It was bright now and warm all around her. She scarcely remembered the pain of her fall through the proverbial keyhole of dimensions. All that was left now was such a gentle pulsating happiness that filled everything.

She turned herself over reveling in the softness of her bed. Never has a mattress been so soft and squishy yet firm. It was heaven sewn together just for her. The sheet was silken and cool to the touch. Tiny happy shivers ran down her bare skin at the caress of the fabric as she moved her legs around.

Slowly, as if waking from a pleasant dream that was quickly fading away, Buffy opened her eyes.

She gazed about her room and took in the joy of a new day. Out her window Buffy saw blue skies with great big puffy clouds mulling about. Green grass was growing in everyone’s lawn.

Everything was right. Everything was normal.

As she walked to her closet Buffy stopped to look at herself naked in the mirror. Her skin was flawless not a scar or mar to be seen. Nothing at all left to remind her of the ordeal that she no longer even remembered.

Dressed now and stopping once more to look in the mirror to make sure every hair was in place like it should be, Buffy opened her door to go downstairs for breakfast.

“Oh sweetheart I’m glad your awake. I just got done making your favorite breakfast. Please sit down and let me warm up the syrup for you.”

Her mom was always up making Buffy breakfast. It was like she was 5 years old again and though she wasn’t sick it sort of made her feel like something wasn’t right. Not that anything could be wrong of course. As long as she had her mom and her sister everything was right in the world.

It was a simple gift but Buffy really but it seemed like such a very long time that she had a night out with her friends. More than anything she wanted right now to go see how they were doing.

“Buffy dearest you better get going before it gets dark.”

Buffy threw a quick glance out the kitchen window. The sky had gone from blue to a deep golden bronze. The clouds, once white, where mostly yellow with pink outlines from the setting sun. It was probably the best sunset ever seen by anyone. Even the birds beginning to roost chirped happily after the setting sun.

Her mother was right; it was the perfect time to go out to The Bronze with the whole gang. They were probably already all there waiting for her. Willow and Tara sitting in the comfy couch exchanging ideas for fun spells. Xander and Anya sitting at one of the raised tables debating whether Darth Vader or the Easter bunny would win a wrestling match. Giles sitting comically in the corner trying to read a book over the din of whatever band was hired for the night.

She paused just long enough to finish her pancakes before letting her mom and sister walk her to the front door. Over her shoulder Buffy looked back to their smiling faces as they waved goodbye. Buffy smiled and blew them a kiss and walked down the quickly darkening drive.

The sun had just completely set and a beautiful nighttime breeze picked up the savory smells of the town around her. Fresh cut grass, just cooked dinners wafting out the windows and something that caught her attention enough to stop her from her pleasantly downhill walk.

Cigarette smoke.

“How come you never come see me in the day time?” She inquired to seemingly no one.

A tall handsome man jumped down from a tree nearby. He wore all black. His hair a rather violent shade of white compared to his dark clothing. In his hand he held a cigarette, just lit. It always seemed like he had fresh cigarettes.

“Well I’m a vampire luv. Got some sort of aversion to that big sparkly thing. Besides I don’t think I’d look good in a tan anyway.”

“Ooh a vampire? Shouldn’t I be scared of you then? Big bad fangy monsters aren’t good for us little girls out here in the dark.”

Buffy put on her most adorable innocent face and looked into the big soulful eyes of her undead companion.

“Bugger that, you could break me in half before I’d hurt you. You know that. Nothing can hurt you here Buffy.”

She giggled a little at him. He tilted his head to the side and smiled real big at her. He loved her laugh. It was pure music to his ears. He loved how she could feel so comfortable around him and he felt at peace around her.

The breeze blew a lock of her hair out from behind Buffy’s ear. Spike leaned in brushed it back for her. His cool hand sent another ripple of electricity down her spine and she leaned into his hand partly for balance partly because she wanted more of him.

He was all to willing to comply. He pushed his hand through her blonde to the back of her head where he pulled her in gently to his chest. His other arm came around to hold onto the small of her back partially lifting her into him. It was the pure definition of a hug. Her whole body felt him around her yet inside she yearned for more.

As if completely on the same wavelength, the tall vampire kissed her on the forehead and pulled away from her just enough to open the door of the car near by.

“How about go somewhere a little more indoors pet.”

Pouting a little but not really upset Buffy allowed him to let go and open the car door for her. She got in without a fuss and watched him round the car to get in himself.

The drive was unbelievably short before they had arrived at his crypt. Inside it was just as dusty as she imagined it would be. A vampire lair is never complete without a big coffin and a generous helping of dust and cobwebs after all. Holding her hand Spike led her through the less dusty parts of the upper level of the room to the back where down a ladder was the true living area.

Though his heart may not have beat in over 100 years the romance Spike put in the room downstairs took Buffy’s breath away. Thousands of candles were lit along the walls and covered windows. They covered the tables where there weren’t any rose petals scattered about. A path of the petals led the way from the ladder to a bed on the floor against the far wall. And soft music classical music played from a record player in the corner.

Leading her on still making sure she enjoyed the sight yet didn’t catch her beautiful white dress on fire Spike led her to the black satin covered bed. She looked up into his eyes then. Her left hand reached up to trace a line around his face. Steadily it flowed down to his lips where he gently kissed her finger. It flowed down to his neck where it met up with his shirt.

Buffy, never taking her eyes off of his, pushed off his duster from his shoulders. It was far to warm even for such a nice looking coat. It fell to the floor in a pile at their feet and became unnoticed. She reached up with both her hands lifting his shirt up over his head until she could reach no further past his elbows. She took a moment to kiss him passionately along a line on his neck while he was stuck. Her gentle sucking drove him wild.

With infinitely patience Spike stood there and let himself be played with. Nothing would have made him stop her from her game. It was bliss for him as much as it was enjoyable for her. Her body’s warmth up against him made him feel alive once more. He had been dead so long.

Tired of her own horribly slow game Buffy gave into the animal force driving her inside to continue. She pulled his shirt off the rest of the way and used her lips to attack his. The force of her lust sent them both falling onto the soft satin sheets of Spike’s bed. She straddled him between her thighs almost daring him to try and run away but knowing he would have nothing of that. She unbuttoned her dress on top of him slowly swaying to the soft music in the background.

He reached up lightly stroking her thighs, going up along her hips and waist, and still upward to the curve of her breasts. For a moment he stopped, and teased her nipples with his thumbs through the fabric of her bra but continued his upward journey till he met her shoulders where he pulled down the sleeves of the dress.

Buffy felt didn’t care that her dress fell into a bunch around her waist. She was lost in the moment of pure joy being nearly exposed to the man beneath her. Slowly, she reached down and stroked his sides, dipped in to pinch his nipples playfully. She smiled and reached up unclasping her bra.

His eyes didn’t look down at first. He wanted to make sure there was no hesitation or fear in her before he took in the sight of her half naked body. She smiled at him and leaned forward to hold onto his wrists above his head. Her breasts swayed down over his face and he took a moment to kiss and suck onto a nipple.

An animalistic moan escaped her mouth and she could take it no more. Buffy reached down and unfastened his belt, then his pants. Everything was so clear and sharp every sense of hers was tingling. His cool skin touching under her. His deep caring eyes looking at her, pleading with her to continue. His steady breathing matching her own perfectly. She pulled down his pants along with what dress she still had on.

“Flowers pet?”

Buffy looked down at the last scrap of clothing remaining. They were her favorite cotton panties printed with bright colorful flowers straight from the psychedelic sixties. They seemed so ludicrous right now.

She pushed forward a bit on top of him grinding down on his completely naked body on purpose before slipping off her underwear. The friction caused an already aroused Spike to spike up even more. All of the candles must have contributed to the warmth of his body because when she backed down he entered her and it was like en explosion of heat inside her body.

A gasp, a moan and sigh and escaped her lips all at once. A look of pure surprise and ecstasy painted across her face. No one had ever filled her so completely perfect like that. He made her feel complete. Warm. Loved. Everything was good and loving here and he just multiplied it by infinity.

His arms entwined around her pulling himself deeper inside of her. His body and hers writhed passionately for what seemed like days. Moans of lust drowned out the music. They were constantly rubbing and caressing each other. Long and slow powerful thrusts gave way to franticness. The walls were closing in. The lights becoming dimmer. The only thing either could sense was one another. Their passion seemed limitless. Intense, powerful emotion suddenly erupted in Buffy and she screamed with it.

Buffy awoke and it was dark. She couldn’t feel Spike beside her. As if it were all a dream she began to forget little pieces. Was she with Spike? Were they in his crypt? Where was she?

Buffy panicked. She tried to move but found she was in a small box. It was lined with soft dull material. Oh god she was in a coffin. Was she dead? She did the only thing she could do, claw her way out.

Buffy clawed her way through the coffin. Everything around her was dull and blurry. She hardly felt the dry earth of her grave falling in on her. It seemed like just moments ago she was warm and safe and happy.

She had no idea how she got buried under so much dirt. She burrowed up and up, the soil grinding its way slowly into her hands meeting up with bone and splinters. She felt no pain all her senses were still numb. She hoped when she broke the surface it would be her warm Sunnydale and she could run back into the arms of her mother or Spike.

Dramatically her hand burst through the grass above her. She pulled her mucked up self out of the hole and crawled around a little unsure why she felt so weak and vulnerable. It was dark out though she sensed hazy warm glows in the shadow. She sought out the flickering glows around her stumbling along after them as if in a dream.

It was so cold everywhere except near the fires. They reminded her of Spike’s crypt. Every time she approached a burning bit of whatever she saw a bigger warmer one. Eventually she stumbled into town. It wasn’t anything like she remembered it just being. Everything was grey and crumbled. Fire was alight in many of the windows. Roofs of shops were collapsing.

It got louder and brighter in town. Seemed like all the shops downtown were on fire. Car sirens were going off everywhere. In a parking lot was a great bonfire of debris. A group of surly looking men were whooping and hollering in celebration. Buffy walked toward them in a daze to see what in such a horrible place might be a scene of good.

In front of her was an oddly familiar girl all chained up. The leader of the group was giving some sort of speech that riled up the masses. Something about claiming town. Her senses were slowly coming back to her. She saw the men were really something else. They were something more hideous. Their skin was all defiled and torn and tattooed. Bits of metal studs were holding back folds of red flesh on their faces giving them a gruesome form. They were her definition of demon to her.

The chained girl looked just like Buffy. It confused her. Why would she also be in hell? Was this a horrible dimension where she already existed? The crowd became more frantic at the leader’s words. A gunshot went off and all a sudden her double seemed very scared. Motorcycles revved their engines and their back tired screeched the pavement before going off in different directions. At the last minute Buffy noticed the chains on the other Buffy’s arms and legs were attached to the speeding off vehicles.

“NO!”

The gang turned round at the interloper. At first they seemed confused at the sudden feminine outburst since their entire race was male. Upon seeing Buffy they thought she was just another toy to add to their devious amusement.

“Another one for the fire boys!”

Buffy’s confused terror caused her to flee down an alley nearby. Instinct quickly took over as two bikers carrying chain flails gave chase behind. One sped up around her and suddenly she was between the hostile demons. In the nick of time her forgotten slayer senses took over and she ducked under their attack. Both chains wrapped around the necks of the demons causing them their motorcycles to collide into each other. Both demons landed in a thud on the pavement and of all things apologized to one another.

She felt so alone then. She may have been home she wasn’t sure but she was so alone. She missed her friends. She missed her mom and her sister. She missed her romantic surprise visits from Spike and falling asleep in his arms every night and waking up to pancakes. She missed the safety of her recent life where she didn’t need to run from horrible faced demons down dark alleys wearing very unstylish dresses. She felt like this was hell. Maybe not hell as the one she sent Angel to but it was certainly not pleasant.

The alley led into a dead end. Hellions still behind her she did this amazing high jump over the chain link fence ahead of her. She landed rather ungracefully on the other side surprising a group of people. Blinking she saw that they looked like her old friends. It was almost too much for her to bear. This world was so different and so horrible. She froze to the spot not knowing if here they would be her friends or new enemies.

“Its-it’s the Buffy-bot”

“Ahh peachy no doubt to lead the wild bunch right to us again. Hey Will next time this thing is damaged cant you program it to go to the nearest Radio Shack or something?”

Here her friends thought she was a thing just like the Buffy-bot back before she came back from seeing the first one. Back before she jumped off…jumped off the tower to save Dawn! Was this reality? Where was she before? She was so confused.

“Buffy—?“

Frantically, she bolted down the alley and hid behind some crates. She didn’t want reality. She was safe and warm and so happy where she was. Now she was back. More than anything to return back home to her mother and Spike. Her friends chased after her and she could tell that they were trying to talk to her but it made no difference. The only thing she could think about. The only thing that they said that registered in her mind was Xander’s confession that they brought her back to life and had left her in her coffin to claw her way out. What friends did she have here? If they brought her back maybe it was possible to return to where she was. Hopefully her mom would be waiting with fresh dinner on the table and Spike ready with hot chocolate to sip near the fireplace while they cuddle when she was done.

She hated her friends then. Loved them for trying but still seething inside for what they did. She could hear them trying to say sorry but she tuned them out. She was too depressed to even roll her eyes at Anya’s failed attempt at changing the subject.
“Buffy it’s going to be all right. We brought you back. You’re home now.”

Looking up at Xander she couldn’t help but wonder if she thought he did her a favor. Home was where one felt safe. Here she barely felt alive. Everything was dark and dull and cruel. The alley stunk of blood and burning wood and hot metal. Evil demons looking like their faces falling off were slowing walking down the alley listening to her so called friends trying to talk.

Both groups exchanged some empty threats at one another. The Scoobies’s were a little on the weaker side to be sure. Tara cast a bright fiery magic trick at the lead demon. It wasn’t much it only reaffirmed her conclusion that her resurrection was the doing of Willow. Talking lead to posturing. Posturing led to blows. Buffy’s friends were soon to be on the ill end of a massacre. She could of let them suffer and run off but years of faithful friendship and seeing an unconscious Willow brought back some of the fighting spirit back to Buffy.

If this was reality her mom was already dead but she hadn’t seen Dawn or Spike. If the demons had something to do with that shed make sure to pull out all of their piercings one by one to make them suffer. All this talking about how they were going to have fun with them but warnings about how their anatomy tended to tear up little girls struck to close to her fears about what might have happened to her sister.

She walked up to the leader. His ill conceived ego oozed off of him when he took at swing at her. It hit. She didn’t even defend herself for it. Thinking the whole fight was going to go his way he swung again only to be knocked down hard by the angry slayer.

The whole gang began to fight. Willow groggily woke up and tried to fend off an attacker with a crossbow but it was like shooting toothpicks at a giant. At one point she felt five attackers dully beating at her and yet she prevailed. Her friends made good for mopping up but she owned this fight. She took out her rage on their bodies. Each blow landed on her was just reaffirming her hatred at this place. Heaven held no pain.

When the battle was done Buffy took stock of her new wounds. Her mouth throbbed with pain. She reached up and lifted some blood from her seeping lip. Blood. Blood was the key like Dawn was the key. Her blood was the same as Dawns letting her sacrifice from the top of that tower saved them all and brought her into that world of pure love and joy.

She ran back out of the alley and killed another demon on the way. Seeing his blood ooze out of his wound with the tower in the distance just reaffirmed her plan. She ran to the base of it and looked up. It didn’t seem so scary and tall this time around. She had no sister to save only one to return to. Dawn was probably dead here.

At the top Buffy could feel the tower sway and lurch in the breeze. She looked off the platform where Dawn was once chained and went over the whole thing again in her head. The blood drops. The portal opening. Talking to Dawn and her sister pleading for her not to go.
‘Buffy no’
‘Dawnie I have to’

“Buffy no”

Blinking, not sure whether she imagined Dawn’s voice again or if it was real, Buffy turned and saw her sister holding onto the side of the tower. She was okay. She was safe on top of this precarious tower and her look of utter amazement told her she had nothing to do with her return. Buffy was so close to heaven again she could feel it. Even through Dawn’s pleading once more the jump was all too enticing.

The tower gave sickening lurches and groans as Dawn edged her way closer to Buffy trying to get her to come away from the ledge. She was so confused. Her sister’s incessant pleading with her slowly grated on her already frazzled nerves.

“Is this hell?”

Dawn continued to plead for her to come back. Talked about how hard it was for her here. She didn’t know how everything was so shiny and clear when she was gone.

The tower gave a great creak then parts of the structure fell off and Dawn fell to her knees for balance shrieking and afraid. Buffy may have been in heaven but she loved her sister very much and would live in this hell for Dawn. And if she were alive perhaps there was hope that Spike was too.

With the tower continuing to buckle under them Buffy grabbed onto Dawn and jumped off the side hoping to climb down the rope but it was stuck. She gave a few downward jerks when all a sudden they were falling all to fast. Thankfully it broke along with most the rest of the tower stopping their fall not to far from the ground. When it broke it was a shock but not so death defying at the platform would have been on the top.

They both ran off as the whole tower collapsed in one final crash. They stopped outside the construction area to catch their breath. Dawn was in more shock than Buffy was and gave her a big tight hug. Wet tears fell down on Buffy’s shoulder. For the first time all night Buffy didn’t feel so alone. Her friends had betrayed her but her sister was here in her arms warm and alive. In all her time in heaven she couldn’t actually recall really seeing Dawn. It was assumed she was there but the only people she ever talked to was her mom and Spike.

Even home didn’t quite seem the same. The flowers outside were poorly tended to. The lawn was brown and covered with debris. Mom wasn’t around and more to keep everything nice and beautiful but it was a start. Her bed awaited her inside and upstairs. It was dark inside though like everything else. When Dawn turned on a light it hurt her eyes as unnatural and cold though better than the dreary dark. The light showed that not everything was the same anymore.

Though definitely home things had changed. It wasn’t like she remembered it before she jumped nor from whatever realm she was in with her mom. There were more chairs for one. Apparently Willow and Tara had been living here in her mother’s room. They added their feminine touch to everything trying to over compensate the festivity of the place after Buffy’s death.

She saw a picture of her mother and almost broke down missing her. She didn’t cry but Dawn could feel Buffy’s dark mood get even more somber and led her upstairs to get changed and cleaned up. Dawn tried to make cute jokes but all they did was remind her even more of mom. She was firm in her decision to stay for Dawn’s sake but it didn’t mean she had to like it. Not a single soul who she met said a thing about Spike.

In heaven they were in love their souls felt entwined and intermingled but she knew in the world she left behind, the world she was in now, she hadn’t been so kind to him. The whole gang looked down on him. Even though he had earned most of their respect in her final days she was fairly sure that if he were dead she and Dawn would be the only ones who would remotely miss him.

Buffy couldn’t stand standing in the bathroom any long and went to check on the rest of the house. She went to her mom’s room and was inwardly aghast at the changes. Willow and Tara had moved into her mother’s room and nothing was the same. It seemed more right though than moving into her own room but still it was like waking up one day to see your mom missing and two people taking her place.

“Wh-what else is different?”

She couldn’t bring herself exactly to ask openly if Spike was dead or alive hoping the open ended question would make Dawn mention something if he were and not know how much she cared. Dawn said something about Giles leaving. If that was the biggest news Spike had to be somewhere.

Suddenly a door had opened in the house. Buffy feared the demons might have come back. She was in enough emotional pain and didn’t need to get in another fist fight.

“Dawn! Dawn are you here?!”

Spike! It was Spike and he was here coming into the house. His invite was still standing he hadn’t done anything in her absence to rile up the Scoobie gang into banning him again. Finally someone was here that she had in heaven. Her nights with him still stood vivid in her mind and though it wasn’t possible she imagined she could smell his deep musky scent already.

She looked down she was a mess still but she wanted to make sure it was really him and not her heart playing trick on her in this horrible place. Slowly she crept down the stairs behind dawn. There he was just as she remembered him in both realities. Tall, godlike in his handsomeness, wearing his black shirt and pants and leather coat. Spike was mad at Dawn for running off and Dawn tried to explain but it was too late Spike saw her.

They were both speechless. Spike blubbered a little asking what Dawn did to bring her back. It nearly brought Buffy to tears to know that he too had nothing to do with her return but seeing him alive (well mostly) was just another reason she wanted to stay here. She was dead. If this was reality he was the real Spike.

Buffy kept her distance awkwardly buttoning up her shirt trying to look more presentable. More like the Buffy she was sure he expected from her. Cold and aloof to him like she had always been, caring more about her appearance than seeing him. It was so far from the truth that she had to struggle from falling down the remaining stairs for all she wanted to jump into his arms.

He noticed her hands then, all red and blistered. Bits of dirt and wood were still stuck under her skin. Dawn was so naïve about how they got like that but Spike in his infinitely understanding way had gone through the same process she remembered.

“She clawed her way out of her coffin, that’s how”

She agreed. The both of them shared a quiet moment while Dawn looked on awkwardly. Spike led Buffy off to one of the sofas and asked Dawn to get some medicine and some bandages for her hands. Taking her hands into his gently he surveyed the damage.

“How long was I gone?”

Spike knew the exact number of days though it had been over 140. She looked up into his eyes and completely melted over into his lap. He didn’t understand it at first. Expecting the old cynical Buffy back he patted her back awkwardly. But when her quiet tears turned into sobbing he gently soothed her stroking her spine and got up to sit down completely in his lap where she curled up and cried why he cradled her in his arms.

Then the Scoobie gang came crashing in the front door.

Spike looked up at the commotion the entering Scoobies. Buffy didn’t even bother to move in his arms after her initial jump at the loud noise. She knew who it was and that they probably wouldn’t be very happy about finding her like this. After all as far as they were concerned Buffy never once had shown an ounce of attraction to the vampire.

“My god Buffy you’re cuddling the undead there”

‘Sigh… that would be Xander,’ she thought.

“I’m sure she’s just going through a hard time. We brought her back from who knows what hell she’s just clinging onto the first thing that will let her. It’s perfectly natural”

‘Willow and all her poorly rationalized assumptions’

“Guys just shut up would you? You fought alongside him every night! He helped save my life and here when everything is just a little more shiny you are so quick to drop him back to the level of...of what exactly? Just another Buffy-bot with lighter hair?”

Dawnie.

Spike looked down back to the charge clinging onto him in his lap. She had started sobbing quietly. She held onto him tightly almost as if she were afraid he would dust in her arms or something. It was almost comical to him really. He had a crush on her forever and now all a sudden she comes back from the dead and she couldn’t get her off him. Not that he’d want her to. Had he known death would cause such a dramatic change he might have offed her forever ago.

He winced horribly at his own idea. He told himself he loved her over and over. And he was devastated by her death how could think so unkindly of her all a sudden? He had killed countless people including two slayers but had never felt any remorse, ever. He couldn’t even think about hurting Buffy without almost crying. Something inside him rebelled at the very idea of her suffering.

Buffy felt him stiffen and looked up into his eyes. It looked like he was sad and confused about why. His distress did little to comfort her. She kept thinking the moment he’d throw her off his lap in front of the others was just around the corner. He tilted her head at her and smiled. It was all she needed to break down sobbing again.

Anya walked over to Buffy and handed her a tissue.

“Buffy it is okay Xander and I have good news!”

“Ahn!”

Willow came closer to Buffy as well. She gave Spike a vexed sort of look and put her hand on the sobbing girl’s shoulder. Trying as delicately as she could Willow was trying to slowly pry her off of Spike. What kind of hell dimension would make Buffy crave the affection of the soulless undead?

“Come on Buffy maybe if we can get you up and sit you on the couch we can, you know get with the not quite so icky peer bonding?”

Willow increased the pressure on Buffy’s shoulder looking around for some extra support. Xander and Anya were quietly bickering about something. Dawn looked miserable.

‘Poor girl we should have told her everything before we did this’

Tara was hugging onto the little girl. Willow had trouble reading her girlfriend’s expression for the first time in a long while. It was as if she were very happy and melancholy at the same time but not for the whole Buffy being back circumstances but the matter at hand. What could possibly be happy about Buffy’s re-found talent of vampire hugging? This one didn’t even have a soul.

“Let go Buffy it’ll be okay you’re home now. Just let go.”

Buffy felt the pressure on her shoulder begin to separate her from Spike’s cool chest and she shook herself out of her daydreams of hot cocoa to become aware of what Willow was trying to do. Again.

“NO WILLOW YOU CAN’T TAKE ME AWAY FROM HIM! NOT AGAIN! YOU BROUGHT ME BACK TO HELL DON’T TAKE WHAT I HAVE LEFT HERE.”

It took a minute for the group to register what she had said. Dawn cried a little more. Tara slowly lowered her head in resignation. Xander was aghast and looked like he was choking. Anya wrinkled up her nose at Buffy’s sudden outburst more than what she said. Willow looked devastated. They had all assumed she was in some hell dimension not somewhere that would make here look like hell.

Spike didn’t know what to think. Inside he felt both elated and repulsed. He had waited so long for her to return just an ounce of affection and would have stabbed his own sire to make the girl happy but he couldn’t believe there existed a dimension where he already had it all. What had he done here to deserve it so bad off? He didn’t feel as he deserved her as he returned the slayer hug and patted her softly on the back. Spike had never gotten the girl and now that he did he wasn’t quite sure what to do with her.

Some place out there Buffy loved him and he didn’t have the slightest idea what that Spike had done that he never got around to trying yet. He tried making her money but that blew up in his face. He tried the direct approach and that usually left him bloodied and drinking scotch in his crypt alone for days. He was afraid to do anything except hold the slayer in his arms. He didn’t want to blow what felt like his only shot with keeping the girl now he got her.

‘Too bad the poof isn’t here to see my glorious triumph eh pet?’

Again his bad thoughts caused him to wince in pain. This time it was like something was tugging at his still heart. Squeezing what was left of it into even less. It reminded him again of all the people he had killed and it hurt. But just like that it was gone again.

Buffy glared at Willow and the rest of the gang daring them to try and move her. When she was fairly sure the thought was far from their mind if they valued various bones being intact she turned her eyes back to Spike just in time to see his wincing.

“Spike you are hurt.”

Without a second thought she gave him a tender kiss.