Chapter 1

“Are you sure about this? I don’t think you’ve really thought this through.”

Spike rolled his eyes, getting tired of the lecture. “I know everything I need to. Joyce was a friend of mine, she was practically a second mother, but she’s gone now, leaving Buffy and Dawn by themselves. I’ve known Buffy since she was fourteen. Her and Dawn are like my family, and I can’t abandon them now. Joyce was all they had, and now the bloody social services are coming around, talking about taking Dawn away because Buffy isn’t fit to raise her. I can’t let that happen, mate. I can’t let them put Dawn in foster care, while Buffy gets sent to some special school or whatnot. I can’t let them get separated; these girls have been through enough as it is.”

Xander Harris nodded after his speech, still not thinking this was the best idea, but knew that when his friend set his mind on something, there was no changing it. “Okay, I can understand why you would want to do this, but do you think you’re ready for the responsibility of caring for two kids? You’re twenty-six, recently divorced; I just think this is a lot to deal with.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m ready or not, I’m doing it. Buffy is eighteen now, it’s not like she’s a child.”

Xander agreed. “Yeah, but she’s not your average eighteen-year-old.”

“I don’t care,” Spike claimed. “They don’t have anyone else. Once the social worker shows up, I’ll prove to her just how capable I am of having the girls in my custody. I won’t let them get separated.”

Xander looked at him in admiration. Spike had the whole tough guy exterior going on, but deep down, he had a big heart, which made it so much easier to get broken. After all that Drusilla put him through, he didn’t want his friend to go through something like that again, maybe this was just what he needed to finally put the past behind him and move on.


* * * * *


“You seem to have everything in order, Mr. Pratt, but you must understand how very reluctant I am about this situation. In such circumstances, the children would go to the next of kin, but since there isn’t one; a foster home is usually the only other option. You seem like a lovely man, but you’re young, living alone in this big house, one that doesn’t seem very appropriate for a handicapped teenager and small child, you have to know how this looks.”

Spike agreed. “I’m aware of that, but I promise that I can do this. I have a contractor coming in two days to fix this place up, and make it more suitable for them to live in. The only thing Joyce asked of me before she died was that I look after her daughters, I can’t let her down. She’s always been there for me. Please, Ms. Sharp, I’m begging you here. Just give me a chance to prove to you that I’m not completely in over my head, these girls mean a lot to me.”

She could tell how sincere he was, nodding after a moment. “All right, we’ll give this a trial run, but I will be showing up at least twice a month to check on your progress.”

He smiled, shaking her hand. “Thank you, I promise you won’t regret this.”

She returned his smile. “I have a feeling that I won’t. Have a nice day, Mr. Pratt. I’ll be seeing you soon.”


* * * * *


“Watch your step; I’m hoping to fix this doorway so it’ll be easier for you.”

Buffy gave him a look, as much as she could. “Spike, I’m not completely helpless, you don’t need to coddle me. I should be able to find my way through your house without falling on my face. I’ve had a lot of practice,” she said, shaking her cane at him.

He had to smile at that. “Right you are, love, but I’m not taking any chances with you. One screw up, and they’ll send you both away. You don’t want that, do you?”

Buffy shuddered at the thought of being separated from her sister and Spike, the only two people she had left in the world. “No, I don’t, but it means a lot that you decided to do this. I know how hard things have been lately, with Drusilla and all, I just want you to know that we really appreciate it.”

“It’s no trouble at all. This whole thing has actually made me forget a little about my conniving ex-wife, and how she was unfaithful pretty much during our whole marriage. It’s been a great distraction.”

“Glad we could help,” Buffy responded. “You were too good for her.”

Spike watched her walk into his living room, a smile forming on his face. He definitely made the right decision.


* * * * *


“Which one is this?”

“Dinosaur!” the little girl yelled.

Spike grinned. “Ah, yes, but do you know what kind?”

She frowned, shaking her head.

“It’s a T-Rex, very dangerous; we should watch Jurassic Park when you’re old enough. I think you might like it.” He handed the dinosaur back to her, watching as she grabbed a Barbie doll instead. “I guess that makes more sense.”

“How many toys did you buy for her?” Buffy spoke up.

Spike shrugged. “Not much, I just want her to be comfortable. This is your home now; I want you to have everything you need.”

“You don’t have to do all of this, Dawn already idolizes you.”

He blushed, watching the little girl play with her new toys, and feeling pleased that he could bring joy to her face.

Buffy sat down next to him on the couch, feeling around to make sure she wasn’t sitting on anything, not realizing just how close she was to Spike, until her hand brushed against his crotch. She quickly pulled away as if burned, hearing his sharp intake of breath. “I’m sorry.”

Spike shook his head. “That’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He took her hand in his, giving it a light squeeze.

She took in a deep breath, turning her head toward him. “Can I? It’s been a while.”

Spike nodded, knowing exactly what she wanted. “Go ahead.”

Buffy reached up to his face, tenderly tracing his cheekbones, moving to his smooth lips. She liked to get a feel of what someone looked like, and this was the only way for her to get a clear picture in her head. Spike never seemed to be bothered by it, so she took that as a good sign. Buffy smiled when she felt his eyes close, like he was enjoying the caress as much as she was. “Where did this come from?” she asked him, touching a scar on his eyebrow, not remembering it being there before.

“A parting gift from Drusilla, she didn’t take too kindly to the divorce.”

“I swear, I would love to give that bitch a piece of my mind,” Buffy spat.

He grinned. “Kitten has claws, does she?”

“Damn right, she does. Why should I be the only one who’s blind? I have an urge to scratch her eyes out.” Her fingers continued to travel down his face, shaking her head in confusion. “She’s a complete moron, having you to come home to and still managed to cheat? I’ll never understand some people.” Buffy felt him smile, which caused her to do the same, her voice softening. “You’re so beautiful.” She turned away, a blush tinting her cheeks.

Spike wouldn’t have that. “Hey, there’s no need to be shy with me. Although, I think I would prefer sexy, or ruggedly handsome, but whatever works for you. I like when you do that. No one sees me the way you do.”

“I just wish I really could,” she said, lowering her head in sadness.

“You do, pet; it’s just in a different way. Besides, sometimes I’m not that much to look at.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe that. Sometimes, I wish I could see the world like everyone else does. The people, colors, animals, I’ve missed out on so much, but then I think I got the better deal. There’s so much ugliness, too. Death, violence, suffering, none of it good. The worst thing is that I can’t even see myself. I could be having a bad hair day and never know it.”

He laughed, knowing that she was trying to lighten up the sudden seriousness in the room. Whether she could see it or not, his girl always liked to make people smile. Spike frowned at that. When did he start thinking of Buffy as his girl?

Chapter 2

“So, everything’s going okay?”

Spike nodded. “It’s only been a few weeks, but things are going better than I thought. The girls are great, so polite, helpful; I even caught Dawn sweeping my kitchen floor. Of course, it’s a little baby broom that I got for her, she actually picked it out herself. It amazes me how bright that kid is, and she’s only two. I’ve always wanted children, but Dru never did; now I’m really glad for that. Could you imagine her as a mother?” he wondered, shuddering at just the thought of it.

Xander grimaced. “I fear for the kid already, and it’s not even born yet.”

“Right there with you,” Spike responded, a smile lighting up his features. “Buffy’s a wonderful big sister, it’s really nice having her around. She keeps trying to show that she can handle things that other girls can, but she doesn’t have to prove anything to me. It breaks my heart sometimes, seeing all that she’s had to deal with, but I think it’s only made her stronger in the end. She’s bloody incredible.”

Xander raised his eyebrows, taking a deep breath before saying what he needed to. “Spike, just out of curiosity, that crush you used to have; it’s not still there, is it?”

He looked away, glancing back at his concerned friend a second later. “It’s not just a crush anymore, mate. I know that’s one reason of why you didn’t think it was a good idea for me to take them in, and I completely understand that. I’ve had my doubts, too, but I just don’t know what to do. A part of me knows it’s wrong. Buffy is barely legal, she’s had a rough time, I’m eight years older, divorced, I’ve had this whole life already and she’s only just starting out. Not only that, but she’s in my custody now. If I make one wrong move, they could get taken away. Believe me, I’ve thought this all through, but that doesn’t change anything. The way she makes me feel…” Spike trailed off, shaking his head in sudden anger. “Fuck, I’m so bloody disgusted with myself for having these thoughts. They’ve been there since she was sixteen; I know that’s one reason of why Dru took up with other men. She knew of my feelings, it’s what drove her away. I’ve been getting distant, and she could see it. What kind of person does that make me?”

Xander shrugged. “It makes you human, just like the rest of us. Drusilla was a demented harpy, sorry to say that, but it’s true. You can’t blame yourself for the fact she chose to get pleasure elsewhere, there is no good enough reason to cheat in a marriage. I’ve been with my Anya for six years now, and not once did I ever think about straying. Look, I’m definitely not someone who would judge. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but how does Buffy feel? I think that should be considered before you start beating yourself up about this.”

Spike gave that some consideration. “I don’t know. She’s been flirtier than usual, but she’s a teenager. I just figured they were all like that, it probably doesn’t mean anything. I’ve been out of the dating game for years, I’ll be damned if I know how women act anymore when they’re interested in someone. Let’s just drop this, okay? We’re supposed to be working. We can save the serious conversations for later,” he finished, rubbing his eyes, and really regretting that he chose to work on the yard during what had to be the hottest day of the year. A noise turned his attention to the back door of his house, only to see Buffy stumble out and fall to the ground, he hurried over to her side. “Love, are you all right?” Spike asked, helping her up and noticing the spilled beverages at her feet.

Buffy gave him an embarrassed smile, grabbing his arm, or what she thought was his arm. She blushed even harder when she came in contact with his hard, shirtless chest, quickly pulling away. “Sorry, I wanted to bring you guys some lemonade, but I guess I made a mess instead.”

He smiled, brushing the hair out of her face. “That was very nice of you, sweetheart, but we’re almost done here. We should be in soon.”

She nodded, giving him one more smile before carefully heading back inside.

Spike turned back to Xander, the smile now gone. “I’m in big trouble.”


* * * * *


He found Buffy in her room later that night, sitting in front of the mirror as she brushed her long, blonde hair. He stepped inside, knowing that she sensed him there, and without saying anything, took the brush from her to continue what she started. Spike was surprised that she let him, Drusilla always hated when he would brush her hair, saying that he couldn’t do it right. Yes, because that usually took a lot of effort, but she would occasionally have temper tantrums, and it was best to leave things alone when she got like that.

Buffy’s gaze never left her reflection in the mirror; she liked to pretend that she could see herself staring back. “How does it look?” she asked, referring to her hair.

Spike smiled warmly. “You’re gorgeous.”

That astonished her, she always imagined to be plain looking, but could tell by the tone of his voice that he was being genuine. Buffy knew that he was a very good looking man, she didn’t need her eyesight to tell her that, and just the contemplation that he thought her to be gorgeous was enough to put a smile on her face.


* * * * *


Spike couldn’t sleep, too busy tossing and turning. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t get her out of his head. No one had ever affected him like that before, not even Drusilla, or the few girlfriends he had previous to her. Several more minutes went by, and he decided to give up, slumber was not happening. With that thought in mind, he got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to make a snack, figuring there was no point putting on clothes, when a noise coming from Buffy’s room caught his attention. He knew it would be wrong to take a peek, but found that he couldn’t help himself as he moved over to her doorway, seeing that it was half closed. His jaw nearly dropped at the sight before him. Buffy was laying in bed, naked, her right hand moving leisurely in and out of her pussy, while the left tugged at her nipples, soft moans escaping from her throat. It was by far the sexiest thing he had ever seen, and he felt like a monster for watching such a private moment, but couldn’t seem to look away. Spike pushed the door open, which caused it to squeak, and Buffy knew she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Spike, is that you?”

He gulped, not knowing what to say, but continued to step further into the room, sitting on the edge of her bed. “It’s me,” he replied softly, not wanting to scare her.

Buffy went to cover herself, but he wouldn’t allow it.

“You don’t have to hide from me, love. I’m sorry for watching you like that, but I couldn’t help myself. God, you’re so bloody gorgeous. I want you so badly, Buffy, and I know it’s wrong. I shouldn’t be in here taking advantage. You trusted me to look after you and your sister, and I’m not doing a great job of that, but I can’t stop thinking about you, no matter how much I should.” Spike paused, finally taking notice of how bad this situation must seem to her. “Fuck, what am I doing? I’m sorry for intruding on you like this. We can just forget it ever happened. I’ll leave you to your privacy now.” He was about to stand up, but a firm grip on his arm had him stopping his movements.

“Please, don’t go, I need you.”

Spike sat back down, clearly stunned by that, but she wasn’t finished.

“What you said, it’s everything I’ve been feeling. I’ve wanted you since you first moved next door. I knew you were married and older than me, but I didn’t care. You were always in my heart, from the first moment I tripped and scraped my knee. You came over, picked me up, and kissed it all better. I swear, it actually stopped hurting after that,” Buffy explained with a little laugh, taking on a serious expression. “I know I’m not like other girls. I’ve always been a freak, but you never once saw that. You didn’t treat me like an invalid. You always treated me like everyone else, with respect, and I never told you how much that meant to me.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I love you, Spike. I’ve tried to stop, but I can’t. I don’t have it in me. When Drusilla left you, I was so pissed off. You never deserved that, and as much as I wanted her out of the picture, I knew it would break your heart. I would never wish that on you. All I cared about was your happiness, even if it wasn’t with me. And now, hearing what you just said, I never thought you would have ever noticed me like that. It’s always been a dream of mine that you might one day, but I never expected it to happen.”

Spike didn’t even realize that he had tears in his eyes, softly caressing her cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and pressing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Fuck the consequences, for once; he was doing what he wanted.

Chapter 3

Spike gently lowered her down on the bed, not removing his lips from hers until breathing became an issue, then pressed kisses to her cheeks, her eyelids, and left a trail down her smooth neck.

Buffy arched her back, letting out a soft moan.

He pulled away. “Is this too much?”

She shook her head. “No, please don’t stop.”

That was the last thing he wanted to do, but knew where things would lead if this continued. “Buffy, are you sure you want this? There’s no going back.”

“I’ve never been surer of anything,” was her quiet reply.

Spike nodded, running his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t think this would happen, at least not now. I don’t have any condoms on me.”

Buffy took in a deep breath. “That’s okay; I’ve been on the pill for a while. My mom had me go on it when I started to get serious with Angel last year.”

Spike gave a low growl at that name. He remembered that bloody pansy, how he always had his grubby paws all over her. The git was never worthy enough to touch such an angel. Spike knew he was going to regret his next question, but needed to know the truth. “Did you two ever…?” he trailed off, not able to finish the sentence, but she knew what he was getting at.

“Once, he was actually my first, and it was still the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Angel acted like he really cared about me, but he only wanted to screw the blind girl, and then brag about it to his friends. He could have cared less about me afterward.”

He clenched his jaw, trying to keep his temper in check. “I knew there was a reason of why I hated that bloke. If you ask me, it’s his bloody loss. Has there been anyone since him?” Spike silently cursed himself, shaking his head. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“No,” she admitted softly, “it was hard for me to trust anyone else after that.”

“And you trust me?” he asked, needing to make sure once and for all that this was what she really wanted.

“With my life,” Buffy responded, no hesitation in her voice.

Spike felt choked up, he would do whatever he could to keep this girl’s trust. Once he finally had her, there was no way he was ever letting her go. He kissed her again, putting all of his emotions behind the gesture.

“Are you naked?”

He chuckled, quickly stripping out of his boxers, grabbing her hand and placing it over his hard cock. “I am now.”

Her eyes widened. “Um, will that even fit in me?”

Spike couldn’t resist the smile from spreading on his face; this girl was just too adorable for words. “Believe me, it’ll fit just fine. Last chance to back out, Buffy. If you don’t want to do this, we can stop at anytime; you just have to let me know.”

“I want you, no regrets.”

That was all he needed as Spike positioned himself over her body, once again kissing her mouth, slipping his tongue inside to be met with hers. He couldn’t remember ever being kissed so sweetly. Without removing his lips, he used his hand to fondle her breasts, feeling her nipples harden under his touch, and then reached down to caress her bare mound, sliding two fingers inside of her drenched center, surprised by how wet she was already. She gasped into his mouth, and Spike could tell that she was enjoying everything he was doing to her. “Let yourself go, baby, I’ll catch you.” She did just that, coming a second later, his fingers coated with her delicious juices, and that was confirmed when he sucked them clean. It was the best thing he ever had in his mouth, and Spike knew that he needed more. He lowered his head, thrusting his tongue deep inside of her pussy, drinking up her cream. The more he pushed, the more she came, and he licked up every drop, not letting any of it go to waste. “Fuck, you taste good.”

She panted after her second orgasm, trying to catch her breath. “I never knew it felt like that.”

Spike grinned, glad to know that oral sex wasn’t something she shared with the big oaf. “There’s plenty more where that came from.” He positioned his cock over her entrance, brushing the hair out of her face, and noticing that her eyes weren’t focused on him. It made him sad for a moment, but he quickly got over it, instead turning her head, so he could at least pretend that she saw him. He kissed her lips tenderly, and then slowly slid inside of her core, shutting his eyes at how tight she was. He could almost imagine that she was still a virgin. “Bloody hell,” Spike cursed, burying his head in her shoulder as he made his thrusts faster.

Buffy arched into him, running her hands down his naked back. She grabbed his head, meeting his lips with hers in a passionate embrace.

He felt that she was close, sending her over the edge, and then following right behind her. Spike pumped his member a few more times, before his body crashed on top of hers, his head resting on her chest. He could hear the fast beating of her heart, and knew it matched his, both now breathing heavily in the afterglow. After a moment of blissful silence, he moved off of her body as to not crush her, lying by her side and pulling her closer to him, kissing the top of her head. “You are so amazing.”

She smiled, nuzzling his chest. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He knew that this would change things, but couldn’t remember ever being happier. Spike doubted the social worker would see it that way, but chose not to care at the moment. The only thing that mattered was Buffy; everything else could wait for another day.


* * * * *


“There we go,” Spike said after he set Buffy on the kitchen counter. “You’re such a tiny thing.”

“Thanks, I think,” she commented.

He smiled. “What would you like for breakfast?”

She shrugged. “I’m okay with anything.” Her eyes lit up. “Oh, could we have chocolate chip pancakes? Mom used to make them every Sunday, I miss her cooking.”

Spike kissed the sudden frown off of her face, cupping her cheek. “I’m not as good as your mum, but I’ll see what I can do. She was a very special lady.”

Buffy agreed, feeling tears in her eyes. She lost her dad in a car accident a few months after Dawn was born, and losing her mother hurt even worse, they were so close, but Spike was quickly putting the pieces back together in her life. Buffy didn’t know where she would be without him.

While the pancakes were cooking on the stove, he came over to take her in his arms, wiping her tears away. “I’ll always be here, okay? You’ll never lose me. You and Dawn are my world now, nothing will ever change that.” He smiled when the little angel in the next room giggled at some cartoon she was watching on the telly, his heart nearly bursting at the sound. “I love you both very much. You know that?”

She nodded, reaching for his hand and bringing it to her mouth, placing a kiss on his knuckles. “We love you, too.”

He pecked her nose, moving back to the stove before the pancakes burned.


* * * * *


“I have to say, Mr. Pratt, this place looks ten times better than it did during my last visit. You’ve really done wonders here.”

He sighed in relief. “Thank you, Ms. Sharp, only the best for my girls.”

“I insist that you call me Pamela, we don’t have to be so formal here,” she stated, smiling at the young man, sensing something in his tone and watching as his gaze landed on the eldest Summers, while she played with her little sister in the living room. They looked so happy, and the expression on his face was unmistakable. “Could we talk in private for a moment?”

Spike nodded, following her into the kitchen, concerned about what she had to say.

“Feel free to tell me if I’m out of line, but I’m usually good at this sort of thing. Do I detect something going on between you and Buffy?”

His eyes widened, wondering how she could have picked up on that. “Please, don’t take them away from me,” was all he could manage to say. There was really no point in denying it.

Pamela shook her head, a smile forming on her face. “I assure you, that is not my intention. I see how happy they are here, and I would never want to deprive them of that, but you can be honest with me.”

He took in a deep breath, letting it out a second later. “Yes, I love her, and it’s completely reciprocated. I don’t want you to think I’ve been taking advantage, that’s the farthest thing from my mind. I know how this looks, but Buffy’s an adult now and when you think about it, eight years is really not that much of a difference.”

She held her hand up, amused at his ramblings. “Your secret is safe with me. I won’t be removing the girls from your care, but I would advise that you be careful in the future. Others might not be as generous as I am. As far as I’m concerned, they’re right where they belong.”

Spike was beyond relieved to hear that, shaking her hand. “Thank you so much, I was bloody terrified for a second there.”

“I can see how much they mean to you. Just continue to do what you’re doing, and we won’t have any problems. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

He walked her to the door, giving a wave as she left, and moving into the living room to watch his girls. Spike couldn’t contain his excitement, jumping on the couch and taking Buffy in his arms, giving her a smack on the mouth.

She laughed at his antics. “What was that for?”

“I didn’t think I needed a reason to kiss my girlfriend,” he replied.

Buffy blushed, loving the sound of that. “I take it everything went well.”

“That it did, pet, you’re officially here to stay.”

She smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. For the first time in her life, Buffy felt like she really belonged somewhere. There was no better feeling in the world.

The End