Chapter 1

It was late. “Way too late,” Buffy muttered to herself as she finally pulled warm sheets around her body. Settling herself deep within her bed, she turned her head to glare at the clock. 4:00 a.m.

Buffy let an exasperated sigh slip from her lips. Looking back now she didn’t know why she thought things would change because they really hadn’t, not really. She was still under pressure, working constantly, up into the wee hours of the morning, making plans and fighting evil, so why had she expected a change when the Sunnydale Hellmouth crumbled before her eyes?

Maybe because she had lost so much in the process…maybe because the battle with The First seemed like the end to end all…maybe because her town had been torn to shreds leaving nothing but rumble…She wasn’t too sure but this was definitely not what she had expected.

Everything had happened so fast. There were places to go and people to see and everyone was scrambling to get things in order. They had had a little down time of course, a few weeks of peace and relaxation, but there were things to do, things that couldn’t wait.

Slayers had to be gathered, taught and trained. There were thousands of them scattered across the globe and they had to have a system set and in place to get them all dealt with. It was a long grueling process, full of paper work and long nights but they did it.

Giles had set up a home base in Ireland, heading the whole operation in secret. Apparently Giles was a lot more connected than any of them knew.

Willow and Kennedy had another one set up in Brazil. They also dealt with the magic contacts, and recruiting covens to help locate slayers.

Xander was set up in New Zealand with Vi and a couple other more experienced Slayers. He had grown up considerably and really taken charge at his position. Buffy was proud of him.

Faith and Robin had staked a claim at the Cleveland Hellmouth, which according to Faith was definitely lacking in the action compared to Sunnydale.

That left Buffy; She and Dawn had a nice place in Rome. The ‘council’ Giles had set up was somehow bringing in a large amount of revenue; enough so that Buffy didn’t have to sling burgers of the Rome variety and Dawn could go to a prestigious prep school. Andrew lived across the hall, acting as a sort of quasi- watcher to the Rome base. He’d changed a lot too.

And that there seemed to be the thing that was driving Buffy crazy as of late; everyone was changing before her eyes yet she stayed the same. Her life, although it had switched locations, was the just as it had been before. Fighting evil, never stopping, always working. There was always a struggle for her, and yes she had always dealt with that. She was dealing with it now, it was just that now… Now she was alone. Figuratively she had always been isolated from those around her, but being literally separated was something different entirely. Her friends were spread across the world. Dawn was caught up in her life, like every teenage girl should be and she was just left with nothing to hold on to.

Night after night she would stare up at her ceiling wishing she had someone to hold on to, to ground her, to make the troubles of each day seem like nothing when she was in his arms. She would silently plead with The Powers That Be each night, for someone. She would tell herself anyone would do; that just to meet some nice Roman man would be fine and dandy, but her lies could only last so long.

It had been months, six to be exact, and secretly she was still grieving; crying tears for him and whispering to him even when she knew he couldn’t hear. But there was always doubt, so she whispered anyway. Buffy would whisper her love for him, her sorrow for him, and plead for him to come back to her. She would tell him that she should have stayed with him in his final moments, or ripped the amulet off his chest, grabbed his hand and ran. There were so many options she could see now looking back, and she had taken the easy one.

She had left him to dust. She had left him with her words of devotion that he didn’t believe, and she had spilt. Now she was the one left. Buffy was left with her regret and her secret grief that no one knew she held in her heart.

Buffy’s head swung from the ceiling to the clock again. 5:00 a.m. “Pull it together, Buffy,” she spat scolding herself and wiping the remains of tears off her face. She knew she had to move on and push forward because as much as she wanted it, he wasn’t coming back.

With a weary but determined sigh, Buffy snuggled herself back into her bed this time dead set on the result of sleep, but when her eyes closed, just like every night before, his face was there. Either with a passion-filled devoted look, or with a smirk and a gleam of lust in his blue eyes; it didn’t matter. It was him. The one thing she would never have.

---

He was being a bloody idiot that he was sure of. He could sit for hours thinking about ways he could swoop in, all heroic-like and steal her away. Bust through the doorway, back from the grave, or rumble to be correct, and tell her…well he wasn’t exactly sure what he’d say, something romantic he’d imagine. Then everything would right again. He wouldn’t be up every night, drunk off his ass, because he didn’t have the courage to buy a plane ticket, or even pick up the bloody phone. He just felt like it would be demeaned some how, like his sacrifice, going out in a blaze of glory, wouldn’t hold much weight if he came back six months later.

But it wasn’t about his ‘champion’ reputation. He could give a piss about that. It was the way she saw him. It was the tears barely in her eyes and the words that left her lips that kept him from running to her.

Now it seemed selfish, not wanting her to think any less of him. He just felt like after years of being beat down and told he was a monster, he wanted her to have a memory of him, one that wasn’t tainted with violence or disgust or even lust for that matter. He wanted something pure for her to remember him by, and he wouldn’t ruin that now, just because he couldn’t stand to live without her.

So that was why he was sitting on a shaky barstool in a rundown part of L.A. slinging back shots and wallowing in his own sorrows. He just didn’t have the courage.

Usually, when there wasn’t some big crisis over at Hell Incorporated, he would be at his place doing nothing but watching the telly and tossing empty bottle after empty bottle of beer into the trash, but yesterday Andrew had shown up at the offices. The girl who had just broken out of the crazy bin that they had thought to be possessed, was none other than a rogue slayer he had been sent to collect.

Andrew was shocked to see his fallen comrade up walking and talking like Spike hadn’t crumbled to dust six months before. And although he would never admit it, Spike was happily surprised to see Andrew as well. Annoying as the little bugger could be, it didn’t change the fact he had been part of the team, part of her team.

And in that laid the reason Spike was piss poor drunk in some shabby bar in the bad part of town. Along with Andrew had come the memories. It wasn’t as if he was trying to force them from his skull, just that they had been repressed because if he thought on it too long he would surely be across the pond within the day, and that just wasn’t an option.

Andrew had of course asked about Buffy. Should he the one to deliver the news? Did she already know? They definitely would have had a conference call if she did, that Andrew was sure of. Spike told him she didn’t and that she wasn’t going to, and although Andrew was clearly upset with the response, the matter was dropped.

The slayer had been brought in eventually, after a not so little run in with Spike. Being kidnapped, drugged and having his hands cut from his body was definitely not his idea of a party. However he had been rescued, his digits iced and reattached and now he was flexing his newly sewn on joints tossing back shots. As the alcohol worked through his system, and memories of times with Buffy weaved through his skull, the thought of seeing her again, holding her…it didn’t seem all that wrong anymore.

He knew he was drunk and he knew he shouldn’t do what he was about to do, but the thought of just hearing her voice again made every inch of him hum. It could have been the whiskey. It probably was the whiskey, but right then he just couldn’t seem to care.

Chapter 2

“Hmm…this is nice,” Buffy whispered with a drowsy smile plastered across her face. Her eyes were shut softly; her body fully relaxed. Water surrounded her. It was the purest blue she had ever seen and she was encompassed in it, floating slowly through each wave without a care.

“You’re right, love. Could stay here, just like this forever,” Spike said in return with a warm grin.

“Yeah, forever sounds good.” Buffy turned on her side and wrapped her arms around his chest settling her head into the crook of his neck. His arms snaked around her in turn, as they drifted farther out to sea.

She wanted desperately to open her eyes, to look and see his gorgeous features smiling down at her with the devotion she knew they held, but something in the back of her mind was whispering to her not to. “He’ll be gone. Don’t do it. He’ll disappear,” so she listened and kept her eyes closed.

His hand glided slowly over her cheek in a gentle caress. He saw her eyes struggling to stay tightly shut and a confused look crossed his face. “Buffy, pet, open your eyes. Look at me…” His words faded away into the light breeze.

She wanted to look at him, so badly she wanted to stare and examine every inch of him with care because he was that precious to her. She wanted to commit every centimeter to memory and never let him go. So despite the urgent voices, she carefully opened her eyes. A look of pure awe and love shown on both their faces. The moment was there and she took it, bringing his face closer to hers and meeting his lips with a smile.

The mood shifted as their passion deepened, falling farther and farther into each other’s eyes.

Closing them once more, Buffy moved to finally kiss him, but the moment their lips touched she met nothing but air. Her eyes flew open to stare at nothing but a dark murky sea surrounding her. He was gone and she was alone.

The ocean around her got rougher and choppy as she tried to swim back, but to where she wasn’t sure. She called out his name, but heard nothing but a faint ringing sound. Buffy clawed desperately at the waves, still shouting his name as water flooded into her mouth and down her throat. He had left and she was drowning without him. The last thing she saw were the bubbles surfacing from her mouth as she sunk deeper and deeper into the sea.

*******************

One would think when people dream of themselves dying they would wake up scared, confused or any number of not so pleasant emotions, but Buffy was used to this. It was just another death scene in a long line of dreams where she didn’t make it, or was about to…not make it that is. Lately these dreams had involved him. It seemed her grief had only gotten worse.

Her heart ached, but just like everything else, there wasn’t time for it. And as if on cue the phone rang, startling Buffy. Glaring at the clock for the third time, she sighed. 7:00 A.M. ‘Two hours of sleep…I’ve run on less.” She thought longingly as she moved to answer the phone.


Spike stumbled on unsteady legs off of the barstool and moved past a large crowd of people making their way inside.

“Hey, watch ‘rself…mate.” Spike grunted out drunkenly with a slight slur to each word as he bumped into a sizeable biker looking fellow with a long gray beard. “My you’re an ugly one aren’t ya,” He was much larger than Spike by at least a foot; his face was scarred and his top lip seemed to be sewn up at the sides revealing a set of razor sharp teeth.

A snarl was instantly produced out of the demon’s mouth. “So…not of the human variety I take it…” Spike said with a slightly surprised yet drunken look. The demon looked as if he was about to attack but then changed his mind as he gave Spike a once over.

Sniffing the air around Spike, “Vampire...you’re not worth it,” the demon spat with disgust rolling off each word.

A sober Spike would have pushed the issue, feeling the need to prove his ‘worth’ with a good kicking of his ass, but in his drunken state Spike had other plans and let it pass. “Yeah that’s right, walk away…couldn’t take me if you tried anyways…bloody poofter,” Spike said mumbling incoherent curses all the way to the pay phone right outside the bar.

He was here. This was it. Spike was going to make the call he’d been obsessing over for the last 6 month. As he reached for the phone, he noticed his hand was trembling. “ Come on, Spike ‘ol boy,” Spike said trying to pep himself up, “It’s just Buffy…” The last words came out in a whisper, and even as he said them he knew they were a lie.

It was never just Buffy. She was always more than what she appeared to be and that was why he loved her. He bloody loved her so much it was killing him now. Every time he’d close his eyes there she’d be wearing that final look of love on her face, a gift to a dying man, he figured, but that wasn’t important now. Spike missed her so much, missed her smell, her touch, her taste, her laugh, her smile, hell…he even missed her punching him in the nose. Anything would do, as long as he could be close to her again.

And that wasn’t necessarily true either. He loved her, and wanted her to love him back, but he wasn’t stupid. He didn’t expect a girl like her to carry a torch for him, but being one to never give up Spike set forth with newly fueled courage and grabbed the phone.

He remembered her number like the back his hand from months and months of dialing it only to second guess himself and slam the receiver down angrily. Spike had gotten it from Angel as soon as he had become corporeal again although not one call had ever gone through. He was tempted a few times to phone her and not say a word, only to hear her voice, but on a second thought he decided a creepy caller in the middle night to the Slayer could be easily tracked considering the resources she probably had on her side and that he didn’t want.

Pulling himself out of his own reflection, he grasped tighter on the black receiver and placed it to his ear. With a deep sigh filled with doubt, he began to dial her number.


Buffy hesitated staring at the ringing phone. Who would be calling her? Just three hours ago she had been on a conference call with basically everyone except for Andrew, who, she just realized, would be back anytime now wacko slayer in toe, so maybe it was him. Giving up on her over use of thought, she reached for the phone and placed it softly to her ear.

“Hello.” The words came out hoarse from sleep, and also slightly annoyed from being woken up at all.


As much as he tried to calm himself, Spike’s hands continued to shake. The number was dialed, yet nothing happened. Completely perplexed, he glared at the phone. Then it hit him, ‘insert coin here’; the words jumped in his mind. “Bloody hell,” He must have been completely plastered if he had remembered it was called a payphone, but didn’t remember he had to pay.

Slipping a few coins into the machine, he began dial the number again. If his heart could have beaten, it would have burst right out of his chest. He couldn’t take the waiting and he hadn’t even finished the number yet.

Chapter 3

The other end of the phone was silent. It seemed almost as if Buffy could hear her voice echo on the other end…wherever that was.
“Ok, listen, whoever this is…you woke me up with only two hours of sleep, and not to say I don’t appreciate your call, but you’re kinda getting on my nerves with the no talking thing.” Buffy paused from her rant and waited patiently. ‘Wrong number maybe…’ her mind mused clearly annoyed.

Suddenly there was a long drawn out sigh from the other end. It startled Buffy from her thoughts and again she asked, “Hello…”

This time a frustrated squeak sounded into her ear, as if someone was trying to talk but couldn’t get the words out. “Okay, last chance then I’m hanging up. I know someone’s there…”

There was muffled talking in the background, loud music, and the slightly familiar sound of mumbled British curse words. “Bloody hell.” The voice rang clear in Buffy’s mind, but it couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. He was dead and she’d spent too many months convincing herself of that fact for it to be him.

Her mind was racing. Smells, sounds, memories… all from him came flooding back from all recesses of her mind. “Spike…?” It was faint barely a whisper, and frankly it was all she could handle as confused tears welled up in her eyes. But the silence remained, confusing Buffy further.

There was another sound of struggled speech, and then nothing. No background talking, no loud music. Everything was gone. “Hello…” Her words echoed once more filled with an almost desperate hopelessness.

Tears began to flow more heavily down her cheeks. She just didn’t get it. ‘Am I going crazy? I could have sworn…no, I know it was him.’ Some part of her just couldn’t let go of the idea.

She couldn’t have imagined her phone ringing, her answering, and him…could she? Now she was starting to second-guess herself. Looking back, her day had been pretty rough with barely any sleep on top of that, so maybe it-

Her thoughts were cut short by a sharp knock on the door. Buffy’s head snapped to stare at the entrance to her bedroom, where outside she heard the sound of footsteps. Dawn, she guessed, was already awake and was answering the urgent knocking.

“Hey, you’re back. What’s…” Buffy heard Dawn’s voice flutter with confusion. “Andrew, is something wrong? I thought everything went fine with the collection…unless Buffy lied to me again. I thought we got over the whole protect Dawn from life thing.”

Buffy groaned at her sister’s words and threw the blankets covering her body to the side. She could almost picture Dawn with her arms crossed angrily ready to glare daggers at her. Slinging her legs over the edge of the bed, and checking the mirror to make sure no signs of tears were present she made her way out into the apartment to see what all the noise was about.

Stepping out into the open area Buffy saw Dawn and Andrew cowering together as if sharing secrets. “What did I miss?” Buffy said trying to force a smile as she sat down on the couch across from them. Apparently whatever news Andrew had to spill he had already mentioned to Dawn due to the spooked and stricken expression on her face.

“What is it?” Her posture straightened, as she looked closer at Andrew. She knew that everything had gone fine with the new L.A. slayer, but was there something she didn’t know. “Andrew come on…secrets make enemies not friends…or something like that,” Buffy stated furrowing her brow.

“Buffy…” Dawn’s voice wavered unsteadily, as if she wasn’t sure how to approach the situation. “It’s Spike.” Dawn uttered the words slowly allowing each syllable to sink in.

Buffy’s world stopped for the second time in one night. It was Spike. She knew it now. It was him; he was alive. He had tried to contact her, but…what the hell did he think he was doing, hanging up on her like that? No. There was no time to be mad at him that could come later. He was alive. That was all she needed to know. He was alive and she had to get to him.


Spike slammed the receiver hard against the rest of the pay phone causing the phone to crack in half and dent into the rusted metal.

How could he have been so stupid? As soon as he had heard her voice, sobriety had eased its way back into his system and he was a bumbling mess. His drunken confidence had flown out the bloody window, and all that was left was the inept, barely audible ramblings of his inner William.

Spike really didn’t know what had come over him. Her ‘hello’ reverberated throughout his whole body sending him into a state of utter shock, and he just couldn’t move, or couldn’t speak for that matter.

A slow aggravated sigh fell from his lips as he ran both of his hands through his heavily gelled, beached locks. Suddenly, he was aware of his surroundings again as the night air and loud music came flooding back.

Throwing his backward, a low primal grow escaped him. “Bloody women.” He had always been loves bitch, letting anyone with a swing in their hips and a glint in their eyes tug him along until they had used him up and threw him back. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Why did everything involving her have to be so confusing? Everything used to so easy. Want. Take. Have. Buffy was so new, like uncharted territory to him, even though he had mapped every inch. But that was her body, not her. He’d never been close to her, and at this rate he never would.

Giving up on his drunken escapades, he stalked back to his apartment. It was three or four in the morning he guessed, not like he wore a watch. He was tired, and was sobering up giving him one hell of a headache, so as soon as he reached the inside of his place he flung himself into bed.

It had been a rough couple of days, full of barely any sleep. With tonight’s events under his belt, sleep was something he was in great need of.

“Hello…earth to Buffy.” Dawn waved her hand slowly in front of Buffy’s face.

Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike’s alive. Buffy couldn’t stop the track playing through her mind. She had to find him. Where? How? She had so many questions. “Where?” She finally found voice to one of them.

Both Buffy and Dawn looked to Andrew for the answer. “Well…when I was on my vital mission to L.A. to retrieve Dana, the tortured slayer, which by the way…”

“Get to the point, Andrew. Where is he?” Buffy stared Andrew down, trying desperately to keep her resolve face intact and not let the tears she was holding spill down her cheeks.

“He’s with Angel.” Andrews voice was barely audible due to his receiving icy glares from both Summers women.

“In L.A.?” Dawn practically shouted into Andrew’s ear. “Why didn’t he say anything? Doesn’t he know where we are? Doesn’t he want to…” Dawn’s persistent questions faded off at the loud slam of the door to Buffy’s bedroom.

Three minutes late Buffy emerged fully dressed, a purse slung over her left shoulder and her keys in her right hand. She didn’t say a word just walked purposefully towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Dawn knew it was a stupid question. She knew exactly where Buffy was going, but she couldn’t just let her sister walk out without verbalizing her destination.

“To get him.” The words were soft and filled with hope as they broke away from Buffy’s mouth. The two Summers girls exchanged a knowing glance and a small smile before Buffy continued out the door.

“Oh, and, Buffy, good luck. Give him a good punch in the nose for me.”

Buffy just smiled at Dawn’s words. “Will do,” and with that she was out the door.

Three hours later, Buffy had booked and was currently on a flight to L.A. courtesy of the council’s account. It would take ten hours to get there and it would be the longest ten hours of her life. She was already running through scenarios in head; ones where they would run to each other with open arms all cheesy and romantic-like. Of course she’d have to find him first, but that wouldn’t be too hard. All she had to do was find Angel, force him to tell her and she was home free.

She also had her doubts though. What if the reason he didn’t tell her was because he didn’t love her anymore? She had given him plenty of reasons throughout the years to be angry with her, and maybe after he came back from wherever he was he had gotten over her…moved on. Thinking about it made her heart clench, so she didn’t. Buffy pushed the doubt from her mind. Spike loved her. He had always loved her and she had to believe that it hadn’t changed, and as much as she’d never wanted or accepted his love before she wanted it now. She had to hope that was good enough.


“What does the Great Poof want now?” Spike stated staring down at the cheap piece of plastic phone Angel had given him in case of emergencies. He hadn’t made it a habit of carrying the thing around with him, that being just another way he could piss the wanker off.

But now since he was actually home and the phone was for emergencies only he decided to give it an answer. “What’s the trouble, Peaches?” Spike said with a smirk swinging his legs to the edge of the bed and running a hand through his sleep-tossed locks.

“I’ve sent a car to come get you. We’ve got some…” There was a pause on the other end of the line, as if he couldn’t decide on the right word for the situation. “…issues that only you can deal with.” Spike could hear the irritation in Angel’s voice.

“Mind telling me what kinda issues you got there, mate?” Spike asked with a skeptical lift of his scarred eyebrow as he held the phone to his ear with his shoulder and pulled a black tee over his head.

With a frustrated huff Angel replied again, “Just get your ass over here. You’re the one sh…” He stopped mid-word making Spike even more curious as to what exactly was going on. Another very audible sigh escaped Angel’s lips.

“Fine, fine. I’m coming. Be there in a jiffy, boss,” Spike said with sarcasm oozing off each word. With that he shut the cellular, grabbed his coat and looked out the window, making sure to stay as far away from the sunlight as possible.

It was only early afternoon with the sun still lighting up the sky and he could see the car parked a few feet away from his door. Spike would have to make a run for it, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t made dashes huddled under his precious coat before. So with a deep sigh and cock of his head he reached for the knob, quickly running to the open door of the backseat of the sleek black limo.

“So mate, you got any idea what this ‘issue’ is then?” Spike questioned the driver, pulling his coat down from the top of his head and closing the door.

“No sir, Mr. Spike. I just go where they tell me.”

“Right then, guess I’m on my own.” Whatever this issue was, he as happy to be a part of it if it put Angel in such a foul mood. Plus, he was always up for a little violence especially if whatever little nasty was running about had Angel so spooked.

Slowly but surely Spike’s head began to work through the possibilities. It couldn’t have anything to do with last night; could it? The thing was Spike didn’t remember much of last night. He had been completely drunk and hadn’t become 100 percent sober until he’d woken up around noon. With these thoughts Spike’s curiosity only worsened, but he wouldn’t have to wait that much longer. He would be pulling up to good ‘ol Wolfram and Hart in 3…2…1…

Buffy marched with a purpose through the elevator doors and stepped onto Angel’s floor of Wolfram & Hart. She was a woman on a mission, and nothing was stopping her now. A few had tried in the lobby, but that didn’t end to well for them.

As she strolled quickly past suit –covered bodies, she heard a familiar voice call out to her. “Buffy?” It was Harmony. She was perched behind a modern, dark oak finished desk clad in a bright pink pantsuit with the top edge of a white camisole peeking out from underneath.

“Harmony…you work here?” Slightly caught off guard, Buffy felt the girl’s arms wrap around her in an awkward embrace.

“Yeah, I know. Who would have guessed me for the legal type…”

“Not me,” Buffy muttered under her breath.

“…but with being the undead and all I guess it just kinda fit.” Her face immediately took on a grave expression. “You’re not gonna stake me are you? ‘Cause I’m completely off the human blood, all animal blood, all the time. I promise!” Harmony gestured wildly and put a few more inches between Buffy and herself.

“It’s ok, Harmony. I’m not going to stake you. Can you just tell me where Angel is? It’s important.” Arms crossed, Buffy eyed the large, double, wooden doors.

“One sec, he’s in there just let me…” Harmony reached across her desk to grab her phone, but when she turned back to Buffy, the doors to Angel’s office were already swinging open.

**

“Buffy…” His voice sounded depleted. It surprised her; he looked different somehow, more tired maybe, which for an immortal undead was saying something. His eyes held a certain hope; for what she couldn’t really say because she wasn’t here for him. “What are you doing here? You got your slayer. I didn’t think I’d see any of your crew again, especially not you. I thought I wasn’t trusted.” Angel’s demeanor instantly took a turn.

“I’m not here to bother you, Angel, and I’m not here to yell at you for becoming leader of evil incarnate…”

“We’re changing it from the inside!” Angel’s tone picked up suddenly as he cut her off.

“Angel! I’m not here for that. God…” This was definitely not what she had bargained for. Arguing with Angel was something she could really care less about at the moment, especially this moment.

Buffy held her hand to her head trying to find some sort of focus. This conversation was not going how she had imagined it. She began to pace back in forth in front of Angel’s desk.

He got up, pushing his chair back, and walked over to stand in front of her. “What is this about, Buffy?” He leaned backward on the edge of his desk and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Where is he?” Angel withdrew his hand. It was amazing how three words could cause such an immediate change in him. It was kind of impressive on Buffy’s part, the ability to change behavior with a single phrase.

“Who?” He rapidly avoided eye contact and moved back to sit behind his desk. Angel suddenly found the papers scattered about much more interesting.

“You know who, Angel. Spike, where is he? I know he’s alive…or undead… or whatever he is, but he’s here.” Buffy threw her hands in the air. She could barely remember the last time she had to deal with this jealous vampire crap; never realizing how much she actually missed it.

“He’s not here! Probably at his place…I don’t know where that is. I don’t keep tabs on him ya know.” Angel practically spat his words at her. Apparently she had worn out her welcome…if she ever had one.

Buffy gave him a pleading glance before looking away. “Angel, please. Can’t you just get him here?” Their eyes locked. Something exchanged between them, and after years of thinking that their star-crossed relationship would find someway to work itself out, they stopped. Neither one acknowledged the change. That wasn’t important; what was, was seeing Angel reach for his phone.

“Harmony, get Frank. Tell him to get a car ready…for Spike.” His name sounded like a disease coming from Angel, but Buffy barely noticed. Spike, Spike would be here. It was the best thing she’d heard in six months. She couldn’t help but smile.


Spike searched the faces that surrounded him for some sign of danger, or at least something recognizable as to why he, specifically, was needed.

“Uh oh, you’re in trouble,” Harmony said in a sing-song voice.

“ ‘Oi, don’t tell me Angel brought me in here to scold me, just ‘cause he’s CEO of Hell and I’m the one out on the streets doing his job,” Spike finished with a huff. “Not my fault the ponce chose to be king of this thirty floor castle instead following his destiny and all that rot.” Spike settled his hands, palms down, on the top of Harmony’s desk. “So boss in his office, yeah?” Harmony only nodded and placed a phone to her ear. Spike gestured back and moved towards the doors.


Buffy’s head whipped around to stare at the closed, double doors. His voice. He was shouting something out in the lobby. She couldn’t tell what; she didn’t care what. It was his voice.

“So Peaches, what’s this ‘issue’ then?” He pushed his way in, strutting through without a care, duster blowing behind him. Then he just stopped. Everything stopped. His eyes zeroed in on her, magnetized to where she stood. Then she was moving; walking towards him with a force to her stride. Spike was speechless for once in his existence, not to mention he felt like he was paralyzed. She however seemed to know what she was doing.

Her fist contacted with his face. ‘God, I missed this.’ Both of them thought, as he stumbled back gripping his nose.

“Bloody hell.” His back hit the door as he struggled to regain balance. Although that plan didn’t really work since as soon as he stood her fist hit him again.

“That one was from Dawn.” Her words were filled with a fire she’d forgotten she’d possessed. He brought it out in her, a passion she’d lost after his death. Being with him now was electric. Buffy could feel the sparks flying from her fingertips as she grasped the lapels of his coat and through him against the wood door, satisfied with the slight crack that sounded from his impact.

“Buffy…?” He wasn’t really questioning her presence. Spike knew it was her. Her scent engulfed him like a homecoming he had denied himself for so long. It was euphoria. He didn’t care about the blood slowly trickling from his nose or the bruises he’d surely sport in the coming hours because she was here, and she was touching him. Her hands had a death grip on his duster and he was too shocked to speak.

Apparently so was she, for her lips were closed in a tight line. Her confidence had waned as soon as the ferocity between them had ceased. They just stared at one another, eyes locked, fists clenched. Both of them were breathing deeply, even though one didn’t need to. He was the first to speak.

“Bit a déjà vu, yea?” A slow, shy smile crept up on his face. He wasn’t sure what else to say, but he figured making light in such a serious situation would bring a grin to her features. He figured right.

“Huh?” Eyebrows drawn together, she was completely confused by his words. Déjà vu? Then she took a look at their positioning. She with fists clamped together around his jacket and him pressed roughly against a wooden surface, both staring at each other intently. Memories of almost two years ago now flooded her mind. Scenes from a night in a dilapidated building that they had ultimately destroyed came to the front. In another time she would have been disgusted by his reference, but it seemed so long ago now, and his intentions seemed only to give a much needed lightening to the mood, so she released him and laughed.

“Oh, that…” She smiled, but kept her eyes glued to the floor, cheeks reddening a bit from the memory.

She could feel his eyes boring into her, but she refused to meet them. A new girly giddiness had taken over her and she found herself at a loss. However, someone else stepped in.

“I don’t want to interrupt,” Angel interjected in an obliviously sarcastic tone.

‘Saved by the Angel,’ Buffy mused to herself, turning her head in Angel’s direction. Spike’s head whipped around as well. Both glared expectantly at him.

Angel just glowered back. “Could you take this somewhere not in my office?” Pen in hand, he repeatedly glanced back down at his papers as if their company was disturbing him from his work.

Both Buffy and Spike seemed to snap back into reality at his words. Taking them in, Buffy began to wring her hands nervously. “I don’t really have anywhere to go…” Her voice trailed off unsure of either man’s reaction.

Spike barely noticed that she had spoken. He was still studying her, still shocked that she was standing right in front of him. As his eyes made their way up her form he realized she was staring at him as if waiting for a response. His brain quickly caught up. “Right…um…my flat. We can go there…to chat is all,” Spike finished quickly not wanting to assume anything. After all her greeting to him had been a punch in the nose.

“Right, ‘cause there’s a lot to explain, with the you crumbling to dust in pillar of light six months ago,” Buffy stated causally as if the subject was discussed daily.

“Yeah…that…” Spike winced slightly at the memory, but quickly shook it off and reached a hand out to her. Even though he was almost positive she’d take it, a small part of him was positive she wouldn’t, positive that she’d shove it back at him and laugh in his face. It wasn’t as if his kindness hadn’t been denied before, but he had to believe now was different for no other reason than that she was here.

Her hand slipped lightly into his. “Lead the way.”

A smirk played on Spike’s lips as he tugged her towards the doors. She’d missed that smirk. She’d never really seen him truly happy she thought, thinking back, but when she had placed her hand in his he seemed close.

“And how do you plan on getting there?” Angel shouted to their already disappearing bodies.

“Company car, o’ course, mate,” Spike replied peeking his head back through the doorway, grin shining on his face. The huff of a defeated sigh was all Spike heard in return as he shut the double doors and turned back to Buffy.
“You know we have a lot to talk about?” Her face had suddenly become serious, he noticed as she glared up at him.

Stepping into the elevator next to her but avoiding eye contact, he replied. “I know,” with that the sliding doors shut and locked in front of them.

Chapter 6

The journey over had been relatively silent. Sparse conversation about Spike’s choice of car and sun resistant windows dotted their dialogue, but nothing substantial was spoken about…not yet. They both seemed to be waiting for the bell to ring or someone to shout ‘Go!’ There was just so much to discuss that neither of them knew exactly where to start.

“So, this is your home?” Buffy flashed a smile at Spike as he held the door open for her.

“For lack of a better word, I suppose.” He smirked, surveying the place along with her, even though he’d seen it a million times.

“How?” Buffy’s back was turned away from him as her eyes raked over his apartment. She hadn’t really meant for him to hear her. ‘Damn, that vampire hearing,’ Buffy cursed to herself.

“What’s that, love?” Spike was slightly taken back by her question, or lack of question really. Buffy whirled around to face him, finding him only a foot or two behind her.

“I didn’t… I…I just can’t believe how you’re here,” Her speech was jumbled as she spat it out. There was a struggle laced under her words as if she was trying to hold back tears.

“It’s not that bad of a place. Compared to your basement, pet, its quite posh…” He was trying to make light of things again. Buffy wouldn’t have it.

“I thought…God, I don’t know what I thought. What the hell were you doing…here?” Her arms gestured towards him accusingly, her mind racing. She was here. They were alone and the shock had worn off. Now all that was left were emotions and she couldn’t help but let them spill out, no matter how messy it got.

‘So we’re going to do this…’ Spike thought. He’d figured as much. It was unavoidable, so with a sigh he dove in headfirst. “ I didn’t know what I could say, what I could do. I didn’t expect to come back, Buffy. I just was and then… I assumed strolling through the door shouting ‘Honey I’m home,’ wouldn’t exactly figure.”

Buffy closed her eyes for a second to picture him strutting through her doorway yelling exactly that. Maybe it would have been a shock. Maybe it would have been hard, but she knew it would have been better, would have saved her from all that grief. “It would have. I would have made it…figure,” Buffy stammered out, unsure of her word choice.

“Yeah ‘cause your track records so spotless,” he said with a sulk and turned his face from her in the wake of his blatant honesty.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her arms crossed now, she glared at him, a bit of nostalgia creeping its way into her system.

With a sigh filled with increasing anger he responded, “ Oh come on, Buffy. You bloody well know.”

“Maybe you should enlighten me.”

“Fine. You need a lesson in our history; I might as well be the one to give it to you,” Spike practically yelled at her. ‘Woman was bloody infuriating,’ he grumbled inwardly, ‘course that was why he loved her, so he bared his soul. She stood her ground, waiting impatiently for his ‘lesson.’

“Everything we had, Buffy, or didn’t have for that matter, everything we’ve done, it was never about being good or right. It was never something you could be…proud of. Always hiding and sneaking about, and I’d take it ‘cause it was all I could get. And when I came back I wanted to see you so bad, to hold you so much it hurt, ‘course I was a little less than solid then, so I did a lot of thinking. You deserved something pure; some last fleeting memory of me that wasn’t-… I wanted you to remember me just like that, blazing hell-fire and all, ‘cause it was for you. It’s always been about you, Buffy, my whole sodding existence. I wasn’t going to come rushing back to living color and ruin it no matter how much I love you” Spike finished with shaking, unneeded breaths taking a few steps away from her. Buffy’s eyes were closed, head faced downward. Spike didn’t see her tears. He wouldn’t have been nearly as disappointed if he had.

‘I love you.’ The words echoed in Buffy’s head. Love…not loved. There was no past tense present. Something in Buffy snapped, and even though she had known before that she returned his feelings, now she could find the courage to say it.

“No…” Spike’s ears perked up at the sound of her voice so unsettled and tense. “No,” Buffy repeated, stronger this time, eyes focused on his. “You dying, Spike, isn’t good, isn’t right, isn’t pure.” Spike was a little surprised. He hadn’t thought his little speech would cause such a zealous reaction, but she had his attention now, eyes zeroing in on her as she found the words she needed.

“You’ve made with the big speeches, twice now, and I never say anything. I’d just sit there and let you comfort me ‘cause I was so messed up I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have the strength, but I’ve done some thinking too, Spike, and it’s my turn.” She wore a more hopeful look on her face now, showing complete openness. He had no idea what to make of it except to deny it.

“You don’t have to, Buffy.” Looking off to the side, he seemed to be brushing her off. ‘He was brushing her off, well that was new,’ Buffy mused. She had to stay strong, convince him that this wasn’t a game, that she was ready. For once she knew what to say.

“I love you.” Three words, so simple, were the last things he expected to hear. Bitchy, biting Buffy he could deal with. Even self-restrained, commander Buffy was tolerable, but this was...."Bloody unbelievable." His whisper was barely audible, but she heard and threw him a fleeting smile. Buffy was unsure of her next move, but looking in his eyes urging her for more, she took a few steps closer to him and continued.

“I love you. I loved you then, and I spent six months trying to forget it. I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes there you’d be and it was never good or right without you. I was so sure I was going to be alone forever because you’ve basically ruined me for anyone else.” They both smiled at that; although his expression still craved more. “I didn’t realize how much I loved you until you were gone. Talk about a cliché, but it’s the truth.” She looked down, embarrassed by his intent stare.

“Absence does make the heart grow fonder, love.” He was smirking now, so she knew she had said something right. He lifted his hand and placed it under her chin, bringing her hazel eyes to meet his blue ones. Before he had a chance to speak, Buffy continued on finding more confidence in his gaze.

“I dreamt about you every night. You were always there, but I could never touch you, always just far enough away that you were lost to me. Then you just weren’t…swaggered your way back into my life-“

“Pretty sure it was the other way around way around, pet.” His hand that was nestled under her chin found it’s way to her cheek rubbing his thumb lightly across it wiping away the remains of tears.

“Either way, you’re here. I can hear you, see you, smell you, touch you…” She emphasized her words with a caress of his cheek. It molded perfectly into her palm. Their bodies’ were only centimeters apart now. “There is one thing though…” His eyes were closed, arms wrapped around her in a loving embrace.

“Mhm?” He questioned resting his head against hers, inhaling a scent that was purely Buffy. When she didn’t answer, Spike opened his eyes to gaze down at her. “What is it Buffy? Whatever you need…”

The color of her cheeks went up a few notches as she spoke. “Well, see, smell, touch, hear; those are all covered.” He just watched her as her confidence wavered suddenly.

“That they are.” Spike cradled Buffy in his arms, waiting. It was the pout that got him. Rolling his eyes he finished her thought with a smirk. “Only one thing left to try…” He brought her closer to him with a slight tug, eyes fixated on her lips.

“Yup…taste.” The last sense left her lips in a quick hiss before he captured them with his own. And although they still had a lot to talk about, where they stood, issues of trust and just plain logistics of them, it didn’t matter, not at this moment. They both had been deprived for too long to waste it.

Chapter 7

A sweet solace washed over Buffy at the feel of his cool skin pressed against her back. For the first time in a long time she felt peaceful. There was nothing she wanted that she didn’t already have. Letting that sweep over her, it seemed almost selfish to be so content, but hey, the so-called Powers That Be owed her a little something, and this was more than enough.

She heard Spike groan and felt him shift slightly behind her. It was a tight fit on his less than average sized bed, not that it bothered Buffy. It forced Spike to pull her tightly to his chest with barely any space between them. No complaints there.

Sensing Spike loosen his grip on her sides, Buffy began to sit up and swing her legs to the side of the bed. She pulled the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around herself leaving Spike completely exposed and sprawled out on the tiny bed. Buffy giggled noticing the small bit of drool escaping his mouth, and was suddenly glad she got up when she did.

As her eyes raked over his body more intently, she began to notice other things. For one, he was perfect. Every inch of him was shaped and striking. His hair had wormed its way out of its usual slicked back look to an untamed mass of small curls on his head. His face seemed so innocent even though a conscious Spike was far from it. He was a mix of dark and light, innocent and feral, a complete contradiction, and Buffy wouldn’t have it any other way.

“See something you like, pet?” The sound of his voice brought Buffy out of her reverie drawling her attention to his eyes. He was completely aware of his nudity; however, modestly was never one of his strong suits.

Spike laid back arms folded behind his head acting as a pseudo pillow. His eyes scanned her form wrapped in his crisp white sheet. God, he never thought he’d be here…that she’d be here. The last six months had been hell without her, and now here she was all flushed and glowing. It was a bloody miracle.

“Spike?” Buffy questioned him as she moved to sit at the foot of the bed.

“Yeah, love?” He was clearly disinterested in her speech as his eyes were still intently studying her. She just sighed and rolled her eyes at him. ‘Stupid, horny vampire,’ Buffy thought with a grin.

“Hello. Earth to Spike…” She leaned in closer to him as she spoke, placing a hand on either side of his form.

“Hmm…I’m here,” He uttered a little shakily. “You never answered my question,” Spike quickly surmised now completely out of his Buffy-induced haze.

“Well I would have if someone hadn’t fallen asleep on me…” Buffy said matter-of-factly as she plopped down onto her heels, which just happened to be on either side of Spike’s thighs.

He let out a small hiss in response to her movement, which only garnered a smirk from Buffy. “Wasn’t sleeping, kitten, just watching you…making sure you’re really here,” he finished dreamily.

“I know what you mean, but I’m here. This is really real Buffy.” She smiled and curled into his embrace finally settling her head against his bare chest and letting the sheet fall over both their bodies once more.

They sat in a comfortable silence both just enjoying being close. “We never really had this. Did we?” He glanced down at her for a second before responding.

“No, I guess we didn’t. We never really did anything like a normal couple, but then again-“

“We’re not exactly normal…” Buffy finished for him looking towards his eyes, which were faced towards the ceiling.

“Yeah, something like that.” His chest rose in an almost bitter laugh.

“Well that’s gonna’ change.” Buffy sat up a bit in Spike’s arms so she could effectively look into his eyes.

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. “Don’t think you and I will ever be normal, pet.”

“True…but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is we’re gonna’ do this right. We got a second chance, Spike, and I, for one, am not going to waste it.” Buffy finished her declaration in a huff looking at him expectantly.

Spike was in awe. This was a side of Buffy he rarely experienced, the side that fought for her man. He gave her a loving smile and pulled her closer to him. “Let’s not waste anymore time then.” He kissed her passionately, one hand placed lightly on her check and the other slowly makings its way down her side. Her arms in turn wrapped around his neck, her body falling into his embrace.

He broke from her to let her breathe and placed his forehead against hers. “I love you, Buffy.” His speech was low and husky and did nothing to cool Buffy down.

Pulling herself together, Buffy met his eyes. “I love you, Spike.”

At that, Spike couldn’t holdback any longer and pushed himself inside of her raining kisses up and down her neckline. He adjusted them so he was leaning into her from above. Her arms and legs immediately wrapped around him, as they both feel into ecstasy.

Buffy was lost in everything he was. He was everything she felt, everything she tasted or heard. She couldn’t escape him and didn’t want to. She noticed he was lingering at her neck, sensuously caressing her pulse point with his tongue then nipping lightly down her neckline to her shoulder. It was a pattern he continued to follow. Buffy considered this for a moment, and then she had an idea.

“You can…you know…” She spoke softly in between heavy gasps for air.

“What’s that, love?” He looked up at her questioningly but continued his slow movements inside of her.

“Bite me.” The words were so quite and breathy Spike barely heard them, advantages of vampire hearing he guessed. He glared up at her in response, movement ceasing.

“Bite you. Are you crazy…I could…I could hurt you.”

Buffy raised a hand to his face trying to sooth him. “I trust you.” The words took a moment to sink in. Her trust was the one thing he thought he’d never have. Even if he had her love, trust was a whole different package. “Besides,” she continued more playfully, “I can tell you want to the way you’re practically licking a hole right through my neck.” She smiled at him intertwining her fingers behind his head pulling him back towards her.

With an unsteady sigh, Spike resumed his thrusts and bent his head to her neck. He quickly found the spot where both Angel and Dracula had tasted her and decided to make it his. Lapping richly at the area, he changed into game face.

Buffy heard the slow crunch of his face changing and braced herself for the pain, but was surprised when none came. She felt him leisurely penetrate her neck with his fangs and at the first pull of her blood she felt nothing but bliss. Her eyelids fell closed and colors swirled before her eyes. It seemed cliché but she saw the fireworks…the stars.

‘Talking will just have to wait a little longer…’ Buffy thought as she drifted further into unconscious pleasure.

The setting was familiar to Buffy. The careful, calming blue of the ocean surrounding her, the complete confidence in being so isolated from civilization that she couldn’t help but feel untouchable, and the belief that she was home and safe and loved all encompassed this place. It was a place she only visited in her dreams, but only because a place like this couldn’t really exist. It was that perfect.

Of course, a place, such as this, was meant to be shared, so he was always with her. Sometimes Spike would be holding her; other times they’d be separated by a foot or two, fingers intertwined, but it wasn’t how he made his presence known. It was just his presence. He’d always worn his emotions on his sleeve, and here she was free to truly experience his love. There was no duty, no disapproving friends, and here he hadn’t been burnt to a crisp during the last apocalypse.

Lately, though, these three conditions had lost their weight. She wasn’t the only Slayer, so her duty reduced. Her friends were scattered about the globe and Spike was no longer adding to the dirt at the bottom of the Sunnydale crater. So was her little dream world worth the effort to dream up?

Definitely…hence the smile splashed across Buffy’s face as she clung tightly to Spike’s side drifting bit by bit out to sea. Even though this was the usual scenery for Buffy’s fantasies, this time was different…things more concrete, not that she was complaining.

“You with me ‘ere, love?” Spike’s hand gently caressed her cheek as he gazed expectantly down at her.

“Hmm…here. How could I be any where else?” She smiled lightly running her fingertips down his chest.

“I could think of a few places.” Buffy’s eyes widened as Spike’s hips thrust forward slightly. She glared wildly at him, but he just smirked back at her curling his tongue behind his teeth. Buffy rolled her eyes, a playful grin pulling at the edges of her mouth.

“You, mister, have one dirty mind.” She sat up slightly from the safety of the water to lean on top of his chest.

“Well, considering this is your dream, pet, I…” His words trailed off as her face bent into a confused expression. “What’s wrong?”

She pulled back a little studying the sky. “Don’t you hear that?”

“’Ere what?”

Buffy angled her head towards the sky. There was a low buzzing… or beeping. She couldn’t really decide what to call it, but it was there disturbing her happy place.

“What is it, love?” Spike pressed again reaching out to lay a comforting touch to Buffy’s shoulder.

A long, drawn out sigh passed through Buffy’s lips. “Nothing, just I knew it was coming.”

“And the “it” would be…” Spike questioned one eyebrow raised skeptically.

“The end…” His eyes grew wider at that as if expecting more of an explanation. “Of my happy place I mean…this,” Buffy clarified. “I’m about to wake up.”

As soon as the words left her lips Buffy’s eyelids began to flutter open. That was when she noticed the insistent buzzing/beeping from her dream had yet to cease. Following the noise, she twisted her neck around, past a very naked and slumbering vampire, to the bedside table where her phone sat. It almost vibrated off the table before Buffy reached across Spike to grab it careful not to wake him.

“Hello?” Buffy whispered wrapping a sheet around herself as she sat up in the bed.

“Is he there? Did you find him? Is he coming back with you?” The questions came sputtering out of the receiver so fast Buffy barely had a chance to grasp their meaning.

“Dawn?”

“Yes! It’s me. Now tell me what the hell is going on over there?” A bright smiled coasted across Buffy’s face as the memories of the night before came back to her.

Throwing a glance back toward a sleeping Spike, she replied, “Yes, I’m here. Yes, I found him, and…”

Buffy was suddenly dumbfounded. She had come with a plan, and although she couldn’t remember most of it, she knew it included a talk; a long complicated and grueling talk about the future of Spike and Buffy: the serious relationship. But that specific talk was some how skipped, traded in for the much more fun and less grueling Buffy/Spike lovemaking. The level at which they had missed each other was too high. They were both needy and in love that they just couldn’t help it.

Now it was the morning after, and Dawn was presenting some very interesting questions. ‘Should have stuck with the plan,’ Buffy mused.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to come back with her, but could she really ask him to just pick up and leave?

A quick scan of his apartment told her he didn’t have much. A few shirts in his closet, his prized duster slung haphazardly over a coffee table, and two Xbox controls that looked like they’d been thrown against the wall one too many times were all she noticed. She was sure he probably had more hidden away somewhere, but then again she didn’t really know. As much as she loved him, he could’ve had millions and an island stashed away and she wouldn’t have had any idea. The thought saddened her. It was something she suddenly decided she needed to change.

“Buffy?”

“Huh?”

“What’s going on? Is he coming?”

“I…” Buffy was quickly pulled from her musings as she felt Spike’s legs shift toward her. “He’s waking up, Dawn. I have to go,” Buffy spat in a slightly panicked pitch.

“Waking up! You…you…” Dawn’s voice started to fade and slow as she put the pieces together. With a more calmed tone she began again, “Ok, have fun.” Dawn’s sing-song voice played in Buffy’s head as she rolled her eyes and hung up the cell.

“From the abundance of girlish screams, I’m guessing that was Dawn?” Spike said hazily running a hand through his ruffled hair.

“You heard that?”

“Vampire, love. Enhanced hearing does come with the package.” He sat up slowly with the small of his back lightly pressed against the headboard that had taken a beating throughout last night. He leered at her suggestively as it creaked beneath his weight.

She answered with the same seductive smile. “Right, how could I forget?” Then Buffy reached a hand to the bite marks he’d left on her neck, caressing them lightly. The gesture sent shivers down her spine. Her skin was suddenly too tight as she struggled to stay perched up on her knees facing him.

Spike’s mouth formed into a slow grin, but his eyes told a different story.

“What is it?” She questioned hesitantly situating herself into his side. He quickly wrapped his arm around her grasping her tight.

“Its nothing.” The sharp angle of his cheekbones cast a slight shadow across his face as he turned away from her. He clearly did not want to meet her eyes.

“Spike, come on. I don’t regret this,” she stated sweetly gesturing towards the two small punctures on her neck. “I love you, and I asked you to do it, god, practically begged you to; not to mention the mind-numbing pleasure it caused…” Buffy’s words faded off as a deep blush crept up her skin settling on her now rose-colored cheeks.

“That right?” He was smirking again. ‘Must have said something right…’ Buffy mused. She just nodded her head shyly and curled back into his side. “Well, in that case…” Before Buffy knew exactly what was happening, Spike had flipped them so that he was looming overtop of her raining soft kisses down her neck and collarbone.

Her hands quickly found their way to his head. Her fingers itching at his scalp and twisting in between his bleached curls. It amazed Buffy how quickly she could reach such a state. Wave after wave of euphoria washed over her and she was completely helpless to it, to him.

She had had a plan…of course she had said that last night too, but especially this morning after talking to Dawn. They had to talk about what they were going to do, where they were going to go. She had had a plan, and then he had to go and get all sensitive with his blue eyes and uncertainty. She couldn’t not comfort him, reassure him, so now they were here, wrapped in each others embrace, skin against skin. They were just kissing; holding on to each other because when they were together there was nothing else. It sounded cheesy, cliché even, but everything faded away and all she could feel was his touch and his lips.

But there was time for unimaginable levels of passion later, if all went as planned, and she did have a plan. They needed to talk.

“Spike?” Her eyelids managed to pry themselves apart long enough for her to glance down at him. He seemed deeply concentrated on following a path from the spot just behind her ear all the way down to the space between her breasts.

“Spike!” It was supposed to sound irritated, but came out a little less angry and a little more breathless. Buffy clutched desperately to his form as he bit down with blunt teeth on her bite marks. “…Spike…we need to talk…” The words barely escaped being jumbled by her lust-addled brain.

“Hmm?” His head peeked up from its perch at her chest to stare questioningly at her.

“We need to talk,” she said with a little more conviction this time.

He pulled himself from her arms and settled down next to her situating the sheets so they were firmly tugged around him and a pout set on his face.

“Spike-,” she began, only to be suddenly interrupted.

“Buffy, I don’t have anything here except for what you see in this room, and as much as I enjoy being second in command to jolly ‘ol Angel and his band of merry followers, I’d rather be with you. I was never meant to be here. Whatever happened to me with that damned bloody amulet was my end.” She winced at his words, but stayed silent allowing him to continue. “Before that I was with you, every thought I had was about you, even after I was back I barely thought of anything else. I’ll follow you wherever you want to go, even if it’s not back to Rome just yet. We can do whatever you want, Buffy, ‘cause I’m yours. I always have been.”

He looked straight ahead the whole time he spoke. He couldn’t bear to look anywhere else especially not at her. Even after everything they’d been through in the last day and half, part of him would always been a hopelessly shy romantic. It must have been his inner William, he supposed.

“Spike?” Buffy waited for him to look at her before she spoke. “I know our past and I know that you love me, and you’d do whatever…but I want to do what you want. Because I’m yours Spike. I love you, and I’ll go wherever you want. I don’t want to take anything away from you or push you into anything. Let me follow you for a change.”

He looked so surprised that it scared her. Buffy knew this was uncharted territory for them, but his face was so shocked. “Wow. Color me surprised, I never thought I’d see the day William the Bloody was speechless.” He grinned at that making Buffy’s heart soar.

“We can stay here if you want; if you feel like you’re needed…” He grunted humorously at that.

“No, definitely not. If things get bad here I’d like to come and help though because besides Captain Forehead, the others are a bit of all right. Believe it or not, I’ve made some friends here, so if it gets apocalyptic…”

“…You wanna’ help,” she finished for him. “I get that.” She gave him an encouraging smile. “But if we’re not staying here, where exactly do you suppose we go?” As she spoke she crawled closer towards him weaving her way back into his embrace.

He gave her a devilish smile and spoke. “Well, I guess first stop will be in Rome. You are gonna’ need clothes and stuff.” They way the word ‘stuff’ rolled off his tongue made her shiver, and she was about to ask exactly what he meant, but he had already continued on. “Plus by the sounds of that conversation you had with Dawn, I’m guessing the Bit would kill us both if she didn’t get to see me before we left.”

She smiled at that. “You got that right. And by the way where is this mystery destination?”

“Let me take care of that, pet. Since you’re all enthusiastic about letting me have my bloody way, let me surprise you. Yeah?” He pulled her body closer to his side as he spoke and finished with a chaste kiss to her forehead.

She took a second to think about the irony of letting a vampire surprise a slayer, but only for a second because before she knew it she was kissing him feverishly and whispering into his ear, “Of course, William.”

That apparently was exactly what he wanted to hear because he began returning her kisses with double the fervor.

“When exactly will we be taking off?” Buffy said in between passionate kisses and breathy pants. “Tomorrow?” she tried again.

“Of course not! That’s way too soon. End of the week, love; I’ve barely had time to ravish you properly.” With that he threw her underneath his body holding her desperately close and murmured, “Now, since we’re done with all this talking…where were we?” He gaze was completely focused on her chest.

Lifting a fingertip to the top of her neck, Buffy drew a twisting path down to her breasts. “Right about here…” she spoke softly as his lips followed the trail she’d made.

“I love you, Buffy.”

“I love you, Spike”

And just like that they both slipped back into bliss. Their future was still a mystery because truthfully Spike had no idea exactly where he was going to take her, but now that wasn’t important. They had each other. They had their second chance.