Choices by spikes_bitch
Summary: 5 Months after the battle with the first, the scoobies are called to LA to make the hardest decisions of their lives.
Categories: Serial Fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance, Angst
Warnings: Violence, Sexual Situations
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Completed: No Word count: 9729 Read: 10828 Published: 07/12/2004 Updated: 09/05/2004

1. Prologue by spikes_bitch

2. Suprises by spikes_bitch

3. Rendezvous by spikes_bitch

4. The lovie dovies by spikes_bitch

5. Pangs of Pain by spikes_bitch

6. Home Truths by spikes_bitch

7. Friendship is the bond to all Happiness by spikes_bitch

Prologue by spikes_bitch


Disclaimer:
As much as i would love to own Spike!I dnt...Joss owns him!!!! boo hoo!!!!

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5 months after the battle with the First.
A café in Paris, France.


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Placing her coffee back down on the table Buffy tilted her head up into the sun, a glow came over her face and she couldn’t help smiling softly to herself. Every time she saw the sun she remembered Spike how brave he was as a burst of sunlight had shone right out of his soul.



“Spike!”

“I can feel it, Buffy.”

“What?”

“My soul. It's really there. Kind of stings”


“you've done enough. You could still….”


“No, you beat them back. It's for me to do the cleanup.”


The walls are crumbling around them.



“Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer.”

“Spike!”
“I mean it! I gotta do this.”



Buffy laces her fingers through Spike's, and they burst into flame together.



“I love you.”

“No, you don't. But thanks for saying it. Now go! I wanna see how it ends.”



Another smile crossed her lips as she thought how much her life had changed…how Spike had saved her life. She no longer was the only chosen one, “She alone will fight against the vampires, demons and forces of darkness…” but now she wasn’t…alone.

Hundreds of girls all over the world had gained slayer strength and the potentials had become full slayers. Buffy could feel them all over; some could even be in this city.

After the battle with the First the gang had tried to contact them and bring them all together, but things seemed to get in the way. Slaying was not the main priority in everyone’s life anymore as there were so many who could do the job…so there was nothing really to keep them together.



Slowly they drifted apart, each going there separate ways…and here Buffy was in Paris with her sister Dawn, the only one she’s still with.

Last time she heard Giles had gone back to England with Olivia, Xander stayed in LA, Faith and Robin were in Las Vegas and Willow was in South Africa with Kennedy. The three friends who had vowed to stay close forever were further apart then they had ever thought they would be.

‘Buffy’


She spun around quickly; no one was there…

‘Buffy’


“Ok Dawn joke over where are you?”

Still no one was there except she was getting a few weird looks from the other customers around her.

‘Buffy listen to us…we’re not around you we’re in you…”


“Powers that be?”

“Yes…we need your help urgently…you must go to LA...”


“Angel?”


Buffy had wanted to see him but just thought it was never the right time…now she had an excuse…

“No…”


Buffy’s heart sank…”oh?”

“You must go to The Wolfram and Hart Offices, there you will here more from us…leave now”


“But…” Buffy couldn’t finish her sentence before the Oracles voices had gone, she stood up, suddenly she felt all eyes on her,

’Right…crazy lady talking to herself never a success’ She thought before leaving to go back to her apartment.





When she walked through the door Dawn was lying on the sofa watching cartoons.

“Hey Buffy”

Without replying to her kid sister Buffy went straight into her bedroom and pulled out her suitcase and started packing.

“Buffy! What are you doing?” then it dawned on her “…your not leaving me are you?”

This made Buffy look up…”No…” she saw Dawn’s head drop she gently cupped her sister’s chin and looked her in the eye “…Never…ok?”

“Now go get ready…we’re going on a little trip.”





A/N: ***So please tell me what you think. I know it sounds like she misses Angel but trust me HELL NO!!!***
Suprises by spikes_bitch
Disclaimer: Joss owns all blah blah blah



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Buffy pushed her sunglasses on the top of her head and raised her hand to block the sunlight from her eyes.

“Wow…” was all she could manage to say.

Dawn was struggling behind her with her suitcase… “Buffy are you sure this is the right place cause I don’t wanna have to…God!” she moaned following Buffy’s gaze, “that’s gotta be like 200 floors or something!”

“Something” Buffy smiled as she took a bag off Dawn put her glasses back on and walked up the steps leading to the Wolfram and Hart offices.

“Would someone like to tell me what the hell I’m doing here!?” Xander exclaimed rising for extra emphasis.

“Look I don’t know all the details myself so don’t get angry at me” Angel responded with a harsh tone

Gathered in his office were people who he had not been expecting to see. Leaning back on his desk Angel stared at each of his guests…

On his left was Willow she looked different from when he had last seen her…and also she was gay joined by another girl holding her hand she had dark hair, which was flowing, around her face. Angel had heard her name a couple of times but couldn’t remember her…‘must be a new one’ he thought.

Then next to them was Xander just as annoying as the last time he had seen him…he didn’t know why but he had never got on with him…maybe it was jealousy?

Then there was Faith he smiled at her and she gave him a little wink…He had a special bond with her they seemed to understand each other, she was sitting on this guy’s knee so he assumed they were together.

Then never to be forgotten was Buffy’s old watcher Giles; he still looked like he did four years ago…same glasses and same wrinkles from stress no doubt. There with him was a woman called Olivia, they seemed so in love as she leaned into him as she did Angel noticed a ring on her wedding finger.

Willow stood up to prevent Xander from doing something he would later regret.
“Now guys lets just calm down I’m sure we can just settle this rationally…now we all had some sixth sense thing which told us to come here…but why? Giles?”

“Um…” he wondered as he took off his glasses, cleaned them and put them back on his nose. “It seems that the Powers that Be have all made contact with us and have directed us to this specific place…this is all very unusual I have never heard of anything like it…um Angel?”

“I didn’t know anything about this till you all showed up – I mean it must be pretty important right? Why else would they…”

“Uh Angel” Gunn interrupted.

“What now Gunn?” Angel seemed kind of irritated.

“Am I late for the party?” Buffy walked in and stood right in the centre of the room and stared at Angel, “Hello…sorry I didn’t RSVP.”

“Buffy…. I…” Angel couldn’t find the right words to say to her, just her presence near, made him nervous.

Buffy turned around to greet her other friends “so It looks like one big reunion!” she smiled as she hugged Willow and Xander at the same time.

“So you got the messages as well?” Willow asked

“Messages?! More like the annoying gibbering idiots in my head!” Xander burst.

Buffy let out a silent laugh she had not seen her friends for what seemed like years and now they were together it seemed like they had never been apart.
“Yea I got them…would like to know why though…so any Ideas?” Buffy asked.

“As of yet no… I have had no recollection of this ever happening…hello Buffy.”
Buffy tilted her head and smiled at Giles, she had missed this father figure in her life and she missed him even if he was an English bore!

“Hey B!”
“Faith…how are you?”
“Five by five, cant complain” as she looked down at Robin.
“I can see…”

“And what about you?” she turned to Angel, staring into his eyes and she could feel his loneliness, in that instance it was as though they were the only two in the room, he broke their gaze and looked at the floor, soon reality came back to Buffy.


“Ok…I’m…I’m okay…you?”
“Well I’m still standing…these last five months have been difficult to say the least” Buffy soon became aware of everyone in the room watching her “I’m coping…I have Dawn so…Oh my God…Dawn where’s…” Buffy panicked she spun around trying to find her little sister. Then as she looked toward the doorway she saw a familiar figure standing there

“Looking for this love?”

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A/N: Hey hope you like the chappie!! Review please!!!!
Rendezvous by spikes_bitch
Disclaimer: So i dont own Spike??????? *bawls eyes out!!!*



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" Looking for this love?"

"Spike?"
How could this be? Spike alive? Well as alive as he ever would be
again…Buffy stared at him in disbelief

"What? When? How?" was all Buffy could manage to get out.

"Same thing I first said when I came back" Spike joked, he kept a
constant gaze on Buffy and he knew this was no joking matter. He
slowly moved towards her, they were only inches apart and all Spike
wanted to do was to take her in his arms and just hold her…to breathe
in her smell and never let her go.

Buffy looked into Spike's eyes and couldn't imagine how much pain he
must have gone through…when he had truly been her hero and had
sacrificed his life for the world…and her. It looked like a scene
from an old movie, where the lost lovers finally meet again and they
throw themselves in each other's arms and share a passionate kiss.
That was never going to happen for these two loves…and they both knew
it.

"It's unbelievable…your really here I can see you and I can…touch
you."
She smiled turning her head in towards his and raising a hand to his
cheek. He nestled into her hand and his eyes pleaded with her...to
just forget what was going on around them and to just give into
temptation…he wanted her now more than ever.

For a while it looked like she would, but the silence was too much
for Angel, who interrupted.
"Everyone's tired maybe we should talk about this later?"

Spike could feel his anger growing inside him, Angel always ruined
everything for him and whenever things were going right he would
destroy them. He silently stepped back from Buffy's grasp and
muttered "He's right its late you've been on the road all day…you
should rest" he attempted a smile. The others were already up out of
their seats…they could feel the tension in the room and didn't want
to be in the line of fire when it all took off.

"I'll show you to where you can stay" Gunn addressed the large group
and they followed him out of Angel's office.

All that was left was Angel, Spike and Buffy, the biggest love
triangle of them all. Both vamps love the one woman who kills their
kind, and yet she loves both of them.
"Buffy…I'll show you to your room." Angel stood up and bent down to
pick up her bag.

"Uh Angel… would you mind if Spike took me?" both men were shocked at
her response Angel froze in his bent over posture while Spike rose an
eyebrow in her direction.
"Um...yeah sure…"Angel trailed off.

"It's just we have a lot to catch up on…" she smiled in Spike's
direction "a lot of questions that need answers."

Spike didn't know what to say so silently he picked up her bags and
led her out the door. As she followed him she looked back over her
shoulder at what seemed a defeated man…they held they're gazes for a
moment before she walked out the door.

Angel slowly moved and sat behind his desk, swinging his legs upon
the desk, he leaned back and thought, `Was she finally done baking…
And is Spike going to be the one who has her?'



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Spike opened the door to her room and set down her bags, before he could say anything Buffy spun him around and brought their lips together in a passionate embrace. Buffy was fighting her emotions as she willed him to let her tongue explore his, he allowed her to and they grew deeper in the kiss. Finally both parted gasping for air; Spike could only stare at Buffy. Had she just shown her love for him?

“Buffy…” was all Spike could get out as her eyes darted across his and slowly scanned his body from head to toe.

Buffy what are you doing she thought? You have just seen him and already you’re jumping his bones! There were so many questions, so many things needing explaining but all Buffy could think was of how much she had missed Spike and how glad she was for him to be here, standing in front of her, staring into her eyes with such compassion.

Buffy couldn’t hold back she wanted him…she needed him…nothing had ever felt so right to her. Before she even knew what she was doing she reached up and brought his head down to hers again to continue their kiss.

“Spike…” Buffy moaned as his mouth began to lead a trail of kisses down her neck, she let out a gasp as his hands travelled down her back and squeezed her ass. She responded by whipping her legs around his waist and forcing him to the bed.


Falling together on the bed, Spike had Buffy straddled, she saw her eyes were full of lust for him, but he had to make sure she wanted this. The last time they had been this intimate was when she was in the bathroom and he had nearly… He hated to think of that anything, which brought Buffy pain he wanted to wash it away.

“Buffy… is this what you want?” Spike asked with doubt.

“I have never wanted anything as much” she smiled in response. At that the barrier had lifted and any doubts spike had vanished.


They smashed their lips together again, and spike moaned as Buffy began teasing him with her tongue. ‘So she likes to play like that huh’ Spike thought ‘I’ll play alright’.
With that he ripped of her shirt as she took his off. He unhooked her bra masterfully and began kneading her breasts.
Buffy began to get short of breath only managing to groan his name, ‘that’s right’ he thought ‘say my name bitch’.

He let his tongue roll over her hard nipple before nipping at it gently, Buffy moaned in ecstasy as he yanked off her skirt and she began to unbutton his jeans.

Soon Buffy was left in nothing but her black silky panties, which Spike removed hurriedly. Glancing at her naked body before him, she had never looked so beautiful, he felt a tear well up in his eye.

‘Is he crying?’ Buffy thought.
‘Now I’m a big poof’ Spike thought.

“Spike? What’s wrong…is it me? Do you not want me?” Buffy asked with tears in her eyes.

“What?” Spike asked rolling off Buffy allowing him to kneel down in front of her,

“Buffy…you are the one thing which is keeping me together…You’re the one thing in this world which makes me want to live”

Buffy had tears streaming down her face now, as Spike said those special words



“ When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy…You’re my everything”



“You’ve said that to me before” Buffy sighed.
“Well that just proves how much I mean it then” Spike smiled, leaning up to her and placing a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose.

“Now I'm gonna say something that I’ve said before…I love you” she said between tears

“Really?” He questioned. Could this be true could Buffy really love him after everything that’s happened?

“Does this make it clearer?” she asked as she brought him up to her and kissed him passionately.

“Oh bloody hell Buffy” Spike groaned as she rubbed her naked body against his hard bulge. He could not control it any longer he wanted nothing but to please this goddess which lay under him and he planned to do just that.

Slowly spike sucked on one of her nipples as his hand travelled down her body, just as Buffy let out a little sigh of contentment Spike placed his fingers just above her entrance. He stroked her soft blonde curls before pushing his fingers in deeper.

At this Buffy gasped and arched her hips off the bed to allow him to go deeper “Spike…please I need you”

“Coming pet are we?” Spike smirked, as he saw Buffy nod at his question.

This was all he needed as he made his way down her body and let his tongue just lick her entrance all the way up.

Buffy made a loud short gasp as she grabbed onto his head of curls pushing his head further into her.

“Spike…need you…please…let me…gonna come”

Spike heard her moans and licked everywhere but the place she wanted him to most,

“Spike” she groaned, and so then he did it and sucked on her clit massaging it with his tongue. She was so wet, all wet for her big bad. Buffy’s body was on fire and she yanked his head still pushing it further into her bed of curls.

Spike was still sucking; licking up all her juice as he did, but just as she was about to climax he shot up and smashed his lips against hers.
Buffy knew that he still had her juice on his lips but she did not find this weird.

Buffy raked her nails against his back and moaned


“Spike, not fair…finish what you started”

then with one thrust Spike entered her, she was so tight and the way her thighs tightened around his cock was unbelievable. Both began groaning and grinding in union.

Spike had Buffy’s breasts in his hands and riding her like there was no tomorrow. Buffy couldn’t hold it in any more and came screaming his name, soon after Spike did also and they collapsed in each other’s arms.

Gently drifting of to a peaceful sleep the two lovers curled in each other’s arms oblivious to anything else...Or anyone else.

“Damn this vampire hearing” Angel moaned as lay in bed with groans of the love of his life being pleasured by his worst enemy.


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A/N: Hey guys!!! I need the reviews!!! Come on!!! Thanks to BuffyandSpikeForever, for being a faithful reviewer!!!
The lovie dovies by spikes_bitch
Disclaimer: I do not own a thing...sad but true!







Buffy stirred and found a protective arm wrapped around her waist. She smiled as she remembered the pleasures of the night before. Carefully she turned over, as not to deserve Spike, she was facing him now and she marvelled his beauty.


He was perfect. From his bleach blonde curls on his head, to his piercing blue eyes, oh how she could stare at those eyes forever. Scanning down the rest of his face she stroked his prominent cheeks and gently placed a soft kiss on his lips.


Spike woke with the sensation of Buffy kissing him, had this been real? Was she really there, lying with him, in his bed? Had they made love the night before or had it all been another dream, where she returned to him as she said she would? Slowly opening his eyes he saw Buffy staring at him with her sun kissed hair spread over her pillow.
“Morning sleepy head” she chuckled as Spike adjusted to his surroundings.
“Morning luv ” he smiled “thought I’d worn you out for good.”
Arching one of his eyebrows as he usually did, Buffy just stared at him and all her feelings came rushing back, with just that one expression brought back memories. Before he knew what was going on she brought their lips together and immediately was pleading for his tongue. They finally separated for air and were left exhausted.


“What was that for?” he panted.
“Well” she answered meekly “ I haven’t seen you in so long and you being you just made me realise how much I missed you…kinda lame huh?”
Picking up her face in his hand Spike truly looked into her eyes and spoke softly in her ear “ I’ve never stopped thinking of you for a minute. You…” he whispered stopping for a second to nibble on her earlobe, much to Buffy’s pleasure.

“Spike…” she sighed.
“ You…” he continued “you are an angel”
He leaned back to meet her gaze; “you saved me Buffy…without you I wouldn’t be who I was today. Thanks to you I got my soul, my love for you. And you know what made me love you more?” he asked, “that night we just laid together, you remember? After those gits chucked you out? Remember the note you left me?…….



Dearest William,

Thank you. All I can say to you is thank you. You gave me courage, support, and mostly love. All you have given for me, helping me with Glory, understanding how hard it was for me when I came back to life, fighting for your soul and now for just lying with me tonight. You give so much William; you give your whole heart. Even if the world doesn’t know it, I know what a truly wonderful man you are. I can never repay you for all you have done for me.
But here I am now, telling you I have something to give you…

Me.

Yours only
Buffy
x x x




“Do you mean what you wrote that night?” he asked.
She looked at him with so much passion that he didn’t need a response. Hours passed where they just stared at each other and laid contentedly in each other’s arms in perfect silence.


***Angels Office***

“So what are we going to do? I don’t want to be left out in the dark. If we’re facing something bad I wanna know about it!” Angel yelled down the telephone. ‘All these contacts working at an evil law firm and no one knows what’s going on!’ A gentle tap on his door interrupted his thoughts.

Fred poked her head in from the door, she had heard his shouts from down the hall and was afraid to upset him further.

“Fred, have you found anything?” Angel asked, a slight plea in his voice. He did not like being manipulated plus his rage was also due to the last night’s fiasco. Hearing Buffy’s groans only made him angrier that he could not please her like that. Then more frustration that she was being pleased like that in the first place! By none other than Spike. SPIKE! Of all people, although he was his sire he did hate him with a great passion.

“Um…not exactly” Fred stuttered she hated being the bearer of bad news, especially with Angel who didn’t make a point of keeping his feelings hidden.
“We did however work out where these messages are coming from” she smiled hoping this small bit of information would somehow compensate for their lack of development.

“Well that’s a start…” Angel sighed, still having Buffy on the brain, he had sworn she still had feelings for him. That night before she was to face the First he thought they were finally getting somewhere…

***“At least you could tell me you're glad to see me.”
He had asked before Buffy drops the scythe to the floor and walks up to Angel, pressing herself against his body and kisses him deeply on the lips. ***

“Um…Angel?” Fred asked cautiously.
Coming back to the present day Angel reluctantly turned them memories off in his head and got back to the task at hand. “ Who’s doing this?” he asked.

“Well we processed the voices into our online data voice activated service. After going through the whole analysing and scrutinizing of the tone and pitch and then the--”

“Fred!” Angel cut her off sharply “Gonna need it a lot shorter and a lot quicker”

“Oh...Sorry...um…yea well we think it’s the same thing which used to contact Cordelia. The--”

“Powers that Be” Angel finished off. ‘This must be really important they don’t just pop up for no reason.’

“You know them?” Fred asked, she had no idea what they were. She was still a bit lacking in the demonology department, before her time in Pylea she never even knew demons existed, except for the ones under her bed.

“Yeah…Uh…Fred could you get Buffy please…I really need to speak to her”

“Uh…Yea sure…” and with that Fred left Angel to contemplate his own thoughts. Was Buffy going to look different to him now because of last night? What was he going to say to her? Should he mention it? All these questions and Angel had no answers.



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A/N: HOPE YOU LIKE...IF U DO REVIEW!!
Pangs of Pain by spikes_bitch
Disclaimer: How much i would love to own Spike and have my wicked way with him!! however he does belong to Joss....LUCKY BASTARD!!!! ;-)

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Buffy slowly opened her eyes, she did not remember falling asleep, and as she looked up she was met with piercing blue eyes staring back down at her.

“Hi” she smiled “how long have I’ve been out?”
“You just drifted off for a second…didn’t want to wake you…” he answered stroking her hair. She lay her head on his chest and nestled into him, “Besides how can I sleep with you snoring” he smirked.

“I do NOT snore” Buffy pouted sitting up, “you…you…you’re a sheet hogger!”

“A what now?” Spike rose an eyebrow in confusion. He loved these banters he and Buffy would have, both were so quick witted and neither to be out done. The result was usually violence, which led to one being on top of the other, which in their case often led to sex.

Kneeling on the bed staring at Spike, Buffy gazed at him and couldn’t think straight. Now they were back to their constant bickering it seemed as though he had never gone and now she was here lying in bed (surprising, as they had never managed to make it that far before!) With Spike spread out in all his glory, Buffy couldn’t remember when she had ever been this happy.

Spike felt her eyes travel over his body and he felt like he was on fire. The way her eyes could burn right through him; he wanted nothing more but to ravage her right there and then.

“So luv… what were you saying?” he grinned smugly, leaning back on his elbows he suggestively raised his hips, which didn’t go unnoticed to Buffy. She watched him taunt her and she was all too willing to give into it…but then she had a plan.

She looked down at him and then back up then she seductively crawled over to him straddled him and lowered herself close to his body but not touching. Their lips inches apart she licked her lips.

By now Spike was getting really turned on and Buffy could feel his bulge stiffen as it pressed against her entrance. ‘Just the response I wanted’ she thought. Slowly she led a trail of kisses from his ear down his chest down to his pelvis. When she reached her destination she rubbed her hands up and down his thighs spreading them slightly. She then in one swift motion took him all in and gently sucked.

“OH… God… Buffy!” He groaned as his hands struggled to keep himself up as well as trying to grab onto something. His hands finally reached her head as he pushed her to go further.
Buffy held his cock in one hand and his balls in the other slowly she massaged them. Spike was paralyzed and only stifled out moans.
She was now going for it, taking in all his staff nipping softly on the head with her teeth.
“Buffy nearly there…just keep…” Spike could get out, at that Buffy’s eyes sparkled as she suddenly removed her mouth from his hardened cock and jumped of the bed.
“I’m just gonna get showered now, ok?” she chimed as she made her way to the bathroom.

“SLAYER!!” Spike roared how could she do this to him leave him just as he was about to cum… that was just cruel
“What the bleeding hell are you playing at?”

There was no reply and the sound of the shower turning on filled the room… Spike lay bewildered on the bed trying to think what he had done to deserve such torment.

A few minutes had passed when he decided to take action. He climbed off the bed and quietly made his way to the bathroom, carefully he twisted the doorknob and saw Buffy’s silhouette in the shower curtain, he heard he humming along to a familiar tune but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.


In one quick move Spike yanked back the shower curtain and pounced on Buffy pinning her under the showerhead, before she even had a chance to scream.

Both just escaped water getting in their eyes, as the warm water cascaded down Spike’s back.
“Now why did you run off like that…leaving me all helpless” he pouted sticking out his bottom lip, which Buffy just wanted to nip at.

Folding her arms across her chest Buffy smiled sarcastically “Now come on Spike…you weren’t completely helpless…you still have your left hand”


“Ha funny slayer… Despite your somewhat horrid charm…” Spike smirked leaning in to whisper in her ear, “I still want you”

Not just a second later Spike rammed into Buffy entering her in one movement.
“Aaah Spike!” Buffy groaned as she rubbed her fingers through his hair, which now, was wet and curly. Slamming her against the tiled wall Buffy lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. Their naked bodies entwined Buffy had nothing to grasp and she felt herself slipping.
Not wanting the passion to end she grabbed hold of the shower curtain. Spike slipped a finger into her entrance, caressing her clit this took Buffy by surprise.

Gasping in pleasure she yanked down hard on the shower curtain, ripping it from the railing. Losing balance both Spike and Buffy tumbled out of the bath landing on the soaked floor. Buffy on top of Spike, they both just looked at each other as memories of their first night of passion came flooding back.

Buffy just stared at the man beneath her, recollection coming back to her. The past was replaying in her head, and Buffy began to have doubts. Spike only gazed up at her, feeling what she was thinking and praying that she would just push them away and focus on the future.

“Buffy?” he whispered, gently touching her shoulder.

This movement made Buffy jump and even though she was still inside him, just the touch of his hands on her made her think back to that awful night in the bathroom. Before he had left to get his soul…he had almost…

The pain was too much for Buffy and even though she knew he was different now, he had a soul. She still wasn’t sure if this was the best thing to do. With that she stood up and turned to leave, in silence.

“Buffy…wait…why are you going?” Spike asked, pain in his voice as yet again the love of his life was turning away from him.

“I…I…I need time to think…about me…about us…just…just give me time.”

With that Buffy left. She quickly pulled on her jeans and a top and left Spike still lying on the floor, tears in his eyes, as yet again he felt he was beneath her. He heard the door shut and he curled himself up into a ball, slowly rocking back and forth in hope it could take away his suffering. Left to reflect in his own thoughts, thinking back to first seeing Buffy in the shower, he now remembered what she was singing…

*** Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings. ***


Spike held his head between his knees and started to weep.


~*~

Fred saw Buffy coming down the hallway, a little worse for wear, her eyes were all bloodshot as though she had been crying, her hair was wet and no smile graced her face but instead one of sorrow.

“Buffy!” Fred called out to her, quickening her pace toward the blonde, “Buffy are you ok?” she asked as she had now reached Buffy and she held onto her elbow leading her down towards Angels office.

Buffy had not want to run into anyone, especially not in the state she was in; she hadn’t enough time to even brush her hair. She just wanted to leave that room as fast as her legs could carry her and she just couldn’t bear to see the hurt on Spike’s face. Had she done the right thing? She didn’t know yet.

“Um…Fred… I’m not really in the mood at the moment…I’m sorry but I just really need to get to the bathroom and fix myself up a little…ok?” Buffy gave a half smile.

“Oh.” Fred quickly said, she hadn’t meant it to seem as though she was hassling her. She was the slayer, well the main one out of many; and Fred felt quite intimidated by that, she was of course the most strongest woman she has met, and she did not want to see her angry. “It’s just Angel wants to see you quickly…something about why you’ve been sent here…we think we’ve got a lead.”

Good. Buffy thought, the quicker this problem was dealt with the sooner it will all be over and she didn’t have to face the dilemma of facing both Angel and Spike at the same time.
“ Could you tell him I’ll be there in a minute?” Buffy asked, Fred was a nice girl, but a bit shy, this reminded Buffy of when she first met willow, and she knew that she must make more time to see her best friend.

Stepping into the washroom Buffy managed the best she could without a hairbrush, she splashed water over her face and ran some through her hair, leaving it to fall curly over her bare shoulders. Applying a quick coat of lipstick, she looked ready to face the world, although inside that was the farthest thing from the truth.


~*~




A/N: HEY GUYS!!! SOZ ITS BEEN SO LONG BUT HERE IT IS!! HOPE YOU LIKED!! IF U DID!! REVIEW!!
Home Truths by spikes_bitch
Disclaimer: Joss owns all blah blah blah!!!






“Wesley we’re faced with strong forces here, you know that…Cordelia suffered with those visions, why would the powers be calling them here?” Angel questioned his fellow workers. Gunn, Wesley and Lorne were spread in his office looking at their boss with no explanations.

“I hate to break it to ya sweet cheeks but we kinda knew that Wolfram and Hart weren’t all puppies and kittens when we signed on” Lorne replied staring at Angel knowing he was having a bad feeling about all this. He could read him so easily and he also felt his pain at seeing Buffy again.

“Lorne's right” Gunn put in “ now it only suggests that some bad shit is going down and obviously we need Buffy’s help… why else would the powers send her?”

“That’s true” Wesley took over, “but why call her friends as well? Whatever wants Buffy here also wants all of us too.”

“Er guys…” Fred coughed poking her head round the door, now that she was the only girl in their group she felt as though she had to manage them all. The mother figure in their life’s, although the way she looked at Wesley she wanted there to be more. She could never read him and she did not know whether he felt their connection too.
“Buffy’s coming in a minute, and I think it would be better if she didn’t have all the entourage...she’s in a fragile state at the moment”

The guys followed Fred’s orders and trailed out of the office leaving Angel to ponder his own thoughts.

He heard a gentle tapping on the door and stood to see Buffy walk in, he tried the best he could to put on a smile, but all he could think of was Spike all over his girl.

“Angel, you wanted to see me?” Buffy started, knowing that if she didn’t an awkward silence would take over.

“Uh…yeah” Angel stuttered he had gone off into a dream world in his head, as he was lost in the beauty of Buffy. He always knew that he would love her and he had always thought she would love him, but now he was so confused he did not know what to make of anything. “The messages… well we’ve found out that they are from the powers that be”

“Um…Angel…” Buffy wore a slight grin on her face, “I…kinda already knew that”

“Oh…”

“Its just they told me who they were when they first appeared to me, but I didn’t think you could…you know…communicate with them?”

“Oh well…we can gain access to the Oracles. They’re the closest we can get to the powers…don’t you remember about four years ago when I became…” Angel stopped himself as he was about to tell Buffy all about their wondrous day. When Angel had finally been granted his wish and became human. Only to find out that if he was to take it back, Buffy would have no recollection of that day. The price he had to pay…knowing what could have been. The burden he had carried for all this time, five years of knowing that at one point in their lives they had been what she always wanted. A normal girl falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend, all that seemed such a distant memory now.

“What Angel?” Buffy asked confused as to why he had stopped to tell her the rest of his story.

Shocked that he had let this slip out he tried his best to cover it up, he knew that if Buffy was to know it would break her heart.
“Oh nothing…I just thought of someone else” he replied meekly. Hoping that this would be enough for Buffy and to hopefully move on to another topic.

“Why are you lying to me Angel?” Buffy asked. She could always sense when he was lying to her and she didn’t like why he was hiding something. Although they had grown apart she had always thought they would be there for one another.

How did she do that? How did she know when he was lying, all he wanted now was to let this go, he didn’t think he could deal with telling her, the pain of keeping this to himself had been too great, he did not want to hurt her also.

“I’m not” Angel lied again. His mind was filled with uncertainty, shall he continue to lie to Buffy, pretend that the day, which meant everything to him, was the one she never even remembered? Or should he tell her?

To finally let all the pain out.

To not having to deal with the memories which taunt him at night anymore.

To finally share that day and hopefully for her to remember any small significant thing.

Was he hoping for too much?
Did he really expect her to remember?
Why would she…and why would she even care now?
She has Spike, how much it hurt him to even think of them two together. Why would Buffy go with him?
Why would she…?
Wait…. A thought came to Angel and he really hoped it would work, it was risky but if it went right, Buffy would be his again.
If he told her.
If he told her all about that day, when they had kissed in the sunlight and they had made love, many times, and for her to fall asleep listening to his heartbeat. Maybe, just maybe her feelings for him would reemerge and she would leave Spike for him. Then he wouldn’t have to hear the noises of his love being pleasured by the person he hates the most.

“Bullshit!” Buffy exclaimed, why was he lying to her? What could be so bad? Buffy didn’t like to think about it, she had been through too much pain and too much weirdness to have it blow right back in her face again.

“Buffy I…” Angel barely whispered, “I…I need to tell you something…please jus sit down and listen” he pleaded to her as he lead her to the couch and took a seat. Buffy still stood trying to read Angel’s face for any sign of what he was about to tell her.
“Please” he whispered, holding Buffy’s hand persuading her to sit down, she gently nodded her head and sat next to Angel.

“ So… tell me what’s this all about,” Buffy asked.

“Okay…I need to tell you this…four years ago after thanksgiving. When you came I…”

Angel looked into her eyes and was prepared to tell her the entire story when Harmony burst in
“ Boss Fred wants you down in the lab straight away.”

“Harmony not now” Angel gritted his teeth, something always had to go wrong.

“She says its about the um…oracles meeting?”
Angel let out a deep sigh, even though he didn’t need to the frustration was plain to see on his face, he turned to Buffy who was already standing.
“You can tell me later Angel…our main focus right now is why we’re here.”

Annoyed Angel rose also and led Buffy out of his office, he attempted a smile as he did so but both Buffy and himself knew it was unsuccessful.


~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

Stepping out of the elevator into the lab Angel and Buffy were greeted by Fred, Giles, Olivia, Willow and Xander.

“Hey guys” Buffy greeted them hugging each in turn. “Where’s the others?” she asked.

“Well Kennedy’s resting…” Willow smiled “she was kinda tired, she seemed exhausted from last night! All the se…um the car journey…yes! All the roads and the driving and the you know um …uh… hmm” Willow stumbled,

“Gee Will’s!” Xander teased “its amazing how many shades of red your turning right about now!”

This only made the poor embarrassed Willow turn an even brighter shade of crimson, and duck behind Buffy in shield of her face.
“Ah don’t worry Will,” Buffy soothed, stroking her best friends hair, “he’s only jealous cause he ain’t getting any!” she chirped, grin from ear to ear, she let out a little laugh at her own joke.

Now it was Xanders time to turn a shade of bright pink. It wasn’t because of Buffy’s comment; no he would have already been spitting out a comeback right about now. It’s just… it brought back home truths about Anya. His Anya. He has not had sex since that last night he and Anya did before the big show down in good ol' Sunny’D. Xander had tried to promise himself that at least 5minutes in the day he wouldn’t think of her. And thanks to Buffy’s comment this day had been just as screwed up as the others for the past five months.

At Xanders silence, the group was worried, never had it taken this long for Xander Harris to think of a comeback. He used to dish them out before the other person even said anything. Buffy was sure he would sit at night and just think them up!
“Xander…are you okay…look I didn’t mean what I said I was jus…”

“No…Buff…don’t worry its nothing to do with you its just me…my problems” he sighed as all his energy seeped out of him and he looked a deflated man. “I’m just gonna go upstairs…need a bit of fresh air.”

He made his way to the elevator his head hung low and Buffy heart went out for her friend. It was devastating to know that the person you love has been taken away from you forever; luckily for Buffy she and Spike had been given a second chance. Why had she run out like that? What was he thinking? She knew he had changed but yet there was always a doubt in her mind but now she knew. He was a good man he has a soul. He loves her and she loves him…it was clear to her now.

“I’m gonna go with him” Willow shook Buffy out of her thoughts, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Buffy just smiled in response, as she looked upon her two best friends, who had been through so much pain.

They didn’t deserve it.

She turned to face her remaining friends, and her eyes fell upon her watcher.

‘Poor Giles’, she thought, ‘he looks so tired, I can’t believe he’s still here, looking out for me.’

Angel broke the silence and was ready to get down to business, “ So Fred, what’s going on?”

Fred quickly went into scientist mode, in her white lab coat and goggles on the top of her head she looked quite the part.

“Well from what you told me Angel, from your last visit your friend, Doyle is it?” Fred asked.

Angel nodded his agreement and Fred carried on, “ well he went through certain channels, which luckily he noted down, and we were able to dig them up from all your old paper work.”

“So are you saying you can get us there?” Giles put in, standing upright with a protective arm around Olivia, whilst with the other adjusting his glasses. Typical Giles.

“Precisely” Fred smiled so engaged in her work a smile stretching from ear to ear, she continued, “we are able to send Angel to talk to them and hopefully find out what’s going on and why you guys are here!”

“Wait… if Angel’s going, I’m going” Buffy protested.

“Look Buffy I don’t think that’s wise, you don’t know these guys I do” Angel objected. He was not gonna risk the oracles saying anything.

“Excuse me… you do not own me Angel, you don’t know what’s best for me. I do. And besides I’m the one who got the vision you didn’t!”

“Um…Buffy” a quiet voice spoke up “I believe I got one also”

“Giles, I’m not risking you.” Buffy turned to face him, giving him a reassuring smile “Besides me and Angel can take care of this”

“Yeah and Giles only warriors can enter so…” Angel trailed off.

“See don’t worry me and Angel have it all under control, we’ll do it together”

“Not bloody likely…I’m coming along for the ride!”
Everyone turned towards the elevator to see who had just spoke. Angel let out an irritated sigh,
“Great…”



~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~


A/N: please review if you enjoyed! and also if u didnt!!! lol!!!
Friendship is the bond to all Happiness by spikes_bitch
Discliamer: Joss and me fought over it and he finally admited i own Buffy and Spike....
*Joss whacks me in the jaw*
Okay okay its his!!!


~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

“Xander!”
Willow called out trying to catch up with her upset friend, she had never seen him this bad since they cancelled Charlie Brown at Christmas, he was so upset he didn’t get to do his little Snoopy dance.

Xander sat outside, sitting on the steps he held his head in his hands, and propped his chin up, he seemed to be staring into nothing, like the life had been sucked from his body. He noticed Willow slide in beside him and copy his pose. Facing him she smiled,
“ Are we gonna do this all day? Cause my skins not a fan of direct sunlight!”

Xander smiled into his hands but still stared blankly ahead, he didn’t know why but lately his head had been swimming in thoughts of Anya. Memories, moments such wonderful times that it ached, it physically hurt him. Before he knew it he was beginning to gently sob, Willow noticed his tears and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Wrapping their arms around each other Willow cradled him, shushing him into his hair trying to calm him,
“Come on Xand…ssssshh…it’ll all be better I promise”

“How can you? She's gone”
Xander stifled resting his head on her shoulder. Willow didn’t know how to answer. What could she say? He knew the truth she had to face it not that long ago also. Anya, just like Tara died a natural death, if she was to bring her back it could have been horrific and just leave Xander in more pain then he already was.

She didn’t answer him her only response was her soft humming, like a lullaby, gently rocking him back and forth. But instead of it being a soothing lullaby, it was the song from that night when music had filled Sunnydale and dance took over their bodies.
“Where do we go from here?”

She gently whispered.
Somehow he was feeling calmer just being in the arms of his best friend. Slowly lifting up he smiled and kissed her forehead,

“Thank you.” He told her.


“What for?” she replied, she had said nothing, she remained confused and her face showed that.

Xander let out a soft chuckle and brought her in for one last hug,
“For just being you”
He smiled and took her hand and they walked back into the building, leaving their emotions outside.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You’re not coming Spike!” aggravation in his voice Angel growled at the bleach blonde.

“Shut up you ponce, of course I bloody well am” spike argued back.

“Now Spike I suggest we just all calm down and-” Giles started before he was rudely interrupted.

“ Rupert just stay out of it all right its between me and Captain Forehead!” Spike protested pointing a finger at Angel he continued “I heard you! That only champions can go to this secret thing? Well I got my soul, bloody worked hard for it too, I think that puts me high in the bloody rankings!” shoving his finger in Angels chest he emphasized his point. “ All you were was unfortunate, friggin gypsies cursed ya, its not like you wanted it or worked for it. So I think that gives me more right than any to go…don’t you?” he cocked his head as he stared at each of his audience in turn. All eyes were on him, shunned in silence.

“Spike’s coming” she piped out, if she was going he needed to be there too. She couldn’t do this without him; he had always been there for her, her rock, her comforter. She didn’t know what she would do if he weren’t with her.

Spikes eyes fell upon her and they questioned her, speaking with their eyes they seemed to be having their own private conversation.

“Buffy I…” Angel started but knew he would not be able to persuade her, she was a strong woman who knew what she wanted and she wasn’t gonna let any one change that or tell her what to do.

Facing him head on Buffy broke Spikes gaze and glared at Angel, “Spikes coming” she repeated.

Turning to leave she stepped in the elevator, holding the door open so she could say her last words, “get everyone to your office for one, we’ll leave then. Be ready” she told them before the doors closed and she left the basement.

“Goodie! An outing!” Spike mused rubbing his hands together gleefully.

Angel just growled and rolled his eyes as he gave the order for Fred to round up the group and punched the elevator button with great force.



By one the large group of 15 had assembled into Angels office and chatting rather loudly.

“Guys!” he tried to get their attention but could not be heard over their talking, “Um Guys!” he tried a bit louder, still failing.

“OY!!” Spike yelled silencing everyone in the room, “no need for thanks” he teased Angel and sat down in his chair swinging his legs up onto Angel’s desk, knowing it would piss him off.

“Uh...yeah well me, Buffy and Spike” he gritted his teeth as he said the last name, “we are going to the Oracles, hopefully finding out why most of you were brought here.”

“So only you three get to go? I’m a slayer too you know, plus I got the annoying message to come here!” the brunette exclaimed. Buffy had always been the good slayer getting all the praise while she just stood there and was pushed aside. Is it any wonder she turned evil?

“So who actually got these messages any ways?” Robin asked, with his arms wrapped tight around his girlfriend’s waist, his slayer was so strong and he loved that about her.

Xanders hand shot up as Willow slowly raised hers also, as did Buffy, Giles and Faith.

“So just the five of you?” Olivia mentioned, she had been so quiet throughout this trip that no one had even really noticed she was there. “So did any of you get it?” she asked referring to Angel and his co-workers. Who all shook their heads.

“So there’s a definite connection to Sunnydale” Buffy noted as she was trying to figure this out in her head. Her mind was blocked and filled with not very useful images of Spike naked, although she enjoyed them very much…No bad Buffy! Erase thoughts! Erase thoughts! Or at least just put them away for now! She mused to herself, noticing everyone was looking at her she attempted a slight smile, “well no point in hanging around, lets just get there and find out what they want with us”

The trio walked out of Angel’s office and stepped into the elevator, which led to the sewers. Places like these did not hold fond memories for Buffy or Angel. The sewers was where Angel had broken up with Buffy all those years ago, she could still feel the pain of when her heart had broken in two as he told her he didn’t want her, that he didn’t want them to work.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Don't what? Don't love you?” she pleaded “I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.”
“I don't.” Angel replied harshly.
Buffy felt her whole world crumbling around her as the man she loved was saying he didn’t want her. “You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.”
“It doesn't mean that I don’t...”
“How am I supposed to stay away from you?” she asked, closed to tears her breath caught in her throat and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
“I'm leaving.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy shuddered as the all too clear memory filled her mind; she pushed it away and reminded herself that that wasn’t the life she wanted anymore. She didn’t want Angel anymore; she had the one she loved. Staring up at Spike, she knew she had found her soul mate, they had not spoken since the incident in her room. But no words were needed as she slipped her hands in Spike’s. He looked down and entwined their fingers together giving Buffy a thankful smile, before lowering his head once more.
Angel noticed this exchange and couldn’t stop the anger, which was rising up in him. Buffy and Spike? It just couldn’t register for him; they just seemed to be the weirdest pairing, to him anyway.
They walked in silence; not one broke it till they reached their destination.


A/N: Hey Guys! Soz its been so long, Ive been on holiday! But im back now and i hope you enjoy this chapter!
This story archived at http://https://spikeluver.com/SpuffyRealm/viewstory.php?sid=3254