waves.

Buffy smiled when she heard the moans from the kids and the protests. ‘Oh, come on. We’re just getting started…’, ‘I need to practise some more!’

Spike shook his head. “Nope, you’ll have to wait until Wednesday. Great job everyone! Next time you’ll have more time to understand how it works. Connor,” he said, and the boy stopped, “can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” he nodded. Spike waited until the rest of the kids were gone before putting his hands at his hips and giving him a great smile.

“You’re doing great.”

“Thanks,” he grinned. “I really tried to get a grip on this new trick and I almost did, I just need to practise a little bit more.”

“That’s great, Connor. I’m glad you’re back, up at the horse or whatever,” he added with a smile. “And you seem to get along quite well with the other guys.”

He nodded in the direction Ryan and the others had gone and Connor followed his gaze. “Yeah, I think they felt pretty bad about what happened. Especially Ryan, they have been nothing but supportive. We’re going out tonight actually.”

“Well, I hope you will have a great time then,” Spike said, patting his shoulder. “I’ll see you on Wednesday yeah?”

“You bet. See ya!”

Connor waved at Spike and then gave Buffy a wink before setting off towards his friends. Buffy took the opportunity to get over to Spike. He met her halfway and smiled at her.

“Hi, pet.”

“Hello, Spike,” she said, suddenly feeling that this was pretty awkward. She bit her lip and glanced down at the sand. “So…”

“So…” He repeated, scratching the back of his neck. The silence fell and Buffy couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh.

“Well, this is….”

“… interesting,” Spike filled in and Buffy nodded with a raised eyebrow. Giving himself a mental shake, he sighed and smiled a smile that seemed so much like an insecure little boy’s one. “I missed you.”

The blush, once again, made itself known on her cheeks. “Me too,” she murmured, licking her lips.

Spike let out a sigh and clenched his jaw. “Sod it,” he said and Buffy looked up in shock, just in time to see him step forward and wrap his arms around her form before crushing her mouth with his.

Buffy let out a little yelp but soon found herself kissing him back as eagerly. She placed her arms around his neck to keep steady. Deciding to take the initiative, Buffy forced her tongue into his mouth to deepen the kiss. Spike let out a groan and Buffy couldn’t help but smile to herself.

A few moments later they pulled away to catch their breaths. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he mumbled, unable to keep the chuckle away.

“Didn’t mind, did I?” Buffy grinned. “Someone had to take the initiative.”

“Good,” Spike answered her, glancing at her already swollen lips. He smiled at her. “I hope it’s okay if I might take the initiative again.”

“Maybe you don’t have to,” Buffy beamed at him with a devilish smile and was just about to let her lips touch his when an ear piercing sound broke them apart.

Spike sighed and cursed the damn phone for interrupting the moment between them. Buffy looked at him sheepishly. “You take it,” she told him and gave him an understanding smile.

“It’ll be quick,” he said to her before answering the phone with a much less soft voice. “What?”

“Spike, it’s Willow.”

“Hey, Red,” Spike answered with a slight frown. Willow wasn’t usually one for calling him; she generally wanted to talk to him face to face. “What’s up?”

“Have you seen Lily?”

Spike stopped doing whatever he was doing, all the worry coming back to him. He was silent for a few moments before answering with a serious voice. “No. No I haven’t. Why are you asking? Did something happen?”

Willow sounded genuinely worried. “I don’t know, Spike. I was supposed to meet the kids in my class today in the park beside the school to have a little picnic, like a pre school talk, and tell them a few things about the courses and so on, you know the drill.”

“She didn’t show up?” Spike said although he already knew the answer. Buffy glanced at him and she seemed to understand what he was talking about as she bit her lip.

“No, she didn’t. And I wouldn’t be worried if I hadn’t said this was an obligatory meeting, I mean it is their summer break right now but… Lily is a serious hardworking girl, she’d come if it involved school, I just know it.” She broke off and let out a sigh. “Spike, I think something is wrong. Not one of the girls in the class have seen her in a couple of days.”

“She wasn’t at practice,” Spike told her and Willow became quiet for a few more seconds. When she finally spoke again her voice was low and fully serious.

“Spike…”

“I know, I thought so too. Something is up,” he said with a sigh, clenching his jaw. “She’s always coming to practice and if she doesn’t she always calls in sick before it begins.”

“I’m at work and I don’t get off for a few more hours,” Willow continued, “but I just can’t stop thinking about her. Do you think you could go to her house? See if everything is all right?”

She didn’t have to ask twice. Spike was already fishing up his car keys and gesturing to Buffy to go towards the car. “I’m on my way.”

“Please, call me when you see her,” Willow pleaded. Spike nodded even though she couldn’t see him as he sat down in the front seat of his car and started the engine.

“I promise.”

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There's a minor warning here about child abuse, but it's not too intense. Just thought I'd let you know. Please review!


Chapter 22 - The Rescue

“Do you think they might be out of town?” Buffy asked Spike twenty minutes later as they were standing outside the door of Lily’s house. They had knocked more than five times and there still was no answer.

Spike shook his head with a deep frown on his face. “I don’t think so. She would’ve said something about it.”

“But maybe they decided to go this morning,” Buffy tried, not really believing herself, “maybe they had to leave in such a hurry that they…” Buffy trailed off when her eyes landed on the car that was parked a few yards away from them. Spike followed her gaze and nodded.

“They’re home all right.”

“Just because the car is standing here doesn’t mean that they really are home. They could’ve gone shopping. Walked,” she clarified before shaking her head. “Oh, I don’t know.”

Spike’s eyes searched for a sign that they might be home, maybe a shining lamp… An open window? But he saw nothing. The curtains were drawn and there wasn’t a chance they could see what was going on inside. He let out a sigh and had to admit that this wasn’t going anywhere.

“What do you say about coming back later?” He asked Buffy. She nodded but couldn’t resist one more knock on the door.

“We could come back in an hour or – “

“I’m coming, I’m coming! God, what’s your problem…”

Buffy and Spike froze and quickly glanced at each other before the door was flung open by Mr. Simmons himself. Buffy wrinkled her nose at the smell of alcohol coming from him and took in his clothing. He was dressed in a pair of old worn pyjama pants and a shirt with small yellow spots on it which Buffy thought must be from spilled bear. By the way he was clinging to the door, she was sure this man was not sober. His eyes looked red and fiery but softened a bit when he saw the couple standing in front of him.

“Oh, hello. I’m sorry about that. I was asleep and there’s been some bloody salesmen here over and over again, thought you were them,” he smiled.

“Mr. Simmons,” Spike started, a frown settling on his face. “You do know that it’s almost three o’clock, don’t you?”

The man’s eyes suddenly changed back to the previous angry once and Buffy couldn’t help but take a small step back.

“Does that matter to you?”

“The reason why we’re here is that Lily wasn’t at practice today, we just wanted to make sure she was all right,” Spike said with a fake smile on his face and looked around the room as if expecting to see her standing there. The man went silent for a few seconds before answering.

“She is not feeling well.”

“Her teacher, Willow Rosenberg, also called me to let me know that she wasn’t at the meeting they were having. She was wondering why Lily wasn’t there.”

Mr. Simmons scoffed. “It’s her summer break, she shouldn’t have to go to school.”

“Well, this meeting was obligatory and Lily usually comes to these. She’s been trying to call but there was no answer. We just wanted to make sure she is okay.”

“She is. I’d let you in but she’s sleeping right now so that’s not a good idea. Come back another day.” He tried to close the door but Spike was quickly putting a hand on the door frame to prevent it from being closed. He glared at Spike.

“I said; come back another day. Lily is asleep.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Simmons, but somehow I’m guessing that’s not the truth.”

Buffy saw how the older man’s face changed again. Was that fear in his eyes? She didn’t have time to tell before it was gone and the anger was back, his cheeks started to take a shade of red as if he was straining to the very point of exhaustion.

“How dare you…”

“If Lily is sick, as you say, then why are you sitting in front of the tv with a bear?” Spike let out before Mr. Simmons had a chance to object. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it quickly and turned his head towards the living room. The flashes from the TV danced on the floor and Buffy saw how he clenched his jaw. “Shouldn’t you be checking your daughter?”

“You cannot tell me what to do,” he snapped. “If I want to watch some TV, I will and if I want to have an early drink I bloody well will do that, too.”

Spike raised his eyebrows and once again let his eyes glance past his shoulder into the living room where they could see not one but five empty bottles of beer and also a half empty bottle of vodka standing on the floor.

“You call that one early drink?”

Mr. Simmons averted his eyes from Spike, but the anger didn’t cease. “It’s none of your damn business what I drink!”

“It is, when I think something is wrong with one of my students!” Spike clarified his voice dangerously steady. The man scoffed in response.

“Why in hell do you care about that little brat? She’s nothing but a pain in the ass, I’ll tell you.”

Mr. Simmons regretted the words right after they left his mouth when he saw Spike’s eyes narrow and he lunched forward and grabbed the man by the lapels of his shabby shirt. “Why do I keep thinking that Lily is not feeling that well?”

“Let go of me,” Mr. Simmons breathed out, obviously in fear but also in anger at being told what to do by a much younger man. “Get out of my house before I’ll call the police!”

“I’d like to see you try,” Spike almost smirked. “What do you think they’d say when they find your sick daughter in the house and her obviously very drunk father?”

Mr. Simmons tried to get out of Spike’s grip but he only grabbed him harder and pushed him inside the hallway into one of the walls. Lily’s father let out a yelp when his back hit the wall with a thud. “What the hell are you doing?” He screamed at him and once again tried to wrestle out of Spike’s hands. “Let go of me!”

Mr. Simmons, who really was a bigger man than Spike, would if he had been in a much different state been able to push him away. But not being near sober made Spike take the advantage of the situation. As much as Mr. Simmons struggled he was not able to get himself free from the blonde man.

“Buffy,” Spike called out, not letting his eyes leave the struggling man in front of him, “go and check upstairs if Lily is there.”

“She’s sleeping!” Mr. Simmons cried out. “Don’t you dare wake her up!”

Buffy, who had been standing at the entrance all the time in shock shook out of it and ignored the threatening calls from the owner of the house as she made her way up the stairs. Her legs were shaking, she felt like she was breaking into someone’s house and technically – she did. But this was necessary, she knew it.

It was a pretty small house but that didn’t mean she knew were Lily could be, she didn’t even know if Spike was right. What would happen if it turned out that they’d been wrong all the way? Mr. Simmons would never forget it.

Fear filled her as she walked down the corridors of doors. She checked the bathroom that looked more like a room filled with garbage. The stank made Buffy quickly close the door and she continued to check the other rooms.

What she presumed was the oldest Simmons’s room looked like hell and she didn’t feel a lot better when she saw the numerous bottles of alcohol and a mysterious needle lying on the table beside the bed.

With a sharp intake of breath, she closed the door and let her eyes wander around the corridor. One door left. This one had to be Lily’s. Suddenly Buffy felt all her courage run away from her and all she wanted was to flee, flee from what might meet her eyes behind that door. But the worry for the poor little girl made her think differently. She gulped and walked over to the door. Carefully she reached for the doorknob and slowly opened it.

The room was black and it took her eyes a few seconds to get used to the dark surroundings. She made out a few furniture but no Lily. She traced the wall to find the light switch, still looking around the room in a search for the girl.

“Lily?” She whispered softly, so quiet she barley heard herself speak.

There was no response.

Buffy felt her hope fade and where the hell was that damn lamp? Angrily smashing her hand against the wall she almost jumped when she heard a little voice.

“Please, don’t…”

Buffy barley dared to breath. It sure was Lily’s voice and it sounded terrified.

“I-I promise I w-won’t…” She continued and Buffy tried to make out where the sound came from. Desperate to find the light switch she searched with both her hands over the wall.

“Lily?” She said again, higher this time.

“Please, Dad, I won’t…”

“Lily!” Buffy said sharper to let her know it wasn’t her dad. “It’s me. Buffy.”

Nothing but Buffy’s hands searching the wall was heard from the room before Lily let out a heart aching sob. “Buffy?”

“There!” Buffy cried out when she finally found the switcher, but the triumph of finding it didn’t last long – as soon as her eyes found the figure in front of her, she gasped and put her hands over her mouth. The sight made her want to cry.

Lily was placed on the bed, her head turned towards her with heavy eyelids. Her left cheekbone had taken a shade of purple, her lower lip was split and her right eye was covered in a bruise, the color similar to the one on her cheek.

Buffy slowly moved forwards, fearing that this was not all. The young girl tried to sit up in the bed but flinched and made a face of agony. Buffy quickly put a hand up to stop her. “Don’t, lie still, Lily. We will get you some help,” she told her softly and sat down on the floor in front of her. Lily relaxed a bit and let her head rest on the pillow as a single tear rolled down her bruised cheek.

Buffy gulped and carefully let a hand touch her hair. She felt her heart clench when the wounded girl flinched. “It will be okay, honey. We’ll get you out of here.”

“We?” Lily whispered softly, her voice cracking with emotion.

“Spike is here too,” she told her and that made her remember. “I’ll get him upstairs and then I will be back in here, okay?”

Lily barley nodded and closed her eyes. Buffy backed out of the room and called out for him. “Spike! Spike get up here!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Downstairs, Spike whipped his head around towards the stairs when he heard Buffy’s obviously scared voice calling for him. He clenched his jaw and turned his eyes back to the man in front of him.

“I take it she’s not all right,” he whispered although the menacing tone in his voice was still there. Mr. Simmons swallowed, trying to back into the wall, away from Spike.

“Spike!” Buffy’s cry was higher and more panicked this time. He glanced at the stair again, and back to Lily’s father. He was torn from beating this man to death and running to Lily. Buffy’s call was convincing enough and he let go of the man with a final glare.

“You will bloody well stay here,” he threatened but he knew that as soon as he was up the stairs Mr. Simmons would be out of that door. Right now though, he couldn’t care less. He’d find him and hunt him down for hurting Lily later. He ran up the stairs and got the second most scaring experience of his life when he saw Lily’s crumpled form on the bed.

Chapter 23 - Injured

Those hospital visits was becoming way too regular for Buffy’s liking.

In just a few days, she and Spike had been spending several hours at the same hospital – as worried each time. It reminded Buffy of the time when her mother had had a brain tumor. The visits in and out of the hospital made her crazy. She was barley twenty and had to act like she was much older. It was hard, but her mom made it through.

But since then, Buffy had developed a not too friendly feeling towards hospitals that made her even now, five years later, feeling very uncomfortable.

Spike sat beside her, ironically, in the same chair they had been sitting in the last time they were there and the feelings were pretty much the same. She didn’t know how Spike felt exactly but by the way he kept clasping his hands together tightly she assumed he was as nervous as she was.

Deciding to try and comfort him she put her hand over his and he froze his clasp and unclasp movements. Buffy took one of his hands in her and squeezed it gently. She felt that his hands were cold as she traced the length of his hand with her fingers. He smiled sadly at her.

“I’m sorry for bringing you into this,” he told her and Buffy frowned.

“Stop making excuses, Spike. If I didn’t want to be here I probably wouldn’t. But I am.” Spike glanced down at their entwined hands. “Isn’t that telling you something?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah. It is.” He bit his lip and decided to change the subject. “How long since the doctor was out here?”

Buffy glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. “Twenty minutes. They’re still doing the examination.”

“I hate waiting,” Spike complained and Buffy could do nothing but agree. This was hell, sitting and waiting. Imagining the worst scenario…

The way to the hospital had been horrible. Buffy’s heart beat so fast she thought it was something wrong when Spike had carried Lily out to his car and driven off to the hospital. Buffy had been placed in the backseat with Lily in her arms, whispering comforting words to the barley conscious girl. Buffy hadn’t had the heart to ask her what happened, not when she just got away from the horrible place that was her home.

That was probably a good thing, she thought with a sight. As much as she wanted to know what happened back there to be able to help her and get Mr. Simmons in jail, it was better to let it be.

Buffy glanced up just in time to see the doctor coming towards them. She nudged Spike in the side and he snapped his head up. As the doctor approached them with that special comforting smile they stood up.

“Are you relatives of Lily Simmons?” The doctor asked.

Buffy looked at Spike who seemed to think it over for a moment before shaking his head. “No. I’m… I’m her teacher.”

The doctor nodded understanding. “Have you tried to contact her parents?”

Spike couldn’t help but let out a little scoff. The doctor raised a questioning eyebrow in response.

“Don’t think so, doc. Her father was the one who did this to her,” Spike explained.

The doctor with the nametag Anne Burke’s eyes widened as she took in the information. “Has this been confirmed? Are you sure that it was her father who did this?”

Spike nodded before stopping, glancing at Buffy for a second. Truth to be told, they couldn’t know for certain if it really had been Mr. Simmons who hurt Lily. After all, they had no evidence until Lily told them her side of the story and it wasn’t sure that that would be proof enough either.

“Well…” Spike began. “We think so. Mr. Simmons he… He was acting really strange and didn’t want us to visit Lily. He ran away when he got the chance.”

Anne Burke nodded and seemed to think it over for a moment. She scratched her eyebrow before speaking. “Have you contacted the police? Otherwise we need you to make a report.”

“I called the police on the way over here,” Buffy told her. “It has already been taken care of. What about Lily?” She continued, really wanting to know now about Lily. She didn’t care about the childish impatient turn her voice took.

“Lily will be fine, but she’s in pain though,” she continued before Spike and Buffy had a chance to interrupt her. “She’s been through a lot and she’s tired, she’s been given some morphine to help her get some rest.”

Spike swallowed, trying to find the right words as he crossed his hands over his chest. “Is… will the… The wounds – “

He was at loss of words but Anne seemed to see the problem and answered him. “She has a broken leg and a lot of cuts over her body. The wounds will heal eventually,” she continued, “Although, my guess would be that this does not end after her wounds have healed. She’ll be scarred from the events, whatever happened to her, and I’d suggest her to go in therapy.”

“Will that help?” Buffy asked and the doctor.

“Probably, at least it will help her into the right direction. Lily is still so young.”

“Was she…” Buffy started but found it hard to say the words and shifted uncomfortable from foot to foot. “Do you know if she – “

Once again, Dr. Burke saw their troubled faces and answered the question with a shake of her head. “No. There is no sign on sexual assault.”

Buffy glanced at Spike as her shoulders sagged in relief. “When can we see her?”

“We want her to get some sleep before she will be up for visitors but I’ll inform you when she is awake. Though, I have to ask you,” Dr. Burke said getting closer and clutching the paperboard to her chest. “Was it her father only or do you know if the mother was involved?”

Buffy let Spike answer that question since she didn’t even know if Lily’s mother was still in the picture.

Spike shook his head. “No. I think Lily mentioned at some point that her mother left a few years ago. From what I know of she hasn’t been in any kind of contact with her since.”

Dr. Burke nodded. “Since she is her legal guardian after all, I’d like to get in touch with her to inform her what happened here. Do you know where we could get in touch with her?”

“I’m sorry, no,” Spike said before coming up with an idea. “But I do know she has an aunt, on the mother’s side living nearby. I could try to contact her.”

“Thank you,” the doctor smiled. “That would be great.”

---

Although, that seemed to be a harder task than they had thought. The aunt, who’s name was Maggie Evans, had a unlisted number and none of the persons Spike called had it.

After several calls, hours later they were just about to give up when a cousin to Maggie called Spike. Apparently, the cousin had heard from another relative that a certain William Giles was searching for the number of Maggie Evans.

The triumph of finding the aunt didn’t last long though.

She told them that she had no contact with her sister since she left her family four years ago. No number, no address… Nothing. The mother of Lily was nowhere to be found.

Spike had to tell her what was wrong with Lily and the aunt was in deep shock to hear about Mr. Simmons who had always been so at ease, kind and loving according to Maggie.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Maggie asked, still overwhelmed by the news about her niece.

“Not from what I know of right now, thank you, Mrs. Evans,” Spike told her. “I appreciate your help, the doctor just wanted to inform your sister about her daughter’s condition and get her a place to live at but as it seems right now even if she would’ve been here, she wouldn’t be offering it, would she?”

Maggie let out a long sigh. “I’m afraid I have to tell you no. My old sister would never have done this, but I don’t know the new one. But I promise you that I will try to contact her if I get the chance. I give you my word.”

Spike smiled slightly. “Thank you. Well, I should get in touch with the doctor and tell her about the situation…”

“Wait!” The aunt called out. “Where is the poor girl going to live?”

Spike sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I guess she will be staying at the hospital for a few days but after that I don’t know.”

“She could stay at my house,” Maggie offered. “It’s small, very small, but if it’s just for a while I’ll be able to give her a place to live.”

“I think Lily would appreciate that,” Spike said. “I’ll get back to you.”

“No need to, I’m on my way to the hospital right now.”

“Good, I’ll see you then.”

Spike disconnected the call and sat down on one of the chairs with a long sigh. Spike leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. “What a mess…”

“I second that.”

Spike looked up to see Buffy standing in front of him with two cups of the incredibly horrible coffee the hospital offered. He couldn’t help but let the corner of his lips twitch up at the sight of her. Buffy returned the smile and sat down beside him.

“No luck?” She asked as she gave him the cop.

He took his and shook his head. “No sign of the mother, but the aunt offered to take care of Lily for a while. She’s on her way over here.”

“Good,” Buffy said, then she leant back in the chair with a frown settled on her face. “I still can’t believe Mr. Simmons did that to her. It’s unbelievable. I mean, what could the girl possibly have done?”

“I have no idea, but if the man was on drugs and drunk on top of it…”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, but still… He seemed to show no remorse at all. What was he going to do? Let her stay in her room until the wounds had healed? Until she could walk again?”

Buffy’s temper was rising as she thought about the man in question. She could not understand how anyone could do that, especially not to his own child. She felt her heart ache for the pain the girl was going through as she shook her head.

“It’s unbelievable…“

“It’s touching you care so much about her,” Spike said, offering her a small smile which she couldn’t deny.

“Well, of course,” Buffy said, thinking it was obvious she cared for her. Not only because she worked with children her age and older, but that she had come to like the girl so much. “I care about her.”

“I don’t know many people who’d do so much to help a person they’ve barley met. You’re incredible, you know that?”

Buffy felt herself blush and let her eyes fall to her feet before smiling. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she mumbled. “But I’ve already told you that.”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Yeah, you have.”

He leant forward, the smile still plastered on his face, and was just about to touch her lips with his when they were interrupted by a voice in front of them. They broke apart in embarrassment as they noticed Dr. Burke standing in front of them.

She couldn’t help but let a small smirk appear on her lips at the sight in front of her. “I just wanted to let you know that Lily is awake.”

The couple’s eyes widened as they stood up. “Can we see her?” They asked at the same time and let exchanged an amused smile.

“She wants to see you both,” Dr. Burke told them. “Follow me.”

---

Lily had been freshened up by a nurse and she looked a lot better now than she had when Buffy found her in the bed. She still had cuts and wounds over her face and also on her arms though. It didn’t look as bad as it had once at least.

Her eyes were tired and her eyelids were swollen and covering the most of her eyes. But when they walked inside the room a smile lit up on her face and Buffy felt her heart flutter a the small gesture.

None of them brought up the subject about her dad, not what he had done or not done… Not until the Spike’s cell phone started to ring anyway. He frowned at the unknown ID that was shown on the display.

“William Giles?” A voice asked.

“Yeah, that’s me. Who’s this?”

“My name is Officer Atherton,” the man said and Spike’s eyes widened. He stood up and made an excusing look towards Buffy as he made his way out of the room.

“What can I do for you, Officer?” Spike asked, his voice almost trembling.

“A Miss Buffy Summer called earlier on this number and reported Tony Simmons for abusing his daughter, is that right?”

“Yeah,” Spike mumbled. “She did.”

“I thought I’d let you know that we caught him, just a few miles away. He was driving apparently drunk and we suspect he is affected by drugs. Mr. Simmons is now on his way to custody.”

Spike threw a look through the window into Lily’s room and caught the picture of the girl, lying in the bed with Buffy sitting beside her and breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Hope you feel like Spike is right now :) Please review and let me know what you think :)

Chapter 24 - Aftermath

“Buffy!”

Buffy turned around as she heard her name being called. A smile lit up her face when she saw the owner of the voice.

“Hello, Spike,” she greeted him as he came running closer. He was dressed in his dark blue bathing trunks with bare chest and Buffy could only enjoy the view of his muscular chest. But soon, her eyes were drawn to his face, to his blue eyes and the smile only became broader.

Spike grinned at her and mumbled a ‘hello’ before leaning forward and giving her a soft kiss. He broke away before it could escalade to something more since they, after all, were standing right in the middle of a parking lot. Instead he wrapped two strong arms around her and brought her closer to him. Buffy rested her hands against his chest as he glanced at her.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, slightly tilting her head. Spike couldn’t help but chuckle as he put a stray of hair behind her ear.

“What, you don’t want me here?”

Her eyes widened. “No! No, that’s not what I meant. I – “ One look into his eyes and all the tension she felt about his misunderstanding was gone as she saw the amused look in there. She let out an annoyed sigh and shook her head. But the smile that kept tugging on her lips was too strong and soon she was laughing.

“You’re mean,” she pouted. Seeing the pout that was playing on her bottom lip, Spike felt his heart swell and he was almost overwhelmed by what he felt for this girl he’d come to know during the last few weeks.

“You know it,” he smirked and placed a gentle kiss on her lips that promised so much more.

“You’re avoiding the question,” she continued, “why you’re here I mean.”

“’m surfing with the guys. Xander and Gunn,” he explained further when he saw her questioning gaze. “I’m meeting them here in a few minutes.”

“What about Wesley?” Buffy asked, wondering why the last member of the band wasn’t mentioned. Spike let out a chuckle.

“I’d like to see Wesley even get near the water, love. He’s terrified of getting soaked.”

Buffy glared at him a little. “Aren’t you a little mean to your cousin?”

“No more than he can take,” Spike answered. “So, what are you doing here then? Looking for someone maybe?”

She slapped him playfully across the chest with a smirk of her own. “You’re so full of yourself, Spike Giles. But no, as a matter of fact I was having a nice walk by the beach. As for the meeting someone part, I would just be lucky if I did, but no it wasn’t my intention.”

Buffy had to suppress a laugh when she saw him pout. “Aw, poor Spikey,” she teased, “did I hurt your ego?”

“Very much, think I need a kiss to recover.”

“Oh, you think?”

“Yep,” he said stubbornly with the look of a five year old boy that Buffy couldn’t resist. Shaking her head in amusement she touched his lips with hers. She let out a soft moan when she felt his teeth nip lightly at the swell of her bottom lip and Buffy closed her arms around his neck. Suddenly the moment was broken by someone clearing his throat behind them.

“Ahem, excuse me.”

Spike let out a little growl and let his forehead fall to Buffy’s neck. “Always the best bloody timing…” he cursed at the same time another voice let out a whistle.

“Man, that’s the girl that’s been keeping our lead singer away? Well, I have to say you’re excused.”

Spike pulled himself off Buffy with heavy movements and turned to look at his two friends with a glare that would kill. Xander wiggled his eyebrows and Gunn had a goofy smirk on his lips before he stepped forward and reached out a hand towards Buffy. “I’m Gunn, I believe we’ve met once but we didn’t really have time to say hello then.”

“Ah, that time,” Buffy said, blushing as she remembered how she rushed past Xander and Gunn in the corridor at the Wicca, after believing Spike were back together with Drusilla. “That’s something I’d most likely want to forget. Nice to meet you, anyway,” she smiled.

“You gonna surf with us?” Gunn asked.

Buffy shook her head. “No, I was just out for a walk when I ran into Spike here.”

Gunn exchanged a look with Xander before raising his eyebrows. ”Ah… Running into, I see.”

Spike let out a sigh. “All right, that’s enough. You two go, I’ll be with you in a sec.” He turned back to Buffy and gave her a ‘please-don’t-hate-me-for-having-extremely-immature-stupid-friends’ look. Buffy laughed.

“You go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I have an idea,” Spike said, grabbing her arm. “Me and the guys were planning on going out tonight, Willow and Tara’s arranged one of their own ‘Friday-night-dances’ or whatever they’re called. Anyway, they wanted us to come.”

“Sure, that’d be great,” Buffy said smiling. “We’ll meet there or – “

“I could pick you up,” Spike said as he seemed to think about something. He clasped his hands together with a smile. “Or you could stay here and we could go together afterwards.”

“But I need to change,” Buffy said, gesturing her hands towards her jogging clothes. Spike waved it away.

“That’s no problem. I’ll drive you home afterwards.”

Seeing her mouth open to object he couldn’t help but let out a little ‘please’. Buffy shook her head. “You know I can’t resist that look,” she murmured before sighing. “All right, I could always take a swim meanwhile.”

“Or we could borrow a board from the – “

“No!” Buffy let out quickly, putting up her hand in a stopping gesture. “I think I’m done surfing,” she grinned.

“Your will is my command.”
* * * * * * * *
Buffy watched the three guys along with a lot of other people out in the water. She had just taken a swim and was now sitting with Spike’s towel wrapped around herself. It smelled like him and she couldn’t help but sniffle a little at it. She was surprised she didn’t even panic a little when Xander and Gunn saw them; she surprised herself actually. And, Spike didn’t seem to mind that they knew about their relationship, whatever it really was. She didn’t know that just yet.

It had been three days since Lily was driven to the hospital and she was now living with her aunt Maggie. Her wounds had started to heal but as the doctor though – it would take a lot longer for her to recover and she was not talking about the wounds.

After Mr. Simmons had been arrested and the police had arrived at the hospital, Lily had finally begun to tell them about what had happened. Buffy and Spike hadn’t left the room and soon after the police had showed up, Willow and Tara arrived to support her.

Apparently, Lily had been on her way out five days ago – the day it happened. Tony Simmons objected, from Lily’s point of view she could see he was drunk and probably high. He was acting strange, well stranger than usual as she put it. When Lily had tried to get out without his permission he snapped and grabbed her hard, sending her sprawling over the floor.

Mr. Simmons had screamed at her, telling her how useless and selfish she was. That she was worth nothing, nothing to him and nothing to anyone else. They started to fight and in the end, Lily had said something he did not like and he slapped her across the face. She tried to fight against him but it had only made him angrier and in his drunken / high state – he had started to hit her. Until she was unconscious.

Lily told them she woke up in her bed, barley able to move and she didn’t dare to either. She had been lying there until Buffy and Spike had shown up.

At the end of the story, Buffy had been crying silently while holding the girl’s hand. The police had kept Mr. Simmons in arrest during the night and they still were until the trial would begin. He was most likely going to spend years in prison for abusing his child.

The relief Buffy and Spike was feeling couldn’t be described. They’d spent the day with Lily, talking and just spending some time with her. She seemed to appreciate it and it warmed their hearts.

She got to go home with her aunt the day after and Buffy knew that she was going to see a therapist sometime during this week. She was glad Lily had agreed on seeing one, because she knew that her life was never going to be the same again. At least it was going in the right direction now.

Buffy watched as Spike was surfing on the waves, his eyes concentrating on the wave only. Xander and Gunn were waiting in the next wave and were currently sitting on their boards. Buffy smiled. She felt so at home here – and even with Spike’s friends she had only met once or twice before. And Spike…

Buffy had been slightly worried that after what happened to Lily they would be back on square one again with their relationship but she had been unnecessarily worried all along. It had affected their relationship, but not in a bad way. On the contrary; it had brought them closer.

They had spent the night of the incident with Lily at their respective houses but the night after that they had been watching some movies together at Spike’s place. She had been seated in Spike’s arms the whole night, watching the movie and time to time breaking out of it to kiss and just relax.

The only thing that was bothering her was the fact that she wouldn’t stay in Cornwall forever.

That was something they hadn’t talked about at all. It was a subject they avoided, none of them too happy about brining it up. But I still got a few weeks left, Buffy thought shaking off the feeling of unease, we can deal with that later. Right now, I’ll just live in the moment. It will be nice to go out tonight.

Buffy noticed she had kept her gaze on the ground and as she mentally shook herself she glanced up to see Spike looking at her. The warm smile he sent her went directly to her heart and she could to nothing but smile back.

None of them noticed the man standing above Buffy on the cliffs hidden by some rocks with a camera in his hand, each moment taking picture after picture.

A/N: I know it was a short chapter, therefore I will update the day after tomorrow. This was a chapter that was needed for the story's plot. In next chapter you will find out what's gonna happen at the Wicca. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 25 - The Chase

“Wow, Willow. Is this really the Wicca?”

Buffy was looking around the pub, taking in the changes Willow and Tara had done to the place for this night. They had lightened up the whole place with beautiful colors and a lot of decors. The tables were nicely done and had a few candles standing on top of them. The scene wasn’t left unnoticed either and a band was now setting up their things for their gig later that night.

Buffy turned to glance at Willow who was looking more than thrilled and kind of proud. She had all right to be because everything they had done to the place must have cost a fortune.

“So I get your approval?” Willow asked, still glancing about the room, her hands on her hips.

“Most definitely,” Spike answered. “You’ve done a great job, Red.”

“See, sweetie, I told you they’d like it,” Tara said, coming up behind them with a box of things in her hands as she nudged Willow in the side. She turned back to Buffy and Spike. “Willow has been arranging things since this morning. She wanted it to be perfect.”

“Well, it’s not everyday this place turns two years,” Willow said, suddenly getting a dreamy and sentimental look over her face before waving it off. Then, her eyes fell on Buffy and Spike, or more their entwined hands. Her eyes widened and she let out a little squeal as she put her hands to her mouth. “Oh my god!”

Spike followed her gaze and couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. “You all right, Willow?”

“I…” She started before once again exclaiming; "Oh my friggin’ god! Tara, we did it!”

Willow turned to Tara who gave her a meaning look and Willow bit her lip. She smiled an innocent little smile. “Ooops...”

Spike only shook his head. He had suspected Willow and Tara had been trying to get them together but by Buffy’s shocked expression he guessed she did not. Buffy’s eyes were wide as a frown settled on her face. “W-what? What did I miss?” In question, she turned to Spike to get the answer to Willow’s weird behavior.

“I think our friends here have been playing match makers behind our backs,” he told her, trying to keep a serious expression on his face but failing miserably while he sneaked a hand around Buffy’s waist.

Buffy seemed to be thinking about for a few seconds before she looked back at Willow and Tara. “So when you invited us over to lunch it was to get us together?” Tara smiled sheepishly.

“Maybe,” she mumbled.

“I so knew this was gonna happen!” Willow continued and clapped her hands together in excitement. Buffy was sure that she would be jumping soon. The only thing she could do was shake her head in disbelief and smile.

“Unbelievable. Well, then I’ll have to thank you for that but to be honest, me and Spike did most of the work.”

“Pfft,” Willow scoffed and waved her off. “If it weren’t for us you two wouldn’t be standing here now.”

“Let her believe that, luv,” Spike whispered in her ear, loud enough for Willow to hear and offended she glared at them.

“Hey, I heard that!”

“Whoa, what do we have here?” Gunn exclaimed as he along with Xander, Fred, Anya and Wesley walked inside and joined the little group of people. “Nice work, my friends,” he said to Willow and Tara and Willow seemed to momentarily forget about her little argument when he commented her work.

Smiling brightly she rushed over to him and linked her arm with Gunn’s. “That’s so sweet!” She grinned. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

Tara shook her head. “Saved by an angel, huh?” She said. “Well, even if it wasn’t that obvious – she is happy for you and so am I,” she smiled. “Let’s get you a table, shall we?”

---

As the hours passed, more and more people showed up at the pub and it was almost full by nine o’clock. Buffy sat at a table along with Spike, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, Anya and Xander, having the time of her life. She had even been laughing so much her cheeks hurt.

What made this night the best though was Spike. She was now placed in the sofa along with Spike, a secure arm draped around her shoulder as she laugh at something Xander said.

Who would’ve known that when she left Sunnydale for a calm vacation she’d end up making some incredible new friends and one of them turning out to be everything she was looking for in a guy? It was amazing really that during the short time she’d spent in Cornwall, Buffy had come to like the place so much and a lot thanks to the people in the village. She couldn’t really understand how her life had been without them.

Sure, Cordelia Chase and Buffy Summers had been friends since high school but she was the only person Buffy really had in Sunnydale. And Riley. He was another friend from high school. Buffy and he had been friends until college came along and they started dating. They had been together for a few months when they realized they were just not working together. Sadly enough, it had destroyed their friendship and now they barley saw each other anymore. It was kind of sad that it was so awkward being around each other now days.

Buffy had met Riley and his fiancé Sam on the street when she was in Los Angeles for a weekend and as much as she pushed herself to be nice and pleasant to Sam and Riley, it had just been too awkward.

But those people here, they were so different. Not that I don’t love Cordy, she said to herself, but it is different here. They were just enjoying life and caring about each other. That’s the most important thing for these guys. She knew for a fact Spike at least would do anything for his friends, even for Wesley whom he didn’t get along with that well. They had a brotherly behavior to each other and used to fight over small things but with a twinkle in the eye.

Oh, she was enjoying her staying.

Buffy felt that someone was watching her and turned to the side, immediately knowing who was watching her. She met the sapphire eyes of Spike and smiled at him. He’d done so much for her and she hoped he understood how much that meant to her.

If it wasn’t for Spike she wouldn’t have made peace with her dad for example. She wouldn’t have met these people or gotten to know Lily and Connor.

Her father had been right. This was something special; not love. Well, not yet anyway, it was too early for that, she knew it. But it was something she wouldn’t be chasing away.

Suddenly Spike’s voice broke through to her. “What are you thinking about?” He asked in a quiet voice, letting their friends continue their talk.

Buffy tilted her head and glanced about the room. “Everything actually. Life, luck, friends…” She cocked her head to the side to get a glimpse of him and a smile tugged on her lips. “All happy things.”

“Good, I was a bit worried you were getting bored,” he said with a grin as the band on the stage started to play their songs. Their eyes wandered to the stage for a few seconds before Spike turned back to Buffy.

“Dance with me," he asked, as a slow song started to play. He reached out his hands to her and she met his eyes as she smiled and took it, the warmth from his hand spreading.

Slowly they started to walk towards the dance floor, oblivious to the stares and grins they got from the group at their table.

“Man, he’s screwed,” Gunn said, shaking his head as he turned around in his chair.

“I think they’re cute,” Fred said dreamingly. “And I like Buffy, they’re so perfect together.”

Wesley nodded as he watched his cousin wrap and arm around the blonde girl’s waist and pulling her to him. “I’m happy he’s over the freak he claimed to love.”

“He better not get back to his old behavior,” Xander murmured but Fred shook her head.

“He won’t. I just know it. I’ve known Spike for years, Xander. I just know that this is for real. He won’t ditch her next week. Look at him.” She nodded in the direction of the pair, which wasn’t really needed since they all had their eyes on them anyway. “He’s falling for her.”

“I really hope they’ll work things out,” Xander said. Fred frowned at him.

“Why wouldn’t they? I’m sure Spike will give her lots and lots of orgasms,” Anya said lightly.

“Anya!” Xander sighed, never getting used to his girlfriends blunt questions and statements. Anya looked at him in question.

“What? I’m sure he will!”

“I have to agree with Anya,” Fred said before widening her eyes. “Um, only not about the… orgasm part. Why wouldn’t they work things out?”

Xander leaned forward and let his arms rest on his knees. “Think about it, Fred,” he sighed. “Spike’s living here, Buffy in the states. It’s one hell of a long distance. I don’t even think Spike knows how long Buffy will be staying here.”

“Well, at least they’re living in the moment,” she said softly and smiled at the couple.

---

On the dance floor, Spike and Buffy was still oblivious to the stares they were getting from the table. Buffy was now resting her head on his chest with Spike’s arms wrapped securely around her waist. His chin was on the top of her head as they slowly swayed in time with the music.

When she raised her head from his chest and met his blue eyes the world around them seemed to melt away. It almost felt surreal. The only two people in the room were them; the only sound piercing threw their state was the song.

Spike couldn’t draw his eyes away from her and surprisingly enough, the intense moment they shared didn’t affect him in bad way. It didn’t make him nervous, on the contrary.

They barley realized that their faces were getting closer until Buffy felt his lips on hers. She didn’t have time to think before she pressed her mouth against his and wrapped her hands around his neck. Spike’s arms drew her closer to him until she could feel every part of him and she couldn’t help but let out a little moan.

Spike’s hand slid further to the small of her back and she angled her head to deepen the kiss. His lips brushed across hers, and his tongue slid between her parted lips. A growl escaped from him as she let her fingers trace the back of his neck until she found the blonde rebellious curls he so badly wanted to get away. Her nails dug into his skin but he didn’t care. All that mattered was having her in his arms.

Buffy broke away, much to her own dismay to catch her breath. Spike traced the column of her neck and placed small kisses there as Buffy closed her eyes. “Spike,” she mumbled as she felt the evidence of his desire. “Maybe…”

Her words were drowned by the music and she opened her eyes to look up at him. His eyes were dark and his chest was rising and falling heavily in time with his breathing. She swallowed as he looked at her. Suddenly, she became aware of that they were standing in the middle of the dance floor and her eyes widened in a bit of embarrassment as she noticed a few people staring.

Buffy turned her attention back to Spike and watched him for a few seconds before a devilish smile tugged at her lips. Spike raised an eyebrow in question.

She quickly glanced back to the table where their friends were sitting to make sure they weren’t watching them before she nudged her head in the direction of the exit. Her hand traced the outlines of his chest before she stepped back and without a word, walking out of the club.

It didn’t take Spike long to understand the meaning of her move and soon he was after her.

Chapter 26 - Let Loose

They barley made it out the exit into the dark alley before Buffy felt herself being pinned to the wall and Spike’s mouth attacking hers.

She let out a muffled moan and responded to his actions by arching into him. He let out a muffled groan as he pushed against her. Buffy smiled against his lips but then let her brain only concentrate on the feel of his body pressed against hers.

The tiles of the wall dug into her back but she couldn’t seem to care less. Oh, thank god we didn’t do this inside. Okay, we pretty much did but still…

This was all going against her own little ‘rules’ of dating. They had been together for a little less than a week and here they were – furiously making out in a scabby alley. How romantic, she thought sarcastically and yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away.

Normally she used to wait at least until a fifth date before she did… this with a guy. Sure, there was some making out session in the car or an innocent kiss by the door but the moment she and Spike were sharing right now – no.

Breathing started to become an issue as Spike pulled away, gasping for air. Buffy met his eyes for a second and she felt her heart swell at the emotion there. Quickly Buffy smashed her lips against his again and she felt one of his hands wound around her waist, pulling her even closer.

Buffy felt her head start to spin by the passionate kiss, by the affect she was obviously having on him pressing against her stomach and all the emotions that was swimming in her head. None she had the strength to think through right now.

Instead she let out a soft moan and leant her head against the cold wall, her eyes fluttering shut. She shuddered although she was sure she was going to burn up as Spike trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

“Buffy,” he breathed and let his hands roam over her body, feeling her body press against his. His eyes rolled shut as he tried not to do something that would made them go too far.

Yeah, like you haven’t already, mate.

He couldn’t believe how fast things had changed during the last couple of days. The events seemed to have brought them closer. Weird events, tearful ones, ones that he wouldn’t even want his closest friends to be a part of… So why didn’t he mind when Buffy tagged along? Actually, he couldn’t imagine how it would’ve turned out without her. Would he even have gone over to Lily for example? He didn’t even want to think about that. Point was, Spike couldn’t see how his life had been before. Without her there.

Spike couldn’t help himself but break away from her neck and quickly lean in and capturing her mouth in a searing kiss, the short time he hadn’t touched them being way too much. His body pressed hers against the wall as their tongues met.

With one hand still around her waist, he let his other entwine with her hair. Suddenly feeling they still were too far apart, Spike let both his hands course down along her body to rest at her thighs, gently tugging as if asking for permission. Buffy understood his silent question and lifted her legs as Spike helped her to wrap them around his waist, the movement causing them both to groan at the new closeness.

The feeling of the full length of his body pressed against her sent her mind reeling, but not enough to get her off tracks. During the movements their lips hadn’t separated once.

“Spike,” she moaned and ran her hand through his hair. “I –“

After that, everything happened so fast.

A door was opened.

Their lips separated and the kiss was broken.

Voices were heard from behind, as the light from the pub was seen.

Spike let go of Buffy’s legs and she stumbled down onto the ground, barley able to regain her balance as they backed away from each other.

The three people who were now standing in the alley had all different looks on their faces. Gunn had a smug ‘oh-I-know-what-you-just-did’ look, Xander looked embarrassed of what they just walked in on and Fred’s mouth had formed a perfect little ‘oh’.

Blushing, Buffy’s eyes looked everywhere but at the three friends. Quickly glancing at Spike she realized he was as embarrassed as she was, judging by the way he kept clench and unclench his jaw.

“Sorry, we’ll just go inside,” Fred said with a little smile, and tried to grab Xander and Gunn by their sleeves. Gunn on the other hand, wasn’t too keen on leaving.

“So, care to tell me what was going on here?” He asked, smirking that only made Buffy’s cheeks heat up even more. Spike swallowed and exchanged a look with Buffy before turning back to his friend.

“Uh, Buffy dropped a… She dropped a – “

“Coin!”

“Pen!”

Buffy sent him an irritated look. Sure, they were out here looking for a pen of all things. Spike raised his eyebrows in a “what?!” – expression. Buffy only sighed and shook her head.

“Ah, coin-pen. I see. So Spike, did you find it in Buffy’s mouth?” He grinned and Buffy let out a frustrated little whimper as she put her head in her hands.

Gunn couldn’t help but laugh at Buffy’s miserable face as Spike put a comforting hand at her shoulder. “Aw, didn’t mean to embarrass you, but seriously. A pen, Spike? A coin is a little more believable… Well, if we wouldn’t have gotten such a clear sight of your pants, that is.”

Spike arched an eyebrow in response.

“Jeez, man! I didn’t know coins turned you on that much. I mean, it’s all dark out here but not that dark.”

Buffy only wanted to sink through the ground and never show her face again and yet she couldn’t help but laugh. It was all too comical. She put a hand to her mouth as she giggled when Spike sent her a glare before tugging his coat closer around his body.

“Ugh, too much information,” Xander groaned, shaking his head.

“Sorry again,” Fred blushed, keeping her eyes on a point to the side of the couple. “Uh… We just wanted to know where you disappeared to, although Gunn seemed to have an idea already…”

“And guess if I was right?” He beamed.

“All right,” Spike said sharply with a sigh. “Show’s over.”

“Oh, no,” Xander replied sarcastically. “And I thought it was just getting started.” Spike shot him a deathly glare as the gang started to go inside again, leaving the blonde duo by themselves in their humiliation.

They stayed in complete silence for a few moments until they dared to look at each other, both with small smiles on their faces.

“Okay,” Buffy said, breathing a deep sigh. “That wasn’t awkward at all.”

Spike smirked. “I told you they have the worst sense of timing ever.”

Buffy nodded firmly, keeping her gaze on the closed door. “I agree with you on that one. Well, at least we learned a lesson.”

He raised an eyebrow in question and Buffy turned to face him. “Hello?” She said, her eyebrows furrowed together. “Never make out in an alley when your friends are inside. Especially not after being so damn obvious.”

“True,” Spike agreed, nodding before sighing. “What do you say? Are we too humiliated to walk inside again or should we face the big bad wolf?”

“Wolf?” Buffy asked.

“Well in this case mostly Gunn because he won’t let this go by far, trust me. Maybe we should make sure we still have our pride or what do you say?”

Buffy nodded. “That’s probably the best. It might hurt Buffy’s ego if we don’t,” she added with a frown and Spike chuckled. She looked too damn cute.

Buffy pouted in response and Spike had to suppress the urge to groan. “Stop doing that. I’m bloody lost when you do it and you know it.”

An innocent smile appeared on Buffy’s face as she tilted her head. “Do I? Oops, sorry, didn’t know but don’t worry. Won’t happen again. Promise.”

He pulled her into his embrace and almost growled at her. “Don’t you dare. I love that pout.”

“Good,” she replied in a chipper voice before tugging at his hand. “Come on. It’s time for us to protect whatever is left of our pride.”

Spike shook his head with a smile on his face as he glanced lovingly at the woman in front of him. “As you wish.”

---

“A toast.”

“For what?”

“For protecting our pride,” Spike said, raising his glass to Buffy. She smiled and raised hers too. As they brought together their glasses, they rattled as the thin glass touch each other.

Buffy took a sip from the red wine and then put it down on the ground again, glancing about the perfect ocean.

“This was the best idea, Spike,” she told him softly, turning her head slightly to look at him. “The dinner, the wine… Everything. And on top of it – here.”

Spike nodded slightly as he realized that this woman brought out the shy William again with her sweet comments and that was something he thought only would show from time to time with his family. His inner poet was dying to find a pen and a paper and just write. But of course he didn’t, he decided to enjoy this evening with Buffy.

After walking back into the Wicca they had suffered a lot of comments, especially from Anya and Gunn. The others were a little more reserved but it still didn’t stop them from laughing at their troubles faces when Anya asked the intimate questions.

When they finally headed home, Spike had come up with an idea. In order to forget about their embarrassing time at the Wicca when their friends walked in on them, he thought they could go to the secluded beach the next day which Spike had shown her, her first days in Cornwall. And, when they were there they might as well bring dinner, he’d said.

Buffy thought it was a great idea.

She’d get to spend more time with Spike and without a lot of other people in the background. The best with this little beach was that no one seemed to visit it. Most of the people hung out at the larger one, were they could swim without any problems. It was harder here, at Spike’s little place but it still didn’t stop them.

Spike had fixed dinner after Buffy had confessed her lacking skills in cooking and now, they were sitting in the soft sand on a blanket with a whole refrigerator, glancing at the ocean as the sunset started to fall on them. It was still fairly warm, but Buffy couldn’t help but let out a little shudder at the icy winds from the ocean.

Spike noticed this and moved to sit behind her and offered her one of the blankets she had brought with them. She smiled at him before putting on a stubborn face.

“Thanks, I’m fine.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Luv, you’re freezing.”

“Not so much,” she replied and Spike let out a sigh. “What? It’s the truth.”

“Let me at least warm you,” he said and wrapped his arms around her form. She tensed up a bit before relaxing at the feeling of resting in his arms. Carefully she leant back into his embrace and let out a content sigh.

“All right, maybe I was a little cold,” she admitted solemnly and Spike chuckled making her body shake in time with his as the chuckle rumbled through his chest.

“You’re a bit stubborn, has anyone ever told you that, pet?”

Buffy shrugged. “Once or twice, not that much.”

“Think I’ll have to repeat it,” he said and instinctually he let his chin rest against the top of her head. He tensed up, not meaning to get so intimate but Buffy didn’t seem to mind. She snuggled closer into his embrace as the sun slowly started to go down.

“This is nice,” Buffy replied.

“Yeah. It is,” Spike answered. “I’m glad you thought it was a good idea. I felt kind of poncy when I asked.”

“Why?” Buffy frowned. “It was cute, and nice and thoughtful. Nothing to feel… poncy or whatever for.”

“Maybe not,” he replied softly. “I only wanted something good for you.”

“And you did it.”

Silence fell over the calm beach as the pair just sat there, enjoying the moment when Buffy leant her head backwards, resting it against his shoulder. Spike slowly glanced down at her with a smile.

“I really appreciate all this, I mean really.”

“Got the memo,” Spike smirked. “But, I think I deserve something as a reward.”

Buffy tilted her head a bit and glanced up at him. “You think so, don’t you?” Spike nodded instantly, imitating a good version of an impatient five year old. “What could I give you in return?”

Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth. “How about a kiss?”

“I could do that,” she smiled. Spike bent down and met her halfway, their lips fusing together in a soft kiss. But as with most of their kisses, it soon escaladed into something more heated. When Spike felt Buffy’s tongue touch his he wrapped his arms around her tighter. Buffy let out a content sigh but became frustrated that she couldn’t wrap her arms all around him.

Making a quick decision she broke away from the kiss, nearly whimpering at the loss of contact. Spike looked confused for a few seconds before he realized that she only made a move to come closer to him as she straddled his hips and once again met him in a searing kiss.

Spike let his hands play with the hem of her shirt, touching the soft skin there as they continued to kiss as fiercely. Buffy let out a moan when she felt his hand slide down her back and moved closer into him.

All too soon, air was becoming an issue and they had to break apart. Buffy rested her forehead against his as she caught her breath. Pulling back slightly, eyeing him, she bit her lip.

Spike frowned at her when he saw her in deep thoughts. Carefully he placed a strand of hair behind her ear. “What are you thinking about?”

You got your chance now, Summers, so why won’t you take it? He’s asking you, wanting to now what you’re thinking about. Let’s face it; you can’t avoid the talk forever.

Buffy silently cursed her inner voice, but she realized as annoying as it was, that it was right. She had to talk to him about everything, about their relationship… It had been avoided so many times and to be honest, it felt good not having to worry about what would happen in the future. But truth was, she didn’t want this to be a summer fling, and if she didn’t want it to be that she couldn’t keep avoiding the subject. They had to talk, now or never.

“I think we need to talk.”

So, what do you think? Your opinion really means a lot to me! :)

Chapter 27 - Live in the moment

“I think we need to talk.”

Not really expecting that answer to his question, Spike looked at her stunned for a few moments with his hands still around her waist. He felt Buffy move slightly and eased the firm grip. He bit his lip as he looked at her softly.

“Nothing good ever comes out of those words,” he replied with a weak smile, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Buffy returned the smile as she moved away from his lap slightly to sit in front of him, clasping her hands together before looking at him again.

Then a frown formed on her face when she saw the clearly nervous expression on his face. Tilting her head, she asked softly; “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I just…” He trailed off, averting his eyes from her gaze, all the insecurity the nasty comments had caused him years ago crashing down on him again. So long ago and yet, it was still there. He was sure she’d break things off with him now. It was all too difficult, he was difficult, and they were living in different countries. Sure she was going to tell him they were over.

“Spike – “ Buffy began and he put up a hand in front of him.

“Don’t bother, Buffy,” he replied softly, still not looking at her. “I understand.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow in question. If he knew what she wanted to talk about, then why was he acting so strange? “You do?”

“All too well,” he mumbled before clenching his jaw. “I should… go…”

As Spike tried to stand up Buffy realized he hadn’t been thinking about how they were going to continue their relationship, the contrary. He actually thinks I want to end it?

Putting a hand on his arm she stopped him from getting up. Spike glanced from her hand to her face and finally made eye contact with her. It was then Buffy felt her heart clench at the obvious hurt in his eyes. Dragging him down to the sand again she held tighter onto his arm.

“Spike, no,” she said, harder than she had intended to but at least it made him look at her. “Whatever you thought I meant - I didn’t.”

“It’s alright, Buffy. I understand that you – “

Buffy rolled her eyes in frustration. “God and you’re calling me stubborn?” Spike raised an eyebrow in confusion and Buffy let out a sigh before moving closer to him. “Listen,” she said in a much softer voice. “I just wanted to talk to you about something and – “ she quickly added when she saw him lower his head, “- it is not about breaking up with you.”

Finally raising his head he stared at her in bewilderment. “No?”

Buffy shook her head. “No.”

“Then what?”

Buffy leant closer into him and placed a soft kiss on his lips and without really thinking, she let her left hand trace the lines of his stomach, just above his belt buckle. He responded instantly and let out a gasp. “Buffy, I don’t think… I mean…”

She placed a finger over his lips to silent him. “I’ve been thinking,” she whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

“Thinking?” Spike repeated.

“About us,” she said softly.

“You have?” He asked a little surprised since he now knew it wasn’t about ending what they had and also surprised that he was not the only one. She nodded.

“Yeah and I’ve come to a decision.” She waited for him to respond but when she got nothing she continued. “This… this thing we have… What does it mean to you?”

Taken aback by her question he just stared at her a few seconds. “What it means?” Once again nodding to him Spike opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to form a coherent sentence. “It… It means something important of course,” he mumbled before lowering his head again. “Something I don’t want to lose.”

She gave him a soft smile. “Me too.”

The worry that had filled him since Buffy started to talk about this was slowly disappearing when he realized that he had been wrong all the way. I really should learn to not presume things like that…

Buffy glanced down a bit. “I know it’s early, for… for whatever we have. After all, we’ve only known each other for such a short time. But on the other hand, I’ve come closer to you than I have to anyone before.”

Spike tilted his head and watched her in awe. She had just described the way he felt about her. Swallowing hard he took her hand in his and made her look at him. “I understand exactly what you’re feeling,” he almost whispered.

“You do?” Buffy asked.

“Buffy, we have been through a lot during your short stay here. Things that I didn’t even want my closest friends to be a part of. Things I haven’t even told them, I told you after just a few days. There is something about you that keeps drawing me in and I can’t resist it.”

Buffy’s mouth was left opened, as if she was about to say anything but there was no words. Instead, her eyes started to tear up and she blinked a few times to get the tears away. “Spike…” She began but he continued and moved closer to her.

“Buffy, you’re the first person who has ever made me forget about Drusilla,” he said sharply, needing her to understand the weight of those words, the meaning of the statement. “I’ve walked around for years now, trying to find myself again after the fiasco with Dru and I have never done that… until now.”

Buffy swallowed again and bit her lip in order to keep the tears back. Spike smiled weakly at her and brought his hand up to her cheek and caressed it gently. “You know,” he started as he traced her cheekbone, “Drusilla told me something once, after we were over. One of those times she sought me up to show her new fling of the night in my face, thought she was absolutely stir crazy then, but… I’m starting to wonder if she actually was right about that one thing.”

“What?” Buffy said in a raspy voice, thick from all the emotion coursing through her.

“Drusilla told me I’d find my sunshine, that my heart belonged to her. And I think she was right. I found her.”

Buffy let out a happy whimper and threw her arms around Spike’s neck, drawing him closer to her as she expressed her feelings to him through the kiss. Spike felt his heart swell as he kissed her with equal favor, trying not to let the kiss become too passionate. Pulling back slowly, they found themselves in the same position again – heads resting against each other.

“That has to be the sanest thing she’s ever said,” Buffy smiled and Spike chuckled in response.

“I’ll have to agree with you, luv.”

Buffy came to think of the first time she’d met Drusilla, at the beach after her first surfing lesson with Spike and everything became so much clearer.

*

“She also told me that you would have Sunshine with you. And there she is.” She turned to Buffy with a tight grin.

“Er… Hi, I’m Buffy.”

“Sunshine says she has a name. And so she does. She has come here to take my Spike away from me.”

*

“Sunshine has already gotten you were she wants you, Spike. Remember the time when I was the only one you cared about?”

*

“I had no idea,” Buffy mumbled as she pulled back from Spike’s embrace.

“Really not blaming you, pet,” Spike said, “after all, I haven’t told anyone that. See, you’re doing it again, making me confess things.”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh and the sound was music to Spike’s ears. He smiled as he looked at her and realized he couldn’t let her go. She was going home in a couple of weeks and then hell would break loose.

“Buffy,” he started, his voice taking on a more serious tone. “What are we going to do?”

Reading his thought, Buffy sighed. “I don’t know. We’re living so far away from each other and… I didn’t plan for this to happen.” Frustrated she ran a hand through her hair as she realized this was the first time they had really talked about her going home sometime in the near future. The subject had been avoided over and over again – now, they were here and she didn’t feel comfortable talking about it at all. Most of all, she wanted to forget it for now.

“What happens later?” Spike asked, not able to bring himself to say those words ‘going home’. Buffy looked at him.

“I don’t know. I wish I knew,” she whispered, helplessly. “Can’t we just… No…”

“What?” Spike asked, pushing her to tell him what was on her mind. She averted her eyes from his gaze and kept them at the soft sand. A frown appeared between her eyebrows as if she was in deep thoughts. “Come on, tell me.”

Chewing her bottom lip, Buffy looked at and meet his blue eyes. Tucking a strand of her behind her ear she mumbled; “I know it’s probably not a good idea…”

“What isn’t?”

“It’s against everything I should do, or would do for that matter,” she added.

“That depends on what you’re proposing,” Spike smiled.

Buffy swallowed. “I…” She suddenly shook her head and a determined expression replaced the nervous one on her face as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, screw it. Can’t we just live in the moment?” She blurted out.

Spike stared at her. “Live in the moment?”

“Couldn’t we forget about tomorrow and the day after that? Can’t we just… make the most out of the valuable time we have?”

Once again, Spike was left speechless. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish as he watched the woman he’d come to care so much about. She was more than just a fling, and hopefully she knew that. He wouldn’t just forget her after a few weeks and judging by the way she explained things she wasn’t going to forget him either. So why couldn’t they? They’d deal with the problems in their life after summer was over later. Right now…

“We better make the most out of it,” he said in a whisper. Buffy smiled at him as she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Not able to find the right words, Buffy kissed him again and soon they were lost.

Buffy crawled up in his lap again and wrapped her arms around his neck as Spike let his hands wander down her body. Desperate to be closer to her, Spike picked her up and rolled them over in the sand. Buffy let out a small gasp at the new position but didn’t let that get her off tracks.

Her fingers curled in his blonde hair when Spike tore his mouth away to trace kisses along her jaw down to her chest. Buffy let out a moan and arched her body into his, getting an instant reaction from Spike. His arm snaked around her waist to bring their lower bodies closer as Buffy’s nails dug into his back.

“Buffy,” he murmured and found her lips again.

Buffy responded by pulling at his shirt, trying to get it over his head and he helped her get it off. He had barley laid it aside when Buffy stared to pull off her shirt as well – leaving them both to really feel skin on skin for the first time.

Spike let out a moan as he let his fingers gently trace their way from her hips to her bra, his fingertips grazing the edges of her breasts as if asking for permission. He got his answer when Buffy instantly gasped into his mouth.

The next second, the bra was off and Spike raised an amused eyebrow. “I didn’t even see you do that.”

Buffy gave him coy smile before bringing him down for a passionate kiss once again. “Too much talking,” she mumbled between kisses as she began to get out of her pants. That move made Spike realized what was about to happen and he pulled away from her swollen lips.

“Buffy, I – “ he began, but like she had before, she silenced him with a soft finger to his lips.

“Shh… It’s okay. I want you,” she smiled.

Spike felt his breathing hitch in his throat and he swallowed hard. “Buffy, you don’t have to,” he began but Buffy shook her head.

“Didn’t we just agree on living in the moment?”

Spike watched her for a few moments until he slightly nodded. Meanwhile, Buffy had gotten out of her pants, leaving her in only a pair of panties. Buffy’s hips grinded into his, eliciting a low groan from him as he slowly kissed his way down her body.

A sense of déjà vu crashed down on them as Buffy’s fingers gently traced the outlines of his belt buckle and Spike found himself gripping her hand as she began to pull at his zipper. Looking into her eyes he asked, panting, with a serious tone; “Are you sure?”

“More than I’ve ever been,” she replied and that was all he needed to hear before his lips met hers in a heated kiss as his hands wandered her body, feeling the soft curves of her body.

Feeling his mouth close over of her nipples, she gasped in pleasure. “Spike, please…” Her hips writhed beneath him, making him growl against her skin as he pressed the evidence of his arousal against her thigh.

Spike pulled back to look at the woman lying in under him and he felt his breathing become even heavier. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, kissing her and Buffy’s hands once again found their way down to his zipper – this time pulling it down. Her hand found his erection and gently stroked it, causing Spike to let out a breathy gasp.

“Buffy…” He stilled her movements with his hand and looked at her with darkened eyes.

“I-I’m sorry,” Buffy got out, “I’m not really… sure of how to do it.”

“It’s fine, Buffy,” he assured her, stroking her cheek, “That’s the reason I asked you to stop. I won’t last much longer if you keep doing that.”

A smile spread across her lips and she slowly moved her hips against his. Spike just stared at Buffy, an indescribable feeling showing in his eyes. She looked so beautiful lying there on the blanket with the sand surrounding her and the soft sound of the waves crashing behind them. He swallowed and leant in to whisper in her ear. “Are you really sure, Buffy?” He asked.

She answered him by pulling him down for yet another kiss which he eagerly responded and Buffy’s hands ran through his hair, dislodging the curls from the gel. His hands slid down her body, learning every detail as he nudged apart her legs and positioning himself between them.

Pulling back to look at her he found her looking at him with an intense stare, her chest rising and falling in time with her irregular breathing. She looks like an angel, he thought with her golden hair spread around her shoulders in a soft mess of curls.

His eyes never left hers as he entered her, both gasping at the new sensation as he pushed all the way in. Spike bent his head down to the crook of her neck and groaned as Buffy closed her eyes to control her emotion, oblivious that Spike was doing the same thing.

Buffy was the first one to break out of their trance and she slowly moved her hips against his. Spike lifted his head from her neck and tried to control his breathing as he started to move along with her.

Finding her lips again, Spike began to thrust harder into her when he felt Buffy’s hands gripping his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and their breathing started to become more rapid when they got closer to the edge with each thrust.

“Oh God!” Buffy exclaimed, arching her back off the ground as she came. Spike thrust into her a few more times before he spilled himself within her, letting out a deep growl and collapsing on top of her. Buffy’s hands were still on his back, pulling him to her as they tried to catch their breath and realize what they just had done.

Seems like I have to call Cordelia after all, Buffy thought happily.

-----
So... what do you think? :)

Chapter 28 - Responsibilities

Spike was used to wake up early. He usually did and he enjoyed it quite much. The earlier he woke up the more he’d get out of the day. As he woke up this very morning fairly early, he still felt that he wouldn’t mind to sleep a bit more though.

He groaned slightly as he tried to hide from the sunshine that kept hitting him in the eyes. Where is that bloody blanket when you need it… Frustrated, he put an arm over his face to keep the irritating sunshine out. That was when it hit him.

This wasn’t his bed, or his house for that matter. And was that water he heard in the background?

Frowning he lifted away his arm from his face and opened his eyes to meet a bright blue sky. Not being used to the bright light, he blinked a few times and turned his head to the side, away from the intense rays of sun.

“Bloody hell…” He mumbled. “What am I doing – “

He trailed off at the sight in front of him. On his left was Buffy, clearly in a deep sleep with a content little smile on her lips – naked. It took his brain a few moments to work everything out before his eyes widened in understanding. Right, it was her I was doing last night…

A smile kept tugging at his lips at the beautiful sight. Her hair was a mess of curls and her mouth was left slightly open as she softly breathed. Spike couldn’t help himself, he had to touch her.

Leaning on his left elbow he reached his other hand out to her hair and gently traced the soft curls. His hand went down to her face and he stroked her cheek as he admired the view. Bloody hell, she’s gorgeous.

Buffy let out a soft moan and snuggled closer to him, making Spike wrap an arm around her small form. Her eyes began to flicker and slowly she opened them, step by step getting used to the bright light. Spike smiled at her reaction, so similar to his and chuckled slightly.

Buffy almost jumped at the unexpected voice before she saw Spike’s smiling face in front of her. She let out a content sigh before lying down again. “You scared me.”

“Gee, Buffy, that’s really what a guy wants to hear the morning after,” Spike replied jokingly, trying to keep the sarcasm in his voice. Buffy smiled sheepishly.

“It’s the truth though,” she told him with a smirk, but then she became serious. “So…”

Her eyes wandered down from his soft eyes and she closed them for a moment. “So…” Spike repeated, watching her and trying to understand the different emotions running over her face. “What are you thinking?”

Slowly she opened her hazel eyes again and lifted her head a little to meet his gaze. With a smile she mumbled; “I had a good night.”

“Me too,” Spike said softly, tucking away a strand of hair from her face. He bit his lip and studied her for a few moments. “Are you okay with this?”

Her face tilted a bit. “With what?”

“This,” he said, gesturing between them. “You don’t regret what happened, do you? Please don’t…”

Buffy reached out a hand and softly put a finger to his mouth to silence him. Shaking her head with a small smile. “No,” she whispered. “Of course I don’t.”

A surprised look appeared on Spike’s face. “You don’t?”

“Did you expect me to?”

“Well, I… I don’t know, honestly. Never really gave it that much of a thought…”

“Although, I think I’ll need to sleep in my own bed tonight,” Buffy said, grimacing when she felt her back hurt. Spike waggled his eyebrows and smirked.

“Does it have to be your bed?”

“Pig,” Buffy pouted and slapped him across the chest.

“You love it,” Spike replied before realizing what he said. He froze for a moment, watching Buffy’s face mimic his own actions. Why do I always stick my foot in my mouth? I can’t tell her that now, it’s too early… I swear to god, I freaked her out…

Buffy saw how his eyes changed and he seemed to panic. She had heard the words, alright, and he knew she had heard it. It was no point in lying, but why bring it up again when he obviously was that nervous about? Buffy thought.

Much to Spike’s surprise, Buffy interrupted his thoughts by covering his mouth with hers for the first kiss that morning – or… Well, if you didn’t count the ones they shared after midnight…

The way their bodies fitted so well together made them both loose control, soon; Buffy was on her back with Spike hovering over her as he kissed his way down her chest. Buffy moaned in pleasure and threw her head back, her eyes fluttering open as she started right up into the burning sun. She smiled as she felt his kisses working magic’s on her body and closed her eyes. She could lay herr all day long, with this man beside her, the water so close and the hot sun…

Wait. Was it supposed to be this warm in the morning?

“Shit,” Buffy let out and sat up, shocking Spike with her motions.

“What?” He asked, confused. Buffy reached for her bag and rummaged through the pockets until she found was she was looking for. Quickly looking at the clock on her cell phone, her eyes widened.

“It’s almost eleven!”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “So?”

Buffy nearly rolled her eyes at that. “So… It’s eleven, and it’s a Saturday morning! People will come here soon, if they’re not already coming and they can’t find us like this because that would just be… bad and – why are you laughing at me?”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle at her obvious worry but truth was, there was nothing to be worried about since people barley never visited this place at the beach. Most of the citizens were hanging out at the much more swim and surf – friendlier beach. At this one you had to crawl over a couple of cliffs to reach the end of it and get into the water.

But of course – Buffy didn’t know that.

“It’s okay, pet,” he said, trying hard not to laugh again. “No one’s coming here.”

Buffy glared at him. “How can you know that?”

“Because,” he started, “I came here almost every night and day after mum died. I have never met a living soul on this side except one or two times in two years Buffy.”

“Oh…” Buffy mumbled, biting her bottom lip. “Well…” She gave him a devilish grin. “So, when do you have to get back?”

“Hm.. I’d say, not for a few hours.”

“Really?” Buffy giggled. “What do you suggest we do meanwhile?”

“Oh, I have a few options…”

* * * * *

“You really mean it?”

Buffy tilted her head to the side and watched the soft expression on his face as they continued to walk. The vulnerable almost boyish face made her heart clench, Drusilla had really scarred him. Squeezing his hand tightly and knowing exactly what he was asking about, she shook her head.

“Of course I don’t regret it. You know that.”

Spike smiled at her let his eyes fall on the road in front of them as they made their way back to town a few hours later. It was a beautiful day, the warm air making the small icy breezes only nice on their heated skins.

They had decided to go and get some brunch at the Wicca since neither of them really wanted to go home to their houses. Of course they both knew that Willow would watch them and make small statements about how she and Tara got them together but they really didn’t care. Willow could have her laugh, it didn’t matter.

“So what are you going to do today?” Buffy said, feeling like she had to ask something to break the silence. She was never one for those silent walks, she was a talking person.

“Well, I do have practice later,” Spike told her, “and for the first time in years I really don’t feel like going.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow in question. “Really?”

“I don’t know why, I think it has to do with a person but I just can’t remember who…”

Buffy smiled and looked down at the ground. “I can come, you know.”

“It’s not too boring is it?” Spike asked and Buffy shook her head with a satisfied smile.

“I enjoy it. And isn’t Lily going to be there?"

“Yeah, she might. I don’t know if she’ll surf though but she’ll probably be there and watch. I talked to her yesterday and she said she was feeling a lot better.”

A frown appeared on Buffy’s face as she studied him for a short moment, disbelief written on her face. “But she’s not telling you everything, is she?”

Spike sighed and nodded, as much as he wanted everything to be okay now when her wounds almost had healed perfectly, he knew she was far from all right. When he talked to Lily on the phone he was relieved to hear that she actually sounded a lot happier than before – but after knowing her for a year, Spike knew she was hiding her true feelings of the attack.

Lily had seemed like she didn’t want to bring it up and Spike hadn’t forced it. She’d be okay, eventually, but it would take time. He just hoped Lily would be better soon, especially now when her father was going to trial in a few days.

“I’m afraid not,” Spike mumbled, glancing at Buffy who looked at him with sad eyes. “But I didn’t expect her to say anything either. She’s been through hell; she doesn’t need to be reminded of what she went through.”

“You’re probably right…”

* * * *
A few days later Spike was sitting on the couch in his apartment with Buffy in his arms, watching some lame chick flick Buffy had insisted on watching. But truth to be told, he was actually enjoying the movie quite much, of course he’d never tell Buffy that…

Buffy giggled softly at the screen and Spike couldn’t help but wrap his arms tighter around her, afraid of letting her go. It had been days since the day at the beach, days they’d spent together, sometimes even days and nights – and yet, none of them had mentioned her going home. Spike knew she still had weeks left but the thought of being here without her was just unbearable.

Running a hand through her soft hair he smiled down at her. He could think about that later – right now, they were living in the moment as Buffy had told him.

Suddenly, the sound of his cell phone woke both of them up from the calm atmosphere. Spike’s eyes wandered in the direction of the sound and let out a sigh but he didn’t make any attempt to go and get it.

Buffy lifted her head and looked up at him with raised eyebrows. “You’re not gonna get that?”

“Not if I don’t have to,” Spike replied and tried to concentrate on the movie instead. The phone soon stopped its ringing for a few moments, but it didn’t take long until it once again started to play the same tune again.

Spike let out a groan and Buffy chuckled. “I think you should get that, whoever it is obviously wants to get in touch with you.”

“You’re right,” Spike sighed and stepped up from the comfort on the couch and half ran into the kitchen were he had put his phone on the table. “Bloody hell, I’m coming…”
Picking it up, Spike frowned at the hidden ID the number on his cell was displaying before answering.

“William Giles,” he answered, just to be one the safe side and was more than surprised to hear the voice at the other end.

“Hello, mister Giles,” the woman greeted. “It’s Maggie Evans, Lily’s aunt.”

Spike’s frown deepened and he opened and closed his mouth before really getting a word out of it. “Hello, Mrs. Evans. What can I do for you?”

“I know this is probably not the right time to call you,” Maggie said and Spike noticed for the first time that she sounded pretty stressed. “Did I disturb you?”

“No, it’s fine. Is everything all right?”

Maggie let out a deep sigh and it only made Spike even more worried. “I’m afraid not.”

“What?” Spike let out.

Maggie seemed to be gathering her thoughts before answering with a low voice; “It’s about Lily.”

He’d hoped it was not about the little girl, knowing it could be nothing else the aunt wanted from him but he still didn’t want to think that anything had happened to her. Spike felt his heart beat a little faster as he swallowed.

“What about her?”

“Mr. Giles, you really have to understand that I don’t know what to do,” the aunt continued, desperately trying to make him understand her problems, to not be seen as the bad one in the show. Spike didn’t answer; he just waited for her to go on.

“Lily and her cousins have never been good friends,” she continued. “In the beginning, it went well but my children has come to me lately and complained about the girl’s staying. They think she’s taking too much of our small space since they had to move into the same room when she came here and as much as it hurt me to say this – they’re right. We live in a small apartment, William, my husband and I can’t afford a bigger house and now when Lily is living with us it’s only making our economy even worse. It’s terrible of me to say this but I’m afraid I can’t let Lily stay here with us any longer.”

Spike sighed and sat down at the table, running a hand through his hair as he let the information sink in. “What’s gonna happen with her?”

“I was thinking of calling social services,” Maggie went on with a sad voice, “but leaving Lily to another family she doesn’t know right now is just plain evil.”

“What are you saying?” Spike frowned, glancing towards the living room where Buffy was currently seated as he heard Maggie moving at the other end of the phone, clearly not wanting anyone in her home to hear her.

“I want her to stay with you for a while,” Maggie said.

Spike swore that if he had been drinking anything while hearing Maggie’s suggestion, he would’ve been spluttering it all out. Now, he was staring at a point in front of him in shock.

“William? Are you still there?”

Spike shook out of it and tried to find his voice again. “Uh, yeah… Sorry, I just… What?”

Maggie heaved a sigh. “I know that this is too much to ask of you, after all you’re her teacher and not family. But then again, I know that you’re the only person I could ask that Lily would feel safe to live with. I don’t want her to live in a foster-home after what happened to her. You know her and she’s told me a lot about you and that girl who found her and I just know you’re the right persons for it.”

“But… Buffy and I are not living together,” Spike stammered.

“I know, but it doesn’t matter. William, please. This does make me a horrible person, but I only want what’s best for my niece. I don’t want her to live with a family she doesn’t know,” Maggie pleaded and Spike rested his head in his hands.

He couldn’t believe Maggie would be asking him this, even though it warmed his heart that Lily really did feel safe with him and Buffy. But wouldn’t this make him Lily’s legal guardian? There was so much responsibility he didn’t know if he could deal with.

But on the other hand, I can’t let her live with someone she doesn’t know. Maggie is right, I can’t let her stay with some strangers.

Feeling more sure now, Spike raised his head and asked the aunt with a much securer voice; “When can I pick her up?”

So did you like this turn? Tell me :)

Chapter 29 - Family

“So what are we watching? My personal favorite is Bring It On but then again I know that Spike hates it,” Buffy finished with a small pout, holding two different movies in her hands, weighing them back and forth with a pensive look.

Spike grinned and cocked his head to the side. “Now, pet, I didn’t say I hate it.”

At that, Buffy only raised an eyebrow and left him to understand the meaning of it by himself. Instead, she turned back to Lily who was currently seated on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her small form, a pleased smile playing on her lips.

“Like I said,” Buffy continued, “this is my favorite. Doesn’t mean you’re gonna love it but you are after all a girl.” Grinning slightly she added, “but, of course, Spike’s favorite movie is Cry Baby and I’d definitely rate that one was a chick flick.”

“Oi!”

Lily laughed before shrugging. “I don’t know, you decide.”

Buffy pouted again at Lily and she could feel Spike’s eyes boring into her. She knew that pout was driving him crazy but she wasn’t about to stop. It was after all a bit fun to watch his hungry gaze. “I hate to choose.”

A frown appeared on Lily’s face as she seemed to think about her options before she clasped her hands together with a smile. “I think we’ll take Cry Baby, just to make Spike happy.”

“’m touched, nibblet,” Spike replied, putting a hand to his heart in a dramatic gesture that only made Lily giggle even more. Buffy playfully scoffed at them and put the DVD in the DVD player. As the theme for the movie started to play she made her way back to the sofa and placed herself between Spike and Lily.

Spike caught her look and smirked. “Not angry now, are you, pet?”

Buffy stubbornly shook her head. “Nope. Not the slightest.” He only laughed and kissed her on the cheek, both missing the curious look on the little girl’s face.

“Um… you’re not, are you?” Lily mumbled, the insecurity covering her voice and Buffy turned her head towards Lily in question.

“What, Lily?” She frowned.

“Angry,” Lily clarified and Buffy nodded knowingly, understanding what she was getting at. Swallowing a lump that was forming in her throat knowing that this was the after-effects of her so called dad’s attack. Putting a hand on her arm, Buffy looked her kindly in the eyes.

“Of course not, Lily. You’re free to say or think whatever you want. No one will be angry with you for expression your thoughts.”

Her sad face slowly faded away and was replaced by a small beam. “Good, because I thought it was just cruel to let Spike endure two hours of an insane ‘chick flick’.”

“Once again, touched,” Spike replied, leaning over Buffy to ruffle the girl’s hair. Giggling, Lily turned her gaze back to the TV, the smile never leaving her lips. Buffy watched her for a few seconds, a deep sadness in her eyes that she tried to hide. Oblivious to Buffy’s state, Lily laughed at the movie, and a small smile formed on Buffy’s lips.

When Spike had told her about Maggie Evan’s phone call she had been shocked, but at the same time thankful to the aunt. She hadn’t put her in a foster-home or even called social-services at first, instead, she contacted Spike. She wasn’t all that surprised actually when he told her he’d accepted Maggie’s offer. After all, the girl meant a lot to him.

Coming over to the house, Buffy realized that it was impossible to the Evans family to have Lily living with them. The house was small, too small for four kids and two grown-ups. Buffy noticed that Lily’s cousins didn’t seem all that sad that Lily was going and she guessed that their mom had kept her mouth shut about what really happened to Lily that fateful day.

Maggie had already taken care of all the papers, Spike just needed to sign them. Having Lily at his house wasn’t for good, just temporary until they could get in touch with her mother.

It hadn’t taken them long to pack Lily’s things into Spike’s Desoto and soon they were off towards Spike’s apartment.

Before they left, Spike had arranged one of the rooms of his apartment so Lily would be able to live there. They’d have to get a new bed, the one that was currently standing there had been slept in by many people before her and it had also been standing there for years. Two days from now, they were going to get the remaining things to her new home.

“I’m just gonna go get something to drink,” Buffy sighed and made a move to stand up. “You guys want something?”

“I’m fine,” Spike absently told her, his eyes never leaving the screen as he watched Iggy Pop enter the scene. Buffy shook her head and turned to Lily.

“What about you, honey?”

“Do you have lemonade?” She asked with a tilt of her head. Buffy nodded and clasped her hands together.

“One lemonade coming up!”

In the kitchen she started to arrange the drinks. Accidentally dropping one of the glasses onto the floor filled with liquid she let out a little ‘eep’.

“You okay in there, luv?” Spike called from the living room and Buffy bent down to pick up the broken glass as she reached for something to dry the floor off with.

“Fine, broke a glass though…” she yelled back and she heard Spike laugh softly. “Sorry, but you know me. I’m clumsy-Buffy!”

Picking up the remaining pieces, Buffy filled up a new glass of lemonade for Lily and also one for herself and put them on a tray. Smiling in triumph, Buffy made her way back to the living room where Spike was still as engrossed in the movie as ever. She stopped in the door way at the sight in front of her as something indescribable warmed her heart.

This picture; Spike sitting on the sofa with his eyes plastered on the TV, a content look on his face, with Lily beside him, looking nothing but pleased just seemed so… right. It was weird, but somehow she just felt like she could stand there all day watching them. Lily was one lucky gal, she’d be living with Spike and live the life she should’ve lived for all those years and somehow Buffy realized she didn’t want to miss it.

But, you’ll be going home in less than four weeks, she told herself, swallowing and looking away from the happy scene in front of her. I have to go back. I got my whole life in Sunnydale, my family, my job, my friends… As long as four weeks sounded, it was not enough.

“You seem to be in deep thoughts,” Spike stated and Buffy snapped her head up to meet Spike’s curious blue eyes. Buffy put a smile on her face walked into the room, placing the tray onto the table in front of the sofa.

“Zoned out a little,” Buffy shrugged and gave Lily one of the glasses. “Oh,” she then said, turning to Spike, “sorry about the glass. I can pay you for it.”

Spike waved her off and patted her on the shoulder with a small smirk. “Think you can make it up to me.”

Buffy grinned mischievously and moved closer to Spike. “Really? How now?”

He tilted his head and watched her with a pensive look before shrugging as an innocent look graced his features. “Well… You could give us a kiss?”

“Think I can handle that,” Buffy replied and softly pressed her lips to his in a sweet kiss. On instinct, Spike’s hands went to her waist as he kissed her. And, if the little voice behind them hadn’t interrupted them, they sure would’ve gone further…

“Ew…” Lily said, wrinkling her nose at the two of them.

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at Spike’s look as she sat down on her place between the two persons she’d come to like so much. “You’re gonna change your mind about that, Lily, believe me.”

Lily raised her eyebrows in an ‘are-you-kidding-here’ look. “Don’t think so. Kissing equals ew.”

“You will understand when you get older,” Buffy sighed and leant back on the couch with a happy smile on her face, her own words ringing through her head. ‘Live in the moment’.

Chapter 30 - Love?

“Can I ask you something?”

Buffy glanced up from the newspaper to meet the brown eyes of the little girl who was sitting in front her at the kitchen table at her new home and tilted her head while nodding in agreement.

“Sure, anything.”

Lily averted her eyes from Buffy’s gaze for a few seconds and concentrated on the sandwich in front her, fingering on it as if she was thinking about was she wanted to say. Buffy made no move to push her; she just watched the girl and waited for her to say what she wanted.

Finally looking and shocking Buffy with a little smirk on her lips and a playful look on her face, she put down her sandwich and put her elbows onto the table, letting her chin rest in her palms. “Are you and Spike really together?”

Buffy raised an eyebrow, not really expecting the question. Lily had been living with Spike for almost a week now and Buffy had practically been spending each and every night at his place too, she thought it was obvious. “Well, I thought you knew we were seeing each other.”

“I thought so,” Lily clarified, her chin still resting in her palms before shrugging. “I just wasn’t sure because you haven’t mentioned it, really.”

Buffy nodded understanding. “We are, at least it’s…” No, it’s too complicated to explain, she told herself as she started to hesitate. She won’t understand. “I mean, yes.”

Raising an eyebrow at the adult, Lily said; “You know, I may be young and all but I’m not stupid.”

Buffy let out a little chuckle and ran a hand through her hair. “Nope, that I know.” With a sigh Buffy put down the newspaper onto the table and crossed her arms over her chest in a protecting manner as she leant back in the chair. “So what do you think that you know?”

“Simple; that you love him,” Lily stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Buffy’s eyes widened and she opened and closed her mouth without getting any words out of it.

“I-I…”

Seeing the shocked look on Buffy’s face Lily realized she had said something she shouldn’t have. “Buffy, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…”

Shaking her head and cutting off Lily’s ranting Buffy forced a smile. “It’s all right. I just…” Letting out a sigh Buffy leant forward and mirrored the same movements as the brown haired girl in front of her as she propped her elbows up on the table. “It’s something we haven’t talked about, Lily.”

Confusion crossed the girl’s face. “Why not? You obviously do.”

“It’s not that simple, Lily,” Buffy said scratched her neck. Lily didn’t look too convinced, though.

“Of course it is. You tell him you love him, and he’ll tell you. That’s the way it works.”

Buffy couldn’t hold back her smile. If it was as simple as that, then she wouldn’t have that nagging feeling that kept bothering her every time she thought about going home. “I think I’ve let you watch too many American movies, sweetie. Life is not always that easy.”

“In the movies they always come running after one another,” Lily said with a dreamy look on her face. “They have a fight, the girl goes away and then the guy comes after her and tells her he loves her. Then they live happily ever after.”

Buffy arched a meaning eyebrow at her. “Like I said, too many movies.”

Lily shrugged and picked up an apple from the bowl full of fruits that was placed in the middle of the table. “So you’re telling me you won’t live happily ever after with Spike?”

Was there an easy answer to that? Buffy thought and chewed on her bottom lip as Lily asked the question she kept asking herself every day. Would they have a future together or would this just be written off as history in a few weeks? Would she move on and meet another man who meant this much to her?

Truth was, she didn’t know. She didn’t know what would happen weeks from now, when she’d return home and start working again. When she would be going back to her life again.

Realizing she had avoided Lily’s question she met the young eyes of the girl and looked at her with soft eyes. “I don’t know.”

Not noticing the miserable voice, Lily shook her head and took a bite out of the apple. “I am sure you will. I like you both very much and you’re so perfect together. Everyone says so.”

Tilting her head, a look of confusion marred Buffy’s face. “Everyone?”

Rolling her eyes slightly, Lily stood up and made her way over to the sink with her dishes. “Well, at least I heard Willow and Tara say it when I was at their house the other night. But they didn’t think I was listening.”

Buffy just shook her head. Those two were really trying to play matchmakers. Looking back at Lily, Buffy called out her name and she turned around.

“I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell Spike that we had this conversation,” she said, seriously, afraid that it only would make things worse. Lily nodded.

“Okay, but I don’t really understand why I can’t – “

“Please, just don’t,” Buffy cut her off and looked at her with pleading eyes. Without another word, Lily nodded and silently promised Buffy she wouldn’t say anything.

---

“That was…”

“Amazing…” Spike filled in as he rolled away from Buffy. She could do nothing but agree with a happy smile.

“I second that.”

Spike chuckled and pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her waist as she snuggled closer to the warm body beside her, a content smile on her lips.

After spending hours in bed that day, she was exhausted, but in a good kind of way. In an I-never-want-to-get-up kind-of one. Thank God, Lily had wanted to spend the night at one of her friend’s house.

Glancing at the man beside her she propped her head onto his shoulder, using it as a pillow. His hair was messed up and the curls he so badly wanted to flatten was sticking out everywhere – making him look absolutely adorable and sexy.

A smirk formed on Spike’s lips as she noticed how she kept watching him. “Seeing something you like, pet?”

Biting her lip to keep herself from smiling she tried to shrug casually. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Spike questioned, knowing that look all too well. He propped himself up onto one elbow so that he was hovering over her. He was gonna give her a snappy come back but one look at her and he was lost in her beauty, as cliché as it sounded.

Her blonde bouncy hair was tousled over the pillow as she started up at him, her lips twitching into a smile.

The last days had been wonderful. Buffy and Spike had been spending almost every hour of the day together, going to the beach, enjoying an evening with Willow and Tara and the rest of the gang, just having a calm movie night with Lily… Buffy barely ever visited her rented house, except from the times when she needed to get new clothes or something else of her stuff.

Today, she had once again taken her place by the big stone on the beach as Spike held the practice for the kids. She was actually surprised that she hadn’t gotten tired of it. She remembered those times Angel had gotten her to go with him to his football trainings, god how she had hated it… Buffy hadn’t seen it like that back then but now she realized Angel was acting like a high school boy, trying to impress the girls.

Watching Spike teach the kids, encouraging them, making them believe in themselves was something she never could get tired off. She was amazed by the way he worked with them; he was an excellent teacher and friend.

And then there was Lily.

Judging by the way things were going right now, Buffy presumed that Lily had kept her promise to Buffy and not told Spike anything about their little conversation, but after all, Lily was busy living the life she hadn’t be able to before.

People were still trying to get in contact with the missing mother without any progress, but Lily didn’t seem to be all too miserable because of that. She was enjoying her time with Spike and Buffy as much as they like having her there.

“What do you say?” Spike mumbled, getting Buffy back to reality with his soft voice. Buffy blinked a few times and watched him for a few seconds.

“What do I say about what?”

Spike chuckled and bent down to nuzzle her neck. “Thought I lost you there.”

Buffy closed her eyes in pleasure and let out a little moan. “You’re going to now if you keep doing that,” she let out and Spike pulled back, leaving a promising kiss on her lips.

“I was saying, what do you think about getting the most out of the time we have before I’ll have to pick up Lily?” Spike repeated and tucked a lock behind her ear.

“How much time do we have?”

Spike glanced to the clock on the night stand and made some quick math. “Half an hour. You up for it?”

“Always,” Buffy smirked and met his lips in a passionate kiss. For moments they just let their lips gently nib at the others, enjoying the comfort they were giving each other. But soon the kiss became more needy and Buffy trailed her hand down Spike’s back, digging her finger nails into his back, electing a soft groan from Spike.

Gently tugging her legs a part Spike placed himself between them and looked at Buffy as he slid inside. Watching the expression on Buffy’s face he almost forgot to breathe at the beautiful sight in front of him. He wanted to say the words, but he couldn’t. Instead, he slowly started to move with long, deep and slow thrust, hoping to show her how much she meant to him by the gentle lovemaking.

Once again meeting her lips in a hungry kiss. He let his hands travel down her warm skin, never getting enough of touching her as his breathing started to become more irregular.

Noticing that she was close, Spike sped up his thrusts and soon they both came together. Spike tore his lips away from her mouth as the sensation flooded through him and her name left his lips.

Burying his head in her neck, both of them tried to control their breathing. Buffy winded her arms around his back and held him close as she let her eyes drift close to enjoy the moment.

Slowly, Spike pulled back and looked down at her, softly stroking her cheek in appreciation none of them really caring about the ringing phone.

---

“Spike, are you coming?” Buffy yelled from the door, half an hour later, impatiently stamping her foot against the floor. They were already late to Lily’s friend since they had been caught up in another round of sex and Buffy couldn’t help but smirk at the thought. But right now they really needed to hurry and Spike was being really lazy.

“Coming, I just can’t find the bloody keys…” Spike bellowed from the bedroom, rummaging through his jeans pockets without any result. Starting to become frustrated he let out a sigh and went over to the desk and pulled out the drawer. “Where the bloody hell did I put it…” He mumbled moments before his eyes spotted it beside the phone.

Rolling his eyes as he remembered leaving them there the other day he picked them up and just happened to notice the red light flashing from the phone. Frowning, he looked at the displayer and noticed he had one missed call from a number he did not recognize. Weird, I don’t recall hearing the phone ring…

Pressing on the button to hear if the person had left a message he shrugged when there was no reply.

“Spike!”

Spike snapped out of it and grabbed his coat from the chair as he heard Buffy’s menacing yell from the hallway. “Bossy bint,” he mumbled with a smirk and made his way out of the room, not giving the call anymore thought.

Chapter 31 - Picture Memories

“Oh, my god! Look at that!”

“I know. Isn’t it just adorable?”

Buffy giggled and put a hand to her mouth as she glanced down at the pictures in front of her. “Adorable isn’t enough for this pic, Chelsea.”

Chelsea laughed and turned to the next page in the worn out photo album they were currently looking through. Spike had practice and when Giles called Buffy to invite her over for lunch she hadn’t hesitated for a second. Now, she was sitting here with Chelsea and looking at old memories.

It had been almost two weeks since Lily moved in with Spike and the girl was still enjoying it. The past week they’d spent a lot of time with each other, watching movies, going to the beach, hanging out with Willow and Tara…

Buffy was still surprised that she hadn’t gotten tired of this, this life here. These people, the places… Everything! And to know that she had a little more than a week left was just terrible… But she often shook off that feeling. She and Spike had decided to live in the moment and that was exactly what she was going to do. The future problems would be taken care of later.

“Look here, do you see who that is?”

Buffy shook her head slightly as if to clear it and concentrated on the pictures of the family instead which did wonders to make her forget about the going home thing.

Buffy leant a little closer to the book and narrowed her eyes as if she wanted to see the picture clearer. A frown appeared on her face. “No… Who’s that?”

Chelsea smiled vigorously and pointed at the picture. “You don’t see it? It’s Spike!”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she snapped the album from the girl’s hands to take a closer look. “Oh my god, it is!”

She couldn’t believe that the little boy, wearing a pink and white colored rabbit suit was in fact Spike as a six year old. Under the long pink ears, soft, curly brown hair was sticking out and he was wearing thin glasses. Looking closer, Buffy wondered how she could’ve missed that this was the Spike she knew, especially when she saw the boy’s smile. It was just screaming Spike about it.

“Dad has to hide this album when Spike comes over. He’s told Spike that he has burnt it up, he hates this picture. But I had to show you,” she added.

A devilish smile tugged on her lips as she handed the album back to Spike’s sister. “Oh, I’ll make sure to remind him of that sweet little event.”

“Do that, but don’t tell him who showed it to you. I’m a dead man – woman – if he finds out I’m the responsible one.”

“He would have to hear about it to hurt you,” Buffy smiled and gestured for her to go on. “Come on, I wanna see more.”

Chelsea turned the page and a sad smile appeared on her face as she studied the picture of four people, standing close to each other. “This was twelve years ago,” she told Buffy and let a finger gently trace the edges of a beautiful woman with brown curly hair and kind eyes. It didn’t take Buffy a long time to figure out that the woman holding onto a much younger Giles and the two small kids were Chelsea and Spike’s mother.

“She’s beautiful,” Buffy softly said. She tilted her head to the side and then looked from the picture to Chelsea. “You got her eyes and smile.”

Chelsea gave her a smile. “People keep saying that.”

“What was her name?”

“Ann,” Chelsea said with a dreamy look on her face and Buffy suddenly felt bad for bringing it up. She knew how hard it must be for the young girl to look at the pictures of her mother. But then, sometimes talking made the pain easier to bear, it really depended on the person and she didn’t know how Chelsea felt exactly.

Buffy let her eyes fall on Spike. Now, without the long slack ears, she got a full view of his natural hair. She didn’t really understand why he insisted on bleaching it, he had a wonderful light brown color in his hair and she’d die for those curls of his.

But then, he really did look great in that blonde hair. Pretty sexy, she added for herself.

Already as a child, his cheekbones made him recognizable at once. “When did Spike start bleaching his hair?” Buffy asked, wanting to get Chelsea on other thoughts.

“Around the time he met Drusilla. I think he was sixteen or something.” She scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “I remember when he came home from the saloon that day. I think he gave mom a heart attack.”

“What did Giles say?” Buffy smiled, thinking that his father probably reacted the same way.

“I remember him staring at Spike for hours the first days. Then he started making fun of it, but Spike didn’t really care about Dad’s lame jokes about getting dazzled by the bright color of his hair, he was feeling comfortable with it and well. He still has it.”

“I noticed that Giles hasn’t called him Spike even once during the time I’ve spent here,” Buffy noted and Chelsea nodded as she closed the album and put it on the table in front of the sofa.

“Yeah, dad refuses to call him that ‘bloody poncy name’ as he so nicely describes it. He’s pretty much the only one still calling him William. Well, I do it sometimes but not that often anymore. Spike just got stuck.”

“I see what you mean,” Buffy said.

Chelsea glanced at the clock and let out a sigh as her stomach let out a hungry growl. “I wonder when Dad decides to get home. I’m starving…”

Buffy got up from the sofa and looked out the window, down towards the porch. “I don’t think we’ll have to wait long,” she told her when she saw Giles park his old car. She turned back to Chelsea and clasped her hands together. “So, what do you say about setting the table?”

---

“So what have you girls been up to this evening?” Spike asked later while digging in on the lasagna Chelsea had fixed. Buffy sent her a knowing smile and Chelsea smirked in response.

“Nothing much. Watched some TV and cooked, what do you say about it?”

“Best lasagna I’ve ever had.”

Chelsea scoffed at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re just saying that ‘cus Buffy was with me.”

“I promise, I’m not,” Spike said, putting his hand against his heart before leaning closer to Chelsea and mumbling into her ear, though loud enough for Giles and especially Buffy to hear. “Trust me, having Buffy in the kitchen is not a good idea.”

“Hey!” Buffy exclaimed and threw a napkin at him which only made Spike chuckle. “I can cook, just not… you know, good.”

“So you’re telling me that you did most of the job on this dinner?” Spike asked with a disbelieving look. He remembered all to well about their little talk about cooking and how Buffy very accurately described that she was a mess in the kitchen.

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. “All right, Chelsea did most of the job. But still,” she finished with a slight pout and Spike nearly choked on his food. He sent her a look she understood meant something like ‘you know you’re killing me here’ but that only made Buffy pout even more.

Groaning, he turned his eyes away from her and instead found the tablecloth particularly interesting.

“If you kids are done fighting,” Giles started with a sigh as he stood up from his chair, “maybe I could serve you the dessert?”

“Oh god,” Buffy let out with a heavy sigh, “is there more? I seriously don’t think I’ll be able to.”

“Peesh,” Giles waved her off and started to walk towards the kitchen. “You most definitely will.”

“I can’t even move!” Buffy exclaimed but even if Giles heard her he ignored it. Buffy sighed and slumped back in the chair. “That man’s gonna be the death of me if he makes me eat more,” she told Spike.

“Aww, poor baby. Such a hard life you’re living,” Spike consoled her and put a hand on her shoulder. “I bet you’d want to be somewhere else right now.”

Buffy slapped his hand with a smirk. “If I was able to move I’d have your head ripped off.”

“And the kitten’s got claws,” Spike teased with a raise of his eyebrows.

“You know it,” Buffy said secretly, wiggling her eyebrows and Spike felt his cheeks heat up at the thought. Oh, his kitten did most definitely have claws…

“Can I please not have to listen to your sex talk? It’s creepy,” Chelsea groaned and rolled her eyes, making Spike start to laugh and Buffy blush like a mad man. Okay, not entirely secretive.

Luckily Giles had the best timing ever as he came back into the room with big plate of apple pie on it, saving the couple from the very uncomfortable conversation. “Time to eat!”

“Time to die,” Buffy mumbled with a smile and gave Giles a wink. She was first of all the people in the room to reach for a slice of the pie.

---

“So you had a good night?” Spike asked, an hour later as he and Buffy were sitting in his Desoto, on their way back to Spike’s apartment. Buffy was leaning her head against the seat, feeling like it weighted tone. She slowly opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at Spike’s profile.

“The best. I love your family,” she smiled.

“Good, because they love you,” Spike smiled.

Buffy felt warm inside and turned her eyes back to the road with a content smile. “When are you picking up Lily?”

“Willow said it was okay to get her tomorrow so I think I’ll do just that. She was gonna help them out at the Wicca in the morning, apparently that’s something she really wanted to do so I won’t stop her. Come to think of it, we got the apartment all for ourselves. You wanna spend the night?” He asked with a suggestive sight.

Buffy grinned and shrugged innocently. “If you want me to.”

Spike raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “If I want you to? Is that even something you have to ask?”

“Oh, well. I just wanted to make sure,” Buffy smiled as Spike pulled into the parking lot outside his apartment. It took him one second, and then he was all over her.

He held her head in his hands, entwining his fingers in Buffy’s soft hair as he kissed her just to show her how much he wanted her to stay the night. Buffy reacted fast and banded her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her, well, as close as they could get with the gear shifter in the way.

Spike hungrily nibbled on her lips and let a hand trail down from her hair to gently trace the outlines of her thighs. Buffy let out a gasp into his mouth and pulled away from his to catch her breath, letting Spike continue to kiss along her jaw meanwhile.

“Spike…” She moaned and closed her eyes briefly, suddenly forgetting what she wanted to say.

“Hm…”

“Maybe… maybe we should get inside…”

Spike pulled away from her jaw, also in need to catch his breath. He placed a strand of hair behind her ear and tilted his head.

“Or… we could always stay here.” He raised an eyebrow and tucked his tongue behind his teeth. “The backseat is pretty big…”

Buffy playfully slapped him across the chest. “Pig.”

“You know it,” he smirked.

“Actually, I think I saw one of your neighbors looking out the window towards us so I don’t think that is a good idea… today,” she added.

“Ah,” Spike replied, “the one on the first floor? Mrs. Lockhart?”

“That’s the one.”

Spike nodded and then opened the door. “Then we better go like… right now.”

“And when we’re inside, maybe we could find that old rabbit suit…” Buffy said as she reached for the door knob. Spike froze in his movements and Buffy had to suppress the urge to laugh at the terrified look on his face until she got out of the car, before Spike could stop her.

“What the bloody hell are you… Oh god. I’m gonna kill Chelsea…”

There'll be some angst in the next chapter, and maybe you will finally find out who the mystical phone caller is... :) Thanks for reading!

Chapter 32 - Expect The Unexpected

Spike’s hand was grasping Buffy’s tightly in his hand as they walked the streets of the small town, almost a week later, doing some grocery shopping. Well, almost just grocery shopping. It was hard, Buffy realized, when she hadn’t had any time to check the rest of the stores. Especially when there seemed to be sales in each and every one of them.

It was so unlike her to not have spent all her money on clothes and other things by now, she had after all been in Cornwall for almost nine weeks.

Nine weeks.

Buffy couldn’t help but feel a little melancholy when thinking about that and she’d done it a whole bunch during the few last days. It was almost time to go home and she didn’t want to. Really, really didn’t want to. She loved it here with Spike, Lily, Willow, Tara, Giles… Everyone. Of course, she missed her family and friends back home but somehow this new place had made such a strong impression on her that she didn’t exactly long to be going home again.

School would start again and she’d go back to her normal life. Without Spike.

She knew that it would happen eventually, but she had been avoiding the thought for as long as possible. Now, it was almost not possible with so little time left.

Buffy was snapped back to present when she felt Spike’s warm hand embrace hers a little more. She glanced at him with a smile on her face.

“Thought I lost you there for a moment,” Spike said and Buffy blushed a little.

“Sorry, lost in my own little world I guess,” she answered as they were coming closer to the grocery store. Spike nodded and followed her gaze, somehow knowing that she wasn’t telling him everything. But on the other hand, he hadn’t told her everything either.

He knew that soon she’d be leaving and they still hadn’t had a chance to talk about it. Well, that wasn’t true. They’d had weeks of chances to talk but neither of them had, always pushing the subject away and decided to ‘live in the moment’.

Spike was starting to get worried that it wasn’t the right choice, to just procrastinate the subject and yet he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Honestly, he was almost scared, scared that she’d laugh right into his face for thinking that… Well, what was he thinking?

All he knew was that he didn’t want to lose her and he was slowly doing just that by ignoring the big talk.

I will do it. Tonight, he decided as they entered the small store, feeling more determined now but somehow he knew that it would change tonight. He’d be terrified again and probably screw it up – but this was it. He had to. He didn’t even know when she was going home for god’s sake. He had to know, wanted to know.

It will be okay.

They had decided to cook dinner at Spike’s apartment for them and Lily later on, therefore all the shopping of delicious food. Buffy picked up a basket and together they started to walk through the store, selecting the different ingredients that were needed for their meal.

“Buffy, I was meaning to talk to you later, I –“

“Oh, look at that little cutie!” Buffy squealed and put her hand to her mouth, interrupting whatever Spike was going to say as she grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the shelf, full of small stuffed up animals.

Spike held his breath as he followed her, pushing back the thoughts of preparing her for what he wanted to talk about tonight. He put on a smile as Buffy picked up a pink elephant, grinning like a mad man.

“Cute, huh?”

“Almost cuter than you, pet,” Spike told her with an arched eyebrow. Buffy slapped his chest and pouted.

“You’re mean.”

“Oh, look at that lip,” Spike teased and leant forward, resting his forehead against hers with a smile on his lips as he slowly got closer and closer to her lips. He was merely inches away when Buffy pushed him away, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Nope, Spikey. You’re evil, that equals no kisses.”

Spike pouted the most adorable pout she’d ever seen and couldn’t help but let out a chuckle and place a consoling kiss on his cheek. “Sorry, honey. You’ll have to make it up to me,” she added with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows. His eyes darkened as he watched her.

“And how do you propose I do it?”

Buffy took a step closer to him, standing so close to him she could feel the warmth of his chest as she smiled mischievously. “I have few suggestions, but… I’ll tell you them tonight,” she finished and stepped away from him, feeling her heart beat faster as she heard his low growl.

“You better,” he murmured. Buffy turned around with a smile and pressed the elephant to his face. “

“Don’t you think that Lily would just love this one?”

Spike tilted his head. “Maybe. But I do know she likes dogs all the more.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose and glanced at the yellow dog. “You think she would want a yellow dog?”

“You think she’d want a pink elephant?” Spike replied, one arched eyebrow.

“See your point,” Buffy nodded with a pensive expression on her face as she put back the dog and the elephant. “But I still think the elephant is cute.”

“Know you do. How about the tiger up there? The only one looking as it’s supposed to.”

Buffy followed his gaze to the shelf again and smiled in satisfaction. “That’s the one!”

”Glad we finally agreed on something,” Spike sighed and earned a scowl from Buffy.

“We ‘fought’ about two seconds.”

“Two seconds too much.”

Buffy shook her head as she turned back to the shelf and reached one hand up to the upper shelf were it was placed when she suddenly felt a weird sense of dizziness fall over her. She stopped, half there, stilling her movements as she tried to focus on the things in front of her.

Spike frowned worriedly at her and tilted his head to the side. “Buffy? You okay?”

She shook her head. “Fine, just felt a little…”

Trying to prove him she was right, she reached up again and grabbed the animal just as she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She let out a little gasp and dropped both the animal and the basket full of groceries to the floor which fell out of it as she stepped backwards, the dizziness coming back in double form.

The last thing she heard before falling to the ground was Spike calling her name, then all went black.

---

The constant and steady beeping of a machine slowly woke her up from sleep. She tried to open her eyes but they felt too heavy. Groaning slightly, she closed them again, hearing small noises in the background that sounded like someone walking on the floor, towards her.

By cure curiosity she tried to open her eyes again and succeeded this time, although it took her eyes a few moments to focus on the surroundings. Why was everything so blurry?

“Spike?” She mumbled as she saw the figure of a person moving around the room. Blinking a few times as the person spoke she realized that it wasn’t Spike’s voice, it was a woman’s.

“Miss Summers? I’m glad you’re awake. I’ll call on the doctor right the way.”

Buffy frowned and shook her head. “W-what… what doctor?”

“You’re at the hospital, honey,” the female voice said and Buffy could finally make out the person as a young woman in her early twenties with a kind smile on her face.

“At the hospital?” Buffy repeated in disbelief and tried to sit up, only to groan as she felt a strong headache approaching. “You sure I’m not just hung over?”

The nurse chuckled and helped Buffy lie down again. “You fainted and hit your head during the fall. Do you remember anything of it?”

“No, I… Well, yes, I was in the store with my friend but then it’s all gone.”

“That’s not so strange, you fell in the store. You’re friend drove you here.”

“Spike,” Buffy whispered and glanced about the room without any sign of him. “I-is he here?”

The nurse nodded. “He’s in the waiting room. I will tell him that you’re awake once the doctor has had a little talk with you. I’ll be right back.”

Before Buffy could say anything else the woman was out of the door and shut it with a little thud. Buffy groaned and closed her eyes again. What’s wrong with me? I’ve never fainted like that before. I must have low blood pressure…

This is embarrassing, Spike must think I’m so lame, fainting all over the place, she mocked herself, tiling her head to the other side. It didn’t take long until the door was opened once again, this time by an older woman with long dark hair and a warm smile that made Buffy instantly feel very safe.

“Hello, Miss Summers. I’m Doctor Dana Gellar. How are you feeling?”

”Like someone decided to throw a rock on my head, and let me tell you, a big rock.”

The doctor laughed and made her way over to Buffy and sat down in the chair beside her bed. “That’s because of the fall. Does it hurt anywhere else?”

Buffy felt after for a second before shaking her head no.

“Good, then I don’t think you’ll have any after-effects from the fall,” she said and wrote down something in her note block.

“So I can go home?” Buffy asked and the doctor nodded.

”Yes you can. But before that, I would want you to fill out some papers and – ”

“Sure,” Buffy said and slowly moved to sit up, feeling the urge to leave as soon as possible.

“But there’s also something else I’d like to talk to you about,” the doctor said, her expression turning serious.

Buffy glanced up at her face and suddenly got a little worried, the woman had recently given her so promising sights she felt extremely light-hearted, now that feeling was disappearing. Quickly.

“Does it have to do with why I fainted?” She wondered. “I could have eaten too little. I usually eat pretty regularly but I have been skipping meals this week. Or maybe I have low blood pressure – “

Buffy rambled on and the doctor shook her head. “I don’t think it’s because of what you’ve not eaten, Buffy.”

Buffy felt a deep worry down in her chest and a millions of worst scenarios ran through her head. “W-what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

Is there something seriously wrong with me? What if it’s cancer… Oh god, what if I’m dying? What if I’m…

“You’re pregnant, Buffy.”

Opsi... So, what do you think? :)

Chapter 33 - You’re the Best

Buffy was starting straight ahead, her eyes attached to the wall without really seeing it. If someone could’ve seen her, it would have looked like she was figuring out in which colors she wanted to paint it, or if the wallpaper seemed okay. But if the person in question had looked her in the eyes – he or she would see that she really wasn’t doing that. She was doing nothing at all.

Her eyes were blank, free of any emotion and she might as well have been asleep. She looked so calm when she sat there, but inside her head, there was another thing going on.

She thought she was going crazy. The little voice inside her head that usually made itself known whenever she really did not need it had suddenly duplicated into hundreds of them and they were all screaming different things, making Buffy dizzy.

Pregnant. She was pregnant.

Should’ve figured it out, she thought. I didn’t have my monthly and then the fainting…

Ever since she left the hospital, she had felt like a zombie, walking around because she just had to. She most of all would’ve liked to just lie down and sleep in that uncomfortable bed the hospital offered her, just to think and make things a little bit clearer. But there hadn’t been time for that.

‘I’ll go and get your friend.’

‘Can you do me a favor? Don’t tell him about… about the condition.’

First she hadn’t thought the doctor would listen to her but when Spike entered her room a few minutes later she had seen it in his eyes that he did not know, and he had just been asking about her, worried that she might have hurt herself. He’d given her promising words while gently stroking her hair, promising to take care of her until she felt like her old self again, telling her over and over again how worried he’d been.

But Buffy had barley been listening, she heard the words but didn’t comprehend them. Smiling from time to time, Spike didn’t know that she was just seeing his mouth move without making any noise.

She really didn’t know why she had said that to the doctor, it had just slipped out of her mouth and she hadn’t tried to tell him again. Seeing him kissing her hand while he held it so hard in his own, she couldn’t, just couldn’t.

Buffy glanced down to her hands where they were wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate and tightened the grip. She could almost still feel Spike’s soft lips against it.

‘You’re five weeks along, congratulations. Do you know who the father is?’

If she did.

At first, she couldn’t believe it. Of course she wanted children, she worked with them because she just loved them in every way, but during the circumstances she wasn’t sure that was the absolute brightest decision ever.

God, if it had been Angel… She didn’t want what she would’ve done. Angel was a part of her life she wanted to erase so when the doctor had told her she was five weeks pregnant she had almost let out a sigh of relief, almost. Then the panic came back.

Spike was going to be a father. And she a mother. Mother.

Buffy couldn’t help but let her eyes trail down from the cup towards her stomach in bewilderment. How would Spike react? They weren’t supposed to be something serious, were they? It was just a fling over the summer, something she would’ve looked back on with a nod and thought ‘hey, it was a great time but that was it’. That was the problem, wasn’t it? She would have, but she couldn’t do that now. Not when she was carrying his child.

Before the doctor told her about what was happening, all she wanted was to go home, but after that – staying at the hospital made much more sense. She wouldn’t have to face Spike again and talk to him, he sure would ask about the fainting over and over again. And to be so close to him, to know that she kept a secret from him would just be killing her slowly.

Yet she found herself in his car twenty minutes later, driving her towards her rented house. She’d at least got her wishes about going back to her apartment. Spike wasn’t too keen on the thought of leaving her alone but she had persuaded him that she was fine and he’d finally given up, but not without calling her to make sure she was okay before she went to sleep.

‘It’s really not my place but I can’t seem to notice that you’re not looking extremely… delighted?’

Buffy didn’t know what she was feeling. She was just confused and when the doctor had taken her silence like a ‘no’ to that question she had suggested abortion. That was when Buffy snapped out of it.

‘I won’t kill my baby. It’s already a part of me, I just can’t.’

And she was telling the doctor the truth. She wouldn’t kill it. She would go through the whole thing, with or without Spike’s support.

I’ll have to tell him, Buffy thought and let out a little sigh, I’ll have to tell him tonight. The sooner the better.

Since their dinner was cancelled the other night, Spike had insisted on her coming over today instead and she really couldn’t deny him and after all, he’d notice something was off if she kept avoiding him. That wasn’t the right solution even if it sure felt like the better one. And the less scarier one.

She could see his face in front of her, absolutely terrified at what had happened, how he would start pacing, running his hands over his face and tell her he just wanted a good shag, nothing serious. She could see herself beg him to understand she wasn’t asking him to give everything up, she just wanted to tell him and then he’d start yell at her.

Buffy shivered at the thought. She’d come to like him so much and it hurt her to know that his reaction might not be that happy. She had been happier with him the few weeks they’d had together than she had been with Angel for the last year. But then again, Spike wasn’t her boyfriend, right? They were just… friends with benefits of some sort… They had agreed on living in the moment, so why did she feel so empty and cold when thinking about this?

‘Because you love him.’

Buffy tensed up. The voices in her head had suddenly gathered themselves together and said the four words at the same time. She stared at everything and nothing, letting the words sink in before shaking her head in disbelief.

Oh god… I can’t be in love with him, can I?

‘Of course you can, you’ve been trying to avoid it for weeks now but this whole thing made you see clear. You love him.’

God dammit, those stupid voices were killing her. She couldn’t love him, sure, care for him but not love him. She would leave soon and he wouldn’t want to be with her anymore. At least, she didn’t think he would.

‘Well, you don’t know until you’ve asked, do you?’

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Buffy placed the cup on the table in front of her and wrapped her arms around her as she came to a decision.

I will tell him tonight.

---

Everything was looking perfect and Spike couldn’t help but feel a bit proud of himself for doing such a good job. He’d been cleaning the whole apartment, remembering that Buffy had told him a few days ago that it looked a bit dirty.

And unlike what he’d done before, when he brought girls to his apartment he listened to her. He’d never done anything like that for another woman, apart from Cecily and Drusilla. The girls he had taken home during his so called ‘man slut’ time had just been… available. He saw no future with them, just someone he could share the night with.

But Buffy was different. She was the one.

He groaned and almost slapped himself for letting the poet in him get to the surface. That was one thing he loved about Buffy, she could bring out William and he didn’t feel ashamed.

Spike eyes snapped open as he realized what he had thought and he stopped dead in his tracks.

‘Loved? No, that can’t be right, it just slipped, I don’t… I can’t…’

He shook his head, trying to forget ignore his inner battle and instead went into the kitchen to do the dishes. But it didn’t take him long until he had to skip the rest of the cleaning, the thought was bothering him too much and he let out a deep sigh and lent his back to the kitchen door.

He hadn’t loved anyone since Drusilla, not once, and there was a reason behind that. He didn’t want to get hurt again, the thing with Drusilla had almost killed him. He didn’t want to risk falling back again by being in love…

‘I’m just imagining… It’s just because I’m worried about her. I don’t… love her.’

Well, the part about being worry was most definitely true. Only once in his life had he felt a worry like that race through him, when Buffy fell, and that was when he found his mother in the bathroom. When the nurse who had tried to calm him down in the waiting room had told him that he’d have to wait outside, Spike had paced so much he started to think he’d break the floor.

That gotta be it. The worry is just messing with my head. And then the whole thing about her going back to America. Shit, I’ll have to talk to her tonight…

Spike ran a hand through his hair as if hoping to clear it a little when the phone made itself known. Grabbing the wireless phone, Spike picked it up and answered.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Giles?”

Frowning a bit Spike answered pending tone. “Yeah… Who’s asking?”

“Mr Giles, my name is Warren Meyers. Maybe you have heard of me?”

Raising an eyebrow, Spike was starting to wonder what the hell this was all about. “Uh… No, I can’t say I have.”

The man on the other end seemed a little surprised as he let out a ‘oh’, apparently not expecting that answer. “Well, then I will tell you exactly who I am. I’m Warren Meyers; I work at an agency in America.”

“What kind of agency? Oh, are you the one who’s been trying to make contact with Lily Simmons's mother?”

“Sadly, no, I’m not. But I did hear of that, very… heroic I might say, that you took care of the little girl. Will make you even more popular. The tabloids will love it.”

“What are you…”

“I’ve been trying to contact you for a little more than a week now to offer you the chance of a lifetime.”

Spike was quiet for a few moments, thinking this person was really out of his bloody mind. What the hell was he talking about? He shook his head and closed his eyes for a few seconds before answering. “Sorry… What? What chance?”

“Now, before you answer, I really want you to think this through. It’s one hell of a chance, one of those you get once in a lifetime.”

“Spit it out, already,” Spike muttered, not really feeling in the mood to chat with this Warren whatever the hell his name was, he needed to get started with the food and then pick up Buffy. He was just about to say that when the man on the other end talked.

“Patience, patience,” he mocked with a chuckle. “Would you want to say that to your new coach?”

“Coach?”

“I have talked with a few people after watching you surf and I’m calling to offer you a place in a surfing tournament, and not just a tournament, but the one.”

Spike was speechless and suddenly let out a laugh. “You gotta me kidding me.”

Warren seemed slightly surprised, judging by the tone of his voice. “No… I’m not. You’re the best there is, you’ll make it big if you join this competition and the winner gets the greatest price, plus the fame. Don’t you want to do that? See the world?”

“I don’t get it… How could you, I mean, why would you choose me?” Spike mumbled, stumbling on his words.

“I already told you that. You’re the best, and if you just get out of the small town and get the chance to show the world how good you are, you’ll be famous. I talked to my boss, he thinks you’re the right person for the last place in this tournament. So what do you say?”

Chapter 34- Should I Stay?

When Spike came to pick Buffy up later that night she sensed something was going on with him. He seemed… elated as he drove the old black Desoto towards his apartment. For a moment she was worried he might suspect what was going on with her, but then it would only be easier for her to explain everything for him, wouldn’t it?

Maybe, but she never got that answer because when she got a good look at his face she could tell it was something else. If he had known she was pregnant, with his child, he wouldn’t have that weird smile on his lips. Right? Shouldn’t he be disappointed with her for not telling him at least? Yeah, that’s what she thought and that was proof enough for Buffy to make the decision that he did not know.

But something was up.

His rhythmic thumping with his fingers against the steering wheel and the slight humming he had going made her sure that whatever was on his mind was happy thoughts and the flashing smile was just the finishing touch.

“Spike?” Buffy tried and tilted her head to the side as she watched him turn his head towards her.

He grinned at her and then let his eyes wander back to the road. “Yeah, pet?”

“Uh… Are you, uh... I mean, is everything all right with you?” She asked with pensively with an arched eyebrow. Buffy watched Spike turn back to her with a confused expression on his face, but that did not erase his happy smile.

“What do you mean?”

Buffy almost started to stutter against her own will and she had to smack herself mentally to stabilize her voice. “I just… You seem awfully… cheery?”

Okay, now you’re creeping me out, she thought for herself as the grin only widened at that statement.

“Well, maybe I am.”

“Care to tell me why?” Buffy asked sweetly which made Spike turn his head back to her, entranced by her amazing small smile. His eyes stayed attached to her face for a few moments, taking in her beautiful profile. Her golden hair was glowing as the sun hit it through the windows of the car and made her Californian natural tan look even more enthralling.

“Well?” Buffy intrigued and Spike had to snap out of his admiration.

“I’ll tell you…” He started and finished with an evil smirk, “but not now.”

Buffy pouted but accepted his reply, not seeing Spike’s lustful eyes follow her as she looked straight forward again as they were approaching Spike’s building.

Damn, woman, do you know what you do to me?

---

“This was delicious, Spike,” Buffy complimented later that evening, picking up her napkin and carefully drawing it over her mouth to make sure there weren’t any rests left from the meal.

Spike smiled back at her. “Thank you. I’m glad you liked it.”

“Have you ever thought about being a chef?”

“Nah,” Spike said pensively, “I enjoy doing it but I don’t think I’d stand to work in a kitchen 24/7 for the rest of my life. That’s not really my thing.”

“I can understand that, you’re not one who’d be sitting in an office either. You belong outside, or in the studio with the band,” she added with a slight roll of her eyes that only made Spike chuckle.

“Thought you said you liked my music.”

“I do,” Buffy said, “it’s just so… you, I guess.”

“Me?” Spike frowned and she nodded, picking up her fork and started pushing the remaining food around on her plate.

“Yeah, you know the bad boy image and the music. It’s just so you.”

Spike laughed. “I’m not really following you around that bend, love, but I guess I’ll take it as a compliment?”

“Definitely,” Buffy smiled evilly and then glanced back to her plate again, sensing the uncomfortable feeling slowly approaching again as the silence fell over the room. For a few minutes she had been able to forget about it and everything seemed like it was, just a week ago. But nothing lasts forever.

I have to do it. It’s now or never, she thought with a racing heart. Better get it over with, right? But what if he reacted like in her nightmares? She wasn’t sure she could take being rejected like that. He may think that it was all too soon and too complicated, they had after all only known each other for a few weeks even if it felt like an eternity. Buffy knew that if he didn’t want to be in this baby’s life she would respect that. She made a choice of having it, one that Spike couldn’t decide.

I can’t get my hopes up. He already has Lily as his responsibility and even if she’s an angel she can be a hand full. Would Spike really be up for helping her out with another one? And where would they live? She had her family in the states and he lived here. Buffy knew he wouldn’t want to leave his family, especially not after what had happened with his mother. Spike felt some sort of responsibility for Chelsea even if that was Giles’s territory but it was understandable.

And money? Where would they get money from?

So many questions with no answer, she needed one right now.

“Spike…”

“Buffy…”

The pair looked up at each other and opened their mouths for a few seconds, waiting for the other one to continue, but then burst out laughing as they realized the silliness of the situation.

“You go first,” Spike said, waving at her with his hand in order for her to continue but Buffy shook her head.

“No, it’s not that important,” Buffy replied. Liar.

Spike seemed to hesitate for a moment before he ponderingly answered. “Alright.” He scooted the chair closer to the table and clasped his hands together, unclenching and clenching them. Buffy found herself staring at the scene his hands were performing before she snapped out of it and instead glanced to his face, his very… troubled face.

A frown appeared between her eyebrows as she tilted her head. “What is it?”

Buffy saw how he clenched his jaw and kept his eyes downcast for a few more moments without answering. Finally he looked up and met her eyes.

“Buffy, there’s something I have to tell you.”

Fear filled her chest at that statement but she nodded and tried not to show it. “Fair enough.”

“I had a call the other day,” he started.

“A call?” Buffy’s eyes widened. “Oh, please don’t tell me it was Angel. Or my dad. I thought he had changed! Well, not Angel… He is and will always be a prick, but my father really seemed to understand that – “

“Buffy, no,” Spike said shaking his head, barley able to prevent the smile from reaching his lips. She was adorable when she rambled. “It’s not about that.”

Buffy still seemed uncertain and looked at him suspiciously. “No?”

“No. As a matter of fact, it was a call from abroad, but not from someone you know. I haven’t told anyone about this yet, Buffy, but I thought you would be the first one to know.”

As she kept her eyes glued to Spike’s form the frown didn’t disappear. She couldn’t make out whether he was nervous, happy or angry and it was starting to freak her out. By the way that he kept glancing away from her she was fearing the worst.

He let out a deep sigh and shifted his weigh on his forearms. “Buffy…”

Definitely a worst case scenario.

“What is it?”

But then his actions surprised her. She even flinched as the beam graced his lips in the biggest smile she had ever seen, one that reached his eyes and made them sparkle with happiness.

“Spike…?”

“I got a contract!”

Whatever she was going to say was forgotten when she heard him break the news and her mouth was left ajar in clear shock. A contract? He had gotten a contract? But that’s good news, Buffy thought confused as her brain tried to make out all the new information, he’s finally been discovered by some agent who wants his music.

“Oh my god, congratulations, Spike!” Buffy smiled and leant over the table to squeeze his hands. “That’s so great, I knew you’d finally break through.”

Spike was grinning like a mad man and Buffy had to suppress the urge to laugh at his childish expectations. He squeezed her hand in appreciation and then stood up, obviously to hyper to be able to sit down. He started pacing the room and ran a hand through his hair, still with the smile plastered to his face.

“I still can’t believe this…” He said, more to himself than to Buffy. “Sure, I have always been sort of dreaming about getting a contract but I never thought I’d actually get one, you know?”

Buffy nodded and waited for him to really let the fact sink in.

“And I’m so glad you were this supportive about it,” he added and finally came to a stop in front of her. Buffy frowned at him and stood up from her chair to meet him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Buffy curiously asked with a tilt of her head.

Spike looked at her for a moment and then reached his hand out to run a hand through her golden hair. Buffy couldn’t help but close her eyes at the feeling of his hands touching her hair. Soon his hand, however, ran to her cheek and caressed his softly, making her look at him.

“I don’t know, I was just… I thought since we only just started hanging out and…” At loss of words, Spike let out a frustrated sigh and smiled at her. “I honestly don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

“Me neither,” she laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, but she pulled away before it would get carried away and put her arms around his neck instead. “I’m really happy for you, Spike. I know how much you love to sing and this chance you got is – “

“Wait, what?”

Buffy watched his face crumble into a frown as he stared at her. “Huh?”

“What did you say?”

“I said I was happy for you,” Buffy repeated, a little confused by his sudden change. “People will love to hear your voice, it’s truly beautiful.”

“Buffy…” Spike began shaking his head. “I won’t be singing.”

Now it was Buffy’s time to frown. “Oh, so you will be playing the guitar? Well, that’s great, too, you sure are a talent.”

“No,” he interrupted abruptly, “Buffy, it has nothing to do with music.”

“No? But you said you got a contract and I thought you –“

“I got a call from a Lindsey McDonald, he offered me a place in a surfing tournament.” When Buffy didn’t answer anything, just looked at him in bewilderment he continued, once again letting the grin spread out on his lips. “It’s one of the biggest competitions in the world, Buffy! And they choose me!”

Buffy felt like a fish on land, gasping for air. She tried to clear her throat and barley managed to choke out an answer. “Oh, I just assumed it was…”

Spike didn’t seem to notice Buffy’s nervousness as he continued to ramble. “Apparently he was here in Cornwall during the competition fiasco. He saw me surf when I tried to get to Connor and took pictures of it.”

“He did? How come we didn’t notice him?”

“He was standing further away,” Spike explained eagerly. “And when Lindsey got home he talked to his bosses and they all agreed on letting me take this chance.”

“Did you…” Buffy began, already knowing the answer. “Did you say yes?”

“Of course I did!” Spike exclaimed and Buffy couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her heart. “This is a chance of a lifetime. I wanted you to be the first one to know.”

Buffy was trying to collect her thoughts as he kept smiling at her. If he was going to join this competition, then he would be away for a long time, wouldn’t he? Sure, Buffy wasn’t aware of all the rules and such as in the surfing world. All she knew she had learnt from Spike, but she suspected those competitions weren’t just for a day or two. More like weeks.

Being snapped back to reality by Spike calling her name, she forced a smile and swallowed. “That’s amazing, Spike. Uh, for how long will you be gone?”

“It starts off in three months and ends five months later.”

“Ten months?” Buffy cried out in shock but instantly flinched at her voice. “Ten months?”

Spike was happy. She could see it in his eyes, in his body language… Everything just screamed clear happiness about him and she couldn’t believe she was actually just standing here and acting like a spoiled little brat.

Of course he would be happy, he’d been stuck in Cornwall for the most of his life. When a chance like this strikes he wouldn’t miss it for the world… And not for me, she added dreadfully.

“I doesn’t really matter if I win or not, I mean just the publicity would help me for the rest of my life and the money… It’s amazing, I can’t believe it really happened,” he ended with a dreamy smile, looking at her and waiting for her reaction. “Don’t you think?”

I can’t tell him.

“Sure I am,” Buffy told him, suddenly feeling dizzy. She needed to get out of here and now. “Uh, listen I think I’m gonna head back to my place.”

Buffy felt her heart ache when his smile fell from his face and instead was replaced by a puzzled and disappointed expression. “Buffy?”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” She continued as she went to pick up her purse. Spike watched her walk around the room to collect her things and when she finally turned around to face him again he couldn’t make out if she was actually telling him the truth.

“Are you okay?” He asked worriedly.

“Never been better. I just need to rest a bit, the doctors told me to,” she lied. “It’s been a long day so I think I’ll just get some rest.”

When Spike gave her a disbelieving look she offered him a reassuring smile and caressed his cheek softly. “I’m fine, Spike. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Spike caught her hand and pressed his palm to hers. “I can drive you home.”

But she shook her head. “No, I need the fresh air. Believe me, I can take care of myself,” she added.

Letting out a breath of defeat Spike nodded. “All right, then. Call me in the morning?”

“Always. See ya.” Buffy started to walk out of the room, feeling like the room was overheated and that she needed to get out as soon as possible. But she only got a few metres away before she felt Spike grabbed her arm and turn her back towards him.

“Spike, I – “

Her words were silenced by Spike’s lips crashing down on hers, draining her on every small willpower that were left. He ran his tongue over her lips and she parted them to allow him access, making them moan in unison.

But it all ended just too soon when breathing started to become a problem and they were forced to pull apart. Spike leant forward and rested his forehead on hers, touching her cheeks with his hands. “Call me?” He asked with a small smile.

Buffy bit her lip and nodded with tears in her eyes as she dislodged herself from his arms and went out of the room, out of his life.

---

She was surprised she didn’t cry until she got to her place, but as she actually did cry she couldn’t stop. The tears fell as she quietly sobbed against the pillow in her bed, squeezing it harder and harder.

Why didn’t I just tell him? She kept questioning herself but she knew the answer and she knew Spike. If she would have told him about the baby then he would have skipped the competition, everything. And even if that made everything so much simpler Spike wouldn’t have been happy about it in the end and Buffy would have felt bad for it, for the rest of her life.

I can’t be that selfish.

Inhaling sharply and trying to gather herself again she closed her eyes. What am I supposed to do now?

One thing she knew for sure, that if she stayed here she would fail and tell him. Therefore, she needed to leave. Leave this country.

Her heart clenched as she realized what she was leaving behind, friends, a place she loved… and a man she most definitely loved even more. But it was all for the better, right? If she left now she wouldn’t have to deal with talking to Spike in the morning. There shouldn’t be too much of a problem to get an earlier flight away.

Oh, god… I’m actually doing this on my own…

She knew she’d have to tell Spike someday because it was just plain unfair if she kept the fact from him that he had a son or a daughter. But she would tell him after this whole surfing thing was over, maybe after that she would find the courage to finally say what she wanted to.

I won’t keep him from getting what he wants, and that’s the surfing.

With that, Buffy started to pack her belongings.

Chapter 35 - Made Up My Mind

To say Spike was worried was an understatement. He was beyond that, and the more time went on, the more anxious he got.

Buffy had acted weird earlier, strangely weird. For the last couple of days she’d seemed off, not really herself anyway. And then at dinner everything had felt like it used to – until the point when he was about to break the news.

Come to think of it, she had actually also wanted to share something with him, something he hadn’t gotten the chance to hear before she rushed out of the house.

That was the second weird thing she’d done that night. Buffy had actually seemed happy about Spike’s opportunity at first, saying that he deserved it and all. But when she realized it was about surfing, everything changed. Why? Did it really matter?

Have no bloody clue, he sighed to himself as he was lying slouched out in the sofa. And now they hadn’t had time to talk about the stuff, and with that being said the things about them. Spike had spent the last day thinking everything out. He would talk to her, tell her how he felt about her and then they would decide what to do with their lives after that. If she felt the same, that is, and how weird it may have sounded – he kind of knew she felt something for him, too. Maybe not love, but something and that was enough right now.

Was she upset because he was going to be away for so long? Or was it because he just told her out of the blue? The thing was, the time away from each other wouldn’t be a problem. Of course he’d miss her terribly, but Spike had called Lindsay earlier that day and asked if it was possible for him to come home in between the competitions. It was going to cost him a lot, but it would indeed be possible.

And there it was. His plan. His plan which right now seemed utterly screwed up.

“Bloody hell, who am I kidding?” He murmured and rolled his eyes at himself. “I gotta go talk to her in the morning.”

---

And so he did. The next morning he was up early but he couldn’t bring himself to actually go until the time was almost eleven.

Anxiously he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the music blasting out of the speakers, slightly humming for himself. Even if this was some kind of relief, to actually go talk to her, he couldn’t deny that he was nervous.

What if she ditches me? Maybe she wasn’t planning on this being a real relationship? Maybe she…

As Spike turned into the front porch of her little cottage he could feel that something was wrong. The lights were off, drawn curtains and the backyard seemed to have been cleaned up. Pushing away his worries, he went for the door and knocked on it, lightly at first.

He waited for a few seconds and then frowned when he didn’t get an answer. She should be up by now, he thought while glancing at his clock. He shrugged and once again knocked, this time a little harder.

When there was still no response he started to feel a bit panicked, but it was probably nothing right? Maybe she was out for a run or something…

“Buffy!” He couldn’t help but yell while letting his fist connect with the door one last time.

“Oh, for the love of God, can you stop that bleeding sound?”

Spike’s eyes widened as he heard a voice, for a moment thinking it was Buffy before he realized the sound came from behind. Confused, he turned around and was met by the neighbor lady who was standing on her veranda, glaring at him madly with her arms crossed over her chest.

Embarrassed Spike ran a hand through his hair and put on a smile. “I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

The old lady scoffed soundly. “Oh, you are? What are you doing? Not everyone is as young and healthy as you youngsters.”

“I’m very sorry, I was only trying to wake up my friend but she seems to be either deep asleep or gone,” Spike finished with a quick glance at the door.

“I would say the last one.”

Snapping his head back to Buffy’s neighbor a frown appeared between his eyebrows. “I-I’m sorry… What did you say?”

Rolling her eyes, the she let out a deep sigh. “I said, I’d reckon the last one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I simply mean that a cab came here and picked her up last night.”

More confused than ever Spike shook his head. “A cab?”

“Yes. Yes, a cab,” she told him, apparently bored. “I just happened to see her while I was up, checking what that awful noise came from and obviously it was the bloody car.”

“You’re saying she left?” Spike choked out. “Where? The airport?”

The neighbor shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, but I guess she did. The girl had her bags with her. I have to say it’s a pity, she was a very loveable girl. Waved goodbye at me,” she added a bit giddy. “So, I think you should better stop that knocking right the way, mister. No one’s going to open it anyway.”

With that she closed the door and left Spike standing on Buffy’s porch with a troubled expression on his face. Shocked, he slumped down on the stairs staring straight ahead.

Oh god. I lost her.

---

2 Months Later

“Spike I’ve been trying to reach you but clearly you haven’t heard my messages. Anyway, call me as soon as possible. Tara and I miss you.”

Click.

“Spike, can you come down to the bar sometime this week? I’ve been wanting to talk to you. And Lily misses her home. Call me!”

Click.

“Oh, for god’s sake, Spike! Don’t you understand what you’re doing to Lily? She’s been abandoned twice in her life, she doesn’t need you of all people to follow her parents’ footsteps!”

Click.

“Spike, listen to me. I know about Buffy. She came by and talked to me before she left. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. Please, call me back. You’re starting to freak me out. And the kids miss their coach. Please, Spike.”

Letting out a deep sigh Spike deleted the last message from Willow and slumped down in the couch once more for what felt like the hundredth time during the last two months. The last two months with no Buffy.

He had never felt this down before and it scared him. He had tried to go back to the life he was used to when he found out that Buffy had left but it didn’t work. As much as it disturbed him; he missed her. Missed hanging out with her, missed kissing her, missed waking up with her on his side…

He may not be the same William as he once was but pieces of him were still there, close to his heart. The awful poet in him was dying to write something, anything but Spike did everything in his power to pull him back. If he was going to write something it had to be a song and not poetry.

But Spike didn’t feel like doing that either. He didn’t feel like doing much at all these days. Lily had been spending a lot of time with Willow and Tara because he didn’t want her to see how depressed he was. But obviously it was starting to effect her in a bad way.

Covering his face with his hand Spike let out another deep sigh. If he didn’t try to change into the person he once was, there would be consequences, starting with Lily. He loved the little girl and didn’t want her to suffer just because he was too selfish to pull himself together.

That was one reason to why Spike had sent her to Willow and Tara for the time being.

When the phone started to ring again he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, knowing it was Willow even without answering. He had good friends that cared for him, and what did he do? Suddenly shame filled his heart and he made a quick decision.

Walking into the bathroom he stood in front of the mirror and shook his head at what he saw of his reflection. The dark roots were starting to become visible and his locks had the original twist he so badly wanted to straighten out.

Spike’s cheekbones looked even sharper than they usually were at lack of food and hunger. He had to do some changes before he went to see Willow.

---

“I’m sorry, we’re clo – Spike!” Willow shrieked when she got a good look at the person standing in the doorway into the bar. She threw the towel on the bar and ran towards him with a happy smile on her face but when she got closer, the smile faded instantly.

“Not happy to see me?” Spike tried with a slight smile.

“What the hell have you done to yourself?”

“Hey, I’m looking… good.”

Willow raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. How much have you eaten during the last few weeks? A sandwich?”

“That’s not fair, Willow, I – “

“You know what else isn’t fair? What you’ve done to Lily,” Willow declared and Spike sighed.

“I know that but I didn’t want her to see me like the wreck I was, Will. You know I don’t want to harm her in any way.”

“But you do,” Willow snapped and raised a pointing finger at him for good measure. “I know you’re not doing it on purpose but it’s happening anyway. I’m not trying to be insensitive about this whole thing with Buffy, I know it hurts but – “

“What makes you think it’s just about that,” Spike broke her off. She gave him an ‘are you kidding me’-look and sighed.

“You liked her, very much and I know she was really fond of you too,” she replied softly. “It’s only natural for you to be hurting like this.”

Spike opened his mouth to argue but stopped himself half way when he realized that she was actually right. Sighing in defeat he ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe… But I’ll get better, I promise. That’s why I came to talk to you.”

“So this is not about Buffy?” Willow asked, pointing from herself to Spike and back again. He shook his head in denial.

“It’s not.”

“But you miss her?”

“Bloody hell, Willow! What are you trying to make me do?” Spike let out. “Is this some bleeding interrogation?”

Willow nodded knowingly and stated; “You do miss her. Okay. So why aren’t you even trying to get in contact with her?”

“I did!”

“I don’t know much about research and stuff but I wouldn’t call sitting around moping in your apartment while you slowly let your life go under is searching for Buffy.”

“Well, I wouldn’t either,” Spike snapped before he frustrated ran a hand through his hair. He took a steadying breath to try and calm himself down. “And that’s not what I’ve been doing.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s not! I’ve done everything I could, Willow!”

“Like what?”

“Like contacting the company that Buffy rented her house from,“ Spike started and held up his hand in front of her while counting on his fingers as if to prove what he’d done. “They won’t give me any information, I ran towards the airport only to find out that the last flight to America went the night earlier when I was sitting at home planning how I was supposed to tell her how I really felt about her.”

Willow bit her lip and looked at him sheepishly. “I didn’t know that…”

“And I’ve tried to search after her name and guess what? Buffy Summers does not exist.” Willow, who had had her eyes on the ground during the last preach, snapped her eyes back up to him, wide with confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not her real name. There is no such person as Buffy Summers in California, if that’s where she lives, I don’t know. Maybe she even lied about her own name, where she came from…”

“Spike, wait – “

“And Hank Summers probably has a hidden identity because it was impossible for me to find him anywhere so that leaves me back on square one. But don’t you bloody say that I haven’t done anything because I have.”

“Spike! Would you just shut up for a second? I know I may have been too hard on you but I thought you had only been giving it all up.”

“I might as well do just that, there is no way I’m going to make contact with her again, with her fake name and all…”

Willow’s next move surprised him. Even if he was standing there, close to just slump down in the bar and drown his sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels, which he knew she could see, she smiled. The bint’s actually smiling.

“Did you do a search on Buffy Summers?” Willow smirked slightly which only caused him to glare at her.

“Yes, I told you,” he answered confused. “But there was nothing.”

“Well, you didn’t by any chances run the name Elisabeth?”

Spike frowned. “No, why the bloody hell would I do that?”

“Because it’s her name, Spike,” Willow finished and watched a series of emotions play out on Spike’s face.

“Her… her name?”

“Her name. Buffy is only a nick name that her mother’s calling her, she told me a few weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t she tell me about it?”

“She says she likes the name Buffy more, that it suits her.” She shrugged. “Elisabeth was a bit too fancy I guess.”

“Can I borrow your computer?”

A/N: Spike rushes off to the computer... What do you guys think? Please comment :)

Chapter 36 - The Plan

“Please, fasten your seatbelts for take off. We will soon be heading towards sunny California.”

Spike barely heard the captain’s voice in the speakers but he quickly took a hold of the belt and put it on with shaking hands. For good measure, he pulled at it once, twice to see that it was actually holding him in the chair.

Letting his head fall back against the uncomfortable chair, Spike’s eyes drifted shut with a small sigh. He had always hated flying and over the years it hadn’t got better, if only not worse. As soon as he got on the plane he started having second thoughts about his plan and all his instincts were telling him to run as far away from the terrifying plane he could.

Yet, he found himself seated in the armchair, his hands holding on to the armrest so hard that his knuckles were starting to fade into white, matching his ghost white face. He was doing this for one reason only – and that was for Buffy.

It had been a week since Spike found out about Buffy’s real identity and he had almost punched himself to death when he realized how stupid he had been. With a little help from Willow’s computer he found out that Buffy Summers, or Elizabeth Summers to be exact, was living in a small area called Sunnydale in California. And that was where he was headed right now.

He glanced out the window and looked with longing eyes for the safe ground out there as the plane started to move with a hasty movement. Spike closed his eyes and inhaled sharply.

‘Oh, bloody hell, I must be out of my mind for doing this…’

He knew how right it would be when he actually got to Sunnydale, though. He had imagined it, dreamt about it for the last week and still all he could see was Buffy meeting him by her door with a gracious smile on her lips.

But the question was, would it be that simple? Did she want him there at all?

Spike didn’t dare to think about those questions running through his head. He would deal with the problems once and if they showed up. Now – he needed to concentrate on staying alive.

‘I can do this… Think of Buffy, you ponce, it’ll be worth it.’

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we’re just about to take off and I wish you all a pleasant flight.”

‘Oh, bloody, fucking, buggering hell...’

---

“Buffy!”

Buffy turned around at her name being called out through the corridors at Sunnydale High and smiled as she saw principal Woods approaching her.

“Principal Woods,” she greeted him with a slight nod. The young principal pulled a face.

“Ugh, Buffy, you know I prefer Robin, right?”

“I know that, principal Woods,” Buffy continued with emphasis on the title and a little smirk as her eyes traveled to the passing students, “but I believe it would be inappropriate for the guidance counselor to call the principal by his given name in the corridors.”

Robin Woods stared at her as if she was crazy before he started to laugh. “Funny, very funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke,” she simply replied and once again he shot her an annoyed look.

“I think you’ve been in England for too long.”

The mentioning of that land instantly made her remember what she had lost and her heart clench, the smile slowly drifted away from her face. Robin watched her curiously.

“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“Uh, no,” Buffy replied, shaking her head. “Just… memories.”

“Oh, I see,” Robin nodded and his eyes instantly traveled to her rounded stomach. Buffy noticed where his eyes were and suddenly felt the need to cover herself, but she had to be content with crossing her arms over her chest instead to not act too bluntly.

“Anyway, Buffy, I was hoping to talk to you in my office if you have a moment?”

Buffy shrugged. “Sure, Robin.”

A small grin appeared on her colleague and friend’s face. Buffy frowned at him. “What?”

“Your little rule didn’t last long, huh? Now it’s Robin again.”

Rolling her eyes slightly, Buffy gestured with her hand through the now empty corridors. “Look around, principal. You see any students?”

“I’m not getting into another fight with you, come on, let’s go to my office,” he waved it off and started to walk with a laughing Buffy behind him.

When they reached his office door he opened it and let Buffy step inside. She took her place in font of the desk, where usually the students would sit when it was time to get a lecture from the principal.

Robin closed the door and returned to his seat behind the desk and plopped down in the chair with a sigh. Buffy watched him in amusement.

“You getting comfortable yet?”

“Too much. I’m afraid I’ll start living in here, considering how much work there’s been over the last months.”

“It’s been much, yes, but it’s not that bad,” she tried.

“You know what time it is?” He suddenly asked, earning Buffy to scowl at him. “It’s two o’clock and guess how many students I’ve had in here today?”

“I didn’t really count ‘em, but I’d say… about five?”

“Eleven,” Robin corrected her. Buffy’s eyes widened a little and she formed a little ‘oh’ with her mouth with no sound coming out.

“That much…”

“Exactly that much and I can assure you it’s not over yet.”

Buffy worried her bottom lip before answering thoughtfully, “Well, you don’t know that for sure…”

“Wanna bet?”

“Not really, I always lose.”

“I don’t.”

“Good for you.”

The silence fell over the room for a few minutes, making Buffy start to laugh.

“No offence, but did you just bring me in here for small talk or did you actually have something in mind?”

Just as the words left her mouth she realized how wrong they sounded and she quickly closed her mouth. Considering the small history she and Robin had, that was not one of the brightest things to say. Buffy knew the principal still was interested in her but she had told him that since she was his employee it wouldn’t look good if they got together. They had gone on a few dates before she started seeing Angel but she had ended it before it got serious. Buffy enjoyed having him as a friend, but she guessed this was the disadvantage with having your ex as a friend.

“I didn’t mean…”

Robin smiled at her. “I know you didn’t, Buffy, and it’s totally fine.”

“But still, I –“

“Hey, no harm done here,” he interrupted her before she started to ramble again. “I know we couldn’t have a relationship, and I’m perfectly fine with having you as my friend.”

Buffy smiled. “Me too, you’ve been a good friend, Robin.”

“So, back to business,” he started and let his arm bows rest on the desk. “I just wanted to check how you’ll be working here from now on. When is the baby’s due?”

“They haven’t set a date yet but sometime next April,”
Buffy said. “But I promise you I will be working until you won’t be able to stand me any longer.”

“That won’t be a problem,” he laughed. “The thing is, I don’t want you to work off your ass here and risk getting stressed. If you want some time off, just call out.”

Buffy shook her head and insisted. “I want to work, and just because we’re friends you can’t give me privileges like that.”

“I’m not, but I want you to take care of yourself and the little one. You can’t risk the baby’s health.”

“Look, it’s nice that you care, Robin,” Buffy sighed, “but
I can take care of myself without you letting me leave work whenever I want.”

Buffy had always hated it when she was being told what to do, even if there were no offence intended. She knew Robin only wanted what was best for her, but letting her do things the other employees didn’t get to do was not her thing.

“Buffy, I know it’s hard for a single mom to work and take care of a child from experience,” he continued. “Trust me. My mother barley had any time left for me once she got home from work and I practically lived at the kinder garden.”

Buffy started to become a little irritated. “You’re saying I’m doomed to fail?”

“No, that’s not it, and you know it,” he said, looking into her eyes. “You’re my friend, and I care for you. I’m only giving you the chance my mother didn’t get from her boss. I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Robin, thank you, but I have my mom,” she said a little calmer this time, “and my sister. Even my dad and I are getting along. I’m not alone in this.”

“Good, then that’s only a plus,” Robin simply said and clasped his hands together as if the deal was settled and Buffy had to resist the urge to groan.

“I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will, and getting some time off work will only do you good.”

“But – “

“End of conversation.”

“I swear to God, Robin, I’ll –“

“Don’t get upset about it,” Robin said, trying to mask his amusement. “You’re a very independent woman and I admire you for that, but don’t push every help you can get away. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

Realizing she was fighting a losing battle, Buffy finally let out a loud sigh and glared at her friend. “Fine. But don’t think I’ll let you get away with this that easily,” she warned with a pointing finger.

“Not a problem, darling,” he smirked just as a knock on the door took his attention. “Come in.”

The door was opened by Miss Calendar, holding a young boy by the arm who had his eyes on the floor in clear shame. Robin gave Buffy a sight that pretty much said ‘what did I tell you?’ and Buffy couldn’t help but smile.

“What seems to be the problem, Jenny?”

“Mister Fordham here was spending some quality
time in my classroom,” the teacher started with deathly glares at the boy in front of her, “watching porn on the computer before class. He denies it of course but it’s difficult for me to believe him since I personally saw him log into another site as I stood behind him, without him noticing me.”

Robin looked at the boy with disbelief. “And it never stops… This school is doomed, I’ll tell you.”

---

Spike had forgotten all about the statistics that informed him more people died in car accidents than by flying planes as he sat in the cab, moving towards the little town of Sunnydale with a smile on his face. He had actually made it!

All right, barley but still – now he was here, only minutes from Buffy. His stomach actually hurt after being nervous for hours and hours, but to be honest he was even more nervous now than he had been during the flight from England.

Before he left Cornwall Spike had written down all information he might need when he reached Sunnydale such as Buffy’s address, phone number… Willow had told him that she vaguely remembered Buffy mentioning that she had a sister by the name Dawn who lived with her mother. They’d ran a search on Dawn Summers and found out that she was living with a Joyce Summers on 1630 Revello Drive. Just in case, he had written down the address and that was just his luck since when he came to Buffy’s apartment he saw a note over her name on the door saying Cordelia Chase instead.

Spike remembered the name and figured it must be her friend living there and when he’d knocked on the door, an Irish guy had opened the door, telling him that Cordelia was in Los Angeles over the week and that they were living there while their apartment was renovated.

When Spike asked him about Buffy, he became suspicious and didn’t want to leak him any information, only telling him that she probably was at work. He didn’t blame the guy, he would probably have done the same thing if he was in his place.

That left him back at square one with two options. Either he could get to a hotel and try to look Buffy up the day after or he could go to the house were her family probably lived. Being too curious and impatient he had decided for the last one but as the cab pulled to a stop outside the house he started to become nervous.

This was it, if it was the right house that is.

Paying the cab, he stood and looked at the house for a few moments before he walked on shaking legs towards the door.

As she stood in front of it he reached his hand out to the knock but withdrew his hand from it just before his hand met the wooden door. His hand ran through his hair, suddenly remembering that he had spent nearly a day on a plane.

‘I must look like shit…’

Once again running a hand through his hair to get his curls under control, he took a deep breath and decided to do it. He knocked two times and stepped back with his heart drumming hard against his chest.
There was a moment of silence, only the soft sound of the birds’ chirping reached his ears. Then the door opened, by a young girl. She had her chestnut hair in a pony tale and was clad in blue jeans and a black tank top. Her face confirmed his suspicions – this was Buffy’s sister.

“Who are you?” She asked, confused.

“Hi, uh…” He smiled in embarrassment .”I’m… I’m

Sp – uh, William Giles. I’m looking for your sister.”

Dawn studied him for a moment. “You’re English.”

Chuckling slightly, he answered, “Yes, I am.”

“Buffy doesn’t have any British friends.”

“Well, we’ve only known each other for a few weeks,
when she was in Cornwall over the summer and – “

“Wait!” The girl held up her hand to make him stop
talking and watched him with her moment ajar. “You’re… You’re Spike?”

‘She’s talked about me?’

“Yeah, if you prefer that,” he said and started to become a little scared when the girl continued to stare
at him.

“Wow, I didn’t picture you like this.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to take that as a compliment or…?”

“No, no. Just… you’re not the typical guy Buffy would hook up with. Definitely hotter.”

His eyes widened and he began to cough as Dawn laughed at him.

“Right,” he mumbled. “Uh, is Buffy… Does Buffy live here with you?”

“Yeah, she does. Her friends are borrowing her apartment and mom didn’t want her to live alone
during the circumstances. I just don’t get why she doesn’t tell Angel and move in with him, it’s the least he could do, you know?”

Spike shook his head. “What?

‘She’s back together with Angel?’ His heart clenched at that. ‘She’s moved on…’

“My God, I just realize you’re here!” Dawn suddenly exclaimed, putting her hands to her mouth. “Did you come here from England?”

“Obviously,” Spike grinned. “I wanted to visit Buffy, we didn’t really have a chance to say good bye so…”

“She’s gonna be so happy that you’re here. Buffy told me a lot about you. She should be off work by now,” Dawn mumbled and looked at her watch.

“Why isn’t she living with Angel?” Spike dared to ask. If he wouldn’t get the chance to ask Buffy the questions he could might as well ask her sister.

“I guess she hasn’t told him yet… Or that she doesn’t want to. I don’t blame her, he’s a dick according to me.”

“I know what you mean…” Spike mumbled at the memory of the git. “Wait, told him what?”

Dawn looked at him in confusion. “That she’s pregnant of course.”

Spike felt all the air knock out of him, he barley heard the car doors being slammed until he heard the so familiar voice greet her sister and then come to a sudden stop as she spotted the bleached blond standing on the door steps.

He slowly turned around towards the woman he loved and swallowed hard as she stared at him, a hand covering her mouth.

“Spike.”

Chapter 37 - Truth

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God… He’s here! Here-here! In Sunnydale. What the hell is he doing in Sunnydale?

She’s pregnant? And who’s he? Oh, God, she’s beautiful…

Buffy opened her mouth, trying to form the words but… what words? What could she possibly say to him? And on top of it, her throat was absolutely dry.

Spike looked like he was having similar problems, although his eyes were travelling from her face, to her stomach and back again. He was almost imitating a fish on land, chipping for breath, the way his mouth opened and closed over and over again.

Dawn Summers was still standing in the door way, realizing by the way her sister and the British guy were looking at each other that he did not know about Buffy. And Buffy sure didn’t expect to see him here. Feeling awkward by the silence Dawn cleared her throat, trying to get their attention but it was like they couldn’t stop staring at one another.

“Uh, guys? Buffy?” Buffy merely let her eyes meet her sister’s for a second, before they flicked back to Spike. “Buffy, your friend came by and …”

“Buffy, you okay?”

The voice of a man was like a wake up call for Spike and he was ripped away from his staring. His eyes instead moved to the figure moving up behind Buffy, a man.

Buffy, too, had turned around and saw Robin coming towards her, his gaze going to Spike with a questioning look. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, fine, Robin,” Buffy answered, forcing a smile. It did not convince Robin though, and he once again looked at Spike, reaching out his hand.

“I’m Robin Wood.”

“Spike Giles,” Spike mumbled dogged. Robin raised one eyebrow when he heard the British accent come to the surface, slowly realizing who this must be. Turning back to Buffy, he asked:

“You didn’t mention your friend was coming over, then I would’ve let you go earlier.”

Feeling the need to look away from Spike she insisted on meeting her friends stare instead. “I didn’t know he was coming,” she mumbled.

“Is that right?”

Spike felt the need to step in. “Yeah, I came uninvited. I was… I wanted to surprise Buffy and visit her. But I guess that I got the bigger surprise…” He finished, almost a whisper but still loud enough for them to hear him.

Buffy felt her face heat up. “Robin, listen, can I call you later? I… I need to talk to Spike here.”

The principal nodded, knowingly. “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” He kissed her on the cheek and then left the trio in silence once again. Spike couldn't help but feel jealous as the man seemed to be so close to Buffy.

“So, uh… As interesting as this is I think I may be going inside to… Uh, well… I’ll just go,” Dawn murmured and slowly approached the entrance, closing the door after her.

Spike scratched his neck, uncomfortable by the awfully awkward silence that surrounded them. “So, uh…”

“Spike, what… What are you doing here?”

He forced a tense smile. “What, you don’t call, don’t write… Just wanted to check how you were doing cause we haven’t really talked since…”

Trailing off Buffy felt like dirt for causing the man she loved this obvious pain, because even if he was a good actor and hid it pretty well she could see it in his eyes. He was heartbroken. A part of her was glad he cared for her so much but the other half, the bigger one, told her how selfish and cruel she’d been.

“Yeah…” Buffy mumbled, still in her own thoughts. “Listen, Spike. I know you must be wondering why I left and I owe you a big explanation but – “

“I did wonder,” Spike interrupted, watching her closely until she noticed where his eyes were going. She also looked at her rounded stomach and back at him. “But I understand now.”

Buffy frowned. “You do?”

“Although, a premonition would’ve been nice. Could’ve spared the confusion…” Feeling like he was thirteen years old again he slowly looked away with a shy smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. All that was written in them were pain.

“I’m sorry, I… Can, can we not do this on the front porch?” She asked, feeling several curious faces watch the couple from the nearby houses. Spike nodded and she smiled at him gratefully. She walked past him towards the front door and he followed her inside.

Seated in the living room Spike clasped his hands together and rested his arm on his shaking knees. Why am I so nervous about this? It shouldn’t be too hard, I just want an explanation…

Buffy had disappeared with a quick apology concerning her sister and Spike supposed she wanted to be able to talk to him alone and not risk her sisters young, curious ears overhear them.

He looked about the room and took it in. It really felt like a home, nice and comfy. Not like his apartment did, he realized. This was a personal room, carefully decorated. He guessed it must be her mom who had done it.

Hearing footsteps coming from the stairs, Spike’s heartbeat increased rapidly, her appearance didn’t make the matter better either. She had changed from her working suit to a pair of jeans and a large sweater which was saying ‘Sunnydale High’ on it. Spike thought that it must have been from her own time at the school. Buffy’s hair was hanging loosely around her shoulders and it made her look like an angel. No matter how baggy clothes or messed up hair she would have – she’d always be beautiful.

Buffy clasped her hands together nervously and spotted an empty chair in front of him, by purpose ignoring the empty seat on the sofa. Although he knew it was probably easier if she wasn’t sitting too close to him, he couldn’t help but feel his heart clench.

“So, uh… How’s everything in Cornwall?” Buffy started and Spike met her eyes, debating with himself whether to tell her he’d been a wreck for the past weeks. Finally deciding on not to, he shrugged.

“It’s all right, I guess.”

“Surfing?” Buffy got out, the simple word making her heart clench as she remembered the day she realized they couldn’t be together.

“Practice hasn’t been going that well lately, actually,” he mumbled. “My friend’s helping the kids out at the moment.”

“Oh…”

“And you?”

“Good, good… Much to do at work, though. I don’t know what’s gotten into the kids, really. I’ve had more students in my office the last weeks than I’ve ever had.”

“You work with that man?” Buffy gave him a questioning look. “The guy who was here earlier, Robin or whatever his name was.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, realizing who he was referring to as she studied the weird look on his face. Was he jealous? “He’s my boss, and friend.”

“Just friend?” Spike asked, not being able to hide the jealousy from clouding his voice.

“Just my friend,” she clarified and Spike nodded. But there was still one question he dreaded to ask but he knew it was coming.

“Willow didn’t tell me you were coming,” Buffy said before he could ask. Spike tilted his head with a furrowed expression.

“You talked to Willow?”

“Yeah, she called me earlier today. Just wanted to check how I was doing, I guess.”

“Does… Does she know you’re uh…”

He trailed off, his hands gesturing towards her stomach. Buffy felt her cheeks start to burn and a slight dizziness getting to her. As frightening and scary as this was, she had to tell him. The sooner the better.

“No, she doesn’t. And about that-”

“How do you feel about it?”

How do I feel? Buffy felt confused, he hadn’t even asked if she wanted him in her life or anything. This whole situation was starting to get uncomfortable.

“I’m… I’m excited, scared of course, but I feel kind of comfortable considering the circumstances.”

“I see.” Misreading her words, Spike automatically started to think that maybe she had told Angel but that he didn’t want the baby. Soddin’ ponce, how could he just leave her like that?

“Not that it’s really any of my business but seeing you as my friend,” he started, glancing towards the floor, “I just wanted to make sure you can do this, without him I mean.”

Confused? Me? Hell yeah. “Him?”

Spike continued like he’d never heard her question. “So you’re staying here with your mum and sis?”

Nodding, Buffy answered. “Yeah, my mom didn’t want me to live on my own and I had already let my friend take over my apartment while I was gone so.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I ask but… how come you’re not living with him?” Spike asked curiously.

Buffy ran a hand through her hair, starting to get irritated with the small hints. “Okay, who’s this him you’re referring to all the time?”

Spike looked at her as if she was crazy. “You of all people should know who I’m talking about,” he finished with a sad smile but Buffy clasped her hands together to control her emotions.

“No. I don’t. Enlighten me.”

“Oh, come on, you’re not gonna make me say that ponce's name are you?” Spike shouted, suddenly frustrated with her when she showed no response of understanding. “Bloody hell. Angel!”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Angel?”

“Yes, him,” he murmured and looked away from her. Ashamed of feeling this jealous just by saying his name.

“What about Angel?”

Looking back at her he gave her a look and then shook his head. “This is silly, Buffy. If you’re just doing this to patronize me, don’t.”

“Doing what!” Buffy exclaimed, tired of his weird behavior. “What are you saying? What does Angel have to do with this?”

“Angel? The father of you child maybe?”

Buffy stared at Spike in complete bewilderment for what felt like minutes before all the pieces began to fall into place. He hadn’t even thought about that it might be his, he instantly believed it was Angel’s.

“What, Spike,” Buffy said in a much calmer voice, mirroring his movements and leaning her arms on her knees to get closer to the man in front of her. “It’s not Angel’s.”

Spike’s eyebrows rose in confusion as he stared at her. “But… Your sister said –“

“Dawn doesn’t know anything, it’s only her guesses. She’s never seen me with anyone but him during the last year.” Ignoring all the thoughts of staying away from him, she reached out her hand and took his in her small one, instantly remembering the familiar feeling.

“Spike,” she whispered, forcing him to look at her. “It’s yours.”

Chapter 38 - So Far Away

“Spike, it’s yours.”

The words seemed to be ringing in his head, going round, round, round and making him more and more confused than he already was. Just because of those three simple words.

Spike, it’s yours.

Suddenly it all made sense, how she had been acting the last week in Cornwall. How she had fainted in the store for example. And that night when he told her about surfing, was she going to tell him then?

Through all this, he had thought it was Angel’s and now she was telling him it was his?

I’m going to be a father.

The confusion was quickly replaced by happiness and relief, because honestly he didn’t think he’d be able to disguise his jealousy any longer. To pretend he was not dying to play the father to their child, even though it wasn’t his, to be her husband, lover… But he had nothing to be jealous about any longer, it was his child. Buffy’s and his. The woman he loved.

The woman who had run away, leaving him behind without telling him.

Buffy watched the series of emotions being played in Spike’s face. It started with a shocked expression, but could she blame him? Then she thought she saw his lip twitch into a small smile and she couldn’t help but feel so much more at ease at that. Because if he smiled, that meant Spike was okay with it right?

Then it all changed.

One second he was in front of her, the next he was standing up with so much force he nearly knocked Buffy off her chair. Buffy frowned at him.

“Spike?”

“When were you going to tell me?”

Spike shocked her with the strength of his voice and Buffy couldn’t help but flinch as he stared at her, hurt mixed with anger flashing in his eyes. She opened her mouth to explain but the words just didn’t come out. She wanted to tell him, but what could she tell him?

“I was going to, I –“

“Oh, you were!” He laughed sarcastically, interrupting her explanations. “When exactly? Right before you run off or maybe later? God…”

Feeling the need to move he started pacing in front of her, running a desperate hand through his hair. It was unbelievable how fast something good can turn into something bad. All of this new information… It was too much to take. He was happy, angry… He was feeling emotions he couldn’t even name and it was making him absolutely crazy.

“How could you just…” Spike started again. “How could you not tell me?”

“You need to listen, Spike,” Buffy once again began with a surprisingly calm voice considering how she was feeling on the inside. “I was going to tell you, but I… I was scared.”

“Scared? So scared you rather have our baby on your own?” He let out a small scoff and gave her a disbelieving sight. “That makes no sense.”

“I know it doesn’t and I was being irrational,” Buffy said as she stood up to face him, only to have him move back a couple of feet. She bit her lip to not show that the simple movement hurt her and instead went on babbling.

“But, Spike… You had just told me about this great opportunity. I couldn’t drop the news about… my state after that.”

“Why?” Spike challenged stubbornly.

“Because I know you’re a good man, and you would’ve done what was best for me. Not for you. I didn’t want you to give up surfing just because of me.”

“Bloody hell, Buffy, I would have given it all up for you! None of that would’ve mattered.”

“And that’s exactly what I didn’t want you to do,” Buffy finished, looking him closely in the eye to show him she was being serious.

Spike continued to look at her in disbelief. He couldn’t understand how she could do that. Didn’t he have the right to know that he was going to be a father? Wasn’t he the one to decide whether he wanted to be a part of its life or not? He loved her, there was no way in hell he would’ve let her go because of some stupid surfing.

Realizing he hadn’t answered, just stared at her he snapped out of his daze and turned his attention back to her. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself down.

“That was not for you to decide,” he said quietly and Buffy looked down, his voice hitting her right in the heart. He was hurt, that was obvious.

“Spike, I only wanted what was best for you. No, listen to what I have to say,” she snapped him off when he started to intervene, needing to get this out. “Don’t you think I would’ve felt guilty for the rest of my life if I ruined your chance of finally breaking through? I know I didn’t think it through, entirely, but it felt right at the moment. Spike, you have to realize how much it hurt me to leave. It was not an easy decision…”

“You don’t think I was hurting?” Spike asked. “I’ve been a wreck for weeks, leaving the surfing for a friend, avoiding everyone.... Lily’s not even living with me anymore and I –“

“Wait, what? Where’s Lily?” Buffy cut him off, worry filling her.

“Would you care?”

“Of course I would,” Buffy let out. “I care about her.”

“Huh, could’ve fooled me,” Spike mumbled and turned his back on her. Buffy watched him walk about the room and couldn’t help but sigh. She wanted to explain, she wanted him to understand but Buffy also knew that was too much to ask.

“Spike… If I had told you then that I was pregnant you would’ve let the surfing go.”

“Damn right I would’ve.”

“But if you had, wouldn’t you always have been wondering how things could’ve been? You got the chance of a lifetime and I don’t want to destroy it.”

“You wouldn’t even let me explain it to you! I talked to the manager and he said I could have a few weeks off now and then. And coming home once in a while wouldn’t be impossible. You would’ve known that if you just stayed for two bloody seconds but well, you didn’t.”

“Spike, please,” Buffy began, her voice thick with emotion. She didn’t know what to say. At the moment, the hard decision to leave had after all felt right because she knew she wouldn’t destroy his life. But now, seeing him this angry and hurt – she couldn’t understand why she left.

“If I hadn’t come here,” Spike asked, feeling the need to ask the question,” would you have ever told me about the baby?”

Buffy stared at him, feeling her heart clench as she glanced down towards the floor, unable to look at him. “I don’t know… At some point, I think I would’ve but then all that I went through when I left would have been for nothing, you know?”

“So why go through it at all then?”

“I told you, I did what I – “

“- thought was right, yeah, so you keep telling me,” Spike cut her off, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

When Spike just scoffed Buffy felt desperate, worried that he’d leave. “I mean it, Spike. I really am sorry. I wish I could go back in time and change it but I can’t. I’ll have to live with that. But we could make things better now.”

“You can’t just expect me to forget about all that, Buffy,” Spike suddenly let out a bit outraged. “You could’ve been lying to me for years before you would’ve told me anything.” Putting up his hands in the air, he shook his head. “I can’t do this right now.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized he was going for the door. “Please don’t go, Spike. If we could only talk about it…”

“We have talked and did we reach some sort of understanding?” He snapped. “Hm, I’d say no.”

“I told you I did it because I only wanted what was best for you! I didn’t do it because I was selfish. I left because I wanted you to live your life! And yeah I was scared” Buffy let out, finally letting some tears roll down her face. Spike looked away, nearly falling for those tears on her beautiful face.

“You know what the worst part is?” He asked with his back on her. “That through all of this time when I thought you just left ‘cus you got tired of it all, I loved you. But how could I love anyone who would do that?”

Buffy felt like her heart stopped beating for a few second while he told her those words, wanting to say them back but she was in too much of a shock to be able to say that. She looked at him as he reached for the doorknob, opened the door and then closed it after him.

Chapter 39 - Goodbye Again?

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, Buffy. I don’t know where he’s staying.”

“You’re absolutely certain?”

Willow sighed sadly into the receiver and let her head rest in her hands. Buffy had been calling her for the last hour, desperately asking for help that she could not offer. She knew that Spike had left to go to California but he had only just called to inform her that he had landed safely. After that, which was two days ago, she hadn’t heard a word from him.

“I would tell you if I knew, honey, but I don’t. Spike hasn’t called in days."

It was Buffy’s turn to sigh at the other end of the phone as she ran a hand through her hair. Since Spike slammed the door into her face the other day she had tried to get in contact with him but without any result. She couldn’t find him at any of the hotels nearby and she couldn’t reach him through his cell. Willow was her last chance of finding him before he went back to England and she had to get to him before that.

Before Buffy let her plan go to work everything had seemed to make so much sense, but now, looking back at it, none of it did. She knew she only wanted what was best for him, she still did, but what she hadn’t thought of back then was that he would actually be interested in being a part of her life.

“… Through all of this time when I thought you just left ‘cus you got tired of it all, I loved you.”

Oh, god, he loved me. The simple words she played in her mind warmed her heart. So he was sharing those feelings. She wasn’t a total wreck after the whole Angel story, she was loveable.

“But how could I love anyone who would do that?”

His voice kept whirling inside her head, those hurtful but also so true words echoed like a scream into a cave. The reality hit her like tons of brick falling down from the sky. How different things would’ve been if she hadn’t left. If she only had though a bit differently…

“Buffy? Are you all right?"

Willow’s worried voice awoke her from her thoughts and she shook her head to clear it and swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Yeah, I just – Nothing. Could you do me a favour, Wills? If he calls, could you…?"

“Of course, Buffy. I’ll let him know you tried to contact him.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Putting the receiver back down Buffy was hit by the lonesome and quietness in the house. That and her hormones made the whole thing much worse, and she couldn’t help but let out a small sob. She quickly wiped the rebellious tears away, knowing that crying her ass off like a little baby wouldn’t help her. But what would? Spike could be anywhere, if not in Sunnydale, he could be on his way back to Cornwall right now.

“Spike, where are you?”

---

Spike looked at the displayer of his cell and studied the amount of missed calls. Willow was one of the many calls, but the majority of them were actually from Buffy. A weird feeling filled him, something he couldn’t really put a name to. Was it anger, sadness, happiness…?

Somehow that meant she cared or maybe only that she wanted to clear her bad conscience.

After leaving Buffy’s home the other day his first thought had been to hit the first bar visible. He spotted a green neon light sign with the text ‘Willy’s Bar’ after a few minutes. Spike had only had to put his foot inside the club to change his mind in an instance.

That was how his old life had been. How he had behaved before Buffy came into his life. He was better than that now, even with her gone and lying and…

Spike had turned on the spot and spent the night walking around the small town. There were not many people out, he only met a few teenagers and elderly people. He took the walk to be able to clear his mind but once he got back to the hotel he hadn’t cleared up anything that he knew of. If anything, he was only more messed up by the time he entered his room.

Somewhere deep inside he could understand her decision of leaving, she thought her pregnancy would cause him troubles in his career and she didn’t want that for him. So far he began to understand. But then there was the whole thing about not telling him. What if Spike hadn’t gone to Sunnydale? Would she ever tell him then? Maybe years would pass and suddenly before him Buffy would stand with a little mini version of himself.

No, that wouldn’t have been any better than this.

With a sigh he glanced at the cell phone again. She’d at least tried to contact him. Maybe she wanted to tell him something? What if he kept her from explaining everything?

Well, she had her chance yesterday, a little evil voice inside his head told him.

She did have her chance yesterday, but to be fair he had just shown up out of the blue. That gotta be tough.

Spike let out a deep sigh and leant his head against the wall with closed eyes.

“God, Buffy…”

---

“I’m telling you, Buffy, you don’t have to go to work if you’re not up to it.”

“And I’m telling you, Robin, that I am up for it.”

“Buffy, I was only calling you because I was worried. I just wanted to check if everything was all right, okay?”

Robin watched Buffy pace her office like a mad woman, looking for papers and throwing them all around the room. When he had called her an hour ago he instantly knew something was wrong, but she had refused to tell him. Then she insisted on coming to work, which she had absolutely forgotten about, even though Robin offered her the day off.

“I know that, and I’m very grateful for it,” Buffy told him and he could tell by the sound of her voice that her mind was elsewhere. “But I’d rather be here doing something useful than sitting at home all lonely.”

Robin raised an eyebrow and glanced about the room. “You calling this something useful?”

Buffy stopped her search for papers and turned around to face her friend and boss with her hands on her hips. “You’re complaining about my way of work?”

“God no, I wouldn’t even dare to.”

“Good!” Buffy replied friskily and continued to search the room for maps and papers. Robin could only sigh and shake his head.

“So how did it go with your bleach headed friend?”

He got his answer as Buffy momentarily froze, and then continued doing what she was doing. “Fine,” she mumbled.

“Yeah? Great. So, here’s a guess. Is he the father?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“So it is him!”

“Robin!” Buffy frustrated let out.

“Did you work things out?”

“No offence, Robin,” Buffy began, “but I don’t really wanna talk about this. Could we just drop it, please?"

“All right, then. Just one last question.”

“No!”

“He didn’t know about it, did he?”

As the words reached her ears Buffy couldn’t respond, all the guilt coming back to haunt her. Robin suddenly felt bad for bringing it up, but also relieved that he finally got the truth out of her. It pained him to see his dear friend hurt so much for this idiot who obviously had left her.

Stepping forward to put an arm around her shoulder, he smiled softly at her. “The guy’s a jerk, Buffy. Don’t care about him, you don’t need him. You got lots of friends here willing to help you through this. We’ll be there for you, Buffy.”

Buffy smiled sadly at him and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, that means a lot. But there’s more to it. And for the record, Spike’s no jerk.”

“No?” The principal said with a raised eyebrow. Buffy shook her head.

“He isn’t.”

“Well, a guy that leaves a girl like that oughta be an idiot somehow.”

“He didn’t leave me,” Buffy snapped, suddenly angry with him for lashing it out on Spike.

“He didn’t? Well, I wouldn’t know that, Buffy, since you’re not telling me anything.” Buffy continued glaring at the ground when Robin nudged her side. She was forced to look up into his kind face. “Please, tell me, Buffy.”

Buffy hesitated. “It’s a long story.”

“I got all day.”

She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Well, then I sure misunderstood all the other employees’ complaints about how much work we’ve got.”

“Well,” he smiled, “I am the principle. I do whatever I please.”

“Stupid man.”

“Stupid man wants to hear.”

Letting out a deep sigh Buffy sat down on her chair. “All right.”

---

For the upcoming hour Buffy and Robin sat talking inside her office with the main subject Spike. She told him all about her reason for going to Cornwall, how she met him at the Wiccan and how their relationship developed from there.

“… so, you still think Spike’s a jerk?” Buffy wondered when she finished.

Robin was sitting in front of her desk where usually the students in need of guidance sat, his face impossible to read. His hands were clasped together in front of him as he finally let out a great sigh.

“It was certainly not an… easy position you’ve put yourself in, I have to say.”

“I definitely am not your favourite person in the world.”

“Listen, Buffy. I can’t disapprove and say that what you did was, well let’s face it, a stupid thing to do. I understand how you thought, but you really should’ve talked to this guy before you did something so reckless. I mean, it’s his child – he has a right to know that he’s going to be a father.”

Buffy couldn’t help but hang her head, nodding. “I realize that now but then, in Cornwall… It was all so surreal, we had only known each other for a couple of weeks and he just got an offer of a lifetime.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I thought I did what was right but now, I can’t see how I could’ve thought that…”

“Only that you realize it was a mistake is a step in the right direction,” Robin added.

“Theoretically, yes but regarding my relationship with Spike, no…”

“Did you talk to him about this?”

“I tried to explain but he was so mad, Robin… So disappointed, hurt…” Spike’s face flashed before her mind and she couldn’t help but flinch. “Can’t say I judge him for being angry with me, it’s the least I deserve.”

Robin watched her for a moment, thinking of what to say but coming up with nothing. She could say she was sorry, that she regretted the whole thing and he could believe her. He did believe her. But what difference would it make if she sat here letting her heart out when the person in question was nowhere around. That’s right. Not a damn thing.

“Buffy, I know this is hurting you. And for you to go dwelling on this when you already have so much to take care of is no good. It’s no good for either you or the baby. You should try to find this guy once more. A last chance to explain.”

“But what will I say? Even if I found him… He wouldn’t want to talk to me. He’s must be disgusted with me.”

Robin smiled a bit. “I don’t think anyone can be.”

Buffy grimaced and ran a hand through her thick hair. “Maybe I just have to realize that I have lost him. I mean… I knew before that… That we would probably never end up together, otherwise I would never have left. But that doesn’t mean I never hoped. When I was with Spike, I could see a future. I could see us moving in together, getting married, having a baby… But not after only a few weeks of friendship. This picture I painted up for myself in my brain was taking years. Realty was moving all too fast for that idea to work out.”

She took a deep breath, trying to let the information sink in. She’d tried everything, except for going to Cornwall of course but she didn’t know if she dared to intrude upon his life like that. Maybe she really had to accept the fact that she had screwed up their future. Her heart clenched as she thought the words.

Buffy had known it, deep down, that she’d lost him the day she left Cornwall. It just hadn’t really sunken in… until now. Until now, she had always had the hope, hope that one day they’d meet again and everything would be fine (well, as fine as it could be). Now she finally understood that Spike was gone.

With a sharp intake of breath tears started to well up in her eyes, threatening to spill over making Robin look at her with a terrified expression. The pain she had been keeping inside for weeks now suddenly coming to a climax, tearing her heart apart.

“Hey…” He put a soothing hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner but it was too late to stop the hysterics. “Buffy, calm down. Breath. Slowly.”

“I-I just…” Buffy hiccupped, tears finally running down her cheeks. “It hurts so bad, Robin. So bad. I don’t know what to do with myself. It feels like I’m breaking into pieces. I lost him… And I love him so much… I love – “

She broke off, not able to speak anymore, the crying making her body shake with the force of her tears.

“Listen, Buffy, I’ll go get something warm for you to drink so that you’ll calm down, okay?” The principal rose from his chair and patted his friend on the arm before he turned around to face the door. “I’ll be right –"

The sudden stop made Buffy wonder what he was doing and she glanced up from the floor to see what had made Robin stop. First she couldn’t see anything - the tears were blurring her eyes. She quickly wiped at them.

Robin was standing in the way with his back against her, blocking her view. She furrowed her eyebrows.

“Robin?”

He didn’t answer right the way, then he slowly turned back to Buffy and stepped out of the way. Someone was standing at the door, someone that made Buffy’s heart leap out of her chest. Someone she longed to hug, to kiss, to comfort… She stopped breathing.

“Spike.”

Chapter 40 - The end or the beginning?

Ever since she was a little girl, Buffy had hated silence. It disturbed her. Why be quiet and endure painful minutes when you could skip that awkward silence? Of course, there were comfortable silences, too, but during her life she had only experienced them a few times.

But now, standing here in front of the man she’d thought she’d never see again – the man she loved – she couldn’t utter a word. It was like someone had ripped her tongue out, preventing her from speaking even if she wanted to. But she was at a loss for words.

Robin glanced between his friend and the blonde man standing in the doorway to his office, an uncomfortable feeling suddenly overtaking him, like he was intruding on something or was in the way. For a moment he considered throwing this Spike guy out, after all he’d hurt one of his closest friends so bad, but then he remembered the story Buffy had just confided to him. Maybe there was more to it, maybe he shouldn’t judge this guy just yet…

Robin’s eyes fell upon Spike’s as he took in his form. With a sinking feeling, he realized that this was a broken man just by looking into his tormented eyes. He didn’t know how much Spike had heard of their talk, but clearly it was enough to evoke some emotion.

His gaze went back to Buffy, looking absolutely stunned by seeing him here with her tearstained face and red eyes. Her mouth was forming an ‘O’ in clear surprise as she watched him without saying a word.

The feeling of being in the way got to him again and he realized that he wanted what was best for his friend and that, he believed, was to leave Buffy alone with Spike for a while. Clearing his throat to get the attention he needed Robin threw Buffy a quick smile.

“Don’t wreck the office, whatever you do.” Then he exited and closed the door.

This time the silence got to Buffy, but she still couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She was stunned by the way Spike looked at her. He looked so… agonized. His expression scared her a bit, she didn’t know how much he had heard of their conversation and what he thought about it. It was definitely scary. She wished she knew what he was thinking.

Spike, who’d had a rough start with the principal, felt a weird gratefulness toward him once he left the office, making him feel unexpectedly horrible for being so angry with him before. He didn’t let this disturb his thoughts for very long though, as his eyes met Buffy’s again and his heart filled with a sudden warmth. Even with her red puffy eyes, she looked beautiful. But her sad and worried expression concerned him. All he wanted to do was to take her in his arms and hug her, kiss her… To forget all about their past visit. Standing this close to the person he loved more than life itself and yet be so far away felt so strange.

After Spike had gone through things with himself during another walk he found himself outside Buffy’s house. On seeing that no one was home, he realized she must be at work. Without really thinking about what he was about to do, he entered Sunnydale High and tracked down her office.

Of course he couldn’t know what he was about to hear.

It feels like I’m breaking into pieces. I lost him…

Oh, she hadn’t lost him. He’d been with her every single minute in his thoughts since the day she’d left. Hearing Buffy cry this out made his heart clench.

And I love him so much…

She loved him. She really did.

None of them knew for how long they’d been quiet now. The sudden sound of a clock ticking made Spike realize he should say something. It seemed like Buffy thought the exact same thing at the same time.

“Buffy, I –“

“Spike –“

None of them finished their sentences. A small smile tugged on Spike’s lips as he anxiously ran a hand through his hair. With a small sigh he took another step into the room, locking eyes with Buffy again.

Her angelic face was suddenly graced with a small smile, similar to his.

“You stayed,” she said, her voice thick with emotions.

He nodded. “I did.”

A rebellious strain of hair fell in front of her eyes and she irritably put it behind her ear, the movement making her look anxious. “I-I tried to call you but…"

“I know,” Spike interrupted and Buffy looked at him. So he didn’t want to answer.

“Oh.”

Seeing her distress, Spike added quickly, “I’m sorry I didn’t answer, I… I needed some time to think things through.”

“Spike, you’ve got nothing to apologize for,” Buffy told him solemnly. “Please, don’t apologize.”

“Buffy-“

“No.” Her emotions quickly overwhelmed her, the anger for letting things go as they did and sadness for knowing what she’d lost. “I did this, it was my decision to leave Cornwall and I realize now that it was a stupid move. Believe me, I truly do. None of it is your fault. I just…”

Realizing she was rambling, she stopped and closed her eyes for a few seconds. “Sorry, old habit…”

A quick flashback to England filled Spike’s memory, the one time she’d started rambling, almost hysterically and had barely been able to stop. The familiar affection once again filled his heart.

“Buffy, listen. We both made mistakes, one after another… Maybe because we’re so damn stubborn, I don’t know.” Buffy made a small, sad chuckle at that. “But leaving you with all the blame like I did the other day was, let’s face it, down right wrong. The thing was that I needed to think and sure, I was angry and sad and… hurt. I won’t deny that. My first thought was to hit the closest bar –“

Buffy’s eyes widened but he raised a hand to stop her. “But I didn’t. I realized that was the old me. That would’ve been me just a year ago and if this had happened back then… Well, the thing is, it wouldn’t have.”

Buffy looked at him in confusion, not really grasping what he wanted to say.

"What I mean is… You’ve changed me. You know how I was before, how I lived my life. It’s not something I’m very proud of. That part of me is something that my family and friends have tried to erase for years with no success and it took you all of a few weeks.”

Buffy bit her lip and felt her cheeks get hot. That was more compliments than she deserved. “Spike…”

“Don’t you see? It’s no wonder I fell in love with you.”

At that, what with her hormones and the situation itself, it broke for Buffy. Tears started to fall again and she slumped down in her chair.

Spike looked at her with worried eyes, altering between stepping forward to comfort her and standing still. He went for a mix, taking a few steps closer but he did not touch her. Instead he sank down to her level on his knees.

“Pet, why are you crying?”

“That’s a stupid question,” Buffy murmured, biting her lip to prevent the tears from falling. “You’re here. After all I’ve done to you, all I put you through, you’re here. And on top of it, you’re saying that you loved me.”

“Love,” he mumbled, almost so quiet she could barely hear it over her sobs. Nevertheless, she did hear him.

“What?”

Glancing away from her, he shrugged. “Not past tense.”

She stared at him for a few seconds before the anger filled her again with sudden fierce. “How could you, Spike?”

He raised an eyebrow. “How could I what? Love you? I’ve already explained that.”

“I know, but I… I left, Spike. Left the country without telling you, without explaining… And most of all, I didn’t tell you about the baby. Your child. Oh God…”

“I won’t lie, Buffy. Seeing you that day, realizing that you had hidden the truth from me, it hurt. I don’t know why you thought that I wouldn’t want you in my life. Sure, we’d only known each other for a short period of time but – “

“I wanted what was best for you,” Buffy said. “I was about to tell you the same day you told me about the competition, but then I realized how all of this must slow you down and I couldn’t. I thought that if I left you’d get a chance to live that dream of yours. You’re so good at what you do, Spike. I was sure you would forget about me once your career was in motion. I would leave, broken and sad, but I would still have a part of you with me… Something to remember you by.”

Swallowing the tears, Buffy hesitantly reached out for his cheek, as if to see if he would turn his face away.

He didn’t.

Once her fingers came in contact with his skin, her heart started to swell at the sight of him closing his eyes and leaning into her palm. They sat like that for a moment, each reliving the feeling of having the other one so close again. Then Spike turned his head and kissed her palm as his right hand came up to grasp hers.

“What made you think we couldn’t have both?” He asked.

“I…” Buffy hesitated. All she’d done seemed so strange now, like it was another person performing her decisions. But it wasn’t, it was Buffy and she had to stand for what she’d done. “God, I don’t know…”

“Because we could’ve… Better yet, we still can.”

Buffy regarded him for a moment and then tilted her head to the side. “What?”

“I want to stay with you, Buffy, if you’ll have me. I want to see our child grow up. I don’t want you to take care of it by yourself.”

Defensively, Buffy frowned, being used to defending herself from all the negative comments she’d gotten from people around her on being a single mother. “I can take care of myself. You don’t need to stay just to make sure we’ll be fine, ‘cus we will. I have my mom, my sister and my friends…”

“I know that, Buffy, and you’re the strongest woman I know. But I don’t want you to do that.”

Buffy once again stared at him for a while. “You’re not just staying for the baby’s sake?”

Spike couldn’t help but laugh. “I thought I made it clear that I love you, and…” He suddenly looked nervous and glanced away from her eyes. “I… I heard you, before I mean. Did you mean it?”

For a moment she didn’t understand what he wanted to know but then she understood, a small sad smile forming on her lips. “I do love you. And I wanted to say it at my house but I couldn’t… I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. Like I was just sputtering things out to make you stay and… Ugh, I know it sounds lame now.”

She glanced down at their linked hands and squeezed his. “I love you,” she whispered.

Spike had heard the words before but actually hearing them from her to him made him happier than he ever thought he could be. Swallowing the lump in his throat he let go of her hand and instead took her face between his hands.

Buffy’s heart rate sped up as she looked into his eyes, painfully long, and then an angelic smile formed on his face and he captured her lips with his. Reliving the feeling of him again for a few moments, Buffy felt like she was flying. She slowly wound her hands in his hair and pulled him closer, well as close as she could with a stomach in the way.

Spike let out a soft moan as her tongue touched his and suddenly stood up, pulling her with him into a standing position. He put his arms around her waist, drawing her closer as the kissed intensified. All too soon, air started to become an issue and they pulled away, breathlessly resting their foreheads together.

“I love you,” Spike whispered, his voice full of emotion and Buffy gave him a quick kiss again before she hugged him close, resting her head under his chin. “God, I love you so much.”

Even though she was at her happy place, she felt the need to ask. “Spike, are you sure about this?”

He gave her a disbelieving look. “You think I’m not?”

“Just wanted to make sure, I want you to do what’s right for you. Not for me. I love you more than anything but I don’t want you to regret this in the future.”

“I won’t,” he simply replied and kissed her again, making her head spin. She still had the question in mind though.

“Wait, but what about work? Our families, apartments… What about –“

Spike put a finger to her lips. “Do you love me?”

She repeated his words with a small grin. “Didn’t I make that clear before?”

“Then that’s enough for now.”

And he smashed his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

Epilogue - 5 months later

“Wow, Spike, can I still really call you coach? Superstar seems more appropriate.”

Spike threw Lily a mocking glare as she stood by the gate, but couldn’t hide the humour for long. He ruffled the girl’s hair and laughed out loud.

“I’ll never be anything like a superstar to you, kid. And actually, I think I like being called coach much more than superstar.”

“What about ‘dad’?”

His heart filled with desire as he heard his love’s voice from behind. He put Lily down and turned around to face the goddess that was now his. Come to think of it, goddess was not a strong enough word for Buffy’s beauty. Especially now with her enormous stomach, she was glowing. For being at the end of her pregnancy, she was still doing most things she’d done before. Maybe a little less energized than usual, but still with a smile on her face.

A smirk tugged at his own face. “Well, I won’t say no to that.”

Buffy grinned as he hugged her, well, hugged her as much as he could anyway. Taking her face in his hands he looked into her eyes.

“God, how I’ve missed you,” he murmured.

“It’s only been two months, you silly thing,” Buffy giggled.

“Well, two months too much anyway.” With that he gave her a searing kiss and they completely got lost in the moment until a girl’s voice from behind cleared its throat.

“I realize that you two have to kiss now, what with you having a baby and all, but could you please not do that in front of me all the time?” Lily asked irritated with her arms crossed over her chest, but the sparkle in her eyes told otherwise.

Spike and Buffy grinned at each other and turned to face Lily, his arm sneaking around Buffy’s waist instead. “Believe me, Lily, I will be complaining about you kissing guys much more than you will ever complain about us.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Well, it will soon enough,” he stated but then a deep frown creased his forehead. He was going to have to worry about things like that soon, all too soon! The girl had turned thirteen three months ago and no doubt about it, she was gonna be the centre of all the guys’ attention. With her brown wavy hair, glistening brown eyes and her way of making everyone in her presence adore her; the guys would have problem staying away from her. Spike would have to keep an eye on her.

Lily snorted. “Oh, please. Name one guy I’d be interested in here!”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “I know Connor’s looking at you differently…”

“Connor?! He’s like… one of my closest friends, Spike!”

“Well, you never know what’s gonna happen, do you…” Spike mumbled and Buffy let out a laugh.

“Oh, Spike, calm down. Lily’s a responsible girl. She won’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not worried about what she’ll do, I’m worried about what they will do….”

“When that day comes, then so be it. We’ll lock her inside her room and I’ll have the sex talk with her.”

Lily let out a deep groan. “Buffy!”

Spike couldn’t prevent himself from laughing now, the happiness filling his heart took over all of it. He couldn’t believe he had gotten so lucky. Here he was, with a third prize in his first worldwide surfing competition with a lot of great offers for future events.

And not just that, he also had his family and friends. His father and sister, Willow, Tara, Xander, Gunn, Fred, his team of kids that adored him as a coach… And then there was Buffy and Lily, and the baby on the way.

His visit in California hadn’t been long. They talked through things and Buffy stated that she wanted to raise their child in England, after all it felt like home. Her mother and sister hadn’t been thrilled of course, but once Buffy had packed her belongings and everything was fixed, Joyce was actually kind of thrilled with the idea. She planned for a visit just a month later and during the last month of Buffy’s pregnancy she had decided to live with them.

The one who was most upset would’ve been Cordelia. Buffy still got goose bumps from that conversation. If the girl had screamed! ‘You can’t leave me here all alone, you traitor! Who am I gonna call when I need to gossip, huh? Who’s gonna watch your kid when you need some time for yourself? I can’t believe you, my best friend’s leaving the country for good!’ And so on…

When Cordy finally had calmed down though, they got to talking and they planned visits as often as possible. Cordy had been to visit them once 3 months ago and become really good friends with Willow and Tara. Doyle had also loved being there and he got close with Spike’s band members.

So everything was working out. And then there was Lily.

After having lots of conversations and meetings with the social services a psychiatrist had come to decide that Lily would be much happier and calmer in an environment she already was familiar with. Since she already had turned 13, they would have problems finding a home for her and especially in Cornwall. According to the shrink’s analysis of Lily, she wouldn’t be comfortable in a town where everything was new and she didn’t know anyone. Because of the abuse through the years, she really needed to feel safe and that was in Cornwall. More specifically, in Spike and Buffy’s presence.

Spike had suggested the idea, a few weeks after getting back from California. He and Buffy had talked about it. Lily was such a sweet girl and she had practically been as their own daughter for weeks so why would they change it? Their short period of relationship had been an issue in the beginning, but their case was investigated and approved, and now Lily was living under the same roof as her coach and his girlfriend.

Lily, too, was psyched over the baby. When Buffy and Spike got back and Lily saw Buffy’s stomach she had shrieked with excitement.

Finally, it seemed like everything was working out, and Spike couldn’t have dreamt of more.

“Well, son, are you intending on forgetting all about us and not even say hello?” Rupert Giles chuckled with Spike’s sister standing beside him, her hands at her hips.

Spike smiled sheepishly. “Of course not, da. I’ve missed you two.” He faced his family and hugged them. He finished with a pat on his father’s shoulder. ”How’s the heart, old man? Talking your medication on regular basis?”

Giles rolled his eyes. “I’m not a child, William.”

Chelsea scoffed. “You might think that sometimes. No but seriously, he’s getting a lot better at taking his medications, Spike. I promise you.”

“Good, ‘cus I wouldn’t want for the unborn boy to never meet his grandfather,” Spike hinted. His heart automatically sped up at the thought. He was going to have a son. Buffy had told him after the winning of his second competition. He’d been so thrilled he practically swung Buffy up in the air. Now he had Lily, who was more or less like a daughter, and soon a son.

“I’ll stick around,” Giles promised. “So, what does the future hold for you regarding surfing?”

“I got a lot of great offers, but I’ve put them on hold for now. I’m just going to be coaching the old team, and working with the band. In a year or two, we’ll see how things are. At least I’ve tried this life now, so I won’t have any regrets later in life.” He turned his gaze to Buffy. “Well, maybe leaving you guys for so long…”

“The point is that you’re here now. I talked to Connor yesterday, he was so excited that you were back. They’ve all longed for their teacher to come back, right Lil?”

Lily nodded in agreement. “It’s the truth.”

“That’s great,” Spike agreed, “but for now I think I’ll just want to have a nice dinner and sleep off the jet lag.”

“Seems like a nice idea. I’ve got everything cooked at home, we’ll just need to warm it –“

They had started walking towards the exit when Buffy abruptly stopped. Spike continued walking a few steps before noticing Buffy’s halt. As he turned to look at her, he first didn’t understand but then his eyes met hers. They were wide and her mouth formed a small ‘o’. As realization hit him, his eyes travelled down towards her stomach where her hands very clutched against her abdomen.

“Buffy?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

“Oh God… I think my water just broke.”

“What?!” Chelsea and Lily shrieked. Giles was beside her in one second and tugged at her arm.

“Let’s get you to the hospital, dear. Right now! William, you mind coming with us?” He joked as he saw his son’s bewildered look. He hadn’t moved an inch since Buffy’s stopped but now he slowly shook his head and nodded.

“Bloody hell, Buffy. It’s really happening,” he whispered as he took a step forward to take her hand. Buffy’s eyes were full of different emotions; fear, excitement, happiness… She looked at Spike and smiled.

“I guess it is. What timing, huh?”

“Well, now is better anyway, isn’t it? What if I hadn’t gotten home in time?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, it’s not that, although that would’ve been a catastrophe. I finally managed to fix a nice enough dinner and then I go into labor! You’re not gonna believe that I actually did it and it tasted good, I’ll tell you!”

Spike just stared at her for a few second before bursting out laughing. “Buffy, luv, only you could be worried about dinner when you’re having a baby.”

Her eyes widened again. “Oh God, I’m really having a baby!”

“That you are, luv, and if you don’t want to give birth at the airport I suggest we go now,” he smiled and started tugging on her arm. Giles was already a few feet ahead of them, making phone calls and Chelsea had taken Lily with her to the car.

Although Buffy didn’t know what was going to happen in the next hours, she couldn’t be happier or more excited. Spike was home with her and Lily, and now, the little boy would complete their small family.

She looked at Spike adoringly. “I love you,” she whispered. “I can’t believe this is really happening. What a twist of fate, huh? From ‘vacationing-to-get-over-my-ex’ to ‘meeting-the-love-of-my-life-and-having-a-baby’.” She laughed nervously.

Spike hugged her tighter to his side and said with a soft smile. “And this is just the beginning.”