CHAPTER ONE: Acquaintances

Sunnydale High. The place of all that is evil. It was sunny all the time - hence the name - it was full of little anorexic girlies desperate for attention, people were constantly smiling, and everyone was happy all the time. Evil.

Spike absolutely hated the place the moment he and his uncle Rupert stepped foot into town, and this high school wasn't helping the situation one bit.

He sat back in his chair in the principal’s office while his uncle filled out paper work. He must have had the most pissed-off and annoyed look on his face because every time Principal Snyder looked at him he had this mixed look of disgust and fear on his face. It actually made Spike snicker a little, until he went back to remembering hating the place.

"Alright then," Principal Snyder’s voice broke the silence as Rupert laid his pen down on the desk. "I think that about does it. Welcome to Sunnydale High school." The words made Spike cringe. "You'll start tomorrow, and I hope your time here is... memorable for you, William."

"Spike," he quickly corrected.

"I beg your pardon?" Snyder said, a tad bit surprised by the english boys blunt-ness.

"I go by Spike," he said as he stood and took his new class schedule from the short, balding man. "Not William," and before the principal got the chance to respond, he whirled around and walked out of the office toward the parking lot.

"He, erm... he's just... uh," Rupert Giles fumbled with his words as well as his glasses. He backed toward the door. "Right, um, goodbye," and he too walked out of the room following his black-clad nephew. "You know," he said once he caught up to him, "It wouldn't kill you to be nice to some people. You will, after all, be living here with me for quite some time now."

"Everyone can bugger off for all I care. I hate this sodden place," he said as they walked through the front doors and up to the black camaro.

"Well it's your home now so you bloody well better get over whatever problem you have with it," he said as he slid into the passenger’s seat.

Spike sat down in the driver’s seat and stuffed the key into the ignition, starting the car with a roar. "There’s not one bloody thing in this place I'm ever going to like."


x X x X x X x


"Stupid pen," Buffy Summers mumbled as she sat idly in class, twirling a piece of her hair and staring at the blob of ink that blacked out her notes. It was ninth period and she couldn't wait for the bell to ring and sound that the day was finally going to be less school-oriented and more fun-oriented.

"Pssst, Buffy..." whispered the pretty brunette girl next to her. The girl was Cordelia Chase, head cheerleader and biggest bitch known to Sunnydale High. "We're all going to the Bronze tonight, you're coming right?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah of course... I'll be there," the pretty blonde whispered back.

Cordelia just smiled and turned back in her seat just as the bell rang, finally sounding the end of the school day.

Buffy, along with everyone else in class stood up and grabbed their books and headed out of the classroom. While walking alongside Cordy, Buffy bumped arms with a small nervous-looking red head. Buffy just looked at her but Cordelia was the one to give her a nasty look accompanied by a sound of disgust.

“I- uh, sorry,” the girl said as her face flushed and she scurried off in the opposite direction.

Buffy and Cordelia approached their lockers and continued to put their books away while gossiping about the new cheerleader who they knew wouldn’t last.

Together, Buffy’s boyfriend Riley and Cordelia’s boyfriend Angel walked up to them, greeting each of them with inappropriate gropes and slurping kisses. Cordelia loved it, Buffy used to love it but more and more it was starting to embarrass her.

“Mmm, Riley,” their lips smacked, “Get off.”

Riley backed off and smiled in Angel and Cordy’s direction. “I love it when they play hard to get.” The others just smiled and they continued to get ready to leave.

“So, we’re all Bronzing it tonight?” asked Angel as he wrapped his arms around Cordelia’s waist from behind. Buffy always noticed those cute things, mostly because Riley never did those cute things to her. All he ever wanted was to use her small shoulders as an arm rest or her ass as a squeeze toy. She wanted cute-ness. Angel and Cordy were quite possibly the most arrogant couple in school, but they did genuinely love each other, and they always let it show.

“Hell yeah, man,” Riley said grabbing Buffy’s ass again, she just sighed. “It’s about time for some good dancing,” he said pinning Buffy against the lockers. “If you know what I mean…” he said with a dopey smile.

Even Buffy couldn’t resist a smile that time. She had to admit, as much as she longed for something a little cuter and gentler, she enjoyed the constant attention.

“Okay,” Cordelia interrupted, “So we’ll see you guys around eight.”

“Yep, see ya,” Buffy said giving her friend a smile as they walked away.

“Come on babe, I’ll drive you home so you can go get all slutty for me,” the Iowan-jock said as he tugged at her arm. Buffy just kind of dragged on behind him to the car. Once they reached Riley’s pick-up truck he hopped right into the drivers seat and revved up the engine. Buffy opened her door and slowly slid in, holding her miniskirt as she did so as not to reveal all of her anatomy to the entire parking lot.

The entire drive home Buffy was silent. Riley pounded on the steering wheel to the beat of his Garth Brooks CD. As they pulled up to the house on Revello Drive she noticed a new face moving boxes from a rental truck into the house across the street from hers.

“New neighbor,” she said out loud but mostly to herself.

Riley pulled into the driveway and as Buffy got out she look back at him. “You’re not staying?” she asked.

“Nah. I’ve got a few things to do, but I’ll try to come over early before we head out to the Bronze.”

Buffy’s lower lip poked out a bit as she walked around to his side of the car. She stood up on her tippy toes and poked her head through the open window. “I’ll see you later then,” she said giving him a quick kiss. “Mmm, bye.”

Riley smiled at her and reached out and tried to smack her ass as she scurried up to her front door. Buffy looked over her shoulder at him as he backed out the driveway and sped down the street.

As she walked into her house she could hear her mom talking to someone. She set her bag down on the steps and worked her way around to the kitchen. A slightly older man with glasses and an English accent was sitting with her mother having tea.

“Oh Buffy, you’re home,” her mother said once she noticed her walk into the room. “This is Mr. Giles. He and his nephew just moved in across the street.”

“Hello, Buffy,” the Englishman said smiling at her.

“Hi,” was all she said. She turned to walk away but before she could make her escape her mother started talking again.

“Buffy, why don’t you go across the street and bring this plate of cookies over to William, Mr. Giles’ nephew. And you two can get acquainted.” Buffy groaned to herself but smiled when Mr. Giles looked up at her again.

Grabbing the plate of cookies she glared at her mother and headed back down the hall to the front door.

I can't believe she's going to make me go over there and talk to some foreign new kid. Ugh.


x X x X x X x


Spike was in the back of the moving truck when the small blonde appeared before him. She looked miserable standing there holding a plate of cookies with a pout on her face. She was about five foot two and had beautiful golden blonde hair that hung just below the shoulder. Her little jean mini skirt and pink t-shirt showed off her perfect little curves. Her emerald green eyes showed her lack of desire to be over here.

“Don’t look so happy, luv. You might scare off all the new neighbors with all that perk and glee,” he said lifting two boxes and hopping off the back of the truck.

“My mom made me come over here. These are for you,” she said handing him the plate. “I’m Buffy.”

“Spike.”

“I thought your name was William…”

“It is, but I’ve gone by Spike since I started high school an’ I don’t plan on dropping it just yet.”

“What kind of name is Spike?”

“Oh, you really want to play who’s name is weirder?” he said with an arched brow.

“Whatever,” she said turning to walk away.

Spike immediately felt a little guilty and grabbed her arm gently as he turned her back to face him. “I'm sorry, luv. I like your name. Never met anyone with it before.”

Buffy looked him up and down. He was wearing black boots, black jeans, a black t-shirt, and had chipped black nail polish. His hair was bleach blonde and slicked back. His eyes were a beautiful shade of blue though. He had a scar through his right eyebrow.

“Where’d you get that scar?” Buffy asked.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you, luv.” Buffy smirked a little and Spike felt better about his new neighbor. “You know you’re gorgeous when your smiling. You should greet all your neighbors that way. Or do you really just hate me that much already?”

“We get new neighbors a lot. My mom always makes me go over with the plate of welcome-cookies. I just hate talking to new people,” she said, not afraid to speak the truth.

“Then pretend I’m old,” he said with a smile. “Come on in.”

Buffy looked back at her house wondering if she should just decline and run home, but eventually decided to try and be nice before following him in to his new house. She took the plate of cookies off of the boxes he was carrying and walked to her left toward the kitchen.

Normally Buffy wouldn’t have followed him, but something pulled her to him. He was new, and cute. But she knew that if Riley ever saw her socializing with him he’d flip out. Maybe that was why it was exciting to talk to him… because she wasn’t supposed to.

“Well you certainly know your way around the place,” Spikes voice interrupted her thinking.

“Oh, um… One of my childhood friends used to live here. Kinda remember where some rooms are." She put the plate down on the counter and shyly clasped her hands together behind her back, waiting for him to speak again.

Spike just smiled and walked over to the refrigerator. “Drink?”

“Um, no thanks. You know, I should probably get back..."

“But I’ve hardly gotten to know you. Gotta give a bloke a little more info about what’s what and who’s who in this town.” Spike mentally slapped himself for sounding like such a desperate ninny.

“Well what do you want to know?”

He honestly didn’t care. So far he hated it here and his plans were to just get through these last few months, graduate, and head back to England to be with Dru. But, as this small framed little blonde stood in front of him staring, all he seemed to want to do was keep her here as long as possible, so his plan was to ask a bunch of random useless questions and make her think he actually cares about the answers he gets.

“You go to the high school, right?” he asked.

“Yeah…”

“What grade are you in?”

“I’m a senior. You?”

“Same. Hey, follow me upstairs, will you? These boxes go in my room.”

Buffy watched him as he lifted the boxes again and started walking to his right toward the stairs. Once at the top he turned right again and pushed open the door with his foot. The room was freshly painted a dark grey color. His bed that faced the windows on the front of the house had a big black iron headboard and red sheets. Boxes were piled all over the desk and dressers, each of them with permanent black marker that scribbled 'Spikes Room' on each side. The door to his own private bathroom was on the right, and that was painted a dark red color, but nothing else had been done with it.

Buffy walked past him over to the window. It looked directly across the street onto her house. She could see clearly right into her room from where she stood.

Note to self, keep curtains closed at night. Then again, it might be fun to…

“What are you lookin’ at, luv?”

Buffy jumped slightly, not realizing he had walked up to stand right behind her, trying to see whatever it was she was looking at that was making her blush.

“Um, those windows there… that’s my room.”

“Oh,” was all he said. “You got a boyfriend?”

“Yes,” she whirled around with a smile on her face. “His name is Riley and he plays football and basketball and baseball.”

Spike kind of laughed, snorted, and huffed all in one sound.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Lemme guess, you’re a cheerleader?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Buffy crossed her arms and stared at him.

“Great.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing. Good to know is all.”

Spike had a questionable look on his face and Buffy found herself getting more and more insulted by the second.

“I really think its about time I left…” Buffy said as she stormed over toward the door.

As she moved away from him and toward her escape Spike felt a pang go through him as he realized he had thoroughly insulted her. He barely knew the girl but he liked her already, so before she got all the way across the room he jumped in front of her, blocking her only escape.

“Wait…”

“What?” she spat at him.

Spike winced a little. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you all brassed off at me. I jus’ – well I got a thing about jocks and cheerleaders.”

Buffy huffed and went to push past him but he wouldn’t have it.

“But I think I can make an exception for the prettiest girl in bloody Sunnydale.” Did I really just say that? Bloody hell if Dru ever heard that, she'd...

Buffy was still mad, but she could never resist a compliment. “Its fine, but I really do need to get home. I’ve got a few things I need to do.”

“Alright.”

“Um, see you around.” And with that she made her way down the stairs and let herself out. All the while she couldn’t stop thinking about the new blonde across the street. She already knew she wouldn’t be able to speak to him during school and he would probably try and talk to her. She wanted to be able to talk to him, to a lot of people, but the looks Cordy and Angel would give her and what Riley would do… it just wasn’t worth the hassle.

Spike watched through his bedroom window as she walked across the street and into her home. He didn’t know what it was about her but he wanted to be her friend. She was adorable. He wasn’t stupid, he knew she would ignore him in school, pretend she didn’t know him. He could tell by her body language, she wanted a reason to not like him, and he almost gave her one. But somehow the fact that she couldn’t be seen talking to him didn’t bother him.

Who would have thought that the first thing he'd come to like in this place would be a pretty little blonde holding a plate of cookies?

Maybe this place won't be so bad...

TBC

CHAPTER TWO: Hot Hot Heat

"So I looked at her and I was like, I don't associate with underclassmen who couldn't even make it onto the Varsity Cheerleading Squad." Cordelia was ranting on and on at the lunch table outside.

Buffy sat idly beside her, pretending to listen as she poked at the disgusting excuse for macaroni and cheese that was filling her plate.

"Buffy... Buffy! Are you even listening to me?" Cordy huffed.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry Cordy. I just, I'm sort of out of it today."

"What's wrong? Is it about Riley dancing with that girl last night?"

"Dancing is an understatement, Cordy. He was all over her."

Cordelia rolled her eyes at her friend. "He was not. Buffy, you're totally overreacting."

The night before, while at the Bronze Buffy had gone to use the bathroom. When she came back out she couldn't find Riley, but when she finally spotted him he was grinding and rubbing himself all over some slutty dark haired girl with big pasty boobs. Obviously no girl is going to be okay watching her boyfriend live it up with some skank.

After Riley realized she was mad at him he did everything he could think of to make it up to her. Then he went and messed it all up again by unzipping his pants and asking her to suck his dick.

Buffy started to angrily stab at the macaroni she was pushing around earlier.

Cordelia quickly changed the subject and started rambling on about going shopping for her Spring Formal dress.

Buffy's attention was drawn to the man walking past her table toward the parking lot. She made Cordy believe she was still listening but she was watching the new hunk of a guy as he walked up to his car and change from his black t-shirt into a white one.

It was ridiculously hot today and she could see it was getting to him. She watched as he grabbed a half empty bottle of water from the passenger seat of his car and take a big gulp, then pour the rest over his head, shaking the excess off before it could ruin his nice new shirt.

"Who's that?" Cordelia asked.

"What?" Buffy asked, a bit startled by her. She hadn't even noticed her stop talking about whatever it was she was talking about in the first place.

"That guy over by the camaro. Who is that? I don't recognize him..."

"Um, he's new. He just moved in across the street from me."

"You've talked to him?" Cordelia asked with a hint of disgust.

"I didn't want to! My mom made me go over and introduce myself. He's just some guy, totally boring," Buffy said trying to mask the fact that for some reason she really didn't mind him.

"Whatever," Cordy said as she gathered her books together. "I'm cutting out early. I wanna get my nails done. You wanna come?"

"Mmm, tempting, but no. I've got some lame ass test eighth period. Maybe next time."

Cordelia shrugged and flipped her hair over one shoulder. "Suit yourself. Call me later?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Bye."

"See ya." Buffy sighed and dropped her fork onto her plate. "I guess this is goodbye," she mumbled to the sloppy mess of yellow and orange on her plate. After she got up and threw it out she looked over at Spikes car. He was leaning back against it looking all sexy having a cigarette.

Stop it Buffy! You've met him once and your already staring at him thinking things that include the word sexy. He's just a guy. Get it together...


x X x X x X x


Later that day Buffy was sitting on her front porch, staring out onto the blazing hot street while clutching the portable phone. "Riley you promised me you'd come over after school..."

"Buffy I'm sorry, what else do you want me to say? I just don't want to sit there in the heat while I could go to my stepfathers and play xbox with my step brothers in the air conditioning."

The tone of his voice was starting to piss her off. She still wasn’t over the Bronze incident, or his insensitivity in asking her to blow him, and now she had a strong feeling that she was being lied to solely so he wouldn't have to come over here and face her himself.

"Whatever, Riley."

"I gotta go, but Buffy, don't be mad..."

"Too late, Riley. Goodbye." She hung up the phone and slammed it down onto the porch next to her.

"Be gentle, luv. The phone didn't do anything to you."

The deep English accented voice half startled Buffy. She looked up at him with a small, yet obviously fake smile on her lips. "Hey."

"I take it I caught you at a bad time, then..."

"A little bit."

"Sorry. But I was noticing how unbelievably hot it is today and I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a swim?..."

Buffy was a little confused. "You have a pool?"

"Yeh."

"Since when? I don't remember there being a pool at that house..."

Spike didn't really know what to say, he just shrugged and looked back at the house. "It was there when we bought the place. S'all I know."

Buffy was surprised, but as much as it tempted her, she really wasn't in the mood to be all buddy buddy with the new guy. "I appreciate the offer, but I think I'm just gonna go lay down or something."

Spike was a bit disappointed that she obviously didn't want to spend any time with him, but he also expected it. "Suit yourself, pet. I'm going to cool off."

"Okay..." Buffy said as he turned and walked back over to his side of the street.

She got up and went in the house. She had a headache after arguing with Riley and her mom was out at the gallery, so she curled up on the couch. Feeling the warm breeze come through the window, Buffy was ready for a nap.

~~~~~

"Buffy..."

"Hmmm..." the tiny blonde mumbled as she opened her eyes as looked over toward the voice that was calling her name.

"Buffy... look at me."

"Spike?" Wha... how..."

She looked around. She was in Spikes backyard, laying next to the pool and he was hovering over her with a strange look on his face. She felt wet, and when she looked down at herself she noticed she was in her bathing suit, and looked as if she'd just been pulled from the water.

When she looked back up, what was Spike was now Cordelia and she was tugging on Buffy's arm to get up.

"Come on, Buffy! We're gonna be late, the guys are waiting for us."

Buffy got up and looked around warily before following Cordelia over to a large metal door that was on the back of what would be Spikes house. As soon as her and Cordy walked through the door they were in the Bronze.

Music was blaring and she could hear crowds of people talking, but the only people in there were Riley and the girl he danced with the night before, dancing once again.

"Cordelia, who..." When Buffy turned to ask her friend what was going on she was gone. Buffy was getting confused and frustrated. She was watching her boyfriend dance and rub himself all over that girl, AGAIN. And this time, he kissed her.

Buffy was fuming. She stormed over to where they were dancing but when she reached out to slap them both she tripped over something and fell.

~~~~~

Buffy jumped and her eyes shot open. She was laying on the couch in the living room in the dark. The sun had gone down and her mom was still not home. She sat up and was immediately dizzy from the movement and the heat. If it was at all possible she could have sworn it was hotter now than when she had fallen asleep.

"Weird dream..." she murmured to herself. She looked around before heading into the kitchen to grab some ice water. She chugged down the entire glass but still couldn't stop sweating. Buffy walked over to the refrigerator and pulled a cube of ice out of the freezer. She barely pressed it to her skin before it all melted away.

She grunted in frustration and stomped her foot. Crossing her arms she walked up to her room and looked out her window. Across the street she could see the glow of the pool light coming from behind Spikes house.

Maybe he's still out there...

She sighed and walked over to her closet, quickly grabbing her bikini and slipping it on underneath her clothes. Buffy put her hair up in a cute fluffy bun and sprayed herself quick with one small squirt of perfume.

I can't believe I'm doing this...

She made her way downstairs and out her front door. Scurrying across the street she hurried up to his front door. When she rang the doorbell she felt a wave of dread go through her in anticipation of who was going to answer the door. She could hear footsteps coming down the stairs and for a split second she felt like hiding in the bushes.

The door opened and Buffy was slightly relieved that it was Spike who answered and not Mr. Giles.

"Buffy..." he sounded surprised to see her. "What can I do for you?"

"Spike. Hi!" Buffy could feel herself blushing. He was standing there before her wearing nothing but his black swim trunks. His chiseled body was like a statue and a creamy white color. He had a silver chain around his neck and his piercing blue eyes were looking into hers for an answer.

"Um, I know I told you no, but..." she was getting more and more embarrassed as she went on. "Its just so hot out and you know, we could, um, talk and... and get to know each other better. Inthepool..."

Spike chuckled. She was adorable standing there in front of him, her fluffy little bun bouncing on top of her head. Her tanned skin was glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. She looked nervous.

I make the most popular and wanted girl in school nervous.

She was so bloody gorgeous. "Sure, pet. Why not?" he said with a smile as he held the door open and moved over enough for her to make her way into the house.


x X x X x X x


"So you just packed up your stuff and came out here?"

"Well after my uncle came out here and made sure he had a job and we looked at some houses. Yeh it was all kind of fast, and last minute."

"You didn't want to come out here, did you..." Buffy asked, already knowing the answer.

It was 12:15 in the morning and the two of them had been floating around in the pool for about an hour. They were both already more comfortable with each other. They talked about how long Buffy had been living here and why Spike and his uncle, Mr. Giles, moved all the way here from England.

"I miss my girlfriend," he said.

Buffy was surprised. She didn't even think to ask if he had a girlfriend back home.

"What's her name?" Buffy asked.

"Drusilla." Buffy's face was priceless. "Talk about weird names, eh?" Spike chuckled. "Most people just call her Dru, attracts less attention. Then again, she always was one for lots of attention."

"What's she like?" she asked, moving so that she was on her belly on the inner tube she had been sitting on.

"Dru, she's... she's different. She can be so strange and make no sense at times. I used to think she's gone completely sack o' hammers. But when I'm alone with her, the way she looks at me sometimes..." he trailed off, obviously reminiscing about his time with her. "She's my black goddess."

He looked up and gave Buffy a tender smile, sadness now visible in his eyes and Buffy’s stomach dropped, knowing she'd caused it. "Sounds like you two have a really nice relationship."

"Actually its been pretty rocky, but, we're still goin'."

"Well, rocky or not," she looked at him and smiled. "You definitely show your love. I wish I had that," she said as she looked down into the water.

Spike looked at her with a bit of concern. "Trouble in paradise?"

"As of late, yeah," Buffy said with obvious hurt in her eyes.

"Well what's wrong?" Spike asked as he hopped off of his float and drifted closer to her.

"He's just," she sighed and looked up. "He's acting different these days. Like he cares less about what I want and he just does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Like, okay, yesterday I caught him dancing with this total skank, and he acts like its no big deal even though he knows that I know he was all over her."

"Did you talk to him about it?"

"Every time I try he starts avoiding me."

"Ah... so thats what your little rant on the phone was about earlier..."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Well I don't really know what to tell you, Summers. I'm not exactly cut out for the girly chit chat we're doing."

Buffy laughed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to unload all of that on you. It's just nice to talk to someone new."

"Know what you mean, pet."

They shared a knowing smile to each other before Buffy started to climb off of her inner tube. Before she could get all the way off her foot caught and she flipped the thing right over, but Spike quickly moved in and pulled it out from on top of her and helped her steady.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Buffy was bursting with laughter. She had managed to make herself look like a total doofus in a matter of ten seconds.

"I'm fine," she laughed. She was shoved back into reality when she realized that she was pressed against a nice hard chest, covered in soft white skin. Her hands clasped onto his muscular arms and when she looked up into his eyes a shiver went down her spine.

"I um," she cleared her throat. "I should probably get home. Don't want mom to worry."

Spike let her go when he could feel her pull against him a little. "Let me get you a towel," he said and he pulled himself up out of the pool.

By the time Buffy had managed to climb out of the pool herself, Spike was already back with the towel.

He stood there in the doorway between the sliding glass doors. She was leaning over the side of the pool, wringing the water out of her hair. Spike never got a good look at her before since she dove into the pool when he had run into the house to grab something after she'd gotten there. She wore a tiny, almost nothing white bikini that looked amazing against her tanned skin. She also had a small sparkly belly button ring, the same emerald green as her eyes. She truly was gorgeous.

Spike released the breath he didn't realize he was holding and handed her the towel.

"Ere, you can go ahead and take it home with you. I'll get it back another time."

"Thanks," she said wrapping it around her slim frame. "I'll um, see you later."

Before Spike could say anything she walked around the side of the house and back over to her own house.

Spike looked down at one of the patio chairs nearby. She left her t-shirt and shorts.


x X x X x X x


Buffy was already all the way up in her room when she realized she'd left her clothes behind. With a sigh she wrapped the towel back around her and made her way back downstairs.

Spike was up in his room with the sweet smelling clothes in his hands when he heard a tap on the door. He set the clothes down on his bed and went back downstairs again.

When he opened the door he wasn't the least bit surprised to see who it was waiting for him.

"Couldn't live without me, eh?"

Buffy smirked a little. "I left my clothes..."

"I know. Come on."

Buffy closed the door behind her and followed him up the stairs to his bedroom. When she walked in she was surprised to see everything already put in its place, and all the boxes gone.

"Wow."

"What?" he asked as he picked up the ball of clothes she was waiting for.

"Your room. It's very... you."

Spike raised an eyebrow at her.

"You know what I mean... Red sheets, black comforter, Sex Pistols posters. It's all very you."

"Yeah. Guess that’s why they call it my room."

Buffy blushed and looked down, embarrassed.

Spike just smiled. "God you're adorable."

Her head shot up. "You think I'm adorable?"

"Yeah," he said handing her the clothes. "I do."

She blushed a little more but with a shy smile on her face this time as their fingers brushed against one another.

"Goodnight, Spike."

"Goodnight, Buffy."

TBC

CHAPTER THREE: Skin

"So what did you say to him?" Cordy asked as they carried their lunch trays over to their table.

"All I said was 'whatever' and hung up on him. Haven't talked to him since."

"He's probably afraid to come talk to you, he thinks you're just gonna keep yelling at him."

"I never yelled at him, Cordy. I hung up on him just so that I wouldn't yell at him. He's just being an ass," she said as they took their seats at the table where Angel was already waiting for them.

"So then what did you do Friday night? Since Riley never showed..." Cordy said as she stuffed some salad into her mouth.

Buffy threw a quick glance over toward where Spike was sitting with a few of his new friends. She turned back, grateful that neither Angel nor Cordelia noticed her glance. "Oh you know... lazy day. It was too hot to do anything else."

"Hey guys," Riley said as he sat down between Buffy and Cordelia. "What’s up?"

Buffy took a sip of her juice and sort of glared at him. "You haven’t called," she said keeping her attention on her plate.

"Didn't exactly feel like you wanted me to," he said staring at her. "Buffy I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to say?"

Buffy stopped fiddling with her food when he put his arm around her. She sighed and let her body fall against him a little.

Spike looked over from his table just in time to watch as Buffy’s boy toy put his arm around her in a sort of possessive manner. He didn't like it. He watched as Buffy finally smiled and picked up conversation with her friends at the table.

"Spike... Spike! Is something wrong?" the red headed girl meekly asked.

"Hm? Oh uh, 'm fine, red."

"You just seem kind of out of it. Did Cordy and her friends do something to you?"

"What? No. I know the Summers girl a little, s'all," he said as he went back to eating his french fries.

"You know her?!?" the brunette boy sitting at the table with them practically choked on his fish sticks. "You've been here less than a week and you've already spoken to Buffy Summers?"

"How do you know her?" Willow asked as she looked at Spike with a puzzled look on her face.

"I moved in across the street from her," was all he said, knowing that if Buffy had ever found out he was spreading word that they hung out, she'd kill him.

"Oh," Willow said as she looked over at the popular kids table. Cordelia looked up and noticed her staring so she gave a facial expression that read 'Keep staring, I dare you,' so Willow quickly looked away.

Back over at the popular table Cordelia snorted and looked at Buffy. "The losers over there apparently find us interesting today."

Buffy quickly looked back over to where Spike was sitting and noticed him glance at her real quick. He made it subtle, but he winked at her during a stretch. She spared a small smile and waved at him under the table. Not one of her friends noticed, they just kept on talking about whatever it was they were talking about.

Back at Spikes table Xander was going nuts. He saw her smile and wave at Spike. He almost couldn't believe his eyes. Buffy Summers, the hottest most popular girl in school was waving to a member of the so called 'losers table.'

He swallowed hard and looked at Spike. "Can I come live with you?"


x X x X x X x


After school Buffy was laying on her bed talking to Cordelia on the phone. They were carrying on a good conversation about how orange just simply could not be the new pink when she was interrupted by the loud blaring of a lawnmower. She could barely make out what Cordy was saying anymore.

"Buffy what is that?" Cordy asked.

"Someone’s mowing their lawn outside," she said as she got up to close her window.

When she reached the window she bent over and peered out and saw that is was the handsome blonde across the street who was making all the noise. Buffy was completely entranced. He was out there in the heat, with no shirt on and Buffy could see the sweat glistening off of him. His arms were flexed as he pushed the mower back and forth. His shorts hung low on his hips and when he turned his back to her, revealed he had a nice tribal tattoo on his lower back just above his butt. Buffy found herself unconsciously licking her lips.

"Buffy?..." Cordelia said for the fifth time as she waited for a response.

"Cordy I'm gonna have to call you back," she said as she hit a button on the phone and let it drop to the floor without even waiting for a response.

Buffy kneeled down and crossed her arms on the windowsill. Setting her head on her arms she sat back and watched as he made his way around to the side of the house.

He shut the mower off and wiped his brow with the back of his arm. Buffy’s eyes traveled down his body, admiring every muscle that rippled under his skin.

What was it about this guy of all guys? Riley had nice muscle tone and all but he was too big. Buffy needed to stand on her tippy toes just to give him a quick kiss. He seemed almost... fake. Spike, however, was all too real. Something was pulling her to him. She had no idea what it was, but she was determined to find out.


x X x X x X x


Buffy was laying in bed wide awake. Even through the rest of her phone conversation with Cordelia and one with Riley she kept seeing Spike. When they were in the pool together and when he was mowing the lawn earlier today. He was driving her insane.

She couldn't sleep, and her insomnia was really bothering her. She tossed and turned searching for a comfortable position, but couldn't find one.

With a sigh and a grunt of frustration she sat up and turned her light on, squinting from the sudden brightness. She threw the covers off of herself and reached for her silk robe, got up and walked over to the window and looked down on Spikes house across the street.

His bedroom light was still on.

I'm going over there...

Buffy ran over to her bedside and flipped off her light then made her way back over to the window. Opening it slowly and carefully so she didn't wake her mother, she slid her tiny tan frame through the window to the roof of her front porch.

She stepped over on to the big branch that reached out toward her and made her way down the tree and into the cool grass.

Sneaking across the street toward the front door she decided not to ring the doorbell. Buffy felt like being sexy tonight and she felt like doing something wild and unexpected. Instead of going through the front door, which probably wouldn't have pleased Mr. Giles very much anyway, she made her way around the side of the house and began to climb the lattice on the side of the house.

It creaked slightly under her weight but not nearly enough to break. Slowly she made her way to the top and as she got there her heartbeat started to really speed up. She grabbed onto the gutter and stepped onto the small ledge that was in front of her.

"God help me..." she whispered to herself as she slowly crept on the high ledge back toward the front of the house and over to where the windows were. It was closed and when she looked in she could not see Spike.

Shit.

She held on to the gutter with one hand and she carefully brought her other hand down to try and pry the window open from outside. It wasn't working.

Double shit. Where is he?

When she stopped and listened carefully she could hear the shower running in the next room over.

Of course I choose the ten minutes he's in the shower to crawl through his bedroom window.

She waited there for a few minutes, peering in at all of his things as she waited for him to come out of the bathroom. When she finally heard the shower stop she could feel a rush and excitement wash through her again.

The bathroom door opened and she shifted a little, waiting for him to come through so she could get his attention. The moment she saw him she began to tap on the glass.

Holy crap he has a nice body. Mmm, abs.

When he looked up and saw her practically dangling on the ledge outside the window he rushed over and unlocked the pane and lifted the window.

"What on earth are you doing, Summers?" he asked as he grabbed her arm and helped her through the window.

"I uh, I couldn't..." she started to trail off as she straitened herself out, realizing fully at that moment how completely naked he was under that heavy towel that hung so loosely on his hips. "Um, I - I couldn't sleep." She could feel her face burning as she undoubtedly turned a bright shade of pink.

"Well what made you want to climb through my bloody window?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"I don't know," she said shifting slightly. "Felt like a cool idea at the time," she said with a smirk. "And what are you doing showering this late? Shouldn't you be going to bed?"

"I'm always up late. I like the dark."

"Well... that’s stupid."

He crossed his muscular arms and raised one eyebrow. "So you just decided to come over here and scold me on my sleeping habits, then?"

"No, but it was a bonus."

He smirked a little then walked over to his dresser to grab some shorts.

When Buffy noticed he was holding a pair of shorts she unconsciously pouted a bit, remembering part of their conversations from before. "Didn't you tell me you sleep naked?"

"I do," he said with a smirk. "But I'm not about to just drop the towel and spread 'em wide with you standing right there," and with that he got her to turn even more red. "What about you, you sleep in all that? That's bloody annoying."

"No, I just put the robe on when I came over here."

"Well what’s underneath it?" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"In your dreams, Billy boy," she said as she hopped over to his bed and sat down, pulling the covers over her cold toes.

Spike walked back into his bathroom and closed the door slightly, but Buffy could still see the reflection of his top half in the mirror.

Yummy...

She watched the floor as the towel landed there with a thud and she listened as the silky black basketball shorts were pulled on.

When he came back out Buffy had untied and spread her robe to reveal her tiny cheerleading shorts and almost see-through white tank top.

"Only in my dreams, eh?" he said with another smirk. "I like my dreams."

Buffy smiled a bit, taking that as a compliment but she couldn't really think of anything witty to say back. She was way too distracted by the sexy... no, extremely sexy male blonde walking around in front of her, wearing nothing but some thin, black silk basketball shorts.

Riley never looks that sexy. Riley couldn't look that sexy.

"So... what are you doin' 'ere, Summers?" he asked as he sat down in his desk chair and spun around to face her.

"I told you, I couldn't sleep."

"Yeh. But why don't you just turn on the telly or write in your girly little journal or call one one of your girly mates. You came here. Why?"

Why the hell do I keep coming here? It's not like I like him or anything. I have Riley for that. Plus, he's all punk and dark with the accent and musk and amazing blue eyes and...

"I don't know," she said looking away. "I guess I just liked coming here yesterday. I wanted to do it again."

"Really..." he said with a smile forming at his lips. He was thrilled that she liked coming here. He certainly didn't mind it one bit. "So what do you want to do?" he asked standing up and going over to sit next to her.

"I don't know. What's fun to do at your house?"

"Um, nothing really. Watch the telly, go on the net, have hot raunchy sex you know... the usual."

Buffy just laughed and smacked his arm. His oh so creamy while muscular arm.

Trying to find ways not to drool over him she got up and went over to his computer. When the monitor turned on she could see the background wallpaper was of him and another girl.

"Is that Dru?" she asked, turning to look at him. He was laying back on one elbow looking up at her and even though he wasn't trying, he was making Buffy blush with naughty thoughts.

"Yeh," he said with sadness in his voice and on his face. Not wanting to go on any further with it, Buffy decided to just download some music instead. When she clicked on the link that looked right a new video window popped up.

Spike's eyes went wide and he jumped up from the bed and lunged toward the computer.

"What's this?" Buffy asked as she clicked play.

"It's nothing..." he said as she reached for the mouse but it was too late. The video already started. "Oh, bullocks."

"Oh. My. God. You watch porn?!?" Buffy shrieked as she burst out laughing. Spike tried to wrestle her away from the computer but she wouldn't have it. She couldn't stop giggling.

They kept wrestling and Buffy could feel his skin pressed against her back as she was lifted out of the chair. Spike tried desperately to hold Buffy back with one hand while he tried to close the video with the other. Buffy jumped at him and together they toppled to the floor.

Buffy's back was on the floor. Spike was laying flat on top of her. They stared at each other as they both panted for air. They were staring into each others eyes breathing heavily when all of a sudden Buffy burst into laughter again.

"What?" Spike asked with a pout.

"You watch porn. You didn't strike me as the type of guy who would watch porn, but you know, now I see it."

"Sod off!" he said as he lifted himself up off her and went back to the bed.

Buffy propped herself up on her elbows and crossed her legs, never taking her eyes off of him. "Its not... a bad thing, really. I guess with your girlfriend in a completely different continent you gotta get your rocks off somehow..."

Spike sighed and looked up at her. "She's not my girlfriend anymore."

Buffy’s smile faded and she sat all the way up and faced him completely. "I'm sorry. I didn't know," she said looking a little embarrassed.

"S'okay. It just happened a few hours ago."

Buffy shrugged. "I'm still sorry. Can um... can I ask what happened?" she asked carefully.

"Guess I'm just no good to keep around unless I'm actually around, in the flesh."

Buffy paused for a second. "Are you upset about it?"

"Well yeah I'm bloody upset about it, what do you think?"

"Well you didn't mention it before..."

"I was distracted."

"By what?"

"You! Climbing through my window, which I still don't quite understand. You're too good to look at me in the halls at school but you can climb through my window at all hours of the night whenever you feel like it?"

Buffy stood up and stormed toward the window. "If you didn't want me here you should have told me. I'll leave you alone."

"No! Cuh, Buffy. I don't want you to leave. I'm just - I, ugh. I'm confused. This is the second time in two weeks you've come over in the middle night and I just don't get why."

"I don't know. I guess I like you," she said walking over and sitting in front of him on the bed. "Its just, in school, things are different. If Riley ever caught me talking to you or even just smiling and waving at you in the hall, he'd go after you. And I'm so sick of Cordelia complaining about certain people and the last thing I want is to give her another reason to bitch and now that I say that out loud I sound really conceited, don't I?"

"Well, yeah." Buffy blushed and looked down at her hands. "But I guess I don't mind it."

"Riley, Angel, and their friends really would come after you. They're always looking for a reason to fight and I don't want their next target to be you."

"I don't care. It'll be worth it," he said with a charming smile.

"Why do you do that?" Buffy asked, trying to hold back a smile of her own.

"Do what?"

"Make me swoon even after I've basically told you I can't talk to you in public in fear of my reputation..."

Spike perked up a bit. "I make you swoon?"

"You know what I mean!" she said with a playful smack to the arm.

"I'll take what I can get. Don't exactly have a lot of friends here."

Buffy shifted and faced him completely. "I'll be your secret best friend," she said with a little bounce.

"Is that right..."

"Yeah why not? We've only known each other for a few weeks and already I'm climbing through your window when I'm bored. You can come over my house and I'll come over yours and we can be secret best friends. Talk and do homework together..."

She looked so adorably cute bouncing around and getting excited about being his friend. There was no way he was going to argue with her. "Alright. We're secret best friends."

Buffy smiled and yawned and looked over at the clock. 1:45 "I think I'm gonna hit the sack," she said standing up.

Spike was disappointed that she was leaving already. He didn't want her to leave.

She made her way over to the window and stuck one leg out. Turning her head to look up at Spike who was now standing by her side. "Hey," she whispered. "Keep your window unlocked from now on," and with a smile she was gone out the window, down the side of the house, and across the street.

Spike watched her climb back into her room before he slipped his shorts off and climbed into bed. Turning the light off and hugging his pillow he breathed in her scent. She left it all over his bed. Laying there breathing her in made his mind wander.

"Make sure you keep your window unlocked..." her words rang through his head. She'd be back. Sometime, another night, she'd be back.

Dru just dumped you, you git! Why are you thinkin' about someone else already?

There was just something about her that was so much more appealing than Dru. Buffy was much more alive. Her smile, her green eyes, her tan little body...

Fuck.

Laying there thinking about her, being able to smell her, imagining the feeling of her hot skin against his was making him painfully hard much easier than the porn ever did. Without even realizing what he was doing, his hand wrapped around his cock and he started to pump. Slow at first then faster and faster until his eyes snapped open and he realized what he was doing.

"Bloody hell..."

Shower... shower. Cold shower...

Spike shot up in his bed and made his way back to the bathroom. A cold shower was definitely what he needed right now.

TBC

CHAPTER FOUR: Untouchable

It had been over a week and Buffy hadn't really seen much of Spike. She had opted once or twice to call Riley instead of going over there. That was what she should do, right?

With a sigh Buffy got up off the couch and slipped a pair of flip flops on, grabbed a little jacket and her purse and decided to walk up to the video store and see if she couldn't find anything to rent.

She was about two blocks away when she could hear a familiar engine sound coming up from behind her. Anticipation grew in her gut as the camaro passed her, and she was semi-relieved and semi-disappointed at the same time, that was, until the car stopped and started backing toward her.

"Oh here we go..." she mumbled quietly to herself.

"Oi! Summers, you need a ride?" the blonde in the car yelled over to her.

"Um, no thanks. I'm just walking up to that plaza over there," she said pointing in that general direction.

"Where you goin'?"

"The video store."

"By yourself? Or is your hunnie gonna meet up with you later?" he asked as she kept walking. He brought the car to a slow roll that matched the pace at which she was walking.

"No," she said with a pout. "He's out with Angel and the guys."

"Where's Cordelia?" he asked as he looked back and forth between her and the road.

His questions were making her feel lonelier and lonelier by the second. "I don't know," she said with a shrug. "But I don't feel like calling her. She got on my nerves today so I don't really wanna listen to her yap all night."

"Oooo look at you," Spike said as Buffy came to a stop and turned toward the car.

She looked at him as he brought the car to a stop. She had tried to avoid him for two weeks, feeling awkward about her suggesting they be 'secret best friends'. Part of her was telling her she was being stupid, acting like a twelve year old, and another part of her was saying he didn't seem to mind and that he could use some friends here anyway.

Oh what the hell...

She marched her way over to the passenger’s side of the car and let herself in. "You busy tonight?"

Spike was drinking her in. She was the prettiest god damned thing he'd ever seen.

"Sort of..." he said and was pleased when she seemed disappointed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking my secret best friend to the video store, then I'm going to buy lots of snacks and then I'm going to ask her if I may join her in watching said videos."

The excitement and joy on Buffy’s face made Spike feel warm inside. He shifted gears and took off down the street with a roar and a pleased look on his face.

Buffy watched him. His cheekbones looked even more prominent when he smiled. Her eyes traveled to his hair. It was sexy the way he had it bleached and slicked back. His eyebrows were a dark color, though.

"What's your real hair color?"

Spike looked at her with a furrowed brow, but sort of chuckled at the same time. "It's brown. Why?"

"I don't know. I just was wondering 'cause I noticed your dark eyebrows."

"You think I should beach them too?" he asked.

"No, it's sexier the way you have it."

She thinks I'm sexy...

Buffy mentally slapped herself for saying that out loud, but thankfully he hadn't said anything after that.

She thinks I'm sexy she thinks I'm sexy she thinks I'm sexy...

They pulled into the parking lot of the video store and Spike turned the car off.

"Nice car, by the way," Buffy said as they both got out of the car.

"It's alright. I miss my DeSoto I had back in England. It was my baby."

"You mean you just got this when you came here?" she asked as he held the video store door for her.

"Yeh. It was my bribe gift to come here. Uncle Rupert figured it would cheer me up."

"Did it?"

"For about a day. But a car isn't the same as home."

Buffy felt sorry for him. The thought of losing your family and then being basically forced to move to a whole new country, leaving everything behind, it must be awful for him.

"You seem okay though."

"Well pet, that's just 'cause I've got you around," he said with a wink.

Okay, he's not human. No guy says cute things like that while still looking sexier than sexy itself.

"So, what kind of movie are you lookin' for, pet?"


x X x X x X x


A half hour later Buffy came through the front door with a smile plastered on her face. Spike followed behind with a couple movies and a bag full of ice cream, soda, and a box of popcorn.

"Hey Buffy..." her mom said as she came down the stairs while putting her coat on. "I've gotta go to the gallery. We've got a mini apocalypse on our hands over there," she laughed. "Hello, William."

Spike's jaw twitched but he plastered a smile on his face. "Hello Mrs. Summers."

Buffy giggled.

"Please, call me Joyce, Mrs. Summers makes me feel so old."

"Well in that case, please call me Spike. It's a nickname I go by."

Joyce and Buffy just shrugged at each other and Joyce kept getting her things together.

"We're having a movie night, okay mom?"

"Of course. Have fun," she said as she kissed her goodbye. "Goodnight, Spike!" she yelled as she ran out the door.

"Your mum always pull late nights like that?" Spike asked as he followed Buffy into the kitchen.

"Yeah," she said as she stuffed the little pints of ice cream into the freezer. "She's the go-to lady whenever something goes wrong, which is pretty often."

She's alone at night all the time... that could be very convenient...

"Which movie do you want to watch first?" Buffy asked as she put a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

Spike looked at his options. Clueless, Scooby Doo, and Just Friends. He raised an eyebrow. "How ever will I choose..." he said sarcastically.

"Let's watch Scooby Doo!" she said as she snatched the movie from him and bounded into the living room. Spike chuckled and followed her, stopping to drape his coat over the stair rail.


x X x X x X x


"Well," Spike began with a yawn. "That was by far the worst movie I've ever seen."

"Hey! I thought it was good. Daphne is my idol," she said with a smile.

"She was pretty hot."

Buffy smirked. "Speaking of girls, have you been looking for any girls you might like to take out, you know, now that you and Dru are over?"

You...

"No, not really," he said.

"Well you should start lookin'. Spring formal is coming up in a few weeks. You can't go alone..."

"I don't do dances, luv. Not my cup of tea."

"Why not?" she said with a pout.

"Because... I don't know. Never liked 'em. Dru never liked them either. She would make me take her, but she wouldn't ever dance. She just ran off and talked to her friends the whole time.

"Well there's you problem. You need a date that knows how to have fun. One who's not gonna ditch you the minute you get there..."

"Is that right..."

"Riley is always a good dancer. He knows how to have fun," she said. She touched a nerve in Spike by mentioning him though. "But sometimes he goes off with his buddies and I end up sitting there, twiddling my thumbs."

"It can't be hard to get a bloke to come up to you and ask you to dance..."

"Well, in the past it was easy, but I mean, I can't just dance with anybody..." she said as Spike realized she was talking about her reputation. "Plus, most guys now are afraid that Riley will come after them. Even his own friends."

"You know, the more you talk about him, the more I can't stand him. The only good thing you've said is that he's supposedly a good dancer, although I wager I'm way better than him."

With a smile Buffy's mouth dropped open. "You've never even danced."

"I never said that. I just said I don't do dances."

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," she said with a poke.

He grabbed her wrist. "What? Right here right now?"

She laughed as she struggled to get her arm free. "Yeah, why not?"

"Because," he laughed as Buffy used her other hand to tickle him.

Together they started to laugh out loud and squirm to get away from one another’s hands.

Figures.... she puts her hands on me but it's got to be tickles...

Spike finally managed to grab hold of her other hand and as she struggled to break free they toppled to the floor, knocking the popcorn bowl over spilling popcorn and un-popped kernels everywhere.

"Spike," Buffy laughed. "Spike stop!"

"Make me! You should bloody well know not to tickle a man," she smirked.

Buffy was telling him to stop but she really didn't want him to. He had her hands pinned above her head with one of his hands and he tickled her with the other. The smirk that was on his face had Buffy melting into a big puddle of Buffy goo. She knew she should have been making him stop, reminding him and herself that she had a boyfriend, and even if she didn't have a boyfriend she was Buffy Summers. She shouldn't be on the floor being tickled. Even if it was a really hot sexy blonde...

You know what... I AM Buffy Summers, and I'm going to do whatever the hell I want.

Just as she was getting ready to fight back the phone began to ring. The wrestling stopped.

"I 'spose you'll wanna get that," he said in a low sexy voice as he released her wrists and stood up, holding out his hand to help her up as well.

"Thanks," she said as she smoothed her clothes and walked over to the still ringing phone. Spike looked around and saw the popcorn splayed out everywhere and began to pick it all up.

"Hello?" Buffy said as she picked up the phone. "Riley... hi."

Spike gritted his teeth as he put the bowl back on the table. He waited for a minute or two while she was talking before just deciding to go home.

Walking over to the staircase he grabbed his duster and quietly slipped out the door.

"Sorry, I -" Buffy hung up the phone and turned toward where she had left Spike standing, but he was gone. Her bottom lip poked out as she turned the corner and saw that his jacket was gone.


x X x X x X x


The next day in school Buffy sat at her desk, tapping her pen against her books impatiently waiting for the bell to ring and release her from the boring chains of American History. She kept thinking about her various encounters with Spike. As she sat and thought about it she couldn't remember why she did it, why she willingly hung out with him time and time again. She could easily call up Cordy or Riley and talk their ears off until she got tired. Instead she found pleasure in being with Spike. Spike! A bleached, punkish english guy. Buffy couldn't even comprehend why she was so attracted to him - NOT that she was attracted to him or anything...

Buffy groaned out loud at her thoughts but before anyone got to stare at her in wonder the bell rang, saving her. She sighed and gathered all of her books together before trying to bolt out the door. But before she could even get all the way out the door she ran flat into a rock-hard chest, covered in a familiar tight black t-shirt.

"Oh boy..."

"Whoa there, Summers. You could kill a bloke with that speed. Where are you goin' that you're in such a hurry?" Spike asked.

"I, um, need to talk to Riley," she said while moving a piece of hair out of her face.

"I see. Well you better be more careful, don't want to plow anyone over," he said with a small smirk.

Buffy couldn't help but smile when he smirked like that.

"So," he began. "You got any exciting plans for this weekend?" he asked as they began to walk down the hall together, earning curious looks from all the other people who had never seen Buffy Summers associate with anyone outside of the fab-four.

"Friday nights in the life of Buffy are usually occupied at the Bronze."

"The Bronze?"

"Uh huh," she said with a little pep.

"What's the Bronze?"

"You don’t know about the Bronze? Oh my god it's like the only thing there is to do in Sunnydale."

"I see..."

"It's like a small club, but people of all ages are allowed. There’s live music on the weekends, a good DJ throughout the week. There's a pool table, a bar, good food, fun drinks, dancing. It's the it in Sunnydale."

They turned the corner in the hall and Buffy could see Cordelia standing by her locker putting books in.

"Well I'm off," Spike said, knowing full well that Buffy was afraid to be seen with him. "See ya 'round Summers."

"Bye," she said quietly as Spike turned around and Buffy kept going toward Cordelia. Before she even got to say anything to her Riley came storming up from behind.

"Who the fuck was that, Buffy?"

"What? Who?"

"That freak you were walking with. What the fuck was that about?" he demanded.

"Riley, calm down. He's just my neighbor."

"So what? Now you'll socialize with all of the freaks that live in your neighborhood?"

"Why were you talking to him, Buffy?" Cordelia asked.

"You guys, I ran into him coming out of class, like, literally. It's not my fault he started following me." Buffy immediately felt guilty.

Her two friends just stared at her for a few moments. "I don't wanna see you talking to him again," Riley said. "Let's go, we're leaving."

"Fine. See you later Cordy," she said as Riley stormed off toward the parking lot and Buffy followed.

"Bye."


x X x X x X x


"So do you guys wanna go to the Bronze?" the redhead asked. She turned toward Spike. "The Bronze is..."

"Yeah I know. Buf... um, I've heard of it."

"Well do you wanna go? I haven't been there in a while."

"Sounds good to me," the boy in the back seat said. "You up for it Spike?"

Spike finished the last drag of his cigarette and tossed the butt out his window. "Point me in the direction, red," he said as he blew smoke out the window and hit the gas.

"O-okay, turn right at the next light, then left into the alley."

"This is so cool. Cruisin' in a sweet car, hangin' out at the Bronze," Xander paused with a smile on his face and looked at Spike from the back seat. "Can I hug you?"

"No," Spike quickly answered.

Xander quickly sat back in his seat. "Okay."

"Right here," Willow said as Spike turned into the large alley and parked where a few other cars were parked.

As they got out of the car they could hear music being played inside. Spike hit the lock button on his key ring and listened as the alarm armed itself with a little beep.

Xander smiled and laughed with giddiness as they walked through the doors into the club. It was small, but it was better than nothing.

"Spike... pool?" Xander said grabbing a couple of pool sticks.

"Yeh," he said with a smile. "Be prepared to lose your money, Harris," he said as he took off his duster and handed it to Willow, who was sitting on a small couch next to the table.

"Money? There's money to be lost?" he asked nervously.

Spike chuckled. "Fine, loser buys the winner a drink. How's that?"

"That I can do," he said as he set up the rack.

As Xander continued to set up the game Spike turned toward the dance floor and leaned back against the table. As the music switched from one song to another a few people scattered away creating a clearing to the middle of the dance floor.

And there she was.

She was there wearing an almost nothing halter top and tight leather pants, swaying her hips with her hands above her head. She had a sweet smile on her face as Cordy said something to her. That was when Spike noticed the crowd she was with.

The dumb jock she called her boyfriend was behind her, holding her hips as he bumped himself into her. The other two standing next to them were doing the same thing.

She calls that dancing?

Spike felt the urge to run over and pelt him right in the face, break his nose so bad that he would never stop smelling blood.

Bloody poof.

"Spike... you wanna break?"

Spike willed himself to look away and clenched his jaw for a second. "Yeh," he said and he set himself up and shot the first shot, sending the balls rolling across the table with a crack.

When he looked back up Buffy was staring at him and when she noticed him look up she slapped a seductive smirk on her face. She never took her eyes off of him as she slithered around, rubbing and grinding on the man behind her.

"Bloody tease..." Spike smirked.


x X x X x X x


After four games of pool and a couple of drinks Spike decided to call it a night, but needed to run to the men’s room first. As he turned into the dark hall to go toward the bathroom he heard a familiar voice.

"Babe, I told you I was bringing her here tonight. I do every friday night."

"But Riley," the female voice started. A female voice that wasn't Buffy. Spike immediately shrunk back into the shadows as his eyes adjusted enough to see the woman who was hanging all over Buffy's boy toy. "Riley you said we could see each other tonight. How are we supposed to go out if you bring your girlfriend with you?" the brunette woman asked.

She was short, real busty and was horribly pale. Her dark lipstick was making her look dead and the big meaty boots she was wearing did nothing for her figure.

"I know. I was going to come get you after I took her home," he said grabbing her and pulling her closer to him. "I was gonna bring toys," he said as he kissed down her neck.

Spikes eyes went wide. He knew the poof was well, a poof, but he didn't think anyone would ever cheat on Buffy. His mind began to race, should he tell her? Should he pretend he never saw? She needed to find out somehow, but it was really none of his business either.

How was he going to tell the most popular and beautiful girl in school that her precious boyfriend was cheating on her? It would humiliate her.

Spike looked back at the table where Buffy was sitting, smiling and laughing with her other friends. He didn't want to be the reason her smile goes away, but at the same time he couldn't pretend he didn't see what he saw.

Now it was up to him to find the best way possible to break his new best friends heart.

TBC

CHAPTER FIVE: Secrets

Spike sat in class, staring idly out the window, thinking about what he should do. He still couldn't decide. Three days later and he still hadn't come up with a way to tell her. He was so afraid to break her heart, even if that meant not ever getting a chance with her.

Wait, since when do I want a chance to be with Buffy? We're just friends, she's just my neighbor. She's completely drop dead gorgeous and she's the only person I ever seem to want to be around but we're definitely just friends...

Spike rolled his eyes and put his face down on the desk.

Bloody hell...

The bell rang and he pulled himself out of the desk and walked off toward the parking lot. When he pushed through the double doors that looked out over said parking lot he saw the blonde figure of his thoughts leaned up against his car, seemingly waiting for him.

He wasn't going to lie, he was happy to see her. "What're you doin' 'ere, Summers? Aren't you afraid someone might see you speaking to a lower being?" he asked as he pulled his keys put of his pocket and unlocked the car.

"Ha. Ha," Buffy said sarcastically, followed by a smirk when he smiled at her. "Riley's not here today. After the Bronze on friday night he went camping with his step brothers. He hasn't come home yet and I was wondering if I could get a ride home..."

Spike smiled sort of sadly at her. She seemed so innocent. She believed the poof. Spike knew the truth, he was off with that whore of a girl and Buffy had no idea...

"Get in," he said as he opened the door for her.

Buffy was taken back. She never had anyone be so kind in a simple gesture of opening the car door for her.

I don't think Riley has ever opened a door for me...

"Thank you," she said with her trademark half-smile as she held her books to her chest and slid into the passenger’s seat. She had butterflies in her stomach. Maybe she should have taken advantage of Riley being gone all weekend. She should have gone over to Spikes and spent some time with him.

Buffy watched him as Spike sat down in the driver’s seat. She couldn't deny it to herself anymore. She was completely attracted to him. She had been less and less attracted to Riley since the day she met Spike. She had been so ashamed of it at first but something kept pulling her to him. She could feel he liked her too. The problem was, she did still have feelings for Riley. But just the thought of someone new and exciting...

"Do you wanna hang out?" she asked out of nowhere.

"What?" Spike asked with a chuckle.

"Do you wanna hang out?... with me?" she asked again. "We could either go to my house, or we could stay at yours. Whatever you want."

Spike looked back and forth between her and the road. She was waiting for an answer. He told himself he should say no thanks and make up an excuse. She had a boyfriend, granted, that boyfriend was off snogging some other chit at this very moment...

Maybe I can get her to dump the poof and that way I'd never have to break it to her that she's being cheated on... and then maybe I could have a chance...

"Yeah, okay. We'll go to your place," Spike said.

Buffy studied his face. He looked like he was deep in thought, being torn from one emotion to another. "Okay," she said with a furrowed brow.

The rest of the car ride was virtually silent. Spike was pondering what he should do. He obviously liked the girl but he was willing to bet that she wouldn't ever give him a chance. Not with the status she was upholding now.

When Spike pulled in to his driveway Buffy looked back up at him again. "Ready?" she asked.

"Sure," he said as he got out of the car and together they walked across the street into Buffy's house.

"My mom's not home," Buffy said as she put her things down. "So um, I guess we can do whatever you want to do..."

Spike smirked and arched a brow at her. "What makes you think I would want to do something that your mum wouldn't approve of?"

"I wasn't implying that... I-I was just saying..." Buffy was blushing wildly. Spike thought it was adorable. He just chuckled and started walking up the stairs. "Where are you going?" she asked as she started following him.

"I'm gonna look at your room," he said bluntly.

"Ugh! That's nosey..." she said as she followed Spike as he peeked his head into each room trying to find hers. When he found it he had no problem walking right in and looking at her stuff.

"What are you doing?"

"Lookin' at your stuff," he said simply.

"What? Why?"

"You look at my stuff..."

"I do not. Stop it!" she said smacking his hand.

"Make me," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Buffy pursed her lips and grabbed hold of his wrists. She pushed him violently backwards until his feet hit something and he fell back on the bed.

Now this could be interesting...

Spike was caught completely off guard. He hadn't expected her to actually become aggressive, but judging by the smirk on her face he was guessing she wasn't actually mad.

When she pushed him back on the bed she climbed up and straddled him.

Spike was dumbfounded.

Oh don't do this to me...

"Bloody tease," he said as he tried to lift his head.

Buffy's smirk grew and an eyebrow went up. "Who said I was just gonna tease you?"

Spike was totally turned on but couldn't even think. This was way too unexpected. "What are you doing to me, Summers?" he asked in a deep, husky, lust-filled voice.

"I-I don't..." Buffy was surprised at herself. She didn't know what possessed her to do what she'd done or what brought it on her actions but she was really really enjoying it. Suddenly she just had the urge to...

Buffy was leaning down, coming closer and closer to him. He was getting so hard he thought his jeans might burst and his mouth was watering. He wanted to taste her, wanted to devour her whole.

Their faces were centimeters apart when they heard the front door slam shut.

"Buffy?..."

Buffy started to panic. "Oh my... uh... go, get under the bed," she said as she jumped off of him and grabbed his hand. "Quick!"

Spike groaned when Buffy dismounted herself and rolled off the side of the bed.

"Buffy?" The male voice was getting closer.

"Uh... I'm here!" Buffy yelled as Spike slid under her bed. From the shadows he watched as Buffy straitened herself out and stood by the bed. Riley appeared in the doorway and looked around curiously.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing. What are you doing here? I thought you were still camping..."

Spike grit his teeth.

Camping my arse...

"Just got back," the large man said. "Figured I'd come see my beautiful girl."

Spike was fuming. Stuck hiding underneath the girls bed while her lying son-of-a-bitch boyfriend was trying to make her swoon.

Buffy shifted a little and suddenly when Spike looked up he could see right up her skirt from where he was lying.

"S-So are you like, staying or did you just drop by to say hi?"

Spike kept shifting so that maybe he could get an even better look. He must have been making some kind of noise in the process because Buffy tipped her foot back and kicked him in the shoulder. He refrained from making any more noise.

"Well, I was gonna stay for a little bit, if that's alright..."

"Um, sure, I mean... I guess if you want..."

Riley looked at her suspiciously. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back and then you're gonna tell me what's going on..."

As Riley walked into the bathroom and closed the door Buffy fell to her knees and pulled Spike out from under the bed.

"What were you doing?" she whispered. "You were making a lot of noise. Do you want to get pummeled?"

"I could take him..." he sneered as he looked toward the door Riley was behind.

"Shhh! Go go go, out the window," she said as they heard a flush. "Hurry! Go go go!"

Buffy practically pushed him out the window. Spike was smirking the entire time. This whole situation was all too funny. To him this was all fucking hilarious. As he climbed down the tree and across the yard Riley reappeared in the doorway.

"So, who's glad to see me?"


x X x X x X x


Buffy's heart was pounding. Something was different about this night, she knew it. Because of what almost happened between her and Spike earlier that day... Because of the surprising sadness she felt when they had to stop because Riley showed up.

What kind of girlfriend am I for being disappointed when my boyfriend tries to surprise me? One that doesn't care I guess...

She felt like a pro as she climbed the lattice on the side of Spikes house. She moved swiftly and without worry, like she had been doing it all her life. When she reached the window she was pleased to find it open and seemingly waiting for her. As she slipped through she felt a tingly feeling course though her and it only got stronger when she saw the target of her conquest, sitting there at the computer.

He was wearing black sweat pants and nothing else. His hair was all messy and not slicked back like usual, and a pair of sleek glasses made him look that much more sexy. Buffy wouldn't mind having a tutor that looked like that. She wanted to jump his bones right then and there.

"Hi," Buffy said, startling him a little.

He jumped slightly as he turned in her direction. "Buffy..." was all he could say. His eyes noticeable glazed over with lust as he looked her up and down. She was barely covered in a blood red silky halter top with a black mini skirt. Her hair was clipped up and she wore dark eye makeup and lipstick. Her tiny slip-on heels made her already toned legs look amazing. Spike wanted to grab her by the ass, lift her and put her up against the wall and devour her.

He finally took a chance to blink and clear his throat. "You're all dressed up."

"I want to go to the Bronze," she said taking a few steps toward him. "And you're coming with me."

Spike didn't even think about what his plans for the night had been or about school tomorrow. He didn't think about his uncle catching him or Buffy's mom catching her. He grabbed his clothes and quickly threw them on, splashing a tiny bit of cologne on himself in the process.

They were both in such a lust-filled trance that they never even said a word as they walked downstairs and right out the front door. Neither one of them cared if anyone heard the car start and barrel down the street. Buffy looked down at his hand that had been resting on the console between them. Carefully she slipped her fingers between his and watched his face as he looked at her and tightened his hand.

They still didn't speak a single word as they parked the car and waltzed in like they owned the place. Yet they never took their eyes off each other. The music was slow and sexy, only fuelling their unspoken lust for one another.

Spike finally worked up enough to put his sneer/smirk on his lips as he whirled Buffy around so that her back was against him. She trembled as his hands moved up and down her sides and hips as they moved together to the music. They were surrounded by people but felt as if they were the only ones in the world.

Buffy had never been more excited to be the submissive one. The way he suddenly took charge and touched her anyway he wanted to touch her, it made her want so much more.

If he can do this much to me while only dancing I wonder what he can do in other ways...

Her hips swayed seductively to the music, effectively rubbing her ass all across his groin. She was a tease, she knew it, Spike knew it, but he loved it none the less.

He couldn't believe she was letting him do this to her. He saw the way she and the poof had danced, and he was going to prove how much better he was. He brought one hand up and placed it on her chest between her breasts. She arched backward and rested her head on his shoulder with her head turned so that her lips were almost touching his neck. Spike slid his hand down her abdomen to her leg, slightly brushing his fingertips up under her skirt.

Together they danced in silence yet at the same time they were saying so much to one another... neither one of them wanted to stop. As the music continued they drifted off into a world completely their own.

x X x X x

The car ride home was silent and awkward. Both of them just looked strait forward onto the road. What was happening between them? Buffy couldn't even comprehend it. All she knew was how badly she wanted him, but Riley still had her heart. How was it possible that she could want one person so badly, but love a completely different person?

When Spike pulled up to the curb in front of her house Buffy unbuckled herself but didn't move to get out of the car. Spike turned off the engine and just took a deep breath.

"Do you know what time it is?" Buffy meekly asked.

"Um," Spike flipped open his cell phone and looked at the time. "It's nearly four thirty," he said as he looked down at her. He was so confused. She'd been just about to kiss him earlier in the day, she showed up at his house acting like a minx and looking like sex itself, and now she wouldn't even look at him. "Buffy..."

She finally looked up at him. He could see she was as confused as he was.

"Did I do something to upset you?" he asked carefully.

Her eyes got wide. "No, no. I'm just..." she sighed. "I'm a little ashamed of myself. I-I acted like..."

She's ashamed of going out with me...

"I thought you were amazing," he said cutting her off.

Buffy looked down and tried to hide her smile as she blushed. "I've never just, had the urge to do something so much in my life. I wanted... something different." She looked up at him again, eyes blazing. Spike was a bit taken back. "I want..."

Buffy cut herself off as she climbed over the center console onto Spikes lap.

Oh my god, what the fuck am I doing?...

She held his face as she dove down into a kiss with such passion and need. Spike didn't know what to do. His hands hovered for a second before they went down to her hips and he held her so tightly. He really really didn't want her to go away.

Buffy mewled and Spike groaned as they gripped at each other. Eventually they had to break apart from one another. When they did Buffy rested her forehead against his.

"God. What you do to me, Summers," Spike said as he ground his erection into her.

Buffy closed her eyes at the sensation that went through her as she pushed herself down on him. The friction they were creating was driving both of them insane. It was almost unbearable.

Spike was raspy and heated. As he looked up at her she was staring back down at him. He took a deep breath and pulled his head back.

"So what are we gonna do about this?"

TBC

CHAPTER SIX: Icecream & Kisses

Buffy lay in her bed, staring out the window. She had decided not to go to school after her little midnight get-away with Spike. Part of her had hoped she had dreamt the whole thing, but that burning feeling in the pit of her stomach was telling her otherwise.

I kissed Spike. I kissed him. He didn't kiss me, I kissed him. I went over there, practically seduced him, then kissed him. And I'm the one with a boyfriend! Ugh. I guess technically, I, Buffy Anne Summers cheated on my boyfriend... with Spike. Riley and I have been together for almost two years now... so why don't I feel bad?

Sure, she felt a little guilty, but mostly she felt that fluttery excitement in her stomach that one gets when one has a new crush.

I have a crush on Spike...

A small awkward smile made its way to Buffy's lips as she rolled over with a stretch and greeted the sun beaming through her window.



Meanwhile, Spike was getting up to draw his curtains closed. The sunlight was keeping him awake and it was already bad enough he hadn't slept a wink all bloody night.

She just wouldn't let him sleep.

Spike thought he had wanted her before, but now, after he'd had a taste, he really wanted all of her. Her scent, the way her skin felt under his hands, the way her voice sounded when she said his name...

Damn right he bloody wanted her.

Spike sighed as he laid back down in his bed and tried to fall asleep. He knew it would be impossible though, because as soon as he closed his eyes, all he could see was her.


x X x X x X x


Buffy kept her eyes closed as she wrung the hot water out of her hair and bent over to turn the shower off. She had been thinking about him all day and at this point she was so tired of thinking about him that she was ready to do anything in order to keep him from clouding her thoughts anymore. All it was doing was making her want him that much more.

She inhaled a deep breath as she brought the shower curtain back and stepped out onto the cold tile floor. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, wiping the steam off the bathroom mirror as she did so.

As she looked at herself in the mirror she felt different. Of course, she had always been light, pretty, perky, preppy Buffy. Miss teen Sunnydale. But as she looked at herself in the mirror she didn't want to be all that. She wanted to be dark, a dark goddess like Dru was to him at one point. She wanted him to want her as much as she wanted him. She wanted to be the kind of sexy dark that her Spike was.

Her Spike.

No, not her Spike, but the Spike she was undoubtedly attracted to.

Buffy headed back into her room and rummaged through her drawers to find something to wear, though she wondered to herself why she even bothered seeing as it was already going on six in the evening.

Just as she slipped into her underwear the phone began to ring. Buffy inwardly groaned. Her mother had called and called all day checking up on her and it was really starting to get irritating.

As she neared the phone she prepared herself with her groggy fake-sick voice and carefully picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Buffy..."

She was surprised that it wasn't her mother on the other end of the line.

"Riley," she said with a slight sound of relief in her voice. She hadn't spoken to him yet today, maybe all she needed to get her mind off of Spike was her boyfriend. "Hi."

"You weren't in school today... You seemed alright yesterday when I saw you. What's wrong?"

"Oh, uh..." Flashes of last nights events were playing out in Buffy's memory. "I-um... I just woke up groggy. Didn't feel good."

"Why didn't you call me and tell me? I came to pick you up this morning and your mom had to send me away."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I slept most of the day, Riley. I was pretty out of it."

"I see," he said with obvious frustration.

"You know, I could use some company over here. Mom's been gone all day and it's a little lonely over here," she said with her cutest come-over-here-and-you'll-get-good-surprises voice. She honestly figured the best way to get this Spike thing out of her system would be to have her good wholesome boyfriend over to remind her why she was with him.

"I don't think so, Buffy."

"What?" she said completely surprised.

"I don't want to be around you if you're sick," he said matter of factly.

Buffy was shocked. "But I'm..."

"Look, I'm sorry Buffy. Maybe tomorrow but you know I can't afford to get sick. Baseball season starts up soon."

Buffy just stood there in silence. Baseball was more important than her. "But I would feel so much better if I could see you..."

"Buffy," he sighed. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine," she said shaking her head.

"Actually," he started again. Buffy's heart leapt. Was he going to come over? "Call me in the morning and let me know if you're still sick. I don't want to make the trip out to your house if I don't have to."

Buffy's mouth literally dropped open in disbelief.

"Riley!" she started but was cut off again before she could finish.

"Call me tomorrow. Bye babe," and before she could even protest he hung up.

As she heard the click on the other end of the line her face twisted in disgust and she slammed the phone down into the base. She shook her head and willed herself not to get teary-eyed. She took another deep breath and whispered quietly to herself.

"You're only making this easier for me..."


x X x X x X x


"She kissed you?!?!?!" the brunette boy exclaimed.

"This doesn't get out to anybody, you hear? She'd kill me, won't be too happy when she finds out that you two know as it is," Spike said as she pointed a finger at both the red head and Xander sitting before him.

"W-well of course," Willow stuttered. "No one would believe us anyway."

"And you're pretty much the only person we talk to," Xander added.

Spike put his finger down and relaxed a little. "True..."

When Willow and Xander had showed up to Spike's house with the homework he missed they could sense something was going on. It didn't take long before he spilled the beans about everything that had been going on.

He needed to tell someone. It was too confusing and surprising to keep all to himself.

"S-so what are you gonna do?" Willow asked.

"I don't know," Spike said falling back on his bed, covering his face with his hands.

"Well you like her right?" Xander asked. "Keep schmoozing her. Maybe you'll get her to break down the walls between loser-dome and popular castle."

Spike shot up and looked him strait in the eye. "Oi! I'm not a loser."

Xander immediately put his hands up in defense. "Whoa, calm down sparky. I'm just saying, this is the first time anyone, let alone Buffy Summers, has ever even associated with someone outside of their precious popular circle. And the way you tell it, she's been doing more than just chatting."

Spike thought to himself for a minute. It was pretty big news. And there wasn't anything telling him to turn and run from any of it. I mean, sure it was only one night of dancing and one little kiss, but that was more than anyone else had gotten, aside from her boyfriend. And he bloody well wasn't going to brush all of it off as a glitch. "I want her," he said quietly. "More than anyone I've ever met."

Willow and Xander both gave him soft smiles of understanding, and all three in the room were startled when they heard the window behind them open.

When Buffy's head peeked into the room and she looked up to see her audience she froze. "Oh," she said. "This isn't my house?"

Spike chuckled as she stood and walked over to her, helping her the rest of the way inside. "No worries, luv. Your secrets already safe." Spike was playing so calm and cool but inside he was jumping up and down. Even after all the awkwardness she was still coming to him.

Buffy surveyed the room as she brushed herself off and smoothed her clothes.

Xander looked away nervously when Buffy looked at him. Willow stood and faced her, looking slightly nervous but still with enough confidence to walk up to her.

"We know about your, uh, friendship with Spike, and we want you to know we're not going to tell anyone. We wouldn't do that to you."

Buffy was surprised yet comforted by the red heads bravery.

"Thank you," she said with a hint of a smile forming on her lips.

Things were quiet and a tad awkward for a few moments until Willow finally spoke up again. "Well, we're gonna get going. School tomorrow," she said helping Xander up from his spot on Spikes bedroom floor. "We'll let ourselves out," she said. "See you tomorrow." In seconds they were gone, leaving Buffy and Spike alone once more.

"So, you didn't go to school today either, huh?" she asked trying desperately to decrease the amount of tension in the room.

"Um, no," Spike said as he sat down in his desk chair. "Wasn't quite all together today, if you know what I mean..."

"Yeah," Buffy said as she walked over and sat at the end of his bed, lightly placing her hands on her knees.

It grew quiet again.

"Where's your hunnie pot?" Spike asked. "Figured he would come runnin' if he thought you were sick."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Actually he did the exact opposite. Figured I would infect him or something. He didn't even ask if I was feeling better or if I wanted anything..."

Spike grew surprisingly angry at the thought of that poof pushing her away when she needed someone. Instead of trying to make her feel better.

"Bloody poofter..."

Buffy lifted her head a little but looked right back down again when she saw that he was looking at her intently.

A good ten minutes passed with not a word said. Buffy was cursing herself for even coming over here. He wasn't interested in her or her problems. Last night had just been... a weird night, he understood that. Nothing more would come of it,

"S-so, do you wanna hang out?" Buffy finally asked.

"I haven't kicked you out, have I?" Spike said with a smirk.

She wants to stay she wants to stay...

Buffy smiled back at him and things were beginning to feel a little more normal again. "Oh, can we order pizza? And I could go get the ice cream we never ate last week..."

Spike chucked. "Sure. You go get the ice cream. I'll order us up some pizza and buffalo wings."

"Kay," Buffy said as she bounded toward the window.

"Um, Buffy..." Spike said in a deep sexy voice that made Buffy shiver, especially when he used her first name.

"Hmm?"

"Ol' Rupes isn't home if you just want to use the front door."

"Oh... right," she said as she walked past him and down the stairs.

As she passed him Spike closed his eyes and inhaled. She smelled wonderful. Not to mention she was only wearing tight little shorts and a tank top again.

This was going to be a long night.


x X x X x X x


Spike was laying back on his bed with a pillow over his face, trying his hardest to block out the sounds of perky pom pom music and cheers coming from the television.

Bloody cheerleaders...

"Oh Micky you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Micky!" Buffy sang along with the tape.

Spike groaned.

When she heard noises coming from Spike she turned and looked at him and a pout fell onto her face.

"Spike, you're not watching the movie..."

"Yeah? So?" came his muffled response.

"It's not fun if you don't watch it too," she whined as she crawled up next to him. When he didn’t say anything else Buffy began to sing again, this time right into his exposed ear.

"Oh Willy you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Willy!"

Spike shot up at that. "Oi! Don't call me that! Are you off you gob?"

"Now that didn't even make sense," she said crossing her arms and looking at him pointedly.

"You are an infuriating little girl..."

"What can I say? I have my talents," she said with a smile and a shrug.

Spike smirked and looked down at her mouth. "I'm sure you do..."

Buffy's eyes went wide and she reached over and smacked him. "You wish..."

Spike chuckled and fell back against his pillow again. "You have no idea, luv."

Buffy blushed. He was flirting. He was making her want to flirt. "So," she said trying to change the subject. "Ice cream?"

"Yeh," Spike sighed. "Bring up that one that tastes like cake mix or what not."

"Cake Batter?" she asked as she left the room and scurried down to the kitchen. When she got down there she grabbed the small pint out of the freezer and started looking around for a couple of spoons. "Spike!" she yelled. "Where are your spoons?"

"In the drawer to the left of the dishwasher!" he yelled back down.

Buffy moved her way over to the drawer and started to take two spoons out but paused and thought for a moment. She knew she was going to regret it later on, but she closed the drawer with only one spoon in hand.

Spike visibly perked up when she came back into the room.

"Um, there was only one spoon left, so we're gonna have to share," she said taking her seat next to him on the bed.

Spikes heart leapt a little, along with something else...

Buffy dug the spoon down into the creamy substance and pulled out a good sized scoop.

"You want the first bite?" she asked sticking the spoon in his direction.

"No thanks, luv. You take it. Ladies first and all."

Buffy smiled and stuck the end of the spoon into her mouth, smiling even more at the taste of the stuff. "Mmm..."

Spike loved watching her. She was such a cute adorable thing. The littlest things like a spoonful of ice cream making her smile.

How the fuck could anyone want to cheat on this girl?

As she opened her eyes and looked at Spike he felt a wave of nervousness go through him. Something in the way she looked at him was different.

"Taste," she said handing him a spoonful.

Buffy didn't know what happened. One second she was just eating ice cream, the next she felt like she was seducing him again.

As Spike took the spoonful into his mouth a small but dripped down the side of his mouth.

"Oops," Buffy said with a smirk as she pulled the now empty spoon from his mouth.

Spike lifted his hand to wipe it away but before he could get to it Buffy leaned in and slowly poked out her tongue and began to lick up his chin to the side of his mouth.

Spike closed his eyes at the contact, her hot juicy pink tongue was millimeters away from his own. It was driving him insane.

When Buffy pulled away and began to lick her lips Spike let loose and dove after her.

His hands latched on to her upper arms and his mouth attacked hers. She dropped the ice cream and the spoon and put her hands on his face. Their kiss was feverish and passionate, full of need and want, and Buffy was sure at that moment she had never been kissed that good in all her life.

"Mmm," she moaned into his mouth as his body pinned hers to the bed. Spike made a sound that resembled a growl as he ground his erection into her thigh.

The sensations he was causing through clothes was making her drunk with lust, and she was curious to know how good he could make her feel if she actually let him fuck her.

Finally they broke apart, gasping for air but both were clawing at each other making sure neither was going anywhere.

Just as Spike dipped his head to kiss her again they heard the front door slam.

"Spike?" his uncle yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"Bullocks," Spike said quietly to himself as he slumped a little.

Buffy seemed to almost snap back to reality, blushing wildly. "You know, I gotta go," she said pulling out from underneath him. "I-It's probably a good thing this didn't go farther than it already did," she said sticking one leg out the window.

"Buffy..."

"Sorry about the mess," she said, and just like that, she was gone.

Spike stood at the end of his bed, completely dumbfounded. How did this happen again?

"Spike? Are you home?" Rupert yelled again.

"Uh, yeh! 'M "ere..." he yelled back as he turned to go downstairs.

As Buffy got back into her house and closed the door behind her she carefully touched her fingers to her lips. What had she been thinking? All day she was looking for ways to get him out of her head and so her solution was to go see him?

What the fuck is wrong with me...

She shook her head to herself as she climbed the stairs up to her bedroom where she just wanted to stay forever. This thing with Spike couldn't keep happening. She couldn't do that to Riley. It wasn't fair. She refused to be a cheater.

As she got into her room she immediately went over to her windows and closed the curtains so she wouldn't have to look over at his window. She needed him gone.

She flopped onto her bed and buried her face in a pillow, willing her lust and attraction for the man across the street, to just go away.



As Spike said goodnight to his uncle and continued to try and salvage what was left of the ice cream he tossed the leftover pizza and wings and got rid of any garbage in his room. No matter how much he tried, all of this thoughts revolved around Buffy. How could they not after something like this happened.

Before he left the kitchen he decided he liked this little thing he had with Buffy and a cocky smile crept its way onto his lips. He'd find a way to get her to leave the poof.

Before heading back upstairs he decided to humor himself, and he pulled open the silverware drawer.

All the spoons were there.

Little minx.

TBC

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Declaration

The next day Buffy remained quiet at her lunch table while Cordy, Riley, and Angel did their usual insulting of everyone not-them. Occasionally she would find herself glancing over at Spikes table, then scolding herself for doing so. He had been haunting her mind all day. Everything that she felt last night was still fluttering through her, tempting her for more.

"Uh, hello... Earth to Buffy..." Cordy said with an 'ugh' attatched at the end. "What is with you lately? You're like, posessed or something."

Riley looked over at her with a semi-concerned look on his face. "You okay? You're awful quiet."

Buffy forced a small smile but found it hard to look him in the eye. "I'm really tired. Haven't been sleeping well lately."

Cordelia rolled her eyes and waved her off before turning to Angel to start up a new conversation.

Riley bent down a tad to whisper in Buffy's ear. "Want me to come over and uh, tire you out later?" he asked with a stupid grin attatched to his face.

Buffy cast him a little glance but found his offer less than appealing. "Actually I think I'm supposed to have movie night with mom tonight. That should be boring enough to put me to sleep right away."

Lies. I'm a liar.

Riley looked a little dissapointed but seemed to buy it.

Just then Buffy looked up to see Spike staring at her with a smug smirk on his face before Willow knowingly slapped his arm, breaking the eye contact. But it was too late, the feelings that coursed through her at the eye contact alone was enough to wig Buffy out comepletely.

"You know, I think I'm actually gonna cut out early. Maybe catch a nap before mom gets home," she said as she got up and started gathering her things. "I'm just not feeling right today."

Riley nodded. "I'll call you when I get out, see how you're doing."

Of course you couldn't be bothered to, oh, I don't know, offer me a ride?

"Sure."

She was gone before he could say another word. She was flying between the double doors of the cafeteria as Spike looked up from his lunch plate again. He cleared his throat an subtly announced he needed to use the bathroom and got up to go after her.

Buffy was hustling down the hallway trying to calm herself down when she heard him call her name.

"Buffy!"

She stopped and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath and cursed herself for loving the way his voice rumbled when he said her name.

"Buffy..." he said a little more quietly as he approached her in the empty hallway.

"What?" she said in a tone that was a little more harsh than she was intending it to be.

"What's wrong, where you goin'?" he asked as he stopped beside her.

"I-..." she sighed. "I'm tired, okay? I just wanna go home."

"Oh, and uh, why's that, luv," he said with a smirk. He tilted his head. "Somethin' keep you up all night?"

Buffy whirled around to face him, obviously aggrivated at this point.

"What do you want?" she said with gritted teeth.

Spike was a bit taken back, obviously not realizing how upset she really was. His smirk faded. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, Spike. I am tired because I was up all night on the phone with my boyfriend WHO I love, by the way. So why don't you stop asking me stupid questions and stop finding ways to see me! I am done with you!"

The look on his face let her know that she had royally pissed him off. His jaw clenched and his muscles twitched. His cool blue eyes shifted and became dark.

"Fine," he ground out. "I'm sure now everyone would just love to know how all holy Buffy Summers just loves to sneak around with losers like me. Oh and what dirty little secrets Captain Cardboard over there would love to know about you..."

Tears welled up in her blazing green eyes. "If you tell ANYONE, I will destroy you."

Spike didn't know what else to say. He had followed her out of the cafeteria to have a laugh with her about the previous night. Instead they wound up threatening each other.

Without another word Buffy spun back around and stormed off, wiping her eyes dry as she did so. She told herself she wasn't going to cry over him. He wasn't anything special to her. He was just a little fling... wasn't he?

As he watched her walk out into the courtyard Spike felt a pang go through him. He hadn't wanted things to go like this. He cursed himself for being such a ponce and slowly made his way back to the cafeteria.


x X x X x X x


Buffy spent her entire walk home fighting back tears. She was so confused about everything she was feeling. She'd been with Riley for a few years now and everything was fine and dandy until he showed up. He had to go be all sexy and english.

And different.

He was different from all of her other friends and she found it so refreshing. Everyone she associated with was conceited and stuck-up. Spike had done nothing but make her feel more alive again.

Ugh, but why does it bother me? He's just a guy. I'm Buffy Summers. Everyone loves me, I don't need him to. I've got my big studly boyfriend and my popular friends. I don't need to be all buddy buddy with the sexy bleach-blonde across the street... no matter how much better I feel around him.

Her attempts to make herself feel better were only making her feel worse. It was no secret that she liked him. Well, it was, but not to him. He had this thing about him that made her open up around him, get her out of the role of the snobby high school popularity queen and into a shy giddy girl with a crush. And to be honest, she liked that part of her more.

With a sigh Buffy walked up her front porch and stuck the key into the lock, turning it until she heard the click and happily stepped into her quiet empty home. She didn't waste a minute going up to her bedroom to relax. When she pushed open the door to her room she toed off her shoes and began to take her jean jacket off and went strait to the side of her bed to lay down.

"Buffy..."

The deep rumbling and all too familiar voice that came from behind her startled her to the point of a scream. She spun around and held her hand to her chest to calm herself as she stared at the invader in her house.

"What the FUCK are you doing?!?" she screamed at the very blonde object of her thoughts.

"I-..." he hesitated for a moment, not quite expecting her to react the way she did. "I didn't mean to scare you..."

"Well you DID! What did you expect?!? Here I am thinking the house is empty and all of a sudden theres a guy creeping in the corner of my room..."

"I'm sorr-"

"How did you get in here? And WHY are you here?"

"The front door was locked so I came in your bedroom window! I don't want you to be mad at me, Buffy!" he yelled. "I came here to tell you that you can trust me. I'm not gonna sodden tell anyone what happened between us, and I won't bring it up anymore if you don't want me to."

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"But, Buffy," he started as he took a step toward her. "I like you. I like you a lot and I know you probobly don't want to hear it. But..."

She could tell he was struggling to find his words.

"My girlfriend of four and a half years dumped me, and I was more in love with her than anything in my entire life. But, it's like I don't even care because all I keep thinking about it you. You're all I've bloody thought about since the minute I met you."

Buffy didn't know what to say back. She knew he was expecting some kind of reaction or response, and that he was really hoping it would be a good one, but it was like her mind was about to crash and burn it was going so fast.

She took a deep breath.

"My reputation is all I have," she said as she looked up at him. "I was living happily as queen bitch at this high school and everyone loved and worshipped me. I have the studly boyfriend who plays on all the varsity sports teams. I have the evil best friend who will laugh with me when some loser trips or spills something on themselves. I was happy being that person. And then you came along," she sort of laughed. "A dark, punkish, anti-social british guy who shows up outta nowhere calling himself Spike and all of a sudden I'm sneaking out of my room at night, lying to my boyfriend and avoiding my friends, and inadvertantly hanging out with the very kids I used to laugh at."

Spike shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't exactly tell where this was going, but he was pretty sure it was all going to lead up to the 'I like you but we can't see each other anymore' speech. What he wasn't expecting was what she began to say next.

"I do really really like you. And it's no secret that I do want you, but, I can't leave Riley. And I know you don't want to hear it but I've been with him for so long, I'm not ready for that part of my life to be over."

She was waiting for some kind of reaction from him. She honestly thought he'd get angry and leave and she'd never ever see him again. He probobly did the exact opposite of what she was expecting.

He smirked and looked down on her. "So, you're not willing to leave Captain Cardboard... but, you're not willing to lose me either? Is that what you're saying?"

Buffy shyly looked away and bit her lip, afraid to look him in the eye. Instead she meerly nodded and concentrated on a very interesting piece of lint on the floor.

"I bet I can get you to change you're mind."

Her head shot up and she looked at him with the most confused look on her face. But with all her might she couldn't hide the tiny smile that formed on her lips at the thought of what he might be insinuating. "Wh-what do you mean?"

He curled his tongue up over his teeth and slowly stepped toward where she was standing. "I bet I can make you fall for me so hard, you're not gonna know what hit you," he said with a flash of a sexy smile.

Buffy's knees we're going weak at the sight of him walking toward her like that, but she tried her best to keep her composure and look as if she didn't notice a thing. "Oh yeah?" she asked with a gulp. "And just how exactly are you gonna do that?"

For a second she thought about taking the question back and telling him not to answer it, but he moved too fast for her to speak again. He swooped her up and pinned her up against the wall with the most breathtaking kiss she's ever gotten in her whole life.

His tongue darted between her lips and explored her whole mouth in a matter of seconds. He was making her so dizzy that she grabbed hold of his shoulders to steady herself, allowing him to press the length of his body against hers. When they broke apart she could barely hold herself up. Her knees had gone so weak that he had to actually sit her down on the side of her bed so she wouldn't collapse. He smirked once again and leaned dangerously close to her ear.

"I have my ways. See you around, luv."

And with that he was gone. Buffy was left panting for air and lightheaded on the edge of her bed. She could barely get her mind around what had just happened. Had he really just declared that he was going to fight for her?

She knew it made her look so selfish but she found herself getting more and more excited at the thought of Spike trying to win her over and take her away from Riley. She was the very object of a battle that was going on that no one even knew about, not even the other opponent.

Buffy fell back on her bed with a smile and kicked her feet out in a happy-dance. This was going to be way too fun.

TBC

CHAPTER EIGHT: Let The Games Begin

It had been almost a week since the incident between her and Spike in her room. She hadn't seen or heard much from him since then and things with her and her friends had gone back to normal, for the most part anyway.

Buffy was sitting on her front porch having some iced tea with her mother and doing homework when suddenly a shirtless and sweaty Spike appeared before them with a sexy little smile on his face.

"Hello, William," Joyce beamed.

"Hello, Joyce," he said with a polite nod. "Buffy..." he acknowledged her with a wink.

Buffy tried her hardest to glare at him and remind him that she was taken and there was nothing he could do or say to change that, but she couldn't hide the flirty half-smile that formed on her lips. "Hey."

He got a satisfied smirk on his lips as he turned back to Joyce. "Mrs. Summers I was just wondering if you could point me toward your shed so I can get to work on the lawn for you..."

Buffy went wide-eyed and her head snapped toward her mother.

"Right around behind the garage. It shoud be all set and ready to go but if it's low on gas let me know before I leave," she said with a nod and a grateful smile.

He smiled back and headed around the side of the house.

"Mom!" Buffy scolded her mother once the bleach blonde was out of sight. "What are you doing? Why's he mowing the lawn?"

"He offered. And you never do it for me so I'm paying him to do it."

Buffy stuck her bottom lip out. "I would do it if you paid me!"

"Too late," she chuckled. "Now I gotta get going. Make sure William has something cold to drink while he's working. It's hot out here."

"Okay," she said in a pouty tone as her mother kissed her on the forehead and went inside the house.

Why! Why is it that when I think I can finally go back to my normal, hassle-free existance he has to stroll over here with his sexy body and sexy smirks and be all manly and do our yard work for us? Can't he just be ugly and fat and stay over in his own yard?

Like clockwork Spike came around the side of the house and roared up the lawnmower. It was as if he was trying to drive her nuts. Walking back and forth across her front lawn, the sun beaming down on him making beads of sweat shimmer as they traveled down his sculptured pecs and abs.

Buffy subconciously licked her lips as she sat there drinking him in like a tall, cool glass of yummy Spike-ness.

I wish I was that sweat rolling down his body...

She watched as he lifted one arm up to wipe the sweat off of his forehead and Buffy suddenly remembered her mother telling her to offer him something cool to drink. She threw her notebooks on the floor of the porch and ran into the house. In the kitchen she took a big glass and stuffed it with ice and poured some nice cool iced tea over top of it.

Just as she came back out he was finishing up and when he saw her standing there waiting for him he let it go and shut down.

She's doing it. She's catering to me. I may actually be able to pull this off...

"Here, you look all... hot," she said handing him the glass with a seductive smile on her lips.

You are such a tramp, Buffy. Think about your actual boyfriend!

"Why thank you m'lady," he said as he took the glass from her with a wink.

She fell into a trance as she watched him chug the cool liquid. She watched as his adams apple bobbed with every swallow, the way it did when he would talk in his deep sexy voice.

Holy shit... could he get any sexier? I just wanna step up to him and nibble on his ears and lick his skin off...

"Are you doing anything later?" she asked without even realizing it.

Spike smirked once again with a somewhat triumphant glee as he finished off his drink and set the glass down on the ledge beside them.

"You don't already have plans with the great poof tonight?"

Buffy blinked a couple times rapidly. "He's not a poof. He's just... he is great," she said with a pointed look. "But no, no plans. I just..." she trailed off staring at his chest again. "Don't wanna be alone tonight. I'm tired of being alone."

"You wanna order some take-out? Red and Xander are coming over to watch a movie if you want to join."

Buffy thought about it. She did want to, but to have Willow and Xander there? It was a little risky. Someone could find out or one of them might accidentally blab on her. Not that anyone would believe them, though..."

"Um..." she couldn't decide. It might actually be good to have other people around. That way he couldn't seduce her into kissing him again. It could be purely hang-out time. "Okay. Yeah I could do that."

Spike smiled in response. "Good. It'll be fun. Plus you could maybe get to know them a little. They don't exactly have a lot of friends."

Buffy forced a fake smile.

Yeah, and most of that is because of me and Cordy...

"C'mon Summers, they're not that bad."

"I've spent four years ignoring them and laughing along when Cordelia would rip them apart in front of the whole school. Don't you think they might hold a grudge?"

"They-"

"Oh my god! That's Riley's truck! You gotta go!" Buffy said in a panic as Rileys truck got closer and closer.

Spike scoffed. "Bullocks. I was 'ere, doin' work for your mum. If he's got a problem with it he can take it up with her," he said turning to face the driveway and greet the great poof himself.

As Riley pulled in and turned off the engine he eyed up the shirtless man standing outside of his girlfriends house. He recognized him as the same guy Buffy had been walking with that day in school.

"Am I gonna need to physically convince you to stop stalking my girl?" he said angrily as he slammed his door shut.

"Riley, he's not-"

"Not stalking, mate. Just talking. Something you might wanna try sometime, as opposed to just mauling and groping."

"Spike..." Buffy scolded.

"Buffy, what the fuck is he doing here?"

"He's-"

"Her mum asked me if I could help mow the lawn. Something I'm sure you never offered to do for her."

He was right... he hadn't.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Riley snarled as he took another step forward.

"Okay that is enough," Buffy finally yelled, stepping between the two of them. "You!" she yelled at Spike. "I will get the money from my mother and pay you later. Now go!"

Spike looked at her, a bit surprised at the way she was stepping in, but gave Riley one last nasty look before he stalked back across the street.

"And you!" she yelled turning her attention to Riley. "You need to stop! You need to stop trying to beat up every person I talk to!"

"He's stalking you, Buffy..."

"No! He's not! He talked to me in school ONCE, and he was here today because my mom asked him to be here. So CHILL!"

Riley stood there looking a little like a kicked puppy. "You are MY girlfriend. You are MY property."

"Riley, I am not property. I am a person. And maybe I wouldn't mind you calling me that, but you're constantly running off to be with other people, other GIRLS."

He started to shift uncomfortably. "N-no I don't."

"Yeah. You do, Riley. And it needs to stop."

"Buffy, I'm not gonna stop caring about who you talk to."

"I'm not asking you to stop caring. I'm just asking you to find a different way to show that you care."

She didn't quite know why she was flat out defending Spike. Surely Riley would notice something going on between the two of them if arguments like this kept occurring. He already noticed that she hadn't just brushed him off as a nobody like she would with anyone else. It is possible that he might actually figure this little fling out?

"You know what? Let's just drop it, okay?" Riley said raising his hands. He was clearly frustrated at this point and didn't care to be bothered by it anymore.

"Fine," Buffy said with a sigh. Maybe he wouldn't figure it out. "Let's go inside."

Riley nodded and followed her up the porch steps and into the house, looking back over his shoulder at the man storming into his own house across the street.

A red flag went up in Rileys mind. He already decided... this guy was going down.


x X x X x X x


Buffy had never been more happy for Riley to be leaving. He'd been stubborn and an ass ever since the incident in the front yard. She felt bad about the way she'd sent Spike away, but at the same time she felt like she was saving him from a possible ass-kicking. She was trying to protect him... and herself. That was surely how he'd seen it. As an attempt for her to save her own ass, no matter what it took, and right now that was the furthest from the truth.

She wasn't sure her invite was even open anymore, but she had to let him know she was sorry anyway.

Seeing that it was going to be a movie night she decided to dress more comfortably. With a pair of her yummy sushi pajama pants on and a little pink tank top and her hair up in a messy bun she grabbed herself a little sweater to wear and a box of something and bounded down the stairs.

"Hey mom..." she said peering into the dining room. "Mom I'm going across the street to hang and watch a movie. Do you wanna give me the money to pay Spike?"

"Oh, of course," she said getting up from her seat in front of the laptop and searching through her purse. "I can't believe you let him go home without paying him."

"Mom I was saving him from Rileys temper. I didn't want him to get hurt."

"You know," Joyce said as she shuffled through her wallet. "Riley needs to learn how to share, and interact with other people civilly. He's becoming awful pushy."

"I know mom. Look, can I just go? I'm already late..."

Joyce smiled as she handed Buffy a ten dollar bill. "I'm glad you're hanging out with some other people. Those kids you're with in school are really snobby."

Buffy blushed a little. "If any of them call tell them I'm in the shower or grounded or something," she said as she grabbed a few things and headed out the door.

Joyce just shook her head and smiled, glad her daughter was finally opening up to some nicer people.

Meanwhile Buffy scurried across the street as quickly as possible. She was nervous. More nervous about being in close quarters with Spike than with being Xander and Willow. Everytime she was around Spike flashes of their more intimate moments together would flash through her mind. The night they got to know each other in the pool, the night at the Bronze, their first kiss, those looks he gave her that made her knees go weak...

Buffy hadn't even realized she was standing by his front door already. She cleared her throat and pushed the little doorbell button.

Good goin', Buf. You made yourself even more nervous. Why are you even here? Didn't you tell him you weren't gonna leave your boyfriend? Yeah, so what are you doing? You know what he's trying to get you to do so why would you make it easier for him?

Just then he answered the door and gave her a smile that would melt... some... un-melty thing.

Oh yeah, that's why. 'Cause he's the fucking sexiest thing you've ever seen. And he wants you.

"Hello, cutie," he said in that wonderfully deep and rumbly voice of his.

Buffy just stared at him, still partially in her trance. "Hum-noo?"

He chuckled. "What was that, luv?"

"Um," she shook herself to wake herself up. "I brought you a peace offering, for earlier," she said holding up the box which was now visibly a box of hot chocolate packets.

"You steal my heart, Summers," he chuckled again as he welcomed her into the house. "Xander's on his way but Wil's here. Go on up, I'm gonna grab a few things."

"Okay. Oh! Um, here. This is for earlier," she said holding out the ten dollars.

Spike looked at it and smiled. "Give it back to your mum. I can't take money from the Summers women."

"Spike... take it!" she said trying to force it on him.

"No," he said backing away from her. "Sides, I didn't even do all that she asked me. I still have to do the back."

Buffy let her arm slump down to her side as she smiled in defeat.

Riley would have been all over my mother until he got that ten dollars, even if he hadn't done the work yet.

"You're sweet."

"Oi! Take that back!"

Buffy laughed. "Why?"

"Because. I'm a bad, rude man," he said with a smirk. "Now go upstairs while I get you your drink and snacks."

She smiled and shook her head as she bounded up the stairs and into his bedroom where she found Willow sitting at the computer.

"Hi!" Buffy said with a bit of pep.

Willow was startled, obviously not realizing Buffy was there. "Oh, uh, hi!" she said looking at her with wide eyes and a wary smile.

Buffy looked at the computer screen, noticing she had been looking at formal dresses and gowns. "Ooh, dressies."

Willow looked confused as Buffy came over next to her and sat down. A feeling of fear washed over her for a second as she half expected Buffy to start mocking her but that feeling quickly faded when Buffy striked up a civilized conversation by asking if she was going to the Spring Formal.

"Uh, well, I want to go. And Xander said we could go together but I can't afford to buy a dress for the formal and save up for a dress for prom."

Buffy felt sad for Willow. She had always gotten money from her dad to buy whatever she needed for these things. It hadn't even crossed her mind about what it would feel like to only have one or the other.

"So you're not going?" Buffy asked.

"Um, why are you, I mean, not that I mind... but," Willow sighed. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Buffy was embarassed. She'd never thought she would be but she was embarassed to have someone be so shocked that she would talk to them. She never wanted to be that person.

"Willow, I'm sorry. For anything I may have said or not said to you in the past. I know I haven't been a very nice person to, well, anybody for that matter, but I'm trying to be better. It's an adjustment, but I'm trying."

Willow seemed to relax a bit and after a moment or two she gave Buffy a warm smile.

Just then Spike and Xander walked into the room with arms full of snacks and movies. Buffy and Willow shared one more warm smile to one another before getting up to grab things out of the guys' hands.

As Buffy and Spikes fingers brushed against each other a shiver went through her. It was like electricity. When she looked up at him and their eyes met she shivered again.

"Are you cold, luv?" he asked quietly with a smirk.

"No," she said meekly. "I'm just fine."

"You keep tellin' yourself that, kitten," he said with a wink.

Buffy took a bag of chips from him and walked over and took a seat next to Willow on the bed.

Once Xander put everything down on the table he picked up the phone and looked around the room. "Okay so what does everyone want to eat?"


x X x X x X x


The room was quiet except for Xander making comments about the movie every other minute. Little white cartons half full of take-out were scattered around the room. Willow seemed to be entranced in the movie but Buffy was bored. The movie wasn't bad, but the sexy man sitting in the computer chair across the room was very distracting.

Every time Buffy looked up at him he was staring back. She would quickly look away, pretending like she didn't notice, but would smile and look at him again. They were flirting with their eyes and Buffy loved it.

It took all of Spikes might not to jump up and run across the room and take her right then and there on the bed. He didn't know why he didn't. He was willing to do anything and everything to get her to leave that cheating son-of-a-bitch boyfriend she had. She'd said she wasn't ready to leave him but maybe if she knew what he was really doing behind her back, then she'd leave him. But Spike couldn't tell her. He couldn't bear to be the one to cause the breaking of her heart.

Willow looked up from the movie and noticed the way Spike and Buffy were looking at each other. If you could have sex with someone just by looking at them, that's definately what they would have been doing.

"God, will you two just do it already!" Xander suddenly exclaimed.

Spike and Buffy both jumped and blushed, realizing thereafter that he was yelling at the characters in the movie, and not them.

Stop looking at him! You're supposed to be rooting for your boyfriend, not the sexy neighbor!

When Spike looked away Willow smiled and nudged Buffy with her elbow. When Buffy looked at her she silently laughed and buried her face in her pillow.

Xander finally looked up to see what all the commotion was about. "What? What's so funny?"


x X x X x X x


"We'll see you tomorrow, Spike," Willow said as she and Xander walked down the front steps. "Bye, Buffy..." she said with a smile and a small wave.

"Bye, Wils," she said smiling back.

Spike and Buffy watched as the duo walked down the street. When they were out of sight Buffy turned to Spike and tried to hide her blushing, something that was becoming a habit today.

"Well, um, thanks!" she said with a sheepish smile.

Spike knew she was going to try and escape any minute now and he knew he couldn't let her leave without getting her worked up one more time. Afterall it was still his mission to sweep her off her cute little feet.

He smirked and quickly bent down and kissed her and was very surprised to find her kissing back already, as if she had wanted it. When they broke apart Buffy had a dazed look on her face and in her eyes.

Spike smirked again, happy with himself. "Tell Captain Cardboard I said hi," he said in a whisper.

Buffy snapped out of her daze. "He- you! You need to stop doing that! I don't belong to you. You can't just go around kissing other peoples girlfriends!" she scolded him.

He chuckled. "You're adorable when you're angry."

Her eyes went wide. "I am leaving now!"

"Sweet dreams, goldilocks!"

Spike smiled to himself. This was becoming easier than he thought.

TBC

CHAPTER NINE: The Formal

Spike wasn’t exactly sure why, but when he had laid down the previous night to go to sleep he felt sadness and guilt rise up in him over his conquest for Buffy, and the more he thought about it, the harder it was to shake it. As he sat in class he thought about how he thought it would make things easier on both of them if he could just avoid telling her about Riley’s secret and getting her to like him instead, but he knew it wasn’t really right. He felt as if he was manipulating her somehow.

Why was he doing his best to attach himself to her when he knew what type of person she was and what she would do if questioned about him?

She would never allow herself to be seen with him. Her friends wouldn’t allow it.

x X x X x

That Friday in school the students in the halls were in a frenzy. Not only was the Spring Formal tonight but it also marked the beginning of a two-week spring break.

Buffy was finding it hard to get into her usual giddy mood because every time she thought about the dance she thought of Willow. The other night when she and Willow had talked for a few minutes about the dance she had felt something for the girl. Hearing that she wasn’t going to be able to go to the dance because she simply couldn’t afford it nearly broke her heart. It was the last dance before the prom, and then that was it.

Buffy closed her locker after a few moments of thinking and walked over to the water fountain where Willow was standing, presumably waiting for Xander.

“Willow, hi!” Buffy said with a smile.

“Oh, uh hi, Buffy…” she said looking around for a moment, half wondering why Buffy would approach her in public.

“Um, you know I was thinking and I have like ten dresses from dances before that I’ve only worn like once and will probably never wear again,” she started to talk like she was rambling. “My point is, I want you to come over and pick one out, so you and Xander can go to the dance tonight.”

Willows eyes lit up and for a moment she thought she had started day dreaming. “Really? Oh my gosh, are you sure?”

Buffy smiled, happy to see the redhead’s excitement. “Yeah.”

“Wow, thank you,” Willow said with a warm smile. “When should I come over?”

“You can come right over after school if you want.”

“What’s going on here?” Cordelia’s shrill voice sounded in. “Buffy why are you talking to her?” she said not even trying to hide her disgust.

Buffy’s face turned red and she immediately felt guilty because she knew Willow was standing right there yet she didn’t want to speak the truth. No matter what Willow would be the one to get the thrashing.

“Um,” Willow piped up. “Buffy was told to get help on her French homework so she was asking me. I am a big French nerd after all. I was just giving her a few quick pointers.”

Cordelia looked back and forth between the two of them and Buffy simply nodded. “Whatever,” Cordy scoffed. “Come on, Buffy, the guys are waiting.”

Cordy walked away first and Buffy gave Willow an embarrassed smile and mouthed the words ‘thank you.’

Willow smiled. “See you after school?”

“Yep.”

Willows smile grew as the two girls turned and went their separate ways down the hallway.

When Buffy approached her usual crowd of friends they all stared at her like she was the enemy.

“What?” she asked with obvious irritation.

“You really like chit-chatting with the losers these days, huh Buf?” Cordelia said with her arms crossed and a tilt of her head.

“Cordy, she’s helping me with a project. I don’t really have a choice. Why do you care so much who I’m talking to anyway?”

“It makes us look bad.”

“And it’s not just her, Buffy.” Riley chimed in. “I’ve caught you talking to that bleached freak TWICE.”

Buffy shook her head and looked down at her feet, fidgeting slightly under all of their stares.

“What is with you, Buffy? You were never like this before…”

“I told you before. I didn’t want to talk to them. Spike, he’s my neighbor. He feels the need to be friendly. And Willow, is doing a project for me! Why is that a big deal?”

They were a bit taken back by her sudden outburst.

“Chill, Buffy. We were just saying… It’s starting to look a little weird.

“Well it’s nothing, so drop it,” she said with a pointed look at Riley. He looked away with a shake of his head.

The bell rang sounding students to hurry to their afternoon classes. Angel and Cordy walked off with each other and Riley turned to Buffy.

“Look, I don’t want there to be a bunch of tension the day of the dance. So let’s just go back to normal alright?” he said as he rubbed her arms and looked into her angry eyes.


Spike was rounding the corner on his way to class when he saw Buffy. Just as his eyes settled on her Riley bent down and gave Buffy a deep kiss.

Spike clenched his jaw and had to remind himself repeatedly that the poof was her boyfriend and it took all his might not to run over to him and knock all of his teeth out. Instead he reminded himself of their situation with one another, which only succeeded in making him more upset, and he quietly slipped off to class.


Buffy wanted to puke when Riley kissed her. There was once a time when that very kiss would have made her knees go weak, but now it felt sloppy and not quite as heartfelt. It was then that her heart sank, when she realized it was because of Spike that she didn’t enjoy her boyfriends company anymore.

When the kiss broke Buffy couldn’t look at him, the guilt was too strong.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” he said as he rubbed her arms again. She simply nodded and without another word they went their separate ways down the hall.


x X x X x X x


When class let out school became a mad zone. Nearly every student scrambled to get to their lockers and dump off all of their stuff before getting ready to go to the dance tonight. Buffy hadn’t really been in a rush until she remembered Willow was going to be stopping by. She would prefer if Riley was gone by the time Willow got there, simply so she wouldn’t have to go through what she had already gone through this morning.

“Riley, come on! I need lots of time to get ready!” she whined as she tugged on Riley’s arm. When he wouldn’t stop talking to Angel she whined again. “Rileeeeeeeey…”

“Alright, alright, we’re going,” he said to Buffy. “Okay, see you later, man,” he said as he patted his friend on the back.

“It’s about time,” Buffy grumbled as they turned to walk away. “I’m barely gonna have enough time to do my hair…”

Lies…

“I’m sorry, babe but we had to clear up who was driving tonight.”

Buffy made a face as they walked through the double doors leading to the parking lot. “Riley you have a two-seater truck. Angel has to drive…”

“Well, yeah, I know. I wasn’t thinking when I asked, though.”

Uh… duh, Ry.

They hopped into the truck and made their way out of the parking lot towards Buffy’s house, and most of the ride was made in a sort of awkward silence.

“So how long are you going to be in L.A.?” Buffy asked, knowing full well that he would be there until the night before school started up again in a few weeks.

“I’ll be back the night before school starts again. Why?”

“I can’t ask when my boyfriend’s going to be back?”

“You know I do this every year…” he said looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Well you’re all going away this year. I’m the only one that’s gonna be stuck in Sunnydale for Spring Break.”

To tell the truth, Buffy couldn’t care less that her friends and boyfriend we’re gonna be gone for two whole weeks. She was actually looking forward to it. It would be a nice break from all the scrutiny.

“It’ll go by fast. Don’t worry about it.”

When they arrived Riley shut off the engine and undid his buckle.

The one time I don’t want him to stay and now he finally decides to…

“What are you doing?” she asked nervously.

“Going inside with you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“You can’t,” she said as she put a hand on him, keeping him still in his seat. “I need to start getting ready and I can’t if you’re here ‘cause you can’t see me in my stuff.”

“Buffy it’s a school dance, not a wedding,” he said trying to get out.

“But it’s no fun for me if you see me. Please? I really want it to be a surprise.”

Riley looked over Buffy’s shoulder and noticed the red headed girl walking toward Buffy’s house. “You sure you don’t want me to leave because of her?”

Buffy turned to see who he was looking at and when she saw, her face reddened a bit. “She’s only picking up a book she needs for the project. She’s not staying.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Fine, I’ll go.”

Buffy let out a breath of relief and reluctantly leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later,” she said as she hopped out of the truck.

“Yeah,” was all he said as he started the truck back up and began backing out of the driveway, leaving her standing there without a goodbye.

Buffy couldn’t hide her disappointment. She was so hurt by that little action, it took all she had not to start crying. Had Willow not been approaching she probably would have, but she managed to compose herself and turn toward her with a smile on her face.

“Hey!”

“Hi,” Willow said nervously. “You know you don’t have to do this. I-I can just go home if you want…”

“Wil, do you want to go to the dance?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

Buffy warmed her with a smile. “Then come on in.”


x X x X x X x


“Willow come out! I wanna see how it looks on you!”

Willow and Buffy had gone through all of Buffy’s old dresses and Willow picked out a green dress that had criss-cross straps on the back. The bottom half fell closely along her legs in a sleek and slimming manner and had a slit that came half-way up her thigh. Willow was a little afraid when she first looked at it, but after a little cooing on Buffy’s part she finally agreed to try it on.

Willow opened the bathroom door and stepped out, nervously smoothing the dress down her abdomen and legs. Buffy’s jaw dropped open. “Willow, you’re a babe!”

“Willow’s face flushed and she fidgeted with her hands. “You look way better.”

Buffy was wearing a pink dress that hung off the shoulder and swooped down just enough to show the bridge of her cleavage. It was tight on her abdomen but slightly puffed out around her legs. The dress shimmered slightly when she stepped into the light.

“Wil, you need to be more confident. You know how many dates you could get if you would just put yourself out there more?”

Willows eyes went wide and she began frantically shaking her head.

Buffy laughed. “Come on,” Buffy said waving her toward herself. “Let me do your hair.”

The red head shuffled over to where Buffy was standing and sat on the vanity seat on front of her. “I feel like we’re playing dress-up,” she said as Buffy began curling her hair into elegant twists.

Buffy smiled. “I kinda do too. Since I moved here years ago the only girlfriend I’ve ever had is Cordelia, and she never wants to do fun stuff like this. She always has to go to a hairdresser and no one can see her dress until she’s absolutely ready…” Buffy sighed. “She’s no fun when it comes to this stuff.”

“Do you… I mean, if, you know, you still aren’t sick of me… would you want to do this again for prom?” Willow was nervous to hear the answer. There was still almost two months before prom, and Buffy could easily get sick of her in that time. She was setting herself up for a fall.

Buffy smiled to herself as she clipped a few crystal bobby pins in her hair.

“Yeah, Wil. I would.”


x X x X x X x


When Buffy finished Willow’s hair they made sure each other looked good and then Willow made her way across the street to Spikes house.

“Red, wha-“ he looked around while holding the front door open. “What are you doin’ ‘ere… what happened to you?”

“Willow smiled and stepped inside the house, closing the door behind her. “Xander’s picking me up here.”

“Not that I mind, but why here and not at your place?” the black-clad bleached man asked.

“I was at Buffy’s,” she said with a smile, knowing this would attract his attention fast.

“Buffy helped you?” he asked with a surprised tone.

Willow nodded. “I wasn’t going to go to the dance because I couldn’t afford a dress, but before school this morning Buffy came up to me and asked me to come pick one out of her collection ‘cause she has a lot. I went over there after school and we got ready together and she did my hair and now I get to go to the dance,” she said giddily.

Spike wasn’t sure why he felt what he did, but it actually warmed his heart to hear that the Buffy he knew was willingly helping his friends out, and he couldn’t help but feel that it was partly his influence on her.

“She’s a good catch,” Willow suddenly said.

“What?”

“It’s obvious that you like each other, but the problem is, she doesn’t want to be unfaithful. She’s not that person.”

“I know, but…” he let out a sound of frustration. “She’s being cheated on. I saw him…”

Willows smile disappeared and her face grew worrisome and serious. “What? When? How long have you known this? And… are you sure?”

Spike sat down in a chair across from where she was sitting on the edge of the couch. “That night you and Harris first took me to the Bronze.”

“But that was weeks ago! What… How do you know?”

“I was walking over to the bathroom and he was in that really dark corner makin’ out with a brunette.” He shook his head. “I haven’t got the heart to tell her.”

Willow felt conflicted. That was something she should know about. But at the same time, it was really none of their business what went on in her relationship with Riley. Either way, she didn’t want to see her new friend hurt.

“I can’t be responsible for breaking her heart,” he said, still shaking his head to himself.

“Whether she finds out through you or not, it’s Riley who will be breaking her heart. Not you…”

Before Spike could get another word out there was a knock on the door. He got up and opened the door for Xander who was standing there in his suit with a small box which presumably held a corsage.

Willow decided to put the somber news in the back of her head for now, and enjoy the night Buffy had made possible for her. She stood and greeted her friend with a smile. Xander was speechless at the sight of her.

“What do you think?” she asked spinning in a circle to show off her dress.

“Who are you and what have you done with Willow?” Xander joked. “Wil, you look awesome!”

“Buffy helped me!” she said excitedly.

The conversation between Willow and Xander fell to the background as Spike looked out the window in time to see Buffy walk out of her house toward her friends who were in her driveway, standing next to Angels freshly washed convertible waiting for her.

She was gorgeous. All dressed up and bouncing around with excitement. That was the way he wished she would look when she was with him.

Spike was smiling to himself as he watched her, until Captain Cardboard stepped into view and wrapped his meaty paws around Buffy’s perfect waist.


“You made a huge fuss over this?” Riley asked as he wrapped his arms around Buffy’s waist and looked her up and down. “I figured it would be better than this with all the hurrying you made me do to get out of your driveway.”

Buffy just stood there, speechless.

Is this really happening right now? This is my boyfriend?


Spike had to really fight the urge to run across the street and rip him a new one just at the look on Buffy’s face at whatever the poof had just said.

“We’re leaving,” Willow said breaking Spikes colorful and violent train of thought.

“Do you need me to drive you?” he asked, actually grateful for a change of thought.

“Could you?” Willow perked up. She wasn’t looking forward to walking five blocks in high heels.

“Yeh, ‘s no problem,” Spike said grabbing his keys. As they walked outside to Spikes camaro, Buffy managed to steal a glance their way. Spike smiled at her and gave her a wink that almost made Buffy’s knees completely give out, then he pointed at Willow and gave Buffy a thumbs up.

Buffy blushed and looked down for a moment before giving him a little nod and turning back to her group of friends, just in time for her mom to start snapping pictures.

Riley saw the bleached man get into his car, and he also noticed the way they smiled at each other. He was furious, but decided to put it aside for the time being. He knew how to make the other guy back off of his woman, and he planned on setting it forth as soon as the time was right.


x X x X x X x


The dance had been a complete bore for Buffy. She had already spent more time sitting alone at their table while Riley was off doing god-knows-what and Cordy and Angel danced together. She knew it would be like this. Every dance was always like this, but every time she would get up and find Riley long enough to dance with him she found herself getting frustrated and disappointed. He was a horrible dancer.

Spike was an amazing dancer.

Every time she would get up and dance with Riley her mind would go back to the night she and Spike danced together at the Bronze. The sensations he awoke inside of her that night… the spark that lingered every time the two of them were in a room together. She hadn’t felt that spark with Riley since the day she met Spike, and as much as that kind of bothered and scared her, it also excited her.

So there she sat, at the table by herself, trying not to think about Spike. As a result she actually ended up thinking about nothing BUT Spike… and avoided dancing with her boyfriend for the rest of the night so that maybe she wouldn’t be reminded of how much she wasn’t attracted to him anymore.

“Buffy, lets go! Last dance!” he bellowed from the dance floor.

God, he’s embarrassing…

She reluctantly got up and went over to him, for the sake of him embarrassing her more. She simply put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest and just moved slowly to the beat.

She had never slow-danced with Spike before, and still she was fairly certain he was a much better slow dancer than Riley as well. He probably wouldn’t step on her feet as much.

As they continued to move slowly to the last song of the night Buffy made a quick decision. She wouldn’t go out with her friends tonight. Usually It was tradition for them to all go grab a bite to eat and hang out before Angel, Cordy, and Riley went off on their Spring Break trips. Buffy didn’t want to do that tonight. She needed a break.


x X x X x X x


“You know, you guys, I don’t feel good. I think I wanna go home and sleep it off.”

“What?!?” Cordelia screeched as she turned around in her seat to look at her. “Buffy, you are becoming such an anti-social. Are you pregnant or something?”

“What?! No, Cordy. I just don’t feel good. Why do you guys question me every time I don’t feel good?”

“Because, you’ve been acting so weird for like a month now. It’s like you’re becoming a different person,” she said looking her up and down and turning back around in her seat with a huff.

“Yeah well maybe that’s a good thing,” she mumbled to herself but still loud enough for everyone to heard.

Despite Buffy’s final comment the entire car ride home was silent.

“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” Riley said to Angel.

As soon as he and Buffy got out of the car Angel pulled away and Buffy started to walk toward her house. When she could feel Riley following her in she stopped and turned toward him. “Riley, you should go meet up with them now. Like I said, I’m tired.”

He stood there a blinked a few times, dumbfounded and speechless. “Are you serious? Buffy, I’ve barely seen you all night!”

“Yeah? Well who’s fault is that?” she snapped.

“You’re gonna try and turn this around on me?”

“Turn what around? It doesn’t need to be turned, it’s already there! You were off with your friends for like eighty percent of that dance! You always do that!”

“Yeah so why are you freaking out about it now when you never did before?”

“Because I’m sick and tired of it, Riley! Angel and Cordy are always together and you see how happy they are? But we can’t have that because you’re constantly leaving me alone or making excuses not to see me and I’m sick of it! I want someone who wants me back… and I’m not talking sexually! I mean someone who actually wants to spend time with me!”

She thought she had been pissed off and disappointed before, but what added the icing on the cake was the way that he just stood there and didn’t even try to argue or tell her he doesn’t just keep her around for the sex. It made her feel like everything she had just said was even more true than she had suspected.

“You know what, Riley? I think we should take a break,” she said with pure seriousness on her face.

Oh my god, I’m actually doing this…

Riley remained speechless, avoiding eye contact with her, looking over her shoulder with a pissed off look on his face. “Buffy, I…”

“Riley, I’m sorry. I just think we need a little time away from each other to sort all of this bullshit out. We’ll take a break while you’re on vacation with your family, and we’ll talk things over more clearly when you get home in two weeks. But for now…”

“Yeah. We’re not together. I got it.”

Hearing the words out loud made Buffy feel a little guilty, but it needed to be done. She needed her time to sort things out, and he obviously needed time to himself to contemplate everything she just said.

“Well, like I said, I don’t feel good and I’m tired, so…”

“I’ll leave you alone,” he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets and backed toward where his truck was parked in the street.

Buffy could feel her chest tightening up but she refused to cry. She wasn’t wrong to do what she did. He was always off with other people instead of being with her. He would show up and be sweet with her when he was horny because he knew he could get what he wanted from her. He wasn’t compassionate on a regular basis, and she needed more from him.

As he pulled away she turned and walked into her house, quietly so as not to wake her mother. She trudged up into her room and grabbed a change of clothes, then turned right around and walked back downstairs and out the front door.


x X x X x X x


Spike was sitting at his computer desk with his headphones on listening to music. He had gotten so bored tonight that he actually wished he would have gone to the bloody dance. At least he would have gotten some free food.

It was one of the first nights in a while where Willow and Xander hadn’t been there for him to talk to or hang out with. And Buffy hadn’t really been around a whole lot lately. It was nights like tonight that made him miss England.

He sighed and took his headphones off, shut the monitor off and turned the chair to get up. Immediately he froze. She was standing there in the doorway of his bedroom. “Buffy…”

“Don’t say anything. Just… kiss me.”

TBC

CHAPTER TEN: Letting Loose

“Don’t say anything. Just… kiss me.”

Spike’s heart leapt when he heard her words. But… what about her poof? He didn’t want her running off regretting anything that might happen. Maybe she found out about all the other girls. Why else would she be over here after the dance instead of out with her friends? At the moment he had to stop caring. She was standing there in his doorway, she wanted him to kiss her.

He removed his glasses and tossed them onto his desk and licked his lips as he strode over to where she was in the doorway. She looked so bloody gorgeous in her dress, then again, she always looked gorgeous. She was Buffy.

He looked down and saw the bundle of clothes she had rolled up in her hands and smiled to himself. She was planning on staying a while.

“Spike, please…” she whispered as she took a step toward him.

She wants it… Give the girl what she wants…

He quickly snaked a hand around to the back of her neck and pulled her into a blazing kiss that immediately made her so dizzy that he quickly had to wrap his other arm around her waist to balance her.

The kiss was searing, for both of them, and Spike was about ready to explode when he realized she was kissing him back with just as much passion. In rage off all the emotion he turned and pinned her against the wall, pressing the length of his body against hers.

Buffy felt what she only thought existed in the movies. The sensations going through Buffy’s body were overwhelming. Things inside of her were being awoken that she thought she would never feel.

Their lips broke apart and Spike started to kiss her neck as Buffy panted. He couldn’t stop touching her, it was too cold without her. But then he remembered… Riley. Where did he fit into all of this, why was she here? He had to know…

Suddenly Spike growled and backed away from her, leaving her stunned and staring at him.

“You were just with him… you smell like him.”

Buffy grew nervous. She didn’t want him to kick her out. She just wanted to be with him tonight, to make her feel real and adored again. “I-I only danced with him a couple of times,” she said standing up strait. “But I didn’t do anything else with him. Not even a kiss goodnight.”

Spike looked at her skeptically, disappointed that he hadn’t heard what he wanted to hear.

“Why not? He wear the wrong color tie or something?” he said bitterly.

Buffy was upset, and it wasn’t because of what just happened down there between her and Riley, but because of Spike’s reaction to her. He reeled away and now he was angry with her. She didn’t want him to be angry.

“I was ignored basically all night. I made the decision early on to come here instead of going out. Spike, I wouldn’t kiss someone and right away come here to kiss you. I’m not that much of a bitch.” She took a step closer to him. “What I did when I got here was a little rash, I should have told you something first. But… when I saw you sitting there… all I could think about was how much I couldn’t wait to be here. With you.”

Spike stood there and thought about it for a moment. “Why did you want to come here? Couldn’t get your attention from captain cardboard so you figured you could get it from me?”

“No, Spike… It’s not about that. It’s about the way I feel around you. I feel so different, and yeah, a part of it has to do with the way you treat me, but I honestly feel better around you. I’m a better person around you.”

He didn’t say anything. Wasn’t sure what to say. He stood there with his arms crossed, looking at anything but her.

“I broke up with Riley… Well, actually I told him we were taking a break and not to bother calling while he was on vacation… not that he ever would… There are things going on with you that I don’t quite understand right npw. But you make me feel a way I haven’t felt in a really long time. So I came here… I wanted to be here with you.

“So… you broke up with Captain Cardboard because of me?”

“There are other things, but yeah. For the most part it was because of you.” Her face started to redden with the way he was staring at her. “I know that sounds so-“

Before she could even finish he was kissing her again, this time a little slower and much more sensual, but it was quickly turning faster and more passionate again.

“What… mmm…” *smack* “What do you… mmm… want to do?” she managed to ask between small feverish kisses.

Spike lifted his head and flashed a sexy smirk.

x X x X x

“Are you sure you don’t want any help in there scrubbing off poof smell? I’m told I’m very good with my hands…” Spike said through the door, loud enough for Buffy to hear over the running shower.

Buffy smiled to herself as she washed up, lathering soap all over her chest and shoulders, anywhere Riley’s cologne could still be lingering. “No,” she yelled back. “I can do it just fine myself.”

Spike pouted to himself and decided to just give up on that one. He supposed it would be a little fast in their relationship… or whatever they had… if her were to join her in the shower and help lather…

His mind was wandering off into a dangerous zone so he quickly decided to change the subject before he got himself into a situation he would have to excuse himself from to relieve some pressure. “Are you hungry, luv? I was thinking of finding something to eat. I’m feeling a bit peckish…”

Suddenly the door swung open and Spike nearly fell on top of the small blonde wrapped in a towel. He was practically drooling all over at the sight of her as she giggled and bounded over to her purse and grabbed a tiny glass bottle of perfume, spritzing herself with a vanilla-seduction scented mist.

Spike smiled again when her scent reached him.

Now that’s more like it. Purely Buffy…

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

She blushed again as she grabbed her bundle of fresh clothes from his bed and headed back to the bathroom to dress.

“You’re too nice to me. I’ve never gotten so many compliments as I have since I’ve met you.”

“Everyone else is a ninny then,” he smiled.

When she came back out of the bathroom fully dressed Spike couldn’t help but smile again. To have her over here like this, at almost two in the morning openly admitting she had feelings for him… Spike couldn’t be happier.

“So,” she said bounding over to him. “You said you were hungry?”

x X x X x

Spike and Buffy laid in bed, facing one another. Buffy was tired. It was almost four in the morning and she’d been awake for almost twenty-four hours. She yawned and Spike couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her.

“I’m sleepy,” she said with a smile.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” he asked quietly, hiding the sadness he felt at the thought of her leaving.

“I live across the street, it’s not that far of a walk.”

“Yeh but I gotta be a gentleman.”

Buffy laughed. “No you don’t.”

“You’re right,” he smiled. “I could just be a bad rude man.”

Buffy giggled again. When silence overtook the room and Spike looked at her with that look of warmth and content, she spoke.

“My mom thinks I’m spending the night at Cordelia’s… If I go home now I’m sure to wake her up…”

“Do you want to stay here?” he asked in a deep, raspy voice that made Buffy shiver.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Bloody fucking hell yes!

His heart seemed to skip a beat. “Yes.”

Buffy smiled and yawned again, closing her eyes and snuggling deeper into the pillows. “Good.”

Spike was doing back flips inside. She was going to spend the night… here… with him… in his bed. He couldn’t do anything but smile as he pulled the blanket up over her tiny frame and smiled even brighter when she snuggled into it. Within moments she was asleep, leaving Spike laying there completely bewildered at everything that had happened that night.

She ditched her friends after school to help a wallflower look beautiful for her very last Spring Formal that she originally wasn’t planning on going to. She left for the dance looking so happy in the arms of her cheating boyfriend, and came home to him instead of going out with her friends.

Spike couldn’t figure out why she found he and his friends more worth her time. She had everything going for her. Buffy was more than just a pretty face, and it was unfortunate that most people saw her that way. She had an amazing heart. They’d see now, someday soon, what she was really like. Someday soon.

Spike quietly snuck off the bed over to the bathroom to take a shower, and when he was done he simply slipped on a pair of shorts and crawled back into bed next to her, careful so as not to wake her. He settled in close behind her but not too close in case she woke up regretting her decision to spend the night here. He was close enough to smell her hair and he was happy with that… for now. It made him content. Lying there next to Buffy, Spike finally fell asleep with a smile on his face.


“Ungh…. Uhh… Spike…” Buffy mewled underneath him. Her head rolled back and forth uncontrollably with pleasure. “Oh Spike… I wanted this so bad.”

“Wanted you too, pet,” he panted as he drove into her again and again. “Bloody gorgeous, you are.”

“Ungh…. UNGH…. SPIKE!”

“Buffy…” he lowered his head and she immediately dove forward for a kiss, feeling like she was going to swallow him whole. When she released his lips to breathe he ducked his head down and latched onto a pert nipple and suckled it as her moans grew louder.

“SPIKE!”

Her orgasm hit so hard Spike actually felt the bed shake around them, and the way she felt took him over the edge seconds later. “Buffy I love you…”

“Spike?”

“I love you.”

x X x X x

It was almost noon when Buffy woke the next day. For a moment she almost forgot where she was and began to panic, but as soon as she saw a flash of bleached blonde hair on the pillow next to hers she remembered, and felt strangely calm.

He was unbelievably sexy, even when he was asleep. His hair was all messy and no longer slicked back like usual. His milky skin stretched deliciously over his chiseled muscles and cheekbones. She could have jumped him right then and there.

Buffy reached a hand out and lightly ran a finger over his lips. They were so soft. She was bewildered, and a little scared, by the feelings that coursed through her when she was with him. From the day she met him there was just something about him…

With a sigh Buffy pulled her hand back and looked around the room for something to do. She knew she had taken a shower the night before but the idea of a nice hot bubble bath was pretty appealing right now.

She quietly slipped out of the bed and tip-toed her way into the bathroom, closing the door behind her but not closing it all the way. She crept around to the faucet and began running the bath, pouring some of her own body wash in to make it bubbly. When the water was done running and the bath was steaming she slipped out of her pj’s and into the warm bath.

When Spike awoke he could immediately tell that she was gone, the warmth of her body next to his was gone. He couldn’t even describe the disappointment that coursed through him, yet he knew he should have expected it.

He ran a hand through his tousled hair as he sat up and slid over to the edge of the bed. As he sat there willing himself to wake up he heard a small splash of water and it caught his attention. Quickly he got up and walked over to the bathroom door which was ajar and pushed it open, revealing the petite blonde laying there in the tub.

“You don’t knock?” she asked teasingly with a saucy smirk.

Spikes eyes roamed over her tanned, wet body who’s goodies were deliciously covered with bath suds in such a teasing manner. In a flash he was imagining climbing in there with her, pleasuring her to new heights so that she couldn’t walk. He wanted to so badly, especially after the dream he’d had last night. He was surprised he didn’t jump on her right then and there.

“I-I thought you left…” he managed to squeak out.

“Nope,” she said cheerily. “Still here, nice and bubbly.”

“I can see that,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving hers.

She blushed a little, realizing then how incredibly naked she was and the only thing giving her any coverage was a bunch of suds, and Spikes eyes. What made her giggle, however, was Spikes reaction to seeing her in the tub, made very apparent by the tent that was forming in his shorts.

He knew what she was thinking. He saw her looking at his pants and giggling, he wasn’t ashamed of it. He didn’t even think twice about trying to hide it. She already knew he was crazy about her so what did she expect? She was fucking naked for christ’s sake!

“I think I’m gonna get out now that you’re awake…” she said slightly sitting up, making sure the suds stayed on her body in the places they should.

“Oh by all means, go right ahead,” Spike laughed as he crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

Buffy smiled, blushed, and threw a washcloth at him. “Get out!” she giggled.

“Fine…” he pouted, throwing the washcloth back at her. “I’m thinking I want waffles for breakfast. You?”

Buffy’s eyes lit up. “Strawberry?” she asked with excitement.

“Anything you want, kitten,” he said with a wink as he handed her a fresh towel from the closet. “I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re through.”

“Okay,” she said sort of breathlessly. Between the wink and him calling her kitten she was turning into a giant puddle of Buffy-goo again.

When he left the room she pulled the plug and stood up in the tub, wiping the suds and excess water off of herself. Her knee’s were kind of wobbly because of that hunk of burning something-or-other downstairs.

What am I getting myself into…

x X x X x

As Buffy walked down the stairs the smell of fresh, homemade strawberry waffles filled the air, and she found herself smiling and bounding the rest of the way down.

“Mmm, yummy smells,” she said coming up behind him, going up on her tippy toes so she could put her chin on his shoulder.

“You’re just in time, luv,” he said as he opened the waffle press and pulled out a steaming but perfect strawberry waffle. He set it on a plate and Buffy immediately reached out for it but Spike stopped her. “Wait…” He hurried over to the pantry and grabbed a small container of something, then hurried over to the refrigerator and pulled out a tall skinny can of something else. When he came back to the plate he sprinkled a light layer of powdered sugar over the waffles, then sprayed a swirl of whipped cream in the center and topped it off with a couple of fresh strawberries.

Buffy beamed up at him, surprised and touched that he would spend so much time in preparing her a simple waffle. “Well aren’t you the little chef…”

“Anything for you, kitten,” he said with a wink.

Buffy stomped her foot. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Stop doing that!”

“What am I doing?” he chuckled.

“That! Being all sexy and cute and making me swoon…”

A new wave of confidence went through him. He stepped closer to her. “But what if I like making you swoon,” he said in his low rumbly voice.

Buffy tilted her head back so her eyes could meet his. “Why do you like to make me swoon?” she asked in an almost-whisper.

“Because,” he said as he moved in closer to her, lips so close they were practically grazing each other. Buffy’s eyes started to slide closed and she leaned in closer to him when suddenly he pulled back. “I’m a bad, rude man… remember?”

Buffy’s jaw dropped but she couldn’t help but smile at the same time. “Gimme my waffle!”

x X x X x

Spike and Buffy had spent almost the entire day making out like crazed teenagers. It was nearing dinner-time and Buffy felt like she should go home and make an appearance to her mother, but every time she began to gather her things Spike would pout and Buffy would run back into his arms giggling, but finally she caught a break.

“Spike! Are you home?” his uncle Rupert yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

Spike huffed with aggravation. “Yeh!” he yelled back.

“I really think I oughta go now,” Buffy said quietly. “And no more pouting,” she said with the resolve face she learned from Willow.

Spike reluctantly smiled and sighed, and nodded as he helped her gather the rest of her things. “If you want to wait a moment I’ll get ol’ Rupes to go into the den so you can go out the front door instead of climbing out the window with all that stuff.”

“You don’t have to do that. We’ll just say we were hanging out for a while,” she said as she walked with her things toward his bedroom door.

Spike shook his head and smiled to himself, happy that she didn’t seem to want to hide their “friendship” anymore.

“What?” Buffy asked, waiting for him by the door.

“Nothing,” he said as he hurried over to the door, opening it for her and escorting her down the stairs.

“Miss Summers,” Rupert said with surprise. “Nice to see you.”

“Hi, Mr. Giles.”

“Will you be staying for dinner? I’m not quite sure what I’ll be making yet but…”

“Actually I promised mom I would be home. Thank you, though,” she said with a smile. She turned to Spike as they walked toward the front door. “So um, talk to you later?”

“Yeh,” he smiled. “I’ve got your cell number so maybe I’ll give you a ring later on.”

“That would be nice,” she said as she opened the door and stepped out onto the small porch. “See ya.”

“I’ll talk to you later, kitten.”

Buffy’s smile grew as she walked down the steps and scurried her way across the yard, across the street and into her house where her mother was cooking in the kitchen.

“Hi, mom.”

Joyce turned to greet her daughter. “Hi, honey. How was the dance?”

x X x X x

'…such an amazing kisser. Oh my god he is so hot. He makes Riley look like a mook.'

After eating dinner and talking with her mother Buffy retreated up to her bedroom, still so wired from everything that had happened that day, she just had to write in her diary about the sexy bleached blonde across the street.

She had already gone on and on for pages about how everything had happened and what happened and everything she started to feel for him over the course of one night. It was all so new. She hadn’t felt that giddiness over a guy since Riley, and she stopped feeling that for him a while ago.

This, what she was feeling for Spike, was that exciting new crush you get when you’re in grade school. The crush that makes you pass notes to your best friend in the middle of class. However, she knew she was going to have tp make a major decision in a few weeks. Spike, or Riley. It wasn’t going to be easy.

But she didn’t want to think about that right now. She had two weeks to be free of worry and responsibility, and she planned to use that advantage in full.

Just as she was about to close up her diary and snuggle into her bed her cell phone began to ring. When she looked to see who was calling she cringed. Cordelia. She pressed the button for ignore, really not feeling like explaining everything that happened with her and Riley. Surely she knew about what Buffy said to him, and she didn’t feel like arguing right now. She was enjoying her freedom, and she didn’t want to feel guilty.

A few minutes passed and she snuggled into her comforter with Mr. Gordo and got ready for a good nights sleep, but once again her cell began to ring.

“Damnit, Cordelia!” she cursed to herself as she sat up once again and grabbed the phone, only this time she didn’t recognize the number. Then she remembered what Spike had told her earlier.

I’ll call you later, kitten.

The sheer memory of it thrilled her and she was quick to answer. “Hello?” she said carefully, hoping to god it wasn’t really Cordy calling from a different number.

“Hello, cutie,” the warm luscious voice came from the other end of the line.

“Spike…” she sighed in relief. “Hey.” There was a sort of awkward silence for a moment as neither one of them really knew what to say. “Hey, you know, you never told me how you got my number…”

“Oh, I have my ways,” he chuckled. But soon after he grew nervous, and the worry was apparent in his voice. “Would you rather I didn’t call you? Because if you don’t want me to then-“

“No! No… I was just curious is all. What’s up?” she asked as she laid back against her pillow with a shy smile on her lips.

“Uh, nothin’ really. I mean, there was something I wanted to ask you but I guess I really just wanted to hear your voice.

Buffy swoon-age.

Is this man for real? Could he be any sweeter? Only William Spike Giles could be so sexy and so sweet at the same time…

“How are you so sexy and so sweet all at the same time?”

She immediately slapped herself on the forehead.

You’re an idiot Buf. Really, good goin’.

Spike chuckled on the other end of the line. “How can you be so sexy and so cute at the same time?”

His non-arrogant reply made Buffy feel a little bit better. At least she knew her attraction wasn’t all one-sided.

“Anyway… was wondering if you had any plans for tomorrow night. There’s this club about an hour away from here, a friend of mine is playing a gig. Would you want to go with me?”

She was a little conflicted. She did really want to go, but what if someone saw them together? Sure, she had gone to the Bronze that one night with him, but it had been a rash decision that could have gotten the both of them in a lot of trouble. They got off lucky when no one said anything about it.

But still, just knowing that she could freely dance with him, feeling his body against hers, feeling his hands and lips on her…

“I’m in… I mean, you know… I’d love to go,” she blushed to herself.

Spike smiled to himself, “Great,” he said sounding very relieved, as if he was nervous about what her answer might be. “I’ll see you tomorrow around eight?”

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s a date.”

“Okay then. See you then…”

“Mhmm…”

“Goodnight, Buffy.”

“Night, Spike,” she said softly.

They both hung up their phones and Buffy immediately saved his number into her contacts, fully expected that they’d be talking on the phone again in the future. She buried her face into her pillow, stifling a scream of excitement and embarrassment all in one.

Across the street Spike was staring at the phone in his hand with a shy smirk on his face at the new feelings he was beginning to feel for this woman. Tomorrow night couldn’t come sooner.

It’s a date.

TBC

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Preparations

Buffy had woken up the next day with a good amount of confidence. She was going to set things strait with Spike, be honest and tell him everything, and that technically she was still with Riley.

Maybe.

She really wanted to go to that club and have a good time with him. She knew she would have a great time as long as both of them were in good moods, and she was sure that if she told him about Riley she would probably get left there with no ride home.

But he really deserves to know…

With a frustrated pout she plopped down on her bed, staring out her window across the street to his window.

It was no secret to herself, to Spike, or to Willow and Xander that she had a major crush on him. She had even turned all of the pictures of Riley in her room face down so she wouldn’t have to look at them. It would have been nice if she had a picture of Spike to keep somewhere, as a secret memento of what they have together. Especially if it didn’t last. She wished so badly that all the cliques and everything in her school didn’t exist. She wished her best friend wasn’t such a snob. She was starting to wish she was just a different person all together.

“Buffy!” Joyce yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “Buffy, Willow’s here!”

While hearing her mothers words she noticed how there was once a time when she would have been disgusted to know that Willow Rosenburg was coming to her house. But now, it was almost comforting to hear of the red heads presence.

“I’m up here, Wil,” she yelled back. “Come on up!”

Buffy quickly tossed her diary into her desk drawer and picked a few things up off the floor before Willow stepped into the room.

“Hey, Buffy. I brought your dress and your shoes back.”

“Oh, thanks. Hey, I didn’t get to see you at the dance, did you have fun?” she asked as she motioned for Willow to sit down next to her on her bed.

“I had a great time,” she smiled warmly. “I met a boy…”

Buffy playfully smacked her friends arm. “See! I told you! You’re a hottie.”

Willow blushed.

“So who was he?”

Willow’s smile immediately returned, wider and brighter than before. “His name’s Oz. Well, Daniel Ozbourne… Oz.”

“Oh I know who you’re talking about. He’s a cutie patutie. How’d you get to talking to him?”

“Over at the buffet table. He was joking about the food. Oh, Buffy, I like him so much!”

Buffy giggled and was genuinely happy for the girl. “Well does he know you like him?”

“I think so. I’m pretty much a spaz when it comes to dating so… But… I think he might kinda like me too.”

“Well then start putting the moves in him!”

Willow began frantically shaking her head. “Oh no, I can’t. Moves, a-and me equals spaz.”

“Have confidence, Wil. I’ll help you catch this guy. No one can resist the charm of Willow with a little help from me.”

“Willow smiled. “You’re a really good friend.”

Buffy’s smile faded for a second, but quickly returned. “You consider me a friend?” she asked.

“Well, yeah. You’ve been so great and so fun to be around,” she paused. “Unless you don’t want to be. I’ll understand…”

“No! No… I like it. I just figured after all of the teasing and making fun of you and Xander you guys would hate me.” She looked down at her fidgeting hands, embarrassed. “You should hate me.”

Willow shook her head. “You’re different now. You’re not the same person you were when you did that. Besides, Cordelia did more teasing than the rest of the school combined. Whatever you said doesn’t seem like a big deal now. Like I said, you’re different.”

“Am I?” Am I really that different because I don’t feel it. Or, I don’t act it. I don’t know…”

Willow studied Buffy’s face and she could tell something was up. “Did something happen? You seem distressed about something.”

Buffy sighed. “I told Spike I broke up with Riley.”

“You broke up with-“

“Only I didn’t. I told Riley we would take a break over… well break. And that we’d see how things were when he got back. But I told Spike that we broke up. And I kissed him.”

Willow sort of shifted uncomfortably and kept looking at her. “When?”

“The night before last, right after the dance.” She sort of cringed as she said her next few words, knowing Willow would be shocked. “And I may have slept over his house, in his bed, and… I pretty much made out with him all day yesterday…”

Buffy stared at Willow’s face, trying to interpret what she was going to say. She was more worried than she ever though she would be that Willow would ridicule her.

“Do you love him?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

“Who?” Buffy asked.

“Riley.”

Buffy looked sheepishly down at her hands. “I…” she sighed and shook her head. “I thought I did… but after meeting Spike, and hanging out with you guys… I’m having all these second thoughts on the people I surround myself with and call my friends.”

Willow simply nodded, Spikes words going through her head again and again about Riley’s unfaithfulness. Her heart immediately went out to Buffy. No one deserved to be cheated on or lead on the way she was being. Willow wanted to tell her so bad, but it really wasn’t her place to. She hadn’t seen it herself so she really couldn’t be one-hundred percent positive that Riley really was cheating on her, but Spike couldn’t just make that up.

“Well, what are you feeling for Spike? Do you think anything more will happen with that?”

Willow noted how Buffy smiled as soon as she said Spike’s name… and then cursed herself for sounding like a psychologist.

“I… I find myself liking him more and more and more every single time I’m around him. He makes me feel so good and free around him.” She paused for a moment, smiling at wherever her thoughts had wandered. “And oh my god he is an amazing kisser.”

Willow smiled and slid closer, enjoying this girl talk she was never really able to experience before. “Really? What was it like?”

“Well, we’ve sorta kissed before but, they were kind of accidents. But, when he kisses me now, it feels like he’s making me feel beautiful without even trying. When Riley kissed me after the first time I kissed Spike it felt like he was trying to swallow my face. Spike has such passion, and its so natural with him.” By the time she was don’t speaking it looked like her mind was in a far off place by the dreamy look on her face.

“Wow…” Willow smiled.

Buffy nodded. “He asked me to go to this club with him later on tonight, it’s about an hour away. This band he likes is playing there I guess.”

Willow immediately perked up. “That’s Oz’s band! Xander and I are going too.”

“Oh really? Cool!” Buffy said, although there was a hint of disappointment that she and Spike wouldn’t be alone.

Willow could see all of the thoughts going through Buffy’s head, and she could see the stress it was causing her.

“Hey Buffy…”

Buffy looked up.

“I know you’ve got a lot to think about with this whole Spike/Riley situation, but just try and keep in mind that Spike really likes you. I just don’t want to see him get hurt if you choose Riley over him. And… you should tell him that you haven’t technically broken-up with him. Spike’s falling for you fast.”

Buffy had been careful to protect herself, but she never really thought of Spikes reaction to hearing the truth. She mostly figured he would just get mad, but she never thought about whether or not he’s be sad.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” she said quietly. “But it’s such a big change in such a short time. I kinda need to psych myself up for it, you know?”

Willow nodded. If only she could tell Buffy the truth about Riley… It would make her decision much more obvious.

Buffy was worrying herself now, nervous about how to tell Spike that she was technically still with Riley, but she didn’t want to think too much on it now, it would only make things harder.

“Hey,” Buffy said changing the subject. “You wanna go get lunch?”

x X x X x

“What about this?” Buffy asked, holding up another skirt. She was having Willow help her pick an outfit to wear out with Spike tonight. Willow shook her head.

“Nah, go with the red one. Red is Spike’s favorite color,” she smiled devilishly.

Buffy matched her smile and dropped the blue halter, snatching the red one up from her bed. “Okay, so we got the shirt down, but what do you think… Leather pants? Or mini skirt?”

“I think pants.”

“Yeah?” Buffy said excitedly. “They do make my ass look good.” Willow blushed. “Come on,” Buffy said lying her outfit down on the bed. “Now it’s your turn.” She grabbed the red heads hands and pulled her up off the bed.

“Me? Wh-why my turn?”

“I told you I was going to help you snag this guy Oz. One night of sexy Willow will be sure to get his undivided attention. He’ll want to hop off stage and devour you right there,” she said as she rummaged through her clothes.

“Well, I won’t look like that every day. What if he likes me better in your clothes and realizes he really doesn’t like me in my own clothes?” she nervously asked as she eyed up the clothes Buffy had started pulling for her.

“I promise you that won’t happen. Once you’ve fallen for Willow, you stay fallen,” she said with confidence.
Willow couldn’t help but smile at that. “You know, I’m really starting to enjoy having another girl for a friend. Spike and Xander just don’t understand me like you do.”

Buffy smiled back. “That’s because we’re so much smarter than men. Now put this on.”

x X x X x

“They are gonna freak when they see you!”

“I do look pretty different, huh?” Willow said as she eyed herself up in the mirror.

When Buffy first made her come out of the bathroom she was really unsure of herself, but the more praise Buffy gave her she felt more confident. Then when Mrs. Summers had come upstairs and saw her even she had told Willow she looked good, so she decided to go for it… just for tonight.

She was wearing an amber colored half-shirt that showed off her slim torso. The black mini skirt she told Buffy not to wear was now on her, and Buffy gave her a pair of black heeled boots to match. To top everything off Buffy did her makeup for her in complimenting tones, and did her hair up in a spunky style that let small strands hang down over her shoulders and face.

Buffy had also changed into her outfit and was presently putting her own makeup on while Willow kept looking at herself in the mirror.

“Maybe we should have let Xander in on our total hotness night,” Buffy said as she pressed her lips together and closed her lipstick.

“Nah, he’s already got some girl named Anya hanging all over him. She’s gonna be there tonight so he won’t be lonely.”

“Oh… well that’s good,” she said as she started to press her freshly bleached blonde hair in the straightener. She figured a fresh bleach would make her look sassy, and she’d really match Spike now. She planned on making sure that every girl who tried to hit on him knew he was there with her tonight. Even if she had to scratch the eyes out of every single girl to do it. As she was thinking those very thoughts something dawned on her. She wanted to be with Spike.

I want. To be. With Spike...

A smile crept it’s way onto her lips as she continued to straighten her hair.

x X x X x

Spike was so nervous. Every time he felt himself calming he would remember what she said to him the previous night, and he’d get nervous again.

It’s a date.

Every time he ran the words through his head he would panic, thinking he didn’t look good enough or he wasn’t clean enough, and he’d run and take another shower. At this point he had to be the cleanest man in California.

Deciding to try and relax, he sat down on his bed and flipped on the tv to try and pass the time. There was still a half hour or so before he had to gather the troops and head out. As he laid back against his pillow he happened to take a quick glance over toward Buffy’s house. Her curtains were closed but he could see her silhouette. She was bouncing around the room, presumably getting ready for tonight. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he got too nervous again.

There was a knock on his bedroom door, and it began to open before he got the chance to reply, and Xander peeked his head in. “Hey man, what’s up?” he asked coming fully into the room.

“Hey,” Spike said still gazing out his window to the silhouette of Buffy.

Xander looked back and forth between Spike and the window, quirked and eyebrow and stepped closer to see if he could figure out what he was looking at. When he saw nothing in the window he looked further and finally saw what the object of Spike’s affection was. Buffy.

“Dude,” Xander said shaking his head. “Give it up. She’s nothing but a tease. You’re never gonna get her. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

A small smile crept its way onto Spikes lips. “That’s what you think, mate,” he chuckled as he stretched. “I’ve already got ‘er.”

“What? Be kind, rewind. When did this happen?” he asked pulling the computer chair over and sitting backwards on it.

“She dumped her hunnie and spent the night here with me,” he smirked.

Xander didn’t know what to say. In the matter of a month this guy was able to change Buffy from a California brat to a normal girl who didn’t act like she was the queen of the world. “You are a god.”

x X x X x

“Ahuhuhhhh… I’m so nervous,” Buffy said looking at Willow. “What if he thinks I look dumb?”

Willow rolled her eyes. “I really don’t think that’s going to be a problem. I think the problem is going to be trying to get him to keep his hands off of you,” she smiled as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Buffy couldn’t help but smile. She had never been so nervous about going out with a guy in her entire life. She was always queen B, but with Spike she was just Buffy-goo for him to play with as he pleased. He didn’t know it, but he could hurt her if he really wanted, and she hoped to god he wouldn’t figure that out, or she probably would end up hurt.

“He’s just a guy, right?” Buffy said trying to calm herself. “I’ve gone out with lots of guys before, no big. Oh, not all at the same time of course. Not that I’m a total hobisquit or anything!... guh.”

Willow giggled. Buffy was babbling out of nervousness of seeing Spike. She was acting as if this was a first date sort of thing, and Willow supposed in a way it kind of was, but it was also just supposed to be a night out with friends. Either way, she hoped the night would go well for everybody.

“How’s my hair?” Buffy asked for the hundredth time.
“Your hair is fine, you look fine, everything is fine, Buffy. Don’t be so nervous. The night’s going to be great.”
Buffy quirked an eyebrow at her. “Says the girl who was just freaking out about her outfit and a particular guitarist we’re going to be seeing tonight.”

Willows eyes grew wide and she paled. She had been listening to Buffy be nervous for so long that she forgot to be nervous herself. “Oh god, Oz…”

“Don’t worry, Wil. You’ve already got this guy. You just need to remind him how sexy you can be,” she winked.

The doorbell rang, and the two girls looked at each other in panic.

“Buffy! Spike and Xander are here!” Joyce yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

“Here we go,” Buffy said quietly as the two girls linked arms and made their way down the stairs.

As soon as they began to descend the stairs she could see him standing by the door talking to her mother.

He was Drop. Dead. Gorgeous.

Willow tightened her arm around Buffy’s just in case her legs decided to stop working.

He was dressed in his usual black jeans boots, but he had a purple button down shirt on, the top two or three buttons undone revealing part of his delectable chest. He had on a long black leather coat and he was wearing a few pieces of jewelry, a silver chain that hung loosely around his neck and a few bulky skull rings. To top everything off his hair was slightly mussed instead of slicked back, just the way Buffy liked.

I want you…

He was the definition of sexy.

He was mid-sentence when he finally looked up and saw her. Spike felt his mouth go dry at the sight of her. Her eyes were transfixed on his as he looked her up and down and drank her up.

She had skin-tight leather pants that were snug to her hips, and a blood red halter that tied behind the neck and fell loosely over her breasts. Her tanned skin contrasted against her freshly bleached hair and dark eye makeup.

Need to feel you…

She was sex on legs.

Xander walked over to see what Spike was staring at but came to a screeching halt when he saw the girl attached to Buffy’s arm.

“Yee-gods!” he yelped, and that got a smile out of the girl in question as she detached herself from Buffy and walked the rest of the way down the stairs.

All conversations fell to the background as Spike and Buffy looked at each other, drinking each other up. The lust was clear in their eyes. Joyce, who had been talking to Spike when her daughter came down the stairs, now looked between the two of them and a smile formed on her face as she understood now what was happening between the two. She quietly turned and walked away to the kitchen.

Buffy walked slowly the rest of the way down the stairs and up close to Spikes body. She lifted her hands and played with the lapels of his jacket as she flipped her hair and looked up at him with her big green eyes and a teasing smile. “You ready to go?” she asked quietly.

Spike’s eyes were transfixed on her blood red lips as she spoke. He had to keep himself from throwing her over his shoulder and throwing her on one of the beds upstairs and fucking her senseless. He shuddered as he imagined it. When he opened his eyes and took a deep breath he let his trademark smirk come out.

“You know it.”

TBC

CHAPTER TWELVE: Let Lust Happen

"... so Buffy helped me out to maybe get his attention," Willow rambled from the back seat of Spikes car. "I just hope it actually works."

"He'd have to be a complete ninny not to notice you, Red," he said looking at her through the rear view mirror. "Even when you're not all dressed up. He'd be insane not to jump all over you... figuratively speaking."

Buffy looked up at him and a feeling coursed through her. He was genuinely kind and caring, even when he was rocking major sex appeal. That was it. She decided. She was most definitely going to break up with Riley the second he got home so that she could be with this man she was sitting next to right now. There was no question about it. She was done caring what her friends thought. If everyone else in school were anything like Xander and Willow, she was sure she'd have no problem adjusting to the new social structure. And even if she didn't, she'd still be happy as long as Spike, Willow, and Xander would still have her.

Buffy reached over from her spot in the passengers seat and grabbed Spike's free hand, holding it firmly in her own with a sedated and peaceful smile on her face.

When Spike felt her hand slip into his he looked over at her. She wasn't looking at him, just looking forward on to the road with a smile on her face. Watching her smile made him smile, and he tightened his grip on her small hand.

From the back seat Xander and Willow looked at their friends' interlocked hands and then at each other. Willow's face was lit up as she looked back and forth between the hands and Xander. Xander just stared at the couple in shock, but was surprisingly pleased and comforted by the sight of them.

x X x X x

Buffy, Spike, Willow, and Xander all walked into the dimly lit club and immediately surveyed the scene. Buffy nodded and looked up at Spike with a smile. "I like it."

He smiled and looked back down on her. "Good," he chuckled. "I'm gonna grab some drinks. You want?"

"Something sweet," she smiled. "We'll grab a table," she said as they bounded away.

They found a table that gave Willow a good view of the stage so she could see Oz play.

"Xander!" a golden haired girl shrieked as she ran toward Xander and threw her arms around him.

Willow looked at Buffy who was looking wide-eyed at the pair trying to hide a smile. Willow giggled at the sight.

"Hey, Ahn," Xander said giving her a little hug back, but not nearly with as much enthusiasm.

"Oh my god, Willow, is that you?" Anya asked detaching herself from Xander.

"Yep," Willow smiled.

"We're getting the attention of a guy by bringing out her inner sexy," Buffy said with confidence.

"Oh," Anya said with a smile and an excited look on her face. "I'm sure once he sees you he'll want to give you many orgasms."

Buffy looked at Anya with raised eyebrows and she couldn't help but laugh a little. Willow face turned bright red as she cautiously looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Come on, Wil. Let's go dance." Buffy didn't even give her a chance to protest as she grabbed her friends arm and pulled her out onto the dance floor. Oz's band hadn't started their set yet so a band with a more sensual style was up on stage finishing up their own set.

"Buffy, I don't know how to dance," Willow said nervously as they nestled their way on to the dance floor.

"Don't worry, it's not hard. Just follow the movements of my body and it'll start to come naturally."

Willow nodded but was still very nervous as she started to move with the beat of the music.

Over at the bar Oz walked up to Spike and patted him on the back as he ordered a drink of his own. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Not too much, mate. How about you?"

"Things are good. Just waitin' to set up," the shorter man nodded as the bar tender handed him his drink. The two men simultaneously dropped their money on the bar and they walked over toward where Xander and Anya were sitting... and staring.

Willow had gotten more comfortable with her dancing already and instead of dancing side by side, Buffy and Willow began to dance together, leaving nothing to the imagination.

"What are you starin' at, Harris?" Spike chuckled at the look on his and Anya's faces.

When neither one of them responded, both Spike and Oz looked at each other with questioning looks on their faces, then out onto the dance floor where Xander and Anya’s attention was directed. Spike was mid-swig of his drink when his eyes fell on Buffy and Willow, and had to practically choke down his drink to keep from spitting it all over the table and his friends.

"Is that Buffy Summers?" Oz asked casually. "Dancing with another girl?"

"Dancing with Willow," Xander added.

Oz's head shot up as he studied the woman dancing with Buffy, squinting to see her face.

Yeah... that's Willow. Wow...

"Kay..." He never took his eyes off of Willow. "I missed something, right? 'Cause this is all making the kind of sense thats... not."

Xander, though still in his trance decided to fill Oz in. "Buffy's been sneaking away from her friends to hang out with Spike and in the process befriended me and Willow. She's also been helping Willow make herself more noticeable so she could get the attention of this guy she's interested in."

Oz immediately felt disappointed and strangely sad. "Willow's interested in a guy...?"

"Yeah," Xander said, finally taking his gaze away from the girls to look up at Oz. "And that'd be you..."

Oz's disappointment immediately vanished and a new sense of excitement rose up in him, but in his true nature, he didn't really let it show. "Oh. Well... that's very comforting."

Spike's eyes were glazed over as he kept them glued to Buffy. The way she moved her hips to the music and rolled her head around with pure lust apparent in her eyes, and the way she finally made eye contact him. He was absolutely done for.

He kept having continuous flashes of throwing her down on the bed, on the floor, up against the wall, in the shower, pounding into her, making her scream so loud and hard she'd lose her voice.

As if knowing that Spike would explode if he couldn't touch her soon, Buffy began whispering something in Willow's ear and the both of them looked strait at Spike and giggled. Willow danced her way off the dance floor and toward where Spike was standing. Buffy remained on the dance floor, never losing eye contact with him.

Suddenly he was being pushed from behind as Willow giggled and took his drink out of his hand, forcing him forward onto the dance floor where Buffy was dancing, waiting for him.

Without a second thought he wrapped his arms around her possessively and came up so close behind her she could feel his erection through his jeans. The thought of what she could do to him made a puddle form in her underwear as she smiled and writhed against him, expertly making him elicit a low growl into her ear.

A smiling Willow sat down at the table where Spike had been sitting, which was conveniently right next to Oz. She confidently looked up at him and gave him a smile. Oz smiled in return and slowly and subtly inched his way closer to her. When Willow noticed him shuffling closer she worked up the courage to turn so that she was completely facing him and actually worked at striking up a conversation. It was amazing how much more confidence she had with Buffy's help and support.

"Hey Oz. We came to watch you play."

"Well I'm glad. I was hoping I'd get to see you again soon."

Willow beamed.

"You look..." Oz began but stopped when he realized there wasn't a good enough word to describe her.

Willow got nervous. She didn't want him to like her only because of her current outfit. "Buffy did it. It's not really me. I mean, I like it. I like the way I feel in it, but it's only for tonight."

"Well I like that. Cute Willow is just as amazing as sexy Willow," he smiled.

She beamed again.

He said I was amazing... and sexy!! Thank you Buffy!

On the dance floor Spike had his hands on her hips, guiding her to rub against him in a hypnotizing way. She rolled her head back onto his shoulder and breathed heavily on his neck. Her hands went up to his hair as she ran her fingers through it. He took the opportunity to run his hands up and down her sides and abdomen. She turned her head again and pulled his head slightly down so she could whisper directly into his ear.

"Mmm I want you," she said in what sounded like nothing more than a sigh and followed it with a hiss as he rubbed harder.

He lifted his head and looked at her then looked at her lips and moved in for a breathtaking kiss.

Everyone who was sitting at the table literally let their mouths drop open at the sight of their two friends in front of them. If no one knew before, they definitely knew now that they were here together and it was going to stay that way.

"Well," Oz began. "This is all really interesting, but I've gotta go set up. We're up next," he said as he turned to Willow. "I'll see you later?" he said with a hint of hopefulness.

Willow smiled. "I'll be waiting," she said with confidence.

"You have the sweetest smile..." Oz added before turning to the others. "I'll catch you guys later."

Buffy and Spike didn't hear the song end as they stood there in the middle of the dance floor, people all around them dispersing to their tables and to the bar to wait for the next set, leaving them exposed to everyone else in the club.

Over by the bar a tall broad shouldered man was standing chatting with the bartender when he idly looked over at the dance floor and saw a familiar face, kissing someone he thought she shouldn’t' t be kissing.

On impulse he pulled out his cell phone and immediately dialed a number, and waited for the other side to pick up.

"Hey Ry, it's Graham. You're not gonna believe what I'm looking at right now..."

x X x X x

"Come on! You have to dance!" Willow yelled to Spike from the dance floor.

"I don't dance, you know that!" he yelled back.

Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Anya had all been out on the floor dancing to Oz's band and having a great time, while Spike sat and guarded the table, happily watching Buffy dance. A strange feeling kept washing though him every time he looked out there and saw Buffy and his friends together. It was comforting. He was happy. For the first real time since he'd moved here he was happy.

"You are such a liar!" Buffy yelled back to him. "You were just dancing with me like an hour ago!"

"That was different," he said with a pouty face.

Buffy loved the pouty face. She giggled and ran over to the table where he was still pouting, but looking her up and down like a dog would a delicious piece of meat. And where Buffy probably would have been extremely annoyed if it were Riley looking at her that way... the fact that Spike was looking at her that way was only turning her on.

"It was not different, now come on," she said grabbing his arm and pulling him out to the floor.

Willow, Xander, and Anya all greeted Spike with smiles as Buffy wrapped his arms around herself from behind and rested her head back against his chest, smiling.

Xander caught Spikes eye for a second and motioned toward Buffy, giving him a reassuring smile and two thumbs up.

Spike tightened his hold around her and inhaled a deep breath, loving the mixture of her perfume and shampoo. She was perfect, and he was never letting her go.

x X x X x

It was late and the club was virtually empty. All that remained were the bouncers, some maintenance people, Oz and his band who were now packing up their vans, and Willow, Xander, and Anya talking by the stage. Buffy and Spike had nestled their way into a dark booth in the corner and were presently making out as if they'd never see each other again. They'd been there a little over an hour with zero interruptions and where normally they should feel tired, it seemed the longer they were together the more charged they would get.

Buffy was practically crawling into his lap as he licked and nipped at her neck. The sensations he was causing her were good... a little too good. Many times she had to remind herself that they were still out in public.

The both of them could feel someone approaching but didn't really move to acknowledge said person or even look up to see who it was.

"Ahem," Willow finally said from the side of the table.

"Mmm," *smack*. "Hi Willow, mmm," Buffy said between kisses.

Willow was smirking as she quirked an eyebrow and waited for her two friends to peel apart for a moment.

Buffy pulled away first and whispered something to Spike that resulted in him reluctantly pulling away from her to look up and smile at Willow with a goofy grin on his face.

"Hey, Red."

"What's up, Wil? You ready to go home?" Buffy asked as she started to get up out of Spikes lap to stand on her own, smoothing out her clothing as she did so.

"Actually I came to tell you guys that Xander, Anya, and I are gonna catch a ride with Oz. He offered but I was nervous about going alone so they're gonna tag along," she said looking so giddy. For a moment Buffy thought her friend might actually explode.

"That's awesome, Wil! I'm so excited for you!" she said playfully swatting at her friend.

"I know! I'm excited too. I can't believe this is all happening already. Buffy I love you!" she said throwing her arms around the blonde.

Buffy laughed and hugged the girl back with all her might. "I'm so happy for you."

Spike smiled for a second at Willow but his mind was flying. His attention was stuck at the thought of he and Buffy being alone for the rest of the night.

"Okay," Willow said as she and Buffy pulled apart. "I think they're waiting for me to get going so I better get over there before they leave without me."

"Okay. Call me tomorrow and tell me all about it!" Buffy called out after the red head.

Willow looked over her shoulder with a warm smile. She really loved having Buffy as a friend. She could quite possibly end up being one of the best friends she would ever have, and Willow loved the thought of it.

"I'm so happy for her," Buffy said as she turned back to Spike. The look on his face showed Buffy just exactly what he was thinking and it immediately made her knees weak.

He grabbed her by her hips and pulled her toward him, licking his lips as he put a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her down into an intoxicatingly passionate and heat filled kiss.

"Mmm," Buffy moaned into the kiss. "We should probably get going. They're starting to close things up around us," she said pulling him up from the booth he had been sitting in.

He pouted every time she stopped kissing him, and Buffy couldn't help but giggle and pull him into another kiss as she grabbed her bag and they slowly made their way back out to the car.

Every time Buffy thought they would actually make it into the car Spike would push her up against the wall and pin her entire body with his, making her shudder as he devoured her. Their mouths broke apart again and Buffy tilted her head to expose her neck to Spikes exploring mouth, gasping at the feeling of his tongue on her skin.

Her eyes drifted shut as she reveled in the sensations he was causing. In that moment she couldn't think of ever letting another man touch her the way she let Spike touch her. After feeling the way he made her felt she highly doubted anyone could even compare. Not only with all of the physical pleasure he was giving her, but also with all of the kindness and encouragement he showed her. It made her feel so special and different than any other girl in the world. No one but Spike had ever made her feel that way.

She really truly wanted to be with this man... at all costs.

Suddenly an urge coursed through her and she shoved Spike away from her, causing him to give her a confused and hurt look until she pounced on him again, this time backing him into the side of his car while she fumbled with the door handle.

When Buffy got it open she shoved Spike down into the driver’s seat, climbing on top of him and pulling the door shut behind her. She had never been more appreciative of the dark tinted windows before now.

Soft moans and grunts echoed through the car as they heatedly pulled at each others clothing, needing to feel more of each other. She only had time to pull of his duster and unbutton his shirt the rest of the way, exposing his perfect chest as he pulled her halter up over her head, revealing that she had in fact not worn anything underneath it.

"Bloody perfect."

He ran his hands up and down her back as he latched his mouth onto one of her pert nipples, eliciting a surprised gasp from her and her head rolled back and her eyes closed with pure pleasure.

They had never been this intimate before and the pleasure that was coursing through her was proving to be too much for her to handle. She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him back by the hair, looking into his dark lust-filled eyes with her own.

"Take me home with you."

A smile made it's way to Spikes lips as she slowly crawled off of his lap but still leaned over to suck and nip at his neck and ear.

Bloody Fucking Hell Yes... Buffy...

Spike started the car with a roar. At this rate there was no way he was going to be able to wait an hour to get home so he planned on speeding the entire way. He needed her, and he needed her now.

"Buckle up, baby."

TBC

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Finally

Spike flew into the driveway and had to immediately slam on the breaks to keep from going strait through the garage door. He had barely gotten the car into park and the keys out of the ignition when he turned toward Buffy and she dove at him, the long drive finally getting to them at the realization that they were finally home.

Buffy pulled her mouth away from his, gasping for air but his immediately began to search for hers again. As the windows fogged up from all the heat radiating from them, Spikes passion and need for her was managing to turn her on even more than she ever thought possible.

"Buffy..." he breathed when he'd taken the chance to catch his breath. "Need you, kitten. Need to feel you..."

Buffy smiled as his lips traveled down her neck and her eyes slowly drifted closed.

This is really happening. I'm really gonna do this...

"Spike," she said with a swallow followed by a gasp. "Take me to your room... Now."

Spike didn't need to be told twice. In seconds he was shuffling himself out of the car. Attempting to keep himself as much a gentleman as possible, he started to make his way over to her side of the car to open her door for her, but she was already out, heels clicking as she met his wanting lips in front of the car. With their mouths once again seared together they made their way toward the front door.

"Mmm," Buffy mumbled into his mouth. "What about... mmm, your uncle? Won't he hear?"

Spike smiled into the kiss as he fumbled with the door. "Planning on being loud, luv?"

Buffy's face managed to turn redder than a tomato as she looked away from him. "That's not... I..."

"Just teasing you, pet," he said as she opened the door and stepped inside, holding his hand out to escort her into the foyer. "He's a heavy sleeper and his room's at the other end on the house. Surely he's in bed by now."

Buffy warily entered the house, still embarrassed by his earlier comment. She knew he didn't mean anything by it and that he didn't mean to embarrass her, and she honestly didn't know why she was so embarrassed. They both knew what was going to happen once they got upstairs anyway. Maybe it was just the reality of it all that was scaring her.

Spike closed the front door and tossed his keys down on a nearby table. Buffy suddenly seemed very nervous, and Spike hoped to god she wasn't having second thoughts on all of this. He couldn't handle a cold shower on a night like this. Not after all that had happened between them already.

She wouldn't look at him though, only at the floor and the wall. It hurt him in a strange yet familiar way. After all, they hadn't even done anything yet and she already wouldn't look at him. That wasn't a good sign.

"Buffy," he said as he looked at her with his head slightly tilted.

His voice had been so deep and rumbly... so sexy it made Buffy's knees go weak and she suddenly found her embarrassment fluttering away as she looked at him.

"Come 'ere," he said holding a hand out to her.

She slowly looked up at him and found herself floating to him as she looked into those dark eyes of his. It amazed her how his eyes could change to match his mood. She trembled with anticipation. Never in her life had she been so entranced by someone. He definitely had his hold on her.

When she came to a stop mere centimeters away from him she started to panic at what might be going through his mind.

He's not changing his mind now, is he? Oh please don't be having second thoughts...

"Buffy," he said pushing a piece of air out of her eyes and behind her ear. "Luv, if you don't want to do this we can stop... go upstairs an' just watch a movie or something..."

Guh! Sexy and considerate. Why didn't I meet this man years ago?

Spike was getting worried when she didn't respond right away. He was kicking himself for making that joke about her being loud. Or maybe it wasn't the joke... maybe she just realized what a mistake she was about to make.

Buffy could tell he was getting worried. She liked the fact that they had only known each other for a short time, yet they’d gotten to know each other well enough to know his facial expressions and his body language to know exactly what was going through his mind.

Just when he looked like he was going to slump over and start that adorable pouting of his, she flashed a sexy smile and bit her lip, stepped closer and put her hands on his chest, feeling around and smiling in approval.

"So are you gonna take me upstairs and undress me now or are we just gonna stand here and ask questions all night..."

Spikes face burst into a smile as he curled his tongue behind his teeth in a way that made Buffy wonder just exactly how many simple things there were about him that he could make look like the sexiest damn thing she'd ever seen. She suspected there were many.

She pushed him backwards up the stairs as he fumbled to get his duster off as they kissed each other into another sexual frenzy.

Buffy had never been more excited than when they finally entered his room and closed the door behind them. Things had been more on the soft and gentle side the entire way up the stairs, but as soon as that lock clicked shut on the door the mood changed back from soft and gentle to heated and desperate.

Their mouths rarely parted as they tugged at each others clothing.

Buffy had begun to unbutton his shirt but quickly grew frustrated and before she realized what she was doing, ripped it open sending buttons flying everywhere.

Spike smirked and grabbed her by the ass, lifting her and pinning her against the door. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his lean hips as she ran her fingers across his chiseled muscles. He smiled mid kiss as he once again pulled her halter up over her head, throwing in on the floor off to the side. He managed to lift her slightly higher as he kissed down her neck to her chest and latched himself onto a pert nipple.

Buffy gasped and inhaled sharply as she let her head fall back against the door and ran her hands through his hair.

He pulled her away from the door and brought her over to the side of the bed, gently setting her down as he kneeled on the floor in front of her, kissing open mouthed kisses down her taught stomach.

Buffy was amazed at how good she felt. She was drunk with lust and just thinking about what they were about to do was making her breathe heavier, and she soon followed up with a loud moan. "I can't believe we're doing this..." she breathed as she let her head fall back on the bed.

Spike wasn't too sure what she meant by that, she was after all the one to urge them upstairs. Once again he was wondering whether or not she would regret all this in the morning.

He stopped kissing her more a moment and just let his thoughts wander. Buffy noticed he had stopped what e was doing to her and he could see from the look on his face that once again something was bothering him. She also knew that he was probably worrying about whether or not she would up and run out as soon as it was over, but that wasn't her plan at all.

Deciding it would be best if she showed him that she really did want him, she grabbed him and tugged him up onto the bed, then spun them around and straddled his hips.

He was clearly taken by surprise but was still concerned. "You still have time to back out if you want," he said in a serious yet breathless tone. "I won't take offense."

Buffy smiled and replied by leaning down to lick and nip at his nipple and imitate the open mouthed kisses he had been placing down her chest. She loved the way he was built. Riley was too bulky. Whenever he was on top of her she felt almost claustrophobic. She was so small and he was so lunky... Spike felt perfect to her. He was a perfectly chiseled abdomen and she loved the way she could see his hips. They were so deliciously exposed by his low hanging pants. His arms were muscular but not to the point where it looked fake... like Riley.

Buffy was brought out of her trance when Spike let out a pleased growl at the way her thigh rubbed against his straining erection. She smiled to herself as she continued to lick and kiss down his stomach following the form of his musculature down to the button of his jeans. She quickly unbuttoned his jeans and barely lowered the zipper before he sprung out of his pants and nearly slapped Buffy in the face.

Her eyes went wide. He was huge! She had always heard about men having bigger penis' but Riley never seemed big, and he was a big guy. Suddenly Buffy wasn't too sure if she could do this.

Spike began to sit up. "Buffy, luv, you don't have to do this..."

"No," she said pushing him back down. "I want to..."

She took a deep breath and licked her lips and slowly bent forward and licked from the base all the way up, swirling her tongue around the head when she finally reached it.

Spike hips bucked and Buffy smiled a little to herself knowing that what she was doing was working. Slowly she put her mouth over the head of his cock and lowered her head down as far as she could for the first time. She surprised herself with how much she was actually enjoying this. She closed her eyes as she moved her head up and down sucking in lightly and licking as she reached the tip again, her hands squeezing his thighs for emphasis.

"Buffy," Spike choked out as his fingers tangled in her hair.

She acknowledged him by opening her eyes and looking at him with her lust filled gaze, and he nearly lost it.

Suddenly he growled and sat up, grabbed her shoulders, pulling her tiny body into his lap. She squeaked in surprise when he flipped them over and began following the ministrations she'd done to him minutes earlier.

"Spike..." she breathed heavily as she arched up to meet his lips and tongue and Spike couldn't help but moan when her thigh once again rubbed against his stiff cock. "Spike please..."

Her mewls and whimpers were driving him crazy. He wanted nothing more than to make this girl see stars once they were done.

He began to unzip her tight leather pants and slide them down her thighs and Buffy felt her heart rate speed up. They were really gonna do this. She felt him slide a finger under her black thong and into her wet folds. She immediately bucked and Spike smiled to himself as he held her hips down.

He bent forward and finished pulling her underwear down with his teeth. It was by far the sexiest thing she'd ever seen, but it was then that she realized exactly what he was about to do.

She panicked. "Uh- what are you doing? You don't have to do that... please..."

"Don't have to what?" he practically purred. "This?" he asked as he quickly darted his tongue out to swiftly lick up her folds.

She bucked again, this time with a loud squeak of surprise. "I-I've n-never..."

This caught Spike's attention. "What did you say?"
Buffy's face was red hot with embarrassment. "No one's ever done that for me before."

Spike felt bad, but wasn't exactly surprised. Riley definitely struck him as the selfish type. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked carefully.

Buffy didn't know what to say.

Yes... but... god no!

"I'm just embarrassed. I wasn't expecting that at all. I'm probably all gross and..."

Spike was excited. He could be her first for this... no matter what happened she would always always remember him. "Let me give it to you, kitten. If you decide you don't like it then I'll stop."

Buffy blushed but slowly nodded, terrified of what was to come, but excited by the way he made her feel.

Spike loved it. This was new territory for her and he planned on making it memorable.

He situated himself on the floor between her legs and pulled her pants and underwear all the way off, then draped her legs over his shoulders, sliding her bottom closer to him as he did so. He took a deep breath and leaned forward, placing a long lazy lick up the center of her sex, moaning as he did so.

Buffy's eyes couldn't help but flutter shut at all of the pleasure he was giving her. She had always wanted to experience this and for the first time in her life she was happy that it wasn't Riley giving it to her.

"Spike..." she breathed.

He increased the pressure of his tongue on her clit, loving the way she was breathing his name as she trembled beneath his mouth.

She shuddered at all of the overpowering sensations he was causing. Never in her life had she experienced this kind of pleasure.

Spike stuck his tongue deeper and had to hold her hips still from all of bucking she was doing. "Spike..." her voice pitched as her hand went to the back of his head. With that he curled his tongue and flicked her clit with his finger. That alone set her off into a world of orgasmic bliss.

All at once it seemed the stars burst in front of Buffy's eyes as her body twitched and shuddered uncontrollably as she let out a cry of pleasure completely in his name.

Spike continued to lick up whatever juices flowed from her, and smiled to himself at his triumph.

"That... was... oh my god," Buffy said, still lying flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling as her chest heaved and glistened with sweat. She was pretty sure she was still seeing stars.

Spike smirked as he crawled cat-like up her body to lay flat on top of her, his raging hard on still rubbing against her thigh.

"No fair," she breathed as she brought her eyes down to meet his. "You didn't get to finish but I did..."

"Well I was going to stop half way through so I could fuck your pretty little brains out," he chuckled. "But since it was your first I wanted to do it right and proper."

She smirked back. "I don't think 'proper' is exactly the right word."

"Did you like it?" he asked as he placed lazy kisses on her collarbone.

Buffy smiled, still reveling in the feeling of it. "I did, and I like that you were the one to give it to me."

He quirked a brow. "Is that right?"

She chuckled. "Oh my god I almost pee'd my pants the first time I saw you. I kept telling myself no but I wanted you so bad. From the very beginning..."

Spike smiled, that weird feeling coursing through him again. "The feeling was mutual, pet. 'Cept I didn't tell myself no. Hell, I made you my bloody conquest."

Buffy smiled sweetly at him, not really knowing what to say to him, but after a few moments her sweet smile turned saucy and she began to run her thigh along his cock, loving the way his eyes drifted closed with a smile.

Suddenly regaining her strength she flipped them over so she was straddling him and instinctively his hands went strait to her hips.

"What was that you said about fucking my brains out?" she asked sweetly.

"I'm gonna..." he started, wagging his eyebrows but suddenly his face fell and he paled.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

Spike threw his head back in frustration. "I don't have any condoms. Wasn't exactly planning on-"

Buffy shook her head and smiled. "No worries. I'm on the pill," she said as she lowered herself slowly down on him, not wanting to wait any longer.

Spikes eyes rolled to the back of his head.

Bloody fucking hell... yes! I love this girl...

"You're bloody amazing, kitten," he choked out as her heat surrounded him, searing him.

Buffy threw her head back as she stopped to let herself adjust to his size.

Definitely way bigger than Riley...

He hissed in pleasure when she was finally able to go all the way down on him.

"So bloody tight... Buffy..."

Buffy continued to rise and fall on his cock as she adjusted and quickly got into a rhythm that was already fixing to send her over the edge.

Spike could already feel her inner walls fluttering around him. He wanted so badly to make her cum again but he was sure that if she got any tighter he would pop right away.

"Spike..." she gasped as he began to thrust upward.
Her head rolled over her shoulders as she came to rest her eyes on his. He had a facial expression of pure bliss.

"Spike..." she panted again as she felt herself start to spasm.

Spike opened his eyes to meet hers once again to look strait into her eyes. "Come on, kitten. Cum for me... please..."

That was all it took. Just hearing him call her kitten while looking at her with those dark, lust filled eyes was all she needed to really throw her over the edge.

Her world exploded around her and all she could see was Spike, everywhere.

As soon as he could feel her walls tighten around him he let himself go with a roar.

Neither of them had ever felt anything like it.
Spike was amazed. He'd never cum so hard or so easily for a girl before. With Buffy she barely had to do anything and he was a goner.

Buffy didn't know how she put up with Riley for so long. He was awful! Or maybe Spike was just amazing... She suspected it was both.

Finally she slumped forward to lay on his chest. The two of them were breathing so rapidly, not really able to say anything comprehendible.

After a few moments Buffy finally lifted her head to look at him.

He smiled back at her. "That was even better than I even thought it could be, luv, and I knew it would be pretty damn good."

"I had no idea I could feel this good..."

"Captain Cardboard not quite up to par, eh?"

"After this with you, I'm convinced he has no idea what he'd doing and I was just too dumb to realize it. He's the only other person I've ever..."

"Really?" Spike asked sounding rather surprised.

"Yeah..." Buffy said suddenly sounding annoyed. "What do you think I am, some kind of hoe?!"

Spike chuckled and stayed calm. He'd meant that more as a compliment. For someone who didn't have a lot of experience, she was good. "You're a minx... you seduced me."

Buffy calmed as her smile quickly returned. "Yeah well thats 'cause you're you. Before you came along I never even thought about leaving Riley."

This warmed Spike's heart. He had never been the guy to be able to pull the girl to him before. Usually the girl was being pulled away from him by some poof... like Riley.

Buffy noted his slight change of demeanor and grew a little sad.

"Spike, are you okay? You look a little... do you want me to go?"

Spikes eyebrows furrowed for a moment when he heard her say that. He never intended to make her feel like he wanted her to leave. Immediately his lips curled into a sneer and he shook his head. "Don't even think about it, kitten. I'm not finished with you yet."

Buffy smiled and squirmed. "Why, what ever are you going to do to me?"

TBC

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: The Morning After

Buffy woke the next morning, still in that hazy fog where you could either fall right back asleep or wake up. A limbo of sorts. Buffy loved that part of the morning because it was where you could make yourself most comfortable, stretch, and... feel another warm body snuggled up behind you...

She hadn't even opened her eyes yet when she stretched and a huge smile broke out onto her face as the events of the night before flashed through her mind.

"What are you so smiley about, luv?"

His voice startled Buffy a bit. He'd been so quiet she didn't even realize he was already awake. She smiled brighter and opened her eyes, rolling over to the sexiest sight she'd ever seen.

He was just laying there, propped up on one elbow looking down on her with a sparkle in his amazingly blue eyes. He was bare chested and the blanket hung deliciously low on his hips which were, by the way, pressed up against her own.

"Hi," she said with the most young and innocent tone of voice she could possibly manage.

Spike couldn't hide his happiness. The most genuine and satisfied smile made its way from him as he basked in the glory that was Buffy.

"Mornin' sweets," he said as he carefully and warily leaned down for a kiss. He felt a million times more confident when Buffy raised her head to meet his good morning kiss. It was sweet and was intended to be short at first, but as soon as the two of them were together again both of their desires called for one anothers and the kiss quickly turned heated and passionate.

Buffy wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and he rolled so that he was partially on top of her, one hand grazing the side of her breast as he felt down her body.

"Mmm... This is nice," she cooed as soon as their lips peeled apart. "I've never gotten to do this before. It feels so good," she said propping herself up on a pillow, holding the sheet modestly up to her chest.

Spike just smiled and shook his head at her. "You were so bloody amazing, pet. I could dance with you forever and never tire of it."

Buffy's face fell a little but she tried not to let it show.

Was that all we were doing? Dancing?

As if reading her mind Spike quickly added, "I really like you, Buffy. I've never fallen so quickly for anyone as I have you."

She perked up a little. "You've fallen for me?"

"Well. yeah. Thought I made that pretty clear last night..."

"So," she started fidgeting with her hands. "Last night... you weren't just... jumping at the opportunity?"

Spike moved back a little and Buffy could have sworn she saw a tinge of hurt in his eyes at what she'd said. "Buffy, I know I can be an asshole... but I wouldn't do that to you. I've seen too many people get hurt that way. Myself included."

Buffy was genuinely surprised. Never in her life had she met a man as considerate, amazing, and sexy as this man she was laying with right now. But, then again, maybe she had but she had never bothered to give them the time of day because of what her friends would have thought... It was then that Buffy realized what a complete and utter bitch she really was. She hadn't cared about the thoughts or feelings of anyone outside of her little "fab four" group. Yet, Spike, Willow, Xander, and even Oz and even Anya were so cool to her and treated her as if she had been their friend the entire time. And something told her they weren't doing it for the popularity.

"Spike," she said fidgeting with her hands again. "I know I'm not a completely horrible person, but I'm not a good person either." She looked up at him with sad eyes. "Why do you like me?"

Spike could not only see the sadness on her face, but he could feel it too. She wasn't a bad person at all. She just got wrapped up in the typical high school drama and cliques. His heart immediately went out to her that day he walked in on her argument she'd had on the phone with the great poof. She wasn't the bad one... she was the one trying to keep up with the bad ones because she believed they were her only friends. That wasn't her at all.

Finally he responded.

"I see the real you."

x X x X x

"...Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up, I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call baby night and day
I'm fed up, I'm tired of waitin' on you..."

Buffy bounced through her room singing and dancing as she cleaned things up and got rid of a few things she no longer needed... including some pictures of Riley.

All she wanted to think about was Spike, and the way he made her feel. It was crazy, but she really wanted everything in her life to change. She was determined to be nicer to everyone and she didn't want to be seen as the big bad bitch anymore.

She picked up one final picture of Riley and stared at it for a moment. How was she gonna tell him? How was she going to tell her boyfriend of two years that she fell in love with the punk rocker across the street over spring break?

He wouldn't walk off without some sort of argument and blow out that was for sure. Mostly she was afraid of Spike finding out that they're not actually broken up yet. Hell, maybe he'd get a kick out of it. But somehow Buffy doubted that.

A sound coming from behind her startled Buffy and she dropped the picture into the old shoebox with the others and turned to investigate. She looked toward her window but didn't see anything. Her mom wasn't home yet so she knew it couldn't have been her.

The sound came again and this time Buffy was sure it came from right outside her bedroom window. Composing herself for a moment she began to walk slowly toward the window. It was getting dark and it had been raining pretty hard all day, so it was kind of hard to see outside without getting too close to the window. Buffy mentally slapped herself for getting so nervous about whatever was making the noise.

It's probably some poor soggy squirrel or something...

Suddenly a dark figure appeared in the frame of the window and Buffy let out a short scream as she jumped backwards and covered her mouth with her hands. Then the platinum blonde hair came into view as it moved closer toward her.

Buffy slumped and let out a grunt of frustration.

"You know," came his incredibly sexy voice. "This is exactly why your mum shouldn't leave you alone at night."

Buffy made a face. "Well before you moved into town I never had creepy men circle my house and climb a tree to get into my room," she said with a pointed look.

Spike wasn't sure what to say back to her. He was only concerned for her. Being alone in a house at night was never safe for a young girl, no matter where they live. Criminals do travel.

"I just worry about you sometimes. Shouldn't be alone is all."

Buffy was smitten. He was so incredibly sexy when he looked at her with his head slightly tilted and that hint of a smirk on his face. And just the knowledge that he actually cared about her and her safety... well, it made her like him more and more...

She looked at him softly and reached a hand out to grab the lapel of his duster. "Well maybe I should have someone here to protect me," she said as she tugged him closer to her. "Especially on those nights when mom pulls her all-nighters and I'm here all by myself..." Her lips grazed his, sending a buzz through them both. "All... night... long..."

Spike let out a sound that was similar to a purr and a growl as his lips devoured hers and his eyes drifted shut. As his hands moved up slowly from her hips to graze the sides of her breasts she dropped the box she was holding and her arms linked around behind his neck.

The passion in them was only growing as they continued to kiss, floating backwards toward the bed. When he lowered her down on the bed and slipped his hand up under her shirt she began to giggle.

"We can't," she said slightly pushing him. "My mom's gonna be home any minute and she always comes strait upstairs to talk to me."
Spike groaned... and pouted. "We can be qui-"

"Buffy!" a voice came from downstairs, followed by the sound of the front door closing. "Are you home, sweetie?"

"Say no!" Spike whispered.

"Yeah mom!" she yelled, then she turned back toward Spike. "Say no? No, mom, I'm not home," she laughed and Spike made a face. "You doofus. She's gonna come up here anyway. Speaking of which... you should probably go before she comes up here."

Spike glared at her and quickly stuck a hand down her sweatpants.

Buffy's eyes immediately fell shut and her mouth dropped open as she elicited a small moan.

Spike could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. He quickly stopped his ministrations and kissed her on the forehead as he leapt up and darted for the window. "Bye, luv," he said with a wink.

Buffy sat up, face flushed and pouting as she watched him fly out the window just in time for her mother to walk in.

"Hi hunny. I brought home chinese..."

x X x X x

"So I noticed you've been hanging with a different crowd lately," Joyce said as she popped some lo mein in her mouth. "Why's that?"

"Um, I don't know. Wanted a change of scenery I guess."

Joyce tried to hide her smirk. "I know you've been seeing William a lot lately. Are you two..."

"We're not together... I don't think..." Buffy blushed and smiled a bit. "I broke up with Riley though."

Well, almost...

Her mother gave her a somewhat surprised look. "Well I hadn't realized it was going that far already..."

"Its not... far. Mom, it's just..." Buffy wasn't exactly sure what to say. "I just needed a change."

"Oh honey I think it's great! That Willow is a real sweeheart, a good person to be a friend. And William..."

Buffy blushed.

Joyce smiled at her daughters reaction to his name. "Well I think he's wonderful. He's been nothing but kind and polite since the day he and his uncle moved in."

"I know, mom."
"You know, maybe we should have him over for dinner some night."

"Sure. Just... not yet," Buffy said pushing around her food. "I want to be sure of things first."

"Alright. You'll let me know."

Buffy smiled and nodded, relieved that her mother liked her new friends and potential boyfriend. Now all that was left was actually going through with dumping Riley and telling Cordy and Angel.

"Look, I'm really tired. I didn't sleep well last night so I wanna get all curled up in bed and try to catch up on some shut eye," she said standing up. "Thanks for dinner, mom," she said giving her mother a short hug. "Goodnight."

"Alright. Goodnight sweetie," Joyce said looking at her daughter suspiciously but still with a smile on her face.

Buffy walked slowly and sleepily up the stairs but as soon as she entered her room she shut the door and began to hurry around and change her clothes.

Out of her closet she grabbed a short black rain coat and quickly slipped it on, flipping the hood up over her head.

x X x X x

Spike was sitting in his room in the dark watching television trying to get his mind off of the gorgeous girl across the street. Any time he thought of her it was only torture for himself.

When he heard a noise outside his window he thought nothing of it, but when he heard it a second time even louder he shut his television off and listened closely. A figure appeared in his window and he jumped slightly until he realized who it was.

Pulling my own tricks on me, eh...

"Buffy," he said quietly to himself as he moved to open the window and help her inside. "Christ, Buffy you scared the bleedin' hell outta-"

Buffy immediately cut him off by jumping into his arms and devouring his lips.

She was soaked, the jacket apparently not doing a very good job at covering her up. "Mmm, Buf-" he could barely get a word out when she would lunge herself at him again. "Luv, you're soaked," he said pushing her off of him.

Buffy pouted. "But I want smoochies. Don't you want smoochies?"

He growled as he pulled her tight against his chest. "Of course I do, luv. I just simply need to get you out of these soaking wet..." he said as he untied the rain jacket and pushed it backwards off her shoulders.

She had a sultry smile on her face.

"You're not wearing..." he looked up at her with stunned eyes.

"Are you done talking?" she said with a smirk as she stepped forward and began unbuttoning his already tight jeans.

"Minx."

"Are you disappointed?" she asked as she nipped his neck.

He growled again as he lifted her up and dropped her down on his desk, pulling her forward by the backs of her knees until her pelvis was aligned perfectly with his.

She pulled him out of his pants and used her heels to pull his jeans the rest of the way down to his ankles, then linked her own behind him.

"That wasn't very nice of you earlier. Get me all hot and bothered right before I have to go and sit with my mother," she said flipping her hair out of her eyes. "You should be punished," she said squinting her eyes slightly.

Spike smirked and jerked himself forward, driving into her with a force that made her cry out in both pain and pleasure. "I don't think so, luv," he said panting. "I do the punishing," he said with another thrust.

"Spike..." she breathed as she grabbed onto his shoulders for balance.

Another thrust.

Her head fell back and she put her hands down on the desk slightly behind her so she could lean back with her back arched. Her mouth fell open, but no noise came out.

Spikes eyes were screwed shut as he continued to pump in and out of her dripping wet core. His entire body tingled.

It was as if they needed this so badly that neither one of them could manage anything else at the moment except for each other. The only thing that could be heard was the sounds of the rainfall outside along with some thunder, and the slapping of their bodies.

Spike squeezed his eyes shut even tighter as he could feel his orgasm approaching fast.

"Buffy..."

She let out a muffled sound of response but was unable to form any real words.

"Love... Buffy, pet... love you," he rambled as he got closer and closer.

Buffy heard the words and knew that he probably didn't realize what he was saying, but, hearing those words spoken with her name was new, and it made her heart jump.

Her eyes snapped open and looked at his face, part of her hoping he would look at her and say it again, but she knew it was too much to expect. It was too soon.

Her body was convulsing uncontrollably with pleasure. She couldn't take her eyes off of this man who kept uttering her name under his breath with each and every push.

When he opened his eyes and looked into hers she felt something there. Some mutual longing to belong another. Spike felt it too. He closed his eyes again and rested his head on her shoulder as his thrusts quickened.

Buffy brought her hand up and put in on the back of his head in a comforting gesture. Then that feeling flooded through her, her breath hitched, and the stars burst in front of her eyes.

He followed mere seconds later and from that point on the only thing that could be heard was the falling rain.

He looked at her.

She looked at him.

The feeling was mutual.

I'm in love with you...

TBC

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: That Glowy Kind of Feeling

"So what's the deal with you guys, are you official yet?" the red head asked excitedly between sips of her slushy.

Buffy beamed. "Yeah. He finally asked me last night." She couldn't hide her smiles if she tried to. It was just too perfect to her. New amazing friends... new amazing boyfriend... maybe she could actually enjoy the last few months of her high school years as a normal girl instead of that bitch you see in all the teen scene movies.

Willow smiled. "So are you doing anything tonight? I thought maybe we could hang out or something..."

Buffy looked up from her iced cappuccino. "I totally would, but I'm going to the drive in with Spike." As the sentence got closer to his name the smile on her face grew bigger and bigger.

Willow smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Look at you, you're all glowy. I knew you liked him but, wow. I didn't realize you really REALLY liked him."

"Wil, I don't even know where it came from. One day I'm happy with my popular athlete stud boyfriend and everything else in my life and then boom... new neighbor. A new, incredibly sexy and generous and considerate neighbor who treats me amazing and... I don't know where it came from either. All of a sudden I just realized I was falling in love with him."

"You love him? Aw Buffy!" Willow squealed. "Did you tell him?"

"No not yet. I was really tempted to last night but then, I don't know. I froze up I guess. It's so early in this relationship and I really want it to work, you know? I don't want to rush things any more than we already have. Besides," she leaned closer. "I still haven't talked to Riley. He still thinks we're together."

Willows face fell a little, remembering what Spike had said about seeing Riley with another girl. She wanted to tell her so badly, but she knew it was really none of her business.

"I can't wait 'til Riley gets home, just so I can get it over with." She played with her straw a little and the smile started to come back. "What I feel for Spike... I've never felt that for anyone. Not even Riley, and we've been together for over two years. It excites me."

"I'm so jealous. I want that kind of sparkage with Oz, but I'm afraid to come on too strong."

"That's right! What kind of friend am I?? I forgot to ask you how your night with Oz went. Okay, I want details..."

Willow blushed. "Oh, Buffy I had so much fun. He took me to get ice cream and we were with Xander and Anya for a while but then we dropped them off, and Oz took me to my house but then he asked me if it would be alright if I stayed out with him for a little longer just to talk. It was the sweetest thing ever. Oh! And then, my head started to hurt because my hair was up so tight, so I pulled the clip out and let it all fall and I noticed him staring at me... and he was smiling."

Buffy cooed. "Willow thats so cute. You've so got that cat in the bag."

"It didn't go any further than that. We talked for a little while and we exchanged phone numbers. But I think it's headed somewhere. Or at least I hope it is. I want glowy feelings."

"You'll get 'em. I told you once before and I'll tell you again... No one can resist the charm that is Willow."

x X x X x

"Hey mom?" Buffy bounced through the house looking for her mother. "Mommy?" Buffy play-whined as she looked in the dining room and made her way over to the kitchen. "Mom?" she said poking her head in, smiling brightly when she saw her mother.

"Yeah honey?" Joyce laughed. She hadn't heard Buffy call her 'mommy' for years.

"What are you doin' today?" she asked as she sat down at the island where her mother had been making some orange juice.

"Since when do you care to ask me what my plans for the day are?" she asked pointedly but with a smirk.

"I always care," she pouted. "Sometimes I just forget to ask. Ooh juice," she said picking up a small glass of fresh squeezed juice.

Joyce laughed. "You're in a good mood today..."

Buffy smiled and bounced a little in her seat. "I'm going to the drive-in with Spike later. I haven't been to the drive-in since dad used to take me."

"Well that sounds like fun."

"Yeah, but that was sorta what I wanted to talk to you about," she said giving her mother a look. "Can we use your car? We could open the back hatch and put the back seats down and then lay down. It would be so much more comfortable than a regular car."

"Comfortable..."

"Please?? Spike said he's definitely leave you his car if you wanted to go anywhere..."

Joyce laughed. "No, thats quite alright. I won't need Spikes car. You can take my Jeep I'm not going anywhere tonight."

Buffy leaped up off her stool and wrapped her mother in a tight hug. "Thanks, mom! I'll put gas in it when I'm done!"

Joyce couldn't help but shake her head and laugh. Was this happy, friendly girl really her daughter? As she watched Buffy begin to walk out of the kitchen she stopped her. "Buffy..."

"Yeah?" she said spinning to face her mom again.

"Spikes driving, right?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled. "Yeah."

"Just making sure," she laughed.

x X x X x

"We should order a pizza and bring it with us to eat during the movie," Buffy said as she stripped off her clothes, revealing the hot pink bikini beneath.

"We could do that," he said as he floated around the pool, not really hearing anything she was saying but stuck in a trance as he watched her strip down.

Bloody perfect...

"Spike are you even listening to me?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest, blocking his view.

"No," he chuckled, his adams apple bouncing as he finally looked up at her face. "I'm watching you undress, pet. Can you blame me?"

Buffy couldn't help but smile. He was a perv, but he was a sweet perv. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked as he moved toward her. The lust in his eyes was making her knees go weak.

"That..." she said trying to hide her smile as he got closer to her.

He smirked and grabbed hold of her hips, encouraging her to step down into the pool.

"I don’t know, luv. Only works with you," he said as she moved forward into the pool. She immediately wrapped her arms and legs around him.

He groaned as she sweetly and innocently rubbed against his groin.

"Minx," he breathed into the hot afternoon air.

Buffy smiled and leaned back, resting the upper half of her body on the concrete next to the pool, but her legs remained wrapped around his waist.

"My mom said it's fine if we take her jeep to the drive in. It'll be more comfortable if we fold down the back seats and open the hatch. Then we can lay down."

Spike wagged his eyebrows.

Buffy gave him a look. "Shame on you and your naughty mind."

"You love my naughty mind..."

Buffy smiled and paused as she looked at him. He said the word love again. She knew it didn't mean anything, but hearing that word come out of his mouth made goose bumps form all over her body. In a good way.

"I do," she smiled.

He smiled back and leaned forward to kiss right around her belly button. It was a sweet gesture by him.

All of the feelings coursing through her were overwhelming for this man. She couldn't believe how fast she fell for him. At this very moment she was fairly certain she would do anything for him.

He began to move upward with his kisses on her stomach until they were right below her breasts, making her squirm and giggle.

Spike loved the way she sounded when she giggled, and he couldn't help but smile into his kisses as he went along.

"Oh, have I found a ticklish spot, pet?" he teased.

Buffy stopped squirming. "No," she lied.

"Oh really?" he said matter of factly, and in seconds he was tickling her uncontrollably again until she was kicking and screaming with laughter.

"Stop! Stop!" she laughed as she weakly tried pushing him away. "Spike please..." She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"But you said you weren't ticklish..." he said innocently, a look he could only pull off with Buffy.

Buffy opened her eyes wide and sort of half-snarled at him. "Spike!" she yelled as she launched herself at him, curling her legs back around his waist and wrapping her arms around him, causing him to fall backwards into the water, taking her with him.

Under the water Spike finally stopped tickling and instead subtly began to untie the bottoms of her bikini. When they resurfaced Spike immediately began to kiss her so he wouldn't have to hear her object.

Little did he know, she never planned on objecting.

He pulled the bottoms away from her body and felt her shiver as the cold water touched all of her most intimate parts. Spike began to untie his swim trunks as Buffy pulled her mouth away and looked around.

"You're not afraid someone will see?" she asked breathlessly.

"The fence is high enough and ol' Rupes won't be home for a while," he said as he pulled himself out of his swim trunks. He grabbed her hips and lifted her with ease so that she was perfectly level with him.

Buffy trembled with anticipation. She was always so nervous with him. Everything was still so new and exciting with him, and she was afraid she wouldn't be good enough for him.

He gave her ass a light squeeze as he lined up the head of his cock with her opening and slowly pushed forward, filling her almost immediately. It was a new sensation for her, she had never had sex in water before.

Her mouth dropped open when he finally filled her completely. She still wasn't used to his size being so perfect for her. He was big, but not uncomfortably big.

His jaw clenched as he filled her to the hilt. He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and opened his eyes to look at her.

She was looking strait back at him, a glimmer in her eyes that he hadn't seen before and suddenly this huge wave of emotion swept over him. He was in love with this girl, there was no doubt in his mind he was crazy about her.

He began to thrust into her slowly as he brought one hand up out of the water to push a strand of hair out of her eyes. Before he brought his hand back down he swept it across her cheek, grabbing the back of her head and pulling her face forward for a kiss in the process. It was soft and gentle at first, but it quickly became more heated and passionate. The more passionate the kiss got the quicker and harder his thrusts became. Buffy had to pull her mouth away from his for a gasp of air, and immediately needed to bite down on his shoulder to hide her cry of pleasure.

Her climax had her shuddering uncontrollably as the heat of her orgasm hit the cold of the splashing water. Her inner walls squeezed him tighter than he would have imagined possible, sending him right over the edge before she could even calm down.

Spike kept thrusting all the way through his orgasm, and kept thrusting slower and slower until he could fully come down from his high. He grabbed her ass and squeezed hard as he pressed himself as far inside her as he could possibly get, eliciting a squeak from her. He just smiled and curled his tongue behind his teeth.

"You're amazing, pet. What would I do without you?"

"Wither and die as a lonely horny bastard," she laughed as she unwrapped her ankles from behind him and let her feet finally touch the bottom of the pool.

Spike smiled at her and reached over to grab the bottoms to her suit just in time before they got sucked into the filter. "So pizza for the drive-in, huh?" he said handing the bottoms to her as she so generously tucked him back into his trunks and tied them up for him.

"Yep!" she said taking the bottoms from him as he fell back to float around the pool. "How do you feel about Hawaiian pizza?"

x X x X x

"Just try a piece. Come on," Buffy said waving a slice of pizza in front of his face. "You'll be pleasantly surprised, I promise."

"Why on earth would someone want to put pineapple on a pizza?"

"It’s good!" she whined. "Try it."

"No."

"You ate all the plain cheese slices and I know you're still hungry. Just try it." She shifted so that she was sitting back on her heels as he lay on his side next to her, half empty pizza box in the center. "Come on," she said waving the slice in front of him again. "There’s ham on it too, you'll like it."

He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out. "Fine. Just one bite, though," and with that he closed his eyes and opened his mouth wide like a little kid.
Buffy giggled as she chewed a bite she had just taken. She positioned the piece in front of his mouth and moved it in until it looked like it would be a decent amount. "Okay, bite..."

Spike bit down and made a face at her as he chewed. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Not bad, right?" she smiled and took another bite.

He made a face like he was still trying to decide. When he finally swallowed he just simply looked up at her.

"What?" she laughed.

"Come here," he said seductively.

Buffy swallowed her bite of pizza and leaned in closer to him.

He snaked a hand into her hair and pulled her face down to his to give her a breathtaking kiss. Their tongues battled and Buffy couldn't help but nip at his lips just a little. When the kiss was over and Buffy slowly started to open her eyes Spike quickly snatched the slice of pizza out of her hand and he quickly stuffed the entire thing into his mouth.

"Hey!" Buffy said smacking his arm. "That was mean!"

"Love hurts, baby," he said chewing the remainder of Buffy's slice of pizza.

He did it again... He said the 'L' word. Well, I suppose it didn’t... ugh he said it!

"Be quiet you... you pizza stealer! I told you you'd like it."

"It's alright," he said shifting a little. "Still don't understand why someone would put pineapple on a bloody pizza. It's just not natural."

"Shush, you. The movie's starting," she said moving the box out of the way and snuggling up next to him.

"Kiss me first," he said matter of factly.

Buffy smiled and turned to plant kisses all over his face, followed by one final one on the lips.


A few cars away a guy sat in a truck watching the two of them. He rudely and nosily took a few pictures with his camera phone and quickly started to text away.


Back in the jeep Buffy already started rustling around to find the bucket of popcorn she had Spike buy earlier.
Spike chuckled. "For someone so tiny you sure do eat a lot."

Buffy paused mid-chew. "I do, don't I? I'm totally a pig!" she said with a worried expression. "You don't think I'm totally gross now, do you?"

Spike chuckled again. "No, I like it. Dru would pick at food like a bleedin' bird. Barely ever ate. It bothered me a bit. I like a woman that can eat," he said leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. "And that's you, sweets."

Buffy smiled and popped more popcorn into her mouth.

He is so incredibly perfect...

x X x X x

"So my mom won't be home friday night. She's staying late at the gallery to get ready for some big showing," Buffy said as she turned toward him from the passengers side of the car as they drove home. "Do you want to spend the night with me? At my house?"

"Do you even have to ask?" he said wagging his eyebrows at her.

She made a face at him. He was so adorably sweet. Most people who would look at him would immediately just see the bad boy exterior and never see the sweet man he was when he wanted to be.

You're lucky, Buf. He's your second chance to be the real you... Don't let that go.

Buffy subtly slipped her hand into his and they rode home together, their new found feelings for each other exchanged in the silence.

TBC

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Party's Over

Friday morning couldn't have come any slower for Buffy and Spike. Spike had never spent the night over at Buffy's house and to he it felt like something special, to be welcomed in the bed of a woman... He knew he was a bit of a sentimental, but at least he was man enough to admit it.

Mrs. Summers wouldn't be leaving until closer to seven so he didn't want to go over too soon and have her suspect. Still, it was only about two and he didn't want to wait that long to see Buffy, so he was absolutely thrilled when she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him as he was washing his car.

"Mmm," she purred into the crook of his neck. "You know what a turn-on it is to watch you wash your car shirtless?"

Spike arched a brow and turned his head to look down at her. "Why don't you show me, pet?"

Buffy giggled and let go of him so he could turn and face her, swooping in with a kiss as he did so.

"I missed you," she said looking up at him with big green eyes.

"Missed you too, pet," he said setting down the hose he had been holding. "You want to go grab a bite to eat or something? I'm feeling a bit peckish."

"I was just gonna say the same thing!" she said with pure pep. "Do you wanna walk so your car can dry or would you rather drive?"

"No we can drive. Hop on in my sweets," he said grabbing his T-shirt from the porch and pulling it over his head.

As soon as Spike slid into the drivers seat and shut the door Buffy leaned over and grabbed his face, showering him with little kisses all at once.

Spike chuckled. "Missed me that much, eh?"

"Always."

Spike was simply amazed.

Tell her. Tell her you love her...

"Buffy, I..."

Wait, what if you scare her off? She might not be ready to hear that from you. Don't tell her. Not yet... It's too soon, you git.

"What?" she said looking at him, waiting for whatever it was he had to say.

He blinked. "Where do you want to go for lunch?" he finally spat out.

Buffy found herself slightly disappointed. By the tone of his voice she was sure he was about to say something a little more personal. "Doesn't matter," she said pulling her sunglasses off the top of her head and sliding them on. "Whatever you're hungry for."

"Alright." Spike felt like a git. He sounded like a git.

He was a git.

He saw the disappointment on her face. She had been expecting a little more than 'what do you want to eat.' He wanted to tell her, he did, but he was afraid of what she would think of him after. Would she feel the same? Or would she shut herself off from him?

Spike sighed in defeat of himself and backed the car out of the driveway.

x X x X x

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked. "You seem upset about something..."

"Hm? Oh, no. Just thinking about some stuff is all," he said looking at her. "Got some stuff I need to suss out."

Buffy didn't really like the tone of his voice. "Oh," was all she said and she looked down to hide the worry in her eyes, but Spike had already seen it.

"No, Buffy," he sighed. "It's not like that. Promise."

She looked up at him again. "You're not getting sick of me already, are you? 'Cause I can stop doing whatever it is you don't like..."

He chuckled. "Don't you change a damn thing about you."

Buffy smiled a bit, glad he liked her for her, but something was bothering him, she knew it. All she wanted to do was make it better for him. "You know I would do anything for you," she said out of no where. "Anything you ever need, or want..." she said studying his face. "I'm yours."

Spikes heart fluttered. Maybe she felt the same way about him. Maybe he should tell her...

"Buffy, I-"

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that," she said reaching across the table and holding his hand. "And I want to prove it to you... tonight."

Tonight... I'll tell her tonight...

x X x X x

Buffy reached over from her spot in the passenger’s seat and started playing with the dials on the radio.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing?"

"Finding a good song," she replied matter-of-factly as various songs sounded with the turning of the dials.

Spike swatted at her hands a couple of times but she just giggled and waited for him to stop, and as soon as he would she would start again.

"You don't mess with a blokes presets," he said with a huff.

Buffy pulled something out of her purse and quickly hid it next to her leg so he wouldn't see. She shifted in her seat so her back was to the window and she was facing him.

He looked over at her and arched a brow before turning his eyes back on the road.

Suddenly she pulled the object from behind her leg and quickly started snapping pictures of him.

"What are you doing now?" he chuckled as he looked at her again, sexy smile on his features.

She smiled from behind the camera. "I don't have any pictures of you, I need some pictures to remember all the stuff we do together," she finished as she snapped a few more pictures.

Spike purposely put on his trademark smirk for most of the pictures. Every once in a while he would glance over at her, finally showing off those crystalline eyes of his. Those were Buffy's favorites.

They had pulled up to a red light and Spike quickly grabbed her and pulled her into his lap. Buffy giggled and held the camera out in front of them and snapped a couple of quick pictures.

Spikes head was in the crook of her neck, and she rested her head on top of his as they took pictures. As the light turned green again Buffy slid back into her own seat.

"I want a copy of those," Spike said to her. "I want pictures of you too."

"Well lets get them developed right now!" she said with excitement.

Spike chuckled. "Alright."

"It's a digital so I can print them right away," she said looking through the memory card with a smile on her face. "Aw, I love this one of us," she giggled again.

Spike looked over at her and smiled. She amazed him. He couldn't understand how she did it... made him feel so utterly complete. And happy. Truly happy for the first time since his parents died. He loved her, there was no doubt in his mind. He thought he had loved Drusilla, but what he was feeling for Buffy, his golden goddess, Drusilla didn't even come close to compare. And on top of everything, this girl proved to be one of the most unselfish people he had ever met. Knowing this girl truely made him believe the phrase, 'don't judge a book by its cover.'

I'm telling her tonight...

I'm telling her I love her tonight.

x X x X x

Moans and sounds of sheets rustling was all that could be heard from outside the room.

Buffy's moans and gasps of pleasure elicited purrs of satisfaction from Spike.

She was on her back, and he positioned between her legs. A white sheet was draped over them, resting just above Spikes buttocks.

"Buffy..."

"Mmm, ungh... guhh...."

"God, Buffy... I love you so much. I love you..."

She looked up at him with a smile. "Love you more..." she breathed as he eyes squeezed shut and her head fell back.

His heart leapt into his throat, he couldn't believe she'd said it. He couldn't tear his eyes off her.

She screamed as her orgasm hit and she wrapped her arms tighter around him, bringing his head down closer to her. She brought his ear down next to her mouth. "I love you... My William. I love you..."

His eyes welled up. He wanted to weep with joy. He never would have thought she could feel the same way.

He pulsed within her as his orgasm hit hard and his weight fell upon her. She stroked his head and cradled him in her arms, kissing the side of his face and forehead.

"I love you, Spike. I love you. Don't leave me, baby. I love you..."

x X x X x

Spike awoke on the couch in his living room as the alarm on his cell phone sounded. He blinked a few times and groggily sat up and rubbed his face with both hands, silencing the phone seconds later.

"Why does that always happen when you're having a good dream..." he said out loud to himself.

He looked over at the clock on the wall. It was quarter to six. Buffy and her mom were probably just eating dinner, and then she would leave for work and Buffy would be expecting him.

He pinched his t-shirt and pulled it up to his nose. He should take a shower before going over there. He still smelled like car soap and wax.

He stretched as he stood and immediately a flood of energy coursed through him. Tonight was, hopefully, going to be a big night. He headed up to his room and turned the shower on, stripping his clothes in the process. As he took off his chains and rings he had a thought.

Grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his waist he went into his uncles room and looked around. When he spotted the box he was looking for he went over to it and opened it up. What he was looking for was right there on top. He took it out and studied it. It looked the same as the day she took it off. It belonged to his mother, and now he wanted to give it to Buffy. A small silver ring and an emerald cut in the shape of a heart mounted in the center. It was simple, nothing more than decorative jewelry his mother used to wear, but from the moment he met Buffy the green of her eyes always reminded him of it.

Spike squeezed the ring slightly in the palm of his hand, closed the box it had been in, and left the room on his way back to the shower.

x X x X x

Buffy had never eaten dinner faster in her entire life. When her mom looked at her funny she simply used the excuse that she was just so hungry she couldn't wait to eat. She couldn't wait for her mom to leave for work that night. She wanted to shower and straighten up her room, and get everything perfect for when Spike would arrive.

In the shower she made sure to shave every inch of her body, knowing Spike would just run his hands over her with a smile of satisfaction. The thought of it alone made her shiver.

When she got out she made a point to leave her hair down as well, he loved to play with her hair. His Goldilocks he liked to call her. She loved the pet names he'd given her. Goldilocks, luv, pet, sweets, kitten... the last one was her favorite. If he never called her by her real name for the rest of her life she wouldn't mind being called kitten. It made her feel sexy. She wanted to be sexy for him, wanted all of his friends to be jealous of him if they weren’t already.

She wanted him to be happy.

She loved him, and she was going to tell him that tonight.

From her closet she grabbed a white satin skirt, comfortable and easy access she knew would drive him nuts. Following that was a silky black tank top lined in lace, and a light white sweater that matched the skirt. The whole outfit was comfortable but it was something Spike could rip off of her in seconds if that was what he wanted to do. Tonight was going to be all about him.

Just as she was finishing up her makeup she heard the front door open and close, and the sound of a jacket being removed. She smiled and giggled as she finished applying some flavored lip gloss. She screwed the top back on and tossed it down on her vanity as her bedroom door creaked open.

"Perfect timing! I was just..." she trailed off when she turned around and what she saw was the last thing she expected to see.

"Riley..."

x X x X x

Spike was nervous. He'd never been so nervous about seeing a girl before he met Buffy. She did that to him, though. As he slipped on his shirt and buckled his belt a wide giddy smile broke out across his face. When he told her how he felt, he didn't care whether or not she said it back... he was just so excited for her to know. And he had confidence that she wasn't going to be exactly mad about it.

He took a deep breath and began to slick his hair back, spreading a thin layer of gel in it as he did so. He glanced down at his dresser and saw the picture of he and Buffy that they had taken earlier that day. He smiled again, picked up the ring that was sitting next to it and slipped it into his pocket.

x X x X x

"Wha... I mean... Y-You're home early..." she stuttered, completely shocked to see him standing here.

It was plain on his face that he was not happy. He nodded his head and started to walk slowly around the room, surveying things. He was obviously irritated. "Got a call about some stuff while I was away," he said simply, not looking at her.

Buffy was nervous. He looked like he was a bomb ready to explode. It was just a matter of time before the timer went off.

"Riley, I-"

"Did you fuck him?" he asked abruptly, looking her strait in the eye.

She blinked and took a deep breath, glaring at him. "Riley, I meant to have a talk with you about some stuff..."

He shook his head and continued pacing across her bedroom getting closer to her, pushing her slowly toward the windows and away from the door.

"Riley," she said, clearly afraid of him. "We're not good together anymore." She was shaking. She hadn't exactly practiced this speech yet.

"Yeah? Bull shit!" he yelled suddenly, turning and looking her strait in the eyes again. Veins were sticking out of his neck and his face was beat red. His eyes were full of rage.

Buffy took another step back.

"You are MINE, Buffy. I don't care whether I was gone or not, you shouldn't have gone out with him."

Buffy's blood began to boil. "Okay, first of all, Riley, I am not a possession of yours that you pick up and throw around whenever you want. Secondly, I told you we were taking a break from each other which meant I was going to go and be with and hang out with anyone I wanted. You can't control me like this, Riley!" she screamed, tears were beginning to form behind her eyes.

He clenched his jaw and stormed toward her, grabbing her by her upper arms and shaking her, causing her to squeak in shock.

"You want to run around like some slut? Is that what you want Buffy? Huh? I don't think so! YOU. ARE. MINE! And you're going to listen to me!" he shook her with every other word.

x X x X x

Spike walked up the front steps of Buffy's front porch and let himself inside the front door. The first thing he noticed was a guys varsity jacket draped over the railing. He walked over to it and checked the name on the front.

Then he heard the yelling.

x X x X x

"Riley stop!" Buffy screamed as she struggled to get lose as he knocked her down and pinned her to the floor. "You're hurting me!"

"You didn't have the decency to at least call me up and let me know? You had to make me look like an idiot didn't you, Buffy? A friend had to call me and fucking tell me!"

"What? I-"

"I didn't believe him at first, but then when he showed me this!" he yelled, grabbing his cell phone and flipping it open, revealing a picture of her and Spike kissing... at the drive in.

Suddenly it hit Buffy. He would go after Spike too.

Oh god, Spike...

Buffy had tears streaming down her face at this point. "He is non of your business," she said through clenched teeth.

"Oh really?" he shook her. "Another guy moving in on MY girlfriend feels an awful lot like my business..." he let go of the phone and raised his hand to hit her.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

He's gone crazy... I can't believe I dated this asshole and all along this was bottled up inside of him... he's capable of this? He should be locked up!

Suddenly Riley let go of Buffy's arms as he was jerked backwards and tossed over the bed toward the door.

Buffy's eyes shot open.

"You know, mate, if you're so against cheating on your partner, maybe you shouldn't be doing it too," he said stepping toward him.

"Spike," Buffy choked out but he didn't look at her.

Riley stood up and faced him. "Shut the fuck up. You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about!" he shouted.

"Don't I?" he said making a face to look like he was thinking hard on something. "So that wasn't you I saw that night at the Bronze practically fucking the busty bint in the washroom hall? While Buffy sat alone at a table waiting for you to come back..."

Riley lunged at him, seething. "You shut u-"

Spike wound up and punched him hard across the face, knocking him back into the hall as he staggered toward the steps.

Buffy sat there, tears staining her cheeks staring at the floor.

He cheated on me...?

"You're no where near good enough for her, you freak," Riley spat at him. "Buffy needs a real man..." he started backing down the stairs with Spike mere centimeters in front of him, glaring at him.

Spike chuckled. "A real man... Is that what all those steroids made you? She couldn't wait for you to go on vacation so she could finally be rid of you..."

Riley fumed and punched Spike strait across the jaw. His head spun a bit until he could catch his balance again, then he punched Riley in the gut and kneed him in the face as he doubled over and reached out for him again.

"RILEY!" Buffy screamed as she came flying down the stairs. "Get out of here!"

He shook his head angrily, wiping blood away from his nose. "But Buffy..."

"I said get out! I don't ever want to look at you again! Just leave or I'll call the cops and have you arrested!"

"Buf-"

Spike opened the front door, tired of looking at the ponce and punched him so hard it split his knuckles open. Riley went flying out onto the porch, falling right on his ass as Buffy threw his jacket in his face.

"Don't ever come around me or Spike ever again, Riley, or I'll have your ass locked up," she seethed.

Riley just sat there, looking bruised and dumbfounded as Buffy slammed the door on him, locking him out of her home, and her life.

Buffy was out of breath, and her face was soaked with tears. "What you said earlier," her voice broke the silence. "About him cheating... was that true?" she asked, her eyes pleading with him.

Spike nodded but wouldn't look at her. He was too angry to.

A lump welled up in her throat again and she nodded to herself. "And you knew about it?" she asked in nothing more than a whisper.

Normally Spike would have felt terrible about her reaction, but he was so angry with her right now that he couldn't really seem to care. It only made it hurt more.

"How long have you known about it?" she asked.

He shrugged. "A month, maybe more."

She shook her head and turned away from him, forcing back more tears. She refused to cry over him now.

"I've got an idea," Spike said suddenly. "How about we talk about this," he said gesturing back and forth between the two of them. "You lied to me..."

Buffy looked away from him and tried to keep her composure. "I... I-"

"You what? You're sorry? Buffy... do you have any idea how much hearing all that up there hurt me?"

She shook her head again.

"What? Did you want to test the bloody waters for a bit? Take ol' Spike for a test drive and run back to captain cardboard over there when he got back and you decided he was better?!" he ended with a yell.

Buffy flinched.

"No," she breathed with a sob. "I couldn't wait to be rid of him! I wanted to be with you!"

"Bollocks! If you wanted it that bad you would have done something other than lie to me! You could have told me the truth! We could have been more careful! You were too afraid to do anything about it!" Spike was running out of breath, the fight taking a lot out of him. He couldn't believe this was how his perfect night was playing out. This wasn't what was supposed to happen.

He looked at her. She was finally letting the tears stream down her face as she looked at him. He had a hard time believing those tears were for him.

He shook his head and walked around her to open the door. "You did what was easiest for you. You broke my heart tonight, Buffy," he mumbled.

Buffy's eyes widened as he opened the door to leave. "Spike, no! Wait! Please!"

"No, I need to be away from you right now."

"Spike!" she choked between sobs. "Please don't go, I love you!"

Spike stopped in the doorway. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.

Why did she have to say that now? Like this?

His back was to her as he sighed.

Buffy was hopeful, she wouldn't be able to stand it if he left.

Spike closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

She doesn't mean it... she's just trying to get you to stay...

Buffy, standing at the bottom of her stairs, watched as he shook his head and stepped forward on to the porch, closing the door behind him.

All she could do was drop to her knees and bury her face in her hands.

TBC

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Tears Fall

Spike slammed the door to his bedroom so hard he cracked the doorframe. He turned and punched the wall with his already bloodied hand, causing a shooting pain to go from his hand up through his arm and into his shoulder. He didn't care, he wanted it to hurt. Anything to take away the emotional hurt he felt.
When he pulled his hand away from the wall some paint chips and small bits of drywall fell to the floor, leaving cracks and a hole in the wall next to the door.

Good, Spike... take it out on the poor defenseless wall... soddin' idiot.

He chuckled as he stared at his hand. but couldn't stop the single tear that rolled down his cheek.

She hurt him. She lied to him. God knows whether or not she would have actually admitted it to him later on or if she would have kept it a big secret.

Or she would have kicked him to the curb and laughed it all off.

He felt betrayed, and so angry that he needed to get away from her.

This entire time he thought she was his, when really he was sharing. Unknowingly sharing her with a guy who had owned her heart for over two years. What chance did he really have at the end of that? She would have chosen the other guy. Everybody always chooses the other guy.

Spike angrily stuffed his hands in his pockets to pull out his cigarettes but instead he felt the small ring he had planned to give to Buffy, and a wave of sickness washed through him. He pulled it out of his pocket and studied it for a moment, then drew back his arm ready to throw it across the room, but before he could do so he stopped, let out a sigh and lightly tossed it on top of his dresser.

He kicked off his boots and shrugged off his duster, kicking and throwing them to the side as he whipped his curtains closed. He didn't want to risk even getting a glimpse of her.

He slumped over to the side of his bed and sat down on the edge, opening his bedside table drawer and pulling out a flask he had hidden, taking a long swig.


x X x X x


Buffy had to practically drag herself up the stairs and back into her room.

He left.

He'd heard her say it, finally admit how she felt, when her emotions were open for anything he had to give her, and he didn't say a word back to her. He just left.

She didn't know why she had expected anything different. She knew. In the back of her mind, somewhere, she knew this would end badly. She lied to him for her own benefit. She wanted him so badly, she was willing to lie to him, hurt him in the long run just so she could have him early, all to herself... with no one around to judge her.

As she entered her room she picked up a small table lamp that had gotten knocked over during the scuffle and carefully put it back where it belonged.

She felt numb.

She never would have thought it could hurt this much, to lose someone she really barely knew. Whether she truly knew him or not, though, she definitely knew she had never had more fun, or felt more at peace in her entire life than when she was with him.

She knew this would have to happen somehow, knew that Riley would overreact and get angry, but she never realized that was how Spike would react. In fact, she had been more worried about Riley and her friends finding out and their reactions that she never really thought about how Spike would feel to know he had been lied to, even if it did benefit him a little.

Buffy felt sick to her stomach as she thought about how selfish that one little white lie had been, and although she thought Spike had taken it too personally, she would do it all over again differently and take the rejection and ridicule from her so called friends just so long as she could be with him in the end.

She walked over to her window and put her hand up to close the curtains and she looked hopefully over at the house across the street, only to be disappointed when his blinds were closed so she couldn't see inside. Her lip quivered and she sniffled as she weakly closed her blinds and turned toward her bed.

She half-heartedly crawled in, not bothering to change out of her tattered clothes, curled up on her side, and let the tears fall.


x X x X x


A few days passed, and Buffy sat on her neatly made bed, knees curled up under her chin as she looked miserably at her red headed friend.

Willow looked with sympathy at her. "You really told him that? You told him you love him?"

Buffy nodded sadly. "I said it, I asked him not to leave... he stopped and sighed, shook his head, and left," she said trying to keep herself from crying again. She'd played that moment over and over in her head so many times that it was impossible for her to forget. "I haven't seen or heard from him since then."

"I don't even know what to say, Buffy..."

Buffy shook her head. "I messed up bad, Wil. The more I think about it the worse I feel. I was so selfish..."

"Yeah but doesn't it make you feel a little... I don't know... justified? Because Riley was cheating on you first? It's like retaliation."

She shook her head again. "Just because he was doing it first doesn't make what I did okay. I lowered myself to the standard of someone who would do that when I promised myself I never would," she said taking a deep shaky breath. "Besides, thats not really what this is about. Riley may have gotten what he deserved but Spike certainly didn't. I never should have lied to him..."

Willow nodded and looked sadly over at the window. "School starts up again tomorrow. What are you gonna do?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know..." she said as she began to shake with tears. "Right now I'm just trying to keep from dying..."

As she started to cry she fell forward and laid her head in Willow's lap, and sobbed. Willow merely brushed her friends hair out of her face and tried to comfort her with her embrace.


x X x X x


Spike lay flat on his back with this limbs sprawled out around him on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Xander sat at the desk chair, slightly spinning as he tossed a ball up in the air and caught it continuously. "That's harsh, man," he said with a shake of his head. "She really said it though? She said 'I love you'?"

Spike sort of half-snorted. "Yeah. Lot of good that does me now. She made me think I had a bloody chance with her when really I was just her spring fling. Something to kick around with while hubby's on vacation."

"Come on," Xander said making a face. "You don't really believe that do you? I mean if she said she loved you..."

He had already thought about it. There had definitely been a connection between them, one that he couldn't see her faking. And she had said the words to him, though he still had a hard time believing that she truly felt that way. Even still, it was more then he'd ever gotten out of any other relationship with a woman... he just didn't understand why she had tried to keep it a secret that she and captain cardboard were still together. Why was it that no one was ever completely honest with him? "Don't you think that if she had really meant it she might have tried a little harder to keep me from walking away? She could have tried callin' or something... but she hasn't."

Xander thought about it for a moment. "Sure, she probably could have made a little more of an effort, but maybe she was afraid to? You do have a bit of a temper... did you scare her?"

"No!" he said defensively, then thought about it for a second. "Maybe... But I was angry, I'd just been in a fight..."

"All I'm sayin' is... maybe she's hurting too."

Spike looking thoughtfully at his friend, then laid back and stared back up at his bedroom ceiling and sighed.


x X x X x


"She's really hurting, Xander. I feel really bad for her," Willow said, giving her best friend a look.

"Well so is he, Wil. Have you ever dealt with a heartbroken Spike? It's not fun. It's all yelling and 'bloody this' and 'bloody that.'"

"It's just," she sighed. "Buffy never wanted to hurt him, and he thinks thats what she wanted to do. She was just trying to be a little kinder to Riley by not breaking up with him while he was on vacation... she just grew impatient when it came to Spike."

Xander snorted. "Nicer to the guy who's been cheating on her?"

"She didn't know he was cheating! She found out during the fight, remember?" she said looking sad again.

Xander thought on it for a moment. "Then are you sure she's not more sad that her boyfriend was cheating on her? Instead of the Spike thing, I mean?"

Willow shook her head. "She's ready to be shunned by the entire school just so long as she can get Spike back. She could care less about what Riley's been doing behind her back."

"So... let's get these crazy kids back together then," he said with a bit of pep.

Willow looked skeptical. "You really think we'll be able to do that without inadvertantly causing more damage?"

Xander shrugged. "Couldn't hurt to try. Buffy misses Spike, Spike misses Buffy... How couldn't it work?"

"Because they hurt each other..."

"Yeah but..." Xander looked down at her. "If Buffy really does love him..."

Willow contemplated it for a minute. It was clear that Buffy wanted Spike back. She'd begged him to stay that night, though, and he wouldn't. So the question was... "Do you think Spike's willing to forgive and forget?"

Xander looked at her again. "The guy's had his heart broken by the only three girls he's ever really had feelings for. I think he'll forgive, but he certainly won't forget."

"What do you mean? A-about the other girls, I mean. Did he tell you what happened with them?"

He shrugged again. "Not in great detail but enough to understand the guy's pain."

Willow looked at him to elaborate.

"Some broad over in England named Cicy or Cecily or something' had been his major crush for years. When he finally gathered up the courage to tell her how he felt she'd told him he was beneath her, and basically humiliated him in front of a crowd of his classmates and friends. Then psycho Dru came along, basically made him what he is now and as soon as he couldn't be there to wait on her hand and foot she gave him the boot, making him feel like their entire relationship had been meaningless. And you know Spike... when he loves... he loves with everything he's got."

"He never really seemed upset about Dru, though, u-unless he just didn't let it show around us..."

"Oh he was. I got to hear all the venting. Besides, the night Dru dropped him was the night Buffy crawled through his bedroom window for the first time, so I'm pretty sure he got a little side tracked."

Willow was staring off into her own little world, no doubt playing everything out in her head. "And Spike fell for Buffy hard and fast..."

Xander tilted his head to the side a little. "Well I'm pretty sure Spike was crushin' on her before he and Dru were over. He just never acted on it until he got the boot."

"You don't think Buffy was just his rebound girl, do you?" she asked nervously.

Xander shook his head vehemently, much to Willow's relief. "No, I don't."

Willow nodded. "Well then our mission is clear... We gotta get those two back together."


x X x X x


"Buffy, honey?" Joyce said softly as she lightly knocked on Buffy's door, letting herself in without further invitation. "You have any homework you need to get done before school tomorrow?"

Buffy sat on her bed, leaning slightly to her side and back against the headboard, her knees curled up and a pillow clutched to her chest. "No, mom. It's all done."

"Now thats a first," her mother joked as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

Buffy gave her a weak forced smile. "Yeah, haven't been doing too much the last few days so I did it to try and pass the time."

Joyce was surprised. "Well that's good."

Buffy looked down at her fidgeting hands. "Yeah, I guess."

This earned a curious look from her mother, and she had leaned over and grabbed what Buffy had been hiding in her lap. She smiled when she saw that it was a picture of her daughter and the neighbor across the street. "He's the reason you've been acting so differently lately, isn't he?" she smiled.

Buffy took a deep breath and nodded, trying to hide any signs of her heartache, but no one knew her better than her mother and Joyce tilted her head and looked at her.

"Something happen between you two?" she asked as she moved a little closer.

Tears formed in Buffy's eyes as she looked back up at her mother. "I screwed up, mom."

Joyce's heart sank at the look in her daughters eyes. "Oh, Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy shook her head and wiped away a single fallen tear. "I lied," she sniffled. "I hadn't actually broken up with Riley yet and I led him to believe that I did. I was going to tell him, I was... but... I got scared."

Joyce rubbed her arm. "Honey, why did you tell everyone you and Riley weren't together when you really were?"

Buffy shrugged. "Looking back on it I know it was selfish of me. It just hurts. When Spike found out the truth he got so mad. I never wanted to hurt him," she sobbed as the tears began to fall. "I never meant for him to get hurt."

Joyce pulled her daughter into a hug and rubbed her back, kissing the top of her head. "Does Riley know about all of this?" she asked softly.

Buffy nodded and sniffled. "We're completely over now and everyone knows. But Spike... he's just so mad at me..."

"Well honey, no offense but he has every right to be."

She nodded again. "I know, I know. It just-" she sniffled and lifted her head. "I know it was fast, but... I fell in love with him, mom. I did, and now, knowing that I hurt him... I feel so horrible."

"Well..." Joyce didn't really know what to say. "I can't really speak for him, Buffy, but you're just gonna have to give him time to forgive you."

Buffy nodded, wiping away remaining tears and taking a deep breath to steady herself. "I know. I just wish we could skip that part and be all happy again."

Joyce stroked her only daughters’ cheek, hating to see her in pain. "Hey, you know what?"

Buffy wiped her nose. "What?"

"I've got a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's in the freezer. What do you say? Wanna have a mother-daughter pig-out night? I'll even order pizza..."

Buffy chuckled a little through her tears. "Oh yes please!" she said as she followed her mother up off the bed. "Hey mom?"

"Yeah, honey?" she said turning in the doorway.

Buffy walked up to her and wrapped her in a tight hug. "Thanks."


x X x X x


Spike walked in his front door and threw his keys down on the table, tired after exhausting himself at the gym all afternoon.

"Oh good, you're home," Rupert said setting down his newspaper and removing his glasses. "There's, um,-"

"Uncle Rupert, I'm sorry but I really don't feel well, I'm going upstairs, gotta get some kip," he said without even looking at his uncle, bounding up the steps two at a time.

"But-" Rupert sighed, giving up immediately.

His bloody problem then...

Spike rounded the corner of the upstairs hall toward his room, and pushed the door open. He stopped in his tracks.


x X x X x


Buffy trudged up the stairs, tired and totally not looking forward to school the next morning. She would have to see Riley again, and deal with Cordelia's snobbery. She didn't even want to think about what could happen if Spike and Riley bumped shoulders in the hallway.

With a sigh she changed into some shorts and walked over to her window. The guilt washed through her again as she paused to look across the street at his window. His shades were still shut and it hurt more to know that he didn't even want to chance looking at her.

Her bottom lip quivered but she willed herself not to cry again, taking a deep breath and shutting her curtains.

Tomorrow they'd have to at least see each other. Whether or not he would speak to her would be determined once they made eye contact.

Tomorrow.

She made her way over to the side of her bed and turned off the light, crawling in and pulling the covers up to her chin, nothing but the moonlight illuminating her saddened features as she tried to drift off to sleep.


x X x X x


Spike stood in the doorway of his bedroom, staring wide eyed at the sight in front of him. He couldn't even wrap his mind around what was happening in that moment. All he knew what that things were about to get interesting.

He sucked a deep breath in and blinked. "What are you doing here?"

The figure he was speaking to turned around to face him fully, and leered at him. "My Spike... Is that any way to treat an old lover?"

He shook his head and looked down at his feet, hoping that this wasn't really happening. When he looked up again reality smacked him in the face.

He couldn't help but chuckle. "'Ello, Dru."


TBC

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: An Unexpected Guest

"Did you miss me, my pet?" she smiled as she moved toward him.

"What are you doin’ 'ere, Dru? Come to rub it in some more? Play a round of kick the Spike?" he asked angrily as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Her face fell into a pout and she stopped about half way across the room. "Don't be cross with me," she said standing up strait. "My mum and da are in Los Angeles. I thought I'd come for a visit."

Spike closed his eyes in frustration. "I have class tomorrow, Dru. I can't go out. Why wouldn't you call first or something?" he asked kicking his shoes off.

"The stars sang of a surprise," she said quietly.

Spike quirked a brow and shook his head.

Bint's crazier than before...

"Dru, we're not together anymore... what, do you think we're gonna be best friends now?"

She made a noise similar to a sad or hurt animal as she crept closer to him. "I wanted to see you," she said taking his hand in hers. "I've missed you my sweet," she said giving him her version of the puppy dog eyes. "We need time together."

"You dumped ME, Dru!"

She pouted more. "Don't you want me anymore?" she asked as she backed away from him.

He sighed and shook his head as he looked up as if asking god for help. "It's not that simple anymore, pet."

"Why?!" she demanded suddenly, startling Spike. She walked over to his dresser and grabbed something off the top, coming back toward him quickly holding it up. "Because of her?" she said pointing to the picture of Buffy.

Spike clenched his jaw and looked away. "No, Dru. It's because you called me up on the phone one day and dumped me with no explanation at all. I got over it... got over us."

"Yeah," she chuckled. "With little miss sunshine."

He just glared at her. "It's late. I really think you sh-"

"Your uncle was kind enough to invite me to stay in the guest bedroom for a few nights until my parents are done with their business here," she leered.

Spike huffed. "Of course."

"Don't be upset dearie," she said throwing the picture behind her, letting it fall to the ground. "Things are going to be much better from now on."

He raised an eyebrow as she walked past him, not afraid to run her hand across his chest as she did so.

Spike didn't know what to think. He told himself he was over her but having her here, wanting him back and spending the week here... it almost made him feel like maybe all of this was happening for a reason.

"Oh, by the way, Spike..." Dru said as she popped her head back into the room. "Don't forget to wake me for school tomorrow morning..."

He spun around to face her. "What?"

"I'm going to class with you in the morning, pet," she smiled. "Goodnight."

Spike shook his head as she left him alone again. "This should be interesting..."

He glanced down toward the floor and saw the picture sitting face up on the carpet, Buffy's smile dominating the picture. Spike's sadness returned, along with the anger, and he kicked the picture under the bed.


x X x X x


Buffy felt like she could barely breathe as she walked through the large double doors into the high school. Her chest was tight and her face already flushed. Immediately people started looking at her as they whispered to their friends.

Great... everybody already knows...

As she turned the corner and saw her locker in sight she sighed in relief that Cordy wasn't standing there waiting for her like she normally would be. She took a deep breath and picked up the pace as she got closer to it, and in her hurry to get there she ran flat into someone, causing her to drop her books all across the floor.

She sighed as she bent down to retrieve her things. "I'm really sorry, my head isn't where it should be today..."

The person she ran into bent down and helped her pick one notebook up. "It's alright, dearie," the dark haired woman said. She picked up the notebook and noticed it had a picture taped inside its front cover, staring at it a few moments longer than Buffy thought she should have.

"Thanks," Buffy said as she went to take the notebook from the girl who held on to it a second longer while looking Buffy right in the eye.

Something about the girl was all too familiar to Buffy, but she couldn't figure out what it was about her, or where she had seen her before.

Dru leered at the blonde as she finally let go of the notebook. "He is a delicious one, yeah?" she said referring to the picture as Buffy promptly closed the notebook, hiding the picture once again.

Buffy eyed her up and down as the two of them stood simultaneously, never taking their eyes off each other. "Yeah," Buffy said as she eyes the woman suspiciously. "Thanks again."

Dru raised her nose in the air a bit as she burst into a grin and began to walk away.


Spike watched from afar as the two women exchanged looks and eyed each other up. From the way Buffy reacted he suspected that she hadn't recognized Dru. He found himself relieved because although he'd never seen Buffy get violent, he suspected she wouldn't hold back if Dru tried to start something, which she no doubtedly would... sooner or later.

He couldn't help but let out a shaky sigh as Buffy opened her notebook and looked at the picture again. It would be so easy if he could just run up to her and take her in his arms, make Dru go home and go back to the way things had been a week ago.

Was it really only a week? All of this happened in a matter of a week? It just doesn't seem right...

Unfortunately things weren’t that easy, and right now he really had no idea how to make things between them okay again.


Buffy closed her notebook and took another deep breath and headed for her locker once again, still earning curious looks and hearing hushed conversations about different versions of what happened over break.

It was when she finally reached her locker and began to wind the combination that she heard the voice that made her cringe.

"Buffy..." came the all too familiar voice. Instead of responding she simply turned and looked at the girl, only to be met by an outburst of disgust. "What the hell, Buffy?!" she exclaimed once she reached the locker. "Why haven't you answered any of my phone calls? And who mangled Riley's face?!"

Buffy took a deep breath. "Cordelia, I didn't really feel like talking much these past few weeks."

Aaaaaand here we go...

"Ugh, Buffy... you hooked up with another guy over break and then let said guy beat the crap out of Riley... your boyfriend!! And for what? Defending you?!"

"Excuse me, but were you there? You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," she said getting angrier by the second.

"What is your childhood drama?! You are RUINING yourself! I can't BELIEVE you did what you did!"

Oh that is IT!

"Cordelia has it ever dawned on you that maybe I don't WANT to be your carbon copy?!"

A small crowd was starting to gather as the two most popular girls in school began yelling at each other.

Cordelia scoffed. "Like you could be! I don't run around screwing dirty foreign bleach jobs as my vacation past time!"

Buffy couldn't resist a small laugh. "If that's all that makes you turn your back on your friends then how about you have a little chat with Riley about what he's been doing! Or better yet, ask your boyfriend. I'm willing to put money down that Angel knows EXACTLY what Riley's been up to!"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Riley's been cheating on me for months, Cordelia... MONTHS! And with all the high-fiving and back slapping those two do, I'm betting Angel knew about it and never bothered to say anything. He could have warned me... What kind of a friend is that? And you! I do one thing you don't quite 'approve' of and you call me out in front of the entire school?" she said motioning to all of the people around them. "What kind of FUCKING friends are you?!"

Cordelia's mouth opened and closed a few times, making her resemble a fish. She was, for once, at a complete loss for words.

Buffy backed away and picked her things up, glaring at her supposed 'best friend' who was now looking at her with disgust. "What you did is still sick. You don't know anything about him! He's a FREAK!"

"He's a freak that allowed me to have some actual real fun for the first time since I've become friends with you," Buffy said softly.

"Well then you'll be happy to know that you're out. We are DONE with you!"

"Gee, you think?" she said as she opened her locker and grabbed her things, slamming it closed so hard it made everyone standing around her jump. "You know, Cordy, so many more people would like you if you would just treat everyone like what they are..."

"Losers?" she said raising her eyebrows and crossing her arms again.

"Human."

"Whatever," Cordy laughed. Xander and Willow pushed their way through the crowd of people and looked back and forth between the two girls. Cordy laughed when Buffy walked toward them. "Go on! Run off with your nice new loser friends. I'm sure they'll get you real far in life."

Buffy cast one more glare over her shoulder at the brunette, and along with Xander and Willow, walked through the crowd of gawking people and went on their way to their classes.


"Are you okay, Buffy?" Willow asked as they were out of earshot from all the on-lookers.

Buffy shook her head and her lip quivered. "No, Wil, I don't think I am..."

Willow gave Xander an apologetic look and he nodded in reassurance as Willow pulled Buffy into the girls bathroom and quickly wrapped her in a hug.

Buffy choked back a few sobs and hugged her friend tight, surprising Willow a bit. "I knew this would happen, I knew. What kind of person am I to have been one of those people for so long and not ever cared?"

"You're the better person, Buffy, and you know it. Don't let her bother you so much. Everybody likes you way better than her."

Buffy nodded and tried to convince herself of what her friend was saying as she tried to calm down. "The thing is... *sniffle* ... she was my best friend for so long... but now... she turned her back on me so quickly..."

Willow felt a pang go through her. She liked to think of herself as Buffy's new best friend, but imagining Xander doing something like what Cordy just did, it made her stomach turn at how hurtful it would be... how hurtful it is for Buffy.

"She'll realize what she did and regret it," Willow said softly, running her fingers through the tips of Buffy's hair. Her heart went out to the girl now more than ever.

The bell rang, sounding for all students to get to their classes. Buffy pulled away from Willow and wiped her eyes. "Thanks, Wil. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Willow merely smiled.

"I'll see you at lunch?" Buffy said hopefully. She had never actually eaten lunch with them at school before. She supposed now she didn't exactly have a choice.

"We'll save you a seat."


x X x X x


Buffy was more than anxious to get to lunch. All day she'd been receiving stares and hearing whispers with her name in it.

Could people be more nosey? Or rude? At least wait 'til I'm not looking right at you!

She was nervous as she made her way through the lunch line, grabbing little things along the way. She was afraid that if she'd eat too much she'd just puke it up as a result of her nerves.

She realized after Willow had left for her classes earlier that Spike usually ate lunch with them, and although she hadn't seen him yet today, she knew he was here. At first she thought about just ditching and telling Willow she couldn't handle all of the stress and 'thats her' looks, but after thinking about it through a good portion of her english class she decided that she would have to see him eventually... Why not make it today? Get it over with...

She did long to see his face again... his eyes, his hollowed cheekbones, the smell of cigarettes mixed with his cologne... she missed him.

Buffy handed the woman at the cash register the money for her lunch, grabbed her tray, and turned to look in the direction of her destination. Willow and Xander were just sitting down, Oz in tow... but no Spike... not yet.

She took a deep breath and began to make her way over to her new table, passing by her old one on the way. Riley was sitting there talking with Angel, both of whom paused to watch her walk by. Riley was wearing big black sunglasses, no doubtedly covering a nasty black eye, and he had a butterfly band aid over his nose. Although she couldn't see his eyes she could tell he was glaring at her.

He made her blood boil.

She felt better as soon as she was past the table and approaching Willow and Xander quickly. "Hey guys," she said setting her tray down next to Willow's.


x X x X x


Spike watched from a distance, once again, as Buffy set her tray down at his usual table.

Can't bloody well sit there now...

He leaned against the doorway as he waited for Dru to come out of the bathroom. He had wanted to see Buffy, he did, but not with Dru around. He was angry with her, yeah, but he didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was.

The door behind him opened and Drusilla walked out, a cocky smile on her face. She looked over Spikes shoulder to see what she suspected he was looking at and was confirmed when she saw the blonde sit down with the redhead and other boy she knew to be Spikes friends.

"Don't worry my sweet," she whispered to him, startling him a bit as she stepped around him and into the cafeteria. "The clouds are coming and you needn't worry about the sunshine anymore..."

Spike rolled his eyes as he followed her.

Crazy bint...

He lightly grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the lunch line. "You're not going over there..."

"Why not?" she cackled. "Afraid kitten's claws might scratch?"

"You're not gonna go over there and make her feel worse. I know you know about what went on with us, and I just don't want you around her okay? Stay here with me."

"Are you saying there may be something left between us that might make kitten feel bad?" she said with hope and malice in mind.

Spike pulled her into the line and looked at her. "Maybe... are you gonna stay away from her?"

She smiled and touched his face.


x X x X x


"Why are you guys still looking at me like that? I told you, I'm fine," Buffy said as she took a sip of her diet coke. Xander and Wil had been acting a little strange ever since she sat down. Like any little thing would cause her to break.

Xander was staring at something off behind her and Willow kept giving her worrisome glances. "There's just some stuff..." Willow began. "About Spike..."

The pain visibly flashed though Buffy's eyes at the mention of his name, but before Willow could finish what she was going to say Buffy caught a glimpse of platinum blonde hair out of the corner of her eye and she quickly looked over.

He sat down at a booth away from their table with a tray of food. Buffy felt a huge wave of disappointment that he didn't come sit at the table with the rest of the group.

He was avoiding her, she had no doubt in her mind. He didn't want to see her, and that made her feel even worse. She carefully looked over at him again, and for the first time in days they locked gazes. He had been looking at her, and when she looked back over he just couldn't look away.


He knew he shouldn't have looked. He saw out of the corner of his eye that she had watched him sit down, but he hadn't expected her to look at him again so soon. As soon as they locked eyes he wanted nothing more than to walk over to her, take her in his arms, give her a mind blowing kiss and take her as his own once again.


Buffy hadn't realized she stopped breathing as they stared at each other, that was until she began gasping for air when a familiar brunette walked into their line of sight, disrupting their gazing, and sat at the booth right along side him. Once the girl was completely seated and smiling and laughing at Spike Buffy realized where she knew that girl from.

Xander saw everything and began talking calmly in the background to her but as she watched the two together it was as if everything around her was shutting down.

"Buf, she showed up yesterday at his house, he didn't know she was coming. I guess she'll be staying with him for a few days, though..."

Buffy's eyes glossed over as tears welled up at the sight of the dark haired beauty she had secretly been so jealous of.

Willow looked at Xander with sad eyes. "How long have you known she was here?"

"Ran into them this morning before homeroom. She's auditing his classes while she's here. Some bullshit about writing a research paper about different learning environments... I don't know," he said glancing at Buffy. "I think she's here just to try and cause more damage."

A single tear rolled slowly down Buffy's cheek as she continued to stare at the two at the their own table.

She came back to him... His black beauty he loved SO much, came back to him. Honestly, what chance do you have now, Buf?

That bastard.

"Drusilla."

As Buffy breathed the girls name she watched as the dark haired woman fed Spike a piece of fruit and smiled sweetly at him.

Another tear fell.

Drusilla looked over to where Buffy was sitting, looked her directly in the eye and winked at her, laughing and smiling the entire time.

Buffy felt like she couldn't breathe. She blinked a few times and broke the eye contact, looking across the table at her worried friends, grabbed her purse and stood, making a bee line toward the door.


"Stop feedin' me, Dru. I'm not a bloody child," he said and he noticed her laughing and smiling to herself. "What are you-" he looked up just in time to see Buffy stand up quickly and head for the door. Judging by the scowl on Willow's face directed in Dru's direction he figured out the reason for Buffy's exit. He shook his head and clenched his teeth. "You know, Dru, I didn't bring you here so you could make things worse..."

"Shh, my Spike... I'm making things better for you, you'll see."


As Buffy walked by her old table on her way out the door Cordelia started cackling with laughter. She had been watching the whole thing.

"Oh my god, Buffy... could you be more pathetic right now?"

Riley gave his friend a questioning look.

"Her spring fling boy toy already moved on..." she said pointing in the direction of Spike and Dru.

Riley and Angel both looked over to where Cordelia had been pointing and chuckled.

Buffy felt as if she'd been shot in the gut. This was no doubt the worst day she'd had in her entire life.

She busted her way through the double doors out into the empty hallway and sniffled as she wiped at her eyes. She had made it half way down the hall that led to the senior parking lot when she heard the double doors fling open again.

"Buffy, luv, wait!"

TBC

CHAPTER NINETEEN: Decisions

“Buffy, luv, wait!” he yelled as he jogged toward her.

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. It was the first time she’d heard his voice since he walked out on her that night not too long ago. The sound of his voice alone made that tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach come back. She missed that more than she ever thought she would or could have.

He jogged up behind her and the closer he got the more he regretted running after her. The close proximity after everything that happened and the vanilla strawberry smell that was purely Buffy… it made everything all too real.

Her shoulders sagged in defeat of a battle she hadn’t even realized she had been fighting. He was here, and now they would have to have the conversation that she now knew would end in ‘Dru and I are back together, thanks for making me realize who I really loved!’

She turned to look at him as he came to a stop behind her, and the crushed look on her face broke his heart all over again.

He couldn’t lie, he was pleased to find that she actually sat at the table with Willow, Xander, and Oz rather than Queen C and Dumb and Dumber. He was sure she would run back to her friends and beef stick boyfriend after she was caught. When he’d heard about the blow out between her and Cordelia this morning he couldn’t hide the smile that formed.

“Buffy, I-“

“Dru, huh?” she said suddenly. “That’s really her?” The pain in her voice couldn’t be missed, but along with that also came loads of anger.

“Yeh,” he said carefully. “She’s gonna be in town for a few weeks.”

Buffy nodded and laughed a little, throwing him off. “You know, I knew you were mad at me. Didn’t want to talk to me or sit at the table with me… but her?!” she said pointing back toward the cafeteria. “If you wanted to hurt me, congratulations. You did,” she said biting backing away from him.

“What? No, I didn’t-“

“Look,” she said putting her hand up to stop him. “I know you two have a lot of history, and that you still love her…”

“No I-“

“But there are things I need to figure out now. And until I figure out what I need to, I can’t be around you.”

Spike was growing angry now. Who did she think she was? She was accusing him of things without letting him explain. “Buffy I didn’t bring her here. I didn’t want her here, but there is some unfinished stuff between us now,” he said looking at her eyes. “I decided not to make her leave, but I want you to understand that my intentions are not for her and I to get back together.”

Hope fluttered through her, and quite frankly it pissed her off to think of how pathetic she felt, clinging to the possibility of being with him again.

He was just another guy… who obviously had no problem moving on.

“I appreciate your concern, really, but-“

“Buffy, do you realize how much it hurt me that you were lying to me all that time?”

She had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. “You think I haven’t thought about it? I feel awful about it, I really do, but you act as if you were the one who was being cheated on. Riley was going to be out of my life the minute he got home from that trip,” she said, fresh tears forming in her already red and puffy eyes. “Do you really think I would be going through all of this right now if I wasn’t serious about you?”

Spike was in awe, and didn’t know how to respond. Each time he pointed out that it was her who wronged him, she turned things around to make him feel so guilty about it. And what really pissed him off was that he was giving her an opening letting her know he wanted her and not Dru, and she was saying she needed time to think about things?

He crossed his arms in front of himself and glared at her. “Why did you tell me you loved me?”

A new kind of hurt rose up in Buffy’s chest. She had to look away from him to keep from crying again. She was so tired of crying.

She looked up at him again and for a split second he thought she was going to fall in his arms and kiss him, but then her eyes grew cold again and she backed away.

Then he felt the hand snake over his shoulder and another grasp his bicep. Buffy’s eyes became daggers.

“I hope you two find what you’re looking for,” her voice came with a hardness he had never heard from her before. Before he got the chance to stop her, she was gone.

He clenched his jaw and looked down at Dru who was standing there smiling, resting her chin on his shoulder, wearing his leather duster.


x X x X x


“So how the hell are we going to get them together with the queen of the dead in town?” Xander asked, sitting on an awkward looking orange chair.

Willow was pessimistic. “I don’t know if we can anymore, Xand. Buffy’s moved past sad and now she’s more mad.”

“We should sabotage Dru,” Xander smiled. “Make her get the hell out and stay out.”

“She gives me the wiggins. I can’t wait until she leaves.”

“Well that’s what I’m sayin’, lets make her leave. Get her outta here early.”

“That’s easier said than done, Xander. Besides, don’t you think that if Spike really wanted her gone, he would have made her leave in the first place?”

“If he gets back together with her, I’m going to be very upset…”

“Gets back together with who?” Spike asked as he descended the stairs to Xanders basement bedroom, Drusilla in tow.

Xander looked up at them, wide eyed.

Busted.

“Um, no one… no one you know.”

Spike quirked a brow knowingly at the boy, who turned away in shame.

Drusilla smiled at everyone in the room, and Xander and Oz gave her fake smiles back. When she looked at Willow, however, she was greeted with a scowl. Deciding to leave it alone, for now, she turned her attention back to Spike as they took a seat next to each other on the sofa bed.

“So Spike,” Willow began, already knowing the real answer before she’d even finished the question. “Did you talk to Buffy today?”

Spike looked up, and angry expression immediately covering his face. “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.”

“What did you guys talk about?” Willow smiled, loving the annoyed look on Dru’s face when she said Buffy’s name.

Spike shifted uncomfortably. “Stuff…” he said, clearly not wanting to talk about it. “Hey so I thought we could all go to the Bronze some night this week, show Dru…”

“Sure,” Willow said, slightly annoyed. Then her face lit up. “Hey, remember that time you and Buffy went there? After she snuck into you’re room in the middle of the night?”

Xander and Oz looked quickly between Willow and a steadily angering Spike. And a really annoyed Drusilla.
“She told you about that?” he asked, a bit surprised, a little pain evident in his voice at the memory.

Willow immediately felt a little guilty. “She told me about all of the things she loved to do with you…”

Spike looked at Willow as if trying to tell her something, and at first she was confused but then the realization hit her, and hope fluttered.

He loved her too.

So it was decided. Operation-Get-Drusilla-Gone was now underway.


x X x X x


When Buffy had gotten home from school she felt the need to take a long, very hot bubble bath to get rid of the feeling she got after all of the events of the day.

It amazed her, actually, just how much it hurt to not be around him all the time. How much it hurt that Drusilla was staying with him in his home, probably in his bed, invading his space in a way Buffy used to.

Although, the more she thought about it, Buffy started to realize how unfinished his relationship with Dru probably was, and that it was sort of her fault that it hadn’t aired out the way it should have.

She had gone over there, mere hours after Drusilla dumped him, and teased him with climbing through his window and into his bed. She distracted him.

He never fully coped with that breakup, and it was no secret he had loved her… his dark goddess. And he still loved her. That was why he wouldn’t make her go home. He still wanted her.

It angered Buffy beyond belief that she let herself fall for someone who’s mind was focused on someone else. She cursed herself for not being more sensitive to him and his feelings, and for rushing things so much with the relationship they had just begun together. And she couldn’t help but feel that if she had gotten her hormones in check, maybe all of this between them could have been avoided.

Then again, Dru may have still come back, and he would have just left her to get back together with Dru. All you have to do is look at her and know that they fit together. He called her his black beauty. She had that dark sensuality to her.

Buffy didn’t have that.

She was actually probably the exact opposite, probably nothing more than a trist for Spike. A little rebound, spring fling fun to be had, but after that nothing more. Buffy didn’t want to think any of it was true, but she couldn’t help it. She was nothing special, and Buffy knew it.

She took a deep breath and wiped some water off her face. She sat up and wrung her hair out, rinsed off, and pulled the plug.


x X x X x


Spike couldn’t stop thinking about her. No matter what he did… everything reminded him of Buffy.

He was thankful that Willow and Anya had offered to take Dru out shopping for a little while after dinner, and give Spike a break from babysitting her.

Now, as he lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, all he could do was think about her. The way her skin felt under his touch, the way her soft little moans only managed to turn him on even more, the way her emerald eyes sparkled when she smiled…

His heart ached for her… but he refused. He promised himself he would not be the one to go crawling back. He was always the one who would crawl back and beg. This time he refused.

He would not be loves bitch.


x X x X x


At the mall Willow, Anya, and Drusilla sat down at a small café table and ordered some beverages, struggling to put all their bags down on the floor without dropping them.

“Phew,” Willow said once they all got situated in their seats. “That was fun.”

Lies.

“Yes,” Drusilla said. “I don’t do this sort of thing while I’m at home.”

Willow nodded and slightly glanced over at Anya who gave her a subtle nod. “We used to come here with Buffy all the time,” Willow said and was pleased with the annoyed look Dru gave at the sound of Buffy’s name. “She used to come here and shop for some sexy stuff to wear for Spike,” she said wiggling her eyebrows.

Drusilla shifted uncomfortably. “They’ve been intimate with each other?”

Anya chose the moment to speak up. “Oh yes, they’re both very fond of orgasms.”

Drusilla choked on her latte, and her face grew red with anger.

“Spike loved the special orgasms Buffy would give him…”

“Anya!” Willow fake-scolded. “Drusilla doesn’t want to hear about how her dumping Spike caused him and Buffy to-“

“Scream each others names in oral pleasure?” Anya offered, eyebrows raised.

“She doesn’t want to know those things about Buffy and Spike,” Willow said subtly, looking out of the corner of her eye at Dru. “No matter how good they made each other feel.”

Willow and Anya simultaneously looked over at Dru from their seats across the table.

Dru was beyond pissed, clearly not liking the thought that her Spike was using his unique talents on another girl. She looked up with blazing eyes at the two girls. “I think it’s time I get back to Spikes. He’ll wonder what’s keeping me.”


x X x X x


Spike was frustrated with himself as he picked up the phone next to his bed and dialed Buffy’s cell number. He needed to talk to her, clear the air a little, and he needed to do it at a time when Dru wouldn’t be around to stir things up.


x X x X x


When her cell phone rang Buffy set her pen down on her desk and walked over to her bedside table where her phone was charging. The name on the caller ID made her heart sink and race with excitement at the same time.

Spike…

For a moment she thought about just letting it ring. She didn’t know what to say to him, and the last thing she wanted to was to argue more with him. But, as always when it came to Spike, she was pulled to him and she couldn’t help herself as she opened her phone.

“…Hello?”


x X x X x


Spike was more nervous than ever as the phone rang and rang. He wasn’t completely sure of what he was going to say to her. He supposed he just needed to hear her voice.

It seemed to ring forever and after a while he decided to give up. He had pulled the phone away and was about to hang up when he heard her on the other end.

“Hello?”

He quickly put the phone back to his ear. “Buffy?”

“Yeah…”

Spike sighed heavily and closed his eyes, swallowing hard. “Hi.”

Buffy was confused. What did he want? She sat down on her bed and blinked a few times, confused and unsure of what to say. “What’s up?”

Spike chuckled a little at how ridiculous everything was between them. “So much, pet. So much and I just wanted to hear you.”

Was he drunk? “Spike, I-“

“No, please don’t. Don’t tell me not to talk to you ‘cause I think we need to clear the air between us.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you that, spike. And,” she took a deep breath. “We do need to clear the air.”

Spike nodded to himself. “Alright.”

For a few minutes neither of them said anything, just sat in an uncomfortable silence. But Buffy couldn’t take it, she needed to get things out and she decided she could be the one early on to start the mending process.

“Spike, I… I’m sorry. For hurting you. I really never meant to and please believe me when I say I wasn’t using you.” She took a shaky breath. “I was just too impatient. I didn’t want to wait for him to get home so I could break the news.”

Spike listened angrily but intently as she spoke. As much as he wanted to stay mad at her he was finding it harder and harder to keep his resolve. “I’m sorry too, pet, for acting like a right ponce when you were hurting. But,” he sighed. “It hurt. It really did and after everything that pillock put you through-“

“But I didn’t know! I didn’t know about all the cheating and lying yet and I didn’t want to be a bitch and break up with the guy while he was on vacation. I’m not heartless, you know.”

“Yeh, I know. But you could have told me…”

Buffy laid back against her pillow and looked down at her fidgeting fingers. “Yeah. I know that now. I should have, and I’m sorry.”

Spike already felt better that they were making his kind of progress and good communication. “So,” Spike started. “Are… we… good now?”

Buffy didn’t want to say yes, she wanted to confront him on Drusilla and why she was really here and why he didn’t make her go home.

“It depends.”

Spike was a little surprised. That wasn’t the answer he was expecting to hear. “On what?” he asked with a little more disgust than he intended.

Buffy took a deep breath. Here we go… “Spike… you and I… we started to fast. We followed our hormones and everything was sort of a big haze. We, I don’t know, didn’t take enough time to really get to know each other… as friends. That’s something I really think we should have done.”

Spike nodded to himself again. “Yeah. Yeah I guess we should have. I’m sorry.”

“No! No, I’m just as guilty as you are. It’s just… it happened, and were both to blame for that one. I guess what I’m trying to say…” she sighed. “I think if we were ever to be okay again we’d have to start over. Take things slower this time. Be friends first.”

Spike sat up in his bed, feeling excitement flutter through him. “Alright, we can-“

“But I can’t do that, can’t be around you and be your friend if you’re going to be with Drusilla.”

Suddenly everything around Spike seemed to shut down.

Buffy’s voice was shaky as she continued to talk. “I’m so sorry, Spike, I am. But it’s just too much. To know you have her in your home, and that you too her back so fast… I can’t come around you if she’s around.”

“Buffy, pet, she’s leaving. We’re not together, I swear it. I make her think that there’s a chance so that she’ll back off a little but Buffy… you’re the only girl I think about.”

Buffy let out a small sob, and was mad at herself for letting him know she was crying. She was hearing what she wanted to hear but her brain was telling her to stand her ground and keep strong for now.

“There’s so much unfinished between you two, Spike, and I can’y help but feel like part of that is my fault.”

Spike was shaking his head. This wasn’t what he had wanted to hear.

“When is she supposed to leave?” she sniffled.

“A week…”

“If she really does leave… in one week we can talk again.”

“No, Buffy, please…”

“I can’t, Spike. I can’t watch you be with her. One week will go by faster than you think.” Buffy sat silent, listening to him breathe, unsure of what he’d say next. “Take this week, to figure out how you feel about her, and what you want from her. I’ll talk to you then.”

Spike clenched his jaw. “Fine.”

“Goodnight, Spike,” she said and before he could say anything else, she hung up.


x X x X x


As Buffy got ready for bed she couldn’t help but look over at Spikes bedroom window. She could see him walk by the window as he grabbed a pair of shorts out of the closet then disappear out of sight. She backed up a little when he reappeared again so that he wouldn’t be able to see her. It made her skin hot to see him walking around his room with nothing but a pair of shorts on. She missed being able to touch him.

Maybe we still have a chance…

Buffy felt a small wave of relief flow through her at the thought of them having another chance… that was until Dru appeared in the window and looked directly over at Buffy, smirking, and pulled the curtain shut knowing full well that Buffy would still be able to see the silhouettes.

Buffy’s blood was boiling at the thought of that girl being in Spikes room. Through the curtains Buffy could see Drusilla come up behind Spike and wrap her arms around him, running her cold bony hands down his creamy chiseled body.

Buffy felt like she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t have a chance at being with him again. That reality sunk down into her as she fell onto her bed, buried her face into her pillow, and cried over him one last time.


TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY: Moving On

After Spike hung up the phone following his conversation with Buffy he felt like he needed to take a shower. He was aggravated, and determined to show her that he didn’t want to be with Dru.

He honestly couldn’t remember what had possessed him to let her stay, and he was kicking himself in the balls for it now. He had been so angry with her for the insensitivity she showed when she broke up with him. He didn’t even want to look at her.

After he got out of the shower he walked across his room and grabbed a pair of shorts from the dresser. He wouldn’t risk sleeping naked with Dru just on the other side of that wall.

Seconds after he slipped the silky material on, the person occupying his thoughts appeared, leering at him as she walked slowly into his room.

He nodded. “Dru.”

“You didn’t tell me you were a bad dog, Spike,” she said as she approached him.

He raised one eyebrow at her as she came to a stop, mere centimeters from his face. “What are you on about?”

Dru walked by the window, glancing up across the street to a sight that made her smile even more greedily then ever. “You didn’t tell me you were a bad dog while I was home. Dancing with sunshine,” she said as she reached up, smiled again, and closed the curtain.

Spike huffed. “Yeah, I did. What’s it to you?” he asked, thoroughly irritated with her and her crazy ranting already. He turned his back to her and tossed his towel into a hamper. Before he could turn back around, though, Dru had come up behind him and wrapped her arms around him possessively, running her hands across his clean, creamy flesh. “Dru, don’t,” he warmed.

“Spike,” she spoke softly, and her hands began to slide lower on his abdomen. “Let me make you feel good. You know I can. You know you want me to,” she smiled and snaked the tips of her fingers into the waistband of his shorts.

Spike clenched his jaw and grabbed her wrists firmly, pulling her away from him. “No, Dru, I really don’t.” He held her wrists as he moved away from her, and it pissed him off that she was still smirking at him.

“I’ll let you hurt me,” she leaned closer and whispered, “in all the wrong places…”

He shook his head and glared at her. “You know I don’t do that, Dru, and no. Not interested, not anymore.”

She pouted. “Why not?”

Spike clenched his jaw and shook his head. “How many times do we have to go through this, Dru! You dumped ME! I got over it, moved on.”

“To her!” she yelled suddenly, eyes blazing. “We don’t quite see eye to eye for a few weeks and you’ve already moved on! That’s not like you… William.”

“Oh you wanna talk about moving on? Like you moved on? Wes back home told me why you dumped me, Dru. Another guy? I wasn’t even gone three weeks and already you were moving on. Well you know what, now its my turn. There is no us.”

She looked furious, obviously not used to being rejected. “No!” she demanded. “You once told me we were eternal! You loved me, how can you just stop?!”

“I didn’t just stop! You helped me!” he said, trying not to yell. The last thing he wanted right now was his uncle coming up here and interjecting. “If you weren’t so heartless maybe part of me would still love you, but you helped me realize what a mistake it was to be with you.” He started to walk away but suddenly he turned back around and pointed toward his window. “And Buffy? She was the nail in the coffin for us, Dru. She made me realize what I had been missing out on with you. You don’t even compare to her.”

He glared at her as he backed away from her. He knew his words were pretty harsh, but at this point she needed to hear it or she would never learn. “I’m tired of this, Dru. I’m sorry, but I want you gone.”

She was upset, but Spike noted how she didn’t seem sad, just angry, and that only confirmed his suspicions that he was nothing but a play toy to her. A good roll in the sack.

“The sun’s burned you to ashes, Spike,” she said licking the tips of her fingers. “You taste like ashes.”

He simply chose to ignore her as she slowly walked past him and out into the hallway. He refused to look at her even though he could feel her eyes on him, beckoning him to spare a glance.

He was hurt, all over again. Not because he wanted his relationship with her, he was over and past that. But that his suspicions about their entire relationship together were confirmed. He was a toy. All the while he was showering her with everything she ever wanted from him and he loved her. She never loved him back. She never even said it to him in seriousness. Only with the response of ‘love you too, pet.’ She never once said it to him first.

Buffy said it to him.

“Goodbye, Spike,” Drusilla pouted as she walked out of his room and into the spare bedroom. Spike could only hope that when he got home from school tomorrow she would be gone.

“Bye, Dru,” he said quietly to himself. When he heard her door click shut he took a deep breath and made his way over to his door and locked it, then walked over to the side of his bed. He looked around for a moment then down at his feet. He bent down and reached under his bed, grabbing the same picture of Buffy he had hated only a day or so ago, and placed it back on his bedside table.

Once again, tomorrow was going to be a big day.


x X x X x


When Buffy woke up the next morning she decided she was going to have an edge to her. She wasn’t going to take shit from anyone and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone get to her.

Dressed in a flattering pink tank top and skirt, she parted her hair to the side and subtly tucked the front strands behind her ears. It was simple, but elegant. She could still be pretty without going overboard like Cordelia.

She was done. Done being the doe-eyed hurt school girl who lost all her friends and boyfriend in one day. Done being the girl who couldn’t stop crying over a guy. Done being the laughing stock of her old friends. She would show all of them how good she could be without all of them.

She would show them.


x X x X x


Spike was happy to see that when he got up that morning, Dru was packed up and gone, no sign of her coming back. It was like a weight off of his shoulders that sh e was gone. Now all he wanted to concentrate on was getting back with Buffy.

He was nervous, like a school boy before a first date. He didn’t really know why, though. She’d said she would talk to him when Dru was gone. Well, she was gone. So she would have to talk to him.


x X x X x


Buffy decided as she walked into school that day that she would avoide talking to Spike completely. The best and easiest way to get over him would to simply stop contact with him. It would be better… for both of them. And so she felt good walking the halls that day. Judging by the reactions of most guys as she walked through the halls, she figured her choice of outfitting was nice. Even the girls smiled at her as she passed them by.

Maybe there was hope for her yet. The population of Sunnydale High may very well be on her side in all of this.

“Hey Buffy!” Willow sprang out of nowhere.

“Hey, Wil. Whats up?” she smiled.

“You look different today…” Willow noted. Less preppy-teenage beauty queen, more womanly elegance. “Something good happen?”

Pretty much the opposite actually…

Buffy shrugged and tried to smile a little. It didn’t really work. “I guess you could say that.”

“Oh,” Willow was a little concerned now. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?”

Buffy stopped at her locker and began turning the combination lock, head cocked to one side. “I had a talk with Spike last night…”

Willows mood instantly turned hopeful. “And…?”

Buffy shrugged again. “We’re completely over.”

Willows smile dropped. “What? But… you seem so happy about that…”

“I am,” Buffy said as she grabbed her books out of her locker and shut it. “I’m done moping, Wil. I won’t be everyone’s second choice. I’m moving on.”

The two girls started walking together down the hall. Buffy smiling at all of the guys who smiled at her appraisingly. Willow was surprised, to say the least. Spike had told Xander who told Willow this morning that Drusilla had left. Spike had seemed hopeful and excited to see Buffy, yet here she was, apparently moving on.

She got the feeling that something was missing. Somewhere in there, there must have been a misunderstanding, she just didn’t know who’s side it happened on.


x X x X x


Drusilla walked up to Buffy’s front door and looked around to be sure no one was looking at her.

Holding a stack of photos she smirked devilishly and stuffed them in an envelope with Buffy’s name written clear across the front. After sealing the envelope into the mailbox, and then turned back to the street and got In her waiting cab.


x X x X x


Spike was anxious to get to lunch that day. Buffy had sat with his friends the day before, so she must be sitting there today.

He couldn’t wait to tell her about Dru leaving, that was, if she didn’t know already. Despite everything that had happened between them, he believed this was their chance to patch things up.

He walked through the halls with a bit of a skip in his step.


x X x X x


Buffy walked into the cafeteria and gave a small wave to Willow who was already waiting with Oz at the table.
As she approached the end of the long lunch line she saw Spike come into the cafeteria through the doors on the opposite side of the cafeteria.

As she looked at him she found she was losing her breath. As mad as she was, she couldn’t face him yet.

He started to scan the lunch room as he approached Willow and Oz. Buffy watched as they talked, and the look on Willows face worried her a little. Suddenly she saw Willow look in her direction and point.

It was like slow motion as she watched as Spikes head began to turn in her direction, and rather than wait for him to spot her, she panicked, grabbed a tray to cover her face, and ducked into the middle of the lunch line.

She didn’t know why suddenly she was so afraid to confront him. This morning she felt so good about their relationship –or whatever it was- being over. But now, with him scanning the cafeteria looking for her, she simply didn’t want to be seen.

“Ex boyfriend or loan shark?” the person behind her suddenly asked.

Buffy turned around slowly and when she first laid eyes on him a small flutter went through her abdomen. “Excuse me?”

“The person you’re hiding from?” he asked with a questioning gaze and slight smirk.

“Oh.”

God how I so DON’T want to get into that…

“Both. Ugly breakup.”

Well I’m not lying…

As she looked at this dark haired man standing by her she couldn’t help but smile and blush. He was kinda cute. “I’m sorry, I just cut you-“

“No!” he moved quickly to say. “Stay. Stay,” he said with a small nod. “I’ll watch your back.”

Buffy was surprised. She’d never seen him around school before, then again, there were probably a lot of people here that she’d never really noticed before. She smiled and looked at him a couple times as the lunch line progressed and she grabbed some things off the shelves.

As they reached the end of the line she looked over at Willow who was waving frantically for her to get over there. However, she simply put one finger up to indicate she’d be there in a moment and turned back toward the guy who had so generously let her cut him.
“So…” he said smiling down at her.

“So,” she turned a little. “Those are my…” she said motioning toward Willow, Xander, and Oz. “Are you…”

“Oh, no, I have someone waiting,” he said a little reluctantly. “Otherwise, I’d…” he hesitated and laughed a little. All the while Buffy couldn’t stop smiling at him. “Uh,” he said blinking a few times as he extended his hand out to her. “Parker… Abrams.”

She gladly took his hand and smiled a little shyly. “Buffy Summers.”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you around, Buffy Summers.”

She smiled and twirled ever so slightly, excited from their interaction. “See ya, Parker Abrams,” and with that he smiled curtly at her and they both walked to their respective tables.

Then it dawned on her, ever since she had started talking to Parker she never once thought about Spike who, unbeknownst to her, was standing in a corner behind her, seething with anger and jealousy as he watched Parker retreat to his lunch table.

Buffy set her tray down at the table and couldn’t help but smile as she took her seat, grateful that Spike apparently chose not to sit with them once again today.

As much as Willow felt uneasy about what was going on between Buffy and Spike, she couldn’t help but feel happy for Buffy. She was smiling… really smiling for the first time since the whole blowout. “So… spill. What was that all about with the cutie patootie?”

Buffy’s smile widened at the thought of him, and she looked over in his direction. “I don’t know. Nothing serious I think. Just random adorableness.”

“Oh a technique I know well,” Xander added. “Hit the girl with your best shot… and then hasta,” he said with a hand gesture that said get outta there.

Oz smiled as much as he could, being Oz. “Gotta respect the drive-by.”

Xander continued. “Low rejection… Fond memories,” he smiled and nodded.

Everyone in their little group seemed to side mostly with Buffy. True, she lied to Spike, but they could all tell that she was really going to end it with Riley and be with him. It was a shame Spike reacted the way he did, and letting Drusilla stay with him wasn’t helping the situation one bit. So, there mission was to make Buffy feel better, any way they could.

Willow shrugged a little and smiled. “It looked like more than that to me. He got all googly-eyed.”

Xander looked at Buffy and winked. “And that’s because he got hit by the Buffinator. Now he’s powerless.”

Buffy couldn’t help the excited smile that spread out across her face as she wriggled in her seat a bit. “You think?”

Oz nodded. “No question. He’ll be back.”

They all felt a little guilty, being Spikes friends and all, but he didn’t need to know what they were saying. At this point, they just wanted to see her smile again, and if this is what did it, then so be it.

Buffy knew they were just trying to make her feel better, but the more they egged her on the more excited she felt about this Parker guy.

She definitely felt spark-age, mostly of the tingly kind. There could definitely be some feelings there, and it excited her.


Spike stormed out of the cafeteria, shoving some younger kids out of the way in the process.

He needed to get away before he put his fist through something. Seeing Buffy… it turned out exactly the opposite of what he had been hoping for. He was sure he’d be able to march up to her and tell her that Dru was gone, and they’d talk and get back together. Instead he’s come to the cafeteria, looked around for her and when he found her she had been blushing and laughing it up with some lunk head.

Maybe nothing would come of it, maybe he was overreacting, but he had a bad feeling about that Parker guy.

He stormed through the double doors to the parking lot as he whipped his keys out of his pocket and walked up to his car.

“Mr. Giles…” an irritatingly familiar voice rang through his ears.

“Bloody hell,” he mumbled as he turned around, looking defeated.

“Where exactly do you think you’re going? You know you’re not allowed to leave campus until school has let out.”

“I was, um,” he hesitated for a moment, trying to figure out a good excuse. He had nothin’. “I wasn’t leavin’, just grabbin’ my jacket is all.”

The short balding man approached him slowly, never taking his eyes off of him. “You’ve got a real attitude problem, Mr. Giles. Ever since the first day I met you.”

Spike huffed.

This bloody hell wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my afternoon…

“Mr. Giles I suggest you get back into the building and get ready for your next class,” he said looking him up and down. “I’ll be watching you. Have a good day.”

Spike rolled his eyes and trudged back toward the school building. “Not bloody likely,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?” Snyder snapped as he turned his attention on Spike again.

“Nothing, sir. Just having a bad day is all.”

“Well keep your issues at home. There are more important things to worry about.”


x X x X x


Buffy walked home from school that day. Spike had seemingly disappeared for the rest of the day and even if he hadn’t, she probably wouldn’t have been able to ask for a ride anyway. It would have been too awkward.

Maybe it was better that way. Her relationship with Spike had been so spur of the moment, so passionate and intense… maybe it wasn’t safe for them to be friends. Nothing good could come of it.

After what she saw last night… mere hours after their phone conversation, it was a splash of cold water. Had she not seen Dru go into his room last night, she may very well have let him back into her good graces. And right now, with everything she knew, she wasn’t ready to her him be on her good side.

At the edge of the sidewalk Buffy stopped to gather some things out of the mailbox, stealing quick glances over at Spikes house across the street. His car wasn’t there.

Even with all the disgust over Drusilla, she still couldn’t help the twinge of sadness that stuck at the thought of him not being there, and she hated herself for it.

As she looked blankly through the pile of junk mail and bills in her hand as she walked through the front door, one envelope caught her eye. Not only because it was the only piece of mail that came for her rather than her mother, but because there was no return address or stamp. It had to have been delivered personally by whomever the sender was. It was strange.

Just as she was about to open it the phone began to ring. Buffy looked up at the clock. Judging by the time it was, Buffy assumed it was probably her mom, inquiring about what to do for dinner.

Buffy quickly set the pile of mail down on the table and ran to make it to the phone before it stopped ringing.


x X x X x


A few hours had passed and Buffy had completely forgotten about the mystery envelope in the mail, that was until Joyce brought it upstairs to Buffy and began inquiring about it.

She sat up in bed and took the envelope from her mother, then stuck a finger into the corner, tearing it open and smirking at her mother who was waiting patiently in the doorway, no doubt curious about the envelopes contents.

As Buffy pulled out the contents of the envelope she suddenly realized who the sender was. Her face paled and she had to swallow hard to keep from crying.

“What is it, honey?” Joyce asked.

Buffy looked up and managed a completely forced fake smile, not wanting her mother to know what the contents truly were, so she lied.

“Just some… old pictures from the year book staff at school. Probably finished with them already.”

Joyce knew her daughter well enough to know her daughter was faking the smile. Based on what Buffy had told her, though, she just assumed the ‘old’ pictures were of her and Riley or her and Cordelia, and that was why she was faking a smile.

Joyce gave Buffy a warm smile from her spot in the doorway. “People grow apart, Buffy. All you can do is look back and remember all the fond memories you had with them. Don’t dwell on what could have been,” she said. And with that she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

As soon as the door closed Buffy had to close her eyes and steady herself. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry anymore, and so she refused to. She reopened her eyes and shuffled quickly through the stack of photos which had come out of the envelope. At the end she couldn’t help the sound of disgust she let out and threw them on the floor next to the garbage can.

Too angry to do anything else at this point she rolled over, flipped off the light and curled up in bed, welcoming the dreamland that would take her away from this one.

On the floor lay various pictures of Spike and Drusilla laughing, kissing, and what she was sure was a private collection of snapshots taken during some pretty heated sex.

Buffy pursed her lips. This was the last straw.


TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE: Misunderstandings

Thursday afternoon…

Buffy had managed to avoid any contact with Spike for a few days now, too disgusted with him and his lies to even try and talk to him.

Willow was the one to tell her Drusilla had finally left town, and where Buffy should have been happy, all she could think about was those pictures Dru had intentionally left behind, and the web of lies that had come from Spike only hours before they had been taken.

She wished she could say that it wasn’t the actual act that hurt, that it was just that he was lying about it, but all that would be a lie. It royally pissed her off that another girl got to be with him, got to feel how he had made her feel once.

All the Buffy-Spike drama flooded her head as she straightened up the living room for when her mom got home. The last thing she wanted today was her mom nagging her about the house being a mess.

Just as she was about to head upstairs there was a knock on the door.

Buffy was confused. They never got visitors at the door. With a furrowed brow, Buffy made her way over to the door and stepped up on her toes to see through the peep hole. What she saw on the other side made her breath hitch a little and she couldn’t hide the blush that formed on her cheeks.

Quickly, she backed up and swung the door open. “Parker… Hi…”

“Hey Buffy.”

Buffy just stood there and smiled at him, feeling giddy yet shy all at once. She wasn’t exactly sure how she should feel.

Parker looked around, smiling, and when she didn’t say anything else, looked back to her.

Buffy closed her eyes and laughed a little. “I’m sorry, I’m so rude. Please, come in.”

“Thanks,” he chuckled as he stepped inside and stepped toward the living room. Buffy closed the front door behind him and followed him toward the living room.

“So,” she began. “What’s up?”

“Uh,” he began. Buffy noticed he looked a little nervous and it dawned on her that he was here… in her house… and she had only just met him a day or two ago.

“Um,” she shuffled a little. “How did you know where I live?”

“Oh, um, I hope you don’t mind… I asked around. I wasn’t sure if you had a cell phone or not, so…”

Buffy reassured him. “I don’t mind. I-I was just curious.”

“Okay,” he seemed relieved. “So, um, I came here to ask you if maybe you would want to go to this party with me tomorrow night.”

Buffy was shocked, to say the least. She hadn’t really thought that he was actually into her, yet, here he was, asking her to go to a party with him. Although she was still a little sheltered after everything that blew up in her face, she actually felt excited to go out and party.

“I know we just met, and we don’t really know each other, but I really like you and, you know, maybe at the party we could-“

“I’d love to.”

Parker didn’t really look surprised, but he did look pleased. “Great,” he smiled. “So, um, cam I pick you up here tomorrow… around eight?”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll be ready,” Buffy said, smiling.

“Alright,” Parker said as he made his way back over to the front door. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at eight, then,” he said as he opened the door to let himself out.

Buffy couldn’t help but notice the familiar black car that pulled up to the house across the street as she said her goodbyes to Parker.

Familiar pangs shot through her as she watched Parker walk off and she began to close the door, smile no longer on her face and suddenly a foot in the door kept her from closing it all the way.

“Huh? What the- Spike!”

He pushed his way into the house and closed the door behind him. “We need to talk.”

Buffy huffed and crossed her arms. “About what? You walked away from me remember?”

Big drama king…

Spike huffed in frustration and he too crossed his arms. “I was upset. Doesn’t mean we ignore and avoid each other for the rest of the year.”

“What do you want?” she asked suddenly.

He was a bit taken back by the clear aggravation in her voice. “I needed to tell you,” he said taking a deep breath. “Dru left. She’s gone.”

Buffy stood there looking unaffected and calm. She shrugged. “So?”

Spike physically moved back this time. “So? So you said you and I could talk this out when she went home,” he said letting his arms fall to his sides. “She’s gone Buffy, out of our lives for good.”

Buffy couldn’t hold back her anger after that last statement. “Out of your life, huh? Just not without a little fun first, right?” she seethed.

He crossed his arms again. “Wha’s that supposed to mean?”

Buffy shook her head and held one finger up. “Don’t you dare play dumb, Spike. I’ve seen what you two were up to as you supposedly tried to get her out of your house,” she said looking him up and down. “I can’t believe I even bothered talking to you the other night.”

Spike was in shock, to say the least. “Wha- You- Where is this coming from? What is it you think I did?”

Buffy’s chin quivered in anger as she stared over at him, arms crossed in front of her chest. She shook her head and laughed a little. “You know what… I don’t even care. I just want my life to go back to the way it was before.”

He clenched his jaw as he tried to keep his eyes off of her. So she wanted things the way they were before… just minus him… He was hurt, but he couldn’t help but be mad at himself. He never should have let Dru stay. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be in this situation.

Buffy raised a brow at Spike as he stood there speechless. “You had a point when you were mad at me about Riley, but you must not think very highly of me to do something like this,” she said as she opened the front door and held it open, waiting for him to get out.

Spike clenched his jaw and looked at Buffy with a pained look on his face.

Spike, wait! Please… I love you!

It was almost hard to believe this was the same girl in front of him. As she seemed to get more irritated Spike finally got the hint. He walked over and stood in the threshold.

“I’m sorry, for whatever I did that hurt you so much. I’m sorry,” he said and left. Buffy quickly closed the door behind him, not bothering to look after him.

A single tear fell from Buffy’s eye as she struggled to calm herself. It was a lot harder than she thought. She was so angry at him, yet his presence still moved her.

Buffy angrily wiped away the fallen tear and stormed up to her room.


x X x X x X x


Spike was disappointed beyond belief at this entire situation. And it pissed him off to see poof Parker Abrams coming out of Buffy’s house with a smile on his face. He was so tempted to put his fist through the wankers face.

Of course Parker would be interested in Buffy. Who woulnd’t be? There was a very brief time when she had been interested in him, and that ended in disaster.

He was tired of this back and forth, I like you, I don’t like you bullshit. He couldn’t deny that he wanted Buffy and so now he would work toward making things right between them, and they would do things right this time.

Spike stormed though his front door and up the stairs, taking two or three at a time until he reached the top and got to his room. Once inside he pulled his cell out of his pocket and dialed, waiting and getting nothing but the ringing tone.

“Xander, call me back when you get this message, I need a favor.”

He snapped his phone shut and clenched his jaw as he stared at the now framed picture of him and Buffy on his dresser.

Nothing would keep him from her, of this he was sure.


x X x X x X x


“Buffy, I know I was all excited and supportive of you earlier, but… don’t you think it’s too soon for you to go out on a date with Parker? I mean, you only just met him…”

Buffy frowned a little to herself as she carefully painted her nails, holding the phone to her ear using her shoulder. “It’s not really… a date, it’s just getting together to get to know each other a little better…”

Willows shoulders sagged a little on her end. “…At a party…”

“Uh huh.”

“With people, and dancing, and alcohol…”

“What’s your point, Wil?”

Willow sighed a little. “Buffy, I asked Spike about him and Dru…”

Buffy tensed up a little, angry that even Willow seemed to be back on his side so quickly.

“Buffy he swears he never slept with her. He said they made her stay in the guest bedroom.”

“Willow, I have picture proof okay? He’s lying, I know he is.”

“But, Buf-“

“No, Wil. Okay? I’m not going to talk about this anymore. Why is everyone on his side?”

Willow started to panic. “Okay, okay, backing off the subject now. I didn’t mean to make you all mad. I’m just… concerned about this thing with Parker.”

Buffy calmed down a little and immediately felt bad for snapping. They were, after all, his friends first.

“I just don’t want you jumping into anything too quickly then getting hurt.”

Buffy sighed. “I know, Wil, and I appreciate your concern. But I am a big girl, I know what I’m doing.”

Willow chose this moment to end that particular conversation before she made Buffy any madder. She was, however, determined to make sure Buffy didn’t do anything stupid with this Parker guy. She couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty for encouraging her the day she first bumped into Parker, but she was mad at Spike over the Drusilla brain fart he had. Only now she was regretting it more than she ever thought she would.

It was definitely going to be a challenge getting these two back together, but she was determined.


x X x X x X x


“Alright,” Xander said as he flopped down into the oversized chair in Spikes living room. “I got the scoop on Buffy and Parker from Willow.”

Spike quirked a brow. “She willingly gave you info on what’s going on? I thought Red was more private…”

Xander tilted his head and pursed his lips as he shrugged. “Lets just say she’s concerned, and feeling pretty guilty.”

“Guilty about what?”

“The other day when Buffy and Parker were chatting it up in the lunch line? Yeah well Wil was all pissed at you so she kind of egged Buffy on with the Parker flirtage,” Xander said with a shrug.

Spikes face fell a little. “Why is everybody so mad at me? I didn’t do anything with Dru.”

“The ladies seem to think otherwise.”

“But why? That’s what’s pissing me off. I was down right mean to Dru while she was here, what could I possibly have done to make them think I was-“

“Doing the naughty?”

Spike looked at Xander with a brow arched.

Xander, feeling foolish after his little outburst, cleared his throat and shrugged. “I’ll talk to Wil a little more to see what I can find out.”

“Yeah, do that, ‘cause I’m getting very sick of being scowled and yelled at for something I’m completely unaware of.”

Seeing the stress this all seemed to be causing his friend, Xander felt bad and quit joking. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “We’ll figure it out, man. Whatever it takes…”


x X x X x X x


“I don’t like it, Xander, it doesn’t feel right,” Willow said as she paced back and forth in her best friends basement. “I’m worried about her.”

Xander snorted as he picked at his fingernails. “Why? She’s the one who’s so eager to go out and move on. She’s been pretty selfish if you as me…”

“Xander…”

“What? It’s true. Don’t get me wrong I like the Buffster, but what she’s doing isn’t right, and, I marvel at myself saying this… it’s immature.”

Willow, looking disappointed, flopped down on the couch next to him. “I’m just worried that deep down she’s just hurt, and this is her way of coping. I-I don’t really know her well enough yet, you know? A-and she’s so sure that she has proof of Spike sleeping with Drusilla, but she won’t tell me how. And I’m not even sure I really wanna know…”

“Well, all I know is that my friend is being accused of something with no evidence to back it up, and that even with all this drama and backlash, all he wants is Buffy back.”

Willow and Xander were both silent for a few minutes, both of them mulling over all the events of the last few weeks in their heads. Both Buffy and Spike had their high points and both certainly had their lows. Buffy should have told the truth about Riley, and Spike never should have let Drusilla stay in his home. Spike had been the first of the two to be-friend them. But Buffy had proven herself when she let her former best friends tear her apart in school. Plus, if it weren’t for Buffy, Willow and Oz may have never gotten together.

Willow and Xander looked at each other in defeat. “How are we going to fix this mess so we can all be friends again?” Willow asked.

Xander shook his head. “You gotta find out why Buffy thinks Spike had sex with Dru… and we gotta hope this Parker thing fizzles out.”

Willow pouted. “Why do I get stuck with the stressful stuff?”

Xander smiled sadly at his friend. “Because right now, Buffy is where the problem is. You do Buffy, and I do Spike,” he said then paused. “Okay that sounded wrong… at least the part about me and Spike. But you and Buffy could… you know… and no one would complain…”

Willow shook her head and ignored his attempt at making her laugh. “Xander what happens if this thing with them can’t be fixed?”

He smiled a sad smile again. “Then we assume everything happens for a reason, and we know there’s nothing more we can do.”

Willow smiled. “Sometimes you can be very wise…”

“I may not know much about history or French or geometry, but I know a little bit about people.”

Willow looked back and forth between his eyes and smiled.

It was silent for a moment as they looked at each other, both minds spinning to figure out what to do.

“We’ll figure it out, Wil,” Xander said. “One way or another we’ll figure it out.”


x X x X x X x


Buffy tip toed around her room in her robe, carefully fingering through her closet. She wasn’t sure what she should wear to the party with Parker. Something cute and sporty? Something casual? Something sexy? After the fiasco that has been the last few weeks, she really didn’t want to come off as some giant slut. That would just give Cordy more ammo to use against her. At least Cordy’s only been with one guy for almost all of high school.

With a sigh Buffy pulled out a pair of tight fitting black pants and a pair of short heeled shoes. Picking a top was difficult. Every top made her outfit look completely different and she still wasn’t sure how she even wanted to come across to Parker. True, she was available, but to jump into another relationship with another different guy… she didn’t think she could handle it.

She had been with Riley for so long, and had put up with his crap for so long… it was as if Spike had been her knight in shining armor, come to rescue her from materialism and superficial needs and selfishness. Well, that blew up in her face. She wasn’t sure if she could ever trust a guy for real again.

Buffy suddenly felt guilty, and felt like she was using Parker as a rebound, to try and prove to everybody that she was okay.

Buffy took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. Her lip quivered.

She wasn’t okay.

Quickly she tossed her outfit onto the chair in the corner and walked over to her bedside table and picked up the phone, dialing.

She chewed her lip as she waited for the person on the other end to pick up, and her heart started to race.

“Parker, hi. It’s Buffy. Look, I’m really flattered that you asked me to go to the party with you tomorrow, but I’m sure you’ve heard about me and everything that’s been going on lately…”

“Yeah…” Parker said, waiting for her to continue with her point.

“I just,” she paused to take a breath, blushing to herself. “I don’t want to lead you on in any way, or make you think-“

“Buffy, you don’t have to explain. I understand what you mean. And, I’m not upset.”

Buffy was surprised, and relieved. “Really?”

“Yeah. But, I think you should come out with me anyway, to get your mind off of things and have some fun.”

Buffy smiled a little to herself. “I don’t know-“

“As friends… come on, please?”

Buffy could hear him smiling and it made it hard to say no. “Alright. I guess I could use a night of fun.”

“I promise you won’t regret it. It’ll be a great time.”

She felt a little better about going out with Parker now that she knew it was on a friends-only basis. It wasn’t a date. They were just… hanging out. “Okay well I will see you tomorrow then,” she said with a sigh of relief.

“Great. See you then,” Parker said promptly before hanging up.

Buffy looked at the receiver for a moment before hanging up the phone, feeling slightly better but still not one hundred percent. However, she wasn’t sure she would feel one hundred percent for a while. It came with the territory.

Hearing familiar laughter coming from outside, Buffy stood and walked around her bed to look out the window. Immediately she saw Willow and Xander walk together up to Spike’s front door.

She found herself smiling at the memory of her sneaking into Spikes room only to be caught red handed by Wil and Xander. Buffy knew she had to stop reminiscing about the few weeks she found herself changing into a different person. All it did was remind her of the situation she was in now, and make that reality a much harsher feeling one.

She put her chin up and decided she just needed to keep pushing forward and forget about what happened. She would call Willow in a few hours after she’d gone home and tell her about her phone conversation with Parker, and hopefully get herself excited for the night to come.

Hopefully nothing else would go wrong.


x X x X x X x


Parker flipped his phone shut with a smirk on his face and spun on his desk chair to face his buddy who was throwing darts nearby.

“Was that your latest victim?” his friend asked.

Parker chuckled and stood. “You could say that. We’re going to the party tomorrow as ‘just friends…’ ha! Friend with benefits maybe,” he said picking up a dart and positioning himself.

His friend just laughed and shook his head. “You’re gonna do it again aren’t you?”

“I have yet to get caught, my friend. It’s the easiest way to get a girl in bed and not have to worry about the baggage the next morning. It’s perfect.”

“It’s also illegal…”

“Not if I don’t get charged. Don’t you worry, by about six a.m. Saturday morning…” he said as he threw the dart, hitting it on the bull’s-eye and smiling. “Buffy Summers will be sore and won’t remember a thing.”


TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: Lowell House


Buffy was surprised when she and Parker pulled into the parking structure for U.C. Sunnydale.

“I didn’t realize this was a college party…” she said looking over at Parker.

He immediately looked over at her and turned on his charm smile. “I didn’t mention that? I thought I did…”

Buffy turned her head and looked out the window toward the frat house as they parked. “No, you didn’t…”

“I’m sorry,” he said undoing his seatbelt and turning his body toward her. “Did you want me to take you home?”

Buffy stared at the frat house, watching as people came and went freely; smiles on their faces, then turned and looked at Parkers face. He looked nervous, so she did her best to smile. “No, no, actually I’m glad to be around some unfamiliar faces for once.”

Parker smiled, relieved, and pulled the keys out of the ignition. “Great. Let’s get inside then,” he said opening his car door.”

Buffy took a deep breath and opened her own door.

She never noticed, as she had her back to him, that Parker slipped a small bag of little red pills into his pocket before meeting her at the other side of the car.


x X x X x X x


“So what’s the deal,” Spike asked. “Did she actually go to that party with the wanker?”

Willow grimaced a little. “He picked her up at eight.”

Spike sighed and leaned back into his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. “How the fuck did this happen? We had a fight! We were supposed to make up…”

Willow looked sympathetically at her friend, unsure of what to say.

“If I could just figure out what evidence she thinks she has I’m sure I could explain it.”

Willow thought hard for a second and lit up when suddenly she remembered something. “She told me she had picture proof. Do you think she took a picture of you guys?”

As Willow said the words realization spread across Spikes face and he leaned forward onto his knees. “When did she say that?”

“Yesterday, I think. Why?” Willow asked, looking intrigued. “Do you know what she’s talking about?”

Spike looked a little embarrassed. “I think I have an idea, and if Dru had anything to do with it then I know what Buffy saw…”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“We need to get a hold of the pictures so I can try and show that they’re old.”

Willow arched a brow. “And how are we going to get them?”

Spike stood up and looked out the window toward Buffy’s house. “We need to go over there and get them…”


x X x X x X x


The music was loud and the party was growing. People all around were laughing and dancing and having a great time.

Except Buffy.

Stuck in her own little world, Buffy had yet to get up and dance with Parker or even talk to him really. She thought it would feel good to come to the party on a friends-only basis but so far it just felt like a bad date and that was causing her thoughts to wander back to Spike.

It was really a buzz kill.

“Here you go,” Parker said handing Buffy a drink, bringing her out of her daze.

“Oh, uh,” Buffy looked down into the cup and back at Parker. “Thanks.”

Parker took a long gulp of his own drink and furrowed his brow. “Is something wrong?”

Buffy knew he’d caught her off in daydream land once again and she quickly plastered on a fake smile. She looked up at him. “Nope. Everything’s great,” she said taking a tiny sip of her drink. She fought hard against the grimace that was threatening to form. “What is this?”

“Rum and coke. Don’t you like it?” he asked, surprised.

Is there even any coke in it? Buffy wondered.

“I like it,” she lied, taking another tiny sip and once again hiding the disgust. “See?”

Parker smiled and turned his attention back to the party. Buffy sighed and looked down into her drink.


x X x X x X x


Spike picked the lock on Buffy’s back door and carefully pushed it open, waiting to be sure no alarms would go off. When nothing happened he stepped inside.

Willow fidgeted as she followed him inside and quickly closed the door. “It’s so wrong on so many levels. W-what if they have cameras? What if we leave fingerprints? What if-“

“Wil,” Spike said turning toward her with a brow arched. “We’re not in the sodding Pentagon. It’s the Summers’ house. Calm down, will you?”

“What if Mrs. Summers comes home?” she asked as they rounded the corner and made their way up the stairs.

Spike pushed open Buffy’s bedroom door and surveyed the room. “She won’t be home.”

Willow slowly made her way over to Buffy’s bedside table. “How do you know?”

Spike stopped what he was doing and looked over at Willow. “I just know, okay? Just find the picture please…”

Willow sensed she was starting to get on his nerves so she shut up and started looking harder, still feeling extremely guilty about going through Buffy’s things without permission. Guilt turned into embarrassment when she opened the bottom drawer and saw a certain vibrating mechanism Buffy had hidden. Willow quickly closed that drawer and moved on to the next one before Spike saw.

Over at Buffy’s desk Spike spent a few minutes sifting through the nail polish and makeup that littered the top, hoping to find something underneath the mess. When he didn’t, he opened a drawer and lifted a notebook, revealing a picture Buffy must have stuffed in there, of her and Spike. It pulled at his heartstrings.

Moments later he heard Willow speak up. “Uh, Spike?” Willow said, blushing. “I think I may have found what we’re looking for…”


x X x X x X x


It had taken Buffy a good forty-five minutes to finish her first drink and about forty-five seconds for Parker to bring her a new one.

Her face was hot and her throat burned from all the alcohol in the first one, and now she felt angry at the pressure to have another one so soon.

“I brought you a different kind this time,” Parker said, smiling. “Try it, see if you like it.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Buffy said, setting it on the table in front of her.

“I need to loosen you up,” Parker said, laughing.

Buffy whipped her head around to look at his and locked eyes, silently questioning his previous statement.

Parker sensed he had touched a nerve. He quickly covered. “You know, so we can go out there and dance, have fun…”

Buffy eyed him up and down. “Right…”

Parker could see he had really stepped in it, and afraid he may have pissed her off, decided to back off a little. “I’m sorry if my eagerness is putting you off. I just thought we would be cool friends and have a good time. And I was looking forward to having the prettiest girl at the party on my arm. But, I can see you’re unhappy,” Parker turned on the puppy dog eyes. “Do you want me to take you home?”

After listening to Parkers botched apology Buffy felt bad, and calmed down. “No, no I don’t want to leave yet. I just… I need to take it slow with the alcohol, okay?”

Buffy could have sworn she saw a flash of annoyance come across his face for a split second, but then he flashed that charm smile again.

“Of course,” he said picking the drink up. He held it in front of her. “Just do me a favor. I want you to take a sip, just to try it and see if you like it. It’s a cosmopolitan.”

Buffy took the cup and looked down into it, noting that indeed it was a different color.

Afraid she was staring at the floating objects in the drink, Parker quickly explained. “I even put real cranberries and a slice of lime in there to make it fruitier.”

Buffy took a small sip and noted immediately that it was much better than the rum-with-a-smidgen-of-coke he’d given her earlier. “This is much better, thank you.”

Parker smiled and stood. “You wanna dance with me?”


x X x X x X x


“Dru, you bitch,” Spike muttered to himself as he flipped through the pile of pictures Willow had found.

“Um, is there a way for you to prove they’re not new?” Wil asked, still blushing. Never in her life did she think she would see Spike in such an intimate situation. She already couldn’t get the image out of her mind. Her blush darkened.

“Yeah,” Spike said, turning a picture toward the red head. “See my lower back in this picture?”

Willows face turned tomato red and she squeaked as she turned away, shielding her eyes. “Oh my goodness!”

Spike ignored her reaction and turned the picture so he could look at it again. “Month’s after these were taken I got a tattoo on my lower back. That’s how I can prove it.”

“There you guys are,” Xander said coming into the room, startling the others. “What are you doing in here?”

“Exonerating Spike,” Willow said. “How did you know where to find us?”

“Not important right now. Look, I did some snooping…”

“What kind of snooping?” Willow asked. Spike turned his attention to Xander.

“I started talking to some of Parker Abrams past flings, and I asked some questions and, shockingly enough, got some answers.”

“What did you find out?” Spike crossed his arms.

“For a long time Parker was a hound, taking different girls on dates every night, making plans with girls before he had even gone out with others… that sort of thing.”

“So Parker isn’t serious about going out with Buffy?” Willow asked, hopeful.

Xander put a hand up. “Let me finish. Every girl I talked to said Parkers only objective was to get them in bed…”

“But, they went as just-friends…”

Xander ignored her and kept talking. “Three girls that went out with him in the last few months don’t remember a thing from the night they went out with him and suspect they were drugged.”

Willow was speechless.

Spikes jaw clenched as he saw red. “Where is the party?”

“Majority of the girls were taken to U.C. Sunnydale,” Xander shrugged. “But I don’t know exactly where on campus-”

Spike stormed out of the room yelling behind him. “Get in the car, now!”


x X x X x X x


Buffy came out of the bathroom dizzy and hot, wiping the remainder of a sip of tap water off her mouth. Her empty cup was in hand and in a quick decision she decided to head to the make-shift bar and ask for another. “With the fruity thingies, please.”

Her eyes were glossy as she made her way over to the sofa where Parker was waiting.

“Feel better?” he asked, knowing she’d gotten dizzy while dancing.

Buffy half smiled and sat down next to him, taking a long gulp of her Cosmo.

Parker grinned as he watched her drink three quarters of her drink down in a matter of minutes, knowing that any minute now he would be able to do whatever he wanted without a fight.

“I’m getting *hiccup* really tired,” Buffy said leaning closer to Parker. “Is there anywhere I can rest for a few minutes?”

Parkers smile widened as he put his arm around Buffy, who was now slumping against him a bit. “Yeah, I know a spot. Come on,” he said as he stood, bringing Buffy with him.

As they ascended the stairs Parker gave a thumbs up to his friend who looked up at him nervously, hoping to god Parker wouldn't hurt her or take it too far.


x X x X x X x


Spike reached backwards to hand his cell phone to Willow as he sped down the only highway in Sunnydale. “Call her cell, see if she’ll pick up,” he said.

“I wish I would have thought to ask around sooner,” Xander said. “I could have prevented all this.”

Spike glanced over at him before turning his eyes back to the road. “Hey, don’t worry about it. You figured it out, that’s huge. We might even make it there before anything happens.”

Xander shook his head and looked out the window. “I hope so.”

“She’s not answering,” Willow interrupted. “Even when I call from restricted…”

“Fuck…” Spike muttered.

Willow slumped back against the back seat and chewed on her thumb nail. She already had the sickening feeling that they were too late.


x X x X x X x


Buffy lay flat on her back, eyes opening and closing slowly as if everything was in slow motion. Parker scooted onto the bed next to her, cooing and shushing her, telling her to rest her eyes and take a nap.

Buffy closed her eyes and felt as Parkers hand began to caress her breast through her shirt, squeezing almost painfully hard at some points. She felt as he slipped that same hand up under her shirt and come in contact with her flesh. It made her skin crawl wherever he touched.

She felt as Parker moved on top of her, pressing his erection into her thigh. He used one hand to tilt her head toward him, and before she knew it he was shoving his slimy tongue into her mouth. She managed a whimper but that only seemed to egg him on. He became more forceful as he started grinding his pelvis against hers.

She reached a hand up ever so slightly to rest on his hip as he pulled his own shirt off of himself.

He was straddling her knees now, rubbing his hands up and down her thighs, feeling up the tight fitting black material she was wearing, trying to decide the best way to get them off.

Buffy slipped two fingers into his pants pocket and he smirked, leaning forward to untie her shirt when she grabbed a hold of something in his pocket, opened her eyes, and kneed him as hard as she could between the legs.

“Oh!” he yelled out as he grabbed his now throbbing dick and fell off of Buffy and into the fetal position.

Things were no longer slow motion as she jumped up from the bed to stand next to him. “You son of a bitch!” Buffy screamed at him as she held up the small baggie of pills she snatched from his pocket.

“What the fuck!” he yelled, looking up at her.

“You think you can just drug girls and have sex with them anyway you want?” she screamed, tears threatening to spill. “It’s RAPE!”

Parkers expression suddenly turned from pain to rage and he sprung off the bed and came at Buffy.

In a quick move she outstretched her arm and thrust her palm upward as hard as she could against his nose, listening to the cracking noise as it broke. He yelled out in pain and she once again kneed him as hard as she could in the groin, successfully dropping him to the floor.

Quickly she grabbed her jacket and her purse and pulled out her phone, putting it to her ear and opening the door to the room they were currently occupying, leaving Parker to roll on the floor holding his bruised penis.

“I need a taxi at U.C. Sunnydale, please. Lowell House Fraternity,” she said and snapped her phone shut as she walked briskly down the stairs and back into the party.

Not a single person she walked by seemed to notice what had just gone on upstairs, and that really bothered her.

The cool night air felt good against her hot skin as she walked out the front door. Her whole body was shaking, and looking over to her left she saw a bench that was calling her name. She sat down and let out a shaky breath, counting down the seconds until her taxi arrived.

Sighing in relief when it arrived, Buffy quickly slipped into the back seat and shut the door. “Sunnydale Police Station, please.”


x X x X x X x


Spike swerved around a taxi as it pulled out of the Lowell House circle and quickly took it’s spot out front. “Come on,” he said opening the door. “Everybody split up, look for any sign of Buffy or Abrams.”

No other words were exchanged; each of them went their separate ways and began looking for Buffy and Parker. When no one could find either of them Spike stormed up the stairs and began putting his ear to every door.

The sounds of Abrams’ voice caught Spikes attention and he immediately shoved open the door to the room the voice had come from.

Sitting on the edge of the bed was Parker, his shirt was back on and his nose was gushing blood. His friend held a pack of ice to the back of his neck. When they looked up and saw Spike they froze.

“Where is she?” Spike gritted out between his teeth.

Parker put his hands up in front of himself. “I didn’t do anything, man.”

Spike lurched forward and Parkers friend backed away. Spike grabbed Parker by the shirt and whirled him around, smashing his back up against the wall.

“Where… Is… She…” he tried again.

Parker was shaking like a leaf and when he once again didn’t answer him, Spike lifted him up off the floor, really startling him with his rage.

Just looking at him made Spike want to kill him, and with no warning at all he let go with one hand and delivered an uppercut to Parkers stomach, eliciting a strangled ‘oomph’ from the battered man.

“She took off!” he finally managed. “She kicked my ass and took off. I don’t know where she went, I swear!”

“Ahem… Spike?” Willow interrupted.

Spike looked up to find Willow and Xander standing in the door way with a police officer.

Spike released Parker with a push and pointing a finger in his face, centimeters away from his eye balls. “You ever come near her again and I will kill you,” he said, then backed off.

Parker looked at the officer and pointed toward Spike. “Are you going to let him threaten me like that?” he asked, gasping for air.

The officer smirked and pulled out his cuffs. “Yep. Parker Abrams, you are under arrest for the attempted rape of Miss Buffy Summers…”

Willow and Xander smiled at each other, then over at Spike, silently communicating that Buffy was the one to send the officer, and that she was safe at the Police Station.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford one, one will be appointed to you.”

Spike smirked as he watched the officer haul Parker out of the room, and followed as they made their way down the stairs. The party stopped to watch as Parker was placed in the back of the police cruiser, and then continued after the officer was out of sight.

Parker’s friend watched as the cruiser pulled away. Xander came up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, startling him.

“I know you’re Parkers little lackey,” Xander said, talking quietly so no one else would hear. “But if you know what’s good for you, you’ll do the right thing and testify against him if this goes to court. I’ve got a lot of witnesses that put you close by every time something like this happens…”

The boy stood there speechless as Xander slapped him, rather violently, on the back twice before walking away.

“Come on,” Willow said rounding up both guys. “Let’s go wait for her at home.”

The three friends piled back into Spikes car and rode the entire way back into town in silence.


TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: Aftermath





Buffy looked up from her hands as the police cruiser came to a stop in her driveway. The officer didn’t say a word as he shut off the engine and got out of the car, coming around to her side to open the door for her.



She looked up at him appreciatively as he walked her up to her front door.



“I’m sorry you had to go through all this tonight, miss. Thank you for all your help. We’ll let you know how the investigation goes,” the officer said to her.



She looked back and forth between the key in her hand and her front door, feeling numb and unsure of what she should do next. “Thank you for the ride home, officer.”



He nodded curtly at her, sensing her eagerness to get into the safely of her own home. He didn’t blame her. “Goodnight Miss Summers.”



Buffy forced a small smile and stuffed the key into the key hole, pushing open the door and entering quickly, nodding at the officer before closing the door behind her.



She kept her hands on the door as she took a deep breath, feeling a wash of relief to finally be safe in her own home again. When she pushed away to go sit in the living room to wait for her mother she came face to face with a teary-eyed Willow.



Seeing her friends face brought out the reality of the situation and she couldn’t keep her lip from trembling. Willow leapt forward and wrapped her arms around her trembling friend, trapping her in a fierce hug.



“Are you okay?” Willow asked quietly in Buffy’s ear.



Buffy nodded and sniffled. “I should have listened to you, Wil. You were right…”



Willow shook her head and pulled back to look her in the eye. “No, none of us could have known what he was up to. The only person to blame here is Parker.”



Images of what happened earlier flashed through her mind and a few more tears stained her cheeks, but before she could say anything else Xander appeared in the foyer.



“Xander,” Buffy sort of chuckled through her tears as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “What are you guys doing here? Did my mom call you?”



Willow shook her head and motioned toward Xander. “He sort of figured out what Parker was gonna do and we went to the party.”



Buffy swallowed and looked up at Xander as he pulled back to look at her.



Willow continued. “We showed up just as the police came to pick him up.”



Buffy was speechless. “How did you find out?”



Xander shrugged. “Asked around. This wasn’t the first time it happened.”



Buffy shook her head and wiped at her eyes. “How did you get all the way there and back so fast?”



Willow and Xander looked at each other then back at Buffy, and she immediately knew how. She nodded. “Spike…”



She said is name just as he stepped out of the living room into the foyer and Buffy froze. Their eyes locked and she could see the worry and concern written all over his features.



Buffy felt comforted to know that even with everything going on, and with all the harsh things she’d said to him of late, he still worried and cared for her. Everything that happened between tonight made what was going on between her and Spike look so… petty.



It felt like they had stared at each other for ages, unsure of what to say to each other or if they should say anything at all. Just as Buffy opened her mouth to say something, though, the front door opened and Joyce came bursting in.



“Oh Buffy, oh honey!” she exclaimed, dropping her purse and wrapping her daughter in a vice-like hug. “Are you alright? Why didn’t you wait for me at the station?”



Buffy watched over her mothers’ shoulder as Spike stuffed his hands in his duster pockets and look down at his feet.



“Mom, I just wanted to get out of there and come home.”



Joyce held her daughter out at an arm’s length and studied her, looking her up and down searching for marks or scratches.



“I’m fine. He didn’t get the chance to hurt me,” Buffy said holding her mother’s hand.



The room was quiet for a minute or so, no one was really sure what to say next. Mrs. Summers was the one to finally break the silence and get the show on the road. “Alright kids, I hate to kick you out but I really want Buffy to relax now,” she said looking her daughter in the eye. “Maybe go to bed?”



Buffy pulled her mother to the side. “Can Willow stay the night? Please?” Buffy’s eyes begged her mothers.



“Alright,” Joyce whispered back, unable to say no to her after her ordeal.



“Wil?” Buffy waved her over. “Will you stay here with me tonight?”



“Of course,” Willow nodded and smiled. “I’ll have Oz bring by a change of clothes,” she said and walked over to Xander.



Xander listened to Willows explanation then looked at Buffy, smiled, and let himself out the front door.



“Mrs. Summers,” Willow said. “Could I use your phone to make a couple of phone calls?”



“Of course,” Joyce smiled then waved Willow into the kitchen. “It’s right in here, follow me.”



When Willow followed Mrs. Summers into the kitchen it she left Buffy and Spike in the foyer together. It was an awkward silence where neither of them really knew what to say. There were so many things Spike wanted to say to her, to tell her about the photos and tell her he never slept with Dru.



Now, however, was not the time. She’d had a bloody awful night and though he was happy she wouldn’t be going on any more dates for a while, this wasn’t the way he’d wanted it to happen.



Buffy knew that look in his eyes. There was something he needed to say. She didn’t think she had it in her tonight, though. Not will all the stuff that was swimming in her head already. So she decided to speak before he did.



“Spike,” she said meekly.



His attention immediately fell on how small and tired she sounded. His heart instantly broke for her.



“I know you want to talk, and I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you lately…”



Spike shook his head and smiled softly at her, a gesture that made her feel a little better.



“We can talk tomorrow?” she asked and felt relieved when he nodded. “I promise.”



Spike swallowed hard and looked to make sure no one was coming before he stepped forward and pressed his forehead against hers.



Buffy closed her eyes and inhaled, surprised yet oddly comforted by his sudden close proximity. To have him so close, to smell his cologne and a hint of cigarette smoke, and to have his skin touching her skin again… it was overwhelming.



She let out a small, barely audible gasp and it moved him. “We’ll talk whenever you’re ready, kitten. I’m just glad you’re alright.”



Before Buffy could open her eyes or say anything he was gone, out the door to meet Xander, closing the front door behind him.



She opened her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, looking over just as her mother and Willow came back into the room.





x X x X x X x





Buffy had taken a long, hot shower and brushed her teeth until her tongue hurt, making sure she cleaned the sleaze right off of her. She made sure to put on her favorite pajamas, the yummy sushi ones that made her feel safe and cozy.



Everyone was treating her as if she had been raped. She hadn’t. It was just a very close call. One that may have actually occurred, had she not been paying close attention. She felt like she should be a little more scared or shaken up, but she wasn’t. She was just pissed and disappointed. Disappointed in herself for jumping in too fast.



She had made a fool of herself.



Walking out of the bathroom she placed a reassuring smile on her face and greeted her mother and Willow where they sat talking quietly in Buffy’s bedroom.



Willow was on one side of Buffy’s bed, also in her pajama’s with her feet under the covers. Joyce was sitting in the chair in the corner, a tray of snacks in her lap.



“Feeling a little better, honey?” Joyce asked as Buffy layed down next to willow, also covering her feet with the bed spread.



“Much better. I scrubbed the sleaze off of me.



Joyce smiled, happy and relieved to see her daughter smiling and acting normal. The last thing she wanted was for this to scar her somehow, or make her untrusting of people.



Buffy sighed and leaned back against her pillows. “Did I hear the phone ring while I was in the shower? Who was it?”



Joyce shifted slightly in her seat and cleared her throat. “It was Brett Abrams, Parkers father.”



Buffy’s eyes grew wide and her face got hot. Willow noticed her friends reaction to the name and nudged her with her elbow. “What’s up?”



Buffy shook her head and looked down at her hands, picking at her fingers. “Parker told me earlier tonight that his father was dead.”



At her daughters confession Joyce sat up straighter and put her chin up.



“Just another one of the lies I fell for tonight…”



“He threatened to sue us if we didn’t drop the charges against Parker,” Joyce said calmly.



Buffy’s head snapped up. “What?”



“Don’t worry. I called the police station and told them about the phone call and they reassured me that the Abrams’ can’t do anything to us. And they have it on record that he threatened us. We’re not dropping the charges,” Joyce said, smiling.



Buffy shook her head and rubbed her eyes. “What did I get us into?”



“This isn’t your fault, honey. In fact, I’m almost happy that he picked you, someone who was smart enough to catch him so he can’t do it again.”



Willow looked at her friend. “How did you figure it out, Buffy? I mean, you were drinking, right?”



Buffy took a deep breath and looked out of the corner of her eye at her mother who, thankfully, didn’t look angry. Just curious. So, she prepared herself to go through it and speak it all out loud again, this time to the ones she loved and cared for rather than law enforcement.



“As soon as we pulled up to the party he started acting a little over confident toward me, and it kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The party felt fine for a while. We talked and danced a couple of times and he introduced me to a few of his college buddies who made comments under their breath that made me wonder what his true intentions were.



He said we were going as ‘just friends’ but he kept making insinuations and them brushing them off as jokes.



At one point he brought me a drink called a cosmo-“



“Mmm,” Joyce said. “Those are delicious.”



Buffy and Willow both stared, open mouthed, at Joyce after her interruption, a little surprised by her comment. When Joyce noticed their stares she blushed. “Sorry. Continue…”



Buffy cleared her throat and smirked at her mom. “I was excited too because it tasted so much better than what I had before, but the other drink had gone straight through me so I went to use the bathroom, and for some reason I took the new drink with me.



I don’t know, maybe it was my subconscious that told me to bring it with me. I had left it alone long enough while dancing.”



Buffy took a deep breath and looked over at Willow who was lying on her side, her head propped up on one hand while the other rested on her side.



“While I was in the bathroom, the other drink caught up to me, making my eyes a little watery and my head hurt a little, so I sat there on the toilet with my head in my hands for a few minutes.



It was quiet in there, and I started to listen closely and I could hear a sizzling noise, like soda pop fizzling when you first pour it in a glass…



Parker had filled my drink with real cranberries he said. Well, when I looked closer, I realized one of my cranberries was fizzing at the bottom of my cup.”



Buffy took another deep breath as her mom sat beside her on the bed and put a supportive arm around her shoulder.



“When I realized what it was, I felt sick, and I threw up until there was nothing left in me, and I didn’t mind because I wasn’t sure how much of the stuff it would take to knock me out and I had already taken a couple of sips.



Once I had calmed myself down enough I dumped the drink down the sink and cleaned myself up as much as I could. I gargled some water and walked out of the bathroom, heading straight for the makeshift bar area. I asked for a half sprite, half cranberry juice and I made sure I asked for cranberries in it so it would look like the one I went into the bathroom with”



Willow smirked and shifted a little, getting excited. “So Parker wouldn’t know you were on to him…”



“I didn’t want to just sit around and wait to see what happened so I pretended to be out of it to see what would happen… and I was right.”



Wanting to spare her mother the details of being almost raped Buffy skipped to the end.



“I waited for a good moment to jump up and get the upper hand. He was shocked.



I ran outta there, called a cab and went to the police.”



It was quiet for a few moments as everyone took in what Buffy had told them and processed it.



Willow was impressed with Buffy and her ability to think in the scariest of situations. When willow first met Buffy she was vain and materialistic, only seeming to care about herself.



Buffy had come a long way in a short time, and Willow felt like a big part of that was Spike’s doing. It wasn’t until him that Buffy changed, and started acting like a normal person, and even more importantly, a friend.



Joyce hugged her daughter and kissed her head. “I’m very proud of the way you handled everything tonight, Buffy, but I’m your mother and you know I have to say it. Don’t put yourself in those situations and you won’t need to worry.”



Buffy nodded. “I know, mom.”



“You shouldn’t be going out with boys you’ve just met and you shouldn’t be going to college parties where they’re serving alcohol. You’re too young.”



“I know, mom,” Buffy said looking up at her mom with tears in her eyes. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d let her down. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.



“Oh honey,” Joyce said wrapping her arms around her again. “Don’t be, it’s okay. It’s okay.”





x X x X x X x





Buffy and Willow each lay on their sides, facing each other in the dark, unable to find sleep just yet. Buffy’s mom had gone to bed some time ago, leaving the house dark and quiet.



“Buffy,” Willow said quietly, breaking the silence.



“Hm?” Buffy mumbled as she tore her eyes from the moonlit window to her friends eyes.



Willow cupped a hand under her face. “How do you know when you’re in love?”



Buffy furrowed a brow and thought for a second, staring out the window and smiling to herself as she thought about Willow possibly being in love with Oz. Perhaps she wasn’t sure of her feelings or what they meant because she hadn’t ever really been with anyone before.



Buffy knew how she’d felt when she was in love, and the thoughts and images alone put the slightest of smiles on her face.



“When you’re in love, Wil, you smile at the thought of the person you’re with, and your stomach does flips, no matter how often you see them.”



Willow smiled as she saw Buffy start to zone out as she spoke.



“All you can think about is when you’re going to see him again and the sound of his voice makes you smile even when you’re mad. His smiles make your knees weak and you wish he would look at you like that forever.



Nothing can touch you when you’re together, and you feel like the happiest person in the world. But, even though you’re so happy, you’re so afraid of losing him, and you can’t help but let that thought scare you.



You can’t breathe, and the only thing that makes you feel better is his arms around you…”



Willow watched as Buffy’s words tailed off and saw that her eyes had completely glossed over. She felt bad making her feel the way she did, but she had a teensy suspicion that this would work, and so after a few moments of silence she swallowed and spoke.



“Is that how you felt when you were with Riley?”



Buffy’s eyes darted from the moonlit window to her friend who was staring back at her, waiting for an answer. She was surprised, she really hadn’t expected Riley’s name to come up just then. Maybe Willow had assumed Buffy had felt all those things when she was with Riley. For the most part, however, she hadn’t.



There was only one person so far who had made her feel like that.



“No,” Buffy whispered. “I didn’t feel that way with Riley.”



Willow was relieved, and watched as Buffy’s eyes focused on the window once again. There was hope for them yet.



Not feeling the need to say anything else, seeing that the wheels in Buffy’s mind were turning, Willow turned over and got comfortable. “Goodnight, Buffy.”



Buffy swallowed and sucked in an unsteady breath, staring out the window, mind racing. After the day she’d had, and as exhausted as she was, she doubted she would sleep well at all tonight.





x X x X x X x





Spike sat on his windowsill, guarded by the shadows, the only proof of his presence being the red tip of his smoldering cigarette.



He didn’t know how, but he felt that despite how late it was, and how tired she must have been, that his Buffy was still laying in her bed, wide awake. He didn’t know when it started, or how it worked, but he could feel her, now more than ever.



It sounded ridiculous, he knew, for a teenaged guy to be able to feel the one he loves, but he didn’t care how crazy it sounded. He just knew he did, and all he cared about was getting her back, and making sure she was alright.



No matter how long it took.





TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR: The Talk


The weekend had come and gone and much to Buffy’s relief, no one acted differently at school on Monday morning. No one seemed to know what had happened at U.C. Sunnydale over the weekend and as far as she knew, no one really cared or thought about why Parker hadn’t come to school. It was a huge weight off of her shoulders to know people wouldn’t be staring at her and whispering around her for another reason. The fiasco with Riley had been enough.

Buffy was also relieved to know that Willow, Xander, and Spike hadn’t said anything to anyone either, as they were the only people in school to know what happened.

Even though Buffy had promised Spike they would talk on Saturday, he hadn’t come looking to take her up on her offer. He’d left her alone all weekend, not even calling or sending a text message like he had after Dru had left town.

Dru. Buffy knew that was what Spike wanted to talk to her about, too. He was going to tell her that nothing had happened between them, that they hadn’t slept together like she thought.

Buffy wanted it to be the truth, and if she was honest with herself, and listened to her heart, she knew Spike was telling the truth.

The morning bell rang, bringing Buffy from her thoughts and rousing her to get ready for class. With a deep breath she tossed some books into her locker, grabbing the ones necessary for her morning classes, and heading off to homeroom.


x X x X x X x


It was the class before lunch when it dawned on Buffy that she would probably be sitting at the same table as Spike, and therefore would possibly have to have ‘the talk’ in a forty five minute period surrounded by most of the school. Although that thought didn’t exactly appeal to her, she started to gather her thoughts enough to form actual words in order to express to Spike exactly how she was feeling.

It was hard, especially because a lot of what she would have to say to him would be based off of whatever news he had for her regarding his ex.

He wants them to be an item, she knew that, but after everything that’s happened the last few months and weeks, she wasn’t so sure that was what she wanted anymore. She needed some quiet time in her head, with no outside influences in order to know what she really wanted.

The bell rang, ending her last class before lunch and thus, bringing her from her thoughts for the moment and sending her on a path that caused her heart to race and her palms sweat.

Walking out of the classroom and down the hall she spotted Willow waiting for her at her locker, and she instantly felt better. At least she would have others nearby and they wouldn’t leave her hanging in an awkward position.

As Buffy approached her locker and Willow saw her, she smiled. “Hey, Buf.”

“Hey, Wil,” Buffy smiled as she worked on her locker combination.

“How is everything today? I mean,” she said looking around briefly then lowering her voice. “You know…”

Buffy smiled and nodded, reassuring her friend and feeling a surge of gratitude for her concern. “Everything’s great. No one seems to know anything.”

Willow nodded and smiled. “Good.”

The two girls were silent for a moment as Buffy put her books away and grabbed a few things to take with her to the cafeteria. She was so tempted to ask Willow whether or not Spike would be at lunch today, but she was afraid of giving her the wrong impression as to why. Her question, however, was answered as soon as Xander approached.

“My girls!” he announced with his arms in the air. “My friends…” he said as he wrapped one arm around each girl. “My girly friends…”

Both Buffy and Willow chuckled as Buffy closed her locker and began walking with Xander.

“Spike is already in the cafeteria waiting for us. Are we ready to dine upon the greatest feast Sunnydale High hath ever presented?”

Willow turned toward her friends and played along. “Oh are we having tuna loaf and lima beans again already?”

Buffy chuckled and shook her head, but quickly lost track of the conversation as her mind started racing.

Spike was just down the hall, in the cafeteria waiting for them. It had only been a week or two since their last real civilized conversation, Friday night not included, and she suddenly wasn’t so sure how to go about acting normal around him.

The moment the double doors to the lunch room opened, however, and Buffy laid eyes on Spike sitting at the table, her heart betrayed her mind and she found her stomach fluttering. It honestly made her question whether or not there was something wrong with her.

Then, to make matters worse, he looked up at her and she could swear that his eyes sparkled at her. She couldn’t fight the blush that formed as she approached the table. She was so distracted she didn’t even hear the snort that came from Harmony, the girl to replace her at her old lunch table, as she passed by her former friends.

She only hoped she had the strength to keep her composure and tell him she needed time alone.



Spike looked up when he saw the door open out of the corner of his eye, and his breath hitched as his eyes immediately landed on hers.

So many emotions coursed their way through him as he saw her walking with their mutual friends. She was looking right at him, walking her way over to the table where he sat waiting, and she wasn’t running away.

That had to count for something, right?

Spike could feel Riley Finn’s eyes on him as Buffy walked past their table, but he wouldn’t give the poof the satisfaction of acknowledging him. It appeared that Finn wasn’t quite over the blonde beauty, despite his harsh words and alliance with Cordelia and Harmony.

He wasn’t worried about Riley, though. He already knew Buffy would choose him over Riley. She already had.

All those thoughts, however, vanished from his mind as he noticed her hesitation when it came to choosing a seat at the small round table. There were two available seats after Willow and Xander sat down; one next to Xander and one next to Spike. Her hesitation cost her the choice, though, as Oz walked up and took the spot between Willow and Xander, leaving only the seat next to Spike.

Spike sat back in his seat and nodded at Xander and Oz as everyone else took their seats. Buffy quietly took hers between Willow and Spike, not speaking but sparing glances over at him every now and then.



The situation was not comfortable, and Buffy was a little peeved at Willow for leaving her hanging in the wind as she had her own private conversation with the other two.

No awkward positions, my ass…

Attempting to find a distraction, Buffy pulled out an orange and began busying herself with peeling away the rind, hoping that she wasn’t coming off as cold.



Spike wanted very badly to ask how she was doing, or offer to get her something to drink, but she was avoiding his gaze, and that alone was keeping him back. He didn’t know where to start.

He felt as if he were to speak, he would stammer or say something stupid or corny. He felt good after their brief encounter on Friday night, and he felt his exit had been just right. He didn’t want to ruin his cool by sounding scared or nervous.

Then, just as he was thinking about doing something goofy, like homework, he came up with something he hoped wouldn’t get him scoffed at, but that he was willing to try.

Grabbing one of Xander’s notebooks, which earned him a brief glare from the brunette, Spike pulled out a page and scribbled something down before slipping it within Buffy’s view.



Buffy wrinkled her brow and suppressed a smirk as she saw the piece of paper being pushed by a set of fingers with familiar chipped black nail polish.

She set down her citrus snack and stared at the paper briefly before looking over at Spike, who smiled shyly and shrugged.

Buffy smiled and shook her head as she pulled the note closer and read what he had written down. She blushed.

You look pretty today.

Buffy shook her head and clicked her pen, swiftly writing while trying hard not to cave and swoon at his cuteness.

Thanks Romeo. I believe we need to have a talk. After all, I promised.

Spike read the note and deflated a bit. Still smiling, he responded.

I know. I’d rather do it without an audience, though.

Buffy released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, relieved and pleased that he was feeling the same as her.

Me too. Come over tonight after seven? We’ll talk on the porch.

Spike found himself getting nervous again. The smile was gone from her face and she was chewing on her bottom lip. Her overall body language was concerning.

I’ll be there.

Buffy looked up at him and held his gaze for a few moments, hoping he understood the seriousness of the conversation to come, and hoping it didn’t cause any more chaos in their already rocky relationship.

After a moment or two of silence Spike grabbed the paper again and quickly wrote something down, this time folding the paper up and slipping it back to her.

Before she could open it and read it, however, Spike excused himself from the table, saying he needed a cigarette before his next class, and left the cafeteria.

Willow looked over at Buffy with a look that asked ‘what happened.’ Buffy smiled and shook her head, sending Willow back to her conversation with her boys.

When Buffy was sure no one in the room was watching her, she unfolded the piece of paper and read what he had written.

Buffy, you’re beautiful every day. See you at seven.

Buffy brushed her fingers across her lips as she tried to hide the traitorous smile that formed before she folded the paper up and stuck it in her purse.


x X x X x X x


Buffy waited on her front porch and watched as the sun started to disappear behind the trees, causing the temperature to decrease significantly as nightfall approached.

She sat on the porch glider, her legs curled up under her as she clutched her sweater closed over her chest. She closed her eyes as a calm breeze blew across her face. She wished she could feel relaxed, when at the moment she was anything but.

She was scared, afraid of what was about to transpire and what would become of her friendship with Spike after their conversation.

All day since their lunch period, Buffy worked on what she wanted to say to Spike, and tried to think of different things to say without escalating anything or feeling like she was going to make matters worse. By the time seven o’clock came around she was pretty sure she knew what she had to say.

It was perfect timing too, because the sound of a twig snapping brought her from her thoughts and she opened her eyes to find the very subject of her thoughts standing at the base of the porch, as expected.

Buffy swallowed. “Hello, Spike.”

Spike tilted his head and looked at her softly. “Buffy.”

A lengthy silence followed, neither one of them sure how to begin the much anticipated conversation, and thus causing more tension between the two.

Buffy shifted slightly under his gaze and cleared her throat. “So,” she began. “You said you wanted to say something to me about Dru…”

Spike nodded and watched his own feet as he stepped up onto the porch and came to sit on the ledge, facing Buffy. “Um,” he took a deep breath, trying to choose his words. “I know about the pictures you saw, of me and Dru…”

Buffy swallowed and blushed, then held her chin high and looked him in the eye. “I did.”

Spike nodded. “They’re old, Buffy. Taken before I met you.”

Buffy had expected him to say that, but when she thought about how she saw her touching him that night through the window, she grew defensive.

“Not to start another fight, but how do I know you’re not just lying?”

“Because I know which pictures you saw, and I can tell you to look at one that shows my back,” he said pointing a thumb over his shoulder. “I didn’t have my tattoo yet when those were taken, but I’ve had it for as long as I’ve known you.”

Buffy thought about it for a second and felt tears form on the brim of her eyes. That never dawned on her to check something like that, and in her heart she knew he was telling the truth.

“But I saw you; the night we talked on the phone… she had her arms around you…”

Spike shook his head and moved to sit next to her on the glider. “You didn’t stick around for the big finale,” he chuckled. “I told her to shove off and I locked ‘er out of my room. She had packed up and left by the next morning,” he said motioning toward her. “Though, not before leaving you a cruel present I s’pose.”

Buffy was quiet for a few moments, taking the time and quiet to process everything she’d just learned. It all made sense, and she was angry at herself for not taking the time to listen and learn all this sooner. Had she been less of a drama queen and actually listened to what he had to say that afternoon he’d barged into her home, she probably wouldn’t have gone to the party with Parker, and this whole mess could have been avoided.

That was really why she was mad. It was all actually her fault.

Spike felt good, he could tell by the expression on her face and by her body language that she believed him, but her avoidance of his gaze made him question whether or not he should ask the important question that he needed answered.

“Buffy,” he said quietly, moving his head to catch her gaze and hold it. “You and me,” he said as she stared back at him with glossy eyes. “Are we… okay?”

Unable to exactly handle him being so close to her, she stood up and walked to the end of the porch. She turned and quickly faced him. “I-I don’t know, Spike. There’s just so much going on right now…”

Spike grit his teeth and nodded as he chipped some paint off of his nails.

Buffy instantly felt guilty, after all she’d just admitted to herself that pretty much everything had been her fault, and he was being extremely patient with her and her slow brain.

With a sigh she stepped a little closer to him and sat down on a chair opposite him, fidgeting with her hands. “I mean,” she shook her had. “I don’t know what I mean.”

Spike leaned forward on his knees and looked up at her. “Buffy, this… shit that has gone on with me and you, it was all a lot of misunderstandings. And the thing with Finn-“

“I was going to tell him, Spike, I swear. I don’t know why I didn’t do it right away I just-“

“I know. I know that now, but at the time…” Spike sat back and looked at her. “I was afraid I was just being used. I didn’t handle it well.”

Again, the guilt hit Buffy full force as she looked into his eyes. Regardless, she knew something wasn’t right. Something didn’t feel right. “Spike, I’m so sorry for all of this. I know it’s my fault, and you didn’t deserve what you got, but me and you,” she said then paused.

Spike sat back. He knew that look, that tone in her voice. Nothing good would come of it.

Buffy rubbed at her tired eyes. “We moved way too fast. We didn’t do things right.”

Spike stood and paced for a second. “We didn’t do them wrong either, Buffy.”

She looked down at her hands again. She’d set him off.

“Buffy, pet,” he said as he kneeled in front of her. “Everything we did felt completely right. If it felt so right, how could it be wrong?”

Buffy tilted her head and pressed a palm to his cheek. “Spike,” she said licking her lips. “I can’t just go back to the way things were. We need to back pedal a little bit…”

Spike stood up and turned his back to her, trying to make sense of what was happening. Things had been going so well, and then suddenly she threw a curve ball at him.

“Spike, I’m not saying that we can’t go back to that eventually,” she said standing behind him. “I’m just asking that you give me a little time to recoup, make sure that this is what we both really want. I just need to think about some stuff before going headlong into a relationship again.”

With his hands on his hips he turned and faced her, pleading with his eyes for her to stop.

“Too much has gone on and I just need a little time to be on my own and make decisions for myself, ones that don’t involve me going on dates with assholes just to make you jealous.” Buffy sucked in a gulp of air and waited for his response, feeling guilty about possibly hurting him, but needing to be firm about her feelings.

Spike couldn’t describe the disappointment swelling up inside him. He had day dreamed about coming over here, telling her the truth about the pictures and sweeping her off her feet. Maybe it was selfish, but he hadn’t expected to be pushed back again when he just got her speaking to him again.

He took a deep breath and slapped a fake smile on his face. If she wanted time, fine, he would give her time. But he wouldn’t sit back and watch quietly if another bloke came into the picture. “Alright.”

Buffy blinked a few times, surprised that he didn’t put up a little more of a fight. “You’re not mad at me?”

Spike couldn’t help the small smile that traitorously formed as he looked at her big eyes and nervous smile. He felt like a kicked puppy, but he also knew that he needed to give her this one. He reached an arm out and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head in a loving manner. “No, pet, I can’t be mad.”

Buffy was surprised, to say the least, but more importantly, relieved. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him, it was just that she wanted to be his friend before she was his girlfriend. She pulled away and Spike immediately felt the loss of her in his arms. “Well,” Buffy said with a sniffle as she backed away from him, rubbing her arms. “I guess I’ll see you in school tomorrow?”

Spike nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You got a ride in the morning?”

Buffy blushed and tightened her sweater around her body. “No.”

Spike felt a little better. “I’ll pick you up. Around seven thirty?”

Buffy tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and smiled. “Okay. Thanks.”

Spike didn’t know what else to say. He felt relieved and like he’d had his manhood cut off at the same time. He had his girl back without really having her back. It was a bitter sweet feeling. With one last deep breath Spike huffed up his chest and nodded curtly at her, stepping around and going down the porch steps and making his way across the front lawn.

Buffy knew that she had done the right thing, by holding things off for a bit while things cooled down; her brain was telling her that. But why did she feel like she’d kicked him to the curb? Blown him off? “Spike!” she called out as she spun around.

He turned and faced her, still walking backwards toward his house. He raised his chin.

“It’s not for forever, you know,” Buffy said with a slight smile and a tilt of her head. “I just… I have to… to finish baking. You know, like… cookie dough.”

Spike stared for a moment as he tried to understand her kooky Buffy logic then chuckled and shook his head. She was too bloody… cute.

At his laugh Buffy looked shyly at her hands for a moment then with completely seriousness looked back up. “I’m just not done yet…”

Spike stopped his backward stroll and looked deep into her eyes from where he was standing on the sidewalk. As serious and straight faced as he’d ever been, he sucked in a deep breath and spoke. “I know what you mean, luv. You just let me know when you’re ready, yeah?” With one final smile, just as the sun completely set, Spike turned and walked across the street and into his home.

Buffy, feeling sated and excited at the same time, pressed her fingers to her lips and blew a silent kiss across the street, eternally grateful for the way things went today and his patience with her. She walked into the house and turned in for the night, looking forward to the ride to school in the morning.


TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE: Enough



Spike left and Buffy slowly made her way up to her bedroom, running the events of the day through her head again and again. It never ceased to amaze her how much could change in such a short period of time. Only three weeks ago she was with Riley, albeit unhappily, but she had enjoyed her friendships with Cordy and Angel in that time. It was clear not whose side they were on, though, and yet she couldn’t help but wonder if she had just done things differently, if she was honest from the get-go and up front about her relationship with Spike from the beginning, maybe Cordy and Angel would have liked him, and welcomed him into their little clique.



Buffy released a small sigh as she stepped into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Even if Cordy and Angel had welcomed Spike, he himself wouldn’t have gone for it. That sort of thing just wasn’t his style. Spike was a Shawn Hunter type; the cool kid who wouldn’t leave his less fortunate dorky friends behind, and Buffy liked him better that way.



Calmly, Buffy walked over to her bedside and sat, placing her hands carefully on her lap and looked around the room. Nothing moved or made any sound, save for the gentle spring breeze blowing her curtains around. She was just left with one simple question.



Where did she go from here?



x X x X x X x



Spike couldn’t help but feel a little let down. He knew it wouldn’t be as simple as a clarification of misunderstandings and a few simple smiles to get them back in each others arms, but he still hoped it would have. All he wanted at this point was to go back a couple of weeks, wipe them clean and start fresh.



As he trudged up the stairs to his room he found his energy was deflating, and slowly and lazily he peeled his jacket off, leaving it in a heap on the floor just inside his bedroom door. He needed a shower; he needed to ease the tension out of his neck and shoulders, his whole body, with some hot water. Maybe he’d even get some sleep tonight, knowing now where he stood, and that Buffy didn’t hate him nor did he hate her, and maybe now he could sleep well, dreaming of good things to come.



x X x X x X x



Willow hung up the phone with Buffy and smiled to herself as she snuggled herself down under the comforter and into her pillow. Progress had been made, finally, for Buffy and Spike. Their little relationship drama shouldn’t be a main concern for the intelligent red-head, but undoubtedly it was and it was a weight lifted off her chest knowing that her two newest friends, who she’d become quite fond of over the weeks and months, weren’t going at each others throats anymore. It made for one hell of a collective sigh of relief, and a very good night.



Willow flipped off the light on the bed side table and let sleep take her with a smile on her lips.



x X x X x X x



Xander smiled and nodded his head at the instant message he’d found waiting on his computer when he’d gotten out of the shower and come back down to his room. Things were finally settling down a bit. It was comforting and warming to find that things were finally looking up again. Perhaps the end to their senior year in high school would be better than any of them had anticipated.



x X x X x X x



Days passed and Buffy and Spike had found themselves falling into a mostly comfortable and only slightly awkward routine of riding together to and from school. Most days Willow and/or Xander would ride home with them, making the silence a little easier by providing a distraction from the other. A conversation between three or all four of them was much easier than when they were alone. The more they were alone, greater was the possibility of the topic of them coming up.



Spike was grateful and irritated at the same time. Grateful that she was there with him in his car, albeit in the back seat with red, but she was there and speaking to him. It was driving him crazy not knowing what was going through her head, though, and he found himself fearing she would like him better as a friend than a lover.



There was no way he would ever be able to keep himself at a distance, to be a friend and nothing more. Already the urges to hold her hand or wrap an arm around her shoulder or pull her into a kiss was so strong. The only thing keeping him going was the promise of eventually. She had, after all, said this tentative relationship wouldn’t be forever. He just hoped it didn’t take too long.



The car was mostly quiet, save for Xander singling along with the radio, and Spike found himself looking into the rear view mirror to look at Buffy without her knowing it. Mostly she would be chatting with Willow and staring out the window, but this last time when he looked back at her she had her hand cupped next to Willow’s ear as she whispered something to her, smiling as she did so. His eyes darted from the mirror to the road and back to the mirror again and he watched Willows reaction. She smiled and looked excited. Why? He really wanted to know. The smile on Buffy’s face when she pulled away had him very intrigued.



Spike looked back to the road. “What’s all that about, then?” he asked, shifting slightly in the drivers seat.



The girls looked forward and feigned innocence.



He looked at them in the mirror once again and arched his scarred brow. “Secrets don’t make friends, ladies, especially not in my car. What’s going on?” It was really none of his business, he knew that, but you can’t blame a bloke for trying.



Buffy leaned forward slightly in her seat. “Wil’s gonna come over my house for a little bit, okay?”



Xander frowned. “What about friendly Friday movie time at Spikes?”



They all looked at him with raised eyebrows. He sunk deeper into his seat and hugged his book bag. “What? You all can experiment with quirky vocabulary but I can’t?”



The group ignored him and Willow piped up. “We just need to do a little girly bonding and then we’ll be over. We can watch the movie then.”



Xander perked up again. “Girly bondage?”



Spike and Buffy made eye contact in the rear view mirror again and Spike quirked a brow at her, setting her cheeks on fire and causing her to look away abruptly.



Willow leaned forward and smacked Xander on the shoulder. “Bond-ING, Xander. Get your mind out of the gutter.”



Xander rubbed at his arm where Willow had hit him and moped. “I really need to get a girlfriend…” The other passengers in the car chuckled.



Spike pulled into his driveway and he and Xander quickly got out, pulling their seats forward and doing the gentlemanly thing by holding out their hands so the girls could hoist themselves out of the back seat. Buffy blushed when her hand was encased by Spikes, and she let it linger there a little longer than need be before pulling her hand back and stepping out of the way of the closing car door. She stared silently at him for a moment before clearing her throat and stepping backwards toward where Willow now waited for her at the foot of the driveway. “Thanks for the ride… again.”



Spike nodded and before he knew it she had her back turned to him and she and red were practically running across the street to the Summers’ home. Spike suddenly felt like he was missing something. All week she had been normal and talking to him, and now out of no where she was quiet and reserved again. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d done something wrong to cause the distance.



Xander came around and gave him a slap on the back, bringing him out of his thoughts and toward his front door.



x X x X x X x



Buffy lay flat on her stomach on her bedroom floor as Willow looked through the large tub of nail polish colors on Buffy’s desk. Buffy fiddled with the dials on her stereo, trying to find a descent station that would actually play more music than commercials. She had finally decided on a station when the sultry beat and all too familiar imagery of the song caught her attention.



Willow walked over to her and handed her a bottle of dark red polish that contained a little shimmery glitter. “This one, please.”



Buffy grabbed the bottle and propped herself up ob her elbows, shaking then unscrewing the cap as Wil sat on the bed before her, leaving her bare toes within a foot of Buffy’s reach.



Without a word Buffy began painting the shiny vibrant polish onto Willows normally goofy-sock-covered toes. Willow watched with a smile, and though once again how much she loved having Buffy as a friend. Xander would always be her best friend, there was no doubt, but his male-ness definitely inhibited their ability to do certain girly friend things together. She’d never had this kind of friendship before, and she was certain Xander felt the same way about Spike. He’d had Jesse up until freshman year, then his family moved away, and Xander seldom heard from him anymore. Maybe having Spike as a friend would teach Xander the ways of cool so he could impress a girl, then she could bring Oz along and they could be a six-some rather than a four-some. That was, assuming Buffy and Spike ever fully worked things out between them.



The room was quiet, save for the stereo playing as Willow was lost in her own thoughts, much like Buffy. As she moved to paint one toe, and then another, and then another, Buffy couldn’t help but listen to the words of the song that played. What goes around comes around. Sure, it was a silly pop-riddled Justin Timberlake song, but the words rang true enough, and in an instant they hit close to home.



The song no longer felt like it was playing on the stereo, instead it felt like it was playing right there in her head, complete with a montage of her with Riley, her lying to Riley, being with Spike, her fight with Spike, Parker… everything. Only, instead of feeling bad for herself, or feeling kind of down, like the song sort of made you feel, she just felt responsible. She had brought all of it on herself. If only she had opened her eyes sooner she would have seen right through Riley. It wasn’t that it had snuck up on her; it was that she just simply hadn’t wanted to see.



Spike had been her savior from the grips of a stupid teenage clique and a potentially abusive relationship with someone she barely had any feelings for. He was what she hadn’t even known she was looking for, and she’d probably screwed all that up because of fear. She was afraid of what her friends would think, and so she’d lied, and before she could even come clean and fix it, make it right, she’d gotten caught.



She had figured Spike wouldn’t care, but she’d actually hurt him with her actions and though she had never intended it, he was hurt the most.



Selfishly, instead of giving him the time he deserved to forgive her, she fired one back at him by accepting a date with someone she didn’t even know. Caught off guard by the presence of his vile ex, she’d tried to retaliate. She was more than lucky to have gotten out of that party with nothing more than a sore wrist.



Spike was there for her that night despite the animosity between them. He was genuinely concerned for her, and he’d looked past his jealousy and resentment and asked if she was alright, knowing damn well she’d put herself into that position. She barely managed to thank him for his support and concern that night.



Replaying everything that had happened should have made her feel bad, and it did, to a point, but what mostly came of all of it was one simple acceptance. She was the common denominator in all of it. It was time for her to make a change, because if she didn’t she would never find happiness in this. Her poor decision making would haunt her forever, and that was certainly something she didn’t want.



Buffy screwed the cap back on the bottle of polish and stood, walking over to her bedroom window and peering out, ignoring her friends questioning stare. “Hey, Wil?” she asked, holding the curtain aside with one finger as she continued to gaze outside. She didn’t wait for the girl’s response. “Have you ever woken up one day, and all the things that were so important to you the day before, just seem so stupid now?”



Willow was at a loss for words, unsure of where this was suddenly coming from. And also, a little sad that Buffy only painted eight of her toes….



Buffy shook her head and let the curtains drop back into place. “I don’t want to live like this anymore,” she chuckled dryly. “It’s only been a couple weeks and I already know I hate it,” she said turning and looking to her friend. “If this is how this relationship is going to be then I don’t want any part of it.”



Willow felt all the hope she’d had stored up just completely drain out of her. She had been certain that things were finally changing for the better, and then Buffy threw this one at her. Willow pleaded with her eyes for her to say something different, but Buffy looked away and excused herself from the room, completely done with the discussion, and done with the topic all together.



x X x X x X x



Spike and Xander sat in Spikes bedroom, on the desk chair and on the floor, respectively, playing a game of rummy in silence. It was nearing seven o’clock and they were still waiting for the girls to arrive so they could watch their usually Friday night movie rental. Spike was becoming a bit agitated. He’d never spent so much time in one bedroom with only another guy. Not that he really had a problem with Xander, it was just… weird.



Spike threw his final hand down, exasperated. “That’s it. I’m out. One more bloody game and my head’s gonna pop off.”



Xander dropped his cards and sighed. “Oh thank you…” he said glancing at the alarm clock on the bedside table. “What do you think is taking them so long?”



Spike shrugged and wheeled his chair over to his bedroom window, pulling the blinds open and looking across the street. The only light on in Buffy’s entire house was her bedroom light, signaling they were still in there, doing god only knows what. “To hell if I know,” he murmured as he turned away from the window, letting the blinds fall back into place as he looked at the brunette boy sitting on the carpet.



Xander spared a look of sympathy and perked up a little. “Maybe they’re working on getting Buffy all sexed up and they’re gonna come over here and Buffy’s gonna be all ‘I’m so sorry I was a bitch, let me make it up to you! No, don’t get up; stay right where you are… I’ll get a pillow to kneel on…’”



Spike quirked a brow and glared at the boy. Xander snapped himself out of his mini-trance and looked up at the perturbed man. His face went red and he chuckled. “Did I say that out loud? I meant to just think it… Not that I think about Buffy on her knees a lot, er, at all, never really. This was the first and only time I swear…”



Spike just gave him a look and shook his head.



Xander gulped. “I’m gonna stop talking now.”



“Yeah,” Spike said and leaned back in his chair again. “You do that.”



Xander put his hands up in mock defense and leaned back against the foot of Spikes bed. “Don’t sweat it man. I’m sure they’re just over there giggling and putting makeup on each other to get dolled up. You know how girls are… they like to look good when they’re gonna see a guy.” Spike turned his chair around and pulled the blinds open again. Xander shrugged and mumbled to himself. “Or so I’ve heard…”



As Spike looked across the street again he sat up in his chair. “The light’s off now. They must be-“



As if on queue the doorbell rang, signaling company. Spike tried not to look too excited when he and Xander shared a look and stood at the same time. Xander put a hand out to his friend as he made his way to the bedroom door. “I’ll get it. Get yourself manly so you can woo your woman,” he said before leaving the room.



Spike felt uncharacteristically nervous. Things were finally looking up and he needed very badly not to screw this up. Quickly he made his way into the adjoining bathroom and splashed a tiny bit of cologne on himself while simultaneously checking in the mirror to be sure he looked descent.



His chest felt tight and he himself felt like at any moment he would burst into a fit of giggles like a school girl on her first date. He was beyond excited to finally have her back in his home again. There was no other girl like Buffy and he knew without a doubt that he was in love with her. Whoever thought that young adults their age couldn’t know the meaning of love was a blind idiot as far as he was concerned, because of this feeling coursing through him at the though of being with Buffy again wasn’t love, then he couldn’t even imagine how powerful and overwhelming it really did feel like. All he knew for sure was that he needed her. When she was around he felt so alive, truly happy in a way he hadn’t felt since before his parents died. She made all the bad things around him seem tolerable, and if he couldn’t be with her then none of this nonsense he had to put up with day by day was worth it.



As he sprayed some mint in his mouth he heard footsteps coming up the stairs and hushed voices. His heart started to beat so fast he thought he might have a heart attack. It was quite the rush, something he felt pretty often around Buffy. She was his drug of choice, so to speak. The only thing that continually sobered him up was the possibility that she might want to remain just friends. It had been a week of comfortable friend-conversations and hanging out amongst others, and it had been good fun. Hopefully she wouldn’t get cold feet and want to stay that way. At this point that was Spikes greatest and only fear. They had already made it through so much; he couldn’t bear it if she gave up on him now.



Hushed voices could be heard just outside his bedroom door, and Spike took one last look at himself in the mirror, smiling to himself as he stepped back into his bedroom and looked toward the door.



Xander was standing just outside the door with his back to him as he spoke to whoever was just around the corner and out of sight. Spike waited somewhat impatiently as he couldn’t quite make out what he was saying before he couldn’t take it anymore and he cleared his throat. “Ahem…”



Xander looked briefly over his shoulder and his eyes fell, looking back to the hallway before stepping aside and letting Willow into the room. Only Willow.



Spikes face fell from one of excitement to one of confusion as he leaned to the side and looked past Xander, and saw no one. Where was she?



Spikes confused eyes met Willows worried ones and he didn’t miss how she fidgeted under his stare, definitely not a good sign. His confusion turned to disappointment. “What’s going on?”



Willow looked sympathetically to her friend, taking in his freshened up state and manly-cologne scent. Her heart sank and her shoulders slumped. “She’s not coming.”



TBC

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX: She loves me, She loves me not



“She’s not coming.”

Spike stared blankly at the red head, frowning; telling himself there was no way he’d just heard that. He was imagining it, his mind playing cruel tricks on him. “Beg pardon?”

Willow looked nervously over to Xander who kicked an imaginary piece of lint, and she looked back at Spike again. “She’s not coming. She changed her mind.”

Spike took a deep breath and let himself sit on the edge of his bed with a slight bounce, running a hand through his hair and letting his gelled locks spring loose. Willow and Xander watched as he let his arm fall to his lap and as he shook his head to himself. “What exactly did she say?” he asked sadly.

Willow didn’t want to answer that question, because the more she said it the worse it sounded, and she was very much not for hurting her friend when she knew what he wanted. Reluctantly she replied. “She said she didn’t want to live her life like this anymore. That she hates it and she’s done.”

Spike visibly flinched, as did Xander upon hearing Buffy’s statement. She had seemed so normal all week; they had no idea that was how she truly felt. Willow could already see the look of guilt appearing on Spikes face. Her heart ached for him.

“Spike, this wasn’t something you could have helped. She made this decision all on her own.”

Spike shook his head. “No. No, she made this decision because of me. Bloody fuck up is what I am.”

Willows eyes went wide and she shook her head at her friend, but Spike continued before she could protest.

“Just… put the movie in. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Willow and Xander shared a look and the red head reluctantly took a seat on the floor in front of the television. She had no words to even try and explain Buffy’s actions, or to make him feel better about what was happening. The two of them were quite the emotional roller coaster. They just seemed to have stalled out at the bottom of a big U.

Xander sighed and stuffed the tape into the VHS player. He wasn’t exactly feeling up for a movie night after seeing the utter disappointment and hurt on his friends face. It wasn’t something that would just fix itself, he knew that. But for his friends’ sake, he really wished it would.

Taking his spot on the floor next to Willow he breathed out a tired sigh and pressed play.

Spike shifted himself up toward the top of his bed, leaning against the headboard as he flipped open his cell phone, hoping but not expecting to find a text message waiting for him explaining things. He wasn’t surprised when nothing was there. Sighing away his disappointment he snapped the phone shut and tossed it aside, pissed and annoyed by the way it seemed to mock him with its inactivity. The entire situation exhausted him. He tried so hard to stay positive and tell himself good things would come in time, but the waiting was killing him. He was a purely passionate person by nature, and all this sitting around doing nothing was driving him completely sack of hammers.

There was a nagging sensation in the back of his mind, though, that maybe something was wrong. Sure, Willow said that Buffy not coming didn’t change how she felt about him, but what if while Willow was using the bathroom Buffy had talked herself out of giving him a chance? What if that ice queen Cordelia had gotten to her and Buffy went back to being a bitch and Willow just didn’t notice? That thought made him feel guilty. What if, quite simply, she just plain didn’t want him? For all he knew, this could be her subtle way of telling him she just didn’t want to even try and work things out.

Just then, a thought, or memory rather, popped into Spikes mind and he instantly hated himself. They had all been sitting in the car joking around and, he though, having a good time. Xander had been a whelp and said something about girly bondage and… he hadn’t meant to, but his eyes had gone to her, and he was surprised when her eyes met his too.

Spike wasn’t the brightest, and he knew well enough not to open his mouth or he’d wind up saying something stupid or awkward, and so he’d kept his gob shut. But his damn eye brow had a mind of its own and he couldn’t help but give her a look. He never was one for shyness or modesty. He didn’t mean to offend her, or make it seem like he was expecting something from her tonight, but now he had that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him she had gotten that vibe from him, and now she’s run scared.

Spike clenched his jaw and shook his head to himself. “Wanker,” he whispered to himself.

Willow heard him, and she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness.

Spike let his head fall back against the headboard again and tired telling himself that just because she wasn’t here right now didn’t mean she wouldn’t be here eventually. His sodden eyebrow betrayed him and she felt pressured, and because of the pressure so soon after they’d both agreed to take their time, she’d gotten scared, or offended, or some combination of both, and stayed home.

Willow didn’t even know what the movie was called. She hadn’t paid any attention to it since the moment she took her seat on the floor next to her best friend. Even when she’d tried, her eyes would blur and her ears would stop listening and all she would hear was her own voice rattling on, or she’d hear Buffy or Spikes voice in her head. The more she thought on their stubbornness and stupidity when it came to decision making, the madder she became. They were equally to blame for everything that had happened, and her sympathy for them was faltering.

She was done being the middle woman. If they were going to work things out, they were going to have to do it on their own.



x X x X x X x X x



Buffy sat on the steps of her back porch, wrapped in her own arms as she watched the sun set beyond the trees. A small smile tugged at her lips as the continuous feeling of relief and excitement coursed through her. For the first time in a long time, she felt relaxed.

The decision she’d come to make was all her own, with no outside influence of any kind. She’d lost some life long friends, and it opened her eyes to what she wanted back, to what she missed. This was going to be for the best, she knew that, and nothing was going to have her second guessing herself this time.

“Buffy?” Joyce called from the doorway, pulling Buffy from her inner thoughts. “Buffy, honey, what are you doing out here all by yourself? It’s Friday night, aren’t you going out?” she asked as she came to stand beside where her daughter sat.

Buffy shrugged and pursed her lips, keeping her eyes forward. “Just thinking, I guess. And watching the sunset…” she sighed. “Don’t feel much like going out right now.”

Joyce gazed down on her daughter, amazed at the changes she’d seen in her in the recent weeks. Gone was the superficial bubble gum blonde beauty queen. Here before her sat an older, wiser, and more grown up and loving version of the girl she raised. Part of her was sad to see her growing up, the other part couldn’t have been more proud.

“What are you thinking about?” Joyce asked, her voice filled with hope. It wasn’t exactly normal for her teenage daughter to open up and tell her what was going through her mind, but with the changes she could always hope she’d open up to her.

“Buffy smiled slightly but kept her eyes trained forward. “A little bit of everything, I guess.”

The elder Summers woman took a seat on the deck next to her child and pressed her upper arm against her own, silently offering her support. Joyce knew it wasn’t her place, and that she shouldn’t stick her two cents in when it was not asked for, but she felt that sometimes a mother had to butt in to try and help in any way she can. Sometimes a mother needed to guide her daughter…

Joyce looked forward to where Buffy was looking and sucked in a deep breath through her nose. “You’ve seemed so down lately, and I know you’ve been through a lot for such a short period of time…”

Buffy pursed her lips and nodded, picking at her fingernails to keep herself busy while she listened.

“The last thing you need right now is someone telling you what to do…”

Buffy looked up at her mother, expecting a lecture about her recent behavior. Her mom was probably embarrassed by everything she’d done to draw attention to herself, to their family. Buffy felt bad about the possibility that she had shamed her mother, and that thought was the only thing that kept her silent as her mother continued to speak.

“But, Buffy, you need to make a choice here. It kills me to see you this way. You used to be so fun loving and full of life.”

“Mom, I have made a choice. And it may not be one that everyone loves but it’s what I want right now.” Buffy turned her body toward her mother and sighed. “I know I’ve made stupid choices the last couple of weeks and I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry… but I’ve made my decision and I’m not changing it.”

Joyce was a bit taken back, not expecting that from her but also impressed by it. “Buffy honey what happened with Parker happens to a lot of girls. I’m not glad it happened, but I think it was a really good learning experience for you, and I’m very proud of the way you handled yourself, the way you’re still handling yourself, so don’t ever think that I’m disappointed or embarrassed by what happened,” Joyce smiled. Buffy smiled back. “And I want you to know that I support whatever your decision is… just so long as you’re genuinely happy with that decision…” she said giving her daughter a pointed look.

Buffy kept her eyes down but smiled. “Yeah… I am happy.”



x X x X x X x X x X x



Spike turned the lights on as Willow rewound the tape in the VCR and Xander stood and stretched. The movie had ended and yet, Spike hadn’t watched so much as a minute of the film. He had stared at the screen as it played, but he hadn’t actually watched it. There wasn’t anything that would have been able to hold his attention after that blow.

There was an awkward silence between the three friends, all of them knowing what was going through Spikes mind, and yet they knew there was nothing they could say that would make the situation any better. They’d tried, and they’d failed. If things were going to work out between the two of them it had to be because they needed it to, not because their friends wanted it to.

Xander sighed as he stood near the doorway to the hall. “Hey man, I think we’re gonna hit the Bronze before heading home. Maybe shoot a game or two of pool. You game?”

Willow looked over at him, hopeful that he’d just say yes and that he could finally get his mind off of things.”

Spike sucked in his bottom lip and shook his head, looking tired and understandably agitated.

Xander and Willow shared a look and Xander nodded, reaching out and giving Spike a supportive yet manly slap on the back before leaving the room, pulling Willow along with him. The two friends quietly moved down the stairs and over to the front door, waving and bidding Mr. Giles goodbye before leaving the home.

Once the cooling night air rushed across their faces Xander let out a sigh and Willow spoke. “Are we really going to the Bronze?” she asked as she looked up at him.

Xander shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets, sparing a glance toward Buffy’s house as they walked by. “Yeah, I think I’ll stop in and see what’s going on since the rest of my Friday night had been a bust. I’m pretty much feeling the anger for ye old platinum one and need to blow off some steam. You in?”

Willow nodded. “I think Oz said the Dingoes are playing tonight and I wouldn’t mind seeing him after.”

Xander’s head dropped as she semi-nodded and pouted. “Man, you and Oz… Spike and Buffy. Well, you know, formerly. I’m feeling like third-wheel-Xander.”

“Well technically that would make you a fifth-wheel.”

“Not helping, Wil.”

“Sorry. You’re actually not one anyway, seeing as this whole Buffy Spike thing pretty much blew up in our faces.”

“Yeah. You know, I know Spike really screwed up with the whole Dru thing, and Buffy was pissed, but if she’s gonna keep blowing him off like this then she should just tell it to him straight and let him go. There’s really no need to mess with his head like this…”

Buffy listened from the other side of the fence as Willow and Xander slowly walked by her house, and the pangs she had just managed to push away were already back again, poking at her incessantly and making her heart sting.

Once they were out of ear shot she sucked in a quivery breath and turned back toward her back door, swiftly moving back into the comfort and safety of her home.



x X x X x X x X x X x



Spike stared at the ring on top of his dresser, thinking about how nice it would have been to see Buffy wearing it. He’d dug it out of his things weeks earlier, before everything with them had blown up in hi face. He’d wanted so badly to give it to her, and earlier today he thought he’d have the chance to give it to her again, but the more he thought on it, the less likely it was going to be.

With a sigh of defeat he set the ring down in front of the newly framed picture of Buffy and himself and pulled his shirt up and over his head as he walked into the bathroom. A hot shower to ease away the tension sounded like a solid plan right about now.

He turned the hot water knob all the way over and watched as the room quickly filled with steam, then tweaked it with a smidge of cold water simply so it was bearable and watched as the mirror fogged up.

All he wanted to do was forget. Forger Buffy, forget school, forget ever coming to Sunnyhell and meeting these people. Things had been much simpler when hr was back at home. Even after his parents had passed he at least had Dru. Then he came here and she’d given up on him. He supposed she should be used to abandonment by now, but even with time it didn’t hurt any less. It couldn’t.

Spike dropped his pants and stepped into the steady stream of water, pulling the curtain closed behind him and letting the hot water wash away the forgotten pain and aggravation the events of tonight had stirred up.



x X x X x X x X x X x



A little over an hour had passed, and Xander watched from one of the many futons in the Bronze as Willow left hand in hand with Oz and the rest of the band, a beaming smile on her face. His moping and self pity immediately set in.

He had looked around for Anya when they’d arrived but he didn’t see her anywhere. They’d danced around the possibility of a relationship for weeks now, and she’d even made the effort to go out with Willow without him there, doing anything to help and get in his good graces. And yet, he was afraid of taking that next step. He’d never had an actual girlfriend, only casual flirtatious encounters and a movie date or two. He just didn’t know how to take his relationship to the next step, to finally just ask Anya to be his girlfriend.

Sure, she was odd and she always spoke her mind whether it was appropriate or not and no matter where they were. But he liked that about her. It set her apart, and she was cute, and funny, and for some reason unbeknownst to him, she was attracted to him.

Willow was with Oz now, so there was no using the ‘don’t want to lose time with my best friend’ excise. And after watching what Spike and Buffy had… before their relationship imploded… Xander realized that was something he wanted too.

With that thought making his final decision, Xander stood from his spot in the cozy club and made his way out the door, letting his heart guide him toward the girl he hoped would welcome him with open arms.



x X x X x X x X x X x



Spike stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out. He let the changing temperature on his sensitive skin be a welcome distraction, and although it worked well at first, eventually even the ice cold water thundering down on his skin wasn’t enough to keep all thoughts of Buffy from his head.

He’d exhausted himself running all the different scenarios through his head. All of the ‘what ifs’… Nothing made him feel any better. In fact he was sure he’d only made himself feel worse. The only thing he felt like doing now was crawling into bed and hoping to god that when he woke up in the morning he could start this day all over again.

Spike grit his jaw and wiped his hand over the mirror, wiping away the steam and watching as gravity pulled down water droplets through the rest. He sighed and looked at his reflection, shaking his head and dipping his fingers in some hair shaping cream, running his hands through his hair to keep it back and out of his eyes. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing it, he wasn’t going out, he wasn’t going anywhere… but his brain was mush with everything moving so fast and in every other direction.

He took his towel from around his waist and dabbed at his shoulders and neck, wiping away any stray water droplets as he stepped out the bathroom and into his bedroom, stopping in his tracks when he looked up.

Buffy stood from her spot at the end of Spikes bed; her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked wide eyed up at him.

“Buf-“

Buffy held out a hand to silence him. “Don’t.” She took a deep breath and steadied herself. “Don’t talk. I need to talk.”

Spike swallowed hard and blinked away his surprise, but remained silent like she’d asked. If the look on her face was any indicator, though, this wasn’t going to be a good speech.

Buffy let her hands drop to her side as she looked at him. She was so tired of feeling awkward around him. She missed the exciting feeling she used to get when she saw him or knew she was going to see him. She missed the feelings she got when he would smirk or smile at her from across the room. She missed the butterflies in the pit of her stomach when she heard his voice. She missed him.

But why should she? Why should all of these amazing things be memories when they could be everyday? She looked into the deep ocean blue of his pained eyes and she knew.

“I don’t know how we ended up here… where we are with each other now. When I think about everything that I did, and everything that you did… it makes me mad, and it hurts. But the feelings I get when we’re together… the anger can’t even compare. It doesn’t even cast a shadow…”

Spike blinked rapidly and shifted his weight from one foot to another.

“Some people would say that for this to work, we would have to start over again, create a friendship and rebuild our trust in one another,” she said as she shook her head, never once taking her glistening eyes off of his. “But I am so tired of the stupid teenage high school drama. I’ve had about as much of it as I can take.”

Spikes shoulders dropped.

Buffy swallowed hard. “Can we just skip it?”

Spikes mouth opened as he let out the breath he was holding and his eyes bore into hers.

Buffy tilted her head and held back her tears as best she could. “Can you just be kissing me now?”

The words had barely made their way out of her mouth before Spike had her in his arms, lifting her off her feet and fusing his mouth with hers. An enormous weight had been lifted and he was pretty confident that if he tried right now, he could fly.

Tears streamed silently down Buffy’s cheeks as she held Spikes face in her hands, kissing him like she’d never get to do it again. Both of them struggled for air, but were too afraid to back away even for a second, too afraid that this was all just some elaborate thought out day dream. Oxygen was demanding entrance though, and they parted just far enough so that Spike could press his forehead against hers.

“I thought I’d lost you…” Spike whispered as he caressed her arms with his thumbs.

Buffy smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek as she looked into his watery eyes. “You’ll always find me.”



TBC