And all of your ways, all you dream, Falls on me………

Elizabeth or Buffy as her family affectionately called her raced through the grassy floor of the forest. Her long blond hair was flying behind her, her green eyes sparkling with laughter. William’s deep laughter carried behind her as she ran. He caught up with her grabbing her around the waist and falling among the clovers and flowers.

“Caught ya,” he said laughing.

“Only because I let you,” Buffy replied becoming all too aware of his body pressed against hers.

“Uh huh sure,” William said his heart pounding in his throat.

He too was becoming very aware of her body. The smiles faded off their faces as their eyes locked. William felt her sweet breath on his face. Slowly he lifted his hand to pull her blond locks off her face. Buffy’s breath caught as he tilted his head and touched his mouth to hers. He kissed her innocently his lips merely brushing against her. Buffy thought she was on fire. The feel of his lips on hers was exquisite.

If Buffy thought she was on fire then William thought he was going to die. Never before had he felt such passion and love surge through him. He felt her hands creep up his neck and wind themselves in his wavy sun-bleached locks. Her lips responded to his and parted slowly to allow his tongue to slide along hers. She moaned against his mouth her lower regions flooding with warmth and longing.

She could feel his passion hard and throbbing against her leg. Instinctively she pressed her leg against his member eliciting a moan from him. William felt his self-control fading fast.

“Buffy,” he moaned against her mouth. Buffy opened her eyes to see William with his eyes tightly shut and panting hard.

“We’ve got to stop.”

“No Will, I don’t want to stop,” she whined trying to pull his mouth back to hers.

“Buffy please! I’m losing my control now as we speak. If I do not stop right now…….” He didn’t finish. He reluctantly tore himself away from her body and sat up. Buffy followed suit and sat up too. William had one leg up and was resting his head against it, shielding his eyes from her.

Buffy lifted her hand to his neck and rubbed it.

“We should go back,” he said finally lifting his cerulean blue eyes to look right at her.

Buffy nodded as William stood up. Silently he held out his hand to her. She smiled and grabbed onto it allowing him to help her up.

She didn’t let go of his hand right away instead relishing in the feel of his touch. William didn’t let go he wasn’t too anxious to leave her either.

“We can meet here again later,” he said his thumb rubbing circles into her palm.

“Ok,” she smiled as they started their trek back to the house.

It was a warm summer day as the lord of Summerhaven paced in front of his library window. He raked a strong hand through his sandy blond locks and stopped to look out the window at the rows of orange and pear trees he had lining his estate.

“What are you thinking about?” his wife said from behind him.
Hank spun around and went to his wife.

“Just the girls Joyce. Buffy is almost over the marrying age and Dawn has yet to begin it. I’m worried about Buffy. She’s 18 now and not one eligible man has taken her fancy,” he said putting his arms around her.

“We promised her she could marry for love. She is still young. Don’t pressure her,” Joyce said a hint of anger in her voice.

“I won’t pressure her. I just want what’s best for her.”

“She will find it in time. For now let’s just relish in both of our daughters living here in our home,” she finished placing a kiss on her husband’s mouth.


*~*
“William? Where are you?”

“I’m over here dad,” William answered from inside the stable.

“Where have you been all day?” his father demanded.

“I was walking with Lady Buffy,” William replied.

William’s father Giles Leslie smiled his anger vanishing; he knew how much William enjoyed his time with Buffy.

“Are you in love with her?” Giles asked.

“Father? Why do you ask?”

“Because you have the same look on your face that I had whenever I thought of your mom,” Giles said as a sad look crossed his features.

“We are friends Father. Not much can happen when I’m not of the same noble blood as she.”

“You never know son. Some things are meant to happen. If you truly love her then it will be.”

Giles ruffled his son’s hair and slapped him lightly on the back before leaving the stables.

William watched his father’s retreating figure walk away and shook his head.

“Aye dad I love her.”

*~*


It was after sunset when Buffy finally pulled herself into her room. She was abuzz with all the feelings she had swirling in her body for William. It didn’t matter to her that he was her stable boy. It didn’t matter to her that he wasn’t an owner of a title or huge lands. It only mattered that he loved her. And she knew he did even though he hadn’t said it.

Buffy didn’t know when her feelings had changed for him. William had always been in her life. He was brought to Summerhaven when he was 6 Buffy was 4 and they became instant friends. Always playing together. She was more a tomboy back then. Playing in the creek and climbing trees. There was nothing William could do that Buffy didn’t and she made sure he knew that.

She knew when William’s feelings for her changed. It was subtle at first. They would lock gazes from across the room, William’s eyes would hold steady with hers until she felt her heart pounding in her chest and a deep blush to taint her cheeks. William would watch her without her knowing it. Standing beneath the balcony to her room, watching her in her window seat as she dragged her silver handled brush through her long locks. Walking through the garden with her little sister Dawn. Running and frolicking her long blond hair glittering in the sunlight, her feet bare.

Buffy smiled and touched her hand to her lips as she thought of their kiss.

My first kiss, she thought a slight blush creeping up her neck. Buffy sat down on her bed when she heard little rocks hitting her balcony doors.

Buffy jumped up and went to the doors and opened them. On her balcony stood William. His platinum hair almost glowing in the clear moonlight. His lean legs molded by the dark blue breeches he wore. His white shirt open at the top revealing his sun bronzed skin underneath.

“Milady,” he said as he handed her a red rose.

Buffy lifted surprised eyes to his face and took the rose. She closed her eyes as she inhaled the delightful scent from the red petals.

“Are you going to invite me in?” William asked.

“Come in William,” she said as she moved out of the way.

William walked in and smiled. He had been in this room many times. They would hide out in here from everyone. They would hide under her great bed and pretend they were the only ones in the world. In her room no one existed except Buffy and William. Buffy placed her rose in a glass vase and turned to face him.

“I’ve heard rumors,” Buffy stated as she sat down on the bed.

“Oh?” William asked as he took his place next to Buffy.

“I heard that you may be asked to join the Harris’s household. They are known for their champion horses and are looking for a good stable hand. They have heard of your work with the horses and were here speaking to my father about it,” Buffy said looking down at her clasped hands in her lap.

“I won’t go Buffy,” he replied quietly.

“William its such a good opportunity for you,” Buffy started tears gathering in her eyes.

William placed his hand on her cheek and forced her to meet his gaze.

“I’ll never leave you,” he said as he lips touched hers. Buffy melted into his kiss her hands finding their way to his neck, pulling him closer to her.

William groaned against her mouth and wound his hands around her waist. He deepened the kiss licking the seal of her lips with his tongue begging for entrance into her mouth. She complied and sighed as she felt his tongue slide along hers. Her pulse beat wildly under his tongue as he kissed down her neck.

Buffy threw her head back and clutched his shoulders. William laid her back against the embroidered pillows all the while never breaking contact of his mouth on her hot skin. His hands made their way up the bodice of her gown. Slowly he undid the buttons that held it together releasing her young breasts. Gently he drew the sides of the cream colored bodice she wore apart. He lifted his head from her neck to stare at her rosy nipples. Tilting his head to look at her he touched her bare breast with his hand. Buffy moaned underneath him. Arching her back, she pressed herself harder against his questioning hand.

William looked up at Buffy with heavy lidded eyes. She returned the gaze through her own passion filled eyes. Slowly William lowered his mouth to her breast. He kissed her tenderly before sucking her rosy nipple into his mouth. Buffy cried out and gripped his shoulders tighter as he made love to her breasts with his tongue.

William nudged Buffy’s legs apart with his knee. Buffy willingly moved them, her legs on either side of him. William continued to lavish her breasts with his mouth. Buffy felt a deep longing within her body. She didn’t know what it was. Without notice one of William’s hands found itself between her parted thighs. Buffy almost bolted up when she felt that hand lifting her cream colored skirt up. He reached beneath the layers of cotton and silk to find himself at her soaked drawers.

“Buffy? Do you want me to stop?” he asked as his hand lingered over her.

Buffy nodded her head in the negative.

“No William don’t stop. I know you won’t hurt me.”

“Buffy? Do you want me to stop?” he asked as his hand lingered over her.

Buffy nodded her head in the negative.

“No William don’t stop. I know you won’t hurt me.”

William held her gaze as his fingers found their way into her soft folds. Buffy jumped as she felt his finger find its way to her core. Slowly he rubbed his single digit against her opening. Buffy started to pant, an urgency started deep within her. She wanted more, needed more.

Her hips bucked of their own accord. William circled his thumb around her swollen nub as his finger wedged itself inside her tightness.

“Ohh William,” she moaned her hands clutching his head and dragging his mouth back to hers. William’s lips closed over hers with fierce abandon. His mouth telling her what words could not. She melted against him. Heaven was calling and she was answering.

William tore his mouth away from hers and kissed a trail down to her breasts. He circled each nipple with his tongue as his body moved him lower still. Looking up at her she found him in between her spread thighs.

“Will? What? Ohhhhh,” she moaned as he lowered his mouth to her quivering flesh. William flicked his tongue against her engorged clit encouraging another flood of her sweet nectar to flow. Buffy moaned beneath his expert tongue. She was flying. The tension was building inside her. She felt like she was going to explode.

“Oh god William,” she whimpered as she reached her peak. Buffy grabbed onto his hair and held him in between her legs. She saw stars of all different colors swirling around her. Her body jumping at every touch of William’s tongue. William rode out her orgasm and finally lifted his face from her trembling thighs.

He was on his way to kiss her again when there was a knock at her door.

“Buffy? Buffy are you ok in there?” Her mother asked from behind the locked door.

“I’m fine Mother,” Buffy said as she and William jumped up.

William gave her a quick kiss before heading out the French doors to her balcony. Turning and looking at her again he blew her a kiss and crawled down the trellis running into the night.

“Oh ok then. Goodnight sweetheart.”

Buffy stood at the door until she could not hear her mother’s footsteps anymore. Turning she ran to the balcony and peered out. William stood beneath the tall oak tree in the garden. Sensing her he looked up and their gazes caught.

Slowly a smile spread over his face and he tilted his head. Buffy couldn’t help it and smiled back.

I love you, Buffy wanted to shout.
I love you, William thought as he turned and walked away.


*~*


Buffy walked quietly through Summerhaven’s gardens. She was smiling. Her hair illuminated by the sun making it appear to be molten gold flowing down her back. Her eyes were wide and fascinated with her surroundings. A light breeze scented with the variety of fragarant flowers made her light green skirt swirling around her ankles.

Buffy smiled and touched her hand to her lips remembering the feel of William’s mouth on hers.

She took great care in her appearance today wearing his favorite dress of pale green silk. The bodice was tight and had a square edging filled with lace which pushed her pert breasts up. The skirt was ankle length and flowing also edged in the same cream colored lace. The sleeves were elbow length and ended with tiny seed pearls around the cuff.

Another hard breeze blew past and Buffy had to put her hand on her head to keep the straw hat she had on from blowing away. Walking over to her favorite rose bush she bent to smell their fragrance. As she bent down she heard voices. Curiosity was one of her downfalls and she stepped on the cobblestone bench and looked over the ivy covered hedge.

There in the shadows of the barn was William. He was leaning casually against the wall talking to Molly, one of the chamber maids. Molly was practically on top of him. She smiled flirtatiously at William and ran her finger up and down one of his sun-bronzed arms. William smiled back and kissed Molly on the cheek.

Buffy was enraged.

‘How dare he!’ she thought angrily. She was so consumed in her anger that she didn’t notice part of the bench she was standing on was about to crumble. As she stepped on the bad part the stones gave way. Buffy let out a blood curdling scream and fell.

William jumped when he heard Buffy’s shriek. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye to Molly as he raced through the gardens looking for Buffy. His heart was pounding.
His only thought, Please God let Buffy be ok.

As he rounded the hedge he saw Buffy on the ground in a crumbled heap of green silk. As if in slow motion William ran to her, dropping to his knees and cradling her body in his lap.

“Buffy? BUFFY?” he practically screamed into her face.

Wha?…..What?” she asked as she opened her eyes revealing her green depths.

“Are you ok? Are you hurt? Is anything broken?” He questioned breathlessly as his hands ran over her body looking for bruises and broken bones.

Buffy who was rather enjoying William’s frenzied attention whimpered. “Where does it hurt? How did you fall? My god are you ok?”

Buffy smiled up at William and then scowled remembering how she fell in the first place.

“I’m fine,” she grumbled sitting up and pushing him away from her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked touching her shoulder.

“I was here in the garden and I heard your voice so I stood on the bench to see you over the hedge.”

William nodded as she pointed to the cobblestone bench.

“That’s when I saw you,” she said pointedly.

“What do you mean you saw me?” He asked trying not to blush.

“I saw you with Molly,” Buffy gruffed.

“Awe Buffy it was nothing. She cornered me,” William said sheepishly.

“She cornered you huh? It didn’t look like you were too upset about it,” She said getting to her feet.

“Buffy…” William started.

“I know you are more experienced then me. I know you have been with other girls. But William I want you. I wanted to be your first. I l…”

“Don’t,” he said as he got up and placed a finger on her lips.

“Don’t what?” she whispered grazing her finger with her lips. Looking straight into his eyes as she opened her mouth and sucked his finger inside.

William almost moaned aloud at the feel of her hot mouth and at the passionate way she was looking at him.

“Buffy stop,” he whispered not trying to remove his finger.

“No.”

“Buffy stop,” he whispered not trying to remove his finger.

“No.”

William looked in Buffy’s eyes and understood her need. With much effort he finally pulled his finger from her mouth. Buffy sighed impatiently.

“We can’t do this here,” he said breaking their gaze and casting a watchful eye around.

Buffy didn’t care if they were seen. She closed the distance between them and pressed her body against his. William groaned low in his throat almost giving into what she offered.

“Buffy please,” he begged putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing himself to a safer distance.

“Fine!” she huffed, turning her heel and running away.

Her ankle hurt from when she fell but she didn’t care, she kept running. Angrily she wiped the rush of tears flowing down her face. She started to slow down when she reached the edge of the trees. She leaned her face against a tall tree and cried. Her body was flooding with emotions she had no idea how to control. She turned slightly so her back was against the large trunk and stared out into the rush of water from the creek.

The blue water bubbled and gurgled invitingly, the smooth stones gleaming in the late afternoon light. Buffy wiped at her face again and walked down the bank near the water. Lifting her skirts she sat down and took off her green kid shoes. She hesitantly put her ivory toes in the cool water. She sighed contently thankful she hadn’t worn her garters and stockings today.

Buffy laid back in the grass her toes still in the water. Her body was still aflame. She tried to calm herself down thinking of everything but William. Angel the lord of McNevel’s Port with his pock marked face and his leering smile. Buffy laughed to herself confident that that had worked. She closed her eyes against the sun and smiled again loving the way the setting sun felt on her skin.

She was getting warmed through and through when a large black shadow covered her cooling her sun soaked body.

“What?” she questioned tentatively opening her eyes.

William stood over her. His face was red and he was panting as if he had run for miles.

“What do you want?” Buffy spat out as she sat up.

“Buffy please. You have to listen to me,” William said sitting down next to her.

“Too late for that,” she replied gathering her shoes and starting to put them on.

With a fast hand William grabbed her shoes and flung them. Buffy turned incredulous eyes on him.

“Now why in blazes did you do that?” She demanded standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

“I want you to listen to me. I need you to stand here and not be able to run away.”

“Sure throw away a woman’s shoes and expect them to WANT to speak with you,” she replied with a toss of her hair.

“Buffy,” he said walking to her and grabbing her shoulders. His blue eyes bore into her green ones. She knew she could melt in his gaze and willed herself not to.

“I thought you said all you had to say,” she said a little breathlessly hoping to God that William didn’t hear it in her voice.

“There’s soo many things I want to say. So many thoughts and actions I need to speak. But I can’t, you can’t. We can’t do this,” he gruffed squeezing her shoulders almost to the point of pain.

“I love you.”

Upon hearing those words William pushed her away from him.

“I love you William Leslie.”

“No. No. Stop saying that,” he said raking a hand through his hair and refusing to look at his blond haired beauty.

Buffy moved back to him, her feet crunching slightly from the leaves and twigs on the forest floor. She forced his eyes to meet hers. Her hand lifted and rubbed itself against his soft cheek, burning him with her touch.

“I love you. You are the first thing I think of when I awaken and you are the last thing I think of when I fall asleep. My thoughts are always clouded with images of you. You are my half William. The other half that makes me whole,” She breathed.

William couldn’t help himself as he crushed his lips to hers. Her next words muffled in his mouth. She sighed contently and wound her arms around his neck. William groaned as he felt Buffy give herself to him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her middle and lifted her, her legs around his waist.

She felt the pulse of his hardened manhood through her drawers hidden tight within his breeches. William moved his hand up kneading her back with his strong fingers to her neck, pulling her mouth harder against his. He opened his mouth slightly and was surprised when hers opened as well, their tongues dancing a sensual dance within their hot caves.

William backed them up against the same tree Buffy had been crying on earlier. He pressed her back into the smooth bark as his lips left a trail of fire down from her mouth to her neck. His mouth found her pulse beating strong and fast and latched itself to her vein sucking softly.

Buffy put her face down and moaned in his hair. William pressed her harder against the tree and raised his hands to her breasts. He unbuttoned the cream colored buttons spilling her breasts out into his waiting hands. Buffy whimpered as his hot mouth covered her rosy nipple.

William opened his clear blue eyes and stared at her while he teased her nipple with his mouth, tongue and teeth. Buffy wove her fingers through his hair, her nails slightly scraping his scalp. Unconsciously she rubbed herself against him, the hard outline of his cock straining even harder as she bounced against him.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” William breathed against her silky soft breasts.

Buffy responded by pulling his mouth roughly to hers and proceeded to kiss the very soul out of him.

‘Ahh but what a way to die,” he thought as he sucked on her bottom lip.

Buffy plundered William’s mouth with her kisses, their tongues dueled and danced. Both broke away breathlessly, their foreheads touching.

“We should stop,” William said trying to make himself get some control.

“No we shouldn’t,” She rebelled.

William pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“You do know what you are saying right?”

“Yes William. I want you. I want you to love me. Love me William,” Buffy breathed.

“God Buffy I love you,” He said as he kissed her again. This time it was slow and tender, his mouth moving languidly against hers. William’s hands explored her body coming to rest on her hips. He moved them slowly towards the apex of her thighs where her dress was gathered in a bundle.

Nimbly he moved her skirts to the side and slid his hands up the smooth curves of her thighs. His fingers brushed against the sides of her soaked drawers causing her to moan in his mouth. William found the part in her under garment and ripped them from her body.

Buffy gasped and continued kissing him as he threw her drawers to the side. With time stopping slowness William finally eased his fingers onto her dripping cleft. His fingers slid up and down her slit gathering her wetness before pausing at her pleasure point. Gently he flicked her nub with his thumb. Buffy cried out and jerked against him, a tiny orgasm flowing through her body.

(Sorry for the shortness of this chapter!)

William worked a slim finger inside her silky heat and groaned at how tight she was. Carefully he stretched her slick walls to prepare her for his body. Buffy moaned and writhed against his fingers, desperate to get more of him inside her.

William’s pants had become intolerably tight with how excited he was for her. Buffy was panting and mumbling incoherently as William undid the ties that held his breeches on, shifting Buffy he tugged his pants down.

Buffy felt his hard manhood on the entrance to her body. He rubbed himself against her coating himself with her moisture to ease his passage. William placed his hands on her hips and aimed his shaft at her dripping core.

Slowly he pressed up as Buffy pressed down, impaling herself on his body. She gasped at the sharp pain that presented itself. Her body felt as though it had been ripped in two.

“The pain only lasts a minute. Tell me when it subsides,” he said soothingly as he rained kisses on her face. Buffy fought the urge to lift herself off of him and run away. She clung to his shoulders, her nails leaving little half moon marks through his shirt. William wildly kissed her face as his fingers brushed against her nub.

“More,” she whispered against his mouth as he started to move inside her, his fingers never stopping their attack on her tiny bundle of nerves.

The pain had gone and left behind was a delicious feeling, one that Buffy could not put into words. Her body felt tight and full but also exquisite. William was careful as he thrust his body in and out of her. He didn’t want to cause her any more pain. Her body was as tight as a glove and clung to him as he thrust out. His control was almost to the point of shattering when he felt Buffy move to meet his thrusts.

He groaned against her throat, his fingers still rubbing circles around her throbbing clit. Buffy whimpered against him and moved harder. William’s other hand was clamped on her hip, his fingertips leaving bruises on her skin. He pressed her harder against the tree, thankful that the tree was a Eucalyptus who’s bark was smooth. His knees started to ache from the angle he was pounding against her but he didn’t care. All that was going through is mind was how hot and tight his beautiful Buffy was.

“Oh God William,” she breathed in his ear as she tightened her inner muscles against him. There was a tightening in her stomach, a feeling that something was building.

“Buffy….Buffy….My Buffy..” he moaned possessively against her neck as he thrust harder against her.

“William!!” She cried as she exploded in her orgasm. She saw fireworks going off in her brain and stars floating in front of her eyes. She clamped down harder on him signally his own orgasm. With a grunt and a tug of her hair he came, shooting his seed inside her willing body.

They stayed locked together for some time. Clinging to each other as if they were afraid to ever let go.

“I love you Buffy,” he whispered against her neck, his hands in her hair.

“I love you,” she replied holding him tighter against her.

“I don’t want to let you go,” William groaned his lips grazing her sensitive skin.

“Then don’t,” she replied kissing him again.

*~*

It was well past dark as Buffy tiptoed through her house. It was very quiet, all the servants and her family seemed to be in bed or in other parts of the house. Buffy walked past the polished looking glass and stopped. She stepped closer eyeing her reflection. Her hair was all mussed, her lips red and puffy looking like bees had stung them. Her face was flushed and her eyes were bright.

Buffy smiled as she tried to smooth down her hair. She took another glance at herself and walked up the stairs to her room. She opened her door quietly and saw that there was a fire burning brightly in the fireplace.

Buffy wanted to cry and laugh at the same time; she was so happily in love. Instead she grabbed her favorite stuffed pig Mr. Gordo and spun in a circle in the large expanse of her bedroom. Her long hair flew around her, tears of happiness falling down her face. She touched her fingertips to her lips and kissed them, remembering what it was like to have William’s mouth against hers.

She flung herself backward on her bed, her hand still on her mouth. She sighed loudly and rolled on her side, her stomach full of butterflies as she thought of William’s hands on her body. She sighed again and jumped when she heard a knock at her door.


”Buffy you ok in there?” Joyce asked from outside the door.

Buffy let out a little sigh and ran to the door.

“I was just getting ready for bed,” Buffy told her mom as she started to remove her gown and getting out a fresh chemise.

“I thought something was wrong. I heard you making funny noises.”

Buffy blushed and turned her back.

“I was having a hard time with these buttons. I’m sorry to have alerted you.”

“Not a bother dear. I’m your mother after all,” Joyce said walking over to her daughter and touching her shoulder.

Buffy turned and looked into her mother’s smiling face.

“Goodnight sweetie,” Joyce kissed Buffy’s forehead and headed for the door. Upon reaching the doorknob she turned around and smiled.

“What?” Buffy asked confused by the smile her mother wore.

“Nothing I’m just happy,” Joyce said.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders and strode over to her dressing table.

Sitting down on her cushioned chair she grabbed her brush and started to brush her hair as her mother shut the door.

“You’re in love.” Her mother stated.

“What?” Buffy squeaked, looking at her mom in the mirror.

“Is it William?” her mother asked meeting Buffy’s eyes in the smooth silver.

Buffy didn’t answer she just stared at her mom. Buffy knew she was blushing and knew she should deny her feelings but didn’t.

“Aye its William,” she replied awaiting her mother’s reaction.

Joyce knew in her heart of hearts that it was true.

“You know he isn’t of noble blood. He is a simple stable boy.”

“I care not what he is or if he has a title. I love him.”

“I’m very fond of William. I know he loves you. It’s as plain as the day is long. Does he want to marry you?” Joyce asked turning Buffy around and kneeling in front of her.

“We haven’t really discussed it. He knows he isn’t the man father would choose for me. He thinks we have no future,” Buffy said as tears started to form in her eyes.

“He may be right. You know how your father is,” Joyce mused reaching over to smooth Buffy’s hair.

“Do you want to marry William?”

“Oh yes Mother I do. I love William with my entire heart and soul. He is my world.”

“Let me talk to you father and see what I can do. I’m not promising anything. You know how stubborn your father is,” Joyce said thoughtfully.

“Really mother? You will talk to father?” Buffy turned hopeful eyes on her mother.

“I will try dear.”

Joyce made good on her promise to her daughter. The next afternoon Joyce found herself in her husband’s library. She knew it was going to be difficult but didn’t think Hank would totally reject what she was saying.

“There is absolutely no way I’m going to let that…that servant be with my daughter!” Hank roared as he went to his liquor cabinet.

It wasn’t a good sign when Hank would turn to liquor for comfort.

Joyce walked to him and put her hand on his shoulder as he poured himself a healthy shot of scotch.

“We promised her she could marry for love. William is a wonderful boy and he loves her and she loves him. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t a man of title or his family is wealthy beyond all means….”

“Yes it does! Damn it, Buffy is the daughter of the Earl of Summerhaven she doesn’t get to marry someone who is beneath her,” he yelled as he threw back his head and downed his shot.

“I think you are being very arrogant in your thinking. William is an excellent choice for Buffy. Get off your pompous ass and get over the fact he doesn’t have a title,” Joyce chided as she placed her hands on her hips.

“And you are right. You are the Earl of Summerhaven, you can give him a title and his own lands.”

Hank almost choked on his scotch.

“Give him his own lands? Are you out of your mind?”

“What is wrong with you? Are you that much of a snob? Your daughter loves him. I thought that would be enough. But instead all you care about is your precious reputation. Did it ever occur to you that everyone follows what you say? That you lead by example,” Joyce yelled, her anger radiating off her body.

She looked him straight in the eye disgusted that she had married such a jerk. She shot him a dirty look and turned her heel, her yellow skirt swishing around her.

She stopped when she reached the door and turned to him.

“I remember when you asked my father if you could marry me. You were hardly a man of wealth. You had a title yes but your family was poor. I can’t believe I would ever see the day you would pass judgment on someone else who is almost in the same predicament.”

With that she opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

Please God; help Hank realize the wrongness of his way of thinking before he does something he will regret, She thought as she raised her eyes heavenward.

*~*

“I love this,” William said, Buffy tucked firmly in his grasp. They were leaning against their tree watching the sun play with the water in the creek. He ran his hands through her long blond hair and kissed her forehead.

“Me too,” She sighed snuggling closer to him. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, marking his scent on her person.

They had been in their own intimate world for a little over a month. They continually stole time together, sneaking off into their wooded area to be alone.

Buffy sighed again, delicious tingles running up and down her spine. William had made love to her several times since he had taken her virtue. He had taken her by the lake while the sun shone and the birds sang, in the stables amongst the hay and neighing horses, in the rose garden surrounded by the scent of blooming flowers.

“I want to marry you,” William said, his voice breaking through her reverie. Buffy pulled back and looked into his clear blue eyes.

“You want to marry me?”

“You want to marry me?”

“Is there something wrong with your ears?” he asked playfully.

Buffy slapped him against his chest and smiled.

“There’s nothing wrong with my pretty ears. I just want to make sure I heard you right.”

William smiled back and her and got on his knee. He held her left hand in his and looked up into her shining eyes.

“Buffy, we have known each other all our lives. I have never met a woman like you before. I love you with my entire being and with my entire soul. In my heart I know you are my other half. With you I am whole. I can’t imagine life without you. Will you make an honest man out of me and become my wife?”

Buffy blinked, trying to hold back tears and she sunk to her knees before him. He reached his sun-bronzed hand up to her face and wiped her tears away.

“Yes William I will marry you,” She whispered against his palm.

William gave a shout of yes and kissed her, his mouth cruising possessively against hers.

*~*

Buffy knew she was in trouble the minute her father’s loud voice rumbled her name through the halls. Standing she breathed deep and smoothed her skirt down. She opened the library door carefully and walked inside. Her father sat at his desk in a big leather backed chair. He had his back to her and was looking out the window.

“Buffy please sit down,” he said without turning around.

Buffy fought the urge to gulp and sat down smoothing her skirts as she did so. Her father chose that moment to turn and look at her, his cold blue eyes full of hate and disdain. Buffy almost recoiled from the shock at the depth of hatred his eyes showed.

They had never been overly close and she knew he had some distaste towards her but to see the actual hate resonate in his gaze was un-nerving.

“Your mother has told me some interesting news. Apparently you and the stable boy are in love,” he grumbled.

Buffy didn’t say anything, just continued to look at him.

“You do know I could and would never agree to a marriage with a man who is beneath you. You are better then he is. I will not allow you to make an ass out of me,” he yelled slamming his fist on the hard wood of the desk.

“He is not beneath me father. And yes I do love him. He is everything to me,” she practically yelled as she stood up.

“You will not marry this boy. I have already arranged that he be sent from Summerhaven.”

Buffy gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

“Where are you sending him?”

Hank laughed, a dry mocking laugh.

“What and risk the chance of having you run off to be with him? I am sending him to Mary’s land to become a stable hand of a wealthy family over there.”

“That’s not good enough,” she said, her voice full of anger.

“What do you mean its not good enough? He’s lucky he is getting the chance that I am giving him.”

Buffy stared at him her body tight and rigid. Her hands balled into fists at her sides. Buffy was so filled with hatred that she started to shake.

“Has he taken your virtue?” Hank asked her his body and stance in equal proportions to hers.

Buffy rose her head defiantly. “Yes he has.”

Hank walked over to her and slapped her hard across her face.

“Spread your dainty legs for anything, even the lowest of servants,” He stated walking in a circle around her.

Buffy’s head whipped back and she tasted blood in her mouth.

“I am with child,” she rose her face even higher trying to show him she wasn’t afraid of him.

Hank stopped his circling and stared at her as if the thought had not occurred to him.

“I can make you get rid of it if you were,” he said coldly.

“Not if you don’t want anyone to know your oldest daughter had been with the stable boy you won’t. I’ll tell anyone I come in contact with,” she said raising her eyes to his.

“What is it that you want darling?” his voice dripping venom.

“I want him as more then a stable hand. Secure him a position as an apprentice.”

“What are you going to do in return? I can’t secure him a spot if he is just going to run back to you. He will be leaving tomorrow morning.”

“I will make sure he doesn’t. He won’t leave unless I tell him to,” she said trying not to betray her strength in front of the man they called her father.

“He will be placed on the ‘Forsaken Aerial’ first thing on the morrow. Make sure he is on that boat,” Hank said signally that she could leave now.

Buffy squared her shoulders and stiffly walked out the door and up the stairs to her room. Only then did she shut door and slump against it crying out her frustration for her love.

Special thanks to SpikesKat for helping me out with this. Thank you KittyKat!!!


Buffy made a decision before William climbed the trellis to her room that she wouldn’t tell him of the baby. It would only make him want to stay with her and she couldn’t let him as much as she wanted to. Buffy wiped at the tears that started to stream down her face.

She heard pebbles hitting her glass doors and scrubbed at her face so he wouldn’t see that she had been crying.
She dragged her sleeve across her face once more and opened the doors. William stood there looking haggard. She didn’t notice it before but it was pouring outside. He was soaked to the skin. His clothes hung, stuck to his body, his face pale. His usual curls hanging in long straight tendrils around his face.

Buffy held a tremble within and silently told herself she could do this.

“William,” she nodded and swept to the side to allow him access to her room.

William said nothing and walked in, water falling as droplets onto the hard wood floor.

“I saw your father this afternoon,” he said gruffly not looking at her.

Buffy turned away from him and wrung her hands together.

“He is sending me away.”

“I know. It’s for the best really. You don’t belong here. You deserve better,” she said looking at his face. William’s clear blue eyes met hers and she had to turn away from the intensity in his gaze.

“I belong with you,” he said grabbing her arm and yanking her against his body.

“William..”

“Tell me to stay Buffy. I’ll go anywhere you ask. I won’t leave unless you ask me too. I’ll come back. No one can keep us apart,” he said desperately holding onto her, his grip becoming painful.

Buffy laughed a dry laugh and wrenched herself away from William’s embrace.

“William go. I don’t want you here. What we had was nothing. This love you thought I felt for you was nothing. Twas not but a bit of practice. I am now ready for an real man now.”

“Buffy I love you,” William said defeated.

Buffy looked at him one last time, trying to memorize everything about his face, his hair, his body. She knew if he touched her again she would crumble and beg him to stay.

“Go William. I don’t want you, you are beneath me,” she said cruelly.

William’s eyes widened with shock making Buffy cast her gaze downward. She balled her hands into fists, her nails leaving little welts in her palms and silently begged him to leave. When she looked up again he was gone.

Buffy crumbled to the floor in a heap of brocade and tears. She wept bitterly, her tears her only voice of her heart breaking. She wanted to run after him and beg him to stay but knew her father would make that impossible. She got up and ran to her balcony in time to see his retreating back fade into the shadows.

“William! I love you!” she whimpered when she couldn’t see him anymore.

*~*

It had been a little over a month since William left and Buffy was still a mess. She was undoubtedly with child. She would cry at the drop of a hat and hid herself in her room. She couldn’t be consoled and refused everyone. She was barely eating, the food promptly being brought back up by her grief.

Her father had glossed over her attitude and her demeanor making it look like she was a spoilt brat. Her mother tried to comfort her but knew her presence wasn’t wanted. Even Dawn tried to be there but Buffy wanted to be alone. She hadn’t left her bedroom since William left Summerhaven.

She would huddle in her window seat overlooking the garden and dream of all the times they played in the maze of hedges and flowers. She would sigh longingly when she peered near the stables. She sat there and dreamed of their child growing within her. She would pat her belly and tell it all about it’s father. What a great man he was and how he would always love them even if he wasn’t able to be there.

It would always make her break down miserably and she would cry with heartbreaking sobs that shook her body.
She was sitting in her window seat when a piece of paper was pushed underneath the door to her room. Buffy turned when she heard the rustle of the paper scrape across the floor.

“What is that?” She said aloud as she got up and walked over to the door.

On the outside of the paper it said ‘Milady Buffy’. Buffy bent down and picked it up. She fingered the paper gingerly and opened it.

Mistress Buffy,

I write this with the most caring of hearts. I know you are heartsick and inside I know you didn’t want William to leave. I know you have always done what is best for him. I also know how very much you love him.

I wanted to let you know that I have received word from him this very day. I wanted you to be the first to know. If you would meet me in the stables later I would gladly share the news with you.

Your ever faithful servant,

Giles Leslie


Buffy read and re-read the slip of paper in front of her. She didn’t even realize she was crying until her tears fell onto the paper smudging the ink. Her hands started to shake and her face felt hot.

“I need to know how he is,” she said as she flung open her door and raced out into the hall. She was running so fast that she tripped over her long skirt and fell down the stairs leading into the main entrance hall.

Her frightened scream echoed through the house as she tumbled headfirst down the flight of stairs, the sound of her shriek being cut off as she landed in a bundle at the bottom of the stairs.

“William,” she whimpered just before darkness overcame her.

10 Years Later

“Buffy, I don’t think I can do this,” Dawn said nervously while wringing her hands together.

“Of course you can, sweetie. Nothing to worry about. As soon as you hear the music just open the door and float down the stairs. There’s nothing to it,” Buffy replied as she smoothed the puffy silk skirt of Dawn’s emerald green dress.

“Nothing to worry about? NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT? I could fall down the stairs and land on my bottom in front of the whole society and that’s no big deal?” Dawn yelled dramatically as she threw her hands in the air.
“Dawn. It’s not that bad. You will do fine.”

“Ugh. Why do I have to do this? Do I really have to do this?”

“Dawn, calm down. This isn’t really a big deal. You have been to coming out balls before. The only difference is this one happens to be for you. You know how it’s done. Now just relax.”

Buffy lightly grasped Dawn’s arm as she cupped her sister’s cheek. Buffy knew this was nerve-wracking for Dawn and wished there was more she could do besides give comforting words that were obviously not comforting her.

Dawn took a deep breath and looked her sister in the eye.

“You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just my nerves are going wonky.” Dawn turned towards the mirror and smoothed her hair. “Do I look alright?”

“You look beautiful. Mom would have been proud,” Buffy said as she and Dawn locked eyes in the mirror.

Dawn’s eyes filled with unshed tears as she turned and engulfed Buffy in a hug.

“Come on, Dawn. It’s showtime,” Buffy reminded her, pulling back and wiped the tears from Dawn’s face.

Dawn took another deep, steadying breath and checked her appearance in the mirror.

“Thanks, Buffy. You are the best sister a girl could have.” Dawn smiled and opening the door just as the waltz started.

*~*

“Are you ok?” Willow asked Buffy as the two stood off to the side watching Buffy’s sister dance with Chad Masters, Marquis of Meadowland.

“Yeah…I was just thinking how proud mom would have been of her,” Buffy replied as she watched her sister laugh heartily at something the Marquis whispered to her.

“She would have been proud of you too, Buffy. You have really pulled through since she died.” Willow touched Buffy’s arm and smiled at her.

“Thank you, Willow.” Buffy smiled back at her friend. The two had become fast friends 10 years ago when the Rosenberg family had moved to the neighboring estate, Wildwood Park. Buffy had just suffered the loss of her and William’s child and had fallen in a deep depression. It had hurt Joyce beyond words to see her daughter this way and she had sought out Willow to befriend Buffy to try and take away some of her daughter’s heartache.

Buffy’s father had finally succumbed to the alcohol having died 5 years earlier from excessive drinking. The Summers girls had had another tragedy as their mother passed also, having died not 9 months after the late earl. Joyce had become pregnant right before their father had died and during childbirth had suffered complications that had resulted in the death of her and her unborn child.

Buffy and Dawn were devastated. It took both of them a long time to get over the fact that they were now orphans. Dawn really should have had her coming out party much earlier but with the death of their parents it just hadn’t seemed that important.

“I think it’s really fantastic that Xander is hosting her coming out party,” Willow commented, scanning the area for her friend.

“Yes it is. He has really been there for me and my sister,” Buffy replied as she grabbed a goblet of chilled wine from one of the waiters.

Alexander Harris had come to Summerhaven after Buffy’s mom had passed to pass along his condolences. Since then, Buffy, Willow, and Xander - as he preferred to be called - were inseparable. Xander had pretty much adopted the Summers’ girls and Willow. He was quite protective of all three of them, almost like an older brother.

“I think half the reason he is also hosting this party is for you and I to find husbands. You’d think he was our father or something,” Buffy laughed.

“My god…you are right. All he talks about is how we should be married with armloads of children at our feet.”

“We should call him Father Xander,” Buffy laughed, soon followed by Willow.

“Father Xander, I kinda like that name. Although my many female admirers will think I’m a man of the cloth, so maybe that isn’t really of the good,” Xander mused, his hand resting over his heart as he walked up behind them.

Both women turned toward the sound of Xander’s voice.

“You’re right… it really isn’t,” Buffy replied. “Thank you for this, Xander. It means a lot to me and Dawn that you did this for us.”

“Aww… Buffy. Anything for my girls. My god, how beautiful you both look. If I wasn’t like a brother I would….” He joked as he grasped Buffy’s hand and brought it to his lips and kissing it.

Buffy and Willow laughed and smacked him lightly on the chest. As Buffy went to smack him again she felt a prickling on the back of her neck. She turned around slowly just in time to see two men walk into the main ballroom. One man was shorter than the other with a shock of red hair topping his head. He was wearing a navy blue velvet coat with matching breeches. He stopped and ran his hand through his flaming locks, his eyes scanning the ballroom.

The other man walked in behind the red-haired man. He also was scanning the crowd. He had platinum-blond locks that were tied back with a little black ribbon at the nape of his neck. His crisp white shirt contrasted sharply against the jet-black jacket and breeches the man wore.

Buffy couldn’t help it as she stared at the man. He was gorgeous and yet seemed oddly familiar. She couldn’t put her finger on it but, her body told her she knew him…or of him at least. She gasped aloud as the man’s eyes landed right on her. She felt her face start to blush at the depth of the man’s gaze. It seemed as though he could see right through her. He stared at her a minute more before turning to his male companion.

Buffy blushed furiously and tried to calm her racing heart.

“Are you ok, Buffy?” Willow asked as she glanced at her friend’s reddened face.

“What? Oh… yes, I’m fine. I think I just need some air,” she answered absently. She managed a weak smile and turned towards the double French doors that would take her to Wintercrest’s gardens.

*~*

“You alright?”

Spike turned towards his red-haired companion.

“Yeah, mate. I’m bloody fantastic,” he replied.

“Well, look like it because the host is headed our way.”

“Oz, man, how are you? It’s been years,” Xander said clasping Oz’s hand in his own.

“That it has, Xander. I’ve been well. Traveling around Mary’s Land for the most part. How are you?” Oz smiled.

“I’ve been well. My horses are well-known throughout the region. You happen to be looking at the most successful horse breeder on this side of the world,” Xander said proudly.

“That’s great, man.” Oz clapped Xander on the back. Xander smiled and looked to Oz’s companion.

“I’m sorry. This is Spike Leslie.”

“Welcome, Lord Spike,” Xander replied warmly extending his hand in greeting.

“Thank you, Lord Xander. Nice place you have here,” Spike said grasping Xander’s hand and shaking it.

“Have we met before? You look very familiar to me,” Xander asked looking Spike in the eye.

“I believe I knew your father. Your family had once asked me to join your horse breeding business as the horse handler.”

“William?”

Spike nodded. “I go by Spike now.”

Xander looked him over again as warning bells went off in his head. He knew who William/Spike was and he knew that this would upset Buffy.

“How have you been? It’s been what….”

“10 years,” Spike supplied.

“What happened to you?” Xander asked him finally releasing his hand.

“I went to Mary’s Land, made myself a name and a life. Oz and I are here to better our business, to see if we could make some alliances here.”

“In Mary’s Land, Spike is well-known for our booming business deals and is rich beyond his means,” Oz added.

“That’s fantastic. I hope you all will be staying for some time so you can tell me all about your success,” Xander said dipping his head. “But for now, I need to attend to my guests. I hope to speak with you both later on.”

Both men watched Xander walk away.

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” Oz asked Spike.

Spike shook his head. “It’s not society I’m worried about. It’s Lady Buffy.”

*~*

Buffy walked out into the night and shivered. She was glad she had grabbed her cloak as she closed the little frog clasps, the velvet of the cloak warming her immediately.

She followed the cobblestone path that led her to the rose area, their fragrant petals perfuming the air around her. Buffy stopped and bent to smell a red rose, the dew on its petals gleaming in the moonlight.

She fingered the petals, marveling at their softness. She closed her eyes, and the blond haired man flashed in her mind. He looked so familiar. The hungry look he had given her, as if he wanted to eat her alive right in front of everyone. She opened her eyes and glanced at the red rose she was still fingering and closed her eyes again. This time it was William who flashed in her mind. William standing on her balcony, looking at her sheepishly as he handed her a red rose.

“William…” Buffy sighed.

“I haven’t been called that in a very long time,” a voice behind her said.

Buffy gasped and spun around.

“William…” she whispered.

“William is dead. I’m Spike now.”

Buffy couldn’t move. All she could do was stare at him. She longed to touch him, to run her lips along his jaw line.

“Buffy...” he breathed, his cerulean blue eyes scanning over her form. “You haven’t changed a bit. In fact I think you have gotten more beautiful.”

“Your words humble me. Are you certain your eyes are ok? Do you wear glasses now?” Buffy asked/joked.

“Always was a funny one. Can’t tell if you are insulting me or yourself.”

“Neither, kind sir,” Buffy replied casting her eyes down. She reached out to touch the rose bush absently and caught one of the thorns on her fingers.

“Ouch!” Buffy said bringing the finger to her lips. Spike watched as she sucked the finger deep within her mouth. His eyes mesmerized by the shell pink of her soft lips.

“Let me see,” he commanded reaching out and grabbing her hand. He brought her hand to his face and saw another tiny pearl of blood form on her finger. He looked her in the eye and brought her finger to his mouth. He kissed her finger gently as he held her hand in both of his.

“All better,” he said, smiling as he turned her hand over and kissed her palm.

Buffy stood in a semi-trance. Her gaze was locked with his. Her hand warm within his. Her heart pounded in her chest, threatening to break through. She felt a faint tingling in her nether regions when his warm mouth kissed her palm.

“Thank you, sir,” she said pulling her hand from his grasp. Buffy backed up to hurry away when Spike grabbed her shoulder.

“Don’t leave, Buffy...” he pleaded. Buffy turned back and looked in his face.

“Why not?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“We have some things we need to talk about.” His grip on her shoulder tightened before he dragged her to him. He cupped her cheek with his hand and forced her to meet his eyes. She tried to back away from him, but he followed her until her back was up against the hard edge of the garden wall. She was caught between his body and the wall. She looked into the blueness of his eyes realizing their mouths were only mere inches apart.

“I can’t…I shouldn’t……We need…” He fought with himself just as his lips touched hers. Buffy’s eyes closed as she fell into his kiss. His mouth moved against hers in familiarity. He pressed his body against hers as he deepened the kiss. His tongue begging entrance to her mouth and acceptance being granted as she opened her mouth to him. He held her tight against him, his hand on the small of her back.

Buffy felt like she was melting as she feverishly kissed him back. He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, both gasping in much-needed breath.

“God, I missed you,” he whispered against her mouth as he dipped in for another kiss. Buffy kissed him back frantically, not listening to reason as it started speaking in her head. With much effort, she pushed him away.

“I can’t…We can’t.” she said breathlessly as she hurried away.

*~*

I wasn't sure people were still reading my fic-age over here and Thats why I havent posted. Tonight I was on here checking things out and came across a wonderful review for this fic from June. So here you go hun. You are the sweetest and have totally made my night. THANK YOU!!!!



What am I doing? Buffy thought as she hurried away from Spike.

She wanted to put as much distance between them as she could. Her insides were swirling, her emotions out of control. As badly as she wanted to put distance between them she also wanted to run to him and never let go. She stopped suddenly and put her hand to her mouth.

Spike watched her rush away and abruptly stop in her tracks. He fought hard to keep himself rooted to his spot. He wanted to run to her. Throw his arms around her and kiss the very sense from her body. Her kisses poisoned him, drugging his senses. He was about to walk back to the ball when she turned around and faced him. He could see the unshed tears shining in her eyes and the next thing he knew they were running towards one another.

They grabbed onto each other and smashed, their lips touched, hers demanding that she open up to him. Buffy sighed against his mouth as she weaved her hands through his bleached locks. Spike had his hands everywhere, her hips, her back, her hair, her face. He couldn’t get enough of her. She opened her mouth slightly and ran her little tongue along the seal of his lips. Spike groaned and opened up, his tongue sliding along hers.

She melted against him, hating and loving him all at the same time. His mouth moved a course across her lips, searing them with his intense desire. Their passion was tangible as they tore their mouths from each other and gasped for oxygen.

“I can’t stop touching you…” she whispered against his mouth. Spike tried to smirk but found he couldn’t, his heart so full of love for this girl.

“Neither can I love.” He ran a hand through her hair and fingered it’s soft locks.

“Your hair has gotten longer,” he mused trailing his hand back to her cheek and running his thumb along her bottom lip.

“So has yours,” she replied, her senses tingling from the mere touch of his hand.

His arm tightened around her waist as he pulled her closer still, he needed to feel every inch of her, every part of her.

“I never thought I would see you again,” he said in low tones, his voice filled with the anguish he tried so hard to contain.

The way he said the words and the look on his face caused her spirits to sink as reality came back to her. This was wrong. They couldn’t be together. She couldn’t let him know the truth. She sighed loudly and pulled herself out of his grasp.

“That makes two of us,” her voice rasped as she took a couple steps backwards to get some space between them.

Spike cocked his head at her, a puzzled look upon his face. He looked down from her face to his empty hands, still held open for her. He reluctantly lowered them and closed his eyes. He pulled a ragged breath into his lungs and lifted his head. He opened his eyes and looked right at her. No hold barred. She was going to pull this and he wasn’t going to give in.

“I take it you didn’t want to see me?” he asked, his voice hard. He crossed his arms over his chest and cast a steely look over her.

“It matters not what I want,” she replied, her gaze hard.

Spike chuckled, the sound rough and dry.

Defeated.

He closed the distance between them and took her chin in between his finger and thumb.

“It matters to me.”

Buffy blinked back the tears that started to form in her eyes. She wanted nothing more then to give in.

To forget the pain of the past and start anew.

He watched her quietly, the battle within herself raging. He knew she was fighting herself and silently wondered who was winning. She met his gaze as a single tear found it’s way down her cheek. He brought his other hand to her cheek and wiped the tear away. Her green eyes widened at the tenderness he was bestowing on her. The way he was looking at her. The way he was touching her.

“William…Spike….”

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her mouth as she spoke his name. He nodded slightly and waited for her to go on.

It seemed like time stopped just as he heard her soft voice. But what she said was something he had never expected.

“A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. Xander has asked me to marry him…”

Spike took his hands from her face and took a step back. He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. Hard.

“Have you accepted?”

“I told him I have to think about it.”

“He’s quite a man isn’t he? Allowing you to be in my company.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“He’s a wonderful man. He has done a lot for Dawn and I,” she said, her hands on her hips.

She knew she had hurt him, she could hear it in his voice. She just couldn’t allow him to talk bad about Xander after everything he had done for them.

Spike ran a hand through his hair and turned around, his back to Buffy. He was angry, angry at himself and angry at her. He wanted to kill Xander; that was a fact.

“I didn’t come here for this. I didn’t come here for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I came here to see my father. I just happened to see you first,” Spike said turning around.

Buffy blinked back her tears of disappointment and looked down at her black satin shoes. She swallowed hard and forced herself not to cry.

I can do this. I did it once and it can be done again, she thought. She rose her eyes defiantly to his and took on an air of confidence.

“Best be on your way then, Mr. Leslie,” she said as the light left her eyes, her voice turning cold and flat.

Spike nodded and with a final look at her he turned away.

Buffy watched his retreating form as he walked back into the gleaming light of the ballroom. Only then did she allow the tears she was holding to break free. She sat down in the cold grass and sobbed, her anguished cries heard only by the full moon above her.

The next morning Spike awoke stiffly, he found he was sitting at the hard wooden desk in the house he and Oz had rented. After his encounter with Buffy he had gone home and grabbed the nearest bottle, not putting it down until it had gone bone dry.

He had a plan, it was clear in his head. How he would make Buffy pay for making him leave, for breaking his heart. All that careful planning went right out the window as soon as he saw her.

It was like they were kids all over again. Spike couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. His heart had pounded violently in his chest and his whole body ached for her. It was like time had stopped when their eyes met in the garden. There was nothing left in the world when their lips touched, all that mattered was Buffy. He rubbed his swollen red eyes and heard her voice in his head, the memories of the past fresh.

“I don’t want you William. I could never marry you. You are beneath me…”

He sighed loudly and closed his eyes. The door to the library creaked open and Spike covered his ears, the sound deafening to his alcohol induced brain.

“My god man. What happened last night?” Oz asked as he saw the state that was Spike.

“You don’t want to know,” Spike replied dropping his head into his hands on the hard desk.

“Sounds like I do,” Oz said taking residence in the damask covered chair in front of the heavy desk.

Spike lifted his head, his bloodshot eyes resting on the man in front of him.

“Saw Buffy, kissed Buffy. Plans went out the window. Buffy yet again rejected me. Need to know anything else?”

Oz shook his head and sighed. He knew how Spike felt about Buffy even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. All the plans Spike made on how to hurt Buffy for hurting him, Oz knew he wouldn’t go through with them. Only a man in love would want to hurt the one he loves the most. And only because she hurt him.

“On a lighter note, I saw you dancing with the red-haired bird.”

“Willow. Willow Rosenberg,” Oz supplied, his voice rose a notch and his eyes lost focus. Spike smirked at him and raised his scarred eyebrow.

“What?”

“You said her name in such a bloody dreamy voice,” Spike smiled.

“She’s a nice girl. I think I’ll make sure to see more of her.”

“Yeah I’ll bet.”

Oz raised a questioning eyebrow at his friend.

“Come on man we got business to do. I’ll call your valet,” Oz said getting up and leaving the room.

Spike sighed again and put his head in his hands. Buffy’s vision danced against his closed eyelids.

So help me god, I will get over you, he thought.

*~*

Buffy hadn’t slept well that night. Images of Spike haunted her. His soft words, his tender kisses. She couldn’t bear to go back to the ball. She looked in on Dawn and smiled as she danced around the room with Chad Masters.

Willow was also occupied. She was in a small alcove off the corner of the expansive ball room talking with the red haired man that Spike had come with.

“Are you ok?” Xander asked coming up behind her and placing his hand on her elbow.

“What? Oh I’m fine Xander. Just tired.”

“I saw you talking with William er Spike.”

Buffy’s head shot up just in time to see the dark look that entered Xander’s brown eyes.

“I was speaking with him yes.”

“I know what he was to you, what he is to you. I know I could never compare to him but, I need to know. Have you thought anymore on marrying me?” Xander asked, his hand still on her elbow.

Buffy turned and faced him. She put her hands on his face.

“Xander you know how very much you mean to me don’t you? I love you as my friend. You have done so much for Dawn and I, I could never show my appreciation for all your doings. I can’t marry you Alexander. You deserve a love that knows now bounds. You deserve a woman who loves you whole-heartedly. Not me, whose heart was given away long ago, I don’t think I ever got it back. Ten years later and I’m still in love with him.” Buffy stopped and sighed. She lowered her head and sniffled, willing the tears to pass so she wouldn’t upset Xander any more.

“Buffy…” Xander said as his hands reached for her face. “I know how you feel about him. You have to tell him the truth. I can’t say this doesn’t hurt because it hurts. It hurts bad but I also want you to be happy. Tell him how you feel, tell him why you sent him away. You happy will make me happy.”

Buffy reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “I do love you Xander. You, Willow and Dawn are my family. But telling Spike how I feel. That is something I cannot do. I’ve already hurt him enough.”

Buffy rolled over in her bed, the lavender scented sheets calming her slightly.

“I just can’t tell him,” she said aloud as she rang for her maid.

Buffy smiled as she opened the thank you letters from Dawn’s party. Everyone was so happy to have been invited and were showering her with compliments on the lavish soiree. Her heart contracted tightly when she thought of all the things Xander had down for her and her sister.

It was the right thing, turning down his proposal…I don’t love him, Buffy thought as she placed the cards on the heavy oak table in front of her.

She knew it wouldn’t be right to marry one man when she was in love with another. She knew it. But it still didn’t help the guilt she felt when she saw Xander’s face.

Buffy sighed and stood, walking over to the large bay windows overlooking the mansion’s garden. A slight breeze blew through the various plants and bushes, the sunlight streaming and dancing among the flowers. It looked so inviting Buffy couldn’t help herself as she abandoned her stack of correspondence and went outside.

Anything to get away for a moment.

To not think, to relax in the sun-drenched atmosphere, the birds singing and the flower’s scent wafting around her.

Buffy smiled as she sat on her cobblestone bench. The same bench that was still cracked from when she fell off of it. After William left she didn’t have the heart to change anything he had touched, everything was like a security blanket, all she had left.

In the days that followed her miscarriage she was despondent. They told her that she lapsed into a coma type state, her fevered flesh sweating and shaking as she moaned for William, begged for William to come back. The servants and her mom were afraid for her, not knowing if she would pull through. Her father was still mad, humiliated at the fact a lowly stable hand had knocked up his eldest daughter.

And it was Joyce who practically had to use force to get Hank to see his error. It didn’t matter what happened in the past, the fact remained that their daughter was going to die if they didn’t do something soon. It was then that Giles Leslie was allowed to see Buffy. For hours everyday he would sit at her bedside and read William’s letters over and over to her. He would talk about when they were young and the mischief they used to get into. It took four days and then miraculously Buffy’s fevered lowered and was gone completely. She slept silently for another fortnight before finally opening her eyes.

The people of Summerhaven all took a collective sigh of relief when the town doctor assured them that their mistress would pull through.

It wasn’t long thereafter that Hank died followed by Joyce.

It was still hard to talk about her mom and Buffy choked at the lump forming in her throat.

What she wouldn’t give to have her mother here now.

*~*

Spike and Oz finished their business and headed back to their rented house. Spike closed himself up in the library again, doing paperwork and trying his hardest not to think about Buffy. It wasn’t working well and he decided he needed air. The house he had rented was not far from the creek where he and Buffy used to play as children. He longed to get the comfort he felt when looking at the calming water. He put his pen down and gathered his long coat.

The cool air felt good as he breathed it in, the sun playing on his face. It was the afternoon so the sun was still high in the sky. Birds sang happily as they flew from tree to tree above him. He entered the forest that led to the water and stopped, next to the old eucalyptus tree that had always been his favorite stood Buffy. She had heard the crunching of leaves and turned around, catching Spike looking at her.

“Hello,” she said calmly. Her voice may have been calm but her insides were churning. She had wandered here after being in the garden, her legs and feet just took her here. Leading her as if they knew Spikewould show up.

“Hello,” he reciprocated walking up and standing next to her.

“Have you seen your father yet?”

“Briefly. I’m going to see him again later,” Spike answered trying like hell not to look at her. He could see her out of the corner of his eye. Her blond hair shining in the sun, her skin golden and flushed, the yellow dress she had on clinging to all the delicious curves of her body.

Buffy nodded and looked at him. It was hard not to wrap her arms around him and tell him the truth about the baby, her father, and her feelings. Instead she put her arms around herself as the air started to chill.

“It’s getting cold,” Spike said looking up at the sky. He didn’t know why he didn’t notice before but huge black thunderclouds were forming and had started to cover the sun.

“William…”

“I told you I go by Spike now.”

Buffy laughed softly as he stepped closer to her.

“How did you get that name anyway?” She asked, her body starting to break out in goose flesh at the mere nearness of him.

Spike smirked and turned to look at her, his eyes darkening to a deep midnight blue.

“Do you really want to know?”

Buffy nodded, unable to break their gaze, his eyes hypnotic in their intensity.


A large clap of thunder sounded, breaking them both out of their reveries.

“We better go inside,” he said as Buffy looked up.

“Yes like now,” Buffy agreed as a fat raindrop hit her face. Within seconds the rain started, pouring down on them like a waterfall. Spike grabbed her arm and pulled her. They ran looking for shelter.

“Over there,” Spike yelled above the sound of the thunder as it pounded in the sky. They ran to an abandoned guesthouse. Luckily the door was unlocked and Spike flung it open, rushing Buffy inside.

Just as he shut the door a huge lightning bolt shot across the sky, landing with a clap of thunder. Buffy jumped as the bright light filled the house they were in.

“Oh my god,” She said as she jumped again.

The thunder was getting louder and the lightning more frequent. The wind had picked up and flung the raindrops against the windows. Spike locked the door and turned around, surveying their surroundings. The house was small but was in good shape. They seemed to be standing in the living room area and there was a couch with a small table and some chairs. Spike walked to the right and found the kitchen and next to that was a small bedroom complete with a large sized bed.

“Ok well the house is sturdy and the roof strong. We should be ok here for some time,” Spike said as another huge clap of thunder sounded and lightning streaked across the sky.

“I wonder who lived here,” Buffy mused as she looked around the large room.

“Well who ever was here left us with some good stuff. There are towels and candles.” Spike wrapped a large fluffy white towel around Buffy and put the candles on the table. He lit the candles and the room was flooded with a soft, dancing light.

“There’s even firewood.” Spike noticed as he looked over at the fireplace. As Spike lit up a nice fire, Buffy turned her back to him and pulled off her soaked dress. She stood with just her chemise on. It’s material wet and molded to her body. Spike glanced over and couldn’t take his eyes off the way the fabric clung to her body. Buffy looked at him over his shoulder and Spike ripped his head away back to the fire, making it look like he was tending to it’s glowing embers.

Buffy sneezed and Spike got up and walked over by her. She was shivering even with the large towel covering her form.

“Go sit by the fire. It’ll warm you,” he said coming up behind her and rubbing her arms. He led her over by the fire and sat her down, careful to cover her legs.

“Where are you going?” she asked as he left her.

“To get out of these wet clothes. I’ll never warm up with these on. No sense in attempting to catch my death,” he shrugged as he pulled the wet black jacket off his arms.

Buffy glanced at him over her shoulder as he began to slide his black breeches down his lean legs. She held a gasp in her throat as he stood and removed his white shirt. He wrapped the towel around his waist took his and her wet clothes into the kitchen area. Buffy could hear him wringing out the excess water into a pail.

She shuddered and tried to huddle in as close to the fire she could get without getting burned. She closed her eyes and must have fallen asleep because when she opened them Spike was next to her, shaking her shoulder.

“Buffy?”

“Hmm?”

“Here drink this. It will warm you up,” he said as he handed her a glass of something.

“I found some mulled wine in the pantry. There was also some crackers and dried fruit. Whoever lived here before must have left recently. Thank god for that,” Spike mused as he took a drink of the red liquid. Buffy watched as his mouth molded around the rim of the glass. He took a deep swallow and licked his lips as he brought the glass down. Buffy shuddered.

“Drink Buffy. It will warm you.” Spike put his arms around her pulled her against his bare chest.

Buffy laid against his body and her senses tingled with the acute awareness of his skin, his touch. She brought the glass to her lips and drank. The cool liquid formed a trail of warmth as is flowed through her body.

“That is good,” She said as she took another drink.

“Don’t drink it too fast. I don’t want you to get drunk.”

“Drunk? I never get drunk,” she protested as she finished off what was left in her glass.

“More?” she asked holding her glass out to him and twisting in his arms so she could look at him.

She didn’t realize their heads were so close that when she turned her head her lips brushed against his.

They looked at each other shocked as thunder sounded outside shaking the house. A crack of lighting zigzagged across the sky illuminating their faces as Spike leant down and brushed his lips against hers again.

Again thank you to all of you who have left me reviews. You guys are outstanding!!


They stared at each other as another crack of lighting lit up the interior of the house. The fire crackled and the clap of thunder made them jump. Spike brought his hand to her cheek and caressed her soft skin with the rough pads of his fingers.

“Spike..” Buffy whispered.

“Shhh,” he whispered back as he placed his finger over her mouth.

She nodded slightly as Spike leant forward. The touch of his lips on hers sent a shockwave of heat shooting through her body. He kissed her softly. His lips merely caressing hers. He released her lips and stared into her eyes.

“Buffy?”

She didn’t respond, she just scooted up and placed her lips upon his. He groaned low in his throat and kissed her back, his mouth demanding more this time. Buffy sighed against his lips and wound her hands around his neck as she twisted to the side, her back against his arm.

Her mouth opened slightly, her pink tongue darting out, tempting his into dancing with her. Spike groaned again, and shifted her so he was able to wrap his arms around her, tightly, her body against his.

Buffy was helpless as he broke their kiss only to travel hot, searing kisses across her jaw and down to her neck. Her head fell back as he laid gentle bites across her sensitive skin. Her long blond hair tickled his thighs as she moved her head allowing him better access to her neck.

His hands wound in her hair, dragging her head back farther as he continued his attack on her throat. He couldn’t get enough of her skin, her smell, and her taste.

She moaned, the sound vibrating in her throat as he ran his lips and tongue across her skin. His lips inched lower as he dragged them down the curve of her throat to her chest. He licked between the valley of her breasts, his tongue a welcome heat against her cold flesh.

His hands left her hair to trail down to her shoulders. Slowly he pushed her down onto the blankets they had laid out. His lips left hers as lightning struck outside. He tilted his head to the side as his cerulean blue eyes captured hers.

They darkened as he gazed into her flushed face, her kiss-swollen lips. The towel she had wrapped around her body and her wet chemise had slipped down slightly allowing her hardened nipples to come into his view. The fire played against her body as her rosy areolas tempted him. They mesmerized him as he leaned down and brushed his lips against their chemise-covered peaks.

Buffy’s eyes slid shut as Spike lowered his mouth once more to her aching breasts. It had been so long since she had been touched, since he had touched her. She knew she push him away but damn it, this felt so right, so comfortable.

She felt loved.

From her head to her toes.

Her hands worked through his blond locks, loosening them from the tie at the nape of his neck. Spike brought both hands to her chest and cupped her breasts, pushing them together. His mouth found one nipple, licking, sucking, and biting before traveling to the other, giving it the same treatment. Buffy’s body was awash with sensations as her fingers threaded through his silken locks, dragging his mouth closer to her skin, as if he wasn’t close enough.

Spike took the hint and worked the sodden material off her shoulders, exposing her naked breasts to him. His sharp intake of breath was almost Buffy’s undoing as he lowered his mouth once again. He rubbed his face against her naked flesh, his stubble rubbing roughly against her straining nipples. She couldn’t take anymore and lifted his mouth to hers, kissing him with wild abandon. Her hands left his hair and traveled down his broad shoulders.

She bit down on his bottom lip causing him to groan and smiled against his mouth, pleased she had that kind of affect on him.

His naked torso was against her, the chemise she half had on riding low around her waist and high above her legs. The towel that covered Spike had become un-wrapped from his waist. Buffy gasped as the rigid shaft of his passion rubbed against her thigh.
Spike broke their kiss and looked down at her.

“We don’t have to Buffy. I can stop,” he breathed.

“Don’t want you to,” she whispered tugging his mouth back down.

He captured her lips with a growl, his tongue dueling with hers as he fixated himself in between her legs. His hands caressed her breasts as he licked a trail down her neck.

“Don’t want…Need you to…Want you…” Buffy babbled her body awash in a swirling storm of sensations.

Spike felt her urgency and it mirrored his own as he removed the towel completely from their bodies. He lifted her chemise higher, his chest moving against hers as he moved a hand down between him. His fingers found her wet cleft, rubbing it gently. Buffy moaned her hips shaking at his tender invasion. She was hot and wet as Spike slipped a finger into her folds. Her inner walls sucked him in, clinging to him as he added another finger to the fold.

“Oh Spike,” she murmured as she spread her legs wider, giving him better access to her quivering pussy. His thumb moved on her small bundle of nerves, circling it as her hips bucked against his. He continued his assault on her at both ends, his mouth kissing hers with ferocity as his hand worked her into a puddle of pleasure.

She was gasping for breath, her body taut on the edge of her orgasm when Spike removed his fingers from her tempting body. She wanted to cry out at the loss of contact when he slid down her body, his lips fastening on her clit sucking hard. Buffy screamed and bucked against his mouth, releasing a flood of her sweet juice into his mouth. Frantic fingers grasped his head, holding him between her thighs as she rode out her peak on his face. Each flick of his tongue caused another small orgasm to roll through her body eliciting another spasm of her nectar to flow against his lips.

He lifted his head and looked at her, licking his lips before crawling up her body. He kissed her making her taste herself on him as he positioned his hard cock at her entrance. With one thrust he buried himself to the hilt, pressing against her womb.

“Spike!” Buffy yelled as she clung to his back.

His mouth found hers as he started to move within her silken heat. They were both covered in a fine sheen of sweat as their bodies rubbed together. Buffy lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist urging him deeper within her.

Buffy’s eyes fell shut as the tension inside her belly started to build again. She broke from Spike’s mouth and buried her face in his neck as he picked up the pace, thrusting within her with wild abandon.

Spike had no control. He wanted this, wanted her for so long that he couldn’t stop himself even if he was hurting her. From the lustful moans that were coming from her mouth he knew he wasn’t. He was angry at himself and angry at her for making him leave all those years ago. Angry at himself for being with her right now, being inside her, loving her when he should be hating her.

Spike groaned against her neck as her walls started clenching on him, milking his cock as she neared another orgasm. He forced her head away from his neck and kissed her harshly.

“Open your eyes Buffy,” he commanded his hands on either side of her head.

Buffy complied and opened her eyes revealing her green depths filled with passion upon him.

“Oh god Spike,” she wailed, her eyes never leaving his as her body convulsed in pleasure.

“Buffy!” Spike bellowed as his cock jerked, spilling his hot seed within her quivering body.

Buffy finally closed her eyes as Spike slumped against her, his head in her neck as his cock continued to fire inside her wet folds.

She had no idea if it was the wine or Spike on top of her that made her sleepy and didn’t care as she drifted off. She was almost out when she heard Spike’s ragged whisper as he too drifted into sleep.

“Love you Elizabeth…”

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback!! You guys are unbelieveable!! :: hugs ::

Buffy awoke to the feel of a strong body holding her. She didn’t need to glance behind her to know it was Spike. His arms tightened possessively around her middle as he slept on. She could the warmth of his breath against her neck, as it ruffled her blond hair. The cabin lightened slightly as the sun started to rise in the sky. Buffy sighed relishing the feel of being in his arms again. It had amazed her then and it amazed her now how she felt in his arms.

How their bodies fit perfectly.

Like they were two puzzle pieces that fit together flawlessly.

His scent mingled in the early morning air and Buffy breathed deeply, wanting to imprint that scent on her senses. Regardless of what had transpired between them last night Buffy didn’t think it would happen again. She was determined to keep her secret from him, even if it meant her own happiness.

Spike chose that moment to let her know he was awake by peppering kisses across her neck.

“Mornin’ love.”

Buffy sighed and leaned back against him as he continued to kiss her skin. Her body tingled as her eyes fell closed.

“Morning.”

“Marry me,” Spike whispered against her neck.

Buffy’s eyes shot open and she sat up.

“What?”

Spike lifted himself on one elbow and tilted his head to the side.

“I said marry me.”

“You’re insane,” She said as she got up and hunted around for her dress.

“Why?”

“Why? Because I can’t marry you Spike.”

“Is it the whelp?” he asked as she moved around the room.

“The wha?” She asked as stopped what she was doing to throw a confused glance his way. “No it’s not Xander. He’s my friend. I would never feel that way towards him.”

“Then why?”

“Spike stop. You know why.”

“I honestly don’t Buffy,” he said standing. She brushed past him and he grabbed her arm. “Will you please stop?”

“What Spike?” she asked exasperated. This isn’t what she wanted to do this morning, especially after the night they spent together.

He had both hands on her arms now, forcing her to look in his eyes.

“Tell me why.”

Buffy blanched under his blue-eyed gaze.

“The list is endless.”

“Start at number 1.”

“We are different people Spike. You are no longer the simple stable boy who I would climb trees and swim in the creek with.”

“So?”

“So?” She echoed in a voice that was neither nice nor harsh.

“If that’s all you got then it’s not a reason at all. The only excuse I will accept to my proposal is that you don’t love me anymore.”

Spike tightened his grip on her arms and forced her to look at him.

“Is that it Buffy? Do you not love me anymore?”

“Spike…what we had…what we were is gone. We are not the same people as we had been back then.”
“I don’t care. And that’s not a good enough reason.”

“No Spike. I don’t love you anymore.”

Even as the words tumbled from her lips she knew they were lie. Her heart was breaking and even more so at the look on his face.

She expected him to push her away from him. To grab his clothes and stalk off. What he did next, what he said wasn’t at all like she would have thought.

“Remember that time in the woods, when we were talking against our tree?” he asked her, the grip on her arms becoming tighter but not painfully so.

She nodded mutely and he went on.

“I asked you to marry me. I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me. Do you remember what you said?”

** “I want to marry you,” William said, his voice breaking through her reverie. Buffy pulled back and looked into his clear blue eyes.

“You want to marry me?”

“Is there something wrong with your ears?” he asked playfully.
Buffy slapped him against his chest and smiled.

“There’s nothing wrong with my pretty ears. I just want to make sure I heard you right.”

William smiled back and her and got on his knee. He held her left hand in his and looked up into her shining eyes.

“Buffy, we have known each other all our lives. I have never met a woman like you before. I love you with my entire being and with my entire soul. In my heart I know you are my other half. With you I am whole. I can’t imagine life without you. Will you make an honest man out of me and become my wife?”

Buffy blinked, trying to hold back tears and she sunk to her knees before him. He reached his sun-bronzed hand up to her face and wiped her tears away.

“Yes William I will marry you,” She whispered against his palm. William gave a shout of yes and kissed her, his mouth cruising possessively against hers.**

“I told you yes,” she whispered, the memory causing tears to spring to her eyes.

“By rights you are my betrothed. In the eyes of God you are already my wife, we just don’t have the fancy piece of paper to back it up.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and she knew he was right. She hadn’t broken off their engagement. She just sent him away.

“What does that have to do with anything? We don’t have that paper so I am still not your wife. We are not married Spike.”

“Why didn’t you find me after your father died?”

“What? Because I didn’t know where you were.”

“My father did. My father always has. Why didn’t you ask him?”

The thought had crossed her mind. As soon as they put her father in ground she had wanted to find him. But by then it was too late. The miscarriage had already happened. The damage had been done.

“I figured your life had changed. You had moved on, met a woman, and fallen in love. I highly doubted you spent your moments thinking of me.”

“Well you’re half right. My life had changed. I was no longer a simple man with simple needs. I was taken aboard the ship and beaten til I was nothing. I thought I was going to die Buffy and I hoped for it. I prayed for death because nothing could be as bad as what I was going through.”

“Oh god Spike. I’m sorry.”

“No…don’t be. I am not telling you this for your sympathies. I’m telling you this because when it got so bad that I wanted to kill myself all I could think about was you. Your face, your eyes, the way you would bite your lip when you got nervous.”

Spike lessened his grip on her arms but didn’t let go.
“The day you said you’d marry me was the happiest day of my life. I loved you Buffy before I knew what love was. I had dreams, plans all involving you. I thought you felt the same way.”

“I did. I did feel the same way Spike.”

He grabbed her arms roughly again and forced her to look at him, their faces mere inches apart.

“Then why Buffy? Why did you send me away? Why did you break my heart?”

“Spike..”

“No! Don’t Spike me Buffy. Don’t make up a story or say you had to. Tell me the bloody truth damn it. Tell me why you made me leave.”

Spike was trying not to get angry but was failing miserably until he saw tears well up in her emerald green eyes. He sighed and released her, allowing her to back away from him a little.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Spike laughed, ruefully and dryly.

“I’m not accepting that Buffy. How would I understand unless you tell me what’s going on?”

“Damn you,” she swore her eyes hardening as she looked at him.

“Damn me? You sent me into hell and damn me? All I want to know is why. Is that soo bloody hard for you to admit?”

“You have no idea what you are asking me.”

“Yeah right. Do you remember what you told me the night you send me away? Do you even remember how callous and awful you were?” Spike practically spat the words at her.

“William,” she nodded and swept to the side to allow him access to her room.

William said nothing and walked in, water falling as droplets onto the hard wood floor.

“I saw your father this afternoon,” he said gruffly not looking at her.

Buffy turned away from him and wrung her hands together.

“He is sending me away.”

“I know. It’s for the best really. You don’t belong here. You deserve better,” she said looking at his face. William’s clear blue eyes met hers and she had to turn away from the intensity in his gaze.

“I belong with you,” he said grabbing her arm and yanking her against his body.

“William..”

“Tell me to stay Buffy. I’ll go anywhere you ask. I won’t leave unless you ask me too. I’ll come back. No one can keep us apart,” he said desperately holding onto her, his grip becoming painful.

Buffy laughed a dry laugh and wrenched herself away from William’s embrace.

“William go. I don’t want you here. What we had was nothing. This love you thought I felt for you was nothing. Twas not but a bit of practice. I am now ready for an real man now.”

“Buffy I love you,” William said defeated.

Buffy looked at him one last time, trying to memorize everything about his face, his hair, his body. She knew if he touched her again she would crumble and beg him to stay.

“Go William. I don’t want you, you are beneath me,” she said cruelly.

William’s eyes widened with shock making Buffy cast her gaze downward. She balled her hands into fists, her nails leaving little welts in her palms and silently begged him to leave. When she looked up again he was gone.

“Do you have any idea what you did to me that night?” Spike demanded his blue eyes harsh.

“Do you have any idea what it did to me?” she countered.

“No and you know what I don’t care. You made me leave. You sent me away. All I’m asking now is why.”

“What do you want me to say Spike? That my father made me send you away? That he knew we were in love and I was carrying your baby. That he would rather me bear the life of complete unhappiness then have his eldest daughter married to a lowly stable hand?”

“What?” Spike asked, his eyes wide as he closed the distance between them. “Our baby?”

Buffy sighed and tried to look away from the hopeful look on Spike’s face.

“Yes…I was carrying your baby.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Where is it? Where is my child?” Spike grabbed her arms once more and looked closely at her, scrutinizing her, almost shaking her in his anxiety about the baby.

“I lost it Spike,” she whispered as tears began to flow in earnest down her face.

He didn’t know what to say. He just gathered her in his arms and held her close as she began to cry, huge sobs wracking her body.

*~*
It felt like an eternity that Spike held the small woman in his arms. Her sobs had quieted and she sniffled but seemed to gain control again. Spike said nothing, just smoothed her hair from her face and placed kisses on her forehead. The fact that he had gotten Buffy pregnant weighed heavily on him, more so because she lost the baby. Between her sobs and hiccupping she told him how she fell down the stairs and blacked out. When she had awoken the doctors told her about the loss.

The thought that Buffy was carrying his child filled him with warmth. This is where he belonged and he always knew it. Hearing that they had created life together only re-affirmed that notion. He just needed her to admit it to herself and to him. He had no intention of leaving her or Summerhaven ever again.

He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice that Buffy had twisted in his arms and was looking at him.

“Spike?” she asked softly touching his cheek.

“Hmmm?”

“What are you thinking?”

Spike looked down at her and saw the apprehension on her face, she was afraid of what he would say and afraid if she did not hear it.

“I’m thinking of how I should have never left that night. That I should have fought you when you told me to leave. That I should have made love you to and proved to you how much we belong together.”

“How can you still think that?”

“You’re kidding me right?” he asked sarcastically.

“No…actually I’m not.”

“Buffy…it’s not your fault your father was a complete asshole. You do know that right? It’s not your fault you lost the baby, my god woman you fell down the stairs. How can you think it’s your fault?”

“I was running…I shouldn’t have been going so fast. I should have been treading carefully but I couldn’t help it. Your father had sent me word that he had received a letter from you and I was so desperate to hear it.”

“Wait a minute. You were running for one of my letters?” he asked her, his eyes incredulous.


“Spike, I had locked myself in my room. I refused to eat or drink. I wouldn’t open the curtains. I sat in complete darkness, turning away anyone who came to see me. I wanted to suffer. I wanted my grief to swallow me whole and spit out my bones. I was nothing without you. I was a shell of the woman who was yours. Your father had known what was going on and when your letter came, he knew it was the light I needed to find my way out of the darkness.”

“It’s my fault,” Spike said quietly, his arms loosening around her.

“What?”

“It’s my fault,” he repeated as he moved to stand.

“How could anything be your fault?”

“It was MY letter that you were running for. It was my fault you fell.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Buffy exclaimed as she stood as well.

“Don’t you understand Buffy? You were running because of me. Had my father not gotten my letter…had he not read it, you wouldn’t have fallen.”

Buffy reacted before she knew what she was doing. She reached him in one stride, one hand grabbing his arm and the other stroking his cheek.

“Nothing in my life has ever been your fault William Leslie.”

Spike broke her hold on him and went to the door.

“Except the loss of our child,” he said as he walked out the door, shutting it quickly behind him.

“Spike!” Buffy yelled as she flung open the door, her eyes becoming momentarily blinded by the bright light the sun was flinging down on them. She blinked once and finally was able to see Spike who had stopped in his tracks.



She ran towards him, her long skirt tangling around her legs. She didn’t care; she just needed to get to him.



“Spike..”




“There’s nothing to say,” he replied in a low, tormented voice.

“Are you crazy? Are you out of your mind nuts?”

Spike looked at her, the sadness seeping from his eyes and onto his face.

Buffy grabbed his arms and forced him to look at her.

“Nothing and I mean NOTHING is your fault Spike. Just like it isn’t my fault. It was an act of fate. I obviously was not meant to have that child.”

As Buffy spoke the words she realized they were true. It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t her fault.

It had just happened.

Fate had happened.

The same fate that brought Spike back to her.

“Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter now. I love you William, I have and always will love you.”

Spike closed his eyes and sighed. He wanted nothing more then to gather her in his arms and kiss away the pain that was searing both their hearts. But he hesitated, allowing his mind to wander and dance around un-answered questions.

“Spike?” she asked, her eyes reflecting desperation at him.

“How could fate be so bloody cruel?” he questioned her dejectedly, his arms going around her and pulling her close.

“I don’t know…I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that the hardest situations you go through, the stronger you become,” Buffy whispered against his chest.

Spike sighed again and kissed the top of her golden head. He didn’t want to let her go, he wanted to hold onto her forever.

“Tell me what you want.”

Buffy pulled back and looked into his eyes. She placed a hand on his face and rubbed his stubble-covered cheek before kissing him softly on the lips.

“I want this.”

Kiss.

“I want us.”

Kiss.

“I want you.”

Spike groaned in satisfaction and pulled her closer to him. His arms wrapping around her middle, his mouth dominating hers. He kissed her hungrily, his mouth relaying everything to her in teeth, lips and tongue.

“I want this too,” he breathed.

“I missed you,” she said breathlessly between kisses.

“Me too.”

Spike smiled and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Where do we go from here?” she asked him quietly, as casually as she could without her voice shaking from the uneasiness inside her.

“I meant what I said Buffy. I want to marry you. I’ve always wanted to marry you. You are what makes me complete. Without you I’m nothing.”

Buffy sniffled as Spike got down on his knee in front of her.

“Please Buffy. Marry me and make me the happiest man on earth. There’s nothing short of moving the stars and the moon, that I wouldn’t do for you.”

Buffy sank to her knees in front of him, tears spilling down her face as a she touched his cheeks. She rubbed the pads of her fingers against his chiseled cheekbones and smiled at him.

“Of course I’ll marry you…William.”

Spike smiled and caressed her face before crushing her to him, hugging her and crying at the same time. He was laughing as he showered kisses on her cheeks and along her jaw line. Happiness was evident on his face as they clung to each other in the dew-covered grass, neither caring that it stained their clothes.
*~*

Spike smoothed back his sun-bleached hair and cleared his throat as he raised his hand to knock on the great oak door. He couldn’t help the nervousness that crept into his stomach.

The door creaked open revealing a small man with one of those handlebar mustaches, the one that curves into curls on either side of the nose.

“Good Afternoon sir,” the butler replied, his voice light and steady. He stood stiffly at the door his arms to his sides awaiting Spike’s response.

“Good Afternoon, I’m here to speak with the earl.”

“You are?”

“Lord Leslie,” Spike replied.

“Of course sir. Please come in,” the butler swept to the side, allowing Spike to enter.

Spike had to admit the earl had nice taste. His house was impeccable. Large expensive rugs draped the stone floors, beautiful tapestries lined the windows. It was obvious it was a bachelor’s home as it was very masculine in decoration. It seemed to be waiting for a woman’s touch to flourish it, make it homier.

“Lord Leslie is here to see you sir,” the butler said as he opened the door.

“Of course. Let him in,” the earl replied from within the study.

As Spike walked in the earl stood and held out his hand.

“Spike, how are you?”

“Well and you?” Spike took the offered hand and shook it heartily.

“What do I owe the honor of your visit?” Xander asked him gesturing for him to sit down.

“It’s about Elizabeth.”

Spike noticed that Xander paled slightly but his smile was kept intact on his face. He knew Xander had feelings for Buffy and it must have hurt him greatly when she turned down his proposal.

“I’m thinking we’ll need a drink for this,” Xander said as he went to the whiskey decanter and poured some of the amber liquid into two crystal glasses.

He handed one to Spike and smiled.

“To happiness.”

“To happiness,” Spike agreed and brought the glass to his lips. They held each other’s gaze as they drank. Spike whistled as the cool liquid burned fire down his throat.

“That’s some quality,” he commented as looked at the bottom of his glass.

“My family has made whiskey for generations and generations,” Xander replied as he smiled at Spike.

“They are damn good at it.”

Xander smiled appreciatively at Spike and looked at his glass. He knew why Spike was here. He just didn’t know if he was ready to hear it.

“So Spike what can I help you with?”

“I want to marry Buffy,” he stated plainly.

Spike figured the sooner he got to the point the easier on Xander it would be.

Xander looked at him, trying not to let his feelings show. He did love Buffy but, he knew her heart was with Spike

Was always with Spike.

“Why are you coming to me?” Xander asked softly.

“Well since her parents have died you have taken care of her and Dawn. It’s not only right but its respectful to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Xander nodded, quite moved by what Spike had said. He may be the man who was taking his love from him but he was a good man and Xander knew Buffy would be happy.

“What do you have to offer her?”

“In Mary’s Land I am rich beyond my means. I own much land and have built businesses on the side. My home is expanse and well cared for. Buffy will want for nothing.”

“What of Dawn?”

“Since she is without a parental figure or a dowry I thought maybe we could keep Summerhaven with her. That could be a part of her bride price. I have more then enough for Buffy and will provide for Dawn as well.”

“You seem to have thought long and hard on this,” Xander commented finding himself very agreeable to Spike’s words.

“I have.”

“I know she’ll be happy monetary wise but, what about love?”

“Earl Xander I have loved Buffy since we were children. My feelings have not lessened over the years, they have only grown stronger. We are meant to be and after everything we have been through it would be a sin not for us to be together,” Spike said as he put his heartfelt meaning in his words.

Buffy was nervous. She hadn’t been this nervous since she finally realized she was in love with Spike. Seeing him that first time, watching him while he worked, he totally unaware that she was there. All those pent up emotions, not knowing how he felt caused butterflies of every species to find a home within her stomach. She looked into the polished silver in front of her and smoothed down the ivory satin of her skirt. She glanced up at her face again and willed herself not to cry. This day was supposed to be special and instead of having everything she wanted, she was left wanting more.

“Your mother would be so proud of you.”

Buffy turned around and saw Xander standing in the doorway to her room. Xander had to stop himself from gasping aloud. His heart contracted in his chest, overcome by how beautiful she looked.

“You always know what I’m thinking. I just wish she was here,” Buffy whispered playing with her mother’s ring on her right hand.

Xander smiled and walked over to Buffy. He put his hand on her cheek and made her meet his eyes.

“She is here Buffy. She is always with you and Dawn and on this day especially.”

Buffy’s eyes filled with tears as she tried not to cry. It was funny, willing herself not to cry and her eyes becoming more watery.

“This is what she always wanted for you. You told me yourself. She is rejoicing as well. She wouldn’t want you to cry and be upset on your special day,” Xander said honestly.

“You’ve been so good to us Xander. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

“Nonsense. There is no need. You are like my sister Buffy, I will always be here for you. No matter what.”

Buffy smiled at him and touched his face. He was just a kind man, she hoped he knew that. Knew how special and wonderful he was. The lady who stole his heart was going to be one lucky woman in Buffy’s eyes.

“Are you ready?” He asked her.

“Give me just a minute. I’ll be right out,” she replied.

She smiled as Xander left the room and turned towards the polished silver again. She had on an ivory white satin dress. The neckline fashionably low and cut in a V across the swell of her breasts. The sleeves were off her shoulders, leaving them bare and ending just below her elbow. The dress was tight around her middle accentuating her small form, which flowed out into a full skirt. Along the bodice and continuing down the front of her dress were purple and green seed pearls. Pink and yellow seed pearls designed into tiny flowers lined the bottom of her skirt. Her veil was long, the edges lined in lace and also woven with the same seed pearls. Around her neck she wore her mother’s gold cross.

Buffy smoothed down her dress again and made sure there wasn’t a winkle on her. She pinched her cheeks for added color and willed herself not to cry. She looked down at her skirt as a bolt of sunlight shown through her window making the pearls shimmer and seemingly dance upon the satin. With one last look at herself in the mirror she moved to leave the room. Something caused her to look back and glance at the chair. Lying there on the burgundy brocade was her bouquet of white roses tied with a sheer blue ribbon.

“Can’t forget this,” she said to herself as she grabbed them and left the room.

*~*

Spike was equally as nervous as he stood in Summerhaven’s chapel waiting for Buffy to appear. He had loved her since he before he could remember and finally after all these years to have her, to be her husband was making him intensely nervous. It was as if he expected something to go wrong, something to make his happiness disappear. He knew that wouldn’t happen. Buffy loved him and he loved her. It was meant to be that they marry and everyone knew that. He understood how lucky he was for Xander to consent to this marriage and how hard it had been for the earl to grant it to him.

Spike waited for his speech to have an impact on the earl. He had poured his heart and soul into his words and hoped that Xander would see how much he loved Buffy.

What Spike didn’t know was that Xander already knew how much he loved her and how much she loved him. It was in their eyes when they spoke about each other. In their voices, the way they held themselves. A person in love is a very obvious creature and Xander knew from the moment he met Buffy that her heart belonged to another. Even as he got on his knee and proposed he knew her heart would never be his, not in the slightest.

“Very well Spike you have my consent. On one condition though.”

Spike nodded his head at Xander beckoning him to go on.

“I get to walk Buffy down the aisle,” Xander requested. It wasn’t really a demand because even if Spike said no to that Xander would allow the marriage but he wanted to see the blonde’s reaction.

“Of course Xander. I would have it no other way,” Spike readily agreed.

Xander was such a big part of Buffy and Dawn’s life that who was he to stand in their way. He owed Xander a bounty for everything he had done for them since their parents demise. Frankly he was grateful to Xander for being there for them.

Xander smiled at Spike and stood offering his hand.

“Congratulations! May you and Buffy have a wonderful life together,” Xander said, his words heartfelt.

Spike stood and shook his hand.

“Thank you!”

Spike played with his black silk tie and adjusted it, his hands to the point of shaking.

“Are you ok?” Oz asked him from his place next to Spike.

“I’m just so bloody nervous,” Spike revealed.

“Aww man there’s nothing to be nervous about. This wedding was a long time in the making. Just relax,” Oz said slapping Spike on the back.

“Relax son. You have nothing to worry about,” Giles said as he took his place next to Oz.

“Thanks Dad. I’m trying..” Spike was cut off as the music started to play.

As the music began to play everyone in the chapel stood and turned to watch Dawn and Willow walk down the aisle. They both looked stunning in violet as they clutched white roses in their hands. Oz caught Willow’s eye and smiled at her. She smiled back, a slight blush staining her cheeks.

“Seems someone else is in love,” Giles said poking Oz in the ribs.

Oz smiled at Spike’s father and chuckled, his observation not at all wrong.

Willow winked at Oz before standing next to Dawn.

The wedding march started to play and Spike straightened, his back ramrod stiff as the chapel doors opened revealing Buffy and Xander.

Her sight stole his breath as she started to walk towards him. Never in his life had he seen anything as beautiful as she was. He tried to smile at her and found his eyes starting to tear. His heart contracted in his chest, so in love with this woman he was.

Buffy was in a similar disposition. When the doors opened she was momentarily blinded but then her vision cleared and landed on Spike. He was absolutely gorgeous in his black velvet breeches and sharp black jacket. His crisp white silk shirt and black tie complimented his suit beautifully. His cerulean blue eyes were filled with tears as she approached him.

Xander walked beside Buffy proudly, her small hand resting on his arm as he led her to the love of her life. He knew this was a moment he would cherish forever, how lucky he was to be the one giving her away.

The two lovers looked upon one another with tears in their eyes and smiled watery at one another. The priest stepped forward as soon as the music stopped and raised his hand.

“Who doth gives this woman away?” He asked, his voice loud and commanding.

“I do,” Xander replied as he removed Buffy’s hand from his arm and rested it on Spike’s.

Spike and Buffy locked eyes then and smiled at one another before touching their hands and interlocking their fingers.

He glanced at Spike who smiled at him and nodded, signally his thanks. Xander nodded back and stepped down, looking for his place in the pew he was supposed to sit at. His eyes landed on a brownish blonde haired woman who smiled at him and scooted over. Her warm brown eyes regarded him sweetly as he sat next to her. As her hand touched his arm he felt a tingle go through him. Maybe love wouldn’t be lost on him as well he thought as he smiled at her.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join William James and Elizabeth Anne in holy matrimony. If anyone here protests to this union please speak now or forever hold your peace.”

A hush fell over the chapel as they waited to see if anyone would protest. A minute passed without so much as a peep from anyone or anything and the priest smiled at the waiting couple.

“Very well,” he said as he cleared his throat.

“Dear children of God, you have come today to pledge your love before God and before the Church here present today in person of the priest, your families and friends. In becoming husband and wife you give yourselves to each other for life. You promise to be true and faithful, to support and cherish each other until death, so that your years together will be the living out in the love of the pledge you now make.

May your love for each other reflect the enduring love of Christ for his Church. As you face the future together, keep in mind that the sacrament of marriage unites you with Christ, and brings you, through the years, the grace and blessing of God our Father. Marriage is from God: he alone can give you the happiness which goes beyond human expectation, and which grows deeper through the difficulties and struggles of life.

Put your trust in God as you set out together in life. Make your home a center of family life. Now as you are about to exchange your marriage vows, the Church wishes to be assured that you appreciate the meaning of what you do, and so I ask you:

Have you come here of your own free will and choice and without compulsion to marry each other?”

“We have,” Spike and Buffy replied.

“Will you love and honor each other in marriage all the days of your life?”

“We will,” the answered.

“Do you Elizabeth take William as your husband?”

“I do.”

“Do you William take Elizabeth as your wife?”

“I do.”

The priest smiled down at them, his wise face full of comfort as he held his hands above their heads.

“May I have the rings please?”

Oz reached into his pocket and withdrew their wedding bands. They were simple gold bands engraved on the insides with their initials and the date. Spike had gone one further and written “Keeper of my heart” on Buffy’s band. Little did he know Buffy had a special inscription written on his ring as well. His said, “Key to my soul”.

The priest took their rings and placed them in one hand while placing his other hand on their joined hands.

“May the Lord bless these rings, which will be the sign of your love and fidelity.”

“William take this ring and as you place it upon Elizabeth’s finger recite your vows.”

Spike smiled at Buffy as the priest placed the ring in his hand. He took it between his thumb and forefinger as he looked into her eyes.


“I, William, take you, Elizabeth, to be my wife, confident in my heart that you will be a faithful friend, and a true and loving companion. One this wondrous day, in the presence of God, our family and friends as witnesses, I give to you my sacred vow that as your husband, I will always be with you and support you. In times of sickness and in health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow. I further promise to love you completely, to console and comfort you during difficult times, to respect you and to protect you from harm. To honor you and to provide for your well-being, to be truthful and honest with you and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live and beyond,” Spike finished as he choked up, a stray tear making its way down his chiseled face. He slid the gold band upon Buffy’s hand and watched as his tear fell on the ring illuminating it, making it shimmer.

Buffy sniffled as she looked into Spike’s eyes. As if it were even possible more love flooded her being for this man.

“Elizabeth as you place this ring on William’s finger please recite your vows.”

Buffy was holding onto Spike’s hand as the priest handed her the ring. She took it in her hand and prepared to slide it down his ring finger.

“I, Elizabeth, take you, William, to be my husband, confident in my heart that you will be a faithful friend, and a true and loving companion. On this wondrous day, in the presence of God, our family and our friends as witnesses, I give to you my sacred vow that as your wife, I will always be with you and support you. In times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow. I further promise to love you completely, to console and comfort you during difficult times, to encourage you to achieve your full potential, to laugh with you and to grieve with you, to share with you life’s simplest but most enduring pleasures, to be truthful and honest with you and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live and beyond,” Buffy recited, her voice shaky as she cried with love for Spike.

The priest reached for their hands again and gazed upon them.

“The couple has proclaimed their love for one another and have exchanged their tokens of promise. Let us look upon them with love and respect. William and Elizabeth, may you both be as in love and happy as the Lord allows. Today has been a happy and joyous day, may it continue to be so. In as much as you have pledged to the other your lifelong commitment, love, and devotion, I now declare you to be husband and wife. William you may kiss your bride.”

Spike let go of Buffy’s hands and reached for her veil. He slowly lifted it off her face and saw the tears running down her cheeks. He cupped her face in his hands and smiled as he leaned towards her. His lips touched hers tenderly a shock going through the two of them. Around them everyone cheered. Spike pulled back and pressed his forehead to Buffy’s.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” she whispered back.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to be the first to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Leslie,” the priest said as he touched both of their backs.

The chapel erupted in applause as the happy couple walked down the aisle smiling and holding hands. As they reached the door they turned towards one another and kissed. Neither had been so happy as they were today. To finally be together, for it finally to be right. For their love to finally be shown. And in the end their love had seen then through.