Sunnydale, California 1992

Joyce watched her daughter make her way towards the group’s newest member with a smile. She wasn’t really surprised to see Buffy giving it a shot; her daughter tended towards boldness and the boy in question was undeniably appealing with his serious demeanor and angelic appearance. She was however, somewhat startled by the boy’s response.

Though always polite, her newest student hadn’t yet shown any interest in socializing. In fact, concern about his intensely shy and introverted nature was the exact thing that had led his mother to enroll William in her class. He certainly didn’t need the education portion of the program, she thought with a chuckle. At four years old, William was no older than the majority of her students. But while most of her class was working on basic letter recognition and beginning phonics, William was already a proficient reader and writer. He was pre-enrolled in a special private school for the fall, where he would be skipping Kindergarten and moving ahead at whatever pace best suited his considerable abilities. His mother, though thrilled with his strong academic tendencies, was also concerned. William tended to isolate himself, she’d said and she worried that being the youngest in his class was only going to exacerbate the problem. She’d enrolled him in preschool hoping that he might make friends with a few peers.

Thus far, however, William had shown little interest in the children around him. He wasn’t selfish or unmannerly; he patiently waited his turn and said good morning when prompted, but though he’d been coming for several days now he’d yet to start interacting with his classmates in any meaningful way. So when she saw Buffy start talking to him, Joyce had no reason to expect William to do anything but politely send her away. Her daughter, though precocious, wasn’t even three years old yet and given his indifference to other four year olds, Joyce certainly had no reason to expect William to welcome Buffy’s company. Yet that was exactly what appeared to be happening. Buffy had bounced over in her typical manner, introduced herself and demanded his name. William, it appeared, had not only answered but proceeded to show her the notebook he was always writing in. For her part, Buffy appeared entirely impressed and intrigued by his scribbling.

Worried that William was actually distressed but unable to rid himself of the energetic little girl, Joyce headed over. Buffy generally spent her day in class with the other three year olds, but since she’d spent the last week with her grandmother, Joyce had been considering letting her spend the day with her class. She quickly decided that she’d better stick with the normal schedule.

“Sweetie, it’s time for you to head over to your class.”

Buffy shook her head and turned back towards William.

Joyce laughed softly. “Maybe you can come say hello to William later, but right now you need to go to your class.” She reached out for her daughter

Buffy pulled away. “No!” she cried. “Will-umm….Will-ummm!”

Joyce’s eyes widened and, startled, she paused. Buffy was generally a very easy-going child and her current behavior seemed less like a tantrum and more like real distress. “Buffy!” She put her arms out again, only to find the William had done the same. Her daughter was clinging to the pale boy as though her very life depended upon it.

“Will-um” Buffy said again firmly.

Joyce looked at William. He was staring at her with his chin jutted stubbornly and a disappointed look on his face. “William? Is Buffy bothering you?”

William shook his head and tightened his hold on her daughter, “No Ma’am.”

Intrigued, Joyce gave in and allowed her daughter to spend the day with her class. She watched as her daughter and William remained inseparable for the rest of the day. A few moments after she walked away, William attempted to set Buffy up with her own sheets of paper and a pencil, but Buffy shook her head. He seemed puzzled for a moment, but he soon nodded and returned to the supply shelf. He returned to the table a few seconds later and presented her daughter with a thick pink crayon. Buffy nodded happily and sat down beside him. Ten minutes later, William was once again writing in notebook and Buffy was happily doodling pink flowers beside him. Periodically, they would share their work and giggle conspiratorially. At snack time, William insisted upon collecting Buffy’s snack before his own, at nap time Buffy insisted that she couldn’t sleep unless her mat was placed near William’s mat and at the end of the day William’s mother delightedly invited Buffy and Joyce over for lunch the following Saturday.

London, England 2008

William sighed and looked anxiously at the arrivals board once more. Still on-time he saw and nodded. Minutes, he thought, the time until he saw her again was now being measured in minutes. The reality of it was sinking in and William concentrated on lowering his pulse through the sheer power of will and deep breathing.

It wasn’t that they’d ever been out of touch, William and Buffy had rarely gone more than a couple of days without chatting in one way or another since they’d met. But William attended Oxford, as he had since he was 16, and until she’d graduated a few weeks prior, Buffy had been attending high school in Sunnydale, California. It was a long flight and an expensive one, William hadn’t been back to the states for a visit in over a year. He hadn’t seen her in over a year.

At the moment, William felt every minute of that time apart crushing him. He wanted to see her, needed to see her even, but that didn’t help ease his nerves. What if, he thought frantically, she’s grown out of me? She was eighteen now, he realized, and really not a child anymore. He wondered if she would see him differently know; he wondered if he would disappoint her. In a lot of ways, he wasn’t the same boy he’d been when he left. He wondered if she’d like the changes, if she’d see through them and if that would be a good thing or a bad one.

Sunnydale California 1994

“Everything’s all set here if you want to call the kids in to wash up.”
Anne nodded and headed towards the door to the Summers’ backyard. She stopped in the doorway and watched the children with a smile.
After a moment, Joyce headed over as well. “What are they doing now?” She shook her head in amusement before looking outside herself. She laughed when she say the small boy pushing her daughter on a swing. “He’s really too sweet; Buffy stopped needing pushes ages ago.”
Anne shrugged. “He knows; he just likes taking care of her.”
“You don’t worry that she’s got him wrapped around her little finger?”
“No.” Anne shook her head. “I think it’s a sweet.” She turned to look at Joyce. “He’s always so happy when they get to visit.” She didn’t need to say the rest; she and Joyce had discussed her concerns about William’s continued isolation from his peers on many occasions. They both knew that Buffy was the only child that William considered a friend.
Joyce nodded and looked back outside. “It is cute.” She agreed. She’d long since stopped trying to figure out why William, who was now at the age of 6 testing at a second or third grade level, so clearly enjoyed spending time with her energetic four year old daughter. She and Anne suspected that the two both simply wished for a sibling that their single mothers weren’t providing.
“William! Buffy! Lunch is ready. Come get washed up.”
The two women walked over the table and sat down with their coffees.
Anne grinned. “So you still haven’t told me about your date with Ted.”
Joyce laughed. “Not much to tell really. I like him; I guess. But… I…I guess don’t think that there are really any sparks.”
“None?”
“He doesn’t seem to think so either; we’ve had three dates and he’s barely even moved in for a good night kiss.”
William and Buffy scrambled into their chairs.
William cocked his head to the side slightly as he considered Joyce’s words. He looked troubled for a moment and then shrugged. “Buffy and I are going to get married then she’ll kiss me all the time.”
Buffy nodded enthusiastically while she reached for her chocolate milk. “Yep and we’re gonna have lots of bunnies and I’m going to wear a pretty dress.”

London 2008

When she felt the plane touch solid ground, Buffy barely resisted the urge to jump out of her seat and push her way down the aisle. Ten hours, she thought with an astonished head shake, was a really long time when you’re stuck on a plane. Already dreading her flight home, she bit her lip and stared anxiously at the fasten seat-belts sign. That’s not for another four weeks, she consoled herself and then grinned; she had four weeks with her favorite person in the world and she got to spend them England. It was, she was certain, the best graduation present her mother could have given her. The trip had a bigger purpose though, one her mom didn’t really know about, and that excited her almost as much as the thought of seeing William again did.
Her hand already posed on the button, she slipped out of the seat belt before the bell had even completed its tone and stood up eager to get her carry-on luggage out of the overhead compartment. The older man beside her chuckled at the anxiousness and kindly pulled her bag out and handed it to her.
“Thanks.” She smiled.
The man, who’d told Buffy to call him John, smiled back warmly. “Not a problem. Have a nice visit.”
“Oh I will. You too…oh and wish your son good luck at that football match.”
“Will do.” John shook his head as the perky girl practically ran off of the plane. Thirty years ago, he thought for a moment. He chuckled and edited his thoughts; thirty years ago you still wouldn’t have stood a chance with that girl.

London, England 2008

William closed his eyes and simply let the memories wash over him. He remembered everything; his mind was a vault of Buffy memories. But nowhere in the vast collection was a definitive answer to the question he most needed answered. More importantly, though he was widely acknowledged to be brilliant in many ways, William quite honestly didn’t even know how to ask the question.

Noting an airport employee heading towards the gate door, William stood up in anticipation. He fairly hummed with excitement as the first couple of passengers came out the door, and then she was there. He saw her pause briefly, framed in the doorway, and watched as she quickly slid her eyes over the crowd. She was, he thought, even more beautiful than he remembered.

He smiled when she spotted him and laughed out loud when she ran towards him. Oblivious to the crowd, Buffy dropped her bag and launched herself into William’s arms.

With her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, Buffy gave a squeal of delight. “I’ve missed you so much.”

William laughed softly. He’d normally have been uncomfortable with the very public emotional display, but at that moment, he could feel nothing but the extreme rightness of having her in his arms. He squeezed back. “I missed you too kitten.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. When exactly, she wondered, had his voice gotten so deep. Reluctantly unlatching herself from his lean frame, Buffy stepped back slightly to take a closer look at her best friend. His voice, she soon realized, wasn’t the only thing that had changed. She gasped “Your hair.”

Ducking his head slightly in a bashful manner, William brought his hand up to muss the shockingly blonde hair on the back of his head. “Yeah, Dru did it.” He shrugged. “I rather liked it so…”

“I like it to.”

His head came up, blues eyes startled. “You do?”

“Yep,” she admitted, nodding. “It was almost that light when you were little.”

William reached over and gave her ponytail a gentle tug. “Yours seems to have lightened up a bit as well.”

Buffy shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about; I’m a natural blonde.” Her pretty green eyes twinkled impishly.

Laughing, he pulled her back up against him for another quick hug. “Oh yes; I remember that now.” He walked over to where Buffy had dropped her bag and picked it up. “Let’s go collect the rest of your baggage, shall we? Then we can visit all proper like.”

Sunnydale, California 1993

“You need another “F”, see?” William placed his hand over Buffy’s and guided her through the letters in her name. “There,” he said. “Like that.”

“Why?” Buffy scrunched her nose as she studied the paper.

“Because that’s the name your mum picked.”

Buffy considered this and nodded. “I like Buffy.”

“I do too.”

“It needs a flower.”

“Flowers aren’t letters. You can’t put a flower in your name.”

“But I wanna put a flower.” She looked devastated.

William looked at her sad expression thoughtfully; he was pretty sure she couldn’t really have a flower in her name, but he didn’t want her to be upset. He grinned as an idea came to him. “Maybe you can just put a flower next to your name, like here.” He touched a spot on her paper that was slightly to the right of where they’d written her name.

Her face lit up and she smiled at him. “That’s a good idea.”

William shrugged, happy to see her smiling again. “I guess it’s because I’m so clever.”

Buffy nodded and proceeded to add her flower.

London, England 2008

“And then Cordelia was bragging about how she was going to be staying with her Aunt in LA for a few weeks and I was all, oh, you’ll have to give me the address so I can send you a postcard while I’m in Europe. You should have seen her face. Her jaw dropped so low we could have fit in her entire designer shoe collection.”

William chuckled and pretended to be insulted. “I knew it. You’re just using me for a place to stay. You didn’t miss me at all.”

Buffy swatted him playfully. “You know that I did.” She grinned mischievously “For one thing, I barely survived Chemistry without your help.”

Catching on quickly, William played along. “See? Tutoring and housing, that’s all I am to you.”

“And also you can drive.”

Laughing, he nodded. “And that” he agreed. “I did try to teach you.”

“Please don’t remind me.” She pointed suddenly at the luggage carousel. “Oh there’s mine.”

William scanned the seemingly endless parade of suitcases. There amidst the basic black, blue and brown bags was a bright pink and white floral printed one. Without even asking, he stepped forward and pulled it off.

“It’s cute, right? My Aunt Jenny gave it to me as a graduation gift. She let me pick it out for myself.”

“I never would have guessed.”

Buffy gave him another swat. “Give me back my little bag.”

Pretending to nurse the spot that she’d just hit, William shook his head. “I’ve got them.”

“Will, don’t be ridiculous. I’m perfectly capable of carrying my carry-on bag.”
She was the only person in the world who called him Will. Despite all of his efforts, three year old Buffy had simply been unable to say William correctly. He’d decided that she could just say the first part until she learned and she’d never completely stopped. It had been an issue of contention for him when they were kids, but he found now that he rather liked her having a special name for him. “I’ve got the bags Buffy. You’re my guest and I’m going to take care of you.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and held out her hand.

William relented and handed over the smaller bag. Courting Buffy, he decided, was even harder than he’d remembered.

When they got to his car, William quickly placed her bags in the trunk. “Are you hungry or anything? It’ll take an hour or so for us to get over to Oxford, but we could stop closer if you’d like.”

Buffy shook her head. “I snacked big time on the plane. Let’s just head straight there. I can’t wait to see your place.”

“Don’t get too excited pet. I’m a grad student still; it’s not much.”

“But it’s your own place, not your mom’s or a dorm room, yours. And that is cool.”

William nodded and grinned. “I suppose so.”

“I’ll bet that your place is very clean and that everything is put away and that everything is blue.”

He’d always been a bit preferential towards blue, he thought, but for awhile as a child, he’d taken that to an extreme. He liked knowing that Buffy knew him well enough to know that, but found that he also rather wished she would forget about a few of his more odd childhood traits. “I’m not telling you anything; you’ll see it when we get there.”

He grinned as he considered what her reaction would be when they got there. He really had changed quite a bit over the past couple of years. There were a few people that he genuinely considered friends, though he wasn’t as close with any of them as he was with Buffy, and he’d dated a number of girls. He’d been with one of those girls, Drusilla, for several months. He knew that his flat still bore her touch, but he’d grown quite comfortable with it and saw no reason to change things.

He frowned slightly as thoughts of Dru flitted through his mind. Most of his pleasant memories with her were tainted now by his knowledge of her apparently consistent infidelity and with his own feelings of guilt. He normally would’ve never gone out with her, but at the time he’d been heartbroken. It had been only a week after his last visit home.

Buffy’s voice startled him out of his memories. “Will? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong luv. I’m just thinking about the best route home. There’s traffic to consider and all.”

“Oh.” Buffy wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t push. William had always gotten lost in his own head from time to time; it didn’t bother her. She reached over and turned on the radio.

Sunnydale, California 2007

William followed the sound of Buffy’s voice. Her mother had told him that she was in the backyard with Willow and he could hardly wait to surprise her. He’d gotten his work done earlier than he’d expected to and had caught a flight to California two days sooner than he’d planned to. He paused by the door to watch her for a moment.

“…but who do you think you’ll go with?”

Buffy shrugged in response to Willow’s question. “I don’t know. Maybe Riley, he’s asked me a bunch of times and Parker’s been kind of flirty, you know?”

Willow nodded. “What about William? Isn’t he supposed to be here soon?”

“Will? Why would I go to junior prom with him?”

“He’s not bad looking and also you get cool points for his being a college guy.”

“Maybe, but it’s not like that with us. Will’s…he’s like…” Buffy trailed off trying to find the words that described their unusual relationship. She certainly thought of him as more than just a friend. “He’s like family.”

Willow nodded again. “Kind of like your big brother?”

Buffy frowned. That didn’t sound right either, but she went with it. “Yeah sort of.”

William stepped away from the door stunned. They’d never really discussed it, but he’d always thought that she was his girl or that she was going to be when she was old enough.

Her brother, he thought swaying slightly.

He clutched his stomach; it felt like he’d been kicked. The pain of it shocked him. Still holding his abdomen, William quickly told Joyce that he was feeling ill and likely had jet lag. He fled without even letting Buffy know that he’d been there.

Oxford, England 2008

His apartment was certainly tidy, she thought, but otherwise the picture she’d formed in her mind was pretty off. She’d basically expected to find his room from home ,plus a kitchen.

Walking in, it suddenly hit Buffy that her best friend wasn’t a kid anymore. He’d become a grown-up right under her nose and his apartment was the proof.

Gone were the little boy blue accessories and miniature sized furniture and in their place he’d decorated with heavy, dark wooden furniture and fabrics in shades of grey and black. Two full walls held bookshelves that ran from the floor to the ceiling.

Her eyes widened and she suddenly felt very out of place standing there with her pink sneakers and ponytail. She glanced up at him and saw that he was trying to gauge her reaction.

“It’s nice, Will, very…grown-up.” She blushed slightly, surprised by her own sudden awkwardness.

He laughed softly and met her eyes. “You mean boring.”

Realizing that she’d hurt his feelings, Buffy quickly shook her head. “No, I just meant…it’s really nice Will. I think maybe all the traveling is catching up with me.”

“Oh, of course, I’m sorry, luv. Where are my manners? Let’s put your stuff in my room and you can lie down for a bit if you’d like.

“No. I don’t want to sleep yet. I want to visit more first.” She followed him into his room and gasped slightly.

His bed was all made up with black bedding. It was cotton, not satin, but with a fine enough weave to have a subtle sheen. The image of William’s pale skin against those sheets came unbidden into Buffy’s mind.

She blushed again, wondering where the thought had come from, and suddenly came to another realization; William was almost undoubtedly not virgin anymore. She knew that he’d had a girlfriend, he mentioned her briefly a few times, but she really hadn’t thought about it. She was quite certain in that moment; it just wasn’t a virgin’s bed.

“Is this ok? You’ll sleep here and I’ll crash in the living room.”

“Oh, no, I’ll take the couch. I’m smaller. There’s no need for you to be squished.”

“It’s a pull-out. I’ll be fine. You’ll have a bit more privacy in here. I just…I want you to be comfortable here.”

Buffy nodded and placed her bag next to her suitcase.

Twenty minutes later they were sitting on the couch with a couple of soft drinks.

“So you have classes tomorrow, right?”

William nodded apologetically. “I do, but I can miss a couple days next week. I thought you might like to spend some time in London. My uncle is away a lot on business and we’ll have his flat to ourselves. Does that suit?”

Buffy grinned. “Yeah, it does. London sounds fun.”

“Brilliant.”

Buffy pulled her legs up, tucked them under her body and leaned against William. “So when can I meet your friends?”

William pulled her closer and wrapped his arm around her waist. “I’ll invite a couple of people over tomorrow if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Cool. Are they all like you?”

Chuckling, he gave her a squeeze. “How do you mean?”

“Like all geniuses.”

“Well I suppose they’re all fairly…” He realized suddenly that his brave girl was actually feeling insecure. “Hey kitten, they’re all going to love you. No worries, ok?”

Buffy nodded her head sleepily in its spot against his chest. “Tell me about that big paper you’re working on.”

William had barely gotten past the basic premise that Oscar Wilde had been influenced by a few surprising sources when it became clear that Buffy was asleep. He laughed softly as he brushed the hair off of her face. He got up carefully and bent to scoop her up.

Buffy’s eyes opened drowsily. “I’m awake.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Why?”

“Why are you sleeping?”

“Unh uh…carrying me, why?”

William bent down and placed her on his bed. “I’m just putting you to bed luv.” He reached down, gently tugged her sneakers off and pulled a blanket over her. “See all comfy now.”

“Ummh.”

Smiling once more at the joy of having her there, William began to turn away.

“Will?”

He paused, sitting down on the side of the bed. “I’m still here. Did you need something?”

“No, I was just wonderin’”

“About?”

“Do you remember when we used to have sleep-overs?”

“Sure I do.”

“That was fun.”

William laughed and wondered how much of this conversation Buffy would remember when she woke up; she hadn’t opened her eyes since he’d put her on the bed. “It was.”

“Guess we can’t do that now…wouldn’t be appropriate, right?”

“Probably not ,pet. I’m pretty sure your mum decided that it had stopped being appropriate about ten years ago.”

She sighed. “Fun though.”

“Sure kitten.” William felt the urge to kiss her growing to an almost unbearable level. He stood up. “I’ll see you later. Get some rest now.”

Buffy mumbled an incomprehensible response and he walked out, shutting the door gently behind him.

Oxford, England late 2007

William paled with shock and disgust. “Right here” he said quietly. “You’ve been sleeping with him in my own…why?” He cocked his head to the side and studied the utterly unremorseful look on her face.

Drusilla laughed coldly. “Why did we sleep together here?” She shrugged. “Convenience.”

He watched her study her nails nonchalantly and felt sick. “No, why did you…how could you just betray me like that? Do I mean so little to you? Have I always…”

“Betray you? How did I do that?”

Something broke inside William. Shaking, he raised his voice and looked her in the eye. “Bloody hell woman. You know what I mean. Why would you fuck him? Why would you fuck him in my bed?”

“We were never exclusive, William.”

“You might have mentioned that before I walked in on you fucking that bloody arse.”

She giggled. “Oh, but I do like it when you talk dirty. You can give up the false tears. You needn’t act so outraged. We both that you’ve never been mine either.”

“I have never once cheated on you.”

“Oh but you have all along. I’ve always been the other woman William. I’m not blind. I know about your little American girl. I’ve seen the pictures and the letters. I know that when you don’t come to bed it’s because you’re sitting at that computer talking to her. You’d rather type silly gossip with that child than come to bed with me.”

He stumbled back. He couldn’t deny it. She was right. He’d only started seeing her when Buffy had made her feelings clear. But he’d thought that she would help him move on and he had certainly never intended to hurt her. He’d committed every part of himself that he could control to her. But his heart...that had always been Buffy’s.

He’d thought that with time it would be different. There was nothing, he realized now, that he could do about that. He’d been Buffy’s since the very first time she’d mispronounced his name. “Why then?” he asked the woman standing in front of him with her hair still tangled from her latest indiscretion. “Why did you bother with me at all?”

She laughed again. “We suited well enough. You were such an eager little toy…always the gentlemen…always so concerned. There’s no reason for all this drama my sweet.Tthings are no different. Come here boy; let me remind you how good things can be for us.”

“Things are over. This is over.”

Oxford, England 2008

William jogged eagerly up the stairs to his apartment. He usually enjoyed his T.A. duties, but he’d had a hard time focusing all day knowing that Buffy was waiting at his place. He called out for her as he opened the door, “Buffy?” In lieu of a response, William soon noticed the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

She’s showering, he realized with a little grin at the image the thought brought to his mind. He promptly pushed the thought away and headed over to his computer, hoping to distract himself by checking over his e-mail. Sitting down on the edge of his chair, he quickly brushed his fingertips across his laptop’s touchpad bringing the screen to light.
His brow furrowed when a chat screen immediately popped up.

BuffyStar: Seriously Willow-I’m all about the plan. I find a cute foreign guy and go for it. I’m done with this whole virgin thing.

Witchie779: That easy????

BuffyStar: William has friends. Maybe one of them is cute. I have no intention of being the only virgin in the dorms, and this way I won’t have to worry about post-fling *awkwardness*.

Nearly falling off his seat, William closed out the window in shock. He really wished that he’d never seen it. He’d read it before he’d even realized what it was and would now be stuck with the memory forever.

Buffy is planning to sleep with one of my friends, he thought incredulously.

William shook his head as he pushed off the chair and began to pace the room. It’s ridiculous, he thought, insane even. It was, he acknowledged with a strangled laugh, exactly the kind of thing Buffy would do.

Sunnydale, California 1998

Slightly out of breath, William caught up with Buffy at the park. He dropped on to the swing beside hers. “You’re mum says that you shouldn’t swing when you’re chewing gum. It’s a choking hazard.”

Blowing a particularly large bubble, Buffy rolled her eyes with far more attitude than any ten year old should possess and William gave up.

The pair swung in compatible silence for several minutes before Buffy brought her feet down for an abrupt stop. William slowed to standstill beside her and waited to see what she’d do next.

“Nobody’s ever kissed me.” She said it as though it was both a shocking and annoying revelation.

“You are only ten years old.”

Buffy rolled her eye again and sighed. She was quiet for a moment. “Have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Have you ever kissed someone?”

He frowned slightly before reluctantly admitting, “No”.

“I think you should kiss me.”

William’s eyes widened. “You do?”

Buffy nodded. “Just so we know what is like.”

He cocked his head to the side and considered her suggestion. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, it’ll be like practice for when we do it for real.”

Oxford, England 2008

Seeing William on the couch, Buffy smiled wide. “You’re back early!” She flopped down beside him with her hair still dripping.

“One of the other TA’s said he’d cover my last study group in return for a favor to be determined at a later date.” He chuckled and gave her a wink. “I told him I had to show my favorite girl around.”

Buffy giggled lightly. Something about the way he’d just spoken to her made her feel oddly warm and just a little nervous, but she couldn’t figure out why. She brushed it aside. It’s William, she thought, you’re just being silly. “So what’s the plan?”

“There’s a decent pub not far from here. How would you feel about an early super?”

“You know me. I can always eat.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I remember. Where exactly you put it all remains one of the great mysteries of the world though.”

Tapping her thigh, Buffy teased “Hollow leg.”

William’s eyes followed her hand down. He paused; momentarily startled by the instant arousal the golden skin there brought him. Could those shorts actually be classified as clothing, he thought, clenching his jaw.

He’d always loved her, but the constant wanting, the lusting and needing, that had only hit a couple of years ago and he’d barely been in the same country with her since. Now actually sitting beside her, he was finding it increasingly hard to keep his feelings hidden.

Remembering the joke, he chuckled hoarsely. “Why don’t you go get ready, maybe put on some trousers, and we can head out?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, but got up and headed into the bedroom to dry her hair. She paused in the doorway. “Will I meet any of your friends tonight?”

William smirked. Very subtle pet, he thought. “Sure kitten. I’ll invite a couple of the boys over for later this evening.” His smile broadened as he watched her shut the door.

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy giggled as she celebrated her near-complete domination of the world.

Jonathon shook his head in admiration. “I can’t believe she held North America.”

Andrew just stared at the board in horror. “How did I lose Australia?” He turned towards Jonathon with a look of irritation. “If you’d accepted my offer for an alliance…”

The short, dark-haired boy shook his head. “The official Parker Brothers rules clearly leave out the option of alliance formation.”

William laughed. “Not to mention that you got Jonathon with that trick-alliance earlier.”

Andrew grinned. “It’s true. My Machiavellian talents are often unexpected.”

“Or you’re just a jerk,” Jonathon grumbled half-heartedly.

Andrew reached over and ruffled the other boy’s hair. “Someone’s a sore loser this evening.”

“Someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight.” Jonathon mocked back.

Andrew turned back to William and Buffy and placed his hand near his face for a theatrical stage whisper. “I give it an hour before he starts complaining that the bed is too cold without me.”

Jonathon rolled his eyes, but couldn’t quite hide his amusement.

Buffy giggled again at their antics. Andrew and Jonathon were nothing like she’d been expecting, but they were sweet and funny and the four of them had passed an entertaining evening.

She turned towards her friend with an evil glint in her eye. “Well, William, it would appear that it is down to you and me. Are you ready to surrender?”

William shook his head. “Seriously pet, are you sure you’ve never played before?”

“Yep, I was a total Risk virgin. Guess I’m just a natural, huh?”

William swallowed hard. I’ll bet you’re at natural at other things too pet, he thought with a small smirk. He grinned at her. “Or it was just beginner’s luck,” he teased.

“You don’t believe in beginner’s luck.”

“Perhaps I’ve just discovered new evidence.”

“Perhaps you just don’t like getting beat by a girl.”

“Oh, on the contrary, luv, if the girl does it right, I don’t mind getting beat at all. Point is it’s a matter of skill and strategy.”

Andrew and Jonathon couldn’t hold back their laughter.

Andrew was nearly crying. He clutched his lover’s shoulder, “Did he just suggest spanking games?”

William and Buffy paled in unison and turned to stare in open-mouthed wonder at the boys.

William recovered first. “It’s almost four in the morning, perhaps…”

Jonathon nodded. “Yeah, we’re leaving.” He and Andrew stood up and stretched.

Andrew walked over to Buffy and kissed her cheek. “You’re a doll. Don’t forget to give us call about dinner next week. I’m dying to make you my brie puffs.” He giggled. “And then you can tell us all about William here’s defeat.”

“Ooh and we just got a new Deluxe Scrabble Board,” Jonathon added with a grin.

Buffy gave each of them a quick hug. “Will do.”

William walked them out, said his good-byes, and shut the door firmly behind them. He turned awkwardly back to Buffy.
She grinned. “They’re a trip, really funny.”

“Yeah,” he said with a glare towards the door, “really funny.”

Buffy chuckled. “Relax. It’s not like anyone would ever think you meant… you obviously didn’t… I mean you’d never…”

His amusement grew as she stammered on. He arched an eyebrow at her. “I’d never what, pet?”

Buffy blushed and quickly frowned in irritation. “Well, you’re obviously not the whips and chains type.”

“Hmm… I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

“Will!”
He laughed and gestured towards the game board. “So I assume that you won’t let me get to sleep until I come back from my current precarious situation and claim an astonishing victory.”

She grinned, thrilled to be back on comfortable grounds. “Or you could just surrender. I’ll be a very benevolent global dictator.”

William walked towards her quickly and leaned in so that his face was inches from hers. “Something you should know, luv… I don’t give up without a fight, not anymore.”

Sunnydale, California 1997

“I don’t think so, Buffy.”

“Oh come on, Will!” Buffy adopted a pouty expression and pleaded, “It’ll be fun.”

William frowned. “But you just said that it was scary.”

“Exactly.” She grinned and bounced up and down. “So we can watch it?”

William was genuinely confused. “But being scared isn’t good. Why would you want to be scared?”

“Don’t be a chicken, Will. Scary is cool.” Buffy held up the movie again and gave him an eager grin.

Sighing, William nodded his consent. “All right Buffy, if that’s what you want.”

William woke a few hours later to find Buffy kneeling beside his sleeping-bag. “Buffy, what’s wrong?” He blinked sleepily.

“I had a nightmare.” Buffy bit her lip. “Can I sleep with you?”
His brow furrowed. “Really?”

She nodded.

“You mean… in my sleeping-bag?”

“Please, Will. I’m scared.”

He shrugged, scooted over and held up the top his sleeping-bag so that she could slide in.

Twenty minutes later, Buffy, safe finally from all imagined terrors, was fast asleep. William was not as fortunate. He lied awake wondering why he agreed to watch the scary movie when he’d known it was a bad idea. I’m older, he thought irritably, and I knew better. Why, he questioned as he often did, do I let her talk me into this stuff?

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy awoke panting and sat straight up. “Oh wow…. whoa!” She muttered breathlessly and shook her head. Still vividly remembering the dream that had startled her enough to wake her, she blushed crimson. Glancing quickly around the room, she was assailed with images that seemed all too much like memories.

Buffy whimpered once, screwed her eyes shut and began to rationalize.

Okay, she thought, so I had a sex dream. That’s not a big deal. I’ve had them before. She nodded to herself and continued her internal pep talk.

Dreaming about sex with Will doesn’t mean anything, she thought with a fresh blush. I was just thinking about sex because of my chat with Willow and then I haven’t seen him in a long time and so of course I was thinking about him too, and I’m sleeping in his bed and it’s not a big deal. I’m not perving on my friend, she insisted, it was just a dream.
A little voice that she didn’t want to acknowledge kept insisting that it had been a really hot dream.

Looking over at the clock, Buffy realized that she was supposed to meet William on campus soon. She pushed herself off the bed and hurried into the bathroom to get ready. She took a quick, cool shower, and running a brush through her long hair, she pulled it into a simple ponytail. Heading back into the bedroom, she avoided even looking at William’s bed and focused instead on selecting a pair of khaki pants, a black halter-top and a pair of silver hoop earrings. Finally, she pulled on a pair of low-heeled brown boots, grabbed her denim jacket and walked into the kitchen to grab some juice.

Seeing his note on the refrigerator made her smile. He’d explained the rather simple directions at least three times the night before and had pointed out the building when they’d taken a walk on her first day there. Yet, William had still felt the need to draw her a little map. She looked it over while she drank her juice and with a sigh, tugged it down and slid it into her pocket. If she didn’t take it and got lost, she knew that he’d never let her live it down.

She left the apartment with time to spare and adopted a leisurely pace as she walked towards the campus. It was a sunny day and the streets were rather busy with people taking advantage of the weather to run errands or get in a good work-out. Determined to keep her mind from revisiting the images of her naughty dream, Buffy busied herself with people watching. She smiled as the accented words spoken around her reminded her that she really was far away from home. She liked thinking of herself as world traveler. It made her feel bold and grown-up.

A group of punk kids caught her eye. She’d never really found the look too appealing before. If asked she would have said they generally wore too much black, too much make-up and didn’t get enough sun. Today she found herself reconsidering the appeal of pale skin and bleached hair. It worked for William. She could acknowledge that her friend was attractive, she thought, it was just a fact. She wasn’t being pervy. She studied a leather jacket worn by a young man with blue streaked hair and pierced eyebrows and wondered how William would look in one like it. When the black leather jacket her mind had dressed him in morphed into black sheets, she quickly turned to watch a couple of young girls walking a dog instead. There, she thought, much safer.

Twenty minutes later, she found the door to the office that William shared with the Lit Department’s other teaching and research assistants. Stepping in, she saw that he was talking with an older man and was about to step back out when he saw her and smiled.

“Buffy, come meet my advisor.” He waited for her to come closer before continuing. “Buffy this is Dr. Giles. Giles, this…”

“Is the oft-mentioned Buffy,” he completed William’s line and reached for Buffy’s hand. “Welcome to Oxford, my dear. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that William here speaks very highly of you.”

Buffy shot William a surprised glance before returning the other man’s smile and handshake. “Thanks, Dr. Giles.”

“Oh, please, just Giles is fine. William tells me that this is your first visit to England. So how are you finding Oxford?”
“It’s nice. I haven’t really seen much yet. We went to the pub.” She shrugged. “Mostly we’ve just been visiting. Oh, and I got to meet some of Will’s friends.”

Giles grinned. “Ah yes, the entourage…and what did you make of his darker half?” Seeing her confusion, he added, “Liam?”

Buffy shook her head. “I didn’t…I met Andrew and Jonathon. Who is…”

William broke in abruptly. “She’s really just arrived. I haven’t had a chance to…”

“Ah. Well then, Buffy, you’ll have to get back to me after you’ve met William’s partner. They make quite the odd pair.”

William clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. “Hey, Buffy, I just need another few minutes with Giles.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills. “Would you run downstairs and grab us a couple of sodas? I should be ready to go when you get back.”

Buffy nodded dazedly and took the bills. She paused just before entering the hallway and turned back to the two men. “It was um…it was very nice to meet you mister… Giles, I mean.”

“It was a pleasure, Buffy, and I do hope we have a chance to chat some before you leave. I’ll bet you have some wonderfully embarrassing stories about my prize pupil here.” He smiled warmly and watched her head off down the hall for a moment before turning back to William. “And she has no idea that you’re in love with her.”

William was shocked. “What? I mean, I don’t…”

“Oh come on then, it doesn’t take a genius. You introduced her to Jonathon and Andrew, but not to your best friend, the best friend who is reputedly able to get any girl he wants. It’s a bit obvious chap. You want her, you haven’t told her and you know that she is exactly the type that Liam goes for.”

William stared at him for a moment. “Right then… advice?”

Buffy walked away in a daze. Her mind reeled.

Darker half, partner, pair… Liam.

William was gay!

Buffy shook her head. It explained so much, his apparent lack of interest in girls back home and the awkwardness he’d had when he’d told her that things with Drusilla were done. She wondered if he’d always had the feeling, if that was why he’d been so shy growing up. Mostly though, she wondered why he had never told her.

Did he think that she would feel differently about him? Had he been trying to test the waters by introducing her to Andrew and Jonathon? Had he spent the evening trying to gauge her reaction and then decided not to share the truth with her?

She bought the sodas and headed back upstairs. She decided that she wouldn’t tell him that she’d figured it out. Instead, she would just work on making sure that he knew that she loved him either way. She hoped that once he felt secure, he’d tell her the truth himself.

That’s it, she thought, I just need to remind Will that he will always be my best friend.

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy smiled and threw her arms around William’s neck.

He quickly hugged back. “Oi! I’m not complaining, luv, but what did I do to deserve this?”

She shrugged as she pulled away. “Since when do I need a reason to hug my favorite person in the whole wide world?”

He adopted a serious expression, and nodded. “Fair enough.” He grinned suddenly. “Of course, in that case…” he turned quickly, scooping her up into his arms for a bear hug, “… it works both ways.”

Buffy giggled when he placed her back on the ground. Though her mind was still racing a bit to process her earlier discovery, she’d wasted no time in putting her plan to work.

During dinner she’d made sure to mention how happy she was that they were getting a chance to spend time together and to catch up, and she’d even thought to tell him that he looked good and happy. “Oxford suits you, I guess,” she’d said.

Remembering his delighted expression, Buffy was certain that her plan was working. He’ll tell me soon, she thought and wondered why the thought left her both happy and sad.

William couldn’t stop grinning. All afternoon Buffy had been hugging him and telling him how great he was and how much she liked spending time with him. She hadn’t even asked about Liam. He knew it was a lot to hope for, but he was starting to think that maybe she had reconsidered her big plan, or even that she had reconsidered him.

It was in this euphoric state, that William made his next decision. “So, how would you like to try out a little Oxford nightlife tonight? There’s a club. It’s not much, but there’s usually someone spinning records, a bit of dancing, some drinks. It draws a decent crowd on Thursdays.”

Her eyes lit up. “I love dancing.”

“Then it’s a plan.”

She linked arms with him and grinned. “Know what I else I love?”

William’s mouth went dry. He gave his head a little shake. “What’s that pet?”

“I’m totally legal here. I am so getting my drink on.”

He chuckled. “I’ll call a few people and see if anyone wants to join us.”

Buffy beamed. “Cool. I really want to meet all your Oxford people.”

“I bet I can get Fred and Wesley to venture out of their cozy little cocoon for a night on the town in honor of your visit. You’ll like them. They’re good people.”

“What about that friend that your professor mentioned?
Liam? Do you think he’ll join us?”

William barely held back his sigh. “Yeah, I’ll give him a call.”

Sunnydale, California 2004

“But you can’t go. You’re only sixteen. You can’t go to college until you’re eighteen.” Buffy shook her head vehemently.

“That’s not really how it works, Buffy. I’ve already finished all the high school stuff,” he said, shrugging. “I finished it months ago. I took the exams, I got my diploma… I’m done. Now I have to go to college.”

“But… but… there are colleges in California, you can go here. You don’t have to go to stupid Oxford in stupid England.”

“My dad went to Oxford and my grandfather before him. My mum says it would have been important to him and…” He didn’t know how to explain that going to his father’s alma mater would make him feel a little closer to the man who had died before he’d even been born. “And they want me to go there. They offered me a full scholarship.” They also hadn’t tried pressuring him away from literature studies and towards a more monetarily valued field, as several schools had.

Buffy couldn’t hold back her tears, her face reddened and she fisted her hands. “But it’s so far away.”

William nodded, his own eyes glistening. “I know. But it won’t be forever and I’ll come home for visits, and we can write and e-mail, and you can come visit me, too.”

Buffy shook her head. “You’re leaving and you don’t even care.” She ran out of her room.

He wanted to follow her, but his legs wouldn’t move. He collapsed on to her desk chair and buried his face in his hands. He had to do this. He had to go. For all the reasons he’d told her and for some he could barely even admit to himself, William knew he had to leave for a while.

She was only a couple of years younger than he was, but lately those years seemed very important. She was barely fourteen. William knew that she was still too young for the things that he wanted.

Hell, he thought,he was still too young for the things he wanted.

But it didn’t make the feelings go away.

Lately, he couldn’t visit Buffy without ending up hiding in the bathroom disgusted with himself and his urges. He needed some space. He needed to give her a little time to grow up.
But now, he thought,she hates me. He didn’t fight back his tears any longer. His thin shoulders shook with silent sobs as tears streaked their way down his face.

Joyce wasn’t surprised to find Buffy crying in the yard. She and Anne had already discussed how difficult William’s going to school overseas was going to be on both of their children. She knelt beside her daughter and opened her arms. “Come here, sweetie.” She rubbed soothing circles on her child’s back. “I know, sweetie. It’s hard. But it’s not forever. You guys can still talk and he’ll be home for visits.”

“I don’t care. I’m never talking to him again.”

Joyce sighed and pulled her daughter up to look at her face. “No, Buffy. That’s not okay. I know that you’re upset, but you will not hurt your friend like this. You know that William is not going away to hurt your feelings. This is special. He has an amazing opportunity and a good friend would want him to take it.”

Buffy started to speak again, but Joyce held up her hand.
“You need to stop being selfish right now and think about his feelings. Think about how scary this must be for him. He’s the one that has to move far from home and you are only making it worse.”

“Do you think that he’s scared?” she asked in a small voice.

Joyce shook her head. “I don’t know, Buffy. Why don’t you ask him?”

Buffy nodded and gave her mom another hug.

Walking back to her room, Buffy wondered if he was mad at her. Lately, he seemed to be upset with her all the time, but he’d never admit it. He’d just say that he was tired, or that he must be coming down with a cold, and go home early.

She was shocked to find him crying. William was always so reserved. He smiled and laughed some with her, but otherwise, he kept his emotions to himself. He never cried. He hadn’t even cried when he’d broken his leg the year before. She didn’t know what to do.

“Will?”

Surprised by her reappearance, he looked up for a moment before quickly turning away in shame. He pulled his glasses off and wiped his face with his sleeve.

William stood up, his legs shaking, and walked over to stare dazedly out the window. He spoke in a trembling voice. “I won’t go. If you tell me not to, I won’t go.”

Buffy was stunned. She put her hand on his arm and waited for him to turn back and look at her. When he finally met her eyes, she spoke the hardest words she’d ever had to say. “But you have to go, right?”

Oxford, England 2008
William waited anxiously for Buffy to finish getting ready to go out. They were meeting Liam at the club and he’d left a message for Fred and Wesley, inviting them to join if they were free.

He debated whether or not he should tell Liam how he felt about Buffy. He recognized that ordinarily that would be the obvious route to take under the circumstance. Normal men would simply ask their friends to not try to steal the girl they wanted before they admitted to said girl that they wanted them.

Unfortunately, neither William nor Liam was the kind of man that people called normal, and their relationship was unique to say the least.

William was quiet and modest and, though he’d made great strides towards social normalcy, still generally shy. Liam was none of those things. He was a brash and loud Irishman who managed to both annoy and charm everyone he met, especially females. All women it seemed were drawn to Liam; young girls blushed when he spoke and older women clucked about him like mother hens who’d found their lost chick. Where other man would be called scum, he was simply a rogue and a rascal.

Early in their friendship, William had often felt guilty in Liam’s place. Someone, he’d thought, should be ashamed of themselves. But the girls involved never seemed to stay angry very long and so he’d felt silly doing so in their place.

Giles hadn’t been exaggerating. It was indeed surprising that they’d become friends at all. Especially, William thought, when you considered the circumstances in which they’d met. Very few people knew the truth of it, that their meeting in Giles’ office wasn’t really their first. Oh no, William and Liam had something other than a love of Irish writers in common. Liam was the man William had found in his bed that day he’d walked in on Drusilla.

He’d wanted to hate him. He had hated him. But he hadn’t been able to maintain it. The truth was, it simply hadn’t been Liam’s fault any more than it had been his own. Liam hadn’t known about William. He’d only just arrived in town a few days earlier to accept a post as assistant professor at the university. Drusilla had collected him at the pub and fed him a story about staying in her brother’s flat to explain William’s clothing. He’d been nearly as surprised as William was when he’d come home.

William had been horrified to discover their academic connection, but Liam had simply laughed. He’d thrown his arm over the younger man’s shoulders and said that clearly they should get along just fine as all man who appreciate great literature love both tragedy and irony and they already shared both.

So, in spite of all the reasons not to, Liam had taken the role of older brother and William had let him. They were currently working together to research the early influences of Oscar Wilde and would likely publish a series of co-authored articles on the subject. The men shared a competitive nature and working together spurred both to put forth their best work.

The competition tended to spill over into all aspects of their relationship. They competed at chess, trivia, athletics and even drinking. Liam won more than his share and William had no desire to let Buffy become the latest contest. He worried, however, that allowing his interest to be known might cause just that to occur. Even worse, he thought, Liam might just try to help him.

Liam had expressed his concerns many times. He worried that William was letting the business with Dru hold him back. He’d tried to fix his friend up on numerous occasions. William knew there was a chance that he’d pull some sort of stunt where Buffy was concerned, thinking that it was all for William’s own good. Liam tended to do what he thought best, regardless of William’s opinion.

And thus, William was stuck. If he didn’t say anything then Liam would almost inevitably try to pick up Buffy. If he did say something, the situation could be even worse.

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy smiled widely. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

“William said you were pretty. He was wrong, Lass. You’re a vision.” Liam winked as he brought Buffy’s hand up to his lips.

She giggled when he proceeded to kiss her hand gallantly.

William clenched his jaw and fought the urge to punch the other man, toss Buffy over his shoulder and run home. He watched as they effortlessly exchanged small-talk and wished he had at least tried to convince Buffy to wear a less revealing outfit. She looked good in jeans, but clothed in a denim mini skirt, a backless halter top and knee high stiletto heeled boots, William knew Buffy was going to attract every man in the club. He himself had barely managed to walk out the door once she’d made her big entrance.

Buffy watched Liam with a dazed smile. He was nothing like she’d been expecting. She simply couldn’t imagine her friend with this man. Oh, he was charming and attractive to be sure, but he was nothing like her Will.

She’d figured that William’s boyfriend would be more like him, calm, quiet and clearly intelligent. Also, she thought with slight frown, this guy is huge. He was a good few inches taller than William and had to weigh at least fifty pounds more.

She really didn’t want to focus on the details too much, but the thought of Liam in bed with William terrified her. Surely, Will would end up crushed or smothered.

Pushing the thoughts out of her head, she forced herself to focus on what Liam was saying. She didn’t want William to think that she didn’t like his partner. It was important, she thought, that William know that she would always support his decisions.

“…and so I tell me Da, Da it couldn’t have been the rooster, he only has the one leg.” Liam laughed and hit the table with his fist.

William couldn’t help but join him in amusement.

Buffy laughed gamely, though she’d missed the entire story and took another sip of her drink. It was good; she’d have to remember that she liked Sex on the Beach. She was considering the drink’s name when William spoke.

“I left a message for Wes and Fred. I was hoping they’d join us tonight.”

Liam shook his head. “Ah, I’m fairly sure they had to head over to Leeds to visit the Wyndham-Pryce estate.” He leaned in conversationally, “Poor Fred.”

William frowned and nodded.

Liam turned to Buffy. “Enough of this. A pretty little thing like you should be dancing. Will you do me the honor?” He stood up, bowed at the waist and held out his hand.

Buffy nodded. “I’d love to, kind sir.” She followed Liam out to the dance floor.

Three songs later, William was still watching them with a scowl. He just keeps touching her, he thought, and she keeps letting him. He knew Buffy was thinking about having a fling, but he couldn’t believe that she’d be so cavalier about letting a man touch her. When he saw Liam turn her and pull her back snug against him, William had seen enough. He was propelled angrily towards them.
“Bloody hell, mate. She’s… she’s just a kid. Get your hands off her.”

The two stopped dancing and stared at him in surprise.

“Mate, she’s clearly not a little girl and she seems quite happy with my hands on her. Maybe it’s time to put away the concerned big brother, right?”

William saw red. “Don’t push me, mate.”

Buffy pulled away from Liam and stepped in front of William. She placed her hands on Will’s arms. “Whoa, Will, relax. It’s not like he’s hitting on me.”

Liam looked confused. “It’s not?”

“Bloody hell, Buffy. Of course, he is.”

Buffy shook her head. “Will, I know”

“You know what?”

“I know.” She looked at him encouragingly. “I know about you and Liam.”

“You know what exactly, pet?”

She sighed heavily. “Will, I know that you and Liam are together.”

Both men stared at her with open confusion.

“You’re gay.”

“What!”

“Bloody hell!”

“It’s okay, Will.”

“It sure as hell isn’t. I’m not gay.”

It was Buffy’s turn to look confused. “But… Giles said he was your partner.”

“Research partner, luv. He’s my research partner.”

“But what about Andrew and Jonathon?”

Liam answered. “Very gay.”

“And… and Fred and Wesley? I mean all your friends are gay couples and I just thought…”

Liam was laughing so hard he could barely stand up. He wiped a tear of the corner of his eye and looked at William. “You never mentioned that Fred was short for Winnifred, mate.”

William didn’t respond ,he just stared in pale-faced horror at Buffy. She thought I was gay, he thought, all the hugs were because she thought I was gay. She wasn’t thinking about me as a perspective lover, she was thinking of me as a bloody girlfriend. He thought he might be sick.

Buffy bit her lip and glanced over at William quickly. She looked back at Liam. “Fred’s a girl?”

He nodded. “A rather hot girl actually, but don’t tell old Wes I said it.”

She looked back and forth between the two men. “So you’re really not…”

Liam shook his head. “Well, I’m certainly not. I’m afraid I cannot really be sure about young William here.”

William’s head snapped towards him. “What the hell are you on about?”

“I’m just saying, I haven’t really seen you with a lass in a long while mate,” he shrugged.

William glared. “Some of us are a bit more discerning about the girls we bring home than others.”

Liam just chuckled and William turned towards Buffy. “We’re leaving.”

She nodded and wondered how you apologize to someone for thinking that they were gay. Liam had seemed to find the whole thing funny, but William looked really upset. She followed him quietly out the door.

Neither spoke for several minutes.

“You really thought I was gay.” There was a touch of wonder in his tone but it was clearly a statement and not a question.

Buffy answered in a small voice, “I’m sorry.”

William turned to her and shrugged. “You don’t need to apologize, pet. It was a… a misunderstanding. I get that. You didn’t mean any insult.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Me too, pet.”

Buffy didn’t hide her confusion. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one that just…” her eyes widened as she recalled the scene from twenty minutes earlier. She shook her head in disbelief.

“I used to tell you everything, but I stopped.” He didn’t look at her, he just kept walking.

Buffy wasn’t sure how to respond. She fell into pace beside him and waited to see if he would continue.

“There were some things… I mean there are some things you just don’t tell anyone.”

Buffy shrugged. “You could have told me. You could have told me anything. I don’t understand what this has to do….”

He laughed hard.

“Will?”

“Buffy, luv, I hit puberty when you were nine. I was supposed to tell you about dubious hair growth and wet dreams?”

“Will!” She blushed, but laughed softly.

“You see my point.”

“Yeah, but…”

“But I held back too much. I kept too many secrets. If I had shared more…”

“You mean, like you could have mentioned that you like girls?”

“That does seem to be an important detail that I’ve left out, but I... certainly I mentioned dating Dru.”

“You didn’t say much.”

He frowned. “But I would have used the correct pronoun.”

Buffy shrugged. “One girl, I thought maybe you had just given it a try, or that you could have just used a girl’s name when you talked to me. I just thought that you didn’t want me to know.”

William laughed and gestured that they were back at his place. “I’ll tell you what, pet, I ever decide that I’m attracted to blokes-you’ll be the first to know.”

She waited until he’d closed the door behind them to speak. “You still think of me as a kid.”

He shook his head. “I don’t.”

“You said so tonight. You came running over and told your friend to stop, that I was just a kid.” She raised her eyes to meet his head on. “I’m not. You might have missed it, but I grew up.”

Swallowing hard, William shook his head again. “I know. Trust me, Buffy. I know.”

Buffy wasn’t sure why, but his words brought a blush to her cheeks. She looked away. “Then why?”

“He’s a… Liam’s my mate, luv, and he’s great in a lot of ways, but he’s a… I’ve seen him sweet talk girls into screwing him in the bathroom of that club.”

“And you thought I might do that?”

“What? No! I just... I just didn’t want him touching you.”

“Okay.”

William looked up in shock. “What?” He’d been expecting a fight.

Buffy just shrugged. “Okay.”

Sunnydale, California 1996

“That was a lot of puke. I mean, like a really lot.” Buffy scrunched her face to show her disgust, but her tone held a note of wonder and awe.

William, still a bit queasy, raised his head and nodded miserably.

“Do you think you got more in you?”

“I don’t know. I ate a lot of pizza and cake.”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, nodding vigorously, sending her pigtails bouncing.

William watched their movement for a moment before starting to feel dizzy again. He looked back down at the floor.

“I can do a cartwheel now. Do you want to see? It’ll cheer you up.” The newly turned six year old girl asked eagerly.

“I don’t think so, Buffy. Maybe you could just sit down?”

“Okay.” She boosted herself up to sit on the bench next to him and swung her legs back and forth beneath her.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Cordelia and Willow ran over.

“Buffy, your mom says that we have time to ride the twister one more time. Come on!”

“Nah. I’m gonna sit with William.”

The girls looked at her like she was crazy before shrugging and heading toward the ride without her.

William’s face lit up as though he were looking upon a goddess. “But it’s your favorite and it’s your birthday.”

Buffy shrugged. “I’ll stay with you.”

Oxford, England 2008

William watched Buffy dance with a slight frown. They’d decided to try the club again. This time he was glad to have Wesley and Fred join them, as well as Liam.

Buffy and Fred had hit the dance floor almost immediately, leaving the three men to guard their table, drinks and bags.

Liam watched William’s increasing displeasure with a grin. Poor lad has got it bad, he thought while biting back a chuckle at William’s heavy sigh. He leaned closer. “That is no kid, my friend.”

William glared but nodded, reluctantly agreeing. “I’m well aware,” he snorted softly. “It was actually easier when she was still a kid.” He glanced back towards Buffy and clenched his jaw. “Who is that guy?” He gestured irritably towards the young man who had just approached Buffy and Fred. William narrowed his eyes. “Is he what girls consider good looking, do you suppose? Is she laughing? How could she even hear him so close to the speakers?”

Liam chuckled at that. “All this time, I thought it was Dru that did a number on your head. But that little thing beat her to it, didn’t she?”

“Leave it alone, Liam.”

“William, lad, that girl looks at you like you’re the second coming. What’s the problem?”

It was William’s turn to laugh. “Bollocks, that girl looks at me and sees her big brother, her apparently homosexual big brother.”

Wesley had only been half-listening to the conversation. He choked on his drink. “How’s that again?”

Liam flashed him a big grin. “Oh yes, it turns out Willie here and I are lovers. I’m thinking he’s the wife, right?”

William scowled as Wesley appeared to consider it and Liam reached over to pat him on the back.

“It can’t be helped, mate. You’re the pretty one. Besides, I just don’t have the thighs for a mini skirt.” He laughed at his own joke. “Look, you love her and she loves you. The hard part’s done. Now we just have to convince her to play with your sadly neglected prick.”

“You’re disgusting. You do know that you’re a seriously troubled pig of a man, yes?”

“The consensus seems to point that way. But I ask you, if I were really so bad would I give the warning?”

William furrowed his brow and tipped his head to the side. “And what warning is that?”

“Go dance with your girl, or I will.”

William glared at him before turning back to look at the dance floor. He watched as Buffy danced with Fred and considered doing what Liam had suggested. He didn’t doubt that Liam would be true to his word and dance with Buffy if he didn’t head over there soon.

Wesley laughed softly. “He does make a point, William.” When William simply glanced his way, eyebrow arched, he continued. “The girl wouldn’t be here if she didn’t care about you and you are most definitely not her brother. Perhaps you should… remind her of that.”

“Why didn’t I think of that?” He mumbled as he stood up and pushed back his chair. William’s eyes settled on Buffy and, with an air of determination, he headed her way.

He was nearly there when a large and clearly inebriated man swayed and knocked Buffy off her feet. Falling hard, Buffy gasped audibly and reached for her ankle. William was at her side in a flash, lifting her into his arms before she’d even noticed his presence. She squeaked and looked at him in shock.

“Will!”

“I’ve got you.”

“I’m… I can walk… you don’t have to…” she was still protesting when they got back to the table.

William ignored her words as he gently placed her on a chair and dropped to his knees to check her ankle. “I don’t understand how you walk in these bloody things.” He quickly untied the lacings holding on her dainty high-heeled sandal and began tracing her ankle with his thumb.

“Hey, I love these... Ouch!”

“It’s already swelling. We should go to the hospital.”
Rolling her eyes, Buffy placed her hand on William’s shoulder. “It’s probably just twisted. I’ll put on some ice and it will be fine again tomorrow.”

Continuing to rub her ankle, William frowned up at her. “I don’t know, Buffy. What if it’s a fracture?”

“It’s not fracture, Will. Seriously, I’ll just make an icepack when we get home.”

Hearing her call his place home gave William a quick, warm feeling. “All right, I’ll call for a cab.”

“Already done,” Liam waved his phone and grinned. “They said it would be outside in a few moments.”

William looked up, surprised. “Thanks.” He gave Fred and Wesley a smile. “Sorry guys, I think Buffy should really get off this foot.”

Fred nodded. “Of course, we’ll get together again soon.”
She grinned at Buffy, “It was really nice to finally meet you.”

“You too!” Buffy grinned at the other girl. She was about to continue when William slid his arm under her knees and around her waist to pull her back into his arms. Buffy smacked at his chest lightly. “I’m not a cripple. Put me down.”

“Oh, let him play the hero, lass.”

William chuckled. “Yeah, it makes me feel all manly.”
“Is that so?” Buffy giggled.

“Yep. Next thing you know I’m going to take up playing Rugby and learn how to belch the alphabet.”

“Ugh,” Buffy wrinkled her nose in displeasure, “please don’t.”

William feigned an injured look. “What pet, you don’t think I’d look fetching in a team jersey?” He gave her a little toss, shifting her closer to him and winked.

Buffy’s eyes widened; she’d never seen William act so playful in front of other people. She found it was both delightful and irritating, as a part of her liked that Will had only shared that part of himself with her. She was his best friend, she thought, she should get to see stuff no one else did.

“I feel that I should point out that you playing hero has not always worked out so well in the past.”

“You wound me, pet.”

“I seem to recall a broken wrist.”

Liam walked in front of them. “Now that sounds like a story. I’ll get the door and you all can share it.”

Buffy spoke first. “William was trying to rescue me.”

“Only after you climbed that tree, which I’ll remind you I did suggest at the time was a bad idea,” he nodded a thank you to Liam as he turned to walk through the door. “Anyway, Buffy climbs this tree in my yard and when she gets too high, she panics and says she can’t climb down.”

“So Will decides to climb up and save me, only he falls and I hear this horrible crunching sound.”

“At which point Buffy is magically able to climb down again.”
“Hey, I was so worried about you, I forgot to be scared.” She gave him a half-hearted swat.

William smirked. “Or, you were just messing with me to begin with.”

Buffy’s mouth made a little ‘O”. “I was scared to death for you. I made the doctors let me stay with you at the hospital the whole time we were there.”

William looked at Liam and nodded. “It’s true. She spent the entire day at my side and once I fell asleep, she decorated my cast with doodles of pink and yellow flowers.”

Liam chuckled loudly and grinned at Buffy. “You didn’t?”

Buffy shrugged and bit her lip. “I was like eight at the time.” She pouted for moment before spotting the taxi. “Look, it’s here.”

Liam grabbed the door so that William could place Buffy on the seat and then walked with him around to the other door.

William paused for a second before getting in to give him a serious look. “Thanks, for um… thanks.”

Liam inclined his head in a gesture of understanding and waited until William got in before grinning widely. Leaning down, he quickly wished Buffy a speedy recovery and then bunching William’s shirt in his hand, pulled the younger man towards him for large smacking kiss on the forehead. “Don’t forget to call me later, sweetmeat.” He winked playfully at Buffy as William swore and wiped his face in disgust, and shut the door.

William turned to Buffy. “You realize he could easily carry on like this for months?”

Buffy cringed. “Did I mention the sorry part?”

“I don’t know, pet. My ego is pretty well wounded here. I think you’re going to have to make it up to me.”

“And how could I do that?”

William appeared to consider it for a moment before pointing expectantly at his cheek. When Buffy only giggled in response, he spoke. “Seriously, luv, you cannot expect me to go to sleep knowing that my last kiss came from that brute of an Irishman.”

Buffy laughed again, but leaned over obligingly to give him a quick kiss on the suggested cheek. As she brushed her lips across his skin, she was shocked to find herself noticing how good he smelled. She wondered fleetingly if he would taste that good as well. She scolded herself for the rampant pervy thoughts as she settled back on to her side of the seat. “Better?,” she asked.

“Definitely.”

Oxford, England 2008

“Seriously, Willow, you would think I’d broken it the way he’s acting.”

Buffy heard Willow giggle over the phone. “Well, he’s always been pretty protective of you, right?”

“I guess,” Buffy said shrugging, even though her friend clearly couldn’t see her.

“Buffy, the only time I ever heard that kid talk was when he thought you needed defending.”

“He talks.”

“To you.”

“To lots of people now, he’s… changed.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I mean, he’s still Will, you know? When it’s just us, he doesn’t seem so different, but with other people…”

“He talks?”

“Yeah. And he like, jokes and stuff. I guess he just isn’t so shy anymore.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, of course it is.”

Willow could hear her friend’s apprehension through the phone, but knew that pressing wasn’t likely to help. When Buffy wanted to talk about whatever it was she was thinking about, she would bring it up herself. “So other than the ankle, you’re having a good time?”

“Oh yeah! Did you know that I can go clubbing here? Like legally.”

“You might have mentioned that a few times.”

Buffy giggled. “There’s a drink called Sex on the Beach, its yumminess is unequaled.”

“Which kind of reminds me of your plan. Any progress? Does William have any cute friends?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Not really. I mean, yes, but no one that I’d really want to… you know.”

“Too bad.”

“Yeah. Hey, you know, I should get off the phone. My mom gave me the phone card with strict instructions to call every three days to check in. If we stay on much longer, I’ll run out of minutes.”

“Okay. Send me an e-mail soon. Ooh, send me one with pics.”

“All right. Bye, Willow.”

“Talk to you soon. Have fun!”

Buffy hung up the phone and glanced around William’s apartment. Now what?, she thought. She’d promised to stick around the apartment and not push her ankle too much. Even though, she thought grumpily, it really didn’t hurt anymore.

She walked over to Will’s speakers and fiddled with his iPod. She didn’t really recognize a lot of the bands on it, so she just set it to play songs at random.

A glance at the clock told her that he probably wouldn’t be back for a while still. So, with a sigh, she headed over to the wall of bookshelves. She knew she wouldn’t find the latest Nora Roberts or Kelley Armstrong, but she thought maybe he would have something to keep her entertained for a bit.
Several minutes of rummaging hadn’t procured much. In fact, she was just about to give up when she discovered something intriguing; William had an illustrated copy of The Kama Sutra. Her eyes widened when she realized that it had real photographs and not just highly stylized drawings, like the one she’d seen at the bookstore.

With a mischievous grin, she brought it in to the bedroom to take a closer look.

When Liam told him that he could handle the study group on his own, William eagerly took the opportunity to head home early. He was still a little concerned that Buffy’s ankle could be more seriously injured than she thought.

Opening the front door, William was a little surprised not to find her sitting on the couch. Thinking that she might have fallen asleep, though it seemed unlikely with the loud music, he walked quietly over to peek into his bedroom.

She was not asleep.

His copy of The Kama Sutra lay open on the bed where she’d been reading it. Her eyes were closed, her skirt bunched nearly to her waist and her fingers worked rapidly beneath her panties.

William took in the scene, her pink cheeks, the little moan her mouth looked ready to make, the flash of pink satin between her thighs and dropped his bag.
“Oh, dear god.”

Buffy’s eyes flew open. She screamed once in shock and dove beneath the blanket. After a moment, her voice came out in a high squeak. “Please be not here.”

William worked hard to get past his shock. “Buffy, please it’s not…”

“Out!”

“It’s not a big deal. Don’t be…”

Another squeak came from beneath the blankets. “Leave now and forget this… oh god, this happened. Please leave and don’t say anything… ever.”

William stood stock still. He spoke quietly but firmly. “Or I could help you.”

The words were shocking enough to bring Buffy’s head out from under the comforter. She stared at him open-mouthed for a moment. “Have you lost your mind?”

Swallowing hard, William squared his shoulders and took a step closer to the bed. “I know about your plan. I saw what you wrote to Willow.” He quickly held up his hand to prevent her outraged response. “Hold on there, pet. I wasn’t snooping… rather wish I hadn’t seen it. You didn’t close out the window. I just… I just meant to check my e-mail.”

Buffy gave another little squeak and turned her face away.
William forced himself to continue. “The point… the point is, I get it. You want to learn about sex. That’s… normal. You want to learn; I’ll show you.” He shrugged.

Buffy turned slowly towards him. “Will that’s… that’s nuts.”

“Why?”

“William…”

“No. Hear me out. When you wanted to learn long division, who showed you the steps?”

“You, but…”

William continued on determinedly. “Who spotted you when you decided to try for that world record book by doing the most continuous backwards flips on the trampoline?”

“Will…” Buffy’s voice took on a pleading tone.

He took a step towards her, a determined glint lighting his eyes. “When your mum said that couldn’t go to Disneyland unless you brought up your science grades, who sat up with you all night so that you could memorize the periodic table for extra credit?”

“You did, of course… Will, I’m not saying that you’re not my best friend. It’s just… this is different… sex is…”

William tipped his head to the side and studied her for a moment. “Special?” he asked carefully.

She agreed with a note of relief. “Yeah.”

William looked down for a moment before bringing his eyes up to meet hers straight on. “And yet… and yet you plan to share it with a stranger.”

Buffy paled. Unable to respond, she looked away.

“Buffy.”

“I get it. You’re disappointed in me.”

“No. That’s not it at all. Buffy, you… you’re always looking for an adventure. I admire you for that. And I know better than anyone that patience has never really been your forte. This is… you looking for your next adventure. I get that. I get you.” He gave her a weak smile. “It’s also a hormones thing, which is also something I understand.”

“Then… why?”

“Pet…I just…” William sighed and took the final two steps to the bed and sat carefully on the edge. Keeping his eyes focused on the blanket by his knee, he started again. “Did I ever tell you that Dru was older?”

Buffy shook her head in an effort to clear the jumble of thoughts. “Your ex-girlfriend?”

William scoffed. “Yeah, her.”

“You never really… how old?”

“Thirty-two.”

“Will!”

“I thought… I thought I was special. She seemed exotic, worldly… I thought I was important to her too, but I wasn’t, luv. It was just a game. It took months for me to catch on and in the meantime, she slept with half the students here, and more than few of the professors.”

“Oh, Will! You never… why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I felt ridiculous, pet, used and… dirty. I spent months getting tested; they’d come back clean and I’d try a different clinic. I was sure that I was… damaged, I guess. I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to see me like that, like some fool…”

Buffy scooted closer and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I could never think that of you. You know that.”

“I hope so. The thing of it is. I found something that worried me more than you thinking that I’m a… and that’s you feeling that way about yourself. I just want better for you, pet. I need better for you.”

Buffy’s eyes watered. “Will, that’s…” She gave him a firm squeeze. “That’s incredibly sweet, but it doesn’t mean you have to sleep with me.”

William turned abruptly in her arms. His eyes met hers. “Would it be so awful Buffy? To look at me, to… touch me, would it be so awful? Am I so…?”

“No! Of course, that’s not...” Buffy paused to chew on her bottom lip. She blushed and finished quietly, “You’re beautiful.”

His eyes widened and he reached over to cup her cheek with his hand. “How about this then?” He leaned in close and brushed his lips across hers before asking, “Is this awful?” Without waiting for a response, he claimed her lips for a kiss.

It was over before Buffy could react. One second he was kissing her and the next he’d pulled back to study her reaction. She stared back at him with widened eyes and brought her fingers up to touch her own lips.

William was terrified, but he pressed forward. “Well, pet? Was it awful?”

Buffy could see the anxiety behind William’s bold act. He was, she realized, truly concerned that she might think he was a bad kisser. She shook her head. “Not awful. Definitely… not awful.”

He grinned slowly, looking for all the world like a little boy hoping to charm his way to an extra cookie. “Would I be pushing it if I suggest that it was, perhaps, better than just… not awful?”

She giggled for a moment and then got quiet. “You really think that we could… do that, together, and… and that it wouldn’t get too weird? What if we had to stop being friends? If I lost you…”

“Never.” William shook his head firmly. “You could never lose me.”

Buffy worried her lip as she considered what he’d said. The idea held appeal, quite a lot of appeal actually. That wasn’t the problem. She couldn’t even voice the problem to herself; she just knew that they were headed towards dangerous territory and, that it scared her. She nodded.

“Buffy?”

“Show me.”

William was mute with surprise, his eyes widened as he realized what she was saying. “You’re… you’re certain? You want…”

“Be my sex tutor, William.”

“Right, your tutor, because… right,” he nodded slowly before settling his eyes on the bed.

Buffy watched him anxiously for a moment. “Will? Have you… I mean… did you change your mind?”

“What? No, I…”

“Ok, so umm… what’s first?”

His head shot up. “What, you mean now?”

Shrugging, Buffy responded. “Why not? I mean, we are already on the bed.” She smiled playfully.

William wondered fleetingly how her words could make him both hard and nauseous. He wanted her so badly that he’d just jumped, he’d made the suggestion with no thought of how it would make him feel, and now it hit him. He could make love to Buffy, but she’d have to think it was just a friendly lesson. For a moment, just one small moment, he considered backing out. Then he looked at her, sitting on his bed smiling at him, and all self-protective thoughts rushed out of his mind.

She wants me, he thought in awe. He knew that she didn’t want him like he wanted her, but he told himself that it didn’t matter. It was enough, for right then it was enough because it was a chance. “Right then,” he said. “Now it is.”

He moved to sit with his back against the headboard.

Quickly toeing off his shoes, he placed his legs out straight on the bed in front of him. When he’d finished, he turned back to Buffy and crooked his finger. “Come here, luv.”

Surprise and a touch of fear glowed in her eyes, but she moved closer and allowed him to pull her so that she sat across his thighs. Following his gaze, she realized that his suddenly dark look was a reaction to watching her skirt ride higher up her thighs. She fought the urge to try to shove it back down and waited for him to look back up. When he did, she gasped. He looked… hungry, she decided. She clenched her thighs at the sudden rush of arousal running through her body, but found that the feel of him between her legs only increased the sensation.

William cupped one hand behind her head and pulled her towards him for a kiss. He shook from the effort of it, but he kept his lips soft on hers and waited patiently for her to respond. She did so almost immediately, the movement of her lips against his shy but eager. When he traced her bottom lip with his tongue, she whimpered and pressed her mouth more firmly against his.

Hearing her response, he loosened the chains holding back his desire the slightest bit and deepened the kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, wanting to mark each bit of unexplored territory as his own.

How, he wondered, can she possibly not know that she is mine? He’d show her, he thought; make her burn for him as he did for her.

He pulled his mouth from hers to kiss and nip the sensitive skin just below her ear and whispered in a deep, hoarse voice, “Gonna make you feel so good, luv.” When her fingers tightened their hold on his upper arms, he continued hotly. “I’m gonna make you feel so bloody good, you’ll forget your name. You’ll whimper and beg for me before I’m through with you.”

As soon as the words were off his lips, he worried that he’d pushed it too far. He froze, terrified that she would see through his act. What would happen, he wondered, if she realized just how badly I want her?

Buffy gasped, “Will,” and slammed her mouth back on to his. Forgetting her name seemed plenty likely at the moment. She couldn’t think through the clouds of sensation and arousal that filled her head. She felt her heart, like a bass guitar, thumping out a frantic beat inside her chest. “Oh god, Will!” She needed more and moved suddenly to pull herself closer.

William’s hands flew down to grip tightly at her hips. He pressed her back down his thighs, knowing that if she moved any closer his desire would be all too evident.
She whimpered in frustration. “I want to feel it,” she whispered before pointedly bringing her gaze down to the front of his jeans.

Right then, he thought, she already knows. He tugged her roughly up to his lap and arched his hips. Keeping his grasp firm, he pressed himself against her and groaned. “God, you’re so hot, kitten. Gonna burn me up, you are.”

Buffy moaned and pulled her hands off his arms. She brought them up to cup the sides of his face, making him meet her eyes before she spoke. “More.”

He nodded and used his hands to guide her to rock slowly against him. “That’s it… like that, luv. Feels so good.” He fought the urge to throw back his head and watched her instead. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and continued rubbing herself against him. She was getting close, he could tell and he wanted the job of sending her over for himself. He rolled them both so that she was on her back.

Her eyes flew open and she groaned in frustration at the loss of contact. He moved quickly to lie on his side beside her and dipped his head to kiss her. He brought his hand to trace up the inside of her thigh.

When he pushed beneath the hem of her skirt, she froze. He lifted his head to see her suddenly nervous expression. His hand stilled and he moved to give her a soft kiss. “Relax luv,” he murmured, “I just want to make you feel good.” He moved his hand to stroke her gently through her panties and watched the arousal return to her face. He grinned, loving the way she responded to his touch so easily.

She fisted the blankets in her hands, wanting more but still too nervous to ask.

William brought his lips close to her ear. “God, but you’re a sight, luv. All pink and flushed. Bloody gorgeous.” When she turned her head to look at him in surprise, he continued. “Tell me.”

She shook her head slightly in confusion. “Tell you what? Will?”

“Anything, Buffy, tell me what you want. Tell me that you like me touching you. Tell me.” His mind filled in what he still couldn’t say, tell me that you love me.

“I do.”

He swallowed hard. He hadn’t said it; she didn’t mean it like that. He forced himself to smirk slightly. “You do what, luv?” His fingers paused and he arched an eyebrow at her.

Her hips bucked of their own accord. “Will! Do it!”

He laughed softly and teased, “Do what, kitten?”

She frowned at him in irritation. Her hands let go of the blankets to grasp his hair instead. She met his eyes head on. “Take me.”

William nearly blacked out. After a moment, he nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’ll do that. But not yet.” He slid a finger beneath the edge of her panties to stroke her soft, wet skin. His finger inched upward as hers tugged hard on his hair.

He drew slow circles around her center and leaned close again. “You want me to take you, luv? You want me to bury myself deep inside your hot little body? I could fill you up, make you feel so good.”

She nodded, hard. “Yes. Please, Will!”

“I want to see you come first.” He slid his thumb in to give her a light pinch and sent her spiraling over the edge.
She gasped and clutched at his shoulders, as though desperate for something to keep her from drowning in the sensations flooding her body.

When she was done, she dropped back to the bed and gazed at him breathlessly. She shook her head. “But why didn’t you…”

William dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I told you, luv. I just want to make you feel good.”

“But I wanted to…”

“We’ll get there. We got a few steps to climb first, yeah?”

She frowned. “But… what about you?”

His eyes widened, but he shook his head. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“What if I want to? Not the worrying,” she ducked her head. “What if I want to make you feel good, too? Can I?”

Sunnydale, California 1998

William shrugged. “All right.”

“So, how do you think we should do it?” At his blank look, Buffy continued, “I mean, like, there’s French style, they stick their tongues in each other’s mouths.”

He made a face. “How about just regular style?”

“Okay.” Buffy hopped off of her swing and headed towards a more secluded spot on the playground.

William followed anxiously.

She stopped abruptly, and swiveled to face her friend. “Okay.”

“What?”

“Kiss me.”

“Oh, all right.” William frowned gently, considering. His head bent forward slightly and then jerked back up. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, we have to practice or we’ll be bad at it.”
He nodded in recognition of the sound argument and leaned forward again. Gathering all his nerves, he closed his eyes and quickly pressed his lips to hers.

Oxford, England 2008

“Can you…? Um… yeah, yeah kitten. You can…” William sighed and shook his head slightly as looked at her. “We can do whatever you want.”

Buffy smiled widely for a moment before furrowing her brow. “I don’t really, that is…I’ve never…” She stopped as though considering something. “But you’ll tell me how, right?”

“How to…?”

“How to make you, you know…come.”

William nodded to himself. Of course, he thought, I’m being tested. I’m already headed to hell for suggesting the whole sex teacher scenario and now God is determining exactly which level to send me to. He took one look at Buffy, kneeling in front of him waiting for instructions on how to please him sexually, and decided that it was going to be a special one. “Yeah, luv. I’ll tell you… everything you need to know.”

Buffy grinned. Leaning closer, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

His hands flew up to grasp her shoulders. “Right then, we can start right there. Kiss me.”

Scooting closer, she brought her lips to his.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the gentle kissing for a moment before pulling back slightly and reaching out to hold her chin lightly. “That was nice, kitten. Now, stop holding back and kiss me.”

Her eyes widened.

“You’re the most passionate person I’ve ever met, Buffy. Show me that.” He smiled softly at her scowl of annoyance. “Now, stop thinking and just kiss me.”

Buffy moved even closer and slammed her mouth on his. The kiss started with a hint of anger, but quickly morphed into an expression of need and frustration. Her hands came up to grip his head tightly as her tongue pushed its way past his lips. She teased him, playfully swiping at his tongue and retreating.

William groaned as he brought his tongue up to battle. After a few minutes, he pulled back slightly and gripped her wrists in his hands. He pulled them down and held them tightly between their bodies. “Touch me. Touch me with your fingers, your lips, your tongue, anything-just touch me.” He pressed her hands to his chest.

She grinned and spread her fingers against the firm wall of muscles. Touching, she thought, definitely sounds good. She moved her hands tentatively over his chest, down to his stomach and back up to his shoulders.

With a soft moan, William gave in to the urge to close his eyes and simply enjoy the warm pressure of her hands. He was startled a few moments later by the feel of her unbuttoning his shirt. He could tell that her small hands were trembling, though he couldn’t tell whether they shook from nerves or lust. He opened his eyes to watch her.

She had her eyes focused on the button between her fingers and she bit her lip gently in concentration. It was an expression that William had seen on her face countless times and one that never failed to bring him a smile.

He tried to be patient, but after a few seconds of watching her struggle, William reached down and yanked the shirt over his head. He quickly did the same with his t-shirt.

Buffy gasped at the sight of him. He was lean, clothed he could even be mistaken for skinny, but no one would mistake him for weak once they’d seen him like this.
She brought a single finger up to trace the line between the finely sculpted muscles of his abdomen. When the hell, she thought, did Will get so… so hot?Looking up, she saw the anxious look on his face and wondered suddenly if it was possible that he really didn’t know how attractive he was. She gave him a little smile. “Seriously, you should take off your shirt more often.”

Giving a chuckle that seemed more like a quick exhale, William grinned and gave her a mock, puzzled look. He glanced theatrically over to where his shirt hung from the side of the bed. “What’s wrong with my shirt?”

She giggled softly before leaning close enough for him to feel the moist heat of her breath against his skin. “It makes it harder for me to do this,” she whispered before bringing the tip of her tongue to his nipple. She gave it a quick lick and a kiss and moved to do the same to the other. When he groaned, she looked back up at him with overly innocent eyes. “Did you have any more instructions for me or do I get to play for a bit?”

William swallowed hard. Smirking, he ran his hands around her waist and slid them down to cup her rear. He roughly pulled her body towards his. “Thought you were all eager to learn a bit, pet.”

She hugged her arms around his neck and teased playfully, “Maybe you’ve already taught me plenty.”

“Is that so?” At her nod, he reached up and drew one of her hands down his chest and stomach. Placing it on his belt, he looked at her expectantly. “Brilliant, then you can finish the job.”

Buffy’s eyes widened for a moment before she pulled on a mask of fake confidence. “It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked before.” She sat back on her heels.

“How’s that?” His eyes widened and his head dipped to the side.

“I was curious.”

“When?” He looked shocked now.

She blushed, but couldn’t quite keep her self-satisfaction from showing on her face. “Cordy told me that boys had different parts, so I snuck a peek when you were changing for the pool.”

“Different…” he shook his head in amusement. “How old were we?”

“I think I was five.”

“And already a deviant.”

“I was not, I was just… curious.”

“So you spied on me putting on my swimmers.” He laughed and leaned in to whisper in her ear, “I don’t mean to brag luv, but it’s more than a bit bigger now.”

“Will!” She blushed.

“I just figured I’d save you the trouble of sneaking in on me in the shower. You know, in case you felt curious again.”
“Why would I be curious?” At his frown, she continued, “I’m gonna get more than a peek if I’m to ‘finish the job’, right?”

His frown grew. “Buffy, I was just teasing. You don’t have to…” he reached over to cup the side of her face. “Luv, you must know that I’d never want you to…”

Misunderstanding what he was trying to say, Buffy cut him off anxiously, “But you… I know you were liking it ‘cause you were all… and if you want me to do something different or whatever... you said you’d show me.”

William shook his head. “Whoa, pet.” He brought his other hand up so he was framing her face. “I wasn’t saying that I didn’t… I just want to make sure that you know that I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do, ever.”

“Oh.” She looked embarrassed for a moment, but nodded. “That’s… I already know that, Will.”

“Good, so… good.”

Buffy watched him nod for a moment and wondered about the conversation he was clearly having in his own head. “So, I can get on with it then? We’re all set with the talky stuff now?” She watched as her words made their way through the haze in his head.

He looked startled for the smallest of moments before a grin swept across his face. He leaned in so that his mouth was only centimeters from hers. “And here I was sure that you liked me talking to you, telling you all the things that I could do to that perky little body of yours, all the ways I could make you scream and come, how pretty you’ll look writhing beneath me and…”

She whimpered. “Will.”

He chuckled, and placing his hands on her shoulders, he guided her down onto her back. He touched his mouth to hers for a sweet kiss and settled down beside her. His finger slid across her lips and his eyes grew distant. “You tasted like bubblegum. In the park that day… you tasted like bubblegum, but now…” He looked at her curiously.

“Mango lipgloss.” Something about his remark seemed important to her or odd at least, but she couldn’t define it. She pushed the thought away.

“It’s nice.” He leaned in for another kiss and pulled her bottom lip between his. He gave it a quick lick. “Mmm… nice.”

She gasped. “You… taste nice too.” Her lips formed a small pout. “I’m supposed to be making you… happy, but you got all bossy again.”

“Trust me, luv. You’re making me plenty happy.” He kissed down her neck and, pushing her shirt to the side, pressed his lips to her shoulder.

Buffy grinned and reached over to rub the front of his pants. “Is that so?” She felt him shudder against her at the contact and curled her palm to cup him through the denim. Her eyes widened as she got her first real clue concerning the size of his erection. She swallowed quickly and boldly continued her caresses.

William kept his head pressed to her neck. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands fisted the sheets beside her head as he struggled to maintain control over the torrent of emotions and desires of which he was now the center.

He could take her, he knew at that moment that she wouldn’t turn him away. He couldn’t suppress a shiver as he thought about reaching down, tugging her panties off, and hiking up her skirt. It would take only seconds. In seconds, he could free himself and dive into her. And he wanted to. He wanted to pound her against the mattress until they both blacked out. He wanted to let go of all the walls he’d built to protect them both and show her just how truly, desperately, he wanted her.

But he loved her. More than he wanted her, he loved her. So he kissed her instead, sharing only a hint of his true desires and still drawing out a gasp in response.

Buffy smiled. “Guess you like that, huh?”

He nodded and brought his stormy blue eyes up to watch her face. “Can I… would you be all right if I took off… I mean, it’s a bit… and, umm… the zipper is none too…”

Her eyes widened as she realized what his stammering was meant to ask, but she reached eagerly for his belt and started pulling the leather through the buckle. She quickly undid the belt and slid her fingers under the edge of his jeans to tug the shiny silver button back out of its hole.
When her fingers came to his zipper, he pulled back. “Let me… ’kay.”

Pouting slightly, she watched as he rose from the bed and carefully unzipped his jeans. He quickly pushed the fabric down his thighs and stepped out of them, so that he stood before her wearing nothing but a pair of dark grey boxer briefs.

She took a moment to pull her eyes upward to meet his. When she did, she was surprised to see anxiety and even embarrassment on William’s face. She realized suddenly that, under all of William’s new-found confidence, he was still the same nervous little boy she used to play with. The realization was surprisingly comforting; Buffy’s own confidence surged upwards in response.

She watched as he quickly hid the emotions and smirked at her. When he started back to the bed, she held up her hand. “Those don’t really look comfortable. Probably best if you just take them off.”

His mouth opened once in surprise before he chuckled deeply. He nodded. “Hmm… very considerate of you.” He pushed off the shorts and watched her gape at him for a few seconds before rejoining her on the bed. “Now I have to say, that this, hardly seems fair.”

Buffy was still blushing when she responded. “Hmm?”

“Well here I am, very… comfortable, and you’re still stuck in all those clothes.”

“Oh.” She glanced down at her rumpled top and skirt.

“Not to worry, luv. I’ll help you get more… comfortable.” He lied down snug against her side and brought two fingers to trace the neckline of her shirt.

Buffy watched the long fingers brushing against her skin and whimpered. They felt so hot; they left a trail of tingles in their wake. When his hand moved to the top button, she jumped slightly. “You don’t have to. I mean, we’re working on you right now anyway.”

William laughed softly, but didn’t raise his gaze from the button he was working on. He undid every one before pushing the fabric to the sides and gazing on the skin he’d revealed.

Leaning down, he kissed a soft spot just above her bellybutton and placed a single hand possessively on her stomach. He studied his long pale fingers against her golden skin. “God, but you’re a tiny little thing, pet.” His hand inched over to trace the indent of her waist and then followed the edge of her skirt back towards the hollow of her stomach. He toyed with the snap of her skirt for a moment before opening it.

Buffy watched him with only a touch of nervousness. Mostly, she found his actions intriguing. He was looking at her so intently; he was studying really, the planes of her stomach and the curve of her hips. With his eyes focused downward, it was hard for her to read him. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking and she supposed that that fact alone should make her feel self-conscious.

But she didn’t.

Knowing that she had his full attention, that he could be so absorbed by her, made her feel interesting and powerful. When his hands gathered the fabric on the sides of her skirt to pull it downward, she arched her hips up to help.

He pulled her skirt slowly down the length of her legs and dropped it to the floor before sliding his arm under her back. Without a word, he pulled her shirt off and tossed it aside. William then gently placed her back down and leaned away to see the whole of her. His hand slowly ran up her leg, stopping only at the edge of her panties. “So small” he murmured, awed by the emotions the tiny woman in front of him evoked.

Her tone was more curious than concerned. “Too small?”

He looked up at her suddenly, almost startled, and shook his head. “Perfect,” he said, bringing his hand up to cradle her cheek against his palm. “You, luv, you’re perfect.”

A part of her thought that he was just being kind, that he
knew she was nervous and was simply trying to ease her mind, but when she met his eyes, she saw nothing but sincerity in his gaze. She didn’t know what to think then. Again, she knew that she probably should think about it, that it was probably important, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so at the time. She rose up and kissed him. Hard.

When her arms came up to slide around his neck, William fitted her body tightly against his. He groaned. “Oh, kitten.”

“Why?”

“Hmm?” He dropped a row of kisses along her shoulder.

“Why do you call me, kitten?”

He laughed. “’Cause you’re just like one, pet, all cute and small… you make a bloke want to cuddle you, protect you… but I know the truth.”

She frowned. “What truth?”

“It’s a cover. You’re ferocious, a fighter, and no guy that plays with you is going to leave unscathed.” He winked, “Got a few scars myself.”

She scoffed. “It’s hardly my fault that you were a klutz.”

He laughed softly. “Fair enough.” He looked at her pouting expression and grinning, kissed the tip of her nose. “Don’t pout, kitten. I just told you, I like your claws.”

“Except when they scratch you.”

“Especially when they scratch me.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, but she didn’t have a chance to respond. William was done talking; he pressed her hard against the bed, his hand sliding up quickly to cup her breast through the satin cup of her bra. She gasped as he gave it a firm squeeze and moaned when his thumb rubbed intently across her nipple. “Will!” She felt a fresh wave of arousal slam into her and she knew that her panties were flooded with the evidence. She tried to press her legs together, but his knee slid firmly between them.

William reached around her back and unclasped her bra. Before she could even react, he was tugging it down her arms and kissing her newly bared breasts. He glanced up after a moment to gage her reaction and reassure her. “I just want to please you, luv.”

Biting her lip, she nodded once. “Yes. Please.”

“Such nice manners you have, pet.” He chuckled, “I was hoping to make you forget them for a bit.” He pulled her nipple into his mouth and suckled.

She whimpered and dug her hands into his hair, grasping the messy curls.

Tentatively, he brought his teeth down for a gentle nip. Her grasp on his hair tightened enough to draw pain and her body jerked off the mattress. He moved quickly to give her other breast the same treatment and then gazed up at her. She was trembling and still clutching his head tightly. Seeing the clouds of lust in her eyes, brought his own arousal to a new level of pain. “Perfect,” he echoed dazedly.

He reached down to stroke her through her panties and groaned when his fingers found the hot, wet evidence of his affect on her. He reached up to drag her hand roughly down and pressed it against his erection. “Are you certain, luv? Are you sure you want this? Me? If we… we can’t undo it if…” He grabbed her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. “Buffy?”

He watched her face for a moment, looking for some sign that she knew the truth, but her thoughts were focused elsewhere.

Buffy eagerly explored her way up to the tip of his shaft. She marveled at the softness of the tautly stretched skin and used her finger to spread a drop of creamy liquid. When she realized that he was waiting for an answer, she couldn’t immediately remember the question. She could remember that only seconds earlier his hands had been on her and more than anything else she remembered that she wanted that again. “Will,” she pleaded and wriggled beneath him.

“You need to say it, luv. I need to hear you say that you’re certain, that you’re ready, that you want me.”

Her eyes cleared slightly and she saw his almost pained expression. She was startled by the realization that he was as aroused as she was and she wondered how that could be when she had barely done anything. Smiling shyly, she nodded. “I’m sure. I’m ready.”

He frowned. “With me?”

She laughed softly and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Yes. William Oliver Pratt, I want this with you.”

It wasn’t the declaration of love and commitment that he wanted, but it was a start. William nodded and pulled away.

Buffy barely had time to squeal her disapproval before he leaned back and held up the condom. “They show you how to put these on a banana or some such?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Good.” He quickly tore open the package and slid the rubber on himself.

She looked up at him, confused. “I thought you wanted me to…”

Shaking his head, he gave a wry laugh. “You touch me right now and I might not make it to the big show.” His head dipped down to kiss her swollen lips. “God, you taste sweet pet.”

He settled himself between her knees and reached down to tease her already aching folds. He slid a single finger into her channel and gasped. “So bloody tight. You’re gonna feel so good wrapped around my cock. I’m gonna make you feel it too, luv. You’re gonna…”

“Will!” She thrust her hips upward it a plaintive motion. “Now!”

Positioning himself quickly, Will entered her in a single thrust.

He nearly came immediately.

She did.

Sunnydale California 1992

“Now remember what we talked about,” Joyce started as she leaned into the car and undid the buckle across the car-seat.

Buffy’s lips made a pout, but she nodded dutifully. “I’m going to my class. No Will-um.”

“But you can visit after nap time and… if you’re a good listener for Miss Kate, we’ll go visit William at his house tomorrow.”

“Okay, Mommy. I’ll be good listening.”

Joyce smiled and dropped a quick kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “I know you will, sweetheart. You’re my little monkey angel, aren’t you?”

Nodding enthusiastically, Buffy looked up at her mother quizzically. “But why can’t I go with Will-um?”
With a heavy sigh, she explained for the twelfth time that Buffy had her own class and that she needed to be there. When she dropped her off in the other class without any tears, she considered herself successful and headed to her own class.

Joyce walked into her class and smiled a hello to her assistant teacher. She didn’t make it to the closet to hang her jacket before William stepped into her path.

He looked at her with concern. “Is Buffy sick?”

“No, Sweetie. She’s just at her class today.”

William processed this with his eyes on the floor. Good manners forced him to look back up at her shyly before asking, “She didn’t want to work with me today?”

“Oh, no!” Joyce dropped down to kneel beside the pale boy. “No, William. Buffy just had to be with her class today. She likes working with you very much. She can come for a visit later, okay?”

“She’s still my friend?”

“Yes.”

William nodded once happily before frowning. “Can she be in my class?”

Joyce sighed and shook her head. She was starting to reconsider her position on not having her daughter in her class. It had always seemed like a good idea before, but this morning she felt like an ogre. She watched the little boy nod a final time before heading off to collect his favorite notebook. He soon settled down on a rug by the fish tank and began writing.

It was nearly an hour later before he spoke to her again. “Miss Joyce?” He looked up at her as she straightened up the toys on a nearby shelf.

“Yes, William.”

“How do you spell ‘awful’?”

She looked down at his notebook and gasped. He was listing words, which wasn’t unusual for him. But today’s theme was disheartening. Along with her daughter’s name (which appeared at least three times) He’d written:

Sad
Mad
Bad
Rotten
Dredfull
No Fair

She carefully spelled the word and made sure to collect her daughter promptly after nap time.

Oxford, England 2008

Stretching the surprisingly sore muscles in her arms, Buffy grinned at the clock. It was time to get ready to go meet Will. She giggled at the odd feeling in her stomach that came when she though about seeing him again. She supposed that it was normal enough given what they had done the evening before. Thinking about that made her smile even bigger. She’d been cautioned so many times by her friends that the first time would be a let-down, but it really hadn’t been.

Four times, she thought with a little blush, I came four times. She’d come to the conclusion that Will was really good in bed. And cute, she thought remembering how concerned he’d been about hurting her. Afterwards he’d called out for sandwiches, which he’d then insisted they eat in bed. “All part of the experience,” he’d said. She’d been a little surprised when she realized that he intended to spend the night with her. Deciding that it was sweet, she’d simply curled against his chest and slept soundly.

He’d looked so nervous this morning, she remembered, asking her quietly if she was regretting it. She’d laughed before shaking her head and then he’d given her a big smile.

The best part though, she decided as she headed to the bedroom to change, was when he’d assured her that she still had plenty of lessons left. He’d whispered it hotly in her ear and she’d nearly come again.

She chose a white sundress with spaghetti straps that tied on each shoulder and applied a touch more make-up than she normally did. Looking in the mirror, she decided that her hair was curling rather prettily so she left in down. She considered wearing her high-heeled sandals but decided that William would undoubtedly give her a hard time if she wore them so soon after twisting her ankle and slid on a simple pair of flip flops instead.

When she arrived at his office a short time later, the door was closed. She could see through the small window on the door that there was someone in there with him so she sat on a bench in the hall to wait. Liam found her there a few minutes later. “Hello Lass. I see you’re up and about despite your grave injury not two nights past.”

She giggled. “Yeah, I actually did survive twisting my ankle. I may have super-human healing abilities.”

“All evidence seems to support just that.” He grinned at her and wondered if she had realized yet why William had made such a fuss. Not, he thought, that I can blame him. The girl is more than pretty enough to make a man start thinking crazy domestic thoughts. “You’re waiting on our boy, I suppose.”

She nodded. “Yep. Someone’s in there… I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Liam took a peek through the window. “Ah yes, the fan club.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Will’s in a fan club?”

“No. That’s William’s fan club. Dawn’s her name. The girl comes up with a thin excuse to eat up his office hours at least twice a week.”

Buffy stood up abruptly and peered, frowning, through the window. It was no use; the glass was too textured for her to make out the girl’s features. She could see that the girl was standing quite close to Will. She turned back to Liam. “Does… does he like her?” She tried for nonchalance and wondered why the idea irritated her so much.

Biting his tongue to stop himself from laughing out loud, Liam shrugged. “She’s a pretty little thing, all big eyes and long legs. Most guys would appreciate the attention.”

She scowled. “Right.”

He was sorely tempted to tease her for a bit longer, the pout on her lips was quite appealing, but his unique sense of honor held him back. “Not William though,” he continued as though he had never stopped. “He’d probably be more than a little glad for an interruption.” He winked at her conspiratorially. “Let’s go save him, shall we?”

Buffy bit her lip and gave the door a considering look. She looked back at Liam with an impish grin. “You’re sure that he would want saving?”

He didn’t answer. He just pushed the door open and dragged her through it, yelling out, “William, my lover, look who I found sittin’ all by her lonesome and lookin’ far too lovely.”

William looked up in surprise and was immediately torn between scowling at Liam for the lover remark and beaming at Buffy. He chose the latter. She’s a bloody angel, he thought, she glows. He couldn’t quite hold back a little smirk of male pride at the thought that he might just be the reason for that special glow today. “Buffy… you look… that’s a very pretty dress, pet.”

She blushed slightly under the intensity of his gaze. “Thanks, Will. I just felt like being a bit girly today.”

Liam noted the increased possessiveness in his friend’s eyes and gave him a curious glance. When William looked away suddenly, he grinned. Well now, he thought, isn’t this interesting. “Well lass,” he turned back to Buffy. “If I might speak on behalf of the local male population, feel free to be as girly as ya like, as often as the urge strikes.” He chuckled softly when William glared at him. Oh yes, he thought, there is definitely something interesting happening.

Dawn watched the entire exchange with a small pout on her face. She took a step closer to William before turning to speak to Liam and Buffy. “We were just having a fascinating discussion about Soren Kierkegaard’s Diary of a Seducer. Don’t you find the imagery particularly erotic?” She smiled widely at Buffy’s startled and uncomfortable expression.

William’s eyes widened. “Buffy doesn’t… that is…”

Liam laughed loudly. He waited until everyone turned to look at him. “I’m sorry. It’s just the very idea of this brilliant girl here wasting her time focusing on the obvious titillation of Kierkegaard’s presentation when there are far more interesting questions concerning the morality of the hedonistic lifestyle he presents to be discussed.”

Buffy had no idea what he was talking about, but she knew a save when she saw one. She smiled at him gratefully. “It’s true… lots of questions.”

William saw the smile and felt sick. Liam had to help her because I’m such a ponce, he thought furiously. He turned quickly to Dawn, who was still gaping in insulted outrage at Liam, and spoke formally. “Miss Key, my office hours for today are quite done. If you have any more questions, perhaps you can make an appointment for next week. Although I must tell you, you could undoubtedly find persons with more expertise on that particular topic than I have.” He nodded once, dismissively, and turned back to Buffy. “I’m almost done here, luv. After that, we can do whatever you’re up for. Dinner maybe? Are you hungry?”

She grinned. “Starved.”

“I figured.” He smiled back.

Liam glanced back and forth between the two and rolled his eyes at what he suspected they thought was subtle. “The pub it is then.” Both blondes turned to look at him, one smiling broadly and glaring slightly. He laughed and dropped his arm over Buffy’s shoulder.

Two hours later William was experiencing an unfortunate sense of déjà vu. Once again he sat with Liam, watching Buffy dance. It had all started brilliantly. They’d run into Andrew and Jonathon right away. He’d been genuinely happy to watch her head off to dance with the pair; he’d laughed heartily at their antics. But the boys had headed over to the bar for new drinks a short while ago and Buffy was still dancing. He was rather certain that the man she was dancing with at that moment was no more a homosexual than he was.

This time he intended to do something about it.

Standing up abruptly and without a word, though Liam was mid- story, he made a beeline towards the dance floor. Stepping behind Buffy, he wrapped his arms around her waist and splayed his fingers possessively across her stomach. He spared only a brief second to glare at her quickly receding former dance partner and tugged her snug against him before moving in time with the music.

She hadn’t seen him coming, but she knew who was touching her immediately. She giggled softly in surprise, but made no complaint as he sent away the rather dull boy she’d been dancing with.

William nuzzled close to her ear and spoke in a low tone. “I think it’s time for another lesson, pet.”

She gasped slightly at both the words and the sensations they brought. She looked around anxiously, before responding almost breathlessly. “What? Here? Now?”

He laughed deeply, his breath tickling her neck. “Mmm… hmm. Lesson the second… anticipation. You know what’s coming. You know I’m going to taste you tonight, kitten… gonna make you feel so good. Are you thinking about it now? Are you imagining all the wicked things I’ll be doing to this delectable little body of yours?”

A whimper was her only response. She was almost floored by the shocking images his words brought to mind. She leaned against him for support.

“I want you thinking about it, Buffy. While we sit and chat and drink with my friends, you’re going to know that, whatever I may talking about, what I’m thinking about is you. Do you know how many ways I could take you tonight? How many times I could have you screaming my name before I finally give you what you really want?”

She spun around, and grasping his shirt for support, stared at him incredulously. “Will, please…”

He smirked. “Please what, kitten?”

She fought back the urge to groan and gave him what she hoped was a flirtatious smile. “We could head out now.”

Thrilled by her response, William merely shook his head. “That’s not how it works, pet .”

Forty minutes later, Buffy was ready to scream. She shifted in her seat for the twelfth time and tried to focus on her conversation with Jonathon. Her eyes unwittingly followed her mind over towards William. How, she wondered, can he just sit there all calmly? He’s evil. She was wondering how William’s clearly evil nature had escaped her notice for so long when she realized that Jonathon had just said her name.

“Hmm?”

“Surely, you agree.”

“I…umm…” She looked up to see if William had noticed that she’d just been caught. He continued to talk with Liam, but she didn’t miss the twitching of his lips jerking upwards into a slight smirk. She glared at him briefly before turning back to Jonathon. “I’m sorry. I think I sort of zoned there for a minute. What were you saying?” She bit her lip and gave him an apologetic grimace.

Andrew cut in. “Ahh…please no. Don’t get him started again. I can’t take anymore politics tonight.” He stood up. “Dancing calls.” He thrust his hand into the air, finger pointing and jerked his hip to the side

Jonathon shook his head in mock disapproval. “Being pretty doesn’t mean you can’t also…” He trailed off, deciding that any further discussion was pointless. His expression was one of frustration, but a small smile gave away his amusement. He stood up as well before turning back to Buffy. “Care to join us?”

Buffy shook her head. “Nah, I’m all about this chair right now. We’re bonding really.” She watched the two young men head over to the dance floor before looking back up. William was watching her with a grin. When she met his eye, he winked. She glared again.

“No more dancing? Are you getting tired, love? Ready to head home?”

Her temper briefly over-rode both her common sense and her libido. “Not at all. I’m having a great time. It’d be a shame to end the night so early.” She immediately began berating herself. Idiot, like you have pride at this point, like he’s the one that’s sitting here all squirmy.

Liam had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing. Whatever these two are up to, he thought, it’s a far bit more complicated than it ought to be. He shook his head slightly and raised his hand up to wave to a waitress. “Splendid. Another round it is.” His smile widened as a pretty dark-haired woman approached their table. “Miss Lehane, you’re surely a fine picture this evening.”

“Order?”

Buffy watched with widened eyes as the woman briskly brushed off Liam’s charm.

“Lass…”

“No.”

Liam laughed. “I haven’t even asked ye a question.”

“And yet we both already know the answer. How clever are we?”

William laughed out loud and turned towards Buffy. “May I introduce the incomparable Faith Lehane, the only chit in town who seems to be immune to Liam’s sweet talk.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. Something made her think that Faith was trying too hard to prove that she didn’t find Liam appealing. She couldn’t put her finger on it exactly though; she chalked it up to female intuition.

Faith turned to Buffy. “Which says a lot more about the other girls in this town than it does about me.” She gave Buffy a considering look. “I haven’t seen you around. Freshman?”

Buffy smiled and shook her head. “Just visiting.”

Liam put his arm over William’s shoulder. “Buffy is our boy Willie here’s oldest and dearest friend. They used to toddle around in nappies and take baths together.”

Both blondes quickly blushed and stuttered denials.

Faith chuckled. “Nice to meet ya, Muffy. Willie’s a good guy, always brings a touch of class to this dump.”

“It’s Buffy, with a ‘B’”.

“B it is then. Anyway, I got a lot of tables so…”

William nodded. “We should stop stealing you all for ourselves. I’ll have another Guinness, please.”

Liam nodded that he’d have the same and they all turned to Buffy.

“I like sex on the sand.”

Faith gave her a nod. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, B. Did you want another drink?”

William laughed at both Buffy’s confused look and Faith’s droll amusement. “She means Sex on the Beach. She’s hooked on those girly drinks with the little umbrellas and such.”

“I am a girl. What’s wrong with liking girly stuff?”

Taking in the stubborn jutting of her chin and the slight pout on her lips, William was reminded for the twentieth time that evening exactly why no other girl could ever steal her place in his heart. He shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with it, pet.”

Faith watched Buffy smile and blush before shooting Liam a quizzical glance. He gave her a single nod and she smiled. “All righty, I’ll be right back with those.”

Despite her words, Buffy gladly left the pub with William only thirty minutes later. They were both struck with an unusual awkwardness the moment their feet hit the sidewalk.
William caught himself watching his shoes and shook his head. I’m not that kid anymore, he reminded himself before turning to smirk at Buffy. “Are you having a good time, pet?”

“Yeah. I mean everyone here has been really great and it’s all so pretty…”

He kept his head down while he nodded. “Good…good.”

“And…I mean…mostly it’s just good to see you.”

She watched the corners of his lips slide upwards before he turned to her and grabbed her shoulders.

“I like seeing you too.” Pulling her closer, he quickly brought his mouth down to hers for hard kiss.

She gasped softly and clutched at his arms. “Will!” She quickly glanced around to see if they were alone.

He frowned quickly before smoothing his face into an emotionless mask. He caught her chin between his fingers and lifted her face to his gaze. When he spoke he was careful to keep his tone and voice neutral. “Are you embarrassed to be seen kissing me?”

Her eyes widened dramatically. “What? No! That’s not…” She shook her head. “That’s not it, Will. I mean I’m not exactly planning to tell people that I’m getting tutored on…you know, but…” She shrugged. “Will, why would you…”

He didn’t let her finish. He pressed her against a nearby building and reclaimed her mouth, kissing her until she was breathless and trembling. He broke away suddenly and gave her a little boy grin. “Come on.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her across the street.

“Will! What are…” She looked around curiously when he stopped just inside the fence of a small park. “What are we doing here?”

He tucked his tongue behind his teeth and smirked sexily. “It’s called a playground, luv. We’re gonna play.”

Given his tone and the unmentionably hot thing he was doing with his tongue, Buffy suspected that he wasn’t planning a swing-jumping competition. What exactly he did have in mind was still something of a mystery for her though.

The Will that she knew was not the man standing in front of her at that moment. The Will that she knew was shy and nervous, he had impeccable manners and actually drove below the speed limit; he would never suggest…whatever he was suggesting they do at the park. She swallowed hard and simply watched him, wide-eyed.

William wondered if he was a bad man. He was sure that her obvious nervousness shouldn’t be exciting him as much as it was. He wanted to think that he was just pleased with the unique juxtaposition of roles. She was always the confident one. Surely, he thought, it’s natural to be pleased that I finally get to lead. But he couldn’t quite deny the predatory nature of his stimulation. He wanted to capture her, claim her, and conquer her. He chuckled at her expression and stepped closer so that she had to bend her head back to see him. “Hope the cat didn’t get that smart little tongue of yours.”

She grinned saucily. “Oh, so we’re here for a chat then?”

There’s my girl. “If you think that, then we have more work ahead of us than I realized.” He leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I’ve got plenty of plans for your tongue, luv; talking though…it’s not very high on the list.” Without warning, he tugged her across the grass and hoisted her on to a waist high platform on the wooden play structure. He quickly situated himself between her knees and brought his hands to rest on her shoulders.

“Will, what if…” She looked around anxiously.

“It’s nearly one in the morning. The kiddies are all tucked snug in their beds…no one here but us.” He brushed her hair back, baring her neck and leaned in to drop kisses along the smooth skin. Pulling back slightly he watched intently as he ran his thumb down her neck and over her shoulder. He snagged the ribbon strap holding up her dress and pushed it aside. “Have I mentioned that this is a very pretty dress, kitten?” He asked huskily before kissing her newly bared shoulder.

She flushed, bringing her hands up to rest on his forearms. “It’s not really…”

“It’s perfect.” He dipped his head to the side and gazed at her from under his thick eyelashes. “You look…especially beautiful tonight.”

Buffy laughed softly beneath her breath. “Is this a lesson on sweet-talking girls? ‘Cause I don’t think I’ll be needing that one. Or,” she started with a grin. “Does it work both ways? Should I tell you how much I like the new hair or that this shirt brings out the blue in your eyes?”

He laughed hoarsely before answering. “Only if you mean it.” Leaning close, he kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear before continuing. “Never give a false compliment, Buffy.” His tongue came out to trail along the outside of her ear before he pulled her ear lobe between his lips for a quick suckle.

She gasped and fought to clear her head enough to respond. His tone had been so serious. “I…I, Will, I wouldn’t…” She gave him a gentle shove so that he stopped and gave her a confused look. She blushed. “I wasn’t, I meant it…about your hair and…and…”

William hid his genuine pleasure behind a smirk. “My shirt?”

“Your eyes. You have the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. Sometimes, when I’m looking at you, I forget what I’m thinking about.” Her own eyes widened suddenly and she gave her head a little shake. “And now I’m just babbling. I guess that last drink was my ride to tipsy-land.”

He clenched his jaw and held back his words, knowing that nothing that he’d say at that moment wouldn’t give away his feelings completely. Instead, he told her everything with a kiss. His lips moved over hers, gentle but persistent, as he slid closer and fit himself tight against her body. He marveled inwardly at the perfection of that fit. He couldn’t doubt that she was made for him.

Her arms and legs came up instantly to wrap themselves around him.

He could still feel her holding back though; her muscles were still tense from nerves and her mind was still clearly wandering. He wanted her thinking of nothing but him. William wondered if he was pushing too hard with this whole “playground lesson”, she’d only lost her virginity the evening before and now he was asking her to push aside her inhibitions and let him have her in a public park. All at once, he felt like an arse.

He rubbed her back comfortingly. “Do you want to leave, luv?”

Startled, she pulled back to stare at him. “Do you? Is someone coming?” She squinted to try and see better in the dark.

“No one’s coming. And no, I don’t want to leave.” He leaned in close to her ear again. “I want to watch you come right here, kitten. I want to watch you come with the moonlight on your face and this pretty little dress bunched up high. I want….” He felt her shiver beneath him and smiled. “I want to make you bare your claws and...” he leaned back to watch her face as he finished; “I want you crying out my name when you get there.”

Clenching his arms tightly, she shuddered again. “Will!”

“That’s right.” His hands slid down her back to cup her butt and pull her closer. He groaned softly at the increased pressure against his already full erection.

Buffy rubbed against him, instinctually raising the intensity for them both. She brought her hands up to tangle themselves in the short curls at the top of his neck.
Trailing his fingers up her back, William brought a hand up to press against hers. His eyes were dark with passion, but his voice was controlled. “I like this.” He patted her fingers in his hair. “You can be rougher, pull some, I like that too.”

She used her hands to pull him down for a hard kiss, thrusting her tongue between his lips and gasping when he sucked on it. She wondered fleetingly if it was odd to be so turned on by his teacher-mode. Surely, she thought, it should be easier when she could pretend that this was all something different than what it was. Certainly he didn’t act like it was all a chore and she wasn’t so naive as to think that he wasn’t enjoying himself as well, but she wasn’t forgetting that this all was still just Will doing what he did best, teaching. Only she didn’t remember finding his directions or his teacher voice so hot when he helped her with algebra.

He almost groaned when he saw her mind start to wander again. He decided it was time to get her attention. Roughly, he ran his hands down the length of her back and along her thighs. She gasped when he pushed her skirt up to bunch around her waist and suddenly dropped to his knees.
“Will!”

His hands slid her knees outwards and he pressed a kiss against the inside of one golden thigh. He rubbed his cheek there and she whimpered.

“Will?”

“Mmm hmm.” He pulled her closer to the edge of the platform so that she had to put her hands behind her and lean back to maintain her balance.

“Are you gonna…”

“Mmm hmm.” He kissed the soft skin of her other thigh.

“Oh.”

Carefully, he tugged her panties down. Leaning back so that she could press her legs closer together, he gently pulled them along her legs and over her feet.

Buffy watched as her panties quickly disappeared into his back pocket. She swallowed hard when he moved to push her knees back apart and settled himself between them.

“Will?”

He kissed her thigh again before answering. “Yes, luv.” He didn’t look up.

“I’m…umm…I’m…oh!” she gasped as his kisses came closer to her center.

“You’re what, luv? Gorgeous? Yes. Sweet? Yes. The sexiest thing I’ve ever seen? Yeah, that too.” He punctuated each yes with another kiss.

“You’re just saying…”

His head swung up and she was cut off by the intense look in his eyes. He spoke in a low, hoarse voice. “If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it.” His eyes, dark with passion, stayed on her for another moment.

She nodded once, mesmerized, and he continued kissing his path upwards.

His fingers brushed through the soft curls that hid her folds from his view.

She gave a strangled gasp and bit her lip.

“You’re so wet for me, kitten. Can’t wait to get a taste of you. So bloody hot.” His hands clamped firmly on her thighs and he leaned in to place a tentative kiss on her curls. He groaned at her immediate jump and worked the tip of his tongue up her slit.

Shaking with a unique blend of nerves and lust, Buffy fell back, opening herself even more to his ministrations.
He gave her several licks before bringing his tongue to a point and thrusting it inside her hot channel. He repeated the motion until she was writhing in front of him. “You like that don’t you? Tell me, do you like my tongue loving you as much as liked my cock last night?”

Frustrated, she wriggled. “Please, just…please.”

He chuckled, his breath hot and wet against her thigh. “Ah, the magic word…but not what I’m looking for. I told you what I want to hear.” He leaned in and tapped her clit with his tongue. “Tell me, kitten, whose mouth is making you feel so good?”

His earlier words came back to her and she realized what he was waiting for. He wanted her to say his name. The frustration made her prickly. Egomaniacal bastard, she thought huffily, probably wants me to beg too. The fact that she’d be willing to only frustrated her more. Balancing her weight on one hand she used the other to tightly grip the back of his head. She pulled back so that he’d look up at her. She glared. “William.”

“Yes, luv?”

She fought off the urge to scream. “Fuck me.” There, she thought, two can play the dirty talk game. She watched his reaction with satisfaction.

His eyes widened momentarily. He smirked. “What, here?” He made a show of looking around. “What if someone comes?”

“If someone isn’t coming soon, I might just have to head back to the bar and find myself a new tutor.”

She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth, but it was too late. She wasn’t even sure what she’d hoped to accomplish, but she knew immediately what she had. She felt like a tramp and she knew that she’d hurt William.

He stood up abruptly but kept his eyes focused on the ground.

As she struggled to regain her balance, she watched his careful deep breaths and knew he was trying to reel in his temper. “Will, I didn’t…I’m…”

He looked up slowly and, ignoring her ramblings, spoke quietly. “I’m going forget that you said that. Once. Because you didn’t mean it…”

“I didn’t, Will. I wo…”

He held up his hand to silence her. “Just know this. If you decide that you need another…partner, you will tell me. First.” His gaze remained steadily on her.

Buffy nodded and looked down. She anxiously pushed her skirt down and sighed. “Way to ruin the mood, Buffy.” She muttered in self-deprecation.

Chuckling softly, he broke his gaze and reached over to help her fix her dress. “Just as well, I don’t have any rubbers with me.”

“I umm…you don’t need them.”

Eyebrow arched, he gave her a curious look.

“I’ve been on the pill for ages.” She shrugged, “I just didn’t get a chance to tell you last night.”

“Oh that’s…that’s good then.”

“Will?” She reached up and cupped his cheek. “I am sorry.”

“I know, pet. Don’t let it worry you.” He bent down and kissed her forehead. “Let’s get home, yeah?”

She nodded and hopped down, quickly finding her flip flops where they had fallen off and sliding them back on.

They walked the few blocks back to William’s flat in unusual silence.

Upon arrival, he unlocked the door and gestured for Buffy to enter. She did, coming to a stop just inside where she stood watching him close and lock the door behind them.

Awkwardly, she reached for his hand. “Please come to bed with me. I’m not…you don’t have to…you don’t have to touch me, just…please stay with me.”

He swore softly under his breath. “There’s no way that I’m getting into that bed tonight and not touching you, so if you don’t want…”

She launched herself into his arms. “I want. I want.” She kissed him hard.

“Good.” He lifted her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist and started towards his bedroom. “Good.”

Sunnydale, California 2002

“Buffy, are you even paying attention?”

“Uh huh.” She continued to twirl one of her pigtails and stare out the window.

“Buffy.”

Sighing heavily, she threw her head back dramatically. “Will,” she drew out his name into two somewhat whiny syllables. “It’s too hot to do math.”

“I think it would have to be a whole lot hotter for your teacher to cancel your math test.” He grinned.

Buffy gave him a calculating look. “Like how much hotter?”

He laughed easily. “A lot hotter than it is going to get over the next few days. Besides, you have air conditioning. It’s not at all too hot in here.”

Her arms flopped on to the table, quickly followed by her entire upper body. “Exactly. We should be outside…swimming. Don’t you want to go in the pool?”

“We should really…” He stopped, knowing that it was a lost cause. “Fine, but you’re going to have to study on your own tomorrow.”

Buffy rewarded him with a beaming smile and bounced out of her chair. “I totally will. I’m gonna get my suit on.” She quickly headed toward the stairs, yelling over her shoulder. “Hurry up and change!”

William diligently organized the materials he’d been using to help Buffy study, packing his own stuff and neatly stacking hers. He quickly wrote down the topics and pages that she should focus on the next day and left the note clipped to the top of her Hello Kitty folder.

He worried that they hadn’t gotten enough accomplished. It wasn’t, he thought, that Buffy wasn’t smart. He knew that she was, but he also knew that she had a difficult time sitting still. It was a challenge that seemed to be affecting her grades of late. William considered it his duty to help her get them back up. Also, he acknowledged, if she didn’t she would be grounded and then he’d never get to see her.

When he finished, he grabbed his other backpack and headed towards the guest room to change. He folded the clothes that he was wearing as he took them off and soon stood before the full length mirror near the door wearing only his swimming trunks and a pair of sandals. He scowled. His head, he decided, was clearly too large for his body. In fact, his recent growth spurt had left him feeling that nearly every bone in his body was too large for the skin covering it and thus appeared ready to poke through at any moment. He had studied the appearances of boys at school that girls considered attractive and he knew that he had none of their attributes. He shook his head at the futility of his situation.

After a moment, he headed outside to find Buffy by the pool.
“I got you green.” She held a Popsicle in each hand. Angling the still paper-covered one towards him, she wiggled it playfully.

He took it with a smile. Green was his favorite. “Thank you.”

Smiling, Buffy took another lick of her own cherry red Popsicle. It was already melting, the juice dripping onto her fingers. She giggled and switched hands, bringing each finger to her mouth for a quick suck.

William tried to open the paper covering his Popsicle, but he couldn’t stop watching her mouth, the juice darkened lips and small pink tongue licking and suckling alternately on her fingers and the sticky, sweet treat. The unfortunate, but inevitable, response came quickly.

Mumbling an excuse, he hurried back to the guest room, slamming the door shut behind him and leaning against it. He fought the urge to cry and denied the urge to do anything else. He didn’t want to be a pervert. He was certain that he was. He slumped against the door, sliding down to sit on the floor with his head bent down and resting against his knees.

Buffy followed William into the house and watched with widened eyes as he darted in to the guest room and closed the door. She waited for a few seconds, expecting him to come right back out. He didn’t. She shrugged, walked over and turned the door knob.

“Don’t!” He pressed his weight against the door and squeezed his eyes shut against his impending doom.
“Will? What’s going on? Lemme come in.”

“No…umm…not now. Ok? I have to…umm…”

“What are you doing?” She frowned and shook her head. William was acting too weird lately. He’d always been a bit odd, though she’d known him for a long time before she’d realized it. It wasn’t until her other friends had met him, that she’d even thought about it. The truth was that she was used to his normal sort of unusual behavior. It, and he, didn’t seem odd to her. He was Will. He was her best friend. This though, she thought with frustration, is just too weird. “Will?”

“Buffy?” Joyce stood in the hall looking at her daughter with a confused expression. “Honey, what’s going on? I thought you two were going to go swimming.”

“That’s what I thought too. But Will is like hiding or something. Maybe he’s sick again.” She turned back towards the door. “Will?, she called out, knocking several times on the door. “Are you puking?”

Joyce reached over and cupped her daughter’s hand, pulling it away from the door. “William? Dear, are you feeling all right?”

“I’m…I’m fine. I just remembered something though. I need to go home. Could you please call my mum? She’ll come pick me up.”

“Don’t be silly, William. I’ll drive you home. Buffy can go change and we’ll…”

“No! That’s…I mean…my mum said to call her, so…” He rolled his eyes at the words he was about to say. “It would be disrespectful. Thank…thank you for offering.”

“Uh huh.” Joyce shook her head and sighed. “I’ll go give her a call.” She knew it was an excuse and a lame one at that, but she suspected that he had his reasons. She gave her daughter a quick speculative glance. She was still a kid. She stood there in a swimsuit dotted with red Popsicle stains without a drop of self-consciousness. Joyce gave the guest room door a final questioning glance and walked away.

Oxford, England 2008

“You’re really not going to let me drive?”

William laughed heartily. “Sorry pet. I value both of our lives too much for that.”

She pouted. “But I really want to try driving on the other side of the street.”

“From what I’ve heard, you’ve already given that a shot back in the states.”

Buffy glared. “You talk to my mother way too much. It’s freaky and…and lame. You are supposed to be my best friend.” She pouted again.

William watched her with a grin and shook his head. “I’ll let you help navigate.” He offered her the pages he’d printed from Google map.

She took them quickly. “Fine. But I plan to add detours if I see any signs for good shopping.”

Chuckling, he rolled his eyes. “There are plenty of shops in London. Let’s just try to get there, yeah?” He opened her door and walked around to get in the driver’s seat.

Joining him in the care, she gave him a quizzical look. “Really? You’ll take me shopping?”

Smirking, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh I’ll take you all right.”

Buffy waited until he was finished to roll her eyes and swat at his shoulder. “When did you become this guy?”

He stilled. Keeping his gaze at the front window, he tried for a casual tone. “How do you mean?”

Shrugging, she considered her words. “You’re…different.”

“I’m older.”

She laughed. “It’s more than that. You’re…” She shrugged again. “I guess you’re just happy here.”

He glanced at her, but couldn’t read her expression.
Sighing, he wondered how he should answer her. “I am…content, here. It’s comfortable, but…”

Buffy turned to him suddenly. “Are you ever coming home?”

“I…”

“I mean, it just seems like you are happier here than you were in California.”

“Buffy, that’s not…I miss home. You. My Mum. It’s just simple here. For me, it’s simple. Uni is a small world, so I know my…role, I guess. I see the same people, I know what is expected of me and what to expect of them.” He shrugged and exhaled loudly.

She smiled. “You never did like surprises.”

He frowned. “It’s not that exactly. Certainly you are always surprising me and I love you. It’s more that I…” He sighed.

When he didn’t say anything for a few moments, she quietly urged him to continue. “Will?”

“I like to know what people want from me. I worry that I’ll disappoint them or embarrass myself and…I think that most people are born knowing how to deal with people, how to read them and how to make friends. I wasn’t, Buffy. I…”

“You were shy.”

He laughed. “Thanks, pet. But it’s more than shy. I…I…” He sighed heavily. This was not a discussion that he wanted to have. He wanted to charm her. He wanted her to see him in a new light. He didn’t want to remind her that he was still that weird kid with no friends his own age and need to straighten everything to perfect right angles. He didn’t want to tell her that he took a pill everyday just to help with the anxiety that came from having to talk in front of a class of undergrads. “I had to see a therapist. After Dru, I was a mess. I always had tendencies, yeah, but I was a mess then. It helped. I’m better now.” He quickly peeked at her out of the corner of his eyes. She looked angry.

“Well of course you did, she was awful.” She shook her head sadly. “I wish you’d have told me, Will. I wish I could have helped. I…”

“You did.” He said quickly. “You didn’t know it maybe, but you always helped.”

She smiled prettily. “You were never really shy with me.”

He nodded. “No. You’ve always been special.”

She reached over, squeezed his hand and mercifully changed the subject.

They passed the next hour of the drive, chatting easily about music and Buffy’s friends back home. More precisely, Buffy chatted and William focused on lowering his heart rate and convincing himself that she hadn’t seemed too disturbed by their talk.

Always antsy during long drives, Buffy frequently shifted position. When she pulled her legs up to sit “Indian Style” her short denim skirt slid high up her thighs and William almost groaned.

He grinned instead. “What color?”

She furrowed her brow. “What?”

Smirking, he cast his eyes suggestively at her lap. “Your panties, luv. What color?”

“Will!”

Chuckling, he pressed forward. “Come on then, a skirt that short is designed to make a man wonder about the scanties he can almost see.” He smirked at her playfully.

Blushing slightly, she nodded towards the street. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on driving?”

“I’m really quite brilliant. Multitasking presents me with little challenge.”

“I see.” She nodded with exaggerated solemnity.

He tucked his tongue behind his teeth and gestured again at her lap. “What color, kitten?”

She grinned and turned to meet his gaze head on. “Who says I’m wearing any panties at all, William?”

His jaw dropped. The car swerved swiftly towards the next lane causing a nearby driver to honk their horn in warning.
The noise startled William’s focus back on to the road. He quickly brought the car back in line. After a few moments, he laughed. “Nicely done, luv. ”

Joining him in giggles, she nodded. “Now who is brilliant?”

“I am?”

She poked him playfully. “You will acknowledge my brilliance, William.”

He widened his eyes at the implied threat behind her mischievously bossy tone and words. An image of Buffy dressed dominatrix style and threatening to make him see the error of his ways came crashing into the forefront of his thoughts. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and began counting the minutes until they’d arrive at his Uncle’s flat.

London, England 2008

William pulled smoothly into a parking spot in front of his Uncle’s building, gave Buffy a quick grin and got out of the car.

Hopping out, she followed him to the back of the car and reached into the trunk to collect her bag.

He brushed her arm aside, easily lifting a bag in each hand. “I got it, pet.”

Shrugging, she followed him into the lobby. “I know it’s a gentleman thing, Will, but I feel silly letting you carry two bags when I’ve got nothing in my hands.”

He laughed softly as he nodded a hello towards the building’s security guard. “Better you feel silly than my Mum hear that she failed to raise a gentleman.” He gestured towards the elevator.

She scoffed as she followed him through the doors. “Says the guy that tried to get me to flash him on the way here.”
His mouth opened and closed once in surprise. “I most certainly did not. You were…I just…”He stammered with indignation for a few seconds before stopping abruptly and smirking. “You know we’re not driving anymore; can’t crash. No reason not to tell me.”

She rolled her eyes and swatted at his shoulder just as the bell indicated that they’d reached their floor. The elevators doors opened to reveal the penthouse and Buffy quickly forgot their kidding. Gasping softly, she brought her hand up to her mouth. “This is your uncle’s place?”

William chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. It’s something, right? Not really my taste but it’s hard to deny that’s it’s got a certain…”

“Hugeness.”

“That and…” He gestured towards a grouping of shiny leather sofas surrounding a brushed metal coffee table.

Buffy didn’t respond, she took a few steps towards the gleaming stainless steel filled kitchen. “My mom would kill for this fridge.”She turned back to William. “What does your uncle do again?”

“Uncle Simon writes, novels…the last few have been pretty popular in certain circles really.” He grinned. “I actually think he mainly set this place up like this to fit the image he thinks fans and such like for him to have. His place up north is a lot more…traditional.”

“Simon…Pratt, right? Like your Dad.” At his nod she continued. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of…”

“Oh, but he doesn’t write under that name. He uses Ethan Rayne. It has a more…” He was stopped by Buffy’s squeal of shock and delight.

“Ethan Rayne, Blood and Chaos –Ethan Rayne is your Uncle Simon? How could you have never told me?” She shook her head in shock. “Ethan Rayne is your uncle! That is so….”

William looked surprised. “You’ve read some of his work?”

“Well duh. Everyone’s read the Chaos Trilogy. It’s like…sooo good and with the new prophecy; the kiss of true love will awaken his once beating heart. Logan is gonna turn human, I’m just sure of it.”

“I, erm, I actually haven’t read them.”

She stared at him in wide-mouthed wonder.

“It’s just…a repentant vampire trying to save the world and falling for his mortal enemy- not really my taste. It’s a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?”

Her jaw dropped even lower. She shook her head. “It’s like the…the most romantic story ever.”

He shrugged.

“Will, they’re made for each other but the forces of destiny are keeping them apart. They’ve chosen duty over love. Even though it hurts them to be apart, he’s left to fight the battle far away and she stayed there. They know that they have to…”

William scoffed.

“Will!”

“Sorry pet. But if it’s really this great love, than they wouldn’t be able to ignore it. He’d hurt every moment that they were apart.” He stepped closer to her, his eyes darkened with emotion. “Thoughts of her would consume his mind each day and fill his dreams each night. If he loved her, he’d burn for her. He wouldn’t let the fact that he was a vampire keep him from her side. For as long as she wanted him; he’d be there.”

Her mouth made a little ‘o’ at his impassioned speech. “But…they can’t, I mean…you haven’t even read it so you don’t know how hard…”

“Don’t need to read it, he’s a berk. She loves him, he loves her and he’s letting something get in their way. He’s a berk. Woman I love, if she…if she wanted me, I’d do anything.” He stopped suddenly, and looked away.

Brow furrowed, Buffy watched him clench his jaw as he struggled to regain control of his emotions. It was an unusual site. “Will? Are you…is it Drusilla? Do you still…”

His head swung back. “What? No! I certainly do not.”

“So there’s a…a new girl then…a new love?”

“No, luv.” He said in an oddly neutral voice. “No, there’s no new girl for me.”

His statement seemed incomplete. Buffy waited a second, wondering if he would continue. When he didn’t, she shrugged. “So…um, finish showing me around the home of Ethan Rayne.”

He gave a quick nod. “Sure, pet. Let’s put the bags in the guest room.” He lead the way across the living room and opened the door to a large bedroom done up primarily in deep blue silks.

Buffy gasped again. “This is the guest room?”

“That it is, though I may be the only person who ever uses it. Uncle Simon doesn’t really entertain family here. The…guests he brings here don’t really…um…they don’t typically require a separate bedroom.”

Buffy grinned. “Does he bring home a lot of girls?”

William dipped his head to the side as he considered his response. “Let’s say, he brings home far fewer than he could but that he’s certainly not suffering from a lack of companionship.”

“Lots then, yeah?”

Chuckling, he nodded. “I’ve met several.”

She giggled girlishly. “I gotta admit, if I had a place like this I’d probably bring home a lot of fangirls myself.”

“Trying to tell me somethin’ there, kitten?” He gave her a smirk. “Do I need to find another bird for your next lesson?”

“What? Oh! No!” She smacked lightly at his chest. “God, you’re such a brat now!”

He moved closer, dipping his head down to bring his lips closer to her ear before responding. “You like it though…yeah?”

She shivered as she felt his breath brush the soft hairs near her ear and felt her stomach warm as she considered his words, sexy and confident to start and then so endearingly tentative. He is still my Will, she thought, under all this… he is still my Will. Momentarily finding words hard, she simply nodded.

He rubbed his cheek across hers before raising his head. “Ready to see the best part?” Not waiting for a response, he gripped her hand and tugged so that she’d follow him out of the room.

Seconds later Buffy was staring open-mouthed at a jacuzzi big enough to fit four people comfortably. She gave a little squeal of excitement before frowning just as quickly. “You never said…I didn’t even bring my swimsuit!”

It was William’s turn to go slack-jawed. Innocent, he reminded himself, she really was innocent until you... , already feeling his arousal rise, he cut his thoughts abruptly. “I can take you to the shops, get you some swimmers if you like or…I could just…promise not to look. Don’t you trust me?” He gave her wink to show that he was teasing.

She blushed crimson. She’d just been so excited to find out about the jacuzzi, she hadn’t really had a chance to process all the possibilities. He’d seen her plenty naked already. She blushed even deeper as she thought of just how closely he’d seen her unclothed state. She bit her lip and tried to save face. “I don’t know. You don’t really seem too trustworthy with that radioactive hair and all the black clothes.”

He pouted. “I thought you liked the new look.”

She wondered fleetingly if his bottom lip had always been so appealing. “I do” she said firmly. “I’m just teasing.” She reached up impulsively to ruffle his hair. “I just didn’t know that the jacuzzi was part of some surprise lesson.”

William slid his arms around her back and tugged her close. “Well I wouldn’t be much of a teacher if I didn’t give you a pop quiz now and then.”

She giggled, but her response was lost when he caught her lips for a startlingly hungry kiss. When he quickly reached for the bottom of her shirt and started tugging it upward, she pulled back in surprise.

He gave her an almost pained look but resisted the urge to simply drag her back. His voice was hoarse. “Please, kitten.”

Buffy couldn’t hear her own thoughts through the sudden pounding of her heart, not that denying him would have been amongst those thoughts. If she’d been able to she would have wondered about the sudden urgency. She would have wondered if it meant something.

Stepping back towards him, her hands rose up to hold the sides of his face as she returned his kiss with one just as eager.

Again he reached for her top. This time she held her arms up to help him pull it off. He barely glanced at her pink satin bra before unclasping it and tossing it over to join her shirt on the floor.

He pulled away then and stared at her, a starving man moments before a feast.

She trembled. “Will?”

He pulled his own shirt off before reaching for her again. “I want to feel you; all that pretty golden skin, smooth and hot against mine.” Pulling her tight against his chest, he ran his hands down the length of her back. “So soft. Smell so good, kitten.” His hands cupped her ass through the denim of her skirt for a moment before continuing their journey down to brush the backs on her thighs. His thumbs brushed just under the hem of her skirt. “Are you gonna tell me now or should I just look?”

“They’re pink. They…they matched the bra.”

William laughed gruffly. “Wasn’t askin’ about the pants, luv.” He leaned in to nip at her ear lobe. “I wanna know if you’re wet for me.”

She blushed even as another hot wave of arousal hit her. She clutched his shoulders and buried her face against his neck. “Will, please. You know I can’t…”

He brushed his thumbs slightly higher up the back of her thighs. “Can’t what, luv? Get wet for me? We both know that you can. Maybe you need me to…”

“Talk!” She blurted breathlessly. “I can’t talk all dirty like you can. Okay?”

“That’s not true. You just need a little motivation.” He slid his hands up quickly, pushing her skirt up to her hips and brought a single finger down to tease her through the satin of her panties. When he felt her fingernails digging into his arms he stilled. “You never told me what you were looking at in that book, kitten. What made you ache? What were you thinking about when I found you being so naughty in my bed?”

She groaned and thrust herself towards his hand. “I don’t want to…” No way, she thought, too embarrassing. She knew that he’d fight her, so she worked quickly to distract him by grabbing at his belt.

He moaned when her hands brushed across his erection, but he pressed forward with his inquiry. “Come on, kitten. Share.”

Pushing his jeans down his hips with a hurried motion, Buffy quickly thrust her hand into his boxers to wrap her fingers around him tightly. She jerked her hand up and down his length.

When he tossed his head back and groaned deeply, she grinned. “See, you don’t want to talk.”

He groaned again. “Mmm…you’re right we can talk later. Right now, I want to feel you riding my cock.”

Her eyes widened at the suggestion. “You want me to…umm…”

He nodded and, pushing his tongue at the back of his teeth, smirked at her. It only lasted a second before he scooped her into his arms and headed for the closest couch. He dropped onto it, still holding her tightly and kissed her hard before she had a chance to pull away. “It’ll be good, kitten…promise…gonna feel so good.”

Standing suddenly, Buffy unbuttoned her skirt and pushed it off. She smiled before quickly shedding her thong as well and then stood bare before his hot gaze. She resisted the urge to cover herself with her arms or to launch herself back at him and simply stood there until he held his arms out.

Stepping closer, she let him pull her astride his lap and help her into position. Then she pushed his hands aside and, bringing her eyes up to meet his, lowered herself onto him with one swift movement.

“Oh, God!” She gasped in surprise. “Feels so…so…oh God!”

William’s hands came to grip her hips. “Good…that’s good…kitten…good…can you…oh fuck, kitten…” He trailed off when she began slowly sliding up and down and simply gazed at her in awe. Beautiful, never seen anything so bloody perfect, he thought watching as she bit her lip in concentration. He dragged his hands up to cup her breasts and watched her mouth make a little “Oh!” of pleasure when he rubbed her nipples with his thumbs.
When she started moving faster he moaned. “Won’t last long, kitten…too good…need you so much…fuck…”

He came close to slipping at that moment. He very nearly started babbling about his love for her.

She kissed him fiercely before he could and startled him with her aggressiveness.

My kitten likes being on top, he thought and quickly squirreled away the new knowledge. Reaching between their bodies he used a single finger to tease her until she was writhing on top of him. She moved faster as she got closer, squeezed him tighter each moment until her release.

The feel of her pulsing around him was too good. He grabbed her hips and thrust himself deep into her warmth one final time he came, shouting her name amongst a litany of almost incomprehensible praise.

She dropped limply to rest against his chest, their bodies still joined, and pulled her head slightly to gaze up at him. “Wow. That was…wow.”

William wrapped his arms around her possessively and nodded. “Definitely…amazing.” He smirked weakly. “Haven’t forgot about the book though, luv…your secret…gonna get you to tell me…gonna…as soon as I can move again, I’m gonna make you…”

“Hmmm…and how are you going to do that?” Buffy asked with a giggle as she snuggled against him.

“I’m gonna come up with a plan, a brilliant plan…it will likely involve seduction and your shouting my name.”

“That does sound bad.”

“I’m evil.”

Sunnydale, California 1995

“Why does he talk like that?” Cordelia Chase asked, scrunching her face up like she had an unpleasant taste in her mouth. She looked over her shoulder at the boy in question before turning back to Buffy.

When she’d met Buffy on the first day of school, Cordy had been certain that they would become best friends. After all, she thought, Buffy is pretty like me and has a nice house, not as nice as mine, but nice enough for visits. Cordy was no longer so sure that things were going to work out. She’d come over for a pool party, but Buffy seemed far more interested in playing with a boy from another school; a weird boy from another school.

Buffy looked confused for a moment before suddenly flashing a bright smile. “Because he’s Will.”

“But his voice is funny, like a teacher but…weirder.”

“Oh.” She nodded with understanding. “That’s ‘cause he’s from…British.”

“Is that near L.A.?”

Shrugging, Buffy appeared to consider the question. “I think so.”

London, England 2008

She was just too comfortable. Buffy rubbed her cheek against the soft pillowcase and basked for a moment in the perfect warmth that surrounded her. Maybe, she thought, if I ignore it, it will go away. She concentrated stubbornly on wishing away her body’s need to pee. It didn’t work. There was simply nothing she could do but pull herself out of bed and away from the glorious cocoon of William’s arms. She sighed quietly before carefully untangling herself in hopes of getting up without waking him.

Her very first move, a slight sliding away, brought an instant reaction. He groaned and muttered, and without waking up, tightened his hold on her. He pulled her back to him like she was a stuffed bear and he was still six.

She giggled softly beneath her breath and gave his arm a firmer shove. “William,” she whispered gently, “I really have to use the bathroom.”

He muttered grumpily again, but loosened his grip enough that she was able to slid off the bed.

She shivered as her feet hit the cool wood of the floor and grabbed a large t-shirt as she hurried towards the bathroom.

She couldn’t help but take a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She was tired, it was the middle of the night and she suspected they’d only been sleeping for a few hours, and she was sore, the kind of sore that can only come from a marathon of sex and she couldn’t quite stop smiling. She wondered groggily how people who had sex got anything else done. Now that she’d tried it, the temptation to hide out and never leave the bed was almost overwhelming.

Noticing the dried mascara marks around her eyes she washed her face before heading back to bed. She noted the slight lightening of the sky outside with a frown as she slid back beneath the covers.

Williams arm came around her almost instantly. Nearly as quick as that, he groaned. “What’s this?” His hand bunched the fabric of her t-shirt.

She laughed at the pouty note in his voice. “A shirt. It was cold out of the bed.”

“Reason enough to stay in the bed then.” He moved his body to fit snugly behind hers. “Here I can keep you warm.” He pulled the fabric he had bunched in his hand up a little so that he could slide his hand easily beneath the hem of her shirt and brought his hand up to rest on bare skin. His long fingers splayed so that his thumb rested just beneath her breast and his little finger grazed her belly button.

Contented, now that she was beside him and he was able once more to feel her soft skin, William sighed and began to fall back to sleep.

Buffy found sleep a bit more elusive.

She was turned on. A few weeks ago, it would have been confusing, but she recognized the feeling now, could name it. She could even pin point its cause. In this case, it was clearly the result of being snuggled against a sexy, naked man. And when, she wondered with a note of bewilderment, had she started thinking of Will as sexy or as a man for that matter? She pushed the thought aside; she currently had larger more pressing concerns. First off, she was starting to wonder how it was physically possible for her to even be considering more sex after the three times the evening before. Secondly, she couldn’t quite quiet the little voice in her head asking if that was normal or if she was simply some kind of sex-obsessed nymphomaniac. Mostly though, Buffy was thinking about one thing; how to get Will to wake up and provide an emergency tutoring session.

She wiggled and sighed with frustration. He just pulled her closer.

She tried a more obvious sigh of discontent.

William blinked open one bleary eye. “What’s wrong Buffy? Do you…” Something suddenly occurred to him. His other eye opened and a look of concern covered his face as he rose up to peer down at her. “Are you hurt, luv? I was…I was too rough, I…”

Buffy shook her head quickly. “No, Will. I’m fine. I just…”

He tilted his head, waiting anxiously for her to finish.

I suck at this, she thought with a small self-depreciative laugh. “I just couldn’t sleep ‘cause I’m…I’m all…”

William watched her fidget with an increasing sense of relief as the problem began to make itself clear. He fought back a grin and feigned a concerned expression. “You what pet? Why can’t you sleep? Are you certain that you are not hurt?” He wondered how long it would take to make her say it.

“What? No. I’m fine…just…just forget about it, okay? It was nothing. I’m sure I’ll be able to sleep now.” She turned and curled up on her side.

“Oh, if you’re sure then.” He quickly lied down beside her. “Of course, you could just admit that you want me.”

Buffy flipped over and stared at his smirking face with widened eyes.

“I mean it just seems more effective than lying about making pained moans and such.”

“I…you…I was sighing, like with frustration.”

He nodded, considering. “Still seems like it would have been simpler if you had just told me what you want.”

“But you were sleeping.”

He shook his head as he moved over her. “Doesn’t matter one bit, luv.” He brought his face close to hers. “Just two words, that’s all it would’ve took, that’s all it would ever take.”

She shivered at the husky quality of his voice. “Two words?”

He nodded once before dropping his lips to her ear. “Want you. Need you. Love me. Fuck me. I’m begging. Take your pick, pet.” He rubbed himself against her thigh. “They’ll all work for me.”

“Oh.” She clutched at his shoulders.

He lifted his head and watched her with passion-darkened eyes. “So…”

She looked confused.

“Tell me.”

She frowned. “You really like making me say it.”

He nodded once, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Why?”

“I like hearing it.” He smirked. “Watching you wiggle around and blush, that’s just an added bonus.”

She frowned again and was about to argue when he spoke again.

“I need to know that you’re here with me, kitten, that…”

The earnestness of his expression wiped away her irritation. This is silly anyway, she thought; if he gets off on hearing girls say that they want him I should just go with it. She nodded. “I’m here and I want you.”

“Good, but want…seems weak.” He brought his mouth down to suck on the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder. “I think I’m gonna hold out for need.” He didn’t give her a chance to reply, he quickly reached down and started tugging the t-shirt she’d donned up. “Arms up, pet. It’s a fucking crime to cover these gorgeous tits of yours.”

Her eyes widened at the coarseness of his language, but she lifted hers arms up compliantly.

He whisked the shirt off and grabbed her wrists, pulling her arms up even straighter. He studied her for a second, smirked and pressed her down against the bed pushing her hands towards the rungs on the headboard. “Hold on.” When she didn’t immediately grip the smooth wooden posts, he frowned. “Don’t make me tie you up kitten, you know I’d hate to have to do that.”

He winked then, and she wasn’t sure if it meant that he was joking about tying her up or joking about not wanting to tie her up. And, as she was nearly as unsure of her own feelings on the matter, she gripped the rungs tightly enough to make her knuckles whiten.

William leaned back on his knees and let his eyes trail downwards from her hands to study her tautly stretched body. He swallowed hard. “So bloody gorgeous. Fuck Pet.” He leaned down again to whisper his dark thoughts in her ear. “You know I could keep you here? I could tie you to this bed and…I could make you like it. You’d be mine pet, mine to do with as a wished. I could play with you all night, all day…take you so many times, so many ways, you’d…”

“Will!” It was too much. He’d said it all without touching her. She needed contact. Without a thought she tore her arms from the headboard and pulled his mouth to hers.

He returned her eager kiss for a moment before reaching up to tug her hands down and place them gently back on the headboard. “I’m not going to warn you again.”

Her face paled even as she felt a flood of moisture between her thighs. She regained her grip on the rungs and glanced up at him expectantly.

“Good girl.” He smirked at her with his tongue tucked behind his teeth. “I suppose I should give you a reward, yeah?”

Buffy trembled, but said nothing.

He continued watching her. “Or maybe you don’t want that?”

“What? Will?” Her eyes widened and her breath quickened.

He saw where her thoughts had gone and was thrilled to note the interest in her eyes, but had no intention of taking things that far yet. “I think you should say please, pet.”

“Oh…please.”

“No arguments?”

She shook her head. “I want you, need you. Please.”

He nodded. “Very good.” He trailed kisses from her earlobe down her neck and along her collarbone. Just before he took her nipple into his mouth he glanced up at her through his eyelashes. “So good, Buffy.”

She gasped as he sucked her already hardened nipple into his hot mouth and whimpered his name when he grazed her sensitive peak with his teeth. When he pulled back, she yelled. “Please! No. Please. Will. Fuck. I. Said. Please.” She groaned loudly in frustration.

He chuckled hoarsely and reached up to pull her hands down. He guided her to loop them around his neck and moved to settle himself between her thighs. “You sound right pretty when you’re begging, kitten.”

Buffy balked. “Beg…begging? I didn’t… I never…I…Ooh!” She moaned as he slid quickly into her. “Oh that’s…that’s…”

“Worth begging for?” He stilled.

“I didn’t.” She answered weakly.

“You will.” His voice carried a note of confidence that he didn’t quite feel in his heart. He began moving again, sliding slowly in and out.

Her nails scraped firmly along his shoulders and down his back. He hissed softly at the pain and thrust deeper.

“Would you?” She asked quietly and wasn’t sure if he’d even heard as he didn’t answer for several minutes.

William waited until they were both teetering on the edge before he met her eyes. “Baby, I’d drop to my knees for you anytime. What's more...you bloody well know it."

London, England 2008

Buffy grinned as she tucked the pretty pink bag under a sweater in another shopping bag. She gave the hiding spot a critical glance before nodding to herself. Totally hidden, she decided as she barely held back a giggle.
She’d come to a big realization the night before. All Will’s talk about dropping to his knees, had been, she now realized, his way of telling her something. She wasn’t sure why he never just came out and said it, but she’d gotten the message: Will was kinky.

That was cool, she figured, maybe she was too. Besides, she thought, the whole point of this is for me to learn about sex. Will being into games and such just means I can learn more stuff from him. Also, she decided that playing sex games with him sounded like a lot of fun.

It had taken some convincing, but she had finally managed to talk Will into hanging at a bakery for a little bit so that she could slip into a little shop alone and pick out something to surprise him with. It had taken longer than she had expected. Who, she wondered, knew there were so many sexy toys and costumes and such? She wondered if Will had ever been in a shop like that.

A couple of weeks ago she would have been certain that he hadn’t. A couple of weeks ago it hadn’t even occurred to her that Will might have sex. She shook her head; a couple of weeks ago she really hadn’t known her best friend at all.

Buffy hurried back to the bakery to find two girls standing next to William’s table. She stood to the side and watched them for a moment. They were pretty and clearly flirting, but Will looked oblivious. He seemed to be responding politely enough but his frequent glances back down to his book made it clear that he wasn’t interested in conversation.

Buffy frowned. No wonder he doesn’t have a girlfriend, she thought, he still has a hard time talking to girls. She wondered if she should give him some pointers, it seemed wrong somehow despite their “just friends” status.

William smiled broadly when he spotted Buffy and raised his hand to wave her over.

The girls standing at his side turned slightly to follow his gaze across the room. Neither of them bothered to hide their disappointment in finding that he’d been waiting for a pretty girl. Neither of them decided to waste their time chatting him up any longer. They were gone by the time Buffy reached his table.

Will stood up as she came closer and leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yup. Private lady shopping all done.”

He suspected that meant that Buffy was due to start her period soon and he wondered at his chances of convincing her that it didn’t mean they had to stop their ‘tutoring sessions’. He worked hard to keep his expression neutral.

“Brilliant. What should you like to see next? Madame Tussauds? Big Ben?”

Buffy looked pensive for a moment. “Ooh. I know. Can we go on the big bicycle wheel thingy?”

“The London Eye?” He swallowed hard. “You know at its peak it is 135 meters high? That is nearly 450 feet.”

Buffy frowned slightly. “Still can’t do heights huh?”

“What? No. I didn’t say that.” Will shook his head. I should say that, he acknowledged silently, instead I’m going to try to impress you and likely make an arse of myself. He gave her what he hoped was a strong smile. “The London Eye it is pet.”

Oxford, England 2008

William was thinking about their long weekend in London as he climbed the stairs to his flat two days later. He was still having a hard time focusing on work with Buffy in town, though he did feel like the work he had managed to get done involved some of his most creative thinking. She is like a muse, he thought with an almost wistful smile.
He opened his front door and nearly choked. “Buff?” He shook his head. “What?”

Buffy gave him a sexy grin and reached up to play with the end of one of her pigtails. “What do you think?” She turned slowly to give him a better look.

The shaking hit William almost immediately. He wanted to look away, but couldn’t. She was dressed as a school girl: knee socks, pigtails, little white shirt knotted just beneath her breasts and a plaid skirt so short that the simple act of turning was enough to flash him some panty. She looked every bit the role of a naughty little girl. It was far too close to every dirty thought he’d had as he’d struggled through puberty. He coughed and forced his gaze to the floor. “No.”

“Will.”

“No.” He repeated quietly.

She pouted. “You don’t. I thought you liked to play. I thought you would like it.” She took a couple steps towards him. “You don’t like it?”

Her words brought his head up abruptly. His eyes flashed with lust and anger. “You look like a child.”

She frowned. “Yeah, but like in a sexy way right?” Her shoulders slumped. “I thought you’d like it.” She repeated weakly before turning to head towards the bedroom, confused and a little hurt.

Will stalked towards her angrily. “This is what you think of me? That I’m a pervert, some kind of arse that wants to fuck little girls?”

Her eyes widened and she started to turn back to stare at him in shock.

He grabbed her from behind before she could. Sliding his arm around her waist, he pulled her back tight against his chest.

“Will?” Buffy could feel him trembling. She knew he was upset, but she felt also the length of his erection pressed against her ass. “Will, I’m sorry I just thought…it was just a game.”

William could barely see through the red haze of his distress. What would she think if she knew? He’d want her even if she was still a school girl. He’d always wanted her. He started to speak without consciously deciding to do so. “What did you want here, Buffy? How was this supposed to play out?” He didn’t wait for a response. Rubbing himself against her, he continued in a dark tone. “Am I the headmaster, pet? Have you been sent to my office?”

Gasping, she realized that she hadn’t really thought out a scenario. She had just thought that Will would get a kick out of the naughty costume. “I…I…” Her head was spinning at the abrupt change in Will’s reaction. Had he changed his mind? Did he like the game after all? She had only the briefest of moments to wonder if she liked the game.

“Were you delivering a note?” He pushed her lightly towards the bed, walking in step behind her until her legs were touching the blankets. “Maybe it was just an excuse. Maybe you just can’t get enough of my cock, so you volunteered to bring me the note hoping that I’d be in the mood to play.”

He rubbed his cheek against her head, like a cat marking its territory and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Is that the game, luv? Or maybe you didn’t want to come to my office at all. Did you forget your homework again? Get caught cheating? Do you end up in my office regularly?” He nipped at her ear lobe and raised his hands to untie the knot at the front of her shirt and pull it off.

She trembled as he roughly caressed her breasts. He wasn’t himself. She could feel it, but didn’t know what to do.

“Put your hands on the bed. Keep your ass up.”

“Will!”

He gave her shoulders a little push. “This is the game isn’t it pet?” He guided her down so that she was bent over the bed in front of him and ran his hands up the backs of her thighs, flipping up her skirt. He quickly stepped between her legs pushing them further apart and bent over to whisper in her ear. “Why are you in my office, young lady?”

He could feel her shaking beneath him. It was nerves, at least partly. He knew it. He slid his hand up the inside of one silken thigh and, cupping her, knew that more than just nerves.

He fingered her through the wet fabric. He knew what she wanted, even if she couldn’t say it. He’d do it. He’d like it too much. William knew that he was a bad man.

She gasped loudly when she felt him rip her panties off. “William!” She turned back to look at him in surprise.

He pushed her shoulders down. “Keep your hands down. Look forward and…tell me why you are in my office.”

Sunnydale, California 2004

Buffy yanked the phone out of her mother’s hand excitedly. “Will?!”

“Hello, Buffy.”

“Oh my God. Are you in England yet? Was the plane ride horrible? Did you have to stay in the chair the whole time? When we flew to Chicago for my Aunt Cathy’s wedding the stupid flight attendant wouldn’t let me walk around at all, and she had on like, way too much makeup. Was she the flight attendant on your flight? You’d know her ‘cause she was a mad-annoying witch.” She lowered her voice. “I’d say the other word, but I think my Mom is in the kitchen still.”

William sat on the bed in his dorm room and fought both the urge to laugh and to cry. He’d just spoken to his mother. She had cried and it had been difficult. Calling Buffy was harder though. As happy as it made him to simply hear her voice, listening to her on the phone reminded him all too clearly just how far away she was. He had done the math; she was almost 6000 miles away. “I’m at school. The plane ride wasn’t too bad. I got a lot of reading done. I…I miss you.”

“Well duh.” She blinked hard. She had promised herself that she was going to be happy-girl on the phone so that Will wouldn’t be sad too. “Of course you miss me. I’m awesome. Are you like, already done with all your homework?” She giggled. “You totally are, aren’t you?”
He laughed then, fully. “Not exactly. I have read a couple of the texts we’ll be using…”

“See. I knew it. I’m like a Will expert, an expert on all things Will.”

“That’s true. So do you still have the paper I gave out when to meet me online?”

“Umm…maybe,” she teased. “I mean you only gave me like three copies.”

William blushed. “I just don’t want us to miss each other. You know that I’m eight hours ahead here?”

Buffy laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. I mean…” She broke off in a fit of giggles. “It’s like skipping grades wasn’t enough for you and you had to just skip half a day too. You’re such a nerd.”

“Oi!”

“Hey, do you remember when I used to think that I’d catch up eventually? It was like I thought that somehow I’d be your age at the same time as you. God, I was so dumb.”

“I’ve never thought so.” He swore solemnly.

“But you’re so smart. How did you even put up with me?”

“You’re plenty smart, Buffy. And you’re nice and fun and…you’re the pretty one.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You think I’m pretty?”

“You know that you’re pretty.”

“Yeah,” she agreed companionably. “But I didn’t know you thought so.”

“Well….I do. I mean…for a girl and all.” He rolled his eyes at his lame attempt to cover up his admission before joining her in giggles.

“So wait, if you’re eight hours ahead…then if we chat when I get home from school it’ll be like eleven at night there. Won’t you get in trouble?”

“I’m going to give you a minute to think about that.”

Buffy gasped. “There’s no…you can stay up as late as you want! You are so lucky.”

William chuckled. “I have a curfew, but yes, once I’m in my room no one is going to check to see what I am up to.”
“That is so cool.”

“Yeah.” William agreed, looking around his room. They’d given him a single. Someone at the University had decided that it was the best choice given that he was still a significant bit younger than other freshman. They’d said something to his mother about protecting him from a too mature influence. But with no roommate and the few things he’d brought with him on the plane, his room was looking pretty empty. It might be cool, he thought, but it was also lonely.

Oxford, England 2008

“Keep your hands down. Look forward and…tell me why you are in my office.”

William was quite certain he’d never been more aroused in his life. He felt as though he ached for her at a cellular level, but he was determined to preserve the moment. He knew that she’d misunderstood his reaction, that she’d worried that he didn’t like her outfit or her game. If he could have, he might have laughed at the irony of that. Like was an understatement. It was too perfect. It was mind-reading. It was the exact fantasy that he’d left home to avoid. The small part of his brain that was still rational tried to assure him that it really wasn’t wrong, that she really was an adult now. William just wasn’t so sure that it would have mattered. He wasn’t so sure he would have been able to resist her even if she wasn’t. And that made him sick, reduced him to what he’d once been: an anxious fifteen year old boy trying desperately to hide an almost painful erection caused by the little girl everyone assumed he thought of as a kid sister.

He’d never thought of her as a sister. She’d always been his girl, his future wife. Always when he’d seen her, he’d thought “Mine.” William knew that his feelings of possessiveness towards her were extreme. He’d read dozens of psychology books, he had plenty of theories. Maybe his need to claim her in such a dramatic way came from his hurt at her earlier rejection or from a more general sense of insecurity. Maybe he’d always felt like the weaker half of their duo and simply wanted one area in which he was on top. He supposed it didn’t really matter where the desire came from; the point was simply that having his girl in such a submissive position made him hard, agonizingly hard. He gripped her hips and rubbed himself against the perfect valley of her ass. Groaning loudly, he pulled back to unbuckle his belt, reliving a touch of the painful pressure.

“Tell me the game, kitten. Why are you in my office?”

She looked ahead like he’d told her to, but couldn’t answer. What did he want her to say? The combination of nerves and frustration nearly had her crying.

He continued in a deep, hoarse voice. “Have you been a naughty girl?”

She shuddered. “Will…please.”

His hand slid down her back to squeeze her ass. “Say it.”

“I…I can’t.”

William leaned down and kissed the back of her neck. “You have to. I’ll play the game, kitten. But you have to tell me what we’re playing.”

She knew what he was waiting for. She knew where the game was headed, understood that he needed permission before he’d touch her in that way and a part of her wanted to give him that permission. Her head spun. It was exciting. She knew that with the right words he would spank her and she had just realized that she would probably like it. She would probably like it a lot. So it was exciting, but even more so it was terrifying. It wasn’t that she thought he’d hurt her. She trusted him completely, but she needed time to deal with the personal discovery part of the whole situation. Her voice cracked when she answered. “I don’t…I don’t want to play the game, Will. I just want you. Just. You.”

Oh, the words were perfect. He froze. William wanted desperately to simply let himself believe that she meant them the way they sounded, but he knew better. She wasn’t really saying that she wanted him; she was saying that she wanted to go back to their normal game. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t pretend. Seeing her dressed in that outfit had shocked him. It had frayed his nerves and he just didn’t have the control needed to cover anymore. He’d tried. But he just could play a game she didn’t know was one. William couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He’d known, going in he’d known in was a bad idea. It was dishonest and it made him feel like both the villain and the victim.

The truth was he just wanted to be with her. He didn’t want to be merely her teacher or her friend. He wanted to be her everything. William knew that when she said that she wanted him, she meant his skill or his body even, not him. He needed her to want all of him.

He choked out a hoarse laugh. “Yeah, but you don’t.” He took a step back and watched her quickly move to sit on the bed before he turned away. “Get dressed, yeah? Then we can talk.”

Buffy furrowed her brow. “Will. I…I…don’t know what’s…”

William looked up with wet eyes and nodded once before walking out of the bedroom.

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy slowly tugged on a pair of jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. Her stomach churned. She didn’t know exactly what was bothering Will, but it was clear enough that he was seriously upset and that she was at fault.

She pulled out the elastics holding her pigtails in place and gave her scalp a quick rub. Her hair was probably a mess, but her brush was in the bathroom. When she could think of no other way to reasonably delay talking with Will, she slipped on her flip flops and joined him in the living room.

He was sitting on the edge of the couch with his back bent forward so far that his head dipped between his knees. His hands were fisted against the back of his neck, so that his elbows hid his face from her view. She walked towards him cautiously.

“Will?”

Sunnydale, California 1992

Buffy watched William with a small frown. He hadn’t said hello or good morning or anything. He always said good morning when she came in. Instead, he was walking about the classroom, clearly distressed but equally focused. She watched as he approached a group of children. She couldn’t hear what he said to them, but she could tell that he didn’t like whatever they said back. She watched as he walked away and knew that he was crying.

Buffy ran over to the kids that William had been talking to. Putting her hands on her hips, she glared at them. “Why are you being mean to Will?”

One of the boys, Tommy, frowned and shook his head. “We weren’t.”

“Were too!”

“You’re lying. We didn’t do nothing to his dumb book.”

With a little groan of frustration, Buffy stomped her foot and huffed as she turned away. She hurried over to William, who now stood by the window.

“Will? Did they take your book?”

He shrugged and continued to look out the window. “I think so. I just put it on the table so I could hang up my coat, but now it’s not there.” He sniffled.

Buffy grabbed his arm. “Let’s ask Miss Rose.”

“I already did. She said that I probably just forgot where I put it.” He turned to her quickly. “But I didn’t, Buffy. I didn’t and…and they were all laughing.”

She turned towards the other kids and scowled. “They’re just dumb.” She wanted to go punch Tommy in the nose. No one was supposed to be mean to William.

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy said his name again as she sat down beside him on the couch. “Will? What’s wrong?” He didn’t answer, she wasn’t even really sure that he could hear her. He looked like he was lost, like he wasn’t there, and instead was stuck somewhere else. In his own head, she supposed, and she tried to remember if she’d ever seen him so upset before. She moved to sit on the coffee table across from him and reached out to gently tug his hands into hers.

“William. I need to know what’s going on.”

He looked up slowly as he let her guide his hands to rest on his knees. His eyes were lined in red and she knew that he’d been crying. His voice was hoarse when he spoke.

“I have to show you something.”

She nodded and smiled encouragingly. Buffy pushed aside her own fears and concerns. As he always had before, William drew her in. She wanted to protect him. Sure, he was the older one, but she had always been the protector. William had always been…delicate. The other kids had teased and she had stepped in. Seeing him upset was like a switch being flipped; Buffy switched modes. She focused.

“Okay, Will. Show me.”

She was speaking to him gently, as though she was afraid he’d break if she rushed him or spoke a hard word. William wondered if he would. He wondered if this was it. Buffy had never treated him like a freak. No matter how odd she might have found his ways, she had always accepted them. Sure, she’d teased, but no more than he had. She’d never acted like he was really different, at least not in a bad way. He wasn’t sure he could survive her looking at him that way now. He moved one hand out from under hers and opened a drawer in the side table. With one last calming breath, William pulled out the ring box.

Buffy frowned as he opened the small box between them. Her heart started pounding in her chest and she could hear her own blood rushing in her ears.

“Will. Will, I don’t understand. Were you going to marry Dru? Is that what’s wrong?”

His eyes widened at her misunderstanding and he shook his head. “Wasn’t for Dru, pet.”

Buffy stood up quickly, shaking her head. There were too many words in her head for her to make out clear thoughts. “I…I don’t understand.” She began pacing nervously about the room.

“It was my grandmother’s ring. My…my mum gave it to me a few years back. I had it sized for you.”

Her head shot up. “Because we slept together? Will, we don’t…”

“No, Buffy.” He stood up and took a step towards her. He stopped when she only moved further away. “I had the ring sized as soon as I got it. It was always for you.”

“But Will, that’s…”

“I want you to marry me.”

She froze; her hand came up to cover her mouth as she stared at him.

“You…you used to want that too, you said it. You said that you would marry me.”

He looked away. It was there now, the look that he’d never wanted to see. He had his answer; she finally thought that he was a freak. When she was five, he’d reorganized her toys by category and alphabetically by name, and she had simply giggled and thanked him. “That is better,” she’d said. When he was eight and obsessed with the color blue, she had worn a blue dress every time he came over. No matter what any of her other friends had said, Buffy had always chosen him. She had made him feel like he was okay. She’d made him feel like he was special. She was the best thing about him. And now he’d lost her.

“We were kids. It was a game.” The words were directed towards herself as much as towards him.

“Not to me.”

“Oh my God, Will. I don’t…” Her mind didn’t know where to start. William wanted to marry her. It was insane. He was her best friend. Suddenly, she felt like she didn’t know him at all. Had he really always thought that they’d get married? “What about Dru?”

He understood the question. If he’d always wanted her, why had he been with someone else? He sighed. “Dru was…a patch. A band-aid on the wound. Nothing compared to you. Last year, I came home so that…I thought you’d want me there…for the prom. I…I thought you were my girl. But you told Willow…” He trailed off. He’d already said too much. She looked shocked, horrified even.

“I told Willow…that I wanted to go with someone else?” She tried to remember the conversation. Nothing came to mind. It had been inconsequential, just a couple of girls chatting. Whoever she had wanted to go with hadn’t been more than a passing interest.

William could barely even whisper the words that had haunted him ever since that day. “You…you said that I was like your brother.”

She could see the hurt in him. Even in the midst of all that was happening, even in the midst of her own confusion and pain, Buffy’s first instinct was to try and comfort him. She wanted to hold him and tell him that it was okay and that she was sorry, but she couldn’t. She never lied to Will and everything was definitely not okay. She didn’t think it could ever be okay again. She’d slept with him. He’d said that he would teach her, that they’d still be friends.

“So, so you tricked me?”

All the blood drained from his face. “What? No…I never meant…”

“You lied to me.” She said it with more shock than accusation. William had been her pillar for as long as she could remember. It was almost inconceivable to her that he had wronged her.

She felt like a fool, like a stupid little girl. William had always been the smart one. He was a fucking genius after all. But he’d never made her feel stupid. He’d always made her feel like his equal, but he’d tricked her. He’d played her. He’d used her innocence, her inexperience, and he’d convinced her that it was okay to do something that she knew was wrong.

He stalked towards her, shaking his head. “I didn’t. I never said that I didn’t love you. I never said that I didn’t want you. I told you…so many times…I told you how precious…I tried to show you what you mean to me…but—”

“Don’t William. Don’t play with words. You said that we were friends, that what we did, we did as friends. I’d have never…” She trailed off. She could feel the bile rising in her throat. She was losing her best friend. She felt as if she’d been blind her whole life. How could she not have seen it?

“You’d have never what, Buffy? You’d have never slept with me if you thought I might care. I’m an acceptable fuck but anything more is out of the question. Is that it?”

She couldn’t answer. It was nauseating, but as pissed as she was with him, she still felt like comforting him. She wouldn’t.

William couldn’t see through the red haze of his anger and pain. He’d known that she’d be shocked, of course he’d known, but he’d held on to his hope. They were perfect together. He knew without a doubt that she wanted him; the way she’d responded to him physically couldn’t be faked. In his fantasies, the ones he could barely even admit to himself, she’d been thrilled to learn of his devotion. In his dreams she’d ran into his arms and thanked him for never forgetting their love. He’d imagined her smiling and laughing while telling him that of course she loved him too. Buffy had just shattered all of his dreams. She was looking at him like it disgusted her to have ever touched him. She was looking at him like he was a stranger. He knew that no vows of everlasting love would be forthcoming. The hurt was too much, he lashed out blindly.

“Were you that hard up, pet? Had to fuck me? So sorry I don’t measure up to your standards. Oh, wait that’s right, you were plannin’ to prowl like a cat in heat for some poor bloke, weren’t you? ”

“I can’t….” Buffy shook her head almost violently. “I can’t do this right now. I’m…I’m sorry. This is…” She turned and fled the apartment.

She ran down the stairs and was half-way down the block before she realized that she didn’t know where to go. She’d left her purse in the apartment and she couldn’t go back. The only people she knew were William’s friends, so she just walked.

She couldn’t get his words, the despair on his face, out of her head. They hurt, but worse were the recriminations shouted out in her own inner voice, because she knew. Not everything, she had certainly not thought that William was planning their wedding, but she had sensed that there was something. From the beginning she had known that adding sex to the friendship was too easy, that there were words that should have been said and others that shouldn’t. She knew that she couldn’t put all the blame on William. She had felt loved, if she had ever stopped to think about it, she would have noticed that she felt loved. But she had always felt loved by William; he was her best friend. He was more than that. She didn’t have a name for it; she didn’t have words to explain what he meant to her. She couldn’t believe that he’d lied.

The guilt ate a hole in her stomach, while the shock of William’s betrayal broke her heart.

Buffy was only a little surprised to find herself on campus an hour later. She sat on a bench and hugged her legs to her chest. She had to think. What was she supposed to do?

Oxford, England 2008

William regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He’d told her that he never wanted her to feel like she was dirty; he’d said that he wanted to make her experiences beautiful, but he’d just called her a whore. As angry as he was, he knew that was unfair. Buffy had only played the game he’d set up. It wasn’t her fault that he didn’t like the rules.

He didn’t get a chance to apologize. He watched, unsurprised, as she ran away before he dropped to the couch to weep in a way he hadn’t since his father died.

Oxford, England 2008

Liam didn’t leave his office until dark. That wasn’t unusual. He preferred to keep late hours as much as possible. Coming in late allowed him to sleep off the previous night’s activities and provided the added benefit of helping him avoid perky do-good types who were inevitably awake at dawn. He considered, briefly, giving William or Wesley a ring on the telephone and decided against it. Liam enjoyed being a bachelor, but not so much a third wheel.

So he was headed to the pub alone when he spotted her. William’s girl was sitting on the park bench outside his building, looking a bit too much like a lost kitten. He approached her with a concerned expression.
“Lass, don’t tell me you’re waiting for Willie all alone out here.”

She looked up at him with a startled expression before shaking her head.

He could see that she was upset. Liam noticed the tears she was holding back and wanted nothing more than to stop them. He really couldn’t handle a crying girl, but he didn’t have a clue as to what was bothering her.
“Do you need help, love? I could help you find him.”

“No!” Buffy stood up quickly. “I can’t…I can’t see him.” There was a frantic tone to her speech.

Liam’s eyes widened and he hoped sincerely that this wasn’t as bad as it looked. “Okay lass, why don’t we start at the beginning?”

“I can’t see him. I can’t. But you can.” She looked at him imploringly. “You could go see him and just…just make sure that he is all right.” Buffy couldn’t go in her current state of turmoil. She wasn’t sure whether she’d hug Will or break his nose.

“And why don’t we go see him together? Yeah?” He was tempted to go find William right then, but he knew that the other man would want him to take care of Buffy first.

“No. I can’t see him. I don’t even know him…not…he lied to me.” She wasn’t even talking to him any more, just muttering mournfully to herself.

Liam shook his head. Well shit, Willie, he thought sadly, what the hell have you done? “Well, now that doesn’t really sound like our boy, does it? It’s a misunderstanding, maybe.”

Buffy gazed up at him miserably. He was William’s friend, but he’d been kind and she didn’t have anyone else. “He lied to me. I…we…we slept together, but…”

Relief poured through Liam’s body. He smiled at her gently and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I don’t know what happened, love, but I swear on all that is holy, the boy loves you heart and soul.”

He was horrified when she dissolved into tears a second later.

Oxford, England 2008

William was out of liquor, he wasn’t much of a drinker so he didn’t keep a lot in his flat. He certainly didn’t have enough to fill the Buffy-shaped hole in his heart.

He stared at the empty bottle in front of him but saw only the look of disgust that had been on Buffy’s face before she had run out.

Even in memory the look felt like a punch to the gut. William looked about desperately for something to numb it and found himself out. Two, now empty, bottles had been the entirety of his home bar.

There was nothing else he could do. William had to go to the pub. He knew that they had plenty of liquor there.
It had been two hours since Buffy had run out. He didn’t think that she was going to come back, but he left the door unlocked just in case. The possibility of being robbed didn’t concern him; he’d already lost the only thing that really mattered to him.

Oxford, England 2008

Liam patted Buffy gently on the shoulder as he tried to make sense of her sob-ridden speech. “Lass, I’m not sure if I understand the problem here. You’re upset because the boy slept with you because he’s in love with you.” He couldn’t quite keep the incredulity out of his voice. In Liam’s experience, most girls expected a pledge of undying love in the morning, regardless of what they said the night before.

She sniffled and nodded miserably.

“And you…don’t love him?”

Buffy frowned. “Of course I do, I’m just…” She almost said that she wasn’t in love with him, but her mind questioned that assertion. Could she be in love with him? Her eyes widened as the thought occurred to her. She shook it off. It wasn’t really the point. Right now, Buffy had to focus on the mess they’d made of the friendship.

“He’s my best friend, but he tricked me. I wouldn’t have…if I’d known that it would hurt him, I’d have never done it. I never wanted to hurt him.”

Liam nodded and tried to figure out exactly what had happened. As best as he could figure, William had managed to get the girl in his bed by convincing her that friends can have sex without damaging their friendship. Friendly sex, sounded to Liam more like something he, himself, would come up with. It provided a nice out if the girl started to get too clingy, but it made no sense for William to suggest it. William clearly wanted the girl to get all clingy. Liam knew the younger man well. He was certain that William was desperately in love with the small blonde girl now crying in his arms. Why hadn’t his boy simply kissed the girl and admitted his feelings? Liam sighed. William seemed hell bent on making things more difficult and Buffy appeared set to go along with him.

“Of course you didn’t.”

“So, you’ll go check on him? Don’t…don’t tell him I sent you; just make sure he’s okay.”

“Yeah, lass. I’ll be doing that. First, let’s get you all set. Have you eaten?”

****************************************************************************
Liam led Buffy into the pub and guided her towards a table with a gentle hand at the small of her back. She hadn’t spoken much to him once he’d assured her that he would check on William, but had accepted his help and directions with a sort of exhausted gratitude. If he hadn’t been so concerned about his friend, Liam would have enjoyed playing White Knight for the pretty girl beside him. There was certainly something about her that brought out his protective side. The only other person who did that was William, who Liam supposed had taken on the role of little brother.

He pulled out a chair, helped Buffy sit down and was taking a step towards his own seat when he saw Faith was headed his way in a full fury. He grinned. He didn’t have a clue about what had her so worked up, but she was glorious in her anger. He watched her stalk towards him for a brief second, her nostrils flaring and her eyes flashing, before stifling his smile and adopting a bored expression.

“I knew you were a dog, but even you I wouldn’t have thought could sink this low.” She grated the words out in a loud whisper as she shoved him towards the door.

He pulled his arm away from her and glared. “Oi! What are you on about now, you harpy?”

“You should be ashamed of yourself. Have you no concern for your friend at all? Your friend, who by the way has been nearly passed out on my bar for the past hour and is in love with that girl. But it’s nothing to you, right? Just a bit of fun.”

Liam’s eyes widened as he absorbed what she was saying. It hadn’t occurred to him that William might come to the pub and, though he thought that Buffy and the boy needed to have themselves a good talk, he suspected it would go better in the morning. He would need to keep them apart tonight. His frown deepened as he realized what Faith had been accusing him of.

“Sorry I can’t live up to that villainous role you’ve got playin’ in your head there, lass. I found the girl all weepy outside my office. Seemed to me that my friend would want her cared for, so I called up Winifred and got her a place to stay for the night…brought her here for some food while we wait.”

He watched with a touch of surprise as Faith blushed guiltily. He wanted to bask in his moment of moral superiority, but mostly it just hurt that she had thought him capable of such a despicable maneuver. “And if the boy’s so bad off why didn’ ya cut him off and send him home?”

Faith shook her head and gave him a small smirk. “I did cut him off…been feeding him shots of ginger ale and he can’t tell the difference.”

Liam grinned; he never held his anger very long. “The lad’s a light weight.”

She nodded companionably. “I couldn’t send him home. He looks all helpless…like a puppy or something.” She shrugged and looked away awkwardly.

Liam enjoyed watching her admit to her softer side, but knew better than to tell her that. “I appreciate you keepin’ an eye on him. I’ll come collect him just as soon as Freddy comes for this one.” He nodded towards Buffy before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. “I’d best take her upstairs until then.” He winked.

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy cried herself to sleep. It didn’t take long; she was exhausted.

She woke up with the unnatural calm that comes from being completely drained emotionally. She blinked hard several times. Her eyes stung, but she couldn’t cry again.

She felt like she had nothing left inside her.

More than almost anything she wanted to run to her best friend. She wanted him to tell her that everything would be all right. He was clever, he’d figure something out. She wanted him to pull her into his arms for a big hug and say that of course they would always be friends.

But she couldn’t. Her best friend was the one who had hurt her. More so, she had hurt him. She hadn’t wanted to. Buffy would never have chosen to hurt him. She’d once read that the worse kind of person was the kind who was careless with the hearts and feelings of others. She had never thought that she could be that kind of person. How, she wondered, could she have failed to see his feelings for so long? She thought that she must be a particularly horrible person if she were so self-involved that she hadn’t really even known her best friend.

The tears that she had thought she’d run out of returned with a vengeance.

Oxford, England 2008

William moaned loudly as he woke up. Lifting his head from the bed, he fought off a heavy wave of nausea. Everything hurt. He felt like he’d been trampled by elephants. He groaned and reached for his throbbing head and struggled to remember the previous evening.
He was just remembering the part where he decided to go to the pub, when a voice interrupted his misery.

“Well, I expect you’re feeling like a pile of steaming dung this morn,” Liam commented cheerily as he walked towards the bed.

William turned and blinked one red eye at him. “When did you get here?”

Liam grinned. He couldn’t help it. Perfect little William Pratt, who almost never had more than two beers before he headed home to get more work done, had one royal hangover. It was just too funny. “Oh, I got here ‘bout the same time as you seein’ as I’m the one who toted your sorry arse home last night.”

William was sure that he should feel grateful. He didn’t. He groaned again. “Yeah. Job done. Go home.” He dropped back down on the mattress with a whimper.

Liam laughed. “Sorry lover,” he teased, “my best mate services have only just begun. We need to get you sobered up.” He placed a mug and bottle of Tylenol on the bedside table. “Start with this and then get in the shower. I’m making breakfast.”

Liam was out of the room before his words cleared the fog in William’s brain.

“You’re what?”

It took him three tries but William got out of bed and swallowed three pills with a mouthful of surprisingly good coffee. He stumbled out of his bedroom towards his kitchen. He gripped the top of a chair and watched in horror-filled surprise as Liam moved expertly about preparing what appeared to be the largest breakfast in the history of England. He groaned again. Food smells were not good.

“What are you doing?” He demanded in a weak voice.

“Told you, mate. A sound breakfast is just what you need before you go talk to the girl.” He tossed William a look over his shoulder. “Well, that and a shower.”

A reminder of how much he’d screwed things up with Buffy was not what William needed. He gripped the chair tightly to prevent from falling. “No.”

“No, what?”

“I can’t…I’m not going to go talk to her. I don’t…Oh, God! I don’t know where she is, she could be—”

“The girl’s fine. I told you last night. She’s over at Fred and Wesley’s place and probably feeling just as bad as you this morning.”

William looked confused for a moment. “She was drinking?”

Liam laughed again, making William close his eyes and scowl.

“Nah, the lass is a fair bit smarter than you. She stuck to tea last night.”

William let himself feel a moment of relief. Buffy was safe. She might never talk to him again, but she was safe with Fred and Wes. “I’m not eating breakfast.” He said grumpily.

“Sure you will. It’ll help with the hangover to get some nosh into you.”

“I’ll puke.”

Liam shook his head. “Doubt you’ve got much left in you after last night.” He ignored William’s groan. “Go. Take a shower first.”

William turned away. “I’m going back to bed. Go home.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “Get in the shower, mate. Else I’ll put you there myself.”

He froze. William didn’t know why he was helping, but he knew Liam well enough to know that though he was laid back, once he’d made up his mind, there was no stopping him. William was quite certain that the larger man would not hesitate to wrestle him into the shower. It was an additional humiliation that he didn’t need. Grumbling to himself, he headed towards the bathroom. With any luck, he thought, Liam would lose interest and go home before he got out.

Liam did not lose interest. When William finally emerged from the bathroom he found that Liam had set breakfast on the table. William shook his head slowly and went to the bedroom to get dressed. He found Liam pulling clothes from his closet. He knit his brow and scowled as he watched the pile of rejected items on the floor grow.

“What are you doing now?”

Liam held up a shirt triumphantly and grinned. “I have it on good authority that the ladies like it when you wear this shirt.”

William didn’t know where to start. The whole morning was starting to feel like an episode of the “Twilight Zone”. He sighed and looked at the shirt Liam had chosen. It wasn’t anything special, just a blue poplin button up. He often wore it with khakis to work.

“What’s so special about that shirt?”

Liam shrugged. “The color, I think. How about you ask your girl?” He handed the clothes over and left the room.

William used his damp towel to rub his hair dry and quickly pulled on jeans and the clothes Liam had handed him. He was tempted to put on something else. It irritated him to let Liam boss him about, but he couldn’t really work up the motivation to pull open his drawer or walk over to the closet to find something. He joined Liam at the table a moment later.

“She’s not my girl.”

Liam gave him a considering look. “You love her.” It wasn’t a question.

William nodded. “Yeah.” He toyed with his eggs miserably. “She probably hates me.”

“She was worried about you. Last night, when I found her, she wanted me to look after you.”

William looked up at him, startled.

Liam gave him a grin. “Don’t get me wrong, mate. The girl is pissed, but she doesn’t hate you.”

“What am I going to do?”

“Talk to her. Seems to me you should have done a bit more of that before, though I can’t really blame you for bein’ a tad overeager. She’s plenty pretty enough to make a man think with his second brain.”

William stared at his friend for several seconds. “Why are you doing this? I figured you’d be telling me I should be grateful that she wasn’t clingy or some such.”

Liam chuckled. “You’re not me. Just not cut out for the bachelorhood. Too soft. Besides, you love her.” At William’s skeptical look, he added “I figure it’s about time for you get a little happiness, yeah?”

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy lifted her hand to knock and then swiftly pulled it back down. She took a deep breath. She had to talk to William. She needed to make sure that he was all right, tell him that she was sorry, and tell him that she was hurt. Hardest of all, she needed to say those things without crumbling into a pile of sobbing girl or saying something that only made them both hurt more. She smoothed down the shirt that Fred had lent her and, with a final rallying breath, she knocked.

She was only a little surprised to see Liam answer the door. She had, after all, made him promise that he would check in on William. She gave him a tentative smile and was relieved when he returned it. She couldn’t help worrying that once he’d spoken with William he’d hate her for hurting his friend.

“There you are.” Liam pulled her into a quick bear hug and smacked a noisy kiss on her cheek. “Go easy on the lad,” he whispered, “he’s sorry, he’s a good boy and he loves you.”

Buffy blinked back tears as she pulled away, but she gave him a little nod. She didn’t disagree with anything he’d said but she didn’t think there was any way to clear up the hurt they were both feeling.

Buffy looked over towards William. “Hey.”

He gave her a small smile. “Hi.” He dropped his eyes to the floor.

Liam looked back and forth at them and nodded. “All right then, I was just heading out. You two have a nice visit.” He grinned and left, certain that all would be well soon.

William started talking as soon as the door shut. “I’m so sorry, pet. I didn’t mean—”

“Wait.” Buffy held up her hands. “Let me start here, okay?”

He looked pained, but he nodded in agreement.

“I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me. I get that. It’s my fault too. But Will, I didn’t know how you felt. You never…you never said anything and I’ve barely seen you these last couple of years and…maybe I’m blind, but I didn’t know. And when I said that I wouldn’t have slept with you if I’d known, I meant that I wouldn’t have risked hurting you. I wouldn’t have. You were my best friend.” A couple of tears trailed down her cheeks, but she plowed on. “You said that we’d still be friends and I believed you. Maybe that was stupid but I-I guess I was stupid, but I didn’t mean to hurt you. You need to know that.”

William nodded. “I do, love. I know. It was my fault. All of it.”

She shook her head firmly. “Not all of it. It took both of us to screw up this badly.” She gave him a wry smile.

“But it doesn’t have to…just give me a chance here. I know I’m not who you…I’m not the type you thought you’d be with, but I could make you happy. I’d do anything to—”

Buffy held up her hands. “Please, Will. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re smart and funny and…” She sighed. “You’re…gorgeous. It’s not you. Will, it’s me.”

He shook his head. “No. Pet, I know I screwed up, but we’re perfect together. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. I’ve always loved you. You’re the one, Buffy. You’re the only one.”

Her voice wavered as her crying grew stronger. “I can’t be,” she whispered painfully.

He stalked towards her. “You are. You have to feel it too.” He brushed his hand across her cheek and stepped close to her body. He trembled. “We fit. Buffy, we fit together.”

“Will—”

“Tell me felt it too. You can’t say that you didn’t feel it, the way your body reacts to my touch. You’re my girl, Buffy.” He spoke fervently. “Just give me a chance.”

She looked up at him with sad eyes. “I can’t. I’m just not ready for this.”

His eyes widened. “The se-we don’t need to sleep together. I don’t want to push you. I never meant to push you do anything that—”

“You didn’t. That’s not what I meant. I’m not ready to be what you’re looking for. You’ve got it all figured out. You know who you are and what you want. You’ve got the ring. William, that’s…I’m, I’m still basking in the glow of no longer having to remember to wash my P.E. uniform. I’m going to Sunnydale U because I couldn’t make up my mind and pick a school and so I ran out of time. I don’t even know what I’m going to study.” She shook her head. “I’m not ready to get married.” She started to move back, but he held tight.

“We don’t need to get married tomorrow. Of course you’re going to go to school and I know we have things we need to work out. I’m not…you don’t have to wear the ring, just let me take you out. Just a date- no pressure.” He looked hopeful.

She knew that he didn’t understand. No pressure was impossible. You couldn’t go on a date with the person you loved most without any pressure. You couldn’t go on a date with a man who already had a wedding ring for you with no pressure. She gave him a quick hug and pulled away. “I can’t, Will. I changed my flight. Fred’s going to bring me to the airport this afternoon. I need to get my stuff packed.”

William felt like she’d punched him. He couldn’t even breathe. He shook his head. “You’re leaving. Just like that. You still have four days.”

He stepped towards her but she moved back.

“I think its best.”

He stared at her in shock.

“I’m sorry. I do love you, not how you…” Her shoulders slumped. “I love you.” Not knowing what else to say, Buffy went to pack up her things.

Sunnydale, California 1998

Buffy bounced up the ladder and out of the pool. Without bothering to grab a towel, she ran across the yard and plopped herself down on the chaise beside William.
The boy had to act quickly to save his papers from her dripping hair, but it didn’t occur to him to mind. As always, Buffy made him smile. He gifted her with a particularly big one while he waited for her to start talking. She almost always started their conversations.

“Is that homework?” Buffy gave the thick volume in his hand a pointed glance and sighed heavily. She knew he had a lot more work to do than she did and she knew that it was selfish to expect him to play with her the whole weekend, but she couldn’t help wishing that he could.

“My book?”

She nodded and scowled at the offensive item.

William shrugged. “It is and it isn’t. That is, I will be doing a report on it, but I was allowed to choose it for myself so it doesn’t really feel like work.” He smiled. “It is a very exciting story. I think that you would like it too.”

Buffy’s expression was dubious at best. “What’s it called?”

“The Three Musketeers.”

She rolled her eyes and glared with the kind of certainty that only a ten year old can have. “That’s a candy bar.” Her foot tapped with excessive energy.

He chuckled and ducked his head, his light brown curls brushing across his eyes as he did. His cheeks were flushed as he held up the book to her. “It was a book first. See?”

Buffy read the book’s title with a slight pout. “What’s it about?”

William’s expression grew serious as he considered the question. “It’s…it is about a lot of things, but mainly I think that it is about being a good friend. There are men in this book who the very best sort of friends. They know that they can count on each other to support the rest no matter what happens.”

Nodding, Buffy gave him a grin. “Like us.”

He beamed back at her. “Yes, and they have sword fights.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Swords are way cool.”

“I think you would be very good in a sword fight.”

She smiled in agreement and swung her still wet arm over his shoulder. “Yeah, we could totally kick baddie butt!”

He shivered as the cold water dripped down his back and blushed as her scent filled his nose. It had been three weeks since she’d demanded that he kiss her. She hadn’t said anything about it since, but William found himself thinking about it with alarming frequency. “Hmmm…Which bad guys should we start with?”

“Anyone who tries to get in our way.” She declared with a dramatic waving of her arm.

“Get in our way while we do what exactly?” He asked with an amused smirk. He assumed she would say something about world domination; he liked the answer she gave even better.

“Be best friends forever.”

Oxford, England July 2008

“So she got scared and ran, so what? You’re not gonna just let her go, are you?” Liam looked almost disgusted at the thought. “I thought you said you loved her.”

William’s temper flared. “Of course I love her, she’s all I bloody think about, but she made her feelings quite clear. She didn’t even want to stay in the same country as me, had to go and switch her flight just to escape.”

Liam shook his head. “She got scared.” He repeated with a shrug. “You’re the one acting like it’s over.”

The blonde’s look was incredulous. “What the bleedin’ hell do you think I was supposed to do? Race to the airport and wrestle her into my car? And then what? Chain her up until she decides to give me a chance?” The thought had occurred to him, though he was far too ashamed to admit it.

Liam chuckled. “Probably not the likeliest plan.”

“Then what?” William slumped desolately into a chair in Liam’s office. It was, he felt certain, hopeless. “I don’t think she’s even talking to me.”

Liam shook his head. “Give her a couple of days to calm down and when you do call on her again try to avoid telling her the names you’ve picked out for the many daughters you no doubt hope she’ll bear you.”

William glared for a moment but was simply too miserable to hold the expression. “Just can’t believe she left like that.” He sighed.

“Maybe it’s time for you to go home.” Liam gave the younger man a thoughtful glance.

A single dark eyebrow arched on William’s face. “It’s eleven in morning. I think it’s generally preferred if we put in more than a two hour work day.”

Liam grinned. “What I mean is: what the hell are you still doing in Britain when your girl is in the states? Go home, mate.”

Sunnydale, California, December 2008

Buffy giggled as she raced Willow to the nearest computer. It was 12:01. The grades for her first semester were posted and she felt certain that she’d burst if she had to wait another moment before seeing them. It wasn’t that she was worried. She knew that she had done well, she’d put in the work and had gotten excellent marks all term; she just needed to see the final numbers.

Ignoring Willow’s pout, she scrambled into the chair as she logged in at record speed. She bit her lip and whimpered as she waited for the page to load. She was sure that the world was conspiring to drive her mad. Certainly, it had never taken this long before. She gasped when the page finally appeared and stared at the screen in a stunned silence.

“Buffy!” Willow hugged her excitedly. “3.8!”

It was true; she had gotten an A in almost every course. Only the dreaded Chemistry Lab had broken her streak. Since she had started the term certain that she’d fail that one she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad about the B.
She returned Willow’s hug and graciously offered over the chair. Her good mood held strong through the discovery that Willow had indeed pulled off a perfect 4.0 semester. “This,” she announced, “calls for some celebrating. Do you want to come out with me and my mom tonight? I’m thinking that we’ve earned some alfredo and maybe some tiramisu from Luigi’s.”

Willow shook her head and blushed. “I kind of—I have a date.”

Buffy’s eye widened and she grinned. “Willow! How did you not tell me? Who is it? Oh!” Her eyes twinkled knowingly. “The bass player. Right? The one you’ve been mooning over. I told you he was interested. It’s him right?”

The redhead nodded gamely. “Oz. I sort of ran in to him. Well, I actually literally ran into him in the café yesterday.” She grimaced. “But he was really nice about it and—”

“And he asked you out! Willow, that’s great!”

Willow laughed at her friend’s exuberance. Buffy always seemed far more interested in Willow’s romantic life than she did in her own. Willow tried to remember the name of the last guy Buffy had gone on a date with. She’d only gone out with a couple of guys all term and never a second time. Afterwards, when Willow asked her about them she would simply shrug and tell her that there just wasn’t any spark. Buffy seemed completely unconcerned with the situation, but Willow suspected that there was more at play there than a couple of lukewarm kisses. She wished that Buffy would talk with her about it, but the blonde had been pretty quiet about such things since she had returned from England the previous summer. In many ways Willow thought, she had come back a different girl. She was still playful in a lot of ways, but always now there was an underlying cautiousness in her actions. Willow supposed that Buffy’s new found focus on school and her increased ability to consider the big picture were really good things, she just wanted to know what had brought them about.
Willow knew that something had happened between Buffy and William. She knew that whatever had happened had been big, but she still didn’t know what that something was. It wasn’t that she hadn’t asked; Willow had broken her own rule and flat out asked Buffy about her visit. Buffy wasn’t sharing. Willow knew that Buffy hadn’t spoken with William since she’d left England, but she also knew that Buffy had nothing bad to say about him and that she still had his picture up in their dorm room. Since it seemed so clear to her that Buffy stilled cared deeply about him, Willow supposed that William must have drifted away from Buffy. Her gut told her that was wrong too. Every memory she had of the man in question reinforced her belief that he had always and would always adore Buffy.

Buffy was sure that she should be walking on clouds. She’d never gotten such good marks in high school, though her teachers had frequently pointed out that she could if she’d have “buckled down”. A part of her wanted to dance for joy, but she wouldn’t, just as she was once again unable to follow her first instinct and call Will. She’d lost her best friend. It was her nightmare, the very one that had made dating him seem so impossible. She hadn’t needed the semester of college to see the horrid irony that she’d lost him because she had been afraid that she would lose him. But it hadn’t been just that, she reminded herself. She really hadn’t wanted to hurt him anymore and she’d been so worried that she would. It was better this way; she reassured herself, it was better for him. She imagined that he’d moved on with his life in Oxford by now and wondered if he had a new girlfriend. Buffy supposed she could ask his mother, she still saw her almost weekly, but decided that not knowing was easier for her.

She still wanted to call him. She imagined how happy he would sound when she told him about her grades and how he would tease that she could have been doing that well all along. She quickly found herself losing interest in going out that evening. It wasn’t a unusual occurrence. Her suddenly undependable appetite had caused her to lose several pounds since school started. Buffy blamed the cafeteria food, but suspected that her mother wasn’t buying it.

They were walking out of the campus library a couple of moments later when she saw him. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She was almost certain he was a mirage. Only his hair was darker and she couldn’t figure out why her subconscious would do that. She froze and gasped. “Will?”

The man in question looked up at her in clear surprise. He hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. He wasn’t ready. His heart raced, but William quickly adopted an unreadable expression and gave her a single solemn nod. “Hello, Buffy.”

Sunnydale, California December 2008

Buffy stared at him in open shock. “Will?” She repeated his name quietly, almost to herself.

He nodded and tried to read her expression. Clearly she was surprised, but he couldn’t decide if she was happy-surprised and horrified-surprised.There was a big difference between the two.

Willow watched the two stare at each other for several moments trying to read the situation. They both just looked lost.Even not knowing what was happening she hurt for them. When the silence had gone on too long for her she held out her hand to William. “Hi. Wow! I don’t think I’ve seen you in years. I’m Willow, you probably don’t remember me.”

William tore his gaze from Buffy and took in the slight blush gracing the redhead’s complexion. He gave her a small smile, remembering that she'd always been the warmest of Buffy's other friends. He'd always preferred having Buffy to himself, but he'd never really minded Willow's company. “Yes. Of course, I remember. It’s nice to see you again.” He took her hand and gave it a quick shake.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked suddenly. It wasn’t how she meant for the question to sound, but it was out before she could rephrase.

William quickly decided that his being in Sunnydale was not a good surprise.His jaw tightened as he struggled to keep the hurt from his tone. “I’ve taken a position here.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Here, as in Sunnydale U, here?” She pointed dramatically towards the ground they were standing on.

Again he misread her surprise for displeasure. It wasn’t hard since it was what he was expecting. She hadn’t called or written since she’d left. He’d tried to give her some space, but he wondered now if that had been a mistake.He wondered if he'd only made things worse. “Yes, I—It was time to come home. It’s a large school. I’m certain that I can stay out of your way. I—I have no desire to cause you—I’ll try to stay out of your way.”

“Oh.” His cold words and tone of voice hit Buffy like a punch to the stomach. It was a surprise, but only a small one. She knew all too well that she had hurt him. Of course he doesn’t want to spend time with you, she admonished herself, you didn’t even notice he was in love with you. She suspected that he thought of her as the most self-involved girl in the world at this point, and she couldn’t find it in herself to blame him.

“It—It was nice to see you.” He nodded to both girls. “I’ll leave you both now to enjoy your day.” He turned and started up the library steps.

“Oh! Right. I mean, it was nice to see you too. Umm—Welcome home.”

Buffy wasn’t sure he’d even heard her words as he’d hurried into the library so quickly. She turned, pale-faced, towards Willow and spoke in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “I don’t know what to do?”

Willow frowned sympathetically. “Maybe you could start by telling me what happened.”



Sunnydale, California December 2008

William really didn’t know what he’d been expecting. All he was truly certain of was that he’d gotten it all wrong. He’d moved back to Sunnydale knowing that it would mean that he and Buffy would see each other. He’d absolutely hoped that her seeing him would lead to her forgiving him or maybe thinking that she’d missed him or perhaps even that she needed him in her bed, forever. So he was definitely counting on the -her-seeing-him-around aspect of the plan. Somehow the part where he would have to see her escaped his notice, or at least it escaped his consideration. She was everywhere. He’d only been home a week and since the rather epic failure of first contact on the library steps William had already spotted Buffy around campus and in town an additional four times. Once he’d nodded to her and she’d nodded back. Even at his most hopeful, William knew that wasn’t truly a good sign.

Once again, he was watching her and hoping that she didn’t notice. She looked beautiful. William knew that she always looked wonderful, but felt sure that she was looking especially lovely sitting on the grass in her deep blue dress. Buffy had taken off her cardigan in honor of the unseasonably warm weather and William could see the golden skin of her arms. He ached to touch her. She was sitting with Willow and a man that William didn’t know. They were laughing. He wondered if the man was the reason Buffy had worn lip-gloss. He wondered if she was sleeping with him. The thought alone was nearly enough to send him running back to his new apartment to hide in the dark and berate himself. It took a fortitude that he’d only recently discovered within himself to continue to his new office and finish setting up. He had to give the plan time to work.

Sunnydale, California December 2008

One Week Earlier

“Oh my God, Buffy. Why didn’t you tell me all this when you first came back? How could you hold this all in?” Willow hugged her friend tightly before leaning back to look at her in dismay.

“I don’t know-it just didn’t seem…right. I mean it was personal and not just my personal-you know?”

Willow nodded, but didn’t look convinced.

“I didn’t want to kiss and tell I guess…especially-It was special and I didn’t want to-and maybe I was just way too ashamed of myself.” Hugging Willow’s shoulders tightly, Buffy broke into tears again.

Willow patted her back. “Ashamed because you slept with William?” She asked softly.

“No!” Buffy pulled away and shook her tear-streaked face vehemently. “No. That was…he was…” She didn’t want Willow to have the wrong idea, she absolutely didn’t want to give the impression that there was something wrong with William but she couldn’t really put into words how right it had felt being with William either. Buffy was sure that no one else could have ever made her feel as safe and wonderful. She knew that she shouldn’t have slept with him, that doing so ended up hurting them both, but she didn’t exactly regret it either. She knew him so much better now, she’d never want to give up the closeness that she’d felt with him when they’d been together. Confusion was too simple a word for her feelings.

When she dissolved into tears again, Willow decided that she had finally figured it out. “You’re upset because you hurt him.” Buffy sniffled and nodded against her shoulder. “And because you love him?”

Buffy nodded. “Of course I do. He was my best friend. I’ve loved him forever, just not in the same way as he felt and—”

“Are you sure?” Willow asked carefully. She was pretty certain that she knew the answer. She was far less certain that Buffy knew it.

“What?”

“Do you think—are you maybe a little bit in love with him?”

Buffy looked stunned by the question. “I never—I never thought about him like that—he’s always just been my friend, I mean my best friend and I love him, but—”

Willow nodded understandingly. “But when you were—when you two were—you know, making with the—togetherness in bed and—stuff,” she blushed brightly as she rambled. “Then. How did you see him then?” When Buffy didn’t immediately respond she tried again. “Did you think ‘oh that’s my buddy and I’ll just make with the smoochies and it’ll be fun’ or was it more like ‘whoa, I want to be kissing him because he’s—‘ ”

“Hot.” Buffy blushed hot red as she quietly whispered her answer. “I thought that I had never realized that he was so hot and I wanted to—I really wanted to touch him. A lot.”

Willow smiled, the man they’d just seen was a far cry more attractive than the skinny boy she remembered hanging about at Buffy’s house years earlier. It didn’t surprise her to hear that Buffy noticed and it reinforced her strong suspicion that Buffy had feelings she was intentionally ignoring. She nodded her head encouragingly. “And now?”

Buffy’s eyes widened as her mind filled in all the possible answers to Willow’s question. What did she want now? “I don’t know.” She replied lamely.

Willow shook her head in denial. “Yes, you do. What do you want now?”

“I want…I want William.”

Willow gave her a big grin. “Good, now we’re getting somewhere.”



Sunnydale, California Christmas Day 2008

Buffy stared at her mother in shock. “William’s coming over? Here? Today?”

Joyce laughed lightly and shook her head. “Of course he is. He and Anne have been joining us for Christmas for years. You know that.”

“But—”

“I know the two of you had some kind of tiff when you visited him but don’t you think that’s gone on long enough. I think the holiday is the perfect time to let bygones be bygones. You two were always such good friends; it’s just awful to see you throwing that away.” She shook her head. “Anne and William are practically family.”

Jaw-dropped, Buffy continued to stare at her mother as she walked away. Of course her mother thought it was no big deal, she realized, remembering how she’d gone out of her way to act like nothing of importance had happened and that her early return was mostly due to homesickness. She whimpered quietly. She and Willow were working on a plan to figure out if William was still interested in being with her…in any way at all. She was supposed to have several brief friendly encounters. Planned encounters where she was ready with friendly, but not too friendly, comments that would tell her if he wanted to see her or not. They hadn’t planned out those comments yet. She had no idea what she would say to him. She also, she realized looking down at the jeans and sweater currently covering her body, had no idea what to wear.

Sunnydale , California Christmas Day 2008

Buffy checked her appearance in the mirror for the twelfth time. She looked pale. She’d tried putting on a little blush, but it had looked clownish against her unusually white skin. She’d finally settled on a bare face with only a touch of mascara and lip-gloss. She’d brushed her hair until her scalp hurt and left it falling in waves past her shoulders. William had told her that he liked her hair down. The thought made her both happy and sad, as did most thoughts of William. She wondered if she was being too obvious and scowled at her reflection. She smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of her dress and turned to study her profile. The weight loss was doing nothing for her chest. Still, she supposed that the forest green sweater dress looked nice enough; it didn’t cling too tightly and it was very soft. She’d paired it with ivory colored tights and tall brown boots. She worried that she looked a little too “Christmas in Connecticut”. Her mother had walked by earlier and said that she looked nice in a mildly surprised tone. It concerned her. Somehow her mother’s approval of the outfit made it seem wrong, like her mother couldn’t like the outfit she hoped would catch William’s eye. She was wondering if she had time to change when she heard her mother open the door downstairs and the mingling of greetings as Anne and William came in.

Greeting William and his mother was awkward, but thankfully brief as Joyce and Anne immediately filled the room with joyful chatter about how long it had been since they’d all been together. Buffy couldn’t help but notice how handsome William looked in dark jeans and a walnut brown moleskin sports coat. She spotted a speck of dust on his shoulder and felt her hand start to rise automatically with the urge to brush it off. She forced it back down and blushed.

Seeing a cake in Anne’s hands, Buffy grasped at her chance to escape. She had to call Willow. She held her hands out towards Anne and smiled widely. “Let me take that to the kitchen. It looks seriously yummy.”

“Oh. Thanks dear.” Anne handed her the cake with a smile before turning to hand her waiting son her coat. She smiled as she watched him hang it in the Summers’ closet, unable to keep her thoughts from drifting to one of their first visits with Joyce and Buffy. Her lips twitched with remembered laughter as she thought about the day she and Joyce had found the kids emptying Buffy’s closet with the intent of making it William’s room. He was moving in, they’d announced determinedly. She’d been stung a touch at the time; the last thing a single mother needs is to hear that her son wants to live somewhere else. Still, Anne had always been glad to see that her shy little boy was actually playing with Buffy and he’d looked so stricken when she pointed out that she’d be lonely if he moved out, that the memory held much more joy than sadness.

She noted Buffy’s quick exit and the tension in her son’s shoulders and frowned. It was time to do something about this, she decided, shooting Joyce a determined glance.

Buffy didn’t get a chance to call Willow for her much needed advice. She’d barely slid the cake into their overfilled refrigerator when her mother started calling for her to set the table. She sighed and started gathering the holiday china, cloth napkins and silver. At least, she thought as she carried the things into the dining room, she didn’t send William to help me. She nearly whimpered when she found him waiting in the other room to do just that.

He reached out stiffly to take the load from her hands.

He looked miserable. As much as she wanted to be with him, she couldn’t imagine that his being forced to spend time with her was going to help anything. Buffy bit her lip. “You don’t need to…I mean…I can…”

William lowered his arms and nodded. He turned and walked out without a word.

Buffy gasped. He hadn’t even looked at her. Realizing that her hands were shaking, she quickly put the plates down before she dropped them. He hated her, she thought; he was just too good a person to ignore her entirely or to be flat out rude. No, she knew that he’d try to keep their mothers happy today. But she also couldn’t see how anything that she and Willow had come up with would win him back. He’d wanted to marry her and she hadn’t even been ready to date; a few friendly pop-ups weren’t going to mend the hurt she’d caused. She’d lost him. She’d lost the man she loved before she’d even realized that’s who he was.

William was glad to avoid detection as he made his way to the bathroom. He needed to be alone. He couldn’t let himself crack in front of everybody. He closed and locked the door and slid to the floor. With his head resting on his knees, he practiced the deep breathing his therapist had taught him. Buffy wasn’t ready to forgive him, she didn’t want to see him. He told himself that it wasn’t the end of the world. It felt like it.

He knew that his therapist would remind him that his happiness did not rest on whether or not he won back Buffy, so he tried to imagine what Liam would say instead. Liam wouldn’t give up just because the girl hated him. He just had to stay in the game; that’s what Liam had said: be visible, remind her about what she’s lost. William knew that hiding in the bathroom wasn’t part of the plan. With one last rallying breath, he stood up and brushed off his jeans. He wondered how soon he could leave without disappointing his mother and Joyce.

“Oh there you are.” His mother clutched his arm as soon as his feet hit the bottom step. “Joyce needs help bringing all the food to the table.”

William forced himself to give his mother a smile. “I’m on it.” He walked into the kitchen. “Rumor has it, Miss Joyce, that you have once again cooked far too much. I’d chide you about the extra side dishes but then I would feel even more glutinous when I sample each and every one. Instead, I’m hoping only that you’ll allow me to work up some extra appetite by bringing this all to the table while you go keep my mother company.” He tried to keep his anxiety about Buffy’s reaction to his once again being in the dining room off his face.

Joyce laughed as she placed the pot she was holding back on to the stove. She was thrilled to have William home. He was, in many ways, like a son to her. She reached over, squeezed William’s arm and smiled at the mischief in his eyes. “Joyce is fine, William. I haven’t been your teacher in…well, in more years than I’d like to consider.” It was hardly the first time they’d had the discussion. For years Joyce had assumed that William wouldn’t drop the title out of respect, she suddenly found herself wondering if he’d been teasing her for years.

William nodded solemnly. “Yet you haven’t aged a day—must be why I have such a difficult time remembering.” He winked.

Joyce was startled to find herself blushing. When exactly, she wondered, had the odd but endearing little boy she remembered become this charming man? She wondered if her daughter was wondering the same thing. She suddenly had a lot more questions about Buffy’s time in England. “Just let me put everything into serving dishes and then I’ll be glad to have the help of a strong man to do the carrying.”

He shooed her and shook his head. “I’m sure I can remember where the dishes are. Please go gossip with my mother,” he leaned in conspiratorially, “I believe she mentioned an intriguing new gentleman working with her at the library, perhaps you can find out if I’ll be needing to have a conversation with him regarding the wonderful woman that is my mother and how she should be treated.” He watched as Joyce’s eyes widened in surprise and knew that she would be allowing him to handle the rest of dinner. He felt only a little guilty for suggesting that there might be something between his mother and her new co-worker when he knew that his mother was hoping to set up Joyce herself with the man in question.

Glad to have a task to busy himself with, William quickly transferred the food that Joyce had prepared into serving dishes and then began to transfer them to the dining room. He noted Buffy’s surprise when he first entered, but didn’t say anything to her. It took a few trips, even with Buffy’s silent help, but soon everything was on the table. He swallowed hard and looked up at the girl he loved. His voice was low. “Will you tell them it’s ready?”

Buffy was startled. “Oh. Yes, I can…” There was no need for her to finish, as soon as he finished asking her to make the announcement, William headed back into the kitchen. Buffy shook her head. Things were not going well.

Both Buffy and William were relieved that their mothers kept up a steady stream of happy conversation throughout dinner. All that was required of them was the obvious compliments to the chef and to answer a few requisite questions about school and work.

Buffy listened intently when William told Joyce that he was settling in well and looking forward to the start of the new semester. No, he told her, he didn’t suppose that university in the United States would be too different from university in England. “Students are students”, he said. He didn’t say anything about wanting to be with one student in particular, but Buffy really didn’t expect him to. Sitting so close to him without being able to hug him and share smiles over their private jokes was killing her. She decided that it was the worst Christmas that she’d ever had and then realized that, if she couldn’t get William to forgive her, she might never have a truly good one again.

After that she focused only on keeping a smile on her face as her thoughts drifted about. They didn’t get to drift for long.

“Oh, Joyce, surely you remember when we found our Buffy and William sleeping together?”

Buffy nearly choked. She looked up quickly to find a similar expression of horror on William’s face. For just a second they were once again able to read each other’s mind. Her heart would have soared if it wasn’t trapped in her stomach.

They knew?Her mind reeled. They knew and they waited until Christmas to say something?

“Pardon?” William barely gasped out the question. He couldn’t even look in Joyce’s direction. Oh God! Surely Buffy didn’t tell her mother.

Anne laughed as she took in Buffy and William’s stunned faces. “You two don’t remember? No, I suppose you wouldn’t; you were quite young at the time.” She squinted slightly as she tried to remember the details. She was quite sure that a little trip down memory lane would put an end to whatever foolishness had come between her little boy and his girl. “William, I think that you were seven.”

Seven? It took Buffy a minute to realize that her world wasn’t crashing down around her. No, she decided with an ironic sense of relief, she was only in for an embarrassing story.

Joyce spoke up. “Yeah, Buffy was only about five. I had that trip to Los Angeles for the gallery.” She laughed. “Horrible trip, it must have been 102 the whole week.”

“So Buffy was staying with us for a few days.” Anne filled in.

“Only you both had school so…”

“We didn’t want you two up all night chatting. So we vetoed the sleeping bags and Buffy was sleeping in your room, William, and you were supposed to be sleeping on the couch.”

Both women started laughing again and Buffy chanced a look at William. He looked like he was struggling to remember the story just as much as she was. She hoped that he was; she hoped that he wasn’t struggling to forget. She knew that he might not even want to remember ever loving her.

“I know you were both asleep when I went to bed, but at some point in the middle of the night William must have gotten up and gotten confused or perhaps just a little sneaky. All I know is that when I went to wake you up in the morning I found you both curled up like kittens on William’s bed.”

Joyce nodded. “It was always impossible to actually keep you two separated.”

Buffy fought back a groan and wondered if her mother thought that she was being subtle.

“I wonder where that picture has gotten to?” Anne wondered out loud. “William looked so sweet wearing nothing but his little Superman underpants.”

William stared at his mother in horror. “My Superman…” He shook his head and squared his shoulders. “This hardly seems like an appropriate discussion for Christmas Dinner.”

Buffy couldn’t hold back her giggle.

His mother only laughed. “Oh, don’t be a baby. Buffy wasn’t any better dressed. Days of week I believe.”

It was Buffy’s turn to stare at Anne red faced.

William laughed. “Wrong day, no doubt. Always had the wrong day.”

His words drew surprised looks from all three women.

He blushed and stuttered as he realized what he’d just announced to the table. Brilliant, he thought, you just gave Buffy even further reason to think that you are a freak; now she believes that you regularly checked out her underpants as a preschooler.“I I mean…just…Buffy used to have such a difficult time remembering…so she probably…” He looked down at the table for a moment. “Joyce, I don’t believe I’ve told you how much I enjoy your potatoes.”

Joyce laughed and the conversation edged away from stories featuring undergarments.

An hour later, stuffed with dinner and dessert, the four were settled in the living room and nearly through exchanging gifts when William, package in hand, stood up and walked determinedly towards Buffy. He thrust the brightly wrapped box on to her lap.

Buffy looked up at him, stunned. “For…” She carefully unwrapped and opened the box to reveal a bright pink laptop bag. She smiled down at it as she tried to hide the tears in her eyes. She didn’t know what to make of it, even if he’d only given it to her to please his mother or her own, he had obviously chosen it with her in mind. The color was her favorite and unerringly cheerful. She fingered the high-tech material that made the bag both strong and lightweight.

“Your mother mentioned that she was giving you a laptop for your studies. I thought…if you don’t like it…”

She looked up quickly. “Oh, but I do. I…thank you. It’s perfect.” She hugged the bag to her chest wishing only that she could hug him instead.

William smiled softly and nodded before starting to turn away.

“Wait! I…I haven’t given you your present yet.” She blushed and ducked her head in an uncharacteristically shy move. “I just have to…” She stood up and walked over to the Christmas Tree, where she had tucked his present in a hard to see spot. She hadn’t decided until that very moment if she would give it to him or not. When she’d bought it, she’d thought that she would leave it in front of his office with a note. Notes were less scary; if he rejected her note then she wouldn’t have to watch. She pulled it out and pressed it into his hands. Worrying her lip, she watched him carefully unwrap his gift. He’d barely pulled the paper aside when she started explaining. “It’s a planner. You know for lesson plans and stuff and you can get refills for the inside part so you can keep the cover.”

William was studying the smooth dark brown leather cover in surprise. She’d had it embossed ‘W. Pratt.’. It was handsome and practical, the kind of thing he could use every day for years; he wondered if she had any idea how much he’d like carrying something she had given him through all the struggles of his first few days at UC Sunnydale. He wondered why she had selected something so nice for him when she didn’t even want to speak with him.

“You don’t like it?” She asked quietly.

When he brought his eyes to hers, his expression was intense. “Of course I like it. I Love it.”

They stared at each other silently for a moment before the sound of Anne’s laughing brought them back to Earth.

They separated awkwardly and sat back down on their perspective sides of the living room to listen to their mothers chat about favorite holiday songs and the perfectness of the Joyce’s Christmas tree.

Eventually, the talk turned to New Year’s Eve plans and the planned gathering at Anne’s home.

“Of course, I understand perfectly if you kids have plans of your own.” Anne said in an innocent tone.

Buffy laughed. “Actually, Oz is playing that night at the Bronze. Willow and I are supposed to go be groupies.”

William frowned. “Oz? Is that a band?”

“No. Oz is the bassist for Dingoes Ate My Baby…which is a band.” She giggled.

William remembered the boy he’d seen Buffy sitting with on the grass; he’d certainly looked like he might be a musician. He became increasingly certain that Buffy was involved with him. He hoped that he could make it home before he threw up his Christmas dinner.

“Oh. William, you should go with them! You’ll have much more fun with them than with the stuffy old crowd at my party.”

William saw the look of surprise that crossed Buffy’s face at his mother’s suggestion. She didn’t so much look as though the idea bothered her as though it had never occurred to her. Why, he wondered, would it? He couldn’t imagine a more horrible way to spend an evening than watching Buffy and her new boyfriend. “I don’t think so. I really have a lot to do to get ready for the start of classes.”

Buffy frowned. She’d thought that they had shared a moment after she’d given him the gift, but he still didn’t seem to want to spend time with her. “Are you sure? I mean Dingoes is pretty good or maybe they’re just loud, but either way it could be fun.”

William was certain that she was only being polite. “That’s all right. I think I’ll have to give it a pass this time.”

He wasn’t even looking at her. Buffy sighed; she needed to get away for a moment. “I think I need a glass of eggnog. Anyone else?”

Joyce and Anne, still uncomfortably full from dinner, laughed at the idea of consuming anything else in the foreseeable future and joked at the unfairness of Buffy’s metabolism. William simply shook his head.

Buffy hurried in to the kitchen and sat down. She just needed to think, she decided, there had to be something that she could do. She couldn’t just give up.

She was startled a few moments later by William’s presence.

“I’m leaving.” He said quietly. “Heading home. I just…wanted to say merry Christmas.”

Buffy stood up quickly and wrung her hands with nerves. She couldn’t see his eyes; they were focused on the ground as though he wasn’t really speaking to anyone in particular. She crossed the distance between them with a few rapid steps until she stood so close that he had no choice but to meet her gaze. “Merry Christmas.” She gave him a smile and waited a second in hopes that he would return it. He didn’t. His expression was almost neutral, though she could see the turmoil in his eyes. She knew that his emotions were mixed but she couldn’t tell if there was still any love in that mix. She rose onto her toes and leaned close to give him a chaste kiss on his cheek. She felt the inevitable wave of desire hit her at his nearness, but ignored it. “Welcome home, Will.”

He smiled then, but sadly. It didn’t feel like was home at all.

She sighed audibly. “I am sorry, you know.” She whispered, wishing that he could give her another chance.

Unable to bear the thought of hearing Buffy explain that she just didn’t love him even one more time, William nodded once before turning to leave. He paused in the doorway, his back to her, to answer. “I am too.”

Sunnydale, California, January 2009

William heard his office door open and looked up in surprise. The semester had only just begun so he wasn’t expecting any students to drop by seeking help yet and he knew that the department head had already gone home for the afternoon. He’d anticipated several hours of solitude as he got his plans set for the semester. His eyes widened when he saw her. “Buffy?”

He stood up quickly but didn’t walk towards her. His hands fiddled with the edge of his desk. He hadn’t seen her since Christmas. It had only been a week really, but it felt longer. “Did you…” He looked at her quizzically, not knowing what he wanted to ask. Why was she there? Did she need something? Had she had a good time with her boyfriend on New Year’s Eve? Had she forgiven him yet? Could she ever love him? He tilted his head to the side and waited silently.

Buffy gave him a tentative smile. He didn’t look very happy to see her, but he didn’t look unhappy either. He looked surprised, she decided, and wished he could give her a less ambiguous sign. “I picked a major. I mean I think I have. I went to see my advisor and she thinks it’s a good fit and I did really well in my education class and I’ve been working with this little boy. He’s so sweet and I think that’s it.” She saw the increased confusion on his face and realized that she was rambling. “I want to teach and I’m thinking about special education. Elementary Special Needs.”

William blinked. Twice. She’d come to talk to him about school. “I…”

“I know it sounds crazy. I mean, I was never really into school, you know that, and now I want to be a teacher, but…”

He shook his head and laughed softly. “It doesn’t sound crazy at all; it sounds perfect.” And it did, he realized, he’d never thought about it, but it was obvious now that she’d said it. She’d always had a soft spot for quirky kids and she’d be bored sick at a desk job; he had no trouble imagining her working with kids and he knew that her difficulty with school had never been an intelligence issue. “You’re mother must be thrilled.”

Buffy blushed and shrugged. “I haven’t told her. I just—I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, but I really just decided this afternoon, so you’re the first person I--I even changed one of my classes.” She held up her add-drop slip. “I mean I’ll have missed the first meeting which is probably asking for disaster but…”

William chuckled and walked towards her. “You’ll do fine. Better than. I’m certain.” He reached out to pull her in for a quick and tentative hug. “You will make a brilliant teacher. You’re kind and clever and you certainly had a lot of practice putting up with me.”

Buffy exhaled in relief. “You really think so?”

He nodded. “I’m certain.”

Buffy laughed. “Good. I mean, I’m certain too.” She lifted up her chin and jokingly adopted a very confident pose. She had been giving her future career a lot of thought. It was important to have a plan, to know what she wanted. But she’d realized something else that was even more important. It didn’t matter. She’d thought that not knowing what she wanted to be when she “grew up” meant that she couldn’t be sure that wanted to be with Will. It had been her first thought when he’d pulled out the ring. She’d panicked. All she’d been able to think was that she didn’t even know what she wanted to be. She realized now that that was ridiculous. All she really needed to know was that she wanted to be with him. She did.

He laughed with her as his head reeled. She had come to tell him first! He knew that it was probably just because he was close, but still, he thought, she could have called her mom or went to find Willow or her new boyfriend. The thought of Buffy’s new man was deflating, but still he thought, she’d come to see him. He couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful. “So…did you have a nice New Year’s Eve?”

Buffy shrugged. “It was fun, I guess. I mean no one likes to feel all third wheely.”

William nodded. “Willow.”

“Yeah, I mean they’re great and I’m really happy for them, but hanging with Willow and Oz can be a little…” She trailed off and shrugged.

William’s jaw dropped. “Willow’s dating Oz?”

She nodded. “Yup.” She grinned. “Odd couple, right? Only they really aren’t. I know Oz seems a little wild with the hair and the band, but he is a total sweetheart and he’s actually really smart like Willow, so they can have their deep philosophy chats.”

“Oh.”

“You should have come.” She added softly.

William nodded. “Yeah, I should have. I spent most of the evening feeling too pathetic about working on New Year’s Eve to actually get any work done.”

Buffy smiled at his self-deprecating head shake. “Maybe another time?” She shook as she said the words and worried that she was pushing too hard. He seemed to be warming, but she was still far less than sure that he actually wanted to spend time with her.

William nodded and tried to keep too much eagerness from showing in his eyes He was working himself up the courage to ask when that next time might be when her phone rang. The chipper tune startled them both and they laughed nervously as Buffy dug around in her bag and pulled it out.

“Hey Willow…ohmygod-no, I totally forgot. I’m sorry, I’ll be right there. We’ll make it.” She glanced at the time on William’s clock and grimaced. “I’ll run.” She hung up and gave William an apologetic smile. “I was hoping to hear about your first few days, but I promised Willow I’d go see this movie with her two weeks ago and it starts in like twenty minutes…”

“Another time.” William smiled as Buffy nodded, grinned and then literally ran out of his office.

Sunnydale, California January 2009

Buffy took a deep breath. It was no big deal. She was just going to invite him to a picnic. Picnic said friendly and maybe a little more, but only if you were looking for more. She smoothed the skirt of her dress and stepped into the doorway of William’s office. She smiled. He was facing away, looking out the window while talking on the phone. It gave her a minute to enjoy being near him without his knowing it or seeing her dippy grin. She took that quick minute and then stepped back from the door to wait for him to finish his conversation.

She heard William chuckle deeply. “Yes, love. I promise to pick up my tux before the stag night.”

Buffy frowned and tried to figure out why William needed to pick up a tux and what the hell a stag night was. She knew that she shouldn’t be listening, but she couldn’t help overhearing him, he wasn’t exactly being quiet. Of course, she reminded herself guiltily, he doesn’t know that someone is standing outside his office listening either.

“I’ll be at the church on-time. Yes….Wild horses couldn’t hold me back.” He laughed again. “you’ll look lovely…no…prettiest bride in all the country…yes, sexy too…obviously…you too, love. I’ll see you soon.”

Buffy muffled her gasp with her own hand as she realized why William needed a tux; he was getting married. She heard him place the phone back on his desk and ran.


William sighed as he pulled in to the driveway at Buffy’s childhood home. Even knowing that she no longer really lived there didn’t make it any easier to go in. There were simply too many memories for him to enter and remain unscathed. There was no helping it though. He’d told Joyce that he’d stop by while she was out of town. He was going to pull in the mail and water the plants. It wasn’t a big deal, it would take ten minutes and it was far easier for him to do than it would be for Buffy, who lived across town and didn’t drive. He just had to suck it up. He got out of the car and marched himself over to the kitchen-side door.

It was unlocked. He frowned and opened it slowly. “Hello,” he called out carefully as he stepped in. There was no car in the drive, but it was unusual for Joyce to forget to lock the doors.

He gave the kitchen a quick glance as he walked towards the living room. Nothing seemed to be out of place. He was about to call out again when he heard the crying.

He walked quickly toward the sound. “Buffy?” He was shocked to find her curled up in a ball on the couch sobbing. She looked equally shocked to see him. “Love, what’s wrong.”

Her tear-filled eyes widened and she shook her head. “I—I can’t. What are you doing here?”

William sighed as he sat down beside her and fought the urge to simply pull her on to his lap. “Please, pet. I know we’re not—I know we haven’t been as—close, but you must know I’d do anything for you. Tell me what’s wrong and let’s see if I can help, yeah?” He placed a single tentative hand on her shoulder.

Buffy’s head spun. She couldn’t believe that he was sitting in front of her. She had no idea what to say. It was all her fault; she’d waited too long and now she’d lost him. Seeing him sitting there, his face full of concern, only made it all more real to her. Her eyes dropped to his mouth and she realized that she’d never get to kiss him again. Her stomach churned and without even making the conscious decision to do so, she clasped her hands around his face and dragged his lips to hers.

She poured herself into the kiss. Every word she should have said, every moment that she knew they now would never get to share, the life that she had given up before she’d even realized she needed it; she thought about it all and kissed him with a near frantic desperation.

William was almost knocked down when she launched herself at him. He quickly grasped her waist as he tried to steady both of their positions on the couch. He was nearly too surprised to kiss back, nearly too stunned by the taste of her and the feel of her in his arms to even wonder what it meant. Then, as quickly as she’d started it, Buffy ended it and William was left dazed and breathless.

She pulled herself off of him and with a quick shake of her head and a sobbing “I’m sorry. I’m so--” She turned and ran up the stairs to her old room.

“Sorry?” William shook his head and tried to clear the fog. He couldn’t believe that he’d heard her right; she was sorry? “Bollocks!” His temper drove him up the stairs after her. He quickly shot out his hand to stop her from closing her door.

She looked up at him with wide eyes and he struggled to keep his voice calm. “What. The hell. Was that?”

“I—I—”

He shook his head. His heart raced. “You kissed me! And now you’re sorry?” He trembled with the effort to keep his emotions in check. Why was she sorry? Why had she kissed him if she didn’t want to? Why, he asked himself, had she kissed the bloody hell out of him if she didn’t want to?

She’d hurt him, again. Buffy couldn’t believe she’d done it and she knew that she’d never be able to forgive herself. Her eyes watered as she saw the pain on his face and the anger flashing in his eyes. But she was angry too; he’d kissed her back and she wasn’t the one about to promise to love someone else above all others. She held up her chin. “You—you kissed me back!”

“You know how I feel about you.” His jaw clenched.

“ And I—I know you’re getting married.”

William couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d called him an astronaut. “I’m what?”

“Getting married! I heard you. I went by your office and I heard you on the phone. I didn’t mean to—I was just going to wait outside until you got off and then see—see if you wanted to—I was going to ask you to--” She couldn’t finish. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth and tried desperately to hold back the tears until he left. Surely, she thought, he’ll leave in a second and let me wallow in my misery alone.

William stared at her, mouth open in surprise, for several seconds. “Getting—I’m getting—” His face broke into a big grin and he laughed. “You heard—” Once he started, he couldn’t stop. He laughed until his stomach hurt and there were tears in his eyes.

Buffy stared at him bewilderedly. “Will!”

Brushing aside the tears, he shook his head. “I’m not getting married, love.”

“But I heard you, on the phone, I heard—”

“Liam. I’m his best mate—gonna stand up with him. Liam’s getting married.”

Buffy’s eyes grew wide as a small spark of hope fluttered around in her stomach. “Liam?” She arched an eyebrow in skepticism. “Liam’s getting—” She gasped. “The girl—the waitress from the pub—it’s her isn’t it?”

He nodded and grinned. “How did you…”

“There was just something—I mean she was clearly trying too hard to prove that she wasn’t interested and the way he would watch her.” She shrugged before growing quiet and biting her lip. “So you’re not…” She twisted her hands together and looked at the floor between them. She wanted to throw herself in his arms. She wanted to kiss him and rip off his clothes and beg him to never be more than five feet away from her for the rest of their lives. She couldn’t. Shock and desperation had pushed her to kiss him moments earlier, but the terror of possible rejection had crept back in. He’d kissed her back, she was sure of it and she held fast to that kernel of hope.

William shook his head slowly before stepping towards her. He reached out and pulled her hand up between their faces. “Not until there’s a ring on this hand.”

Buffy stared at her hand. “You’re waiting.” She whispered the realization as much to herself as to him. She was too amazed to simply feel happy. She thought that she might cry, but didn’t really want to be the kind of girl that cried when she was happy.

“I am.” He answered just as quietly before reaching down to tilt her chin up so that she’d have to meet his gaze. “You were coming to see me.” He knew that the kiss could have been a panic moment; her planning to visit him seemed more promising. His heart was in his throat, but he had to find out. William let his glance travel with a slow deliberateness over her body, smiling as she trembled under his scrutiny. He knew that he could make her want him; that really wasn’t the question. He needed to know if she was ready to want him. He paused in consideration of the simple grey halter dress she was wearing and smirked. It really wasn’t friendly visit attire. “You were coming to see me in this dress?”

“I—” She looked down at her now slightly wrinkled but otherwise nice dress and frowned. “What’s wrong with my dress?”

He gave a deep throaty chuckle. “Oh, kitten, there’s nothing wrong with this dress.” He inched closer, brushed his hand up the bare skin on her back and watched as she shivered. “In fact, this might be the very best dress I’ve ever seen and you wore it…” He brought his hand to her waist and slid it up her towards her collarbone, swallowing hard as his thumb grazed the soft side of her breast. He froze and looked her in the eye. “No bra?” His voice was hoarse. “So the plan was to drive me crazy then, yeah?”

Buffy blushed. “I just—I wanted to look nice.”

“For me?”

She nodded and, in an effort to steady herself against the tremors running through her body at his touch, brought her hand up to clasp his arm.

William gripped her waist and lifted her up to sit on the dresser. He stepped between her knees and brought his lips close to her ear. “You wanted to ask me something? That’s why you came by?”

His hot breath against her neck made her whimper. “Will.”

“Did you need help with a paper, maybe?”

“No. Will—”

“Or maybe some math tutoring? Did you need a spotter for a new trampoline record?”

“Will!” She giggled then sniffled.

“What were you going to ask me, pet?”

Buffy groaned. “A picnic.” She blurted out before he could do anything else that would make it impossible for her to speak. “I just wanted to invite you on a picnic.”

William laughed softly. “A picnic.”

She nodded.

“I do enjoy a good picnic. Was it going to be a...picnic…date?”

“No. I mean—I was just going to see if you wanted to come on a picnic. I wasn’t going to call it a date. I just--” She brought her hand up to her mouth as a sob wrenched her body. “I thought that—I thought that I’d lost you.”

He frowned. His head tilted to side and he studied her. “Was it a good-bye kiss then?”

“What! No. I mean…” With a small groan of frustration, she reached out and pulled his mouth to hers.

William quickly stepped closer, deepening the kiss and moaning as her legs came to wrap around his waist. After a moment he pulled back and grinned. “Does that mean you want the picnic to be a date after all?” He reached up to tuck a stray her hair behind her ear and then wiped a tear from her cheek.

Buffy sniffled. “You’re teasing me.” Her lip jutted out in a pout.

He laughed. “I’m teasing you?” His eyebrows arched high across his forehead as he pointedly fingered the halter-strap of her dress.

“Wasn’t trying to tease you.” She blushed again.

“Oh. So, it was an offer.” He grinned and leaned close. “In that case...” He kissed the skin just below her earlobe. “I just need to know the terms of the offer.”

She giggled and pushed him away. “Will, can you be serious for a minute?”

His stomach churned. “I am serious, Buffy. Whatever you’re offering—I accept. You have to know that by now. ” He shrugged. “I’ll do anything for you. You want a friend, a lover…” He shook his head. “A tutor—you know you’ve got it. Just—please, pet—tell me what you want.”

Buffy’s lip quivered. “You. I just want you. I just—I want to be your girl.”

William couldn’t hold back his grin as he pulled her into a tight hug. “You already are my girl, Buffy. You’ve always been my girl. You just forgot for a bit, yeah?” He cupped her face in his hands and ducked close for a hard, possessive kiss.

Buffy clung to William’s shoulders tightly, moaning when she felt him press his body tightly against hers. It wasn’t possible to be close enough. She shivered though it felt like her skin was on fire. She pulled away and spoke in breathless pants. “God, Will. I missed you so much.”

“Missed this?” He pressed himself against her meaningfully.

She whimpered but shook her head. “No—not just—I missed you. All of you.”

“Missed you too, love—wanted to tell you all about my plans and how strange it was being home—God, Buffy, It didn’t even feel like home.” He buried his face against her neck and inhaled. She smelled like oranges and he wondered if she was using a new kind of soap. He wondered about everything he’d missed. “Smell so good.”

She shuddered as he ran his hands up her back and pulled at the front of his shirt. “Off.”

He chuckled at her one-word command but complied, quickly removing his jacket and shirt and tossing them on a nearby chair.

Buffy ran her hands over his chest, slowly relearning his shape and feel. She knew from the way his muscles trembled beneath her fingertips and from the sounds of his quick inhale that he was enjoying her touch, but she couldn’t drag her eyes away to watch his expression.
Enjoying the look of awe on her face, William held himself still until she started to trace her fingers along his belt buckle. “Hey.” He took her hands in his. “Are you sure about this? We don’t have to—”

“I want to be with you, William. No one makes me feel like you do.”

William smiled, then froze. He struggled to keep his tone neutral as he fingered the side of her dress. “You let a few try, then?” He kept his eyes trained on her shoulder and swallowed hard. It doesn’t matter, he thought, she’s choosing you. The sick pit in his stomach disagreed. The thought of her with another man tore him apart inside.

Buffy noticed the sudden tension in his frame and guessed easily enough at its cause. Under other circumstance she’d have been tempted to play with him a bit, pretend to misunderstand or give a vague answer and let him dangle some, after all he certainly hadn’t saved himself for her. These weren’t those circumstances. She gently cupped his cheek in her hand. “No one’s gotten more than a dull goodnight kiss. You’re the only one I could ever—”

He didn’t let her finish. He’d heard enough to make his heart soar for a lifetime. He pulled her close and, sliding his hands under her ass, lifted off the dresser. Seconds later he dropped her on the bed and crawled up to meet her.

He slid his hand up her leg, pushing her skirt up to her hip and kissed her thigh. She shivered. Pushing her skirt up a little higher, he pressed his thumbs beneath the strings on the sides of her brief panties and quickly tugged them off.

William moved to drop more kisses on her inner thigh, but she tugged him upwards. “Later.”

He smirked. “Yeah?”

Buffy smiled at the cocky look on his face, it was the same expression that had made her feel like he was a different person the first time she’d seen it. His confidence had thrown her, she remembered worrying during those first couple of days of her visit that she’d lost her best friend. She knew better now. He’d grown up, but he was still her Will. “Yeah,” she echoed. She pulled his face close to hers and kissed his cheeks.

William gave her a slightly dazed smile. “I love you.” His expression grew serious as he watched for her response. He hadn’t meant to press the issue, but there it was. He needed to know.

She smiled and brushed her fingers across his temple. The emotion she saw in his eyes made her tremble. “I love you too, Will.” She swallowed and her voice trembled. “I love you so much.”

She felt his smile even as he kissed her.

Dropping his forehead to hers he froze for a second. “You’re sure about this? Because…”

“Make love to me, Will. With me. Make love with me.” Buffy realized that she was prepared to beg if necessary. Her body arched towards his of its own accord and she slid her hands down his back roughly. Her thumbs found the waistband of his pants and she pushed. “Please.”

Her words made him soar. They were the perfect words. They were the exact words he’d always dreamed of hearing. His heart jumped to his throat. He swallowed hard, but still couldn’t speak. He gave her a little smile as he dealt with his zipper. He didn’t bother removing his pants or even his shoes. The reality was better than any of his fantasies. He pressed into her slowly, but fully. His eyes never left hers.

An hour later they were still curled up on top of her blankets. Buffy had her head resting on his chest and her arm thrown across his waist. She slid her leg over one of his and grinned tiredly but triumphantly; he was pinned.

William reached down to brush her hair away from her forehead. “I don’t suppose you’d like to be my date for Liam’s wedding…”

Buffy gave him a light, playful punch in the arm. “You’d better believe I would, mister. Like I’m going to let you leave the country without me.” She shook her head. “Last time it took you years to come home.”

William smiled broadly. “It won’t happen again.” Buffy groaned and he frowned. “What’s wrong, love?”

“We’re going to have to tell our moms.” She pushed herself up so that she sat astride his thighs and shook her head in exaggerated dismay. “Awkward.”

He laughed fully. “I’m pretty sure they know.”

Her eyes widened comically. “What?”

“All that nonsense at Christmas about us playing about in our pants—they must know.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I hid my feelings when we were younger. I told my mum dozens of times that you were going to be my wife.”

Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Because you thought we were engaged.” She saw the shadow of hurt pass through his eyes and regretted her teasing immediately. “Will, I…”

“No worries. It’s not a thing.”

She leaned down to kiss him. “You were right though; I was always your girl. I didn’t know the words for it or what it meant, but I always knew that you were my Will and I was your Buffy.” She blinked back a couple of tears. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I’m sorry that…”

William reached up to cup her face with his palm. “Hey. No more sorrys. It’s done and passed. You’re my girl; that’s all that matters to me.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Maybe just try not to forget it this time.”

Buffy laughed. “I won’t. I promise.”

The End.