Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I wish I did, but I don’t.


When You Need Me

Chapter 1

He sat on the edge of the bed, hands gripping the sides of his head as the dull ache pounded there like the battery of a marching band. His stomach felt horrid, his body ached, but nothing compared to the feeling deep inside that told him he’d done something so incredibly stupid that things were never going to be the same again.

He looked over his shoulder to see her. His best friend. His Buffy-shaped, amazing friend who’d been there for him through everything, including his mother’s death when he was seven, his father’s re-marriage when he was nine, and the breakup of that marriage when he was thirteen. She’d even been there for him when his father had to move back to London for his job, and Spike refused to go with one year of high school left. She’d been there when he’d had no place to go and again when he’d needed her help moving his junk into his new apartment at the start of their senior year.

“What the Hell have I done?” he muttered aloud as he got off the bed and turned to see her lying face down on the mattress, sheet strategically placed over her butt, revealing her tanned, toned back with tendrils of golden blonde hair splayed out over it.

She moaned softly and stirred in her sleep, and Spike felt his heart jump into his throat. He looked over to the bedside table, seeing the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s and the four empty beer bottles.

“Bloody Hell.” He turned quickly, finding a pair of his black sweats and a black T-shirt, slipping them on, and quickly making his way out of the bedroom of his small apartment.

He nearly tripped over Buffy’s purse in the hall, but he managed to stagger into the kitchen, start the coffee pot, and sit down at the table to think about what the Hell he was supposed to do next.

He’d slept with her. The object of his wet dreams for the past five years. He’d always dreamed about what it could be like. What it could feel like. He’d had sex before, sure. But with Buffy…God, he’d never imagined. He’d never thought it could happen. They were best friends. She’d always looked at him as only that, hadn’t she? But last night, the friendship train derailed and crashed into some alternate dimension with lots of booze and a lot…a lot of kissing.

He’d never forget the look on her face when she’d shown up at his doorstep. Her mascara was smudged, her nose and eyes were red from crying, and her lower lip trembled. The moment he’d asked her what was wrong, she’d broken down in his arms, and they’d spent the evening talking, eating pizza, and somehow that had turned into the consumption of way too much alcohol, which was the current reason for the pounding in his head at present.

He’d thought about how it could happen. Just about every porno-type scenario had popped into his head at some point since the first moment he started to notice Buffy as something other than his best friend that just so happened to have boobs and a pretty face. No. It was one of their many movie-and-pizza nights. She’d come down the stairs in her dainty pink tank top and matching pajama shorts, the room had been a little chilly, and her small but perky breasts were suddenly the object of his attention when her nipples poked against the fabric of her shirt.

Of course, they’d been thirteen, and he’d been way too much of a wuss to even think about asking her out. And despite his raging attraction toward her that only grew over the years, he’d never been able to muster up the courage to change their relationship from what it had always been to anything more than that. They did everything as friends and were as close as two people could be, but it had never gone any further than that. Never. Until last night.

Before he knew it, the coffee had brewed, and the aroma was filling the apartment. He could hear the bedsprings in his room squeaking, and he jumped up quickly, trying to figure out what to do next. First things first. He grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet, poured two cups of coffee, making sure to add lots of sugar and milk for Buffy, and he headed into the bedroom with two steaming cups.

She had just pulled her shirt over her head and was finishing pulling up her jeans when Spike walked in, his curly hair an adorable mess on top of his head. That was the first thing she noticed. The second were his eyes. The third was the dark, very visible hickey on his neck.

“Morning,” he said softly, placing her cup down on the night stand. He took a few careful sips of his own before placing it next to her cup. “Still hot.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. “Um…I don’t…I need a hairbrush.”

“You can use mine,” he offered.

“Thanks.” She dodged his gaze and hurried into his bathroom, closing the door behind himself. Spike closed his eyes, mentally berating himself for not being a little more forward and offering to talk about things. This couldn’t happen again, right? As much as he wanted to wake up with her every morning, things were just too complicated. They were best friends. They were seniors in high school. They were getting ready to go off to college, albeit the same college, but they would be studying different things and taking two different paths. What was worse? She’d been vulnerable last night, and he’d…had he taken advantage of her? Did she feel that way? Was that why she was avoiding him this morning?

His heart pounded in his chest again, and he sat down on the bed, taking a few more sips of his own coffee.

When Buffy emerged from the bathroom, her hair was still flowing down her back, but it was in much less disarray.

She slowly sat down next to him, and he handed her cup to her.

“Thanks.” She blew over the steaming cup before taking a tentative sip.

“Welcome,” he mumbled. When he glanced at the clock, he nearly choked on his coffee. “We should get ready for school. I’ll give you a ride. We’ll be late, but…”

“Spike? It’s Saturday.” Spike furrowed his brows, suddenly remembering his feeling of accomplishment the night before when he’d finished all of his homework before the weekend had officially started.

“Oh. Right.”

“Yeah. I…I should…you know, Mom’s probably worried sick, and…”

“I’ll drive you. I know you didn’t drive yourself last night.”

“Yeah,” she said quietly, taking another sip of the soothing, hot drink.

“Buffy, last night…I didn’t…I’m sorry if I took advantage…”

“Advantage? What advantage?” Buffy wondered. “I kinda gave you the advantage, Spike. I was…I was a mess. I needed the one person I’ve always been able to count on.” She gave him a weak smile. “You were there for me, Spike. Thank you.”

“Oh,” he choked out. “Well, you’re…you’re, uh, you’re welcome.” Buffy eyed him as she drank her coffee, wondering if he regretted last night. She could tell he was worried, but at this point, the only thing she felt was relief that he hadn’t pushed her away. Of course, by the time the sex actually happened, they’d both been too drunk and too horny to stop each other.

“We don’t have to…to make a thing out of it, you know? What happened, happened,” Buffy murmured. “You were there for me, and I’m grateful. You’ve always been there for me.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and let out a soft sigh. “I didn’t think that would happen, but…we can’t let it affect our friendship, right?” Spike couldn’t help but feel a little tightening in his chest.

“Right,” he whispered.

“We’re ok, right? I mean…”

“Yeah. Yeah. Of course, luv. We’re right as rain.” He wrapped his arm around her, something he’d done a hundred times before. Only now, when he held her, he didn’t want to let her go. He wanted to keep her here with him; wanted to tell her that he wanted more. He’d wanted more for a very long time, and now that he’d had a little taste of how amazing they could be together, he didn’t want anything less. But…he didn’t want to scare her off. He wanted her in his life, and if all he could have was her friendship, it would have to be enough, because she was the only person he had left in his life that was worth giving a damn about. His father had left, he never heard from his ex-step-mother, and the only person left in his life who had been there for him since he could remember was Buffy. And that was more important than anything.

***

After Spike dropped her off at home, Buffy had managed to make it up the stairs without her mother stopping her. She could hear pots and pans rattling around in the kitchen, but there was no sign of her father’s car, so she figured it would only be the two of them at one very silent, tense dinner.

When she closed her bedroom door, she pressed her back against it and slid down until she was sitting on the floor. She let out a sigh she’d been holding in since she’d woken that morning. She wondered if she’d been convincing enough when she’d put on her brave face and told Spike that the fact that they’d had sex—amazing sex, from what she could remember in her fuzzy memory—didn’t have to change their relationship.

The fact was, she’d wanted Spike for quite some time. The first time she’d seen him shirtless after he’d started working out when he was seventeen, she’d had dreams of him and his sweaty, sculpted muscles. She’d had dreams of running her hands over every inch of him, exploring him and…well, now she’d had that dream come to life. Only she’d been too much of a chicken shit to tell him that she wanted more. She wanted her best friend to be her boyfriend. He was the only guy in her life that she trusted. Her father wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. Everything in her life had gone to crap the moment her parents explained the reasons for their divorce, and the only person she felt like she could count on was Spike.

A knock on Buffy’s bedroom door brought her out of her Spike-induced thoughts. She closed her eyes when her mother’s soft voice drifted into the room.

“Buffy, sweetheart, are you awake?” Buffy rolled her eyes. So she hadn’t even checked on her last night after the fight? If she’d done that, she’d have found Buffy nowhere to be seen.

“Yeah, Mom,” Buffy muttered.

“Come down for breakfast, alright?”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Honey, you barely ate anything at dinner last night. You need something…”

“I’m fine,” Buffy pointed out. She heard Joyce sigh and hoped that was the end of it, but when her mother spoke again, she could tell that Joyce was on the verge of tears.

“Alright. Well…it’s chocolate chip pancakes. You loved them when you were little. I’ll…I’ll toss them if you don’t want them.” Her mother’s footsteps moved away from the door, and Buffy frowned, wanting to stay up in her room and make her mother wonder what she could possibly do to help her daughter. Perhaps her parents would both be worried, and they’d come together again through their mutual worry of their daughter.

Buffy rolled her eyes at her own thoughts. That was doubtful, considering Hank was already sticking it to some other woman, and the divorce papers hadn’t even been filed yet.

At this thought, she realized that her mother didn’t really deserve the avoidance like her father did, so she pulled herself together and headed downstairs to meet her mother in the kitchen.

Joyce looked tired but freshened up. She had to work today. Buffy couldn’t for the life of her figure out why Joyce was going into work. If it had been her and the love of her life had delivered the crushing blow that split their marriage apart, Buffy wasn’t sure she could function, let alone go to work.

Of course, Joyce had known about the affair for months. Buffy had only found out last night. She knew that her parents had been having problems, but all marriages had their ups and downs, right? Why did her parents’ seemingly perfect-at-one-time marriage have to continue down the slippery slope into a pile of garbage getting poured down on by acid rain?

“Morning, sweetie.”

“Morning,” Buffy muttered, sitting down across from her mother at the counter. Joyce slid a plate of pancakes Buffy’s way. Buffy had no appetite whatsoever. She was still hung over, and the smell of food made her want to barf, but to appease her mother, she took a couple of small bites.

The elephant in the room was parading around knocking over expensive, invisible objects, while her mother calmly spread butter over her own pancakes. Buffy stared at her mother.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re going to work today?”

“Have to, honey. We’re getting a new shipment. You’re welcome to come help me sort it out if you want.”

“Don’t really feel like going out today.”

“I understand.”

“Did…did Dad call last night?” Joyce froze for only a second before going back to her task.

“I’m sure he’ll call you today. He knew how upset you were last night.”

“Yeah,” Buffy mumbled.

“I know this is gonna take some getting used to, but we’ll get through this together. You know that. We’ve always been strong, Buffy.”

“But Dad’s always been there. He’s not gonna be here anymore, Mom.”

“But he’s not moving very far away, and he said you’re welcome to stay with him anytime you want.”

“I don’t want to see him.”

“Your father didn’t cheat on you Buffy.” She frowned and decided to re-word. “What happened was between your father and myself.”

“And his secretary.”

“Buffy…”

“You know what, Mom? I think I’m gonna go lay back down. I’m not feeling so great.”

“Buffy, do you want me to stay home with you today?” Buffy shook her head.

“No. I’m ok. Really. I just…I’ll feel better later. Promise.” Joyce reached over and stroked Buffy’s hair.

“You know I love you, right? And so does your dad.” Buffy frowned but nodded.

“Yeah. I know.”

“Good. That won’t change. He and I might not be together anymore, but we’re still your parents, and that comes first, ok?”

“Guess so,” she said with a little shrug. “See you later, Mom. Have fun at work.” And with that, Buffy disappeared from the kitchen, leaving Joyce with the clean up.

Chapter 2

She hadn’t heard from her father all day. Her mother had said he’d call, and he hadn’t. She’d distracted herself from hanging out by the phone by doing her homework, cleaning her room and her bathroom, taking her second shower of the day, and making a big pan of double chocolate fudge brownies.

By the time two o’clock came around, she stared at the full pan of brownies, suddenly not feeling in the mood to eat them.

Then the phone rang.

She jumped and hurried over, trying not to sound too eager when she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” She thought her heart might fall a little when the voice on the other line wasn’t her dad’s, but it didn’t. It actually started to beat a little faster.

“Hey Spike. What’s up?”

“Just sitting around. Got all your homework done?”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I’ve been trying not to stay by the phone all day. He…he hasn’t called me, Spike.”

“I’m sorry, luv. Don’t know why he’s got to be such a bastard now that he’s gone.”

“Yeah, me neither. If you happen to find out the answer to that, let me know.”

“Will do, pet,” he chuckled. “What are you doing?”

“Staring at a huge pan of brownies. I haven’t touched them yet. You wanna join me for double fudge brownies and movies? Mom’s gonna be stuck at the gallery all day, and I just…I don’t wanna sit around here by myself anymore.” She felt her heart thud hard against her breastbone. Talking to Spike wasn’t awkward until she started thinking of the things they’d done last night. What if he wanted space?

“I’ll be right over. I’ll bring the pizza?”

“Pizza?” Buffy groaned.

“What? You love pizza.”

“We had pizza last night, Spike.” Last night? Crap. Too close, Buffy.

“S’alright. What else sounds good?”

“Hmm…pick up some chocolate icing. We’ll make them triple chocolate fudge.”

“Sounds like tissues may be involved.”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty of those. Just bring the icing.”

“Alright, luv. I’ll be there in two shakes.” He heard Buffy laugh a little, and then the line was dead. Spike ran his fingers through his hair before stuffing his hands in his pockets to search for money for icing. Luckily, his father sent him a check every month to help with rent and other expenses, because he wanted his son to focus on school and getting into college before worrying about taking on a job. That was one good quality about his father, but the fact that he rarely called pretty much stained every good gesture he made.

Just as soon as he’d pulled on his boots and grabbed his keys to head out the door, the phone rang. With a sigh, he reached over and picked it up.

“No, I didn’t forget about the icing, pet…”

“William?” Spike froze at the sound of his birth name on that voice.

“Dru?”

“Oh, William,” she sobbed. “I don’t know what to do. Angel just broke up with me, and I...I don’t know what to do.” Drusilla Lewis was had been Spike’s girlfriend off and on throughout his sophomore and junior year. Just before junior year ended, Dru had dumped him for a guy a year ahead of him. He was going into college, she’d said. He bought her lots of pretty things, she said. Angel O’Connor was not Spike’s favorite person.

When they’d first broken up, Spike hadn’t known what to do. He’d lost his virginity to Dru, and he’d loved her, but he’d gotten over the hurt quite quickly. Buffy had spent time with him, and before a week was up, Spike was his old self, laughing and joking again. He hadn’t much thought of Dru since then. Now, here they were, the first month into their senior year, and Dru was calling to cry on his shoulder.

“Sorry to hear that,” he said stiffly into the phone.

“Are you?”

“No. Not at all. Feels wonderful, doesn’t it?”

“William, please! I’m so…I don’t know what to do.”

“I know what you can do. You can call someone who cares.” With that, he hung up the phone and headed out to his car. He’d been harsh, sure, but he wouldn’t let Dru suck him back in again. She’d treated him like shit in the weeks before the break up, and he was pretty sure she’d been cheating on him.

Besides, Dru wasn’t his current concern. He didn’t care for her the way he once had. Now, the only girl he could think about was Buffy. He knew how he felt about it, but putting it into words was a frightening notion. What she needed right now was her best friend, not some guy that might as well be using her vulnerability to get her into his arms.

As soon as he got into his car, his cell phone rang, and he recognized Dru’s number. Shaking his head, he put his phone aside and pulled out, speeding off toward Revello Drive.

***

Buffy paced in front of the door, waiting to see Spike’s shiny, black car pull up out front. The moment she’d gotten off the phone with him, she’d gone into panic mode, wondering what the hell she was gonna say to him. Were they going to talk about it? Were they doing to pretend it didn’t happen? After this morning’s conversation, it was obvious that neither of them wanted to mess things up. But it didn’t stop her from wanting more. She wondered if he felt the same.

Her stomach was growling. An appetite was good, right? But what was taking him so long?

She sighed heavily and stepped out onto the front porch. She settled down onto the steps and looked out over the sunny neighborhood. She could still remember the day she met Spike. They were four years old. It was the day that she, her mother, and her dad moved in. Spike and his parents lived in the house next door. They’d moved in shortly before Buffy and her parents had. But judging by Spike’s present-day accent, one would think he’d lived in England his entire life. Perhaps it was his father’s presence through all of his entire childhood that had kept the accent around.

The day she’d met Spike, Buffy had been in the front yard with her little red wagon and a baby doll in the back. She was pulling it around as the movers helped her parents take furniture into the house. It was when she looked up and glanced across the street that she saw him. She’d have thought him to be cute if it weren’t for boys having cooties. He had bright, blonde curly hair that flopped down into his sparkling blue eyes with a little breeze. He was holding a water gun in one hand and a baseball glove in the other. Buffy, shy little girl that she was, didn’t make a move. She just watched him for a while as she made circles around the yard with her wagon.

After a while, he came across the yard, his mouth powdered with cookie crumbs on either side. Buffy blinked shyly at him and asked him if he’d wanted to play. He’d said that boys didn’t play house, and then Buffy had put her hands on her hips, cocked her head to the side, and asked if that were true, why did boys turn into daddies when they got older? She’d had him there, and from that moment on, they’d been inseparable.

She could still remember the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach when he’d come across the yard that day. She was so excited to have a new playmate. Back in her old town, the only playmate she’d had was her cousin who was two years older than her.

When Spike pulled up in the car out front, she felt that familiar feeling. Only this time, it wasn’t because she had a new playmate. It was that she was happy to see him. She often got that feeling deep inside when he was around. She trusted him completely, and she was pretty sure that’s what made it so easy to be around him, even after what had happened last night.

“You brought icing?” Buffy asked, when Spike drew near.

“Yep. Chocolate. Even brought sprinkles.”

“Oh, you know me so well!” she chirped, grabbing the grocery bag out of his hand and ushering him inside. Spike slid past Buffy and tossed his jacket into the coat closet. For October, it was pretty warm outside. But, he’d brought the jacket just in case.

By the time he got into the kitchen, Buffy already had half the brownies iced. Spike opened the bottle of sprinkles and gave them back to Buffy. The silence was broken moments later by Spike’s cell phone ringing. He ignored it.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?”

“No.”

“Okay…is somebody harassing you?”

“You could say that,” Spike muttered, reaching over to dip his finger into the chocolate icing. He brought his finger to his mouth and sucked off all the sweet topping. Buffy raised an eyebrow.

“Mind telling me who it is?”

“It’s Dru.”

“Dru? What the hell does she want?” Buffy wondered, feeling bile rising in her throat. She’d hated that skank from day one. Of course, she’d been jealous, but Dru had the tendency to be pretty nasty to people, and Buffy couldn’t figure out what Spike ever saw in that wretched girl.

“Seems that Angel’s dumped her.”

“Oh, what a shame,” Buffy mused sarcastically. “What’d you tell her?”

“Oh, as you can see, I told her I wanted her back. She’s right here holding my hand right now,” Spike smirked. Buffy rolled her eyes. Still, the thought of Spike and Dru getting back together was enough to make her stomach twist into knots. Surely he’d never take her back. Not after all the shit she’d put him through. “Pretty much told her to sod off. Hope it hurts.”

“Here. You look like you wanna cut something.” Buffy handed him the butter knife, and he sliced into the pan of brownies. She retrieved two small plates from the cupboard, and he served them each one, sprinkles and all.

After a few bites, Spike grinned at her.

“What?”

“These taste much better than those brownies you used to make. Tasted like mud.”

“Those were made of mud. We were seven, remember?”

“Oh, I’m talking about the ones you made in Home Ec. You know…freshman year?”

“Oh shut up. They weren’t that bad!”

“’Cept you mistook the salt for sugar. Those were bloody awful, and I had to eat them. We were partners!”

“Yeah, you looked cute in that frilly pink apron.” Spike rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. Cute. Not at all like a Nancy-boy.” Buffy grinned a little.

“C’mon. Let’s go watch a movie.” She popped the rest of her brownie in her mouth and headed into the living room. Spike finished up his snack and followed behind. “What’ll it be?”

“You’re the one needs cheering up. You pick.”

“Oh, you don’t wanna do that. Remember what happened last time I picked? You made gagging noises through the entire movie!”

“Oh come on. It was terrible.”

“No it wasn’t! The Notebook is a beautiful movie! I remember you paying particular attention when you thought you were gonna get to see boobs.”

“Well…they were wet and…and it was…” Buffy rolled her eyes and popped a DVD into the player.

“I promise you’ll like this one. There’s action. Maybe some boobs too.” She and Spike sat down on the couch together.

Buffy took a deep breath. Ok. This wasn’t at all weird. They were hanging out like usual. The fact that last night, Spike had been inside of her and it’d been the most amazing thing she’d ever felt, sober or drunk, in her entire life didn’t have to make things uncomfortable.

The movie started, and Buffy propped her feet up on the coffee table. Spike removed his boots and did the same. He couldn’t help but watch her during the first few minutes of the movie. Well, not her, exactly, but her toes. The nails were perfectly pink and polished. Her toes wriggled a little, and he glanced at her face to see the smile tugging on her lips.

Shit. She’d known he was staring. It was harmless. Just her toes. But the sudden flash of her body shuddering under his as she came made him wonder if he’d made her toes curl or not.

He shook the thoughts from his head. No. They couldn’t do this. Could they? God…when he looked at her again, her lids were lowered just a tad, and she was leaning against the back of the couch, her chest moving in even breaths. He couldn’t help but notice how her nipples were hardened beneath the fabric of her shirt. Was she wearing a bra?

He felt his cock twitch in his jeans, and he closed his eyes. Bloody buggering hell.

“Um…are you…are you warm enough?”

“Hmm?” she asked. “I’m ok. A little warm actually.” If she wasn’t cold then…fuck. “If you’re cold, you can turn the heat up.”

“I’m alright. Was just wondering if you were.” He cleared his throat and folded his hands over his stomach, thinking about everything and anything that might stop him from getting completely hard.

Buffy sighed softly as she tried to concentrate on the movie. But the fact that she could smell his cologne and hear his soft sighs as he watched the movie made her want to snuggle up against him and either fall asleep or do naughty things to him. She was just that comfortable with him. Still…the thought of doing what they’d done last night made her heart pound and her pussy drip, and she felt like a complete moron. This was Spike. They’d seen each other through the awkward puberty years in which they’d both gone through embarrassing growth spurts. She could distinctly remember the first time Spike saw a bra in her room. She’d been mortified, and little did she know that he’d been completely and utterly fascinated with her boobs ever since.

She smelled so damned good. Why’d she have to smell so good? He knew for a fact that she used a sweet pea body wash and spray. He’d been shopping with her the countless times she’d purchased the stuff. He figured she had enough to last her through the apocalypse. The smell drove him crazy. And she’d put on this sweet-smelling lip gloss that made her lips even more kissable, and he’d always wondered what it tasted like. Last night, he found out. Her lips tasted like strawberries, and it drove him wild. Of course she had to smell fantastic and taste sweeter than he’d imagined. Of course they were only going to be friends and nothing more. Of bloody fucking course.

“Want another brownie?” Buffy asked out of the blue, startling Spike from his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Another brownie?” She stared at him, wide-eyed, her green irises sparkling in the light that filtered in from the front window.

“Uh…no thanks. I’m good.” Buffy got up from the couch and left the room, and Spike let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. He was still semi-hard, but he knew that if she walked back into the room, long golden legs disappearing into those black shorts, bleeding into that pink tank top with a heart in the center, he’d go crazy, and there’d be no hiding his hard on from her.

So, acting fast, he rushed to the coat closet, found his jacket and rushed back to the couch. He draped the thing over his lap and internally scolded himself. That won’t be obvious you pillock.

But, she didn’t seem to notice when she came back in with another brownie. She sat down on the couch and ate slowly as she watched the film. Spike closed his eyes for a few minutes, trying to calm himself, and soon, he felt confident enough to take his jacket away.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Buffy shiver.

“Here, pet,” he offered, extending the coat out to her. She looked at him, a smudge of chocolate on her lower lip, and she smiled. God, she was adorable.

“I guess I am a little chilly. Thanks.” She wrapped the coat around herself, and she noticed Spike staring at her. “What?”

“You’ve got a little…here.” He leaned in and brushed her lower lip with his thumb. The warmth of her skin made his hand tingle, sending sparks all the way through his body. She looked into his eyes and then down.

“Thanks,” she whispered. He slowly withdrew his hand, and Buffy sighed.

“What’s the matter?”

“I dunno,” she said softly. “Just thinking about my parents again.”

“C’mere.” Spike grabbed the remote, turned the TV off, and offered his embrace to his best friend. She eyed him cautiously for a moment before deciding this should be ok. They always did this. This was normal. When all else failed, Spike’s arms were her safe haven; her home. So, she curled up against his side, and she tried not to think of how amazing he smelled when he hugged her tight.

“What’d you do?” she asked, trying to get her mind off of how much she wanted to taste his lips again.

“Hmm?”

“When your mom and step-dad got divorced?”

“You remember, don’t you, luv? Didn’t handle it very well at all. Think I blasted my dad out of the house with those CDs you burned for me. What was it you labeled them, again?”

“Parents Suck: Spike’s Mix.”

“That’s it,” Spike chuckled. “Took a lot of time to get over, but I had you. You were my sounding board, you know?”

“That’s it?” she wondered, looking up at him with those gorgeous, big green eyes. He nodded slowly.

“Well, yeah. I mean, you knew me better than anyone. Best thing you ever did for me was leave your window open so I could climb up those nights I didn’t wanna sleep over there.” Buffy felt tears sting her eyes. “You know, I’ll do the same for you.”

“Leave your window open for me?” she asked with a little grin.

“Sure,” he offered. “You can stay with me whenever you want.”

“Thanks, Spike.” She placed her head against his chest again, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. She closed her eyes, and soon, she felt herself practically sinking into him. What she didn’t realize was that she’d fallen asleep, and when she opened her eyes after what seemed like seconds, the living room was much darker, and judging by the clock, she realized she’d been asleep over two hours, and she was now laying on top of Spike on the couch.

She quickly looked up, seeing his eyes closed. She wriggled off of him and out of his arms, and she stood there by the couch, looking down at him, her heart pounding. They’d fallen asleep together before, but…not like this. And to top it all off, she hadn’t slept so good in a long time.

She cocked her head to the side, watching him sleep, the corners of his mouth pulled up in the tiniest of smiles. God, those lips. She closed her eyes, remembering the feel of them against hers. Despite the alcohol, she could remember every moment of their first kiss. He’d brushed his lips across hers so softly she was almost certain she’d imagined it. But when she opened her eyes, he cupped her face in his hands and leaned in, kissing her more intently, letting her know that he’d never hurt her. He’d always be there. And she knew he would, too. No matter what happened between them, she could count on him. He’d be there when she needed him, because she was always there for him.

Spike’s cell phone began to ring again, and Buffy jumped. Spike stirred in his sleep, and Buffy instinctively grabbed for his phone to turn it off before Spike could wake completely. But when she flipped it open, she realized that it wasn’t a phone call. He’d received a text message. From Drusilla.

Buffy shut the phone. It wasn’t any of her business. But it involved Spike. Her best friend, Spike. The man she…the man she cared about more than anything. So it involved her. And against her better judgment, she opened the phone again and opened Spike’s new text message from his ex-girlfriend. It simply read: I MISS YOU. PLEASE TALK TO ME.

Buffy sighed and marked it as unread before placing the phone back down on the coffee table.

“None of my business,” she muttered. He wouldn’t go back to her, would he? Surely not. And Buffy just knew that if he did, it would hurt like hell to watch him fall back into that trap. Whether she’d wanted to or not, she’d felt something last night, and she could have sworn he’d felt it too.

The tears prickled at her eyes again, and before she could let out a frustrated sob, she exited the room and made her way upstairs to the bathroom so he wouldn’t have to wake to her crying. Over him.

Chapter 3

Buffy hadn’t seen Spike at all on Sunday. After he’d left Saturday night, Buffy had told him she’d see him Monday, because she wanted to spend Sunday with her mother. However, Buffy’s plans with her mother fell through, because Joyce had to go into the gallery again due to a problem with a shipment. Instead of calling Spike and making plans with him, however, she’d spent the day at home, trying to rationalize her feelings for Spike; trying to explain that she was only feeling these things because they’d slept together. She knew she was only kidding herself. The feelings had started way before that. Apparently, she sucked at lying to herself, so how in the hell was she going to lie to Spike if the subject ever came up again?

That was when the little voice inside of her head told her that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell him that she felt more than friendship between them. Then Buffy would tell that voice to shut the hell up, but she’d spend the next few hours thinking about it. God, what would it be like to be Spike’s girlfriend? Would it really be any different than what they had now? The closeness, the intimacy of mind and spirit, the shared laughs. Of course, sex would be a perk. And kissing. And heavy petting.

And she was wet again. It was now Monday morning, and she was thinking back to waking up in Spike’s arms on the couch. God, how she wished she’d done things differently. Maybe kissed him awake and caught him a little off guard. Maybe he’d have responded. Maybe he wouldn’t have pushed her away.

Most days, he picked her up for school, so she wasn’t the least surprised when she saw him pull up outside. He honked the horn, and she took a few deep breaths. It was going to take all of her courage to keep herself pulled together this morning and not make an idiot out of herself. As much as she needed to tell him she thought she was starting to fall for him, she knew that the best thing for their friendship right now was to wait it out. Perhaps these feelings weren’t real. Maybe it was just a temporary insanity kind of thing. By the end of the week, she and Spike would be thinking clearly, and they could put it all behind them.

But they’d had sex. That was a big deal. Maybe it shouldn’t have been, but it was. Maybe not so much for him. He’d had a little more experience. The most sex she’d ever had was losing her virginity to Riley Finn after a party junior year. She hadn’t really wanted to sleep with him, but the fact that she was a seventeen year old virgin, most of her friends had ‘done it,’ and teen sex was culturally expected pretty much set her mind to it. Of course, hearing from Spike that he’d lost his virginity to Drusilla hadn’t made her any saner in her decision. So, she’d had sex for all of four minutes and thirty five seconds, all of which she’d counted in her head, because to her surprise, it was Riley’s first time too, and she’d never thought sex could feel so…so mechanical.

She and Riley had drifted apart shortly after the short, boring sex in the cheap hotel room he’d rented, and then he’d joined the military and gone off to parts unknown. She’d never heard from him again, and she didn’t often think of him, unless Spike talked about Drusilla, which automatically led to her seething disgust that Drusilla had had Spike first. And of course, that brought her mind back to that night when Riley had moaned and panted on top of her and then had asked if it was good for her. Of course, she’d smiled and nodded, and as soon as he got off of her, she’d dressed and asked him to take her home.

By the time Buffy made it out to the car, she had calmed herself enough to flash her best friend a bright smile.

“Morning, luv.”

“Morning,” she replied, buckling herself in as he drove down the street.

“Have a good time with your mum yesterday?” Buffy frowned and chewed on her lip.

“Uh…yeah.” God, why did it feel so horrible telling him such a little white lie? “What’d you do yesterday.”

“Nothing much. Dru called me again.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. She kept saying she misses me and that she made a mistake when she dumped me.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Buffy eyed him.

“You talked to her?”

“I got sick of her calling. Wanted to tell her to piss off.” Buffy frowned.

“You didn’t have to talk to her. I mean…she’s trying to break you down, Spike.”

“Well, she won’t have the satisfaction, will she? Unless she somehow develops mind-controlling powers, the only thing telling me what to do in her case is my brain. And I think it’s working pretty good.” Buffy frowned anyway. “If I see her today, I’ll tell her to stop calling me. I’ll bloody change phones if I have to.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly, “but you know Drusilla. She’ll do whatever it takes to get what she wants.” Spike sighed and gripped the steering wheel a little harder.

“Yeah. Well I don’t want her.” I want you. Just say it, you bleedin’ idiot! Buffy stared straight ahead. “Don’t want anything to do with her.”

“Alright.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you mean that, Spike. I do. It’s just…Dru is…well, she’s beautiful. Long, dark hair. Fair skin. I mean, I know the tanned thing is in, but she’s so…exotic.” Spike rolled his eyes.

“Between you and me, she might be pretty on the outside, but she’s a bore, pet. She’s nothing like…” He swallowed hard. “And in bed? She might have been my first, but…well, I don’t thinks she’s been educated in the fine art of how to please a lover.” Buffy flinched, and Spike didn’t notice.

“I must’ve been horrible then.”

“What?” Was she out of her mind?

“Dru’s been with….well, I don’t know how many guys. Before you it was Riley. And just once.” She looked out the passenger window.

“Buffy…I…no! You weren’t horrible.” She couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall. She kept her head turned so he wouldn’t see. Spike pulled over to the side of the road, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Buffy, you weren’t…you weren’t horrible. You were great.”

“Sure,” she whispered, taking in a few uneven breaths. Spike shook his head. How the hell did he tell her that being with her was the most amazing thing he’d ever experienced? How it made sex with Dru feel like a chore?

“Hey, look at me.” She wouldn’t. “Buffy. Please. You’re my best friend.” Buffy closed her eyes, feeling the tears growing hotter beneath her lids. Finally, she opened them, letting the tears slip out, and she turned her head to look at him. “You weren’t terrible. You were…” Amazing. Fantastic. Say something, you bloody idiot. “You were the best…I mean…” He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “I don’t have a lot of experience to compare it to, but…wow.” Buffy’s breath caught in her throat.

“Wow?”

“Yeah.” His face felt hot. Was he blushing? Buffy couldn’t help but smile a little. She knew when he was lying, and he wasn’t. He really meant that? “It was you, Buffy. I mean…we’ve known each other forever. I wasn’t afraid with you. I just…it felt…it was new. It was good, Buffy. I just…”

“I know,” she whispered. Spike cleared his throat and pulled back out onto the road.

“It wasn’t terrible. Never think that. You have no idea how beautiful you are, luv.” Buffy felt her jaw drop a little. His eyes were on the road now, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. The things he said, she’d dreamed of him saying them to her. But now…everything was so confusing. Why couldn’t she just tell him?

“Just for the record,” she dared, “you quadrupled Riley’s time.” She immediately felt like an idiot, but Spike raised an eyebrow.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No,” she said, embarrassed. “Really not.”

“Poofter,” Spike murmured, getting a silly grin out of Buffy.

“And compared to Riley? Definitely worthy of a wow.” Spike couldn’t help but beam at that. Here they were, best friends, telling each other they were the best sex either of them had ever had, despite limited experiences. Did that not mean something?

“Feel better now, pet?”

“I guess,” she said quietly. Spike pulled into the parking lot of Sunnydale High.

“What’s on your mind, pet? You can talk to me about anything. Y’know that, right? I mean, it’s me.” Buffy looked up at him.

“Yeah. It’s you,” she whispered. She had to fight back tears again. “I’m so confused, Spike.” Spike felt a lump rise in his throat.

“Ok.” He gave her a little nod, urging her to continue.

“I don’t know what to do. I…you’re my best friend. But I’ve been having these…these feelings.”

“Since the other night?” She buried her face in her hands.

“Oh God.”

“Since before?” He asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Mmmfffmmm,” she mumbled, nodding lamely into her hands. Spike couldn’t help but smile a little, and he reached over, pulling her hands away from her face and forcing her to look at him.

“So have I, luv.”

“You…really?” She swallowed hard. She had to be dreaming. Yep. That’s what this was. One of her many, many Spike-filled dreams. She knew that at any minute, the porn scenario was going to kick in, and she’d wake up in a sweat, one hand down her panties.

“I didn’t wanna scare you, luv. I just…and I thought telling you after what happened…look, I didn’t want to use you, and…”

“You didn’t use me. I was upset. You were there. I wanted to just as much as you did, ok?” She swallowed hard. “And now all I can think about is…is wanting to do it again, and I know we can’t.”

“We can’t?”

“No! Spike, we’re best friends. If we…if we were more, what if…what if something went wrong? I don’t wanna lose you. You mean too much to me to lose you like that. You and Drusilla? That was a nasty breakup. I don’t want that to happen to us.”

Spike couldn’t help but agree with her. Well, he agreed that he didn’t want anything to happen to ruin their friendship, but he didn’t want them to deny themselves the right to be happy.

“Me and Dru? That’s nothing like what he have, luv. You’re my best friend. You know…you know everything about me. You’re the only person I can talk to, and if something went wrong, I’d hope we could talk through it, like we’ve always talked through everything else.” Buffy nodded.

“Yeah, I know, Spike. It just…it scares me. We’re going off to college next year, and we don’t know what’ll happen after that. Staying friends after high school’s hard enough. What if…” She shook her head. As much as she wanted to be able to call Spike something more than just a friend, she knew that she wanted him in her life forever, even if it meant remaining friends.

Spike looked away, swallowing that lump in his throats.

“So we’ll stay friends, yeah? Like we said before.”

“I think we have to, Spike. Maybe…maybe we’ll start dating other people, and this’ll just…it’ll go away.” She didn’t believe a word of what she just said. He didn’t either. But for the sake of their friendship, they both decided it’d be best to give it a good try.

“Right then,” he said quietly. “We better get a move on. Don’t wanna be late for that Chem test.”

***

“Divorced?!” Willow Rosenberg squeaked, as she and Buffy sat together in study hall.

“Shh!” Buffy hissed, not wanting the entire school to know just yet. She was still trying to adjust to her parents’ split. “Yeah. They told me Friday night. I…I didn’t take it very well.”

“I wouldn’t either. Oh my God, Buffy. Are you ok?”

“Yeah. I think so,” Buffy muttered, drawing lazy circles on her notepad instead of doing Calculus. Cordelia Chase came waltzing over, all smiles.

“Hey girls.”

“Hi Cordy,” Buffy mumbled. Sensing her friend’s tone, Cordelia raised an eyebrow.

“Not a ‘hey girls’ kinda day. What’s up?” Buffy and Willow shared a glance, and then Buffy nodded.

“Buffy’s parents are getting a divorce. She doesn’t want anybody else to know right now.”

“Oh my God. Buffy, are you…”

“I’m fine,” Buffy said briskly. “I…I think I am anyway.”

“When…”

“They told me Friday,” Buffy pointed out, catching Cordelia up. Cordelia put a comforting hand over Buffy’s.

“If you wanna talk about it,” Willow offered, “you know we’ll listen.”

“Actually…that’s not what I wanna talk about.” Buffy brought the end of her ink pen to her lips and began to chew on it. Cordelia took the pen away. Bad habits needed to be broken.

“So what’s up?” Cordelia asked.

“I did something…really bad.”

“Oh?”

“Well, it was really, really not bad, if you know what I mean. It was…amazing. But…but so bad. I can’t believe…”

“Buffy!” Willow urged. “What did you do?” Buffy sighed, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. She looked over her shoulder to make sure nobody was listening, and then after a sharp intake of breath and another dramatic pause, she opened her mouth.

“I slept with Spike.”

“No!” Willow gasped.

“Oh my God,” Cordelia hissed. “No way. Because, Spike? Hello, salty goodness! How did you…”

“I went over there. I didn’t know what else to do. You know, he’s been my best friend since forever, and…and he was there for me.”

“I’ll bet,” Cordelia snorted.

“But…how did you get from being upset about your mom and dad to…you know, jumping all over Spike?”

“Hey, it’s not like I’m some crazed sex fiend,” Buffy defended. “Wil, it was a lot more than that.”

“Well, obviously. You’ve been into him forever,” Cordelia teased.

“What?! How did you…”

“It’s so obvious. It’s kinda sweet. You’ve grown up together, and now you’re finding your way to each other. And by the way? He’s totally into you.”

“I know,” Buffy groaned.

“And that’s a bad thing, why?” Willow wondered. “Buffy, if you like him, and he likes you…well, you already did the sex thing, so what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I don’t want to ruin our friendship!” Buffy choked out, holding back the tears. Cordelia sighed.

“You didn’t tell him that, did you?”

“Yeah.” It came out as a squeak.

“Before or after he told you how he felt?”

“After,” Buffy muttered, hanging her head.

“What? Buffy!” Cordelia groaned. “Why’d you go and do that?”

“I don’t know! Ok? I was scared. I wanna be with him, and…and I guess he wants to be with me, but I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re like…perfect for each other.”

“I told him we could try dating other people. It could be some temporary thing, and it’ll go away.” Cordelia’s jaw dropped, and Willow sighed, shaking her head.

“I might not be so good with the boys, but Buffy, I think you just made one of the biggest relationship mistakes ever,” Willow explained. “You and Spike? Pretty perfect for each other. Something like that doesn’t come along every day.”

“I know,” Buffy cried, reaching for a tissue in her book bag. “But I don’t wanna lose him.”

“Who says you’re gonna lose him?”

“My parents? They were perfect for each other. And now they’re getting divorced. I mean…if it could happen to them…”

“Your parents didn’t know each other as long as you and Spike have before they got together. C’mon, Buff, Spike is a good guy. A really good guy,” Willow offered. “I think you should go talk to him.”

“Really?”

“I agree with Willow,” Cordelia said with a nod, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “Talk to him, because rumor has it, Drusilla is making plans to tangle him up in her web of sluttiness again. You’d better act fast before she has the chance to get her fangs into him.”

“What kind of metaphor were you going for? Spider or…”

“Whatever!” Cordelia exclaimed. “Just go! He’s in gym right now. If Snyder asks, I’ll say you’re sick and in the bathroom, k?” Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat, and she felt her stomach beginning to do flip flops.

“I don’t…”

“Go, Buffy! If you really wanna be with him, go now,” Willow exclaimed. “It’ll be romantic. Just run to him and tell him you love him, and he’ll sweep you up into his arms on the basketball court, and…”

“Lay off the romance novels, Wil,” Buffy urged with a little grin as she stood up. “Ok. I’m going. Do I look ok?”

“You look fabulous. Now get the hell out of here,” Cordelia ordered, pointing toward the hall. Buffy swallowed her pride, put one foot in front of the other, and headed off to tell Spike that she was an idiot and that he shouldn’t listen to her, because what mattered was being true to their feelings, and if being together was what that meant, then that’s exactly what they should do.

***

When Buffy stepped into the gym, she smiled a little at the sight of Spike playing basketball with their friend Xander Harris. The two had always had a friendly rivalry, always trying to one-up the other in just about everything, so it was no surprise to see the two of them giving it their all at their game. Judging by the look on Xander’s face, Spike was winning.

But, when Spike glimpsed Buffy watching him from near the bleachers, he passed the ball to Xander and headed off the court.

“Buffy? Something wrong?” he asked, eyeing her seriously. She smiled nervously at him.

“Um, no. I just…I wanted to talk to you about something.” Spike nodded.

“Good. I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something too.”

“Ok?” she said, her throat drying up.

Spike nodded and led her over to the bleachers. They sat down, both trying to block out of the sounds of the basketballs hitting the gym floor.

“What’s up?” she wondered.

“You go first.”

“No, it’s ok. Really.”

“Ok.” He cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair. “Well, considering what you said in the car this morning…I just…look, Xander’s cousin Faith comes into town this weekend, and he’s supposed to be stuck with her. But he’s got some big date, and he doesn’t wanna show her the sights. So he…he asked me to do it.”

“Oh,” Buffy whispered, her throat going dry again. “So you’re taking out Xander’s cousin.”

“As a favor.”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“Well you seem kinda…”

“No, it’s cool,” she lied. “I, uh, I was just coming to tell you that…that I’m glad that things are ok between us.” Spike eyed her, but then she flashed him a promising smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“I don’t want it to be weird between us, Buffy. I really…I really would rather take you out than Faith, but with this whole just friends thing…maybe you’re right. Maybe we just need to…”

“Spend some time apart.” It felt like getting hit in the gut with bowling ball when she uttered those words.

“Yeah. Maybe.” His eyes were practically pleading with her to protest. To tell him that she didn’t want him to go. His head was screaming at him to tell Xander to find someone else, but he couldn’t. If this was what Buffy wanted for now, then he was going to have to deal with it. Maybe…just maybe going out with Faith would show Buffy what she really wanted. Maybe this thing with Faith would be a good thing after all.

Chapter 4

Xander Harris was pleasantly surprised to find his friend Buffy waiting for him after school, but the moment he saw the look on her face, he realized that this was not a pleasant social call.

“Hey Buffster,” he said nervously, trying to lighten the mood. “Need a ride home?”

“No thanks. I’m waiting on Spike. I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Ok. Shoot.”

“Are you a complete moron?”

“What?”

“You’re sending Spike out on a date with your cousin Faith.”

“It’s not really a date,” Xander offered. “But I figured, he’s single. She’s…”

“The biggest hoebag this side of the Mississippi?” Xander’s eyes widened at Buffy’s declaration. “I was talking to Cordy earlier, and she said that when you two dated, she met Faith. And she said Faith had already met just about every guy at the party you guys went to.” Xander grimaced and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Ok. So she gets around, but she’s nice, and…”

“And you’re setting her up with Spike!”

“What’s so bad about that? I mean, it’s not like Spike’s seeing anybody,” Xander pointed out. Buffy folded her arms across her chest, and she raised an eyebrow. Getting the hint, Xander backed up a little.

“I didn’t know, Buffy. I didn’t…well, does he know you…you know, have a thing for him?”

“Oh, he knows. He has a thing for me too.”

“Yeah. I…I knew that.” He cleared his throat. “So…what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I’m more of a moron than you are,” she groaned, shoulder slumping.

“Buff…is there anything I can do?”

“Unless you can figure out how to turn back time and keep me from saying something I really didn’t mean to say, then no. No, you can’t.” She leaned back against the wall. “Cordelia and Willow told me I should tell him to forget what I said and to give us a try. Of course, I go to Spike, and he’s already making plans to take Faith out. And if Faith’s reputation is what Cordy claims, then she’s definitely going to do her part to make sure he gets over me.” Xander frowned.

“If it makes you feel any better, he really didn’t wanna take her. I had to promise to pay for gas and everything.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He didn’t wanna go.”

“Did he say anything else?”’

“Uh…” Xander was suddenly very uncomfortable.

“Xander? Did he say anything else?”

“He just said…he said he’d rather be taking you out. But now that I know you have a thing for him too…Buffy, I can find somebody else to take out Faith.” Buffy sighed.

“If he wants to go…”

“Are you deaf, woman? He doesn’t wanna go, Buffy. Just…talk to him, ok? He seemed pretty miserable this morning, and I guess I know why now.” Buffy nodded her head.

“Thanks, Xander.”

“Seriously. Talk to him. Because if you don’t, I’m telling him exactly what you said to me right now. Either way, he’s gonna hear the truth.” Buffy swallowed hard.

“You don’t think it’d be weird? Me and Spike?”

“You’re basically attached at the hip already. I think we can deal with a little smooching and PDA. Just not too much, ok? Don’t have to flaunt your love in our faces or anything.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Noted,” she grinned.

“Go on. Go tell him, Buffy. Before you lose your chance.”

“Or my nerve,” Buffy added. She gave him a weak smile and headed out to the parking lot, where Spike was heading to his car. “Spike!” He turned quickly to see her rushing over to him.

“Was just gonna pull up front. Get that task done?”

“Uh, yeah. Um, hey, are you busy now?”

“Just got homework. That can wait. That can always wait.”

“Ok. Well, uh, do you wanna maybe go hang out at my place for a while? My mom’s gonna be at work ‘til seven.”

“Sure,” he said with a nod. “I’d love to.” He flashed her that smirk that made her knees weak and her panties wet. She took a deep breath. She could do this. He was Spike. Her best friend. The guy who wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. All she had to do was take that next step. She just hoped that she wouldn’t crash and burn.

***

“Buffy?”

“Can I come in?”

“S…sure,” he said slowly, opening the door wider and stepping aside so she could enter. His heart was immediately lodged in his throat at the sight of her tear-stained, mascara-smudged face.

The minute the door was shut, she was holding herself up against him, clutching his shirt in her hands, as he soothed her with soft words and rubbing slow, calming circles against her back. He closed his eyes, letting her cry it out before he even attempted to move.

They stood there for what seemed like hours, but before too long, Buffy looked up, wiping her eyes, and she said the words she’d never thought she’d have to say.

“My parents are getting divorced.”

“Oh Buffy. I’m…I’m sorry, pet,” he whispered. It had come to a surprise to him. Hank and Joyce Summers had always seemed like such a solid, happy couple. If any couple had a chance in hell at making it in this cruel bloody world, he figured it would have been them.

“They just told me. I couldn’t stay. I didn’t know where else to go. I just…”

“Shh,” he whispered. “S’alright. You know you’ve always got a place here.”

“Thank you.” She blinked her bleary, beautiful green eyes at him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“For one,” he offered, brushing the pad of his thumb across her cheek to catch a falling tear, “you’d be crying out in the road.”

“Right,” she whispered, smiling a little.

“Pizza guy just came. Pepperoni. It’s still hot. You hungry?”

“I just ate,” she admitted. Spike cocked his head to the side. He knew that when things were crummy, Buffy would indulge herself in a pig out, and Spike would always be right beside her, pigging out as well so she wouldn’t feel bad. “So yeah, I’d love some.”

“That’s my girl,” he said with a grin. “C’mon.” He took her hand and led her to the couch. He disappeared into the small kitchen and returned seconds later with a large pizza box. He opened it up on the coffee table and went back into the kitchen. He returned with two glasses and a bottle of the hard stuff, courtesy of his father’s liquor cabinet. He’d nicked it shortly before his father moved back to London.

He sat down next to her, poured the amber-colored liquid into the glass and handed it to her.

“You don’t have to drink it. Just thought…” And she downed it in one gulp. “Or you could do that.”

“Thanks,” Buffy offered, placing the glass down on the table. She took a piece of pizza out of the box and took a bite. After a few moments, she eyed the liquor bottle and looked at Spike. “Are you gonna have some too, or am I drinking alone tonight?”

***

“I did not,” she laughed after a loud hiccup.

“Yes you did,” Spike snorted. “Fell right over the handlebars, and your skirt went over your head. I remember it well. It was the day you stopped wearing dresses. ‘Least ‘til you were fourteen.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“You’re such a liar.”

“Would I ever lie to you?” Spike asked, picking up the empty bottle. He frowned and reached for a beer.

“No,” Buffy said quietly, running her finger along the neck of her own beer bottle. “You’ve never lied to me. You’re the only person I can trust.” Her eyes met his, and if he wasn’t so bloody drunk, he might have heard the hint in her voice. The hint that was begging him to make her feel better.

“Adults are bloody stupid.”

“We’re adults, you know.”

“Barely,” Spike muttered. “It’s the older ones I’m talking about. The ones that are supposed to…to set an example. What do we have? Parents who can’t even make their own marriages work. But they…they want the best for us? What the bloody hell is that?”

“I know!” Buffy agreed, slapping Spike’s knee. “If they wanted what was best for us, they’d have stayed together!”

“Right you are, luv,” he slurred. He chugged his beer and placed the bottle on his bedside table. They’d moved into his room, which was where his television was at the moment. They’d turned on something, anything to have something to focus on, but it had failed to distract them from Buffy’s sorrows.

“God I’m so tired,” Buffy whispered. She was sitting up on the bed, and Spike was laying back against the pillows.

“Can sleep here tonight if you want,” he breathed, rubbing his eyes. Buffy nodded and lay back against the bed, turning on her side to face him.

“You’re my best friend. You know that, right?” She blinked slowly, her eyelids heavy. He cupped her face in his hand, turning on his side to face her.

“And you’re mine.” She smiled a little, and he traced the shape of her mouth with his thumb. She made a soft humming sound, and she looked deep into his eyes, feeling those familiar pangs of longing that made her want to cry. She swallowed hard and boldly kissed the pad of his thumb.

His breath caught in his throat, and he leaned in to kiss her forehead. He then made the mistake of taking in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet scent. It killed him every time. He could feel her tremble against his hand, and he pulled back.

“Spike?”

“What is it, luv?”

“You know I love you, right?” Spike smiled sadly. Of course she loved him. They’d been friends forever.

“Yeah. I love you too, pet.”

Buffy nearly choked up then. He didn’t get it. Unfortunately, she didn’t get that his words meant so much more than they did as well.

He pulled her in close again, and he kissed the top of her head. She buried her face against his chest, breathing in the intoxicating scent of him. Everything she’d ever wanted to say to him that she couldn’t say was right on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to say that being with him was the happiest and the most scared she’d ever been at the same time. Being with him made her a better person. If it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t have a reason to smile in the morning anymore. He was the only one she could count on, and she was certain he was going to be there forever. That made her feel safe. That was a comfort.

When they both pulled back, she took the initiative and leaned in, pressing her lips softly against his. Their mouths met only for a moment before Spike pulled back.

“Buffy?” His eyes were wide, and his lips were parted as little pants of breath came out.

“Please, Spike. I just…I need you.” Tears began to trickle down her face. “I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

“You’re not alone, luv. You’ll never be alone again.” He closed his eyes when her hand moved up his arm and then down his chest. “Buffy…”

“I trust you. You…you’re the only guy I trust myself with. Please, hold me, Spike.” Spike’s throat went dry, but before he had the chance to say a word, her lips were on his again, and he couldn’t stop her, not even if he’d wanted to. It just felt so right, holding her and being the comfort she needed. Damn the consequences.

***

Buffy wondered exactly how long she’d been upstairs ‘changing’ out of her school clothes. The moment they’d arrived at her house, she’d excused herself to go change, and Spike had gone into the kitchen to scrounge up some after-school snacks. However, Buffy had failed to even start changing. Instead, she was pacing her bedroom, trying to think of what to say to him.

How exactly was a girl supposed to go up to her best friend and say something along the lines of, “Hey, you know that thing I told you about us not being together? Forget that.” It probably wasn’t as hard as it sounded, but this was Spike. She loved Spike. She was falling in love with him more and more each time she thought of him. But that fear was still there. It gripped her heart. There was an empty place in her home now, because her parents’ marriage hadn’t lasted. What if this thing with Spike didn’t work out either?

“Buffy?” The voice was followed by a knock. “You decent?”

“Uh, yeah.” Buffy cleared her throat and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Spike opened the door and poked his head in. He furrowed his brows at the sight of her.

“Thought you were gonna change.”

“Oh yeah,” she said quietly. Spike stepped into the room and closed the door. He leaned against it, and it was all Buffy could do to stop from staring at his well-muscled arms, thinking about the way those muscles flexed when he was pumping in and out of her. God, the strength he had…

“Buffy, what’s going on? What’s the matter?”

“I just…Spike…” She had to sit down on her bed to stop herself from falling on her face. She was dizzy. Her palms were sweating. They were best friends. They’d had sex. They knew everything about each other. So why did she feel like she was in the middle of a chase scene in a scary movie? Only she was sitting still, waiting for disaster to strike.

She leaned forward, burying her head in her hands. Spike, eyes filled with worry, rushed to her. He knelt before her, taking her hands in his.

“Talk to me. Please, Buffy.” She looked up at him, green eyes searching blue.

“I just…I wanted to tell you…” Her lower lip trembled, and Spike gave her a quick nod to tell her to go on, but she couldn’t. Instead, her hands found his face, and she pulled him to her, sealing her lips against his.

Chapter 5

As much as he’d wanted to kiss her and hold her and do things to her he never thought he’d get the chance to do again, he pushed back on her shoulders, breaking the kiss. He stumbled back onto the floor, while she teetered unevenly on the edge of the bed for a moment.

Both stared at each other, chests heaving with surprise and the intense desire to keep doing what they’d been doing a moment again. His eyes were questioning, hers were pleading.

“Buffy?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, lower lip trembling. “I just…I didn’t know what to say to you.” Spike scooted himself back up onto his knees and took Buffy’s hands in his.

“Just say what you need to say,” he offered.

“Yeah,” Buffy snorted, rolling her eyes. “I keep playing it over and over in my head, and it sounds so stupid. I mean, it’s you and me. It’s us.”

“What’s so stupid about that?” Spike squeezed her hands reassuringly.

“Not us. What’s stupid is that you’re the only person I really trust in this world, and I’m afraid to tell you that…that I don’t want you to see Faith this weekend.” Spike couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips at her words. “What are you smiling about?”

“I’m smiling because I don’t fancy seeing her either,” he said softly. “Xander had to bribe me to take her out.”

“Yeah, he told me.” She sniffled, and Spike reached over to her nightstand and grabbed a tissue. “Thanks.” She dabbed at the end of her nose.

“So that’s what you were doing after school. Talking to Xander?”

“Yeah,” she whispered sheepishly. “I told him he was an idiot, but I’m the one that was the idiot, Spike.” She swallowed hard and bravely looked into his eyes. “What I said about staying friends? That…that was stupid, ok? We’ve been best friends for so long, and I was so afraid of ruining things. You’re the one person in my life that has been there constantly, and I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you.” Spike shook his head.

“That’ll never happen, luv. Even if we have some huge, catastrophic blow up? I’ll be the first to wave the white flag just so you’ll talk to me again. It’s always been that way.”

“Yeah,” she said with a sad smile, “you say that now, but Spike…”

“Buffy, that doesn’t matter. The ‘what if’s?’ That’s all they are, luv. We’re not even dating yet, and you’ve got us breaking up and never speaking to each other again. How is it you bloody Americans say it? You’re…putting the cart before the horse, luv.”

“You’re American,” she giggled. “You’re just too stubborn to get rid of the accent.”

“Don’t change the subject,” he grinned.

“Ok. Ok.”

“Tell me what you want, Buffy.”

“You tell me first.”

“We’re really gonna do this?”

“Yeah. I made the first move. You make the next.” Despite the tears in Buffy’s eyes, Spike could tell she was teasing him.

“Right then,” he shrugged, getting up and sitting on the bed. He nudged her shoulder with his own, and she smiled, placing her head there. He took one of her small hands between both of his large ones. “What do I want?”

“Mmm.”

“I want you, Buffy. Have for a long time.” She pulled her head up and looked into his eyes. “It’s the honest truth, kitten. Never knew how to say it to you. Was afraid of ruining things. Guess we got something in common there, hmm?”

“I guess,” she smiled.

“The other night? When I made love to you? It was the best night of my life. I know you were hurting, but…but I made that stop for a little while. I made you smile. I…I did a little more than that.” He smiled when he saw the blush rise to her cheeks. “It was something I’d dreamed of for a long time. I just…I’ve wanted you for a long time, Buffy, so this just-friends thing? It’s killing me.” Buffy swallowed hard and nodded her head.

“Yeah, I get that.” She turned a little to look at him. “When I came here the other night…having sex with you wasn’t my intention.”

“Thanks, luv,” he teased.

“That’s not what I mean.” The smile tugging at her own lips faded. “But I didn’t not want it to happen.” She could see Spike canceling out the double negatives in his head, and then his eyes widened. “Yeah. I’ve had the biggest crush on you for a long time. But lately…Spike…” Her throat was dry again.

“Just say it, luv.”

“Alright,” he said softly.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” She wanted to hide her face, or better yet, run. But she couldn’t move. She was just looking into his eyes, trying to gauge his reaction.

How many times had he imagined her saying those words to him? How many times had he thought he might say them before she would? But actually hearing them? There was nothing like it. His heart swelled in his chest, and with each moment he said nothing, he saw the doubt cloud her eyes. He had to say something.

“Spike?” she asked. “I…I’m kind’ve on a limb here. What are you thinking? I probably just did the dumbest thing that…” And he kissed her. He took her face between his hands and brought her to him, kissing her hungrily, needing to show her that they would never be just friends again. It was impossible. They were too far in now.

Before either of them knew it, Spike and Buffy were lying on her bed, and he was kissing her neck. She gasped softly when his hand brushed up her ribcage and along the side of her breast. She bit her lower lip, gripped the back of his head in her hand and brought his lips to hers once again.

“Spike,” she breathed against him. “Oh God.” His other hand moved up her inner thigh, torturing her, making her squirm against him, which in turn, made him harden inside of his jeans. She draped a leg over his hip, pulling him closer. He moaned as she brushed against him, and a little growl escaped his throat.

“Dreamed about this for so long,” he murmured, pressing kisses to her neck and her throat. “The other night…was the best night of my life. Wanted it to last forever.” He smiled when she whimpered.

Her hands moved to his shoulders and down his strong arms. She wanted to touch him forever. She wanted to feel every inch of him pressed against her. But first she wanted to kiss him again.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, as he nipped at her earlobe. He drew back a little and smiled down at her.

“What’d you say, luv?”

“Kiss me,” she grinned, biting her lower lip as he went in for the kill. His lips brushed against hers softly, and when he felt her respond, he pulled back just a little before dipping in again, putting a little more pressure there. He could feel her starting to squirm again, and the way her body moved against his had him straining rock hard against his fly. If only he could just… “Spike!” Her frustrations sent a thrill through his body, and he finally slipped his tongue between her eager lips and felt the sweet warmth of her tongue against his own.

The feel of his hands running up and down her ribcage sent sparks to her core, and she moaned into his mouth, urging him to keep touching her. Boldly, her hand moved between them, stroking the bulge in his jeans, and he broke their kiss, practically hissing at the contact.

His eyes were wide, and his lips were swollen from kissing her. She moved her hand away and stared up at him, wondering if she’d done something wrong. He hadn’t minded the other night…

“Spike?”

He said nothing. He just sat up on the bed a little, kneeling between her legs, and he brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles, her palm, her wrist, moving up her arm until she was clawing at him, bringing him back to her and kissing him with renewed passion.

But just as her hands were bringing his shirt up his finely-toned back, a knock came to her door.

“Shit!” Buffy hissed under her breath.

“Buffy?”

“Mom?!” She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, praying her mother wouldn’t come walking in. Spike was already scrambling off of her. He hurried over to Buffy’s desk, turned on her computer, and she sat up, raking her fingers through her hair.

And then the door opened. Buffy tried to hide the horror on her face, and Spike prayed that the computer wouldn’t take too damned long to load.

“Hi honey,” Joyce greeted her with a warm smile. “Oh! Spike.”

“Mrs. Summers,” Spike said with a nod.

“Mom!” She cleared her throat, trying not to sound too frantic. “I thought you were working late today.”

“I finished early for once. I thought about going out for dinner. Spike, would you like to join us?” Spike swallowed hard, and Buffy gave him a little nod.

“Um, sure. I…I’d like that.”

“That is, if you two have finished your homework.”

“Was just about to help Buffy with her…uh, chemistry,” Spike offered, oblivious to the glare Buffy shot him from her bed.

“Alright, well we’ll leave in about a half hour, so you two finish up here. I’m going to take a nice, long shower and wash the work off.” She laughed a little at her own words and walked out of the room, leaving Buffy and Spike alone together, staring at each other from across the room.

“Oh my God,” Buffy blurted out.

“Close call, eh pet?”

“Too close. I didn’t know she was…oh God.” She hurried over to her door and shut it. When she turned around, Spike was there, and in a moment, his lips were on hers again. She responded in kind for a moment, but soon she was pushing him away.

“Sorry,” he murmured.

“Me too. I just…” Her eyes were drawn to his mouth, and she had to bite her lip to keep from kissing him. “Wow.”’

“What?”

“You’re just…a really good kisser.”

“Didn’t figure that out the other night?” he grinned, caressing her cheek.

“Well, I was a little drunk. It’s…it’s different doing this totally sober, you know?” She blushed like a virgin, and Spike leaned in to kiss her softly.

“Yeah. But this time it’ll be better. No secrets, right pet?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “No secrets.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his chest. Maybe this was going to turn out better than she’d ever imagined.

***

Because of Buffy and Spike’s amazing friendship, neither Spike nor Buffy had any doubts about how Joyce might feel about them dating. Still, the fact that her parents had just split up didn’t exactly make Buffy want to talk about her new boyfriend with her mother.

Dinner went well, which surprised Buffy. She’d thought it would be uncomfortable and awkward, especially with the avoidance of mentioning her father. But having Spike there had been a bit of a comfort. He would hold her hand under the table or gently squeeze her knee if he sensed her getting a little anxious while Joyce prattled on about work.

“Listen to me,” Joyce laughed, “I guess it’s been a busy few days at work. What have the two of you been up to?” Buffy and Spike shared a quick glance.

“Uh,” Buffy said quietly, praying that the words ‘amazing sex’ didn’t leave her lips in the next few moments, “just hanging out, you know? Doing stuff for school.”

“That’s nice,” Joyce said with a smile. “How’s the new year treating you, Spike?”

“Not so bad, Mrs. Summers,” he said quietly. “Grades are ok so far, and me and Buffy are helping each other with the hard stuff.” Buffy nearly choked on her water, but Joyce didn’t seem to notice.

“It’s good you two are so close. It must be nice to be able to call someone up at a moment’s notice and get homework help. When I was your age, well, I wasn’t allowed near the phone until all of my homework was done, and my mother had double checked it twice.” She shook her head. “Are there any special girls that’ve caught your eye?”

“Mom,” Buffy groaned.

“What, honey? Spike’s like a son to me. I’ve given up trying to get anything out of you when it comes to talking about boys.” Buffy felt her stomach twisting up tighter. “How about it, Spike? Any special young lady?”

Spike could feel Buffy’s hand sweating in his under the table, and he smiled kindly at Joyce.

“There might be someone.”

“Oh really? Do I know her? It’s not that Drusilla girl again, is it?”

“No!” Buffy scoffed getting surprised stares from both Spike and her mother. “I mean…I didn’t think you were still interested in her.”

“I’m not,” he said with a little grin in her direction. “Dru and I are history.”

“I can’t say I’m not relieved. I never thought she cared for you the way you deserved, Spike. You’re such a good kid, and you deserve somebody very special.”

“Thanks,” Spike said with a little nod.

“Maybe all this talk about relationships will rub off on my stubborn daughter here.” Buffy rolled her eyes at that. “Oh, Buffy. You’ve not really dated much at all, and as much as I want to know my daughter’s safe and sound, I want to know she’s happy. You are happy, aren’t you?”

“I’m happy, Mom. Spike’s all the man I need right now.” Did she really just say that?

“Yes, well, pretty soon you’ll be starting college and meeting new people. You won’t have as much time to spend with each other, and you’re going to meet new people.” Joyce sighed and waved her hand. “You know, I’m sorry. I guess I never had as good a friend as the two of you have in each other.”

“Mom,” Buffy said slowly, “can we not talk about this right now?” Joyce gave her a little smile and nodded. But that smile soon disappeared, and Joyce’s gaze shifted to somewhere over Buffy’s shoulder. Buffy turned in her chair to see her father coming in with Lydia, his secretary. Joining them was Lydia’s five-year-old daughter who was all smiles and pigtails. Buffy bit back the jealous twinge that made her want to cry. She turned back to her mother. “You know, I’m full. I think we should call it a night.” Joyce shook her head.

“No, that’s ok. I should be going. Why don’t you go talk to your father, and…” She started gathering her purse and pulling out money for the bill. Buffy put her hand over her mother’s.

“Mom, we came here as a family.” She gave Spike’s hand a squeeze under the table. “And we’re leaving as one.” Buffy let go of Spike’s hand and stood up. He stood too, and the three of them went up to the front, paid the bill, and headed out to the car. Before Buffy walked out of the restaurant, she turned and made eye contact with her father, who looked as surprised to see Buffy as she was hurt to see him.

***

“Ok, I’m going to bed. You two don’t stay up too late. School in the morning,” Joyce yawned, making her way up the stairs.

“Night, Mom.”

“Night, Mrs. Summers.”

After dinner, Buffy, Spike, and Joyce had returned to the Summers’ home, popped in a movie, and now that it was dark, Joyce was ready for bed. However, sleep wasn’t on either Spike nor Buffy’s mind. So, they waited until her footsteps were clearly coming from upstairs, and when her bedroom door shut, Spike pounced and tackled Buffy to the couch. She couldn’t help but yelp as he crawled over her, attacking her with kisses that she eagerly accepted and returned in favor.

“Wait,” she giggled, gasping for breath and pushing on his chest. “Wait!”

“Sorry,” he snickered. “Been wanting to do that all bloody night.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Me too.” He leaned down and kissed her again, and she moaned softly when his hand caressed her thigh. She placed her hand over his, and he pulled back.

“Something wrong?”

“No,” she said quietly. But the frown on her face told Spike otherwise.

“S’about your dad, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she grumbled. Spike sat up, and Buffy sat up next to him. She leaned against the armrest of the couch, and he pulled her feet into his lap. “It sucks. It’s not fair. He should be wallowing in misery. Not taking Miss Ho Bag 2008 and her kid to dinner.”

“I thought Dru was Miss Ho Bag 2008.”

“She was runner up,” Buffy offered. Spike smirked. “It’s not fair. He’s such an asshole.”

“He’s still your dad, pet.”

“Yeah. He’s just playing dad to somebody else, I guess.”

“I’m sorry, luv.”

“I wish he’d move away. Just…leave Sunnydale. If he’d just go to L.A. or something…”

“You really want that?”

“I don’t know,” she frowned. “I just…”

“C’mere, luv.” He pulled her over so that she now lay with her head in his lap facing the TV. “When my dad and step mum got divorced, I thought things would be ok. No more fighting. ‘Course, my step mum decided she didn’t want anything to do with me, even though she helped raise me since my real mum died. Thought something was wrong with me. That I wasn’t good enough. ‘Course, I found out she’d been shagging two guys from her office, so I figured she didn’t much care about being part of a family.” Spike shrugged. “Your dad loves you. He’s not like that.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see.” Buffy frowned and sat up, staring at Spike.

“I totally ruined the mood, didn’t I?”

“No worries, luv. It’s getting late.” He stood up, and Buffy followed him to the door. He pulled her in close, kissing her and rubbing slow, soothing circles on her back before slowly sliding his hand down to cup her ass. She blushed and kissed him again. “I wanna take you out.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll tell Xander to find another friend to take Faith out. I wanna go to the Bronze with you.”

“We always go to the Bronze.”

“Yeah, but I wanna go with you. As your date.” Buffy chewed on her lower lip, but her green eyes sparkled with excitement. “Whaddya say? Buffy Summers, will you go out on a date with me Friday night?” She grinned and nodded excitedly.

“I’d love to!” She pulled her arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily, wanting to sneak him upstairs, or better yet, sneak out with him, but she knew that it would be best if they didn’t completely rush into it. Sure, the sex thing had already happened, but that didn’t mean that their next time together had to be so soon. The next time, they could make love knowing that it wouldn’t be their last time, knowing they could completely give into each other and not have to worry about the boundaries.

Knowing there would be a next time gave them time to anticipate, and Buffy could tell by the tingle she felt deep down that the anticipation was all a big part of what would make it so amazing.

Chapter 6

The next morning, Buffy and Spike sat outside the school in his car. Well, they weren’t so much sitting as they were groping each other and fighting the urge to breathe, wanting to stay as close to one another as they possibly could.

“Don’t wanna go to school today,” Buffy mumbled against Spike’s lips as she gripped the back of his head with one hand and ran her other over his upper thigh. Spike groaned, fighting the urge to throw her in the back seat and have his way with her right then and there. But when he heard snickering outside his tinted window, he pulled back.

“Me neither, pet, but we’d probably better go. Snyder’s got it in for the both of us.” It was true. Ever since homecoming freshman year when Buffy and Spike had ‘accidentally’ painted the school’s mascot, a pig, the school colors, Snyder had had it out for them. He hadn’t caught them, but he’d always suspected.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she muttered. She leaned in to kiss him once more, and Spike couldn’t help but trail his hand up her thigh, letting it disappear beneath her skirt. His fingers nearly brushed over her pink, cotton panties, but she giggled and brushed his hand away. “Play nice.”

“Sorry, luv. But now that I can touch you like this all the time, I don’t wanna stop.”

“Well, try,” she laughed, unable to resist one last kiss. Finally, she pulled herself together, straightened her hair, re-applied her lip gloss, prepared to open her car door. However, Spike had already beaten her to the chase. He smiled and waggled his eyebrows at her as he opened the door like a gentleman.

“Thank you, sir,” she giggled. He took her hand, pulled her out of the car, and handed her her book bag from the back seat. She reached over, smoothing back his slicked back hair that she’d managed to muss up a little. “There you go. All better.”

“Think it’s obvious?”

“I think so,” she laughed. She bent down to check herself in the side mirror, and when she brushed her hair aside, she was mortified to find a hickey. She gasped and turned to face her boyfriend. “Spike! Oh my God!”

“What?”

“Look! You…oh my God!” She covered her face with her hands. Spike realized what he’d done, and despite the fact that it kind of made him proud, he couldn’t help but wince.

“Sorry, luv,” he breathed. “I didn’t know I’d left a mark. Got anything to cover it?” Buffy shoved her purse at him to hold while she dug through it. Soon enough, she came up with a little white scarf that she normally tied in her hair. But today, it served another purpose. She tied it around her neck in a fashionable way and then turned to face him.

“Ok, how’s it look?”

“Gorgeous,” he murmured, looking her up and down. She rolled her eyes.

“Does the scarf look stupid?”

“Looks perfect, pet.” Buffy smiled and looked down at her feet. She was wearing heels. Not those tall, uncomfortable ones, but they did give her a couple extra inches in height. Her long, tanned legs disappeared under her baby blue skirt, which went with the white blouse she wore. She was pretty sure the white scarf was too much with the white shirt, but anything was better than the entire school seeing her hickey, or worse, her mother seeing it! Yeah, she was happy to be with Spike, but it was nobody’s business just how happy she was!

“Alright. Let’s go.” She and Spike headed for the front door. They glanced at each other, smiling nervously, and Spike’s fingers brushed against hers until they curled together, and they were holding hands.

They walked into the building hand-in-hand, nervously looking around but soon gaining their confidence in their oh-so-new coupling. Their lockers were on the same row, and Spike’s was first, so Buffy reluctantly let him go and went to her own. She felt like a new person, blushing and smiling at him as she struggled with her locker combination.

She’d just finished taking her books out of her locker when he came to her side, and out of the corner of her eye, Buffy could see people staring when Spike brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her cheek. She bit her lip nervously and looked up into his eyes.

“Sure you’re ready for this?”

“If you are,” Buffy grinned, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a peck on the lips. “You break it to Xander and Oz. I’ll break it to Cordy and Willow. Should be an interesting lunch today, hmm?” Spike chuckled and nodded a little.

“Right. I’ll see you later, luv.”

“Bye.” She giggled when he kissed her again, and then he was off to class. She sighed happily and leaned against her locker, watching him walk away. It was like those cheesy teen romance movies where the wind blows through the guy’s hair as he walked down the aisle. Only he was walking away, there was no wind, and his hair was slicked back. Still, her heart pitter-pattered at the sight of his ass in those jeans, and she felt like she might melt into a puddle right there on the floor.

“Uh, earth to Buffy!” Buffy snapped out of it to see Cordelia standing next to her with wide eyes.

“Oh, hey Cordelia. What’s up?” Buffy popped a piece of chewing gum into her mouth and smiled at her friend. Cordelia raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up? Somebody just ran by exclaiming that Buffy and Spike are making out, and I had to come see! Is it true? Did you guys…” Buffy couldn’t help the smile that beamed across her face. She nodded excitedly. Cordelia’s grin widened.

“I need details, girl! C’mon, you can tell me in home room.” She grabbed Buffy by the hand and dragged her down the hall toward their classroom.

***

“So you’re dating now?” Willow asked, leaning forward with her eyes widened in curiosity.

“Yeah,” Buffy grinned. “I talked to Xander yesterday, and he made me realize that I had to tell Spike. Well, he pretty much told me that if I didn’t tell Spike how I felt, he would tell him for me, and I didn’t want that. But anyway, long story short, Spike and I are dating.”

“Is it weird?” Willow wondered.

“Of course it’s not weird. They’ve already had sex.”

“Shh! Cordy, geez!” Buffy hissed. “That’s not something I want the whole school to know, especially since we were drunk at the time.”

“So you haven’t slept with him again?”

“No! We’re trying not to rush things. It’s a little difficult…you know, knowing what we know…having done what we’ve done.” Buffy blushed.

“This is so exciting!” Willow gushed. “You and Spike!”

“I know. It’s…it’s really new,” Buffy breathed. “But I’m totally excited about it. I mean, I get to do all these new things with my best friend. No offense ladies. “

“None taken,” Cordelia said with a smirk. “You know, Willow, I’ve seen the way Oz looks at you. Maybe you and he could hook up, and the four of you could double date.”

“What? Me and Oz?!” Willow’s eyes widened. “I couldn’t…no. We’re just friends…we’re just…”

“Gee, Buffy,” Cordelia laughed, “somebody sounds a lot like you twenty-four-hours ago.”

“It’s not…I’m not…you know I suck at talking to boys,” Willow frowned.

“But he’s your friend.”

“Exactly! It’d be even more humiliating.” Willow frowned. “But I’m happy for you and Spike, Buffy. Really.”

“We’re going out Friday night,” Buffy explained.

“Bronzing it?” Cordelia wondered.

“Uh-huh.”

“You think Druidzilla will be there?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Buffy shrugged and chewed the end of her pencil. “I don’t care if she is or not. Her and Spike are over. It’s none of her business.”

“She’s gonna freak, you know?” Cordelia pointed out.

“So?”

“Dru is a badass. She’s a bitch, and when she finds out that you’re all over her man, she’s gonna be coming after you.” Buffy frowned at Cordelia’s words.

“Spike’s not her man. He’s…he’s not interested in her anymore.”

“Maybe not, but Dru knows how to play dirty. I’m just saying, watch your back.”

“Don’t worry,” Willow said softly. “If she says anything bad about you, we’ll…” Buffy cocked her eyebrow.

“Do what, Wil?”

“I don’t know. Shoot her dirty looks?”

“Ugh. You know what? I’m not gonna worry about it. I’m gonna enjoy this, because it’s the first time I’ve actually felt…you know, completely happy with a guy. He’s the only one that’s ever made my heart pound just by smiling at me.” Buffy eyed her friends who were lost in their own daydreams. “Anyway, just so you know, there might be more PDA than you’d care to see at lunch today.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Cordelia snorted.

“You know what’d be better than me and Oz?” Willow asked Cordelia.

“What?”

“You and Xander.”

“Please! Like I’d ever date him. He’s…”

“Totally seeing Anya Jenkins.”

“Oh,” Cordelia said, looking slightly disappointed. “Well, I don’t care, ‘cause I’m not interested anyway.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned in her seat. Buffy and Willow shared a ‘yeah right’ look and rolled their eyes. This was going to be one very long day, and Buffy just couldn’t wait to see Spike again.

***

After home room, Buffy had stopped by the bathroom to brush her hair and re-apply her lip gloss, but when she heard sniffling and sobbing heading toward the bathroom, she ducked into a stall. It wasn’t long before she recognized the voices that had just entered the bathroom.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s why Angel dumped me!”

“Oh, Dru, I’m so sorry. It’s…it’s his, right?”

“Are you really this stupid, Harmony? He dumped me because it’s William’s!” Buffy felt her stomach drop at the mention of Spike’s name on Drusilla’s tongue. “The night we broke up?”

“But that was like four months ago,” Harmony said slowly. “You didn’t know before?”

“I knew. I just…I didn’t want to say anything to make Angel leave. Now he’s gone, and William…”

“Are you gonna tell him?” A loud sob escaped Dru’s lips, and Buffy closed her eyes tightly, praying this was all a dream. “I mean, he’s with that loser Buffy Summers now. I know they’re like, best friends or whatever, but if he knows you’re having his baby, he’ll totally dump her and come back to you.”

“William doesn’t care about me,” Dru sobbed. “All he ever cared about was his precious Buffy. You know…he even called her name when he was making love to me.”

“Dru, I’m so sorry. You know, I can totally talk to my dad, and he might pay for you to…you know. You can’t have a baby. You’re in high school. I mean, a kid’s totally a lifelong thing. You can never go out again. You’ll have to like, be a mom.”

Buffy groaned inwardly at the words coming out of the dumb blonde’s mouth. Was she really saying those words?

“I don’t know what to do. But he can’t find out. If he knew…”

“If he knew, he’d come back to you, Dru. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” Dru sniffled, and she must have nodded, because Harmony continued. “Then tell him. Ok? Just…just tell him.” And then the sniffling stopped, and Buffy was left alone in the bathroom with the biggest secret she’d ever heard in her entire life. Her best friend…her boyfriend was going to be a father, and Drusilla would forever be a part of their lives.

***

“Wake up!” Cordelia exclaimed, nudging Buffy. “You totally slept through the last half of the notes. What’s up with you?” Buffy turned in her seat to look at Cordelia. Her heart was pounding, and she wasn’t exactly sure what had happened.

“Cordelia?”

“I’ll type them up and e-mail them to you later. What the hell happened. You said something about a baby. Oh God. You’re not pregnant are you?”

“What?! No!” Buffy realized that it had all been a dream. She was still sitting in first period, and she hadn’t visited the bathroom or heard Drusilla and Harmony discussing a pregnancy. Spike wasn’t going to be a father, and everything was good again. Still, what a hell of a dream.

“Are you ok, Buffy?” Willow asked quietly, as the girls made their way out into the hall and toward their next class.

“Yeah. I’m just…I had a weird dream. It was…I don’t know.”

“Oh, well, this’ll cheer you up,” Cordelia announced, nodding toward the end of the hall, where Spike was making his way over. Buffy’s face brightened, and she hurried over to hug him.

“How was class, luv?”

“Must’ve been boring,” Cordelia said as she and Willow walked over. “She fell asleep. She was talking about babies.”

“Cordy!” Buffy hissed. Spike chuckled.

“That right?”

“No. It was a nightmare that I hope I never, ever have again.” Spike squeezed her shoulder.

“Gotta be off to the gym. Talk to you later, pet.” He gave her a soft kiss, eliciting a few whoops and catcalls from their fellow seniors. Buffy blushed in embarrassment, but she couldn’t hide her smile.

“Thanks. I needed that,” she murmured.

“See you later, luv.” And he was off again. Buffy sighed and turned to Cordelia and Willow.

“So, what were you dreaming about?” the red-head asked. Buffy rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“You really don’t wanna know.” As they turned and headed away, Drusilla Lewis, who’d seen the entire display of affection slammed her locker door shut and went to join her group of friends to talk about the brand spanking news of Buffy Summers and William ‘Spike’ Pratt being the senior class’s newest ‘it’ couple.

***

“If it isn’t the Pratt’s,” Xander joked, sitting down at the large table where the majority of his friends were already seated.

“Funny,” Spike smirked, punching Xander in the shoulder.

“Ow. Easy, man.”

“Didn’t hit you that hard, you girl.”

“Boys,” Cordelia groaned.

“Sorry, no rough-housing in front of the ladies, right?” Xander asked.

“Shut up and eat your peanut butter and jelly, Harris,” Spike laughed. “Did your mommy cut the crusts off?”

“As a matter of fact, she did. And she put in an extra Twinkie? Want?” Xander held the yellow snack cake out to Spike who shrugged and accepted it. He popped it into his mouth and draped his arm around Buffy. She made a grossed-out face at him for stuffing the entire thing in his mouth, but she couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him, licking off the bit of cream on the side of his mouth.

“Whoa, too much PDA,” Cordelia spoke up.

“I warned you,” Buffy shrugged. She smiled when Oz came walking over, tray in hand. Her gaze immediately fell to Willow, who was scooting over to make room at the table. “Hey Oz. Dingoes are playing at The Bronze on Friday, right?”

“We’re still on as far as I know.”

“Good. Play a slow one just for us, ‘kay?” Buffy asked, grinning at Spike and loving that she felt so comfortable and not as awkward as she’d felt with Riley.

“So when can we expect babies?” Cordelia wondered. Buffy’s eyes widened, and her cheeks blushed crimson.

“Cordy!”

“What?”

“What the Hell? We’re in high school.”

“Sorry, I guess dating older, college guys makes me think further ahead.” She spared a glance at Xander, who didn’t seem to notice or care. Instead, he dipped his pizza in ranch dressing and began to devour it.

“Don’t scare her off, Chase,” Spike laughed. “Just got her all to myself. Don’t wanna share her with anybody ‘til we’re at least thirty, right pet?”

“Uh,” Buffy choked out, “did I just enter bizarro world?”

“Oh, come on,” Cordelia explained, looking to Willow for agreement, “you’ve been best friends forever. Yeah, you just started dating, but it’s not like, you know, brand new. You know everything about each other. You’re going to get married some day. There’s no way you won’t. Babies are just a part of that. You know, unless you decide to be non-traditional, but you know I want nieces and nephews. I’ve got to be Aunt Cordy, or I’ll die.”

“Cordelia, eat your salad,” Buffy warned.

“C’mon…”

“Just…don’t talk about babies,” Buffy muttered, stabbing her spoon into her chocolate pudding. She ate without looking back up at her friends. Spike gently squeezed her shoulder, but she wriggled away from him. “I’ll be back. Restroom.” She got up and started to walk away. Willow and Cordelia looked at each other and started to get up to follow her, but Spike stood first.

“Let me handle this, yeah?”

***

“Buffy?” He caught her by the elbow just before she had the chance to duck into the ladies’ room.

“Spike, I need to…”

“What’s wrong? What they were saying? That was bloody stupid, Buffy. They’re just…immature.”

“Spike, it’s not that. I had a dream. I know it sounds stupid, but…I don’t know, it freaked me out.”

“What kind’ve dream?” Buffy sighed and leaned against the wall and shook her head.

“Dru was pregnant, and she was gonna use the baby to get you back.” Spike shook his head a little at Buffy’s explanation.

“That’s some dream.”

“Yeah,” she murmured. “It felt so real. It scared the hell out of me, Spike. I really thought I was gonna lose you.”

“There’s nothin’ to worry about, pet. You know me well enough to know I’d never leave you.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. “Before anything else, we’re best friends. I love you, Buffy.” He smiled a little and caressed her cheek. “And about Dru having a baby? If she was, it sure as hell wouldn’t be mine. Toward the end, sex wasn’t exactly a main pastime. Fighting and me trying to figure out what the bloody hell was going on behind my back was pretty much all that happened in that relationship.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re just worried, luv. You’re worried about something going wrong. I get that. I do. Your dad just left. This thing with us? It’s new. But it’s not going away. I swear, Buffy.” She smiled a little and wiped away a stray tear.

“I believe you. I just…I guess all the talk at the table kinda got to me.”

“I’ll tell them to cut it out. Just…come back.”

“I will. I just wanna go blow my nose.”

“Alright. Just come back when you’re ready.”

“Thanks,” Buffy murmured, leaning in to kiss him once again. “You know you’re my hero, right?” Spike chuckled. She hadn’t called him that since they were fourteen and she had fallen trying to rollerblade. He’d carried her all the way back to her house from the park and had patched up her injured knee when nobody was home to help her.

He answered her with another kiss and left her so she could use the restroom.

When he returned to the lunch table, all eyes were on him.

“Is Buffy ok?” Willow wondered.

“Yeah. She’s just…some dream she had kinda freaked her out, is all.”

“Oh, the baby dream,” Cordelia said with a knowing nod.

“Just cut that talk out, ok, Cordy? Buffy’s dealing with a lot right now, and…”

“Ok. Ok! Enough said. I’m sorry.” Cordelia remained silent after that and went back to eating her salad. When Buffy returned a few minutes later, conversation had already turned to Oz’s gig a few nights ago, and everyone paid rapt attention, except for Buffy, who couldn’t help but notice Drusilla Lewis staring at her from across the cafeteria. All she could ask for was that the rest of the day went by quickly so she could go home and focus on something other than the crazy dream she’d had and all of the insecurities it had stirred up within her.

Chapter 7

The rest of the week went by well. Despite the whispers and nasty looks from some of Dru’s friends, Buffy hadn’t had to put up with anything at school. The sight of her and Spike holding hands or kissing in the halls was becoming a common thing, and the excitement of their new coupling was wearing off to those around them. To them, however, they couldn’t get enough of each other.

It was finally Friday night, and Buffy, Cordelia, and Willow were all gathered in Buffy’s room. Buffy had tried on just about every outfit in her closet, wanting to look perfect for her first official date with Spike, who had been keeping himself busy with plans for their first date.

He’d be gone for hours at a time, and then he’d pop up at her house, only to tell her she was going to have to wait for their date to find out what he had up his sleeve. Well, tonight was the night, and she was having trouble containing her excitement, though at the moment, clothes were her biggest issue.

“How about this one?” Cordelia suggested, coming out of Buffy’s closet with a silver, shimmery halter top and a black mini-skirt. Willow’s jaw dropped, and Buffy’s eyes bulged.

“No way,” Buffy laughed.

“Well, it’s in your closet. I assume you bought it for a good reason.”

“Yeah, but I chickened out when I…”

“Oh come on, Buffy,” Cordelia urged. “You’ll look hot. I promise.”

“It’s not too…you know, flashy?”

“I think it’s great, Buff,” Willow offered, looking down at her own outfit with was comprised of a knee-length khaki skirt and a fuzzy, dark-blue sweater.

“I dunno. I’m not sure about the skirt.”

“Then wear these,” Cordelia offered, shoving a pair of black leather pants Buffy’s way. “Whatever you wear, it’ll totally make him drool.” Buffy looked back and forth, trying to decide on whether she wanted to totally look like a slut in the leather mini skirt or look like an even bigger slut with the ass-hugging tight pants.

“I’ll wear the skirt,” Buffy finally muttered. She took the clothes into the bathroom to change again, and Cordelia turned to Willow.

“Your turn.”

“Huh?”

“I know you’re totally into Oz.”

“What?”

“C’mon, Willow. He likes you too. But you’ve got to get out of your shell, girl. Now, let’s raid Buffy’s closet and see what would look good…”

“I can’t wear any of this stuff. We’re not the same size.”

“Close enough,” Cordelia said with a shrug.

“But these are Buffy’s things. Not mine.”

“Buffy! I’m stealing some of your clothes for Willow!”

“Ok!” Buffy called out. Cordelia beamed at her victory. Willow shook her head.

“No. No no no no no. I can’t. This is fine.”

“C’mon, Willow. Humor me. I never had sisters to play dress up with. Let’s just give it a try, and we’ll see what happens, ok?”

“Well…” Willow frowned and looked herself over in Buffy’s full-length mirror. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt. But I’m not promising I’ll show my face in public or anything.”

“Ok, fair enough. Now…” Cordelia turned back to Buffy’s closet. “It’s gotta be green. Ah! Yes! God bless the halter top.”

“What? No!” Willow’s eyes widened in horror when she found a shirt, similar to the style Buffy was putting on at the very moment. Only this was a little less revealing and would be less clingy in certain places.

“Oh yes.” Cordelia grinned and tossed the shirt at Willow, and she scavenged through the closet for a few more minutes before coming out with a pair of dark blue jeans. “Yep. Put these on too.”

“I’m gonna look awful, Cordelia,” Willow whined.

“Oh shut up. Put that on. Buffy and I will help you with your make up and your hair. You’re gonna make Oz forget how to play that guitar of his.”

“I don’t wanna do that. He’s…he’s so good, and…”

“You know what I mean,” Cordelia laughed. “Now go get changed.”

Apprehensively, Willow left the room for the bathroom down the hall, vowing to seek revenge on Cordelia if tonight went horribly wrong.

***

As much as Spike had wanted to pick Buffy up for their first official date, Buffy hadn’t exactly wanted to explain what was going on to her mother quite yet, so for all Joyce knew, this was a girls night out. So, after warning them several times to be careful and to be sensible, the girls made their way to the Bronze, which was packed, even for a Friday night.

The band was already playing, and the three made their way through the crowd. Xander, his date Anya, and Spike were already at a table, waiting for the rest of the group. Buffy chewed her lower lip nervously as she made her way through the crowed toward her boyfriend. She practically melted at the sight of him wearing those tight, dark pants, and a loose fitting shirt. He looked comfortable but as nervous as a guy on a first date with the woman of his dreams. Buffy couldn’t help but grin.

Willow had wedged herself between Cordelia and Buffy, trying not to stick out too much. Her long, red hair was pulled back in a loose twist, and her makeup was subtle but sexy. Cordelia had snapped a picture of her for proof that she could be something other than the plain Jane she insisted on being every single day at school.

“The guys are over there!” Cordelia hollered over the loud music. Buffy nodded, having already zeroed in on her honey. She smiled and pushed by Cordelia, rushing over to greet Spike with a hug. Spike looked absolutely awestruck when he pulled back.

“What?” she asked, leaning in so he could hear her.

“You look smashing, luv. Absolutely amazing.” Buffy beamed and leaned in to reward him with a kiss.

“Thanks. You look great too!” Spike pulled his arm around her and led her to the table. He offered her a seat, and she took it. He stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, and she shivered under his touch.

“Hey Buff! You remember Anya, right?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a nod. “Hey!”

“Hello!” Anya called. “Xander told me that you and Spike had sexual intercourse and decided to be a couple. I think that’s very romantic.”

“Anya!” Xander whined, seeing the horror in Buffy’s eyes. “Sorry, Buff. She does that some times.”

“It’s ok,” Buffy said, chuckling lightly.

“You thirsty, luv?” Spike wondered.

“I could go for a soda. Thanks.” She smiled at him, and he was off to get drinks.

Willow and Cordelia made it over to the table and sat down. Xander’s eyes practically bulged out of his sockets at the sight of Willow.

“Whoa…Willow! What…happened?” Willow’s face reddened, and she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to block her slightly exposed cleavage from his view.

“Cordelia,” Willow muttered.

“No, it looks great. I mean…” He looked over at Anya, who was clearly not amused. “How about a dance, baby?”

“That’s more like it,” Anya grinned, hopping up and taking him by the hand, leading him to the dance floor. Cordelia couldn’t help but scowl as she watched them.

“Thought you didn’t like him, Cordy,” Willow teased.

“I don’t! It’s just…that Anya doesn’t really seem like his type.”

“Yeah, and I bet his type is tall, brunette, and named Cordelia.”

“Shut up!” Cordelia exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “Oh, hey, I see Matt.”

“Matt?”

“I don’t know his last name, ok? He’s on the football team. Hey, Matt!” She hopped up to go over to him, but Willow grabbed her arm. “What’s the deal?”

“You can’t leave me alone looking like this!”

“What? Are you afraid a guy is going to see the hotness of you and come talk to you?”

“Well…not exactly, but yeah!”

“C’mon, Willow! We’re seniors. We’re supposed to have had dating experience before we go to college. Live a little! Matt!” And with that, Cordelia was off. Willow sighed, slumping her shoulders and praying that tonight would be over fast.

***

“Got a surprise for you, pet.”

“Really?” Buffy asked, as she and Spike made their way back to the table. “What kind of surprise?”

“Not telling.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Nope, not telling. You’ll have to wait and see. I just hope you won’t try to murder me after it’s all said and done.” Buffy’s eyes widened.

“Oh God. What did you do?”

“Nothing yet,” he grinned. “Just trust me, luv.” He grinned and squeezed her hand as they sat down with Willow.

“Where’d Cordy go?” Buffy wondered. Willow nodded across the room toward the bathrooms where Cordelia was currently shoved up against a wall with Matt Whatshisname’s tongue down her throat. “Well, hello Matt.”

“You don’t have to sit here with me. I know this is your first date and everything. Go dance. Have fun.” Willow gave them both a bold smile. “I’ll watch your drinks.”

“C’mon, Wil. Come dance with us.”

“Why don’t you girls dance? I need to see a man about a surprise anyway.”

“Surprise?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know. I’m scared,” Buffy giggled.

“Trust me, luv. Trust me.” He kissed her cheek and was off. Buffy shook her head and stood up, pulling Willow out of her seat.

“No, Buffy…”

“C’mon, Wil. We’ll get close to the stage so Oz can see your hotness!”

“That’s exactly where I don’t wanna be, Buffy. Please? Just…”

“Wil, you’re gorgeous. Seriously, did you not look at yourself in the mirror fifteen times before we left? I’ve seen heads turn tonight. Just have fun. Please? Don’t think about anything else except for the music.”

“Ok. Ok. One song,” Willow said with a frown. Buffy’s smile widened. “Good! Let’s go!” The girls broke through the crowd and began to dance to the upbeat tempo. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy spotted Dru slinking about in the corner, her cold gaze penetrating the smoky atmosphere, zeroing in on her least favorite person, Spike’s best friend and current girlfriend.

Buffy looked around, trying to spot Spike, but he’d disappeared into the crowd. She frowned and focused on dancing, because she knew that the rest of the night was sure to be amazing. Curiosity had bested her, and all she could think about was what Spike’s surprise was and how he was hoping she wouldn’t murder him.

Her stomach tightened into knots, especially when she looked back over to see that Dru was no longer lurking in the corner. Buffy chewed her bottom lip frantically, and Willow stopped dancing near her.

“Buffy? You ok?”

“Yeah. I’m just…I have to…” She started to turn and go off in search of Spike, but the music cut off, and Devon, the lead singer, tapped the mic.

“Can I have your attention?” The crowd slowly quieted, and Devon smiled, making a few girls in the crowd swoon. “I have a little announcement to make.” Buffy and Willow looked at one another, shrugged, and looked back at the stage. Oz was talking to somebody behind the curtain. “As you know, college is just around the corner for Oz and myself. Well, today I just found out I’ve been accepted to a great college out of state, and because of that, I have to leave the band.”

A round of groans and boos came up out of the crowd, but Devon held his hand up.

“We’ll be holding auditions this weekend right here from noon to three if anybody’s interested. Right now, we have a little surprise for you. One of the contenders for my spot would like to perform a little song he’s arranged for his best friend, his girlfriend, Buffy Summers.” Buffy’s face went bright red.

“Oh my God,” she breathed, when all eyes turned on her. Spike? Singing? She’d heard him sing before, but not like this. Not to her! Oh God.

“Buffy!” Willow grinned. So this was Spike’s big surprise for their first date. Wasn’t making a fool out of yourself and singing for a girl more like a twentieth date kind of thing?

Buffy’s heart pounded in her chest as Spike walked out on stage wearing those same tight, black jeans, only this time wearing a white wife beater, which he must have been wearing under his other shirt.

A bunch of girls in the crowd began to scream, and Buffy couldn’t believe that her boyfriend was up there, with a microphone in his hand, about to serenade her in front of about a quarter of their high school. She didn’t know whether to be mortified or if she should jump on stage and take him right then for the amazing, romantic gesture.

Spike winked at Buffy in the crowd, and she held her breath, amazed at how comfortable he looked up there. Still, she was terrified and thrilled at the same time. And then the music started. Oz was on the guitar, and for a split second, he looked down into the crowd and then back at his guitar, only to gaze back out at Willow, who was dancing next to a very nervous Buffy.

Willow’s eyes met Oz’s gaze, and she nearly ran and hid, but he gave her a little smile, which made her blush. She smiled back and looked away, nudging Buffy, who couldn’t tear her eyes off of Spike.

She had always been fond of his singing voice, but he’d never used it seriously. He would always belt out songs in the car in a very theatrical way. She couldn’t recall a time when she’d heard him sing as himself, but the moment his lips parted, she knew this was going to be much different than she was used to.

“Every day I take you
Dancing in the garden
You could be my woman
That would be fine
If you'd be my baby
I would drive you crazy
Every night and day
All of the time”

A few screams sounded, and Buffy felt like she was at a concert for a moment. Spike’s gaze met hers, and he gripped the microphone tighter in his hand. Buffy felt her knees shaking, and Willow clapped to the music along with the rest of the crowd.

Spike grinned down at his blushing date, hoping to God he wasn’t making the biggest idiot of himself. But he didn’t care, because it was Buffy, and he loved her, and he wanted to prove to her and to everyone else that there was no one else for him.

“Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes
Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes”

Buffy blushed brightly, feeling tingles moving throughout her body as his eyes bore into hers as he sang. The nerves began to wash away as the crowd cheered him on like some rock god. And she began to get into the music, feeling a little less like she was having a dream where she was naked in the middle of the cafeteria and everyone was staring. Now she felt like the only person in the room was Spike, and he was singing just for her.

“He’s good!” Willow cheered next to Buffy, who broke from her thoughts. She smiled, not taking her gaze off of him.

“He really is,” she breathed, swaying to the music. Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth for a moment, and Buffy could hear a few girls cry out. Honestly, Buffy wouldn’t have been surprised if they tried to rush the stage. God, he was so sexy up there! And he was all hers. That thought alone sparked the formation of a sticky pool between her legs.

“And when you take me
Into your garden
Let me kiss your blossom
And make it mine
I just wanna drink your
Sweet crystal clear water
And then help you turn it
Into wine”

Buffy felt as if she might explode. The way he stared at her with such intensity when he sang those words made her flash back to the night they slept together. God, she could still feel his kisses and his hands trailing down her back, pulling her closer as he plunged into her.

“God,” Cordelia breathed, breaking through the crowd to stand next to Spike. “I think somebody’s getting so lucky tonight!”

“Cordelia!” Willow laughed, glancing at Buffy, who was dancing and in her own little world, looking at her boyfriend completely owning the stage.

“I never knew he had it in him,” Cordelia admitted. “I mean, I didn’t think he’d be much of a singer. Buffy? Earth to Buffy!”

“I think Buffy’s checked out for the moment,” Willow pointed out behind Buffy’s back.

“Yeah, well, I can’t say that I blame her!”

“Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes
Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes”

And then he made a move. He ripped the microphone out of its stand and leapt off of the stage, causing a murmur to rise through the crowd. As the music continued, he made his way over to Buffy, who was now standing as still as a statue, eyes widening more with each step he took closer to her. And then he had his arm around her waist, and as the music continued to play, he smiled, leaning in to brush his lips against her ear.

“Surprised?”

“That doesn’t even begin to explain it,” she admitted.

“Not mad at me?”

“No,” she whispered, “but if this is your idea of a first date, I hope you realize you’ve raised my expectations for the next one.” Spike chuckled and brushed his lips against hers, while the crowd whooped and cheered.

“Good to know there’ll be a next one after this.” And then he sang again, his forehead pressed against hers, microphone to his lips, as if the rest of the crowd didn’t exist.

“And when you are sleeping
I can watch you breathin'
Murmur in the dark
And call my name
And when I join you
Underneath the blanket
I know I will never
Be the same”

Buffy grinned, and when he pulled away, he gave her hand a squeeze and hopped back up on the stage.

“I hope you know I officially hate you now,” Cordelia lied. “You suck.”

“Thanks,” Buffy laughed. Even if Cordelia wasn’t kidding, she wouldn’t have cared, because her boyfriend was amazing. Sure, she was a little embarrassed, but the fact that her best friend had gotten up in front of all of these people on their first date and sang a song to her to show how much she meant to him…well, she wasn’t sure there was anything more romantic than that.

“Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes
Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes”

Buffy saw Dru again. This time she wasn’t lurking in the shadows. She was standing in front of the crowd, peering up at Spike. But he didn’t seem to notice, because his eyes were on his girl.

“Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes
Look at me
Looking at you
Looking at me
Looking in your eyes”

The music played out to the end, and when the song stopped, Devon came back out, and the crowd cheered for Spike. It was like something out of some cheesy teen movie. He felt like a bloody hero, but the last thing he wanted to do was sing another song, when his girlfriend was looking at him like she was ready to rip his clothes off and ravage him right there on the stage.

He stepped off the stage, completely bypassing Drusilla, and he pulled his arm around Buffy’s waist, holding her close as the music began to play again.

“I think after that, a slow one’s in order for all the lovebirds out there,” Devon announced, as the couples coupled up.

Buffy pulled her arms around Spike’s neck, and his hands were on her hips as they swayed back and forth to the music. Willow departed the dance floor and didn’t notice the look of disappointed on Oz’s face when he looked over to not see her there.

“I can’t believe you,” Buffy whispered. “After all these years of knowing you, I never thought you’d do something like that.”

“Was scared out of my bloody skull,” he admitted, resting his forehead against hers again.

“Then why’d you do it?”

“Wanted to try something new. Seems like the week for that, eh?” Buffy smiled a little. “Hoped you wouldn’t hate me for putting you in the center of attention like that.”

“Normally, I’d be pretty pissed,” she admitted, “but God, you were so sexy up there.”

“Sexy, huh?”

“Oh my God,” she murmured, shaking her head. “All I could think about was how my boyfriend was the hottest thing to ever grace The Bronze’s stage. And…I can’t believe I just told you that.” She sighed. “I feel like it should feel weird to say these things to you. But it doesn’t.”

“I know the feeling,” he breathed. “Wouldn’t sing to a girl unless I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her.” Buffy’s heart pounded in her chest, and she suddenly felt the need to get out of there. But not without him.

She backed away from him, but her hands found his.

“Where we going?”

“Come on. I wanna thank you for the surprise.” Spike raised an eyebrow, and she giggled, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t get your hopes up, buster. I just…I wanna be alone with you right now.” That was all he needed to hear before he was practically dragging her out of the club herself. Buffy called out to Willow and Cordelia that she was leaving, and she was pretty sure they heard her, but if they didn’t, they’d get the picture eventually.

They rushed in silence to Spike’s car, and the moment they were inside, Spike had Buffy in his lap, her hands running over his muscled arms, her lips attacking his with kisses.

“God, you’re amazing,” he murmured. “Can’t get enough of you.”

“Mmm,” she moaned into his mouth, as his hands slid up the back of her top. She giggled when his fingertips tickled her. Buffy slid off of his lap and moved to her own seat. “Ok. Let’s go.”

“Your place or mine, luv?”

Without hesitation, Buffy blurted out, “Yours.”

Song Credit: "Looking at You" by James Marsters.

Chapter 8

The ride home would have been frightening if Buffy had been paying attention to Spike’s driving. It was a good thing no cops were around, because he was all over the road, trying to control himself as Buffy nibbled on his ear and suckled on his neck. God, that little mouth of hers could work wonders, and he couldn’t wait to get her home and put it to even better use.

“Buffy, luv,” he murmured, amazed that he was able to form words at this point. “You’d better stop before we end up causing a wreck.” Buffy giggled against his neck and after one more nibble on his ear, she moved to her own seat.

“Sorry,” she panted. “I don’t know what got into me.” But I know what I want to get into me, and it better happen soon.

“S’alright, pet.” He cleared his throat and stepped on the gas. They weren’t too far from Spike’s apartment building, and though they’d decided to take things slow, that was far from Buffy’s mind right now. Nobody had ever had an effect on her like the one he’d had on her tonight. It was like she was high on him. She’d never felt this way before, and every nerve ending on her body was on high alert, waiting for his touch.

He reached over and took her hand in his. She sighed softly, trembling as he ran his thumb over her knuckles.

Within minutes, Spike was pulling into his parking spot in front of his apartment building, and then he and Buffy were dragging each other up the steps to the door. The moment his key unlocked the door, they stepped inside, shut the world outside where it belonged, and then her back was pressing against the door as his hands cupped her face, and he kissed her with all the pent up desire he’d held in all night long.

“Spike,” she murmured, when her boyfriend broke away to shower her neck with kisses. “Oh God…” Her hands moved up his arms and settled on his broad shoulders, and when she felt like her legs might give out, she pushed him back a little. He questioned her with a gaze, but the lust in her eyes told him she wasn’t telling him no.

She was walking with him over to the couch, where in one swift motion, he scooped her up and plopped her down onto the cushions before moving over her, his body covering hers. She arched her back when his hand moved up her shirt, cupping a lace-covered breast in the palm of his hand. Her hips wiggled involuntarily, grinding against his erection.

“Bloody hell,” he murmured, giving her neck a firm but painless bite. The moan that escaped her soft, pink lips spurred him on. In the back of his mind, he knew they were supposed to be taking things slow, but when he came up for breath to remind his golden goddess of that very fact, she interrupted him by pulling him down to her for another kiss.

She bent one knee, letting his hips fall directly onto hers, and his hand moved up her thigh, disappearing under her skirt, brushing over her center through the fabric of her panties. She was soaking wet, he could tell, and when a squeak escaped her throat, he realized he was definitely doing something right.

“Oh God,” she murmured, as his fingers dipped inside to brush along her folds. Her hands clenched into fists, and she sucked in a sharp breath, pounding said fists into the cushions. “OhGodohGodohGod!” He looked up into her eyes, grinning at the way these simple touches made her react. “Spike…”

“This feels good, luv?”

“Keep…oh God. Keep doing that.” She arched her back, her hands moving down his shoulders, trying to hold onto something; anything, because she felt like she might combust.

“Come for me, Buffy,” he whispered, kissing her mouth once more, as his thumb circled her clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to make her cry out into his mouth as a flood of liquid coated his hand.

Her breathing was shaky, and her entire body trembled when he removed his hand from beneath her skirt.

Spike watched her curiously when she licked her lips and closed her eyes, coming down from the intense high he’d just introduced her to. Perhaps it was the insane amount of alcohol the other night, but she couldn’t remember it feeling this amazing, and he had barely even touched her yet.

“So amazing,” he purred against her neck. She smiled sleepily and pulled her arms around him. Despite the wonderful orgasm he’d just given her, her entire body felt like it was on fire. She needed him. To hell with waiting. She knew him. She trusted him. This was real, and this was what she needed.

“Spike,” she whispered, pushing up on him a little. He pulled back, gazing into her eyes. His gaze focused on her trembling mouth, but he forced himself to look into her sparkling eyes. “I don’t care.”

“What?”

“I don’t care about not rushing things,” she whispered. “I just…when I’m with you, it feels right. It’s not scary.” She brushed her hand against his cheek. “I look at you, and I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You couldn’t. Not ever.” She sighed softly, and Spike pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“Wouldn’t dream of hurting you. Know I’d have my best friend Buffy to answer to if I did.” Buffy grinned up at him. “It feels different with you. Like I can say anything.”

“You can,” she promised him. “I need you, Spike. I’ve never needed anybody like I need you. It was scary before, not knowing how to deal with it, but now…now I know this is what’s supposed to happen. We’re best friends for a reason. Because we’re the only two people in the world that knows exactly what the other one is thinking…most of the time.” Spike grinned down at her. “You know more about me than anybody does, because when I’m with you, I don’t have to hold back.”

“Buffy,” he whispered softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I should’ve said it the other day.” He swallowed hard. “I love you, Buffy.” She beamed up at him and pressed her lips against his.

“I love you too,” she whispered. “Now kiss me. Please, kiss me.” And he did. But within moments, he was pulling back, using all of the strength he had left in the parts of his body that weren’t begging to be touched, he bent down, scooped her up in his arms, and carried her into his bedroom.

The moment she was on the bed, she was scooting into the middle, kicking her shoes off as he tore his shirt over his head. She licked her lips, eyeing the beautiful body standing before her. She hadn’t really had the chance to fully appreciate him the other night. Now, she propped herself up on her elbows and watched as he worked with the button on his jeans.

Her mouth watered, wanting to taste him, wanting to do all sorts of wicked things that had only slipped into her thoughts in the middle of the night. And good God, he wasn’t wearing any underwear. He stood before the bed, completely exposed now, his cock completely hard, waiting to be touched or kissed or buried deep inside of her.

“Spike,” she murmured. She started to get up, but he was crawling over her in moments, his hands tugging at her top. She was panting now, and he’d barely touched her. But when his hands pulled her top off, one covered a perfect, round breast, while the other worked at unfastening the hook in the back.

She made herself busy by kissing his shoulder, biting there softly, making him groan and try to work faster.

The moment the clasp popped free, he tossed the garment aside and moved in, circling one firm, pink nipple with his tongue. She groaned, burying her fingers into his bright, blonde hair and arching into him, needing more of this wonderful feeling.

“Spike,” she groaned, leaning back against the pillows, as he sucked the rosy bud into his mouth. His other hand kneaded the other breast, rolling her nipple into a hardened little pebble. “Oh God…” She felt the moisture pooling between her legs again, and she writhed beneath him, feeling his cock rubbing against her through her skirt.

Her hips bucked involuntarily, and he nearly came right then. He left her for only a moment, moving off the bed so he could slide her skirt off of her. He leaned forward, nipping her hip with his teeth before sliding the lacy underwear down her smooth, sleek legs.

She stared up at him, chest heaving as she watched his nostrils flare, and his jaw tense. She spread her legs just a little, giving him a glorious view of her freshly shaved, glistening pussy.

“So fucking perfect,” he muttered before descending over her. He reached into his bedside table, extracted a condom, pulled it from its wrapper, and quickly put it on. Buffy closed her eyes, waiting for him, but when she didn’t feel him, she looked up to see his eyes staring into hers. “Look at me, luv. Keep your eyes on me.” She nodded slowly, and he slowly began to enter her.

Buffy fought the urge to squeeze her eyes shut at the feeling of him slowly stretching her, but his gaze never faltered from her eyes. She swallowed hard and watched the way his eyes began to roll back at the feeling of being surrounded by her.

Once he was fully seated inside of her, he began to move, drawing out a moan from deep within Buffy that he’d never heard before. He groaned softly, suckling upon her neck as he thrust in and out of her, feeling her slick walls milking him with each movement.

Buffy gasped for breath when Spike moved one hand between them, stroking her clit, causing her to shudder in response. Her hands gripped his forearms, and he buried his face against her chest, taking a nipple between his lips, making her squirm beneath him.

“Oh God!” she cried out, as he picked up the pace, gripping her hips to steady himself. He lifted up, bringing her legs around him, lifting her hips and thrusting into her at a new angle, hitting her sweet spot just right until she involuntarily convulsed, eyes rolling up and crying out as she came, her walls clamping down on him, triggering his own release.

“God I love you,” he murmured, as he collapsed against her in the middle of his bed.

***

“Sure you won’t come back with me tonight?” he asked as he held her hand in the car, not wanting her to get out and go up to the house.

“I want to. Believe me, I do,” she breathed, sliding her hands up his sculpted torso, wishing his shirt wasn’t in the way. “But Mom would freak if I didn’t come home.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Would walk you up to the porch, but she thinks you’re having a girl’s night, right?”

“Uh huh,” she said softly, kissing his nose and then biting his lower lip gently. “I’ll be sure to tell her I had lots of fun with the girls.”

“I did too,” he chuckled, brushing his fingertips over her breast. She giggled and swatted his hands away. “Oi! No fair.”

“If you keep doing that, we’re gonna get arrested for public indecency.”

“Right,” Spike grumbled. “You coming over tomorrow?”

“Where do I always spend my Saturdays? Of course I’m coming over.” She leaned in and kissed him softly. “We should go to the movies or something. You know…do the things we did as friends. We don’t always have to do this.”

“Yeah, but this part’s fun too.”

“I know,” she laughed. “I really have to go.”

“Call me before you go to sleep,” he urged. Buffy rolled her eyes but nodded, kissing him once again.

“Night.”

“Night, pet.” Buffy finally managed to escape Spike’s car and hurry up to the house, hoping her mother wouldn’t have too many in-depth questions about her night.

When she made it into the house, her legs still a bit wobbly, she was relieved to find that her mother had already gone up to bed. So, she quickly went upstairs, took a hot shower, and changed into her favorite night gown. It was just as she was about to crawl into bed and call Spike that the phone rang. She answered it quickly so she wouldn’t wake her mother.

“Hello?”

“Ok, so you missed a totally crazy night!”

“Hey, Cordelia,” Buffy said with a grin, knowing that whatever she missed out on couldn’t have been as amazingly awesome as her evening with Spike. “What’s up?”

“Oz totally asked out Willow.”

“No!” Buffy exclaimed. “Really?!”

“Yeah. Willow was ready to get the hell out of there after you left, but the band took a break, and Oz came over…and well, one thing lead to another, and they’ve got a date tomorrow night!”

“Oh my God!” Buffy gasped, trying not to be too loud. “That’s awesome. I’ll call her in the morning. How’d it go with Matt?”

“Who?”

“The guy who had your tongue down his throat all night.”

“Oh,” Cordelia muttered. “He disappeared with Harmony and Drusilla, you know, those girls.”

“Oh, you’re better off anyway.”

“So enough about me. How’d your date with Spike go?” Cordelia waited patiently for Buffy to speak, but the silence made her giggle. “You’re so bad, Buffy Summers.”

“What? What’d I do? I didn’t say anything.”

“It’s what you didn’t say. So…did you…”

“That’s none of your business!”

“C’mon. I’m the only one who went home without a prospective date tonight. Xander left with Anya, and his slutty cousin Faith showed up and ended up leaving with, get this, two guys from the baseball team. If that doesn’t make a girl wanna pig out on cookie dough, I don’t know what. So dish, please.”

“I can’t. He’s…he’s Spike. Telling you would be like telling you my best friend’s secrets. I can’t…”

“Oh come on, Buffy. I know you guys got it on tonight. I mean, if it’d been me he was singing to and staring at like that from the stage, I’d have had him naked before we got to the car.”

“Cordelia!”

“Well…if you don’t wanna listen to me, you better tell me what happened.”

“Fine. We just…we went back to his place.”

“And?”

“Can’t you figure it out from there?”

“Oh my God.”

“Don’t sound so surprised. It wasn’t the first time…”

“I know, but…it’s just…you two!”

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a little grin. “He told me he loves me?”

“Shut up! Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s awesome, Buffy. I’m happy for you. But you know, I’m totally gonna hate you behind your back, right?”

“I figured as much. I don’t care, because I have Spike, and he’s amazing.”

“Listen to you. You’re so smitten it’s not funny.”

“Smitten? What year is this?” Buffy laughed at Cordelia’s little snort, and she sighed. “Listen, Cordy, I’ve gotta call Spike. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok. I guess I don’t have to tell you to have sweet dreams.”

“Ok, shut up,” Buffy laughed. “G’night, Cordelia.”

“Night, slut.”

“I hate you,” Buffy teased.

“Bye, Buffy.”

“Bye,” she laughed, hanging up long enough to clear the line so she could call Spike before she fell asleep.

Chapter 9

“Morning, honey,” Joyce said with a bright smile, making her way into the kitchen. Buffy smiled at her mother’s sunny disposition this morning. “I was thinking of going to the salon today and getting my hair cut. Wanna come along?”

“Um, actually, I already kind’ve made plans with Spike.”

“Oh, alright. Have a good time.” Joyce smiled at her daughter and opened the refrigerator, retrieving the carton of orange juice. “Did you and the girls have fun last night?”

“Yeah. Uh, Oz asked Willow out.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Joyce said quietly. “I’m glad for her. She’s such a sweet girl.”

“Yeah. Wil’s great.” Buffy eyed her mother. “You’re in a good mood this morning.”

“You know, I was thinking the same thing about you. You’re all smiles.”

“I am?” Buffy brought her hand to her face, and Joyce chuckled.

“Did you meet a boy last night?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, you can’t tell me girl’s night is just about hanging out with the girls. I know it involves checking out the guys, right?”

“Mom…”

“I was young once too, sweetheart. I do know about these things.”

“Yeah, well, I prefer to think of my mother as never having done those things. In fact, I think it’d be better for everyone if I just assumed that I was immaculately conceived…or something like that.” Buffy shuddered at the thought of her parents ever having sex.

“Just wait. When you’re my age, you might have a daughter saying those very same things to you. It’s much different when you’re a mother.” Joyce eyed her daughter. “Which I hope will be a very, very long time from now.”

“Um…yeah, Mom,” Buffy said awkwardly. Joyce sipped on her orange juice, and Buffy cleared her throat, drumming her fingers on the countertop. “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“What if I told you there…there is a guy.”

“There is? I knew it!” Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at how her mother seemed so much like a teenager when it came to gossip like this.

“I’m just saying…hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically? Well, if it was true, I’d be very happy for you, but I’d warn you to be smart, and of course to not do anything I wouldn’t do.” Buffy rolled her eyes at that.

“Really, Mom? And what were you doing when you were almost eighteen?” Joyce’s eyes widened.

“Well, I was going to school and doing my homework like a good student.”

“Uh huh,” Buffy muttered.

“Well, I was.”

“I’m sure that’s not all, Mom. After all, you and Dad met around that time, and…”

“And we were smart. We were careful. Buffy, are you being careful?”

“Mom! I said ‘hypothetically!’”

“I know, but I know what that means. Is he good to you?”

Buffy sighed, nodding. “Yeah, Mom. He’s great.”

“Do I know him?”

“You’ve…you’ve seen him around. He’s really great.”

“Great? That’s all I get?”

“He’s good to me, Mom. It’s kind’ve new, but it’s…”

“Exciting?”

“Yeah,” Buffy grinned. “I’ve never felt like this before, you know? I just want to spend all my time with him, and…”

“But I thought you were spending all of your time with Spike lately.” At Buffy’s startled glance, Joyce’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh.”

“Mom?”

“You and Spike are…you and Spike?”

“Mom, it’s…well…I didn’t plan on telling you this way, but yeah, Spike and I are…we’re together.” Joyce nodded slowly and furrowed her eyebrows.

“For how long?”

“A…about a week. Really. We just decided that we both cared about each other, and…and we decided to give it a try. Mom, it’s really just…it’s been so nice.”

“Well, the two of you have been inseparable since we moved in, so I would imagine it’s very…familiar.” Joyce swallowed hard. “But honey, you have college next year, and…you’ll meet new people. Have you thought about what might happen if the two of you decide that being a couple doesn’t work out? You know that could hurt your friendship.”

“Mom, believe me,” Buffy explained, holding up a hand, “we’ve thought about it, a lot, and we decided that it’s better this way. Spike and I are too good of friends to let anything hurt that. Even if it didn’t work out…we’re not getting rid of each other.”

“You sound very…grown up about all of this.”

“Well, we’re trying to be, you know?”

“You certainly waited a long time. I could see it at least a year ago. The two of you…I was wondering when you’d finally open your eyes and realize that you liked each other.”

“Mom!”

“Well, I did. I didn’t want to meddle, because you’d have just rolled your eyes and said ‘oh, Mom,’ so I butted out.”

“Well, thanks. That was nice of you,” Buffy laughed. “But really, Spike and I are happy. He makes me happy.” Joyce nodded. “Please don’t freak out, Mom.”

“I’m not freaking out. I’m just…a little concerned now. Spike has his own apartment, and…”

“And he brings me home every night, and I sleep in my own bed. We’ve only been dating a week, Mom.”

“Ok, but now you know I’m going to worry.”

“Don’t, ok?”

“Just…Buffy, if you’re having sex with him…well, don’t tell me the specifics, please. Just…tell me you’re being safe.” Buffy didn’t know how to react. If she said yes, then her mother would know she was having sex, and if she refused to answer, her mother would know. All she could do was try and swallow to wet her suddenly dry throat, and she gave a miserable little nod.

She could practically see the wheels in her mother’s head turning. She was trying to figure out if her daughter was being sexually active, but at least she knew that if Buffy was having sex, she was being careful.

“Ok, well, I don’t know if…if that means you’re…having sex, but I do know that I think it’s best if we go to the doctor and get you on birth control…just in case.”

“Oh…ok,” Buffy said slowly. Joyce came over and placed her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, looking right into her eyes.

“You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too, Mom.”

“I just want you to know that. I want you to know you can talk to me about anything.” She brought Buffy into a hug, and Buffy hugged back, closing her eyes.

“I know, Mom. Thanks.” And then the doorbell sounded. They broke apart, and Buffy skirted over to the doorway. “That’s Spike. Um…I can have him come in. It might be kinda funny to see him freak out.”

“That’s ok, sweetheart,” Joyce said softly. “Bring him by for dinner. You two have fun today.” Buffy nodded and turned. “Oh! But not too much…I mean, I’m not saying you should…”

“Mom! I get it,” Buffy stammered awkwardly. Joyce winced and nodded.

“Sorry, I know. I’m backing off. Just…well, you’re a smart girl. You’ve always had a level head.” Was she saying this more to convince herself or to try to guilt Buffy into not having sex? Either way, Buffy wasn’t certain, but she gave her mom a little wave and headed out to greet Spike and start their day together.

***

“She knows?” he asked, as they drove down the street.

“She kinda figured it out. What was I supposed to do? Lie to her? That’d just make things more difficult later on down the line when she found out the truth.”

“How’d she take it.”

“Ok. She’s just afraid of…well, she’s just worried that we’re not being…safe. She’s putting me on birth control.” Spike eyed her. “I didn’t tell her we were having sex, but I think she kind’ve knows. I think she gets it.”

“Bloody hell. And she wants to have dinner tonight? At your house?”

“Yeah? But it’s ok, though. Mom loves you. I mean she said you’re like a son to her, remember?”

“Yeah, only I’m shagging her one and only daughter.”

“Well, let’s just not talk about the…shagging part, and we’ll be golden, ok?”

“Yeah,” Spike muttered. Buffy smiled a little and placed her hand on his tight. He placed his hand over hers, and their fingers curled together. “So where are we going, anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

“Oh, it’s a surprise, hmm?”

“Yep.”

“Well, we’ve already passed your road, and I know we’re not going to school, so…”

“You do know the meaning of the word ‘surprise’ don’t you?”

“Fine,” Buffy mumbled, slumping back in her seat. Spike chuckled, curling his tongue behind his teeth, a thing that he seemed to do more often these days; a thing that made her want to tear off her clothes and lay down at his mercy, begging him to do whatever the hell he wanted with that beautiful, beautiful mouth of his.

Soon enough, they were pulling up into the shaded area of the city park. Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise, and she glanced at Spike.

“Remember what happened the first time we came here?”

“Yeah,” Buffy laughed. “How could I forget? You thought it’d be a great idea to feed the ducks, and I’m the one that got bit by one.”

“Sorry about that, pet. Truly.”

“Yeah, well, I hope you don’t have that planned today, because I can think of other things I’d much rather be doing.”

“Women,” he muffled. “You try and do something nice…” She knew he was kidding, and she laughed when he moved across the seat to attack her mouth with soft kisses. “Love this mouth.”

“Mmm,” she murmured. “Me too. Yours, I mean.” He chuckled against her lips and pulled back.

He gathered a few things out of the back seat, and then they were off, looking for a perfect spot. Judging by the basket and the blanket Spike carried, they were going to have a picnic. Not exactly something teenagers did together often these days, but it was a sweet gesture. Buffy didn’t really care about the food in the basket, but she certainly cared about the hunk of man that just happened to be her boyfriend.

They found a spot just underneath a large tree, and Spike spread the blanket out. They settled down in the shade, and Buffy looked around. It was completely silent, save for the sound of water lapping against rocks somewhere nearby.

“Where is everyone?”

“Picked a good place, didn’t I?” He looked up at the tree, and Buffy followed his gaze. It was then that something familiar struck her attention.

“Oh my God!” she squealed. “How did you remember?” She stood, and Spike stood next to her. Buffy traced her finger along the jagged, carved letters. They’d rode their bikes to this very spot as kids, and Spike, having stolen his father’s pocket knife, had decided to make a pact with Buffy. They’d become blood brothers, or something of the sort, something their parents had been very upset about, resulting in long lectures about how dangerous and unsanitary that was. But, with the same knife they’d used to cut the tiniest of cuts on each other’s thumbs in order to mix their blood, Spike had carved:

S + B = BFF

“Best friends forever,” Buffy whispered, closing her eyes and thinking back to then. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“Same day the duck bit you, yeah?” Spike asked. Buffy giggled.

“Yeah. Feeding ducks, cutting each other, and carving trees? We were strange kids, you know that?”

“Yeah, well, we were strange together,” Spike offered with a shrug. Buffy grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, rewarding him with a kiss for bringing up those old memories.

“Thanks, Spike.” They settled back down on the blanket and began their little picnic. Spike had packed some of Buffy’s favorites, including homemade brownies, and Buffy was amazed at how great they tasted.

They talked about many things, nothing of any consequence, and just as they were finishing up and getting ready to leave, a loud yell from nearby startled them both. They peered across the park to find Angel O’Connor and Parker Abrams throwing around a football.

“Great,” Buffy muttered. “Come on. Let’s get out of here before they see us.”

“Don’t let them ruin our day, Buffy,” he warned.

“We’re almost done here, and I don’t exactly want to be reminded of your ex-girlfriend today. You should’ve seen her last night at The Bronze. She looked ready for bloody. I just…”

“Alright, pet,” he said softly, taking her hand. “We can go.” Hurriedly, they packed up and took everything back to the car. They were just about to head out when Angel’s voice carried over.

“Hey, Pratt!”

“Bloody hell,” Spike grumbled. “Get in the car, luv, I’ll be right back.”

“Spike…”

“Just stay here. I’ll just be a minute.” Buffy sighed and did as Spike told her to do. She watched as he walked across the lot to where the guys were playing football.

“What do you want, O’Connor?”

“Is that Buffy Summers you’re with?” Angel peered over at Spike’s car.

“That’s right.”

“So you’re still together?”

“Not much has changed in the past week.”

“Well, my buddy Parker here was interested, and I told him I’d ask.” Spike glanced at the other guy, recognizing him from the football team. Parker gave him quite the my-shit-doesn’t-stink grin, and Spike’s jaw twitched.

“Sorry, mate, but Buffy’s not that kind’ve girl.”

“Not what kind of girl?” Parker asked, quirking his eyebrow. “Not the kind of girl that goes from guy to guy, or…”

“No, she’s not the kind of girl that goes around with blokes like you that only want one thing.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, man?”

“It means that I’m pretty sure when I spoke to my friend Xander this morning that you were one of the guys that left with his cousin Faith Lehane last night.”

“So, what of it?” Parker wondered.

“What of it? You’re not Buffy’s type. Besides, she has someone. Me.”

“Yeah, like that’ll last,” Angel smirked. “You couldn’t keep Drusilla happy, so you decided to fuck the one person who you thought would be safe to get involved with. She’s your friend. You couldn’t do better than that?” Spike’s fists curled at his sides.

“There’s no better than Buffy, O’Connor. And as for keeping Drusilla happy, you’d have to be a sodding rocket scientist. You should know, you dated her.”

“She does have a few screws loose, but sex wasn’t the problem in our relationship if you know what I mean.” Angel and Parker shared smug grins and a couple of laughs.

“Whatever, O’Connor. My lady is waiting.” He turned to head back to the car, and then Angel opened his mouth once again.

“You know, if you get tired of her, I wouldn’t mind taking her for a ride. She looks like she’s got…stamina.” Without hesitation, Spike spun around, and his fist connected with the side of Angel’s face.

“Spike!” Buffy screeched from the car. But he didn’t seem to hear her. Angel, being about a foot taller and much wider in the chest area, had no problem barreling into Spike, who despite his strength, was more compact. That didn’t mean that when his fist connected with Angel’s gut, it didn’t pack a wallop.

Angel leaned forward, sputtering as he tried to catch his breath. However, Parker stepped in on behalf of his buddy and punched Spike square in the nose.

“Stop it!” Buffy screamed, just as Spike tossed Parker to the ground and punched him three or four times in the face. “Spike!” And then Angel was up, pissed from Spike’s low blow. He grabbed Spike around the neck, flinging him off of Parker and tossing him to the ground, delivering a swift kick to his stomach.

Spike groaned in pain, and Buffy finally made her way over, kneeling down in front of him.

“Good thing your slut girlfriend was here to save you, Pratt.” Buffy glared up at Angel, but the anger in Spike raged once again, and he threw himself off of the ground and at Angel, pushing him back into the dirt, rolling about, delivering and receiving punches as Buffy watched in horror.

“You ever say another word like that again about Buffy, and I’ll put you in the hospital, you got that, mate?” Angel was breathless and groaning as blood spurted from his nose. Spike stood up and moved over toward Buffy. “Goes for you too, Abrams. Get the hell away from us.”

Spike turned toward Buffy, and she frowned, gently touching his face. His nose was bleeding and she could tell he was going to have a black eye.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of here.” She wrapped her arm around him and helped him back to the car.

Chapter 10

“What the Hell happened back there?” Buffy wondered, tossing Spike an ice pack as she settled down on the couch next to him.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Spike.”

“Just…something he said just made me snap, and I wanted to shut him up.” He looked at her before applying the ice pack to his eye. “Really, it doesn’t matter.” Buffy sighed and nodded, deciding she really didn’t want to know what those assholes had said.

“You’re gonna be the talk of the school on Monday, that’s for sure, though I’m pretty sure Angel and Parker are in worse shape than you.”

“Yeah, well I don’t exactly want this getting around.”

“I won’t say anything,” Buffy assured him. She sighed and shook her head. “My mom’s gonna have questions, you know.”

“Yeah, well, maybe dinner isn’t such a good idea after all, hmm?”

“No, we’ll do dinner. I know my mother hates fighting, but she also hates it when people don’t stand up for what’s right. Whatever happened out there today, you did it for me, and she’ll understand that.” Spike grumbled something but continued to hold the ice pack to his head.

“Do you need anything?”

“Could use a couple aspirin.” Buffy nodded.

“Coming right up.” She headed into the bathroom and searched his medicine cabinet. A few minutes later, she returned to the living room. “You’re all out. I’ll go down the street to the drug store and get you some, ok?”

“You don’t have to, pet. It’s not that bad.”

“Hush. I’m gonna take care of you. It’s the least I could do after you so bravely defended my honor.” Spike grinned at her theatrics.

“Alright, luv.” She bent down to kiss him softly.

“I’ll see you in a few, ok?” Spike nodded, and Buffy headed off to the pharmacy.

***

When the door opened a few minutes later, Spike was sprawled out on the couch staring at the ceiling.

“That was fast, pet.”

“Hello, William.” Spike shot up on the couch and turned to see Dru standing in the doorway.

“What do you want, Dru?”

“I came to tell you that I still have some of your things.”

“I don’t want them. You can keep them, throw them out. I don’t give a damn. Now leave me alone.”

“Your relationship with her is a lie, sweet William.” He felt his nerves wearing thin. He hated when she got all cryptic.

“The only thing that’s a lie is whatever relationship we once had.”

“He broke my heart.”

“Pardon me for not feeling sorry for you, Dru. I don’t give a damn that he hurt you. In fact, I couldn’t be happier.” He saw the tears forming in her eyes. “All you did was use me and lie to me. We were never right for each other. I see that now. Move on, Dru. You certainly did when you jumped into Angel’s arms, didn’t you?”

“My Angel…promised to carry me away. Promised me shiny things, sweet things.” Spike thought briefly about asking her whether she was dropped on her head at birth, but the pounding in his own head was distracting him, and he winced. “He told me what he did to you.”

“Yeah, well, he got as good as he gave. Don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Is it worth it?”

“What?”

“Is it worth being with her with the rest of the world wants you apart?”

“We’re high schoolers, Dru. People could care less about who’s dating who. We’re not on Dawson’s bloody Creek, unless there are hidden cameras I don’t know anything about.”

“She isn’t right for you!”

“Sod off! You don’t know anything.”

“She doesn’t make you feel the way I did.” Spike stood slowly and made his way across the room. Dru backed herself against the door, trembling under Spike’s hard gaze.

“You’re right about that one. She doesn’t make me feel sick inside every time I look at her. You had your chance, Dru. We’re done. You hammered in that final nail when you picked Angel. And I’ve gotta say…it was the best decision you ever made. If it hadn’t been for you, I never would’ve let myself believe I could ever have something as good as I have now. So thank you, Dru. Thank you for being the little whore you are. Thank you for opening my eyes and giving me the chance to know the love of a good woman.”

“You don’t mean these things,” Dru whimpered.

“Oh, but I do.” He ran his fingertips down her cheek, a soft movement contrasting with the anger in his eyes. “You see, what we had, Dru? What we had was a sick little game. It was your own personal ego boost. We were never close. What we had was…”

“Passion, William.” Spike smirked at that.

“That’s what I thought too, until Buffy. What he had doesn’t even compare. Knowing somebody? Knowing them completely, inside and out? That’s what makes passion so magical. I don’t know you, Drusilla. I don’t want to know you. And I think deep down, I never really wanted you. You were just…” He looked right into her eyes, getting just a bit closer. “You were a convenient way to take my mind off of the one person I truly wanted.”

“Spike?” The front door opened and closed quickly behind Drusilla. “Spike, open the door.” Spike’s jaw clenched, and he motioned for Dru to get out of the way. She stepped aside, and Spike opened the door to see Buffy standing there.

“That was fast, luv.”

“Yeah, Cordelia saw me and gave me a ride.” She saw the apprehension in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not alone,” he muttered. Buffy cocked her head to the side.

“What?” Her eyes widened a little when Spike opened the door wider, revealing a smirking Dru. “Oh. I can come back.” He tried to read her expression, wondering if she was hurt or angry. All he wanted to do was explain.

“Won’t be necessary, pet. Dru was just leaving.”

“Think about what I said, William,” she purred, walking out the door, casting one last disapproving glance at Buffy. When Dru was gone, Buffy stepped inside awkwardly and handed Spike the little sack from the pharmacy.

“So, what’d she want?”

“Wanted to return some of my things. Told her I didn’t want them.”

“That’s all?”

“No, that’s not all.” He sat down next to her on the couch. “Think she’s lost a few more marbles since we spoke last.” He opened the pill bottle, took a couple aspirin in his hand and swallowed them quickly. “Wants us to break up, she does.”

“Of course she does,” Buffy muttered.

“She also said that I don’t feel the things I felt with her when I’m with you.” He saw Buffy’s breath hitch.

“What…what’d you tell her?”

“I told her she was right.”

“Oh.”

“No…not in a bad way, luv,” he assured her with a little smile. “I told her that I don’t feel sick every time I look at you.”

“I bet she loved that.”

“Not really,” he chuckled. “But I think I’ve gotten her off our backs. Don’t think she’ll be bothering us anymore.”

“Oh yeah? Then what was with the ‘think about what I said, William?’”

“Don’t worry about Dru, luv. She’s as crazy as crazy as a loon, but she’s not dangerous.”

“She’s a jealous teen girl. You know, many people underestimate us,” Buffy said with a slight smile. “You feeling any better?”

“Not yet.”

“I can leave you alone for a while.”

“That’d just make it worse,” he admitted. Buffy smiled, and she nodded.

“Alright. I’ll stay. But you’re not getting out of dinner with my mother tonight.”

“Didn’t think so,” he whispered, leaning back on the couch. Buffy stood up and bent down to kiss him softly. “I’ll go make something for lunch.” Spike cocked his eyebrow at her. “Shut up. I make awesome mac and cheese, and you know it.” She stuck her tongue out him, and before she flounced off to his little kitchen, she gave him a wink, and he smiled, grateful to have such an amazing woman in his life.

***

Buffy had fallen asleep on Spike’s bed, but when she heard the low murmur of his voice a few hours later, she got up and walked into the living room. Spike was just putting his cell phone down on the coffee table.

“Spike?”

“Hey,” she said with a half-smile. “Headache went away.”

“I’m glad,” she nodded. “Who was that?”

“That? That was Oz.”

“Oh,” Buffy said slowly, furrowing her brows. “What’d he want?”

“He was complaining about the auditions. Apparently the potential lead singers are turning out to have the star quality of the likes of those on The Best of the Worst of American Idol.”

“Oh,” Buffy giggled. “Sounds pretty bad.”

“Yeah. He asked if I wanted the job.” He turned to look at her, seeing her eyebrows shoot up. “I told him no, though, so it’s nothing to…”

“Why’d you tell him no?”

“I’m not a singer, Buffy,” Spike chuckled.

“Well, you were a pretty damn good one last night.” She watched as he got up to cross the room toward her. She gently placed her hand on the side of his face, examining his black eye. “Swelling’s gone down some, but you’re definitely gonna have a shiner Monday morning.”

“Lovely,” he muttered. “Anyway, the singing thing…I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“I saw you up there. You were having fun.”

“Yeah,” he said with a shrug, “but that was different. I was singing to you.” He watched her lips quirk up in a smile, and he moved his hands to her hips, bringing her closer.

“I love the way you sing. A lot of people did, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I thought some of those girls were gonna rush the stage.”

“You’re yanking my chain, Summers.”

“Nope. Not even a little bit.” She leaned in to kiss him. “I don’t think it’d be such a bad idea. Your dad still hasn’t made up his mind on how much he’s gonna give you to help you out when you start school. The way Oz talks, depending on the night, they can pick up a lot of cash at their gigs.”

“You really want me to do this, luv?”

“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but I know you like to sing. You don’t do it that much, but I know you do. I just think it might be nice for you to have some money saved up in case your dad flakes or something, you know?” She watched as the wheels began to turn in his head.

“Don’t think it’s something I’d wanna do forever.”

“No,” Buffy said softly, “but Oz is planning on going to school here in Sunnydale too, so it’s not like you’d be traveling out of town very much. You know, parties, other things like that. And I could be your groupie.” She watched him smirk at that.

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh. You know, I’d get naked and wait for you in your dressing room.”

“Yeah, because Dingoes Ate My Baby is dressing room material,” he chuckled. “More like, ‘you can get ready in the bathroom. Hope you don’t mind passing out fresh towels while you’re putting on your eyeliner.” Buffy giggled at that.

“It’s ok. There’s a lot of part time stuff around here. It was just a thought.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “I can always make you sing to me in private.”

“If the response is as good as it was last night, I’ll sing for you anytime, baby.”

“Baby?” she giggled. “I think I like ‘pet’ and ‘luv’ better.”

“C’mere,” he growled, as she wriggled out of his grasp.

“No! We can’t! You’re injured.”

“Not all of me is.”

“How can we be sure?” she asked, blocking the doorway to his bedroom as he stared at her like a starving animal.

“Guess I’ll just have to prove it to you,” he breathed before pouncing and tackling her to the bed, an act that was immediately followed by her squeals, quickly deafened by his kiss.

Chapter 11

The rest of the weekend flew by. Dinner with Buffy’s mother wasn’t as bad as Spike had thought. She’d been curious about the black eye, but when Buffy had explained what had happened, Joyce had commended Spike for standing up for her daughter, saying she wasn’t surprised, as they’d always had each other’s backs.

Joyce had also let Spike know that she was glad that Buffy had him, because these days, there weren’t a lot of guys who would do that for a girl. Spike had just nodded his head and thanks, and it was then that both Buffy and Spike knew that Joyce had given them her blessing.

Now it was Monday, and by lunch, everyone was talking about the fact that Spike, Angel, and Parker all looked like they’d been in a fight, and somehow, everyone had been able to piece together their own theories, and it was common knowledge that Angel and Parker were pretty good friends, so it had to have been two on one, and now all of the girls were looking at Spike like he was some sort of hero taking on the two football players like he had.

However, the bigger news in Buffy and Spike’s group of friends was that Willow and Oz were officially a thing. Every time she was asked about it, Willow’s cheeks would redden. But she was happy, and Buffy was thrilled for her friend. Oz, being the great guy he was, knew that Willow was uncomfortable talking about all of this with everyone, so he cleared his throat and turned to Spike.

“So, you thought anymore about the job?”

“I already told you I can’t,” Spike said quickly.

“What job?” Xander asked, crunching on a few French fries.

“Oz offered for Spike to be lead singer of the Dingoes,” Buffy explained.

“And you said no?” Xander wondered, wide-eyed. “Do you know how many girls would die to go out with you just for the simple fact that you’re in a band?” Buffy cleared her throat. “Oh. Right. No wonder.”

“Excuse me?” Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I can understand why you wouldn’t want Spike to…”

“I told him I thought he should do it. But he doesn’t want to, so I’m supporting him,” Buffy pointed out. The tension at the table grew thick enough to cut with a knife, so Spike cleared his throat.

“Just isn’t the right thing for me right now.”

“Well, I was gonna explain more to you if you accepted,” Oz pointed out. “We’d only be working on weekends until graduation. Then whenever we’re needed during the summer. As soon as fall classes start next year, we’ll be back to the weekends. It’s really flexible, man.” Spike seemed a little more interested that way. “We wouldn’t travel out of Sunnydale unless the pay’s good.” He looked at Willow and squeezed her hand under the lunch table. “Don’t exactly wanna travel far right now, myself.”

Spike and Buffy shared a little smile, knowing that very feeling.

“Look, why don’t you just say it?” Cordelia broke in. “You’ll be close enough that your girlfriends can come see the shows, and you won’t have to miss a single minute with each other.”

“Geez, Chase. Jealous, much?” Xander snickered.

“Shut up, doofus,” Cordelia growled, standing up and walking away. Xander furrowed his brows.

“Is it just me or are her putdowns getting weaker?”

“Whaddya say, man? The pay’s good,” Oz continued, turning back to Spike. Spike glanced at Buffy who gave him an ‘I’ll support you in whatever you decide’ look, and he looked back at Oz.

“Can I get back to you?”

“Just let me know by Friday night. Saturday at the latest, ok?”

“I can do that. Thanks.” And then the conversation was over. The couples coupled up, and Xander spotted Anya across the cafeteria.

“Well, I’ll let you lovebirds get to…lovebirding.” With that, Xander was off to see his girlfriend, completely oblivious to the glare targeted directly at him from across the cafeteria, courtesy of Cordelia Chase.

***

When Spike pulled onto Revello Drive that afternoon, both he and Buffy were surprised to see Hank’s car parked outside.

“Want me to come in?” he asked, pulling up behind the car.

“No, it’s ok. Um, I’ll call you when he leaves, ok?”

“Sure, luv,” he agreed. He leaned over and kissed her softly before she got out, gathered up her book bag, and headed bravely up the sidewalk to the front door. She could already hear fighting coming from inside. She thought for a moment about asking Spike to come in with her, but she decided against it. She didn’t want to have to involve him in this right now.

So, she turned and gave him a little wave before turning the doorknob and stepping inside. She closed the door loudly, and the fighting ceased. She put her book bag in the hall closet and headed back to the kitchen.

“Buffy?”

“Yeah, Mom, it’s me.” Buffy crossed her arms and walked into the kitchen. Her mother was doing the dishes, and her father was standing next to her, his arms crossed just like his daughter’s. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey sweetheart,” he offered.

“What are you doing here?” she asked again.

“Buffy,” Joyce warned.

“No, Mom. I wanna know. It’s been over a week, Dad. Forgot how to dial a phone? Or were you too busy with your new family to care about what you left behind?”

“Buffy, that’s not what happened, honey. I was giving you some time.”

“Time? Yeah, thanks, Dad. Just what I need when I find out my parents are getting divorced. Space. The absence of a parent.”

“Buffy, please,” Joyce begged. “Just…talk to you father. He has something he wants to tell you.” She could see the concern and the disapproval in Joyce’s eyes, but she could also tell that it was one of those moments in which she had to bite her tongue for her child’s sake.

“Why, Mom? You were just yelling at him. I could hear you from the front porch.”

“Buffy, why don’t we go sit down in the living room?” His tone was serious. It was that familiar tone she’d heard growing up, every time her father had something to tell her that might make her upset. Suddenly, she wasn’t the pissed off teen anymore. She was the worried little girl.

“Dad?”

“Just…please. Come with me.”

“O…ok.” Buffy swallowed hard, and she followed him into the living room. Once they were seated on the couch, Hank didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. “What’s up, Dad? You look…I don’t know, scared?”

“I guess I am, a little.”

“Ok. Why?”

“I’m leaving, Buffy. I’m moving to New York City.”

“What?!” Buffy asked, the part of her that had wished he’d go away suddenly dissolving.

“My company transferred me, and I’m leaving next month.”

“Dad…”

“And I want you to come with me.” Buffy’s eyes widened even more, and her jaw dropped. “Honey, I know it’s your senior year, and if you want, you can finish out your year here and the come to New York. There are lots of good schools, and I think you’d have a great time.”

“Dad, you want me to move? Away from Sunnydale? Away from Mom?” Away from Spike?!

“Sweetheart, I think it’d be a great opportunity for you.”

“And Lydia’s going? And her kid?”

“Buffy…Lydia’s not going with me. No.” She saw Hank’s gaze falter.

“I don’t wanna move, Dad. I wanna go to school here. I don’t want to leave my friends or…or leave Mom.”

“I know you feel closer to your mother right now, and I understand that. I haven’t gone about anything the right away during this divorce.”

“No, you really haven’t,” Buffy muttered.

“But I do love you. And I’m going to support you in whatever you choose. I’ve already set up an account for you, for when you go off to college. It’ll help you with expenses and things like that.”

“You…”

“Your mother put the information in a lock box upstairs, and she’s going to give it to you when you graduate.”

“You didn’t have to…”

“But, Buffy, just…think about it. Your Mother…she doesn’t want you to go, but she’s already told me that if you want to, she won’t stop you, because you do need to open yourself up to new experiences, new surroundings. New people.” Buffy shook her head, disbelieving what was actually happening.

“I don’t wanna leave, Dad. Maybe…maybe sometime I can come and visit, but no. No, I don’t wanna move. I wanna go to college here. I want to be with my friends.” Hank sighed softly.

“Your mom told me about you and Spike. I think it’s great that you’re dating. But he’s been your friend so long. If you just met some more people…maybe you’d realize that what this is with Spike is just…it…it feels safe.” Buffy stood up quickly.

“You don’t know anything about me and Spike.”

“I know that you’re scared and you’re vulnerable right now, with what your mother and I are going through, and you’re afraid to be alone.”

“Don’t even attempt this psychology crap on me, Dad. Just because your shrink tells you this stuff about me doesn’t mean it’s true.” She shook her head. “I’m not going.”

“Buffy, I…I need you to reconsider.”

“Why? Why should I even think about going anywhere with you?” She watched her father hang his head, take a deep breath, gather his courage, and look up into her eyes.

“Because I need your help.”

“My help?”

“Buffy…there’s a lot you don’t know about Lydia.”

“What’s any of this got to do with her except for the fact that you all of a sudden decided that you’d rather have sex with her than with Mom.”

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t…it wasn’t an all of a sudden situation.”

“What are you talking about?” Buffy slowly sat back down, fear creeping back in.

“Buffy…your mother knew for quite some time that I wasn’t…that…”

“That you were a lying cheat?”

“Ok, I deserved that.”

“Yeah, you sure did.”

“Buffy, hear me out.”

“Fine. Go on.”

“Buffy, I started seeing Lydia several years ago.” Buffy suddenly felt her heart hammering against her chest.

“How long ago?”

Hank frowned. “About six years ago,” he admitted. Buffy’s jaw tensed, and she looked away, uncertain if she could possibly feel worse than she did at this very moment. “Lydia’s daughter’s….”

“My sister.”

“Buffy…”

“You…you’re her dad, aren’t you?”

“Yes. But, Buffy…Lydia and I…we decided not to see each other anymore before she found out she was pregnant. I told her I wanted to be with you mom, and she accepted that. I just…this past year, I’ve started to…”

“I don’t wanna hear anymore,” Buffy muttered. “I just…I can’t.” She stood up and turned back to her father.

“Does Mom know? Does she know about…”

“About Dawn?” He watched her nod. “She knows. She…she knew.”

“What?!”

“She knew about Lydia back then. We were going to counseling. We didn’t want to scare you, so we kept our troubles a secret. When she decided to give me another chance…well, I just…I told her I’d break it off with Lydia. And I did. But then I found out about the baby, and I told your mother. She gave me a choice.” He stood up and placed his hands on his daughter’s shoulders. “I chose you and your mother, Buffy, because I knew that Lydia’s baby would be well taken care of.”

“And now?!”

“Now, Lydia’s gone.”

“What?”

“She…she left. She said it was my turn to take care of Dawn, Buffy. She left me with a five-year-old, and I...I just…I need you to meet her, Buffy.”

“No!” Buffy exclaimed. “You’re a liar. I’m just…I don’t want anything to do with you…or this…this freak show.” She held up her hands and shook her head, backing away from her father. “No.”

“Buffy…” Buffy turned to see her mother standing here, eyes filled with tears.

“You knew! You knew that he had another kid? And you didn’t tell me?”

“Buffy…we did what was best for you at the time. I didn’t know he was going to go back to her. I didn’t know, and…”

“You lied, too.” Buffy felt her tears beginning to fall. “I can’t…no.” She grabbed her bag out of the closet and headed to the door.

“Buffy, wait!” Joyce called.

“No! Just stay away from me!” And with that, she rushed out the door, slamming it behind her. She could hear her parents calling after her, but she ran fast, sprinting down the street. And they didn’t follow. She knew from past experiences that they were giving her time to cool off. But she didn’t want to see them. She wasn’t sure she ever would after this. It was bad enough that her parents’ seemingly perfect marriage had ended, but what was worse was that image, that nice, comfortable, happy image of the kind of life she wanted, before all of the pain and the cheating, that was a lie. Her life had been a lie for six years.

***

Spike was startled when he opened the door to see her standing there in a fit of tears, much like she’d been the night she’d found out of her parents’ divorce. Only the moment the door opened, she dropped her book bag in the doorway, and her shoulders slumped.

“Buffy?”

“Would it be ok…” she sniffled, “I mean…if you don’t mind…could I maybe…” She was borderline hyperventilating.

“Breathe, luv,” he whispered, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Look at me.” She blinked up at him, and he was a bleary shape thanks to her tears.

“Can I stay here for a while?” He blinked in surprise, and he felt her shoulders tremble in his hands.

“What happened?”

She only shook her head and began to sob aloud. He drew her into his arms and stroked her hair as she bunched his shirt in her hands.

“S’alright, kitten. You can stay for as long as you need.”

Chapter 12

“You should answer that, luv. They’re gonna freak out soon if you don’t.”

“I don’t wanna talk to them.”

“Please, luv. Don’t want them to worry.”

“Fine,” Buffy grumbled, picking up her cell phone and opening it up. “What?”

“Buffy? Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at Spike’s.”

“Honey, please come home. We need to talk about this.”

“No, Mom, we really don’t. At least not right now.”

“Buffy…”

“Look, I’m staying with Spike for a few days, and…”

“No, you’re not!”

“Yes, I am, Mom. He told me I can sleep in his bed, and…”

“Buffy!”

“He’s taking the couch, Mom,” she lied.

“I don’t like this, Buffy.”

“I don’t like that you lied to me for the past six years. I’m not ready to talk to you, but Spike’s bringing me by later to get a couple changes in clothes. I just can’t stay there right now, Mom. You have to give me some space, because I’m not ready to talk to you.”

“Buffy, I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. “Can you just make sure he’s gone when I get there?”

“He already left, hon. He’s worried about you.”

“Since when do you defend him?”

“I’m not defending anybody. I’m just…I didn’t know things would turn out like this.”

“And you couldn’t have mentioned anytime over the past week, when he went back to her, that I happen to have a little sister?”

“Buffy…”

“I can’t do this, Mom. Please just…I’ll come home in a few days. I just need space.”

“Please, Buffy…”

“I’ll be by later to get my things.” And she hung up. She turned to Spike with tears in her eyes. “How did my life get so screwed up without my knowledge?”

“C’mere,” he urged, pulling his arm around her so she could snuggle against him on the couch. “It seems bad right now, but give it some time. It’ll get better. I promise.”

“I don’t see how. My dad’s moving away…taking my sister with him. I don’t even know her. She’s…she sort of part of me, you know? And I don’t know her. I don’t think I want to know her either.” She buried her face against his chest. “Tell me I’m having a nightmare. Wake me up.” She felt him place a kiss upon the top of her head, and then she broke down once again.

***

By Thursday, Buffy was still staying at Spike’s. She had talked to her mother on the phone, and she was almost ready to have a sit-down chat with her, but she wasn’t quite ready to come home yet. Joyce, however, had been pressing the issue. She wanted to know where her daughter was and that she was safe, and while Buffy knew this, she also knew that if she were to go home, she’d only look around the place, realizing that her parents had kept a huge secret from her for so long, and this secret was going to affect her for the rest of her life, whether she wanted it to or not. She had an honest-to-goodness flesh and blood sister out there, and even if she never had anything to do with her, it still changed her. She had a sibling.

After school, instead of going back to Spike’s, they pulled up in front of Buffy’s house. Her mother wanted to talk to her about something in person, and Buffy decided that she’d go ahead and give it a try. Spike was going to wait outside, and if she felt the need to run, he’d be there as her get-away driver.

“Sure you don’t want me to go in?”

“I’ll be ok. Thanks.” She gave him a nervous half-smile and headed up to the house, where her mother was waiting for her on the porch.

“Hey honey.”

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Come on in.” Joyce gave Spike a little wave, and he waved back courteously. Despite the fact that he was supportive of his girlfriend, he knew Joyce cared about her daughter. Buffy was lucky to have a mother like her, even if she had kept something huge like having a sister from her.

“Look,” Buffy said quickly, sitting down on the couch in the living room, “if you wanna talk about Dad or the divorce or the sister I never knew I had, then I’m going to get up and leave right now.”

“No, no! That’s not why I called you. I’m just…I’m glad you stopped by.”

“I’m about two seconds from running through the door, Mom, so please tell me what you want to talk about.”

“I made an appointment for you with Dr. Bennett on Saturday.”

“What?”

“You’re staying with Spike….and…well, you didn’t argue with me when I suggested you going on birth control the other day. Dr. Bennett wants to do an exam and talk to you about your birth control options. Buffy, if you want me to go with you, I can. You’re on my insurance, so…”

“Yeah, ok,” Buffy said quietly.

“Sweetheart, I want you to come home.”

“I can’t, Mom.” She looked up at her mother, and both women had tears in their eyes. “I expected something like this from dad, but you? How could you not tell me?” She realized that she’d just told her mother she didn’t want to talk about this, but the elephant in the room was too distracting to not talk about.

“I wanted to. Believe me, I did, but I didn’t want to make things worse for you, but it seems that I have. I’m sorry, Buffy. When he told me that Lydia was pregnant, I wanted to deny it. But I couldn’t. He told me her parents were going to help her, and I thought that maybe…maybe he was telling me the truth.”

“But he kept her on as his secretary. How could you just…sit back and let that happen, Mom? Why didn’t you tell him to fire her or…”

“I don’t know, Buffy! I made some stupid decisions, ok? I’m not perfect. I’m just me. I wanted to do what was best for you, and I thought that the less drama the better, because if you found out…if your friends found out…I didn’t want to do that to you.” She watched her daughter blink away the tears.

“And you kept him around? Even knowing that he was going to have a baby with someone else?”

“As far as I know, Buffy, he didn’t have any contact with the baby until a couple of years ago.”

“A couple years? He’s been seeing his other kid for two years, and…”

“Buffy…”

“No! Mom, I just…”

“Please,” Joyce sobbed, “please just try to understand. I can’t expect you to forgive me, because I should have told you. I should have! But I’m asking you to try to understand that every choice I made these past six years were made thinking they were best for you. You were a happy kid, and I didn’t want to change that. Your father and I agreed that we’d keep it to ourselves, and one day we’d tell you, but…” Joyce took a deep breath. “Keeping that secret for him…it wasn’t easy, Buffy. There were times when I wondered why I was doing it. I wondered if he was really being faithful to me. And then he started seeing her again, and I was so angry, Buffy. But I didn’t want to hurt you. You and your father were so close, and I thought that if I said anything…Buffy, I’m so sorry.” Joyce buried her face in her hands, and this time, Buffy was the one apologizing.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I just…” She placed her hand on her mom’s shoulder, and Joyce looked up. “I just don’t…I don’t know how I can come back here, Mom. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just…I’m confused.”

“I know. Just…please, try, sweetheart. I need you to try, because you’re all I’ve got left.” Buffy let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. “I know I messed up. I was trying to protect you.” Joyce ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “ You’ll understand someday, Buffy. You’ll understand what it feels like to need nothing more than to protect your child from anything that might make them sad; make them feel pain.”

“Mom,” Buffy whispered, “you and Dad…I trusted you. I trusted that you guys weren’t gonna be like everybody else’s parents. You were gonna stay together, and you were gonna be there together on my wedding day.” She rolled her eyes at the next thought. “You were gonna come by and pick the grandkids up together and take them off for a weekend at Disneyland.”

“Buffy, your dad and I still love you. Very much.”

“Only he’s moving away with the sister I never knew, and things are even worse now.”

“Which is why you need to come home. We can’t work through this if we don’t try.” Buffy knew her mother was right. She hated that. But it was the truth. So, she nodded slowly.

“Just give me until the weekend, ok? I’ll…I’ll talk to Spike.”

“Honey, he can’t make your decisions for you.”

“He’s not,” Buffy pointed out. “But he’s been there for me, and I want to talk to him. He knows me better than anybody.” She looked away. “He knows me better than you do.” She could see the hurt in Joyce’s eyes, but she saw the acceptance too. After all, Spike and Buffy had been inseparable since childhood. It was only natural that they’d know things about each other that even their parents couldn’t know.

“Ok,” Joyce gave in. “Saturday, I’ll pick you up and take you to Dr. Bennett. Then we’ll go to lunch, the three of us, and we’ll talk about you coming back home. Can you live with that?”

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered. “Yeah, I think so.” She stood up, pushing her purse strap up her shoulder. “I should go. Spike and I are going to catch a movie. So…”

“Ok. I won’t keep you then.”

“Ok,” Buffy said with a somber nod. “See you Saturday.” Joyce walked Buffy to the door and watched as she got in Spike’s car. She let a few tears fall as she watched the car disappear around the block, and then she walked back inside, shutting the door behind her.

Chapter 13

“You’re really going home tomorrow?” Willow asked, as she and Buffy walked together after school. Buffy had promised Willow to have a girl’s night, just the two of them. They were going to go to Willow’s house, eat brownies and watch chick flicks all night, or at least until Spike showed up to get her. Cordelia had been invited, but she had a date with yet another jock.

“I guess so,” Buffy said quietly. “I’d rather stay with Spike, but I mean, if I press my luck, my mom could press charges, you know. Or do something. I’m not eighteen yet, so…”

“Yeah,” Willow said quietly. “So what else is new? I’ve been kinda preoccupied with Oz lately, and…”

“It’s ok. I think my middle name is preoccupation,” Buffy teased. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah. Mom wants me to go on birth control. She doesn’t know how good of an idea that is right now.”

“Really?” Willow asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Buffy muttered. “I sort of lied to her when I told her Spike was sleeping on the couch. Neither of us are exactly sleeping that much, and we’re not doing that apart, that’s for sure.”

“Wow,” Willow gulped.

“Yeah.” Buffy couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. “I can’t help it. I’m happy. And we’re being safe, so…”

“That’s good. Safe is good.”

“How are things with you and Oz?”

“Good,” Willow smiled. “He really wants Spike to join the band. I mean, it’s just him and Jesse, the drummer.”

“Yeah. I think Spike would have fun. I don’t wanna push him into it, though.”

“But wouldn’t it be great? We could ride together to their show. We’d both be dating guys in a band. The same band!”

“Yeah,” Buffy laughed, “giving Cordelia even more reason to fake hate us.”

“True.” They turned the corner onto Willow’s street. “But Oz is…he’s so sweet.”

“Has he kissed you yet?”

“A lady doesn’t reveal her secrets!” Willow laughed, getting an eyeroll from Buffy.

“C’mon, I’ve told you everything I’ve done with Spike.” Buffy chewed her lip. “Well, almost everything.” Willow let out a little gasp.

“You’ve been holding out on me?”

“Says you…the ‘lady.’ Please!” Buffy giggled.

“Ok. Ok. Yeah, we kissed. Well, we’ve kissed a lot. But that’s it. Nothing else. I mean…there are hands…going places, but…”

“Breathe, Wil. Your face is almost as red as your hair.” Willow smiled a little. “I’m happy for you guys. You’re really sweet together.”

“If it hadn’t been for you and Cordelia nudging me at him, I don’t think it ever would’ve happened.”

“Speaking of me and Cordy helping you…I’m loving the new look!”

“Thanks,” Willow said shyly. Since that night at The Bronze, Willow had started doing her hair a little differently, twisting it up in the back. She no longer wore hose with her skirts, and said skirts had gotten a few inches shorter. She now wore more form-fitting blouses and looked more and more feminine, as opposed to the plain, tomboy approach she’d taken before. “It feels good to be dainty.” They both giggled at that. “I’m gonna miss this.”

“What?”

“Well, this. If you move to New York, and…”

“Wil,” Buffy said quickly, holding up a hand. “No way in Hell am I moving to New York, ok? That’s just my dad’s wishful thinking, and he’s in no position to even ask anything of me right now. My mom’s has legal custody of me, and I’ll be eighteen soon, so…”

“But you’re not even, you know, a little curious about what it might be like?” Willow wondered, ducking her head a little. Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

“No. I mean, everything I need’s right here. My friends. Spike.”

“Maybe Spike’ll make it big if he joins the band. And then you can move to New York while he launches his rock band career.”

“He can do that here in California too,” Buffy laughed. “I have no plans to go.”

“What about Dawn?”

“I dunno,” Buffy said quietly. “I don’t know her. I don’t think I need to, you know?”

“But she’s your sister, Buffy.”

“Yeah, but I just found that out. She’s just a kid. How am I supposed to even get to know her? ‘Hey kid. I’m your older sister. I didn’t know about you, because my parents lied to me. Wanna play Barbies?’ I mean, c’mon, Wil.”

“Yeah, I get your point. I guess I’d just be curious. I’d wanna know if she was like me.”

“I guess,” Buffy said quietly. “I kinda hope she is like me, that way when she’s my age, she can give my dad Hell for whatever he does to screw it up with her.”

“That’s…one way to think about it,” Willow offered before changing the subject toward school. Normally, Buffy would object to the subject, but right now, it was a much needed distraction.

***

“God, why can’t real life be like that?” Buffy asked, dabbing her eyes as the credits rolled.

“What do you mean?”

“A happy ending,” Buffy whispered.

“What are you talking about?!” Willow wondered. “He died, Buffy. I mean, he literally died without her.”

“Yeah, but…they were together in the end.”

“In Heaven. Both dead. I mean, that’s depressing, Buffy.” Buffy shrugged and popped out the DVD of Somewhere in Time and placed it back in its case.

“Yeah, but they were perfect for each other. They were from different times, and they still found each other.”

“Yeah,” Willow said dreamily. “I guess that’s true. Stupid penny. You’d think if you were going to risk everything to travel through time, you’d make sure you had all your ducks in a row before attempting the impossible!”

“Ok, which movie’s next? I think we need something…a little less tear-inducing. So don’t even mention The Notebook.”

“Well, let’s see. We’ve got Dirty Dancing and…oh, how about Benny and Joon? That’s a good one, right?”

“Well, yeah. Johnny Depp? Big plus. And it’s quirky and fun.”

“I’ll go find it.” Willow hopped up and started browsing through her movies. Buffy stretched out on Willow’s bed and looked up at the ceiling. She could remember a few years ago when it had been covered in posters of that rugged, long-haired guy from LOST. Sawyer or something like that. Now it was poster-free, reflecting a change within the teen. They were all growing up. Some more than others, having to deal with problems every day that they never expected.

“Wil? Any luck yet? I’m bumming out by the second over here.”

“Maybe we should watch something else. Love stories do tend to be depressing if the mood isn’t right.”

“I dunno.” Buffy reached over and took a brownie off the plate on Willow’s bedside table. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t stop thinking.”

“About anything in particular?”

“More like everything in particular.” She sat up. “I don’t know, Wil. I just can’t make my brain shut off. It’d be nice to do for once. I hate feeling like this.”

“I know, Buffy. But it’ll get better.”

“Yeah. That’s what Spike says. I’m really not so sure.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Ok, enough of me bumming you out. Let’s watch the movie.” Willow gave Buffy a sympathetic smile and turned to pop the DVD into the player.

***

Spike checked the time on his cell phone. He had to leave to get Buffy in about a half hour. It was too quiet without her there, but he knew he had to get used to it. She was going back home tomorrow, and as much as he wanted to ask her to stay permanently, he knew that the best thing for her to do would to be with her mother and work things out. If she didn’t, he knew that would be something she’d regret for the rest of her life.

So, he sat in his living room, reading a book of poems he had to read for English class, but he wasn’t focusing on the words. He’d received three calls from Oz today asking if he was going to join the band, but he hadn’t made up his mind yet. As much as he’d love to explore music, he wasn’t so sure if he wanted to be the lead singer of a band. Yeah, he’d be working with his best friend, but he wasn’t sure if that was the kind of life he wanted, even if it was for a short time. Still, the upside was that the pay was good, and it would definitely help if his father flaked on supporting him through school. He was already supporting him with a check each month for rent, so Spike wasn’t so certain that his father would exaggerate that courtesy when it came time for college.

His phone rang, and he sighed, looking at the caller ID. It wasn’t Oz this time. It was Drusilla. He wasn’t going to answer, but he figured that if he got it over with, quick and painless, he wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore that night.

“What do you want, Dru?” he spat into the phone.

“William,” she cried, sounding truly frightened. “William, is that…it hurts, William.”

“Very funny, Dru. What do you want this time?”

“No…please,” she cried. “Please…” He could hear her breathing heavily, and he thought maybe it was one of her sick games. “Lovely, Dru. Tell whoever it is that you’re shagging that I don’t…”

“Listen! You need to hurry! Please…he’s…he’s drunk. Passed out cold. Please!” Spike suddenly felt a shiver run up his spine. There was a good possibility that this was a ploy to get his attention. But at the same time, there was a possibility that she was truly hurt, and despite the fact that he despised her more than anything, he couldn’t very well let a girl be in pain like that.

“Where are you?” he asked reluctantly.

“My house. Please, William. Hurry.”

***

“What happened?” Buffy asked, sliding into the car two hours later. “You were supposed to be here an…”

“I know, luv. I’m sorry.” His hands gripped the steering wheel, and he stared straight ahead.

“What happened?”

“Dru called me.” He could hear her sigh loudly.

“What’d she want this time?”

“Called me, sounded scared to death. I didn’t wanna go, but I was afraid she might’ve truly be hurt. Went over there, and found her all bruised up. But she wasn’t lying there, cowering in the corner. She was kissing him. Making up with him. Telling him she was sorry.”

“Who?”

“Angel.”

“I thought Angel dumped her.”

“Guess he can’t bear the thought of being single anymore,” Spike muttered. “Why would she want to endure that? Saw the evidence with my own bloody eyes.” Buffy swallowed hard and looked straight ahead.

“I don’t know. Spike, there’s something seriously wrong with her. She can’t see that, but if she doesn’t want help, then I guess we can’t…”

“Called the police, and they came. She won’t press charges, and they wouldn’t take him away, even though she was…” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I know I shouldn’t be angry. Not after what she did.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly, “but you did date her. You cared about her, so seeing anybody in pain like that…I can’t blame you.” She placed her hand on his knee. “I’m sorry she dragged you into it.”

“Me too.” He was trembling.

“Spike?”

“Just seeing her…it made me think…if anybody ever did anything like that to you...”

“Whoa, hey. Angel’s an asshole, ok? But this doesn’t have anything to do with me. Or us.”

“They way they talked about you, Buffy. And tonight…he was stumbling drunk, but…he threatened to hurt you.” Buffy swallowed hard, suddenly understanding why Spike was taking this so strongly.

“Well, he won’t, ok? You beat the crap out of those guys, so I don’t think they’re going to…”

“I just…don’t want to take any chances.” Buffy sighed softly and scooted over in the seat, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“Don’t worry. Nothing’s gonna happen to me.” She closed her eyes. “Even though Dru’s not my favorite person, I hope he doesn’t hurt her again. Nobody deserves that.” They rode in silence for a few minutes, and then Spike spoke again.

“Tomorrow, I’m telling Oz…I’m not joining the band.”

“What?” Buffy sat up a little and turned toward him.

“Right now…Angel’s acting out. He’s pissed about something, tossing threats around, and if I’m not there to…”

“You know I can take care of myself, right?”

“I know, but he did that to Dru, and he’s…dating her, apparently. What would he do to you? Especially after the other day in the park?” He shook his head. “No. I’m telling Oz ‘no.’ I need to take care of you first.”

“Take care of me? Spike,” Buffy whispered, “you should be taking care of yourself. You should do what’s going to be best for you.” He took her hand in his and kissed it.

“I am.”

Chapter 14

“Morning,” Buffy whispered, greeting him with a kiss as she stood over the bed. “Feeling better this morning?”

“Much,” he murmured, rubbing his tired eyes. Last night suddenly came rushing back to him, and he sat up. “I’m sorry about how I acted last night, luv. I was…I was angry, and…”

“Worried about me. I think that warrants forgiveness. Besides, you weren’t being mean to me. You were just afraid Angel was going to try something. I don’t know what his deal is, but…”

“Oh, come on, Buffy. He’s had a thing for you for years. He’s just angry that you never noticed him the way he wanted you to.” Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll start carrying a can of pepper spray.” Spike sighed quietly. “Look, Angel and I don’t exactly travel in the same circles. We don’t hang out at the same places. Occasionally, he’ll be at The Bronze when I am, but that’s about it. Don’t worry, Spike. He was drunk when he said what he said. He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“He hurt Dru.” Well, he had a point.

“Look, Mom’s gonna be here any minute. You’re welcome to come with me, but I don’t think it would be good for our sex life if you accompanied me to a pelvic exam.” She had hoped that would get a smile out of him, but she failed. Shaking her head, she sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t worry about me, ok? If I even see Angel coming near me, I’ll pull out my phone and have my finger ready to dial 911. Ok?” Spike just nodded. The car horn honked. “Ok. I have to go. Don’t forget, we’re going to lunch after my appointment.”
“Right. I’ll be ready.”

“Good. I love you.”

“Love you too, pet.”

She kissed him tenderly and then got up off the bed and headed out to meet her mother.

***

Spike watched as Angel played basketball alone at the park. He figured by the way Angel looked over his shoulder every so often, that he was expecting someone. Spike wondered how the hell Angel was awake, let alone playing basketball after how trashed he was last night.
He knew he should leave well enough alone, but right now, Angel probably wasn’t feeling very up for a fight, so he figured this was as good a time as any.

He got out of the car and made his way across the lot. It wasn’t until he was on the court that Angel noticed him. He didn’t say a word. He just continued shooting free throws, and Spike stood at the sidelines just watching him.

After a few minutes, Angel finally moved his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

“What do you want, Spike?”

“I came to tell you to stay away from Buffy.”

“What the hell would I want with her?”

“You threatened to hurt her last night.”

“Yeah? Well, I was drunk, so whatever I said…”

“Wasn’t an excuse, O’Connor.” Spike’s voice was steady, but the look in his eyes told Angel that he could fly off the handle at any moment. “And while you’re at it, stay away from Drusilla.”

“Are you kidding me with this? What the hell does Drusilla matter to you?”

“She doesn’t mean a thing to me. Not anymore. But that doesn’t mean I want her to get herself killed. She doesn’t think right, and you know that. She clings to whatever gives her the most attention. Doesn’t matter what kind.”

“Dru and I are none of your business, so I suggest you keep your nose out of our relationship.”

“You and I both know Dru’s not thinking clearly. Never has. Probably never will. Don’t you use that to your advantage.”

“Why are you so worried about Dru? I thought Buffy was your girlfriend.”

“I’m just warning you, Angel. You cause any more problems…for anyone, and you’ll be answering to me.” His jaw tensed when Angel snickered.

“Yeah. Well, we’ll see about that. Your little girlfriend might get bored one night and come looking for some extra attention. If she happens to come looking in my direction, well, who am I to say no to a pretty lady?” Before he knew what hit him, Angel was lying flat on the pavement, and Spike was gripping him by the shirt. He poised his fist in the air and let it down hard on Angel’s nose, hearing it crack. “Fuck! You son of a bitch!”

“You ever say anything like that again, and I’ll do worse than break your nose. You even so much as look at my girl sideways, and I’ll make you regret it.”

“Which girl are you talking about, Spike? The one you’re fucking now, or the one I’m fucking?” Spike punched him again. As much as he didn’t want to keep coming to Dru’s rescue, he knew that he’d never be able to get her out of his life if she continued calling him, hurting like she was. He was washing his hands of both Dru and Angel, but he knew better than to walk away without giving Angel a warning.

“Drusilla comes near you, you walk away, you got that? I’m not her keeper. I’m not cleaning up your messes. I’m done. You stay away.”

“Yeah, but can you do the same, Spikey-boy?”

“Dru knows it’s over. I made it clear to her. Next time she calls me, I won’t answer. But if I find out you’ve done anything to hurt her, or if you’ve hurt anybody for that matter, I’ll make sure you regret ever taking a swing…or making a threat.” He let go of Angel’s shirt.

“I’m not staying away from Drusilla,” Angel called, as Spike walked away. “Buffy may be your girl, but I’ve got what you couldn’t keep. And when Buffy wises up and leaves you? Don’t think I won’t be there with a shoulder for her to cry on.”

***

Buffy stared out the passenger’s side window as her mother drove down the street, trying to keep the car straight in their lane.

“I don’t know what else to say to you,” Joyce breathed, her breath shaking as she tried to calm herself.

“I don’t know what to say to you either, Mom. I’ve told you I’m sorry. I’ve told you…”

“Well, sorry doesn’t change anything,” Joyce spat. “It doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t smart enough to use protection! Now you’re pregnant. Pregnant, Buffy! You’re seventeen years old and barely a senior in high school, and before you go to college, you’re going to be a mother!”

“Mom!” Buffy exclaimed, “I didn’t plan on this! It’s not like I wanted this to happen!”

“But it did happen, Buffy. I was so stupid to think that you and Spike would be responsible. You’re seventeen, for God’s sakes.” Joyce shook her head. “You know, I partly blame myself. I should never have let you leave. I should have called the cops when you ran off. I should have…”

“Stop the car, Mom.”

“I will not!”

“You’re not paying attention to the road, and I’d like to live to see my eighteenth birthday!”

“Don’t even get smart with me, young lady. You lost that right when you threw out everything your father and I ever taught you.”

“All you and Dad taught me? What a joke!” Buffy knew she was just making the cuts deeper, but she couldn’t stop the words from falling from her lips.

“Buffy, you have no right to speak to me that way. I am your mother whether you like it or not, and I will not--”

“Just stop the fucking car!” Buffy shouted, startling her mother into silence. Joyce coasted to a stop three blocks from Revello Drive. Buffy got out of the car and stood out on the sidewalk.

The moment her feet were on the pavement, Buffy leaned forward, putting her hands on her knees. It was then that the shock subsided, and she let the tears fall.

“I’m what?”

“You’re pregnant.”

“That’s…”

“Impossible?”

“Well…I guess…no. I just…how long?”

“Not very far along. Too soon for you to be experiencing any symptoms.” Dr. Bennett handed her a few pamphlets. “Here’s a little reading material to get you started, Ms. Summers.” Buffy looked at the three pamphlets in her hands. One was about teen parenting, another was about the joys of adoption, and the other was about choice, her right to a normal life, sans baby. “I think we’d better bring your mother in. Would you like me to tell her?”

“No,” Buffy mumbled, unable to think much past the thought of telling her mother that her only daughter was going to be a teen mom. “I’ll tell her.”

“This isn’t happening,” she cried, shaking her head. “It can’t be happening. It’s not real.”

“Get in the car, Buffy.”

“No!”

“Get in the car, right now!”

“Just leave me alone! Just go away.”

“Buffy…”

“Go!” she sobbed. Taking a few deep breaths, she stood and turned toward the car, only to watch as Joyce sped away. “Wait…mommy…wait…” And she broke down once again.

***

Buffy arrived at Spike’s, and when he opened the door, he looked around her, expecting to see Joyce. Instead, it was only Buffy, and as far as moods went, she seemed to be the polar opposite of what she’d been this morning. So, carefully, he asked the question.

“Where’s your mum?”

“She went home. I think. We had a fight.” Spike sighed and nodded, moving out of the way so she could come in.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Yeah, I kind of have to.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze. He was suddenly very, very worried.

“Well, I’m here. You know you can talk to me about anything, so…whenever you’re ready.” They sat down together on the couch, and Buffy eyed him. How was she supposed to tell him that his life was about to change forever? Or that if he wanted, it didn’t have to change. She could do it alone.

Or there was the option that her mother immediately suggested before they left the doctor’s office. It was an option that Buffy couldn’t even consider right now.
She looked into his curious, blue eyes, and she reached out, stroking the side of his face. Buffy’s tears began to fall, and Spike’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

“Spike,” she whispered.

“What is it? You’re scaring me, pet.”

“I…” She let out a strangled sob before taking a couple of big, deep breaths. Spike took her hands, and she looked up into his eyes; those eyes that she could get lost in when everything else was so scary. That’s what she had to focus on when she said it. Those two words she hadn’t planned on saying for a very long time. “I’m pregnant.”

Spike wasn’t sure he’d heard her right. Here she was, sobbing before him, telling him something so life-changing, and he was doubting her words.

“You’re…what?”

“Spike,” she sobbed.

“You’re…pregnant.”

“Yes.” She buried her face in her hands. “I didn’t…oh God, Spike, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“Hey, hey,” he whispered. “Look at me, ok? Look at me.” Buffy snapped her head up and glared at him.

“‘Look at me?’ That’s your response? What about ‘how the Hell did this happen, Buffy’ or…or…”

“Hey,” he whispered, “we’ll figure this out. I promise.”

“You promise? How the Hell can you promise me something like that? We’re seventeen, Spike! We were stupid, and…and now look what’s happened. I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby. Your baby.” Spike felt the words sink in, but he was numb at the moment. How…well, he knew how. But…they were so careful. Well, save for that first time, and…good God.

“Oh my God,” he murmured.

“Thanks. That’s better,” she sniffled, as he handed her a tissue. “What are we gonna do, Spike? A baby…” She swallowed hard.

“Your mum…”

“She knows. She wants me to get rid of it.”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “Is that what you…I mean…” Buffy could only shake her head. “Ok. So…so not that, then.”

“Spike, I’m…I’m scared. I can’t go home. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you, luv. She’s scared. Probably just as scared as you are.” He pulled his arms around her, trying not to let her feel how afraid he really was. He was trembling, but she was shaking just as hard.

“I don’t know what to do, Spike.” She swallowed hard. “I just…this isn’t right. We can’t have a baby. We…we can’t!”

“Hey,” he whispered, stroking her hair, as she curled up against him on the couch. “Breathe, pet. It’s gonna be ok.”

“Stop saying that,” she whispered. “You keep telling me that, but everything keeps getting worse. We weren’t careful enough. We…we should have been smarter, Spike. That night…”

“That night? We were pretty drunk, luv. I should’ve…I thought…” He ran his fingers briskly through his hair.

“What are we gonna do, Spike?”

“I don’t know, pet,” he admitted. And then there was a knock at the door. Buffy sat up, knowing who it was but not wanting to face her.

“I can’t,” she cried.

“It’s ok, luv. It’s ok.” He walked over to the door, feeling like his legs were about to give out beneath him. When he opened the door, Joyce stood there clutching her purse, trying very hard not to let her tears fall again.

“Is she…”

“She’s here,” he said quietly, looking away. “You can come in if you’d like.” Joyce only nodded. She took a deep breath and walked into the apartment to see her daughter sitting there, crying her eyes out, shaking, on the verge of completely breaking down again.

“Mom,” she cried out the moment she met her mother’s gaze. As much as Joyce wanted to scream at them for being so careless; so stupid, all she saw when she looked at her daughter was her little girl that needed her help.

“Oh, honey,” Joyce whispered, hurrying over to the couch to hold her. Buffy broke down in her mother’s arms, and Spike stood there, uncertain of what he should do or say. He watched Buffy, who was apparently going to be a mother herself, being consoled by her own mother, a woman of whom she’d once had a wonderful relationship with. Now everything was different. Everything had changed.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry…I’m sorry.”

“Shh,” Joyce whispered, rocking Buffy slowly, as she had when she was just a little girl. “It’s ok. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have said what I said.” Buffy shook her head and sat up, wiping at her eyes.

“I’m scared, Mom. I don’t know what to do, and…”

“I know,” Joyce whispered.

“I can’t…I mean, I know what you want me to do, but I can’t, Mom. I just…”

“Ok. It’s ok. We have plenty of time to make a decision, ok?” Joyce asked softly. She looked up at Spike, and he half expected her to pull a gun out of her purse and shoot him right in the chest.

“Spike?”

“Y…yeah?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure,” he said cautiously. “What do you need?”

“I need you to call Buffy’s father’s cell phone. Tell him that he needs to get over here right now. His daughter needs him.”

“No! Don’t call him. Please, don’t call him,” Buffy sobbed. “I can’t deal with him right now. Please, Mom. Please…” Spike looked from Buffy to Joyce, who sighed and nodded her head.

“Ok. Ok, we’ll talk to him later.” Spike nodded, again, feeling useless.

“Joyce…er…Mrs. Summers,” he stammered, “I want you to know that I’m…I’ll do whatever I can to help. This is…this is just as much my fault as it is Buffy’s, and I won’t…I won’t let her down.” Joyce nodded but didn’t look at him again.

“I’m going to take Buffy home now. You’re welcome to ride along, but I’d like to have a little time with her.” Spike looked at Buffy, who seemed to need her mother right now, and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

“I’ll drop by later. Is that alright, Buffy?”

“Please,” she whispered with a little nod.

“Ok,” he assured her. He held open the door, and Buffy and her mother headed out. Before Buffy disappeared around the corner, Spike took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I promise you, I’m not going anywhere, luv.” Buffy nodded, sniffling and wiping at her eyes again. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she whispered back, before following her mother out to the car.

Spike watched from the door until the car pulled out of the lot and down the road. The moment he shut the door and leaned back against it, he realized something. He was going to be a father. He was seventeen, and his future was already uncertain, and he was going to be a father before he could even have the chance to start college.

“Bloody hell,” he murmured. His heart thundered in his chest, and he realized that he had nothing to offer her or a baby. What if she didn’t want to keep it? What if she gave it away? The thoughts swirled around in his head, and he shakily reached for the phone. He had to be responsible. He had to have a plan, and the only plan he could think of right now was to support her and help her however she needed him to.

He couldn’t even remember dialing the numbers, but when the voice on the other line answered, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Oz. It’s Spike. I’ll take the job.”

Chapter 15

“Thanks,” Buffy murmured, taking the cup of hot tea from her mother. Despite the warm day, the hot beverage was a comfort to her.

“Better?”

“A little,” she admitted. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. “I don’t know what to do, Mom. I’m scared. I just…”

“You’re so young, Buffy. I wanted you to go off to college, meet new people, and have new experiences…make a life for yourself before you brought another one into this world.” Joyce sighed softly. “Maybe if your father had stayed…”

“I love Spike, Mom. What happened between us…if it hadn’t happened then, it would have happened eventually.”

“Buffy, I know you love him, but you’re so young.”

“I know I’m young. I know that. I just…Spike’s everything to me. I know you don’t get that. I know it sounds stupid to say a guy is everything to me. But he is. He’s my best friend. He’s the person I go to when I’m scared.” Joyce nodded sadly.

“I know,” she whispered. “I remember a time when I was that person. When you were little and afraid of monsters in the closet.”

“I’m not that little girl anymore, Mom,” Buffy sniffled.

“No, you’re not. And you’re about to turn eighteen.” The line between adolescence and adulthood was growing thinner by the moment, and Joyce knew that a few months wouldn’t make a difference in Buffy’s maturity. She’d made the decision on her own to have sex, and she was now faced with the consequences. “I know you don’t want to be told what to do. I know in a few months, you’ll be able to do whatever you want without needing permission. But right now? I’m going to tell you what you’re going to do.”

“Mom!”

“Listen to me, Buffy. Just hear me out, ok?” Buffy felt her lower lip trembling, but she bit it to keep back a sob. “I think I deserve to be heard out.”

“Ok,” Buffy whispered.

“You’re going to want to get a job. But you can do that after you graduate. After the baby comes.”

“What?” Buffy asked, blinking in confusion.

“What I want for you to do is to focus on keeping your grades up. Getting into college. That’s what’s important. I know that right now, you probably can’t even begin to think about how you’re going to get through college. But you will. You’re going to get an education, because that’s what’s best for you and for the baby.”

“Mom…”

“You’re welcome to apply at universities in New York, if you’d…”

“No! I’m not leaving Sunnydale, Mom. I won’t leave Spike.” She saw her mother flinch.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yes. When the time comes for you to pick where you’re going to go to school, you’ll already be eighteen, and I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“But you want me to have an abortion.”

“I don’t want you to have an abortion, Buffy. I don’t want you to be pregnant, period. I don’t think that you’re ready for something like this, but if this is what you want, I have no choice but to support you.”

“What?”

“You’re my daughter, Buffy, and that baby is my grandchild. As angry as I am…as disappointed as I am? I can’t turn you away.” She sniffled and took a deep breath, taking Buffy’s hand in hers. “We can look into adoption, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t know what I want, Mom. I just…I want things to be normal again.”

“Honey, nothing is ever going to be the way it was. That’s something you’re going to have to face. I wish you didn’t have to face it so soon, but…that’s the way it is. No matter what you decide to do, it won’t change anything back to the way it was before.”

***

“I took the job.” He stared across the table at her and then cast a glance at Joyce, who sat next to her daughter. This was more like a business meeting than a meal, really, all tense and awkward.

“What?” Buffy stammered, eyes widening. “I thought you didn’t…”

“The pay’s good. I can save up the money, since my dad’s paying my expenses right now. Can save up to buy what the baby needs.”

“Spike,” Buffy said softly, “you don’t have to take the job if you don’t want to.”

“I want to. I wanna help. I don’t want to be the kind of man who doesn’t do what’s right. This is what’s right, Buffy. I wanna do this.” He looked at Joyce. “I love your daughter, Mrs. Summers. I’m sorry that I disappointed you.”

“Spike,” Joyce said quietly, “my daughter had a hand in this just as much as you did. I’m disappointed, yes, but I’m relieved to know that you’re going to step up and do the responsible thing.” Joyce folded her hands on the table. “What we need to talk about is how this is going to work. When the baby gets here…”

“Mom,” Buffy pointed out, “we have nine months to…”

“Which is not very long, Buffy. It’s gonna go by so fast you won’t know what hit you.” Joyce spoke from experience. “You know I’m going to help you. I want you to get through college and make sure you have the opportunity to get a good job.” She looked at Spike. “Spike, I know that your father is supporting you while you’re in high school, but after that?”

“I honestly don’t know,” he said with a slight shrug. “I’ll tell him, but I’m sure he won’t want to help.” He cleared his throat. “But with the money I’ll make with the band…I can find a place big enough for the three of us.” He looked at Buffy. “If you want, that is.”

“I don’t know what I want right now,” Buffy admitted. “I just want…” She slumped her shoulders and felt the tears prickling her eyes again.

“Why don’t you go get a warm bath and relax, honey,” Joyce suggested, “and Spike and I will talk a little more.” Buffy glanced at Spike, and he gave her a little nod.

“S’alright. I’ll be here when you come down.” Reluctantly, Buffy headed upstairs to get a bath. Joyce and Spike stared at each other from across the table. Joyce was the first one to speak.

“William,” she said slowly, making him squirm at the use of his real name. “Do you know what you’re getting into?”

“It hasn’t exactly sunk in yet, to be honest with you.”

“There’s going to be a baby in nine months, if that’s what Buffy decides,” Joyce said quietly. “Babies are expensive. I was lucky that Hank had a decent job when I got pregnant. The two of you…you’re so…”

“Young, I know,” Spike pointed out. “But I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to go to school. I’m going to play in the band.”

“That’s not going to support the three of you forever.”

“I know that. I do. I’ll do what I can. I’ll do everything I can. I just…I won’t be the kind of man that doesn’t want to be there.” Joyce saw the pain flicker in his eyes. She remembered how hurt Spike had been after his father and step-mother divorced, and his father flitted off to London, barely keeping in contact with his son.

“I understand,” she said slowly. “But…”

“What are you trying to do? Are you trying to…to give me an out or something? I’m not letting Buffy do this alone.”

“I wasn’t…”

“I love her, ok? I’ve loved her for a long time, and I will own up to what happened. Buffy’s pregnant, and I’m the reason. But I’m not gonna walk away from this. I’m not losing her. She’s everything to me.” Joyce remembered Buffy saying something quite similar to her earlier.

“I respect that,” Joyce said quietly. “You both seem very determined to make this work, and I admire that. I just don’t want Buffy to get hurt when this is all said and done.”

“With all due respect, I’m not Buffy’s father. I’m not going to leave like he did. I’m not going to hurt her. I’d never do that. I’m not that kind of guy.” Joyce looked down at her folded hands, and she nodded.

“Alright. But you have to realize that this isn’t going to be easy. It’s gonna be pretty hard, and at some point, you’re probably going to want to run screaming for the hills. But it doesn’t work like that. If you want to be involved, you’re going to have a lot to deal with, and you’re going to have to be ready.”

“I will be. I promise.”

***

They sat side by side on the back porch that night, neither one really sure of what to say. Buffy leaned her head on Spike’s shoulder, and he had his arm around her waist. Joyce was inside, deciding not to monitor them, considering the damage had already been done. Her seventeen year old daughter was going to be a mother herself.

“Do you think we can do this?” Buffy asked. “Honestly?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. Never thought much about having kids before,” he said quietly. “Didn’t expect it would happen this soon, anyway.”

“I know what you mean.” She looked up at him. “Are you scared?”

“Out of my bloody mind.” He let out a slow, even breath. “Which is probably what I should be feeling.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I should have been thinking that night. I didn’t even think about it. I just…I wanted you, and I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“It’s not your fault,” Buffy assured him. “I wanted to just as much as you did, and I should have asked you if you had anything.” She sighed and slumped her shoulders. “I guess it doesn’t really matter now, does it?”

“Guess not,” he breathed. “You’re sure…you want this?” He watched her flinch.

“I’m not asking you for anything, Spike. If you don’t want to be a part of this…”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I can’t go through that, ok? I just…I can’t. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but that’s not an option for me right now.” Spike nodded his head.

“Good. I’m glad.”

“You are?”

“Yeah.” He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t know what we’re gonna do, but we’ll figure it out together, alright.”

“Ok,” she agreed. She took a deep breath and stood up. “It’s getting late…and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna crash as soon as I get upstairs. I’ll come over tomorrow, ok?”

“S’gonna be weird, not sleeping next to you every night.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy smiled, looking down at their hands that were joined, gently swaying together. “We’re crazy, aren’t we?”

“Maybe just a little,” he offered. “We’ll get through this, Buffy. It’s us.” He saw the relief flood over her face.

“Yeah. Us. We can do anything.”

“Right, pet.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” she breathed. “C’mon. I’ll walk you to your car.”

***

“Hello?” Buffy asked slowly as she picked up the phone in her room.

“Hey, it’s me,” Willow said cheerfully on the other line. “I just talked to Oz, and he said Spike told him he’d join the band. I thought you said he wasn’t going to.”

“He changed his mind,” Buffy murmured, leaning back against her headboard and staring at the wall across the room.

“Is everything ok? You sound funny, Buffy.”

“I’m…I’m ok, Wil. It’s just been a long day, and…”

“You’re doing ok at your mom’s though?”

“Yeah. I think so.” Buffy took a deep, shaky breath, which Willow heard. “So, are you working on homework, or…”

“Buffy? What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean? I’m fine.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know that when you say you’re fine like that, you’re not fine, so spill.” Willow waited patiently, while on the other side of the line, Buffy bit her lip nervously and covered her face with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone. “Buffy? C’mon. I know that you tell everything to Spike, but I’m here if you need to talk.” She tried not to sound bitter. She wasn’t, really. She’d accepted their closeness long ago, and they’d known each other for much longer, but still, she wished that Buffy could talk to her more.

“Ok,” Buffy finally agreed. “But Wil, I need you to promise me that this doesn’t go anywhere apart from this conversation. You can’t tell Cordelia. Not even Oz. Not right now.”

“Oh God. Buffy, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“Are you sitting down?”

“Yeah. Oh God. It’s one of those ‘sit down’ conversations?”

“Definitely.” Once again, Buffy chewed on her bottom lip. She squeezed her eyes shut, as if Willow were in the room with her, and she blurted it out. “I’m pregnant, Wil.” Silence. She heard a stifled gasp, and that was about it. “Wil? Willow? Are you…hello?”

“I’m here.” Willow’s voice was small and carried the weight of surprise. “Wow, Buffy. I wasn’t…I thought maybe you were moving or…or….I didn’t even think about…oh my God! You’re pregnant?!”

“Shh! If your parents hear, they’ll totally freak!” It was true. Willow’s parents didn’t even know she was dating yet. They weren’t too keen on sex before marriage, either.

“They’re not home right now. But, oh my God! Does Spike know?”

“Of course he knows. He was the first person I told…well, before my Mom.”

“Oh God. How’d she take it?”

“She freaked. But she didn’t kill me. And I’m still at home. So…I guess it’s gonna be ok.”

“Well, how did Spike take it? Oh my God, that’s why he told Oz he’d join the band, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Spike…well, he was just as freaked as me, but he wants to be there for me. He’s gonna support me in whatever I decide.”

“Decide? You mean…oh…so you’re gonna…”

“No. I’m…I’m keeping the baby.”

“You mean, keeping it, as in you’re gonna raise it, and…”

“I think so,” Buffy whispered. “I mean, I know I’m not ready for this, but I can get ready. And Spike’s there, and my Mom. I’ve got a great support system. I just…it’s so confusing, Wil.” Her voice was starting to shake, and Willow knew her friend was on the verge of tears.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t think so, Wil, but thanks. It’s still really early, so I shouldn’t really be telling people. I just…I needed to tell someone else, and even though I love Cordelia, she can’t keep a secret, even when she tries her hardest.”

“Well, I’m glad you told me. I just…wow. I can’t believe it, Buffy.”

“I’m still having a hard time with the concept too. I’m scared, Wil.”

“It’s gonna be ok. You’ll get it figured out. You’re lucky you’ve got your mom and Spike. Did you tell your dad?”

“No. And I’m thinking of not telling him until he’s across the country in New York. At least he can’t kill me or Spike from there. Though he may have contacts to the mob.”

“Buffy.”

“You never know! Anyway, I don’t wanna tell him. I really…really don’t.” She took a deep breath, and as she was about to say something else, she heard a peck on her window, startling her. “Uh, Wil. I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ok?”

“Yeah. Definitely. Bye, Buffy.”

“Bye.” Buffy hung up and hurried over to her window. When she pulled up her shades, Spike was standing in the tree looking up at her. Buffy’s eyes widened, and she lifted her window. “Spike! What the Hell are you doing?”

“Can I come in?”

“Uh…yeah, but…but be quiet. If my mom hears you, she’ll…”

“I’ll be quiet,” he promised, pulling himself into her bedroom. Buffy backed up a little, giving him some room.

“What’s up?” She felt like an idiot to ask him that after everything that had transpired in the last day.

“I couldn’t sleep. I tried, but…God, Buffy, I just…”

“I know what you mean,” she muttered, sitting down on the end of her bed. Spike sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her. “We’re going to have a baby, Spike. We’re gonna be somebody’s parents. Together.”

“Together,” he said softly as he stroked her cheek. “Just remember that.”

“Did you tell your dad?”

“Not yet. You?”

“No,” she murmured. “I’m thinking of waiting until he’s gone to New York. At least your dad’s across the ocean.” She frowned and moved across the room. She slowly opened her door to peer out into the hall. It was dark, so she closed her door quietly and turned off the lights.

“Think I’ll sleep better if you sleep with me,” Spike said softly. Buffy smiled a little and nodded.

“Ok, but you can’t let her find you in here in the morning.”

“I’ll be as quiet as a mouse, luv.”

“Good,” she whispered, “’cause I want you to stay.” She pulled back the covers and crawled under them. Spike removed his shoes and crawled into bed with her. He didn’t mind the girly bed, because it smelled just like her. He smiled when she smiled at him, and he leaned in to kiss her softly.

If she’d had any worries at that very moment about their future, that smile, that wonderful smile, made them melt away. Spike was her safe haven, and she knew in her heart that whenever things got too scary or too complicated, he was going to be there to hold her until the fear went away.

Chapter 16

The next week in school was absolute torture. The only ones that knew about Buffy’s current condition were her, Spike, and Willow, and their friends were growing suspicious. The tension at the lunch table, the shared looks, the quiet whispering? It was all getting to Cordelia. Oz didn’t seem to mind it, but Xander was certainly curious.

By Friday at lunch, Xander finally had to ask.

“Ok, what’s going on? I mean, you guys aren’t breaking up, right? Because I saw you behind the gym making out like porn stars, so that can’t be it,” Xander commented, getting a blush out of Buffy. “So what’s going on?”

“Xander,” Willow warned, “if they don’t wanna talk about it, they don’t have to.”

“So there is something! And you know.”

“What?!”

“You know. You’ve been in on the secret whispering too. What’s going on, Wil?” Xander demanded.

“What if it’s none of your damn business?” Cordelia asked with a sweet smile from across the table. Xander glared at her.

“You can’t tell me you’re not the least bit curious.”

“What I’m curious about is who’s asking me to dance at The Bronze tonight. At least you don’t have to worry about that, because…” She saw the hurt look on Xander’s face “Oh…that’s right! Anya dumped you.”

“She didn’t dump me, Cordy,” Xander muttered. “She moved to L.A. with her parents.”

“Same thing.”

“No it’s not.”

“She might say she’ll call you, but soon, she’ll be dating guys that are way hotter than you.” Buffy and Spike side-eyed each other at that little quip. Cordelia’s face was…what was going on? Was she blushing? How had that embarrassed her.

“Excuse me, I think I see that guy I danced with that Saturday.” She got up quickly and left the table.

“What the Hell is her problem?” Xander wondered.

“Gee, I don’t know,” Willow teased with an eye roll.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that for a pretty smart guy, you’re kinda dumb,” Buffy offered.

“What?”

“Are you really that thick, Harris?” Spike wondered, cocking his head to the side.

“Gee, thanks guys. And to think, I was gonna be in charge of the cake for your joint birthday party.”

“What?!” Buffy asked quickly. Willow glared at Xander.

“Secret…joint birthday party.”

“We’re having a party?” Buffy wondered.

“Well, since your birthday’s next month, and Spike’s is like three days later, I figured we’d have a joint birthday party. It’s easier that way.”

“That’s awesome, Xander!”

“Well, now I’m reconsidering the nice cake. I’m thinking more along the lines of something gross like flan or artichokes.”

“What? Because we won’t tell you what’s going on?”

“Well, that, but because you called me an idiot.”

“Did not,” Buffy defended. “You just don’t see that…”

“See what?” He looked around at his friends at the table. “See what?”

“Oh, Xander.” Buffy reached over and patted his hand. The bell rang, and everyone got up to head to their next classes. Xander sat at the table a moment longer, trying to figure out why his friends thought he was thick.

In the meantime, Spike and Buffy rounded the corner to head down to their row of lockers, and just as they were making their way down the hall, a voice from behind stopped them.

“Isn’t this cute? Buffy and Spike holding hands like a couple of old marrieds.” Buffy turned around first to see Angel. Spike refused to acknowledge the asshole’s presence.

“Go to Hell, Angel,” Buffy spat.

“You know,” Angel said with a sly grin, stepping up close to her. “If you’d just give me the chance, I could take you to Heaven.” Spike turned and shoved Angel against the locker.

“Just one more word, O’Connor, and you’ll be carrying your front teeth home in a plastic baggie.”

“What’s the matter, Pratt? Afraid of somebody sniffing around your territory?” he wondered aloud, as Spike’s grip on his shirt collar tightened. “I’d have to give her a good scrub down first. Like I’d want your sloppy seconds anyways.”

Four-point-five seconds later, some freshman was running down the halls screaming “Fight! Fight!” and everyone was running to watch. Buffy stood back against the lockers, mortified. But when Angel’s fist connected with Spike’s stomach, she stepped in without thinking.

“Stop it! Just stop it!”

“Get out of the way, Buffy,” Spike warned, his eyes targeting on Angel’s already bloodied nose.

“Stop! Just…walk away!” Buffy begged him.

“Yeah. Why don’t you listen to your little girlfriend and save yourself the embarrassment of getting your scrawny ass beaten by the quarterback of the football team?”

“Piss off,” Spike spat, as Buffy stepped out from between the two of them, tugging on Spike’s arm before Snyder could come in and break it up himself.

“What the fuck kind of talk is that? Listen to the nancy boy. All proper, even when he’s in the middle of a fight.” Angel laughed, and some of his buddies fist-bumped, as if they’d just said the funny thing.

Angel started to turn away, but Spike was on him again, knocking him down onto the floor, where he slid into the lockers.

“I’m warning you, you fucking prick, stay away from me. Stay away from her. If you don’t, I really will knock the teeth out of your head next time.” Spike turned and walked away with a worried Buffy right beside him. Angel panted hard as his friends helped him stand. Principal Snyder fought his way through the crowd to find Angel a bloody mess.

“What happened here? Who did this to you, O’Connor. Tell me it was that Pratt fella. If you do, he won’t see the inside of this building for a month.” Snyder’s eyes were practically glistening with glee. But Angel looked around at the crowd. Even though they’d all just witnessed the fight, there was no way in hell he would ever admit out loud that he’d had his ass handed to him by Spike Pratt.

“Just a misunderstanding, sir,” Angel muttered before walking off. Everyone else shuffled off to class, and Snyder glared at the back of the best football player they had. Something fishy was going on, and that usually meant that trouble was spelled P-R-A-T-T-A-N-D-S-U-M-M-E-R-S.

***

“What the Hell was that?” Buffy asked after school. She’d fumed about it the rest of the day, and it wasn’t until they were in Spike’s car at the end of the day that she’d finally let it out.

“Buffy…”

“You couldn’t just walk away, could you.”

“I’m sorry, luv. I just…when he says those things about you, all I wanna do is make him stop.”

“I appreciate that, but you’re gonna get yourself hurt someday.”

“I think I held my own.”

“Yeah, this time. What if next time his buddies join in? You can’t let Angel get to you like that. As much as I hate him too, I really don’t want to have to tell our child someday that daddy got his neck broken because somebody said something not so nice about mommy.” Spike sighed and nodded his head as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“I’ll try to restrain myself next time.”

“Thank you. How’s your head?”

“Fine. Hope he’s got a hell of a headache…amongst other things.” Buffy nodded and reached over, lifting up Spike’s shirt. “You’ve got a bruise where he hit you.”

“Yeah. Doesn’t hurt much.”

“You’re sure you’re ok?”

“Fit as a fiddle, pet. I’ve got practice with the band. I can drop you off at home, or you can come watch.” Buffy thought for about a half a second.

“I’d like to come watch. Just so long as you get me home in time to change before we go out tonight.”

“You’re sure you’re feeling up to The Bronze?”

“I feel great. If I hadn’t been told by a doctor, I wouldn’t even know I’m pregnant, Spike. Don’t worry…we’re gonna go out, have fun, and not think about anything else tonight.” Spike didn’t look so convinced, so Buffy scooted over and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. “Trust me. I feel fine, and I want to dance with my boyfriend tonight, and let him know how much he means to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh,” she grinned, kissing his cheek again before nibbling on his earlobe. Spike shuddered and gripped the steering wheel, praying he’d make it to the club without wrecking the car in the process.

***

Willow had been at rehearsal too, and when everything started running late, Willow offered to walk with Buffy so they could get ready for their respective dates. Since Buffy’s home was closer, they headed there first.

Joyce wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour, but when Buffy and Willow walked up the street toward the house, they spotted Hank’s car.

“Great,” Buffy murmured. “Just what I need.” She handed Willow her house key. “This might take a while. Go on inside and pick out an outfit. Wear whatever you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we probably won’t have time to go back to your place. So just go on in.”

“Ok,” Willow said slowly. She turned up the sidewalk and went up to the house. Buffy stepped out into the street and went to her father’s window.

“What are you doing here?” she asked him the moment he’d rolled his window down.

“I wanted to talk to you. I wanted you to meet your sister.” He motioned into the back seat. Buffy sighed and looked through the back window, seeing the little girl sleeping there. Buffy turned her attention back to her dad and glared at him.

“That’s low, Dad. You can’t just drop in on me like this with her. I’m not ready to…”

“Please, Buffy. I’m leaving soon, and I want you to meet her before we go away. I’m not asking anything of you. I know you refuse to move with me, and although I’m hoping you change your mind, I’d really like nothing more than for you to meet Dawn and get to know her before we go away.”

“What’s the point, Dad? I’m never gonna see her after you move away. Let’s just face it. You’re not gonna call or write. You won’t visit. You’ll disappear, just like you dropped off the face of the planet when you moved out, only to resurface with what appeared to be a new family.”

“Buffy, I never meant to hurt you. I know you’re angry, and I would be too. I’m…I’m trying here, ok? I know I’m never gonna win father of the year after everything I did; everything I kept from you, but I do love you, Buffy. You know I do.”

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered, rubbing away a fallen tear, “but saying you love me doesn’t change anything. I thought you loved me before, but you lied. You had another family. You left us for them. And then she left you, so you’re crawling back, asking to be a part of a family you broke up.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. Your mother and I are over, and there’s no changing that.”

“I don’t want that to change. Not now. Not after what you did. Look, Dad, I have a date tonight, and I don’t have time for this. I’m not ready.”

“Please, Buffy…”

“Don’t force this on me! I’ll meet her when I’m ready, ok?” With that, she turned and headed up to the house, slamming the door loudly behind her. Back in the car, five year old Dawn woke at the noise.

“Daddy?”

“I’m here, sweet pea.”

“Is my big sister here?”

“No, sweetheart. We just missed her.”

“Oh,” Dawn pouted.

“Don’t worry. We’ll see her soon, ok?”

“Ok, Daddy.” Dawn smiled, showing that her two front teeth were missing, and then she turned her head to look up at the house they were parked in front of. Slowly, her eyes closed, and she drifted off to sleep again.

Chapter 17

“Dad? No…Dad. Listen to me. I didn’t…what? Of course it’s mine. How could you? No, Dad, listen to me. Dad? Bloody hell.”

“Spike?” Buffy had followed her boyfriend outside of The Bronze when he’d taken a call from his father. When she found him on the verge of tossing his phone onto the pavement, she hurried over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. “Hey. What happened?”

“Told me he’s cutting me off.”

“What?!”

“He’ll pay my rent through graduation, but he said I’d have to figure out something on my own for school.”

“Spike,” Buffy said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Wasn’t expecting he’d be thrilled, exactly, but I was hoping for a little support. Suppose that’s what I get for thinking…”

“Come on,” Buffy urged, taking his hand and pulling him back toward the club. “Let’s go inside and dance and have some fun.”

“Don’t really feel like it, pet.”

“That’s the point. It’ll make you feel better.” Despite the fact that those big, beautiful green eyes were sparkling in the moonlight, making him fall in love with her all over again, his father’s blatant disregard for his only son’s future had him feeling less than enthused.

“You go back in if you want. I’m not exactly in a club mood, pet. I’m sorry.” Buffy shook her head.

“It’s ok. I’ll just go in and tell the girls we’re taking off.”

“Don’t want to spoil your evening.”

“My evening would be spoiled if I spent it without you. Go get the car and pick me up around front in five minutes.” She leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. She flashed him an encouraging smile before turning and hurrying back into the club to say goodbye to their friends.

As she was walking back in, Angel brushed past her as he stumbled out.

“Watch it,” he slurred. Buffy rolled her eyes at him and made her way into the crowd. Angel snickered and turned to watch her walk away from him. His eyes played over her backside, and he couldn’t help but harden a little bit at the thought of what it would feel like to slam into that perfect, tight little ass.

“Angel? Drusilla placed her hand in his. “Come on. It’s getting late. Give me the keys.”

“I can drive.”

“You’re drunk,” she giggled.

“Yeah? So are you.”

“Not as much as you are. Give them to me.”

“I’m driving, Dru,” he demanded. “Get in the car.”

“No!” He quickly grabbed her by the arm, squeezing hard. “Ow! Let go of me! Angel! Please!”

“Get in the fucking car, Dru!”

“Please, you’re hurting me!”

From across the lot, Spike heard the cries of a woman in pain, and he rushed past the rows of cars to find Angel trying to shove Dru into the passenger’s seat.

“Stop!” Dru cried. “Ow! That hurts!”

“Oi!” Spike shouted. Angel took a deep breath and turned around.

“Get the fuck out of here, Spike.”

“What the hell are you doing?” He looked into the car to find Dru half passed out, rubbing her hurt arm.

“None of your god damned business. Now get out of here, Spike, unless your goal is to get the shit beat out of you tonight.”

“I’ll get out of your face as soon as you agree to let me take Dru home.”

“What?”

“You’re drunk. You’re not taking her anywhere.” Spike thought for a moment, raised an eyebrow, and then he hauled off and punched Angel square in the nose. Angel stumbled back onto the pavement, and Dru let out a little cry.

“Don’t hurt him. Please, don’t hurt him,” she whimpered.

“Buggering hell,” he muttered. “Just get out of the car, Dr. I’ll drop you off at your house. Your mum and dad? Are they home?”

“I think so,” she breathed.

“Fine. Come on.” He helped her out, and she had to lean on him as they headed over to the car. When he got her into the back seat, she passed out, lying down across the black leather interior. Shaking his head, Spike got in the driver’s side and started the engine.

Just as she’d said, Buffy was waiting for him at the door when he pulled up. Before she got in, she spotted the form of Drusilla Lewis lying across the back seat of her boyfriend’s car.

“What the hell is this?” she asked.

“She’s completely hammered,” he pointed out. “And Angel was manhandling her into the car.” Buffy sighed but nodded, not blaming Spike one bit for helping a woman in distress, even if it happened to be Dru. “Don’t mind waiting on me to drop her off, do you luv?”

“It’s ok. Where’s Angel?”

“Left him passed out on the pavement.”

“Good,” Buffy breathed.

“Should call the cops.”

“Nah, I saw Parker leaving. They parked next to each other, so I’m sure he’ll make sure he gets home.”

“Yeah,” Spike muttered. “I suppose so.”

They headed off down the street, and Buffy’s cell phone rang. She noticed her mother’s cell number and frowned.

“Hello?”

“Hi sweetheart,” her mother said hurriedly on the other line. “Are you still out?”

“Spike and I are dropping somebody off at their house, and then we’re coming over. Where are you?”

“I’ve got to go to the gallery and get a couple of things done for Monday. I totally forgot about them until now. I made a cake for Mrs. Murphy, one of my clients. Please don’t touch it.”

“I’m not having cravings yet, Mom.”

“I was really more concerned about Spike. I know about that sweet tooth of his.”

“Yeah,” Buffy grinned. “Ok. Will you be home late?”

“I don’t know, honey. I’ll call you on my way home, ok?”

“Ok. Be careful.”

“You too. I love you.”

“Love you, Mom. Bye.” Buffy hung up and put her phone in her purse. “Mom’s gonna be late.” She smiled a little. “We’ll have the place to ourselves for a while.”

“Like the sound of that,” Spike smirked, stepping on the gas a little, hoping to get Dru home as soon as possible so he could get Buffy home and proceed to ravage her until the sun came up.

***

“Dude, what the hell happened to you?” Parker asked as he helped Angel stand.

“Spike Pratt,” he sputtered through gritted teeth.

“What?”

“He took Dru home.”

“Dru’s your girlfriend.”

“I know that, dipshit,” Angel said with an eye roll. “Where are my keys?”

“Right here, man. I’ve got ‘em. Why don’t you let me take you home?”

“I’m not going home,” Angel said with a snicker.

“You’re wasted, man.”

“No. I’m not. I’m fine. Just had a few drinks, and I’m sobering up.”

“Parker?” A girl about Buffy’s height with long, dark hair and bronzed skin came walking over. “Are we going back to your place now?” Parker turned back to Angel.

“You’re sure you’re ok to drive?”

“I’m cool, man. I’ve done this plenty of times.”

“Where are you going, exactly?”

“I’m gonna go teach Pratt a little lesson.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Parker warned. Angel smiled at him and shrugged his shoulders.

“Now what on earth would I do, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Parker rolled his eyes and gave Angel his keys. “If you get your ass arrested, don’t expect me to bail you out. Call that rich mom and dad of yours.”

“Will do. Thanks, man.” Parker nodded, gave Angel a drunken fist bump, and got into the car, driving off with the attractive girl, leaving Angel to his own business.

***

“You look so beautiful,” Spike murmured, stroking Buffy’s hair as they lay cuddled in bed together.

“You’re just saying that ‘cause you got to have sex.”

“What? I’d never do that. If I wanted sex, I’d say that before, luv.”

“Which you did, hmm?”

“Well, you got me there, luv,” he grinned, pulling her into a kiss. She giggled against his lips, and his hands moved under the blankets, caressing her bare thigh. “Could hold you like this forever.”

“Mmm,” she sighed against his mouth. “Me too.” And then the phone rang. “Damn it.” She picked up the phone quickly. “Hello?”

“Hi honey, it’s me. I’m on my way home.”

“Ok. You got everything done?”

“Yeah. Is Spike there?”

“Uh huh. We’re watching movies.”

“Why do I doubt that?”

“We are!”

“What are you watching?”

“The Blue Lagoon.”

“Oh really? Who’s in it.”

“Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins, mom.”

“You’ve seen it a hundred times.”

“Yeah, and so have you.”

“You’re a good liar, sweetheart.”

“Mom!”

“Ok. Ok, I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon.”

“Ok. Bye!”

“Bye, honey.” Buffy hung up the phone and sat up in bed, turning to Spike.

“You have to put your pants on.”

“What?”

“My mom’s coming. Get dressed, I have to go pop in The Blue Lagoon, and we have to pretend like we weren’t up here doing things that would make my mother cry if she knew.”

“Well, I think she already knows, I mean…”

“Spike!”

“Alright, alright. Why’d you have to tell her The Blue Lagoon?”

“Just hurry!” she laughed, pulling on her own clothes and heading downstairs.

When she found her copy of The Blue Lagoon, she popped it into the DVD player, skipped to a scene somewhere in the middle of the movie, and she plopped down on the couch. Spike joined her a few minutes later, and she fussed with his hair.

“Oi!”

“You have sex hair.”

“Sexy hair, you mean.”

“Well, that too. My mother might know we’re having sex, but I don’t exactly want her to know that I’m on top sometimes.” She shivered, but she smoothed his hair out some more. “That’s better.” Spike lay back on the couch, and she leaned against his chest. When his hand began to move from her side down to her hip, she swatted it away.

“Ah, ah,” she warned with a giggle. “Don’t want her to walk in on us, do you?” A car door shut, and Buffy raised an eyebrow. “See what you almost did. That would’ve been embarrassing.” Spike shrugged his shoulders and pulled her to him for a quick kiss. But a moment later, she wriggled off of him and went to open the door so her mother wouldn’t have to fuss with her keys.

But when she opened the door, her mother wasn’t standing there facing her. It was Angel, and he looked pissed.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked, her voice shaking a little. Sensing Buffy’s tone, Spike hopped off the couch and moved up behind her. His eyes narrowed when he saw Angel, and he stepped between him and Buffy.

“Just came to see if you could use some company,” Angel chuckled. “I mean, your boyfriend here played white knight to my girlfriend, so I thought maybe they’d shacked up.” He glared at Spike the entire time he spoke.

“Get lost, O’Connor.”

“No, no, I don’t think that’s gonna happen. See, I think I’m going to stick around for a little while. See, I need to explain a little something to you.” He started to brush past Spike to get into the house, but Spike’s hands were planted firmly on either side of the door frame. He wasn’t going to budge.

“Explain it from there,” Spike warned, as Buffy moved into the living room, picked up the cordless, and came up behind Spike again.

“I’m calling the cops, Angel.” She turned away to make the call.

“By all means. A lot of good that would do me. My dad would have me out of there in a minute.” He smirked at Spike. “At least I’ve got a dad that gives a damn about my life. Where is yours? Oh yeah, halfway across the world, probably so he doesn’t have to look at his worthless, sorry excuse for a son.”

“Back off, Angel,” Spike warned. “Unless you want me to break your nose this time.”

“Cops are on their way, Angel.” Angel and Spike stared each other down for about a minute, and then Angel finally backed down.

“Better watch your boyfriend, Summers. If he doesn’t stop sticking his neck into other people’s business, he’s gonna get it broken.” With that, Angel stumbled away, and Buffy hung up the phone while Spike shut the door.

“I told them where to find Angel’s house. They’re gonna go pick him up.”

“Good,” Spike said quietly. “You alright?”

“I’m fine. I’m just getting really sick of him. He’s such a…God, I just wanna punch him in the face over and over again and record the whole thing so I can put it on repeat. Is that wrong of me?”

“Sounds like my girl,” Spike chuckled. “C’mon, let’s go watch the movie. Your mum’ll be home soon.” Buffy nodded, and she followed Spike into the living room to watch the movie and try to put her fears to rest.

Chapter 18

The way it had happened had felt so completely unreal. The memory was right there, though it felt like one of those fuzzy memories from childhood that may or may not have happened. She could remember the sound of the doorbell, the whites of the officer’s eyes, the way his hand shook, as if this was his very first night on the job. Maybe it was.

She could remember the deafening sounds of sirens, the words passing through the officer’s lips, the sinking feeling, the feeling of Spike’s arms wrapping around her before she could hit the floor. But she couldn’t remember the words he’d said. Of all the things not to remember about the worst moment of her life was how she found out her world had changed once again.

He was holding her now, stroking her hair as they sat on the front porch, waiting. Her hoarse sobs had muted into silent, shoulder-shaking cries which left damp spots on Spike’s shirt but left no audible mark in the air.

The sound of car doors slamming didn’t make her look up, but she could smell Xander’s cologne and hear Willow and Cordelia’s frantic, whispering chatters.

And then all sound stopped.

Hands were rubbing her shoulders, patting her knees, soft sobs were coming from somewhere, maybe Willow. But Buffy’s world was dark. She couldn’t…no, she wouldn’t open her eyes. She wouldn’t. Because all she needed to see, which coincidentally was everything she didn’t want to see, was all there in her head, save for the words he used…the words that broke her world once again.

***

Buffy woke with a start to a knock at the door. Her first reaction was to panic. She nudged Spike, who had fallen asleep with her on the couch.

“Wake up! My mom’s home!”

“Bloody hell,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes. “Go get the door.” Buffy had practically sprinted to the door, not paying attention to the fact that the clock read one a.m., a whole hour since Angel had left. And when she opened the door, an officer, a young man with a cleanly shaved face and short cropped black hair stood there, his hat in his hand.

“Buffy Summers?”

“Yes?” she asked. “If you’re looking for Angel, I gave you his address. How are you…why are you here?”

“Miss Summers, I’m Officer….” She couldn’t even remember his name. The words that came spilling out of his mouth barely sunk in. She shook her head. Her mouth formed words that were inaudible. The tears prickled to the surface and began to fall, and then she was falling. And then arms were catching her, and she was standing again.

“No,” she cried. “You’re…you’re wrong.”

“I’m very sorry,” he whispered. “The driver was taken to the hospital, where he’s being treated. He was over twice the limit.”

“My mother. Where is she?”

“Miss Summers, I think you’re in shock. I’m…I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“No! Where is she!” Buffy cried. “Please…tell me where she is. Tell me!” She was crying into a strong chest now. Hands were caressing her back. She was pounding futilely against the very chest she cried again. “Mom…mom…”

“If you’d like to take her to the hospital, I can offer you an escort there.” Spike nodded, and he kissed the top of Buffy’s head.

“Buffy? Look at me, pet.”

“No. No…this isn’t happening.” Spike looked back up at the officer.

“We’ll go later. Thanks for…” Spike’s jaw twitched, and the officer nodded.

“Again, I’m very sorry for your loss. If it’s any consolation, we believe she died on impact. She was probably in very little pain.”

***

Probably in very little pain. That she could remember, just because it sounded like a lie. It frustrated her to no end that she couldn’t remember the officer’s name, and that she couldn’t remember the exact words he’d said when he’d told her her mother had died. Those were things she was supposed to remember vividly, right? Maybe she would ask Spike…someday.

“Buffy,” Willow whispered, taking a seat on the other side of her friend. “Is there anything I can do?” It was going on three in the morning, but Spike had called everyone, and without even a second thought, they’d come over.

“I’m so sorry, Buff,” Xander whispered. “If there’s anything any of us can do, just name it.”

“Yeah. We’re here for you, Buffy,” Cordelia promised. Their words would have been comforting if she wasn’t already numb on the inside. Spike stood slowly and gently lifted Buffy into his arms. He mouthed ‘be right back’ to his friends, took Buffy inside and carried her up the stairs. Cordelia, Willow, and Xander made their way into the living room to wait for Spike.

Upstairs, he sat her on the edge of the bed and slowly lifted her shirt off of her. Her arms flopped down as if she had no strength left, and he unfastened her bra. He retrieved a nightgown from her closet and pulled it over her head. She helped him a little when it came to the arm holes, but that was about all she could try to do.

He laid her back gently on the bed, removed her socks and her pants, and covered her with the blanket. Kneeling at her bedside, he stroked her forehead before placing a kiss there. “Rest now, luv. Close your eyes. I’ll be here if you need me.” She only nodded and blinked once, letting a few tears slip out. “Alright. I’ll see to our friends.” He kissed her forehead one more time and then turned off the light, heading downstairs.

“Is she ok?” Willow asked, brushing her own tears away.

“She’s shaken up. Understandably. Um…” His voice broke. He had to stay strong for her. He couldn’t think of what this meant right now. “Maybe come back tomorrow…she’s gonna need people. She might not know that yet, but she will.” He knew from experience. Sure, he’d been young when his mother died, but it didn’t matter. The pain was still the same.

“They know who it was. Um...my aunt works at the hospital,” Cordelia said quietly. “I know this is totally a breach of contract or whatever, but she said there was a guy brought in with injuries.” Spike’s jaw twitched, and he tried to hold his composure. “Spike, I think…I think Angel was the guy who killed Buffy’s mom.”

***

Buffy slowly opened her eyes when she smelled cooking coming from the kitchen. Her first thought was that she’d dreamed everything, and that her mother was downstairs cooking right now. But the moment she saw Spike’s boots by her closet doors, she realized that that bad dream had been a real life nightmare.

She sat up in bed, and the moment she took a deep breath, nausea hit her, and she rushed to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, she heard tapping on the bathroom door.

“Buffy? Luv? Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” she said hoarsely. “I’ll be down in a minute.” She heard his footsteps retreat, and then she pulled herself together, splashed some water on her face, and took a few deep breaths.

When she finally entered the kitchen downstairs, she saw that Spike had made breakfast for her. Biscuits and gravy, and he’d even made the biscuits from scratch.

“Hey,” he said quietly as she sat down next to him at the table.

“Hey,” she said back.

“I didn’t know if you’d be hungry, but I thought I’d make something just in case. You should eat.”

“Yeah, I know I should.” She poked at her food with her fork before taking a little bite. It tasted great, but she had no appetite.

“It’s ok if you don’t eat it, luv. I understand.” Buffy nodded, and she pushed her plate away and dropped her head into her hands, massaging her temples. Spike reached over and gently rubbed her back. Buffy closed her eyes, thinking of the many times her mother had comforted her with hot chocolate, cheesecake, and words of wisdom after something went wrong. She always knew just the right things to say.

Buffy began to cry, and Spike felt terrible, knowing that all he could really do for her was be there, because this wasn’t something that was going to be easy for her to get over. It was still a shock to him, and it hadn’t completely set in yet.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I wish…I wish…”

“Spike,” she whimpered, turning to look at him. It broke his heart to see those beautiful, sparkling green eyes clouded with tears and pain. “She’s really gone, isn’t she?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Why, Spike? Why is she gone?”

“I…I don’t know, luv. I don’t understand it either.” The lump in his throat was volleyball sized. “I wish there was something I could do.” Buffy blew her nose and dried her eyes. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” Buffy asked softly. “What is it?”

“It’s about the man that…the driver.” Buffy closed her eyes, and she shook her head.

“I know who it was, Spike.” She looked over at him and slowly opened her eyes again. “It was Angel, wasn’t it?”

“I…I think so. I don’t…”

“He’s the reason my mother’s dead.”

Spike swallowed hard. “I don’t know. Cordelia’s aunt works at the hospital, and he was brought in with injuries.” He wondered how she’d react. He thought she might tear herself away from the kitchen and run out the door to seek revenge, but she was scarily still.

“Ok,” she whispered.

“Ok?”

“Yeah. He’s going to pay, right? He’s going to get what he deserves.”

“I’m sure of it, luv.” Spike looked down, and his fork clattered to his plate. “I shouldn’t have provoked him.”

“What?”

“In the parking lot. At The Bronze. If it hadn’t been for me getting in the middle…he wouldn’t have been out there…”

“He’d have been driving anyway, Spike. So stop it. Don’t even think of trying to put the blame on yourself for any of this.” She shook her head again. “No. This isn’t your fault. This is Angel’s fault.” The tears were falling again, and this time, Spike wasn’t certain they were going to stop. “And he’s gonna pay, Spike. He’s gonna pay for what he did.”

The doorbell startled her out of her thoughts, and Spike got up to answer it. When he reached the door, he was surprised to find Hank Summers standing there looking absolutely devastated.

“Hello, Spike.”

“Mr. Summers. I don’t think this is a good time.” He tried to keep his voice low so Buffy wouldn’t here. “She’s not taking it very well at all, and I think seeing you might upset her even more.”

“I just heard,” Hank whispered, his voice shaking. “I didn’t…God, I didn’t think something like this could happen.”

“Well, I’m sorry for your loss, sir, but I need to tend to Buffy right now.” He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter, but it had come out that way.

“I know what you must think of me, Spike. I don’t blame you. I just…I need to see my little girl right now. I need her to know that…”

“Daddy?” Spike turned at the sound of Buffy’s voice. When he looked at her, she looked so much like a lost little girl being reunited with her parents in the middle of the store. Relief and fear mixed into two beautiful eyes.

“Oh, Buffy,” Hank breathed, making his way into the house. “I’m so sorry. The hospital called this morning, and…”

“She’s gone, Dad. She’s…” Looking at him at that moment, she didn’t feel anger or hurt for the things he hadn’t said or the things he had done. She felt like a little girl that needed her daddy, and Spike could see it in her eyes. She needed her father. Despite their differences, she needed him, and from the looks of it, he needed her.

“I know, honey,” he said quietly. “I keep…I keep telling myself it can’t be real. She was such a good woman. She was…and a great mother.” He shook his head, and he watched as Buffy’s shoulders rose and fell with her sobs. “Come here, Buffy. Come here.” From a few steps away, Spike watched Buffy cover her face with her hands and walk right into her father’s secure embrace.

Chapter 19

The next week was a blur. The funeral planning, the phone calls, the actual funeral…it had all been planned with some of her input, but she was running on autopilot. Her father had been by every day, but at night, Spike stayed with her and held her, because he was afraid to leave her alone just yet.

Buffy had stayed home from school that entire week, and Spike had stayed home too.

“You didn’t have to miss school all week just for me.”

“I wanted to be here,” he said quietly. “I knew you needed someone, and with your dad working, I thought…”

“Thank you,” she said gently. “For being here with me. For helping me get through this. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” She looked down at her belly. She was wearing one of her normal, form fitting T-shirts, and there was the very faintest hint of a baby belly beginning to form. She was four weeks pregnant, and she had yet to tell her father about the pregnancy.

“You won’t have to find out,” he assured her. “I’m here for you. Always. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” She blinked back tears. “It’s gonna be ok. I just…I have to get through the bad stuff first. This is just…there’s so much.”

“I know, luv.”

Over the past week, Angel had been released from the hospital and immediately arrested for driving while intoxicated. His father had tried to bail him out, but the judge had ordered Angel to be locked up until statements were issued. Buffy had issued her statement on the events of that night, and so had Spike. She wasn’t sure who else had been questioned, but she was looking forward to putting that awful evening behind her for good.

“You know he’s going to want to take me with him,” Buffy whispered. It was the first time any of them had mentioned it all week. But they both knew. Hank was going to want to take his daughter with him to New York, and she was going to have to leave everything behind. The thought of leaving now was even worse, because she couldn’t stand the thought of giving up the home she’d grown up in or not being able to visit her mother’s grave when she was ready to do so. “He’s leaving soon, Spike.”

“Shh,” Spike assured her. “We’ll deal to that if the time comes.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You can’t. The band…everything, Spike.”

“There’s nothing for me here if you’re gone, Buffy. Oz would understand. And as for college? Right now it’s not looking so good for me.” He caressed her cheek. “I go where you go, ok?”

“You don’t…”

“Yes I do,” he interrupted. “You’re my life, Buffy. You’re all I’ve got, ok?” Buffy closed her eyes, but her tears continued to fall. “I love you, and I’m gonna make sure we stay together.” At that, the doorbell rang, and Buffy glanced at Spike. She was the first one up off the couch, so she answered the door.

“Dad?”

“Hi, honey. Is it ok, my dropping by like this?”

“Yeah. I…I guess that’s ok. Um, come in.” She looked around, surprised that he still hadn’t brought Dawn by, but she was relieved at the same time. She still wasn’t sure she was ready to meet the child quite yet.

“Thanks,” he said graciously, stepping into the house. Spike was still seated on the couch, and Hank gave him a small wave.

“Mr. Summers,” Spike said with a nod. Things had been civil over the past week. Everybody had been stepping on eggshells around Buffy, and while Spike was still worried that Hank might hurt his daughter again, she seemed to be relieved to have him around.

“I came to talk to the both of you,” Hank said quietly. “Spike, I know you’re dating my daughter, so I thought you should hear this too, as it concerns the both of you.”

“Dad? W-what’s going on?”

“Just have a seat, Buffy.” Buffy sat down next to Spike, and Hank pulled up a chair nearby. “As you know, my company transferred me to New York City.” Buffy’s shoulders fell.

“Dad…”

“Just listen, Buffy.” He cleared his throat. “Your mother wanted you to stay here and finish out high school. Then, of course, everything changed.” He felt guilty at the pain in Buffy’s eyes. “I don’t think it would be wise to take you away from home right now. After everything you’ve been through, you need some normalcy.”

“You mean…I can stay?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to go anywhere, Buffy.”

“Oh God,” she breathed. “Thank you so much, Dad.” Hank nodded.

“I told my company I’m not going to New York.”

“What?!”

“I told them that I needed to stay in California. I told them everything that happened, and they agreed. They’re sending a colleague of mine in my place.”

“But Dad…it’s a great opportunity, and…”

“And I can take it some other time, Buffy. I’m staying in Sunnydale.” He cleared his throat. “Only there’s one thing…”

“What?”

“I don’t know how you feel about this, but I don’t feel comfortable with you staying here by yourself. I know Spike has his own apartment. I want to move back in, Buffy. Either that, or I want you to move into my place.”

“Dad…”

“I don’t want you to be alone. You’re still seventeen, you don’t have a job, and you need to concentrate on school before worrying about anything else.” Buffy and Spike shared surprised glances.

“I don’t want to leave my home, Dad. I grew up here. This was Mom’s house too, and…” She sighed heavily. As angry as she’d been with her father in the past, she knew that if she agreed to let him move in, he’d be more cooperative with other things in the future. She hoped, anyway. “You…you can use Mom’s sewing room for Dawn if you want. She’ll need a place to stay.”

“Are you sure about this, Buffy?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I? I can’t make mortgage payments. I can’t…”

“Ok,” Hank said quietly. “I don’t want to push anything on you. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I want you to feel safe.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said quietly. She glanced at Spike and he nodded to her. “In that case, I need to tell you something. Mom knew…I just hadn’t gotten around to telling you yet.”

“What is it?” Hank wondered. Buffy sighed heavily looked at Spike.

“I’m pregnant. Spike and I…we’re having a baby.” She glanced back at her father who looked as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly.

“You’re…what?”

“I know it’s scary. I know I’m young. But I’m about four weeks along, and…and Mom was freaked, but she said I could stay here. If you don’t want me to, I can move in with Spike, and…”

“No,” Hank said quietly. “I’m…I’m not going to tell you I’m thrilled, because I’m not, but you’re still my little girl, and…and…”

“Dad, it’s ok. You can yell.”

“No. I can’t. I don’t think I have much of a right to yell about anything right now. Four weeks…that puts you getting pregnant around the time your mother and I told you about the divorce.” He shook his head. “Well, now I suppose I know how you dealt with it.”

“Mr. Summers,” Spike interjected, “I’m going to take care of her. I’m not going to walk away, and I want you to know that. I’m not leaving.”

“I hope that’s true, Spike.” Hank stood up. “I…I need to get home to Dawn. I need to think about this.”

“Dad?”

“Sweetheart, I’m not angry with you. I’m just…”

“Disappointed.”

“I don’t know. After everything that’s happened, I’m not sure that my teenaged daughter being pregnant is the end of the world.” He placed his hands on her shoulder. “You’ve always been strong, Buffy. And I’m gonna try to be strong too, ok?” Buffy nodded slowly. “Everything that’s happened…I’m gonna try to make it up to you.”

Buffy couldn’t say anything. He’d taken it much better than she’d expected, though he had a point. After the week they’d had, it was obvious there were worse things than an almost eighteen year old being pregnant.

“I’ll call you in the morning, ok? We’ll make plans.”

“Ok,” Buffy said quietly. “Good night.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

When Hank was gone, Buffy turned to Spike who looked quite surprised.

“Wasn’t expecting that,” he said slowly. “Figured he might somehow conjure up a shot gun and put a hole in my chest.”

“I know. I kinda expected him to freak out, but I guess he has a point. With mom being gone now…my being pregnant isn’t…well…it’s still scary, but…well, you know what I mean.”

“I do,” he said softly.

“And that’s why I love you so much.” Buffy pulled her arms around Spike and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, pet. Always will.”

***

On Saturday morning, after Buffy had talked to her father on the phone for about an hour, making plans for his move back home, she and Spike took off to spend the day together having fun. They were currently seated in his car, driving downtown, heading off toward the park to take a walk. It was probably one of the last nice days of the season, and they wanted to enjoy every minute of it.

“Are you sure you’re ok with your dad coming back? Especially with Dawn?”

“I really don’t have much of a choice. I’m angry with him for what happened, but he’s the only parent I have left, and he does love me.” She sighed heavily. “This doesn’t make any sense, Spike. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

“Nothing ever turns out the way we expect it too.” He squeezed her hand.

“You haven’t heard back from your dad?”

“I don’t think there was much else for him to say aside from cutting me off,” Spike muttered. “Got a show tonight, and they expect a big crowd, so I should get paid pretty well.”

“Spike,” Buffy said softly, “maybe you should try talking to him again.”

“Talking to him about what? About how he has to give me money because I’m his son? You’re lucky your father’s willing to move home and help you out. After the divorce, my father apparently turned into the world’s largest prick. Wrote me checks every month, and he thought that counted as good parenting.” He cleared his throat and looked at Buffy, who was now staring out the window. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m ok.”

“I’m sorry, luv. I shouldn’t pour all this out on you right now.”

“No, it’s ok. I don’t mind. Really.” She placed her hand on his knee. “I know you know what I’m going through. You’ve been here.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, placing his hand over hers. “I’m gonna make you a promise, Buffy.”

“A promise?”

“Yeah.” He kept his eyes on the road. “No matter what, our baby is never gonna have to wonder if his parents love him or if they care. He’s always going to have us. We might not have a lot of money, and we might not know what the bloody hell we’re doing, but we’ll make it work, because we’re a family.”

“Family,” Buffy murmured, smiling sadly and leaning back against the seat. She’d never had to think about her family without her mother before. All of those images of her first baby baking cookies with grandma or dancing around goofily with grandma as she’d done with her mother as a child were all gone. “Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“If it’s a girl…I’d like to name her after my mom.”

“Joyce?”

“No,” Buffy smiled. “My mom once told me she didn’t really like her name as a kid. She insisted people call her ‘Joy’ until she was fifteen.”

“Joy Pratt,” Spike said with a smile. “I like that. So you think it’s a girl?”

“I don’t know yet. My gut tells me it’s a boy, but of course, that could be the morning sickness.” She grinned a little, and Spike’s heart swelled. He loved seeing her smile. He knew there were going to be good days and bad, but he was going to help her through it. That was a promise he made to himself.

Chapter 20

“Are you sure you’ll be ok?” he asked her as he stood outside the door to her house.

“Yeah. I think this is something I have to do alone, you know? Tell Oz and Jesse I said hi, ok?”

“Alright, luv. I’ll see you soon, ok?” Buffy nodded and she leaned in to kiss Spike gently.

“Bye.” She watched him walk out to his car, get in, and pull off down the street. Within moments, another car was pulling up in the spot Spike’s had just been parked in. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, counted to five, and prepared herself to meet the one person she wasn’t sure she would ever be truly ready to meet. But this was happening, and there was no way around it.

Hank held the hand of a little girl with waist length brown hair. Her eyes—Buffy could see the child’s eyes from fifteen feet away—sparkled blue. They were blue, but they were Summers’ eyes. She watched the child chew nervously on her bottom lip and look shyly at the ground as she followed Hank up the steps. Buffy realized in that moment that she was chewing her bottom lip too.

“Dawn,” Hank said softly, in a voice Buffy hadn’t heard since she was that age, a voice that promised happiness and protection from all the bad things in the world. “Dawn, this is Buffy.” Hank looked up at Buffy. “She’s your sister. Can you tell her hi for me?” Dawn continued looking down at the ground, shuffling her feet that were stuffed into shiny, black Mary Janes. “She’s a little shy.” Buffy smiled a little, and she realized that she was gripping the door frame. She took a deep breath and slowly knelt down.

“Hi, Dawn.” The little girl slowly looked up, and she saw Buffy giving her a tentative smile, and she smiled back a little and then looked down.

“Hi.” Her voice was so soft, but those eyes carried a hint of mischief behind them. Good God, this really was her sister.

“Would you like to come in? I have cookies and milk in the kitchen.” Dawn looked up at her father, and he gave her a little nod.

“Ok,” Dawn said with a little shrug. Buffy stood up, releasing a breath she’d been holding, and she stepped out of the way so Dawn and Hank could come in.

“The kitchen’s all the way in the back. You can help yourself.”

“Thanks, Buffy.” Dawn gave her a two-missing-front-teeth grin and hurried into the kitchen. Hank placed his hand on his eldest daughter’s shoulder.

“Thank you for doing this, Buffy.”

“Well, we’re gonna be living together, so I guess I better get to know her, huh?”

“I know this isn’t the idea situation, but…I’m grateful that you’re willing to try to make it work.” Buffy nodded.

“There’s a lot to get through, but we’re each other’s family, right?” Buffy asked. Hank cocked his head to the side.

“Of course we are, Buffy. I’m sorry I ever made you question that. You’re my daughter, and nothing’s ever going to change that. What happened between your mother and me…and with Dawn’s mom…that was never about you. It was never about hurting you.” Buffy nodded.

“Yeah. Is she ok in there? I mean, can she reach over the counter? I should go help her.” Buffy ducked her head a little and moved around her father. When she reached the kitchen, Dawn was sitting on one of the counter stools and already had chocolate smeared on her cheek. Buffy couldn’t help but smile. This kid had no idea about what her existence meant in Buffy’s life, but she was just a kid. It wasn’t her fault she’d been born into this…this mess of a situation.

“Is the milk still cold? I poured it a few minutes ago.”

“Uh huh. It’s good. Do you have chocolate syrup?”

“Oh. Yeah, um, I think so. Let me check.” Buffy opened up the fridge and pulled the brown bottle from the door shelf. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“I liked chocolate milk when I was little too.” She slowly sat down next to her. She could see Hank lingering in the front hall. She knew he was giving them time.

“Buffy?” Dawn asked after she finished her first cookie.

“Huh?”

“If you’re really my sister,” she began, those big, blue eyes looking up at Buffy, wide with curiosity, “why didn’t we live in the same house?”

“Oh,” Buffy stammered, “your…I mean, Dad didn’t explain that to you?”

“He used some big words.”

“Oh,” Buffy smiled. “Um, well it’s kinda compli…hard to understand. See, I was born a long time before you. Before Dad met your mom.”

“Oh,” Dawn said with a slow nod. “Daddy told me that your mommy died.” Buffy flinched at that.

“Yeah, she did.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“I miss my mommy too. She didn’t die though. She just moved away.”

“Yeah, I know,” Buffy said quietly. “Um…so…you’re…five, right?”

“Uh-huh. I’m in kindergarten. My teacher’s name is Miss Calendar. She’s really nice and really pretty.”

“You like school?”

“Uh huh. I like to color. I drew a pony last week, and daddy put it on the fridge. He says we’re moving here. Can I put my pony picture on your fridge, Buffy?” The little girl took another bite of cookie, and Buffy felt a tug in her chest.

“Yeah. This…this’ll be your house too, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna go talk to Dad for a minute. Will you be ok by yourself?”

“I’m not a baby. I’m five.” The little girl held up her hand with all five fingers stretched out.

“Sorry. I haven’t been five for a long time.”

“It’s ok. Daddy still treats me like I’m still a baby. I’m used to it.” Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Ok. Um, I’ll be back.”

“’Kay.” Buffy turned and headed back out into the hall. Hank turned to her.

“Did you girls have a good talk?”

“She’s…wow. She reminds me of me.”

“Yeah, she has your eyes. They’re blue, but they’re yours.”

“She really does.” Buffy couldn’t help but feel the tears prickling up again.

“Buffy? If you’re not ok with this, we can make other arrangements. I can…I can move closer, I can make the payments on the house…”

“No, she’s…she’s just a kid, Dad. She needs a family, you know?”

“You don’t have to do this, Buffy. I know you just lost your mom, and…this can’t be easy for you.”

“You’re right. It’s not, but I don’t want her to have to grow up not knowing who her family is. She doesn’t deserve that.”

Hank nodded, and he let out a sigh of relief.

“Ok then. So…we’ll start packing, and we’ll move in next weekend, ok?”

“Yeah. That’s…that’s good. Spike’ll stay with me until then.”

“Buffy…”

“Dad, don’t lecture me. I’m already pregnant. What else is gonna happen, really?” Hank frowned a little. “What?”

“You’re just so…cavalier about the whole thing.”

“Sorry,” Buffy muttered. “I guess I’ve had a little longer to think about it than you have. Believe me, I’m not…cavalier about it at all. I’m still pretty freaked. But whatever happens, happens because it’s supposed to. Right?”

“Right,” Hank nodded. “Alright. Um, I’ll get Dawn, and we’ll be out of your hair.”

“It’s ok, Dad. You…you could hang out for a little while, if you want. I’ve still got some of the movies I watched when I was a kid. Dawn might like them.” Hank looked up at his daughter in surprise.

“You’re sure?”

Buffy took a moment to ponder this, and she shrugged a little.

“Yeah. Why not?”

***

“Is the party still on?” Oz asked, taking a sip of water as the band took a break from practice. Spike wiped the sweat from his own brown and leaned back against the wall.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I just thought that maybe…well, after everything…it’s coming up soon, and everybody’s kind of wondering if she’d feel up to it.”

“She’s up to it,” Spike said with a nod. “I think it’s important for her to have this party. I mean, everybody’s walking on eggshells around her. She’s starting back to school on Monday, and I don’t think she wants people to treat her like she’s…like she’s gonna break or something.”

“Noted,” Oz said with a nod. “So, I guess we’ll keep making plans for the big extravaganza.”

“Good,” Spike said with a nod. He glanced over at the tables that were scattered throughout The Bronze. Most of the chairs were still up on the table, but one table near the door was cleared off, and a man sat there jotting something down in a folder. “Who’s he?”

“Who?”

“That bloke, back there near the exit.”

Oz peered across the room and then shook his head.

“Oh, that guy. Some talent scout. Comes in here once a month, watches the bands practice, writes down some notes and leaves.”

“Talent scout?”

“Yeah. I don’t remember his name, but he’s made a few people pretty famous. Actually offered Devon a contract, but his parents wouldn’t let him sign.”

“Why not?”

“They want Devon to have an education. He wouldn’t have much time for that if he made it big in Hollywood.”

“Yeah, but he’d have money,” Spike said with a shrug.

“I guess it doesn’t matter to his parents. They think he needs a…a respectable career or something.”

“They must not have to worry about money then,” Spike muttered.

“Hey, don’t worry about that, man. We’re bound to make some good cash playing tonight.”

“Right,” Spike said with a sober nod. “Guess we better get back to practicing then, yeah?” Oz nodded, and they both stood and headed back to the stage.

Chapter 21

Buffy leaned against the sink in the bathroom between classes. She’d felt sick at the end of last period, asked to be excused early, and rushed to the bathroom, which thankfully, was just across the hall. She’d been back to school for about a week, and thought she was still catching up, it was nice to feel like a normal person again, save for the horrible morning sickness and the fact that every time she walked down the hall, whispers bounced off the lockers and people stared, mostly out of sympathy, but also out of curiosity, because she was starting to show just a little, and soon, there would be no doubt about her condition.

Just as she was about to walk out of the bathroom, one of the stall doors opened. She froze. She’d thought she was alone. But when Drusilla Lewis stepped out, face pale, eyes wide, as if she was just as surprised to see Buffy, Buffy couldn’t help but feel a pain in her chest as she remembered helping Spike haul Dru home after getting beat up on by Angel, who later that night T-boned her mother’s car, killing her instantly.

“Hello, Buffy.”

“Don’t talk to me,” Buffy seethed, picking up her books from the little shelf by the mirror. She started to walk out, but Dru called to her again.

“Buffy, wait.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Dru. Nothing that’s going to help.”

“He’s going to prison, Buffy. There’s no doubt about that. They’re saying it could be three years.”

“Yeah,” Buffy murmured. “Three years, and then he’ll be out on the streets again, free to ruin as many lives as he possibly can.”

“Buffy,” Dru said quickly, stepping toward her. Buffy couldn’t help but look into Dru’s eyes. What was that she saw there? Fear? Desperation? “I visited him, and he feels terrible…”

“Good,” Buffy spat. “I hope he feels like that until the day he dies, which couldn’t come soon enough.” She looked Dru over. “I don’t know why you’re so upset. That son of a bitch treated you like a dog. And you let him.”

“I love him.”

“You liked the attention, Dru,” Buffy said, shaking her head furiously. “It was negative attention, but it was still attention. Take my advice. Get over him. He’s going to jail. I suggest you deal with that.” She turned and walked away, and Dru placed her hand over her mouth, ran back into the stall, and threw up for the third time that morning.

***

It was amazing, really, how much had changed in such a short time. The landscape of the lunch table had changed slightly. Oz and Willow were going strong, but they were now being more publically affectionate, holding hands and kissing when Snyder wasn’t around. The most surprising thing, however, was the fact that Cordelia and Xander, at this very minute, were making out as if there was nobody else around.

Spike had explained that apparently Cordelia had taunted Xander into yet another spat, and somewhere in between her telling him to grow up and him telling her to run home to daddy and cry like the spoiled brat she was, they had found themselves in the back hall of The Bronze groping and kissing. They’d been together ever since, and apparently a love of kissing was something they both shared. And shared a lot.

“So, um, Spike,” Buffy grinned, feeling suddenly like part of an old married couple that didn’t have that spark anymore, though she knew the spark was still there, and that was more than obvious in the middle of the night when she’d wake to him kissing her eyelids and stroking her softly under the blankets. Yeah, they had nothing to worry about in that department, but seeing Oz and Willow and then Xander and Cordy off in couple heaven made Buffy feel a little disconnected from the table.

“Hmm?” He popped a french fry into his mouth.

“I don’t know. I was trying to drown out the sound of the Kissingtons sucking face.”

“Hmmpfh?” Xander asked, breaking apart from Cordelia for a second. “Did you say something, Buff?” Buffy just rolled her eyes. She started to say something, but a wave of nausea passed over her. She put her hand over her mouth, hopped up from her chair and bolted for the bathroom.

“What was that all about?” Cordelia asked.

“Um, must’ve eaten something bad.”

“You’re eating off her tray, man,” Xander pointed out. “You feel ok?”

“Um…matter of fact, not really,” Spike lied.

“I better go check on her.” Cordelia stood up, but Spike stood too.

“She’s ok, I’m sure of it.”

“Ok, Mr. Psychic, but I’d like to check on her for myself. Willow? Coming with?”

“Um,” Willow said quietly, knowing that Buffy was perfectly fine and suffering from the effects of her secret pregnancy. “No, I’m good.”

“Ok, then, since I seem to be the only one that cares if my friend is sick or not, I’ll go myself.” She rolled her eyes and hurried off. Spike sighed and sat down at the table, running his fingers through his hair.

“What’s going on?” Xander wondered. “You guys have been acting really weird, and…”

“S’nothing, mate,” Spike assured him.

“You’re lying to me, Spike. I can tell. What’s going on?”

“Really, Xander,” Willow interrupted, “it’s…”

“Don’t tell me it’s nothing. If it was nothing, you wouldn’t have to keep it a secret. This has been going on since before Buffy’s mom died, so I know it’s not related to that. What the Hell is going on, Spike? Buffy’s my friend, and I think I deserve to know if she’s sick, or if she’s…is there something wrong with her?”

“She’s fine,” Spike assured him.

“Then what is it?”

Spike sighed heavily and looked at Willow, who gave him a little shrug.

“If I tell you this, you can’t say a word to anybody. And if you do? I’ll personally stuff you into your own locker, smash in the lock, and refuse your release unless you can come up with a way to turn back time and unsay what you hypothetically said.”

“I don’t even know if I followed that,” Xander said slowly. “Buffy’s my friend, and I’m not gonna go around blabbing her secrets. I just…I need to know that she’s ok.”

“She’s pregnant, Xander.”

“She’s what now?”

“Buffy and I are having a baby.” Spike looked around, hoping to God nobody heard. Buffy would kill him if anybody else were to find out just yet. And to Spike’s surprise, the only sound that came to his ears next was that of Xander’s laughter.

“She’s…oh, that’s funny, man. Now what is it? What’s really going on?” Spike folded his hands, raised his eyebrows and stared at Xander. “Oh. Oh shit. You’re not kidding about this. Jesus.”

“You can’t tell anyone, alright?”

“But…how long…”

“Going in on six weeks,” Spike guesstimated.

“Oh my God,” Xander murmured. “This is…this is huge!”

“No. It’s really not,” Spike said quickly, trying to calm Xander before his surprise got the best of him. “And if you say a word, I’m gonna make good on my promise.”

“Ok. I won’t say anything. I just…oh my God, man. What are you gonna do?”

“We’re handling it.”

“You mean…”

“Not that.”

“Oh. Ok. Well…I’ll help you guys if you need anything. Hey! Your kid can call me Uncle Xander.”

“Swell.”

“Ok, here they come,” Willow interrupted. “So, shh!” Cordelia’s face was pale, almost as pale as Buffy’s. When she sat down, her eyes were round and filled with shock. She looked at Spike and then at Buffy, who looked at Spike and then at Xander.

“Did you tell him?”

“Did you tell her?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

“So everyone knows?” Willow asked.

“Well, just the group of us, and it’s not getting out to anyone else until I’m ready for it to, got it?” Buffy asked.

“Sure, Buff. Whatever you say. We’re…we’re gonna support you, you know that, right?” Xander asked, reaching over to pat his friend’s hand.

“Thanks, Xander.”

“Are you ok?” Cordelia asked gently. “I mean, after everything you’ve gone through…”

“I’m actually pretty scared, but Spike’s helping me through it, and my Dad…he didn’t kill either of us when we told him, so that’s a big plus.”

“Yeah,” Cordelia said quietly. “But you’re doing better? I mean, every day you seem a little happier.”

“Well, some days are harder than others, but I’m doing ok. My dad knew it’d be better if I finished school here instead of in New York. I didn’t want to leave. I still don’t. My Mom wouldn’t have wanted me to go, and I have no reason to go to New York.” She shrugged. “I’m happy here. I know it sounds weird, but I feel better being here, because I’m close to my mom.”

“That’s not weird,” Willow urged. She looked around the group, realizing that if she continued with that, they’d be going down the path of a sad conversation, which wasn’t exactly what Buffy needed right now. “If you don’t want to leave, you shouldn’t have to.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m here, and I’m focusing on the good things.” She smiled a little. “I keep telling myself that’s what my mom would have wanted, and I’m pretty sure it’s true.”

***

While Buffy had thought that the days following the loss of someone you love would pass by slowly, she was surprised to find out that in her case, it was exactly the opposite. Because it was officially her eighteenth birthday, which made it seem a little sexy and maybe a little awkward that for the next three days, she would be older than Spike.

The party was being held at The Bronze, and the guest list was small. Buffy and Spike both liked it that way. Just a small gathering of friends, though Buffy knew she had a birthday cake waiting for her back at home from her dad and Dawn. She just wasn’t exactly in a place where she wanted to pretend to be a happy family when she was still getting adjusted to having a little sister in the house.

“Having a good time, luv?” Spike wondered, holding Buffy close as they danced to a slow song. Devon, who had bowed out of the band early, was reprising his role as lead singer for tonight only, so that Spike could enjoy his birthday party and not have to also be the entertainment. The guys had already decided to take the money Xander, Cordelia, and Willow had piled together to pay for the band and give it to Buffy and Spike as a joint birthday present.

“I am,” she said with a swoon-inducing smile that told Spike that if he played his cards right, she’d leave her window open for him tonight. She left her window open most nights, except for the nights she genuinely forgot, but he’d just tap on the glass, and she’d let him in.

“Good,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her. “Feeling alright?”

“Yeah. I guess I’m lucky that my morning sickness is only morning and all day sickness, and not night sickness.” Spike chuckled, leaned in and kissed her. “Wow, you’re the best boyfriend ever.”

“What?”

“I talk about puking my guts out all day, and you kiss me anyway.”

“You taste minty.”

“Mouthwash. It fixes a lot,” she giggled. She hugged him and they swayed to the music for a few minutes before Buffy spoke again. “Who’s that?”

“Huh?”

“Over there?” She pulled back and nodded toward the door. Spike peered over to see the talent scout he’d seen earlier that month.

“Talent scout. Must’ve heard Devon was playing against tonight. I’ll be right back.” Buffy nodded and went over to the snack table for something to eat.

“Can I help you, mate?” Spike asked, stepping up in front of the older gentleman. He sure didn’t look like a talent scout. He wore a suit and a tie, glasses, and he looked very much like a librarian. “This is a private party.”

“I’m very sorry,” the man said in a thick, English accent. “You’re a member of this band, are you not?”

“Yeah, but this is partly my party, so I’m off the hook tonight. Your boy Devon came back for one last hurrah.”

“My…boy?”

“Oz said you’d offered Devon a contract before.”

“Well, I offered for him to meet with people who could give him a contract, yes. I also work as a manager.”

“Oh,” Spike said slowly. “Well, as you can see, this party’s a member’s only kinda thing, if you get my meaning. Just a small gathering of friends.”

“Yes, well, I apologize for intruding.”

“No harm done, mate.” Spike turned to walk away, but he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I heard you perform earlier this month, and I liked what I heard.” He held out a card. “My name is Rupert Giles. I’ll keep in touch.” Then he was gone. Spike looked down at the card in his hand. It looked legit, but there was no way in Hell this guy could be for real. This was Sunnydale of all places, and Spike had never had an ounce of good luck in his life, except when it came to finally getting the girl of his dreams.

“What’d he say?” Buffy asked, coming up behind him. Spike shook his head, putting the card in his pocket.

“Nothing important, luv.” The music changed, and Spike cocked his head to the side. “You love this song, right? C’mon. Dance with me.” Buffy grinned and grabbed Spike’s hand, leading him back out to the dance floor, all thoughts of the talent scout forgotten.

Chapter 22

“From the looks of this, you’re definitely measuring at eight weeks,” Dr. Bennett said with a little smile. Buffy was in the midst of her first prenatal appointment, and Spike had been brought in to witness their baby’s first ultrasound.

“Everything looks ok?”

“Everything looks great, Buffy.”

Dr. Bennett was a very pleasant woman, which was good, because Buffy wasn’t sure she’d want some stuffy, unpleasant doctor looking at her most private parts.

“The baby’s growing normally, and you’ve been taking the prenatal vitamins I prescribed for you?”

“Uh-huh. Though I think I’ve thrown almost all of them up.”

“How is your nausea?”

“It’s getting better. It comes mostly in the morning now, which is good, because throwing up at school sucks when nobody knows what’s wrong with you.” She frowned and looked at Spike. “But I think most people have a hunch.”

“Well, most people like to wait until they’re out of their first trimester to start telling people, so if that’s your plan, you won’t have to wait much longer.”

“Looks like we won’t be sending out a Christmas card with any happy announcements this year,” Buffy murmured. Christmas was a week away, and she was very much looking forward to spending it alone with Spike. Well, not completely alone. Hank and Dawn would be there, but they had places to go, people to visit, and Buffy opted out so she could spend her first Christmas as Spike’s girlfriend wrapped in his arms.

“What’s that little flicker?” Spike wondered, gazing at the screen.

“That? That’s the baby’s heartbeat. Here…” Spike and Buffy, uncertain what the doctor did, as they couldn’t pry their eyes away from the monitor, soon heard the fast swishing sound of their unborn child’s heartbeat.

“Oh my God. It’s so fast!” Buffy exclaimed.

“Everything sounds great, Buffy. Just read over the pamphlets I gave you at the beginning of the exam, and make sure you’re taking those vitamins every day.”

“Will do, Dr. Bennett.” Dr. Bennett printed off a couple of pictures for the expectant parents and then turned off the machine. She handed Buffy a towel to wipe the ultrasound jelly off with.

“So how’s school going, Buffy?”

“I’m caught up. Spike and my friend Willow really helped me out.”

“I was so sorry to hear about your mother’s accident.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. She looked over at Spike, and he gave her a little nod. Just last week, the judge had released Angel, permanently revoked his license, and he was on house arrest until his trial. Needless to say, Angel O’Connor would not be graduating from Sunnydale High School.

“Your father’s moved back home, right?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t really matter now. I’m eighteen, and Spike and I are going to get a place together when we can afford it.”

“Well, it’s good that you have your father’s support.”

“Yeah.”

“Everything’s going alright there?”

“It’s alright,” she shrugged. “I keep telling myself it’s going to be ok, and sometimes I think it will be. Other times…” She frowned and glanced at Spike before looking at the doctor. “So is that everything?”

“Yes. Just show the receptionist your father’s insurance card on your way out, and you’ll be all set.”

“Alright. Thank you, Dr. Bennett.” The doctor handed her the first scans of Baby Summers-Pratt, and the two were on their way.

***

When Buffy and Spike arrived back at the house, Hank was rushing around, attempting to put on a tie.

“Dad? What’s going on?”

“Oh, Buffy! Thank God you’re home. Do you and Spike have plans tonight?”

“We were just gonna watch movies. Why?”

“Well, I hate to ask, but my boss called me in for an important meeting. Could you watch her for a couple of hours?” Buffy’s eyes widened.

“You mean, leave me alone with her?”

“Not completely alone. Spike’s here.” Buffy looked at Spike and then back at her father.

“Dad, I’m cool with you guys living here and everything but…I’m not sure I’m the best babysitter…”

“Sure you are, honey. She adores you. I can always take her with me. But she wouldn’t be any trouble. She’s playing with her toys upstairs, and…” Buffy sighed heavily.

“When do you have to leave?”

“Three minutes ago.” He gave her a sheepish frown, and she slumped her shoulders.

“Ok. I’ll do it. Just…hurry back, ok?” She’d never thought she’d say that to her father again, but the thought of babysitting her sister was kind of scary. Sure, they’d been sharing a roof for about a month, but she barely knew the kid. She wasn’t sure how good of an idea it had been to agree to this.

“Thank you, Buffy. I owe you one.” And then he was gone. Buffy groaned, and Spike pulled his arms around her.

“Look at the bright side, pet. We can practice for when our own bitty baby comes along.”

“Yeah, but ours, God willing, won’t come out old enough to talk back and throw temper tantrums when they don’t get a snack before bedtime.” Spike grinned a little.

“It’ll be fun, luv.”

“Yeah, because Dawn thinks you’re cute.”

“She does, does she?”

“Yeah,” Buffy giggled, as she and Spike moved into the living room and sat down on the couch. “She was playing in her room the other day, and I peeked in. She had a pillow case on her head, and she was pretending to get married. And guess what her groom’s name was?”

“That’s sweet,” Spike chuckled. “But I think I prefer her big sis. Much more my age.” Buffy grinned and rewarded him with a kiss. She curled up with him on the couch and watched as he flipped through the channels.

“Bloody MTV. Shouldn’t a station called Music Television have actual music? Sodding reality television.”

“My mom hated it too,” Buffy pointed out.

“I remember that,” Spike chuckled.

“Except she loved The Bachelorette. Probably ‘cause of all the half-naked hunks. It used to piss my dad off.” She smiled at the memory of her father playfully turning the channel when her mother wasn’t paying attention. They’d argue playfully, and then Joyce would assure her husband that he was the only man for her. God, those were the days.

“I miss watching Passions with your mum. ‘Course they had to take it off the air. Just when it was getting good, too.”

“Oh God. You guys and your soap operas. You could have found something a little less…out there. I mean, witches and living dolls? Seriously? How far-fetched is that?”

“Hey, Samantha was a witch.”

“Huh?”

“You know. Samantha. Bewitched? Hello…”

“You know her name,” Buffy giggled. “That’s cute.”

“Was classic. I used to have a crush on her.”

“You and your blonde women,” Buffy laughed. “Bet you had a thing for Jeanie too?”

“Well…”

“Well, I know what to dress up as for Halloween next year. Well, maybe not next year, because that’ll be what…three months after I have the baby? I don’t think I’ll be wearing midriffs at that point.” Buffy placed her hand on her stomach, and her smile turned into a frown. “I wish my mom were here. I was scared before, but knowing she was going to be around made me feel better, you know? She was such a good mom. I wish…I wish I’d appreciated her more, you know?”

“She knew you loved her, Buffy.”

“I said some really bad things to her, Spike. I acted out when I found out about Dawn. I accused her of lying to me…and…”

“She knew you were hurting, luv. We all say things we regret. It comes with being human.” Buffy frowned and placed her hand on his cheek, peering into his eyes.

“Are you sure you’re eighteen? You sound like you speak from experience.”

“Mmm, my regret only comes from what I didn’t say, and that’d be telling you how I felt much sooner.”

“You? I don’t recall you pouring your heart out like some blithering idiot.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m the one that blurted out that I was falling in love with you…after I said we should just stay friends.”

“That’s right,” Spike chuckled. “That was the night your mum almost caught us.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said softly. She reached over for the remote and turned off the TV. She then peered up at him as she lay wrapped in his arms. “Do you remember when we were like six or seven, and we decided to surprise my mom with homemade chocolate chip cookies?”

“Bloody hell,” Spike laughed. “How long were you grounded for?”

“I don’t know. I think for a month, but she still let you come over and play.”

“Your mum,” he grinned, “she made the best cocoa I ever tasted. Always put those little marshmallows in it.”

“Yeah. And if you didn’t get enough, you’d scoop mine out while I wasn’t looking!”

“Did not!”

“Oh yes you did,” she laughed, tickling him. “I’d get mad at tell my mom, and she wouldn’t even take sides. I was her own daughter! Uch, sometimes I think she liked you better than me.”

“Well, up until she found out I’m the one who put you in this predicament.” He placed his hand on her tummy.

“Yeah, well, mom wasn’t exactly sure how to handle the news. I can’t say I blamed her. I mean, finding out your seventeen year old daughter’s gonna have a baby…God, she was so disappointed.”

“Didn’t change the way she felt about you, though.”

“I know,” Buffy said with a little nod. Her lower lip quivered a little. “I miss her so much, Spike. Sometimes I feel like…like I don’t miss her enough, and it makes me feel guilty. Other times, I miss her so much that it hurts.”

“I know, luv. It’s gonna take time. Don’t think these things can ever really be gotten over.”

“Daddy?” came a call from upstairs. Buffy and Spike glanced at each other, and then Buffy was hurrying over to the stairs.

“Dad’s had to go to the office, Dawnie. Is everything ok?” Dawn nodded as she descended the stairs.

“What’re you doing?”

“Watching TV with Spike.” She saw Dawn’s eyes light up.

“Spike’s here?!”

“Yeah,” Buffy chuckled, winking at Spike.

“Can I watch with you guys?”

“Why don’t you pick out a movie, Dawnie?”

“Aladdin!” Dawn insisted.

“Again? You watched it two nights ago,” Spike pointed out.

“And twice this afternoon,” Buffy groaned. “Can’t we watch something else?”

“I wanna watch Aladdin,” Dawn urged. “Please?”

“Oh, fine,” Buffy murmured, turning on the DVD player. The disc was still in the player from that afternoon. Dawn hurried over to the couch and sat next to Spike. Shaking her head, Buffy moved over to sit on Dawn’s other side. “After this, you need to get a bath and go to bed, ok?”

“Ok,” Dawn yawned. The movie started, and the three sat in silence watching Dawn’s favorite movie.

***

About halfway through, Dawn had fallen asleep.

“Should we wake her up? Put her in her pajamas?”

“Oh God, no,” Buffy warned. “If she wakes up, she’ll wanna stay up longer.”

“Ok,” Spike agreed. “I’ll take her up to her room. Can’t very well let her sleep on the couch all night, especially when I’ve already made plans to ravage you on it.”

“Bad!” Buffy teased. He curled his tongue behind his teeth, and she blushed.

“C’mere Little Bit.” He hoisted Dawn into his arms and carried the sleeping girl up to her room. Buffy and Hank had done a pretty good job decorating Joyce’s sewing room to suit the preferences of a five-year-old girl. Everything was pink. From the carpet down to the light switches. “Sleep tight.”

Buffy leaned against the door frame and watched as Spike tucked her little sister in for the night, covering her up to keep her warm.

When he stepped out into the hall, he started to shut the door but stopped before it was fully closed. Dawn sometimes had bad dreams, and if she woke to find her door completely shut, she’d freak out. It had already happened a few times since she’d moved in.

“Think she’s down for the count,” Spike offered, taking Buffy’s hand in his. She smiled a little and hugged him. “What’s that for?”

“I dunno. Just because.” She smiled at him, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed his nose. He chuckled, and nodded toward her room.

“We don’t have to go downstairs, y’know.”

“No! Are you kidding me? My dad would kill me. And Dawn’s a light sleeper, at least until she’s been out a couple hours. You’ll just have to wait.” Spike sighed but followed her down the stairs.

“Can’t wait ‘til we have a place of our own. You know you could move in with me now.”

“Your place is fine for two people, but we’re not gonna be a two-person family for very long.” She sighed softly as they made their way back to the couch. “As much as I’d love to move in with you right now, things are slowly coming together between me and my dad. I wanna try and make things work before I move out, you know?”

“Think that’s pretty mature of you, luv.”

“Yeah, well, I’m growing,” she grinned, leaning against him on the couch. Spike lay back on the couch, and Buffy curled up against him, and they fell asleep watching the rest of Dawn’s favorite movie.

Chapter 23

Buffy woke to the sound of keys unlocking the front door. She gently shook Spike to wake him and crawled off of him before her father could walk in.

She met him at the door and greeted him with a smile.

“Hey, honey. Is Dawn sleeping?”

“Yeah, Dad. She’s been down for the count for a couple hours.”

“My meeting ran a little long. She wasn’t any trouble, was she?”

“Nope,” Buffy said with a shake of her head. “I’m gonna go to Spike’s for the night.” Hank furrowed his brows.

“You have plans this late?”

“Not plans, exactly, Dad. Please don’t ask questions, because you really won’t wanna know the answers.”

“Got it,” Hank said, making a little face. “Ok, see you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Night, Dad.”

“Night, sweetheart.” He ducked his head into the living room. “Night, Spike.”

“Mr. Summers,” Spike said with a little nod. Buffy grinned at Spike and took his hand, ushering him out the door and down the side walk to the car. The moment they got to the car, Buffy had him pressed against the side, and her hands were threading through his hair, catching him off guard when her lips crushed against his. He moaned softly and then slowly pushed her back.

“Sorry,” she grinned. “Wanted to do that all night.”

“S’alright, kitten, but if you keep that up, we might not make it back to the apartment without getting into some serious trouble.”

“Right. I’ll try to control myself,” she laughed.

Spike opened up the car door for her, and she slid inside. Within ten seconds, they were peeling away from the curb and heading off toward Spike’s cozy apartment that was just minutes away.

***

The rest of the ride home had been a blur. Everything up until Buffy found herself lying flat on her back with her legs in the air on Spike’s bed had been a blur. Now he was standing over her, pulling her jeans off of her legs while she maneuvered out of her shirt. Spike chuckled when she got her arm caught.

“Let me help you with that, pet.” He reached down and helped her out of the shirt, and he stood at the foot of the bed, watching as she lay, panting in anticipation as he started taking off his clothes.

She sat up a little, unclasping her bra and tossing it off of the bed. She lay back, lifting her hips and sliding her panties down her hips and off of her legs. Spike practically growled when he caught a glimpse of how sodding wet she was.

“Spike,” she murmured, her hands moving down her chest, over her breasts and down to clamp between her legs. “Hurry.”

“Hold on, luv,” he breathed, peeling his shirt off, “don’t start without me.”

“Then hurry faster!” she moaned, slipping two of her own fingers inside of herself. He groaned and felt himself harden even more.

“Been ready for this all night,” he groaned, kicking his pants across the floor and crawling on top of her, maneuvering himself between her knees. She smiled and brought her coated fingers to his lips, and he sucked them into his mouth, tasting her juices there. “Bloody hell.” She grinned and pulled him down onto her, sucking his lower lip into her mouth like a sweet treat.

“Need you. Need you, Spike,” she panted. No time for foreplay. Not when she was panting like that, soaking wet for him. Not while he was about to explode from anticipation.

He positioned himself at her opening and slid home, filling her completely, watching as her eyes widened and then shut as she gasped for breath, waiting for her body to adjust. And then he was moving inside of her, his gaze pouring down into hers, watching the way her eyes widened and narrowed depending on his movements. He leaned down, kissing her perfect mouth, tracing her lower lip with his tongue. When he felt her hands on his hips, pulling him down harder against her as she swiveled her hips in just the right way, he moved his kisses down to her jaw and then down to the hollow of her throat, feeling her pulse pounding there.

She smiled up at him when he pulled back, rubbing his thumb over her swollen lips. She kissed the pad of his thumb and closed her eyes, arching her back as her body began to react to the orgasm hammering through her body.

“Spike,” she whimpered, her hands moving to cup his firm ass before stroking up his back, feeling the muscles tightening and straining under his pale skin. “Love you…so much.”

His lips covered hers again, and he willed himself to keep going, but when he felt her squeezing him, everything shattered, and he growled out his climax against her lips, spilling every drop inside of her, crashing and falling and finding complete serenity at the same time when he looked into her beautiful green eyes.

***

“Baby’s ok, right?” he asked, languidly stroking the barely-there swell in her abdomen.

“Yeah,” Buffy giggled. “I mean, the doctor said sex is ok up until the end of pregnancy if all things go well, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about.” Spike nodded slowly.

“Doesn’t seem real.”

“Hmm?”

“This. None of this. Just a couple months ago, I thought all we could ever be was friends. Now I’m lying here with you, and my hand is resting over something we created together. It’s a miracle, Buffy.” He watched as she bit her lower lip and smiled sleepily. “I know most people wouldn’t consider the bastard child of two high school seniors to be a miracle, but…most people can sod off.” He softly tickled her belly, and she giggled. “Still can’t believe I found you.”

“We found each other a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but we’ve been stumbling around in the dark trying for years, not knowing which way was up. This is right, Buffy. You can feel it, can’t you?”

“Yeah,” she breathed, stroking his curly hair. “I can feel it, Spike.” Spike smiled a little, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips. “What was that for?”

“Just because,” he chuckled. “I’ve got something for you.”

“You do?”

“Yep. Be right back.” He got out of bed and strode naked out of the bedroom. Buffy sat up expectantly, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs. When Spike reappeared, he was holding a small box in his hand.

“What’s this?”

“Christmas present.”

“But Christmas is a week away.”

“So it’s an early Christmas present,” Spike said with a shrug.

“Spike, what did you do? If you spent money on me…”

“I didn’t spend a dime for this, pet. I promise.” He smiled a little and nodded her way. “Go on, open it.” He couldn’t help but grin as he watched her nervously chew on her bottom lip. When she opened the box, her eyes widened, and she looked up at Spike.

“Oh my God! Spike?”

“Was my mum’s. My real mum’s, I mean. Dad gave it to me before he left the country.”

“Spike…this…this is an engagement ring.”

“Doesn’t have to be. Not if you’re not ready,” he said softly, taking her hand in his. “This doesn’t have to be a ring at all, except for in the sense that it goes around your finger.” He reached over and opened up the drawer to his inside table. He pulled out a dainty silver chain. “Doesn’t even have to go there, see?” He took the ring and threaded the chain through it. He reached over and clasped it around Buffy’s neck. “It’s not a ring, see? It’s just a promise.”

“A promise?” Buffy asked, fingering the beautiful ring, watching the diamond sparkle in the light of the bedside lamp.

“It’s a promise that someday, when we’re both ready, it’ll be an engagement ring.” He wasn’t sure how she would react to that. He’d run the plan by Xander over the phone earlier, and he’d said he wasn’t sure how a girl would like being pre-proposed to, especially a pregnant, hormonal girl, but the moment Buffy’s arms were around his neck and her lips were showering him with kisses, he was pretty sure that she’d taken it very, very well.

“I don’t think I can tell you enough just how much I love you,” she murmured, crawling over him. “Because I do. I have for a very long time, and I always will.” She placed her hand over his heart and smiled down at him. “Someday, when we’re both ready, I’ll be happy to say yes.”

***

Hank had allowed Spike to spend the night on Christmas Eve, and though he’d have rather had Spike sleeping down on the couch, the fact that Buffy was an adult and was in fact pregnant, he figured there was really no harm in letting the two share a room.

Dawn had woken the entire household at six in the morning Christmas Day. Most of the gifts under the tree had been for her, though Buffy and Spike had chipped in and gotten Hank a gift card to his favorite restaurant, and they’d exchanged gifts for one another.

Buffy had found a really great acoustic guitar at a rummage sale. The girl selling it had explained that it had been given to her as a gift, but she’d never taken the time to learn how to play it, so it was brand new and dirt cheap. Spike was already strumming on the chords, trying to play what little Oz had taught him.

Spike, aside from the pre-engagement engagement ring, had bought Buffy a journal that she’d pined after at the book store since she was fifteen. It had black leather binding and gold edging on the pages. He’d told her that even if she didn’t ever write in it, he still wanted her to have it, because she’d always have it.

Despite not being a book person, Buffy was a journal person, and on top of that, she was really good at hiding them. Not that he’d ever disrespect her privacy, but he often wondered what she wrote about him when she did write.

“I think that’s everything,” Buffy said, looking for more presents for Dawn under the tree.

“Nope, I think there’s one more,” Hank said quietly. “Hmm, Dawn, do you remember where Santa hid it?”

“Oh!” Dawn exclaimed. “I know!” She hurried up the stairs and returned a few minutes later with her hands behind her back.

Spike and Buffy glanced at each other curiously, and then Dawn handed them the envelope she’d been holding behind her back.

“Merry Christmas from me and Daddy,” Dawn said with a smile. She put her hand beside her mouth and whispered, “well, it’s from Daddy, but he said it could be from both of us.”

“Thanks Dawnie,” Buffy said with a warm smile. Despite the fact that she’d been uninterested in a relationship with her little sister about a month ago, she was growing accustomed to the child’s presence, and honestly, she was pretty sure that Dawn was the reason that her relationship with her dad was getting better by the day.

“What is it?” Spike wondered.

“Open it, silly,” Dawn pointed out. Spike chuckled and opened the envelope. Both he and Buffy looked at what was inside, and at the same time, their expressions went from curiosity to astonishment.

“Dad?”

“Just a little something to help you two get started.” He cleared his throat. “You two have shown a lot of maturity through everything that’s happened, and I know that things are hard right now, but hopefully this’ll help the future look a little brighter for you both.” Buffy and Spike looked at one another and then at Hank.

“Dad, this is too much.”

“Babies are expensive, Buffy. I want to contribute something to my grandchild’s future, and I think this is a start.” Hank pulled Dawn into his lap. “And, Buffy, I want you to know that your college fund hasn’t been touched. All the information is still in that lock box your mother had.”

“Dad, I don’t…I don’t know what to say.”

“Say…Merry Christmas,” he said with a shrug.

“Merry Christmas, Dad,” Buffy whispered, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Merry Christmas, luv,” Spike murmured, kissing the side of Buffy’s head. Buffy leaned against Spike, and she stared down at the check her father had given her. Maybe she truly was going to have a happy new year after all.

Chapter 24

Christmas break had gone by too fast. For Buffy and Spike, most of that had been spent watching Dawn, since her Christmas break coincided with theirs. But now it was mid-January, and school had been back in session for a couple of weeks.

Buffy was impressed. And that was an understatement. Not only had Cordelia managed to keep Buffy’s pregnancy a secret, but she’d even learned how to quiet her voice at lunch whenever said pregnancy was discussed.

Most kids had an inkling by now that Buffy was pregnant. Her face was just the tiniest bit fuller, and her shirts were starting to tighten up a little in her mid section. Cordelia had promised to take her friend out for a day of shopping for the hippest maternity stuff possible, but Buffy wasn’t so sure they had a maternity line for pregnant teens. Cordelia, however, was pretty certain they did. So, Buffy decided to trust in her fashion-forward friend.

Morning sickness had started to taper off, though it wasn’t completely absent from Buffy’s life quite yet. She’d made it almost the entire day without feeling miserable, but right before last period, she felt her lunch from earlier trying to make its way back up. She frowned, took a few deep breaths, and within a few minutes, the nausea was gone, but she was still leaning against the sink in the bathroom, ready to turn and jump into the nearest stall if the occasion arose.

When she finally felt completely confident that she wouldn’t be throwing up all over Mr. Neeson’s shoes in history class, she started out of the bathroom, only to be bumped into by none other than Drusilla Lewis, who had her hand over her mouth and was dodging around the petite blonde to make her way to her own stall.

“What it!” Buffy warned, only to be answered by the gagging and retching sounds coming from the half-open stall. Realization suddenly hit her. She’d seen Dru ducking into the bathroom quite a lot these days. At first she’d thought maybe the girl was developing an eating disorder, but this was definitely not a self-induced purge. And as much as she didn’t want to talk to the girl, she empathized with the nausea. “Dru? You ok?”

“Leave me alone.” Was she crying?

“Dru…”

“I said get out of here!” The toilet flushed, and Dru came out of the stall, cheeks darkened by her running mascara. Buffy sighed and ran some paper towels under the faucet, handing them to Dru. “For your makeup. It also helps to wipe down the back of your neck and your forehead until it passes.”

“Until what passes?” Dru asked nonchalantly, grabbing the paper towels and wiping her face.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” She expected something vile to come forth from Drusilla’s lips, but instead, the girl broke down into a mess of tears. Buffy’s eyes widened. Dru had never been known as a mentally stable individually, but this was almost too much.

“It doesn’t matter. My life’s over.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, it’s not? It’s bad enough that I’m pregnant, but my baby doesn’t have a father.” She looked Buffy up and down. “Look at you. The golden girl. Always gets anything she sets her little sights on.” She glared at Buffy, stepping closer to her. “You wanted Spike? You got him. Now you’ve got his baby.” Buffy’s eyes widened and she smoothed down her shirt. “Don’t try to hide it. Half the school already knows, Buffy. They know what kind of girl you are.” Buffy backed away, wanting to run. But she couldn’t stop herself from saying the next words that flew out of her mouth.

“And what does that make you, Dru? At least I didn’t cheat on Spike with the first asshole that would pay attention to me. Now look at you. Don’t even pretend to act like you know me. Why don’t you look at yourself in the mirror? Figure out what kind of girl you are.” Buffy shook her head. “Don’t you dare judge me.” With that, she turned and walked out of the bathroom, any empathy she may have had for Dru flying right out the window.

***

“Something wrong, luv?” Buffy and Spike were sitting on the couch doing homework together and waiting for Dawn’s bus to drop her off.

“Huh?” She looked up from her history book.

“You didn’t say much on the way home. And now you’re looking at your history book like you actually give a damn about what happened in…” He peered over at the page, “500 BC. We’re not even studying that, are we?”

“No,” she grumbled, closing her book. “Sorry. I ran into Dru in the bathroom before last period.”

“Did she say anything to you? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. She knows I’m pregnant.”

“What? How…”

“She told me when I told her I knew she was.” Spike glanced at her, dropping his book into his lap.

“She’s what?”

“She’s pregnant. She’s hiding it,” Buffy murmured. She glanced at Spike. “Before you ask me what I think, I know it’s not yours. You told me you two weren’t together for a while before you broke up. That’s true, right?”

“Of course it’s true. Wouldn’t lie to you, luv.” He placed his hand over hers.

“Angel’s the father,” Buffy concluded.

“Probably. Dru wasn’t exactly faithful to me, luv.”

“Yeah, but I think she was too afraid of Angel to try and cheat on him,” she pointed out. “It’s got to be his.” Shaking her head, she leaned back against the couch. “Because of Angel, my mother’s dead. And because she’s dead, Angel’s kid is gonna grow up the first few years of its life not knowing its father.”

“Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty about that?” Spike wondered, eyebrows raised.

“Of course not,” Buffy muttered. “If it were up to me, I’d make sure Angel stayed behind bars, but I can’t…I can’t make that happen. It’s just…it’s not fair that he’s ruining yet another life…one that hasn’t even been born yet.”

The sound of squealing brakes caught their attention. Spike turned on the couch to look out the front window.

“Little sis is home,” he said with a little nod toward the street. Buffy sighed softly and got up, heading to the door with Spike. When Buffy opened the door, Dawn, who was heading up the side walk, caught a glimpse of her sister and Spike and waved excitedly.

“Hi Buffy! Hi Spike!” she grinned, picking up the pace. But, just as she was about to reach the steps, she tripped and fell on the sidewalk. Without thinking, Buffy rushed to her little sister’s side and scooped her up.

“Oh…here. Let me see.” Dawn was crying, and Buffy lifted Dawn’s skirt just above her knee to see that it was scraped and bleeding a little. “Come on, Dawnie. We’ll make you good as new.”

Spike was in awe, watching Buffy go into mommy-mode. She rushed Dawn into the kitchen, sat her up on the counter and fished through the cabinets, looking for the first aid kit. Sure enough, it was in the junk drawer.

“Hey, Little Bit,” Spike said softly, squeezing the little girl’s shoulder. “Big sis is gonna make you all better, alright?” Dawn sniffled and nodded, wiping at her own tears.

“It hurts,” she whimpered.

“It’s ok, Dawnie,” Buffy urged. “This might sting a little bit.” She poured some peroxide onto a cloth and dabbed it over Dawn’s cut. Dawn didn’t even flinch. “Ok. Now I’ll put some medicine on it, and you’ll be good as new, ok?”

“Promise?”

“I promise. You might have a little scar, but…”

“Like Spike has on his eyebrow?”

“Maybe. But it’ll be on your knee instead.”

“Cool,” Dawn grinned, still sniffling. Buffy and Spike gave each other an amused look before Buffy put medicine on the little scratch and placed a bandage over it.

“There you go. All better. Does it hurt?”

“Nope,” Dawn said, shaking her head. “Can I go play now?”

“Go on,” Buffy laughed. “Dad’ll be home in a couple hours.”

“’Kay.” She bounded up the back stairs and up to her bedroom. Buffy shook her head and washed her hands in the sink.

“Look at you,” Spike chuckled.

“What?” Buffy wondered, turning and toweling off her hands.

“The way you ran to her, scooped her up like that? You’re gonna be an amazing mother.” Buffy sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“It scared me when she fell. I just…I reacted.”

“’Cause you love her.”

“No…I…” Buffy frowned. “Shut up. She’s just a little kid. I mean, she grows on you after a while. I can’t help it.”

“I know you didn’t want a sister,” Spike said quietly, gently rubbing circles on her back as he pulled her close. “But I think you took to it really well.”

“It still doesn’t excuse what my dad did. I’m not sure I can ever really get over the fact that he cheated on my mother.” She frowned. “But Dawn doesn’t understand that stuff right now. It’s not her fault. I’ve spent a lot of time with her, and…” Suddenly, her face fell, and Spike watched her swallow the lump in her throat.

“Buffy?”

“What?” she choked out.

“I don’t think your mum would mind a bit to see you bonding with your little sis.”

“I miss her, Spike, but I feel like maybe…maybe she wouldn’t want…”

“She’d want you to be happy, luv. You light up when Dawn’s around. You have somebody to take care of, and I think that’s what you need right now. I think it’s helping.”

“Helping what? Helping me get over the fact that my mother is dead?”

“Well, not completely get over it. That’ll never happen, pet. But I think having Dawn around makes it easier for you.”

“Yeah. It does.” She smiled a little. “Come on. We should get back to studying.” She took his hand in hers and led him out of the kitchen and back into the living room.

***

At school the next day, Buffy stood at her locker talking quietly to Willow. Thankfully, it was almost lunchtime, because Buffy was absolutely starving.

“Are you coming to The Bronze tonight?” Willow wondered.

“I can’t,” Buffy muttered. “Dad’s got a conference call. It’s at home, but I have to keep Dawn out of his hair.”

“Oh. Ok, well, maybe next Friday then?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Buffy said with a little smile. She hated having to miss time with her friends, especially since in about six months, she wouldn’t have much time for anything anymore, but she had already told her dad she’d help with Dawn.

She moved to take a notebook out of her locker, but when she pulled it out, a folder fell out with it, and when it fell to the floor, Buffy’s sonogram picture came sliding out. Eyes widening in terror, Buffy reached down to pick it up, only to find a foot quickly moving over it and sliding it out of her grasp.

“Hey!” She looked up to see Harmony Kendall smirking down at her. “Harmony…”

“What’s this?” she asked innocently, bending down to pick it up, as Buffy stood, straightening herself out. When Harmony stood again, studying the picture, her eyes widened, and she looked up at Buffy.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Harmony, please…”

“Well, I guess the rumors are true,” she laughed.

“Harmony, please!” Buffy repeated, grabbing for the picture. Harmony yanked her hand away.

“Oh, this is too good! Who’s is it? It’s Spike’s, right? Guess we know what you’ve been doing in your spare time, huh?”

“Stop it, Harmony,” Willow warned.

“Or what, you pathetic nerd?” Harmony waved the picture around. “Look, everybody! Buffy Summers is having a baby! Guess the rumors about her being a little slut are true!” Buffy’s eyes widened as the level of her mortification grew by the second. Harmony flung the little piece of paper back at Buffy, who stuffed it in her locker. People were eyeing her and whispering.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Buffy murmured, clenching her fists and blinking back tears.

“Oh, I think I did. That’s what you get for fucking my best friend’s guy.”

“He’s not Dru’s guy. Not anymore,” Willow pointed out. “She’s the one that cheated on him with Angel anyway.”

“Wil, please,” Buffy urged. “Just don’t.”

“I was just trying to…”

“I know. Just…just don’t.” Buffy slammed her locker door and rushed off to her next class, avoiding the knowing gazes from her fellow classmates.

Chapter 25

“Hey, man,” Nick O’Neill, a senior on the baseball team said with a sly grin as he sat down next to Spike. Spike glanced at him. This guy never spoke to him.

“Hey,” Spike said with an indifferent nod. A couple more guys came in and sat in the surrounding seats.

“Heard the big news. Congratulations, my man. You’ve done something that the rest of us have only dreamed about.”

“Excuse me?”

“Tapping Buffy Summers,” one of the other guys said with an impish chuckle. Spike felt his eyes widen, but he couldn’t form words to tell these bastards to sod off. “Harmony Kendall’s been flapping her gums about it all day. So you knocked up Buffy Summers, huh? Well, sorry about the little accident, but damn, what I wouldn’t give to have the chance to have a little accident with her myself.”

“Watch your mouth,” Spike warned.

“Hey, easy, Pratt,” Nick said, holding his hands up. “We just wanted to take a minute to, uh, ask you how you got her? I mean, rumor has it that that guy she dated? That Riley guy? Well, apparently he said it wasn’t really very easy to get her into bed. Took a lot of sweet talk, but she finally opened her legs. What was it? Was it the friend thing? Is that why she opened up her legs for you?”

Spike slammed his books down on the desk.

“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?” he wondered. The guys looked at each other and then back at him.

“Because inquiring minds wanna know. You know, Parker said she gave him a blow job at The Bronze. Said she was practically begging to suck his cock. You might wanna ask her…maybe the kid’s not even yours. If it was me, I’d be relieved to not have to be stuck with that mess.”

In walked Parker Abrams, and Spike saw red.

“Hey, Abrams,” Nick said with a nod. “C’mere.” Parker strutted over, and when he saw Spike’s angry glare, he hid the fact that that gaze had suddenly put the fear of God into him, and he smirked.

“What’s up?”

“Heard that Buffy Summers is knocked up. Rumor has it that it’s Spike’s. Care to make a wager?”

“On what?”

“On if it’s yours. You said she was all over you in the bathroom. Did you hit that?” Parker smirked at shrugged his shoulders.

“Kid isn’t mine.”

“But it could be.”

“Yeah,” Parker chuckled. “It could be. But we used a condom, so…” Spike immediately stood up, and Parker, despite his cowardice, let his stupidity urge him on. “What’s the matter, Spike? Can’t take hearing that your little girlfriend came looking for a real man to make her feel good? Huh? You know, she was making eyes at Devon, too. Might wanna ask him about it.”

And then Spike was on him, knocking him back against the desks. The few students who were already in the room gathered around, as Spike repeatedly punched his fist into Parker’s face, relishing the sound of his cries of pain. For once in his life, Spike was enjoying beating the shit out of this snot-nosed little punk, and he hoped it hurt like hell in the morning.

“That’s enough! That’s enough!” Mrs. Grayson screamed, rushing into the room. “William Pratt!” One of the guys managed to pull Spike off of Parker, who was barely conscious. “Go to Principal Snyder’s office…right now!”

***

Buffy rushed out of the school building at the end of the day, scanning the lot for Spike’s car. When she saw him pulling around to pick her up, she rushed over and got in, her eyes wide with fright.

“Cordelia told me you got suspended.”

“For a week,” he said with a nod.

“What happened?” she asked. He stepped on the gas, and she held onto the dashboard for support. “Spike! What the hell happened? They said Parker had to go get stitches.”

“He shot his mouth off. That’s what happened.”

“Spike…”

“They were lying, Buffy. Parker was saying he could be the father, and then he was…” He gripped the steering wheel.

“You know he was just trying to get a rise out of you. Why do you let him do this, Spike?”

“The thought of those ponces touching you…it just…”

“They didn’t! I would never let him, Spike!”

“Before all of this? Before…when I was just your best friend, Spike, the guy you told everything to? I’d sit around and watch them leering at you. They all wanted you. All I wanted to do was knock their teeth down their throats. Today? With Parker? I wanted to kill him. I…” He was shaking.

“Spike…please, just…calm down.” She placed her hand on his forearm, and she could feel how tense he really was.

“The things they were saying about you…”

“I know. I heard it all today, too. When Harmony announced to the entire hall that I was pregnant, I figured the entire school would know in about three seconds, and I guess I was right.” She frowned. “We knew this was going to happen, Spike. We couldn’t hide it forever.” She placed her hand on her stomach. “I guess it’s better this way.”

“Better? How can you say that?”

“This way, they can get it out of their systems. They can say what they want, and eventually, they’ll get sick of it.”

“You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

“I’m a pregnant highschooler. I think it comes with the territory.” She frowned a little. “I’m sorry you got suspended defending me.”

“Are you kidding? I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me, Spike.” Tears had formed in her eyes. “I knew we had a lot to face, but I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I love you.” Spike sighed and reached over to take her hand.

“I’ll be alright, pet. Try not to think about it, ok?”

“That’s kinda hard when I’m gonna have to go to school all next week and not have you there with me.”

“It’ll be ok. Just as long as you bring me my assignments.” She smiled a little.

“I will.”

***

After a long shopping trip with Cordelia over the weekend, Buffy went to school Monday wearing some slightly larger clothes. They weren’t maternity clothes quite yet, but they had enough give in them that they didn’t feel uncomfortably tight.

She had expected the whispers and the stares. She’d expected the laughs and the pointing and the nasty remarks. She thought she was completely prepared.

What she hadn’t expected was to run right into Harmony and Dru. She couldn’t help it. They were standing right there in front of her locker.

“Excuse me,” she said quietly, not looking either of them in the eye.

“Oh, if it isn’t trailer trash Barbie,” Harmony giggled.

“Wow, Harm,” Buffy noted, “you should really stop talking about yourself in third person. It’s kind of creepy and really sad.” Harmony scoffed and Dru gave her the side-eye. “Now get out of my way.”

“Or what? You’ll have your boyfriend beat me up? Oh wait, he already got suspended for that. When Spike was with Dru, he never would have gotten suspended for beating anybody up.”

“He was defending me,” Buffy said with a shrug and a glance at Dru. “But you’re right, Harmony, he probably wouldn’t have cared much about defending her, especially since she was cheating on him.” She saw the hurt look on Dru’s face and wondered when she’d become the bitch and Dru the hurt victim. Part of it felt good to knock the dark-haired bitch off her pedestal, but another part felt guilty, because it wouldn’t be long and Dru’s secret pregnancy wouldn’t be a secret anymore either.

“God, you’re such a bitch,” Harmony murmured. Buffy suddenly had the urge to utter the words “it takes one to know one” but she realized that she wasn’t ten, despite the fact that Harmony had the maturity level of a ten year old.

“Get out of my way, Harmony.” Buffy finally pushed past her and opened up her locker.

“Seriously. How stupid do you have to be to get pregnant? I mean, use a fucking condom or pay attention in health class.” She was completely oblivious to the fact that Dru was slowly sinking into herself, tuning out the words her friend was speaking.

“Why don’t you pay attention, Harmony? Condoms don’t exactly guarantee anything. And having sex with three guys in one night? Not exactly the smartest thing to do. There are a lot worse things than getting pregnant, Harmony. So I suggest you look up the chapter on STDs and keep your legs together next time you’re at The Bronze.” She slammed her locker shut, leaving a stunned Harmony standing next to a silent Dru.

“Can you believe her? What a…”

“I have to go to class,” Dru said quickly, excusing herself and rushing off with her books clutched firmly to her chest.

***

“Geez!” Cordelia laughed, walking with Buffy to their classroom. “Did you eat bitchflakes for breakfast this morning, or what?”

“I can’t believe I said that. I shouldn’t have said that,” Buffy groaned, running her fingers through her hair.

“Well, Harmony kind of deserved it after what she did to you. I’m surprised Dru didn’t join in on the sabotage.”

“She’s got other things to worry about,” Buffy murmured. Cordelia quirked an eyebrow, but Buffy shook her head. “Nevermind.”

“Hey!” They turned at Willow’s voice. Willow came rushing over, worry filling her eyes. “What happened? Somebody said you just went off on Harmony. Is that true, Buffy?”

“Unfortunately,” she mumbled, walking into the classroom and finding her seat. “I don’t know what got into me. I was such a bitch. I was…oh God…I was Harmony!”

“No, you weren’t. You were totally right. Harmony’s a skank, and she deserved to be cut down from her high horse,” Cordelia responded.

“I don’t want to be that girl,” Buffy muttered. “I don’t wanna be the bitchy pregnant girl that bites off everybody’s heads because she’s so defensive. That’s not me. I’m not gonna let that be me.”

“So you’re just gonna let Harmony keep treating you like mud on the bottom of her shoes?”

“No,” Buffy replied, “but I’m not gonna stoop that low. I won’t let myself be like her.” She turned her attention to going over last week’s notes, just in case there was a pop quiz. Cordelia and Willow shared concerned glances before turning to their own notes to do the same.

***

Spike strummed languidly on the guitar Buffy’d gotten him for Christmas. He was getting better, and he was practicing with Oz, but there was no way he was ready to bring the guitar out for performances.

He was seated on the stage at The Bronze. Obviously, the rest of the band wasn’t there because of school, but he’d decided to come in and get a little practice in on his own. Really, though, he just wanted some solitude and to get out of his apartment.

As he strummed out the first few chords of a song he, Oz, and Jesse had been working on, he heard footsteps coming from nearby. He frowned and peered out into the dim bar to see Rupert Giles standing there.

“What are you doing here?”

“I told you I’d keep in touch.”

“Ever heard of a telephone?” Giles chuckled a little at Spike’s remark. “What can I do for you? The place is closed, and my band won’t be here for a few hours, so…”

“I came to speak with you, Mr. Pratt.”

“Spike,” Spike pointed out. “And how’d you know my name, anyway?” Giles held up a flyer announcing the band. “Oh. Right. Well, what have you come to talk to me about, Rupert?”

“I’ve come to offer you the chance to record a demo to play for a few labels.”

“You mean, record labels?”

“Yes.”

“You want the band to…”

“Not the band, just you. You’d be accompanied by a professional band. The rest of your group is quite talented, but you have star quality.”

“I do?” Spike glanced down at himself.

“You have a nice physique, great hair, blue eyes that would break hearts.”

“Are you offering me work, Rupert, or are you hitting on me?” Spike asked, squirming in his seat. Giles laughed.

“I’m happily married, thank you. I’m just saying, you’re marketable.”

“Thanks ever so,” Spike said with a shrug, “but I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Oz, so…”

“I understand the need to be noble, but I also understand fresh, young talent when I see it.”

“Sorry, Rupert. I’m flattered, but I’ve got to set up for practice. My band is counting on me.” Spike turned around, but Giles spoke once again.

“What if I brought the three of you in for a demo?” Spike turned back to face him. “I’d be willing to set that up, if you’d like.” Surprised at Rupert’s willingness to cave like that, Spike was taken off guard. Did they really want him to do a demo that badly?

“I…uh, I’ll talk to the guys. Get back to you, alright?”

“You still have my card?”

“Yeah.”

“Right then. Give me a call and let me know their decision. If they disagree, we’d still love to have you come in.” With that, Rupert Giles turned and walked out of The Bronze, and Spike sat back down, realizing he had a lot of thinking to do.

Chapter 26

By the time February rolled around, Spike and his band mates had already done a demo for Giles, but they’d heard nothing back yet. Also on the line was Spike’s future in college. Acceptance letters had come a week ago, and it turned out that the whole gang was going to UC Sunnydale. Well, everyone except Spike, if things continued on the path they were going.

He’d contacted his father when he’d gotten his acceptance letter, but his father had once again refused to help him, telling him that he had a child coming that he needed to focus on, and he needed to put everything into making money and focus on college later.

So by the time Valentine’s Day neared, Buffy was the one making all the plans. Not because Spike had forgotten, but because she had told him that she wanted to make the plans this year, since he was so busy doing gigs with the band.

Tomorrow was the day, and Buffy had everything set. She was going to have her father help her in the kitchen. Her mother had been an excellent cook, but her father wasn’t half bad, and between the two of them, they’d come up with some very tasty recipes. Not only was it going to make the date a success, but it was adding on to the father-daughter bonding times that came few and far between these days with Hank’s work.

However, today, Buffy and Spike were seated in the balcony of The Espresso Pump, a local coffee shop. Buffy was sipping on hot chocolate, and Spike was drinking his coffee black while he worked on the lyrics for a new song.

“Don’t worry,” Buffy murmured, rubbing his arm supportively, “something’ll come up.”

“The scholarships aren’t coming in, Buffy. Don’t have enough to pay for a sodding semester.” He shook his head.

“You’ll get student loans, and you can pay them back.”

“Buffy,” Spike breathed, “how am I going to get through college and make enough money to support you and the baby at the same time?”

“You’re not going to be supporting me,” Buffy warned. She gave him a little smile. “I was going to save this for tomorrow night, but I wanna tell you now.” She cleared her throat. “I got a job.”

“What?” He put his book aside.

“It’s just a part time thing. See, I talked to my dad, and I’m still on his insurance, since I’m going to school. We’re pretty sure that that’ll help with my hospital bills and everything, so with the money I save up with this job, the medical bills should be taken care of, and that’s one less thing to worry about. The rest of the money can go toward everything else.” She took his hand. “You’ve been working so hard with the band, and I know you’ve already saved up so much money. And with the money Dad gave us, and the college fund he put together for me…you don’t have to even think about supporting anybody but yourself.”

Spike tugged his hand away.

“You think I want to let you work and pay for everything while I…”

“Excuse me? Let me? What year are we living in?”

“Bugger. That’s not what I meant, Buffy.” He sighed heavily. “You’re pregnant. What’s the job?”

“Cashier at the grocery store,” she murmured.

“See,” Spike pointed out. “You’ll be on your feet all day.”

“The boss knows I’m pregnant, and he said that I can have a stool at my station in case I start to feel tired. Really, Spike, I can do this. I want to do this.” She swallowed hard. “Besides, it’s not like we should expect everything to fall into place. I mean, having a baby is a lot of work, and it’s stressful, especially when you’re our age. But we’ve got months until the baby comes, and…”

“What about your grades?”

“I’ve already been accepted to UC Sunnydale. My GPA is great, so I’m not worrying, Spike. We graduate in June, and that gives us a month before the baby comes. We can find an apartment and set up a room for the baby.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Everything’s going to work out. I remember you telling me that once.” She kissed his shoulder and looked up at him, resting her chin there. “And I bet you’ll hear from Giles soon.”

“You realize, if they want to work with me, I’m gonna be away a lot.” He shook his head. “I don’t wanna be away.”

“Spike, I know you love me. Whatever happens, I’m gonna be there by your side. If this thing with Mr. Giles goes somewhere? If he can help you make something out of this music thing, and if that’s what you want, I’ll be there supporting you.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll still be there cheering for you at The Bronze.” She shook her head. “I don’t care about how much money you make. I just care about being with you and raising my baby with you, because I want him to grow up knowing that his parents fought to give him everything he needed.” She took his hand and placed it over the swell of her belly.

She was obviously pregnant, and there was no denying it. She looked as if she’d swallowed a small watermelon, and there was something about her that Spike found absolutely enchanting.

“I’m sorry, luv,” he finally breathed. “You wanna get out of here? Go do something fun?”

“Fun? Like what?”

“Dunno, like go for a drive? Walk by the pond at the park? Go dance at The Bronze?”

“You must really wanna get out of this conversation if you’re willing to dance,” she grinned.

“Just wanna make you happy. Wanna see you smile.”

“Look at me.” She placed her hands on either side of his face and turned his head so he was looking at her. She smiled. “I am happy. Because of you.” She leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be. You’ve been here for me through everything. You’re still my best friend, Spike.”

Spike smiled a little and leaned in to kiss her.

“And you’re mine.”

***

Dawn was sitting in Spike’s living room watching TV, while Hank helped Buffy finish up in the kitchen. Dawn’s duty was to keep an eye on the time. Luckily, Spike had a digital clock on top of his TV, so Dawn could understand it.

Just as Buffy was taking the garlic bread out of the oven, Dawn came rushing in.

“It’s 8:02!” she exclaimed. Buffy rushed into the living room, and sure enough, it was 8:02.

“Dawn! You were supposed to tell me at 7:50,” Buffy pointed out. Dawn hung her head.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I forget.” Sighing, Buffy patted her sister’s shoulder.

“It’s ok. But Spike’ll be here any minute, so you guys’ve gotta go.” She turned to her father. “Thanks for helping, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Remember, I’d prefer it if you came home tonight, but if you…fall asleep on Spike’s couch, well, I guess I can’t do much about that.” It was obvious that Hank was still struggling the fact that his daughter was having an adult relationship, but there really wasn’t much he could do about it. She was an adult, after all, and the man she was with was the father of her child.

“You two have fun watching movies,” Buffy offered.

“You have fun…eating dinner,” Hank said, making a face. Buffy rolled her eyes and gave her dad a quick hug.

“Ok. Get out.”

“Right. We’re gone. C’mon, kiddo.” Hank took Dawn’s hand and led her out of the apartment. Dawn gave her sister a wave and then hurried off ahead of her father. “Walk, Dawn! Don’t run!” Buffy laughed a little and shut the door. She looked at the clock. 8:05. Ok. Spike would be home in approximately ten minutes, depending on how fast it took the band to pack up.

So, she rushed around, set the table, lit the candles and turned off the lights. She quickly grabbed her overnight bag and headed into Spike’s bedroom. She stripped down to nothing and then pulled out her surprise for him. They’d already agreed on no presents for Valentine’s Day, but Buffy had splurged and gotten a little something to wear, but it was all for Spike.

Once it was on, she pulled on the red slip of a dress, amazed that she could completely hide what she had on underneath. And apparently, she’d gotten ready just in time, because she heard the front door unlock and open.

“Buffy?” Buffy felt her heart hammer in her chest, and she took a deep breath, quickly running her fingers through her long, blonde hair.

Spike’s eyes widened when she emerged from his room clad in a sexy, red dress that clung to her in just the right places. He couldn’t help but smile when he looked down at her stomach. She was getting bigger, heavier with their child, and with each day, she appeared to be more beautiful. He couldn’t get enough of seeing this miracle growing inside of her, though he knew she as developing bouts of self-consciousness.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she smiled, leaning against the door frame.

Spike shut the door and closed the distance between them in about two-point-five seconds, gathering her up against him and kissing her breathless.

“How was practice?” she asked, smiling innocently up at him when she broke the kiss.

“Practice?”

“The band?”

“What band?”

“Ooh, okay,” she grinned.

“Don’t wanna talk.”

“Hungry?”

“Starving,” he growled, attacking her lips with his own again. She giggled and gave into his kisses for a few seconds longer before she wriggled out of his grasp.

“C’mon, humor me. I cooked. Dad helped.” Spike raised an eyebrow, but she let her lead him to the table. Buffy hurried into the kitchen to get the serving dishes. Spike moved to stand and help her, but she pushed him back down in his seat. “Sit.” He obeyed. “Good boy.”

She’d prepared a nice pasta dinner. Not spaghetti, because that was one of the most unromantic meals ever. Not exactly a sexy food either. Instead, it was penne in marinara sauce.

When they were both settled down to eat, Buffy suddenly regretted the garlic bread. The way Spike was looking at her told her that she’d probably want to have fresh breath for all the kissing and everything. So, she didn’t partake in that aspect of dinner, or what was apparently two bites of pasta, a sip of wine for Spike and sparkling water for Buffy, and then a mad scramble for the bedroom.

Before Buffy knew it, Spike was pinning her against the wall, his hand moving up her silky smooth thigh, begging to trace a path up to the place that was already dripping wet and pounding with need for him. She was suddenly becoming lost in his kisses and losing track of her own plans for him. When she realized that she wanted to do something nice for him, she pushed him back and walked him to the bed. Her eyes were on his the entire time, and when his knees hit the back of the bed, he plopped down on the edge, and Buffy smiled, stepping back.

“Come here,” he growled. She shook her head and kicked off her shoes. The shadows from the candlelight danced on her skin as she slid the dress down her body, revealing her surprise to Spike. And when his jaw dropped and the bulge in his pants grew, she knew she’d done something very right.

“You like?”

“Hope that wasn’t too expensive, pet, because when I’m done with you, there won’t be much left of it.”

“When you’re done with me?” she chuckled. “Well, we’ll see how much strength you have in you when I get through with you.” She quirked her eyebrow suggestively, and Spike almost started panting right then and there.

He dragged his eyes up her gorgeous form. Her gorgeous legs led up to a pair of red, lace panties that left little to the imagination. He could already see that she was soaking wet, and he couldn’t wait to taste her.

She wore a matching bra, with which he could clearly see through. Her nipples were hardened, and thanks to the miracle of nature, a bit darker due to the pregnancy. His mouth watered, and he ached to suck one of those perfect buds into his mouth and hear her moan his name.

For a moment, Buffy faltered from her in-charge position as she looked down at the swell of her belly, placing a hand there. Spike reached out to her, taking her hand away.

“You’re amazing. Do you know that?” When she smiled, he knew his little sex kitten was back, and she stepped closer to him, straddling his lap. She didn’t sit down though. She stood there, her eyes boring down into his as her fingers messed with the buttons on his shirt.

“Scoot back,” she cooed softly, dipping down to press her lips to his. Spike obeyed, scooting back on the bed. She crawled over him, continuing to unbutton his shirt.

Once it was safely discarded away from any open flames, she undid the button of his jeans and unzipped his fly. When she dragged his jeans down his hips, his cock sprang out, hard and already dripping with pre-cum. She smiled a little when Spike eyed her, and she placed her hand on his chest.

“Lay back.” Spike swallowed hard and nodded. Buffy stood for a brief moment, gazing down at the naked form of her best friend, her lover, the man she couldn’t stop thinking about every second of the day.

She moved back to the bed, crawling up to hover over him. She smiled, peering down into his beautiful, blue eyes. Her fingers traced his lips before she dipped down to kiss him again, sucking his lower lip into her mouth and nibbling softly on it until he moaned against her.

“I love you, you know that?” she asked, kissing his jaw and then his neck.

“God, yes,” he moaned.

“You mean everything to me,” she whispered, moving lower and biting gently on one of his nipples, drawing out a gasp from him. She smiled. “Don’t know why it took us so long. We didn’t know what we were missing out on.” She smiled a little and moved lower, kissing his stomach and nipping at his abs with her teeth.

“Fuck, Buffy…” God, this man was sex with an English accent. “So amazing…I…” And all words were lost when her hand curled around his cock, and all that escaped his lips were a series of strangled moans. She smiled a little, placing one hand on his chest, softly caressing down to his stomach and then back up again, as she slid her hand up and down, coating her hand with his pre-cum and continuing her maneuvers.

He struggled to find the strength to prop himself up on his elbows and lean forward to watch what she was doing to him. She smiled when their eyes met, and then she flicked her tongue against the darkened head.

Spike clenched his jaw and struggled not to come just from the way her eyes fixed on his and didn’t tear away.

When she popped his tip between her cherry-red lips, he fell back against the mattress, groaning as she tortured him with her tongue and lips and hand. Her other hand moved down to squeeze his balls just enough to make him squirm.

“Oh Christ,” he groaned, as the heat of her mouth sheathed him as she took him in as far as she could. “Buffybuffybuffy.” She moaned softly, and he could feel the vibrations in his cock. She knew very well what she was doing to him, and when she drew back and crawled back up to kiss his lips, all the while pumping him with her hand, he knew she was going to be the death of him.

“Tell me you love me,” she breathed, pressing her lips against his jaw.

“I love you,” he breathed. “Have forever…”

“Tell me you want me,” she broke in, running her tongue along his Adams apple. He swallowed hard, and she continued to trail down his body.

“I always want you. Please, Buffy…” She smiled and positioned herself again, running her tongue over the tiny slit on the head of his cock. He bucked his hips, and she placed a kiss there before running her tongue from the base of his cock to the head again and slipping him back inside.

Pumping him with her hand and rolling her tongue with each pull upward, it was only a matter of a few more moments before warm jets of his seed filled her mouth and were quickly swallowed.

Within moments, she was moving up the bed to lay on her side, propping herself up to look at him. He turned to her, eyes dazed and sleepy but still full of raw desire.

“On a scale of one to ten,” Buffy murmured, tracing his jaw line with her fingertips, “how would you rate this Valentine’s Day?”

“Best bloody Valentine’s Day of my life,” he admitted. “Ten. Definitely ten.” He leaned forward and kissed her softly, reveling in the scent of her, the taste of her, and something else, the taste of himself on her lips. It was wildly erotic.

“Tops last years?”

“Which part of last year’s? When you cut up pictures of Riley and burned them, or when I stole my dad’s beer and sobbed over Drusilla.”

“Mmm,” Buffy said with a little nod. “I see what you mean. I think Valentine’s as friends is nice, but this definitely has its…perks.” She had a hold on his cock again, stroking it until he began to harden against her palm.

“No going back now,” he chuckled, reaching between them and stroking her belly.

“Definitely not,” she agreed. Spike leaned in, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her in for a tender kiss. And then before she knew it, he was rolling her onto her back and grinding against her hot core through her panties. “Oh God…” She arched her back a little as his hands moved up her sides before cupping a breast in each hand. He bit down on her nipple through her bra, and she made the sexiest little hissing noise he’d ever heard. His hand moved behind her to undo the clasp, and after a moment of struggle, her breasts popped free, and the bra was discarded, giving him full access.

She leaned back against the pillows as Spike rolled one nipple between his fingers while he sucked the other one into his mouth. And then he switched, and when the cool air in the room hit her wet nipple, she gasped.

And then he began to move. His kisses moved down her sternum, over her belly, along her hips, and finally, he kissed her, licking at the sopping fabric of her undergarments, tasting her fluids seeping through the flimsy lace.

“Taste like heaven,” he breathed before snagging the side of the garment with his finger and slipping it down her hips and off of her legs. Before Buffy could utter a word, his tongue delved inside of her, and she grabbed the sides of his head, holding him there as he began to fuck her with his tongue.

“Ohgodohgod,” he cried, arching her back and bucking against his mouth as his tongue and fingers brought her closer and closer to the edge. He moaned softly as her juices flooded his mouth, and he replaced his tongue with his fingers, stroking her, finding that soft, spongy button that had her shaking beneath him until she finally cried out and let go.

She closed her eyes, but they flew open again when she felt his damp lips on hers, and she tasted herself. His tongue parted her lips and caressed hers, and she moaned, pulling at his shoulders to bring him closer and deepen the kiss.

“Now, Spike,” she groaned. “Please.” He wasn’t going to argue. The taste of her on his lips was enough to make him want to come again, but he held on. He lifted her legs, draping them over his shoulders, and he wasted no time plunging into her and filling her completely. “Oh fuck! Unh….Spike!” With her ass lifted off the bed, she had trouble meeting his thrusts, but when his hands were on her hips, pulling her against him as he slammed into her, she took quite a liking to this position.

“So bloody tight,” he murmured. “Always so tight for me, luv. Amazing. Fuck, you’re so hot…”

“Yeah! Spike!” she cried out. “Faster. Oh God…please!” The sweat on her hips made his hands slip, and he let her fall back gently onto the bed. He took his cock in his hand and continued to stroke it.

“On your knees,” he grunted. Buffy did as she was told, getting up on all fours in the middle of the bed, wiggling her ass at him. He crawled over her, bracing himself against the bed as he ribbed the tip of his cock against her sopping slit. She reached underneath her and took hold of him, guiding him into her slick entrance, moaning at the new change in positions.

“Yeah…like that,” she groaned, as he began to move behind her, stroking her back as he plunged into her. “Fuck! Harder!” His jaw clenched, and he held onto the headboard as Buffy bucked against him. He continued to fill her and then draw almost completely out, only to shock her again with a full penetration. She was writhing beneath him now, and she began to move so her back was pressed against his chest. With one hand holding them steady against the bed, he grasped a breast with the other, rolling the little bud between his thumb and forefinger as she began to spasm around his cock.

“Christ, pet. I’m gonna…”

“It’s ok. Me too. Oh GOD!” She bit her lip hard when Spike’s hand moved from her breast to tease her clit, his finger circling it and tweaking it until she couldn’t take it anymore. She practically strangled him as her orgasm took over, and when her juices flooded over him, he let go and came for the second time that night.

Collapsing on top of her, he quickly rolled off so that she could situate herself on her back beside him.

“Oh my God,” she breathed, running her fingers through her hair. “That was better than…anything I could’ve planned.” Spike chuckled and nuzzled her cheek, too spent to form words at this moment. Instead, he pulled her close and stroked her hair and gazed into those beautiful green eyes that he could get lost in for days.

After a while, Buffy kissed his forehead and smiled. She couldn’t believe that a few years ago, they’d tried to rebel against the romantic holiday. They’d formed an anti-Valentines’ Day club in which they decided to hate anybody who had a boyfriend or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, aside from their parents, of course. But now that they had each other, all animosity toward romance was out the window.

As they lay there, pressed up against each other, Buffy’s eyes suddenly widened, and she gasped, placing her hand on her stomach.

“What is it?” he asked, quickly sitting up in the bed as she lay there, rolling onto her back.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “I felt it!”

“What?”

“The baby! It kicked! It’s the first time I…oh God…” She bit her lower lip and grabbed Spike’s hand, placing it over the spot she’d just felt the little nudge. It kicked again, and her eyes looked up at him brightly; expectantly. “Well?”

“Don’t feel anything,” he admitted. Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s ok. It’s probably not a big enough kick for you to feel yet.” She smiled brightly. “Guess somebody’s ready to let his mama know he’s here.” Spike chuckled, and he leaned over to kiss her.

“Him?”

“Yeah. A little boy with his daddy’s eyes and his mommy’s hair.”

“Why your hair?”

“Because babies don’t come out with platinum hair just because daddy gets happy with the peroxide.” She smiled a little.

“Oi, I resent that.”

“I don’t. I like your hair like that.” She smiled and kissed his shoulder, crawling over him so she could rest against him, her head against his chest. “I wish we didn’t have to leave.”

“Me too, pet.” He stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. “But we don’t have to go anywhere right now, do we? We’ve got all night.”

She turned her head to look at him, a devilish glimmer twinkling in her eyes.

“I like the way you think, baby,” she grinned, licking her lips.

“Baby?”

“Mmm…are you ok with that?” Her hand wrapped around him once again.

“Keep doing that, and you can call me anything you like, kitten,” he groaned, pulling his arms around her and taking her with him into another passionate embrace.

Chapter 27

Spike and Dawn sat in the waiting room of Dr. Bennett’s office. Because Hank had a late meeting, Buffy and Spike were in charge of the little girl. Right now, Buffy was being examined, and Spike was just waiting for the nurse to come and get him so he could see the ultrasound.

Because of scheduling conflicts, Buffy’s ultrasound had been postponed until the beginning of March. She was already about eighteen weeks pregnant, almost halfway through the pregnancy. Dawn was fully aware that her sister was having a baby, though she was still a little uncertain about how the baby got in there in the first place.

“So they’re gonna show Buffy’s baby on a TV?” Dawn asked with wide eyes.

“Well, sort of, yeah,” Spike nodded.

“And the baby’s my brother or sister?”

“No, no,” Spike chuckled. “Buffy’s your sister, so that’ll make the baby your niece or nephew.”

“Oh, right. I knew that,” Dawn said quickly. “Are you gonna find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“I dunno, Little Bit. That’s up to your big sis, yeah?” Dawn nodded again.

“Mr. Pratt?” Spike looked up to see the nurse standing there with a smile on her face. “We’re ready for you and Dawn.”

“Thanks,” Spike said with a nod. “C’mon, Nibblett.” He took Dawn’s hand and led her back to Buffy’s exam room, where she was lying on the table with her belly exposed. The doctor was already moving the little wand over Buffy’s stomach.

Spike picked Dawn up so she could get a better look at the screen.

“Ok,” Dr. Bennett began, “here’s the baby’s head.” She took a few measurements. “Everything looks good here.” Buffy smiled up at Spike and then turned back to the monitor. “There’s your baby’s heart.”

“See the heart beating, Dawnie?” Buffy asked, pointing to the screen. Dawn’s eyes widened.

“Yeah,” she said, amazed, watching as the doctor pressed a few buttons. A swishswishswish sound filled the room, and Buffy’s eyes lit up.

“Heartbeat,” she murmured aloud. After the doctor took several more measurements and still images of the baby’s development, she began to move the wand around to look for the gender.

“Are you interested in knowing the sex?” she asked. Buffy and Spike looked at one another.

“It’s up to you, luv,” he offered.

“Ok,” Buffy said with a nod. “Yeah, we wanna know.”

“Yay!” Dawn exclaimed. “Be a girl. Be a girl!” The doctor laughed a little, and she started to move the wand around again.

“Hmm…”

“Hmm?” Buffy wondered.

“Well, somebody’s being stubborn,” the doctor chuckled. She pressed on Buffy’s belly a little, and she furrowed her brows. “Nope. Somebody’s shy.”

“You mean, you can’t tell?”

“The baby’s legs are crossed,” the doctor chuckled.

“Oh,” Buffy frowned. “Well, that’s ok. Maybe we’ll find out next time.” She smiled a little and looked up at Spike. “Right?”

“Right, pet.”

“Aw, I wanna know,” Dawn whined.

“You’ll find out soon enough, Dawnie,” Buffy smiled. “Whatever it is, we’ll know in a little over four months.”

“That’s forever away, though.” Dawn sighed, and Spike put her down.

“Everything looks great,” Dr. Bennett assured the soon-to-be-parents. “If you’d like, we can attempt to find out the sex of the baby at the next ultrasound.”

“Ok,” Buffy said with a nod. “Thanks, Dr. Bennett. “

***

“I still think it’s a boy. I don’t know why,” Buffy shrugged as she and Spike sat on the bench at the park watching Dawn play. It wasn’t a particularly warm day, but it was warmer than usual, so in order to keep Dawn happy, they’d promised her a trip to the park.

“I say it’s a girl.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see who’s right. Only one of us can be.”

“Unless it’s twins.”

“Shut up,” Buffy laughed. “It’s not.”

“Yeah, I know, but you should’ve seen your face, luv.” He reached over and placed his hand on her stomach, caressing it softly. Just as he was leaning in to kiss Buffy, his cell phone rang. With a groan, he reached into his pocket, retrieved the cell and answered. “‘Lo?”

Buffy watched as his face changed expressions every few moments.

“Yeah. Ok. Really? When? Alright. Um, did you call…right. Ok. Thank you. Yeah. Goodbye.” Spike shut his phone and slowly placed it back in his pocket.

“Who was that?”

“Uh…that was Mr. Giles. I guess someone wants to sign us.” Buffy’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God!”

“They wanna sign all of us, Buffy.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God! Spike! That’s amazing!” she exclaimed. She quickly pulled her arms around him and squeezed him tight. “I knew something good was gonna happen. I just knew it.” Spike was stunned as the girl he loved held onto him so tightly. The thought that he was being given a chance to do something with his life…something that would provide for his family…it was an indescribable feeling.

All he knew was that he had the chance to make a name for himself and to make sure Buffy and their baby had a bright future, and there was no way in Hell he was going to pass that up.

***

Buffy yawned and opened her eyes when she heard footsteps creeping across her bedroom floor. She sat up to see Spike moving toward the bed. The window was open, and she realized he’d just gotten there. When she glanced at the clock, she realized it was three in the morning.

“Spike?”

“Sorry, luv. Had to re-record a song about fifteen times until Ethan was happy.” Ethan Rayne was the producer of the record The Dingoes were working on.

“It’s three in the morning,” she whispered.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” she said softly, frowning.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he offered, sitting down next to her on the bed and reaching for her. She pulled away.

“I’ve got a test at eight o’clock, Spike. I really need to sleep.” She lay back down on the bed and sighed heavily. “I wish you’d have gotten here earlier.”

“I know, luv. It’s gonna be a little rough until the tracks are finished, but after that…”

“I know. I’m sorry,” she groaned into her pillow. “Let’s just go to sleep, ok?” Spike frowned but he crawled under the covers with her, pulling his arms around her and hoping she wouldn’t pull away. He sighed with relief when she turned to face him and smiled a little, kissing his forehead. “I love you. I know you’re doing your best, Spike. I’m just…I miss you when you’re not here.”

“I miss you too, luv,” he breathed, holding her close enough to feel her breath against his cheek. “No matter how long I’m gone, I’ll always come back, alright?”

“Let’s not talk about that, ok?” she asked, tears threatening to sting her eyes. She knew that once the band had a CD, they’d have a lot of promotional stuff to do, and it was going to take him away from her. Luckily, Ethan and Giles, who was acting as manager to the band, had come to an agreement to wait until after the guys graduated high school. So the summer would be a big promo tour, and the thing that scared Buffy was that Spike might not be there when the baby came in July.

“You know I’ll be here, Buffy. I’ll quit the band if I have to.”

“No you won’t,” Buffy argued. “This is huge, Spike. This is everything right now. It’s our future. Unless you don’t want it.” Spike looked away. He hadn’t thought he wanted it, but the thought of doing something right for his family? That was definitely something he wanted. Making money? Providing a solid foundation for their future? Yeah, that was all well and good, but the nagging thought in the back of his mind was that it might not last. And what if he became the kind of man he swore he’d never be? The kind of man who was never there for his family. No. He refused to become that man.

“I want this,” he assured her. “And I want you. And this baby. We’ll make it work, luv. You’ll see. It’ll all work out just fine.”

***

“Ugh, look at them,” Buffy grumbled, sitting at the lunch table with her hands folded over her belly. “Ever since people found out the guys are making an album, the girls have been all over…”

“Ixnay on the ankskay alktay,” Cordelia said quickly. Buffy made a face but quickly translated the pig latin in her head when Spike came over to sit down.

“Aren’t you Mr. Popular?” Buffy wondered.

“What?”

“Oh please! That one girl practically dry humped you against the wall over there. I saw, you know.”

“I didn’t bloody touch her!” Spike defended.

“No, but if looks could perform physical acts, she’d have had you bending her over the water fountain and…”

“Whoa!” Willow exclaimed, raising her hands.

“Sorry,” Buffy pouted.

“No need to be jealous, pet. Only have eyes for you, and you know it.” He grinned at her. “ You’re the only one I look at in the crowd when I’m on stage, and you know it.”

“Yeah. Real sexy that your biggest groupie is a pregnant cow with porn star boobs.” Willow, Cordelia, Oz, and Xander all exchanged glances. Spike, however, shook his head.

“You’re not a cow, luv. You’re a goddess.”

“Yeah. Right.”

“Isn’t my girl gorgeous?” Spike asked everyone at the table.

“You are beautiful, Buffy,” Willow agreed. “You look adorable pregnant.”

“Yeah. And those clothes I helped you pick out? Definitely helping.”

“And well, you know, the porn star boobs aren’t doing anything bad for you,” Xander offered, which landed him with an elbow in the gut courtesy of Cordelia. “Hey! I was helping.”

“No, you were ogling our friend’s boobs.”

“Ugh,” Buffy murmured. “I have to go to the bathroom. I swear to God if I hear one more girl whisper, ‘what the Hell is he doing with her’ I’m going to…” And her voice trailed off as she walked away from the table.

“So, those mood swings are kicking in, huh?” Xander asked. Spike just scratched the back of his head, deciding to keep mum on the topic at hand.

***

In the bathroom, Buffy walked out of the stall and washed her hands. As she was straightening her hair, Drusilla Lewis walked in. She’d been out of school for about a week, and now she was back, looking just as skinny as ever. Buffy couldn’t help but feel her hormones bubbling up again, but she forced herself to remain quiet as Drusilla stepped up beside her in front of the mirror.

“Heard the news about Spike and his band.”

“Yeah,” Buffy mumbled. “It’s great. He’s gonna be great.”

“Always knew he’d do something with his life. Didn’t think you’d be a part of it.”

“Well, obviously you didn’t think you would be either, since you were cheating on him and everything.” Dru flinched at that. “What’s the matter, Dru? It’s not like nobody knows. You cheated on him, and then you stayed with a guy who…who treated you like dirt, and…”

“And I got pregnant,” Drusilla pointed out. “I was very unlucky. As were you. Having to be stuck with the fruit of mindless affairs.”

“Great. Here comes the psychobabble,” Buffy murmured.

“The thing is, I grew to love my baby,” Dru murmured, stroking her flat stomach as she gazed into the mirror, unblinking. “But he’s gone now. All gone.” Buffy’s eyes widened, and she turned to Dru.

“You…oh…I’m…I didn’t know,” Buffy said quietly. “I’m…I’m sorry, Dru.” She didn’t know what else to say. What else could she say? Standing there with her very obvious pregnant belly was obviously not going to do much in the way of comfort the other young woman, who looked as if she were moments away from completely breaking away from reality.

So, Buffy simply turned around and left, feeling a nagging sympathy in her chest for Dru, though she couldn’t help but guiltily feel that maybe it was the best thing that could have happened out of the entire mess of a situation.

Chapter 28

“How far along are you, dear?” a little blue-haired lady asked, as she reached across the checkout counter to pat Buffy’s blossoming belly. Buffy sighed. That was the sixteenth person to do that today.

“Six months,” she said with a forced smile.

“Oh my! You look like you’re ready to go at any minute.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled. That was the tenth person who’d told her that today. “Here’s your change.” The little old lady took her receipt and the few dollar bills and went on her merry little way. Buffy frowned and turned off her light, closed up her lane and headed up to her boss’ office. “I’m heading home, Ben.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow, Buffy.”

“Yeah,” she said with a half-hearted smile. On her way out the door, she muttered to herself, “and the day after that. And the day after that…and the day after that.”

Her face lit up when she saw Spike’s Desoto parked outside. He flashed the lights at her, and she smiled, waving at him.

When Buffy slid into the car, Spike greeted her with a loving kiss.

“Hey, pet. How was work?”

“Dull,” she said with a sigh. “Everybody keeps touching my stomach. And, apparently I’m really fat.”

“You’re not fat, kitten. You’re pregnant.” He reached over and placed his hand on her stomach, knowing that Buffy wouldn’t get angry at him for it. “How’s the champ doing?” Buffy smiled a little.

“Fine,” she chuckled. When the baby had started kicking a lot, Spike had started calling it Rocky, because apparently it was going to be a boxer, but when Buffy forbade him to call her child, which had a fifty percent chance of coming out as a girl, Rocky, he’d settled for champ. “How was your night?”

“Got another song recorded. Ethan thinks it’ll be ready by the time school’s out.” Buffy nodded.

“Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“What about school? I mean, you haven’t really said much more about going to UC Sunnydale, and I…”

“I dunno,” he murmured, pulling out onto the highway.

“Oz and Jesse are gonna go, so…”

“I don’t know, Buffy,” Spike explained. “If I go to school and work with the band with this record, I’m never gonna be home. I want to spend time with you and with the baby, and somebody’s gotta watch the baby when you’re in class.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly, “but what about your education? I mean, it’s great that you’re doing this with the band, but what if…” She suddenly grew quiet, and Spike glanced at her curiously before turning his attention back to the road.

“What if we don’t make it? What if the album doesn’t sell, and we’re out on our asses?”

“Spike…”

“You don’t think we can make it, do you?”

“That’s not what I said. I just think it’s important that we both have good educations.” She watched him swallow hard and immediately felt bad. “Spike, I love you. I love what you’re doing for our family, but I don’t want you to sacrifice school…”

“Then what am I gonna sacrifice, Buffy? I can’t sacrifice you and the baby. You’re my life. You’re the reason I’m even in the sodding band. If I quit the band, I can’t support you. I can’t save up money to even put toward an education someday.”

Buffy looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap.

“You don’t want to be in the band anymore?”

“I didn’t say that,” he groaned, wishing they could not argue right now. They argued quite a bit lately, but they never went to bed angry. Still, the arguments were coming more frequently, and Spike knew that with the stress of the baby coming in three months pressing on both of them, the arguments were probably going to get worse.

He had qualified for student loans, and all he had to do was sign up for classes for the fall. Buffy had been wanting him to sign up just for the sake of it, but he had been so busy recording and doing gigs with the band that it was getting more and more difficult for him to even think about school, especially with Buffy’s frequent trips to the doctor and the fact that they were helping out with Dawn as much as they could when Hank had his meetings in L.A. or had to hold conferences calls at home.

“I don’t know what to do, Buffy. You wanted me to join the band, you want me to go to school, you thought this record deal would be great. But I’m not here enough, and I know you hate that. I don’t know what to do, luv. I just…” He sighed and hit the dashboard in frustration. Buffy blinked back her tears.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t…I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy.” Spike pulled the car over and looked at her as if she’d grown an extra nose or something.

“Are you mad, woman? You’re the only thing in this sodding world that makes me happy. Don’t you know that by now? You’ve always been the only thing that could make me smile when the rest of the world is falling to hell around me.” He shook his head. “You make me happy, Buffy. And I want to make you happy, but I don’t know how to do that if I can’t do the things you expect me to do.”

“I don’t expect you to do anything,” she argued, taking his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m scared, Spike. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen when this baby gets here. I want us to raise him together, but I know that we both have futures to make for ourselves as well as for our family, and that’s going to mean you leaving me…”

“I’d never leave you.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She shook her head. “I guess I never realized how huge this music thing was going to turn out to be, not even when Ethan decided to produce your album.” She closed her eyes. “I love you. I want you to do what you want to do. If you don’t want to go to school, then don’t go. If this music thing is what you want to pursue, then please, do it. Just don’t…don’t do anything because of me. Do what you have to do for yourself. Me and the baby? We’re not going anywhere, ok? I’m gonna stand by whatever you choose, Spike, because we’re in this together, and I want you to be happy.”

Spike leaned in and kissed Buffy softly, silently thanking her for being so amazing. When he pulled back, he cleared his throat and veered back out onto the road, heading for home with a lot on his mind.

***

Buffy bent over at her locker to pick up something she’d dropped. As she bent over to pick it up, a loud giggle erupted from nearby. She stood up and turned around to see Harmony and Dru standing nearby with a bunch of girls.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy decided to ignore them, until one of the jocks came sauntering over to her.

“Hey Summers,” he said with a bright, white smile, leaning against the locker next to hers.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“I’m Nick O’Neill.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, I was wondering,” he said, barely able to keep a straight face, “are you still seeing that singer guy?”

“Yeah. Spike and I are dating,” she replied, closing her locker and holding her books to her chest.

“Well, if you guys break up, give me a call, ok? After you have your kid and lose the weight, of course.”

“Fuck off, Nick,” Buffy grumbled.

“Oh, I bet you say that to all the guys.” It was at that moment that Parker came walking over. Buffy pushed past Nick, but Parker blocked the way.

“Come on now, Buffy,” he breathed, “he just wants to know what the fuss is about. Spike’s got nothing but good things to say about you in the locker room after gym, if you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t know what you mean, Parker,” Buffy murmured, “but if you’d like a reminder of what he did to you last time you acted like a prick, I can go find him and ask him to repeat it.” Parker’s face went pale. “Exactly what I thought. I know Spike wouldn’t tell you a fucking thing, because you’re an asshole. So get out of my way.”

“Such language coming from the little mother,” Nick laughed. “Bet she said that to you when you were fucking her, huh Abrams?” Parker sneered down at Buffy, and she felt the urge to throw up. For once, she prayed for morning sickness so she could ruin those hundred dollar pair of shoes on his feet.

“You’re such a dick, Parker,” Buffy grumbled, walking away from the two guys. Parker was the only one that followed. “I never slept with you.”

“The rest of the school doesn’t believe that, so…”

“I don’t care what they think.”

“You don’t? Somebody does. Your little boyfriend…”

“My boyfriend beat the hell out of you the last time you started lying. Are you really that stupid? You don’t learn, Parker. I guess you and Angel were best friends for a reason. You’re both scum.” She turned and tried to walk away, but he pushed her back against a row of lockers. The halls were emptying out now, as it was almost time for the bell to ring. “Back off. When Spike…”

“Well I don’t see him around right now, do you? And he’s not gonna touch me unless he wants to get suspended again. I bet Snyder would find a way to expel him, maybe even make him take summer school instead of graduating.”

“Get away from me,” Buffy warned, as Parker’s hand moved to her hip.

“Come on, Buffy. You need a real man.”

“Hey buddy.” Parker felt a tap on his shoulder. Sighing, he turned around to see Xander Harris standing there.

“Beat it, Harris. I’m in the middle of something.”

“I don’t think Buffy wants to be in the middle of it, so why don’t you leave her alone?” Parker smirked and pushed Xander back.

“I think you should just mind your own business.” Buffy took the opportunity to move away from the lockers. Xander moved over toward her and held a hand up.

“You come any closer, and…”

“And what, Harris? You’ll let me hit you and then run away crying?”

“Go ahead. You’re such a big man with all your threats. Hit me. Then we’ll see who’ll be talking to Snyder.” Parker finally nodded and backed off.

“We’re not done, sweetheart,” he said, licking his lips and smiling at Buffy.

“Stay away from me, or next time, I’ll be the one that beats the crap out of you, you jackass.” Parker just winked at her and turned away. Xander turned to his friend and eyed her.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” she muttered, running her fingers through her hair. “I know guys can be assholes, but Parker is so way beyond…”

“Parker’s just acting like an even bigger jerk, because his best buddy Angel’s behind bars.”

“Rightfully so,” Buffy replied. “He doesn’t even care, Xander. He doesn’t care that his stupid friend is the reason my mom…”

“He’s an idiot, ok? He always has been, and I’m pretty sure he’ll still be that way twenty years from now. Just don’t let him get to you. You don’t need that right now.”

“Yeah, I know. But next time, I’ll knock his lights out myself.” She glowered at Parker, who was halfway down the hall now, and she turned back in the direction of her class room.

“Where’s Spike?”

“He cut out early. He’s working on the album with Oz and Jesse.”

“Ok. Me and Cordy’ll give you a ride home today, ok? I just don’t want those guys harassing you…I’ll feel better if we take you.”

“Thanks, Xander.” She gave him a little hug. “I’ve gotta get to class.”

“Me too. Later, Buff.”

“Bye.” She waved at him and headed off to class, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. She placed her hands on her belly and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Just a few more months, she told herself, and she would be out of Sunnyhell High forever.

Chapter 29

Buffy lay awake in the middle of the night, her hands spread out on her belly, feeling her little kicker moving around. She was amazed he even had the room to move around, considering he was due in less than three months.

“Go to sleep, baby,” she muttered. “Mommy has an English test in the morning.” Of course, the baby didn’t listen. So, she sat up in bed, threw off the covers, and got out of bed. As she was heading toward the stairs to go down to the kitchen for a glass of water, she heard whimpering coming from Dawn’s room.

Frowning, she moved to lean against the door, trying to hear better.

“Mommy,” the little girl cried. Buffy chewed on her lower lip and opened the door. Dawn was lying on her stomach in the bed, crying into her pillow.

“Dawnie?” Dawn sat up quickly.

“Buffy?” she sniffled.

“What’s wrong, Dawn? Did you have a bad dream?”

“Uh-huh,” she cried, brushing the tears off her face.

“Want me to tell you a story?” Buffy offered, moving across the room.

“No,” Dawn cried. Her long, brown hair was a mess, and Buffy smoothed it back for her. “Can I sleep in your room?”

“Dawn…”

“Please?” One thing Dawn had going for her was the fact that those beautiful, sad eyes could get her anything she wanted if the moment called for it.

“Alright, but don’t hog the covers, ok?” Dawn nodded and hurried out of her room. Buffy went downstairs, got a drink of water, used the bathroom, and by the time she got back to her room, Dawn was asleep under her covers.

Shaking her head, Buffy got in too and pulled the covers over her bulge of a stomach. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on going back to sleep, but the baby was too active. She couldn’t wait until July when the baby came. Of course, it was scary to think that she was going to be a mother soon, and she didn’t have a clue as to what she was supposed to do, but she was ready for the pregnancy part to be over with.

She turned her head to peer over at her little sister. God, she was so innocent and young, and Buffy still couldn’t believe this little girl was part of her blood. They were sisters, and Buffy considered Dawn her sister, as much as she hadn’t really wanted to in the beginning. After all these months, she was pretty sure that life without Dawn would be quite different.

“Sleep tight, kiddo,” she murmured, kissing the top of the little girl’s head. She closed her eyes and hoped sleep would pull her under soon.

***

A few nights later, Buffy, Spike, Dawn, and Hank were all seated around the dinner table. Everyone was full and sitting around talking now. Buffy and her dad were talking about school, while Dawn related the events of her day to Spike.

Suddenly, however, Hank cleared his throat.

“Dad?”

“Dawn, why don’t you go upstairs and feed Mr. Fish Face?” Mr. Fish Face was Dawn’s new pet goldfish that she’d won at a street carnival.

“Ok!” Dawn said excitedly, hurrying out of the dining room and up the stairs.

“What’s going on?” Buffy wondered.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you both, but I thought that maybe we’d better talk without Dawn. You know how excited she gets sometimes,” Hank pointed out.

“Ok,” Buffy said slowly. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I know the both of you have been working very hard making money for when the baby arrives. I also know that Spike, your father’s going to stop helping you once you graduate.” Spike looked down.

“That’s right,” he confirmed.

“Look, I’m not stupid. I know Spike crawls into your window at night, Buffy. I mean, I might be older than you, but I have ears.”

Buffy’s eyes bulged, and she blushed.

“I…”

“Look, with the baby coming, and with Spike’s band recording, I think the best thing is for you to live together.” He cleared his throat. “So, Spike, if you’d like, you can move in here. You can pay rent, but I’ll only ask half of what your father is helping you with now.”

“Mr. Summers, that’s really generous of you, but…”

“But you want to take care of yourself,” Hank said with a nod. “I get that. It’s just…you’re both very young, and I want you to get out on your own when you can, but when the baby comes, you’re going to need help. Spike, depending on what you decide, you’re going to be busy with the band, and Buffy will be busy with school.”

“Dad,” Buffy interrupted, “I could move in with Spike.”

“I know you’re an adult Buffy, but until you graduate high school, I’d prefer it if you lived under my roof.”

“Dad…”

“If after you graduate, you want to find a place of your own, I’ll be happy to help you move. I just don’t want you to have to worry or stress right now. The baby’s due soon, and graduation’s just around the corner. You both need stability, and I think you’ll have that more if you live here than if you’re out there struggling on your own.”

“Mr. Summers…”

“Spike, the offer stands. I know you want to do what’s right for your family. You’re a good man. I just think that the two of you are going to need each other more than ever with these new changes going on. I think it’s the best thing for the baby.”

“You actually want my boyfriend to live here?”

“You’re eighteen. He’s eighteen. As long as you keep the displays of affection to a Y rating while Dawn’s around, I don’t have a problem with the two of you sharing a room.”

“Ok, where’s my dad and what’d you do with him?” Buffy asked. “You’re actually insisting that Spike moves in here and sleeps in my room?”

“There’s always the couch or the basement, which I’d actually prefer, but you’re both adults, and I think it’s ridiculous to insist on two people who are about to be parents together not to share the same bed.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, and she glanced at Spike.

“That’s really nice of you,” Spike said quietly, “but I wouldn’t want to…”

“I’m offering, Spike,” Hank insisted. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. It would just be for a few months. That way you can save half of your father’s check and maybe have enough for a down payment on a nice place for you, Buffy and the baby.”

Buffy took Spike’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. She knew that he’d been on his own for months now, but she couldn’t deny the fact that it would be so much nicer to lay down with him at night without having to worry about what time he snuck out so her father wouldn’t catch him.

“Alright,” Spike finally agreed. “I guess we can give it a go.”

***

Spike yawned tiredly as he helped the band pack up after a late performance at The Bronze. Buffy had dropped Spike off and had gone on to work, and she was coming by after her shift ended to pick him up. He still had a while, so he hung out back stage while another band performed.

“You leaving, Oz?” Spike asked, as Willow stood expectantly at the stage door.

“Yeah. Willow’s helping me with a paper tonight. You waiting on Buffy?”

“Yeah. She gets off work in a few minutes, and then she’s coming to get me.”

“Well, have fun, man. See you Monday.” Spike nodded and waved Oz off. He sat down and opened up his notebook in which he generally scribbled lyrics down.

“Anybody back here?” Spike looked up to see a somewhat familiar face peeking through the curtains.

“Uh, yeah,” he said slowly. “But you can come back. It’s just me.”

“Hey, you’re the lead singer of The Dingoes, aren’t you?” He looked at the girl. Tall, great figure, provocatively dressed.

“You’re Faith, right?”

“How’d you know?”

“I’ve seen you before. You’re Xander Harris’ cousin.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m Spike.”

“Spike,” she said, eyes widening in recognition. “You’re the guy that bailed on me when Xander didn’t want to take me around town, huh?”

“I had other plans,” he said quietly, thinking back to the night he and Buffy made love for the first time since, well, their first time. “But from what I heard, you had a pretty good time that night anyway.”

“Yeah,” Faith smirked. “It was a good party.” She moved toward him. “You were pretty good up there.”

“Thanks.”

“You been singing long?”

“Not really,” Spike shrugged. “But apparently somebody likes us. We’re working on an album.”

“Really? That’s pretty sweet.”

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, looking around her. “Are you looking for someone, or…”

“Nah, I was just getting away from the crowd. It’s fun for a while, but sometimes it’s nice to take a break, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” he agreed, glancing at his watch.

“You expecting somebody?”

“Yeah. My girlfriend,” he pointed out. Faith nodded slowly.

“Right. Well, it’s too bad you’re taken, because there’s gonna be a lot of girls throwing themselves at you when you become a big success.”

“Well, I’ve got everything I need at home, thanks,” he muttered, turning his attention back to his lyric book. Faith smiled a little and turned around.

“You sure about that?” She leaned against the doorframe, shirt riding up her sides just in the right places. Spike cleared his throat. “’Cause what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“I’m flattered, but…”

“Yeah, you’re taken. I got it.” She smirked and shook her head. “It’s a shame.” With that, she turned and walked away, swishing her hips from side to side as she went back out into the crowd. Sighing and shaking his head, Spike went back to writing in his lyric book, patiently awaiting Buffy’s arrival.

***

“Oh God!” she cried out against his shoulders as he slammed into her, bringing her into her third orgasm of the night. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and he muffled a roar against her neck, spilling warm jets of his come inside of her, while her slick walls trembled around him.

Minutes later, he pulled out of her and lay back on the bed beside her. She sighed softly and bit her lip, turning her head to look at him.

“That was…wow.”

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked quickly, turning to his side.

“No! That was…I thought maybe you were too tired or…”

“Never too tired for you, luv,” Spike promised, kissing Buffy’s soft, pink lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” she grinned. She took a deep breath and groaned softly when the baby kicked her.

“S’wrong?”

“Baby’s gonna keep me up all night again. I just know it.” Spike placed his hand on her belly, feeling his child moving inside his mother’s stomach.

“Come with me.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t wanna wake your dad or Dawn.” He helped her out of bed, and they both slipped into their night wear. Well, Spike pulled on a pair of shorts, considering he usually slept naked. He then took her hand, grabbed his guitar case, and led Buffy into the hall, down the stairs, into the kitchen, and down into the basement. He flicked the light on and led her over to a cot against the wall. “Here…”

Buffy lowered herself down with a little “oof” escaping as her weight shifted. Spike chuckled and sat down next to her on the cot. He began to strum at his guitar, plucking out chords he’d learned. He wasn’t the best guitar player yet, but he was learning quickly.

Buffy smiled, recognizing the acoustic version of a song she’d heard years ago, and he melted her heart just a little when he began to sing.

“Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face”

Buffy cradled her stomach in her hands and leaned against the wall, rocking slowly back and forth as Spike watched her and smiled.

“With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open”

He fell in love with her all over again, watching tears begin to form beneath her lashes. She smiled, her lower lip trembling, and he looked down at her stomach, picturing his son or daughter in his mind. He couldn’t decide if the baby would look like him or like Buffy, but either way, the thought of this child made his heart swell with pride. He was going to be someone’s father for the rest of his life.

“Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life”

Buffy watched as Spike swallowed a lump in his throat, and she reached out, placing her hand on his shoulder as he played. She felt the baby calming down within her, which usually tended to happen when he heard Spike’s voice.

“With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything ...oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open”

Buffy closed her eyes again, listening to Spike’s soothing voice, feeling all of her worries melt away. She wondered if others felt this same way when he sang. Like he was singing right to their soul. Like he knew exactly what they needed to hear.

She watched as his gaze drifted back to her belly, and she smiled, stroking small circles there when felt a foot nudge her. She giggled a little but didn’t say a word, as Spike finished out the song.

“If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...”

She wondered how true those words rang to Spike. Did he really not believe he had those same opportunities? It broke her heart to think that he didn’t know where his life was going. She didn’t want to be the one to hold him back, but at the same time, but she couldn’t lose him. Not after everything they’d been through.

“With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything..oh yeah
With arms wide open....wide open”

When he finished out the guitar part, the basement grew silent. And then Buffy’s tears led to a choked sob, and Spike felt guilty immediately.

“What’s wrong, luv?” he asked, taking her hands in his.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. It’s just…hormones.” She sniffled. “That was beautiful.” She looked down at her belly. “I think he’s sleeping now.” She swallowed hard and looked away, but he placed his fingers under chin and turned her head so she’d look at him.

“Talk to me.”

“I’m ok…really. I just…”

“Don’t talk to me as your boyfriend. Or as the father of your baby. Talk to me as your best friend. I’m still him, remember?” Buffy smiled a little and wiped away a tear, nodding.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” she asked. “You’ve been here for me, and you’re doing all this for our family. I just…I feel like I’m holding you back?”

“What?” He cocked his head to the side. “How could you even think that, luv? You’re everything to me, and you know that.”

“I…don’t want to tell you what to do.”

“I know that.”

“I know you’re still deciding what you want to do, but…Spike, listening to you? The way you sing with everything you have…there’s no doubt in my mind. You’re a singer, Spike. This is who you are, and I know you’ve been writing songs and practicing, even when you’re not at practice. I know you joined the band because you thought it’d be good for our family, but I’ve watched you, Spike. I know you love it, and I know this is what you want.” Spike looked away. “No, hey. Look at me.” She sniffled and placed her hand against his cheek. “If this is what you want, we’ll make it work. Ok?”

“It’ll be hard being away from you.”

“It won’t be all of the time. And I’ll come with you when I can. This is what you need, Spike. I know it.” She leaned in and kissed him. “And I’m going to be the fattest groupie in the audience, but I don’t care, because I know you’ll be singing to me.” She grinned at him, and he smiled back.

“You’re amazing, Buffy,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

“Yeah,” she smiled, shrugging as she squeezed his hand. “What are best friends for, anyway?”

Song Credit: With Arms Wide Open by Creed

Chapter 30

“Oh my God,” Buffy murmured, looking at herself in the mirror. “I’m a planet! A red and gold planet!” She turned sideways, examining herself in the mirror. She was wearing her maroon-colored cap and gown which had a tassel of yellow with gold flecks in the string.

“You look great, Buffy,” Cordelia offered, as she came walking over to the mirror. “We all look big in these gown anyway.”

“Oh get away from me,” Buffy groaned, disgusted. “I know you’re a supermodel underneath it, so don’t even go there.”

“She’s right, Buff,” Willow pointed out, coming into the room from the hall wearing her own cap and gown. “You look great. Just think, in a little under a month, we’re graduating!”

“Yeah! That gives me a little under a month to go up about three more sizes.” Buffy tossed her cap and gown onto the bed. She peeled the robe off and hung it up behind her door before going over to collapse on her bed. Cordelia and Willow shared concerned glances. Buffy pulled a pillow over her head and groaned before tossing the pillow aside. “I wasn’t expecting to look sexy or whatever, but I didn’t think I was going to get this huge. I mean, look at me! This baby’s still got another month and a half to go, and I look like I’m about to burst at the seams. Literally!”

“How’s that stretch mark cream working for you?” Cordelia wondered.

“Thank God for small miracles.” She frowned. “Sorry. I’m sure my complaining is bumming you guys out. It’s a happy time. Yay for graduation.”

“You miss Spike.”

“Well, he’s been gone a week. Of course I miss him,” Buffy pointed out.

“If it makes you feel any better, I miss Oz,” Willow murmured, lying down on the bed next to Buffy. “But he called last night and told me that they’re just about done settling the deal on their album. Looks like it might be out by Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a nod. “That’s what Spike said.”

“You don’t sound so happy about this, Buffy,” Cordelia said quietly, removing her own gown and tossing it aside. She pulled a chair up next to the bed. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. I mean, one minute I’m excited for him, and the next I’m terrified that I’m gonna lose him.” She caressed her swollen stomach.

“He’d never leave you. He loves you too much,” Willow assured her friend.

“Yeah. And according to Xander, you’re all Spike talks about when you’re not together,” Cordelia pointed out, getting a little smile out of Buffy. “This album might not even work out. I mean, have you looked through the CDs at the store lately? A lot of them, I haven’t even heard of the bands.”

“Well, I don’t want that for Spike. I want him to be successful. This is what he wants, and it’d be great, because it’d mean that I could quit that crappy job at the grocery store. But…I just…I hate being away from him. We’ve been attached at the hip since we were in elementary school, and being without him….especially now…it sucks.”

“It’ll be ok, Buffy,” Willow promised. “They’re coming home tonight, and they don’t have to go anywhere again until after graduation.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a nod. “It’s after graduation that I’m worried about.” She frowned. “What if he’s not here, Wil? What if he doesn’t…I mean…I don’t want him to miss the baby being born.”

“Hey,” Cordelia said quickly, tugging on Buffy’s hand. “Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up. We’re not gonna sit around moping. We’re almost high school graduates. We’re going out and having fun.”

“You’re forgetting that I’m the size of…”

“Uh-uh,” Cordelia shushed her. “You’re not doing this. You’re not saying bad things about yourself anymore tonight. Now put on something sexy. We’re going out.”

“Sexy? Have you seen my maternity clothes?”

“You have sexy maternity clothes,” Cordelia reminded her.

“Cordelia…”

“Oh, fine. What do you wanna do, Buffy?”

“I don’t know. I just…I’m so tired.”

“Well, then let’s get you some air. We can go for a walk in the park.”

“What? You? Walking in the park?”

“Well, it’s warm. There’ll be shirtless guys.”

“Fine. Wil, you’re coming?”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “We can go and not think about our boyfriends and how they’re not here together, right?”

“Right,” Buffy grinned.

“Ok, come on. Let’s go have some fun!”

***

Spike yawned as he pulled up in front of the house. The lights inside were all off, so he figured he’d just slip in quietly and head up to bed. However, when he got out of the car, he heard footsteps scraping along the sidewalk. He turned to see the slender form of Drusilla coming toward him. He glanced at his watch. It was after midnight.

“Dru? What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she breathed. “Didn’t expect to see you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m going up to bed, so…”

“I don’t sleep much anymore, William.” Spike sighed heavily. He hated it when she used his name like that. He knew he was in for a painful conversation. Looking around, he knew he should just let her walk home, but he couldn’t let her just walk around at night, not when she looked dazed out of her mind like that.

“What are you on, Dru?”

“Parker gave me something to help me sleep,” she whispered. Spike sighed and shook his head.

“You’re shagging him now?” He saw the pain in her eyes.

“I can’t sleep at night, William.”

“You already said that, Drusilla.” He turned to walk away from her, but he heard the choked sob that escaped her throat. “Bloody hell. Get in the car. I’ll drive you home.”

“He comforts me.”

“Fantastic. I hope you two will be very happy together. Now if you don’t mind, I have some sleep to catch up on.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me about the baby?”

“There is no baby, Dru. Buffy told me.”

“Your baby…it’ll be here soon.” She smiled sadly, looking past him. “My baby should still be here. He should be kicking. He should be…”

“Dru,” Spike said, softer this time, “I don’t have time for this. I’ll take you wherever you need to go. Just…take my advice. Stay away from Parker Abrams. The bastard…”

“They don’t see me like you did. You’re the only one, Spike. You’re the only one that really saw me.”

“I don’t think I did, Dru. I think…”

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I did those horrible things.” Spike frowned and shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter. None of that matters now. I’m happy, Dru. For the first time, I’m happy, and…I think that’s partly because of you. If you hadn’t done those things and opened my eyes, I wouldn’t have…” He looked away. “I love her, Dru. She’s everything to me.” He saw the pain growing in her eyes. “I’m not sorry.”

Dru started to walk away, but he reached out to her, actually touching her voluntarily for the first time in almost a year.

“Hey. I’m not sorry, because this is the happiest I’ve ever been. Ever. You knew when we were dating. You had to have known I had feelings for her.” Dru looked away, shaking her head. “Yes you did. That’s why you hated me spending time with her. You knew.”

“She’s not the one for you, William.”

“She’s exactly the one for me.” He watched as she crumbled a little more. “I’m sorry for what you lost, but you can’t come running to me anymore. I can’t clean up your mess or pick up the pieces in your life anymore, Dru. I can’t help you. You have to help yourself. I have a family to take care of now.” Dru sighed and nodded her head.

“It’s wrong.”

“You might think it is, but it’s not wrong for me.” He looked down at his keys in his hand. “I can give you a ride.”

“No you can’t,” she said with a sad smile. “Your family’s waiting, William.” She turned and walked away, wrapping her arms around herself as if it were a cold day. He watched her for a few minutes before he turned and walked up the sidewalk and into the comfort of the place he was beginning to call home.

***

“You’re home!” she exclaimed in an excited whisper, sitting up in the bed as he came through the door. Spike grinned at her and came to meet her at the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he whispered, stroking her hair. “Bloody miserable without you.”

“Me too,” she whispered, holding him tight. “I hate it when you’re not here.” Spike kissed the top of her head.

“I know,” he agreed, “so do I. But it’s gonna get better, luv. You’ll see.” He stroked her belly. “How’s the baby?”

“Not moving around as much. I asked the doctor, and she said that’s normal. He’s running out of room.”

“So…it’s a boy?”

“No,” she chuckled. “I mean, I don’t know. It was hard to tell. She isn’t really sure at all, but I told her it’s ok. We don’t have much longer to wait.”

Spike got up and took off his duster and his boots. He smiled, watching her lay back in bed, getting into her comfortable position. Spike crawled in next to her and took her hand in his.

“It’s late, luv. Let’s get some sleep, and we can catch up in the morning, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I like that plan.”

Spike brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently.

“I love you,” he murmured.

“Mmm,” she smiled, “I love you too.”

Chapter 31

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” Hank beamed, hugging his daughter as soon as they left the high school premises. “You looked beautiful up there.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Buffy smiled, taking off her cap and holding it under her arm. Dawn swiftly swiped it and put it on her own head.

“How’s it feel to be a graduate?” her dad wondered.

“Pretty much the same as it felt to be a non-graduate, but I’m sure it’ll sink in Monday when I don’t have to go to school.” She grinned and looked over Hank’s shoulder to see Spike coming their way. He’d held back a few minutes to talk to Oz and Jesse about playing at the big party at The Bronze tonight.

“There he is,” Buffy said with a smile. “You look so handsome in that cap and gown.” She hurried over and hugged him.

“You look amazing, pet,” he insisted, kissing her softly.

“Ew,” Dawn giggled. “Look! I graduated too!” They turned to her, and she made a face at him. Buffy laughed and took her cap back.

“Get in the car, Dawnie. I’ve gotta go home and rest. This baby’s not gonna be up for The Bronze tonight if I don’t get any rest.” They all piled into Hank’s car and headed off toward home.

“You’re sure you’re up for a party tonight, Buffy?” Hank wondered. “The baby’s due next month, and…”

“I’m only staying for a few minutes. I just wanna make an appearance. It’s the last time I’m ever going to see some of these people, and…well, that’s kind of a good thing, but I wanna go anyway.” She placed her hands on her stomach. “Besides, when my baby’s my age someday and asks me what I did the day I graduated school, I don’t want to tell them I went home, changed into something hideous but comfortable and sat around with my feet up all day because I was eight months pregnant.”

“I think your dad’s right, luv. The doctor did say to stay off your feet as much as possible.” Buffy had quit her crappy grocery store job three days ago on account of that.

“Look, I know my limits,” Buffy insisted. “I want to go, say hi to my friends and leave. I’ll be in and out in five minutes, tops. I’ll stay to see you guys do a song, and then I’ll catch a ride home with Cordelia.”

“What makes you think she’ll wanna leave?”

“I can pull the poor, pregnant friend card, and she’ll have to,” Buffy replied with a devious grin. “Besides, I need to use that card while I can. In about a month, I’ll just be the girl who had a baby but nobody feels compelled to do things for anymore.”

“But you’ll be somebody’s mom,” Hank pointed out. “Being a parent is scary, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.” He glanced in the mirror to see his oldest daughter smile at him. “Once that baby’s here, you won’t care about anything else but making the best life possible for it. You’ll see…not too much longer.”

***

“Have you seen Cordelia?” Buffy asked Willow as she found her at a table with Xander.

“She’s running late,” Xander explained. “She’ll be here in a few minutes. You’re leaving?”

“I’m supposed to go home and rest,” Buffy pointed out. “Xander, can you give me a ride?”

“No can do, Buffster. I caught a ride with Oz and Wil.” Buffy frowned and nodded, glancing up at the stage, where Spike was playing his guitar for the first time in front of the crowd.

“You have to leave right now?” Willow wondered.

“I guess not. I can sit. That’ll be ok.” She pulled up a chair next to her friends. Xander narrowed his eyes at her.

“You don’t look so good, Buff. Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m just tired. If you were a girl, I’d tell you to wait until you’re eight months pregnant and see how you feel, but since that’s not going to happen, just take my word for it.” Xander raised an eyebrow but said nothing. The three turned their attention to the stage and watched happily as the band continued their set.

***

About halfway through the set, Cordelia arrived, and Buffy waved her over.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late. My parents took me out to dinner, and…”

“And I wasn’t invited?” Xander asked. “I know your dad hates me, but I’m your boyfriend. You’d think this is the kind of thing I’d be invited to.”

“Trust me,” Cordelia assured him, “you should be glad you weren’t there.”

“Cordelia,” Buffy spoke up, “I know you just got here, but do you think you can take me home? I promised Spike that I’d leave after one song, but I’m still here, and he looks kinda worried.”

“Oh…sure. Sure. Xander, save me a dance, ok?”

“Sure thing.” Xander grinned at her, and Buffy moved to get up.

“I’ll ride with you,” Willow offered. Buffy smiled and nodded at her friend, and they started toward the doors.

“Wait!” Buffy exclaimed.

“What?!” Cordelia and Willow asked at the same time, frantic looks playing across their faces.

“Um…I just have to use the bathroom first.”

“Oh,” Willow breathed. “Oh, okay. Yeah.” They made their way through the crowd toward the back hallway. Buffy ducked into the bathroom, and Willow and Cordelia waited outside.

“Is she ok?” Cordelia hissed, loud enough for Willow to hear over the crowd but quiet enough that Buffy probably couldn’t hear from the bathroom.

“I think she’s just tired. It’s been an exciting day with the graduating and everything. She was so afraid she was gonna trip on the stage or something. I think she’s just ready to go home and crash.”

“Oh my God!” Cordelia and Willow looked at each other, wide-eyed at the sound of their friend’s scream.

“Buffy?” Willow called in.

“Oh God!” Buffy came out of the bathroom, eyes widened in fright.

“What happened?!” Cordelia asked frantically.

“I…I don’t know. I think…I was…my water…um…”

“Oh God,” Willow breathed.

“Oh God what?” Cordelia asked, obviously still perplexed.

“Buffy? Did your water break?”

“I don’t know…I think…I’m not sure. I was in there…doing that…but I don’t…”

“Ok,” Willow assured her, trying to stay calm, “Cordelia, take Buffy to the car. We’re going to take her to the hospital now.”

“What?!”

“Buffy’s water might have broken, and I think that means the baby’s coming.”

“Holy crap!” Cordelia exclaimed. “Ok. Come on, let’s…oh my God!”

“I’m the one that’s supposed to be oh-my-God-ing here!” Buffy exclaimed. She grabbed Willow’s arm. “Get Spike!” Willow nodded quickly, and she motioned for Cordelia to get Buffy out of there.

“Cordelia, call Buffy’s dad and tell him to get to the hospital!” Willow hollered over her shoulder.

“Oh…ok! What’s his number?”

“Just take my phone,” Buffy urged, shoving her purse at Cordelia as the two hurried out of the club together.

Willow rushed through the crowd, swallowed hard and not even thinking about it when she rushed up onto the stage. Spike’s eyes widened when he spotted his red-headed friend. The music stopped, and the crowd booed, but Willow hurried over to Spike anyway, whispering in his ear.

“What?” he asked, leaning in closer.

“Buffy! We’re taking her to the hospital!”

“What?! Bloody hell!” He turned back to the crowd, and everyone was gawking at him, waiting for more music. “Um, there’s been a change in plans. Devon? Devon, are you in the crowd?”

Devon came walking up to the stage, drink in hand. Spike knelt down to his level.

“You ok to play tonight?”

“Sure, man. What’s up?”

“Thank the bloody gods,” he murmured. Standing again, he slid his guitar strap off of his shoulder and handed the guitar over to Oz, who put it down.

“Devon’s going to be taking my place this evening. I’ve got a baby on the way and a girlfriend who’ll have my head if I don’t get going right the hell now.” A few cheers floated up from the crowd, but most everyone else was too confused to understand what was going on.

Spike rushed off the stage, Willow called to Oz, telling him to meet her at the hospital after the party and she hurried off with Spike, eager to get Buffy out of there and into the best possible care.

***

“Spike!” Buffy cried out, the moment he slid into the back of Cordelia’s car with her.

“Oh, baby, I’m here,” he assured her, taking her hand and scooting in close. Willow scooted in with him, as Xander was in the passenger’s seat.

“Is everybody who’s coming here?” Cordelia asked, panicking.

“Yeah. Go, Cordy,” Willow urged, slamming the car door. Cordelia hit the gas and peeled out of the parking lot.

“Cordelia, slow down! I want to live to see my baby born!” Buffy exclaimed.

“Well, I don’t want you having it in my car!”

“Just focus on the road, Cordelia,” Spike broke in. “Just get us there, alright?”

“My dad’s coming. You called, right?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, I called,” Cordelia promised. “He’s on his way. He’s probably gonna beat us there.”

Hearing those words helped Buffy relax a little, and she leaned against the car seat, closing her eyes.

“Hey,” Spike whispered, stroking her cheek. She opened her big, sparkling eyes and looked at him, worry creasing her brow. “We’re having a baby, luv.” His hand moved to her belly, and she placed hers over his and smiled.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I can’t believe it.” She swallowed hard. “It’s too early. He’s not due for another…”

“It’s alright, luv. The doctor said this might happen. Said it would be ok, remember?”

“I know, but…”

“Shh,” he assured her. “It’s ok, pet. Everything’s gonna be alright.” He told her that a lot, but this time, it was going to take a lot of strength to make himself believe it too.

***

An hour later, Buffy was finally in a room and hooked up to a fetal monitor. The baby’s heart was strong and steady, and Buffy’s nerves were just about shot. The doctor had examined her, and she’d been surprised that Buffy’s water had in fact broken. She’d assured Buffy that the baby should be perfectly healthy for delivery, but she’d hooked her up to different medications that Buffy wasn’t even certain of the names.

But, she was in labor, and she was lying in the hospital bed with Spike sitting next to her and her friends standing around the bed. Hank was holding a sleeping Dawn in his arms and leaning against the wall.

“You guys, you really don’t have to stay. It’s late, and the baby probably won’t be here until sometime tomorrow.”

“We’re staying, Buffy,” Xander replied. “It’s not like we’ve got school tomorrow. We can stay in the waiting room. Free coffee.” Buffy smiled a little.

“You really don’t have to, you know?”

“But we are,” Willow insisted. She looked at her watch. “Oz’ll be here soon. I’m gonna go wait for him so he doesn’t get lost on his way up.”

“’Kay,” Buffy murmured, waving as her friend walked out. She looked back at Xander and Cordelia. “You guys, go get some rest. It’s gonna be a long night.”

“Does it hurt?” Cordelia wondered.

“Cordy,” Xander warned.

“What? It’s just a question.”

“It doesn’t hurt right now. I’m just nervous. The contractions haven’t been too bad yet.” She swallowed hard. “God, it’s gonna hurt really bad, isn’t it?” It was then that she wished that her mother were there with her. Her mother had known what it was like, and despite the fact that she would have known it would be painful, she’d have done everything she could to assure her daughter that the pain would be gone the instant the baby arrived.

“Come on,” Xander said softly, taking his girlfriend’s hand. He looked at Buffy. “We’ll see you in a bit, Buff, ok?”

“Yeah. Thanks for being here, guys.” She smiled as they left the room, and Spike took her hand.

“You’re sure you’re feeling ok?”

“Yeah. Just scared. Really scared. It’s early.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “but you heard the doc. Baby’s gonna be just fine.” Of course, nothing was going to be certain until the baby was actually born, and even then…

“We don’t have anything, Spike,” she whimpered. “No crib. Nothing. The baby shower was supposed to be…”

“So we’ll have the shower after the baby gets home. Should be alright. Bet you’ll get even more stuff for the kid when there’s actually a baby the ladies can coddle.” Buffy giggled at that.

“You have a point.” She swallowed hard. “And I guess this’ll be a good. At least they’ll know whether or not to buy pink or blue, huh?” Spike chuckled and smoothed her hair back, kissing her forehead.

“That’s right, luv.” He sighed softly and sat back in his chair. “Close your eyes and try to get some rest. We’ve got a big day ahead of us, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “A very big day.” She looked over at her dad. “You should take Dawn home. She shouldn’t have to spend the night in the hospital.”

“Are you kidding me? My first grandchild is being born, and…”

“Dad, I don’t think it’s gonna happen soon. You don’t have to stay.” She really wanted him to, honestly. She felt very helpless right now, and as a child, her father had always made her feel safe. Just knowing that he was near made her feel a little better.

“I want to stay, sweetheart,” Hank whispered, moving closer to the bed, holding tightly to Dawn. “I was there to see you brought into the world. I want to be here when my little girl has her first baby.” Buffy sighed and nodded, smiling a little.

“Ok. But if she wakes up and wants to go home, promise me you’ll take her home?”

“Alright, hon,” he agreed with a nod. “I’m gonna go find a cozy waiting room and let you get some rest. Spike? Walk with me?” Spike looked at Buffy, not really wanting to leave her, but she gave him an encouraging nod.

“Sure,” he agreed. Buffy sighed and smiled, watching as the two most important men in her life headed out of the room with her little sister. She stroked her belly and wondered if by this time tomorrow, she’d have a new man in her life or if she’d have the little girl she’d often dreamed about when she was a little girl herself. Either way, she couldn’t wait to hold him or her and hopefully see an equal mix of both parents. This baby was a symbol of its parents love, and she hoped that for its entire life, her child could look upon their marriage as she’d once looked at her parents’.

***

“This looks like a good spot,” Hank whispered, placing Dawn down in a double seat so she could sprawl out. He took off his jacket and draped it over her before turning toward Spike.

“Mr. Summers?”

“Since the minute she was born, Buffy was always my little girl.” He shook his head. “I never wanted to see her in any kind of pain, and then, last year, I moved out, and I realized that was the worst thing I ever could have done to her.” Spike swallowed hard, listening to Hank’s declaration. “I wish I could take back what I did, but if I took everything back, Dawn wouldn’t be here, and she and Buffy are the two best things I ever accomplished with my life.”

Spike and Hank slowly sat down across from where Dawn slept.

“When Buffy told me she was pregnant,” Spike said quietly, “I was so scared, but with everything she was going through right then, and everything I went through with my dad, I knew that the worst thing I could do would be to show her that I was even more scared than she was.”

“I should have been there,” Hank said quietly. “I handled moving out all wrong. I should have…I don’t know what I was thinking. All I know is that I’m glad she had you and her mother when she found out. I just…when I heard my seventeen year old daughter was having a baby, I thought that I’d failed her or…or that it was my fault, because I left, and she needed comfort.” He cleared his throat. “But I can see that you love her very much, and I see that she loves you just as much. I’m grateful for that. And I hope to God you hold onto what you’ve got, because when you lose it, you’ll never get it back the way it was. Not exactly.”

“No need to worry about me, Mr. Summers. I’m not going anywhere.” Hank nodded and patted Spike’s shoulder.

“My daughter’s lucky to have you.”

Spike smiled a little at that. “No. I’m the lucky one.”

Chapter 32

Buffy thrust her head back against the pillow when Dr. Bennett finished examining her.

“How much longer?” she groaned.

“You’re almost there, Buffy. Not much longer now.” It was well past noon, and Buffy was seriously wondering if the contractions could get much worse. When the next one hit her, she realized, yes they could.

“You’ve got to get this kid out of me. I think I’m going to die, Dr. Bennett. I really think…” Dr. Bennett placed a hand over Buffy’s and shook her head.

“You’re doing just fine, Buffy. You’re quite the trooper.” Buffy groaned. People had been saying that to her all day long.

“Ok, if you’re not here to deliver my baby, get out.”

“Buffy,” Hank started, coming around the curtain the doctor had drawn during the examination.

“It’s ok,” Dr. Bennett assured him. “Buffy’s one of the more pleasant laboring women I’ve talked to this morning. I’ll be back in an hour to check on you.”

“An hour?!” And then the doctor was gone. Buffy grabbed Spike’s sleeve. “Did she say an hour?!” Spike sat up a little. He’d been on Buffy’s side of the curtain during the examination, and he’d thought it best to keep quiet. He knew Buffy’s pain was horrible, but he also figured the pain was only going to get worse when it came time for delivery.

“It’s alright, kitten,” he soothed.

“This baby’s never going to get here,” she cried. “I haven’t been able to sleep. I’m so hungry. I can’t have anything but ice chips. I just…I want it out!” Another contraction hit her, and she clutched the pillow.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered, stroking her hair and softly kissing the top of her head. “Is there anything I can get you?”

“I just…I want my mom,” she cried. “I wish she was here.” Spike felt his heart jump into his throat. Hank sighed softly and came around the other side of the bed.

“I wish I could bring her here for you,” Hank whispered. “I know she’d love to be here for this. I wish she was.”

“It’s not fair,” she whimpered. “She should be here. She should…oh God!” She squeezed her eyes shut, and Spike looked up at Hank, wondering if this was normal. Hank, as if he knew what Spike was thinking, just gave him a little nod.

“I’ll go check on Dawn. See if Willow and Cordelia are keeping her entertained.” Hank headed out, and Spike continued to soothe his girlfriend, rubbing her back as she held strong during her contraction. When it was all over, she sighed and blinked away her tears.

“I need you to tell me…tell me what you always tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me it’s gonna be ok.” Spike smiled a little and bent forward to kiss her lips.

“Of course it’s gonna be ok, luv. In a few hours, this is all gonna be over, and we’ll have a new mess of worries.” He winked at her. “But those’ll be more along the lines of, ‘which way does the nappy go again?’” Buffy couldn’t help but grin at that, and she nodded.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

***

“No. Dad. I just…I wanted to tell you that Buffy’s in labor,” Spike explained. “No. I’m not bloody asking you for money. I’m just telling you that your first grandchild is about to be born, and…no. No, Dad! You know what? I don’t even know why I bothered to call. I don’t know what the hell happened to turn you into such a bastard, but I’m through.” Buffy’s frown deepened as she only heard the one side of the conversation. “Go ahead. Stop sending the checks. I don’t need you anymore. I just thought you should know. Congratulations, you’re almost a grandfather.” With that, he shut his cell phone and threw it down on the table.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said quietly, slowly relaxing after a painful contraction. They were coming even more frequently now.

“It’s not your fault, luv,” Spike assured her. “Don’t know why I called him.”

“Because he’s your father.”

“He used to be my father. A good one, too. Guess he thinks that because his last marriage broke up, he doesn’t have to be a family man anymore. Good for him. I don’t bloody care.”

“Yes you do,” Buffy pointed out. “You wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t care.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore,” he said softly. “Don’t need his money. We’ll be alright.” He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back when another contraction hit. It was then that Dr. Bennett came walking in to check on Buffy. She waited until Buffy’s contraction was over before examining her. Spike took Buffy’s hand and stroked over her knuckles, whispering words of encouragement into her ear.

“Please give me some good news,” Buffy pleaded. “Please…”

“Definitely good news,” Dr. Bennett beamed. “How do you feel about getting this baby out now?” Buffy’s eyes widened.

“It’s time?”

“Time to start pushing,” Dr. Bennett said with a nod. “You’re fully dilated and one hundred percent effaced.

“You did so good, sweetheart,” Spike murmured, kissing Buffy’s brow. “The hard part’s almost over.” Buffy swallowed hard and nodded.

“I’m scared, Spike.”

“I’ll be here, luv.”

“Ok. Just…don’t leave me,” she breathed. But the moment she started to squeeze his hand, her eyes widened. “Wait! You have to tell them. Tell them the baby’s coming.”

“You want me to…”

“Hurry!”

“Right,” Spike nodded, hurrying out of the room to tell Buffy’s friends and family that the baby was about to be born. When he arrived back in the room in about three minutes, the doctor pulled the curtain around the bed and paged for the nurse. “They’re all waiting just outside, luv.”

“Ok,” she breathed. “Ok. We can do this, right?”

“Right. We can do this. You can do this. I know you can.” Spike stood at her side and held onto her hand.

“Alright,” Dr. Bennett said with a nod, “let’s get this show on the road.”

***

“Daddy, why is Buffy yelling like that?” Dawn asked, looking up at her father with fear in her eyes.

“She’s just trying to get the baby out,” he explained.

“Oh. Well…how does it come out?” she wondered, crinkling her nose. Hank sighed but picked his daughter up, giving her a hug.

“Come on. Let’s go wait out of earshot, ok?” He nodded to the rest of the group, who followed Hank back out into the waiting room.

“God, that sounded so bad,” Xander muttered under his breath.

“I’m so glad that’s not me in there,” Cordelia said, holding up a hand. “Why would somebody put themselves through that? No wonder my mother yells at me so much. I mean, if she went through half of what Buffy’s going through back there…”

“Well, I’m sure Buffy knew it was coming,” Willow added. “I mean, she’s not stupid. She was pregnant, watching all those baby story shows on TV and reading the books, so she knew it was gonna hurt.”

“When Buffy was born,” Hank pointed out, “Joyce said there is no way to even describe the pain. But it doesn’t matter once the baby’s born, because that baby becomes the most important thing.”

“Yeah, well I hope that’s one good baby, because Buffy sounded like she was dying in there,” Cordelia frowned.

“Daddy? Is Buffy gonna die?!” Dawn’s eyes were round and full of worry. Xander nudged his girlfriend, and Hank rubbed Dawn’s back.

“No, honey. Xander was just using a figure of speech. Right, Xander?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right.” Xander knelt down in front of Dawn. “It’s just an expression, Dawnie. I tend to over-exaggerate sometimes, and…”

“What’s that mean?”

“Xander?” Cordelia asked. “Just give up.” Xander sighed and nodded.

“Don’t worry, Dawn. Buffy’s just fine.”

“What’s taking so long?” Cordelia wondered.

“These things take time,” Hank pointed out. “Buffy was a stubborn baby. Joyce pushed for hours and hours.”

“Poor Buffy,” Willow murmured. “She’s gotta be exhausted. I mean, she hasn’t been sleeping very well, and well, yesterday was graduation.” She shook her head. “She’s lucky she’s got Spike, or else she’d never get any sleep once the baby’s home.”

The doors opened, and everybody turned around. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Spike or Dr. Bennett. It was a nurse, and she was hurrying off to another patient’s room. Everybody heaved a collective sigh and settled in for a very long afternoon.

***

“I can’t do this anymore,” Buffy cried, collapsing back onto the pillows. “I can’t. I just…I’m too tired, Spike. I can’t do it.” She was crying now. She’d been pushing for two hours, and while she’d made a lot of progress, she was so tired she wasn’t sure she had the strength left in her.

“The head’s right here, Buffy,” Dr. Bennett assured her. “Give me your hand. Do you wanna feel the baby’s head?” Buffy looked worriedly at the doctor before slowly extending out her hand. The doctor took it and guided it down, and Buffy’s eyes widened at the feel of her baby’s scalp on her fingertips.

“Oh my God. It’s right there,” she whimpered. Spike took a look and felt a lump form in his throat for the fiftieth time that day. Buffy was incredible. Everything her body was going through…well, he’d never seen anything like it before.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Spike urged. “You can do this. Just a few more pushes, right doc?” He looked desperately at the doctor, who gave him a little nod.

“Just a few more, Buffy, and the head’ll be out. Can you do that for me, please?”

“I don’t…”

“Hey, look at me,” Spike urged, squeezing her hand. Buffy turned her head so she could look up into his eyes. “You can do this. I know you can. We’ve made it this far, and we haven’t let anything stand in our way, right?”

“Right,” she sniffled, groaning as the next contraction slammed into her.

“This baby’s coming, and you need to push it out, luv. You need to stay strong, and when it’s out? When it’s out, you can rest all you want, ok?”

“Ok,” she breathed, lower lip trembling. “Ok.” She took a deep breath, and Spike placed an arm behind her back, helping her sit up just a little. She began to push, and Dr. Bennett’s nurse pushed the cart over. There were a lot of scary, confusing looking things, but Spike chose not to look at it. Instead, he focused everything on supporting Buffy so she could find the strength within herself to push the baby out.

One of Buffy’s hands squeezed Spike’s, and the other grabbed onto the side of the bed. She planted her feet hard against the stirrups, and she pushed with everything she had in her. The pain was beyond explanation, but she closed her eyes, picturing that baby in her mind and willing her body not to quit on her.

Spike couldn’t really believe this was all happening. Not even nine months ago, he hadn’t imagined that he’d ever be able to tell Buffy how he truly felt about her. Now, here they were, and Buffy was bringing their first child into the world. Everything he’d ever wanted in his life was happening. Maybe it was a little sooner than he’d expected, but he wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything.

“Good! Good,” Dr. Bennett broke through Spike’s thoughts, quickly grabbing for something on the cart. “The head’s out. I need you to give me a couple more pushes, and then the baby’ll be out, ok, Buffy?”

“Oh God,” Buffy cried. “Ok. Ok.” She took a deep breath, looked up at Spike and then pushed, arching her head back as she felt the baby passing out of her and into the arms of Dr. Bennett. When she opened her eyes, she looked up to try to read the reaction on Spike’s face. He was staring down at their squirming child, and his eyes were wide and filled with tears.

Within moments, a wail pierced the air, and Dr. Bennett held the baby up so Buffy and Spike could get a look.

“Oh my God!” Buffy exclaimed. “It’s a boy!”

“You were right, baby,” he murmured, kissing her softly. “Look at him.”

“He’s so tiny,” Buffy cried, as the doctor handed him to her. He squirmed and cried, and despite the fact he was covered in stuff that Buffy probably would have cringed over a year ago, he was absolutely perfect in every single way.

“You did it,” Spike murmured. “God, you were incredible.” Buffy let out a little sob as the nurse toweled the baby off and then tucked a little blanket around him to keep him warm while his mother held him.

“I can’t believe he’s here. I can’t believe we have a son!” Buffy swallowed hard and watched as the nurse slipped a little blue and white hat on the baby’s head. “Look at you. Oh God, you’re so amazing.” She looked up at Spike and then back at the baby. “He looks like his daddy.”

Spike beamed with pride, and Buffy slowly handed the baby off to his father.

At eighteen years of age, Spike Pratt was holding his first born child, seeing a perfect mixture of himself and Buffy in the wrinkled, bald little person, and he had never felt more accomplished in his entire life.

“Hey,” he said softly, stroking the baby’s fingers. “You’re here. You’re actually a…a person.” Dr. Bennett smiled knowingly at the nurse, but Spike looked at her. “Am…am I holding him right?” She nodded.

“As far as first time fathers go, I think you’re already doing a pretty good job.”

Spike smiled down at his son and shook his head. “Can’t believe I helped make you.” He couldn’t help but let a couple tears slide out.

“Let’s take him over and weigh him, ok?” The nurse reached for the baby, and Spike reluctantly handed him over. He sat down next to Buffy’s bed as the doctor worked at the foot of the bed, cleaning up the new mom and doing other things that Spike really didn’t want to think about. All he wanted to do was let Buffy know how much she meant to him.

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered. “You did it.”

“I can’t believe it,” she sighed softly, brushing away a tear. “I don’t know what we’re gonna do, Spike.” She looked over toward the scales, where her son was currently weighing in at 5lbs. 8 oz. before looking back at Spike. “But I don’t remember ever being this happy.” Spike shook his head.

“Me either, luv.”

The nurse carried the now swaddled baby back over and placed him in Buffy’s arms.

“Hi,” she said softly, stroking his pink cheek. “You’re so little. God, I thought you’d be fifteen pounds.” Spike chuckled and pulled his arm around Buffy.

“We don’t have a name for him yet.”

“I know,” Buffy said quietly. “I don’t think he’d appreciate being called Joyce.” She chewed on her bottom lip.

“And I know you like ‘William,’ but I don’t want my kid to hate his name and have to come up with his own nickname someday.”

“But,” Buffy pouted, “I think it’s a beautiful name. William Pratt Jr.”

“I don’t want him to be a junior,” Spike pointed out. “He should have his own name.”

“Okay,” Buffy smiled, cradling her baby. “Can we give him William for a middle name?”

“I think that’d be ok,” Spike agreed with a little nod.

“Good. ‘Cause I think I have the perfect name for him.”

Chapter 33

“He’s so cute, Buffy!” Willow exclaimed, holding Baby Boy Pratt in her arms. He was just about an hour old, and he was as cute as could be. He’d had his first bath and had that adorable baby smell of powder.

Everybody had crowded around the bed, and Buffy and Spike were holding hands, even more in love than ever, it seemed.

“Let me hold my grandson,” Hank said eagerly, reaching out for the little bundle. Willow handed him over, and he cradled the little boy in his arms and knelt down so Dawn could get a good look at him. “Look at you. You look just like your daddy. Yes you do.”

Buffy’s heart melted at the sight of her father with her son. She bit her trembling lower lip, and Spike kissed the side of her head.

“So what are we calling this little slugger?” Hank wondered.

“This is Elijah William Pratt,” Spike announced proudly.

“Elijah?” Xander asked thoughtfully. “I like it. What made you think of that?” Hank looked up in surprise and cocked his head at Buffy.

“Your mom told you?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said, sniffling and wiping at her eyes.

“Told what?” Cordelia wondered, leaning her head on Xander’s shoulder.

“Mom and Dad wanted to name me Elijah if I was a boy,” she pointed out. “But I was a girl.”

“Clearly,” Spike chuckled.

“Elijah,” Dawn said softly. “I like his name. But he’s so small.”

“You were that small once, sweet pea,” Hank pointed out. “Well, not that small. You were a pretty big baby. Elijah was a little early, so he’s a little small.”

“Is he ok though?” Cordelia wondered.

“Yeah,” Buffy announced. “His weight was ok, so we don’t have to spend extra time in the hospital. Thank God. I wanna go home as soon as possible.”

“Oh, just wait until you’ve been home 24 hours with a newborn,” Hank smiled, “you’ll be missing the nurses that come in to help in the middle of the night.”

“Great,” Buffy smirked. “Thanks.”

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Dawn insisted.

“Alright, alright. I’m gonna take Dawn to eat. Why don’t the rest of you come and let Buffy and Spike have some time? I’ll pay.” He handed Elijah off to Spike.

“Gee, Mr. Summers. That’s awful nice of you,” Xander grinned, “especially since we’re all unemployed, penniless high school grads who have no idea what we’re going to do with our futures.”

“Way to bring the happy down, Xander,” Oz said, patting him on the back, as they filed out of the room. Buffy couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face as she watched Spike with their son.

“Look at him,” Buffy smiled. “And he’s got blue eyes.”

“Most babies have blue eyes when they’re born. Never know, they might turn green.”

“Aw, a green-eyed Spike,” she mused. “He’s gonna have all the girl babies in the nursery swooning, you know.” Spike chuckled at that and rocked his son slowly in his arms. The baby blinked a few times before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

“That’s my boy,” he cooed, stroking his son’s cheek.

“Let me hold him,” Buffy urged, reaching out. Spike placed their son in her arms and watched in amazement as her smile brightened and her eyes lit up. She had barely been a mother for an hour, and to Spike, she was the best one he’d ever seen. She held such love for that little boy in her heart, and he knew that there was no way in Hell he wanted to miss a moment of their new life together.

***

Later that afternoon, Buffy was sleeping, and little Elijah was in the nursery. Spike was resting in the chair next to Buffy’s bed. As exhausted as he was, he couldn’t sleep thinking about everything that was going to happen when they went home.

He had his album to promote, Buffy had school to get ready for, and at the same time, they had a baby to take care of. The tough stuff was going to hit them hard, and they both knew it, but right now, as he looked at her sleeping, he couldn’t help but feel completely and utterly at peace with the fact that for the rest of his life, Elijah Pratt was going to call him Dad, and Buffy would be the one he woke up with each morning and went to sleep with each night.

Spike looked up when Hank walked into the room. He glanced over at Buffy and then back over at their guest. Hank had an envelope in his hands, and Spike furrowed his brows and followed him out of the room.

“Spike,” Hank said quietly, “this came for you in the mail today.” Spike looked down at the envelope as it passed from Hank’s hands to his.

“What is it?” He looked at the return address. It was from the bursar’s office at UCS.

“I took Dawn home to get a change of clothes, and this was waiting. You should probably open it. Looks important.”

Spike slowly ripped open the top of the envelope and looked back up at Hank, who just nodded toward the envelope. Clearing his throat, Spike unfolded the paper and began to read.

“Dear Mr. Pratt,

Thank you for your early payment for your first semester’s tuition at UC Sunnydale. Please meet with your advisor to schedule your semester as soon as possible.” He looked up at Hank. “What is this? Did you…”

“You didn’t have any grants did you?” Hank asked, eyes wide.

“No, I didn’t,” Spike replied cautiously. “Did you…”

“Seems like somebody’s really concerned about your education.”

“I already decided not to…”

“Maybe somebody saw that Oz was planning to go to take classes as well as be in the band. Maybe they thought that you have enough potential to balance your music and your education.”

“Mr. Summers…”

“It’s Hank, Spike,” Hank said quietly. “You’re the father of my grandson.” He looked down at that piece of paper. “Whoever paid your first semester’s tuition must really think a lot of you.”

“But the baby…and Buffy. If I do this…”

“If you do this, you’ll be able to prove to yourself that you’re capable of much more than you think you are. My daughter sees that, but she wants you to be happy. Maybe whoever did this for you thinks that you’re torn between two worlds. Maybe think you can have both. Maybe having both means learning how to be a good father and a good man in the process. You’ve been through so much, Spike, and I think that’s only made you stronger. That’s why you and Buffy are so right for each other. You’ve both had terrible things happen to you, but you have each other, and you see it through together.”

“I…”

“A baby is a big responsibility, but it’s something that you two have to take care of now. But it doesn’t mean that your futures are over. You have family, Spike. You have me, and you have your friends. Whatever you and Buffy need, we’re going to help you out. Not everybody in this world leaves you out in the cold.” He placed his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Think about it, Spike. Think about what this could mean for you and for your family.”

“Daddy?” Dawn came skipping down the hallway with Willow and Cordelia right behind her. Hank turned quickly before Spike could say a word, and he walked off to tend to his youngest daughter.

Spike stared down at the bursar’s office statement in his hand and looked back over at Buffy’s hospital room. Without another thought, he folded the paper and put it in his jeans’ pocket. This could wait until later.

***

“Welcome home,” Buffy murmured, carrying baby Elijah into the house. “This is where mommy, daddy, grandpa and aunt Dawn live.” The baby was fast asleep, but Buffy spoke to him anyway. She had him cradled in her arms, and Spike had her things from the hospital in both hands. He placed them down in the hallway and helped Buffy into the living room and over to the couch.

“You ok, pet?”

“I’m fine,” Buffy giggled. “Just glad to be home.” On the way home from the hospital, they’d made a quick stop by the store to purchase a bassinet, so the baby would have a place to sleep for the night. They’d bought three packages of diapers, a few cans of formula, and a set of five baby bottles. Those things, along with a few blankets and outfits brought in since the baby was born, were all they had so far, and it was going to have to tide them over for a few days until the baby shower, which had been moved up again.

Hank and Xander came walking in with the box containing the bassinet parts. Xander had asked if the display model could be purchased, but Spike had slapped him over the head and told him that he was an idiot. Xander had let it slide and chalked it up to sleep deprivation.

“Alright, I think we can take it from here, Xander,” Hank said with a nod. “Thanks for your help.”

“See you at the baby shower, right?” Buffy asked. Xander made a face. “C’mon. Oz and Jesse will be there too. It doesn’t always have to be an all girl thing, you know.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be there,” Xander assured her. “Congrats again, you guys. Still think you should have named him Xander. Or Alex. Heck, even Al would have…”

“Later, Harris,” Spike chuckled, shooing Xander out the door. Once the door was closed, Hank, Dawn, Buffy, and Spike all stared at each other.

“Well, your dad and I will get the bassinet put together. You need anything, luv?”

“We’re doing ok for now, I think,” Buffy said softly. Spike nodded and headed off to construct the first out-of-hospital bed his son would ever sleep in.

Dawn came over to the couch and sat down next to Buffy.

“He’s so little,” she cooed.

“He was a little early, but he’s completely healthy,” Buffy assured her. She glanced down at her little sister. “You wanna hold him?”

“I thought I was too little?”

“Well, I think you’ve grown a little bit since the other day. C’mon. Scooch back.” Dawn’s eyes lit up, and she did as her sister had asked, pressing her back firmly against the couch cushions. Buffy grinned and watched Dawn hold her arms out, and she gently placed the baby in her lap. “Hold his head.”

“Like this?”

“Yeah. Just like that. Look at you,” Buffy grinned. She reached into her purse and pulled out the camera, which had taken so many pictures in the last couple of days that she was sure the battery would crap out at any moment. She snapped a quick shot of her sister and Elijah.

“He doesn’t have much hair,” Dawn pointed out.

“Nope, but I’m sure he’ll have a ton of it very soon.” What little hair Elijah Pratt did have was very soft and very light brown. Maybe their little one would be blonde after all.

“I think he looks like Spike, except he’s littler.”

“Yeah,” Buffy grinned. “He does look a lot like Spike.”

“You can have another one, and she can be a girl, and she can look like you!” Dawn explained.

“Um, I’m not sure it works that way,” Buffy laughed, “but I think we’ll stick with just the one for now and see how it turns out.”

“Ok,” Dawn shrugged. She leaned forward and kissed Elijah’s forehead. “When you get older, you can’t have my toys, but maybe I’ll share them with you. Don’t worry, I won’t share the really girly ones.”

Buffy held her hand over her mouth and stifled a laugh. Shaking her head, she felt the tears well up in her eyes again. She was pretty emotional with the craziness that came with her out-of-whack hormones.

“My arm’s tired,” Dawn said after a few minutes.

“Ok, I’ll take him back.” Dawn nodded, and a moment later, she made a face.

“What’s that smell?” she asked, crinkling her nose. Buffy laughed a little and cradled the baby in her arms.

“Dawn, have you ever helped change a baby’s diaper before?”

“No,” she said quietly.

“Wanna learn?” Dawn’s eyes widened, and she nodded.

“Ok! But can you do the gross part?” She handed Buffy the packet of baby wipes, and she grinned when her sister laughed.

“Sure, I’ll do the gross part. You just hold his hands and talk to him, ok?”

“Ok!”

Buffy smiled, taking in the scene of her son being tickled and kissed by her little sister, while her boyfriend worked upstairs with her father putting the baby’s bed together. She realized then that maybe life wasn’t so perfect, but right now, in this minute, she’d never been happier.

Author's Note: Sorry I've been away. I started a new job, and I'm completely exhausted when I get home. But I hate leaving stories unfinished. I was close to the end of this one anyway, and I decided to go ahead and write the epilogue. Hope it doesn't disappoint! Let me know what you think! Thanks!

Epilogue

One Year Later

Buffy yawned as she lay on her side, sprawled out on the bed with one arm crooked to prop up her chin as she studied for her exam in English class in the morning. She could hear Spike rattling about down the hall, and she could hear the TV blaring from Oz and Willow’s room.

Sighing, she shut her book and sat up on the bed, looking around the room. With a smile, she gazed at the pictures that decorated the wall. Pictures of Elijah’s milestones. His first smile, his first tooth, his second tooth, his first attempt at crawling, and of course, his first steps. The latest pictures were of him and Dawn at his first birthday party. His blonde, curly hair was matted with cake and ice cream, and he was a sticky mess. But beneath all that gunk was a pair of gorgeous blue eyes and pink, rosy cheeks. He was the spitting image of his daddy. Buffy only hoped her next baby might have a hint of her in its features, though she wouldn’t trade her son’s handsome features for anything.

Shortly after starting classes in the fall, Buffy, Spike, Willow, Oz, Cordelia, and Xander had all pitched in and rented an old house near campus. It had once been used as a frat house, so with all the bedrooms, it easily accompanied the group of friends, plus Elijah. Still, it wasn’t uncommon to see Hank and Dawn around the place, considering they came over nearly every day for a visit.

The past year had been a true test for Buffy and Spike, but they had made it through, marrying shortly after Elijah’s six month birthday. While there was still so much pain from Buffy’s past to work through, she had patched up her fractured relationship with her father--which, sadly, couldn't be said about Spike and his father--and she had formed a very close bond with her little sister. Still, it didn’t make up for the fact that her mother was gone. Joyce would never get to know her grand children.

Though Buffy took solace in the fact that Angel was still in jail, and he would be there for a long time to come. It only frightened her that one day, he would be free. But for now, she was content with the fact that she had her husband, her son, and her friends. Without them, she wasn’t sure what would have become of her after her mother’s death.

“Knock knock.” Buffy smiled when the bedroom door opened, and Spike came in, clad only in a pair of black pajama shorts. He was flying Elijah in. The rosy cheeked boy was laughing as his daddy pretended he was an airplane. “Somebody wanted to say goodnight to Mummy.”

“C’mere, you,” Buffy grinned, reaching out as Spike put the boy down in her lap. “Did Daddy read you a bedtime story?”

“Dada wead!” the boy said with a nod.

“Good,” Buffy whispered, stroking the little boy’s hair. “Mommy loves you very much, you know that?”

“Mama wuv.”

“Yeah,” Buffy grinned. She smiled when Spike got into bed with them and he leaned over to kiss her shoulder.

“How’s the studying coming along?”

“If I don’t know it now, I won’t know it tomorrow,” she shrugged. She looked at the clock. “Don’t you have a gig?”

“Mmm,” Spike murmured. “Not tonight. Oz moved it to tomorrow.”

“Oh. That’s good,” Buffy breathed. “I don’t really feel like being alone tonight anyway. I just want my two favorite guys here…” She lay down, placing Elijah between them. The little boy kicked his feet in the air and clapped his hands. Buffy smiled and peered across her son to stare into her husband’s identical eyes.

It wasn’t every night that they got to lie like this as a family. With Spike’s crazy schedule with the band, plus his classes, it was rare that they ever slept at the same time. Still, they managed to make it work. It had come down to the fact that Spike was really enjoying his time at UC Sunnydale, and playing in the band was becoming more and more of a past time, thought it still paid the bills.

Yeah, he was recognized wherever he went, but he didn’t care about that. Buffy had feared that maybe fame would get between them, but it hadn’t. Whenever Spike sang, she could feel he was only singing for her.

“Not going anywhere tonight, luv,” he assured her, reaching over to stroke her arm as she turned onto her side. “How’s my favorite girl?”

“Which one?” Buffy asked with a giggle.

“C’mon, luv. You know you’re number one in my life.”

“Yeah, until she gets here, and then I’ll be shoved aside,” Buffy teased, as Spike stroked her belly. Joy Elizabeth Pratt was scheduled to make her debut in about four months. “Anyway, we’re both fine. I’m just tired.”

“Sure you’re up for next semester’s classes?”

“Yeah. I mean, finals are next week, and if I can survive those and focus on this baby getting here, I’ll be set to go next semester.” She sighed softly. “I really don’t wanna go back to working at that awful grocery store.” She stroked baby Eli’s cheek. “But it’s not so bad. I mean, I look at him, and I look at you, and I know this family’s worth it. I don’t like being away from you, but when you’re here? It makes up for all of it, you know?”

“I know, luv,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss her softly. “Hate being away from you. Bloody hurts like hell. But when I come home to you, I see how much you love me. Know I’m doing what’s right for our family. Know you’ll always be here for me.” His eyelids drifted shut, and Buffy smiled softly, resting her hand upon his cheek. He was always so tired at the end of the day.

“Yeah,” she whispered, closing her eyes and leaning in to place a soft kiss to his lips. “That’s what best friends are for, right?”