Summary: Spike has rescued a kitten from the evils of Kitten Poker. He decides to keep it and takes it home. What happens to his reputation? What will the Scoobies think? And more importantly, what will Buffy think?
Categories: Comedy fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Adult Language
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 10
Completed: Yes
Word count: 7770
Read: 19415
Published: 06/08/2004
Updated: 06/08/2004
1. Why does SHE always have to be here? by vampssuck5605
2. Jumping Dusters and Crazy Kittens by vampssuck5605
3. What's that burning smell? by vampssuck5605
4. Confrontations by vampssuck5605
5. Bars, Hangovers, and Purring by vampssuck5605
6. A Tender Moment by vampssuck5605
7. The Fight Starts by vampssuck5605
8. Upping the Ante by vampssuck5605
9. HOW many kittens? by vampssuck5605
10. Cat Clubs and Strange Sayings by vampssuck5605
Why does SHE always have to be here? by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (1/?)
Disclaimer: As much as I would like, Joss said that I had to stop calling these characters my own, and that I should lay off the sugar. Little did he know, those white grains weren't sugar at all... Anyhow, I don't own these characters...except the kitten.
Author's Notes: This is a break from my usual depressing stuff and an attempt to write animal fics. If you find this "bloody absurd", you can just get staked.
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The black-clad figure sauntered down the alleyway, unseen by other life. He carried a yellow woven basket, which clashed with his leather ensemble, in his right hand. In his left hand he carried a brown paper bag, which seemed to be filled. Every few minutes or so, he would open the basket and whisper something to its contents along the lines of Shut the bloody hell up before I rip your head off an' eat it for dinner!
Yup. It was a perfectly normal night on the Hellmouth.
Anyhow, this creature of darkness was obviously worried about the contents of the basket, despite his earlier anger, for he was carrying the basket carefully. After a few minutes, the man turned into the graveyard and started walking through the valley of tombstones casually. It was as if he always walked through at night. The man didn't stop at any of the stone headers during his stroll, so it seemed as if he wasn't there to pay his respects to the deceased. He didn't exactly seem the type to respect anyone, in fact.
He passed through hundreds of tombstones before turning and staggering to the door of a dusty, black crypt. He put the brown bag down on the dirty graveyard grass and swung the door of the crypt open. After picking up the bag, he stepped inside and slammed the door.
Shedding his leather duster, the creature opened his bag and took out two containers of blood. He took the blood over to the refrigerator in the back of the crypt and stuck the blood on a shelf next to many bottles of assorted liquor.
That being done, he picked up the basket and sat down on a ratty old chair in the center of the room. He opened the basket and stuck one hand into it and pulled out something small, furry, and orange.
"Well you lil' bag o' skin, welcome to your new...er...home," the man said to the animal.
The tiny thing shivered and mewled to the man holding him. Seeing the shiver, the figure immediately wrapped the kitten in a blanket and started petting its head.
"You're a helpless lil' thing, eh? You aren't meant to be someone's supper. You're safe with Spike," said the man, indicating himself as the kitten's savior.
Spike smiled down at the orange bundle of fur and kept stroking it until the shivering stopped.
Suddenly, the crypt door swung open. Spike quickly stuck the kitten into the yellow basket and attempted to look bored.
A young blonde stomped into the room and faced Spike, who was still trying to act innocent despite the worried glances he made towards the basket beside him.
The blonde said, "Spike, I need some information on this new demon group."
Spike answered, "Always with the information. Never come around here for anything but. You know, I was just about to offer you some tea, but seein' that this isn't a social call, I guess the tea will just go to waste. Pity."
The blonde just rolled her eyes and tried again. "Spike. What do you know?"
Just then, a faint meow came from the basket. Spike tried to cough loudly to cover it up, but it was too late- Buffy had heard the sound already.
"Spike, did that basket just mew?" asked the blond, looking at Spike suspiciously.
"Wha'? Slayer, you're getting deaf in your old age. It was jus' the refrigerator. Been acting all daft since I spilled blood on the power cord," Spike answered smoothly. The man was obviously skilled at the art of deception.
The Slayer narrowed her eyes at the vampire and asked again. "What's in the basket?"
"Laundry," said Spike. "I have to go to the Laundromat soon. The stink is smellin' up my crypt."
"You keep your laundry in a basket? Isn't that kinda... I dunno... lame?" she asked, still staring at the basket next to the lounge chair.
"Er...yah. Don't have much else to keep it in, now do I?" he said casually, hoping that his tormentor would go away soon so he could feed the little critter in the basket.
Buffy stared at Spike for a little longer, trying to figure out what he was hiding.
"What were you saying about the demon group," asked Spike, trying to urge Buffy's thoughts away from the basket.
"Oh, right. There are these demons that turn their human prey into bugs before eating them. Do you know anything?"
"Hmm... Sounds like a Solo'd'go demon to me," said Spike, still wanting to get Buffy off his back. "Dunno much about 'em though."
"Solo'd'go demon, huh? I'll ask Giles about it," said Buffy. "By the way- you might want to get that refrigerator fixed soon." The blonde, having other places to go, whirled on her feet and rushed out the crypt door.
Spike let out a sigh of relief and quickly let the kitten out of the yellow prison and started fussing over it.
He cooed and petted the little thing, who had started purring in content.
"We've gotta give you a name, yes we do!" said Spike, nuzzling the kitten in a sickening display of over-affection. "I'll call you Bones, just like the bag o' bones you are."
The cat, newly dubbed as "Bones", just mewed happily and looked up at the vamp with adoring eyes.
"You're the only one who looks at me that way, ya know? To everyone else, I'm just a mean, nasty, ol' thing that has no feelings. It's a horrible un-life."
Bones sensed that the man holding was sad (with his kitty-senses) and started meowing mournfully.
"Oh no, Lil' bit! Don't start cryin' on my account! I'm fine, really!" Spike said, trying to comfort the kitten.
At Spike's soft words, Bones stopped his wailing and burrowed into Spike's chest. A few minutes later, the kitten fell asleep, still attached to the silk shirt.
Spike tried to pry the kitten off his clothes, but there was no way to do so without waking the thing up.
"Those damn kitten claws are bloody strong," murmured Spike. Finding no escape from The Kitten Claws of Doom, Spike settled down on the chair and fell asleep.
Jumping Dusters and Crazy Kittens by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (2/?)
Disclaimer: Don't let me fool you, although I may wish to own these characters, the sad truth is that I don't have enough
money or even enough ideas to own them. *sigh* Such is my existence.
Author's notes: I'm sorry for the un-formatted-ness of my other chapter, but I hadn't quite grasped the concept of HTML quite yet...
I think I got the jist of it though...
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Spike was awoken early the next morning by a deep rumbling in his stomach. After blindly seeking the refrigerator and opening the door, Spike took out a packet of dark red blood.
After draining the bag, Spike suddenly remembered his furry companion.
"Bones?" Spike said as he started searching frantically for the kitten. "Bones? Bones, you idiotic piece of vermin, where the bloody hell are you?" Spike started insulting the kitten blatantly, not realizing that it might discourage the kitten from appearing.
Suddenly, Spike's duster started running across the floor. A small, kitten-shaped lump had formed in the middle of the jacket. The vampire slowly stalked up to the moving piece of leather and immediately pounced on the lump in the middle.
Spike started wrestling with the jumping duster until both the blonde and the cat collapsed on the floor, exhausted.
After he had regained some of his energy, Spike plucked the kitten from his duster and placed the animal on his stomach.
"Feisty lil' bugger, you are," Spike panted, scratching Bones' head affectionately. Soon, the kitten started meowing loudly and rubbing his head none-too-gently against the vamp's stomach. After the mewing got louder and his stomach started becoming raw, Spike realized what the problem was.
"Oh... You must be hungry, eh?" said Spike as he started to get up from the floor. Instead of hopping off his stomach, Bones locked his tiny claws onto the silk shirt covering Spike's stomach and held onto the material with all his kitten might.
Spike tried in vain to disengage Bones' claws from his favorite shirt, but the young cat held fast. Sighing, Spike made his way over to the fridge, kitten still attached to his front.
"I swear, if anyone sees me like this..."
After finding a can of tuna in the fridge, Spike opened the lid and dumped its contents into a spare bowl. The kitten detached himself from the vamp ("Ahh, finally!") and sniffed the tuna. Bones didn't touch the fish and instead started meowing helplessly.
Looking at the kitten in perplexity, Spike tried to think why his new houseguest wasn't eating. Scratching the bleach blond curls that were his hair, Spike said, "I gotta learn more about cats..."
Still looking up sadly at his companion, Bones started rubbing his head on Spike's pant leg.
"Best get you to someone who knows cats," Spike muttered.
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"Red!" Spike shouted, trying to to stomp out the flames emanating from the blanket. After the flames were out, Spike reached into his pocket and pulled out a shaking kitten. Bones was hardly singed, save for a few whiskers at the end of his nose.
Willow finally appeared at the top of the stairs, looking disheveled. Her red hair was astray and her shirt was buttoned strangely.
"Spike! What are you doing here?" exclaimed Willow. She saw Bones and added, "With a cat of all creatures?"
Spike searched for an answer. "Well...Red, ya see...it's quite funny, actually, see, I was walkin' down the alley last night and I hear this lil' mewin'...and...and...here he is."
Willow raised an eyebrow at Spike who was playing with the kitten distractedly.
"Willow! Where are you?" said a voice from the top of the stairs. Tara suddenly appeared at the stairs, wearing only a white sheet.
Looking at the pair, who were exchanging loving glances, Spike coughed loudly.
If you're gonna start salivatin' over each other, I suggest you tell me now," said Spike. Looking at the two suggestively, he added, "Unless you wanna give us a show..."
At the two girls' glares, Spike mumbled, "Guess not..."
Bones, feeling forgotten, mewed at Spike and rubbed his head against Spike's.
"Right then, Bones isn't eating. I tried to feed him tuna and just snubbed it."
Willow looked thoughtful. "Hmm. How old is he?"
"3 months at the most."
"You tried to feed tuna to a kitten!?"
Spike tried to look nonchalant as he answered, "What's wrong 'bout that?"
Willow stared at him for awhile. Tara, who had left a few moments earlier and re-appeared fully dressed, answered for her.
"You can't feed tuna to kittens. They won't digest it well."
Spike looked at his hand. "So what do you suppose I should feed 'im then?"
"Wet kitten food from a pet store. You can get some near the Magic Box."
Spike muttered a quick thanks, picked up his basket, and rushed out the door.
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Reviews appreciated and will make me work faster... (hint, hint)
What's that burning smell? by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (3/?)
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon, etc..etc..Giant monkeys shall devour your spouse if you dare try and take these characters...blah, blah...
Author's Notes: Well. Here it is. The third chapter. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to review- YOU GUYS ROCK!!! Their LOVELY reviews have inspired me to get this chapter up much faster than I would have originally. That goes to show you- Reviews really DO work!!
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It was evening before they arrived back at the crypt, cans of kitten food in Spike's hand.
Bones was so hungry by then, he had eaten a part of Spike's jeans pocket. Needless to say, it hadn't stayed with him very long.
After cleaning the mess, Spike took out a bowl and dumped a can of kitten food into it. Wrinkling his nose at the smell of the brown substance, Spike wished that he had just given the cat a bowl of milk like the old days.
After scarfing down the lumps of food, Bones' hunger finally sated and he let out a tiny burp.
By that time, Spike was so worn out that he collapsed onto the leather chair and instantly fell asleep.
Following Spike's example, Bones hopped onto the vamp's leg and crawled up Spike's jeans until he curled up on Spike's stomach.
One snore was mixed with a tiny whistling breath and both cat and vampire were out.
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Spike awoke early the next morning by a strange smell. After sniffing the air for a bit, he was faintly aware of a slight burning sensation coming from his hand.
Turning his head to look at the alleged appendage, he saw that his hand was in a patch of sunlight and was on fire.
Leaping up from his position on the chair, SPike started vlowing on the flames emanating from his hand. After he succeeded only in making the flames larger, Spike found Bones' bowl of water. Without a second thought, Spike stuck his hand in Bones' drinking source. The water doused the flames and the vampire sighed in relief. When the pain subsided and Spike's supernatural healing powers kicked in, he finally took his hand out of the bowl.
As Spike sauntered over to his fridge in search of an ice pack, he neglected to notice Bones napping in the sunlight and stepped on the kitten's tail. Yowling in pain, Bones awoke abruptly and started hissing.
Spike apologized to the kitten, who just walked off haughtily, tail high in the air. Shaking his head at the absurdity of him apologizing to the animal, Spike continued his quest for an ice pack. Finally locating his freezer and a blue ice bag, Spike sat himself down in front of the TV and began watching "Passions".
Letting himself get absorbed in the cliché world of soap operas, he never noticed his crypt door opening and a petite blond letting herself in.
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A/N: Sorry it's so short! I have homework! I promise I'll have more tommorow!
Confrontations by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (4/?)
Disclaimer: Do we REALLY have to go over this again? Ugh. Fine- CHARACTERS NO MINE- BELONG TO JOSS-Y WHEDON. Comprendé?
Author's Notes: I know how terribly disapointed everyone was with my INCREDIBLY SHORT CHAPTER FROM HEEEELLL!!! But it was necessary. All stories must have a cliffhanger somewhere, right?
// Denotes Spike's thoughts
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Seeing that the vamp was preoccupied, Buffy grasped the situation as the perfect oppurtunity to scare Spike out of his wits.
She crept down the dusty stairs with the silence of a mouse whose mouth had been fastened shut by duct tape.
When reaching the bottom of the stairs, Buffy's foot slipped and hit the stone, making a slight noise. She glanced at Spike, who was still basking in the fake glow of the TV, and continued to make her way to the couch.
Suddenly, Bones launched himself in the air and landed in front of Buffy, yowling and hissing. Buffy was not expecting an attack and let out a yelp of surprise.
Disturbed by the commotion, Spike snapped out of his TV haze and whirled around to face the pair.
At first, Spike just turned back around. //If I turn around again, she'll be gone.//
When he looked at Buffy again, he found that she was not a desperate figure of his imagination, but was the living, breathing Buffy.
Buffy was still dumb-struck, standing frozen in the corner at a safe distance from the hissing cat and the soap-obsessed vampire.
//Oh, shit,// Spike thought. //Caught red-handed.//
"Bones, it's okay," said Spike, uncertainly, "Buffy's...a...a...well, not friend, but aquaintance. Quit your yowlin'."
Buffy stared at the kitten, who had stopped hissing, and back at Spike before asking, "Spike. Why in the name of HELL do you have a CAT in your CRYPT?!"
Spike tried to search for an answer that would prevent wood from being embedded into his heart, yet could not find one.
"Er...This furball..uh...found his way to the crypt and started yowlin' until I let him in. And...now he...won't leave."
//Well, close enough to the truth, innit?//
Buffy looked skeptical.
"Are you sure that's what happened? 'Cause NOT convinced here."
Spike sighed. He obviously was going to have to tell some kind of truth now.
"Fine. Some demons I was playin' kitten poker with ate the kittens when they won. I took pity on this 'un and decided to take him here. Now Bones is with me- TO STAY," he emphasized, trying to ensure that the girl heard clearly.
Buffy just stared at him in astonishment.
"You're trying to tell me that you took in the cat by your own free will?" Buffy asked incredelously. "Somehow, your other explanationn was easier to believe."
Spike was growing EXTREMELY annoyed at Buffy's ignorance.
"Shouldn't you be happy? I should be bloody supported! At least I'm not roasting him over an open fire or slittin' people's throats!"
"I just find it hard to believe, is all."
"You should learn to have a little faith in peple, Slayer. What I'm doing is good and it bothers you 'cause that's not how it's supposed to work. I'm supposed to be a vicious killer. Guess what- I don't want to kill. You just want to keep believing that I'm a bad guy to prevent yourself from lovin' me. Well fine. Keep denyin' it. Soon, it's gonna come back to haunt you, Slayer. Enjoy your dilusions while you can."
Buffy was shocked by Spike's outburst and could only manage a weak, "That's not true, Spike..."
By that time, Spike was about to rip anyone's head off who even came remotely close to him.
"I'm goin' to give you to the count of three, Slayer. By the time I open my eyes, you should be gone."
The Slayer managed to give Spike an apologetic look before slipping out the crypt door.
By the time Spike counted to three and opened his eyes, the only inhabitant in the crypt (besides himself) was Bones, who looked as confused as Buffy had.
"I need a bourbon," said Spike, heading over to the fridge. When he saw that his alcohol supply was empty, he added-
"Make that six."
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A/N: Sorry to all the people who were hoping for Spuffy goodness- I PROMISE that'll come later on! (Please don't kill me! I have a family! NO! PLEASE!)
Bars, Hangovers, and Purring by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (5/?)
Disclaimer: Well. You really must be blind. Joss Whedon SUE if me no put his NAME on work.
Author's Notes: Ahh. The drunkeness. Don't we just love it? Keep those reviews coming guys!
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Willy's was smokier than usual. Demons of every shape, size, and smell (they were all fairly ripe) gathered under the dim lights.
When the bar door swung open and Spike stepped in, little attention was paid to him. All the creatures seemed to be pretty self-absorbed at that moment.
Spike swaggered up to the bar and signaled Willy, who seemed surprised to see the vamp.
"Well. YOU certainly haven't been here in a while. I enjoyed the not-getting-threatened-for-a-free-drink. It was peaceful," Willy said, wiping a shot glass on the side of his towel and filling it with amber liqour, which he gave to Spike.
Spike drank it quickly, wincing once, and handed the empty glass back to Willy for a refil.
"Love troubles?" Willy asked, obviously not interested.
"Worse," Spike replied. "Kitten troubles."
Willy's curiosity piqued and he asked, "What would a master vampire be doing with a kitty-cat?"
Spike sighed. Was this man going to get his drink in this millenia?
"Look mate, can I have my drink? Then I'll tell you."
Willy quickly poured the amber liquid into a shot glass and passed it over to Spike's waiting hand.
The bleached blonde knocked this one back easily, set the glass down on the bar, and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.
That being done, Spike turned back to the barkeeper and started the story as promised.
"So I'm invited to play kitten poker, right? Bein' the guy to accept invitations, I go. I didn't think much of it at the time, they were just worthless animals- I've killed worse. Anyhow, I play and bein' the champion I am, my hand's a winner and I plunk it down on the table.
'Gimme my prize' I said. So they hand me a kitten. I was smiling at everyone, happy that I had bested the bastards, but one look into those kitten-eyes and I was hooked."
"So you took it home, huh?" finished Willy.
"Yup. Cutest lil' bugger I ever cam across. You know what I named him?"
"Uhh...no..."
"Bones. Good name isn't it?"
Willy just nodded, trying not to anger the slightly drunk vampire.
"So anyhow," Spike continued, "The Slayer finds out about Bones. But she's not thrilled, oh no. She almost brings out the stake on me, determined to end it once and for all. I say a few words at her, get annoyed and tell her to leave. Then I came here."
Spike asked for a few more drinks, which he knocked back as easily as the one before.
Always love troubles, thought Willy.
Spike leaned close to WIlly and said with alcohol breath, "Ya mind not tellin' anyone 'bout the cat? Dun want my re-, my repu-, my reputaschion to be ruined."
Willy just grinned maliciously and answered,
"No problem."
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By the next morning, everyone in the demon world knew about Bones.
Spike didn't particularly know this fact, nor would he have cared at the moment, for his head felt as if someone put it through a meat grinder.
When Bones meowed his hunger, Spike had to suffle over to the fridge and take out a can of kitten food.
After missing the bowl by a mile and dumping it on the floor, Spike shuffled back to the couch and collapsed again.
The kitten wasn't about to eat off the floor, so he was going to mew again. But when he saw Spike's face wrinkled up in pain and his pitiful moans, the kitten knew that now Spike needed him and wandered over.
Out of his hangover-haze, Spike could see the kitten purring against his leg and picked up the furball. The purring soothed the headache and he felt relaxed.
Then Spike did the strangest thing. He himself started purring along with the cat. He tried to stop but found that the harder he tried, the harder the rumbling seemed to sound.
Finally, Spike felt totally relaxed and started to fall asleep.
The purring didn't cease.
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A/N: I feel exceptionally joyful today and want to give you all a preview of the next chapter.
//Buffy was about to wake Spike in order to apologize when her heart suddenly lept.
It was the cutest sight she had ever seen.//
Hehehe. Okay. That was more than a little evil. Well, till next time dear readers...
A Tender Moment by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (6/?)
Disclaimer: A little devil told me to take these characters as my own, but I just flicked it away and told it that they belonged to Joss Whedon. Dammit.
Author's Notes: I know you must be thinking something along the lines of, WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG YOU BBEEEEEEEPPPP!!?? Well. The answer is that I have, like so many other unfortunate people in this world, homework to do and I have other obligations. I will try to make sure that chapters are completed more quickly in the future.
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*Okay* Buffy thought, Staring at the heavy crypt door. *Just go in there and say you're sorry. No prob, right?* Urgh! This was going to do some MAJOR damage to her pride.
Taking a deep breath and counting to three, Buffy opened the crypt door. The Slayer crept inside, feeling disoriented by the silence.
*Maybe he's out* she thought. *Ah, well*
She was about to walk out the door again when she head a strange rumbling sound coming from the couch.
*Don't tell me his couch is broken too*
As she approached the piece of furniture, she could see a tuft of white-blond hair peeking out from behind the leather.
*Oh. There he is.*
She was about to wake Spike up when she caught sight of Spike and the kitten. It was the cutest picture she had ever laid eyes on.
Spike had the kitten curled up in his arms, looking loved and happy. Spike wore a content smile also and when Buffy came closer to the chair, she could hear the rumbling get louder.
*Is he...Purring?*
Sure enough, as she knelt down on the crypt floor, she heard the rumbling get louder.
*Wow. Could he always do that?*
She placed a tentative hand on Spike's silk-covered chest and felt the vibrations.
Suddenly, Spike grabbed Buffy's hand and said, "Anything you need, luv?"
"Er...um...I...er...there...was...," she stammered.
"So...you're just here to check on my chest?"
Buffy flushed and answered, "I came here to apologize."
The vampire looked surprised. "Well, this certainly is a first!"
//Prepare to grovel, Slayer//
Buffy took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry for not supporting you with the kitten. I know you won't kill him or eat him or drown him or anything. Actually, you probably have the best relationship with a cat that I've ever seen."
Spike raised a scarred eyebrow. //Should I make her suffer?//
Bones chose that moment of silence to approach the Slayer, seeking friendship.
Bones nudged his head against Buffy's boot and meweled.
"Pick 'im up," said Spike. "He likes you."
Buffy scooped the kitten up carefully in her arms and pet him on his furry head.
To Buffy's amazement, Bones started purring blissfully.
"Cats don't usually like me. Wow."
Spike looked on adoringly at his kitten and his slayer. She looked absolutely goddess-like standing there with the cat.
"Well," Spike said in a voice he hoped remained passive. "You could take care of 'im when I need it."
Buffy's eyes lit up, as a child's would after being offered a piece of candy.
"Of course I will."
Caught up in the moment, Buffy ran over to Spike and gave him a big hug. The vampire, slightly embarrassed, just patted the blond's back.
Just then, the door was kicked open, interrupting the moment.
Sharkie appeared, with several of his minions.
"Hear you have a kitten here," he said.
Spike narrowed his eyes. "What of it?"
Sharkie whistled and a few of his minions advanced on Spike and the Slayer.
"Since you have decided not to *ehem* use the kitten, we'll just be taking it."
"Over my dusted body!" Spike exclaimed.
"That can be arranged," Sharkie said, smiling deviously.
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A/N: Ahhh... the sweet suspense. I'm so evil. Hehehe.
The Fight Starts by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (7/?)
Disclaimer: I wish I had a Spikebot... Hey! Don't call me crazy! You were thinking it too! Too bad he belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon.
Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so long! I'm a bad bad updater :-( . BTW, if there's another name for Sharkie (I didn't really know his "Official" title) PLEASE tell me!!
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Spike jumped to defend his companion, who was crouched in the corner, trying to look vicious. Buffy stood by Spike, ready to battle it out. Spike saw her and gave the Slayer a grateful nod.
The first two minions rushed to get past the duo, but were knocked down by a boot to the head by the Slayer and a gut punch from Spike.
Buffy flipped the vamp over her head and pinned him under her arm. The minion was, unfortunately, quite determined. His leg shot up suddenly and caught Buffy in the stomach. She briefly let go of the vampire before regaining her momentum and charging back in.
Soon, two clouds of dust shrouded the fighters as the minions were introduced to stakes. Spike looked around to check on Bones but found that the kitten wasn't in his corner.
Sharkie gave Spike a toothy grin. "Got what we came for," he said, gesturing to the kitten in his coat pocket.
Spike started to go after Sharkie but was held back by another minion. By the time the dust cleared, Sharkie was gone.
Spike looked at the swinging crypt door in disbelief. Buffy was just as shocked. She didn't know how the villan got past them so quickly.
The vampire sank to the floor with his head in his hands, devastated.
"Sorry, Spike," Buffy said, approaching the melancholy Spike.
"Wasn't you fault, luv," Spike said, attempting a shaky smile. "I should've been more careful."
Little memory clips of Spike and Bones together assaulted his memory. Bones' first mouse... Bones' first wreckage of the crypt... Spike chocked back a sob.
Hearing the sound, Buffy embraced Spike once more, offering comfort.
They sat together for a while until Spike lifted his head, looking determined.
"I'm gettin' him back," Spike announced.
"How?"
"I'll do exactly what Sharkie loves to do- play poker and gamble Bones."
Buffy looked unconvinced.
"How are you so sure you'll win, Mr. Positive?"
"Oy! I always win!"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "And what if you DON'T?"
A small smile appeared on Spike's lips. "Easy. I'll just cheat."
She scoffed. "So typical."
"Well, how do you think I got the lil' bugger in the first place? It's certainly not my bravado at cards, luv. Just pure street tricks."
Buffy raised her eyebrow. "So you have no talent at cards whatsoever?"
"I win!" said Spike defensively. "I just like having to do it the easy way."
"Dishonest way, more like," Buffy grumbled.
"Whazzat, luv?" Spike pretended not to hear.
"Nothing. Just get Bones back soon."
"Will do, luv," Spike assured her. "Will do."
"You sure now?" asked Buffy, still not fully convinced.
"I have a backup plan, if that's what you mean. I got it under control, Slayer," Spike said exasperatedly.
Buffy gave him a small smile and nodded. She understood that he could figure it out himself.
She let herself out, breifly flooding the crypt with cool air, and left Spike alone.
"Time to plan."
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A/N: I already have the next chapter written, but can't post it until about Thursday or Friday. Sorry for the brief delay, but I'll try to get it up soon!
Upping the Ante by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (8/10)
Disclaimer: Copyrights suck... I don't have one to these characters...
Author's Note: I have updated as promised, I thank you all for your reviews! They really motivate me (hint, hint). Anyhow, I have an idea of how this story will end and expect it to be 10 chapters. We're nearing the end, fellow readers...
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A/N: Muchas Gracias to my good friend Sarah for teaching me how to play poker! Her patience is commended.
Spike headed to the first place he knew Sharkie and his crew were likely to be- Willy's.
Spike had held Willy at fang-point and demanded to know where the Shark was. The bartender was almost too frightened to move, but at last pointed a shaking finger towards the back room.
Spike dropped Willy, who slumped to the floor, holding his throat.
Sure enough, when the vampire entered the back room, he found that Sharkie had already started a game.
"I want my kitten back," growled Spike, eyes flashing yellow.
Sharkie just chuckled.
"Really," he said. "You and what army?"
Spike rolled his eyes at the old line and answered calmly. "I'll wager with you."
Sharkie's lips curled into a smile.
"What's the stakes?" he asked, fingering the wad of cash in his pocket.
"I win, you gimmie my kitten back and never bother me or Bones again."
"You lose," Sharkie interrupted. "You let me and my crew fight the Slayer- alone."
Spike laughed. "Not much of a prize, eh?"
"I don't believe you understand," the demon replied with and evil glint in his eye. "I have found a way to strip her of her powers. We'll fight as if she was a normal human girl."
The vampire stood up and in a low voice said, "You keep her out this."
Sharkie sighed. "Well... If you really don't WANT your kitten back..."
"No," Spike put out his hand as if to stop him from leaving. "I'll take the bet."
"Excellent," Sharkie said. He sat down and motioned for Spike to do the same.
"I'll deal," he said once they both were seated.
Three cards were placed before the two rivals. Sharkie placed a coin in the pot allowed Spike to follow suit. After the seven cards were dealt out, Spike said, "The big gamble starts now."
Sharkie smiled (again) as he answered, "As you wish."
"Your cards first," Spike said.
Sharkie's everlasting grin got wider. "All the better."
With a flourish, Sharkie flipped over his cards to reveal- a full house.
Spike acted as if he were utterly surprised. "Oh! Good hand, mate!"
He looked at Spike with a smug grin, which drooped when he heard, "But not good enough."
The vampire pluncked his four of a kind down on the poker tabl.
"I believe you owe me a kitten."
It was Sharkie's turn to look surprised. He was about to let Spike have his pet back when he noticed a card sticking out of the pocket of his leather duster.
"You cheated!" Sharkie accused, pointing at Spike.
Spike acted offended. "I did not!"
Just then, the cards that were in Spike's pocket fluttered to the floor around his boots.
Spike looked down at the pile. "How'd that get there..."
Sharkie's minions started growling in what they supposed was a menacing fashion.
He was about to give the order to attack when Spike interrupted.
"Let's play again. I swear on my fangs I won't cheat."
Sharkie was unfazed.
"A vampire's word is not usually trusted."
"What if I up the ante?"
Sharkie looked interested.
"By how much?"
"I win, you give me all the kittens you have and you have to promise never to play again.
"And if I win?"
"You get to either make me one of your drones or stake me."
The everlasting grin appeared again.
"Let's play."
HOW many kittens? by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (9/10)
Author's Notes: Yes. This is the second-to-last chapter in the Furry series. I have already written some of the ending and plan to finish it over the weekend. Also, this is a pretty short chapter- sorry!
Disclaimer: Oh, come on. You've heard this song before. I don't own anything, but if I did then Sarah Michelle Gellar wouldn't be leaving. But I'm not :-( so I guess we'll just have to face the ugly truth...
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Spike had to call Buffy up in order to transport all the kittens back to his crypt.
They climbed all over him, sticking sharp claws into his skin.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch!" Spike yelled when a black kitten decided that he would stick his claws into Spike's chest.
By the time Buffy arrived, Spike looked like The Cat Monster From Hell.
"Spike? Where are you?"
Muffled by kitten fur, Spike could only manage to say, "MMMMMpPPPHHHhh!"
Buffy tracked the sound and ran over to the vampire and started pulling kittens off him.
"Oy! Careful!"
A few minutes later, the Slayer and vampire managed to stuff all of the kittens into two baskets.
"How many kittens did you win anyway?" asked Buffy as the pair made their way to the crypt.
"Er...'bout 20."
"20!? What in the world are you going to do with 20 kittens?"
Spike shrugged. He hadn't really thought about it.
"Dunno," he said. "Probably give most of 'em away."
The kitten in Spike's pocket mewed suddenly. With his free hand, Spike dug around his pocket until he found the animal.
"I got this guy back finally," Spike said, rubbing Bones' head.
The cat mewed in response as if to say, "Glad to see you, too."
They arrived at the crypt and emptied out the baskets on the floor.
20 kittens rushed out of the prisons and started sleeping, fighting, and wrecking precious items.
"Have you decided what to do with the cats, yet?" Buffy asked, watching as yet another candle was mutilated by a wax-loving cat.
"I figure I'll keep two, including Bones, and give away the rest."
Buffy nodded. She saw that the kittens were somewhat settled and turned to leave.
"Er...Slayer?" Spike said almost inaudibly.
"Yes?" she asked, turning around to face him.
"You want one?"
Buffy looked puzzled.
"One what?"
"A kitten 'o course."
The Slayer thought it over and replied, "Sure." Dawn would be thrilled.
Spike's face broke into a grin as he pulled Buffy into the center of the kittens.
"Which one do you want?"
After eliminating two black cats and one striped, Buffy set her heart on an orange-patched one.
"I'll name her... Joyce Jr, after my mom," Buffy decided.
Spike smiled. "It's fitting."
Buffy and Joyce Jr. finally left, content with each other.
After the door was shut and the crypt was void of human life, Spike was left with the task of picking out a cat for himself.
The selection was certainly wide and most of the cats were running around too much to be seen properly. He finally started picking up random cats.
The third one he picked up had abnormally golden fur. It reminded him strongly of someone.
"I'll name you Slayer," Spike told the kitten.
Slayer looked up at Spike and without warning, pounced on his chest.
"Yup," he said, trying to get the struggling kitten off his chest. "Just like a Slayer."
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A/N: YES! I WILL HAVE SPUFFY STUFF NEXT CHAPTER! *Dances happily* See. I told you I would sooner or later.
Cat Clubs and Strange Sayings by vampssuck5605
Title: Furry (10/10)
Disclaimer: You think that as a reward for finishing this story, Joss would give me these characters and full rights to them. Instead, he just yelled something about lawsuits and monkeys... ah, well...
Author's Notes: *Sniff* Yup, I'm really finishing this story. As sad as that is, this is not the last time you shall hear from Sweetnsour560, not nearly! I shall be writing something else for this lovely site (and a few others). Hope your kitten-induced fun haze was enjoyable!
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"I call this meeting of the Scooby Cat Club to order."
"Why does HE get to be president?" whined Xander. Spike just glared at Xander and answered,
"'Cus I'm the one who GAVE the ruddy things to you!"
That shut Xander up promptly. He sat back down, laughing nervously. He just couldn't get why the others were letting this-this- monster keep a cat. He could...mangle it and eat it! Xander sighed. There was just no winning, was there?
"As I was SAYING," Spike continued. "This is the first meeting of the Scooby Cat Club an' since none of you ever told me what you named your pets, we'll go around the table and introduce them."
Tara and Willow were first. They held up a white cat that had uniquely purple eyes.
"This is Sage," Tara proclaimed. Sage looked around the room demurely, as if the others there were unworthy of being in the same zip code as her.
Next came Xander. "Hello. My name is Xander and I'm an alcoholic," he said jokingly. When no one laughed, Xander continued, "My cat's name is Jester." Just as he was about to show the kitten to the group, Xander noticed that the kitten was not on the couch as he left it. Suddenly, Xander felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Giles, who did not seem very happy.
"Is this yours?" he asked, holding out a trembling black and white cat. As soon as Jester was returned to his owner, he started shaking uncontrollably.
"That cat's got problems," Spike muttered to no one in particular.
"My cat's name is Dinero. It means 'money' in Spanish," Anya happily supplied. No one seemed especially surprised at her choice. In fact, the cat did have green eyes, the color of money.
Dawn's cat was a multicolored cat with patches of grey, black, white, and a bit of orange. Her name was Sassy.
Last was Buffy. Even though most people already knew her cat's name, she felt that the introduction was obligatory.
The unusual cat with the golden fur sat on a shelf above the small crowd, looking down at the people with the wonder only a cat can possess.
As Buffy spoke, introducing the cat to the group, Joyce jr. spotted a man standing in the corner by himself.
He was looking at Buffy with a strange look on his face, his smile almost idiotic. His expression screamed "Devotion!".
Yup. That guy was whipped.
When Buffy finally sat down, she felt eyes burning into her back. She instinctively turned around. Her eyes met Spike's and Buffy noticed the intensity of his gaze. She felt her cheeks burn and quickly whipped back around in her chair.
Spike smirked. He felt this was an opportunity he had to grasp.
"Goin' out for a fag," he announced, heading out the back door into the cool night air.
Buffy stood awkwardly and added, "I'm going to...er...check the mail."
When no one offered a complaint, Buffy traipsed to the door and joined Spike outside.
"Bit cold, innit pet?" asked Spike as Buffy entered the cool night air.
"I don't really feel it," she answered, unconsciously rubbing her arms.
Spike saw this action and decided to be chivalrous, something he did not do often.
"Take this," he said, shrugging the duster from his shoulders and handing it to Buffy.
She smiled in thanks and wore the coat. It was too big for her, but did the trick since her shivering, again unnoticed to Buffy, stopped.
The two stood in silence on the porch for a minute, unsure what to say to each other.
Spike broke the spell first.
"Ever look at the stars and wonder how small we are down here?" he asked, looking up at the sky.
"I've thought about it. It's depressing though, and I've got enough of that in my life," she answered.
"Life's a bitch and then you die," said Spike in a sing-song voice.
"So fuck the world and go get high," continued Buffy.
At Spike's strange look, she lamely added, "Even though I've never done that..."
They both shared a laugh.
"You know, things wouldn't be the same without you here," Buffy said suddenly.
"Really?" Spike said, surprised.
"Yeah. More interesting, I guess."
Spike contemplated this. He supposed that that was as much of a complement as he would get.
"You really think that, pet?"
Buffy flushed slightly. For once, she was grateful for the darkness. "Well...what I mean to say...is..."
She didn't get a chance to finish because her mouth was suddenly covered with Spike's. Buffy didn't struggle as Spike expected but instead pulled him closer.
Buffy had never felt this much emotion in her life. She was in heaven and hell at the same time, blissful and at the same time heated.
Suddenly, the two heard a gasp behind them. They quickly broke off their kiss and turned around. They saw the Scoobies, including the cats, standing open-mouthed at the two.
"Er...hey guys..." Buffy offered.
A loud 'Thump' was heard as Xander hit the floor in a dead faint.
THE END
A/N: Is it really...over? Wow. I can't believe it. I FINISHED SOMETHING *does happy dance*. Tell me if you want a sequel/epilogue, I'm not promising anything though :-)
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! YOU GUYS INSPIRED ME SOOO MUCH!!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.