Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s Joss’s world, I’m just borrowing his toys. I’ll give them back just like I found them…honest! The song is "Dark Light" by H.I.M.

Author’s Note: PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE READING THE FIC. If you complain about anything that I mention here, my head may just explode, because I’m going to tell you (in general terms) what to expect now. If you read this, think it may not be something you’re going to like, and read anyway, I don’t want to hear it.

This story is, essentially porn with plot. If you’re familiar with my fic Need, it’s a similar style to that. The plot is completely and totally different, but as far as rampant sex with some plot thrown in, they’re similar. However, there will be a plot. It’s not an overly angsty plot, but it’s not all fluffy either. I prefer a balance when I read, so that’s what I write. If you want fluffy kitties and rainbows all the time, well, honestly, I don’t even know why you just clicked on one of my fics, but I keep getting readers like that, so I assume some of you haven’t learned what to expect from me yet. At some point in this fic, some angst will occur. Deal with it or read something else.

Also, this is in no way, shape, or form a “Buffy/other” fic. And yes, it does say that she’s married in the summary, and she is – but the marriage is really over before the fic starts. Furthermore, it is not an “adultery” fic, for any of you who get creeped out by that.

Feedback and Archiving: Feedback is my drug. Gimme a hit. As for archiving, I generally allow it, but please e-mail me for permission before you repost this anywhere. Thanks.

*** *** ***

Shivers run through the spine
Of hope as she cries
the poison tears of a life denied
In the raven black night
Holding hands with

Dark light
Come shine in her lost heart tonight
And blind
All fears that haunt her
With your smile
I Dark Light

In oblivion's garden
Her body's on fire
Writhing towards the angel defiled
To learn how to die
In peace with her God

Dark light
Come shine in her lost heart tonight
And blind
All fears that haunt her with
Your smile
Dark Light

*** *** ***

Buffy let out a deep, slow breath as she surveyed the crowded club. Sure, she’d had two years of exclusive dating and five years of marriage since the last time she’d done anything like this, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t easy to fall back into it. She was an attractive woman in her twenties. Picking up a man in a place like this should be a piece of cake.

However, first she decided she needed a drink and made a beeline for the bar, ordering a shot only to slam it down the moment the bartender handed it to her. She shook her head, making a noise as it slid down her throat. It tasted horrible, but if it really was liquid courage, then she needed all the help she could get.

Three shots later, she was feeling decidedly more confident. This was something she could do. This was something she had to do. She had to get some of her own back.

Pushing away the last of her doubts, Buffy made her way to the dance floor with the determination not to leave it without a partner. She may have been off the market for a while, but she knew she could still move.

The band started something with a slow, sensual beat, and Buffy smiled, easing into her movements with grace and poise. Soon, her confidence grew as she lost herself in the music, putting on a show for whoever may be watching.

And someone was. She couldn’t see him, but somehow she knew. She felt his eyes on her. Her pulse sped up as she continued to dance, a thrill rushing through her. His gaze didn’t leave her, and Buffy felt her body warming, her heart fluttering.

Then, he was there with her, strong hands on her arms as he pulled her body into his, moving with her now. She grinded back against him, knowing without even looking at him that she’d found her quarry.

Finally, he leaned in, his mouth resting against her ear. “You’re coming home with me.”

Buffy nodded without hesitation. From the moment she’d caught his eye, there’d been no question of that.

He guided her from the dance floor and out of the club, and Buffy went without pause. It wasn’t until they finally stepped out onto the street and under the light of a streetlamp that she looked up and saw him.

She wasn’t disappointed. His build was smaller than the one she’d grown accustomed to, but that was something she more than welcomed. From what she’d felt, he was all hard, tight muscle. And his face… He was one of the most beautiful men she’d ever seen, though with his shock of bleached hair and long, black leather coat she’d wager he’d take offense to being called “beautiful.” Still, with those perfect angles of his face and his bright-blue eyes, she couldn’t think of him as anything but.

She would’ve said he looked downright angelic if it weren’t for that glint in his eyes and the smirk on his lips.

He knew she liked what she saw.

Without a word, he took her hand, leading her away from the club. She followed him easily, knowing in that moment she’d follow him anywhere.

He took her to what appeared to be some sort of old factory or warehouse, and something inside of Buffy reminded her this should be making her nervous—only it wasn’t. When he opened the door and gestured for her to enter, she did without any hesitation.

From there, he led her into an old-fashioned elevator, the clang of the metal doors closing making a shiver course up her spine, though Buffy noted it was more from excitement than nervousness.

A second shock followed the first as his hands fell to her arms, turning her around and brining her to meet his eyes. Her heart sped up as he leaned in, his lips dangerously close to hers. She trembled, frozen in place until he breached the distance and kissed her for the first time.

Buffy realized as his lips glided against hers that before that moment, she’d never truly been kissed. Because what she’d done in the past was nothing, nothing like this. Her arms snaked around him, her hands gripped his shoulders, and she needed him to be her lifeline even as he was the one causing her to drown.

She didn’t realize they’d left the elevator until her back hit the soft surface of a silk-covered mattress. He moved off of her, and every cell in her body cried out from the loss until she realized he was merely shedding his coat and boots. When he covered her body again, Buffy held on to him, giving into a desire unlike any she’d ever known before. Any thoughts of her husband or the reason why she’d chosen to stray were gone.

He pressed kisses against her neck, a low growling sound seeming to reverberate in his chest, and Buffy thrust her hips against him shamelessly, not caring one bit how wanton she was being. She felt good, sensual. As if she existed for pleasure and pleasure alone.

And the man on top of her was there for the sole purpose of giving it to her.

His lips moved from her neck to her ear and he whispered against it, his voice different than it had been the last time he’d spoken. No less seductive, but there was a rawness there now, letting Buffy know she was affecting him like he was her.

“You are so bloody beautiful. Gorgeous…”

She sighed at his words, feeling as if they were true for the first time in such a long time. He moved his mouth down again, nipping at her neck, his teeth scraping her flesh, and Buffy moaned, the sensation more pleasurable than she ever would have imagined. His hands trailed up her dress, slipping beneath the edge of her dampened thong. His fingers pushed inside her body, finding places she’d never even known existed. Buffy moaned, writhing under his expert touch, her body already hurtling towards orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he groaned, pushing his fingers in deeper, his thumb stealing up to rub her needy clit. “You’re burning me, kitten.”

Buffy gasped, her hips moving in time with his hand, her body reaching for more.

“You want to come, don’t you, pet,” he asked, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. Buffy replied with a wordless moan, thrusting up further. “Think my mouth would do it for you?” he asked, though the teasing tinge to his words was lost on her as just the thought of his tongue against her shorted out her brain.

He dipped in, growled low before ripping her panties off with his teeth and tossing them to the side. He allowed himself a moment to savor her scent, breathing her in deep before he tasted her for the first time, unable to hold back the moan that rumbled in his throat. She tasted exquisite…

If his fingers had made her feel wonderful, then his tongue… Her body tensed, so close to the edge, and then she was falling, screaming her pleasure.

She’d never felt an orgasm like this one before. He moved his mouth down lower, and while Buffy wasn’t sure exactly what he did to her, whatever it was it drew out release, made her come harder and longer than she’d even known was possible.

Buffy felt boneless, her mind almost blank as he surged up her body and finished undressing them both before he was inside her, filling her and tearing another scream from Buffy’s lips.

He was long and thick, and the first push alone was more intense than any sexual experience of her past. She didn’t know how this man was capable of this, how he was able to do such things to her body, but she didn’t care. All she knew was she was falling over and over again, experiencing nothing but bliss.

She came back to herself slowly, moaning as she rolled over. She felt weak, drained, her body trembling. She looked up and saw the man sitting on the edge of the bed. He turned towards her, a look in his eyes that she couldn’t put a name to.

“You should go.”

Buffy frowned. She didn’t want to leave, not now. She felt groggy, her thoughts unclear, but she knew she wanted to stay. “I don’t…”

“Get out!” he yelled, the force of his words making her come back to herself. The fog that had seemed to fall over her back at the club lifted, and she scrambled out of the bed, gripping the edge for a moment to steady herself after a dizzy spell before finding her clothes and redressing.

He wasn’t looking at her, and she didn’t understand. Everything seemed hazy now, but she knew they’d just shared something amazing. Why was he throwing her out like this?

She turned to him again once she was dressed, and just the sight of him made her knees weak again. She felt a pull to him, and she stumbled towards him, forgetting for a moment he was throwing her out. She wanted him…wanted something from him.

Buffy took a step towards him, her body seeming to move under its own accord.

He looked up, his eyes growing dark. “I told you to go,” he growled.

“I…” Buffy shook her head, the haziness fading again. “You…”

“You need to go.”

He sounded tired this time, and Buffy didn’t argue anymore. She did need to go…

Knowing she couldn’t look back, Buffy hurried away.

*** *** ***

How was the first chapter? Are people on board with this one?

Please review and let me know if you’re reading.

Buffy walked into the front door of her house, her legs still weak and wobbly. She could barely believe the events of that evening had taken place, though the aching in her body told her they definitely had.

She had thought she’d feel differently now—better. She’d thought if maybe she evened the score that she’d be able to handle what she’d discovered earlier that day.

It hadn’t made it any easier. If anything, she felt worse now. She’d experienced what was hands down the best sex of her life, and then the man had thrown her out without explanation. He hadn’t even given her his name—or asked hers for that matter. She’d gone looking for a one-night stand, but she saw now that she hadn’t been thinking clearly, hadn’t taken the time to really think about that plan.

She supposed it shouldn’t make her feel bad that she’d been used. After all, she’d only been using him.

“Where were you?”

Buffy looked up sharply, the figure of her husband in the doorway seeming large and imposing. “I went out,” she snapped, the reason why she’d felt the need to have a one night stand in the first place now front and center in her mind.

Riley Finn moved towards her and grabbed her arm, inspecting her with a dark look in his eyes. “You’ve got a hickey.”

Buffy reached up with her free hand and ran it over her neck. Did she? She didn’t even remember… She snatched her arm away from Riley. “At least I didn’t have to pay for it.”

Riley gaped, staring at her for a moment before the denials began. “What are you talking about? I haven’t been…”

“Oh, don’t even try to lie about it, Riley. I know all about what you’ve been doing.” Buffy marched over to the desk at the far side of the room before pulling it open and throwing a stack of black and white photos on the table for Riley to see. “These came in the mail today.” She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “Am I that bad, huh? Am I so unsatisfying for you that you have to go out and find hookers to scratch your itch?”

It took only a moment from Riley to switch tactics from denying it all to being defensive. “So what, you needed to fix your bruised ego by fucking around on me?” He glanced down at the pictures, the evidence in front of him making it impossible to deny his indiscretions, so he tried to turn the focus on hers instead. “I made a mistake, Buffy. And I’m sorry. Ever since it happened, I’ve regretted it, and I’ve tried to be a better husband, but this…” Riley shook his head. “You just did this to hurt me.”

Buffy felt her anger flaring up again and she didn’t fight to keep it in check. “Don’t you dare make this about me. Yes, I wanted to hurt you tonight, Riley. But that wasn’t the only reason. I just didn’t think I should have to keep going around unsatisfied while you were getting something on the side. Hardly seemed fair.”

Riley’s jaw dropped, and Buffy had to admit she’d surprised herself by saying that, too. But as the words came out of her mouth, she realized how true they were. While she couldn’t call every sexual encounter of her marriage a bust, she’d certainly had ample opportunities to perfect her faking skills. And even at its best, sex with Riley was nothing like the man she’d met that night. Just thinking about it now made her tingle, and as she reached up to place her hand against the hickey Riley had pointed out, her whole body seemed to throb.

She’d never experienced anything like that before. He’d caused her to lose herself in a sea of pleasure, forget that she was there because she was hurting. He’d made her forget she’d ever hurt in her life at all.

Memories drifted through her mind, flashes of his face, his eyes. The raw need, the pleasure. Just thinking about it now could almost make her…

“Buffy? Are you even listening to me?”

Buffy blinked. “Huh? Oh, sorry. I zoned.”

“You zoned? You come home this late after sleeping with another man and then you can’t even…”

“I’m going to bed. I’m tired,” Buffy replied, cutting Riley off.

Without another word, Buffy walked off towards the bedroom, images of her lover of the night filling her mind again.

*** *** ***

Buffy lay on the tile floor of the bathroom, wondering what had actually possessed her to drink that much the night before. She hurt everywhere, and her stomach was continuing to roll over despite the fact she was pretty sure she’d just vomited up everything she’d eaten that year.

The bathroom door opened and the shadow of her husband loomed over her. “This is what you get for acting the way you did, Buffy,” he said sternly. “No matter what you may think I did, you had no right to cheat on me.”

Buffy looked up, immediately regretting lifting her head off the cool, soothing tile. “Fuck you.”

“I can’t believe you’re treating me this way.”

If her head hadn’t currently been filled with a jackhammer, she would’ve yelled. Instead, she glared up at him from the floor. “You were paying money to screw around on me. There is nothing I could do to you that you wouldn’t deserve right now.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “This isn’t all my fault, Buffy. There’s two people in a marriage, and if we’re having problems…”

“Riley?”

He stopped when she said his name.

“Yeah?”

“Leave before I puke on you. Because I so will.”

Riley’s eyes widened a second before he scooted out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Buffy groaned, reveling in the feel of the tile for a few moments more before she pulled herself up to her feet. The room immediately began to spin, and she leaned forward to brace herself on the edge of the sink, catching sight of her reflection as she did.

God, she looked like hell…

Her hair was wild an unruly – desperately in need of a comb and a gallon of conditioner. Her eyes were ringed with smeared black make up and she was sporting the biggest damn hickey she had ever seen in her life.

She reached up and touched it, her cheeks reddening at the thought of the night before and the man who’d given her more pleasure in one evening than she’d had in five years of marriage.

Five wasted years…

Looking back on it now, Buffy realized she never should’ve married Riley Finn. She’d known that even then, even when she was standing at the altar with him. But she’d wanted so desperately to have some stability back in her life. After getting dumped by the man she was sure she’d be with forever and losing her mother to cancer, she’d been desperate to start over and build a life. Riley had seemed so…stable. Perhaps a bit boring, definitely lacking in passion, but stable.

She knew now, however, that it had never been love.

And when she’d filled out the papers to file for divorce the previous afternoon, she’d felt none of what she’d suspect you should feel when you were giving up on a seven year relationship.

Instead, she only felt relief.

What she’d done the night before had been a bid to get some of her own back, to make sure Riley knew when she threw his ass to the curb that she was not going to be pining. She wanted him to know that Buffy Summers was no pushover.

And even looking back on the night now, she had no regrets. She’d never had a one-night stand before, but she’d wager that one rated pretty high on the scale, even with the sour ending. He’d been absolutely gorgeous and had made her come harder than she’d even known was possible. One night with a man like that was something to be grateful for. And hell, after five years in an only sometimes satisfactory marriage, she deserved it.

Starting to feel better, Buffy opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out her eye make up remover, setting to work on making herself look less like a crazed raccoon. From there, she did the best she could to tame her hair, finally settling on a messy ponytail.

Her head was still throbbing and her stomach was not in its best mood, but she felt better. Liberated.

She walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, her aching head held high.

“I’m filing for divorce and you’re moving out.”

Riley looked up from his seat on the couch, his eyes bugged. “What?”

“You heard me. This marriage is over, and you’re getting out of the house today.”

“You can’t just throw me out. I pay the mortgage, too.”

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. Why hadn’t she done this years ago again? “Then I guess your boss would just love to hear about your ‘extended lunch breaks’ in motels with hookers.”

Riley turned pale. “You…you wouldn’t.”

“Wanna make a bet? I’ve got pictures, Riley. Time and date stamped. I will walk right into that office and hand them all to him.”

“I…how did you get those anyway?”

Buffy shrugged. “Anonymous letter. I guess you pissed someone off. Forget to tip?”

“They could all be doctored,” Riley attempted, though even he knew how lame it sounded.

Buffy snorted. “Sure. Look, here’s how it’s going to work. I’m going to shower. Then, I’m going to take your credit card and go to the spa. When I come back, you will be gone or I will have a little chat with your boss. Are we perfectly clear on this?”

Riley nodded numbly. Before right then, he wouldn’t have believed Buffy capable of any of this, but between the look in her eyes and what she’d done the night before, he did now. “Yeah…okay.”

“Good.” Buffy turned on her heel and marched back into the bathroom. As soon as she was behind the door again, she giggled. The giggle quickly grew into a full out laugh, and she leaned against the door, laughing until her face hurt.

She knew she was bordering on hysterical, but she didn’t care. She felt as if she were waking up for the first time in years. Since her mother died… No, before. Since Angel had left. Or was it when her father had left? When had she shut down, stopped really living? Had it been all of it combined, taking hit after hit leaving her dazed and lost?

And then once she’d married Riley, she’d had to stay shut down. Otherwise, she’d have to acknowledge how cold, how empty she felt.

She wasn’t empty anymore. Not after last night. Whoever that man had been, he’d set her aflame. He’d reminded her of what it was to feel.

Buffy stripped off her clothes and turned on the shower. She stepped under the spray, sighing with relief as the water ran over her.

She ran her hands down her body, smoothing them over her tan skin. Her fingers rubbed against her thigh, and she looked down when she felt something there, too.

Apparently her neck wasn’t the only place he’d left a hickey… She didn’t even remember him leaving that one, though she assumed it had been when he was eating her out.

At the memory of that, she almost lost her footing in the shower, her entire body flushing. With his tongue alone he’d managed to top every other sexual experience she’d had in her life.

She closed her eyes, pulling up an image of him in her mind. No matter how drunk she’d been the night before, she could still see his face clearly. Those cheekbones and those bluer than blue eyes… She shivered.

Oh yeah, it had been a night to remember – more so than any night of her marriage.

With a smile on her face, Buffy reached for her shower gel.

*** *** ***

Thank you so much for all the encouragement I got for the last chapter. It was good to see no one seemed to forget about me after my break from writing and that so many people were ready to read something new from me. :)

After kicking Riley to the curb and her day at the spa, Buffy felt decidedly refreshed. Furthermore, she decided she should celebrate her newfound freedom by further running up Riley’s credit card bill by purchasing an outfit he never would’ve allowed her to wear out in public.

And then, of course, wear said new outfit in public. Because, after all, what use were a black leather miniskirt, knee-high black leather stiletto boots, and a tiny red halter top if you didn’t wear them?

She went back to the same club, telling herself she wasn’t looking for him. After all, he’d thrown her out and made it pretty clear he had no intentions of seeing her again. So she was over that. One night had been good, but she didn’t want to do it again, not after he’d been so cold to her once he’d finished. She wasn’t looking for anyone tonight at all, just enjoying a drink to celebrate the end of a dull, loveless marriage.

She was certainly not scanning the crowd for platinum hair.

All the illusions concerning her presence in the club that she’d tried to feed herself crumbled the moment she felt him behind her, felt his hand push her hair over her shoulder, revealing the mark he’d left on her neck the night before. His long finger trailed over it, and Buffy shivered.

He leaned in, his mouth against her ear so she could hear him over the din of the crowded club. “All I could think about today was how much I wished I’d kept you in my bed.”

Buffy gasped and trembled, glad she was sitting on the bar stool with the way her legs were shaking. A dark thought had entered her head a few times, trying to ruin her day, telling her perhaps he’d thrown her out because he hadn’t enjoyed her the way she’d enjoyed him. Perhaps she had been too long out of practice for her to have anything to bring to the bed of a man like this. Could it have been possible that the earth-shattering nature of their coupling had been one-sided?

Apparently not.

He ran his hand down her side, pausing to linger at her breast. “Did you wear this outfit for me, kitten?”

Any chance she had at denying it had long since gone out the window, and Buffy nodded, the gesture followed by a gasp as his hand came back up to tweak her nipple through the thin fabric of her halter.

“I love it. Though I’m really going to love taking it off you.”

Buffy looked up at him, the raw hunger in his eyes enough to make her tremble. She wasn’t sure how she made her mouth work, but somehow, her lips were moving and sound was coming out. “Let’s get out of here.”

He smiled at her eagerness and took her hand, helping her off the stool then allowing her to use him to maintain her balance. She’d only had half of a drink before he’d found her, and yet she felt drunk now. Drunk on him…

He led her out of the club and onto the street, noticing the way she shivered in the cool night air. Immediately, he shrugged off his long, leather duster and slipped it around her shoulders. She looked up, her eyes wide, full of surprise that he’d be the chivalrous type.

Shrugging at the look, he said, “Well, you came out half naked on my account. It’s the least I could do.”

She looked surprised for a moment before she laughed, the sweet sound of it making it impossible for him to not smile. He ducked his head, an almost boyish expression on his face, one Buffy was surprised he was capable of.

Somehow, it made her even more attracted to him.

“I’m Buffy, by the way. I mean, I know this isn’t the sort of thing where you usually give a name, but…” She paused, pulled the coat tighter around her. “I’m Buffy.”

“That’s a right silly name.” She looked at him, shocked, and possibly a little hurt, before he smirked and she knew he was teasing her. “I’m Spike.”

She smirked back at him. “And you just called my name silly.”

“Oi now! It’s a hell of a lot less ridiculous than Buffy.” He moved so he was standing in front of her, pressing against her. “’Sides, you know it’s fitting.”

At just like that, she was back to desperate for him. “I thought we were going somewhere,” she said, looking at him through hooded lashes.

Without another word, he was moving again, his hand in hers as he brought her along with him.

He brought her back to the same place he had the night before, his mouth on hers the moment the doors to the elevator clanged shut. She jumped up, wrapping her booted feet around his hips, the duster sliding from her shoulders and hitting the ground. Spike growled into her mouth, one hand sliding forward to find she hadn’t bothered to add underwear to that little ensemble of hers.

The bed was too far away. He unhooked his belt and popped open the buttons of his jeans in record time, pulling her down hard as he thrust up.

Buffy screamed from the sudden invasion, though that didn’t stop her from immediately beginning to move on him, a few minutes of touching him already having her wet, drenching his cock.

The elevator opened, and Spike carried her into the bedroom, tumbling with her onto the silk sheets of his bed. His rhythm didn’t falter, his cock still pounding into her to the beat of his harsh pants against his ear.

It was different this time than it had been before. There was no practice seduction to the coupling this time. He took her with a raw need, as if he was desperate to be inside of her.

She was grateful for her decision to tell him her name when she heard him chanting it over and over again in her ear. Even if this time really was the last time, knowing she would never be some nameless, faceless woman to him was something she could take to heart.

He shifted above her, changed the angle of his hips and slid in deeper. He was in her all the way now, their bodies flush, and Buffy called out his name, her entire form shaking as she dangled on the edge of a colossal orgasm.

She knew what would push her over, even if her mind couldn’t seem to put a name to it. She remembered what had given her the most pleasure the night before, knew what had sent her spiraling into places she’d never been before.

She raised her hand, grabbed the back of his head, and pushed him down to her neck. He made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snarl against her skin, but then she was coming, exploding around him even as her internal muscles held him in deep, and all she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears.

Panting, Buffy came back down, not knowing how long she’d been out of it. She noted he was still hard inside of her, a fact that she found oddly disappointing. While the thought of this not being over was a definite good one, she’d wanted him to follow her over, wanted the pleasure she’d felt to be too great to be confined to one body alone.

“You didn’t come,” she said. Her voice was hoarse, making her realize she must’ve been screaming.

He nuzzled her neck and kissed her beneath her earlobe. “Yeah, I did.”

“But you’re…” She squeezed her internal muscles around the still-solid cock inside of her.

He looked up, a cocky yet charming grin on his face. “Yeah, I know. I’ve got great stamina. I can do this for hours. Hell, days, if I’m so inclined.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, something telling her he was not exaggerating. “Days? What’s in your diet? Radioactive Wheaties?”

He threw his head back and laughed, as if she were making a joke she didn’t quite get herself. “Something like that, kitten. You wanna drive for a bit?”

“Huh?” she asked, her nose wrinkled. Why was he talking about driving? She wanted to stay in bed…

He tried to suppress his grin at her confusion, though he didn’t entirely succeed. There was something about this woman he found so utterly charming… “I was asking you if you want to be on top, pet.”

Buffy blushed slightly at her own misunderstanding. “Oh. Um, okay…”

Spike pulled himself up on one elbow and used his other hand to brush her hair away from her face. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, sweetheart.”

“No, I do, it’s just…” She blushed more. “It’s been a while since I’ve done that. I…” She looked down, wondering why she was revealing this much, but feeling like she needed to say it anyway. “I’m just coming out of a less-than-passionate marriage. Sex for me for the past few years was basically consisted on my too-bulky husband rolling on top of me, grunting, and then rolling back over to pass out.”

For several moments he said nothing, only stared, and Buffy braced herself for getting kicked out again, thinking she’d said too much. Instead, however, he finally shook his head, letting out a sound of disbelief. “How could anyone have a glorious creature like you in his bed and not enjoy every second of it?”

Never in her life had she been complimented with such sincerity. He didn’t speak to charm her; he spoke as if the words were simply fact.

“I don’t think he thought I was so ‘glorious,’” Buffy replied. “I found out a couple days ago he was sneaking around with prostitutes. That’s…that’s why I came out. I was looking for a bit of revenge before I threw him out on his ass.”

“His loss is my gain then.” Spike turned her face so she was looking at him again and kissed her on the forehead. The act was surprisingly tender, and she wondered how long it had been since someone had touched her like that.

“You don’t have to worry about be looking down on you for anything you do in bed, sweet,” Spike told her. “You want to take it slow, get used to being the one leading for a change, then I can be patient. I’m not going to throw you out again. We’ve got all night.”

Trepidation gave way to desire, and Buffy nodded. “Okay.”

Spike sat up then tugged Buffy by her arms to bring her into a sitting position, too. He ran a hand down her hair, then cupped her cheek. “As much as I love this get-up of yours, I want to see you naked. Ever since the first time, all I could think about was your golden skin.”

Buffy had never really considered herself to be much of a swooner. But when he said things like that with his unbelievably sexy voice, what was a girl to do?

Spike watched her eyes glass over and smirked. Taking that as more than enough permission to strip her down, he reached behind her and unfastened the ties of her halter top, letting it fall forward to the bed between them before sweeping it onto the floor. She’d worn no bra either, and her firm breasts were exposed now, the combination of the night air and her aroused state making the nipples tighten into hardened peaks. Unable to resist the temptation, Spike leaned in, sucking her right breast into his mouth as his hand came up to massage the other.

Within moments she was writhing against him, and Spike smiled around the peak as his free hand slipped under her skirt, finding her wet center. He pushed two fingers inside of her, then began thrusting in time with the pulls of his mouth. Buffy moaned, her head going back as she pushed against him, clearly enjoying what he was doing to her.

Until suddenly, she pushed him away. Spike looked up in confusion, but she met his eyes and smiled slowly, seductively.

“You said I could drive.”

He pulled back from her, held his hands up in submission. After all, who was he to argue with her?

Her smile grew and her green eyes flickered with dark promise. Her sensual side had been buried for so long that now it was roaring back to the surface with a vengeance.

She started with his boots, suffering a moment of frustration as she fought with all the laces before they were both off. She took a moment to note he had very nice feet, which she shouldn’t have been surprised about, only she’d wondered if perhaps since every other part of him was so perfect, they would be the exception.

They weren’t.

From there, she moved to his jeans, tugging them down harshly in an attempt to see his legs. She knew he’d been completely naked their first time, but her memories of that night were hazy and she wanted a refresher.

Again, she found nothing short of perfection.

She crawled up his body, her freshly-manicured nails scraping his flesh as she made her way to his chest. Buffy sat up then, straddling his thighs as she grabbed the edge of his t-shirt and pulled the last of his clothes over his head, her eyes twinkling in delight at the sight of him completely bare before her.

He smirked at her expression. “You look like a kid on Christmas morning who just found out she got a pony,” he teased.

She grinned, her eyes still sparkling. “Better than a pony, though I think I can ride you.”

He chuckled, mirth and sexual promise in the sound. “Oh yeah. Any way you want to, kitten.”

Buffy’s reply was to lean in and nip at his chest, her teeth scraping against his flat, male nipple. He groaned low in his throat and grasped her hips. “Fuck, do that again. Harder.”

While his response surprised her – she’d never given a lot of thought to nipples being much of an erogenous zone for men – it delighted her as well. She wanted to make him make that sound again. She closed her teeth around his nipple again, shaking her head gently as she did.

There was the sound again, louder this time. “Yeah, baby. That’s it. Make it hurt.”

She knew this was relatively tame considering the things she was well aware were out there, despite the fact she’d never done them; however, this was the closest she’d really ever come to something that could be called “kinky.” Riley certainly wasn’t into pain with his pleasure – or at least not when it came to her. From her, all he wanted was soft, gentle touches and sweet whispers.

It shocked her to find how much better she liked this.

As she moved her head to clamp her teeth around the other nipple, she wondered idly if perhaps it were a product of the outfit. While he’d gotten around to removing her top, her leather miniskirt was still scrunched up around her hips and her legs were encased from the knee down in her black stiletto boots. Was that what was making her inner-dominatrix suddenly break free?

Or maybe it was just that she felt completely relaxed and at ease with this man. More so than she had after seven years in the bed or Riley Finn.

What did it mean that she felt more comfortable with a stranger than she ever had with her husband?

She didn’t dwell on that for long. Why would she want to think about him when she had a gorgeous, sexy man desperate for her touch? Spike was leaning back, bracing himself on his hands, his hard cock brushing against her taut stomach as she continued to bite and suck at his chest.

God, that cock… It was calling to her, tapping a wet rhythm against her skin, begging for attention. And adding itself to the list of surprises for her that night was her sudden need to give it a certain kind of attention.

She’d given blowjobs in the past, but she’d never really ­wanted to give them. She hadn’t been adverse to them exactly, but it wasn’t something she was going to do without being asked. And even then, the thought of it didn’t make her mouth water.

Not like it was now.

She was desperate to taste Spike, to roll him around on her tongue, memorize his flavor. She remembered how he’d been when he’d eaten her out the night before, and she wanted to do the same for him, wanted to relish him the way he so obviously had her.

Maybe that was what put her so at ease with him – his generosity. He seemed to be enjoying her so much that she saw no reason to be timid, to hold back with the fear she might do something wrong.

Buffy slid down so she was eyelevel with his crotch and took his cock in one hand and his balls in the other, getting a feel for them. She realized she hadn’t touched him there yet, and it surprised her how different he felt from Riley. She couldn’t seem to fit her hand completely around the base of it, and his balls were heavier than she would’ve thought, especially given the fact he claimed to have already come once that night.

He looked down at her, panting as he watched her examine his bits. “Please tell me you’re about to suck that.”

His question made her laugh out loud and he smiled, adoring the sound of her so happy, carefree. She was an enchanting little nymph, this one… “Do you want me to suck it?” she asked, trying to look wide-eyed and innocent, though the effect was hard to achieve in her current position.

“Well, seeing as I have one in the first place, I think the answer to that is a pretty obvious ‘yeah.’”

Buffy smiled, then leaned down again, tilting her head to the side as she tried to figure out the best way to go about this. She wanted him in her mouth, really she did, but it was literally a lot to swallow.

She started slightly when his hand came up to stroke her hair. “It’s all right, baby. Just take it slow. I’m not expecting someone as tiny as you to deepthroat me, kitten, so just do what you can. Even a lick from your precious mouth will be like heaven, I’m sure.”

If he was simply sweet-talking her to get himself a blowjob, then he was doing a damn good job, Buffy mused. She took the head into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it, finding with surprised delight that she liked the taste of him. The salty flavor of his skin and cum was better than she would’ve thought given her past experience, and she slid down further, happy to take more of him in her mouth.

Soon, she found her rhythm and lost herself in the taste and feel of him. His moans and pleas for more swirled around her, fueling her desire and spurring her on. The hand she’d placed on his balls had stilled when she’d taken him into her mouth, but she soon started to move it, massaging his heavy sac. Then, remembering how he’d reacted to her teeth on his nipple, she squeezed, her blood red nails digging into his sensitive flesh.

His hips pushed him, a loud shout coming from him as he inadvertently slid himself further into her mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise and she gagged for a moment before she grew accustomed to it and resumed her previous actions.

She felt his balls start to tighten in her hand and knew what was coming. Though a part of her wondered what it would be like to feel him releasing inside her mouth, she didn’t think she was ready for it quite yet. Instead, she pulled back up, giving his cock a sweet good-bye kiss at the tip.

Spike panted, but didn’t complain about the loss of her mouth, seeming to understand why she stopped. Buffy was glad he didn’t press the issue, his willingness to let her do things at her pace making her all the more glad she’d decided to give into her urge to taste him.

Although now she was dripping wet, noting that she’d actually managed to create a spot on the sheets on her own. She could hardly believe how hot the act of pleasuring him had made her. He was panting, his cock straining for attention, and she wasn’t much better off.

It was time to get down to business. Her pussy was clenching at the thought of having him inside again, as if he hadn’t been not too long before.

She straddled his hips, her leather-covered legs wrapping tightly around him. Spike growled deeply, the sound rumbling in his chest as he grabbed her hips and positioned her over his erection. She let him move her down, hissed with pleasure when she felt him sliding inside of her, making his way into her wide-open body.

He pushed down on her hips and she wriggled until he was in to the hilt again. The connection was intense, nerve endings raw from what they’d already done that night. Buffy fell forward, her head landing at the crook of his neck as she panted heavily, adjusting to the feeling of being so full.

Spike’s hands ran up her back, caressing her sweat-dampened flesh. “You fit me like a glove, kitten,” he murmured against the crown of her hair, his words followed by a shiver up her spine. “Never met a woman who fits me like you do.”

In a situation like this, his words should be hollow. But they didn’t sound hollow. They sounded right.

Was it possible she’d truly stumbled on something amazing in the midst of her plan for revenge? Maybe fate had finally taken pity on her and sent her someone wonderful.

She looked up at him again, the wealth of what she saw reflected in his eyes making her gasp. “What is this, Spike?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know,” he admitted with a shake of his head. “I felt it last night, too. That’s…that’s why I tossed you out. It scared me. I’ve never felt this way before, didn’t know I could feel this way, and I don’t even know you. Doesn’t feel like it should be happening at all, and you… You were just supposed to be…” He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“I didn’t expect it either. And I certainly wasn’t looking for it,” Buffy replied. “I felt something last night, too, but I thought… I thought maybe it was just because I’d never really had great sex before, so I was confusing things…” She blushed a deep red, something Spike found utterly adorable considering the fact he was buried balls-deep in her hot, tight quim.

“It’s not just a product of great sex, kitten,” Spike said. “Although I’d classify this as at least bloody fantastic sex.” At her chuckle, he kissed the tip of her nose, then continued. “I’ve had lots of sex, and usually, it’s pretty damn good. But I’ve never felt this. Not once.”

“So what is it then?” Buffy asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“It scares me a little.”

“Terrifies the hell out of me.” She laughed, almost nervously, and he echoed the sound. “I thought… Well, I thought when I came looking for you tonight that maybe I could just get you out my system. Bang your little knickers off, and then be done with it. But…” He paused to thrust, making her gasp. “I’m inside you right now and it’s only making me want you more than ever.”

She looked at him through hooded eyelids, a wicked grin on her face that had him panting again. “Maybe that’s ‘cause I didn’t have any ‘knickers’ to bang off.”

He mirrored her grin back at her. “Didn’t hurt, luv.”

“So where do we go from here then?”

He arched a scarred eyebrow. “Well, right now I think you better start moving before you get knocked out of the driver’s seat.”

Buffy didn’t back down from his challenge. Instead, she met his eyes, grabbed his shoulders for leverage, and began to move.

It had been a while since she’d done this, but from the sounds Spike was making, Buffy figured she must’ve not forgotten what to do. His hands reached under her skirt to grab hold of her bottom, squeezing the cheeks with just the right amount of roughness to make her moan. She in turn moved closer to him, her chest mashed against his as she wrapped her arms around him completely, her hands alternating between caressing his back and leaving red scratches against his pale skin.

She didn’t know what possessed her to do it. Maybe it was the way he’d reacted to her biting at his chest. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed to be fascinated doing it to her. Either way, she was drawn to the pale column of his neck, his skin glinting in the low light of the room.

Buffy leaned forward, took the flesh of his neck into her mouth, and bit down.

He roared and threw her back on the bed, mounting her again before she had a chance to blink. His cock was thrusting in and out of her with dizzying speed, and Buffy gasped to keep breathing, her fingers scratching at the bed sheets, desperate to find something to hold on to.

He leaned in, snarled at her neck, and suddenly, her whole body burst into pleasure.

She screamed, struggled to keep breathing against wave after wave of mind-numbing ecstasy before her whole world went black.

*** *** ***

This one’s been coming along pretty quickly on my end, so I’ll try to have another chapter up sometime later this week. Please take a moment to review.

Buffy groaned as she opened her eyes, feeling sore and groggy. For a moment, she couldn’t remember where she was or who she was with, until she turned her head slightly and saw who was beside her. “Spike…”

He was on his side, facing her, and he pushed a lock of hair away from her face. “Hey, kitten. I was wondering when you were going to come to.”

“What happened?” Buffy asked, her voice sounding hoarse.

“You blacked out during sex.” Something in the tone of his voice made him sound as if he were hiding something, though the next words he spoke sounded as if they were a revelation to him. “I was worried.”

Buffy was too tired to search for meanings behind what he was saying. Instead, she stretched, then rolled towards him, fighting to keep her eyelids open. “Can I just…sleep here for a bit? Is that all right?”

“Of course, luv. Here, let me tuck you in, yeah?”

She nodded, already starting to fall asleep as he pulled up the sheets and draped them around her. The cool silk felt good around her skin, and a small smile crept to her face. She felt tired, but good. Sated.

Soon, Spike was beside her, wrapping himself around her. She sighed dreamily, wondering when was the last time anyone had just held her.

Spike pressed his lips against her hairline, and she heard him inhale, as if he were breathing in the scent of her. One hand lingered in her hair, occasionally moving to stroke the golden strands while the other arm wrapped tightly around her waist, keeping her close to him.

As she drifted off to sleep, one thought stayed in her mind.

This wasn’t a momentary thing…

*** *** ***

Buffy woke still wrapped in the cocoon of Spike’s arms. He had her head in the crook of his neck and one of his hands had come to rest possessively on her bottom. His thigh was wedged between her legs, pressing intimately against her, and his cock was hard. She bit her bottom lip, contemplating whether or not she should wake him up and ask him to make love to her again. After all, it was still dark in the room, so it couldn’t be any later than…

She looked up, saw the clock across the room, and her eyes bulged. Ten thirty? She’d honestly been asleep that long?

It was then that she noticed the curtains over his windows were thick and black. No wonder the sun had woken her… Although with the windows facing the east, she could certainly understand why he would have blackout curtains. Spike didn’t strike her as an early riser.

She did a quick count in her head, realizing it was Wednesday. She’s last spoken to her boss on Monday, after she’d received the pictures of Riley and decided she needed a couple of “personal days,” but she knew she’d already taken off longer than she should with everything that had been going on in the office lately. Especially given the fact she hadn’t called in two days now…

Buffy tried to extricate herself from Spike’s arms, only to have them tighten around her. She tried again, thinking it was only a sleep reflex, but he did it again, this time adding a grumbled, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“It’s ten thirty,” she replied. “I was should’ve been at work two hours ago.”

“Yeah, well, then you’ve already missed it.” He opened his eyes, and the bright blue had her captivated. “Stay in bed with me today. I promise it’ll be much better than work.”

She nodded, finding herself completely unable to say no to him when he looked at her like that.

Buffy expected him to fall back asleep then, given the fact he still looked rather sleepy. Instead, however, he rolled her onto her other side, lifted her leg over his hip, and slid into her from behind. She cried out in surprise, though she found sleeping beside him alone was enough to make her wet and ready for his entry.

His teeth clamped down gently on her shoulder as he thrust in and out, taking no time to work up to a steady, hard rhythm. He growled softly into her skin, one hand skimming down her stomach to reach between her legs and rub her clit. She didn’t think she’d ever had a man take her quite the way he was now. It was rough, uneven, animalistic. She had the thought of a caveman after he’d clubbed a woman over the head and dragged her off to his cave, and she would’ve laughed at the mental image had she not been so swept up in what he was doing to her body.

Her hand curled backwards, her fingers tangling in his hair, the bleached curls tantalizingly soft against her skin as she held him in place, begging him without words not to stop what he was doing, not to leave her. His touch felt raw to her, as if there were no artifice, no games. He was laying herself bare before her.

Never, not even in five years of marriage, had she felt this sort of intimate passion with anyone. It seemed almost unreal that she’d be finding it with a virtual stranger, though she couldn’t deny what she was experiencing now. It was too bright, too big to ignore.

It didn’t take her long to come, not the way he was working her with cock and fingers. Her gasp drew out into a moan as she shuddered in his arms, feeling him follow her with a loud growl into her skin.

His hand slid back to her stomach and he licked at her shoulder like a cat, his cock partially softened but still nestled inside of her. Within moments, Buffy knew he’d fallen back asleep, and she was happy to follow him over.

Work could most definitely wait for another day.

*** *** ***

Buffy didn’t know how long she’d been asleep this time when she woke up again. She had a dim memory of waking up sometime between now and then to feel Spike sliding in and out of her, but had been awake just long enough to shudder around him before they both drifted off again.

Now, however, she was wide awake, hungry, and needed to pee. She tried to slip out of his arms, and again, he tightened his arm around her.

“Bathroom,” she said by way of explanation.

“Oh, right,” he muttered, barely awake from the sound of is voice. “’S over there.” He removed his arm and pointed towards a shut door, then let his arm drop, away from her this time.

“Thanks,” Buffy said, looking back long enough to drop a quick kiss on his forehead before she scurried off to the bathroom.

She stepped inside the bathroom and switched on the light, unable to keep from gasping as she did. It was huge, bigger than her living room. It was done entirely in black marble, and while there was a shower stall, a large, raised Jacuzzi tub set in the middle of the room.

Buffy knew she probably should’ve realized it when she’d seen his bed, though she hadn’t given a lot of thought to anything other than her desire for him until now. But this guy wasn’t lacking in funds.

Her gaze was transfixed to the tub. In her mind, he was there, sprawled out on the edge, all wet and naked… She licked her lips, throwing herself into the mental mix, imaging what it would be like to ride him hard with the water swirling around them…

Because in a tub that size, it wouldn’t take any strange twisting to comfortably fit two people in there. Or hell, more than two…

At that, Buffy found her thoughts taking another turn. This place wasn’t just expensive; it was set up for seduction. She wondered how many women Spike had picked up just like he had her. How many women had been wrapped up in those silken sheets?

She shook her head, pushing the thought away. He’d told her she meant something to him, that she was special, and she believed him. They’d both been on different paths before they’d come crashing into each other, and now they were…

Well, she didn’t really know what they were. Would she leave here tonight and go back to her life, with Spike nothing but a very pleasant memory? Why did that thought make her insides twist more than divorcing her husband?

Buffy decided not to dwell on it. She’d take this moment by moment, see where it led. He’d wanted her to stay around today, and that had to mean something, right?

It was too much to contemplate it all now. Whatever it was between them was too fresh and tender to try to dissect. And standing in the bathroom thinking about it was only wasting time she could be in bed with him.

With that thought, Buffy decided to hurry, using the toilet quickly before going to the sink. She looked around for a mirror, wanting to make sure she didn’t have runny make-up or crazy hair, but couldn’t seem to find one.

Odd, sure, but she brushed it off. He was a guy, after all, Maybe he didn’t really care what he looked like.

She reached for the faucet, pausing when she saw something dark smeared on the chrome. She flaked a bit off and pulled it up to eye level, inspecting it and realizing it looked suspiciously like blood.

He must’ve cut himself and come in here to wash it off…

She turned on the water then and washed her hands, satisfied with that reasoning. It made complete sense, after all. Just because Spike wore all black, lived in a refinished warehouse, and probably had a habit of picking up strange young women didn’t make him some whacked out serial killer, after all.

“Geez, Buffy, really – serial killer?” she mumbled to herself as she turned off the faucet, feeling stupid for even having that phrase enter her thoughts.

Shaking her head, she stepped back into the main room, her breath catching in her throat when she got a glimpse of Spike.

He was lounging in the bed, pale white skin against rumpled red and black satin sheets. He reminded her of some sort of old-fashioned lord, awaiting service. Her service…

It was enough to make her knees buckle.

He smirked when he caught her staring, winked, then beckoned her with a crooked finger, his tongue curling against his teeth.

Buffy walked towards the bed, praying her knees didn’t buckle on her. She’d never seen a man who was sexier than he was in that moment, and to know she was the one who got to be on the receiving end of his passion…

When she got to the edge of the bed, he moved so quickly she didn’t register he’d done it until he had her, until he was pulling her to him and situating her over his mouth. He growled into her dripping pussy then began to stab his tongue inside of her, feasting from her.

Buffy shouted out, the front half of her body toppling forward as Spike tightly gripped her hips. Her hands reached out, grasping, and ending up wrapped around a pole.

Her brow furrowed, and she wondered why Spike would have a mattress-high pole at the end of his bed until she noticed there was a pair of manacles attached to it. He kept a set of manacles by the bed? What sort of stuff was this man into?

But then she didn’t care, not when his inhumanly wonderful tongue was wrapped around her clit. She gripped the pole tighter, unable to stop her from vocalizing her pleasure – loudly.

And the louder she was, the more eager he was to please her. She came around his tongue and he didn’t stop. If anything, he redoubled his efforts, bringing her off two more times before she finally couldn’t take it anymore and begged him to stop.

He slid her back down and she flopped back to the mattress on her back, gasping to catch her breath. Her whole body was shaking, and for long moments, she couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought.

When she finally could, she turned to him, still panting, her arm draped over her forehead.

“Do you really have manacles at the end of the bed?”

A smirk slowly spread across Spike’s face as his eyebrow went up.

“Yeah, I do. Wanna try them out?”

*** *** ***

More to come soon. Please review.

As Buffy listened to the clang of the manacle closing around her second wrist, she started to question her decision to let him do this. What if he was some kind of psycho serial killer? What if he had just been waiting to have her at his mercy so he could go all hatchety-murdery on her?

Although she supposed he could’ve done that when she was asleep, if he were so inclined…

“Relax, kitten. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Spike smiled down at her and stroked his cheek. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It’s supposed to be about fun, yeah?”

Buffy nodded, even as she swallowed. “You’ll stop if I ask you to, right?”

“Of course, lamb. Just say the word and I’ll let you go.”

Buffy took a deep breath, pushing herself to trust him here, to trust him with her body. “Okay.”

Spike ran his hand down her hair, caressing the golden strands. “Do you think I could talk you into letting me blindfold you?”

Her eyes widened at that. She was still trying to accustom herself to the manacles on her wrists, and now he wanted to blindfold her? She didn’t know if she could do that…

He leaned in, whispered hotly against her ear. “I’ll make you feel so good, baby. Make you come over and over again…”

Her body flushed and her pussy throbbed. Whatever he wanted to do to her, she’d let him, if only he’d ease this ache he’d created inside her.

Spike smirked, taking her writhing and panting as acceptance of his proposal. He opened a drawer beside his bed and pulled out a silk scarf before folding one and wrapping it around her eyes.

Her heart rate sped, her breath quickened. Fear was mixing with lust, and she didn’t know if she wanted to shrink away or arch towards him. It was a heady combination that had her every nerve on end.

She waited for him to do something, anything. Her world was dark and silent, aside from her own labored breathing. The man who had been on the bed with her seemed to have vanished, leaving her flush and wanting.

And then she felt the ghost of his touch, feather-light against her needy skin. He trailed one finger from her cheek down past the curve of her breast, then up again, swirling against her hardened nipple, pulling goosebumps to the surface of her flesh.

He moved away from her chest before she was ready, making her whimper as he slowly trained the finger down her body, carefully avoiding the places she wanted him most.

Then, just when she thought his actions couldn’t get any more torturous, he started the process all over again – with his tongue.

He licked and nipped at every inch of her body he could reach except the junction of her thighs. She writhed, begged him with moans and whimpers. His response was to run his tongue up the length of her body until his mouth was against her ear, needy puffs of breath stirring her blonde hair.

“It’s a shame you can’t see yourself right now, luv,” he said, his voice dark and husky. “You’re bloody gorgeous, glistening and flushed from wanting me.”

“Spike…” The word was spoken softly, no more than a whisper, yet it was thick with desire.

“You need me to touch you somewhere else?”

“Yes…”

“Say the word, kitten. I want to hear you tell me where you need me.”

Buffy opened her mouth, but only a hoarse cry of desperation came out as she thrust her hips.

He nipped at her earlobe then licked the pulse point of her neck. “Say it. Tell me where you want me touching you.”

“My…” She swallowed hard, gathering the strength to speak like she rarely did. “My pussy…”

As soon as the word was out of her mouth, Spike’s hand traveled down her body again, this time to gently rub one finger up and down her slit. Buffy moaned, struggling in her chains.

“That what you wanted, baby?”

She whimpered in frustration.

“Is that a no?”

Buffy licked her lips. “Spike, please…”

“Please what?”

“Make…make me come…”

“Tell me how.”

Her body tensed, and Spike didn’t have to see her eyes to know she was giving him a dirty look. “I know you know how.”

He laughed low in his throat. “I want to know how you’d do it. If your hands were free, what would they be doing right now?”

Her cheeks colored, and Spike smirked at the sight. Dripping wet and chained to his bed and she was getting bashful on him.

“How would you start, kitten?” he coaxed her. “Would you go right to your clit?”

Buffy shook her head, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

“You’d tease yourself a bit first?”

She nodded.

“How?”

“I…I’d put my finger inside…”

“Yeah? Like this?” Spike slid his index finger into her body, pumping it in and out with a slow, steady rhythm.

“Uh huh. Like…like that.”

“Mmm…gets it good an’ wet like this, yeah? Makes me so hard thinkin’ about you doin’ this. Spread out, touchin’ your gorgeous quim. Tell me more about it, baby.”

He could see her getting braver, less afraid of saying something wrong. “I…I usually add another finger…”

“Do you?” He added his middle finger. “Like this?”

Buffy moaned, pushing her hips up. “Yeah… Yours…yours are better, though.”

He grinned. “Are they?”

“Thicker…” Buffy said before trailing off into a moan.

Spike’s grin widened as he pumped his fingers harder in and out of her, watching her face as her mouth formed a tiny “o.” Her breath was coming in harsh pants, her hips thrusting in an attempt to capture more of him.

“I’d…I’d take them out and start touching my clit now,” she told him, desire pushing away the last of her nervousness.

“How do you do it? Do you rub in circles? Do you go back and forth? Up and down?”

“I…” She blushed again, but gave him his answer anyway. “Back and forth…”

He pulled his fingers out and rubbed her clit. “Like this?”

“Harder. Faster.”

“This?”

“Oh, yeah…” She gasped, her body trembling.

Suddenly, he dropped his hand, pushing three fingers inside this time as his mouth fell to her clit, lapping at the needy bundle of nerves. Buffy cried out in surprise and bucked her hips.

“I…I can’t do that to myself…” she said, her voice shaky.

Spike smirked against her. “Yeah, well, I’m improvising,” he said before his tongue was lapping at her again.

“I…I like improvisation,” Buffy said before she was beyond words. She could only gasp and moan, crying out when she broke apart against his mouth.

For long moments, they were both still, save for the muscles Buffy couldn’t stop from trembling. She could feel him panting against her, stirring her swollen flesh.

Finally, he moved back up her body and pushed the blindfold up. She stared up at him, wide-eyed. She looked so beautiful to him in that moment. So trusting and innocent despite the fact she was chained up and still trembling from the aftershocks of an orgasm.

“Are you all right with me taking you while you’re still chained up?” Spike asked his hand cupped her cheek.

“Can…can I watch you when you do?” Buffy asked. “I…your eyes are so intense when we…” She trailed off, her blush back again.

Spike had had more than his fair share of lovers, yet none of them had ever paid him that particular compliment before. He pushed the blindfold off completely, letting it fall to the ground.

She smiled at him and he sucked him a breath, the look making him feel things he didn’t know he could…

He pushed them to the back of his mind and slid into her body. She was tight and hot, and he focused on the feel of her, the way she fit him, the way she clutched at him with every stroke, as if she needed him. As if it were something more than mere want.

“You’ve never had it this good, have you, luv?” Spike asked, making her cry out when he changed his angle and stabbed deep inside of her.

“Never…” Buffy affirmed for him, her hands flexing in the manacles. She made up for not being able to touch him with her fingers by sliding her feet up, caressing his legs and buttocks. “Never.”

Spike leaned forward, kissing and licking her neck as he continued to move inside of her. “You’re so hot, kitten,” he panted against her. “I almost forgot how hot women can be.”

“And I never knew men could be so big…”

The words seemed to tumble out on their own accord and Spike would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so far gone.

Instead, he kept sliding in and out, concentrating on the feel of her, the sounds she made. The way she held on to him.

“Spike, oh god, yes…please…Spike.”

He didn’t know where the next words came from. He hadn’t said them in so long, but they rushed out of his mouth before he could stop them. “It’s William.”

She moaned in response, the low sound sliding into his name. “William…”

He shuddered. That was what he’d wanted to hear.

A scream erupted from her and she came, shaking and bucking beneath him. He snarled and shot inside of her.

Harsh panting filled the room, until Buffy broke the still quiet.

“Um, can I have my hands back now? I think I’m losing circulation.”

Spike chuckled and rolled off her body. “Yeah, let me get the key.”

“You do know where it is, don’t you?”

He reached over and took a box from the bedside table, opened it up, and took out a key. “Right here, luv.” He smirked. “Although now that I think about it, I kind of like the idea of you staying right where you are.”

Buffy responded with a wide-eyed pout. Spike swallowed his Adam’s apple bobbing.

Since when did women affect him like this with a mere jut of a bottom lip?

He unlocked the manacles and gently massaged her hands, working the circulation back into them. She smiled at him and he pulled her into his arms, lying back on the bed with her against his chest.

“You know, I think I really hate my husband now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause if men are capable of that, then he’s so been holding out on me.”

Spike laughed. “Oh, baby, not all men can do that. Just the really special ones.”

She giggled and nuzzled closer to him. “Then I’m glad I met a special one.” Suddenly, she grew stiffer in his arms, and Spike noticed.

“Something wrong, pet?”

“I…I don’t know, I was just thinking…” She paused and coughed. “It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s clearly something. What were you thinking?”

Buffy didn’t look up at him. Instead, she drummed an uneasy pattern against his skin with her fingers. “You can say no, and it’ll be okay. I mean, I’d totally get it, ‘cause you weren’t really looking for anything serious, and I’m sure you’ve got this whole life that I’d just get in the way of or something, but…”

“You want to know if you can see me again. On purpose this time.”

“Yeah…”

“I shouldn’t,” Spike admitted. “My life…it’s complicated, Buffy.”

Her chest tightened and she forced herself not to cry. She’d known that was going to be his answer, and she shouldn’t let it upset her now. This hadn’t ever been meant to be more than one time, and she’d gotten two now. It wasn’t fair of her to ask for a relationship when she’d presented herself as a one-night stand to begin with. “Yeah, I get that. It’s okay. I just had to try asking.”

“I said I shouldn’t. Not I won’t,” Spike said quickly.

Buffy looked up, a flicker of hope in her eyes. “Oh?”

“But I’m not…I’m not some Prince Charming, Buffy. I come with baggage. And there’s parts of my life you can’t be involved in.”

Warning flags should be waving. She knew that. Something told her she was getting in way over her head. But the way she felt right now – the way she felt with him – how could she give this up? “I want to be with you.”

Spike nodded. “I want to be with you, too.”

Buffy trailed her finger down his chest. “Do you think maybe we could like…go on a date? I haven’t been on a date in ages.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” he replied with a grin. “I haven’t been on one of those in quite a while either.”

“So…you really do like me then?”

“How could I not? You’re bloody adorable, kitten.” She blushed, ducked her head again, and Spike chuckled. “See, right there. Adorable.”

Buffy smiled at him; he had to kiss her.

*** *** ***

Are you all still liking this one? Please review.

“Where in the world have you been?”

Buffy turned sharply as the door to the breakroom swung open and two of her co-workers came in. She raised her eyebrow, settled her gaze on the one who had spoken. “Anya, you dyed your hair again.”

“No changing the subject, missy,” Anya replied, wagging her finger. “You were supposed to help me on that presentation, and you totally bailed.”

“Oh god, Anya, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot about that. I caught Riley cheating on me this weekend, and…”

“You bailed for that?” Anya replied. “I’m sorry, Buffy, but your husband is boring and not pleasingly-shaped. You should be grateful he cheated on you. It’ll give you an excuse to get away from him and find someone with a personality that doesn’t resemble cardboard.”

The redhead who had followed Anya into the breakroom gasped. “Anya! How can you say that? Buffy had her heart crushed this weekend! You need to…”

“She’s right, Willow,” Buffy said quickly, making the woman stop in mid lecture to drop her jaw. “And that’s actually exactly what I did, which is why I bailed on the project. I met this really hot guy and spent all day yesterday having amazing sex.” Even as the words were leaving her mouth, Buffy was wondering how she was having such an easy time saying them. Usually announcing something like that at work, even if there were only two other people around, would have been something she wouldn’t have as much as considered doing, but right now, she didn’t care. She felt fantastic.

“Oh.” Anya crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I’m incredibly jealous, but I would’ve done the same thing, so…”

Buffy smirked. “I know you would have.”

Willow eyed the two blondes with her warily. “Buffy, are you sure you’re okay, because you really don’t sound like yourself. You don’t do things like sleep with guys you just met.” She lowered her voice and asked the next part in a near-whisper, “Did…did finding out Riley was cheating make you snap or something?”

“Yeah, maybe a little,” Buffy replied with a frown. “Well, at first. I went out to find someone just to get revenge, you know? But then I met this guy, and he was gorgeous, and he…”

“Wait, wait,” Anya said holding up her hands. She sat down at one of the tables then gestured to the chair beside her. “Take a seat and continue. I haven’t had sex in two weeks. You have to make up for bailing on me by easing the pain of my dry spell with details of your sexy new friend.”

“Two weeks is a dry spell?” Willow asked, her voice squeaking slightly.

“It is when you’re trampy.” Anya replied offhandedly before she turned back to Buffy. “Now sit. Share.”

Normally the idea of sex talk with Anya Jenkins would have Buffy running for the exit, although now she could admit to herself that a lot of that was jealousy. It had been difficult to hear Anya go on and on about her multiple orgasms when Buffy still wasn’t sure her husband knew a clitoris existed.

Now, however, she was anxious to spill. She eagerly pulled up the proffered chair.

Willow worried her lip between her teeth for a moment, her eyes darting between her coworkers and the door before she gave in and joined them.

“Okay, first off, I want a name. You can tell a lot about a guy from his name.” Anya’s brow wrinkled. “Although some of the best sex I ever had was with a guy named Wilbur. I mean, you’d never hear ‘Wilbur’ and think mind-blowing orgasms, but this Wilbur…” Anya fanned herself with her hand. “Wow. But anyway – your guy.”

Buffy thought for a second about what answer to give. He’d only called himself “William” the one time, and for the rest of the weekend, he’d been Spike. For some reason, she got the feeling that “William” was something he kept hidden from most people, something private. “His name is Spike.”

Willow choked. “Spike? You…you went off and had sex with some strange guy named Spike? Geez, Buffy, he could’ve been like a serial killer!”

Buffy’s eyes widened slightly, but she kept her own musings from before to herself.

Anya waved her hand dismissively. “Oh come on, Willow. Serial killers don’t have names like Spike. That would be too obvious. They have names like Ted and Gary.” She frowned. “Now that I think about it, Wilbur could be a good serial killer name, too.”

Willow stared at Anya for a moment. “You should really, really try therapy.”

Anya responded to Willow with no more than a roll of her eyes before her attention was back on Buffy. “So was he hung? I mean, with a name like Spike, he’s either hung or someone’s being ironic, and from that grin that was plastered on your face earlier, I’m guessing it wasn’t the irony route.”

“Huge,” Buffy confirmed. “And oh god, the man has stamina. He was like the Energizer Bunny of Erections.”

“That thing creeps me out, with its freakishly pink fur and little drum.” Anya shivered. “But do continue.” She leaned forward, a conspiratorial grin on her face. “Did you do anything kinky?”

“Yes.”

“Well? I had to stand in there and face Snyder all by myself. You better provide something juicy.”

On her side of the table, Willow was quickly turning the same color of her hair. “I’m not sure this is really a work-appropriate conversation.”

“Oh, stop being such a prude,” Anya said with a snort. “Now kinky details. Gimme.”

“Well, he, um, chained me to the bed.”

Anya’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Uh huh,” Buffy said, nodding her head. “And then he blindfolded me.”

“Go on,” Anya said as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table.

“You…you let a stranger chain you down and blindfold you?” Willow asked quickly before Buffy could respond. “That doesn’t sound very safe…”

“He’s not a stranger,” Buffy replied, her voice small. “He’s…Spike.”

“I still can’t believe you’d actually get involved with a guy with a name like that,” Willow said. “Buffy, what are you thinking?”

Anya snorted. “I know what she’s thinking, and I’m right there with her. I mean, if a man can get away with calling himself ‘Spike,’ he’s got to have something to show for it.”

“Boy does he ever,” Buffy said, the words seeming to tumble out. “I mean really. It’s huge.”

“I can’t believe you’re talking like this!” Willow hissed.

“I talk like this all the time,” Anya said with a shrug.

“Not you. Buffy.” Willow turned towards the blonde. “I understand that you’re upset about Riley. And…and you’re probably feeling all liberated or something now, but it isn’t safe to start having a fling with some strange guy who’s probably all dangerous and stuff. There’s other ways to cope with finding yourself suddenly single. There’s support groups, and…”

“This isn’t about Riley,” Buffy said, cutting Willow off. “I mean yeah, it was at first. I wanted revenge and I wanted to get a little of my own back in the process. But then, after what happened, that changed. It’s not about losing Riley. It’s about finding Spike. I…I think I could really fall for this guy.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re all lusty about him!” Willow exclaimed, blushing slightly when she realized she was shouting. She lowered her voice, then spoke again. “Buffy, this isn’t like you. I’ve known you since high school. You…well, you’re a good girl. You’re just all mixed up because of what Riley did and now this Spike guy has you turned around even more. But he’s not falling for you. He’s taking advantage of a girl who just got her heart stomped on. If he’s making you think he cares, then it’s just because he wants in to your pants.”

Buffy sucked in a deep breath. “He didn’t have to care to get that. You don’t know anything about him, Willow. And honestly, I’m not sure how much you even know about me right now.”

Willow was quiet for a moment, hurt surprise in her eyes, before her expression hardened. “I’m not sure how much I know about you either. But right now, I have work to do.” She pushed past Willow and Anya and out of the breakroom.

“Well, isn’t she a mood killer,” Anya huffed as the door swung shut behind Willow.

Buffy sighed, her good spirits seeming to be fading away. “I don’t know, maybe she’s right. I mean, I don’t really know Spike. And can’t amazing sex sometimes make people think there’s more of a connection than there really is? Because of pheromones or whatever?”

Anya rolled her eyes. “Buffy, don’t listen to Willow. I know she’s your friend and all, but seriously – that stick is so far up her ass she probably craps splinters.”

“But…”

“No. None of that. You deserve this, okay? I saw what that jackass put you through long before now. You’re young, you’re free – there is no reason in the world for you to not do what you want. Don’t listen to Willow. She’s just jealous ‘cause she’s not having hot nasty sex.”

Buffy chuckled. “You think so?”

“I know so. Hell, I’m incredibly jealous, and I’ve gotten some recently.”

“I’ve just never felt like this with anyone. And I know it’s crazy, and I know that every bit of common sense says that this is a bad, bad road to go down, but you know what? I don’t think I care. I mean, so what if things with Spike aren’t long term? Why does every relationship have to be about till death do you part? I’m enjoying now.”

“So enjoy now,” Anya said with a shrug. “Don’t let yourself get dragged down by someone else’s idea of how you should behave.”

“You sure are being supportive.”

“Yeah, well…honestly?” Anya cleared her throat. “I’m sorta hoping if I’m nice to you, you’ll ask him if he has a brother.”

*** *** ***

“I have a flower delivery for Buffy Finn.”

Buffy turned sharply, eyes widening at the sight of a dozen red roses filling the entrance to her cubicle. She didn’t have to read the tag to know who they were from. There were only two men in her life, and she knew one of them wasn’t going to call her “Buffy Finn” or send roses to her work. She struggled for a moment to find her voice even as bile pushed up in her throat. “Set them on the desk,” she managed to croak out.

The delivery man did as she asked and thrust a clipboard at her. She signed mechanically, her mind reeling.

He didn’t honestly think he could win her back with something as trite as flowers?

Hand shaking, she reached for the card, read his message. Apparently, he actually did.

Buffy balled up the card and threw it in the garbage. For a moment, she sat there, staring at the roses, the sickness inside her rapidly being replaced by pure anger. How dare he? He screwed around on her and now he thought that he could get himself back in her good graces with a gift – and one with no thought or originality at that. Was she no more to him than one of his whores?

It wasn’t until the vase shattered on the ground and the roses spilled out that Buffy realized she’d knocked it off her desk.

“Buffy? Are you all right?”

She looked up from her desk, grateful to see it was the boss she actually liked and not the one she loathed. Snyder probably would’ve found some reason to fire her right then and there. Rupert Giles, however, was looking at her with concern.

“They were from Riley,” Buffy explained, her emotions morphing again, making her want to cry. “I didn’t mean to knock them over. It…it just sort of happened.”

Giles nodded. He had been who Buffy had called when she’d first found out about Riley, and it appeared that his sympathy hadn’t run out yet. “Don’t worry yourself over it. I’ll call someone from janitorial to clean it up. Are you all right enough to be here, Buffy? If you need more time…”

Buffy shook her head, wiping away the few tears that had escaped her attempts to push them back. “No, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting that, and it threw me for a loop. But I want to be back at work. If I was at home, I’d just be alone with my thoughts, and I don’t really want that right now.”

“I can understand that.” Giles started to walk away, but then turned and stepped back into her cube. “Oh, and Buffy – if he keeps harassing you, well, I used to be quite a formidable bloke back in my day, and I doubt I’d have any trouble scaring your pillock husband now. Just, you know, in case it’s needed.”

He winked at her, and Buffy could feel her spirits lifting back to where they’d been earlier already. “Thanks, Giles. I’ll keep that in mind.”

With a nod, Giles headed off.

Buffy took a deep breath and turned her focus to her work.

*** *** ***

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. I didn’t expect such a huge response to this fic, and it means a lot to know it’s being enjoyed so much.

Buffy didn’t think she should be here. They had their date set up, and if she just showed up out of the blue, she would probably be crowding him.

Only it was where she’d ended up after work. She’d told herself she was going home and would wait the next couple days until they’d agreed to meet, but instead, she’d ended up at his door, her fist knocking against it.

He didn’t seem upset to see her. He didn’t seem distressed that she’d show up unannounced and was pushing too far into his life. Quite the contrary. He greeted her by pulling her in through the door and kissing her, his moan vibrating in her mouth.

“What have you done to me?” he groaned as he broke from her mouth and kicked the door shut. “You’re all I can bloody think about.”

“You did it to me,” Buffy replied, clutching at his shoulders. “There’s never been anyone I couldn’t stay away from. Not like this.”

Spike ran his hands up her thighs, pushing up the skirt that had seemed so sensible that morning, smoothing over tan skin. “Want you, need you…fuck, kitten.”

He picked her up; her shoe hit the ground. Together, they moved towards the bed, collapsing on the mattress in a heap. She heard his zipper come down, and a second later, he was inside her, moving, filling her.

Buffy didn’t let go of him, tried to pull him closer. He leaned down, surrounded her with his body, his face buried against her neck.

The pleasure that hit her was searing, and Buffy held Spike tighter, needing him to anchor her. She thought she heard him growl against her, a deep rumble rushing through him before he was coming inside her, making her gasp and tremble along with him.

As the aftershocks stilled, Spike kissed Buffy’s neck and rose up above her, his tongue tracing over his lips. “I’m glad you came over, luv.”

“Yeah? I thought…” Her eyes darted down, the look he was giving her too intense. “I thought you might be mad.”

Spike frowned. “Why would I be?”

Buffy traced random shapes against the sheets. “I just…don’t want to be clingy. I mean, you’re a single guy, you don’t want some woman showing up at your house whenever.”

Spike’s scarred eyebrow arched. “Oh yeah. I can’t stand it when a hot woman comes over desperate for me to shag her brains out.”

Buffy’s cheeks reddened. “Well, I guess when you put it that way…”

Spike leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. “Whatever this thing is, I’m in the throes of it, too, pet. I’ve been going crazy all day, needing to be inside you, needing to taste you. I crave you.”

“Why?” Buffy asked, her eyes searching his.

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to sort it out, figure what it is about you that’s got me all turned about, but I can’t.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead, breathing in the scent of her skin. “There’ve been a lot of women, Buffy. A lot of years of not caring. And then you. You’ve bewitched me.”

She caressed his cheek and he looked up. “If anyone’s done any bewitching here, buster, it’s you. I was just looking to get laid.”

Spike laughed and it made Buffy grin up at him. “That’s all I was looking for, too, luv.” He propped himself up on one arm and used the other one to unbutton her shirt. “Maybe we should stop trying to figure this out and just work on the getting laid part, yeah?” He winked.

“Mmm…I like that part.” Buffy ran her shoeless foot up Spike’s leg. “Get me naked.”

“Well, well. Who’s being a bossy little bint now?”

“I am. Me naked, then you naked. Get to it.”

Spike pulled up on his knees and shook his finger at Buffy. “I’m only agreeing this because I want it, too. Not ‘cause I let you boss me around.”

“Please. I bet there’s a part of you that likes me bossing you around,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

“You think so?” Spike asked, eyebrow quirked. “Maybe you just like being bossy.”

Buffy blushed. “I’ve never really… I mean, before you, I didn’t…” She blushed harder.

“It’s all right, luv. I know you didn’t have a lot of experience before.”

She looked at him, horrified. “Is it that obvious?”

“Not like you’re thinking, kitten. It’s all in your responses. The way your eyes widen when I make you feel something you’ve never felt before. You thought you knew your body before I touched you and showed you things you never imagined it could do.” He smirked down at her, his eyes sparkling. “Watching you learn how you can feel, that’s bloody intoxicating, luv. Now tell me what you want.”

“I already told you. Shared nakedness,” Buffy answered, though her voice was soft and her blush was back.

“Oh, I can do that,” Spike told her, smirk still in place as he ran his finger along the lace of her bra. “But I know you don’t want to just lie here starkers.”

“I…”

His expression grew cocky. “Come on, baby. Boss me around.”

He watched her internal debate reflected in her eyes before she was the one smirking. “I thought I already did. And yet, I still see clothes.”

Spike smiled back, glad to see she was game. “Better rectify that then.”

“You better.”

Without another word, Spike pulled off the rest of Buffy’s clothes before stripping himself. He then stood at the edge of the bed, arms outstretched. “I’m all yours, pet. Where do you want me?”

“Well, for starters, I think you’re the pet here right now, and where I want you is on your back in this bed.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Buffy could barely believe she’d said them – yet the smoldering look in Spike’s eyes made her glad she did. While she’d come to accept the type of sex life she had with her husband, Buffy had always secretly yearned to find someone who would want her to explore her sensual side, and now that she had, she found it was turning her on even more than she had imagined.

Spike crawled onto the bed and over her legs, Buffy shuddering with desire and excitement as she watched him move. He was gorgeous; she wanted to explore every inch of him.

And she could.

She watched Spike as he settled in beside her, his hands folded beneath his head. The look on his face made it clear that he was being just submissive enough to play – and only because it suited him for now. He could turn the tables on her at any moment, and the knowledge of that made Buffy’s pulse race faster.

It also gave her an idea – one she wasn’t sure she should act on. She paused, chewing her bottom lip as she debated her next move.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking, kitten, you can let me in on it,” Spike said as Buffy’s pause began to drag. “There’s nothing that pretty little head of yours can come up with that will make me throw you from my bed. And in all honesty, there’s really not that much I wouldn’t be game for.”

“I…well…”

Buffy’s eyes darted to a spot above his head and back, and Spike grinned as he caught on to what she was thinking. “You wanna chain me up.”

“No! Well…yeah, kinda.” Buffy ducked her head shyly, her face partially hidden behind golden hair as her voice got smaller and she asked, “Is that all right?”

“It’s more than all right. Hell, I was hoping you’d ask.” He added with a wink, “Why do you think I picked this spot on the bed?”

Buffy perked up, her embarrassment replaced by a small smile. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry I’m acting like such a sex wuss. It’s just that I’ve been with Riley for so long, and he would’ve freaked out if I mentioned something like this.”

“Riley your husband?”

“Yes.”

“He’s a nit.” Spike snorted. “Riley. What a nancy boy name. Any guy who doesn’t get turned on at the thought of a beautiful woman like you having him at her mercy needs to have his dick checked, make sure it’s not broken.”

Buffy chuckled. “I’m seriously questioning why I married him in the first place, never mind why I stayed with him for so long. He actually sent me flowers today at work in some lame attempt to get me back.”

Spike pulled his upper body up and rested on his elbows. “He what?”

“He sent me roses. It pissed me off. I trashed them.”

“Wanker. Is that why you came over tonight?”

“Part of the reason,” Buffy admitted. “Though mainly I just missed you.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I brought him up. Me talking about my soon-to-be-ex-husband while we’re in bed is probably a total mood killer for you.”

“Nah. All you have to do is breathe, and I’m good to go.”

Buffy blinked. “Breathe?”

“It makes your tits bounce.”

“Oh.” She looked down. “There’s not a lot there to bounce.”

“Pfft. You’ve got great tits, luv. Really. I’m quite fond of them myself.”

“You are?”

Spike sat up and moved closer to her so he could favor each one of her pert nipples with a kiss. “Yes. Now are you chaining me up or not?”

Buffy moved towards the manacles and leaned over the edge of the bed to lift one of the chains, the cuff dangling in the air. “Is there anything special I have to do with these?”

Spike’s answering grin was amused. “Just lock them around my wrists, luv.”

“Do you know where the key is?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’s going to be fine. Just do what you want to do.” Spike smoothed the side of her hair and locked his eyes with hers. “Whatever you do, Buffy, it’ll turn me on. There’s no room for doubt there.”

Buffy smiled at him in response, and she looked so beautiful in that moment Spike couldn’t stop himself from kissing her. He guided her face forward, keeping his hand against her cheek, feeling Buffy melt into him. He brought her back down onto the bed, the manacle clanking against the pole as she let it go. Spike deepened the kiss, covering her body with his, his cock brushing against her folds. He took hold of her leg and started to position her to ease his entry when Buffy pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.

Beneath him, she was pouting. “I’m supposed to be chaining you up.”

Spike looked sheepish. “Sorry, kitten. I got a little carried away.”

“It’s all right. Nice to know I have that effect on you.”

“No questions about that.”

“So I can feel against my leg.”

Spike winked and gave her a quick peck before rolling onto his back and stretching out his arms. “All right, luv. I’m all yours.”

Buffy sat up again, moving without hesitation this time to clasp the manacles around Spike’s wrists. “That good?”

Spike swallowed, his cock bobbing. “Yeah.”

With Spike secured, Buffy looked him over, her tongue peeking out involuntarily to wet her lips. He was stretched taut, his pale skin exposed and on display for her. “God, you’re pretty,” Buffy said, the words coming out with a rush of breath. Spike smirked at her, and Buffy fought her blush. This wasn’t the time to be nervous or shy. She knew she had it in her to be more confident in the bedroom, and it was time for her to channel her inner vixen.

She leaned forward and ran her hand down his chest, feeling the muscles ripple. Spike made a small sound of contentment, and Buffy took it as a sign to continue. She added her other hand, reveling in just the simple feel of his skin beneath her fingers. He was smooth and hard at once and just touching him had her trembling.

Suddenly, she got a perverse urge, and she couldn’t stop herself from acting on it.

At the first brush of her fingertips, Spike giggled, though he quickly tried to glare instead. His efforts were futile, however, when he began to laugh more, squirming as he did. “Oi, now! Knock it off,” he said between chuckles.

Buffy responded with an impish grin. “Nope. You said you’re at my mercy.” She moved to his other side and began tickling him there as well.

Spike tried to wriggle away; Buffy countered by straddling his hips in an attempt to hold him in place. However, as soon as she did, she grew distracted by the feel of his cock sliding against her. She moaned, the slightest touch from him enough to make her suddenly desperate to be full. She raised her body and gripped him then sank down without preamble, making Spike cry out with surprised pleasure, his hips bucking up, pushing him deeper inside her.

Buffy placed her hands on his chest and met his eyes. She wasn’t quite sure where her next words came from, only that as she said them, she realized they were exactly what she wanted to say. “Don’t come.”

Spike opened his mouth as if to protest, but seemed to think better of it and snapped it shut. Instead, he nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

Buffy brought herself upright, moving on Spike experimentally as she tried to find what felt the best to her. She’d never had this before, never had the chance to be completely in control, explore what she liked.

However, Spike was watching her too intensely, and it made it hard for Buffy to let go of her inhibitions completely. So she let her eyes slide shut, concentrating on nothing but bodies, hers as it found pleasure from his.

The movement of her hips became steadier, more sure, and her hands traveled up, tugging on her nipples. She heard Spike groan beneath her, felt his hips buck hard once, but he did what she’d told him to do and didn’t come. If she’d opened her eyes, Buffy would’ve seen his jaw was tight and his hands were clenched above his head. She didn’t. Instead, she kept her eyes screwed shut and just felt.

Still, she remained keenly aware of who the man beneath her was. Buffy knew, even as her body coiled tighter, that even if Riley had allowed her to take this sort of control in bed, it wouldn’t have been like this. Even with her in the driver’s seat, it was Spike making her feel so good.

Her eyes snapped open at the moment she fell over, his name ripped from her as she bucked helplessly for several moments then collapsed against Spike’s chest. “Holy shit,” she said between heavy pants, her face buried in the crook of his neck.

“Uh huh. Buffy…” He thrust his hips, pointing out his still-rigid erection. “Please, baby…”

He sounded as if he were so much in need, Buffy couldn’t tell him no. Instead, she whispered against his neck, “Tell me what to do.”

“Bite my neck. Hard.”

Buffy frowned against his skin. The request seemed…odd. Not at all what she’d expected him to say. Still, if it was really what he wanted…

She sunk her teeth into his neck, and Spike roared, slamming his hips up so hard that Buffy’s eyes widened and she let out a squeak.

He came inside her, and she realized with a shiver the roar was in fact her name.

Suddenly, she was on her back with Spike pounding into her so hard she didn’t have a chance to wonder how he’d managed to get free.

*** *** ***

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Buffy lay on the bed, panting as she listened to Spike searching for something in the drawer beside the bed. After a moment, she realized he was freeing himself from the manacles.

Which were somehow no longer attached to the pole at the head of the bed.

“How did you get free?” Buffy asked as the chains clinked to the floor.

Spike’s back was to her, and it grew rigid as he paused before finally answering. “I guess they weren’t connected very well. I did it myself, and I’m not exactly a professional welder.”

Buffy had thought they’d seemed pretty well attached when she’d been in them. But then again, Spike probably was a good bit stronger than her. If they hadn’t been welded very well, she supposed it was possible he would be capable of breaking them.

Well, of course it possible, she chided herself. She’d seen him do it. It wasn’t like he could somehow use superhuman strength to break the chains.

She sat up and moved behind him, running her hands up his back to his shoulders before placing a soft kiss against the mark she’d left when she’d bitten him earlier. He relaxed against her, moaning softly at her touch.

“God, you’re incredible,” she said as she nipped at his ear. “Really fucking amazing.”

Spike hummed in his throat. “We’re good together, luv.”

Buffy smiled, his declaration warming her. She wanted nothing more than to let him wrap her up in his arms so she could sleep next to him in that big, soft bed, but she knew that would only lead to missing work in the morning. Again. She pulled back reluctantly, letting her hands slip away from him. “I should probably go.”

Spike turned towards her quickly. “Why?”

“I have to go to work in the morning.”

“You can go from here.”

Buffy arched an eyebrow. “Tried that. You seduced me so I’d stay and keep having sex with you.”

“Oh, right. Guess there’s no way I could convince you to quit your job and become my full-time love slave.”

“Tempting, but no. For one thing, I think that would result in the permanent loss of the use of my legs.”

“As long as I can still get them up in the air, I’m good.” Spike replied with a shrug.

Buffy smacked his shoulder. “Pig.”

He smiled in a way that made him look way more charming and innocent than he should, especially considering the next words out of his mouth. “You can’t stick around for one more shag?”

“Oh my god do you like put Viagra in your Wheaties? How does it keep getting up?”

“You’re very inspiring.”

Buffy snorted. “I guess.” She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before she forced herself to move away. “Sorry, if I give you that, then you’ll convince me to stick around for another and then we’re just stuck in a vicious cycle.”

“Not vicious. Bloody lovely.”

It was tempting, Buffy had to admit. It would be so easy to simply lose herself in this man’s arms and forget about the outside world completely. But practically, she knew she couldn’t. As much as Spike seemed to like having her around now, they’d only known each other for a few days, and chances were greater than not that he’d grow tired of her after a while. The divorce itself was already going to wreak havoc on her finances. She certainly couldn’t afford to lose her job because she couldn’t keep her hands of a guy, albeit a gorgeous one.

“I can’t. But we have out date tomorrow night, and if you want to, you can have me all weekend.”

Spike grinned wolfishly. “Promise?”

“Yes.”

He tugged her back to him long enough to kiss her until she broke away panting. He looked at her with dark eyes full of lust.

How she managed to move away, get dressed, and leave, Buffy wasn’t sure.

*** *** ***

Buffy sighed as the hot water from her shower pounded over sore muscles. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever ached like this. Every inch of her was sore.

She’d suspected for a while that Riley was more or less a dud in bed, especially since the amount of effort he put towards her pleasure seemed to have an inverse relationship with the length of their marriage.

But Spike… She didn’t think he was quite the norm either. His stamina seemed damn near inhuman. He’d come only to stay hard and keep moving inside of her. When she thought about it, she couldn’t think of a time when she’d seen him be anything but at least partially hard. Even with her relatively-limited sexual experience, Buffy knew most guys couldn’t be that way. Maybe Spike had some sort of medical condition…

Yet even with her body’s protests, Buffy couldn’t find it in herself to care. Never before would she have imagined that hours and hours of incredible sex could be so…freeing. She felt better about herself than she had in a long time, more confident, more beautiful. She was realizing now how much she’d turned her dissatisfaction with her marriage inward, blaming herself not only for her and Riley’s tepid sex life, but also for the ever-growing chasm that seemed to stretch between them.

Buffy could see with hindsight that her attempt to seek out a man the night she met Spike had not really been about revenge. It had been a desperate attempt to prove to herself she was in fact desirable and it hadn’t been her own repulsiveness driving Riley into strange beds. Spike had shown her it wasn’t. And then some.

Now, she felt a way she hadn’t in a very long time.

Sensual.

Buffy ran her hands down her body, reveling in the feeling of her own bare skin beneath her fingers. She cupped her breasts, the weight of them suddenly seeming ample enough. She closed her eyes for a moment, wondering what Spike saw when he looked at her, how it was he perceived her. Did he see her differently than she saw herself? He’d told her once when they were making love that she glowed. Did she?

It wasn’t until the water grew cold that Buffy finally shut it off. She stepped from the shower and towel dried her hair before wrapping up in her thickest bathrobe, yawning as she did. She knew she’d have no trouble sleeping.

Buffy opened the bathroom door, then gasped, startled when she saw someone sitting on the bed.

Her fright turned to anger as she realized who it was. “What the hell are you doing here, Riley?” she snapped.

“I live here,” Riley replied, enough smugness in his tone to make Buffy really want to hurt him.

“Not anymore you don’t.”

“I pay half the mortgage.”

“You’re still not living here anymore.”

“I’m not playing games, Buffy. I have every right to be here.”

“Yeah, and I’ll see what the cops have to say about that,” Buffy replied, moving towards the phone.

Riley jumped up and grabbed her arm. “Come on, don’t do anything stupid. I’m only here to talk. I won’t stay if you really don’t want me to.”

“I really don’t want you to. I also don’t want to talk. Any communication between us from now on can go through our lawyers.” She struggled in vain to break free of his hold. “Let me go.”

“I came by earlier, but you weren’t here. Where were…” Riley stopped in mid-sentence and tightened his grip on her arm as he tugged her closer. “What’s that on your neck? Is that another hickey?”

“I told you I met someone else. And I swear to God, if you don’t let me go, I will call the police.”

“You need to stop seeing him. I’m willing to forgive you since I messed up, too, but if we’re going to make our marriage work, then you certainly can’t be seeing someone else.”

Riley finally loosened his grip on her arm, and Buffy moved away from him. “Make our marriage work? Are you insane? This marriage is beyond over.”

Riley sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Look, Buffy, I know we have our problems, that we have for a while, and what I did was the worst way to handle things. I know that, and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. But we’re married, Buffy. There’s a legal bond between us.”

Buffy shook her head. “A legal bond that can be severed. And it isn’t enough either way. For a marriage to work, it needs more than paperwork. It needs love.”

“And what, this new guy loves you?”

She didn’t know if she could call it that, or even if she ever would be able to. After all, they hadn’t known each other long enough. But she did know that Spike looked at her in a way Riley never had. “That isn’t the point. And it’s also none of your business.”

Riley looked at her sharply. “It’s not Angel, is it?”

His question took Buffy aback. In all of this, she’d barely even given her ex a passing thought. “What?”

“Please don’t tell me you went crawling back to him, Buffy. I mean after all he put you through…”

“Riley, I haven’t seen Angel in years. It’s someone you don’t know and don’t need to know. My personal life ceased being your business when you started paying other women to have sex with you.”

“I told you I was sorry about that!”

“Well, gee, all forgive then.” Buffy glared. “Get out.”

“Look, I know with the sort of example you had as a kid, divorce seems like an easy option, but…”

Buffy put her hands on her hips and sucked in a deep breath. “Oh, you are so very out of line.”

Riley stood up again and held his hands out in front of him. “Just hear me out. If you want to spend some time apart, I get that. Maybe a bit of a separation would be for the best right now. But divorce is jumping the gun, Buffy. We really need to at least try counseling first.”

“Riley, I really don’t know how to get this through your head, but I don’t want to be married to you. I haven’t been happy, you haven’t been happy, and there’s no marriage counselor in the world who can make me feel any differently. This marriage isn’t working. We aren’t working. Period. I’m not going to waste anymore of my life pretending otherwise.”

“It’s the other guy, isn’t it? He’s got you so worked up you aren’t thinking straight.”

Buffy sighed, weary of this whole conversation. She was tired and sore and just wanted to sleep. “No, Riley. It’s not him. It’s you. I don’t want to be with you.”

Riley nodded, and for a second, Buffy through he got the message. Then, he clasped his hand on her shoulder and said, “You’re upset. That’s understandable. But you’ll change your mind after you start to bore this guy. I hope for your sake I can wait that long.”

At any other time his words may have struck a nerve, but tonight, Buffy was still feeling too good about herself to let Riley tear her down. Things with Spike could fizzle. She was realistic enough to know that. His attraction to her could very well wane. But she wasn’t about to let Riley of all people try to make her feel small. Not after what he’d done to her.

“He might get bored with me.” She paused for a moment and shrugged. “Hell, I might even get bored with him. But that still won’t send me back to you. Because you have never been able to hold my interest. Your idea of sex is rolling on top of me and grunting for five minutes – or if I’m lucky, less. Having sex with you is like being trapped under a big, sweaty pile of blankets, and I’m tired of just soldiering through that. I haven’t even had an orgasm with you in years, and I can’t remember when was the last time you as much as pretended to care. So, really, this is just over. I never want you to touch me again and clearly, you’re wanting something other than me in the bedroom, too, since you’ve had to resort to hookers in order to get off.”

“That wasn’t about sex!” Riley yelled. “That was about finding someone who needed me!”

Buffy wasn’t sure what to make of that response. “Huh? Explain how that works exactly.”

“You always cut me out. You have your own job, your own bank account. You said you’d take my name, but you still use Summers more than you use Finn. You’re clearly not interested in staying home to raise children any time soon. How do you think that makes me feel, Buffy?”

“Apparently like you need to go out and pay for sex because it doesn’t come with a price tag at home.”

“No!”

“That’s what you just said! You said you had to pay for sex because I’m not a stay-at-home wife who depends on you for money. And really, that may be the most twisted thing I’ve ever heard anyone say.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth, Buffy.”

“No, the ones already in there are pretty much doing the trick.”

“Those women made me feel like a man, Buffy. They needed me to support them.”

Buffy held up her hands and took a step back. “Okay, I honestly have nothing to say to that except maybe therapy might be a good idea after all – only less of a couple thing and more of a you thing.”

“Buffy, come on. I’m trying to open up here! Maybe I do need some counseling, but so do you. Things will work so much better if we…”

“There is no ‘we!’” Buffy yelled, cutting him off. “We are over.”

“Look, I can see I’m not going to be able to get through to you tonight. But I want you to take a few days to think things over and decide what’s really important – this fling you’re having now or your marriage.”

“Yeah, like I really need time to ponder that.”

“Buffy…”

“Just go, Riley. It’s late, I’m tired, and we both know this is getting us nowhere.”

“Will you at least give things some thought?”

Buffy’s only response was to point towards the door, and thankfully, Riley finally walked through it. She stood in the bedroom, shaking, until she heard his car drive away. She then went out and made sure the front and back doors were locked before changing the combination on the alarm. She could get the locks changed, too, tomorrow. For now at least, she’d hear him coming.

Satisfied she’d dealt with Riley for the evening, Buffy finished getting ready for bed.

*** *** ***

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“Holy shit, that’s one hell of a hickey.”

Buffy swiveled in her desk chair to face the entrance of her cubical. “Anya! Keep it down,” she hissed.

“Why? Anyone who gets within fifty feet of you is going to see that thing. It practically comes with its own neon sign.”

“Well, you’re not helping.”

“Fine,” Anya said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ll leave you and the monster hickey alone.”

“Wait!” Buffy said, stopping the other woman in her tracks. “I wanted to ask your opinion on something.”

Anya’s eyes lit up then. “Hold on. Let me get a chair.” She disappeared for a moment, only to come rolling back into the cube and stopping right in front of Buffy. “What’s this about?”

“I won’t talk to you if you can’t keep your voice down.”

“What’s this about?” Anya asked again, this time in an exaggerated whisper.

Buffy figured that was probably as good as she was going to get. “Spike. There’s…well, there’s some things about him that may not be normal.”

“Some things? Like…sex things?”

“Yeah. Those.”

Anya was practically bouncing in her seat. “Do tell.”

“I only had sex with two men before Riley, so I don’t really have a lot of experience to base stuff on.”

“Well, I’ve slept with lots of guys, so I’m totally the woman to come to. Hit me.” Anya leaned forward.

The amount of enthusiasm the other woman had for her sex life almost made Buffy decide to keep it to herself, but then she figured she didn’t really have anyone else to talk to about this – and she did want another woman’s opinion. As scary as Anya was being at the moment, she probably would be more help on the subject than Willow. “Okay, well, for one thing, there’s stamina…”

Anya frowned. “Don’t tell me Spike is an in, out, and done sorta guy. I’ll be severely disappointed.”

“No.” Buffy snorted. “From my past experience, I’d think that was normal. But Spike has tons of stamina. He’s hard all the time. Like even right after he…”

“Ejaculates?” Anya supplied, filling in Buffy’s pause.

“Yeah, that. Sometimes even after more than once. Is that normal? I mean, there’s that commercial that says you should consult a doctor if it lasts more than five hours, and he can definitely keep it up for more than five hours.”

Anya sputtered, and for a moment, she was actually speechless before she coughed and managed to say, “No, that isn’t normal. I’ve never known a man who could…” She shook her head. “But hell, I’d say just go with the gift horse/mouth philosophy on this one. If he doesn’t think there’s something medically wrong with him, why worry? Maybe he’s popping pills behind your back. Sometimes guys use those things even when everything’s working a-okay down there, just to give themselves an extra boost.”

Buffy frowned. Anya could be right there. Maybe he used something but wasn’t comfortable enough telling her. “There’s other things, too, though. Like he’s all into biting. Really into biting. I mean, you see the thing on my neck. And yesterday, we were having sex, and he was close, so I asked him what he wanted me to do, and he told me to bite him hard. And then he like totally got all worked up from it and actually broke a set of chains.”

For the second time in a row, Anya spent a moment silent. “He broke chains?”

“Yeah. He said they weren’t welded very well, but they seemed really sturdy when I was in them.”

“He has chains? I mean, when we were talking the other day about your bondage fun, I just figured you meant handcuffs.”

“Shh! Keep your voice down. And yes, he has chains.”

“And he’s all into biting? On the neck biting?”

“Way into.”

“Well, it’s clear what’s going on, Buffy. Spike’s a vampire.”

“He wears a lot of black, but he didn’t really strike me as someone who’s into the whole Goth scene,” Buffy said with a frown.

“No, I don’t mean someone who reads Anne Rice novels a bit too much. I mean a real bloodsucking, undead vampire.”

For a moment, all Buffy could do was blink before she finally said with a nervous laugh, “Anya, that’s completely insane.”

“Is it? Let’s list the signs here: superhuman stamina, likes neck biting that leaves gigantic hickeys, can break though chains, has chains. I’ve read enough trashy romance novels to be able to tell when someone’s a vampire, Buffy.”

“Vampires aren’t real, Anya.”

“Does he have any mirrors in his house?”

Buffy opened her mouth but didn’t have an answer.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Just because I haven’t seen any mirrors doesn’t mean there aren’t some somewhere,” Buffy argued.

“Uh huh. And I bet he’s got big, dark curtains, too.”

“So he doesn’t have any mirrors and he has blackout curtains. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means he’s a vampire,” Anya retorted, her tone matter-of-fact.

“Okay, now I’m thinking you’ve read too many Anne Rice novels. Spike is definitely not a vampire. For one thing, he sleeps in a bed, not a coffin. And I’ve seen his teeth. They’re normal. Not fangy.”

“Maybe he’s got a second set.”

“That he what, keeps in a drawer until it’s dinner time?”

“Or that come down over his others. I don’t know. I’m not an expert on vampire physiology. But I do know they can sleep in beds.”

“Did you learn that from romance novels, too?”

“Yes,” Anya replied, as if the question had been meant to be taken seriously. “The vampire guy always has some huge, way comfortable bed. Perfect for marathon sex romps.” Anya nodded knowingly.

“You do realize you’re insane.”

“Whatever. You are so on your way to becoming like a Bride of Dracula or something.”

“Don’t you have work to do?”

“Hey, you wanted my advice.”

“It hasn’t been particularly helpful.”

Anya stood up and put her hand on the back of her chair. “You can think whatever you want, but if you’re going to keep seeing this guy, you should probably start taking iron supplements or maybe drinking a lot of orange juice.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” Buffy said, not bothering to hide her sarcasm. Anya’s only response was to shrug and leave with her chair.

Buffy rested her elbows on her desk and put her head in her hands. Vampire… Anya was crazy. How she got these ideas in her head at all, Buffy would never know.

Only it would explain a lot about Spike. If it were even possible for someone to be a vampire, that was. It didn’t matter how many things seemed to suggest Spike was a vampire, as Anya had now pointed out for her. The fact that vampires weren’t real trumped all of that.

But then again, what if they were real? What if vampires did exist, and Spike was one of them? What did that mean for whatever it was between them? Was he just using her for an easy meal? Was that what he had been looking for that first night? Was he going to kill her? Was he going to make her a vampire?

Buffy lifted her head, her eyes widening as her hand went to the mark on her neck. What if he already had? He’d been at her neck a lot, and after every time they had sex, she had one of those weird hickeys. And she’d bitten him, too – more than once. Did that mean she was going to slowly turn into a vampire, like those women in old horror movies who always seemed to be lying around in bed, wasting away?

As quickly as the panic rose, Buffy pushed it away. Spike couldn’t be a vampire and she couldn’t be turning into a vampire because, quite simply, vampires didn’t exist. Sure, Spike maybe have been a little…other than normal, but going from that to the conclusion that he was some sort of undead, bloodsucking fiend was absurd. This was nothing more than Anya being insane as usual, and Buffy knew she’d be just as crazy if she let herself get swept up like that.

She turned back t her computer and put her hands on her keyboard. “Spike is not a vampire because vampires aren’t real,” she muttered to herself, forcing the notion from her mind. He was a human guy who she had amazing chemistry with and who she was going to meet for dinner that night for something on the menu other than blood.

So not a vampire.

Buffy took a deep breath and let it out before turning her attention back to her work.

*** *** ***

Buffy knew she was early, but that didn’t stop her from worrying when she got to the restaurant and Spike wasn’t there. She kept worrying he was going to change his mind about wanting more from her, the memory of how he’d tossed her out the first night still in her mind.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up a moment before she felt Spike’s arms around her waist. She sank into them without pause, a small, relieved smile on her lips. “You’re here.”

He pulled her closer, so her back was flush against his front. “Of course, luv. You didn’t think I’d stand you up.” He felt her stiffen slightly in his arms. “You did.”

“I was only a little worried you might,” Buffy said.

Spike turned her around in his arms so he could look into her eyes. “Don’t you know by now I’m crazy about you?”

“You could change your mind.”

“Why would I do that?” Spike asked, his head cocked to the side.

“I don’t know. You threw me out the first night and didn’t seem much like you wanted me around then. You could do that again.”

“No. I’m not going to. That first night, it wasn’t about not wanting you. I…I wanted you too much. You weren’t supposed to mean a damn thing. You…” He paused and shook his head. “I’ve lured a lot of women home with me, Buffy, and not a one of them did what you did to me. It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve felt anything at all for a woman.”

Buffy looked up at him, not sure of what to say. While the overall meaning of what he said made her heart flutter, her brain kept hanging on to one word – “lured.” Luring someone implied tricking them into something bad, but what she’d experienced with Spike that night certainly hadn’t been bad. Suddenly, her mind was back on her earlier conversation with Anya. Vampires “lured,” didn’t they?

“Kitten? Are you going to say anything? You’re just staring at me, and I have to admit, you’re making me a little nervous.”

“You aren’t a vampire, are you?”

“What?” Spike asked, sputtering.

Buffy winced at her own question. “Sorry. I have this co-worker who’s a little, well, off, and we were talking today.”

“About me?”

“Yeah…”

“And she thinks I’m a vampire.”

“Yeah.” Buffy blushed and looked down at her feet. “Like I said, she’s a little off. And I’m sorry I even brought it up, because it’s completely ridiculous, and now I’m all embarrassed.”

“Do you think I’d hurt you?”

“Huh?” Buffy asked, sharply looking up again.

“Do you think I’d hurt you? You just asked…I thought maybe I scare you or something.”

“Oh no, not at all,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “I wasn’t worried you were seducing me in order to drink my blood. Cause if that were the case, you probably would’ve killed me the first night.”

An awkward silence passed between them before Spike cleared his throat. “Right. Which I clearly didn’t since you’re standing here now.”

“Right.” Another awkward pause passed, ending when Buffy sighed. “I’m really sorry I even said anything. It was a really, really stupid question. You’re not mad at me, are you?”

Spike put his hand against her cheek. “No. I’m not cross with you at all, luv. As long as you aren’t worried I’m planning to hurt you.”

Buffy shook her head. “No, I’m not. Not at all.”

“Good.” Spike kissed her forehead. “Are you ready to go inside?”

“Yeah.”

Spike moved back, taking her hand instead. “You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, sweetheart. That green is a good color for you.”

Buffy smiled. “Thanks. You look… Well, you always look really, really good.”

He smiled back. “I’m glad you approve.” Spike leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Come on. Let’s go in before they give our table away.”

Pushing any further notions of something as silly as vampires out of her mind, Buffy walked into the restaurant, her hand still in Spike’s.

*** *** ***

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Their table was a cozy little booth in a darkened corner of the restaurant, allowing Buffy to get comfortable cuddled against Spike as they waited for their meal. She felt better just being in his arms, his touch pushing away any crazy notions of Spike secretly being a vampire. Honestly, she didn’t know how Anya came up with this stuff. What would she get into her head next – Willow was actually dating a werewolf?

Still, she couldn’t help but worry Spike was mad at her, despite his claims to the contrary. Or that he thought she was an insane person. Hell, she was thinking maybe she was an insane person.

“You’re tense, luv.”

Buffy craned her neck to look up at Spike without moving from his embrace. “I’m fine.”

One of Spike’s hands came to rest on her thigh. “Well, you feel tense. This muscle here is all knotted.” He slipped his hand beneath the hem of her dress and began to massage her leg.

Buffy gasped softly. He couldn’t possibly be thinking about doing anything in a restaurant. Sure, their table was off by itself, but there were still people around who could see them. He wouldn’t actually take things any further than this…

Or maybe he would… His hand crept over her inner thigh and past the edge of her panties, dipping into her folds. “Spike!” Buffy hissed. “We’re in public.”

“Yeah, but in order for anyone to see what I’m doing, they’d have to look under the tablecloth, and that would just be nosy,” he replied, his tone surprisingly conversational considering the fact he spoke while sliding one finger in and out of her pussy.

“Spike…we’re not supposed to be doing this here,” Buffy countered, even as she shivered in pleasure.

“Worse case scenario, they toss us out and we don’t come back to this place again.” Spike leaned in to whisper against her ear. “Come on, luv. Let me make you feel good.”

The rational part of Buffy’s brain wanted to tell him he needed to stop. This just…wasn’t how you behaved in a restaurant. But he could do more to her with one finger than her husband had ever been able to do at all.

“Spread your legs a bit, kitten. Give me room to play,” Spike said in a deep whisper.

Trembling with pleasure and nervousness, Buffy complied with his request, her legs parting slightly. Spike’s finger slid in deeper, soon joined by another. She fought against a moan, forced herself to keep her expression as normal as possible so as not to reveal what was going on under the table.

“You’re so wet, kitten,” Spike whispered against her. “Dripping. This is really getting you hot, isn’t it? I think you like me doing this with all these other people around. I think it’s turning you on to know someone could figure out what you’re letting me do, you bad girl.”

Buffy’s only response was a choked whimper, but the new rush of moisture Spike felt coat his fingers told him all he needed to know.

“I wish you were on the table in front of me. I’d spread you open real wide, stick my tongue all the way inside that nice, juicy quim. Mmm…what a feast that would be, baby.”

Buffy bit her lip to keep in the moan that formed from that particular mental image. Memories of what Spike could do with that tongue of his tempted her to just say to hell with the fact this was a public place and let him do exactly what he had just described.

Instead, she swallowed hard as she saw the waitress arriving with their food. She felt Spike’s fingers slide out of her and told herself she was relieved he wasn’t going to continue with someone else right there.

Until she realized stopping wasn’t his plan. As the waitress came closer, Spike brought his fingers to her clit and began to rub vigorously. Buffy tried to fight the sensations, but Spike was playing her body too expertly. Helpless to stop it, all Buffy could do was bite her tongue when she came as the waitress set their plates in front of them.

For his part, Spike seemed oblivious to what his own fingers were doing. He smiled and thanked the waitress while Buffy came down from her orgasm.

“I can’t believe you did that in front of her,” Buffy hissed as Spike slipped his hand away from her. “Couldn’t you have waited until she was gone?”

“Hey, you’re the one who did the creaming, sweetheart.” Spike brought his hand up to his mouth and sucked on the fingers that had been inside her, his eyes closing for a moment as if he were savoring the flavor. “And what sweet cream it is, too,” he said as his eyes opened and he winked at her,

Buffy blushed and lowered her eyes away from his. “You’re a very, very bad man.”

“The baddest, baby,” Spike replied, curling his tongue against his teeth in a way that made her wet and wanting all over again.

Buffy decided she better hurry up and finish her dinner before they really did get thrown out of the restaurant.

*** *** ***

She barely even remembered coming into the room, and yet Buffy was on the floor of Spike’s home, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he pounded into her. The bed was only a few feet away, and yet that had seemed too far as they’d tumbled to the ground, quickly shifting just enough clothes to allow their joining.

Suddenly, Spike rose up on his knees, bringing Buffy up with him, making her cry out as he pushed her down further on his cock. She twined her arm around his neck, holding on, and Spike reached under her rumpled dress to grab her bottom, using it as leverage to bounce her faster, harder.

“I wanted to fuck you in the restaurant,” Spike growled, his fingers digging into the flesh of her bottom. “I wanted to throw you down right there, show every man who had his eyes on you you’re mine. I bet you would’ve let me, too, as hot as you were. I could smell your arousal, smell how hot you were getting thinking about my cock. You want this all the time, don’t you baby? You can’t get enough of being filled up with me.”

Buffy moaned in response, sliding her hands up to take hold of Spike’s shoulders, steadying herself as his thrusts got harder. One of his hands moved quickly, unfastening the top of her halter dress and letting her breasts fall free. His hand then went back to her ass, keeping her movements at the pace he wanted, leaving Buffy helpless to do anything but hold on for the ride.

Then he leaned in, caught the side of her bare breast in his mouth and bit down. Buffy shrieked, spasming wildly as Spike came with a growl, muffled in her skin.

Finally, he let go of her breast, lapping at the mark he’d made until Buffy slumped forward, boneless. Spike helped her rise with him so they could both make it the rest of the way to the bed and crawl beneath the sheets. He gathered Buffy against his chest, stroking her hair in time with her labored breathing.

“Have I told you how much I love this hair?” he asked her after several minutes. “It’s the softest thing I’ve ever touched. Buffy’s answer was a low hum in her throat, and Spike chuckled. “Did I fry your brain again, luv?”

“Just a bit,” Buffy replied, sounding a little dazed.

“Good.” Spike moved away and Buffy reached for him, frowning.

“Where…”

“Just getting my clothes off,” Spike explained before she could finish her question.

Buffy smiled and let him go. “Okay. Naked’s good. Especially for you. You wearing clothes should be illegal or something.”

“I would say the same thing about you, pet, only then I’d waste time I could spend shagging you beating up all the blokes who would be looking at you,” he said with a wink.

Buffy giggled as she sat up and pulled her wadded dress over her head. “What happened to my panties?” she asked, realizing for the first time they were completely gone.

“Oh, I ripped those off and threw them…” Spike glanced around the room with a slight frown. “Somewhere.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Buffy said with a laugh. “Don’t need ‘em.” She held her arms out to a now-naked Spike. “Come back.”

Spike didn’t hesitate in rejoining her on the bed and pulling her back into his arms. He turned to look at her face and swallowed when he met her eyes. The way she was looking at him…

“What is it about you, sweetheart?” he asked softly as he caressed her cheek. “It’s been so long since a woman has been meant a bloody thing to me. I didn’t think anyone would, not after…”

“Not after what?” Buffy asked with a frown.

“Her,” Spike replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

Buffy felt an immediate rush of jealousy and wished she didn’t. It would be silly to think every woman in Spike’s life had been a fling before her. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been men in her life before him.

“She’s dead,” Spike said, feeling Buffy grow tense in his arms. “She died a long, long time ago. I vowed then that I’d never love another woman.” He gave a half-laugh. “Seemed like a romantic sort of thing to do.”

“But now?” Buffy asked, cursing the tremble in her voice.

“You came out of nowhere, luv. I saw you that first night. I stood on the edge of the floor and watched you dance, and you bloody bewitched me.” He swallowed hard. “I didn’t realize how lonely I’d been until you showed up and I wasn’t anymore.”

“And your vow to never fall in love again?”

“Oh, I’m falling, baby. There’s no avoiding it now.”

“Do you want to? Avoid it, I mean.”

“No.”

Buffy ran her finger down his chest. “I think I’m falling for you, too. For a moment, I thought maybe I was doing the rebound thing, but then I realized if anybody was a rebound guy, it was Riley. And now, well, I certainly don’t need any time to get over him. I don’t think I even loved him. Not really. Not passionately.”

“But you did love someone. Someone else before him.”

Buffy nodded. If Spike was going to let her in on a bit of his romantic past, she guessed had to do the same. “Yeah. A guy I met in high school. I…well, I thought he was someone he turned out not to be.” She thought back to what had served as the death knell for her marriage. “I guess I make that mistake a lot.”

“Is that why you worry about things like me standing you up?”

“I guess, yeah. That and I met you in a club when we were both looking for a one-night stand.”

“That may have been what I was looking for then, but I found something better,” Spike said with a smile that made Buffy’s heart flutter.

“Yeah. Me, too.”

Spike cupped her face and kissed her, and as Buffy wrapped her arms around him, she hoped this time she’d gotten it right, that Spike was who he appeared to be. It seemed with every man she’d ever been involved with, they’d turned out to be completely unlike who she’d thought they were. They’d started out seeming like Prince Charming only to reveal themselves to be anything but.

Maybe since Spike had taken more of the opposite approach, this time would work out better.

Spike broke the kiss and pushed Buffy’s hair away from her face. “Are you tired, kitten?” he asked. Buffy yawned before she could answer, and Spike chuckled. “I guess that’s a yes then.”

“Sorry. It’s been kind of a long week.”

“That’s all right,” Spike said as he settled back down with Buffy in his arms. “You might as well get a little kip now, rest up so I can shag you all weekend.”

“Is ‘kip’ British for sleep?”

Spike gave her an amused little smile. “Yeah.”

“Then kip sounds good.” She yawned again as her eyes began to close. “So I’ll be all rested up for more shagging. ‘Cause I fully expect you to make me bowlegged before the weekend is over.”

Spike’s laugh rumbled through Buffy’s body. “I’ll be more than obliged to fulfill that request.”

“Good.” Buffy cuddled closer to him, her face nestled against his bare chest.

Spike didn’t follow her into sleep. Instead, he simply held her, fully awake as he listened to the sound of her breathing.

*** *** ***

Buffy knew the moment she woke that she was alone. She sat up, looking around for Spike, though she wasn’t able to see much of anything in the dark. “Spike?” No answer, and she began to worry. What if their conversation before she’d gone to sleep had spooked him? What if he only thought he was feeling something for her until he put voice to those feelings, and that made him realize he didn’t really want her at all?

She shook her head, telling herself that couldn’t be the case. If he was going to ditch her, he wouldn’t do it by leaving her in his bed. He was probably just in the bathroom or something. Still, she waited for him, her knees tucked under her chin.

She didn’t know how long she had been waiting when she heard the elevator. She turned sharply when the door opened and someone stepped into the room. In the almost-complete darkness she could barely make out the figure, and her heart beat faster as she hoped it was indeed her lover. “Spike?”

His answering growl was low, and for a second, Buffy could almost swear she saw his eyes flash in the dark. Then, he moved so fast she didn’t realize he was on her until he was ripping the sheet away from her body and flipping her over on her stomach.

Within moments, he’d stripped off his clothes and pulled her backwards onto his cock. Buffy cried out, scrambling to grab on to the sheet for purchase. Instead, Spike brought her up, stretching her legs apart to hold her in place as he pressed her back against his chest.

She hissed in pain as his teeth sank into her shoulder, though the growl he made against her skin told her to stay put. She’d thought Spike had been unrestrained with her before, but it hadn’t been like this. This was a whole new level – one that almost frightened her. He seemed so out of it, like he wasn’t even completely sure who he was.

One hand came up roughly to tug on her nipple while his other hand gripped her hip bruisingly tight. His teeth were still in her skin, hurting her more than it usually did when he bit her. Even when sex with Spike had been on the rougher side, it had never really been violent, not like it was now. He was hurting her.

And Buffy realized as her pussy fluttered around him that she liked it.

Maybe that made her sick or something, but as a particularly hard pull on her nipple sent her spiraling into an orgasm, she didn’t really care.

Spike released his hold on her shoulder, used both hands to slam her down onto his cock and came with a grunt.

Finished, he pulled her down with him onto the bed, wrapped her in his arms, and fell asleep. It didn’t take Buffy long to follow him over.

*** *** ***

I’ve had a few people complain that this fic hasn’t had anything from Spike’s POV. I know it hasn’t, and it’s a decision I’ve made on purpose. Eventually, I’ll have some of Spike’s POV, but I’ve chosen, as the author, to have it all from Buffy’s POV from the time being. I’ve wanted to keep some mystery around Spike that would be impossible if I went into his mind. So be patient, and I’ll get to it when it’s the right point in the plot to reveal what Spike’s thinking. I do actually have this planned out and it’s going the pace I want it to go. Thank you.

Despite the fact the heavy curtains kept the room relatively dark, Buffy knew when she woke, it was morning this time. Again, Spike wasn’t beside her, only this time he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head down. “Spike?” Buffy asked, sounding groggy.

“If you want to leave me now, I won’t blame you.”

Buffy frowned as she sat up, gathering the sheet against her bare breasts. “Leave you? Why would I do that?”

“After the way I treated you last night. I…I’m sorry.”

He looked miserable, and Buffy knew she couldn’t let him stay that way for long. She crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing kisses against his back before she said, “Yeah, last night, well, took me a little by surprise, but it’s all right. You hurt me some, but uh…” Buffy cleared her throat, then said in a rush, “But apparently I like that.”

Spike turned his head to look at her. “You liked me hurting you?”

Buffy blushed and avoided his gaze. “Uh huh. God, does that make me totally twisted?”

“No. That’s good. If you got off on it, then I don’t have to beat myself up about it.”

Buffy rubbed his back. “You don’t have to beat yourself up. It’s okay.” She kissed the side of his neck. “Though I am kind of curious as to where you went last night.”

“Just out for a walk. I needed some fresh air.” His muscles tensed almost imperceptibly beneath Buffy’s touch.

“And fresh air makes you want to completely ravage me?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Spike moved away from her. “Let’s just sleep a bit more, yeah? I’m still tired.”

Buffy frowned but decided not to push things. Maybe if he got some rest, Spike would go back to normal. “Okay, I’m still a bit tired, too.” She got back under the sheets, only to feel her heart tighten when Spike laid down but didn’t pull her to him like he normally did, turning his back to her instead.

She tried to sleep, hoping she would be able to just wake up and have things back to the way they were before.

Instead, she lay awake, her body tense, until she heard Spike get up and watched him put on his jeans. “Are you going somewhere?” she asked.

“Just into the other room,” he replied tersely before walking out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Buffy sat up in bed, a sudden urge to cry hitting her. What was wrong with him? Had her telling him she’d been turned on by rough sex turned him off? And if that were the case, why had he been rough with her in the first place?

Deciding this was ridiculous and determined to figure out what Spike’s deal was, Buffy got off the bed. She eyed her wadded up dress for a moment before snatching up the red button-down shirt Spike had worn the night before and put that on instead.

She stormed out of the bedroom, finding the next room was a den. Spike sat on a long leather sofa, his hands folded between his knees as he stared into space. Buffy marched up to him, her hands on her hips. “What the hell is wrong with you, huh? Are you playing some sort of sick game with me? I tell you last night that every guy I’ve ever been with suddenly turned into an asshole, so you decide to follow suit? Is that it?”

He turned towards her sharply. “Buffy, I’m not trying to…”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to or not, because you are.”

Spike jumped up, his jaw twitching. “I’m trying not to hurt you, you daft bint!”

Buffy took a step back, a lump in her throat. Her first response was to cry, but she wasn’t about to give into that impulse. Instead, she yelled back, “Yeah, and being a total jackass is a really good way not to hurt me.”

“I lost control on your last night!” Spike yelled back. “Doesn’t that scare you even a little bit?”

Buffy held up her chin. “No.”

“Well, it scares the hell outta me.” Spike let out a humorless laugh as he ran a hand through his bleached hair. “Bloody hell, woman, seems like all you do is make me lose control. That first night, the reason I tossed you out, it wasn’t just because of why I said. I almost lost control then, too. I keep coming to the edge over and over again with you.”

“I told you I was fine with last night.”

Spike gave another bitter laugh. “Last night was nothing, baby. I could do things to that body…” He ran his eyes down her form and licked his lips, a predatory gleam in his eyes. “I could hurt you in ways you’ve never even dreamed of.”

“I’m not afraid,” Buffy said, though there was a tremor in her voice.

Spike moved quickly, knocking her against the wall and holding her there with his body. “You should be,” he told her, their eyes locking.

Buffy shook a little harder as her mind traveled back to the night before, when Spike had spoken of a prior girlfriend who had died. Had he killed her? He couldn’t have… “Spike…” His name was barely more than a whisper, with the taste of a plea.

She watched his eyes soften before he let go of her arms, moving back just enough to smooth his hands gently over her instead, raining kisses interspersed with her name and apologies over her face. She wrapped her arms around him in response, any fear she’d felt disappearing. Instead, she held him to her, told him it was all right. Buffy didn’t want to believe it was anything but all right…

Spike picked her up and carried her over to the couch, where he gently laid her out. He unbuttoned the shirt she’d put on carefully, his fingers shaking as he undid each button before pushing the material from her shoulders and letting it fall to the ground.

He ghosted his hands over her skin, worshipped her with feather-soft kisses. He was holding himself back, proving to himself he could do this without losing control.

Buffy’s hands strayed to his hair, his fingers threading through the unruly platinum curls. “It’s okay, baby,” she told him, wanting to hold on to how he seemed to not want to hurt her more than his insistence that he could. Even if it might be the right thing to do, how could she give this up now? In less than a week, she’d already grown addicted to him, already craved his touch like she’d craved nothing else in her life.

She needed what only he could make her feel…

“Can’t hurt you,” Spike muttered, his lips against the corner of her mouth.

“You won’t,” Buffy told him, her hands moving down to caress the right muscles of his back. “You won’t hurt me.”

“I just want to love you,” Spike whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. “So gorgeous, so perfect. Golden goddess…”

“Not a goddess. Just a girl,” Buffy replied, her hands still smoothing over the skin of his back.

“My goddess,” Spike insisted, moving to place an almost chaste kiss against her neck. “Wanna worship you.”

“You don’t…oh!” Buffy exclaimed as he suddenly moved between her legs, hefting her legs over his shoulders and favoring her pussy with a long lick. If this was what he meant by worshipping, then she was all for deification. “Spike…yes…just like that.”

Spike continued to work her with his mouth, alternating between filling her with his tongue and lapping at her clit. Buffy gasped and moaned, her fingers grabbing at the leather beneath her.

It was good, but it wasn’t enough. Not now, not when she needed all of him. She tugged on his hair until he looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers. “Spike, I…I need…oh…I need you inside.”

He surged up her body without hesitation, freeing himself from his jeans as her feet came up to push the denim the rest of the way down his legs until he kicked it off.

Unhindered now, Spike pushed inside of her, only to stop abruptly when Buffy cried out, both of them realizing at the same time that she was still tender from his rough treatment of her the night before.

Spike sighed, hanging his head as he tried to pull out. Buffy, however, had other plans. She locked her ankles at the small of his back and said in a growl to rival his, “Don’t you dare.”

He looked at her in surprise. “Luv, you’re too sore…”

“I’ll tell you when I’m too sore. Right now, I want you too much to care.”

“You say that now, but…”

“I swear to god, Spike, if you don’t start moving right now, I’m going to be the one to hurt you.”

Spike looked surprised for a moment before he grinned. “You know, you’re hot when you’re bossy.”

“Uh huh. Move.”

He started moving without any further protest, though he was careful to make sure any sounds he elicited from her were ones of pleasure.

“That’s good,” Buffy assured him, her words trailing into a moan. “Feels so good, Spike.”

“I’m not hurting you?”

“No.” Buffy shook her head before smiling at him. “I love this with you.”

“I always want to make it good for you,” Spike murmured as he leaned in to kiss her temple.

Buffy reached up, held him in place. “You do. Every time.”

He sighed softly against her, trembling though he kept the rhythm of his hips steady. Buffy rationalized his earlier behavior, unwilling to believe the man moving so carefully could ever be dangerous. Something must’ve happened in the past, something to make him worry, but that didn’t make him capable of hurting her now. Maybe he’d just had women who didn’t like his tendency to get a bit rough where sex was concerned.

But Buffy did. Sex with Spike was raw, all wanting and passion. She’d never had that before, never experienced anything that made her feel alive the way she did when Spike was inside her. She knew it was fast becoming an addiction – perhaps even a dangerous one – but she wasn’t willing to give it up.

And now, she needed more. She didn’t want Spike to be afraid to give her the things she’d come to crave. She scraped her fingernails down his back, leaving a trail of scratch marks down to his ass, where she grabbed him, forcing him in deeper, harder.

Spike grunted. “Buffy…”

“It’s good like this,” Buffy told him. “I need all of you…don’t hold back.”

He shook his head against her. “I have to hold back.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’ll be okay,” Buffy insisted. “I don’t think you’ll hurt me.”

Spike met her eyes, something dark passing through his. “And I know I can.” He pulled out of her, wincing as he did. “I can’t do this.”

Buffy sat up, a chill rushing over her. “Do what? Us?” she asked in a small voice.

“Yes. Maybe. God, I don’t even sodding know anymore.” He turned and grabbed Buffy by the shoulders. “What are you? What have you done to me?”

“What? I haven’t done anything!”

Spike stood up, shook his head as he laughed almost hysterically. “Oh, you’ve done something. I wouldn’t be bloody feeling this way if you hadn’t! Not like this. What are you? Some sort of witch? A gypsy?”

“What? Spike, have you completely lost your mind? You think I’ve put some sort of spell on you? That’s insane!”

“No. It’s the only thing that makes any bloody sense! Why I’d ever think I can do this, go on dates and pretend I’m only a man.” He hit his palm against his chest. “Why it feels like this beats when it doesn’t. When it can’t.”

“Spike, I don’t understand a word you’re saying. Please, tell me what’s going on. Why are you saying things like this? Why do you keep thinking you’re going to hurt me? Talk to me, please.”

He looked out her for a moment, his head cocked to the side as if he were thinking, trying to make a decision. Finally, his shoulders slumped. “You already hit the nail on the head last night, luv.”

Buffy blinked, confused. “Huh?”

With a sigh, Spike reached for his discarded jeans and pulled them back on. For several moments, he was silent, then he said quietly, “What you asked last night. The answer is yes.”

“What did I ask last night?” She brought her knees to her chin, feeling too exposed. She didn’t like this, didn’t want it to be happening. Things had been going so well, and now he was freaking out on her?

It didn’t make any sense. And it broke her heart…

“You asked if I was a vampire.”

For a moment, all Buffy could do was stare, her brain not able to comprehend what he was saying. “I asked if you’re a vampire, and the answer is…yes?”

“Yes. I’m a vampire. I’ve been feeding off you when we have sex, and it’s getting harder and harder to control myself. So yeah, Buffy, I’m dangerous.”

“You’re making this up,” Buffy said with a nervous laugh. “Vampires aren’t real.”

“I’ve been one since 1880, Buffy. Trust me, they’re real.”

“Spike, just tell me what’s really going on, please. If you want to end things, you can just say so.”

“I am telling you what’s really going on! This isn’t about wanting to end things. I don’t want to end anything. You make me feel…” He trailed off, shook his head. “I’m a vampire.”

“I don’t believe you.”

For a moment, Spike only stared at her. Then Buffy watched as his face changed right in front of her. His brow became heavier, ridged; his eyes changed from blue to a demonic amber. “Believe me now?” he asked coolly, razor-sharp teeth glinting inside his mouth.

Buffy felt frozen, unable to do anything but stare. This couldn’t be real. It had to be some sort of weird, overly-vivid dream.

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything? Or possibly run for your life.”

“I…Spike?”

He moved with inhuman speed, snatching her off the couch and shaking her like a ragdoll. “You should run, little girl. I could snap your neck in a second. Drink your blood until there’s nothing left.” He dropped her, let her fall to the ground.

Buffy looked up; Spike turned away. He couldn’t take what he saw in her eyes…

She ran back into the bedroom, dressing quickly before she rushed from the building.

Spike slumped to the floor, his features fading back to human once again.

*** *** ***

Please take a moment to review.

Buffy sat on her couch, feeling numb. What had just happened with Spike didn’t seem like it could even be real; it couldn’t be more than a nightmare.

She still couldn’t seem to wrap her head around the idea of vampires being real, never mind anything else. It had seemed beyond farfetched when Anya had brought the subject up, but now…

She certainly couldn’t pretend she hadn’t seen Spike’s face change.

So if vampires were real and she’d spent the past week in bed with one, what did that mean for her? Was she infected or something now? If she was, was there some sort of treatment? Should she be taking garlic pills?

To make matters even more confusing, she still wanted Spike. He’d revealed himself to be a literal monster and tossed her from his home a second time, and yet her body was throbbing with need for his touch and his touch alone. What did it mean that she as desperate for someone who wasn’t even human? Was she sick?

Or maybe it wasn’t her at all, Buffy realized, her eyes widening as a new thought entered her mind. Didn’t vampires have like a thrall? Dracula was always putting women into a trance in the movies. Had Spike done that to her? It would explain a lot of things – like why she was suddenly hornier than she had ever been in her life. Spike could have used his vampiric powers to turn her into some sort of desperate sex kitten.

Which, Buffy had to admit sounded a bit farfetched, but a week ago she would’ve said the same thing regarding the idea of sleeping with a vampire at all.

Truth be told, she had no idea what was going on or how to handle it – and being in the dark like this wasn’t something Buffy enjoyed.

So she decided to be proactive, stop moping and find answers instead.

She glanced down at her dress and amended that.

She’d find answers as soon as she cleaned herself up.

*** *** ***

Buffy sat on her living room floor, surveying the piles in front of her. It may have garnered her a few strange looks from the librarians, but she’d checked out every book on vampires she could get her hands on, desperate to find something helpful.

So far, she’d come up empty.

Her subsequent trip to Blockbuster hadn’t proven anymore fruitful. Every movie she’d put in seemed to have its own take on what vampires were. And everything seemed to contradict in at least some way with what she knew about Spike.

A stake to the heart killed them, secured them to their graves, or did nothing at all. Crosses burned, repelled, or made them mock you. Sunlight was instant death, unpleasant, or part of a myth. They had reflections and showed up in photographs – or they didn’t.

They could only drink blood. Or other food was okay, too, just not enough.

They were evil. They were misunderstood.

The list went on and on, with everything debated from sleeping arrangements to physiology.

The only thing anyone could seem to agree on was that they drank blood.

Unless it was a psychic vampire. Then apparently they fed off human energy.

Buffy growled in frustration and knocked a pile of books over. With all the dating manuals out there, couldn’t someone have written a guide for what to do when you find out the hot guy you pick up at a club is really a hot dead guy with a blood habit? He’s Just into your Jugular, perhaps?

She turned sharply towards the door when she heard someone knock. Tentatively, she got up and went to it, her breath catching when she looked out the peephole and saw it was Spike.

“Buffy, I just want to talk,” Spike said from outside. “I promise I won’t lay a finger on you.”

Buffy chewed her bottom lip as she debated whether or not to open the door. She knew promises aside, he could still hurt her. Only if he wanted to, wouldn’t he have killed her that morning?

Unless he’d decided since then that now she knew his secret, she must die.

“Look, even if you open the door, I can’t get to you. I’m forbidden from entering a home without an invitation.”

Buffy frowned. She’d read that somewhere, hadn’t she? Although he still could be lying…

She decided to take the change. If nothing else, she’d risk it in order to get answers to her questions.

However, to be on the safe side, she grabbed something else she’d picked up earlier.

Spike’s eyes widened when Buffy opened the door and he saw what she was holding. “Is that a wooden stake?”

“Yeah. Do they work?”

Spike swallowed. “Yes.”

Buffy held his gaze. “Good to know.”

“It’s not really necessary right now,” Spike said. He held up his hand, demonstrating the invisible border that stood between him and her house. “See?”

Buffy lowered the stake, though she didn’t let it go. “How did you find me anyway? Some sort of vampire hunting powers?”

“You’re listed in the phonebook.”

“Oh. Right.”

Spike took a deep breath, and Buffy wondered why. Did he actually breathe like humans did? Her research had been inconclusive on that matter as well.

“Look, I came here because I couldn’t leave things like they were this morning. I’m sorry for that. I just… I don’t know what to do about this whole thing. I wasn’t looking for a relationship – I certainly wasn’t looking for one with a human – but then here you are, throwing a spanner in the works and making things all sorts of wonky.”

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, the stake still gripped in her hand. “Gee, just what every girl longs to hear. That she’s a spanner in some guy’s works.”

Spike gave her an exasperated expression. “That wasn’t my point.”

“Then get pointy.”

“I wasn’t looking for anything, but I found it. I’ve been on this earth for over a century, Buffy. Been dead for most of it, and I’ve felt it, too. Losing Drusilla, ending up on my own – hasn’t really made immortality much of a party. But then I met you, and it’s like getting to see the sun again. You make me feel things, want things, that I’d given up on. It bloody terrifies me.”

“You’re terrified. I just found out I’ve been sleeping with a vampire.”

“Yeah, well…” Spike stopped and took another one of those deep breaths, trying to collect his thoughts. “Look, this is crazy, yeah? Even if I wasn’t a vampire, this whole thing would be insane. I’ve known you for a week, Buffy. A week. And already I’m so sodding crazy about you I don’t even know what end is up anymore. You’re all I bloody think about. And I know I should just get out of your life. Hell, you’re probably two seconds away from slamming the door in my face. But I can’t just walk away from this. You’ve crawled under my skin, gotten into my blood. I’m lost, Buffy. I’m lost.”

Buffy stared at him, her throat growing tight. That was probably the most romantic thing any man had ever said to her, especially if she factored in the sincerity she’d seen in his eyes and heard in his voice. But did it even matter? The fact still remained that he was a vampire and she was, well, not.

“I can’t, Spike. I’m sorry. I…I can’t handle this.”

Spike reached for her, though his hand dropped abruptly as he remembered the barrier. “Buffy, please. We’ll work something out, figure a way to deal with this, Just give it a chance. Please.”

She shook her head, not willing to cry.

“No.”

For a moment, Spike stood watching her, looking helpless, an invisible yet tangible reminder that they were from two different worlds between them. Buffy couldn’t take looking at him, couldn’t stand watching her own heartbreak mirrored on his face. She shut the door, holding off her tears just long enough to get it between them.

She leaned against the door, unable to stop herself from crying any longer. Spike was right – this whole thing was completely insane. But knowing that, knowing everything didn’t change the wanting, didn’t do away with the raw need to be in his arms.

Buffy realized then that she didn’t know what scared her more – the idea of falling for a literal monster or the idea of falling at all.

What would happen if she let Spike go now? He was all she had. She had no family, no real friends. For years, her life had become so entwined with Riley’s that it had been like she hadn’t had a life at all. Now she felt like she was waking up again, coming back to life, and Spike was a very, very big part of that. Could she give that up? Could she give up the way Spike made her feel?

The stake clattered to the ground as she ran out of the house, chasing Spike into the yard. He turned just in time for her to launch herself into his arms and kiss him hard.

When she pulled away, Spike was looking at her in shock. “Buffy, what…”

“I changed my mind.”

“Seriously? You’re not just fucking with mine?”

She gave him a small smile. “No.”

Spike’s answering grin was broad. He scooped her up in the air and kissed her again. Buffy gave in to the feel of kissing him, pushing everything out of her mind other than how Spike made her feel. Nothing else needed to matter, not when he was touching her.

He broke away from her lips to carry her up to the door, and Buffy clung to him, welcoming the comforting, solid feel of him against her.

Spike paused at the door, and Buffy looked up at him, her brow wrinkled. “Why are you stopping?”

“You have to invite me in, luv.”

“Oh, right.” Buffy swallowed, reminded again that the man holding her was something other than human. Common sense told her that inviting vampires into your home was a very bad thing to do. It had been the precursor to gruesome deaths in the movies she’d half-watched earlier. But this was Spike, and despite his insistence earlier that he could lose control, he really hadn’t.

Besides, the bed was inside.

“Come in, Spike,” she said hoping that was enough, that there weren’t some special vampire-inviting magic words she didn’t know.

Apparently, it was enough, because as soon as she spoke, Spike carried her into the house, kicking the door shut behind him.

“Bedroom’s the second one on the left.”

Spike carried her into the room and dropped her on the bed, shucking his long, leather coat before he was on her, kissing her. She writhed beneath him, moaning into his mouth.

A stray thought popped into her head, and Buffy smirked against Spike’s lips. He felt it and pulled back to look at her. “What?”

“I was just thinking it would be nice to actually have good sex in this bed for once.”

Spike smirked at that as well. “Getting a kick out of me fucking you in the bed you shared with your husband, are you?”

“Little bit, yeah.”

“Vindictive bitch,” Spike said in a teasing tone as he kissed the tip of her nose. She giggled and the sound made Spike smile. “I missed you today. So bloody much.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah. I regretted it all as soon as you left, but it was nine o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t go after you for hours. Drove me up the sodding wall.”

“So daylight and vampires really aren’t big with the mixing?”

“No. Direct sunlight makes me burst into flames.”

“Ouch.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Well, we can work around that,” Buffy said, her hand against his cheek.

“I’m glad you want to.”

“I’m glad you do, too.”

“Doesn’t feel like I have much of a choice.” Spike shook his head. “I don’t know how you managed to do this to me, luv, but I feel like I need you more than I need blood. My body craves you constantly.”

“I don’t want to try to figure out why anymore,” Buffy told him. “I don’t want to think at all. I just want to feel.”

Spike pressed his denim-covered cock against the apex of Buffy’s thighs. “I can make you feel, baby. I can make you feel all sorts of things.”

Buffy reached between them, her fingers tugging at his belt. She growled in frustration when she fumbled. Spike chuckled, amused. “Want something, kitten?”

Her hand slid down and gripped the bulge in his jeans. “That. I want that.”

“How convenient. He wants you, too.”

Buffy smiled at him, feeling her nervousness lessen. Spike was acting like himself again, or at least how he had acted before he’d freaked out on her. She liked this, liked how comfortable it made her feel around him when he was being playful and sexy at the same time. Things were normal again, like that other thing hadn’t happened at all.

“So can I have him then?”

“You know, you have absolutely no patience at all.”

Buffy pouted. “But I’m all empty…”

Spike shivered, her words and that irresistible little pout of hers making him rock hard. “And you want me to fill you up?” he asked, his voice dropping and covering her with goosebumps.

“Only you can.”

Spike’s eyes grew darker with lust, a low growl rumbling through him before he pulled her face to his and kissed her. They both lost the need to speak, communicating with their bodies instead, rolling on the bed with hands pulling desperately at clothing, a unifying desire between them to remove the barrier.

They ended up with Spike on his back and Buffy straddling his hips. She sank down on his cock, crying out in relief when she was indeed full again. He rested his hands on her hips, letting her set the pace, have control – something she couldn’t remember having happened in that particular bed before.

She felt better now, and not just from the sex itself. She felt as if she was exorcising what remained of Riley while moving on to something new with Spike. For the first time in years, she had a real future, something to look forward to. She was starting over, heading into something that was fresh, without the monotony her life with her husband had been.

Buffy looked down at Spike, finding it had to believe he was, in fact, dead. He seemed more alive than anyone else she knew, his eyes so bright and vibrant. The words came before she fully thought about them. “You feel alive to me.”

He blinked, then smiled softly. “With you, I am.”

*** *** ***

Thanks to all of you for the huge response I got for the last chapter. It was so nice to see so many people are really getting into this story. It makes me want to write it even more…

By now, the morning seemed surreal. It was late in the evening, and Buffy was resting in Spike’s arms, her body sated and pleasantly sore. He’d made love to her over and over again, as if he were assuring himself that she was real and still his.

The sheets were tangled around them, the comforter was on the floor, and Buffy was fairly certain the mattress was at an angle, but she was too comfortable to worry about any of it. A small giggle escaped her.

“What’s so funny, luv?”

“I was just thinking this bed hasn’t seen this much action in like ever.”

Spike chuckled as he brushed a kiss across her forehead. “It held up pretty well, though. We were going at it hard there for a while.”

Buffy smiled at the memory. “Yeah, we were.”

Spike’s expression shifted to concern as he looked Buffy over. “Are you sure I’m not too rough with you, kitten? I’m more used to sleeping with vampire women than human ones, especially when it comes to anything long term, and, well, they tend to be a bit more…durable.”

“I’m not fragile, Spike.”

He ran his hand down her cheek. “Yeah, luv, you are. You humans don’t like to dwell on it, but you can break pretty easily. And you’ve got a lot of soft, squishy parts. Believe me, I know.”

Buffy swallowed, refusing to dwell on how Spike knew. She didn’t want to think about how he “fed” from anyone other than her. Just because he had to drink blood to survive didn’t automatically make him a killer. She’d lived through him biting her several times, after all.

“I’m okay, Spike. Really. You’ve been rough, but never too rough. And I really don’t want you to change anything. I like things the way they are. It’s…intense.”

“But you’ll tell me if it ever gets to be too much, yeah?”

“I will.” Buffy kissed his cheek. “I promise.”

“Same goes for me biting you, sweetheart. If you don’t like that, you can tell me. I can’t promise I won’t ever forget, but…”

“No, biting’s good,” Buffy said, then blushed at how quickly she’d responded. “I…well…it feels really good when you do it.”

Spike grinned at her. “That’s because if I do it right, it can cause an instantaneous orgasm.”

“That’s handy. Does it have to be during sex, or…”

Spike said nothing as he took her arm and began to gently rub her skin, making Buffy’s pulse quicken. He locked his eyes with hers as his fingers centered on the inside of her wrist, feeling the rapid beat there. Slowly, he brought her wrist to his mouth, kissing that fluttering point before laving it with his tongue until Buffy’s breathing was ragged.

Buffy’s whole body felt on edge, every nerve tingling despite the fact he was only touching one spot. Her breathing grew labored, her body flush. Already, she felt herself teetering on the edge.

Then, Spike’s face shifted, and his fangs were in her flesh before she could register it was happening. Buffy cried out as white hot pleasure/pain shot through her body and she arched off the bed, shaking hard.

When she came down, Spike was gently licking her wrist. He saw her looking at him and his face changed back to human again before he kissed her wrist and let it go. “No, it doesn’t have to be during sex,” he said with a smirk.

Buffy lifted her wrist and inspected it. The now-familiar red mark was there, but the wound has already closed. “And you stopped the bleeding. How thoughtful.”

Spike smirked again, then laid back down beside her. “There’s something in vampire saliva, helps slow the blood. It’s like animals licking their wounds, only a bit more effective.”

“Handy.”

“Yeah, it is. Lets me to taste you.” Spike licked his lips, his eyes glinting.

“And I actually taste good?”

“Oh, baby, you have no idea,” he purred. Then, his voice softened, and he assured her with, “But I won’t take too much.”

“I know,” Buffy said with a smile. “Does it make sex better for you when you bite me? Or does sex just make you hungry?”

Her question made Spike laugh. “Well, it does tend to make me hungry, but then feeding makes me want sex. Truth is, it’s all intertwined for vamps. Blood, sex – they’re part of the same thing.”

“But you’d be willing to try to stop biting me if I asked you to?”

“Yeah, I would. Can’t promise I’d be able to stop myself every time, but I’d certainly try. If you actually wanted me to, that is.”

Buffy kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry, honey. I don’t want you to stop. It’s not something I ever thought I’d like, but then again, I never really gave a lot of thought to whether or not I’d like sex with a vampire at all.”

“Well, most vampires aren’t as sexy as me anyway.”

“No?” Buffy asked with an arch of her eyebrow.

“Nope. That whole idea of the devastatingly sexy vampire lover is just a myth. Except for me, of course. I’m the only exception.” He winked.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Uh huh. I’m sure.”

“It’s true. You just got incredibly lucky.”

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. “Well, I guess I can’t argue with the lucky part.”

Spike looked at her for a moment before a wide grin broke over his face. “God, you are bloody adorable.”

Buffy couldn’t help but smile back. She liked this, liked just feeling happy with someone.

It didn’t really seem to matter that the “someone” wasn’t exactly human. It wasn’t like she was the first person ever to get involved with someone who was different from them. And what did this one difference matter when they were compatible in other ways?

She didn’t think it mattered much at all when Spike’s smile turned to a leer. All that mattered then was she wanted him.

And he wanted her.

*** *** ***

Spike was sleeping soundly behind her when Buffy woke up. He had his arm wrapped tightly around her, his body as close to hers as it could be without him actually being inside her.

It made her feel desired, cherished. She never woke up with Riley like this. If she managed to wake up before him, he would usually be on the far side of the bed, his back to her. More often than not, however, he’d be out of bed before she woke up, never wanting to break his morning routine. Even on the weekends he hadn’t taken it easy in the mornings, and Buffy had long since stopped trying to convince him to change.

It didn’t appear that would be an issue with Spike.

Buffy turned in his arms and nuzzled her face against the crook of his neck. Spike rumbled in his sleep, his arm tightening around her. His erection was stabbing into her thigh now, and Buffy felt the need to take care of it for him. She’d never enjoyed just pleasuring a man quite like she did with Spike. She could get a thrill for herself by making him feel good alone.

Buffy reached under the blankets and gripped Spike’s cock, stroking it with slow, even movements.

She knew Spike was awake when he moaned, though his eyes remained closed. After a moment, he murmured, “God, Buffy, that feels so good.”

Buffy smiled a proud, womanly smile. “Roll over on your back, honey. I want to blow you.”

Spike’s eyes popped open then and he searched her face for a moment, as if trying to figure out if he’d heard what he thought he’d heard. With all the time they’d spent in bed, that hadn’t been something she’d done much.

“Are you going to stare at me or are you going to roll over so I can suck your cock?”

Certain now his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him, Spike rolled over like he’d been told. Buffy ducked under the covers, stopping when she was eye-level with his erection. She trailed her finger up the large, dark vein, wondering idly if the blood there had started out as hers. Was that how it worked? Did the blood vampires drank just provide nourishment or did it actually flow through their veins? Her research hadn’t been clear on that at all.

Although right now, she knew she had more pressing matters to attend to.

Buffy wrapped her hand around the thick base of Spike’s cock, keeping it steady as she lowered her mouth over the tip. “Yeah, pet, just like that,” Spike groaned, spurring Buffy on. The couple of times she’d used her mouth on him, Spike had always reacted strongly, making Buffy feel good about herself in the process. She wanted to please him and she wanted to feel successful when she tried.

She moved down, taking as much of him as she could into her mouth as she comfortably could, sucking as her hand slid up and down the rest of him. Buffy soon began to vary her movements, alternating between twisting and sliding her hand, sucking and moving her mouth up and down, making mental notes of what Spike seemed to like the most.

His hand was trembling as he brought it to rest in her hair, encouraging her with a caress of the golden strands. “That’s good, baby,” he told her, his voice choked with want. “So bloody good.”

Buffy smiled around his cock, his praise making her feel proud. She brought her free hand down and took hold of his balls, massaging them the way she knew he liked. Spike groaned, the grip he had on her hair tightening for a moment before he loosened it again.

“Buffy…that’s perfect, kitten. Yeah…keep doing it just like that.”

Buffy did as he asked, her mouth and one hand moving in tandem to meet on his shaft while the other hand worked his balls. Spike moaned, his hips shaking with the effort to keep from bucking up and causing her to choke.

His responses made Buffy feel bolder, more confident in her actions as well as her instincts. Carefully, she brought her head up and gently scraped her teeth along the shaft before lightly nipping at the tip.

“Fuck!” Spike yelled. He panted. “Do that again.”

Buffy smiled to herself before doing what he asked, this time following up by pulling the head of his cock back into her mouth and swirling her tongue around it.

At that, Spike’s hand shot out to grab her shoulder. “Baby, you need to stop,” he said between ragged gasps of breath. “I’m too close. Next thing you do could set me off.”

Buffy slid up, her head poking out from beneath the covers. “I want to finish you off like this.”

Well, if that was what she wanted, Spike certainly wasn’t going to argue the point. “In that case, get back down there.”

She giggled at his response as she slid back under the covers and returned to what she’d been doing. Buffy had stopped swallowing with Riley early in their marriage, deciding not to keep doing it when he did so little for her and she got no personal enjoyment out of the act anyway. But with Spike, she found herself actually wanting to, wanting to see how he would respond to her bringing this act to completion. He was so expressive during sex, and she loved just watching him experience what they shared.

Buffy wrapped her mouth back around him, drawing on long-unused knowledge of how to best go about this. Above her, Spike moaned, his ability to speak seemingly gone now that she’d told him he could give in fully to what she was doing to him and not worry about having to hold back. Wanting to push him over the edge, Buffy tightened the grip she had on his balls while she hummed around his shaft, having a feeling the dual sensations would be his undoing.

She was right.

Spike convulsed beneath her as he shot into her mouth, bellowing with that inhuman roar of his that never failed to make Buffy shiver. Buffy held him in her mouth until the last drop, discovering she hadn’t lost the ability to do this.

When Spike went limp beneath her, Buffy let him slip from her mouth and climbed back up his body, loving the sated expression she’d put on his face. She nipped at his earlobe and then the side of his neck. “Satisfied, baby?”

“God, yes,” Spike replied as he trailed his hand down to cup her bottom. “You are so bloody good at that.”

Buffy rubbed her body against his and practically purred in his ear. “I love making you feel good, Spike.” She paused for a moment, then added, “You’re so…appreciative.”

Spike turned her so he could look at her. “Why wouldn’t I be…” He stopped in mid-sentence. “He really was a git, wasn’t he?”

She ducked her eyes. “I think he just had some very old-fashioned notions about sex.”

At that, Spike snorted. “Please. I was born in bloody Victorian England and it certainly hasn’t stopped me from properly enjoying a woman in bed.”

“Okay, you may have a point there.”

“I definitely have a point there,” Spike corrected. He shook his head. “I know I’ve never met this Riley wanker, but from the looks of things, he was an idiot. Bloke actually got lucky enough to have a woman like you marry him, and then he just threw it all away for some meaningless trysts with hookers?” He shook his head again. “Bastard took for granted what he had.”

For a moment, Buffy just looked at Spike, but lowered her gaze when she realized what was behind his words. “And you can’t really have with me what he had, can you?”

Spike took a moment to answer, and when he did, the word was almost whispered. “No.”

“’Cause even if we can manage to stay together, I’ll get all old and die, and you won’t”

Spike tightened his arms around her, holding her closer. “Yeah, I guess that’s how it would happen. I haven’t…I don’t really know how this is supposed to go. The last time I fell in love with a human, I was one, too.”

“There are some definite roadblocks. We…” Buffy stopped short and pulled away so she could look at him. “Did…did you say you just say you’re in love with me?”

Spike’s eyes widened at her questions and he sputtered for a moment before realizing what he’d said. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“But…but you’ve only known me for like, a week.”

“I know. It’s crazy. This whole thing is crazy.” Spike turned on his side so he was facing Buffy and put his hand on her cheek. “But when I’m with you, I feel…I feel alive. You make me forget what I am, forget everything but how good I feel around you. I’ve been around a long bloody time, known a lot of women, and not a one of them has made me feel the way you do. So if that isn’t love, well, I’m not sure what is.”

“I…I can’t… I mean…”

Spike put a finger against Buffy’s lips and gave her a partial smile. “Shh, luv. I don’t expect you to say anything back. Hell, I didn’t even expect to be saying it myself.”

“But you do?” Buffy asked as Spike lowered his finger.

“Yeah, kitten. I do.”

Not sure of what she wanted to say, Buffy kissed him instead.

*** *** ***

Please review.

Spike lay alone in the bed, listening to the sounds of Buffy moving around in the kitchen. He’d been reluctant to let her out of bed, afraid she’d want to distance herself from him now that he’d let how he felt about her slip.

Truth be told, he’d been surprised to figure out he’d fallen in love with the girl, though now that he’d said the word, he had no doubt that was what he felt. It made no sense to the point it was almost absurd, but that didn’t make his feelings change.

Buffy certainly hadn’t been someone he’d thought he’d fall for. He’d gone out that night looking for dinner, not to have his heart stolen by some little blonde pixie.

Though now, looking back on that night, he realized she’d enchanted him even before he’d gotten her into his bed. He’d told himself as he watched her dance that his interest was purely physical, but now that he knew how she could touch his dead heart, he also knew it had always been more than that. She’d awoken something in him, made him remember what it was to yearn.

His first fifty years or so as a vampire had been the best in his memory. He’d had his sire, Drusilla, and together, they’d seen and done more than he’d even been able to dream of as a human. He’d been content to spend eternity in her arms.

Fate, however, had other plans.

Spike had watched her grow weak for years from an ailment for which he’d never been able to determine the cause. Drusilla had spent periods without any trace of lucidity, his once-strong dark princess reduced to being no more than a feeble child.

For a decade, he’d stayed by her side, loving her regardless of her mental state – until the night a mob took her away from him for good.

She’d told him not to worry, that someday sunshine would come and take care of him – right before she’d thrown herself into the mob’s waiting flames.

For years after that, Spike had through she’d meant he’d meet his end in the sun’s burnings rays. Without Drusilla, he’d almost welcomed the notion and cursed his inability to make himself walk into the sunrise.

Now, that he’d met Buffy, Spike was beginning to think that hadn’t been what Drusilla had meant by “sunshine” at all.

The small blonde woman had certainly brought light back into his existence when he’d thought any chance of it was gone forever. She made him happy, and somehow, made him fall in love in an instant when he’d thought his heart was too broken to mend.

Yet he knew, logically, this would have to end someday. Even if they managed to make this something that lasted, as Buffy had pointed out, someday she would age while he would not. If nothing else pulled them apart, death would.

Still, Buffy was young, not even thirty. He could have fifty good years with her, same as he had with Drusilla.

He knew there was an alternative, but he didn’t want to consider it. While he enjoyed what he was and certainly couldn’t find it in him to resent Drusilla for turning him, there were times that he longed for what he had lost. He didn’t want to force that on Buffy, didn’t want to push her into a life in the dark – out of the sunshine.

And even more than that, Spike knew from firsthand experience turnings didn’t always go the way you expected them to. Trying to keep Buffy forever could make him lose her for good.

Which brought him to the conclusion he shouldn’t wasting time and energy dwelling on things he had no control over. It wasn’t a perfect situation, but just having her at all felt like a blessing in the dreary stretch of loneliness his life had become. After all, if he was going to worry about anything, whether or not he’d scared her off with his unplanned declaration of love seemed a little more pressing.

While they’d had sex since he’d said it, Buffy had barely spoken, and that had Spike worried. If she was freaking out about it, Spike couldn’t say he blamed her. She was freshly-separated from her philandering husband and had only been in this relationship for a week. And, well, he was a vampire. All good reasons to balk there.

But Spike knew what he was feeling, and it wasn’t an emotion that tended to inspire rationality.

Instead, he was desperate to be near her again after only being apart for fifteen minutes – and still in the same house at that.

He got out of bed and searched around the room for a moment before he found where his jeans had ended up the night before. He put them on, then started towards the kitchen.

Spike stopped, however, in the living room, noticing the spread of books and DVD’s he’d been too preoccupied to see the night before. He picked up one of the DVD’s and raised an eyebrow.

“I…I wanted to see if I could find out about vampires after you said you were one.”

Spike looked up and saw Buffy standing in the doorway with a piece of toast in her hand. “Hate to burst your bubble, luv, but as entertaining as I’m sure The Best of Dark Shadows is, ol’ Barnabas isn’t exactly an accurate representation.”

Buffy blushed. “I sort of figured as much.” She cleared her throat and looked up slightly. “So does that mean I’m not going to take to my bed and get all weak like that Maggie chick?”

He favored her with an amused smile. “It doesn’t really work that way, pet.”

Buffy took a bite of her toast, chewed, and swallowed while she built up the courage to ask her next question. “So how does it work? Making someone a vampire, I mean.”

Spike cleared his throat, not sure this was really territory he wanted to enter with her. However, the mess in her living room made it pretty clear that she had a genuine interest in finding out about what he was, and he knew he probably owed it to her to answer her questions as best he could.

“In order for a person to become a vampire, a vampire has to drink their blood to the point where death is inevitable, then feed the person their blood,” Spike explained.

“So biting me like you have been…”

“Won’t turn you.”

“Good.”

An awkward silence filled the living room as Buffy munched on her toast, both of them unsure of what to saw now. Finally, she swallowed the last bite and asked, “Will it do anything to me at all? What about me biting you? ‘Cause I’ve done that, too.”

Despite the seriousness of the moment, Spike trembled at the memory of her teeth in his flesh. He’d never really thought a bite from a human could be so arousing, but somehow just the fact that it was Buffy made the act all that more arousing. “That’s not going to do anything to you either, kitten. You’d have to be near death and take more of my blood than you can from just a human bite for it to do anything to you.”

“Okay.” Buffy surveyed the living room, her cheeks growing red again. “I guess this does look kind of silly to you.”

Spike sat down on the couch and held his arm out towards her. “Come here, luv.” She did as he asked, and Spike pulled her against his chest and held her. “It’s not silly, sweetheart. You’re facing something you’re not familiar with, so of course you’re going to have questions.” He stroked her hair, shivering from the way she seemed to be molding against his side. “And it wasn’t like I was overly forthcoming yesterday morning.”

“You did kind of freak out,” Buffy said, though she didn’t move away from him.

“I’m sorry for that, sweetheart. If it’s any consolation, what had me so upset was the idea of hurting you. I thought…I thought it would be better if I drove you away so I’d know I couldn’t hurt you. Turns out I’m just not that self-sacrificing.”

“You don’t need to be. I’m a big girl, Spike. I can make my own decisions.”

Spike started to argue that he wasn’t sure she really could here since she clearly didn’t fully understand what she was signing up for, but he held his tongue. It was selfish of him, he knew, to want to keep Buffy for himself instead of letting her live her life with someone in the light, but he didn’t care. She was what he wanted, and he wasn’t about to go all noble now.

“Yeah, luv. I know you can.”

“I have been kind of wondering about one thing, though,” Buffy admitted. “About when you feed.”

Spike went still, even stopping his usual reflexive breathing. His feeding habits were the one thing he really didn’t want to discuss with her. He doubted she really knew how much of a predator he was and he didn’t want her to. He was certain if she did, she wouldn’t be nearly so comfortable in his arms. “What is it?” he asked, trying to keep his tone cool.

“Do you, well…” She cleared her throat and looked down. “Do you usually have sex when you feed? I mean, I know that’s why you picked me up the first night, so is that always what you do? Are…are you going to be with other women?”

Spike gave a mental sign of relief. That question had an answer he was happy to give. And if Buffy was okay with the fact he’d meant her to be dinner, then clearly she hadn’t figured out just what his feeding habits entailed – which was exactly what he wanted. “No, kitten, I’m not going to be with any other woman. I have to keep feeding – otherwise I’ll start wasting away – but I can promise you I won’t take anyone else to my bed. I’m not a cheater, Buffy. I never have been. I was with Drusilla for sixty years, and I never once strayed from her bed – even though she was too weak for sex for most of the last decade. Hell, I didn’t even cheat on my last girlfriend, and she was the most irritating woman I have ever met. Her voice was like nails on a bloody chalkboard.” Spike shuddered.

Buffy looked up at him again, one eyebrow arched. “She couldn’t have been that bad.”

Spike snorted. “Trust me, she was. Biggest mistake of my unlife. She was a fledgling, a new vampire, and her sire had pulled a turn-and-run. Poor lil’ chit was so lost, completely clueless on what she was doing. Kept bumping her head when she tried to feed and whatnot. So I offered to take her in, show her the ropes, and the next thing I knew, my sheets are pink, there’s bloody unicorns all over my house, and she’s clinging to me like a glittery boa constrictor. I should’ve known with a name like Harmony she’d drive me up the sodding wall.”

Buffy looked at him sharply. “Wait – Harmony, unicorns – was this Harmony Kendall?”

“Yeah,” Spike replied. “You know her?”

“I did. We went to high school together. And I stand corrected. She is the most annoying person ever.” Buffy wrinkled her nose. “You actually dated her?”

“Total lapse in judgment.”

“How drunk were you?”

“Terribly.”

Buffy shook her head, though she had a small smile on her lips. “I can’t believe you and Harmony… Small world.”

“Yeah. Really.”

“And she’s actually a vampire now. I can’t imagine how she’s surviving without her tanning booth and mirrors.”

“By whining about it constantly.”

“God, I hated her so much in high school,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “She was such a total bitch to me and my friend Willow. We committed the heinous crime of not caring what she thought.”

“Can’t say that I blame you. She didn’t think much.”

“No, she really didn’t. So do you usually go for the kind of woman who has a larger bra size than I.Q.?”

Spike looked at Buffy, fear gripping him for a moment as he worried this was going to have a detrimental effect on Buffy’s opinion of him. But then he saw the smirk playing on her lips and realized she was teasing him. “You think you’re cute, don’t you.”

“I’m adorable,” Buffy replied.

“Oh yeah? Where’d you hear that?”

Buffy waved her hand dismissively. “From some vampire.”

Spike laughed, relieved that neither his revelation about dating her former classmate nor his slipped declaration of love seemed to be running her off. “Well, I guess if this vampire says so, then I better agree with him.”

“You better,” Buffy agreed with a nod. “I hear he can get all cranky.”

Suddenly, Spike grabbed Buffy and pulled her into his lap, eliciting a surprised squeak, followed by a laugh before she leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. It made him break out into a wide grin, and before he could stop it, his mouth was moving. “God, I love you.”

Immediately, he was mentally kicking himself. Just because she hadn’t run from him after he’d said it once didn’t mean she’d be all right with him saying it repeatedly when their relationship was so new. “I’m sorry, pet. It just…slipped out.”

Buffy put her hand against his cheek. “It’s all right, Spike. I’m not ready to say it back yet, but I don’t mind you saying it. I…I like the way you say it. It sounds…well, sincere.”

“It is. You stole my heart at first sight, Buffy.”

“I like that,” Buffy admitted. She dropped her hand from his cheek and trailed a finger down his bare chest. “I’m starting to get why people think vampires are all romantic.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Spike cupped the back of her head and brought her into a kiss, moaning at the taste of her. Suddenly, she pulled away, but before Spike could protest, he watched her bite down hard on her own lip, bringing a drop of blood to the surface.

“Oh, Buffy,” Spike growled before bringing her lips back to his, the taste of her blood in the kiss making his touch harsh, passionate. Buffy ground herself against the bulge in his jeans, his fingers tangled in his hair, already mussed from sex and sleep.

In one fluid movement, Spike had her on her back on the couch, his body over hers. She wrapped her legs around his back, urging him on as his hands coasted up her sides, finding the bare peaks of her breast. She pushed her upper body into his hands as she squirmed beneath him, desperate for more contact.

The sudden knock at the door took Buffy by surprise, and she yelped as Spike broke away from her. “Ignore them until they go away,” Buffy whispered, making Spike smile and descend on her lips again.

But when the unwelcome visitor followed his increasingly-louder knocks by shouting from the other side of the door, Buffy knew she wasn’t getting rid of him that easily.

“I know you’re in there, Buffy! I’m going to keep knocking until you answer the door.”

The look on Buffy’s face told Spike all he needed to know about who it was intruding on them.

Riley Finn.

*** *** ***

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Spike watched the look of lust on Buffy’s face be quickly replaced by distress the moment her estranged husband’s voice boomed from through the door. “You want me to make him go away?” Spike asked.

“Yes,” Buffy said quickly, then realized she may have said that a little too quickly. “Um…I mean, if you wouldn’t mind…”

“Mind?” Spike asked, Riley’s fist pounding on the door sounding in the background. “Please. If I didn’t plan to spend the next several hours shagging your brains out, I’d suspect it would be the highlight of my day.”

Buffy chuckled. “Well then, have at it.”

With a look of pure glee in his eyes, Spike bounded from the couch and flung open the door, the porch enough to protect him from any direct sunlight. “What the hell do you want, wanker?”

Riley was obviously surprised to see Spike at the door. “Who are you?”

“I’m Buffy’s boyfriend, you pillock. Who the hell are you?”

“I’m her husband,” Riley snapped, quickly pushing back his surprise to make room for anger.

“The worthless piece of shite who was fucking around on her?”

Riley gaped for a moment before he pointed an accusatory finger at Spike. “You have no right to talk about my marriage.”

“Your marriage is over, you miserable excuse for a man. Stay the hell away from Buffy.”

“Look, you arrogant little punk, Buffy is my wife. We may be having some problems, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re married. We’re going to work things out, even if she has made the very bad judgment call of having a fling with you.”

Spike balled his fists at his side, using every bit of strength he had to keep the demon at bay. He wanted nothing more than to sink his fangs into the pathetic wanker’s beefy neck and tear him apart – quite possibly after he fucked Buffy right in front of him and showed him exactly whose woman she was.

But something told Spike Buffy wouldn’t appreciate either gesture, so he kept his demon in check.

“Look, you’re embarrassing yourself here, mate,” Spike said, forcing his tone to stay even, his body language relaxed. “Buffy’s not interested in you. So just go. Let her get on with her life in peace.”

“You can’t keep my out of my own house,” Riley snarled. “I came here to see my wife, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

Riley pushed past Spike in an attempt to get to Buffy, but it took Spike only a moment to move like the predator he was, grab Riley, and push him against the wall. “You stay the hell away from her,” Spike said, his voice a growl of warning. “You’ve already hurt her enough.”

The demon in Spike was screaming for the blood of the person who dared to try to touch his woman while the man in him railed against the injustice that had been done to Buffy. It wasn’t often that the demon and the man were in such perfect synch – and it didn’t bode well for Riley.

However, Riley clearly didn’t know how dangerous the situation he’d put himself in truly was. He pushed Spike back and once again turned his sights on Buffy.

“What is this, Buffy?” Riley yelled. “Did you think you could get me back for sleeping with whores by being one?”

Almost as soon as the words were out of Riley’s mouth, Spike struck. He punched Riley hard, loving the satisfying crunch he felt beneath his fist.

Riley stumbled to the ground from the force of Spike’s blow, then looked up in shock as blood streamed down his face. “I think you broke my nose,” he said in disbelief, his hand covering his nose.

“Get out before I break something you cherish a bit more,” Spike snarled, his nostrils flaring at the scent of Riley’s blood. His demon howled beneath the surface again.

Riley rose shakily to his feet, trying to stare Spike down. “Look, you scrawny piece of shit, I have military training, so you really don’t want to make this a fight.”

Spike sneered, the look in his eyes enough to scare anyone with sense. “Don’t underestimate me, boy. You really just want to walk away from this.”

“When I get done with you, you won’t be walking away from anything,” Riley threatened.

Sensing things were about to get really ugly, Buffy jumped up from the couch and ran between the two men. “Riley, that’s enough. You can’t just barge in here, insult me, and threaten my boyfriend.”

“He broke my nose, Buffy!” Riley yelled.

“Because you called me a whore! Get out here now, Riley. This is harassment, and if I have to take the matter to the police, I will.”

Riley sneered at her. “You know, you keep saying that, but this is my house. The police can’t make me stay out of it.”

“Actually, seeing as you’ve been making threats and harassing your ex, I’m thinking the cops would have a different view on that,” Spike said as he placed his hand on Buffy’s shoulder. “And didn’t you say you had pictures of him soliciting prostitutes, luv? I’m sure the police would really love to get a look at those.”

“I do have them,” Buffy said, Spike’s touch making her feel calmer almost immediately. “Several copies, in fact. Doesn’t solicitation get you jail time?”

Riley pointed a bloody finger at Buffy. “You are going to come back to me,” he said before storming out of the house and slamming the door behind him.

For several moments, the room was silent. Finally, Spike cleared his throat and spoke. “Uh, pet? You didn’t tell me your ex is completely insane.”

“I didn’t know he was. He’s not usually like this.”

“Ever try to leave him before?”

“No.”

Spike turned Buffy around to face him. “Kitten, listen to me. Don’t ever open the door to him if I’m not around. If he does show up and you’re alone, call the police immediately. Don’t speak to him, and don’t hesitate to make that phone call.”

Buffy swallowed. “You…you really think he’s that dangerous?”

“Yeah, I do. Man like that, he doesn’t take too well to losing what he thinks is his.”

Buffy went back to the couch and put her face in her hands for a moment before she looked up again. “Why is this happening to me? It’s not bad enough that I had to endure being married to the man, but now he’s going all possessive psycho on me, too?”

Spike came over and knelt in front of the couch, taking her hands in his. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You don’t deserve this at all. Would it make you feel better if you came to stay with me for a little while? He wouldn’t know where you were then, and you wouldn’t have to worry about being alone.”

“You…you wouldn’t mind? I wouldn’t be like totally cramping your vampire style?”

Spike smiled warmly at her and brought one hand up to touch her hair. “No, luv. All that matters to me is that you’re safe.”

“You…you really love me, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Buffy looked down at the hand still in hers and ran her fingers over his knuckles. “You didn’t hurt your hand on his nose, did you?”

“No, I’m fine. You gonna give me an answer, pet?”

“I…” Buffy took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “Yeah. We…we can do it for a bit, but if you get tired of having me around…”

Spike tilted his face so she was looking at him again. “Not gonna happen, kitten. You must be able to tell by now that I like having you around.”

“You seem to,” she said, giving into a small smile. “And I would feel safer. This…this is the second time he’s shown up here. I had the locks changed after the last time.”

“Did he just let himself in?”

“Yeah. It was really late on Thursday. I came back from your place and took a shower, and when I came out of the bathroom, he was in the bedroom.”

“Okay, you’re definitely staying with me for a while. And it might be a good idea to let someone at work know what’s going on, too. He’s already shown he’s willing to contact you there, too, with the flowers. He could step it up to personal visits.”

Buffy sighed. “I know. You’re right. God, am I like totally stalkalicious or something?”

Spike’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I dated this guy before Riley, and he went totally crazy on me. He actually broke into my house to write messages in blood on the walls. The police said it was animal blood, but still – creepy.” She dropped her head in her hands again. “God, I sure do know how to pick ‘em.”

“Two stalkers and a vampire. Yeah, I’d say you have bleedin’ tragic taste in men all right.”

Buffy peeked out from behind her fingers to give him a glare before dropping her hands and sighing. “Actually, you’ve treated me better than any other guy I’ve ever been with, fangs and all.”

Spike kissed her forehead. “And I plan to keep it that way.” He stood up, then sat beside her on the couch. “So we’ll wait until it gets dark, and then we’ll go over to my place. You can bring whatever you need.”

“Thank you. I really do appreciate this. I’m…I’m not sure I could sleep here tonight.”

“Can’t say that I blame you.”

Buffy sighed, the sound of it weary. “Would it be all right if I took a nap? I suddenly feel really, really tired.”

“Of course, sweetheart. You want me with you?”

Buffy nodded. “Could you maybe just…hold me?”

“I’d be happy to, lamb.”

Spike walked with Buffy into the bedroom, her small hand wrapped in his. As soon as they were on the bed, she curled herself around him, her heart – which had been thudding since Riley’s visit – slowing down to a normal rhythm.

She felt safe with him. Regardless of what he was, she felt safe with him.

And Spike was beginning to think she didn’t have any reason not to.

His demon had been roaring during the fight with Riley, desperate for blood – until Buffy had stepped between them. The demon had still wanted Riley dead, still wanted to rip out his throat; however, it had been willing to step back and take a defensive position, with Buffy’s safety the paramount issue.

It wasn’t until Riley left and things began to calm that Spike realized what that meant.

His demon loved Buffy, too.

Spike couldn’t remember a time when the beast inside him was as calm as it was in that moment. He could hear the flow of her blood in her veins, and yet the demon wasn’t calling for it, despite the fact he hadn’t truly fed the night before. And while the thought of tasting her blood made him tremble, she didn’t trigger thoughts of food.

While he knew he probably had better control of his demon than most of his kind, he was still subject to its desires. Rarely were the demon he was and the man he had been in such perfect synch. Yet somehow, all of him had managed to fall in love with the tiny woman curled up in his arms. He wouldn’t have even believed it were possible except for that there was no mistaking what he felt.

Buffy made a noise that drew Spike back to the moment. “You’re comfy,” she said, her eyes still closed. “Way better than a pillow.”

Spike smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Glad you think so, luv.”

Buffy snuggled closer to him, though she still didn’t open her eyes. “I feel all…cozy. And completely content despite Riley being such an ass.”

Her words made him feel warm, even though he didn’t even know how that was possible. “Me, too, kitten.”

“I like it when you call me kitten,” Buffy said with a smile.

“It’s what you remind me of, all tiny an’ warm.” He smirked even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “And I’ve got to watch the claws.”

Buffy giggled as she finally opened her eyes enough to peek up at him. “And here I thought you liked the claws.”

“Oh, baby. I love the claws. Feel free to dig them into me anytime you want.”

In response, Buffy ran her fingernails down his bare chest, lightly scraping the skin. Spike shook, his cock instantly responding to any touch from her. “Careful, pet,” he warned, knowing how difficult it would be to calm himself down once she worked him up.

Buffy nipped at the side of his chest, causing Spike to grow rock-hard in an instant. “Or what, you’ll pounce? I may be a kitten, but you – you’re a big jungle cat.” She bit his side again, harder this time.

“Buffy…” Spike said, warning in his tone. “I thought you wanted to rest.”

“I did. But then we were here, and you’re so close…” She looked up at him, a twinkle in her eye. “Besides, you were actually pretty hot fending Riley off.”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” She licked the small red mark her teeth had left on his skin.

“So…you don’t want me just to hold you?”

“Nope. Changed my mind on that.” Buffy winked. “Woman’s prerogative and all.”

“Well, maybe I just want to cuddle,” Spike countered, trying very hard to keep a straight face.

Buffy’s hand moved under the covers to unbutton his jeans and grip his cock. “Yeah, right. There’s no way you can be this hard and just want to cuddle.”

Spike moaned and thrust his hips up towards her soft hand, wishing her touch could be everywhere at once. Even after what he’d experienced with Drusilla, he’d never imagined that one woman’s touch could be so much more than anyone else’s. With just a tap of her finger, Buffy could shake him to his core.

And it wasn’t just the heat of her skin or the sound and scent of fresh human blood flowing in her veins. Buffy was far from his first human, and yet, none of the others had ever been like this.

With her hand pumping a steady rhythm on his cock, Buffy nipped at Spike’s neck, putting another dent into is control. “How do you want me, baby?” she asked in a breathy whisper, adding to the pressure Spike already felt in his cock.

“On your back,” he replied without hesitation, knowing exactly what he wanted. Now wasn’t the time for creativity or playfulness. He wanted inside of her, wanted to feel her surrounding him, drawing him into the best place he’d ever been.

And his demon wanted to stake its claim, put his mark on the woman another man had dared try to call his.

Buffy immediately rolled over, letting Spike settle between her legs without teasing. He pushed her shirt up, exposing her stomach and pert breasts before shoving her shorts off her legs and ripping her panties. He pushed his jeans off his hips, gripped his cock, and slid into her.

She clenched around him and called out his name, and Spike had to still himself for a moment, holding off the urge to succumb to the feel of her already. She was impossibly tight, perfectly soft, and that first moment was always a threat to his control.

It didn’t help that she’d immediately begun to squirm beneath him, with all sorts of sexy noises coming from her. Why any man would pay for sex when they had a woman like this at home was something Spike would never understand, but at the moment he would gladly thank Riley for his stupidity.

Buffy brought her legs up, her ankles locked behind his back, and pulled Spike deeper into her. She whimpered, her pink tongue moving over her full lips, making them glisten. “Spike…baby, please. You gotta move. I need to feel you moving inside me.”

He couldn’t hold back any longer after that plea. Spike still wasn’t sure he could keep himself from shooting off like a schoolboy, but he gave in anyway, too desperate for the woman beneath him to deny himself any longer. He drove into her, lost in the sensation of filling her and being surrounded.

His senses had been heightened for so long he’d forgotten what they were like before, but when he was with Buffy, everything seemed to sharpen even more until all he knew was her scent, her touch, her taste. Her cries of pleasure echoed in his ears and his fingers itched with the need to feel every part of her.

He became so lost in the sensations of being with her that Spike almost missed what she was saying. She was trembling, hanging just on the edge, and begging him over and over again for what she knew would send her over. “Bite me. Please…bite me.”

The plea alone would’ve sent Spike into the throes of an orgasm if it weren’t for the fact that he would rather come with the taste of her blood on his tongue. She was whimpering in desperation, clawing at his arms as she tried to draw him closer, and Spike wasn’t about to deny her.

He let his demon rush forward, the feel of letting his fangs break the surface a release in itself. He always struggled to keep his human face in the fore with Buffy, not wanting to scare her, and it was a relief to be able to stop holding back now.

Spike brought his mouth to her neck, licking and sucking at her pulse point, drawing a keening sound from her. She shook harder, drew blood herself as her nails cut deeper.

The moment his fangs slid into her skin, Buffy came. She screamed his name, her pussy strangling Spike’s cock as her inner walls fluttered rapidly. The sweet taste of her blood flowed over his tongue, and Spike was gone, too, feeding from her as he shot inside of her. It was a moment of sheer pleasure, of nothing but feeling, and in it he knew why she’d been so easy to love.

As his cock stopped jerking, Spike brought his fangs from her neck, careful not to tear the delicate flesh. Gently, he licked the wounds closed, worshipping her skin with his tongue, wanting to leave her whole.

When he felt Buffy tug gently on his hair, he looked up at her, smiling when he saw her smiling at him. He forgot he was still in game face until she ran her fingers along the ridges of his forehead. His smile fell then, and he wished he’d had the sense to change back before she got such a good look at this side of him. It had never been something he was ashamed of, but with Buffy, it wasn’t something he really wanted to give her a chance to see clearly either. He was too afraid of scaring her off.

However, Spike learned what a waste that fear was as soon as Buffy spoke, her voice soft, almost reverent. “You’re beautiful like this.”

Spike filled with emotion, unsure of what to say. So he whispered the only word that had any real meaning to him at the moment. “Buffy…”

“Do I need to be afraid, Spike?” she asked, as if she knew the answer, as if he was the one who needed to hear it instead.

His chest tightened in a way Spike hadn’t thought was possible anymore. “No, kitten. You don’t.”

Buffy kissed him. His fangs nicked her lip. She didn’t care.

*** *** ***

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“The closet’s over there. Feel free to push my stuff out of the way to make room for yours. The kitchen’s on the other side of the den, but there’s nothing in there right now, aside from beer and some chicken wings that have probably grown fuzz by now, so if you want food in here, we’re going to have to do some shopping.”

Buffy smirked at Spike’s description of his fridge’s contents as she walked towards the closet. “Beer and moldy chicken wings? Vampire or not, you are such a guy.”

“Yes, well, being undead doesn’t get you out of signing the Guy Code,” Spike deadpanned. “It’s very strict about what you can and can’t keep in the kitchen if there’s no woman living on the premises.”

“Uh huh. I bet.” Buffy opened the closer, noting how spacious it was, though it was nowhere near full. Aside from a few colorful overshirts, it had almost nothing but several black t-shirts and pairs of black jeans. “Does that code apply to your wardrobe, too?”

Spike came in behind her and shrugged. “Why mess with what works? We both know I look good in what I wear.”

Buffy giggled as she started to unpack her things, surprised at how comfortable she felt doing this. She was worried she’d feel too much like she was intruding on Spike’s space, but it felt like just the opposite instead. “Yeah, the look does work for you,” she agreed. “You’ve got the body to pull off tight.”

“Glad you approve, luv.”

“I’d have to be blind not to.” She squeaked when she suddenly felt Spike’s arms around her waist. “You were over by the closet door like half a second ago!”

“Vampire speed, luv,” Spike replied as he dipped his head to kiss her neck.

“What, you can’t even give me a minute to deal with my clothes?”

“I don’t like your clothes. They keep you from being naked.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help herself from leaning back against him. “You are like the horniest man ever.”

“It’s your fault,” Spike countered, his hands moving up to caress the undersides of her breasts through her shirt. “You’re just too hot.”

“Yeah, like I’m actually that good looking to make a man like you want me all the time.”

Spike’s hand dropped and he took a step back from her. Buffy felt herself tense. She didn’t want to argue, not right now. “Spike?” she said softly. “Don’t get mad at me.”

“I’m not. Well, not at you. Look at me, Buffy.”

Buffy turned slowly. “What?”

“Do you really not know how amazing you are?” Spike asked, his head cocked slightly to the side.

Buffy shrugged. “It’s not like I think I’m some hideous hag, Spike. I know I’m pretty enough, but…”

Spike cut her off. “No. There’s no buts here, Buffy, I don’t care about what those tossers in your past made you think. They were idiots and clearly not man enough to handle you. And yeah, while you are absolutely gorgeous, it’s so much more than that.” He put his hands back on her hips and pulled her to him, his voice dropping when he spoke again. “You’re so raw, Buffy. You feel everything and you let you body respond in kind. Do you have any idea how bloody refreshing that is? It’s so easy to lose myself in you, kitten. You’re in my blood in more ways that one; I’m addicted to you, to how you make me feel.”

“But every other man I’ve been with has gotten bored with me,” Buffy said, her voice small.

“They didn’t know what they were doing,” Spike told her. “Sex has got to be a give and take. You have to be able to turn each other on for it to work. And if one half of the pair is selfish or lazy, they’re not going to get much out of the other person either.”

Buffy looked down at her hands. “But even when Riley would try to spice things up in the bedroom, I wasn’t any good,” she said. “He’d get frustrated with me.”

“What would he want to do?” Spike asked, trying to keep his voice calm and not just rail on her ex – or jump Buffy to show her just how desirable she truly was. He needed to know where she’d been if he was going to make things better for her in the future.

“He…he liked me to wear outfits and do like…roleplay stuff. But I sometimes had a hard time getting into it, and then he’d tell me I was ruining the mood. A couple times I messed up so bad he just left.”

Spike sucked in a deep breath. “Buffy, who picked the scenarios for those games?” he asked.

“He did.”

“Did the two of you ever discuss them beforehand?”

“Not really.”

“And did they ever coincide with your fantasies, too?”

“No.”

“So how exactly could you be expected to get into them?”

Buffy shrugged, her focus still on the ground and not on Spike. “I should have tried harder.”

“Give and take,” Spike said again. “Nothing you do in bed should be all for one person, at least not all the time.”

“Or maybe I’m just not very creative,” Buffy muttered.

Spike resisted his initial urge to yell at her, knowing that would do more damage than good. The only way he was going to convince her there was nothing wrong with her bedroom skills was if he showed her, let her gradually build up her confidence. “How about we do this, luv – you think of a game you want to play, a fantasy of your own, and then we’ll try it out,” he suggested.

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to come up with anything now. Give it some time.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“I know.” Spike kissed her forehead. “Okay. You want me to help you unpack?” Buffy nodded and Spike smiled, the next words coming out on their own. “I love you.”

“I like it when you say that,” Buffy admitted.

“Good, because I’m not going to stop. Whatever wacky notions to the contrary you have in your head.”

“No one’s ever made me feel the way you do.”

“And you can’t believe it’s the same for me with you?” Spike asked.

“Well, you’re the most amazing lover I’ve ever had, and I barely know what I’m doing, so…”

Again, Spike had to stop himself from snapping. The last thing she needed was him getting frustrated and losing his temper over this, but it was like she wasn’t listening to him at all. “Good sex isn’t about skills or experience, luv. It’s about two people clicking. And we do.”

“I guess we do have pretty good chemistry…”

“Sweetheart, we have amazing chemistry. Trust me, I’ve been around long enough to know when something’s really special.”

“I keep thinking this thing I’m feeling can’t possibly be mutual.”

Spike bit back a smirk. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Buffy finally looked up at him. “But it is?”

“Completely, lamb.” Spike kissed her gently, then pulled away. “Let’s get you settled in, yeah?”

Buffy nodded, and Spike was encouraged by the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

*** *** ***

Like this, Buffy could easily forget the man beside her was technically a corpse. They were cuddled together on the couch, a mostly-eaten pizza in a box on the floor. She’d put on one of his t-shirts and a part of sweats, and she felt more like a woman spending a quiet night in with her boyfriend than anything else.

Which she supposed was exactly what she was.

Buffy had decided she just wasn’t going to dwell on Spike’s supernatural state. Despite what he’d said, she couldn’t imagine that he’d actually be dangerous. She understood, abstractly at least, that he needed blood to survive, but other than that, he didn’t seem all that different from anyone else. He was intelligent and handsome, not some snarling beast.

Her stomach fluttered at that thought, and she amended it with at least not in a bad way…

So they wouldn’t be going on any picnics on warm, sunny days or spending a lot of time at the beach. She could do without that. Past that, she didn’t really see how being involved with Spike would be any different than dating someone who wasn’t a vampire. It was like dating someone with a medical condition that restricted certain activities – not really a big deal at all.

The important things were there. She could connect with him in and out of the bedroom. He treated her well and knew how to make her laugh. They could spend a night in snuggling on the couch and flipping through the channels and be perfectly content. They liked the same things on their pizza. What else did she really need?

He hadn’t even complained when she’d wanted to watch something Riley would’ve called too “girly” and bitched about until she turned it off.

“You’re a good boyfriend,” Buffy told him, snuggling closer.

Spike chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Am I?”

“Yup.”

“Not hard when you’ve got a bloody adorable girlfriend,” Spike replied, his tone light and teasing. It made Buffy feel warm all over.

“Tell me you love me again.”

Spike tilted her face so she was looking up at him and brushed her hair back with his hand. “I love you.”

Buffy smiled, her heart fluttering just from the words. And his eyes… She’d never had a man look at her the way Spike did when he said he loved her.

“You believe me, don’t you kitten?” Buffy nodded and Spike cupped her chin to bring her close enough to kiss. His lips affirmed what his eyes had told her, making her certain that this man had managed to perfect the kiss.

And she did believe him. She knew this was what had gotten her in trouble in the past, throwing herself headlong into a relationship and choosing to ignore anything that could give her pause, but she didn’t care. Spike made her feel happy, and that was something she hadn’t had in a long time. She hadn’t felt anything in a long time. Within the first year of her marriage, she’d shut herself down, numbing herself when the only thing she’d been able to feel was pain.

Never in her life had she truly felt loved or cherished. No one had ever treated her like she was the world, and Buffy was responding to it like a woman dying of thirst suddenly being shown an oasis.

She wanted to be loved. She wanted to feel like she was important to someone. It was what had led her to marry Riley in the first place. She didn’t want to be so alone.

“Say it again,” Buffy prodded, her tone bordering on desperate, as if she were afraid if she didn’t hear him say it now, she’d miss her last chance.

“I love you.” Spike kissed her mouth then said it again. “I love you.”

“More,” Buffy pleaded, not caring about how needy she sounded.

Spike rained kisses over her face, professing his love after each one. Buffy trembled in his arms, and Spike lifted her shirt over her head and lowered her to the couch, moving over her so he could continue downwards with his kisses and declarations of love. Her legs twined around his calves, her toes curling. She held him close, shaking with emotion and want.

Spike slid his fingers past the waistband of her sweats and into her panties, immediately finding the hot, wet evidence of her arousal. He’d barely touched her, and he knew it was hearing he loved her that had turned her on so much. He moaned against her skin as he pressed his lips to her bare abdomen, needing to be inside her more than anything else in the world.

He brought her sweats down quickly, dropped them on the ground, then opened his jeans and brought his cock out into his hands.

“Yes, please…Spike…” Buffy begged, though her pleas were unnecessary. Nothing could have stopped him from being inside her.

Her eyes closed as he worked his way into her body, but they opened again when his fingers dug slightly into her hips. “Look at me when I’m inside you,” Spike ordered, his husky words impossible for Buffy to ignore. “I want you to see everything.”

Buffy nodded, biting her bottom lip as she locked her gaze with his. She’d never seen eyes like his before, the shade often changing with his moods, allowing her a glimpse inside the man. They were dark now, full of lust, and Buffy felt her pulse quickening. Spike would never make her guess as to whether he wanted her or not.

“So fucking beautiful,” Spike said softly as he began moving his hips, keeping Buffy’s gaze trapped with his. “God, pet… Everything about you…your hair, your eyes…bloody everything.”

Buffy couldn’t respond with words, her body too caught up in what he was doing to her. She clung to Spike, needing him close, needing to feel his skin beneath her fingertips.

Soon, his words were replaced with harsh pants and his thrusts gradually grew in speed and depth, but his eyes stayed on hers, telling her things he could never express with words alone. Buffy had never felt as close to anyone as she did to him in that moment, and she trembled with the power of it and clutched him tighter, needing him to anchor her even as he threatened to make her float away.

It was when he said those words again that she fell apart. She gasped his name, continued to watch his eyes as he surrendered and fell with her.

Shaking as hard as she was, Spike collapsed against her chest. Buffy held him close and was content.

*** *** ***

Spike waited until he was sure Buffy was asleep before he got out of bed and dressed. He wished he didn’t need to leave her side, but the only other option was feeding on her alone, and he wasn’t going to do that. Tasting her to heighten sexual pleasure was one thing, but she was too small to be his primary source of blood. He’d figured out quickly that it didn’t take long for him to render her unconscious, and he wasn’t going to take any chances. Spike knew he’d never be able to forgive himself if he hurt Buffy by being careless.

He resisted the urge to kiss her sleeping form, knowing it could wake her, and he needed to feed. He’d gone without the night before, and the drinks he’d taken from her weren’t nearly enough. The last thing he needed to do when he was with a woman who set him on fire the way Buffy did was let himself grow weak from hunger.

He slipped out of the building, taking advantage of his preternatural stealth, and walked to the nearby nightclub where he’d met Buffy for the first time. It was one of his favorites due to the high number of drunk young women who frequented it and the fact that in this town, no one seemed to care when bodies showed up drained of blood. He’d stayed in other places where he had to be careful, picking who he drained and who he let live, so as not to arouse unwanted attention from anyone. However in this place, the people either knew what was going on and chose to turn a blind eye or were raving idiots. Spike wagered it was a bit of both.

He found his meal in a tall brunette with dark eyes. A blonde woman similar to Buffy in stature had walked by as well, but his demon had rebeled at the idea of killing a woman so close to its chosen mate.

The brunette followed Spike into an alley easily enough, his handsome visage allowing him to have no problem finding women willing to come with him almost anywhere.

Spike leered at her, knowing she’d mistake what was in his eyes for another kind of lust. She let him back her into a wall without a fight, didn’t struggle even when he placed his hand over her mouth. Her heart was thumping madly in her chest, her scent flavored with feminine arousal, and Spike felt his demon roar to the surface as he ran his tongue along the pulsepoint of her neck.

This was what his demon had been unable to feel with Buffy, a fact that had angered him at first, though he’d since come to be grateful for it. However, it was a reaction unique to his relationship with Buffy, the demon’s desire not to hurt not extending past the blonde he’d left in his bed. The woman in his arms now was nothing more than prey.

“I’m going to kill you,” he told her in a low voice, waiting for a moment as her brain registered what it was he’d actually said. She began to struggle, but Spike held her, his hand clamped tightly against her mouth, muffling her screams.

While the demon had decided to accept what Buffy was to him, it didn’t quell at the beast’s anger at loving a human. It went against his nature to be so tender, especially when the woman still had a heartbeat, and the demon demanded balance.

He was ruthless in his feeding, savagely tearing the girl’s neck and relishing her muffled sounds of pain. He let his darker nature break through now, hoping it would serve to prevent him from going too far with Buffy if he sated his bloodlust now.

The girl was sweet, her blood rich with the taste of her fear. He drained her dry, not stopping until her body was limp and lifeless. Spike pulled his head back from her neck and licked his lips, savoring the last drops of her blood before he hoisted her up and tossed her into a nearby dumpster.

Warm blood flowing in his veins now, the lust shifted, both man and demon focused again on the woman waiting in his bed. A push of supernatural speed got him home quickly, and this time, he managed to be back by her side before she woke.

She was sleeping peacefully, but Spike wanted her too much to care about waking her. He shucked his clothes and joined her on the bed, flipped her over onto her stomach, and slid into her from behind without hesitation.

Spike heard her gasp and felt her buck as she woke up suddenly, but he didn’t stop moving. If anything, his thrusts grew harder, giving Buffy no time to adjust to his large cock inside her. She moaned and panted beneath him, her hands clawing at the sheets.

He knew he shouldn’t be taking her with the demon so much in control. The last time he had, he’d felt horrible afterwards, knowing he’d hurt her even if she claimed she’d been okay with it. But Spike also knew he couldn’t keep the demon away from her completely, and if he could at least keep it satisfied with rough sex, then maybe Buffy would be safer in the long run. So he let the demon out to play.

And the demon wanted both her pleasure and her pain.

His hand came down hard on her squirming ass, and Buffy cried out but didn’t seem to protest. He hit her again, harder this time, eliciting a choked sob from her. He snarled, his yellow eyes glinting in the dark, then began to rain consecutive blows on her skin, turning her flesh a dark red.

She cried out with each strike of his hand, but when a particularly loud wail was accompanied by the quaking of her vaginal muscles, Spike knew he’d made her come. He rode out her orgasm before flipping her over, barely registering her face was tearstained before he dove down and caught the side of her breast between his fangs. Buffy screamed, her nerves still on edge from her last release as another wave of pleasure crashed over her.

The sweet taste of her blood was just what it took to send him over the edge with her.

His cock still nestled in her body, Spike licked the wound on her breast closed then settled down against her chest and fell asleep, content.

*** *** ***

I’m sorry there was such a delay in chapters. I’ve been blocked on this story for a while and was trying to hold off on posting until I thought I could work on it again.

Please review and let me know if I’ve still got my audience on this one…

Buffy ached everywhere. The days of sex marathons with a supernatural being she’d been engaging in had suddenly caught up with her in a big way. And after that rough sex he’d woken her up with last night… She trembled at the thought, though she wasn’t sure she could take any more for the time being.

Maybe she should just actually go to work. That would give her some time to work out the kinks and then she could come back later and hopefully be up for more…

Spike was still asleep beside her, and Buffy slipped quietly out of the bed, hoping she could at least start getting ready without him.

Only to cry out in pain and crumple down to the floor.

Immediately, Spike was awake, searching the room for her. “Buffy?!”

“I’m down here,” Buffy said. She sighed. “My legs hurt. I… God, I think I actually can’t walk.”

Spike jumped out of the bed and ran to her, kneeling down to inspect her leg. “Do you need a doctor? Should I…”

Buffy held up her hand. She could just picture trying to tell a doctor she’d strained her legs from having too much sex… “No doctor. It’s not that bad. I mean, I think I could physically walk if I had to, the muscles are just really, really sore.”

Guilt flickered in Spike’s eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry.” Buffy laughed despite the ache in her legs. “You fucked me so good I can’t walk, Spike. Soo not something to get all angsty over.”

“But I hurt you. I keep doing that. I know I was too rough last night. I…”

Buffy held her finger up and touched it to his mouth. “Be quiet with all of that. Last night was amazing. I’ve already said I like you being rough, and I mean it. I came so hard last night…fuck.” She shook her head, trying to keep herself focused on the present and not turn into a puddle of goo from thinking about what he’d done to her the night before.

“I shouldn’t be…”

“Spike, I swear, if you turn into some gentle, Harlequin style lover, I am so leaving,” Buffy grumbled. “Would you just help me to the bed and get me my cell phone from my purse, please? I need to call in sick.”

“Yeah, sure,” Spike said, biting back anything else about her physical state. He picked her up and set her on the bed, fluffing up the pillows behind her and tucking the blankets around her. “Better?”

“Yes, much,” Buffy said with her bright smile that always made him feel as if his heart was beating again. “Cell phone?”

“Right. I’ll be right back, lamb.” Spike kissed Buffy’s forehead, then walked over to the small table where she’d left her purse and looked for her cell phone. He found it quickly and brought it over to her.

“Thanks, honey,” Buffy said, still smiling at him. She didn’t want him to feel bad, nor did she want him to think he had to hold back or risk messing things up between them. She’d quickly gotten addicted to the intensity of their sexual relationship and couldn’t imagine things being any other way between them. She knew for Spike to be any gentler with her would mean he’d have to hold back, and that was the last thing she wanted.

“I am okay,” she assured him. “Really. So I’m a little sore. Totally worth it for how good you made me feel, Spike.”

“I like making you feel good, baby. I want to keep doing that. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” Buffy put her hand against his face and smiled at the way he nuzzled into her palm. “This is a little more sore than I wanted to be, but hey…I like it when you hurt me, Spike. I like it a lot.” She brought her hand down and smirked at him. “I want to rest up so you can hurt me again.”

“You really are okay with this, aren’t you, baby? With…with all of it…”

“I am. I don’t care what you are. And the things you do to me… I like them, Spike. I like it when you’re rough. I…I like it when you’re all growly and your eyes are yellow. I know you’re never going to hurt me too much.”

“How can you know that?” Spike asked, looking into her eyes. “How can you know that when even I’m not so sure?”

Buffy smiled at him again. “Because you love me.”

“That I do, sweetheart.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about at all. Now let me call work, and then I suppose I could let you pamper me for a while. You know, if it would make you feel better.”

Spike grinned at her. “It would make me feel much better, luv.”

Buffy’s insides trembled at the thought of Spike pampering her. Just another reason why she so couldn’t bring herself to be upset over her legs being sore. She turned on her cell phone and hoped this call could be quick.

*** *** ***

Aside from the act that had gotten her in this situation in the first place, Buffy didn’t think she’d ever felt anything so good in her life. Spike had helped her into his big, Jacuzzi tub and was now soaking with her, his strong hands massaging her sore muscles as the water bubbled around them. He’d lit several candles as well, perfuming the room with a soft, calming fragrance.

Spike definitely knew how to pamper.

“Is this helping, sweetheart?” he asked as he pulled her back up against his chest and kneaded the tight knot in her shoulder.

“Mmm…” Buffy replied, too relaxed to be overly coherent. “’S very nice.” She smiled, her eyes shut as she just let herself feel. “You’re a good boyfriend.”

His chuckle rumbled through her body, giving her shivers despite the warmth of the water. “I’m not being completely selfless, luv. I want you fixed up so I can go back to shagging you.”

Buffy giggled. “Again proving that you are, in fact, the horniest man ever.”

“I won’t deny that.”

“Well, selfish motives or not, this is good,” Buffy said. “Makes me wish I could stay like this forever.”

“Stay with me forever?” Spike asked, his hand ghosting over her thigh beneath the water.

“As good as you make me feel…yeah,” Buffy said, feeling languid and barely awake from the soak and Spike’s touch.

Spike swallowed, his eyes centering in on her pulsing jugular. It would be so easy to make just that happen. All he’d have to do was drink and let her drink from him in return. He could keep her then, make her his for all eternity, the way he’d been Drusilla’s. She wouldn’t have to worry about Riley, or her job, or human muscles that couldn’t take the strain of days of lovemaking…

His demon roared to be let to the surface, his eyes flickering gold. He could make her his before she even knew what was happening...

And kill her in the process.

It was the last thought that snapped Spike out from the moment. He shook his head, forcing his demon to stay back. He couldn’t allow himself to truly be that selfish, to take Buffy’s life from her just because he wanted it all. She’d shown a definite reluctance towards the idea when she’d first found out the truth, and despite what she’d just said, he really doubted she’d changed her mind. A half-awake, romantic uttering was not a request to be turned – something Spike knew many other vampires had learned the hard way and not a mistake he was going to make with Buffy.

Still, now the idea was too prominent in his mind, along with thoughts of how beautiful her demon face would be and how good it would feel to have her fangs in his flesh, to allow her to drink from him, too, when they made love.

He got up from the tub suddenly, making Buffy’s eyes dart open as she looked at him in surprise. “Where are you going?”

“You’ve got to be getting hungry, luv, and I don’t have any food in the house. I should call someplace for delivery. Is it too early for pizza? What do humans eat at this hour anyway? I could get sandwiches… There’s a good sandwich place around here that delivers.”

“Spike, is everything okay?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. You just need to eat. It’ll get your strength back up.” He rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Buffy alone in the water.

She leaned back on the tub, a frown on her face. Something was definitely up with Spike more than him thinking she needed lunch, and she started going over in her mind what it could possibly be.

The weirdness had started right after she’d started talking about “forever.”

For Spike, being together forever wasn’t just a figure of speech or a romantic notion, something she hadn’t been thinking about when she said it. If they really wanted to be together forever, they could be – only from the way Spike darted out of there, she felt like maybe he didn’t.

Did he only love her because he knew it was, relative to his lifespan at least, a fleeting thing? Did he love her enough to be willing to spend her human life with her, but balked at the idea of anymore of a commitment than that? That hadn’t seemed like the case before, but maybe now…

Was he upset because he’d seen how weak she could be today? Was he starting to see a downside to loving her? Was he afraid this would happen often and he wouldn’t be having sex with her as regularly as he wanted? He’d had an erection the whole time they’d been in the tub. Was he upset with her because he wanted sex now and she wasn’t giving it?

And what if this did keep happening to her? She told him she didn’t want him to stop the rough sex and she’d meant it, but what if she couldn’t physically keep up with it and he had to stop on account of her weakness? While there was a definite emotional component to what they had, so much of their relationship had been based on their physical connection. If they had to change that, would his feelings for her change as well?

Buffy felt a tear slip down her cheek as her fears that she wouldn’t be enough for him grew. Would he grow tired of her and seek a stronger, more durable lover?

Would he go back to wanting a vampire? And if he did, would he want that vampire to be her, or someone else? And would she even want to be a vampire in order to allow their relationship to continue?

She tried to get out of the tub, only to give up when he legs hurt too much for her to be able to pull herself up. Her tears turned into ones of frustration, and she hated feeling so helpless and weak. She wanted to be strong enough to Spike. She wanted to be his equal.

Spike walked back into the bathroom and immediately saw the tears on her cheeks. “Luv, are you okay?” he asked as he rushed to the side of the tub.

“I can’t get out,” she said, loathing the pathetic sound of her own voice.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” Spike said as leaned in to help her out, not caring as water splashed onto the jeans he’d just put on. He wrapped her up in a large, thick towel and held her against his chest. “I wasn’t going to leave you in there, kitten. I promise.”

“I know, it’s just that I’m all weak, and I can’t…” Buffy tried to force herself to stop sniffling. “I’m sorry I’m so pathetic, Spike.”

“Pathetic? How are you pathetic?”

“I hurt myself having sex,” she said, her voice small.

“Happens to the best of us, baby,” Spike said before kissing the crown of her head.

“Yeah, but if you were with another vampire, you’d probably be able to have sex right now, and I’m just keeping you from getting laid.”

“Is this about what I said in the tub? Because I was joking, kitten. Really. I’m perfectly content just holding you. There doesn’t always have to be sex.”

“It’s not that. It’s just…” Buffy sniffed. “You ran out of here so fast, and I thought I must be upsetting you or something.”

“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Spike assured her, tightening his arms around her. “Not at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Are you done with the bath now?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s get you all settled in the bed then. The food should be here soon, and hopefully, that will make you feel better, too.”

Buffy nodded against his chest and let him carry her into the bedroom.

*** *** ***

Please review.

Buffy was feeling better already. Spike had been right about her needing something to eat, and she decided to just write off what she’d thought was him being distant to him worrying about her. He certainly wasn’t being distant now. After she’d eaten, he’d helped her back into bed, then cuddled up beside her, seeming perfectly content that he had to find something to do with her other than sex.

Instead, he’d started talking, and Buffy now found herself listening in rapt fascination as he told her stories of the places he’d been and the things he’d seen in his long life. Things she’d once thought of as only relegated to history books came alive for her as he accounted them firsthand, and she curled up against his chest, feeling the rich baritone of his voice rumble through her as she listened.

“I’m not boring you, pet?” Spike asked eventually, wondering if her silence was a sign that she didn’t want to talk at all.

Buffy shook her head. “No. Far from it, actually. Although I think I am a little jealous.”

“Jealous?” Spike asked with a frown. “How so?”

“You’ve just done so much, seen so much. I’ve only left California a handful of times. And I’ve definitely never seen Europe.”

Spike frowned harder. “Now that’s a bloody shame, luv.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy muttered in response.

Spike threaded his fingers through her hair, waiting a moment before he asked, “Do you think you’d let me show you sometime?”

“Show me what?” Buffy asked. “Europe?”

“The world, if you’d let me,” Spike replied.

Buffy looked up and met his eyes and, for a moment, wondered if there was more to his question than a desire to take her on vacation. Did he want her to see the world the way he had? And if so, did she want to let him?

It surprised her that a part of her really did. She didn’t know if it was simply a romantic notion or a product of her dissatisfaction with her current life, but she couldn’t say she was completely turned off by the idea of letting Spike make her like him. It would make things simpler, wouldn’t it? Vampires didn’t have to deal with things like stalkerish ex-husbands…

But then was she oversimplifying things? Was she basing the existence of a vampire on what she’d seen in movies? Spike said before he’d met her, he’d been lonely. Would she be cursing herself to a lonely existence by being what he was? While the idea of spending an eternity with someone sounded romantic, would it be so good in the long run? She’d only known Spike for a little over a week. What if she decided now to try for eternity with him only to have the relationship collapse? And furthermore, he’d already told her that the vampire he’d been with in the beginning had died, so Buffy knew vampires weren’t completely immortal. What if she asked Spike to turn her and then he was gone? Could she take that risk? Did she want to?

No, she realized. She didn’t. And romantic as eternity sounded, she was practical enough to know that making that leap would be insane and that the chances of it ending well were very, very small. She couldn’t turn her entire life into something else because of a man she’d only just met. It was a crazy risk to take and one she knew she wasn’t ready for.

Yet when she answered him, she found herself saying, “Maybe. Someday.”

Spike caught the look in her eyes and knew where her thoughts had strayed. “It doesn’t have to only be like that, luv. I can still take you away, just like you are now.”

Buffy felt the aching in her legs and wondered if he really could. “I know.”

“I mean it, Buffy. I wouldn’t love you any more than I already do if you were like me. I’m happy with you, the way things are now.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Spike asked, his brown wrinkling.

Buffy lowered her gaze from his, though she nestled herself closer against his chest. “Just tell me more about your life, okay? I liked that.”

Reluctantly, Spike agreed, though he knew the conversation they kept skirting around was not one they could avoid having forever.

*** *** ***

Spike wasn’t surprised when Buffy decided to go to work the next morning, nor did he try to stop her. She was still limping somewhat as she moved around the room to get ready, though she seemed to be in better shape than she had been the previous morning.

However, when he noticed her going towards the door without saying a word to him, Spike did speak up. “Are you coming back tonight, luv?”

Buffy turned quickly towards the bed, visibly startled. “I thought you were asleep.”

Spike shook his head. “I woke up when you did.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s all right. You weren’t loud or anything. I think it was just an automatic response to the loss of your warmth.” Spike held his arm out towards her. “Can I at least have a good bye kiss?”

He worried that she’d say no, that the distance her soreness had put between them the day before would grow into something more. Spike knew it might only be paranoid, but he spent so much of his time with her on edge, terrified that she would decide she didn’t want to be with a man as different as he was, that she wanted something better for herself.

She eased his fears when she came back to the bed and climbed over to him, kissing him with enough tenderness and passion to make him tremble. “I wasn’t trying to sneak out on you,” she assured him, as if able to read the worries behind his eyes. “I just didn’t want to wake you up. This is like, the middle of the night for you.”

Spike caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I appreciate the sentiment, luv, but I’ll never mind getting woken up by you.”

Her smile was the blinding one he adored so much, the one that made him think maybe she had as much of her heart invested in this as he did. “Good to know.”

He took her hand, felt the steady beat of her pulse beneath his fingertips. “When do you get off from work?”

“Five-thirty, though I have a lunch break at one. I couldn’t stay more than half an hour, but if you wanted, I could come by then, too.” Buffy’s grin turned mischievous. “Maybe see if my legs are up for a quickie.”

Spike grinned back at her. “I can definitely say I like that idea, kitten.” He gave her another kiss. “Have a good day at work, luv. Play nice with the other corporate drones.”

Buffy hit him lightly on the back of his head. “Ass.” Spike just chuckled, and she shook her head as she kissed his forehead. “I really like you,” she told him softly.

Her admission made Spike pull back and look at her, wanting to read between the lines and hear something else. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Buffy replied. “I…I should be getting to work now. I don’t want to be late.”

Spike nodded, understanding. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I know you do.” Buffy slid her hand away from his and got off the bed. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Spike.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Spike replied, his voice full of sensual promise.

Knowing if she didn’t leave now she’d never be able to, Buffy hurried into the elevator.

*** *** ***

The morning seemed to drag on forever, and by the time one o’clock rolled around, Buffy all but ran out of her office and down to her car. She dreaded even the fifteen minute drive to Spike’s, and wished she’d never gotten out of bed that morning at all. Her sore muscles may have only put her out of commission for a day, but that had been a day Buffy had spent without Spike inside of her, and that was too long.

As soon as she reached Spike’s, she rushed out of her car and into the building, her focus solely on the man waiting for her inside and not at all on her current surroundings. She trembled as she waited for the elevator to open, and as soon as it did, she found Spike waiting there for her, dressed in nothing but his jeans, his chest bare.

Buffy flung herself into his arms. Her legs still ached some, but not enough for her to care – and certainly not enough to keep her from what she wanted.

“Can I?” Spike asked, his body shaking with barely-contained passion.

“You better,” Buffy replied. “I feel like I could die if I don’t have you inside me right now.”

Spike growled in response as he kissed her, moving her towards the bed as he did. As soon as she was against the mattress, he pushed her skirt up to her hips, a grin spreading across his face when he saw she’d once again skipped the panties. “I love it when you’re bare underneath your clothes, luv,” he told her, running one long finger along her slit.

“I knew it would be a waste to wear them,” Buffy replied, her tone teasing though her gaze was lustful. “They’d just get ruined if I spent all day thinking about coming home to you.”

“Then you were a smart girl not to wear them. And smart girls get rewarded.” Spike dove down between her legs, pushing his fingers inside of her as his tongue worked against her clit, the taste of her desire already strong. Buffy moaned his name, any thoughts of sore muscles long gone as she clamped her thighs around his head and grabbed hold of his hair.

With his face pressed against her dripping pussy, Spike grinned. He’d live off this if he could, the flavor of her juices sweeter than any blood he’d ever known. He drank greedily, not stopping as Buffy spasmed around him, shouting her pleasure as her fingers tangled tighter in his hair, her fingernails scratching his scalp.

When she fell limp around him, Spike slid up Buffy’s body, licking his lips in satisfaction. Buffy was panting and flushed, and Spike was certain he’d never seen a woman look so gloriously debauched as she did right then. “Enjoy that, sweetheart?” he asked, his tone teasing, letting her know he knew the answer as well as she did.

“Uh huh.” Buffy lifted her hand to beckon him closer, but flashed him an apologetic look as she noticed a few strands of platinum blond hair between her fingertips. “Sorry, honey.”

Spike shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for. I like making you lose control. Gets me all hard.”

“Then you must be really hard right now,” Buffy said, her hand sneaking down to cup his erection. “Yep, I was right.”

Spike groaned, panting heavily as she opened his jeans, pulled his cock into her hands, and began to stroke him. “Achingly hard, kitten. Desperate to be inside you.”

Buffy tugged gently on his cock, guiding him towards her entrance. It was all the invitation he needed, and Spike moved over her, careful not to stress her legs too much as he spread them apart to make room for his body. “Comfortable enough, luv?” he asked softly.

“Yeah. I’m good,” Buffy replied. Her lips curled up in a sly smile. “But I’ll be even better when you’re making me scream your name.”

Spike shivered. He’d be better then, too… He dropped a quick kiss on her forehead, then pushed inside of her body, groaning as he was enveloped by her wet heat. He didn’t think he’d ever been with a woman who got as wet as her, allowing him to slide easily in and out of her despite the fact she was vise-tight.

It didn’t take long before she was screaming his name just like she’d said she wanted to, and Spike groaned, speeding up the movements of his hips. She was also the most vocal woman he’d ever been with, even if her vocalizations tended to be more screams and moans than actual words. But the sounds she made were enough to spur him on, to let him know beyond any doubt that she loved this.

She dug her fingernails into his forearms a second before her pussy began to contract, growing even tighter as her internal walls fluttered around him, caressing him in a way that never failed to drive him wild. He didn’t try to fight his release, wanting to join her in pleasure, fall with her over that peak.

Panting, he fell against her chest, a small sound of contentment vibrating in the back of her throat as her hand stroked his hair. He nuzzled against her neck, breathing in the scent of her skin, tainted with him.

“I’m never going to change how I feel about you, Buffy,” he murmured. “It’s too strong to stop.”

Buffy wrapped her arms tighter around him, knowing she wasn’t going to make it back to work before the end of her lunch break, but unable to care.

*** *** ***

Riley sat in his car in the parking lot across from the building he’d watched Buffy enter, his patience wearing thin. He hadn’t known where she’d been headed when he’d followed her out of the parking lot of her office building, but he’d hoped she’d been going to see her “boyfriend” – and given the time she was spending inside, he suspected he’d been right.

When she finally came downstairs, he could see even from where he was that her hair was rumpled, and she carried her shoes in her hands. Anger flared inside of Riley, his rage directed at the man who would dare to touch his wife. Buffy had vowed to be his forever, and she couldn’t just take that back now. They were going to work things out, and he needed to realize that – and stop bringing other men’s wives into his bed.

Once Buffy was gone, Riley drove across the street, his hands shaking as he gripped the steering wheel. This affair of Buffy’s was going to stop now – Riley would make sure of it.

And when it did, Buffy would come to her senses and remember who she belonged to.

*** *** ***

Comments anyone?

“Oh my god, you are such a slut.”

Buffy only smirked at Anya as she leaned forward towards the bathroom mirror and finished re-applying her make-up. “Yeah, like you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you had a man like Spike waiting in bed for you.”

“So not the point,” Anya grumbled.

“Then what is your point?”

“That you’re rubbing it in my face that you’re getting sex and I’m not,” Anya replied, her voice rising in pitch as she stomped her foot. “It’s very unfair.”

Buffy put the cap back on her lipstick and dropped it into her purse. “Hey, I had to sleep with Riley for seven years. I think I deserve some good sex.”

Anya thought about that for a moment before she sighed. “Okay, fine. You have you’re own point there. But I’m still insanely jealous.”

“Fair enough.” Buffy turned towards Anya. “So how obvious is it that I…”

“Had yourself a little afternoon delight?” Anya supplied for her. “Very. You’ve got total JBF hair, for one thing.”

“Yeah, I tried to work on that, but Spike has very busy fingers.”

Anya shrugged. “At least it’s hot JBF hair. It just makes you look all sultry.”

Buffy chuckled. “Okay, good.”

“You’re also limping,” Anya added, a definite tinge of petulant jealousy in her voice. “But you’ve been doing that all day. Did you skip work yesterday because he fucked you so hard you couldn’t get out of bed? And just so you know, if you say yes, I will have to go out tonight and pick up the first guy who buys me a drink.”

“Well, you better head out to someplace that’s got hot guys then, because yes.”

“Frick,” Anya said, stamping her foot again. “So where did you find Spike?”

“The Bronze,” Buffy replied with a laugh.

“Really? Usually the guys there are so lame. Or, you know, twelve.” Anya looked down for a moment before she glanced back up at Buffy. “Do you know if maybe there’s some other vampires there?”

Buffy’s eyes widened before she said quickly, “I already told you, Anya, Spike isn’t a vampire. And no.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She shrugged. “It’s cool. With my luck, I’d probably just end up being lunchmeat anyway. So are you thinking about letting him turn you?”

“Anya!” Buffy exclaimed, coughing. She was glad they were the only two people in the bathroom. “No!”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s not a vampire,” Buffy said, though she didn’t even sound all that convincing to herself.

Anya pointed to Buffy’s neck. “That isn’t a hickey, Buffy. Those are very definite puncture wounds. So unless Spike likes to do something kinky with a barbecue fork, you’re banging the undead.”

Buffy blushed and looked away. “Can we just not talk about this?”

“Personally, I think the whole idea of spending eternity with someone is very romantic,” Anya said, as if Buffy hadn’t said anything at all. “You know, if it’s someone who’s as good at giving orgasms as Spike seems to be. I’d totally let him make me his eternal undead love slave.”

“It’s not that simple, Anya,” Buffy replied, though she wished it could be.

“I don’t see why not. I mean, for one thing, you’d have superhuman strength, right? You wouldn’t have to be all limpy.”

Buffy shifted uncomfortably, wishing Anya would just let the subject drop. This was not usual office watercooler gossip. “Look, Anya, I’ve only known the guy for like, a week and a half. I’m not quite ready for an eternal commitment.”

“Suit yourself,” Anya said with a shrug. “I should get back to work anyway. Snyder’s been riding my ass about those damn reports. Miserable little troll-man. He’s someone who seriously needs to get laid. I mean, if there was a woman in the world desperate enough to actually touch him.”

Buffy smirked a little at that. “I’ve got work to do, too. I, um, haven’t been quite as productive today as I wanted to be.”

“Uh huh,” Anya replied with an arched eyebrow. “Hussy.”

Buffy chuckled. “Right now, I’m really not going to argue with that one.”

Anya smirked at her before she left the bathroom, and while Buffy started to follow her right out, she stopped and checked her reflection one more time instead. The marks on her neck did look pretty bad – worse than they had when she’d first started sleeping with Spike. Was that the combined effect of all the times he’d bitten her? And if it was, was it just going to get worse? Spike had been able to lick the wounds closed to keep her from bleeding out during sex, but what if all the biting was doing more damage than that?

Buffy got the feeling Spike had never taken a human as a long-term lover before. Did he even know what frequent vampire bites would do to a human? She put her hand against the wound, wincing when she realized it was sore to the touch.

Was sharing Spike’s bed putting her in more danger than she realized? She still didn’t believe Spike would hurt her on purpose, but what if he didn’t know he was doing something that could seriously damage her? What would happen if one of these days, he couldn’t get the bleeding to stop? Or he got too into what they were doing and tore something in her neck? Or her inner thigh? He’d bitten her there a couple of times, and she knew it was possible to bleed out from the femoral artery in a matter of minutes.

Buffy didn’t want to give up what she had with Spike and she didn’t want him to have to hold back with her, but she couldn’t help but wonder if what she was doing was overly foolish. Was it worth risking her life just to be with a man?

And if not, then what were her other options – and was she willing to take them?

She turned away from the mirror, unwilling to allow herself to think about this anymore now. If it was an issue, well…she didn’t think it was pressing right now. She could think about it later, when her head was clearer. Right now, she should just focus on the job she’d been sorely neglecting.

Determined to shift her focus, Buffy went back to her desk.

*** *** ***

Spike knew as soon as he heard someone coming up the elevator that it wasn’t Buffy. His body tense and on alert, he found his jeans at the end of the bed and put them on, managing to get the last button snapped before the elevator doors slid open.

His eyes narrowed at his unwelcomed visitor, and Spike fought to reign in his demon, forcing the beast to merely howl beneath the surface. “Finn,” he said, his voice clipped. “Should’ve known you’d manage to find me. What did you do, stalk Buffy?”

“I did what I had to to protect my marriage,” Riley replied as he stepped into Spike’s apartment.

“You should’ve thought a little more about protecting your marriage before you fucked whores, you tosser,” Spike growled. Then, a slow, predatory grin spread across his face as he stuck his thumbs into his beltloops. “Although I have to say, I’m grateful to you for being such a stupid arse. Buffy’s one hell of a woman.”

“She’s my woman,” Riley snapped.

“Yeah, I’m thinking not so much,” Spike replied. “Not anymore. You gave her up, and I found her, made her mine.” His grin widened, and if Riley had any sense at all, he would’ve been backing up. “Marked her inside and out, I did.”

“Look, asshole, I don’t know what you think is going to happen between you and my wife, but I’m here to give you one more chance. Get out of Buffy’s life before I have to take you out of it myself.”

The grin fell from Spike’s face, morphing into something much darker, more sinister. His eyes narrowed and he took a step forward, managing to look imposing despite being much smaller than the other man. “That’s not your call. It’s Buffy’s. She wants me in her life, and that’s where I’m going to be. You’re the one who isn’t welcome.”

Riley glared at Spike for a moment, as if debating his course of action. When he finally moved, he proved he hadn’t put as much thought into it as he should have.

He grabbed Spike by his shoulders and spun him around, holding him against the wall with his forearm pressed beneath Spike’s chin. “Look, you little shit, I really don’t think you’re as tough as you think you are – and I’m certainly not going to back down just because you’ve got a bad attitude. Buffy is my wife. She promised to honor and obey only me. And I don’t care who or what you think you are, you can’t change that.”

Riley leaned in, his face inches away from Spike’s. “And it doesn’t matter what you do, she’s not going to stay in your bed. She’ll see what she really needs and come back to mine soon enough.”

At that, the demon had had enough. It was bad enough that this oaf had barged into his home and threatened him, but for the worthless bastard to claim he would take the demon’s chosen mate from his bed? No one was going to lay his hands on that woman but Spike. No one.

Spike roared as the bones in his face shifted and his fangs broke through his gums. He broke free of Riley’s grip with ease and pushed the larger man backwards, sending him careening onto the floor. “You’ll never touch her again,” he snarled, his voice filled with inhuman rage.

Riley scrambled backwards on the floor, looking up at Spike in shock. “What the hell are you?”

“I’m the man Buffy chose,” Spike replied, his yellow eyes flashing as he stared Riley down. “Now get out before I really lose my temper.”

“You’re…you’re a monster!” Riley yelled as he got to his feet, stumbling slightly as he did. “You…you’ve done something to Buffy, haven’t you? That’s why she wants you and not me!”

Riley’s accusation gave Spike pause, the sheer absurdity of it pulling him temporarily out of his rage. He shook his head, his human features taking shape again. “Yeah, that’s it. I had to put Buffy in some sort of thrall for her not to want your precious self.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re so deluded it’s really pathetic.”

“You can’t have her…you…you freak!” Riley replied before charging at Spike, knocking him back against the wall. Spike’s demon immediately rose back to the surface, and he blocked Riley’s next attack, doing everything he could to keep the other man back without actually hurting him.

It wasn’t easy. Spike wanted nothing more than to tear Riley’s over-inflated head from his beefy body, but he tried to keep Buffy in the front of his mind, reminding himself that while her marriage may be over, she still probably wouldn’t be too happy about Spike murdering her husband. However, Riley kept coming, not knowing when to simply give up. He came at Spike with everything he had, even as sweat broke out on his face and he panted from the exertion.

Spike was certain he could keep this up all afternoon if he had to, though he was already bored with it. Riley couldn’t seem to figure out he was no match for Spike, despite the difference in their sizes.

Until Riley caught a lucky break. Spike miscalculated by only a fraction, giving Riley just enough time to grab him again, this time throwing him towards the window. Spike’s hands tangled in the blackout curtains, bringing them down, and he let out a yell as the sun hit him, burning his bare arm and chest. Quickly, he rolled out of the way of the light, but not before Riley realized what had happened.

“What, you’re like a vampire?” Riley asked, his expression making it clear that he didn’t seem to believe he could really be seeing what he was seeing. “Does sunlight kill you?”

Spike glared, the burn on his arm making him all the more angry, and said nothing.

Riley charged at Spike, tackling him and pushing him back towards the sun. Spike struggled to stay out of it, but Riley took advantage of Spike’s sudden vulnerability and pushed his head into the rays, holding him there as the sun scorched the side of his face.

Spike grit his teeth in pain, fighting to keep it together. He took a deep breath then rolled, kicking Riley off him before he jumped away from the sun.

Riley jumped up, yelling as he charged Spike, preparing to knock him full-body back into the sunlight. Spike was faster, however, and he knocked Riley down instead, falling with him to the ground and pinning him beneath him. The pain and anger he felt enraged his demon even further, and Spike roared before he lowered his head, his fangs ripping into the larger man’s neck, savagely tearing the flesh.

It took only a few moments for Riley to stop struggling, and when Spike pulled away, the eyes staring up at him were lifeless.

*** *** ***

I know you’ve got to have something to say about that chapter… C’mon…leave a review. *wink*

Buffy could kill Snyder. All she wanted to do was get home to Spike, but her rat-faced boss had insisted the large stack of reports he’d dropped on her desk at four be ready for him first thing in the morning. Jackass…

She’d tried calling Spike to tell him she’d be getting home late, but there’d been no answer at his apartment. She shrugged it off, reminding herself that he was very much an adult and didn’t have to ask her permission before he went out. Instead, she put her focus completely on the reports, wanting to get them done as soon as possible so she could get back home to her man.

It was nearing nine o’clock when her cell phone rang, and Buffy jerked up from the stack of papers she’d been pouring over, the sound seeming too loud in the otherwise silent office. It took her a moment to place what it was, but when she did, she fished the phone out of her purse and flipped it open, fully expecting to hear Spike’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. Finn? This is the Sunnydale Police Department.”

Buffy felt a lump rise in her throat, her heart beating faster as her mind raced to figure out why the police would be calling her. “This is…this is Mrs. Finn.”

“Ma’am, we’d like you to come down to the station immediately.”

“Is…is there something wrong?” Buffy still couldn’t come up with a reason why the cops would be calling her, especially now that they were calling her Mrs. Finn. Had Riley done something? “Does this have to do with my husband?” she asked.

“I think it would be best if we had this conversation in person, ma’am,” the officer replied. “If you need it, we could send someone to pick you up.”

“No, I can drive myself. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Buffy replied. She still had no idea why she’d gotten this phone call, but she could tell by the sound of the man’s voice it was indeed very important.

“All right. Someone will be waiting for you at the front desk.”

The line went dead, and Buffy took a deep breath before closing her cell phone and putting it back in her purse. She grabbed her things and ran out of the office without preamble, unable to shake the sense of dread that accompanied her downstairs to her car.

*** *** ***

Buffy hurried into the police station, stopping only when she reached the front desk. A tall man in a suit stood beside it, and immediately, he stepped towards her. “Are you Mrs. Finn?”

“Yes, I’m…” She stopped. “I’m Buffy. What’s going on?”

“I’m Detective Gonzales. I’m going to need you to come with me, ma’am,” the man said.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on,” Buffy insisted.

Detective Gonzales seemed to soften slightly. “I’m afraid we found a body tonight. We believe it’s your husband. We need you to identify him.”

“A body?” Buffy asked, the detective’s statement seeming too unreal to be true. “As…as in a dead body?”

Detective Gonzales nodded grimly. “Yes.”

“I…” Buffy didn’t know what to say, the shock to heavy for her to shake. But maybe it wasn’t him at all. Maybe she’d go and look at the body, and it would be a stranger. “Okay.”

“I’ll need you to accompany me to the morgue.”

Buffy simply nodded as she followed the detective out to an unmarked police vehicle. The trip the morgue was short, but it seemed to stretch for her, as her mind contemplated what she’d find there – what she wanted to find there.

It wasn’t until she was standing over a cold, metal table, looking down at Riley’s body that it became real to her. The look on her face and the choked sob that emanated from her was all it took to tell Detective Gonzales the dead man was indeed Riley Finn. Buffy backed away from the table, shaking her head slowly. While she may have held a lot of anger and resentment towards Riley after the collapse of their marriage, she’d never wished him dead. There had been a time once when he’d made her happy…

Detective Gonzales nodded towards the medical examiner who slowly pulled the sheet back up over Riley’s face. The action brought Buffy’s attention back to the body again, and this time, her eyes flickered over his neck.

She only saw it for a moment before the sheet was back over him, but there was no mistaking what she’d seen. Buffy stumbled backwards, unable to breath, certain her heart was coming to a stop in her chest. Detective Gonzales caught her a moment before she hit the floor, and she sagged against him, tears she couldn’t stem falling down her cheeks. The detective held her up, his expression stoic as he let her cry.

“Would you like to sit down?” the medical examiner asked, making Buffy turn towards him suddenly, as if she’d forgotten he was there. As if maybe she’d forgotten where she was… “There’s a lounge… You could sit on the couch. Maybe have some coffee?”

“I…” Buffy tried to speak but couldn’t make sense of the thoughts in her head.

Detective Gonzales wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her towards the door, making her decision for her when he knew she wasn’t going to be able to do it on her own. “Come with me, Mrs. Finn. The lounge is in here.”

Buffy let him lead her to sit down, staring straight ahead until she felt him wrap her hands around a warm paper Styrofoam cup full of coffee. She gave him a small smile before she turned her attention to the coffee, staring at the black liquid. “Do…do you know what happened to him?” Buffy asked, her voice sounding weak, tired.

“Well, the wounds almost look like a wild animal, but there’s been a rash of similar killings in the neighborhood recently,” Detective Gonzales replied, taking a seat in a chair across from Buffy. “Only they’ve all been young women so we’re still looking into a few leads.” His eyes were trained on Buffy as he spoke, as if watching for her reaction.

It came in the form of her coffee cup falling from her hands and to the ground. The hot liquid splashed up, hitting Detective Gonzales in the leg. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Buffy said, jumping up and looking around wildly for towels, wanting to help him clean it up – wanting to do anything to get her mind off what she’d just heard.

“It’s fine,” Detective Gonzales insisted, finding the towels and cleaning up the mess himself. “You’ve had a long night.” He threw the coffee-stained paper towels and empty cup into the garbage can before approaching Buffy again. He retrieved his card from his pocket and handed it to her. “I’m going to take you back to your car now. But if you start thinking of anyone who would’ve done this to your husband, I want you to give me a call, all right?”

Buffy nodded numbly as she took the card, running her fingers over the slight relief of the print. What could she say? Hey, I think my husband might have been killed by the vampire I’m sleeping with?

She followed Detective Gonzales out in silence.

*** *** ***

Buffy sat in her car, her head buried in her hands as she sobbed, her body shaking. She’d managed to get a mile away from the police station before she’d had to stop and pull over, unable to go any further.

She didn’t know what to do. Part of her wanted to run to Spike and beg him to tell her it wasn’t true, that she had jumped to a crazy conclusion, but she knew that wouldn’t be the case. The mark on Riley’s neck had been too distinctive, and Buffy knew the odds of Riley somehow getting killed by another vampire were very, very slim.

But that wasn’t what had shaken her up the most. There could be an explanation for what had happened with Riley, even if Spike had killed him. She knew how her husband could be, and she knew how things could’ve escalated. It didn’t mean she was okay with it, but maybe…maybe if she talked to Spike, she could understand.

It was what Detective Gonzales had told her about finding women with similar wounds. Dead women. She could no longer ignore what Spike did when he fed. She’d known – part of her had always known – but it had been easy to pretend when it hadn’t been right in front of her face.

Buffy couldn’t pretend anymore. Her lover was a killer.

And what was more, he’d brought her home the first night to kill her.

The full weight of that had crashed down onto her shoulders, driving her to pull over to the side of the road, her tears coming out in choked sobs. The dreamlike state she’d drifted into when she met Spike was gone now, replaced by the harsh reality she’d tried so hard to fight against.

This wasn’t some fairytale anymore. Vampires were real, and she finally understood the full ramifications of that. And now that she did, her entire worldview was turned upside down, nothing seeming to fit in the places where it used to anymore. Suddenly, she knew what lurked in the shadows. She’d touched it.

Where could she go from here? Could she turn back around, pretend she’d never met Spike, never touched a world so different from her own? He’d taken her over completely, shown her things she’d never imagined before, made her feel things she hadn’t thought were possible. Would she ever be satisfied again? If she turned away from Spike, would it be like suddenly living in a world without color?

But on the other hand, how could she stay? How could she sleep next to Spike knowing he was a killer? She understood now in a way she hadn’t before what he really was. He’d told her before that her blood wasn’t enough for him and now she knew why. He needed to fully drain people to get enough. It was the food chain for him, and he was a different link than humans. She understood that, at least on a purely scientific level.

However, it was one thing to understand something. It was another thing entirely to be comfortable with it.

She knew herself well enough to know that no matter what she may feel for Spike, she wouldn’t be able to simply wave him off while he went to kill people. Even if it was what he had to do, she didn’t have it in her to be that Darwinian about the whole situation. People may be food to Spike, but to her, they were still people.

She couldn’t go back to what she had been – not now that she knew what she’d be missing. Yet she couldn’t stay where she was either – not now that she understood the truth.

So where did that leave her?

She could only go forward. But where?

Buffy pulled herself upright and gripped the steering wheel. She knew what she had to do, though she also realized the act smacked of desperation.

However, as she turned back onto the road, her tires screeching against the pavement, she didn’t care.

Buffy drove to Spike’s, parking her car outside his house before she ran into the building, refusing to take the time to think things through. Her old life felt gone now anyway, and she realized she really had nothing else to live for. All she had anymore was Spike, and unless she took the chance – took the leap – she wouldn’t have that anymore either.

All she could do was go forward…

She found him in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. The window was open, filling the room with moonlight, but Spike was in the shadows, his form barely visible. Buffy didn’t realize she’d said his name until he looked up, though his features were still hidden from her in the darkness.

“You…you know, don’t you?” he asked, his voice soft, breaking.

“Yes, I do.”

Spike leaned forward, the moonlight hitting him, and for the first time, Buffy saw the burns covering his body. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I…I tried not to, but he attacked me, and the sun… I’m so sorry…”

“Shh…” Buffy whispered as she approached the bed, feeling a sense of calm wash over her as she resigned herself to what she had to do. “It’s okay, Spike. It’s all going to be okay. I promise.”

“Buffy?” Spike asked softly as she straddled his lap, taking his face in her hands and kissing the burns, making him sigh softly against her. “I’m so sorry,” he said again as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing his hands against her back.

“I told you it’ll be okay,” Buffy replied as she brushed a kiss against his temple.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes, seeing the questions in them. Without hesitation, she answered them.

“I want you to turn me.”

*** *** ***

Reviews?

“I want you to turn me.”

For a moment, all Spike could do was stare at her, his body still as he tried to process what he’d just heard. She couldn’t have said…

He looked up, found her eyes in the darkness, and knew that she had.

Spike jumped up from the bed, moving away from her, his hands in front of him. “Buffy, no. No. You…you don’t want this. I don’t want this.”

Buffy looked at him, hurt clear in her expression. “You…you don’t want me like that?”

“No, but not for why you’re thinking,” Spike replied, shaking his head as he spoke. “It…” He paused, trying to find the words to talk her out of this. She didn’t know what she was asking for… “Turning isn’t like how you think.”

“I don’t care,” Buffy said, taking a step towards him. “I don’t care what it’s like, I don’t care what you have to do to me, or what it makes me become. I just want you to do it.”

“Buffy, listen to me. You’re not thinking clearly,” Spike argued. “What happened with Riley… You’re upset.”

“I am upset, but it’s not…it’s not just Riley. If it was just Riley, I…I think maybe I could learn to understand,” Buffy tried to explain, wanting him to know why this was what she had to do. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I’m sure he wasn’t passive in the whole thing. The way he’s been acting recently…those burns on you… You could give me a reason, an excuse, and I would believe you.”

Buffy stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath to help her through the rest of what she had to say. “But it wasn’t just Riley, was it, Spike? The…the police said tonight that Riley’s wounds matched ones they’ve been finding on dead girls in the area. You did that, too, didn’t you? You…you kill when you feed.”

“I never said I didn’t. You may have assumed I didn’t, but I never said it. It’s…it’s what I am, Buffy,” Spike argued, though he knew he’d known all along what she’d chosen to believe and had done nothing to correct her before.

“I know. I understand that now.” She moved closer to him, joining him in the moonlight. Though Spike could see tears shining in her eyes, her face was calm, almost stoic. As if she had resigned herself to a fate. “That’s why I need you to do this.”

Spike took hold of her arms, touching her for the first time since she’d made her terrible request of him. “Buffy, listen to me. I turn you, and you’re no longer you. Not like you are now anyway. Your soul will be gone and there will be a demon in its place. The way you feel, the way you see things – it’s all going to change. You’re going to change.”

“I know,” Buffy replied, though she swallowed hard. “I…I want to change.”

Spike gave her a heartbreaking smile and ran his knuckles softly over her cheek. “But I don’t want you to change, luv.”

Buffy reached up and took his hand, bringing it away from her face but keeping it wrapped in hers. “I have to, Spike. I can’t go back to who I was before I met you, and…” She stopped, the tears that had been forming coming in earnest now. “I can’t stay with you like I am. I…I tried to pretend that you weren’t what you are, but I’ve seen it now. It’s too real now, and I can’t… I can’t be with you and be who I am now. I can only be with you if I’m like you. If you don’t do this, you’re going to lose me, Spike.”

“I’ll lose you if I do,” Spike replied, pulling his hand from hers. “You’ll be different. You won’t want me anymore. You won’t care about me anymore.”

“Yes, I will,” Buffy insisted. “I know I will, Spike.”

“No, you don’t know that. You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know how it changes you – what it turns you into.”

“But you can still love, right?” Buffy asked. “You…you love me, so…so you can still love.”

He looked down, though Buffy saw the signs of a painful memory flickering in his eyes. “Sometimes.”

Buffy moved close to him again, taking one hand back in hers and placing her other hand against his cheek. “I’ll still love you, William. I know I will.”

He turned sharply at her declaration, searching her face. “You…you love me?”

Buffy nodded, stroking his face with her thumb, the gentle touch reinforcing her words. The realization had surprised her, but she knew it was true all the same. Even after learning the truth about what he was, her heart still ached with a need to be with him. “I do. I know…I know it’s fast, and it’s crazy, but…but I know I love you, too. I wouldn’t be standing here asking you for this if I didn’t love you – if I didn’t think you were worth taking a chance on forever. But I also realized today that we can’t go on like this. I’m not a part of your world, and you’re not a part of mine. And…and since you can’t step back into the light with me, then the only choice I have is to go into the dark with you.”

“I don’t want to do this to you, Buffy,” he said, though she could hear in his voice that he was giving in – or maybe giving up.

“I know. But we don’t have a choice anymore.”

“It’s really the only way I can keep you?” Spike asked, his voice small.

She knew what this was doing to him, could see how deeply what she was asking of him hurt him, but… “Can you think of another?” Buffy asked softly.

For a long moment, Spike was still and silent before he finally shook his head. “No.”

Buffy pushed her hair back, exposing her neck, already marred by his fangs, to the pale moonlight. “Then do it. Please, Spike. I need you to.”

Spike pulled her into his arms and lowered his mouth to her neck. He lingered there, his lips against his old marks before he let out a choked sob. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Buffy… I can’t. I can’t.”

Buffy ran her hand up his back and into his hair, gently holding him there at her neck. “It’s okay, William. It’s okay. I promise you, it’s all going to be okay.”

He shook his head against her skin, his body feeling nearly limp against hers. Buffy stroked the back of his hair, cooing softly against him. Eventually, he stood up straight and met her eyes again, deciding to try a final time to talk her out of this. “You don’t know what my world is like, Buffy. You…you don’t know how to live in it.”

“Then you’ll show me.”

He shook his head again, wanting to deny the entire moment. “You…you’re so warm, Buffy. You’ll lose that. You’ll be dead.” He looked down at the ground, away from her eyes. “You’ll be dead like me.”

Buffy reached out and touched his face, guiding him to look at her again. “You’re not dead when you’re with me, Spike. We…we won’t be dead as long as we’re together.”

He trembled against her hand. “Buffy…”

“Will…will you still love me like that?” she asked softly.

“Yes. I… Nothing could make me stop loving you. Nothing.”

“Then we’ll have each other.” She stepped closer to him and pressed her lips against his ear. “You’ll never be alone again.”

He shook against her and let out a soft, strangled cry. Buffy turned his face towards her and kissed him, pleading this time without words for him to let them take the only chance they had left anymore. When she felt his body loosen, his resistance slip away, she led him over to the bed, pulling him down with her on the mattress so his body lay over hers.

Spike pressed his face against her neck, breathing in her scent. He’d known from the moment she’d asked him to turn her that he was going to do it, even if he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to lose her, but the offer she was making – the chance to truly have her forever – was too tempting for him to pass up.

But the fear…the fear was still strong. He’d seen first hand how turnings could go wrong, and while his heart held onto the hope that when she opened her eyes for the first time as a vampire, they’d hold the same spark of love he saw in them now, he couldn’t find it in him to truly believe that would be the case. However, he also knew she was right when she said they couldn’t go back and they couldn’t continue on like nothing had changed. Not now that she knew everything.

Buffy wasn’t part of his world, and he certainly couldn’t live in hers. He’d proven that today. Their only chance was for him to bring her into his.

He wished he could make love to her now, to ease the pain and fear that came with turning. He wanted to sink inside of her and feel her warmth one last time, to listen to her rapid heartbeat and feel her pulsing all around him. He wanted to savor it all, to imprint it on his memory for when he woke without her heat. But he couldn’t, his body frozen with the horror of what he had to do and the fear of whom she would be when it was over.

Instead, he slid his hand up her skirt, his heart breaking as he remembered the last time he’d done this, only that afternoon. It seemed like a lifetime ago now, and he wished he could take it all back, have the afternoon to do over again so he could keep her just as she had been then. But it was too late now, and he shut his eyes tight, focusing on the task at hand instead of the aching in his chest.

He pumped two fingers inside of her as he rubbed her clit with his thumb, knowing just what to do to bring her rapidly towards orgasm despite her own mental distress. She clutched his forearm, tiny, choked gasps coming from her as she spiraled towards release. Spike wanted to detach himself from the moment, and he tried to perform the actions mechanically, thinking only about what was necessary to turn someone and not the person he was turning.

He heard her breath hitch, felt her clench tightly around his fingers, and he dove at her neck, biting hard and pulling deep. She screamed in a mix of pleasure and pain, and Spike tried to block it out as he drank until she hovered on the brink of death.

Yet when he pulled up, all detachment ceased. Buffy was staring at him with glassy, almost-lifeless eyes, her normally golden skin pale. He sobbed, shaking his head in denial of what he was seeing, of what he had done.

She tried to raise her hand towards him, but she was too weak, and it quickly fell back to the mattress. He stared at her, frozen, his entire body rebelling against finishing this. It was too late to go back now, but if he took the last step, would that only make things worse in the long run?

Then, she met his eyes, and though so much of the light was gone from then, they were still hers. Her mouth curved in a soft, small smile before she whispered one word.

William…

His whole body shuddered as he lifted his wrist to his mouth, his fangs slicing his own skin before he brought it to her lips. They parted, his blood running between them as she drank. Then, a sigh rattled through her body and her eyes closed.

The room grew silent, the comforting sound of her heartbeat coming to a stop.

Spike gathered her into his arms and wept.

*** *** ***

That chapter took a lot out of me to write, so feedback would really be appreciated.

She opened her eyes to a dark room, though she could still see, her vision acute even without light. She stretched, scanning the room as she sat up.

Her eyes settled on a figure at the end of the bed, and she smiled. “Hey there, handsome.”

Spike turned, startled to hear her voice. “Buffy… You’re…you’re awake.”

“Yeah, I’m awake.” She lifted her arms over her head, stretching more. “How long was I out?”

“Two…” Spike stopped and swallowed. “Two days. The longest two days of my life. I kept… I kept bein’ afraid you wouldn’t wake up.”

“Oh, honey,” Buffy said before crawling down the bed to him, wrapping her arms around him, and pulling his head down to rest on her shoulder. “I’m awake. And I’m fine. As a matter of fact, I feel good. Really good.” She nuzzled against his hair. “And I still love you.”

Spike lifted his head, needing to look into her eyes. “Do you, Buffy?”

She smoothed her hands over his face, smiling at him. “Yes. I told you I would, silly man.”

Spike had spent the past two days playing through different scenarios in his mind of how this could go, and never had it been this good. He’d feared the worst, imagined her panicking, full of fear or anger. Maybe both.

There had been some times when he’d thought she might not wake up at all…

Buffy straddled his waist, draping her arms over his shoulders. “It’s okay now, Spike. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m awake, and we’re together.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “You could try to be a little happier. It is my birthday, you know.” Spike looked up sharply at her and she winked. “Can I get even a little smile?”

“Are you really still you, kitten?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

“Yes. I’m all Buffy here.” An almost-wicked grin spread across her face. “I mean, yeah, I feel a bit stronger, but I’m still me. I’m just… I’m free.”

“Buffy…”

She silenced him with a kiss, tangling her tongue with his, showing him without words that she was still her…that she was still his. “Make love to me, Spike,” she whispered as she broke away. “You’ll know then.”

“Buffy…” Spike said again, no more than a whisper this time.

“Shh…” Buffy said as she pressed her finger against his lips, then led him back onto the bed, covering her body with his. She ran her hands along his skin, feeling his muscles tense. With a soft purr, she leaned in, licking and sucking at the side of his neck.

“God, I love you,” she said, the words coming out with a moan.

“Oh, sweetheart. Love you, too. Love you so much…”

“I know, baby. And we’re together now. We’re always going to be together. Forever, Spike.”

He gripped her hips, needing to feel her against his fingertips. She felt good. She felt real. He felt hope starting to bloom inside him, started to believe that maybe this could work out for them. “Are you really here with me, kitten?” he asked.

“I am,” Buffy promised, nipping against his neck one more time before she moved over and kissed his lips. This time, she felt his hunger in the kiss, felt him warming to her again. She smiled against him, knowing she’d made the right decision. She felt happier than she had in years, the weight life had placed on her shoulders finally lifted.

She didn’t have to worry about her failing marriage or a job that made her miserable. She didn’t have to worry about being alone, with no one to love her. All she had now was Spike, and she couldn’t seem to find a downside to that.

“I love you so much, Buffy,” he whispered against her, his mouth traveling from her lips to her neck, where he pressed soft kisses against the mark he’d left when he’d last bitten her. She moaned, then ground her hips against his as he began to suck the mark.

It had always felt good in the past when he’d given attention to his bite marks, but now… Buffy felt pleasure radiating through her body from his touch, but also a deep sense of being connected to the man under her. He’d changed her, created who she was now through a piece of himself, and through that act forged a bond with her deeper than she’d ever shared with anyone before.

And still, she needed more. She’d felt pulled towards him before, but now… She was desperate for the feel of him inside her body, to assure him with her touch that she was here, that nothing had changed for the worse – only the better.

She lifted her upper body, giving him a wink before reaching for his jeans, quickly unbuttoning his fly and pulling his cock out into her hands.

Spike braced himself for the first touch of her hands on his cock, wondering how different it would be now that she’d lost her natural human warmth. But fuck, her small hands felt as good as ever as they stroked him, only now he could feel her newfound strength as she held him tightly. He moaned loudly, thrusting up into her fist as the fear and hopelessness he’d felt since she’d first asked him to turn her slid away.

He knew now he hadn’t lost her. The way she kissed him, touched him. Everything was still there, just as it had been before. The need, the desire – the love.

Spike nudged her back and sat up, pulling off his own T-shirt before he set to work on hers, ripping the fabric of her blouse and throwing it to the ground. He’d left her in the same outfit while he’d waited for her to awaken, and now he didn’t want to see it anymore. He ripped her skirt as well before throwing it atop the ruined shirt. A quick tug and her bra was gone as well, leaving her completely bare in his arms.

She raised herself up on her knees long enough for him to slide his jeans down her legs, and the last barrier between them was removed.

They tumbled together back down to the mattress, limbs entwined as tongues and lips clashed. Spike rolled her beneath him, hiking her leg up around his hip before sliding into her, filling her in one hard stroke.

Buffy cried out, pushing her hips up to take him fully as her face changed for the first time, revealing the demon she’d become. Spike looked down, growing still as he looked into her golden eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, his voice soft and full of awe.

She smiled, the expression somehow seeming gentle, even with fangs. “Can I see you, too?” she asked, her hand reaching out to find his.

He gave into her request, and Buffy touched the ridges of her brow with her free hand, bringing Spike to nuzzle against her. He’d loved her as a human, had been addicted to her heat, the warmth of the blood surging through her. But he knew now as he looked down at her through demon eyes that she’d been right when she’d said this was the only way they could be together. She’d only known his world through movies and books, and he never would’ve been able to show her the way things were before.

He’d wished he could’ve kept her forever the way she was, but he accepted that he couldn’t. Still, he could see now that her eyes shown with love for him, be they green or golden, and he accepted what she had become – what she’d had to become for him.

“I love you,” he told her, and she knew the words held a different, deeper meaning than before. Whatever happened, whoever she was, he loved her.

“I love you, too.”

He started to move within her, wanting to keep the pace steady, to savor the moment, but the sensation of being with her now was too intense for him to remain controlled. For two days he’d been terrified he’d never feel this again, and now… She felt just as exquisite as she always had, the change doing nothing to take away the rapture he felt in her arms.

She moaned his name, clutching at his arms with bruising strength, and his thrusts grew in speed, bringing them both closer to the edge.

Moments before falling over that precipice, Buffy leaned up, and this time, it was her fangs in his throat. Pleasure crashed over Spike, the sensation more wonderful than anything he’d ever felt before, and he moaned her name before biting her as well, drinking for her as she drank from him.

Finally sated, they fell into each other’s arms, complete.

*** *** ***

That’s the end of this story. Completely the end – no sequels.

I know some people weren’t happy with my decision to have Spike turn Buffy, but that was what I intended from the moment I started writing this story. My intention was to take it away from typical Jossverse canon and present a vampire romance in keeping with a more classical approach to vampires and their relationships. I’ve always had a lot of problems with how vampires were portrayed on the show, mainly because what was said and then what was actually shown tended to be in direct contradiction to each other. But that’s something I could write an entire essay on, and that’s not something I really want to do in end notes, so I’ll just leave it at that for now.

However, I stand by my choice to write this story the way I did. And as for Buffy being “off-canon,” the entire story was off-canon. Personally, I think it’s impossible to write an “in-canon” Buffy who is not the Slayer. Once you take that away, almost every single choice she makes is going to be different because her entire world-view is different. She doesn’t have a sacred duty. She doesn’t have Council doctrine about vampires pounding in her head. She doesn’t have the memory of a “forbidden love” with Angel. She becomes, essentially, a different character. In writing this, I attempted to create a version of Buffy that was without all these things, but was still Buffy at the core, and I feel that character would be capable of making this choice.

I hope that even with the darker place I chose to take this story that, in the end, you enjoyed it. If you felt I took it too far and didn’t enjoy it, I’m sorry, but this is the story I wished to tell. I had some people tell me I should’ve put a warning at the beginning, but seeing as she didn’t become a vampire until the very end, I feel that would’ve been unfair to those readers who didn’t want the ending spoiled for them. So for the sake of people that don’t like to read the last page first, I did not put up “character death” or “vamp Buffy” warnings, and that’s a choice that I would make again, for the same reason I’ve listed here. (However, if in the future any reader is ever unsure or worried about where I plan to go with a story, I do respond to those sorts of inquiries privately, through email.)

Thank you to everyone who stuck through this story to the end, especially those of you who took the time to tell me what you thought of it. Every single review I received was appreciated and helped keep me inspired to write this through to the end.

~Addie Logan