Time Line: Mid-May, 1998, Buffy is a Junior in High School, the school year is nearly over.

**~**

Buffy woke with a dull moan. A pounding in her head threatened to explode out of her eyes, keeping her from opening them, as she tried to remember what had happened and determine where she was. She was preparing to head to Angel’s, no, Angelus’, mansion to stop him from activating the portal of Acathla – she remembered meeting with Spike and that he was going to help her stop Angelus. Had Spike double crossed her and done this? She simply couldn’t remember.

Buffy tried to listen, to figure out where she was, but she couldn’t hear anything. She tried to move her hands, but they were locked in shackles. She realized that she was hanging from them, the pain in her shoulders suddenly starting to overpower the pounding in her head. Attempting to move her feet, she found they were also shackled together and definitely not touching the floor. Steeling herself, she slowly opened her eyes to try to see where she was. She looked down and found she was dangling at least three feet off the floor. Fear rippled through her as she realized she was at Angelus’ mansion, hanging like a side of beef from the shackles on her wrists. She tried to break them, but realized immediately that Angelus wouldn’t be so stupid as to use anything that she would be able to break.

She stopped struggling and looked around the large room. No one seemed to be here. The stone demon Acathla stood at one end of the room, sword still in place . . . Sword! She needed the sword that Kendra had brought to stop Angelus! That’s where she was coming from when she was attacked – she had retrieved the sword from the high school then gone to Giles’ apartment to find out from Whistler how to use it to close the portal. She still didn’t know what happened after that. Surely, though, whoever brought her here had also brought the sword. If she could just get free and find it!

Suddenly she heard footsteps coming and closed her eyes, lolling her head back to one side to feign unconsciousness; perhaps she could catch them unawares and still escape in time to stop Angelus. The footsteps stopped a few feet in front of her, her vamp senses tingling down her back. She knew immediately that it was Angelus standing there without ever looking.

“No need to pretend, Buff, I can hear your heart racing. I know you’re awake.”

She opened her eyes and glared at him with as much dignity as she could muster. “What the hell do you think you’re doing Angelus? Let me down from here!”

He laughed - Angel hardly ever laughed, but Angelus - he had a laugh that cut through her. “After all I went through to get you and your pretty sword here, lover, I don’t think so. I got you a front row seat, after all.” He glanced back at Acathla, waving Kendra’s sword at the stone demon. “It won’t be long now. Just a couple of loose ends to clean up first.”

“SPIKE!” Angelus yelled at the top of his undead lungs, sending knives of pain through her head to the back of her eyes and forcing her to close them again.

Buffy opened her eyes again when she heard the wheelchair make its way into the room as the platinum blond vampire appeared. He stopped as soon as he saw her hanging there, eyes darting back and forth between the dark vampire and the slayer. “You know, Angel, in order to say you’ve slain a slayer, you actually have to kill them, not just hang them up like a pretty picture on the bloody wall,” he drawled slowly, attempting to find out exactly what Angel had in mind.

“Well, Willie since you're the Slayer of Slayers and all, I thought I would save the honors for you. Seeing as you’ve gone behind my back to conspire with one, you deserve one more notch on your belt before I dust you.” Angelus moved before Spike could react, grabbing him by the lapels of his duster and tossing him like a rag doll against the wall next to where Buffy hung. Spike hit with a crack and slid down hard onto the stone floor with a thud.

“Bloody Hell, Angel! All you had to do was fucking say so! I don’t have any problem draining another bloody slayer.” Spike struggled back to his feet, facing Angelus. “They’ll be no dusting of my pretty ass, though. Just let Dru and me go on our merry way; I’ll do the deed and we’ll bugger out of here right quick like.”

“Not quite what I had in mind, Willie, in fact, just the opposite. Since you’re so friendly like with the Slayer, I thought we’d start with her draining you.”

The two blonds stared at Angelus, brows knit, trying to catch his meaning as he walked within swords reach of Buffy and started slicing the buttons off her top. As her top fell open, another quick flick of his wrist cut the front of her bra. With her hands shackled above her, there was no way for her to cover herself and her breasts lay exposed to the vampires.

“No, no, no . . . Angel . . . No, you don’t want to do this, Angel, please!” She couldn’t help but plead with him, hoping somehow she could reach Angel buried deep within Angelus.

Angelus grinned. “Sorry, Buff, Angel’s not home right now, but if you’ll leave a message, I’ll be sure he gets it.”

Spike tried to intervene. “Seems to me you said she wasn’t worth another go, Angel . . . if you don’t want her, what makes you think I would? You know the only one I want is Dru.” Spike pulled his duster closed in front of him and stood up as straight as possible, to give himself a little more size as he addressed his grand-sire.

“What makes me think you want her, Willie, is that hard-on you're hiding with your coat. Plus, you must know Dru’s with me now. She knows all about your little arrangement with the Slayer. You’re not the only one that can decipher Dru’s ramblings, you know. I made her, after all.”

“DRU!” Another shout from Angelus had Buffy’s head starting to throb again. “Bring the Watcher and let him watch.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as Drusilla dragged her Watcher into the room. “Giles!” she called as Drusilla dropped the tortured watcher on the floor near Angelus’ feet.

Angelus knelt down to the Watcher, pulling him to a sitting position, facing Buffy. “Rise and shine, Rupes! Time to watch your slayer die a slow and painful death.”

Giles struggled to clear the cobwebs from his brain and opened his eyes. “Buffy . . . ” it was barely a whisper.

Buffy was livid. “Giles! What have you done to him Angelus?! God damn your soul, when I get free from here I’m going to make you wish you’d never HEARD OF ME!” She thrashed against the shackles that bound her, but they held firm.

“Damn my SOUL!? MY SOUL? You already damned my soul, little girl – I do owe you that. Which is why I’m gonna let Our Sweet William here fuck you to death and drain you instead of me. He’s always been the sensitive one, after all.” Angelus was enjoying this more than he’d even hoped . . . getting back at Rupert, Buffy and Spike all at once was one of the best plans he’d had in decades!

Behind Angelus, Dru giggled insanely. "Yes, please!" she said, clapping her hands together in anticipation of what was to come.

Spike decided that perhaps the best thing to do was to go along with Angelus’ plan, at least until he could get the opportunity to grab Dru and escape. “Not to be all obvious, Angel, but how do you suggest I shag her with her strung up there like a side o’ beef? I’m not the bloody Jolly Green Giant, you know. And unless you know something I don’t about Slayer anatomy, it’s gonna be a bugger to get those lovely legs spread with shackles on her ankles.” Spike raked his eyes down Buffy’s body for effect and looked back at Angelus, running his tongue along his teeth hungrily and allowing his duster to fall open to reveal his ever increasing erection.

“Fine, take her down, but you’re not starting with her quim, William, you’re starting with her nasty little mouth. She likes to use it so much, I think you should show her what it’s really good for.”

Spike raised an eyebrow to Angelus, but said nothing. Moving over to where Buffy hung, he wrapped his arms around her legs and lifted up, pulling her away from the hook on the wall that was holding her up. His hands moved up her sides as he slid her slowly down, pressing her tightly between the wall behind her and his body. He could feel her body heat, smell her fear – it was intoxicating.

Buffy had listened to Angelus and Spike in stunned silence, fear of what was to come on the verge of overtaking her. She had to calm down, had to think, had to get herself and Giles out of here, had to stop Angelus – God, maybe she could get a pedicure and a facial while she was at it! Obviously, she couldn’t count on Spike for any help now; he would save his own skin and have no problem adding another Slayer notch on his belt, as Angelus had put it. She felt strong arms around her lower legs, felt herself being lifted and her hands that had been trapped above her, now dropped painfully down in front of her. After being in that one uncomfortable position for so long, the heavy shackles pulling her arms down made her shoulders throb as pain knifed through them. She tried pulling the shackles apart again, only to cause more pain in her arms and shoulders; she fought a cry of pain, not wanting to show weakness to her captors.

Giles watched in stunned silence, he couldn’t move. Not only had he been tortured by the best for several hours, but now Drusilla stood over him with Angelus only a couple of feet away. He watched the blond vampire pull Buffy down, his hands all over her – Giles felt nausea start to overtake him and struggled to keep the bile down from his throat. Was this how it would end? Buffy being raped and killed, if not by Angelus’ own hand, certainly by his orchestration, while he stood by, or more aptly sat by, helplessly and watched? He had to think, there had to be something he could do . . . think, damn it!

Spike struggled to keep his demon down as Buffy's feet hit the floor and she stood in front of him, their bodies pressed together. Buffy locked eyes with Spike, her green eyes boring into the depths of his blue. His cool, hard body was pressed into hers and she thought she could feel every muscle even through his clothes. She knew she could feel his erection. God, her shackled hands, now trapped between their bodies, were pressing directly against it. She kept her eyes locked on his, then she heard it, “Trust me” . . . or she thought she had. It had been barely a whisper, she couldn’t really be sure. She quickly decided that she had little choice but to hope she had heard Spike correctly and shot him a look, willing her eyes to convey that she had heard. Her eyes then darted to Angelus, had he heard it? He hadn’t moved or said anything and surely Spike knew just how loud he could speak to keep from being heard by his grand-sire. She briefly caught Giles’ eyes with her own, again, trying to convey to him to be ready with just a look.

Spike took her chin in his hand and turned her attention back to him, his eyes slid over her face and settled on her lips. Tilting her head up to him he lowered his mouth to hers, she tried to pull away, but a firm grip by his other hand on the back of her neck, plus the wall to her back, kept her from leaving his embrace. The kiss was slow, deliberate and in any other context, it would have been romantic, even sweet. She thought again of his words, “Trust me,” and stopped struggling in his embrace and returned the kiss, parting her lips for his tongue to slowly explore her mouth.

No longer having to hold her in place, Spike starting rubbing her shoulders and arms, effectively kneading the stiff and aching muscles, causing an unconscious moan to escape Buffy’s lips as she felt the circulation and strength return to them. He slowly lowered his hands, sliding them down her arms until they rested on her hands that were trapped between them, exploring the shackles mutely for a moment before moving to start unfastening his belt.

“Our Sweet William has found his effulgence, he has. Naughty, naughty, boy," said Drusilla. "My darling William, so lost all these years. Not even the little fishes could bring him home. ” Drusilla started sing-songing about glittering, shiny, effulgent fishes.

“Dru, do stop your prattling on!” said Angelus impatiently. Then, turning back to where Spike and Buffy stood, “I didn’t tell you to kiss her to death, Wee-Willie!” Angelus was getting impatient with this display. “You better start fucking that mouth instead of sucking it dry if you don’t want to be dust in the next ten seconds!”

Although Spike stiffened slightly at the taunt, he kept his hands between them, his mouth on hers. Spike moved his hands back to the shackles on her wrists and gripped them tightly; he stopped moving his mouth on hers, taking her lower lip between his blunt, human teeth and bit down ever so slightly to signal NOW! At the same moment, Vampire and Slayer pulled together with all their strength against the shackles on her hands.

At first, Buffy thought it wouldn’t be enough, but then suddenly the heavy chain between the shackles snapped, unfettering her wrists from their prison. However, Angelus had heard it and was already rushing towards them. Spike ducked just in time for Buffy to throw a punch that landed directly on Angelus’ jaw, sending him back onto the ground behind Spike. While Angelus was down, Spike yanked Buffy’s feet out from under her, sending her down hard on her ass and nearly knocking the wind out of her. She was confused until she realized that it was the only way he could get enough leverage to effectively break the chain between her ankles. He struggled against the heavy chain to no avail for a moment until she joined him in trying to pull the shackles apart. The chain on them snapped just like it had done on her wrists, leaving her in the shackles, but no longer hobbled by them.

She was up in a second, leaping over Spike to tackle Angelus. She saw Giles in her peripheral vision as he lunged at Drusilla. She was too fast for the weary Watcher, though and Dru moved easily to the side as Giles sprawled heavily on the stone floor. Spike leapt to his feet and spun around in time to see Buffy wrestling with Angelus for the sword he still held, Kendra’s sword. What he hadn’t expected was Drusilla moving swiftly from where the Watcher laid on the floor to join the struggle between Angelus and Buffy. He needed to get to Dru, get her out of here – take her with him and leave this hell dimension of a town behind; needed to get back to normal, back to the way it was before Angelus had re-joined their lives.

He moved to intercept her, but she was closer to them and moving too fast. He hadn’t seen the stake in her hand until she pulled it up over her head, steeling herself to drive it deep in Buffy’s back as Buffy still struggled with Angelus for control of the sword. “SLAYER!” Spike screamed as he flung himself at Drusilla. His only thought was of protecting the Slayer from the ambush. The two vampires, sire and childe, tumbled to the ground in a flash of ebony and platinum, Spike falling hard on top of Dru. The hand with the stake in it caught under her, driving it into her heart.

There was a split second look of panic in her eyes, “William!” was the only thing she could say before dissolving into dust.

“DRUSILLA!” Spike screamed her name, willing it to not be true.

A rage built within Spike as the realization of what had been taken from him hit home. Leaping to his feet he ran to where Buffy was still struggling on the ground with Angelus. Grabbing her under her arms, his rage and adrenaline augmenting his strength, he pulled her up and off Angelus, tossing her into the nearest wall like a sack of potatoes. Blinded by rage, Spike stood over Angelus and screamed, “YOU! YOU DID THIS! YOU BLOODY SON OF A BITCH! YOU KILLED HER!”

The moment that Angelus was free from Buffy’s assault, he started moving away from Spike, closer to Acathla, chanting the Latin incantation of the ritual to free the sword. Angelus made a last lunge with all his strength to grab for the sword and pull it from the demon statue, blood staining his hands from where he had been struggling for Kendra’s sword with Buffy, before Spike attacked Angelus with fists and fangs.

It was too late, Buffy could only watch from where Spike had thrown her as Angelus pulled the sword from the stone demon. “NO!” she screamed, leaping back to her feet and picking up Kendra’s sword where it had been left when Angelus lunged towards the stone demon.

Spike and Angelus were still fighting near the demon when Xander ran into the room. Buffy saw him and yelled, "Get Giles out of here, NOW!” Xander didn't hesitate, helping Giles up and heading out of the mansion with him.

Buffy turned back to the fighting vampires. She knew what she had to do – only Angelus’ blood would close the portal and save the world now. How she was going to get Spike away from Angelus to do that, she wasn’t sure – she might just have to kill them both.

As these thoughts raced through her mind, both vampires suddenly stopped fighting, seemingly caught in some kind of trance for a moment. She was close enough now to see a light flash in Angelus’ eyes - Spike was facing away from her so she couldn’t see his face, but somehow knew whatever had stopped Angelus had also stopped Spike. She took the opportunity that was presented to her to shove Spike away from Angelus and the demon statue, standing alone in front of him with Kendra’s sword at the ready.

Angelus looked at her, confusion clouding his eyes “Buffy? What’s going on? Where are we? I don’t remember.”

Lowering her sword slightly, she stepped towards him. “Angel?” Suddenly, she realized what had happened. Willow must have done the spell again and it worked. Angelus was gone, which meant that Angel had his soul back.

Taking her arm in his hand he said, “You’re hurt! God! Buffy, your shirt!”

She stepped closer, pulling him into an embrace.

“God, I feel like I haven’t seen you in months. Everything’s so muddled,” he said. Tears poured down their faces as she hugged him to her. Over his shoulder, she could see the demon portal opening. Her mind raced, Oh God, no, no, no, I can’t do it! It’s Angel, he has his soul back! But from deep within her she knew she had no choice. If she didn’t stop the portal, it would end the world . . . again. She started to pull back away from him.

“What’s happening?” he asked as he searched her face for answers.

“Shhshhshh,” she quieted him, placing a finger on his lips. “Don’t worry about it.” Her hand caressed the side of his face before her lips met his in what she knew would be their final kiss.

Pulling back to look into his eyes she murmured, “I love you."

“I love you,” Angel responded, his voice deep with emotion.

“Close your eyes.” He searched her face again. She just nodded, silently imploring him, “Trust me.” He closed his eyes and Buffy moved her lips to his one last time before backing up and swiftly thrusting Kendra’s sword through him and into the demon portal at his back. His eyes flew open, reaching a hand towards her.

“Buffy?” was all he said before the portal closed, pulling Angel in with it.

She watched horrified as the portal closed around him, her tears rolling freely now. Her knees buckled under her as she sank to the ground in front of the now dormant stone demon. Sobs wracked her body as she folded herself into a tight ball and tried to deal with the fact that she had just sent her lover to hell, with his soul intact.

Spike had watched the exchange from the floor to the side of the demon where Buffy had shoved him out of the way. He was mourning his own loss, he had been with Drusilla for over a century, what would he do now without her? But watching the broken Slayer on the ground before him somehow made him hurt even more. He moved to her, tears running down his face from his own grief. Spike pulled her to him, rocking her gently in his arms, murmuring soothing words and smoothing his hands over her hair trying to comfort her. She clung to him as if her life depended on it, burying her face in his chest as the uncontrollable sobs escaped her throat.

“Gonna be alright, let it out now, it’s ok, pet.” But even as he said it, he wasn’t sure how anything would ever be alright again.

Something had happened to him, he still wasn’t sure what, but he felt . . . different somehow. So many emotions were running through him, emotions that felt stronger than he’d ever remembered. Sorrow, pain, compassion, despair all battled for attention. He blocked them out by concentrating on trying to comfort the young woman in his arms, for he knew her pain too – they both had lost their loves this day.

He didn’t understand how seeing this woman who he had fought, who he had more than once tried to kill, who was certainly one of the strongest people he’d ever known, how seeing her so broken could cause him such pain and sorrow. Yesterday, it would have brought him untold joy to see her like this; today he wanted nothing more than to make it better, to heal her heart and ease her pain.

How long they had been on the floor, he didn’t know. Exhaustion had finally overtaken the broken Slayer and she now slept in his arms. Slowly, he rose to his feet, picking her up with him as gently as he could and making his way to one of the bedrooms in the large mansion. As soon as he laid her down on the bed and tried to pull away from her, he could feel her sobs start again.

“Please don’t leave me,” she begged. A human wouldn’t even have heard her, her voice was so soft.

“Not leavin’, pet,” he whispered back to her as he wrapped the sheet around her, her shirt still open from Angelus’ earlier display.

He moved to a dresser on the wall and pulled out a black T-shirt from a drawer and took it to her. “Here, luv, put this on.” Staying covered by the sheet, she pulled off what was left of her shirt and bra and tossed them on the floor before slipping the T-shirt over her head.

“Thank you,” she murmured, unable to meet his eyes.

Spike removed the still fastened shackles from her wrists and ankles before moving to the end of the bed. He removed first her shoes, then his own along with his duster, tossing everything next to her tattered clothes on the floor, and crawled in alongside her. They clung to each other, each giving comfort to the other before they both fell into a fitful sleep.

Time line: Mid-May, 1998. A few hours after sending Angel to hell; Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

**~**

Buffy woke with a jerk from her nightmare; she had been kissing Angel when a huge demon stepped up behind him and swallowed him whole as he screamed her name. Oh, God, she thought, not a nightmare . . . it was real. Buffy tried to focus, tried to remember where she was.

Buffy looked around the room trying to determine exactly where she was. From her position lying on her side in the bed, she was looking over a nightstand at a dresser against the wall. She saw her tattered shirt in a heap on the floor along with her shoes and some other clothing, but she could see little else. Lifting up to get a better look around, she felt a weight across her middle.

Buffy stopped moving as it all came back to her. She was at the mansion on Crawford Street and it was Spike’s arm across her. He was holding her back against his front as they spooned together in sleep. He started to stir when he felt her wake up, but she laid her arm over his, interlacing her warm fingers with his cool ones and held his arm in place across her middle. Snuggling back against him, she prayed silently for him to stay where he was; she didn’t think she could stand being alone just yet.

When he settled in against her and let out a small sigh, she closed her eyes again and relaxed into him. She had no idea how long they had been asleep. The room was dark. No shit, Sherlock: vampire = dark. They could have been here an hour or a day, she had no idea, but she was still exhausted and just wanted to rest a little while longer.

Buffy thought she was dreaming again when she heard her name being called. It sounded far, far away. She couldn’t wake up enough to figure it out and hoped it would just go away. She didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to move, didn’t want to face a day knowing that she had sent the love of her life to hell, with his soul intact, no less. Just want to sleep. Sleep good, she thought as she drifted back into the fog.

Suddenly, she felt Spike’s hand yank out of hers and his hard torso pull away from her back where she had snuggled against it. There were many voices now “BLOODLY HELL!” , “BUFFY!”, “OH GOD!”, “GET AWAY FROM HER!”; all close to her, all much too loud. She willed herself to open her swollen eyes and clear her foggy brain to see what was going on. She rolled over to find Xander on top of Spike on the bed beside her. He was struggling to put a stake through Spike’s chest, while Spike tried to push him away.

Buffy yelled, “NO! XANDER, NO!” throwing herself at him. They both tumbled to the floor on the other side of the bed. Buffy leapt to her feet and pulled Xander up by the front of his shirt. “What the hell are you doing?” she asked angrily.

“Spike! Spike was . . . he was . . . attacking you!” Xander stuttered the accusation out.

“Noooo,” Buffy dragged the word slowly across her tongue. “He was not attacking me.” Buffy suddenly realized that Xander wasn't alone - Willow, Oz, and Cordelia were standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking on.

“Then what’s going on, Buffster? Where’s Angel? What’s Spike doing here? Where’s Drusilla? What’s Spike doing here, with you, in bed? Why are you wearing his T-Shirt? What the HELL happened here after I left with Giles?” Xander was suddenly angry with Buffy.

Spike was now standing at the end of the bed and Buffy moved to put herself between him and the others in the room. “Angel is gone.” It was barely a whisper. Tears stung her eyes and she willed them not to fall.

“Angel’s gone where?” Xander pressed her.

“He’s GONE, Xander! DEAD! No more! History! Sucked into a HELL DIMENSION with his SOUL firmly intact! Is that what you want to hear?!” Buffy had gotten pretty pissed off herself.

There was an audible gasp from Willow. “His soul . . . intact?”

“Yes, at the last minute . . . it was too late . . . I had no choice, I had to . . . had to . . .” Buffy was going to lose it all over again; she wasn’t ready for these questions. Spike stepped up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. She closed her eyes and leaned back into his chest to steel herself before she started again. “I had to kill him to close the portal. Angel's gone.”

“And Drusilla?” Xander prodded.

She could feel Spike stiffen behind her and wished she could give him some strength as he had done for her, but she just didn’t have any to give, so she answered simply, “Dusted.”

“Angel’s gone . . . so you find the next best undead thing and fall into bed with him?” Xander asked with disgust as he eyed Spike.

“OI!” Spike exclaimed.

Buffy slapped Xander across the face. “Wow, Xander, you gonna' need a parachute with that leap? 'Cause you have no idea what's going on here!”

“Well, why don’t you explain it to us Buff, because it looks to me like you’re sleeping with the enemy, AGAIN.” Xander held a hand on his cheek where she had struck him, trying to stop the throbbing that was radiating to all parts of his head.

“Spike is not my enemy. He’s . . . he’s . . . he’s a . . . a friend, an ally.” All her friends looked at her incredulously. Spike? A friend? An ally? Had she lost her mind?

Buffy kept on, un-phased by their gaping mouths. “If it weren’t for Spike, I’d be dead right now – or worse . . . much, much worse than dead! Dead to the power of TEN, would I be right now. He saved me! Twice! He helped me stop Angelus! And that was before he got his soul!”

The small room erupted again with everyone talking at once.

“What the bloody hell, Slayer!?”, "His Soul?”, “What?”, “How?”

Buffy looked at Willow. “Spike was fighting with Angel when you did the spell to restore Angel’s soul, it got them both, Will – I saw it.” She turned around to look into Spike's face. His brows were pinched together, his head tilted, questioning her, his blue eyes boring into hers. “Can't you feel it?”


Spike suddenly turned away from her and walked back to the farthest wall, his hands holding both sides of his head in utter frustration. "Arrrggh, you bloody white hats!" he yelled, turning back around and advancing on Buffy with vampire speed. Stopping just inches from her, he poked a finger at her chest and yelled, “TAKE. IT. THE. HELL. BACK. I don’t want a bleedin' soul! I’m not Peaches. TAKE IT BACK!”

“I don’t think we can, Spike.” Willow stepped back away from Spike and Buffy as she spoke, afraid that he might attack her right there, soul or no. “You got your soul back at the same time Angel got his, from the same ritual and now Angel’s gone . . . I don’t think we can undo it, you know? Because, ummm, Angel . . . gone?”

“It’s ok Spike, all you have to do is fuck the Slayer one time and that pesky soul will scamper right off. Apparently, she doesn’t have a problem screwing the undead. It looked to me like you were half way there when we walked in, anyway.” Xander said scornfully.

Xander had pushed Buffy too far this time, but before she could even react Spike was past her and had lifted Xander up off the floor by the throat.

“You need to learn to hold your tongue, Boy, and show the Slayer the respect she deserves, because you haven’t the slightest bloody idea what you’re talkin' about,” Spike snarled.

Xander struggled to breathe beneath Spike’s grasp, but Spike held him firm. “I ought to rip your head off and eat your brains. Oh, wait! No brains in there, huh, scarecrow?”

“Spike.” Buffy laid her hand on the arm that was holding Xander prisoner. “Spike, let him go.”

“Not until he apologizes to you.”

“He can’t talk, Spike – it’s a small problem we humans have. We have to be able to breathe to form words.” Buffy spoke calmly, and tightened her grip on Spike’s arm just enough for him to feel it.

Spike relaxed his grip on Xander’s throat only slightly, but Buffy firmed her grip on his arm further and pulled it away, leaving Xander bent over and gasping for breath.

“Sorry,” he finally croaked out.

“Doesn’t sound like you really mean it, scarecrow,” Spike said, his voice low and threatening.

“I mean it, I mean it! I’m sorry!” Xander rushed the words out.

Pulling Spike further away from Xander, who was still bent over and gasping for breath, Buffy turned her attention to the others. “How's Giles?”

Willow brightened at the change of subject. “He’s fine, Buffy, I mean he’s gonna be fine, just, you know, conked on the head and tortured and all . . . . but no, fine, really! Don’t worry.”

Buffy addressed her three friends still near the doorway. “Guys, could you do me a favor and pick up some pig's blood from the butcher and drop it back by here later?”

“Bugger that, Slayer . . . . again, not Peaches here. Not drinking no soddin’ pig's blood when there’s lots of happy meals still walking around.”

Buffy turned to face him. “Spike, are you planning on staying here? In Sunnydale, I mean?”

“Don’t suppose I have any pressin' engagements elsewhere,” he retorted.

“Then there will be no walking meals, happy or otherwise.” Buffy’s eyes locked with his, daring him to defy her. After several seconds, Spike blinked first, lowering his eyes to the ground and, with a small nod, gave in to her demand.

Turning back to her friends she said, “Ok, that’s settled then, if you guys will do that for me, I’d appreciate it.”

“What are you gonna do, Buffy?” asked Willow looking between the two blonds. “I mean, you know, will you, umm, be here when we get back?”

“I don’t know, probably not, I need to go home in a little while and have a Slayer to Freaked-out-Mom talk and then check on Giles . . .”

“Well, umm, it’s just that, you know, not really feeling the love here . . .maybe you were wrong about that soul thing.” Willow looked warily at Spike who instinctively shifted his body language to his best “Big Bad” look; hooking his thumbs over his belt buckle, squaring his shoulders, narrowing his eyes and pursing his lips together.

“Spike’s not gonna hurt you guys are you, Spike?” When there was no answer from behind her, she turned to him, again issuing the challenge with her eyes locked to his. “Are you, Spike!?” she repeated.

Bloody demanding bitch, he thought as he held her gaze, Bloody beautiful demanding bitch. His mind flashed back to the kiss when she was standing against him, shackled and seemingly helpless, but not really helpless at all - brave, strong, her lips soft, giving, but also demanding. He thought about just that morning, just a few minutes ago really, when she was snuggled against him; her heat warming him, comforting him like he’d never felt before. His cock started to harden in his jeans from the memory of her body next to his . . . bloody hell!

He moved his eyes to the three standing near the door. “Nah, won’t be turning your little friends into sodding Scooby snacks, Slayer. Except maybe scarecrow boy; he’s not welcome here until he learns some respect.” He turned a hard glare on Xander who had finally caught his breath but was still massaging his throat where Spike had held him.

Buffy knew she wouldn’t win an argument over Xander with Spike right now, especially since she pretty much felt the same way at this point. “Fine, then, that’s settled. You guys can go on. I need to talk to Spike a few minutes, then I’ll head home myself and catch up with you later.”

As the three near the door turned to leave, Spike heard Xander mutter under his breath, “Talk . . . riiight.” Before anyone knew what was happening, Spike buried a fist in the drywall next to Xander’s head. Although the others hadn’t heard Xander, Buffy had, and she didn’t interfere with Spike this time.

Spike was standing nose to nose with Xander, blue eyes locked on brown, one fist buried in the drywall by Xander’s head, the other pressed into the wall on the opposite side, barring Xander from moving. “You know, even without a soul I had more compassion for my mortal enemy than you do for someone you call a friend, you git! She killed the man she loved last night, sent him to hell by her own hand!”

“She killed the monster she loved last night, not a man!” Xander retorted, his anger overwhelming his fear. “And now she’s fallen in with another monster when the old one isn’t even cold yet! Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

“And if she has? What are you, jealous?!” Spike watched Xander’s face carefully for a reaction to the words and, although it was only a quick emotion passing behind the younger man’s eyes, Spike saw it and knew he was right. “That’s it, idn't it?! You’re just sodding jealous that the Slayer wouldn’t have you, you fucking wanker. You’ve no bloody right to judge her, she’s the Slayer, she’s a WARRIOR." Spike articulated the world carefully to be sure the brainless git understood. "She saves this world, including your sorry ass, every fucking day and she can love whoever she bloody well wants to. It’s not up to you!”

Spike suddenly pulled away from Xander, showering plaster dust down on him as he pulled his hand out of the drywall. “Now sod off before I do something that she’ll regret.”

Xander quickly followed the others out of the room and Spike slammed and locked the door as soon as Xander had cleared the threshold. Buffy let out a breath that she wasn’t aware she had been holding and all her energy seemed to drain from her body with the air. She collapsed back onto the bed, lying on her back, her feet still on the floor, her arms crossed over her face, eyes closed as she willed herself not to start crying again. “Well, that was pleasant . . . as in not!” she tried to sound angry, but it sounded more like disappointment than anger.

Xander’s words rang in her head, “She killed the MONSTER she loved . . ." and the tears she had been holding back started falling again. She turned on her side, hugging her knees to her chest in an effort to make herself as small as possible as the sobs began wracking her body again.

Spike sat back on the bed and pulled her to into his lap, she buried her face against his chest, unable to stop the tears. Her heart felt as if it had been pulled, still beating, from her chest, and it had been one of her best friends that had stuck a knife in the open wound and twisted.

Spike rocked her, trying to soothe her with gentle words and caresses. Soon, his words had changed into a lullaby. As he sang softly to her, he wondered how it came back to him so easily, the lullaby his Mum used to sing.

{{
Listen to the song at the link below. Click on the play button near the top of the page that opens (in the yellow area of the page) to hear the song:

EARLY ONE MORNING - CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

http://www.lala.com/zq9m

}}

Early one morning, just as the sun was rising,
I heard a maid sing in the valley below:
"Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use a poor maiden so?

"Remember the vows that you made to your Mary
Remember the part when you vowed to be true
Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use a poor maiden so?

"Gay is the garland, fresh are the roses
I've culled from the garden to bind on thy brow
Oh, don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use a poor maiden so?

"Thus sung the maiden, her sorrows bewailing;
Thus sung the poor maid in the valley below:
"Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use a poor maiden so?"

"Through yonder grove, by the spring that is running,
There you and I have so merrily played,
Kissing and courting and gently sporting,
Oh, my innocent heart you've betrayed!

"How could you slight so a pretty girl who loves you,
A pretty girl who loves you so dearly and warm?
Though love's folly is surely but a fancy,
Still it should prove to me sweeter than your scorn.

"Soon you will meet with another pretty maiden,
Some pretty maiden, you'll court her for a while;
Thus ever ranging, turning and changing,
Always seeking for a girl that is new.

"Thus sung the maiden, her sorrows bewailing;
Thus sung the poor maid in the valley below:
Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use a poor maiden so?"


As the tears flowed freely down his face, Spike realized that he hadn't thought of the song in over a hundred years. He wondered if it was getting his soul back, William's soul, that made him remember. The words of the old lullaby never meant more to him than at this moment, as he rocked the heart-broken Slayer in his arms.

Time line: Mid-May, 1998.
About 12-15 hours after sending Angel to hell; Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

**~**

Buffy woke slowly, her head rested against a cool, hard chest. The owner of that chest was curved around and over her, as if protecting her from some unseen attacker. She remembered immediately where she was and who it was that was holding her. Spike. She let out a small sigh and tried to move, but found it difficult with his weight on her; she really needed to pee, otherwise she would have just stayed put. Moving as slowly as possible, she slithered down towards the bottom of the bed and out of Spike’s grasp. He only moaned lightly at the loss, but didn’t awaken.

It was dark in the mansion – duh! she thought, vampire’s lair! She had no idea what time it was or how long she had slept. She felt like shit, her eyes were swollen from crying, she had bruises on her wrists and ankles that were starting to throb and her head still hurt where someone must have knocked her out before kidnapping her. Yeah, she felt like shit, or more like the whole shithouse had been dropped on her.

Letting her eyes adjust to the darkness and remembering the layout of the room, she stepped to the door, turned the handle and pulled. Nothing . . . it didn’t open. Fuck. Then she remembered Spike had locked it after her friends had left, obviously to keep them from coming back and just barging in again. She felt above the handle and found the lock and turned it; the door opened quietly. Stepping out into the hallway and closing the door with a slight “click” behind her, she pondered silently, “If I were a bathroom in a vampire’s mansion lair, which way would I be?”

Looking first one way then the other down the hallway, she decided on the direction that had the most doors. Stepping to the first door, she opened it and looked inside – just another bedroom. Moving slowly along, she came across two more rooms, devoid of furniture. She hit the jackpot at the fourth door and silently thanked the Powers That Be for vain vampires who require working bathrooms. Buffy wondered if it was a blessing or a curse that there were no mirrors in it. After cleaning up a bit, washing her face and running her fingers through her tangled hair, she came back into the hall and started back the way she had come to retrieve her shoes from what was apparently Spike’s bedroom.

“Buffy?”

Buffy stopped and listened again, not sure she had actually heard something.

“Buffy, where are you?”

Ok, definitely heard it now. It came from the room opposite the bathroom. Who could possibly be here calling her name? Spike would be back in the other bedroom, not down here, surely. She turned and moved to the door; taking a deep breath, she opened it quickly. She stood frozen as Angel turned around from where he had been lighting candles that lined the mantle in the oversized bedroom.

“Angel?” Buffy asked, her brows knit in confusion.

“Buffy! Thank God, I thought you wouldn’t come back!” Angel rushed to her, taking her in his arms and pressing a desperate kiss to her mouth.

“Bbbuut . . . . how . . . I saw . . . you were gone . . . .” She tried to form a coherent thought, tried to talk, but his lips devoured hers. She gave up and gave in, thrusting her tongue into his mouth as he explored hers with his own - hungry, searching, demanding more. Running her hands through his hair as he pulled her against his body, she could feel his erection pressed into her and pushed her body even harder against his.

Angel scooped her up and laid her down on the bed, never breaking the breathless kiss. He moved his hands under the t-shirt she wore and slid it up her body, breaking the kiss only long enough to pull it over her head and off.

“Oh, God, Buffy, I missed you so much, I love you so much,” he murmured into her ear as he started trailing kisses down her neck, pausing over the spot where her pulse raced to nibble lightly with his blunt teeth, causing her to writhe under him.

“Angel! Oh, Angel, yes! Please, I want you so much.”

Angel smiled and moved to look into her eyes. “Buffy, I want you more than anything, you know that don’t you? You know I love you, don’t you?”

She lifted her lips to his in a passionate kiss, giving him his answer. Pulling away, Angel trailed his cool tongue down her body to find a hard nipple. He swirled his tongue around it before taking it into his mouth and sucking hard. Angel worked the other nipple between his fingers, tugging and pulling lightly on it until Buffy arched her back, pressing her body harder against him, and moaned his name.

Moving lower, he reached the top of her jeans and deftly undid them, sliding them and her desire soaked panties down her legs and off. Looking down at her now naked body he murmured, “God, so beautiful.” He reached to undo his own pants, but was stopped as Buffy sat up and began undoing them for him. His cock immediately jumped out of its confines as she slid his pants down his legs and he kicked them off. He pushed her back down; she spread her legs and lifted her knees, opening her dripping pussy to him. She gasped as he slid his hard cock into her, “Oh God, Angel!” She tilted her hips up to give him better access, wrapped her legs around his hips, and pulled him in to her cunt.

“Buffy . . . oh, Buffy,” he murmured over her as he began sliding slowly in and out. “Jesus, you’re so tight!”

He bent his head down and took her mouth with his, tasting, probing every inch of it with his tongue while he increased the thrusts into her. She matched his rhythm with her own hips meeting his. She dug her nails into his back as he fucked her; she could feel the orgasm coming as he slammed into her. “Yes, Angel! Yes, harder! Oh, God, yes!” Her inner muscles tightened around him as she came in waves of pleasure, he thrust harder as he felt her clench around him, keeping her riding the waves of pleasure longer than she thought possible.

As she started coming down from her climax, Angel flipped her over so she was on top straddling him and he slowed the rhythm again. Using one hand to pinch and pull one hard nipple, he slipped the other between them to finger her clit. At his touch she bucked against his hand and his cock, urging him on. She started moving up and down on him, first matching his slow rhythm, then increasing it until they were once again slamming against each other with power only a Slayer and a Vampire could achieve.

She screamed as she came again, unable to form words, his fingers hard on her clit, his cock buried deep in her. She felt him tense beneath her and she squeezed around his cock even harder as he spilled his cum deep within her with a roar of his own. She collapsed on his chest, his now only half hard cock still inside her, their juices dripping from her cunt to coat his balls and ass in warm stickiness.

He put his arms around her as she lay on his chest and breathed into her ear, “God, Buff, you really do know how to take the soul right out of a guy.”

Buffy shot up, to look into his face. “No!” His eyes! His eyes that were so warm and loving when she had entered the room were now hard and mocking. “NO! NO! NO!” she screamed at him. She punched him in the face then continued beating him in the chest as she tried to move away. She had to find a stake! Oh, God, what have I done?! AGAIN! What the hell is wrong with me!?

He grabbed her hands to stop her assault. “Stop it, God damn it! Slayer, stop!”

“Bloody hell, Slayer! WAKE UP!”

Buffy woke with a start, still trying to pull her hands away from her captor and escape to find a stake. “Slayer, STOP!” Spike yelled at her.

Not Angel! Oh God, not Angel, not Angel.

She stopped struggling long enough to fully absorb the fact that it was Spike she was straddling. Oh, thank God we still have our clothes on! And it was he who had her hands held in his, trying to contain her. He had blood coming from his nose where she'd hit him and one cheek was quickly turning a deep shade of purple.

“Oh, God, Spike! I’m . . . I’m so sorry! It’s ok, you can let go of my hands. I’m sorry!” He slowly released her hands, but kept his at the ready for defense in case she struck out again. “Oh, God – I just . . . a nightmare . . . Spike, I’m sorry! You’re bleeding!”

“ S'nothin', Slayer.” He took one finger and wiped his bloody nose then licked it off. She looked at him like he had two heads.

“What? Vampire, remember?”

She was still astride his hips and apparently not moving from her perch on his ever growing erection. Sure that she was done pummeling him, Spike put his hands behind his head and gave her his most lecherous look. “Generally not into shagging birds while they’re asleep and calling someone else’s name, but you seem to be wide awake now if you’d like to finish what you started." He swiveled and raised his hips up to press his erection harder into her now soaked-through jeans.

She looked at him for a second, the kiss he had used to buy time the day before flitted through her mind and made her pussy throb in need. Her whole body seemed to vibrate from within as she leaned down, her mouth hovering over his.

“I’m not Angel,” he whispered into her mouth.

“I know,” she murmured back, lowering her lips to lightly brush his, taking his lower lip into her mouth, tasting him, teasing, before she deepened the kiss to match the growing need she felt in her body.

Time line:
Mid-May, 1998.
About 12-15 hours after sending Angel to hell; Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

~~*~~

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy and pulled her body against his as she deepened the kiss, their tongues probing, tasting, their bodies responding to the aching need they each felt, pressing into each other. Suddenly, the image of Angelus’ mocking eyes from her dream came to her, his words echoing in her head, “God, Buff, you really do know how to take the soul right out of a guy.”


Buffy immediately pulled away, pressing her palms against Spike’s solid chest, “No, NO! Stop! The curse, Spike STOP, LET ME GO!” He released her and she tumbled backwards off the bed onto the floor before scrambling to her feet and backing against the wall, as far away from him as she could get within the small room.


“BLOODY HELL, SLAYER! You can’t just start that and change your mind now!” He was up and stalking slowly towards her.


“No – Spike, please, I’m sorry, the curse, your soul, I can’t!” she tried to explain.


Spike stopped and considered her. She was shaking in fear, eyes down on the ground in shame, arms wrapped around her body as if to stop herself from going further with what they, correction, what she had started.


“Thought we’d already established that I’m. Not. Angel.”


“Yes, yes I know that - -but the curse is the same, your soul, Spike!”


“Didn’t ask for the bloody thing, don’t need it – not really sure it’s even true. Don’t feel any different; no overwhelming urge to sit in the dark and brood.”


“Oh, so you’re in the habit of rocking your mortal enemy to sleep while you sing her a lullaby?” Buffy retorted.


Bloody hell, she heard that, did she? He had hoped she was too out of it to hear or remember that display that was so very William and so NOT Spike.


“Wouldn’t say it was a habit, no. If you ever breathe a word of that to ANYONE, I will kill you, soul or not!”


Buffy couldn’t help but smile. Big Bad’s reputation was in danger. “I won’t tell, if you won’t tell that I let you, and that I liked it. It was a comfort.”


“Yeah? You liked it?” Spike tilted his head to consider her answer and his dead heart seemed to fill with . . . with something – what was it? Bloody, fucking horniness is what it is! He thought to himself. Nothing more than her getting him all worked up and left high and dry, literally.


“Yeah,” she murmured almost too low for even a vampire to hear. “Did you just make it up?”


“No, it was a lullaby my Mu . .” he stopped short and started over. “It’s an old song.”


“Come over here and sit down.” Spike moved back to the bed and sat back, leaning against the headboard, his legs stretched out in front of him, his erection still all too apparent in his jeans. She eyed him warily but didn’t move.


“Sit on the end of the bed, come on, I’m not going to bloody bite you! I think you need to know some things about Angel.”


Buffy moved slowly to the bed, crossing her legs Indian style and sitting as far away from Spike as she could. She saw Spike’s nostrils flare and his body tense when she sat down and thought she saw a flash of gold in his blue eyes before he closed them. Then she realized: her jeans were soaked through with her juices and he could obviously smell her arousal. Stupid vampire smelling, she thought as she changed positions, tucking her legs under her and keeping her thighs pressed tightly together.


“About Angel,” she started, sure that would break Spike from whatever depraved thoughts he was having right now. His eyes opened and took her in. He realized she had changed positions and felt sorry for the loss of that sweet aroma but was also touched that she knew what it was doing to him and did what she could to minimize the torture.


“Why do you call him Angel, anyway?” she continued.


“’S his name, idn’t?”


“Well, yeah, NOW it is, but when you knew him he was Angelus, right?”


“Call him what you want, Angel, Angelus, Liam, PONCE – all the same person, just different sides to the same coin.”


“Coins don’t have that many sides,” Buffy pointed out.


“Right then, different sides to the same coin if coins were shaped like pyramids,” Spike scoffed.


“It’s not true, anyway. Angel and Angelus are completely different –night and day, EVIL AND GOOD!” Buffy retorted.


“Bollocks! Liam, Angelus, Angel, they’re all the same person, luv. He just plays the game differently depending on the name he chooses that day. Angelus is always in Angel, Angel is always in Angelus and Liam is the base of it all. You don’t just lose your personality when you become a vampire, pet, it’s augmented. Some parts strengthened, some parts minimized, but still there. If you fancied virgins as a human, you’re still gonna fancy virgins as a vampire, luv.” Spike leaned forward to look into Buffy’s eyes, to make sure she understood what he was saying before he continued.


“Did Angel ever tell you anything about his life before he was turned?” he asked her.


“He said that he killed his whole family and pretty much his whole village . . ." her voice trailed off.


“No, that’s AFTER he was turned, what about before?” Spike pressed his question.


Buffy thought about it hard, “No, I don’t guess so,” she finally acquiesced.


“Well, I can tell you. He was a no good lay-about who enjoyed living off his father’s money and squandering it on booze and women. And when I say women, I mean YOUNG women – thirteen, fourteen year old VIRGIN-type women.” He emphasized the last part to make sure she got his meaning.


“How would you know? You didn’t even know him then – you weren’t even BORN then!” Buffy was getting defensive of human Angel, no, Liam, she reminded herself.


“Heard enough about it from Peaches' own lips, and Darla’s. Seen plenty of it myself, too. Was always bringing home the young ones to play with, he was, for him and Darla. Said virgin’s blood was second only to Slayer blood in potency. ‘Course, they weren’t exactly virgins when he was done with them, now were they? What do you think got that curse put on him in the first place? That gypsy girl couldn’ a' been over thirteen when he ravaged her. I’ve seen more than one girl torn up from the inside out by him and I don’t mean her heart being broken.” Spike was determined to get her to see what her beloved Angel truly was, soul or no soul.


“B-b-but, that was Angelus, not Angel!” she stammered back at him.


Spike rolled his eyes. This wasn’t working. He started a different tack. “Right, so, when you were, say, fifteen and living in L.A. just as you were getting all Chosen, Angel wouldn’t have had any interest in you at all.”


“I didn’t know Angel then . . .” Buffy was confused about where this was going.


“Com’on, Slayer.” Spike jumped up and grabbed her hand, pulling her off the bed, out the door and down the hall towards the bathroom. No, not towards the bathroom, towards the room ACROSS FROM the bathroom, the room from her nightmare.


She pulled back trying to break his grip. “Where are you taking me?!” she demanded, trying to find something to grab on to stop him from pulling her along the hallway. When he swung the door open to what she surmised was Angel’s room since that’s where he had been in her nightmare, she latched onto the door jamb and stopped him from dragging her inside.


“What the fuck, Spike!”


He pulled harder on her arm, trying to dislodge her, but she had a firm grip on the door jamb now and was not budging. He dropped her arm and stomped over to the bed, pulled an old trunk out from under it and shoved it towards her.


“Go on then, take a look at what your precious souled up Angel has in there!”


Buffy backed up into the hall as the chest came sliding across the floor at her, it hit with a hard THUMP against the molding around the door. The latch was facing her, it was locked. “It’s locked," she said, "whatever’s in there is private.”


“Sod private, Slayer. He’s fucking gone!” Spike reached over the trunk and yanked on the clasp, breaking it cleanly and pulling the top open to reveal the contents of the trunk to Buffy. Without touching it, she could see a bunch of photos to one side, some letters tied with a string were stacked neatly in one corner, there was some clothing that appeared to be blood stained tossed unceremoniously in the center, but what really caught her eye were the lilac papers, trimmed in gold, folded neatly on top of the clothing.


She gingerly reached in and pulled the papers out and opened them. As she recognized her own handwriting on the pages her eyes widened. They were pages from her diary! Reading quickly, she realized they were all her ramblings about her feelings and fantasies about Angel.


He said he hadn’t read my diary that day he was stuck in my room, that he would never do that! When had he taken them? It must have been after he had turned into Angelus, before I had Willow disinvite him.


She refolded and stuffed the pages into the back pocket of her jeans before she reached in to pull out some of the clothes that were in the trunk. She knew them immediately. They were all hers: mostly tops, but some pants, as well, that had gotten blood, her blood, on them during various demon fights. He must have picked them out of my trash! Clothes with Slayer blood on them, in his bedroom; her mind stopped her before it went any further with the implications of THAT.


These could have been put here after he turned into Angelus. Angel wouldn't have had my bloodied clothes!


Dropping the clothes she picked up the stack of photographs, scanning through them quickly she realized they were all of her, and not just recently, either. There were several from LA, Buffy sitting on the steps of her old school, Buffy with her old watcher in LA, Buffy in her old bedroom dressed in just her PJ's, taken with a telephoto lens but clear enough to see that it was her and it was her bedroom in LA.


Before Angelus.


Buffy felt bile building in the back of her throat. She dropped the photos back into the trunk, whirled around and lunged toward the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before the first heave of nausea overcame her.


Spike watched her reactions to the items in the trunk. Angel had shown them to him one time when he was gloating about shagging the virgin slayer and how he’d had her in his sights for a long time. That was one of the big differences between Angel and Spike; Angel could make a plan and follow it for years to fruition, reveling in the details as it all came together. Spike’s longest plans were more along the lines of “I’m gonna' kill you on Saturday, Slayer.” and then not even having enough patience to wait that long.


Spike shoved the trunk out of the doorway and made his way over to Buffy where she sat on the floor in front of the toilet, still leaning over it as dry heaves wracked her. He held her hair back away from her face, but didn’t say anything – what was there to say? I told you so?


When Buffy felt like she could finally move, she got up and leaned over the sink, running cool water onto her hands to splash her face and rinse out her mouth. She again wondered if she should be thankful there were no mirrors in this bathroom. She couldn’t imagine how horrible she looked, if how she felt was any indication. Spike had backed out into the hallway and leaned against the wall waiting for her to finish.


When she came out, he stepped out in front of her and held her hands together between them. “I’m sorry. You wouldn’t believe me otherwise.”


Buffy nodded and willed her voice to be steady. “I’ll be back later to collect that trunk and everything in it.”


Spike simply nodded.


“Willow and Oz should be dropping off your blood anytime. You gonna be okay here by yourself?” Buffy finally met his eyes, which she had been avoiding until now.


“Right as rain. Been here pretty much alone since you dropped that church on me and burnt us out of the factory.”


“I didn’t drop a CHURCH on you Spike, it was just an organ! Exaggerate much?” Buffy tried to lighten the mood and Spike played along.


“Other organs I can think of would be much more pleasant to have you drop on me, Slayer,” he retorted with a sly grin as he raked his gaze down her body. “Maybe get a rain check to finish what you started earlier?”


“Because you don’t need a ‘sodding soul’,” Buffy mimicked his cockney accent. “And ‘our William was always the sensitive one’?" she repeated Angelus’ words from the previous day.


“Yeah, somethin' like that.” Spike smiled; not his usual smirk, but an honest, open smile.


“Doesn’t rain much in California, you know.” Buffy smiled back at him.


“I can wait.”


With that, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and pulled away from his grasp, heading back to the bedroom to retrieve her shoes.


He leaned against the wall, lit a cigarette and watched her retreat. “Yeah, I can wait,” he murmured to himself.

Time line:
Mid-May, 1998.
About 18-24 hours after sending Angel to hell; Mid-May, 1998, Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

**~**

Buffy was surprised to find the sun fairly high in the sky when she emerged from the mansion, about two or three in the afternoon, she surmised. She felt like she had been there for days – of course, she wasn’t sure what DAY it actually was. Maybe I have been here for days, she thought wryly.


She made her way to the hospital to check on Giles, but they told her he had been sent home earlier that morning and that none of his injuries were life threatening. She figured out that she had actually only been at the mansion one night; it felt like a lifetime.


Feeling that Giles was ok, she headed home. She really needed a hot shower and a change of clothes before she could face anyone, certain that the Scoobies had informed Giles of the events of that morning by now and the oh dear’s and Do you think that’s wise’s, along with scrupulous cleaning of his glasses, would meet her upon her arrival at Giles’ apartment.


Inside her house, Buffy called for her mom; not home – Thank God for small favors. She headed upstairs and straight to the bathroom. Pulling off her grimy clothes she paused to hold Spike’s t-shirt to her nose and inhaled deeply. It still smelled like him, smoky, earthy and sexy her mind added involuntarily. NO, NOT SEXY. CURSE BAD, she repeated to herself forcing the sexy thought out of her mind. Then she realized she was still holding his shirt to her face and swiftly dropped it on the floor. SEXY SPIKE BAD - CURSE BAD.


Stepping under the hot spray of the shower felt like heaven. She leaned against the wall, closed her eyes and just let the water run over her. An image of Spike trailing his fingers down her body as the water caressed her skin came to her mind. Her body ached for release and she brought her fingers down to begin stroking her clit. Her legs nearly buckled as tremors of electricity shot down them at the touch and she decided standing up right now wasn’t the best idea.


She took the hand-held shower head out of its holder and brought it down with her as she sat down, leaned back and spread her legs on the sides of the tub before she started again. Setting the shower head to “massage” she held her outer lips open with one hand and worked the pulsing spray against her hard clit. Her hips thrust towards it involuntarily as her legs trembled. She closed her eyes and tried to blank her mind, just concentrating on the feeling of the hot water hitting her most sensitive spot.


If I could just cum, I would stop thinking about Spike, she assured herself silently. I don't want HIM, I just need a release, that’s all. But, no matter how she tried, Spike kept popping into her mind.


His lips on hers, his hands on her body. Oh fuck, it’s just a fantasy – if it gets you off, then it will be over, you’ll be over this obsession with him, she thought ruefully and let it continue. His fingers on her clit, his tongue on her nipples, his cock pressing into her . . . She came hard, writhing in the tub, bucking against the showerhead and imagining it was more. “Oh God, yes, YES, SPIKE! FUCK ME SPIKE! JESUS! YES!”


After her shower, she felt some better. The bruises on her wrists and ankles were nearly healed and she’d managed to take the edge off her horniness with that unbelievable tub-gasm. She felt ready to face the music and headed over to Giles’.


When she reached the door she paused and listened. Yep, gang’s all here, she thought. She couldn’t make out everything that was being said, but definitely heard Spike’s name as well as her own being bandied about. Then Xander said something about “soul” and “Angel”. She wondered if she should just walk in or knock first. She decided that just walking in and making them abruptly stop talking about her would be way more fun, and, knowing how the rest would go when they did start talking again, getting a little fun now was of the good.


She opened the door and walked in quickly. “Hi guys!” she said brightly as everyone stopped talking and gaped at her.


Her mom jumped up from where she had been sitting on the sofa and ran to her. “Buffy, are you alright? I was so worried!”


“Mom? What are you doing here?” She looked around the room, confused as to why her mother would be involved in a Scooby meeting.


“When you didn’t come home I called Willow and she said Mr. Giles could fill me in on this Slayer thing you think you are. Apparently, everyone knows about this obsession of yours except me!”


“Mom, I. AM. THE. VAMPIRE. SLAYER. It isn’t something I THINK I am! It’s not something I chose to be – it CHOSE ME! Surely Giles explained this to you.” Buffy looked past her mom to Giles who was, of course, cleaning his glasses – she nearly laughed out loud.


“Indeed, Buffy, I have endeavored to explain all this to your mother . . ." Giles put his glasses back on and looked at her. “Are you alright?”


“Yes, everyone can stop asking me that, I AM ALRIGHT! I teamed up with my mortal enemy to kill my vampire lover – I’m sure everyone knows this story by now!” She looked around the room at the guilty faces of her friends who couldn’t quite meet her eyes.


“Indeed,” Giles spoke first. “And Spike, how is he?”


“Spike is fine, he has a soul now. Second verse, same as the first. Very sure you guys have covered all this without me.”


“And you intend to keep him as your, umm . . . friend, then?” Giles asked, taking off his glasses to clean yet again.


“Yes, I intend to keep him as my FRIEND. He helped me, he saved me – you were there Giles! You saw that he helped me, even BEFORE Willow souled him up. We would both be dead now if it weren’t for him! I think YOU should consider extending him a little gratitude yourself!” Buffy was starting to get pissed now. She knew this would happen, but it still got under her skin.


Her mom touched her shoulder. “Buffy, you’re just a girl. He’s . . . he’s much older than you and . . and apparently a vampire.” Her mom looked at Giles for assurance that Spike was, indeed a vampire. She was still having a hard time accepting the idea of it. When Giles gave her a nod, her mom continued, trying to be sympathetic. “Do you really think that’s wise after Angel?”


Giles continued with the "Spike-Bad" theme, a theme that she had just been singing herself at home just a short while ago, but that was her prerogative, not theirs. They hadn’t seen him like she had. “Buffy, you must realize that the enemy of your enemy, although they may make a good ally in the short term, cannot be trusted to be a friend once the battle is over.”


This last statement seemed to open up the floor to discussion and everyone started talking at once. She really couldn’t make a lot out of all the words that were flying past her. “Evil”, “tried to kill us”, “monster”, “vampire”, “lose his soul”, “Angelus”, “Spike” – it was just a flood of noise now.


“STOP! PLEASE STOP!” Buffy screamed.


The last words coming from her mother heard clearly as everyone else stopped talking, “You’re just a girl.”


Buffy was at the end of her rope, she backed up away from her mother to address the whole group.


“FIRST. Not ‘just a girl’ – haven’t been ‘just a girl’ for over two years now – I’ve been the Slayer. I’ve TRIED to be ‘just a girl’, but not so much with the girly when you’re stopping apocalypses . . . Apocali? . . whatever! . . every other week and kicking demon ass every night.”



“SECOND. I admit I made a mistake with Angel, but I’m not wrong about Spike. I’ve seen a side of him that you guys haven’t.” Buffy held up her hand to stop the chorus of dissention from her friends. “And I have every intention to keep seeing him and working with him. He’s strong, he’s resourceful and he’s a damn good fighter – he would be an asset to have on our side.”


“THIRD," she started, but was cut off by Xander making a comment about all the sides of Spike Buffy had obviously seen.


She glared at Xander. “THIRD,” she started again, “I finally figured it out. I’m supposed to be dead – was dead, in point of fact, could be dead again tomorrow. My time? Not only borrowed but mortgaged to the hilt! So, if I find someone that I want to be FRIENDS with or LOVERS with,” she stared defiantly at Xander for emphasis before continuing, “who makes my life easier, who can understand me as the SLAYER, then I will not shut him out because you don’t approve!"


Buffy softened her voice before continuing. "I love you all, but there’s a part of me that none of you can touch. Only another warrior can, I think maybe Spike can. It’s the Slayer in me and it’s just as much a part of me as cute clothes, designer shoes, hot chocolate and Mr. Gordo.” She had to make them understand, but wasn’t sure if they ever would – hell, she wasn’t sure that she really understood herself.


“Honey,” her mother started, “you aren’t any different than any other teenage girl with a crush on a dangerous older boy.”


“No, Mom, you’re wrong. I wish it was that simple.”


“Buffy, I didn’t want it to come to this, but I forbid you to see Spike any more, you’re grounded until further notice!” Her mother said it with her best "MOM" voice.


Buffy was incredulous, she nearly laughed out loud. Did any of them hear a single word I just said?


“Yeah, Mom, and I FORBID the next BIG BAD from trying to end the world! I FORBID the demons from being all demony and eating people! And the grounding thing? Didn’t work last year, either.”


Buffy turned on her heel and left the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She grimaced as she heard the wood of the jamb splinter when the door hit but didn’t slow down or look back.


She headed back to her house and quickly packed a bag. She didn’t think her Mom would be home too quickly. Surely all her friends would sit around and analyze the poor Slayer who had lost her mind, but she didn’t want to take any chances. She wrote a quick note and left it on her bed:


Mom,
I’m sorry but I can’t stay.
You know where I’ll be.
I love you,

Buffy

Time line: Mid-May, 1998.
About 18-24 hours after sending Angel to hell; Mid-May, 1998, Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

**~**

Spike was relaxing on the couch in the main room of the mansion when he heard Buffy coming down the stairs in the garden. The sun was just setting, but there was enough to stream through the heavy drapes covering the door when she came in.


“OI! Watch it, Slayer!” he yelled as he rolled away from the beam of light and stood up at the end of the couch.


He was dressed as usual, black on black, T-shirt and jeans; his belt was undone, as was the top button of his jeans. Buffy dropped her bag inside the door and pulled the drapes closed before walking over to him.


He took her in, all showered and clean, her hair shone in the sunlight before she closed the curtains back, like a golden waterfall. She had on a crop top, mini skirt and wore her normal high heels. He could never figure out how she fought so well in those heels, but he definitely appreciated what they did for her legs.


Buffy walked straight up to him and, without saying a word, pushed him down flat on his back on the couch and straddled his hips with her own before leaning over and whispering in his ear, “Fuck me."


Spike looked at her suspiciously, but his hands instantly went to her hips and slid up under her skirt, to discover she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.


“Didn’t notice it rainin', Slayer,” he said in the most casual tone he could muster.


“It’s raining . . . somewhere,” she defended.


“Did you have that talk with your Mum?”


“I did, with words and everything.”


“And?”


“And . . . I’m grounded.”


A chuckle escaped Spike’s lips, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, eyes wide. “You’re . . . grounded? Time out Sunnyhell, the Slayer is grounded!” He couldn’t contain his mirth.


“Sure, grounded, you don’t see any wings on me, do you?" She turned at the waist to show him her back and its complete lack of wingage. "Totally grounded. Now, are you gonna talk all night or are you gonna fuck me?” She ground her hips harder into him; she could already feel his erection through his jeans.


He ignored her and continued his questioning. “Your Mum know where you are, my wingless Slayer?”


“She does, I left her a note.”


“And all your little friends and your Watcher?”


“Yes, Spike, the entire WORLD knows where I am.” She flung her arms out to the sides, to illustrate. She affected her best Hollywood announcer’s voice before continuing, “Slutty the Vampire Layer is at the Vampire Mansion Lair having her slutty way with the Big Bad.”


In her normal voice, she continued, “If everyone thinks I’m a slut, I might as well get the spoils.” She ground her hips into him again, to punctuate the last word.


“What’s in the bag? Slutty toys? Outfits?” Spike asked hopefully as he eyed the bag that she dropped near the door.


“Weapons . . . and clothes, just normal clothes.”


“So, planning on staying a while, are you?”


“Not unless you start doing something other than talking,” she retorted.


“Uh-huh. Have you ever been slutty before, Slayer?”


“No, but I thought you could teach me. Professor Spike, Master Vampire!" she announced the last words like she was introducing a luncheon speaker, Dr. Smith, PhD.


She shrugged. "All evil having for the last century; figured you’d be qualified for the position.”


“Oh, I’m qualified for many positions, Slayer, just trying to suss YOU out. What are you doin' here?” He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes, trying to read her face.


Buffy sighed, apparently he wasn't going to stop talking. “I want to be here, I want to be with you. No one else can understand these feelings I have. I don't think anyone other than another warrior can possibly understand. And, anyway, I’m sure that it is raining . . . somewhere.”


“And the soul losing curse?” Spike asked.


“Not really worried about it anymore. You're right, you’re not Angel."


She stopped and met his eyes before continuing, "I mean, after all, how easy is it to achieve PERFECT happiness, anyway? I think the two of us would be lucky to achieve lukewarm un-miserableness at this point.”


What the bloody hell are you doing? Spike thought to himself. It's been months since you've been with a woman and you've got one sitting atop you begging you to shag her and you're questioning her bleedin' motives?!


It had, in fact, been since before he and Dru were attacked in Prague since he'd had sex with anyone other than mother palm and her five daughters. Dru had been too sick and weak after that, then, when he'd finally cured her, the Slayer put him in a wheelchair . . . and, of course, let's not forget Angelus claiming Dru back for himself.


Bugger this!


Spike snorted. “Class is in session then, Slayer.” In one deft move he lifted her off his hips and onto his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and stood up from the couch. With one hand on her bare ass, he grabbed her bag with the other, and headed for the stairs.


“Better take this up to a proper class room in case your buddies decide to show up with stakes a blazin' or your mum gets a hankering to chop my head off with that axe o' hers.”


Buffy squirmed on his shoulder and he slapped her ass. “Be a good little Slayer now, and you’ll get your spoils.” He slid his hand between her thighs and up to her dripping pussy to make his point; she gasped in surprise but stopped squirming.


Maybe the PTB are paying me back for saddling me with this sodding soul, he thought wryly. He couldn’t contain the grin on his face as he carried her up the stairs; his cock so hard he thought it would pop the remaining buttons on his jeans.


Of course, it had been that way all day except those few minutes after he’d wanked off in the shower thinking about her. Smelling her arousal all over his bedroom had nearly driven him crazy, which is why he had gone downstairs to the couch for a while. He’d already decided he would never wash those sheets again, but now, he had the real thing, right here, slung over his shoulder, his fingers in her dripping pussy. Maybe my time in Sunnyhell won't be a complete disaster, after all.


In the dark bedroom, Spike put her down on her feet and spun her around to face one wall. “STAY,” he commanded and she obeyed.


She could hear the door closing and the lock being thrown. Spike thought that tomorrow he should put locks on all the exterior doors, no way was he going to have her here all the time and only be able to shag her in one room, but he didn’t want anything to disturb them tonight so this would be fine, for now.


Buffy heard some rustling behind her and a lighter flicked then closed, suddenly the room was bathed in candle light.


Spike turned her in his arms to face him; he had shed his clothes and she couldn’t stop her eyes from taking in every inch of him as she laid her hands on his shoulders. Soft alabaster skin covered the hard muscles of his chest and six pack abs, his cock, standing hard up against his stomach was, was, OH GOD, IT'S AMAZING. How could someone with no pulse have a hard on like that? She felt her pussy ache for it. Her eyes came back up to meet his, she could barely see any blue, his irises dilated with desire. She reached a hand down to stroke his cock but he caught her wrist firmly and pulled it back up to his chest.


“Not so fast, Slayer. My lesson, remember? Now you be a good girl and do as you’re told. Got it?”


Buffy nodded once, Spike let go of her wrist and slowly started to unbutton her top, keeping her eyes locked in his like a vise until he brushed a hard nipple with his hand causing her to close her eyes as soft moan escaped her lips and her back arched, aching for more.


“Ah, ah, ah, Slayer – eyes open.” He stopped his task until she opened her eyes again to his, before he continued to slowly undress her. Cool hands brushed against her hot flesh making her want to put a stop to this torture and just pull his cock into her dripping, aching pussy.


He was sliding her skirt down her legs, his fingers tracing rivers of icy-fire down her thighs as he knelt before her and pulled it down all the way to her ankles. She quickly kicked it off, followed just as quickly by her shoes. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to control himself enough to finish this lesson properly - the smell of her arousal was overwhelming him and it was taking all he could do to keep from throwing her on the bed and fucking her into next week.


As he knelt down, Buffy loosened the hold the gel had on his curls as she moved her hands slowly through his hair. Without his gaze on her face, she closed her eyes and just let herself feel his touch. Cool hands against her hot flesh sent chill bumps over her skin as he started to trace his fingers up from her ankles, pausing to draw small circles on the tender skin at the back of her knees before continuing up with excruciating slow feather touches along the inside of her thighs.


When he got to her apex, he drew in a ragged breath to steel himself and he traced the line where her thighs met her hips. With a frustrated moan, Buffy removed one hand from his hair and moved it to her mound, she had to have some relief and if he wasn’t going to do it, she would just do it herself.


As she started a finger between her outer folds, Spike caught her wrist again and pulled it away. “Ah, ah, ah, Slayer – no touching, that’s mine. If you’re not going to be a good girl and follow my rules, then I’ll just have to make you behave.”


Before Buffy knew what had happened, Spike lifted her onto the bed, straddled her hips to hold her down; clasping both of her hands above her head with one of his. If she had really wanted to escape, it wouldn’t have been any problem for her to pull free, but she really didn’t want to escape. She felt his rock hard cock pressing into her belly and raised her hips to change position and get him closer to her throbbing pussy.


“If you don’t stop moving, the lesson will end before it’s even begun, Slayer.”


Her eyes bored into his. If looks could kill, Spike would have been dust already, but she stopped moving and relaxed under his weight. As he reached across the bed for two scarves he had laid out, his chest pressed against her hard nipples causing her back to arch towards him of its own volition.


“God Spike, you’re killing me!” She wanted it to sound indignant, angry, but it came out as more of a plea.


He smiled, that sexy, knowing smile he had, as he tied one, then the other, of her wrists above her head, secured to the headboard with the scarves, before coming back and leaning down next to her ear, “Yeah, luv, gotta die before ya' can go to heaven, and heaven is where I’m taking ya’ t’night, pet.”


Spike wanted to taste every inch of her and started with her neck, he used his tongue and lips and teeth to suck and lick and nip at her salty skin. He could feel her pulse just below the skin and had to fight to keep the demon down, he knew how heavenly her Slayer blood would taste, but that’s not what he wanted tonight.


He slid further down her body with his mouth and his hands. Buffy could feel his cock now pressed into her thigh and she fought to keep from wrapping her legs around him and pulling him into her, lest he end the lesson before his promise of heaven.


A scream caught in her throat as he found a hard nipple with his mouth, circling it with his tongue before taking it into his mouth and sucking it hard between his teeth. His hand working the neglected breast, lightly pinching and tugging on the other nipple between thumb and forefinger until the scream in her throat came out as a rush of words,

“JesusGodOhGodSpikeGodPLEASEPLEASE moreCHRISTSPIKE!”


Her body bucked against him, she was no longer able to control it as she felt a wave of orgasm starting to flow over her. She could no longer speak as she struggled to just breathe. She felt the scarves pull tighter against her wrists, but it just added to the pleasure that immersed her body.


As she came down from the high, she could hardly believe that he could make her cum without even touching her burning pussy. Her eyes were closed again from the onslaught of the orgasm; she could hear his deep voice speaking, but struggled to focus enough to make out the words.


“God, Slayer, you're beautiful, so bloody beautiful.” She opened her eyes to see him gazing down at her as his hands continued to move slowly over her breasts and the flat of her stomach. “Like heaven on Earth, you are.”


He slid further down her body until he was laying flat on his stomach between her legs; lifting one, then the other of her tanned legs, over his shoulders, he tilted her hips up to reveal her throbbing quim.


“Wha .. . What are you doing?” she stammered.


“Getting me a taste of heaven, luv.” Before she could question further, Spike’s tongue made a slow circle around her rock hard clit before lavishing the hungry knob with feathery licks.


“God, like fucking ambrosia," he muttered as he continued to lavish licks and sucks on her sensitive, aching organ.


Buffy wrapped her thighs around his head as she bucked against his mouth, another litany of pleas and moans passed her lips as she started for another orgasm only to come to a frustrated stop when Spike pried away from her grasp.


“Ah, ah, ah . . . my lesson, remember Slayer? Now, do I have to tie your ankles as well?”


Shaking her head side to side, she let her legs fall back down so they were draped over loosely his shoulders again. She thought she would certainly die of frustration any minute now. While that one orgasm had taken the edge off a bit, Spike’s expert tongue had brought her arousal back tenfold. God, just let me CUM! she pleaded silently.


“Are you ready to be a good Slayer, now?” Spike asked.


She breathed deep to try and settle herself and nodded to him – afraid to try and speak lest her voice make her sound even more needy than she actually was, which was bordering on the Queen of Needville right about now.


Spike settled back and began again on her clit, Buffy moaned and tried hard not to buck against his inscrutable mouth or tighten her thighs against his head as he played with her quim, tasting her juices, teasing, testing every fold of skin for sensitivity to his touch – trying to memorize every inch of her.


As he continued to tease her clit with feather touches of his tongue, he dipped first one, then two fingers into her dripping slit. Buffy gasped as his fingers entered her, her inner muscles working to pull him deeper into her heat. He started a slow fuck with his fingers pulling out, adding another and pushing in again – ever so slowly . . . in and out, in and out. All the time keeping his mouth working her clit, sending sparks of electricity down her quivering legs all the way to her toes and up her torso to her now neglected nipples.


As if he could read her body, he reached the other hand up and starting lazily playing with one hard nipple then the other causing her already ragged breath to catch in her throat and her hips to buck against his fingers against her will.


“Jesus Spike, please, please, God, PLEASE.”


Pausing his tongue but still slowly finger fucking her, he replied, “Please what, Slayer?”


“Spike, please, you’re killing me.”


“Slayer of Slayers, luv . . . thought you knew that.”


“Spike, Please!”


“Tell me what you want, pet.”


“God damn it, FUCK ME or KILL ME, Spike! I can’t take any more!”


“Oh, I think you can take much, much more, Slayer.”


Before she could say another word, Spike pulled his fingers out of her throbbing slit and pulled himself up over her, hands on either side of her, the muscles in his arms bulging, his hard chest just inches from her burning body, holding himself perfectly still above her, his aching cock at the entrance of her slick hole.


She responded, tilting her hips up, wrapping her legs around his narrow hips, but not pulling, lest he stop again. So fucking close . . .she had to close her eyes to concentrate on not just pulling him into her.


“Open your eyes, luv,” Spike murmured above her.


Slowly, Buffy opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, his own eyes full of desire. He dipped his head down to kiss her mouth, his cool tongue finding its way through her parted lips to taste her.


She could taste her own juices on his mouth and it made her ache even more for him to be inside her. She kissed him back, her mouth and tongue searching his, devouring her own juices from his lips. She wanted to put her arms around him but didn’t want to do anything that would stop what she knew would be the heaven that he promised her, so she didn’t pull against the scarves holding her wrists.


Never taking his mouth from hers, Spike pressed his hips to her, the head of his cock finding her aching channel. Just like he’d fucked her with his fingers, he pressed into her slowly, struggling against his own desires to make sure she was ready for his girth and to increase her desire even more.


Buffy gasped when he finally entered her, raising her hips up to meet him, but allowing him to control the pace. It had been so long since she'd been with Angel and the feeling of actually having a man press into her was overwhelming. She could feel her pent up orgasm start from somewhere deep within as he slid slowly inside her, filling her, making her feel complete. When he was buried to the hilt in her heat, his balls pressed hard against her ass, he stopped moving and pulled away from the kiss to look into her eyes. She thought that she would surely drown in his eyes, the blue just barely there, but still the most beautiful color she’d ever seen.


“You’re amazing, Slayer – absolute heaven, you are,” he whispered to her. He started pulling back out, just as slowly as he went into her, watching her as she bit her bottom lip and let out a moan – her eyes stayed open, locked to his, never wavering.


Spike reached one hand up and pulled the knot loose on first one, then the other, of the scarves holding her wrists as he started pushing his cock back into her heat, faster now than before. He leaned down next to her ear, “Don’t hold back, Slayer, you won’t hurt me. Let go. Just be.”


Buffy wrapped her arms around his hard back and tightened her legs around his thin hips matching his rhythms, thrusting up as he thrust down. Her inner muscles squeezing him hard within her; pulling him in and not wanting to let him go. The orgasm that had started building when he'd first entered her was swelling, words were coming from their lips and they didn’t try to hold them back.



“JesusSpikeGodohGodYesSpikeFuckme,yes,GodharderSpikefuckmeharderJesus!”

“SlayerGodLetGoFuckSlayerGiveittomeYESJesusyesharderSlayerBloodyChrist!”


He could feel her orgasm building around him as he pumped his cock into her slick, hot channel and that only made him pound her harder, faster until he felt her whole body spasm and buck wildly against him. Her thighs tightening around him, pulling him to her harder yet, his pelvis slamming hard against her aching clit. Her words had degenerated into loud, piercing screams as she fell over the cliff and into heaven.


It came from somewhere so deep within her, it was something she’d never touched before, nothing before had ever been this intense; he kept pumping her, holding back his own release to make sure she had found her heaven. As her screams of ecstasy echoed off the walls of the room, her inner muscles clenching him tighter and tighter, he couldn’t hold back any longer and let himself go, spilling his cum deep in her with a roar that started somewhere deep in his belly and seemed to vibrate throughout the entire room.


As their orgasms started to fade into small tremors of pleasure, his strength sapped for the moment, he could no longer hold himself up over her and Spike let his body collapse on top of hers, holding her close with his arms, as she continued to hold him tight to her with both her legs around his hips and her arms around his chiseled back. Keeping his now spent cock buried deep inside her, never wanting to let him go.


Her heat against his skin felt like the light of the sun itself, glowing, warm. He hadn’t been able to enjoy the sun in over a century, but this was it, this is how it felt, he was sure of it . . . somewhere in the back of his mind the word effulgent crept up to his consciousness, and he couldn’t help a small smile at the thought.


“There will be a short intermission before your lessons resume,” Spike murmured into her ear.


Buffy gave his cock a hard squeeze inside her.


Spike lifted up so he could look at her. “Vixen!” he accused.


“Guilty,” she smiled innocently.

Time line: Mid-May, 1998.
The night following Angel being sent to hell.
Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

**~**

The men watched the warrior lovers through time, through magicks, waiting for what was prophesized.


When two great warriors join, the hunted and the hunter lie together in love, the keepers shall bless their seed to create the vessel for the Key. Only the two great warriors shall have the power to protect the Key from the Beast.


The younger of the men spoke, “It is time. The warriors have joined.”


“No, not yet. The warriors are not yet ready to accept the gift,” replied the elder.


“Time is running short.”


“Yes, but it is not here yet. Love must first blossom.”

**~**


Spike held Buffy tight and flipped them over, settling her above him on his hips, his cock already hardening again within her. He pulled her head down to him and took her mouth in a slow, sensuous kiss. Probing and exploring her with his tongue as she slowly began pumping her hips up and down on his length.


Spike pulled back from the kiss. “Suck me off.”


Buffy stopped what she was doing with her hips and looked at him with wide eyes. “But . . . I never . . .” she started.


Spike grinned. “Thought that was the point of our lessons, luv. Com’on now, class’s back in session. And don’t forget to swallow.”


“WHAT? Gross!” She sat back up, screwing her face up to convey just how gross she thought it was.


It nearly made Spike laugh, but he held the chuckle in and pressed her. “Not gross. Nectar of the Gods. Now be a good Slayer Slut and do as you’re told.”


Buffy sighed, she had asked for this, after all. Ok, she could do this, she thought to herself, but she was no way going to swallow anything, nectar of the Gods or not.


“Ok, but you have to tell me what you want.”


Spike smiled. Oh yeah, this was gonna be bloody fucking brilliant. Spike spread his legs apart to allow her to perch herself between them, bent his knees and tipped his hips up to give her complete access.


“Start with m’ balls, lick, suck, use your hands on my cock at the same time.”


Spike closed his eyes as she started, tentatively at first, but growing bolder as she went on. His words of encouragement made her more confident. “Christ, Slayer, yes . . . Jesus, God that feels good.”


When she nibbled with her teeth at his ball sack and then sucked them completely into her mouth, lolling them around with her tongue Spike nearly lost it. “Argngh, bloody . . . christ . . . mhmnph . . . fuck.”


Buffy smiled to herself, what power she had over him! He was writhing under her mouth, barely able to form words, she was driving him completely insane! This is bloody brilliant! Wait . . . When did I starting thinking in “Spike”?


“Stop. Slayer, STOP!”


Buffy let go, genuinely concerned that she’d done something wrong. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”


“No, luv, bloody wonderful. Just, if you keep on, I’m gonna cum before the end of the lesson.”


“Oh!” Buffy brightened and went back to work. She flicked her tongue lightly on his balls and then started up the shaft, replacing her mouth with her hand on his balls as her tongue worked its way up his erection, licking, sucking, nibbling all along the length of it until she got to the tip. Pulling it to her mouth with one hand she ran her tongue in slow circles around the head, then flicked lightly at the slit. Tasting his pre-cum, she stopped momentarily, somewhat surprised – it wasn’t that bad, not nectar of the Gods, which would have tasted like Godiva Chocolate, but not like that time that Grolac demon oozed grossness all over her before she killed it.


She continued her exploration, so intent, she hadn’t realized Spike was talking again.


“Use that other hand to tease my arse, Slayer, and the other one, tighter around . . . God, yeah, that’s it.”


Buffy tightened her hand around his shaft and trailed the fingers from her other hand down from his balls to his tight ass, feathering touches on the sensitive area around it. She lowered her mouth down on the velvety head of his cock and sucked hard, trailing her tongue round and round at the same time.


“Jesus! Holy mother of Bloody Christ, Slayer! ” Spike was directing her head with his hands now, controlling her rhythm as she pumped up and down with her mouth, taking in as much of him as she could, stroking and squeezing the rest of his shaft with her hot hand. She momentarily wondered why vampires would be calling to God and Jesus Christ – you’d think those words would burn their tongue or something. She could feel him tense under her, his words had degenerated into nothing more than moans and grunts and she stopped. Completely stopped, pulled away and took her hands off him.


“Bloody Hell!”


“What’s the matter Spike? Turnabout’s fair play.” She smiled coyly up at him.


“You little minx! I’ll show you turnabout! Flip 'round, put your arse right up here . . .”


He showed her where he wanted her as she eyed him suspiciously, but did as he instructed. Once he had her dripping pussy situated over his mouth and her mouth over his aching cock, he flicked his tongue over her ass before sliding it down to her dripping channel and began fucking her with it.


Buffy gasped as his tongue touched her and bucked when it entered her, doing her best to concentrate, she went down on his cock with renewed fervor, but every time he swirled his tongue in a different place, she gasped and found it hard to concentrate on what she was doing. Then she felt something else penetrate her, pull out and just as suddenly press against her tight ass.


“What the fuck?!” It was his thumb, she realized, in her ass!


“Relax, Slayer, let me in.” He pressed a little harder and Buffy tried to relax, letting him penetrate her ass with his cum slick thumb, as he passed the tightest part, she gasped again.


“Christ! Jesus Christ, Spike! God, don’t stop!” She pushed back against him, spreading her legs even further to give him full access to her ass and pussy. He moved his thumb slowly around in her bung hole and started again on her pussy with his tongue, when he touched her clit she bucked against him and dove back down on his cock with her mouth, sucking, pumping and squeezing it like her life depended on it.


“Slayer, stop. Shhh. Slayer! Listen!”


She didn’t want to stop, didn’t want him to stop. God, was he out of his fucking mind!? “WHAT!?”


“Someone’s here,” he whispered.


“WHAT!?” Suddenly on alert, she stopped and tried to connect to her demon senses, but all she could sense was Spike.


“How many? Demons?” She hated that she couldn’t hear what he heard or sense anything at this point.


“No, human, several . . ." he started but was interrupted by a knock on the door.


“Buffy? Buffy, are you in there?” came softly from the hallway.


“Willow?” Buffy replied to the closed door.


“Bloody hell,” Spike murmured as he went back to what he had been doing.


“Yeah, Buffy, umm, we’re here to get the, you know, demon world-ending-statue-thingy so it can be, you know, neutralized,” Willow said from the other side of the closed door.


“Sure, Will, fine,” she started as Spike tongued her clit again “Aaaggh . . . Ooohh . . . Jesus . . . I mean, umm, yeah Will . . . ooooo . . . go ahead and take it.” Buffy slapped at him to get him to stop and tried wriggling free, but he held her hips firm and his thumb was still in her ass; she gave up.


He started moving his thumb in and out slowly. “Jesus!” She exclaimed and pushed back against him, arching her back to take it in even more.


“Buffy, are you ok?” came from the other side of the closed door.


Fuck, Willow was still there!


“Yeah, Will. Fine. “


“Cause, you know, you sound like maybe not fine . . . are you sure? I can get Giles . . .”


“NO! NO GILES! I’m fine, really. I’m just . . . " Buffy thought about what to say, but gave up, deciding to just go with the truth. "I'm at the fornication fair here and . . . OOOO! . . . ummm . . . you know, fornication . . . AAAGH! with an evil vampire with a heavenly tongue . . .”


“TMI! BUFFY . . . WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION!” Willow stopped her from continuing.


“ ‘K then – you guys can take the . . . fuck! . . . demon. See you later, Will.”


“Umm, Buffy?”


God, why wouldn’t she go AWAY already?


“Yeah, Will?”


“We kinda need you and Spike to help us get the demon out. It’s really big and heavy and, you know, you guys with the super strength and all . . . Giles sent me up here to get you.” Suddenly worried, Willow asked, “You are in there with Spike, right?”


“No Willow, I’m in here with a random vampire I picked up on the street earlier. Thought I’d give ‘em all a test drive before settling on one!”


Spire growled in her pussy, vibrating her whole body and sending tremors down her legs.


“God, that’s so sexy!” she addressed Spike before turning her attention back to Willow. “Can it wait 'til morning?”


“Well, no, not really, Buffy – plus, you know, sunlight – kinda dusty for vampires. Sorta hard for Spike to help us during the day.”


“Ok, Will, tell them we’ll be down in a minute.”


“Or fifteen,” Spike said loud enough for Willow to hear.


“Ok,” Willow responded and finally left.


“Random vampire, huh?” I’ll show you a bloody random vampire!”


Spike dove back into her pussy, sucking on her clit as his hand continued to fuck her ass. Buffy bucked again and dropped her mouth back down on his cock.


She couldn’t make out anything he was saying, just random grunts and muffled cries as he serviced her with his mouth . She could feel the orgasm building in her, she stopped her own sucking to demand, “MORE! NOW! MORE!” from Spike.


He removed is thumb from her ass and entered her dripping pussy with three fingers, slamming them into her hard. She arched her back, throwing her head back and screamed, “MORE!”


Spike continued to finger fuck her hard. Taking his other hand off her hip where he had been holding her, he reached up to twist and pull at her hard nipples. “ARRRhhh! YES!” The new sensation pushed Buffy over the top of her climax and she clenched his fingers within her with so much strength Spike wondered if she would break them.


When she could finally breathe again, she came down on his cock hard with her mouth. Pounding the head into the back of her throat while pumping what wouldn’t fit in her mouth with one hand. She ran her other hand down to her own pussy, slicking it with her cum before bringing it back to him, and pressing one finger into his own tight ass. He didn’t have to be told to let her in. God, she's a fast learner, he thought smugly to himself.


“FUCK! Bloody fucking hell, Slayer!” he screamed and bucked against her as she fucked his cock with her mouth and his ass with her finger. He let go, spraying the back of her throat with his cum and she kept pumping and kept fucking his ass until his spasms slowed to shallow tremors. Removing her finger, she slowly ran her tongue all around his cock, lapping up every drop of his nectar before swallowing it down without another thought.

**~**


When Spike had recovered enough to prop himself up on one elbow, Buffy was digging through her bag, pulling out jeans, shirt and under things. “You better get some clothes on and let’s go.” She glanced up at him from where she was kneeling over her bag.


“Give us a minute, luv.” Spike laid back down on the bed and closed his eyes. He really didn’t want to share her with her bloody friends. He wondered if they would go away if they just ignored them. Probably not.


“The sooner we get this done, the sooner everyone will leave . . .” Buffy was pulling on some boots, obviously ready to get down to the business of demon moving.


“Right then. Be right there.”


Spike started to rise as Buffy leaned over and kissed him on the mouth. "See you downstairs,” she said as she opened the door and was gone.


Spike got up and noticed that all her clothes were mashed this way and that in her bag from her digging to find the things she wanted. He picked up the bag and placed it on top of the dresser. Consolidating his own clothes down to just half the drawers, he left the now empty drawers open for her to unpack her clothes into later.


He pulled on his jeans, socks and boots, grabbed a t-shirt and headed out to find his Slayer.

**~**

As Buffy descended the stairs, the first thing she noticed was that someone had turned the TV up really loud. Willow, Oz and Giles were sitting on the couch near it, but none of them seemed to be paying any attention to it.


As Buffy reached the bottom of the stairs, she called out a greeting over the blaring TV. “Hey Guys! What’s up?”


Willow and Giles jumped at the sound of her voice. Oz had obviously already heard (or smelled? God, I didn’t think of that. How good could he smell, anyway?) her coming. Willow jumped up and turned off the TV.


“Were you watching that?” Buffy inquired.


“Umm . . . no, not really,” Willow stammered but couldn’t meet Buffy’s eyes.


“Ok, you were testing the speakers, then? Did they pass?” Buffy questioned.


“Actually, we were, umm, you know . . .” Willow looked guiltily up towards the second floor, “giving you some privacy while we waited.”


Buffy’s mouth formed an “O”, Were we THAT LOUD? Loud enough that the TV had to be turned up to ‘Rock Concert’ volume? Apparently so. “Oh,” she finally managed. “Sorry?”


Giles still hadn’t said anything as he cleaned his glasses furiously.


“So, what’s the plan? Just take this big boy outside and blow it up? Because, if there’s another rocket launcher involved, I’m all over it!” Buffy changed the subject.


Giles finally stood and looked at Buffy. She looked good, much better than she had earlier that day. If he didn’t know better, he would have said that she was glowing. “Indeed, I wish it were that easy. We need to get it up to the street and onto the truck. It needs to be buried in the dessert with a particular incantation to protect it from future discovery.”


“In the desert?” As in hours of driving and digging and burying and incanting, she thought grimly.


“Yes, well, we just need you, or you and Spike, more precisely, to get it up to the street. Oz has rented a truck with a loader and Xander is already out in the desert with heavy equipment getting the burial plot ready. Is Spike coming?”


Buffy looked back upstairs. “I don’t think so . . . I mean, we just finished . . . OH! Yes! Coming down here . . . to help . . . yes, I’m sure he’s on his way!”


At that moment Spike appeared, shirtless and sauntering casually down the stairs. Buffy stared at him, practically awestruck, as he lifted the t-shirt in his hands and pulled it over his head and down over his torso. She frowned as he finished covering up his chiseled body. His hair was still tousled from their love making. He had considered fixing it before coming down. He really didn’t like the curls, and no one other than Dru had seen them in years, but the thought of the reaction his disheveled look would illicit from the Watcher was just too much to pass up.


“Right,” he started as he walked up to the small group, stopping next to Buffy and placing a possessive hand in the small of her back. “Out to the dust bin with it, then?”


“We have to get it up to the street,” Buffy informed him.


Giles couldn’t make eye contact with either of them and Spike smiled his most lecherous smile. “That it then, Watcher? Just to the curb with it?”


Giles cleared his throat and finally looked at Spike. If looks could kill, Spike would have been dusted for the second time tonight. But, since they couldn’t, the death stare from Giles just made Spike rake his eyes over Buffy, move his hand to her hip and pull her closer to him.


“Precisely,” was all that Giles could get out.


Buffy and Spike walked over to the stone demon and pushed one side of it. It barely moved.


“Bloody hell!”


“How did Angelus get this down here?” Buffy addressed Spike.


“Minions.”


“Where are they? Maybe we can get them to help us get it back out.”


“Uh, I think you dusted them all, luv.”


“You don’t have any more, Master Vampire and all?”


“Noooo,” he dragged the word out across his tongue. “Would you like me to make some more?”


Buffy rolled her eyes. Some master vampire, she thought. “Ok, well, we’ll just have to put our backs into this, then.”


“Other things I’d rather be putting my back into, luv,” Spike said with an evil grin, making sure it was loud enough for Giles to hear.


Buffy smacked him playfully and smiled. “Shhh . . . Watcher!”


As they both pushed on one side of the demon, easing it towards the garden stairway, Oz set up a block and tackle, hooking a chain around the stone demon to help move it. When they finally got it to the bottom of the stairs, Oz re-set the block and tackle so that it would help lift it up to the street. After quite some effort, the stone demon that had swallowed up Angel was to the curb and being loaded onto the large truck Oz had rented.


Buffy and Spike leaned heavily against the stone wall surrounding the top of the garden, both breathing hard. She never could figure why Spike breathed so much, not like he needed it, but she found it somehow comforting anyway.


When they had the demon loaded and secure Buffy asked, “Are the pack mules free to go back to the stable, now?”


Giles looked at the pair leaning on the wall, he still didn’t trust Spike, but it was obvious Buffy did. Since they had very obviously been, ahem . . . copulating, and Spike hadn’t turned into Angelus, he guessed that she was safe enough with him for now.


“Yes, thank you both for your help.” Giles started to turn away but stopped and turned back to address Spike. “And thank you for what you did to help Buffy defeat Angelus.”


Spike eyed the Watcher suspiciously. “‘S ok, Watcher. Didn’t fancy the world ending m’self.”


“Indeed,” Giles replied. Then in a voice low enough only the vampire could hear, “You know, if you hurt her, you’ll BLOODY WELL BEG with your last breath for the world to end, don’t you?” Giles held Spike’s eyes with his; Spike never wavered from the stare.


“I’ve no doubt, Watcher.”


Giles gave a small nod and turned away to join Willow and Oz in the truck.


Buffy grabbed Spike’s hand and pulled him back down the stairs and into the garden. “Last one to the bed has to eat my pussy!” She yelled as she took off running through the door and towards the stairs, Spike followed quickly on her heels, but had no desire to overtake her, this one time, he was more than happy with second place.

Time line: Mid-May, 1998.
The night following Angel being sent to hell.
Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)


**~**


Buffy ran up the stairs, into the bedroom and quickly shut and locked the door behind her. Laughing, she started throwing off her clothes and kicking off her shoes.


She heard Spike hit the door and yell, “OI! Hard to get your reward with the door locked, luv.”


“Just a minute!” she sing-songed at him.


She turned to light some more candles before letting him in (better to see that hot bod with!) and noticed the empty drawers and her bag on top of the dresser.


God, how SWEET is that? she thought. I didn’t even have to ask him. When did he have time to do that?


Suddenly a warm feeling washed over her as memories of the last twenty-four hours (Was that all it had been? Actually, a bit more than that now) swept through her mind:

Spike holding her on the stone floor as she sobbed for Angel,
Spike defending her honor with Xander,
Spike comforting her with a soft lullaby,
Spike being the perfect gentleman until she had pressed him for more,
Angelus’ words ‘Our William always was the sensitive one’.


Sensitive, a word she would have never associated with Spike, but there it was, proof to the contrary, he could be tender and she loved that, it made her feel safe and warm and . . . God, when did I get all mushy? Didn't I have enough mush with Angel? And look what that got me! Note to self: Mushy, gooey feelings are BAD. No mushing, no goo-ing, no ga-ga, all these things led to badness.


Spike banging on the door pulled her out of her thoughts. “OI, Slayer, you want me to break this door down?”


Buffy walked over to the door and opened it to find him standing outside, also stripped naked. He took her breath away and she would’ve taken his away, if he’d actually needed breath in the first place. They stood for just a moment, not moving, just taking each other in before he moved to her and took her in his arms and started a slow, sensuous kiss.


Their bodies molded together perfectly, their lips testing, tasting, exploring the other’s. He pulled away to look into her eyes, she looked different somehow, he cocked his head just so to consider what it was for a moment and was about to give up when she leaned in and raised up on her toes to whisper in his ear, “Make love to me, William.”


He drew her back to look in her eyes again. She didn’t say “Fuck Me, Spike” or “Eat my Pussy” or “Make me cum” or “Teach me to be slutty." She said, “Make love to me . . . William.” She said it like he was a man, not a monster. Like he was her man, her lover and that she was his.


Never taking his eyes off her, he reached back and closed and locked the door behind him before leaning down to sweep her into his arms, her arms around his neck and her head against his hard chest. He laid her gently on the bed, as if she were made of porcelain and would break with the slightest pressure. Climbing between her legs, his body held up over her by his strong arms, as he lowered his lips to hers in a kiss so gentle and slow and sexy that it sent a warm flush all across her body and chill bumps all over her skin.


He moved from her lips to the tender spot behind her ear and trailed his tongue down her neck to her shoulder where he lingered over her pulse point, sucking and nibbling at it as Buffy let out small moans and her body shuddered under him. Moving his mouth down further with feather kisses, he stopped at one hard nipple to ring it with his cool tongue before moving to the other to do the same, causing Buffy to arch her back and press harder against him.


“Oh, baby, God that feels so good,” she moaned. Her hands were on his back moving lightly over his skin and then to his head to tangle in his soft curls as he continued his exploration of her body with his mouth.


“So beautiful,” he murmured.


Buffy pulled him back up to her mouth. “Please, baby, I need you.”


He took her mouth with his again and dropped his hips to position his cock at the entrance to her wet, heavenly pussy. She tilted her hips and wrapped her legs around his as they slowly moved together, one lifting, one descending, until he filled her completely. They both stopped moving, just letting the feeling of being one, of melding together like they were made for each other, overtake them.


“Buffy,” he murmured in her ear.


“William,” she murmured back as she clung to him, never wanting to let this feeling end.


Slowly, Spike started pulling out and just as gently pushing back in as she matched his slow pace and raised and lowered her hips with his. His mouth was back on hers as they started to increase the pace of their love making.


**~**

The men still watched and waited, through their magicks and through time, as the warriors joined again.


“The time is now,” announced the elder of the men and they began the incantation, a blessing, to create the vessel for the Key which will be created from the joining of the seed of the great warriors as they lay together in love, as the prophecy foretold.


**~**


Buffy and Spike climaxed together, each writhing and moaning in the pleasure that built so slowly but took them so high.


Spike could have sworn he felt his heart beat, felt the need for oxygen, felt heat come from within him for those few seconds as he spilled his seed into Buffy’s hot, tight womanhood. Buffy swore she saw stars dancing around them when she came, pulling Spike into her with all her strength, squeezing him inside with a climax the likes of which she’d never felt before. She wished she could get more oxygen, it strangely seemed that Spike was breathing more than his fair share at that point, which granted, his fair share was none, but he seemed to be taking all the air out of the room.


The thought occurred to her that she was going to pass out from the lack of air and the unbelievable pleasure that was zinging through her entire body. She felt like she’d been hit by 10,000 volts of electricity – not in the “Ole Sparky” way, of course, but in a way that made her whole body hum and every nerve ending light up with pleasure.


“I love you,” escaped her lips before she blacked out.


I love you, Spike was sure he’d heard it, but when he looked at Buffy her eyes were closed, her pulse was slow and steady. She had fainted! He knew he was good, but never imagined he could make the Slayer faint from cumming! He smiled to himself, Big Bad is still in the house!


Spike put his hand over his heart – nothing –of course not, crazy vampire, your heart doesn’t beat any more, but he could have sworn he felt . . . something . . . and he was hot – all over hot, not just hot where he was touching Buffy, but everywhere. Could she warm him so thoroughly? Possible, he guessed. Not bloody likely, but possible.


His mind went back to her words, I love you. Had she meant it for him? Or was she thinking of Angel again? Without her conscious to question, to look into her eyes, he couldn’t be sure. What if it was for him? What if she really loved him? No, certainly it wasn’t possible, she was probably thinking about Angel, the bloody wanker. He’d just have to wait and see if she said it again, then he could tell, if he could just look in her eyes.


Just then, Buffy’s eyes flickered open. “Wha . . . What happened?”


“You fainted, luv.”


“Fainted? I don’t faint! That’s . . . That’s for Victorian ladies whose corsets are pulled too tight! The Slayer doesn’t faint!”


“Guess Big Bad is just too much for you, pet.” Spike smiled at her and ran his tongue along his teeth.


“Oh PLEASE, it’s because you with all your unnecessary breathing sucked all the air out of the room!”


“My what?!”


“Breathing! You were breathing harder than I was. Why do you do that? And . . . and you’re hot! When did you get so hot?” Buffy was looking at him now with concern and confusion.


Spike was just wondering the same thing himself, but he didn’t want to let her think anything was wrong, not after what he just thought he heard her say.


“You make me hot, luv,” he tried to make light of it.


“Hmmm, yeah?” She smiled coyly up at him.


“Bloody right.” And he kissed her, effectively stopping the conversation. Sliding off onto his side, he pulled her to him, her back to his chest, and spooned around her, holding her middle with a strong arm. She snuggled against him and they were both asleep almost immediately.

**~**

Buffy awoke slowly, she’d slept a peaceful, dreamless sleep – Thank God for that small favor, she thought. She was really getting tired of the Demon sucking Angel to hell dream which had been a recurring theme of late.


She rolled over to find Spike, but the bed was empty. “Spike?” No answer.


Maybe he went to the bathroom or something, she thought, and lay awake to wait for him to return. When he hadn’t returned after what she thought was plenty long enough even for her to shower, she got up, pulled on one of his T-shirts and went out in the hall.


“Spike?” she called again and listened. No answer. She concentrated on feeling him with her Spidey senses – nothing.


She walked down to the bathroom and opened the door. Not there. She walked down stairs, he wasn’t by the TV, she explored further and found the kitchen. Opening the fridge she suddenly felt hungry, but the only thing in it was blood. Blood! She had forgotten to ask Willow earlier if they had gotten that for Spike, she would need to pay her for it and thank her for doing that when she saw her tomorrow . . . or today . . . Why didn’t vampires have any clocks in their lairs, anyway? She searched the kitchen. Of course, the clock on the microwave on the counter was flashing 12:00 . . . maybe they didn’t know how to SET the clocks, she mused silently.


Ok, this is not finding Spike. She needed to focus. Where else would he be? She called him again and was again met with silence. A bad feeling started to come over her, a really bad case of déjà vu.


What if all that breathing and hotness was a sign? What if he's lost his soul and gone "Angelus" on me? Had Angel gotten hot like that? God, she couldn’t remember. Why can't I remember that? What if Spike is killing all my friends right now? She asked him to make LOVE to her, she told him she loved him tonight, out loud, with the actual words and everything! Why did I do that? Mush is bad! Hadn't I just established that mush is bad? Maybe that’s what set it off. Oh God, what have I done!?


In a state of near hysteria, Buffy ran back up stairs and pulled on her jeans and shoes. She dug hastily through her bag, retrieved "Mr. Pointy", her trusted stake, and headed back down. She had just started through the heavy curtains covering the door when she ran head long into Spike. They both tumbled to the ground.


“Bloody hell, Slayer! What are you on about now!? Some new beastie in town needin’ your attention all quick like?”


Buffy leapt back up and tackled him, pinning him under her before he could move off the ground where he had sprawled. She held the stake at his heart, pressing dangerously against his chest.


“What the fuck are you doing, Slayer?! Have you lost your fucking mind?” Spike lay still under her, not breathing, not moving, hands outstretched in surrender.


“Where have you been?” she demanded.


“Out.” What the hell is she on about!?


“Out WHERE!? What. Have. You. Done? TELL ME WHAT YOU’VE DONE!” She was close to panic now, tears starting down her face as she held a stake to the heart of yet another vampire that she had trusted.


“Buffy,” Spike kept his voice as calm as he could manage, “I thought you would be peckish, I went to get some food for you, luv. Look! Look by the door where you hit me – I got pizza and some Cokes.” He motioned with one arm towards the now dropped food.


Buffy looked where he indicated and saw the food. "You didn't kill the delivery boy to get it, did you?"


"Nooo, I paid for it with cold, hard cash-money."


Oh God . . . Oh, thank God . . .


"Spike, I . . . I’m sorry, I got so scared when you were gone . . . it was like . . . just like . . . ”


She didn’t have to finish, he knew what it was just like. Angelus. She dropped the stake and collapsed on him, sobbing in relief. He drew her into his arms, just like he’d done that first night, and held her.


“Buffy, it’s ok, luv. Shhh, it’s ok. Everything’s ok, pet. I’m sorry I scared you. Buffy. Buffy, look at me, luv.”


She lifted her face to his, to look into his eyes. Not the cold, mocking eyes of Angelus, but the soft, loving eyes of William, of Spike, looked back at her. “I’m not Angel. I’ll never hurt you.”


Buffy nodded. “Do you promise?” she choked out through her sobs.


“I do, I promise.”


“Please don’t leave me, promise you won’t leave me, Spike. I don’t think I could take it.” Her sobs had subsided; she started wiping her tears from her face with her fingers.


Spike kissed the dampness from her fingers and the remaining tears from her eyes. “Buffy, I promise I won’t hurt you, I could never leave you, pet. I think I love you.”


“I think I love you, too, Spike.” It was barely a whisper from Buffy.


He pulled back to look into her eyes. His head tilted in just that certain way that was so Spike, his brows knit together in a question. “What’d’ you say?”


Buffy raised one hand up to his face, tracing over the scar on his brow with one finger before cupping his face with her hand. “I said, ‘I think I love you, too’, you stupid vampire. I thought vampires had super hearing.”


Spike’s face lit up, a rakish grin spread over his mouth, his eyes danced with the joy of her.


So, it wasn’t Angel she was talking to earlier, after all.

Time line: Mid-May, 1998.
Very late (actually would be early morning hours) on the night following Angel being sent to hell
Buffy is a Junior in High School, (but has been expelled before completing 11th grade.)

**~**

Buffy woke slowly, her head resting against a cool, hard chest. The owner of that hard chest was curled around and over her, as if protecting her from some unseen attacker. Spike. She let out a small sigh and tried to move, but found it difficult with his weight on her. She really needed to pee, otherwise she would have just stayed put. Moving as slowly as possible, she slithered down towards the bottom of the bed and out of Spike’s grasp. He only moaned lightly at the loss, but didn’t awaken.


Pulling on a t-shirt and shorts, she headed out of the bedroom and moved silently down the hallway to the bathroom. She thought momentarily about taking a shower, but thought that it might be more fun to wait for Spike to join her. As she came out of the bathroom and started back down the hallway to the bedroom she heard something.


“Buffy?”


Buffy stopped and listened again, not sure what she had actually heard.


“Buffy, where are you?”


Ok, definitely heard it now, coming from the room opposite the bathroom. She was starting to get another one of those not good déjà vu feelings. It couldn’t be possible! She pushed the memory of her nightmare from her mind. It was Spike, obviously. He had woken up and was just playing a game with her. Buffy turned and moved to the door, taking a deep breath she opened it quickly. She stood with mouth agape as Angel turned around from where he had been lighting candles that lined the mantle in the oversized bedroom.


“Angel?” she asked, taken aback.


“Buffy! Thank God, I thought you wouldn’t come back!” Angel rushed to her, taking her in his arms and pressing a desperate kiss to her mouth.


“NO! How . . . I saw . . . you were gone . . . .” She tried to form a coherent thought, tried to talk, but his lips devoured hers as her mind whirled, the dream – it wasn’t just a nightmare, it was a Slayer dream! Angel explored her mouth with his tongue, hungry, searching, demanding more.


Buffy pushed against his chest, she would not let this happen again! Angel held her tight. She couldn’t get any leverage on him to push him away with her arms so she hooked one leg around his and pulled hard, tumbling them both to the ground. He landed on top of her, but had to let her go to brace himself before hitting the floor.


“NO! ANGEL, STOP!” she screamed at him as she kicked him off of her and scrambled to her feet.


“Buffy, what’s wrong?” Angel looked hurt, confused.


“Angel, stop. Just stop.” Buffy moved out of his reach, he was still sprawled on the floor. “Just stay down, please don’t come near me,” she pleaded with him.


“Buffy, I love you. I need you. Can you ever forgive me?” Angel pleaded back to her.


Buffy took a deep breath to try and clear her thoughts, she needed to get Spike, he’d know what to do; he would help her. She was just too close to this to think clearly.


“Yes, Angel, I can forgive you . . . I know it wasn’t you, it was Angelus.” Even as she said it, Spike’s words echoed in her mind, Liam, Angelus, Angel, they’re all one and the same, luv.


“You know I’ll always love you. I’ll help you, but you have to stay here for now. Please do as I ask,” she continued as she backed towards the open door.


Angel nodded. “Of course, Buffy, whatever you need me to do.”


Buffy backed out into the hallway, praying that Angel would stay put as he said he would, and shut the door behind her as she took off running back to where Spike was. She flung the door to their bedroom open, calling his name. Spike was gone.

**~**


Spike felt her move out of his embrace and heard her leave the bedroom. Probably going to the bathroom, he thought. A wicked plan formed in his sleepy mind, Slayer, Vampire, hot shower . . . mmmm . . . resumption of Slut 101 lessons could ensue. He smiled, stretched and got up slowly to follow her down the hall.


When he neared the bathroom, he heard voices coming from Angel’s bedroom. He stopped and listened.


“Buffy, I love you, I need you. Can you ever forgive me?”


Was that ANGEL? How was that possible?


“Yes, Angel, I can forgive you . . . I know it wasn’t you, it was Angelus.”


And Buffy is . . . forgiving him!? Excusing his actions, after all Spike had shown her? All he told her about who Angel really was?


“You know I’ll always love you. I’ll help you.”


Tears burned the back of Spike’s eyes and threatened to spill down his face; he couldn’t listen to any more. She still loved Angel. Of course she still loved Angel. Of course she would forgive Angel. How could he have thought that she could love him? What was it the scarecrow boy had said? Next best undead thing. That’s how it had always been, hadn’t it – always second best to the great Angelus.


He quickly turned and ran back to their room, gathered the bare necessitates and headed out and down the stairs, pulling on his jeans and t-shirt as he went. Stopping only long enough downstairs to pull on his boots before slipping out of the mansion and into the night.

Time line: Mid-June, 1998.
 35 days following Angel being sent to hell,
33 days since his return and Spike leaving.
Summer between Junior and senior year in High School for Buffy.

**~**

Buffy lay awake in the bed, Spike’s bed, their bed, trying to sleep. It had been thirty-three days since Angel came back and Spike had left and it still hurt just like that first night. That night she had searched the mansion for him, searched the streets around the mansion, but he was gone. Now, all she could do was try to sleep during the long, empty days and spend her nights looking for him, praying that he would come home; praying that he wasn’t dust; praying that she could find him. No one else could fill this aching hole in her heart.


Her friends, even her mom, tried to help her. They would come over, bring food, try to make light conversation, try to get her to go out with them, but she didn’t want to leave in case he came back. She only tore herself away from the mansion to patrol at night and scour the demon bars and sewers for any sign of him. Every demon or vamp she encountered she would question, had they seen Spike? Sometimes one would say they had and give her a new place to look for him, but, so far, none of the leads had panned out.


Angel even helped her for a while, but it was clear his heart wasn’t in it and she asked him to leave. Last she heard, he had gone to L.A. She wondered if Spike could have gone to L.A. and, if Angel did find him, would he even tell her. It was all so frustrating, it made her head ache constantly, which caused her stomach to flip flop at the slightest thing – nausea was her new best friend, it seemed.


She needed sleep. She closed her eyes and tried the meditation technique Giles had taught her recently to get her mind to quiet enough for slumber. When it finally came, it was fitful and full of dreams. This day, her dreams were more unsettling than normal.


She as in a monastery, it was old, centuries old. The monks were in a circle around a symbol on the stone floor chanting something in Latin. One of them looked up and saw her. “Come my child, we have been waiting for you.” He held out a hand, she took it and followed him into a sunlit garden.


Sitting on a stone bench, the monk took both her hands in his and looked at her solemnly. “You are a great warrior,” he began. “Only you and your warrior lover can protect the Key, this is foretold and why you were chosen to be the creators and the protectors of the new vessel for its safekeeping.”


This really wasn’t making a lot of sense. “What kind of Key, what are you talking about?”


The monk smiled patiently and started again. “The Key opens portals to other dimensions, hell dimensions. If the portal is open, your world will cease to exist, it will be swallowed up by the hell dimensions. You must keep the Key safe from the Beast who wants to use it to open the portal.”


Wow, this sounded oddly familiar. Why did the nasties always want to go back to hell? she wondered. Why couldn’t they be more like Spike, happy with the world as it is?


Buffy asked, “Where is this Key?”


The Monk laid a hand on her flat stomach. “It is within you, growing, becoming. It is the joining of two great warrior lovers who have provided the vessel for the safekeeping of the Key.”


“What! What are you saying?!” Buffy was suddenly flushed and pulled away from the Monk.


“You are with child. The child is the vessel for the Key.”


“You put a demon baby in me!?” She was getting angry now.


“No, not a demon, a human, just as human as you and William. It is made of the two great warriors, it is yours, the ancient power of the Key is simply held inside, hidden, as long as you keep it safe from the Beast.”


“But . . . Spike . . . William . . . is not human, he’s a vampire!” Buffy was getting really confused.


“We made him human for those few moments, blessed his seed to come with yours and create the vessel.”


“I’m pregnant and Spike . . . William, is the father and the baby is human and is the Key to opening hell dimensions and we have to keep it safe from the Beast?” Buffy tried to wrap her head around this.


“Exactly.”


“NO!”


Buffy woke up with a start. Her heart was racing, her head pounding and, oh yeah, don’t forget your new best friend, nausea. She ran down the hall to the bathroom as her body tried to vomit up her toes.


When she finished she sat back on the cool tile and tried to make sense of all this. Could it just be a regular nightmare dream, not a Slayer dream? Sure, that could be it. . . just a nightmare, she’d been under a lot of stress lately and not sleeping well and, oh fuck, who are you kidding!? Of course it was a Slayer dream. She knew she'd missed her period, but she had chalked that up to the stress she'd been under. Obviously, that had been a bad assumption.


Spike had knocked her up and now he was gone. Just fucking wonderful! Her life was now complete. She curled up on the cold floor and started to cry, she wasn’t sure how much more the PTB thought she could take, but she was sure that she was on the edge of a complete meltdown.




She didn’t know how long she had lain there, but she had tile marks on her face when she stood up. She’d had Xander and Oz install a mirror in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago, so now she could see how horrible she looked. She washed her face and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed.



Walking downstairs, she found Giles and Willow in the corner of the main room in their new “research central”. Since Buffy had been expelled from school, they had moved most of Giles’ research books here and set up a table where they could work. They looked up when she came down and Willow greeted her with her most cheerful “Hi!”


“Hi Guys, what’s new . . . something I should be working on?” Buffy sincerely hoped not.


“Oh no, nothing to concern yourself with, Buffy.” Giles looked at her, she looked tired, she hadn’t been eating or sleeping properly and he sincerely worried about her mental health, as well. He vowed that if he found Spike, the vampire would be begging for the end of the world very soon.


“Good. I have to go out a few minutes, I may actually, umm . . ." God, how was she going to break this to Giles? To her mother!? She started again, “I have to check something out and I might have something I need you to research when I get back.”


Giles and Willow looked at her worriedly, it was only five in the afternoon, Buffy never left the mansion anymore until after dark.


“Are you ok?” Willow asked. “Do you need some help, you know, cause me - all over the helping.”


“No, I’m fine, I just got a lead on something and I need to check it out. So, I’ll be back in a while.” Buffy headed out the door and started down the street to the bodega on the corner. When she went in, she realized that there was no way she could buy a pregnancy test here – she came in here all the time, she knew these people. She turned around and started walking away from town. There was another little store she rarely went to on the edge of town; it wasn’t very far, she’d get the test there.


After finally deciding on a test and purchasing it, she went in the bathroom of the store and read the directions, peed on the stick and watched the word “Pregnant” come up. Tears stung the back of her eyes and she willed them back. She put the test in her pocket and headed back for the mansion.


She was walking down the alley, head down, eyes glued to the pavement. The sun had just gone down when she felt a familiar tingling on the back of her neck: vampire. She stopped and sighed; she didn’t feel like this right now. Then she heard a familiar baritone. Her head shot up and, sure enough, walking in front of her with his arm draped over a blond girl was Spike. She felt her face flush and her breath quicken. What the fuck is he doing!?


She was on them in a flash, yanking his free arm and whipping both blonds around to face her.


“Slayer!” Spike exclaimed in surprise. He had been so careful, Buffy never came down in this part of town. There were hardly any vamps down here at all, no reason for her to even be here.


“Spike.” Her voice was calm, not belaying her rattled nerves. She looked at the blond on his arm. “Harmony?”


“Buffy,” Harmony addressed her. “What’s your malfunction?”


“What’s my MALFUNCTION?! You do know he’s a VAMPIRE, don’t you Harmony?”


“Yeah, well, that makes two of us, doesn’t it? And just one of you, Slayer,” Harmony retorted.


Harmony was a vampire – God, she must be slipping, how could she not have known that when she came up to them. Because all you could feel was Spike, that’s why, she silently answered her own question.


“Could I have a word with Spike please, in private?” Buffy didn’t really feel like a fight right now.


“No way! If you have something to say to my boyfriend, you can say it in front of me!” Harmony retorted.


Her BOYFRIEND? “Fine.” She turned to stare at him. ”Spike, I’m pregnant. You got me pregnant.” Her words were blunt and to the point.


“What!” Harmony was indignant. “You cheated on me with the SLAYER!? You sick bastard! How could you do that to me!?”







“Shut up you dizzy bint!” Spike pushed Harmony away and turned back to Buffy. “What are you playin’ at, Slayer?”


Buffy folded her arms across her chest. “You. Me. Sex. Pregnant. Even Harmony can understand that, Spike.” She pulled the test out of her pocket and waved it under his nose, as if he could tell anything with her waving it around like that.


“You Bitch!” Harmony started towards Buffy, “Get your own boyfriend! Spikey’s mine!”


When Harmony got in range, Buffy clocked her with a right hook and sent her down on her ass.


“SPIKEY, I think you and I need to have a conversation.” Her eyes pleaded with him to come with her, she could feel the tears threatening.


Spike grabbed the hand that held the pregnancy test and looked at it. “Pregnant,” it said.


“Sorry to bust your bubble, Slayer, but vamps don’t make babies.” He dropped her hand and continued. “Shouldn’t you be talking to your sweet Angel about this – he probably came back all jazzed up and . . .”


Before he could finish, Buffy had slapped him hard across the face. “You son of a bitch!” She couldn’t stop the tears now. “I didn’t sleep with Angel! I have no desire to sleep with Angel!”


Spike rubbed his cheek and looked at her with disdain. “Not what I heard, heard you tell him you LOVE him, you FORGIVE him, you’ll HELP him . . . looks like you HELPED him alright. Did he lose ‘is soul again, Slayer? Did you fuck it out of him again? That why you’re here, need my help putting your rabid dog back in 'is pen?”


Buffy hit him on the jaw with an uppercut as hard as she could, throwing him back against the wall and down onto his ass.


She stood over him, screaming, “You have NO IDEA what you heard! You heard me trying to calm him down, try to make him stay put so I could go get YOU to help me. Do I love him? Yeah, a part of me will always love him, Spike, just like a part of you will always love Dru, but I’m not IN LOVE with him! I’m IN LOVE with YOU, you fucking idiot! And you can believe it or not, WILLIAM, but this is YOUR BABY.”


She threw the pregnancy test in his lap and turned on her heel walking back the way she’d come with as much dignity as she could manage.


When she reached a cross road, she turned and started running as fast as she could; she had to get away. When Buffy stopped running, she was standing on Revello Drive, just a block from her house. Mom, she thought. She ran until she got to the front door. She’d seen her mom over the last weeks, talked to her, tried to explain things to her. Her mom would listen, but always pressed her to come home, she didn’t understand that Buffy couldn’t come home again. Now, all Buffy wanted was exactly that.


Buffy knocked on the door and waited. When her mom finally opened the door, Buffy collapsed in her arms, sobbing.


When she’d calmed down enough to talk, Buffy told her mom everything, everything about the pregnancy, about the prophecy and about seeing Spike and his reaction, about how he hated her. How was she supposed to protect the baby alone? The prophecy said the two warriors would be needed, two warriors in love. Fat lot those prophets knew!


Buffy ate some soup her mother had made and promised that she would make an appointment with a doctor the next day to check on the baby and get started on pre-natal vitamins. Her mom tried to get her to stay the night, but suddenly it just didn’t feel right to be here, she needed to be back at the mansion. She told her mother she loved her and that she’d let her know how the doctor’s visit went and she left, walking determinedly back to what she now considered her home.


When she got back, Willow and Giles were gone. Thank god. She knew she needed to tell them, but she didn’t have the energy for it now. She went in the kitchen and got a Tab before plopping down at the research table. Maybe I can find something about this on my own, she thought. As she started flipping through the first book, “Everything You Wanted to Know About Prophecy’s but Were Afraid to Ask”, she felt him come in. She closed her eyes and swallowed the knot in her throat before looking up.


Tears threatened her again but she blinked them back. He didn’t approach her, but walked over to the fireplace, instead.


“Where’s Angel?” Spike asked as if he was asking about the weather.


“Gone,” Buffy answered simply.


“You just let him go, then?”


“Nooo, I had Willow put a spell on him so that he wouldn’t be able to hurt any girls again and then I told him to leave. Which you would have known if you had stuck around long enough to find out what was going on.” Buffy folded her arms across her chest and met his eyes before continuing, “If you had trusted me and believed in me instead of breaking your promises.”


Spike’s jaw tightened, he forced himself to relax before continuing. “So, you’re really up the duff?”


“Yes.”


“And it’s mine?”


“Yes.”


“How?”


“The usual way.” Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes. “It’s a prophecy thing. Remember that night?”


“Yeah.” She didn’t have to tell him which night; he knew the night she was talking about. Christ, he dreamt about it every night since then.


It was her turn for questions. “Have you fed off anyone?” It was her worst fear.


“No.”


“Has Harmony?”


“No, not while . . .” his voice trailed off. Buffy filled in “you were together?”


He just looked at her and nodded.


“Did you turn her?” she asked, her voice even.


“No, Angelus turned her a while back.”


“Did you sleep with her?” It was her second worst fear.


“Buffy, please . . .” Spike started.


“Spike, it’s a yes or no question. Did. You. Sleep. With. Harmony?”


“Yeah, but . . ."


Buffy put up her hand to stop him. She closed her eyes tight shut to block the tears that were threatening, stupid pregnant woman hormones, she thought.


“You don’t understand,” he started again.


Buffy opened her eyes and glared at him. “Oh, I understand perfectly, Spike.” She started calmly, slowly, but then the words and feelings and disappointment and pain rushed out with each new thought.


“I understand that you didn’t believe me when I told you I loved you.


"I understand that you didn’t trust me enough to stay and find out what was going on.


"I understand that I made a mistake by believing you when you promised you wouldn’t leave me; you wouldn't hurt me.


"I understand if you really loved me, you would have fought for me if you thought Angel was going to take me away from you.


"I understand that I spent the last month combing the sewers, the streets and the bars looking for you, praying that you weren’t dusted, crying myself to sleep while you . . . you were off FUCKING HARMONY and laughing at the stupid, gullible Slayer!


"I UNDERSTAND that I’m pregnant and alone and I puke my guts out every day and . . . and . . .”


Buffy broke down into sobs, she buried her face in her hands and tried to calm down but the reality of her situation hit hard and she couldn’t stop.


Tears flowed down Spike’s face. She didn’t understand, she really didn’t, but how could he argue with her when his actions told a different story? She was right, he ran because he thought she wanted Angel and not him. Why didn’t he fight for her? He felt so hurt when he heard her words, he just had to get away and then he was ashamed for running and couldn’t bring himself to come back and face her, to face THEM.


And the thing with Harmony, it just happened . . . he only ever thought of Buffy when he was with Harmony, but he knew that didn’t make any difference, it didn’t excuse what he had done.


He moved towards her, but as he laid his hand on her shoulder she cuffed him and screamed, “DON’T TOUCH ME! GO! GO BACK TO HER! I’M SURE YOU’LL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER!”


Buffy jumped up from her chair and sprinted past him, up the stairs to the bedroom. The slamming door echoed through the mansion.


Spike walked slowly up the stairs and stood outside the door. He could hear her crying, could feel her pain and he was the cause of it. He'd promised to never leave her, to never hurt her, and what had he done the minute things had gotten hard for him? He'd broken his promises. God, how would she ever trust him again? How could he ask her to? Spike leaned his back against her door and slid down to the floor. Hugging his knees to his chest he laid his forehead against them and cried.

Time Line:
Mid-June, 1998.
 36 days following Angel being sent to hell, 34 days since his return and Spike leaving.

Buffy found Spike with Harmony the night before this chapter and told him about the baby.

Summer between Junior and senior year in High School for Buffy.

**~**

Buffy woke the next day just as tired as she had been the night before. Dragging herself up, she looked at the clock she’d brought from her mom’s, ten a.m. It was early for her. Her internal clock had gotten all off yesterday, she usually slept during the day, but after the argument with Spike last night, she'd cried herself asleep earlier than normal.


Well, she had to make that doctors appointment anyway, find a way to tell Giles and the Scoobies about the baby and get to the research party. Yippee, she thought. She sighed and rose wearily from the bed. Opening the door to head down the hall to the bathroom, she nearly stumbled over Spike who was still asleep, curled in a ball on the floor outside her door.


She just stared at him laying there, he looked like some monster had beat the shit out of him and left him for dead. Monster, thy name is Buffy, she thought sardonically. God, she missed Spike so much.


She absolutely had to figure out some way to turn off the fucking water works currently disguised as her eyes. She couldn’t think of Spike without crying, she couldn’t look at him without crying and, as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t even hate him, but she couldn’t trust him anymore, either. She had to stop being so damn gullible; she’d trusted her instincts twice now and twice she’d been wrong. She had no idea how she could ever trust another man, or vampire, as the case may be, again. Duh! Maybe that’s your problem: Vampire = Evil. She rolled her eyes, if only it were that simple.


Sighing heavily, she bent down and picked him up in her arms. She didn’t remember him being so light. He said he hadn’t fed, but surely he had been getting blood from the butcher, hadn’t he?


He only stirred slightly as she laid him on the bed and started pulling off his duster and his boots. When she was done, she looked at him closely. His jeans and T-shirt, normally pulled tight across his chiseled body, hung loosely now, his eyes, although swollen and red, from crying, she assumed, since they looked just like hers, were sunken and his cheek bones were like knife edges over his hollow cheeks. Obviously, he hadn’t been eating at all. She noticed something barely sticking out of his jeans pocket. She reached down and tugged it out – her pregnancy test, with the word “Pregnant” still clearly visible.


She covered him with a blanket, grabbed her clothes and headed down the hall for a shower, closing the bedroom door behind her.


Going downstairs she double checked the blood in the fridge, it was still good, at least, she thought it was, it was a little hard to tell since – yeeew, blood! She had kept the blood delivery schedule from the butcher shop so that she would be sure to have a fresh supply on hand for Spike when he came home.


Angel had arranged for the expenses of the mansion to be paid for her, along with some spending money. She had never questioned Angel before about where he got his money, but when it became clear that she wanted to stay at the mansion and had no money to pay any of the bills, he stepped up and made arrangements. Apparently, there were demon banks, as opposed to normal banks, she wasn’t sure she knew what the distinction was, but these so-called demon banks helped vampires get their “rightful” family inheritance . . . usually after the vampire killed their own families. Although Darla didn’t have any money when she was turned, Angel’s family did, as did Dru’s and Spike’s, and Angel, being the eldest remaining of the Aurelian clan, now had control of that money. Buffy felt weird taking the money which was obviously ‘blood money’ (duh! Vampires!) but reasoned that it was helping the greater good now so, it couldn’t be all bad.


Buffy took a mug of blood and stuck it in the microwave for thirty seconds. Placing it on a tray, she headed back upstairs. He was going to eat something if she had to hold him down and force it down his stubborn throat.


“Spike.” Buffy shook his shoulder. “Spike, wake up.” She waited. No response. She shook him harder. “Spike!”


Spike moaned and rolled away from her, pulling the blanket tight around himself and over his head. At least he’s not dead, she thought – or more dead – What would a dead vampire look like, anyway? she thought shaking her head –Oh yeah, dust.


“Spike, please wake up and eat something, then you can go back to sleep.”


“Don’ wan’ nuthin’,” came the sleepy reply from under the blanket.


“Spike, quit being a baby and eat something. I can’t handle two babies!” Buffy pleaded with him. “I need your help,” she added quietly to herself. “I need you.”


“Don’ need me, Slayer . . . I’ll only break your heart.” He was still covered up but obviously more awake now. Why did he have to wake up to hear what she didn’t want him to hear!?


“Too late, I already got the T-shirt. Now get up. The pity party's over. You have to help me with YOUR baby.” She pulled the blanket away and tossed it on the floor.


“Bloody Hell!”


Buffy smiled and rolled her eyes. Oh yeah, this was gonna be FUN . . . like a history test you forgot to study for fun. “Sit up and drink this and you can go back to sleep for a while.”


“Not hungry.”


“That’s crap and you know it Spike, now, I’m gonna ask you once more nicely and if you don’t drink this, I’m gonna tie you down and pour it down your throat, and don’t think that I can’t.”


She held the mug out to him, trying not to smell it herself and start her stomach flopping around.


“Promises, promises,” he said way too seductively as he turned over, sat up and took the mug from her.


Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, but the thought of tying him up and forcing him to do anything was like putting a spark to kindling in her gut. He may have been getting his rocks off lately, but she hadn’t. She thought about him with Harmony and effectively poured ice water on the small fire that was starting to burn in her.


“I’m going to call a Scooby meeting for later this afternoon. I need you to be there with me. I have to tell them about the baby and see if they can find any more information about this prophecy.” She spoke to him like he was just a business partner and she needed him to attend a staff meeting. “I also have to make an appointment to see a doctor and get everything checked. If I can find a clinic that’s open late, can you take me?”


“What about your Mum, does she know?”


“Yes, I told her yesterday.” After you rubbed my face in your new girlfriend, she thought.


“She know I’m the father?”


“Yes.”


He just nodded, finished the mug of blood, handed it back to her and lay back down on the bed, turning away from her. Apparently, she thought, this conversation is over. She picked up the blanket from the floor and threw it over him again before leaving the room. Oh yeah, WAY too much fun.


**~**


For fear of Spike’s un-life, Buffy had him sitting on a bookcase behind her, so she could keep herself between the Scoobies and him, as everyone gathered for the meeting she called. Willow and Oz sat on one side of the table, Xander and Cordelia on the other. Giles was on the other end opposite her. They all eyed Spike suspiciously but he couldn’t make eye contact with any of them, looking instead at a very interesting stain on the floor.


She’d thought about this all day and still was unsure how to start this conversation. Everyone, except Spike, looked at her expectantly; she took a deep breath, stood up and started.


“Ok, I had a Slayer dream the other night and it seems that Spike and I are pawns in some type of Prophecy. According to the dream, there is a Key that opens portals to hell dimensions and there is a Beast that is after it and wants to use it to open said portals, yada, yada, end of the world, yada, yada.” She waved her hands around on the "yada, yada's" for effect.


So far, so good, she took another deep breath and continued.


“According to the prophecy, only the two warrior lovers can protect the Key from the Beast. Apparently, that’s me and Spike.”


“Why not Angel? Are you sure it’s Spike? Was the dream more specific than ‘Two Warrior Lovers’?” Giles asked.


“Yes, the dream was very specific, it's William or Spike, whichever.” She waved her hands around to demonstrate William and Spike were the same. Even though he was two feet behind her, she could feel Spike stiffen at the mention of Angel and wished Giles hadn’t asked that. Why do I feel bad for him after what he did? she sighed to herself.


“And where is this Key you are to protect?” Giles addressed her again.


And that was the rub, wasn’t it? Buffy pulled the pregnancy test stick out of her pocket and slid it down the table to Giles, waiting for him to register what it was. “Good Lord.” Giles looked back up to her, his eyes darting between Buffy and Spike.


Everyone else was trying to see what it was, what it said and started asking questions. Buffy held up her hand to stop them. “I’m pregnant, by Spike," she summed up. "The baby is the vessel that hides the Key, we have to protect the baby from the Beast.”


The room exploded, or at least it felt like that to Buffy. She instinctively backed up away from the group that was throwing questions and accusations at her and backed right into Spike, who had stood up just as she got to him. He put his hands on her shoulders to steady her as her friends kept firing questions at them.


Finally, Giles rescued her by quieting the others.


“How?” he asked when everyone else was quiet.


“The usual way.” Buffy tossed her now pat answer at him before she continued. “Apparently, the monks did some kind of mojo on Spike and he was UN-undead for a while at just the right, um, time.”


“What do you mean, UN-undead?” Xander threw a dagger stare at Spike.


“I mean he was alive, ALL of him was alive.”


“So the baby is . . ." Giles questioned.


“Mine and Spike’s. It’s a real human baby, apparently, as long as we keep it safe from the Beast, it will just be a baby and, I guess a kid . . . and a teenager . . .”


The rest of Buffy’s life passed in front of her eyes. How was she supposed to raise a kid, what about the rest of her life? Short as it is predicted to be, she really hadn’t planned on it being spent as a mom. Tears started to well in her eyes again and she closed them to hold the flood back, but it didn’t help, they spilled out the corners.


Spike turned her around to face him and drew her into his arms. She didn’t fight him, she was so tired of fighting, so tired of crying – she clung to him, burying her face against his chest.


“And Spike, do you intend to help with this endeavor?” Giles addressed the father of her baby.


“I’ll protect 'em both with m’ life.” Spike met his eyes now, looking over the top of Buffy’s head as he held her against him.


“Didn’t see you with all the protecting the last few weeks,” Xander pointed out.


“I made a mistake. I won’t make it again. Long as she’ll have me, I’ll be here for her and the sprog.” He answered Xander, but kept his eyes locked on Giles. He knew it was the Watcher he needed to convince, not the Boy.


After a long pause, Giles spoke. “Indeed. Well then, I guess we have some research to do to try and find out more about this prophecy and the Beast so we know what we must do to defeat it.” Giles continued. “Did your dream tell you when the Beast will appear, Buffy, or what form it will take?”


Buffy took a deep breath and turned around to face the group, shaking her head no. Spike kept his hands on her, she leaned back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her middle.


“What do you need me to do, Watcher?” Spike addressed Giles.


“Well, I think it would be wise for you to take over patrols for Buffy for starters.” Giles looked at the pair.


“Excuse me! Pregnant here, not invalid! I can still patrol. Been patrolling for the last month in the same condition!” Buffy couldn’t believe this!


“Buffy, it would only take one hard kick to your stomach to hurt the baby. How many times a week do you get kicked or hit in the stomach?” Giles reasoned with her.


“So Willow can do a protection spell on the baby, right Will?” she countered, looking hopefully at her friend and then back to Giles. “I’m not gonna sit around here like a slug for nine months! Giles, you know I can’t do that.”


Giles removed his glasses for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight to clean them. “Fine, Willow will put a protection spell on the baby.” Buffy brightened, but Giles wasn't done. “But Spike will accompany you on patrols and, as you get further along, Spike will take over the patrols all together. Please don’t argue with me on this Buffy.”


Spike gave her a small squeeze and Buffy nodded in agreement.


“In addition, you will need to make some arrangements for completing high school, seeing as you’ve not only been expelled but are now also pregnant . . . I should think that perhaps a home schooling type of arrangement would be best for you,” Giles continued. “Perhaps your mother, Willow and I can assist you with your studies . . .”


Spike cut him off. “I can do it.”


Everyone looked at Spike like he had two heads. “What, you don’t think a century old vamp knows anything about history and literature and the English language? May need Red to help with some of the new math, though,” he admitted.


“Fine then,” Giles agreed. “I suggest we get to researching now and see what we can find about this prophecy that may help us.”

Time line:
Mid-June, 1998.
36 days following Angel being sent to hell, 34 days since his return and Spike leaving. 1 day since she found Spike and he came back. The same day she informed the Scoobies of her pregnancy.
Summer between Junior and senior year in High School for Buffy.

**~**

Everyone sat around the new “research central” area of the mansion going through the various books on prophecies. Even Spike was reading, but he had moved away from the main group who sat at the table, instead choosing to sit on the couch by the TV. Every once in a while, Buffy could feel his eyes on her but, when she looked up, he'd drop his gaze back down to his book.


Buffy had read the same passage in the latest “Prophecies for Dummies” book she had in front of her five times and still had no idea what it said. She hated research – she needed to do something. She sighed, just a few more minutes and the sun will be down and I can go patrol . . . or WE can go patrol, she looked at Spike, he seemed immersed in his book now.


She dropped her book on the table and headed to the kitchen for a soda. Willow followed her in. “Howya doin’?”


Buffy smiled a tired smile at her friend. “Good. I’m good. You know, poster child for unwed teenage prodigal pregnancy good.”


“Anything I can do? I mean, other than the protection spell, which, you know, all done doing that. You know if you need to talk, I’m always here.” Willow gave her a wan smile back.


“I know Will, I love you.” Buffy gave her best friend a hug.


“I love you too, Buffy – we all do, you know that.”


“Yeah.”


“Including Spike,” Willow added.


Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah, he’s all with the lovin! More like lovin’ n leavin’! Who’d a thunk it – Spike’s gone country.”


“Buffy, trust me, he loves you. He came back. Can’t you see how he looks at you? He can’t take his eyes off you,” Willow admonished her friend.


Buffy felt the familiar tears starting and shook her head. “God damn hormones, they go straight to your eyes!” She rolled her eyes and wiped at them with her fingers as she turned away from her friend and retrieved the soda she’d come in for.


“Com’on, better get back to that party out there . . .” Buffy brushed past Willow and put an end to the conversation that she didn’t feel like having.


The second the sun dropped low enough for Spike to venture out safely, Buffy dropped her book on the table and stood up. Looking at Spike she said, “Com’on, Patrol Buddy, let’s go. Evil awaits.” She grabbed his hand on her way past because he hadn’t gotten up quickly enough to suit her and dragged him behind her.


“See you guys tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder to her friends who were still sitting around the table.


Spike broke the silence as they walked toward Restfield Cemetery. “Did you make an appointment with the doctor?”


“Yes, tomorrow night at seven, it should be dark enough by then for you to take me, right?” Buffy knew that it would be, but thought she’d give him an out if he wanted it.


“Yeah, be fine.”


“When we get back tonight, I think we need to have a talk about . . .” about what? Love? Trust? The baby? “everything,” she finally settled on.


“Yeah,” Spike agreed.


They continued on in silence.


It didn’t take long after they entered the cemetery to run into a group of four vamps, one was a fledge and went down easily; the other three were older and put up a good fight. God, I love a good fight! Buffy thought as she dusted the last one. God, I love to watch Buffy fight! Spike thought as he turned to see her dust the last vamp just after he dusted the one he was fighting.


Buffy’s whole body was buzzing from the adrenaline of the fight and she suddenly wanted nothing more than to feel Spike on top of her, inside her. She’d been over a month with nothing but memories and hand jobs and, with the added high of the fight, she couldn’t contain it any longer. Buffy pushed Spike hard against a tombstone and, with her face barely an inch away from his, demanded, “FUCK ME.”


“Now? Here?” Spike looked around at the open cemetery.


“What’s the matter, Big Bad afraid of a little cemetery?” Buffy teased as she dropped her hands to his belt and started to pull on it.


“What about that talk you wanted?” Spike stilled her hands with his.


“Talk later, fuck now.” She shrugged his hands off and started to undo the top button of his jeans.


“It’s too open, here, luv. To easy to be ambushed by nasties. You might get hurt.”


“So do your job and protect me,” she said, challenging him.


"What about the sprog?" Spike asked, stilling her hands again with his. He'd never wanted a woman more than he wanted Buffy right now, but he couldn't let himself give into his desire if there were a chance of harming the miracle growing within her.


"Protection spell. The baby's safe. Fuck me!" Buffy demanded again. Pulling her hands free of his grasp, she laid one palm against his growing erection and rubbed up and down its length, pressing hard through his jeans.


Spike looked around quickly – a crypt, that'd do. He picked her up, her arms around his neck, her legs wrapped around his hips, their mouths fused in a hungry kiss and headed for the crypt. Kicking the door open and stepping inside, he sat her down on the sarcophagus in the center of the room as he finished unzipping his jeans and kicking them off while she shimmied out of her own clothes and laid back, spreading her legs, to give him room to join her. As he climbed up between her legs she pulled his t-shirt over his head before he dropped his mouth to hers and devoured her lips in another hungry kiss.


“Fuck me,” she whispered into his mouth as she pulled away for a breath. “Fuck me, now.”


Spike lifted her legs up over his shoulders and rubbed his cock between the folds of her wet cunt.


“NOW!” she demanded.


He pulled back and thrust hard and deep into her hot, tight slit as she gasped and raised her hips up to meet him. She brought her hands to her hard nipples and started to twist and pull them as he thrust hard into her pussy.


“HARDER!” she demanded and he did, her back arched as much as it could in this position as she neared climax, she took one hand and slid between them to increase the pressure on her aching clit. With every thrust Spike made into her, thousands of electrical shocks started at her clit and traveled down her quivering legs, curling her toes.


“HARDER!” she demanded again and he fucked her harder still, harder than he thought possible, until her screams of pleasure echoed off the walls of the crypt and her body convulsed in release. Her tight cunt tightened even more around his rod and he still kept thrusting into her, carrying her climax as far as he could take her. He felt her orgasm ending and changed to short strokes, building to his own climax, when suddenly her foot was on his chest and she kicked him off and down onto the floor below.


“Bloody hell, woman!”


Buffy was down on him in a second, one strong hand around the base of his erection, the other pressing on the soft skin between his balls and his anus, stopping his ejaculation. “I’m not done with this yet, you don’t get to come until I say so.”


Christ, he thought, where the hell did she learn that little trick? Not as all innocent as she would have you think, mate.


“CHANGE!” she demanded. “I want the demon.”


“Buffy . . .”


“Change!” she demanded again and slapped his face, splitting his lip.


“Change!” she drew her hand back again, but Spike caught it before she could connect and his face morphed into his demon self.


“Better,” she said as she turned around on all fours and put her ass towards him. “Fuck me in the ass! And don’t you dare change back.”


“Buffy . . .” Spike started again, his face morphing back to human.


“God damn it, Spike!” she whorled on him and hit him with a closed fist on his jaw. “I WANT THE DEMON!”


Spike morphed back into his demon and growled at her, grabbing her hips in his hands as he knelt behind her. He spread her cheeks to reveal her tight bung hole and swirled his tongue around it before taking one finger and pulling her cum from her pussy to her ass, he slipped the finger inside, turning it around, slicking her hole. He rubbed his rock hard cock along the folds of her pussy, covering it with more of her juices before pressing the head of it into her ass.


On all fours, Buffy gasped when he entered her, back arching and head tilting back. She concentrated on relaxing so he could press in further. When Spike felt her relax, he pushed harder, Buffy moaned and thrust herself back against him, taking him in all the way to the hilt.


“DOWN!” he growled at her and pushed between her shoulder blades, she fell down from her hands to her elbows. Spike grabbed a cold, partially burnt candle from the floor next to them and shoved it in her pussy. The rough edges from where the candle wax had dripped down the shaft scrapping on her tender flesh. She let out a small squeal and brought one of her hands back to replace his on the candle.


Spike started pulling his cock back out of her ass, starting a slow rhythm and she matched it with the candle in her cunt.


“FASTER!” she demanded, and he obliged. He fucked her ass and she fucked her pussy with the rough candle as they increased the tempo.


“Harder!” she demanded, “Fuck me harder!” and Spike did. Buffy felt the orgasm building, she kept demanding, “Harder!, Faster! Fuck me!” from the demon and the demon did as she demanded.


Buffy’s knees and elbows dug into the hard concrete of the floor, her face rubbed on the cold surface as Spike rode her. The candle and his cock pounding her in a dizzying rhythm of pleasure and pain, ecstasy and agony mingled in her as she felt her climax building.


“BITE ME!” she demanded of the demon. “NOW!”


Spike couldn’t stop himself, he had lost control of the demon, it was under her control now.


He thrust hard into her one last time and leaned forward to clamp his razor sharp fangs down on her neck, right at the pulse point.


Buffy screamed, the pain/pleasure scales tipped momentarily towards pain but, then, just as quickly back again, as she felt her blood flow into Spike’s mouth, felt him suck hungrily at her. Her body exploded in climax and she pressed her ass hard against him and squeezed her internal muscles around him and the candle, bucking and writhing under him she screamed at him to CUM before she lost all conscious thought and let herself fall off that cliff with a soul piercing scream.


Spike couldn’t believe how primal she was tonight. Was this the same woman that he’d made tender love to the last time they were together? That he made a baby with? She wanted the demon! She wanted the demon fucking her, biting her! Her blood was like heaven in his mouth as he sucked hungrily at her neck. She now not only had the man, but she had the demon under her control and he didn’t care.


He had started to cum before she even said it, there was no way he could have stopped it, but her words made his orgasm that much harder, that much longer. He felt her tighten even further around him, heard the candle in her pussy crack under her pressure, felt her whole body writhe and convulse under him. His own roar reverberated through the crypt, joining her screams of release that seemed to be both never ending and not nearly long enough.


Spike pulled slowly out of her, his human side back in control, licking the blood droplets that still formed where his fangs had entered her neck. Buffy let the candle fall out of her ravaged pussy before collapsing onto her stomach, her breath still ragged from her climax. Spike tried not to fall on top of her as he tumbled to the ground with her.


“God, Buffy . . ." he reached out to put an arm around her, to pull her to him, when she suddenly bolted up from the floor, pacing around the crypt picking up her clothes, then her shoes and tugging them back on as quickly as she could. “Where’s the fire, luv?”


Buffy didn’t look at him, she picked up her stake and slid it into the waistband of her pants at her back and started for the door.


“I’m going to mom’s,” she said flatly. “I’ll see you later.” And she was gone, leaving Spike exhausted and confused on the floor.


She heard him say, “What the bloody hell?” before she took off running towards Revello Drive.


Spike followed her scent to her house, or, her mom’s house, he corrected himself, just to make sure that she was ok. From the street, he could hear her talking to her mom, but couldn’t make out the words. Knowing that she would be pissed if she caught him following her, he turned around and headed back to the mansion to wait for her to return.

Time Line:
Mid-June, 1998.

36 days after Spike helped Buffy send Angel to hell and close the portal, same night as their first Patrol together.

Summer between Junior and senior year in High School for Buffy. 

**~**

Spike was sitting on the couch in his new “research spot” when Buffy walked in about an hour and a half later. He never looked up from the book he was reading and she didn't say anything to him, just headed straight for the stairs.


Buffy just wanted a long, hot bath. She ached all over, including places that she didn’t like to think about aching. She was glad that Spike ignored her when she came in, she so didn’t feel like talking to him right now. God, what could she possibly say to him after how she acted tonight?


Buffy grabbed her PJ’s from her room, (his room? their room? she thought idly, who’s room is it anyway?), before heading to the bath and hot, sudsy goodness. She loved the upstairs bathroom, the tub was a huge old cast iron monster that she could practically swim laps in. A shower head had been added later and, while Spike was away, she upgraded the shower to be both a rainshower and a hand-held massaging shower, like the one at her mom’s house, to help her through those long days when he was gone. Right now she just wanted a long, hot soak, though.


She opened the bathroom door and stopped short. Every surface was covered in white candles, large pillars, thin tapers and everything size in between greeted her with dancing flames that made the room glow in the warm light. The tub was filled and still steaming, the smell of jasmine assaulted her and she closed her eyes and breathed the heavenly fragrance deep in her lungs. For the hundredth time that day, tears stung her eyes. God damn, Spike, she thought. He was supposed to be hurt and mad, not fix a romantic, relaxing bath, after what I've done to him, how I used him and left him alone in the cold. She sighed and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her, she slipped out of her grimy clothes and slid down into the hot water with a sigh.


She leaned back, stretching her legs out and scrunched down so just her face was above the water – her feet barely touched the other end of the tub this way and she felt like she was floating on a cloud, she closed her eyes and just drifted away from the world. She didn’t hear the bathroom door open or Spike step inside. He stood and watched her for a long time, thinking how beautiful she was, how amazing she was. He knew why she did what she did earlier, she wanted him to feel as hurt as he had hurt her, and it worked, he was hurt and it made him regret his cowardice that night when Angel came back even more. He’d never considered himself a coward, but in the face of thinking he had lost her to Angel, just as he knew he'd lost Dru to Angel, he simply couldn’t face it.


Buffy stirred and looked up at him, her vamp senses finally rousing her from her reverie by tingling up her spine. He was undressed and leaning against the door, just looking at her. She sat up and extended a hand to him, silently inviting him to join her. He slid in behind her, stretching his strong legs down alongside hers, pulling her back to his chest and resting his head on her shoulder as she leaned back into him. He wrapped his arms around her, resting one hand on her flat belly he started a soft thrumming with one finger just above her belly button.


“Feel that?” he asked.


“Uh-huh.”


“That’s our baby,” he informed her.


“You can feel its heart beat already?” she asked softly.


“Hear it.”


“Mom wants us to stop by for a late dinner after I go to the doctor tomorrow, you up for that?” Buffy figured she’d start with an easy question first.


“Sure, luv.”


"You don't have to eat, of course . . ." Buffy offered.


"I eat."


Buffy furrowed her brows. "You eat . . . people food?"


"Yeah, luv. People. People food. Both," Spike smiled. "Just because I don't live off it, doesn't mean I can't enjoy a bit of . . . 'people food'."


"But Angel never . . ." she started and stopped. Then with a sigh, "You're not Angel."


Spike raised his eyebrows and tilted his head in a small shrug, but didn't say any more.


They sat in silence for a time, Spike kept a finger thrumming on her flat stomach as he closed his eyes to listen to the heartbeat of the baby.


“Spike?”


“Yeah, luv?”


“Why did you leave me? I really need to understand,” Buffy asked softly. God, would these tears ever stop!


How did he answer that? Twenty years being trained by Angel made him a coward around him? How could he ever make her understand the things that Angel had done to him to make him react that way? She didn’t need to hear that. Didn’t need to hear how Angel had made sure Spike always knew his place, and it was always UNDER Angel. He sighed.


After no answer for several moments, Buffy prodded further, “Spike, please tell me. Is it me? Am I not good enough?”


His answer was immediate and definite. “No. It is absolutely NOT you, Buffy. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever known.”


How could he make her understand? “I heard you forgiving him, telling him you would always love him. You’ve loved him longer than you’ve even known me, pet. I thought . . . I thought I had lost you. My heart ached for you but . . . Angel . . . Buffy, I’ve never been able to win against Angel. He’s always been . . .” his voice got softer as he admitted his fear of Angel, he wasn't sure how to even finish that sentence.


“Cruel? Merciless? Ruthless?” Buffy filled in for him.


“For starters.” Spike closed his eyes and tilted his head, resting it against hers. They sat in silence for a few minutes before he continued. “I was a coward. I ran away like a coward and then I couldn’t face you for the shame of it, so I stayed away. But I never stopped thinking about you or loving you.”


“You forgot, together we defeated Angelus. You just needed to trust me, like I trusted you.” She still had a hard time calling Angel’s evil side anything but Angelus, despite Spike’s assertion that they were one and the same.


“Yeah.” Spike really didn’t know what else to say.


“You hurt me,” she stated solemnly. “A lot.”


“I’m so sorry, luv. If I could take it back, I would. I never want to hurt you.”


“You were hurt, too,” she volunteered. “I didn't realize how much.”


Spike nodded his head, he had a lump in this throat and didn’t think he could speak just then.


They sat in silence a while longer until Buffy spoke again. “Did you make love to her?” her voice was barely a whisper. She closed her eyes and braced herself to wait for the answer.


He knew what she meant, she didn’t mean did he fuck Harmony, he’d already admitted to that, she wanted to know if he made sweet, tender love to her.


“No, never.”


“Do you love her?” Buffy’s eyes were still closed, trying in vain to hold back the tears.


“No.” Spike’s voice was deep with emotion.


“Why then?”


“She was . . .” Spike’s voice broke and he couldn’t finish.


“Convenient?” Buffy supplied.


“a distraction,” he offered.


“From what?”


Spike sighed heavily. “From the constant ache in my heart, from thoughts of you filling my every bloody waking and sleeping moment.”


“Did it work?” Buffy opened her eyes and turned her head so her mouth was next to his ear. She placed one hand over the one Spike had on her abdomen. He was still softly strumming there in time with the baby’s heartbeat.


“Never did.”


“I’m sorry about what happened tonight, in the crypt.” Tears flowed freely now from her eyes. “I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me; leave you like you left me. I didn’t know how much you’d already been hurt. Can you forgive me?”


“I will, on two conditions.”


Buffy pulled back and looked at him warily. With one hand on his cheek, she turned his face to see into his eyes. “And those conditions would be?”


“That you forgive me and believe that I’ll never let you down again.”


“And?” she prompted.


Spike’s eyes started to gleam at the memory of the raw, primal sex they’d had in the crypt earlier.


“That you give me a repeat performance of tonight sometime, luv. But let me take care of the surprise twist at the end.” He smiled at her, his eyes flashed wide as he ran his tongue along his teeth, lustily.


Buffy laughed. It felt like the first time she’d laughed in weeks, it probably was. Tears still flowed down her cheeks, she'd given up trying to stop them.


Her mouth was close to his now. “Deal,” she whispered, before capturing his lips in a kiss. She felt his cock harden against her back as they kissed a slow, languorous kiss and she felt her own arousal stir deep within. “I love you, Spike.”


Spike closed his eyes, his jaw clenched in an attempt to hold back his emotions as tears burnt the back of his eyes. When he opened his eyes to look at her, they glistened in the candle light. “I love you and our baby more than unlife itself, Buffy.”


Buffy turned in his lap, he slid away from the edge of the tub so her legs would fit behind him as she wrapped herself around him and moved into his embrace, his erection held tightly between them, they went back to exploring each other’s mouths with their tongues as if it were their first kiss. Her arms around his neck, fingers tugging and running through his curls. His hands ran light touches down her spine and then made small circles all over her back as they kissed, causing chill bumps to form all over her body and her pussy to ache again, in need of him.


“I want you,” she murmured into his mouth. “I need you in me.”


Spike lifted her up by her hips and she guided his hard cock into her slick pussy as he lowered her back down. She winced slightly from the soreness caused by the earlier encounter with the candle and he stopped. After a moment, she nodded and he let her down the rest of the way to take him in completely. Buffy slowly started to move on him, a slow rhythm that matched the languid pace of their kisses. He moved one hand between them to draw circles around her hard nipples, then roll and pinch them in his wet fingers, her tempo increased as he continued fondling her sensitive breasts.


“Talk to me, Spike.” She loved to hear his voice during their love making, sometimes hard and demanding, other times soft and loving. She loved it all.


Tonight, he spoke slowly, his voice like golden honey dripping from his tongue. “Buffy, God, you’re gorgeous, so bloody beautiful.


"I love you so much.


"You feel so good, so tight, so hot.


"You’re always so wet for me, Buffy . . . do you know how that makes me feel?”


Buffy internal muscles tightened around him as he spoke, he gasped and the words began flowing faster, “Jesus . . Buffy, God, baby, oh sweet Jesus, Buffy!”


She had increased the tempo now so that she was pounding down on him in hard, fast strokes, she arched her back, lifting her nipples up to him. He took one in his mouth and sucked it against his teeth as he slid one hand between them so a finger would hit it on her clit on the down strokes. She gasped at the unexpected sensation the first time she hit it, then increased her speed, thrusting down on him hard. “Spike, God, baby, only you, only you, baby, oh God, God, Spike . . .”


Buffy’s body began to shudder, her inner muscles tightened hard around Spike’s cock.


“Scream for me, Buffy . . . God, I love to hear you scream, let it go, baby, don’t hold back.”


The scream started somewhere deep in her gut, escaping her throat. She threw her head back as her orgasm overtook her, sending her over the precipice of pleasure. Hearing her scream, Spike came with a roar of his own, shooting his cum deep into her as her muscles convulsed around him, milking every drop from him.


As they came down from their climax, Buffy leaned her forehead against his, still breathing hard, small quakes of pleasure still rippling through her body as she clung to him, holding him tight in her and against her, never wanting to let him go.

Time line:
Chapter spans
From: Late June, 1998, 38 days after Spike helped Buffy send Angel to hell

To:  January, 1999. Buffy’s about 8 months pregnant and doing home study for her senior classes

**~**


The next night, after an uneventful visit with the doctor, who gave Buffy pre-natal vitamins and lots of reading material, including planned parenthood pamphlets, which she thought was ironic, because, obviously SHE wasn’t the one in charge of this plan at all, the couple went to her mom’s house to report on the doctor visit and have a late dinner.


As they finished dinner, Buffy’s mom began the third degree. Buffy knew it would be coming, she just hoped that it would wait a while . . . maybe a year or ten, even.


“So, Spike, what do you do for a living? I’m guessing it’s not sing in a rock band,” Joyce started.


“I, umm, have family money,” he offered, omitting the fact that he didn’t actually have it, that Angel had the actual control of it.


“I see,” Joyce continued. “And you slay vampires with Buffy?”


“And demons, yes Ma’am.” Spike suddenly felt like he was eight years old and had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar.


“But you’re a vampire, like Angel?” Joyce was still having a bit of a hard time with the idea of this.


Spike stiffened in his seat and retorted a little more strongly than he meant to, “Not like Angel.” Then, more calmly, “But, yes, vampire.”


“So, no sunlight, immortal?” Joyce continued the questioning.


“That’s right. Don’t much fancy wooden stakes or axes, either,” he offered.


“And how long to you intend to stay with Buffy, and the baby?”


“MOM!” Buffy started, but Spike put his hand on hers to silence her.


“As long as she’ll have me. Forever.” Spike met Joyce’s eyes to emphasize the word forever.


“Buffy’s not immortal, she won’t be around forever; she won’t be young forever. What will you do when she’s eighty, will you still love her then?” Joyce continued to push.


“I love everything about Buffy. I love what she is, what she does and how she tries. I love her spirit, her strength, her kindness, and her determination. Believe me when I tell you that when I love someone, I stand by them as long as they let me; I’ll stand by her until she’s dust, then I’ll lay on her grave and join her.”


Buffy stared at Spike, tears welling in her eyes. “Spike.”


Spike turned to face Buffy now. “It’s true, luv.” He wiped a tear that had started to fall from her eye with the pad of this thumb before turning back to Joyce.


Joyce just nodded before continuing. “Is ‘Spike’ a family name?”


Buffy smiled and rolled her eyes. Spike answered her mom. “More of a nick-name really, given name’s ‘William’.”


“I see. And do you have a last name?” Joyce asked.


Bloody comma The, Buffy thought to herself and suppressed a grin.


“Weckerly,” Spike replied.


Buffy looked at him, mouth agape. How could he not have told her his last name? Duh, you never asked! she thought to herself, Weckerly, William Weckerly, it sounded . . . nice.


Joyce nodded and continued her questioning, “You agree that it’s important that Buffy completes high school and attends college, don’t you, William?”


“I do. I intend to help her with her studies to graduate high school and could possibly assist even with her college courses.”


As Spike answered her mom, Buffy looked at him, had his accent suddenly changed? Softened? Gotten more “Gilesey”?


“Hey Mr. I-can-talk-like-Giles, what’s with the formal wear?” Buffy addressed Spike, looking at him like she didn’t know who he was.


Suddenly self conscious, Spike slipped back into a thick Cockney, “’S nuthin’, just saying, reckon a century old Vamp can help with the three R’s, ‘s all.”


Buffy lifted her eyebrows and just said “Uh-huh” but knew there was something more there that he was hiding.


“William, could you help me clear these dishes to the kitchen, please?” Joyce addressed him again.


“Mom? He’s company . . . I’ll help you.” She started to rise, but Spike put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.


“Not comp’ny, luv. Family. Be glad to.” He rose to follow Joyce into the kitchen, leaving Buffy alone.


Once they were alone in the kitchen, Joyce took the dishes he brought in and placed them in the sink before turning to him again. “What do you intend to do about Buffy?”


Spike shook his head. “Don’ follow your meanin’.”


“Do you intend to marry her?” Joyce clarified.


“Marry her?” Spike considered this a moment. “Well, much as I’d love to, don’t really have any papers for a legal hitchin’, wouldn’t really be possible.”


“But a vampire fathering a child, that’s possible?” Joyce countered.


Spike tilted his head to the side to consider her. “Point,” he agreed. “I’ll see what can be done.”


Joyce nodded. “Would you like some hot chocolate before you go? Buffy always loves it.”


“Ooo, with the little marshmallows?” he asked.


“Yeah, I think I have some of those. Here, give me a hand . . .” and together they fell into a camaraderie of preparing the warm chocolaty goodness.


**~**


Life fell into an easy rhythm, Spike and Buffy would patrol most nights together and make love when they got home – or, sometimes, before they got home or, more aptly, both. The mansion continued to be “Scooby Central” and Spike and Buffy would help with research when there was a need. It seemed like someone from the Scoobies was always there, no matter the hour, so Spike installed sound proofing in their bedroom for privacy and, after an unfortunate flashing incident involving Spike and Willow (Willow being the wide-eyed flashee, of course) there was an understanding that no one except Buffy and Spike were allowed upstairs for any reason.


Kendra’s replacement, Faith, showed up and the Council sent a Watcher for her, Wesley. Buffy didn’t really like Faith or Wesley too much. Faith seemed a little bit overzealous to her and Wesley was just a BIG bit too ‘Council’, but she was glad there was another Slayer that would be able to take over patrols completely when Buffy was too far along to do it.


Buffy’s mom had gotten Buffy approved for home-study and, as long as she made up what she missed at the end of last year and passed all her senior year classes, would be able to graduate with her friends. Spike, true to his word, helped with her studies and pushed her to stay focused on them when she wanted to ditch. Buffy was more than a little surprised to find out how much Spike actually knew about most of her subjects, “sodding new math” as he called it, notwithstanding.


After the craziness of the “Band Candy” incident, Faith, Buffy and Spike tracked down Mr. Trick and got the jump on the Mayor’s planned ascension, effectively putting a halt to it before it really even got underway.


**~**


November, 1998:


Spike sauntered sleepily downstairs, his new PJ bottoms slung low on his hips, chest bare. Buffy had insisted he wear them whenever he left the bedroom if he wasn’t going to actually get dressed. Despite the new rule about who could go upstairs, Buffy had no desire for another incident like the one that left Willow saying “Wow! Buffy! Wow!” Buffy was well aware of the “Wow!” factor that was Spike’s body, she didn’t need all her friends that intimately acquainted with it, too.


At the bottom of the stairs Spike encountered the prone and dismantled body of their vacuum cleaner. Attachments were strewn across the floor, the hose laid haphazardly to one side, giving it the appearance that the machine had died a slow and horrible death.


From the new workout room, which they’d set up just off the main room, he could hear music blaring. He walked over to the door to find Buffy punching and kicking the heavy bag that hung in the middle of the room, singing at the top of her lungs along with the B-52’s:

The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Love Shack baby! Love Shack bay-bee!
(Love Shack...Love Shack...)
Love Shack, that's where it's at!

Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
I can't hear you
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang on the door
Bang bang on the door baby


{{
You can hear the song by clicking on the link below, then clicking the “play” button near the top of the page that opens in the yellow area:

Love Shack - The B-52's
}}


At every “bang-bang” in the song she hit the bag that much harder. Spike stood in the doorway and watched her move. Even six months pregnant, she was as graceful as ever, as powerful as ever. He loved watching her move, watching her dance, watching her fight, hell, watching her walk across the room was enough to make him hard.


As the song ended, Buffy danced around on her toes, waiting for the next song to emerge from the speakers attached to her ipod. Madison Avenue started singing and Buffy joined in, stressing the verses she liked best.

You and me, we have an opportunity
And we could make it something really cool
But you, you think I'm not that kind of girl
I'm here to tell you baby, I know how to rock your world

Don't think that I'm not strong
I'm the one to take you on
Don't underestimate me boy
I'll make you sorry you were born
You don't know me
The way you really should
You sure misunderstood

Don’t call me baby



{{
You can hear the song by clicking on the link below, then clicking the “play” button near the top of the page that opens in the yellow area:

Don't Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue
}}


Spike smiled and walked silently up behind her as she continued her assault of the punching bag. Sensing when he got within striking distance, Buffy whorled with a round house kick at his head, he blocked it and threw a jab at her face, which she ducked as she dropped down in a sweep kick to knock his feet out from under him. Spike jumped over her kick and dove at her, pinning her shoulders down on the soft mat on the floor while carefully avoiding any pressure on her swollen abdomen. He held her only for a second before she kicked him over her head. He landed on his back with a thud, the soft mat that covered the floor cushioning his landing, before she scrambled on top of him, pinning his shoulders with her hands and his hips with hers.


Spike smiled up at her. “Not bad, but you dropped your shoulder and telegraphed that first kick.”


“Looks to me I did ok, I’m on top!” Buffy smiled back down at him.


“Yeah, exactly where I want you, luv.” Spike leered up at her with a lecherous grin on his face.


“Don’t underestimate me, boy, I’ll make you sorry you were born.” Buffy repeated the words to the song with a sly grin.


“Promises, promises!” Spike pulled her down onto his chest and caught her lips in a hungry kiss, his erection more than obvious under the soft fabric of the PJ’S he wore, she pressed her hips down further, wriggling on him until it’s length was pressing against her now wet pussy.


Buffy realized suddenly where they were and pulled back. “Can’t do this here . . .” she said breathlessly. Spike hated that they couldn’t do whatever they wanted wherever they wanted in their own house, but loving the Slayer meant he also had to welcome her friends into their life; he just wished he didn’t have to welcome them into their home unannounced at any hour of the day and night.


“Bugger,” he cursed as she stood up over him, offering him a hand up off the mat. As they headed out of the room and towards the stairs, Spike spied the still prone vacuum cleaner on the floor and asked, “There a reason you’ve slain the Hoover, luv?”


“Yes, it’s an instrument of torture and, as the Chosen One, it is my duty to rid the world of Evil, even if it is disguised as a vacuum cleaner,” she announced haughtily.


“The Hoover was possessed by a demon?” Spike eyed it suspiciously.


“Obviously! That’s why it wouldn’t suck.” Buffy waived her hand to encompass the room and the lint and other debris that littered the carpet.


“Right, then,” Spike continued cautiously. “You did plug it in, didn’t you?”


“OF COURSE I PLUGGED IT IN! I didn’t ride the short bus to school!” But even as Buffy said it, Spike saw her eyes drift along the electrical cord on the floor to double check that she had, indeed, plugged it in. Once assured that she had, she continued. “It RAN, it just wouldn’t SUCK, it was totally UNSUCKY.”


“Did you change the bag?” Spike asked.


“Bagless!” she countered as she leaned over and plucked the empty canister up off the floor where she had left it, waving it under his nose.


“Clean the filters?” he continued, un-phased.


“I cleaned THE filter. There’s more than one? Why would it need more than one? You’d think one filter would be plenty filtery.”


She looked over the slain vacuum and still didn’t see where the other filters might be hiding.


“I think its Willow’s turn to vacuum anyway – I was just trying to be nice. She can resurrect it.” With that Buffy turned on her heel and grabbed Spike’s hand, dragging him after her up the stairs. “I’ve got better things to do right now.” Spike had no argument with that and let her pull him away from the demon possessed Hoover.


**~**

January, 1999:


“How are you?” Spike asked.


“¿Cómo estás?” Buffy replied.


“I’m fine,” Spike said.


“Estoy bien,” Buffy said back.


Buffy couldn’t understand WHY she needed to take a language, after all, wasn’t ENGLISH a language and she already had a class in that, plus, she actually SPOKE English. But, it was a requirement. When she asked Spike about it, he said he could help her with Spanish or French, if pressed he could do Italian and Portuguese, but no Chinese, Japanese or Arabic languages. Now, they sat at the research table, Spike reading off the phrases in English, Buffy had to repeat them back in Spanish. This was boring.


“What are you doing?” Spike continued.


“¿Oye, como va?” Buffy replied.


Spike looked at her. “The non-Santana version.” He repeated, “What are you doing?”


“¿Qué haces?” she sighed the words.


“I am hungry,” Spike continued.


“Chupa mi toto.” Buffy smiled at him and slid a bare foot into his lap to press against his crotch under the table.


Spike raised an eyebrow; that wasn’t a half-bad idea, the thought of eating her hot, wet quim filling his mind, his cock jumped in his jeans before he could shake the image out.


“Nooo,” he drawled.


“¿Chupa su pinga, entonces?” Buffy pressed her foot harder against his growing erection.


“Buffy,” he sighed, exasperated. “You’re supposed to be studying, luv. Spanish, remember?”


“Oh, Mr. Spike. I’ve been such a naughty girl!” she cooed at him. “Whatever will you do to punish me?”


Buffy got up from her seat and moved to where he was sitting; she bent over the table and presented her ass to him. “Perhaps I need to be spanked, Mr. Spike.” She turned her head to look back at him, feigning her most innocent look and batting her lashes at him.


God, I am undeniably love’s bitch he thought to himself as he slid a hand up her skirt to find nothing on beneath. “Tell teacher what it is you’ve done that’s so naughty, Miss Summers.” He played along.


“Oh, Mr. Spike. I have these naughty, naughty thoughts about one of my teachers,” she used her best little girl voice.


“Do you now?”


“Um-hum.” Buffy nodded her head.


“Which teacher are you having these thoughts about, Miss Summers?” Hell, he was her only teacher at this point, unless you counted Willow, but it just seemed the thing to ask, anyway.


“Principal Snyder,” she responded, her voice shy but with a wicked grin on her face.


Spike snorted, barely able to contain his laughter. “Why would you want him, Miss Summers, when you can have a real man?”


“Oh, he’s soooo seexxxy! Such a hunk of a man!” Buffy squealed, “I just want him to fuck me sooo much,” she crooned and wriggled her ass in his face for emphasis.


Spike looked at the always open door on the far side of the room, thinking any of the Scoobies could pop in at any time before remembering that they had all gone on a field trip that day to some museum or such. Safe then, finally!


“Oh, Miss Summers, I think you do need to be punished. Severely.” Spike stood up behind her, pushing her skirt up to her waist to revel her rounded ass to him. Being eight months pregnant just made her more luscious.


Buffy squealed in mock surprise. “What . . . Whatever are you doing, Mr. Spike?”


“Giving you your punishment. Now, take it like a good girl.”


Spike slapped one ass cheek with a flat hand that elicited an “OH!” from Buffy, then, “Mr. Spike, PLEASE!”


“Please what, Miss Summers?” he asked coyly.


“Please do it again!”


Spike slapped a hand on the other cheek before running one hand down to her dripping cunt. When he lightly touched her swollen clit, she jerked against him and let out a small moan.


“You certainly get wet thinking about Mr. Snyder, pet,” he smiled. “Now for your punishment.”


Spike unbuckled his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans in what seemed like one fluid motion, letting his throbbing cock free of its restraints, he pressed the tip of it between her ass cheeks before sliding it down and pressing the tip into her tight pussy.


Buffy shuddered as he entered her, God, she loved how wonderful he felt when he was pressing into her.


“Mr. Spike, it’s too big, I don’t think it will . . ." Spike thrust hard into her, burying his rod to the hilt in her heat.


“Oh God!” Buffy’s back arched, throwing her head back, her legs quivering under her, her knees started to buckle and Spike caught her by the hips to steady her as he began a slow rhythmic fuck. “What were you sayin', luv?”


“Fuck me!” Buffy responded, all school-girl pretense gone.


“Believe I am, luv.”


“Fuck me harder!” she demanded as she began pushing back against him in time with his thrusts.


Buffy slid one hand down to finger her neglected clit and her inner muscles tightened even more around Spike’s cock as it banged in and out of her eliciting cries of “Christ . . . Fuck . . . God . . . Jesus Christ Slayer . . . " from his mouth.


Buffy was screaming, “Yes! Yes! God, Spike, Yes! Fuck me, Spike!" before she could no longer get enough oxygen to form words and screams replaced them on each exhale.


Buffy climaxed with a long piercing scream, leaning heavily on the table beneath her as Spike slammed into her from behind, her inner muscles clutching hard around Spike’s cock, bringing him to climax with a deep howl. Just then, the legs of the table buckled under her pressure and everything started to tumble down. Spike pulled Buffy by the hips and rolled to the side, shielding her so she wouldn’t fall onto her stomach and risk injury to herself or the baby, despite Willow's protection spell.


Buffy landed hard against Spike’s chest as he landed on his back.


“Bloody Hell!” she heard from behind and under her.


“You alright?” she asked concerned.


“I’ll do.” He chuckled. “Think you’ve slain the table, though, luv.”


“Oops? . . . I mean . . . umm . . .” Buffy cleared her throat. “Lo siento.”

Time line:


Late January, 1999. Buffy’s about 8 ½ months pregnant, senior in high school (home schooling).


**~**


Spike was up to something, Buffy knew it, she just didn’t know what. He had been all secret-y lately. When she was paying the phone bill she noticed an hour long call to L.A. on there, when she questioned him about it he feigned ignorance; Spike was a horrible liar, but he wouldn’t budge. When she called the number herself, she discovered it was Angel’s cell phone. She didn’t even have Angel’s cell phone number! What the hell is he calling Angel about and talking to him for an hour? This was not of the good.


Then there were the times she’d come downstairs and he’d be talking with the Scoobies but suddenly everyone clammed up when she walked in, acting like whatever book they had in their hands was the most interesting thing since Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson. She even caught Spike talking quietly with Faith off in one corner of the training room one day, “personal space” seemingly lost all meaning as they leaned in close to each other whispering conspiratorially.


Buffy trusted Spike, but he was keeping secrets and she’d had just about all she could take of it. Being eight and a half months pregnant, didn’t help either – even though it was winter, it seemed she was always HOT, she was TIRED, she was FAT, she couldn’t see her toes, she had to PEE constantly, she was either on the verge of tears or on the verge of temper tantrums most of the time and her boyfriend was keeping secrets.





Coming back from shopping for baby things with her mom one evening, they were stopped short of the door by Willow, a very nervous Willow. “Hi guys, whatcha doing?”


“Going in the house,” Buffy replied, “to sit down and see if I can get some feeling back in my feet.”





“Did ya’ have a good shopping trip, you weren’t gone very long.” Willow didn’t budge from blocking their path into the house.


“We were gone three hours, Will – now I’d really like to . . .” Buffy stopped. “Angel’s here,” she announced. “What’s Angel doing here?” She eyed Willow suspiciously.


"Angel? Angel’s here? Where?” Willow looked around innocently at the empty garden area.





“I can feel him. He’s here.” Buffy pushed past Willow and into the house.


Willow was saying something to her mom, but Buffy didn’t stop to listen, she needed to find out what the HELL was going on around here, once and for all. When she got inside, she stopped short, there were twinkling lights strung up from the ceiling and banks of candles scattered around the room. There were voices coming from the training room, but the door was closed so she couldn’t make out who it was, but she could feel Angel and Spike in there. She dropped the packages she was carrying and headed that way, prepared to break up the fight that she knew was bound to occur anytime the two of them were in close proximity to each other.


When Buffy opened the door she was hit with a chorus of “SURPRISE!” from all her friends. There were baby shower decorations around the room, chairs were set up in a circle in the middle of the room and a long table with a cake and punch sat to one side. Another table was piled high with brightly wrapped gifts. It wasn’t a baby shower in the strictest sense because of all the guys there, including Angel and of course, Giles, Xander, Oz and Spike – even Wesley was there. Buffy started to cry – again – and forced her fists to unclench where she had been readying herself for the fight.


“You guys! Note for the future: you shouldn’t throw surprise parties for pregnant women!” she laughed through the tears as she walked in and headed towards Spike. Catching him in a hug she said, “Is THIS what you’ve been hiding from me?”


Pulling her to him and planting a kiss on her lips, he murmured, “’Course, luv. You like?”


“I love,” she replied in his ear.





**~**


As the party went on, the presents were opened, eliciting squeals of delight from the women at all the cute outfits for the baby, Angel and Spike slipped out of the room. Angel followed Spike to the research table and sat down where Spike indicated. Angel hated this, he hated that Buffy was with Spike, that she was presumably, at least, having Spike’s baby; Spike wasn’t good enough for Buffy and he made no bones about his feelings whenever he talked to Spike.


“Do you have everything?” Spike asked Angel.


Angel just glared at him without answering.


“Right then, I’ll just go get the Slayer and we’ll all have a little fireside chat about the old days, shall we?” Spike said bitterly, “I’m sure she’ll forgive you all your sins, Angelus.” He specifically used what Buffy considered Angel’s “evil” name for emphasis.


Angel closed his eyes and counted to ten, he didn’t need to get in a physical fight with Spike while Buffy was in next room. He had no illusions as to whose side she’d be on right now.


The phone conversation from a month ago with Spike came back to him, Spike demanding that he be given control over his and Dru’s portion of the funds, that the mansion be put permanently in Buffy’s name and that the jewelry and other items that William had brought with him when he was first turned be given back to him.


Angel was indignant with him at the time, “You’re out of your mind, William! I’m the clan elder, YOU are nothing.”


“I may be nothing, but I’m the one with Buffy. I’m the one she loves and I’m the one she’s having a baby with. If you ever loved her, you would do this. Give me what's rightfully mine, for her sake,” Spike retorted.


“Pleeaase, spare me!” Angel had said, dripping insolence. “Buffy won’t be with you for long, mark my words. I’ll have her back again one day. I’m not getting any older, I can wait.”


Spike was prepared for this reaction from Angel. “Right then, shall I start reminiscing about the old days? I think Buffy would be intrigued, sickened and revolted, but still intrigued, when I let her in on some of our more torrid past escapades, don’t you Angelus?”


“Buffy knows what I’ve done in the past; she knows I was evil. That won’t change anything!” Angel retorted, but he knew that Spike knew much more than Buffy could ever guess about his actions in the past.


“Ahh, but does she know HOW evil? And does she know how evil you were WITH YOUR SODDING SOUL, Angelus?”


“She’ll hate you, too.” It was Angel’s last line of defense against Spike’s argument.


“Maybe, maybe not – I didn’t have a soul then, remember?” Spike knew he had won.


“Fine. FINE. Give me some time, I’ll let you know when I’ve got the arrangements made.” With that, Angel hung up the phone.


Angel opened his eyes and glared at Spike across the table, he pulled some papers out of his coat pocket and handed them to Spike.


The deed for the mansion was there, made out to Buffy, there was an accounting of the money that came from William and Dru when they were originally turned, along with some papers where the bank had calculated how much that money was worth now, with the interest and less the expenses that had come out of the account over the years (The expenses were sparse, since, as vampires, they had mostly just stolen anything they’d ever needed or wanted). Also included was a statement of where a new account had been established in the joint names of William Weckerly and Buffy Anne Summers.


Spike looked over the papers and stuffed them into his own pocket. “And the rest?” He looked back at Angel.


Angel pulled out a velvet bag from another pocket and held it in the air before dropping into Spike’s outstretched hand. Spike opened it and looked at the various trinkets of jewelry in the bag before selecting one in particular he wanted, removing it from the bag and putting it in his pocket before stuffing the remaining items into the same pocket with the papers.


“Always a pleasure, Angel.” Spike got up and started back towards the party, before throwing over his shoulder, “You should stick around for a bit, I think you’ll fancy the party favor at the end.”


**~**



The party was wrapping up when Spike came back in the room. The mountain of baby presents re-stacked neatly on one table, another mountain of wrapping paper littered the floor; everyone was eating cake and chatting amiably.


Spike looked at Willow and gave her a short nod before approaching Buffy. “Look at all the goodies!” she exclaimed, sweeping her arm at the table of presents, as he came up.


“Nuthin’ too good for our little bit, now is there?” he smiled and caught her in a hug.


“Can I talk to you out here a minute, luv?” Spike caught her hand and started guiding her towards the door.


“Is something wrong? It’s Angel, isn’t it? Something’s wrong with Angel,” she started as she followed him out of the room.


“Sumthin’s always wrong with Brood Boy, luv, but that’s not what I want to talk to you about,” Spike assured her.


Spike lead her through the main room and outside to the walled garden. Sometime between the time she and her mom had come in and now, the garden had been decked out the same way as the main room, with banks of candles and twinkling lights lining the walls.


“Wow, this is . . . it’s lovely. . .” she murmured, taking it in.


Near the center of the garden, by the fountain, Spike stopped and turned to face her. Looking deep into her eyes, he felt like he could melt into their depths, his hands, holding hers started to tremble slightly, God, when did I turn into a poof!? he thought to himself. Taking a physically unneeded, but mentally required, deep breath to steady himself, Spike sank to his knees in front of Buffy.


“Spike?” she looked at him quizzically.


“Buffy, I love you more than unlife itself. I told you before and I’ll repeat it now, I’ll love you forever, until your body returns to the earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I’ll lie atop your grave and join you on that day, because I don’t know how I could go on without you in my life.”


Buffy looked at him intently, damn tears! she thought, as they welled up in her unblinking eyes.


Spike continued, “Buffy Anne Summers, will you do me the honor of being my wife? Will you marry me?” Spike pulled the engagement ring out of his pocket and held it up to her; it had been his mother’s, he hoped Buffy would like it.


Buffy stared at him and then at the ring for a long moment, “Spike, I . . .” for a moment Spike thought she was going to say no; if he’d had a heart beat at that moment, it would have broken his chest, “would be honored to be your wife!”


Buffy pulled his hands for him to rise. She momentarily considered going down on her knees next to him, but not so much with the getting up and down, considered the huge beach ball that was impersonating her stomach right now.


Spike slid the ring on her finger as she watched. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, a large, clear, round diamond in the center with three smaller, square cut rubies on each side set in a triangle shape leading down onto the gold band, and it fit perfectly. Once the ring was on her finger, Spike pulled her into a deep kiss and their guests, who had been shepherded out into the open doorway behind them by Willow, burst into applause. Well, all except for one broody vampire who stood back in the shadows of the great room and glowered at the happy couple.


She heard champagne corks popping, but Buffy wasn’t sure if it was real or if it was the fireworks that were exploding in her brain that was making the noise, as she leaned into her fiancé and returned his kiss. Her fiancé, she repeated to herself, fiancé!


Pulling away from the kiss, she whispered to him, “When?”


Not understanding her question, Spike said, “Been working on it a while, luv.”


“No, I mean when can we get married?” Buffy was absolutely glowing as she searched his face for an answer.


“Anytime, I suppose. Whenever you’re ready.” He smiled back at her, he couldn’t believe his good fortune, the woman he loved, loved him back and now was not only going to have his child, but be his wife. When had unlife gotten so bloody wonderful?


“Now?” Buffy gushed at him.


Spike raised an eyebrow and said, “Well, pet, I think we need an official legal kinda justice of the peace type person.”


Buffy looked at him quizzically and said, “Legal type person? But, I thought you meant symbolically married, you know, Jump the Broom, like that . . . how can we get legally married, you’re, like a hundred and fifty and . . . and undead!”


“PLEEAASE, not nearly a hundred n' fifty!" he said, insulted. "Actually, according to the Queen and the great state of California, I’m twenty-eight!”


He smiled smugly and pulled out a California Driver’s license from his pocket along with a UK passport and waved them in front of her nose. “Completely legal – ish.”


Buffy didn’t think it was possible for her to love him any more than she already did, but at that moment she felt like every molecule in her body would explode with love for him. Before she could pull him back into an embrace they were surrounded by their friends, everyone wanted to see the ring, there was champagne (sparkling grape juice for Buffy, of course) and toasts to their future.


By the time everyone had gone, Buffy was exhausted, happy beyond words, but still very pregnant and very exhausted. She intended to lie down on the bed for a minute and then go get a quick shower – just one minute on the bed was all she needed . . . .


Buffy was walking through the halls of Sunnydale high. It was empty and dark, the only sound was her shoes as they clicked on the floor and echoed down the hallway. She walked into the computer lab, Jenny Calendar was at the desk at the front of the room.


“Ah, Buffy, I’ve been waiting for you.”


“Miss Calendar! I’m so sorry! Angelus . . .” Buffy said, rushing towards her old teacher.


“It’s ok, Buffy. It wasn’t your fault, really, I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t either. In the end, you did what had to be done, didn’t you?” Miss Calendar spoke softly, understanding that Buffy did one of the hardest things of her life sending Angel to hell.


“Yes,” Buffy answered meekly. "But it wasn’t enough to save you.”


“Buffy, I don’t have much time. I’ve been waiting for a while. You need to know, the spell that I translated, the one Willow used to restore Angel’s soul, it doesn’t have the happiness clause attached to it.”


Buffy tried to comprehend what she was saying. “No happiness clause? So, Angel can be happy and not turn all Angelus on me . . . on us . . . on anyone? Not lose his soul?”


“That’s right. You can be with him, he can be happy and he’ll be fine, he’ll be Angel.”


Miss Calendar looked at her sadly, “I’m sorry that clause was in there to start with, I honestly don’t know what my clan was thinking . . .”



Buffy woke with a start from her dream. She knew immediately that that it was a Slayer dream, that it was real and it was true. Angel won’t lose his soul again, at least not from the happiness clause on the curse. Obviously, that same thing would be true for Spike.


God, that meant that she could be with Angel right now – she could’ve been with him all this time. If she had know this then, when he first came back, she might be with Angel this minute. Did she still love Angel like that? She thought about this for a while, struggling with the contradictions she felt about Angel. He was her first love, but, wasn’t he also her first stalker? Spike had shown her the pictures, hadn't he? And what about Spike? She loved him so much, she and Spike fit in so many ways. Buffy was exactly where she wanted to be, she decided. She loved Spike and he made her happier than anything in the world. Things worked out for the best, after all.


Rolling over on the bed to where he was sleeping she snuggled against his back. He rolled over sleepily onto his back and pulled her to him, settling her head on his shoulder, she draped one leg over his.


“Happy, luv?”


“More than you know.” She twirled the ring on her finger.



“Spike?”


“Yeah, luv.”


“Can I ask you a question?”


“Think you just did.” Then, after a moment, “ ‘Course.”


“When Angel first got his soul, he was . . . haunted for a long time – a really long time,” Buffy started.


“Yeah, Brood Boy really knows how to drag out the pain. Always was one of his specialties,” Spike agreed, thinking silently that usually the pain was inflicted on someone else, but it was just another side to the same coin, or pyramid, as far as he was concerned.


“You seem to be handling the soul thing without much . . . broodiness,” Buffy observed, “Why do you suppose that is?”


Spike sighed, how would he ever make her understand?


“Angel is a monster, Buffy. Your boy Harris is right about that, Liam was a monster, Angelus was a monster and Angel is still a monster, just a different kind, maybe more subtle, but still. It isn’t so much what he did when he didn’t have a soul that's the problem, luv, it’s the fact that he’s done stuff with it that is . . .” Spike searched for a word that wouldn’t upset Buffy too much, “questionable, at best. That even with a soul, he can’t control parts of his personality that are, well, monstrous. That’s what weighs on the poofster's soul.”


“And you’re not a monster?” It came out harsher than Buffy intended, but Angel was still her first love and she hated what Spike was saying.


“Buffy, I’m not saying I haven’t done evil, monstrous things in my unlife – ‘cause God knows, I have. Things you can never imagine, things I prefer you didn't. I’m just sayin’, William was a ponce with a poet’s heart, I hate him for being a Nancy Boy, but he was never a monster. Dru may have sired me, but Angel’s who turned William into Spike and made the moniker ‘William the Bloody’ mean something more literal than it did before . . .”


He didn’t finish that thought, starting over, he said, “If I blame anyone for what I’ve done over the last century, it’s Angel, so him with the broody self flagellation and me not, seems only fair.”


He knew this isn’t what Buffy wanted to hear, he knew that she still had feelings for Angel, but he didn’t know how else to make her understand why the soul had affected the two vampires so differently.


Buffy listened and tried to read between the lines. All she knew about Angel, all Spike had told her, shown her, over the last months weighing on her mind as she processed what Spike said.


Finally, Buffy said, “I think I kind of love William, myself. I don’t think he’s a 'Nancy Boy' at all.”


Spike raised his head up to look at her, eyebrows raised. “You didn’t know William, luv.”


“Oh, I think I know him very well,” she said as she held her left hand up for him to see the engagement ring.

“Yeah, I think we’ve met.”

Time Line:

Early February, 1999. Buffy’s about 8 ¾ months pregnant, senior in high school (home schooling).

**~**

It had been a week since the surprise baby shower. Buffy woke to a familiar scene: Spike had his head lying on her chest, his face buried against her swollen abdomen and their baby, one arm encircling it as he hummed a familiar lullaby. Buffy often wondered if it was the only one he knew or if it had more meaning to him than “just an old song” which was the only thing he’d admit to when she brought it up. It was the same one he had sung to her that first night to soothe her and she pretty well knew most of it by heart now, herself.


Spike’s hair was getting long, Buffy ran her fingers through it as he continued to hum to the baby. She liked his hair long and curly, but Spike hated the curls, said they made him look like a poof, which she disagreed with, but couldn’t convince him of. After all, he couldn’t even see them unless someone took a picture, he should just take her word for it! But, no! It was a constant battle, he’d let it grow out because she liked it curly, but then he’d get feeling all “poofy” and cut the curls off. There seemed to be no amount of hair gel in the world that would hold the curls down like he preferred when they were long. Buffy sighed. If that was the worst of the battles they’d have to face for the rest of their life, that would be a blessing.


Her mind flitted briefly to the Beast that was going to be after their child and suddenly the length of Spike’s hair seemed really insignificant. They still didn’t know who this Beast was, what form it would take, how to defeat it or even when it would come. They had finally found the prophecy in one of the books the Council had sent with Wesley when he came, but it didn’t tell them any more than she already knew from her dream. Bridge, she thought, not here yet, and she turned her focus back to Spike.


“So, you really don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy?” she asked softly. They’d had this conversation a hundred times before. Spike insisted they not be told the sex of the baby during the sonograms ("Is not natural" he’d said to her, "you find out when the baby comes out.") and, although Buffy would have liked to have known so she could pick colors for the nursery that weren’t so unisex, she’d honored his wish.


“No, don’t care long as it’s healthy and looks like you, luv.” Spike sat up to look at her. Whenever they talked like this Buffy thought she could drown in the blue of his eyes, they were like pools of crystal blue ocean from one of those exotic islands on the Travel Channel.


“What if it looks like you, or both of us? A little boy that looks like you, he’d be breaking all the little girls hearts in the hospital nursery.” She smiled at him, running a hand down from his hair to his scarred brow before tracing the line of his cheek bone to the hollow of his cheek and then to his lips.


Spike smiled back at her, taking her hand in his and pressing it softly to his lips in a gentle kiss. He hoped she was right, that it looked like both of them, but he had no illusions that it would. Despite what her dream had told her and what he felt that night, he was still not convinced that the baby was his and not something that the PTB or the Monks or who-the-bloody-hell-ever created all on their own. It didn’t matter, because he loved her and he would love and protect the bit as it if were his own. It would have been nice to have a child, he’d never had any children when he was alive, and had dismissed the possibility completely once he was turned, but now that there was the slightest chance that it may be real was presented to him, it made him sad to think that it probably wasn’t his, after all.


“Buffy, I need to talk to you about something, luv.”


“Sure, what’s up?”


“I’m not really sure how to ask this, so, I’m just gonna do it and, whatever you want to do is fine with me, ok?” Spike started cautiously.


“Oookaay,” Buffy drew the word out across her tongue almost making it a question.


“So, here’s the thing, luv. When vampires choose a mate that’s not their sire or childe, there’s a ritual where the two parties claim each other.” Spike was talking fast now, he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to say it otherwise. “It involves sharing each other’s blood and it forms a bond, a strong bond, between the pair, so strong one can feel what the other is physically feeling, even if they aren’t together, sometimes it can be so strong to allow you to communicate with each other, mentally, even if you’re far away from each other.”


Buffy unconsciously touched the scar on her neck where Spike had bitten her when she had encouraged him to during sex, the memory of it starting a familiar tingling in her groins.


“But, sharing blood? I won't turn into a vampire?” she looked at him wide eyed.


“NO! No, no no. I'd never do that!” Spike waved his hands emphatically before explaining, “It’s just a little blood, I take a bit from you, you take a bit from me, Peaches says a few things in Latin and that’s it. It won’t turn you into a vampire, I’d never do that, Buffy.” Spike picked her hand back up from where he'd dropped it as he finished talking.


“Angel? Angel has to perform the ritual?”


“Yeah, he’s still the Aurelius clan leader, luv. He has to bless the bringing of an outsider into the clan.”


Naturally, she thought, never thought I’d wish Darla was still undead. “What if he doesn’t say the right words . . . what if he, I don’t know, says something that pushes us apart instead of pulling us closer?”


Spike had thought of this, himself. “No, it’s a really short ritual, only a few words and he says them before we do anything. I know Latin, if he says the wrong words, we can just stop,” and dust him, Spike added silently.


Buffy looked at Spike thoughtfully, it was obvious this was important to him. “When would we do it?”


“I was thinking after the wedding ceremony. We can do it with just the three of us; you don’t have to do it in front of your friends.”


Buffy considered his words, don’t have to do it in front of your friends. She expected him to perform her “bonding ritual” of marriage in front of her friends, didn’t she? And yeah, sharing blood, pretty gross, but duh! Vampire!, isn’t it always about the blood?


Buffy didn’t say anything for a long time. Spike was sure she was working on a way to say no without hurting his feelings. “You don’t have to, luv. It’s ok. It won’t change how much I love you.”


“I know. I was just thinking that I should probably warn everyone before hand so they don’t, you know, stake you when the sharing starts?”


Spike just nodded, at a total loss for words for once in his unlife. She was going to do it! In front of her friends!


**~**

“So,” Buffy was saying to the assembled group, “when the regular part of the ceremony is over, Wesley will escort the justice of the peace out and Angel will perform the bonding ceremony. It won’t take very long, just a few words in Latin and then Spike and I will exchange blood.”


Just like when Buffy announced she was pregnant, she strategically placed herself between Spike and her friends for this little announcement, as well. As soon as the word ‘blood’ was out of her mouth, the cacophony of “What!?”, “Blood!?” and “Huh?!” rang out. About the only one who didn’t say anything was Faith. Buffy hadn’t really hit it off with Faith at first, but they’d grown closer, and Faith seemed to be the only one who actually understood Buffy at times. It must be the whole warrior thing, she theorized.


Buffy held up her hand to quiet everyone. “It’s just a little, he’s not turning me and it’s something that I want to do. I just want you all to be prepared beforehand, so you know what to expect.”


“Buffy, are you quite sure about this?” Giles asked for the group.


“Yes, beyond sure, please trust me,” she answered Giles before turning to address the group at large. “If you don’t think you can't watch or don’t want to attend that part of the ceremony, then, of course, you don’t have to. I’m marrying a vampire, guys, time to get over it.”


When no one made any further comments she said, “Great then, we’ll see you all tomorrow night.”


**~**


Buffy sat on the steps on the back porch of her mom’s house. It was late, but she couldn’t sleep. She was spending the night and day before her wedding there, adhering to the “I’m screwing my fiancé and I’m ready to pop a baby out on the floor, but I’ll stay away for twenty-four hours and pretend I’m a virgin for my wedding day” tradition.


After dinner she’d had the ‘blood sharing’ talk with her mom, who wasn’t at the meeting earlier that day, then Buffy had turned in early to try and get some rest, but it hadn’t worked. So she sat on the steps and looked up at the stars, wondering if Spike might be doing the same thing, wondering if, after the bonding ritual, she would be able to TELL if Spike was doing the same thing.


Buffy felt a familiar tingle on the back of her neck and turned to look at the gate leading from the street. “You’re not supposed to be here.”


Angel stepped out of the shadows and into the light cast from inside the house. “I know, I just wanted to talk to you, alone.”


Buffy slid over to give him room to sit down next to her and waited for the “Spike’s not good enough for you” speech.


“Buffy, Spike’s not good enough for you,” Angel started and Buffy had to choke back a laugh.


Buffy turned and looked up at him. “Angel, I’m sorry, but I love Spike. I’m marrying Spike. I wish you’d be happy for us.”


“But not too happy . . ." he sighed.


“Actually, you can be perfectly happy.” When he looked at her, brows knit together, she continued. “The spell that restored your soul, it doesn’t have the happiness curse, or clause, hex . . . whatever . . . attached to it. You can be happy. You should be happy.”


“Buffy, I . . . why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could've been together! We could be together, now!”


Angel put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her towards him. Before she could react, he had captured her mouth in a hungry kiss, his arms encircling her, barring her from pulling back. She pushed against his chest, tried to turn her head away from him, but he had her in too strong a grip.


Using her fingernails, she dug deep into his arm, he howled and pulled back from the pain.


“NO! ANGEL, STOP!” she screamed at him as she tried to get up and move away from him, but he grabbed her foot and she fell backwards on the porch. She kicked her feet at his hands but he was already moving up her body, pressing a knee into her thigh.


“THE BABY! ANGEL STOP!” Buffy kept kicking her feet, pushing herself along the porch towards the back door. If she could just get inside, he couldn’t follow. Willow had dis-invited him long ago and he’d never been invited back in.


Suddenly, she heard a deep growl coming from somewhere in the yard and just as suddenly Angel was no longer on top of her. She turned and scrambled on hands and knees until she’d cleared the threshold of the house before turning around to see Spike and Angel, both in game face, wrestling on the ground for control of the other.


Buffy stumbled to her feet and ran to the small weapons chest she still kept at her mom’s and grabbed a stake. When she got back to the yard, Spike had Angel pinned down by the throat, she thought that he might actually be able to rip Angel’s head clean off with his bare hands.


“You bloody cocksucker! You just can’t stand it, can you? She wants ME, she LOVES ME and you can’t ‘ave her!” Spike was screaming at him and pressing ever harder on Angel’s throat. “The great Angelus, back to raping pregnant women. Were you going to eat the baby first, or after the deed, Angelus? A Slayer’s baby, that would’ve been a sweet treat for you, wouldn’ it?!”


At the sound of the gasp from Buffy, who had moved up behind them, Spike closed his eyes a second and tried to calm down before he continued.


“What do you want me to do with him, Slayer?” Spike didn’t look at her, he kept a firm grip on Angel as he spoke. Buffy’s head was spinning; Angel had actually tried to rape her. If not for Spike, he might have succeeded – Angel, not Angelus, Angel.


Tears were streaming down Buffy’s face, she shook her head trying to clear her thoughts, trying to get a grip on what had just happened and what Spike was asking her.


“Buffy, please . . .” Angel croaked past Spike’s grip.


“SHUT UP! NO ONE’S BLOODY TALKN’ TO YOU!” Spike screamed at him, tightening his grip further.


Then something occurred to her. “What about the bonding . . . the claim? If Angel’s dust, can it still be done?”


Spike honestly didn’t know the answer to that. If Angel were dust, he’d be the clan leader – and the whole clan, for that matter, well, except for Harmony. Could he perform the ceremony and be part of it, as well?


FUCK!


Spike stood up and picked Angel up by the throat in one fluid motion, never loosening his grip on him.


Spike’s voice was low, dangerous, as he addressed his grand sire. “You are going to show up tomorrow night and perform the claim ceremony. If you so much as say one syllable of that ritual wrong, I WILL DUST YOU. If you don’t show up, I will HUNT YOU DOWN and make you WISH you were dust.”


Spike’s golden eyes seemed to glow with the anger and frustration of the whole situation. “When the ritual is done, you will leave. Go back to L.A. and STAY THE HELL OUT OF OUR LIVES! CLEAR?”


Angel tried to speak, but couldn’t draw in a breath to form any words. Spike had such a grip on his throat that he couldn’t even nod, so Angel just dropped his game face and lowered his eyes away from Spike’s to convey his agreement.


“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!” Spike threw him towards the gate leading out of the yard and Angel scrambled wearily to his feet to make a hasty retreat.


Still in game face, Spike turned back to Buffy who had started trembling as the reality of the situation completely hit her, and took her in his arms. “You ok? The bit ok?”


Buffy’s lower lip trembled as she tried to fight back the tears and the anger that was building in her; she nodded against his shoulder, unable to speak.


“Com’on luv, let’s get you inside.” Spike leaned down and scooped her up. Her arms encircled his neck and she buried her head against his chest as he carried her back into the house. Her mom was just making her way to the back door after being awoken with the shouts from the back yard when Spike got Buffy inside.


“What happened? What’s going on? Buffy? William, why are you . . . your face . . .?”


Spike shook his game face off. “Everything’s ok. Maybe some tea to help her settle down? I’ll take her upstairs and be back down to get it.”


Spike laid Buffy down on her childhood bed and knelt beside it, stroking her hair, trying to calm her down.


“Spike, I . . . we were just talking . . . then he . . . he . . . I didn’t expect it.”


“I know, luv. It’s ok now.”


“I don’t know if I could have made it to the house . . . I . . . I didn’t have any weapons . . .”


“Told you I’d protect you and the bit, luv. I meant it, I’ll always be here to protect you.” In fact, Spike had been getting ready to climb up to her bedroom window when heard her screaming in the back yard.


He knew this was some kind of strange tradition, to stay apart the night before the wedding, but he didn’t like it one bit and couldn’t sleep, so he decided to take a walk and, well, the walk had taken him to her, of course.


“It was Angel,” Buffy murmured softly.


“Yeah, luv, it was.” Spike thought she finally got it now, Angel, Angelus, Liam . . . they really were all the same person.

Time line:
February 6th, 1999. Buffy’s about 8 ¾ months pregnant, senior in high school (home schooling).

**~**

“I, Elizabeth Anne Summers, take you, William, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful and equal partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to believe in you, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live and beyond.


The ring is a circle . . . an ancient symbol of eternity and completeness, so perfect, with no beginning and no end, just like my love for you. I give you this ring to wear with love and joy as I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore.”


~~ * ~~


Buffy was glad Willow had insisted on videotaping the ceremony, because she was so nervous she was sure it would all be a blur to her when it was over. The whole thing was like a few freeze frames in her mind.


The stairway coming down into the garden was carpeted with dusty-pink rose petals, she remembered being sorry she had to step on them to descend down to where Spike and the others waited for her.


The whole garden was lit with the same candles and twinkling lights as the night Spike had proposed to her, it seemed to glow in warmth and love, she remembered thinking, ooo, pretty.


When she got to the bottom of the steps she remembered her mom and Giles waiting for her, they walked her the rest of the way to where Spike and the Justice of the Peace were waiting and, when asked, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” they all three answered, “We do.”


She remembered Spike and how absolutely handsome he looked in the traditional black tux. He literally made her heart jump. He had an dusty-pink rose on his lapel that matched the ones on the steps and those she held as her bouquet. Giles had moved to stand by Spike as his best man – Giles! She still could hardly believe it when he had offered to stand up with Spike.


She remembered handing her bouquet to Willow and thinking that Willow looked lovely in the lacy, long sleeved, floor length peasant dress that was an antique ivory color. After looking at many brides maid’s dresses in the wedding shop, from skanky to just plain hurl-worthy, they’d settled on something simple for her best friend to wear.


Buffy remembered the look on Spike’s face when he saw her in her dress, like he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. She would have preferred to not have been so very pregnant in a wedding dress but, had chosen, after urging from Faith and Willow, to flaunt it instead of hide it. “Look, B., we all know you’re knocked up – why wear a muumuu? Hell, girl, you got it, flaunt it!” was how Faith had put it and Willow agreed. So Buffy had chosen a strapless, open back dress that hugged ALL of her curves before flowing freely down to the ground. It was made of taffeta, in the same dusty pink as the roses, and covered completely with a delicate lace in the same antique ivory as Willow's dress. Pearl earrings and a pearl necklace completed the ensemble. Her hair was up off her neck and baby’s breath adorned her hair where it was twisted up in the back.


She remembered holding her trembling hand out and Spike sliding the wedding band on that matched the engagement ring and she remembered sliding the plain gold band on his finger. And then they were kissing.


*********************************


“I, William Weckerly, take you, Buffy, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to believe in you, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live and beyond.


The ring is a circle . . . an ancient symbol of eternity and completeness, so perfect, with no beginning and no end, just like my love for you. I give you this ring to wear with love and joy as I choose you to be my wife this day and forevermore.”


~~ * ~~


Spike couldn't remember ever being so nervous in his unlife as he fumbled with the bow tie the was supposed to be wearing. Christ, this was harder to do than he remembered, especially without a reflection. Giles, who had volunteered to stand up with him as best man, much to Spike’s surprise and Buffy’s delight, had gone to check on the last minute arrangements with the food and such, leaving Spike to fight alone with the demon tie, best man my sodding ass, he thought, completely exasperated.


A knock on the door followed by a “Hey, you decent?” elicited a smile from Spike.


“Never really been accused of that before, pet, but I’m dressed – mostly.”


Faith entered the room. “Giles said you might need some help with that – what with the reflection deficit and all.”


“Wouldn’t turn you down. Might require Slayer strength to defeat it.”


Faith raised an eyebrow but just took the tie from his hand and started settling it under his collar and getting the tie wrestled into submission.


“You’re not just marrying Buffy, today, you know,” Faith started as she worked with the tie.


“Yeah, how’s that?” Spike watched her face as Faith concentrated on the tie.


“You’re marrying a Slayer.”


“Sussed that out myself, pet,” Spike retorted dryly.


“I’m just saying, you, me, Buffy, we’re all cut from the same cloth. Warriors, powerful, used to doing as we please, used to being in charge; not so much with playing well with others.” Faith felt like she was just stating the obvious and spoke conversationally.


Spike stayed silent, waiting to see where this was headed.


“Want. Take. Have. She wanted you, she took you and now she’s gonna have you. Forever. Are you ready to live with that? Forever? To be second to a Slayer and play nice with her friends?” Faith kept her voice even, not challenging, like she was asking about the weather.


“Not second to A Slayer, pet, second to THE Slayer.” Spike narrowed his eyes and stared at Faith to make sure she comprehended his meaning. As far as he was concerned, Buffy was THE SLAYER, the ORIGINAL, THE BEST. “Got no problem with that. I’m her willin’ slave.”


Faith just nodded as she finished the last touches on his tie. “Good then, guess it’s time to go meet your fate.”


**~**


Spike really wanted a smoke or a drink, or both, standing in the garden in front of the justice of the peace with all of Buffy’s (and his?) friends gathered, waiting for Buffy to appear. He idly patted down his pockets before remembering that he quit smoking at Buffy’s request “some of us still have functioning lungs, including your baby” she’d said, so he quit, mostly. But now was one of those times he thought that had been a really bad idea.


“Stop fidgeting,” Giles whispered so low only Spike could have heard him. Spike would have rather faced ten Glagmonthe demons than be required to stand still at that moment in time, but he stopped and folded his hands behind his back to keep them still.


Then he saw her. God, she was lovelier now than he’d ever seen her. Descending the stairs into the garden like an angel coming down from heaven, she absolutely glowed. Spike couldn’t take his eyes off her. Suddenly, everything else became a blur. He was glad Willow had insisted on videotaping the ceremony, because he was sure he’d never remember anything except the way Buffy looked right then.


Buffy was in front of him, smiling, her green eyes like liquid pools he could have fallen into and never come up from, then he was sliding the ring on her finger and she was sliding the ring on his and just that quick they were kissing and he thought he’d never tasted anything sweeter.


**~**


Buffy stiffened involuntarily in Spike’s embrace and Spike let out a low growl as they felt Angel approach and take the place where the Justice of the Peace had, apparently, just pronounced them husband and wife.


Holding Buffy tightly to his side, the pair turned to face Angel. Buffy slid her hand to the small of Spike’s back and under his jacket to touch the stake that he had hidden there. If looks could have killed, Angel would have been so dusted, but, since they needed him for this, hard looks were as far as it went.


For his part, Angel kept his eyes averted from the pair as much as possible while waiting for the guests to settle back down after the applause that erupted when the couple was declared man and wife. Angel let his eyes drift across the gathering, noting that everyone except Xander seemed to be prepared to stay for this “less traditional” part of the ceremony. Xander had wandered back into the mansion and was busily checking the hors d'oeuvres for freshness and hordouvery goodness.


When everyone had settled back down, Angel began. “At rector of prosapia Aurelius , EGO, Angelus, exspectata Buffy Anne Summers-Weckerly, The Slayer. Suus hostilis es nostri quod nostri es ipsa, suus pugna es nostri quod nostri es ipsa. is est iam of dominus versus , quod porro ut versus William the Bloody. Cruor ut cruor sic vadum is exsisto.”


Buffy had asked Spike to translate the ritual for her shortly after she’d agreed to it, thinking that, perhaps she should actually KNOW what she was agreeing to, after all.


“Roughly,” he’d said, “it’ll go like this:


"As master of the clan of Aurelius, I, Angelus, welcome Buffy Anne Summers, The Slayer. Her enemies are ours and ours are hers, her battles are ours and ours are hers. She is now of the Master's line, and further to the line of William the Bloody. Blood to blood, so shall it be.”


It seemed a little creepy, being made part of the Master’s line – since, he had, technically, killed her and she had killed him, twice, but, she figured she could deal with that creepiness if it did what Spike said it would, and she trusted Spike.


When Angel finished speaking, Buffy looked at Spike for confirmation that what he’d said was, in fact, the correct ritual and, at his nod she turned to Willow who handed her a ceremonial dagger. Spike shrugged out of his formal wear, handing first his jacket, then the demon tie and finally his shirt to Giles, leaving Spike bare chested.


Turning back to Buffy, Spike changed into game face and Buffy held her breath as she sliced a deep gash in Spike’s neck, just at the point that it met the shoulder. Spike pulled her to him and buried his fangs into her neck as she clamped her mouth over the bleeding gash in his.


Thankfully, Willow retrieved the dagger from Buffy’s hand before it crashed to the floor. Spike’s bite was just as Buffy remembered and sent her head into a spin the moment his fangs broke the skin. She tried to concentrate on the cool, coppery liquid that flowed into her own mouth, but the more she sucked on his neck, the more aroused she got until the only thing keeping her from buckling to the floor was Spike’s arms around her.


Spike had been prepared for the reaction his bite would elicit from Buffy and had braced himself to take her full weight in his arms if it came to that. He could feel her orgasm building after only a few seconds and, although he would have liked to have brought her to climax right there, he didn’t think she’d appreciate that happening in front of all her friends, her mum and her Watcher. If she had decided to do the ceremony with just Angel present, he most certainly would have taken her all the way, just to show the poof once and for all who Buffy loved.


Spike pulled out of her neck and changed out of game face while he softly nuzzled the bite marks, licking the remaining drops of blood from her skin and sealing her wounds. He could feel her coming back to herself and he slowly eased his embrace and pulled her away from his neck, claiming her lips with his. Each had the other’s blood on their lips, in their mouths, as they kissed. Mingling the tastes, the coolness and the heat until it was as one, inexorably linked together through space and time, each one claiming the other as their own.


“Wow,” Buffy murmured into his mouth as she pulled out of the kiss to get some much needed air.


“It is done,” announced Angel, Buffy had forgotten that he was even there, she had forgotten pretty much where exactly “here” was for a few moments. Spike pulled her back into his arms for a final kiss before turning to face their guests, the music started and the newlyweds walked down the aisle in a shower of rose petals and into the mansion for the party.


Pulling away from her, Spike followed Giles into the training room to bandage his wound and retrieve his clothing as everyone hugged Buffy and congratulated her. When the crowd around her had cleared, Willow pulled Buffy aside. “Wow, Buffy, I mean . . .WOW. That was . . . Wow,” Willow couldn’t stop gushing. “I’m so happy for you Buffy, Spike really loves you and you obviously love him and . . . well, WOW.”


Buffy gave her friend a hug, “Thanks Willow. It means so much that you were here today. And, yeah, pretty WOW-IE from my side, too.” Buffy smiled at her friend before scanning the small crowd for Spike, but he wasn’t back yet.


“So, B., that’s the hottest wedding I’ve been to since . . . ever!” Faith pulled Buffy into a quick, tight hug, “So, the big guy, you all done with him?”


Buffy looked at Faith like she had three eyes. “What are you talking about?”


“Angel. You all done with him? Cause I was thinking, seein’s how you’ve got everyone all hot and bothered, that I might try a ride on that tilt-a-whirl.” Faith swiveled her hips for emphasis.


“Angel?” Buffy shook her head in an effort to comprehend fully what Faith was asking, “Yeah, I’m done with Angel, in fact, well done . . . more like burnt to a crisp. He’s all yours, if you want him. Just watch it, he sometimes tilts when you’re expecting a whirl.”


“Got it covered, B. You know me, always up for a wild ride.” Faith gave Buffy another quick hug. “See ya’ later, yeah?” she called over her shoulder as she walked over to where Angel was standing. Faith leaned in and whispered something to him that Buffy couldn't make out and Angel followed Faith out.


Spike, fully dressed again in his tux, walked up behind Buffy and put his arms around her, resting his hands on their growing baby in her abdomen. He followed Buffy’s eyes to where she was watching Faith and Angel leave together.


“Want. Take. Have.” Buffy said to no one in particular. Spike cocked a brow and wondered briefly if that was something in the Slayer handbook, a credo like “Semper fi”.


“Think that’ll be alright?” Spike asked, watching the pair disappear.


“Faith’s a big Slayer, she can take care of herself,” Buffy replied.


“I was more worried about Angel,” Spike laughed into her ear.


Buffy smiled. “Yeah, I think Faith may be able to teach even Angelus a thing or two.”


Spike and Buffy’s attention was pulled back into the room as Wesley announced the first dance. Buffy had decided pretty much everything for the wedding and Spike never said anything about any of it unless she asked for his opinion on something. Of course, the planning was fast and pulling it together was done quickly, there wasn’t a lot of time for long discussions of seating arrangements and whatnot.


Because of that, Buffy asked Spike if he would choose the music for the first dance and he said he would, but he never shared with her what it was. For him, it was a difficult choice, to try and find something suitable, something she’d like and something he liked. Finally, he just decided to go with something he liked and hoped she would, too.


As Buffy and Spike stepped into the center of the floor, the music started and the Ramones started singing . . .


{{{
Click here: Baby, I Love You to play the song. On the new window that opens, click “Play” at the top of the page in the Yellow portion of the screen.

}}}

Have I ever told you
How good it feels to hold you
It isn't easy to explain

And though I'm really trying
I think I may start crying
My heart can't wait another day
When you touch me I just gotta

Baby I love you
Baby I love you
Baby I love you

C'mon baby n-n-n-n-now

I can't live without you
I love everything about you
I can't help it if I feel this way

Oh, I'm so glad I found you
I want my arms around you
I love to hear you call my name
Tell me baby that you feel the same

Baby I love you
Baby I love you
Baby I love you

My heart can't wait another day
When you touch me I just gotta

Baby I love you
Baby I love you
Baby I love you



It wasn’t a really slow song, but not wildly punk rock, either, and Buffy loved that he could find something that fit them both and that echoed how both of them felt.


As she moved in his arms to the beat, she sang softly along with the chorus, “Baby, I love you.”

Time line:
Spans:
From: February 14th, 1999.
The baby’s due. Buffy’s a senior in high school (home schooling).

To: December, 1999.

The Gentlemen steal everyone’s voice, Buffy learns that Riley Finn is part of the Commandos capturing demons and vampires.

**~**
February 14th, 1999:

Walking along the shoreline, Buffy felt wonderful, her life was really wonderful, which, on the Hellmouth, is really a bad omen, but she’d burn that bridge when she crossed it. She was in love with a guy who adored her, true, he was a vamp, but, that had its advantages, too.


She stopped, faced into the sun and closed her eyes. Buffy just let the sun wash over her as she listened to the waves break against the shore and enjoyed the fresh smell of the sea. This is one reason she loved living in California, even though she didn’t get to the beach often, it was always nice to know that it was there, waiting for her to return.


Spike came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, set his chin down on her shoulder and closed his eyes.


“How’d you find me here?” Buffy asked.


“If I was blind, I would see you,” Spike whispered.


“Stay with me.” Buffy lay her hands over his where they had settled on their baby growing inside her.


“Forever, that’s the whole point. I’ll never leave, luv.” Spike nuzzled her neck, drawing small circles on her skin with his tongue, running down to her shoulders, taking particular care to trace the bite marks on her neck, his marks, which had completely covered those that the Master had left there.


Buffy felt water lapping at her feet. “The tides coming in,” she remarked, but didn’t move. The water was warm, soothing and rising further, now over her knees, to mid thigh.


“Spike, wake up, something’s wrong.”


Buffy and Spike woke with a start.


“What’s wrong?” Spike was already reaching for the bedside light.


“My water broke. It’s time.” Buffy was amazingly calm, perhaps still from the calming sensation of their dream. Ever since their wedding night, they had shared dreams – sometimes she would be in his, sometimes he would join hers. Not every dream, but enough to know what Spike had said about the bonding was true; they were really connected now on every level.


Spike jumped up and pulled on his jeans before helping Buffy up and into the bathroom to clean up. Spike called her mom and Giles to let them know that what was going on, then went downstairs to pull the car around to the front of the mansion for the trip to the hospital.

**~**

The doctor was talking to her. “Ok, Buffy, on the next contraction you need to really push hard, it’s almost there, I can see its head.”


“No, No, I don’t think I can push anymore.” Buffy was breathless, sweat dripped from every pore, her hair was matted to her head and she was exhausted from hours of childbirth – or at least, trying to make the child birth. “Can’t you just take it out?”


“Buffy, luv, you can do this. I know you can, you’re strong. You’re the strongest woman I've ever known,” Spike was trying to be encouraging.


“You! You don’t talk to me! You did this to me! Next time, just eviscerate me and use my guts for garters, ‘K? Cause this? Not happening again!” Buffy addressed Spike with a deadly look. “Soul my ass. If you had a soul, you would’ve just killed me in my sleep like any respectable vampire!”


Spike had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, which he knew would be very, very bad. When he’d regained his composure he said, “Right, luv, got it. Guts for garters. Be my pleasure.”


Buffy cut her eyes at him but couldn’t respond because another contraction was coming. “Oh, God!”


The doctor was talking again, “PUSH NOW! Push hard! A little more. Just one more time. One more, Buffy! A little more.” Buffy thought if that doctor said “one more” one more time, she might eviscerate her. Instead, Buffy screamed an ear piercing scream and pushed with every ounce of strength she had left.


“That’s it Buffy, we’ve got it! It’s perfect! It’s a girl!”

**~**


Cleaned up and wrapped in pink blankets, Buffy held their daughter while Spike stood at the bedside peering down at the tiny bundle in her arms.


“She looks just like you, Spike! Look at her eyes! And cheek bones! Oh my God, she’s beautiful! Oh, she’s gonna’ break all the little boy’s hearts.”


And Buffy was right, the little girl did look an awful lot like Spike, but he could see Buffy in the little face, too. The Monks hadn’t lied; it really was their baby, made from both of them. Spike clenched his jaw and shut his eyes to hold back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.


“She’s beautiful, luv, just like you.” He was really glad that ‘perfect happiness’ clause to the soul curse had been revoked, because in this moment, he would have lost it. He still wasn’t convinced he needed the sodding thing, but, at times like this, it seemed important.


Buffy’s mom came in and gushed over the baby, repeating many of the same observations that Buffy had made about how much she looked like William. “So, what’s her name?” she looked expectantly between Buffy and Spike.


“Anne Joyce Summers-Weckerly,” Buffy announced, looking at Spike. They had talked about lots of names over the last months, but never really pinned down any one. It wasn’t until Buffy finally got Spike to tell her his mother’s name that she had silently decided on the name if it was a girl; if it was a boy, then she would have gone with William.


Spike smiled back at Buffy and could no longer contain the tears that had been threatening. Leaning in to give her a kiss, he murmured, “I love you, both.”

**~**

As Spike wheeled Buffy and Annie out of the hospital the next night, they passed an obviously deranged man who seemed drawn to Buffy and the baby. Spike stepped between them before the man got too close, but couldn’t stop the man from talking about the “pretty green light . . . such pretty light . . . shiny green . . . bright," as he looked down at the baby. Buffy’s throat tightened at his words and Spike pushed the man further away before taking his place behind the wheelchair again and getting Buffy out to the car.


“What to do you think that meant?” Buffy asked when they were situated with Annie in the car seat and Buffy in the back beside her.


“Dunno, luv. Could just be the prattling of a crazy. Dru said stuff like that often enough,” Spike tried to assure her.


“Yeah, I guess.” But Buffy wasn’t really convinced that it was nothing.

**~**

Spike and Buffy were at the beach again, it was one of her favorite dreams and she loved that he could be there with her. Sometimes they would make love in the dreams, wake up in each other’s arms and then actually make love. Other times, like tonight, they would just walk along the shore and talk.


“Spike, can I ask you something?”


“Anything, luv.” Spike kicked a bare foot at the water as they walked along in the surf.


“Did you share dreams with Dru?” This was something Buffy had wondered for a while, but was sort of afraid to ask.


“Yeah, a bit, at first. But, you know Dru, crazy, yeah?” Spike twirled a finger next to his temple. “Being in her dreams was a bit like jumpin’ down the rabbit hole while on a really bad acid trip.” Now he twirled a finger from each hand at his temples, doubling the craziness quota. “So, I stopped doin’ that right quick.”


“You can stop?” Buffy asked, concerned.


“It takes a bit of practice, yeah? But I can stop coming into your dreams, you can stop letting me in, too.”


“Sooo, if I want to have one of my erotic dreams about Principal Snyder, I can dis-invite you that night?” Buffy smiled slyly at Spike who pursed his lips together, making the hollow of his cheeks that much more sexy, and replied, “Well, you can TRY.”


Buffy laughed and took hold of his hand as they continued walking. “So, when did you drop acid?”


“Never directly dropped acid, sort of dropped a guy who dropped acid . . . at Woodstock," he said matter-of-factly.


"Makes the earth stop rotating around the sun and instead, it rotates around you, with lots of pretty colors.” Spike sing-songed the last words in an imitation of Dru while holding his hands up and wiggling all his fingers in front of his eyes.


Buffy raised a brow at him and he shrugged. “It was the 60’s, luv. Ya’ had to be there.”


She laughed and grabbed his hand back as they continued walking down the beach.

**~**


Over the next months, they settled into a new routine that included Annie in nearly everything they did. There were plenty of willing babysitters and, although neither Spike nor Buffy wanted to leave Annie with anyone else, sometimes it was necessary if there was a particularly bad demon or vamp nest that needed to be taken out and Faith needed their help or if Faith was away. Faith was spending more and more time in L.A. with Angel, and, as her Watcher, Wesley would go with her on those trips north, leaving the Hellmouth to Buffy, Spike and the Scoobies.


Cordelia had also moved to L.A. to follow her dream to be an actress, but, according to reports from Faith, Cordelia was actually working for Angel most of the time. Xander had met a new girl, Anya. Apparently, she was a 1,000 year old ex-vengeance demon with an innate ability to state the painfully obvious, sometimes at the most inappropriate times. But, she did have good knowledge of the demon world, as well as different dimensions, and had been helpful dealing with some demons they’d faced on the Hellmouth.


Buffy was able to pass all her high school classes with Spike’s and Willow’s help and graduated with her friends from Sunnydale High in an uneventful, extremely boring, graduation ceremony.


Buffy’s mom and Spike wanted her to sign up for full time college courses the following fall at UC Sunnydale, but she resisted, not wanting to spend that much time away from Annie. So, they compromised, and she signed up for one class, Psych 101, which Willow took with her.


Spike kept his ear to the ground, as it were, with the demon community, to try and forestall any organized demon/vampire assaults or end of the world plans. Recently, there were lots of rumors flying around about army-type commandos capturing demons and vampires, but no one had any real solid information on them. Buffy and Spike had seen some fatigue wearing guys out and about at different times while they were patrolling, but never could get close enough to get a good look at them or see what was going on. This was something that they needed to check into further, thus the calling of the current Scooby meeting.


“Why are we even worried about these guys? I mean, taking down demons and vampires? Yaaa! Right? Less for us to worry about,” Xander questioned the group.


Spike sat at one end of the table, bouncing the nine month old Annie gently on his knee while Buffy sat at the other end, the rest of the group, Oz, Xander, Anya and Willow were in the middle while Giles paced around the perimeter.


“Perhaps, Xander,” Giles started. “but we don’t know what they’re doing with them. Why go to the trouble of capturing them? Why not simply kill them and be done with it?”


“Maybe they’re studying them, you know . . . to find out the best way to kill the different ones . . . scientific and all,” Willow chimed in.


“Then why take all the vamps? There’s no mystery in killing them,” Buffy commented.


“Sounds like you need to use Spike as bait and have him see what they’re doing first hand,” Anya offered.


“We are NOT using my husband as bait! Bait-y things tend to get sucked off the hook and swallowed,” Buffy was adamant.


Spike cocked an eyebrow at Buffy’s double entendre, but ignored it and said, “Demon bird’s got a point, Buffy. It may be the only way to find out who they are and what they’re doin’.”


Anya smiled triumphantly.


“Spike, what if they haul you away and dust you?” Buffy wasn’t going to accept this plan.


Giles spoke up, “Buffy, do you have another idea as to how to gain access to what these commandos are doing?”


“No,” Buffy admitted meekly. “But there has to be something other than making Spike all bait-y . . . Hey, maybe we could get Angel, let him be bait-y!” she suggested hopefully.


“Noooo,” Spike pulled the word out across his tongue in a low hiss. “This is our town and we’ll handle it.”


At the change in his tone, Annie started to fuss on Spike’s knee. He turned her around and pulled her to his chest. “It’s ok Little Bit, Angel won’t be coming ‘round . . . no need to cry now. Repeat after me, ‘Angel’s a poof’.”


Buffy rolled her eyes. “That’s gonna be real funny when the first word she says is ‘Angel’.”


“Say ‘Papa’s the Big Bad’,” Spike amended, and Buffy rolled her eyes again.


Looking back at Buffy, Spike continued his argument. “If they were dusting the vamps, they would just do it, Buffy. They’re taking them somewhere for some reason. They aren’t just gonna go to the trouble of hauling them off and then dust them after all that.”


Spike wasn’t backing down. “All we have to do is find some of these guys, let me walk into them, they’ll take me to . . . where-ever . . . . Willow can do a locator spell and Bob’s your uncle!”


Buffy leaned forward in her chair. “No, Bob’s NOT your uncle . . . even if they don't dust you, how do we get you back out? These are army guys, they must have some kind of, oh, I don’t know, DEFENSE against people just waltzing in to their . . . ’where-evers’ . . . and shockingly, maybe even a way to keep the prisoners from waltzing back out. We need to find another way. Maybe we can capture some of these commandos and get them to talk.”


Buffy loved Spike, but his strength was in action, not in making plans – he just wanted to get out there and do something, and she could appreciate that, but sometimes a little hint of a plan wasn’t a bad thing.


Giles was worried about this last idea. “Buffy, presumably, these are humans. You can’t slay them.”


“I didn’t say slay, just a little, persuasion, might be necessary. OOO!! We could put them in a room with Spike and tell them we were gonna’ turn them if they didn’t talk! If they’re all over-the-top with the anti-vamp-ness, that might scare them enough to spill!”


“Yeah, and if they don’t talk, I can go ahead and turn them and then they’ll talk for sure,” Spike’s voice dripped in sarcasm. “Plus, bonus – minions! They can clean the bloody windows for us!”


"Minions clean windows?" Buffy asked, looking curiously at Spike.


Ignoring her and changing to a serious tone, Spike continued. “Buffy, if we capture them and they don’t talk you’re gonna have to let them go – then what? They’ll know who we are, where we live and bugger all. They’ll come back and blow the whole sodding place up with us in it.”


Buffy sighed. “Well, I don’t like any of these plans so far. Can we just think about this a while before we do anything rash?”

**~**

December, 1999:


“What are you?”


Buffy was face to face with Riley Finn, mild mannered TA in her Psych class by day, apparently one of the commando’s they had been looking for, by night.


The Scoobies had yet to come up with a working plan on how to infiltrate the commandos and then had gotten distracted by the Gentlemen, stealing their voices and stealing hearts from their victims.


Buffy had found their stronghold and had been more than a little surprised when Riley Finn, dressed in fatigues and carrying one of the commando’s taser guns, had shown up to fight them, as well. Spike had been patrolling in a different section of town, so Buffy faced Riley alone now that the Gentlemen had been, well, blown up by her voice.


“What are YOU?” Riley responded.


“I asked first,” Buffy retorted.


“Ok,” Riley started. “Agent Riley Finn of the Initiative. You?”


“Buffy Summers, The Slayer.” Buffy put her hands on her hips and stared him down. “What do you do?”


“What do you do?” Riley shot back.


“Are we gonna’ play this game all night? I asked you first,” Buffy replied impatiently.


Riley sighed. “It’s classified.”


“Uh-huh. Well, let me tell you what I THINK you do. You capture demons and vampires, probably have some very official name for them, right? Then you what? Play dress up with them? Keep them for household chores? You’re in my town, you’re on my turf and you’re stepping on my toes. Get out.” Buffy was really tired of playing this game with him.


“Your town? What does that mean? What’s a Slayer, anyway?” Riley was a little concerned that this girl did know sort of what the Initiative did, if not all the details.


“Slay-er comma The,” Buffy replied in clipped tones. “Look it up.”


Riley looked around the room at the dead demons and then at the girl in front of him who had effectively fought her way through them and knew the key to killing them. “I need to report this to Dr. Walsh. Maybe we can . . . continue this conversation later. It sounds like we’re on the same side, Buffy.”


“Dr. Walsh? As in Professor Walsh?” Buffy asked. “She's in charge of your little game?”


“It’s not a game, it’s an official military operation designed to reduce and study the HST population!” Riley divulged more than he intended, but Buffy calling it a ‘game’ pissed him off.


“HST?” Buffy questioned.


“Hostile sub-terrestrials.” Now it was Riley’s turn to speak in clipped tones. “I have to go.” He turned on his heel and headed out of the clock tower.


**~**


“What are you gonna do, Buffy?” Willow was asking after Buffy convened the group to let everyone know what she'd found out. Even though it wasn’t much, it was something.


“I dunno’. I’m thinking I might be able to get more information out of Riley. He was all ‘it’s classified’, but he buckled pretty quickly when I started insulting his precious operation. He thinks we’re on the same side, we can use that to our advantage,” Buffy was thinking aloud.


“Not to be all with the obvious, but aren’t we on the same side?” Xander chimed in to the conversation. “They’re killing demons, we kill demons . . . where’s the bad?”


Buffy disagreed. “But they’re not killing demons, they’re taking them. Why, I don’t know; but I don’t see how any good could come from that.”


Buffy was convinced whatever the Initiative was up to, it needed to be stopped.

Time line:
December, 1999. Buffy is a Freshman in college, Annie is about 10 months old.

**~**

“So, you’re married?” Riley was asking her.


“Yeah, kind of a side effect of the pregnancy.” Buffy rolled her eyes like it wasn’t a big deal that she was married. She was doing her best to be charming and get as much information out of Riley as possible.


They sat in the back of the Bronze where they could talk without yelling over the music. Willow and Spike sat a few tables away as backup. Willow couldn’t hear the conversation, but Spike, of course, could.


Buffy laid her hand on top of Riley’s where it rested on the table and smiled. “So, did you talk to Dr. Walsh? Do you think we could, you know, work together?” Buffy made the last two words sound seductive, as if she’d said “make love” instead of “work together”.


Spike clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, counting to ten before opening them again to see Buffy laughing at something the Soldier Boy had said and leaning in towards him like she was ready to tear his clothes off. Spike knew this was the plan, charm information and maybe even an invite into the operation out of the boy, but it didn’t mean he had to like it.


Willow laid her hand on Spike’s shoulder and said, “It’s just an act, Spike.”


Spike nodded, but it didn’t help the churning in his stomach to see Buffy act like a dizzy, horny bint with this ponce.


Spike got up, grabbed his duster and headed for the door. “Be outside. Need a smoke,” he called over his shoulder to Willow.


Spike leaned against the wall next to the back door of the Bronze smoking his cigarette. He didn’t smoke around Buffy and Annie, but there were times when it really helped calm his nerves, like now.


“Spike? Spikey!?”


Spike looked down the alley to see Harmony coming towards him. Bloody hell, he thought and rolled his eyes. He really didn’t need this.


“Spikey! How have you been, baby?” She was close to being too close and he put one hand on her shoulder to keep her at arm’s length.


“Harm . . .” he started when suddenly everything went black.


**~**


Inside, Buffy was talking and joking with Riley, trying to get more information, or even a tour of their operation, when she suddenly felt like she’d been hit by a truck. She fell off the stool she was sitting on before Riley could catch her. In a moment, Riley and Willow were both by her side as she looked up from her position on the floor, dazed. “Spike,” she said before passing out again.


Leaving Buffy with Riley, Willow ran out to the alley where she’d seen Spike go, but there was no one there. She ran to the end of building and looked up and down the street. “SPIKE!” she called. Nothing. Walking back to the door, Willow saw Spike’s lighter on the ground. Spike wouldn’t just leave it, she knew. She picked it up and went back to Buffy who had woken up and was seated in a chair, sipping some water.


“Buffy, are you ok? I think . . . if you can . . . I think we better . . . umm . . . go.” Willow looked at Buffy then at Riley and back again. Buffy looked behind her friend for Spike and back to Willow’s pleading eyes.


“Yeah, ok, I’m ok, I just . . . I don’t know what happened. That’s never happened before.” She started to get up and wavered a bit before Riley caught her elbow to steady her.


“Are you sure? Do you need me to take you home?” He was really sincere; she might have even liked the guy if the situation was different.


“No, really, I’m fine . . . I don’t think . . . umm . . . don’t think my husband would appreciate me being brought home by . . .” she let her voice trail off, not really sure how to finish that sentence.


“Of course.” Riley stepped away as Willow held Buffy’s other elbow and began guiding her out the back door.


When they were outside, Willow explained what happened with Spike. “Can you feel him?” she asked Buffy.


“No.” Buffy looked around the alleyway. “But whatever knocked me on my ass, is what hit Spike. I’m thinkin’ stun gun.”


“The Initiative,” Willow concluded. “He’s not . . . not dusted . . . right?”


“No, I’d know if that happened, it’s like he’s not taking calls – maybe unconscious? Let’s go, we need a new plan.” Buffy turned and walked quickly out of the alley and back towards the mansion. Willow followed in her wake.


**~**

“We captured this pair together, Dr. Walsh. Would you like them separated or left together?”


Dr. Walsh looked the pair of blond vampires over before responding to the agent who was addressing her. “You can leave them together. Place them in the Motivation Study holding cells rather than the Behavior Modification section.”


Dr. Walsh was pleased; obviously, these two were a couple. They had so little information about how vampires functioned as part of a couple, what drove them, what their motivations were. This would be an excellent pair to study.


**~**


“So, Dr. Walsh, I thought that I could be a real asset to you in your operation. Riley has told me a little about what you do and I think it’s fascinating.” On Monday morning Buffy was in Dr. Walsh’s office, addressing her Psych Professor and Riley Finn. “I really think I can help. I’ve been fighting the demons here on the Hellmouth for years, I know where they live, where they hide and I’m much stronger than I look.”


Buffy hoped it would be enough to get her into the operation, to find Spike before something terrible happened to him. Willow tried several times to do a locator spell on him, but wherever he was, the magic was being blocked. She couldn't find him.


It had been two nights since he’d been taken and Buffy had finally been able to contact him in a dream the night before. He didn’t have a lot of information to give her, though. Didn’t see who it was or what it was that had hit him. He was in a holding cell and it was definitely the Initiative, but beyond that, he had no way to help her find him and so far, he’d had no chance for escape. Then it felt like a door shut and she couldn’t contact him again after that.


“Yes, I think that would be an excellent idea, Buffy. You know, we really didn’t think that the myth of a Vampire Slayer was true, until Riley met you.” Buffy pulled her thoughts from Spike back to what Dr. Walsh was saying. “Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I’ll secure clearance for you and give you a tour of the operation and we’ll discuss how we can work together from there.”


“Tomorrow? Why wait for tomorrow? I always say, don’t put off what you can do today . . ." Buffy suggested hopefully.


“See you tomorrow, Buffy, after class?” Dr. Walsh dismissed her.


“Right, tomorrow,” Buffy said dejectedly and left Dr. Walsh’s office.


Buffy tried all the rest of that day and night to reach Spike and let him know that she would be there soon, but she could get only fragments, short glimpses, into his mind and never long enough to get more than an impression of what was happening to him. Sometimes it felt like he was sleeping, but several times she could feel intense pain. They were obviously torturing him . . . maybe to find out what a vampire could stand. She curled up on their bed and cried from frustration that she hadn’t protected him and that she could only sit now and wait while he endured God knows what.


**~**


“So, where do you keep the HST’s?” Buffy was asking Dr. Walsh as they toured the unbelievably huge cavern under the UC Sunnydale campus that made up the Initiative’s headquarters.


“We have a couple of holding areas, the Behavior Modification section, where the HST’s are implanted with microchips which are designed to keep them from hurting humans, and the Motivation Study section where we study the HST’s behavior and their motivations, what drives them and how they relate to each other. We can include what we learn from these studies into the Behavior Modification chips.”


Buffy didn’t like the sound of either of these holding sections and wondered which one Spike was in.


“I’ll let Riley show you around the holding facilities, I have another meeting I need to attend now. I really hope we can work together, Buffy, I think we can really help each other.” And with that, Dr. Walsh turned and walked away, leaving Buffy and Riley walking down a long corridor of holding cells. There were lots of vampires, but also all types of other demons in the cells. She recognized most of the types of demons, but not all. Some she knew were harmless and she had never really bothered with them, but apparently, the Initiative didn’t make that distinction. She looked hopefully in each cell they came to for Spike, but he wasn’t in any of them.


When they came to the end of corridor she asked, “Is that all the cells?”


“No, there’s the Study section. I don’t normally go in there,” Riley replied.


“Well, I’d like to,” Buffy insisted.


“Sure, ok.” Riley lead her to another locked door, opening it with his key card he allowed her to step inside ahead of him. Buffy knew Spike was there immediately upon entering, she could feel the familiar tingling on the back of her neck growing stronger as she walked slowly down the corridor. There weren’t as many cells here as the other holding area and it didn’t take her long to find him.


He was lying on the floor of the cell on his side, his back to her and as far away from the corridor where she was as he could get. He appeared to be naked, his lower half was covered with a white sheet, which was stained with blood. His back was visible to her and covered in burns, bruises and cuts.


Buffy cried out involuntarily when she saw him and she ran up to the clear electrical barrier that kept him prisoner. “Spike!”


Spike moaned as he rolled slowly over onto his back at the sound of his name, his face and chest were also covered in bruises, burns and cuts, but it was what was lying on the floor on his other side that drew Buffy’s attention. “Harmony?”


Harmony propped herself up on one elbow, holding the sheet up under her arms, to look over Spike towards Buffy. She didn’t appear to have a scratch on her. “Buffy!”


“You know these vampires?” Riley had walked up behind her.


“Yes, he’s my . . . ummm . . . yes, I went to high school with Harmony,” Buffy stammered. “What the hell are you doing with them?”


Riley shrugged. “I just bag and tag, ‘em, Buffy. I don’t really know what they do here; study their behavior?” he offered.


Spike hadn’t moved from where he’d rolled onto his back, the side of his leg now protruding from the sheet he shared with Harmony confirming is nakedness and the fact that he’d recently been beaten on his legs with what looked like a switch or a cane.


“What are you PERVERTS here or something? You put them together and watch them do it? What, you sell the DVD’s on the internet? That how you finance this little operation?” Buffy was furious as she turned on Riley.


Riley, unprepared for her reaction, stepped back and put his hands up in surrender. “Buffy, what’s the big deal? They’re just vampires!”


Buffy’s fist slammed into Riley’s jaw with enough force to send him flying backwards down the corridor. Racing to where he lay unconscious, she grabbed his security card and quickly opened the cell that held Spike and Harmony.


Harmony had jumped up at the commotion and wrapped the sheet around herself, leaving Spike laying beaten and naked on the floor. Buffy ran to him. “Spike. Spike! Can you hear me? Can you walk?”


Spike moaned and rolled his head back and forth on the floor. FUCK! Buffy didn’t know what she expected to find, but this hadn't made her top ten list.


Buffy took her coat off and threw it at Harmony. “Give me that sheet!” When Harmony didn’t move, Buffy yanked it away from her and Harmony scrambled into Buffy’s coat, which was too small, but covered most of her. Buffy hadn’t intended on a full out rescue today, it was supposed to be recon so she could make a plan on how to get Spike out, but there was no way she was leaving without him now.


Buffy wrapped Spike in the sheet and hefted him over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry, heading back to where Riley lay, she grabbed the taser from his belt and kicked him in the ribs. “WAKE UP!” When he didn’t move she did it again. “WAKE THE FUCK UP!”


He finally responded with a moan.


“GET UP!” she ordered, as he looked up at her from where he was sprawled on the floor.


“Buffy . . . what . . . what are you doing?” Riley was trying to comprehend what was going on.


“GET UP! We’re leaving.” She pressed the taser into his ribs. “GET UP NOW!”


Riley struggled back to his feet.


“Where’s the closest way out of here?” she asked, the taser still pressed into his ribs.


Riley nodded towards the door they’d come in. “Only way out.”


“Let’s go.” She pushed Riley ahead of her towards the door. Spike was moaning and only semi-conscious on her shoulder; Harmony followed behind them. On the way out of the room, she swiped Riley’s security card through the control box that read “Main Lock” and looked behind her as all the force fields holding the HST’s suddenly dropped.


Buffy was in Slayer mode and royally pissed off. “Don’t say a word – you walk in front of me towards the exit. If you say one word to anyone, I’ll not only tase you, I’ll stick it up your ass and twist. And don’t think I can’t. You got me?!”


Riley nodded and walked slowly towards the elevator they had come down on. As they passed the other containment area, Buffy stopped him. Opening the main door with the card, she swiped it in the “Main Lock” control box just inside the door and all the HST’s in that area were released, as well.


“GO!” she ordered and shoved the taser harder into Riley's ribs.


Alarms were starting to sound behind them and she heard people shouting and gun fire as the HST’s broke down the main doors to their containment areas. As they neared the elevator, a Faracall demon attacked them. Buffy hit it with the stun gun, but it barely made the demon hesitate. Buffy couldn’t fight and carry Spike, too. She ducked the blow the demon threw at her, but lost her balance, tumbling her and Spike to the ground. Riley took that opportunity to get away from her, running back to where the main fighting was going on with the now loose HST’s to get a weapon and bring back help.


Buffy screamed at Harmony, “Get Spike in the elevator!” before sending the demon that was attacking her backward with a roundhouse kick.


“I don’t take orders from you!” Harmony stood with her hands on her hips and glared at Buffy.


Buffy forgot how utterly stupid Harmony was. “You want to stay undead? Get Spike on the elevator!”


The demon had stumbled back from Buffy’s kick, but quickly recovered and landed a hard right punch on Buffy’s jaw while she was distracted with Harmony. Buffy went down, but swept her leg out at the same time, tripping the demon. Harmony was still just standing there, indignant. Buffy jumped up and grabbed Harmony’s arm, slinging her on top of the demon as it was trying to get up. That bought her a little time and Buffy hoisted Spike back up on her shoulder and raced as fast as she could towards the elevator.


When she got to the elevator, the doors were closed. She pressed the button. Nothing. SHIT! There had to be another way out and she needed to find it now.


“Sewer,” she heard Spike say from over her shoulder, as if he’d read her mind. Buffy looked around the area, they must be below the sewers down here. She looked up – air ducts. Buffy clung close to the wall as she made her way with Spike towards a set of stairs that led to the upper level. Several commandos ran past her, but seemed to be more concerned with the fight in the main area behind her than with worrying about who she was and what she was doing carrying a body wrapped in a sheet.


Making her way upstairs, she stopped next to a large air duct. Setting Spike down, she wrapped her fingers through the grate and pulled hard. It took a few times, but the grate finally gave and came off in her hands. Tossing it aside she peered into the opening, it was big enough for her to crawl in on hands and knees with Spike on her back, she hoped it stayed that big the further it went, but she didn’t have a choice now, she had to get out of here before Riley decided to track her down.


“Spike . . . Spike, can you hear me?” she leaned close to his ear. He nodded slightly.


“Do you think you can hang on to me? I can’t hold you and crawl, too. You have to hang on to my neck, ok, baby?”


Spike nodded again.


Buffy hoisted him up on his feet, leaned him against the wall and pressed her back into him to hold him there. She pulled his arms down over her shoulders and then wrapped them tightly around her neck. Leaning forward, she went down to all fours, bringing Spike down to rest on her back.


“OK, baby, you need to hold onto my neck, now.” She felt his arms tighten slightly around her neck as she started crawling through the opening of the air duct.


It seemed like she had crawled ten miles when they finally came to a grate on the floor of the air duct. Spike’s legs dragged against hers, making crawling through the small space that much harder. Her jeans were torn clean through at the knees and her knees and hands were shredded and bloody from the seams where the metal air duct was put together. Looking down, she could see that it did, indeed, open into the sewers. Deciding that walking through the sewers was preferable to crawling any further, she crawled past the grate and turned slightly sideways to slide Spike off her back in the small space.


"Ok, baby, let go now.” Spike released his hold on her neck and slid off her back down onto the cold metal that made up the duct.


Buffy backed up to the other side of the grate and tugged on it until it came free, tossing it down into the sewer and off to the side of the opening. It was probably a fifteen foot drop to the floor of the sewer below.


“Ok, Spike, I’m gonna have to drop you first and then I’ll be right down, ok?” She got no answer from him, she didn’t know if he could understand what she was saying or not.


Leaning over the opening from the opposite side, she pulled Spike’s feet and guided them down into the sewer below, followed by his legs and hips, then his torso started going and she grabbed him under the arms and lowered him as far as she could before letting him drop. He landed with a splash in the dirty water, face down, the sheet that had been around him snagged on the opening and hung like some kind of demon laundry. She grabbed the sheet and tossed it down before jumping down herself, careful to avoid landing on him.


Thank goodness vampires don’t have to breathe, she thought as she turned him over and pulled him out of the disgusting water. She wrapped him as best should could again in the sheet and hoisted him back to her shoulder. She was exhausted. She hadn’t slept well for the last three days and the adrenaline that had driven her in the Initiative was gone now, leaving her feeling sapped. She didn’t know where they were and was afraid of going the wrong way, but decided that going the same way they had been traveling in the air duct would be the best and, when she found a manhole, she could climb up and see where they were. Maybe find a phone and call Xander or Giles or even her mom to come get them.


One foot in front of the other, one foot, one foot . . . she repeated the mantra to herself as she trudged through the muck. She had long ago stopped smelling it, but she could taste it in her mouth just like she had taken a drink of the offending grossness at her feet. Spike would stir on her shoulder every now and then and she’d tell him it was ok and ask him to just relax and he would stop moving and lapse back into semi-consciousness.


Finally, they reached a ladder leading to the street. She set Spike down, out of the water as much as she could get him, and pulled herself up the ladder. She listened when she got to the top trying to hear if there were any people or cars nearby before she slid the cover off and poked her head up. They were near the Bronze, it was dark out now and no one seemed to be about. She wasn’t sure how she could get Spike up the ladder and out of the manhole by herself, though.


She climbed back down to where Spike was. “Ok, baby, I’m gonna have to go get some help. We’re at the Bronze, but I can’t get you out of here by myself.” She hoped he understood her.


Spike grabbed her wrist. “No.” It was barely a whisper.


“Baby, I can’t get you out . . .”


“No,” he repeated, louder this time.


“Do you think you can climb out?” Buffy asked him, she didn’t see how he could, but it was obvious he didn’t want her to leave him here.


“Yeah.”


“Ok, I’ll get you to the top, but you’ll have to climb through the hole, ok? Are you ready?”


Buffy looked at him, he didn’t look ready, in fact, he looked worse than when she first saw him in the Initiative. He must have been beaten again just before she got there, because there were new bruises blossoming on his face and chest that hadn’t been there before, and Buffy knew they weren't from anything she’d done getting him out.


Spike nodded and Buffy pulled him to his feet. Buffy stood Spike in front of the ladder. She stood behind him and lifted him, one foot at time, up the ladder. Each time she got him up one more rung, she would move up behind him and start again, one more rung, one more, one more until they were to the open manhole and the street. At the top, he pulled with his arms and she lifted as much as she could from below him until he finally clawed his way free of the opening and rolled over on his back in exhaustion. Buffy followed him quickly, replacing the manhole cover and hoisting him back over her shoulder.


“We’ll be home soon,” she said. She didn’t know if he could hear her or not.

Time line:
Same night that Buffy rescued Spike from the commandos.
December, 1999. Buffy is a Freshman in college, Annie is about 10 months old.

**~**

When Riley got back to the main area where the fighting with the HST’s was the worst, he left the thought of going back after Buffy behind. He’d have to deal with her later; his comrades needed his help containing the HST’s that Buffy had released.


There was gun fire and screaming coming from all over the complex, he grabbed some weapons from the armory and joined in the fighting.


When the HST’s were all finally either contained or destroyed, Riley surveyed the damage. Most of the men were dead, all of the doctors that worked in the restricted areas had been killed by the HST’s as they had no weapons or way to escape the assaults. He continued searching for Dr. Walsh, but hadn’t found her. The final area for him to search was area 314. It normally had the most restricted access, but now, HST’s had torn the door from its hinges, leaving the once secure area completely open. He entered and found even more doctors and technicians dead; in the very last room he found Dr. Walsh, stabbed through the chest. He fell to her side, checking her pulse. She was cold.


Riley felt a rage build inside of him like he’d never felt before, I’m gonna kill that mother fucking bitch if it’s the last thing I do! I’ll feed her blood to her vampire friends! What had she called them? Spike and Harmony, that’s it. Maybe I’ll tie the little Slayer up and let SPIKE and HARMONY do their worst! Killing would be too good for her! I’ll let them turn her, then I’ll dust them all!


Riley was shaken from his plans for revenge by someone behind him yelling, “Soldier!” Riley looked back and saw a man he didn’t recognize. “Fall in soldier! We’re getting out of here. The operation’s been compromised, we’re abandoning the project. Move it – bug out in ten minutes!”


**~**


Buffy trudged up the stairs, Spike still on her shoulder, and headed for the bathroom. She put Spike down as gently as she could in the tub and collapsed to her knees beside it. She laid her hands on the edge of the tub, let her head fall onto her hands and closed her eyes. She couldn’t remember ever being so tired in all her life.


She was glad that Annie was at her mom’s; at least she didn’t have to worry about her right now. Buffy leaned over and turned on the water, she knew it would be cold to start, but she didn’t think she could lift Spike out of the tub to wait for the warm water to make it through the old pipes.


Spike jumped when the cold water hit him. “I’m sorry, baby. It’ll be warm in a second.” Although Buffy knew cold doesn’t usually bother vampires, and certainly wouldn’t kill them, they do feel it, and warm is much more comfortable than cold.


Buffy pulled the stained and ripped sheet from around him, letting the shower beat down on his prone form to rinse as much of the grime and blood from him as possible. She dropped her own clothes and stood between his feet, using the hand-held shower to rinse the grime off herself, too, before putting the stopper in the tub and filling it with warm water. Buffy slid into the tub behind him, his back to her front, as she took a wash cloth and soap and started washing the remaining crud from their bodies, careful to avoid re-opening any of Spike's wounds. Spike came in and out of consciousness, Buffy shampooed his hair and rinsed it with the hand-held, taking care not to let soap run in his eyes, and then did the same to her own hair. Finally convinced she’d gotten them both as clean as she could, she let the tub drain then used the hand-held shower one last time to rinse any remaining soap off.


When she was done, she carried Spike back to their room and laid him on the bed. She dried him off with a towel as much as she could and covered him with the sheet and blanket. Going to the other side of the bed, she called Giles and gave him the Reader’s Digest version of the events of the last few hours before crawling in next to Spike and collapsing into an exhausted sleep.


**~**


Giles sent Xander and Oz to Dr. Walsh’s office on campus the next morning after Buffy’s call. There was a sign posted that classes were cancelled until further notice, that Dr. Walsh had to leave unexpectedly and classes would resume when a replacement had been selected. They also stopped by Riley’s frat house. The place was completely empty, as if no one had ever been there.


**~**


Buffy heard something pounding and covered her head with a pillow, but the infernal noise wouldn’t stop. “Buffy!? Buffy are you in there? It’s me, Willow, can I come in? I have fooood and bloood.” Willow sing-songed the last words trying to tempt the silent occupants of the bedroom into rising.


“Willow?” she heard Buffy moan her name from the other side of the closed door.


“I know I’m not supposed to be up here, Buffy, but Giles called and told me what happened . . . I thought you might need some help. I’ve got something for you to eat. Can I come in?”


Buffy moaned, uncovered her head and looked over at Spike. He was still under the blanket. It didn’t look like he had moved at all since she laid him down last night. Buffy pulled on a t-shirt and shorts and got up to let Willow in. “Buffy, you look terrible! Your knees . . . God, your hands! Buffy what happened?”


“It’s a long story, Will . . . a long and painful one.” Buffy sat back down on the bed and closed her eyes.


Eying the still form in the bed, Willow asked, “How’s Spike?”


Buffy followed Willow's eyes to her husband’s body, lying motionless in the bed. “Apparently, still undead and still unconscious.” Buffy’s eyes started to well with tears. “They beat him bad, Will.”


“Oh God, Buffy, I’m so sorry.” Willow put the tray of food down on the dresser and sat down next to her friend to bring her into a hug. Buffy hadn’t allowed herself to cry since finding Spike in the Initiative, and all the emotions of the last few days, her fear when he was gone, her anger at the commandos when she saw him in the holding cell, beaten and naked, with Harmony, then the fight to get out and her exhaustion trying to get him home, started coming out as she cried onto her friend’s shoulder.


“Every man’s fantasy, two beautiful birds in m’ bed, and I’m too knackered to do anythin' ‘bout it.”


Willow blushed and stood up quickly as Buffy turned to her husband. “Are you ok, baby?” Buffy wanted to throw herself in his arms, but was afraid she’d hurt him if she did that, so she settled on cradling his cheek in her hand.


“Been better,” he replied tiredly and winced as he tried to sit up against the headboard. Willow gasped when the blanket fell away from his chest to reveal the burns, cuts and bruises there, which made his swollen and blackened eyes look like nothing more than window dressing.


Taking Buffy’s hands in his, he turned them face up and surveyed the damage from the long crawl in the air duct. Buffy tried to hide her knees under the cover, but he caught it and stopped her. “They’ll heal. I’m fine,” she said at his questioning look.


“Did we win?” he asked.


Buffy shrugged. “Didn’t really stay around long enough to find out.”


“I think you did.” Both warriors turned exhausted eyes to Willow, now standing next to the dresser where she’d set the food down. “Dr. Walsh and Riley are gone; the whole frat house has been cleared out. I think you might have won.”


Buffy and Spike nodded and Willow continued. “You should both eat – look, I brought food and blood!” she waved a hand at the tray piled with waffles, eggs, bacon, OJ, and a mug of blood. “It was warm, now maybe not so much . . . you want me to re-warm it?”


“No, it’s fine, Will, thanks so much.” Buffy got up and gave her friend another hug. “I think we’ll eat and then rest a little more before I go pick up Annie from mom’s. Maybe we can have a debriefing with the gang tonight or tomorrow?”


“Listen to you, one night fighting the military and you’re all 'debriefing' and everything!” Willow smiled at her friend. “I’ll tell everyone to meet here tomorrow around three, ok? You’ll feel better then. Get some rest.” Willow turned and left, closing the door behind her.


Buffy turned to Spike and asked, “Can you feed?”


Spike cocked his head and looked at her, brows knit together. “Feed? From a mug? Yeah, think I can, luv.”


“No, feed from me,” Buffy corrected. “You need more than pig's blood.”


“Think you need your strength now, luv. I’ll do on the pig's blood,” Spike assured her.


“I told you, I’m fine. You’re not. Com’on, don’t argue with me.” Buffy looked at him, not sure what position she could get in that wouldn’t hurt the hell out of him but allow him to feed. “How ‘bout I lay down next to you and you can just roll over me, would that be easiest?”


“Buffy, really, you don’t have to . . ."


“I know that,” she cut him off. “I want to. You need more strength than pig's blood can give you.”


Buffy laid down next to him, taking her t-shirt off, pulling her hair out of the way and tilting her head to bare her neck to him. “Com’on, baby.”


Spike winced as he rolled over and laid across her body, she put her hand on the back of his head and pulled him down to her neck. His demon face came up, then his fangs were in her and she could feel him pulling her blood into his mouth. That familiar heat started growing in her core as she shuddered under him in anticipation of what was to come. Closing her eyes, she let the feeling that was building in her take over her entire body as she began to writhe beneath him, her back arched and all her muscles tensed in an involuntary reaction to the building orgasm.


Spike slid a hand under her shorts, slipping a finger between her outer lips, he pressed down hard on her engorged clit. Her hips bucked against the pressure of his hand as she pulled his mouth even harder against her neck and climaxed with a long scream of pleasure.


When her body started to relax under him, Spike pulled his fangs out and switched back to his human face before he licked the wounds on her neck to close them. Despite his weakened state, his cock was throbbing hard from the pleasure of her bucking under him and the power of her blood, which not only sped his healing but was also a strong aphrodisiac.


Buffy took his cock in her hand and began a slow stroke up and down the hard shaft. Spike moaned at her touch and she stopped. “Am I hurting you?”


“No, luv. You feel bloody wonderful.”


Buffy helped him lay back down on his back before starting again. Taking the shaft in her hand, she dropped her head and swirled her tongue around the sensitive head, flicking it lightly over his slit and licking the pre-cum from it before taking the whole head in her mouth and sucking hard.


“God, Buffy! Yes!” Spike’s hips bucked up to meet her as she took more of his length into her mouth and continued sucking hard and flicking her tongue along his shaft as she went down. Moving her hand down, she feathered touches over his balls and across the sensitive skin all the way to his tight ass. Taking her finger and dipping it deep into her pussy, she came back with it dripping cum and circled his ass with it as she continued a slow fuck on his cock with her mouth.


As her strokes up and down his cock increased in speed, she pushed her finger into his ass and started pumping it in and out to match her mouth’s strokes on his cock. “Fuck! Buffy, Jesus, Fuck! Yes!” Spike’s hands were on her head now, directing her speed and depth on his cock as his hips rose to meet her on each of her own down strokes. Spike spilled his cum to her mouth with a final cry of “Yes!” as he held her head down hard on him. She continued to suck hard on his cock and fuck his ass with her finger as she struggled to swallow his cum.


When he was finally spent, his hold on her head eased and she pulled her finger from his ass, but ran it up and down the sensitive skin there with feather touches, causing Spike to tremble beneath her mouth. Pulling up slowly, she licked up and down his length, ending with another slow swirl around the head and a hard lick across the slit, making Spike’s hips jerk involuntarily and bringing another “Christ!” from his lips before she pulled off completely.


Spike pulled her up to lay her head on shoulder, his arm encircling her and holding her body close to his. She ran her fingers tenderly across the burns and gashes on his chest, which had already started to heal. She knew the blood she’d given him would speed that healing even further.


“Why?” she asked quietly as she continued outlining the injuries with her fingers.


“Didn’ give the wankers what they wanted,” Spike answered, just as quietly.


“Harmony didn’t have a mark on her,” Buffy observed.


“Yeah,” he answered simply.


“So, she gave them what they wanted?” Buffy pressed.


“Suppose.” Spike really didn’t want to have this conversation.


Changing tacks, Buffy asked, “How did you end up in there with Harmony?”


“Wrong place, wrong time for both of us I suppose. She was in the alley when I went out for a smoke. Got us both at once, guess they assumed we were together.”


“Oh.” Buffy considered this a moment before continuing. “Why did you shut me out?”


“You didn’t need to see that, feel that.” Spike spoke quietly.


“I might have been able to help . . .” Buffy protested.


“You helped, you got me out. I knew you would.” Spike pressed a kiss onto the top of her head.


“What did they want?” Buffy didn’t give him time to answer before continuing. “I mean, they had you in the Motivation Study group, so obviously, they wanted to study your motivations . . . and you and Harmony were in the only cell that had more than one prisoner in it . . . and, you know, most demons not big on the clothing, but you were the only vamps who were stripped . . .” realization of what they wanted to study finally dawning on Buffy.


“I KNEW they were fucking PERVERTS!” she exclaimed, rising up on one elbow to look at Spike, who couldn’t meet her eyes, which told her everything she needed to confirm her theory.


She laid a hand on his cheek, her voice was soft, “Spike, it’s ok.”


Spike raised his eyes to hers. “Wouldn’ do it,” he said simply. “Wouldn’ play their little game.”


“So they beat you,” Buffy whispered, now fully realizing what had happened, what it was that he wouldn’t give them that they wanted. “You should have just . . ."


“NO!” His exclamation made Buffy jump. He took her hand in his and started again more softly, “No. I knew that’s what you would say ‘n that’s why I shut you out, luv.”


Holding his left hand up to show her his wedding band, he continued. “I made a vow to you and I intend to do everything in my power to keep that promise, and this, this was within my power. I broke a promise to you before, I won’t do it again.”


Buffy felt tears building in her eyes and fought them back. “But they could have killed you . . . and . . . and me and Annie, we need you.”


Spike kissed her hand. “I knew you would come, Buffy.”


“But, what if I had been too late?” The tears started falling now from Buffy’s eyes.


Spike wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb. “If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ were pots and pans, there’d be no work for the tinker’s hands.” Spike smiled at her, Buffy looked at him like he’d just spoken Chinese.


Spike rolled his eyes and started again, “ 'If wishes were horses, beggars would ride; If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ were pots and pans, there’d be no work for the tinker’s hands.’ It’s all part of the same sayin’, luv. It means there’s no use wishing fer things that aren't and no use second guessin’ what’s done. You weren’t too late, so no need to worry ‘bout it, right?”


When Buffy didn’t answer, he asked again, “No worries, right?”


Buffy smiled wanly and said, “Right,” before laying her head back down on his shoulder.


“But I thought if wishes were horses, we’d all have horses . . ."


Spike smiled. “You’re not wrong.”

**~**


The next day at three, the Scoobies gathered at the mansion, as Willow had promised.


“I’m just saying, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea for you to go back there.” Everyone sat around the table, but Buffy was addressing Spike now.


“’N’ I’m not lettin’ you go by yourself,” he countered. “Plus, they have my duster.”


Buffy rolled her eyes. “You’re worried about your coat?”


“Why don’t we all go?” piped in Anya. “You know, safety in numbers? Isn’t that what they say? Although, truly, killing all of us is probably just as easy as killing one. Never mind. Buffy, you go.”


“No, I think Anya's right, we should all go.” Willow looked between Buffy and Spike hopefully, then, giving up, looked at Giles. “Don’t you, Giles?”


“Well, it is certain that someone needs to go back down into the Initiative headquarters and make sure they are actually gone and didn’t leave anything . . . untoward . . . behind,” Giles offered and looked at Buffy. “Perhaps Anya is right, safety in numbers.”


Buffy sighed, they had been having this discussion for fifteen minutes and it was clear that Spike was not going to agree to her going by herself to check out what remained of the Initiative.


“Fine. We’ll all go. Plan to head out right after dark.” Turning her attention to Spike, who held Annie in her traditional Scooby meeting spot atop his bouncing knee. “I’ll call Mom and see if she can come over and babysit for a few hours.”

**~**


The group walked into Riley’s frat house, Buffy and Spike in the lead. As Oz and Xander had reported, the place had been cleared out, completely. There was not one piece of paper, not one stick of furniture remaining.


Heading to the hidden elevator that Riley had used to take Buffy down into the Initiative, Buffy searched for some key to making the mirror across it slide out of the way. Not finding one, she leaned back and kicked hard at the glass, sending it shattering to the ground around her feet. Behind it, where the elevator had been, was now a brick wall.


“You have GOT to be kidding me!” Buffy exclaimed, exasperated.


“Buffy, I know why Spike doesn’t like mirrors, but what'a you got against 'em?” Xander was behind her, looking perplexed as he swept an arm towards the broken glass at her feet.


“There was an elevator here the other day. Behind the mirror,” she explained as the rest of the Scoobies approached.


“Right here?” Spike walked up and put his hand on the wall.


“Yeah.” Buffy sighed, dejectedly. “Guess we get to go through the sewers. I hope I can find it again, I forgot my bread crumbs on the way out."


Spike leaned back and kicked hard at the bricks where Buffy said the elevator had been; they moved slightly under his strength. He kicked again, harder, and the mortar began to crumble. Buffy joined him and, on the third kick under their combined power, the entire wall crumbled, revealing the now empty elevator shaft.


“Ha! I told you it was here!” Buffy said triumphantly. Buffy looked down the shaft, about fifty feet, she estimated, to the bottom, “Look, there’s a maintenance ladder here on the side! Let’s go!”

**~**


The group walked in silence in the huge cavern, it was the first time any of them except Buffy had seen it. Even Spike, who had been here, had only seen the small containment area. During their escape, he was too out of it to take in the enormity of the place.


Just like the Frat house above, most everything that could be moved had been cleared out, except the bodies, both demon and human, and piles of dust that had been vampires at one time.


“They just left them,” Buffy said with disgust as their flash lights scanned the large area. Spike and Buffy walked in front of the group, Giles followed them closely with Willow holding tightly to Oz’s hand behind him; Anya and Xander brought up the rear.


“Probably more cost effective,” Anya opined to the group in general, causing them all to turn and look at her for a moment before continuing on.


In room 314 they found Dr. Walsh's body. In the same room, on what looked like an operating table was a . . . a thing they couldn’t really describe. Part man, part demon, part machine. The group assembled around it trying to figure out just what it was.


“I know this . . . this part of it, we just killed one of those demons the other night,” Buffy said, pointing to the thing’s arm. “What the hell were they doing?” Buffy searched the faces of her friends for answers.


Spike answered her. “Building a better beast, it would appear, luv.” Everyone looked at him with wide eyes.


“To do what with?” Buffy questioned.


Spike shrugged. “Dunno, ‘s the military, right? Maybe use it to fight other beasties . . . or humans.”


“Certainly that would make sense,” Anya offered. “Build your own army, then you don’t have to worry about those pesky wars killing all the young, strong men, so they can be here to provide sex and orgasms for the women.” She smiled and squeezed Xander’s arm. Xander cleared his throat loudly, looking more than a little embarrassed.


“Right then,” Spike broke the ensuing silence. “Guess all the beasties down here are dead and the army brats are gone. I’d say we won.”


Then, turning to scan the rest of the room he said, “I wonder if they left my duster . . .”

Time line:
Starts in December 1999 (the day they go into the Initiative and make sure everyone is gone) and goes through February 2000.

Buffy is a Freshman in college,
Annie is 1 year old,
Buffy and Spike have been married 1 year.

**~**

“Sorry we’re late, Mom!” Buffy called out as she and Spike entered the mansion. Her mom, laying back and watching TV on the couch, had a sleeping Annie in her arms. She put her finger to her lips to silence the pair lest they wake the sleeping infant.


Buffy lowered her voice. “Someone spent two hours looking for his blankie.” Buffy rolled her eyes towards Spike.


“OI!” Spike said, in a stage whisper. “I’ve had this duster a long time! ‘S like m’ second skin.”


“We could have just bought another one. What’s so special about it, anyway?” Buffy countered.


“I’d wager there’s not another one like it in the world, pet,” Spike answered as he lifted the sleeping Annie from Joyce’s arms.


“I’d agree with you about now, it stinks to high heaven with that demon goop on it.” Buffy took the offending coat from Spike before it touched their baby and walked back towards the door with it, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor just inside the threshold.


“So, are they gone?” Joyce asked as she sat up, handing the baby to Spike.


“Yeah, looks like,” Buffy answered. “Hopefully, for good.”


“I left you some dinner in the kitchen. Thought you might be hungry when you got home – Chinese,” Joyce said, rising from the couch and grabbing her own coat.


“Thanks, Mom! You’re the best!” Buffy gave her a hug and started walking with her to the door while Spike started up the stairs with Annie.


Laying his daughter down in her crib, Spike smoothed her hair down gently with the palm of his hand. “Little beauty, you are, Niblett,” he whispered to her. Her hair, which had been light, almost blond, when she was born, was now growing in a dark, chestnut brown. “Guess you’re gonna’ be a raven beauty, after all, little one.” Miss Clairol, bleach and peroxide apparently didn’t pass from generation to generation, he thought blithely. He started a soft lullaby, the one he’d sang to her while she was still in Buffy’s womb, still stroking his hand softly through her hair . . .

{{{{
To hear the song, check this video on YouTube featuring this song

Here's the link:

Early One Morning . .. English Isle Lullaby . . . Cantinela Britanica


}}}}



Early one morning, just as the sun was rising
I heard a maid sing in the valley below
"Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use, a poor maiden so?"


“Don’t worry, Sweet Girl, I’ll never let anything happen to you.” Spike pressed a kiss onto the top of his daughter’s head before slipping silently from her room.


** ~ **


February 14th, 2000:


Everyone was gathered at the mansion for the party. It was a combination of Annie’s first birthday party and Spike and Buffy’s first wedding anniversary. Music was playing in the background and everyone was talking and laughing, when a particularly good song would come on, couples would take to the “dance floor”, which was just the empty floor area in the great room, and sway to the music.


Faith had even come down from L.A. for the occasion, dragging a reluctant Angel with her. Spike, Buffy and Angel had come to tolerate each other over the last year. Angel had long ago apologized to Buffy and Spike for his behavior on what was always just referred to as “that night”. At times Spike and Angel were colleagues, working together on neutralizing the latest nasty, usually because Cordelia had a vision that would bring the two souled vampires together, but they would part ways just as soon as the mission was over.


The first time Cordelia called Spike and told him he was in her vision and he needed to come to L.A., he'd told her to "bugger off". Cordelia, being the meek, doormat of a person she was, called Buffy.


"Spike, the mission comes first. We have to put our petty differences aside," Buffy had told Spike after Cordelia called her.


"Petty!? You call what he did a petty difference!? Fuck the mission! I'm not workin' with Angel," Spike responded.


"So, you're willing to let innocent people die because you can't bury the hatchet? What's done is done, Spike. I didn't get hurt. It's water over the damn, under the bridge and out to sea now."


Spike mumbled something about where he'd like to bury a hatchet, but just said, "FINE!" to Buffy, knowing that he'd never win this argument with her. When it came down to it, he knew Buffy would always come down on the side of the mission.


Buffy studied Faith and Angel as she helped pass the cake out to their guests. Willow was cutting pieces to order: Xander wanted a corner with a flower on it (more icing goodness!), Buffy’s mom just wanted a small piece, Faith didn’t want any, it would mess up the taste of the Champagne and so it went until everyone was served. Buffy sat down with her cake next to Spike at one of the tables they’d set up for the occasion, watching out of the corner of her eye as Faith and Angel sat at the research table, talking, touching, obviously quite comfortable with the touching, Buffy thought.


Buffy looked back at Spike who was holding Annie on his knee and feeding their daughter some cake, or trying to. It looked like more was getting on him than in Annie’s mouth, as she squealed and laughed and flung her arms around. Annie had been a wonderful baby, hardly ever cried; she was a truly happy child. Buffy felt so lucky, watching Spike with Annie, he was so patient and loving with her. Buffy looked back at Angel and Faith and tried to imagine Angel with a baby. She rolled her eyes at the image.


Spike wiped the last of the cake, which had been rained down on him from his daughter, off his arms smiling and shaking his head. How could one child fling cake and icing in so many different directions at once?


“I think your daughter has been possessed by a cake flingin' demon, luv.” He smiled at Buffy, holding up the paper towels covered with cake and icing for her inspection.


“Really? Looks like normal vampire etiquette to me.” She smiled back at him and clarified, “Playing with her food.”


Spike took a bit of the icing and plopped it on the end of Buffy’s nose before quickly leaning in to kiss it off. “Love playing with my food, pet,” he murmured to her.


“Come dance with me,” Spike said as he handed Annie to Joyce and pulled Buffy up, leading her to the open floor. She laced her arms around his neck; he placed his at the small of her back. Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder as she pressed her body against his. As they moved to the music, he sang softly along with the song.


{{{{
To hear the song, check this video on YouTube featuring this song with clips from BtVS - unfortunately, James Marters' music isn't on Itunes - YET! – BAD iTunes, BAD!)

Here's the link:

Looking at You, James Marsters...



}}}}


Every day I take you
dancin’ in the garden
you could be my woman
that would be fine

If you'd be my baby
I would drive you crazy
every night and day, hey
all of the time

look at me
looking at you
looking at me
looking in your eyes

and when you take me
into your garden
let me kiss your blossom
and make it mine

I just wanna drink your
sweet crystal clear water
and then help you turn it into wine

look at me
looking at you
looking at me
looking in your eyes

And when you’re sleeping
I can watch you breathin'
murmur in the dark
and call my name

And when I join you
underneath the blanket
I know I will never
be the same, yeah

look at me
looking at you
looking at me
looking in your eyes


As the song ended, Spike leaned down and took Buffy’s mouth in a slow kiss, she tasted like buttercream icing. Spike probed her mouth with his tongue, wanting to taste every inch of her. Pulling away from the kiss, Spike murmured against her mouth, “I love you,” and Buffy returned breathlessly, “I love you, too.”


**~**


As the party continued with no sign of slowing down, Buffy’s mom offered to take Annie home with her for the night. Buffy and Spike agreed, kissed their daughter goodnight and Joyce carried her out to her car for the short trip across town.


Buffy was talking with Willow and Oz on the couch when Faith grabbed her by the arm. “B! Dance with me, girlfriend!” she said as she pulled Buffy out on the floor. The song that had spurred Faith into action was already playing and both Slayers sang along, moving to the music and laughing as the song continued . . .

{{{{

{{{{
To hear the song, check this video on YouTube featuring this song

Here's the link:

It's Raining Men...The Weather Girls



}}}}


Cause' tonight for the first time
Just about half past ten
For the first time in his-tor-y
It's gonna start rainin’ men

It's raining men
Hallejulah
It's raining men
Ame---------nnnn!

I'm gonna go out
And let myself get
Abso-lut-ely soaking wet!

It's rainin’ men
Hallejulah
It's raining men
Every spec-i-men

Tall, blonde,
dark and lean
Rough and tough
and strong and mean

I feel stormy weather moving in
About to begin
Hear the thunder
Don't you lose your head
Rip off the roof and stay in bed!

It's rainin’ men
Hallejulah
It's raining men


The two vampires watched their Slayers move together on the dance floor, grace and power and sexuality came off the women in waves. Brown eyes met blue across the room and held for what seemed a long time. Memories of past women, shared between the two, flitting across their minds like recollections of a past life. Spike let out a low, throaty growl, narrowed his eyes and shook his head at his grand sire before turning his attention back to Buffy and Faith, who had now pulled Anya and Willow to the floor with them. Angel may want to go there, but Spike would be damned if he'd ever share Buffy with anyone, the vamp that tried to rape her, least of all.


When the party finally broke up in the early morning hours, Buffy told Faith and Angel they could spend the night at the mansion before they had to head back to L.A. the following day. They had both been drinking, and, although Buffy didn’t think Angel was drunk, she wasn’t really sure. Angel’s room was pretty much as he had left it nearly two years ago. Spike had wanted for them to move into it because it was larger, had a fireplace and was much closer to the bathroom, but Buffy refused. She had bad memories about that room and she rarely went in there. Faith jumped on the invitation. “Thanks, B! That’d be great!”


Spike and Angel remained silent as the Slayers made the decision, but it was obvious neither of the vampires was really happy at the prospect of being in the same house for the night.


After giving Faith an armload of towels and reminding her about the public nudity rules, Buffy went to join Spike in their room. Spike was getting undressed when she walked in; she closed and locked the door behind her. He lay down on the bed and patted the empty space next to him in an invitation for her to join him. After dropping her own clothes on the floor, she slid in next to him, laying her head on his shoulder and draping one leg over his.


“Did you have a good time t’night, luv?”


“Yeah, I did,” Buffy replied quietly.


“Got ya’ somethin’. Happy Anniversary, Buffy.” Spike pulled out a small book from under his pillow and handed to her, “Love Poems” it said on the cover. Opening it, she read the inscription he had written in an old fashioned script,


Because you fill my soul with love.
Yours always,
William


“Oh, Spike, that’s so beautiful. Thank you. I love it.” She tilted her head back for him to take her lips with his.


Pulling back from the kiss, she reached under her pillow and pulled out a book of her own. “Happy Anniversary, my love,” she said as she handed it to him.


It was a leather bound journal; he opened it, all the pages blank except the first one.


To my husband William, the love of my life,
Let your poet’s heart come into the light where it can shine.
All my love,
Buffy


“God, Buffy, it’s . . . I really don’t know what to say. It’s the most perfect thing anyone’s ever given me.”


Buffy smiled up at him, running her hand gently along the side of his face. “I’m so glad you like it."


She handed the book he’d given her back to him. "Read to me?”


Setting the empty journal down on the night stand, Spike flipped through the book of poems until he found what he was looking for and began to read as she laid her head back on his shoulder.


Spike’s voice slipped out of his normal cockney accent and into that of an English gentleman as he began to recite the poem he’d chosen . . .


Valentine to My Wife

Accept, dear girl, this little token,
And if between the lines you seek,
You'll find the love I've often spoken—
The love my dying lips shall speak.

Our little ones are making merry
O'er am'rous ditties rhymed in jest,
But in these words (though awkward—very)
The genuine article's expressed.

You are as fair and sweet and tender,
Dear green-eyed little sweetheart mine,
As when, a callow youth and slender,
I asked to be your Valentine.

What though these years of ours be fleeting?
What though the years of youth be flown?
I'll mock old Tempus with repeating,
"I love my love and her alone!"

And when I fall before his reaping,
And when my stuttering speech is dumb,
Think not my love is dead or sleeping,
But that it waits for you to come.

So take, dear love, this little token,
And if there speaks in any line
The sentiment I'd fain have spoken,
Say, will you kiss your Valentine?


Buffy rolled over on top of Spike, taking the book from his hands and setting it with his on the night stand before dropping down to capture his mouth in a kiss. Spike ran his hands down her body with light, cool touches against her hot skin, making her shiver in pleasure. Pulling away from the kiss, Buffy ran her tongue down his neck, stopping to nip at his adam’s apple before turning back up and capturing an earlobe in between her teeth and sucking on it lightly, causing Spike to inhale sharply.


Letting go, she swirled her tongue on the delicate skin behind his ear as he moaned in the pleasure of her touch. Continuing down, she flicked her tongue lightly across his nipples, making them stiffen and his hips rise against her where she straddled him. She moved slowly lower, tickling the thin line of hair that ran down from his belly button with her tongue before reaching his erection, standing hard against his stomach. Licking down the shaft in soft touches elicited a “God, Buffy!” from Spike as he ran his fingers through her hair. Reaching his balls, she licked them, swirling her tongue around each one in turn before moving lower, encouraging Spike to bend his knees and tilt his hips up so she could trace the soft skin between his ass cheeks with her wet, hot tongue.


Buffy dipped one finger into her slick cunt, bringing it back dripping with her juices, she swirled it around his ass before pressing it in, “Fuck!” Spike spasmed against her as she entered him and began a slow fuck of his ass with her finger. Pulling her finger out quickly, Spike felt something else press against his ass, but before he could suss out what she was doing, Buffy had pressed a small vibrator into him and turned it on to a slow pulse.


“Jesus Christ!” His hips bucked against her as the vibrator sent ripples of pleasure radiating out through his body.


Buffy captured his cock in her mouth as she turned the vibrator up to a higher setting. She sucked down the length of him as he bucked uncontrollably against her mouth. Moans and disconnected words escaped his mouth as all the sensations of what she was doing overwhelmed him. He shot his load into the back of her throat with a roar as she sucked even harder, wringing him dry. When the tremors that were still shuddering through him finally stopped, Buffy slowly pulled her mouth off his cock, swirling her tongue around the tip, before flipping the vibrator off and sliding it out.


“Christ, woman,” Spike moaned as he pulled her up against the length of his body. “You’re bloody amazing.”


Buffy smiled up at him, she loved making Spike writhe and moan under her power, almost as much as she loved to writhe under his. When she’d called Faith to invite her to the party, Buffy asked her for some ideas to surprise Spike with on their anniversary and Faith had sworn that vibrator would do the trick. Faith was right.


Spike pulled her into a deep hungry kiss, the taste of his spunk still in her mouth made his cock start to harden again. “God, Buffy, I love you.”


“I need you inside me,” she murmured back to him, taking his nearly hard cock in her hand and beginning to stroke slowly up and down its length until it was rock hard again.


He pulled back to look at her, their eyes locked, blue on green, as he rolled them over. Leaning down to swirl his tongue around one nipple before pulling it into his mouth, she arched her back up to him, wrapping her legs around his hips and pulling him to her wet heat.


He tilted his hips and lined up with her dripping channel before he slowly pressed into her. Buffy gasped as the head of his cock penetrated her. He stopped . . . pulling ever so slightly in and out with just the head, teasing her, as she shuddered under him. “Spike . . . God, baby . . .” she moaned, lifting her hips up to him, pulling against his hips with her legs. “God, Spike, now!”


Spike thrust into her hard, burying himself in her. Buffy’s whole body seemed to rise up to meet him as a scream of pleasure escaped her lips. Spike fucked her hard; slamming his cool hardness into her hot soft canal, which tightened around him more with every thrust.


“Bite me!” Buffy demanded, tilting her head to the side and lifting her shoulder blades up off the mattress to him. “Spike, I need you in me – all of you!”


Spike brought the demon up, which only increased the power of his thrusts into her, as he dipped his head and sank his fangs deeply into her neck where her racing pulse beat just under her golden skin.


Buffy screamed out as her orgasm overtook her, Spike’s fangs in her neck, his cock still pounding into her womanhood, she felt like she was flying, weightless, every nerve ending exploding into space as Spike carried her on wave after wave of pure ecstasy. When Spike felt her orgasm ending, he found his own release deep within her heat, thrusting into her with hard, deliberate strokes as he came with his own howl of pleasure.


Spike fought for control of the demon, Slayer blood while she was cumming was always powerful, but tonight he thought it was the most extraordinary thing he’d ever tasted. Finally, shifting back into his human face after several seconds of battling the demon down, he nuzzled and licked at the new wounds to stop the bleeding and seal them. Buffy’s breath was ragged, her head spinning, as she held tightly to Spike, holding him to her with her legs and arms, willing him stay inside her.


I would be happy if I died right now, she thought . . . Death by orgasm, that would be the way to go.

Time Line:

Starts:  February 2000. Annie is 1 year old, Buffy and Spike have been married 1 year.

 Ends: September, 2000. Annie is about 18 – 19 months old.

**~**

February 15th, 2000:

Spike was still sleeping when Buffy woke the next morning, her head ached from the Champagne she’d consumed the night before. When are you gonna learn? Alcohol and Buffy are not mixy, she thought to herself as she trudged down the hallway to the bathroom.


As she approached the bathroom, she could hear the distinct sounds of love making coming from the bedroom across the hall. Well, someone’s up early! She covered her ears and quickly ducked into the bathroom, turning on the shower immediately to drown out the ever increasing moans and groans coming from Faith and Angel. Of course, she knew they were sleeping together, hell, they’ve been together a year, but she didn’t need a blow by blow of it in her head.


Buffy took a long time in the shower, long enough to make sure that all the noise from across the hall had subsided, before coming out. She pulled on her old sweats and peeked in on Spike, but he was still asleep, so, she headed down stairs to make some coffee and get an aspirin.


Entering the kitchen, she found Angel heating up a mug of blood in the microwave; coffee was brewing in the coffee maker on the counter.


“Didn’t think you drank coffee,” Buffy commented.


“Things change,” Angel replied without looking at her.


That's the understatement of the century, Buffy thought.


“Angel, can I ask a favor?” Buffy was suddenly serious. At the change in her tone, Angel turned around to face her.


“Of course.”


“Angel, if anything happens to me, promise me you’ll help Spike with Annie, keep her safe.” Buffy met Angel’s eyes, her face solemn.


“Buffy, you know I’d do anything for you, but I don’t think Spike’s gonna want my help. And, anyway, he won’t let anything happen to you.”


Buffy sighed. “You don’t know that – I’m the Slayer, anything could happen to me at any time. If Spike doesn’t want your help, just . . . just pull rank on him or something, make him let you help.”


Angel snorted at the thought. “Make Spike do something? Buffy, YOU are the only one that can make Spike do anything. I haven’t been able to ‘pull rank’ on him since . . ." that night, he thought to himself, but instead said,". . . well, for a long while now.”


“Just promise me you’ll try. If he comes to you for help, tell me you’ll help him.”


“Buffy, I’ll always love . . .”Angel started but was cut off by Buffy holding up her hand.


“PLEASE don’t finish that sentence.”


Angel sighed and rolled his head back to study the ceiling before meeting her eyes and starting again. “I just meant, yes, I’ll do anything I can, for you, for Annie, because I’ll always care about you, Buffy.”


“Angel, I know that you loved me, or at least, I have to believe that you did, otherwise it . . . well, it just hurts too much to think that you didn’t.” Angel opened his mouth to protest but Buffy stopped him by holding her hand up again.


“But I’m not the same person now and neither are you. What about Faith? Do you love her?”


Angel lowered his eyes. “I care about Faith.”


“You should let yourself love again, Angel. Let me go. Faith deserves better.”


Angel nodded, unable to meet her eyes.


“Good. So, how about a cup of that coffee . . . I hope Cordelia didn’t teach you how to make it.” Buffy smiled at him as she headed towards the cupboard to retrieve a mug.


**~**


July, 2000:


“I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me where we’re going. I mean, the blind fold, plenty fun in the bedroom, not so much in the car, Spike,” Buffy whined for the hundredth time since they’d left Sunnydale at sunset.


“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it? You do know the meaning of the word, don’ cha’, Slayer?” Spike stole a look at her to make sure she hadn’t moved the blindfold off her eyes while he steered the Desoto down the highway.


Buffy sighed and sat back, putting her hand out the window to wind-surf as they sped down the road. Spike smiled at her and turned his attention back to the traffic, it wouldn’t be long now.


“We’re getting near the beach,” Buffy stated.


“How d’ya figure, pet?”


“I can smell the ocean!” she replied triumphantly. “You aren’t the only one that can smell things!”


Spike chuckled as he pulled into the empty parking area and cut the engine. “Well, you would be right, luv.”


Spike pulled the blindfold off so Buffy could see where they were. “Spike! It’s our beach!” She looked at him. “How did you know where our beach was? Could you tell from the dreams where it was?”


“Actually, I asked your Mum,” Spike admitted. “Com’on then, time for the real thing!”


“I don’t have a suit . . .” Buffy complained.


“You won’t need one, luv.” Spike leered at her, running his tongue along his teeth.


“Ooo, you rat!” Buffy smiled and hopped from the car. Spike grabbed the cooler and blanket from the trunk and followed her down to the surf.


Buffy stood at the edge of the waves, letting them tickle her now bare feet and closed her eyes to breathe in the salty air and just listen to the waves as they crashed against the shore. She loved that smell, that sound; it was one of her favorite places in the world.


Spike had toed off his boots and left them next to hers, along with the blanket and cooler. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Settling his chin on her shoulder he listened to her breathe, felt her heartbeat and smelled the shampoo in her hair as he nuzzled his mouth against her neck, sucking lightly at the tender spot behind her ear and sending chill bumps up and down her body.


“It’s the best surprise ever, Spike.” Buffy raised one hand up to caress the side of his face as he continued his exploration of her neck with his mouth. Leaning her head to the side to give him better access, Buffy moaned as he licked and nibbled down her neck. Pulling herself away from his embrace, she turned around to face him and pulled her shirt off, and then his, and tossed them towards the blanket. She reached for his belt buckle and he let her unfasten it, then the button and zipper of his jeans. Sliding her hands down the sides of his hips, the jeans slipped down his hard body and he kicked them back in the direction she’d thrown their shirts.


She took his erection in her hand and slowly stroked up and down the hard shaft, leaning in to take his mouth in a hungry kiss. Pulling back from her, Spike unbuttoned and unzipped her shorts and dropped them around her ankles before sliding his hands under the sides of her panties and pushing them down over her hips to join her shorts on the sand.


Kicking her shorts towards the rest of their clothes on the beach, Buffy took his cock back in her hand, leaning in for a kiss, she murmured, "Catch me if you can,” and suddenly turned and ran into the surf, diving beneath the first wave before it could hit her and swimming away from him.


Spike laughed and was on her heels in a heartbeat, following in her wake as she swam out past the breakers. When she had gotten to an area of calm water, she turned to see where he was. The moon was nearly full and high in the sky, she should be able to easily see him in the water, but he was nowhere to be seen. Still treading water and turning in a slow circle, Buffy squealed as something came up from under her and lifted her half way out of the water, tossing her off balance so her head dunked under.


“SPIKE! No fair!” she yelled after she’d regained her balance and spit out the mouth full of salty water that she'd gotten when she went under. She continued treading water and spinning around in one spot trying to find him.


He surfaced a couple of feet from her, grinning. “All’s fair in love and war, pet.”


“Oh, you! No fair with the not breathing! You breathe all the time! NOW you decide you don’t have to breathe!?”


Spike just laughed and dove under again, coming up from below her, he grabbed her feet. She thought he was going to pull her under and she took a gulp of air, but instead, he lifted her legs over his shoulders and settled his mouth against her warm pussy. Spreading her outer lips with one hand he started a slow twirl around her clit with his tongue. He wrapped one hand around her hip to hold her to him as he teased her with his tongue. Buffy let out a moan and leaned back in the water, spreading her legs wider. Half floating, half supported by Spike under her, she looked up at the stars and the moon. The ocean waves teased at her hard nipples and Spike’s expert tongue flicked over her most sensitive spot taking her to an immediate climax as her hips bucked against his mouth under the water.


Spike continued his ministrations through her climax and, as he felt her coming down from the first small orgasm, he increased his efforts. Sucking and nipping hard at her clit, he slid two fingers into her slick channel, causing her to push harder against him. She moaned his name as he slid his fingers in and out of her, never taking his mouth off her burning nub, increasing to three fingers and quickening the tempo with each thrust into her, he could feel another orgasm building within her and slid the hand holding her hip further back to settle on her ass cheek, where he could dip one finger into her tight asshole. As he pressed that finger in, her moans rose to screams of pleasure, her breath fast and ragged and she pulled his head to her harder, with her fingers tangling in his hair, as she bucked against his mouth and hands.


As her climax eased back down to slight shudders, he pulled out of her and slid up her body, pulling her to him and capturing her mouth in a hungry kiss. The taste of salt water and her own juices mingled in his mouth and Buffy deepened the kiss, probing his mouth with her tongue as he slipped his own tongue within her warmth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips as he tread water, keeping both of them afloat. She slid her hips down to capture his erection in her burning center, both of them gasping as he entered her, still floating in the cool water.


“God, I love you in me,” she murmured as she buried him deeper in her burning cunt. He had no argument with that, at all.


They stayed that way, floating in the ocean, kissing, intertwined – him within her, for what seemed like forever before she pulled off, grabbed his hand and swam back to shore. Leading him by the hand, they made their way back to the beach and the blanket Spike had spread out. Turning to face him, Buffy slowly lowered herself onto the blanket, pulling Spike down with her until he was captured again by her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, her hips tilted up to accept his cock into her core.


“Make love to me, Spike,” she murmured in his ear and he dipped his hips and pressed his hard shaft into her heat.


“I love you, Buffy,” he whispered back to her, “more than you’ll ever know.”


She gasped as he entered her, squeezing tight around his shaft as he slid in slowly, then pulled back out just as slowly. He increased the tempo as she raked her fingers up and down his hard back and arched into him, silently begging him for more.


She felt that familiar burning start in her center where Spike was thrusting hard into her now, her breath quickened and she let her mind go blank, concentrating on nothing but the feeling of her lover, his body hard under her hands and his cock driving into her. Pleasure built like a crescendo in her body until she couldn’t control the scream that came from her and her whole body seemed it would burst from the ecstasy of it.


“Yes, Slayer, scream for me, God yes, Buffy, Christ . . . Buffy . . . YES!” he thrust hard one last time as he spilled his cum deep into her, her muscles tightening hard around him as she climaxed and her body quivered uncontrollably under him, the scream escaping her mouth completely primal, unbridled and unrestrained.


Spike collapsed down on top of her; Buffy held him to her with her thighs tight around his hips. She struggled to get air, but didn’t want him to move from atop her, either. She closed her eyes and just took in the feeling of his hard body on hers, encompassing her; his hands now tangling in her wet hair and his cock still within her. The breeze off the ocean caressed their bodies and the soft spray from the breaking waves sprayed them with a cool mist. She wanted to remember this moment, this feeling, forever.


“I love you, Spike,” she whispered in his ear.


It was definitely the best ‘day’ at the beach she’d ever had.

**~**

September, 2000:


Buffy was finally getting a much needed break. Between chasing around the mansion after an active toddler and the normal day to day Slayer duties, she had also taken on a few more classes this semester at UC Sunnydale, plus, Willow hadn’t helped matters when she started casting "my will be done" spells willy-nilly when Oz left.


Besides making Giles blind and Xander a demon magnet, Willow had wished that "Buffy and Spike just get over each other already!" That wish made it so anytime Buffy and Spike were in the same room they started fighting. They physically couldn’t stop beating the shit out of each other. Spike had to stay with Xander in Xander’s parent’s basement for two days until Willow finally ended the spell. It had definitely been a strange time.


But now, the house was empty. Her mom had taken Annie shopping and Spike was on one of his missions with Angel and wouldn’t be back until that night. She was all alone and wanted nothing more than a nice, long, uninterrupted sleep. Settling down onto their bed, Buffy was asleep before her head hit the pillow.


Buffy was jerked awake by JLo screaming at her to Get Loud. Trying to focus, Buffy realized it was her cell phone singing at her and she fumbled to pick it up from the nightstand and press the talk button.


“Yeah,” she croaked into it.


“Buffy! Is that you?” It was her mom.


“Yeah,” Buffy replied, still half asleep.


“Buffy, we’ve got a problem. It’s Annie.”


Buffy was suddenly wide awake. “What? What is it?”


“She’s ok. We’re ok, Buffy. But these people . . . they’re like crazy people and they started following us and wouldn’t stop. They keep trying to get close to Annie and talking about a green light.”


The day they brought Annie home from the hospital flashed in Buffy’s mind. She knew that was more than just a crazy person prattling, as Spike had thought.


“Ok, are you ok now? Where are you?” Buffy was up and pulling on her shoes as she was talking.


“We’re ok now. I locked us in the bathroom at the mall. I can still hear them outside the door, though. They haven’t tried to get in, but I don’t know what they want.” Her mom sounded really upset, Buffy realized.


“OK, Mom, it’s ok, I’m on my way.” Buffy was out the door and climbing into her car before she had even hung up with her mom.


Buffy was really glad at that moment that Spike had insisted on teaching her to drive. Not that his driving was all that stellar, but it was better than hers, which was nonexistent. He still wouldn’t let her drive the Desoto though, but had got her a used compact car that was easier to handle and park, and her favorite part when she saw it was, “Ooo, pretty blue! It matches Spike’s eyes!" She squealed the tires as she pulled out of the drive and turned on Crawford, heading for the mall.


**~**


As she neared the mall bathrooms Buffy could see the people her mom had been talking about wandering around aimlessly up and down the long hall that lead to the ladies room. They seemed to be muttering to themselves, in their own little worlds. Every town had homeless people, crazy people, but she didn’t recall this many of them in Sunnydale, and certainly not all in one place.


Buffy frowned and started walking down the hall. They parted to allow her passage, none of them confronted her. She started shooing them, pushing them out of the narrow hallway back into the mall and they didn’t fight her. When most of them were out of the hallway, Buffy surveyed the few that remained, picked out one that didn’t seem quite as smelly as the others, and steered him by the elbow towards the ladies room.


“Mom!? Mom, are you in there?” Buffy yelled at the locked door.


“Buffy? Yes, we’re here.” Her mom sounded like she had calmed down a bit.


“Ok, Mom, I need you to help me a minute, come and unlock the door, then I want you to hold Annie and back up about five feet away from it, ok? Don’t freak out when I open the door, I won’t let anything happen, ok?”


“What are you going to do, Buffy?” She could hear her mom walking towards the locked door.


“Gonna try and get some answers. Don’t worry, just open the door and step back,” Buffy replied.


When the door was unlocked, she heard her mom move back away from it and Buffy pulled it open. Buffy wedged her foot against it to keep it open before she pulled the crazy man into the doorway to face her mom and Annie. The man immediately became agitated and tried to pull out of Buffy’s grasp, but she held him firm.


“What do you see?!” Buffy demanded of the homeless man, shaking his arm.


“Green light, such pretty green light . . .” the man started, reaching his hands towards Annie and her mom.


“What else!? Tell me what else you see!” Buffy shook him harder.


“Ancient, shiny, green light . . . the Key.” The man lunged towards Annie but Buffy pulled him back.


“Who wants the Key?” Buffy demanded.


“Shiny, pretty, green light . . .”


“YEAH, I GOT THAT PART!! WHO WANTS THE SHINY GREEN LIGHT? Who wants the Key?!” Buffy shook the man harder.


The man looked at her wide-eyed. “The mighty Glorificus . . . the Key, ancient Key . . . shiny green light . . ."


Letting the bathroom door close behind her, Buffy pushed the man back down the hall towards the mall’s main concourse. After getting all the crazies out of the hallway, Buffy went back to her mom and Annie. “Ok, let’s go.”


Taking Annie from her mom, Buffy headed towards the emergency exit at the end of the hall, ignoring the alarm that sounded when she pushed the door open, she held it open for her mom before letting it fall back closed with a crash.


“Where are you parked?” Buffy asked her mom.


Her mother pointed in the opposite direction of where Buffy was parked. “Ok, go to your car and then come back to our house. I don’t think any of the crazies will bother you, not without Annie. We’ll meet you there.”


“Buffy, be careful.”


“I will, Mom.”


**~**


Spike walked in to find the entire Scooby gang gathered around the research table. Willow had her laptop open, typing furiously, brow furrowed as she scanned the screen for whatever it was she was looking for. Even Buffy at least appeared to be reading a book while Joyce was on the couch entertaining Annie.


“New beastie in town?” Spike leaned over to give Buffy a kiss.


“Yeah, our daughter,” Buffy sighed, filling him in on the day’s adventure.


“So, how’s L.A.?” she asked when she’d finished her story.


“Angel’s cheerleader got knocked up,” Spike said matter-of-factly.


“Faith?" Buffy questioned.


“No, the cheerleader. Cordelia,” Spike clarified.


“Angel knocked up Cordelia?” Buffy looked confused.


“OH, PLEEAASE!” Spike drew the word out across his tongue. “Like the ponce could knock anybody up!”


“So Cordelia’s pregnant . . . by Wesley!?” Buffy exclaimed.


Spike rolled his eyes. “Noooo,” he drew the word out for emphasis. “The cheerleader got knocked up by a Haxil Beast.”


“So, Cordelia is having a demon baby?” Buffy looked worried.


“No, we killed the Haxil . . . big, nasty, beastie that was!” Spike explained.


“So, Cordelia’s gonna be a single mom, then? With a demon baby?” Buffy looked even more worried.


“Buffy, are you listening to me?” Spike took her by the shoulders like she was a small child, trying to get her to focus on him. “Cordelia is not preggers any more – kill the beastie, kill the baby. Don’t you know anything after all this time on the Hellmouth?”


“Huh. So do you think Wesley will take her back after she slept with the Haxil demon?” Buffy tried to hold back a smile as Spike rolled not only his eyes but his whole head up to the ceiling and let her go.


“Wesley and Cordelia are NOT a bloody couple . . .” Spike stopped when he looked back at Buffy, her smile barely contained. “You’re playin’ me, Slayer.”


Buffy crinkled up her nose and held her forefinger and thumb up close to each other, unable to contain her laughter. “Little bit.”


“You wench!” Spike grabbed her up and swung her in a circle, her feet coming off the floor before burying his mouth on hers. “I’ll teach you to play me.”


Buffy laughed, and slapped playfully at his back. “We have guests, honey.”


“Don’t we bloody always have guests?!” he growled low.


She smiled and whispered, “Later,” into his ear as he set her back down.


Just then, Willow spoke up, “OH, OH, I think I found something . . . it says here in the Middle Ages there were these sweeping plagues of madness. People were losing their marbles everywhere. But then it would suddenly subside . . . not sure why though.”


“Wait,” Xander piped up, “I just saw something about that . . . yeah, here it is.” He read from the book, “‘Primitive people used to believe that the moon was a cause of insanity. Sometimes they would pray to the moon to send a special meteor to fix the problem the moon had caused. These meteors were expected to quell the madmen.’”


“Meteors? Ok, let me check on that.” Willow typed on the laptop, “Ok, there’s a ‘Queller’ impact in the twelfth century; it landed just outside of Reykjavik in Iceland. OH! Look, every time there is one of these increases in madness one of these meteors would land and then the madness would subside!”


“So something about the meteors . . . quelled the madmen?” Giles proposed to the group. “But what is causing the madness in the first place?”


Buffy had a theory on that. “I’d lay my money on this ‘Glorificus’ that the crazy guy mentioned. If it wants the Key and the crazy people can find the Key, then it would make sense that it would be the one making the crazies to find the Key for it – the more the merrier.”


“What about the demon Glorificus? Any info on it?” Buffy addressed the room as a whole.


“No, it doesn’t appear in any of our reference material,” Giles replied.


“What about the Council of Wankers? Think they might have somethin’ on it?” Spike joined the conversation.


“Perhaps,” Giles conceded. “I’ll call them tomorrow.”


“Well, it’s pretty clear that we’re gonna’ have to be super careful if we go out anywhere with Annie now. Apparently the Beast is here, somewhere, and it only takes one crazy person to ID Annie as the Key. Since we have no idea what kind of demon this Glorificus is, what it looks like or anything, we have no idea how to fight it,” Buffy concluded.

Time line: January, 2001. Annie is nearly 2 years old. 

**~**

January, 2001:


“Well, it’s really pretty, if nothing else.” Buffy was holding the round, glowing orb in her hand as she and Spike walked down the stairs and into the garden. They’d found it on patrol, but other than glow, they couldn’t figure out what else it did. “Maybe Giles will know what it is.”


Spike shot a hand out and grabbed her arm, effectively stopping her descent of the stairs.


“Someone’s here,” he whispered.


“Someone’s ALWAYS here,” she whispered back to him.


“No, someone different, not your gang.”


Spike and Buffy crept down the stairs silently. She set the glowing orb down, off to the side of the garden and out of harm’s way in case there was a fight.


They both crept up to the door and listened. Voices, mostly male, several different ones. Then they heard Giles and the two warriors looked at each other, brows furrowed.


What is going on in there? Buffy thought to herself.


Only one way to find out. She heard Spike’s voice in her head, but he hadn’t spoken.


This had happened a few times in the past since they'd bonded, but not often, and she couldn’t really get it to work when she wanted it to, at least not while they were awake. Sharing dreams with each other had become commonplace and she could almost will him into her dreams, as he could her, but communicating while awake had been more of a challenge.


The pair straightened, senses on alert and together they stepped boldly through the door into the main room of their house.


The place seemed to be filled with people. Not just people, Buffy realized, Council people. She hated the Council, they were controlling and unhelpful, at best. Them being here, was not of the good.


“Council of Wankers,” Spike said aloud with a hiss.


Suddenly several cross bows were pointed at the pair. Acting on instinct alone, Buffy grabbed the closest one and, in one deft move, pulled it from the man’s hands and shoved it back hard against his nose, dropping him to his knees as he yelled in pain.


Spike had disarmed the one closest to him, as well, and now the pair stood, side by side, with the stolen cross bows aimed back at the remaining Council members.


“Buffy! Spike!” Giles was up in second, moving between the pair and the others in the room. “It’s ok, everyone just lower your weapons.”


“Not happening, Giles. What are they doing here?” Buffy had switched to full Slayer mode.


Giles held his hands out to the side as he moved slowly between his Slayer and the members of the Council that were gathered around the research area.


He addressed the Council members. “Lower your weapons, they're not a threat.”


After a few breathless moments, the Council members lowered their weapons. As soon as they did, Buffy and Spike were on them, snatching the cross bows from their grasp.


“That’s not a very hospitable welcome for guests, Miss Summers.”


Buffy turned to face the man speaking. “Guests, like vampires, must be invited in. You were not.” Buffy held his eyes in a vise grip with hers. “And the name’s Weckerly, Mrs. Weckerly.”


Quentin Travers surveyed her before continuing. “Ahh, but we were. Your Watcher invited us, Buffy.” Travers waved his arm towards Giles.


His refusal to use her married name didn’t escape Buffy. “Guests in my house don’t generally come armed, Quentin.”


Giles stepped up to where the Council head and his Slayer were squared off. “Buffy, I’m sorry. They . . . they showed up unexpectedly and said they had information about Glory.” At Buffy’s confused look, Giles clarified, “Glorificus. I thought it would be best to hear what they had to say.”


“So talk.” Buffy looked back at Quentin Travers.


“I’m afraid we don’t discuss such matters in front of vampires.” Travers looked pointedly at Spike.


Buffy smiled. “Really? Then you’ve wasted a trip. But thanks for the neat cross bows, I was running low.” She waved the two crossbows she’d taken from the Council members in his face and turned away from Quentin Travers. “Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”


Buffy moved back next to Spike, setting the cross bows down next to the fireplace at their back and folding her arms across her chest. Looking expectantly around the room, she waited for the intruders to leave. When none of them moved, she waved her hand towards the door. “Hello! You can go now.”


“Miss Summ . . .” Quentin Travers started, but stopped as Buffy arched her brow at him. “Buffy,” he started again, rising from his chair. “You really have no idea what you’re dealing with here. I believe you need our help in this.”


“Really? Because you guys are so good with crossbows?” She smirked at him. “’Cause, I’m thinkin', not so much.”


“Perhaps you’ll feel differently if we take your Mr. Giles back with us, then. Since obviously his influence over you is . . . well . . . you are dwelling with a vampire.” Quentin Travers made no effort to veil the threat.


“This is a free country, you can’t take someone with you that doesn’t want to go.” Buffy tilted her head and studied the Council head closely.


“Perhaps not, but we can certainly revoke his passport, have him deported, cut off his funds . . . there are ways.” Travers wasn’t backing down.


Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, considering his words.


Buffy heard Spike’s voice in her head again, He’s trying too hard, pet. Looks calm, but his heart's racin’. He’s bluffin’.


Buffy met Spike’s eyes; she had thought that herself, although she couldn’t hear his heartbeat, he definitely seemed to be trying too hard.


“Fine. Have it your way,” Buffy said at last.


“Good, I knew you would see reason. Simply ask your vampire to leave and we’ll get started,” Travers said triumphantly.


“Oh, no. That’s not what I meant,” Buffy smiled casually. “Take Giles with you. I’m sure he’ll welcome a break from the Hellmouth. I hear England is lovely this time of year.”


Travers’ face fell. Buffy could barely contain a laugh. She widened her eyes, lifting her eyebrows. “Vampire stays,” she said simply.


Resigned, Travers handed a folder to Buffy, who promptly passed it over to Giles.


“Just give me the Cliffs Notes version. What kind of demon are we dealing with here?” Buffy addressed Travers.


“Not a demon,” Quentin Travers spoke slowly. “A god.”


**~**


“It’s a Dagon Sphere”, Giles concluded after researching the glowing orb that Buffy and Spike had found.


“It is said to ‘repel that which cannot be named’,” he quoted directly from the tome he was holding. Looking up from the book he continued, “Like a god.”


“Glory,” Buffy said.


“Indeed.” Giles removed his glasses and began polishing them in earnest.


The Council had left the previous night, the folder of information they’d provided said that Glory is a god from a hell dimension, over which she ruled alongside two other deities, though she was the most powerful of the three. Afraid that Glory would take full control of their dimension, the other two began a war against her. Glory lost the war and was banished into the earthly dimension where she was forced to share a body with a mortal, who was created solely to "contain" her. However, no one had any idea who or where this mortal was.


The good news was that the Key could only be used at a certain time, if they could protect Annie past that time, then they wouldn’t need to defeat Glory. Giles and Willow were working on determining when, exactly, that time was.


“Well, I think that makes our glow-ey orb a new night light for Annie’s room, then!” Buffy took the orb back from Giles.


“Quite right,” Giles said distractedly. “I think you should go back to where you found it and look around more thoroughly. There may be other clues there as to how to find Glory.”


**~**


Buffy and Spike walked around the abandoned warehouse where they’d found the Dagon Sphere. Finding nothing of note outside the building, they entered and began looking around the dilapidated interior.


Suddenly, they heard voices coming from one of the rooms. Creeping silently up to the open doorway, they peered in. There was a blond woman bending over a monk who was tied to a chair. It was the same monk that had been in Buffy’s dream. The woman was telling the monk that she was the injured party here, that he had stolen her Key!


Buffy and Spike backed up away from the door.


“That’s got to be Glory!” Buffy whispered.


“Plan?” Spike questioned.


“Hit her . . . hard?” Buffy suggested.


Spike smirked and nodded. He loved that kind of plan!


“I’ll go in first, you back me up,” Buffy whispered before starting back to the open doorway.


“What’s the matter, can’t find anyone your own size to beat on?” Buffy stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, a slight smile on her face.


“Get out of here, little girl, this doesn’t concern you!” Glory retorted. Turning back to the monk, Glory stuck her fingers directly in his head and began to pull his sanity out of him to strengthen herself.


Buffy watched in horror as Glory put her hands into the monk’s head. “Son of a bitch!”


Buffy flew at Glory, hitting her full force with both feet in a flying kick, sending Glory backwards away from the prisoner. Buffy leapt back to her feet and threw a right hook at Glory’s face, Glory blocked it and hit Buffy with an uppercut, sending her flying backwards across the room to hit hard onto the opposite wall before sliding to the ground with a thud and a moan.


Spike had seen enough. He ran at Glory, fists and fangs, catching her by surprise and knocking her backwards, but she recovered quickly and sent Spike flying just as she had Buffy.


Buffy had recovered and was starting back towards Glory when Spike’s airborne body hit her and they both tumbled to the ground unceremoniously.


“Fuck!” Buffy exclaimed as she hit the ground again under his weight.


Getting back to their feet, Buffy and Spike launched a dual assault on Glory, one getting in a good punch or kick while she sent the other flying, and so it went for what seemed like hours, but was actually only a few minutes.


Breathing hard, body bruised and blackened, Buffy couldn’t stand straight any longer. She held her ribs and struggled to breathe as she watched helplessly as Spike came flying back towards her again. He landed hard on the ground and, this time, didn’t jump back up. “Bloody hell,” came from his lips, but it was barely a whisper as he tried to get back to his feet.


As he stood, Buffy laid a hand on his arm to stop him from going back towards Glory.


“Get the monk and get out of here,” Buffy directed him. “I’ll distract her.”


Spike didn’t have the energy to argue with her and started towards the still tied up monk as Buffy started back towards Glory.


“So, I hear you got kicked out of hell. What’s the matter? Can’t play nice with others?” Buffy started as she moved back towards Glory.


“Haven’t you had enough, little girl? Look at you! You’re all beaten up and I’m fresh as daisy! I could do this all night, you, I’m guessing, not so much,” Glory retorted.


“Oh, I’m a bit stronger than I look.” Buffy tried to pull herself fully upright but winced as she felt a rib move in a way that it definitely wasn’t meant to.


“I’m shakin’ in my Jimmy Choos!” Glory sneered and shook her hands in a faux tremble.


Spike had gotten the monk untied and was heading towards the door with him when Glory saw them. “Hey, that’s MY monk!”


“Mine now.” Buffy pulled Glory’s attention back to her and away from Spike and the monk.


“Not for long, bitch.” Glory was on Buffy before she could move. Glory kicked her hard in the gut, sending Buffy flying back into one of the ceiling supports. Buffy could hear the support give as she slid to the ground and willed herself up away from it, towards the closest exit: a window. As she reached it, the ceiling of the warehouse collapsed onto Glory. Buffy dove out the window falling two stories to the ground below.


Buffy closed her eyes, trying to get the stars that were circling her head to slow down and the breath that had been knocked out of her back. She heard Spike call her name and started moving again, pulling herself up and moving in the direction of his voice.


“Let’s go,” she said as she reached the spot where he and the monk had collapsed on the ground.


“He’s gone, Buffy.” Spike looked at the now motionless monk lying on the ground. “Did you kill her?”


Buffy frowned. “Didn’t even phase her.” Then, looking down at the monk she asked, “Did he say anything?”


“We must protect the Key. Many more die if we don't keep it safe.” Spike rose gingerly to his feet. They clung to each other, each giving as much support as they got from the other, and headed back to the mansion.


**~**


“Giles, you’ve got to give us a time frame, here.” Buffy was exasperated and exhausted, her ribs hurt and she was still one huge bruise from the fight with Glory the previous night. “We got our asses thoroughly kicked! The best we can hope for is to hide Annie from her until the deadline is past.”


“Buffy, I assure you, we are working on nothing else, but we must be precise in this,” Giles defended. He and Willow had been researching nearly round the clock since the Council had dropped all their news, like an H-Bomb, over a week ago. “The calculations are . . . difficult and tedious.”


“I know, I know,” Buffy moaned. “It’s just, she kicked our collective assess. ME and SPIKE!”


“I understand your frustration. Trust me when I say that we are doing everything we can,” Giles sympathized.


“Buffy, there is one other option you can consider,” Giles started cautiously.


“Yeah? Run and hide?”


“Well, perhaps, but that’s not what I was going to say.” Giles hesitated before continuing. “Annie is the Key. It would seem, if Annie didn’t . . . exist . . . then Glory wouldn’t be able to use the Key to open the portal.”


Buffy looked at him with brows pulled together, eyes narrowed. “What are you saying?”


“Buffy, sometimes a sacrifice must be made, the good of the many outweighing the good of the few . . . or the one.” Giles physically backed away from Buffy as he said it.


“Right, Mr. Spock. That’s a lovely speech and since Annie’s not a VULCAN on a TV show, there will be NO SACRIFICING!” Buffy was incensed. “Annie is my DAUGHTER, Giles – SPIKE’S daughter! She is made of us and very likely the only child either of us will ever have!”


Buffy paused, eyes narrowed, looking him directly in the eye. “If you come near her, I will stop you." Her threat abundantly clear.


“Buffy . . .” Giles started again.


“NO! This is not up for discussion. Spike and I will find a way. You just do your part and get me that fucking date.” Buffy turned and left Giles standing in the research area as she headed upstairs.


She stuck her head into their bedroom to find that Spike was still sleeping. She let out a sigh of relief. If he had heard what Giles had suggested, she knew that Spike would have killed him just for thinking it.


Going down the hall to Annie’s room, Buffy picked the sleeping toddler up from her crib and held her tight, her head on Buffy’s shoulder. The smell of her hair, her soft skin, everything that was so Annie, so much a part of their lives and their hearts welled up behind Buffy’s eyes. She remembered the look on Spike’s face when he first saw her and they knew that she really was part of them. She thought about how Annie had Spike wrapped around her little finger; nothing was too good for his baby girl.


Buffy sat down in the rocking chair and slowly rocked back and forth with her, humming Spike’s lullaby softly as she thought about what Annie’s future could be. She could be anything, she most certainly would be beautiful with Spike’s blue eyes and high cheekbones and the dark, curly hair that everyone commented on. But she was smart, too, even Buffy's friends had mentioned how bright she was, so it wasn’t just Mom and Dad thinking that about their child. She could be anything, her whole future awaited her. Buffy let the tears fall from her eyes. “Don’t worry my sweet baby, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Time line:
February, 2001. Annie is 2 years old. Buffy and Spike have been married 2 years, as well.

**~**

February, 2001:

“Yes. Yes. I understand. We’ll be right there.” Spike hung up the phone. Tears stung the back of his eyes; he closed them and swallowed hard to keep them back.


“Who was that?” Buffy asked brightly, looking up from yet another book as she tried to help Giles and Willow with their research on Glory. “Something to tear us away from all this I hope!” She waved her and at the stack of books and smiled.


“Buffy . . ." At Spike’s expression, Buffy’s mood sobered.


“What is it? What’s wrong?” Buffy was on her feet, moving towards Spike.


“Buffy, sit down here.” Spike tried to direct her to the couch.


“NO – tell me what’s wrong!” Buffy stood firm.


Spike sighed. “Buffy, it’s your Mum, she collapsed at the gallery this evening.”


“Mom! But she’s ok, right? We have to go pick her up?”


Spike closed his eyes again to fight back the tears. “No, Buffy.”


“She’s in the hospital?” Buffy tried to search Spike’s face for the answer she wanted. Willow and Giles had stopped reading and were now paying attention to what Spike was saying.


“No, Buffy . . . I’m sorry. You’re Mum, she’s . . . she’s dead. They couldn’t save her.”


“WHAT!? No, no, no, no . . . you . . . you misunderstood them! That’s not possible! She’s fine! She was fine!”


Spike pulled Buffy into his arms, all she could say now was, “no, no, no” and all he could say was, “I’m sorry, Buffy, I’m so sorry.”


**~**


The next days were a blur for Buffy, Spike made the arrangements for the funeral, showing Buffy different choices in coffins and headstones and flowers and the hundred other things that had to be decided, letting her choose when she could, making the decision himself when she couldn’t.


Spike arranged for the funeral to be held after sundown, it was a candlelit service at the graveside. Buffy held Annie to her as the minister spoke. Buffy didn’t really hear any of it. Then it was over and people were hugging her, but she wouldn’t let Annie go, so they hugged Buffy and Annie. Angel, Faith and Cordelia had come down from L.A., even Wesley came.


As everyone finally dispersed after the service, Buffy just stood there, staring at the open grave, at the coffin now lowered into the ground. She wondered idly when they would cover it . . . surely the cemetery workers don’t work at night. She looked around the area but didn’t see anyone that looked like a worker.


“Spike, we need to get her covered. We can’t leave it like this,” she sounded desperate.


“It’s ok Buffy, they have people that do that,” Spike assured her.


“NO! Now! It needs to be done now! She can’t be like this all night!” she said as she looked at him wide eyed, panicky.


“Buffy, luv, it will be. Just as soon as we go, they’ll take care of it,” Spike reassured her.


“NO. I’m not leaving until it’s done.” She clung tighter to her daughter who was trying to squirm away and get down.


“Buffy, let me have Annie for a minute, ok? Just a minute and I’ll get them to take care of this now, ok? Just hand me the Niblett.” Buffy was holding Annie so tightly, Spike was afraid she’d hurt the child accidentally.


“They’ll do it now?” Buffy’s voice like that of a small child.


“Yes, luv. Just give me the Niblett for a minute, ok?” Spike reached out his hands to take Annie and Buffy released her for the first time since they’d left the house for the funeral.


Spike waved to Willow and Xander. “Stay with her a minute, yeah? I’ve got to take care of somethin’.” Her friends nodded and went to stand next to Buffy, but she didn’t really know they were there, her whole being focused on the open grave. It was something solid, a problem that could be solved, something to focus on other than the fact that her mother was gone.


Spike returned after a few minutes. “Ok, Buffy? Come on over here a few minutes, luv. They’re gonna get that taken care of right now, but you have to move back. Buffy?” He grabbed her arm and guided her back away from the grave several feet then nodded at the workers who had shown up.


Buffy watched as they worked, removing the chairs and the fake green Astroturf carpet from over the pile of dirt then, using a small machine, they began filling in the grave. Spike watched her. Buffy hadn’t cried during the whole funeral; she’d cried that first night when he told her, at the morgue when she saw the body she broke down and later that night in their bed he held her as she cried herself to sleep. But since then, she had been on autopilot, in a state of shock, the Watcher had said. It worried Spike; she needed to let it out.


When the workers were done, they placed a small, temporary marker on the spot, took all their tools, the fake grass and the chairs and left. Spike handed Annie to Willow and asked if she could watch her tonight.


“Sure, anything,” had been the answer from Willow as she took the toddler and she and Xander left Spike and Buffy alone.


When the workers had gone, Buffy went back to the now filled in grave. She dropped to her knees and ran her hands across the temporary marker. Joyce Summers it said, simply. Buffy’s bottom lip began to quiver and the tears welled in her eyes. “Joyce Summers,” Buffy said aloud. Buffy thought about all the things her mom would never see. Annie’s first day of school, Annie’s first dance, her first boyfriend, the prom, graduating high school, Annie getting married . . . having children of her own.


The tears flowed freely now as Buffy continued to run her fingers along the steel marker; Joyce Summers. The tears turned into sobs wracking her body as she sat back on her heels and laid down on her side on the ground, curled in a small ball next to the grave. “Mommy. Please no, please, please no. I swear, I’ll try harder, I’ll be better, Mommy please, please don’t leave me. I’m so sorry, Mom, please.”


Spike sat down behind her, pulling her to him, she turned and clung to him like he was a life preserver and she was drowning. “Shh, Buffy, it’s not your fault, luv.”


“I’m a terrible daughter! It is my fault! Mom, PLEASE, I swear I’ll be better! I'll do anything! Please, please, please, no.”


“Buffy, listen to me.” Spike pulled her up to look at him. “Buffy, your mum loved you, she loved you with all her heart and she was so proud of you, of your strength, of your life, of Annie. It is not your fault.”


“Spike, I’ve been a terrible daughter . . . you don’t know,” she sobbed against his shoulder.


“I do know, Buffy, and you have to trust me. Your mum loved you. You gave her a beautiful granddaughter. You made her proud of you.”


“Then why did she leave me?” she whispered so quietly, Spike barely heard her.


“She didn’t leave you, luv. She’s right here.” He pressed a hand against her heart. “And here.” He pressed a hand against his own unbeating heart. “And in Annie. She’ll always be with you, with us.”


“God, Spike, why do I feel so alone then?”


Spike didn’t have an answer for that, he felt the same way. Joyce had treated him like a man from the beginning, dared him to be more than he was. He felt that same emptiness within himself and wished he could do something, anything, to fix it for all of them, but there wasn’t anything to do but grieve.


Finally, he said, “We’re not alone, Buffy, we’ll always have each other and your mum will always be alive as long as she’s in our hearts.”


He held her against his chest as he rocked her, her sobs would wane but then come back again as some new hurt, some new memory would come to her, and so it went through most of the night, sitting at the graveside, holding each other in the dark.


**~**


Spike jumped slightly at the touch on his shoulder, looking around he saw Xander standing behind them.


“Time to go,” Xander said simply. “It’s nearly dawn.”


Spike nodded, Buffy had finally fallen asleep and he was loathe to wake her, but the Boy was right, he had felt the approaching dawn tingling down his spine for the last fifteen minutes. Xander bent down and lifted Buffy from Spike’s arms, she moaned lightly, but didn’t wake up. Xander carried her back to his car, Spike followed behind. Setting Buffy in the back seat, Xander moved around to the driver’s door as Spike climbed in the back with Buffy, pulling her against him, her head resting on his shoulder.


“Did she finally cry?” Xander asked as he started the car.


“Yeah,” Spike answered tiredly.


Xander looked in the rear view mirror, but, of course, couldn’t see Spike. He stopped at the cemetery entrance and turned in the seat to meet Spike’s eyes. “She’s lucky to have you.”


Spike simply nodded. Apology, nearly three years in the making, accepted.

Time Line:
Late April, 2001. Annie is a little over 2 years old. Buffy and Spike have been married a little over 2 years.

**~**

Buffy was standing on the edge of a cliff holding Annie on her hip as she looked out over the horizon. The sun was just starting to rise and she could feel the first rays of light as they touched her skin.


“What’re we doing ‘ere, Slayer?” Spike walked up behind her.


Buffy looked at him and frowned. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”


“Why not?”


Buffy turned to face Spike, handed Annie to him and smiled. “Silly Vampire, Slayer dreams are for Slayers.” Buffy stepped backwards to the edge of the cliff before opening her arms wide, leaning her head back and falling backwards in a swan dive into the black void below.


“Buffy!” Spike screamed, but she was gone. Looking over the cliff, there was nothing but blackness.


The pair woke with a jerk.


“What the fuck was that, Slayer?!” Spike was wide awake, looking at Buffy.


Buffy shrugged. “It was just a dream, Spike. It’s nothing. Just my subconscious playing games . . . haven’t been sleeping well, you know that.” She tried to make it sound like no big deal, she hoped he believed her. She kissed him and pulled him to her, one sure way to make him stop talking and stop thinking. "Make love to me, Spike,” she murmured against his mouth, and the topic of the dream was forgotten.


**~**


The Scoobies were gathered around the research table, still going through all the papers the Council had left on Glory and trying to cross reference it with other books and prophecies. Spike was leaning over Giles’ shoulder to read something that Giles had found in one of the older tomes. Buffy had taken a break and was sitting on the couch playing peek-a-boo with Annie.


It had been just a couple of months since they had buried her mom and Buffy felt an overwhelming need to stay close to Annie as much as possible, doing so at every opportunity. She couldn’t bring herself to sell her childhood home, so she offered it to Xander and Anya for free rent, all they had to do was the upkeep and keep the bills paid. The couple had jumped at the chance to get out of Xander’s parent’s basement and happily accepted.


The whole gang had helped Buffy pack up all the personal items from the house, her mom’s clothes, photos and mementos as well as all of Buffy’s things that were still in her old room. They brought it all to the mansion and put it in the basement. Buffy said she’d go through it later and decide what to keep and what to give away, but she hadn’t even started looking through the boxes, the pain of losing her mother was still too fresh to do it.


“Ahh, isn’t that just the sweetest thing,” came a voice from the doorway.


Everyone looked up from what they were doing. “Glory!” Buffy exclaimed, jumping up from the couch and pulling Annie up to rest on one hip as she started to back away towards where the others were working.


“Glory?!” came a cacophony of voices from behind her as the Scoobies all jumped up from their own seats at the realization of who was addressing them.


Spike was already beside Buffy, taking Annie from her, as Glory continued to speak. “Imagine my surprise when I started asking around about a couple of bottle blonds who think they own this town . . .” she said in a conversational tone as she continued walking towards Buffy and Spike. “and found out that it’s the Slayer and her vampire lover who attacked me and took my monk.”


Glory was standing in front of the pair now, smiling. Buffy’s heart was racing and she could feel Spike tense beside her as he turned to put more of his body between Annie and Glory.


Glory smiled and sing songed sweetly, “Isn’t she just the cutest thing?” as she reached a hand towards Annie. Buffy stepped between Glory and Spike and blocked her hand from reaching the child.


Glory shrugged and dropped her hand. “She yours?”


“Yes,” Buffy answered curtly.


Giles had come up behind Spike, taken Annie from him and started moving back towards the group by the research table.


“Funny.” Glory shoved Buffy to the side so she was face to face with Spike again. “She looks more like him.”


Glory ran a finger from Spike’s brow, down one cheek bone and settled it on his jaw. Spike tensed, squaring his shoulders and clinching his fists preparing for the fight when he heard Buffy in his mind, NOT HERE, too risky.


Spike forced himself to relax. Opening his fists and taking a breath, he spread his feet, threw his shoulders back, tucked his thumbs into his belt buckle and pursed his lips together, giving her his best "Big Bad" look.


“You must be something else,” Glory was saying, “vampire knocking up a Slayer.” Glory let her finger trail down his throat, across his adam’s apple and down his chest to settle on his hands that were on his belt buckle.


“Oh, I am.” He smirked, tilting his head slightly. Spike leaned in closer to Glory, his lips just an inch from hers. “Perhaps you’d like a little demonstration,” he said seductively as he raised one hand and ran a finger lightly down her bare arm.


Glory smiled, tilting her head as if to kiss him. “I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles your Slayer never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne, and you’d beg me to hurt you just a little bit more.”


“Would I, now?” Spike cocked an eyebrow as he continued running his fingers up and down her arm. “That sounds positively charming.” He ran his tongue along his teeth before continuing. ”You’re tense as a bow, pet. A good shag might be just the thing for you.”


Suddenly, Glory stepped back. “STOP!” she commanded at the group making their way upstairs.


While Spike was occupying Glory, Buffy started to usher the Scoobies, along with Annie, upstairs. “Go to Annie’s room,” she’d whispered to them, knowing that the Dagon Sphere was in there and would, hopefully, help repel Glory if she got by Buffy and Spike.


Everyone abruptly stopped and turned to face Glory. “It’s not polite to leave in the middle of a conversation. Where were you people raised, in a barn?”


“Now, I’m not here to fight," Glory continued. "If I were, you’d all be dead right now . . . well, maybe not the vampire.” She looked back at Spike, raking her eyes up and down him, before continuing. “I think you have something of mine or you know where it is, so this is simple. You just give me my Key and I’ll be on my way.” Glory smiled sweetly at the group and waited for a response.


Buffy stepped forward in front of the group on the stairs. “We have no idea what you’re talking about.”


“Oh, little girl, I think you do and it would be so much simpler if you’d just give me what I want.”


Buffy folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head to the side. “Got nothing you want.”


“Hmmm, well that remains to be seen.” Glory cut her eyes at Spike again before looking back at Buffy and continuing. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re going to give me my Key or I’m going to start killing all your little friends here, starting with your daughter.”


“Not very good strategy, that, pet,” Spike said matter-of-factly to Glory. “You kill the least important first, then work up towards the most important; only way to be taken serious. Thought you were a Hell god, or did ya’ miss that day at University?”


Glory smiled at him. “I like you.”


“I get that a lot.” He narrowed his eyes and smirked back at her.


Turning back to Buffy who was still standing in front of the group on the stairs, Glory smiled and continued. “You’ve got twenty four hours to hand over my Key or your friends will start dying and you, little girl, will get to watch each and every one of them as I rip them into pretty little red ribbons. I’m running out of time, so that means you are, too.”


Glory turned back towards the door, bringing herself within arm’s reach of Spike again, she trailed a finger across this chest and said, “See YOU later,” before walking out the door.


Everyone let out a collective breath as Glory left.


Buffy took Annie back from Giles before walking up next to Spike who hadn’t moved from his “Big Bad” stance. Snapping her fingers in front of his face she said, “You couldn’t have been a little less convincing with that?”


“What?! You told me not to fight, ‘s the next best thing I do, luv.” Spike smiled at her. “You’re not jealous, are you?”


“PLEASE! Of that bad home perm bitch god?” Buffy rolled her eyes.


Spike smiled, she is jealous, he thought to himself. Taking Buffy and Annie in an embrace he whispered in her ear, “You’re the only god I want, Buffy.”


Buffy rolled her eyes again and smiled. “I know,” she sighed.


Handing Annie to Spike, Buffy turned back to the group. “Ok, you heard her. We have twenty four hours to come up with a plan. Giles, I have to have that date like YESTERDAY. She said she was running out of time and she’s right about one thing, that means we are, too.”


**~**


“NO! Spike, that’s the craziest idea yet!” Buffy stared across the table at her husband. The group had been discussing ideas for hours and Spike’s latest one was the worst yet.


“Hear me out,” he started. “We just drive away, Buffy, all of us. Go out in the desert, Glory’ll never find us. If time’s short, then we just wait it out.”


“Spike, do I have to remind you that you’re a vampire? The desert, not big on shady places. If we have to fight in the middle of the day, then what? Or are you planning on luring her into the car and seducing her until sunset? Please think this through,” Buffy admonished him. “We go to L.A.; Angel and Faith can help us.”


Spike rolled his eyes. “Don’t need help from the wanker, Buffy.”


“Yes, we do,” Buffy countered. “This isn’t about you, Spike, this is about Annie and how to keep her safe . . . how to keep us all safe. Going to Angel’s is the best place to do that. If we’re lucky, Glory won’t find us and we can just have a nice vacation . . . if she does, then we have two more strong fighters on our side.”


Spike folded his arms across his chest and glowered at her. He didn’t want help from Angel. It was ok for him to go help Angel and his rag-tag crew with beasties from time to time, but he wasn’t asking Angel for anything.


“Spike,” Buffy started again, her voice soft. “You told me you’d do anything to protect Annie and me, do you remember?”


Spike didn’t answer, just continued to scowl at her, arms still folded across his chest.


Buffy continued. “This is what we have to do. This is what you have to do. This is the anything, Spike.”


Spike rolled his eyes to the ceiling before looking back at her. “Fine, but I still say going to the middle of nowhere would be better.”


Giles interrupted them. “Buffy, I believe we’ve got the time calculated properly now.”


Buffy and Spike looked expectantly at Giles and Willow, who were both looking at her computer screen.


“Yeah, it was a little tricky with the ancient algorithms, but, I think this is it,” Willow concurred.


“So, when is it? How long do we need to stall?” Buffy asked.


“Basically, two and a half days, starting now,” Willow said. “The window of time for the portal to open is Thursday at dawn. It’s . . .” Willow looked at the clock before continuing, “four p.m. Monday right now, so you’ve got tonight, all day and all night Tuesday and all day and all night Wednesday. If we can get past dawn on Thursday, we should be home free.” Willow smiled, pleased that she’d been able to work out the equations.


“So, Glory wasn’t kidding about time running short,” Buffy mused. “She may not wait the full twenty-four hours, either, before coming for us.” Buffy looked at Spike, “You need to leave tonight.”


“What d’ ya’ mean I need to leave tanight? Don’t you mean WE need to leave tanight?”


“No, I mean you and Annie, Willow and Giles need to leave tonight for L.A.,” Buffy said confidently. “Xander and I will stay here and stall Glory as long as we can . . . Anya . . . Anya can go with you or stay here, whichever she’d like.”


Xander, who had been sitting quietly listening to the discussions around him was suddenly jerked to attention. “What?!”


“Harris!?” Spike was incredulous. “What the fuck, Slayer! Have you lost your bleedin’ marbles?”


“Spike, you have to take Annie and go. You’re the only other one here that has any chance of protecting her. Xander is a good driver, if I can’t stop her from following you, I’ll need him to get me to L.A. to help you.”


“The monks said it would take the both of us to defeat her, Slayer. We need to stay together,” Spike reasoned with her.


“No, Spike . . . we’ll defeat her together . . . just not together together.” Buffy shook her head and started again, “We are together . . . our hearts are together, our minds are together, Spike, our souls are together . . . just because we aren’t physically together means nothing. This is how it has to be.”


Spike started to stand up and leave the table. “Please sit down,” Buffy implored him. “There’s more here to discuss.”


Spike purposely stood the rest of the way up and folded his arms over his chest in defiance of her request.


“Fine, stand then,” Buffy shook her head. “There’s one other thing that everyone here needs to know.”


When she was sure she had everyone’s full attention, she continued. “If anyone has any grandiose plans about saving the world by doing something to Annie, I’m here to tell you that Spike, Angel and I will kill anyone who tries anything.”


Buffy looked directly at Giles when she said it. She hadn’t told Spike of Giles’ "suggestion", but wanted to make sure that he knew of the threat and, at the same time, warn all of her friends in case any of them got the same idea or in case Giles had discussed it with any of them.


“Buffy, no one here would ever hurt Annie!” Xander spoke up.


Buffy looked at him. Of course Xander wouldn’t think anyone would hurt Annie, she thought. “Fine, just want everyone to be very clear on that point.”


Buffy stood up. “I need to talk to Spike in private, can you guys watch Annie a little while?”


"Of course," everyone agreed and watched the pair start up the stairs.


“You know, they’re going up there to have sex,” Anya pointed out.


“Yes, Ahn, we know,” Xander assured his girlfriend.


**~**


In their bedroom, Buffy sat down on the end of the bed and pulled Spike down to sit next to her.


“Spike, you have to make me a promise now.” Buffy looked at him, tears threatening at the back of her eyes.


Spike considered her a moment and said, “Anythin', you know that.”


“You have to promise that, no matter what else happens, you'll keep Annie safe.” Buffy’s eyes held his, green and blue each looking deep within the other, below the surface and into each other’s heart.


“You know I will, I promised you before, I’ll protect you both with m' life,” he assured her.


“No, Spike. Your priority is Annie, you keep Annie safe. Not because she’s the Key, but because she’s ours . . . yours and mine, no matter what else happens, you keep her safe.” Buffy’s meaning was clear.


“Buffy, I’ll not lose you . . . I couldn’t live without you . . . don’t make me choose.” Tears now burned at the back of Spike’s eyes, as well.


“You aren’t choosing, I’m choosing. I’m the Slayer and I’m always the one that has to make the final choice, Spike. Please do as I ask . . . if it comes down to me or Annie, you must choose her.”


When he didn’t respond, she implored him, “Promise me, Spike.”


Spike closed his eyes and rolled his head around and up to the ceiling before looking back at Buffy with glistening eyes. “I promise,” he whispered.


Buffy nodded and leaned in to kiss him, her hand gentle on the side of his face. Pulling away from the kiss and resting her forehead on his, she asked, “Would you just hold me a little while before you have to go?”


“’Course, pet.” The pair laid down, her head on his shoulder, one of her legs draped over his, one arm across his chiseled chest. Spike held her close to his body with one arm, slowly smoothing her hair as she snuggled against him, both warriors lost in thought. Thoughts of the battle to come, of their daughter, of memories past and what their future may hold . . . neither wanting to think further of the possibility that they may not both make it through the coming days.

Time Line:
Early May, 2001. Annie is a little over 2 years old. Buffy and Spike have been married a little over 2 years, it’s been nearly 3 years since they fell in love.

**~**

Buffy’s cell phone rang; the caller id said it was Spike.


“Hey, baby, miss me already?” she answered seductively.


Giles cleared his throat, “Buffy, it’s me.”


“Oh – Giles, sorry!”


“We’re being followed. It’s a red BMW convertible, not far behind us. It looks like Glory.”


Spike, Giles, Willow and Annie had only left about half an hour ago in the Desoto heading for L.A. Obviously, Glory had been waiting for someone to run. Fuck, Buffy thought, I should have sent a decoy out first.


“Where are you?”


After getting their location, Buffy said, “Ok, we’re on the way. Tell Spike not to drive too fast unless she makes a move on you. Give us a chance to get there and stop her.”


Closing the cell phone and rising from her chair, she said, “Ok, Xand, we’re up – let’s rock and roll.”

**~**


“There it is!” Xander said, pointing ahead of them about four cars. In the next lane and a little ahead of them was a red BMW convertible and it was most definitely Glory driving.


Buffy hit the speed dial on her phone, Giles answered and, without preamble Buffy said, “Ok, we’re here. We’re gonna block her, try to get her stopped. Tell Spike to punch it – get out of here.”


“Ok, Xander, do whatever you have to do to get her to slow down – if we can get her to stop, that would be even better,” Buffy instructed.


“And don’t die,” came from Anya in the back seat.


“Right. Hold on.” Xander had no idea how he was going to get the hell god to pull over, but he sped up, jumped in the lane in front of her and immediately hit his brakes - hard. Glory swerved off the shoulder to avoid hitting them and came to a stop about twenty feet off the pavement.


“Way to go, Xander!” Buffy exclaimed. “Pull over! Pull over! Keep the motor running.”


Before Xander could come to a stop, Buffy had the door open and was jumping out. Rolling to her feet, she sprinted back to where Glory’s car was stopped, but when she came up to it she stopped short. It wasn’t Glory, but a brown haired young man sitting behind the wheel. Buffy frowned and narrowed her eyes, considering this. Where had Glory gone? Buffy scanned the area but didn’t see anyone else.


“Are you ok?” Buffy asked warily.


“I . . . I think so, I don’t know what happened.” The young man looked perplexed.


“Who are you?” Buffy stood back from the car watching carefully.


“My name’s Ben. What’s going on? Who are you?” Ben looked at Buffy, questioning.


“I’m . . . I’m Buffy, you were nearly in an accident. I’m afraid it was all our fault.” Buffy motioned towards the car where Xander and Anya waited.


“Oh, well, there doesn’t seem to be any damage. Thank you for stopping though. That doesn’t happen often here.” Ben smiled at her.


“Yeah, sure. Where are you headed, anyway?”


“I’m not sure . . .” Ben tried to determine exactly where they were.


“Just out for a drive, then?” Buffy asked.


“Yeah, I guess that was it.” Ben smiled again. “Guess I better be going. It was nice to meet you.”


“Yeah.” Buffy turned and started walking back to Xander’s car, shaking her head, trying to figure out what was going on . . . how did Glory get out of that car and where is she now?


Just then, she heard a motor rev from behind her and dove out of the way just in time to avoid being run down by the red BMW. Catching a glimpse as the car sped past her, she could see that it was Glory driving now. What the fuck is going on? Jumping to her feet she ran back to Xander’s car and jumped in.


“GO!”


“Buffy, what’s going on? Why were you talking to her?” Xander asked as he tried to merge back onto the highway in pursuit of Glory.


“I . . . I don’t know . . . she wasn’t there . . . it was someone else . . . and then she was trying to run me down . . ." Buffy shook her head trying to clear the confusion. “I don’t know what’s going on. Just follow the car. Surely Spike’s gotten far enough away by now that she can’t catch him and follow.”


Xander did as she asked, keeping the BMW in sight. Buffy called Spike to find out where they were and, she was right, they were many miles ahead of them, so there was no way Glory could be following them.


Every once in a while, Xander would pull in front of Glory and slow down, making her keep her speed down, at least for a little while until she could change lanes. She didn’t seem to recognize them in the car, or, Buffy thought, She doesn’t care. Why doesn’t she care?

**~**

Tuesday, near dawn:


Spike pulled into the underground parking at the Hyperion Hotel in L.A., it was nearly dawn. Willow and Annie were asleep in the back seat, while Giles was keeping watch for any sign of Glory and her red BMW. What neither Spike nor Giles saw was the non-descript brown compact car that rolled slowly by the Hyperion when they had turned in, or the crusty minion that was behind the wheel of it.


Spike picked up the phone and hit the speed dial.


“Yeah,” came the answer from Buffy.


“We’re here,” Spike said simply.


“Good. Glory is just reaching the city limits, she couldn’t know where you are.” Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. “We’re going to stick with her. I’ll call you later, ok?”


“Ok.” Spike paused, “Buffy?”


“Yeah?”


“Be careful.”


“I’m the Queen of careful. I love you.” Buffy smiled into the phone.


“I love you, too,” Spike replied before hitting the end button.


Spike lifted Annie out of the car seat and woke Willow up. Giles grabbed Spike’s bag as well as his own, handing Willow hers and they trudged up the stairs that led to the hotel lobby. Angel and Faith were sitting in the small kitchen off to one side of the lobby when the trio walked in.


Angel was the first out the door to greet them. “Spike," he said dryly.


“Angel.” Spike forced his tone to be neutral as he addressed his grandsire. Spike had Annie in his arms, her sleeping head resting against his shoulder; he didn’t offer to shake hands.


Angel turned to the others. “Giles, Willow . . . welcome. We’ve got some rooms set up for you on the second floor.” Angel took one of the bags from Giles and led the way up the stairs.


After settling everyone into a room, satisfied that they didn’t need anything else, Angel went back to Spike’s room and stepped inside.


Spike looked up from where he was tucking Annie into the bed. “Didn’ Darla teach you any manners?”


“Spike, I know you don’t want to be here,” Angel started, Spike snorted like that was the understatement of the year but Angel ignored him. “I promised Buffy I would help take care of Annie and I meant it. You have to trust me, Spike . . . we have to trust each other in this.”


Spike studied him closely. “No matter how many promises you make to Buffy, you’re not gonna get her back, you know.”


“I know that, Spike,” Angel said, resigned. “She’s made that very clear. But that doesn’t mean I don’t owe her for what I’ve put her through.”


Spike cocked his head, eyes narrowed considering Angel. “What about what you’ve put me through . . . don’t think you owe me a bit?”


“Spike,” Angel dragged his name out, as if talking to an insolent child.


“Never mind, then. Gonna get some shut-eye. Wake me if anything comes up.” Spike turned from Angel and headed towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the door and took a deep breath, closing his eyes he let it out slowly. He absolutely hated having to get help from Angel.


**~**


Xander, Buffy and Anya watched as Glory pulled into one of the most posh hotels in Century City and went inside. Watching across the lobby, they could see her get a room and head to the elevators.


“We need to know what room she’s in,” Buffy said to no one in particular.


She was trying to think how to get that tidbit from the hotel desk clerk, knowing how tight lipped they were with things like that, when Anya said, “Why don’t we just follow her?”


Xander and Buffy looked at her. “Well, we’ve been following her all this way and she hasn’t cared, why should she start now?”


Unfortunately, that was true, and it bothered Buffy that it didn’t bother Glory that she was being followed.


Buffy shrugged and started towards the elevator right behind Glory. “You guys stay here in case she decks me,” she called over her shoulder.


Glory ignored Buffy as she stood behind her, waiting for the elevator to arrive. Inside the elevator, Glory addressed her, both women facing front towards the elevator doors. “Nice hotel, isn’t it?”


“Yes. Very,” Buffy agreed.


“Didn’t know they paid Slayer’s enough to afford it,” Glory continued amiably.


“Didn’t know they paid ex-hell gods anything . . ." Buffy countered.


Glory smiled and stepped out of the elevator on the seventh floor. “This is my stop. I’m in room 713, if you want to stop by later for a drink,” she called over her shoulder to Buffy.


Bad, bad, bad, bad! Buffy thought as she rode the elevator back down. She’s way too confident . . . we’re missing something.


She, Xander and Anya got a double room on the seventh floor as close to Glory as they could. One of them stayed in the hallway at all times near Glory’s room to make sure she didn’t leave, while the others would rest, taking shifts every hour. Glory had room service delivered, but never left her room.


Buffy called Spike later that afternoon and told him where they were and what had happened with Glory, including how unconcerned she was.


“Sure,” he’d said, “you put us up in this soddin’ flea bag hotel of Angel’s and you’re in the lap of luxury!”


Buffy laughed, which is what he wanted her to do. She talked to Annie and told her how much she missed her and loved her. She made Spike promise to get everyone there together and make sure there was always someone on lookout, because she had a bad feeling that Glory knew more than she was letting on.


“If she starts moving, I’ll call you,” she’d said, at last. “I love you, Spike, more than you’ll ever know.”


“I love you too, Buffy. Please be careful, luv. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you,” he said before hitting the end button.

**~**

Wednesday, 12am, Midnight:


Buffy was standing on the cliff, holding Annie, watching the sun start to rise on the horizon. She felt Spike walk up behind her and started to turn around to face him.


“Buffy! . . . Buffy, wake up!”


She opened her eyes to see Xander shaking her shoulder. “I’m up! I’m up!” she said, more to convince herself than Xander.


“She’s moving!” Anya called from the doorway.


“What time is it?” Buffy tried to focus on her watch.


“Midnight,” Xander told her.


Glory hadn’t left the hotel room the whole day yesterday or today. She’d order in room service, sometimes they would see Ben answer the door to let the waiter in with the food, other times it was Glory. They couldn’t figure out how Ben got in the room, but neither of them ever left the room, until now.


“Let’s go.” Buffy was up as they all three followed Glory onto the elevator.


“Midnight stroll?” Buffy asked.


“Something like that,” Glory answered cheerfully.


After retrieving their car from the valet, just behind Glory’s, they piled in and followed her.


“Something’s very wrong,” Buffy said. “Glory’s heading straight towards the Hyperion. She knows.”


Buffy called Spike. “Spike, she’s coming right for you! Somehow she knows where you are!”


“It’s ok, Buffy, we’re ready,” Spike assured her.


“Spike?”


“Yeah, luv?”


“Don’t forget your promise.” Buffy blinked back tears.


“I haven’t. I love you.”


“I love you, too. We’ll be there soon . . . along with Glory, apparently.”

Time Line:
Early May, 2001. Annie is a little over 2 years old. Buffy and Spike have been married a little over 2 years, it’s been nearly 3 years since they fell in love.

**~**

Glory pulled up in front of the Hyperion and parked on the street, walking up to the front doors, she threw a completely overpowered Charles Gunn out of the way like a rag doll before stepping inside.


“Come out, come out wherever you are!” Glory called from the center of the lobby.


Angel and Faith stepped out from his office. “Can I help you?” Angel asked casually.


“You can!” Glory smiled. “I’m supposed to meet someone here . . . blond, hot body, blue eyes, cheek bones . . .”


“Don’t know him,” Angel smiled back, crossing his arms across his chest.


“Well, you don’t mind if I just look around then, do you?” Glory started walking towards the stairs.


“Actually, I do.” Angel stepped in front of her and Glory sent him flying across the lobby to the opposite wall without breaking stride.


“Too bad.” Glory made it half way up the first flight of stairs before Faith caught her around the ankles and tumbled her back down.


Both women faced off at the foot of the stairs. “You really don’t want to get involved in this, girlie. Just ask your boyfriend.” Glory tilted her head to where Angel still lay unconscious.


Faith smiled at her. “He’s small potatoes compared to me, sister.”


And the fight began. Glory would send Faith flying but each time Faith would jump back up and come back at her, getting in a punch or kick before being tossed away again. Buffy came running in the front door seconds later and joined the fight. Xander and Anya followed her shortly and went to get Angel back on his feet as the two Slayers battled the hell god.


Buffy realized they needed to change the plan, she and Faith were getting beaten and tired, but Glory wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Then, suddenly, Glory was gone and Ben was standing there. The Slayers stopped mid punch to try and figure out what had happened, where had Glory gone?


"Ben?" Buffy questioned, looking at him curiously.


Xander and Anya had gotten Angel back up and he was walking across the floor to join back in the fight when Ben appeared. “She changed! She changed into him!” he exclaimed.


Everyone in the room looked at him like he had lost his mind. “Angel, what are you talking about?” Buffy asked. “This is Ben. Where’s Glory?”


“He IS GLORY!” Angel insisted.


Faith and Buffy shook their heads . . . this was a human . . . they didn’t fight humans normally. Angel grabbed some shackles and bound Ben’s hands and feet before dragging him downstairs to the reinforced cell in the basement.


“Ben is Glory?” Buffy asked as she followed him down the stairs to the basement.


“Yes!” Angel insisted.


“Then where's Glory?” Faith asked now, following behind Buffy.


“Glory turned into Ben," Angel explained. "Apparently, he is the human that was created to contain her. Did you people not READ the homework? Since she’s changed, can we assume that the time for the portal opening has passed?”


Faith and Buffy were still trying to get a grip on the Ben being Glory idea, like a word that's right on the tip of your tongue, but you can't manage to think of.


“I don’t know, better get Giles and Willow,” Buffy said as she gave up on trying to follow what Angel was saying about where Glory was.


Going back to the lobby, Angel called for Giles and Willow to come down. Spike, carrying Annie, followed them. Angel explained what happened, but none of the humans seemed to follow what he was saying . . . only Spike could comprehend and then remember the revelation that Ben and Glory were the same person.


Finally, Angel just told Willow and Giles to double check their calculations on the portal opening time and they set to work at the desk in the lobby double checking their calculations for the hundredth time.


Buffy and Faith were looking intently at the small video monitor that showed the prisoner in the cell in the basement. "Angel, why do you have that guy locked up?" Faith asked, pointing her finger at the small screen. Buffy and Faith turned accusatory eyes on Angel, waiting for his answer.


"That's Glory!" Angel insisted again and again Faith and Buffy looked at him like he had lost his mind.


"That's Ben!" Buffy insisted. "He's human. Why are you holding a human prisoner?" she asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion at Angel.


"Spike! Can you PLEASE explain this to YOUR wife?" Angel said, turning away from the Slayers in exasperation.


Spike walked up to Buffy and Faith and attempted again to explain that Ben and Glory are the same thing.


"Ok," Buffy said. "I think I understand. Ben is Glory."


"YES! Cupie doll for the Slayer!" Spike exclaimed.


"So, why don't you let Ben go?" Faith asked and Buffy nodded in agreement.


"Are you all very stoned?" Spike asked, just as exasperated as Angel.


Angel rolled his eyes. “Apparently, there’s some kind of forgetting spell that works on humans but doesn’t work on vampires,” he concluded as he walked over to the small monitor and clicked the power off so they couldn't see Ben any longer.


Faith and Buffy frowned a moment as the screen went dark, then Faith asked, "What are we doing now?"


"We're waiting for Giles and Willow to double check the portal opening time," Angel explained. Buffy and Faith nodded - Ben completely forgotten.


Faith went with Angel into his office while Spike, Buffy, and Annie sat on the sofa on one side of the lobby. Xander and Anya had retreated to the small kitchenette earlier and remained there. Anya was commenting on why, with all the technology they had, Willow was unable to accurately calculate something that was obviously originally calculated in ancient times . . . well before computers were even invented!


Thursday, 4am:


Everyone jumped when a loud clanging noise came from the basement. It sounded like a door being ripped from its hinges and flung across the room. Within seconds, the door to the basement flew across the lobby and Glory stood in the doorway.


“UPSTAIRS!” Buffy ordered, handing Annie to Spike. Spike hesitated a moment, he didn’t want to run upstairs like a ponce, but, with Annie now in his arms, he couldn’t very well fight, either. He followed Willow, Giles, Xander and Anya up the stairs. Buffy, Angel and Faith remained below.


“Willow! Protection barrier!” Buffy yelled.


Willow stood on the second floor landing and started chanting in Latin. Glory continued to advance on them.


“Time’s up, Slayer,” Glory crooned. “The way I see it, the three of you that followed me . . . not the Key. So, it has to be one of the others that ran. I’m betting on the kid. Timing’s just about right with when those monks escaped with it.”


“Willow! Anytime now!” Buffy yelled again. Finally, an invisible barrier came up between the three protectors and Glory. Glory banged her fist against it, it gave only slightly.


“Cute,” she said, punching it harder, it gave even more. Buffy looked up at the people on the second floor landing. “Spike, get out of here!”


Spike looked around, he couldn’t go down to the sewers or the street because of the barrier Willow had up, he had to go up. Heading to the stairs, he started up and away from where the confrontation with Glory would happen. It was only a little over an hour now until sunrise; all they had to do was hold her off until then.


Glory continued to pound on the barrier, so far, it continued to hold, but Buffy could see that Willow was getting drained from maintaining it against the onslaught. “Get ready, guys, that barrier isn’t going to hold much longer,” Buffy said to Angel and Faith and they nodded agreement.


With one final punch, the barrier exploded, sending Willow back against the wall behind her. The three protectors on the first floor were also flung backwards from the blast. Glory had made it all the way to the stairway before Faith overtook her and tumbled her back down.


“Would you quit doing that!” Glory exclaimed as she kicked Faith across the lobby. Buffy and Angel reached Glory at the same time, each got in a couple of good kicks before Glory dispatched them, as well.


Glory was on the second floor landing before Faith, Buffy and Angel could catch up to her again. The fight between the four continued, but eventually Glory had thrown all three of them over the railing and back to the marble floor of the lobby, rendering Faith and Angel unconscious. Buffy was a little better, but not much. As she struggled to get back to her feet, the whole room started to spin, or at least it felt that way. She dropped back to her knees, pressing her hands against her eyes to try and get the twirling and nausea to stop.


Willow did a spell to try and contain Glory again, but her magic was too depleted and it did little more than slow her down slightly as Glory headed for the stairwell where Spike had retreated with Annie. Xander, Giles and Anya all jumped on Glory, but she simply shrugged them off, tossing them all, including Willow, over the railing to land in a pile, like so much dirty laundry, on the floor below.


On the top floor, Glory emerged from the stairwell and stopped. “Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum,” she sing-songed, “I smell the blood of an Englishmon.” Walking down the hall, she kicked in each door as she went.


When she got close to the room Spike and Annie were in, Spike stepped out onto the fire escape and went to the roof.


Where are you? he heard Buffy ask in his head.


Roof, he mentally replied.


Glory? Buffy was asking.


Close, Spike replied as he moved across the roof back towards the main stairwell.


He stopped and listened, he couldn’t hear her anymore. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on picking up her scent, but got nothing. He reached for the handle of the door leading back into the main stairwell when it flew open and knocked him backwards. Rolling and protecting Annie from the fall, he landed about ten feet away from Glory as she emerged from the stairwell.


“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you, honey!” Glory smiled as Spike scrambled back up. Backing away from her, he edged back to where the fire escape was. As he reached it, Glory suddenly moved with speed he didn’t know she possessed and stood next to him.


“Now, where do you think you’re going with my Key?” she pouted.


Spike set Annie down on the floor behind him with one hand and swung at Glory with the other in one fluid motion. She ducked him and punched him hard, flipping him over the short wall that surrounded the roof and onto the fire escape landing behind him.


“There’s my Key!” Glory said, picking up Annie from the floor.


Before Glory got a good hold on Annie, Buffy was there and kicked Glory in the back, sending both Glory and Annie tumbling down onto the fire escape landing and knocking Spike back down as he was trying to recover.


“ANNIE!” Buffy yelled and jumped over the short wall to grab Annie’s hand before her daughter tumbled off the fire escape. Glory had already recovered and kicked Spike in the head before he could rise again, then punched Buffy hard in the jaw, sending Buffy backwards off the fire escape, still holding one of Annie’s hands in one of hers.


Buffy caught her other hand on the grate that formed the bottom of the fire escape landing. She was hanging on for dear life by one hand, the other holding Annie’s, as they both dangled in the air, several stories above the ground.


“Buffy!” Spike scrambled to grab her arm, but Glory kicked him again, sending him sprawling back away from Buffy. Glory bent down to pull Annie out of Buffy’s grasp, but Buffy twisted the arm holding Annie back so that she was out of Glory’s reach for the moment. Annie was screaming, crying, wriggling, and kicking in Buffy’s grasp. She silently prayed for her daughter to stop squirming, but it did no good.


Suddenly, Buffy saw Angel appear on the roof above them. He tackled Glory on the fire escape and both of them rolled off the platform.


Relief turned to horror when Buffy felt something jerk her legs hard. The arm she was hanging from felt like it would be pulled from its socket and she screamed out as pain knifed through her. Looking down at her feet, Buffy realized that Glory had somehow managed to grab onto her as she tumbled off the fire escape. Buffy kicked her feet at Glory to get her off, but she was losing her grip on the fire escape, with the extra weight and movement.


Suddenly, Spike was there, grabbing her hand, pulling her up, but Glory was hanging on her ankles, pulling and twisting and making the job of pulling them up that much more difficult. Buffy felt her daughter's hand slipping from hers and Glory was reaching towards Annie, trying to pull her down. Buffy could feel Annie slipping further from her grasp; she looked up and her eyes met Spike’s for the briefest moment. His eyes golden, game face on, struggling to pull them all up. Buffy’s green eyes resolute; she knew what she had to do.


Keep your promise! Spike heard her voice in his head.


I BLOODY WELL AM! He mentally snapped back. Spike was pulling with all his strength on Buffy’s hand, trying to haul them up, but Buffy knew she’d never be able to hold Annie long enough. She was barely holding on by her finger tips to the squirming child and she wouldn't be able to keep her out of Glory's reach for long. Buffy mustered all her strength, using her entire body like a whip, she swung Annie up towards Spike.


Annie was suddenly in front of him, suspended momentarily in mid air as her hand slipped out of Buffy’s. Spike had to choose at that moment to keep hold of Buffy or grab Annie.


ANNIE! he heard Buffy scream in his head.


With vampire speed, Spike reached one arm out and wrapped it around his daughter’s torso, pulling her back onto the fire escape while still holding tight with the other hand to Buffy. He strained against the weight, now being held with only one hand, and it pulled him down hard onto his stomach. He held his daughter tight to his side with one arm wrapped firmly around her while his other arm was extended past its limits holding Buffy and Glory.


He couldn’t get any traction on the metal grate of the fire escape and he started sliding towards the edge, the weight of Buffy alone wouldn’t have been a problem for him, but Glory was pulling and thrashing around with her whole body, trying desperately to pull the lot of them down, including her Key, and Buffy was kicking and thrashing her legs trying to kick Glory off.


Buffy could feel Spike sliding, feel herself falling further as he slid towards the open edge of the old fire escape. She reached out her now free hand towards the fire escape, but she could no longer reach it, too much of Spike’s arm was over the edge for her to reach any part of the structure. She could reach it with her legs, she thought . . . if I could just get this bitch off me! She kept kicking and twisting, trying to loosen Glory’s hold on her, but all that movement was just pulling Spike and Annie further over the edge.


Buffy felt a sudden drop and she looked up to see Spike’s entire torso was now off the platform. Annie, still held tight to his side, was off the platform, too. He spread his legs, pressing his hips down against the slick grating as hard as he could, trying to dig the toes of his boots onto something for traction, but there was none to be found. They were all going to fall; Spike might survive it, Buffy may even survive it, but Annie most certainly would not.


Buffy took her free hand and clamped it over the one Spike was holding her with. His grip was like steel around her hand as she met his eyes one last time. “I love you, Spike,” she said aloud before prying his fingers loose from where he held her.


It was like the world had stopped. Spike could see what Buffy was doing, he could feel her hand pulling free of his, but he was powerless to do anything about it. In slow motion, Buffy and Glory fell backwards, Buffy’s arms outstretched away from her sides in a swan dive. They landed with a sickening thud on the dirty pavement below, a tangle of limbs and blood.


“BUFFY!” Spike screamed. He held Annie tight to him as he looked down at the ground, the hand that had held her still reaching towards her. The love of his life lay bloodied and broken below him.


Suddenly, Xander was behind him, looking down, as well. “Oh, God!”


Then Willow, Giles, and Anya stumbled up, but all they could do was look down at Buffy’s crumpled body.


Spike shoved the hysterical Annie into Xander’s hands and rushed down the fire escape, reaching Buffy in what seemed only a heartbeat. He gathered his wife in his arms. “NO! No, no, no! Buffy!” He pressed his face against her chest, listened for her heartbeat; it was silent. “SLAYER! NO!” he screamed, holding her motionless body to him. Angel stumbled up behind him, but crumpled down again when he saw Buffy motionless in Spike’s arms.


The others finally made it down the fire escape and dropped to their knees around Spike who continued to chant “no, no, no” as he rocked his wife’s body in his arms, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face as he held her against his chest. Just as he’d done that first night so long ago, comforting her, giving her strength, telling her everything would be ok. Now he had nothing to give her, he couldn’t fix this and he knew nothing would ever be ok again.


Suddenly, Spike stopped moving, stopped chanting and looked at Willow who was sobbing uncontrollably beside him. “Witch! You can fix this!” Spike grabbed her shoulder with one hand and shook her. “Red! You’ve gotta fix this! Bring her back!”


“Spike, I . . . I don’t think I can . . . I don’t have that power . . . I wouldn’t even know how . . .” Willow stammered back at him.


“You CAN! You MUST! You gave ME a soddin’ soul! Bring hers back!” Spike demanded. “Buffy said you were the most powerful of all of us! BRING. HER. BACK!” He shook Willow even harder now.


Giles stepped up and grabbed the hand that Spike was using to shake Willow. “Spike, stop. Spike! You must stop!”


Spike pulled his hand back from Willow and gently cupped Buffy’s bruised and bloodied face with it, still rocking her softly and holding her to his chest. “I can’t live without ‘er, Watcher. Red can do it.” He looked up at Giles, eyes swollen, rimmed in red, tears covering his face. “I know she can . . . bring her back. Please, God, please bring her back!” He buried his face against Buffy’s shoulder, sobs wracking his body as he went back to chanting “no, no, no” against her now cool skin.


It wasn’t until the paramedics and police arrived that anyone noticed that, sometime during the fall from the roof, Glory had morphed back into Ben. Ben was dead, too.

Time line:
Spans from early May, 2001 to September 2001. Annie is a little over 2 years old, nearing 3 by the end of the chapter . Buffy died in early May 2001.

May 2001:

Spike was inconsolable. When the coroner came to retrieve the bodies, Angel and Faith, who had finally recovered from Glory’s beating, had to physically restrain him to allow the Medical Examiner to do his job.


Back in Sunnydale, Giles took care of the funeral arrangements for Buffy as Spike was simply incapable of making any decisions at all. Buffy was buried next to her Mom in another night time, candlelit, service. After the service, all the Scoobies went back to the mansion with Spike to make sure he was alright.


Spike took Annie upstairs to bed, and, when he didn’t come back downstairs, Willow went up to check on him. Spike had laid down on the floor next to his daughter's crib and fallen into a fitful sleep. His dreams were always filled with those few seconds when Buffy’s hand slipped from his and she was falling. Willow covered him with a blanket; tears filled her eyes as he called Buffy’s name in his sleep. Sure that Spike was ok for the night, she sent the rest of the Scoobies home and she laid down on the couch in the great room and fell asleep herself.


Willow woke pre-dawn the next morning. Looking in to Annie’s room, she found Annie sleeping peacefully in her crib, but Spike was gone. She searched the entire mansion for him, but he wasn’t there.


**~**


Xander arrived at the cemetery just at the crack of dawn, he had stumbled out of bed in a fog after Willow called to say that Spike was missing. Xander knew exactly where Spike would be. Heading for the now all too familiar section of the cemetery where the Summers women were buried, he saw Spike laid out on top of Buffy’s grave, he was laying on his stomach, head on his hands when Xander walked up to him.


“So, you just gonna wait for the sun to come up, then?” Xander asked as he reached him.


“I am.” Spike didn’t look at him.


Xander nodded. “Yeah, I can see how that would be easier.”


Spike didn’t respond.


“I guess Buffy was wrong about you, after all,” Xander prodded.


“How ya' figure?”


“Well, she believed in you. She said you were a warrior, like her. Turns out, you’re just a coward, like Angel.” Xander threw everything he could think of at Spike.


“Reckon so. She’d a’ been better off with the ponce,” Spike replied, his tone was flat, he still hadn’t moved or looked at Xander.


This is bad, Xander thought. If comparing him to Angel didn’t get a rise out of him, he wasn’t sure what would.


Xander sighed. “So, that’s it then. You just gonna go? No goodbye's, no nice knowin’ ya’s?”


“That’s the idea.”


“Well, just goes to show, you can’t trust a monster to keep his promises, can you?”


That did it. Spike sprang to his feet in full game face. He had Xander pinned to the ground in a flash.


“I KEPT MY BLEEDIN’ PROMISE, DIDN’ I? SAVED ANNIE, KILLED BUFFY! DID AS SHE ASKED!” Tears burned Spikes eyes, he shut them, jaw clenched, holding the tears back.


“Buffy trusted you to take care of Annie, not just that night, but forever, Spike. Your promise isn't finished.” Xander spoke calmly, despite the demon on top of him, he knew Spike wouldn’t hurt him; Buffy wouldn’t approve. “And, you didn’t kill Buffy, she made a choice. She’s the Slayer, Spike. You know you can’t argue with her when she’s made up her mind.”


Spike rolled off Xander and laid on his back on the ground next to him, palms pressing into his eyes to stem the tears that seemed ever present since that terrible day.


Xander stood up and reached a hand down towards Spike, “Com’on, gonna be light soon,” Xander said, looking at the sun that was just starting to peak over the tops of the trees that surrounded the cemetery.


Spike took a deep breath, wiping hard at his eyes before taking Xander’s hand and his offer for help up from the ground.


“We’ll all help you, Spike,” Xander said as they walked back to his car. “But you can’t bail on us.”


This walk was getting much too familiar.


**~**

June 2001:


Despite Spike’s word that he wouldn’t bail on them and that he would take care of Annie, it was a struggle to just to make it from day to day. He barely ate, only doing so when Willow or Xander insisted, he much preferred the Jack Daniels which seemed to have now become his constant companion. His hair, which he’d always kept just so, was now a mane of curls, growing in dark at the roots, just the ends still colored in his trademark platinum. When Willow came to the mansion one day and found the electricity had been turned off, she asked Spike if he had paid the bill; he just shrugged. Buffy had always done that, he hadn’t even thought of it.


Anya gathered up the piles of mail where Spike had tossed it on the floor of the room Buffy had used as her office, where all the bills and bank statements were kept. She went through it all for him, catching up the bills and making sure everyone had gotten paid.


Going through the papers in one of the drawers, Anya came across a Life Insurance Policy. Buffy had taken out a $2 million double indemnity life insurance policy on herself naming Spike, as well as a trust for Annie, as the beneficiaries.


The whole gang had gathered at the mansion as they did regularly, trying to keep Spike’s spirits up and keep him involved in things other than simply caring for Annie, and they were currently sitting around the research table discussing the latest demon sighting.


Anya approached the group with the life insurance policy in her hand. “Spike’s rich,” she announced to the group. “Well, Spike and Annie.” She waved the papers around in the air.


“Whatcha talking about Ahn?” Xander grabbed the papers from her hand.


“Life insurance. Buffy took out life insurance on herself. Since she didn’t die from natural causes, it’s worth $4 million,” Anya explained.


“Good Lord.” Giles leaned over to look at the papers that Xander was reading.


“Wow!” Willow leaned in, too.


Spike was the only one that seemed totally disinterested in what they were looking at.


“Did you know about this, Spike?” Giles asked him.


Spike shook his head. “No, didn’t know. Money’s not gonna bring ‘er back now, is it?”


“Yes, well, I suppose not, but it may be helpful for Annie in the future, for college and so forth,” Giles intoned.


“You need to file for it within ninety days of death,” Anya offered. “I can do it for you, if you want.”


Spike shrugged. “Do whatever you like.”

**~**

July 2001:


Despite their best efforts, the gang couldn’t get Spike to do regular patrols. Most days he wouldn’t let Annie out of his sight for a minute. At night, he slept on the floor in Annie’s room, he wouldn’t even go into the bedroom he’d shared for the last three years with Buffy. A few days after Buffy’s funeral, after noticing that Spike hadn’t changed clothes, Willow went in to the couple’s bedroom and brought his clothes out, putting them in one of the empty guest rooms for him.


Since Spike remained so despondent, Willow moved into the mansion with Spike and Annie, taking over Angel’s old room. She had met a girl at college, another Wiccan, Tara, and she often stayed over at the mansion as well. Spike liked the two witches as much as he liked anything these days, and trusted them with Annie. They tried to act like they were just friends around the rest of the gang, he noticed, but he knew differently . . . it was hard for his vampire senses to miss the smell of sex on the girls when they were both living with him.


Today, Spike had been playing with Annie, but Willow insisted that they needed to take her shopping for some new clothes; her old ones were just getting too small for her, and Spike had acquiesced.


Now he was lying on the floor in the training room, a half empty bottle of Jack in one hand. He heard the door to the training room open and close. He sighed. His eyes were closed, but he knew who it was before the visitor said anything.


“Angel,” Spike said flatly, not opening his eyes.


“Spike,” Angel replied just as evenly.


Angel walked further in the room towards the spot where Spike was laying atop a pile of mats on the floor.


“I see why you stay in here a lot,” Angel said conversationally. “Her scent’s fading from the other room, but it still smells like her in here.” Angel closed his eyes and breathed deeply of the aroma of Buffy.


Practically every surface in the room had been covered with Buffy’s blood or sweat at one time or another, not to mention the times she and Spike had made love in there after a sparring match, and, with no one else using it, there was nothing to cover up the old scent.


“Spike,” Angel started again. “You’ve got to snap out of this.”


“What's this, a bleedin’ intervention?” Spike hadn’t moved or even looked at Angel.


“Do you need an intervention?” Angel walked closer to him. “Your friends are worried about you, they say you’re drinking too much and not eating.”


“Yeah, well, not their problem, is it?” Spike’s voice elevated. “Not yours, either.”


“That’s the thing about friends, Spike, they butt in whether you want them to or not.” Angel stopped a few feet short of where Spike was laying. “You’ve got to let her go, Spike.”


Spike shot upright and threw the whisky bottle at Angel. “Like bloody hell, I do!”


Angel ducked and the bottle crashed against the wall behind him, sending glass and liquid in all directions.


Spike was standing in Angel’s face now. “You didn’t love ‘er like I did! You don’t have a gaping hole in your chest where she was! Haven't had your heart and soddin’ soul torn out! You’ve no right to tell me to let ‘er go! I’ll NEVER LET ‘ER GO!”


Angel grabbed Spike by the front of his shirt and shook him. “You’re not doing anyone any good like this, Spike! Not Annie and not yourself! YOU HAVE TO LET HER GO!”


“SOD OFF, ANGEL!” Spike punched Angel in the jaw. Angel dropped his hold on Spike and stumbled backwards.


Spike stormed out of the room, leaving Angel rubbing his jaw and shaking his head. “That went well,” he mumbled to himself.


**~**


“Is she asleep?” Willow asked as Spike descended the stairs after putting Annie to bed that night.


“Yeah,” Spike answered tiredly.


“I need to talk to you, Red.” Spike sat down on the couch with Willow.


“Sure.”


Spike took Willow by the shoulders and turned her to face him so he could look her in the eye. “You've gotta' bring Buffy back.” He said it calmly, as if he were asking her to make a cuppa.


“Spike, I don’t know if I can,” Willow answered.


Spike considered this, she didn’t say no, she didn’t say she couldn’t or that she wouldn’t . . . “So, that means you might be able to?” he asked.


Willow shrugged.


“Buffy said you were the most powerful of all of us, Red. She had faith in you.”


“Well, you remember Buffy, nice enough girl, but not too bright . . .” Willow smiled.


“Willow," Spike used her name for possibly the first time ever. "Tell me you’ll try. I can’t go on like this, I just can’t,” Spike pleaded with her.


Willow sighed. “Spike, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but Tara and me, well . . . we’ve been working on something.” Spike brightened, it was the first time Willow could remember him looking the least bit hopeful since Buffy died.


“Please understand, I don’t know if it will even work, I don’t know if we can even get everything we need to do the spell,” Willow rushed to say, lest he get his hopes up too much.


“Tell me what you need. I might be able to find things you can’t . . . on the black market, in the underground.” Tears of hope were threatening at the back of Spike’s eyes. “Let me help.”

**~**


September, 2001:


Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Spike were in the training room, a large double circle of candles surrounded Willow, one black and one white. Willow sat in the exact center of the circle of candles, holding the Urn of Osiris in her hands, in front of her was a photograph of Buffy.


Tara, Xander, Anya and Spike stood at the four compass points, North, South, East and West. Willow began the spell to bring Buffy back:


"Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us.


Before time, and after."


Willow dipped her finger in the blood in the urn and touched her forehead with it.


"Before knowing and nothing."


Willow dipped her finger in the blood in the urn and touched her eyelids with it.


"Accept our offering. Know our prayer.


"Osiris! The warrior of the people has sacrificed her life protecting the world.


"Let her cross over.


"Osiris, let her cross over!


"Osiris, release her!"


Willow poured the remaining blood over the picture of Buffy that was in front of her. As soon as the last drop left the urn and dripped onto the photograph, a bolt of energy shot from each of the people outside the circle into Willow. Willow’s head snapped back, her eyes turned black with magicks and her arms stretched to the ceiling. Suddenly all the energy that was flowing into her, shot up through her finger tips, there was a bright flash of light and what sounded like a crack of thunder, then all the candles blew out and everything was still and quiet.


The five people in the room collapsed, completely drained of energy.


Buffy blinked, tried to focus her eyes, but everything was dark. Where she had at one moment been encompassed in warmth and golden light, she now was somewhere cold and dark. She tried to feel around her, to figure out where she was, but couldn’t feel anything she recognized.


“Hello?” she called out timidly, biting her lip and rubbing her eyes. “Hello?” she tried again.


“Buffy?” she heard someone say.


“Where am I?” Buffy asked. Suddenly, someone lit a candle and she could see people lying on the floor around her, she turned to look all around, squinted to try and make out who it was.


“Hello?” she called again.


Suddenly Spike was in front of her. “Buffy!” he said too loudly and she backed away, holding her ears.


“Where am I?” she asked again.


“Buffy,” Spike said more calmly now. “Buffy, you’re home, luv. Christ, you’re home!”


“Spike?” Buffy tried to focus on the face in front of her.


“Yeah, luv. It’s me.” He reached a hand out to touch her face, to make sure she was real. She pulled back from him and he stilled his hand in midair. “It’s ok, Buffy, everything’s ok now,” he said soothingly.


“What happened?”


“Glory . . . you died. We brought you back.” Spikes eyes threatened tears, but for the first time in months, they were tears of joy. He reached for her again and this time she didn’t pull away. He laid his hand gently on her cheek and closed his eyes, she was real, she was here. Buffy was back.


Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara were up now and standing around the pair. Buffy was nude so Xander ran and grabbed a throw from the couch and brought it back to Spike.


“Here, luv, let’s do this.” He held the small blanket out and wrapped it around her. Buffy took it and held it under her arms, looking around at the faces surrounding her.


Willow knelt down beside them. “Buffy, do you know us?”


“Willow,” Buffy responded slowly.


“Right! You remember!” Willow exclaimed, sending Buffy sliding back away from her and covering her ears.


“Oh, sorry. Buffy, I’m sorry,” Willow said in a quiet voice. “Do you need something to eat, or drink or . . . anything at all?”


Buffy furrowed her brow and shook her head.


“Mmmaybe she needs to rest. This was probably as big a shock to her as it was to us,” Tara suggested.


Buffy looked at her and tilted her head, then looked at Xander and Anya and back to Tara.


“Do I know you?” Buffy asked.


“Oh, Buffy, this is Tara, she’s my . . . umm . . . my friend. She’s a witch, too!” Willow explained.


Buffy nodded, but still looked confused. “I think maybe I should lie down, maybe sleep will help. I feel . . . foggy,” Buffy agreed with Tara’s suggestion.


“Right, then. Here we go.” Spike scooped her up in his arms and stood up in one motion. Holding her against his chest he thought he’d die of happiness right then. Buffy was back!


Spike carried her upstairs to their room, the room he hadn’t been able to go into since she’d died. When he opened the door, he was relieved to see that someone had cleaned in here, probably Red, he thought. He laid Buffy down on the bed and knelt beside her, taking her hands in his.


“Buffy, I missed you so much, luv.”


“How long?” Buffy asked.


“147 days yesterday . . . 148 days today. But I guess today doesn’t count now, does it?” he told her.


“How long was it for you, where you were?” he asked.


“Longer,” she replied and Spike nodded.


“Annie?” Buffy questioned.


“She’s fine, luv, perfectly fine! You saved her, you saved both of us. Do you want to see her now?” Tears welled in Spike’s eyes again as he looked at his wife, the person he thought he’d never see again was actually here, back in their bed, back in his unlife.


“Maybe in the morning would be better?” Buffy answered slowly.


“Sure, luv, whatever you want,” he smiled at her.


Spike reached up to the chain he wore around his neck. Opening the clasp, he slid two rings off it and into his hand. Taking Buffy’s left hand in his, he slid her engagement ring and wedding band back onto her finger.


“God, Buffy, you don’t know how I missed you, luv. I love you so much.” Still kneeling beside her, he laid his head down on her abdomen and let the tears that had been threatening fall freely.


She ran a hand through his hair. “I love you, too, Spike.”