From the Personal Journal of Rupert Giles:



I have begun this journal in order to record the events of the life of my slayer, Buffy Summers. She has turned out to be an extraordinary slayer, but I fear what the Watchers Council would do with this information should they ever find out about the personal life of my slayer. This might explain the reason I have been unable to find any research materials relating to the unusual circumstance that we find ourselves a party too. I doubt any past Watcher would divulge to the council similar circumstances concerning their slayers.



At first I was hesitant to write these observations down, but recent developments have made it necessary to put to paper the unusual things that have happened in an effort to better understand them. This journal is separate from my official Watchers Diary; that volume is related to her slaying duties and only her slaying duties. This journal is more of a personal nature, but as Buffy’s personal life and her life as the slayer intertwine some of her slaying duties will be mentioned. Despite that, this journal shall be kept private and locked away.



It seems that my slayer has had not one but two Master Vampires fall in love with her. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that both vampires are of the same line? They differ greatly in terms of personality, motivation and, from my observations, the way they express those feelings. Angel, the first vampire to display affection for my slayer, was cursed with a soul and hid from society for one hundred years because of it. Beings calling themselves 'The Powers That Be' offered him a chance at redemption if he were to work on the side of the light. To that end they brought him into our lives, although I doubt they did so with the full knowledge of how much he would change our lives and not all for the better. The second vampire, Spike, claims no soul, nor neither need nor desire for redemption. His motives are apparently for love and love alone. Love for Joyce, Buffy’s mother, who showed him kindness and friendship when he needed it. Love for Dawn, Buffy’s younger sister, who became a friend to him and a younger sibling of sorts. And finally love for Buffy herself.



When Buffy first arrived in Sunnydale she wanted nothing more than to pretend that her calling was a thing of the past. Events soon made her realise that she couldn’t shut her eyes to the supernatural world and her calling, no matter how hard she might try to wish it away. Soon, Buffy had amassed a group of children who not only discovered the reality of vampires and demons but who stood by her side and fought with her. She also met a vampire, not unusual for a Slayer, but this vampire was supposedly different. She initially hid his existence from us, at first because she was unsure of him, or at least that is what I choose to believe, and later because of an attraction she felt for him. Eventually she brought him into our group and it was revealed that he was Angelus, or more recently Angel, a vicious vampire who had been cursed with a soul by gypsies over a century ago.



I was unsettled at the time by the development of a relationship between the two. My trepidation was not only due to the fact that he was a vampire, although that certainly gave me pause, but more because he seemed to skulk in the shadows. There were times when he had information that would have assisted Buffy with her duties but he was decidedly reticent in revealing all that he knew. My slayer has died once already, albeit briefly, because of inaction by myself and Angel, and was saved only through the actions of one of her human friends, Xander Harris. This is something that will haunt me for many years; could we have changed the outcome? Did Buffy have to die, thereby splitting the slayer line? I fear I will never know.



My worst fears regarding this relationship were realised during Buffy’s junior year. Angel’s soul was a curse, this we knew, but what none of us, Angel included, had known was the way in which the curse could be broken. I must add my utter contempt towards Angel for not researching the curse for himself over the last century. If he had, any number of deaths and terror would have been avoided. Buffy, being in love with Angel and he with her, had consummated their relationship. That provided Angel with a moment of perfect happiness and the thus his curse was broken. My Jenny, who had been sent here by her gypsy clan to keep an eye on Angel, was a causality of his reign of terror once the curse had been broken. She was in the process of translating the curse with the purpose of re-cursing him, when he snapped her neck and left her for me to find.



Eventually Willow was able to curse him again, but Buffy was still forced to send him to hell mere moments later. That battle also brings up the reason I decided to write this journal; Spike, William the Bloody, The Slayer of Slayers. I have spoken to Buffy in depth about the battle against Angelus since Spike’s reappearance in our lives and what I have learned has made me start to rethink my beliefs about demons. Spike came to town to cure his sire Drusilla, who was in turn sired by Angelus. Spike seemed to have a single-minded focus on curing his lover and after what I can only assume was an inordinate amount of research he eventually came upon the cure. His victory in curing her was short lived as a fight broke out during the ritual resulting in Spike being confined to a wheelchair. Within days of that event Angel lost his soul and returned to them a fully evil soulless vampire bent on mayhem and destruction.



I firmly believe after witnessing said events and speaking to Spike after the fact, it was what transpired during Angelus' return to Drusilla and Spike that precipitated Spike’s later actions. Angelus reclaimed his position as head of the clan and used those rights to humiliate Spike and take his sire from him. Drusilla and Spike had been together for over a century with Spike in love with her that entire time, acting as both lover and care giver. That Angelus could return and take her from him angered Spike and due to his injuries, he had no recourse to stop Angelus. His position did however allow him to be able to obtain information that we desperately needed to stop Angelus. Spike was privy to Angelus’ plans and when he found out that Angelus was going to release hell on earth Spike chose to act. He turned against his family and allied himself with Buffy to stop Angelus. The two came up with a plan and in the process Spike saved my life. He left town with his sire and was to never darken our door again.

Buffy was heart broken after the fight with Angelus. I would find out later that Willow’s spell to re-ensoul Angel had worked at the last moment, but by then it was too late as the portal to hell had been opened. Buffy had been forced to send a souled Angel to hell in order to close the portal. Afterwards, she immediately fled Sunnydale in order to grieve. It is my belief that it was a combination of multiple events that led Buffy to her decision to leave. The principle of the high school expelled her that very night just before her fight with Angelus. Kendra, the slayer who had been called after Buffy’s brief death at the hands of the Master the year before, had been murdered in the school protecting myself and the other children. Joyce Summers, upon finding out exactly who and what Buffy was, had kicked her daughter out of the house in a misguided bout of fear and ignorance. Finally, sending the man (vampire) that she loved to hell with his soul intact had been the final straw for her. She left needing time to come to terms with all that had happened.



Buffy returned to us in time to begin the new school year. Her mother, having made a kind of peace with her daughter's calling, forced the school to reinstate Buffy as a student. Shortly afterwards Angel was returned from hell, but Buffy kept this knowledge hidden from us for quite some time. I will admit to being rather angry and upset when I found out, but as I look back on those events as I write this journal I can understand her motives, even though I still disagree with them. She was trying to spare us pain, as seeing Angel was a sharp reminder of Jenny’s death for me. And although I do not in any way hold Buffy responsible for her death, knowing Buffy as well as I do I imagine that she feels the weight of that death deeply. I doubt that I can convince her that she bears no responsibility for Jenny’s demise, that the blame belongs firmly to Angelus and, in no small way, to Jenny herself. She withheld her true purpose as well as valuable knowledge from us until it was too late. I also believe that Buffy hid his return from the other children because of the terror he inflicted upon them and also Xander’s blatant dislike of the souled vampire.



During Buffy's senior year Spike returned to Sunnydale. When I eventually learned about what actually transpired during his return visit, I began to question my long held beliefs concerning the nature of demons. Apparently Drusilla had never forgiven Spike for helping Buffy during her fight against Angelus. In conversations I later had with Spike he informed me that he had come to the Hellmouth with the purpose of procuring a magical means of forcing Drusilla to love him once more.



I have asked him why he travelled all the way to Sunnydale from Brazil when there were certainly competent spell casters in that area of the world. The answer he provided has made me more accepting of the relationship he and my slayer currently have. He told me that he had no idea why he returned to Sunnydale for the spell. He claimed that he felt something driving him to return here. Once he arrived he quickly abandoned his plan to be-spell his sire and decided instead to fight Buffy to the death. His thoughts at the time, as he has recently explained to me, were that either he would kill Buffy and therefore Drusilla would be inclined to take him back, or Buffy would kill him and end his loneliness by granting him death. Needless to say neither plan worked for him, as he never truly implemented either. Instead he left Willow unharmed, which is shocking in and of itself, and proceeded to look for Buffy. When he couldn’t locate her he moved his search to Buffy's home, but did not find the Summers woman he was looking. I firmly believe that the kindness and lack of fear shown by Joyce during the time Spike spent with her had a profound effect on him. His presence also had a profound effect on my slayer. The behaviour exhibited by both Spike and Angel that night served to provide Buffy with a different view of Angel, one I am certain she had previously been either unaware of or willfully ignoring.



From what both Joyce and Dawn have told me, Spike was a perfect gentleman while in the house alone with the two of them. They discussed his heartbreak and how he has let his romantic life rule his world. Joyce encouraged Spike to try to find his own path in life, one that pleases him and not to live for the whims of others. Unbeknownst to all, Spike and Joyce, and later Spike and Dawn, began corresponding with each other. I have read the letters the three exchanged and I must say it seems that these two women had a profound effect on Spike. Just knowing that there were people who cared for him appears to have been enough for a master vampire with no soul to change his ways and stop killing humans.



The relationship between Buffy and Angel after the confrontation at her home has changed on a fundamental level. She told me that Angel seemed to have no respect for her, either as a woman or as a slayer. She wondered if he had always felt that way and she was just too enamoured to notice. Their time together after that was infrequent at best, only seeing one another during research with the group. Angel left Sunnydale immediately after graduation, having helped us defeat the Mayor before his plans to ascend into a pure demon could come to fruition. Buffy's entire senior class participated in the battle. The causalities were small and we all mourned the losses of those brave souls. The high school was lost in the resulting explosion, which means that I am currently unemployed.



Spike has since told me of an event that shook him to the core. His story was that one day, after posting a letter to Joyce and Dawn, he went to grab a woman outside the post office to feed. As she screamed, Spike said an image of Joyce’s face flashed before him and he couldn’t bring himself to feed off of the woman. Since that time he has confined himself to a diet of pig’s blood and has controlled himself by taking his violent urges out on every harmful demon that he ran across.



After a period of time, Spike returned to Sunnydale to live here permanently. He had found a reference to the Treasure of Amara that, if legend is to be believed, contains a gem of such power that it would render any vampires who wore it invulnerable. His research indicated that the treasure was located in somewhere beneath Sunnydale. Before he could obtain the treasure he was captured by a military group operating out of the college here in Sunnydale. The stories of the horrors that we heard about that went on in that place concerned us all deeply. When we were shown photographic evidence of the military's barbaric methods we were horrified, none more so than Joyce and Dawn as it was brought to light that Spike had indeed been captured by this group. When they attempted to kill Buffy I knew then that we had to act. A phone call to the Watchers Council put the military operation out of business. We were asked to go in and deal with what demons were still being held in the facilities. That is where we found a badly beaten Spike. Cataloguing his injuries would take an inordinate amount of time. Suffice it to say that he had been grievously wounded and experimented on. We subsequently learned that he had been implanted with a microchip that prevents him from harming humans. At this point in time I was still leery of his change of heart and was glad of the chip even if I abhorred how it came about.

Once Spike had healed sufficiently he set about finding the treasure. I was shocked and chagrined when Spike handed me the ring that would make him invincible for safe keeping. In a later conversation between Spike, Joyce and myself Spike explained that he knew I didn’t trust him completely yet. So he was giving me the ring to hold until such time as I felt he had earned my trust as a good faith gesture. I admit I did question his motives for quite a while assuming that this was just a way for us to lower our defences around the vampire. But Joyce and Dawn were very vocal in their protests that Spike was not trying to lull us into a false sense complacency before killing us all.



After having Joyce auction the rest of the treasure, Spike purchased a house and placed it under the name of my slayer. I was unaware that demons were able to purchase housing and Spike explained to me that there was an entire network set up for demons in Sunnydale. I can only explain its existence by thinking that the former Mayor, himself a demon, created this network when he founded the town over 100 years ago.



Spike explained to me that, had he left the deed under his name any manner of vampire could enter it unimpeded. By placing the deed in Buffy’s name however, the domicile was protected and could be used as a safe house should the unfortunate need to do so arise. He has also opened his home to our meetings and to Buffy’s younger sister and mother. Dawn can be frequently found at Spike’s house after school doing her homework and playing with her cat that a demon named Clem gave her. Clem had been introduced to Joyce and Dawn by Spike when he was out of town and writing letters to the two of them, often acting as a courier service of sorts.



As time went by Spike proved him self more than proficient at assisting Buffy with her patrols, often giving her a night off and performing the task himself. As the months went by Buffy and Spike started to become friends and I must admit that I was grateful for the assistance Spike provided. Especially as Buffy began her sophomore year of college. Buffy and Spike began seeing one another in a more non-platonic light during her freshman year of college. At first I was against the relationship, having suffered through Angel and the horrors that befell us. But as I have learned my slayer thinks for her self, thus I knew telling her that I didn’t approve would make no difference. As I have come to see Spike as something other than a soulless monster, I can now see that he and Angel are completely different. Spike patrols every night, either with Buffy or without her. He comes to us immediately when he hears of any rumours in the demon world that we should be concerned with. And contrary to Angel, Spike has made a concerted effort to befriend the people Buffy holds dear. During this year alone we have had many battles and Spike has been there for all of them, frequently putting himself in harms way for one or more of us. On Thanksgiving he placed himself in front of Dawn to protect her from a volley of arrows that were being shot at us during a siege by vengeance spirits. He had risked his life for a teenage girl with no thought to his own safety.



Angel was present that day after one of his co-workers had received a vision of Buffy in danger and in direct contrast to Spike’s actions Angel hid in the shadows and insisted that none of us reveal his presence to Buffy. The children informed me that he did aid us in the fight against the spirits during the siege before he quickly left to return to LA. I believe this incident was the final straw in the relationship between Angel and Buffy.



This seemed to be a turning point for Buffy and Spike as well. The stark contrast between the two vampires in their treatment of Buffy could not have been more clearly defined. I firmly believe that Buffy saw Angel’s actions as again treating her like a child with no mind or thought for herself. Since things turned out the way they have I can say my earlier reticence regarding Buffy and Spike was ill placed.



Shortly after Thanksgiving, the young Mr. Osborne left town in an attempt to control the werewolf inside of him. Willow was devastated by his departure and in her grief she placed a “My Will Be Done” spell upon herself unintentionally. She managed to make me blind, turned Xander into a demon magnet (as most of his attempts at romance tend to turn out to be with women who are demons) and she also willed Buffy and Spike to become engaged. I must admit that at the time I was horrified, but looking back on it now I can see the beginnings of the relationship they have now. Spike was attentive and caring towards her but in no way made her feel helpless. He seems to be able to reach both sides of her, the girl and the slayer, and he truly seems to love both. This is something I think that Angel was never able to feel towards Buffy. This event combined with the incident at Thanksgiving moved Buffy and Spike towards a relationship not without some starts and stops. I believe that Buffy was worried what we might say if she became involved with another vampire and it was this worry that made her say the things she did when the spell was broken. Spike’s reaction to the hurtful words she levied against him made me begin to understand that demons, or at least some rare individuals, might be able to have honest emotions.



Spike came to my assistance later that year. Ethan Rayne showed back up in town and against my better judgement I went out for drinks with him. Afterwards I awoke to find myself changed into a Fyarl demon. With Spike’s help we were able to get things changed back to normal. Spike ran Ethan out of town and told him to never to return.



Spike would later once again prove that he has Buffy’s best interest in mind. A former classmate of the children used a spell to make himself into a kind of superstar. Every one, myself included, differed to Jonathon. Buffy kept trying to tell us that there was something wrong with the situation but we all refused to listen. The only one that believed her was Spike, he encouraged her to listen to her gut instincts, to use his own words, and in the end Buffy was able to break the hold the spell had created. I found myself quite chagrined afterwards and even worse I felt the need to apologize to Buffy and to my mortification Spike.





It was during Buffy’s sophomore year of college that events started to spiral out of control in Sunnydale. Joyce became ill with what we later learned was a brain tumour. Buffy was beside herself with worry, to the point that she believed that there was a magical attack behind her mother's failing health. She proceeded to convince Willow to provide her with a spell to find out what was causing her mother’s illness. The spell revealed something none of us were prepared for. It seems that Dawn is not really Buffy’s younger sister. She was placed here only a few months ago by a group of monks sworn to protect the Key, a mystical object able to unlock any portal. Dawn is that key, given human life and sent to the slayer for protection. We have since discovered that all of our memories have been changed to include Dawn in our lives.

I go over my memories to attempt to discern if I ever knew or noticed anything off about Dawn during our acquaintance. I must admit that I find no lapses that should have given me any inkling as to her not being genuine. It has made me wonder though; Angel always seemed uncomfortable around the younger Summers’ girl. He never put much effort into interacting with her, even going out of his way to avoid being alone with the girl. Then again, he never tried particularly hard to interact with any of us. Spike, however, took to the girl immediately without any hesitation. Recent discoveries have made the reason quite clear to me as to why both vampires reacted this way in regards to Dawn. I will discuss those discoveries later and in detail but I am doing all that I can to write this in as precise a manner as possible.



At first Buffy only shared her discovery about Dawn's true origins with myself and Spike. I was leery about telling Spike simply because at the time I still questioned his motives. Looking back with the knowledge I now possess, all I can say is that I was purposely blind to what was right in front of my eyes.



As Joyce’s illness progressed we discovered that she could also tell that there was something different about Dawn. It was then that Glory came looking for her key. Buffy's first instinct was to keep the knowledge of who the Key was safeguarded from the others. Her need to protect everyone that she loves was the deciding factor in her decision, but Spike was able to make her see that asking them to risk their lives without knowing exactly who or what they were risking them for was doing them a grave disservice. But Buffy was unmovable on one issue, flatly refusing to tell Dawn and forbidding Spike and I from telling her ourselves.



Secrets are hard to keep at the best of times so it came as no surprise that shortly thereafter the issue of telling Dawn of her origins as we knew them became moot. Glory paid a visit to the Summers’ home demanding her key. Buffy and Spike arrived before Glory could hurt anyone in the house but afterwards Spike finally convinced Buffy to let Dawn know what we had been keeping from her. The poor child seemed very distraught at first, and it was to my extreme surprise at the time that Spike of all people was the one who was able to reach her. As I listened unobtrusively to their conversation I could hear the caring and love Spike has for Dawn. He couldn’t answer her questions about where she came from and why she was here or even if she was good or evil, but I think he was able to allay some of her fears. I can see that Dawn, having had such a blow to her sense of family and security, was concerned about how the others would react to her now. Spike let her know that she would always have him on her side and I believe it relieved her greatly to know that.



The day came when we found out what was causing Joyce’s illness. When the doctors informed us that she had a brain tumour Buffy and Dawn were devastated by the news. I later found Spike in an empty room of the hospital crying. I never really understood until that moment just how capable he truly was of caring for another person.



Joyce was released from the hospital to await her surgery date in the comfort of her own home. It was then that we discovered another effect of Glory being in Sunnydale. She sustains herself by feeding upon the brainpower of her victims, literally sucking it from their brains. This causes those unfortunate souls to lose touch with reality; it seems that this condition also allows them see what Dawn really is. We later learned that Glory’s human host contacted a Quellor Demon in an attempt to rein in the number of disturbed people Glory has created.



That demon attacked Joyce in her home and Buffy and Spike managed to kill it. During that incident Spike had given Dawn a weapon and had set her to guard her mother. After the demon had been killed Buffy was quite upset with Spike for his decision to place Dawn in harm's way. While I can understand Buffy’s need to keep Dawn safe and out of the fighting I can, and it pains me to admit this, also see and even agree with Spike’s point. He made a valid argument, that even if Dawn is not involved with slaying she should be taught self defence at the very least.



I can honestly say that at the time I did not know what prompted Spike to take his next action, but I cannot dispute the results. Joyce had her surgery and the doctors told us that it was a success. For reasons known only to Spike, he arranged for Joyce to see a local healer immediately after her discharge from the hospital. After their visit Buffy informed me that the healer discovered that Joyce had developed an aneurysm at the site of the operation. The healer was able to repair it and Joyce should live a long and healthy life.



Conversations I had following his intervention have revealed that Spike believed that he heard something amiss with the flow of Joyce's blood. I can only take his word for it; I assume vampires are able to discern blood flowing through their victims' veins, but I question the voracity of a vampire being able to pinpoint something like an aneurysm and I have developed my own theory regarding his actions. In discussions with Buffy she relayed to me Spike’s deepest secret.



Whilst he was human his mother was dying of tuberculosis. After he was turned he tried to sire her in order to cure her of her illness. The siring of his mother did not end the way he had hoped. Unlike Spike, she had retained none of her humanity and was no longer the woman he remembered. He assumed that his mother would rise again as he had, the same loving caring individual he had been in life, albeit with a more than a touch of darkness. He believed that his loving mother would survive the transformation. Disgusted and heartbroken by the creature she became, Spike was forced to stake his mother soon after he turned her. This failure is what I believe prompted him into taking Joyce to the healer. He views Joyce not only as a friend but as a mother figure and I don’t believe he would have recovered if she had died. It all adds to the picture of the very unique vampire Spike is.



My discrete inquiries, at least I thought them discrete, regarding Glory have brought the Watchers Council to our door. They have informed us that Glory is actually Glorificus a Hell-God. During one of the meetings with the Council, Spike interrupted with news that the intern who had helped care for Joyce while she was in the hospital was working with Glory in some fashion. The council was to say the least not pleased that Spike was a part of our group and we can only be thankful they never learned the full extent of his involvement with Buffy. I have no idea what action they might have taken should that fact have been learned. They immediately started to make demands in exchange for the information that they had on Glory. I am pleased to say that Buffy turned the tables on them and they left after giving us all they knew. She is, to quote Spike, beautiful when she gets riled up and I must say he is right.



We also have yet another group looking for the key. The Knights of Byzantium, an ancient order, who’s sole mission is to destroy the key to keep Glory from obtaining it.

Shortly after the council left, Spike was captured by Glory’s minions. Xander and I were immediately concerned, not with his welfare but whether with the likelihood that he would tell Glory what she wanted to know. Buffy, and Dawn and Joyce were adamant in their defence of Spike. After viewing the aftermath of the torture that he endured to keep Dawn's secret, I can honestly say he has earned my trust. To that end I returned the Gem of Amara to him. A few days later, after Spike had recovered enough to move freely, he came to us with charmed necklaces.



While I was only slightly leery of wearing the charm, Xander outright refused to wear it. The story that Spike told us as he was handing out the charms was hard to fathom. No matter how many times he told us, it was hard to believe that Ben, an intern at the Sunnydale Hospital, and Glory, a goddess of a hell dimension, had any dealings with each other. Looking back, I believe my reticence to trust Spike on the issue of Ben being Glory was an effect of the glamour that kept us from realising the connection in the first place, rather than my own doubts about his motives.



It wasn’t until a few of us ran across Ben and saw him change into Glory were we able to understand what Spike had been telling us for days. Ben was Glory’s human host. After convincing Xander to wear the amulet he still insisted it could all be a trick perpetrated by Spike. Xander and Spike will never be the best of friends, I’m afraid. But the two do show a grudging willingness to put most of their animosity behind them when the situation warrants it. I fear that Xander will never be able to see beyond his experiences with Angel/Angelus and is therefore reticent to give Spike an honest assessment. I can only hope that this changes, as it makes the rest of us slightly uncomfortable, and it is more Xander’s doing than Spike's.



It took some time to go through the information the council left us with. Glory needed Dawn to perform a ritual that would open the gateways between dimensions. Once we discovered what the ritual entailed and that Glory had a time frame to work with ideas came from everyone. Spike and, surprisingly, Joyce were of the opinion that killing Ben was the solution to the problem. I tried to argue that Ben was an innocent and therefore we couldn’t kill him. Spike countered with the information that Ben was fully aware of what Glory was doing. Ben had apparently made an appearance while Glory had Spike held captive. Ben had done nothing to help the situation, instead telling Spike that he couldn’t help him and that Spike should simply give Glory what she was looking for. He obviously knew that Glory was creating the brain damaged people in town but his only action was to call a demon that would kill them.



Joyce’s argument was that both Glory and Ben were trying to kill her children, Ben by his inaction and Glory by her actions. Joyce admitted that if it had been just a simple human threatening her children she would be of the opinion that the police should be called. Since this was supernatural in nature, however, human laws would be of no help. She couldn’t see a way to stop Glory without Ben suffering due to the fact that the pair shared the same body.



I will admit here and nowhere else that in theory I agree with both of them. Ben is not a complete innocent; he could have informed any of us when he found out we were protecting the key and instead he chose not to do so. He is responsible for the deaths of many of the damaged people, whose injured state was caused by Glory, when he brought the Quellor to Sunnydale. Joyce is also correct in her thinking that whatever we decide, Ben cannot be removed from Glory and therefore will suffer the same fate as she does. But the taking of a human life is a serious matter not to be entertained lightly. I feel we must exhaust all other options before we can even consider such a drastic step.



A compromise was reached; we performed a cloaking spell on the entire group and left a few days before Glory's ritual was to be performed. We headed to LA in the hopes that Glory and the Knights would be unable to find us. We were uncertain as to the extent that Ben might participate with Glory in furthering her ends so instead of checking into a hotel that he could possibly trace, we went to Angel’s hotel. Neither Buffy nor Spike were overly pleased with this option, but it was the best we could do at the time.



We learned, while in LA, from our research that if the time of the ritual passed without Glory obtaining the key she would soon after cease to be, unfortunately taking Ben with her. In my mind, it was the best outcome. Glory would be stopped and Ben, while partially innocent, would be taken care of by providence and not our hand.



A few days later Angel and his group returned from another dimension. To say that he was upset by seeing Buffy and Spike in a romantic embrace would be putting it mildly. He proceeded to attack Spike but the fight was short-lived with Spike emerging as the victor. Buffy then proceeded to take Angel to task for attacking Spike in the first place. Again the differences between the two vampires became glaringly obvious. Angel tried to manipulate Buffy by telling her that he loved her and that there existed a prophecy in which he would become human upon its fulfilment, so that he and Buffy could, at some unknown date in the future, be together. It was at that point that Cordelia, who had been working with Angel for some time now, mentioned that if Angel had really felt that way he would have gone to Buffy when he had been turned into a human the year before. This news was shocking to those of us from Sunnydale.



The entire story came out and apparently, shortly after the Thanksgiving when he had come to town Angel had gotten injured in a fight with a demon and their blood mixed. The result was that Angel was turned human. After a subsequent battle with the demon, in which Angel was almost killed. Angel had gone to the Oracles, who are the conduits for the Powers That Be. He asked that he be made back into a vampire and to be better able to carry on the good fight.



Buffy seemed unconcerned by this news. I believe she has finally gotten over her feelings for the souled vampire. I must admit that Spike is a much better choice. Buffy told Angel in no uncertain terms that she would not allow him to attack Spike again. Buffy told the Los Angeles group everything that was happening in Sunnydale and that we only needed to stay a few more days until the time of the ritual had passed. Angel seemed to be oddly interested in Ben/Glory, and three days later I had my answer as to why. I have my theories as to why he did it and not all are very flattering, but I am quite certain that Angel travelled to Sunnydale and killed Ben.



In my less charitable moments I believe that Angel took the action he did hoping Spike would be blamed and thereby breaking Spike and Buffy apart, forcing her into possibly staking Spike and thus removing Spike from Buffy’s life. He made it quite clear that he thought that running away from the threat of Glory was unbecoming of Buffy as the slayer and that she was in some way shirking her duties. He blamed Spike for leading Buffy astray and in my opinion was looking for a way to smear Spike in Buffy’s eyes.



My other theory is that Angel hoped that Buffy would see it as him protecting her and this would somehow work in his favour. If either of these theories are correct it just proves how little he actually knows Buffy. She neither needs nor wants protection and Spike knows this where Angel does not. Spike has every confidence that Buffy could and would defeat Glory, but it was a deep concern for the collateral damage that would occur in a battle against her that was behind his vote to leave Sunnydale.

It was a group decision to leave; we had far too many enemies chasing us and far too many innocents to protect. I seriously doubt any of us, aside from Spike, could withstand the tortures Glory inflicted upon him and not have divulged the identity of the key.



While I was pondering these things I noticed that Dawn was watching me with a look of concern on her face and immediately I knew what she was thinking. Once we arrived back in Sunnydale, I assured her that I in no way thought that Spike had been the one behind Ben's death. The look of relief on her face opened my eyes to just how much Spike had come to mean to the child. In retrospect I understand completely her sentiments.



Things settled down over the summer, as they are wont to do. Buffy officially moved in with Spike and she continues to go to college. I have found myself spending time with Joyce. It started out as simply the only two real adults spending time away from the younger members of the group. As time went on however, I found Joyce to be a wonderful woman and our time together became romantic in nature. Spike took me aside and informed me that if I ever hurt Joyce he would torture me so badly that it would make my time spent with Angelus look like the work of an amateur. I took the speech in the manner it was intended and wasn’t offended in the least.



We next found ourselves under assault, not by a 'big bad', to quote the children, but by three young men. One of them was Jonathon, the boy who had cast a spell two years ago to make himself into a superstar. Buffy and Spike prevented them from committing a robbery at the museum. This did not sit well with their leader, a man named Warren Mears. He has since made it his personal mission to exact revenge on Buffy and Spike.



The first real attempt at revenge could have had disastrous results. Despite the Initiative being long driven out of Sunnydale, the demons in town remember them. It was no secret that Spike had been inhibited by the group and eventually Warren found out about the chip. Due to Willow’s adept nature with a computer we learned that Warren was something of a computer genius himself. How he managed to do what he did is a mystery but somehow he made a device that gave him control over Spike’s chip. Thankfully, either because of the same problems the Initiative had or Spike’s contrary nature, the control was very limited. He was unable to force Spike to take any human lives, despite his many attempts. We quickly realized that something had to be done to remove this possibility from ever happening again. Willow was able to obtain the same information that Warren had through some computer hacking. Armed with the Initiative's files, we were able to have Spike’s chip removed successfully.



Afterwards, Warren set a demon on Buffy that altered her mental state. She was forced into a nightmare world where she had to watch over and over again as all of us were murdered while she was helpless to stop it. In a rare showing, Spike and Xander joined forces with a common goal and captured the demon so that an antidote could be crafted to combat the creature's effects on Buffy.



It was during this time we learned from Wesley that Angel had a son. Apparently Wolfram & Hart had somehow resurrected Darla and the two of them had created a child. Wesley had called us because there was a prophecy that he had translated saying that Angel would kill his own son. Wesley begged us for sanctuary and we granted it. Once Wesley had arrived it seemed safest for he and Connor to stay at my house. Everyone quickly became enamoured with the boy, especially Spike and Buffy. We originally discussed having him stay with Buffy and Spike, as they are the strongest in our group, but in retrospect I can only be thankful we decided against it.



Warren’s final act was made in desperation. I can only be thankful that I had given the Gem of Amara to Spike when I had. Warren, apparently frustrated in his failed attempts to neutralize Buffy, sought a more permanent solution. He came to her house in an attempt to kill her with a gun. Upon finding that she was not at her home, he attempted to kill Dawn by firing wildly at the house. Spike, hearing the shots, ran outside into the bright light of the sun and subdued the would be assassin, taking numerous rounds aimed straight for Dawn in the process.



After rendering Warren unconscious the police were called and Warren was arrested. We were able to keep Spike’s name out of the reports and Warren was convicted of attempted murder. Jonathon and the other boy left town, having not been involved with Warren’s final vendetta against Buffy.



This event caused all of us to think honestly about our lives. Numerous changes occurred as a result. I asked Joyce to marry me and she has said yes. Xander also proposed to Anya and they decided to get married in Vegas, as a wedding with her demon friends and Xander’s family would be quite difficult to plan. Willow, after struggling with her magic and the correct uses thereof, decided to travel England to study with a coven. Tara made the decision to go with her.



Wesley discovered that the manuscript depicting the threat of Angel towards Connor was manufactured by Wolfram & Hart. He and the child returned to Los Angeles after Angel was able to deal with an old enemy from his past. It was that figure who had wanted to harm Connor as revenge against Angel.



The biggest change led to the biggest discovery. Spike and Buffy claimed each other. I chuckle when thinking about it; if this had happened years ago I would have done everything and anything in my power to break them apart. At this point in our lives it seemed like the most natural progression.



A few weeks after the claiming Spike, presented Buffy with an engagement ring. Plans were made and a date was set; it wasn’t until the invitations went out that any trouble befell us. As soon as Angel received his invitation he came to Sunnydale. He challenged the claim and a brutal battle was fought between Spike and Angel. To prevent Buffy from interceding I explained to her that Angel did have the right to challenge the claim as head of the line. I also explained that if Spike didn’t accept the challenge he would forfeit his rights as her mate or if he lost the fight Angel would take over the claim.

Once Spike had won, Angel was forced to concede defeat. Almost immediately Whistler, a messenger from the Powers That Be, appeared and the news that he shared was stunning. Now that Buffy and Spike had mated, and the only threat to that mating had been defeated, Whistler was allowed to share the fact that the Powers were quite happy with the pairing. Upon hearing this Angel immediately left town.

Once Angel had gone, Whistler shared some other information with us. The Powers claim that Dawn was not created solely from Buffy but that she was also made from Spike as well. They are, in essence, Dawn's parents. Upon reflection it becomes clear, as Dawn has Spike’s eyes and she can seemingly call upon his snarky attitude at will. Spike has always displayed an unusual affinity with her and at times is the only one who can reach her. We knew that Dawn had been crafted from Buffy and the way that Buffy loves her has always seemed to me to have been more the kind of love a mother has for a daughter. But knowing that the Powers made Spike her father was a shock to most of us. It does however make sense, if you take the monks' point of view into consideration, as Spike and Buffy are the strongest of our group and the most capable of defending her.

The final two pieces of news left us speechless. We knew that Spike's existence as a vampire makes him mostly immortal and Buffy as a human isn’t. We were informed that both will live long lives and be rewarded in the afterlife. There was however a caveat to this information. Both must remain warriors for the side of the light. While he wasn’t allowed to provide much information he implied that the pair would face hardships and trials during their life and the temptation to stray from the good fight would be great at times. I have the utmost faith in Buffy’s willingness to fight for the side of good. And remarkably I have faith in Spike’s love for her keeping him on the straight and narrow. We all face challenges in our lives such as we have already endured but I believe that they will face these challenges much the same way they have and be victorious.

Whistler informed us that the supernatural healing that is part and parcel of being a slayer slows the ageing down considerably as a slayer reaches adulthood, a useful piece of information for future slayers as well. That is not to say that she is impervious to injury or even death. Both of them can perish but with Whistler’s news we all hope that it will happen far in the future.

I know the problem of Buffy ageing was a great concern, not only to Buffy but to Spike as well. Spike told me that he found the thought of living after Buffy was gone too terrible a thought to endure. Buffy was concerned about ageing when Spike would not and that possibly in the future he might stop loving her as she grew older. I know that Spike was also concerned that he would not end up in the same place as Buffy after death. Now that that concern has been handled, the two have a much brighter outlook on the future.

Whistler’s last announcement was met with shouts of joy and a look of relief on Spike’s face. Whistler informed us that by taking a potion that he then provided Buffy and Spike, the couple could have children. They would be limited to only four doses with a short window of effectiveness, but the children would be of their own flesh and blood. I know Spike was considering other options in an attempt for them to have a baby; he despaired of giving Buffy children of their own but was determined that if Buffy wanted children she would have them. He had been looking into adoption and sperm donors. Buffy, having found out, was adamant that if she could not have children with Spike then she didn’t want any children at all. Whistler’s news helped heal the last dark spot in the couple’s lives that was created inadvertently by the arrival of Connor into our lives and the attachment both Spike and Buffy felt towards the child.

Joyce and I married a few moths after Whistler’s visit. Dawn splits her time equally between our house and Buffy and Spike’s home. Xander and Anya are doing well and Xander is in now charge of the construction of the new high school. We were thankfully able to petition the town to build it on a new site and not over the Hellmouth. Anya is doing an admirable job running the day to day business of the Magic Box. The two are considering purchasing a house in the near future as both want children. Willow and Tara held a lovely commitment ceremony and are currently living together in the dorms while they finish college.

Buffy is continuing her education also. She is considering becoming a high school guidance counsellor. Spike took it upon himself to start his own business; he opened a self defence school. So far his business has been successful. Both he and I insisted that Joyce and Dawn take classes despite their protests.

All in all life is going well for all of us. Dawn has been complaining that between Buffy, Spike, Joyce and I she will never be allowed to date. I admit that after the incident at Halloween we all became more vigilant regarding her whereabouts. Dawn and her friend Janice had crept out without permission to go out on dates and, unbeknownst to them, their dates were vampires. Once we found out about their ruse we raced to where we thought they might be and Dawn was forced to dust her date as he went for her throat.

This time Spike was not the one who was able to talk to Dawn. He was enraged at the events of the night and Buffy made the decision to talk to Dawn herself. Life gradually went back to a normal routine after that.

But as fate would have it our lives were to be disrupted once again. This time the disruption came in the guise of a high school principle. Robin Wood seemed like an average high school principle, but we shortly learned that he was anything but average. One night while Spike and I were patrolling we ran across the principle in a cemetery. Spike and I were fighting a group of vampires that tried to set themselves up here in town. They were apparently unaware of the fact that a slayer lived here. During the fight Robin joined in and after the remaining vampires were dusted he attacked Spike. Spike fended him off and Robin tried to again stake Spike.

It was at that point I interceded. I was able to convince Robin to talk with me and tell me why he had targeted Spike specifically. His tale was a sad one; Robin was the son of a slayer, a slayer that Spike had killed in 1977. He had spent most of his adult life finding out who had killed his mother and he was here for revenge. It took many conversations with Robin by all of us before we were able to convince him that Spike had changed.

He eventually agreed that he would no longer try to exact revenge upon Spike but he stated he couldn’t live in the same town with his mother’s killer and tendered his resignation at the high school.

End of Volume 1