“No way, uh huh, nope! How many more words for no do you want?”

“Buffy. You don't have a choice! You wanted this career and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. And this is one of them.” Willow replied, resolve face firmly in place.

“But it's Spike Giles! You want me to sing with Fangs. It won't work Wills, I'll end up killing him. Or it'll kill me. And most likely on stage. I just can't do it” Buffy looked up to meet Willow's eyes.

Willow gasped when she saw the pain her best friend had been hiding.

“You still love him!” Willow exclaimed

“WHAT? I do not. I got over Spike along time ago Wills. He wanted bigger and better things than me. And I've dealt with that”

“Well if that's true Buff, what better way to show you're over him? He doesn't know how big you are now. We haven't seen him in years. So what's the worst that could happen?”

“He finds out about Adelaide” Buffy answered with tears in her eyes.

“Well then, Adelaide won't come. We need to do this Buffy. It's a lot of money we're being offered. You can do this, I know you can”

“Adelaide always comes to my shows and this time will be no different. You know what, fine. It's about time I faced Spike. It's been ten years. And it's time Adelaide knew her father”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Hey baby pack up, We're going on tour!” Buffy said, looking at her daughter.

“Where to this time mom?” Adelaide Summers-Giles asked

“London” Buffy replied.

“Does that mean.........?” The question was left half asked, but Buffy knew what words would finish it.

“I've been asked to perform some songs with him on his tour. Willow says I have to go. And there's no way I'm leaving you behind, so you're coming with”

The smile on Adelaide's face was enough to make the coming heartache worth it. As long as her baby was happy, then so was she.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“ So here's how it's gonna work. The support band will go on first. Then Spike will do a few songs. He'll then take a break and the MC will introduce you and you'll sing 3 songs and then one with Spike. You can choose what you wanna sing.”

They had been on the plane for over three hours now and Buffy was already bored. Adelaide had managed to fall asleep but her and Willow were wide awake.

Buffy was now starting to panic. How was she gonna face Spike. Their last meeting hadn't gone too great. It was a week after Buffy had found out she was pregnant. She had gone round to Spike's to see him before he left for New York to make it big. Buffy had thought that if she told him about the baby, that it would make him stay. Or if not stay at least ask her to go with him. Or something other than what actually happened She never got that far.

Spike had done all the talking. He told her he loved her, but he wanted to chase his dreams and he couldn't do that stuck here. Buffy took that to mean that she was holding him back and that if he felt that, then there was no point to their relationship. So she smiled, wished him luck and walked away.

Buffy was 18 and and he was 21. Spike had been her first everything. Boyfriend, kiss, lover etc. And first and last heartbreak. But what he didn't know was that he'd given her something special. He'd given her Adelaide.

Buffy hadn't seen him since. She had a few pictures of him, but most of those were now Adelaide's. But then 5 years ago, he'd made it big. And his face was every where. Buffy was happy for him, she really was. She'd known how important music was to him, cause it was the same for her. But because of the baby, her career had to go on hold. And now, now it was her turn.


////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Their flight landed in Heathrow at 11am. Buffy was hounded as soon as she made it through immigration. Camera's flashed everywhere she looked and questions were flung at her from every direction. Finally security arrived and whisked the girls away.

“Oh my god!” Buffy exclaimed. “This never gets any easier”

“The joy of being famous mom” Adelaide replied. She got herself seated in the limo next to her mom with Willow sitting opposite her. Adelaide started playing with the radio, trying to find a station.

“..........so yeah, I'm really looking forward to this tour. They won't tell me who the guest is, but I know we'll be doing a duet. So I guess it's a female artist. But I could be wrong!”

Buffy had sat up straight as soon as she heard his voice. Adelaide looked at her mother in apprehension. Please don't make me turn it off, she thought.

“So the theme with this tour is that I'm going right back to the beginning. I've been writing my auto-biography, so I've been digging into my past and a lot of old memories and feelings have resurfaced.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well I don't wanna say too much, but there was a girl. Doesn't that say it all?”

No not really, Buffy thought. You need to be a bit more specific!

“She was my everything. And I messed it up. But anyway, so yeah I'm gonna do some songs that have never been heard before. They were written before I got signed. And now's the right time to do 'em. There's also a few new one's I've been working on.”

“You're a very honest bloke, Spike. Especially on a live radio station. So, these old but new songs, you gonna perform one now for us?”

“Yeah I am. Just to give you a little taste!”

“I'm sure you're gonna have a great time, Spike. So, singing live in the studio, is Spike Giles!”

“Thanks Chris 1...2...3...4...”

Look at this photograph
Every time I do, it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

When Buffy heard his voice, singing with just a guitar, her mind sent her back to all the times he used to sing to her. Stuff he'd written or what was in the charts at the time, whatever his fingers wanted to play.

This is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out
And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

Adelaide listened to her fathers voice. It was a song she hadn't heard before. Her mom had told her all about him last year. The story came out when her friends at school kept asking if she was related to Spike Giles as she looked so much like him. When she'd asked her mom, Buffy told her everything she could. Buffy went overboard on explaining that Spike hadn't abandoned her as he didn't know about her.

I wonder if it's too late
Should I go back and try to graduate
Life's better now than it was back then
If I was them, I wouldn't let me in

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Spike had been one of Willow's best friends. And when he and Buffy had first got together, she was so happy. They were perfect for each other. And the best bit was, they could understand each other's passion for music. When Buffy had told her that Spike had left, she could hardly believe it. He'd left without saying goodbye to anyone.

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hanging out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

The limo arrived at The London Hilton and pulled up to the doors. The driver came round and opened the door, but no one moved.

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town, I miss the faces
You can't erase, You can't replace it
I miss it now, I can't believe it
So hard to stay, Too hard to leave it

If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

The driver pushed the door over and went to the back of the car to remove the bags.

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it time to say
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
Every time I do it makes me........

Buffy and Willow climbed out the car, both with tears in their eyes. Adelaide followed but with a smile on her face and a plan in her mind...................................

Chapter 2 The In Between Stuff



“You need to let me know what you're gonna sing cause I'm gonna need to get the backing tracks.”

“Willow, what I need to do right now is feed my daughter and then sleep for a week!”

“Sorry Buff, no can do. Well I mean you can feed Adelaide of course but the sleeping thing is a big no at the moment” Willow tried not to be afraid of the death glare she was getting, but dammit, the blonde could be scary when she was sleep deprived.

“Come on mom, you'll be fine. Hey, did dad ever whine this much?”

“Oh no, your father whined a lot worse!”


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


“But I don't wanna get up!”

“Fine, then I'll cancel the rest of the gigs.”

“Wait....What? You can't do that!”

“Well you don't 'wanna' get up. I'm taking that to mean at all. You can't very well do a gig in here now can you?”

“That's what you think. I'll have you know-”

“Save it William. I do not wish to know about your extra activities.”

“Dad.......You know there's not-”

“I know. Now, will you please get up. We have to be at the venue in a hour.”

“Yeah, I'm up.”


/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Ok so I'm gonna do Adelaide's song. That ones a definite. But I don't know about the other two.”

“That's a good one. I really like that song.” Willow replied whilst looking for the track on her computer.

“Oh mom, Why don't you do Let Love Lead the Way?”

“Yeah I could do that one. And I guess I can do What Does She Look Like? There, that's my three. Can I please go to sleep now?” When Willow nodded, Buffy sighed with relief.

Buffy sat down on the bed that was going to be hers for the next week and a half. Memories flew through her mind at lightening fast speed. One of the most painful ones pushed it's way to the front. It was about three months after Spike had left. She'd been suffering really bad morning sickness and was on strict bed rest. Buffy had just been dropping off when the phone had rang.

“Hello?”
“Hi Buffy”
“Spike?”
“Yeah it's me”
“Why are you calling? Is something wrong?”
“Umm no actually everything's good. There's just something I wanted to tell you before you heard it from anyone else.”
“Oh, what's that?”
“The day I left I......Well I kinda met someone.”
“Oh, in New York?”
“No, in Sunnydale. God, I didn't think it would be this hard.”
“What are you trying to tell me Spike?”
“The woman I met....Well I've asked her to marry me. And she said yes.”
“Well.....That's.....I'm happy for you.”
“That's not all”
“Oh please, do tell”
“She's pregnant. I'm gonna be a father!”

At that Buffy had slammed the phone down so hard it had shattered. That was the day she had finally realised that she had lost Spike forever.

As Buffy wiped her tears away and got into bed, she finally realised that she had to move on.


///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


As soon as Adelaide crawled into bed, she grabbed the remote for the TV. She flicked through all the channels before settling on an old disney movie. It was one of those ones that had songs in it and if you knew the words you couldn't help but sing along. As she hummed a few words to herself, she couldn't help but think life was going to get so much better.


///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


“No she's fine, it's just Buffy I'm a bit worried about.”

“Has she said anything?”

“No, not since we left Sunnydale. Adelaide mentions him every chance she can get”

“Well that's to be expected really. She's excited about finally getting to meet her father and her grandfather”

“GILES! Buffy doesn't know that I've told you, so Adelaide doesn't know you're here.”

“Don't you think you should?”

“Do I have a death wish?”

“Willow, that's a bit dramatic don't you think?”

“Let me think about it, NO! Giles, Buffy will kill me.”

“I have a right to know my own granddaughter. And William has a right to know he's a father”

“But he already is”

“What?”

“What do you mean what? Spike has another child”

“With who?”

“What do you mean with who? He or she has to be the same age as Adelaide.”

“Willow I can honestly say I have no idea what..................Wait a minute. I can't believe it. William phoned Buffy and told her?”

“Yeah, three months after he left. Said he was getting married and that she was pregnant. Buffy hung up and they haven't spoke since.”

“The stupid prat! So that's why Buffy never told him. It all makes sense now.”

“Giles, what aren't you telling me?”

“I can't tell you Willow, but what I can say is that William has only fathered one child and that's Adelaide.”


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


After having a couple of hours sleep, Buffy stumbled back into the main room.

“Coffee” Buffy smiled when Willow pushed a cup in her direction.

“So do I need to go down for a sound check?”

“Not tonight no. We're in first thing tomorrow. Spike's gone down there tonight to check up on all the back grounds and stuff. But I thought as we were here I'd get you on a TV interview. You're on a morning show called GMTV. Time slot is 7:30. They want you to do a song as well”

“OK, sounds good. Umm, Willow, how do you know what Spike's doing?”

Willow looked down into her coffee and mumbled.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“I'm in contact with his manager”

“Well yeah I kinda guessed that, but I didn't think it would go this far”

“Well you know us managers always ready to spill the beans.”

“Actually Will, I do know you managers and I know when there's something you're not telling me. Like now for example!”

“It's just, I'm good friends with Spike's manager, that's all”

“Willow!”

“Buffy I'm real busy. I have loads of paper work to get done. Especially if you wanna get paid”

“Willow!”

“Giles! OK, Giles is Spike's manager.”


TBC

Chapter 3 What does she look like


“ Ok, so, everything is set at the O2. We're there for four nights and then we're doing a couple of small gigs at The Carling Acadamy, then we're gonna go on to Wembley. We're there for 3 nights. See I listen!” Spike grabbed the tea his father had made him and then sat on the sofa. “I still don't see why I had to be up at some ungodly hour to go through all this”

“Well sometimes we all have to do things that we don't like. We need to be at the O2 at five for the sound check” Rupert Giles said as he sat down. “Now lets see what morning TV has to offer”

Giles picked up the remote and switched it on to ITV. He was glad William hadn't questioned him further on why he'd gotten him up so early. He knew that Buffy was going to be on GMTV and thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for Spike to see how well she was doing.
--------------------------------------------------
“And now for our special guest this morning..... Buffy Summers!”

“Morning Fiona”
--------------------------------------------------
Spike's head snapped up so fast he nearly got whiplash.
-------------------------------------------------
“Good morning Buffy. Thanks for coming”

“Thanks for having me”

“So, you've topped the US charts and now you're topping the UK charts. How does it feel?”

“Quite strange really. I mean I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. So it's hard to believe that it's actually happened.”

“Are you a lyricist as well?”

“Yes, I write all my own songs. I've been writing them since I was 15, so I've got a lot of them. Most of what's on my album was written about 10 years ago.”

“What about the one you're going to perform today?”

“This one was written about 10 years ago. I was going through a bad patch, as we all do. And when I got signed this was the one they chose to be my first single. Something about depressing love songs sell. Which lucky for me it did!”

“And it reached number one and stayed there for 3 weeks. And then stayed in the top 10 for 7 weeks. That's pretty impressive.”

“You're telling me. Everytime my manager called me and told me I just couldn't believe it.”
--------------------------------------
“She did it”

“She did”

“You knew?”

“Yes”

“How could you not tell me?”

“It wasn't my place”

“Bollocks!”

“William! Maybe if you listened to the radio or watched decent TV for a change you would've known”

“I miss her”

“I know. But what's done is done. You can only move forward.”
-------------------------------
“ Well Buffy. Again thanks for coming in. And now singing live in the studio is Buffy Summers!”

Buffy walked over to the microphone, closed her eyes and breathed in. As the opening notes started she breathed out, opened her eyes and looked straight into the camera.

I never thought that love could be unkind
'Cos your the type of guy I thought I'd never find
I thought I could forget you and be strong
But the love I have inside makes me hold on

And now I am beside myself
I think of you and no one else
You held me tight I felt so safe
And now I know I've been replaced
-----------------------------------------------------
“God, she's amazing!”

“She always had a good voice.”

“She hasn't changed at all. She looks gorgeous.”

“Having regrets?”

“When do I not? I just wish I could see her, so I could explain.”

“Why did you phone her?”

“Because I wanted to see if she would ask me to come back. I missed her so much. And I wanted to go back. I was stupid, I know that. But I just kept thinking that if I told her and she still loved me then she'd want me to come home.”

“You told her you were going to be a father”

“Well I thought I was!”

“William, she wouldn't have asked you to go back to her once you told her that!”
--------------------------------------------
What does she look like?
Why was she so right?
That you gave your love to her
Baby didn't I deserve

To hold you
Baby, to show you
That the love I have inside to give
Was enough for us to live

You'll never know the hurt you put me through
Cos you're loving her while I was loving you
You took my heart and ripped it into shread's
And now your heart is with that girl in your bed
-----------------------------------------
“I didn't think about it like that! I wanted to tell her I was sorry and that I shouldn't have left like that. But it just didn't come out. I fucked up. I was told the baby was mine but I knew it wasn't.”

“How?”

“Because I'd told her the week before that I was gonna go back to Buffy. And then she tells me she's pregnant. It was just after my meeting with Angel. She wanted me to stay with her and thought that was the way. Well it worked. That is, until I found her shagging him!”
----------------------------------------
I know I'm just a memory
But I will love you endlessly
You cherished me
You made me strong
You gave me strength to carry on

What does she look like?
Why was she so right?
That you gave your love to her
Baby, didn't I deserve
To hold you
Baby, to show you
That the love I have inside to give
Was enough for us
----------------------------------------
“So that's why you didn't take the contract with Angel?”

“Yeah”

“Why have you never told me this?”

“I dunno. Didn't want you to think I was stupid, cause it sounds ridiculous that I let some two timing bitch hold me back.”

“So you led me to believe that Angel thought you
weren't good enough?”

“Yeah, guess it sounds pretty stupid now”

“Yes, I would have to agree with you on that”

“What am I gonna do now?”
-----------------------------------------
Don't you think I'll sit there crying over you
Baby, don't you take me for a fool no, no, no
I'll think of you along the way
I'll get over you I hope and pray
If I was not the one for you
Why did you choose me? to make me blue?

What does she look like?
Why was she so right?
That you gave your love to her
Baby, didn't I deserve
To hold you
Baby, to show you
That the love I have inside to give
Was enough for us
----------------------------------------------
“ Mom's amazing” Adelaide whispered.

“I know” Willow whispered back. The pair looked on in awe as Buffy sang the song perfectly.
-------------------------------------------
What does she look like?
Why was she so right?
That you gave your love to her
Baby, didn't I deserve
To hold you
Baby, to show you
That the love I have inside to give
Was enough for us to live

As the song faded out, applause erupted from the hosts and crew members.

Buffy took a bow and smiled at the camera and then walked off to join Willow and Adelaide.
TBC

As Spike walked back into his room, his thoughts were on Buffy, where they usually were. He was a fool to walk away and he knew it. But how do you tell the girl you love that you helped your sister die.

//////////////////////////////////////////

“Dru, do you know what you're asking me to do?” Spike asked. His voice cracked with the tears that were threatening to fall. “I can't do it!”

“My sweet boy. Of course you can. This isn't the life for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking at these four walls. I'm never going to get out of here. I want to be free. I want to be one of the stars.”

“But you are. You're my star.”

“But you already have your sunshine, you can't have the stars as well.”

“I can't do it. I wouldn't even know where to start!”

“You can do anything you set your mind to.”

“It's murder.”

“No one will know”

“I'll know!”

“But I'll be free. Please my Spike. I need this. They give me my medication at 8 and 8. I can save the morning one's and take them in the evening. All you'd have to do is get me something else. Maybe some paracetamol. It'll be just like going to sleep.”

“We're in a America Dru. They don't have paracetamol.”

“Well you know what I mean. Just get me something. Otherwise I'll find a more painful way of doing it. It wouldn't be the first time either!”

“That's not fair! How can you ask me to do this? You're my sister for fuck's sake!”

“Spike, I'm sick. I know it and you know it. I'm never going to get better. Why can't you just let me go? I need to go. My time is up.”

“Dru.........”

“Please do this for me.”

“You can get help.”

“I've had help!”

“We can get you more”

“Help me”

“What?”

“I'm asking you for help.”

“I don't-”

“Please, there is no one else to do this. I need you to help me”

Spike had left soon after. Drusilla had disappeared inside her head. Her moments of sane behaviour were now few and far between and he knew it wouldn't be long before he lost her to her illness.

He had never been able to refuse her anything. But how was he supposed to do this for her?

///////////////////////////////////////////

Spike had gone back to see her 2 days later, knowing that his father had gone in the day before. When he arrived Dru looked up at him with a serene smile.

“Well?”

“I've got 'em. I can't believe you wanna do this.”

“I don't have a life any more. I want to be apart of the sky. I want to be a dream, and float from place to person. I WANT this.”

“I love you”

“And I love you darling brother”

With that, Spike kissed her cheek and fled the room. He ran to his car and sped off down the highway. After 10 minutes, it was hard to see the road with the tears in his eyes so he pulled over.

Once out of the car his tears began to fall in earnest.

//////////////////////////////////////////////

Spike never went back to visit Drusilla. He waited for the call to come. Days turned into weeks before finally it came. And then the heartache.

Spike poured his grief into his music. Pages and pages were written in dedication to his sister, but only one of those song's ever took flight.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Spike wiped the tears from his eyes. Buffy had played a large part in helping him through his grief. She had been his rock. The one that kept him standing. But then the guilt had hit. And it began to eat away at him bit by bit until finally he couldn't take no more. He didn't want her to leave him if he told her, so he did the easiest thing, he ran.

//////////////////////////////////////////////

He was gonna leave her a note. He knew it was cowardly but he knew he wouldn't be able to say goodbye. But then she came round. And he just said the first things that came to his mind and then left.

He had gone straight to Sunnydale International and got a flight to New York, where he knew Angel was. And it was on the plane that he'd met Cordelia.

Spike tried to drown his sorrows on the plane. But the flight attendant would only give him 3 of the miniature bottles. So he bribed the girl next to him to get him some more.

/////////////////////////////////////////////

Cordelia had been on a modelling job in LA and then went to Sunnydale to visit her father. She was on her way back to NY to see her agent. When she saw the guy she was sitting next to, she knew it'd be an interesting flight.

What she didn't expect was for him to get so drunk, that when the plane landed he couldn't even stand up. She had heard the attendant trying to explain to him that he'd get drunk quicker whilst in the air, but he hadn't believed her. When he'd asked her to get him some more, he had looked so torn up that Cordelia couldn't refuse. They had talked for a while before it became clear to Cordelia that he was to drunk to have a proper conversation. Which then brought her to her predicament. What was she supposed to do with him?

So she'd taken him to her hotel and called her boyfriend. When he arrived he hadn't been able to believe his eyes.

“Cordelia, do you wanna play a game?”

“What sort of game?”

“Oh, you'll see”

What he had done was meant to be a joke. They had put Spike to bed in Cordelia's room. She and her boyfriend then had a few drinks. And when he left she forgot all about Spike and got into bed.

When Spike had woken the next morning, he'd found his arms wrapped around a body and he was naked. Something didn't add up though. He knew he was in New York and that Buffy wasn't here. When he opened his eyes he saw a mass of brunette hair.

He had jumped up so fast, he got tangled in the sheets. He never said anything, just gathered his clothes and then left.

He went straight to Angel after, to ask for a place to stay. Angel agreed and showed Spike to the guest room.

Spike never left his room in the daylight hours. But once evening came, he was out the door. He would then stumble back in just before sunrise.

Angel knew he had to snap him out of this, so he offered to try and get him a music contract. When Angel had come back and said it was a yes, Spike had been so happy. He was finally getting his break. He told Angel that he was going to call Buffy and ask her to come out to New York. He wanted her there with him, more than anything.

But then he'd got a call from Cordelia. She was pregnant.

He had gone to see her the following evening. She said she couldn't raise the baby by herself, so she was going to have an abortion. Spike couldn't agree with that, it was his kid too, so he stepped up to his responsibilities. Said he'd be there for her and the baby. Told her she wouldn't be alone. He then asked her to marry him. Cordelia had looked at him like he'd gone insane. And he felt that way too, but he explained that he wanted the baby to be a Giles. So she agreed.

He couldn't believe that he was gonna be a father. The only thing was, he'd always imagined that he'd have these things with Buffy. They had talked about their future so many times, that he could see it. See the kids they'd have, the house they'd live in, even the bloody dog they'd get. And now it was happening for him. Just not with Buffy.

Cordelia was a nice enough woman, she just wasn't for him. But this seemed like the right thing to do.

It was then he'd made the phone call to Buffy. He couldn't believe he was gonna be a father and he had to tell someone. It wasn't until he heard her voice that he realized he was making a mistake. But he needed Buffy to tell him. Maybe ask to see him. But she didn't. And then he told her about Cordelia. And she hung up.

He couldn't blame her.

The worst of it was, when he got back to Angel's the doubts set in. It was obvious they slept together, but things just didn't add up.

He went to see Angel the next day. He had walked straight into his office and got the shock of his life. There was his supposed fiancé banging Angel on the desk.

Angel had smirked when he saw Spike standing in the doorway. He didn't bother to ask questions. He just walked away.

Spike got back to Angel's and packed up his stuff. He planned to be gone before Angel got back, but that didn't work out.

“Come on Spike, it was a joke!”

“Am I laughing?”

“Relax boy! So you're not gonna be a daddy just yet, what's the big deal?”

“Is she even pregnant?”

“Yes”

“Yours?”

“Yeah”

“Congratulations. Right then, thats all my gear. Bye”

“Wait, where you going?”

“Away”

“But your contract?”

“Shove it!”

And with that he walked away.

TBC

“So everything's good then?”

“Yeah, it's all been checked, no faults found and the sound is amazing.”

“Good”

“So what do you think of the support?”

“Yeah they're alright”

“And the blonde bird? She's hot, man!”

“What blonde bird?”

“That summer chick”

“Mate, you've lost me”

“You know! That Betty Summer, or whatever her name is. She's great!”

“Buffy Summers?”

“Yeah that's her. Her body is fine!”

“Oi! You telling me that Buffy Summers is performing tonight?”

“Ummmm, you didn't know?”

“Does it sound like I know?”

“Well man, she's the one you're gonna be singing with”

“WHAT?!”

“Chill out, mate!”

“DAD!!!!!!!!!”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Buffy could hear the noise of the crowd in her dressing room and it sent the adrenaline pumping through her body. The venues she'd played at before were nothing compared to this. Nerves had never been a problem before but add the fact that Spike was there and it sent them soaring.

The past couple of days had not been fun. It seemed everywhere she went she saw his face or heard his voice and Adelaide had been asking questions non stop.

She knew she had to speak to Spike, there was no way to avoid it. She had to tell him about Adelaide. She just wasn't sure how to broach the subject.

“Hi Spike, remember me? How are you? Oh by the way, you have a daughter. So you're famous now?”

Yeah, cause that'd go over well.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Come on William, you're on”

“No”

“Oh for gods sake! Stop acting so immature!”

“No”

“William.......”

“How could you not tell me?”

“Because we didn't know if she would agree”

“We?”

“Willow and myself. It was all very last minute”

“And the duet?”

“Well, that was Willows idea”

“Right, well I wanna change my first song”

“Ok. Just please can you go out on stage now, before the crowd start to complain”

“Yeah, yeah I'm going”

Spike got up and moved towards the door. As he reached for the handle he noticed how badly he was shaking. He wasn't nervous about performing, he never had been. It was knowing that somewhere in the building, Buffy was there.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Adelaide stood just to the left of Spike's dressing room. She was hoping to see him as he came out. But when he eventually did, she heard him mumble something that made her smile.

“Come on Spike, this is your chance to tell her you still love her, don't fuck it up!”

She didn't know how she knew that he was talking about her mom, she just did.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Spike couldn't help the grin on his face. The noise from the crowd had been deafening. And knowing that it was for him was a huge ego trip.

After he had managed to quieten the crowd down, he played a few cords on Crystal, his favourite guitar and then stepped up to the mic.

“Hello London!! This first song I'm gonna do was written about 5 years ago. And yes, it is about someone in particular and I think they know who they are.”

Spike strung the first few notes and then began to sing.


How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Don't think its too late
Nothings wrong, just as long as you know
that someday I will

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When Buffy had heard Spike's name announced she had to go and see him. She stood off to the side
of the stage and watched him walk out. When she heard him talk about the song he was about to
sing she knew it was meant for her. And once he started, she felt her tears begin to fall.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Rupert Giles listened to his son sing. He knew his son's biggest regret was never sorting things out
with Buffy. He didn't talk about her much any more, resigned to the fact that he thought he'd never
see her again. But when Rupert had found out about Adelaide he knew that his son deserved to
know. Willow had explained to him that Buffy wasn't keeping her from him, she just didn't know
how to reach him. She had also told him that Adelaide knew all about her father and him as well.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Nothings wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Willow watched as Buffy tried to hide her tears. She went to move away to give her friend some
privacy but when she looked over at Buffy she noticed her face had gone pale and then she heard
the name she whispered.

“Giles....”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Giles had seen her the minute she left the dressing room. She was standing just off to the side of
the stage. He didn't know what it was about her but something was telling him to go to her.

At that point she turned, obviously feeling she was being watched. And when their eyes met he
knew why he was being pulled to her.

“Hello”

“Um hi?”

“Forgive me. I never thought I'd be doing this”

“Doing what?”

“Introducing myself to you. I thought it would always be your mother or father that would. I never
thought I'd meet you before he did”

And when Adelaide saw the tears in his eyes she knew who this man was. She flew into his arms
for a hug that was 9 years overdue.

“Hi Grandpa”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

After speaking with Adelaide for a while, he then noticed Buffy. And when Adelaide saw where
he was looking she told him to go say hi.

He walked towards her when just like her daughter she must have felt someone watching her. She
turned and then whispered his name.

“Hello Buffy”

“Oh god. Giles?”

“Oh my dear, don't cry”

“I've missed you so much!”

“I've missed you too”

“I have so much I need to tell you, but I don't.......”

“It's ok Buffy”

“No, you don't understand. There's someone....”

“Buffy!”

“Yeah?”

“We've already met”

“You mean you......”

“Yes. Adelaide is very beautiful. Just like her mother”

With that, Buffy burst into great heaving sobs and could only whisper 'I'm sorry' over and over.
Giles pulled her into his arms and tried to offer her as much comfort as he could. If this was her
reaction to him finding out, what would she be like with William?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


Nothings wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when



TBC

Chapter 6 Maybe I'm Amazed



~~Flashback~~

It was the night of Buffy's eighteenth birthday. Everyone was there, her mother and father, aunties and uncle's, cousins, even the little old lady who lived two houses down. Everyone was there. Except for him. And as time ticked by and he still didn't show, Buffy started to experience her first little bit of heartbreak.

When it reached 11pm and he still wasn't there Buffy felt her tears begin to fall.

“Aww don't cry Miss Buffy, your knight will come”

“But it's too late now! He's missed the whole party and he promised to be here!”

“Now Miss Buffy. We must be good. The stars are telling me we must wait. All good things come to those who wait you know?!”

It was then Buffy heard a commotion coming from the lounge. As she started to walk in there she heard her mom mumble something under her breath which sounded like 'He's cutting it pretty fine!'

Who was she talking about?

But things became clear as she went into the lounge. There he was! He was with Oz and Xander setting up some band equipment. A crowd started to gather around the trio making it look like a mini concert.

When she looked at Spike, she could see he was kinda nervous, which was surprising cause he'd grown out of that phase. And she was even more shocked when Xander took the microphone and started talking.

“Ok everyone sorry we're a bit late, but our lead singer here decided he had to write a new song just as we were leaving, but to top it off, he just has to sing it tonight, so we had to practise! So forgive us! Little Buffy, this is for you!”

Buffy stood up a little straighter and then walked forwards and around until she was in Spike's line of sight. And when he looked her way, her smile lit up the whole room.

“Happy birthday baby”


Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you


When Buffy's tears began to fall this time, it wasn't out of sadness. She was so in awe of him and
what he'd done for her, that the fact that he was so late was already forgiven.


The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes


She felt her face redden at that bit, but couldn't help the chuckle that followed. She cast a glance
towards her mom, who looked to be in a bit of shock at hearing the words being sung.


I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you


Spike then broke out into a solo with his guitar, before finishing the song off.


Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you


When he stepped out from all the music equipment he found his arms full of Buffy.

“Sorry I'm late”

“Oh you are so totally forgiven”

“Why thank you, kind lady! I have your present”

“You mean that wasn't it?”

“Well, yeah but I actually have something for you”

“Really?”

“What do you mean really? Your my girl Buffy, of course I got you a sodding present!”

“Ok, ok, I'm sorry! Can I have my present now?”

As Spike reached into his pocket, Buffy felt a small tap on shoulder and as she turned she saw her
mother with an expectant look on her face.

“Hold that thought, I'll be right back”

Buffy followed her mother into the kitchen and sat at the island.

“What's up mom?”

“Are you having sex?”

“MOM!”

“Buffy I'm serious. Are you using protection?”

“Woah! Hold up a sec! You ask me if I'm doing it and then just assume that I am?”

“Well are you?”

“No actually, I'm not”

“Really?”

“Really mom. I'm not having sex yet. So you can let out that breath you've been holding!”

“Just please be careful”

“We will”

//////////////////////////////////////////

“Let's go”

“Where?”

“Anywhere but here”

“Will we always be together?”

“Forever and always baby!”

“And have kids together? And get a dog, oh, or a cat?”

“Yeah Buffy. And as soon as you're ready I'm gonna put a ring on your finger and we're
gonna get married and then have kids”

“You forgot the dog or cat!”

“Yeah ok, then get a dog or a cat”

“I want our kids to be special”

“They will be baby, they'll be from me and you”

“Ok, can I have my present now?”

Spike chuckled as he once again reached into his pocket. He handed Buffy the wrapped gift and
watched her face expectantly. As she opened it, her eyes once again filled with tears. Inside the
box was a charm bracelet and attached to one of the links was a heart charm.

“It's beautiful”

“There's more. Take it out and look at the charm”

Buffy picked up the bracelet and looked more closely. Engraved on the charm were the words
' Buffy and Spike, Together Forever'

“I know it's stupid but....”

“No, it's not. It's wonderful. I love it. Here, help me put it on”

Once the bracelet was securely fastened, Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike. She leaned up and
brushed her mouth across his cheek and then slowly moved down to his lips. The kiss turned
passionate and Spike opened his mouth so his tongue could meet with Buffy's. He rested his hands
on her hips and began massaging them soflty.

Buffy moaned and clung to his shoulders tightly. When she pulled away to gasp for air, she moaned
again from the look in Spikes eye's.

“I think I'm ready”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Spike, I'm sure.”

“Where?”

“My room”

Buffy pulled away and went back into the house. After saying goodnight to her mother, she
climbed the stairs to her room. As she shut the door behind her, she found Spike reclined on her
bed.

“Come 'ere baby”

Buffy walked towards the bed and kicked off her shoes on the way. She laid down beside Spike,
with her head resting on his chest. His hands came up automatically to wrap around her waist
and back.

“I'm kinda nervous”

“I know”

“But why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we've done stuff before and seen everything of each other. So why am I nervous?”

“ I don't know, sweetheart. Maybe it's cause it's something we haven't done before?”

“Yeah, maybe”

“We don't have to, if you don't want to?”

“No! I mean, I want to”

Spike moved himself down on the bed so that he was eye level with her. He brushed his lips across
hers and then opened his mouth and licked along her lips. Buffy's mouth opened and her tongue
met with his. This kiss was different than any other they had shared, it was more passionate and
more demanding.

She wrapped her arms around Spikes back and then slipped her hands under his t-shirt. She pushed
up until the shirt wouldn't go any further. Spike broke away and pulled it over his head and flung it
to the floor. They went straight back into another kiss.

Spike reached around her back and found the zip for her dress, which he then pulled down. He
began to push the material down her body, when he felt her hand enclose his erection. He broke
away from the kiss with a tortured moan and began to breath heavily.

“I love it when you do that. I didn't even feel you undo my pants”

“ I know”

“Tighter”

The sound of his voice, whimpering with need fueled her own desire. She grasped him more firmly
and began to tug up and down. On each upstroke her thumb caressed the top of his shaft, which
made his breath hitch every time.

He could feel his release building. Buffy had become an expert at this and could make him cum in
minutes.

“Baby, stop”

He heard her chuckle quitely and knew she knew why. As soon as she released him, he pushed her
dress down as far as he could and then watched her wriggle out of the rest of it. He gulped when he
saw what she'd been hiding under the dress.

“You like?”

“Oh fuck, Buffy. I don't know if I want to rip it off or leave it on”

She fingered the lace on the corset and chuckled.

“Well, let me know soon, cause this cost too much for you to rip!”

“Ok, we'll take it off and you can wear it again another time and we'll leave it on”

Buffy untied the laces at the front, whilst Spike watched in rapt fascination. He was glad her nerves
seemed to have disappeared. As soon as the corset was untied, Spike flung it over his shoulder and
buried his face in her breasts.

Buffy moaned at the feel of his mouth on her. Her hand reached out and clutched his hair, holding
him to her.

Whilst Spike was feasting on her breasts, his hands moved lower and found her curls, damp with
her juices. His first finger slipped in with ease, followed shortly by a second.

As soon as his fingers were buried in her, Buffy's other hand grabbed the sheets beneath her. This
was her favourite sexual act so far. Her breathing became more laboured and then Spike added a
third.

“Oh god!”

She felt him chuckle around her breast and then his fingers left her.

“No! I was nearly there”

“I know”

As they had been speaking Spike positioned himself at her entrance.

“Oh”

“Yeah. Ready?”

“Uh huh”

Spike pushed his hips forward and through her barrier. He looked down at her face and saw her
grimace in pain.

“I'm sorry. It'll be over soon. Just let me know”

Buffy shut her eyes and took a deep breath. The pain had ebbed away but she still felt
uncomfortable. She tentatively raised her hips and smiled when Spike groaned.

He let her set the pace, even though it took him a great amount of control to not plunge straight into
her. As soon as he felt her settle into a rhythm though, all bets were off.

As Buffy started to loosen, her upstrokes began to carry more force. When Spike felt this begin, he
started to thrust Every time their hips met, he ground down so that he rubbed her clit.

It wasn't long before he felt her walls start to flutter signalling her orgasm. Her nails dug into his
shoulders and drew long scratches across him.

When she felt herself falling she buried her face face in his neck, muffling her cries of passion.
The pain of her scratching his back was enough to make Spike follow her over the edge and he
collapsed on top of her. After a few minutes he finally had the strength to push himself up and roll
to the side of her with Buffy then snuggling into his side.

“Wow”

“Uh huh”

“Is that all you're gonna say?”

“Uh huh”

He chuckled at that and then pulled her closer.

“Love you Spike”

“Love you too, Buffy. Forever”

With that the satisfied lovers drifted into sleep, secure in each others arms.



TBC

Chapter 7 Backstage




Adelaide watched as her grandpa and mom talked. When she saw them hug, she walked around to the other side of the stage knowing her mom would be ok for the moment.

She couldn't believe that she was here watching her dad perform. When he finished his song, the crowd went wild and she had to smile. Well, smile bigger than she already was. For the next ten minutes she stood rooted to the spot and just watched him.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Alright you lot, I'm taking a quick break, but I'll be back in a bit!”

Spike grinned as he ran off stage and snagged the cigarette that was being held out to him.

“It just gets better and better. The crowd is amazing out there!”

“I know what you mean dude, this crowd is jumping!”

“I know, now aren't you glad that I taught you to play the drums?”

“What? You? Don't make me laugh!”

“You know I did!”

“You so did not!”

“I did too!”

“Ok, ok fine if it makes you sleep better at night, you tell people that. But I know the truth”

“Look luv, what's better, telling people I taught you, or telling them that my dad taught you the basics?”

“Yeah now that you mention it. So how you doing Billy Boy?”

“I'm getting there, how bout you?”

“Me? I'm five by five”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Spike chuckled as he walked over to the bar. After getting his drink, he walked over to a group of chairs set up and sat down.

“Hi”

“Hey there Smidge”

“Uncle Spike, you promised”

“I know but I just can't. I've tried, it's just not gonna happen”

“But Uncle Spike.....”

“No, I can't do it. And I still can't believe your mother could do that to you”

“But didn't she name me after you?”

“That's not the point”

“It so is”

“God you're just like her. Where's your dad? I'm gonna need some help”

“Wow, Uncle Spike, look over there. That's the prettiest girl I've ever seen”

“Smidge, your 12”

“Yeah and in my 12 years that's the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Oh my god, she's coming over. Quick be cool!”

As the girl in question got closer she noticed that the conversation they'd been having had stopped.

“Um, hi, I'm, um, sorry to, um, bother you, but I was wondering if I could have your autograph?”

“Course you can”

Spike took the picture she was holding out and signed his name.

“Do you want it personalized?”

“No, that's cool, thanks”

Noticing her accent Spike decided to do a bit of digging for his nephew.

“So where bout's you from?”

“I was born in California but I now live in New York”

“I used to live in California too, many years ago, little place called Sunnydale”

“How cool, wow, that's where I used to live and it's where my Grams and Auntie live!”

“That is cool! And now you live in New York? You like it there?”

“Oh yeah, I love it. I mean we visit my Grams lots but most of the time we're in New York. And I love London so far, cause it's just like NY”

There was something about this girl that was getting to Spike. She seemed so familiar.

“Have we met before?”

He watched the girl's eyes grow big before she mumbled her reply.

“No”

“Oh, it's just I swear I've seen you before. Oh god, how rude am I? Sorry, this is my nephew Smidge”

“Uncle Spike!”

“Sorry, this is William”

“It's nice to meet you. Well I better get going before my mom starts to worry. It was nice meeting you both”

As she walked away she heard Spike ask what her name is.

“It's Adelaide”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Willow is that you?”

“Xander?”

“Sweet Jesus!”

“It's been so long!”

“It has. You look amazing!”

“Thanks so do you. So what are you doing here? I didn't think you played any more?”

“I don't I'm just with the band. Ha, I love saying that! Nah, my wife's in the band”

“You're married?”

“Yep nearly 7 years now”

“Oh my god, Xander, that's great!”

“Thanks Wills. How about you? Any men fallen under Willows charm?”

“I'm a lesbian”

“Really? How's that working out for you? Please tell me all the details!”

“Xander!”

“What?”

“Behave!”

“Oh fine. But um, could you do you me a favour and not tell the Mrs?”

“Sure Xand”

“DAD”

“Oh and by the way, I have a son!”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“What's up Smidge?”

“Dad! If it's not you it's Uncle Spike!”

“Sorry kiddo”

“I've got something to tell you! I was just with Uncle Spike and I met the girl I'm gonna marry!”

“Smidge, you're 12!”

“You're just like Uncle Spike”

“You take that back!”

“Ha, no!”

“Ok, tell me all about this pretty girl”

Willow smiled as she watched Xander and his son talk. However her eyes widened when she heard the description of the girl.

“Wait! Adelaide met Spike?”

“Yeah, how do you know her name?”

“Because she's with me. What did she say to you?”

“Well she didn't speak to me just Uncle Spike. He asked her about where she was from and found out she used to live where he used to live, which is also where my mom and dad used to live. Wow that was a mouthful! Oh and she asked for his autograph”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


“So how've you been?”

“Not too bad”

“That's good. I'm sorry about the cry fest. It's just been a long time”

“It's ok Buffy. So how's your mother?”

“Yeah she's good. She still has the gallery, which is doing really well”

“Good, that's good. And how is Dawn?”

“She's cool. She's just finished her art history degree so she's doing well. Oh and engaged now!”

“Really? That's wonderful news!”

“Yeah. They're really good for each other, it's like they balance each other”

“Good, good. And what about you Buffy?”

“We already answered me Giles”

“No, Buffy. I meant are you with anyone?”

“No. Is he?”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


“Willow!”

“Adelaide! I've been looking everywhere for you!”

“Same here. Willow, you're never gonna believe it?!”

“You met your dad?”

“Damn, how'd you know?”

“A little birdy told me. But Addy, you gotta be careful sweetie, he doesn't know who you are. I know you wanna meet him properly, but you have to wait for your mom to tell him”

“I know, it's just, it was like I couldn't help it. I saw him and just had to talk to him. And plus boys are still kinda icky right now, but there was this boy with him, who was a little cute!”

Willow smiled as Adelaide launched into a full blown story of what happened between her and Spike and the quietness of the boy named Smidge.

TBC