Disclaimer: So here’s how it goes. I went up to my friend Joss Whendon the other day, when they were secretly shooting another show, and asked him if I could borrow James Marsters so I could play with him for a little while and he said I will do no such thing. So I left and came back the next day and asked him again if I could have James Martsers to do anything I like with, and he said no. So when I left and came back the next day and asked him the same question again he said, “The only way I’ll let you have James Marsters, ESPICALLY JAMES MARSTERS is if we start world war 3. So I left and came back the next day, this time with a paper in my hand. When I reached where Joss was with the whole cast they were eating their lunch wondering why I’ve been coming by so much, when I walked straight over to Joss and handed them the paper that I had been holding in my hands. “What’s this?” He asked. “Oh nothing much” I said, “Just sign on the dotted line. It simply states that you have agreed to start world war 3 in exchange for James Marsters.” He finally gave up and told James to get up and take the rest of the week off and he’d give him a 15 million dollar raise. So naturally James got up and left, not one to pass up such an opportunity. So we had the best week of our lives, but then I had to give him back. The day after James returned to work I showed up to talk to Joss once again and the cast was their eating lunches. “See joss,” I said to him, “It wasn’t that bad giving me what I wanted now was it?” I laughed a he rolled his eyes at me. “Oh and by the way,” I said, just as I was about to leave the room and head back to my car, “I’ll be back with plans for world war 3 tomorrow.” “SOME ONE ESCORT THAT WOMAN FROM THE BUILDING AND MAKE SURE SHE NEVER COMES BACK!!!!!!” (P.S. I also don’t own any of the other Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series Characters.)

A/N We’re going to pretend that Spike never met Harmony, nor did he ever come back to get the Gem of Amara. So the only time we saw Spike besides in season two, was in “Lover’s Walk” and “The Initative.” Also, THIS IS NOT A SPILLOW STORY!! Or whatever they call Spike and Willow stories. I wouldn’t know cause I don’t read them. The second chapter will explain more, and I’m already working on it but with my other two stories, it’s making it kinda hard to keep up with everything and stay on top of real life a well. Once again keep in mind that, even though this chapter is going to make it look like it, IT IS NOT A SPILLOW STORY!!!!!!!!!!!
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‘Oh goddess,’ Willow thought, ‘how can all this be happening from one little spell gone wrong?’

Willow looked around at all the damage she had managed to create in just one day, as she tried to figure out what was happening in her head.

‘Xander and Anya,’ she thought as her eyes came to rest on them first, ‘Are trying not to get killed, Spike and Buffy are kissing, there are all these demons…. wait a minute’ she swung her head around to do a double take at the blond couple wrapped up in a heated make out session on the ground, ‘Why are Buffy and Spike kissing? Oh yeah, “Then she should just marry him,” ok, remember not to say that any more!!!’

Willow did one more take around the room with disgusted eyes at what she had done, ‘I need to stop this before something really bad happens. No, wait…. something really bad has happened. I need to stop this before anything worse happens.’

‘Work brain, work…’ And as if there was a light bulb that just clicked on inside her head, her face lit up. ‘There’s a spell that can change everything back to the way it was before my implosive decision to ruin everybody else’s life. Now if only I could remember all of it and not turn this in a circus anymore then I already have, cause last thing we need is for this to get even worse.’

Willow looked back to where Buffy and Spike were still locked together in a heated embrace. ‘Wait, no,’ she thought, ‘I don’t believe that it can get any worse then THAT image.’ As Willow continued to watch them she realized, ‘I don’t think I ever remember witnessing Buffy kiss somebody with that much passion. Woah!’ She thought as she scrunched up her face, ‘I did not just use the word “passion” in reference to Buffy kissing Spike.’

‘Gotta remember that dang undo spell. Hope I don’t mess up this one also. Great, now I’m talking to myself and losing my mind at the same time. Yay, Two for the price of one! Right, need to fix this, need to stay focused, need to think positive thoughts.’

‘Buffy is sooooo going to kill me when she realizes what she’s doing and who she’s doing it to!! Ok, that’s not a positive thought seeing as how she probably will kill me when I get this resolved. Undo spell, positive thoughts got it. I got it!!’

“Let the healing power begin
Let my will be safe again
As the words of peace are spoken
Let this harmful spell be broken”

As Willow spoke these final words the world returned to its normal self. Or as normal as life was going to get on the Hellmouth.

Willow looked around the room to find out if everyone was ok. Xander and Anya were safe once again from the many different demons they had been fighting, said demons were also no where to be found which ment she made them disappear again, and Spike and Buffy were still kissing.

So once again everything was good again in Sunny…wait, why were Spike and Buffy still kissing????

“Hey Guys,” Willow said in a sheepish voice along with a little wave. ‘Maybe if I get on their good side, it won’t hurt so much when Buffy decides to kill me.’

If Willow had been thinking clearly she would’ve realized how untrue that was.

Buffy suddenly stopped kissing Spike, and the second she opened her eyes she instantly regretted it.

“Oh God,” Buffy said looking around the room at all of her friends watching them intently. She lowered her head and closed her eyes and then reopened them, trying to figure out if it was a dream or not. When she opened her eyes the second time, she realized not only had she not been dreaming and it had, in fact, happened, but Spike didn’t seem to mind at all if she wasn’t miss-reading the look in his eyes. That, and the fact that he was still holding onto her hips with a firm grip. Focusing once again on the look in his eyes, she almost forgot about her friends standing not five feet away from her, and almost finished where they had left off. That is, she was until Willow cleared her throat loudly enough to bring her back to her senses.

“Oh God,” she said again as she pushed off of Spike and stood up wiping at her lips.

Spike realized the look Buffy was giving him, one of pure lust. She wanted him. God knows he wanted her if the large bulge in his pants was any indication. Just as Spike was going to start moving her hips to begin grinding against him again, the witch went and cleared her throat loudly enough to bring Buffy out of whatever stupor she had previously been in.

‘Remind me to have a talk with Red ‘bout her perfect timing.’ He thought to himself as Buffy flew off of him as if she had been burned.

“Spike lips, Lips of Spike,” Buffy, practically yelling and trying to convince her friends at the same, said. She started to wipe at her mouth with the back of her hand, as if trying to get off deadly germs, pretending to be discussed with the mere thought of kissing Spike, let alone doing what she had been doing to him on the ground, not minutes before, when in actuality of it all she didn’t really mind. In fact if Willow hadn’t interrupted them, she would have gladly continued on with no hesitation.

Spike noticed that the Slayer wasn’t too happy to see who she had just been dry humping on the floor and decided that it would be in his best interest to play along if he wanted to continue on with his un-life. “OH! Bloody hell,” he said getting off the ground himself.

He wasn’t nearly half of upset as the Slayer was, but the look on Buffy’s face was quickly making up for that. Once again he decided to play along to see where this would lead as he turned his head towards her with a fake look of disgust and hatred on his face.

Buffy looked over at Spike at his out break, to see what he thought about this and noticed that he was looking back at her in disgust, hate, amusement, and….confusion? She walked over to where he was standing until she was about a step away from smashing his lips to hers again, and looked up at him. What she saw made her suppress a gasp, as the look of disgust and hate turned back into the look of lust and longing she had become acquainted with in the past day.

‘Right then’ Spike thought as he saw the Slayer walk over to him. But instead of punching him in the gut like he had suspected she would, she just stood there looking at him with the same look of want and confusion that he had seen seconds ago.

It finally dawned on her that her friends were still five feet away from her and Spike, watching this whole thing unfold with different amounts of interest, all wishing for a different ending. Tearing her eyes away from Spike’s piercing blue one’s, she looked at the faces of her friends with hopeful, bored, and angered faces.

Confused and not in the mood to put up with their questioning of her decisions, were she to make one, she turned around and walked out the door, intent on getting back to check on Giles’ as quickly as possible.

She was so focused on getting out of there as fast as she could that she didn’t notice that Xander decided to follow her, after throwing Spike his own look of disgust and anger, and headed off in search of Buffy. A reluctant Anya followed chasing after her boyfriend with a bored sigh, leaving a very confused witch and an equally confused vampire.

“What are you looking at, Red?” Spike asked with as much vermin as he could come up with, when he realized that Willow had yet to move or speak, focusing, instead, on watching him intently.

“Nothing,” she replied with a little hesitation. “I’m sorry Spike, I didn’t know that this was going to happen, honestly.”

“What did you think was going to bloody happen? We would all go to the land of bloody teddy bears and daisy’s?”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, you should be Red.” Spike answered giving up the fight trying to be mad at her.

‘Never could stay mad at the young witch for to long,’ he thought, as he sat on the ledge of the statue that was in the middle of the crypt. After he was seated on the edge, he started searching through his duster pockets, trying to find his fags. Once he found one he lit it up and looked towards the ground, trying to figure out why he wasn’t disgusted like he thought he should be when he looked back over the things that him and Buffy had been doing earlier that day, and trying to figure out why he wasn’t mad at the witch for putting the spell on him in the first place.

He had always had somewhat of a soft spot for her and was quite fond of her in a no talking to her ever sort of way, he reasoned. She was the only one that even seemed to care in the slightest amount about what happened to him after his new not so favorite piece of metal got shoved into his unwilling brain.

Besides he wasn’t upset at all about what went down between him and the Slayer during Red’s little spell gone wild in the first place. In fact he found that he kind of enjoyed it, strange as it sounds. ‘ If this is a mistake sign me up for her experiments’ he thought, remembering the way it had felt to have Buffy’s mouth on his, her small hands roaming all over his tight body.

‘Diffidently need to volunteer to be her genuine pig for her spells.’ With any luck he would’ve been able to get to marry Buffy and she wouldn’t have be able to change it back afterwards. ‘Maybe even a little more, if I had any luck at all’ he thought with a small smile, as soon as appeared it disappeared and turned into a frown.

‘Better play it safe,’ he thought, ‘don’t want her to suspect anything suspicious.’ Spike threw his spent fag to the ground and crushed it under his boot and turned his eyes to look and the redheaded witch with his head still downcast, with a fake confused look on his face.

“Why on earth would you want me and the slayer to get married in the first place? What have I ever done to you to make you hate me that much? I’m a bloody vampire, for Christ sake!! That used to mean something!

Willow didn’t answer him, but instead just continued to stand there and study him.

Spike became lost in thought again as he looked out the door that Buffy had recently ran out of.

Willow looked towards the ground trying to figure out what to do next, when she heard somebody sigh. Willow looked up to see that Spike had dropped his head down and his eyes closed. ‘ I don’t get it,’ she thought, ‘I would’ve excepted for him to be a lot madder at me then this.’

All of a sudden Willow heard a loud bark of laughter and realized that Spike was almost in tears from laughing so hard.

When Spike remembered that Willow was still there and currently staring at him like he was insane, which he was starting to think he was, he sobered up immediately and straightened from where he had been sitting down on the fountain statue, and put on a grin that always managed to be on at inappropriate times.

“Don’t think for one bloody second that I’m not still pissed at you Red. And you still haven’t answered my question yet, ‘bout why you wanted me and Buffy to get married.”

Willow simply hung her head again in shame and guilt. “I honestly don’t know. Well I kind of do but you don’t really want to know.”

“Sure I do,” Spike said trying to convince her with a charming smile.

“Ok, you do want to know, but I don’t want you to know.”

“And why’s that?” Spike asked already knowing the answer, his smile changing into a smirk.

“Cause you’d probably would kill me!” Looking at him as if he was crazy for not already knowing the answer.

Spike threw his head back, letting out a small chuckle, before looking back at Willow, “ Maybe, maybe not. And it’s not like I can anyways right? I mean with the chip and all.”

“Right, the chip,” Willow said with a small frown coming her forehead. She thought for a moment then asked, “Is that the only reason?”

“The only reason…..?”

“The only reason why you won’t kill me.” When Spike looked at her like she was speaking a different language she realized that if she wanted an honest answer that she was going to have to just come out and say it. “Because of the chip, is that the only reason you wouldn’t kill me if I told you the reason.”



Spike avoided her eyes when he replied by saying, “Yeah, that’s pretty much the only reason.”

“Spike!” The look she gave him let him know that she wasn’t going to buy his excuse for the life of her.

Spike shrugged his shoulders, looked down, and started kicking at the dirt on the ground before answering her honestly in a small, almost whispering, voice. “I don’t know, probably not. Can’t be sure exactly but I don’t think that I would.” He finished the last part looking right into her eyes before returning his gaze to the floor suddenly finding the circles he was making in the dirt extremely interesting.

Willow knew that he was telling her the truth this time buy the sincere look that was in his eyes and his avoidence to look at her.

“I was hurting.” When she started to speak he returned his eyes to look at her and gave her his full attention, cocking his head to the side. When Willow realized he was looking at her again, she had to duck her head to continue. She just couldn’t deal with the look of intensity that was coming from his eyes and be able to tell her story.

“I was hurting really bad, and I thought that I could make it go away if did a spell. And did I mention the sorry part?” Spike had to smirk at the look she had on her face at that moment; innocence combined with guilt.

When Spike nodded his head, she continued, “I was still feeling bad about Oz leaving, then you had to escape so that Giles’ had to call which ment Buffy had to leave so I went to Xander’s and Anya was coming over and didn’t have anytime for me which left me with nothing to do. And Buffy wasn’t going to be back anytime soon cause she was spending all of her time with you. Oh poor Spike,” she said in a mocking tone, “ he’s going to have to learn how to be house trained and not kill any more boo hoo hoo.”

“Hey! Still standing here ya know!” Spike understood that she was hurting, but still couldn’t help but get offended when she reminded him of his new state of existence. Plus he was starting to get a headache from all her rambling. ‘Now I know why Buffy was always over bugging me. Red here never knows when to stop talking and get to the bloody point,’ he thought.

“I understand you were hurting Red, but did you really think resorting to magic was going to make everything ok again?”

“I think I remember you asking me to do a spell for you at one point, asking me to help you get Drusilla back.”

At that, Spike had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed at that comment.

Willow couldn’t find the strength to look up as she admitted in a soft tone, “I would’ve done anything to get my heart to stop hurting like it was.”

Spike had an intense need to make her feel better all of a sudden for no apparent reason besides the look on her face. When he realized she was on the verge of tears, he decided to question why he suddenly cared later and try and comfort her now. “Ya, well, here’s news for you pet: love hurts. Love burns. And when the one you love leaves you, it hurts. It cuts, and it burns, and it leaves you feeling like someone ripped you apart starting on the inside and working it’s way out and there’s nothing you can do to make it stop. Not torturing someone in their place, not drinking till you can’t remember how to stand, let alone who hurt you so deeply, not even magic. Take it from someone who knows.”

“But your all better now, I mean you don’t look like your grieving or even hurt anymore. Well I mean you do, but nothing like you did the last time you came to town. How’d you do it?” she asked, acting almost astonished.

“You fall in love again Red, you fall in love again.” This is simply bloody amazing. If someone told me a year ago that I’d be standing here in front of the Slayer’s best friend having an actual conversation I would’ve killed them for lying to me.

Spike turned and walked over towards the wall with the door near it and leaned his back against it, with one foot bent and resting on it was well. When he looked back at the young witch he noticed her staring at him again, this time with surprise smeared all over her face. Spike chuckled before he put all her questions to rest. “Don’t go getting any ideas in that pretty little head of yours Red, that’s not how I got over Dru.”

Willows surprised face took a turn down confused lane as she continued to listen to him thinking that he was about to give her the advice that would help her get though the next couple of days, little did she know.

Spike looked towards the ground once again and smirked, deciding on telling her the truth; which wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth.

“After I went Brazil, which if you haven’t noticed didn’t do me any good me cause she still didn’t want anything to do with me, I decided to head towards Mexico. Far enough to learn to be on my own without Dru, but close enough to the Hellmouth if anything big was going to go down. It kept me busy for a while, did the whole kill anything that dared cross my path.” At this Willow cringed and Spike shrugged hi shoulders, not really caring what she thought about it. She was the one who wanted to know what happened, and there was no sense in lying to her; it was in the past, over and one with.

Spike took in a sharp breath and then continued in a softer tone, “I still thought about her though, all the bloody time. The smallest thing would remind me of her. Sometimes I’d pretend that she wasn’t gone, that she was just waiting for me to come back. It helped, for a little bit. Never was long enough though. Every couple a saw holding hands would make my blood boil. Knowing they had what I wanted back. Somehow I just couldn’t make myself kill them. Knowing that they were happy and how much it would hurt them to see the other in so much pain. I might be a vampire, a demon, but I don’t wish heartbreak to anyone. Torture? Yes. Pain? Yes. Death? Yes. But heartbreak? Never. That’s the ultimate pain. Wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.” Spike looked over at Willow and saw her once again staring at him like he was insane. Like she finally realized that he wasn’t as heartless as they all seemed to believe.

He thought for a minute then said, “Well…..maybe Angel.” Willow threw him a look that tried not to be amused but, when she saw the grin that had spread on his face to lighten the mood, she couldn’t help but send him her own wicked grin.

“Knew I could get a smile, pet. Tried to get drunk more times then I can bloody count,” Spike said as he continued on. “Used to sit in my hotel room, bottle ‘o whiskey in my hands, listen’n to the radio. Wanted to smash the damn thing countless times, every time they played one of those damn God forsaken love songs.” Spike perked up as he had an idea how to get her to smile again. He straightened from where he had previously been leaning against the wall and walked over towards her in a slow, almost predatory walk. “And believe me pet, half the bloody recording industry makes all their money off of broken hearted love songs. If those people ever tried to get a job in the place I like to call “the real world” they wouldn’t have a clue what to do and they’d fall flat on their asses.”

Willow giggle as she shook her head in agreement, and Spike let a genuine smile cross his face as he noticed that she wasn’t so depressed anymore.

‘I don’t know if I can hate him after this,’ she thought has she looked into his face. ‘I bet Buffy wouldn’t hate him if she saw this side of him either. Underneath the bad boy “I’m gonna kill you all and take over the world” image, he was just a really nice guy with a huge heart who got cursed becoming a vampire.’ She almost felt sorry for him.

“Well, that’s two smiles so far. Let’s see, can I get another?” Willow could not resist, and gave him what he wanted to see, her brightest smile yet. “Tone it down pet!!” At her confused look at his sudden burst of out rage he continued with a new smile all over his face. “I asked for a smile, not to light the bloody room up with the pretty sunshine so yours truly gets extra crispy.” Willow once again started smiling on high beam and giggling like a schoolgirl.

“I do believe I asked for one more smile, and got two for the price of one. Damn I’m good!!” Spike started doing, what she guessed, was his version of “the happy dance.” He was making a complete fool out of himself to get her to be happy. She never saw this side of Spike before, but she hoped she got to see it more. Spike finally stopped and stared at her, a small smile still on his face, and she couldn’t have pictured him being more loving then she saw him being at this moment. She secretly wished that he wouldn’t go back to wanting to kill her when they returned to everyday living, or un-living as the case may be, but she’d never admit that to him, afraid of what the outcome might be.

He sobered up completely, any trace of the fun he’d been having seconds ago gone. “to answer your question pet,” he said seriously, “I not over Dru. Doubt I ever will be. She will always be in my heart. I will always occasionally think about her. I loved her, still do, and always will. You don’t lost forget about someone you love, and you don’t stop loving them either. They will always be in your heart. I’m getting better being away from Dru and learning to let go of her, hell I was with her for over a century. But I’m getting better now, and so will you, just give it a little more time.”

“But you being with Drusilla s a little different then me being with Oz.” Off his confused look she informed him, “Me and Oz were only together for a little under two years. You were with Dru for over a century. There’s a major time gap.”

Spike shook his head, ‘Sometimes this girl is so smart, and at others it’s like she forgot how to think things though at all.’

“It doesn’t matter how long you are with someone, Red. It’s about the love, it’s about the passion, its’ about the burning desire that can never seemed to be contained when your around your honey.”

Willow looked to her wrist, where she had remembered to put a watch on the mourning, and saw that it was only a couple hours till sunrise and that she had an early class the next day, so they should be getting back. Willow sighed looking once again chest fallen.

Spike had noticed her checking her watch and could pretty much figure what she was thinking at the moment. She didn’t want to go back. She didn’t want to have to go back to her friends to her how wrong her decisions were, when she was doing what anyone else with her power would’ve tried. Spike didn’t really want to be getting back to soon either. In fact he personally didn’t want to ever have to go back to being tied in that bloody tub, but he wanted to be there for Willow and help ease some of the pressure she was about to get put on her. If he was completely honest with himself again, he didn’t want his time with her to end so soon.

“Hey I’ll tell you what pet,” Spike said trying to figure out a way for her to get her feelings out and not have to resort to this kind of magic again, not tat he’d object, “ No more spells on me or your little Scoobie friends, and whenever you need someone to talk to, I’ll be there for you.”

At that Willow looked up again as she saw Spike standing before her offering to be her friend when she needed him. Maybe this way she’d be able to find out what was going on in his own head earlier about Buffy. Still she wouldn’t help but wonder why he was being so nice to her and offering to e her friend in the first place.

“I thought you hated us?”

“I don’t hate you. But I don’t want you doing anymore spells that will put my un-life in danger. ‘And I’m not so sure I’ll stop when the spell gets reversed if she does this again.’

“Well then,” Willow said sticking out her hand, “You’ve got yourself a deal Mister.”

Spike smiled again as he rose his hand out to shake her already outstretched hand, but instead of simply shaking her hand, he gripped her hand firmly and pulled her into a friendly embrace.

“You’re a good friend Spike,” Willow said with her head resting on his shoulder as she let out a sigh. She felt completely safe in his arms and not threatened in the least, and she had a feeling it had nothing to do with his chip.

Spike smiled over her shoulder as well, letting out his own sigh, before he pulled back and said in mock seriousness, “Yeah, well don’t let it get around luv, got a reputation to keep up you know.”

She giggled, “Spike, I think it’s safe to say that your reputation is pretty much shot. You haven’t been able to kill anyone in a while, remember?” The smile on her face let him know that she was just playing.

“Yeah, well I guess your right pet. But don’t, under any circumstances, let it back to that Slayer friend of yours. Don’t even want to begin to imagine the kind of things she’s say if she found out that I went soft, even for one bloody second. Epically to one of her closet pals which, might I add, is completely human.”

Willow was having a hard time remembering why Buffy and the rest of the Scooby gang hated him so much. He really was a nice sweet guy who seemed to act like being a vampire was almost like a curse to him.

“Oh come on Spiky, you know that you love us. Me, and Buffy and……Oh my goddess Buffy!!!”

“What about the Slayer, luv?” Now standing back a few feet from her.

“Buffy s-s-she ran out.” Willows face took on a panicked look as she started to pace nervously.

When Spike thought of what the Slayer would think of him and hers time together, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of how she would react to some of the stuff that they had been doing. And along with his chuckle came a smile of contentment that he thought was quick enough to escape her sight. Willow wasn’t about to ruin their little truce and piss him off by telling him that he was wrong in his theory. ‘Let him think he’s the smartass if he wants, I know better.’ Outside she kept her appearance calm and collect, but on the inside she was she had a smug look grinning in triumph at the thought that maybe something good came out of her spell after all. Weird how she wasn’t exactly worried about the fact that she was thinking of a way to get them to talk and possibly
get together and didn’t feel the least bit guilty because of it, actually, she was almost pleased.

“Come on Spikey. Lets go and see if she went back to Gi… Oh my goddess, Giles!!!

“What about the Watcher, pet?” ‘Wish she’d think one thought before she decided to think another bleeding thought.’ Spike said that he was going to be her friend; he didn’t, however, say that he didn’t still get annoyed with her at times.

“I-I-I said that he was blind,” she lowered her eyes as well as her voice, finding it hard to continue at the thought of hurting someone else. “Did he actually go blind?” She finally got out, almost scared of the answer.

“Ya luv, ‘fraid he did.”

Willow sighed, knowing that she’d be getting a lecture when they got back. Speaking of getting back, she looked towards the window in the crypt they were standing in and realized it was completely pitch black outside. “We better be getting back Spike,” she said with some hesitation. She had enjoyed her time talking to spike, and didn’t want him to return to treating her the way he usually did when the others were around. “Me and Buffy have early classes tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure that the rest of the gang are wondering where we’re at by now.” She sighed once again, this time accompanied by and eye roll.

Spike laughed a little, feeling much the same way as her. He had also enjoyed their time together and didn’t want to see it end. He sensed her reluctance to leave, and went over to stand beside her and put an arm over her shoulders and gave it a gentle squeeze for reassurance. “No worries, luv, we’ll make time to talk more when life ain’t trying to twist our knickers so much, huh? Or you know, shove them up our arse’s so high”

Once again Willow couldn’t help the urge to laugh at his antics. She nodded her head, and Spike tilted his head towards the door, reminding them that they should be going, and dropped his arm from where he’d slung it over her shoulders. She sighed once more, looked at Spike and gave him one more small grin to which he returned, and headed for the door, Spike behind her.

She stopped as she got a couple feet from where they had been standing and turned around to, surprisingly, see Spike following her.

Spike gave her an evil grin at the look of surprise once again on her face. “No worries, pet. I’m coming. And this time, willingly.

Willow rolled her eyes while shooting him, again, another smile. ‘Hmm,’ She thought, ‘Seems I do a lot of that when I’m around him. Strange.’ She started to head to the door once more…and then stopped. She turned around to look at Spike, but didn’t say anything, just stood there staring a him, making him feel some-what uncomfortable.

Almost worried he asked, “Something wrong, luv?”

“Nothing really,” She looked, to Spike at least, as if she was weighing the options of telling him something. In the end, he supposed, telling him anyway won out in her head. “I was just wondering how a vampire with no soul, ho loves to kill people and cause mayhem might I add…could be so kind and caring.”

Now it was Spike’s turn to stare at her in shock. Never had someone said such kind words to him in all his existence. He gave her a shy smile, ducking his head, wishing for the first time in ages that he had kept his shaggy hair he had as a human and in his early vampire days, so that he would be able to hide his face. He was grateful that vampires didn’t have running blood, because he was sure is he did his face would be lobster red at this point.

Not knowing how to deal with a situation like this, he decided to go for the cocky approach, while trying to shake off his embarrassment. He looked up at her, his eyes still showing off his wonder at her kind words, and through her a devilish grin. “What I say, luv? I’m unique.” He drawled the words out till they were almost a purr rumbling off of his lips.

Willow rolled her eyes at his “sure of myself” attitude. And started for the door. And stopped again.

Spike was now becoming annoyed. ‘At this rate, we won’t make it back to the Watcher’s flat till the next bloody week.’

Willow knew he was getting upset with her. “Thanks,” she said, not telling him the reason behind her words, trying to keep it short without making him even grumpier.

He nodded his head, then pointed to the door.

She turned around to head out, this time making it out the door. She wasn’t able to see the full smile Spike had on his face when she left. Once Willow was outside she looked over her shoulder, expecting to find Spike. What she saw was empty space between her and the crypt she had been teleported into thanks to De’hofren.

With her facing the crypt fully now, Spike snuck up from behind her, and placed an arm around her shoulders. Willow screamed and jumped around with her hands covering her mouth.

“Didn’t think that I was going anywhere did ya, ducks?” Willow sent him a look that would make a puppy’s ears fall down, knowing that it was in trouble for doing something it wasn’t supposed to do. Spike let out a full bark of laughter, while using the arm he had around her shoulders once more, to pull her along towards the street that would lead them to Giles’.

Willow warped one arm around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. Both completely at ease being so close to one another. They didn’t say anything else for the entire trip back, but they both knew that they were walking away with a friendship that would come in handy over the next few weeks.

Disclaimer: See chapter one

A/N: Please keep in mind that this chapter begins when Buffy walks out of the crypt and Xander and Anya followed in chapter one, and takes place during the time Spike and Willow are talking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Oh God,’ Buffy thought, ‘Why the hell was I kissing Spike? Oh yeah.’ “Willow,” She said out loud.

‘Ok, why was I humping Spike like a bitch in heat?’ “The answer once again,” She said as she answered all her thought up questions out loud, “Willow.”

“Now onto the true question, why was I kissing and humping Spike and actually liking it?” ‘Can I blame that on Willow to? Cause that would help me out a lot right now.’

She looked behind her and saw no one following her. ‘Which is probably because I ran out of there like the devil was on my heels. Buffy the coward, yep that’s me.’

Buffy was silently hoping that Willow would be smart enough to stay away from her for a while so that she had time to cool down some so that she wasn’t in the line of fire from the very pissed off slayer that was cursing her name in as many languages as she could think of. Or as many as she knew. Which was one.

“And it’s not like I was willingly kissing him. It was all because of the stupid spell. A spell she was going to find when she got back to the dorm, even if she had to rip the room a part to find the damn thing. ‘And then I’m going to burn that bitch.’

She was so caught up in her thoughts of torturing that damn book, that she didn’t hear Xander coming up behind her calling her name.

Xander ran up until he was directly behind her and when she still didn’t notice his presence, he reached out a hand and placed it on her right shoulder.

She finally realized that someone was behind her, but it was to late because whatever it was about to tackle her to the ground. As it was it already had a hand on her shoulder, so she did the first thing that came to mind, let her slayer take over. She grabbed his forearm with her left, and reached her right hand behind her to grab the creature’s upper arm. Once both of her hands had a firm grip on her attacker, she ducked down a little and then lifted herself straight up and tossed her opponent to the ground in front of her and saw the creature’s face, but instead of expecting a vile creature she looked down and saw…Xander?

Buffy put her hands over her mouth and took a step back. “Oh God,” She said. She had just tossed Xander over her head, and by the looks of it, he hadn’t had a very pleasant landing. In fact it looked quite painful, if the thud he made when he landed was any indication.

Buffy realized that she had been saying a lot of “oh gods” lately, and decided to but a little more syllable’s into her vocabulary. “Xander, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize it was you, honestly. Are you ok?”

“Buff, calm down, it’s ok, and I’m fine. I’m just not gonna be getting up to soon.” He laughed a little, “It’s a good thing that it’s not raining outside, because without the stars I’d probably be deadly bored if I’m going to be down here as long as I think I am. What were u thinking about so hard, Buff?”

“More like some very disturbing recent memories,” She covered, for some reason, she didn’t want Xander to know about her plans of burning the book, ‘He might try to stop me,’ She reasoned. And she also decided to keep going along with her idea of denying what he was really feeling inside for Spike. ‘I’ll probably let them know when I figure it out myself…well…maybe.’

She offered a hand down to Xander, and helped to pull him up to his feet. “Wow, guess I won’t be down there for as long as I thought I would be. Haha,” He said, pointing at the ground and laughing at it. Buffy cracked a smile at his joking, just as a rather upset Anya came up to join them.

“What’s going on? Xander, why are you on the ground? What did you do to him?” She finished by looking at Buffy with an accusing glare.

“Calm down Ayn, it’s ok. Buffy here just thought that I should get more acquainted with the dirt.” He brushed a hand off as if to say ‘no big deal.’

“Whatever,” Anya replied, “But if you can’t perform tomorrow night after our date, I’m going to be highly perturbed!!”

Buffy sighed as she once again apologized to Xander. She ran her hands over hair, which was now tangled thanks to Spike’s wondering hands. She then ran her hands down her shirt and the tops of her pants to get out a few wrinkles that had been made when she had been wiggling around on top of Spike’s hard body. ‘Hard being the key word there,’ she thought.

“I’m sorry Buffy.” At her questioning look he continued, “For the hell that had to come with the knowledge that you were engaged to Spike.”

‘Oh yeah,’ she thought irritably. She was not in the mood for Xander’s comments, but found she had no other choice but to go along with it or else she’d never hear the end of it. ‘And I have a test tomorrow,’ She groaned inwardly, but sighed out loud. “Xander, please remind me that willow is my friend and I don’t really want to rip her head off her shoulders and let her body dangle over a shark tank for hours on end.”

“Not taking it lightly I assume?”

“LIGHTLY?!?!?!? Lightly was the last word that comes to mind at the moment, Xander!!” Buffy turned around sharply, which sent her hair flying backwards over her shoulders, and started walking back towards Giles house as she continued on her fake rage fit with Xander and Anya following her.

“It’s just, it’s Spike, Xander! I WAS ENGAGED TO SPIKE!!!! There has got to be a law against that somewhere. Why on earth would Willow want me to get married to Spike of all people living and, you know, non-living. It just doesn’t make sense. I mean I know that I’ve been at Giles’ a lot working with Spike lately, but it’s not like I want to be spending time with him, technically I’m working on getting information in the commandoes. It’s not like I go over there to watch movies and eat popcorn with the guy, IT’S SPIKE!

“I mean he’s not even free to go wherever he wants. He’s locked in the damn bathtub in the apartment Watcher’s apartment to the one slayer he’s never been able to kill. How does all this become my fault?

“It doesn’t Buffy, Willow’s just under a lot of stress right now.”

“Yeah, well, you got the easy one.”

“Umm…Hello? Demon magnet!”

“Umm…Hello? Marrying Spike!!!”

“I think she’s got you beat on things a person never wants to do in their life,’ Anya threw in, speaking up for the first time since they started walking. “You have to face demon’s everyday weather or not Willow curses you to it. Buffy marrying Spike has to be one of he last things in her do to for fun.”

“Not one of the things on my “not to do” list, the last thing on the damn list.” Anya just shrugged in response.

“Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point there. But at least he was trying to protect you and not trying to rip your throat out for his next dinner.” Xander was trying his best to get the upper hand in this, but it just didn’t seem to be working. ‘Anya’s right,’ he thought, ‘Marrying Spike is away worse then me being cursed by having demons following me around trying to kill me.’

“Not yet at least,” Buffy responded, breaking him out of his pity trip his thoughts were taking him on. Buffy wasn’t mad at Spike, and was actually madder at herself for lying to her friends. ‘I wonder what they would think if I told them the truth. Or at least part of the truth,’ she reasoned. ‘Xander definitely couldn’t handle the whole truth. Great, now I sound like I’m in court waiting to be judged on a crime I committed. Seems fitting.’

“You want to know the worst part of it all?” At Xander’s intriguing look she went on. ‘The memories of him kissing me I actually kinda liked.’

“Well yeah, Buff, wasn’t that part of the spell? To make you like him?” ‘She couldn’t possibly have feeling for Spike. She couldn’t… right?’

“I honestly can’t explain it to you Xander,” Buffy continued, oblivious to what Xander was thinking. She was so confused herself that she couldn’t really concentrate on anything else at the moment, and it was giving her a major headache. All she could see in her head were memories of her and Spike together and thoughts of what could have been, had Willow not reversed the spell before it got to out of hand. And to top it all off, the only thing she could her in her head was Spike telling her that he loved her. She sighed, “I really don’t know how to explain it.”

Anya was trying to put herself in someone else’s shoes for once in all her existence, and the thoughts of what Buffy must have been doing with Spike didn’t seem all that bad to her. Yes she was repulsed at the sight of them kissing in Giles’ living room and what they had been doing in the crypt, but she had to admit, that he was kinda cute. Who was she trying to kid? Spike was HOT!!! ‘I wonder if he’s a good kisser? Bet he’s got a nice size penis as well. He’d probably be good in bed. Nothing like Xander,’ She reasoned. ‘Xander’s sweet and innocent…but in a cute way that makes him an approachable sex partner. Spike’s a complete Bad Boy that one would think needs taming. The kind of guy a girl builds a sex bot over.’

Xander sighed, bringing her back from her delicious thoughts of a robot Spike pounding into her like there was no tomorrow. Out of the blue she asked, “So does this mean you have feelings for Spike?”

This halted Buffy steps as she spun around to face the ex-demon. “Ok Anya, Listen CARE-FUL-LY!” She pronounced each syllable slowly as if talking to a child so that she could make sure that she got the point she was about to make. ‘And maybe I’ll be able to convince myself as well,’ She silently added.

“1.) I was trying to think about it.” ‘Not think about? HAHA!!!’ “2.) I can’t have feelings for Spike.” Well at least that one wasn’t a lie.’ “3.) EWW!!!” ‘Why doesn’t my nose just start growing so that I can call my self Pinocchio the Vampire Slayer?’ With everything she had to say out, she returned on her journey towards Giles’ The two Scoobies still following her.

“Ok, first… I’m not stupid.”

“Your not? Well then, could you please stop acting like it?”

“Whatever. Look, do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”

“NO!!!”

“Good. So…here’s how I see it. I don’t understand why your pulling the “I cant have feelings for Spike,” line. It’s getting old. And why exactly can’t you have feelings for him for ye the expert on vampires?”

“Ok Anya, here’s an idea. He’s a vampire.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Xander said holding up a hand and stopping the two girls movements and well as his own. If Xander had been thinking clearer then he would have known why it would be such a good idea to not say what he was about to. But, being Xander, he decided to just say it without thinking first. “Isn’t Angel a vampire, Buffy?” At her nod of correction, seemingly already knowing where this was going, Xander continued, “So how is it that you can love Angel, but not Spike?”

Xander seemed to finally realize what he was asking her and his face turned from one of questioning to one of shock. “I did not just defend the beached wonder!”

“Yeah, imagine my surprise,” Buffy said, in almost as much shock as he was in. She rolled her eyes and shook her head a little trying to clear it, and then kept walking towards her destination.

“I’m not saying that we should forget that Spike’s a vampire,” Anya said, once again speaking up and trying to take control of the conversation. “All I’m saying is that you need to be open to the possibility that you might ha…”

“DON’T ANYA!!!” Anya was cut off by a very upset Slayer. “JUST DON’T, OK?” Buffy stoped walking once again and turned around to face the ex-demon directly. “Don’t even say it! I will say it for myself. Yes, ok, I have feel for Spike.”

Xander’s mouth dropped open, but no sound came out. ‘Did she just say what I fearing she just said?’ He thought.

“But,” Buffy continued, “All they are, are feelings of hatred and repulsion and…and disgust alright??? But not love. NEVER love. I could never love a soulless, non-human, neutered vampire who has done everything he knows to kill me and my friends!”

Anya let out a sigh. ‘Right when I thought that we were getting somewhere,’ she thought.

“Whatever you say Buffy, whatever you say. But you were wrong about one thing.”

“Oh yeah?” Buffy replied, turning around and walking once again, Anya hot on her heels with Xander taking up the back.

“Spike is no eww.”

It was Xander’s turn to stop in his tracks. Buffy stopped along with him, even though she couldn’t see him. When she turned around to look back at the couple, she had to hide from bursting out and laughing over the look on Xander’s face.

“You can’t be serious,” He said when he as able to form some sort of coharitible sound from his mouth. He stared at her in disbelief as he awaited her answer to his question. She obviously thought that it was a rhetorical question because it didn’t look like she was going to be answering anytime soon.

Buffy was trying her hardest not to start smiling, but his face did her in and she couldn’t contain the little grin that slipped though. She didn’t want Xander to think that she didn’t care and that she was on Anya’s side, cause she wasn’t uh uh not at all nope not her, so she put her hand over her mouth, hoping that Xander wouldn’t notice or that Anya wouldn’t open up her big mouth.

“Your not serious Anya…you can’t be.” Xander raved on. “You cannot think that Spike is cute.”

Anya started to walk past Buffy, knowing that Xander was on the edge of a jealousy cliff. Buffy followed closely after Anya, even though she doubted that she noticed her at all.

“Anya…” Xander probed.

“No alright Xander.” ‘And to think that I used to find his jealousy to be a cute thing. Now it’s just annoying.’

“I don’t think Spike is cute.” ‘It’s gonna take us a while to get back to Giles’, may as well have a little fun on the way,’ She grinned.

Xander was apparently satisfied with his girlfriends answer cause he ran to catch up with the two girls that hadn’t gotten that far yet. When he reached them he put an arm over Anya’s shoulders and said, “Good cause you had me worried there for a moment.”

“He hot!!!”

“He’s what?!?!?!?” ‘Please let this be a dream,’ He thought.

“He hot.’

“He’s What?!?!?” ‘Oh god…it’s not a dream’

“He’s ho…”

“Please Anya, I heard it to many times already.” Xander was lost in her words. Not in a romantic I can’t believe how romantic this is, but more of a good god almighty this cannot be happening.


‘How can she think that Spike is hot??? And how come she actually said it out loud?’ He silently wondered. ‘She’s never said that I was hot out loud before. She couldn’t possibly…no. NO NO NO NO AND NO!!

“Anya…please tell me that YOU don’t have feelings for Spike.”

“No Xander, I don’t have feelings for Spike. So you can stop the jealousy act.”

“I don’t think this is an act,” Buffy said, putting her two sense in. “I think that he’s really this jealous.”

“I am not jealous of the evil, bloodsucking, white as snow, gross bodied, completely disgusting pig named Spike.”

Both girls wondered how one person could put that much hatred and anger into one sentence, let alone of person’s, or in this case vampires, name.

“Whatever you say Xander. I do not have any feelings for Spike.”

“Neither do I,” Buffy piped in.

“I simply think that he’s hot is all. That doesn’t mean that I have feelings for him.” ‘Sometimes he can be so blind.’

“That’s all???”

“Yes that’s all.”

“I’d like to comment that I don’t have feelings, nor do I think that Spike is anything other then disgusting.”

“Thank you Buffy for that useful piece of information. Now, Anya…how on earth could you think that he’s hot?”


Deciding to have a little more fun with his mind, Anya started swaying as she walked and made her voice sound breathy like she was talking about her 7th grade crush. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the hair.”

“Don’t you mean is alien identification?”

Anya ignored Xander’s comments and continued as if he hadn’t said a word. “Or maybe it’s the accent.”

“He sounds like William Shakespeare for Christs sake, Anya!!”

Continuing she said, “Black looks really, really good on him. And all his shirts fit him like a condom fits a…”

“STOP!!!” Xander and Buffy said simultaneously.

Anya sent Buffy a sideward glance that said you were thinking the same thing.

“All his pants fit him EXTREMELY well…especially when he bends over with his back to you so that you can see his ass!!”


“ANYA!!!!!!!!!!!”

“All I’m saying is that I’m having a hard time trying to figure out why someone wouldn’t be attracted towards him.”

‘Ok this is getting kinda weird,’ Buffy thought. ‘It’s like she took an all access pass through my head and says all the things I’m thinking. Oh god…this could become a problem quickly.’

“Ok guys listen,” Buffy said trying to get the topic of the conversation over with as quickly and as painlessly as she could. But she was ignored and Anya kept trying to reason with Xander.

“I don’t see why your taking this so personal Xander. It’s not like I’m going to go out and have sex with Spike or anything.” ‘Hmm,’ She thought, ‘Now there’s an idea.’

“Please never say that again.” Xander and Buffy both said at the same time, although Buffy’s mind was far from disagreeing.

“Ok already! Xander stop being such a baby!” At this point Anya was so fed up with his jealousy that she was thinking of not having sex with him for a week!!! ‘Although, that would also be a punishment for me as well. Can’t have that.’

“I am not being a baby!!!”

“Your are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“I AM NOT BEING A BABY!!!”

“YES YOU ARE!!!”

“GUYS!!!”

“WHAT???” They both said in unison.

She sighed, “Can we please keep walking?” Somewhere during there little argument they ad stopped walking which halted Buffy’s movements and her intentions of checking on Giles’. They all started walking again for the time being.

“Come on Buffy,” Anya said, not wanting to let this go until she got the answer that she KNEW Buffy wanted to say, but was to stubborn to admit. “You cannot tell me that you don’t think Spike is hot.”

“Anya, please stop,” Xander pleaded. “Sooner or later your going to keep saying that and put me in a coma if I’m lucky.”

“Well Buffy? Do you?” Anya probed stopping once again from their journey to the Watcher’s apartment.

“Which answer will get us to Giles’ place before next month?”

“Buffy please, not you to.” Xander begged.

“Either way. I just want to know the truth.” It seemed Anya was determined to get it out of her. “Buffy, can you honestly say that you’ve never, on your own free will, thought that Spike was attractive?”

“Honestly…?” ‘Damn, she might have me.’ Buffy thought. ‘I shouldn’t even need to question this. It should just come out as a simple NO! Has it changed? I mean, Xander was right, even though he’s gonna regret ever saying it. Angel was a vampire and I loved him more then anything.’

“But he had a soul,” The little angel on her right shoulder argued.

“Yes but that was just restraining him like the chip in Spike’s head restrains him. Without the soul he killed more people then Spike ever did,” The devil on her left argued.

‘So apparently my feelings for Spike did change,’ She said in her head, silently telling the little mythical characters on her shoulders to go away. ‘But Anya’s not asking if I love spike or not. She’s asking if I think he’s hot. So where did the question of do I love Spike come from?’

“Now that I think about it Anya,” Buffy finally said, “I’ve never really thought about him in that way.” ‘That’s it Buffy. Lie your way out of it. That’s the mature thing to do.’

“Well I’ve thought about it, but only tonight during Willow’s Spell.” ‘At least that part is the truth.’

“Good,” Xander said. “Can we keep it that way?”

“Only if we start moving again,” Buffy added.

“Sounds like a plan Buffster.” Xander happily moved along, right past the two girls, glad that all this non-sense was over. Or so he thought.

Buffy followed behind Xander, but the brunette boy was still several feet in front of her. What she thought was going to be a quiet walk back to Giles’ place now turned out to be an on going conversation…which apparently wasn’t over cause Anya was right behind her.

“Was that really the truth Buffy?” Anya asked again, but not loud enough for Xander, who was still several feet in front of them, could ear.

‘Not entirely,’ She thought, but out loud said, “Yeah.”

“Whatever. All I’m saying is that Spike IS hot. And I know that you’ve thought it to. That’s one of the first things a girl notices about a guy, human or not, whether or not she thinks he’s cute, hot or, ugly and whether or not she would like to have sex with him. And lets be honest for the first time tonight ok? Spike doesn’t even come close to being ugly and past the “cute” barrier a long time ago.

“Don’t tell Xander this, but I was totally not joking about the whole “tight pants” thing. I mean, come on Buffy. You’re the Slayer, he’s a vampire, you two have fought millions of times and your trying to tell me you’ve never once looked at his ass??? I don’t think so.”

Buffy was trying hard not to smile, while at the same time trying to figure out just when exactly her and Anya became the kind of friends that talk about guys asses together. ‘Although she’s the only one talking and I’m trying to keep from agreeing.’

It fell silent for a few minutes with Anya waiting out to see how long it would be before Buffy cracked and just admitted it. Her avoidance to talk about it made her realize that she was hiding more then she was willing to tell. Xander was just too blind to see it.

Buffy was lost in the thoughts about what had happened in the past day, and after a few minutes let a small smile appear on her lips and looked down so that Anya wouldn’t notice the little blush that was coming up on her cheeks. Although Buffy should have known that that was what Anya was waiting for the whole time and had expected her to do just that.

“That’s what I thought.” Now that she had gotten the answer she wanted, she had time to think about Spike’s ass herself before they were at Giles’. “He does have a nice ass.” She said after a minute.

“I got that part. You’ve said it like a thousand times tonight. Anya had put very good images in her head that, a day in a half ago, she would have found disgusting. Or would she? ‘Just when did my feelings for Spike change? The spell is definitely gone, but the same thoughts are still there. I don’t love him or want to marry him or anything thing, but…DAMN HE HAS A NICE ASS!!!’

‘Oh god…I did not just think that. Just yesterday I wanted him dead now I want to go back to the dorm and dream of having sex with him. OH GOD!!! I did not think that!’

“I think that I might think about Spike’s ass later tonight. Not when me and Xander are having sex cause I might say Spike’s name instead of Xander and then he would just go into another jealousy trip. But later tonight when I go to sleep that would something to dream about. Maybe dream of having sex with him if I’m lucky.”

Buffy looked over at the ex vengeance demon in complete shock. Once again she had read her mind and the look on her face told Anya exactly that. Anya smiled, pleased with hersef.

“You have to admit, he is hot.”

Buffy looked to the ground then over to Anya and smiled before looking back to the ground again, this time still smiling.

“Knew it,” Anya said smiling as well. The rest of the trip was made in silence as all three of them walked away with a little more knowledge.

Anya walked away knowing that she was going to have some very good dreams and pleased with herself knowing that she had finally gotten Buffy to admit what she had known for a while.

Buffy walked away with far more knowledge about how she felt about Spike then she ever wanted to know. She also knew that this new found knowledge of her emotions was going to be a hard thing to keep from Willow.

Xander walked away with a smile on his face after checking his watch and seeing that it was close to mourning and that it would be breakfast soon and he could eat.