Emily Rosemont sat back in her executive leather chair as she considered the possibilities for a new ‘Where are they now?’ child star program, she just needed the right star to bring the show back to the top of the charts again. For too long they had been covering half-witted “stars” in rehab or those who had married quite a few times but had no actual appeal to the public anymore. She needed a kid that had grown up into something, not just your everyday Jane or John but someone who made a difference in the world. She idly prodded several folders before her until she found one for a Buffy Summers. She was quite the little cutie as a child but as Emily poked through the file all information seemed to stop when the girl turned 15. No photo shoots, movies, television shows…nothing. By all accounts the girl should have been a rising star but there was nothing, not even a current address.

Quickly dialing a number, she waited patiently for her secretary to pick up.

“Steve, call Buffy Summers’ agent, Luther Vlock and tell him to send me the current whereabouts of the girl. Tell him we want to do a special on her, Where are they now? Special.” As her quirky assistant made his squeaky promises, she hung up the phone and reclined back in her chair. Buffy Summers was going to make her a lot of money whether she wanted to be on the special or not. There were ways to get footage of the girl without her consent if need be.

Sunnydale…two days later

Buffy strode slowly to the front door of her home as she gently swung the greasy bag of hamburgers from the Doublemeat Palace. As a twig broke off in the distance she stopped short of the door and glanced in the direction of the oak tree in the yard.

“Oh, for Pete’s sakes, Spike?”

“Ah, it’s a fair cop, you caught me, Slayer. However, in all honesty, I think we have to say this one doesn’t count. After all, I wasn’t exactly hiding.” The bleached blonde vampire leered at her suggestively, making it a point not to breathe in the stench of fast food.

“No, Spike.”

“No, what kind of answer is that, you haven’t even heard the question yet.” He leaned in closer to her, trying to catch the smell of vanilla and something else that was uniquely Buffy.

“I don’t have to. We both know what you’re thinking.”

“And we both know…that I’m not the only one thinking it.” As his hand came up to tug at her jacket, her own swatted it away as she fought down the urge to give into him again.

“No! Not here.”
“Why not?” As she was about to say what the hell, a mental image of Dawn came into her head and she quickly categorized all the reasons why it was wrong, why Spike was wrong as renewed her courage.

“Dawn. She’s inside waiting for dinner, she’s counting on me. I’m not letting her down by letting you in.”

“So it’s the fear of being caught, then, is it?”

“Reason number one on a very long list.”

“Needn’t be an obstacle.”

“Spike, I mean it. Come on”

“I hear you’re serious. So am I. I want you…you want me…” He leaned in again to catch a whiff of her. “I can’t go inside, so…maybe the time is right…for you to come outside.” His lips caught hers as he maneuvered her to the old oak tree and pressed her against it, hands wandering and tugging at the clothes separating them from each other.

Neither noticed the black van across the street or the camera crew set up inside it.

Inside the van

“Are you getting this Marco?” Emily hovered over the young cameraman as he caught the movement of the young star and her boyfriend.

“Yes, ma’am. I do believe we’ve found Miss Buffy Summers. Seems a little odd though. With all of the money she made, wouldn’t you think she’d be living somewhere a bit more upscale and this place really gives me the heebie jeebies.”

“It’s called Sunnydale for Christ’s sake! How bad can it actually be? We just need to get the footage, get the girl’s consent and get an interview from her…this could be my big break…again.” She turned her gaze back on the couple that were soon to make this special NC-17 if not for some careful editing later when her cell phone chirped at her.

“Emily Rosemont…yes, I did get the address…no, Luther, I’m there right now…no, I haven’t spoken to her yet. She’s a little indisposed at the moment with her boyfriend…tomorrow it is Luther.” With a flick of the wrist the phone closed and she turned her attention back to Marco.

“Luther will be here in the morning to talk to Miss Summers about the consent forms and see about getting an interview with her. I want you to stay here and keep track of her every movement. I want this to be the best special we’ve ever done. It’s time I get my due in Hollywood and soon I won’t have to interview insipid, little brats with daddy’s money.”
The next morning, Emily Rosemont sat opposite the over-tanned, silver-haired agent as he pondered over the limited menu at the local diner.

“Luther. Luther!” She slammed her hand on the table to catch the attention of the calorie-counting man. “When are you going to see Ms. Summers?”

“Oh, um…this evening. I thought it best to spend some time with her before I ask her to do the special. My little Buffy, quite the little actress, you know. Wasn’t a role too big or small for her and she even managed to land a few commercials on the side as well. The camera just loved her. I was sad to see her go but that’s show business for you. You win some, you lose some. How long do you think it would take to work off a cheeseburger?” He flashed his overly-white teeth at the frowning brunette in front of him.

“Too long Luther, too long. Just make sure she signs the consent form and is willing to do the interview. Oh, and if you could get her friends to sign one as well…I’d like to get the perspective of others.” Without a goodbye, she stood and left the greasy diner and headed back to her waiting Mercedes.

Later that day

Luther Vlock stood outside the front door of 1630 Revello Drive as he waited for his little money-maker…former client to open the door. He quickly checked his reflection as the door opened to reveal a black-clad, bleached-blonde man instead.

“Who’re you?”

“Luther Vloke. I’m looking for Buffy Summers, is she in?” He extended his hand to the scowling Brit, who only scowled harder before turning and yelling for the girl in question.

“God Spike! Do you have to yell? Oh my God…Luther? What are you doing here?” She stopped short on the stairs as she came face to face with her old manager.

“It’s good to see you too Buffy. May I come in?”

Spike shifted closer to the wooden door as the walking self-tanning commercial walked through the door and caught Buffy in a tight embrace, which even for the slayer was too tight and made her gasp lightly for air.

“Luther, what are you doing here?” Buffy subtly extricated herself from his powerful grip around her torso and briefly wondered what her ex-manager had been eating or if he was some sort of demon she would have to kill. Feeling no tinglies alerting her to a demonic presence, besides Spike, she motioned for the taller man to take a seat on the couch while she sat opposite him and Spike slouched next to her.

“It’s been awhile Buffy and there is an actual reason I’m in this Godforsaken town. Have you heard of the ’Where Are They Now’ specials?” Luther took in the bleached blonde thug at his little moneymaker’s side and visibly cringed when he glared at him. That man was scarier than all of the Los Angeles area workout instructors put together.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of them Luther but what does that have to do with me? I’ve put that life behind me and worked hard to stay out of it for awhile now.” Buffy glanced wearily at the sleazy older man before swatting Spike’s hand off of her thigh where it had been creeping towards the edge of her shorts.

“Emily Rosemont wants to do a special on you. Hollywood’s little girl all grown up and I’ve got to say I agree that it would boost ratings. Until you turned fifteen, you were slated to have a great career before you but then you just dropped off the radar and moved to this little hell hole. People are going to know why Buffy…and I think it’s better that you tell them. Of course we’ll also want your boyfriend…”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” She glared first at Luther and then back at the pouting vampire. The urge to console him was almost greater than the urge to clearly define that he was not and would never be her boyfriend.

“Oh! You’re married then? Well, that just makes this so much better then. Hollywood’s little girl grown up, married and attacking the work force. I can just see the ratings now…they’ll be through the roof!” Not to mention the dollar signs when I get my cut Luther grinned, showing off his blindingly white smile.

“You mean you came all the way to Sunnydale to tell me that you want me to do an interview and have a bunch of cameramen follow me around for God knows how long, just so you can get some high ratings? I don’t think so Luther. I left that life a long time ago and have no wish to go back…” She leaned back further into the chair and shook her head at the thought of being someone’s amusement for an hour while she recanted her life story.

“$50,000 on the front and possibly new acting roles.” Luther quickly pulled on his ‘deal or no deal’ face as he focused on the woman before him making a fool out of herself with those cheesy fish-faces.

“Fifty thous…oh my God, that would pay off the bills and…where do I sign?”

“Whoa there pet. What in the bleedin’ hell are you two yappin’ bout? Buffy’s not a bleedin’ Hollywood anything…”

“You haven’t told him Buffy? I’m deeply shamed. Buffy Summers started her career at the tender age of three when she appeared in several diaper commercials and transition diapers. She then continued to land commercial after commercial until I took over her file. She then took several television sitcom roles as the adorable child and made a name for herself when she signed on for a long-term role on Swan’s Crossing at age thirteen. I still don’t understand why your husband wouldn’t know about that Buffy? Surely, it must have come up in conversation.” Luther shook his head as Spike stared at Buffy in awe.

“Y-you were that girl on that show that Dru wanted to turn. Real pretty with long brunette hair. Dru wanted to keep you as a pet and play dress-up with you. It was you!”

“Ok Spike, calm down. You cannot tell anyone that you know. I’ve spent too long trying to leave that life behind …Wait! Dru wanted to turn me? How sick is that?” Buffy let out a shiver of disgust before turning back to the oblivious Luther, who was mentally calculating his cut of the money. “And Spike is still not my husband…”

“’M her fiancé mate. Two years now but the chit just won’t pick a date to make this all final-like.” Spike leered at her as he slipped off the skull ring he had so lovingly placed on her ring finger while they were under Willow’s spell two years prior.

Mouthing the words ‘I hate you’ back to him, she accepted the ring and placed it back on her ring finger.

“Oh! I can see it now…we can make this a series! You two can plan your wedding during the special and then get married on a series finale! It’s perfect, I didn’t catch your name but it really doesn’t matter. Let me call Emily and work out the legalities but in the mean time, you two sign these and hand them to your friends to sign and then we can hash out the details.” Luther practically squealed with delight as he chucked a folder towards them and ran out of the house.

“Well, he was bloody weird. So it looks like we’re getting married on the telly, eh pet?”

“No, we really aren’t. I’m going to get through this interview and let them follow me around in well lit areas without the presence of vampires or demons or other creepy crawlies and you are going to stay in your crypt like a good little vampire.” Buffy shook her head as she quickly read over the standard agreement form and signed on the dotted line. Fifty thousand would make a significant dent in the debt she’d been acquiring lately and with the added bonus of having money left over for household supplies and…pizza.

“Buffy? Are you home?” Dawn’s voice echoed from the back door as she plunked her backpack down and thumped her way to the living room.

“Why is there a T.V. crew set up outside the house? Oh my God! Spike! You’re here, wait…why are you here?” Dawn bounced in place as she noted the closeness between her sister and her favorite vampire.

“Me ‘n big sis are getting hitched on the telly” He grinned as he wrapped an arm around Buffy’s waist, drawing her closer to him.

“You mean…Wow! You guys are finally going to start telling people you’re together! This is just so…wow!”

“We so aren’t together and Spike, if you want to live another day outside the Hoover, I would suggest you move your arm right now!” Buffy scowled as he tightened his grip and glared at her.

“But you guys have been like…you know…doing the…with the…and the…” Dawn’s hands made unrecognizable gestures but the intent was clear.

“How long have you known?”

“How long? How long what? How long have I known that the two of you have been boinking and doing the nasty? Two months…” Dawn stated with a grin before she was cut off by the surprised gasp of her older sister.

“How did you…oh God…how did you know we were…well, that we were…where did you learn to talk like that?”

“C’mon Slayer, you can say it. Settin’ the sheets on fire, boinking, screwing, fucking, making…”

“Do not finish that sentence if you want to live outside of the Hoover!” Buffy scowled at the grinning vampire, strategically hidden behind the brunette girl.

“Buffy, do you remember that morning that you came home and you were all ‘sore and limpy’? I knew then that you had something going on, I just didn’t know with who until you showed up with Spike when Willow went all druggie with the black eyes and everything. Don’t worry, no one else knows…well, except for Tara and Anya…and I might have told Janice that Spike was your boyfriend the last time she came over…she says congrats on finally getting laid and hopefully he knocks that stick out of your ass…I probably shouldn’t have repeated that, should I?” The blue-eyed brunette had the decency to look sheepish over the last statement but as it was the longer Buffy slept with Spike, the more amiable she seemed to be, at least for a couple of hours.

The blonde vampire shook his head discreetly at the girl before stepping in the line of fire of the glowering slayer. “Now pet, ‘m sorry but it would’ve looked worse if they found out I was a bleedin’ vampire ‘n you were the slayer…big secret getting out ‘n all…better to plan a fake wedding ‘n have it be null ‘n void later than explain to Mr. Melanoma that you ditched the Hollywood scene, which we will be talkin’ bout later, cause you were called as the soddin’ slayer. Gonna get my girl a proper ring too, not havin’ you show up on the telly with that piece ‘f junk.”

“So when are you going to tell Xander? Can I be there? He’s going to totally blow a gasket at this. EEP! You totally get to tell Ms. Kroger to stick it where the…tell her that you’re getting married so she’ll get off your back and I can stay here. When’s Spike moving in?” Buffy blinked as she tried to comprehend the words coming out of the tornado’s mouth.

Spike, move in, and tell Xander were not words she wanted to put together…ever! Although she’d never thought she would have to use the words Spike and marriage in the same sentence ever again, especially without the aid of Willow’s faulty spells.

“Yeah pet, when am I movin’ in? Don’t think the telly people would be too happy to know that I live in a crypt, though it would make for a smashing show.” Spike quirked his scarred eyebrow and titled his head to the side as he studied the petite blonde. The first order of business once he’d moved in was going to getting her fattened up a bit. He was over his fucking a skeleton phase with Dru and truth be told, he always liked his little slayer with a bit of extra padding, built up two of her assets quite well.

Dawn poked the staring vampire in the ribs before continuing, “I don’t get it. If Buffy doesn’t even want to tell people that you two are getting married, then why are you in the first place?”

“Buffy had a bit of a run-in with some bloke- kind of orange with bloody white teeth…bleedin’ irritating…”

“Luther was here? Oh my God, was it Luther?” Dawn bounced in place and the other two occupants of the room briefly wondered if she could bounce the house down if given enough time.

“Luther was here and wants me to do some T.V special thingy, Where are they now or something like that but Bleach-boy over here insinuated that we were engaged and now they want to do a whole wedding special on top of it.” She held her hands over her ears as the younger squealed.

“You’re going to do it right? Oh my God, you so have to do it! Spike, did you know Buffy was like totally famous before we moved here…and then she got all lame but did you see the episode with the two Cory’s? EEP! I‘m so happy for you two! You guys are going to be the cutest married couple ever!” She continued to squeal and bounce in place, even as a tall brunette man and wild-eyed redhead entered through the front door, unaware of the mess they’d just walked into.

“Did the Dawnster just say married, as in Buffy and Dead Boy Junior married?” Xander wore a serious look for a mere moment before he burst out laughing. “You did another spell, didn’t you Willow? Tell me you did another spell to make Captain Peroxide here think he has a chance with Buffy. Why aren’t you telling me you did a spell?” His laughter wore out into confusion as he took in the now-sitting vampire’s hand resting on the slayer’s leg…and she wasn’t dusting him on the spot.

“Xander…let me explain. It’s just…”

“No! Don’t even try to justify this thing! You’re letting that freak of nature touch you right now and Dawn just said that you two were… that you were, getting married. What the hell Buffy? Angel’s not around so you go fuck the first undead thing you can find. This is just sick. Call me when you get your head on straight.” Xander moved to exit out of the front door when he was hauled up against the wall by a cringing vampire.

As he shook of the minor electrical shocks the chip had shot into his skull, he noted that the boy actually looked scared for a minute. “Don’t ever talk to the girl that way, you measly piece of shit. You aren’t fit to lick the ground that she walks on and you think you have the right to call her sick. If you would give her a chance to explain you might find that she wants even less to do with me than you do. So sit down ‘n shut the bloody hell up so she can finish!” He dropped the hulking brunette to the floor before striding back over to where Buffy stood and gestured for her to take the floor.

“What I was saying before was that this isn’t really a…what I mean is…”

“Buffy used to be in movies, commercials and she even had her own T.V. show thingy and now they want to do a special on her but they think Spike is her fiancé and they want to do a wedding…I think that covers it.” Dawn gave her sister a smile before flopping into the seat next to the standing vampire.

“What ‘bout this one bit?” Spike held out the tiny shimmering object out in front of him as the lanky teen peered over his shoulder.

“Not big enough…or sparkly. What about that one?” Dawn pointed at a six-carat princess cut diamond further down the row, missing the jeweler’s grin as she motioned towards one of the more expensive pieces in the store.

“Bloody hell Dawn! Don’t ‘ave that much money for that bitty rock ‘sides wouldn’t the slayer like something she can wear on patrol?” He blinked at the entrancing rock the grinning salesman displayed proudly in front of him. It was pretty…and shiny. The slayer would love it but…Bugger it! He shook his head in disbelief as he saw the price tag attached to the rock and moved back to the smaller rings.

“B-but Buffy would want a big shiny one…she’s girly like that and…” The lanky brunette protested as the black clad vampire led her back to the more inexpensive engagement rings.

“This is it nibblet,” He pointed to a smaller ring, still keeping with the simple design but still elegant, and nodded his head towards the now-frowning salesman. “Tha’s it. What do you think?”

Dawn squinted at the smaller rock and carefully searched for the right words that wouldn’t set the vampire in a fury again. “Buffy’ll love it and as a plus there isn’t a skull on it.”

“Do you have the ring size, sir?” The salesman, Gregg, looked over the peroxide punk as he perused the various diamond rings and finally settled on a smaller half carat with surrounding emeralds.

“Nibblet, did you bring the ring?” Spike looked anxiously over towards the girl who was fumbling around her pockets for the tiny gold ring, which she finally found and slapped down in front of the frowning salesman. “Want that one, in that size ‘n if I could have it ready ‘n a couple of ‘ours that would be great.” He bounced lightly on his feet and smiled at an older couple that had just entered the small store in the mall.

“Yes, right sir, Mr…”

“Pratt, William Pratt.”

Back at the Summers residence

“You have got to be kidding me Buffy! You were on that show with the… and the…but the…and the hot, Buffy?” Xander’s face turned a bright pink as he comprehended the fact that he’d had a crush on his longtime friend before he had ever met her. Too many nights had been spent fantasizing on the then-brunette and really that did answer the question of why her hair kept changing shades of blonde every couple of weeks.

“So what was it like being famous?” Willow had taken Spike’s abandoned post, looking anxiously at the bewildered slayer.

“It was…it was normal, for me at least. Went to the set and then came home. Guys, it really wasn’t that big of a deal and please tell me this isn’t going to affect our friendship, I mean I told Riley…” She shrugged as she realized that her feelings for the over-grown soldier had dissipated since right around the time she had died, well more specifically when she had started having sex with Spike. Spike sex, Sex with Spike. Mmm orgasms by Spike… Bad Buffy! The slayer blinked as she tried to comprehend the redhead’s words.

“…but how could you tell Riley about it and not us…we were your friends first!” Willow pouted.

“What? You guys totally knew I was the slayer before Riley…it’s not like that was a big secret, actually I’m surprised everyone in Sunnydale doesn’t know by now.”

“But you were like…I can’t believe you were…You gave me my first boner!” Xander’s already red face turned a couple shades redder with his statement as he took in the bemused expressions of his friends.

“T.M.I Xander, T.M.I, way too much information for those that will now and forever be mentally scarred.”

“’Least you didn’t have to witness gropage of the undead…” Xander countered.

“Well I didn’t exactly know that at the time I was… that you were...doing that. This is one of those ‘we never talk about it again moments’, right?” Buffy’s statement was cut off by the sharp chime of the doorbell. Quickly peeking around the drawn window shades she came face to face with a sharp featured brunette woman dressed to the nine’s in the latest couture.

Leaning against the open door Buffy watched the woman with a leery expression as she surveyed the camera crews dotting her front lawn, including one setting up right under her…Spike’s tree.

“Rosemont, Emily Rosemont and you must by Buffy. It’s a pleasure to meet you, oh and this is Marcus.” Emily pushed her way past the slayer and into the home, diffusing any thought that she was a vampire, dragging the blubbering Marcus behind her.

“Uh, it’s nice to meet you too. Please, um, make yourselves at home. I guess I should…these are my friends Willow and Xander…” Buffy stammered out.

“Not important. Now where is this fiancé of yours that Luther was just raving about. Said he was quite the looker and had a to-die-for accent. I’m sure that will rate well with the viewers.” She settled herself down on the blonde’s chair before lounging against the worn fabric.

“Spike, um William that is, is picking up some things but he should be back, um, by nightfall?” Buffy turned towards her friends and quirked an eyebrow at them, hoping to catch their attention.

“Oh that’s right. William had to pick up some things cause his lease just ran out and um, he and Buffy are living together you know before the big white wedding but not in a church cause Sp-William hates churches…I mean he doesn’t hate churches it’s just that…help?” Willow sputtered her nonsensical reply.

“What Willow is trying to say is that neither of us are very religious so probably just a backyard wedding…at night. William’s not a big ‘day’ person, he’s, uh, allergic to sunlight. Major rash…like a lobster only with boils and pus and other nasty stuff.” Buffy groaned internally at her own attempt to burn through the ever-present silence and condescending gaze from Ms. Rosemont, this was worse than the social worker.

“Honey, I’m home.” Spike and Dawn stood just inside the kitchen door, the smoking blanket tossed aside as he strolled over to his ‘fiancé’ ignoring the slack-jawed gaze of their newest guests.

Emily leaned over towards her oblivious counterpart and whispered, “Luther was right the girls and guys would want to have at him and those that don’t want him will want our little star there. It’s a match made in Hollywood heaven.”

“Alright, today we will get the engagement scene out of the way… do you have a ring, William?” Emily glanced over at the nervous vampire who was standing behind the slayer and glaring intermittently between Xander and Marcus.

Spike blinked.

Emily’s glance turned into a full-blown glare as she waited for the bleached blonde pest to answer her question. As she stifled a groan, she made eye contact with the little moneymaker and darted her eyes back towards Spike, waiting for his response.

Buffy saw his deer in the headlights look and nudged him back to the present, “ Do you have a ring or are we using the skull? I really don’t the wicked bitch of Los Angeles will wait.”

“Uh…right then. I’ve, uh, got the ring right,” He dug into the pockets of his duster, scrambling to find the tiny velvet box.

“Other pocket Spike.” Dawn leaned over and grabbed the box out of the inside breast pocket and handed it to him.

“Right then. Got the ring here, all proper ‘n everything, thanks to the nibblet that is. Wouldn’t let ‘er sister make due with that rusted ol’ thing. Nope, my girl will be taken care of right proper. Won’t want for anything.” Spike continued to ramble until he yowled in pain as Buffy slammed her elbow subtly into his side, effectively shutting him up.

“Mhmm, Marcus tell them to set up in the corner so we can get the two of them in the center of the room, it’ll have to do.” The hard-faced brunette wrinkled her surgically- refined nose at the small living room.

“Uh, what exactly are we doing?” Buffy stepped forward, bringing Spike along for the ride as he had an arm slung around her waist.

“Oh, you two are going to recreate the proposal so we can get it on tape. It’ll air in the first episode after a short biography on you,” Emily nodded to Buffy before continuing, “and then will continue through with interviews with your friends and family. Don’t worry dear, just a short ‘we’re so happy for them’ will suffice.” She directed her last comment at the bewildered- looking Willow.

“Exactly how much of the proposal do you want us to reenact? Cause, uh, I don’t remember that much.” Buffy internally cringed. How could she forget every second that she was engaged to Spike? Every syllable that dropped from his lips when he asked her to marry him?


“Get a chair nibblet.” Spike stepped out from behind the blonde slayer and directed Dawn to leave the dining room chair in the middle of the room. “You sit there and I believe I was kneeling down here with the sodding ring.” As he listed off their actions, he kneeled in place looking up at his golden goddess and carefully surveying her blushing face. Girl’s got a thing for proposals it seems. Could’ve sworn she wasn’t blushin’ as much the first time. “Right then, I only want to do this once so camera on.”

“It’s just so…So Sudden! I don’t know what to say!” Buffy groaned as she recited the words she had said to the man kneeling before her only two short years prior.

“Just say yes, and make the happiest man on earth.”

“Oh, Spike! Of course it’s yes!” And as two years prior their mouths met in a bruising, passionate kiss that lasted until…

“CUT! What the hell was that?” Emily’s voice shook the room as she shook her head in disgust.

“That would’ve been how I bloody well proposed to my lady the first time,” His voice dropped to a low rumble, “Bloody cow.”

“Where’s the emotion? The romance? The poetry in your voice when you’re asking this beautiful woman to tie herself to you and bear your children…where the hell was all of that?”

“It was left in the sodding 17th century. I proposed, you got the bleeding thing on tape and that’s how it went the first time. Obvious it worked well enough then so sod off!” Spike’s anger was apparent as he tried to walk away, only to be held back by a soft but strong hand on his arm. Turning his head, he found himself looking down at the tiny woman, her green eyes holding the pain of the world in them. “Fine, you want poetry ‘n romance, I can do that.” Dipping his head, he gave Buffy a quick kiss before settling her back down in the chair.

Glancing to Marcus, Emily gave him a nod to start the next take.

“Ready, set, action…”

“Buffy Anne Summers, did you ever know that you’re my hero, and everything I wish I could be? I can fly higher than an eagle, ‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings. It might have appeared to go unnoticed , but I’ve got in all here in my heart.” He added a little tear for effect and prayed the ‘daft cow’ wouldn’t notice that he was quoting a song. “ I want you to know that I know the truth, of course I know it. I would be nothing without you. Did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything, everything I wish I could be. I could fly higher than an eagle, ‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings. Buffy, my love, you are the wind beneath my wings and I would be honored if you would accept this ring and someday become my wife. I’m asking you now, in front of all these people, for you to pledge your life to me and that telling you that I will pledge my life to you if you will accept this.” He finished in tears and slipped the diamond ring on finger at the tiniest nod of her head.

“That was beautiful, so beautiful. Look at those tears. That’s raw emotion. This is Emily Rosemont bringing to you the engagement of Ms. Elizabeth Anne Summers to William James Pratt.” Emily dabbed at her dry eyes before turning away from the camera and motioning to Marcus to turn it off.

“Oh please! That wasn’t a real proposal! He just recited the lyrics to Bette Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings!” Xander stepped out from his place leaning against the wall to point out the obvious.

“Bloody stupid whelp!”

“Well then, I knew I recognized that little speech from somewhere. We’ll just have to do it again.”

At the sound of Spike’s growl, Buffy laid her hand against his cheek and brought his flashing yellow eyes back to hers before anyone could notice the change. At the touch of her hand, he calmed and his eyes changed back to sparkling blue.

“Look, we already did this and if you aren’t happy with how he proposed the first time, well that’s just too bad because I thought it was beautiful and touching and came from the heart. Go with the first one. We’re done here.” Buffy turned her gaze back on the scowling brunette woman. “It wasn’t flowery or poetic but it worked for us. I’m not exactly the flowers and long walks on the beaches type and neither is Spike, it worked for us and I don’t want to show the public anything other than the real us.”

Emily grumbled for a moment before turning and walking out of the house with a bewildered Marcus trailing behind her.

“So which one do you think they’ll use?” Dawn asked with a sarcastic grin.

Buffy groaned as she walked back into the house that night. She had spent a good portion of her day filming her intro to the TV series and had answered more than enough questions about her past, present and future than the fifty thousand was worth. As she flopped onto the couch she noticed Spike watching her from the stairs and patted the seat cushion beside her in an invitation to the peroxide vampire. She stifled a chuckle as he ran his hands through his sleep-tousled locks and wiped furiously at his eyes as he attempted to wake completely before his part of the interview later that night.

“How did it go with the wicked bitch of the west?” His arm snuck around her shoulders as he took the offered seat. ‘m snugglin’ with the bloody slayer…wha’s worse is ‘m enjoyin’ it. He shook his head but tugged her closer until she was molded into his side. His free hand playing with the ring on her left hand.

“Fine, I think. I mean I didn’t say anything about slaying vampires in my free time or the fact that I’ve been, you know-ing, with one…”

“You’ve been you knowing with me? First time I’ve heard that one pet. Normally it’s screwing, fucking, horizontal bop…you knowing, that’s a new one.” He ducked the slap directed at his head as he chuckled at the bright pink flush that had spread over her cheeks.

“You know what I mean- we’ve been having…doing…” She drew in a sharp breath, “We’ve been making love.” She gave him a look that dared him to catch her phrasing and was almost disappointed when he didn’t say or do anything besides move his hand into her hair, stroking the long locks. “Anyway that’s not the point. I just told her that I’m a normal college student, well I will be again when I get my finances in order. Hopefully she’ll find me too boring to finish this whole charade. Are you ready for tonight?”

He nodded. His electric blue eyes bore into hers as he traced random shapes into her palm. “Think I know the story well enough by now. We met in high school, well you were in high school and I’d already graduated, ‘n then got engaged two years ago after you‘d graduated ‘n started your firs‘ year at university. You did tell them that you’re goin’ back, right?”

“Yeah, I told them that after mom died I took some time off to regroup…” Her next words were cut off by the cuddlesome vampire.

“So we’re planning on staying in Sunny hell ‘n raising a pack of brats. End of story. Well ‘m not sure how we‘ll be managing that one but…” Their eyes locked for a moment before a loud thud brought them back to the present as they spotted Dawn running full speed down the stairs.

“The dragon’s here with like a million cameras! I repeat the dragon has been spotted!” The brunette tornado didn’t spare them a second glance before she rushed off, yelling into a cell phone presumably to the Scooby’s on the other end. The thudding dulled before Buffy leapt to attention.

“Dragon?” He raised a scarred eyebrow as he watched the teen spitfire slide around the corner and dash off into the kitchen.

“Beats me. Maybe the interview lady?” Buffy peaked out the blinds and came face-to-face with a camera aimed at the window. “Damn it! Go get changed. I laid out some clothes on the bed for you.” She shoved him off the couch and directed him towards the stairs as she went to answer the door.

20 minutes later

Spike walked like a man on his way to the hangman’s noose as he trudged his way to the living room and the waiting camera crews. Without fail, standing next to Buffy was the dragon. Her brunette hair perfectly coiffed as usual and glinting eyes glaring down at his blue jean clad form. He fidgeted under her gaze, adjusting the black polo shirt Buffy had left for him.

He shifted nervously in front of the crowd of disinterested camera men before being ushered into a chair while Emily sat opposite him.

“We’ll start with the basics about you first. Where you’re from, how old and then move into how you met Buffy and what you know about her past and how you’ll support her career after you’re married.” Emily kept going on at a mile a minute but Spike couldn’t hear a thing and kept his eyes focused on Buffy standing in the doorway. Her soft smile of encouragement as the cameras began rolling.

“I’m here with Buffy Summers fiancé,” Emily paused and smiled brightly at the camera, “William Pratt, age 27 from Worchester, England. Would you care to tell us how you met Ms. Summers?”

“Uh right, me ’n Buffy go back…way back. We, uh, met in high school, well she was in high school and I was…not but she was a little spitfire, caught my eye dancing down at the Bronze.” Spike stuttered his way through, mentally cursing himself for it.

“The Bronze?” Emily raised a perfectly manicured brow in his direction, careful to keep smiling for the cameras that surrounded them.

“Local club. She was dancing with her mates ‘n I was enthralled from tha’ moment on. Never could get her out of my soddin’ mind after that. Every thought was consumed by the slayer…” Spike cringed as he noted the gleeful expression on the brunette and the frown on the petite blonde in the doorway.

“Slayer?” Emily practically glowed under the watchful eye of the cameras, noting Marcus had a perfect view of her ample chest.

“Uh…we were in a band together. Bird’s hell on the skins.” She was going to kill him, dust his worthless hide judging by the deadly glare coming from the petite slayer. Plain and simple, he was going to be dust before night’s end…might as well make the most of his last minutes.

“Real rocket that one. Never could quite decide if I wanted to shag or kill the bint but guess she grew on me. Now her mum…that was the one to look after. She could handle an ax, damn well she could. Cuffed me on the side of the bloody head when she caught me with the slayer. But back to the slayer…”

“CUT!” Marcus’ voice rang out from the sidelines as he motioned for Emily.

“What the hell was that Spike? I thought I told you to make us sound normal, not some circus freak show!” Buffy dragged him off into the kitchen where he was met with the entire Scooby gang.

“Told you the dragon was here…she’s a complete bitch, isn’t she?” Dawn grinned for a moment before being lightly whapped in the back of the head by her sister.

“Language Dawnie but seriously that woman is a complete bitch. The last thing we need is for this woman to get the great idea to make a show of a vampire, key and a vampire slayer living in the same house.”

Xander grinned, “Only thing worse than that would be a vampire, ghost and a werewolf.”

Several months later…

Beep!

You’ve reached the Summers’ residence. We’re not home or we’re screening calls, so leave a message and we might get back to you eventually.

Beep!

“Hey, Buffy, when was the last time you checked the answering machine?” Dawn called out from beside the answering machine as it happily chirped that they had thirty-seven new messages. Really, how hard was it for any of the other two residents to answer the phone on occasion.

From upstairs rustling could be heard as Buffy kicked a pair of black jeans across the room towards the resident vamps laundry pile. “Spike, how hard is it to take your clothes downstairs and wash them? Or, hey here’s an idea, put them in the dresser!” The blonde vampire didn’t bother replying from the shower even though she was sure he could hear her. Although more comfortable with her relationship with Spike, and openly dating, there was just no accounting for living with a man who had been living…un-living as a bachelor long before she was born. “I thought you or Spike had been checking it. Last time I did was sometime in May…or maybe last week.”

Dawn smirked and hit ‘skip’ once more as yet another talk show employee begged for Buffy to call them back and set up an interview. News had broken nearly a month prior that a certain child star was living in Sunnydale with her fiancé and younger sister and was considering breaking back into the business. Of course that last part was just hopeful wishes on Luther’s part as he counted dollar signs and trips to Bermuda.

Buffy, this is your Aunt Darlene. I just heard that you’re doing an interview and I decided it was time to visit my favorite niece. I’ll be there in two shakes of lambs tail, or rather on Tuesday afternoon. I just can’t wait to meet your new fiancé. I cannot believe you didn’t call me immediately with the news or your mother, may she rest in peace. Two years! Two years you’ve been engaged and I, your favorite auntie, didn’t know about it. Well, no bother. I’m sure we can catch up when I get there. My flight arrives at…BEEP!” Anything else she would have said was cut off by the beep of the answering machine signaling she had gone over time.

Dawn blanched, pointing wildly at the answering machine as Buffy rounded the corner.

Seeing her sister, she groaned. “Please tell me the Gentlemen aren’t back. Wait, I’m talking just fine.” She followed her sister’s pointing finger to the answering machine and hit ‘repeat’. With eyes widening as the message played, she collapsed into the nearest chair and covered her eyes. “Oh shit.”

“You can say that again.” Dawn recovered from her temporary loss of voice.

“Fine. Oh shit.” Buffy repeated wryly.

Both heads shot up as the doorbell rang.

“You get it.”

“No way. You’re the one she actually wants to see.” Dawn protested.

“Exactly. You should answer it so I have time to go hide. Come on, Dawn, it’s probably some local reporter wanting a statement since the first part of the special is airing tonight.”

Pounding on the stairs signaled the arrive of the vampire as he deftly pulled a shirt over his head and propped the door open. He had time to blink once before the older woman shoved her way inside.

“Oh, sweetheart, be a doll and toss my bags into my room.” Darlene Morgan regarded the black-clad, bleached blonde man with a curious gaze. “You must be William.”

Extending a hand, he nodded.

“Ooh, you’re hands are cold.” Darlene Summers was nothing but observant.

Reclaiming his hand and stuffing it into a front pocket, he mumbled. “Poor circulation.” Luckily he saved by the presence of his previously hiding fiancé.

Shooting a look, Buffy hugged her aunt and dragged her in from the early evening danger that accompanied living on the hell mouth. “Sorry about that, Will’s got bad circulation. Causes him to be cold to the touch. He’s, um, also allergic to the sun.” Casting him an apologetic glance, she shrugged and stuck to the story they had developed.

Darlene didn’t even blink, “Well, I certainly hope those aren’t traits that are passed onto your children. Really, Buffy, you should be careful about genetics nowadays. I’m certain you’ll have attractive children, just look at those blue eyes, but you’ve got to weed out those bad traits.”

“’s not a problem. Buffy ‘n I…we…” Spike stuttered, cursing himself for cowering in front of a woman that looked so much like Joyce with none of her personality.

Darlene stared pointedly at his crotch, “You aren’t impotent as well, are you?”

“Bloody hell, I’m not soddin’ impotent. Got no problems in that area!”

Buffy stepped forward and laid a hand over his arm, effectively calming him or at least restraining him from a murderous rage. “What William is trying to say is we haven’t decided if we want children or not right now. We’re both pretty young and we’ve got time to decide.” Motioning for Dawn to step around the corner she had been hiding behind, she shoved the unsuspecting woman into her sister’s arms. “Oh look, here’s Dawn and I’m sure she would love to catch you up on every tiny, miniscule detail that has gone on in her life. Why don’t you two catch up and William and I can get your room setup, unless you’re going to be staying in a hotel?” Buffy tried to keep the hopeful tone out of her voice.

“Good heavens no, my dear. Why would I stay in a hotel when I can spend time with my family? I thought your mother raised you better than to even ask that question. Good luck with that one, William. She’s always been a hard one. Like I was telling Joyce…”

Darlene never got to finish her sentence before Dawn dragged her into the kitchen while Spike and Buffy made their escape upstairs.

“It’s just for a week…maximum, I hope.” Buffy laid a hand on Spike’s chest in an effort to calm him. “It won’t be that bad and maybe we can convince her to go to a hotel after all.”

“She called me bloody impotent! The bint was in our home for two soddin’ seconds ‘n she called me impotent!” Spike bounced lightly.

A shout from downstairs caught their attention, “Buffy! I hope you and your mister aren’t having premarital relations up there! What would your mother say?”

“One week or I risk one helluva headache killin’ the bloody bint.”