---

Chapter 1: Intervention

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“Buffy you’ve been moping around here for months. You’re not the same person who left the Hell Mouth months ago. You were so strong and brave. What happened to you?,” Xander asked out of worry.

They had decided to have lunch together when he visited because Giles said she hasn’t been herself at all. Giles seemed even afraid to have her patrol alone because he’s afraid she would just lie down and die willingly.

Buffy shrugged saying, “Not totally sure.”

Xander frowned as he tasted his soup then said, “Is it because you miss Sunnydale? Do you miss slaying and being the only one? Is it because you feel expendable?”

Buffy nodded because that was part of it.

Xander continued, “Why don’t you go to Ohio and spend time with Faith or something? Or even go somewhere new and different where vamps are. There are a few hell mouths around. You can be the only one there fighting and perhaps that will perk you up a bit.”

Buffy frowned and said nothing picking at her sandwich.

Xander noticed she was having soup and sandwich like him but he had finished his sandwich and most of his soup and Buffy hadn’t touched a bite.

She appeared to be wasting away right in front of him.

He was worried and decided he would talk to Willow about how to help her.

She was his friend and she wasn’t acting like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He paid for their food asking to have hers wrapped up saying, “Buffster we will figure out a way to help.”

Buffy nodded but knew inside nothing would help. A part of her was gone forever and it would never return.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Willow sat on the couch with Xander and felt bad discussing Buffy like she was a case.

Xander had shared with Willow how over dinner she had eaten nothing, and not even looked at him during the whole dinner.

He had used words like evasive, non-responsive, and withdrawn.

Willow had experienced the same thing with Buffy that he was describing.

They were in all parts of the world and perhaps not having a constant companion for her is the cause but Willow knew better.

Willow knew she was probably missing Spike.

The last two years of Buffy’s life had been with Spike as her companion.

Willow sighed saying, “Perhaps we should suggest her to visit Angel. He’s still alive and perhaps he can cheer her up. He has always in the past.”

Xander never did like Angel but this was getting scary. Buffy was turning into a zombie only not the brain eating kind. She was walking around like nothing bothered or touched her. He sighed knowing Willow was right, Angel might help.

Finally Xander said quietly, “I guess I’ll try to talk to her about it. It can’t get any worse. She barely talks now so the worse she can do is really hate me.”

Xander shrugged and walked out of the room to find Buffy.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Giles sat with Xander who had shared the idea with him.

Giles frowned saying, “Buffy won’t go willingly. I have something I need to get to Angel anyway. He asked for a research journal from the council. Perhaps we can send her on a mission to give him this and wait for him to be done with it. I can call him with a heads up on the fact Buffy needs help. I’m sure he can do something. She can’t get any worse. Even a little help will be nice.”

Xander nodded in agreement taking the journal from his hands and hoping Buffy fell for this. He didn’t like tricking Buffy but he knew this was a desperate matter of life and death.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy frowned looking at Xander, “You want me to go see Angel? Whatever for? What could Angel want from us?”

Xander held out the watcher journals with a slight shrug, “He asked me to take it to Angel but a new slayer arrived at my base so I need to return to Scotland.”

Buffy sighed understanding that he had duties and said, “Can’t Willow take it?”

Xander shook his head saying, “No she’s needed here in England. They got a new slayer in who has magical powers and Giles is worried about Willow staying grounded. She has been showing evil tendencies again and it’s important she finds someone who can ground her. Kennedy just isn’t doing that great of a job at it.”

Xander hoped he sounded convincing. He had made that last part up himself. Buffy seemed to buy it saying, “Have Giles get me a flight. I’ll do it for him.”

Xander nodded and gave her a hug saying, “I have to get back now. Good seeing you and Buffy?”

Buffy glanced up at him and he saw her troubled, pain filled green eyes for the first time all visit, “Take care of yourself.”

Buffy nodded and looked down as Xander left.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy stared out the window holding the journals she was asked to bring with her. She didn’t want to go to L.A. and face Angel and have to pretend to be ok. She wanted to stay in England where she could spend her time alone where she didn’t have to pretend. She didn’t feel ok. She felt empty and incomplete. She didn’t even want to get better. She wanted to stay like this forever. She was wiped out. She felt finished and done. She wished she were done.

She saw the buckle sign and looked down noticing she hadn’t even bothered to unbuckle.

She had refused the food and drink on the flight as well. She can’t remember the last time she actually ate more than 5 bites at a time. At least with Angel he wouldn’t notice if she didn’t eat seeing how he never ate either.

She just wanted this trip done with so she could go back home and crawl into bed and sleep her life away.

She heard the plane attendant say, “Now landing in L.A.”

She sighed and stood up to go find whatever driver Angel had sent to find her. She knew he wouldn’t come himself, it was sunlight out after all.

---

Chapter 2: Arrival

---

“You need me to do what in Wisconsin? Are there even planes in Wisconsin? I thought all that was there are dairy cows,” Spike bellowed at Angel.

Angel shrugged knowing he had to get rid of Spike and said, “There’s a plane waiting for you to take you there. I need you to pick up the scroll from there and bring it back to me.”

Spike paced saying, “Can’t you have someone less important do this thing?”

Angel shrugged and said, “I think I already am.”

Spike kicked the chair in the room breaking it before exiting the room flicking a cigarette across the room not caring if it caught fire or not. The sooner he got to Wisconsin, the sooner he could get back.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy stood in front of the doors of Wolfram and Hart. She honestly hated the place. She knew it was an evil law firm. She hated that Angel had reduced him to working for the evil side even if it was to do good. How can you possible do good in an evil environment?

She sighed as she got lost in thoughts but took a deep breath and pushed onward.

She stopped at the desk and whipped out a stake out of her back pocket to corner Harmony saying, “What are you doing here? I should have staked you long ago!”

She kicked Harmony back behind her desk and Harmony vamped out as she spit out, “Angel hired me!”

Buffy kicked Harmony again and punched her in the jaw saying, “Well I’ll just dust you so you no longer work here.”

Harmony reached up and hit a button screeching into it about Buffy trying to kill her.

Buffy rolled her eyes in annoyance as she was ready to plunge the stake into the screeching vampire’s heart.

Just then Buffy felt a cool hand on her shoulder and for a split minute another face flash before her eyes and she almost cried with joy until she realized the hand was too heavy so she sighed and turned around saying, “Angel why is Harmony working for you? I thought you were doing good work not letting evil life fun and fancy free!”

Angel sighed saying, “No one drinks human blood around here. She can work here as long as she’s not feeding. We do random tests to ensure they aren’t feeding. She does ok secretary work actually. I don’t think you are here to kill my workers and clients. Giles said you have something for me. Let’s take this to my office.”

Buffy frowned knowing Angel had a point and she could do nothing really.

Harmony stood up and straightened her skirt saying in a sweet voice, “Angel, Buffy has arrived and is here to see you.”

Angel rolled his eyes putting his hand on Buffy’s back to guide her into his office.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy stared at the broken chair and smelt the air. Oh god a flood of memories hit her like a ton of bricks.

Angel noticed her pained expression and said, “Sorry about the chair. I had a client in here who got upset hearing he couldn’t stay in L.A. after all.”

Buffy nodded taking a seat in the second chair and sighed.

She reached into her briefcase and handed Angel the five watcher journals she had brought with her saying, “I’m not totally sure why I had to bring you these but I hope they help.”

Angel shrugged saying, “Wesley wanted them. Not sure why. We meet tomorrow at noon. You should come.”

Buffy nodded but didn’t say a word.

Angel continued, “Are you hungry? I can have them bring you up some food from the dining area.”

Buffy shook her head saying, “I ate on the plane.” It was a lie but she knew Angel wouldn’t push her.

Angel continued, “I set up a place for you to stay on the lower level within the building. There’s a private elevator that will take you to my waiting room at any time. You should probably buzz Harmony just to make sure I’m in the office though.”

Buffy nodded eager to just get away from this place and escape to her room. She faked a yawn then said, “I’m sorry, I’m just tired after the long plane ride. I didn’t get to get any sleep last night with making the arrangements to arrive here within the day.”

Angel nodded and said, “I’ll have Fred show you to your quarters.”

He buzzed and said, “Fred, can you show Buffy her room?”

She heard a Texan accent come over the intercom saying, “Sure thing Angel.”

Angel talked to fill the silence until Fred arrived, “Honestly Buffy if you need anything during your stay don’t hesitate to ask. I can give you a car, dinner, even a night on the town if you would like. I have some time I can take off in the next few days for us to hang out. Fred is nice by the way. I think you will like her. Everyone else does. She’s trying to hook up Wesley but she’ll probably tell you that.”

Buffy tried to fake a smile when Angel said, “I’m really glad to see you Buffy and glad you could come.”

She couldn’t return the sediments but figured a smile would do the trick.

It seemed she was right as Angel took it as an invitation to give her a hug and let Fred lead her to her room.

After she left, Angel changed his clothes taking a good hot shower to wash off any trace of her and knowing he would have to do the same tomorrow when she awoke.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Fred talked happily to Buffy. She noticed the girl looked depressed and almost sickly.

She had heard from Angel she had been having a rough time but this girl looked like her best friend had died. Fred decided to try to cheer her up with funny stories, “So Lorne threw this Halloween party for everyone including clients, and employees and even Angel attended. So Gunn is walking around ‘marking his territory’ by peeing on everything! Me and Wesley ended up drunk kind of when our relationship really first began and Angel and Eve end up having sex and…” She paused knowing Angel said not to mention Spike’s name so she said, “Lorne was sleep deprived due to setting up the party and was destroying the place! It took us forever to figure it out. But it was really funny.”

Buffy politely laughed and Fred thought that meant she was enjoying her stories. She then invited Buffy for karaoke tomorrow night in Lorne’s nightclub area.

She grinned saying, “Lorne can read people and tell them their destiny. You should try it.”

Buffy shrugged and said, “Perhaps.”

Finally they had reached her room. Fred handed her a card and said, “This is your pass to get around. If you use the key and type 1 into the elevator you will be brought here. 2 will bring you for food, 3 for Angel’s waiting room and I’m not sure what 4-8 are or if they even got programmed yet. I wouldn’t wander around too much, you may get lost.”

Buffy nodded and took the key swiping it into her door eager to get behind them. Fred followed her in bringing her two suitcases in and smiled, “Home sweet home for the next few days or weeks. Angel said he wasn’t sure how long you were staying so to make sure you had a room with everything even a kitchen.”

Buffy faked a smile saying, “Thanks Fred. It’s great.”

Fred smiled and said, “Welcome to Wolfram and Hart Buffy. I know you will love it here. We all do.” Fred closed the door behind her leaving Buffy to escape into her room and sleep for eternity.

---

Chapter 3: Meetings

---

Buffy lay in bed staring at the ceiling. The walls were plain white in this room, which contrasted the bed with red silk sheets.

She wondered why this white room would have red silk sheets but she had no answer. She had slept only an hour before she was haunted. She didn’t mind being haunted, in fact she enjoyed seeing his face, hearing his voice saying her name and smelling leather and cigarettes. It was almost like for a moment he was alive and with her. She missed his cool touch and his soft yet firm lips. She missed the way his body was against hers. She missed touching him and holding him. She missed the way he gave her purpose and helped her to focus.

She never really realized just how much she needed him. Sure she had told him she wasn’t ready for him not to be there yet but she didn’t think she would ever be ready. It was just that she had been afraid to admit it. Loving him meant she was grown up and could never longer feel the same way about Angel. Angel was her childhood crush. Every girl has them. Someone they love more than life itself and would die for them without knowing what dying even meant. Someone who you could picture yourself with but not really have a real picture, just a fuzzy image of children, a house and them as husband or wife but never really any redeeming points to the relationship.

Angel was her childhood fantasy. He was her dark hero, who showed up in time to save the day and who was a shadow figure, mysterious and handsome. He was someone who was a puzzle to figure out.

She sighed thinking of him again. Now he wore his feelings out on his sleeve. When someone hurt him he cried. When Buffy had kissed him or complimented him, he smiled big. He wasn’t afraid of feelings. He in fact seemed to thrive on them even when she didn’t give him the option of seeing them.

She yawned remembering his arms when he held her. She absently rubbed the scar on her hand feeling the familiar tingle of comfort as she closed her eyes trying to remember what his arms felt like and slipped off to sleep. As she drifted off to sleep for a few minutes she imagined she was in a simple farm house in the middle of cow fields and felt Spike’s arms around her holding her tight. She drifted off to sleep to imagine then fighting together a battle against a vampire nest.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike was pissed. He couldn’t find that temple that Angel claimed was here and no one had heard of it. He was tired of smelling cow dung. He just wanted to go back to L.A. where he could save the world again for his Buffy.

Ahh Buffy. He sure did miss her. He still loved her more than anything else but Angel was right, she didn’t deserve him. He was trying to bring her down when she was his saving light. He was trying to rape her when she had loved him. He had beaten her up when she needed to be held. Sure he loved her more than life itself but sometimes love just isn’t enough.

He sighed as he kicked the bucket in frustration. Why couldn’t he just die like any good champion. Now he knew exactly how Buffy felt. He was dragged away from his grand finale and was now expected to keep living as though nothing happened. God did he miss Buffy but this was the way it should be.

Now if he could only find that temple tomorrow. He found himself absently rubbing the scar on his hand as he closed his eyes and could fell his arms surrounding Buffy lying with her in a red silk sheet bed surrounded by white walls. He could smell her vanilla scent and could feel the warmth of her skin against his cool skin. He drifted off to sleep dreaming of her. They were fighting together against a vampire nest and she looked hot.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy yawned as she heard a buzzer, which said, “Are you hungry Buffy? I can have the dining room send you some food.”

Buffy recognized the voice as Fred and said, “They can send me down a bagel and orange juice.”

Fred answered, “Want cream cheese with that?”

Buffy didn’t plan to eat it only drink the juice but decided to humor Fred saying, “Sure. Sounds great.”

Fred was happy to hear the girl was eating and ordered two bagels with cream cheese and a big glass of orange juice.

Buffy got up and quickly showered and was ready when her food arrived. She made a big show of thanking the person who brought it to her and waited until he left to take the bagels and throw them out and then drank part of orange juice.

She sighed as she realized she has been living off juices for a while. She took the vitamins from her briefcase and swallowed two down.

She figured since she wasn’t eating in order not to be sick, she didn’t to make sure she got the daily amount of vitamins required.

She stood up brushing her hair and added on rouge to give her some color. She resisted the urge to cry as she thought about how much he would yell if he saw her not taking care of herself but she didn’t care.

When she died she heard stories of Dawn about how he beat himself up and barely fed. How he had wanted and tried to dust himself with sunlight with Dawn saving him at the last minute. If he could do that, then she could do this.

After all, it didn’t matter if she died, she’d be with him then.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Angel sat at the table gathered around by a green demon named Lorne, Wesley who she knew, a lawyer named Gunn and the bouncing girl Fred. There was an extra seat but she was told he was out on assignment still and wouldn’t be returning for a while. He was the assignment guy.

Buffy listened closely as everyone updated on his or her happenings. Fred was researching a new chemical released by a demon. Wesley was handling an occult case that was affecting 10 lives of the local high school. Lorne was working hard at his club helping to hire two new employees and weeding out those who are incapable based on their futures. Gunn was working to protect a client who had stolen goods for a demon clan. Buffy noticed that while they weren’t exactly fighting the good fight, they weren’t being idle either.

She didn’t say anything throughout the whole meeting until Angel adjourned the meeting. Angel was told he had a call in his office so he retired to deal with it while Buffy handed the watcher journals to Wesley.

Wesley smiled saying, “I would have thought he would have just sent them but this is fine. Perhaps they are invaluable. I’ll see what is good in them, scan them and then give them back to you.”

Buffy nodded saying, “How long will that take?”

Wesley shrugged, “A few days I guess.”

He knew it would only take him about 2 hours but Angel had said to keep her here at least a week or two because Angel wanted to renew his relationship with Buffy.

Buffy nodded saying, “Sounds fine.”

Wesley smiled at the girl who looked so tragically lost and broken, “It’s good to see you Buffy.”

Buffy nodded whispering, “It’s good to be seen.”

Wesley studied the girl for a moment and wondered if Angel was right in really believing that he could save her. It seemed to him that the only one who could save her was not wanting to go back there again. He shrugged knowing it wasn’t his problem and smiled at her one more time thanking her for the journals before disappearing out of the room before he said something he regretted.

---

Chapter 4: Expectations

---

Buffy lay on the bed sipping grape juice.

She had 5 bites of her sandwich they had sent for her to eat and she was drinking her grape juice. She didn’t want to deal with Angel but she knew he would send for her in a few minutes and she had to at least pretend to smile.

He was taking her out to a nightclub to show her a good time. Fred and Wesley were going as well. Gunn had to work late and Lorne had to run his own nightclub.

Buffy was thankful at least Wesley and Fred would be there. Perhaps that would mean she wouldn’t have to dance much.

She longed for the days in Sunnydale where she could get lost in the music. Now the only thing she got lost in was memories.

She remembered him at the Bronze eating buffalo wings and drinking beer. He was the only vampire she knew who ate food. He really enjoyed it too. He loved onion blossoms, her mom’s hot cocoa, as well as some other stuff. He loved spicy food.

She can remember him ordering take out for them to eat after a long rough night of lovemaking. She pondered the word lovemaking. Could she really call what they experienced before his soul lovemaking? She shrugged realizing she thought of it as lovemaking so therefore it must be.

She heard the buzzer go saying, “Angel will see you now.” She got up and headed up to his office.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy was dressed in a red tank top and black jeans. She didn’t even realize she had picked his favorite outfit until she had looked at herself in the mirror only to break down in tears as she could hear his voice saying, “Hi Cutie. You look amazing.”

She almost had changed but decided this made her look good. She sat at the table drinking beer but sitting unhappy.

Fred and Wesley were talking up a storm with Angel and no one seemed to notice how quiet she really was. She got lost in thoughts as she remembered their last night sleeping together in each other’s arms knowing it might be their last. She had really never thought she’d live and that he would die. She figured he was too much of a mean ole vampire to die. If anyone should have died, it should have been her. She was stabbed but instead she lived and he died.

She sighed taking another sip of beer wishing for the night to end already. She felt pretty blessed no one bothered her to dance. They seemed content to pass the night away telling stories.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike was pissed. He went into Lorne’s nightclub and ordered a double shot of scotch on the rocks. Lorne frowned saying, “What has gotten you so upset.” Spike muttered about a temple not existing and Angel just wanting him away from the building.

Lorne didn’t know what to say so he only said, “I’m sure Angel just got his wires crossed on where the location was. You know how sometimes things are not where they are supposed to be.”

Spike muttered saying, “Angel the wanker just wants me gone. He doesn’t want competition. I just want to do the good fight and Angel is trying to do it here. I don’t have Buffy to go back to, I can’t go to her friends and I can’t fight the good fight alone.”

He stopped talking and drank down 4 more shots within a matter of minutes.

Lorne didn’t know how much liquor this boy could hold but figured he had to be getting pretty drunk.

He was really curious about something so he said, “Why don’t you go pick something to sing, Spike.”

Spike looked around the room and shrugged saying, “give me another double and I will.”

Lorne shrugged giving him another double and watched as Spike threw it back easy enough.

Spike then walked up to the microphone to sing a song that meant something to his heart.

Good Night Sweet Girl by Ghost of the Robot

Are we done for now/or is this for good/Will there be something in time?/With us there should./Only girl for me is you/There can be no other one/If I didn’t have faith/I would come undone/So much promise in your eyes/Seems I can only see/It makes me wonder/If you save it all for me/Maybe you do/Maybe you don’t/Maybe you should/Probably won’t/’Cause there will be/There will be other guys/Who will whisper in your ear/Say they’ll take away your sadness/And your fears/They may be kind and true/They may be good for you/But they’ll never care for you/More than I do/I’ll always be there/There to the end/I can’t do much/But be your one true friend/To the end/Through the end/With each other till the end/of time/Still see the promise in your eyes/And still wonder if its for me/But I know it’s still there/Even when you sleep/So I say good night sweet girl

Spike bowed and heard the crowd cheer and yell, “Encore.”

Spike was so drunk and missing Buffy that he shrugged and started to sing again.

Smile by James Marsters

In, I’m falling in/I didn’t want to/Not so fast boy/Slow/Don’t wanna hurt the girl/Give her a pretty box/You’d better fill it/And I get blinded when she opens the door/It’s like looking into the sun, you know/And I’m just blinkin’, mumblin’, starin’ at my shoes/And she just looks at me/And smiles/Smiles, smiles/Oh, there we go again/And it feels so good/We’re fallin’ up and down/Damn it’s 2 am again/And she kisses me goodbye/for the sixteenth time/And I’m drivin’ home, it’s 5 am/And I look at the sun come up over the hills/Clouds are turnin’ pink and green/And all I can see is her eyes/Eyes,eyes/And I get blinded when she opens the door/It’s like looking into the sun, you know/And I’m just blinkin’, mumblin’, starin’ at my shoes/And she just looks at me/And smiles/Smiles smiles…smiles

Spike bowed as the place went up in cheers.

Spike stepped off the stage and sat down saying, “Another double greenie?”

Lorne sighed and poured him a double. Lorne was amazed at that reading. It was purely love and he knew Angel was doing wrong but could do nothing about it.

He gave Spike two more doubles before Angel buzzed to see if Spike was there and asked for him to be sent up. He took a piece of paper jotting down a recipe and handed over to Lorne saying, “When I buzz you in the morning, bring me that.”

Lorne nodded and watched as Spike took a double with him as he went into the room.

Lorne said to himself watching Spike breeze out of the club, “That boy is love walking on two legs.”

He shook his head thinking Angel was doing a real injustice to those two lovebirds. He wondered if it was returned love.

He made a point to invite Buffy and Angel to his club tonight to see if he can make both of them sing something.

Spike lit up a cigarette not caring about the people who were glaring at him.

He kicked open Angel’s door and said, “You sent me on a wild goose chase. There was no bleeding temple and bloody hell all that was there were cows!”

Angel knew he had to get rid of Spike and fast and knew just the mission. This one would really exist but it was already looted but Spike could be told it was looted just before he got there.

Angel stood up knowing he had to handle this with care in order to make Spike still leave.

Spike looked at him strangely smelling vanilla on him but Buffy was heavy on his mind so he was probably just imagining it. Ever since he sang that song, Buffy was really on his mind.

He heard Angel say, “I’m sorry Spike. I was just going off what I was told. I didn’t expect you back so soon and was going to give this mission to Gunn but he’s in a case and I really need this done. I was told today that there’s a scroll in the tomb in Egypt. The temple really exists I promise you. I need you to get there before the demons raid it. It won’t take you that long. Probably 3 days max.”

Spike sighed feeling drunk and tired saying, “Am I leaving right away? I’d rather get there and get back already.”

He was going crazy feeling like Buffy was everywhere and needed to get out of here.

Angel nodded saying, “Plane is ready and Spike be careful.”

Spike put out his cigarette in Angel’s blood mug and waltzed out of the room to go do this mission.

---

Chapter 5: Gentle Reminders

---

Buffy used the elevator to go up to Angel’s waiting room.

He had made sure to shower every carefully and change his clothes before asking for Spike to ensure he wouldn’t catch her scent.

Buffy walked into the waiting room and got an overpowering since of Spike. She sat down in the cry not even telling Angel she was there as she sat down and cried. She smelled his cigarette smell and the scent of leather and she knew none of these existed but she smelt it so strong.

She decided to change her mind and just went back down using the elevator. Angel who sat at his desk never even noticed Buffy had been there nor heard her tears as he was too caught up in his latest instructions from the Senior Partners.

Buffy ran into her room and flung herself on her bed. She could almost swear she could feel Spike’s presence as she rubbed her scar and closed her eyes rolling onto her back feeling as though she were laying on a gentle moving plane and felt Spike pulled her against him and kiss her tears away and then wrap his arms around her whispering, “Good night sweet girl. You’re safe, I have you.” She could smell the familiar scent smell of leather and tobacco and the added bonus of hearing Spike’s voice comforted her so she fell right to sleep.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike yawned and stretched out in the plane. This bloody plane was becoming his new home and he didn’t like it.

He was tired of Angel’s wild goose chases and decided if this one didn’t pan out to be real, he was going to do some serious ass kicking when he got home. He really didn’t mind missions as long as they had a purpose. Lately these had not.

He grabbed a blanket then sighed remembering covering Buffy up for the night with her and always making sure she was warm since he knew he couldn’t keep her warm. He closed his eyes feeling an unwelcoming amount of sadness. He rubbed his scar for comfort and he was half way in the dream state when he felt as though he was back in that white walled room with red silk sheets. He heard soft crying which reminded him of Buffy’s tears. He felt his lips brush against her tears as he kissed them away and smelled vanilla and strawberries as he pulled her close and whispered, “Good night sweet girl. You’re safe. I have you.” He could almost hear her sigh as she slept into sleep and soon her followed comforted by the smell of vanilla and strawberry.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy awoke and sighed realizing she lived for yet another day. She rolled out of bed hearing repetitive pounding on her door.

She opened it to find Harmony. Harmony said, “I brought you some breakfast. I hope you don’t mind. Fred’s busy today and Angel’s in a meeting for another hour. He said you can eat up and he’ll call you for you in an hour. Do you mind if I ask you a question Buffy?”

Buffy shrugged and said, “Come in Harmony,” figuring if she decided to eat her, at least life would be over.

She sipped her juice as she spread cream cheese on the bagel she had no intention to eat but wanted to appear as though she was too busy to eat. She didn’t want Harmony butting in and making trouble.

Harmony said, “I heard rumors that you and Spike were involved at the end….did you love him?”

Buffy looked a little shocked by her question and her statement. She was involved with Spike at the end. She did love him.

She replied, “Did Angel tell you to ask me?”

Harmony shook her head saying, “Actually we aren’t allowed to say Spike’s name in his building for fear of dying a horrible bloody death.”

Buffy giggled thinking that sounded so much like Angel it wasn’t funny so she shrugged.

Harmony said, “You just look like someone killed your best friend.”

Buffy said softly, “Someone did.”

Harmony frowned saying, “so you loved Spike?”

Buffy sighed and before she realized what she was saying, “Yea I love him. I couldn’t help it. It doesn’t mean I love Angel any less, just differently I guess. Angel was my childhood love, my knight in shining armor. Spike is my grown up love. We went through a lot together and grew really close. He was my best friend.”

Harmony nodded saying, “So that’s why you look ill, because of Spike.”

Buffy nodded but didn’t say a word. Harmony was a ditz but sometimes she was pretty darn smart.

Harmony said, “I don’t think I ever really loved Spike but he was pretty sexy.”

Buffy slightly smiled at Harmony.

Harmony stood up saying, “I’d better go back to answering the phones.”

She disappeared from sight before Buffy could realize the troubled look in her eyes. She did care about Spike but wanted Spike happy. Spike loved Buffy and Buffy loved Spike so if that’s the case, why didn’t he just go to her in the first place? Harmony shook her head determined to focus on her job thinking love was just too complicated for her little head.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike touched down in Egypt. It was nighttime in Egypt so Spike was able to step off the plane in style. The whole smoking blanket tended to cramp his style so thank some power for time differences.

He had a map Angel had given him along with directions and transportation arrangements. He looked up to see his ‘transportation’ in front of him.

He groaned thinking Angel was a definite poofer this time. Before him stood 3 men on camels and an extra camel which he presumed was for him.

He grumbled as one of the three wise men jumped down from the camel saying, “We need to travel today to get there by sunrise so we can get you to shelter. Sitting in the middle of a desert gets really sunny. It is a good night for camel traveling.”

Spike rolled his eyes but got up on the bloody camel imagining how when he got back to L.A. he could rip out Angel’s dead heart and sell it on the black market. He was on a bleeding camel looking lost treasure. His camel started to walk and he could swear he could feel the steam rolling off him as he realized he had a full night’s travel to make on this bloody thing.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Harmony walked into Angel’s office saying, “You know boss, I usually stay out of romantic affairs around here.”

Angel spoke grimly, “Well I hope that continues Harmony. I appreciate not hearing the gossip about office romances.”

Harmony looked at her feet and said, “I think Spike should meet up with Buffy.”

Angel’s head snapped up at Harmony’s statement and he said, “WHAT??”

Harmony sighed and took a step back saying, “Well…Spike really loves her just thinks he’s not good enough and it’s really your fault he feels that way. Buffy seems mopey and unhappy and did you ever ask her why?”

Angel shook his head still not liking Harmony’s statement from before. Harmony continued taking a step back closer to the door, “Well I think Buffy misses Spike. She might even love him.”

Angel stood up and paced, “No she is just unhappy because her life changed. Buffy never did like changes in her life. She’s like a sort of puppy who follows the same path everyday, well that’s bad.”

Angel clears his throat to try again, “Like some sort of car that follows the road in front of them and when they come to a fork and they have to change lanes, they hesitate not knowing which way to go. Buffy’s like that. She’s at a fork in the road, she has friends in every state and town. She herself isn’t needed in the same place so I’m hoping she will stay here with me.”

Harmony looked at Angel cocking her head to the say saying, “Boss, Spike works here. How can you possibly hope to keep her here and Spike here at the same time? Aren’t you sending him away to keep them from meeting?”

Angel rolled his eyes saying, “I’m keeping them apart so Buffy doesn’t get so annoyed on her first few weeks here that she jumps ship. You know how much Spike annoys her. Hell he annoys everyone. I’m just trying to make her want to stay before I break the news Spike is here to annoy her.”

Harmony was tempted to believe it but she knew better but decided to say nothing.

Angel said, “Shouldn’t you be answering phones or something? Why don’t you be useful and get Buffy up here.”

Harmony took the empty mug off his desk and exited the room thinking that was a total waste of her time.

---

Chapter 6: Adventures

---

Buffy heard the buzzer say, “Angel is ready to see you now Buffy.”

Buffy looked down at her completely black outfit thinking that is just how she felt today. She used her card and pushed 3 and was taken up to the waiting room. Today there was no smell of cigarettes or leather or anything remotely Spikeish. She must have just really missed him last night.

She heard Angel say, “Come in.” Buffy walked in quietly and took a seat noticing the broken chair was either repaired really well or replaced with another that looked the same.

Angel looked at Buffy and asked, “What would you like to do today? Tonight we are both invited to Lorne’s club. They will have karaoke but I don’t sing. You can though. It will be a great way for Lorne to determine your direction if you are interested.”

Buffy shrugged not really interested but knowing she had to pretend to be, “That would be a great help.”

Angel nodded satisfied and made a note to double Lorne’s paycheck this week if he would tell Buffy that her plans lead her here. “So your day, what do you want to do? It’s cloudy so we could do anything. Take a walk together…,”

Angel was cut off as Buffy said, “Can tonight after we go to Lorne’s club, can we do some serious slaying?”

Angel thought about what Giles had said for a moment. Giles had said she was a walking suicide bomb but he’d be there to keep her safe and she seemed interested so he said, “Sure, there’s a big vampire nest on the east side of town I’ve been trying to wait for Gunn and Wesley to both be available for. I think Gunn is available tonight so we can have him suit up and go too if you want.”

Buffy smiled not feeling very happy inside but needing something to do that might give her a bit of a rush. She looked at Angel , “Can I go shopping?”

Angel looked into the hopeless sad eyes of Buffy and knew he couldn’t deny her. He had wanted her to spend a day out on the town with him but if she wanted to go shopping, he’d make sure she had fun. Angel reached into his desk handing over a credit card , “That’s my personal card. Knock yourself out. It has no limit. I’ll call Fred and she can go with you if you’d like.”

Buffy was so thankful Angel wasn’t going to try to take him herself. She smiled , “That would be great.” She liked Fred. Fred was buzzed and together Fred and Buffy went to go shopping.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike was mumbling the whole way in this desert. It was hot and for a vampire to be hot, it had to be really hot. He was hot, cranky, and peckish.

He was tempted to drink blood from his camel but then he’d have to walk. He wasn’t into walking in a hot desert for miles. He was thankful there was no sun but he couldn’t imagine how hot it must be in sunny days.

He yelled up to his three companions, “Seriously how much further do we have to go? I’m feeling mighty peckish.”

The only one of the three men he had ever heard talked turned around saying, “Good things comes to those who wait.”

Spike yelled back saying, “So does that mean there’s blood there?”

The man sighed and said, “Left side pouch, it’s probably even nicely warmed for you by not but ration yourself. Angel said to pack you 6 water skins full and that is all you would need.”

Spike opened the pouch taking out the water skin and taking a sip , “Bloody peaches putting me on a bloody diet. Is that some kind of joke? That teletubbie drinks enough for the whole city of L.A. to stay watered for a year and that’s just in one day.” He took another sip and put the water skin away wishing the trip was over already.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy went through store to store. She didn’t buy much. She bought a book of poetry that was Spike’s favorite at the bookstore.

She frowned knowing that she had really nothing to remember him by, only the scar on her hand which she valued. It was one thing that could never be taken from her. She had also bought mostly red and black items. She didn’t do that on purpose. She just found she was naturally drawn towards things in those colors, which were Spike’s favorite. She did buy a dark blue dress as well but she had nothing to wear it to.

Fred was having lots of fun. She was buying tons of outfits enjoying the fact it was being put on Angel’s credit card. She commented that she has no females to shop with since Angel’s team is made up of males other than Harmony. Buffy found herself smiling sometimes, really enjoying Fred’s company. Fred had lots to talk about. Sometimes Fred would be rambling so much she’d have to stop herself short in the middle of the story to make sure Buffy didn’t have anything to say. Buffy didn’t realize Fred was stopping herself to cut Spike out of her stories.

They walked by a leather shop and Buffy found herself standing in front of the window with a long leather trench coat.

Fred watched Buffy’s longing expression saying, “Did you want that coat Buffy?”

Buffy shook her head as a stray tear fell that she quickly brushed away. Buffy took a deep breath to gain control of her emotions and whispered softly, “Reminds me of someone I once loved.”

Fred nodded knowing Spike had a coat similar to that so she said, “Sometimes it’s hard to forget the ones you love.”

Buffy nodded in agreement, “He died for a good cause. He saved the world you know. He saved me. Didn’t believe I loved him, the stupid vampire. I imagine he got to go to heaven. I was in heaven once, it’s a nice place…”

Buffy trailed off before she said too much. Fred wrapped her arm around Buffy letting her bags swing against her arm saying, “Want some ice cream?” Buffy smiled and nodded letting Fred lead the way.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike was tired. He had been on the camel for what seemed like hours. He could feel that it was still in the middle of the night but he was tired of bumping around on the back of this beast. Couldn’t Angel have been less creative on his choice of transportation? Spike was tempted to whip out his phone and give him a peace of his mind but didn’t want to do it until he had the bloody damn scroll in his hand. He hoped this scroll was written in blood or something that was really important because this adventure so far stank big deal.

When he agreed to fight the good fight, Buffy never had him running around in the desert looking for scrolls. He was told to go beat up some demons. Now that was his kind of work.

The talking wise man turned around saying, “Got a few hours left. We should reach the place about 2 hours prior to sunrise giving you plenty of time to get settled in for the daytime. We can sleep through the day then get up and travel by night per Angel’s instructions. He said you were not to travel by day unless we wanted to clean up a mess.”

Spike blurted out, “Yea the big poof would like that. Getting rid of his good ole pal Spike. Then he wouldn’t have competition and wouldn’t have a pain his royal fat ass. Life is just brilliant isn’t it?”

The wise man turned to face forward determined to let him have his tantrum with no audience.

Spike yelled up towards the sky, “I bet you are loving it you great powers to be. You think you can let Angel kick my ass? Well guess what? I’m better than that. I want to save the world one case at a time and if it means I take a bloody camel into the hot desert then that is what I will bleeding do!”

He took a water skin from his pouch and took another few sips of blood and sighed feeling discouraged and abused but confident he could deal with this and come out on top.

---

Chapter 7: Cat Napping

---

Buffy yawned as she walked into Angel’s office to return the credit card. She hadn’t been so wiped out in a while.

Shopping with Fred sure took a lot out of a girl. She had even been hungry enough to eat some of her ice cream. Granted there was no nutritional value in ice cream but Fred seemed happy as can be to see she was eating and it tasted good.

She remembered one time Spike and her had raided the ice cream in his crypt and did unbelievable things with it. She grinned for a moment thinking of cold ice cream on warm skin and the ways to make a vampire warm mmmm.

She snapped out of the memory and looked up to say to Angel, “Thank you for the card. We did tons of shopping as you can see from the bags back in the waiting room and that’s only half. Fred brought some already down to my place already.”

She didn’t bother to tell Angel that a lot of the money spent was on Fred but that didn’t seem important so she continued, “I’m sorry but I’m exhausted. Shopping with Fred took a lot of my energy out of me and I want to be in tip-top shape for battling the vampires tonight. Do you mean horribly if I nap?”

Angel shook his head thinking he had some more work to do plus he wanted to talk to Wesley about something but that could wait until tomorrow, “I don’t mind. I want you to be well rested to enjoy Lorne’s club and to enjoy slaying. See you in a few hours Buffy.”

He leaned in to kiss her but she didn’t let him and walked away. Angel sat down at his desk brooding thing that this little plan of his wasn’t going so well.

Then he heard a buzz from Fred saying, “Angel can I come see you? I have something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Angel sighed hoping it wasn’t about Buffy but had no choice but to hear the girl out and said, “Certainly.”

Fred came in and pulled one of the chairs next to Angel saying, “I talked to Buffy today a lot. She seems depressed and lonely. Now I’m not saying you don’t have the ability to cheer her up but so far it hasn’t really worked. I think she’s missing Spike. I know it’s none of my business but Angel, I really think she might love Spike.”

Angel stood up and looked in Fred’s direction not wanting to yell at her but wanted her to understand this wasn’t up for debate. He paced twice back and forth twice then looked at Fred again saying, “He’s no good for her. He’s selfish, uncaring and has killed more people than Buffy even realizes. He has a horrible temper and can’t grow old and give her children.”

Fred sighed and put her hand on Angel’s arm saying, “You can’t either you know.”

He turned around removing her hand and said, “I will be human though. I’ll earn the prophecy and can make all Buffy’s dreams come true. She’s cookie dough you know and she said she imagined a future with me and not with Spike.”

Fred sighed and said, “You know best boss.” She quietly exited the office thinking that this is going to definitely end badly.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy laid down on her bed rubbing her scar missing Spike like crazy. She was tired and needed his strength to get through this life. She could do it alone but she wanted to do it with Spike not alone. Part of her felt really selfish for missing him so badly when he saved the world for her. What more could a guy do for a girl than to die saving the world?

She sighed and closed her eyes and smiled as she felt his cool arms surrounded her. She could feel the soft leather cover her as he arranged it over them both. She felt herself gently being rocked back and forth as though rocked to sleep and felt herself grow warm from warm air that surrounded her. She sighed one last time to fall asleep feeling as though she were in Spike’s embrace.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike was getting tired of this journey. His thoughts brought him to Buffy.

He knew he would never love anyone else in this world and was willing to live with that if it meant she would have a happy and normal life. He found himself rubbing the scar again as he longed for the comfort of her in his arms.

He sighed and tied the reins of the camel around his waist thinking that the bloody stupid animal was following his camel friends and didn’t need him away. He leaned his head down on the camel’s neck and wrapped his arms around it. All at once he found himself on that red silk bed with Buffy. She was so tired and she smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head smelling in her familiar scent. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy was jolted awake suddenly and looked around realizing she must have been sleeping for a few hours.

She quickly got up and looked at the new outfits she bought. She chose a simple red skirt with a white tank top. She pulled on a black jacket over it and pulled on white lacy socks that matched her white lacy bra and panties and pulled on her comfortable black boots.

She figured if she didn’t get a chance to change, she would be able to wear this out to kiss some ass anyway since the skirt was loose enough. She left her hair down as she closed her eyes imagining Spike running his hand through her hair and then opened her eyes determined not to get into a crying episode when she was probably already running late.

She swiped her card in the elevator and pushed 3 to head towards Angel’s office.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike was jolted when the camel came to a stop. He looked around as he untied the reins from around his waist and saw a tomb in front of him.

He jumped off the camel saying, “This the place?” The three men nodded and Spike brought his water skin of blood with him as he took a sip looking around inside.

He screamed, “Bloody Hell!”

The three men followed him in and saw the place was looted and empty.

He whipped out his cell phone and hit 1 saying, “You wanker! It’s looted. There’s nothing left including the scroll…well perhaps a day or two prior. I might be able to find who did it but is this so really bleeding important? Of course I want to help. OF COURSE I find doing good things important. Bloody Hell you poof I’ll find the damn scrolls. I hope it’s written in blood for this much trouble. Oh go to hell!”

He hung up the phone and kicked some dirt as he put his phone away. He looked down noticing there were footprints made by a three-toed demon. He looked around and noticed green ooze in various places and he sighed knowing that Wesley would be able to tell him what kind of demon this was. He was the expert on this kind of thing. He held down 4 for Wesley’s cell and said, “Hey watcher boy. I got a job for you. Oh well can you look up this quickly? Probably won’t take too long, I’m on a tight nighttime schedule. Yea about 2 hours left before sunrise. I’m in bloody Egypt spending time on a camel in the desert. Isn’t that nice? Oh yea. Ok so three-toed demons, ooze green puss everywhere. Oh yea I see three fingered handprints too. Wow you know that off the top of your head? Well you enjoy Lorne’s club tonight and send everyone my best. Ciao.”

He hung up the phone turning to the three men saying, “Know where I can find a dark cave that might house some Polegi Demons?”

---

Chapter 8: Battling

---

Buffy sighed sitting in the club.

Lorne took Angel aside saying, “Apple Strudel, she’s not having fun. See if you can get her to sing. Does she like to sing?”

Angel shrugged saying, “I’ve never heard her sing so I’m not sure.”

Lorne patted his arm saying, “Well either ask her to dance or have her sing. She’s not happy right now and her sighs are even sending out bored vibes.”

Angel nodded and took Lorne’s advice saying. “Buffy why don’t you sing something. It’s fun. I even sang for Lorne a few times.”

Buffy looked at Lorne who looked so hopeful she couldn’t let the green demon down so she said, “Ok but I get to choose right?”

Lorne nodded and took her to the stage saying, “We have a beauty here to sing for you tonight. Not sure what she will choose but I’m sure we are in for a treat. Let’s here for Buffy!”

Buffy whispered to Lorne, “I need you to sing the demon parts if that’s ok.” Lorne smiled at her saying, “Sure thing buttercup.”

Going through the motions By Buffy Summers

Every single night the same arrangement/I go out and fight the fight/Still I always feel the strangest strangement/ Nothing here is real, nothing here is right/I’ve been making shows of trading blows/just hoping no one knows/walking through the part/nothing seems to penetrate my heart/I was always brave and kind of righteous/now I find I’m waivering/crawl out of your grave you’ll find this fight/just doesn’t mean a thing

Lorne sang out: she ain’t got that swing
Buffy continued: Thanks for noticing!
Lorne continued: She does pretty well with things from hell/but lately we can tell she’s been going through the motions/faking it somehow/she’s not even half the girl she…ow
Buffy grinned continuing: Will I stay this way forever/sleep walk through my life’s endeavor
Lorne folded his hands together saying: How can I repay you…?
Buffy turned away form him saying: Whatever! going through the motions/loosing all my drive/I can’t even see if this is really me/and I just want to be alive!

The crowd cheered and Lorne frowned knowing what this girl was going through. The crowd yelled, “Encore! Encore!”

Buffy laughed and said, “Ok one more.” The crowd sang and she watched as Lorne stepped down to go sit with Angel and the gang as Buffy started her next song.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Lorne looked at Angel saying, “I know you love that girl up there but her heart is singing another tune. Angel cakes you are going to have to let her go to live her destiny.”

Angel looked at Lorne saying, “Destinies change, as do hearts. She just needs time to be reminded I’m her one true love and that Spike was just convenient. I know her heart Lorne, I’m in it.”

Lorne nodded saying, “You are in it but I don’t think it’s the part driving.”

Angel shook his head not wanting to believe it saying, “She just needs time to remember what we were like and whom she loves. In time she’ll remember. I know she will.”

Lorne didn’t look convinced but said no more as he listened to Buffy’s heart and soul bleeding on the floor for her lost love.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

What Hurts the Most By Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house/That don’t bother me/I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out/I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while/Even though going on with you gone still upsets me/There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok/But that’s not what gets me/What hurts the most/was being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/And never knowing/what could have been/And seeing that loving you/Is what I was trying to do/It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go/But I’m doing it/It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone/Still harder/Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret/But I know if I could do it over/I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart/That I left unspoken/What hurts the most/Is being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/Never knowing/What could have been/and not seeing that loving you/Is what I was trying to do/What hurts the most/is being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/And never knowing/What could have been/And not seeing that loving you/Is what I was trying to do/Not seeing that loving you/That’s what I was trying to do..ooooh

Buffy wiped a few tears that had fallen and heard the crowd go wild.

She bowed and jumped off the stage barely taking the time to hand Lorne back the microphone. She rushed into the bathroom to dry her eyes.

Fred followed her in and said, “That was amazing. You can really sing girl.”

Buffy smiled at Fred and smiled saying, “The crowd seemed to like it.”

Fred nodded and said, “You look ok you know. If you flush the toilet the guys will just think you drank too much.”

Buffy smiled gratefully and returned to the table with Fred and barely even noticed as the table got completely quiet the moment she returned.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Lorne looked at Angel saying, “I’m serious Angel. Singing doesn’t lie. That sweet girl in there is dying for Spike’s return and he’s crying for her too.”

Angel looked surprised, “Spike sang?”

Lorne nodded, “He sang for me last night. They are two lost souls cream puff. You have got to reconsider.”

Angel shook his head saying, “She’s on her way back here. I don’t want to hear another word about it. She’s just confused is all.”

Lorne sighed but said no more.

Wesley listened closely to the conversation determined to find out once and for all what is going on. Something was really wrong with this picture.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike sighed staring at the cave. It had taken almost 2 hours just to get there and sunrise was arriving fast. The camel lovers didn’t want to bring him where the cave was but reluctantly and with some threatening of being peckish for human blood, they agreed.

So here he was outside the cave that contained at least two Polegi demons. The men had set up camp in a tent nearby so it didn’t appear like they were going to help so Spike was on his own. He was itching for some violence anyway.

He was pissed off and rightly so after these last two missions. He just wanted to go back to L.A. shove the scroll up Angel’s ass and call it a night.

He entered the cave vamping out to see his surroundings better and found himself staring into the face of three demons. He sighed knowing this was going to hurt and hoped the 5 water skins that were left would be enough to heal him. He threw a punch at the one demon aiming it so he bumped into the other demon causing them both to fall down. This left him face to face with the last demon that he side kicked causing him to tumble down over the other two.

He jumped on the last demon, who was on the top of the pile, punching him over and over again as the other two managed to get up. Together they pulled Spike off him and into a wall, which he hit hard. He felt his bones protest but not break luckily so he jumped up back to face two demons.

The one he had badly beaten was still lying on the floor trying to get his bearings. So that left just two demons left for now.

He threw a punch at one hitting him in the face cutting his knuckles on his big yellow teeth and feeling ooze collect on his hand as he round kicked the other in the stomach causing him to double over in pain.

Only one demon was left standing upright so he grabbed a hold of a rock that was hanging above his head and used that to lift himself off the ground and walked up the front of the demon to pummel him with a solid kick as Spike swung still holding on to the rock.

The second demon got up right as the third hit the ground and Spike twisted to kick him hard then swung off the rock to land on him and started pummeling him over and over again in the face and head to hopefully knock him senseless. The demon lifted his head to try to bite Spike and Spike used the opportunity twist his neck killing him on the spot.

Spike jumped up flinging the ooze off his hands and pulled the first demon off the ground and managed to twist his neck too as the third three demon picked up him and threw him against the wall again cutting his upper lip and above his eye.

He roared as he kicked the demon against the wall knocking it out before he broke its neck. He then kicked the bodies to the side and sighed looking around. He found three scrolls, which he tucked in his pocket and looked around for a place to rest.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy rushed into the vampire’s nest followed by Gunn and Angel.

Angel took the right, Gunn took the left, and Buffy took the center. She threw a punch at the first vampire knocking down the ones behind him. She grinned and jumped on him punching his face before dusting him just as she kicked the one beside her to give her time to roll over to stand up.

She glanced around seeing Gunn and Angel doing ok so she side kicked a vampire and then another knocking both backwards and then joined her feet together to double kick the vampire in front of her landing gracefully back on both feet. She swung around bringing her left leg up to kick another vampire and then jumped on him to dust him as well.

She felt the first rush she has felt in a while as she turned around to dust another vampire who was leaping in her direction. He had swung once and missed but on the second round managed to hit her above her eye cutting it. She kicked him to the ground dusting him before he even hit the surface.

She grinned wiping the dust off her hands as she jumped up while turning around and kicked another vampire who had decided to jump in the bunch. She knocked him down and noticed he had blond hair like Spike. She got lost for a minute until she noticed he got the upper hand.

He punched her eye cutting above it causing her blood to fill the air making the vampire more crazed. She struggled under him and finally managed to roll over and dusted him as she felt tears sting her eyes.

She looked up to see Gunn offer her a hand up, which she accepted.

She quickly brushed away the tears just as Gunn noticed them and turned away saying, “I saw you kicking those vampire’s asses. Angel wasn’t lying when he said you are a lean mean fighting machine.”

Buffy smiled slightly and said, “You aren’t too bad yourself from what I did see.”

He shrugged saying, “When you have lived on the streets, you pick up a thing or two about survivor. It’s fight or die. Nothing fancy.”

Buffy looked over and shrugged dusting the vampire fighting Angel and said, “Let’s get out of here.” She was sporting a cut over her eye from a punch she didn’t dodge but other than that, she was in pretty good shape. She was dying to get back.

---

Chapter 9: Just Another Day

---

Spike found a clean spot near a few coins, which he shoved in his pocket and peeled off his jacket and laid down on top of it as he suddenly felt a warm, damp body near him. She smelt fresh out of the shower and her hair was even a bit wet. He refused to open his eyes knowing the drill by now and wrapped his arms around her and noticed a cut over her eye, and whispered to her, “You’re hurt above your eye.” He felt the blond image nod in front of him saying, “So are you.” He hugged her closely listening to her heartbeat, which sounded so clear even though it was not real. The silk sheets felt so soft and warm as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy turned and waved to Angel and Gunn saying, “That was almost fun. We should do it again soon.”

Angel was happy to see she was chattering when they were walking back to the car. She listened attentively as they shared their experiences and then shared her own with the vampire nest.

She sighed though as she now felt the rush leave her. She swiped her card punching 1 and leaned against the wall as the elevator took her down.

She stripped out of her clothes jumping into the shower for a quick rinse off. She washed the dirt and grim out of her hair and sighed as she noticed the cut over her eye was definitely noticeable. Hopefully over night it would heal.

She crawled into bed after sliding on a long shirt and felt arms wrap around her. She swore she could hear him speak as though he were right here with her, “You’re hurt above your eye.” She nodded within thinking it was fake saying, “So you are.” She sighed as he hugged her closely and let the safety of his arms lure her to sleep. Before she drifted off she could have sworn it felt as though she were sleeping in a cave on his soft leather jacket.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike groaned as he rolled over sensing it was the start of nightfall. He threw his jacket back around him and looked around the cave one more time to see if there was anything else worth bringing. He saw a particularly interesting urn and a vial of something, which he walked outside with and added to the satchel on the side of his camel.

The three desert dwellers were already saddling up to get going. The talking one said, “Ready to go there son?”

Spike nodded just aiming to get out of here. He knew there was another night’s travel ahead of him plus a long plane ride. Plus he would lose 9 hours. He wouldn’t make it back really for another full day and into the night so he would be gone close to the 3 days Angel expected even with his rushing to get the job done tonight.

He sighed climbing back on his damn camel’s back and took out a water skin and downed it to help ease his banged up body and the cut above his head and then took a few sips of another. He figured he finished a water skin on the way out so one should be enough for the way back but he’d leave 2 just in case of trouble.

He growled taking another sip muttering, “I still bet that tub of blood was just drinking tons of blood leaving good ole Spike here with the leftovers.”

He honestly was content with the amount Angel had planned for him but it didn’t like to feel like he was living on rations like a pet. He sighed again as the camels started to move closer to the end of his mission.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy woke up to Harmony buzzing her saying, “I’m coming down in 5 to bring your breakfast again. Want anything special or are bagels and apple juice ok?”

Buffy felt a tad bit hungry but figured that was fine, “That’s fine. Thanks.”

Buffy got up and changed into jogging pants and a tank top deciding to slum it today.

She had no idea what she would be doing but her muscles were sore after her work out with the vampires yesterday. She actually hoped to hit a gym today. She figured with all this stuff there had to be a workout area around here and she was enjoying the feeling of her muscles aching. It felt good to feel something for a change.

She looked in the mirror noticing the cut looked a little better and for a moment she remembered the cuts she had on her hand that Spike had tenderly took care of for her. S

he shook her head snapping herself out of it as Harmony bounced into the room carrying an orange, apple juice, two bagels and a mug of warm blood which she guessed meant Harmony was planning to eat with her.

Buffy shrugged going to sit down on the chair across from Harmony and grabbed the juice taking a few sips to wash down the vitamins she had put in her hand to take. She decided to eat some of the bagel today and started to spread the cream cheese over the top of it as Harmony studied her for a minute.

Harmony broke the silence saying, “How’d you get hurt?”

Buffy shrugged saying, “Vampire punched me. Luckily I didn’t get a black eye, just the cut.”

Harmony nodded and took some sips of her blood enjoying the taste. She never missed human blood anymore. She was so used to otter that she had no complaints.

Harmony decided to brave the topic she was curious about and said, “If Spike were alive today…what would you do?”

Buffy looked up at Harmony who was taking another sip of her blood and Buffy figured the girl was just trying to make conversation.

She figured she was harmless enough and said, “I’m not sure. He’s dead and died for a good cause. I feel selfish for wanting him back.”

Harmony said nothing not really understanding that logic but figured she lacked a soul and maybe that was a soul deal so instead she said, “Would you want him around? He was always annoying you and stuff.”

Buffy thought about that for a moment and before she could stop the words said, “I miss his annoying self. He had a way of making me get so angry but I liked it. I felt something. I miss the feeling of being annoyed. I miss the sound of his voice saying, ‘SLAYER’ all cranky like.”

Buffy looked up noticing she was actually talking to Harmony and said, “Why?”

Harmony shrugged not wanting to give anything away or Angel would kill her and instead said, “I’ve never loved anyone like that before really. I know vampires can love and love well especially souled. I can’t believe Spike got a soul for you.”

Buffy looked surprised saying, “Angel tell you that?”

Harmony shook her head saying, “No Willow did when Willow came.”

Buffy nodded thinking that made sense. Harmony breathed a sigh in relieve thinking Buffy bought it. Harmony looked up noticing she had actually eaten one of the smaller bagels but that was about it. S

he shrugged thinking that was all she was going to eat and said, “Angel said when you get done breakfast you can go upstairs to see him. Want me to bring you up?”

Buffy noticed Harmony didn’t say anything about her awful eating habits and said, “Sure.” She tossed the rest of the food into her getting full garbage can and followed Harmony up to Angel’s office.

---

Chapter 10: Upping the Stakes

---

“I need you to make Buffy feel like she’s needed here. She seemed happy spending time with me last night for once and I want to make sure she sticks around. For her to do that, she has to feel like she had a duty here to stay and help. Can you arrange something for her to do?, “Angel said looking directly at Fred.

Fred swallowed hard and thought of something saying, “I think I have just the thing that will give her something to do.”

Fred smiled just as there was a knock at the door.

Buffy entered the room followed by Harmony who said, “Buffy is here boss.”

Angel rolled his eyes and then said to Buffy, “Just the person we were looking for. Fred has a project for you to do. She needs your help.”

Angel had no idea what Fred could possibly have for her to do and instead left Fred lead her out of the office hoping this worked.

If not, he would have Gunn try, and then Wesley and lastly Lorne. Lorne was a loose bullet and he didn’t want Buffy with him actually. Hopefully Fred would help.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike sighed wishing for more violence. Sitting on the back of a beastie that didn’t even require much water to live, wasn’t his idea of a good time. He just wanted to scream and fight something even the camel but instead he knew he had a long way to go and only this beastie to get him there.

He took more sips of blood for something to do feeling so antsy. He would so rip Angel’s head off and watch him dust for this. He hoped his next mission was more physical. He closed his eyes rubbing his scar wishing for release.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy found herself absently rubbing her scar and Fred noticed and commented, “Where’d you get that?”

Buffy stopped rubbing it saying, “Sunnydale.”

Fred nodded saying, “Does it still hurt?”

Buffy shook her head saying, “No, it actually helps comfort me.”

Fred nodded saying, “How’d you get it?”

Buffy frowned not sure what to say. She thought about not answering but Fred looked so curious she said, “Fire actually. The last time I saved the world…”

She didn’t know what to say so finally she said, “Spike saved the world in the last battle by wearing an amulet. As it was working, he screamed out my name and of course I went running. We grasped hands as I whispered I love you and our hands caught fire. If he was alive today I’m sure he would have a matching one.”

Fred reached for Buffy’s hand studying it for a minute and said, “Want to learn more about it? It doesn’t look like a normal burn, almost looks magical.”

Buffy shrugged and said, “How would I find out more about it?”

Fred reached getting a little knife and rubbing it over the scar scraping the skin gently and said, “Let’s look!”

Fred took the skin cells placing them on a slide and put them under a microscope and pulled the slide out of a second microscope and rubbed the other hand without the scar with it. She put a different slide and slid them under the microscope. She looked at both and noticed different skins types.

She grinned saying, “Look!” Buffy looked and noticed the skin was different.

Fred was curious but needed to get rid of Buffy to test her theory. She said, “Ok Buffy, I need you to compare two things. It works similar to the skin samples but a little different. We have a demon who is having a baby and claims she mated with someone from her own tribe but we think it was from someone in another tribe. We have 15 DNA samples from each tribe. Your job is to compare the DNA samples. It’s time consuming but easy to do watch.”

Fred hit a few buttons on the computer and Buffy watched as two DNA strains popped up.

Fred pointed to the one on the right saying, “That is the baby’s. the one on the left is the combination of what would come from the mother and father joined. If they match, you tag it with the spacebar. If not you ignore it and keep scrolling down.”

Buffy nodded thinking she can handle that. She sat down in the chair and got straight to work.

Fred knew the computer could do that but didn’t want to let Buffy know that. She was more curious about these skin cells.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy stretched after 3 hours of spending time looking at DNA after DNA, she had found a perfect match. It seems the demon girl was getting it on definitely with the other tribe so that means Angel would have to step in and negotiate the results. Buffy was bored though. Surely there was something in this building more exciting.

She looked at Fred who said, “I’d try to visit Gunn for a while. He might be able to teach you something cool.”

Buffy whispered softly feeling a tad bad, “Does he have a more physical kind of job?”

Fred knew he didn’t but said, “Maybe.” Buffy shrugged hoping for the best as she followed Fred.

Fred had been researching skin cells. She tested Spike’s that they had taken when he was first turned from his ghost self to his non-ghost self. Knowing the scar was on Spike made it easy enough to trace the skin cells on him. The scar was the result of his skin being burnt onto hers and vice versa. Fred didn’t know what that meant but somehow their skins were merged together at that exactly location. It was fascinating if nothing else.

Fred smiled as she went off to find Wesley to tell him what she figured out.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy sat typing up reports for Gunn. God she was so much hating this place. She longed to be able to lie on her bed and just sleep peacefully and not have to type up law reports that said words she didn’t even understand. If she didn’t know better would think it was in a foreign language. She longed for action. She already knew that this wasn’t the place for her. She didn’t belong in an office. She belonged out there fighting the good fight but she only wished she were motivated to do so. Right now she just felt like lying down and dying but knew that wasn’t a possibility.

This place was reminding her of Spike. She could almost close her eyes and sense him walking the same walls she was walking, visiting the same offices she was visiting and it was weird. She just couldn’t shake the feeling he had been here.

She shrugged it off thinking he might have done a surprise visit to Angel after the soul addition to his body. Angel seemed surprised though so she highly doubted that was the case.

She sighed typing up another report. She had two more to go then she was supposed to visit Lorne’s again because they thought she was having so much fun there last night. Singing was ok but it made her miss Spike. When she was on the stage she could almost feel that he had been there too. It was an eerie feeling but she liked the comfort of feeling that he was still surrounding her. God she longed for sleep where he would really feel close.

She sighed and continued typing. The faster she typed, the faster she could go see Lorne and then the faster she could hide away in her bed feeling Spike’s arms around her for the night.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike had had it with the camel. He was so thankful it was close to sunrise and that means he was almost at the airport. Why the airport was in the middle of a desert he would never understand. Come to think of it, he didn’t think it was an airport. It was just a flat piece of land with nothing growing so they used it to land airplanes on it.

He drank another sip of his blood noticing he had only one skin left. He was thirsty today. He closed his eyes for a moment wishing for the comfort of Buffy.

For a slight moment he could almost feel her whispering to him, “Save me, Spike.” He felt her breath against his ear as he heard her whisper it again, “Save me from this world Spike and take me with you.” He sighed as he opened his eyes to see the camel had stopped and they were back at the plane.

He could almost kiss his ride home. He took the water skin and downed the rest of it before taking the urn, coins, and vial with him onto the plane making sure had the scrolls. He opened the cooler and pulled out a scotch and downed one bottle thinking there was just not enough on those shots.

He laid back to relax until it was time to sleep.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment and imagined Spike standing in front of her. She leaned forward to whispering into his ear, “Save me, Spike.” Getting no reply she leaned closer and whispered, “Save me from this world Spike and take me with you.” She felt him sigh and opened her eyes to find herself still sitting in Gunn’s office but at least she had finished typing up his reports. She put them on the pile of done and stood up to tell Angel those two people’s jobs were not for her. She needed something more physical.

---

Chapter 11: Finding a purpose

---

“Angel, Fred and Gunn gave me things to do yes, but they were so boring. I need action. I need violence. I need something that matters. It’s like being in England all over again. I have no purpose here,” Buffy paced in Angel’s office while continuing her peace, “Isn’t there anything in this office for me to do tomorrow that’s worth while?”

Angel thought for a moment and then said, “I’ll think of something. For now come on and you can get changed into something nice for Lorne’s club.”

Angel followed her down the elevator to her room. She frowned as she said, “Come in Angel” knowing she didn’t really want him in there but had no choice.

She sighed going to her bags and pulled out a black skirt with a red tank top and a white jacket cover.

She stared at Angel who turned around obediently and she pulled the clothes on and looked at herself in the mirror. She sighed noticing how pale she was, she put on some foundation to help and some powder. She added some rouge and a dab of strawberry flavored lip-gloss. The gloss reminded her of a time where Spike had licked it completely off her lips saying, “Mmm, slayer you taste so good.” She had bought a ton back then of all different flavors to see which one he liked the best.

She sighed thinking never again and turned around to see Angel smiling at her saying, “You look nice.”

She looked in the mirror seeing no one behind her but said nothing. She put on a fake smile and let her take her hand and take her upstairs.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike wasn’t tired and was just anxious to get back to L.A. He had a vial for Fred, an urn for Wesley and scrolls for Angel. He thought the trip went well even if it had to be spent on a lumpy thing all night long.

He leaned back thinking of how Buffy would have responded being on a camel in the desert for two nights. She would have been totally pissed and probably stomped the whole way there. She was really quite the gal. She was irreplaceable and he missed her so much.

Part of him was tempted to tell big honcho to go bugger off and fuck himself and go find her but she deserved better than him but it didn’t help fill the emptiness in him that only she filled.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy sighed as Lorne tried to convince her to go up there and sing again. She couldn’t think of anything as she flipped through the options and found one.

When You’re Gone By Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own/I never thought I’d need you there when I cry/And the days feel like years when I’m alone/And the bed where you lie is made up on your side/when you walk away I count the steps that you take/Do you see how much I need you right now?/When you’re gone/The pieces of my heart are missing you/When you’re gone/the face I came to know is missing too/When you’re gone/The words I need to hear to always get me through/The day and make it ok/I miss you/I’ve never felt this way before/Everything that I do, reminds me of you/And the clothes, you left lie on the floor/And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do/When you walk away, I count the steps that you take/Do you see how much I need you right now?/When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you/When you’re gone/The face I came to know is missing too/When you’re gone/The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok/I miss you/We were made for each other/Out here forever/I know you were, yeah/And alll I ever wanted was for you to know/Everything I’d do, I’d give me heart and soul/I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me/yeah/When you’re gone/The pieces of my heart are missing you/When you’re gone/the face I came to know is missing too/When you’re gone/The words I need to hear to always get me through/The day and make it ok/I miss you…

The crowd cheered again but Buffy didn’t wait for the encore to be heard. She didn’t know any other songs to sing.

She sat at the table and said, “I think I want a drink of something stronger.” Angel looked at her and shrugged signaling to Lorne to get her something.

Lorne grinned and gave her scotch. She took a drink and made an adorable alcohol face.

Fred gasped then tried to hide it but she remembered a conversation the gang had with Spike about Buffy’s adorable drinking face and Angel had said she didn’t really make that.

She looked up and met Wesley’s eyes that looked knowing at her but said nothing.

Buffy took another drink making that face and Lorne frowned. He didn’t want her to get drunk. She reached over behind Angel and started chugging the bottle.

Lorne looked at Angel as though to stop her and Angel just shrugged taking a sip of his. Buffy had downed half the bottle in one gulp. She remembered when the last time she drank was with Spike. They had gotten so drunk and had a date where he played kitten poker. She had stomped off in anger but really had hoped he would have come after her. Of course he did.

She felt the tears threatening to fall and she left the bottle on the table saying, “Night you guys. It was fun.” She stood up and rushed out of the room to return to the safeness of her bed.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Lorne looked at Angel saying, “Don’t you feel the least bit guilty over that baby girl’s pain?”

Angel shrugged not really feeling that guilty. He felt bad for her but knew he could fix it. He said in a confident voice, “It will get better. She just is still upset over Sunnydale and not fitting in. Tomorrow Wesley I want you to take Buffy to your thing and have her work on something. I don’t care what but make her feel worthy. Hell take her to some tomb or something if you want, just make her feel important.”

Wesley sighed but said nothing as Fred said, “I really think you should reconsider what you are doing.”

Angel wouldn’t listen and Lorne whispered knowing Angel could hear him anyway, “This is going to end very badly.”

He picked up the bottle setting it on the back counter in case she wanted more. He hated to waste a good bottle of scotch.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy laid on her bed in tears. She missed Spike so much and this wasn’t making it any easier. She couldn’t figure out why Xander and Giles and them sent her here. She knew why. She wasn’t honest with him and telling them that she didn’t love Angel that way anymore. This was just so hard. It was too hard in fact. She felt guilty and lonely and she ached for him.

She rolled over noticing there was a phone in her room and picked it up to call Willow.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike stepped off the airplane, which made record timing on the way back. He carried his bags, the urn and the vial and called Angel, “I’m here. Where are you?”

Angel shrugged figuring inviting him to the club at this point wouldn’t matter so he said, “The club. Got the scrolls?”

Spike replied, “The gang there? I got something for the Texan and watcher boy as well as you. I’m still pissed at you mate. I just want to lay down and sleep for days.”

Angel sighed and said, “I got a local gig for you tomorrow. Might take a while but it’s local. Then I got one in Africa but like I said the one in L.A. is local and easier so we will do that one first.”

Spike said, “See ya.” He hung up and swiped his card punching the 1 button.

---

Chapter 12: Returns

---

Lorne frowned saying, “Spike’s coming here?”

Angel nodded and Lorne said, “Um…are you sure that’s such a great idea? Buffy was here singing not more than 30 minutes ago. She was in here not more than 10 minutes ago. Isn’t there like a scent thing with you guys?” In a way Lorne hoped Angel got caught. He’d still keep his job and this whole big secret thing would be finished.

Angel shrugged, “Buffy didn’t touch anyone and I doubt Spike would know her scent that well anyway.”

Just then the door slammed open and in strutted Spike. He placed the vial in front of Fred, the urn in front of Wesley and three scrolls in front of Angel saying, “Mission completed. Hey Lorne give me that bottle of scotch off the back counter.”

Lorne was tempted to say something but shrugged handing it to Spike. Spike’s eyes got big as he took a sip. He could have sworn he tasted strawberry lip-gloss just like the stuff Buffy wore on her lips. He looked at the bottle and there was no sign of the pink stuff on the bottle so he shook it off.

He plopped himself in the chair where Buffy had left and smelled vanilla and strawberry. He sighed thinking he must really have Buffy on the brain.

Lorne looked at Spike saying, “Grace with a song or two tonight big boy?” Spike shrugged and took the microphone to start to sing.

The Reason by Hoobastank

I’m not a perfect person/There’s many things I wish I didn’t do/But I continue learning/I never meant to do those things to you/And so I have to say before I go/That I just want you to know/I’ve found a reason for me/To change who I used to be/A reason to start over new/And the reason is you/I’m sorry that I hurt you/It’s something I must live with everyday/And all the pain I put you through/I wish that I could take it all away/And be the one who catches all your tears/That’s why I need you to hear/I’ve found a reason for me/To change who I used to be/A reason to start over new/And the reason is you/I’ve found a reason to show/A side of me you didn’t know/A reason for all that I do/And the reason is you…

Spike bowed and jumped off the stage handing the microphone to Lorne.

He took the bottle with him saying, “Put it on my tab” and leaves still swearing it tasted sweet like strawberries.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy said to Willow, “Angel wasn’t my problem. Did you realize that?”

Willow replies rolling her eyes even though Buffy couldn’t see it,, “Yeah of course I knew that. I just didn’t know where else to send you. Giles thought you were suicidal. You aren’t right?”

Buffy shrugged but realized Willow couldn’t see it saying, “Well…I don’t exactly know. I wasn’t going to kill myself but sometimes when I’m fighting, it takes every ounce of strength I have to push the vampire away before he finishes me off.”

Willow sighed and said, “Is it getting any better there for you?”

Buffy replied honestly, “No. I feel like Spike was here. I feel and smell and sense him everywhere. It’s strange.”

Willow didn’t know what to say about that. She figured Buffy would just need time so she said, “So what are you plans now?”

Buffy replied in a quiet voice, “I’m not sure. I’m going to help Wesley tomorrow so he can finish up with the journals hopefully. Then I might just go back to England and sulk it out there. Being in L.A. isn’t changing anything. Angel wants something and I can’t do it. I just…he’s not…”

Willow answered for Buffy, “Spike. He’s not Spike.”

Buffy sighed but knew she was absolutely right. She whispered to Willow knowing she could be more honest over the phone than in person, “Will it get better?”

Willow answered truthfully, “I haven’t figured that out yet. I miss Tara. Sometimes so badly I can’t stand to live anymore but other times she’s there but not active. It’s like the pain is triggered. The hurt is a part of you and you no longer notice it until something reminds you of it and then all at once it hits you like a ton of bricks but then it goes back to a part of you. You’ll make it Buffy, you’re strong but it won’t be easy.”

Buffy sighed into the phone and Willow said, “When you get back though we can put on a movie that will make you and I both cry and eat ice cream until we are sick and then laugh about old times. You can ramble about Spike you run out of memories, I’ll do the same about Tara and perhaps it will make us fill better.”

Buffy smiled and said, “I hope so Willow. Thanks.”

Willow smiled saying, “What are friends for Buffy. So you will call me when you leave so I know when you are traveling?”

Buffy replied, “Sure thing Willow. Give my love to everyone when you talk to him or her. I haven’t called anyone since I’ve been here. Tell Dawn to study hard. Tell Xander to not let those girls walk over him. Tell Giles I’ll see him in a few days and you take care.”

Willow whispered, “Take care Buffy. Bye.”

Buffy hung up the phone and let the tears fall. Willow had helped but she wanted Spike. She felt a whisper of her name in Spike’s tone and stopped crying rubbing her scar slightly. She rolled over in her bed and sighed as she felt the familiar arms wrap around her and closed her eyes feeling Spike kiss away her tears whispering, “I got you. You are ok luv. Just sleep.” She smiled and felt herself drift off to sleep.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike walked into his apartment drinking the rest of the bottle and sighed. He was tempted to find Buffy. Perhaps he’d do the L.A. mission for Angel and then do the Africa one and then see if he can find out at least how Buffy is doing. Angel doesn’t say anything but he figured it because Angel doesn’t know anything.

He threw his jacket on the chair and stripped down to nothing like always and crawled into bed. He sighed rubbing the scar on his hand whispering, “Buffy.” He heard her crying and closed his eyes rolling over to his side as he imagined her body and could smell the strawberry and vanilla scent with a tad of scotch on her breath but figured that was from his bottle. He kissed away her tears and whispered into the air, “I got you. You’re ok luv. Just sleep.” He smiled as she drifted off to sleep luring him also to follow.

---

Chapter 13: A New Mission

---

Buffy woke up to Harmony’s annoying voice saying, “Rise and shine. Breakfast will arrive in 5 minutes. Same as always?”

Buffy sighed not feeling hungry and feeling like she had died. God why didn’t she remember the hangover she had after drinking with Spike. She groaned as Harmony said, “Some aspirins, orange juice, and some bread with peanut butter sound good?”

Buffy replied, “Sounds good. Thanks.”

Buffy rolled out of bed and threw on another pair of jogging pants and a blue tank top and sighed. She looked like shit. She could care less really.

She sat down as Harmony entered bringing the much need aspirin and Buffy grabbed the bottle and poured some into her mouth swallowing them without any water.

Harmony looked at her surprised saying, “You aren’t suicidal are you? I can’t do CPR being a vampire and all. I guess I could call Fred or Wesley or Gunn. They are about the only non-demon and non-vampire types in the building.”

Buffy shook her head and groaned holding it saying, “No I’m just feeling like I got run over.” She laid back on the bed and Harmony pitied the girl.

She handed Buffy some orange juice saying, “Drink up. Actually hold on.”

She buzzed Lorne and a minute or two later, Lorne knocked on the door saying, “I got a cure! Can I come in?”

Harmony answered, “Come on in but I think it’s too late, she’s dying already.”

Lorne chuckled and helped Buffy to sit up saying, “Listen up baby cakes. Drink this up and you will be feeling much better in no time.”

Buffy took a whiff of it saying, “Oh God what is that?”

Lorne grinned and said, “Not my recipe I’m afraid but I learned it from the best. I had delivered one just a few minutes ago to someone who was in dire need as well. You scotch drinkers need to slow down.”

He mouthed the word ‘Spike’ to Harmony who nodded and watched Buffy drink the milkshake like concoction.

Buffy finished it handing it back to Lorne wiping her mouth on the back of her hand saying, “That stuff works fast.”

She took a bit of bagel and ate a few more bites. Lorne smiled seeing she was eating something and said, “Anytime ducks.”

Buffy looked at Lorne with a longing and Lorne realized he had used the same nickname Spike sometimes uses. At that moment Lorne made a decision. He would give the lovebirds another day to accidentally meet before he intervened.

He patted Buffy knee and gave Harmony a smile taking the glass with him as he said, “See you tonight sweetie pie” before waving as the elevator closed.

Harmony looked at Buffy saying, “What are your plans today?”

Buffy shrugged saying, “I’m supposed to help Wesley with something.”

Harmony smiled saying, “probably with the urn he got last night. He seemed really excited about it this morning.”

Buffy looked curious, “An urn he got last night?” Harmony nodded hoping Buffy didn’t ask where he got it but she didn’t.

She instead finished off her orange juice and stood up saying, “Ok how do I get to Wesley’s office.”

Harmony frowned at her and Buffy said, “What?”

Harmony answered, “you aren’t a vamp so surely you can see your reflection. You look like Hell.”

Buffy frowned and looked in the mirror and agreed, “Give me a few seconds.” She went into the bathroom washing her face and brushed her teeth. She came back out and put on some powder and foundation and a bit of rouge. She put some vanilla lotion on her hands and dabbed strawberry lip gloss on and said, “How’s that?”

Harmony smiled and said, “Much better. Here my card will take us right there.”

Buffy stepped in watching Harmony punch in 7 and asked, “Who are the other numbers you have programmed?”

Harmony answered, “1 is my desk, 2 is Angel’s, 3 is Lorne’s club, 4 is Fred’s lab, 5 is Gunn’s Law offices, 6 is hmm I’m not sure what 6 is.” She knew what 6 was. It was Spike’s apartment but she couldn’t tell Buffy that so she continued, “7 is Wesley, 8 is yours and 9 is the garage and 10 is my apartment. Some others you don’t know are 11-15.”

Buffy nodded saying, “How do you remember that?”

Harmony shrugged saying, “not much else to remember around here. I type, take calls, deliver messages, greet and meet and that’s about it. Life of a secretary is pretty boring.”

Buffy nodded remembering typing for Gunn the day before. Buffy grinned saying, “better than working at Double Meat Palace in Sunnydale.”

Harmony gasped saying, “You worked there? That sucks.”

Buffy nodded her head in agreement as the door opened finally. She stepped out thanking Harmony.

Wesley grinned at Buffy saying, “Good. Excellent timing. I need you to look through these books to look for information on the urn while I continue to work with the journals.”

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike woke up with a pounding headache. He punched 3 on his intercom and heard Lorne’s cheery voice saying, “One concoction coming right up shortcake.”

Spike muttered, “Thanks” as he rolled over pulling the sheet over his head.

A few minutes later Lorne barged through the door holding up a glass and pulled sheet down enough to see Spike’s face saying, “Ok Champ, sit up and down this stuff so you can feel better already.”

Spike drank it up noticing Lorne had another in his hand, “Who’s that for?”

Lorne shrugged saying, “A girl who got drunk last night. Is this stuff ok for humans?”

Spike shrugged saying, “Pretty strong but I guess so. You sharing my recipe?”

Lorne shook his head dying to start trouble by saying with your dream girl but instead said, “Nah this is an exception. Poor girl was upset about someone who died and needed some comfort and chose scotch and is now paying for it in the morning.”

Spike’s first thoughts were of Buffy he shook it off saying, “Best of luck to her.”

Lorne nodded and took the glass saying, “See you tonight?”

Spike shrugged saying, “I got a mission in L.A. not sure how long it will last. I’ll come by and see you next I’m here though.”

Lorne grinned saying, “You can grace us with another song. My public love you.”

Spike grinned and waited for Lorne to leave to get dressed. He then swiped his card and pushed in 13 to go to Angel’s place. He had put it as the number 13 because not only was it unlucky, it also looked like an ass sideways and that’s what he thought wanker’s face looked like.

He sighed as she stepped out of the elevator saying, “What do you want me to do exactly?”

Angel jumped up at Spike’s voice thankful Buffy was busy saying, “East side of L.A., there’s a demon contact. He has some information I need only problem is he’s on the run and I don’t know where he went. His name is Leopard. He’s a vampire but day is pretty cloudy and really rainy so I’m sure you both can wander around fairly easy enough. I’d check with Lurch first at 119 Maple Hill Street and work from there. Good luck.”

Spike looked at him saying, “Um poof, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Angel’s eyes got wide and said, “What?”

Spike said, “First car keys, second what information?”

Angel sighed getting some keys from the desk. He had been hiding them so Spike couldn’t use the car but he just wanted him gone so the keys were the least of his worries, “I want to know where the vampires took Candy. She’s a client of ours and is supposedly getting pregnant or is pregnant or something about pregnant and she’s missing and the higher ups think Leopard either took her or knows where she’s hiding. We need her at Wolfram and Hart to discuss the options for her baby.”

Spike shrugged saying, “Sounds like a piece of cake. I’ll be back soon.”

He twirled around leaving his jacket to trail behind him as he punched 4 to get to the garage. The sooner he finished this mission, the sooner he does the Africa one and the sooner he can really think about seeing about information on Buffy.

---

Chapter 14: Mission Two

---

Buffy sat dutifully and looked through the books Wesley had placed before her. She didn’t find the urn yet but these books held fascinating pictures and they were so vivid. She could see why Wesley enjoyed this part of his job. She wanted action but could handle this for a bit.

She flipped through happily and heard Wesley say, “Want something to drink Buffy? I’m famished and I imagine you are too. I could order us lunch if you want.”

Buffy knew he was trying so she said, “How about some buffalo wings and a diet coke?”

Wesley smiled knowing this was the first time Buffy had ordered lunch since she had arrived. He put in the order ordering one for himself as well and ordered two chocolate chip cookies to tempt her. He watched her as she sat looking at books and decided that when lunch arrived and they were eating he would approach the topic of Spike. He went back for now and scanned another page of the watcher journal.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike drank his hot mug of blood and nibbled on the buffalo wings he had ordered before he left. He couldn’t resist those and remembered him and Buffy munching on them from his place and hers. She could sure eat as many as him easily and never gained a pound. He chuckled remembering the time she had eaten his plate and hers and still was hungry. Granted there weren’t many per plate but still. It was his fault for offering to pay.

He wiped his hands on the wet cloth Lorne had provided and smiled after heard already from Lurch that Leopard was on the west side of town at a risky club full of vampires who enjoyed kinky sex. He wasn’t really looking forward to entering that place but if he could just finish this mission he’d be thrilled.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy sat across from Wesley and nibbled on a buffalo wing. She tasted it enjoying the spicy flavor and said, “Who made these?”

Wesley grinned saying, “Lorne. He said he knew just how to make them. Are they to your liking?”

Buffy nodded and said, “reminds me of homemade ones that were once made for me.”

Wesley noticed the far away look in her eyes and figured it was now or never, “So Buffy how exactly did Spike die?”

Buffy frowned but took another bite of her buffalo wings saying, “Well Angel bought me a necklace for him to wear. I gave it to Spike because he was my champion with a soul. L.A.’s champion is Angel, my champion was Spike.”

Wesley nodded saying, “So he wore the amulet.”

Buffy nodded and swallowed another bit before saying, “And he kept saying he felt nothing. Then I was fighting and I got hurt and as I got up, I killed a few vamps and I heard Spike say my name. I turned around and he was glowing. He told me he could feel it. I asked him what and he replied his soul and that it was burning. I’m guessing now the fire from the amulet was burning but we didn’t know that at the time.”

Wesley whispered softly, “What happened then?”

Buffy frowned and rubbed her hand where the scar was and Wesley noticed saying, “Did you get the scar that day?”

Buffy nodded saying, “I grasped his hand and when I did, it burned me. If he was alive I imagine he’d have the same burn mark.”

Wesley replied before thinking, “He does…”

He noticed Buffy looking at him strangely and said, “Well looking at it, it matches where you would hold someone’s hand and he would have to have the same one.”

Buffy nodded and sighed.

Wesley decided to go in for the kill needing to know if Fred was right in being so upset at Angel’s behavior, “Did you love Spike?”

Buffy nodded whispering, “Still do.”

Wesley sighed and didn’t like the answer. He was hoping she would say did but not the still do. This complicated things and he knew how love felt. He loved Fred and couldn’t have her as more than a friend. He patted her hand saying, “It’ll get better.”

Buffy nodded saying, “I hope so. Doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better.”

Wesley nodded and still repeated, “It will get better.” He knew what he had to do but wasn’t sure how to pull it off. It would be tricky getting it to look natural. Perhaps it would all unfold by itself.

Buffy pushed her plate away only having eaten about 6 mini buffalo wings but it was the first time in months that she had eaten lunch. She took the wipes Lorne had provided and wiped her hands saying, “Can I keep these to munch on once in a while, I’ll be sure to keep my hands clean. I just want to get some more work done.”

Wesley nodded placing a few wipes in front of her and said, “Yea just keep the books clean but that’s fine.”

Buffy sat back in her chair comparing the pictures again with the urn determined to find the answer.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike growled and kicked the asses of 3 vampires before dusting them. He was pounded in his stomach and had a bruise on his arm. He still had 5 more vampires to deal with who were quickly making haste in his direction.

He took a deep breath that he didn’t need and spun kicked the first vampire who arrived knocking him into the wall. He dodged a punch but groaned as another landed making him fly back into the wall. He rolled over ignoring the pain in his head and back as he swung his leg under the vampire, who jumped and threw a punch at Spike’s head. He hit his eye reopening the cut from two nights ago and Spike growled and punched the vampire against the wall.

He climbed the wall to take ahead of a hanging light and swung at the vampires knocking 3 in a row on the floor before jumping over them and landed on the table. He jumped down off the table and broke a chair leg off and threw it staking one of the vampires who were struggling to get up.

Spike counted down thinking only four were left now. He broken another leg off and jumped onto a vampire knocking him to the ground whispering 3 left as one picked him up and threw him into the table breaking it. He sighed in relief that no splinters pierced his heart and stood up again to fit the remaining three vampires.

He kicked one and managed to dodge the second’s punch but the third landed a kick into his stomach again. He groaned regretting eating the buffalo wings and jumped on the back of one of the vampires twisting it’s head off thinking two left. He turned to the last two.

He threw a stake hitting one leaving him down to one, who happened to be the leader. Spike stood in front of him saying, “Where’s the girl?”

The vampire shrugged saying, “Safely tucked in for the night, she’s safe here.”

Spike glared at him saying, “Safe from what? Your friends? I’d say so since I dusted them? She surely isn’t safe from you since you’re alive.”

The leader replied, “You don’t know who you are dealing with.”

Spike smirked saying, “Enlighten me then. My name’s Spike or William the Bloody. I’ve saved the world a few times, died a few times, dusted once, but I’m still alive and kicking. So what’s your great rep like?”

The vampire replied, “Name is Hinz. I’ve been alive probably longer than you and probably done more than you have.”

Spike grinned saying, “Nah, no way. I’ve killed two slayers and banged one. Can you say you did that?”

The vampire looked impressed saying, “No but then again I don’t think I’d bang a human. Vampires are more my taste.”

Spike shrugged saying, “Your lost. She was one hot girl. Ruined me for any other being.”

The leader shrugged saying, “I’ll have to see about that myself then after I take you out. So where’s your little misses?”

Spike growled feeling angry someone who dare to touch Buffy and said, “You’ll never find her.”

He threw a kick at the vampire who jumped back and Spike threw a few punches, which he missed. Spike spun around and side kicked the vampire throwing him against the wall. Spike jumped over the table to punch the vampire again and again against the wall and then picked him up and threw him into the table. He landed on a leg and dusted.

Spike sighed and wiped his hand on his pants saying, “That fight was pathetic. Wonder where this Candy is.” He wandered into the back rooms to see if he could find her.

---

Chapter 15: Mission Complete

---

Buffy jumped up saying, “I’ve found it. I think I really found it Wes.”

Wesley came over to where Buffy was standing and sure enough there sat the picture of the exact urn.

He smiled at Buffy patting her on the shoulder saying, “Thank you. That will save me tons of trouble. It’s early do you want to do something else?”

Buffy shrugged saying, “What I’d really like to do is train somewhere. Is there any place I can work off energy. All this reading and sitting and singing is nice and all but god I could use some training.”

Wesley nodded saying, “Push 2, and ask Angel if you can use his room or if not if he will grant you access to the bigger room downstairs. It’s well used so hopefully he’ll let you use his.”

Buffy pressed 2 and heard Angel say, “What do you want Wes?”

Buffy quietly responded, “It’s me. Can I use your training room? I really need to work off some energy. I completed what Wes needed but now I need to kick some ass.”

Angel smiled thinking that sounded nice and said, “Sure I’ll join you. I could use a break.”

Buffy turned to Wesley saying, “Thanks. Hopefully I helped. See you at Lorne’s tonight?”

Wesley nodded saying, “Sure thing. Enjoy your work out.”

Buffy sighed hitting 3 and wished Angel wasn’t joining her.

She stepped out of the elevator and saw Angel standing in front of her in just pants no shirt. She remembered how that used to turn her on so much but now it was just normal.

She grinned saying, “Want to spar?”

Angel repeated, “Spar?”

Buffy nodded saying, “Spar. You know, I kick your ass, you kick mine. Lots of fun.”

Angel blinked saying, “You’ve sparred with someone? I didn’t think Giles had that in him.”

Buffy looked embarrassed saying, “No Giles didn’t have them in him….”

Angel figured she was talking about Spike and was anxious to show her anything Spike could do, he could too. Part of him was curious how Spike had gotten to spar with her when he had a chip in his head but shrugged it off as not important.

He stood saying, “Ok Buffy you start.”

Buffy kicked Angel and he blocked it and she kicked him again and he blocked it again. She wasn’t feeling the rush she normally did with Spike but figured she’d give it time. She threw a few punches and he dodged them easily.

She grinned seeing she could really go out on him. She jumped and kicked him into the stomach making contact, he groaned but easily threw a punch in her direction which she blocked thinking he was a bit stronger than Spike. She threw a punch at him and he threw one as well hitting her in the shoulder.

She smirked realizing these were all new moves to her but weren’t that great. She could work with this. She kicked in his direction making contact with his stomach, she blocked the kick he threw back and she flipped behind him kicking him in the back.

She then flipped over him again and landed a kick in his chest. She was so thankful Spike had worked with her on that move. She round kicked him and he blocked it and she threw a punch at him and again he blocked it. She flipped to the side and threw a punch into his side causing him to knock over.

She kicked his leg causing him to kneel and then punched his head and it hit landed. She was shocked. She threw a kick at his chest and again it landed.

She heard Angel said, “Hold on. I need a minute.” She stepped back and noticed Angel was looking at her in shock.

He said, “Is this how you normally sparred before?”

Buffy nodded but knew she had been holding back with Angel. He wasn’t a passionate fighter. He was cold and calculated. That’s how he was losing. He wasn’t giving his all to the fight.

She sighed and went over to a punching bag and started really nailing it. She threw punch after punch, kick after kick and really gave the bag a great work out.

Angel watched her fight and thought her fighting was more passionate, more full of emotion. Angel sighed knowing where she learned that. Her moves were also more flashy and used more effort than required and again a Spike trait but she had some of herself in there too.

She was graceful and light on her feet. She bounced on her heels before planting a move and continued until she had enough. She then did some flips over the mat landing on her feet. She ran up to the pommel horse and did a hand stand holding herself in the air before splitting her legs in the air and bouncing back to land on her feet.

She noticed Angel was watching her but really couldn’t care as she went back over the punching bag and started wailing it like no tomorrow. Sweat poured down her face and back but she just wanted release.

Angel heard his phone ring and left her alone as eh continued to hit it over and over again. Her hands started to bleed and she didn’t care. She finally stopped and run out of the room in tears.

She ran past Angel never stopped and swiped her card hitting 1 quickly and started to cry the second the elevator door closed.

She opened the door to her room and flung herself onto the bed and cried. She missed Spike so much and wasn’t sure how she was going to make it in this world without him. She felt dead inside. She looked at her bleeding hands and sighed noticing she was turning her sheets dark red.

She got up and went over to the sink and ran them under cold water enjoying the sting she felt as they were washed clean. As she washed them clean and closed her eyes she could also hear Spike saying, “You hurt your hands.”

She looked at his hands noticed that they were banged up too as was his body and she said, “You’re hurt worse.”

He nodded and she opened her eyes to see her knuckles were a mess but the bleeding had at least stopped.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike shook the sleeping girl awake. Candy had been chained to a bed and was definitely pregnant.

He had unchained her before waking her up hoping her pregnant state would make it so that she didn’t take off running as soon as she would woke.

She woke up disorientated saying, “Who are you and are you here to take my baby away too?”

Spike shook his head saying, “Angel wants to see you. He works with a law firm. Not sure what he wants with you but he sent me to rescue you and bring you to him.”

Candy shrugged saying, “Well let’s go. Anything is better than this Hell hole.”

Spike opened the door as she walked through and he led her to his car. She commented, “Nice set of wheels.”

Spike smirked but said nothing and instead started the car to gun it out of there and head back to headquarters to get this mission finished.

He closed his eyes for a minute while driving and got the image of Buffy’s hands all banged up. He whispered, “You hurt your hands.” He could also feel Buffy looking him over whispering, “You’re hurt worse.”

He could only nod and reopened his eyes to continue the drive back. He looked at his banged up hands and sighed. Those were the least of his worries.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy jumped into the shower and washed her body off and washed the tears away. She hopped out and picked out one of the outfits she had brought with her, a red and black checkered skirt with a red tank top and a black jean jacket. She put makeup on but noticed since she ate, her skin was a more healthier color but she was still so pale and sickly looking. She sighed and pulled her hair up in a red ribbon and figured she looked fine.

She was only going to sing again to make people happy. She swiped her card and hit 3 to meet Angel.

She stepped out of the elevator to see Angel standing there.

He said, “Shall we go?”

Buffy nodded and pretend to smile as she took his hand and went into the elevator. He swiped his card and hit 7 and turned towards Buffy saying, “So how was your day with Wesley?”

He noticed her hurt knuckles but decided not to say anything.

She shrugged saying, “I found the urn. It was some Italian thing. He seemed excited about it when I left. Thanks for letting me use the gym today it felt good to really just let loose and train.”

Angel nodded and said, “Well you are welcomed to stay here as long as you want. I’ll even make you your own department for you to work in if you wanted.”

Buffy decided not to say anything and just followed Angel into the club.

---

Chapter 16: A Song Well Sung

---

Buffy sat at the table drinking her juice as Lorne said, “Ready to sing cupcake?”

Buffy nodded knowing just what she would sing tonight. She would in her head dedicate it to Spike. To her it would always be their song for the wedding that never took place. She took the microphone in hand and started to sing.

Wind Beneath My Wings By Bette Midler

It must have been cold there in my shadow/To never have sunlight on your face/You were content to let me shine, that’s your way/You always walked a step behind/So I was the one with all the glory/While you were the one with all the strain/A beautiful face without a name for so long/A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Angel got a call and answered it without thinking.

He heard Spike yell into the phone, “You are the club? Err…”

The phone got completely silent and then he heard, “Bloody Hell. That’s Buffy!”

The phone went dead and Angel looked around in a panic. Buffy was in the middle of her song. He only hoped he had time to get her away before Spike appeared.

Wind Beneath my Wings By Beet Midler

Did I ever tell you that you’re my hero/And everything I wish I could be?/I can fly higher than an eagle/For you are the wind beneath my wings/It might have appeared to go unnoticed/But I’ve got it all here in my heart/I want you to know I know the truth/Of course I know it/I would be nothing without you./Did I ever tell you that you’re my hero/And everything I wish I could be/I can fly higher than an eagle/For you are the wind beneath my wings/Did I ever tell you that you’re my hero/And everything I wish I could be/I can fly higher than an eagle/For you are the wind beneath my wings/Oh, the wind beneath my wings/You, you, you, you are the wings beneath my wings/Fly, fly, fly away, you let me fly so high/Oh you, you, you you, the wind beneath my wings/Oh you, you, you, you the wind beneath my wings/ Fly, fly, fly high against the sky/So high I almost touch the sky/Thank you, thank you/Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

Angel was bouncing by the time the song ended and grabbing Buffy’s hand saying, “I have something I want to show you.”

Buffy followed him looking unsure saying, “Right now? I was thinking of doing another song tonight since I still have that rush from the training room.”

Angel pulled on her arm slightly saying, “Yea right now. Come on. It’s a skylight to see the stars and I heard it will be cloudy later so it has to be now.”

Buffy shrugged and followed along as he swiped his card hitting 4 numbers so fast she couldn’t make them out. She stepped out and onto the roof. She gasped at the beauty of it saying, “This is amazing. Look at so many stars.”

She looked and felt so close to heaven it wasn’t funny. She twirled around on the roof for a moment feeling free as she laid down on her back to look up at the stars. Angel watched her thinking she reminded him of Dru at that moment and smiled and laid down next to her thinking it was a good night to make his move with Spike looking for her. He couldn’t believe his stupidity in picking up the phone.

He sighed and tried to hold her hand. Buffy didn’t seem interested and blatantly ignored his advances starting at the stars and pretending to point out a planet saying, “Is that Venus?”

Angel sighed and replied, “I think so. There’s a chart around the office somewhere. Fred might know where it is. We can ask her tomorrow.”

Buffy nodded and said, “This is beautiful but I’m tired. Can I head back to my room now? Perhaps I’ll come up here tomorrow if you’d show me the way. Tomorrow should be clear too I think.”

Angel was nervous because his phone was ringing off the hook but figured Spike wouldn’t be able to find her in her room so that seemed like a good plan. He said sure, “Let’s use my card so I can take you straight there.”

Buffy nodded and stepped into the elevator. Angel made sure to use the overwrite button so no one could stop them on the way down as he took her to her room where she would be safe from prying eyes.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Spike stormed into the club smelling the scent of vanilla and strawberries and not even bothering to try to explain the scent away. He walked over to the table where the gang was sitting and picked up a glass of fruit punch and licked the rim tasting strawberry lip-gloss.

Everyone was staring at him as he said, “Ok where did the jerk rod take her. All week I have smelled her and no one bothered to tell me she was here? What kind of friends are you people?”

Everyone looked really guilty realizing they had really messed up. Spike continued as he threw the glass against the wall, “Where did he take her?”

Fred spoke up gently, “We don’t know. She was singing and finished and he pulled her out of here saying he had something to show her.”

Spike growled feeling extremely pissed off saying, “Where is she staying?”

Everyone looked around as though they didn’t know. He repeated, “Where is she staying???”

Lorne didn’t say a word but walked over the elevator and swiped his card pushing 13 and stepped back out as the door closed.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Angel followed Buffy into the room saying, “You going to head up to sleep?”

Buffy nodded hoping he left and she wasn’t disappointed. He said, “I’ll get Harmony to bring you breakfast again and I’m thinking we can go out somewhere together. Like an opera. That sound ok?”

Buffy nodded hoping to get rid of him. She just wanted to lay on her bed and think of Spike. She was feeling him so close it wasn’t funny.

Angel nodded saying, “See you tomorrow.” He stepped into the elevator he had overwritten making it so that it couldn’t be used and headed up to his room thinking it would just be overwritten all night.

Buffy stripped out of her clothes looking in the mirror and sighed. She felt lousy and empty and alone and so sad.

She crawled into her bed pulling a silk shirt on her like the ones she used to wear when she was at Spike’s. She closed her eyes trying to imagine him with her and couldn’t. She rubbed her scar on her head thinking of him and sighed.

---

Chapter 17: A Reunion

---

Spike stopped in a hallway. He looked around thinking Lorne had just lead him on a wild goose chase he couldn’t get out due his card wasn’t programmed for this level. He took a deep breath and took off running. He could smell Buffy scent and it was so close. She was somewhere on this floor. He could smell her so strong. He didn’t even think twice as he raced in the direction of the scent.

---

@}-’--, --’--, --’--, -{@

---

Buffy sat up in bed. She could sense Spike. The tingles on her back of her head were going crazy. She could feel him before he arrived and she knew those tingles anywhere.

She stood up ignoring the fact she was only dressed in a short black shirt and flung open her door looking down the hallway. She gasped!

She could see Spike and he was alive! She ran down the hallway and flung herself into his arms hoping to God she wasn’t dreaming.

She felt him smother her with kisses and closed her eyes enjoying the feel of him holding her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt his hands as always hold her up under her bottom as he walked her back still smothering her with kisses into her room.

He paused at the door and she whispered, “Spike, come on in.”

Spike beamed at her and she dropped to her feet saying, “Um Spike, you ass hole, you’re alive!”

She punched him in the nose and he held his nose and moaned in pain. He didn’t answer her and she collapsed on the floor sobbing. All the pain and suffering she had gone through and he was alive. She couldn’t stop crying as Spike ignored his bleeding nose to pick her up and take her over to her bed and lay her down.

He didn’t even stop to think about anything and just wrapped his arms around her pulling her in close. She just sobbed and sobbed.

He held her close rocking her as tears fell from his eyes too. He was holding his precious Buffy. His precious Buffy was allowing him to hold her. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath of her scent and tried to memorize it as she sobbed and he silently cried.

She finally sniffled unable to cry anymore and noticed her hair was wet. She lifted her head to look at him who was crying. She reached up and wiped the tears away saying, “You stupid vampire, you died and left me and you’re crying? I was the one who was left. Why didn’t you contact me? I missed you and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Spike shrugged saying, “I was dead to you. Always have been. Angel said you deserved…”

Buffy groaned and stood up jumping off the bed saying, “If you want to be like Angel and make my choices for me, you can just leave now. Walk away and never look back and I’ll mourn you as though you died. I’m so sick and tired of everyone thinking of what to do for Buffy. Buffy’s messed up, something is wrong with Buffy. Let’s send her to L.A. to make Angel fix her, that doesn’t work, make her work and do something things she hates as though working at the freaking Double Meat Palace wasn’t bad enough for a job. God I’m so tired of everyone telling me what to do, what to feel, what not to feel and I can’t take it Spike if you do it too. You were my rock, my strength and the only person who accepted me for who I was and not what you imagined me to be. So do you want to leave Spike?”

Tears were pouring down her face as she swung open the door offering him a chance to leave. He didn’t answer her so she punched her hand into the wall and pulled her hand out watching the blood pour down it. She welcomed the blood and pain as a way of release.

The smell of Buffy’s blood snapped Spike out of his world and he jumped up and ran over to Buffy, slamming the door shut and pulled her over to the sink washing her hand clean. He looked at the other hand and said, “What did you do to yourself? You know I saw this…and this….”

He paused pointing to the healing cut above her eye. He saw her looking at him and she lifted his shirt to see the same bruise she had seen in her imagination earlier and she gasped, “How come I knew that was there?”

Spike shrugged and didn’t want to think about it anymore. He cleaned her hands and placed a gentle kiss on both as he did the first time he had cleaned her wounds after she had died and watched her walk over to the bed saying, “I’ll make a deal with you. If you promise to never leave me again and if you do have to die for the good fight to contact me when you return because you will return, then you can stay the night.”

Spike smirked saying, “Deal.”

Buffy flung herself at Spike and pulled his shirt off so she could feel his skin against her hands. She moaned feeling so long since she had been intimate with anyone. She had missed Spike and missed his touch. She had missed the feelings he opened in her and the way he loved her even when she had been unsure of her feelings. She knew what she wanted and it was him.

Spike had been with Harmony once but he didn’t count that since he had no feelings whatsoever for her. Buffy was always so warm and responsive. He removed her shirt and smiled at the fact she only was wearing a black lacy bra underneath. She reached behind herself and undid the clasp just as the elevator dinged.

She jumped behind Spike who carefully blocked her view as Angel stepped into the room saying, “Spike get out. You decided not to contact Buffy. My God, you jumped her already? Don’t you have any shame? Buffy get behind me and I’ll throw that guy out.”

He turned around saying, “Spike you left Buffy alone for a reason.”

Spike turned around pulling Buffy’s shirt over her head and then turned around and jumped up swinging Angel around as he vamped out in anger saying , “Yea you told me to. That’s my reason. You said she didn’t want me. She was over me and deserved better. She deserved a real life. I only wanted two things in this world, Buffy and to fight the good fight. Since you said I couldn’t have Buffy, I decided to fight the good fight here. Obviously Buffy wants me. She was already half naked for me so you can just bugger off you wanker and let us live our lives. I had a funny feeling Buffy was arriving the day you sent me to Wisconsin but I thought no Angel wouldn’t be so petty.”

He turned to Buffy unvamping saying, “You arrived on Wednesday?”

She nodded and he turned around and punched Angel saying, “YOU SENT ME ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE SO YOU COULD CONVINCE BUFFY SHE WANTS YOU. So tell me big guy, did it work? Did Buffy fall head over heels for you again? Did she want to be with you? Did she say she was willing to stay without sex? Did she?”

Angel didn’t say anything and Buffy said, “No I didn’t. I only came here because my friends insisted and I can’t believe you sent him away. You kept him from me on purpose. It’s one thing to not tell me he was around but to send him away on a wild goose chase just to keep him away. That’s unforgivable!”

Her hands clinched into tight fists and she knew if she saw his face for another moment she was about to really do something she’d regret so she said, “Angel I think it’s best if you leave. This is where you live and stay. I can leave if you want but right now I need to cool off and burn off some energy and I wish to be alone to do that.”

Spike turned and nodded opening the door to leave as she said, “I can be alone with you here Spike.”

Spike smirked recognizing the words so well. Angel turned to her and said, “What does that mean?”

Buffy shrugged but answered anyway, “It means he’s a part of me and belongs with me therefore I’m still alone when he’s here.”

Angel frowned and said, “But you were cookie dough Buffy. You said you thought about the future sometimes with me.”

Buffy shook her head sadly saying, “No I said I thought about the future sometimes and I do. Just I’m sorry not with you. You were my hero, my childhood love. You have a part of me that no one else can touch but there’s whole big heart left you can’t have. Spike is in it. I once told someone I loved you more than I’ll ever love anyone in this world and I meant that but what I didn’t realize is that your first love is strong but it’s not always eternal.”

Spike blinked and Buffy continued, “You were first and I loved you completely. You could do no wrong but then you turned evil. I’m not blaming you but it ripped a part of me out of myself that no one had been able to touch until Spike. I never loved Riley and actually wasn’t capable of it. Spike healed me. The last few days we were together….I experienced something new. It was powerful, amazing and completed me. It finished me off. It gave me the missing piece. Spike went all the way to Africa to find his soul, which was his missing piece and therefore was able to give me the piece I was missing which was true heartfelt love. It took me years to determine what love was. It’s when you don’t know where you begin and the other ends. It’s where you close your eyes and still feel them near. It’s not about fear to be alone or being used to them being around. Hell it’s not even about thinking about them all the time. It’s about knowing when you’re complete and knowing who brings the best out of you. It’s definitely wild, passionate…”

She turned looking at Spike knowing he’d remember telling her that, “But it’s also strength building, motivating and comforting. I’m grown up and I’m a part of Spike as he is with me. I chose him and I hope he chooses me. I’m sorry Angel. I hope you someday realize who you are meant to be with but do me a favor and stay out of my life unless you can accept that I’ve moved on to bigger and better things.”

She turned towards Spike getting lost in his eyes and giggled as she took his hand in hers and smiled at the matching scars. Angel blinked saying, “I never noticed those before.”

Buffy shrugged saying, “Not sure you would have. I think they mean something. Fred was awfully interested in them. Personally I like the way it burns.” Spike smiled at her ignoring Angel’s presence.

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Chapter 18: The Rest of Their Lives

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Spike whispered, “I’m sorry that I didn’t come get you luv. I was a ghost at first you know. I tried to go get you but I didn’t. I failed and I’m sorry.”

Buffy whispered softly, “You didn’t fail. You’re here now and alive and you saved me as I asked.”

Spike leaned over noticing Angel had slipped out at some point. He pulled his shirt over his head and then pulled hers. He grinned leaning down to take a nipple into his mouth and teasing it as she whispered, “Oh my god I missed you.”

Spike laughed saying, “You only missed my mouth?”

Buffy shook her head saying, “No I missed your mouth, I missed your erection, I miss your touch, your lips, your words, god I just missed all of you.”

Spike smirked and used both hands on her breasts whispering against her ear, “Good answer luv.” He took the earlobe near his mouth and sucked on it and heard Buffy moan and move her hands down his back to touch every inch of skin.

She reached around the front undoing his pants buckle and zipper and moaned as he kissed down her neck to suck on her pressure point. He smiled realizing how much she really trusted him, as he closed his eyes feeling the pressure of her blood fill his mind for a minute before he kissed down her shoulders.

Buffy’s hands weren’t idled and had reached into his pants to caress him. His hips were moving with her hand as he groaned against her skin.

He released her breasts and stood up to remove his pants kicking off his socks and shoes and smiled as Buffy lie back on the bed making room for him. He needed to taste her first. It had been too long. He gently spread her legs as she spread them further and he took a deep breath close to her junction and enjoyed the scent of her.

He groaned saying, “Oh Buffy luv, it has been too long. Let me taste you please? You never let me before unless it was on my fingers but I so much want to taste you.”

Buffy nodded and spread her legs a little further as he moved his mouth against her sucking her clit into his mouth. She arched her hips and felt them almost come completely off the bed as he moved one of hands to rest on her stomach keeping her down on the bed.

He released her clit to swirl his tongue around her causing her to moan out loudly and reach back to grasp the headboard tightly. He used his free hand to trace up her lips watching as the opened for him and he slid a cool finger into her warm entrance and filled her. She moaned whispering, “Ooh Spike.”

He loved the way his name was like a whisper off her lips and he started to move his finger in and out adding a second to join. He was determined to bring her off with his mouth since he had never been allowed to do that before. Buffy had never been big on foreplay and had always wanted things to start right away but this time, he was going to make it special.

He used his two fingers to pump in and out of her and sucked and tasted her clit driving her crazy. Her knuckles were white from holding on so hard and her hips were moving and pushing against Spike’s hand. She was thankful Spike was stronger than she was.

She felt her release coming close and shuddered and moaned out in protest. Normally it came fast and hard and she had no time for it to build up but this time it was different. She clasp her legs together in pleasure and he moved his elbows to keep her open as he continued to plunge in and out of her opening and lick up the juices while teasing her clit. He plunged deeply holding his fingers inside of her and she lost it.

She moaned out a loud, “SPIKE! YES!” as she thrashed on the bed like crazy. He left his fingers pumping in her as he released her clit looking up and watched her get off. She was amazing when she reached her release. This release was even more amazing because it was pure and love filled. It wasn’t cause by pain or torture or demand. It was given by love.

He moved up and over her sucking on her breasts and nibbling at the nipples as she whispered, “Please Spike I need you in me.”

She wasn’t big on the begging so he listened. He removed his fingers licking them clean and enjoying the flavor as he positioned himself at the entrance.

He whispered, “You sure Buffy?”

She nodded frantically and he said, “Invite me in luv.”

She whispered, “Come in Spike. You are part of me, fill me.”

He listened and pushed into her feeling her muscles move to accommodate. He rocked out of her and back in filling her to the brim with him.

She moaned whispering, “I missed this feeling so much.”

Spike began to move in her saying next to her ear, “Promise me it wont be like before. Promise me it will be real and true and a relationship.”

Buffy nodded whispering, “We will have a relationship, I promise.” He felt his heart be filled with love for her and he leaned down still pumping in and out of her and kissed her passionately. She kissed him back and he could feel the love pouring off her. He reached down and toyed with her nipples causing her to moan.

She whispered, “Will you bite me taking away Angel and Dracula’s mark please?”

Spike stopped moving and looked own at her saying, “What?”

Buffy whispered, “I want to belong to you, not them. I want us to never be parted. Make me yours?”

Spike still refused to move saying, “You want me to claim you Buffy?”

Buffy nodded and said, “I’ll do it back just please move!”

He listened moving in and out of her and leaned down to take a nipple into his mouth but his mind was racing, Buffy wanted to claim him. Someone wanted him forever. Part of him thought it was wrong but he wanted it so badly. He wanted to belong to Buffy and Buffy to him so he reached down and rubbed her clit determined to make it good for her and leaned down to her pressure point on her neck.

She tilted her head giving him full access and she whispered, “Now” as she felt the pressure building up to the point of release. He placed a gentle kiss on her neck and then carefully slid his fangs into her neck and he took a few pulls of her blood. He closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of Buffy’s Slayer blood run through his system. It was 100 times better than any blood he had ever tasted in his life. She moaned and felt Spike’s hands holding her steady as she shuddered into release. She yelled out Spike’s name turning her neck to bite into him hearing him say, “Mine Buffy Summers, you are my mate.” She replied through her tears, “Yours. I’ve always been yours.”

She then sank her teeth into him and tasting the coppery taste of his blood before saying, “You Spike, William the Bloody, William Pratt, are mine now and forever mine!” Spike answered with tears in his years, “Yours. I’m all yours.” He shuddered out his release sending her over the edge again into an orgasm as they both clung to each other feeling each other’s emotions overpower them.

When Buffy’s orgasm stopped she whispered, “I love you Spike.” Spike looked into her eyes whispering, “I love you too Buffy.”

He rolled over to his side pulling her with him and watched as she snuggled up to him and rested her head against his chest. He whispered, “Isn’t this the best part of sex?”

Buffy chuckled remembering a conversation where he had told her he loved this part of sex better than the action itself. She didn’t buy it but knew that now perhaps he was telling the truth. She nodded saying, “Spike think we can find something to do somewhere? What do you do for a living here?”

Spike laughed saying, “Go on wild goose chases for your ex. Perhaps he can find us something better to do or we can go on missions for someone else.”

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes whispering softly, “I hope so. The whole being stuck in an office left much to be desired. I’d rather be out running around, killing things, searching for lost treasure, or traveling the world. God anything is better than an office job. We can do that together right? You won’t ever leave me, will you?”

Spike shook his head kissing her hair saying, “I’ll never leave you Buffy. You’re mine and I’m yours, now and forever.”

Buffy smiled falling asleep saying, “Good.”

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Chapter 19: Confrontations

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Buffy awoke in Spike’s arms. She laid there a minute and thought about her life up until now bringing her to this point in time. She felt his still body under her head and felt his cool arms wrapped around her pulling her close. She sighed feeling content. She finally had won a battle.

She giggled for a moment remembering Spike breaking the window to her high school. She had seen him once before where he clapped at her performance for killing the vampire who was ‘about to bite someone’ outside of the Bronze. He was hot even back then but he was aiming to kill her. He had promised to see her on Friday when he was supposed to kill her. He instead had broken through the window during parent conferences to kill her earlier than planned. He would have too if her mom wouldn’t have saved the day.

Oh God how things have changed since then. He had helped her save the world quite a few times. He had been there when everyone else had left. He died saving the world for her. She was still hurt he didn’t trust her enough to come back but part of her blamed Angel for that.

Angel had spent years brainwashing Spike into listening and depending on him. Angel used that to his advantage to ensure he would get Buffy back, not Spike.

Buffy gave Spike a gentle kiss and crawled out of bed and started pacing. Angel deliberately tried to ruin her life and Spike’s. He knew their pain, knew what the reason for it was and blatantly ignored their feelings and was selfish.

She thought back on Angel’s actions the whole time seeing them in a whole new light. Angel always came and went as he wanted only saving her when necessary, which was probably what was requested by the powers to be. He didn’t stick around to save her after it got to be too hard on him. He never tried to anchor his soul like Spike did. God how could she have been so blind. She thought of how Angel had killed Jenny, how Angel had run away leaving her to deal with life alone and how he had sent out spies she had seen from time to time to check up on her. She had thought at first it was endearing but now…he didn’t even bother to check on her himself.

She got madder and madder as she paced. Finally she could no longer take it and slammed her fist into the wall breaking the drywall and cutting her hand open yet again.

Spike jumped at the noise and rushed to her side saying, “What the hell are you doing?”

He yanked her by the hand over to the bathroom and pushed her hand over under the water. He watched her blood pour down the sink as he yelled, “What are you thinking? You can’t just go hitting walls all the time.”

Buffy shrugged wanting to do it again so she kicked the wall under the sink saying, “I need to see Angel, can you help?”

Spike nodded she needed this out of her system before she completely destroyed her body. He carefully wrapped up her hand, “I was a ghost and I saw every little tiny space in this law firm. I probably know more than even the higher ups know and I have clearance to the control freak’s place.”

Buffy nodded testing out her hand and said, “Let’s go.”

Spike looked down at their lack of clothing saying, “We might want to get dressed first. He’s already seen more than I care him to see of you.”

Buffy nodded and pulled on a red tank top with a black skirt with red panties. Buffy felt some of her anger drain out of her as she watched the way Spike admired her while she dressed. He then threw on his clothes from the day before and she felt bad saying, “Let’s stop by your place first so you can get clean clothes.”

Spike didn’t argue and swiped his card and entered 2 for his apartment.

Buffy glanced around the room noticing it was neat and tidy and appeared barely lived in. There was a play station on the television with a black leather chair in front of it. There was a refrigerator, which had some blood that he drank as he threw her a strawberry pop tart which she nibbled on. There was a plain white-sheeted bed with a sensible blanket folded at the bottom, neatly made. He quickly stripped walked to a dresser pulling out blank jeans and a black shirt then redressed saying, “We will shower after we get you feeling less angry.”

Buffy nodded as she thought for a moment about never having the chance to meet up with Spike again to remind herself of why she was going Angel. He was yet again treating her as a child when she was a woman. Spike entered the elevator and swiped his card punching a number saying, “This will take us to his office. If he’s not there then I can use the card to get into his bedroom from there.”

Buffy nodded not saying a word. She wanted to be sure to save all her anger for Angel where it belonged. Spike stepped back when the elevator dinged, letting Buffy make her perfect entrance as she always did. Spike knew any entrance he made would be perfect. He was not disappointed as Buffy stomped into the office and crossed her arms. He could almost feel her anger pouring off her as she waited impatiently for him since Angel was on the phone. He was sort of surprised she didn’t hang up on him but he figured she had a plan. Buffy was actually tempted to just let him have it even if he was on the phone but instead sat and unflexed and reflexed her hands into tight little fists dying to use them on something or someone.

Finally after a few minutes he hung up the phone and stared at both parties in his office. Buffy walked up behind his desk to stand in front of him saying, “I have three things to say to you Angel. I’m still pissed so you are lucky you’re only getting 3 things. 1. I haven’t forgiven you, and in fact I’m not even sure I will forgive you. So don’t say you’re sorry, don’t give excuses and above all don’t attempt to justify your actions. I got them loud and clear. You were acting selfishly and trying to control me yet again. This leads to me to number 2. I’m not your child or someone you can control. I never gave you the right to control me. If Giles nor my mother could control me, what makes you think you have the right. I’m SOOOOOO tired of you doing what you think is best for me. I’m 23 years old. I think I can handle figuring out is best for me. So stop it, and stop being so damn selfish! Which brings me to the last and final point, which is 3. I trusted you. Notice it’s past tense. I trusted you with me when I was hurt. I trusted you to have my back, keep me safe and sound and protect me from harm. You first off left me alone in Sunnydale where I proceeded to die, get shot by a gun, almost die again getting stabbed and then become just about suicidal. Where were you when all that happened?”

Angel tried to answer but Buffy could care less about what he had to say so instead finished for him, “I’ll tell you where. You were here in L.A. figuring out ways to keep me from moving on with my life when you’ve obviously moved on with yours. How can I trust someone who acts selfishly?”

Angel started saying, “Spike…”

Buffy said, “OK so you want to talk about Spike. Let’s shall we? He helped me top stop you from ending the world and sending me along with all my friends to Hell. He apologized in his own way about Jenny’s death that oh wait you caused! He protected me from whatever he could, he cared for my mom and protected her, he cared for Dawn while I was away and you were busy doing whatever it was you were doing instead of caring about my life. He has played errand boy for you because he wanted to fight the good fight while you did whatever you do at your little desk in your evil law firm. You play God yet you are far from perfect. So yea I chose Spike. He stuck by me even when I treated him like garbage and he never asked for anything in return. He saved the world and shrugged and went on. He helped me destroy you and all he did was pick up his Ho of a girlfriend and disappeared. He never asks for anything. I imagine if he had come to see me as he planned and if I had gone back to my bitchy self, as long as he could fight the good fight, he would have stayed. You never allowed that to happen. You purposely controlled the situation to make sure you seemed like the hero. You wouldn’t have stayed and I treated you like gold. Plus he loves me and I love him. So Angel, point is, leave us alone. Don’t contact us, don’t even stalk us and above all, don’t think about us.”

Buffy was now right up in his face with her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing a darkness black instead of her usually bright green. Angel noticed something on her neck and took a whiff into the air saying, “YOU CLAIMED HER??”

Buffy’s eyes got big as he yelled at her and Spike and she took a step back and Spike rushed to her side in case Angel did anything rash.

Angel shoved Spike against he wall saying, “I’ll dust you boy for that. She was mine, she had a mark on her from me. You don’t mess with your elder’s claims. You hear me boy? You don’t do that.”

He shoved the door open to his desk really quickly and grabbed a stake and had raised it as Spike dodged out of the way and Buffy whipped Angel around saying, “If you want to invite a stake to play, I can promise you, I can dust you faster than you can dust my mate. So BACK OFF.”

Angel looked shocked as Spike finally spoke up saying, “I tried to fight the good fight with you. I tried to be civil to you and perhaps I failed, perhaps not. I’m not perfect, never claimed to be. I hope Buffy knows I’m not but I love the girl. I’ll take care of her until my dusting day. I trusted you as well and you betrayed my trust. I once told you that you were my Yoda and I meant it but you aren’t anymore. From this moment on until I feel better, I’m not a part of your family. So guess what twinkle toes, you really are alone. Enjoy that. Let’s go Buffy.”

He turned towards Buffy as she looked at Angel with sad eyes but said nothing as both of them left out of Angel’s office leaving him to brood. Spike looked at Buffy saying, “So pet, where do you want to go?”

Buffy smiled and said, “Let’s go find Willow. We have a witch to cheer up.”

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Epilogue: Having A Future

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Buffy climbed into the plane wiggling and tempting Spike who could hardly wait until they got home. They stopped flirting and put on innocent faces as their twins ran over to them, little Phoebe saying, “Mommy, Daddy, did you get what Uncle Angel wanted?”

Buffy nodded and kissed Phoebe and little Will on their heads. Pheobe glanced in the bag saying, “Wow they are pretty. What will Uncle Angel do with them?”

Buffy shrugged saying, “No idea.”

Spike grinned saying, “Perhaps give it to his little wolf.”

Buffy rolled her eyes as she said, “We will get a week off before the next mission if all goes well. Giles needs us in a week to deliver two ex-potentials to Cambodia.”

The two kids cheered and said, “Where we will be staying at daddy?”

Spike grinned saying, “Pick a country.”

They both yelled, “England, let’s see Uncle Giles and Auntie Dawnie!!”

Buffy smiled and said, “I agree. Giles has information on our next mission he needed to give us and I’d like to see how Dawn is doing as well.”

The two children ran back to be watched over by their nanny and Spike pulled out the book he had been reading to Buffy from and patted his lap. She put down the sack of diamonds they had recovered on their latest mission and grinned feeling quite proud of their accomplishments. She settled onto his lap enjoying the warmth of his body and thinking on how different their life making has been now that he is a human slayer like creature.

He was similar to Buffy only he kept some of his extra strength and his heightened senses which came in handy. The claim stayed surprisingly when he got Shanshu.

Giles had assumed they wouldn’t be able to hear each other’s thoughts or feelings and would just be two humans but the powers to be didn’t work that way. They wanted their two immortal slayers to be able to have it all. They could walk in the sunlight, dance in the moonlight, make love wherever and whenever they wanted and travel to the moon and back. They had experienced a partial claim during Spike’s death when they grasped their hands together but since Spike hadn’t repeated the I love you during the claim, it was unreturned and therefore very weak. They were soul mates but weren’t able to use the claim as normal claimed people do. They were bonded through sleep and dreams where their minds were weak and vulnerable. Fred had determined this due to lots of research with Wesley working by her side. Their claim now was the strongest every formed. Nothing could weaken or break it and it was eternal.

After many fights and tears as well as blood being spilt, Buffy and Spike were given jobs by Giles, Willow, Wesley and Angel to keep them busy. Angel left them alone only contacting them with new missions. While he had been forgiven, it had not been completely forgotten nor had trust been reestablished. They were sent out to various places rescuing victims, protecting others, retrieving various artifacts, delivering items and exploring the world.

They fought battles together, saved the world multiple times, and still had time to create a happy and healthy family. It was really the most perfect arrangement for both of them. They loved their job because it included violence, rescuing and resourcefulness, which were exactly what the undefeatable duo needed to keep happy.

Angel had continued on at the law firm with his gang. Angel enjoyed the power that came with running an important law firm and the benefits. He shared the benefits with Buffy and therefore Spike hence why they were living such a good life but they were not actually employed by the company. The benefits had been given to her to say he was sorry. At first Buffy had refused but in time, her anger had died down and after all who is one to kick a gift horse in the mouth when they had two little ones to support. He gave the ‘good fight’ work to Buffy and Spike who ensured it got done therefore keeping Buffy and Spike busy and happy.

Giles and the rest of the Scoobies continued their work with the slayers and protecting the Hell Mouths around the world. They would occasional have jobs for Buffy and Spike. Xander met a girl who was a slayer and was involved with her. Giles spent his time training slayers and therefore feeling much needed.

Willow continued her traveling the world to assist others. She didn’t really feel her place was with the slayers and felt a higher calling due to her magical powers. She visited with Buffy and Spike a lot and played an important Auntie role with the children who simply adored her.

Dawn graduated with high honors from Oxford and is now completing a translator program, which is her career choice. She enjoys visiting Buffy when able and is engaged to be married in a year to a rich business associate who offered to employ her as a translator when she graduates. She is really happy and successful.

Buffy rested her head against his shoulder and smiled as his arm wrapped around her waist to rest on her stomach feeling the slight budge. She smiled bringing her hand to rest over his as he brought down the book to the waist level and continued reading. She sat quietly enjoying the story of Pride and Prejustice that had been chosen because Buffy wanted a happy ending love story. Really their life was perfect and often thought of as a fairy tale.

They had their own personal jet, personal driver, their own houses in ten different countries including a castle in England that Spike wanted. They had two little children with another on the way and wonderful and caring nanny and more love than every imagined.

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The End

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