Buffy Summers threw her pencil down on her desk with an aggrivated groan. She had been sitting there for three hours trying to finish the new song that was swimming around in her head and she just couldn't get down. Things weren't fitting, words weren't working, and there were parts that were missing. She ran her hands through her golden blonde hair trying to figure out her thoughts.

Buffy then picked up her guitar that was leaning against the desk and started to play what she knew the song would sound like. "mmmm. so i'll drive home..." Buffy sang softly. She leaned up, picked up her pencil and crossed out a word. *that's better* she thought with a smile.

Buffy had been writing songs and poems ever since she was ten years old. While some seventeen year old girls choose to write in diary's to help them, Buffy choose to write music. It also didn't help that when she was eight her older brother Angel snuck into her room and read her little diary. Ever since that day she has never kept one. She enjoyed writing music much better.

Buffy continued to strum the guitar softly when she heard her brother call from outside her door, "Hey brat!! Willow's on the phone!!"

Buffy put her guitar down as she walked to the door and opened it. Her brother was standing there with a smirk on his face holding the cordless telephone up. "Thanks loser!" Buffy exclaimed with a smile as she took the phone and closed the door.

Buffy and her brother Angel were extremely close, though they constantly called eachother names and picked on eachother, everyone knew that neither one of them would hesitate to help the other.

"Hey Wills!" Buffy said into the phone as she sat back down at her desk.

"You know, I really feel the brother and sister love that you too have," Willow exclaimed sarcastically causing Buffy to giggle.

Willow Rosenborg had been Buffy's best friend since sixth grade, when they moved to Sunnydale. Buffy was shy, not having any friends, and Willow walked right up to her, with their friend Xander, and made her feel at home. Now, they were juniors in high school and the three couldn't be more inseparable. Buffy could tell Willow anything and knew she wouldn't have to worry about anything.

"So are we Bronzing tonight?" Willow asked.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm trying to finish this one song and it's just not working." Buffy said as she leaned back onto the chair.

"Well, going out and letting loose would be an awesome way to open up your mind." Willow stated.

Buffy thought about it for a few seconds and said, "You know what, you're right! Come by around eight and we'll go out for some Bronzy goodness!"

"Yay!!" Willow exclaimed happily on the other end.

The two friends talked for a couple more minutes then quickly said goodbye. Just as Buffy set the phone down on the desk she heard the familiar sound of a 1958 Dodge Desoto pulling up into the drive way which caused her smile to grow wide. Buffy ran over to the window and looked out before nearly running out of her room and down the stairs. Buffy pushed out the front door and jogged down her porch.

"Hey Spike!!"

Spike closed his car door and smiled as he saw the little blonde jogging towards him.

William 'Spike' Bradley was Angel's best friend. He had moved to Sunnydale from London his freshman year of highschool with his mother. One of the first people he met was Angel Summers and they immiadately became friends. Not many people understood their friendship, with Angel being the captian of the football team and Spike being the school rebel, with his bleached blonde hair, his long leather duster, and his tendency to always wear black, but they got along and understood each other. Then Spike met Buffy, Angel had told him about his bratty little sister and Spike was more then willing to never meet her, until he saw her.

He went to Angel's house one day after school and Buffy answered the door. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, with her golden blonde hair and her emerald green eyes. Spike was immediately drawn to her. But those feelings soon faded away, she was off limits for two reasons. One, she was an eighth grader, and he was manly freshman. Two, she was Angel's little sister. His feelings soon turned into friendship, which soon turned into a brotherly love. Buffy was like his own little sister now, and they were very close.

"Hey pet!" he said with a smile as Buffy jumped into his arms for big hug. "How's the song writing coming along?" Spike asked as they pulled away.

Spike had been the one to buy Buffy her guitar on her fifteenth birthday, and the one who had tought her to actually play it. He was actually one of the few people Buffy had let hear her songs.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders and said, "Ok I guess. I'm having a few blocks right now, but I'm going to the bronze tonight to clear all that up! You should come with us!!"

"Come with you where?" Angel asked as he walked up to his friend and his little sister.

"The Bronze, Willow and I are going. And probably Xander," Buffy stated.

"Sure pet, I'll go." Buffy's smile grew wider. "What about you peaches?" Spike asked.

"No, not me, I have a date with Darla tonight."

Buffy smacked his arm and said, "You suck!!"

"I thought you liked Darla?!" Angel asked.

Darla was the captian of the cheerleading squad, but was not a total bitch like the others. She actually seemed to have a brain.

"I do, but still!" Buffy whined.

Angel nodded his head with a smile. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Ok, let's get going, gotta be back in time to get ready. Tell mom I went out," Angel said as he leaned down and gave his sister a kiss on the cheek.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I'm message gal."

"Call me when you guys are leaving and I'll meet you there," Spike said as he got back into his car.

Buffy just nodded again and waved bye. She watched as the car pulled out of the driveway and let out a deep sigh. Spike was a great friend to her, she could tell him everything, just like she could tell Willow.

Now if she could only get up the courage to tell him she was in love with him, everything would go great.

Buffy sat at a table in the Bronze sipping on her diet Pepsi. She was there with her friends, Willow and Xander, she had called Spike when she left but he didn't answer, and now he was no where to be seen. Buffy looked up towards the door for the twenty time in the last five minutes and was disappointed yet again when she didn't see her friend.

"Sorry we're boring you Buff," Xander said from beside her. Xander Harris was another one of her good friends. When they first met, he had a crush on her, sometimes she thought he still did, but after she explained that she didn't feel that way for him, he seemed to have stopped trying. Xander went out with Cordelia Chase, known as 'Queen C' to the entire school. She was a cheerleader and all around bitch. She tried to be nice, but even when she tried to be nice it came out as an insult. But that was Cordelia, and they had all learned to deal with it. At the begining of the school year, everyone had found out that they were secretly seeing each other, they became public much to everyone's confusion, and they had been together ever since.

Buffy looked back at her friends and gave them a guilty look. "Oh, I'm sorry guys it's just Spike said he would come, and he hasn't called me back, I‘m just a little worried, he always calls me like right back.”

The red head smiled at her friend and said, "It's ok Buffy. I do it all the time too looking for Oz." Buffy smiled at her friend.

Willow had been dating Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne for a little over a year. He was the lead guitarest of a band called 'Dingo's Ate My Baby'. They were the hottest local band around. Anybody who was anybody knew who they were.

"Where is Oz anyway, band practice?" Buffy asked. Willow nodded her head with a huge smile. Willow loved that fact that she was going out with a muscian for one reason, and one reason only. It made her parents furious.

"So Buff, you going to sign up for the open Mic night next month?" Xander asked as he threw a pretzel into his mouth.

Next month the Bronze was going to start to have an 'Open Mic Night' where ameture muscians could come play their music and sing their songs.

"I don't know. Maybe, but I don't know if I want anyone to hear my songs ya know?" Buffy said as she swirled her straw.

"Why because they are all about Spike?" Willow said with a smile. Buffy glared at her friend then checked her cell phone.

No missed calls.

"No. Just... I don't know." Buffy said with a shrug.

"You should do it Buffy, you'd have so much fun." Willow said with a smile. Buffy looked up at her friend and smiled.

"You know what, you're right. I'm going to do it!!"

Willow clapped her hands and squealed. "Yay! I can't wait!!" Buffy laughed and shook her head. "What song you think you're going to sing?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the only one that isn't about Spike!" Xander said with a smirk. Buffy punched him hard in the arm. "Oww!!" he cried out with a laugh as he rubbed his arm.

Buffy looked towards the entrance again but didn't see the person she wanted to see. Buffy let out an aggravating growl and said, "God, this is ridiculous!! I can't do this anymore. I need to just like tell him how I feel or get over him!"

"I vote for the first one!" Willow said as she raised her arm. Xander nodded and said, "Yeah me too. Because you tried the second, and we all saw how that worked out.. OW! Stop hitting me!!"

Buffy shook her head and said, "No. No, I can't no good can come from me telling him my feelings."

"But holding these feelings back can't be good either," Xander explained.

"What if he feels the same way?" "What if he doesn't?" Buffy asked with a frown.

"You'll never know until you try!" Willow said to her friend.

They had all pushed Buffy to say something to Spike, but she never did. Everyone knew about her feelings for Spike, even Angel, everyone but Spike, the one person that should know. She wanted to tell him so bad, she dreamed about what could happen. He could admit that he in fact loved her too and they would be happy and get married. Then there were the other dreams where she would tell him and he would laugh in her face. Those were more of nightmares.

Buffy thought for a second before saying, "You know what, you guys are right. I need to tell him, I mean, he's graduating this year, and probably going off to college, then I won't see him. And I'll totally regret it if I don't tell him how I feel, so... I'm going to tell him!"

Both Xander and Willow looked at Buffy with complete shock. Of all the times they told her to tell Spike how she felt, she always came up with a reason not to. She didn’t want to ruin the friendship, the feelings would pass, or she was just plain scared. Now, she wasn’t giving any excuses, she was actually going to do it.

"Really?" Xander asked skeptically.

"Yeah! I'm ready!" Buffy exclaimed with a smile. Willow hugged Buffy as she said, "That's great Buffy! I'm so happy for you!!"

Buffy continued to smile. “So when are you going to tell him?” Xander asked.

“Well, I guess now is as good as time as ever.”

Before Buffy could say anything Willow had taken Buffy’s cell phone out of her pure and shoved it in her face. Buffy looked at the phone before grabbing it and taking a deep breath.

*OK, I can do this* Buffy thought as she dialed the familiar number.

‘Its Spike, leave a message after...’

Buffy hung up the phone. “Oh please don’t tell me you changed your mind!!” Willow said sadly.

Buffy looked up at her and smiled. “No, it just ugh, went to his voicemail. It’s ok, I’ll tell him tonight when he calls me.”

Both Willow and Xander gave her a look. Buffy rolled her eyes and said, “I promise guys. I will. Now, let's go dance!!”

***

"So you haven't talked to him?" Buffy asked her brother as they pulled up to the school.

"For the tenth time, no Buffy. He dropped me off last night and I haven't talked to him since." Angel said as they both got out of the car and walked towards the school. “Maybe something came up”

Buffy kept quiet. Spike never showed up at the Bronze last night and then never called her for their normal late night chat. And his phone went straight to voicemail the entire time.

"Yeah, but he always calls me back and ALWAYS calls me at night,” Buffy whined.

Angel let out a sigh and looked at his sister. "Buff, maybe he was just busy ok. You'll see him today, ask him."

Buffy just nodded to her brother, still looking depressed. "Look, I'm going to find Darla, you going to be ok?" Angel asked as he put his arm around her shoulder.

Buffy let out a sigh and smiled weakly at her brother. "Yeah, I'll be alright. You’re probably right anyway, he was probably just busy."

Angel smiled and gave his sister a kiss on the forehead. "Alright then, I'll see you at lunch."

Buffy gave him another smile as he walked down the hall. So many thoughts were going through Buffy's head as she made her way to her locker. She still wanted to tell Spike how she felt but she wanted to do it in a more private location, not the halls of Sunnydale High, where anybody and everybody was going to be able to hear. Buffy opened her locker, head still filled with thoughts. What would he say, how would he react? Was she doing the right thing? But all those thoughts were interrupted when she heard his voice, "Hey kitten,”

Buffy turned around and smiled. All bad thoughts were gone from her mind and she was completely happy to be near him.

"Hey!!" she exclaimed as she gave him a hug.

"Sorry I didn‘t call you last night something came up,” Spike said as he rubbed the back of his head.

“It’s ok, after like the second time I tried you, I figured as much,”

*Try like twentieth*

Buffy closed her locker and held her books to her chest. "So? What happened?" Buffy asked softly.

Spike looked up at the wall at the clock and said, "Bloody hell. I gotta go pet, I have to talk to Ms. Spencer about my grade, ugh, you going to be by the bleachers for fifth period?"

Buffy smiled and said, "Yeah, actually I wanted to talk to you about something so.."

Spike started to walk backwards and smiled at her, "Cool! I have to talk to you about something too,”

Buffy’s smiled went wide. “What about?” she asked trying to hide the fact that she wanted to jump up and down with joy.

“Gotta tell you about last night. Met the most amazing girl!"

Spike gave her a wink, turned around and walked down the hall. Buffy watched him walk away with a look of complete horror on her face. He met someone.... Buffy blinked back tears that were forming in her eyes and tried not to freak out. She swallowed the lump in her throat, not even noticing Willow walking up to her.

"Hey! Did you tell him?!" Willow asked with a smile.

Buffy looked up at her friend without saying a word. Willow's smile faded when she saw the tears in her friends eyes.

"Oh boy."

***

Buffy walked down the hallway towards the chemistry lab. After a long talk with Willow, she cried and came to a realization. She had to talk to her brother. Buffy walked into the lab and up to the teacher.

"Buffy, hello. How can I help you today?" a older man in a white lab coat, wearing glasses asked her.

Buffy smiled at him sweetly and said, "Hello Mr. Henry, I was just wondering if I could talk to my brother Angel for a minute?”

The teacher smiled at her and nodded. “Sure Buffy, but only a minute, he has to finish his assignment.” Buffy smiled at the teacher and looked over at her brother.

Angel looked up at her with a confused look. Buffy motioned to out in the hallway, causing Angel to jump out of his seat and follow her.

Angel shut the door behind him and asked, “Buff, what’s the matter? Did something happen?”

Buffy turned around and looked at Angel with tears in her eyes. Angel’s heart skipped a beat.

“Is it Mom?” “Did you know?” Buffy asked weakly.

Angel looked at her confused. “What are you talking about?”

“This morning, when I was asking you about Spike. Did you know he met someone last night?” Buffy asked as a tear escaped her eyes.

Angel swallowed and looked down. “Yeah. I knew.” he admitted softly.

Buffy just looked at her brother sadly. Tears were silently coming down her face. Angel looked up at his little sister and sighed. He hated to see her cry. “Buff, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Angel, I was going to tell him how I felt today.” Buffy said softly.

Angel felt like a bigger ass. He took his sister in his arms and hugged her. “Buffy, I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”

Buffy cried softly into her brother’s shoulder. Her whole world was falling apart. “Is everything ok?” a female voice asked from behind the siblings.

Both Angel and Buffy turned around to see a petit blonde coming out of the classroom with a concerned look on her face. Buffy smiled weakly and whipped her eyes as she pulled away.

“Hey Darla. Yeah, everything’s fine. Buffy just.. ugh,” Angel hesitated.

Darla knew of Buffy’s feelings for Spike but he wasn’t sure if Buffy wanted her to know why she was crying.

“I was going to tell Spike how I felt today, but it seems he’s found someone.” Buffy answered. Darla looked at the young girl sadly. “Aw, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

Darla walked up to Buffy and gave her a hug. “Maybe it’s not serious, you know Spike. He never commits” Darla said as she pulled away.

Buffy smiled and nodded. “You didn’t see the look on his face. He looked completely happy.” Darla gave Buffy another smile.

“Have you talked to him?” Angel asked. Buffy shook her head. “No, he said he was going to tell me about it during fifth.”

“You should still tell him Buffy, you never know. It might change things,” Darla insisted. Buffy thought for a second then said, “Yeah maybe. I’m sorry to bother you during class. I just needed to talk to you.”

Angel smiled at her sister and gave her another hug. “Anytime sis. I’ll see you at lunch.”

Buffy nodded gave Darla another hug then walked down the hallway back to her classroom. Darla looked back over at Angel. “You knew didn’t you?”

Angel just looked to the ground. Darla slapped Angel in the arm. “Ow!!” He cried as he held his arm.

“You deserved it!”

Buffy waited on the bleachers as the bell signaling fourth period was over rang out. Fourth period was her AP English class that she shared with Spike. Usually, no power on earth could keep her from that class but today she just didn’t feel up to it. She spent the better half of her day trying to smile and laugh around people so they wouldn’t know anything was wrong, when secretly sneaking to the bathroom in every class so she could cry her eyes out.

Buffy didn’t know why she felt this way. Maybe Darla was right, maybe it wasn’t serious. *But his face* Buffy thought sadly. He looked so.. happy. He never looked that way before. Buffy’s thoughts were interrupted when the second bell rang, signaling fifth period had started. She let out a sigh as she watched the gym class run around the field, Spike should be there any minute.

***

Spike walked out of the school and immediately lit a cigarette. Buffy wasn’t in fourth period which was weird. She never skipped AP English. She loved that class. *I hope nothing happened* he thought as he walked towards the bleachers. Today was a very sunny and hot day. Luckily, he left his duster in his car and wore his red button down shirt over his black t-shirt, so the sun wasn’t killing him because of his all black outfit.

Spike took a second drag of his cigarette before throwing it to the ground. He knew Buffy hated the smoking, so he never did it around her. ‘Damn cancer sticks! Thanks for second hand stinky ness Spike!’ She would always say. Spike smiled at the memory, Buffy always had a way of making him smile. Spike looked up when he came in view of the bleachers and stopped in his tracks.

There was Buffy, sitting on one of the bleachers watching the other teens running around the field. She was wearing a pair of gray pants with a white tank top. Her golden hair had waves in it, with her bangs stopping right above the black sunglasses she was wearing and it was slightly curled at the end. She looked.. *effulgent* Spike thought.

He stood there staring at her with a weird look on his face. She was beautiful. Spike shook the thought right out of his head. Buffy was one of his best friends, and Angel’s little sister. Sure she was pretty. But that’s it. Buffy looked up when she heard Spike approach and plastered on her best fake smile.

“Hey!”

“Hey pet, where were you last period?” Spike asked as he sat down next to her. Buffy blinked back tears, happy that she remembered to bring her sunglasses.

“I, ugh, I didn’t feel good. So I went to the nurse.”

“Oh,” Spike said as he looked at his hands.

“Are you mad at me?” Buffy snapped her head up. “Why would I be mad at you?”

Spike shrugged his shoulders and said, “Because I didn’t call you last night.”

Spike hated when Buffy was mad at him. Last year Spike had pissed Buffy off by making fun of her outfit and she hadn’t talked to him for a week. He tried everything to get her to talk to him and she wouldn’t budge. Whenever he called her cell phone she wouldn’t answer, when he called the house she hung up, when he’d actually show up she locked herself in her room and the worst was at school, she would completely ignore him as he followed her around apologizing to her over and over again. She finally started to talk to him again when he climbed up onto her roof in the middle of the night, tapped on the window and gave her a little pink stuffed pig that she now calls Mr. Gordo.

Buffy let out a fake laugh and said, “Are you kidding me? No, Spike. It’s totally cool." Spike smiled at her.

"So...”

*time to act like the best friend*

“Who’s this someone?!”

Buffy’s heart broke all over again when she saw his face light up.

“Buffy, she’s amazing. I met her yesterday at the mall. We were up all night, if you know what I mean,” Spike said with a wink as he nudged her with his elbow.

Buffy swallowed back a sob as she smiled, thanking herself once again for wearing the sunglasses.

“She’s like just, god I don’t even know how to explain it. She’s my dark princess. I’ve never felt this way before you know?”

Buffy just nodded her head. “Wow, Spike. That’s.... that’s great. I’m really happy for you.” Buffy choked out.

“You’re brother doesn’t like her though. As soon as he saw her said she was nuts, but Peaches doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Buffy inwardly jumped up and down. It took a lot for Angel to like someone, and he usually had a good feeling about people. If he didn’t like her, Buffy was sure to hate her.

"But I want you to meet her too, you're opinion matters to me! More then Peaches, but don't tell him that." Buffy let out a little laugh and looked down.

“What’s her name?” Buffy asked.

On the outside she looked like someone who was completely happy for her friend, but on the inside she was torn apart. Spike smiled and looked at her. “Drusilla.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Drusilla?” she said in an almost mocking tone.

Spike looked over at her with a blank expression, “What?”

Buffy put her hands up as to surrender and said, “Nothing. It’s just ugh..”

*Stupid name*

“.. interesting name.”

Spike just nodded his head. They sat there in silence for a couple seconds before Buffy said, “So, I guess this is the real deal for you huh?”

Spike smiled again and nodded. “Yeah. I’m so happy. Just, god, I’m falling.”

“You’re falling?” Buffy asked sadly. “It’s been one day.”

“I know, it’s weird, feels like it’s been longer though, it‘s like I only want to be hers. You know how that is with some people”

Buffy looked over at the group of teens again. *Yeah, completely* She thought to herself.

“Actually I don’t.” Buffy said with a smile and shrugged.

As far as Spike knew, Buffy never knew what love was like. She barely went on dates, no guy really held any interest for her.

“Buffy you should really get out there and find somebody. You’re a great girl, I’m sure if you put yourself out there, there would be plenty of guys lined up waiting for me and peaches to kick their asses.”

Buffy smirked and looked down at her hands. She shrugged her shoulders again and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Riley Finn did ask me out last week. I think I might take him up on that offer.”

Spike’s stomach suddenly did flips. Riley Finn was known for his community service and his passion for joining the army after graduation and the thought of her with Solider Boy made him want to scream.

*Must be brotherly instinct* Spike told himself.

Spike coughed and said, “That’s great pet.”

Buffy looked over at Spike and smiled. They sat there in silence for what seemed like forever until Spike looked at her and asked, “Oh yeah. You said you wanted to talk to me about something?” Buffy froze.

She was hoping that he would have forgotten that she said that. *Ok Buffy, you can do this* she thought to herself.

“Actually,” Buffy began. “I wanted to tell you that..”

She took a deep breath and looked up at him.

“I’m signing up for the ‘Open Mic Night’ at the Bronze next month, and I would love it if you could help me work out some stuff.”

*I chickened out! Big chicken!!*

Spike smiled. “Of course Kitten! I’m so proud of you!” Spike leaned over and hugged Buffy to him.

She smiled sadly and wrapped her arms around him, trying her hardest not to break down and cry.

***

Buffy walked to her locker slowly replaying the whole day through her mind. She had to listen to Spike go on about Drusilla all through fifth period then all through lunch. Everyone tried to get him to change the subject but even when they started a new conversation, he brought her up. Buffy conveniently lost her appetite and left the cafeteria, claiming not to feel well again.

Buffy opened her locker, listening to kids walk up and down the hallway, talking about making plans since school was over. Buffy stopped putting her books in her locker and looked at the pictures tapped to the locker door. There were many different ones of all her friends, her and her brother, her brother and Darla, and one of just her and Spike. At the time, they hadn’t known it was being taken. Buffy was sitting on the edge of the pool in her backyard with her legs in the pool while Spike was in the pool in front of her, facing her and his chin resting on his arms that were crossed over her thighs. They were looking at each other smiling. Buffy fingered the picture, looking at it sadly. It was taken over the summer break, when Spike wasn’t going crazy over some other girl that wasn’t Buffy.

“Hey Buffy!” Buffy jumped when she heard the voice behind her and turned around to see a tall boy with broad shoulders standing before her, holding onto the strap of his book bag.

Buffy put her hand on her chest and let out a little chuckle. “Oh, god. Riley you scared me,” Buffy breathed.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to. I was just wondering if I could walk you, ugh, I guess to your brothers car”

Buffy smiled up at him. “Sure.”

She turned around, grabbed her purse from her locker, slammed it shut and turned back to Riley. “So what’s up?” Buffy asked as they walked down the hallway.

“I was actually, ugh, wondering if you, ugh, thought about what I asked you.”

Buffy pressed her lips together. Truth was that hadn’t thought about. With her feelings for Spike, she never gave another guy a second thought.

*But now, he’s with, whatever her dumb name is*

Buffy put her sunglasses on as they stepped outside and stopped. Riley looked at her confused. “You know what?” Buffy began as she turned to him. “Why not? I’m sure we’ll have a great time!!”

Riley smiled widely. “Really?!”

Buffy smiled and said, “Yeah. When would you like to go out?” Riley was ecstatic, he never thought she would actually say yes. “Um, how about this weekend?”

“Sounds good to me,” Buffy said with a smile.

“Ugh, great. Um, maybe I could like have your number and I could call you to figure everything out.”

Buffy nodded. “Got a pen?”

***

“I don’t know man, just, there’s something about her.” Angel said as he closed his trunk and walked to the side of his car where his friend stood, leaning against the passenger side.

“She’s amazing, just wait until you hang out with her.”

Angel rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Damn it, where is she? She knows we have to go to the gallery to help mom.” Angel said as he looked around for his sister.

Spike looked around with a cigarette in his mouth. “Oh, there she is.” Angel said.

Spike looked up to find Buffy standing there, smiling, laughing, with... Solider boy?! Spike stood straight up as he watched the scene in front of him. Spike’s jaw clenched when he saw her write something down on a piece of paper and hand it to the boy. Then she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek and started to walk towards Angel’s car.

Angel watched the scene in front of him with amusement. “Wow, looks like Buffy is finally saying yes to Finn. That’s good. He’s not a bad guy.”

Spike’s head snapped back towards Angel. “Not a bad guy, he’s a complete wanker.”

Angel just laughed and shook his head. “What’s so funny?” Angel just laughed again and shook his head.

By now Buffy walked up to the boys looking at them suspiciously. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, ready to go Buff?” Angel asked as he walked around to the drivers side of the car. “Sure, if I don’t die from Spike’s second hand stinky ness” Buffy said as she waved a hand in front of her face with a look of pure disgust.

Spike rolled his eyes and threw the cigarette to the ground. “So what were you and Captain Cardboard talking about?”

Buffy looked down, trying to calm her nerves because she was so close to him. “I told you he asked me out, so I said yeah.”

Spike just nodded his head. Before he could say anything else, Angel called from inside the car, “Come on Buffy! Mom will kill us if we’re late”

Buffy rolled her eyes and nodded. “I’ll see you later Spike,” Buffy said as she moved around him and into the car. Spike just nodded.

“I’ll call you later man!’ Angel called out before pulling away.

Spike watched as the car sped away and tried to control his stomach that was doing flips. The phone started ringing in his pocket, he took it out and smiled.

“’ello my dark queen.”

Buffy laid her head back onto her pillow as she held the phone to her ear. She looked over at her clock that read 1:03 a.m. Buffy closed her eyes and continued to listen. Another night of Spike telling Buffy about his wonderful date with Drusilla.

“God, Buffy it’s just, great. I’m so in love right now. I really think I did it right this time. Not like before with that stupid bint Cecily.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at that name. Cecily was the girl Spike had a crush on when he first came to America.

“God, haven’t heard that name in forever.” Buffy said as she picked at her nails.

Spike laughed. “Yeah I know.. shit. Hold on pet,”

Buffy heard the phone move then a muffle noise. She waited in silence a couple seconds until Spike finally came back on.

“Sorry luv, thought I heard my mum. Don’t feel like hearing her yell at me for being on the phone late on a school night.”

Buffy smiled. She couldn’t count the number of times she or Spike had gotten caught on the phone by their parents and got yelled at. It was like a tradition for them.

“So I want you to come to stop by the Espresso Pump Friday so you can finally meet Dru.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. It had been a month since Spike had met Dru and he had been desperately trying to get Buffy to meet her, but Buffy always had an excuse as to why she couldn’t. Her and Riley were dating regularly, hoping that it would help her get over the pain of not having Spike. But it didn’t. Buffy’s heart broke every time she saw him, and she still thought about him every night.

“Ugh, sorry I can’t. Riley’s taking me out that night.”

Spike’s jaw clenched. He didn’t understand why she was still going out with that wanker. He also didn’t understand why when he saw Riley kiss her, his whole body filled with rage and he wanted nothing more then to kick the shit out of him. Brotherly care he told himself. But that didn’t explain why he started to have dreams of Buffy at night at the sight of her made his jeans tight. But he refused to admit that to himself and told everyone he was just worried about her. Spike even made his feelings about him perfectly clear to Buffy, but it didn’t seem to faze her.

“Buffy why are you going out with him? You know I don’t like him.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Spike there is no reason for you to not like him. Please, he means a lot to me,”

*No he really doesn’t*

“And so do you,”

*You really do*

“So will you just please try and be nice?”

Spike let out a sigh. *Since when did he mean a lot to her?* Spike thought with rage. *I‘m the only one that she‘s allowed to car about like that*

Spike laid there in shock. He didn‘t know how to react to his own thoughts, so he did what he always did when he had confusing thoughts about Buffy, he brought up Drusilla.

“Sure pet, as long as you come meet Dru Friday after your date!”

Buffy bit her lip, how was she going to get out of this. Then Buffy heard Angel’s bedroom door opened and smiled. “Shit, Spike my mom’s up. Gotta go, bye!”

Before Spike could say anything Buffy hung up the phone. Ok, so it was Angel that was up and not her mom, but Buffy couldn’t think of an excuse as to why she couldn’t meet Drusilla. Buffy put the phone on the bedside table and stared at the framed pictures. There was one of her Xander and Willow joking around. Then another of her, Spike and Angel. She was standing in the middle of the two as they each had an arm around her. Buffy laid back down as tears came to her eyes.

*Great* she thought. *Another night of crying myself to sleep*

Buffy hugged Mr. Gordo to her chest as she quietly cried herself to sleep.

***

It was now Friday and Buffy walked down the hallway heading towards her AP English. She had avoided Spike as much as possible since their last phone call Sunday night. She ignored his phone calls at night, claiming the next day that she had been passed out tired, and had only met him on the bleachers on Wednesday during fifth period, using the excuse that she had a lot of studying to do. She could tell that Spike was hurt but she couldn’t seem to care. It was hurting her to much to here him talk about Dru.

Buffy took a deep breath before walking into her English class and taking her usual seat in the back next to Spike. When Spike saw her his face lit up.

“Hey kitten.”

*God, why does he continue to torture me with the cute nicknames* Buffy thought as she smiled to her friend.

“So pet, you coming by the bleachers next period?”

Buffy tried to hide her blush as he continued to call her names. Then a thought hit her that made her entire world stop. He was probably calling Drusilla those name’s as well. Buffy frowned and looked down at her notebook.

“Luv..?” Spike asked trying to get her attention. Buffy snapped out of her thoughts at put on an award winning smile. “Um, can’t sorry. I promised Willow I’d meet her next period”

Before Spike could question her, the teacher walked into and began class. Spike just nodded and turned in his seat to look forward. He knew Willow had a class next period, and there was no way in hell Willow ever skipped class. She loved school way to much.

*So why is she lying to me?* Spike thought to himself.

He looked over at Buffy who was writing something down in her notebook. Didn’t look like school work, he got a better look at what she was writing when she moved her arm and it made him feel like a complete ass. Her songs. He hadn’t asked her about her music since he had met Dru, and they haven’t had the guitar sessions in a while. Then it finally hit him, this Saturday was Buffy’s Open Mic Night, and he hasn’t helped her with anything. And to make matters worse, Drusilla had asked him to go out with her Saturday night and he said yes.

Spike quickly scribbled something down on piece of paper, folded it and looked up to see the teacher wasn’t paying attention. When the teacher turned her back to the class Spike quickly laid the note onto Buffy’s desk. Buffy looked down at the note then back up at Spike. She picked the note up, hiding it from the view of the teacher and read it.

'Are you mad at me?'

Buffy let out a deep sigh. *No,* she thought. *Not mad. Just so much in love with you I can’t think straight.* Buffy wrote down her response and handed it back to him when the teacher wasn’t looking. Spike unfolded the paper and read it.

'You know, you’re a paranoid freak. Always thinking
I’m mad at you. You need help! There is no reason
for me to be mad at you!'

Spike smiled at how she made fun of him. Buffy was the only person on the face of the earth that could make fun of him and he would either laugh, or agree. Anyone else would get an ass beating. Buffy looked over at Spike and saw he was writing her back, but was writing a lot.

Spike felt eyes on him and looked up to see Buffy looking at him with a questioning look.

“Writing a book?” she whispered with a smile. Spike chuckled.

“Ms. Summers, Mr. Bradley. Do I have to separate you two?”

Both Buffy and Spike put their heads down and mumbled, “No ma’am.”

The teacher went back to her lesson and turned around just in time to miss Spike hand Buffy the note back. Buffy sunk down in her chair, using the kid in front of her as a shield while she read the note.

'I’m sorry I haven’t been coming play the guitar with you
ive just been real busy and im a complete wanker for not helping you im sorry. so are you nervous about tomorrow? Did you pick a song?'

Buffy smiled down at the note. He hadn’t said anything about her performing at the Bronze since she had asked him to help her practice. But he never did, always had a date with Drusilla, completely forgetting about her. But she didn’t say anything, to afraid to, but more importantly, to heartbroken to. It was like she was completely written out of the picture now that Dru was around. Buffy wrote back and handed it to him quickly.

'You have no idea!! I’m like panic mode
yeah, this song i wrote a while back called DEAR DIARY'

Spike looked down at the note confused. He never heard of that song before, and he knew all of Buffy’s songs. He wanted to tell her that he couldn’t make it but not in a note. So he decided to wait until after class. Buffy took the note back from him and read it.

'I never heard of that one, can I read it?'

Buffy looked past the note and into her notebook. The song was really about him and normally she would die before she even told him it existed. But ever since his dating Drusilla, and her dating Riley, anything she had written about him she could easily say was written about Riley, and he would never know the difference. Or even the fact that she was planning on breaking up with Riley next period, one of the reasons why she couldn’t meet him next period. But she wouldn’t tell him that. Buffy looked over her notebook for a few seconds then closed it. She handed it over to Spike, not having to hide it because if the teacher saw that move, she would just think Buffy was letting Spike copy some notes.

Spike smiled as he grabbed the notebook and immediately started to read from it. Spike flipped through the pages of songs he had already read, looking for the new ones. He stopped when he found the song she was talking about and read it over.

***

Dear Diary, Today I saw a boy and I wondered if he noticed me, he took my breath away.
Dear Diary, I can't get him off my mind and it scares me 'cause I've never felt this way.
No one in this world knows me better than you do, so diary I'll confide in you.

Dear Diary, Today I saw that boy as he walked by I thought he smiled at me,
And I wondered does he know what's in my heart?
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe.
Should I tell him how I feel or would that scare him away?
Diary, tell me what to do, please tell me what to say.

Dear Diary, One touch of his hand, now I can't wait to see that boy again.
He smiled, and I thought my heart could fly.
Diary, do you think that we'll be more than friends?

***

Spike was in complete awe. She had gotten even better then he remembered. But when he felt happy at how good she was, his stomach did flips and his jaw clenched. Who had she written this song about? Was it about Riley? She really felt that way about him? Spike squeezed his fist thinking of Buffy falling in love with that guy.

He closed his eyes to try and calm himself down. He suddenly pictured sitting in his lap smiling down at him, then leaning down and kissing him softly on his lips. Spike’s eyes snapped open. That fantasy happened during the day, when he was awake, and he couldn’t deny it. Spike didn’t look at her for the rest of the class.

***

Buffy tapped her pencil nervously against her desk. There were only three minutes left in the class and Spike still had her notebook. She had tried to get his attention but he was completely ignoring her. Maybe he didn’t like them. That would kill her. His opinion mattered so much.

The class bell finally rang, causing Buffy to jump a little. She stood up as she gathered her things and turned towards Spike. He was still gathering his stuff when she walked towards him.

“So...?” Buffy asked nervously.

Spike looked up at Buffy trying to push the thought of her kissing him aside. “Um,” Spike saw the nerouvness in her eyes and pushed all his bad feelings aside. “It’s great pet.”

Buffy let out a little sigh. “Good, it’ll probably sound better tomorrow. So I was wondering if you could drive tomorrow, you know, help me calm my nerves.” Buffy said as they walked out of the classroom.

Spike rubbed the back of his head. She was going to be so upset with him and he was going to hate it. “Actually pet, I...”

“Buffy hey!”

Both Spike and Buffy turned around to see Riley walking up to them. Spike had to use every once of control he had to hold himself back when he saw Riley walk up, put his big pawls around Buffy’s waist and kiss her.

“Mm,” Buffy said against Riley’s lips and lightly pushed him away. “Hey Riley.” Riley turned to Spike and smiled. “What’s up.”

Spike sent him a dirty look and mentally ripped his head off when he saw Riley hold Buffy by her waist. Buffy stood there uncomfortable. “Um.. so ugh.. is that cool Spike?”

Spike clenched his jaw as he turned his attention back to Buffy. Suddenly, he didn’t care if she got upset about him going or not. If she wanted to sit there and sing about her ponce of a boyfriend, then he wasn’t going to deal with it.

“I can’t make it tomorrow. Drusilla and I have a date. Cya” Spike said coldly then walked down the hallway.

Buffy watched Spike go with tears in her eyes. How could he be so cold to her.

“What’s tomorrow?” Riley asked bringing Buffy out of her thoughts.

“But I thought....” Riley trailed off.

“I’m really sorry Riley. I just didn’t want to lead you on anymore,” Buffy said softly.

They were sitting in the library, trying to keep their voices down. “Is it because of Spike?”

Buffy’s head snapped up. “What? No, why would..”

“I know you’re in love with him Buffy,” Riley said as he looked at his hands. Buffy sat there in silence with her eyes wide. “Everyone knows. Except for Spike really. So it’s ok,” Riley said as he looked up at her.

Buffy stayed silent and looked down. Was is that obvious? And if it was, then why didn’t Spike know?

“I’m sorry,” she said softly again.

Riley shrugged his shoulders with a little smile. “It’s ok Buffy. But I just want you to know one thing,” Buffy looked up at him. “You’re an amazing girl. Anybody would be glad to have you, and if Spike can’t see that... then there’s something wrong with him.”

Buffy smiled sweetly at him and said, “Thank you.”

“And also,” Riley stated as he stood up and grabbed his back pack. “If you ever need anyone to make him jealous, I’ll always be here.”

Buffy let out a little chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Riley smiled at her again then turned around and walked out of the library.

***

“So he just said he wasn’t coming and left?” Willow asked shocked.

“Yup,” Buffy said from her spot in front of mirror.

Buffy was standing in front of her full length mirror putting the finishing touches to her makeup while Willow and Darla sat on the edge of her bed. It was finally Saturday and they were watching Buffy get ready to go to the Bronze.

“That loser. You know, he was in a bad mood all day yesterday too. I hope he was beating himself up for being an ass!” Darla exclaimed. Willow nodded her head and said, “Yeah! What the hell’s his problem anyway? You didn’t do anything to him, if anything he..”

“Willow” Buffy warned as she looked at her through the mirror. “Sorry.”

“Besides, with him not there I can actually sing one of my new songs I’m really excited about.” Buffy claimed as she walked over to her desk and picked up a piece of paper.

“Oh, but I liked Dear Diary!” Darla said as she took the piece of paper from Buffy. Willow leaned over Darla’s shoulder and they read the page silently together.

“Wow Buff! That’s awesome!” Willow squealed. Darla smiled up at Buffy and handed her back the piece of paper. “Yeah, sweetie. I take back my original statement. I like this one better!”

Buffy laughed as she put the paper back down and went back to the front of the mirror. “So how do I look?” Buffy asked as she inspected her outfit in the mirror.

Her makeup was minimal, except for the dark eye shadow that gave her a smokey look. Her hair was down in soft curls, falling a just below her shoulders. She wore a black lace spaghetti tank top that accented her white mini skirt.

“Very good!” Willow said with a smile. Darla smiled and nodded, “I really like your shoes!”

Buffy smiled and looked down at her feet. She wore black open toed heels with ribbons that crisscrossed up her legs, and tied in the back.

“Yes, very sexy!” Willow said with a smile. “Yup, you’re brother’s going to hate them!” Darla said with another smile.

Buffy laughed and closed her closet door. “Does he know about what Spike did?” Willow asked as both her and Darla got up from the bed and followed Buffy to the door.

“Don’t you think if he did Spike would be in a lot of pain right now?” Darla asked with a giggle.

All three girls laughed as they opened the door to reveal Angel standing there with his hand raised to knock. Angel looked his sister over and his eyes went wide.

“Oh hell no! Get back in there and change! You’re not going anywhere in THAT outfit, or THOSE shoes!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh, god Angel. Please, I’m not a little kid anymore.”

Angel nodded his head and said, “Yes you are. You’re my little kid sister, and you’re not wearing that I forbid it!” Darla stepped in front of Buffy putting her hand on her boyfriends chest.

“Leave her alone hunnie, she looks hot.”

“I don’t want my sister to look hot!”

“Gee thanks Angel!” Buffy whined.

Angel just shook his head. “Whatever, hurry up and get changed because Cordy and Xander just got here."

Buffy rolled her eyes again and said, "Angel for the last time, I'm NOT getting changed!!"

Rage filled Angel's facial expression before he yelled, "MOM!!!!" and ran down the stairs.

All three girls laughed and followed him down the stairs.

***

Spike looked at himself in the mirror and decided he liked the way he look. “I’m leaving Mum!” he screamed as he grabbed his jacket off the rack, and keys off the table and ran out the door.

He had felt like a complete wanker ever since what happened with Buffy. He tried to call her, but every time he picked up his phone he chickened out. He got into his car and let out sigh. He couldn’t miss Buffy’s big night. She was his best friend and tonight was special to her.

With that Spike made up his mind and took out his cell phone. “Dru... yeah hey... uh.. I’m really sorry I’m not going to make it tonight... Yeah I don’t feel to hot and my mum wants to spend some time with me... I’m sorry again luv. Uh, yea.. me too.. Bye”

Spike hung up the cell phone and threw it to the seat. That was the first time he had ever canceled a date with Dru, first time he lied to her, and first time he didn’t say he loved her.

*What is that about?* Spike thought.

But he shrugged the thoughts away and started the drive for the Bronze.

***

Buffy looked from behind the curtain at the crowd and her eyes went wide. There were so many people out there. She started to panic slightly. She turned back around to see Willow standing there with a huge smile on her face.

“You ready?” Willow asked.

Buffy swallowed hard. Her mouth was suddenly dry. “I don’t know if I can do this.” She said softly. Willow’s smiled disappeared and she looked confused.

“Why not, you were fine when we got here”

Buffy looked back at the crowed and said, “Yeah that was before I saw all these people”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re going to be great!” Willow said with a smiled as she rubbed Buffy’s arm.

Buffy smiled as a man came up behind her. “Two minutes Buffy.” Buffy smiled at the man then turned back to Willow with a look of pure horror. “I can’t do this!” Buffy shrieked as she shook her head.

Willow tilted her head and smiled. “Awwww,” Willow said as she patted her friend’s arm. “Stop it!! Now go! We’re all out there rooting for you! Good luck!!” Willow said as she turned around and walked back to the front crowd.

Buffy nodded her head, “I can do this!” Buffy said to herself.

“Ok, people here’s a little beauty right here from good old SunnyD, here to sing her very own song that she wrote, ‘Tear Drops On My Guitar’, everyone give a round of applause for Buffy Summers!!”

“Oh boy!” Buffy said to herself as she heard her name being announced.

***

Spike walked into the club and looked around. He hoped he didn’t miss her. Spike wanted to surprise her. And hopefully right any wrong he did yesterday. Spike spotted the usual gang sitting at one table and smiled. He was about to walk over there when he decided not to. He wanted to sit in the back so that Buffy couldn’t see him and he could surprise her later. If she saw him in the middle of her number then it might distract her. Spike wanted her to be completely surprised and give him that smile that shined up a room.

*She’s really beautiful when she smiles* Spike thought as he sat down at a table near the back.

*Since when do I think Buffy is beautiful?* Spike frowned.

He was so confused. He was having thoughts he shouldn’t be having about Buffy and he couldn’t explain them. Spike’s thoughts were interrupted when cheers and claps filled the club and the host came onto the stage.

“Ok, people here’s a little beauty right here from good old SunnyD, here to sing her very own song that she wrote, ‘Teardrops On My Guitar’, everyone give a round of applause for Buffy Summers!!”

Spike smiled. He didn’t miss her.

***

Buffy walked onto the stage with her guitar in her hands and sat down on the chair in front of the microphone. She gave the crowd a small smile as she got situated. Her smile grew when she saw her friend’s sitting at a table right up front. She took a deep breath and spoke into the microphone.

“Ok this is a song I wrote myself about, um, someone who is very special to me.”

Buffy took another deep breath then started to strum the guitar.

***

Spike watched Buffy walk onto the stage and smiled. She looked so beautiful. Her golden hair was shiny from the lights and her toned legs look like silk. She looked absolutely amazing. When he heard two guys at the table next to him talk about her, he had to hold himself back from getting up and beating the shit out of them. How dare they talk about his Buffy that way.

*My Buffy?* Spike thought.

He watched with wide eyes as she talked into the microphone, then listened to the music come from the guitar. Wait, this wasn’t the song she told him she was going to sing.

*Teardrops on my guitar?* Spike thought in confusion.

She told him she was playing DEAR DIARY. Why would she lie to him? Spike’s eyes went wide when he realized why. His name was the first word in the song.

***

Will looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I’m needing
Everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful,
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Will talks to me,
I laugh cause it's so damn funny
When I can't Even see
Anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love,
He's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

***

Spike’s heart skipped a beat when he listened to the lyrics of Buffy’s song. He had no idea she felt this way about him. They were friends. They had always been friends, or at least that’s what he thought. Spike swallowed hard as he listened to the rest of the song.

***

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Will walks by me,
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes,
So perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight,
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

***

Buffy strummed the guitar softly. She looked up at her friends again and smiled. But her heart broke slightly when she didn’t see Spike. Granted, she wouldn’t know what to say to him because of the song she was singing. But then if he did hear the song, she really wouldn’t have to explain anything. It was all in the lyrics. Buffy took a deep breath and blinked back tears as she began to sing again.

***

So I drive home alone,
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

'Cause He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up,
But there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.

Will looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see

***

Buffy smiled as she finished her song. All she could hear was claps and cheers. People were actually cheering for her and her song.

“Thank you,” Buffy said into the microphone as she grabbed her microphone and stood up. She smiled once more at the crowd and walked back stage.

***

Spike blinked back tears he didn’t know he had. Buffy had feelings for him. But what he didn’t know was how he felt about her. Sure he’d been having confusing thoughts about her, and reactions to her he couldn’t explain, but what guy wouldn’t have reactions to Buffy? But more importantly, they were best friends and told each other everything. Now he didn’t know what he was going to say to her when he saw her.

His panic only got worse when he saw Buffy walk out from backstage with a huge smile on her face. He saw her walk to her friends and almost get tackled by Willow. Spike stood, but then realized he didn’t know what to say to her. He knew Buffy, and if she knew he was here after she just sang that song, she would die of embarrassment. And he didn’t want to cause her that. So he took one last look at her and made his decision. He didn’t want to hurt her more so he turned and walk out the door.

Buffy rolled over with a huff. There was a tapping noise coming from some where that took her out of her wonderful sleep and it wasn't stopping. She opened her eyes and looked around. Buffy shot out of her bed with a gasp when she saw bleached hair from her window. She unlocked the window and opened it.

"Spike what the hell are you doing?" she hissed in a low whisper.

"Bloody hell women, took you long enough to wake the hell up!" Spike grumbled as he stumbled into her room.

"I was sleeping!" Buffy cried as she looked over at the clock. "Geez, Spike! It's 3:30 in the morning!"

Spike looked back at Buffy and his mouth went dry. She was standing there in nothing but a white tank top and her hot pink 'boy shorts' underwear. Her hair was still curly but was piled on top of her head in a bun, with loose strands falling. Spike had to move slightly as he pants began to tighten.

"Hello!" Buffy said as she waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to bleach wonder!"

Spike snapped out of his thoughts and let out a sigh. "I... I just wanted to talk to you." Spike said as he sat down.

"Well you know they have this thing called a phone! Very useful." Buffy said with an attitude.

"You'd probably just hang up on me," Spike said as he looked down at his hands. Buffy thought about it for a second then said, "True."

Spike let out another sigh. "Will you sit down please?"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she got back into bed, and under the covers. She moved her pillows around so that she sat against the headboard comfortably. They sat there for a couple seconds in seconds before Buffy said, "So. Talk."

Buffy knew she was being a bitch, but right then she didn't care. He really hurt her feelings yesterday at school and broke her heart even more when he didn't show up at the Bronze earlier. He didn't even call.

*To busy with his hooker* Buffy thought with anger.

"I was a complete wanker yesterday." Spike began still looking down at his hands. "And I'm sorry."

Buffy looked away as she tried to hold back her tears. He would never really understand how much he hurt her.

"You really hurt my feelings Spike. I don't even know why you acted like that, and then when you didn't call. And you didn't show up tonight. I mean I know it wasn't a big deal but.."

"It was a big deal." Spike said as he finally looked up at her. "And it meant a lot to you. And I'm sorry I missed it. I completely forgotten about my date with Dru and... then. I don't know."

Buffy bit her lip and looked up at him. "I understand. She's your girlfriend. She get first dibs."

Spike shook his head and moved closer to her. "No, Buffy. That's not it. Yeah, Dru's my girlfriend, but you're my best friend. And I should have remembered. Then I shouldn't have acted like a jerk and not show up."

*Even though I did show up* Spike thought.

But he wasn't about to tell her that. "Why did you act like that? You like blew it off like you didn't care?" Buffy chocked out.

It was becoming damn near impossible to hold her tears in. Spike looked back down at his hands. He didn't know what to tell her. He didn't know why he acted like that, and the thought of her with Finn made his blood boil.

Spike just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm not really sure. I just, I don't know ok. But I'm really sorry kitten, and I hope you'll forgive me."

*Kitten* Buffy thought sadly.

That was it, she couldn't hold back anymore and a single tear escaped her eyes. Spike saw this and his heart broke. "Oh god, pet. Come here." Spike said as he opened his arms.

Buffy quickly moved towards him and snuggled into his chest. "I'm really sorry." Spike whispered into her hair.

Buffy just nodded her head. She was in heaven right now. She was in Spike's arms and nothing could go wrong. There was no Drusilla, and no lying about feelings. They were together and that's all that mattered.

"So," Buffy asked as she pulled away from him and whipped her eyes. "How was your date?"

Spike looked at her in complete awe. She had just spent the night at the Bronze singing a song that professed her love for him, and now she was asking how his date was.

*She's amazing* Spike thought.

"Um, ok. You know, just a date." Buffy nodded her head and thanked whoever was listening that he didn't go off about it like he usually did.

"But enough about that how did it go? How were you?" Spike asked with fake enthusiasm.

*You were bloody amazing* he though.

Buffy blushed and looked down. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I was ok I guess. I was really nervous right before but everyone sat right up front so that helped."

Spike nodded. "I'm sorry again I couldn't be there." Buffy just looked up at him and nodded. "Besides, I'm sure you were better then Ok. I bet you were amazing,"

Buffy blushed and looked away again. "I'm not that good." Spike put his finger under her chin, lifting her head so she would look him in the eye. "Yes you are luv, and don't let anyone tell you any different."

Buffy looked into his big blue eyes and her heart skipped a beat. He moved a loose strand to behind her ear then began to stroke her face again. "You're amazing," he whispered softly.

Buffy's heart began to beat rapidly as she saw him look from her eyes to her lips. She stuck her tongue out to moisten her now dry lips. Spike looked down at her tongue and had to hold back a groan. All he wanted to do was take it into his mouth. Without even knowing it, he started to lean closer to Buffy. Buffy's head was going wild.

*He's going to kiss me!* she screamed inside.

Her palms were sweaty and she was breathing heavy. Buffy closed her eyes just before his lips touched hers.

"Buffy sweetie, are you still awake?"

Spike jumped up quickly and jumped out the window. It took Buffy a couple seconds to register what was happening. When she heard her doorknob begin to turn she jumped back under the covers, laid down, and prayed that her mom would think she was sleeping.

***

“So there was kissage?” Willow exclaimed.

“No, no actual kissing, but he tried. Which is really weird.” Buffy stated as she grabbed her lunch from out of her locker and closed it shut.

“Yeah, plus confusing,” Willow said as they walked down the hallway.

“Confusing as hell!” Buffy groaned. “I mean, it was just out of no where!”

“So what are you going to say to him?” Willow asked as she hugged her books to her chest.

Buffy shrugged and said, “Who knows. He wasn’t in fourth period, and I haven’t seen him all day so I’m guessing he didn’t show.”

Willow just nodded her head, then looked around confused. “We passed the cafeteria.”

“Yeah, Angel and everyone suggested we have lunch out front at one of the tables today” Buffy said as they reached the outside.

Willow immediately stopped. Buffy looked back at her friend. “Um, Will?”

Willow looked completely terrified. She stood there taking deep breaths and looking around. “Buffy, are you sure we’re allowed to do that? I mean, it’s off school grounds and we could get in trouble and I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and walked up to her friend. “Will, it’s not off school grounds. That part is technically school grounds and you know it’s allowed.”

Willow still looked around scared. “Buffy I don’t know. Maybe we shou... HEY! What are you doing?! Buffy wait!” Willow cried out as Buffy grabbed her arm and started to drag her across the street towards the picnic table.

When they finally crossed the street Buffy let go of her arm and turned to her. “Now, is that so bad?”

Willow let out a breath and a small smile. “No. I.. I...I guess not.”

Buffy smiled and put her sunglasses down on her face. Her smiled disappeared when she saw her friend’s face went pale again. “What’s the matter now Will?”

“Um, have you figured out what you’re going to say to Spike?” Willow stuttered.

Buffy scrunched her brow together in confusion. “Not really. I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it.” Buffy said with a shrug.

Willow coughed and said, “Well I guess you better figure it out since he’s sitting right over there.”

Buffy’s eyes went wide as she turned her head to the table. Her heart started beat erratically when she saw Spike sitting there with all of their friends. She turned back to Willow quickly when they made eye contact.

“Well this day keeps getting better and better!”

***
Spike laughed at something Angel had said and looked up. His breath caught in his throat when
he saw Buffy walk out of the school with Willow. She was wearing her white flip flops, a short pink skirt and a white tank top. She was absolutely beautiful. He smiled to himself when the memories of last night came back to his mind. He did nothing but dream of Buffy and her lips last night.

“Knew Willow was going to have a heart attack about coming out here to eat,” Xander said with a laugh.

They all looked and saw Buffy dragging her friend across the street. Spike was the only one to keep looking and see Buffy turn her head to look at the table after Willow had said something. This made Spike frown. If he knew Buffy, she was probably freaking out right about now, not knowing how to act. Spike was in the same boat. He had skipped fourth period and luckily had to talk to the counselor during fifth, so he hadn’t seen her all day. He wanted to talk to her about what happened last night but not in front all of their friends. So Spike made a last minute decision when she walked up to do the best thing, and act like nothing happened.

“Hey guys!!” Willow said with a smile as her and Buffy walked up to the table.

Everyone said their hello’s the two girls. Buffy sat down next to Cordelia and across from Spike. Buffy looked up at Spike and smiled at him shyly. Her heart melted when he gave her the most dazzling smile.

“So what are you guys talking about?” Willow asked as she opened her lunch.

“How awesome our little Buffster was Saturday!” Xander exclaimed as he bit into his sandwich.

Buffy blushed and looked down. “I wasn’t awesome!”

“Are you kidding?” Cordelia said. “You were like the queen of ‘Open Mic Night’! And that’s like kinda cool, but not really.”

Buffy looked at her friend and chuckled. That was Cordelia, trying to be nice by insulting people. “Well thanks.”

“So are you going do it again this Saturday?” Darla asked.

Buffy smiled and thought for a second. “Yeah. I think so.” Willow smiled and clapped her hands. “Yay! I love your songs!”

Every one laughed. “Cool, then Saturday night we can celebrate. I’ll have a party for you!” Angel said.

Buffy raised her eyebrow and said, “A party for me?”

Angel rolled his eyes and said, “Ok. Maybe not exactly for you. But Mom’s going away Friday for a week and I’m going to have a party anyway.”

Buffy just shook her head and sipped on her diet coke. She looked over at Spike who had been unusually quiet. She kicked him lightly under the table causing him to look up at her.

“You ok?” She asked softly as her friends around her talked.

“I’m really sorry I wasn’t there Saturday, pet.” Spike mumbled. Even though he was there, he didn’t want to tell her that. But while everyone was talking about how wonderful she was, he felt sorry and wanted to complement her as well. But he couldn’t.

Buffy blushed and looked down. Spike smiled and thought ,*She's so adorable when she does that*

Buffy looked back up at him and shrugged. “I told you last night, it’s fine.” Buffy looked down again.

Brining up last night was a bad idea. Spike just nodded and looked down at his food. They spent the rest of their lunch talking, joking around with their friends. And no one ever knew that under the table, Buffy and Spike were secretly playing footsies.

"Well I've been busy, what do you want me to do?" Spike yelled into the phone.

"Make some time for your girlfriend that's what I want!" Drusilla yelled back.

Spike let out an annoyed sigh, and leaned back against his car, he was exhausted. It was now Thursday, and he and Dru had been arguing everyday that week. She wanted to see him and he kept blowing her off to spend time with Buffy. Spike smiled as he thought about her. They had met up everyday after school and hung out. Sometimes he didn't go home until late at night, and then they called each other, talking until the early hours of the morning. Things were great between them.

"Look, Dru, I'm sorry. But this week has just been crazy. I'll make it up to you." Spike looked around, he was waiting for Buffy to come out of the movie store, they were going to get a movie to watch that night since they didn‘t have school tomorrow.

"You're sunshine is more important then me!" Dru whined. "What are you on about?"

"I want you to take me out on Saturday."

Spike let out another sigh and said, "Dru, I can't. That's Buffy's Open Mic Night. You know that."

Spike heard Dru growl on the other end of the phone. "See, you care more about sunshine then you do me!"

"Dru, what the fuck are you talking about and who the fuck is sunshine?!"

"You're being an asshole!"

"And you're being a fucking bitch!" Spike screamed into the phone.

Spike clenched his jaw as he continued to listen to Dru scream into the phone. But he completely ignored the yelling when he saw Buffy walking up to the counter through the glass. He smiled as she waved to him. He waved back, but the smile soon faded when he saw Riley Finn walk up to her. Spike had forgotten about him. Then everything hit him at once, here he was, arguing with his girlfriend so he could spend time with a girl that had a boyfriend of her own. Yeah, so she was in love with him. But obviously she made it a point to move on, so why should he feel guilty about spending time with Dru. She was his girlfriend after all.

"Dru, sweets, calm down. I'm sorry. I'm a bad man. How about we go out tomorrow night?"

"Really?" Drusilla asked.

Spike smiled and nodded. "Yeah hun. Friday night, me you, a big date."

***

Buffy smiled and waved to Spike as she walked up to the counter with her movies. He was leaning against his car , smoking a cigarette while talking on his phone.

*He looks so sexy* she thought.

Buffy blushed when naughty thoughts started to come to her mind. Things had been great between them. Though they never talked about the kiss that wasn't, they had spent so much time together. And the best part, she rarely heard about Dru. There was also major flirtation going on. She would wonder where the certain behavior came from but quickly dismissed the thought. She didn't care, all that she cared about was the fact that he was showing her attention.

"Hey Buffy! " Buffy turned around to see Riley standing behind her.

"Hey Riley, what's going on?" "Just getting some movies. But um, I'm glad I ran into you. I actually had something.. well. You see.."

Buffy smiled at his actions. Even though they had gone out for a month he was still nervous around her.

"Um, Angel told me and the guys you two were throwing a party this weekend. And I just wanted to, ugh, you know, make sure you were cool with me coming."

Buffy brought her brows together in confusion. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Riley shrugged his shoulders.

Buffy smiled and said, "Riley, I thought we ended on good terms?"

"We did!" Riley quickly reassured her. "And we're friends?" Riley smiled and nodded.

"Of course! I just, you know, didn't want it to be weird." Buffy shook her head and said, "No. You and your friends are more then welcome to come."

Riley smiled at her again and nodded. "Thanks Buffy. So um, I'll see you Saturday then." Buffy nodded and gave him a little wave goodbye as she left the store.

Buffy walked up to Spike's car smiling, today was a great day. Her smiled disappeared when she saw the obvious stress Spike was under. He was leaning against his car with a cigarette in his mouth looking anywhere but at her.

"Ok, what's the matter?" Buffy asked. Spike shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing."

Buffy wasn't buying it. "No, you have something face."

Spike looked up at her and sighed. She knew him to well. "It's nothing pet, can we just get out of here?"

Spike threw his cigarette and walked over to the drivers side of the car. "Ok," Buffy said softly and got into the car.

After a couple minutes of complete silence Buffy finally said, "So do you want to know what kind of movies I got?"

Spike shrugged and said, "Don't matter." Buffy didn't like this. Usually he was happy, and joking around with her. But now he just seemed, distant.

"Did you get into a fight with Dru?"

Spike let out a sigh and looked out the window. Why did she have to act like she cared. "Yeah. But it's not a big deal."

"It is if you think it is. You want to talk about it?" Buffy asked as she turned to face him in her seat.

Spike let out a little chuckle and shook his head. "Really don't."

"Are you sure, because sometimes tal..."

"I don't want to talk about with you ok?"

Buffy looked at him confused and hurt. "What do you mean with me?"

"I don't know why you act like you care about my relationship with Dru, when I know you don't. It's been over a fucking month and you haven't even met her yet." Spike spat.

Buffy blinked back tears. "Well, I.."

*I can't meet her* she thought sadly.

"Don't make excuses. You don't give a shit. Which is pretty fucking heartless if you think about it because even though I fucking hate your little boy toy, I still met him. AND hung out with him."

"So you think I'm heartless?" Buffy asked through clench teeth. She had no idea why he was acting this way and it was breaking her heart.

Spike let out a frustrated sigh and said, "No. I'm just saying you could meet the one girl that means something to me. I met your boyfriend."

"Yeah but all you do is constantly make fun of him or bitch about him! You really think that's better?!" Buffy cried.

Spike stopped at a red light and said,"Well, I don't like him. So oh well."

Buffy's eyes went wide. "Yeah, well maybe I don't like Dru."

"You don't even fucking know her!!" Spike yelled.

"Yeah well I don't have to know her to know that she's a fucking bitch!" Buffy screamed.

Spike snapped his head towards her with rage. "You don't know a FUCKING thing about Dru! She's a better fucking person then you'll ever be!"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Spike regretted them. Buffy gasped and looked at him in horror. He never said things like that to her before. Buffy quickly gathered her purse and hopped out of the car before the light could change. She slammed the door behind her and started to storm down the street.

Spike let out an aggravated yell and punched the steering wheel. He drove the car slowly beside her. "Buffy, pet. I'm sorry. Please just get in the car."

Buffy didn't say anything just kept walking. She didn't even look at him , she didn't want him to see her cry.

"Kitten, please just get in the car. I'm sorry."

"Go away Spike!" Buffy choked out.

Spike felt like a bigger jerk off when he heard her voice. "No! Just get in the goddamn car, you're not walking all the way home!"

Buffy ignored him. She kept walking with him following her. "Buffy please!" Spike pleaded.

Buffy finally stopped and turned to the car with tears streaming down her face. "No! Run along to your perfect little fucking girlfriend and leave little imperfect Buffy alone!"

"Pet, I didn't mean it!"

"Fuck you!" she said through clench teeth, then started to walk again.

Spike clenched his jaw then screamed, "Fine!"

He slammed his foot on the gas and peeled off. Buffy stopped walking when he was out of sight and sat on the curb sobbing. That was the first time ever they had a fight like that and she didn't even know what brought it on.

*How can I be in love with someone like this?* she thought sadly.

She didn't want to go home, but she didn't want to be alone either. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and stared at the screen. Who could she call? Willow and Oz were on a double date with Cordelia and Xander, and she couldn't calll Angel because he would freak on Spike. So that left only one person.

***

Spike pulled the car over about two blocks from where he had left Buffy. He whipped away the tears that were stinging his eyes. That was the most intense, and ugly fight they had ever gotten into. He was disgusted with himself for the things he had said to her. Spike screamed out in frustration as he started to punch the wheel repeatedly. All he could see was the look of horror and hurt plastered on Buffy's face. Spike leaned his head back on the seat, trying to will the images to go away but they wouldn't. He needed some help. He started to drive the car again towards the Bronze. He needed something to drink. And he needed it now.

***

Darla moaned into Angel's mouth. She pulled away with a smile. "You're good at that."

Angel smiled and said, "Oh yeah. Well maybe we should just say skip dinner and stay here and do this,"

Darla let out a little laugh and slapped his arm. "No way mister. You're taking me out."

Angel let out a sigh and said, "Fiiine."

He smiled down at his girlfriend and gave her another kiss. Before the kiss could turn passionate they were interrupted by Darla's phone ringing.

"Ugh!" Angel grunted as he pulled away. Darla giggled and walked over to the table that her phone was laying on. "Hello?"

"Darla.." Buffy sobbed into the phone.

Darla's smiled immediately faded when she heard Buffy's voice. "Sweetie what's the matter?"

Angel looked up at his girlfriend with a worried expression.

"Can you come get me?" Buffy asked with a sniffle.

"Of course, but hun. What's the matter? What happened?" Darla asked as she grabbed her purse.

She put her finger up to Angel, signaling for him to wait when he gave her a questioning look.

"I had a really bad fight with Spike, and I got out of the car, but I don't want to go home."

Darla nodded and said," Where are you? Angel's here, he'll come with me."

"No!" Buffy cried into the phone. "Darla, this was really bad. Angel can't know. He'll kill him. If you guys have a date, don't worry about it...."

"No!" Darla said cutting her off. "It's fine, he can wait. Now where are you?" Buffy told Darla where she was then they quickly got off the phone.

Darla turned around to her boyfriend who was standing there with a worried look."What's the matter?" he asked as she grabbed her keys off the key hook.

"Can I take a raincheck for tonight babe?" Angel looked at her confused then nodded. "Of course. But what's the matter?"

They both walked out of the house and Darla locked the door. "I can't tell you," she said as she walked towards her car.

This confused Angel more, since when couldn't Darla tell him.... "Buffy" he said softly.

Darla looked up at him sadly. "She asked me not to tell you, ok. But I'm going to go get her and hang out with her ok?"

"Is she ok?" Angel asked his heart starting to beat rapidly. A million thoughts were going through his head.

"Yeah, she's fine. She... she just needs someone to talk to ok? Please don't push it."

"It's about Spike isn't it? Did he do something?" Angel asked quickly becoming angry. Darla sighed and put her hands on his arms.

"Baby, calm down. They just had a fight, and Buffy doesn't want you to know because she doesn't want your friendship to be ruined."

"Darla, my sister is more important then a friendship."

Darla nodded and said, "I know. But please. You know they argue all the time. It's fine. Just let me spend time with your sister tonight." Angel thought about it for a second then nodded.

He was lucky to find such a great girl that cared about his family. And that his little sister trusted enough to call when she needed someone. Darla smiled and gave her boyfriend a kiss. "I'll make it up to you."

"Just make sure she's ok." Angel said softly.

"I will."

***

Spike sat at the bar completely broken. He regretted every single word he had said to Buffy. Spike tried to call her but she refused to answer. Then after the sixth time, she turned her cell phone off. The only thing that stopped him from throwing his phone across the room was the small chance that Buffy might call him. Drusilla had tried calling him but he just ignored her calls. He couldn’t talk to her right now. He was to confused. Spike took a long swig of his beer and put it down. It was going to be a long night.

“Knew I’d find you here.” a voice from behind him said.

Spike looked back and saw Angel standing there. “Hey peaches. What are you doing here? Thought you and the bird had a date?”

“Well, funny thing..” Angel started as he sat down at the bar. He waved his hand to the bartender who soon put a beer bottle in front of him. *Love how they don’t card* Angel thought. “I was just about to go out, then Darla got a phone call from my sister, who was balling her eyes out.”

Spike looked over at Angel and a wave of guilt went through his whole body. Spike started to say something but was stopped by Angel, “Dude. I don’t know what it was about. And really, I don’t want to know. But I have something to say.”

Spike nodded and listened to his friend. “You’re my best friend Spike. You know I’d do anything for you, and I know you’d do anything for me. But Buffy’s my little sister. What ever is going on with you two, you guys need to figure it out.”

Spike looked back at his beer bottle as he picked at the label. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Angel looked over at his friend confused. “Tell you what?”

“How she felt about me?” Angel stopped drinking his bottle and put it down.

“How’d you find out?”

“Showed up last Saturday to surprise her and heard her song,” Angel just nodded. They both sat there in silence for what seemed like ages.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Angel asked.

Spike let out a huff and rolled over onto his side. He glanced over at the clock and groaned, it was now 5am and he still hadn't been able to sleep, even after all he had drank. After having a serious talk with Angel, they both decided he was in no shape to drive, so Angel drove him back to his house. And now here Spike was camped out on Angel's floor trying to keep himself from running to Buffy and waking her up. When they came in her and Darla were passed out on the couch. He could see where the tears ran down her face and his heart broke. He was an jerk, and he knew it.

*I may have lost her completely* Spike thought sadly.

Tears started to sting his eyes again when images of a life with out Buffy came to his mind. They were to much for him to handle. Spike got up off the floor and quietly walked out of Angel's room. Making his way to the bathroom he wondered how he was going to fix this. Spike looked at himself in the mirror. When did things become so complicated? Before any thoughts he had of Buffy he could lie to himself about, say they never happened. But now, he couldn't do that. They were there all the time. Spike splashed cold water on his face, he was so confused. Deciding a cigarette would be best he made his way out of the bathroom and down the stairs. When he reached the doorway of the leaving room he stopped and just watched her sleep.

She looked so peaceful. So beautiful. But he knew as soon as she woke up all the bad memories of their fight would come floating back to her and she would be heartbroken again. Spike walked over to her and kneeled in front of the couch. He brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face causing her to stir a little.

"I'm so sorry kitten," he said softly.

Praying that somehow those words could erase what he did. But they couldn't. He watched her for a couple minutes more before making his decision. He had to make it up to her. Spike quietly moved over to Darla and shook her lightly. "Darla," he whispered.

Darla stirred a little but didn't wake up. He shook her shoulder again. "Darla, wake up." Darla's eyes began to flutter open. She looked up at Spike confused.

"Spike? What's the matter?"

"Shh, I need your help," Spike whispered.

Darla looked around then saw Buffy laying at the other end of the couch. "What time is is?" She asked as she sat up slowly, not wanting to wake up Buffy.

"About 5:15." Darla looked up at him like he was crazy. "What the hell do you need my help with at 5 in the morning!" Darla hissed.

Spike explained what he wanted to do for Buffy and Darla just nodded. "Fine. But you soooo owe me!" Spike just chuckled and nodded.

Darla got up off the couch and they walked out of the living room. "If I'm up, you're friend is getting up too. I'm not going to be the only one doing this with you," Spike just nodded and they both made their way up the stairs to wake up Angel.

***

Buffy stretched her arms as she started to wake up. *Not my bed* she thought as she opened her eyes. She opened her eyes and saw her living room. Then all her memories from the day before came floating back to her and she had to use everything in her to keep herself from crying. She sat up on the couch and started to move her neck around when she smelled something delicious.

*Mm, pancakes* she thought happily.

Her stomach immediately started to growl and she licked her lips. Buffy quickly jumped up off the couch and hurried to the dinning room.

"Hey, who made bre..." Buffy trailed off when she saw the dinning room.

The table was full of delicious food. Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, pancakes, toast. Anything and everything that was made for delicious breakfast. Angel and Darla were sitting on one side of the table eating and on the other side was Spike.

"You're awake!" Angel exclaimed with a smile.

Spike looked back at Buffy with a blank expression. She walked up to the table and looked around. "Wow, who did all this?" She asked as she sat down at the end of the table away from Spike.

"I did," Spike said softly. Buffy stopped herself from grabbing a plate.

"Oh. Well I'm not really hungry," she said as she started to stand up. Spike shoulders sagged.

Angel grabbed Buffy's arm and made her sit back down. "Yes you are. Now eat. Mom left already and gave me specific to make sure you eat. And as your older brother I'm calling in that right."

Buffy looked over at Angel with a glare. "I'm not hungry." she stated again. And in that second her stomach choose to deceive her and growl. She looked down embarrassed.

Darla chuckled and said, "It's really good sweetie."

Buffy looked up at the food. It all did really look good. Buffy glanced over at Spike who was looking at her with hopeful eyes. Buffy let out a sigh and rolled her eyes.

"Fine." she said softly. Spike smiled softly and looked down at his food.

"So what's everyone doing tonight?" Darla asked trying to get rid of the awkward silence in the room. Buffy just shrugged her shoulders as she chewed softly on a piece of pancake.

Spike coughed and said, "Ugh, well I was ugh, actually wondering if we could all hang out. You know, maybe watch a movie or something." Buffy kept her eyes down to her plate.

Darla smiled and said, "That sounds like fun. What do you think babe?" Angel nodded and said, "Yeah. Sounds great. What about you Buff?"

Buffy let out a sigh and looked up at her brother. "I'm kind of busy." Spike frowned. "Really, cause I was hoping we could actually watch those movies you got yesterday."

Buffy clenched her jaw together at the mention of yesterday. "Yeah come on Buffy. It'll be fun. We'll get the guys to watch chick flicks." Darla exclaimed.

Spike looked over at Darla and gave her a thankful smile. Buffy finished chewing her food then said, "Actually. I have this class to go to." Spike looked at her confused.

"A class?" he asked. Buffy nodded and said, "Yeah. It's for people who are imperfect, you know a sort of group thing. Sorry."

Spike looked down at his plate. Angel and Darla kept quiet. "Buffy, about yesterday..."

"And my appetite's gone." Buffy said as she slammed her fork down.

"Buffy please," Spike pleaded.

Buffy shot up out of her chair and stormed out of the dining room. Spike looked up at his friends completely broken.

"Go." Angel said softly.

Spike just nodded and followed Buffy upstairs.

Buffy raced up the stairs trying to hold back her tears. How dare he try and think he could just make breakfast and offer a movie night and everything would be better. Buffy opened her bedroom door and gasped at the sight she saw.

There was two bouquets of white and pink roses. One on each bedside table. A huge white bear holding a heart that read 'IM SORRY' in big letters and a single red rose on her bed with a note under it. Buffy walked up to the bed and picked up the note with tears running down her face. Her hands trembled as she opened the piece of paper.

If I could take back
Everything I said
I’d do it in a heart beat
Retracting every single thread

If I could erase the words
And place them where they belong
My eraser would then dissipate
As I feverishly erase the wrong

If I could turn back the clock
And reluctantly go back into time
I would think about the consequences
Of writing a hurtful rhyme

But reversing time isn’t an option
So I’m searching for another mode
To be able to say to you “I’m sorry”
I give you this single pleading ode

Buffy put her hand to her mouth as she cried softly. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever read.

"Do you like it?"

Buffy turned around and saw Spike standing in her doorway, leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets. She nodded and looked back down at the note.

"I'm really sorry about what I said yesterday." he said softly.

Buffy shook her head and looked up at him. "Why are you doing all this?" she asked as she gestured to the room.

Spike let out a breath and shrugged his shoulders. She bit her lip as she shook her head. The tears were still coming.

"You can't keep doing this Spike," she said softly as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

"If you only knew how much this.. what it feels like."

Spike stood up and took a step towards her. "If I only knew what." Buffy just shook her head and looked down. "Just forget it."

"I don't want to forget it."

Buffy didn't say anything for a few seconds then looked up at him with a stern look. "I'm not sorry for what I said about Dru. She's changed you. You're not the same Spike " Spike just nodded. "And it hurts that you think so little of me..." Spike immediately moved to infront of her getting down on his knees. "No. I was wrong. I was mad, and I said something stupid. Buffy, you're the most amazing person I have ever met. Dru doesn't hold a candle to you."

Buffy laughed softly as she sniffled. "Spike please stop saying stuff like that." she begged.

"Why?" he asked softly. Buffy shook her head. Spike let out a sigh. "Why didn't you tell me you and Riley broke up?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You were always talking about Dru, didn't think you wanted to know."

Spike shook his head at his own stupidity. "Buffy, you're my best friend. Of course I'd want to know. Plus I hated the wanker. I would have celebrated," Spike said with a smile.

"Yeah well that's not something I want to happen either." Spike stopped smiling and looked down.

*Time to do it mate,* Spike thought.

Spike let out a breath then said, "I was there Buffy."

Buffy looked at him confused and said, "You were where?"

"At the Bronze last weekend. I saw you sing."

Buffy's eyes went wide with horror. Everything made sense now. How he almost kissed her that night he showed up in her room, the way he acted the rest of the week. He knew how she felt. When Buffy didn't say anything Spike decided to talk again.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Buffy let out a bitter laugh and said, "What the hell was I suppose to say? 'hey guess what I'm in love with you'. ?"

"Maybe, yeah."

Buffy looked down at him and said, "Well I was going to tell you." This shocked Spike. She had decided to tell him and she didn't.

"When?"

"The day you told me about Drusilla. When I said I had something I wanted to talk to you about. I was going to tell you. But you were soo happy about being with Drusilla, what was the point?"

It all hit Spike at once. The flash of her face when he told her about Dru, the hurt, and the pain he hadn't seen then.

Buffy shrugged. "Doesn't matter anyway. You're in love with Drusilla and it's ok. I'm just going to have to move on."

Spike shook his head and looked down. "I don't know if I'm in love with Drusilla," he admitted softly.

Buffy looked at him in shock. "What do you mean?"

Spike ran his hand through his hair and said, "I mean, this past week has been confusing."

This should have made Buffy the happiest she's ever been. Spike was confused with his feelings for his girlfriend because of her. But it did the complete opposite, and it angered her.

"So you're confused because you heard a song?" Buffy asked as she stood up.

Spike looked at her confused then stood up, "Well, ugh. Yeah I guess." Buffy laughed and shook her head. "You're not confused Spike. You just feel sorry for me."

Spike took a step forward and said, "That's not true."

"Yes it is! God, you know. I've been in love with you, since the moment I met you! And everyone, i mean, EVERYONE knows it. Except for you. It took for you to hear a song to realize it? You don't even know how you feel about me! If you never heard the song then you'd still think of me as a friend."

Spike shook his head and said, "No. I'd be going to sleep every night dreaming of your face, then waking up and wishing when I was with Dru I was really with you"

Buffy looked at him with complete shock. Spike took another step forward and said, "I've been lying to myself for so long. But god help me Buffy, it's always been you."

Buffy just stood there trying to take everything in. Spike was trying to tell her something, but she wasn't sure what.

"What are you saying?" she asked softly.

"I'm saying that I'm confused. And I don't know what to do." Buffy nodded her head and looked down. “What do you want to do?” Spike asked softly.

*Run into your arms* she thought.

Buffy took a deep breath and said, “I think I want a little time to think about everything.”

Spike stood there in silence. He wasn’t expecting that, but truth be told, he didn’t really know what he was expecting. Spike nodded and said, “I can give you that.”

“It’s just, you really hurt me yesterday...” “And you have no idea how sorry I am. I’ll spend forever making it up to you kitten, I swear.” Spike pleaded.

Buffy nodded her head and said, “I just need a little bit of a break.. from you. It’s just you say you have feelings, or your confused. But you are still with Drusilla, so.. I just need a little time to think.”

Spike just nodded and turned to walk out, but stopped and looked back at her. “Do you still want me to come tomorrow?”

Buffy just looked at him for a second before looking back to the ground. “If you want to.”

Spike gave a tight lip smile and a small nod. He walked out the door but not before saying, “I’m so sorry luv.”

Buffy peaked her head out of the curtain. She was about to go on stage and Spike had yet to make an appearance. Sure they hadn't talked since yesterday but he said he would be there.

"Ok, ladies and gentlemen, next is Buffy Summers with 'Heart'."

Buffy heard the audience clap and cheer and looked once more for Spike. Still not there. He had broken her heart once again. Buffy held back tears as she walked onto the stage.

***

Spike ran into the Bronze and looked around frantically. He prayed he wasn't to late. He spotted his friends and ran right towards the table.

"Whoaa, Spike, man. You ok?" Xander asked.

Spike stood there trying to catch his breath. *Gotta stop smoking* he thought. He nodded and looked up. "Did I miss her?" he asked with panic.

Angel shook his head and pointed to the stage. Buffy was standing behind the microphone as the music started to play. She looked beautiful.

She was wearing pink open toe heels, low cut blue jeans that hugged her every curve and a light pink tank top. Her golden hair fell straight around her face in layers. Spike's heart skipped a beat and he knew in that moment what he wanted.

***
As the music started Buffy looked up at the crowd with a heavy heart. Her heart skipped a beat when her eyes connected with a pair of blue ones. Tears formed in her eyes.

*He's here* she thought.

Buffy closed her eyes and held her tears back as she started to sing

***

Heart, I know I've been hard on you
I'm sorry for the things I've put you through
Before you start to break on me or ask for sympathy
I need to make you see

O, heart, I'm not sure it's been long enough
To say that what I feel is really love
There's just one way to learn, sometimes we'll get hurt
And right now it's our turn

***

Tears were now forming in Spike's eyes when he heard the lyrics to her song. There was no doubt in his mind that she had written this song about him and he wanted to die right there. How he could ever manage to put her in that much pain was beyond him. He made a vow right there to never hurt her ever again.

***

Give it time, help me through
Heart, we can do this together
You're my strength, you're my soul
I need you now more than ever

***

Buffy looked up and her eyes connected with Spike's. She knew he knew this was about him. He looked hurt and she felt bad. But she needed him to know how she felt. He couldn't just say those things he said to her yesterday and expect all her pain to go away. It didn't work like that. He needed to know how she felt, and if he still cared after that, then maybe something could happen. If he wanted it to.

***

Heart, all the hurt will soon be gone
If you'll, if you'll just keep on being strong
You will always be my friend, so keep on hangin' in
And we'll find love again

Give it time, help me through
Heart, we can do this together
You're my strength, you're my soul
I need you now more than ever

***

*we'll find love again*

Spike's jaw clenched at those words. The thought of her with anyone else besides him made his heart want to explode. He'd make everything better. He had to.

"Spike man, don't forget to breath," Oz said.

But Spike ignored him and watched the goddess up on the stage.

***

Heart, I know I've been hard on you
I'm sorry for the things I've put you through
Please don't you break on me, I need to make you see
It wasn't meant to be
Cause you will always be my friend, so keep on
hangin' in And we'll find love again

***

The crowd went crazy when she stopped singing . They clapped and cheered. That brought a smile to Buffy's face. "Thank you," she said into the microphone then made her way down the stage.

People congratulated her as she walked. She smiled warmly at them and thanked them. She froze when she saw Spike standing in front of her. She couldn't tell if he was mad, or upset. He was just staring.

"You wrote that about me?"

It was more of a statement then a question. Buffy nodded her head and she swallowed. Spike looked down. He didn't know what to say.

"Are you mad?" Buffy asked.

She was scared. She didn't know why, she had asked him for some space. Spike shook his head as he looked back up at her.

"Not really. Just, that was... deep."

Buffy looked down and mumbled, "Sorry."

Spike stepped closer to her and put his finger under her chin, lifting it up, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes shined with tears. "Don't be sorry luv, it was a beautiful song."

Buffy smiled at him weakly. He moved a loose strand of hair out of her face. "Buffy I..."

"Don't. Can we not talk tonight. Can we just pretend it was like it use to be? Before the song, before Dru. Can we just be us, just for tonight?" Buffy pleaded.

Spike smiled. This girl was amazing. But they did need to talk. But he would give her anything she wanted. Spike nodded and said, "Of course kitten."

Buffy smiled and hugged Spike close to her. Spike closed his eyes and just stood there, enjoying the feel of Buffy in his arms.

***

Two hours later the Summers house hold was filled with music and teenagers. With a keg on the back porch and cases filling the refrigerator and any open cooler, it was clear no one was leaving anytime soon. Some people were in the back yard sitting around talking or playing cards, others in the living room dancing, while most were gathered around the dining room table to watch the vigorous game of beer pong. On was side was Xander and Angel playing against Buffy and Spike.

"Yeah!!" Both Angel and Xander cheered. They high fived each other and looked at their opponents. Buffy and Spike had one cup in front of them while Xander and Angel still had two.

Buffy bit her lip and looked at Spike. "It's ok pet, games not over."

Buffy nodded her head and picked up her little ping pong ball. She let out a breath as she shook the access water off then aimed for the cup.

"Come on lil sis. Don't choke. You'll lose!" Angel taunted with a smirk.

Buffy sent her brother a glare then looked back at the cup. "Don't listen to him kitten. Peaches here just upset he's been carried the entire way by the whelp." Spike said to Buffy.

Buffy giggled when she heard everyone around them go "ohhhhhhh".

"Oh yeah. Bleach boy. You want to talk ? Wasn't that you who was being carried by my little sister last game?" Angel came back with.

Everyone else instigated again and waited for Spike's response. Spike crossed his arms over his chest and chuckled. "Got jokes? Ok mate. How about we make a little wager on this shot here?"

Angel raised his eyebrow. "I say me and goldilocks here win it right now. We'll both make each cup. Ending the game."

Buffy looked over at Spike in horror. "Um, Spike," she started.

Angel laughed along with Xander. "Ok. I'll take that. What are we betting?"

Spike smirked. "You win, I'll give you both two hundred dollars." Everyone around them gasped. Buffy's eyes bugged out of her head.

"Spike what the hell do you think you're doing?!" she hissed at him. He really had completely lost his mind. Spike ignored Buffy and kept his eyes on Angel.

"And if you win?" Angel asked.

Spike's smile grew wide. "You let me take your sister out on a date."

The room went completely silent while Buffy stood there staring in shock. *A date?!* She thought frantically. *He wants to take me out on a date?!*

Buffy looked over at her brother who looked like he had just seen a ghost. She could tell he was having an inner battle with himself. Angel knew she was in love with Spike, but that was still his best friend and she was still his little sister. Buffy swallowed when her brother looked at her. She didn't know how to react. Part of her wanted to jump up and down for joy at the fact that Spike wanted to take her out on a date, the other part wanted to run and hide. Angel looked at his sister one last time before looking back at Spike. "Deal."

Spike smirked.

"Five bucks they make it!" someone shouted from the crowd of people. "Five bucks they don't!"

Buffy stood there still shell shocked. Angel had agreed to the terms, and people around her were taking bets. She looked up at Spike breathing heavy. "What are you doing?!" She hissed.

Spike looked back at her and said, "Making a bet."

"Yes. True. But a date?! Spike you and Dru are..."

"I broke up with her before I came to see you tonight. That's why I was late."

Buffy looked at him in shock. He broke up with Dru. To go out on a date with her? She blinked back tears as she bit her lip. Spike shrugged his shoulders and said, "Plus, knew had to get Peaches permission before I asked you out. But I didn't want to wait."

In her head Buffy was jumping up and down screaming with joy. But on the outside she looked calm and collected. She smirked at Spike and said, "And what makes you think I want to date you?"

Spike smiled back at her as he tilted his head. He knew she was playing. He could tell in her eyes. "Then all you have to do is miss the cup." he stated.

Buffy pressed her lips together and smiled. "Are you guys going to shoot or flirt all night?!" Xander asked from the other side of the table.

Buffy blushed and turned back to the table. Spike lifted his ball and aimed it at the cup. With one swift toss the ping pong flew through the air and landed into the cup with a swish. People erupted in cheers while others groaned out in disappointment. Spike smirked at Angel as a guy behind him patted him on the shoulder. Angel moved the cup away and drank the contents of it.

"You're up Buffster, don't mess up!!" Xander taunted.

Buffy shook her head and lifted her arm in the air. Everyone had gone silent again. Buffy stole a glance at Spike who was looking at her with hope in his eyes. She looked back at the cup and made her decision. Buffy tossed her ball into the air while everyone watched as it flew through the air in what seemed like slow motion.

A series of cheers and groans rang out through the Summers house. Buffy couldn’t stop smiling when she saw the ball land in the cup. Angel and Xander cursed as they slammed their fists on the table while Spike shot his arm in the air and yelled out, “Yeah!!!”

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy’s waist and spun her around. She giggled as she hugged him close. Spike finally put her down, but didn’t let go of her. They stood their smiling at each other with their foreheads touching.

“I knew you could do it.” Spike whispered. His smile grew bigger when Buffy blushed and bit her lip. They didn’t care that everyone was watching them, all they cared about was each other.

Buffy and Spike broke out of their trance when a throat was being cleared next to them. They turned to see Angel standing there with his arms crossed. Spike leaned up and smirked at his friend.

“Yes Peaches?”

“Me and you, upstairs. NOW!”

“Ohhhh!” people around them sang. Spike let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. He turned back to Buffy and said, “I’ll be right back kitten.”

Buffy nodded with a smile, she was to happy to care about what her brother wanted to talk to Angel about. Buffy began to walk towards the kitchen when she was stopped by Cordelia rushing up to her.

“Tell me that did NOT just happen??” Cordelia cried.

Buffy nodded her head with a smile and a giggle. The brunette squealed as she jumped up and down.

“Come on! We HAVE to celebrate!” Cordelia exclaimed as she grabbed Buffy’s wrist and dragged her to the back yard.

***

Buffy looked over her outfit then headed down the stairs. The house was empty, just like she wanted. But it wasn’t easy. Everyone wanted to be there to see them off on their first date. But she politely reminded them she was seventeen, not twelve. They all agreed but made Buffy promise to call with all the details. Then there was Angel.

Darla had to practically drag Angel out of the house. Apparently after the little ‘talk’ Angel had with Spike, he decided he was he was going to do the same with Buffy. He sat her down and explained to her that yes, Spike was his best friend, but she was his sister, and though he knew how she felt about Spike, he was still worried. Buffy just gave him a hug, told him she loved him and then told him to leave.

Buffy smiled at the memory as she picked up her purse. She froze when she heard a knock at the door.

***

Spike ran his hand over his face one last time and decided he was going to stop acting like a ponce and knock on the door. He had been standing there for ten minutes trying to work the courage to knock.

*This is stupid* Spike thought. *It’s Buffy. One of you’re best friends, not like you haven’t hung out before*

Spike took one last deep breath and knocked on the door. *Now that wasn’t so...*

All thoughts left Spike’s mind when Buffy opened the door. There she stood looking like a goddess. She had on black heels that made her tan legs looked like silky and smooth. She wore a plain black spaghetti strap black dress that stopped mid thigh. Her hair was curled into tight ringlets and her makeup was light, showing her natural beauty. Spike let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiled.

“’ello gorgeous.”

Buffy blushed and looked down. “I got this for you,” Spike said as he held out his hand.

Buffy looked up and smiled. She took the single red rose and said, “Thank you. Why don’t you come in and I’ll put this in water?”

Spike nodded and walked into the house. Buffy closed the door behind him and mouthed, ‘Oh my god!’ He looked good enough to eat. He was wearing a pair of black dress pants with a silk dark blue button up shirt that brought out his eyes, and his hair was tightly slicked back making Buffy want to run her fingers through it.

“So where are we going?” Buffy asked as she put the rose into a glass of water in the kitchen.

Spike smiled and asked, “How do you feel about Italian?”

***

“So how do you think it’s going?” Willow asked with a smile. She was at the Bronze with Oz, Cordy, Xander, Darla and Angel.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Angel mumbled as he drank his beer. “Aww, sweetie. It’s ok.” Darla said as she rubbed his back.

“I personally think they’ll have a great time.” Cordelia stated. “And I’m happy for them. It’s about time Spike opened his damn eyes and saw Buffy.”

“Oh!” Willow cried out as she bounced up and down on her chair. “Do you think they’ll kiss?!”

“I’ll kill him!” Angel exclaimed.

“It really bothers you doesn’t it?” Oz asked.

Angel shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s my little sister and my best friend. I’m happy she’s happy, just.... she’s STILL my little sisters!” Angel exclaimed.

Everyone laughed and shook their heads. “Don’t feel bad big guy,” Xander started. “Who knows, maybe they won’t work out!” Angel huffed then got up and stormed towards the bar.

***

Spike and Buffy walked out of the restaurant in silence. The dinner was delicious, but awkward. They talked about normal things, school, her music, but nothing about their feelings. If Buffy didn’t know any better, she’d say this was just like when they were friends but only with fancy clothes.

“That was a great dinner Spike, thank you.” Buffy said softly as they approached his car.

Spike smiled and opened the car door for her. Buffy got inside as Spike raced to the drivers side. They drove in silence for a minute before Buffy let out a sigh and turned to Spike.

“Why is this so awkward?”

Spike let out a breath. He was relieved something was finally said, “I don’t know, pet.”

“I mean, it’s not like we haven’t gone out alone before.” Buffy stated.

Spike nodded and said, “Right.”

“And we... like each other... right?” Buffy asked hesitantly.

Spike looked over at her and smiled again. “Right.”

Buffy blushed and looked down at her hands. “So no more awkwardness!” Buffy exclaimed. Spike chuckled, she was to adorable.

“Ok. We’ll be ok by the next date.” Buffy’s smile grew as she looked at him. “Next date?” she asked shyly.

Spike smirked at her then looked back at the road. They sat in a comfortable silence for the rest of the way. But the nervousness came right back to Buffy when they pulled up outside her house. This was the end of the date. The inevitable kiss or no kiss would happen.

Buffy was thrown from her thoughts when Spike opened her door for her. She smiled up at him as she got out. They walked towards the porch in silence.

“So, will it be very cliche if I say I had a good time tonight?” Buffy asked as they stopped at her front door.

Spike chuckled as he nodded his head. “Probably. But I’m glad you did. I had a good time too.”

Buffy smiled and looked down. Words couldn’t describe how happy she was right now. “So how’s Wednesday night for you?” Spike asked. He was trying to calm his nerves because all he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her.

Buffy looked up at smiled. “Sounds great. Where are we going?”

“Amusement Park is in town, and I know how much you like it.” Buffy’s face lit up. “Yeah! That sounds great!”

“Ok well, ah. I guess I’ll see you in school tomorrow.” Spike said.

Buffy nodded her head. Her palms were sweaty, her knees were weak and the inside of her head was screaming, ‘PLEASE KISS ME’.

Spike coughed lightly then said, “Well goodnight.”

Buffy frowned as he turned around and walked away. “Goodnight,” she said softly.

***

Spike laid in his bed staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t get over how beautiful Buffy looked tonight and how stupid he was for not kissing her. “Stupid git!” Spike mumbled to himself. He rolled over and looked at the clock. 12:57 a.m. A small smile started to form on Spike’s face as an idea popped into his head. He quickly shot up out of his head and started to get dressed.

***

“So he didn’t kiss you?!” Willow cried from the other end of the phone.

“No, and I REALLY wanted him to!” Buffy groaned. She was lying on her bed in a pair of gray pajama pants and a green tank top.

“Maybe he was nervouse,” Willow suggested.

Buffy twirled the cord around her finger and said, “Yeah maybe. But not as nervous as me. I mean, I actually thought I was going to pee myself at one point!” Willow giggled.

“That would have made a lasting impression!!”

Buffy laughed and said, “I know right!”

A tapping noise came from her window and she looked over. There on the roof was Spike smiling and waving to her. “Ugh, Will. I have to go.” Buffy said as she sat up.

“Why what’s the matter?” Willow asked confused.

“Spike’s at my window.” Buffy stated.

Willow squealed and said, “Call me back as SOON as he leaves! I don’t freaken care what time it is!”

Buffy quickly agreed and hung up the phone. She opened the bedroom window and said, “You know, my mom’s not here. You could have knocked on the front door. Or just used your key!”

Spike climbed in and said, “Oh yeah. Well, you know, habit. Who were you on the phone with?”

“Willow.” Spike smirked and said, “Talking about me?” Buffy raised an eyebrow and said, “Ego much?” Spike chuckled.

“So what’s up?” Buffy asked as she moved across the room to her door. She wanted to close it all the way just in case Angel was awake. Yeah he knew Spike often came over in the middle of the night, but now that they were dating he might act differently.

*Are we dating?* Buffy thought.

“Well I was thinking,” Spike said softly.

Buffy turned around and leaned against the door. “Yeah? What about?”

*Please don’t say you regret taking me out*

“About how much of a wanker I am,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck and walked closer to him.

Buffy looked at him confused. “And why are you a ... ‘wanker’.... as you call it?”

Spike took one final step forward and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Because I didn’t kiss you on our first date.”

Buffy swallowed as her heart began to pound in her chest. She couldn’t do anything but stand there as Spike leaned closer to her. Buffy closed her eyes and when their lips met, a jolt of electricity went through the both of them. Within seconds Spike was pressing his body against hers and her hands were tangled in his hair. Spike moaned when Buffy opened her mouth, allowing his tongue access. The kiss seemed to last forever. They finally broke apart when oxygen became an issue. The couple stood there with their foreheads leaning together and panting.

“Damn,” Spike said between breaths. “That’s what I missed out on?”

Buffy nodded with a smile as she bit her lip.

“Best make sure I never miss out on that again.” Spike said with a smile. Buffy giggled and said, “I think I can help with that.”

Spike chuckled just before he leaned in and caught her lips again.

Spike moaned into Buffy's mouth when he felt her tongue come out and massage his own. This was heaven to him. He never felt anything more wonderful. They both were lost in their own little world and didn't hear their names being called.

"God!" a male voice from behind them cried out. Buffy and Spike broke their kiss and turned their heads to see Angel standing there with an annoyed look on his face. "Do you two ever come up for air?"

Buffy giggled and hid her face as a blush came to her cheeks while Spike smirked. "Sorry mate, not my fault your sister is tasty."

Spike never saw Angel's face redder then it was at that moment. "Don't say that shit to me!" Angel exclaimed before he stormed off.

Spike chuckled then flinched when Buffy smacked him in the chest. "You're horrible!!" she hissed as she turned and started to walk away. "What?" Spike asked with a laugh as he followed her. "Not my fault he's not bloody use to it. It's been two months pet, he needs to get over it."

They had been dating for two months now and everything was great. Buffy couldn't be happier. Buffy shook her head and said, "Imagine if you had a little sister and some guy told you she tasted good, how would you react?"

Spike was silent for a second then his face fell. "Point taken."

They walked down the aisle as Buffy looked and fingered through costume hanging on the hooks. Tomorrow was Halloween and they were going to the Bronze for the big Halloween Dance and they had yet to get a costume.

"Are you going to get a costume?" Buffy asked as they rounded another aisle. Spike shrugged as he looked at a few monster masks. "Doesn't really matter to me kitten. But if you want me to I will."

Buffy turned to him and smiled. "Aw, hunnie, you're so sweet!" Spike nodded his head. "Yeah Yeah. Bloody whipped his what I am." Buffy started to walk again and shrugged her shoulders. "Same dif."

Spike let out a little chuckle and shook his head. "Hey," Darla said as her and Angel walked up to them. "You guys find anything?"

Buffy looked around then back to them. "Nothing really that caught my eye. What did you get?" Buffy asked while she gestured to the bag Darla was holding.

"Playboy Bunny. And you're brother's going to be the 'Sugar Daddy'." Spike started laughing from behind Buffy. "Yeah he wishes." Angel glared at his friend. "Watch it bleach boy." Spike just shook his head and laughed to himself.

"I actually saw the perfect outfit for you!"

"Darla I told you she's not wearing that!" Angel stated. A smirk formed on Buffy's face and she said, "Hmm, Angel doesn't like it. I'm intrigued. Show me this costume!"

Darla giggled as she dragged Buffy to the other aisle. Angel let out a huff. "She's not wearing that."

"What are you worried about? If it's that bad, it's my bloody girlfriend I have to worry about." Spike grumbled. "But she's still my little sister!" Spike shook his head. "Whatever you say... Sugar Daddy." Spike said with a laugh.

Angel let out a laugh and shuved his friend towards to register. "Hi how are you today?" the brunette from behind the counter asked with a smile. "Good thanks." Angel answered as he placed his costume on the counter.

He looked up just in time to see Buffy and Darla walking towards them, Buffy was now carrying two hangers with bags around them. Angel shook his head and said, "Um, I'm paying for my girlfriends costume too. She's the ugh, playboy bunny."

The brunette nodded as she rung up his costume and a few props they had picked out. "I'm going to need to have it to ring it up," she stated.

"Darla! She needs your costume!" Angel called out to his girlfriend. Spike smiled as Buffy walked up to him with a cute little smile on her face.

"Get a costume luv?" Buffy nodded. "I got you one too." Spike raised an eyebrow and said, "Oh yeah?"

Buffy turned around the big bag to show Spike the picture of the costume on the outside of the bag. It was a 'Gangster' costume. Black suit with white pin stripes and a red shirt. "We have to get the hat separate, and the gun. If you want the gun." Buffy stated. Spike nodded.

"You like it?" Buffy asked. "Yeah. Why is it in the big bag like that and not in one of those other ones." He asked as they moved to the counter when Angel and Darla moved and walked out the door.

"Because it's the good kind. The other one's look to fake." Buffy said as she smiled at the cashier. "Do I get to see yours?" Spike asked trying to sneak a peak at her bag. Buffy shook her head the pushed him away with a giggle. "Nope. It's a surprise. But we do match." Spike had to hold back a groan when she winked at him.

"Please make sure he doesn't see this. Thank you," Buffy said to the girl with a smile. Spike let out a chuckle and took out his wallet. "No I got it." Buffy said as she took out her credit card.

"Um, no you don't. You're MY girlfriend, and I'm paying." The brunette cashier watched them skeptically as she finished ringing up the items. Buffy let out a sigh and looked up at the cashier. "I'm sorry, can you excuse me for a second," The cashier nodded her head as Buffy turned to Spike.

"Who is paying for tomorrow?"

"Me," Spike answered.

"Who has paid for every date that we have been on so far even though I beg to pay for it?" Buffy asked sweetly.

Spike shrugged. "Me."

"My point. It's just some Halloween costumes Spike. Not a big deal. OK? Now will you please let me buy these for us?" Buffy asked.

Spike started to shake his head so Buffy broke out the big guns. She pouted her lip out and looked at him with innocent eyes. Spike shook his head. "Bloody hell. Fine. But just this once!"

Buffy squealed and kissed him on the cheek. "Bloody lip is going to be the death of me!" he mumbled to himself as she turned back to the cashier.

"That'll be $223.78." The cashier stated.

"What?!" Spike exclaimed making everyone in the store look at him. "Spike!" Buffy hissed as she handed the credit card to the cashier.

"Why the bloody hell is it so much?!"

"Because I told you, they are the good costumes. Sh! You're making a scene!"

"You are NOT paying for them!" "Sign here please," the cashier asked.

"To late," Buffy stated as she signed the paper. Spike snatched the bags off of the counter. "I won't bloody look!" he stated as Buffy started to protest. "Bloody Halloween costumes cost a fucking fortune," he mumbled as he walked towards the door.

Buffy laughed and shook her head. "Thank you," she said with a smile to the cashier then followed her boyfriend out the door.

***

The music roared through out the Bronze and people walked around in their Halloween best. Spike sat at an secluded table with Xander, Angel and Willow. "Where the hell are they?" Xander, who was wearing a dark green tank top and green commando pants, whined as he looked around for his girlfriend.

For some reason the girls had decided that they were going show up on their own and not have the boys pick them up. "Dude, they'll be here," Angel stated.

"Yeah, they probably just running late." Willow assured him. Willow had shown up early to the Bronze with Oz since he would be performing tonight.

Spike looked over at Willow and for the first time that night he inspected Willow's costume. She wore metal gear and a chain hood. She looked like a knight about to walk into battle. "What are you suppose to be Red?" Spike asked as he twirled his fake cigar in his hand.

Willow smiled and said, "Joan of Arc."

Spike nodded and looked towards the door. "Loving the werewolf look on Oz there. He looks bad ass." Angel stated. "I'm glad Cordy and I weren't the only one's who decided not to match. She wanted to, but there was no way I was matching what she has on." They all gave him questioning looks. "She's a big cat."

They all laughed an shook their heads. "So I'm Army man."

"It suits you," Willow said.

Spike let out an aggravated grunt and stood up. "I'm going out for a smoke. I'll be back."

Spike pushed his way through the crowd of teens and let out a breath when he hit fresh air. He leaned back against the wall with one leg up as he lit his cigarette. The nicotine was like sweet heaven to him. Ever since he and Buffy had started to go out he tried to cut back on the smoking since he knew she didn't like it. So when he did get those few moments alone with a cigarette he used them well. He watched as a group of teenage girls giggled and walked towards the entrance of the Bronze.

"Hey sexy," one of the girls said with a little wave.

Spike just chuckled and shook his head. He looked down at his costume and decided it wasn't half bad. He wore a black old fashioned hat to complete the ensemble which was tilted to the side for a sexy slant. He imagined what Buffy was wearing and how hot she looked in her costume. He knew what the matching costumes looked like and all of them were incredibly sexy. And just knowing Buffy had one of them made him instantly hard. No doubt after the dancing and kissing, he would have to go home and give himself a good wank. He found himself doing that almost every time he was with her. She always got him so worked up. He wanted her, he wanted her so bad it hurt. But he knew she had never been with anyone else and he didn't know if she was ready for anything. Spike didn't want to push her, but he knew that if something didn't happen soon he was going to explode. Buffy had to know the affect her kisses had on him.

Spike's thoughts were cut short when he saw Cordelia's car pull into a parking space ahead. Spike took one last drag of his cigarette before throwing it away as he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards the car. Cordelia stepped out of the car first wearing a skin tight leopard print outfit topped with ears and a tail.

"My my Cordelia don't you look dashing?" Spike said with a smirk. "Like I never do," Cordelia responded with her normal Cordelia attitude and shut the door.

The passenger door opened next to reveal Darla. She was wearing white high heels that made her bare legs look longer. Her black silk spaghetti strapped dress stopped just below her ass. It had a white fur ball on the back for a bunny tall and white fur lining the V choler. She also wore long white bunny ears on her head.

"Darla," Darla smiled at him. "Spike."

That's when he noticed Buffy stepping out from the backseat of the car. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her. On her head was the female version of his hat, tilted the same as his. Her hair was poker straight under it and her makeup was dark and Smokey. She wore a black dress with white pin stripes. the coler was white with flaps and came down as a tie right at her cleavage and she wore a white belt. The dress was utterly short and revealed much more thigh then he could handle. Her thigh high stockings were being held up by garters that went up under her dress to leave Spike only to wonder what kind of underwear she had on. The outfit was finished with a pair of black and white high heels.

"Hey Spike," Cordelia said as her and Darla approached him. He snapped his gaze away from his girlfriend and looked at the brunette. "You have a little drool," she indicated then walked away with Darla with a smirk.

Spike rolled his eyes and whipped his mouth just to make sure. Buffy took a couple steps and stopped when she stood directly in front of Spike.

"So? What do you think?" she asked shyly. Spike couldn't take his eyes off of her again. She was sex on legs. "You look bloody gorgeous."

Buffy blushed and looked down. "You don't look to bad yourself," she said. Spike smirked. "Naturally," he responded. Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Damn girl you look hot!" a guy called out from behind them. Spike shot the guy a warning glare before yanking Buffy close to him. She giggled, liking the sudden dominance he was showing.

"Cave man much?" "Well those bloody wankers shouldn't be looking at my girl!" Spike exclaimed.

Buffy just laughed and grabbed his arm. "Come on Mr. CCave Man I want to dance!"

“I’m going to kick your ass!!” Angel exclaimed as he saw Buffy and Spike walk up to the table. Buffy rolled her eyes and sat down in a chair.

“Angel, I love you to death. You’re my brother. But this overprotective thing has to stop. I mean, come on. I’m sixteen! Going to be seventeen next week. Get over it!” Buffy cried out.

Angel shook his head and said, “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that!” The group laughed.

“Ok, I’m up for some booty shaking!! Who’s with me!?” Willow asked. Buffy squealed and shot up. “Me!!” “Yeah me too,” Cordelia responded.

“Darla?” Buffy asked. The blonde shook her head. “No thanks. I’ll be out there soon.”

“What about you babe?“ Buffy asked Spike.

Spike looked over at the dance floor. He was never much of a dancer, but he didn’t want disappoint her. Buffy giggled. “You don’t have to, I can dance with the girls for a little then you can come out.“

Spike let out a breath of relief. She quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek then followed Cordelia and Willow to the dance floor.

“You got out of that one easily.” Xander stated.

Spike shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip of his beer. “She’s not bad with that kind of stuff. So I get off easily,”

“Lucky dog,” Angel mumbled. “ugh, Excuse me?” Darla asked. Angel had a look of shock on his face. “Um, I love you.”

Xander and Spike chuckled but stopped when Darla through them a glare. “So what are we doing next week for Buffy’s birthday?” Darla asked as she sipped her water. “Well she’s suppose to go to the Ice Show with my dad. She goes every year. So maybe we can do something the day before,“ Angel suggested.

Darla shook her head. “No, not the day before her birthday.”

“What about after she gets back? She won‘t be gone all night right?” Xander asked. “I actually wanted to take her out when she got back mate. You know, and give her my present.” Spike said.

“Ok, then we’ll do it the day after her birthday,” Angel stated. “Yeah but what?” Xander asked.

“We’ll just come here or something, because you know Buffy. She hates big things for her birthday. She always thinks stuff happens on her birthday,” Angel explained. “That’s not true,” Darla insisted.

“Ugh, I wouldn’t deny it.” Spike said with a shrug. “What do you mean?”

“Buffy’s fourteenth birthday my Dad left and my mom was forced to tell us they were separating.” Angel explained as he looked at his sister on the dance floor.

“Are you serious?!” Darla asked with a shock expression. Angel nodded then said, “And on her fifteenth birthday was when the divorce was final.”

Darla gasped. “Yeah but I don’t remember anything happening last year,” Spike asked his friends.

Angel, Xander and Darla all looked down. “What?” he asked them when he saw their awkward faces.

Xander let out a breath and said, “Remember the big Sweet 16 birthday Joyce threw for Buffy last year?”

Spike nodded. “Well, last year Buffy caught you making out with Harmony in her kitchen,” Xander stated.

Spike’s eyes went wide. Darla nodded her head. “She spent the rest of the night crying her eyes out up in her bedroom.”

Spike’s heart broke. He had no idea that had happened. He remembered not seeing Buffy for the rest of the night and when he found out she was crying she had told him it was because of her father. Spike closed his eyes and slammed his head on the table. “I’m a real wanker aren’t I?”

“Aw, hun. It’s not your fault,” Darla said as she rubbed his back. “Yeah dude. You didn’t know” Angel added.

Spike lifted his head and looked at his friend. “But you knew?” Angel nodded. “Oh yeah. I wanted to kill you that night. But Buffy would have killed me for even saying anything so I kept my mouth shut.”

Spike let out a groan. “Well look at it this way, at least you can make it up to her this time.” Spike heard Xander say.

“Yeah but it needs to be like twenty times better.” Darla said with a smile.

“Thanks Darla,” Spike mumbled. She giggled and shook her head. “I’m sure whatever you have planned is fine, Spikey.”

“But knowing your track record...” Angel trailed off. “I better buy her a bloody castle.”

The friends laughed just as Oz walked up to them. “Hello all.” “Hey Oz, done your set?” Darla asked. “

Taking a break,” he said as he looked around. “Where’s Willow.”

“She’s on the dance floor with Cordelia and Buffy.” Xander responded.

Just then they all looked over towards the dance floor, and the sight before them had Spike seeing red. Buffy, Cordelia and Willow were all dancing together but more then a few guys decided they were going to surround Buffy. They were leering at her a way he didn’t like. Like they only wanted one thing and she was going to be the one to give it to them. Spike finally shot up from his seat and rushed over there when he saw a guy start to approach her.

***

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

***

Buffy swayed her hips to the music. She could get lost in this. Just swirling around, having fun with her friends. Music carried her away. When anything bad ever happened all she had to do was put some music on and everything would be alright.

Spike watched as she moved with the music, she looked like a goddess. No wonder these men wanted her. But she was his. He shot a death glare to the man about to approach her. Luckily he took the hint and backed off. Buffy’s back was to him so she couldn’t see him walking up. Spike smiled as he placed his hands on her waist and heard her gasp.

“You know kitten, with the way you look, and the way you’re dancing, you got every bloke in here going crazy,” he whispered into her ear.

Buffy smiled and softly grinded her backside to his front. “And what about you?” she asked as she felt him push against her. Spike smiled. “Always.”

***

It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

***

Spike moved with Buffy as she grinded herself up against him. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath every time she rubbed against his know throbbing erection. Buffy moved her hands so they were covering his and dipped her hips. She smiled when she heard him growl. She had no idea what was coming over her but all she could think of in that second was how bad she wanted him and how bad she wanted him to want her.

***

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

***

Spike slid his hands down the front of Buffy’s thighs and massage them. As he brought them back up he slid his hands over her tight stomach then over her arms. He placed both hands on each of her elbows, causing her to lift her arms in the air and circle his neck. His nostrils flared when he felt her playing with the tiny hairs on the back of his neck as his hands went back to her hips to guide them to the beat of the music.

“You never told me what you wanted for you birthday,” Spike whispered in her ear.

***

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

***

Buffy smiled softly. She could tell by the sound of his voice and the feel on her back side how crazy she was driving him. She dipped her hips one last time before turning around to face him. She slid her hands down his arms, stopping at his elbows while she moved her body so that it was touching his. Buffy carefully leaned up causing her lips to be centimeters away from his own and said, “Surprise me.”

***

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

***

“Surprise me” He heard Buffy whisper. She was so close, he could feel her warm breath on his lips and her smell was so close. She smelled like heaven and he wondered why he never noticed it before. How could he deny himself all these years how beautiful she was and how much he wanted her. Lying to himself night after night about who he was dreaming about. That’s when he finally hit him. He was in love with her.

“Buffy...” he began but was cut off when her lips smashed against his own. He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, trying to bring her closer. Buffy gripped onto his shoulders for deer life. Spike felt her moan into his mouth when their tongues touch and he knew at that moment if he didn’t get her alone he would take her right there.

***

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me