*A/N: First, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who put in their input...I can't make any promises except that this will ave Spuffiness...Also a warning the the dating of others will be present in the future, but you'll have to read on to find out what's the what....
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Chapter One: Freak Out

Her hand shook as she picked up the plastic stick that was determining her future. Once the results were clear, she wrapped the plastic applicator in tissue and threw it in the trash. Making her way into her room, Buffy stopped before the full-length mirror and put a hand over her slightly swollen belly. It wasn’t big, yet, but she had gained some weight.

Tears fled from her eyes, crawling slowly down her cheeks, when a knock on the door caused her to wipe them away quickly. “Come in.” She called to the guest.

“Buffy, Mom said you have to be at work in an hour and to-where you crying?” Dawn asked worriedly.

“No!” Buffy denied vehemently.

“Yes you were. You’re crying because Spike hasn’t called in, like, a month.” Dawn pointed an accusing finger at the bleach blonde’s picture that sat on Buffy’s nightstand.

“He’s only been gone three months, and he sent me letter last week. He’s a little busy with finals, but he’ll be back in two months.” Buffy defended her boyfriend, repeating the words he’d written in the letter.

“Open your eyes, Buffy. Finals usually mean hot blondes that aren’t you.” Dawn said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Spike would never do that to me.” Buffy sat, sitting on her bed, dazed.

“I hope not.” Dawn turned on her heal and stormed off, leaving Buffy to look for her Expresso Pump tee, and get ready for work.

*

“Maybe it’s time you forget Betty and have a little fun, mate.” Doyle elbowed Spike gently in the ribs as they made their way down the halls of the school.

“It’s Buffy, you git, and she’s the only reason why I’m here. I have to do better, graduate with honors, make her proud.” Spike ensured himself.

“If you got any higher on that honors list, your head will explode. Why don’t you come out with me and they guys tonight, Drogyn, Hamilton, Trick, and a certain girl by the name of Gwen?” Doyle’s eyebrows rose suggestively.

“As much as I like you and Drogyn, and Gwen is a hot little thing, Hamilton and Trick are whelps. They’ll only get me into trouble.” Spike insisted.

“Darla might be there…” Doyle teased.

Darla had been a crush of Spike’s when he lived in England. Her high and mighty attitude caused him to fall deeper for her, although she’d never given him the time of day. She’d known him when he was a loser, and he was suddenly getting the chance to show her what he’d become.

“Maybe I’ll come out for a little while.” He decided, Buffy disappearing from his thoughts.

*

Spike’s social ladder rose with his move to England, while Buffy spent her days at school, some nights working, and other’s just sleeping. Her grades were fine, but her mother was able to see her withdrawal from her social life.

Now, Buffy had another thing to worry about. It was Friday afternoon and after a long day of school, Buffy sat with her legs under her on her bed, as she dialed Spike’s number in England.

After four or five rings of the cell phone, Spike finally picked up, the noise in the pub a little too loud. He saw that it was Buffy and stepped outside before speaking. “Hello, luv, I miss you so.” He said sweetly.

“Oh, Spike,” Buffy cried at the sound of his voice, “I miss you too…I have to talk to you about something important.”

“Is everything okay, Buffy?” He questioned, worriedly.

“It’s kind of a thing, and-“

“Spike, Darling, are you coming?” Darla’s seductive voice came through to Buffy’s ear on her side of the phone.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” He called back, unaware of Buffy’s emotional state.

“Who the fuck was that?” Buffy asked angrily.

“Just a friend, pet. We’re going to the cinema to catch the new Harry Potter.” He replied nonchalantly.

“You’re on a date?” Buffy questioned, her eyes filling with tears.

“No, luv, a bunch of us are just out having a good time, like you should be doing.” He assured her.

“If you want to date, Spike, you can. As you said, you don’t want to hold me back, so you know what? I’m not going to hold you back.” Buffy bitterly hung up the phone with a slam, buried her face in her pillow.

Spike stood there shocked for a moment, and then dialed her number. The phone was picked up and slammed down numerous times, and Spike decided to try again later.

*

Xander slowly made his way up the stairs of the Summers’ residence and stopped at Buffy’s door, knocking softly. “What’s going on, Buffy? You didn’t show up at the Bronze last night, and Willow, Anya, and I were waiting for an hour.” Xander said through the door, when he got no response.

“Please just go away.” She sniffled.

“I can’t do that. I’m coming in, even if I risk the chance of seeing you naked.” With that reply Xander opened the door, to see a red-eyed Buffy sitting in her bed, hugging her knees. She ore her Yummy Sushi pajamas and tissues were scattered around the floor. “What’s wrong?” He rushed to her side, and threw himself on the bed next to her.

“I-I can’t t-talk about it, or I-I’ll just end up c-crying again.” She replied through sniffles.

“Well, you have a shoulder right here, so spill.” Xander prodded.

Buffy breathed in deep. “I called Spike yesterday and he was w-with another girl!” Buffy wailed. “She was all like, ‘Are you coming,’ all seductive and stuff.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned.

“Positive…and that’s not the worst part…” Buffy began. “I’m pregnant.” Although she wanted to cry out, she said the words in a whisper.

“YOU’RE WHAT???????” Xander just freaked.

*A/N: Good news…I think there is a chance that this will be a baby fic…I hope you all enjoy…but I can’t make many promises because it depends where my sick and twisted mind takes me…enjoy and please, your input means the world to me!*

Chapter Two: Miss Him

The following day, Xander awoke with Buffy lying in his arms. She mustn’t have slept in days, because when he reached to answer the phone, she didn’t stir.

“Hello?” He questioned into the pink plastic receiver.

“What are you doing there, whelp? Where’s Buffy?” Spike questioned with annoyance. It was the afternoon in England, and around 10AM in Sunnydale.

“She’s still asleep. I stayed over and kept her company while she bawled her eyes out over you and the situation you’ve put her in.” Xander said angrily.

“What situation? What the bloody hell are you talking about?” Spike suddenly felt lost, the entire feel in his body drifting away at the thought of hurting his true love.

“Let Buffy tell you when she’s ready, but I suggest you wait a little while, like, never!” With that Xander slammed down the phone, awaking Buffy in an instant.

“I’m late!” Buffy shouted right when she opened her eyes.

“For what?” Xander questioned.

“School!” She shouted, getting up and rushing to her dresser to look for something to where.

“Buffy, it’s Sunday.” He laid his head back down on the pillow and let out a long sigh.

“Really?” Buffy questioned, and Xander nodded. “Okay.” She slowly went back into bed, snuggling beside her best friend. “What would I do without you?” She looked up at him, with her big green eyes and sleep-tousled hair.

“I don’t know, but I support you one-hundred percent in whatever you decide. I’m not going to judge you, or make accusations. I’m just going to tell you that I love you, and you should talk to your mother.” Xander spoke with care, but Buffy’s eyes went wide.

“My mother!” She sat up straight in bed. “I can’t do that…this will ruin her.” Tears filled her eyes.

“She loves you, Buffy.” Xander ensured her, the conversation with Spike heading to the back of her mind.

*

Joyce sat on the couch in silence when she heard her daughter’s words her facial features unreadable. “Are you sure?” Questioning came to her face, and tears filled her eyes. Buffy only nodded, looking down at her hands as they rested in her lap. “Well, Buffy…I’m not going to yell out you…I want to, but these things happen.” She was actually at a loss for words. “I-I thought you took proper precautions.”

“I did…except after that fight…it just happened.” Buffy said, finally obtaining the courage that she needed to look at her mother’s hurt expression.

“How?” Joyce questioned.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Do I really need to explain that?” Her cheeks turned red from embarrassment.

“You’re responsible enough to have sex, so you better be able to talk about it.” Joyce said.

“He came here the Saturday before he left…and we…” Buffy attempted to explain.

“In this house?” Joyce’s eyes went wide as her daughter’s often did. Buffy nodded shamefully. “I’m very disappointed in you…you should know better, Buffy. That is beyond disrespectful. Go to you room while I digest this…then we’ll decide what to do.” Joyce pointed toward the stairs.

As Buffy rushed up the stairs, near tears, Dawn came down. “Buffy’s in trouble?” The youngest Summers asked with a wide smile, only to receive a glare from her mother. “What?”

*

“I don’t understand what I did wrong?” Spike cried before Darla, his face in is hand.

The blonde sat beside him on the couch in her living room and smiled, as she reached over to touch his hair. “You did nothing wrong. It’s her…she doesn’t appreciate you the way I could.”

Spike pushed her away roughly. “You or anybody else can ever replace the love I have for Buffy. It was a mistake to become your friend. You did it on purpose, didn’t you? The way you spoke so she’d hear you.”

“What can I say…I always get what I want, and right now I want you.” Darla stood and sensuously made her way toward Spike, pressing her body to his.

He pushed her away, and went for the door. “Sod off you fucking bint.” It was clear that Spike would never be able to look at another woman the way he did Buffy, and he was not about to let Darla try to take her place. He was going to work hard, and go back to Sunnydale to win back the woman he loves.

*

“P-pregnant? A-are you sure?” Willow asked with a shocked expression on her face, as she sat in Buffy’s room, Xander and Anya along with her.

“Yeah…” Buffy was tired of crying, as she sat on her bed, looking at each friend. “I was stupid…I am big stupid Buffy.”

“People make mistakes, Buff. It takes two.” Xander said.

“But for some reason it doesn’t feel like a mistake, because this baby growing inside of me was made out of love. Nothing can ever change my feelings for Spike, and right now…I just have to find out if what I heard was really what he meant.” Buffy said.

“Anya is a very nice name.” The recently shorthaired Brunette smiled brightly, and earned a gentle jab in the ribs. “Hey!” She whined, shooting daggers at Xander through her eyes.

Buffy just smiled. “We’ll see.”

“You can do it Buffy. I’ll be here for you.” Willow encouraged her.

“We’ll be here for you.” Xander corrected.

“If Spike is really cheating on you with a skanky girl who is giving him many orgasms, we will be here to give orgasms as well...” Anya considered her comment for a second. “That came out way more lesbian than I intended it to.”

“She means that if Spike is being an asshole, we’ll become surrogate parents.” Willow corrected.

Buffy doubted that Spike would mind a bundle of joy, but smiled at her friends with such hope, and trust. She was not alone, but she still missed him.

*A/N: I’m loving the support, and I’m happy that you all are getting so into it. Still checking the baby idea…so just let me know what you feel.*

Chapter Three: This Woman’s Work

When he asked his old man for a ticket back to the states, he was told in the posh accent of the mother land he was growing to hate, “Absolutely not!”

Spike knew it was time to take things into his own hands. He made his way down the strip by the harbor, and stopped and Merle’s Fish and Chips. Merle was a short skinny man, with green hair slicked back.

“How are you doing, Merle?”

“Spike? Is that you? I haven’t seen you since you were thirteen.” Merle was a city slicker from New York, who got into some problems in the states and fled to the mother country.

“It’s definitely been a while, mate.” Spike agreed.

“You’ve gotten bigger, more manly than the dork you used to be.” Merle said with a laugh.

“I see you’ve been staying out of trouble.” Spike put his arms up, noticing the condition of the restaurant.

“Yeah…it’s been a hit for a while now. I owe it all to your dad. What brought you here, anyway? You hated fish and was ecstatic to get out of England.” Merle wiped the counter and gave a customer a small smile.

“My mum passed a few months ago and Dad dragged me back out here.” Spike informed him.

“Sorry to here about that. Jenny was a wonderful woman.” Merle nodded his head with seriousness.

“Yeah…well, I actually came because I’m desperate for a favor.” Spike said.

“And what might that be? My funds are kinda tight at the moment.” Merle let him know.

“Well it is about money, but I’m willing to work for it.” Spike replied.

“Well…we the pay is shit, but let me introduce you to some of the workers. You can start tomorrow.” Merle put an arm around Spike’s shoulders and led him behind the counter.

*

Buffy inhaled deeply as she walked up the steps of Sunnydale High, in capri-overalls and black wife beater. She was yet to have the talk with her mother, but she was in for it today, especially since she had a doctor’s appointment after school.

She expected people to know, already…to look at her funny, but nothing unusual happened when she reached her locker. But then, Willow, Xander, Oz, and Anya all formed a circle around her.

“Hey Buffy!” Willow said with cheer.

“What are you guys doing here?” Buffy questioned with a smile.

“We decided to walk with you to English.” Xander said.

“You never walked me before.” Buffy informed.

“Well, we’re here to take care of you in this time of need, and impregnation.” Anya said, a bit too loud for Buffy’s liking.

“There’s no need guys, really.” Buffy assured them, as they all began walking together.

“Donut?” Oz held a Krispy Crème bag out to Buffy with what looked like a donut.

“Thanks.” Buffy took it with much hunger. Her eating habits were already rapidly changing and she was no more than three months.

“Hey! I didn’t get a donut!” Xander complained.

“You’re not pregnant, although sometimes I wonder.” Oz said, raising his brow quizzically.

“You guys think we could keep down the P-word.” Buffy requested.

“Sorry…are we doing to much, because you can tell us.” Willow offered.

“You’re doing fine, but when the mood swings start, I seriously suggest running for cover.” With those words, Buffy spotted Drusilla walking near, and attempted to lose eye contact.

“I see something extra in that crowd…could there be the stab, stab, stab in the belly.” She hissed.

Buffy just ignored her, while the others gaped. “How could she know?” They wondered.

Suddenly, being pregnant was the last thing on Buffy’s mind, and hiding it was more up her ally.

*

Buffy stood in the student parking lot, waiting for her mother. The sun was beating down on her and she was exhausted. She was about to walk home, when Angel pulled up beside her in his red and black Camaro.

“Need a ride?” He questioned innocently.

“No, I’m walking.” Buffy replied.

“You don’t look too well…are you sure you want to walk?” He asked.

“Where’s the creature of the night?” Buffy countered.

“We…broke up…I don’t know what happened, and to be honest, I don’t care.” He was ready to go into an explanation, when Buffy’s cell phone went off.

“Where are you?” Buffy questioned when she saw it was her mother. “The bus? Sure I can…thanks. Yeah, we’ll talk after I get home.” Her mother was caught up at the gallery and Buffy sighed at the thought of taking the bus downtown alone.

“I’m feeling quite generous.” Angel let her know.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the brooding brunette. “Fine, but if you tell anyone where we’re going, I’ll kill you.” With that she made her way to the passengers side and got in.

*A/N: Read on…there’s a possibility that you all got a baby fic…I’ll never tell. Also, thanks so much for all of your input and continue to help me lead this story in a worth directing. I’m sorry if there’s some B/A…he was there first, and Spike will never be out of the picture.*

Chapter Four: Focus

“Mrs. Summers, I presume?” A taller older doctor came into the waiting room to greet Buffy, as Angel sat beside her.

She didn’t explain what was going on, but Angel stood when she did and shook the doctor’s hand. “That’s me. My mother couldn’t make it.” Buffy said.

“My name is Ben. I’m assuming this is Mr. Summers. You must be proud to be welcoming a child into this world with such a beautiful lady.” A young male doctor stepped beside the older one, addressing Angel and smiling brightly at Buffy.

“Oh, He’s…not-“

Angel gave her a quizzical look and stopped her from denying the lie. “I’m not just proud, I’m ecstatic. I’m hoping it’ll be equally beautiful.” Angel smiled at Buffy slightly, and Ben signaled for them to follow him.

“What are you doing?” Buffy hissed in a whisper.

“Why didn’t you tell me Spike knocked you up?” Angel questioned.

“It’s none of your business who knock what up, and what kind of term is that?” She said touchily.

“Sorry…but, God, Buffy, we used to be so close, and now you’re…” His voice drifted as he noticed the small bump the overalls had been hiding.

“Used to before you cheated on me…and left me.” She nodded her head. She had to admit, though, she was happy he was there with her. She felt comfortable. “I’ll tell you one thing, as much as I know I’ll never love anyone the way I love Spike, and I wish he could be here, I’m happy that you are.”

He smiled at her warmly.

*

Buffy was bursting with excitement when she heard the speedy heartbeat of her child for the first time. Her child…her and Spike’s. ‘Then why is Angel sitting here, holding my hand?’ She cast a glance at the broad shouldered man, and he smiled brightly, his eyes gleaming with fatherly pride. For a second, she allowed herself to believe that he was the father, by her side supporting her. When realization set in, she felt the sting of tears approaching.

“It’s too early to see much, but that’s the head...” Ben pointed out what he could see on the screen.

“It’s cute.” Angel spoke.

“Yeah…” Buffy’s voice was a whisper. She was propped on her elbowed watching the screen with pride.

“I’ll be right back to take some pictures for you two to take home. Why don’t you take a minute to yourselves.” Ben said, standing from his seat and heading out the door.

The room was silent.

Angel was the first to break it. “I can’t help but wonder, what if I had done things different? Would it be mine?” He looked into Buffy’s eyes for an answer, and she looked away to see the screen.

“Maybe, or maybe we would have been too smart to let this happen.” He gave her a look. “I’m just saying Spike and I did this because we were overwhelmed with passion, and not thinking. If I had been more conscious, I would have taking the proper precautions. Now, I just spend every night in bed, crying. My mother won’t speak to me and my sister looks at me like I’m some sorta freak. My friends are being over protective, and Spike’s not even here.” She was nearing hysteria and Angel soothed her by rubbing her back.

“I’m here, and I will be here as long as you let me.” He offered.

“I’d like that.”

*

Buffy got home, to find her mother sitting at the dining room table with Dawn. “What’s up?” She questioned, sitting beside her sister.

“Hi, Honey. How did it go?” Joyce asked, nervously.

Buffy reached into her black messenger bag, and pulled out the pictures. She was able to coax Ben into making copies for everyone. She handed one to Dawn and Joyce. “That’s it.”

Dawn looked at the picture, her eyebrows knitted together. “It looks kinda weird.”

“That’s because it’s not fully developed yet. With every appointment, we’ll see the changes.” Buffy informed.

“With every appointment? Does this mean you’ve made a decision?” Joyce questioned, watching the picture with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, Mom. As much as I know you think I’m ruining my future, I’m going to keep it. Although I have no clue what’s going to happen between Spike and I, this baby was made with love, so I kinda feel like I have to take care of it.” Buffy explained.

Joyce stood suddenly from the table, and rushed to her daughter. She wrapped her arms around her, and squeezed tightly while crying. “Buffy, Sweetie, I won’t think any less of you, and I’ll be here for you as much as possible.”

“Me too.” Dawn joined in for a group hug, her tears coming down.

“I an emotional wreck as it is…you guys are too good to me.” Buffy said, and her family took seats closer to her.

“What are you going to do about Spike?” Dawn suddenly asked, and Joyce seemed to be thinking the same.

“I can’t tell him on the phone. I think it’s best if I wait for him to come back. I can’t have him lose his focus.” Buffy said.

*A/N: There will be more drama to come, but for now…here you guys go. I’m listening to all your suggestions and keeping in mind what you guys wanna see, so lemme know what you think about this one.*

Chapter Five: Something Like That

He took a chance, and dialed the number, afraid of what would happen. She picked up to his surprise, with a drowsy hello.

“Buffy, it’s me.” Angel spoke unsurely.

“Oh…hi.” She sounded a bit disappointed. She was a bit tired from her day of work and the beauty salon. She had her hair cut an inch above her shoulder and highlight with more blonde.

“Still waiting for Spike to call?” He asked curiously.

“Something like that.” She replied with a bit of pain in her voice.

“If he really loves you, he’ll call.” Angel replied with haste.

“I forgot to say thank you…for today. I really needed some support, and you’re the first non-overbearing person I’ve spent the day with in these last few months.” She said with a small smile.

“Buffy, you know I’ll always be there to take care of you. I love you, I always will, and nothing’s going to change that.” His words caused her smile to fade.

“Angel, as much as I appreciate it, I hope you know that things will never be the same between us…you’ll always hold a special place in my heart, but as far as what we used to be, I can never feel like that toward you again. I love Spike, first, and you hurt me too much, second.” She said, attempting not to sound harsh.

No matte how sweet she was about it, it still hurt. “I understand, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to be here to help you out. If you need anything, know that you can come to me.”

*

She sat at her window, looking out at the surrounding houses, and she couldn’t help but wish, he’d climb up the tree and just be there. The ring of the phone snapped her out of a daze. It was near four in the morning there, so she figured it couldn’t be him. She figured it may have been Willow or Xander.

She picked up the phone and whispered a small, “Hello?”

“Don’t hang up, pet!” The British voice on the other end ordered, and Buffy felt her breath hitch.

“Spike, it’s late there. What are you doing?” She questioned gently, in an attempt to keep her emotions in check.

“Calling my one and only.” He replied. Before she could come out with a smart remark, he figured he owed her an explanation. “Darla is nothing to me. She used to be but that was when I was nothing. You made me something, Buffy. I have not been with or thought about anyone but you for these last few months. Don’t shut me out, pet, because if you do, you might as well bloody kill me.” His tone was tortured and stress.

“I won’t, Spike, but I really hope you don’t think that things are going to be the same when you get back. As far as our relationship goes…this time apart is too much, and my life is changing.” She explained, rubbing her belly with her hand.

“Is there someone else?” He was hurt, but attempted to mask the pain.

“Something like that…” She mumbled.

“Who?” His voice squeaked, as he reached one hand up and into his hair, tugging gently.

“Let’s not discuss it.” She answered.

He pushed it all down, all the hurt and anger he’d been feeling, and began working on a normal conversation. “How have you been, luv?”

*

Spike sat on the edge of his bed, the sun had come up and he was running late to school. His conversation with Buffy had been two hours. He hadn’t even slept, seeing how after he came home from work, he called her. The smell of fish stained his body.

He stepped under the spray of the water, and allowed his tears to fall. The thought of another man touching Buffy the way that he did, kissing her, making love to her…it was driving him made.

‘She wouldn’t…you don’t just fall in love with a bloke and break it off because he moves. Something’s going on with her.’ He had to find the explanation to why things were going awry.

A knock on the door caused him to snap out of his temporary breakdown. “Yeah?” He questioned.

“William, are you aware that you’re running late?” Giles asked through the door.

“Yeah, Dad, I’ll be right out.” The blonde called, and prepared himself for another day of no sleep and all work. ‘Love’s bitch, that’s me.’

*

“Buffy! Are you ready for school?” Joyce called from downstairs.

The petite blonde exited her bathroom after scrubbing her mouth clean. Morning sickness was a bitch, but the book gave her hope that it would be over soon.

“I’ll be down in a few!” She called, and went to her dresser to find a pair of shorts. She pulled them up and made an attempt to pull them around her belly. It would be impossible, she discovered, and went to her closet with a pout.

Her bedroom door opened suddenly, and Joyce poked her head in. “Honey, what’s taking you so long?” She asked.

With a pout, Buffy replied, “My clothes don’t fit anymore.”

“The miracles of child bearing. We’ll go shopping for maternity clothes tomorrow.” Joyce reached into her daughter’s closet and pulled out a pale pink linen and lace knee-length spaghetti strap dress. “This is great for today, and it’ll bring out your highlights.”

With a sigh, Buffy pulled up the dress and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She slipped on a pair of plain white flip flops, and brushed through her short hair. One thing was certain, shorter hair was a time saver.

“See, you look lovely.” Joyce put her hands on Buffy’s shoulders and looked at her reflection alongside her own.

Dawn suddenly came waltzing into the room. “Is she ready yet?” The teen asked impatiently.

“Yeah, I’m ready. What’s the rush?” Buffy asked with a sudden mood shift.

“Not wanting to be late because of you…again.” Dawn said, crossing her arms on her chest and taking a stance of defiance.

“It’s not my fault. I can’t fit into a lot of my clothes.” Buffy said with anger.

“It’s not my fault you’re getting fat.” With that dawn whirled around and made her way out of the room.

Buffy looked at her mother with wide, and teary eyes. “Am I really getting THAT fat?”

*A/N: A bit of drama coming up for both Spike and Buffy…and Spike will be back by chapter nine!!! Yay!!! Your comments and opinions mean the world to me, so feel free to review…and thanks to Ash!

Chapter Six: Pain

Prom was a week away, and Buffy stood in Clara’s Boutique with Willow and Angel, looking for a dress. They’d just discovered that Buffy was expecting a boy at her doctor’s appointment. Angel had become another trusted friend, but she still refused to be more. As graduation approached, her tummy got bigger. Everyone in Sunnydale was aware of Buffy’s current state, and although there was some talk, everyone was pretty supportive.

“How about this one?” Willow asked, holding up a green dress that came to the knee and revealed much cleavage.

“We’re looking for something that screams mother to be, not street hooker.” Buffy stated, rolling her eyes.

‘Mood swings.’ Willow mouthed to Angel and he smiled.

“What about this one?” The brunette pulled an off white sleeveless gown off the rack, which was embroidered with rhinestones beneath the chest area.

Buffy gasped with approval. “Oh wow…I think I’m in love.”

“I always figured you’d-“

She cut Angel off. “With the dress, asshole!” She snatched it from his hand and went in front of a full-length mirror, to see what it would look like. She was already five months along and her breasts were perking enough for a fair amount of cleavage, plus the way the chiffon spread apart in the front, her belly would dazzle. “You don’t think it screams Virgin Mary?” She questioned the duo beside her.

“Nope, I think it’s perfect.” Angel replied.

“Yeah, Buffy, you’ll look beautiful.” Willow answered.

With a wide smile, the expecting blonde made her way into the dressing room to try it on.

*

Buffy stood before the three-wall mirror, a smile on her face as she looked at her reflection. Angel stood beside her while Willow struggled with a tight red number in the dressing room.

“You look beautiful.” Angel said.

“Thanks.” Spike should have been at her side at that moment. “I don’t look fat, do I?” She questioned.

“Not at all…you’re glowing.” His eyes were filled with affection, and care that she couldn’t return. “Buffy…come with me to prom.”

“I don’t know,” she replied. She hoped that Spike would be back in time to join her for the prom, but with everything that had been going on, she doubted it would happen. Even if he came home on time to go, he’d be too upset about the baby to notice.

“I don’t intend on knocking you up.” He attempted a joke, and caused Buffy to give him a small smile.

With a sigh she thought about it. She was still suffering from hurt after her conversation with Spike. She made him believe she was seeing someone else, when the truth was, she was dedicated to her pregnancy. She just didn’t want Spike to come back to be burdened with the responsibility of a child. He was going to have a baby boy.

“As friends?” She questioned.

“And nothing more.” He replied.

“Okay.” She agreed.

*

“Why are you being so nice to that asshole?” Dawn asked after Angel dropped Buffy off at her house.

Buffy stood in the center of the room admiring her dress. “Not everything is about grudges, Dawn. At one point you liked that asshole, so don’t give me shit because I became his friend.”

“You’re using him!” Dawn argued. She was angry with her sister for dismissing her relationship with Spike.

“What do you know?” Buffy questioned, her side paining suddenly.

“You’re his friend because Spike isn’t here! You want to replace that void and Angel is just a perfect. All because he’s already in love with you, so no need finding anyone new! I bet he’d try to take on the role of Daddy.” Dawn went on, her voice shrill, and her rage vivid.

When the words were spoken Buffy buckled with pain, a wide-eyed Dawn standing above her.

“That’s not funny Buffy, get up.” Dawn said in a scared voice.

“I’m not joking. I think I’m going into labor. Call the doctor, and call mom.” Buffy ordered as a pang hit her again.

“You’re only five months!” Dawn exclaimed, running for the phone.

“I don’t know just hurry.” Buffy began crying, wishing that Spike was by her side.

*A/N: This is for Shippy and Kat, so they can understand what’s going on in Buffy’s head. Giles’ behavior will also be a bit of a shock, but the explanations will come. If you haven’t noticed both stories are based upon past and future. Don’t forget I desperately need your feedback to continue…*

Chapter Seven: Truths and Change

Joyce rushed through the double doors of the ER at Sunnydale Memorial, and made her way to the nurses’ station. At the vast white desk, sat a curly haired blonde that smiled widely at the eldest Summers woman. “Buffy Summers, I’m looking for Buffy Summers.”

“Are you her mother?” The girl said standing with Buffy’s chart in her hand, as Joyce nodded. “I’m Glory. Your daughter was asking for you not too long ago, but she’s asleep now. Her sisters sitting with her.” Glory led Joyce down the hall to a corner room.

“Is she okay? Is the baby okay?” Joyce asked nervously.

Glory stepped in with the mother behind her. “Everything is fine. Buffy just stressed herself out and put the baby in a bit of distress, but the doctor went over things she can do to prevent it from happening again. If it weren’t for Dawnie here, the baby would have been a bit premature. At this rate, you’re looking at a September baby.” Glory said with a smile, and left the family to speak.

Buffy slept soundly in the bed, Dawn at her bedside.

Dawn looked up at her mother with teary eyes. “I didn’t mean to…she just made me so mad.”

“What are you talking about, Dawn, Honey?” Joyce kneeled before her baby, and took her hands in her own.

It’s my fault that Buffy almost lost the baby. I started an argument.” Dawn began crying. She looked over at her older sister’s sleeping form.

“What could you have possibly done?” Joyce asked, reaching up to wipe the tears of Dawn’s cheeks.

“She was out with Angel…and it just made me so mad. She’s not even thinking about Spike, and even though I don’t talk to him, and I was mad because he left, I can feel it…he’s hurting. And her immaturity of keeping the baby a secret is just going to make things worse. How could you love someone and hide things from him? It just makes no sense.” Dawn spoke, her heart going out to the bleach blonde overseas.

*

Spike dialed the number to the Summers’ residence, as he sat on a stool in the kitchen of Merle’s on a rickety old stool.

“Hello?” A shaky voice questioned. It was nearing seven in the morning and Dawn hadn’t slept a bit. She was too busy waiting for noon, and Buffy’s arrival home.

“Nibblet, you okay?” He asked.

“Just a little tired, and yourself?” She attempted to keep the conversation nonchalant.

“Okay…getting ready to come home. Is Buffy home?” He asked.

“She’s in the hospital…just a little observation because she was having stomach pain.” Dawn attempted to hide the truth.

“Is she going to be okay?” He was nervous. Buffy was the strongest woman he knew.

“She’ll be back later today. I’ll tell her you called.” Dawn replied.

“Make sure…you…you tell her I love her.” He hesitated to leave the message, but he wanted her to know always.

“I will.”

*

Buffy awoke in hysterics, crying out for the only man she could ever love. “Spike! Spike, where are you?”

Glory rushed into the teenager’s room, and attempted to comfort her. “It’s okay, Buffy. It’s okay. Your mother will be here to get you soon, and I’m sure Spike will too.”

“No he won’t!” Buffy cried. “He left me. He left me to go to England and he’s never coming back.” She sobbed hard, and her stomach pained, once more. Her biggest fear was revealed, the reason she was pushing her beloved away. She was afraid she was going to lose him, anyway.

“Buffy, you have to calm down. If you want your baby to be healthy, you have to keep your stress level down.” Glory attempted to speak throw the commotion.

Joyce ran into Buffy’s room at the sound of her crying. “What’s going on here?” She questioned at the sight of her daughter in distress and the nurse’s failed attempt at comfort.

“She woke up crying for someone named Spike.” Glory explained.

“Oh my, the baby’s father. He’s away right now. Buffy don’t worry. Spike will be back. He loves you.” Joyce assured the blonde. She wrapped her arms around Buffy and rocked her back and forth. She whispered words of comfort until Buffy quieted completely.

“I have to tell him.” Buffy said. “He has to know.”

“You can tell him when he gets back. Rupert and I agreed on it.” Joyce said.

“You spoke to Giles?” Buffy questioned worriedly, pulling back from her mother.

*

Giles sat in the dark apartment, a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his hand. He smiled when he heard the front door open. His son was going to be a father.

“Dad? Are you in here?” Spike called through the empty apartment.

“Right here, Son.” His voice slurred. He couldn’t help but remember how young and inexperienced he was when he lost his wife, and had Spike. He didn’t want the same for his son.

Spike made his way over to the light switch and flipped it on in time to see his father sitting on the living room floor, his back against the couch. “Are you okay, old man?”

“Great…just great. Come have a drink with me Willy. There are times to celebrate.” Giles said.

“And what time might that be, Mate?” Spike took a seat beside his father, and smelled seven different liquors on him. “You’re wrecked.”

“Your future,” was Giles’ reply.

“Let’s drink to that.” Spike took the bottle and took a swig. “I’m going back to Sunnydale in three weeks, and not only will I win back my girl, but I’ll be on my way to UC Sunnydale.”

“You dream the dream of dreamers. Silly boy, things are about to change for you.” Giles said, and Spike’s just gave his father a quizzical look.

“Change?” Spike questioned, a knot in his stomach. He handed the bottle back to his old man, and stood. “What are you talking about? Have you spoken to Buffy? Is she okay?” He made his way to the phone, but Giles stopped him.

“You silly little boy, this can not be fixed with a phone call. You will be back in Sunnydale in three weeks when the semester is over, and I will pay your ticket. There is a lot to look ahead for. You’re going to learn to be a man.” Giles spoke coldly, the disappointment threaded in his voice.

“What have I done?” Spike questioned.

“You’ve ruined your life by falling in love with that girl!” Giles yelled.

Spike felt his anger get the best of him, as he pushed his father to the ground. “Don’t ever speak of Buffy in such a way. She is the love of my life and if you cannot accept that, than I won’t stay here anymore.”

When Giles said nothing, Spike walked out, slamming the door behind him.

“Dear Lord, what have I done?” Giles looked to his savior for an answer.

*A/N: Sorry about the wait, I had my prom and graduation was today!!! I am now a high school graduate…but anyway…I’m trying to explain what has been going on lately, as best as I could. Enjoy, and let me know what you think…*

Chapter Eight: Vows

Buffy stood before the full-length mirror, a hand on her belly as she studied how the dress complimented her pregnancy. She could imagine Spike at her side in a white tuxedo. A smile approached her features and she closed her eyes, his voice in her head.

“You look beautiful,” She spun around, her eyes wide as the deep voice spoke. She was startled from her imagination, and saw Angel standing before her.

“You’re early,” she looked over the tux he was wearing to see that it was what she had envisioned Spike wearing.

“Yeah, well, Anya wants us at her house in twenty minutes to take some pictures, and you know how Anya gets when things don’t go her way.” He slowly moved forward, taking her into his arms, and she reluctantly returned to embraced. “Still no word from Giles?” He asked, taking a step back.

Buffy shook her head no with sadness. “Spike handed in everything he needed to graduate and disappeared. She couldn’t help but blame herself. If she hadn’t been so dramatic and told him about the baby in the first place, then they would have been together at that moment. She would have been going to prom with him, but she blamed her emotional outbreak on hormones.

“Think he’ll come back?” Angel knew that even if Spike didn’t come back, there was no chance for them. He was her replacement for Spike’s friendship.

“I don’t know…I hope so, but…I’m afraid of what will happen when he finds out about…” She rubbed her stomach affectionately.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Angel asked.

Buffy glanced at the clock on her nightstand in an attempt to avoid the question. “Look at the time…we better get go-“

“Don’t avoid the question.” He interrupted.

With a sigh, Buffy sat on the edge of her bed, and Angel sat beside her, listening intently. “After Jenny died, he shut down. He became so attached to me, that the only time he seemed alive was when he was with me…” She looked dazed when she spoke of him, and tears brimmed her eyes. “He left to get better…and this would have gotten in the way.” She didn’t want to hold him back from having a future.

Angel rested a comforting hand on her back, attempting to soothe her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and allowed her tears to fall silently. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he leaves me.”

“Well, you still have me.” Angel said.

*

Spike sat on an unsteady branch, watching the scene before him with seething hatred. He had climbed up just in time, to watch Buffy take comfort on the poofter’s shoulder. There back was toward him, and he jumped down without a thought, and ran home.

‘How could she?’ It was the only questioned that ran through his mind. She left him for the one guy he couldn’t stand. He wanted to run back there, put some sense into her, but he wasn’t ready to show his face.

He had gone through hell to get there, and for what? To watch his beautiful Buffy with a manipulative player?

‘What happened to Dru?’ No one knew he was back, and he was beginning to believe that returning wasn’t such a good idea. But his soul was yearning for Buffy’s love, and he couldn’t let her go. There was no way.

He entered the Giles’ old residence, which was eerie. Although the furniture and pictures still remained, there was a slight dust covering everything. The furniture was covered with white sheets, and the phone and electricity were no longer connected.

Spike pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and turned it on for the first time in a week. It was no surprise that he had fifty-seven messages waiting for him. He sighed, and dialed his father first.

“Where the bloody hell are you?” There was strain in the British accent, and drowsiness. Spike wasn’t sure whether it was because it was near two in the morning there, or Giles just hadn’t slept since he disappeared.

“Home…I came to see Buffy.” Spike replied.

“Did you see her?” Giles hoped his son knew of the girl’s pregnancy. He hated keeping it a secret, but it wasn’t his responsibility to make Buffy rush.

“No…not really.” Spike answered.

Guilt washed over him at the way he had spoken to his son the week before. “About last week…I’m sorry. Buffy’s a lovely girl…I just don’t want you to end up as I did at your age.” Giles had kept enough secrets from his son in the past.

“What do you mean? Mom died, you didn’t have a choice. Besides, that has nothing to do with Buffy.” Spike said.

“Your mother…Gwendolyn didn’t die, William. She left us. I was eighteen, she was seventeen. She gave birth to you with regret, and left. I was putting you to sleep in the one-bedroom flat, while she said she was going to the store. I should have known she wouldn’t come back; she had barely touched you since you returned from the hospital.” Giles explained regretfully.

Spike was shocked. “How dare you? How the fuck could you keep something like this from me?”

“William…Spike, it’s not something that would have helped you find meaning in life.” Giles hesitated.

Spike felt the sudden tears spring to life. “I have found my bloody meaning, and I don’t care about you or Gwendolyn. I’m going to get Buffy back, and I’m going to marry her!” The bleached blonde vowed, and he hung up the phone.

Giles pressed the receiver and dialed the operator. “Good day, I was looking for the number to the airport…yes, I’m heading to Sunnydale, California.”

*A/N: Well…I hope you guys are enjoying this installment, because Spike is back bitches!!! And he’s going to turn Buffy’s world upside down again! Anyway, enjoy and I need a lot of opinion here because the reconciliation is going to be hard to write.*

Chapter Nine: Numb

“Buffy Summers…” Principal Snyder called her name. As she waddled toward the older man, he smiled. “I’m happy you were able to make it through the year, under these circumstances.” For the first time ever, he gave the young mother to be, a genuine smile, and the crowd surrounding gave her a standing ovation.

With tears in her eyes, Buffy accepted her diploma, and made her way off the stage to sit with her friends. “We did it, guys!” She said excitedly, tears in her eyes.

“And without a visit to the magical land of summer school.” Xander said proudly.

“Or to the emergency room…Buffy’s looks about ready to pop.” Anya said, bluntly.

“That’s not the half of it…she’s still got two or three months to go.” Willow happily put a hand on her best friend’s growing belly.

In the distance, Spike watched. The shade of trees surrounded him, and for the first time, he had a clear view of Buffy. He felt his heart dip at the sight of her belly, and al that came to him was Angel, and anger, as he watched the tall brooding man jog over to the group and hug Buffy.

He was ready to make his appearance, until he spotted his father, making his way to the Scoobies, as well, Joyce in line behind him, and Dawn trailing after them. Giles hugged Buffy tightly, and whispered in her ear.

Spike watched as she looked around, looked for him, and he ducked behind the tree before she could spot him. The old man ratted him out. Without another thought, Spike fled…he ran to the house and began packing his things.

*

Buffy stopped at the front door, and hesitated. She looked back at the people that waited on the sidewalk.

“We’re here for you, Buffy, but you have to go in yourself.” Dawn supported. Angel, Willow, Xander, Anya, Oz, Joyce, and Giles all stood with her.

Buffy took a deep breath and went for the doorknob, stepping into the dark house.

“I just hope he takes it well…” Giles said nervously.

Joyce reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m sure he will.” She assured him.

“What’s taking so long?” Dawn questioned after a couple of minutes.

“They’re not going to magically appear with hugs and kisses. There’s a lot going on over there.” Xander said.

“He better not yell at her.” Angel swore.

“I’m sure he won’t…he’s going to be okay, they’re going to be okay.” Willow said it more to herself, than anyone else.

“They will.” Oz took the redhead in his arms.

“I hope we can go eat after this. I’m hungry.” Anya said, receiving glares and eye rolls from those around her. “I’m just saying what your tummy’s are thinking.”

Suddenly, Buffy emerged with tears in her eyes, and a note in her hand. It read:
“Dear Buffy: By this time I’m sure you’re aware of my presence, as I am aware of your wrong doings. I hope that you are very happy with Angel, as I will be alone. I’ll be around when I feel I can deal with this situation. I love you: Spike.”

“What is it?” Giles questioned, stepping forward, and retrieving the note from Buffy. “What the bloody fucking hell? Angel?”

“Me? Me what?” Angel questioned, taking the note from Giles. “He thinks I’m…we…the baby’s mine…”

“He what! That little son of a bitch better get back here. There is no way in hell it could be Angel’s.” Joyce yelled. Everyone gawked at the older woman’s reaction. “Sorry…I’m just a bit temperamental.”

Buffy’s tears silently fell down her cheeks. “Is that how he thinks of me?” She looked at the group for an answer, than turned away to walk home. “Whatever.”

“Buffy…”Willow called, but Joyce put up a hand to stop her from following.

“She needs a little time.”

*

The summer night was cool, and Buffy sat on the porch, her arms folding in her lap, as her tears fell. Joyce had arrived home with Willow in comfort mode, but she just wanted to be alone. Xander was in her room at that moment, putting together a crib. The baby shower was three weeks away, and she had just graduated.

In less than three months, she was going to be a mother, and Spike had no idea that the baby was his. A small smile graced her lips as she thought of giving birth to Spike’s child. With his eyes, and her hair, his cheekbones, and her complexion…their little boy was going to be perfection.

There was rustling in the bushes that surrounded the house, but Buffy ignored it. “Damn squirrels.” She muttered, rubbing her belly with tenderness.

College was going to be a bitch, too. As much as Joyce offered to help, and Dawn offered to be the nanny, Buffy knew she couldn’t depend on her family forever.

The sound of a twig snapping brought her back to reality, and to that day in the woods.

“W-who’s there?” She questioned into the darkness.

“Never pictured you for the outdoors type, Summers.” Spike made his way toward her, and sat beside her.

She felt as though she was hallucinating. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m ready to talk. I want to know what’s happening, why we’re not together? I also want to know how this happened.” He glanced at her belly with annoyance.

“Well, Spike…six months ago-“

“We were still bloody together then!” He stood and yelled.

“Can I finish?” She asked impatiently. He was really there, and it caused her tears to fall rapidly. He sat back down and waited for her to continue. “When we made up…I wasn’t on the pill.”

Spike made an “O” with his mouth, and sat there for a second. “Thank God it’s not that fucking wanker’s.” Suddenly it came to him that everyone knew and had been kept in the dark. “How long have you known?” He asked, his nostrils flaring in sudden anger.

“Three months…” She replied, fear striking her.

“Three months? Three fucking months!” He stood.

“You were getting your shit together, I didn’t want to disrupt it.” Buffy stood in defense.

“And my father?” Spike asked.

“He’s known for a few weeks. We didn’t want to get in the way of your life in England.” Buffy said sheepishly.

“And Angel?” He asked quietly, his anger settling.

“We’re just friends.” She answered.

“But how long has he know? What part has he taken in this?” Spike paced on the grass.

“H-he went to my first appointment with me…when I went to get the sonogram done. He’s been taking me while my mother’s at work.” Before the words left her mouth, he was stomping off angrily. “Where are you going?”

He turned to answer her one last time. “I can’t even look at you right now. You took away from the beginning of my child’s life.”

Buffy couldn’t allow herself to cry as she walked away. She was numb, unable to feel her heart’s piercing agony. Silently she stood, and made her way back into the house.She knew it was all her fault.

*A/N: First, I want to start by saying that Ash is the best beta ever. Without her, I would have the courage to post my stories on the site. I would never leave her behind. Second, thank you so much for the reviews. It touches me more than anything to read that you are all enjoying a ride on the Spuffy Express. Lastly, I'm looking for people who can make graphix. i want a graphic for this story with pictures of Season Seven Buffy and Spike. If anyone whats to make one or some, send them to my email: AngelSabrina411@yahoo.com. Now with out further ado, here’s chapter 10 and please keep the feedback coming.*

Chapter Ten: Control

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well.” Joyce said, when Buffy sat on her bed with red eyes. She was preparing for the gallery’s reopening with Giles’ return.

“He’s pissed.” Buffy said.

“He’ll get over it. You seem to be doing fine emotionally. You’ve had a long day, honey. I think you should rest.” Joyce suggested.

“But what about the party?” Buffy asked.

“Do you really want to go to a party filled with older stuffy people, that’ll pinch your cheeks, while looking down at you for having a baby out of wedlock?” Joyce asked.

“Nope…I’ll pass.” Buffy said with a smile, kissing her mother’s cheek and heading to her room.

“Hey Buffster.” Xander greeted as Buffy entered her room, which has scattered pieces of stained wood all around.

“How’s it going in here?” Buffy asked.

“Xander has yet to grasp the ‘put slot a in slot B’ direction…he had the same problem when we first had sex.” Anya said from the bed.

“I have to, it’s just there are a lot of different slot A’s and B’s.” He defended then caught her last words. “Hey!!!”

“Why don’t you put everything aside and call it a night. No one should be stuck inside during graduation night…except for big pregnant women.” Buffy looked down at her swollen stomach.

“Didn’t go well with Spike?” Xander asked.

“Don’t ask obvious questions…we were listening through the window in your mom’s room.” Anya said matter of fact.

“Thanks…it saves me from telling you about it.” Buffy sighed, and took a seat in the new stained wood rocking chair her mother had bought her.

“No problem, but remember if he still thinks it’s Angel’s you can go to Maury…I love that show. The ‘whose my baby’s daddy shows?’ are the best.” Anya smiled.

“You would.” Xander said with a remorseful frown.

*

Spike sat in the motel room that night, tears in his eyes, his thoughts confused. A knock on the door surprised him, and although he knew better, he hoped it was Buffy. “Come in.” He called out.

“I can’t help but wonder why you’ve chose to live here when there’s a perfectly good house that I have all to myself.” Giles said upon entrance, Joyce close behind.

“What do you want?” The stubborn blonde asked.

“Spike, I know that keeping the baby a secret from you was wrong, but you have to understand…Buffy wanted it for your own good.” Joyce said.

“And what good is that? Having her push me away, and letting me think it was because of someone else, or the possibility that I could have missed the birth of my first child.” Spike stood with anger.

“Calm down, son.” Giles ordered.

“I will not be calm. I’ve lost my girl, my life, and my last two hundred dollars to stay here for a week.” He raised his arms so they’d look around the dimly lit, tattered motel room. “Tell me that she made things better.”

“If you’ll just come back with us, you can fix this.” Joyce pleaded.

Spike looked over their clothes. Joyce wore a black cocktail dress, while Giles wore a suit. “Looks like you’re off somewhere important. Don’t let me keep you.” He walked to the open door and opened it wider.

“Are you sure?” Giles asked.

“Positive.” Spike didn’t meet his father’s eyes.

“If you decide to resolve this, Buffy has an appointment at the doctor’s office tomorrow at four. She’s been having a lot to check on the baby since her break down.” Joyce explained.

“Breakdown?” Spike inquired worriedly.

“When Buffy was in the hospital…she was overstressed and the baby was in distress. He was almost lost.” Joyce explained.

“He? It’s a boy? He’s a boy?” Spike felt the excitement take over. Joyce smiled warmly. “Thank you.” He said with a nod, as the duo left.

A boy. He was going to have a baby boy. He couldn’t allow anything to get in the way of his role as a father. He wasn’t his mother, and was certainly going to work on things with Buffy unlike his father.

*

“Buffy?” Dawn knocked on the door to her sister’s bedroom, and entered when there was no answer. She often did so, but in unusual fashion, she was baring gifts.

It had been hours since Xander and Anya left, and Buffy was still seated in the rocking chair. In a gentle slumber, she awoke at the creak of the door. “Dawn?” She questioned softly.

“I have a present!” Dawn said giddily, handing her sleepy sister a spoon and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Chip.

Buffy considered rejecting the offer, but her stomach refused to allow her. She gave her younger sibling a smile, and accepted the offer. “It’s times like this that I thank God for little sisters.”

Dawn giggle, sitting on Buffy’s bed with a sigh, her own pint in hand. She looked over at the half built crib. “Crib not going so good?” She questioned.

“Nope, but hey, if anything the baby can sleep with me until he’s eighteen.” Buffy thought aloud.

“And be emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.” Dawn interjected. “Plus, when you and Spike get your own place, the baby will need his own-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…slow down there speedy…at this point, Spike and I aren’t even together.” Buffy said, taking a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

“Than why did he just call, and tell me to let you know that he’ll be here at three to take you to your appointment?” Dawn questioned.

Anger seeped down to her gut, and she received a firm kick from her unborn son. She doubled over for a second, and Dawn rushed to her side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, he just doesn’t like me being mad at his daddy. Gave me a hell of a hit.” Buffy assured Dawn to go back to her seat. “Spike isn’t taking me to my appointment without talking to me first, therefore Angel’s taking me.”

“Why do you have to be such a bitch about everything? You’re letting your hormones take over, and you have to realize that Spike’s trying. If not for you, for your son. Learn how to do the same Buffy.” Dawn let out a small, “humph,” and exited the confines of the room.

Buffy stood in a daze, tears flooding her eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered to herself aloud. Deep in her gut she could felt the struggle she was having on her emotions, but she couldn’t control it, and she didn't have control over the fact that her need for Spike caused her to push him away.

*A/N: First, I’d like to explain Buffy’s behavior. Yes, although odd, you have to understand that when there’s a pregnancy, your emotions run high as hell. Hormones take over your body, and you’re like a crazy person. Buffy is running on pure emotion. She’s so young, and scared about the life that she’s going to give her son, and that causes her to act irrational. As for Joyce’s coddling, you have to also understand that Buffy went through a hard time with the stress, which she caused herself, but what good will it do if people give her more stress. There’s a reason for everything in this story. I also forgot that the title of this story is Alanis Morrisettes new single “Everything.” Maybe listening to the song will help you understand where this is going. I’m not hating on the reviewers. I enjoy every opinion, and love when people give such great opinions of the story (shippy.) Please, more input, and thanks to Ash for betaing!!!*

Chapter Eleven: Our Lives

Buffy greeted Angel at the front door, wearing a lilac sundress, and white Adidas sneakers. Her short straight loose hair was parted and held back by a white headband. “Hey Angel, you’re a half hour early.” She forced a smile. It was only 2:30pm.

“Hey, you’re looking really good.” He attempted to change the subject when she gave him a look. “Sorry, I was just checking…”

“To see if Spike was here?” She questioned, and he nodded. “Nope. He did make an appearance last night, though.”

“What did he want?” Angel attempted to sound as casual as possible.

Buffy stepped outside and took a seat on the porch swing and Angel sat beside her. “You know, the first time I realized that he was all I needed in my life was on the porch. Of course, I didn’t listen to myself for a while, but when he kissed me that day, it was like being in another universe.” She was dazed as she spoke of the day, and her sister’s tricks with her queer little boyfriend.
“I couldn’t escape him, and he was stuck in my head, in my dreams.” She looked at the brooding man before her, her eyes apologizing for going on of her former love. “It was never like that between us Angel.” She spoke honestly.

“How was it than, Buffy?” He questioned with hurt.

“It was like, I was alone until you came around, but after a little while you faded away and I was alone again. Knowing that Spike loves me, and feeling that he always will, helps me, but you had me lusting after you. You like the game of cat and mouse, while Spike goes in for his territory and makes sure he gets what he wants.”

“Before you push me away, Buffy, I wanted to tell you that I’m moving to Upstate New York next month to go to Cornell, and I want you to come with me, you and the baby. You can give birth there.” His announcement took her back.

“Angel…Spike is here, now.” Buffy said, folding her hands on her stomach, her eyes wide.

“But he can’t give you what I can…my parents have a house out there, and if you come they’ll help us out as much as possible.” He seemed to be pleading.

“I’m not going to live off your parents, Angel. That’s first, and second; I told you in the beginning that this couldn’t go any farther than friendship. You’re going to have to except that.” She was strong and confident.

Angel hung his head in defeat. “I just want to love you.”

“As much as I wish I could turn my back on Sunnydale, and love you in return, I can’t. My family is here, and my life. Spike’s here, too, and I’m not about to lose him again.” She couldn’t believe the words as they came out of her mouth. ‘I must be drugged off of those vitamin pills the doctor gave me.’

“I understand. I won’t bring it up again,” he stood and forced a smile. “Why don’t we go have lunch before we head to your appointment?”

“That won’t be necessary.” Spike stomped up the porch; white Nikes replacing his combat boots. He wore loose blue jeans, and a baby blue button down with a white shirt under. His hair was also MIA.

Buffy stared with wide eyes at the newly faded brunette, and his sudden change in style. “Spike?” She hesitated, unable to believe that it was him.

“It’s me, luv. Just thought I’d look a little more…mature for this appointment.” He announced. The thought had occurred to him the night before. If he was going to be a father, it was time that he grew up.

He paid a visit to Giles at the gallery, and discussed a few things. The older man lent him money for new clothes and a hair cut, then offered him a job in a times slot that wouldn’t effect his going to college.

“What’s he doing here?” Angel questioned, his jaw clenched.

“I’m taking the mother of my child to her appointment.” Spike announced, as Buffy just stood there with wide eyes, staring at him.

“Your car is too dangerous for Buffy to be in, in her state.” Angel attempted to stop him from taking Buffy.

“I borrowed my dad’s car, mate.” Spike held up the keys to his father’s Jeep Cherokee.

“As long as it’s not the one your mother died in,” the words slipped passed his lips without thought, and before Spike could get his punch in, Buffy was hitting the bulky man, pushing him down the stairs.

“How dare you talk about Jenny like that!? Get out…and if you ever want to be let into this house again, you better think of a grand apology, because I will give Spike a chance to get to you.” Buffy yelled, punching Angel where she could.

It wasn’t long before Spike was restraining her, and Angel was off in his Corvette. “That was even more proof that that man is a right bastard. People don’t change Buffy.” He said when she was still, and staring into his eyes.

“Look at you.” She scoffed.

“What about me?” Spike questioned.

“You’re not you anymore…look what you’re wearing…I mean it’s a nice change from black, but I didn’t fall in love with you like this. I fell in love with a bad boy. If I wanted this, I would have chose Riley. And your hair…” Her voice trailed off.

“I just wanted to show you how I’ve changed for you.” Spike said sadly.

“I know you have, Spike, but your change goes much deeper than what’s on the outside, so please, go back, and let your hair grow out again.” She seemed to be pleading.

“Is that what you want pet?” His breath tickled her neck.

“I won’t touch you until it’s all back to normal.” She announced.

“It’ll be back in two weeks, but I’ll die a little each day that I can’t kiss you.” He put a hand over his heart.

“You deserve to suffer for changing your appearance this way.” Buffy looked up at him with dreamy eyes, and pulled herself away from him. “If we don’t hurry we’ll be late.” She announced.

“We got an hour to get there, luv, and it’s fifteen minutes away.” He looked at his watch.

“You’re treating your son and I to McDonalds on the way.” She announced happily, walking to the car.

*

“The old man’s going to complain that his auto smells like fries.” Spike announced as they pulled into the parking lot of Sunnydale Prenatal Facilities.

“I just don’t understand why you almost barfed from the smell.” Buffy looked over at the Brit warily. “Are you pregnant?” She asked with a small grin.

“No…just worked with fish and chips for a little too long…” He got out of the car, and went to her side to open the door.

“You had a job?” Buffy asked in amazement.

He sighed as she stepped out, and stood in front of him. He smoothed a hand over her hair, noticing that she cut it and smiled. “I was willing to do anything to get back to you.”

“You were trying to by a ticket to get back to me?” She questioned in aw.

“Yeah, pet. Especially after you made me believe that you had another bloke on the side.” Spike put a hand to her cheek.

“I did have someone else on the side.” She stepped around him with a hand on her belly. The loss of touch was painful, but she put the feeling aside. She had to focus on her child with all her might, or she’s stress herself into miscarriage.

Spike followed after looking up to the heavens for a little help.

Upon entrance everyone greeted Buffy. “Buffy, see you at lamas class on Thursday?” Lilah Morgan asked with a hand on her belly.

“Yeah, def. How’s your husband?” Buffy took a seat beside the other expecting mother with a smile, and Spike stood by the door uncomfortably.

“Knox is fine…working hard at UC Sunnydale. Will we be seeing you there after the baby?” Lilah questioned with a smile.

Buffy looked forward, unable to answer the question.

“She’ll make it there. I’ll make sure to it that she’ll be in on time for the winter semester.” Spike said with a smile, and Buffy couldn’t help but return it.

“Who’s this gentleman?” Lilah questioned.

“The father.” Buffy replied, and Spike came to her side and took her hand.

“What happened to the other brooding young man?” Lilah asked.

“He was just a friend.” Buffy looked up to Spike with a nod.

“Buffy Summers,” Ben called from the office door. “Where’s Angel?” He questioned, looking over Spike.

“Angel won’t be coming with me anymore. This is Spi-William. He’s the father.” Buffy replied.

With wide eyes Ben signaled the couple to join him. “And Maury didn’t have to help you out with that one?” His smile was full of amusement.

“Nope, always knew William was the father. Angel was just taking his place while he finished school in London.” Buffy explained.

“Yeah, mate. Had to make sure my girl was safe.” Spike ensured the man in blue smocks.

“Angel took great care of her…almost as though she was his.” Ben’s comment caused Spike’s jaw to clench.

“Don’t let it upset you…he really was good, and he didn’t try a thing. Besides, I’m not you girl anymore.” Buffy said to her non-bleached man.

“Yet,” Spike said, as Buffy went into a small room and changed out of her clothes and into a hospital gown.

She came back into the room and sat on cold hospital table, putting her legs up on the stirrups. Spike freaked when he saw Ben sit between his love’s legs, after putting a paper-like blanket over them.

“What the bloody hell-“

“He’s just checking to see if I’m dilated. Trust me, I freaked the first time he asked me to spread them.” Buffy assured him.

“Everything looks fine.” Ben said, cautiously. The last thing he needed was a beat down. He carefully lifted Buffy’s gown to expose her belly, her waist covered by the blanket. He squirted the cerulean jelly on her stomach, and switched on the machine. Putting a small, wired patch on her swollen stomach, the room filled with a fast paced beat.

“What’s that?” Spike questioned looking around the room.

“The baby’s heart beat.” Buffy replied, reaching for his hand.

Spike filled with wonder and amazement as a small remote like contraption was placed on her abdomen, and the baby’s picture filtered to the screen. “Bloody hell…” He was in awe of the sight before him.

“Since it’s Will’s first time seeing the baby, I’ll point everything out. There’s an arm, a leg, the head, and below that is the penis. A beautiful boy.” Ben looked up at the parents, and Buffy smiled while Spike stared. “I’ll be back in a few, give you a little time to yourselves.”

Upon the doctor’s exit, Spike spoke. “We made this Buffy…he’s all ours.”

“I know…it’s amazing. I didn’t think this was something I wanted…but then when I thought of our love and how we shared it, I knew even though he was expected, he was no accident.” Buffy said, and Spike looked down at her glowing face.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said before she could stop him. “I love you, and I will have you as my wife.”

“Oh really?” Buffy questioned with a sad grin.

“Don’t care if I have to drag you to the buggering alter. After the baby is born, you better start planning our wedding.” He was set in his decision and although she was hesitant on the outside, her insides were jumping for joy.

*A/N: Not many reviews for the last chapter…come on guys…where’s your Spuffy spirit. There will be more soon, so get ready. This chapter is just a little comical. Please lemme know what you think…plus THANX ASH, YOU’RE THE GREATEST! Thanx Also for picking out the name Ash.*

Chapter Twelve: Try

Buffy sat in the kitchen the following morning, eating a bowl of banana Cheerios. Joyce came rushing down the steps, ready for work, and was surprised to see her agile daughter.

“Morning Mom.” Buffy said, taking in a full scoop of cereal.

“Buffy, I’m surprised to see you awake. You’re usually in bed until twelve.” Joyce glanced at the clock on the microwave, and it read 9 o’clock.

“Yeah, I just felt like moving around.” Buffy smiled at her mother.

“You seem much happier with Spike around.” Joyce noticed the coffee was already made, and poured herself a cup. “I hope you haven’t been drinking that, it’s bad for the baby.”

“Nope, I made it for you. I am happier that Spike is here…he’s giving me the strength I needed most.”

“I may be babying you a bit now, but once he comes, Buffy, it’s not going to be all fun and games.” Joyce warned.

“You think I don’t know that?” Buffy questioned, attempting to control her emotions. “Everyday since I found out that I was pregnant, I’ve thought of nothing else, but what I could possibly offer this baby. I have nothing, Mom.” She felt tears burn her eyes.

“You have love…and you have me. You know that if you can’t get on your feet for a little while I’m here, and you’ll be working in the gallery fulltime, once you’re up to it. Spike’s starting today,” Joyce, informed her.

“Spike’s working at the gallery?” Buffy questioned, amazed.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t told you. If all goes well, Rupert and I will be on our way to New York, a few months after the baby is born. We’re planning on opening a second gallery.” Joyce’s eyes brightened with excitement.

“Are you serious?” Buffy asked proudly.

“Yes, and you and Spike will be able to keep this one intact until we get back.” Joyce finished her coffee, and smiled warmly at her oldest child.

Buffy stood excitedly. “I can’t believe you’re trusting me to do this!”

“All in time, Buffy. Just make sure the baby comes out healthy, and you’ll have your whole life ahead of you. You, Spike, and the baby will do wonderful.” At Joyce’s last words, Buffy felt better than she had in months.

*

“Marriage? Like ring on the finger, marching down the isles marriage?” Willow questioned, as she sat on Buffy’s bed with a book of baby names.

“Yup…the big M…I never thought it would be offered, especially not by him.” Her nose crinkled with joy.

“What was your answer?” Willow flipped through the pages carefully.

“I didn’t give him one. It was hard too, since the proposal was more of a demand.” Buffy scowled a bit.

Willow shrugged off the conversation, not wanting to get tangled in the situation. “How about Donald?”

“Don, Donnie...too New Kids On The Block. Those posters are starting to date me.” Buffy looked up at the poster of the formerly famous 80’s pop group and stuck out her tongue in disgust.

“Don’t worry…they’ll be replaced with baby pictures soon enough.” Willow stated, looking through for another name. “Brandon?”

“Too 90210.” Buffy replied.

“Earl?”

“Too old sounding.”

“Steve?”

“Too common.”

“Jonathan?”

“Wasn’t he kinda geeky in high school?” She felt like it was miles away.

“Joshua?”

Buffy contemplated it for a second. If the baby has Spike’s eyes… “Perfect… Joshua William Giles.”

“I wonder if the guys are doing this good.” Willow said with a smile, as she scribbled the name down on a piece of paper.

*

“Paul?” Xander questioned impatiently, the same book Willow had at the house with Buffy.

“Want my son to sound like some sort of wanker?” Spike questioned, as he organized the paperwork on his father’s desk. It was closing time at The Gallery, and Spike was with Oz and Xander, trying to pick out name.

“What about something cool, like Dirk or Sky?” Oz questioned simply.

Spike pondered the thought of an unlikely name. “For a hippy, yes, for me, no.”

“Because Spike is such a normal name.” Xander huffed.

“How did you get that nickname?” Oz asked curiously.

“I know how,” Xander raised his hand with a scowl. “He used to spike the ball in my face during gym class. Broke my nose once, knocked me unconscious three times.”

“Sorry bout that mate.” Spike said honestly.

Oz couldn’t contain his smirk. “He really gave it to you, huh?”

“Oh, yeah…” Xander said looking down at the book again. “How about Randy?”

“Randy Giles? Are you mad? Might as well call him Horny Giles, or Desperate for a Shag Giles! You must really want him to despise me!” Spike put up his hands in defeat. “Let’s leave this to the women.”

“Don’t you want to take part in naming your first kid?” Xander asked.

“I’m sure they’ll have lots more afterward.” Oz said, his smirk still avid.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The brunette questioned curiously.

“I’ve proposed to Buffy.” Spike replied.

“Did she accept?” Xander stood with a bit of excitement. He had his moments with Spike, but at this point, he wanted nothing more than for Buffy to be happy.

“Not yet, but she will.”

“What makes you so sure of that?” Xander continue prodding.

“Dude, trust him.” Oz chimed in, his hands in his pockets as he stood. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind.

Buffy and Spike were going to be together, and Spike would die trying.

*A/N: It’s been a tough week for me so far…curious why, check out the live journal (Sabrina_Rose). Other than that I hope you enjoy the next couple of installment. Until Buffy is due, I’m going to incorperate what’s going on with everyone’s life around her. They are the ones who will be there after the baby, so there’s some need to subtract a few people, and do some adding. Thanx to Ash, not only for betaing, but also for being a friend.*

Chapter Thirteen: Hold On

As the weeks passed, and the end of August neared, Spike found himself in the midst of planning a surprise baby shower for Buffy. She was approaching her ninth month in three weeks, and the baby was about ready to join the non-couple. They spent their nights at her house, watching movies, while Buffy pigged out. But Buffy was yet to allow Spike back into her life fully.

Spike sat in his bedroom with a laptop on his lap, and his father at his side. “What the fucking bloody hell is a Diaper Genie?” He questioned out loud, looking through the Toys R Us gift registry for baby showers. He put a hand through his hair, happy that it was back to normal, a tousled mess of bleached curls.

“Something I wish they had back when you were a tot.” Giles said wistfully. He looked over at his son and smiled. “Even though your mother chose to abandon us, I never regret having you here with me.”

“Has she ever looked for me? Not that it matters because she can’t be what Jenny was to me.” Spike ensured the older man.

“She has…ever since you were born, I’ve sent her pictures, but it wasn’t until we came to Sunnydale, that she wanted to meet you. I was reluctant, and decided that I’d tell you about her when you had your own child, and let you decide whether or not you’d like to meet her.” Giles explained.

“Where does she live?” Spike asked out of curiosity.

Out of habit, Giles took off his glasses and began cleaning them with his shirt out of habit. “LA.” He replied simply. When Spike didn’t reply, Giles reluctantly said, “If you want to meet her, I’ll understand.”

“I’ll think about it.” Spike turned his attention back to the portable computer before him.

*

“Damn, B, that belly sure is getting big. Is there a basketball under there?” Buffy was surprised to see her cousin sitting at the kitchen table in her house, her aunt across from the brunette.

“Faith…what are you doing here?” Buffy questioned.

“Buffy, is that any way to greet your cousin?” Her mother came in from upstairs, with an envelope in hand.

“Sorry. Hi, Aunt Maggie, Faith…what are you doing here?”

“Just picking something up from your mother.” Maggie replied. She avoided eye contact with the teen, ashamed of her current state.

“Mom’s a little disappointed at the mini-Spike you’re carrying.” Faith let out bluntly, and received a dirty look from the older blonde.

Buffy looked at her aunt for a reply.

“Faith will never become something, but I had so much hope in your ability, Buffy. How are you going to raise this child and get a proper education?” Maggie asked.

Buffy took a seat beside her cousin, noticing for the first time that Faith was no longer wearing her usual black tightness, and red gloss. “I’m going to take care of the gallery until spring semester, and go to UC Sunnydale. Spike will be doing the same, except managing both college and the gallery at the same time.” Buffy explained.

“It’s nice to see that you have taken the illusion into consideration.” Maggie stood, and nodded at her younger sister to join her on the porch. Joyce gave her daughter a small, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll straighten her ass out,’ look and followed Maggie outside.

“Mom’s a real bitch…but things have been getting a little better.” Faith said, standing and searching the freezer for something microwaveable. Finding a Hot Pocket, she ignored the name scrawled on the plastic packaging.

“You seem to have…”

“Changed?” Faith questioned with a smile. “I don’t know. I woke up one day and decided that I didn’t like where life was taking me.”

“And Drusilla.” The name tasted bitter on Buffy’s tongue.

Faith shrugged. “Her father, Mr. Tavers…he was shipped to France on business, so she left…but not before I put a few bruises on her.”

“What happened?” Buffy asked curiously.

“Angel dumped her, and me…she blamed you…started talking shit…especially when she found out that Angel took you to your appointments. She bad mouthed you, and I may not like you as much as I should, you’re still my cousin.” Faith explained. Then, with the beep of a horn, Faith was on her way to the back door, Hot Pocket in hand. “That’s Mom, ready to go. Auntie Joyce must have really given it to her, because she does not looked happy. I’ll see you later, B.”

“Faith,” Buffy stopped the brunette from walking out the door. “Thanks.” She replied simply, and her cousin smiled in return, while leaving.

Buffy sat deep in thought, the changes her family was going through, when Andrew came out of no where and looked in the fridge. Him, being Dawn’s best friend, always popped up from time to time. It was as though he lived in the house.

“Um…Buffy, I called dibs on the last Hot Pocket and it seems to be missing. I know you’re pregnant and everything but-“

Faith interrupted the blonde boy, when she popped in, Hot Pocket in her mouth. “Forgot the envelope.” She said with the mouthful, grabbed the envelope and left.

“Hey!” Andrew whined, causing Buffy to roll her eyes at him.

*

“What brand of diapers do you prefer? The fancy brand, or the affordable kind?” Anya questioned, as she pushed the cart in Wal Mart.

“Why are we buying diapers? The baby isn’t even due for another few weeks.” Dawn said, her arms crossing her chest as she walked.

“Your mother wants us to be prepared. Buffy could explode at any second.” Anya informed the younger Summers girl.

“Thanks, Ahn, love the visual effect.” Buffy said sarcastically.

“No problem.” Anya smiled brightly. “So…have you decided on a name?”

“Yeah…Joshua William Giles.” Buffy said with a wistful smile.

“It’s a strong name. How about marriage?” Anya prodded.

“He asked…sort of, but I’m not sure yet.” Buffy shrugged, walking beside the newly brunette.

“Xander hasn’t…” Anya frowned.

“You two haven’t been hanging much…is everything okay?” Buffy questioned worriedly.

Anya shook her head. “Ever since you announced your pregnancy, things have been a bit shaky.”

“Why?” Buffy asked, stopping Dawn from putting a thirty pack of Snickers in the car, than changing her mind when a craving hit her.

“I was pregnant.” Anya replied with a shrug.

Buffy looked at her friend with surprise in her eyes. “What happened?”

“I wasn’t ready…and neither was Xander. He was close to becoming a pizza boy for the rest of his life.” Anya said, annoyance in her voice.

“But he got accepted to UC Sunnydale to study architecture.” Buffy said.

“Yes, but this happened after Halloween, when Xander was ” Anya saw the baby wipes, and put a few packages in the cart.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy had obvious tears in her eyes.

“It’s not your fault…he was just so excited about helping you with the baby…ever since we’ve been fighting a lot more. I offered him many orgasms, and the chance to make another baby…but he turned me down. I haven’t really spoken to him since.” Anya explained, stopping at the baby-clothing isle.

“Are you sure you’re okay with helping me do this?” Buffy asked, as she got ready to buy some onesies.

“Don’t worry…things will look up.” Anya attempted to ensure herself more than anything.

“I know I’ve been going through a lot, but remember that I’m here for anything…you’re still important to me, as well as Xander. Hold on, everything will get better for everyone.” They stopped walking as Buffy hugged her friend. “I tell myself everyday.”

*A/N: Sorry it took so long to get to this…I’m running short on some ideas. If you have any suggestions, or comments, please don’t be shy. Thanks to Ash for wonderful betaing, and ENJOY!*

Chapter Fourteen: Beautiful Disaster

“Just like that?” Buffy questioned, her arms around her best friend.

“Just like that.” Willow sniffled, the tears streaking her face. “He said he loved me, Buffy, but he was with her…they were together.”

“There has to be an explanation…didn’t he give you an explanation?” Buffy couldn’t believe that, after three years Oz had cheated on Willow. They seemed to love each other so much. Oz worshipped the ground she walked on.

“I didn’t stay to hear him say, ‘She tripped and landed on my dick.’” Willow wiped her eyes, while pulling away from Buffy.

“Willow!” She was shocked at the redhead’s language. She put a hand on her belly and sat on her rocking chair. The crib was built, and was set up across from her bed.

“Sorry, Buffy.” Willow took a seat on the bed.

“I know you’re hurting, but you have to talk to him.” Buffy assured her. There was a knock at the bedroom door.

“You’re right,” Willow agreed, opening the door to see Spike standing there. “Bye Spike,” and she was off to face up to the truth.

“What was that all about, pet?” Spike questioned.

*

“Did you know?” Buffy asked, after explaining the situations that were surrounding them.

“Harris? A father? Oz? Cheating? Bloody hell.” Spike put a hand through his tousled hair. The duo sat on the back porch of Buffy house, enjoying the last of Summer’s breeze.

“I thought the same thing. They’re my friends, and if their relationships are going downhill, whose to say that ours won’t?” Buffy didn’t mean to, but she asked the question out loud.

Spike got on his knees before her, and took her hands in his. “Buffy, luv, please don’t talk like that. We’re different people, we set our future. Don’t let what’s happening to them get in the way of what we’re going to accomplish together. We’re starting a family, Buffy, and we will be together.” He seemed to be pleading.

“Are you telling me that you wouldn’t be happier if I had gotten an abortion? That things wouldn’t have been easier?” Tears formed in her eyes because the thought had come to her.

“Things would have been easier, Buffy, but I wouldn’t give up what I have for the world. I want this baby, I want this with you, Buffy. Marry me.” It wasn’t long before he was pulling a ring out of his jacket pocket. It was two carrots of diamond goodness.

“Spike, how did you…” She was at a loss for words.

“Just say yes, pet. If not for me, than for out son.”

*

“So that’s it, you’re just going to leave?” Willow questioned, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Yeah…I think it would be best.” Oz said. He couldn’t be in Sunnydale anymore, he had to find his track of life. Veruca had been a mistake, a drunken mistake. But he couldn’t bare the sight of Willow hurting.

“Don’t you love me?” She cried.

“My whole life, I’ve never loved anything more.” He was attaching to her in a hug of passion and pain. He inhaled her scent deeply, wishing that this wasn’t the way.

“Oz…oh Oz…I’ll miss you.” Part of her understood. He had made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. The other part was being selfish, wanting him there.

She got out of his van, and began her walk home at a slow pace. Her first relationship had now come to a brick wall of pain, and crashing. She couldn’t help but remember falling in love, what a beautiful disaster.

“There is a life waiting for me beyond Oz. There’s college, the fun of helping Buffy with the baby, and, YAY college…” She mumbled aloud to herself, attempting to make herself feel better.

*

“Marry?” Buffy repeated the word aloud. “Spike…I love you…I always will, but I have to think about this.”

“What’s there to think about, luv?”

“The longest relationship I’ve had was with Mr. Gordo. I’ve had him since I was four, and we had this really bad fight when I was nine that resulted in the ripping of his head…so don’t talk to me about relationships. It took me forever to get over that, and Mom fixed him quick.” Buffy had the stuffed pig in her hands.

“You’re going to have to deal with a much longer relationship than that Buffy, and you can’t rip off the baby’s head, so I suggested that you marry me, so I can be here for you all the time.” Spike attempted convincing.

“This isn’t just something you say yes to. This isn’t a romance novel, or a cheesy fairytale. We have to raise this baby together regardless of whether we’re married or not, nothing can change that.” Buffy argued. “Why do you want this so bad? Why do you want to turn this into a beautiful disaster?”

“Because my mother didn’t die, she left! She didn’t want me so she left me with my father and disappeared.” He blurted out, and burst into tears. “If we’re married, you can’t leave me.”

She rushed to him, putting his head to her chest. “I’d never do that to you…never. How could you think that? I love you.” She murmured the words over and over, attempting to comfort him. “Tell me everything…I want to know.”

*A/N: Where has all the reviewers gone? Come on, let me know what you think, and to the faithful fans who review all the time, thanks…especially Angela, she’s been here for every chapter. I hope you like what I have in store. Let me know…*

Chapter Fifteen: As Long As I Live

The sky seemed to open, as Willow walked. The rain soaked through her clothes, as she came upon the park near Sunnydale High. She headed for the swing set and swung for a bit, deep in thought.

“First love, first real kiss, first…everything. All down the drain…love is nothing but a big sobfest of hurt and pain. No more love for me, I’m anti-love.” She said aloud to herself, in attempt to comfort herself.

The sound of footsteps on the wet grass caught the redhead’s attention. She stood abruptly, and spun around to see a tall brunette in a long skirt holding an umbrella. She seemed slightly started by Willow’s sudden cautiousness.

“S-sorry…I-I didn’t know anyone w-was here.” She stuttered.

“I-it’s okay. It’s a free park. You can walk if you’d like. It’s not like anyone was here but little old lonely me. Sulking and wallowing in my sorrows.” Willow babbled, taking her seat, again.

“A-are you okay?” The girl asked. She was shy and quiet, but concerned.

“Sorry.” Willow attempted a smile. “I’ve had a bad day.”

“I-I guess I’ll just leave you to that.” She took it as her cue to leave, and began walking away. But she seemed to call to Willow.

“Wait.” Willow called out to her, and the girl turned. Willow smiled reassuringly. “Want to wallow with me?”

With a coy smile, the girl replied, shrugging. “Sure.” She made her way to the swing beside the redhead. “I’m Tara.”

“Willow.” And with that they began swinging together.

*

“She left, Buffy. She said she was going to the market and never came back.” Spike sobbed, his head resting on Buffy’s chest.

She felt her own tears catch up to her. “But I though she died.” Her words were a whisper.

“I thought so too. He kept it from me, Buffy. He didn’t want to hurt me, so he let me believe she was buried, when she’s here, in California, fucking living it up in LA.” Now, his anger was apparent.

His anger was what frightened her most. He couldn’t control it, no matter how hard he tried. “Calm down, Spike. She doesn’t know what she’s missed.” Buffy cupped his face in both of her hands. “I love you.” Se leaned in and gently brushed her lips to his.

He took the moment, to explore her mouth. His tongue tangled with hers, and she moaned into his mouth, relishing in what she’d missed. Her hands left his face, and ran down his body, down the tightness of his abs; to the member she missed more than anything. She expertly undid the button on his jeans, and reached further down taking his thick cock into her hands.

“Buffy…” He moaned into her mouth, as she gently pumped him. “We shouldn’t.”

She stopped kissing him to look into his eyes. “We can, if you’re careful.”

“Marry me.” He was looking directly into her green eyes, searching for an answer.

“I can’t…” She whispered, and it was enough to have him, running from her hold, although it was hard.

He quickly zipped up his pants. “I don’t understand. You love me. You said it.” He yelled.

“I do, I’m never going to deny it, and I have no need to lie. But you’re doing this because you think I’ll leave you with the baby, when I can never do that.” She yelled back.

“That’s not the only reason, pet. I love you too. More than life itself. When I was in England, so far from you, I felt as though I died each day that I was away.” He admitted, tears present in his eyes, once again.

“Well, just as you have your reasons, I have my own.” Buffy said.

“Oh, really? Than why don’t you let me know?” Spike put a hand through his already tousled hair.

“My father…” She gulped at the mention. “He left my mother for his secretary.”

“That’s easy, I don’t have a secretary.”

“You’re not listening…we’re so young, Spike, and to jump into this because of the baby-“

“We’re in love.”
“We are, but we may not be forever. Forever is not real. It never will be.” She was getting emotional, and she collapsed to the floor in tears. “I love you so much, it hurts, and I don’t want to lose you, by rushing things.”

He was at her side, allowing her to cry on his chest. “Shhh…pet, I’m sorry. Please, don’t cry. The baby. I’m so sorry.” He whispered words of love, and comfort, in order to calm her down. Than he led her to the bed, and they lay down beside each other, her head on he chest, as he brushed his fingers through her hair. “I’ll wait for as long as I live.”

*A/N: Well…you’re all going to enjoy this one. Please…I’m begging…feedback. Let me know what you want, and that you like.*

Chapter Sixteen: Spend My Life With You

Spike awoke with Buffy’s head resting on his chest, as she snored lightly. He smiled to himself, and gently shifted the blonde into a more comfortable position. Then he stood and stretched his aching back. Stifling a yawn, and scratching his stomach, Spike made his way out of the bedroom, and toward the bathroom.

Joyce stopped abruptly at the sight of the bleached blonde leaving her daughter’s room. “Spike…what are you doing?”

“Hey, Mrs. Summers…I’m sorry I didn’t let you know…nothing happened, especially, since the obvious…and I would never disrespect your house in such a way…again.” He babbled.

“No need to get nervous…it’s understandable that you’d keep Buffy company…just the all night thing…let me know next time.” Joyce said. “What I really meant was the baby shower…it’s tonight. Shouldn’t you be getting everything together?”

“Bloody hell!” Spike exclaimed, remembering.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get everything together in time.” Joyce said, and they were out the door.

*

“Spike?” Buffy questioned upon waking. She made her way out to the hallway, and called out. “Mom? Spike?”

Dawn suddenly popped her head out of her room, her body covered by the door. “They went out…together.”

“Mom and Spike?” Buffy questioned.

“Yup…She also said we have to go to the Bronze later…the owner ordered a picture from The Gallery and we have to deliver it.” Dawn informed her.

“But I don’t drive.” Buffy said.

“Xander’s coming to get us.”

“Why can’t Xander just go than?” Buffy questioned.

“Xander with one of the gallery’s most precious paintings…alone?” Dawn replied.

“Good thinking…what time?” Buffy asked.

“Around four…Mom bought you a new outfit…something you were eyeing at the mall the other day. She said you should wear it today, because after we go to the Bronze, we’re meeting her for lunch. It’s in her closet.” With that, Dawn went back into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Buffy walked carefully into her mother’s room, opening the closet with ease. There, hanging, was a pale pink baby doll dress that Buffy had fallen in love with, just the other day. With a squeal of happiness, she grabbed it out of the closet and ran to her room.

Dawn opened her door, just as Buffy closed hers’, dialing a number on the cordless phone. “Mom, yeah…she loved it. Everything’s set. We’ll be by four.” With a smile, Dawn went back into her room, to continue working on Buffy’s gift.

*

“God, Xander, can you drive any slower…we’re like, a half hour late.” Dawn complained from the backseat, Andrew at her side, nodding in agreement.

“Why did we bring him with us?” Buffy questioned, looking back at Andrew. She was feeling a bit moody.

“He’s the Dawnster’s pal, and my ever so vengeful girlfriend’s brother…I couldn’t just leave home.” Xander said.

“Plus, I, uh, threatened to burn things…and glue things together.” Andrew said with a slight smirk.

“Is that all?” Buffy questioned, rolling her eyes.

“Come on, Buffy…perk up…today is going to be a good day.” Dawn attempted to raise her sister’s spirit. “Plus, that dress looks really cute.”

“You think so?” Buffy smiled.

“Definitely…like Queen Amidala in Star Wars Episode Two, if she was pregnant with Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia…she’s beautiful.” Andrew said, a dreamy look on his face.

As they pulled up to the Bronze, Buffy recognized her mother’s Jeep.

“Hey! What’s the Geek Machine doing here?” She questioned, getting out of the car.

“It could be anyone’s car.” Xander replied, pulling a big box, wrapped in brown paper out of the car, as Dawn carried a wrapped picture frame with her. Buffy shrugged her shoulders, and walked towards the door.

“What did this guy buy?” She questioned, and Andrew opened the door for her.

Buffy’s heart jumped as everyone screamed, “SURPRISE!”

Spike, Joyce, and Giles stood on the stage, surrounded by presents. Everyone seemed to be there. Willow, Anya, Tucker, Illyria, Fred, Angel, Cordelia, Gunn, Lindsay, Faith, Aunt Maggie, Uncle Ethan, Clem, Lorne, Glory, Ben, and even people Buffy didn’t really recognize.

“Wow…” Buffy said with a smile, looking around at the people surrounding her.

*

“You surprised?” Buffy jumped slightly in the white wicker chair that she was seated in on the stage, when Spike whispered in her ear.

“Speechless…this wonderful…everything’s been wonderful.” Buffy said with a smile. She felt like a princess.

“Just wait, there are gifts.” Cordelia was suddenly at her side, holding Angel’s hand. “Congratulations…and thanks.” She said, upon Buffy’s shocked expression. “If you hadn’t let him go, he wouldn’t have noticed me.”

“Was that your reason for being so rude during high school?” Buffy questioned.

“Of course,” Cordelia replied, and Angel just smiled, as his girlfriend walked away.

“Buffy…you look beautiful.” He said, smiling at Buffy, and then glancing toward Spike.

“You do realize that she’s a superficial conceited person, right?” Buffy questioned.

“Yes…” Angel replied.

“Hey, it’s a step up from Drusilla.” Buffy stood to hug him.

“I’m sorry…for everything.” He glanced at Spike, hugging back gently.

“It’s okay…just…be happy.” She said, and sat back down. When Angel walked off, Buffy looked at Spike. “How much power did it take, not only for you to invite him, but to watch him hug me?”

“Hard…excruciatingly hard…” Spike said, looking into Buffy’s eyes.

“Present time!” Dawn hoped up on stage with the carefully wrapped frame.

“Prezzies!” Buffy exclaimed.

“See, just what you need.” Willow said, standing beside Tara.

“You are very, very wise. Now, gimme, gimme, gimme.” Buffy smiled.

“Calm down, dumbass.” Dawn handed Buffy the frame.

Buffy ripped open the paper, to reveal every sonogram she had taken so far, surround by pictures of her and Spike. There was even space for extra sonograms. She felt herself tear. “Dawn, it’s beautiful.”

Spike got sight of the gift, as well, and felt the emotions. He took it into his hands, and displayed it for all to see. There was an, ‘Aw…” throughout the crowd.

“Geez, guys, don’t get all movie of the week on me.” Dawn said.

*

Buffy sat at a table with her friends and family, Willow, introducing Tara.

“Tara is going to UC Sunnydale this fall.”

“Great, maybe I’ll see you there when I start in spring.” Buffy said with a smile.

“I-I hope so…th-thanks for inviting me.” Tara stuttered.

“Any friend of Willow’s is a friend of mine.” Buffy said with a smile.

Spike appeared out of nowhere, pulling Buffy out of her seat. Musiq Soulchild’s “Love,” played on the speakers, as the duo danced close.

“I love you, Buffy. Please-“

“Shhh…” Buffy put her finger to his lips. “Don’t ruin this…I love you, too. I want to spend my life with you.”

*A/N: Sorry it took me forever…I’ve been working so much lately, it’s amazing I got to it. I have another chapter coming soon. Please review, and let me know if you think Buffy and Spike are ready for the baby, because he may be here in two chapters.*

Chapter Seventeen: Overprotected

Spike drove his father’s carefully home. It was small, red, shiny, and shaped like a penis, so Joyce took some of the presents in her care, while Xander was helping with the rest.

Buffy sat on the passenger’s side, staring out the window. A gentle smile caressed her lips.

“We made out like bandits, luv.” Spike said, glancing at his soon to be bride, breaking the silence. “It was great of Willow to pitch in with Oz for the car seat. I just wish he could have been here.”

“Uh huh,” Buffy agreed quietly.

“She seemed to be doing fine without him. That new friend of hers is nice.” He attempted conversation.

“Uh huh.” She replied again.

“Just one more month and he’ll be here, luv, and we’ve got everything we need for the beginning.”

“Yeah.” She smiled at the thought, putting a hand over her belly.

With a slight frown, he pulled the car into the driveway of his house. “ Are you okay?” He asked, turning off the ignition.

She turned to him with a grin. “Fine.” She looked into his eyes, and put a hand to his cheek.

He nuzzled into her hand like a puppy, and leaned in to kiss her. She turned away without much thought, when she saw they were at his house.

“What are we doing here?” She asked.

“I have a surprise for you, luv. If you didn’t notice, my gift wasn’t in the pile you opened.” He got out of the car, and went over to her side to help her out.

“You’ve done so much, already. I have no idea what you could possibly give me.” She held his hand, as they walked to the front door.

“Not just me love,” he began as he opened the door, “my father, and your mum too.”

“It must be big.” She said, following him up the stairs.

“It is…” He said, stopping in from of an oak door. He looked at her, before pushing it open, and stepping in. He reached for the light, and she gasped.

The room was painted a pale blue; the carpet was plush and white, and the crib that had been in her room that same morning was now there, along with the gifts she’d received. “How?”

“It’s not done. I figured you’d like to decide where everything should go.” Spike said.

“I-I don’t understand.” Buffy stuttered.

“My dad was planning on selling it, he has an apartment near Main Street. I didn’t want to give the house up, and it’s paid for…everything. So after convincing him, he allowed me-us to be his tenant.” Spike explained.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” She said, following him to what was once Giles and Jenny’s bedroom. It was empty. “Or maybe not.”

Spike made his way to the windowsill, and picked up a black velvet box. “Buffy Summers, will you marry me?” He asked, getting on his knees.

“I will.” She replied with tears in her eyes, and he took her in his arms, and kissed her for the first time in months.

*

The next week went quickly, and Buffy and Spike spent it, moving Giles’ things out, painting, and moving. Everyone was treating her as though she was a fragile piece of glass that could break any second. It was stomping on her nerves, and Buffy was ready to explode.

She sat in the middle of her new bedroom, while Spike worked the roller. She was still sleeping in her bed at home, and avoided sexual contact with Spike, due to the fact that she was so close to giving birth.

“Buffy, you shouldn’t be in the room while Spike is painting. The baby can have problems if you inhale the fumes.” Joyce chided, coming into the bedroom with Dawn behind her.

“I’m fine, Mom.” Buffy rolled her eyes, and watched Spike’s actions. “Can I help?” The last couple of weeks were going to be a bitch if she made it through, especially since she was so antsy.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, pet. Maybe you should listen to your mum.” Spike suggested.

Buffy stood with a pout. “I’m pregnant, not a baby.”

“You sure look like one with that face.” Dawn chimed.

“Just forget it, I’ll get out of the stupid room, and I’ll find something to do.” Buffy began stomping down the stairs and out the front door.

Everyone ran after her, including Giles, who had been in the living room, packing away some old pictures.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Joyce questioned.

“For a walk. What, I can’t even go for a walk?” Buffy asked.

“Bloody hell, Buffy, you’re three weeks away from going into labor.” Spike put a hand through his hair.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t go for a fucking walk.” Buffy said angrily.

“It’s not a very good idea.” Giles took of his glasses and cleaned them with his shirt.

“Buffy, is that the language you plan to raise your son with?” Joyce asked angrily.

“Yeah, and I have a lot more fucking language where that came from. I’m eighteen years old, if I want to go for a fucking, walk, I’ll go for a fucking walk. You people don’t have to follow me everywhere. I’m tired of this shit.” With that, she began stomping away.

Joyce sighed, putting her fingers to her temples. “She’s going to be the death of me.”

“Bloody hormones.” Spike muttered.

“She can’t just go to the park alone…that baby could pop out any second.” Dawn said.

“I’ll go after her.” Spike handed over the roller he’d been panting with to Joyce, giving her an encouraging smile. Than, he ran after the blonde.

Buffy could hear his footsteps, knew it was him. “What do you want, Spike?”

“Buffy, luv, I’m going to be your husband, the father of your child…help me out here, and let me protect you.”

She stopped in her tracks, crossing her arms above her belly, and looking at him. “I can take care of myself. I can barely go to the bathroom with out you coming after me, telling me to be careful.”

“Because I don’t want you to hurt yourself. The tub is slippery.” Spike said.

“Don’t give me that…it’s because I was in the hospital, isn’t it?” She questioned, and Spike hesitated. “The baby’s fine, I’m fine…this labor is not going to kill me.”

“You’ve been making me nervous, moving around so much.” Spike said.

“I’m just impatient having him inside of me…I want to be a mother already.”

“You already are, luv…you’re taking care of him as we speak, protecting him in your body, giving him what he needs. Now, come back home, pet…go to my room in the attic and rest.” Spike suggested.

“If you say so.” Buffy sighed, taking Spike’s hand and following back to the house.

*A/N: Sorry about Buffy’s emotional detachment, but being pregnant is not easy. Your emotions are haywire…anyway, there is some happiness to come (far a little while), so enjoy! Please reveiw, and let me know what you think the future should have in store for Buffy and Spike...*

Chapter Eighteen: We’re Going To Get Through This

She sat impatiently in her old bedroom. All that was left was her bed, and that was going to go to the Giles’ residence as soon as Spike got off of work at the gallery. She was nervous…knowing that she would be sleeping in an empty house with Spike at her side. Her fiancé. That was the part that was scaring her.

She was only eighteen. Did she really want marriage? Was she looking forward to spending the rest of her life with him? She loved him, no doubt about that, and she wanted her son to grow up in a happy family, but how long would it be until they ended up like her parents, the silent dinners, the angry arguments…the secretary. It all remained a bad memory, locked in the back of her brain. Maybe things would change when the baby comes, maybe she feel like she was doing the right thing by marrying him.

“Buffster!” Xander’s voice broke through her thoughts.

“Hey, Xand! What are you doing here?” She questioned, standing from her bed, and hugging him.

“Dawn let me in…Anya and I have been…avoidy. What’s up with you? You looked like you were having serious thoughts.” Xander said.

Buffy nodded. “Yeah…a week and a half, and I won’t be carrying this watermelon.” She put a hand on her belly. “We’re going to move into the new house tonight…sleep there for the first time.”

“No hanky panky.” Xander warned, pointing a finger at her.

“Alexander Harris! I can’t have sex like this. Besides, it’s the last thing on my mind.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“What exactly is on your mind?” He questioned, pulling her to sit beside him on the bed.

Buffy looked around the empty room. “This…all of this. My life as a teenager, it’s over.”

“I felt the same when Anya told me she was pregnant, before the abortion. I couldn’t help but tell myself that I would be her husband, and be a better father than my own.” Xander had a faraway look on his face, as though he was picturing the white picket fence.

“What happened?” Buffy questioned.

“Reality happened…I know that I could give her a better life in five years than I can now.” He admitted.

Buffy nodded her head in agreement. “I don’t regret keeping the baby…I know that I love him, and I’ll never let him go, but I do wonder what would have happened if I wasn’t pregnant. Would Spike still have come back and proposed?”

“In all honesty, I think he would have, Buffy.” Xander said with a slight smile on his face. “He loves you more than anything. I know this not only because he tells me, but also because I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. If you’re not sure about marriage, decide now, before the baby is born.”

“You don’t see it in my eyes?” Buffy questioned.

“It’s a little cloudy.” He said sadly.

*

They stood together, looking at the room in awe. It was perfect. The carpet was beige, the curtains were maroon, the walls were a crème, and the bedspread was decorative with the same colors. The furniture was dark oak, and Buffy’s bed did the room justice. It wasn’t the room of a teenager; it was the room of a couple.

Buffy looked up at Spike with a smile. “It’s perfect.” She stated, her gaze shifting to the picture Dawn made her. She walked over to it, hanging on the wall, and reached up, her fingers gently going over a picture of her and Spike before he left…

“Why touch the picture, luv? The real thing is right here.” He said with a cocky smirk.

She turned, returning his grin, and made her way to him. “I miss that Spike.” She said.

“What Spike? What do you mean?” He questioned.

“Cocky, arrogant, conceded asshole Spike…I miss him.” She replied.

“Do you, now?” He questioned, playfully making his way to her.

“It’s the Spike I fell in love with.” She said.

“And you’re saying I’m not him anymore, pet?”

“I’m saying you’re hiding him because you think I’m too fragile to deal.”

“That’s bloody bullshit.” He didn’t understand why, but that comment pissed him off.

“No it isn’t,” she countered. “I know the real Spike, and he’s a man…a real man, and you’re just his shadow.”

“You’re calling me a pussy?” He questioned angrily.

“Well…you know what they say, you are what you eat.” She replied, jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood she’d created.

“Fuck you, Buffy. I’m going to my room.” He turned to walk out the door, her hand on his arm, halting him.

“What’s your problem? I make a comment and you runaway? This is your room, Spike.” She stated.

“Upstairs is still my rooms, luv, and until that baby is out of your stomach, and I can show you what a real man I am, I won’t be sleeping anywhere near you.”

*

She jolted awake in a cold sweat, the pain so threatening, her insides tightening. She got up, and tried to call his name, but nothing came out. She stood, stumbling out of the bedroom, and toward the stairs to the attic.

“Spike,” she whispered his name, knowing that time was not on her side.

He slept like a rock; she knew that, so she crawled up the stairs. She felt faint as she reached the top, and saw him lying on his side, facing the wall.

“Spike,” she attempted again, and he stirred. She made her way to the bed, and sat beside him, shaking him awake.

“Huh? What? What is it, Buffy?” He questioned sleepily.

“I-I think it’s happening.” She said; her face contorted with pain.

Spike shot out of bed, rushing to the stairs. He was half way down when he realized he left Buffy, and he was naked. “Buggering fucking hell!” He shouted running back up, stumbling around into flannel pajama bottoms, and helping Buffy down the stairs and into the waiting Desoto.

“We’re going to get through this.” He assured her, as she practiced her lamas.

*a/n: so here we go…it’s baby time! Enjoy and review…I need to know what you guys want with this story…I’m idea’d out…

Chapter Nineteen: You Are

Sunnydale Hospital’s waiting room was packed with family, and friends, as Buffy delivered her son with Spike at her side in the ER.

“Do ya’ll think she’s going to get through it okay?” Fred asked nervously. Her sister and she were visiting for the baby shower and the baby’s birth.

“Buffy’s strong…she can get through anything.” Xander ensured himself more than anyone else.

“Buffy and Spike are going to be parents.” The realization was hitting Willow like a ton of bricks.

“I’m going to be an aunt!” Dawn said excitedly.

Giles and Joyce looked at each other, the thought of being grandparents looming over their age.

“This is almost as exciting as Goku having his son Goten in the show Dragon Ball Z…almost.” Andrew said, receiving a smack upside the head from Anya.

“They see only the happiness within the baby, but what is of the happiness within themselves.” Illyria spoke, and all eyes shifted to her.

Xander raised his hand hesitantly. “I’ll give you a huh, and raise you a duh…”

“They’re in love, but there are clouds hanging of them, regret and hesitance. Those negative thought will ruin their relationship, and they will hate each other.” Illyria said it was such coldness, such ease, that a shiver ran through each person before her.

“Are you sure you two are related?” Xander asked Fred.

“Oh yes…she’s fifty minutes younger.” She replied.

“I’m thinking she was not given the oxygen she needed…” Willow mumbled, giving Tara a smile.

“I-is everyone excited?” Tara questioned, attempting to be part of the group.

“Yes, of course.” Giles smiled at the shy girl.

“I just wish I knew why it’s taking so long.” Joyce said worriedly.

*

“Buffy you have to push!” Spike argued.

“I don’t want to…it hurts.” She spoke with distress. “Why don’t you push?”

“Buffy, you know if I could take all of that pain away, I bloody well would, but I can’t.” Spike said.

“Please, Spike, if you love me…you’d tell them to give me drugs.” Buffy cried.

“I can’t, luv…it’s too late for that. You’re so close to having our baby.” Spike attempted encouraging her.

“I never want to have sex again.” Buffy wailed, pushing. She felt it…she felt him come out. “It’s over?” She question with a sigh.

“Um…sorry, Ms. Summers, but that was just his head.” Glory said.

“WHAT!” Buffy spoke angrily.

“His shoulder blades are stuck.”

“What the fuck…I’m not having Angel’s baby, why does he have wide shoulders?” Buffy wailed again.

“Come on, pet, you’re almost there.”

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” She repeated to her lover, as she pushed for the last time.

*

They sat silently, Joshua William Giles in her arms, sucking gently on her breast.

“You did it, luv.” Spike aid with a smile, running a cold washcloth over her forehead, and kissing it.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” She said, her voice weak. “About everything I said…”

“It’s forgotten.” He finished before she could start.

“Spike…” She spoke softly, looking up at the smile in his eyes, “I love you. I know I’ve been the bitch of Bitchdonia lately, but I want to make this work. I want to be you wife.”

“We will, pet, and you are.”

*

They all gathered around the glass to get a look at the newest member of the Scooby gang, and the Giles family.

“Which one is he?” Dawn asked impatiently, looking at a row of seven babies.

“Doesn’t look like he’s here…yet.” Xander said, when the nurses began wheeling another bin with Joshua inside.

He was asleep, a baby with a mop of curly wheat colored hair, his face scrunched and tanned, his hands up at the sides of his face.

“That’s definitely him…he’s a fighter like Buffy.” Willow said with a smile.

“He is almost a spitting image of William, except the hair color.” Giles said.

“He’s not pale like Spike, thank God.” Joyce said, and everyone looked over at her. “With this sun, he’d burn so easily.”

“I think he’s a very cute baby…how much could we get for him on E-Bay?” Everyone’s eyes shifted to Anya with worry.

“We all know not to let her baby sit.” Fred said.

“This child…I can sense that he’s brought the couple closer together, but it won’t be all smiles forever.” Illyria said.

“Hey, Smurf, let us revel in the moment.” Xander said.

“I think he has a certain resemblance to baby Hercules…maybe he’s a superhero or something.” Andrew said.

Dawn smacked him upside the head before Anya could get the chance. “Andrew, shut up!”

*A/N: enjoy the goodness while you can…just a warning. I’m think part three… :-D…Give me some feedback, and thanks to Ash. Also, slight hiatus, for about a week and a half, so please review to get my mojo going for what you guys want next.*

Chapter Twenty: Right Beside You

Three days past, and the doctors were doing all possible to make sure that both the baby and Buffy were healthy. Everything was fine, so Buffy would be able to go home the next morning.

As Buffy slept, Spike sat beside her, clutching her small hand. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him with a smile.

“Spike…” She whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too, pet. I always will.” He said, leaning in and brushing a kiss on her lips.

“Thank you…for giving me my son,” she said.

“No, luv, I should be the one thanking you.” He replied.

“But you gave me the strength. If it weren’t for you and the love that you’ve given me, I would have given up on you and Joshua. I know it seems like I didn’t appreciate it, but I did.” She said.

He only smiled, putting a hand to her cheek affectionately. “You’re so bloody beautiful.”

Buffy reached up to her hair worriedly. “I must have bed hair.” She sat up, attempting to fix it. “Where is everyone?”

“Taking turns holding the littlest bit.” He replied. “They figured we should have some alone time.”

With that Buffy leaned over to him, coxing his mouth open with her tongue, ordering a battle between their tongues. He followed, and felt his manhood go rock solid.

“Buffy…” His voice was filled with desire, but he knew they couldn’t, not yet.

“Three weeks.” She replied, pulling away.

“Huh?” He questioned in a daze.

“Three weeks and we can have sex…protected sex.” She said. “I think one baby is enough for now. Plus, we have a wedding to plan.”

It was music to his ears.

*

“How’s mama Buffy feeling?” Xander asked when Buffy awoke in the hospital room, Spike missing.

“Okay…where’s Spike?” She questioned.

“Feeling up for a walk?” He questioned, avoiding the question.

Buffy hesitated for a moment. “Um…I guess.” She stood, wearing her Yummy Sushi pajamas, and followed Xander.

She was glad the doctors had agreed to allow her to take the baby home. She missed her bed, although being a new mother spoiled her rotten. Her mother had brought all of her favorite food to her the last three days, she didn’t have to leave the bed, and no one commented on the extra weight she’d gained. She felt it, but she was sure she’d be back to her normal size within three weeks. It was all she need, especially since she would be able to give Spike all the pleasure he’d missed out on since he’d left.

They slowly made their way toward the nursery, and Xander stopped before the big glass window. Inside, Spike was holding his baby boy, wearing a blue smock, while Fred and Illyria took pictures.

Buffy watched in awe, a smile crossing her features, and tears forming in her eyes. “They look beautiful…” She whispered, glancing at Xander.

“They do…not to sound like a homo.” Xander said with a slight pause. “This is what you want, right Buffy?” He suddenly asked.

She watched Spike make a face, and the little boy in his arms cracked his second smile (he exited the womb with a smile on his face.). Putting her hand to her heart, she was sure it was melting, and she couldn’t be surer of anything else.

“More than anything,” she whispered wistfully.

Willow appeared out of nowhere, a cup of coffee in her hand. She sipped happily, and took a spot for the show beside Buffy. “God, they’re so cute.”

“I know.” Buffy agreed.

“Okay, now can we stop with the comments that put my manliness in question?” Xander remarked.

A thought suddenly popped into her head. “Xand, Wills…before the wedding…I’d really appreciate you two baptizing Josh.”

Willow smiled widely. “I’m Jewish…but I’d be honored.” With that, a group hug was formed between the trio, and from inside the nursery, Spike watched with love.

“You warm to the sight of you fiancé and her friends, as they share a moment. How can you be so sure that such a friendship won’t get in the way of your family?” Illyria questioned.

“Because I love her…and I know she loves me.” Spike replied.

“What makes you so sure?” She asked.

Fred snorted a laugh. “Do you really think she would have gone through all of this if she didn’t love him? She had his baby, and she’s sacrificed a lot.”

“Would she sacrifice her friends?” Illyria prodded.

“I’d never asked her to do such a bloody thing. Besides, they’re my friends, as well.” Spike responded.

“But they weren’t your friends until you developed a relationship with Buffy.” Illyria stated.

“And you weren’t my sister until my father met your mother…we’re not blood, but I would never look at you as less.”

“And we’d never want you to. We’re right beside you, all the way to the end…family.” Fred said, as Illyria considered his comment in agreement and smiled at her twin.

His life was coming together. A son, a wife, friends, family…but there was something missing. His mother.

A/N: Sorry for the wait kiddies…but here it is…almost ten to the end, and a lot of things are going to happen coming up, and I’ll do my best not to drag it out or rush it…so if anything let me know what you want, and how you like it so far.

Chapter Twenty-One: On My Own

With Joshua finally home, Spike and Buffy began getting into a routine. Spike worked at the gallery in the morning, and took classes at night. That usually got him home at around ten, and between work and school he also stopped at the house to check on Buffy and the baby. It was hard for him, but he did what he had to, to get the bills paid.

Buffy spent the weekdays with Joshua, and the weekends at the gallery. The couple figured after the baby become six months of age, they could hire a nanny, but Buffy wanted to be sure that no one else really RAISES her son but her and Spike.

As three weeks came to a closing, Spike was becoming jitterier, counting every second until he could dive into Buffy’s core. She’d gone down to her normal size, but her breasts were still full from the milk. He was still sleeping in his old room, his nights containing lotion and dirty magazines. He didn’t feel bad...he had needs too.

They sat in the breakfast nook, Spike eating cold cereal, while Buffy fed Joshua. Spike kept jiggling his leg, watching the way Buffy’s tank top rode low on her breasts, how her hair fell down her back, close to caressing her butt, and that sly smile in her eyes, as Joshua devoured his formula. She glanced at Spike, and caught him staring as he chewed his cereal.

“What?” She questioned. She noticed the stares, and desire that his eyes held, everyday more evident.

“Huh?” He questioned, snapping out of a daze.

“You keep looking at me, like a virgin starved for strippers.” She replied.

A smile crept over his lips. “I’m beginning to feel like one, too, pet.”

“What are you trying to say, is my little Spiky backed up?”

“More than you know…but no need to worry, time is on my side. Three days.” He replied.

“You can’t be seriously counting down until we’re finally able to have sex, are you?” Buffy questioned, amused.

“Damn right I am, luv. When I’m finally able to have that tight little body, you won’t be able to walk for days.” He threatened.

“Hey! Virgin baby ears here.” She said, referring to Joshua. “You’re daddy’s a little cranky, Josh. You have to excuse him,” she cooed to the little boy.

“And you’re going to have your first sleep over at grandma’s very soon, Little Nib.” Spike warned.

*

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Giles questioned, holding a piece of paper in his hand.

“Yeah, Dad…I am.” Spike replied nervously, so close to the past.

Giles nodded, understandingly, and handed Spike the number. “William…I just want to warn you. She’s different from us…very big on morals and rules. She may not be as keen to the idea of the marriage or your son.”

“Are you saying she’s the old fashioned type of woman?” Spike was amused with the information.

“Yes, she is.” Giles replied, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with a handkerchief.

“Than what about me…you weren’t married.” Spike reminded the old man.

“You’re right, but those were in the days that I was known as Ripper…a bad ass leather wearing bad boy, somewhat like yourself. Your mother was a Catholic school girl, all innocence and legs.” A faint smile approached Giles’ lips.

“How did you pry apart innocence?” Spike questioned curiously.

“I was all talk and promises, but when it came down to it, I knew the minute you were born that you would be my life. Your mother cried, and cursed me, but tried it out. We lived in a flat in the poorer side of London, and to her parents it was the worst thing she could do. It didn’t take a lot of convincing for her to go back to that mansion, and leave us there.” Giles explained.

“She was young…” Spike didn’t understand why he was defending her. Part of him figured it was because part of him was always missing something…his birth mother must have been it. Jenny had been a perfect mother, but when it came down to it, he still had a void that needed to be filled.

*

Spike sat in the master bedroom, as Buffy put Joshua to sleep in his room. His hands shook as he prepared to dial the number. Two rings and an unfamiliar voice picked up.

“Gwendolyn Post.” She answered.

“M-Ms. Post?” Spike questioned nervously.

“Yes?” She asked gently.

“This is William…William Giles, your-“

She cut him off, her breath caught in her throat. “My son.”

“Hello, Ms. Post…I just…I’m sure you know that I’m to be married in a few months…and I have a son…I would like you to some, and meet my son.” Spike explained.

“Son? You have a son…my Lord, you’re only nineteen.” She attempted to keep her panic down. “Well, we should meet.”

“I work at Dad and Joyce’s gallery in Sunnydale during the weekdays.” He informed her.

“Who’s Joyce?” She asked curiously.

“Joyce is Buffy’s mum.” Spike replied.

“What’s a Buffy?”

“My fiancé.” Spike replied.

“I’ll meet you tomorrow for lunch. Ta-ta.”

Before Spike had the chance to ask when and where, she hung up.

“Who was that?” Buffy asked coming into the room.

“My mother.” Spike put a hand through his hair and sighed.

“Your m-mother?” Buffy hesitated.

“My mother…I want her there, for the baby and our wedding…I miss Jenny.” Spike explained.

“I understand, Spike, but you don’t know her…she was cold enough to leave you and Giles, how do you know she’s not a generally cold person?” Buffy questioned.

Spike stood suddenly. “Guess I’ll have to find that out on my own, pet. Goodnight.” He placed a chaste kiss on her lips, and made his way to the attic.

*A/N: I hope you didn’t think I forgot this story…I know, I know…it’s been a while. Here’s this chapter and I promise I will not rush, and there will be major Spuffy love in no time…*

Chapter Twenty-Two: Here For You

Spike stood at the front counter at the gallery, awaiting shipments from Africa and his mother. He wore his usual attire, a white button-down untucked from his pants, and a maroon color tie. His shoes were classic loafers, and comfortable. His hair was gelled, but needed another bleach job. Buffy had promised to get to it this weekend. This weekend…he’d be able to make love to Buffy again…he couldn’t wait.

The bell on the door rang, and Spike’s gaze went nervously to the door. There, stood a tall blonde woman with blue eyes, and legs for days. She wore a brown knee-length skirt and a white silk blouse. Her features were rigid; her eye like ice, and Spike could feel her superiority.

She walked over to him, her chin up, and stopped before him. “William, I presume.” She held out her hand, and he hesitantly took it. Her accent was as thick in person, as it was on the phone.

“Ms. Post.” He shook her hand with resistance.

“I’ve come to give this to you.” She pulled a stack of papers out of her leather briefcase and placed them on the counter.

“And what, may I ask, are those?” He questioned.

“They’re papers that you must sign, as the heir to the Post family fortune. I was looking for you for months…to explain that these papers needed your signature, and a promise, so that you may inherit the fortune. It’s over fifty million dollars.” Gwendolyn explained.

“Bloody hell! That’s not why I was looking for you.” Spike said, but the thought of what he’d be able to do for Joshua and Buffy with that money, made him crave it for a second.

“I know, but I figured since your father finally gave you my message, you could do as you are supposed to.” She said, taking out a sterling silver pen with her initial engraved on it.

“What exactly would my duties be, if I choose to sign?” He asked.

“Well, for one thing, you’ll have to withhold from marrying Betty…” At her words, Spike felt his heart drop to his stomach, and almost heaved it back up.

She wanted him to give up the only woman he’d ever truly loved for money. “It’s not happening…you can take your sodding papers and money, and take back to the mother land.” He spoke in a nasty tone.

“Are you really willing to give up so much, for someone who will undoubtedly abandon in the end?” Gwendolyn questioned.

“And what makes you so sure about that, Ms. Post?” He spat.

“I spoke to your father through out this whole situation…if you ask me, that Betty of yours is all games. She playing with you William, and I just want to see you become something.” She said.

“If you really wanted that, you would have actually been a mother to me. But you’re not my mother, by blood, maybe, but you didn’t do a thing for me. Thanks for wasting your time.” With that, Spike turned on his heel and walked into the back, in order to sob it out. He wiped his eyes and went back to work at the sound of the bell ringing, as Gwendolyn made her way out.

*

It was nearly midnight, and Spike hadn’t arrived home, yet. Buffy began worrying the second she finished cooking dinner, and he wasn’t home, but it got worse every hour. She called everyone she could think of, even Angel, but no one new where he could be.

Buffy was second away from calling the cops, when she heard the front door open and slam. “Spike?” She ran into the foyer, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Where were you? I was worried sick.”

He sobbed on her shoulder, his breath raging with the smell alcohol. “She’s a bloody bitch…nothing but a bloody fucking sodding harlot.” He slurred.

Buffy separated herself from him, and took his arm across the back of her neck, helping him up the stairs. “It’s okay Spike…we’re going to get you upstairs.” She said, supporting up one flight.

He looked into her eyes when they came upon the bedroom…her bedroom…their bedroom. “Bloody hell…I want it to be special.”

“It will be, but for now, I think you need to be held.” She said.

“By you?” He questioned.

“By me.” She replied, leading him to the bed, and sitting him down. She unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off, his tie, missing, and his white t-shirt went up over his head. She reached for the buckle of his belt, and noticed the bulge. She tingled and gulped. “I need you to control yourself.” Her eyes drifted to the basinet, which was beside her bed.

“Not for you…for the baby…I will.” Spike said, and she removed his shoes and pants.

“Lay down.” She order and he listened. She slid in beside him, and held his back to her. “I love you.” She whispered to him. “I don’t know what happened, but I will always be here for you.”

He drifted off to sleep, and whispered. “No amount of money could ever get me to give you up.”