Chapter 1

Buffy Summers practically growled as the stack of papers she was holding floated to the floor. It was only her second day on the job, and shealready dropped three files, spilled four cups of coffee, and was seriously worried that she had been the one to break the copy machine. She thought it was the best day of her life when she got the job at Chase Agency, a business that was responsible for all of the most popular models out there. Cordelia Chase had started the business after she had been a model for a few years, realizing she could make her money work for her. She still modeled from time to time but was now responsible for creating careers for the women in her care.

Buffy had been in Los Angeles attending UCLA until summer rolled around, and she realized she needed a summer job. She applied and, much to her surprise, was hired to do odd jobs around the agency. The building was a spacious five stories with soft shades of neutral colors and hardwood floors throughout the building. Cordelia had wanted to utilize the space, but at the same time, keep it open and airy. As a result, the first floor was simply a reception area with overstuffed chairs lining the walls next to the glass end tables. The receptionist's desk, which was really a huge mahogany counter, was directly across from the double glass doors at the front of the building.

The next two floors were used as offices without the cubbies. A few desks lined each wall, leaving the middle of the floor open on each level to make the agency appear even bigger than it really was.

The fourth floor was used as a staging area for Cordelia's photographer Doyle, whom Buffy had only met once, but was charmed by his sweet demeanor. The entire top floor of the building was Cordelia's office. Buffy had only been up there once since she arrived the other day, and she hadn't seen the famous Ms. Chase, but judging from her office and the building in general, she had exquisite taste. The elevator opened right into her office, which was decorated with glass-top furniture, a desk, end tables next to the sofa, bookshelves lined with pictures of herself and famous people, and a table against one wall with a beautiful antique silver mirror hanging from the wall above it. The middle of the office held two black leather sofas and a matching chair. Stepping out of the elevator to the right was her desk and black leather chair that matched the set. It was obviously the office of someone who knew fashion. What had surprised Buffy was what lined the walls behind her desk- pictures of what looked like Cordelia growing up, with her family. Buffy hadn't had a chance to look at any of the pictures, but she had figured someone like Cordelia Chase couldn't be bothered by something as inconsequential as family pictures.

Now, as Buffy scooped up the files that were lining the floor in one of the office areas, she heard a group of people heading toward her. Flipping the hair out of her eyes, Buffy quickly straightened and began trying to reorganize the files as she walked. Without looking where she was going, she bumped into someone and barely managed to hang onto the files she was holding. Looking up as a hand steadied her, she looked right into the light brown eyes of Cordelia Chase. Buffy suddenly felt very inadequate as she stared at the beautiful woman. Her hair was in soft curls that fell to her shoulders, and she was dressed in a comfortable, but chic, pair of dress pants with a flattering shirt. Buffy glanced down at her own black skirt and white blouse and had to resist the urge to stick out her tongue at its boring simplicity.

"You okay?"

"Miss Chase, I am SO sorry. I just didn't watch where I was going, and then everything was.bad. I'm sorry."

"That's okay, accidents happen."

"Really?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, a few years ago I probably would have torn you apart for getting in my way, but I guess we do mature as we get older."

"Again, I'm sorry, Miss Chase."

"Call me Cordy, everyone does," she said with a wave of her hand. Buffy felt slightly uneasy at the penetrating looks that the young woman was giving her.

"You work for me?"

"Yeah, files and records, coffee, whatever anyone needs. This is my second day."

"Hmmm, I would have thought you were a model."

"Really?" she asked excitedly.

"Well," she began as she continued to critique Buffy. "You're way too short for the runway, but maybe some print ads. You interested?"

"You're serious?" she asked disbelievingly.

"I don't joke about this," she replied, arching one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "But yeah, I think a quick makeover and some black and white shots would do wonders. Doyle!"

Doyle emerged from the back of the group that had been watching the exchange.

"Take Miss.?"

"Summers," Buffy supplied.

"Take Miss Summers with you and work your magic."

A few minutes later, Buffy was led up to the fourth floor, behind the dressing rooms and photography area, and saw what looked like a small salon.

"Cordy's right, lass," Doyle said, putting a black cloak around her neck. "You do have the makings for a good model. Have you ever thought about it?"

"Honestly, it never crossed my mind."

"All we're going to do is a tiny trim and a highlight."

"Highlights?" she asked.

Doyle held up a strand of long blonde hair. "It's fine the way it is- we just want to add a softer feel. Maybe a honey-colored shade instead of a harsh blonde, make it look more natural."

Buffy nodded as Doyle got to work.

* * * * *

When Doyle finished, Buffy smiled at her reflection. Her hair had only been trimmed a few inches, still falling halfway down her back, with soft layers added in. The new shade of blonde did give her a more natural look and made her appear a little older than her twenty years.

"Doyle, I thought you were just a photographer."

"Well, yeah, but photography is an art, and you know what they say about artists."

"They cut off their own ears?"

Doyle laughed. "They starve. I had to find a day job to pay the bills, and that's when I began hairdressing. Happened to do Cordy's hair one day, and the rest, as they say, is history."

Buffy smiled as they walked over to the massive closet. Buffy gasped as it was opened to reveal hundreds of beautiful, up-to-the-minute styles.

"Oh my God! How do you get all of these things?" she asked, walking over to inspect a pair of Manolo Blahniks.

"Cordy's friends with a lot of designers. The majority of these things are loaners."

"This is amazing."

"Yep, now let's get you dressed."

As Buffy stepped out of the dressing room in a black Armani dress, she saw Cordelia talking to Doyle. Turning to face Buffy, she gave her a bright smile.

"Okay.I didn't catch your first name."

"Buffy."

"Okay, Buffy, here's how this works. I still need you to keep your regular job, but Doyle will snap a few pictures of you. I'll send them out to anyone looking for a fresh face, and you'll get a couple of hundred bucks for every picture that's sold. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!" Buffy said excitedly.

"Great. Now, you are currently considered a model for the Chase Agency, which entails some added responsibilities. Just a fund-raiser here or a charity ball there. Your wardrobe will be provided for these events."

"This is all so unbelievable. I was just supposed to get the coffee."

Cordy smiled. "Well, you'll still be doing that, but now you should have some extra cash on the side. I take care of my girls, Buffy, and this is a hard business. There are a select few that can make a career out of it."

"Well, that's okay. I'm totally not expecting a career. I'm actually going back to college in the fall, but this is a wonderful opportunity."

"Great, then I'll let Doyle get around to taking those pictures," she said, heading for the door. "Oh, by the way."

Buffy turned as Cordy whirled back around.

"There's going to be this black-tie event a week from this Saturday. Clear your calendar."

Buffy nodded as Doyle began taking some test shots. This was going to be an interesting summer.

Chapter 2

Buffy stood nervously in front of her mirror the next Saturday, fidgeting nervously with her dress. The royal blue satin clung to her figure in a seductive manner that Buffy was not entirely comfortable with. She apprehensively tugged at the straps in an attempt to hide the considerable amount of her cleavage that was showing. Pulling on the fabric one more time to no avail, Buffy sighed and adjusted the long skirt. Even in her matching high heels, the material still brushed along the floor, only adding to Buffy's anxiety that she would trip and make a fool of herself. She wore minimal make-up, only accenting her large hazel eyes and her full lips. When she heard the buzzer to her apartment, she glanced out the window and saw the chauffeur standing at the front door. Grabbing her purse, Buffy headed out the door and down the stairs to the waiting limo.

Pulling up to a huge building a few minutes later, Buffy gratefully smiled as the chauffeur helped her from the car and began the long climb up the steps to the beautiful building. Finally reaching the doors, she gave another smile to one of the doormen as she handed him her invitation. Entering the building, Buffy gasped and felt suddenly out of place in the magnificent ballroom.

A huge crystal chandelier hung from the middle of the ceiling. Looking around the room, Buffy noticed the round tables bordering the room, leaving the middle open for people to dance to the live band. This was not what she expected.

Walking over to the bar at the back of the room, Buffy accepted a glass of champagne and sipped it as she scrutinized the rest of the people in the area. Suddenly feeling like a little kid in her mother's clothes, Buffy nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She bit her lip as she stared around the room, hoping to spot Doyle, whom she knew would make an effort to help her fit in. Buffy jumped slightly as she felt someone's breath tickling her ear.

"You look lost, luv."

Buffy turned to see the owner of the voice and had to stop her jaw from dropping at the man standing next to her. His bleached hair was slicked back, and he had such angular cheekbones- Buffy thought he must be a model. Looking at his lips, Buffy felt herself leaning forward slightly, wondering what they would feel like on hers.

"Not lost," she replied. "Just out of place."

"Yeah, I know the feeling, pet," he said, taking a sip of his own champagne. "So, who invited you to this little celebration?"

"Um, Cordelia Chase."

"Aaah, the famous Miss Chase. So, you must be the new one."

"New one?"

"Model, pet. Everyone's talking about you, how Cordy hand-picked the file girl."

Buffy felt a flash of anger as he made her job sound so demeaning. "Well, at least I wasn't working a street corner when she found me."

"Easy, kitten," he said with a smile on his face. "Retract the claws. I was simply making a statement."

"I'm sorry," she said with an apologetic smile. "I'm just a little on edge tonight. This isn't what I'm used to."

"And what would you be used to, pet?"

"On a Saturday? Oh, usually I have to wade through the men beating down the door and choose a feasible date out of the herd," she said with a teasing smile. Her smile only grew when she saw the flash of jealousy cross his features. "I'm kidding. Saturday night is usually pizza and a video rental and then a late night discussion with my mom."

The man raised an eyebrow. "That's a little hard to believe, luv."

"Believe what you want, but I assure you, the second scenario is much more believable than the first."

"I think I'm happy to hear that. I'm Spike, by the way."

"Buffy Summers," she said, holding out her hand and gasping when he took it to plant a gentle kiss on the top. "So.did you say you know Cordy?"

"Oh yeah. The two of us go way back. Didn't always get along, but I think we've settled in a comfortable love/hate relationship."

It was Buffy's turn for the stab of jealousy. If Spike wanted a woman like Cordelia Chase, then Buffy Summers was the polar opposite.

"Oh," she said softly as she heard her name called. Turning, she saw Cordy heading toward them.

"Speak of the devil," she said under her breath.

"Buffy, I'm so glad you made it," she said, giving Buffy a friendly hug.

"Wouldn't have missed it," Buffy said, pasting a smile on her face.

"What? Don't I get a hug?" Spike said from beside Buffy.

Cordelia turned and looked at the owner of the voice.

"So you made it, too," she said with less enthusiasm. "And what have you done to your hair? I thought you were over the whole Billy Idol phase. How do you ever expect to be successful if people can't even take you seriously when they look at you?"

Buffy watched the pair in front of her with interest.

"Well, not all of us have a horde of people to make decisions for us on a daily basis. Besides, I do just fine, if I do say so myself."

"Spike, you're a lawyer. You're supposed to be representing the street punks, not turning into one. I mean, how does that reflect on me?"

Buffy was now staring at them in confusion.

"It doesn't reflect on you at all, princess. And are you really trying to make a scene in front of all of these fancy people, including, I might add, your newest addition?"

Cordelia seemed to remember Buffy and spun around to see her.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry. My manners are shot whenever I'm around this idiot," she said, gesturing to Spike.

Spike scoffed. "The day you have manners is the day I sprout wings and fly back to the mother country."

Cordelia rewarded him with a glare before facing Buffy again. "So, I see you've met my brother."

Chapter 3


Buffy stared at the two in confusion. Brother? How was he her brother?

Cordelia interpreted Buffy’s confused look. “Actually, half-brother.”

“But, you're British,” she said, gesturing to Spike.

“That’s the non-half, luv,” he said with a smirk.

“Same father, different mothers,” Cordy explained. “Spike spent most
of his time growing up in England before he moved here to finish out high
school and has been a permanent pain in my ass ever since.”

“Hey,” he said indignantly.

“Well,” Cordy continued, ignoring her brother. “If you’ll excuse me, I
need to be making the rounds.”

Buffy turned to face Spike. “Brother?”

“Yep. William Chase at your service. Can’t quite get it through your
head, can you?”

“It’s just, you’re both so different.”

“Not really. Just have to scratch the surface a little bit. We’re
both passionate about our work, both have a temper, and we both watch out
for the other.”

“That part must be more cleverly hidden,” she said with a grin.

Spike smiled, gently swirling the champagne in his glass. “She’s my
little sister. I gotta be on the look out for her. Although, she definitely
doesn’t need protecting. The girl’s got a mean streak.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Care to dance, pet?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Spike took her glass from her and set it down on a nearby table with
his own. Taking her by the hand, he lead her out onto the dance floor and
wrapped her in his strong arms. Both felt the electricity that seemed
to crackle between them as they held each other close.

Spike looked deep into Buffy’s eyes before he spoke. “So, why does
someone like you want to become a model?”

“Quick cash.”

Spike laughed. “At least you’re honest.”

“Seriously, I don’t. Cordy approached me, and it was all a whirlwind.
She’s sold a couple of pictures, and here I am.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“I want to be a teacher.”

“Yeah, that’s different.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve known a lot of models, and nearly all of them have told me
they were destined to be the next big thing. Not one had planned for the
next step in their lives when the cameras were pointed in another direction.”

“A lot of models, huh?”

Spike smiled. “Not in the way you’re thinking. Well…not all of them in
the way you’re thinking. So, what do you want to teach?”

“Kids. I love the age around kindergarten when they’re so open and
willing to learn, and they just look up at you with those big eyes that are
trying to figure out everything as fast as they can.”

Spike looked at her for a long minute. “Like the way your eyes look now?”

Buffy blushed. “Are you calling me a child?”

“No, not exactly. It’s just you have this innocence about you.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“Depends on the circumstances, pet.”

“Like…?”

“Like…the ways of the world. Whether you’re ready to face them head on.”

“Sounds like you speak from experience.”

“I’m an associate at Wolfram and Hart. I think it’s safe to say I’ve
seen a good portion of the things that go bump in the night and the hardships
life can send your way.”
Buffy contemplated him for a minute. “And you don’t think I have what
it takes?”

“Didn’t say that, pet. I’m saying that I’m a guy approaching the
thirty-year mark, and I’m still figuring everything out.”

Buffy stayed quiet for a few minutes as one song blended into another.

“So, where do you go to school, luv?”

“UCLA.”

“Good university. My alma mater. I’m guessing you’re heading into
your junior year?”

“You’d be guessing right.”

“So, is L.A. home for you?”

“It is for now.”

“For now?”

“My mom lives in a little place called Sunnydale. It’s about two hours
away. That’s my home.”

“Home is where the heart is,” he said with a smile.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Home is where my mom is.”

“So you’re close with her?”

“Yeah. Wasn’t always that way, but she stuck through it for the awful
teen years. I think she read every book she could get her hands on that
dealt with raising an unruly teenager.”

“Didn’t picture you as a trouble maker.”

“I wasn’t. Well, not really. There just always seemed to be a fight
breaking out when I was around, and I’d try and break it up. Eventually,
people just started thinking I was the cause.”

* * * * *

After a long night, Spike drove Buffy back to her apartment.

“Not exactly the Four Seasons, but it works,” she said as he helped her
out of the car.

Spike walked her up to her door and stared at her for a minute as she
turned to face him. There was something about this girl that made him want to
hold on to her. He had never felt this way before, and it was a little
disconcerting. He knew that he had to see her again. She had such an
openness that he found refreshing.

“Can I take you out to dinner next week?”

Buffy smiled shyly, looking at the floor. “I’d like that.” Raising her
eyes to meet his, she saw him smile.

“Great, how about Friday at eight?”

“Sounds good.”

“I’ll see you then.” Spike slowly tilted her chin up and leaned
forward, lightly caressing her lips with his own before pulling away. She’s had
more passionate kisses in her life, but this one made her feel light-headed
as he stepped back and started down the stairs. With a giddy smile, Buffy
let herself in her apartment. As soon as the door shut behind her, she
hopped up and down like an excited little girl.

Chapter 4


Throughout the week, Buffy thought Friday would never get there. Now
that it was ten minutes before her date, she began wondering where the time
went as she frantically searched for her other shoe. Finally finding it
under her bed, Buffy slipped it on and gave herself a quick appraisal. She
was wearing a short black skirt and a dark red shirt that had a glitter
substance in the fabric to make it shimmer when she moved. It fitted
her like a halter without the cleavage. The neckline of the shirt came up
to her throat and tied, leaving her upper back and arms bare. She had
curled her hair and secured one side with a silver barrette and added silver
hoop earrings.

When the doorbell rang, Buffy felt a fresh batch of nerves hit her.
Answering the door, she smiled at Spike, wearing a pair of black pants, black button-up shirt, and a black leather. Much different than
the tux he had worn the other night, but he still looked just as good. She
watched him as he looked her up and down appraisingly.

“I take it you don’t like color,” she said, teasing him.

“Why should I wear something else when I look damn good in this?” he
replied with a joking smile. “You ready to go, luv?”

“Ready and able,” she said, locking her door as she followed him out.
Spike reached for her hand as they walked out of the building, “So where are
we going?”

“I figured we’d get something to eat. Maybe see where the evening takes us.”

“Sounds good,” she said as he held the car door open for her.

* * * * *

Later, Spike and Buffy sat in a corner booth of a nice Italian restaurant
with plates of fettuccini and spaghetti. He had to smile at her as she
continuously tried to wrap a noodle around her fork and it kept
slipping off. After the third try, she finally attacked it with the utensil and
sucked it into her mouth. Buffy looked at him sheepishly as she chewed
and tried not to giggle as he did the same thing.

“Okay,” she said after a few minutes. “I’ve told you about me- now you
get to tell me about yourself.”

“Not much to tell. I lived in England with my mum for seventeen years.
Came here every summer to visit my dad and Cordy. When mum passed away, I moved here and finished school and became a lawyer.”

“So your mom died when you were a teenager?”

Spike nodded.

“That must have been horrible!”

“It was a long time ago. I try and remember the good times.”

“So what about you and Cordy? Do you keep in touch?”

“We try and get together a few times a month. Our father’s a bastard,
so we only visit him around his birthday or Christmas if he’s not flying
somewhere with his newest secretary.”

“What about Cordy’s mom?”

“They got divorced a few years ago. Apparently, they didn’t agree on my
father’s affairs. She’s better off without him. What about your parents?”

“Well…Mom lives in Sunnydale and runs an art gallery there. She and my
dad got divorced when I was a sophomore in high school.”

“And your dad?”

“He’s been MIA for the past couple of years. Last I heard, he was here,
but he could be in Spain with his own secretary for all I know.”

“Well now, there’s something we have in common.”

“Yep, the wonderful world of deadbeat dads.”

Spike smiled. “You wanna head out?”

“Sure, where’d you have in mind?”

“There’s a place I know. Great view of the city. Thought we could go
there and talk.”

Buffy nodded and stood from the booth as Spike left some bills on the
table. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he glared at any man who
dared to look at her while she was with him.

* * * * *

Buffy gasped as the lights of the city came into view. They were on a
hill overlooking L.A., and Buffy could barely believe how beautiful it was.
Spike, on the other hand, was busy watching Buffy’s reaction as she
stared in awe.

“Like it, luv?”

“It’s beautiful,” she said softly.

Spike slowly stepped behind her, slipping his arms around his waist.
“You know, I could say something like, ‘It’s not half as beautiful as you
are’, but something tells me you’d laugh at me.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” she said with a smile, turning around
in his arms.

Spike stared at her for a minute, gently stroking her hair, as he looked
in her eyes.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered huskily.

“You don’t even know me,” she replied, fidgeting a little at his serious tone.

“I know enough. I know what made Buffy Summers the woman she is today.”

“Do you? ‘Cause I’m not sure I even know.”

Spike smiled and slowly dipped his head lower, capturing her lips in a
soft kiss. Bringing his hands higher on her back to pull her closer to him,
Buffy moaned into his mouth as her own hands rubbed the hard muscles of
his chest. Spike began to deepen the kiss as Buffy pulled away, disentangling
herself from his grasp before looking up into his eyes.

“I think we should probably go,” she said softly.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” she said, vigorously shaking her head. “It’s just…we should probably go.”

Spike nodded and went around to open the car door for her. The ride
back to her apartment was made in silence as Spike pulled up to the curb.
Turning off the ignition, Spike turned to face her. “Buffy…if I did something
wrong, I’m sorry.”

“Spike, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just…I have these feelings
and…I don’t go that far on the first date…and I wanted to.”

Spike suddenly realized what she was talking about and gave her a
gentle smile. “Okay, luv.”

Walking her up to her door, he gave her a chaste kiss and pulled back. “Can
we go out again?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Great. I’ll call you at work on Monday. We can work out when and
where.”

“Okay.”

“Good night, Buffy,” he whispered, giving her another sweet kiss before
walking away.

Chapter 5


Every head in the Wolfram and Hart lobby turned as a very angry
brunette stormed through. Heading for the stairs in the middle of the lobby,
Cordelia Chase quickly climbed them until she reached the second floor.
Promptly walking to the set of wooden doors against one wall, Cordy
passed Spike’s secretary without so much as a second glance. Pushing through the doors to his office, both Spike and his co-worker looked up at the
intrusion.

“William Chase!”

“Uh oh, mate. Sis is using both names- you best get outta here and
save yourself,” Spike said as his friend made his way around the angry woman
and out the door.

“Cordelia, what can I do for you this fine day?”

“You’re dating Buffy Summers?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Love ‘em and leave ‘em Chase is dating one of my employees?”

“I’ve already said yes, Cordy, and to be fair, I’m not the only one with
that nickname.”

Cordy glared at her brother as she went to sit on one of the couches
next to the windows. “Spike, we had a deal. No dating each other’s co-workers
or friends. It gets weird when you end it, and then the girl always comes
crying to me, wondering what she did wrong.”

“Who says it’s going to end?”

Cordelia merely arched a sculpted eyebrow at her brother.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Spike…” she said in a warning tone.

“Look, I like this girl, and I don’t want to give her up.”

“Spike, I like her, too, which is exactly why I don’t want to see her
get hurt when you get tired of her.”

“Cordelia, why don’t you spend more time worrying about your love life
and less time obsessing about mine?”

“Okay,” she said with a smile. “You know, I’ve had my eye on that hot
friend of yours who just left.”

“Angel? No, Cordy.”

“What do you mean ‘No’?”

“I mean just what I said- no. My sister is not dating a man who makes
my dating record look like a priest’s.”

“You’re exaggerating, Spike.”

“No, Cordelia.”

“We’ll see,” she said with a smile, gracefully exiting his office.

Chapter 6


Buffy began seeing Spike a few nights each week. They were having a
good time. Buffy was getting better at her job and looking forward to
school starting in a week. Cordelia had sold several photos to some magazines, and Buffy had posed a few more times, gaining a nice profit for her work. Spike, on the other hand, was haunted by what his sister had said to him a few weeks ago.

Tonight, they were enjoying a simple walk through her neighborhood, hand
in hand, after eating dinner in a restaurant a few blocks away from her
place. As they approached her apartment building, Buffy took the first few
steps up to the door before turning to look down at Spike. As he stared at her,
he realized he should let her go. He wasn’t ready to settle down, and
Buffy deserved more than he had to offer. All thoughts immediately left his
head as she leaned forward and kissed him softly. As the kiss grew in
intensity, Spike felt his arms wrap around her waist to pull her closer. Breaking
away, breathless after a few minutes, Buffy looked at Spike with wide hazel eyes.

“Do you want to come up?”

Spike gulped, not sure of his answer. Before he had a chance to think
about it, he found himself nodding as she smiled and turned to lead him to
her apartment.

When the door shut behind him, he felt an overwhelming sense of fear.
He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be using this wonderful girl the way
he was. He knew Cordy was right, but it went beyond that. Buffy deserved
a life he couldn’t offer her. He was 29 years old, and she was still in
college. The thoughts were flitting through his head as she led him to
her bedroom.

“Buffy…maybe we shouldn’t-“ His protest was cut off as her lips pressed
to his. Partly out of reflex and partly out of wanting for this woman,
Spike felt his hands drift to the zipper on the back of her dress and slowly
tugged it down. He pulled away from her to gently slip the dress from her body,
growing instantly hard at the feel of her naked back against his
fingertips. He looked at her body in amazement as she stood before him, clad only in a black lace thong. Buffy reached up to cross her arms over her chest
modestly, trying to cover herself.

Spike pulled her hands away as he kissed along her jaw line, whispering
huskily, “Don’t, luv, you’re beautiful.”

Quickly shedding his clothes as she laid down on the bed, Spike crawled
along the covers, meeting her lips once more with a passionate kiss.

“Are you sure, baby?”

Buffy nodded as Spike reached for his wallet to remove a condom. Quickly
rolling it on, he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed into
her body. Spike froze when he was covered by her tight folds, staring down
at her in disbelief as she looked up with tears in her eyes.

“You should have told me, luv,” he whispered, leaning down to nuzzle
her neck.

“I’m sorry,” she said tearily.

“Don’t be sorry. I just wish I’d have known so it wouldn’t hurt as much. Relax, Buffy, I’ll make it good for you, luv.”

He waited until she slowly calmed down before gently moving inside of
her. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Spike bent down to kiss her. He
smiled when Buffy arched against him, seeking her release.

“Spike…I need more…”

Spike plunged deeper into her wet depths as her cries intensified in
pleasure. Speeding up his thrusts, Spike reached one hand in between
their slick bodies to flick a finger over the bundle of nerves before pressing
down against it. Buffy bucked against him as she screamed out her powerful
orgasm, slowly coming down from the high as Spike pushed into her with
several more thrusts, quickly finding his own release and collapsing on
top of her.

Rolling away from her, he deposited the condom in the trash can next to
the bed and turned back to pull her against his chest.

“I love you.” The whispered words were so soft, Spike almost didn’t
believe she had said them.

“What was that, luv?”

With passion-filled eyes, Buffy turned to him. “I love you.”

Panic hit Spike from nowhere as he bolted off the bed and quickly
looked for his clothes.

“Spike?” Buffy sat up in bed, pulling the sheet with her.

“You don’t love me, Buffy,” he growled as he fastened the belt to his
pants.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Spike, what’s going on? I thought you liked me?”

“That’s just it, Buff.” She cringed at the tone he used on her seldomly- used nickname. “I like you. This was all just supposed to be for fun. There
wasn’t supposed to be any confusion and love thrown into the mix.”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “Might have helped if you’d filled me
in on this little plan of yours.”

“I know, Buffy, I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You
don’t love me.”

“Who are you to tell me what I feel?” she asked in disgust. “You don’t
know anything about me.”

“Oh, I know you, Buffy. I know you’re a scared little girl who doesn’t
know what she wants.”

“Who have you been listening to? Because that certainly didn’t come from
the conversations we had.”

“Buffy, I’m the first guy you’ve ever slept with. You don’t know if I’m the
one for you. You can’t know what love is.”

“Well, thanks for clearing it up for me,” she said sarcastically. “I
feel much better now. I guess the answer to this problem is for me to go
out and sleep with a bunch of guys to get you to look at me again!”

Spike closed his eyes and clenched his teeth as he tried to reign in
his emotions. “You don’t want me. You can do better than me.”

“Yeah, that’s becoming glaringly obvious!”

“Don’t do this. I don’t want it to end this way, luv.”

“DO NOT call me ‘luv’.”

“Buffy-“

“No, I don’t want to hear your excuses. I know what you want. You
want to be free and sleep around with as many women as you can. Well, guess what? You get your wish.”

“Buffy, it’s not like that. I’m almost thirty years old- you’re not
even twenty-one yet. I want you to finish college, become what you want
to be, before you settle on anyone!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Spike. I didn’t know falling in love was ‘settling’. My mistake.”

Getting up from the bed, pulling the sheet with her, Spike felt the
sudden urge to pull her into his arms but knew he would be met with a slap in
the face. They stood staring at each other for a few moments- Buffy
wishing he would say that he loved her, Spike wishing she had never told him.
Shaking her head slightly, Buffy moved to push past him as he grabbed her arm.

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” she said, not looking at him.

“I didn’t use you, Buffy.”

“Really? I would hate to see how I would feel right now if you had.”

Spike closed his eyes at the hateful words. “I do care for you.”

“Get out.”

“Buffy-“

“You heard me,” she said quietly. “You could only say one thing to
make this better, and I know there’s not a chance in hell of hearing it. So
I want you to leave.”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Spike…I just want to be alone right now,” she said in a choked voice.

Spike stared into her tear-filled eyes and felt his heart aching to
make it better. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to lie to her, and he didn’t
want to cause her any more pain. Nodding, he made his way to the door,
leaving her behind. His heart twisted as he heard her anguish-filled sobs from
the other side. He wanted nothing more than to go back to her, but he knew
he couldn’t. She deserved more out of life than him.

Chapter 7


Buffy entered the Chase Agency on Monday with slightly swollen eyes,
concealed as much as she could with her eye make-up. Bypassing the
room used to clock-in, Buffy took the elevator to the top floor. Entering
Cordelia’s office, her boss looked up with a smile.

“Buffy…what can I do for you?”

“Well, Cordy, I kind of needed to talk to you about something.”

“Oh no! Spike broke up with you, didn’t he?”

“How did you…something like that,” she said with a little half-smile,
trying to mask her feelings.

“Buffy, I’m so sorry. My brother can be a real jerk sometimes,” Cordy
said, coming around to stand in front of her employee.

“Yeah…I figured that out.”

“Look…before you ask me…I try not to get involved in his affairs. I
mean, sometimes I do, but usually what he says goes, so I just leave him
alone.”

“No, that’s not it. I know he meant what he said.” Buffy swallowed hard as
she began to get choked up again. “I just came to tell you that I’m quitting.”

Cordelia’s jaw dropped in shock. “Buffy, no. Don’t leave just because
of him. He never even comes here. Well, hardly ever, and anyway, you’re
just starting out. You could have a whole career ahead of you.”

“I know. And I appreciate all the opportunities you’ve given me, really I
do. It’s just…I need a clean break. I don’t want to be a model. I’m going
to focus on school- the new semester starts a week from today, and my
mom said she would help me out until I graduated.”

Cordy stared at the woman in front of her for a long minute before
responding, “I’m really gonna miss you, Buffy. I was hoping we’d get
to be better friends.”

“Yeah, me too…but I need to do this.”

Cordelia nodded, turning to look at a schedule on her desk.

“I’m sorry to leave you in a bind, Cordy. I can work the rest of the day if
you want me to.”

“No, it’s okay. Your shifts were already being downsized with school
starting again. I’m just sorry about my brother.”

“Yeah…me too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not much to tell. I said something stupid that I shouldn’t have, and
he got scared. After a heated discussion, he left. I don’t expect to see
him again.”

* * * * *

For the second time that summer, Cordelia Chase stormed through Wolfram
and Hart. This time it was not for a semi-friendly chat with her big
brother. Bursting through his office doors, Spike looked up from the drink in
his hand and sighed when he looked up to see her angry face.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Pleasure to see you, too, Cordy.”

“Skip the chitchat, Spike, and tell me what the hell your problem is.”

“I’m guessing you’ve had a nice talk with my ex.”

“Something like that. And for the record, using the word ‘ex’ is not
going to make you feel better after the crap you pulled.”

“So she told you.”

“That she told you she loved you, and you got scared and ran out like a
dog with your tail between your legs?”

Spike’s eyes snapped up to hers at the description.

“Actually,” she continued. “No. She didn’t tell me.”

“Then how-“

“You really don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the gist
of what happened. She said something and you left. Yeah, I think I can
figure it out. I probably would have eventually, even if she hadn’t said
anything.”

“Listen, Cordelia-“

“No, you listen, Spike! I lost a perfectly good employee because you
couldn’t keep it in your pants.”

“What do you mean you lost an employee?”

“Oh! Did I forget to mention the best part?” she asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, Buffy came in and quit today. Seems she doesn’t want anything
to do with you or your family.”

“She said that?” he asked with a hurt expression.

“She didn’t have to. I figured coming into my office and quitting after you
broke her heart pretty much summed it up.”

“I didn’t want that to happen,” he said quietly, his eyes on the floor.

“Well, guess what? It did. I tried to warn you against this, but nooooo.
Mr. Big Shot lawyer can’t be bothered with the mundane things like, oh,
I don’t know…listening to his sister!”

“Cordelia, you’re being a little melodramatic.”

“So what if I am? You screwed up, buddy.”

“Well, what do you want me to do? You’re the one who told me to end
it!”

“Yeah, before anything started, not following your usual pattern. And
is that why you broke up with her? Because if that’s the reason, then I’m
so gonna have to kick your ass,” she said with an arched eyebrow.

“No,” Spike said through gritted teeth. “I broke up with her because
she can do better than me. The girl hasn’t lived, Cordelia. She’s led a
sheltered life, and if she stayed with me, she’d regret it down the road.”

“Says who, Spike?” she asked, her voice finally softening.

“Says me, that’s who.”

“Spike, you’re a great guy. She would be lucky to have you, and I’m not
the only one who thinks so. She misses you…and I think you miss her, too.”

“I’m not going back to her, Cordelia.”

“I didn’t expect you to, but, Spike, sooner or later, you’re going to have to stop this path you’re on. And I want you to think about what you want when
you decide it’s time to settle down. Buffy’s not the only one who’s
been sheltered- it’s just you’ve led a different kind of sheltered where
you’re comforted by women and money. Eventually, she’s going to move on, and you’re going to miss your chance. It’s time you got over your past issues, William.”

Without another word, Cordy got up and left the office, leaving her
brother behind to contemplate what he wanted out of his own life.

Chapter 8

2 Months Later


Buffy walked off the UCLA campus relieved. She had passed all of her
midterms, and now she was going home to see her mom for fall break. She
hadn’t seen her since the week before the semester started when she had
decided she needed a trip home to help her heal after the Spike fiasco.

Her mother had listened sympathetically to the edited version of the
story, making Buffy hot chocolate and smoothing her hair like she used to do
when Buffy was a little girl. Buffy had already bought the bus ticket home
and was now heading back to her apartment to pack. As she neared her
building, Buffy was shocked to see a familiar face waiting outside.

“Giles?”

“Buffy,” the older man said softly as he stood up. Buffy and her
mother had been friends with Giles since they moved to Sunnydale.

“What’re you doing here? I thought this was a busy time of year at the
Magic Box.”

“Buffy, I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

”What’s wrong? Is everything okay? Is mom alright?”

“Maybe we should go inside.”

“No, Giles, tell me what’s wrong.”

Giles took a deep breath. “Buffy…your mother passed away yesterday.”

Buffy stood frozen in place.

“No,” she whispered. “No, y-you’ve got it wrong. Mom…mom is fine.
I-I talked to her the other day, and she was f-fine.”

“I’m so sorry, Buffy,” Giles said tearfully.

“Mommy,” Buffy whispered, sounding like a lost little girl.

“Let’s go inside.”

Buffy nodded and let herself be led to her apartment.

“What happened?” she asked once they were inside.

“We hadn’t seen each other for a while, and we were to meet for dinner.
When she didn’t show up at the restaurant, I went to the house and found her
on the couch. The doctors…they said there was nothing anybody could have
done.”

“How…what was wrong?” Buffy asked, almost feeling as if shock was
setting in.

Giles took off his glasses and wiped them clean before continuing,
“Buffy…she’s been fighting a brain tumor since the first of the year.”

“What? But she never…she never told me anything.”

“She didn’t want to worry you. She’d been in remission for the past
few months, and she wanted you to focus on school.”

Buffy felt fresh tears stream down her cheeks as Giles wrapped her in a
comforting hug.

“I need to get home, Giles. I-I should be there.”

“I’ll drive you. I made all of the funeral arrangements. I didn’t
think you should be burdened with it at this time.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, walking away to go pack her things.

* * * * *

The next few days were a blur for Buffy. The constant ache that she felt
never left her- she didn’t feel whole. Both Buffy and Giles had tried
numerous times to locate Hank Summers to no avail, leaving Buffy to feel more
like an orphan. She had no family left. Her friend Willow Rosenburg had
flown in for the funeral but had to leave and get back to school at Stanford.

Xander Harris, who went to UCLA with Buffy, was there with her through
half of the break, but he had to get back to Los Angeles so he wouldn’t
lose his job.

Giles had been there for Buffy through the entire ordeal. Now as she
sat in the office of her mother’s lawyer Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, she suddenly
wished she had taken Giles up on his offer to be present.

“Miss Summers, I was so sorry to hear about your mother. She was a
lovely woman.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “But please, call me Buffy.”

“Alright, well, I’m afraid I have some distressing news. Your mother’s
insurance policy was a very good one, but I’m afraid it doesn’t help us
at this time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Buffy, your mother didn’t plan on all of the medical bills, and by the
time she realized her monetary problems, no other insurance company would
give her an extra policy. She was paying off what she could, but as it
was, there’s not even enough money left to pay off the funeral home for the
burial and other necessities.”

Buffy sat contemplating what he had just told her. “So…you’re telling
me that my mom was broke…and now I have to pay off the bills?”

“Precisely.”

“How much?”

“We can get into the figures later-“

“How much?” she repeated, cutting him off.

“One hundred thousand and change.”

Buffy felt as though she was going to pass out.

“How is that possible?” she asked, trying to catch her breath.

“Your mother had to have numerous surgeries, check-ups, medication,
x-rays, and she was also in the hospital for many overnight stays. She was
arranging to pay off the debt a little at a time, but now that she’s
passed…” Wesley trailed off, letting Buffy draw her own conclusions.

“This can’t be happening,” Buffy said in disbelief.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry to be the bearer of such bad news, and
I would like you to know I’m waving my fee.”

Buffy smiled gratefully at the older man. “Thank you.” Taking a few
deep breaths, she asked, “So what now?”

“Well, there are two options that are more appealing than the rest.
The first is you continue to do what your mother was doing. Pay off the
debt in small increments and-“

“And be in debt for the rest of my life,” Buffy supplied for him.

“As unappealing as that sounds, it is the choice most people would
make.”

“What’s the second?”

“Sell your possessions. Your mother’s partner at the art gallery has
already offered to buy out her percentage of the business.”

Buffy nodded. “That sounds like a good plan. I wouldn’t have any idea
what to do with it.”

“That will pay for the funeral costs and a few of the smaller hospital
bills. Another option is to sell your house.”

“My home?”

“Yes. As painful as that may sound, your mother refused to take out a
mortgage on it. She said that she had bought it and would not pay off
her medical bills only to be in debt with the bank.”

“If I sell it…would that pay it all off?”

“If the house goes for its appraisal value, there would only be a few
thousand dollars left on the bill.”

Buffy nodded in understanding as she stared down at the floor. “Which
means I’d have to sell the car, too.”

“You don’t have to sell anything, Buffy. It is entirely your decision.”

“It’s just as well,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t drive that much
anyway. What about school?”

“This semester is paid for, but after that…well, that’s up to you.
What about scholarships?”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head.

“Student loans?”

“That may be my only option.”

“Take a few days and think it over.”

“I don’t need a few days. I’ll do it.”

“Buffy, this is your home we’re talking about.”

“No…I don’t have a home anymore. Being there is too hard, now that
she’s…I have what’s important. I have memories and pictures and things that
were special to her. Sell the house, Wesley."

Chapter 9


By the time Christmas break rolled around, Buffy was exhausted. The
house and car had both sold rather quickly, and Buffy had paid off the debts
that were owed. She had finished up with school, and although it was
Christmas break to most of the other students at UCLA, to her it was good-bye.
She was still staying in Los Angeles since she really didn’t have a place
to go. Instead of taking out a student loan, Buffy had gotten a job as a
waitress at Caritas where Xander was a bartender. She had decided to
save her money and try to go back to school in the fall, but for now, she was
focusing on working.

Buffy had briefly thought of going back to Cordelia and asking her for
a second chance. She knew Cordy would help her out, but that would be
like rubbing salt in a wound still too fresh for her liking.

No, Buffy had asked Xander to put in a good word for her, and now she
had a job in a halfway decent environment. The tips were good, even if the
uniforms weren’t that great for working in.

‘If you could even call it a uniform,’ Buffy thought as she clocked in
for her night shift. Catching a glimpse of herself in the tiny mirror of
the office, she gave her reflection a half-hearted smile. Her boss Lorne
was a decent guy. He was only at Caritas on weekends, and he made it a very
comfortable environment to work in. Lorne looked out for his employees,
especially the waitresses. Never overstepping the bounds, he had taken
a shine to Buffy and was becoming as overprotective toward her as Xander
was.

Now, Buffy pulled her long hair up off her neck, twisting it and
pinning it in place with a few pins. Letting the curls spill out of the top of
the little knot she had created, she smiled at Lorne as he walked in the
room.

“Hey, cupcake,” he greeted as he walked over to his desk, which was in
the same room. Glancing up at Buffy, he smiled. “You should be a
hairdresser with that fancy little ‘do of yours.”

“I learned from the best,” Buffy said, smiling at the thought of Doyle,
as she grabbed her small white apron.

“Go knock ‘em dead,” Lorne said as Buffy headed out of the office.

“Don’t I always,” she said with a smile as she passed through the door.
Grabbing a tray from behind the bar, Buffy gave a little wave to Xander
as she headed to her first table of the night.

Buffy smiled and flirted with the male customers, most of them regulars. If there was one thing she had learned when she started working here, it was a smile would go a long way in order to get the better tips.

Halfway through her shift, Buffy stepped behind the bar, standing next
to Xander as he mixed a drink.

“Why the long face, Buffster?”

“No reason,” she said. “Just ready to finish up, I guess.”

“I hear ya. It’s packed tonight.”

“Friday night in a karaoke bar. At least the tips are on the good
side,” she replied as she straightened her black mini-skirt. Lorne had one
rule for the girls- they must wear color. Black skirts with bright tops was the template. Whether it was a spaghetti-strapped tank top or a tube top, he
didn’t care as long as it was bright. He said it helped set the ambiance for
the club. Buffy was fine with that. Every night she went to work, she
felt like she was going out to a dance club. It was much better than a
polyester uniform. Tonight, she had chosen a hot pink spaghetti-strap shirt to go
with her skirt and stylish black knee-high boots.

“So what’s up for you after work, Buff?”

“Oh, you know me. The usual hot date.”

Xander gave her a questioning look.

“Yep,” she continued. “A movie with my guys…Ben and Jerry.”

Xander smiled. “So what’s on the menu tonight?”

“I believe that would be chocolate fudge brownie.”

Both enjoyed a laugh as two new customers caught her eye. Buffy made
eye contact, and her smile immediately faded as she looked into the blue
eyes that she hadn’t seen in months. Spike.

* * * * *

Spike walked into the bar with his friend Lindsey McDonald after working a late night. All he wanted to do was go home and relax, but Lindsey had managed to convince him to spend the night out.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” he muttered. “And if
you think that I’m going to soddin’ sing, you’ve got another thing…”

Spike trailed off as he glanced up at the bar and saw the woman who had
been the object of his thoughts for the past five months.

“Bloody hell.”

Lindsey looked over at his friend and followed his eye-line to the bar.
“Pretty girl,” he said, taking in the view. He watched with interest
as the girl appeared to be flirting with the bartender and laughing as Spike
glared at the man she was talking to. When the girl looked up and
caught Spike’s eye, Lindsey watched as her smile instantly faded. Looking at
his friend with interest, Lindsay raised an eyebrow. “One night stand?”

“Somethin’ like that,” he said as his eyes never left Buffy. Spike
watched as she said something to the bartender, leaning closer to him, which he
felt comfortable with, and no way was he going to analyze the feelings of
jealousy coursing through him.

Buffy grabbed a pen and headed over to the table. “What can I get
you?”

“Hello, Buffy,” Spike said.

“Spike.” She barely glanced at him in acknowledgement.

“What’re you doin’ here, pet?”

“What’s it look like? I’m working.”

“You know what I mean, Buffy. Why are you working here, and what the
hell are you wearing!” he demanded as he comprehended what she had on.

“For money, and I’m going to ignore the other comment. Now that your
questions are answered, are you gonna order or not?”

Lindsey, who had been watching with interest, spoke up. “Hi, I’m
Lindsey McDonald, I work with Spike.”

Buffy shook the hand he offered and replied, “I won’t hold that against
you, Mr. McDonald.”

Lindsey laughed at the nerve of this girl. Not many people crossed
Spike, and it was always a pleasure to meet someone who wasn’t scared of his
imposing demeanor, especially if she was barely over five feet tall.

“We’ll take a couple of beers.”

Buffy nodded and walked away. Spike stared after her as she turned her
back to them and leaned over the bar to tell the man what she needed. He
felt another flash of jealousy as her skirt slid up her shapely legs and
nearly every man in the bar turned to stare at the view.

“So, what’s the story, Spike?”

“No story, mate,” he replied, never taking his eyes off the blonde.

“Come on. Hostility like that, and you didn’t do something to piss her
off?”

“Nothing worth mentioning.”

Lindsey nodded. He knew what happened anyway. It was the same thing
that happened with every girlfriend Spike had. He got his enjoyment out of
the relationship and left.

Lindsey looked up as Buffy put a beer in front of him. “Thanks, darlin’.”

She gave him a bright smile. “No problem.”

Both men stared as she turned, and with a sway of her hips, made her way
back to the bar.

“I’ll be right back,” Spike said, standing up and heading over to her.

“Buffy.”

Buffy turned and raised an eyebrow at him in response.

“Why are you working here, pet?”

“I already told you.”

“Don’t play coy with me, luv. You know what I mean.”

“Spike, there’s nothing to tell. I got a job, I needed the extra
cash.”

“What about your mum? I thought she was helping you out.” He watched
as an unidentifiable expression flashed on her face.

“Things don’t always work out the way you plan.” Buffy turned away from him
and headed off to check on another table.

* * * * *

Spike and Lindsey stayed in the bar until midnight before heading out.
Buffy had traded tables with another waitress, much to Spike’s
frustration, and he hadn’t talked to her again.

Now, he stood outside the door of the bar, smoking a cigarette, when he
heard the door open. Buffy walked out, pulling her coat tightly around
her figure and sighed when she spotted Spike.

“What do you want?” she asked as he stubbed out his cigarette.

“To talk to you.”

“We talked. You can leave now.”

“Don’t act like this, Buffy.”

“Why shouldn’t I, Spike?”

“Please, Buffy.”

“What do you want to talk about?” she asked with a heavy sigh.

“I wanted to ask you a few questions.”

“And if I answer them, then you’ll leave?”

Spike gave an abrupt nod in response.

“Ask away,” she said as she began walking away from him.

“First of all, how are you getting home?”

“I’m walking, next question.”

“You bloody well are not! You live more than twenty blocks away!”

Buffy turned to stare at him incredulously.

“I’ll drive you, Buffy. It’s not safe.”

“I’ve been doing just fine for the past two months, and I think I run
more of a risk getting hurt by being alone with you,” she said as she began
walking again.

“Touché, luv, but it’s still not safe.”

“Think what you want, Spike. I’m not getting in a car with you.”

“Then I’m walking with you.”

“Do what you want, it’s a free country,” she muttered.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Spike continued, “If
you needed money, why wouldn’t you go work for my sister?”

“Because she’s your sister,” Buffy answered softly.

Deciding to steer away from the touchy subject, Spike changed the
topic. “What classes are you taking next semester?”

He watched with curiosity as Buffy sighed. “I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

“I’m not enrolled for next semester.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I can’t afford it.”

“And as I said before, I thought your mum-“

“My mom is dead, Spike!” She whirled to face him with tears shining in
her eyes as Spike stared at her in surprise.

“Buffy…when?”

“A few months ago,” she said, directing her gaze at the ground.

“Why didn’t you call me? I-I could’ve helped…I could have been there.”

Buffy looked at him in disbelief. “Yeah, because you’ve made such an
effort to want to be there with me.”

“Buffy, don’t-“

“Don’t what?” she asked, throwing her arms up in exasperation. “Don’t
make you feel bad? Don’t be hurt by what you did? Don’t love you? Is that
it?”

“You still love me?” he asked, not sure if he wanted to know the
answer.

Buffy’s lips hardened into a tight line. “It’s not an emotion you just
turn off.” Spinning on her heel, she quickened her pace to get home.

Spike jogged after her. “Buffy, luv, wait.” Grabbing her arm to stop
her, he stared into her sad eyes. His heart wrenched at the pain below the
surface. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, pulling her arm free and turning away
from him. “You don’t love me,” she said quietly, knowing that he was
following close by her side. “You did the right thing. I get that now. It took
me a while to figure that out, but I get it. I just have one question.”
Stopping, Buffy turned to look into his eyes. “Was it me?”

“Was what you, luv?” he asked in confusion.

“Was I not…good?”

Understanding dawned on Spike’s features as he gently reached out to
caress her cheek. “You were amazing,” he whispered huskily.

Buffy relished the feel of his hand before nodding and turning away.
She could feel his arm brushing hers as they walked in silence.

“How did it happen?” Spike asked a few minutes later.

“She had a tumor,” Buffy replied, knowing what he was asking. “She
never told me. I was going home to see her…and a family friend met me at my
apartment. Told me she’d…” Buffy trailed off with a choked up voice.

Gently resting his hand on the small of her back, Spike spoke softly,
“I’m so sorry, luv.”

Buffy nodded, getting her emotions under control. “Yeah…me too. I
just wish…I wish she was here. I wish that…that I could go home to her.”

“What about the money?” he asked when she composed herself. “Surely
the insurance-“

“Is gone,” she cut him off. “There were too many expenses. Lab work
and medical evaluations, surgeries…the works. I had her lawyer put the
house on the market. Sold the car and had just enough left over to finish this
semester. Not a lot of good it did me. I can’t say I was the best
student the past two months.”

“You had reason not to be.”

“I guess.”

“What about student loans?”

“I don’t want to be paying them off for years. I’m working at Caritas,
making decent money. Hopefully, I’ll have enough to go back in the
fall.”

“Why are you working there? Why not some place closer to home?”

“Friend of mine is the bartender. Got me the job when I needed one.
Hours are reasonable, tips are better than average, and my boss is a really
nice guy. I could have it a lot worse.”

“So you’re done with Sunnydale?”

Buffy looked at him in surprise that he remembered where she was from.
“No. Not entirely, anyway. There’s still a man that I’ll keep in touch
with. I’ll probably take a few visits a year.”

Spike felt that annoying flash of jealousy at the mention of another
man. “So, you’ll be spending Christmas with him then?” he asked curiously.

“No,” she said softly, looking at the ground. “He’s going out of town.
He visits his own family around Christmas.”

“So what are your plans?”

Buffy shrugged. “Holidays are about family. I don’t have that anymore.”

Spike felt his eyes burn as they began to water with pain for this poor
young woman.

“Look, Spike,” she said, shaking her head to try and clear out the
emotions. “I appreciate you walking me home and all, but I am a big girl. I can
make it the rest of the way. I’ve been doing it for a while now.”

“Buffy, I’m not leaving you.”

Buffy almost snorted at the irony of his statement. They made the rest
of the walk in silence, finally reaching the steps of her building.

“Thank you,” she said softly, turning to face him after climbing up a
few steps. Suddenly, memories assaulted them both of another time when
they were in the same position, under very different circumstances.

“Thank you for talking to me.” Spike’s voice had taken on a husky
quality as memories of their one and only night flooded his brain. Reflexively
taking a step closer to Buffy, he felt lost when she turned and fled through
the door. Standing on the step for a few moments to gather himself together,
Spike turned and started the long walk to his car.

Chapter 10


A few days later, Buffy was flipping through her mail as she was
getting ready to leave for work when a plain white envelope caught her eye.
Opening it up, Buffy’s eyes widened in indignation.

“That son of a bitch!” she spat out as she reached for her phone.
“Xander, it’s me…yeah, do me a favor and tell Lorne I’ll be running late…I just
have some business to take care of.”

After hanging up the phone, Buffy rushed out of her apartment, clutching
the piece of paper in her hand, slamming the door on her way.

* * * * *

Once Buffy entered the prestigious law firm, she asked for directions to
Spike’s office, or more accurately, William Chase’s office. Jogging up the
stairs in her high heels, Buffy breezed past his ditzy blonde secretary and
threw open his office door.

“You bastard!” she yelled as she caught sight of him, leaning on his
desk and laughing with two other men. Buffy recognized one from the bar the
other night but didn’t pay attention to him.

Spike raised an eyebrow as Buffy stomped over to his desk, slamming her
hand down on the wood surface. Looking down, he noticed a wrinkled check.

“What? Did you forget to leave it on the nightstand? I can’t believe you.
You sent me money! And what, may I ask, is it for, Spike? Services
rendered?”

Spike wisely stayed quiet through Buffy’s rant, noticing over her shoulder as Angel grabbed an amused Lindsey by the arm and led him out of the office, shutting the door on the way.

“Calm down, luv,” Spike said in a soothing voice.

“No! I will not calm down! Why would you do it, Spike?”

“You said you needed money- I’m giving it to you.”

“If someone asks for money, you give them twenty bucks. I never asked!
I’m doing fine without your charity, and I sure as hell don’t need you to
write me checks for thousands of dollars! I’m not some little pet project of
yours! And I really don’t appreciate being treated like a whore!”

Turning to head back to the door, she heard the amusement in Spike’s
voice. “We didn’t sleep together the other night, luv. Now, I could
understand this little scenario would be quite different if we had. Then you
could have taken it as some type of payment, but I’m sorry to tell you that this
is just me being nice.”

“No, Spike,” she said quietly as she turned to face him with her hand
on the door handle. “This was about you not feeling guilty.”

With one last look, Buffy turned and left the office. Spike didn’t
follow her. She didn’t expect he would, but it still left her a little
disappointed, which in turn, made her mad at herself. As she reached
the front door of the building, her path was blocked by a large, well-built
man in a very expensive suit. Buffy looked up at him questioningly as she
tried to remember where she’d seen him.

“Quite a little show you put on,” he said with a smile. “Haven’t seen
anyone lay into Spike like that in a long time.”

‘Oh yeah,’ she thought. ‘He was upstairs.'

“And you are?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Liam Angelus,” he said, shaking her hand. “Most people
call me Angel.”

“Pretty name,” she said. “I’m Buffy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late
for work.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Listen, I was wondering if I could ask you something?”

“And that would be?”

“There’s this restaurant opening tomorrow night, and I still don’t have
a date. I was wondering if you would allow me to escort you.”

“Listen, if this is about what happened up in Spike’s office, I’m not
that type of girl-“

“Never crossed my mind. I was just in need of a date, and I don’t think
I’ll be bored with you,” he said with a warm smile.

Buffy seemed to think about it for a minute. She hadn’t had a date in
five months, and this man wasn’t bad to look at. “Okay,” she agreed with an
answering smile. “It’s a date.”

“Great. If you’ll give me your address, I’ll pick you up at seven.
Oh, and it’s one of those boring black tie events.”

“Shouldn’t be too bad,” she said, writing her address down for him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then, Buffy.”

Chapter 12


Buffy put the finishing touches on her dress the next night as she
waited for Angel to pick her up. Making sure she looked okay, Buffy did a
little twist for the mirror, watching as the black halter dress clung to the
appropriate curves. The dress had a low cut front and was completely
backless, cutting dangerously low in the back. Even in her tall high
heels, the dress still swept lightly across the floor, with a slit up the
back.

As Buffy finished fixing her hair, which was swept up in a
twist with a few loose tendrils around her face, she heard someone buzz from
downstairs. Glancing out the window, she saw Angel and quickly buzzed
him in, grabbing her purse and her wrap as she headed for the door.

Swinging it open as Angel’s hand was poised to knock, Buffy gave him a
bright smile. “Hey!”

“Hi,” he said with an answering smile. “You look lovely.”

“Thank you.” Buffy turned to lock the door as Angel led her down the
stairs and out of the building.

Twenty minutes later, their car pulled up in front of a beautiful restaurant with ivy and numerous flowers growing along the exterior. Angel offered Buffy his arm as he led her through the throngs of people to get to the front door.

As they entered, Buffy handed her wrap over to Angel to check with his
overcoat as she stared around the building in amazement. The level
they were on appeared to not have a purpose. Instead, the floor split, with
some stairs leading downward, as the rest of level seemed to wrap around the
huge floor below, creating a balcony effect. As Angel led her to the lower
level, Buffy looked at the hard-wood floor with elegantly set tables spread
periodically throughout the vast space. A band was playing on a stage in
the back with a space set aside to use as a dance floor, which a few couples
were taking advantage of.

Angel led Buffy to a table set for eight people. Right before they arrived to sit down, Buffy saw the familiar bleach blonde head sitting next to a blonde woman.

* * * * *

Spike sat at the table, listening to the incessant whining of his date.
“Harm, why don’t you just ask for another drink if you hate that one so
much?”

“Spikey, I don’t think it’s fair that they should advertise it as having
alcohol when it clearly doesn’t.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “It’s a margarita. If you wanted more alcohol, why not
order a straight drink?”

“Eww.”

Spike had to visibly restrain himself from banging his head against the
table. Or hers. That thought brought a smile to his face. Seeing a
movement out of the corner of his eye, Spike turned slightly and saw Angel
heading toward him. Just as he was about to greet him, Spike caught
the eye of his date and froze.

“Hello, everybody,” Angel said as they got to the table. “Looks like
we’re the last ones here,” he continued as he held out Buffy’s chair for her.

Buffy smiled at him and sat down in between Spike and Angel. Under
normal circumstances, this may have been thrilling, sitting between two handsome men, but considering her
history with Spike, Buffy sat rigidly as an older man stood up and offered his
hand.

“I’m Holland Manners. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Buffy shook
his hand and smiled as she was introduced to his wife.

“I’m not sure who you know, Buffy,” Angel said. “So this is Lilah
Morgan.” Buffy smiled at the woman who looked at her coldly. “Lindsey
McDonald.”

Lindsey stood up and kissed her hand. “It’s good to see you again,
darling.”

Buffy smiled as he poured on the charm. “You, too, Mr. McDonald.”

“Oh please,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Call me Lindsey.”

Angel continued his introductions. “This is Harmony Kendall.” Buffy
turned to Spike’s date and offered a curt nod, which went ignored by the
airhead. “And of course you know, Spike.”

Buffy didn’t look at Spike as she mumbled a hello.

Spike, however, leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “Hello, luv.”
The tickling of his breath sent shivers down her spine that Buffy
repressed.

Everyone made small talk for several minutes before a client of Angel’s
came over and asked him to speak privately. Angel excused himself as Lilah
turned to face Buffy. “So, you’ve managed to snag one of L.A.’s top
bachelors for the night.”

“Is there a problem?” Buffy asked with an edge to her voice.

“You’ll have to forgive Lilah,” Lindsey spoke up. “She has this thing
with Angel where she feels like he’s hers.”

“Must be tough,” Buffy said. “To want someone who clearly doesn’t want
you.”

Spike cringed at the obvious meaning of her words before shooting
daggers at Lindsey for what he said next. “Spike, did you two work out your
differences yesterday?”

“That’s really not your concern, is it, mate?” he said in a low voice.

“Differences?” Lilah asked.

“Yeah, Buffy and Spike got into it pretty bad yesterday.”

“Oh really?” Lilah said, looking at Spike.

“Yeah,” Lindsey continued. “Apparently, there’s still a lot of unresolved
tension from the break-up.”

“You dated her?” Lilah asked incredulously.

Spike stayed silent, staring at the place-setting in front of him, while gritting his teeth. Buffy waited for something, any kind of acknowledgement. When none came, she roughly pushed her chair back and walked away.

Angel saw his date moving toward the staircase and excused himself to
chase after her. “Buffy, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Angel, but I need to go.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing for you to worry about. Thank you for inviting me, but I
think it would be best if I left.”

“Okay, let me get my car.”

“No, that’s not necessary.”

“Buffy, I’m taking you home.”

“Angel, I’m fine.”

Angel sighed. “Well, at least let me call you a cab.”

“That you can do,” she said with a smile. Buffy collected her wrap and turned to see Angel behind her.

“I’m really sorry for leaving, Angel,” Buffy said. “I mean, I agreed to come tonight and then just
abandon you.”

“It’s okay. I just wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s really nothing to worry about.”

“I’m guessing Spike fits into the equation somehow.”

“Yeah,” she said softly.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I never should have left you alone with him. I know
how he can be.”

“It wasn’t anything he said,” she replied, staring out the front windows
of the building. “It’s what he didn’t say.”

Angel stayed quiet for a few minutes until he saw the cab pull up. “Are
you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

He nodded as he escorted her outside to the waiting car. Paying the
driver in advance, Angel held the door open as he looked at Buffy.

“You heading home?’

“Actually, this may seem a little strange, but I was thinking about
going in to work.”

Angel smiled. “You’re all dressed up for a night on the town, and you
want to go to work?”

“I know it seems silly,” she said with a smile. “But I know they’ll be
busy tonight, and working is better than nothing.”

“Buffy, if you want to go somewhere, we can go. You never got anything
to eat- we could go to another restaurant.”

“No, you should probably head back in. I know it’s important to
schmooze the clients at events like these.”

Angel smiled at her and helped her off the curb. Buffy turned before
she got into the cab and gave Angel a soft kiss on the lips. It was sweet,
but there were no fireworks for either of them. With a smile, Buffy got
into the cab. Angel watched as it drove away and turned to head back into
the restaurant, only to be met with an outraged Spike.

“What the hell are you trying to pull, Peaches?” he growled in a low
voice.

“I don’t know what you mean, Spike,” Angel said with an honest expression, as he pushed past him.

“I mean, you bring a girl I dated to an opening you knew I’d be
attending. That sounds like something Lindsey would do, not you.”

“Yeah, Spike,” Angel said, whirling around to face him. “And you better be glad it was me and not Linds, cause you know what? He would have been in
that car with her, trying to get some right now.”

Spike watched as Angel walked back into the restaurant before turning and giving the
valet his ticket. He had to find out some answers.

* * * * *

Buffy quickly changed into her skirt and a pale blue tank top. As she
put on her shoes, she heard a knock at the door. She headed over to the
door and opened it to reveal a very angry Spike.

“How did you get in?”

“Your neighbor was kind enough to open the door for me,” he said,
walking past her into the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

“Please come in,” Buffy said sarcastically. “Don’t plan on staying. I have a cab waiting on me.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, turning to face her.

“What?”

“I said, no, you don’t.”

“Damn it, Spike, what are you doing here?”

“I want to know what you’re trying to do?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. As she pushed past
him, she felt Spike grab her arm, halting her movements.

“I’m talking about you making your way through the Wolfram and Hart
lawyers.”

Buffy looked at him with disbelief and hurt evident on her face, before her hand came up to slap him sharply on the cheek. ‘Bloody hell,’ Spike thought. ‘Why do you always have to open your mouth, you wanker?’

“I can’t believe you.”

“Tell me I’m wrong then,” Spike said, rubbing his jaw.

“You’re wrong,” she said, jerking her arm out of his grasp. “I have
one date with a guy you know, and all of a sudden, I’m the resident whore?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. ‘Making my way through the Wolfram and Hart
lawyers’ pretty much summed up what you think of me. You don’t even see me as good enough to let your colleagues know that we dated.”

“That’s not true,” he said quietly. “I see you as too good to let them know you dated me.”

“Whatever. I don’t know why you’ve turned into the biggest asshole I’ve ever met, but I’m not sticking around to find out. I’m leaving,” she said, heading for the door.

“Why were you with Angel?”

Buffy spun around to face him. “Because he asked me. What? Is he too good for me, too?”

“Buffy, listen to what I’m saying. It’s the other way around, pet. I don’t know of a soul in this city that’s worthy or what you have to give.”

Buffy took a deep breath as she looked at him, “You know, I
thought this is what you wanted. Figure out what I want before I settle on
anyone. Isn’t that what you said? You didn’t expect me to remain celibate for
the rest of my life, did you?”

Spike’s eyes flashed as a jealous rage flooded through him. He was on her in an instant, pushing her into the wall behind her. “Don’t think for one second you could ever forget about me.”

“Oh, believe me, I know that’s impossible,” she replied, anger dripping
from her words. “Why are you here? You don’t want me. Too busy going out
with your little bimbo to remember I’m alive.”

“Oh, trust me, luv, I could never forget about you.”

“Let go of me,” she said, struggling in his arms.

“What’s the fun in that? I thought this is what you wanted? For us to
be close again? We’re close now, luv,” he whispered as he gently nibbled
on her ear.

“Don’t,” she said in a strangled whisper, rapidly losing the will to argue with him.

“Stop me,” he murmured as his hands slid up her thighs.

Buffy suddenly realized what she was doing and pushed hard against his
chest. “No!”

The second the word was out of her mouth, Spike quickly took a step back and stared at her. He wanted to get his point across, but he wasn’t about to force her.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked quietly. “Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you.”

“Bloody hell! How do you know this isn’t me?!” he yelled angrily. “You don’t know what I’m capable of!”

“You’re not capable of hurting me,” Buffy said with a level gaze.

Spike advanced on her like a predator, pinning her to the wall with a hand on each side of her face. “You sure about that?” he asked in a rough voice.

Buffy looked up into his eyes. “You’re the one who seems so sure of himself. Do something. You wanna show that you’ve got the power? Go for it.” Buffy stared at him, knowing he would never do anything that she wouldn’t want.

Spike clenched his jaw as she called his bluff. He stared into her face, she wasn’t scared or angry, simply looking right back into his eyes with an unwavering stare. Suddenly he began to shake as he realized that this woman had more trust in him than he had in himself. Pushing away from her, Spike took several steps to distance himself, hoping to clear his head.

“There are things you don’t know, Buffy,” he said as he stared at the floor. “You shouldn’t be with someone like me.”

“Why don’t you let me make that decision,” she said quietly, before looking at him in disbelief as realization came over her. “It’s all been an act.”

Spike looked up at her with tears shimmering in his eyes. The look was a vast contradiction of wanting to be loved, but wanting to be left alone as well.

“Everything…from the money to the badass attitude.” Spike watched as fear crossed over her face. “Was it an act with me?”

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“When we were…when you and I…became more intimate. Was it all just an act?”

“No,” Spike said vigorously shaking his head. “Never, luv. I care about you, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“You’ve never let yourself get close to anyone, so you pushed me away before you let yourself go,” Buffy murmured in comprehension. “You tried to get me to hate you. Spike what happened?”

She watched as he just shook his head, walking over to stare out the window as Buffy stood behind him.

“The check?” she asked softly. “That’s your way of dealing with everything, isn’t it? That way you don’t have to get close. You just sign away some money and feel better about yourself because you helped.”

Spike let out a shaky sigh, gripping the windowsill as she spoke.

“But I’m not like anybody else that you’ve dealt with, am I?”

“No, you’re not.”

“I never wanted your money, Spike. I want…I wanted you.”

“Buffy-“

“No,” Buffy said quietly as he turned around to face her. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know there’s a lot that you haven’t told me, that you probably never will.”

“Do you hate me?”

The question was so quiet, Buffy stared at him for a moment. “I hate the way you’ve handled some things, but no. I don’t hate you.”

“I never meant to make you feel like a…I never meant that, Buffy. I really do just want to help you.”

“It’s okay. I know you were just dealing with something the only way you know how, but I don’t need your help. Just don’t let it happen again.”

Buffy had to fight to hold in a sigh as his hand came up to gently caress her cheek. Suddenly realizing what she was doing, Buffy took a step back. “You can’t do this to me again, Spike. It will always end up the same…you
don’t love me.”

Spike looked at her for a long moment before turning and walking to
the door. “I never wanted to hurt you, Buffy. I never should have let myself get close to you.”

Buffy turned to look at him and saw the sorrowful expression on his
face. “But you did. Imagine what we would have missed out on if you hadn’t.” Buffy looked at him and let out a sigh. “I’m not going to put my life on hold just so you can feel better, Spike. I’m alone and I hate it. I’m miserable because I have nothing to look forward to anymore. So I’m sorry if I want to find
someone to be with, but you obviously don’t want me that way.”

Spike listened sadly to her softly spoken words. “You deserve better
than I could ever give you, Buffy.”

“Apparently that’s not up for debate.”

Without another word, Spike turned and walked out of the apartment.

Buffy watched sadly, as he left. Wishing there was some way she could get close to him, without scaring him away.

Spike leaned against the door as it shut behind him and squeezed his eyes
shut as he brought a hand up to cover his face, stopping the flow of tears that wanted to emerge. He didn’t deserve her. Tonight, that point was made glaringly obvious, but why did he have to want her so much?



A/N Okay, I combined two chapters to give my lovely readers more Spuffy interaction-so please review!

Chapter 13


Buffy got off work the next night and headed out the door of the club.
She stopped when she was encountered with a familiar face.

“It’s about time you showed up. I’ve been waiting out here for an
hour.”

Buffy stared in shock as Cordelia looked at her from where she was
leaning against her car.

“Cordy, what are you doing here?” she asked, walking over and giving
the other woman a hug.

“I came to kidnap you,” she replied, opening the car door. “Get in.”

Buffy smiled and hopped in the car as Cordy got in on the driver’s side.

“Let me guess, Spike called you.”

“Yeah,” Cordy said. “A couple of days ago, actually, but I’ve been
swamped with work.”

“So what are you doing here?” Buffy asked.

“Well, Spike told me what happened with your mom, and I felt terrible.
Everybody should have someone for the holidays, and since tomorrow is
Christmas Eve, you get me.”

“Cordy, that’s so sweet, but I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can. We are going to run by your place and pick up some
clothes, and then it’s off to my house for a fun-filled night of ice cream,
indoor swimming, and lots of corny eighties movies.”

Buffy had to smile. “Cordy, it sounds like fun, but aren’t you going to
be with your family for the holidays?”

“Well, I see mom on Christmas night. Sometimes Spike joins us, if he's
not working. That leaves tonight and tomorrow night open for some quality
bonding time.”

Buffy relaxed a little. “Okay, sounds good.”

* * * * *

Later that night, Spike walked into his office, deciding to get some
work done before the holidays.

“Was wondering where the hell you were. You always want to work over Christmas.”

Spike turned toward the voice and saw Angel sitting in his desk chair,
feet propped up on Spike’s desk.

“What the hell are you doing here, Peaches?” Spike growled.

“Temper, temper. I just came to talk.”

“I have nothing to talk to you about, Angelus.”

“Oh, I think you do. And I think her name is Buffy Summers.”

Spike glared at his friend. “Why? You wanna take her out again?”

“Not exactly,” Angel said, standing and walking over to stand in front
of Spike. “I want you to do it.”

“What the bloody hell are you goin’ on about?”

“I’m not blind, Spike. I’ve seen the way you look at her. And I’m not
the only one.”

“I thought you wanted her for yourself?”

“No…on the contrary, I just wanted to show you what you were missing,” Angel said with a smirk.

Spike looked as Angel in confusion. “Why’s that?”

“Because if you didn’t see her out with someone else, you would keep
her in this little fantasy world of yours where everything is perfect and you
can go get her whenever your brain and heart finally get on the same page.”

“And why would you do this, Angelus?”

“A few reasons, actually. One being the obvious depression you’ve been in for the past few months. The only time I’ve seen your eyes show any kind of life was when she came storming through those doors the other day. It’s obvious how you feel about her, Spike- you’re just trying to keep it a secret from her. I’m guessing you feel like you’re not good enough for her, am I right?” When Spike didn’t answer, Angel continued. “The second reason is if I didn’t ask her out, Lindsey would have. And his motives are nowhere near as friendly as mine,” Angel continued as he walked toward the door.

“And the third?” Spike asked.

Angel turned around with a smile. “The third is, I want to date your
sister.”

Spike stared at his friend for a long minute. “Why?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m 33 years old, Spike. It’s time for me to settle down. I’ve known
Cordy for years, and I’ve been falling for her for nearly as long. Just didn’t want to say anything about it because I knew you’d have my head. So, when this little opportunity arose, to show you that I’m a changed man, I figured I’d go for it. I mean, after all, if I didn’t try and score with the woman you want, then I think that goes a long way. Especially since the woman in question is a knockout.”

Spike smirked. “You know…if you hurt my baby sis-“

“Yeah, yeah, ‘If you hurt her, I’ll have to kick your ass’.”

“Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of I’d run a railroad
spike through your chest,” Spike replied with a smile. “You know, add a new
meaning to my name.”

Angel laughed. “Thanks for the imagery, William.”

“Not a problem, Liam. But you better take care of my little sister,” he replied with a serious tone.

“I fully intend to,” Angel said with a solemn face before turning and
walking out of the office. “Merry Christmas, Will.”

“You too, Angel.”

Spike stared at the door for a long time after Angel left. How was
it that his friend could effortlessly see through him? Angel could see
enough to make him face something he had been avoiding for months.

Spike dropped into his chair with a heavy thud as the events of his
interactions with Buffy came rushing back to him. He felt like he
couldn’t breathe as he saw flashes of Buffy’s smile, the way her hair fell
around her shoulders, the tears that swam in her eyes as he told her she didn’t
really love him. Spike put his head in his hands as he heard her sobs again
as he remembered walking her home and hearing about her mom. He felt the
sadness weigh down his heart as he thought of the pain that he had caused her. Thought of all the moments he just wanted to take her in his arms, whether she was in his presence at the time or just his fantasies. He vividly pictured her face as he had made love to her. So full of hope and love. He was sure, now, that his face had reflected the same feelings to her.

“I’m in love with her,” he said to the empty room.



A/N Just a quick thank you to everyone who has voted for any of my stories on Spuffy Fantasy. “Once in a Lifetime Love” is currently second, and it’s a wonderful feeling to have the first story I ever wrote, be so well received! Thanks for reading and I’ll have another chapter in the next day or two.

Chapter 14


Spike paced his office for hours, unsure of what to do. He felt
certain what he had done to Buffy was unforgivable. He knew how devastated he would feel if the situation had been reversed. He still wasn’t sure he was
good enough for her, but he knew he had to be with her.

As Spike looked up, he noticed the sun was already shining. He grabbed
his keys and left the office, slamming the door behind him.

* * * * *

Buffy and Cordy woke up early the next morning, even though they had
stayed up late the night before. Each in their bikinis, they made their way to
the indoor pool. When Buffy walked in, she was in awe of the area. Three
glass walls and a glass ceiling expanded from the back of the house to
enclose the pool area and give a spectacular view of the grounds. The large pool took up the majority of the room, with a hot tub in the back corner,
furthest away from the house. It was above ground to offer more privacy, and
there were tropical plants and small trees spanning the length of the room.

“Cordy, this is amazing,” she said in admiration.

“Thanks,” Cordelia said, tossing her towel down onto a nearby chair.
“I added it on when I bought the house. I always wanted a pool, so I
figured, why not?”

A few moments after Cordy dove into the pool and resurfaced, the doorbell chimed throughout the house. “Damn,” she said. “Buffy, do you mind
seeing who that is?”

“Sure,” Buffy said, grabbing an oversized button-down shirt off a
chair and pulling it on. She didn’t bother to button it, but instead wrapped it
around her body and headed for the door. When she got to the front door and
flung it open, both people stood staring at each other in shock.

“Buffy,” Spike said. “What are you doing here?”

Buffy swallowed hard at seeing Spike standing in front of her. “Cordy
invited me over. I-I’ll just…go…”

Buffy turned to get her friend when she felt Spike’s hand on her arm.
Turning to face him, the front of her shirt opened, leaving Spike
practically drooling at the view he was offered.

Noticing the direction his eyes were going, Buffy self-consciously pulled the fabric back together. Before she knew what was happening, Spike’s mouth
was on hers, kissing her almost brutally as his hands slid beneath her shirt
to clutch at the bare skin of her back.

Buffy felt light-headed as Spike deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue
into her mouth to tangle with her own. Her hands came up to grip his
shoulders for balance as Spike lifted her into his arms. Pushing her against the
wall, Buffy’s legs reflexively went around his waist as one of his hands
slid up to her shoulder, pushing the shirt away from her skin. Buffy moaned
into his mouth as his hand slid downward to cup her breast and squeeze
gently against the skimpy fabric of her bathing suit.

Breaking away for air after a few minutes, Buffy pulled back and looked into
Spike’s lust-filled eyes. Suddenly realizing what was happening, Buffy
straightened her legs to the floor and gently pushed at his chest until he
backed away slightly.

“Buffy, I-“

“No,” she said softly, shaking her head. “It’s okay…it’s just as much my
fault, so don’t worry about it. I’ll get Cordy for you.” She quickly turned
and made her way through the house.

“Buffy!”

“Spike, don’t,” she cried, spinning around to face him. “It’s too hard. I know you don’t want me the way I want you. I don’t hold it against you…you can’t control who you love.”

Spike watched speechlessly as she turned and disappeared through a
doorway. A few minutes later, his sister emerged. “What’s up, Spike?”

Spike snapped out of his train of thought as he saw Cordy. “Actually,
Cordelia, I don’t think I need to talk anymore.”

“Spike, are you alright?”

“Fine…its just, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding slightly, as he turned for the door.

“Spike?”

Spike turned as Cordy called his name.

“You should talk to her.”

“I’ve tried.”

“No…talk to her. Get everything out in the open and really talk to her.”

“I’ll try,” Spike said with a nod.

Chapter 15


Spike stood in his office the next day, staring out the window. It was
Christmas Day, and he was standing alone with a drink in his hand. He
would be leaving later for dinner with Cordy and her mother, but now he was
content to just be alone.

“Spike?”

Spike spun around at the softly spoken word and stared at the doorway
in disbelief. There stood Buffy, in a red shirt with a scooped neck and
dark blue jeans. Her hair was left falling loosely down her back, and Spike
blinked hard to make sure she was real.

“Buffy?”

“The, uh, the doorman, he let me in,” she said, gesturing toward the
front of the building with one hand.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“I didn’t…just decided to take a shot.”

“Why are you here?”

“Um, I-I brought you something,” she said, taking a step forward and
holding out a box with red wrapping paper and a green ribbon.

“Buffy-“

“I didn’t really have anyone else to buy for…it wouldn’t be Christmas
if I didn’t give someone a gift.”

Spike smiled despondently at the sorrow in her voice and set his drink
down to accept the box. Gesturing over to the couch, they both sat down as
Spike ripped open the paper and pulled off the top of the box. Seeing what was
inside, he took a deep breath. “Buffy, this is too much.”

“I know you already have a similar one,” she said as he pulled out a leather duster. “That one was getting pretty worn, so I thought you could use a new
one. I hope you like it.”

“It’s wonderful, luv, but it really is too much to spend.”

Buffy shrugged as she stood up. “Don’t worry about it. It’s really not
a problem.”

Spike noticed she was heading toward the door and bolted out of his
seat after her. “Wait!”

Buffy spun around, alarmed at the tone of his voice.

“I have something for you.”

Buffy looked at him quizzically as he walked to his desk. Pulling out
a small box from one of the drawers, Spike smiled slightly. “Sorry it’s
not gift-wrapped, I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”

Buffy took the box and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond bracelet.
“Spike, no. I-I can’t accept this.”

“It’s yours, Buffy. I saw it and knew you had to have it.”

Buffy simply stared at the jewelry in shock as Spike took it out of the
box and slipped it around her wrist.

“Spike, you really-“ Buffy was silenced as Spike put a finger over her lips.

“It’s yours, luv.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“I mean, it’s an awfully expensive gift to give an ex-fling.”

Spike cringed at the description of their relationship. “You were never a
fling, Buffy,” he said quietly.

“No offense, Spike, but you could have fooled me.”

“You weren’t,” he said, more forcefully than he intended.

Buffy looked up at him in alarm before backing toward the door. “Thank
you…for the gift. I should be going.”

“No, pet, don’t leave.”

“It’s okay, I should let you get back to what you were doing,” she
said, turning and reaching for the doorknob.

“Please stay.”

Buffy paused but didn’t turn to face him. “Why?”

“I’m sorry.” Buffy turned at the soft admission and looked at Spike, who was
staring down at the floor, biting his lip.

“For what?”

Spike looked up and met her eyes. “For everything. For hurting you.
For not being man enough to admit how much I need you.”

Buffy swallowed hard. “You need me?”

“Yes…I do.”

“And you just realized this now?”

“What can I say? Always the last to know.”

Taking a deep breath, Buffy took a step toward him. “To know what?”

Spike closed the distance between them as he looked deep into her eyes.
“That I love you.”

Before either knew what happened, his lips were on hers. His hands
held her arms as he dragged her upward to meet his lips. Though the kiss was
intense and passionate at first, soon it tapered off to gentle caresses. “Buffy, I
love you so much,” he whispered against her lips.

Chapter 16


”I’m in love with you,” Spike whispered again.

Buffy felt Spike lift her up and set her on his desk. She stare at him in amazement,
Watching as he held each side of her face, to trail kisses along her cheeks and forehead. “I want you
now, Buffy.”

Buffy kissed him passionately, not bothering to think as her fingers unbuttoned his shirt, slowly
revealing the smooth muscles of his chest. The kiss intensified as Buffy
dragged her nails over the ridges of his stomach. Spike rapidly stripped
off her sweater and bra, kissing his way down to her chest and latching onto
a nipple, smiling briefly as he felt Buffy arch her back and cry out at
the sensations he was causing. Twining her fingers through his hair, Spike
began unbuttoning her jeans and sliding them down her shapely legs, quickly
removing the rest of her clothes and shoes. Shedding his shirt, he pulled
Buffy against him, grinding the evidence of his arousal into her hot center.

“Please, Spike…I need you…please!”

Spike kissed her again as his hands sought out his wallet and extracted a
condom. Unbuttoning his pants but not bothering to remove them, Spike
quickly rolled on the condom and eased into her soft depths. Sheathing
himself fully inside her, both Buffy and Spike moaned at the contact.
Spike slipped his hands around and cupped her butt, pulling her fully onto
his length as her back arched.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and strained to get closer to him,
frantically pushing herself onto his erection, wanting more. “Harder,
Spike.”

He felt his eyes roll back at the combination of her request and the
tightness of her inner muscles clamping onto him. Pumping into her harder
and with more passion, Spike sped up his thrusts, angling them upward.

Buffy felt her body begin to shake as Spike plunged with more emotion,
feeling himself begin to lose control. “Come for me, baby…let it go.”

Buffy pressed herself harder against him as she felt her climax approaching.
Screaming out her release at the sensations he was causing, Spike reached
in between them to softly finger the bundle of nerves. Before Buffy knew
what was happening, she was overwhelmed as wave after wave of pleasure
coursed through her body. She found herself laying down on the desk as Spike
thrust into her a few more times and quickly found his own release as he
let himself go.

Both lay panting on the hard surface for several long minutes as they tried
to catch their breath. Spike was the first to stand, disposing of the
condom and pulling his pants up, his back facing Buffy.

Buffy watched him for a moment before gathering her own clothes. Pulling
on her panties and jeans, Spike turned to face her as she put on her bra.
He noticed she wasn’t making eye contact.

“You okay, luv?”

“Fine,” she said abruptly.

“Buffy,” he said, trying to get her to look at him as she pulled her shirt
over her head. “What’s wrong?”

After a few moments, Spike took her chin in his hand. “What’s wrong, luv?”

“Is this the part where you run out again?” she asked quietly.

Understanding dawned on Spike as he stared at the young woman, guiltily. “No, pet.
I’m not leaving again.” Spike stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. “I promise.”

Buffy held onto him for several minutes, when she heard him speak. “Come with me tonight.”

“No, Spike. It’s a family thing. I don’t want to impose.”

“I wasn’t asking, luv,” he said with a playful smile. “Cordy will be there,
and Madison, her mom, is really nice. You’ll be completely at ease…please.”

Buffy giggled as Spike stuck his lip out in a mock pout. “Okay. I’ll go.”

Leaning forward, Buffy planted a soft kiss on his lips.

“Let’s get outta here, pet.”

Chapter 17


Spike was right. Dinner was fun, and Buffy found herself relaxing as she was
embraced into a family environment again. Cordelia had been thrilled when
Spike had walked in with Buffy. Cordy’s mom had openly embraced Buffy into
her home, and they had proceeded to get to know each other and share stories
for the next three hours. Buffy noticed Cordy pull Spike aside at one point
and appear to be lecturing him about something, but Madison had been talking
to Buffy so she wasn’t sure what they were discussing.

As they left the house several hours later, Spike asked her to come home
with him. Buffy had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed when he
pouted at her again. Now as they were walking up the path to his house,
Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy’s waist from behind her and nuzzled
her hair. Buffy smiled at the intimate gesture and stopped walking to enjoy
the sensations he was causing. Turning in his arms, Buffy wrapped her arms
around him and buried her face in his chest, inhaling the scent of leather
wafting off his duster. “I love you.”

Spike lovingly ran his fingers through her hair. “I love you, too, baby.”
Kissing the top of her head, Spike gently pulled away from her and smiled
down at the delighted look on her face. “Let’s go inside, luv. It’s
getting cold out here.”

As they approached the door, both Buffy and Spike stopped as it swung open.
Buffy felt Spike’s body go rigid as they looked at the person standing
there.

“Dru,” Spike muttered in a half-hearted greeting.

“Spike,” the woman said in an upper class British accent before turning to
look at Buffy. “And who is your little friend?”

Buffy stared at the woman skeptically. “I’m Buffy.”

“Drusilla, what are you doing here?”

“Can’t I visit my husband on a holiday?”

Buffy felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her as she stared at the
woman before turning her attention to Spike. “Husband?”

Spike couldn’t look at her, even after the whispered question she uttered.

“Spike? What is she talking about?”

“You mean my naughty boy didn’t tell you he was married?”

Buffy didn’t spare a glance at the woman as she continued staring at the man
in front of her. “Spike? What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I should have told you.”

“So it’s true?”

Spike took a deep breath. “Yes, it’s true, but Buffy, I can explain.”

Buffy was already backing away from him, shaking her head. “There’s nothing
to explain, Spike. I think everything is perfectly clear.” Spinning on her
heel, Buffy headed down the street, fighting the tears that were stinging
her eyes.

“Buffy!” She could hear his footsteps getting closer as he chased after
her. “Please, Buffy, let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, I already told you,” she ground out between
clenched teeth.

“Buffy, we’re not together anymore.”

Buffy turned around to face him, stopping as she looked up into his shining
blue eyes. “Are you still married to her?”

“Yes, but-“

“NO! No buts, Spike. You’re married!” she shouted. “You’re married, and
you didn’t even tell me. All those nights we went out. Everything you
shared with me, and you never told me. Why? Why would you want to hurt me
again?” she trailed off in a whisper.

“I never wanted to hurt you, luv. It’s been over for a long time between
me and Dru.”

“Yeah, it looks like it’s really over, what with her having a key to your
house and all.”

“Buffy, please, believe me. I love you. YOU! Not her!”

Buffy looked down as tears clouded her vision. “You love me so much you
pushed me away. And yet, you don’t love her and you stay married to her.”
Buffy looked up at Spike with tear-streaked cheeks. “Do me a favor,
Spike…don’t love me. I don’t know if I can last much longer.”

Spike felt as if she’d slapped him as she turned and quickly made her way
down the street. “Buffy,” he said softly. Wanting to go after her but
knowing she needed time to cope with this, Spike stood cursing himself for
not telling her sooner. Pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his
eyes shut, Spike turned and headed back to his house.

He entered to see Dru sitting in the living room with a bored look on her
face. “She’s a little young, Spike.”

“Get out,” he growled.

“Now, my little Spike is mad. Don’t be mad at princess.”

“Get out, Dru…now!”

“You mean, you don’t want to celebrate the holiday?”

“GET OUT!” he yelled, nearly pulling the door off his hinges. As she
floated past Spike, he turned to face her. “I’m filing for divorce, Dru. I’m
in love with Buffy.”

Shutting the door in her face, Spike leaned back against it, slowly sliding
to the floor. As Buffy’s words caught up with him, Spike felt his eyes
burning. After several minutes of feeling sorry for himself, Spike jumped
up and ran out the door. “Bloody hell! She can be mad at me, but she’s not
walking home alone!”

Jumping into his car, Spike sped out of the driveway.



A/N Don’t hate me! I know this is a short chapter, but I haven’t been happy with this section of the story, so I’m trying to rewrite parts of it, while still working on “It Matters to Me” and “Mixed Emotions.” I’ll try and have the next chapter tomorrow, if it’s ready.

A/N Okay, I’m sorry that it’s been a few days, but the reason is- I’m not happy with this chapter. I’ve been re-reading and working on it and I’m still not thrilled, but my beta told me that it was fine, when she read it, so ultimately I know I should post it. I’m still not happy with it, but the story is almost finished and I have three other WIP’s right now (one that I’m not posting until I get at least two finished). So here’s the next chapter- I hope you like it.


Chapter 18


Spike drove for over an hour, looking everywhere he could think of, taking
every possible route from his place to Buffy’s. He couldn’t find her
anywhere. Finally parking around the corner from her building, Spike sat on
the steps, praying she would come home.

After an hour of sitting, Spike heard footsteps approaching. Lifting his
head from his hands, Spike turned his bloodshot eyes in the direction the
noise was coming from. When Buffy appeared a few moments later, he
vaulted from the steps and was by her side before she even recognized him.

Buffy narrowed her swollen eyes at Spike and side-stepped him.

“Buffy, luv, where were you? I looked everywhere.”

“Well, apparently not, because you didn’t find me. That was the idea,” she
spat back. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Buffy, I don’t blame you, but please believe me when I tell you that Dru
and I are over. I told her I’m filing for divorce. Buffy, I told her I was
in love with you.”

Buffy stopped but didn’t say anything.

“I love you, Buffy. I can’t say it enough. I love you, and I want to be with
you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly.

Spike watched her as she turned around. The hardened expression was gone.
In its place was obvious hurt and pain of what he had put her through…again.

“If I told you, that would have meant we were serious.” Seeing how upset
she was, Spike quickly continued. “I didn’t want to be serious with anyone.
I didn’t want to love anyone ever again. Dru hurt me, and I vowed to never
be victimized in a relationship…but then I met you. I fell in love with
you, and I couldn’t ignore it forever.”

“Why didn’t you ever divorce her?”

“It was never necessary. We both just ignored the fact that we were
married. That’s why we were separated…she ignored it while we were
together. I caught her with another man. Found out there were several
others throughout the years, and I packed my bags. Buffy, you have to believe
me, I was going to tell you. I just didn’t want it to happen on Christmas
Day.”

Buffy looked into Spike’s pleading eyes and felt her resolve slowly melt
away. “Give me a few days.”

“What?”

“Spike, I understand…at least I think I do, but just give me a few days.
Okay?”

“I can do that, luv,” he said quietly.

Buffy nodded as he stepped forward and planted a tender kiss on her cheek.
Stepping away, he gently trailed the back of his hand over the area still
tingling with his kiss before turning and walking away. Buffy watched him
go before turning and walking into her building.

* * * * *

Buffy let out a heavy sigh as she unlocked the door to her apartment. It
had been a long night at work, and she was sorry that Spike had
stayed true to his part of the deal and given her some time, because she really wanted to see him.

She decided she should call him as she pushed open the heavy door and froze
at what she saw. Outlining the length of the tiny hallway were dozens of
tea candles leading a path to the living room with sprinkles of rose petals
completing the effect. Buffy gasped as she quickly hung up her jacket and
made her way to the room, her eyes widening at the sight before her. Dozens
of candles let off a soft golden glow from every surface of the room with
petals scattered all over the floor. In the middle of the room, Spike stood,
looking nothing like himself. Gone were the clothes and the slicked back
hair. In their place was a nervous-looking man in khakis and a black
sweater. His hair was in its naturally curly state, and he waited with a
perfect red rose.

“I did what you asked, luv. I just couldn’t stay away any longer.”

Buffy felt lightheaded as he walked over to her. “What is all this?”

Spike glanced around the room. “Well, some of it is a long overdue apology.”

“Apology?”

“For everything…for anything. I never meant to hurt you, Buffy. I filed
the divorce papers, and I’ll be free and clear in a few weeks.”

Buffy smiled. “And what’s the rest of it for?”

“A question.”

Buffy stared up at him. “You gonna ask me, or do I get to guess it?”

Spike took a deep breath before stepping close and wrapping his arms around
her waist. “I love you, Buffy. I’ve never loved anyone more. I feel lost
when I’m not with you, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again. I want
to spend my life with you, luv. I want to marry you.”

Buffy inhaled sharply as Spike dropped down on one knee, producing a
beautiful princess cut and white gold ring. “Buffy…will you marry me?”

Buffy could barely form the words as she vigorously nodded her head. “Yes!”

A smile spread on Spike’s face as the nervousness fled from him. He gently slipped the ring on her finger before standing and picking her up in his arms, spinning them in circles. When he stopped, Spike claimed her lips with his, smiling as Buffy moaned into his mouth at the long overdue contact. With a sweeping motion, he quickly lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, his lips never leaving hers.

Spike set her back on her feet, quickly stripping her of her clothes as he his lips trailed down her jaw to her neck. Buffy gasped as she felt his tongue circle a nipple, before he rose and gently pushed her back onto the bed. Buffy briefly wondered when he had gotten rid of his own clothes, but the thought fled her mind as he grasped her hips and rolled them. Buffy giggled as she found herself straddling Spike, leaning forward to give him a soft kiss as she raised her hips and slowly lowered herself down onto his hardened length.
Both moaned at the sensations that coursed through their bodies as they moved together. Spike kept a firm hold on her hips as she moved on top of him, clenching his jaw to maintain a small semblance of control.

Buffy saw a brief smile flicker over his face as he watched her arch her back, impaling herself even further on him as her movements picked up.

Spike heard the tiny whimper as it left her throat, knowing that she needed release as badly as he did. Loosening his hold on her hips, he let one hand slowly trail over the soft skin of her thigh to settle in between them. Buffy gasped as she felt his fingertips slowly graze over her flesh, moving faster as she tried to reach her climax.

Before Buffy could fully comprehend what he was doing, she saw stars burst in front of her eyes as he gently pinched the sensitive bundle of nerves, falling over the edge as she screamed out his name in release.

Spike smiled as she fell forward onto his chest, her body limp, but her hips still rocking against his, obviously enjoying the aftershocks of the sensations he was causing. Spike pushed into her a few more times before he wrapped his arms around her tiny body, holding her in a crushing embrace as he came.

Coming down from the bliss that they were feeling, Buffy slowly raised her head, planting her chin on his chest. Spike tried to calm his irregular breathing as they stared into each other’s eyes.

Leaning forward, Spike planted a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too, Spike.”

Epilogue


6 Months Later


“Why me?” Buffy asked as she snuggled deeper into Spike’s arms.
Spike looked down at her with a puzzled expression. “Why you, what, pet?”

“Why did you pick me? Out of all the women you could have possibly had, why
me?”

“Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it,” Spike asked as he playfully dipped her.
“I didn’t pick you, luv…you picked me. I love you, Buffy, and a very wise
person once told me that you can’t control who you fall in love with.”

Breathing out a soft sigh, Buffy held him tighter as she looked around their
wedding reception, smiling as she saw all of her friends watching them dance, with
smiles. Looking back up at Spike, she whispered, “I love you, too. I have
since our first date.”

Holding on to each other, Buffy caught Angel’s eye as he held tightly to
Cordelia. He gave her a thumbs up as she smiled at him. Angel and Cordy
had been dating since New Year’s Eve, and they were getting closer everyday.
Buffy was guessing that Angel was going to propose soon, but Spike still
wouldn’t give her any details, even though Buffy was sure that Angel had talked to him about it.
Buffy smiled as Spike’s arms tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer to him, almost protectively. Buffy lay her head on his chest, enjoying the soothing thumps of his heart beating.
Spike had insisted on getting married as soon as possible, surprising Buffy since she assumed he would want to wait a while, considering how his first marriage ended up. Spike had argued against her point, saying that his first marriage was insignificant. This one was real. This was where he wanted to be.
Buffy would be starting school again, in the fall. That had been the source of many arguments. Spike wanted to pay her tuition, but Buffy insisted that she would keep working and pay her own way. They finally came to the mutual agreement that Buffy would work at Caritas until they got married. Afterward, Buffy would focus on school and quit the bar, letting Spike pay for school, since they would be combining their money anyway.
Spike considered this a winning situation, since the woman he loved was no longer working around a bunch of drunks, leering at her. As an added bonus, Spike got to see her more, now that she didn’t work such long hours every night.
Breathing a sigh of relief that she was in his arms and that he would never have to let her go, Spike pressed a kiss against the top of her head as she raised watery eyes to his.
“Something wrong, luv?” he asked, concern lacing his words.
“No,” Buffy said with a smile, shaking her head as she reached up to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. “Everything is just right.”

The End


A/N This feels like an abrupt end for me, but I ultimately ran out of story for it. I didn’t want to drag out the Dru/Spike/Buffy storyline anymore than I did. I hope everyone enjoyed it.