Chapter 1

She fled, tears streaming down her face; she ran through the night, rain pouring, stinging her face as she ran. She was blinded by fear. The trees that lined the road grabbed and pulled at her with ragged arms trying to stop her retreat. Her heart ached for the knowledge of what she must do next; confront her past. But instead she decided to run. Soaked, she kept on going trying to reach the safety of her own home. She was wishing that he had never come back, hoping that he was just a figment of her imagination.

His memory stabbed at her, causing all her emotions to bleed into one; confusion, hurt, love and hate overwhelmed her, over and over she asked herself, chanting it in her mind ‘was there another woman? Or was it just me?’ Since he had gone she had become a shell, just moving and observing the world around her, never showing any emotions. The façade that she had built up was now lying shattered around her, she had isolated herself from her friends, and she had no one left but the masquerade that had become her life. Her eyes had once been vibrant and alive, pools of emerald green, swirling with mischief and innocence of a carefree girl in love. Now the emeralds have faded leaving nothing but a dull lifeless green in its wake. The girl she once was now gone; left the jaded woman.

Relief flooded her as she finally saw her house; there was no sign of him. Just as she was about to put the key in the door a hand cautiously touched her shoulder. Immediately her body tensed, her mind was screaming for her to run, ‘go now before he can hurt you again? But did he hurt me?’ He felt her tense the instant he had placed his hand on her shoulder, her body trying to work out what to do. As he dropped his hand slowly back to his side he saw her whole body relax as the tension flowed out of her. Anxiously he waited for her to play the next move.

She slowly turned around, and raised her eyes up the figure in front of her. Their eyes locked both full of pain and anguish; the tension grew. Tears started to well up in his eyes, briefly flickering with surprise as he saw her slowly start to lean towards him. He quietly raised his hand to brush softly against her cheek sounding her name so sweetly that it was hardly heard over the rain battering down around them. Just as her lips were about to join his in a tender kiss, her mind screamed at her to stop. Suddenly as reality hit her, she pulled back violently, like she had been burnt, ‘don’t let him touch you!’ Shaking her head to clear her confused brain she remembered who was standing in front of her. Shocked to see her withdraw so quickly from him, he realised the extent to how much he had hurt her. Deep in thought he barely heard her voice reaching him.

“What do you want from me?” she asked in a frail voice.

“What I want? I want for me to hold you, to chase away your demons, to love you.” He answered with trepidation.

“You can’t ask me for that; not now, not after…”

“But, why? What did I do?” he pleaded.

“You’ve changed,” She whispered. Then raising her eyes to his she answered, “You’re different…”

“How?” he cut her off, pleading her silently not to do this.

“You…you” She shook her head and said, “I can’t do this. I’m sorry William”

He started to shake his head, ‘no this cannot be it, don’t do this to me,’ he thought; but then she delivered the final blow.

“It’s over.”

With that said she turned and walked into her house not turning round to look at him as she shut the door behind her. She slid down the door and curled up into a ball, overwhelmed.

Outside in the pouring rain, drenched, frozen to the bone, a single tear running down his face he stood and stared at the door a broken man.


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One soft summer night is where it all began. The warm summer air sated everyone into a haze of warmth and comfort. Buffy’s shoulders sagged and she sighed, turning to face the customer in front of her. The diner was hot and humid causing her to feel drained and totally uninterested in servicing anyone. ‘Who would order fast food in summer anyway?’ Just then the doors burst open and the summer’s sun shone through the doors, the band entered. Buffy just rolled her eyes, sick of the band that thought they craved attention, she choose to totally and utterly ignore them. Or that was until her eyes met the soulful blue eyes staring at her, ‘Wow, who is he?’ she thought; instantly flushing as she noticed his gaze.

Spike and the band walked through the doors of the diner, Angel and Devon thought that they demanded immediate attention from the blonde behind the counter, but failed miserably. Their egos shunned they retreated to the booth in the far corner. Oz chuckled at the cold stare they received from the blonde and followed them into the booth. While Spike was stopped dead as his gaze met the eyes of the small spitfire in front of him; he had never been so entranced by a girl. Even in her foul uniform, she seemed to glow, emerald eyes glistening and honey blonde hair. She mesmerized him; he knew what he had to do, but that it wouldn’t be easy.


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Her cries softened, wails fading into sniffles, wiping her nose on her sleeve she slowly crept back to her feet and called the one person that she trusted in times like this, “Willow, its Buffy.”


Looking down into the tumbler, the amber hue rippled slightly as he swirled it around, swishing up the sides of the glass washing away all the drops back into the amber ocean. Spike felt just like one of those drops clinging to the edge in hope of being washed back into life and back to Buffy. Hearing the scrape of metal on cold tiles he tilted his head to look at the person next to him. The two men just nodded in acceptance of each other’s company. Happy as the silence washed over them, until Spike spoke up. “Can you tell me where it all went wrong?”



So what do you all think, want more? :)

Chapter 2

That day in the diner changed both their lives forever after their first encounter so many things had changed. They had experienced it all together: Deep Blue’s rise to fame, the trials and tribulations that love can bring, the meaningless fights, the feeling of being secure and safe with your heart in the hands of another; but now without each other they were both lost and aching for one another.

Even though Spike had sworn to himself that he would never love again, one look from her was all it had taken for him to fall. The carefully constructed persona that portrayed his image to the world and defended his battered heart came crashing down in an instant. However his inner feelings became squashed under the bay boy persona, his heart’s last attempt to try to save itself from any more betrayal. With time and with Buffy’s help he learnt that he could drop the bad boy image that he portrayed so well to the world and be loved for who he is and not what he is.


From that day Buffy had been intrigued by him, she still could fondly remember from that day the cocky grin he gave her; that promised so much more. To then hand him his food and watch him turn and walk away back to his friends. From that moment on she had vowed that she would see him again and get to know the man that she could see buried beneath the surface and that’s exactly what she did.

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Entering the Bronze later that week she walked through the doors and allowed the beat from the band wash over her, as she entered she gazed up at the stage. There singing passionately, totally entranced in the song unaware of the girls swooning before him, stood the man she wanted. She watched as that cocky grin reappeared as he leaned over the stage, working the crowed into frenzy; there it firmly stayed in place until he looked up and locked eyes with hers, giving her a small nod of acknowledgement he allowed his grin returned.

As his eyes rose over the audience he faltered for a fraction of a second as he noticed Buffy. He watched as she slowly sauntered towards the stage dancing along the way, groaning in amazement as she gave him a playful wink ‘two can play at this game’.

With a small nod he kept on singing wishing that the song would end so that he could go to her, as he sang he became transfixed by the seductive rhythm of her hips, not even noticing when the song came to an end. Shaking his lust hazed mind clear he launched off the stage and slowly stalked up behind her intent on finding out exactly what she was playing at. But before he could act, she turned and pulled him to her, breathing into his ear, she whispers, “I wanna know the real you”

Stunned he goes to respond but is stopped as a dainty finger is pressed to his lips, his eyes questioning her shaking her head at him with a mischievous glint in her eye; she answers “let’s dance”. ‘Stunned it left him thinking could she really see through the act, did she see the real me, his heart leapt at her gesture, could he finally have found the one?’



A knock on the door roused Buffy from the sofa. Trudging wearily to the door she took a deep breath, preparing for what she knew would happen next. As she opened the door, Willow burst in, “Oh my god. Buddy, what happened?”

“It’s Spike”

“What do you mean, Spike? Is he hurt? What happened? Tell me?” Willow questioned.

Curling up on Willow’s lap she pulled the blanket around herself she replied, “He hurt me”

“What, how?” Willow gasped in shock. If she was to trust anyone with her friend’s heart it would have been Spike. Although he seemed to be the rebellious rock star to the world, to Buffy he was William; the deeply passionate man who was intensely loyal that lay underneath the persona. Willow had seen it time and time again, how he would gaze at Buffy with such adoration that it would melt her heart. So for Buffy to say that he had hurt her, must be a misunderstanding, if not it meant that something very strange was taking place. Buffy’s weary, tear stained voice broke her thoughts.

“He cheated on me, after all he said, he cheated on me” Buffy cried into Willow’s lap.

“How can you be sure? I’m sure Spike would never cheat on you”

“He did cheat on me, I can’t believe it. Why would he do this to me? He convinced me that Will had…” she continued to blubber until Willow couldn’t understand her friend’s wails as she buried her head deeper into her lap.

Stroking her hair she softly asked, “Buffy, sweetie. Who told you this?” curious to hear who had told her, even though she thought she knew the answer. If it was who she thought it was she was already planning revenge. She needed to see Oz.

Instead, Buffy turned her head away from Willow ashamed.

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“It was going so well. I have no clue why she’s acting like this” he said despairingly as he knocked back the rest of his drink.

Spike and Oz had been at the Bronze for most of the night; Spike kept replaying the evening’s events over and over in his head, trying to recover an explanation. He had walked into the Bronze that night to see Buffy talking to Anya only to have her look at him in horror and then only turn and run without an explanation.

He had stood there for only an moment before taking off after her as confusion ran through him, he can just completed a 6 month tour and he was eager to see her again and he couldn’t think of a reason why he could of provoked such an extreme reaction from her.

“She’s broken up with me” Spike said as he raised his glass to indicate he wanted another drink. “When we spoke last week everything was fine or so I thought.” Shaking his head he knocked back the rest of the drink, waiting for it to be refilled. “So, any ideas why?” giving Oz a sideways glance.

“As to why she did it I haven’t a clue, but as to who might be the cause...” Oz cautiously answered.

Spike’s head shot up, “What do you mean who?”

“Angel” was Oz’s only reply as he stood and walked out of the bar, he really needed to find Willow and see what she knew.

As the night drew on they became more and more entranced with each other, Spike was brimming with questions to ask her, but as she continued to gaze at him with that seductive grin and grind against him in that oh so delicious way, every question he could imagine disappeared. Instead lust clouded his mind; she was pressing every one of his buttons and he loved it.

With a smirk he slowly backed her towards a darken corner of the Bronze determined in his goal to bed this vixen, who had teased him so mercilessly since the moment they met. She was a mystery and he wanted to find out more about what she had said earlier that night, it continued to float around his head both confusing and arousing him ‘what did she mean the real him?’. As he opened his mouth to speak, he found his words stifled by Buffy’s lips passionately entwining with his, her tongue playfully teasing at his bottom lip, begging for entrance. Allowing her entrance, she deepened the kiss further, her tongue caressing his in a sweet dance for dominance in that moment their kiss was full of burning passion, lust and promises of so much more. It seemed as if she was attempting to search every part of him, inside he was rejoicing, for so many painful years he had not felt so much for another woman, and yet in merely less than a week this girl had inspired so much more.

As they parted for breath she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“Do you want to do this?”

Eyes burning bright he replied, “More than you could ever know”

In that instant they knew that they had found the one.

With one last kiss of want and longing Buffy entwined his hand with hers and led him into what would seem to be a promising future together. As they left a dark figure appeared out of the shadows his brown eyes burning with jealousy, that night he swore to cause misery to this bleached wonder that would dare take his girl.

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Over the next year Buffy and Spike’s relationship flourished from a sweet fling into a deep romance. The carefully constructed barriers that each of them had placed around their hearts, slowly came down, but every now and then their own fears would raise their ugly heads, leading to meaningless fights that would then lead to great make up sex.

In that year Buffy remained working at the diner while Spike continued on with the band in search of that elusive deal. Things between them became tense at times, as the pressure of the band mounted, but instead of letting it tear them apart, it made them closer. Using it as ammunition to carry on and become more determined, until one spring day when that determination finally paid off.

“Buffy we’ve gone and bloody made it!”

Racing down the stairs to meet him Buffy shouted in delight, “You mean the band?”

Smiling from ear to ear he replied “Dead on luv, we got the deal!”

“Wow that’s fantastic news” answered Buffy as she leapt of the last step and into his waiting arms.

He laughed and kissed her, then spun her around and then finally placed her on her feet he added “It gets better Kitten, were off on a 6 months tour!”

As he bent down to hug her tightly, Buffy buried her head in his shoulder worry clouding her thoughts as she automatically answered, “Well done, you deserve it”

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Willow continued to coax Buffy into confirming her suspicions, she had a man to see and revenge to plot “Buffy. Sweetie, come on tell me what happened”.

Slowly Buffy sniffed and turned her head back but didn’t dare look into her friend’s eyes, “He came to me and said that William had slept with a groupie on tour”. Willow’s eye’s burned with confusion and anger.

“Buffy, who told you this?”

“I know I’m not much to look at, who can blame him for not wanting to wait for me for so long”

Frustrated Willow touched her face making Buffy meet her gaze, slowly she repeated, “Who told you this?”

“Angel, but that’s not the point, why would William cheat on me”

“Buffy, you listen to me, Spike would never and I repeat never cheat on you!”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Believe me I can”, pausing for a moment she knew what she had to do. “Buffy, I’ve got to go, but believe me when I say Spike has not or will not ever cheat on you, he loves you too much”

With that Willow gave her friend one last hug and headed for the door, desperately in search of Oz. A figure watched with interest as the red head left the house and walked off into the distance.

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As soon as Oz had uttered that most hated name, Spike saw red. They might be a band mates, but it was a well known fact that besides making fantastic music together, Angel and Spike had a mutual hatred for each other. Spike thought to himself that he should have known that Angel was behind this, the giant brooding sod. He couldn’t figure out what Angel had done, but he was determined to find out. Downing the last of his drink, he kicked back the stool and turned, his duster flaring out behind him and strode into the night, a man on a mission, but first he had a girl to see.

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Soon after Willow’s departure Buffy had again curled up on the couch, Willow’s and Angel’s words kept swirling around in her mind. Both voices coaxing her into believing their side of the story, in her heart she knew she should believe Willow, but her head was screaming at her that Angel had seemed so genuine. Yes Spike hated him, but he had remained polite and civil towards her over the years. However deep inside she knew that if she allowed this to eat away at her, it would destroy the thing she held most dear.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Wondering if it was Willow returning she wiped her tears and rose to answer it. However on the other side it was the person she least expected to see that night.



A/N: Thanks for reading, reviews are always welcomed. Does anyone want more?