Spike Pratt wasn’t just having a bad day, he was way beyond that. It had been more than three months now, since the day when his life started to literally fall apart. And after that, things had just gotten worse. Now he’d gotten to a point where he had to struggle to just get through the day. And he was so tired of struggling. When his fiancee, Drusilla, had died, he’d been convinced that his life couldn’t possibly get any worse. He’d been wrong.

He hadn’t just loved Dru, he’d practically worshiped her. She had been the love of his life, his entire world, and he had never been happier than the day she finally accepted his proposal. Then she went out of the door one day, and didn’t come back. A ‘tragic accident’, that’s what the paper had said. She had just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

After spending the first month after the accident in a fog, partly caused by the amount of alcohol he’d been consuming, his boss had had enough, and fired him. Not that the job had been the best, or the most well-paid, but it was the only thing he’d had left. And now he didn’t even have that. Losing his job had been what caused him to hit bottom. Or so he’d thought. But there was more.

Even though he’d been drunk that night, hell, he’d been drunk most nights since the accident, he still remembered it very clearly. And at the same time, it was as if that night had just been a dream, it couldn’t be real. But it was.

Spike had been sitting in the bar at the local pub, glass in one hand and bottle in the other, when she had walked up to him. At first when she spoke to him, he had simply ignored her. When she wouldn’t give up, he’d told her to sod off. Of course, she had just laughed, and sat down next to him.

Darla had been Drusilla’s best friend, but he had never been able to stand her. He knew that the feeling was quite mutual, Darla had never kept quiet about the fact that she considered Spike to be way beneath Dru. More than once, she’d tried to convince her friend to dump him. He would’ve hoped that Dru would tell Darla to go to hell, or at least to mind her own damn business. She didn’t. But at least she stayed with him, much to Darla’s annoyance.

What Darla had told him that night had changed everything. He didn’t believe her at first, of course. But she had been telling him the truth, Drusilla’s doctor had confirmed it, a couple of days later. Dru had been pregnant when she died. And she had known about it for weeks, without telling him. In fact, she’d never had any plans of letting him know, at all. Because she was going to get rid of it, and pretend it never happened.

Finding out that he would’ve been a father, to a child that never got the chance to exist, without even being told about it, opened his eyes about who Drusilla really had been. He refused to see it at first, tried convincing himself that it was a mistake. But it wasn’t.

The humiliation when his friends, or most of them being Dru’s friends, he couldn’t deny that, started coming up to him, telling him that they’d known about Drusilla’s affairs, and making pathetic excuses and apologies to why they’d never told him, almost made him feel worse than he’d done when he first lost Dru. Because now he knew that she’d never even been close to feeling the same way about him.

So it was safe to say that he’d lost everything, even the good memories of his dead girlfriend. He’d loved her more than his own life, and to her, their entire relationship had been nothing more than a joke. So that’s why he, when he walked up and down the streets, hadn’t just lost his life. He had lost hope.

Spike had never been the type of person who took the easy way out, but this morning, for the first time, the idea of ending it all didn’t seem so scary. Because at this point, he had nothing more to lose, and he was just so tired of it all. But then, he saw her. The little girl. Hannah. Sometimes, when he thought back on that day, he wondered if she would ever understand that it wasn’t just he who had saved her. She had saved him too.

The little girl, she couldn’t be more than six years old, was walking slowly by the side of the road, oblivious of the cars passing by. Spike looked around in both directions to see where her parents were, surely such a small girl shouldn’t be out walking alone, especially not on a highly busy road.

But, by the look of it, the girl was all alone, so he sighed and hurried over to her. She stopped when he came up to her, looking at him with a suspicious look in her brown eyes. Spike realized that he probably didn’t look his best these days, especially not after being out drinking all night. But at least he was sober now, and he smiled at the girl.

“What are you doing out here all alone, niblet?”

She gave him a funny look. “What’s a ‘niblet’?” Then she seemed to remember something, and looked down. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers, my mommy said.”

He nodded. “Your mum is absolutely right.” Then he hesitated, unsure of what to do. He couldn’t just leave the girl here, anything could happen to her. “Um, where are your parents, sweet bit?”

The girl suddenly got a cold look in her eyes. “I don’t have parents, it’s just mommy and I.”

Spike was taken by surprise by the girl’s bluntness, but quickly covered up. “I see. So where’s your mum now?” Shrugging, the girl suddenly seemed very interested in something next to her feet. “Did you get lost?”

She giggled then, looking up again. “No, silly, I go here every day!”

He frowned, wondering what kind of mother would let her daughter walk there alone every day. She must had seen his confusion, because she hurried to explain. “With the school bus.”

Aha. That made more sense. Spike smiled at the girl again. “Right. Listen, bit, my name’s Spike. I know your mum told you not to talk to strangers, but it’s not safe here on the road. How ‘bout I walk you home, your mum must be worried about you.”

The girl seemed to be thinking hard for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. Wait, you’re not a bad man, are you? Mommy said never to follow bad men.”

Spike had to suppress a laugh. He was bad, alright. But this little girl had nothing to fear from him. “No, little bit, I’m not a bad man.”

She looked relieved, obviously taking his word for it. “Great! My name’s Hannah O’Connor and I live at 1630 Revello Drive. Let’s go!”


TBC

“Hannah! Oh my God, where have you been?! The school called, I’ve been worried sick! What were you thinking, just leaving like that?!” The blond woman was too busy yelling hysterically at her daughter to even notice Spike, and he was starting to feel more than a little bit uncomfortable.

They didn’t have to walk that far to get to Revello Drive, and they’d been outside Hannah’s house in less than fifteen minutes. Spike had rang the door bell, and when a young woman, obviously Hannah’s mother, immediately opened, Hannah had simply entered the house with an innocent ‘hi mommy’. The woman had just stared at her daughter, and then, all hell had broken lose.

He cleared his throat, and the woman seemed to realize he was there for the first time. Suddenly he had no idea what to say to Hannah’s mother. Not only because she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, but also because of the way she was looking at him, like he was the lowest creature on the planet.

Knowing that he should just leave, he still hesitated. Obviously the woman was very upset with her daughter, and seeing her yelling at the little girl made him feel like he should say something. “You shouldn’t yell at her, she’s fine. It wasn’t like she was wandering in the middle of the street or anything.”

He immediately realized that it had been the wrong thing to say, as the blonde’s eyes narrowed and she glared at him. “Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?! How dare you tell me how to act around my own daughter?”

Spike raised his hands, mentally cursing himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interfere, I just…” He stopped, not sure of what he wanted to say. “I should just leave.”

The woman crossed her arms over her chest, nodding. “I think you should.”

He nodded also. “Right. Sorry.” With that he turned around, and left.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You were mean.” Hannah glared accusingly at her mother, clearly not pleased with her behavior.

Buffy stared at her daughter for a moment, opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. She took a deep breath, determined not to yell at the girl again. Truth was, when she’d found out that Hannah was missing, she’d been scared to death. Horrible thoughts and images had rushed through her mind, and she’d been convinced that she’d never see her precious little girl again.

Then the girl had suddenly showed up outside the door, with a complete stranger. The relief she’d felt when she realized that Hannah was unharmed had been so huge, it had just made her lose it. Every day she read those horrible articles in the local paper about kidnappers and pedophiles. What if she’d lose Hannah, that would kill her! Her daughter was all she had, and she loved the girl more than anything.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, sweetie, but you made me so worried. Sometimes grown-ups yell when they get scared and worried. Miss Burkle called from school, saying that she couldn’t find you. Why did you leave?” Buffy’s voice was almost back to normal now, but she could still feel her heart beating, way too fast, inside her chest.

Hannah didn’t look at her mother when she walked over to the couch and sat down. “The other kids were mean.”

Buffy sighed, and sat down next to her daughter. “Oh sweetie. Did they pick on you again?” Hannah didn’t answer so Buffy gently pulled her into her arms. “Tell me what happened, baby.”

“Kathy pushed me so I fell in the mud. And the other kids laughed.” Hannah looked up at her mother with tear-filled eyes. “I wanna stay here with you, please don’t make me go back there, please!”

Closing her eyes for a moment, Buffy desperately tried to keep her own tears from falling. It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and she feared that it wouldn’t be the last, either. But Hannah had never wandered off before. “I won’t honey, not today. But I’m gonna have to call Miss Burkle and tell her you’re home and safe.”

Hannah nodded, the relief obvious on her face. “So you’re not mad anymore?”

Buffy smiled at her and placed a soft kiss on the girl’s forehead. “No, mommy’s not mad. I never was, I was just so worried about you. Can you understand that?” Hannah nodded, now looking very ashamed. “I’m really sorry I was mean to you, honey, I didn’t mean too.”

Hannah gave her a serious look. “That’s okay, mommy. But that’s not what I meant. You were mean to Spike.”

Now, Buffy looked more confused than ever. “Spike?”

The girl nodded again. “Yeah, the guy who walked me home. He called me funny names, mommy, what’s a ‘niblet’?”

Buffy still looked confused, then she shook her head. “I don’t know.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I was a little mean, wasn’t I?”

Hannah looked at her with big brown eyes, so much like her father’s. “Yes, you were. He was nice, and you yelled at him. That’s mean.”

Suddenly feeling very stupid, Buffy nodded, not wanting to meet her daughter’s eyes. “Yes, it was, you’re right.”

“You can call him and apologize!” Hannah gave her a huge grin, clearly very pleased with her idea.

Buffy smiled at her, sadly. “I would if I could, sweetie, but I don’t have his phone number.”

Hannah looked disappointed. “Oh.”

Wanting nothing more than to see that smile on her daughter’s face again, Buffy ran her hand gently over the girl’s long, brown hair. “I tell you what. How about we’ll go to the video store and rent a movie, and then order a pizza?”

The smile on the girl’s face was back, and this time bigger than ever. “I wanna see The Lion King! And can we have extra cheese on the pizza?”

Buffy smiled back at her, relieved to see Hannah happy again. “Of course, honey.”

“Yaay!”

“But first I have to call Miss Burkle. And you have to go wash your hands and face, young lady, you have mud all over you.” Hannah suddenly looked sad again, and Buffy could’ve just kicked herself, knowing that the girl must be thinking of how the other kids had teased her in school. “Hannah…”

“I’ll go wash up.” Without another word, Hannah slid off the couch and headed for the bathroom, leaving Buffy to look after her daughter with a helpless expression on her face.


TBC

Buffy sighed as she looked at her grocery list for what seemed like the millionth time, picking up various items from the shelves and dropping them in the trolley. She hated doing grocery shopping, but it had to be done. Buffy had chosen to go to the supermarket early that morning, so she wouldn’t have to stand in the long lines at the counter when she’d finished working and just wanted to go home. Also, she was half convinced that the supermarket became cursed in the late afternoon, crazy old ladies running around, waving their canes in the air and making rude comments for no reason.

She groaned when she realized that Hannah’s favorite cereal, the last thing on her list, was mocking her from the top of the shelf, and looked around in desperation for someone who could help her. Of course, there was no one around. Wasn’t there a law against discrimination of short people? For a moment she considered just forgetting about the cereal, but she knew how disappointed Hannah would be if she wouldn’t get her favorite breakfast.

Rolling her eyes, she looked around again, this time to make sure no one saw her, and grabbed hold of the shelf as she started climbing. An exultant smile appeared on her face as she reached the precious box. That’s when she slipped. She let out a cry as she fell backwards, then two strong arms caught her before she’d hit the concrete floor.

Gasping in surprise, and shock, Buffy found herself looking into the bluest pair of eyes she’d ever seen. Swallowing, she realized that they belonged to the same man that had walked Hannah home safely the day before, who she’d thanked for it by being rude and acting like a bitch. Now he’d saved her as well, and words couldn’t describe how bad she suddenly felt.

The man gave her a concerned look. “You okay?”

All she could do was nod, suddenly feeling as if her tongue had grown into twice its size. By the look in his eyes, he recognized her as well, and it seemed like he wanted nothing more than to get away from her. Not that she could blame him, he probably expected her to start yelling again. He nodded too, mumbling something that sounded like ‘good’, and turned around to leave.

Suddenly Buffy panicked. “Wait!” The man stopped, looking at her in confusion. “I was afraid I’d never see you again. I…” She hesitated, not sure of what to say. ”Thank you.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she hurriedly went on. “Not just for this, but for bringing my daughter home yesterday. I… I really appreciated it, even though it probably didn’t seem like it at the time.”

He smiled at her then, but the smile was a bit strained. “Was nothing. Anyone would’ve done the same thing.”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief, shaking her head firmly. “Are you kidding? What you did was amazing! Most guys, finding a young girl all alone like that, would’ve just ignored her, or…” She swallowed, not able to finish that sentence. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to stop thinking about what could’ve happened. “Do you have kids of your own, Mr…?”

The man closed his eyes for a moment, then he looked at her again. “Name’s William. William Pratt. But I prefer Spike. And no, I don’t.”

Buffy nodded. “Hannah’s my only child. I guess I can be a bit over protective sometimes, but that’s just because I’m terrified of losing her. Sunnydale might be a small town, but horrible things happen to kids every day. I’ve read about these awful things in the paper, and…” She realized she was babbling, blushed, and looked away.

Spike tried to hide his amusement, suddenly finding the young woman’s behavior adorable. It was like she was a completely different person today, and if he didn’t know better, he’d say she acted almost nervously around him. “I understand. It’s okay, really.”

She snorted. “It’s not okay! I was so rude yesterday, and after what you did, I can’t believe I didn’t even say thank you.”

He smiled at her again, and this time the smile reached his eyes. Buffy had never seen a pair of eyes so beautiful before. For a moment, they just stared at each other, like hypnotized. Then Spike cleared his throat, and the moment was over. “I’m sorry too. I said some things I shouldn’t have.”

Buffy just waved her hand in dismiss. “No, you were right, I shouldn’t have yelled.” She smiled a little. “Hannah says yelling is mean. She was very angry at me for being so rude to you.”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle. “You have a bloody smart daughter, Miss…?”

Buffy’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I forgot to introduce myself. I’m sorry. My name’s Buffy. Buffy Summers.” She reached out her hand in greeting, and blushed again as he took her hand gently, brought it up to his lips, and kissed it softly.

“Nice to meet you, Miss Buffy Summers.”

She giggled, before answering with the same teasing note in her voice; “You too, Mr... Spike?” He cringed at the sound of that, and Buffy giggled again. Then she became serious. “Why don’t you come over to our place tonight for dinner? You know, as a thank you for what you did yesterday. And today.” She went on before he could object. “I know Hannah would love to see you again, she’s been talking about you non-stop since yesterday.”

Her words made him feel strangely touched. “Really?” Buffy nodded. “I don’t wanna impose…”

Buffy rolled her eyes, interrupting him. “Don’t be ridiculous! I just invited you, how could that be imposing?” She went on, her eyes twinkling; “In fact, turning down an invitation like that would be quite rude.”

He shrugged, helplessly, then chuckled again. ”Wouldn’t wanna be rude.”

She gave him a bright smile. “So, you’ll be there?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there. What time?”

Buffy looked at her watch, then bit her lip thoughtfully. “Around seven? That okay with you?”

Spike pretended to be thinking about it for a moment, before nodding. “I think I’ll be able to make it.” It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to be, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Great!”

The happy smile on her face made him feel all warm inside. He smiled back at her, realizing that he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d smiled this much. “So, I guess I’ll see you tonight then.”

She nodded eagerly. “Yeah, seven o’clock, you know the address.” Then she looked down at the box of cereal she was still holding, and remembered that she had to be at work in less than twenty minutes. “Oh my God, I gotta go! See you tonight, don’t be late!” With that she grabbed her trolley and rushed towards the cash register, leaving Spike to look after her with a grin on his face.


TBC

”Mommy, can I help? Please, please, pretty please? Can I chop the vegetables? Or stir the sauce? Please?” Hannah was practically bouncing up and down, and Buffy had to smile at her daughter’s enthusiasm. When she’d told the girl that Spike was coming for dinner, Hannah had let out a squeal loud enough to wake the dead.

And to tell the truth, Buffy was kind of excited as well, even though she, unlike Hannah, didn’t act like a little kid on a sugar rush. They didn’t have much company, and dinner guests were highly rare. Buffy loved to cook, but somehow it seemed kind of meaningless to prepare a five-course dinner when it was just her and Hannah, who refused to eat anything she didn’t know exactly what it was.

“No chopping, you’re way too young for handling sharp knives. And the sauce is already cooking, there’s no need to…” Buffy stopped when she saw the disappointed look on Hannah’s face, and realized how negative and grown-up she sounded. What could be the harm in letting the girl help a little? Honestly, when was the last time her daughter had been this thrilled about anything?

“Actually, the table still needs setting, but I need someone strong enough to carry all those plates and glasses…” Buffy did her best to look serious, silently counting to five…

“Oh! Oh! Me! Me! I’m strong, I can do it! Can I, can I?!”

Buffy pretended to be thinking hard. “You’re really sure you can carry all those heavy plates without dropping them?” The girl nodded eagerly. “Okay, go ahead.” Hannah rushed over to the kitchen cabinet, a huge grin on her face. Her face fell a little when she realized that she couldn’t reach the shelf where the glasses were, she usually just grabbed one from the dish stand.

Holding her breath, Buffy waited to see how the girl was going to solve her little dilemma. Hannah seemed to be thinking for a moment, then the smile was back and she hurried over to the kitchen table, grabbing one of the chairs, and dragged it after her back to the cabinet. After climbing it, she had no trouble reaching the items in there.

Buffy shook her head in amusement. If helping around the house made her daughter so happy, how come it was nearly impossible to get the girl to clean her own room, or make her bed? But of course, this was different. She smiled to herself. It was nice to see Hannah this excited. And all because of a stranger.

Buffy had never done something like this before; inviting a complete stranger home for dinner. But it was the least she could do, after all, not only had the guy made sure her daughter got home safely yesterday, he had also saved her from falling flat on her ass in the grocery store this morning. Yeah, right, she thought, and those eyes and the fact that he looks like a greek god has nothing to do with it?

He was gorgeous, alright. But Buffy couldn’t help but thinking that there was something… gloomy about him. Even though he’d smiled a lot, he still seemed sad, and Buffy wondered why. Getting lost in her pondering, Hannah had to call three times to catch her mother’s attention.

“Mommy!”

Shaking her head, as if to clear it, Buffy looked down at her daughter. “Sorry, honey. What did you say?”

Hannah smiled brightly. “I’ve finished setting the table. And I didn’t drop anything. Well, except for the butter knife, but it didn’t break because it’s made of plastic. And look mommy, I folded the napkins so they look like flowers, like I learned in school!”

The girl was beaming, and Buffy smiled at her, following her into the living room. “Very good, sweetie!” Hannah smiled back, very pleased with the praise.

“What time is it now, mommy?” Hannah had been asking that question every five minutes since they started with the dinner preparations, and even though Buffy was more than tired of it, she didn’t tell the girl off.

“It’s six thirty.” She knew what was coming next.

“How long ‘til Spike gets here?”

Buffy had to suppress a laugh. The girl was just so predictable. But who could blame her for being excited? “Still about half an hour.” Then, an idea popped up. “Why don’t you go upstairs and make your bed, and maybe pick up some of your toys from the floor?”

The girl looked like Buffy had just suggested that she’d go to the dentist and have all of her teeth pulled out. “But mommy…”

“What if Spike wants to see your room? Do you really want him to see what a mess it is?” Buffy gave her a firm look, trying not to smile. Hannah’s eyes widened in horror at the mere thought, and she hurried out of the kitchen. The next thing Buffy heard was the sound of her daughter’s footsteps as she ran upstairs.

Suddenly the phone rang, and for a moment Buffy feared that it would be Spike, calling to cancel. Then she had to roll her eyes at herself as she remembered that she hadn’t given him her phone number. “Hello?”

The voice in the other end of the line was loud, and not at all friendly. “Kathy says that your daughter got her in trouble with the teacher yesterday. What do you have to say about that?”

Buffy closed her eyes, silently cursing. She was so not in a mood for this. “Cordelia, I can assure you that whatever happened, it was your daughter who started it, not Hannah.”

A moment of silence. Then… “How dare you accuse my Kathy of lying? I’ve raised my daughter better than that, which is more than I can say about you. Now, I want an apology from you. And I expect Hannah to do the same, Kathy was crushed when she came home, saying that Miss Burkle shouted at her for something Hannah did.”

Buffy felt tears of fury welling up in her eyes. Cordelia Chase had once been one of her best friends, but that was a long time ago. “Well, you’re not getting one, neither from me, nor from Hannah. Whatever your daughter got was nothing more than she deserved, maybe that’ll teach her to stop being mean to my girl. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do than listening to your accusations. Good bye.” With that Buffy hang up, angrily throwing the cordless phone away from her.

Her good mood had flown right out the window, and it was all Cordelia’s fault, hers and her little brat for a daughter. Buffy blinked a couple of times, refusing to let the tears fall. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down. Hannah would be down soon, and she didn’t want the girl to see how upset she was. She walked over to the stove, deciding to forget about the phone call and concentrating on the food.

Everything looked perfect, and after a few minutes she relaxed. She was still furious, but she would deal with that later. Right now, she had a dinner to focus on. As soon as she’d finished that thought, the door bell rang, causing her to jump. Spike had arrived.


TBC

”Do you have a dog?” Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes, but Hannah just ignored her mother and looked at Spike with an expectant look on her face. From the moment Spike arrived, Hannah had followed him like a puppy, asking all kinds of questions, and she wasn’t about to stop just because they were now siting at the dinner table.

Luckily, Spike didn’t seem to mind. “No, I don’t have a dog.”

“Oh.” Hannah looked disappointed for a moment, then the smile was back. “Do you have a cat?”

Spike chuckled. “No, I don’t.”

“Hannah.” Buffy gave her daughter a warning look. “Stop asking so much, and finish your dinner.”

Hannah sighed loudly, rolling her eyes at Spike as if to say ‘see what I have to put up with?’, and took a small bite of her sandwich. After chewing and swallowing, she already had her next question ready. “Do you hate animals?”

Buffy groaned, giving Spike an apologetic look, but he just seemed to be amused by the whole thing. “No, I like animals. But my…” He hesitated for a moment, which passed unnoticed by Hannah, but not Buffy. “…ex, couldn’t have pets in the house. She was allergic.”

Hannah nodded in understanding. “Oh. What a bummer. I’m not allergic to anything, but mommy’s allergic to shellfish. She likes it, but she can’t eat it. She says it gives her gas.” She then showed some more chicken into her mouth, oblivious of the horrified look on her mother’s face.

“Hannah!” Buffy’s face had turned bright red.

“What?” The girl gave her an innocent look. Spike did his best to stay serious, but failed miserably. He tried to cover up by coughing, before looking at Buffy with raised brows. She glared at him, too embarrassed for words. Then she mumbled something about dessert, and disappeared into the kitchen.

Hannah looked after her mother in confusion, then gave Spike a worried look. “Did I say something wrong?”

Spike tried to keep from chuckling, finding Buffy’s embarrassment extremely funny, but not wanting to hurt Hannah’s feelings. “Not at all, little bit.”

The girl looked relieved, then kept talking like nothing happened; “When I was little, I really wanted a rhino. But mommy said I couldn’t have one.”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, I understand a rhino would be a little too big for sleeping in your bed.”

Hannah giggled. “He wouldn’t be sleeping there, silly! He’d be sleeping in the bath tub!”

“Of course.”

The girl went on, and Spike caught himself wondering if she ever needed to breathe. “If I had a dog, he’d be sleeping in my bed. Mommy wouldn’t like it, but I wouldn’t tell her. He’d have to stay down on the floor until mommy comes to say good night, and then I’d tell him to jump up when she leaves.” She suddenly got a worried look on her face. “Don’t tell mommy I said that.”

Spike couldn’t see the point of telling, since the girl didn’t even have a dog, but he put on a serious expression, pretending to zip his lips closed. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Hannah looked very pleased.

Buffy came back into the living room, a moment later, carrying three bowls of ice-cream. “Hannah, if you want dessert, you’ll have to drink your milk.”

Hannah pouted. “But mommy, I don’t like milk!”

“You don’t?” Spike pretended to be surprised. “You’re really lucky to get milk, all I ever get to drink at dinners is water, or red wine, like this.” He nodded at his glass with a grimace, pretending to be disgusted. Then he winked at Buffy to let her know he didn’t really minded, but Hannah didn’t notice, she just looked at Spike with wide eyes.

“You like milk?”

“Are you kidding?” Spike gave her a serious look. “I love milk!” Hannah kept looking at him for a moment, as if to see if he really meant it. Then she looked down at her glass. Buffy held her breath, waiting to see what would happen. And she wasn’t disappointed, Hannah picked up her glass, a determined expression on her face as she lifted it to her mouth, and drank it all. Then she looked from her mother, to Spike, looking extremely proud of herself.

Buffy just stared at her daughter, mouth open in shock, she’d never gotten Hannah to drink her milk that easily. That’s it, I’m so keeping him! Then she snapped out of it, looking down at the table where she’d put down the ice-cream. “Looks like I forgot the spoons.”

“I’ll get them!” Hannah jumped up from the chair, eager to help, and rushed into the kitchen.

Buffy just shook her head in amusement. She waited until she was sure Hannah wouldn’t hear her, before speaking; “That was quite impressive, how you got her to drink her milk.”

Spike just shrugged, smiling. “Was nothing. Just a little reversed psychology, works every time.”

“Still, I’m impressed.” She smiled back, before adding; “You really should have kids of your own, you’d be a great dad.” His smile disappeared, and Buffy realized that she’d said something wrong. Although, she didn’t get the chance to ask what it was, or apologize, as Hannah came running back with the spoons.

The girl had heard the last part, and now gave Spike a curious look. “Why don’t you have kids?”

Buffy jumped in before Spike could answer, not that he’d had any idea what to say. “Hannah, that’s not a polite thing to ask.”

Hannah looked confused. “Why not?”

“Because…” Buffy gave Spike a helpless look, but he seemed to be at loss for words. “Because things like that are personal. Now, eat your ice-cream, it’s already past your bedtime.” Hannah started to object, insisting that she shouldn’t have to go to bed so early when Spike was there, but Buffy gave her a firm look, and the girl gave in with a sigh.

They finished their desserts in silence, and Buffy started to feel a little uncomfortable, for the first time that night. It was almost a relief when Hannah loudly declared that she was done eating, and wanted to go upstairs and get ready for bed. Buffy reminded her to brush her teeth, and then Hannah was gone, after making Spike promise that he’d come up when she was done, to say good night.

When they were finally alone, Buffy took a deep breath, giving Spike a worried look. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong before.”

Spike smiled at her, but just like earlier, in the supermarket, the smile seemed a bit strained. “Don’t worry about it, it’s okay.”

“No, really.” Buffy looked down at her hands. “I sometimes have a tendency of putting my foot in my mouth without even realizing it. I think it runs in the family, Hannah’s exactly the same, sorry about the third degree she was giving you, by the way.”

He chuckled then. “No worries. She’s a nice kid. Smart, too.”

Buffy laughed. “She sure is. They suggested that she’d skip first grade, but I said no. I don’t want her to feel like she’s different than the other kids.” She became quiet for a moment, before adding; “God knows she gets to hear that enough as it is.”

Spike gave her a curious look. “What do you mean?”

Before Buffy could answer, they could hear Hannah calling from upstairs; “I’m all done! I want a bedtime-story!” Buffy started to get up, when the girl called again; “Not you, mommy, Spike!”

Buffy rolled her eyes, then gave Spike an apologetic look. “You don’t have to…”

Spike interrupted her, pretending to be hurt. “You don’t think I can read a bedtime-story?”

She blushed, opening her mouth to protest, when she realized that he was only teasing her. “Very funny. Consider yourself warned, though, once she’s got you reading her stories, you’ll be stuck there for hours.”

He gave her a grin. “Yeah, well, what can I say? If the niblet wants a story, that’s what she’ll get. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a pretty lady waiting for me upstairs.” With that, he got up and headed for the stairs.

Buffy pouted for a moment, finding herself all alone in the living room. Great, dumped for a seven-year-old! Then she couldn’t help but giggle. She’d be lucky if she got to see him again, at all, tonight, Hannah had a tendency of making the shortest bedtime-story last forever. Well, she had warned him, after all. But then she remembered how patiently Spike had handled all of Hannah’s questions at dinner, and realized that he probably wouldn’t mind too much. Yeah, she thought, smiling to herself, I’ll definitely keep him!”



TBC

Buffy had just finished cleaning up in the kitchen, when Spike came back down. “It took five stories, but now she’s finally asleep.”

She laughed. “Told you so, didn’t I? Consider yourself her slave for life.” Putting what was left of the food into the fridge, Buffy took out the bottle of wine she’d opened earlier. “Want some more of this? Or maybe you’d prefer a nice glass of milk?” She raised her eyebrows, a teasing note in her voice.

“Ha bloody ha. Got her to drink her soddin’ milk, didn’t I?” He pretended to be offended, and Buffy giggled. She grabbed two new glasses from the kitchen cabinet and gestured for him to follow her into the living room.

They sat down next to each other on the couch, sipping on their wine, and Buffy suddenly felt shy. It had all been very nice and innocent when Hannah had been around, but now it was just the two of them, and that made it all feel less like a formal dinner and more like a date. She cleared her throat, desperate to start a conversation. “So…”

He looked at her, and she realized that he seemed to be just as nervous as she was. “So… This was really nice, I’ve had a great time tonight.”

Buffy nodded in agreement, relieved to have something safe to talk about. “Me too! And I know Hannah did too, you should’ve seen her when I told her you were coming over tonight. I’ve never seen her more excited about anything, she practically adores you.”

Spike looked a little surprised, but at the same time pleased. “Well, I like her too, she’s a really great kid.”

Smiling a little, Buffy took another sip of her wine. “The way she acted tonight was totally off character for her. She’s usually kind of shy around new people. She always has been. I practically had to drag her to school the first day, she was terrified of meeting all those new kids. I promised her that once she’d gotten to know them, she’d love being there, but…” She became quiet.

Spike waited for her to go on, but she seemed to be lost in thoughts. “You said something earlier, about Hannah getting to hear she’s different?”

Buffy sighed. “You know how kids can be so cruel sometimes. Hannah’s the sweetest little girl, and they’re just so mean to her. That’s why she took off yesterday, by the way. Another girl pushed her, and everybody laughed. And it wasn’t the first time.”

“What about the teachers? What are they doing about it?” Spike had a concerned look on his face, clearly not liking what he was hearing.

Shrugging, Buffy let out a frustrated groan. “They claim to be completely unaware of that anything’s going on in their school. Hannah came home last week, crying because some older boy stole her lunch money. Of course, no one had seen a thing.” She blinked away a few tears that threatened to fall. “I just feel so helpless. They’re hurting my baby, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.”

Spike hesitated for a moment, then took her hand, squeezing it gently. “Have you tried talking to the other parents?”

“Of course I have. But they refuse to believe that their precious little angels could be doing something wrong.” She rolled her eyes as she recalled the phone call she’d received earlier that night. “Some of them even have the nerve of blaming Hannah for getting their kids in trouble. It’s ridiculous!”

“I’m sorry.” Spike looked down at the small hand he was still cradling in his, amazed at how soft it was. “I wish there was something I could do.”

Buffy gave him a small smile. “You already did something. You have any idea how happy you made her, just by coming here tonight?”

Spike smiled back at her. “I’m glad to hear that, but it was nothing. You make it sound like I’m some kind of hero, but I’m not. I’m the one who should be thanking you for inviting me over tonight. It was really nice of you, and I appreciate it.” Seeing that she was about to object, he went on before she could say anything; “In fact, I’d like to take you out tomorrow, both of you. If you don’t mind, that is.”

She did her best to hide her excitement; Spike wanted to see her again! It wasn’t like he was asking her out on a real date or anything, since Hannah was going to be there as well, but still. She tried not to sound to eager. “That sounds really nice. What time? And where are we going?” Then she realized that he was still holding her hand, praying that he wouldn’t feel how sweaty it had become. Gross!

“Actually, it’s a surprise. Ten o’clock, that okay with you?” Spike tried not to let it show how relieved, not to mention happy, he was. Buffy had agreed to see him again! Not that it was a date or anything, but still.

Buffy frowned. “I assumed you meant tomorrow night. I have to work, and Hannah’s got school.”

Spike gave her a smile that made her knees go weak. “Can’t you just take the day off? And I bet Hannah won’t be missing out on anything, after what you told me, I’d say she could use a day off as well.”

“Well…” Buffy thought about it. She hadn’t been away from work for a single day, all year. And Hannah would be thrilled. “I guess. Sure!” She returned his smile. “But I really wish you’d tell me where we were going.”

He chuckled. “Told you it’s a surprise, didn’t I? What part of that didn’t you get?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Their eyes met, and suddenly, all she could think about was how it would be like to kiss him. It was crazy, because no matter how nice Spike was, or how well they were getting along, they really didn’t know each other. She realized that even though they had talked all night, he’d hardly told her anything about himself. Nothing personal, anyway. She'd learned that he was currently between jobs, that he had an ex girlfriend who was allergic to animals, and that he didn’t have any kids of his own, something that he seemed to be somewhat sensitive about for some unknown reason, but that was about it.

She really didn’t know anything about him. But that didn’t scare her. She was determined to find out as much about him as she could, and tomorrow would be a perfect opportunity to start.


TBC

“Come on you guys, hurry up!” Hannah gave Buffy and Spike a look of impatience, then spotted something that caught her interest. “Oh look, it’s a giraffe!” She started towards the large animals, leaving her mother and Spike behind.

Spike gave Buffy an apologetic, almost shy, look. “I admit, it’s not the most original idea, but…” He shrugged, suddenly looking nervous.

Buffy giggled. “Are you kidding, it’s great! The Sunnydale Zoo, I never would’ve guessed. It’s been years since we’ve been here, I forgot how much Hannah loved this place.” She looked at him, curiously. “How did you know?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know, it was just the way she was talking about all those animals last night. Figured she’d like it here.”

Realizing that he’d actually made an effort of taking them somewhere he knew Hannah would appreciate made Buffy feel deeply touched. She was beaming at him. “It’s perfect.” He looked relieved, and was just about to say something, when Hannah came running.

“Can we go see the elephants? And the lions? And the rhinos? And look! They have a carousel, with horses! Can I go ride it? Please!” The girl was jumping up and down, and Buffy couldn’t help but share her enthusiasm, realizing that the girl was even more excited today than she’d been last night.

“Of course, honey. We’ll be waiting right here.” Hannah’s smile was so wide, Buffy almost thought it would split her face in two. The girl let out a squeal and took off, heading for the carousel.

Buffy laughed, softly. “You should’ve seen her when I told her she didn’t have to go to school today. She was so happy, I thought she’d fly through the roof.”

“She doesn’t like school very much, does she?” Spike watched Hannah on the carousel before turning to Buffy.

“No, she likes it a lot. When the other kids leave her alone, that is.” Buffy sighed, suddenly looking tired.

Spike nodded in understanding. “What’s that all about then? Why are the kids picking on her?”

“Most of the times they don’t even need a reason. She’s nice and quiet and shy, never talks back. A perfect victim for bullies.” Buffy rolled her eyes, then took a deep breath. “When they do need a reason, they pick on her because of her father.”

Spike looked surprised. Then he seemed to recall something. “First time I met her, she said she didn’t have parents, just her mummy.”

“Yeah, well…” Buffy hesitated, not sure if this was the right time, or place for that matter, to be having this particular conversation.

He noticed her discomfort. “Sorry, that’s none of my business, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, I don’t mind talking about it, it’s just…” Buffy hesitated again. “It’s kind of a long story, and I don’t wanna ruin this nice day by talking about things that are… less nice. Like Hannah’s father.”

“I understand.” Spike was dying to know all about the wanker, but didn’t want to push the matter.

Buffy glanced at the carousel to make sure her daughter was still there and not on her way back. She was. “Hannah’s father, Liam, never wanted to be a father in the first place. He made it perfectly clear from the beginning that he wouldn’t be there for me if I decided to keep the baby. He actually suggested that I…” She swallowed. “That I’d have an abortion. He even offered to pay for it, that bastard. I guess money’s never been an issue when it’s something he really wants. Of course I refused, I would never do something that horrible.”


“Appointment for what? What are you talking about?”

“For having the abortion, of course. Drusilla wasn’t going to keep the child, Mr Pratt. Surely, you knew about that?”


Spike shook his head as if to clear it, having heard the doctor’s voice so clearly as if he’d been back at the clinic, reliving that moment all over again. Suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick.

“Spike, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Buffy gave him a worried look.

He gave her a smile that he hoped would be convincing, forcing the bad memories to the back of his mind. “Nothing’s wrong. Really.“ Buffy didn’t look convinced. “Look, Hannah’s probably done riding the carousel, we should go check on her.” He started walking, and Buffy followed, still with a frown on her face.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“And the monkeys were so cute, and did you see the zebras?!” Hannah stopped talking for a second, needing to breathe, then went on; “I really liked the rhinos, did you see that they had babies? Oh look, the snake-house!” She gave her mother a pleading look, but Buffy shook her head firmly.

“Forget it, I’m not going in there.”

Hannah pouted, then looked at Spike, a hopeful look on her face. Of course, he wasn't able to resist that. “Right, let’s go.” He was rewarded with a huge smile as Hannah grabbed his hand and started pulling him in the direction of the snake-house.

Buffy smiled to herself, siting down on a nearby bench to wait for Spike and Hannah to return. She couldn’t believe how quickly the day had passed, they had been at the zoo for almost six hours. Hannah had enjoyed every minute of it, and to tell the truth, so had she. Except for that one awkward moment back at the carousel, everything had been perfect. Hannah had been looking at the different animals for hours, giving Buffy and Spike plenty of time to talk and get to know each other, and Buffy realized that the more she got to know him, the more she liked him. And it seemed like the feeling was mutual.

They hadn’t talked more about Hannah’s father, nor had he explained what it was that had upset him earlier, he could deny it all he wanted, but Buffy knew he’d been lying when he’d said that nothing was wrong. She wanted to know what it had been about, but wasn’t going to push, he’d tell her if he wanted to. This man fascinated her in a way she couldn’t quite put her finger on, not to mention that he made her feel things she’d feared she’d never feel again. But she realized that it took more than just a day to get to know someone, she needed to be patient.

She was also amazed at how good he was with Hannah, and that was important. She could never be with a man who couldn’t accept the fact that Hannah was the most important person in her life. Spike not only seemed to understand that, but he also seemed to really care about her daughter. And it was obvious that Hannah already adored him. There was just one thing that worried her. What if things wouldn’t work out, what if Spike would realize that the whole family thing wasn’t for him after all, and walk out of their lives? Hannah would be crushed.

And truth to be told, so would she. She had only known Spike for a couple of days, and she already had a hard time imagining her life without him in it. It wasn’t like her to fall for a man so soon, and so deep. Maybe she’d be better off if she’d try to put up some distance between them. But for some reason, she had a feeling that it was already too late for that, she wouldn’t be able to stay away from him, even if she tried. And maybe that was for the best, anyway. Because she had a feeling, deep inside, that Spike was there to stay.



TBC

”You like my mommy, don’t you?” Hannah kept her attention on the snakes as she asked the question, and Spike was, once again, taken aback by the girl’s bluntness. He was a bit startled by the serious note in Hannah’s voice, having not seen that coming.

“What do you mean, niblet?” The girl looked at him then, giving him a look as if to say ‘don’t be stupid, you know exactly what I mean’. Yeah, he thought, she’s a smart kid, alright. Almost too smart. He sighed. “Yes, of course I like your mum.”

Hannah nodded, a thoughtful look on her face. “Are you and mommy going to get married?”

Spike stared at the girl in shock. “What?!” He cringed at the shrill sound of his voice, and cleared his throat. “What in the world gave you that idea?”

Shrugging, Hannah once again seemed to be taking a huge interest in the animals in the cage in front of her. For some reason, she didn’t seem to want to look at him. “I don’t know. Mommy likes you very much, and you like her. And you don’t have any kids, and I don’t have a daddy. If you and mommy get married, you can be my new daddy.”

Swallowing, Spike realized that the girl was dead-serious, and he had no idea what to tell her. Something about Hannah’s words made him feel strangely warm inside, but, at the same time, it scared the hell out of him. He most certainly did not want to have this conversation, he would just screw things up, big time. Where the bloody hell was Buffy when he needed her, she was the one who was supposed to talk to her daughter about these things, not him! He realized that he was panicking, and had to roll his eyes at himself.

The girl had yet to look at him, and he knew that she waited for his reaction, not to mention an answer. He took a deep breath. “Hannah, you know I can’t just…” He hesitated. “For two people to get married…” He stopped again, unsure of how to go on.

Hannah finally turned around, and it almost broke his heart to see the tears in her eyes. “You don’t want to be my daddy, do you?”

Spike closed his eyes for a moment, feeling awful for being the one to put that miserable look on the girl’s face. “Hannah…”

“That’s okay.” Hannah blinked away the tears, desperately trying to stop her bottom lip from trembling. “My real dad didn’t want me either. He has a new family now.”

Kneeling next to her on the floor and taking her tiny hands in his, Spike looked the girl right in the eyes, a serious expression on his face. ”Listen to me, bit. This has nothing to do with you. I like you very much, and that’s not going to change. But I don’t have to be married to your mother for us to spend time together, like we do right now. I’m your friend, okay? I always will be. And I hope your mum will let me be her friend as well. But we can’t just get married, you’ll have to be in love for that.”

Hannah wiped at her eyes, giving him a confused look. “Don’t you love mommy?”

He smiled a little. “I don’t know your mum all that well yet, sweetheart. I like her, but falling in love takes time. And it’s complicated, there are a lot of things that have to be… I don’t know, right.”

She still looked confused. “But how do you know when you love someone?”

“I don’t know. You just… feel it, I guess.” Spike sighed, not sure if that’s what she wanted to hear. But, thankfully, Hannah seemed to be satisfied with that answer.

“Okay. But can you and mommy at least try to love each other?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. The girl was persistent, alright. “I tell you what. I’ll ask your mum if she wants to have dinner with me some time, just the two of us. Then we can get to know each other a little better, but I’m not going to promise anything more than that. You understand?”

The girl was beaming at him, tears forgotten. “That would be so great, you and mommy are going on a date!” Then she seemed to remember something. “You’ll have to kiss her, you know, people always kiss each other when they’re on dates.”

Spike’s smile disappeared. “You’re not suppose to know what people do when they’re on dates, you’re way too young for that!” Hannah just smiled, and he rolled his eyes. “And I haven’t even asked her out yet, for all I know, she might turn me down.”

Hannah gave him a bright smile, not a least bit worried about that. “Trust me, she won’t!”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy got up from the bench when she saw Spike and Hannah leaving the snake-house, making her way towards them. She smiled at her daughter when the girl spotted her. “So, how did you like the snakes?”

“They were cool.” Hannah seemed to be thinking hard about something, then her face lit up. “I wanna go look at the penguins! They’re right over there…” She pointed to a large cage behind them. “…so I can go by myself. You two can stay right here.” She ignored the suspicious look Spike threw in her direction, looking at her mother and adding, with a pleading note in her voice; “Please, mommy?”

Buffy was oblivious of Hannah’s eagerness to get her mother and Spike alone together. “Sure, sweetie. Just don’t go too far, just to the penguins, alright?” Hannah nodded, a serious look on her face. “Okay, Spike and I will be waiting over here.”

Hannah smiled at Spike, clearly pleased with herself. “Now you can ask her!” Then she turned around and rushed off, heading towards the penguins.

Buffy stared after the girl, then turned to Spike with a look of confusion on her face. “Ask me what? What’s going on?” Spike silently cursed Hannah’s ‘helpfulness’, glaring after her. This was definitely not how he’d planned on doing this. “Spike?” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to explain.

“Well…” Spike hesitated, not sure of what to say. Suddenly he was beyond embarrassed. Oh bollocks!


TBC

Buffy looked at Spike, arms still crossed and an expectant look on her face. It was obvious how nervous he was. She realized that it was probably because of her, and for some reason she found that kind of funny. She did her best to hide her amusement. “Well?” Then she couldn’t help but giggle. “Are you blushing?”

Spike snorted. “Not bloody likely!” He glared at her as she kept giggling.

“Sorry.” She tried to stay serious. “So, what is it my daughter wanted you to ask me? If it’s about me buying her a rhino again, just forget it, it’s not happening.”

He pretended to be shocked. “You’re telling me you don’t want a rhino sleeping in the bath tub?” Buffy just rolled her eyes. “Actually, it’s not about a rhino. And it’s not about Hannah, it’s about me. I was just wondering if you…” He hesitated, suddenly convinced that if he asked her out, she’d turn him down for sure. “If you wanted to…” He looked around, desperate to come up with something. “…ride the ferris wheel with me.”

Buffy looked a little confused for a moment, then gave him a wide smile. “I haven’t done that for years, I even forgot the zoo had one. I always loved when I was on top!” Then she frowned. “That didn’t come out right, did it?” He raised his eyebrows, and now it was her turn to blush. She hurried to change the subject; “Anyway, I’d love to go. Why don’t you go and buy the tickets, and I’ll go let Hannah know where we’re going.”

“Sure… okay.” Silently cursing himself for his stupidity, Spike went to buy the tickets. Why couldn’t he just had asked Buffy what he really wanted to ask her? And what had he been thinking when he’d suggested the bloody ferris wheel?! He’d been panicking, just saying the first thing that came to his mind. Why couldn’t he just had looked in the other direction, now he had to take Buffy riding that damn thing, and he was absolutely terrified of heights!


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Oh my God, Spike, look! You can see all the way to the ocean, isn’t it beautiful?” Buffy was beaming at him, and he tried to smile at her, although it came out more like a grimace.

“Bloody amazing, pet.” He stubbornly kept his eyes on the floor, refusing to look up. Why was the soddin’ ride taking so long? Maybe something was wrong, and they would be stuck up here for hours. What the bloody hell had he gotten himself into?! This was hell, no question about it.

“You’re not looking!” Buffy pouted. Had they been anywhere else, he probably would’ve found that amusing, but now, he didn’t even react.

“I did. Very quickly. You probably just didn’t notice.”

She frowned. “You did not!”

“Did too! And what’s to look at, anyway? You’ve seen one bleedin’ ocean, you’ve seen them all.” Oh bollocks, he was going to die! And all because he was such a coward that he couldn’t just go ahead and ask Buffy out. He really was an idiot!

“Spike?” Buffy suddenly sounded amused. “Are you afraid of heights?”

He snorted. “Me? Afraid? Hell no!” He was way beyond afraid by now, he was bloody terrified.

Buffy gave him a doubtful look. “Then why are your eyes closed?”

Spike’s eyes snapped open. “I’m not afraid! I’m just… bored. Yeah. This is boring, no point in looking then, is there?” She raised her eyebrows, trying hard not to giggle. He rolled his eyes. “Fine! I’m afraid, alright! Happy now?”

“Aww!” She had a huge grin on her face. “I never would’ve guessed. That’s so cute!” He glared at her. “Sorry. Not cute. No.” Buffy tried to stay serious, pretending to zip her lips closed. Then she got a confused expression on her face. “Wait, if you’re so afraid of heights, why did you wanna do this in the first place? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Sure it does. It makes perfectly sense. Because…” He stopped, a miserable look on his face. “Because I’m a bloody idiot.”

Buffy couldn’t help but smile. “No, you’re not. But seriously, there’s nothing to be afraid of. These things are perfectly safe, we’ll be back on the ground in no time. Besides…” She suddenly got a mischievous look on her face. “…sometimes, it has its advantages to be high above ground like this, away from all prying eyes.”

He looked at her in confusion. “And what’s that?”

“Well…” Spike waited for her to go on. The last thing he’d expected her to do was leaning over and kiss him, softly on the lips. But she did. The kiss only lasted for a couple of seconds, or so he thought. It could’ve been hours, because the moment her lips touched his, he lost all track of time. Then she pulled back, leaving him to stare at her in shock. “What…? Why…?”

She gave him an innocent smile. “Look, we’re on our way down.”

“What?” He looked to where she was pointing, realizing that she was right. “Oh, yeah. Thank God!” Then he glanced at her, clearing his throat. “I mean… this was nothing!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Right!” She gave him a curious look. “Do you mind explaining to me why we’re up here? Not that I mind, but…” She shrugged.

Suddenly he felt very stupid. “I panicked, okay? I was going to ask you something else, but then I…” He looked away, not wanting her to see how embarrassed he was.

“Okay. What were you really going to ask me?” Buffy looked at him, waiting for him to answer.

Spike swallowed. “Well, I just wanted to ask you if…” He took a deep breath. “Ifyouwantedtohavedinnerwithmesometime.”

Buffy frowned. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh bloody hell! I said, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to have dinner with me some time.” She just looked at him, then opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to it. “You don’t have to! I mean, you don’t have to feel like you… I don’t mind if you don’t…”

“Spike!” Buffy stopped him in his ramblings. “I’d love to have dinner with you. When? Is tomorrow night too soon?”


TBC

Buffy flew through the front door, cursing and muttering to herself. She was late, very late, and tonight of all nights. She’d been held up at work, again, and now it was almost six o’clock, which meant that it was less than two hours until Spike would be picking her up for their date. “Hello! I’m home! So sorry I’m late!” She looked around, waiting for an answer. Then she sighed. There was just no way she’d be able to get herself ready, and take Hannah over to her mother’s, who’d promised to babysit tonight, and be back again before Spike would get there.

“Hey Buffy! Your boss held you up again?” Buffy’s best friend, Willow, came down the stairs, a sympathetic smile on her face.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and tonight I really needed to get out of there in time, but did he care? No! I swear to you, Willow, Snyder’s just an evil, insensitive… stupid guy, and I really wish…” She spotted the clock on the wall, gasping in shock. “Oh my God, it can’t be that much already!”

Willow just looked amused. “What’s the hurry, Buffy? Hot date tonight?”

Buffy stopped, suddenly looking ashamed. “God, Willow, I’m sorry. Self centric much, Buffy? Thank you so much for picking up Hannah from school and staying here with her. Where is she, is she okay?”

“Sure, Buffy.” Willow gave her an assuring smile. “She’s upstairs, playing with her dolls. And you know I don’t mind picking her up every once in a while, I love spending time with her.” Then her eyes narrowed. “But you! You’ve been keeping things from me, missy! You should be ashamed of yourself, keeping stuff from your best friend is not allowed, and you know it.”

Frowning, Buffy looked at her in confusion, and Willow smiled, hurrying to explain. “Hannah told me you met someone, a guy! Spike, was it? It’s all she’s been talking about, from the moment I picked her up at school it’s been Spike this and Spike that. I have to tell you, Buffy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her being this enthusiastic before. The guy has to be really something to get Hannah this worked up.”

Buffy’s frown disappeared, and she couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, she pretty much adores him.” Then she looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry, Will, it wasn’t like I was trying to hide anything from you, really. It’s just that this is all still so new, and…” She hesitated. “Willow, I don’t have time to do the whole talking thing right now, no matter how much I’d love to tell you all about it. I have to take Hannah to my mother’s, and it would be really nice to get out of these clothes and take a shower before I have to go.”

Now, Willow looked surprised. “Joyce is babysitting? Wow, he really must be special, for you to go there willingly. I thought you said you won’t be setting your foot in that house again until she dumps that jerk she’s been seeing. What was his name again?”

“Ugh! Ted!” Buffy spat the name out, a disgusted look on her face. “I really hate him. To think that my mother’s letting him stay, not only in the house, but in her bed as well? It’s just… ugh!”

Willow did her best to stay serious, knowing how much Buffy hated the fact that her mother was dating any man who wasn’t her father. Then an idea hit her. “I tell you what. Why don’t I just stay here with Hannah tonight? I don’t mind, and then you won’t have to go all the way through town when you’re already late.”

Eyes widening, Buffy stared at her best friend. “Really? That would be so…!” Then she paused. “No, I couldn’t ask you to…”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. And you don’t have a choice, see my resolve face?” Willow gave Buffy a firm look, daring her to object.

Letting out the breath she’d been holding, Buffy couldn’t help but giggle. “Can’t argue with that now, can I?” Willow shook her head, and Buffy gave her a big hug. “Thank you so much, Will! You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Willow waved her hand in dismiss, a huge smile on her face. “No problem, I love Hannah, you know that. Besides, now you can tell me all about this new mysterious man in your life while you’re getting ready!”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Okay, sweetie, Spike will be here any time now, you’re gonna behave yourself tonight with Willow?” Buffy looked at her daughter, trying not to laugh. One could think that it was actually Hannah who was going out tonight, the girl was almost more excited than Buffy was. Or, more likely, Buffy was just doing a better job at covering up.

Hannah nodded, a serious expression on her face. “Sure, mommy.”

“That’s my girl.” Buffy smiled, then glanced at her watch. “He should be here by now.” She gave Willow a worried look. “Should I panic? What if he’s changed his mind?”

Willow was just about to say something, but Hannah beat her to it; “Spike wouldn’t do that! He really likes you, mommy. And I told him you really like him, as well.” She smiled brightly, obviously very pleased with herself.

“You told him what?! Buffy groaned. “Hannah, you don’t just go and tell people things like that!”

Hannah looked confused. “Why not? People should be happy when someone likes them.”

Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again. She glanced over at Willow for help, but the red-head just shrugged. “She’s got a point.” She was rewarded by a wide smile from Hannah.

“Fine!” Rolling her eyes, Buffy looked at her watch again. “He’s late. Where is he? What if something’s happened?”

“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute now, Buffy, don’t worry.” Willow smiled at her, trying to look convincing.

“Yeah, mommy. He’ll be here.” Hannah sounded totally confident, and Buffy didn’t have the heart to let her own doubts show.

“Yes, I’m sure he will be, honey.” Buffy sighed. He’ll better be, anyway, she thought. Because if he’s standing me up, I’m so gonna kick his ass! Then she swallowed. Or more likely, she thought, miserably, I’ll spend the rest of the night alone in bed, bawling my eyes out.


TBC

Spike grabbed his car keys from the table and headed for the door. If he left now, he would probably arrive at Buffy’s house a bit early, but for some reason he didn’t think she’d mind. She had seemed just as excited about this date as he was, and he couldn’t believe how much his life had suddenly changed for the better in just a couple of days. A week ago, he’d been convinced that he would never find any kind of happiness again, least of all love. Then he’d met Buffy. Well, technically he’d met Hannah first, and now everything was different.

There was just something about that little girl that had him captured from the moment he’d first met her. And as for her mother… Spike had loved Drusilla more than he’d thought was possible, but he still couldn’t remember ever feeling like this before. He had only known Buffy for a few days and yet, every time he saw her, he was ready to start reciting bloody poetry. What was that about? He hardly even knew the bird, how come he, whenever he was thinking about her, just couldn’t stop smiling?

Finding out the truth about Dru had abruptly killed all feelings he’d had for the beautiful, dark-haired woman. It was sort of a relief, but at the same time depressing. Sometimes he wondered if he wouldn’t have been better off not knowing, then he could have mourned Drusilla as the kind and loving woman he’d thought she was. It still would’ve hurt, of course, but at least then he wouldn’t have to deal with the shame and humiliation. The cheating was bad enough, but the fact that she’d known about her pregnancy, and simply decided that he didn’t even deserve to be told about it, made him question if she’d ever really felt anything about him at all.

He supposed that Dru hadn’t wanted any children, at least not with him. The realization hurt, a lot. He would’ve loved to become a father, he’d always wanted a big family. But now it didn’t look like he’d be getting that any time soon. An image of Hannah’s face, tearfully asking him if he wanted to be her new daddy suddenly flashed through his mind, and for some reason, that made him feel sad. He couldn’t help but wondering about her real father – Liam, and what a stupid git he had to be to chose not to be a part of his daughter’s life.

Buffy hadn’t said much about him, but at least she didn’t seem to have any deep feelings for the wanker. Spike wanted to know more, but didn’t want to overstep his rights by asking. He figured that if Buffy wanted him to know about it, she’d tell him eventually, and he could wait. Tonight would be their first real date, and he wasn’t about to ruin things by bringing up anything too personal. With that thought in mind, he grabbed his leather duster and opened the door, and found himself looking at the last person he’d wanted to see again.

“Heading somewhere?” The blonde woman eyed him curiously, clearly waiting for him to answer.

Spike closed his eyes and counted to ten. Why did that stupid bint have to show up now? Hell, why did she have to show up at all? “Darla? What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

She brought her hand up to her chest, pretending to be hurt. “Aw! One could almost think you’re not happy to see me.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Is that so?” Her eyes narrowed. “Going somewhere? Hot date, maybe?”

Glaring at her, Spike closed the door behind him. If she’d expected to be invited in, she’d be deeply disappointed. “Yeah, as of matter of fact, not that it’s any of your business. What do you want?”

She suddenly looked annoyed. “If you think for a second that I’d come here willingly, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

Spike shrugged. “Why are you here then?” He was beyond confused. Darla had hardly bothered speaking to him before, so what was she doing here?

Her eyes were cold when she looked at him. “Thought you might wanted to see this.” She pulled up an envelope from her purse and handed it to him.

Frowning, he took it. “What’s this?” She didn’t answer, so he opened it. Inside was a bunch of photographs, all of Drusilla. In every photo, she was with a different man, and he really didn’t want to know how Darla had gotten her hands on them. Realizing that she’d expected him to freak, Spike made an effort of acting like he wasn’t the least bit affected. “Why are you showing me these?” If it was just to hurt him, it wouldn’t surprise him the least, but Dru had been Darla’s best friend and something like this would definitely not make Drusilla come out in a good light.

If Darla was surprised by his reaction, she didn’t let it show. “Just thought you should know how much you really meant to her.”

Spike swallowed, refusing to let her words get to him. “Alright. You hate me, and I can assure you that the feeling’s quite mutual. So why don’t you just sod off?”

She laughed then, a bitter laugh. “It’s pathetic, really. How you kept falling for the lies she was feeding you. It was so obvious, but you refused to see it. Your relationship was nothing more than a joke to her, and you were the only one who didn’t see it for what it was.”

It hurt, but he wouldn’t let her see that. “Right. If that’s all you have to say…” He showed her aside, determined to get out of there with at least some dignity left.

But Darla wasn’t done. “What’s the hurry? Can’t take the fact that she didn’t care about you? What was so special about her, anyway?”

He was taken aback, staring at her in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Darla hesitated, before deciding to ignore his question. “Seriously, everybody acted like she was God’s gift to men. She wasn’t. Did you know that she used to laugh at how gullible you guys were? You, and everybody else who thought you really knew her. You were all wrong.”

Knowing that she was probably right, but refusing to admit it, Spike tried to walk past her, but Darla stopped him by getting in his way. He sighed. “What?”

She suddenly got a thoughtful expression on her face. “You weren’t the only one who was completely blinded by her, you know. Angel was just the same. It was all he could talk about sometimes; Drusilla this and Drusilla that.”

Spike snorted. “The ponce had a wife and a kid, and spent most nights at your place. Don’t tell me it surprised you to hear him moaning yet another chit’s name when he was shagging you. Bloody poof probably got the names mixed up all the time.” Spike paused for a second. “You know, if I didn’t know you any better…” Eying her suspiciously, he couldn’t help but smirk. “…I’d say you were jealous.”

Darla stared at him for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was trembling with fury. “Is that right? Well, you’re the expert of twisted relationships, aren’t you? Just tell me one thing, Spike. What makes you think that the child Drusilla was carrying was yours?”


TBC

After almost three hours of waiting, desperately, for the sound of the door bell, or the phone, Buffy had given up hope. She had sent Willow home, and a reluctant Hannah to bed, and now she was slumped back on the couch in the living room, feeling worse by the minute. She just didn’t get it; Spike had wanted to go out with her tonight, she knew it. So, why hadn’t he shown up? If he had changed his mind, shouldn’t he have called her to let her know? What if something had happened?

Hannah had refused to go to bed at first, claiming that she wanted to be there when Spike showed up. When Buffy had, carefully, mentioned that maybe he wasn’t coming, the girl had first been furious at her for even suggesting such a thing. But as the time went by, she finally seemed to accept the fact that her mother could be right, and went to bed without a word. The crushed look on her daughter’s face when she went upstairs almost broke Buffy’s heart.

And now she was siting here, alone, wondering what could have possibly happened to make Spike stand her up. If she’d had his phone number, she could’ve called him. But since she didn’t, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do, except for worrying and feeling sorry for herself. She had really been looking forward to tonight, and now she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d been this unhappy.

When the door bell finally did ring, she was startled by the shrill sound. Jumping up from the couch, she rushed to open the door. The relief she felt when she realized that Spike had finally showed up safely, quickly got replaced with anger when she smelled the waves of alcohol coming from him. “What the hell…?!”

“Buffy, ‘lo pet!” Spike took a step towards her, and managed to stumble on the threshold. He let out a drunken giggle, and noticed Buffy staring at him with her arms crossed over her chest. He frowned, obviously taken aback by her anger. “Wha’s wrong?” He glanced at his watch, and lowered his eyes. “S’pose m’a wee bit late.”

Snorting, Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “It’s ten thirty, Spike. You were supposed to have been here three hours ago.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. “At first I thought you were just running late. Then I started wondering if I’d been stood up. And then, when I still hadn’t heard anything, I was convinced that something had happened to you. But instead you were just too busy getting drunk?!”

He looked away, suddenly looking very ashamed. “Can explain…”

“Yeah? You know, I’m really not interested in any of your pathetic excuses.” Buffy was furious. “Why, Spike? I thought you wanted to go out tonight. Couldn’t you at least have picked up a damn phone and called me?!” He mumbled something, and her eyes narrowed. “What?”

Spike looked up, but still didn’t meet her eyes. “Didn’t give me your number.”

Buffy opened her mouth to object, but realized that he was right. “Oh.” Then she shook her head, as if to clear it. “Well, that’s not the point. I can’t believe you could do this to me, and to Hannah! Do you have any idea how disappointed she was when she realized that you weren’t coming?”

Swallowing, Spike looked away again. “M’sorry. I’ll just…” He let out a defeated sigh. “…m’out of here. Sorry.” He turned around to leave.

“Wait!” Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him. She was still upset, but a little voice inside her head told her not to let him go. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it; she just felt that something was wrong. Maybe it was the miserable look on his face, maybe it was just intuition, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she suddenly didn’t want him to leave. “Stay.” Seeing that he was hesitating, she hurried to add; “Please.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Here, drink this.” Buffy handed him a cup of coffee, then sat down next to him on the couch. “And when you’re done, I’d really like an explanation.”

Spike leaned back on the couch with a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he sipped on his coffee, grimacing. “Don’t like coffee.” Seeing the stern look Buffy gave him, he sighed again and drank some more. “Bloody disgusting s’what it is.” Then he realized that she might be offended, and hurried to mumble a ‘thank you’.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You don’t like coffee. But it’ll help you sober up a bit, hopefully.” He nodded, swallowing down the rest of the hot beverage, then putting the empty cup on the table. “Good. Now…” Buffy eyed him a little cautiously, before she went on. “…do you mind telling me what happened tonight?”

He shrugged, looking down at his hands. It was obvious that he really didn’t want to talk about it, but Buffy wasn’t about to let it go. “Spike?”

“Made a mistake, m’sorry.” He finally looked up, a pleading note in his voice. “Had nothing to do with you, I really wanted to see you again. You have to believe me.”

Buffy couldn’t help but to let out a small sigh of relief. “Okay, good to hear. You had me worried there for a second.” She frowned. “Or for a couple of hours.” He looked ashamed again, and she gave him a small smile. “Go on. I have a feeling you wouldn’t down half a liquor store just because you were nervous about our date. What happened?”

Spike was quiet for a moment, not sure of how to begin. He’d hardly told Buffy anything about his past, at least not about his relationship with Drusilla, and he had a feeling that for her to be able to understand his actions tonight, he would have to tell her. At least some parts of it, anyway. And having that conversation was definitely not something he looked forward to. Not because he didn’t feel like he could talk to Buffy, but it would be a lot for her to take in and he didn’t want to scare her away. Not to mention that it would take quite some time to tell her the whole story.

“Right.” He took a deep breath, his mind made up. “Got a couple of hours?”


TBC

“Right, um…” Spike hesitated for a moment. Suddenly he felt completely sober and, even though he knew that it was probably a good thing, it only made him more nervous about what he was about to tell Buffy. “Before I met you, I was involved with someone else. Her name was Drusilla.”

Buffy nodded. “I remember you mentioned something about an ex at dinner. Was it serious?” She blushed then, realizing that it might be a rude thing to ask, but Spike didn’t seem offended.

He just shrugged. “Could say that. We were engaged.”

Eyes widening, Buffy tried to force a smile. “Sounds kinda serious to me.” She didn’t understand why she suddenly felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. Spike had said that they were engaged, he wasn’t involved with that woman anymore. But the realization that there had been someone else, someone who he probably had been very much in love with, someone that wasn’t her, made her feel incredibly jealous.

“Wasn’t.” She frowned, and Spike shrugged again. “Least not from her point of view.”

Buffy was confused. “But if you were engaged…?”

“Yeah, well…” Spike sighed, suddenly feeling stupid. “She was reluctant from the beginning. Said that marriage was just a pathetic attempt of showing off your happiness to the rest of the world, that we didn’t need to be married to prove how we felt about each other, stuff like that.”

“O-kay…” Buffy already hated the other woman. “But I assume she changed her mind?”

Spike nodded. “I thought she was just afraid of making such a serious commitment, that she just needed some time to get used to the idea.” He paused for a moment. “Suppose I pushed the matter, but I just really wanted to marry her.” He looked away, embarrassed. “You don’t wanna hear that. Sorry.”

She really didn’t, but for some reason she couldn’t tell him that. “No, it’s okay, I understand. You loved her.” Buffy took a deep breath before she went on. “But you don’t feel that way about her now? I mean, then you would still be with her. Right?”

He let out a bitter laugh. “No, I don’t love her anymore. And even if I did, I couldn’t be with her. She’s dead.”

Buffy stared at him in shock. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, I…” She stopped, not knowing what to say.

Spike went on, like he hadn’t heard her. “I finally bought her a ring and proposed for real, and she said yes. The next day she left to go to work, and didn’t come back. She got hit by a drunk-driver, or at least that’s what the cops think, they never caught the person who did it.”

Swallowing hard, Buffy suddenly felt like she was going to be sick. “That’s… just awful.” She reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay.” She opened her mouth to object, but he raised his hand to stop her. “Let me just finish, yeah? There’s more.”

More than this? Buffy wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it, but of course she didn’t say that. She just nodded for him to go on.

Spike had decided to tell Buffy everything, but suddenly he hesitated. He knew that he’d done nothing wrong, but he just felt so bloody stupid. He knew now that Dru had never even been close to feeling the same way about him, and he should have realized that from the beginning. Darla was right, he had been blinded by Drusilla, and he hated himself for it. He should have seen the signs, because they had been there all along. The way she hadn’t wanted to get married in the first place, for one thing. But he’d been convinced that he could get her to change her mind, and when she’d finally accepted his proposal, he’d thought that he’d succeeded. Now he realized that she had probably only accepted to get him to stop bringing it up. After all, they had never set a date for the wedding, and he had a feeling that if he’d suggested anything, she would’ve kept stalling.

Then there was the baby. From the moment the doctor had confirmed Drusilla’s pregnancy, all he could think about was that he would have been a father. He had never, even for a moment, considered the fact that it wasn’t just possible, but even likely, that the baby would’ve belonged to someone else. And that was another reason why he felt so stupid. He had known, not for long but still, that Drusilla had been cheating on him. That was probably why she hadn’t told him about her condition, because she had suspected that it wasn’t his. And the fact that it had been that bitch, Darla, who had opened his eyes, didn’t exactly make him feel better. That was why he’d gotten so drunk tonight, because he couldn’t deal with the shame and humiliation. But how would he be able to explain that to Buffy?

He snapped out of his thoughts, realizing that Buffy was waiting for him to go on. Suddenly, he felt the urge to just get up and run. He’d thought that he was ready to talk to her, but now he wasn’t so sure at all. But he feared that if he wouldn’t explain why he’d done what he did tonight, that would be it between them. It would be over before it had even started, and he didn’t want that. The mere thought of not seeing Buffy, or Hannah again was almost too painful for him to handle.

So he took a deep breath, and started telling Buffy everything; how he’d found out later that Drusilla had been seeing others, and how Darla had told him about the pregnancy. He finished by telling her about Darla’s surprise visit earlier. All the time while he’d been talking, Buffy had listened without a word, and he realized that he was terrified of her reaction. Would she decide that it was all too much for her, that she didn’t want to have to deal with his messed up past? He knew he didn’t want to, so why should she?

But eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore; he needed to know what she was thinking. Afraid of her rejection, he didn’t dare look her in the eyes. “Buffy? Say something.”


TBC

Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again, feeling like her head was spinning. She could tell that Spike was waiting, desperately for her to say something, anything, but she just didn’t know what it was he wanted to hear. That she was sorry for what he’d been through? That went without saying. He had yet to look at her, and she suddenly realized that he was afraid of her reaction. But she couldn’t understand why. A part of her wanted to take him into her arms and tell him that everything would be okay, but she hesitated, not sure of how he’d react to such an intimate act.

She swallowed. “Spike? Look at me?” He reluctantly obeyed. “This is going to sound terrible, but I’d say you’re probably better off without her.” He frowned, and she hurriedly went on. “I mean, what happened was awful, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss, but…” She stopped, groaning with frustration. “God, how lame is that?! I don’t know what to say, I’m so bad at this!”

“No.” Spike shook his head. “You’re right, but I kinda wish that she hadn’t…” He shrugged. “I wish she’d just dumped me, she didn’t have to die. I know now that she wasn’t the person I thought she was, but I really did love her for a while. Losing her like that, it just…” He swallowed. “It hurts.”

“Of course it does.” Buffy felt like crying. She so didn’t want to hear about this, about how much Spike had loved that heartless woman, who so clearly had loved no one but herself. She was glad, not to mention relieved, that Drusilla was dead, and therefore no threat to her. And that made her feel really guilty. She knew she was a horrible person for thinking like that, but she just couldn’t help herself. She realized that she was falling for Spike, and now she feared that he had yet to come over Drusilla. At the same time, she was angry at herself for making this about her, in the first place. Spike needed her support now, not her selfish jealousy.

Spike misread her silence. “Shouldn’t have told you this, s’too much for you to take in.” He sighed. “If you want, I can leave.”

“No!” Buffy grabbed his hand in desperation; as if she was afraid he’d just jump off the couch and run. She gave him a pleading look. “Please, don’t go.” Then she looked down at her hand, still clinging to his, and blinked away some tears. “I mean, if you want to leave… you shouldn’t feel like you have to stay, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Spike raised his free hand to gently caress her cheek. “So, you’re saying you don’t want me to go?” She stared into his eyes like hypnotized, shaking her head, and he let out the breath he’d been holding. “Thank God!” Buffy gave him a shaky smile, leaning into his touch, and he pulled her into his arms, hugging her hard.

She hugged him back, and for a couple of minutes they just sat like that. Then, Buffy finally pulled back. “I really am sorry.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” Spike rolled his eyes. “We were supposed to go out tonight, having a good time, and I ruined it.” He looked at her then, a hopeful look on his face. “Think I could take you out some other night instead? I promise I’ll show up on time.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “I think that could be arranged.”

He looked relieved, then had to suppress a yawn. “Sorry, guess I'm a bit knackered. Think I probably should go after all. Don't think I'd be much of a company if I'll fall asleep.”

Buffy’s smile disappeared. She realized that he was tired, and so was she. But still, she didn’t want him to go. “Or, you could always stay here.” Seeing that he was about to object, she hurried to add; “On the couch!” She blushed. “I mean, it’s getting late, and you’re really tired. You shouldn’t have to walk all the way back to your place tonight. And besides…” Her smile was back. “I know someone who would really like to see you here in the morning.” Then she frowned. “Other than me, that is.”

Spike chuckled. “So, bit’s not too upset with me then?”

Snorting, Buffy got up from the couch. “I didn’t say that. You’ll probably have to bribe her with another bedtime story to get her to forgive you. Or six.”

Getting up as well, Spike groaned. “Thought she was going to be the death of me with all her questions and interruptions last time. Can’t I just buy her a rhino instead?”

Buffy laughed. “Sure. But it’s staying at your place.”

He gave her an innocent look. “Can’t. Don’t have a bath tub.”

Rolling her eyes, Buffy couldn’t help but giggle. “Go to sleep.”

“You’re sure about wanting me to stay then?” Spike looked at her for confirmation. “Don’t mind going back to my place.”

“I’d mind. You’re staying, and that’s it.” Buffy gave him a firm look, and he chuckled again.

“Bossy bint.”

“Yup, that’s me, whatever that is. Goodnight.” Buffy smiled sweetly, then turned around to leave the room, but Spike grabbed her arm to stop her. She looked at him in confusion. “What?”

He suddenly became serious. “I really wanted to go out with you tonight, Buffy. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I feel…” He hesitated. “…something. I don’t know if it’s just me, or…”

Buffy interrupted him, gently putting her hand on his arm. “It’s not. Just you, I mean. I feel it, too. It’s weird, though. I mean, it’s like you said, we hardly know each other. But maybe…” She stopped, not sure of what she was going to say.

“Maybe it doesn’t matter?” Their eyes met, and suddenly Buffy felt like nothing else existed in the world, but the two of them.

“What doesn’t matter?” She felt dizzy, and wondered if Spike felt the same way. For some reason, she thought he did.

“My point exactly.” Spike looked her deep in the eyes, desperately searching for some sign that he was out of line, that he should step back. Finding nothing, he leaned over and kissed her, softly. When she didn’t pull away, like he’d feared for a second, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Like in slow motion, he could feel Buffy’s arms moving over his back until they finally came up to encircle his neck, as she hungrily returned the kiss.



TBC

Spike was vaguely aware of someone shaking him and calling his name, but stubbornly tried to ignore it. He was still half asleep, and wasn’t about to open his eyes if he didn’t have to, his head was throbbing enough as it was. Grunting, he rolled over on his side, and pulled the blanket Buffy had given him over his head. The shaking stopped, much to his relief, and he tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, someone else had other ideas.

Hannah pouted, but wasn’t about to give up. The first thing she’d spotted when she’d gotten downstairs this morning was Spike, asleep on the couch, and she wondered if her mom knew that he had shown up last night after all. She’d tried to wake him up, but he had just turned away from her and continued to sleep. Of course, she wouldn’t let him. If she would have to get up this early, so would he! She pulled the blanket away, cupped her hand around his ear, and yelled at the top of her lungs; “SPIKE!”

“Bloody hell!” Spike jumped up from the couch in panic, then noticed the little girl standing in front of him, a pleased expression on her face. He groaned. “Hannah! Why did you have to do that?”

The girl shrugged. “I was calling, but you didn’t hear me. It’s morning, you have to get up. Mommy says school starts in an hour.”

Spike sighed, leaning back down on the couch. “I don’t go to school.”

Hannah giggled. “I know that, silly! But it’s not fair that you get to sleep and I have to get up.”

Rolling his eyes, Spike sat up again. “I suppose you have a point there. But…”

“Mommy’s coming!” Hannah rushed over to greet Buffy, who’d just made her way downstairs. “Mommy! Mommy! Did you know Spike was here?”

Buffy looked from her daughter to Spike, an amused expression on her face. She smiled at the girl. “Yes, sweetie, Mommy knew that Spike was here. He came here last night, after you’d gone to sleep. We were… talking and it got kinda late, so we decided that he should stay here for the night.” She turned to Spike, looking at him for confirmation. “Right?” He nodded, still looking a bit shaken from the unwanted awakening.

A wide smile spread on the girl’s face. “See, Mommy, I told you Spike was coming! Are you guys in love now?” She was practically bouncing up and down, waiting for the answer.

Spike’s eyes widened comically, and Buffy blushed. “Hannah!” She realized that her voice was a little too shrill for her liking, and cleared her throat. “Why don’t you go to the kitchen and start setting the table? I’ll be right there, starting with the breakfast.”

Hannah’s smile disappeared. “I’m not hungry.”

Buffy gave her a firm look. “You have to eat something before school.” She looked at her watch, and sighed. “And we’re already late. Come on, honey, we have to hurry!”

But Hannah gave her a stubborn look. “I don’t wanna go!”

“Hannah…” Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, not wanting to start the morning with a fight. “You know you have to…”

“But I don’t feel very good, Mommy. I think I have a fever. And my stomach hurts.” Hannah pouted, trying her best to look as miserable as possible, but Buffy didn’t buy it.

“Forget it, Hannah, you’re going. I let you stay home the other day when we went to the zoo, remember? Besides, I have to go to work. Come on, off to the kitchen!”

Instead, Hannah turned to Spike, a pleading look on her face. “Can’t I stay with you today? Please? I’ll be ever so good!”

Spike opened his mouth to speak, but Buffy beat him to it. “No, Hannah. You’re going to school, and that’s it.”

“But why?!” Hannah stomped her foot, angrily. “He doesn’t have to work, why can’t I stay with him?”

“Hannah, that’s enough!” Buffy immediately regretted yelling at her daughter, and took a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was strained, but at least a bit calmer. “Not today, sweetie.”

“But I don’t want to go to school! The other kids are mean to me and I hate it there! And I hate you, too!” With that, Hannah burst into tears and ran back upstairs, leaving Buffy to stare after her in shock.

“She didn’t mean it, you know that, right?” Spike gave Buffy a look he hoped would be convincing, and pulled her into his arms. She sighed, snuggling closer into his embrace.

“Maybe not.” She pulled back a little, so she could look at him. “But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s very upset with me right now.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I just don’t know what to do, Spike. She really doesn’t want to go to school, but she has to, right?” Spike was about to say something, but she went on; “Or maybe I should just let her stay home. I mean, I know how it’s gonna be, she knows it, and I know it. Sometimes I wish I could just go to school with her and make those little brats leave her alone.”

“I know.” Spike placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “But even if you’d let her stay home today, it won’t change anything. I mean, face it luv, you can’t protect her forever.”

“Why not?” Buffy glared at him for a moment, then lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry, I know you’re right. But it just kills me inside to see my baby getting hurt.”

“I understand, pet, I really do. But…” Spike stopped for a second, unsure of how to go on. “Don’t you rather wish she could just stand up for herself? Not letting those bloody kids get to her?”

Buffy let out a bitter laugh. “Of course I’d rather want that, but that’s not gonna happen. Hannah’s way too shy to ever talk back to anyone.” She frowned. “Anyone but me, that is.”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sorry, luv, but I just don’t get it. I know I’ve only known her for a couple of days, but ‘shy’ would be the last word I’d use to describe her.”

Rolling her eyes, Buffy smiled a little. “I know, I don’t get it either. I’ve never seen her act so comfortable with someone she hardly knows before.”

“Yeah?” Spike got a warm feeling inside, touched by Buffy’s words. “Never?”

She had to smile when she saw how proud he looked. “Nope, but don’t let it get to your head.” Then she became serious. “I should go talk to her.”

“Can I…?” Spike hesitated. “Do you mind if I'd try talking to her?” Seeing the surprised look on her face, he suddenly felt stupid for asking. “Never mind, it was a bad idea. I’m sorry. This is between you and her, I shouldn’t....”

“No, that’s…” Buffy sighed. “It’s just that I feel bad as it is for putting you in the middle of this. I mean, last night was…” She blushed. “It was really nice. And thanks by the way, for not minding sleeping on the couch. I mean, if Hannah had woken up in the middle of the night and found the two of us in bed together… I just wanna be able to sit down and explain things to her first, I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

“Not that I didn’t want…” Buffy looked down at her feet, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I really wanted you to sleep in my bed instead, but…”

Spike leaned over and kissed her, and she closed her eyes with a soft moan. When he pulled back she pouted, and he had to resist the urge to start nibbling on her bottom lip. Instead, he gave her a sexy grin. “Liked that, did you? Kitten wants to play?”

Buffy smiled, trying very hard not to jump him right there. “She does, but she can’t.” She giggled at the disappointed look on his face. “Hannah.”

“Oh, right.”

She gave him a thoughtful look. “You really wanna go talk to her?”

Spike nodded. “Sure. If that’s okay with you, that is.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” He nodded again and started towards the stairs. “Wait!”

He stopped, frowning. “What?”

Hurrying over to him, Buffy wrapped her arms around him and stole one more, long kiss. Finally she let him go, smiling sweetly. “Okay, you can go now.”


TBC

Spike knocked softly on the door to Hannah’s bedroom before peeking inside. “Hey, niblet. Mind if I come in?” He could see the girl siting on the bed, sulking.

Hannah gave him a suspicious look. “Are you gonna yell at me and tell me I was bad?”

Spike shook his head. “No.”

“All right then. You can come in, but not Mommy. I’m very mad at her!” She glared at him, daring him to object.

He tried not to chuckle; the kid could obviously be quite stubborn and he didn’t doubt for a second that she’d gotten that from her mother. Spike nodded, putting a serious expression on his face. “I see. That because she told you that you have to go to school?” She nodded. “Right.” He paused for a moment, then entered the room and sat down on the bed next to her. “You know, when I was a kid, I used to hate going to school.”

“You did?” Hannah looked at him with wide eyes. “Were the other kids mean to you, too?”

“No.” Spike decided it was probably best not to tell her that if anyone would’ve dared being mean to him, he would have just kicked their ass. “Never liked them, though. Thought they were just a bunch of nancy-boys.”

Hannah looked confused. “What’s that? Is it bad?” Spike opened his mouth to answer, but she went on; “Is it like being a geek?”

Spike hesitated for a second. “Something like that.”

The girl nodded in understanding. “Kathy says I’m a geek.”

“Yeah? Well, Kathy’s wrong!” That came out a bit harsher than he’d intended. “Look, bit, I’m really sorry they pick on you. Have you ever tried telling them to stop?” She just stared at him, and he sighed. “Take that as a no, then. How long has this been going on?”

Hannah just shrugged. “Do you know what else Kathy says?” He shook his head. “That my real Daddy didn’t want Mommy and me because we’re losers.”

He snorted, feeling anger welling up inside. “That’s bollocks! What does she know about that?!”

“Why else would he be with them instead of us?” His confusion must have shown, because she went on explaining; “Kathy’s dad is my real dad, too. I see him in school sometimes when he picks up Kathy, but he never talks to me. It doesn’t feel like he’s my dad, I don’t even know him.”

Spike stared at the girl in bewilderment. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, having no idea what to say. Finally he managed to speak. “Who told you this? Your mum?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Kathy was teasing me. She told me she knew why he wasn’t living with us, because he’s living with them. I asked Mommy if it was true, and she said it was.”

Suddenly Spike felt like he’d gotten a little too much information. He’d wanted to know more about Liam, but this sounded way too personal. Maybe Buffy wouldn’t want him to know about it, at least not yet. As if Hannah had been reading his mind, she quickly changed the subject. “Is Mommy angry?”

He finally snapped out of it. “No, of course not. Think she might be a bit sad, though. You know she loves you and only wants what’s best for you, right?”

Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “Then she shouldn’t make me go to school.”

“You want to just stay home forever?” She nodded, firmly. “Right. Just gonna let the other kids win, then?”

She looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I…” Spike hesitated. He was going to give her a big speech about the importance of standing up for yourself, but realized that it would be a hell of a lot to ask from a little kid. The girl didn’t care about self respect, she just wanted to be left alone, and he couldn’t really blame her. Suddenly, he had no idea what to say to her.

Hannah lowered her eyes to the bed. “It doesn’t really matter what I want, does it? I still have to go.”

He wanted, so desperately, to tell her otherwise, that she never would have to go back to school again. But, of course, he couldn’t. “I’m afraid so.” The miserable look on her face almost broke his heart. He was almost relieved when he looked up and saw Buffy standing at the door.

She gave him a small smile before looking at her daughter. “Are you okay, sweetie?” The girl nodded, after a moment’s hesitation. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, again.”

Hannah didn’t answer at first. Then she finally looked at her mother. “I’m sorry I said I hated you.”

Buffy smiled at her. “That’s okay, honey.” She took a deep breath. “Hannah, it’s getting really late…”

Sighing, Hannah got up from the bed. “I know. We have to go.” She grabbed her pink school bag from the floor, and left the room without another word.

Buffy made an attempt of following, but Spike stopped her. “Buffy, wait. There’s something you should know.”

She gave him a worried look. “Uh-oh, that sounds bad. What is it?”

“Well…um…” He got up from the bed, slowly, not exactly sure of what to tell her. “It’s just that… well Hannah told me some things. About her father.”

“Oh.” Buffy looked down at her feet. “Can we not do this now? Please? I have to take Hannah to school, and then I have to go to work.”

“Of course.” Spike silently cursed himself for mentioning Hannah’s father. “I understand. I’ll just get out of here, then.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business, but I wasn’t the one who brought it up. I just thought you should know what she told me, is all.”

“Spike, it’s okay.” Buffy walked over to him and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I don’t mind talking about it, but now is really not a good time. How ‘bout we’ll meet up later for lunch, then we can talk?”

Relieved that she wasn’t upset with him, Spike nodded. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Buffy smiled, then an idea just hit her. “Do you have some place you have to be right now?” He shook his head, wondering what was going through her mind. “In that case, would you like to come with me when I drop Hannah off at school? I’ll give you a ride home afterwords if you want.”

Happy for getting to spend some more time with both her and Hannah, not to mention touched that Buffy wanted him to go with her; Spike accepted her offer without hesitation. “All right.” He was rewarded with a bright smile, and another kiss. When she pulled back, he tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m gonna talk to Hannah tonight. About us.”

He swallowed, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. “What are you gonna tell her?”

Giggling nervously, Buffy took a step back. “That’s the thing, I don’t know.” She hesitated. “We have something here, right? Something… good?”

Spike let out the breath he’d been holding. “Yeah, pet. We do.”

“Good!” She blushed, then remembered where they were, and that they were already late. “We better go.”

“Right. Because we don’t wanna…” Their eyes met. “be…” Spike took a step towards her. “…late.” He pulled her into his arms, and when he finally kissed her, almost fiercely, the world around them ceased to exist.


TBC

“All right, sweetie. Mommy has to work late tonight, so Willow’s picking you up this afternoon. That okay?” The girl nodded, and Buffy placed a kiss on her forehead. “That’s my girl!” They had just arrived to Hannah’s classroom at the Sunnydale Elementary School, and Buffy and Spike were about to leave.

Hannah looked at Spike, a hopeful expression on her face. “Are you coming over to our house again tonight?”

Remembering what Buffy had told him before they’d left, about wanting to explain their relationship to Hannah, Spike shook his head. “Sorry, bit, not tonight.” Seeing how she was about to object, he hurried to add; “Might drop by tomorrow night instead. That is, if your mum won’t mind.” He glanced over at Buffy, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Of course I won’t mind, you know that.”

“Good!” Hannah smiled brightly. “Then you can read me another bedtime story. And I wanna show you all of my stuffed animals, you didn’t get to see them the last time. And I have lots of dolls, you have to see them, too. We’re gonna have so much fun!” Her eyes lit up as an idea hit her. “We can have a tea party!”

Buffy tried hard not to giggle at the look on Spike’s face, for a moment he looked completely horrified. He looked at her for help, but she just shrugged, a wide grin on her face. Spike cleared his throat. “Um… yeah, sure. Sounds… great.” Hannah beamed at him.

“Good morning, Hannah.” A young woman with long, brown hair made her way over to them, smiling softly at the girl.

Hannah returned the smile. “Good morning, Miss Burkle.” Then she looked at her mother and Spike, waving her hand goodbye. “Bye, Mommy, see you tonight. Bye, Spike.” With that, she turned around and headed in the direction of the other kids, waiting for the class to begin.

Miss Burkle looked after the girl, then turned to Buffy. “Miss Summers, I wanted to apologize for that unfortunate incident the other day. You know, with Hannah wandering off and all. I feel really bad about what happened. I mean, I’m responsible for the children while they’re here, I should’ve seen that something was bothering her.”

“Yeah, I think you should have.” Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but Spike wasn’t finished. “How can you let a little girl just disappear like that, aren’t you supposed to be watching them? It’s your bloody job, after all.”

Blushing, Miss Burkle seemed to notice him for the first time. “I… I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve been introduced?” She gave Buffy an uncertain look, then turned her eyes back to Spike.

Buffy suddenly found herself more than a little annoyed. She’d always liked Hannah’s teacher, but she definitely didn’t like the way the other woman was now looking at Spike. Was she checking him out?! Buffy had to suppress a possessive growl, then felt very stupid for thinking like that. She forced a smile. “This is my friend, Spike Pratt.” She turned to Spike. “And this is…”

Before she had the chance to finish, Miss Burkle reached out her hand in greeting, her eyes never leaving Spike. “I’m Winifred Burkle, but most people call me Fred.” She paused, giggling nervously. “Unless they’re in my class, then they call me Miss Burkle.“ Buffy rolled her eyes, having not missed how she’d emphasized the ‘Miss’ part.

Spike shook her hand, after a moment’s hesitation. “Right, nice to meet you. Sorry if I was a bit rude before.”

Fred giggled again. “No, it’s okay. You were right.” Then she suddenly became serious and turned back to Buffy, lowering her voice. “Miss Summers, I’m worried about Hannah. I’d like us to set an appointment when the two of us can get together and talk. Would this thursday be okay with you?”

Buffy frowned. This was the first time the teacher had indicated that something might be wrong. She nodded, eying the woman a bit warily. “I guess so. Sure.”

“Good.” Fred looked relieved. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve better get this class started.” She looked at Spike again, and her smile was back. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr Pratt.”

Spike waved his hand in dismiss. “Just call me…”

“Bye, Miss Burkle. – Spike, let’s go!” Buffy grabbed his arm and started towards the door, completely missing the amused look on his face.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Mind telling me what that was about, luv?” They had left the school building and were now standing outside Buffy’s car. Spike looked at her, waiting for her to answer.

She shrugged, refusing to look him in the eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right.” He gave her a curious look. “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.”

Snorting, Buffy stared at him with, what she hoped looked like disbelief. “Jealous?! Me? That’s ridiculous!” She looked down at her feet. “I just… didn’t like the way she was looking at you, that’s all.”

He did his best to not let his amusement show. “And how was that?”

“Like you were a piece of meat and she couldn’t wait to devour you, that’s how!” Buffy’s eyes widened when she realized what she’d said, and her face turned bright red. “God, I can’t believe I just said that.”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle at the horrified expression on her face. Then he pulled her close, kissing her passionately. She seemed to be taken by surprise, but returned the kiss, almost possessively. Finally she pulled back, panting. “Okay, not that I’m complaining here, but what was that about?”

He gave her a smile that made her knees go weak. “Just wanted you to know that you’re the only one for me.”

Oh God! She was melting. She would turn into a puddle of goo, right here in the parking lot. Swallowing hard, Buffy tried to force her mouth to form words, but nothing came out, except for a low, moaning sound which she found beyond embarrassing. Finally, after what seemed like hours but couldn’t have been more than a minute, she managed to blurt out; “Really?”

He looked her deep in the eyes, and for a moment, she was convinced that she would pass out. “Really.”


TBC

Buffy slammed the door shut behind her, angrily throwing her jacket on a nearby chair. Not only had she been forced to work overtime, again; her boss had given her so much to do that she hadn’t even had time to meet up with Spike for lunch. And now she was furious. As a single parent she really needed her job, as an assistant to the principal at the local high school, but days like these, she just wanted to tell Principal Snyder to take his papers and stick them somewhere.

“Mommy! You’re home!” Hannah came rushing down the stairs and threw her arms around her waist, a smiling Willow following.

“Hi, sweetie!” Buffy knelt down on the floor and gave her daughter a big hug, already feeling a little better. “How was school today?”

Hannah shrugged. “Was okay.” She didn’t say more, and Buffy decided to leave it there.

She got up, then turning to Willow. “Thank you for picking her up, again. I hope she hasn’t been too much of a trouble.” She said the last part while looking at Hannah and winking at her, knowing that the girl never caused Willow any problems.

Willow laughed. “Of course not. We’ve had a great time today, haven’t we, Hannah?” Hannah nodded, a wide smile on her face. She’d always loved Willow, the red-head was like the aunt she’d never had.

Buffy slumped down on the couch, groaning. Hannah immediately climbed up on her lap. “God, I can’t believe how tired I am.” She looked at her daughter. “Would you be very disappointed if we’d skip making dinner and just order some take-out?” Holding her breath, she waited for the reaction.

“Yaay! Take-out! I want Chinese; can we have Chinese, Mommy? Please, please, please!” Hannah jumped off her mother’s lap and started bouncing up and down.

Buffy and Willow couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s enthusiasm. Buffy looked at her best friend. “You wanna stay for dinner? It’s on me.”

Willow shook her head. “I’d love to, but I can’t.” She paused. “I kinda have a date tonight.”

Raising her eyebrows, Buffy grinned. “Really?! Who’s the lucky girl?”

Rolling her eyes, Willow giggled. “Very funny. You know I’m a one-woman girl.”

Buffy let out a whistle. “Tara again? Third night in a row now, is it?” Willow blushed. “It’s getting serious between the two of you, isn’t it?”

Smiling dreamily, Willow nodded. “I hope so. I really like her, Buffy.”

“I’m so happy for you, Will. You deserve some happiness after that disaster with Oz.” Buffy remembered how crushed Willow had been after finding her ex boyfriend in bed with another woman. After a couple of months of constant whining and self-pity, Willow had started dating women, and after getting used to the idea, Buffy realized that she’d never seen her friend happier.

Hannah spoke up then, turning to Willow; “You know who Mommy really likes? Spike!”

“Is that so?” Willow put on a serious expression on her face. Hannah nodded. “And do you like Spike?”

The girl nodded again, eagerly. “Yeah, he’s very nice. He calls me funny names, and we’re gonna have a tea party!”

Buffy burst out laughing. “Yeah, I can’t wait to see that.”

“So, Buffy? When do I get to meet this mysterious man of yours? I assume you have forgiven him for standing you up the other night.” Willow turned to Buffy, an expectant look on her face.

Before Buffy got the chance to answer, she was interrupted by Hannah. “Spike didn’t stand her up, he was just late. He and Mommy talked and then he spent the night here.”

Blushing, Buffy hid her face in her hands, and Willow giggled. “Really?”

“On the couch! He slept on the couch!” Buffy glared at her friend, who pretended to zip her lips closed while trying to hide her amusement.

“Okay! It’s been fun, but now I really have to go.” Willow grabbed her purple sweater and gave Hannah a hug. “Bye, sweetie. See you on Wednesday.” Hannah happily returned the hug. “Bye, Buffy! I’ll call you tomorrow, then I wanna hear everything.” With that, Willow waved her hand goodbye and left, closing the door behind her.

Hannah gave her mother a hopeful look. “Can we order Chinese now?”

Buffy smiled at her. “In a while, honey. I just wanna talk to you about something first.”

The girl got a suspicious look on her face. “About school? I told you it was okay.”

“No, not about school.” Buffy suddenly felt nervous, although she couldn’t understand why. “It’s about Spike.”

“Oh.” Hannah’s face lit up, happy that she wouldn’t have to talk about school. She sat down on the couch again. “What about him?”

“Well…” Buffy hesitated, not sure of how to begin. “You like Spike, don’t you?”

“Yeah!” Hannah nodded, smiling. Then, just as quickly, her smile disappeared and she looked worried. “Don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.” Buffy had to smile at the relieved look on the girl’s face. “I like him a lot.”

“Do you love him?” Hannah looked at her with her big, brown eyes.

Buffy started giggling nervously. “Hannah! That’s way too soon to say!”

Nodding again, Hannah looked thoughtful for a moment. “That’s what Spike said, too.”

“Well, he’s right. You have to really know someone before you can even think about love.” Buffy paused. “And that’s what I want to talk to you about. Spike and I might be spending a lot of time together from now on, that is if everything turns out the way we hope. You’ll get to be around a lot, but sometimes Spike and I are gonna want to spend some time together, just the two of us. Are you going to be okay with that?” She held her breath.

Hannah frowned. “What are you gonna do when it’s just the two of you?”

“Um…” Buffy desperately tried to come up with a proper answer. “Grown-up stuff!” She cringed at how shrill her voice sounded, but Hannah didn’t seem to notice.

“Okay, I don’t mind. Grown-up stuff’s boring, anyway.” The girl shuddered.

Buffy let out the breath she’d been holding. Then she realized that Hannah seemed to be thinking hard about something. “What is it, baby? What are you thinking?”

The girl was quiet for a moment. Then she looked down at her knees. “Is Spike staying, or is he going away some day, like my real daddy?”


TBC

Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again. She’d been about to tell her daughter that she didn’t have to worry; of course Spike would stay. But then she hesitated, not sure if she had the right to make such a promise. She already liked Spike, a lot, and she didn’t doubt for a second that her feelings for him would only grow stronger the more they got to know each other. And she was convinced that he felt the same way about her. But still, you could never really know these things, right? What if they would get involved for real, and then some day, maybe two years from now, maybe next week, they would realize that it wouldn’t work, that they weren’t meant to be after all?

Then it was more than possible that Spike would leave, that he no longer would be a part of her, and Hannah’s life. And that would break the little girl’s heart. Buffy wasn’t about to fool herself; her heart would be broken as well. But she was an adult; she knew that sometimes relationships didn’t work out. Hell, she’d learned that the hard way. But it was different with Hannah.

Her daughter hadn’t even been born when Liam had left them, she’d never gotten the chance to get to know him, and therefore she’d never gotten attached to him. All she knew about her biological father was that he’d left, and that he’d never really cared about any of them. Buffy wished, so badly, that Hannah never would have found out the truth about him. But, of course, things hadn’t turned out the way she’d planned. When Hannah had come home from school one day, asking her if it was true that her real father had another family, another daughter, it had taken Buffy every ounce of self control not to run straight over to Liam’s house and rip his throat out. His and his bitch for a wife.

Although Buffy hated Liam’s daughter for what she was putting Hannah through every day in school, she knew she couldn’t really blame Kathy for spilling the secret. After all, she was only a kid. A spoiled brat and a bully, but still, just a kid. It was her parents; Liam and Cordelia, who had told her. Buffy couldn’t for her life understand why anyone would tell a kid something like that. But they had, and now Hannah was paying the price. Before she’d started school, Hannah had been happily oblivious of the past history of her parents, but when little Kathy O’Connor had entered her life, everything had changed.

Buffy realized now that she’d made a mistake when she’d given Hannah Liam’s surname, but back then she’d wanted the world to know that the baby was his, that the bastard had a kid he couldn’t care less about. But her plan had backfired; resulting in Hannah being teased by the other kids since the first day in school. And now – a couple of months later, she realized that it wouldn’t stop, and forcing the girl to have the same name as her worst tormentor was just cruel. So, she’d decided to change Hannah’s last name from O’Connor to her name – Summers, but she feared that it wouldn’t really change anything.

Now she wanted nothing more than to talk to Spike before answering her daughter’s question, desperate to hear his opinion on the matter, but of course she couldn’t. So, she took a deep breath, knowing that Hannah was waiting for her to answer. “Spike’s nothing like your father, sweetie. You know he cares about you.” Hannah nodded, after a moments hesitation, and Buffy went on; “But I can’t promise you that we’ll all live happily ever after, because… well, because you can never really know what’s going to happen. You know that.”

Hannah nodded again, smiling a little. “Spike said that he’ll always be my friend, even if he won’t marry you.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “He… he said that? When?”

“At the snake-house.” Hannah looked at her mother, a serious expression on her face. “He said that people can’t get married until they’re in love, and that when you really love someone you just feel it. But he didn’t say what it feels like.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe he doesn’t know. What do you think, Mommy?”

“Um… I…” Buffy shook her head as if to clear it, feeling slightly dizzy, but forced herself to focus on her daughter. “I don’t know, sweetie.”

“But you guys are dating now, right? So, you could fall in love and get married?” The hopeful look on Hannah’s face made Buffy smile, despite the confusing thoughts that kept rushing through her head.

“I’m not saying it could never happen. But…”

“Yaay!” Hannah started bouncing up and down on the couch.

“Hannah…” Buffy sighed, not wanting the girl to get her hopes up and then be disappointed later if things didn’t work out between them. But then, she figured that she would just have to deal with that when, or if, that day came. She was happy right now, happier than she’d been in a long time. And obviously, so was Hannah. All she could do was pray that it would last, for both of their sakes. God knew they could need some happiness in their lives. And, she thought, so could Spike. Just thinking of him now brought a big smile to her face, and suddenly she realized that she couldn’t wait to see him again. She decided to put all her worries aside and, for once, just live for the moment. “What do you say we call Spike and go out for ice-cream?”

The huge smile on her daughter’s face told her that she’d made the right decision. “Yeah! Please, Mommy, call him! Call him now!”

The girl’s enthusiasm was contagious, and it didn’t take long before Buffy was just as excited. “Okay! Wait! Why don’t we just go over there and surprise him? That would be fun, right?” Hannah giggled, nodding eagerly. “Great, then it’s settled. Come on, let’s go, I’ll race you to the car!”


TBC

Spike was half lying on the couch in front of the telly, when there was a knock on the door. He got up with a sigh, and went to open it. Truth be told, he was happy for the interruption; he was beyond bored. But when he saw who it was, he really wished he’d just ignored it and stayed on the couch.

“Hey, man, guess who’s just been promoted?” Lindsey McDonald was grinning widely as he walked past Spike and entered the apartment. Spike remained in the doorway, staring after his former friend. Hell, who was he kidding, they had never really been friends. They had been working together, as journalists at the local newspaper, and had also been hanging in the same crowd since Lindsey was married to Darla.

Although Spike always knew that he’d been doing a better job at the paper than Lindsey, he’d never rubbed the other man’s face in it. Not because he liked the bloke, but because that was simply not his style. Still, he knew that Lindsey had been jealous of him, and would happily do whatever he could to cause trouble. And in the end, it had been Lindsey who had made it so he’d lost his job.

Of course, it hadn’t been Lindsey who had poured the large amounts of alcohol down his throat and then forced him to go to work; Spike had managed to do that all by himself. But Lindsey had been the one who had gone to their boss; Holland Manners, and told him what was going on, hoping that the old man would hit the roof and fire him. And that was just what he had done. When Spike had confronted him, Lindsey had denied it of course, claiming that he’d just been concerned and wanted to help. Bollocks!

And now he was here, bragging about some bloody promotion? Well, whatever reaction Lindsey was hoping to get, he’d be deeply disappointed. Sighing, Spike closed the door. “And you’re telling me this because…?”

Lindsey slumped down on the couch, pretending to be hurt. “Aren’t you gonna congratulate me? It’s a big honor for me, hell, you should know. I know you had your mind set on working your way up in the paper, but I guess some people just don’t have what it takes.” He leaned back on the couch, looking very pleased with himself.

Spike wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug look off of Lindsey’s face, but wasn’t stupid enough to act on that impulse. It was obvious that the man was trying to provoke him, but what he couldn’t figure out was why. Of course, Lindsey had never needed a reason before. Spike had never understood why the other man hated him so much; it couldn’t just be because of their work. Not that he really cared, though. Lindsey was a ponce; he and Darla deserved each other. Of course, it was no secret that Darla was seeing others. Lindsey didn’t seem to care, though, and Spike suspected that he was getting some happiness elsewhere as well.

Now he just shrugged, giving Lindsey an uninterested look. “Did you want something, or did you just come here to annoy me?” He went on before Lindsey had the chance to answer; “Not that it matters, I’ll still throw you out if you won’t leave willingly. But I’m curious, so just bear with me.”

Looking a little taken aback, not to mention annoyed, Lindsey sat up abruptly. He was just about to say something when he was interrupted by the shrill sound of the door bell. Opening the door, Spike was more than surprised to see Buffy and Hannah outside. Not that he wasn’t happy to see them, but he couldn’t help thinking that their timing couldn’t have been worse.

“Hi, Spike! We’ve come to surprise you!” Hannah was practically bouncing up and down, a huge grin on her face.

“Um, I’d say you succeeded.” Spike glanced over his shoulder, silently cursing. Now what? He couldn’t exactly throw Lindsey out in front of the girl now, could he? And inviting them in while that git was still there was out of the question.

Said git got up from the couch and walked over to the door, coming to stand next to Spike. He gave Buffy a look-over, his eyes coming to rest on her cleavage, and let out a low whistle. “Nice, Spike! A blonde now, is it? I’ll have to give it to you; this one’s even hotter than Dru.” He turned to Spike, a devilish look on his face; “Aren’t you gonna introduce us?”

Gritting his teeth, Spike was determined to act civil, although he longed to give Lindsey a well deserved punch in the face. “Think it’s time for you to leave now, mate.”

Buffy gave Spike an uncertain look, Hannah suddenly clinging to her hand. “I’m sorry, if this is a bad time… I didn’t realize you had company.”

“That’s okay, Lindsey was just leaving.” Spike glared at the other man. “Right?”

“Of course. I know when I’m not wanted.” Lindsey put on a fake smile before finishing, not bothering to hide the sarcasm in his voice; “That was fun, we must do it again some time.” Then he looked at Buffy once more, before he left without another word, an awkward silence following.

Spike was the first one to speak up; “Sorry ‘bout that, the guy’s a jerk. Come on in.”

Buffy opened her mouth, but Hannah beat her to it, shyness forgotten. “We’re going to the park, wanna come?” As if she was afraid he would turn the offer down, she hurried to add; “We’re gonna get ice cream!”

Looking at Buffy for confirmation, Spike chuckled. “In that case, how could I resist?”

Hannah went on; “We were going to order take-out, but ice-cream’s much better.” She turned to her mother. “Can we go to the playground? I wanna ride the swings!”

Buffy gave her a firm look. “Yes, but first we’re going to the grocery store to buy a couple of sandwiches and some fruit. I refuse to be one of those mothers who let their kids have ice cream for dinner.” She ignored her daughter’s pouting, and turned to Spike. “Are you sure you wanna come? I mean, if you had other plans…”

Spike shook his head, giving her an assuring smile. “Course I wanna come. How could I not wanna spend the evening with my two favorite girls?” Both Buffy and Hannah beamed at him. He grabbed his duster before stepping outside, closing the door behind him. When they headed towards Buffy’s car, Hannah eagerly tugging on his hand, Spike had already managed to put all thoughts about the unwanted visitor to the back of his mind.


TBC

“So, Spike, who was that guy?” Buffy paused before finishing; “I didn’t like him.”

Spike glanced over at Hannah, seeing that she was too busy munching on her sandwich to hear what they were talking about. “Lindsey McDonald. Married to Darla and just about as annoying as she is.” He considered telling Buffy about the work incident, but decided against it, at least for now. Instead, he changed the subject. “Wanna tell me about…?” He gestured at Hannah, hoping that Buffy would remember what they’d talked about earlier, and that she’d promised to tell him more about Liam.

Buffy hesitated, then nodded. She turned to Hannah. “Sweetie, why don’t you go and play for a while? You don’t have to finish that.” She’d expected Hannah to jump up immediately, happy to finally get to play. But the girl remained where she was.

Hannah didn’t meet her mother’s eyes when she finally answered. “Maybe later.”

Buffy frowned. “But you’ve been talking about riding the swings ever since....“ She looked over to the playground and saw two little girls, about Hannah’s age, who she vaguely recognized from her daughter’s class. Sighing, she understood why Hannah suddenly was so reluctant; those girls were friends with Kathy O’Connor.

“That’s Mary and Alyssa,” Hannah pointed out, still not looking at her mother.

“I see.” Buffy sighed again. She really wanted to talk to Spike, alone, but couldn’t exactly make the girl leave against her will. Oh well, she guessed their talk would just have to wait. “Maybe we should just go home.”

Hannah nodded, a relieved look on her face, but Spike looked from the girl to Buffy in disbelief. “Hold on, we’re not going anywhere.” He turned to Hannah. “You wanted to ride the swing, right?”

“I guess…” Hannah looked at the other girls, swallowing. “I mean, I did, but I’ve changed my mind.”

“Bollocks!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Remember what I told you about letting the other kids win? If we leave now, that’s exactly what you’re doing.” She just looked at him, a blank expression on her face. “If you wanna ride the swing, that’s what we’ll do, all right? Come on.” He got up, holding his hand out for the girl to take. Holding his breath, he almost expected her to refuse, but she finally accepted his hand and got up as well.

Buffy smiled when Spike and Hannah headed for the swings, but at the same time she felt a little stupid. She would’ve never even suggested that they’d go over there anyway; she would’ve just taken her daughter away, anything to keep her from having to face her bullies. Maybe her solution had been easier for the girl, but it sure would’ve been a coward thing to do. Spike obviously wasn’t like that; if there was a problem, he did something about it. Sometimes she wished she could be more like that.

When Spike and Hannah came over to the swings, the other girls had left. Now they were standing by the sand box, sometimes whispering and casting curious looks in Hannah’s direction. Hannah was oblivious though, laughing as Spike kept pushing the swing higher. But when he finally claimed that he needed a break, Hannah jumped off the swing without objecting. The two little girls; Mary and Alyssa, who’d been looking at them for the last ten minutes, slowly made their way over to them.

“Hi, Hannah.” One of the girls; she had long blonde hair, tied up in pigtails and blue eyes, smiled a little warily.

“Hi,” Hannah mumbled, looking down at her feet.

The other girl spoke up; she had short brown hair. “Mary and I are gonna go climb the monkey bars. Wanna play with us?”

Hannah looked up, surprised. She glanced at Spike, then looked at the girls again, as if to see if they really meant it. “I don’t know…”

“Please? It’ll be fun!” The blonde girl; Mary, gave Hannah a pleading look.

Hesitating, Hannah turned to Spike again, obviously not knowing what to do. He just shrugged. “Go play if you want, bit. Your mum and I’ll be right over there.” Considering it for a moment, Hannah finally nodded and followed the girls over to the monkey bars. Spike looked after them, then went back to Buffy, who was still sitting on the blanket they had brought with them, and sat down next to her.

She looked at him in confusion. “Why did Hannah go with those girls? And what did they say?” She’d been watching how Mary and Alyssa had walked over to them and started talking to her daughter, and now she was both worried and curious.

“Wanted Hannah to come play with them.” Spike looked over to where the three girls were now playing together, laughing, and flung his arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “And we need to talk, so I guess that works out nicely then.”

Buffy still looked confused. “But Hannah never plays with other kids from school.” Seeing that her daughter actually looked happy, she decided to let it go for now. “All right, I guess she’ll come back here if they’re not being nice to her.” To tell the truth, a part of her feared that the girls were just playing with Hannah to get a chance to tease her.

Spike pulled her closer, giving her a peck on the cheek. “I don’t think you have to worry, they seemed like they really wanted Hannah to play with them. And I seriously doubt they would be mean to her now, knowing we’re sitting right over here.”

Smiling a little, Buffy leaned into his touch. “I guess you’re right. And we do need to talk.” She took a deep breath. “I suppose this is where I start telling you about Hannah’s father.”

“Only what you want to tell me, luv. It’s up to you.” Spike gave her an assuring smile, wrapping his arms around her.

Buffy sighed, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms, it felt safe. “I told you before, it’s no secret. I met Liam when I was still in college; we hit it off right away.” She swallowed as the memories came rushing back, suddenly feeling ashamed. “Only problem was, he was engaged to my best friend.”


TBC

When Buffy started telling her story, she realized how gullible she had been. Thinking about it now made her cringe, but back then, she’d been convinced that everything would work out her way. Of course, she’d been wrong. Although she’d lost quite a lot over the years, one thing she’d always managed to keep was her pride. But now, telling Spike about her mistakes, she suddenly feared for his reaction. But she was still going to tell him, after all, he’d told her about his past, it was only fair that she’d do the same thing.

She’d fallen in love with Liam O’Connor the moment she’d first laid eyes on him, but since he was engaged to her best friend, Cordelia, she’d considered him off limits. That was until he’d started to come on to her, one night at a fraternity party, and from that moment he’d kept hitting on her as soon as Cordelia was looking the other way. Buffy knew that the right thing would have been to tell her friend about it, but for some reason, she didn’t want it to stop. Flattered that Liam seemed to be truly interested in her, she’d decided to keep his actions a secret.

Buffy and Liam had started spending more and more time together, of course without Cordelia knowing about it. Buffy had felt really guilty about it, but Liam had convinced her that his relationship with Cordy was going down-hill, that he was going to break up with her as soon as he would find the right opportunity. Only, he never did. Buffy realized later that he’d never intended to end his relationship in the first place; she had been a fool to think she actually meant something to him. But she had been young, naïve, and really believed that Liam was her soul mate. Now she knew better.

Of course, Buffy hadn’t intended to sleep with Liam before he would end things with Cordelia; she’d considered that crossing the line. But Liam had wanted her, all of her, and he’d been very persistent about it. He’d promised her that if she would only agree to sleep with him, he’d leave Cordy the next day. And Buffy had wanted, so badly, to believe him. Liam hadn’t been the first guy she’d had sex with, but he was definitely the best, and their one night together had been wonderful. At least, that’s what she’d thought.

The next morning, she’d woken up alone. Liam had gone back to Cordelia, and told her everything. Only he’d made it come out as if it had been Buffy who had been the persistent one, that it had all been her idea from the beginning, and that he’d just went along with it to see how far she would go. And as if that was not enough, he’d also spread the rumor all around school that Buffy was betraying, easy, and not to mention terrible in bed. Cordelia had turned her back on her former best friend, and forgiven Liam instantly.

After that, school had been pure hell. She’d still had a few friends left, thankfully, one of them being Willow, who’d refused to listen to the gossip and actually believed in Buffy’s side of the story. She had tried, repeatedly, to talk to Cordelia, tried to explain that she’d never intended to hurt her, that she’d actually thought that they’d been about to break up their engagement, and that she was so sorry for everything. But Cordelia hadn’t wanted to listen to any apologies, she and her friends simply decided to make the rest of Buffy’s time in college as miserable as possible. Buffy had been beyond grateful when she’d graduated, only a few weeks later, but then came the next shock. She found out that she was pregnant.

Realizing that Liam was the only one who could be the father, Buffy finally decided to seek him out, after spending the first two months in denial, hoping that it all would just go away if she didn’t think about it. But when she’d started to show, she couldn’t deny it any longer, realizing that she was acting both childish and irresponsible. So she’d looked him up, without expecting anything from him, she’d just wanted to let him know that he was going to be a father. It turned out that Liam had moved in with Cordelia right after graduation. But not only that; he had also managed to make Cordy pregnant as well.

Liam had made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the child Buffy was carrying, not now, not ever. He and Cordy were about to get married at the time, and he had suggested that she would simply get rid of it, had even offered to pay for it. When she had refused, Liam had been furious, accusing Buffy of wanting to ruin his life. Buffy had left Liam’s house in despair, promising herself that she would raise her child alone, and never again have anything to do with either Liam or Cordelia. And for a long time, she’d thought she would succeed.

Her pregnancy went easier than she’d ever dared to hope for, and when she finally gave birth to a perfect little girl, her happiness knew no limits. Buffy’s mother – Joyce, helped her out as much as she could, and about a year later when Buffy was ready to try to find a job, her mother helped her getting Hannah into nursery school. Hannah loved every minute of it, and Buffy and her daughter were finally able to move out of her mother’s house and buy a small house of their own. The years went by, and life went pretty well.

About the same time as Hannah was starting school, Joyce met a new man – Ted. Buffy hated him from day one, realizing that the feeling was more than mutual, and begged her mother to stop seeing him. Joyce refused, claiming that Ted made her happy, and Buffy had no choice but to accept it. Not happy about it, she started to avoid going to her mother’s house, although she still visited her with Hannah every once in a while, but only after she’d made sure that Ted wasn’t going to be there.

Hannah was really looking forward to starting school; she’d been talking about it for weeks. She was a very bright girl, and Buffy had no doubts that the girl would do really well. The first day in school they ran into Cordelia and Liam, and their little daughter – Kathy. Liam had simply ignored her, and Cordelia had made some snarky remarks. After that, nothing happened for about a week, then one day Hannah came home and asked Buffy if Kathy’s father was actually her real father as well. Buffy had answered as sincerely as she could, furious at Liam and Cordelia.

Little Kathy had made a big show of telling the other kids in school that Hannah didn’t have a father, that he hadn’t wanted her and her mother because they were a bunch of losers. All the other kids had laughed, and since that day Hannah had been teased and picked on constantly. It was no surprise that the little girl soon came to hate school. And that just broke Buffy’s heart, seeing her daughter suffer every day and not being able to do anything about it. She’d tried talking to the teachers, to the other parents, even to Liam and Cordelia once, but nothing helped. Because sometimes, kids were just cruel.

But now when she was siting here on the blanket, finishing telling Spike all about her past, she was scared. She was not a bad person, she’d just made a bad decision once, and it had resulted in the true miracle that was her daughter. But would Spike see it that way? Would he be able to look at her from now on, and not only see a selfish woman who had once betrayed her best friend? Or would he decide that he didn’t want anything to do with her, and leave her? She took a deep breath, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, and spoke; “Well? What do you have to say about all of this?”


TBC

For a moment, Spike just stared at her in disbelief. “You’re telling me the ponce cheated on his fiancée with you, got you both knocked up, and then just turned his back on you when he found out?”

Buffy nodded. “That about sums it up.”

“Stupid git!” Spike all but growled. “But at least he’s paying child support, or whatever they call it, right?”

Sighing, Buffy shook her head. “I don’t want anything from him, especially not his money. I can take care of Hannah myself; I don’t wanna depend on that jerk.”

“But…” Spike hesitated, then decided to let it go, at least for now. But if he was ever to run into Liam, he would gladly teach him a thing or two about taking responsibility for his actions. He kept that thought to himself, though. Buffy didn’t need to hear that, what she needed right now was his support. “Right. I’m really sorry, luv. But you and Hannah are probably better off without him. He doesn’t deserve to have such a great kid as her.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying that it makes it okay, there are no excuses for doing what he did, but…”

“I know what you mean.” Buffy swallowed. “But what do you think about me? I made the ultimate no-no; sleeping with my best friend’s boyfriend. You have every right to think I’m a slut, or worse.”

“All right, first of all…” Spike paused for a second before he went on; “Don’t ever wanna hear you talk like that again, that’s just bollocks. He was the one in a relationship, not you. And he made you think that it wasn’t even serious, you said so yourself. Sure, you could’ve told her, probably should have, but no one’s perfect. You made a mistake is all.”

Buffy looked down at her hands. “I don’t understand how you can be so calm about this.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, I’m not, believe me. Right now, it takes about everything that I have not to hunt that son of a bitch down and beat him into a bloody pulp for doing that to you.”

Angrily wiping away a tear, Buffy glared at him. “But I’m responsible here as well, don’t you see? I don’t want you to think that I’m okay with stealing other people’s boyfriends, I’m really not.” She desperately tried to hold back a sob. “Your girlfriend cheated on you, I don’t want you to think for a second that I could ever do the same thing.”

Finally, the reason why she was so upset seemed to dawn on him, and he pulled her into his arms again. “I don’t, really, Buffy. That thought never even crossed my mind.”

Pulling back a little, so she could look him in the eyes to see if he really meant it, Buffy gave him a shaky smile. “Really?”

“Really.” The look he gave her was assuring, and she let out the breath she’d been holding. “I’m glad you told me this, pet. Maybe now we can both move on with our lives.”

Frowning, Buffy gave him a worried look. “Okay, when you say ‘move on’, you do mean together, right?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sorry, that came out a bit… Yeah, of course I mean together. Wouldn’t want it any other way.” Intending to show her how serious he was, he tightened his grip around her and pressed his lips against hers. Her only response as she returned the kiss was a soft moan. Slowly falling back, so they were lying down on the blanket, their kissing soon got more intense. Spike’s hand came to rest on Buffy’s thigh, and her fingers were playing softly with his hair.

“Mommy! Spike!”

Immediately pulling apart, Buffy and Spike jumped at the sound of Hannah’s voice. Siting up, Buffy gave her daughter a guilty look, knowing that for a second she’d forgotten that the girl was there. “Hi, sweetie!” She looked behind Hannah and realized that the other two girls were standing there as well.

“You were kissing! Eeww!” The girl named Alyssa made a disgusted sound, then started giggling, Mary and Hannah joining in.

“They’re in loo-ove!” Hannah was grinning, causing the others to giggle even more. Then her smile faltered for a brief second as she glanced at her mother, obviously worried that she’d gone too far.

“Yes, we were kissing.” Buffy smiled at Spike, then winked at her daughter to let her know that she wasn’t angry at her. “And there’s nothing ‘eeww’ about that!” She pouted a little, making the smile on Hannah’s face return. Looking at her watch, Buffy’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe we’ve been here for almost two hours! We’ve better head back.”

Spike nodded, but Hannah groaned. “I don’t wanna go home yet. Can’t we stay just a little longer? Please?” Alyssa and Mary joined her in her pleading.

Buffy smiled, happy that Hannah finally had found some friends, but shook her head nevertheless. “Sorry, honey, we have to go. But you can keep playing in school tomorrow, right?”

Mary and Alyssa became quiet, looking at each other. Then Mary finally spoke. “We can’t.”

Alyssa shook her head in agreement, a sad look on her face. “Kathy’s going to be there. She doesn’t like anyone to play with Hannah. Right, Mary?”

Mary nodded. “She’ll get mad.”

The disappointed look on Hannah’s face almost broke Buffy’s heart, and she had no idea what to say. But Spike spoke up; “See if I’ve gotten this straight. You two want to play with Hannah?” The girls nodded. “But you can’t do it at school, ‘cause Kathy won’t like it?” They nodded again. “And you listen to Kathy because…?”

Mary and Alyssa looked at each other again, then Mary turned back to him, a surprised expression on her face. “Because she’s… I mean, everybody…” She stopped then, looking at Alyssa for help. The other girl just shrugged.

Hannah had stepped away from the other girls and moved over to her mother. “We can go now, Mommy.” The happy girl that had been playing and laughing only minutes earlier was gone.

Buffy swallowed, nodding. “Sure, sweetie.” Hannah started towards the car, not looking back once. Buffy and Spike grabbed their jackets and the blanket and got up, hurrying to follow, leaving Mary and Alyssa to look after them.


TBC

Buffy tried to relax in Spike’s arms and focus on the movie they were watching, but for some reason, she found it to be very hard. Not because she wasn’t comfortable being that close to him, but because she couldn’t get what had happened earlier that day out of her mind. She had gone to the meeting with Hannah’s teacher, hoping that the woman would tell her that she knew what was going on with Hannah and help her come up with a way to stop the bullies.

But all Miss Burkle had noticed was that Hannah for some reason seemed to keep herself away from the other children, like being an outsider was a choice Hannah had made on her own. Of course, the woman had seemed genuinely concerned and willing to help, but she’d also refused to believe that any of the children in her class was being mean to the girl on purpose. ‘You know how kids are, playing and joking all the time. I’m sure it’s all just a big misunderstanding,’ the teacher had blurted out with a nervous laugh.

Buffy had left the school in both fury and despair, feeling more helpless than ever. Hannah hadn’t said anything, but from the way the girl had been acting the last couple of days; sad and gloomy most of the time, one could easily assume that her little ‘friends’, Mary and Alyssa, had fallen under the pressure from Kathy O’Connor and simply pretended that the playing in the park with Hannah never happened.

Tonight Hannah was spending the night at Willow’s, leaving Buffy and Spike to have the house all to themselves. It was all very romantic, but suddenly Buffy couldn’t stop thinking about her daughter. Luckily Spike doesn’t seem to notice, she thought, glancing over at him. Don’t want him to get the wrong idea and think that I don’t wanna be here with him. Then she realized that he was watching her, a concerned look on his face, and turned to the TV with a frown. The movie was paused.

“Um… when did you…?” She blushed, realizing that he obviously hadn’t been that oblivious after all.

Spike checked his watch. “I’d say ‘bout fifteen minutes ago. You noticed just now?” Missing the teasing look in his eyes, Buffy gasped in shock, and he took pity on her. “Kidding, luv, just turned it off. Mind telling me were your mind was, and why you don’t seem to be enjoying my delighting company?”

Horrified that he would think that, Buffy hurriedly started to stutter out a series of apologies. Then she saw the amused look on his face, and realized that he wasn’t being serious. “Jerk!” She pouted, causing him to chuckle.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist. Find you bloody adorable when you’re stuttering like that.” He leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, then tried to pull away, but she wouldn’t let him.

“Oh, no you don’t!” She tried to give him a stern look, but had a hard time to keep from giggling. “Think I’ll let you off the hook that easily, do you? Think again. It takes more than a lame kiss on the cheek to get back in my good grace, mister!”

He snorted, pretending to be deeply offended. “Lame, you say? Take that back!”

“Make me!” Buffy raised her eyebrows in a suggestive manner, the challenge evident on her face. Next thing she knew, she was lying flat on her back on the couch, arms pinned over her head. Holding her arms in place with one strong hand, he started tickling her with the other, causing her to squeal. “Eeeek! Stop it, I’m warning you! Stop it right now, or I’ll… do something really, really bad!”

Spike paused, looking at her in mock fear. “Was that a threat? Bloody hell, I’m shaking with fear, better call the whole thing off. No, wait…” He started tickling her again, ignoring her muffled protests. Suddenly he stopped, their intimate position dawning on him, and their eyes met. He cleared his throat. “Um… I’ll just....”

He started to pull away, but once again, Buffy stopped him. “Move now, and you’ll never get to kiss me again.”

His eyes widened, then his lips curled into a smile. “Now, that’s a threat I won’t take too lightly.” He kissed her then, and she slid her arms around his neck with a happy little moan. When he pulled back again, Buffy was about to scream in protest before she realized what he was doing; pulling his shirt over his head and letting it drop to the floor. Grunting in approval, she struggled to get up so she could do the same thing, and nearly accidentally pushed him off the couch.

She giggled. “Sorry, the couch is a little… small. Maybe…”

He interrupted her before she could finish. “Bed?”

Nodding eagerly, Buffy jumped up from the couch, reaching for his hand. “Bed much better!” She frowned at her choice of words, then shrugged and pulled him after her towards the bedroom, Spike not late to follow.

Once inside, words suddenly seemed unnecessary when Spike gently lowered them both back on the large bed. Buffy just smiled. “Told you this was better.”

His brows went up, and he smiled back. “I’d say I agree.” He kissed her again, then slowly slid his hand under her shirt, gently stroking her stomach. Giving her a questioning look, he hesitated. “This okay, luv?”

“No.” His face fell at her statement, and he pulled his hand back as if he’d burned it, starting to apologize. She smiled then and caught his hand, bringing it to her shirt and made him grab at the edge, gesturing at him to take it off. Looking at her in surprise, hope evident on his face, he obeyed. She was wearing a white lace bra underneath, and he longed to touch it. Buffy seemed to be reading his mind, and let out a soft laugh. “Won’t you rather take that off as well?”

For a moment he just looked at her, as if to see if she really meant it, then nodded. She sat up a little to give him better access, and he managed to get the bra off after a moment of struggling, much to Buffy’s amusement. Then the smile died on her lips as she came to stare at his lean, muscular body, trying hard not to lick her lips. Yum!

Seeing the admiring look on her face, Spike couldn’t help but smirk. “Like what you’re seeing, pet?” She blushed, averting her gaze. Then he became serious. “Buffy, are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, if it’s too soon, I won’t mind if…”

She interrupted him by pressing her lips against his, opening her mouth just a little so their tongues could meet. He let his fingers run gently through her hair as he returned the kiss hungrily. All too soon, breathing became an issue and they had to pull back. Buffy then looked him deeply in the eyes. “I’m sure.”


TBC

“Buffy?” No response. Spike tried again. “Luv? You awake?” Still nothing. He sighed, and let his hand find her bare stomach, gently stroking the soft skin. Buffy let out a soft moan, before snuggling closer to him and continued to sleep. Rolling his eyes, he let his hand wander a little lower, until he reached what he was looking for. He was just about to sneak his hand inside her black, silky thong, when she spoke.

“Are you kidding me? You can’t possibly be ready again so soon!”

He smirked. “Oh, I’ve been ready since…” Then he frowned. “You’ve been awake the whole time, haven’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Buffy giggled.

“Right.” Spike snorted. “Bloody hilarious you are. Bet you’re getting off on watching me squirm and suffer.”

Her brows went up, and she gave him a devilish grin. “Well, the squirming part sounds kinda interesting. Care to demonstrate?” She giggled again, then became serious. “Last night was…”

Spike interrupted her before she could finish. “Don’t say it was a mistake. Please, don’t tell me you regret what happened.”

She leaned over to place a soft kiss on his lips before sitting up. “Three times, Spike.” He just gave her a blank look, clearly not understanding what she meant, and she rolled her eyes. “That’s how many times we did it last night. Don’t you think I would’ve realized it after the first time, if I thought what we were doing was a mistake?”

Clearly relieved, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Thank God!”

Buffy gave him an assuring smile. “Seriously, no regrets. What I was going to say was that last night was amazing.”

“That it was.” He reached out and cupped her cheek, looking her deep in the eyes. “You know what?” She shook her head, a questioning look on her face. Then she let out a squeal as he pulled her back down and rolled them over, so that he was on top. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to make love to you in the morning.”

Buffy tried not to whimper, she was all too aware of his hardening erection, and the affection it had on her. “Spike, please…”

“’Please’ what? As in ‘Spike, please stop’, or as in…?” Spike raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, then closed his eyes as she started rubbing her clit against him.

“Don’t you dare stop!” She let out a gasp as he reached for her thong and, after a moment of struggling to pull them down gave up and simply ripped them off. Cringing at the sound of her favorite underwear being torn to shreds, Buffy glared at him in disapproval.

Spike just shrugged. “Buy you a new pair.” He was just about to let his cock slide inside her, when there was a knock on the door, just before he heard a voice outside the bedroom.

“Buffy? You awake?”

He froze in his tracks, staring at Buffy whose eyes widened comically. “Is that…?”

Buffy jumped up, desperately searching for her clothes, and started to panic when she couldn’t find them. Grabbing the sheet from the bed, she wrapped it around her before calling out to the unexpected visitor; “Willow? Is that you?”

There was a pause, then she could hear Willow’s voice again. “Yeah, sorry if I woke you up!”

Cursing to himself, Spike grabbed his pants from the floor and started to pull them on. Buffy gave him an apologetic look before she hurried over to open a crack in the door and peek her head outside. “Will, what happened, is Hannah okay?!”

Willow’s eyes widened when she realized what she’d interrupted. “Oh God, Buffy, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you were…” She blushed. “Sorry!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry about it. But why are you here, I thought you were gonna give Hannah a ride to school today? Is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Buffy, but Hannah refused to go. I just didn’t know what to do, so I drove her home.” Willow looked worried.

Buffy sighed. “I see. Where is she now?” Willow gestured towards the stairs. “Okay, I’ll be right there. Do you mind staying with her while I get dressed?”

Willow nodded. “Of course.”

Buffy gave her a grateful look before closing the door with a sigh, and turned to Spike. “We have a problem.”

Spike, now fully dressed, walked up to her. “I heard. What are you gonna do?”

Hurrying over to the closet to find something to put on, Buffy sighed. “I don’t know. I wasn’t prepared for this. I have to be at work in a couple of hours, I can’t let her stay home.”

“And you shouldn’t.” Spike gave her a firm look. “Buffy, she has to go to school. You’re not doing her any favors by letting her stay home; the problems will still be there.”

“I know!” Buffy pulled a green shirt over her head. “But what am I supposed to do, Spike? I hate having to force her to go there against her will.” She swallowed. “I know that most kids hate school, but this is different.”

“Yeah, I know.” Spike pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head, and she happily leaned into his touch. Suddenly an idea hit him. “You know, I don’t have anywhere to be today…” Like always, he thought bitterly before dismissing the thought. “How ‘bout I’ll just take her to school and hang around there for the day? Bet the kids won’t do anything to her then.”

Buffy frowned. “You wouldn’t mind?” He shook his head. “I’m sure Hannah would love that, but what about the next time she refuses to go?”

He shrugged. “Let’s worry about that then.” He paused for a moment before he went on; “This can’t go on forever you know, sooner or later you’re gonna have to talk to your ex about this. The ponce might not give a damn about Hannah, but it’s his other kid who is the problem here.”

“It’s not like I haven’t tried.” Buffy pulled back from his embrace with a sigh. “He just won’t listen, and then there’s Cordelia who keeps glaring at me, insinuating that it’s all my fault. I don’t know if I can take anymore of that.”

Spike nodded. “I understand. All right, forget about them now. Why don’t you go tell Hannah that I’ll be taking her to school, while I’ll just take a quick shower? Kind of wish you could join me, but…” He gave her a sad smile, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Next time, I promise. Just picture me in there with you, all wet and naked…” She paused, trying not to giggle. “Gotta go, see you downstairs!” With that she left the room, not able to resist looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the disappointed expression on his face.

Spike glared after her, painfully aware of the hardening bulge inside his jeans. “Right. Better make that a cold shower, then.”


TBC

“Okay, children! This is the letter ‘G’. Anyone know a word that starts with a G? Don’t forget to raise your hands!” Several hands went up, and Miss Burkle gestured for a boy in the back row to speak.

“Gorilla!”

Miss Burkle smiled. “Very good, Joey! Anyone else?” She glanced over at Spike, and blushed.

Spike rolled his eyes. He’d been in the classroom for less than twenty minutes, and already he’d lost count on how many times the bint had looked his way, giggling and blushing. He was starting to find her behavior more than a little awkward, not to mention that he was already beyond bored. When he’d offered to take Hannah to school and ‘hang around’, he’d planned on waiting outside the classroom, but as soon as Miss Burkle had seen him she’d practically squealed, insisting that he’d join them inside. Of course, Hannah had seemed to be thrilled, proud even, so how could he refuse? But now he kind of wished he had.

Hannah had been very quiet in the car on the way to school, something he wasn’t used to. At first he’d thought that she didn’t want him to be there, that she was ashamed of him or something, but the girl’s reaction when Miss Burkle had asked him to join them in class told him that was not the case. And so far, none of the kids had said anything mean to Hannah, which was good. But on the other hand, none of them had made any efforts of talking to her at all. He wondered what they would be like out on the school yard.

“Now, let’s all stand up and sing ‘Once a farmer had a dog’!” Miss Burkle smiled brightly, before once again glancing his way. Spike held his breath. Surely she wouldn’t…? “Mr Pratt, why don’t you stand up and join us?” Oh bollocks!

He let out a nervous laugh, looking around the room. “No, I… uh… I think I’ll sit this one out.” She looked like she was about to object, then seemed to decide against it, much to his relief. The kids started singing, and he leaned back in the chair with a sigh, discretely looking at his watch. He was starting to wonder what he’d gotten himself into. Ten minutes later, they were still singing and he was ready to start climbing the walls. It was almost a relief when they were finally done and Miss Burkle told the kids that they were going to do some math before recess.

“I’ll just step outside for a while, bit, that okay? Need to stretch my legs.” Hannah nodded, and Spike left the classroom. Slowly wandering down the long corridor, he finally reached a large door with a sign saying ‘LIBRARY’. He shrugged, and entered.

“No, no, no, put that book down please, it’s very old! And may I remind you to keep your voices down; this is a library after all.” A man in his late thirties, or possibly early forties, was running back and forth, carrying a large pile of books. He was wearing a brown, tweed jacket. Suddenly he spotted Spike at the door, and hurried over to him. “Um… hello. I’m Rupert Giles, the librarian. How may I help you?”

Spike noticed that the man seemed to be more than a little stressed, and wondered if he was the only one working there. “I was just checking the place out, thought I’d find me something to read.”

“Oh, I see.” The librarian studied him closely. “You’re a parent of one of the students, yes?”

Spike was just about to object, when he realized that it might seem a bit odd for a grown man who didn’t have any kids to hang around the school. Of course, he could explain the circumstances, but he didn’t think the other man would have the time, nor would he be interested. So, he just nodded. “Right.” He reached out his hand in greeting. “William Pratt.”

Giles’ frown disappeared, and he smiled. “Nice to meet you, Mr Pratt.” He was about to say something more, but got interrupted by the sound of a large amount of books dropping on the floor, and sighed. “Oh, dear! I have to… excuse me!” With that, he hurried towards where the sound had come from, leaving Spike to snicker. The library was crowded, both students and teachers standing in line by the counter, not to mention all the people who were looking for various books over by she shelves.

He found an empty table and sat down, happy to find some sports magazines, and started reading. Almost ten minutes later, he jumped at the sound of a throat being cleared, and turned to see Giles standing behind him. He noticed that the crowd at the counter seemed to have cleared out a little, and chuckled. “Rush hour’s over?”

“For now, yes.” Giles sighed, looking tired. “I keep telling Principal Flutie that I need an assistant, but he claims that he can’t find anyone willing to work only a few hours a day.” He sat down on a chair next to Spike and removed his glasses, starting to wipe them with a handkerchief he found in his shirt pocket.

Spike was about to answer, when a young, dark-haired woman, obviously a teacher, came over to them. “Mr Giles, I need your help.”

Giles put his glasses back on his nose, and put on a smile. “Of course, Miss Calendar.” He got up and was about to follow, when a boy who looked around thirteen or fourteen came up to him as well.

“You have to help me find a book.”

Sighing, Giles gave him a patient look. “You’ll have to wait, Justin, someone else was before you.” He glanced over at Miss Calendar, now standing by the counter.

The boy; Justin, got an angry expression on his face. “I’m not waiting for anyone, you hear? You think for a second that I’ll hang around here with all the geeks, while you’re off flirting with the computer teacher? Think again!” He raised his voice, and the remaining people in the library were now staring at him.

Giles opened his mouth, then closed it again, obviously taken aback by the boy’s words. Spike decided to step in, and turned to Justin. “No need to get worked up, mate, what book are you looking for?”

Justin gave him a surprised look. He hesitated for a moment, before answering. “David Copperfield, by Dickens. It’s for my English class.”

“Right.” Spike gestured for Giles to go help Miss Calendar before turning back to Justin. “It ought to be over at the novel section, I’ll help you look for it.” He headed for the novel section, relieved when the boy followed.

Giles returned a couple of minutes later, having helped both Miss Calendar and Justin to check out their books. Spike gave him a worried look. “I hope you don’t mind I helped the guy, you looked like you could use an extra hand.”

Waving his hand in dismiss, Giles shook his head. “Of course not, your help was appreciated, I assure you.” He hesitated before he went on. “I’m about to head off for lunch, but you’re quite welcome to stay.”

Spike looked at his watch, his eyes widening. “Bloody hell!” He gave Giles an apologetic look. “Sorry, didn’t realize it was that much. Gotta go, have a girl waiting for me.” With that, he hurried out from the library, hoping that Hannah wouldn’t be too upset with him for being a little late. When he got back to the classroom, he realized that it was empty, so he headed for the doors leading out of the school building, hoping to find the girl outside.

Out on the play ground, there were kids everywhere, and he sighed. How was he supposed to find Hannah here? A group of children standing in a ring, obviously intrigued by whatever was happening in the middle, suddenly caught his attention, and he hurried over to them. When he got closer, he realized that what had gotten everybody so interested were two little kids fighting, in kid style, that was, which mostly consisted of pinching and hair pulling.

“Hey, that’s enough!” He pushed his way into the circle of kids, intending to stop the fight, when one of the kids looked up. "Hannah?!"


TBC

Buffy glanced at her daughter, but remained silent. They were sitting outside the principal’s office, waiting for Kathy’s parents to show up. When Principal Flutie had called her at work, telling her that Hannah had gotten into a fight at school with Kathy O’Connor, Buffy hadn’t believed him at first. She had been convinced that it was a mistake; Hannah had never done something like that before. But then Spike had called her, only a minute later, and confirmed what the principal had told her. Realizing that it had to be true after all, she had dropped everything and hurried over to her daughter’s school.

Hannah had been quiet when Buffy arrived, obviously not wanting to talk about what happened, and after a quick talk with Spike, she realized that he didn’t know anymore about it than she did. So, now all they could do was wait. The last thing Buffy wanted to do was be in the same room as Liam and Cordelia, and being confronted by the principal, but on the other hand, maybe it was for the best. Maybe Principal Flutie would finally realize what was going on in his school, and then he would have to do something about it. At least she wasn’t alone; Spike was there as well, and for that she was deeply grateful.

“Looks like I’ll finally get to meet that ex of yours, eh, pet?” Spike mumbled into her ear.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I’m counting on you to act civil, no matter what happens.”

He pouted a little. “Hell of a lot to ask.” She couldn’t help but smile.

“Can’t we just go home? I already said I’m sorry.” Hannah suddenly spoke, quietly. She kept her eyes on the floor, clearly ashamed.

“Not yet, sweetie.” Buffy sighed, giving her daughter a sad smile. “We’re gonna have to wait for Kathy and her parents to arrive, and then you two are gonna have to tell Principal Flutie about what happened.

“What did happen, bit?” Spike gave the girl a questioning look, but she just shrugged in response, and he went on; “You know you’re gonna have to tell us eventually.”

Hannah looked up then, glaring at him. “I’ll tell Mommy and Principal Flutie, but I don’t wanna tell you!” She quickly looked away again, missing the hurt expression on Spike’s face.

“Hannah!” Buffy was confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?” The girl didn’t answer.

“Maybe I should just go.” Spike glanced at Buffy. Seeing that she was about to object, he hurriedly went on; “Really, Buffy, I shouldn’t be here. This is clearly a family thing, and I don’t…” He shrugged before finishing; “…s’none of my business.”

“No, Spike, I want you to stay.” Buffy gave him an assuring look, then turned to her daughter; “I don’t know what’s going on, but you…”

“But I don’t want him to stay!” Hannah jumped up from the chair, stomping her foot.

Buffy stared at her daughter, then opened her mouth to speak, but Spike beat her to it. “It’s okay, luv, I don’t mind. Just call me when you get home, yeah?”

Swallowing, Buffy nodded. “I’m sorry…” He just waved his hand in dismiss, then placed a soft kiss on her lips before he got up and left. Blinking away some tears, Buffy then glared at Hannah. “You have some explaining to do, young lady!” Then she realized that the girl was silently crying, and her face softened. “Hannah?”

“I’m sorry, Mommy.” Hannah wiped at her eyes, not wanting to look at her mother. “I did a bad thing, and I don’t want Spike to find out. He’ll get mad at me, and then he might leave.”

“What?” Buffy looked at her daughter in confusion, then pulled the girl into her arms. “Okay, Hannah, talk to me. Tell me why you think Spike would leave.”

Hannah sniffled. “I told the other kids that Spike was going to be my new Daddy.”

“Oh.” Buffy became quiet for a moment. She sighed. “Is that why you and Kathy started to fight?”

The girl nodded, a miserable look on her face. “Yes. Kathy didn’t believe me and I got mad, so I kicked her. But she shouldn’t believe me because I lied, and lying is bad.”

“I see.” Buffy sighed again, not sure of what to say.

“Please don’t tell him, Mommy!” Hannah gave her a pleading look. “I’m sorry I lied, but I just wanted…” She swallowed. “I wanted it to be true.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike threw away the cigarette he’d been smoking with a sigh. He didn’t understand why Hannah was suddenly mad at him, she had been happy when he’d taken her to school earlier that morning. He hoped that Buffy would understand why he had left; he knew she wasn’t comfortable with meeting Liam and his wife by herself. But Hannah clearly didn’t want him to be there, and he didn’t think he had the right to go against the girl’s wishes. Not like he was her father or anything, he thought bitterly. He was just about to get into his car when he heard a familiar voice behind him. “Spike? I can’t believe it, what are you doing here?”

He had to suppress a groan and turned around with a sigh, putting on a fake smile. This day was just getting worse by the minute… “Angel.”

The dark-haired man gave him a curious look, then glanced over his shoulder. “This is my wife – Cordelia. I don’t believe you’ve met.” The beautiful woman behind him took a step forward and reached out her hand in greeting, a bright smile on her face.

Spike shook her hand, then frowned. “Did you say ‘Cordelia’?”

Angel nodded, smiling at his wife. “Beautiful name, isn’t it? A beautiful name for a beautiful girl, right, baby?” Cordelia giggled. Then Angel became serious, giving Spike an apologetic look. “Sorry, man, but we gotta go. We got a call from the principal; there seemed to have been some kind of misunderstanding involving our daughter.”

Cordelia’s smile disappeared, and she got an annoyed expression on her face. “I’m telling you, Angel; Kathy’s not responsible, no matter what anyone says. It has to be that little…”

Spike interrupted her before she could finish. “I’m sorry. Kathy?” He let out a bitter laugh as realization hit him. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”


TBC

“Okay, what am I missing here?” Cordelia looked from Angel to Spike, a confused, yet curious expression on her face. Angel only looked confused.

“So, you’re Liam.” Spike rolled his eyes, wondering why he hadn’t made that connection before. After all, he had known that Hannah’s father was a selfish bastard; a description that fitted Angel perfectly.

“He doesn’t go by that name anymore, hasn’t for years.” Cordelia explained with a frown.

“That’s right.” Angel suddenly looked thoughtful. “In fact, the only one who calls me that is…” His eyes narrowed as he put two and two together. “You know Buffy.”

“Buffy?!” Cordelia practically spat the name out, then snorted, obviously deciding that someone who knew Buffy wasn’t worth wasting her precious time on. “That’s nice. Excuse me.” She turned around and started towards the main building, but not before giving Angel a look indicating that he’d better follow.

“Be right there, baby.” Angel blew her a kiss, a big smile on his face. Then he turned to Spike, and the smile disappeared. “Well, isn’t that interesting? Are you two dating?”

“Why do you care?” Spike gave him a suspicious look, causing Angel to burst out laughing.

“So, you are. Didn’t take you long to get over Dru now, did it? Unless…” He paused. “Unless you were already fucking Blondie behind her back, wouldn’t that be ironic?” Unprepared for the hard blow, Angel didn’t have a chance to avoid it, and Spike’s fist hit him right on the nose. He let out a surprised yelp and stumbled backwards, but managed to remain standing. Reaching for his face, his eyes widened at the sight of the blood trickling between his fingers. “You son of a…!”

“Shut up!” Spike glared at him. “You see, I kinda have a problem with people accusing me of cheating, pissing me right off, it does. Never been my thing. You on the other hand…” He raised his eyebrows. “Does your wife know where you really are all those nights you claim to be working? Whose bed you’re in? Tell me, Liam, how do you manage to remember the names of all the daft bints you’re fucking? You make them wear bloody name tags?”

Angel snarled at him. “Whatever I do, it’s none of your damn business, William!”

“It is when the girl you’re shagging is my fiancée.” Angel looked taken aback for a moment. “That’s right, you and Dru. Didn’t think I knew about that, did you?”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Mrs O’Connor, how nice of you to finally show up. Please, take a seat.” Principal Flutie gestured for Cordelia and Kathy to sit down at the table, where Buffy and Hannah were already sitting. Buffy let out a small sigh of relief when she realized that Cordelia had come alone, she really didn’t want to face Liam in front of Hannah, at least not without Spike.

“Okay, let’s just get this straight.” Cordelia ignored Buffy and turned to Principal Flutie. “Whatever happened, Kathy didn’t do anything wrong.”

Buffy snorted, staring at her in disbelief. “And how the hell do you know that, you weren’t even there?!”

Cordelia gave her an annoyed look and was just about to say something, when Principal Flutie beat her to it. “Miss Summers, Mrs O’Connor, if you please? There are children present.” Buffy glanced at Hannah, a guilty expression on her face, and mumbled an apology. The principal went on. “Thank you. Now…” He turned to the two girls, who had yet to say a word. “Let’s hear what happened from those who actually were there, shall we? Girls?”

“She kicked me! It hurt.” Kathy pouted, and managed to squeeze out a tear.

“Oh, please!” Buffy rolled her eyes, and turned to her daughter. “Hannah, sweetie, what did Kathy do to make you kick her?”

“She called me a liar.” Hannah looked down at her hands, clearly not comfortable with being in the same room as her tormentor.

“You are a liar!” Kathy glared at her.

“And you’re a bloody daft bint!” Hannah shouted back.

“Hannah!” Buffy gasped, her cheeks turning red as she turned to the principal, an apologetic look on her face. “I’m so sorry about that, I swear she didn’t get it from me.” She gave Hannah a warning look, and the girl looked away again.

Cordelia snorted. “Of course not. She got it from your British lover. What was his name again? Spike?”

“Ladies, please…” Principal Flutie was tapping a pen, impatiently, against his desk, but no one paid any attention to him.

Buffy stared at Cordelia. “How do you know about Spike?”

Rolling her eyes, Cordelia leaned back in the chair. “He and Angel obviously go way back. They’re right outside, talking.” She gave Buffy a complacent look. “He was hot, wonder what he sees in you.”

Ignoring the insult, Buffy kept staring at Cordelia, shock evident on her face. “What?! Spike and… oh my God!” She jumped up from the chair and grabbed her daughter’s hand. “Come on, sweetie, we have to go!” Without objecting, Hannah got up as well.

“Wait a minute…” Principal Flutie looked from Buffy to Cordelia in confusion. “Miss Summers, we weren’t finished…”

“I’m really sorry, but I can’t stay. Excuse me.” With that, Buffy practically ran out from the office, Hannah following.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You were never good enough for her.” Angel had gotten a ‘busted’ look on his face, but quickly covered up. “So you knew, huh? Did you also know that every single time Drusilla was in bed with you, she was really thinking of me, wishing she was with me instead of you?” He chuckled, a smug look on his face.

“That’s not…” Spike stopped, suddenly not sure of what to think. His doubts must have shown, because Angel took a step closer, looking very pleased with himself.

“Of course it’s true. You wanna know how much you meant to her, Spike? Nothing!” Spike flinched, but tried not to let the hurt show as Angel went on; “You wanna know what her last words were? ‘I love you, my Angel’. That’s right; she loved me, not you. You were just convenient. And I bet it’s the same with Buffy, ‘cause face it, Spike. Why would anyone actually care about you?” He let out a cold laugh.

Torn between wanting to kick Angel’s face in, or simply turn around and run, Spike suddenly froze in his tracks as the other man’s words started to sink in. “Did you just say ‘her last words’?”


TBC

Angel just stared at him, a blank look on his face. “What?”

“You said ‘her last words’,” Spike repeated, crossing his arms over his chest. “What did you mean by that? Why would you know what Drusilla’s last words were?”

Suddenly finding his shoes very interesting, Angel looked down and let out a nervous laugh. “No, I meant… the last time I saw her, that’s when she said…” His voice trailed off and he swallowed. “I think it was about a week before the… the accident.” He hesitated. “I meant the last words she said to me.”

“Really?” Spike gave him a suspicious look. “Cause that’s not what you said. You said ‘her last words’, as if…”

“Forget what I said!” Angel finally looked up, glaring at him. “I gotta go, have to, um...” He gestured towards the school building.

“Hold on.” Spike stepped in his way, stopping him from passing. “When was the last time you saw Dru?”

Suddenly looking like a deer caught in the headlights, Angel took a step back. “Why are you…? I don’t remember.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “You don’t remember?” Angel shook his head, a stubborn look on his face. “But you just said it was a week before the accident.”

Angel opened his mouth, then closed it again. Then he shrugged. “I did? Well, I guess…”

“Did you see her the day she died? Where? What were you talking about?” Spike followed Angel as he started to back away.

“I…” Angel looked around, like he was expecting the right answer to appear somewhere in the surroundings. “I don’t remember.”

“You actually expect me to believe that?” Spike snorted. “What, did you fuck her?”

“No!” Angel shook his head firmly.

“So, that much you remember?” Angel inhaled shakily, then nodded. “But you don’t remember where you were, or what you were talking about?” The dark-haired man remained silent, and Spike rolled his eyes. “Well?!”

Angel finally lost his temper. “You really wanna know what we were talking about? Fine! She told me about the baby, all right! Happy now?!”

Spike stared at him in disbelief. “She told you…? Why the bloody hell would she…?” Then he stopped, as realization hit him. “The baby…?”

“Was mine, yeah.” Angel let out a defeated sigh. “At least that’s what Dru said, although she couldn’t possibly know for sure. I mean, she was fucking the whole damn town, I don’t see why…” He paused for a moment. “Don’t look at me like that; you must know what she was like. Anyway, I guess she wanted it to be mine.”

“Right.” Spike took a deep breath. “Because she loved you?” Then he remembered something. “But she was going to have an abortion.”

Angel frowned. “She didn’t say anything about that. I figured she thought that if I’d think the kid was mine, I would leave Cordy for her.”

“Would you?” Spike realized that if he would’ve found out about this a couple of weeks ago, it would’ve destroyed him. But that was before he had met Buffy.

“No, I wouldn’t.” Angel suddenly looked very tired. “I told Dru, but she wouldn’t listen. She kept nagging and whining, said she’d tell Cordy about us if I didn’t leave her. I said if she did, I’d tell you. I thought that would scare her, but...” He then looked somewhat ashamed. “It didn’t seem like she’d care.”

“Course not.” Spike let out a bitter laugh.

Angel sighed. “Then she started begging. Went on about stars and sunshine, no idea what that was about. To tell the truth, it was starting to creep me out. So, I told her to stay the hell away from me. She didn’t take it very well.” Spike wasn’t the least bit surprised by that statement; Drusilla had never been able to handle being rejected. Angel went on; “She got almost hysterical, started yelling and hitting me. I knew that if I’d stay, I’d hit her back. So, I decided to leave. I told her to stay away from me, and got into my car.”

Spike nodded slowly. “And Dru?”

“What do you think?” Angel suddenly got angry. “She kept yelling that she loved me and tried to get into the car. I couldn’t let her…” He stopped.

Waiting for him to continue, Spike raised his eyebrows again. “Couldn’t let her… what? What did you do?”

“Nothing! I…” Angel closed his eyes for a moment. “I really gotta go.”

“Did you kill her?” Spike was surprised at how calm he was, he sounded so casual, he might as well could’ve asked about the weather. That thought almost made him laugh, seeing how absurd the situation was. Then he sobered up abruptly, noticing the guilty look on Angel’s face. “Bloody hell! You…”

“Shut up!” Angel looked around, nervously. “I didn’t do anything, not deliberately. I would never… It was an accident!”

Spike stared at him in shock. “You were the one driving the car that...”

“No!” Shaking his head in denial, Angel glanced toward his car, parked on the other end of the parking lot. Then he sighed, realizing that he wouldn’t be able to get out of the mess he’d created. “But I…” He swallowed, for the first time looking afraid.

“But what?” Spike all but snarled. “Tell me what the bloody hell happened!” He shoved Angel back, hard, up against one of the cars, then grabbed him by the collar of his jacket to keep him from moving. “Tell me!” A part of him was still aware of the fact that he and Angel were standing at the school parking lot, and if anyone would see them, they were most likely to call the police. But yet he didn’t care. Thankfully, there was no one around.

“All right, all right!” Angel glared at him, trying to push him away, but was unsuccessful. “I saw who did it.” Spike gave him a threatening look, gesturing for him to go on, and he let out a nervous laugh. “I mean, I saw the car, I have no idea who was driving.” At that statement, Spike pulled his fist back and punched Angel on the nose again.

“Ow! Fuck!” Angel growled in pain and frustration. “Dammit, Spike, why the hell…?!”

“If you’re lying…” Spike raised his fist again, and gave him a warning look.

Angel laughed bitterly. “Then you’ll what? Kill me?!” Then he rolled his eyes. “I’ll tell you what happened, if you’ll stop hitting me.” Spike remained silent, so he sighed and took a deep breath. “Look, I was just trying to get away, but she was acting all crazy.” He closed his eyes as the memories of that night came rushing back. “She jumped in front of the car, screaming at me to stop and let her in. So, I shifted the gear and started backing away. She must have realized that I wasn’t stopping, that’s when she said it; ‘I love you, my Angel.’ Then she…” He hesitated. “I don’t know why she stayed in the middle of the road; she never saw the other car coming.”

He went on, his voice trembling. “I didn’t… I just wanted to get away; I thought the driver would stop. I didn’t think she’d be seriously hurt, when I heard on the news…” Angel took another shaky breath. “If I’d known… I would’ve stopped, called 911. But I…” He gave Spike a hostile look. “I didn’t know!”

“Because you only cared about yourself!” Spike punched him again, causing the other man to gasp for air.

“Yes!” Angel glared at him again, wiping some of the blood off of his face. “That’s right. I may be a selfish bastard, but I never wished for her to die.” He rolled his eyes again. “Now what? Gonna tell the cops on me?”

Spike considered it for a moment. But what good would that do? It sure as hell wouldn’t change anything. And it wasn’t like he had any proof that Angel was partly responsible for the accident. Then an idea hit him. “No, but I’ll tell you what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna take your wife and your kid and get out of Sunnydale. I don’t care where you’re going, as long as you’ll never set foot in this town again.”

Angel stared at him in disbelief, then laughed. “You’re crazy! What would I say to Cordy?”

Spike shrugged. “Really don’t care. I’m sure you’ll think of something, though, you’ve obviously never had any problems lying to her before.”

Shaking his head fiercely, Angel started to object. “Forget it, I’m not leaving. You can’t make me, it’s not like you can prove anything.”

“Maybe not about that.” Spike suddenly got a smug look on his face. “However, I do have proof, pictures in fact, of you and Dru, at the Sunnydale Inn. You’re looking real cozy together; I bet your wife would love to see that.”

Angel stared at him, mouth open. “How…?”

“Does it matter?” Spike gave him a challenging look. “I’d be happy to show them to you, after I’ve made some copies, of course.”

For a moment, Angel was silent, obviously at loss for words. Then he cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly trying to keep at least some of his dignity. “I see. Well, um… I’m sure we can come up with some kind of understanding. Maybe…”

“This is not a negotiation.” Spike interrupted him, coldly. “I told you the deal, you either accept that, or your wife will hear everything.” He held his breath for a second, waiting for the other man’s reaction.

“Does Buffy know you’re in to blackmailing now?!” Angel was furious. Spike just looked at him, not the least bit impressed by his outburst. Whatever reaction Angel had hoped to get by bringing Buffy into the mix, he was disappointed. He gave up, sighing. “I’m gonna need some time.”

“You’ll get a week from today.” Spike looked Angel right in the eyes as he went on. “That is if you can get your spoiled brat for a kid to behave. I hear one word that she’s been givin’ Hannah a hard time, if she so much as looks at her funny again, deal’s off. Then your wife finds out, and don’t think for a second that I’m not serious.”

Angel glared at him. “And how the hell am I supposed to do that?! She’s a kid; I can’t control what she does when I’m not around!”

Spike just shrugged. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find a way. Not like you have a choice.” Angel was fuming. He opened his mouth to object, than seemed to decide against it. Spike gave him an expectant look. “Well? Do we have a deal, or should I…?”

“Yes!” Angel hissed through gritted teeth. “I’ll talk to Cordy tonight. Now, get the hell out of my sight!”

Spike smirked. “My pleasure.” Then he walked over to his car, jumped in and took off, leaving Angel to stare after him in rage.


TBC

Buffy ran through the large doors leading out of the school building, looking around in panic. She had left Hannah in the library with Giles, not wanting the girl to witness a possible confrontation between Spike and Liam. Reaching the parking lot just in time to see the back of a familiar black DeSoto, she realized that she’d been too late. Then she saw a tall, dark-haired man hurrying towards the main building. Torn between running over to her own car and chase after Spike, or rush over to confront Liam, she decided for the latter.

“Liam!” He jumped at the sound of her voice before casting a nervous look her way. Obviously deciding to ignore her, he just kept walking. Furiously, Buffy hurried after him, refusing to let him get away. “Hey! Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

He stopped then, sighing as she came closer. “What do you want?”

Buffy glared at him. “If you think for one second that I’m following you because I want to, you better think again. I wanna know what just happened between you and Spike.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just ask him? I’m sure he’d be happy to tell you.” About to snap at him, Buffy suddenly noticed the now dried blood on his face, and her eyes widened. Angel let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

“I wasn’t asking.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “I wanna know what the hell…”

“Angel! Where have you been?!” Cordelia came up behind them, Kathy clinging to her hand. She looked upset. “We had an appointment with the principal, thanks a lot for letting me deal with that all by myself!” Then she glared at Buffy. “And why the hell are you talking to her?!” She turned back to Angel, and let out a gasp. “Oh my God, you’re bleeding, what happened?”

Angel ignored her question. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Wait!” Buffy turned to Kathy, kneeling down next to the girl. “Kathy, I know you haven’t been very nice to Hannah. That has to stop.” She was about go on, but was interrupted by Cordelia.

“How dare you accuse…?!”

“Cordy.” Angel gave his wife a warning look before turning to his daughter. “You’ll be good from now on, right Kathryn?” The girl stared at her father in disbelief, then turned her eyes away. Finally, she nodded. Angel smiled at her, but his smile faltered when he looked at Buffy. “See? It won’t happen again, are you happy now?”

Buffy was stunned, but managed to mumble a response. Cordelia stared at her husband, mouth open. “Angel, what…?”

“We’re leaving.” With that, Angel spun around and headed toward his car, not bothering to look at Buffy again, nor did he turn around to see if his wife and daughter would follow. Cordelia glared at Buffy for a brief moment, then grabbed Kathy by the hand and hurried after Angel.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Less than an hour later, Buffy had dropped Hannah off at Willow’s, and was now standing outside Spike’s apartment, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door. For a second, she feared that he wouldn’t be home, but let out the breath she’d been holding when the door swung open. Spike looked surprised to see her. “Buffy? What are you doing here?” Seeing the hurt look on her face, he hurried to apologize. “Sorry, luv, didn’t mean for it to sound like I’m not happy to see you. But I thought you were going to call me tonight.”

“Yeah, well…” Buffy hesitated. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Oh, sorry.” He took a step back, gesturing for her to come in.

She gave him a grateful smile before entering the apartment. Once inside, her eyes wandered quickly over his face and body, checking for any sign that Angel had managed to do some damage to him. “Are you okay?”

He gave her a surprised look. “Sure. Why?”

“I…” Buffy sighed. “I ran into Liam... Angel. He looked a little…” She swallowed. “Cordy said… Why didn’t you tell me you knew him?” She followed Spike over to the couch and sat down.

“Didn’t know it was him.” Spike shrugged. “Don’t worry; I’m pretty sure he won’t bother you again.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy glanced at him a little warily. “Look, it’s not like I’m defending him or anything, but…” She paused, not sure of how to go on. “Did you really have to hit him? What if he’ll… I don’t know, call the police or something. I thought I told you to act civil; besides, I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to go all caveman on me. And what if Hannah had seen you? You can’t just go around and hit people whenever…”

Spike interrupted her, starting to get annoyed. “Wasn’t like that. If you’d just let me explain, instead of…”

“What happened, then? Did he hit you first?” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to speak.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “No. But…”

“So, you started it? That’s really great, Spike, now what?” Buffy threw her hands in the air, jumped up and started pacing the room. Then she stopped, glaring at him. “Is that the way you’re usually solving the problems, with your fists? Dammit, Spike, I needed you to support me, I never asked you to…”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “You think I’d just walk up to a guy and punch him in the face, unprovoked? Then you don’t know me at all.”

Buffy looked taken aback. “All right, tell me what happened.”

Spike snorted. “Right, now you wanna hear my side of the story? What’s the bloody point? You’ve already decided that I’m the bad guy here.” Buffy opened her mouth to object, but he ignored her and went on; “Yeah, I know Angel, we go way back. Used to shag Dru behind my back, and was probably the one who got her pregnant. God knows he got to fuck her more than I did.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Day she died? He was there. Saw what happened, and then took off, left her on the fucking road to die.”

Buffy stared at him in shock, and her face softened. “Oh, God, I had no idea…”

He glared at her. “Cause you didn’t want to listen to me. You actually think I’d start fighting a guy for no other reason than because he happens to be your ex? Sorry to disappoint you, pet, not everything’s about you.”

She looked hurt. “That wasn't fair.”

“Yeah? Neither is accusing me of things before knowing the whole story.” Spike walked over to the front door and opened it, giving her a cold look. “Think you should go now.”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “What?! You can’t just… We have to talk about this!”

“Really don’t feel like talking right now.” What he did feel like doing at the moment was getting drunk, but he didn’t have to tell her that. He gestured for her to get out. “Just go.” She looked at him, a miserable expression on her face, silently begging him to let her stay. But he looked away, knowing that if he didn’t, he’d give in, and he wanted to stay angry at her. Finally, she seemed to realize that he wasn’t going to change his mind, sighed, and left the apartment without looking back. He closed the door behind her, and headed for the liquor cabinet.


TBC

Having spent the last hour just driving around, Buffy finally found herself being back outside Spike’s apartment. She had called Willow back and asked if she could watch Hannah for a few more hours, and thankfully, Willow didn’t mind at all. This was their first fight, and now she felt horrible. Still, a part of her was upset with Spike for throwing her out, he could at least have let her apologize. Now she wasn’t sure of what to do, should she knock on the door and demand for him to let her back inside, or should she just give up and go home? After all, he had told her to leave; he’d made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to talk to her right now. But yet, she remained where she was.

Buffy had been so happy this morning, and now she just felt like crying. If only she hadn’t been so stupid, it was all her fault! What if this was it, what if everything was over now? The mere thought of not being with Spike anymore brought tears to her eyes, and she wiped them away, angry at herself for thinking like that. This wasn’t the end of the world; couples were fighting all the time, right? She just had to apologize, and everything would be okay. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her hand and knocked on the door. They would have to talk to each other sooner or later, anyway, and if Spike cared about her as much as she hoped he did, he would probably be just as miserable as she was right now.

When the door finally swung open, she didn’t give Spike a chance to say anything before she started babbling. “Okay, I know you’re mad at me, but I’m not leaving until you’ve given me a chance to explain.” He opened his mouth, then closed it again as she went on; “And if you’ll throw me out again, I’ll just sit down and wait right here outside your door, you’re gonna have to come out eventually.” She paused for a second, having to breathe. “And if you still won’t listen to me, and try to walk past me like I don’t exist, then I’ll just follow you around until you’ll talk to me, because…” She hesitated, swallowing. “Because I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me. Please, let me in?”

Spike looked at her for a moment, before nodding. “All right.”

She stared at him in disbelief, having not expected to be invited back in that easily. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you said…”

Rolling his eyes, Spike took a step back, allowing her to enter. “Just come in before I change my mind. Have a feeling you won’t give up, anyway, might as well get it over with.”

“Get it over with?!” Buffy felt tears welling up in her eyes. “Are you breaking up with me, is that it? We have one little misunderstanding, and you’re just gonna give up on us? I thought you wanted to be with me and Hannah… Oh my God, Hannah, what am I gonna tell her, she’ll be crushed!” A sob escaped her throat, and she went on, desperate to keep the tears from falling; “It’s not fair; Hannah adores you and you made me fall in love with you and now you’re just gonna walk out of our lives! I can’t believe…”

“Whoa, what?!” Spike interrupted her ramblings, staring at her. “Hold on, what did you just say?”

Buffy looked at him in confusion for a moment, then sniffed. “I said you’re a dope. It’s totally unfair of you to…”

Spike shook his head. “That’s not what you said…” Then he frowned. “I’m a what?”

She glared at him. “A dope. And a bonehead. And…” Buffy stopped then, wiping her eyes. “Wait, this is not me apologizing now, is it?”

“Um, no, this is you insulting me.” Spike gave her a tired look. “Look, Buffy, you’ll have to stop doing this, otherwise, it will never work between us. I never said I was walking out of your life, or that I’m breaking up with you.” He sighed. “Just come in, will you? You wanted to talk, so let’s just do that. But I’m not having this conversation in the doorway.”

“Oh, okay.” Buffy looked down at her feet, feeling very stupid. She had done the exact same thing again; jumping to conclusions without even giving Spike a chance to explain. She inhaled shakily, and stepped inside. “I’m really sorry about what happened before.”

He gave her a small smile, closing the door behind her. "It's okay. Maybe I overreacted a bit, but...” She opened her mouth to object, but he held up his hand to stop her. “Just hear me out, all right?” She nodded, zipping her lips closed, before following him over to the couch. Suddenly seeing the half empty bottle of vodka on the table, her eyes widened and she stared at him, a disappointed look on her face.

Spike realized how it must look, and hurried to explain. “It’s not like you think.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest, a sarcastic note in her voice; “Really? That’s not a bottle of vodka I’m seeing, then?”

He glared at her. “Do I seem drunk to you?”

Frowning, she eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then shook her head. “No. But…”

“That’s ‘cause I’m not.” He slumped back on the couch. “Thought about it, though, think I’ve been sitting here staring at the bloody bottle for almost an hour. But I didn’t open it.” Seeing that she was about to speak, he rolled his eyes and clarified; “Today. Have had it for a while. That’s how I used to deal with things, won’t do it anymore.” He sighed. “If you don’t believe me…”

“I do.” Buffy hurried to assure him, knowing that he was telling the truth; he wouldn’t lie to her. He looked relieved at her statement, and she smiled a little. “You were going to say something.”

“Right…” He hesitated for a second, not sure of how to begin. “I’ve had a really bad day today.”

Buffy leaned back on the couch with a grimace. “Join the club.”

His brow went up. “Yeah? You too?”

“Uh huh.” She nodded, then looked thoughtful. “You know what the good part is?” He shook his head. “This day sucked so badly, it can’t possibly get any worse.”

Spike chuckled. “Good point.” He paused, giving her a curious look. “I made you fall in love with me?!”


TBC

Blushing, Buffy suddenly seemed to be very interested in something next to her feet. “I said that, didn’t I?”

“That you did, yeah.” Spike sounded both pleased and amused, bringing his hand up to her cheek, trying to make her look at him, but she stubbornly refused to meet his eyes. “Buffy?” She mumbled something, and his eyes narrowed. “What’s that, luv?”

She sighed, finally looking up. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.”

His face fell, and he swallowed. “Didn’t mean it, then?”

Buffy suppressed a groan, angry at herself for not being able to say the right thing. “No, I did. But…” She looked away again. “I shouldn’t just have blurted it out like that. I mean, sure, we’re dating and it’s really nice, but we never talked about…” Her voice trailed off.

“Love?” He nodded in understanding. “Big word.”

“Scary word.” She pouted a little, which he found adorable.

“Buffy…” He hesitated, suddenly not sure of how to go on. “What I feel for you is real. I want it to be more than just dating, I want the whole thing; a serious relationship. If that’s what you want, too, of course.” Now it was his turn to look away, afraid of what her answer would be. Closing his eyes, he waited for a possible rejection.

“Move in with us!” His eyes snapped open and he stared at her in shock. Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized what she’d just said. “Um, maybe that would be too soon? Yeah. Way, way too soon. Sorry, think my brain stopped working for a brief moment. Just forget I said that. I…” She realized that she was babbling, and stopped abruptly, beyond embarrassed.

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle and leaned over to kiss her. Buffy smiled, despite her embarrassment, when he pulled away. “What was that for?”

He shrugged. “No reason. Just find you bloody adorable when you’re blushing, is all.”

She giggled, then became serious. “So, no moving in together yet. But you can still spend the night at our place every once in a while, right?”

Smiling, he kissed her again before nodding. “Sure, pet.”

Buffy looked relieved, then seemed to remember something. “Oh, and the answer is yes, by the way.” He looked confused for a moment, then his face broke out in a wide grin as understanding hit him. She giggled again. “You look like someone just told you you’ve won a million dollars.”

“More than that.”

Their eyes met, and suddenly she felt like she was drowning. She shook her head firmly. “I’m not worth nearly that much.” Seeing that he was about to object; and not sure if she could take another compliment without melting into a puddle of goo, Buffy decided to change the subject. “So, wanna talk about what happened before? With Liam, I mean?”

“Not sure if there’s so much to talk about.” Spike leaned back on the couch with a sigh. “Told you what happened. Short version, anyway.”

“Yeah, you did. But…” Buffy leaned back as well, snuggling close to him. “You didn’t tell me how you feel about it.”

He shrugged, his arm coming to rest around her shoulders. “Doesn’t matter now.”

“Of course it does.” Buffy laid her head down on his shoulder, her fingers starting to draw patterns on his thigh. She had a really hard time taking in the fact that Liam and Angel – the guy who had been sleeping with Drusilla for years – was the same person. Suddenly she thought of something, and frowned. “Wait, didn’t you say Angel used to sleep with Darla as well?” Spike just raised his eyebrows, and Buffy shook her head in disgust. “God, he really kept himself busy, didn’t he?”

“Still do, I wager.” Spike shrugged again. “Bloody wanker was terrified his wife would find out about his affairs.”

Buffy got a sadistic smile on her face. “Ooh, can I be the one to tell her?”

Chuckling, Spike shook his head. “Sorry, pet, promised she wouldn’t find out. We came to an understanding.” Buffy stared at him in disbelief, and he sighed. “All right, so I blackmailed him. I’m not proud of it, though…” He stopped, then smirked. “Wait, I kinda am.”

Rolling her eyes, Buffy couldn’t help but smile, even though she tried to stay serious. “What did you do?”

“I…” Suddenly he got nervous, not sure of how Buffy would take what he was about to tell her. But she would find out sooner or later, anyway. “Remember those photos Darla gave me?” She nodded. “Told him that if he didn’t take his wife and kid and left Sunnydale, I’d show them to Cordelia.”

She stared at him, mouth open. “He actually agreed to that?!”

Spike snorted. “Not like he had a choice.” Buffy got a concerned look on her face and he hurried to add; “Might not be morally right what I did, but…” He paused for a second. “To tell the truth, I really don’t give a fuck. I’m sorry if it upsets you, but partly I did it for you and Hannah. Maybe now things will get better for the bit in school.”

Buffy was touched, yet not surprised that he would think about that. “You really care about her, don’t you? That’s very sweet.”

“Course I care.” Spike looked at her, a serious expression on his face. “She’s a great kid, and…” He shrugged. “Well, let’s face it, not like I have any kids of my own to care about.”

Sensing his bitterness, Buffy was almost afraid to ask; “What if Drusilla hadn’t…”

He interrupted her before she could finish. “Not relevant.”

“But…”

Sighing, Spike gently cupped her cheek. “Buffy, I mean it. I spent all this time thinking I could’ve been a father, when really I wouldn’t, even if she’d still been alive.” He closed his eyes for a moment; it still hurt to talk about.

Buffy reached for his hand. “You don’t know that. Maybe…”

“Yeah, maybe. But it doesn’t matter.” He gave her a firm look, only to look away when she raised her eyebrow.

“Really?” He didn’t answer. Buffy sighed. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay with this? Because…” She hesitated. “I understand if you’re not completely over Drusilla, I really do. But…”

“Buffy…” He sighed again. “It’s complicated. I’m over her, really. But still…”

She gave him a sad smile. “It’s hard?” He nodded. “I know. Look, if you’re not ready for anything serious, we can just take it slow. There’s no need to rush things.”

He shook his head, eager to assure her. “Told you I wanted the whole thing, didn’t I? I bloody meant it. Just be patient with me, all right? I’m really trying.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Buffy nodded. “I can be patient.” She leaned over and brushed her lips against his. “You know, tomorrow’s my day off…” She left the rest of the sentence hanging, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

He chuckled. “Is that so? Anything particular in mind?”

Smiling, Buffy snuggled closer to him again. “Maybe.” She paused. “Come with me to pick up Hannah at Willow’s, she’s been dying to meet you ever since you stood me up for our date.” He had the decency to look ashamed, and she couldn’t help but giggle. “It’s okay, I’m over it. Anyway, we can watch a movie or something, all three of us, until it’s time for Hannah to go to bed. Then…” Her brows went up again.

Spike groaned. “Don’t tell me I have to read her another bedtime-story!” He smiled, though, letting her know he wouldn’t really mind.

Buffy gave him an innocent smile. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you about starting to read her stories.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I recall you mentioned something about being her slave for life.” Then he looked her deep in the eyes, and she held her breath. “Know what?” She shook her head. “I’m okay with that.”



TBC

“Spike, look at the picture I drew at Willow’s house!” Rummaging through her school bag, Hannah finally pulled out a neatly folded paper, which she held up in front of him, a proud look on her face.

“You did this? All by yourself?” Spike made a big show of looking impressed, and Hannah nodded eagerly. “That’s amazing, niblet! The best looking rhino I’ve ever seen.”

Hannah beamed at him. “You saw that it’s a rhino! You know what Mommy thought?” She glanced at her mother before turning back to Spike; “That it was an elephant!”

Spike gave Buffy an amused look. “Did she now?” Hannah nodded with a giggle, and he ‘tsked’ as he shook his head, looking at Buffy. “Really, pet? Can’t tell the difference between an elephant and a rhino? That’s sad.”

“Yeah!” Hannah agreed, clearly pleased that Spike was taking her side against her mother. “Mommy, don’t you know that elephants have trunks?”

Spike nodded in agreement, trying to stay serious. “Yeah, Buffy, don’t you know that? That thing…” He pointed at something on the drawing. “…is clearly a horn. It’s very obvious.”

Hannah’s smile widened, and she shoved her drawing under Buffy’s nose, pointing at the object in question. It was painted with blue crayon. “See that it’s a horn now, Mommy?”

Buffy mock glared at Spike over Hannah’s head, before taking another look. “You’re absolutely right, sweetie, of course it’s a horn. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Hannah looked very pleased. Buffy then turned to Spike and handed him a large bowl. “You take the popcorn, I’m gonna mix some lemonade. Hannah, why don’t you go into the living room and pick out which movie we’re gonna watch?”

The girl let out a happy squeal and ran past Spike into the other room. “Yaay! The Little Mermaid!”

“What?!” Spike stared after her, then turned to Buffy with a horrified expression on his face. “Tell me she’s joking!”

“Sorry, she just loves that movie.” Buffy shrugged, then couldn’t help but giggle. “Aww, does watching The Little Mermaid ruin your Big Bad image?” He just snorted, causing her to laugh. “Tell you what; after Hannah’s gone to bed, I promise to make it up to you for having to watch such a… what would you call it? …poncy movie?”

He cringed at her horrible imitation of a British accent, then lit up as her words started to sink in. “Is that so? Make it up, you say? I’m listening.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Almost two hours later, the movie was over and Hannah was obviously starting to get tired. Which she, naturally, desperately denied. “I don’t wanna go to bed yet!”

Buffy sighed. “I know, sweetie, but it’s late, and it’s a school night. By the way, you’ll be taking the school bus tomorrow, remember?”

Hannah groaned. “I want Spike to take me to school.”

Shaking her head, Buffy gave her daughter a firm look. “Not tomorrow. It’s Friday, and you agreed to take the bus once a week.” The girl pouted, but didn’t object.

“How ‘bout I’ll come pick you up after school instead?” Spike glanced at Buffy to see if she would mind, but she gave him an assuring smile to let him know it was okay.

Hannah’s face lit up. “Really? Can we stop by the park before we go home? I wanna ride the swings again!”

“Sure.” Spike paused. “If you’ll be a good girl and go get ready for bed. Your mum’s right, it’s late.”

Hesitating only for a moment, Hannah jumped up from the couch and headed for the stairs. Then she stopped, looking at her mother over her shoulder. “Spike’s gonna read me a bedtime-story, not you.” After stating that fact, she hurried up the stairs.

Buffy smiled sweetly, gesturing for him to follow the girl upstairs. “Go ahead; you don’t wanna keep her waiting. Oh, and…” Her smile grew wider. “I’ll be waiting for you upstairs in the bedroom.”

Spike gulped, seeing images of a naked Buffy lying in the bed, all too clearly in his head. He then rushed up the stairs, taking them two steps at a time, while deciding to make the bedtime-story as short as possible.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Spike finally was done saying goodnight to Hannah and entered the bedroom, Buffy raised her eyebrows. “So, you made it. I almost started to think you’d forgotten about me.” She pouted a little.

Spike chuckled, making his way over to the bed. “Not bloody likely.” He paused. “Are you naked under there?”

She gave him a sweet smile. “Why don’t you come under here and find out?” Pulling his shirt over his head, Spike climbed into the bed and tried to get under the covers, but Buffy stopped him. “I don’t think so, mister.” He frowned, and she explained; “Under here, no clothes are allowed. Sorry, but those are the rules.”

He smirked, unbuttoning his jeans and letting them drop to the floor. “Think I like your rules so far. Any more I should know about?”

“A few.” His brows went up as he waited for her to go on. “You’re gonna have to kiss me…”

He leaned over and kissed her softly, and she let out a soft moan. Then he pulled back, his hand starting to gently stroke her stomach. “What else?”

“Well…” Buffy seemed to be thinking about it, then closed her eyes as his hand slowly wandered over her body. “Mmm. Then you’ll have to do that… Perfect.” She let out a gasp as his fingers finally found her swollen clit, and started rubbing against his hand. “Whatever you do, keep doing it!”

“Like this, don’t you?” He tried not to laugh as she nodded eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “What else would you like me to do?” He kissed her again, harder this time, and when he pulled back again, they were both gasping for air.

Buffy swallowed. “I want you to…” Then she hesitated, cheeks turning red. She knew he was waiting for her to say it out loud, and she took a deep breath. “Make love to me?”

He gave her a shaky smile and kissed her one more time. Then he let one finger slide inside her, gently rubbing her clit. Buffy started moaning with pleasure, desperately trying to raise her hips to give him better access. He let a second finger in, pumping his hand slowly at first, then harder. When he could tell she was close to losing it, he quickly pulled out his fingers and rolled over, so he was on top of her, replacing his fingers with his hard cock. Her grip around him tightened, and she let out a whimper. “Ooh! Oh God!”

Grunting, he started thrusting harder, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to last much longer, but too far gone to care. “Aargh! Fuck! Buffy, love you… God, I’m gonna…”

Her fingers were running, almost painfully hard, through his hair and she kissed him fiercely, her hips moving with his in a steady rhythm. “Mmm, Spike! Love you, too, ooh! God! Yes, that’s it, Spike, please! I’m…” She stopped babbling as her entire body seemed to explode, pressing her face against his neck to keep from screaming and risk waking Hannah. Spike on the other hand didn’t have her self control, and came with a roar.

For a couple of minutes, they just laid there, panting and trying to catch their breath. Finally, Buffy was able to speak again. “Did you mean what you said?”

He just nodded. “You?” She nodded as well, and a happy smile appeared on his face. “Yeah? Say it again.”

Buffy couldn’t help but giggle, he was just adorable. Adorable, and incredibly sexy. She leaned over and let her lips brush against his. “I love you.”

The look on his face was pure bliss as he pulled her back into his arms, and she just snuggled closer. “Love you too, pet.”


TBC

After parking his car and entering the school building, Spike almost expected to run into Angel again, but luckily he didn’t. Looking at his watch, he realized that he was a bit early, and decided to go wait in the library until it was time to pick up Hannah in her classroom. He couldn’t believe how quickly the day had passed, but he supposed the fact that he and Buffy had spent the entire morning in bed could have something to do with that. After everything that had happened during the last couple of years, Spike was now almost afraid to enjoy his new found happiness; it almost seemed too good to be true.

He and Buffy hadn’t known each other very long, but he already knew that he loved her, everything just felt perfectly right. And best of all; she actually returned his love, his feelings for Buffy were mutual. Learning the truth about Drusilla had made him question whether or not he would be able to love again, not to mention ever being loved in return. But, thankfully, Buffy had proved him wrong. Now, if only he could get his job back, his life would be more than perfect. Not that he was looking forward to work with Lindsey McDonald again, though, but he could really use the money, and it would be nice to be able to take Buffy and Hannah out every once in a while.

As Spike entered the library, he realized that, just like the last time he was there, the place was crowded. He made his way over to the only empty table, just about to sit down when he bumped into someone. He was about to apologize, when he recognized the boy he had helped finding a book the other day. Obviously, Justin recognized him as well, because he gave Spike a nervous smile. “You don’t happen to know where I can find Treasure Island, do you?” He glanced at Giles over by the counter before he went on; “I was going to ask Giles, but he’s even more grumpy than usual.”

Spike couldn’t help but chuckle, noticing that Giles didn’t look happy at all as he accidentally knocked over a pile of books from the counter. An irritated ‘oh dear’ could be heard, and Spike shook his head in amusement. “I’ll help you look for it.” Justin looked relieved and followed him over to the book shelves.

Picking up the books from the floor, Giles glanced up and saw the same man who had been there the other day, once again helping one of the students before grabbing a magazine and sitting down in one of the arm chairs. Five minutes later, he was able to leave the counter and made his way over to Spike. “Mr Pratt, was it?”

Spike looked up from the magazine. “Right. I was going to pick up…” He hesitated, remembering how he’d vaguely introduced himself as a parent of one of the students. Deciding to tell the truth this time, he finished; “…my girlfriend’s daughter. Was a bit early, so I decided to stop by here and wait for her class to end.”

Giles nodded in understanding. “I see. May I ask who it is?”

“Buffy Summers.” Spike frowned. “Or maybe you meant the girl. Hannah O’Connor. You know who she is?”

“Of course.” Giles smiled. “Lovely girl, although, I have to say…” He paused, obviously not sure if he should really say what was on his mind. “I have noticed that the other children seem to… um, treat the poor girl badly.”

Spike was surprised, to say the least that the librarian had noticed what the other teachers just seemed to ignore. “You’re not wrong.” Sighing, Giles nodded, and Spike went on. “Had a little talk with one of the other parents yesterday, though, have a feeling things are about to change for the better.”

“Let us hope you’re right. Children can be very cruel sometimes.” Giles got a thoughtful expression on his face, then sighed as he noticed the line of people waiting for him. “Oh dear, I better get back. One of these days, this job is bound to give me an ulcer.” Spike chuckled, and Giles started towards the counter, then stopped and turned back to Spike. “If you don’t mind my asking, what do you do for a living?”

Slightly taken aback by the personal question, Spike wasn’t sure of what to say. “Um, right now I’m between jobs, but I used to work for The Sunnydale News.”

“Really?” Giles looked impressed, then got a hopeful look on his face. “You wouldn’t be interested in working here part time, by any chance?” Seeing Spike’s shocked expression, he hurried to add; “I realize the salary wouldn’t be nearly as much as you’re used to, but…” His voice trailed off, and he sighed. “Never mind, I’m sure this kind of job is not what you’re looking for.”

“Now, hold on…” Spike eyed the other man, the surprise evident on his face. “Are you telling me you want me to work here? You don’t even know me.”

Giles gave him a serious look. “I’ve seen enough to know you wouldn’t disappoint me. And, I’m desperate. Are you interested?”

Spike only had to think about it for a second before nodding. “Hell, yeah, I’m interested!”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Giles smiled widely. “Excellent! Go to Principal Flutie’s office. He is going to need to see your references, of course, and maybe speak to your former employer, but I assume that won’t be a problem?”

“Well…” Spike hesitated. “There was this incident…” He looked away for a moment, then looked Giles straight in the eyes. “Look, I got fired. I doubt my old boss will have anything nice to say about me, all I can say is, I’ve changed a lot since then.” He swallowed, realizing how lame it sounded. “I suppose I’m not the kind of person you want, after all.”

“I see.” Giles seemed to be thinking about something. “You should probably go pick up Hannah.”

Letting out a defeated sigh, Spike nodded. “Right.” He got up from the chair, and was just about to leave when Giles spoke again.

“Do you have a number where I can reach you? I will speak to Principal Flutie myself this afternoon, then I’ll get right back to you. However, I doubt he will have anything to say about it after I’ve laid a good word for you. When can you start?”

Spike stared at him in disbelief. “Are you serious? You still want me to work here? Aren’t you even gonna ask me why I got fired?”

Shaking his head, Giles once again glanced over to the line of students and teachers by the counter. “I don’t have time for that. But I trust you to tell me the whole story eventually, yes?” Still in a state of shock, Spike just nodded. “Good. Now, you’ll have to excuse me. Oh, and Mr Pratt?” Spike gave him a questioning look. “Welcome!”



TBC

A little more than a week later, Buffy entered the house and found Spike and Hannah in the kitchen making dinner. Since Spike was now working in the school library, it became natural that he’d pick up Hannah when school was over, and take her home. The girl was thrilled to have Spike with her in school every day, and the first couple of days; she used to sneak into the library as often as she could. But when Miss Burkle had to come get Hannah for the third time in a row, Spike had warned her that Principal Flutie might not want him to keep working there if it led to her being late for class every day. After that, Hannah’s visits to the school library had reduced drastically.

“Mommy!” Hannah rushed over to greet her mother and threw herself into Buffy’s arms. “Look, Spike and I are making dinner. I made the salad all by myself!” She got a proud look on her face.”

“Really? It looks very good.” Buffy smiled at her daughter. “So, how was school today?”

“Great!” Hannah started bouncing up and down. “Mommy, guess what? Alyssa’s having a birthday party next Friday, and I’m invited! Can I go? Please?”

“Of course, sweetie, sounds like fun.” Hannah beamed at her, and Buffy couldn’t help thinking of how much things had changed for Hannah lately. For the better, that was. After Spike’s ‘talk’ with Angel, Kathy hadn’t showed up in school again. Spike had told Buffy how he’d warned Angel about showing Cordelia the photos if Kathy was mean to Hannah again, and apparently, the only way Angel could think of to make sure that wouldn’t happen was keeping his daughter home. And a couple of days ago, Miss Burkle had informed the children that Kathy wouldn’t come back, that her parents had decided to leave Sunnydale and move to LA. That day, Hannah had come home from school with a huge smile on her face.

And now with Kathy gone, Hannah suddenly got accepted by her classmates like nothing had happened. She got invited home to the other kids to play, and she no longer had to be alone in school. And best of all; no one would tease her anymore. For the first time ever, Hannah now looked forward to go to school in the morning, and last night she had actually told Buffy that she wanted to take the school bus with the other kids. ‘I’m not a little kid anymore, you don’t have to take me to school every day,’ she had explained.

Although Buffy was very happy that things were going so well for Hannah in school now, a part of her still had a hard time understanding how the girl could just forgive the other kids for everything they used to put her through for so long, but she realized that it was just the way kids were. She on the other hand wouldn’t be nearly as forgiving, but she knew Hannah was so happy to finally have friends to play with. And Mary and Alyssa had actually told Hannah they were sorry for being mean to her. The two little girls were now Hannah’s best friends.

Buffy snapped out of her thoughts when Spike declared dinner was almost ready, and she told Hannah to go and wash her hands before they ate. As soon as the girl had left the room, Spike pulled her into his arms and gave her a long, tender kiss. When he finally pulled back, she had to gasp for air, and felt more than a little dazed. “Wow, that was… very nice.”

He snorted. “Just nice, eh? Must be losing my touch. Come here, so I can do it again!”

She giggled. “Later, promise. Hannah will be back any moment.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Think she’s seen us snogging before, pet.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but if you kiss me like that again, I’m not gonna be able to keep from jumping your bones right here in the kitchen, and I’m so not ready for her to see that.”

Chuckling, Spike pressed a soft kiss on her lips. “See your point. “But the ‘jumping my bones’ thing sounded kind of interesting, care to demonstrate later when we’re alone?”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Think that could be arranged.” Then she paused. “That means you’re gonna spend the night here again?”

Spike suddenly got an uncertain look on his face. “Would you mind?”

Shaking her head, Buffy hurried to give him an assuring smile. “Of course not, you know that. I love waking up with you in the morning. In fact…” She hesitated, suddenly feeling nervous. “I kinda wanted to talk to you about that.”

“’Bout what?” Spike took the spaghetti sauce off the stove and poured it into a large bowl, which he then put on the kitchen table.

“Well…” Buffy swallowed. “We’ve been spending every night together for the last week, and you’re hardly at your place at all.”

Spike looked at her, feeling a pang in his chest. “You think I’m here too much?”

“No, that’s not what I meant at all.” Buffy took both of his hands in hers, and took a deep breath. “What I meant was; maybe it’s time to rethink that whole ‘not moving in together yet’ thing?”

He stared at her to see if she really meant it. “You serious? You actually want me to live here with you and Hannah?” Buffy nodded. “But didn’t you say it was too soon for that?”

Buffy shrugged with a giggle. “That was so last week.” Then she became serious. “Unless you still think it’s too soon. I didn’t mean to just assume…”

Spike interrupted her by placing another soft kiss on her lips. “I’d love to move in with you. Besides, no point in paying rent for my apartment when I’m never there, anyway.” He hesitated. “Tell the truth, I have thought about it.”

Her eyes widened, and a smile appeared on her face. “Really? You want this, too? You don’t think I’m being all pushy Buffy?”

He chuckled. “I happen to like pushy Buffy. And yes, I want this. Are we gonna tell the bit right now? Cause I think I hear the pitter-patter of small girly feet.”

Buffy heard it as well, and knew it would only be a matter of seconds before Hannah would be storming into the kitchen. The girl would be thrilled, no question about it. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”


TBC

~epilogue~

One year later…


“Buffy, luv, come on, this is ridiculous! You know I didn’t mean anything… Open the bloody door!” Spike let out a sigh, waiting for some sign of life from the other side of the closed door. Buffy had locked herself into their bedroom again; it was the third time today. A part of him was amused by the whole thing, yet another part felt a little bad, knowing he was the reason behind the latest outburst. Unintentional, of course, but still. “Open the door, sweet love, I’m really sorry. You know I love you.” He held his breath, and silently counted to five.

The door swung open, and he put on a serious expression as Buffy glared at him, suspiciously. It wouldn’t do to let his amusement show; he’d learned that the hard way. He had just managed to get her to open; he really didn’t want the door slammed shut in his face again. Giving her his best ‘puppydog-look’, Spike reached for her hand. “I’m so sorry, luv, don’t be mad at me.” Luckily, over the past months, he had learned how to deal with Buffy when her hormones decided to go crazy. Unfortunately, lately it had happened at least five times a day.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest with a pout. “You said I was fat!”

Shaking his head, Spike inhaled patiently. “No, luv, I simply suggested that maybe you’re carrying twins. Not that you actually look like….” Seeing the furious expression on Buffy’s face, he hurried on before she could close the door again. “What I meant was…” He hesitated, honestly not knowing what he had meant. For a brief moment, he had forgotten rule number one; making jokes about growing bellies and clothes that would no longer fit was not allowed.

Thankfully, Buffy interrupted him, turning around in the doorway and walking over to the bed. “Never mind, you were right. I’m huge. I’m surprised every time I still manage to squeeze through the front door. I’m telling you, one of these days I’m gonna get stuck. I hate this!” She sat down on the bed, a miserable look on her face.

Spike shook his head in amusement, walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”

Buffy sighed, looking down at her hands. “Guess not. I don’t regret anything, if that’s what you mean.” She looked up at him. “I just hate looking at myself in the mirror right now, I look like a blimp! And you making stupid jokes doesn’t exactly help. I’m carrying your baby here, Spike.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling terrible. “I really am sorry, pet. But you know I don’t mean…”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed again. “I know you love me, and that I’m not being very rational right now. But try telling that to my stupid hormones.”

Spike chuckled. “You know, you could be twice as big, and I would still love you just as much, if not more.” Her face softened, and he went on; “You’re almost nine months pregnant, luv, you have every right to feel the way you do. But it’ll just be a couple of more weeks before it’s over.”

She actually smiled a little. “Yeah. Then we’re gonna have a little baby. Can you believe that?”

He really couldn’t. Even though he knew it was true, even though he had gone with Buffy to every doctor’s appointment and watched her belly grow over the months, a part of him still had a hard time taking in the fact that he was finally going to be a father. It almost seemed too good to be true. Three months after he had moved into the house with Buffy and Hannah, Buffy had started to get sick every morning. When she told him that she had taken a pregnancy test, and that it had come out positive, words couldn’t describe how he had felt. It had been the happiest day of his life, and he knew Buffy felt exactly the same way.

Hannah, on the other hand hadn’t been thrilled at first; she really didn’t want to share her mommy and Spike with a newborn baby. But after weeks of reassuring the girl that they would still love her just as much, she had finally started to open up to the idea. And lately, she had been almost as excited about the whole thing as Buffy and Spike. But she was still jealous at the fact that Spike would be the baby’s real father, and not hers. Not that he would love her any less, as both he and Buffy constantly tried to assure her, but it was obvious that the girl was still a little worried.

As if she had read his mind, Buffy went on; “I’m really glad Hannah’s okay with this now.”

Spike nodded. “Yeah.” He was about to say something more, when Buffy spoke again.

“I’ve been thinking…” He raised a brow, waiting for her to continue. “Hannah has wanted you to be her daddy, practically since she met you.” Buffy hesitated for a moment. “What if…?” She stopped, suddenly not knowing how to go on.

“What if… what?” Spike waited, having a feeling that whatever she was going to say, it was something important.

Buffy swallowed, suddenly very nervous. “What if you could… be her daddy for real?”

He just stared at her, not sure he had heard her correctly. “Are you talking about…?”

She took a deep breath, looking him right in the eyes. “I’m talking about adoption.” She held up her hand to stop him before he could say anything. “It makes sense, really. You’ve been more of a father to her for the last year than Liam has been for her entire life. And she loves you.” Buffy smiled a little before adding; “We both do.”

Spike was at a loss for words, searching her face for some sign that, despite her words, she wasn’t being serious. Seeing nothing but love, his face finally broke out in a grin. “You serious? You want me to adopt her?” Buffy nodded. He was still in a state of shock, having not seen that one coming. “But we’ve never even talked about it.”

Buffy shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it. I should’ve brought it up sooner, but I wasn’t sure of how you would react.”

He gave her a disbelieving look. “Are you kidding? You know how much I love the bit; don’t think I could’ve loved her more if she was my own. God, Buffy, you’re serious about this?” She nodded again, and he had to blink back the tears from falling. “Then, nothing would make me happier.”

She inhaled shakily, suddenly not wanting to meet his eyes. “Great! But…” She paused. “There’s one thing, though. I think…” She blushed. “I’m not sure of how it works, but I think… maybe for you to be able to adopt her…” Her face turned bright red. “Ithinkwehavetobemarried.”

Spike gave her a confused look. “Say again?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, still not looking at him, but speaking slower this time. “I think we maybe have to be married.” She looked up then, afraid of his reaction. To her surprise, he didn’t look horrified, like she had feared. In fact, he looked almost… relieved?

“Yeah? Well…” Spike smiled a little, then reached for something in his pocket. “I was going to save this for the perfect moment, but…” He shrugged. “What the hell, this’ll have to do.” Taking a deep breath, Spike opened the small box and held it out in front of her, so she could see what was inside. “Buffy, I…”

She let out a gasp, staring at him in shock. “Oh my God, Spike, is that what I think it is?! Are you gonna…?”

He mock glared at her. “Will you be quiet, so I can do this properly?” Eyes widening, Buffy pretended to zip her lips closed, and motioned for him to go on. He gave her a nervous smile, and went down on one knee. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and he gently wiped it away. “Buffy, I love you. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Letting out something between a laugh and a sob, Buffy nodded. “Of course!”

Spike got up and sat down on the bed again, pulling her into his arms. For a long time, they just sat like that, neither of them wanting to move. Finally, he pulled back a little, so he could look at her. “You’ve made me the happiest man on earth, you know that? I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

Buffy blushed. “I’m not that special, really. God, Spike, I love you so much! I’m the lucky one.”

He shook his head. “No, I was lost before I met you. There was a time when I thought I would never find love again, but you proved me wrong.” Taking her hand, he brought it up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “Thank you.”

Buffy smiled through the tears. “For what?”

He looked her deep in the eyes, and in that moment, nothing else in the world existed, but the two of them. “For saving me.”



The End