Chapter 1: Wake Up

Her eyes opened slowly as she felt the constant jarring of the bed. She smiled when she noticed her husband playfully tossing their daughter in the air before catching her again. The giggles Deanna let out freely, made Buffy’s heart swell with happiness. This was her life…her amazing life that she would do anything to keep the way it was.

“Morning mommy!” Deanna squealed out as her daddy started to tickle her.

“Morning baby girl.” She gave her daughter a kissed on the forehead. “Morning honey.” She gave her husband a lasting kiss on the lips.

“Ohh, it feels good to wake up and not go to work today.” Buffy cooed, as she stretched out and sat up in bed along with her husband.

“I know, you’re lucky…I gotta get going in an hour and a half.” He sighed, settling Deanna on his lap. “Maybe I should just call in sick…take a day with my girls, huh?” he said directing the last part to his daughter squeezing her to him.

“As much as we’d both love that, Angel you need to go to work today. You got that big case remember?” Buffy reminded, playfully twisting the hairs at the back of his neck.

“Yeah I know…you two enjoy your day off. I’m gonna start getting ready.” Angel kissed both of his girls then headed to the bathroom for a shower.

* * * * * *

Both Buffy and Deanna walked angel to the door with an ‘I love you’ and a kiss. Closing the door behind him Buffy turned to her little girl. “So, Pumpkin…we got the whole day to do whatever you want.”

“The park!” she exclaimed as if that was the only option.

“The park it is then.” The blonde laughed.


Buffy watched as her daughter played around on the swings and the monkey bars, all with a big smile on her cute pixie face. Her hair was a honey blonde like her mother’s; which was odd because of Angel’s dominate brunette gene. Her eyes were a sparkling greenish blue, which she assumed was from her father. When she though about it Deanna didn’t look much like her father at all. But she definitely had his personality. She was always laughing, and doing things to make others laugh. She knew exactly which buttons to push to get what she wanted from Buffy too…Angel had to have taught her that.

Buffy let her thoughts wander to the day she met Angel. It was about six years ago and Buffy had just turned twenty-two. She had taken law as her minor in University and the professor took the class to the court to sit in on a hearing. She was mesmerized at the way he debated against the opposing lawyer; using every bit of detail he knew to convince the judge and jury of the innocence of his client. He won.

She had stayed behind as the courtroom cleared out, and watched, as he was the only one to stay behind.

Buffy approached him quietly, making her way from the back chairs to the front desk that he stood beside.

“Congratulations on the win Mr. O’Connor. That was amazing, really. I could almost watch it again.” She joked, and blushed went he grinned at her.

“Thank you…but I’m pretty relieved that it’s over. And you are?” he quested holding out his hand to her.

“Oh! Buffy Summers…I came with Professor Camebry’s class…” she glanced around. “Which is not here anymore.” They laughed.

“I’m Angel. I was told you guys would be sitting in today. I hope you all got what you needed from it.” They both started heading down the aisle towards the wooden double doors.

“Oh for sure. It was definitely intriguing, worth missing two hours of the written work.” Buffy commented as he led her to the lobby.

“Well, not every case is that interesting…some are over in a about ten minutes.” Angel leaned towards her and whispered in her ear. “I’ve caught the Judge almost nodding off once.”

“No way! Really?” Buffy exclaimed.

The two walked out the front doors together and Angel offered her a ride back to the school, since she had missed the ride with the rest of the students. She gave him her number…and he called.


Buffy knew then that he was the one that was going to stick around for good. Buffy hadn’t dated much when she was younger, a total of two times before Angel. Riley and him. Him wasn’t a name she liked to use, because it brought back waaay too many feelings that Buffy tried for months to get rid of. A high school sweetheart I guess you could say that lasted from her grade nine year to her second year of Uni. But he left…moved back to England and left her behind. He had his reasons and she understood that but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

And there it was…his name clear in her mine. William. Spike. The first man to ever hold her heart. And she smiled…He went from best friend, to boyfriend, to her love. And although her love for him had simmered down, it had yet to die. She would always remember him, but she had moved on with her life, and the chances of ever seeing him again were very, very slim.

She was broken out of her reverie when she didn’t see Deanna on the playground anymore. She stood up in alarm, and raced towards the area she last saw her.

“DEANNA!” she screamed, desperation in her voice. “DEANNA…where are you?!” she quieted for a second hoping for a response. Nothing. “DEANNA!” tears were now streaming down her cheeks, as she frantically searched for her little girl.

The wind blew about her hair, as she ran up to every person around that area. “Have you seen a little girl, she’s four…” people shook their heads before she could even finish so she huffed in frustration and continued to ask and search for Deanna.

She found herself standing in the middle of the playground looking around in sporadic, and panicked circles. Her head was starting to dizzy, and she felt her heartbeat quicken. Her eyes closed, and she blacked out before her body hit the ground.

Chapter 2: How Could This Happen?


“Hey…are you okay ma’am?” she heard the voice from over her, and Buffy slowly let her eyes open.

“Wha…” her fuzzy mind couldn’t grasp what was happening around her.

“You passed out in the middle of the playground. Are you okay?” the young man asked timidly.

Buffy sat up suddenly despite the dizzy spell she was having. “Deanna! I need to find her…my little girl, she’s not-she was on the play ground and now-” she tried to explain to the man I front of her.

“Okay, okay…we’ll look for her right now. What does she look like?” he asked trying to be as patient as possible with this fragile woman.

“My Deanna…my baby girl. Where did she go?” she rambled on, in a child-like voice. “She’s gone…where did she go?” she continued.

“Okay…” he decided to try a different tactic. “Is there someone I can call for you? Your husband…a friend?”

“Angel…my h-husband.” She sobbed out pulling out her cell phone. She dialed the number as she sobbed harder, dreading telling her husband what she did. “I can’t tell him…I c-can’t do it.” She thrust the phone into the man’s hands and he took it from her listening to it ring.

“O’Connor.” The professional voice sounded from the other end.

“Um, Mr. O’Connor…I have your wife with me right now. She seemed to have fainted at the park.” The young man tried hard to stay calm as he could when his nerves were jumping everywhere.

“Is she okay? Is she hurt?” Angel asked frantically, already grabbing his coat and keys to go and get her.

“Physically no. But emotionally…” he trailed off.

“Let me speak to her.” He heard a ruffle, and then heard his wife’s sniffles. “Baby…Buffy? Are you okay what happened?”

“She’s gone, Angel.” She said quietly.

“What?” All the air escaped him.

“Deanna’s gone.” She started to sob harder. “I lost her Angel…I tried to find her I did-”

“I’m coming down there, don’t move.” He ordered.

* * * * * *

By the time Angel had gotten down to the park, the young man, who Buffy found out went by the name of Devon, had seated her on a bench, found some water for her to drink and watched over her while she slowly slipped into a catatonic state.

“Buffy!” Angel ran towards her and fell to his knees in front of her. He ran his hand down the side of her face to get her attention, for she still had that far away look in her eyes. “Baby, look at me.” She didn’t move. Angel turned to the guy beside him. “Thanks for staying with her, man…I really appreciate it.” Angel shook the man’s hand with gratitude.

“Don’t worry about it. I hope she gets better.” Devon walked away glancing back every once in a while.

“Buffy…” Angel tried again. This time she looked up at him with a snail-like pace. “Where’s Deanna?”

He noticed her bottom lip tremble before she shrugged hopelessly. He sighed with a heavy heart, but struggled to stay together for Buffy’s sake. He was about to speak when Buffy grabbed him by the shoulders.

“I tried to find her Angel…its all my fault I lost our daughter! I lost her Angel! She’s gone because I fucked up! I fucked up so bad…I’m soo sorry, Angel. I’m so so sorry!” she collapsed onto him and he pulled her up into his arms and carried her to the car.

Angel patrolled the area over and over again with the car, and called the police as soon as Buffy calmed down enough. They put out an Amber Alert for Deanna and they had half the precinct looking for her. Angel knew the Sergeant at the Sunnydale Station personally and he made sure that his friend’s daughter was the top priority.

* * * * *

Buffy and Angel sat at home in silence. Both sat on different couches, Buffy with tea that she wasn’t drinking and Angel staring down at his shoes, his arms resting on his thighs.

For the first time since they entered the house over three hours ago, Buffy spoke. “I’m sorry.” She whispered it, but it rang like a gong in Angel’s ears.

“Don’t.” His voice was gruff from lack of use. “Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault.” He said slowly as if trying to convince her and himself that it was the truth.

Tears fell from her eyes. “I should have been paying more attention. I completely zoned…I should have watched her more carefully.” Buffy explained.

“It could have happened to anyone.” He stated quietly still looking at the ground.

“But it didn’t! It happened to us! How could this happen to us?” Angel could tell she was about to lose it again, so he rushed to her and took his wife in his arms.

“We’ll find her.” His voice expelled more confidence than he had, but he had to be strong for her. “The police are searching the whole town, and they won’t stop till they find Deanna.” He waited as she calmed down then picked her up in his arms. “Come on, let’s get some rest.” He carried her up to their room and neither of them bothered to change or get under the covers. He just held her until they both drifted to sleep.

* * * * *

Nightmares plagued her. She woke up screaming, and sweating. Angel could only hold her as she cried over and over again. It pained him to see her like this. So lost, so broken . Sure, he was hurting too...but his wife felt she was to blame for the whole ordeal, and part of him blamed her too, although he would never let her know that.

One night had passed, and the police had yet to find her. Angel was starting to feel anxiety build within him. What if they didn't find her? What then? How would they get on with their lives without their beloved daughter with them...?

Even though the sun was already shining through the window, Angel encouraged Buffy to go back to sleep. If she woke, Deanna would be on her mind constantly, and she needed to rest some.

Angel reached over to the night stand and grabbed his cell phone. He dialed the familiar number. "Hey Jessica...I'm not gonna be coming into the office today. I'm taking a sick day."

Chapter 3: A New Day…A New Life


Three Days. Three Nights. And Deanna still wasn’t found. Angel and Buffy’s friends had all start to notice her start to retreat into herself more and more each day. She wouldn’t speak to anyone, barely ate anything…and actually leaving the bed was almost impossible to do. Angel considered taking her to a doctor to talk about what happened, but he didn’t think his wife would even notice she was being talked to. So he did the only thing he could do…comforted her as much as he could, be there when she needed to cry and stay strong.

* * * * * *

Buffy woke up with arms wrapped comfortingly around her. She was glad that the nightmares stopped for the night. She held the hands that held her, and looked down at them with a frown. Not Angel’s hands. she thought to herself.

She jerked herself out of the strong arms, and before she knew it she fell to the ground beside the bed. She heard a deep chuckle. The man that wasn’t her husband popped his head over the edge of the bed to look at her with a raised brow and a smirk. “You okay there, pet? You have one of those weird dreams again?”

She looked at him in shock. “Spike? What the hell…Oh my God I’m losing my mind.” She said to herself as she held her head in her hands. She glanced around the room. It was her room…but everything about it was different; different bed sheets, different furniture, different paintings on the walls…and a different man in her bed. A man she hadn’t seen in a very long time. “This isn’t right…I shouldn’t be here.”

“You’re right…you should be in bed with me. Pet, are you okay you’re acting really strange.” Spike quested with a furrowed brow holding his hand out to her.

She was about to answer when she saw that beautiful flash of honey hair.

“Mommy…what are you doing on the floor?” the little girl asked with a giggle. That precious giggle.

“Mommy’s feelin’ a little goofy today, sweets. Why don’t you go to your room and grab that picture you did for mum this morning, yeah?” He watched with a smile as she ran back to her room, her hair flowing behind her. “My God…she reminds me so much of you.”

That’s when Buffy’s anger set in. She stood up and poked a finger into his chest hard. “What the hell are you doing with my daughter?! You were the one that took her didn’t you? You took my baby from Angel and me cause-” she was pushing and punching at his chest with tears streaming down her cheeks. The look of shock and horror on his face went unnoticed. She was cut off from the little girl that had made her way back into the room.

“Mommy…why are you hitting daddy?” Deanna’s bottom lip trembled, much like her mother’s did.

Buffy glanced at her daughter. “Daddy?” she looked back to Spike who had more of a look of concern on his face than the shock before.

“Luv, you’re starting to scare me now. Is there something wrong?” Spike reached towards her, and she flinched away. Buffy placed the palm of her hand to her forehead as new memories flashed threw her mind.


Buffy sat on a very familiar bench. The bench that both her and spike sat on when he told her he was leaving to go to England.

“I’m going back to England, pet. My dad wants me to go to school there…where he went and where my grandfather went.” He could see the devastated look on her face and quickly continued. “So come with me.” a smile grew on both their faces.

She remembered Spike leaving by himself, but her memories told her that she had went with him. Where they had grown closer, fell even deeper in love with each other.

Buffy dropped out of the University of Sunnydale and after the move she took a couple of classes at a great art institute near their loft.

Buffy and spike fell to their new couch. “Finally, I can’t believe we’re all moved in. This is all so surreal. You and me finally getting a place together…” Buffy cuddled up in her lover’s arms.

“Yeah, but after my four years of school are done with, we can go back to Sunnydale. I know you miss your mum and your friends. Then we can get a bigger house; I’ll get a great job that I love for a change…” Buffy giggled at him. Spike could never find a job that kept him interested. “And you’ll find a gallery that you can put your work in.”

“You’re really thinkin’ far ahead. You really think we’ll last that long?” Buffy asked teasingly.

“We’ve lasted since the beginning of high school, pet. I think we’ll last forever.” He kissed her lovingly, as he ran his fingers through her hair.

The honey blonde glanced at the man she loved for so many years. That’s when she saw the wedding, not to Angel like she thought, but to Spike. She saw herself in the hospital giving birth to Deanna, with Spike at her side…Spike holding his daughter, him thanking her for giving him the most beautiful gift of all.

And she fell for him all over again. She felt feelings growing by the second…feelings she once felt for Angel that were starting fade as if he stopped existing to her. “I’m sorry baby, I guess I’m just having one of those days. I’m fine.” She faked a smile.

Spike wrapped her up in his arms, and kissed her forehead. Deanna had made her way up onto the bed, and sat between her parents.

Buffy was torn. She knew she had lost Deanna went she was with Angel. But she was here now, with her and Spike. Part of her missed Angel deeply, but she missed her daughter, and if this is where Deanna was…then Buffy would be here too.

"So, it's a Sunday morning, it's a beautiful day ...what do my girls wanna do?" Spike asked bouncing his daughter on his lap.

"How bout we go out for breakfast, and then head down to the beach!" Buffy said enthusiastically, exciting Deanna.

"Yeah! Please daddy?" she gave him those puppy dog eyes that made him melt, and he caved.

"Whatever my girls want, my girls get. Go start getting ready, bit." he lowering his daughter from the king size bed, and gave her a light tap on her bottom, and she giggled as she ran back to her room. "You have no idea how happy I am that you decided to come back to England with me, luv. I couldn't be happier." Spike stated with conviction.

"Me either." She wasn't lying.

Chapter 4: Learning to Deal

Buffy and her family headed down to the beach after a filling breakfast at Denny’s. Buffy sat and watched as Spike played with her daughter…their daughter in the water. It was starting to become easier to believe Spike as her husband. Angel’s face was starting to slowly fade…as if she knew him but hadn’t seen him for years, a distant memory.

The bleach blonde man chased Deanna out of the water, and the little girl came running towards her mother. She collapsed on the blanket next to her. “Mommy! He’s tryna throw me in again!” she giggled as Spike picked Deanna up like a baby in his arms.

“Come on baby…you’re next.” Spike smirked at his wife.

“Oh no…you’re not getting me in the water. I’m enjoying the niceness of sunbathing thank you very much.” Buffy said as she closed her eyes and lowered her sunglasses as she lay back on the blanket.

Spike and Deanna looked at each other and smiled. She shared that smile with him…that mischievousness. Spike held her out over Buffy, and Deanna rung her hair out over her mother’s stomach. Both father and daughter giggled and chuckled as Buffy shot up and shrieked in shock.

She jumped up and tossed her glasses on the blanket and she chased her two kids into the water.


* * * * *

Angel was starting to worry…it had been over a week since Deanna disappeared and Buffy seemed to be losing herself more and more by the day. She wouldn’t move, wouldn’t talk…just stare into nothing. He considered taking her to the hospital, but Angel knew of her fear of them. She’d come to soon…he hoped.

* * * * *

Buffy enjoyed the day out so much she didn’t want it to end. She missed her daughter. But now as she lay in her bed that she now shared with Spike, she started to feel guilt. Guilt for leaving Angel to grieve for their daughter…possibly grieve for her. If she was here, what was happening there wherever there was?

That’s when questions started to float through her head. Where is here? Why is this happening? Am I going crazy? Am I just dreaming? She didn’t know…she didn’t even know if she wanted to know. Just get some sleep and think about it in the morning. she thought to herself.

Buffy let herself cuddle into Spike, enjoying the comfort she got from it. It had been a long time since she was able to hold Spike like this, and it almost felt like coming home.

* * * * *

Waking up, Angel felt something he hadn’t felt for a long while. It was an arm…resting across his stomach. Since Deanna disappeared, Buffy had been less physical with him. She wouldn’t even cuddle into him when he held her…she just laid there, still.

Now her head was resting on his chest and she had a sleepy smile on her face. She started to stir a bit the she spoke…for the first time in a week. “Morning baby…” her eyes were still closed. “Tell Dee that she doesn’t have to go to school today…I wanna do a mother daughter day, just the two of us.” Hearing those words brought tears to Angel’s eyes.

“Buffy, Deanna’s not here…we went over this.” His voice was strained and full of pain.

The blonde’s eyes shot open and she quickly glanced around the room. It was all a dream…really? It felt so real…so true. If it was a dream then she wanted to be sleeping again. “Angel…sorry. I had this dream…I didn’t lose her and me and-Spike-you were happy. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wig out like that. I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay…shhh…it’s okay. How about we just stay here today…I have no energy to do anything anyway. Just let me hold you, okay?” All Buffy did was nod, and fell back into sleep.

When she woke up again it was just past five, and she felt her body starting to ache from lying down for so long. She felt around next to her for another body but felt nothing but cold sheets. As Buffy stretched herself out in bed she glanced around the room and noticed that she had not left her bed with Angel. Everything is so dark here; dark beddings…dark walls. It was even raining heavily outside, as if God was crying for their loss. With Spike everything is always so bright. The sun is always shining, and so were their faces.

Buffy moved from the bed and made her way down the stairs into the kitchen where she could fix herself a cup of coffee. She paused when she heard a voice, Angel’s voice talking on the phone.

“Yeah…don’t worry about it, I’ll be there. Don’t worry about her she’s still sleeping, she probably won’t even notice I’m gone.” He sounded bitter. “She doesn’t notice much these days.” He mumbled more to himself. “Just give me ten minutes okay, and I’ll be right over. You too, bye.” Angel hung up his cell phone collected his jacket and quietly left through the back door.

Buffy walked into the kitchen after she heard the door close, a look of shock on her face. What was that all about? Who was he talking to and why was she brought up? Her mind started to run a mile a minute until she forced herself to just stop. Stop thinking about more painful things and to focus on what the hell was going on with her. She decided that maybe if she said it out loud it would finally settle in and she could move on with her normal life.

“Deanna’s gone.” She stopped. She felt her head get dizzy and her eyes start to water. Her baby was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. Buffy’s muscles started to weaken and she felt herself falling to the ground.

* * * * *

Her eyes slowly started to open. Everything was blurry and she couldn’t focus on much.

“Baby, pet…you okay? You had a bit of a dizzy spell there.”

That voice…so comforting…I love that voice. “Yeah I’m fine…can you help me up?” he grabbed her hand and slowly pulled her to her feet. “Thanks Spike.”

Spike pulled her into his arms and kissed the crown of her head. “You scared me for a minute there. You gotta start eating more, luv.”

“Yeah, your right. Where’s Deanna…she didn’t see that did she?” Buffy asked referring to her collapsing.

“Naw, she’s at her friend’s house to for the night, remember? I just dropped her off.” Spike reminded his wife.

“Right.” Buffy shook her head. “Sorry, temporary insanity.” She laughed it off.

Spike chuckled as well, and guided Buffy to sit down at the table. “Just relax, kitten. I’m gonna make my wife a great delicious dinner.” Spike smiled lovingly at her, and she felt her knees go weak despite the fact that she was already sitting down.

“Do you want any help?” She asked out of habit.

“You can help me by sitting there and looking pretty. This is all about you okay?”

About ten minutes later Spike was stirring a homemade Alfredo sauce, and stir frying some vegetables. He glanced back at his wife and saw her beautiful smile, and almost lost it. “You got to stop looking at my like that, it’s a little distracting.” He joked. “How do you expect me to concentrate when all I see it that amazing smile of yours?”

“You told me to sit and look pretty, that’s what I was doing.” She pouted. She loved that she knew all the right buttons to push.

“That’s it.” Spike temporarily turned off the elements, and rushed over to the blonde that was still pouting at the kitchen table. He pulled her up from her seat and planted one hell of a kiss on her lips. One kiss and she was shaking from excitement. Angel never got her like that. When Spike pulled away he saw the lust building in her, and the excitement written all over her face. “That’ll teach you to distract me while I’m cooking.” He smirked and moved back to the stove to continue his prior activities.

Buffy shakily sat down again and stared at the hardwood floor. She hadn’t been kissed like that since Spike left her all those years ago. But the Buffy he knows gets kissed like that all the time. Buffy decided that she really, really liked this place.

“That’s it.” Spike temporarily turned off the elements, and rushed over to the blonde that was still pouting at the kitchen table. He pulled her up from her seat and planted one hell of a kiss on her lips. One kiss and she was shaking from excitement. Angel never got her like that. When Spike pulled away he saw the lust building in her, and the excitement written all over her face. “That’ll teach you to distract me while I’m cooking.” He smirked and moved back to the stove to continue his prior activities.

Buffy shakily sat down again and stared at the hardwood floor. She hadn’t been kissed like that since Spike left her all those years ago. But the Buffy he knows gets kissed like that all the time. Buffy decided that she really, really liked this place.



Chapter 5: Study Sessions


Buffy sat up in bed that night, forcing herself to stay awake by reading her favorite book. She didn’t want to go back to the pain, didn’t want to go back to the darkness that her life with Angel had. Her eyelids were getting heavy but she continued to fight against it.

Spike rolled over to face her. “Kitten, why don’t you just get some kip? It’s two in the morning.” Her husband looked at her sleepily.

“I’m trying to finish this book.” She said on a yawn. She flipped a page.

“Looks like you got another twenty chapters to go, pet.” He chuckled. Spike grabbed the book gently from her hands, marked the page and placed it on the nightstand. “Just sleep.”

“But I’m not tired.” She yawned again.

“I totally believe you.” Spike said sarcastically. “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms and snuggled her head under his chin. “I love you, Buffy.”

A tear ran down her cheek but he didn’t seem to notice. “I love you too.” And she fell asleep.

* * * * *

Buffy woke up alone. In Angel’s bed. A thought popped into her brain and the blonde hurriedly got out of bed to get showered and dressed. When she was done, she made her way into the kitchen for a quick coffee before she went to the library. She frowned when she noticed the note on the counter.

Buffy,

Sorry I didn’t come home last night, I got really caught up at the office and I slept there. I got home early this morning, and I didn’t want to wake you. I have some errands to run today, I’ll give you a call when I’m on my way back. So get some rest and take care of yourself.

Angel

She shrugged and left the note on the counter. She had a feeling Angel wasn’t ‘running errands’. That phone call she heard the other day was obvious enough. When Buffy drank her coffee, she grabbed her keys and coat and got into the car.

* * * * *

Buffy walked to the counter of the library and caught the attention of an older man with glasses. “Hey…I’m looking for books on dreams…could you point me in the right direction?”

“Uh, fiction or non-fiction?” he asked cleaning his glasses.

“Non-fiction.” Buffy hastily stated.

“Right this way.” The librarian guided her through shelves upon shelves of books. “Ah, yes! Right here.” He stood in front of the section dedicated to dreams. “If you need anymore help don’t hesitate to ask. My name is Mr. Giles, or just Giles.”

“Thank you.” The petite blonde got right to work; fishing for dream meanings to why you have dreams to the mystics of dreams.

She brought them all to a tables and attempted to learn what was happening to her. “What does it mean if you dream about having a family…with your ex instead of your husband?” she asked herself with frustration. Buffy was about ready to pull her hair out. She had been here for five hours and was yet to get any real information about what was going on.

The library was starting to clear out and soon it was only she and Mr. Giles left. She sighed heavily. “Um, Mr. Giles…? I’m probably going to need that help now.” She sheepishly asked.

He quickly made his way over. “What can I help you with…?”

“Buffy. Look lately I’ve been having these really weird dreams.” She took a calming breath and watched as Giles sat down in the chair next to her. “My husband and I lost our daughter at the park a few weeks ago…”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” the British man placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Ever since then I’ve been dreaming, at least I think they’re dreams, about having her back…as if I hadn’t lost her at all. But my husband isn’t my husband Angel. He’s my ex boyfriend of six years from high school. And we’re happy and everything great, we’re in love. And then I wake up and I’m depressed because my daughter is gone, and my marriage is slowly becoming a loveless one. I’m finding that when I’m with Spike…I don’t want to fall asleep because I know that I’m not gonna wake up with him. I just want to know what’s happening to me.” Tears started to well up in her eyes, and she tried to blink them away.

Giles was silent for a moment before he brought a book closer to him. “Have you looked through this one yet?” he raised his glasses higher up on his nose.

Buffy hid her face in her hands, resting her elbows on the table. “No I didn’t get to that one yet.” The title was ‘The Mystics of a Dream’. She started reading the introduction page and frowned. “Are you trying to say that I might be experiencing something magical?” Buffy almost laughed.

“Could be so. Listen to this. “‘When find you are having dreams that bring forth those you loved or lost, it is possible that your mind is giving you a chance to get them back.’” Giles recited from the book.

Buffy was in shock. “So you’re saying that there’s a way that I can stay there…with Spike and Deanna? How, when every time I go to sleep I end up here?” Buffy questioned no one in particular.

“‘To live your life in this realm you must succumb to the dream itself, and let yourself become one with it. Recite the incantation below and create a Circle of Blessing.’” The librarian searched lower and found that the incantation was in Latin. “The materials you need are written right here, and I know of a place that you can find them. The Magic Box on the corner of Main and Hemmings. There’s one thing though…”

“What?” the blonde asked eagerly.

“Do you know how to speak Latin?”

Chapter 6: Magic Stuff

Buffy quietly entered her home with Angel with a bag full of magic materials that were needed for the spell, and the book that she borrowed from the library. She didn’t know Latin at all but apparently the language was all about pronunciation, and Buffy did take Spanish in high school.

The blonde started walking up to the bathroom in the master bedroom where she planned to set everything up. Easier clean up. She explained to herself. Well if this all works like it’s suppose to then you won’t be here to clean it up.

But halfway up the stairs she was stopped by a voice. “You just gonna walk right past me without a hello?” the tone was teasing, and in no way angry, if not a little hurt.

Buffy jumped at her husband words. “Sorry Angel…I didn’t even see you there.” She claimed as he emerged from the kitchen.

“It’s okay, baby.” He walked towards her and wrapped her in a tight hug. “Did you get my note this morning?” He asked kissing her forehead.

Buffy pulled away awkwardly. “Yeah I did…I had some errands to run myself.”

Angel glanced down at the bag in her hand. “Oh yeah…what did you pick up?” he tried to sneak a peek.

“Stuff.” Buffy quickly stated, pulling the bag a little farther away from him. “Magic stuff, it’s a thing.” She shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

Angel smiled brightly at her. “You seem to be in a better mood today. You’re actually saying more than two words at a time.” He ran his big hand over her hair.

“Yeah I think I’m doing a little better. I think I get it now…Deanna’s gone. She’s not coming back…here anywayand although it hurts, it’s not gonna change and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Buffy sighed heavily. If she didn’t know what was on the other side Buffy would have never said that, and if Angel fell for it he didn’t know her very well.

“Wow. What a turn around. Yesterday you couldn’t even get out of bed. I’m glad that you’re coming to terms with it baby…I thought I lost you for good.” He kissed her on the forehead.

You will. Buffy thought to herself. What an idiot he was if he thought she would actually be able to get over losing Deanna that quickly. He was making it really easy to leave this place. Buffy faked a smile. “I’m just gonna put this upstairs and then fix up something to eat okay.”

“Alright. I’m gonna jump in the shower.” He kissed her again on the cheek and headed upstairs.

* * * * *

After Buffy put everything in the closet in the bedroom for safekeeping, she made her way back downstairs. She thought it would be best to do while Angel wasn’t home so waiting until tomorrow when he left for work would be perfect.

When she entered the kitchen, the blonde heard the distinct sound of vibrations and realized it was Angel’s cell phone on the counter. Curiosity got the better of her and Buffy picked it up and the screen flashed ‘one new text message’. She read the text.

‘Can’t wait to see you tonight at ‘the office’. Lol
I’m thinking another sleepover is in order.
Maybe this time I can keep you from going back
to that comatose wife of yours.

Lust you…Gwen’

Buffy still felt hurt by those words but wouldn’t let herself cry over them. I think what hurt the most was that he could cheat on her at her lowest moment, and so shortly after he lost his daughter. She deleted the message and threw the phone back onto the counter.

After another twenty minutes, Angel skipped his way downstairs and into the kitchen.

“I know I just got home, but I got get back to the office. I didn’t finish all the work I was suppose to last night.” Angel rushed around the space making himself a quick coffee. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry baby, but I’ll finish up as soon as I can, okay?”

Buffy nodded silently, and followed him to the door. “I’ll see you tonight then.” She lied. Buffy noticed that he at least had the decency to change back into his suit after his shower.

“Okay…I’ll call you on my way home.” Angel started walking down the driveway to his car. Once he had his car door open Buffy called out to him.

“Angel!” He glanced back and smiled. “Tell Gwen I said hi.” She smiled sweetly when she noticed the shocked look on his face. “Now go, she’s expecting you at the office.” With that, Buffy slammed the door closed, locked and bolted it shut then ran upstairs to start the spell.

Buffy went to the closet to grab to book and the materials she needed for the spell that could change her life forever. She hurried to the bathroom and quickly pushed all the bath rugs out of the way to clear a spot for the sacred circle.

She poured the blue sand in a circle on the floor around her, and sat cross-legged in the center of it. She set up three white candles in a triangle in front of her and lit them one after the other with a long match. Out of the bag, Buffy pulled out a bundle of Passionflower, and held it in the palms of her hands.

“Here we go.” She whispered to herself before grabbing the spell book and placing it on her lap. The blonde flipped it to the correct page, and took a deep breath. Her stomach was flipping around inside her. If this worked, she would be home with Spike and Deanna before dinnertime. If it didn’t, then she would have to deal with a cheating husband when he got home the next morning.

Buffy held the passionflower by the stem, and held it over the flame of the middle candle, and started the incantation.

‘Ut haria quinymo exsisto somnium
Quam animadverto ego ago
Toma mihi ut locus ego peto
Quod permissum mihi ago vita of meus somnium
Permissum is exsisto
Permissum is exsisto
Permissum is exsisto’

The blonde didn’t move the flower from the flame until it had burnt right out. She stayed silent, not wanting to ruin the moment or the spell. Before she knew it, Buffy started feeling dizzy and everything in the room started blending together.

It’s working. She thought to herself before passing out in the Circle of Blessing.

Chapter 7: Oh My God are You Serious?! Really?

Buffy woke up feeling a little too dizzy. As her mind cleared a little she realized she was being shaken. “Wha? Please stop shaking me.” she pleaded. Buffy opened her eyes to be greeted with Deanna’s worried gaze.

“You okay mommy?” her little girl asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, sweetie.” She pulled herself up from the bathroom floor, and tried to hide her excitement and act normal as not to scared her daughter anymore.

“You seem to be doing that a lot lately, luv. You sure you’re okay?” Spike asked as he helped her off the ground.

“I’m fine…better than fine! I’m ecstatic!” Buffy flung her arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately. She barely heard Deanna’s ‘eeww’ before she ran off to her room. When they pulled away from each other, Buffy buried her head in his chest. “It worked, it worked, it worked.” She whispered over and over again, quiet even that her husband didn’t hear her.

* * * * *

Buffy, Deanna and Spike all headed out to the park later that morning so that Deanna could play with the other kids on the playground. The three of them sat underneath a large willow tree, and ate some lunch that they packed along.

“Mommy…can I go play now?” Dee asked with beautiful shining eyes.

“Of course…have fun, sweetie. Be careful.” She tapped her on the butt as she ran towards the monkey bars.

“God is she a doll or what?” Spike commented. “I’ll never be able to get enough of her…she looks so much like you.” He turned to her and grinned placing sweet kisses all over her face.

The blonde couple sat and chatted as they watched their daughter play around in the sand with a dark-haired boy. They watched with confused faces, as the boy pulled her over to a spot under another tree, two yards away where apparently his parents were sitting. They smiled. Introductions. Buffy started packing the basket they had brought and didn’t notice the two children dragging the father over to their spot.

“Honey…I think someone wants us to meet someone else.” Spike commented, as Deanna jumped into his arms.

Buffy turned around and caught the gaze of someone she never thought she’d see again. “Hi, I’m Liam…but everyone calls me Angel.” The man smiled, and shook the hand of Deanna’s father, and then the very shocked mother. “This is my son, Connor…my wife Gwen, she’s sitting right over there.” Buffy glanced to where he was pointing and caught her waving at them. The blonde politely waved back. So this is Gwen…huh. She’s pretty. At least he looks happy.

“It’s nice to meet you, Angel. I’m Spike and this is my wife Buffy…I see you’ve already met Deanna.” Spike noticed Buffy’s shocked face, and decided to call her on it later.

“Well, the reason I came over here was the kids seemed to be getting along here quite well, I thought maybe we could set up a play date once or twice a week. We’re new in town, so Connor doesn’t have many friends.” Angel suggested, placing his hands gently on his son’s shoulders.

Buffy decided it was best for her to say something so he didn’t think she was mute or something. “That would be great! I know Deanna could always use and extra friend…and so could we.” She added, looking at Spike who nodded his head enthusiastically.

“Yeah…the house is always filled with women, I could use some male bonding time. Kick back…have a few brews, watch the game!” Spike remarked with excitement.

Angel laughed. “You better be talkin’ football, my friend and not the American kind.”

Buffy sighed. “Oh no! Now you’ve gone and done it. I think you just stole his heart.” The blonde joked about her husband.

“What team?” Spike interrogated.

“Manchester! All the way.” Angel said with no hesitation.

Buffy frowned. He was never into any of these things when we were together. Oh well…different times, different people.

Spike jumped up and clapped the brunette man on the shoulder. “This mate…looks like the beginning of a blossoming friendship.”

* * * * *

A couple of weeks later, Buffy and Spike were happier than ever, and Deanna seemed to be growing somewhat of a crush on Connor, which both set of parents thought was too sweet. The Flanery’s had dinner at the Pratt house at least once a week so the grown ups could talk. Everything was going great and she was happy that she could still be in the presents of Angel without having to leave Spike to do so. Even though he hurt her in the other life, he was a completely different man now and still missed this side of him. The carefree side like he was in the beginning. After they got married, his work changed him a little…made him too serious.

Now Buffy was walking down to the library in the hope to find a certain person. She walked trough the doors, and browsed quickly running her fingers along the old spines of the books on the shelves.

“Can I help you with anything?” a mousy voice asked from behind her.

Buffy looked up at the dark hair woman and smiled. “Yes...I’m actually looking for a Mr. Giles? Does he work here?” Buffy bit her lip in anticipation.

“Yes…he’s in his office follow me.” the woman said. “I’m Fred by the way…Winifred for, well long I guess.” She laughed softly.

“I’m Buffy.”

Fred whipped around. “Oh my God are you serious?! Really?”

“Yeeees?” Buffy questioned.

“Wow! Giles told me all about you, and the spell.” She whispered the last part. “Did it work?”

Buffy smiled. “That’s kinda what I wanted to talk to him about.”

Fred grabbed her hand and pulled her into Mr. Giles’ office. “Look who’s here!” she nearly shouted.

“Buffy…my, I was wondering if you were ever going to come back. Tell me did the spell work?” Giles asked with a smile saying he already knew that it did.

“What do you think?” she answered with a smile of her own.

Giles came around and wrapped her in a hug. “I’m so happy for you, dear. I hope this new life is everything you could ever want.”

Buffy hugged him back. “Oh…it is and more. And I would never would have had it if it wasn’t for you.” She said as she pulled away.

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned with a hanky that was in his chest pocket. “Well…I’m glad I could help. I hope everything works of wonderfully for you.”

Buffy smiled. “Thank you, for everything. I should be heading home now…gotta get back to my family.” With a last goodbye Buffy left the library and went back home.

Fred turned to her boss slash mentor. “Are you ever going to tell her that it wasn’t the spell that brought her here?” she questioned.

“And what, say that God put her in the place she belonged…like she would buy it.” Giles walked through another door that led to bright white lights and a comforting aura. His tweed suit morphed into a white robe.

Fred followed him through; her baby blue dress faded white and feathered wings grew on her shoulder blades. “Hey it could happen.”




THE END!