“I’m such a fool.”

Buffy wanted to shake her head and reach out to her friend with a smile and say, ‘No you aren’t’, but the words seemed to be stuck on the roof of her mouth. She wasn’t a good enough liar either to let the words, ‘Maybe he’ll come back’, slip out. Buffy’s friend, Cordelia, was finding out the hard way that not all little rich girls from Sunnydale married a decent man. Hell, half the girls from Buffy and Cordelia’s high school were already into their second marriage; and at the age of twenty nine it wasn’t considered an accomplishment.

“He didn’t even say goodbye to Connor…” Cordelia cried, thinking of her 18 month old son that was now left daddy-less.

“Connor’s better off without him. Plus, he’s young…he won’t remember this painful time.” Buffy said softly as she shuffled though her purse, searching for her little plastic pouch that carried Kleenexes--being a mother of two she had to always be prepared for drippy noses. Once she found it she pushed it across the table and encouraged her friend to blow her nose.

“That’s not making it better, Buffy.” Cordelia grumbled as she blew her nose and then grabbed another Kleenex and blew again.

“I know, but things will get better eventually. Sometime in the future you’ll look back and—“

“Easy for you to say, your marriage is perfect.” Cordelia interrupted, the tone in her voice was now turning to be smart-alecky and bitter.

“William and I do not have the ‘perfect marriage’. We have problems just like everyone else.” Buffy argued. She was started to get a little ticked off with the brunette being all snotty and stuck up when Cordelia was the one that called her at home with her problems. She had to drop her kids off at her mother’s in order to make this last minute luncheon.

“What kind of problems? Who forgot to turn off the downstairs TV after you go to bed?” she mumbled under breath as she snatched out another Kleenex from the plastic pouch.

Buffy reached over Cordelia’s water glass and took her Kleenexes back. She wasn’t going to share with this wet cat when she was being such a bitch.

“Oh grow up Cordy!” she said in a harsh whisper. “I can’t help it Angelus was an asshole. I warned you once before that he wasn’t the faithful type, and you just plain out ignored everything I said.”

“That was in high school! I mean, just because he wasn’t faithful to you doesn’t mean he would do it to me.”

“But he did do it to you!” ‘Gosh!! Did I need to write it out in big black letters?’ Buffy thought as she shook her head in disbelieve at how narrow-minded her old best friend is being.

“I didn’t deserve this Buffy, I was loyal to that bastard for five years and I carried his child.” Cordelia raised her voice a little bit louder, “And I’m sorry if I lost a few of my curves after Connor was born, but that’s what happens when you have kids.”

“Don’t you think I don’t know that?” Buffy asked, “I have two, remember?”

However, Cordelia wasn’t really listening; she was too busy being in a fit of rage over her soon to be ex-husband. “He told me he was bored! Fuckin’ bored!”

“Bored?” Buffy scrunched up her face and looked a bit confused.

“I mean he was on the road a lot, and he said when he came home that he was just bored with the whole…having a family thing. He was bored with me...and thought there were more exciting things he could be doing.”

Cordelia’s rage started to dissolve and the tears returned once again.

‘Bored of having a family?’ Buffy never really thought of it before. She knew that people had routines day in and day out that weren’t too excited—get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed, pay your taxes—but she never really believed that someone would walk out on their family because of it. ‘What about watching you children blossom into an adult and seeing what path they take in life...or the making of memories with your spouse?’ Buffy asked herself, ‘How could that be boring?’ Unfortunately for Cordelia, it seemed that Angelus found something better than his son and wife. His priorities had now shifted.

Buffy shoved the tissues back across the table without a word.

*~*~*~*~*

Buffy glanced into her rearview mirror of her car to take a peek at the two kids in the back seat. Matthew was playing some sort of electronic game quietly while Sarah sleepily watched the cars go by in the passing lane.

‘Bored with your family’

The words seemed to nagging Buffy all afternoon. It made her think of her own life with her husband, and what he was really feeling when he was at home with her and the kids. Buffy was well aware that they had a routine at some things, but would that really cause boredom? Every Saturday morning William took Matthew to soccer practice and Sarah to ballet class, every morning she made the same breakfast for the kids and William—cereal, if you even call that ‘making something’, and every night after dinner she always dried the dishes while he washed.

‘Maybe he would like to dry for a change… ‘, the thought popped into Buffy’s mind. ‘Day in, day out he washed and washed and washed until he couldn’t take it anymore…then one day his soapy pruney hands packed up his bags and left just because he didn’t get the chance to dry.’

Buffy shook her head at how crazy the voice inside her head sounded. ‘William wouldn’t crack because of that…hell, he likes things staying the same…he wore the same damn thing everyday for five years until I introduced him to the other colors of the rainbow.’

“Mom, are you making tacos tonight?” Matthew asked as Buffy drove into the driveway.

“Thursday night tacos!” Sarah squealed in delight.

Buffy bit her lip when she recalled going to the grocery store and buying the meat and taco shells like she did every week. It was the Sarah and Matt’s favorite food, and it seemed to be the only meal they could wipe clean off their plate without problems. ‘Thursday night tacos…’ she thought with a sigh, ‘Oh yeah, another red letter for the Pratt family.’


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You pick up the dry cleaning?” William asked as he got up and went to the refrigerator to return the carton of milk.

Buffy didn’t seem to be listening. She was staring at the center piece in the middle of the table—a fake bouquet of flowers that she got three years ago at an arts and crafts show. Her one taco that she wanted for dinner was left untouched.

“Mommy can you braid my hair later?” Sarah asked as she whipped her face with a napkin.

“Dad, I need a new soccer ball.” Matthew said as he finished his last taco and placed his plate in sink.

“What happen to your old one?” William raised an eyebrow and looked at the seven year old with suspicion. They had just bought him the ball three weeks ago.

“Sarah kicked it into the woods over at grandmas and it went flat.” Matt said as he turned and glared at his little sister. Sarah sported out her tongue in defense.

“Retreat that little tongue love.” William said as he came up and gently tugged on the girls little ponytail. Once he picked up Sarah’s plate and his own, he finally noticed Buffy’s zoned out mode. “You alright?” he asked with a little concern.

Buffy shook her head and blinked a few times, coming out of the trance she some how got during dinner --- somewhere between Matthew talking about wanting a puppy and William explaining why they can’t have one. She got up out of the chair and took the plates out of William’s hand.

“I got it love.” He said as he held onto the plates.

“Nah, I got it.” She shook her head and tugged the dishes towards her.

Neither of them let go of their side of the plates.

“You didn’t eat…” he frowned as he noticed her plate still full.

“I’m not all that hungry. I had a lunch thing today.”

“Lunch thing?” William questioned.

“Yeah with Cordelia.”

“Your old best friend slash bit—umm…B-I-T-C-H.” he said, catching himself quickly when he remembered that a seven and four year old were present.

“What does that spell?” Sarah interrupted.

“A bad word.” Matt explained.

“No…no, it doesn’t. Now go watch the telly.” William said.

Once the kids were gone William went back to cleaning up the table.

“What did she want?” William asked, going back to the subject of Cordelia.

“She and Angelus are getting a divorce apparently.”

William snorted and laughed, “Who’s leaving whom?”

“Angelus left.”

“Big surprise there.” He muttered as he threw the scraps of food away in the trash can, “Cordelia should be happy to be getting half of Angelus’s big fat pay check. So who did he do it with?”

“Do?”

“He had an affair right? Run away with the secretary or nanny or someone else with big boobs?” William went back over to the sink, dropping the last plate in the dirty dish water and turning back to Buffy.

“I’ll wash today…you dry.” She said before he could reach for a wash cloth.

“Huh?”

“I want to wash.” Buffy said stubbornly, grabbing a clean towel off the counter and throwing it at his chest.

“Someone should teach you how to use towels in foreplay, luv.” He gave her one of his sexy smirks, but Buffy didn’t see it.

After wiping the first plate clean she handed it to him.

“That wasn’t the reason he left…I think” Buffy muttered, moving back to the subject of Angelus and Cordelia’s failed marriage.

“Before we get into that, why did she call you? All her regular friends out playing tennis at the country club or something?”

“I don’t know…she called and I answered…guess because Angelus broke my heart once before, she decided to start a club meeting or something.” Buffy rolled her eyes; she didn’t know why she answered the phone. They had caller ID. She knew it was Cordelia, but yet she went ahead and was drawn back into the world of high school drama.

“Is this a private club or can anyone join?” he laughed.

“Sorry…need to have dated Angelus to join.” She teased with smile and passed him a wet plate, it was the first smile she displayed in hours.

William shook his head in disgust as a mental image flashed in his mind, “No thanks…”

“Maybe he did cheat on Cordelia and did run away with his secretary…she really didn’t go into all the messy details. She sort of gave the impression that he did.”

“We aren’t going to be getting a three in the morning phone call, are we; with her on the other end, crying and telling you how she is missing her sweetie cakes.” William’s towel drying arm froze in mid sweep across a plate; he dreaded the answer to his question.

“Doubt it…” she muttered and looked up at an unconvinced William, “We’ll unhook the phone tonight.”

He nodded and got back to drying. He didn’t understand why the girl was calling his wife after not speaking with her for over a year. ‘Could Queen C be hitting rock bottom and be embarrassed that Angelus got the better of her?’ The instant thought made William smirk a little bit.

“I do kind of feel bad for her…some of the things she said were…I mean, what Angelus said to her was…” she paused and didn’t go on. She looked over at William for a second before looking down at the flower pattern on the plate.

“What?”

‘He was bored of me.’

“Nothing.” Buffy shook her head.

*~*~*~*~*~

“Are you ever afraid that one day Xander will get bored of you?” Buffy asked.

“Why? Did he say that?!” Anya asked with wide eyes, she was completely taken off guard.

“No. No.” Buffy shook her head with a smile, trying to help reassure her friend that her husband was not going astray. “Just…” Buffy rolled her eyes at how pathetic she was about to sound, “I was just curious if you ever thought about it.”

“Are you daft? He would never wonder into someone elses nest.” Anya laughed and took a sip of her Starbucks coffee. She had no problem convincing herself about her figure—in Anya’s mind, she was hotter than her cappuccino.

“Well let’s say he isn’t going out looking for strippers, but he got just…you know, bored.” Buffy went on.

“Bored? Buffy, my man has sex on tap. How could he ever get bored with that?”

“I don’t know…” Buffy whispered and shook her head, she felt really embarrassed for asking her blunt friend these kinds of questions in a public place. She didn’t know what kind of words may hop out of Anya’s mouth.

“Is William getting bored?”

“What?! Huh…what? Huh..?” Buffy didn’t know what she was caught off guard by the question, since she was the one that started this subject, but she was.

“Are you not putting out for your poor sex starving husband?” Anya gasped, and shook her head in shame.

“Hey, I put out!” Buffy argued.

“When was the last time you did it?”

“Last Thursday…” Buffy stuck out her tongue just like Sarah did the other night.

“Where was it?”

Buffy looked from side to side in confusion, she forgot this was Anya she was talking to.

“In our bed….” Buffy muttered.

Anya rolled her eyes, she forgot she was working with little innocent Buffy Pratt, the lady who even though was a married woman still had her sexual mind was under a lock and key. “Alright...but when was the last time you did it in your car?”

Buffy’s eyes bugged out. “The…my…what?”

“You heard me Pratt…car…front seat all access pass.” Anya smiled over the edge of her cup as she took a sip. She was starting to like this conversation. Maybe if the two of them had more conversations like this, she would find herself more willing to be dragged out of the office for coffee.

“Anya…we never...we never did that.” Buffy leaned over and whispered between her hands.

“Never?” Anya raised an eyebrow, “I make sure to get Xander in the front AND back seat once every two weeks, and you never done it?”

“We’ve kissed and made out in the car.”

Anya raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, we have an active sex life!” she raised her voice a bit, but once the words were out she looked absolute humiliated when the man at the table behind Anya raised his head up at her from his newspaper. Buffy slouched in her seat.

“But not a kinky one, huh? No wonder you are worried about Mr. Bond playing detective with someone else.” Anya shook her head.

“William loves me.” Buffy said with confidence, and no one, not even Anya herself could ever make her ever doubt his love for her.

“I didn’t say he didn’t.” Anya pointed out. “You were the one talking about being bored…you could be in love and be bored.”

Buffy chewed on her bottom lip as hers thoughts darted to William, Cordelia, Angelus, her kids, towel drying, and the back seat of her Jetta. Cordelia’s crying voice of ‘He was bored with me’ and ‘Bored with the family’ was now replaced with Anya’s, ‘You be in love and be bored’. It was even worse than Cordelia's comment.

“If you want to be kinky, I can help…” Anya shrugged.

Buffy’s eyes shot up and looked at her friend’s casual smile.

“But I’ll have to charge you.” Anya laid down her guidelines quickly before Buffy could get in another word.

TBC…

Buffy wasn’t surprised that her friend would slap a price tag on helpful advice and try to go out and sell it. Anya’s done if before on numerous occasions, and it didn’t even matter to her who the person was. If you wanted proof, ask Xander…hell, even Buffy’s kids had been subject to Anya’s will to get money.

“Anya, I don’t need to pay you money to find out what a guy likes.” Buffy groaned. She still couldn’t believe she hadn’t changed the subject yet—that she was actually encouraging Anya to continue blabbing her words of wisdom for all to hear.

“Well obviously you do. If you did, William would have gotten his happy by now.”

Buffy looked to the ceiling of the coffee shop, up at the high heavens, and whined, “Why me?”

“I know a great place that you can get all kinds of costumes and props.” The embarrassed blonde buried her hands in her hands and let out a weak growl.

“Oh!!!” Anya jumped up in her seat as she instantly though of something, “There is a great sex store in LA that will have everything you’ll ever want; I think they have a website too.”

“Anya!” Buffy gasped, moving her hands away from her blushing cheeks and looking around at all the customers in the store, “Shh!!! People…people will hear you and they’ll kick us out! Could you image the gossip this will cause in a little town like this if they hear us? I can see it now on the local news, ‘Tonight at six, two local women thrown out on their asses by a Starbucks employee for talking like perverts.’”

“Oh please!” Anya waved her hand at Buffy’s silly talk, “Like people in here are not eavesdropping just to find out where ‘Well Blow Me Down’ is.”

“What?!” Buffy gasped in a whisper, she gripped the edge of table when she nearly fell out of her seat. ‘That can’t be the name of the store’ she thought.

“That’s the name of the store.” Anya explained with a shrug, “They are big on pirate theme things for some reason, but don’t worry about it… they have other stuff too, stuff that is not piratey.”

Before Buffy had a chance to stop her wondering mind, a mental image of Xander with an eye patch, a parrot, and a captain’s hat flashed before her eyes. ‘Oh god, I can never look at him the same again!’ she thought with horror.

“You want the website address? I can forward it to you via email.” Anya asked. She chose to ignore her friend’s shocked and freaked out expression on her face-- she was use to having this affect on a number of her employees when she went on and on about her fantasy’s and sexual goals.

Buffy got up from her seat without a word, her face was beat red and she still had a rather dazed look. She could feel her heart was beating like a jackhammer in her chest, and she had an urge for something cool to drink. “Umm…can we go and talk about this somewhere else…please?”

“Oh fine!” Anya rolled her eyes, “But you know, one way to stop being boring is being able to talk about sex casually.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I’m not saying William was bored.” Buffy started, “He may not be.”

Anya took a big slurp out of her new iced coffee as the two girls walked out of Starbucks and ventured down the sidewalk. “But you have your doubts huh?”

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Who got you thinking about his anyway?” Anya asked while her eyes scanned a pair of 3 inch heals in a display window at a shoe store.

“My old high school friend, Cordelia. She is divorcing a guy I use to date. Seems her husband was a bit bored with the whole ‘loving family scene’ and decided that he was better off without them.”

“What a jerkass…” Anya scowled, “…and this is what got your mind running wild with the idea that William will turn into that Dumbo?”

“I don’t know!” The whine coming from Buffy was clear indicator that she was frustrated and tired of her mind nagging her with doubts. She wanted to tell her mind to ‘shut up and go back to normal’, but at the moment the voices inside her head were winner the battle against what her heart truly knew. “I mean it makes sense right? You do the same thing everyday for eight years and then bam--you wake up one morning and find yourself asking ‘What am I doing with my life? Could I have more?’”

“William isn’t a jerkass Buffy. He doesn’t take you, Matt, and Sarah for granted…right?”

“No!” Buffy quickly said; she knew for a fact that he adored their children. “He loves them…and me…just…well, last night after we were done washing dishes…”

The previous evening…

The man that stood on the opposite side of the Pratt’s front door raised an eyebrow when he was greeted with a laughing wet shirted curly haired brown man and a smiling petite blonde with wet jeans.

“Umm…hi.” The stranger said with a friendly smile. ‘What people do in the comfort of their own home is their own busy’ he reminded himself as he eyed the bubbles of soap attached to William’s shirt.

“Umm…hi.” Buffy said with questionable look. She glanced down at her wet clothes and blushed instantly. “Oh god…umm…this is just--” '

'A dish washing game that got out of control?' she thought to herself.

“We were just washing dishes. Can I help you?” William explained quickly, covering for his wife’s embarrassment of the situation.

“I’m sorry I came over here so late, but I don’t get off work till 7 and well… I’m here about your ad” the man explained and held up a rolled up newspaper.

“Ad?” Buffy asked, “I think you have the wrong house maybe—“

“Right. The motorcycle…you interested?” William interrupted and stepped outside the door.

“Ya, I’m trading my car in---thought it was best with the gas prices and all…”

“Right. It’s the garage. I’ll show you.” William said as he handed Buffy his wet towel.

“Umm…Will?” Buffy asked.

“I’ll be a minute love.” William said without further explanation. As he kissed her forehead and went out the door, Buffy could hear William talk with the stranger about gas mileage and the history of his bike.

“So he decided to sell old Black Beauty huh?” Anya took a guess half way through Buffy’s story. The two girls were strolling through a clothing store and checking out the new summer bathing suits. When Buffy picked up a one piece solid black suit, Anya quickly snatched it out of her hands before she had a chance to look at the price tag.

“No, no, no…” Anya said and placed it back in the hanger, “Unless you’re going off to teach Sarah’s swimming class, I’d stay clear of anything that looks like that. If fact, stay clear of this entire rack.”

“What’s wrong with it? It’s…”

“So wrong that I can’t believe that it made it into the 21st century.” Anya openly said. A few feet away from them, a lady in her mid 60s that was holding the exact same bathing suit that Buffy was, but in green. “Oh you know I’m right” Anya said to lady that obviously overheard her.

The lady snuffed Anya and walked toward the casher with her bathing suit.

“Must you always do that?!” Buffy scolded Anya in a whisper, she felt like she was yelling at one of her kids.

“There is nothing wrong with being honest. People are just asking for trouble when they lie…I have no problem telling Xander he looks bad in the clothes he wears.” Anya said as examined a bikini top. “Do you think this would make my breasts look bigger?” she asked Buffy as she held up the top near her chest.

“How does Xander stand you?!” Buffy muttered as she grabbed the hanger from Anya’s hands and put it back.

“I told you, car sex…pool sex…”

“Pool? You didn’t say…oh god!” Buffy shook her head and went over the children’s section of the store.

“Get back to William and Black Beauty.” Anya said as she followed closely behind her friend.

“He’s selling it.”

“Kind of figured, but what’s the big deal? You’ve been hounding him for years to trade it in or push it into a lake or something. You finally got your wish.”

Anya could recall various times that she watched William and Buffy fight over what should be come of ‘Black Beauty’—the number of chainsaws Buffy swore she would hack up the bike with if he didn’t rid of it.

“I know…should be a dream come true, right? Finally being able to get rid of that noisy, dirty, dangerous, space-taking-up piece of junk.” Buffy would have used more adjectives for William’s most prized position, but she decided to say no more when she spotted a few young kids modeling clothes for their mother.

“So what’s the problem?” Anya asked as took the last sip out of her iced coffee cup and threw it in a nearby trash can.

“That bike meant so much to him…” Buffy started, “…and I just feel guilty that he just decided to get rid of it. The fact that he went ahead and did what I said without a fight makes me feel like, I don’t know…an ogre.”

“Let me get this straight…” Anya jumped in front of Buffy’s path, “You’re upset that your husband did what you wanted?”

“Well…when you put it that way—“

“There is just no pleasing you, is there?” Anya shook her head; the sympathy she had for Buffy earlier was now leaning towards William.

*~*~*~*~*~

“This would look cute on Matty…” Buffy said as she held up a striped polo shirt.

“Boys don’t want to look cute…”Anya said as she leaned back up against the wall, waiting for Buffy to be finished buying for Sarah and Matt. “…especially your son.”

“What does that mean?” Buffy laughed and picked up another polo shirt.

“Oh come on, his father at one time was ‘Spike the badass musician’.” Anya pointed out. A few hangers away she spotted a shirt that she thought would be more fitting for Spike’s son. “How about this?”

Buffy turned around from the display of little girl dresses and saw Anya holding up a young boys black t-shirt with a white scull placed in the middle of the fabric. “Very funny” Buffy muttered with a fake smile.

“Very Spikish, don’t you think?” Anya smiled and handed it to Buffy, encouraging her to buy it.

“Don’t think so…put it back.” Buffy shoved it back at Anya. ‘Who on earth would buy that for their child?’ ’ she thought as she headed towards to cashier.

*~*~*~*~*~

“Mmmm…that feels good.”

“I’m live to please, love.” William smiled against her ear as continued to rub Buffy’s back gently. As he hit a tiny knot in her back she let out a gasp, ‘How could I forget the aftershock of shopping…?’ Buffy thought to herself.

Her eyes opened with a lazy smile to take a look across their bedroom at the pictures displayed on the dresser. Between Sarah’s first birthday photo and Matthew’s soccer picture was a photo taken in college of Buffy and William’s friends. ‘Wow…that felt like a million years ago’ she thought when she saw a few old friends that she hadn’t seen in years and a few others she couldn’t even remember their name. She zeroed in on William’s hair and clothes, well, truthfully, Spike’s hair and clothes. The man in the photo was not the same man behind Buffy currently. William wasn’t wearing a chained necklace and big combat boots.

“What’s the matter?” William whispered softly as he felt Buffy tense up a bit.

“Nothing…”

“You’ve been saying that a lot an awful lot lately.” William said as he turned her shoulder around so she was facing him, “I didn’t buy it then and I’m not buying it now…so might as well tell me.”

“Really, it’s nothing.” Buffy admitted as she got up off the edge of their bed and moved into the master bathroom. William followed.

“Is it Cordelia?” William asked as he stood behind her, leaning back against the door, watching for a reaction in the mirror.

“Sort of…” Buffy said as she fussed with rearranging items near the sink, never once looking up in the mirror to meet his eyes.

“Got you thinking huh…?”

“Sort of…”

“About Angelus?”

Buffy turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. “A little…” she admitted with a small shrug.

“Aren’t you glad you took a chance on this handsome git instead of staying with that poofter?” he whispered as he leaned into her—resting his hands on either side of the sink counter.

“Handsome? I never said that.” She teased.

“But it’s what you’re thinking…don’t deny it.”

Buffy gazed into the blue eyes that she loved and considered to be hers...only sparkled for her. Inside his dark pupils she swore she saw spark of fire light up his eye. She shivered at the sight of it, at the remembrance of it. Buffy hadn’t seen that look in a long time, or maybe she didn’t look hard enough before. Whatever the reason was, those blue orbs had her attention now. ‘Have I been killing that fire?’ she asked herself.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked as he broke eye contact with her, moving his head towards her neck and around her earlobe.

“You…”

He drew back and smiled at her, “That’s always nice to hear.”

“What are you thinking about?” she asked as she placed her hands on his hips.

“Always you…” he said as he cupped her cheek and drew her closer to his lips.

The climaxing moment was short lived by a yell down the hallway, “Daddy!”


TBC…

Chapter 3:

Buffy was glad that William had left early on Saturday morning to chauffeur the kids to soccer practice and dance rehearsal, it gave her the opportunity to relax and clear her mind of the last few days and focus on moving forward.

Are my lips getting smaller?

She got as far as brushing her teeth when she lost focus of her ‘moving forward’ plan.

One by one she questioned ever little flaw she thought she had with her body, and then ten minutes later she came back to it again. Sometimes she went off on a tangent. Her lips being smaller equaled her teeth being bigger, and if her teeth were getting bigger it meant her nose may be getting smaller…and well, now you can see how her imagination was being very active this morning.

Inside the bathroom mirror, Buffy’s eyes traveled downward from her mouth towards her breasts. ‘Not as perky as when I was eighteen’. She did a little jump and watched them shake to and fro beneath her nightgown. ‘More like silly putty.’


******

“So I hear you’re selling your motorcycle.”

It had been the first time Xander had said anything to William since the beginning of practice.

“Who said?” William asked as he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. He did a quick glance behind him to make sure Sarah was still in his sight and not being bad. When he saw his little girl using the bench of the bleachers as a balance beam he smiled. ‘My little tumble of terror’.

From the corner of Xander’s eye he made sure to pay attention to the children, making sure everything was alright. His whistle was twirled around his index finger, ready for any scolding that may be necessary.

“Anya. Buffy told her.”

“Oh…” William nodded and looked back out at the kids chasing after the ball to the opposite end of the field.

“So, what’s with that?” Xander asked before blowing his whistle and yelled out for the kids divide into pairs and practice their passing.

“What’s with what?” William placed his finger in his right ear, trying to make the ringing sound to stop from Xander’s quick whistle action. ‘Stupid whelp…think he’s got all the power using Anya’s whistle.’

“Is there a main reason you’re giving up your pride and joy or...?” Xander decided to leave the question hanging.

“I don’t use it anymore, needed the extra cash.” William shrugged as he watched Matthew practice his passing with some other kid.

“Daddy can we go?” William looked down when he felt the little girl tugging on his hand. Sarah was pouting and looking really bored. With a quick glance at his watch he thought the little girl was just on time for when she usually starts to complain about wanting to go home.

“Another couple minutes lamb.” William said, “Why don’t you practice more of your balance beam thing over there.” He motioned back to the bleachers.

“I don’t wanna.” She pouted harder this time and kneeled down at his feet. She started picking at pieces of grass and glare across the field at her brother.

“Someone is the grumpy girl today.” Xander laughed.

William rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “You got no bloody idea.”

“Hear about Cordelia?” Xander changed the subject.

“Ya…not a big shocker if you ask me.”

“Ya, guess so. Seemed to have gotten Buffy thinking, huh?”

William did a little suspicious sideways glance before turning fully to Xander. “How’s that?”

“Oh you know…the whole bored Angelus thing…” Xander spoke freely, not even noticing the look of confusing passing on his friends face.

“Bored Angelus thing?”

‘What was the whelp talking about?’ William found it a little weird that Xander knew something about Buffy before he did.

“Ya…you now.”

“No I don’t.” William said honestly, he tugged Xander’s arm to make him look him in the eye. “What did she say?”

“You don’t know?”

“No…you tell me.”

From the tone in the Brit’s voice, Xander decided to be upfront—no more withholding information.

“Angelus left his family because he obviously wasn’t the family guy type; told Cordelia that he was bored with the whole scene of being a husband and dad.”

William paused and let the information sink in. ‘Okay…not that surprising’. Then when his mind drifted back to his wife, William quickly asked, “And why did that get Buffy thinking…?”

“I don’t know…that’s what Anya said.” Xander shrugged and then blew his whistle, yelling at the children to stop the drills and take a quick water break. When he turned back to a confused William he continued, “I’m sure it was nothing important…just girl talk.” With a comforting pat on the back, Xander walked away.

“Just girl talk…” William nodded, but he still wasn’t convinced.

******

Subject: Friday Night Special for Saturday afternoon
Date: Friday, 6 June 2008 23:30:14 -0400
From: moneygal090580@hotmail.com
To: Goldilocks041480@hotmail.com


Buffy peeked between her fingers covering her face; she still couldn’t believe it was still there. Anya’s promised email.

‘I’ve decided that you may need a few more sites if you’re not satisfied with the pirate theme...even though it's super hot :)’ Anya wrote.

As Buffy scrolled down the lengthy email, she noticed that Anya had way too much fun with this. There were at least 30 websites and all of them were ranked according to Anya like hotel resorts. Five stars…one star…four stars…three stars… five star…‘Oh Xander, do you know what you married?’

When she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing, and the sound of Sarah yelling at her brother about how much she despised soccer, Buffy instantly closed down out of her email.

“Buffy?”

“Coming…” Buffy hated the finger touch mouse pad on William’s laptop; she wondered why it didn’t take forever for her husband to get anything done. ‘Well duh Buffy, you’re uncoordinated with technology …just like you first were with driving…and cooking…and obviously now being kinky.’

By the time she had shut down and was getting out of the swivel chair, William was standing near the office door.

“Hey…” he said quietly, he ignored for the moment the sound of Sarah yelling his name.

“Hey…” she said with a smile.

“What are you doing?” he asked as he looked around inside the office.

“Nothing…” she lied.

“How was soccer and dance?” she changed the subject and walked a bit closer to him.

“Some old, same old.”

Buffy frowned and said, “Well I can do it next week if you want to switch up a bit.”

William raised an eyebrow, ‘Weird…’ “Nah…I got it.”

“If you don’t like it, I’ll do it.” She argued back.

"I said it's fine..."

"But I want to."

"....fine."

"Fine."

Buffy slipped by William in the doorframe and started yelling for Sarah and Matt.

When William was left alone he muttered to himself after a brief moment of silence, "Jut girl talk…ya right” he said sarcastically.

‘Something is up…’ was his last thought before he turned around on his heel and followed his wife.



TBC...

Chapter 4:

Saturday Night…



“You know, I’ve been thinking, maybe we should consider getting that puppy Matt wants.” Buffy said in bed later that night while painting her nails.

William, who was lying beside her with his nose buried in a book, scrunched up his face in confusion. He gave her a sideways glance and saw she was not looking at him, just continuing to paint her thumb nail a light pink color, oblivious to the crazy stare she now receiving. All day long she had been like this, saying random ideas that were a little extreme… a little non-Buffy. William thought the weirdness would have stopped with their moment in the office, but it seemed to carry though the rest of the night…like at dinner…

‘I think I may dye my hair back to it’s an original color, what do you think?’ she asked over the quiet dinner table.

William’s fork paused in mid-bite. His eyes traveled up and across the table at Buffy, watching her poke through her salad, moving the tomatoes around and jabbing at random lettuce leaves. When she got the feeling that her entire family was staring at her, she finally looked up to see that they indeed were.


William sat up in bed, shut his book, and leaned back against the headboard with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t look at her just yet, his mouth was too busy acting like a fish—opening and closing, being unsuccessful with forming words at the moment.

Buffy sat her pink nail polish down on the nightstand and blew lightly on her wet nails.

“His birthday is coming up in September…could be an early gift or something…” Buffy continued on about getting a puppy.

When Buffy took one final blow at her nails she looked up and saw William staring forward, looking as if he was going to say something but at the same time thinking very hard at choosing his words—at one pointing mouthing something to himself.

“Will?”

“Wait! Wait!” he held up a hand, stopping her from continuing on, “My mine hasn’t reached the point where you are yet.”

“What?”

William once again held up a finger, telling her ‘give me a minute’. At the gesture, Buffy’s confused stare had turned into an irritated one. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest and waited.

“Okay…” William nodded and turned to face his wife, “I have now entered the crazyland that you have been visiting all day long…” he waved his hand, motioning back to her, “As you were saying.”

”If you are going to be all funny about it forget it.” She muttered, leaning over to her nightstand to get a magazine so she can ignore him for the rest of the night.

“I’m the bleeding funny one? Me?” William exclaimed, “Do you know what words actually came out of your mouth a minute ago? Because you said ‘dog’…you want to get a dog…a dog that for two years straight had been off the table at getting. The kids automatically go to me now because they know the answer will be a dead ‘no’ from you.”

Buffy took a page corner and flipped it with a snap. She certainly was going to engage in conversation if she was going to get lectured.

“Buffy?” he nudged his foot underneath the covers to hit her leg to get her attention.

Buffy looked up at him with narrow eyes and kicked him back underneath the covers a bit harder than he did.

“Oww!” he whined and kicked her with the same strength she used.

“Oww!” she shouted when his foot came in contact with her shin.

“Can you please talk to me—“

William was cut off when he was blindsided by a shove that caused half his body to tumble to the side and out of bed. The only part of his body that stayed on the bed was his feet.

“Bloody hell woman.”

Uncaring, Buffy raised her neck up to see him down on the floor. “You deserved it.” She said with a sigh and looked back down at her magazine.

“Buffy what—“

”Night…” she said as she shut off the lamp on her nightstand, threw her magazine on the floor, and curled up under the covers, leaving William to navigate his way back into bed in the dark.

Buffy stared at the wall and listened to William make his way off the ground and turn on his lamp on his nightstand.

“Buffy?”

”She’s sleeping.” She whispered, “Shh…”

”Luv…” he started to use his warning voice that he often used with the kids, “Want to be a dear and tell me why the bleeding hell you just did that?”

Buffy sighed; she knew he wouldn’t give up until they talked this out. They both followed the common rule for married couples: don’t go to bed angry. She shifted off her side and laid down on her back, forcing herself to look at him.

“I’m sorry okay?” she said quickly, and then thought up an excuse “I’m PMSing….”

“No, no, no…you aren’t getting out of this with that one.” He said as he pointed a finger at her. “You used that last week.”

”I’m pregnant?” she smiled as she came up with a different excuse.

“I hardly doubt that…but it would explain your weird behavior today.” William noted, “You’ve been secretive for a while now and I’ve let it go, giving you space...but pushing me off the bleeding bed was the final straw, so spill. I know something is bothering you.”

With that, William sat on the bed and waited. Buffy looked down at the puffy comforter and started to pick at a lose thread. She didn’t know how to begin—should she start with Cordelia and Angelus, the motorcycle he sold the other night, or the whole ‘whatever happened to Spike’ matter?

”Babe…come on…can’t be this complicated.” William whispered gently as he rubbed her leg on top of the covers.

‘Oh honey, you don’t know the thoughts that run through my mind’ Buffy thought to herself.

“It’s…it’s just a mid-life crisis or something…” Buffy started, which wasn’t technically a lie. “Cordelia’s separation just made me think of us and—“

”And how you’re lucky you get to kick me off the bed every once and a while?” he smiled.

Buffy rolled her eyes, “I’m sorry okay…you made me mad, poking fun of me and all.” She nudged her foot and hit him lightly on the leg.

William bit his lip and shook his head; his wife sure did drive him crazy sometimes. Getting into her head was tough sometimes; it was like monkey’s trying to open a jar. With a sigh he got up and crawled into bed beside her.

“You’re a onion love.” He said as he grabbed her and held her close to him under the covers. Buffy smiled and ran her hand up and down his torso.

“Onion?”

“There are layers upon layers of you that I can never find without crying myself mad in the process.”

”Umm…sorry?”

William told her to think nothing of it and kissed her forehead.

”Xander told me you talked to Anya about this whole Cordelia and Angelus thing.” Buffy’s hand froze on his stomach and she tensed up. “Something about being bored?” He noted her stillness, knowing he touched a nerve with her.

“Ya…Angelus said he was bored with Cordelia.” Buffy said quietly, “It was the reason he left.”

William snorted, “That nit can’t keep his balls still huh? Now I feel kind of sorry for Queen C.”

“Ya…”

”Doesn’t explain still why you’re acting funny though…changing your hair color? A dog? Are you the bored one now?”

Buffy ripped herself out of his arms and sat up. “What?! No…I’m not bored…I would never never never be bored.”

”Whoa….love…” William was taken back a bit; he noticed that she looked physically upset at the question that he thought was merely innocent.

“I’m not bored.” She said again.

”Whoa…calm down. I just thought you would be because you’re cooped up all day long with kids and you gave up your job a year ago.” He said as he sat up too and placed his arm around her back.

Buffy let out a deep breath and her heartbeat went back to its regular pace. He didn’t hit the nail on the head but he was close, he just got everything all mixed up and the complete opposite. William though SHE was the bored one, that being a mother for seven years had worn her down a bit. He thought the dog and hair were for her and not for him. It gave Buffy a little bit of reassurance that William wasn’t thinking about his quiet and not so exciting life as being a teacher--that those thoughts weren’t popping into his head ever minute.

“I’m not mad love…if you want to do something different we can get a dog if that makes you happy.”

“I’m fine William. I-I just wanted your opinion on the hair thing…it was a random idea, and the dog thing…well, maybe I changed my mind. Can’t a girl change her mind? It has nothing to do with my happiness it was merely for the family. I don’t want to be the party pooper and all.”

”You’re not. I was actually started to agree with you on the dog thing.” William said.

They both lied back down, Buffy still being held close to William’s body.

“You were?” she whispered.

“Ya…don’t really need a dog…got my kitten right here.” He said with a smile and squeezed her close.

TBC…

Chapter 5:

After Buffy and William’s little chat in bed that one night, things pretty much went back to normal around the household. Buffy was happy that her temporary insane trip was indeed what it was—temporary. She decided to stop over analyzing every little aspect of her and William’s life and just be herself. After all, William didn’t seem to have a problem with the way their lives were running, so why should she worry?

As the end of June went by and the beginning of July started, Buffy already had enough distractions to keep her mind from wonder. It was getting close to that time of year where chaos was not rare in the Pratt home. For the Fourth of July, Buffy and William always played hostess to a BBQ for a bunch of family, friends, and neighbors. The party was always a success, but also tons of work. It didn’t help that Sarah and Matthew’s sleep away camp was scheduled to start the day after the 4th of July. Buffy’s items on her shopping list was at its all time high, after buying hamburgers and hot dogs she had to remember not to forget sunscreen lotion and a first aid kit.

Buffy had to admit, it would have helped if it wasn’t Sarah’s first time leaving home for an extensive period of time. With Matthew, when it was his first time away at camp, Buffy called the camp more than her son called home. After the third day, the overstressed mother finally got the point to relax once she talked with Matthew and got the third degree that she was embarrassing him in front of all the other kids when he kept getting called away from activities to speak with his mother. Buffy learned the hard way that her son was resourceful and can adjust to any kind of environment. However, he was a boy…and boys were a little bit different from girls. So, once again Buffy was an overstressed mother when packing her little girl way for camp.

“Buffy, she doesn’t need this much shampoo.” William mentioned as he looked inside the tiny pink duffel bag and pulled out two bottles of L’Oreal. “The camp says they will provide the kids with toiletries.”

“I am going to give them shampoo William…” Buffy argued, “Matt takes it every year and I’m giving it to her. I mean, we have no clue what their shampoo is made of…could be just hand soap and water thrown together in a bottle.”

“Whatever happened to the term ‘roughing it’?”

Buffy shoved the shampoo bottles back in the zipped baggy so they would explode on Sarah’s clothes, and put it back inside the duffel. “That term is outdated” she muttered.

“Hardly….they will have to learn to live without the comfort of their own things sometime, love. Might as well be sooner than the later.” William pointed out.

“….fine….we can do that….” Buffy continued to fold tiny pink underwear and little socks coming out of the laundry basket and stuff them inside the duffel. “Next year….”

William rolled his eyes while his back was turned from his wife.

“She’s a girl, William. Packing a suitcase is always going to be this way; unnecessary shoes and dresses will forever be our fault.”

“If you know it’s a fault already, why don’t you fix it?” he asked.

“Like I said, we’re girls…packing is our one fault that we can admit to…we don’t change it, we work around it.”

“It’s funny, our little queen world traveler isn’t up here packing herself…how do we know it’s not you instead of all girls?”

Buffy turned around and put her hands on her hips, facing his smirking face. “Don’t you need to clean the grill?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Mommy do you want a cookie?”

Around the island in the kitchen, Buffy’s mother, Matthew, Anya, and Sarah were decorating the desserts for the party tomorrow. It was crunch time on getting things done and Buffy and William needed every hand they could find to help out, including the very small.

“Sarah, no eating cookies, those are for tomorrow…mom, your making sure they don’t eat them right?” Buffy looked glanced over at Joyce and noticed she looked like a guilty grandmother.

“I figured one wouldn’t hurt.” Joyce shrugged.

“You let them have two.” Anya said as she licked a spoon full of blue frosting.

“Tattle.” Joyce scowled Buffy’s friend.

“Mommmmm….” Buffy whined as she grabbed a paper towel with water on it and started to clean up Sarah’s sticky hands, “You’re going to spoil their dinner.”

“No she won’t.” Matthew argued as he licked the sticky hands.

“Okay, okay, okay…everyone who hasn’t completed the second grade is to report outside in the yard to bug their father.” Buffy leaned over to peek outside the sliding glass door to see William scrapping the grease off the grill. She gave an evil smirk when she thought about the torture he’ll receive in about five seconds from two sugar addicted kids.

The two giggling children raced outside, Sarah calling her fathers name while Matthew went straight for his soccer ball.

“Oh Buffy, you didn’t have to send them off…they were fine, plus William’s busy.” Joyce comment as she went back to frosting the flag cake.

“Oh don’t worry about him…he had it coming.” Buffy smirked when she thought about him trying to be smart with her earlier about her packing techniques.

“How long do I have to keep making these?” Anya sighed, as she sat down a cookie on a plate.

“Well how many did you make?”

“I don’t know…we lost count.” Anya shrugged.

“Who was keeping count?” Buffy asked as she check on the decorative designs Anya was creating on the cookies.

“Sarah…she counted up till…well, how far can she count up to?” Anya asked.

“Please don’t tell me you guys made over a hundred cookies.” Buffy pleaded.

“Okay, we won’t….” Anya shrugged.

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Where are the rest?”

“Dining room dear.” Joyce said.

“Mom, I told you to keep an eye on her.”

“I was!”

“Not Sarah, her!” Buffy pointed to Anya who was licking the spoon, not caring that she was just insulted.

*~*~*~*~~

“What are we looking for again?” Anya asked while she sat on the second to last step on the basement stairs.

“Well, I’M looking for tiki torches that you place outside.” Buffy said as she searched through a box that had shovels, hoes, racks, and other gardening tools, “I’m unsure what you’re doing...oww.”

“You alright?” Despite Buffy’s cry in pain Anya didn’t move from her spot, nor flinch in concern.

“Stupid hoe…has sharp edges.” Buffy complained.

“Bleeding?”

“Nah…just scratch…no tetanus shot for me.”

“So, how’s kinkytown?” Anya asked as she dug under her nails to remove some dirt, or maybe it was a chocolate…she wasn’t sure.

“Kinky what?” Buffy panted after she pushed a heavy box to the side.

“You know, you and William…bringing sexy back and everything.”

“Anya!” Buffy scowled, “Shh!”

“Oh no one can hear us down here!” Anya waved it off, “I scream orgasm until I lose my voice and your mom still wouldn’t hear. You got good constructed walls.”

“I hope so…you’re husband helped built this house.” Buffy laughed.

“I told him to make them super thick for your late night activities.” Anya smiled.

“You what?” Buffy turned around a bit too fast because she found herself landing on top of a dusty old box.

“Kidding, kidding…” Anya waved as she walked toward William’s old pool table in the corner. However, when her back was turned from her friend she had the guilty look of admitting she did tell her husband to make the walls super thick for that specific reason.

Anya pulled out the eight ball from the one of the pockets and started rolling back and forth on top of the table top.

“How come you guys don’t play pool anymore?”

“I sucked at it pretty much.” Buffy laughed.

“And William?”

“He was good…real good; won a lot of date money playing...got to go to a lot nice restaurants thanks to that.”
“So he stopped because….?”

“I don’t know. No one wanted to play with him after his band split up…Xander wasn’t any good…”

“Xander’s good!” Anya defender her husband.

“I meant at playing pool.” Buffy turned around and said, “Not in bed.”

“Xander’s good at everything.” Anya pouted.

“Say that to him and you’re golden.” Buffy pointed her finger at her friend.

“Already am.” Anya stuck out her tongue and wiggled it at her friend. Buffy laughed.

“Are you going to help me?”

Anya sighed, “Do I have to?”

“No…I’m not going to force you.” Buffy shook her head at her friend’s unwillingness to help. She froze when she thought up an idea, “I’ll give you five bucks if you find them.”

“I’m on it.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Hey, look at this!” Anya called out from the corner of the basement.

Buffy picked up a box that held the outdoor Christmas lights and sat it aside. Her basement was more of a mess than when she first came down. She turned when Anya picked up a big box and started to carry it toward her.

“The tiki torches wouldn’t be in there…they would be loose.” Buffy shook her head at what Anya found.

“Forget about that for a second. I found something that I’M even interesting in…” Anya smirked.

“What?”

Anya sat the box in front of Buffy’s feet so she could read what William wrote in black permanent marker.

‘Spike’s Things’


TBC…

Chapter 6:


Buffy got this funny weird feeling at the pit of her stomach as she stood and stared down at that box. ‘Spike’s Things’. It seemed like it belonged to a distant relative, maybe even someone dead, not her own husband.

“Where’d you find this?” Buffy asked Anya as she kneeled down and ran her fingers over the name ‘Spike’ printed on the cardboard.

“Was in the corner…hidden.”

”Hidden?” Buffy frowned, ‘Hidden…from me?’

“Well it certainly was collecting some dust over there.” Anya too kneeled down in front of the box. She started to pick at the duck tape with her finger nail.

“Wait!” Buffy stopped Anya, “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

After all, it was William’s old things, his own personal prized positions from the past.

“Buffy it’s not snooping, you own half of what he owns, remember?” Anya’s fingers slowly went back to picking at the edges of the tape.

“But it wouldn’t feel right.” Buffy shook her head and put her hands on top of Anya’s to once again stop her.

“Oh come on, you’re not curious at all?”

Curious, Buffy was curious like a cat at the moment. It had been so long since William referred to himself as Spike that she forgot what type of items would be stashed away.

“I am.” Buffy admitted.

“The lets, shall we?”

RIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP

“Anya!”

With a quick tug at the tape, Anya unsealed the box.

“Why’d you do that?!” Buffy complained when she saw that part of the brown cardboard came off along with the tape. ‘Now this looks highly noticeable that I was snoopy.’

“I had to do it before you changed your mind.” Anya smiled in triumph, “Now shall we? We already got this far…”

Anya wasted no time lifting the flaps of the box open and looking inside, barging into William’s past. Buffy heard a noise coming in the direction of the stairway. She stood up and raced over to the bottom step to listen.

“Well, well, well…looky what I found?” Anya teased as she lifted the black leather out of the box.

Buffy turned around and watched as Anya playfully slipped on Spike’s leather duster and roll up the long sleeves.

“This thing just screams sex…” Anya muttered as she glanced down at black engulfing her tiny frame, “You got a mirror down here?”

Buffy was in a daze, she shook her head ‘no’ as she continued looked over the black leather with recollection.

“This thing should be outlawed for being too sexy…” Anya laughed, “Did you guys ever do it with his coat still on?”

Buffy’s eyes widened, “What?”

“I’ll take that as a no then? Man, Buffy, what did you guys do for fun back then?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, no way was she going to talk with Anya about her past sex life. She already learned her lesson when she got that email last month from her friend. However, she had to admit to herself that the message was still sitting inside her inbox of her email.

“Give me that!” Buffy said as she tugged Spike’s coat off Anya’s body.

In her hands she felt the softness that the leather had against her skin.

‘I forgot how good this feels…’ she thought to herself.

She sniffed the material little bit and caught a whiff of cigarettes and bourbon.

“You know what you should do?” Anya started, “You should totally give that back to him and have a little fun while the kids are gone…”

“Anya!” Buffy scolded her.

‘…hmmm…that sounds a little bit appealing…’ Buffy thought to herself as she looked down at the duster.

“It could be fun…just saying…” Anya shrugged and started to go back up the stairs.

Buffy didn’t dare venture further inside the box of Spike’s old things. It just didn’t feel right looking through his stuff without him. She folded up the leather duster neatly, but not before sniffing the smell of the coat once more, she sneaked off to the office to grab some tape, and pushed the box back into the corner. Buffy only hoped that her jam packed schedule for the next few days would help her forget her new temptation to go back into the basement.

*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy shifted in bed. She couldn’t get comfortable enough to fall asleep. She spared a glance over at the empty spot next to her, William wasn’t there; actually, she had no clue where he was. She remembered him falling asleep not too long ago in his long pants and t-shirt beside her.

‘I should go look for him…’ she thought to herself.

However, she didn’t move. It felt like she was supposed to be here…waiting for something…waiting for…

A dark figure stood at the doorway.

Buffy jolted up and met his eyes.

“How’s it going love?”

“Spike?”

Buffy eyed the bright bleached blonde hair and the all black wardrobe as he prowled closer to her.

Spike started to display his trademark smirk, something that always said ‘I know you want me’.

‘What’s going on?’ Buffy thought to herself when he was only a foot away from the bed.

“Does my little Goldilocks miss me?” he whispered.

Buffy, memorized by the way he was staring at her, nodded silently.

“Does she need something?” Spike asked as he started to push her back on the bed so he was hovered right over her.

“Yes…” she whispered after she took a gulp.

‘Oh god yes…’

“Tell Spike what you need…” he started to run his face down her chest, over the top of her breasts, and down near her stomach. His lips grazed the cotton fabric of her tank top pajamas.

“I need you…”

Buffy didn’t know where this sudden swarm of passion was coming from, but she didn’t care. She didn’t question the hair at all or care to ask him where he got the dark clothes from. It was like she knew he was going to wear them.

“How badly do you need me?” his face started to come back up her body so he could look her in the eye.

“Badly…” Buffy panted, she reached up and ran her fingers through his shiny bright hair, checking to see if it was real.

“Does he not satisfy you?”

Buffy froze.

‘He? He who?’

“Do you want him to be naughty with you?”

‘William…’

“He’s you…” Buffy stated.

“Ya…he is…” Spike muttered.

“So…what’s going on? Why are you here? Aren’t you William?” she started to babble on, “Is this a dream?”

‘Yes…’

*~*~*~*~

Buffy’s eyes shot open and they darted wildly around the bedroom in the dark, sort of disorientated.

‘Where’s Spike?’

She turned over on her side and found William peacefully sleeping beside her.



TBC…

Chapter 7:



The sounds of William’s electric toothbrush and running water woke Buffy up from her deep sleep. For a few moments she just laid there, listening to him move around in the bathroom while thinking about her unforgettable dream she had. The image of Spike in black and in his coat was still fresh in her mind. The things he said, the things he did made her melt and squirm underneath the covers.

Buffy’s lips curled into a smile when she eyed the bathroom naughtily.

William exited the bathroom with his toothbrush still stuck in his mouth, the bristles still vibrating against the side of his cheek. He came around to Buffy’s nightstand, reaching for the glass of water sitting there so he could rinse out his mouth. William only got half way when he felt his dear wife make a grab at his arm.

“MMuffyy!” he protested, unable to say her name properly due to his toothbrush.

Buffy pulled his closer, took the toothbrush out of his mouth, and shut it off.

“Uuffy, what are you doing?” he grumbled, trying hard not to swallow his toothpaste or spit it out on her while talking, “I need to spit.”

Buffy didn’t care. After being teased by dream Spike she needed a little relief. A little morning delight was just wanted she need, and hopefully maybe afternoon delight later if she had her way.

She pulled him into a kiss, tasting the peppermint on his lips. She tried to get her tongue into his mouth but William didn’t allow it until she felt him gulp. Buffy moaned and gripped the collar of his t-shirt to prevent his from leaving.

When they finally pulled apart she smiled as she whispered, “Minty…”

William stared down at her with a confused look on his face.

“You made me swallow my toothpaste.” He said as he watched her run her hands all over his torso and up his arms.

“Sorry baby…” Buffy’s eyes lit up for a second, suddenly thinking of an idea that will help with her no-dream-sex frustration, “Let me make it up to you.”

Buffy reached for him once again but this time William saw her coming, he jolted his head back so she wouldn’t capture his lips, “Wait.”

’Wait?! Grrr…why wait?!!’ Buffy looked up at him with surprise.

William’s lower body wanted to kick the ass of William’s brain. It must have been the first time he didn’t give in to Buffy immediately.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked.

“Me?! What’s going on with me, what’s going on with you?! Don’t you want to do it?”

William wanted to but he just didn’t understand, no, correction, he just wasn’t use to Buffy jumping his bones out of the blue in the early morning.

“Of course I want to do it. Just, just wasn’t expecting to do it now.” He admitted. “It’s eight o’clock in the morning.”

“So? I want you now…”

William still thought she was acting peculiar so he had to ask, “Why?”

‘Why?!’ Buffy screamed inside her head, ‘I’m offering myself to him on a plate, practically begging him and he’s asking me ‘why’?’

Buffy growled and pushed him away, the moment was gone. The time for sex had come and William had pasted up his chances by opening his mouth.

“Forget it.” She got up off the bed and started for the bathroom, pushing his toothbrush in his chest for him to take.

William turned around when he heard a click from the lock on bathroom door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy was too busy at the picnic, entertaining Sarah and Matthew’s little neighborhood friends, to notice William checking up on her constantly from across the yard.

He was sort of on a routine schedule while he manned the grill—flip a burger, look over at Buffy, turn the hot dogs, look over at Buffy, serve a finished hamburger to someone, look at Buffy.

“Hey Will, how’s it going?” Xander asked as he came up to his friend with a beer in his hand.

“Great…fine…” William’s eyes darted back over to Buffy talking with Anya, “…bloody perfect.”

*~*~*~*~*~

“I don’t know what to do Anya, he refused me…turned me down and started questioning me.”

Anya shook her head in sympathy, ‘Poor Buffy…’ she thought to herself.

‘How can I make this better?’ Anya thought for a moment before blurting out, “Did you flash your tits?” Anya asked.

“What? Anya Shhhh!!!” Buffy looked around the area that they were standing at; Sarah was only 10 feet away. “Don’t say that word around kids, primarily my kids!”

“Sorry…” Anya shrugged it off, uncaring, “But did ya?”

“No…he wouldn’t let me get that far, he wouldn’t let me get anywhere.” Buffy grumbled as she sat out a new bottle of ketchup and mustard on the picnic table.

“I wouldn’t think too much into it. You must have taken him off guard.” Anya reassured her.

Buffy turned around and watched William talk with Xander. Her eyes widen a bit when a thought popped into her head. “You didn’t tell Xander anything did you, about the box and coat?”

“No!” Anya waved that off, “Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t waste my time going over your sexual problems; it would be a total mood killer for Xander.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~

When night fell and all of the guests were full from their dessert, a few of the kids decided they wanted to play kickball with Matthew’s glow in the dark ball. A few of the adults gave into the pleading children to play while the others sat in lawn chairs and watched. When William noticed that Buffy was neither playing with the children nor conversing with the other guests, he looked back over to the patio to see her getting a head start on cleaning up from the picnic.

When he saw her go through the sliding glass door and into the house alone he decided it was the perfect time to speak with her.

*~*~*~*~

The kitchen was dark when Buffy entered with a handful of paper cups and plates. She dumped of the items on the table and went over to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water. The temperature hit a maximum of 92 degrees for the Fourth of July; the cool air coming from the opened refrigerator felt nice against her skin. Buffy was tempted to reach into the freezer and take out some ice and drop it down her shirt.

‘Mmmm…or Spike could eat ice cream off my stomach…’ Buffy smiled to herself when she pictured the beautiful fantasy in her head. ‘Or he could put ice down the back of my neck and then glide it down with his tongue to…oh ya…’

“Luv?”

Buffy turned around when she saw William open the screen door and walk into the kitchen. He stood there for a few moments, looking a little bit uncertain about whether her mood had changed or not since this morning.

‘Even though he should still be given the silent treatment and it’s really hot for sex right now…oh god, do I need him…’ Buffy thought as she sat her bottle of water down on the counter and walked closer to him.

‘Okay mate, talk as little as possible and just let her lead…’ William reminded himself. He thought it was funny that he was thinking these thoughts, it’s not like he never had sex with her. They had two let rugrats outside for prove of that.

“I’m kind of in the dark here at the moment love…am I in trouble for what I did this morning?” It was a little ironic that he said that because they were literally in the darkness of the kitchen, a little bit of the patio lamp near the door gave them light but not much. Through the open window over the sink the Buffy and William could hear their kids laughing with the other children. However, at the moment Buffy didn’t feel like playing the role of mother, she felt like she was twenty years old all over again.

Bits and parts of the past started surfacing through Buffy’s mind quickly. Old memories, ones that she had no clue how she easily forgotten, have proven herself wrong when she told Anya that she never had kinky sex in places other than her bed.

‘How could I forget the time in our kitchen in our old apartment…?’ Buffy wondered, ‘The day after that we had to buy a new table…’ Buffy eyed the table that was currently in their kitchen, ‘…which is that table right there…’

“Oh you’re in trouble alright…” Buffy said as she let her eyes wander around all the bear areas of skin on his body, areas that she could easily kiss for hours on end.

William raised an eyebrow; he caught Buffy’s lusting eyes practically undressing him in her mind. He didn’t question her or resist her this time when she reached for him.

Their kisses were soft and innocent at first, kissing like they normally did when the kids were nearby. The couple was pretty much use to the chorus of ‘Ewww’ when Sarah and Matthew caught them in a lip lock, causing them to instantly break apart.

However, after they realized they were indeed alone now, Buffy decided to let her hands go out to play around. William soon followed her lead when he grabbed her right butt and gave it a tiny squeeze. Buffy moaned her approval and let her hands skim down the center of his chest and rest on his belt buckle.

“Mmmm….” She hummed out loud.

They took a breath of air and William whispered into her ear, “I don’t know what’s got you so horny love…but I like it.”

‘Mmm…you sound so much like Spike now…’ she thought to herself in a daze. She was tempted to moan his old nickname out loud and let him in on her own little secret thoughts she’s been having recently just so she could go ask him to get the coat in the basement and have sex with her while he wore it. But she decided against that at the moment, she didn’t want him to get confused, ask a number of questions, and stop what he was doing. What he was doing was too good to interrupt.

“We should continue this after everyone leaves.” He whispered.

‘What? No! We can’t stop!’ Buffy thought to herself, ‘When did he become the rational thinker out of the two of us?’ Buffy eyed William’s brown hair and instantly got her answer. ‘I love you William…but for got sake let it out baby! I’m not going to hold you back anymore…your free to be as bad as you want...seriously, go wild…you can start with me.’

“No…I want you now…” Buffy whined and kept her hands behind his neck. “Now is good. Forget about them…they won’t hear.”

William smiled at her pouting but pulled away from her slowly.

“Later, love…promise. Upstairs…”

‘No, no, no…down here…right here…now!’ Buffy thought as she bit her lip and started to shift around like she had ants in her pants, ‘On the table…’

William kissed her on the forehead quickly as he went back outside. Once he was out of earshot range Buffy groaned and whimpered in the darkness, “Nooooo…so close!”


TBC…

Chapter 8:



After skimming over the calendar the next morning, Buffy realized that she forgot how long 3 weeks really was. It was more than just 21 days; it was 21 dinners without the kids, 21 nights without story time with Sarah, 21 days of her life without Barbie’s cluttering the hallway and Lego pieces all over the living room carpet, which hurt when you stepped on them with your bare feet….21 days too long away from her children.

“Now remember, Sweetie, if you have any problems don’t hesitate to call us. You know your phone number right?” Buffy asked her little girl as she kneeled in front of her.

The camp bus was starting to fill up with children sticking their hands out the window and bouncing on the seats. They only had a few minutes to say their goodbyes.

“Buffy, she’ll be fine.” William said as he patted Matthew’s shoulder, “She has Matt there with her. He knows what he’s doing, right?”

“Can’t I pretend I don’t know her?” Matt looked up at his father with pleading eyes. At William’s stern glare he pouted and muttered, “Ya, ya, ya…I’ll help her.”

“If you ignore her you’re not going next year.” William warned.

Buffy started going through a mental check list in her head, thinking if she forgot anything.

“Oh! Poison ivy…stay away from poison ivy!” Buffy warned them both.

“What’s that?” Sarah asked as she hugged her doll to her stomach.

“Umm….” Buffy couldn’t remember herself; she looked over to William for an answer. “Do you remember?”

“Hmmm…I think its leaves of three let it be love.” William commented.

“How sure are you?”

William shrugged, “90% sure…”

For Buffy that wasn’t good enough, “Stay away from all leaves guys…” she told Sarah and Matthew.

“Love, don’t make them nervous…” William whispered.

“Okay everyone!” A camp counselor wearing a ‘Purple Moutain Camp’ shirt announced around the parameter of the bus where parents were gathered with their children, “All kids are to line up so we can check off their name and get them on the bus! Single file over here!”

“Guess that’s you guys…” William smiled at Sarah and Matt, “Come here love.”

Sarah rushed over to William, dropped her doll to the ground, and wrapped her arms around her father’s neck for a hug.

“Love you sweetie…be good…” he whispered to her.

Buffy hugged and kissed Matthew and reminded him to look after Sarah. Both William and Buffy switched kids, Matthew hugging his dad and Buffy squeezing Sarah extra tight.

“What’s our phone number again?” Buffy whispered in Sarah’s ear low enough so William wouldn’t hear. Sarah recited the 10 digits just as quiet as Buffy asked.

“Good…”

‘Now I can sleep a little bit at ease tonight…’

William gripped Buffy’s hand when he watched their two kids go up onto the bus and get lost in the crowd of youngsters. They stayed until Buffy no longer could see the bus in the distance.

“You okay love?” William asked when he noticed that Buffy hasn’t said a word yet or even cried.

Buffy gave a watery smile, “I’m good.” ‘21 days too long…’ ‘she thought as the two of them walked back to the car. Buffy stole a glance at William when he wasn’t looking, ‘Or maybe 21 days isn’t long enough.’

*~*~*~*~

After the children were gone, Buffy really didn’t know what to do with herself while William worked part time at Xander’s uncle’s mechanical shop. The job was only 4 days a week and brought some spare money into the Pratt household. William started doing it five summers ago when he was trying to learn how to fix his motorcycle, but by the end of that summer he walked away knowing how to piece together a whole car and a paying job. It was a handy talent; one that Buffy had taken advantage of when she accidentally hit a tree while driving home two summers ago. The couple thought since Buffy had a bad record in driving that it was sort of necessary for someone in the family to have car repair skills.

“Mom?” After Buffy spent a few hours in her house she was starting to get a little lonely and decided to visit her mother’s house.

“Yes?” Joyce asked while she started to fold laundry on the kitchen counter.
“What was dad like before you married him?”

Joyce eyed her daughter suspiciously, “Why do you want to know?”

Mr. Summers had been an absent part of Buffy, Joyce, and Buffy’s sister, Dawn, lives for so long that they hardly ever mentioned him. The man was a runaway from his own family even before Buffy graduated from high school and met Spike. Mr. Summers never even came to their wedding; never saw a photo of his only grandkids. To Matt and Sarah, William’s father, Rupert, was their true grandfather.

“I was just curious…” Buffy muttered as she helped fold some of her mother’s socks in little balls.

“He was warm and loving…liked his work but didn’t love it, not yet anyway.”

“So he changed once you got married?”

“A few years after I had you I would say he did.” Joyce admitted, “Providing for his family became a little bit more to him, work was treated like it was a good friend. He felt at ease with it and cared for it like it was a child.”

‘William’s not like that though…’ Buffy concluded. ‘Work was work for him…for all I know. But still, something must have changed Spike into the restrained man that he is today.’ Buffy admitted that it wasn’t a bad thing for their family, William being less dangerous and less wild. She just wished it wasn’t in the bedroom. Spike was so adventurous and daring; he thrived off of the rush he got from his audience cheering when he played in his band. He used that adrenal and put it all on her, which she liked very much.

‘If only he could be a good dad during the day and a wild husband at night.’ Buffy thought to herself. She looked up at her mom; she certainly couldn’t share these things with her mother, the grandmother of her innocent children. Buffy figured Anya was better fit for this conversation.

*~*~*~*~*

“So you want Spike back huh?” Anya asked as she leaned against doorframe of her front door.

“No! Yes!! Look, can we please talk about this inside?”

”Lesson the first Mrs. Pratt, sex is a little bit more casual and open now.”

“Open, yes, but that doesn’t make it right.”

”Right is for 60 year ladies like your mom, not for girls that have a hot husbands like us…well, you use to have a hot husband.”

”He’s still hot!” Buffy protested.

“And you’re here because…?” Anya smirked when she caught Buffy there.

“He’s still hot Anya…I still love him and think he’s attractive.”

“But more attractive when he was Spike, yes?”

Buffy looked down shyly at her clasped hands, deciding not to met Anya’s eyes for what she was about to say. “It’s not really his fault…I know he became a more settled down person when he married me and became a father, but I feel like he had to do it. I pretty much pushed all the Spike out of him when I told him I wanted him to sell his bike and…and…”

“And?”

“And when I told him to choose between the band and me.”

“You did what?” Anya was a bit surprised.

“I—I was five months pregnant with Matt at the time! My hormones were sky high. I was angry when I said it and he automatically quit a week after that. He didn’t give me a chance to explain or stop him.”

“Why were you angry at him?”

“I wasn’t angry at him…I was angry at Angel…”

”Angel? Cordy’s husband?”

“Ya…he-he came back one day, back from Harvard, telling me that my baby’s father is a starving artist, and that I’ll be left behind if he makes it big or he’ll be a burden to me if he fails.”

“Wow…”

”Ya…”

“And you, what, went straight up to Spike and say ‘decide’?”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it.”

”Obviously you do or you wouldn’t be here.”

Buffy sighed, “I gave him the impression that I didn’t want the life of a musician’s wife…that I wanted…”

”Vanilla sex?”

“Come Anya, I already feel bad enough…now can you sort of understand why I keep freaking out that he’ll leave me?”

“I’d leave you if I was him.”

”Thanks…you are being very helpful you know?” Buffy grumbled.

“I’m just being honest with you…you were selfish and wrong to do what you did…you were played by Angel, you thought what he was saying was true, you admired his success as a lawyer and turned to Spike and basically asked him ‘Why can’t you be like him?’ ”

”I know!! You don’t think I don’t know that? And here I am complaining about what he can’t give me when he truly gave up everything for me!” Buffy yelled as tears formed at the corner of her eyes.

There was a brief pause between the women, “I didn’t only take away his dream… I took away his identity.” Buffy whispered, devastated in what she had done.

‘All this time it had been me along, me to blame.’

”I don’t know about that…Spike and William, they are sort of one of the same, William’s just a bit more proper, like you said.”

“Oh come on Anya, I’m erasing Spike…I HAVE erased Spike! He’s…he’s like slowly fading away…he thinks I won’t love him if he bleaches his hair and wears the coat, but that is not true. I never wanted him to change!”

”You seemed alright with it for the last few years…”

Buffy knew Anya was right, if Cordelia had never barged her way into her life with her issues of Angel leaving her, she wouldn’t be this concerned…she wouldn’t have noticed what her husband has become. Had the transformation from Spike to William been so fast that she’d miss it completely? She couldn’t even remember the day he stopped bleaching her hair, or the day he stopped wearing his coat.

“I’ve been stupid these last few years.”

“Buffy, why waste your time fighting what he’s become? He doesn’t seem to be complaining and you just admitted to me that you still love him, so I don’t see the problem here. Well, except for the 1950s sex thing, this can be fixed if you tell him what you need.”

‘Tell him what I need…’ Buffy didn’t think that sounded right, ‘He should be telling me what he needs…’

“I got to go…” Buffy turned around and went back to her car parked at the curb.

“Go where?”

“Out drinking!”

“Wait, what?” she whispered to herself, “Buffy wait!!” Anya yelled out as she shut her door and ran after her friend.

*~*~*~*~*~

“…so Anya’s not at home either?” William asked through the phone. He was pacing around the living room, distressed, worried about Buffy’s whereabouts. When he got home and she wasn’t there he looked all over the house to find a note for him to read but he came out empty handed.

He had been calling around and found out that Buffy stopped by her mother’s house for a brief chat and then left. Currently he was talking with Xander, who also had an absent wife at the moment.

“She leave a note?” William asked.

“No man…you think they just forgot to turn on their phones?” Xander asked.

“No, well…maybe…but Buffy would call even if her phone died…she would figure out a way and call.” William said as he ran his hand through his brown hair.

‘It’s getting dark out.’ He noted to himself as he glanced outside.

“Hold on man, I got a call on the other line…might be Anya.”

“Alright.”

William sighed and sat down on the couch, he’s right leg started bouncing around like a jackhammer due to his nerves. He waited a few minutes and then was reconnected back with Xander.

“That was Anya, she’s on her way to your place with Buffy.”

”Wait, why is Anya bringing her home?” William asked.

“I don’t know…”

The doorbell rang and William, without a thought, hung up on Xander to rush over and open the door.

“Thanks Will, kind of got my hands full here as you can see.” Anya said.

“Heyyyyy you got the door open!!” Buffy drunkenly said as she leaned against Anya.



TBC….And yes, that last line was from FRIENDS, TOW Everyone Turns 30…with drunken Monica. I just love that line. So just picture Buffy saying it the same way Monica did because I just love the way Courtney Cox delivered that line. 

Chapter 9:



“Is she drunk?!” William tilted his head down so he could meet Buffy’s dilated eye. When she started to giggle and sway while Anya held her upright, he caught a whiff of her breath and grimaced.

‘Got my answer there.’ He thought to himself.

”What gave her way Will?” Anya asked sarcastically. “Help me, would ya?”

William moved forward and let Buffy cling to him. He held her waist to keep her from falling, she was almost completely deadweight.

“What happened?” William looked back at Anya.

“She wanted to go out drinking…I played designated driver.” Anya shrugged and looked back at Buffy closing her eyes as she leaned her head on William’s shoulders, “I’d get her inside before she throws up on your neck.”

”Why didn’t you stop her?” William barked out at Anya. He looked back down at his wife when she let out a groan.

“I don’t know…it was either drink or cry…she was going to do it even if I wasn’t there. I just thought she was in better company if I was with her, you know.”

William’s anger he felt against Buffy’s friend slowly started to melt away; when Anya said it like that he was more grateful that she was with his wife tonight. He didn’t want to think about her drinking and driving or drinking and running into the wrong person.

“Well…why did she start drinking anyway? Did something happen? Her mum said she was fine when she left her house.”

Anya bit her lip; she wasn’t supposed to get involved with this.

“I think its best that Buffy talks about this with you.”

”Well I think she won’t remember in the morning, Anya. I think it’s best if you do it—you were out with her all night. You must have a clue why she was getting hammered.”

“Umm…she’s just a bit concern about some things…”

“What things?”

“Look, William, I don’t want to get involved in this.” Anya crossed her arms against her chest. “Buffy will tell you…or show you…”

“What the hell are you talking about? Anya, if this is serious and I should know and you’re keeping it from me—“ he warned.

“It’s not a big deal…Buffy’s just acting like it is.”

“Well, can you give me a hint at least?” he asked as he started to juggle Buffy around in his arms when she started to move.

“Hint huh? Well…it starts with an S and ends with ‘pike’.” Anya gave him a knowing look for a moment before starting back down the walkway.

William watched Anya leave with a confused expression on his face. He glanced down at Buffy, passed out against him and muttered, “Me?”

*~*~*~*~

William kicked the door shut as he carried Buffy through the front door. It had been a long time since he’d done this for her. The last time was for Anya’s bachelorette party. He understood playful drinking, but this?

As he walked toward the stairs he noticed that Buffy was starting to wake up.

“Love?”

“Mmm…Spike?”

It has been a long time since she’s called him that.

“Ya love?”

“Are you another dream?”

William frowned, “Dream?”

“Ya…you wanted to have your way with me and eat me all up.” Buffy smiled.

‘Is that why the other day in the kitchen…and in the bedroom that morning...?’ he thought to himself.

“It was very very very….” She sighed and continued, “Very nice…”

“Let’s get you to bed love and then you can tell me about it in the morning.” William said.

“Noooo!” Buffy protested and grabbed a hold of the banister to stop him from going up the stairs. “No…you-you big big tease…I wanted to do it on the table…do you, do you remember how we broke the last one?”

William nodded and continued to stare down at her, watching Buffy’s face go through a wave of emotions. He frowned when her dreamy state suddenly turned to crying.

“I’m sorry honey...” Buffy cried, “I’m sorry Spike…”

”Sorry for what pet?”

“Please don’t hate me…please-please don’t leave me…” her hands let go of the banister and went up to his shirt, clenching it tightly in her small fist.

“Why would I leave you?” William whispered.

“Because I deserve it.” She said softly before letting go of his shirt and slumping her head on his shoulder.

*~*~*~*~

He carefully maneuvered her out of her denim jacket and slipped off her shoes. For the first time William was glad the kids weren’t home for him to take care of—he had his hands full with just taking care of Buffy.

“Where are we?” Buffy asked as she drifted back into consciousness.

“Bedroom love.”

He tugged off her socks and threw them on the floor.

“Are you mad at me?” Buffy pouted and reached out to caress William’s cheek.

“No…”

“Yes you are…”

“Just…just confused a little.” William admitted.

“Confused about what? What happened?”

Buffy moaned and let her hand slip from his cheek so she could hold her head.

“What?” he asked when he saw her face scrunch up in pain, “What’s wrong?”

”Dizzy…pounding…dizzy pounding.”

“Do you need to throw up?”

“I don’t know.”

William went out of the room for a minute and came back with a bucket, one that Buffy use to use to clean the floors with. After tonight it will most defiantly be thrown away. He sat it next to Buffy’s bed.

“Here love, use this if you have the urge.”

Buffy turned and looked at the bucket and then smiled up at William, “I love you…”

It wasn’t the most romantic way to say the words but William smiled and nodded, humoring her.

“I know you do...now just close your eyes and sleep.”

“I don’t know if I can…my head hurts too much.”

William frowned and started to think up other things he could do to make her comfortable.

“Spike?”

The name still felt weird as she continued to use it.

“Yes?”

“Where’s your coat?”

“Umm…I don’t know…”

“Liar…you hid it from me…” she muttered, “You don’t want me to see….”

”See what, pet?”

He got a little snore in response. William let out a sigh and hung his head down, tired and still completely confused. It was a feeling he was starting to get use to in the past few days.

*~*~*~*~*~

William knew she was sobering up when he heard her mutter.

“William?”

He was lying on top of the covers with her, not sleeping. He couldn’t sleep; there was too much going on in his head at the moment.

“Pet?” he turned on his side when she turned on her side to face him.

William really hoped she wasn’t going to pick this moment to be sick on him.

“What time is it?”

He turned and looked at the clock, “6 am love…why?”

“You have to go to work at seven....” she muttered.

“Not going to work today…I’ll call in sick.”

“Why? Did—did you get drunk too?”

‘I was tempted…’ William admitted to himself.

“No, I want to stay with you today…take care of you.” he said as he reached out and rested his hand on her cheek. “Make sure you’re alright.” ‘Plus have a long talk with you…’ he added in his head.

“I’m okay…”

William raised an eyebrow at her.

“Except for the pounding in my head…and the nausea.” She admitted.

“You want some Advil?” he started to get up to fetch her something for the big hangover she was about to have.

“No…” she whined, “No…stay…just stay here…”

William lied back down to his previous position.

“Stay her with me…” she rested her hand on top of his hand and closed her eyes.

There was more meaning behind her request and he knew it.

“Okay…”

*~*~*~*~

William thought he just rested his eyes for a minute, but when he woke up he found himself alone in bed. He looked up and read the clock, ’11 am’. It had been a while since he slept in so late in the day.

When he heard a moan in the bathroom he decided to get up and follow it.

Buffy was leaning against the wall by the toilet and bathtub on the floor, she was holding her head in her hands grimacing.

“Hey.” he said as he stood by the doorway.

“Ahhhh….” She moaned, “Not so loud…” she whined.

“Want that Advil now?”

“Yes…” she whispered. One of her hands reached out for the pill while she continued to look down at the floor and clench her other hand to her head. “Please hurry.”

William shook his head at her as he poured the glass of water and gave her the pill.

“How much longer do you need before we talk?”

“Can we not…please…I’m already miserable here.”

“Sorry love, if you do the crime you need to answer to me…”

“I’m not one of the kids William.” She growled.

“I sure had to treat you like one last night…carrying you and dressing you....how much did you have last night?”

“I don’t know…I lost count after 4 drinks…” Buffy said, “Please don’t make me remember, it hurts to think.”

”Tough…that’s part of your punishment.”

”Punishment?” she finally looked up at him, “What did I do?”

“Where do I start?! For one, I didn’t know where the hell you were!” he gave her a hard stare, “For two hours I’ve calling around…talking to your mother, Xander, neighbors…looking for some sort of clue what the hell happened to you.”

Buffy closed her eyes and let a sigh, “Sorry.”

“Sorry is not going to cut it!” he snapped.

”Well then what do you want me to do?!” she yelled.

‘Owwwww…no more yelling…’ she thought when another wave of pain came over her.

“I want to know what’s going on right now. Anya said it has to do with me…now, don’t you think a bloke deserves to know what’s happening when the problem is him?

“You?”

”Stop it Buffy…” he was done playing the game ‘Don’t tell William a thing’.

“What do you want me to say?!” she cried.

“How ‘bout the truth? I like the truth for once…”

“I-I…” she stuttered and took a brief pause to let a wave of nausea pass, “This…this thing with Cordelia and Angel…” she started.

”Angel?” William frowned. Mentioning Angel was never ever good in his book.

“Yes…it…it’s still bothering me…what happened to Cordelia…what he did to her…”

“Didn’t we discuss this before?” William asked.

“Yes…but—“

“How is it still bothering you? How does this affect me? Did you go and see him?” William questioned.

”What?!! No, no I didn’t!” she protested, “Why would I even want to?”

“I don’t know Buffy…I have no clue what’s going on at the moment…you’re been acting very strange lately…one moment you aren’t talking to me, the next you want sex, now this…you’re not acting like yourself.”

“Neither are you.”

“What?”

“Nothing…”

“No!” he said sharply, “We are not brushing this off, you said ‘neither are you’, now what does that mean?”

“It means absolutely nothing.”

William turned away from her for a moment, took a deep breath and exhaled.

“So this is how it’s going to be?” He asked. “You don’t trust me enough to talk to me?”

“No…” she whispered as tears started to slide down her cheek.

“Then…then I don’t get it Buffy…I don’t understand why you won’t let me on this problem but you feel perfectly comfortable telling Ms. Blunt, Anya Harris.”

“Please William…it’s—it’s…” she didn’t know how to get out of the hot seat at the moment; everything was not going as planned. She was stupid for getting drunk; she has no recollection of what she said to him last night.

“I’m going to go…”

”What?!” her head snapped up to look up at him with a tearstained face, “What? Where?!!” she started to panic. She was about to get up but her shaky legs weren’t letting her.

“I’m going to go to the store and be back in an hour. I’ll get you some ginger ale.” With that he turned around and left her alone on the bathroom floor rug.



TBC…

Chapter 10:



William shut the front door with a sigh, put the plastic bag full of groceries on the ground near the coat hanger, and started up the stairs.

“I’m here.” Buffy called out from the living room.

She was freshly showered and had a robe on; he could smell her shower gel from where he stood near the stairs—lavender.

“Feeling better?”

“Better than before…” she muttered miserably and leaned her damp haired head down on a sofa pillow, not caring that she was getting it wet. “I think there is nothing left in my stomach to heave up.”

“Ginger ale’s in the bag if you need it.” He nodded over to the ground near the door.

”Thanks…”

He walked closer to her and sat on the edge of the coffee table near the sofa, looking down at her silently. Buffy felt a little bit nervous by the way he was staring at her, she couldn’t read his face expression to see what he was thinking.

When she couldn’t stand his blue eyes centered on her no longer, she had to speak up. “What are you thinking about?”

“Just…some things… just trying to understand this whole thing, and working this out in my head is not going so well.”

‘Great Buffy, you’re giving him a headache. Way to seduce him.’

“I’m sorry...even though you said it before, that sorry isn’t good enough…I just want you to know I am sorry.”

“I know…but why, why’d you do it?”

‘Don’t start with the Angel and Cordy thing…it will just open up a can of worms with the mention of Angel.’ She reminded herself.

“It’s hard to explain…my thoughts are making even ME confused.”

“I’m an English teacher pet, give me a challenge.”

“I just don’t know where to start.”

”Alright…let me help, you said last night you were afraid I was going to leave you…let’s start with that.”

Buffy cringed, ‘Oh no!’ she screamed through her head, ‘Oh god what else did I say?’

“I did?”

“Yes, you did…now why would you think that, because Angel left Cordelia?”

“I guess it started there…” she admitted.

“Love, I told you before and I can keep telling you till your deaf, I’m not like that. You think I’m like him?”

”No, Will…no, you’re not like him and I don’t want you to be like him. He could never compare to you Sp—William.”

Buffy was hoping he didn’t catch her little slip up but she knew he did. She could see it on his face. There was a brief silence; the elephant was most certainly in the room now. However, she wasn’t going to touch the fact of what she said, well, almost said. Buffy would let him make the next move.

“Buffy…what’s going on? Just give it to me straight, I can take it.”

“I’m not sure I can take it when I ask you…”

”Ask me what? Will you quit being cryptic here and tell me something so I can help?”

“Okay…well, did…did I…”

”Did you…?”

‘…Wreck your life?’ the question was on the tip of her tongue.

”Am I not that attractive to you anymore?”

William sat up straight; he blinked a few times and looked around confused, sort of giving her the ‘Are you talking to me?’ look.

“What?” he whispered. Even though he was finding this subject a bit interesting, he made a mental note to remember that Buffy was about to say something else just then—that she wanted to ask him something but chickened out and brought up this concern instead, this crazy concern.

“I mean…my breasts are not perky…my hair is not that shiny anymore…I’m getting wrinkles, I know I am…I have stretch marks…”

“Love, I don’t notice any of those things.”

“…oh…” she felt a bit stupid at the moment, he now knew all her flaws, ones that he never noticed before, and gave him a direct map on where to find them the next time he looked at her.

“Buffy, why would you think I’m repulsed by you? Was it because the other day when you wanted to have sex and we didn’t?”

“Well…you didn’t want me…” she pointed out.

“Love,—“

”I could remember a time when we didn’t need words, all I had to do was give you a look and you’d know…I didn’t need to tell you that I wanted you and we just did it! Everywhere…anywhere…didn’t matter the time of day.”

William looked down at his hands, “So this problem, it’s about the lack of sex we have in our life?”

She felt bad, real bad. “No…”

“Is it the performance?”

”What?! No…just-just…oh god!” she put her hands over face and groaned, “What the hell is wrong with me?! I’m saying everything wrong!”

“Buffy?”

“Yes?” her voice was muffled due to her hands being on top of her mouth.

“Is the thrill gone for you?”

She removed her hands quick, “William I love you, don’t be rid—“

”Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.” He whispered

Buffy opened her mouth, “Will, this is my fault, it’s not you…it’s something stupid—“

“I want to know what you want from me, Buffy? Is it the kitchen table?” he started.

“How about the car?” he challenged next.

When her eyes widen at the mention of the car, William started to smile. He knew they had to discuss things more, that there were other issues to address. But at the moment, he wanted to fix this problem.

“How about outside…?” he went on, “Someone could just walk by anytime, pretty gutsy don’t you think?” He tilted his head as he continued to watch her looking at him with lustful eyes.

Buffy’s chest started to rise rapidly up and down under her rob with excitement, she liked this game. ‘There’s my boy…did I hear a little bit of Spike in there, cocky Spike.’

“I don’t give a damn if they watch.” She said as she yanked him off the coffee table and brought him on top of her for a kiss.

When they broke apart he whispered in her ear, “All you had to do was ask.”

“I didn’t want to offend you…this department is sort your expertise.”

“True…but looks like I’m falling asleep on the job…seems I’m getting cocky. But hey, I like the challenge. What else do you want?”

“I want you now…”

“Want what?”

”You know…”she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer but he resisted.

”Talk dirty love, your voice is too sweet to waste being silent.”

”I…I-I want you to have sex with me.” ‘God, do I sound pathetic’ she thought when she heard what she said.

He shook his head and lifted himself on his knees so he could use both hands to untie her knot in her rob. “Noooo….try again.”

Buffy thought back to what Anya said last month in the coffee shop, ‘But you know, one way to stop being boring is being able to talk about sex casually.’

She gulped and tried, “Fuck me?”

”Add some more nouns and adjectives love and I’ll give it to you.” He pushed aside the silk fabric so he could see her stomach, breasts, and nether regions. “Your breasts are perfect love, don’t know what you were talking about before…” he said as he stared at them.

“Not too…silly putty?”

”Hush…now, I believe you were about to ask me something.”

“Will, I’m not good at this.”

”Then I’ll help you, repeat after me… ‘I want you…’”

“I want you.”

” ‘..to ravish me on this couch…’”

”…to ravish me on this couch...” She smiled.

“‘…until I’m screaming your name and biting my lip till it bleeds...’”

“Ya….” She nodded, memorized.

He smirked, “Repeat love…”

”…until I’m screaming your name and biting my lip till it bleeds.”

” ‘Then—‘”

”Then I want to suck your cock until your knees buckle and your eyes roll up.” She didn’t need his help anymore; it was coming a bit easier now. A lot easier.

William started breathing heavily when she was making things up on her own. God, it had been so long since they talked dirty to one another, that he forgotten how much fun it could be. He slipped his hand between her thighs and watched her face drift into what looked like a dream of pleasure.

“Will…” she moaned.

“Ya pet?” he moved forward so he was hovering over her once again.

”I love you…”

”I love you too…” he kept his hand moving while he used the other to brace himself up on the couch.

“Will you love me when they turn into silly putty one day?”

He laughed, “I’ll love them no matter what…I think they could use a bit of ice cream about now…or whip cream…”

”Mmmm…. yes!” she hissed and dug her nails into his shoulder blades, “Spike?”

He met her eyes and smiled, “Yes?”

Buffy just noticed her slip up once again. When she looked back at him to see how he reacted she was surprised to see his smile, she smiled back. They didn’t say anything else after that. Well, besides the little nasty’s they were about to whisper.


TBC…

Chapter 11:



“Mmmmm….”

“What?” William whispered.

“Nothing…just on the floor sex is the best type of sex there is.” Buffy smiled as she hugged her husband’s side close to her and lifted her bare legs on top of his midsection. They both were barely covered by Buffy’s pink silk robe.

“Our bed not good enough for ya anymore?” William asked as he ran his hand over Buffy’s shoulders, tracing down the middle of her spine. He moved to the side a bit but stopped and grimaced in pain, Buffy didn’t notice.

“After this?” she tilted her head up to look at him for a second, “I’m going to have to say sorry king sized bed that we bought from Levin, you’ve got competition.”

“With the hardwood floor?”

“Mmmmhmmm…” she sighed and rested her head back on his chest.

“It’s easy for you to say love; you were on top…completely different story when you’re occupying the lower deck.”

“You were manning the top for a while…” she pointed out and smiled at the memory. ‘Oh ya…’ she thought to herself.

”Until you got rough and animalistic and demanded to be put in the driver’s seat…”

“You don’t like Animal Buffy?”

“I love all kinds of Buffy…”

“Mmmmm….” She sighed again and closed her eyes, “So why you complaining?”

“Because I think….I hurt my back.” He groaned as he shifted a little with Buffy in his arms.

“What?!” Buffy snapped her eyes open and sat up. “Oh my god…are you serious?” When she noticed him wince her eyes widen. ‘Oh god, I broke him!’

“I’m fine love…just need to remember to stretch all the muscles the next time we do this…” he muttered when he sat up.

“Do-do you need anything? Tylenol? Heating pad? Ice, do you need ice? A doctor?” she asked with concern and helped him stand. He grabbed his pants hanging over the coffee table and his shirt on the lamp shade.

“No, no, no…don’t need that…” he said quickly to that last one as he rubbed his lower back. He tried to picture how that conversation would go with his doctor if he were to go see him. ‘Well Dr. Madison, you know how it is when your really in the moment with your wife and pain and pleasure seem to blend together and you can’t tell the difference?’

“Are you sure?”

”Defiantly” he said with a sigh as he sat back on the couch and closed his eyes. When William noticed that Buffy had been silent for a while he popped opened one eye to see her standing in front of him, biting her lip and looking like she was going to cry.

“Luv?” he opened both eyes and took notice that she was indeed now crying. “What?”

“I hurt you!”

”What? No…no…you didn’t hurt me, the floor did.” He joked.

Buffy turned around and walked out of the living room and up the stairs in tears.

“Buffy!!” he yelled, he made a move to get up but it was too painful, “Damn it…” he muttered, “Buffy!!!”

“Great…” he muttered, “She leaves me in a situation where I can’t go after her.”

*~*~*~*


Buffy knew she acted a little bit paranoid downstairs. I mean, she knew subconsciously that she didn’t intend the sexcapades on the floor to turn into something that seemed like a tackle football game. She knew subconsciously that it was an accident and that William didn’t blame her. However, her subconscious and her hormones were not agreeing.

She sniffed and blew her nose; she was currently in the hallway bathroom and had been hiding in there for an hour. She used a bunch of sheets of toilet paper to dab her eyes with while looking in the mirror.

‘God, it feels like I’m going through menopause.’ Buffy thought to herself as she threw her tissues away in the trash and switched off the light in the bathroom.

It was approaching late afternoon and she was starting to get hungry; she figured William must be too. She quietly walked across the hallway rug, stopped at the top of the stairs, and listened to where William could be in the house.

After canceling out all the noises the house was making and the sounds from outside, coming from an opened window, she heard the television in the living room playing at a low volume.

Buffy slowly walked down the stairs and sneaked a peak in the living room to see that William had fallen asleep in the middle of an episode of I Love Lucy. She smiled and walked a bit closer to him to admire his relax state.

‘Good, he doesn’t seem to be in pain anymore.’ She thought to herself.

When she turned to proceed into the kitchen, she felt a tug on the belt of her robe and a grab at her hips.

“Hey!!” she squealed in surprise when Buffy found herself on top of William’s chest. “I thought you were asleep and—“

”Pretending…” he muttered with a smirk.

“You’re back, doesn’t it still hurt—am I hurting you?!!” she panicked and started to wiggly out of his arms to get up.

“Na ah ah…” he shook his head, “You aren’t going anywhere missy”

“But-but your back is—“

”Fine…I wouldn’t have grabbed you if it wasn’t pet.” He pointed out and lightened his grip on her so he could see if she would run away. If she did, he’d be ready to pin her.

“I—I’m---“

”If you say your sorry and are continuing to blame yourself for what happen, I think I’m going to have to spank you pet.” He interrupted.

“Huh?”

“Ya know…spank.” He said as he flipped his wrist and slapped her butt to demonstrate his point.

“Hey!” she slapped him on the chest.

William did a quick maneuver and flipped her so she was on her back on the couch. “See…” he said, “My back is allllllll better…” ‘Back to playtime’ he thought to himself. Earlier he was cursing himself for not having the power to suppress telling his wife he was hurt. William was sure that if he didn’t tell her they would have gone another round somewhere else in the house, something he was looking forward to.

“You weren’t an hour ago…” she whispered.

“I’m not a hundred years old Buffy…if you think I’m frail, well, you might need a good rough and tumble.”

She smiled, “And what would that prove?”

”That my stamina is still there.”

“Spike please, your ego is—“ she stopped abruptly and looked away from his face. ‘I can’t believe I did it again’ she thought to herself.

“My ego is what?”

‘So what, he’s going to ignore what I just called him? Am I the only one that pays attention when I talk?’

“Is nothing…”

He snorted, “Excuse me, my ego is nothing?”

”I got to make dinner.” She started to push him away but he kept her firmly in place.

“No, no, no.” he said as he pinned her wrists harder to the cushion, “What?”

“What, what?” she asked.

“Buffyyyyy…” he warned.

“What?!” she exclaimed.

“Will you be a dear and tell me what the hell is going on in that pretty little head of yours before I bust it open myself and try to find out?”

”Nothing…”

”Excccccept….”

“Except nothing, now do you want stir fry or spaghetti for dinner?” she tried to move upward but his grip was too strong, it was like her hands were glued to the couch. “Let me up.”

”No…and forget about dinner for just a minute.” He said, “You’re not getting up until you tell me what’s up…”

Buffy’s dirty mind couldn’t help itself, she looked south toward his pants.

“And not that!” he said before she could say something smart.

“William nothing is the matter…I just don’t want to play at the moment—“

“There! I knew it!” he said as he unlocked her hands from the couch.

“What?”

”Right there…” he pointed at her, “You called me ‘William’…”

”So? That’s your name…” she shrugged and got up off the couch and made a race to the kitchen. However, William was hot on her heals.

”Two seconds ago you called me ‘Spike’ and you were this close…”he separated his fingers, showing a little gap of space between them, “…to jumping my bones.”

“….so?” she moved toward the refrigerator and stuck her head inside. ‘Nope…no place to hide in here’ she thought and closed the door.

”So?”

Buff whipped around and finally faced him, “Ya…so what? That’s your name too!” she pointed her finger at him firmly.

“Love, you never use that name with me anymore…you did so a bunch of times today and when you were drunk…don’t think that I haven’t noticed, because I have.” He said softly.

“It was a slip, so what?”

”A Freudian slip…”

“William…” she sighed, “Please just—“

”Do not say ‘let this go’!!” he shouted, taking Buffy by surprise by the tone in his voice.

‘Okay, THIS guy seems like Spike now…’ she noted.

“You think of him as someone else, don’t you? When we were having sex earlier you thought about Spike.” William asked.

“What’s the big deal?”

”It shouldn’t be a big deal but I’ve noticed something when you call me that….”

”And what’s that?”

”That you go all Animal Buffy on me when you are thinking about me as him.”

Buffy growled and turned away from him to go over to the sink, “You’re acting like I’m cheating on you!”

”You are!”

”But it’s with you!”

‘I’m cheating on him with his self…if that is actually possible.’ Buffy told herself.

“Ya…well…why?” William was now so confused that he did not know what to argue with her about anymore.

“I don’t know!” she shouted and started to fill the dish tub with warm water and soap, “I’m at a loss here William…Spike…whoever you are!”

Buffy felt a tug on her shoulder, when she turned around she noticed that he was super close to her.

“I’m both of them…” he whispered, “Don’t you see me like that?”

”I…I don’t know…”

For William/Spike, that meant ‘no’.


TBC…

Chapter 12:


“Can I ask you a question?”

Xander rolled out from under the car he was currently working on; with grease smeared all over his chin he asked, “Hey, what are you doing here? Thought you were taking the day off because Buffy’s sick…”

“She’s better now…”

The truth was William needed a little time away from Buffy to clear his head after conversing with her.

”Well….depends…”

“Depends?”

”Depends on what you want to ask….if it’s a parenting question you are going to the wrong guy…if it’s a question that deals with women ….well, you’re still going to the wrong guy.”

”It’s a ‘will you shut up and let me talk you nit’ question.” William said as he kicked over a tire and sat on it so he could make himself comfortable.

Xander rolled completely out from under the car and sat up, “Okay…shoot…I’m all ears.”

“Have…have you noticed—“

William felt stupid asking a guy a question like this. It was almost like he was asking his father to tell him about the birds and the bees.

“Noticed…” Xander waved his hand, motioning for his friend to keep going.

William swallowed his pride, if he was ever going to fix this problem with Buffy and understand where she was coming from he needed some advice. He needed to know if other people noticed a difference too.

“Have I turned into a wanker over the years?”

”Huh?”

”Well…not an actually wanker…but, have I…changed a lot over the years?”

Xander looked William up and down, “You asking appearance wise or…?”

With a groan, William stood up and started to walk around the garage, rubbing his neck and contemplating on how to get through this.

“Will, of course you changed…we all changed over the years…you’re a dad and a married man.”

”Ya…but has that changed ME…me as a person…me as…”

”Where is this coming from? Your almost look like you need a self esteem boost.” Xander joked.

‘That’s EXACTLY what I need’ William thought to himself. It feels weird now between him and Buffy now that he knew her secret, that she preferred Spike to William when they were having sex; that his own wife was having an affair with a ghost…a ghost that was him.

“Will, you are who you are…who’s to say that you turned into someone else? We all evolve man…we all mature.”

”Maturing is one thing…but…but…” William trailed off when he spotted his reflection in the right side mirrors of the car Xander was working on. He ran his hand through his brown hair and tried to remember when the last time he bleached it.

“But what? You’re zoning out on me man…” Xander raised an eyebrow.

“I got to go…” William muttered quietly before quickly moving off to his car outside.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy unfolded the flaps of the big brown box as she sat on the edge of her bed. After eyeing the box that contented her husband’s old positions all afternoon while she was loading and unloading laundry in the basement, Buffy decided it was time to do a little more snooping.

‘So soft…’ Buffy thought to herself as she brought out Spike’s leather duster and sat it on the bed next to her.

She poked her head back in the box and wrinkled her face up in confusion when she eyed something that was not so familiar to her.

‘Dingoes Ate My Baby: Wolves at Night’ she read the piece of paper that was taped to the CD cover.

When Buffy looked up from the label her eyes went directly to the old picture of Spike surrounded with his band mates.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As soon as Buffy hung up the phone she heard the front door click shut.

“William?” she called out from the kitchen.

“Ya love, it’s me…I’m going to take a shower…”

When Buffy made it into the foyer and glanced up the stairs, she saw William’s shadow going down the hallway with a bag in his hand. “Umm…Will?!” she called up after him.

“Ya?!”

“Are you okay?” Buffy asked as she bit her lip. She wanted to ask ‘Are we okay?’ but she was afraid of how he would answer.

“Ya…”

“I’m going to make dinner…” she called out.

”Okay…”

Buffy stood there at the bottom of the stairs and listened as he went into the bathroom and shut the door. As she walked back into the kitchen and started pulling out things from the refrigerator she heard the sound of cabinets being opened and the shower running in the bathroom above.

A few minutes later she heard him curse up a storm for about twenty seconds before going silent.

“William?!” she called as she looked up at the ceiling.

However, it was no use; he couldn’t hear her over the sound of the shower running.
*~*~*~*~*~*~

“William?” Buffy knocked on the bathroom door, worried and anxious.

“I’m alright…” He was sharp with her, the tone in his voice basically said ‘go away and leave me alone.’

“Umm…are you sure?”

”Yes…I’ll be down soon.” He muttered.

Buffy was about ready to cry, the way he just left her earlier made her think that he still was upset with the whole ‘Spike’ incident.

“Okay…” she whispered and went down the stairs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy didn’t hear the sound of the water shutting off, the bathroom door opening, and the sound of boots shuffling down the stairs and into the kitchen. She was concentrating on stirring the spaghetti sauce and the speech she worked out in her head for last ten minutes about what happened earlier.

“What’s cooking?”

”I made spaghetti…” she whispered as she kept her eyes inside the pot.

“Spaghetti and MEATBALLS?” his voice said huskily as he came a little bit closer behind her.

“No…” she sighed, “Just the noodles and sauce…”

“Hmm…you bought dessert right?”

“I bought a—AHH!“ Buffy turned around slowly and then jumped up at the sight of him.

Spike smirked as he reached around her waist to turn off the burner on the stove, if all went according to play they wouldn’t be eating dinner tonight…well, not the usual salad and spaghetti. Whip cream may make an appearance with some hot fudge.

“Willia—“

”Spike…” he corrected.

“Your--your hair…” she was so memorized by the bleached blonde locks that she didn’t notice the coat and the rest of his getup.

“What of it?” he asked innocently, even though he still had that little smirk on his face.

“What…what…?”

“You speechless love?”

“What—what did you do?” she asked as she looked down at the rest of his clothes, it felt like she was in the Twilight Zone at the moment.

Usually William would stop the playfulness and say, ‘You it hate don’t you? Should I go back upstairs and change it back?’ but tonight he wasn’t ‘William’.

“Do? Nothing yet…what am I GOING to do?” Spike moved his eyes up and down her figure, “Well…I think I’m going to do you…”


TBC…

Chapter 13:

To put it mildly, the kitchen was a mini disaster area. Chairs were toppled over, the table was out of its original position, and cups, plates, and the mail for the day was spread out in the middle of the floor. A hurricane called ‘Passion’ seemed to done its toll on the Pratt household.

“We….have…to…stop…ending…up…on…the…floor…” Buffy gasped out as she looked over at her husband that was trying to catch his breath too.

“Why’s…that…?” he breathed out, his gasped seemed to be in sync with Buffy’s.

“Don’t want…your back …to get worse.” Buffy explained after taking a bunch of deep breaths.

Spike chuckled, “Then why don’t you cut your nails too love? Cause’ those scratch marks will be there for a good honest week.”

“Mmmmm… you like those scratches…they’re like medals to you…”

Spike smirked as he looked over at his naked wife…well not completely naked—she was wearing his leather coat. He almost let out a chuckle when he recalled how it was shed from his body and placed on hers.

“You look a little winded love…sure it’s not you that is experiencing the backaches?”

Buffy turned her head to look over at him; her face expression showed she looked insulted, “Hey! I have the energy of a…of a…”

“A rabbit?”

The blonde moved to crawl over Spike so she was straddling his hips, “Is that what you want? A rabbit?”

“No…I much rather have you” He said as his eyes shined over Buffy’s breasts poking out of his old coat.

“Do you like how it looks on me?” Buffy asked with a smile when she caught him staring.

“You were born to wear that coat…”

“Only born to wear it when we’re having sex right?” she asked, “After that it goes back to the Big Bad?”

“Well, it is my trademark…” he shrugged.

“Along with the hair…” Buffy pointed out as she reached forward and ran her fingers through his messy locks, “So that’s what you were doing in the bathroom…burning your brain with bleach.”

“You complaining?”

“No…” she said as she smoothed it back, “And yes…”

“Yes?” he raised a brow at her.

“Why’d you do it?” she asked, “Please don’t tell me you think I love you more with your hair like this…”

Spike shook his head and reached up to run his own fingers through her hair.

“It’s this whole…Spike/William thing isn’t it?” she guessed.

“Got me thinking love…”

“William…” she sighed and was about to go on rant, however Spike reached up quickly and placed his finger over her lips to shush her.

“When you admitted that Spike and William weren’t the same I thought you were bonkers…until I stepped back and really looked at myself.”

Buffy shook her head and pushed his finger off her lips, “You don’t understand…really, you don’t…”

“I think I do love…you miss the spark…”

“But not in the way you think…” she whispered and then looked down at his bare chest, she couldn’t say what she needed to say with him looking at her. “Honey…I lied to you…I lied about how I really felt about Angel and Cordy’s separation…”

“You lied? So you are bored with me?” he guessed.

“What?!” Buffy’s eyes widened, “No…no, no, no, no….”

“Love I’m not—“

“YOU…I was afraid YOU were the bored one…not me, you.”

“Me?!” he laughed, “Me…?”

Spike sat up and grabbed her hip under the coat with one hand and used the other to stroke her thigh.

“Love, this is me…Slave to Buffy…Helplessly in Love with Buffy…” he said as he rubbed her hip.

“I don’t want you to be a slave to me…” she pouted and reached out to play with his silver chain around his neck.

He chuckled, “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“It can be when I’m keeping you from what you really love to do…”

“And what’s that?”

Buffy paused, set his necklace down back on his body, and looked into his eyes, “Your music…”

“My music?”

“Stop repeating everything I say…yes, your music.”

“What does my music have to do with anything?” he asked.

“It has to do with everything, Spike.”

After moments pause, Buffy still saw that he wasn’t following.

“Do I need to go upstairs and get the box to refresh your memory?”

"What box?"

“The box full of notebooks that have all your songs, your first album, and all your guitar picks…ringing any bells yet?”

“I remember, pet” he said, “But I don’t know what that has to do with me being bored.”

“Don’t you see, don’t you get it? I’m your roadblock…I’m your party pooper…” she whimpered, “I’m your dream crusher.”

Spike sat on the cold kitchen tile floor and stared into space while Buffy got up from his lap and ran off in tears. As soon as he snapped out of his daze he heard the door to their bedroom shut.

*~*~*~*~*~*~
The bedroom door creaked open as Spike entered. The sun had gone down an hour ago and all he could see through the darkness was the outline of Buffy lying on their bed, facing away from him.

Spike quietly moved across the carpet and climbed onto the bed, scooting up right behind his wife. As soon as Buffy felt his presence she turned around to see him looking down at her.

“Is that what you think of yourself?” he asked her gently, “My roadblock?”

“I—I am…” she sobbed out “Don’t you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“I told you to choose between me and your music….”

“I also remember that you were pregnant love…hormone crazy…”

“But—but you still quit… you quit something that you loved…”

“I quit, yes. But I didn’t give it up for nothing…I’m still around something I love, something I love a whole lot more than music…and if you haven’t figured it out love, that would be you; you and the kids.” He said as he moved a few strands of hair out of her face so he could still see her shiny eyes.

“But you shouldn’t have HAD to do that though—make a choice.”

“Your right, I didn’t have to…I could have went on with my music, traveled from city to city, lived out of a suitcase and stayed in cheap motels, and ate out of vending machines…lived a lonely life on the road…” Spike then gave her a look, a look telling her that he didn’t find any of that appealing at all.

“But—but you loved the band…"

“Ya, I love them…they’re my friends, they always will be. But I got to tell you love, I still love you more. I still love seeing Matty score his goals every Saturday and Sarah be Ms. Twinkle Toes in her dance class.”

“So, so you’re—you’re okay with not having music in your life?”

“I admit that I miss it from time to time, but like I said, I have more important things in my life that still make me love the life I picked. I wouldn’t trade what I got here for anything in the world.”

“And you’re not bored?” Buffy bit her lip.

Spike chuckled, “Bored? Did you catch the show downstairs?”

Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, “I was there…”

“I was there too...along with my sidekick, William…”

“Mmmm…William…” she leaned up and kissed him.

“He still turn you on…that brown haired bookish teacher?” he teased.

Buffy smiled and nodded.

“You just want the best of both worlds don’t you Mrs. Pratt?”

“Well, can’t I have both of them at the same time?” she whispered as started to nibble on his ear.

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”

TBC…

Chapter 14:

She was resting on his torso, listening to the sounds of his growling stomach and his heart beating. Buffy was hungry too after they forgot about dinner last night. Without moving her head, she could see from the corner of her eye that it was past ten in the morning.

“You’re late for work…” she muttered against his skin.

“Hmmm?” was William’s only response.

Buffy cracked a smile at his tired state, “You know, work, the place where you go when your not here…”she gave his chest a kiss, “…with me.”

“Don’t want to…” he mumbled before letting out a sleepy sigh.

She propped her chin up on his chest so she could look at him up on his pillow.

“You didn’t go yesterday…” she reminded him.

“Xander can bloody well cover for me for another day…or two.”

Buffy glided her hands up his sides to his shoulders, “Two?”

“You complaining?”

“Hardly...was wondering when you were going to take a proper vacation.”

“Well, we do have that vacation scheduled next month with the kids…second to last week of August” he said, finally opening his eyes to look down at Buffy tracing tickling patterns on his stomach.

“Mmmm…Disney World…” Buffy muttered, “Six days of Sarah and Matt tiring you out in an amusement park doesn’t sound so thrilling to me anymore.”

William smiled, “Oh?”

“Ya…when is it Buffy’s turn to tire you out?” Buffy crawled further up his body so she was hovering a few inches over his face.

“Well, maybe we can make some time in… Fantasyland…” he teased.

“Really?”

‘Ya…’ he thought to himself, ‘Cover some fantastic fantasy roll playing…’

William smirked and quickly rolled her off of him so he was now on top, “Or Adventureland…”

“Adventureland huh?” she whispered.

“Ya, don’t they have a Pirates of the Caribbean ride there?”
he asked as he took one of the hands that was supporting himself above her for a joy ride around her inner thighs.

“Mmmhmm…” she smirked, “I believe so…”

“You could be the governor’s daughter, Elizabeth, and I can be William…the blacksmith…who has to save you from pirates.” He whispered.

“Mmmm…I don’t think the ride follows the Orlando Bloom version exactly…but...” Buffy closed her eyes and sighed in pleasure when he finally reached her moist center, “What if I don’t want to be rescued by pirates?”

William added another finger inside of her, causing her to squirm a little, “You want to be ravaged by pirates huh?”

“Ya…Spike, The Pirate…”

“Don’t think bleached blonde hair was popular back then pet…” he pointed out.

Buffy gasped when he hit a sweet spot, “Well, the boat can sail out of Adventureland and into Tomorrowland and pick up a bottle…because in my fantasy Spike, The Pirate, has shiny radioactive hair.”

William chuckled before diving down to kiss her neck.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy looked down at her pruny fingers, it seemed that William and her spent a little too much time in the bathtub. With the towel wrapped around her body, she opened the bathroom door to see her husband searching through their closet for a shirt.

“You almost ready for lunch pet?” he asked when he heard the door open.

Once he made love to her two more times that morning, William decided there was no way he was going into work that day. Even tomorrow seemed questionable for him. He thought Buffy brought up a good point; why not take some time off without the kids so they can get ‘reacquainted’ with one another?

“Not really…” she said as she leaned against the doorframe.

William turned around and saw her hair was still damp and she was only wearing a towel, “I can see that…” he whispered as his eyes skimmed her tan legs.

“Can I tempt you into ordering in?”

William smirked at her friskiness and crossed the room, “What my girl wants…my girl gets”

Buffy giggled and then let out a little gasp as he tugged her towel off her body with one yank and the cool air hit her naked body, “Are you sure it’s not… what you want…you get?”

*~*~*~*~*~

5 Days Later…

William was reluctant to go back to work after six days captive with his wife in their house. However, unlike him, Buffy seemed pushy to get him back to the garage and out of the house.

“Tired of me already?” he teased her before he left the house.

That little comment, just four little words, ended up getting him sex on the living room floor and caused him to be an hour late to work.

“Thought you weren’t coming in again today…nice hair by the way” Xander laughed once William got to work and saw his friend's recent bleached blonde look.

By the end of the day, William was zipping in and out of lanes of traffic to get home. He felt like he turned into a sex-o-holic after the last few days. In fact, when he opened the front door to the house he was very close to stripping in the entrance way.

“Honey, you home?” Buffy called out from the kitchen.

“Ya…” he yelled and then licked his lips; just the sound of her voice was making his mouth fill up with saliva.

William thought, ‘To hell with it’, and started unbutton his shirt as he strutted into the kitchen. He was undoing his fourth button when he reached the entrance way and said, “Drop whatever your doing love because I’m going to shag you until—“

The bleached blonde stopped in mid sentence when he noticed Buffy wasn’t exactly alone in the house.

William saw his wife’s smiling face dropped when she registered the dirty talk he was saying in front of their guests and that some of his bare chest was showing. She jumped from her seat and moved him back into the hallway while their guests started to crack up.

“Oh my god…” Buffy whispered in a horrified tone once they were alone. She started to quickly button up his shirt while muttering to him, “What a way to make an entrance…”

“What…what’s—?” William wasn’t listening to her; he was too busy being in shocked by who was in the kitchen, “What’s my band doing here?”

After Buffy buttoned the last button and stepped back she smiled a nervous smile and said, “Surprise…”

“Surprise?”

“Well…you are surprised right?” she asked.

“Ya…a bit…but I’m just don’t get—“

“I talked to Willow a few days ago, the night you bleached your hair, she said that Oz, Gunn, and the rest of the group were done with their tour, and well…”

“Well....?”

“Well…since your feeling so Spikish lately I thought you would like to jam with them…”



TBC…

Chapter 15:



The light bulb in the basement flickered until it finally held a steady light. The floor boards squeaked as giant combat boots descended down the stairs. Spike didn’t have to search long to find what he was looking for; on a shelf high above the ground, so no little fingers could grab it, sat his old guitar case.

Spike sat the leather case down on the cement floor, pressed on the metal locks for it to open, and greeted his first guitar that he got when he was sixteen years old.

“Hey baby…” he muttered as he picked it up and positioned the straps on his shoulder, “Miss me?”

He started fussing with the strings, gently brushing his fingertips across them—getting reacquainted with his ‘baby’.

Behind Spike, at the bottom of the stairs, Buffy stood quietly for a few moments—watching him with a small smile on her face as he talked to his guitar as if it were a woman.

“Does she purr like I do?” she asked quietly as she stepped down towards him.

Spike turned his head to look over his shoulder, “You were always jealous of her, weren’t you?”

Buffy rolled her eyes and came to stand beside him, “Oh pleassseee…does that ego of yours still need stroking?”

“Always”

“So…Oz set up a date for you guys to play?”

“Ya…Friday night…”

“Nervous?”

Spike snorted, “Me? Oh come on, how many times have I gone up on stage in front of hundreds of people and done this?”

“You’re terrified aren’t you?”

“Petrified…”

Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck leaned her head against his, “You don’t have to be…because I’ll be there…”

“Is that supposed to make me less nervous?”

“A little bit…why, don’t I relax you?”

Spike’s eyes lingered down her tank top and shorts, “You melt me…”

Buffy smirked, “Like ice cream?”

“Mmm…you’re placing ideas in my head woman.” He whispered as he leaned in to her neck and nibbled on her soft skin.

“Good…” Buffy muttered as she grabbed the guitar gently between them, slipped the strap over his head, and sat it upright on a cardboard box.

“Knew you were jealous of her…already getting rid of her.” He whispered as he attacked her right earlobe.

Buffy gasped and started to breath heavily, she closed her eyes in pleasure for a brief moment before opening them and spotting something behind his shoulder. Buffy smiled when an idea, a dirty idea, popped into her head.

“Honey…?”

“Mmm…ya?” he breathed out as he started inching his fingers inside her shorts.

“Have you ever had sex on a pool table?”

*~*~*~*~*~

Friday Night…

Despite what Buffy thought, Spike was right —he was nervous when he got back on stage with his old band. Even the quickie they had in the car before entering the club couldn’t help calm his nerves. After the first song he had tell the audience to excuse him for a moment so he could switch his sweat soaked shirt for a new one.

Buffy giggled on the side of the stage as she quickly helped him change.

“It’s not funny…” he snapped, which only made her laugh harder.

Five songs later, Buffy could see that he started to relax. In fact, it looked like he never even left his career as a professional singer.

“Takes you back, doesn’t it?” Willow asked when she walked up to Buffy near the bar.

Buffy turned her head from the stage to address her old friend that she hadn’t seen in a while, “Ya…it does…”

After Spike went off on a solo on his guitar and got applause from the audience, Willow spoke again. “You know…I envy you…”

“Me?” Buffy raised a brow.

“Ya…a little bit…”

“How come?”

“Because you got him…” Willow nodded up to the stage at Spike, “…you have him every night…and don’t have to fight for his attention.”

“You should come around the house more often…Sarah and Matty…” Buffy shook her head, “Those two can beat me out when it comes to getting his attention…”

“Oz and I broke up three times Buffy…”

Buffy turned her head to the redhead in surprise, “You guys? Really?”

“We’re together now…but I’m just saying, your life versus this life…” Willow nodded to the audience and the bar, “Well, I’d rather have yours…”

“I’m sorry Willow—“

“No, don’t be sorry…I’m not unhappy, Oz is at the point where Spike is…were moving to New York…officially…no band, no bus, and no hotels…it’s just us.”

“The band is breaking up?”

“Sort of…Gunn is helping manage another band, actually a few bands…Devon is getting married…” Willow shrugged, “…everyone is going their separate ways.”

“And everyone is okay with that?”

“Oh ya…”Willow smiled, “Oz keeps saying lately, ‘I’ve had my fun with the band, now it’s time for our fun to start’.”

Buffy smiled at Oz’s remark and looked up at Spike. Willow was right, she was lucky—she wasn’t the one that had to wait ten years for Spike to finally decide what he wanted. She had no doubt in her mind that he figured out that home was where she, Matt, and Sarah was.

*~*~*~*~*~

One week later…

“How’s it look?” William asked as he ran a towel through his damp hair.

“Dull” Buffy teased.

“Oh come on now…really?”

“It looks fine sweetie…” she said with a smile as she went up on her tippy toes and kissed his lips. Buffy took the towel out of his hand and hung it up back on the towel rack to dry.

“And you still fine me sexy without the bleach right?” he tested.

Buffy turned around and tilted her head to the side to study him, “I don’t know…you could have been fun for glow-in-the-dark foreplay with your radioactive hair.”

William inched closer, “Think you’re so smart don’t ya?”

“Yes I do…and yes, you still are the sexiest English teacher this side of the West Coast.”

“Thank you…” he said and gave her a long kiss.

“I don’t know why you wanted to go back to being brown so soon though…I mean, you could have just let it grow out.”

“Because the kids are coming home today…” William explained as he checked himself out in the bathroom mirror.

“And what, they’re going to yell at you and tell you to get a haircut like your dad did when you were nineteen and bleached it…?”

William turned and gave her a little glare, “Nooo, I just don’t want them see me that way.”

“Honey, they’ll love you no matter what…they’d love you bald.”

“And they love me when I’m brown too.”

“Admit it; you’re afraid they’ll freak out…”

“No, I’m afraid Matt will get ideas…”

Buffy laughed, “Matt? What about our little ballerina girl?”

“Her too…if you see her hanging out with funky hair kids when she’s older, just explain to her that her hair will fall out if she does that to herself.”

“Honey, my hair is blonde…unnaturally blonde…”

“Ya well…you’re okay.”

“Uh-huh…”

The doorbell ran downstairs.

“That would be my mom with the kids.”

“I’ll get it.” William said as he dashed off down the stairs to greet his kids that he missed.

Buffy checked around the corner to see if he was truly gone before she went back into the bedroom, reaching under the bed, and took out a white plastic pharmacy bag. Mrs. Pratt smiled at the white bottle of peroxide and sweet and low packets inside the bag. Buffy figured that she might as well keep these things in handy for next time.

After all, their new sex drive has sparked them to be pretty adventurous, to have sex in kinkier places. While the kids have been away Buffy has been making a list of all the places they’ve been:

In the car…

On the pool table…

In the shower…

Behind the alley of The Bronze…

Underneath a lifeguard tower at the beach…

Victoria Secret dressing room…

Macy’s dressing room…

JcPenny’s dressing room…

Changing room table at a local restaurant that they got kicked out of....

In Principal Wood’s basement at his BBQ…

Anya and Xander’s pool...twice.



And the list goes on and on.




THE END.