A/N This is NOT a threesome story. It’s a love triangle.

Chapter 1


Buffy Summers walked through the front door on Friday afternoon, tossing her
keys on the nearby end table.

“Will?” She frowned when her call went unanswered. “William, where are
you?”

Buffy wandered through his house, growing a little worried. He had told her
he’d be home at this time and to just let herself in. Wandering up the
stairs, Buffy checked the rooms and didn’t see him anywhere.

Turning around, she went back the way she came and headed for the back door. Walking through the door, Buffy saw him sitting by the pool and approached
him. “There you are, I was worried about you.”

Will immediately jumped up when he heard his girlfriend behind him. “Sorry,
Buffy, I must have lost track of time,” he said, coming over to give her a
kiss.

William Lawson and Buffy had been dating for the past five months. Will was
an English teacher at Sunnydale High, and Buffy was the counselor there. She
had started her job at the beginning of the school year and instantly had been
attracted to William. He was sensitive and sweet, and when he had finally
asked her out after the Christmas break, Buffy had said yes.

Now, as the school year was winding to a close, they saw each other every
minute that they could. Buffy knew that he was in love with her, and she
felt very strong feelings for him, but she couldn’t call it love yet. Will
never pushed her to say it. He was simply content that she was with him.

“What are you working on?” Buffy asked, looking at the papers scattered
around the table that sat on the deck.

“Just finishing up grading some papers before the last week of school
starts.”

Buffy nodded and giggled as he bent lower to nibble at her neck. “Come on,
Will. You have to work.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“For you?” Buffy asked, trying to suppress a smile. “I’m thinking it’s a
lot of fun.”

Will huffed slightly before smiling at her and turning to sit back down.
Buffy stood behind him, rubbing the tense muscles in his back, looking over
his shoulder at what he was reading. After a few minutes, she gently ran
her fingers through his soft brown curls, continuously smoothing them back,
away from his forehead.

“You want me to gel it, Buffy?” Will asked with a grin.

Buffy smiled. “No, I’m just playing. Can I help it if I like to see those
beautiful baby blues?” she asked in a teasing tone. Will snaked an arm
around her waist, pulling her into his lap to press his lips to hers. Buffy
smiled against the kiss before slowly pulling away. She noticed the sun
beginning to set and looked at her watch. “Oh, damn it, I’m going to be
late!”

She quickly jumped off his lap and straightened her clothes as William
looked at her questioningly. “Late for what?”

“I told the girls I’d meet them at the Bronze tonight. That’s not a problem,
is it? I knew you’d be busy with school stuff.”

Will raised an eyebrow at Buffy. “Shouldn’t you be busy with ‘school stuff’
as well?”

“Oh, come on, Will, don’t be such a stick in the mud. Everyone deserves a
night out, even you.”

William had to smile at her hyper attitude. “You stopping by later?”

“If it’s not too late,” Buffy said, leaning over to give him a kiss on the
lips. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

William nodded, watching as his girlfriend practically bounced off in the
direction of the house. He smiled at her exuberant attitude. When they
first began dating, William was concerned with their age difference. Seven
years wasn’t a huge gap, but when the girl in question was 21 at the time,
it made him slightly nervous. He couldn’t deny his feelings for her
though and eventually worked up the nerve to ask her out.

Will had fallen hard for Buffy. He knew that she was a little more cautious
about returning his feelings, but he was a patient man. He would wait for
her.

* * * * *

Buffy walked into the Bronze an hour later. She had changed into a pair of
her black leather pants and a red halter. She knew that she’d see some of
the kids from high school here, but she had been one of them a few years
ago. Tonight was not a night to be Miss Summers. Tonight, she was just
Buffy, and she was looking forward to hanging out with her friends.

Seeing the group sitting at a table in close proximity to the dance floor
and the bar, Buffy had to smile as she approached them.

“So, Faith, I see you chose the table,” Buffy said with a good-natured grin.

“You know it, B,” Faith replied with an answering smile. “Let’s get out
there and show these tykes how it’s done.”

Buffy laughed as Faith grabbed her hand and led her out to the dance floor.
She gave a quick wave to Willow and Tara as she was dragged away, watching
as Faith grabbed two shots off a waitress' tray and handed one to Buffy.

Buffy raised an eyebrow as she looked down at the amber liquid. “Faith, you
know I can’t hold my alcohol.”

“Oh trust me, B, I know. But lucky for us, Willow and Tara are here. You
know they’ll watch out for us,” Faith replied with a wicked smile.

Buffy took a deep breath before tossing the shot back, shaking her head as
the liquid burned down her throat. “Blech, okay, no more of that stuff. If
you want me to drink, I expect nice fruity drinks with little umbrellas
sticking out of the glass.”

Faith laughed and nodded as she left the shot glasses on a table, grabbing
Buffy’s wrist to drag her into the middle of the floor just as a fast song
came on.

* * * * *

Two hours later, Buffy sat at the table, laughing with her friends. These
nights were becoming more and more rare the older they got, and she loved
to cherish each night she was able to spend with her friends.

As Buffy had requested, Faith had gotten her a fruity drink with an
umbrella, though it had more alcohol than Buffy would have preferred.

“Whoa,” Faith said, letting out a low whistle. “B, when did your guy get so
hot?” she asked, looking at the door.

“Will?” Buffy asked her as she turned to the door. Her eyes widened in
surprise as she saw him.

‘What’s he doing here?’ she thought to herself. ‘And what has he done to
his hair?’

“Guys, I’ll be right back,” Buffy said as she left the table and headed for
the door. “Hey,” she said in a bright voice as she walked over to him. She
watched as he raised an eyebrow at her and smirked but didn’t say anything.
Buffy reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down
for a passionate kiss. She could feel the tension in his muscles relax as
he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him and grinding
his growing erection into her abdomen.

Buffy moaned into his mouth as one of his hands came up to cup the back of
her head and hold her in place. She began to feel very lightheaded as his
tongue stroked hers, knowing that her legs would have given out if one of
his strong arms weren’t wrapped around her waist and holding her in place.

Breaking away after a minute, Buffy reached for the lapels of his duster,
gasping for breath and looking up at him with lust-filled eyes. “Wow, that
was…wow!”

He smiled at her, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “Glad you enjoyed
it, pet.”

Buffy frowned but didn’t say anything about the different accent. “So,
what’s with the hair color?”

She watched as he looked at her closely. “Just felt like it, I guess.”

“And the clothes?”

He smirked at her. “They’re kind of essential if I want to go out in
public.”

Buffy laughed and smacked him on his chest, causing him to wrap his arms
around her waist again. “You wanna get out of here, pet?”

“I-I can’t,” she replied breathlessly as he got within closer proximity to
her lips. “I’m here with my friends.”

“Can’t they find their own way home?” he asked with a smirk before leaning
down to claim her lips again.

Buffy pulled away after a few moments. “Give me a minute,” she said,
walking back over to the table. “Guys, I have a-“

“GO!” they all shouted at her at once. She looked at them in surprise as
Faith spoke up.

“B, your boyfriend just turned into a bona fide hottie. Go! We understand,
you’ll make it up to us.”

“Hey!” Buffy cried indignantly. “He was always a hottie!”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “In a ‘teachery’ sort of way, but now he is in a bad
boy sort of way.”

“Willow!” Buffy exclaimed, shocked at her best friend. “Aren’t you a
lesbian?”

“I still have eyes, Buffy,” Willow said with a sneaky smile that had them
all laughing.

“Okay, I will make it up to you,” Buffy said, giving them all hugs before
turning and heading back to the door.

“Ready, luv?”

“Let’s go.”

Buffy followed him outside, smiling when he reached back to hold her hand.
Getting to the parking lot, Buffy felt herself pulled around and pushed up
against a motorcycle as his lips sought to devour hers once again. Buffy
moaned as his hands slipped under her shirt to caress her skin, letting her
own hands work on a few of the buttons of his shirt, exposing some of his
muscular chest to trail her fingertips over it.

Pulling away for air, she gasped as his lips kissed down the length of her
throat, pushing himself closer to her, seeking some form of release for all
the sexual tension she was causing him.

“Get on,” he ground out.

Buffy looked at him in confusion as he gestured to the bike. “Where’s the
car?”

“What car, luv?”

“Your car,” she said, pointing to him.

“Don’t have a car, baby. Just the bike.”

“What’s going on?”

“You sure do ask a lot of questions. What’s going on with what?”

“The hair, the clothes, the non-uppity accent, the public groping? Now
you’re telling me you don’t have a car? William, what’s with you today?”

She watched as his expression rapidly changed. Starting with bewilderment,
an array crossed his face- shock, confusion, then understanding and
amusement. “William?”

“Okay, you’re acting really wiggy tonight. Maybe I should just talk to you
in the morning,” she said, turning to head back into the Bronze.

“That would be great, luv, but I don’t think you’d be able to find me in the
morning,” he said with a smirk.

Buffy whirled around to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, pet, the thing of it is, I’m not you’re precious William.”

Buffy backed away, beginning to get really nervous.

“You are dating him, right? Because knowing the stick that’s shoved so far
up his ass, he’d never be caught making out with a chit who he wasn’t
involved with.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I see you haven’t known him long. I’m his brother.”

It was Buffy’s turn for the identical expressions to flash across her face
as she realized what had just happened.

“Twins…just in case you haven’t processed that thought,” he said in
amusement. “I’m Spike, by the way,” he said, holding out his hand. “I
realize, considering we were about to shag in the parking lot, it’s a little
peculiar to be shaking hands, but it feels like the right thing to do.” He
watched as Buffy shook his hand, her mouth still slightly open. “Sorry to
be such a shock to you, luv. How long have you and dear Willie been seeing
each other?”

“Five months,” she whispered, furrowing her brow as she stared down at the
cement of the parking lot.

Spike whistled. “Five months, and he never told you about me? Well, can’t
say that surprises me. I’ve always been the rebel of the family. The black
sheep, if you will.” He continued watching her as she still seemed to be
coming to grips with the turn of events. “Do you have a name, pet?”

“Buffy,” she said, shaking her head to clear it. “Buffy Summers.”

“Well, Buffy Summers, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m sorry. Do you think you could take me to William’s?”

“My pleasure, luv.”



A/N Please review and let me know what you think so far.

A/N Thanks for all the awesome reviews! I was a little unsure about this story.
Chapter 2


Buffy stood in front of William’s front door later that night, incessantly
ringing the doorbell. Spike stood next to her, leaning against the side of
the house and smirking at the feisty woman in front of him.

“Maybe he’s not home, pet.”

“He’s home,” Buffy growled. “And what’s with the nicknames?”

“Just the way I talk. You didn’t seem to take issue with it earlier
tonight,” Spike said with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy felt the flush rise up to her cheeks as the door opened.

“Buffy, you’re here early-“

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me you had a brother?” Buffy cried in
exasperation.

William stood frozen, gripping the doorknob as he stared at his girlfriend.
“How did you-“

He stopped when his mirror image stepped in front of him. “What are you
doing here?”

“He brought me home,” Buffy said matter-of-factly, crossing her arms over
her chest.

“And why did he do that?”

“Case of mistaken identity, big brother,” Spike said with a smirk. “Seems
you forgot to tell your little wifey here that there are two of you.”

“There’s not two of me. You and I are relatives, that’s all.”

“And excuse me, but I’m not some 'little wifey',” Buffy said, turning to face
Spike.

“What do you mean 'mistaken identity'?”

William’s question was directed at Buffy, but it was Spike who answered with
a wide smile. “Seems your girl got excited when she thought you had a
makeover.”

“Shut up, Spike,” Buffy said in a warning tone.

“Couldn’t keep her hands off me.”

Buffy looked at him disbelievingly before her expression turned angry.
“You’re a pig, Spike.”

William stood in shock for a moment before grabbing Buffy’s arm. “We need
to talk,” he said, leading her into the kitchen. “What did he mean you
couldn’t keep your hands off him? You actually like that look?”

“Oh no, you’re not going to turn this around on me,” Buffy said, shaking her
head. “If you had told me you had an identical twin walking around, none of
this would have happened.”

“It never came up,” William said, looking down at the floor guiltily.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you’re right,” Buffy said sarcastically. “I ask all the
men I go out with if they have a doppelganger out in the world somewhere.”

“Did you kiss him?”

“Will, this isn’t the-“

“Did you?”

Buffy’s face softened as she looked into his shining eyes. “I thought he
was you,” she said softly.

“And when you found out the truth?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Buffy yelled, her anger coming
back immediately at the implied accusation.

“I think you know.”

Buffy couldn’t believe it. William had never acted jealous or accused her
of anything in all the months they had been together. Now, because she made
an honest mistake, he thought she would willingly partake in cheating on
him. With one final look, Buffy turned and walked out of the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” William asked, chasing after her.

Buffy saw Spike standing there with a serious expression. He gave her a
compassionate look before she turned around to face his brother. “I’m
leaving! I’m not going to stand around while you accuse me of doing
something that I didn’t do.”

Buffy wrenched the door open as she felt a hand on her arm. Looking up, she
met Spike’s eyes instead of William’s. “You shouldn’t walk home alone, pet.
It’s not safe.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said. Confused at the sudden shift in the brother’s
roles, she turned and walked out of the house.

“Don’t leave like this, Buffy,” William called from behind her. “I’m sorry,
alright?”

Buffy turned to face him, staring into his open face, and felt her resolve
slowly start to crumble. “Call me in a few days.”

It was her form of a peace offering, and he knew it. William nodded and
watched her walk away until she was out of his sight. Closing the door, he
slowly leaned his head against the sturdy wood and shut his eyes.

“You really bollocksed this up, didn’t you, mate?”

William turned to face his brother. He had forgotten he was there for the
time being, but now, as he looked at him, he felt all his anger coming back.
“What did you do with her?”

Spike held up his hands in surrender. “Relax, mate,” he said as he walked
over to sit on the couch. Pulling out a cigarette, he ignored his brother’s
irritated look as he lit it. Exhaling deeply, Spike continued, “I walk into
a club tonight, and all of a sudden, this beautiful girl starts kissing me.
What was I supposed to do?”

“That didn’t strike you as a little out of the ordinary?” Will asked,
crossing his arms over his chest.

“For me?” Spike asked with a smirk. “Not really.”

“And then?”

“Look, I know what you’re getting at, and as soon as I realized she thought I
was you, I told her who I was. I stopped, alright? You should really have
some faith in your girl, mate.”

“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t have,” William said in a warning
tone. It was the same tone that had always told Spike when to back off when
they were growing up. Both men were strong, and Spike could easily take
William in a fight, but if he was mad enough, Will could get in some good
hits.

“Just trying to help, Will,” Spike said, softening his tone slightly.

“I know…what are you doing here, anyway?”

“What? I can’t pay my brother a visit once in a while?” At William’s
skeptical look, Spike continued, “Alright, I need a place to stay for a
while.”

“You lost another job again, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t lose anything,” Spike said angrily as he stood up. “It was my
call, I left.”

William sighed. “Fine, you can stay here, but if it’s longer than a few
weeks, you’re paying rent.”

“It’s a deal, mate.”

* * * * *

Buffy walked into her apartment later that night, closing the door with a
sigh. She really didn’t have a right to feel mad at William. She knew that
she would have asked the same question if the situation had been reversed.
She was a little annoyed that he had neglected to tell her that he had a
twin brother, but she could even overlook that.

What Buffy couldn’t ignore was the guilt that was nagging at her. She cared
for William, she had since they began dating. Tonight, she had gotten so
excited because, for the first time, when she kissed him, she felt a fire
erupt in her. Only it wasn’t him…it was Spike.

Buffy slid down the door, clutching her legs as she rested her chin on her
knees.

“It’s not fair,” she mumbled to herself. “I have a great guy, and I’m having
lusty wrong feelings about his brother. Who’s probably a jerk and uses
women by the truckload,” she added as an afterthought. “Right, so there’s
really no contest. I care about William, he cares about me. No problem at all.”

Then why did she feel butterflies when she thought of Spike?

Chapter 3


Buffy walked into her office early Monday morning. She flipped on lights
as she walked, tossing her purse down on her desk. Buffy gasped as she saw a figure standing in the corner. Breathing heavily as she put her hand over
her heart, Buffy stared at the man in her office. “William?”

“It’s me, Buffy,” Will said quietly, stepping out of the shadows.

Buffy looked at him in confusion. “What happened to you?”

“You don’t like it?”

Buffy looked at her boyfriend. His khakis and blue dress shirt were
replaced with a pair of black dress pants and a black shirt. Though his
glasses were still in place, his previously curly brown hair was now slicked
back. Buffy took a step forward, reaching out to touch his hair.

“Why’d you do this?”

Will shrugged. “Just ready for a change, that’s all.”

Buffy didn’t say anything, but it was obvious he was trying to look more
like his brother.

“Do you like it?”

‘Hell yeah...bad Buffy!’

“You look good,” Buffy said with a nod. ‘Edible,’ she thought, trying to
restrain herself from licking her lips. ‘Bad brain,’ Buffy thought, giving
herself a mental slap.

“I really am sorry about what I said the other night, Buffy,” William said
as he crossed the room to pull her into his arms. “You know I was just
upset, don’t you?”

Buffy nodded, gently tracing the lines of his muscular biceps through the
material of his shirt. “I shouldn’t have walked out like that. It was just
a lot to process.”

“I know. I should have told you about Spike. He has this tendency of
showing up when you least expect him to.”

Buffy smiled, trying to fight the blush she felt creeping into her cheeks
at the mention of Spike. When she knew it was impossible, Buffy stood on
her tiptoes to press her lips to William’s. Wrapping her hands around his
neck, Buffy deepened the kiss trying to feel the amount of passion that she
felt the other night. Guilt immediately overwhelmed her as she realized
what she was doing, but she tried to ignore it as her tongue stroked against
his.

Pulling away after a moment, William leaned his forehead against Buffy’s.
“Wow,” he whispered, breathing heavily.

“Yeah,” Buffy said in agreement, pushing down that nagging little voice in
her head that was trying to remind her of a different kiss with a different
man.

“I better get to my classroom,” William said, pulling away from Buffy. “Can
I take you to dinner tonight?”

“Sure,” Buffy said with a smile.

* * * * *

Buffy sat through dinner that night, making pleasant conversation with
William. He had really pulled out all the stops, trying to make up for what
he said to her the other night. They had left early to drive to a four -star restaurant in Los Angeles, complete with dancing.

William held her tenderly in his arms as they swayed to the music. Buffy
tried to lose herself in the music as she felt his arms tighten around her
waist.

“I love you.”

The whispered admission was so quiet, Buffy thought she had imagined it.
When she pulled away from him slightly to look in his eyes, she saw it was
very real. It was only the second time Will had told her that, and Buffy
felt panic at the idea that he may want her to return the sentiment.

“It’s okay, Buffy. You don’t have to say it, I just wanted you to know,”
Will said softly before bending his head for his lips to claim hers in a
soft kiss. Pulling away from her, Will noticed that she was looking more
tired. “You ready to go, Buffy?”

She seemed to think about her answer for a minute before giving him a
slight nod.

On the way to the car, Buffy stopped and pulled William into a tight hug.
“Thank you,” she whispered into the sleeve of his coat as they held each
other. “I can’t believe you went to this much trouble for me…and on a
school night,” she added with a laugh.

“You’re worth it,” he murmured into her hair as he breathed in the vanilla
scent that seemed to waft around him.

* * * * *

When they got back to Sunnydale, Buffy was nearly asleep when she heard
Will’s voice. “Stay with me.”

Her eyes flew open as she looked over at him. “What?”

“Stay the night…please,” he added with a hopeful tone in his voice.

“Will, I don’t have any clothes. We’ve got school in the morning.”

“I’ll take you to your place first thing in the morning. I just want to be
close to you tonight,” he said as he reached for her hand and gave it a
gentle squeeze.

“Okay,” Buffy agreed softly. “I’ll stay.”

* * * * *

Hours later, Buffy sat with a mug of hot chocolate at the kitchen island.
William had been asleep for a while, and Buffy hadn’t even been able to
close her eyes. She stared at the floating marshmallows that swirled in her
cup as she restlessly kicked her legs against the side of the stool.

Hearing a noise, Buffy snapped her head toward the doorway, her mouth
dropping open when she saw Spike standing there.

“What are you doing here?” they both asked simultaneously.

Buffy was the first to answer. “Will wanted me to stay the night.”

Spike looked her up and down, taking in the boxers that were obviously his
brother’s, and the t-shirt that was too large for her tiny frame. He felt
his jaw clench at the images that seemed to flood his brain.

”What about you?” he heard her ask.

“I live here now,” Spike said calmly. He watched in amusement as Buffy’s
eyes widened to almost double their size as she stared at him.

“What?”

“Yep,” Spike said, taking off his duster and plopping down on the stool
across from her. “Needed a place to crash for a while. Willie’s helpin’ me
out,” he continued as he reached across to grab the mug from her hands,
taking a large swallow and putting it back in front of her. He watched as
the different emotions seemed to play out on her face. “What's the matter,
luv? Don’t trust yourself when you’re around me?” he asked with a smile
playing on his lips.

‘Exactly!’

“Of course not,” she said to him. “I’m dating your twin brother. I’ve got
the original.”

Spike smirked at the sassy attitude. “He’s not the original, pet. He was
just first. Five minutes later, I came along, and nothing was ever the same.”

“Now that I believe.”

After a moment, Spike’s smile faded as he stared down at the tile. “Why him, Buffy?”

Buffy looked up, shocked at the question. “Why not him?”

“That’s not exactly an answer,” Spike said seriously with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy sighed. “He’s nice. He treats me well. What more can I ask for?”

“Maybe what you thought you had with him the other night?”

Buffy felt her mouth go dry as she looked into his solemn face. “Just a
case of mistaken identity,” she said, averting her eyes.

“So, you’re telling me that you and my brother have always had that kind of
passion?”

“That’s a personal question,” Buffy replied, looking up at him with a glare.

“Doesn’t stop you from answering it, luv.”

“He loves me. Why’s it so hard to believe that we wouldn’t have passion?”

“Because I know him, pet. And based on the other night, I know you pretty
well, too. He’s not exactly a ‘seize the moment’ type of guy. He lost his
virginity when he was a senior in college to a woman who couldn’t have
given a rat’s ass about him. He was nothing to her, and afterwards, she told
him to get out of her room. That he was beneath her.”

Buffy felt her heart ache for William as she looked down at her hands. She
could strangle that woman for hurting someone with a heart like his. “That
still doesn’t tell me why you think Will and I have nothing together.”

“Because he doesn’t open up, Buffy.”

“And you do?” she asked skeptically.

Spike shrugged as got up to get a beer out of the refrigerator. “I’m not
saying I share my feelings with every person I come in contact with, but I
do live in the now. Which is more than I can say for my brother.”

“He’s happy,” Buffy said quietly.

“He’s happiest when things are uninteresting. That’s why he doesn’t like
me,” Spike said with a smirk as he took a swallow of beer.

“Are you saying I’m boring?” Buffy asked angrily, standing up.

Spike advanced on her, and Buffy could feel her heartbeat speed up as he got
closer. When she was successfully backed into a wall, Spike let his eyes
trail over her body. “I don’t think you could ever be boring, luv,” he said
in a husky voice.

She watched as his lips descended to hers, coming to her senses and turning
her head just as they made contact. Spike pulled away, confused, as he
looked down at her.

“We can’t do this, Spike. It’s not right.”

“Sometimes it’s more fun to do the wrong thing,” Spike said softly as he
played with her hair.

“You just told me about how Will got his heart broken. I’m not going to
treat him like that. I care too much about him to intentionally hurt him.”

Spike took a step back, studying her for a minute as he bit his lip. “Good
answer, luv,” he said as he turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Once Spike was alone in his room, he felt his courage leave him as he
banged his head against the door. “Bloody hell, what’s she doing to me?”

A/N Because so many people have reviewed and e-mailed me telling me how much they love this story, I decided to combine two chapters for you today! Hope you like them and please keep reviewing!

Chapter 4


The next night, Buffy and William sat cuddling together on his couch. Buffy
had tried to talk him into coming to her place, but he had resisted. She
had only agreed to come over and watch movies when she knew that Spike
wouldn’t be there.

This delighted William since he assumed she didn’t want to see Spike
because she was angry at him. In fact, Buffy had a much different reason
for not wanting to see him, but she kept that to herself. She hadn’t even
told her friends yet since she still wasn’t used to the idea herself.

She had told her friends about the mistaken identity the other night at the
Bronze. Willow and Tara had listened sympathetically while Faith had
laughed so hard, she almost started hyperventilating.

“I should probably get going,” Buffy mumbled as she began to untangle
herself from William. Before she could comprehend what was happening, she
found herself pinned to the couch as Will began passionately kissing her.
She tried to keep up with his eager pace, but she soon found herself
struggling to breathe. Buffy didn’t know what brought on this change in
Will’s attitude, but she wasn’t sure she liked it. William pulled back
just as Buffy was about to shove him away. She didn’t know why he stopped,
but she didn’t care either as she lay on the couch, gasping for air.

She saw Will’s gaze go to the archway that led to the front door and turned
to look. It was then that she saw Spike standing there.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Spike said with a glare. “I just forgot something
in my room,” he continued as he walked to the stairs.

Buffy looked at William as Spike disappeared. “What the hell was that?”

“A kiss, Buffy. We’ve done it before.”

“Not with you practically molesting me, we haven’t,” Buffy said angrily.

“So, it’s a crime to want to kiss my girlfriend?”

“No, of course…” Buffy trailed off as comprehension settled on her face. “You knew.”

“Knew what?”

“You knew Spike was about to walk in, didn’t you?”

“What are you going on about, Buffy?”

Buffy jumped up from the couch, walking to the door as Will followed her.
“What? Were you just trying to mark your territory?” she cried angrily,
pulling the door open. She paused as she walked out into the night air
before common sense got the best of her. Turning and slowly walking back to
William, she said, “I know what you’re thinking, but Will…I’m with you,”
she said softly. “You don’t have to prove anything to me, okay?”

“I don’t want to mess this up, Buffy,” he said quietly.

“Then don’t change your attitude towards me. Just treat me the way you
always have and stop worrying about your brother. I’m sorry I kissed him.
You have no idea how sorry I am, but it never would have happened if I’d
known about him.” Buffy stood on her tiptoes and planted a gentle kiss on
his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“At least let me drive you home,” he said.

“Will, we go through this every time I leave. I’ll be fine. I like to
walk.”

William nodded as he watched her walk down the front path. Turning at the
end of the driveway, Buffy gave him a wave. She sighed as she got out of
his range of vision. She hadn’t lied to William- she was sorry that she’d
kissed Spike because it made her question everything she’d found
comfortable. At the same time, she wouldn’t take it back for anything in
the world.

Without another thought, Buffy grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket and
dialed Faith’s number.

“Hello!” Faith shouted over some loud music.

“Faith, where are you?”

“The Bronze!”

“I’m going to stop by. I think I need some time away from everything.”

“On a school night, Miss Summers?” Faith said in a teasing tone. “Why,
whatever would your boyfriend say?”

“Faith, give it a rest. I’ll be there in ten.”

“I’ll be here.”

* * * * *

Buffy walked into the club a few minutes later, scanning the area for her
friend.

“Hey, B!” Faith called out to her from her position, sitting on one of the
pool tables. Buffy waved and walked over to her. “Love the outfit,
Summers,” Faith said as Buffy got closer.

Looking down at her jeans and black tank top, Buffy shrugged. “I was
planning on watching movies, not going clubbing.”

Faith hopped down from her spot on the pool table and walked over to a man
playing pool. “Buffy Summers, meet Xander Harris.”

Buffy shook Xander’s hand, smiling at him.

“Buffy Summers? Yeah, I’ve heard about you,” he said.

“Good things, I hope,” Buffy said, shooting a glance at Faith.

Faith shrugged, looking at Xander. “No, it wasn’t from Faith.”

“Who then?”

“Him,” Xander said, gesturing to the door as he went back to sink a ball.

Buffy turned around and groaned when she saw Spike walking towards her. She
saw him falter slightly when he made eye contact with her, but he kept
walking.

“Summers,” he said with a slight nod in her direction. “Sorry I’m late,
Harris. The brother felt the need to start an argument before I left.”

Buffy frowned but ignored it. “You two know each other?” Buffy asked,
looking from Xander to Spike.

“Since high school,” Spike said, never looking at her as he lit a cigarette.
“Rack ‘em, Harris.”

Faith grabbed Buffy’s arm and pulled her closer to the bar, sitting down on
one of the stools. “So, what’s with the big emergency?”

“No emergency. I just wanted to get out for a night, you know how it is.”

Faith nodded but looked at Buffy skeptically. “So, what do you think of
Xander?”

“Seems like a nice enough guy,” Buffy said with a shrug. “Don’t tell me
it’s serious?”

“Not yet,” Faith said, looking slightly nervous.

“You’re kidding!” Buffy said excitedly. “Faith Wilkins is thinking about a
monogamous relationship?”

“Keep it down, B. It’s not public knowledge yet.”

“Well, I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Faith said quietly.

“So you know Spike?” Buffy asked, trying to seem nonchalant about it.

“We met last night. Xander introduced us.” Buffy nodded as Faith looked at
her in sudden understanding. “Oh my God! You have the hots for him,” she
said quietly.

“Faith, of course I don’t! I have Will.”

“Just because you have a man, doesn’t mean you can’t lust after another.
Especially one that you shared a wicked kiss with the other night,” Faith
said with a devilish smile.

Buffy looked at the bar surface and sighed. “Promise you won’t tell
anyone?”

“Cross my heart,” Faith said seriously.

“I-I’ve been having these feelings,” Buffy said quietly. “And they started
because of that kiss.”

“You want Spike,” Faith replied calmly.

Buffy sighed again and nodded. “Sometimes. But then other times, I just
want it to be the way it was between me and William.”

“The way it was? What’s going on?”

“He’s just…Will’s just getting more possessive, which I can totally
understand why…but he’s just acting so funny. His attitude is changing,
his actions are changing.”

“Like what?”

“Like tonight…I think he knew Spike was about to walk in, and he practically
threw me down on the couch and started kissing me.”

“Kinky,” Faith said with a smile. “And you didn’t like it?”

“It just wasn’t like him.”

“But if a blonder version of him had done that, you wouldn’t be
complaining?”

Buffy didn’t say anything for a moment as she stared at the bar. “I just
care about William so much,” she whispered.

Faith rubbed Buffy’s back, letting go of her false bravado for a minute as
she comforted her friend. “You can’t help how you feel, Buff.”

“But I can help what I do.”

“Yeah…but do you want to?”

Buffy seemed to think about it for a minute before looking at Faith. “I
can’t hurt him, Faith. I can’t risk getting rid of someone who loves me
for what could only turn out to be a fling. Am I just being selfish?”

Faith looked at Buffy sadly. “Not for me to say, B.”

Buffy turned around and saw Spike watching her. She felt the unfamiliar
tingling go up her spine before he looked away.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Faith said quietly. “What if he doesn’t
want a fling?”

Buffy watched as a girl approached Spike, leaning forward to whisper
something in his ear. He shot Buffy a look before snaking an arm around
her waist and leading her to the dance floor.

Faith caught Buffy’s despondent look and threw an arm around her shoulders.
“You want to go somewhere else?”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “I think I’m just gonna head home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said, offering her friend a small smile. She passed by the
pool table on her way to the door. “It was nice to meet you, Xander.”

“You too, Buffster. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said with a friendly
smile as Buffy nodded.

“Bye, Faith. Thanks for listening.”

“No problem, Buff.”

Buffy headed to the door of the Bronze, pausing with one hand on the door
and the other holding the frame. Turning, she let herself look once more at
Spike before walking out of the club.
Chapter 5

Spike wandered over to join his friend when the song ended. Subtly looking
around the interior of the club, trying to see where Buffy was, he heard
Faith’s voice next to him.

“She’s not here.”

Turning around, he gave her a quizzical look. “Where’d she go?” he asked,
trying to act as if he didn’t care.

“She decided to walk home. Didn’t feel like hangin’ around,” Faith said
with a smile. She was able to see right through this man. The tough guy
exterior was just a façade. Inside, she knew he was probably similar to his
brother; therefore, still good enough for her friend.

Faith liked William, she really did, but she didn’t think he fit with Buffy.
He needed someone a little more outgoing to really draw him out of his
shell. Since Buffy needed the same thing, Spike seemed to be the perfect
man for the job.

“You know,” Faith said as she swigged on her beer bottle. “She lives kinda
far away. I mean, it’s practically on the other side of town. Sure isn’t
safe walking home at this time of night,” Faith said with a shake of her
head. She had to suppress a smile as Spike looked at the door. “She’s
probably only a block away right now,” she continued with an innocent
expression.

“Well, I was thinkin’ about takin’ off anyway. I s’pose I could see if she
needs a lift.”

“Yeah, you should do that,” Faith agreed with a nod.

Spike said his good-byes and bolted for the door.

“You’re evil,” Xander said with a smile as he came up to stand next to
Faith.

“I am, aren’t I?” Faith said with a smile. “Got the job done though, didn’t
I?”

“Only one little problem,” Xander said, looking over at her. “What about
Will? He’s been my friend for as long as Spike, and if this pans out the way
you’re hoping, he’s going to end up hurt.”

“We’ll see.”

* * * * *

Buffy heard a motorcycle approaching but decided to ignore it. She felt
her heart begin to beat more rapidly when she heard it slowing down.
Turning around, Buffy saw Spike get off the bike and walk toward her.

“What are you doing?”

“Came to offer you a ride, pet.”

“You followed me?”

“No, of course not. I just…I, uh,…I was leaving, and Faith mentioned you
were walking so I...bloody hell, do you want a lift or not?”

Buffy had to smile at his exasperated tone of voice. “It does sound better
than walking for an hour.”

“Hop on,” Spike said, walking over to the motorcycle and flipping a leg over
the side.

Buffy followed and took the spot behind him, hesitating before she wrapped
her arms around his waist. Spike smiled as he restarted the bike before
pulling away from the curb.

Buffy gave him directions to her place, and they were there before she knew
it. When the bike came to a stop several minutes later, Buffy slowly removed her arms from his
lean torso and smiled when he dismounted to offer her a hand.

“What a gentleman.”

Spike scoffed at her description, but she could see the smile playing on his
lips.

“So…would you want to come up? For hot chocolate or something, not…”

Spike smiled as he watched the blush rise in her cheeks. Tilting her eyes up
to his, he nodded. “That would be nice, luv.”

A few minutes later, they were sitting in the kitchen of her apartment,
asking questions about each other. Spike was doing most of the asking
since Buffy knew a lot of Spike’s family history through William. It seems
the only thing he left out about his family was the fact that he had a
twin.

“There’s not a third one out there of you, is there?”

Spike laughed at the question. “Why? Would that be too much for you, pet?”

Buffy blushed but smiled at the comment. “I just wouldn’t want to make the
same mix-up that I made when I met you.”

Spike had to smile since she said ‘mix-up’ instead of ‘mistake.’

“There’s only Will and me, Summers. What about you?”

“My family?” Buffy asked as she poured the mugs of hot chocolate, throwing a
handful of marshmallows into each. “Pretty short story. My dad left us
about seven years ago. He lives in L.A., and we never see him. Mom moved to
Sunnydale with my sister and me.”

Buffy handed him the steaming mug as she finished her story. “You have a
sister?”

“No ideas, buddy! She’s still in high school,” Buffy said, pointing a
finger at him.

Spike laughed and held up his hands in surrender. “Furthest thing from my
mind, pet. I promise.”

“Good,” Buffy said with a smile. “Anyway, yeah, I have a sister. She and
mom live a few miles away. I decided to move out at the first of the year,
what with pretending to be a grown-up and all.”

“Pretending?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Alright, onto more grown-up topics then. Sexual history?”

Buffy looked at him for a moment. “You first,” she said in a challenging
voice.

“Too many to count, luv.” At Buffy’s look, he continued, “I’m kidding. One
in high school- we broke up when she went to college. Two in college that
never really amounted to anything. One serious relationship for several
years, but ultimately, nothing you’d wanna build a future on. And when we
broke up over a year ago, there’s been a few one-night stands.”

Buffy sat listening, hating herself for feeling jealous of these women and
berating herself for thinking about Spike in a sexual context when she was
dating his brother.

“Your turn, luv.”

“Not much to tell,” Buffy said with a shrug as she got up to take her mug to
the sink. “There was a guy when I was in high school. He was…older, and
we…well, I thought we made love.”

“You didn’t?”

“From my point of view,” Buffy said with a shrug. “He obviously didn’t feel
the same way. The morning after experience wasn’t the best,” she said with
a sad smile. “I went off to college over a year later and met a guy. You
know what they say…history repeats.”

Spike felt anger go through him at the way she had been used by men in the
past. In some ways, he was glad that she was with his brother. At least
Spike knew Will wouldn’t do the same thing. “Is that it then?”

“Um…another guy in college. Nice Iowa farm boy. We had it good for about
a year, but he decided to see what else was out there. That was about two
years ago.”

“And then Will,” Spike said softly, watching as Buffy bit her lip and turned
away from him. Spike stood up and walked over to lean against the sink.
“Do you love him?”

“He loves me,” Buffy said quietly.

“And when that’s not enough…what happens?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered softly.

“What about me?” Spike murmured in her ear, enjoying the shiver that went
down her spine. He was surprised when Buffy whirled around to face him.

“What is this to you?” Buffy asked, gesturing between the two of them. “Is
this just some bizarre competition? You swoop into town, spook your brother
and make him act all strange, and try and get me all confused?”

“I didn’t come here to steal his girl, if that’s what you’re asking me, Buffy.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I needed a place to stay-“

“No! Here!” she cried, gesturing around her kitchen.

“Because I can’t get you out of my soddin’ mind!”

Buffy froze at the admission.

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered as he looked at the floor. “What did you
mean, he’s acting all strange?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“Spike-“

“Buffy, I don’t want to hear another word about it, alright? There’s
nothing to discuss, just tell me what you meant about Will changing.”

Buffy swallowed hard, trying to forget what he’d said. “You haven’t
noticed?”

“The clothes, the hair, yeah, but nothing out of the ordinary about how he’s
acting.”

“So walking in on us tonight, you didn’t think it was a little weird?”

“For my brother to be making out with a girl on the couch, yeah. Except
you’re his girlfriend, pet.”

“Spike, he’s never acted like that before.”

“Like what?”

“Forceful.”

“Are you saying he was going to-“

“NO!” Buffy said quickly, vigorously shaking her head. “No, he’d never do
that, but it was unnerving for him to be acting so…”

Spike looked at her for a minute before responding. “Do you want me to talk
to him?”

“No,” Buffy said. “I don’t want to be responsible for a fight between you
two.”

“Too late,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing, pet,” he said quickly.

Buffy watched him for a minute before taking a step closer to him. “Spike,
what happened?”

“We just got into a fight, Buffy, it was nothing. It’s what brothers do.”

“Was it about me?”
“That’s not important?”
“Was it?”

“Yes,” he admitted quietly.

“Did you hit him?” she asked softly.

“He hit me first, luv.”

“Spike-“

“Buffy, he’s fine! He’s probably just got a nice shiner now, is all. Don’t
worry that pretty little head about it.”

“I was going to ask about you.”

Spike looked at her in surprise before nodding. “I’ll be fine.”

Her eyes traveled the length of his body as she stepped forward, gingerly
rubbing her hand over his stomach. Spike hissed in pain as he backed away
from her.

“You’re not fine.”

“I’m fine.”

“Let me see,” Buffy said, gently tugging at his shirt.

“Buffy-“

“Spike-“

Spike gently took her hand in his. “I’ll be okay.”

Buffy felt her breathing pick up as she realized what close proximity she
was in. Spike seemed to notice at the same time and slowly took a step away
from her.

“I should probably go.”

“That might be a good idea,” she said softly.

Spike gritted his teeth, trying to fight the urge to kiss her, as she stared
up at him. Exhaling deeply, Spike turned and headed for the door. “I’ll
see you later, luv.”

Buffy felt herself begin to shake as she heard the door close quietly
behind him. Running both hands through her hair, Buffy closed her eyes and
exhaled, tilting her head up to the ceiling.

“Get it together, Buffy.”

Chapter 6


Buffy sat in her office the next day, going through some of her files, when
she heard the door open. Looking up, she saw William standing in the
doorway. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Buffy said with a small smile.

Walking into the office, Will leaned against Buffy’s desk as she sat back in
her chair. “Look, Buffy, I know I’m doing this a lot lately, but I’m sorry
about the other night.”

Buffy folded her arms over her chest as she looked at him. “That’s quite a
black eye you’ve got there. What happened?”

“Oh, uh, getting dressed in the dark. You know how it is,” he said with a
wave of his hand.

“You’re lying.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Alright…Spike and I, kind of, got into it last night after you left.”

“About me?”

“Part of it.”

Buffy stood up, positioning herself in front of him. “William, what’s going on
with you?”

“I just don’t like him around you, Buffy. Especially considering the
circumstances that you met him under.”

“So the bottom line is, you don’t trust me.”

“I don’t trust him.”

Buffy stared at him for several moments before speaking. “What’s really
bothering you?”

William sighed before reaching out and pulling Buffy close to him. “Were
you attracted to him, Buffy?”

“Will, don’t take this the wrong way,” she said gently. “But of course I
was. I was attracted to him the same way I’m attracted to you. You’re
twins.”

“Even after you saw how different we are?”

“Will, don’t do this to yourself.”

“Answer the question, Buffy, and please don’t lie to me.”

“Yes…I was.”

She watched as William nodded as he turned and walked to the door.

“So that’s it?” Buffy asked angrily. “You’re just going to walk away
because I told you the truth? You know, Will, I could have lied. I could
have conveniently ‘forgotten’ that he wasn’t you, but I didn’t!”

“Buffy, I’m just going to class.”

Buffy visibly calmed down. “Are we still on for tonight?”

“Better make it tomorrow. Something’s come up.”

Buffy looked at him in confusion but didn’t question him. “Okay, I’ll see
you later.”

* * * * *

William sat in his home later that night. The lights were dimmed in his
office as he sipped a tall glass of brandy. Hearing his brother walk in,
William looked up from the picture on his desk to stare into the identical
set of eyes.

“What’s wrong with you, mate?”

“Nothing,” Will grumbled, his accent taking on a gruff sound, making him
sound more like Spike.

“Oh, so you usually sit drinking in the dark when nothing’s wrong?” Spike
asked as he turned on a light.

“I need your help with something, Spike.”

“Have you forgotten who you’re talking to, Will?”

“No, and I need your help.”

* * * * *

Buffy dressed in black pants and a royal blue sleeveless shirt the
following night. She had tried to find William in school today, and he’d
apparently taken a sick day. She’d tried to call him, and he didn’t answer,
so she was assuming he was still going to pick her up.

Hearing a knock on the door, Buffy hurriedly put on her earrings as she ran
for it. Throwing it open with a smile, the smile faded as she looked at the
man on the other side.

“Spike?” she asked, taking in the jeans and black t-shirt with the bleached
hair.

“It’s me, Buffy.”

“William?! What did you do?” Buffy stared, open-mouthed at Will. He
looked identical to his brother. There was no longer a single feature that
could help in telling the two apart. Except maybe the absence of the
duster.

“It’s what you wanted, right?”

“How can you ask me that? Did I ever ask you to change for me?”

“It’s not about what you asked for me to do, Buffy.”

Buffy sighed as she walked out the door, deciding to drop the subject for
the time being. “So where are we going tonight?”

“I thought we’d head to the Bronze.”

“But you hate it there,” Buffy said in disbelief.

“Maybe I want to give it another try.”

Buffy stared at him for a moment. It was unnerving to see Spike from every
angle but know that it was William. Even more unnerving that he was
beginning to sound like Spike. This wasn’t him. At least he wasn’t using
the nicknames for her. Though she didn’t mind when Spike called her ‘luv’
or ‘pet’, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear those words coming out of
Will’s mouth.

“You ready to go, Buffy?”

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Will’s car sitting in the
parking lot. If she had seen a motorcycle, Buffy was sure she would have
turned around and headed back into the house.

“I guess,” she murmured.
* * * * *

Buffy and William walked into the Bronze ten minutes later. Buffy watched
him skeptically as they made their way through the crowd. The thought had
crossed her mind that this could be Spike with her, but she quickly
dismissed it.

“Buffy, why don’t you go get us some drinks,” Will said, handing her a
twenty. “I’m gonna go say hello to Xander.”

Buffy looked in the direction he was walking and saw Xander at the pool
table. She didn’t see Faith, but she had no doubt that the brunette would
be along soon enough, so she headed for the bar and placed her order.

“Surprised, luv?”

Buffy turned when she heard Spike’s distinct voice to her left. “Surprise
doesn’t begin to cover it.”

“Yeah, he was pretty gung-ho about the whole change,” Spike said, resting
his back against the bar. Buffy looked over and felt a chill creep down her
spine. The two were even dressed alike. Spike’s duster was gone tonight,
probably due to the hot weather they were having, and his jeans were
slightly darker, but otherwise, identical.

“Why did he do it, Spike?”

“You really have to ask that?”

“Yeah…I really do.”

“He thought he was losing you, luv.”

“So turning into a clone of his already identical twin was the perfect way
for him to hold on to me?”

“Something like that.”

Buffy sighed, shredding a napkin as she stared down at her hands.

“Can I ask you something, pet?”

Buffy looked over at him, seeing the boyish way he was biting his bottom
lip, as if he was too shy to actually ask the question.

“Sure.”

Spike took a deep breath as he looked down at the floor. “If you had met me
first…”

“Would I have been interested?”

Spike looked at her but didn’t say anything as Buffy turned to stare into
the growing crowd of people. “Probably,” she murmured softly. Buffy saw
the slight smile that formed on Spike’s face. Turning to him, she
continued, “But, Spike, that means we can’t…it’s different.”

Spike stared at her with his unfathomable blue eyes. She could see the hurt
in them and felt guilty. She felt guilty for Will feeling he had to change
to be what he thought she wanted. She felt guilty that she wasn’t happier
about the change because she was still thinking about Spike. And she felt
really guilty for staring into Spike’s eyes and feeling more alive than
she’d felt since his lips had been on hers almost a week ago.

“Buffy?”

Buffy’s eyes snapped over to her right as she heard William next to her.
“You gonna stand here all night?”

She saw the look that passed between the two brothers and pushed away from
the bar. With drinks in hand, she took a step closer to William, holding
out his drink and giving him a blinding smile. He seemed to visibly relax
at the gesture and took the drink from her. Before she knew what happened,
his lips were on hers in a soft kiss.

Buffy was grateful that it wasn’t the overpowering, claiming kiss he’d given
her the other day. Closing her eyes, she relaxed slightly. This was
William. This was the way she was used to being treated by him. Pulling
away, Buffy turned to head over to Xander. She could see Faith standing at
the table now, giving her a questioning look. On her way, Buffy couldn’t
help but see the look on Spike’s face. She offered him a tender smile as
she passed, knowing that if she was to stop and talk to him, it would only
add to the tension.

Faith grabbed Buffy’s elbow as they got closer and led her away from the
two men. “Okay, spill,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“There’s nothing to spill. I think you know as much as I do at this point.”

“So William is morphing into Spike in front of your eyes, and you don’t find
that a little weird?”

“I didn’t say that. I don’t know what’s going on with him, Faith. It’s not
like this was some kind of gradual change- he just showed up at my
apartment. I thought he was Spike at first, until he started talking.”

Faith looked over at the men, raising her eyebrows. “Is it working?”

“What?”

“Whatever he’s trying to accomplish. It’s obvious he knows that you’re
attracted to his brother, so he’s upping the ante for you.”

Buffy swallowed hard as she looked at her boyfriend. She didn’t know how
she felt. She couldn’t get past the weirdness factor of looking at him and
seeing his brother. Faith patted her gently on the arm as they turned and
walked back over to Xander and William.

* * * * *

A few hours later, William pulled into his driveway.

“Will, aren’t you going to take me home?” Buffy asked.

“I thought you could stay here tonight.”

Buffy looked at him strangely. “Don’t you normally ask me if I want to?”

“I didn’t think you’d mind,” William said with a shrug.

“Well, you thought wrong,” she said angrily.

“What’s the big deal, Buffy? You’ve stayed here before- it’s not like it’s
a soddin’ problem.”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief as his voice changed into Spike’s. “Okay,
this is getting creepy, William.”

“What’s that?” he asked, giving her a bored look.

“This change,” Buffy said, gesturing wildly at him. “I never asked for
this. I never asked you to do anything!” she yelled as she jumped out of
the car.

William stepped out on his side as she came around to stand in front of
him. “It’s obvious this is what you want, Buffy,” he said angrily.

“Oh really?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips. “And why is that?”

“Because you haven’t touched me since that wanker came to town!” he yelled.

Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she stared at him. “I can’t believe you,” she
said quietly. “That’s what this has been about? It hasn’t even been a week
that he’s been in town, and you do a complete physical and mental change
because I haven’t kissed you as much?” William stared into her angry face
as she spoke. “I don’t like this, Will. I started dating you because
you’re YOU! I started dating the man who treated me with respect!”

“And when respect isn’t enough, you just figured you’d go running to the
next best thing,” William yelled back.

Buffy stared at him with cold eyes. “You don’t know anything about me,” she
said in a low voice. “You think you know me? You don’t know a damn thing.”

Buffy turned and began walking away.

“Oh, that’s it! Walk off when the going gets rough- it’s what you’re best
at!”

Buffy turned at the end of the driveway. “Maybe it is,” she said with a
shrug. “But at least I don’t have to change myself to feel good about me.”

* * * * *

Buffy walked into the Bronze for the second time that night. She had been
trying Faith’s cell phone, hoping to have a girl’s night, but it had been
turned off. Walking through the club, Buffy looked around, hoping to spot
her friend.

“She took off.”

Buffy turned and faced Spike. She was surprised by the angry look in his
eyes.

“So, what are you doing back, pet?” he asked. “Thought you’d be curled up in
my brother’s bed by now.”

Buffy stared at him in shock, her mouth dropped open at the callous tone he
was using. “Is that your business?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Maybe not,” Spike said with a shrug, dropping his cigarette on the floor.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sure it’s your calling,” he said, looking her up
and down.

Buffy felt a range of emotions course through her body. “What the hell is
your problem?!” she cried, letting anger win out.

“Don’t have a problem, pet. Just trying to pay a girl a compliment,” he
said in a condescending tone.

“Well, then do me a favor…don’t!”

“Well, someone’s got their knickers in a twist,” Spike said with a smirk.

“Yeah? Seems to me, someone’s got his mind in the gutter.”

“Maybe,” he said seductively as he advanced on her. “Up for a round on the
balcony, luv? Promise you’ll have fun.”

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked, shoving him away.

“You have, Summers! Teasing me, leading me on, I’m bloody tired of it. So
why don’t you do us all a favor- go find my dear old brother and give him a
good shag, 'cause God knows he needs it,” Spike said through gritted teeth.
“And maybe you do, too,” he said as an afterthought.

“You’re a pig, Spike,” Buffy said angrily as she turned and headed out the
door.

Spike felt remorse course through him as she slammed the door shut behind
her. He knew he was only taking out his anger at himself, and maybe at his
brother, on her, and she didn’t deserve it. But at the same time, he
couldn’t find it in himself to go after her. Stomping down any feelings he
had about chasing her, Spike turned and headed the other way.

A/N I know, both Will and Spike turned into jerks. You’re not supposed to like either of them at this point, trust me! I’ll make it better!

Chapter 7


Buffy had been home for over an hour and still hadn’t been able to calm
down. It was getting close to midnight, and she knew she wouldn’t be able
to get much sleep tonight. Her mind kept going over everything that had
transpired over the past few hours. William showing up looking like Spike,
the different attitude, the fight.

She was starting to realize what William was going through, and she was
beginning to feel guilty for yelling at him about something as mediocre as
changing his hair and clothes. It was his life. Who was she to tell him
what he should or shouldn’t be doing with it?

However, Will wasn’t the only reason she was still awake. It was Spike’s
voice that filled her head whenever she tried to relax, the tone his words
had taken on as he stood belittling her to make himself feel better. The
way he looked when he was yelling at her for leading him on. Buffy paced
her apartment as his voice kept coming back to her.

She didn’t mean to make him feel that way, to make him feel as if he had to
lash out at her. She knew that he enjoyed a flirtation with her, but she
had no idea what his feelings toward her were. Buffy had just assumed that
he wanted to get under his brother’s skin by flirting with her. She knew
that he seemed happy when she’d admitted that she probably would have dated
him if it weren’t for William, but she had simply attributed that to male
pride at the fact that she would have given him a chance.

Buffy rubbed her arms, trying to ward off the chill she felt coming over
her. She was beginning to feel a headache threaten to overwhelm her as her
thoughts drifted back and forth from one man to the other. She knew she had
to make it up to William for the way she’d been acting lately. She thought
about the hurt look on his face whenever Spike was even mentioned. She knew
that she would be devastated if she was in the same position, so why was she
making it even harder for him?
She didn’t love him, it was true, but she didn’t love Spike either. Maybe if she were given enough time she could fall in love with William. It was better than risking what she had with him on a chance of something she wasn’t even sure of. Now all she had to do was apologize.

Buffy’s thoughts were running wild when she heard someone knock on the door.
She glanced at the clock with a puzzled expression on her face. She saw
that it was exactly midnight and frowned. No one came over at this time of
night, unless it was Faith, and she always called beforehand. Buffy made her
way to the front door and hesitated a moment. “Who is it?”

“It’s me,” she heard the soft voice answer through the door.

“William,” she said softly before unlocking the door. She pulled it
open to reveal him on the other side. He looked up at her
with sad eyes full of insecurity as she timidly folded her arms across her chest, wondering if
he was coming to finish their fight. Buffy decided she should tread
lightly, not wanting to hurt his feelings any more than she had already done
tonight. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly, stepping aside to
let him come in as she tried to keep her voice soft and neutral.

He looked up at her with sorrowful eyes as he stepped into her apartment. “I’m sorry.”

Buffy almost didn’t hear the whispered confession, but she gave him a small
smile as she shut the door behind him. “I’m sorry, too.”

Buffy stared at him uncertainly for a moment before she slowly stood on her
tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his lips, bracing her hands against his
strong chest, waiting to see if he would respond to her. He moaned slightly
as his arms went around her waist, dipping his tongue into Buffy’s mouth,
delicately tasting her. Buffy felt her heart rate speed up at the tender
display before twining her arms around his neck and deepening the kiss even
further.

Buffy relished the feel of him against her. The gentle, but passionate,
kisses that he was lavishing on her lips. She began to feel lightheaded as
his lips broke away from hers and descended down her neck.

Pulling away from him, she looked up with a lust-filled gaze before
grabbing him by the hand. Not thinking before she acted, Buffy quickly headed toward her bedroom, practically dragging him as she made her way over to the
bed. Once she got to her destination, Buffy spun around again, pulling him
down for another kiss. She felt his body push against hers as she was
enveloped by a pair of strong arms. She eagerly pushed back, trying to get
closer.

Pulling away, they quickly divested each other of their
shirts and pants before fusing their lips together again. Buffy moaned as
she was gently pushed to the bed. She started panting as her bra and panties
were stripped from her, before he began crawling up her body, coming to rest in between
her thighs. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, leaving a soft kiss
on his lips before pulling back to look into his navy eyes.

“I need you,” she whispered softly, pulling gently on his newly bleached
hair and claiming his mouth again. “Please, baby.”

“Shhhh,” he whispered soothingly as he looked down at her. Buffy gasped as
she felt the tip of his shaft slowly entering her. She moaned as he gently
pushed further inside her, scratching at his back as she arched her hips
into his, trying to speed up the pace of his thrusts.

Buffy could feel him tense as he came to a stop, burying his face in the
crook of her neck, trying to stave off his climax from simply being fully
imbedded inside her. She knew he was trying to wait until he pushed her
over the edge before following, and she stayed still beneath him as she
waited for him to move again.

She gasped again as she felt him begin to move at a faster pace than she
expected. Buffy moaned as their pelvises began to grind together on every
stroke, arching her back as she felt one of his hands gently palm her
breast.

As their thrusting sped up, Buffy slowly began to feel the tightness begin
in her stomach, signaling her approaching orgasm. She moved more
frantically, trying to seek her release.

“Please,” she whimpered frantically. She gasped when he began lengthening
his strokes, pulling almost completely out of her before plunging back into
her hot depths. She arched against him again as he began stroking against
the sensitive bundle of nerves, hitting it at the perfect angle with every
movement their hips made. Buffy moaned as she threw her head back into the
pillow, feeling herself spiraling out of control with each thrust of their
bodies.

Buffy began writhing underneath him as her body exploded in ecstasy. She
felt his hand wind around her body to rest on the small of her back, just
above the swell of her butt, as he pulled her closer, plunging into her with
lack of control. Before long, Buffy could feel his body begin shaking as he
began pulsing deep inside of her, shooting stream after stream into her
waiting body.

Looking at each other in the calming aftermath of their love making, their
lips met in a tender kiss as they tried to steady their erratic breathing.
Buffy felt as if her body was melting into his at the tingling sensations
running through her.

Still joined together, he pulled away from her slightly, letting his eyes
drink in the sight of her as she lay beneath him. He let his hands weave
through her hair, enjoying the feel of the long, silky strands slipping
through his fingers.

“You were amazing,” he whispered huskily as he stared at her.

She smiled, reaching up to trace the sharp contours of his cheekbones. She
pulled him down to claim his lips in another searing kiss before pulling
back and looking deep into his eyes. “Because of you.”

“No one’s ever made me feel the way you do, luv.”

Buffy froze, her entire body tensing at the one word. “Spike?”

“Yeah, who’d you…”

His face seemed to turn to stone as he looked down at her panic-stricken
features. Before either could say another word, a loud knocking resounded
through the small apartment, coming from the front door.

“Buffy, it’s me.”

Buffy felt the air rush out of her body at the sound of William’s voice.




A/N I'm really curious to know, was I able to trick you?

Chapter 8


Spike was off the bed in an instant. He really couldn’t have cared less
about his brother knocking on the door- he just couldn’t stand to be in
close proximity to Buffy anymore. The most tender, incredible moment of his
life wasn’t even real. At least not to her. She had assumed that he was
William, and he felt sick at the thought of her naked body underneath his
brother.

His brain knew that it wasn’t William that had been with her, but it might
as well have been, as far as he was concerned. She had wanted William, not
him. When she had looked at him with such passion in her eyes, she wasn’t
looking at him. Spike angrily pulled his pants on as Buffy jumped off the
bed, clutching the sheet to her body in a modest attempt to hide her nude
body, even though he’d already seen it, seconds ago.

“Spike?” she whispered softly as she reached out and touched his arm. She
shrank back as he angrily swatted her hand away before pulling on his
shirt.

“Don’t,” he growled as he bent over and quickly pulled his shoes on before
heading to the door of the bedroom.

Buffy flew past him before he could make it down the short hallway. “Spike,
please don’t leave.”

“Why?” he asked angrily as he turned to look at her. “Don’t want your
boyfriend to find out that you just shagged his brother?”

“That’s part of it,” she whispered. “And the other reason is I don’t want
you to leave until we talk about this.”

Spike stared at her, watching as her eyes turned to the door as the knocking
sound stopped and was replaced by the jingling of keys. Buffy panicked as
she remembered that she had given Will a key to her place when she had
locked herself out one day.

“Please,” she said softly, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Spike clenched his jaw as he looked into eyes that he was unable to resist, hearing the key in the
lock. Without saying a word, he turned and walked back in the bedroom,
slamming the door as he went.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief before rushing to the bathroom to grab her
robe. Running her fingers through her disheveled hair, Buffy ran for the
door and reached it just as it was thrown open to reveal William.

“You okay?” he asked as he looked at her.

“I’m fine,” she said in a strangled voice. “I was just…asleep. Took me a
minute to wake up.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled softly.

“It’s okay,” Buffy replied, trying her best to smile at him.

“No, not just for waking you up. I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

“Oh…yeah…earlier. Listen, don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean what I said
either, it’s just been a strange week.”

“Yeah,” William said, reaching out and pulling her to him. Buffy tensed as
his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her breath as his lips came down
to meet hers. She felt like crying for the unfairness of what was happening
to her. She realized now that she should have known it was Spike from the
moment he kissed her earlier. Despite the fact that he was being much more
tender than their first experience together, the fire that erupted in her
when their lips met should have been the clue.

Now, as William was trying to deepen the kiss, Buffy felt her hands begin to
push against his chest, putting some distance between them as their lips
broke apart.

“Can I stay?” he asked as he played with the sash on her robe.

Buffy unconsciously tightened the robe over her nude form. “I don’t think
that’s such a good idea, Will. I-I think I’m coming down with something.”

He gently felt her forehead and cheeks. “You do feel a little warm.” Buffy
blushed at the statement, biting her lip as she looked at the floor.
“Okay,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Buffy asked in confusion.

“School,” he commented with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy nodded in understanding, following him to the door. “Right…school…how
could I forget?”

“Sleep well, Buffy,” he said, pulling her closer once again and leaving
another kiss on her lips. Buffy moaned against him, trying to push him
away, but he took it as a sign to deepen the kiss. After a moment, Buffy
broke away, trying to give him a smile as he walked out the door. Once the
door was closed, Buffy leaned her head against it, exhaling sharply.

“Well, wasn’t that sweet.”

Buffy spun around at the condescending voice from the hallway. “Spike,
that-“

“Forget it, Summers,” he said in a low tone as he walked toward her. “It
was fun.”

Buffy felt a flash of dread as he reached for the doorknob. “Don’t!”

Spike paused for a brief second before pulling the door open. Buffy found
herself thrown off balance as it swung wide. Steadying herself, she spun
around and slammed it shut before he could go through it. Throwing the
deadbolt, Buffy positioned herself between him and the doorknob.

“Please don’t leave,” she whispered.

Spike avoided her eyes as he stared at a spot above her head. “There’s no
reason to stay.”

“What about me?” she asked quietly, causing his eyes to meet hers.

Closing off his emotions, Spike gritted his teeth, trying to ward off the tears that threatened to spill over as he thought about what he knew he could never have. “What about you?! You thought I was your little boy-toy. You thought you were fucking him!” he yelled, trying to mask his hurt with anger.

Buffy felt her chin begin to quiver. “I did,” she admitted quietly.

Spike felt his anger boil over as he slammed his hands against the door on
each side of her head. Buffy jumped, suddenly feeling frightened, as Spike
effectively closed in on her.

“Spike, you’re scaring me,” she whispered, looking up into his eyes.

She saw a brief flash of guilt cross his features before the cold mask was
put back in place. “This is me,” he said in a gravelly voice that held more conviction than he felt.

“No, it’s not,” Buffy replied more forcefully. “It’s not you,” she said as
she reached up to gently caress his cheek, breaking through his resolve, to get to the scared boy underneath the tough guy façade..

Spike bit his lip, trying to restrain his emotions at her affectionate
gesture. Closing his eyes for a second, Spike took her hand away from his
face and slowly pulled her away from the door.

“You thought I was him, Buffy,” he said with his back to her. “I should have known that, but I didn’t. I thought,” he paused, reigning in his feelings. “I thought you wanted me. But you thought I was him.”

“I did…but what if I’m glad it was you?”

Spike whirled around to face her, trying to see if she was telling the
truth. “What do you mean?”

“You were right,” Buffy said softly, taking a step closer to him. “I
thought I was fucking him.”

Spike frowned, surprised that she had used the term he had thrown in her
face.

“But I was making love to you.”

Spike’s mouth dropped open at the admission. He soon found himself leaning
against the door for balance. “What are you trying to say, Buffy?” he asked
quietly.

“I’m not proud of myself,” she said quietly. “The only reason I did that
tonight was because I felt guilty for wanting to be with you. I felt I
owed it to him. So, yeah…when I thought you were him, it was just sex. But
knowing it was you…it’s special.”

Spike felt short of breath as he took a step closer to her. “Do you want to
be with me?” he asked quietly.

He watched as tears began streaming down her cheeks. “More than
anything,” she admitted. “But it’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” he asked, gently raising his hands to each side of her face, pushing her hair away from her features as he stared at her with longing.
“I’m still with William, Spike.”

He clenched his jaw, feeling Buffy tense as she waited for whatever angry
words he was about to throw her way.

“You’re right,” he said softly, controlling his temper.

“What?”

“You’re right, luv. I may not me happy with the situation, but he is my
brother. I never wanted to hurt him. I should have gone about this differently, but then you started kissing me and…”

Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “So you’re okay with this?”

“No, I want you to break up with him, Buffy. If you want to be with me, you’ve got to tell him the truth.”
“Spike, I can’t tell him about this, he’ll be too hurt!”
“I don’t want him hurt, luv,” Spike said gently. “But I think he deserves to know that we want to be together. I’m not asking you to tell him about what happened tonight, but I don’t think we should lie to him.”

“Spike, I can’t just break up with him. He wants-“

She watched as he turned and headed out the door.

“Spike!”

Turning around, he looked at her as he backed away. “Let me know when you
actually realize what YOU want, Buffy. There’ll probably be a bloody
parade!”

Buffy felt fresh tears spring to her eyes as she watched him walk away. The pain was evident in his eyes. How could she get him to understand that she would break up with Will? She had to, she couldn’t stay with him anymore. She wouldn’t be able to look at him and not feel guilt course through her for what occurred tonight. But, the fact remained that Will loved her and she couldn’t just call him and tell him it was over. She needed time to work through it and break it to him gently. But, would Spike still want her?

A/N Okay, two LONG notes for this chapter, but it’s easier than responding to each individual review. For those who are curious and have reviewed and e-mailed wondering about it, this is the how I based the characters of William and Spike: ultimately, William was based on the vampire Spike from the flashbacks in “Destiny” or “Lies My Parents Told Me” when he had an edge, but he still had that spark of sincerity. Spike, on the other hand, was designed to be season seven Spike, with a little bit of a season six attitude and temper. I loved the Spuffy relationship from season seven, so therefore, you have this story. And while I have no problem with William/Buffy stories, I have to choose one for her and the word Spuffy was created for a reason Ironically, I realized I probably should have switched the characters names since they ultimately turned into each other through the course of the show, but there are so many people who see Spike/Buffy that I knew the majority would be for them :-) If anyone disagrees with me, I’m sorry. Thanks to everyone supporting this story and giving me the benefit of the doubt. I did promise that I wouldn’t hurt William, so keep that in mind and as a response to teasha: we will be getting more into Spike’s back-story in a few chapters (I hope) to give him more human qualities. I understand Spike and Buffy aren’t the most likeable right now, but I have to sift through the William storyline first and I’ve (hopefully) started to resolve that in this chapter.

Chapter 9


A week later, Buffy sat in her favorite jeans and tank top, curled up with
Mr. Gordo, and her friends surrounding her.

She had called in sick for the last few days of school, ignoring most of
William’s calls, though they were strangely few and far between, telling him she didn’t feel well (which wasn’t a lie). Buffy hadn’t left her apartment for a week, and her friends had come over to rescue her.

“So, what’s going on, Buffy?” Tara asked gently.

Buffy took a deep breath. “I did something I’m not proud of.”

“What was it?” Willow asked.

“I had sex with Spike.” The words were out of her mouth before she knew she
said them. She looked around the room, gauging her friends' reactions.
Willow was shocked, Tara was trying to remain impassive, and Faith was
trying to suppress a smirk.

“So, what’s the problem then, B?”

Buffy looked at Faith in shock. “You’re actually asking me that?”

“I’m guessing it was a case of mistaken identity?” Faith asked.

“More or less.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, I think I subconsciously knew it was him.”

“Okay, that may add to the problem,” Tara said. “Does William know?”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “If he does, I didn’t tell him.”

“So, Spike just pretended to be William to get you to sleep with him?”
Willow asked in confusion.

“Not exactly. I had a fight with both of them on the same night. When
Spike showed up, all he said was that he was sorry, and I assumed it was
Will.”

“Are you going to tell William?” Tara asked.

“I don’t know what to do,” Buffy said miserably. “He’s been so stressed because we kissed. If he finds out about this…I don’t want to hurt him.”

“On to more important topics,” Faith said with a smile, trying to lighten
the mood. “Was he good?”

“FAITH!!!” All three yelled at once.

“What?” she asked with an innocent look before pointing to Willow and Tara.
“I don’t care if you two are lesbians, you know you were thinking the same
thing.”

This actually brought a smile to Buffy’s face. “Thank you,” she said to her
friend. “I haven’t smiled in a week.”

“That’s what I’m here for, B. But you never did answer my question.”

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Oooh, that good, huh?” Faith asked with a wicked grin.

Buffy smiled again before looking down at the cup of tea in her hand that
Tara had made for her. “I’ve been ignoring both of them. Spike’s so mad at
me right now, and I think Will suspects something. He hasn’t even tried to
call the past few days.”

“So, what happens if Will breaks up with you?” Willow asked.

Buffy shrugged. “He’s a great guy, but he obviously deserves better than
me.”

“Buffy, don’t say that,” Tara said.

“Why not? It’s true, and we all know it.”

“It’s not that he deserves someone better than you, it’s that he deserves
someone different than you,” Faith said.

“What’s the difference?”

“You two are too similar,” Faith continued. “That’s why you and Spike fit
better. You balance each other out.”

“Except Spike will probably never speak to me again.”

“Buffy, do you really believe that?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know,” Buffy said with a pained look. “He was so mad at me, you
guys. I’m sure he thinks I just led him on, but I want him so much.”

The four friends sat in silence for several moments before Faith jumped to
her feet.

“Alright. Get dressed, girlfriend, we’re going out.”

“Faith, I really don’t-“

“She’s right, Buff,” said Willow. “You’ve been in hiding a week. I think
we need to hit the Bronze.”

“I can’t,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “Spike might be there.”

“Probably,” Faith said in agreement. “But you know the old saying- one step
forward, two steps back…or is it two steps forward, one step back?” Faith
tilted her head thoughtfully. “Oh well, the point is, it’s time to get out
and have some fun.”

* * * * *

An hour later, Faith and Tara were practically dragging Buffy into the
Bronze while Willow stood behind her in case she tried to get away.

Her friends had somehow talked her into wearing a black mini-skirt with a
backless black tank top, held together by two strings in the back. Willow
had pulled out some high-heeled sandals from the back of her closet, and all
had joined in doing her hair and make-up. She was wearing more eye make-up
than she was used to, but she still looked pretty good. Her hair fell in
soft ringlets down her back, complimenting her features.

Buffy took a deep breath before walking through the door. She glanced
around, relieved that she didn’t see any bleached heads in the area, and
followed her friends through the club.

Faith made a dash for Xander when she saw him sitting at the bar, causing
the other three to laugh at her behavior. Faith was the last person that
anyone would suspect of falling head-over-heels for a guy, but Buffy was
happy for her. She deserved someone who would treat her with respect, and
Xander seemed to be the guy for the job.

Willow, Tara, and Buffy went to find an available table. The club was a
little busier now that school was out for the summer, but it wasn’t too hard
finding a place to sit. After about five minutes and a shot of tequila,
Buffy was feeling much better. She hadn’t seen Spike anywhere, which she
thought was a little strange, but she ignored it.

Buffy laughed with her friends as they dragged her out to the dance floor.
Even Tara, who was normally more reserved, danced with them. Buffy was just
beginning to have fun when she spotted bleached hair through the crowd.
Buffy frowned, trying to figure out if it was William or Spike from this
far away. She didn’t see a leather duster, and he was sitting with some
people she didn’t know.

Buffy pulled Willow over to her and pointed to the table. Willow
concentrated on the table before looking at Buffy. “I think it’s William.
You should go talk to him.”

Buffy nodded as she left the dance floor. She could feel the butterflies in
her stomach as she moved toward him, still not sure which brother she was
about to approach. As she got closer, she noticed the darker roots that
were beginning to grow out with his hair. It wasn’t very noticeable yet,
but Buffy could see it. She also noticed the loose curls and began to feel
a little better. Surely this was William. Maybe he was finally realizing
it was okay to be himself.

As she got to the table, Buffy nervously tapped him on the shoulder.

“Buffy,” he said in shock as he turned around. “I thought you were sick.”

‘Definitely William.’

“I’m feeling better. My friends decided to get me out of the house.”

William nodded before turning to face the table. “I’m sorry, everybody, this
is Buffy Summers. Buffy, this is Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, Anya Jenkins, Fred
Burkle, Allen Doyle, and Cordelia Chase.”

Buffy smiled and said hello to everyone before turning back to William.
“Can I talk to you?”

“Uh, sure, let’s go outside. Excuse us,” Will said to his friends.

Walking out the door, Buffy nervously wrung her hands together as she turned
to face him. “So…your friends seem nice,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, they’re great.”

“I’ve never seen them before. How’d you meet?”

“Uh, we actually met here…last week.”

“Oh,” Buffy said with a nod. “I see. So…I haven’t heard from you lately.”

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I just thought if you needed me, you’d call.”

Buffy frowned slightly. This was clearly William, but he seemed a little
more nonchalant than usual. “William, what’s going on with us?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…okay, the easiest thing is to just ask, so…do you still love me?”

“Buffy, of course I do. I always will, you know that.”

“But are you in love with me?”

William seemed to pause before answering. “What’s the difference?”

“Well,” Buffy began as she started pacing slightly. “I know you love me,
but do you want to be with me?”

“Buffy…”

“Will, it’s okay if you don’t.”

“It’s not that I don’t…it’s just we haven’t seen each other much this week,
and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking-“

“Will,” Buffy interrupted, taking a deep breath. “I’m not in love with you.”
Buffy waited for a reaction. Anything. She’d never told him she was in
love with him to begin with, but she’d also never said it flat out either.
Buffy watched his face for a moment and noticed the lack of emotion. She
stared at him a little longer before speaking. “You don’t care?” The
question wasn’t accusing or angry- it was almost a comment.

“Buffy…ever since Spike came into town, things have been different. Or at
least, things were brought to my attention. I’ve spent the last week and a
half wondering how to fix this relationship. Then I realized something.”

“What’s that?”

“We shouldn’t have to fix a five-month relationship.”

Buffy looked down at the ground before meeting his eyes with a smile.
“You’re right.”

“I wanted you for so long, Buffy, and I’m honored that you gave me a
chance, but I just don’t think we belong together.”

Buffy hugged him with tears in her eyes. “I’m the one who should be
honored,” she replied in a choked voice. “Can we still be friends?” she
asked, pulling away to look him in the eyes. “I really mean that. I’m not
just saying it.”

“I’d like that, Buffy,” he said.

“I want you to be happy, Will,” Buffy said genuinely, giving him another
hug.

“Well, isn’t this cozy.”

Both turned to face Spike as he walked toward them. Buffy cringed at the
scent of alcohol that wafted around him. He wasn’t acting drunk, but he clearly was.
“Spike, we were just talking,” Buffy spoke up, feeling the need to show how
innocent the situation was.

“And what would you be talking about, luv?” he asked in a condescending
tone.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” William spoke up. “But we’ve decided
to break up.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, looking back and forth between them before settling his gaze on Buffy. “So, you told
him we slept together, then?”


A/N “She said she wouldn’t hurt him, she said she wouldn’t hurt him” just keep repeating that. I know, it seems pretty harsh the way he found out, but Spike’s drunk and if you’ve ever been drunk you know you don’t always say the smartest things :-) Besides, you didn’t really think I’d have Spike and Buffy sleep together and William would never find out, did you? *Spoiler* As far as William is concerned, I’ve still got a twist or two for him. I’ve been telling everyone not to worry, that I wouldn’t purposely make him out to be a whiny or bad guy and as a response to Callie – there is a reason that I haven’t been telling anything from William’s point of view (good observation, by the way). We will get more into his character, hopefully by chapter eleven. Ultimately, he won’t go off and cry in a corner, but he isn’t like Spike either. So how will he react? I’ll have the next update ready soon.

Chapter 10


Time seemed to stand still for Buffy as she stared at Spike in disbelief.
She slowly turned to face William, and the look on his face scared her more
than if he’d been yelling. It was blank. No expression seemed to come
across him as he stared at his brother. Slowly, he turned to face Buffy.
“You slept with him?” he asked quietly.

Buffy gulped as her eyes widened. “William, it’s not like it sounds. I-I
thought he was you!”

“Yes, luv, but you wished he was me,” Spike said with a smile and a bit of a slur to his words, thoroughly
enjoying the display in front of him as he struggled not to sway back and forth.

Buffy watched as William turned and started to head back to the door.
Following him, Buffy grabbed his arm, turning him to face her. “I’m sorry,”
she said with genuine sorrow. “I never wanted to hurt you, and I hate myself
for doing it.”

William stared down at her for a long moment before gently tucking a lock
of hair behind her ear. The tenderness seemed to shock Buffy even more.
“Buffy…I’m not thrilled about it,” he whispered. “But don’t worry. We’ll
be fine.”

Buffy stood in astonishment as he turned and walked back into the club. She wished he would have just yelled at her. It would have been a lot easier to take than his acceptance. Her
eyes slowly trailed downward, filling with tears, knowing that he was hurting
more than he was letting on because of something she did.

“He had to find out eventually, pet.”

Buffy turned and stared at Spike for a minute, not saying anything. Spike
felt a jolt of pain as he looked into her shimmering eyes. He was waiting
for the explosion, knowing it wouldn’t be long. To his own amazement, Buffy
turned and began walking down the alley.

“Buffy?”

When she didn’t turn around, Spike’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Buffy!”

* * * * *

Buffy made it home faster than she anticipated. She was relieved that Spike
hadn’t followed her out of the alley. She knew he would probably get a well
deserved kick if he had.

Buffy shut the door behind her, leaning back against it and letting the
tears finally fall. She couldn’t imagine what Will must be going through
right now. And knowing that she was the cause of it only made her feel
worse.

“You should have just told him,” Buffy whispered to herself. “You know
these things never stay quiet- it would have been better coming from you,
but you were too much of a coward to even face him.”

Buffy jumped at the loud knock on the door. Trying to dry her eyes, she
turned around. “Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

“Go away, Spike,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Not until you talk to me, Summers.”

Buffy sighed, knowing that he wasn’t lying. She slowly turned around and
opened the door.

Spike walked in, shutting the door behind him. “Buffy, I’m-“

“Don’t!” Buffy said, holding up a hand. “Don’t even bother apologizing
because we both know it would be a lie.”

“Buffy-“

“You just had to do it, didn’t you, Spike! It wasn’t enough to know that we
broke up, oh no. You had to rub it in that I slept with you.”

“Give it a rest, Miss High and Mighty! If you had told him the truth that
night, none of this would have ever happened!”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m not the only guilty party here, you knew who I was when we were together and you slept with me anyway. You think I won’t be kicking myself for not telling him? For hurting him so much, not by what I said, but because he knows that I screwed his brother?”

“Made love,” Spike said through gritted teeth before he looked at her. “We
made love that night, and you know it, so don’t make it sound so demeaning
when we both know it wasn’t.”

Buffy took a deep breath, looking down at the floor, knowing that he was
right. She tried to steady her nerves as she avoided his eyes. “Why’d you
do it, Spike?” she asked quietly.

Spike seemed to think about the question for a moment before answering. “I
wanted…bloody hell, I just wanted him to know that I was just as good as him
for a change.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his, tears threatening to spill over. “So you
just used me?”

“No,” Spike said, shaking his head anxiously.

“You did,” Buffy said in a choked voice. “You never wanted me.”

“Buffy, I always want you. I would never lie about that…but you don’t know
what it’s like, pet. To always be looked down on. To be the disappointment
of the family. Never able to live up to the sparkling expectations that my
big brother sets for me.”

“So…I was just some prize in this morbid little game of yours? Just a
trophy in this macho pissing contest?”

““I was angry for finding a woman that I wanted to be with, only to realize that Will had
gotten something else before me. You were never a prize, luv. I just want to be with you.”

“You’re just like the rest of them,” Buffy said quietly, never taking her eyes off the floor. “Get out.”

“Buffy-“

“There’s nothing else for you to say, Spike,” she said, raising her eyes to
his. Spike felt his heart ache at anguish that seemed to flow from her.
“You’ve made it pretty clear. I should have listened to my mind and not my
heart. I may have been alone, but it would have been better
than what I’m going through right now. So please, get out of my home.”

“Don’t you see what I’m trying to tell you?” he asked angrily.

“I see enough. You wanted to beat your brother, so you slept with his
girlfriend. It’s pretty cut and dry to me. Congratulations, you got what you wanted.”

“No,” Spike growled, grabbing her by the shoulders and resisting the urge to
shake her. “I wanted you. I wanted you so much that it killed me whenever
I thought of you sleeping with him. I wanted to come out here and beat the
hell out of him that night that he kissed you good-bye. And you know what?
I did want to rub it in his face that night, but I knew it would hurt you
too much, luv.” Spike’s voice softened to a whisper as he finished,
loosening his hold on her shoulders.

“So you decided to wait and hurt me tonight instead. How very thoughtful
of you,” she replied sarcastically.

“I just want to be with you, Buffy,” Spike whispered.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you purposely hurt me.
Now, please leave,” Buffy whispered quietly.

Spike sighed and turned toward the door. “I really am sorry, Buffy. I
never should have told him that way, and I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Buffy watched as he walked out the door.
“Spike.” She stood in the doorway as he turned around. “You don’t have to be in competition with your brother
to prove you’re a good man. In spite of what happened tonight, I’ve known you’re a good person since I met you. And as much as you don’t deserve to know this…I never slept with William.”

Spike stared after her in stunned silence as Buffy shut the door with a soft
click.

A/N I know, not exactly the Spike and William confrontation you were all hoping for – that’s the next chapter :-)

Chapter 11


Spike walked toward his brother’s house later that night with a heavy
heart. He would be moving out tomorrow, and it wasn’t soon enough. Xander
had given him a job at his construction company, and Spike would be renting
an apartment closer to Buffy. At the time, that had seemed like a good
plan. Be close enough to see her whenever he wanted, build a friendship or possibly more. Unfortunately, like most of his plans, this one had backfired on him.

Spike was so lost in thought as he stepped through the door that he didn’t
even see the fist that landed squarely on his nose.

“Bloody hell!” Spike yelled as he was propelled backwards. He managed to
remain standing as his hand went up to the blood that was now pouring from
it. Looking ahead of him, he saw a very angry William. “Bugger,” he
muttered as Will pulled back and landed another solid hit to his jaw.

Spike went into action as William pulled back again, landing a hit to his
stomach before Spike quickly stepped out of range. “Alright, you got your licks
in,” Spike said, inspecting his nose again, keeping the distance between them.

“You pretended to be me, didn’t you?” William asked angrily, circling his brother.

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. You know she’s wanted me from the moment she
laid eyes on me. If you don’t believe it, why don’t you check out a mirror
and take a look at your makeover? You obviously realized it, since you
turned into my mirror image. It was just a case of mistaken identity…that’s
all.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” William growled.

“It means I was under the impression that she knew it was me. I can give
you a detailed description, if you don’t believe me.”

“No,” Will said through clenched teeth.

“Besides, you two broken up, now.”

“Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I don’t still love her.”

“Oh, that’s bollocks, and you know it. You’re just angry because I got her,
and you were left high and dry.”

“Yeah? Was it all part of the plan to get her to hate you for telling me
about it?”
“Oh, give it a rest, Willie. She might hate me right now, but she wouldn’t be crazy about you either.” At Will’s look, he continued. “Yeah, you forget, big brother, I know you almost as well as you know yourself.”
“Shut up, Spike.”

Spike sighed. “Look…for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have
told you like that, alright?”

“You know what, that doesn’t matter. The point is, you slept with my
girlfriend! You knew she was going out with me, and you knew that I loved
her!”

“Yeah, and I also knew she didn’t love you! Face it, Will, for once in your life, I was able to get something that you wanted before you, and it’s killing you. I have no doubt that you loved her, mate, and I do feel bad for sleeping with her when I knew she was with you, but I wouldn’t take it back. I care about her, too,” he said softly. “I know you’re not in love with her, Will, no matter how much you love her, I know you don’t want to spend your life with her. If you did I wouldn’t have seen you chattin’ up that Anya bird every night that I’ve been to the Bronze in the past two weeks. How long has that been going on?”

“There’s nothing going on, Spike. She’s a friend, that’s all.”

“Yeah? Did you tell Buffy how friendly you got the other night?”

“She just kissed me goodnight, Spike. She’s an affectionate woman, that’s
how she was saying good-bye.”
“Yeah, it looked real affectionate, what with her tongue in your mouth and all.”
Will stayed quiet as he looked down at the floor.

“So you did tell Buffy?”

“No,” William admitted quietly. “I couldn’t get mad at her for sleeping with you, when I did something with more conscious thought than she did.”

“So…you were feeling guilty.”

“Maybe,” William admitted quietly.
“Do you want to be with Buffy?” Spike asked, holding his breath as he waited for an answer.
“I did. Things have just been brought to the surface…I never wanted to cheat on her.”
“And she never wanted to cheat on you. You know that right? This is all my fault, I’m taking full blame, so don’t get mad at Buffy for something I did.”
“I’m not mad at her. I don’t even think I’m that mad at you, except when I thought you purposely pretended to be me. You know…when I heard that you two were together…it was almost like hearing two of my friends slept together. There was nothing…no jealousy, no anger…okay, maybe a little bit of anger.”
“Look, Will, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Spike said softly. “There was
just something about her that seemed to draw me in, and I couldn’t get her
out of my mind.”

“She has a tendency to do that,” William agreed with a slight smile.

“I never intentionally set out to hurt you…that’s not why I came to town. Yeah, I did want to show you up and I shouldn’t have blurted out the truth like that, but you are my brother. Even if we don’t get along most of the time. And I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me again, can’t say I’d blame you, but I didn’t do it to hurt you. You do believe me, don’t you?” Spike asked worriedly.

William hesitated for a moment before nodding.

Spike went to sit down on the couch with his brother following behind him to
sit in the chair. “I’ve really screwed up, mate,” Spike said quietly.

“I’ll say.”

“Just when you think my foot can’t get any more wedged in my mouth, there
goes the other one in there, too.”

William smiled slightly, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward.
“Were you at her place?”

Spike nodded. “Tried talking to her. It didn’t go well.”
“Do you love her?” William asked quietly.

“I could,” Spike admitted with a slight nod. “I really could.”

“That’s a big step for you,” William said, looking into his brother’s eyes.

“Don’t I know it.”

* * * * *

Buffy heard a knock on the door the next morning and sighed as she went to
answer it. Opening the door, she saw William standing there in his khakis
and blue button-down shirt. “Can we talk?” he asked quietly.

Buffy nodded as she opened the door a little wider, allowing him in. Both
walked over to the couch and sat down. William looked over and saw Buffy
nervously wringing her hands together and avoiding his eyes.

“I’m not mad,” he said softly, causing Buffy to raise her eyes to his.
“Don’t get me wrong- I’m not thrilled, either, but I’m not mad.”

“How can you not be? I slept with your brother!”

“Yeah,” William said with a nod. “And I kissed another woman that I’ve practically been dating for the last week.”

Buffy froze at the admission. That was the last thing she expected to hear,
but she found her curiosity peaked as she looked at him. “That’s not
exactly the same thing, I think I’m probably beating you in the guilt department.”

“Maybe,” William said, with a soft smile. “But we both kept things from each
other because we were guilty.”

“I’m so sorry,” Buffy whispered, looking down at her hands.

“Buffy, did you want to hurt me?”

Her eyes snapped up to his as she vigorously shook her head. “No! I never
wanted that. I just…it just happened and…”

William seemed to hesitate before asking the next question. “You were going
to sleep with me that night?”

Buffy glanced down as she felt tears fill her eyes. “I was,” she said
quietly. “I know it’s horrible, and you probably think I was just going to
use you, but I swear, I just wanted to make it better between us.” She
let out a mirthless laugh as she shook her head. “Didn’t really work out that
way, did it?”

William smiled. “Things happen for a reason, Buffy. You and I just weren’t
cut out for the long haul. Do you love him?” he asked, repeating the same
question he’d asked his brother the night before.

“I don’t know,” Buffy said quietly as she dropped her head into her hands.
“I wish this all wasn’t so complicated. I wish that I could just forget
about him or that you and I could have been in love with each other.” Both
stayed quiet for a minute before Buffy raised her head to look at him.
“I’m not going to be with him, Will. I owe you that much. I don’t want to
hurt you anymore. I never wanted to hurt you.”

William calmly took her hand in his as he looked into her eyes. The eyes
of the woman he loved, even if Spike was right, it wasn’t in a romantic context. Taking a
deep breath, he spoke, “I think you should give him a chance, Buffy.”

“What?” she asked, looking at him incredulously.

“I want you to be happy.”

“William, I’m not going to be happy knowing that I made you miserable by
something that I did.”

“Buffy…you two have already shared something that we never shared. As
horrible as it may sound, I’m moving on. I have a date for this weekend.”
Buffy looked into his eyes before uncontrollable laughter erupted from
her. William smiled as well. “I didn’t think my having a date would be that
funny.”

“It’s not,” Buffy said, trying to control her laughter as she shook her
head. “It’s just…what the hell are we doing, Will? We had a good
relationship just a few short weeks ago, and now we’re sitting here like
we’re best friends, talking about their potential new boyfriend or
girlfriend. It’s just ridiculous!” she said as another bout of laughter
came over her.

William joined in, shaking his head. “We are definitely a living soap
opera, aren’t we?”

Buffy tried to control her laughter as she nodded. “We really are.”

William stood to leave as Buffy stood, as well. He stared at her for a
moment before speaking. “I really think you two would be good for each
other, Buffy,” he said seriously.
“You are the last person I would have expected to say that to me.”
“Hey, I’m not crazy about the idea, but I know Spike. He’s a good man, even if he tries to hide it.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said softly before stepping forward and hugging him. “I
really do love you, you know that, right?” Pulling away from him, she
smiled. “Just not…you know…that way.”

William chuckled. “I know. I feel the same way.”

“Thank you, Will.”

“For what?”

“For being my friend.”

* * * * *
Buffy was dressed in her black jogging pants and tank top, doing her warm-up
stretches the next day. She was about to go out for a jog when she heard a
knock on the door. Jumping up, she quickly pulled her hair into a sleek
ponytail as she went to answer it and gasped at what she saw.

“Buffy Summers?”

“That’s me.”

“Sign here.”

Buffy signed where indicated and was handed a huge floral arrangement of red
roses and daisies. The display was so big, Buffy had to walk sideways to
see where she was going.

Setting them down on the end table, Buffy pulled the card from its holder
and looked at it. She had to smile at what she saw. Written undeniably
in Spike’s handwriting was a simple message:

‘Forgive me, luv’

Underneath the message was a frowny face. Buffy sighed, putting the card
back in the holder, as she turned to go out for her run. Turning around, her
hand went to her heart as she realized she left the door open. However, it
wasn’t the door that startled her, it was the man standing there.

Buffy stared at Spike as he stood looking rather uncomfortable.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked softly.

“I owed you an apology…a big one.”

Buffy crossed her arms across her chest as she looked at him. “Have you
talked to William?”

Spike gestured toward his swollen face with half a smile. “Last night.”

“It went that well, huh?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Better than expected.”

“Meaning?”

“It was his idea to send you the flowers.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she stared at him. Spike took several steps
forward, biting his lip and looking down at the floor. “I’m not asking for
a lot, Buffy. I know I was a pillock last night, and I am sorry...but I’ve
talked to Will, and he seems okay with it. I want us to start over.”

Buffy tilted her head slightly as she studied him. “What do you mean by
‘start over’?”

Spike pulled his hand from behind his back, revealing a beautiful white
rose. “I want to go on a date. A real one. You name the night, and I’ll be
here. I want to show you that I can be the perfect guy, too.”

Buffy smiled slightly as she took the beautiful rose from him. She trailed
her fingertips over the soft, delicate petals, trailing downward until the
pad of her finger touched one of the thorns. She carefully traced over it,
taking consideration not to scratch her finger as she studied it. “You
know…the rose is arguably one of the most beautiful flowers out there.”

Spike watched her as she continued to stare at it, twisting the flower back
and forth to see it from all angles. “And just because it’s beautiful,” she
continued. “Doesn’t mean it’s perfect. In fact, that’s why the thorns are
there. Everything has to be balanced…equal. Do you understand what I’m
saying?” Buffy asked, looking up into Spike’s eyes.

Spike sighed as he looked down. “You’re saying the same goes for twins.
The good has to equal the bad, and I guess that’s me.”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head as she set the rose down to take one of his
hands in both of hers. “I’m saying…you don’t have to be perfect.” Spike
raised his eyes to look into hers. “No one does. Just because you may
think you’re not enough like your brother doesn’t mean you should be like
him. After all, if he’s so perfect, why couldn’t I let myself fall in love
with him?”

Spike studied her as she spoke, tilting his head to the side. “Spike, I
don’t want you to be William…I want you to be yourself. Don’t put on an act
for my benefit because eventually, I’ll get tired of it. Let me get to know
you, okay?”

Spike smiled as he nodded, feeling better about himself than he had in a
long time.

“Now…as for that date, I think Saturday night sounds good,” Buffy said with
a smile.

“I’ll pick you up at six.”

“That’s a little early,” she said with a curious look. “Just what are you
planning?”

“It’s a surprise,” Spike whispered. Slowly, he brought her hand up to his
lips and gently kissed it before turning and walking toward the door. He
turned and smiled before shutting the door. “I’ll see you then, luv.”




A/N I know a lot of people wanted William to end up with Fred (and honestly, if it can’t be Buffy, she is my first choice), but it would have gone against ‘he needs someone different from him.’ And since I absolutely cannot stand Faith with Spike/William, Anya was my next choice. I’m not sure if there will be an update tomorrow, but there will definitely be one Saturday afternoon. Reviews would be much appreciated :-)

Chapter 12


Buffy was nervous getting ready for her date with Spike. Rifling through
her closet, she discarded nearly everything she owned. With a heavy sigh,
Buffy pulled out a pair of jeans. Spike had called her and told her to go
casual, but she wasn’t sure how casual. Deciding that she could always run
back in and change, Buffy pulled on the jeans and began sifting through her
tops.

When she came across a silky, black V-neck shirt with short sleeves that
were each split down the center, Buffy put it on and examined her
reflection. “Not too bad,” she murmured as she grabbed her brush and pulled
it through her straight hair.

Her make-up was minimal since she didn’t know where they were going. Buffy
was quickly slipping on some black boots and silver earrings when she heard
the knock on the door. With a deep breath, Buffy walked through her
apartment and opened the door with a bright smile.

Spike stood there in dark blue jeans and a red button down shirt, his
trademark duster gone for the night. Reaching toward Buffy, his arms
encircled her waist and pulled her closer. He leaned forward slowly,
leaving a feather-light kiss on her forehead as he pulled back to look at
her. “You look beautiful, luv.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Buffy whispered.

“You ready to go?”

Buffy nodded as she grabbed her key and locked the door. “So, where are we
going?”

“It’s a surprise, pet,” Spike said with a smile as he took her hand and led
her to his motorcycle, swinging his leg over the seat.

Buffy took the hand he offered and sat behind him, snuggling deeper into his
back as she wrapped her arms securely around his waist. She loved being
able to be this close to Spike and not have to feel guilty about it.

Spike smiled when her grip tightened on him as he started the bike.
Briefly taking one of her hands, he brought it up to his lips for a kiss
before securing it back around his midsection.

* * * * *

Fifteen minutes later, Spike pulled off on a clearing, parking the bike.

“We have to walk from here, pet.”

“You’re still not going to tell me, are you?”

“We’ve made it this far,” he said with a smile as he took her hand. “Why
ruin it now?”

Buffy stayed silent as Spike led her onto a small path, winding through some
trees. She could hear the ocean off in the distance, but she knew they
weren’t near the beach. After a few minutes, Spike veered off the path and
began walking through the wooded area.

“Spike?”

“Almost there, luv.”

Stepping over some brush, Buffy could see a small clearing with a huge rock
sitting on the other side. Buffy looked at Spike questionably as he pulled
her to the side of the rock, and she gasped as she saw the ocean come into
view. They were standing on an overlook that was surrounded on three sides
by trees. Buffy was amazed at the view as Spike led her further around.
She gasped again when she saw the picnic basket that was sitting on a
blanket.

“You planned all of this?”

“Course I did, luv. I couldn’t do something generic for our first date, now
could I?”

Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest as
she hugged him. “I would have been fine with anything.”

“So you don’t like it?” Spike asked, pulling her away from him to look in
her eyes.

“I love it,” she answered with a smile. “But you didn’t have to go to this
much trouble, Spike.”

Bending down, he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. “I wanted to, luv.”

Buffy smiled as they broke apart, sitting down on the blanket as Spike sat
down across from her. Opening the basket, Buffy pulled out fruits and
vegetables with chicken salad sandwiches that were cut into fourths.

“I’m no gourmet chef, but I thought you’d like some of this.”

“It’s great,” Buffy said with a smile. “No dessert?” she asked with a mock
pout. Spike laughed as he reached into the basket and pulled out a package
of mini Snickers bars. Buffy had to laugh. “Wow, you really did plan for
everything.”

Spike smiled as he pulled out a bottle of wine. He quickly opened it and
poured two glasses for them. When everything was set up, he moved the
basket off the blanket and leaned onto an elbow as he watched Buffy. She
was staring out at the ocean, and Spike couldn’t help admiring her as the
sunlight began to fade. It was still a while before sunset, but the golden
rays set off the highlights in her hair and her bronzed skin.

Buffy turned and saw Spike watching her. “What?” she asked with a smile.

“Just watching you, pet.”

“I’m not that interesting.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he replied with a smile, enjoying the blush
that crept up her face.

* * * * *

An hour later, Buffy and Spike were both leaning on their elbows as they lay
facing each other on the blanket. They had enjoyed pleasant small talk as
they ate, but now that the food was gone, the more serious questions
started.

“Have you ever been in love?” Buffy asked quietly.

“I thought I was.”

“What happened?”

“We were too different.”

“How so?” Buffy asked, picking up a strawberry and eating it.

“Well, for one, she didn’t like the monogamy part of a long-term
relationship. We broke up about a year and a half ago, and I haven’t seen
her since.”

“So, you didn’t love her?”

“I don’t know,” Spike said with a shrug as he took a sip of wine. “I
thought I did, but you know what they say…hindsight is twenty/twenty.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a soft smile as she stared down into her glass.

“Same question, back at you, pet.”

“Once,” she said softly.

“The first guy or the Iowa farm boy?”

Buffy looked up at him. “You remember?”

“Luv, I remember every conversation we’ve ever had.”

Buffy smiled. “It was the first guy. Ever since him, I just haven’t let
myself open up again.”

Spike watched her carefully. “Do you mind telling me what happened?”

Buffy shrugged. “Not much to tell,” she said with a soft smile. “He left
me alone the morning after. Broke my heart…left town a year later. I
found out later that he thought it was for my own good. I didn’t get a say
in it. That’s the story of my life, though…everyone leaves.”

Spike glanced down at the blanket as she spoke. Slowly, he raised his eyes
to hers, reaching out to gently caress her cheek. Buffy watched him as they
sat in silence. It was so comforting to just be with each other. Spike
slowly sat up, pushing the remaining food out of the way as he pulled Buffy
into a sitting position. Without a word, he pulled her onto his lap,
wrapping his arms securely around her waist. He rested his cheek against the
side of her head as they faced the sunset.

Buffy relaxed in his embrace as the last rays of sun began disappearing.
Slowly, she turned to face Spike and breathed a sigh of relief when his lips
met hers. His arms tightened around her as they deepened the kiss. Buffy
turned more fully toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

After a minute, she found herself laying on the blanket with Spike on top of
her as they continued the kiss. Buffy felt her heart racing as his hands
trailed softly over her arms and stomach. Her hands began to work the
buttons on his shirt before he pulled away from her.

“Are you sure about this, Buffy?” he asked as he looked into her eyes.
“This is me, this time,” he said with a smirk playing on his lips.

Buffy smiled but didn’t answer as she pushed him off of her. Spike looked
at her in confusion as she stood, only to feel himself become painfully hard
as she pulled her shirt over her head and shimmied out of her jeans, leaving
her in a lace bra and thong as she straddled him.

Buffy quickly unbuttoned his shirt, trailing her fingertips over the exposed
muscles of his chest. She worked her way downward until she began working
on his belt.
“We can stop if you’re not ready to do this, luv.”
Buffy gave him a soft kiss before responding, “I want to be with you, Spike.”

Spike clenched his jaw as he felt her hand encircle his hard length, gently
pumping up and down as she leaned down, pressing her body to his, her
lips meeting his in a burning kiss. Spike began to grow short of breath as he
reached around, unclasping Buffy’s bra, letting it fall to the ground as he
cupped her breasts, gently massaging them as Buffy began moving on top of
him. She moaned into his mouth as she broke away from Spike, hurriedly
pulling his jeans further down his legs and slipping off her thong.

Spike watched, entranced, as she straddled him again. His mouth was suddenly very dry as her naked form was emphasized by the last rays of the sun. Both let out low moans as her body sunk down on his. Spike felt his eyes roll back as he was enveloped in her tight passage. Buffy paused, panting as she adjusted to him, before slowly moving her hips in a circle, gradually moving
faster as her fingernails scraped against his chest.

After a few minutes, Spike’s hands went to her hips, moving her up and down
as he thrust into her. He felt himself nearing his climax as Buffy gasped,
arching her back as they grinded together. Trying to hold off as long as
possible, Spike sat up, wrapping his arms around her body, letting his hands
trail over the smooth, exposed skin of her back as he kissed along her
shoulder and collarbone.

Buffy felt the tightening in her stomach at the new position. Moving up and
down more rapidly, she let out a scream of pleasure as her orgasm seemed to
crash into her. Spike smiled against her skin as he pressed his forehead
into the crook of her neck, thrusting up into her as he clutched at her
body.

Buffy heard the rumbling in his throat as he followed her over the edge,
losing himself in her body.

As they both trembled slightly, Spike rolled them over, slipping from
Buffy’s warmth and smiling down at her as he met her lips in a soft kiss.
He quickly pulled up his jeans to get more comfortable before laying down
and cuddling her closer to him. The moonlight was now shining down on them
as Spike pulled the edge of the blanket over them, covering her against the
slight chill in the air as his hands lazily trailed over her body.

“Thank you,” she whispered sleepily.

“For what, baby?”

“For making me happy.”

“Then I suppose I should be thanking you, too,” he said with a smile as he
pulled Buffy closer, kissing the top of her head.

A/N Okay, don’t hate me! I didn’t really want to put in a love scene right here, but I couldn’t help but write it. The story takes an angsty turn from here, so I wanted to end on a happy note :-) In all honesty, I realize she probably wouldn’t have slept with him so soon (based on her relationship with Will), but I didn’t want to drag on their dating for a few more chapters. Having said that, just wanted to ask everyone to look at my AMAZING new website that Steph designed for me! She did a better job than I ever could have hoped for and I love it! Go take a look at the layout (may take a moment to load, because there’s a lot of pictures) and leave me or Steph a message telling us what you think :-) Take a look at the cover art for a lot of the stories, too!

www.unseenshadows.4t.com/ashlee

Chapter 13


Buffy was practically floating on cloud nine for the next week. She and
Spike had gone out every night, and Buffy couldn’t remember ever feeling this
happy. As she was pulling her hair up in a clip, she head a knock on her
front door.

“Just a second,” she called as she adjusted her black sleeveless shirt.
Opening the door, her smile soon faded.

‘It’s always calmest before the storm,’ that little voice said, taunting
her.

“Hello, Buffy.”

“Riley, what are you doing here?”

“I was in town. Thought I’d drop by.”

“Oh, um…that’s…that’s nice.”

“I know you’re surprised to see me.”

“Surprised? Yeah, that could be one way to describe it.”

“I was wondering if I could take you out to lunch.”

“Riley, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“I don’t mean as a date, Buffy. I’m married now. I just wanted to catch up
with you, if that’s okay.”

Buffy relaxed slightly. “I didn’t know you got married.”

“Yeah, her name’s Sam. She’s great. I’d like you to meet her sometime.”

“That would be nice. And in that case, I think lunch would be okay.”

* * * * *

Buffy and Riley sat at the Espresso Pump, filling each other in on their
lives. Buffy had already told him that she was seeing someone, and Riley was
thrilled for her.

“So, tell me about Sam,” Buffy said as she took a sip of her iced tea.
“How’d you meet?”

“Actually, she’s a karate instructor.”

“Really?” Buffy asked with a smile. “So she could probably wipe the floor
with you, huh?”

“Yeah,” Riley said with a laugh. “What can I say, I like strong women.
Case in point,” he said, gesturing to Buffy.

She smiled at the compliment. “So, is that how you met?”

“We actually met at the gym. She was sparring with some guy, and she kicked
his ass, so it really got my attention.”

Buffy laughed before looking at her watch. “Oh my gosh, we’ve been here
for an hour. I better get going,” she said as she stood up.

Riley stood up with her. “I’m really glad we talked today, Buffy.”

“Me, too,” she said with a nod. “We didn’t exactly end on the best terms…I’m
really happy for you, though.”

“Thanks,” Riley said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. He stayed where he
was as he looked into Buffy’s eyes. “You make sure your new boyfriend takes
good care of you,” he said before taking a step back.

Buffy gave him a bright smile. “I will. And next time you’re in town, make
sure to bring Sam by. I think I’ll like her.”

“I’m sure she’ll like you, too. It was good seeing you, Buffy.”

“You, too. Bye, Riley,” she said with a wave as she started walking in the
opposite direction.

* * * * *

Spike was walking back to his motorcycle after buying a pack of cigarettes
when he looked across the street and saw Buffy and another man laughing at a
table. He watched as they laughed together before Buffy glanced at her
watch and stood.

Spike was about to walk over when he saw the man bend closer to her, angling
his head to hers. He felt his heart drop when Buffy didn’t pull away from
him. After a few seconds, he watched as the man stepped back, and Buffy gave him a wide smile.

Spike gritted his teeth together as he walked away, his heart feeling like
it was breaking.

* * * * *

Buffy sat in her apartment later that night, idly flipping through a
magazine as she glanced at the clock every few seconds. Spike was over
twenty minutes late picking her up for their date, and she was beginning to
get worried.

She knew it wasn’t a big deal if he wanted to back out- they were just going
to the Bronze. But she knew he would have called if he was going to be
late. She had tried calling him five minutes ago, and no one had answered.
Nervously chewing on her bottom lip, Buffy made a decision.

Half an hour later, she was walking through the door of the Bronze. She
figured on the walk there, that she must have gotten confused and she was
supposed to meet Spike there. As she scanned the interior of the club,
Buffy smiled when she saw him. Her smile quickly faded, though, as she saw
him obviously flirting with another girl at the bar.

Making her way over to him, Buffy tapped him on the shoulder, surprised
when he turned around and acknowledged her with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, Buffy. Why?”

“I-I just thought that we had a date tonight. Was I wrong?”

“Was that tonight?” he asked with a bored tone. “Sorry, luv, but I made
other plans.”

Buffy’s eyes shot over to the other girl at the bar. She focused on her
breathing as her lips tightened, trying to ignore the feeling of panic that
was growing inside her. “Spike, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I already told you, Buffy, I made other plans tonight.”

“Can we talk somewhere else?” she asked, hating herself for the pleading
tone of her voice.

Spike let out a sigh. “I guess.”

Buffy felt as if her heart stopped as she watched him swivel on his stool to
kiss the other girl feeling a sense of relief set in that it was on the cheek, before turning and walking out of the club.

Buffy followed him into the empty alley. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’ve already answered that, pet,” he said with his arms crossed over his
chest. Buffy cringed at the scent of whiskey that seemed to roll off of him.

“Spike, I-I thought…I thought you liked me?”

“I never said I didn’t. What did you think this was?”

‘Don’t do it, Buffy,’ she told herself. ‘You’re stronger now, don’t let him
turn you into the victim that every other man has done in the past.’

She stared at him as her anger won out. “You’re an asshole, do you know
that?”

Spike clenched his jaw as his temper flared. In one quick movement, he grabbed Buffy’s arms, shoving her roughly into the side of the building. Buffy felt the bricks scraping her back as he held her forcefully in place, but left her features expressionless as his face came within an inch of hers.

“Just because we had a little fun in the sack, that didn’t mean that I was
ready to marry you. It was a good time, Buffy. That’s all.”

Parker and Angel’s voice came rushing back to her, combining with Spike’s.
She felt tears spring to her eyes, not from the tight hold on her arms, but
because of how much he could hurt her with his words. “I thought you were
different.”

“Guess you thought wrong,” he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

Buffy’s eyes flashed as she looked at him. “Get your damn hands off me,”
she said through gritted teeth.

Spike smirked as he held her in place. “I thought you liked my hands on
you.”

“You had a lot of misconceptions of what I like,” she said angrily. “Let go
of me.”

She realized it probably wasn’t a good idea to make him any angrier, but she
really didn’t care at this point.

“Spike? What the hell are you doing?”

Both Buffy and Spike turned toward the voices, seeing William and Xander
breaking into a run. As Spike was distracted, Buffy raised her arms and
brought them down, hard, breaking his hold on her. Shoving him away from
her, Buffy fought the tears in her eyes as she looked at him. “I hope she’s
worth it,” she said softly. She saw the remorse that seemed to flash on his
face, but ignored it as she walked away.

Xander and William met up with her. “Don’t,” she said quietly, holding up a
hand. She couldn’t make eye contact with them. “There’s nothing to worry
about.”

They watched as Buffy walked out of the alley before turning to face Spike.

“Xander,” William said in a low voice. “Go on in. Tell the others I’ll be
inside in a minute.”

Xander did as he was told as William and Spike stared at each other
before Will grabbed him by the collar of his duster, throwing him into the
wall.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, you pillock?” Spike asked angrily
as his brother held him in place.

“I’m doing the same thing you just did to Buffy. Now, you wanna be a good
little boy and tell me what’s going on, or do we do this the hard way?”

“It’s none of your sodding business, mate,” Spike said, trying to break free
from his brother’s hold.

“Maybe not, but when you hurt someone I care about, it soon becomes a
problem for me.”

“She’ll be fine. It’s not like I roughed her up.”

Spike was shocked when Will’s fist came out to land squarely on his jaw.

“Ow! Bloody hell!”

“You’re about to get roughed up, little brother. Did you not see how much
she was hurting? You left soddin’ hand marks on her arms! You don’t think
she’ll be bruised tomorrow? That her back won’t be hurting from being
shoved against a brick wall?”

To emphasize his point, Will pushed Spike harder against the wall. Seeing
the look that flashed across his face, Will dropped his brother to the ground.

“Yeah…you hurt her, Spike,” he said, looking down on him. “I can’t believe I actually helped you. You don’t deserve her.”

Spike felt the tears spring to his eyes as William turned around and walked
into the club. “I really don’t,” he whispered to himself.

A/N Because that was such an angsty chapter (and I didn’t want to get flamed for turning our beloved Spike into an ass or reviews hoping Buffy would pick ‘good guy’ William) I thought I’d go ahead and post this one. Enjoy – and I expect lots of glowing reviews for giving everyone a better chapter to leave off :-P
Chapter 14


Buffy didn’t leave her apartment for a week. Her phone was unplugged, and
her door stayed locked. All of her friends had tried to get in touch with
her, but Buffy wouldn’t answer anything.

Spike had stopped by the night of their fight, but Buffy refused to answer the door. He
had stood outside for over an hour pleading with her to forgive him. Buffy
eventually closed herself in the bathroom with the water running so she
wouldn’t hear him.

Now, a week later, Buffy stepped out of her bathtub and looked at her
reflection in the mirror. Shadows tinted the skin under her eyes. She had
lost some weight since she had hardly eaten anything since that night.
Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Buffy took a deep breath and quickly
dressed in a pair of white cotton pants and a black tank top. She would
call her friends tomorrow, let them know that she was still alive. Tonight,
she just wanted to relax. She hadn’t done that, even though she’d been home
for so long. She was always too anxious, thinking about that night. She also needed to go see her mom and sister. They were probably getting worried about her as well.

Buffy took her hair down, running a comb through it before she opened the
door and wandered down the hall and into the living room. Looking up when
she entered the room, Buffy froze.

Spike stood in the middle of her living room with his hands shoved in his
pockets, nervously biting his lower lip.

“H-how…”

“Will gave me the key, luv. We were- I was worried about you.”

Buffy felt herself losing air as she stared at him. “Why didn’t he use it
himself?” she asked quietly.

“Because I begged him to let me be the one to come check on you.” Spike fearfully licked
his lips as he took a step toward her. “Buffy-“

He stopped when he saw her flatten herself against the wall behind her.
Spike shut his eyes against the tears he felt. “Luv, please don’t be scared
of me,” he pleaded in a choked voice, stepping toward her. He let his tears
fall when he reached out to gently caress her cheek, and she turned away from
him, trembling at having him so close. “I won’t hurt you, baby,” Spike said
in a hoarse whisper.

“But you did!” she cried as she looked at him. “You hurt me, Spike!”
Spike soothingly tried to cup her face in his hands, only to be pushed away.
“Don’t,” she said quietly. “Don’t touch me.”

“I’m sorry,” Spike said earnestly. “I would never hit you, baby. Never!”

“You didn’t have to,” she said, looking into his eyes. “Why do that when
you can just scare me, right?”

“Buffy, I promise, baby, I’ll never do that again.”

“It wasn’t just that, Spike. You were on a date with someone else!”

“Only because you kissed someone else,” he said quietly, looking down at the floor.

“What?”

“I saw you that day, Buffy. With another man.”

“Riley,” Buffy said with a nod of understanding. “I didn’t kiss him,
though. He kissed me on the cheek when he said good-bye.” Spike looked up
in surprise. “Yeah…I didn’t do anything, Spike. He’s married. You’re the
one who’s guilty.”

“Buffy-“

Spike froze again as Buffy tried to get away from him. Taking a deep
breath, he continued, “I didn’t know, I’m-“

“Well then, why didn’t you ask me?” she asked angrily. “Why just assume
the worst?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “I want to be with you, Buffy.”

“No, you don’t,” she said with clenched teeth. “You don’t want to be with
me, I was just a ‘good time’, remember?”

“Baby, I didn’t mean that. I was just angry.”

“Well, guess what? I’m angry now, so do me a favor and go back to your new
girl.”

“I don’t have a new girl. You’re my girl.”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “If that was true, you never would have
done any of it. You hurt me, Spike. Physically…and emotionally. And you
scared me.”

“What can I do?” he asked tearfully. “Please, let me make it up to you.”

Buffy felt her heart breaking as she tried to close off her emotions. She
shook her head as tears clouded her vision. “Nothing,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing you can do…just…please leave now.”

“I can’t,” Spike whispered. “I’m in love with you.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his as he said it. “Please don’t…”

Spike took a step forward, gently running his fingers through her hair. “I
love you,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers as tears streaked
down his cheeks.

Before Buffy knew what was happening, his mouth descended to meet hers.
Tenderly caressing his lips against Buffy’s, his tongue lightly licked at
her lips, asking for entrance. Buffy moaned as he deepened the kiss before
she pushed him away. “No, Spike. You can’t do that! You can’t just kiss
me and expect the problems to go away!”

Spike stared at her as she spoke. “I’m not expecting them to go away,” he
said softly. “I’m trying to make it up to you. I love you,” he repeated,
looking sincerely into her eyes. “I’m not expecting you to say it back, but
I needed you to know how I feel. I’m not giving you up without a fight,
baby.”
Buffy seemed to pause for a moment. “I don’t want you drinking anymore…ever.”
“If that’s what it takes to prove how much I love you, then I’ll do it.”

Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes at his honesty. Slowly, she took a step toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him down for a reassuring hug. Both needing the comfort it provided. Pulling away after a moment, she stared intensely at him. “I’m not forgiving you yet,” she said in an unconvincing tone as she gave a slight shake of her head. “But I believe you. If you ever do that-“

“I won’t,” he replied sternly.

“If you ever do that again,” Buffy continued. “That’s it. It’s over…no
going back after that.”

Spike nodded in understanding as he wrapped her in another fierce hug. “I’ll
never hurt you again, baby…I promise. Never again,” he trailed off in a whisper.
Spike buried his face in the crook of her neck, letting the last of his tears fall as she tightened her hold on him. “I know.”


A/N Please be gentle! These were two very hard chapters for me to write- I almost didn’t post them. Angst is over and more Spuffyness to come!

Chapter 15


Spike held Buffy in his arms for as long as he could. When she slowly
pulled away from him, he saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. Spike
lovingly stroked her cheek as he stared down at her. “I love you, Buffy,”
he whispered again, his voice thick with emotion.

“Don’t,” Buffy said, shaking her head. At his dejected look, she continued,
“I believe you, just please don’t tell me that right now.”

Spike nodded. “Do you mind if I stay for a while?”

“Spike, I-“

”I’ll go if you want me to, I just-“

“Stay,” she whispered, looking up at him. “I want this to work, and if it’s
going to…you need to be here.”

Spike slowly shrugged out of his duster, laying it across a nearby chair.
“Do you want to watch a movie, luv?” he asked, wanting to get back to the normalcy of their relationship.

Buffy smiled. “That sounds good. You pick,” she said as she headed to the
kitchen.

“Okay,” Spike said, clapping his hands together. “What’s your pleasure? We
have horror, action, comedy, romance, classics, drama-“

“Drama,” Buffy called from the kitchen as she began making popcorn. A few
minutes later, Buffy walked back into the living room, bowl in hand and two
soda cans. “So, what’s the verdict?” she asked as she sat down on the
couch. Spike sat next to her but made sure to keep a safe distance.

”Silence of the Lambs.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at his choice.

“Hey!” Spike said indignantly. “It’s a good movie, and you’re the one
who has the DVD, so don’t give me that look.”

Buffy gave him a small smile. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Ten minutes after the popcorn was gone, Spike was ignoring the movie. The
silent debate he was having with himself was distracting him. He ached to
be closer to Buffy, his body seemed to pull him toward her, but he couldn’t.
He was already pushing his luck by being here- he couldn’t risk getting
her upset at him again.

As the argument went on in his head, he almost didn’t notice when Buffy
moved closer to him, snuggling into his side. Spike breathed a sigh of
relief that he was able to touch her again as he wrapped an arm around her
shoulders.

Halfway through the movie, Buffy and Spike found themselves lying side by
side on the couch. Spike’s arm was wrapped securely around her waist
while her hand lazily traced over his arm.

Spike gently pulled his arm away from her as he let his fingertips run over
the bare skin of her arm. It was smooth and not as tan as it used to be,
and as Spike stared at it, he couldn’t help the emotions that came over him
as he watched the pattern his hand was moving in.

“I’m sorry.”

Buffy rolled over to face him when she heard the hoarse whisper. Seeing the
tears in his eyes, she reached a hand up to his face. “Spike, what’s
wrong?”

“I never meant to hurt you, Buffy,” he mumbled as tears streamed down his
face.

“You already told me, Spike. I believe you,” Buffy said gently.

“I can’t make up excuses, luv. I was being a wanker about a situation you
had no control over…I never meant to lose my temper like that.”

“I know,” Buffy said quietly. “I know that wasn’t you. You were jealous
and angry. Those two things together are unmixy.” Spike smiled at her
choice of words. “Besides,” Buffy continued. “I was partly to blame. I
shouldn’t have gone out with Riley without telling you. I wouldn’t have been happy seeing you out with an ex-girlfriend.”

“Buffy, I don’t want you to feel like you have to ask permission to do
something. I don’t want to control you…I just want you to be in my life.”

“I’m here,” Buffy said softly. “And as much as I’ve wished I could…I’m not
going anywhere.”

“Do you still wish it, pet?” Spike asked with fear in his eyes.

“Right now,” she said, snuggling deeper into his arms. “There’s no place
I’d rather be.”

“Were you…” Spike trailed off as he tried to reign in his emotions. “Were
you in a lot of pain?”

Buffy pulled back to look into his eyes. “Yes,” she said quietly. “But
not physically, if that’s what you mean.”

“Bloody hell, I wish I could take that day back,” Spike said in a gravelly
voice as he rolled onto his back, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“We can’t,” Buffy said softly. “But maybe it was good that it happened.”

“How can me acting like a pillock be good?” Spike asked, looking at her.

Well…if you reacted like that, I know that you feel something for me. You’re
passionate, Spike, and I’d be lying if I said that it doesn’t scare me, but
I trust you. Not that I want that reaction ever again,” she added as an
afterthought. “But out of something so horrible, it made you realize you love me.

“I do love you, baby. More than anything,” he replied as he nuzzled into
her neck.

“I know,” she whispered, her fingers lacing through his. “I believe you.”

* * * * *

Buffy woke up before sunrise the next morning. She and Spike were still
entwined on the couch, arms and legs tangled together. The TV screen had
turned blue, providing the only light in the room. Buffy rearranged
herself, turning her body into Spike’s chest and breathing in his unique
scent. She smiled as his arms tightened around her, pulling her even
closer.

Looking at his face, Buffy reached a hand up to trace the distinct lines.
She was careful not to wake him up, but she smiled when he stirred slightly.
After a few minutes, Buffy stopped her movements and leaned back slightly
to stare at him. She knew that she was falling for him…and it scared her.

Buffy realized that he meant what he said. He did love her, and he never
meant to hurt her, but if she completely let herself go, would she be able
to recover if it didn’t work? When Angel had left her, Buffy felt like she
was dying. When she thought she’d lost Spike, she felt like her heart had
been ripped out. What would happen if she let herself love him?

‘Assuming you already don’t.’

Buffy sighed, knowing that it was true. Otherwise, why would it have
affected her so much when she thought he was gone? Why did she so readily accept him back into her life?

“What’s wrong, baby?”

Buffy looked up and saw those startling blue eyes staring back at her. She
put on a smile for his benefit. “Just thinking.”

“Anything interesting?” he asked as his hand came up to run his fingertips
along her cheek.

"Not really,” Buffy replied, averting her eyes from him.

“Buffy,” Spike said softly. “You can tell me.”

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

“Of what, pet?” he asked as his hands ran through her long hair.

“You.” She felt Spike tense up, his body freezing at her admission. “Not
like that,” Buffy added quickly. “That’s not what I meant.”

Spike seemed to relax a little as he pulled her closer. “What did you
mean?”

“I’m scared of how I’m feeling.”

“About me?” he asked with a tinge of hope in his voice.

Buffy raised her eyes to his and nodded.

“Buffy…don’t worry about it, okay? I don’t want you to push yourself to try
and fall in love with me. That’s not why I told you.”

“What if I already am?” she asked quietly, moving her eyes to Spike’s chest,
not sure if she should have said it.

Spike was silent for a long time until finally Buffy raised her eyes to
his. “Are you?” he whispered in a hoarse voice.

Buffy swallowed hard. “I…”

Buffy gasped as she felt Spike’s lips on hers. His fingers running
through her hair to gently hold her to him as his tongue probed her lips,
begging access. When her mouth opened slightly, Buffy moaned as his tongue
danced with hers. The kiss escalated with more passion before Spike
breathlessly pulled away. “I can wait, Buffy,” he said in a husky voice.
“I don’t need to hear you say it. I can wait.”

Buffy nodded gratefully, her feelings already spiraling out of control at
his patience and obvious love for her. “Thank you,” she whispered before
pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.




A/N I’m not entirely happy with this chapter, but (shrugs) what are you gonna do. Just two or three plugs here: I wanted to give a big thank you to destructo-girl for the awesome award she gave me for featuring Secrets of the Heart on her website. Make sure you take a look at her website www.destructo-girl.com and make sure you check out my website www.unseenshadows.4t.com/ashlee to see the award. Also, go look at the new layout of Steph’s website www.unseenshadows.4t.com since she is the one responsible for me having mine :-) And while I’m giving thank you’s and advertisements, yet another thank you to Allison for betaing this story!

Chapter 16 – Starting Over


Buffy quickly put the finishing touches on her make-up when she heard the
knock at the door. It had been two weeks since she and Spike made up, and he had been making a conscious effort in their relationship, coming over most
nights to watch movies with her or just enjoying the company of each other.

Buffy went to the door and pulled it open to reveal Spike in a black suit
and a black tie with a royal blue shirt. Buffy was practically drooling as
she looked at him.

“Wow,” she murmured as Spike entered the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

“Wow is right,” he said softly as he looked at the little black dress that
clung to her figure. Pulling her into his arms, Spike softly nuzzled her
neck. “You almost ready, luv?”

“Yeah,” she replied as her arms twined around his neck. Tilting her head
back, Spike caught her lips in a passionate kiss, tightening his grip around
her waist as his tongue stroked against hers.

Buffy pulled away, breathless, after a minute, looking up into his eyes.
“You sure you don’t want to just stay in tonight?” she asked with a grin.

“We’ll get to that later, pet,” Spike answered with a smirk. “I promised
you a night out, and you’re going to get it.”

Buffy nodded, pressing her lips to his again for a chaste kiss, before Spike
led her out the door. Buffy frowned when they walked out of the complex and
Spike led her over to a brand new, red Mustang. “What’s this?”

“It’s a car,” he replied with a smile.

“Did you sell the motorcycle?” she asked in disbelief. Spike nodded as he
opened her door. Buffy turned around to face him with a puzzled expression.

“It was time for me to grow up, pet,” he said softly.

“Spike, you didn’t do this for me, did you?” she asked worriedly.

Spike reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “No, luv. I’ve
been thinking about it for a while, and now seemed like the best time.”
Bending down, he gave her a soft, loving kiss. “I think it’s time I get my
life together.”

“Your life is together,” she said softly as she wrapped her arms around his
waist, pulling him closer. “You have a job you enjoy, a home, friends…me,”
she trailed off in a whisper as she looked into his eyes.

Spike smiled, gently trailing his hand down her cheek. “Alright then,” he
said as he helped her into the Mustang. “The car is just a bonus.”

* * * * *

Buffy and Spike sat in the restaurant, laughing and sipping wine as they
talked. They had been there for over three hours, and both were having such
a good time, neither was ready to leave.

Buffy stared across the table at Spike. The room was bathed in soft
candlelight that seemed to dance over the hollows and planes of his face.
He was watching her with so much love and adoration in his eyes, Buffy felt
herself blushing at the intensity of his stare.

Spike broke eye contact to look around the dim interior. “I think we’re
about to close the place. You ready to go, luv?”

Buffy nodded, smiling at him as he jumped from his seat to offer his hand to
her. Buffy stood, feeling his lips on hers for the briefest moment, before
he settled her hand in the crook of his arm to lead her out of the
restaurant.

Spike noticed the shiver that raced down her spine when they stepped into
the cool night air. Quickly shrugging out of his coat, he wrapped it around
her slender form, turning to face her and pull it tight in the front. Buffy
smiled up at him, pleased with the thoughtful gesture as his lips claimed
hers in a passionate kiss.

Pulling away after a few moments, Buffy stared into his eyes. They almost
seemed cobalt from where they stood in the shadows.

“I love you, Spike.”

Spike’s eyes widened at the admission, tilting his head slightly as if he
was trying to be sure of what she said.

Buffy giggled. “Did you hear me, silly?”

“I did,” he replied in a hoarse whisper before a brilliant smile took over
his features. “I love you too, baby.”

Buffy squealed as she was lifted up in strong arms and spun around the
parking lot. She felt slightly dizzy when Spike put her on her feet again.
The dizziness only escalated when his lips met hers in another searing
kiss.

“Let’s go home, luv,” Spike whispered when they pulled away.

Buffy nodded, giggling again when he scooped her up in his arms again,
carrying her to the car.

* * * * *

Buffy and Spike barely made it through the front door before they began
undressing each other. As Buffy’s dress fell from her body, she found
herself against the wall as Spike pushed himself against her.

Their lips were fused together as Buffy frantically began working with his
tie and the buttons of his shirt as Spike hurriedly undressed himself from
the waist down. Pulling back to look into her lust-filled eyes, Spike
quickly stripped her thong from her body, satisfied that they were both
naked.

“Bedroom?” he asked in a husky voice.

Buffy shook her head, wrapping her arms around his neck and locking her legs
behind his back as she kissed him again. Both moaned as he penetrated her,
staring into each other’s eyes as Spike slowly pushed into her. For all
their overzealous attitude in getting undressed, Buffy was surprised that he
was being so tender now.

She gasped when he was fully sheathed inside of her, breathing heavily as he
stopped, letting her get used to him. After a moment, both moaned as Spike
began to slowly thrust into her, building the friction in both of them.
Buffy kissed him as his thrusts sped up, repeatedly pushing her against the
wall as they moved together.

Buffy felt all the air leave her body as she was taken by surprise when a
small orgasm raced through her body unexpectedly. Opening her eyes and
gasping for breath, she saw the smile playing on Spike’s lips as he
continued to move in and out of her body. “Proud of yourself?” she asked
breathlessly.

“Not yet,” he murmured as his lips brushed against her neck, sending chills
racing down her spine. “But I will be soon.”

Buffy cried out in pleasure and surprise as she felt him completely leave
her body before slamming back into her. She clutched at his back, feeling
the tightening in her stomach signaling her impending climax as she pushed
back against him.

Spike gripped her hips harder as he changed the angle of his thrusts,
pleased with himself when Buffy began writhing against him, visibly losing
control.

“Spike!” Buffy screamed as she felt her body begin to hum in pleasure
before feeling herself fall over the edge, pleasure coursing through her as
she and Spike moved together.

Spike’s breathing quickened as he sought out his own release. Buffy
tightened her grip on his neck, pulling herself closer to him, trailing
kisses up the length of his jaw. When she got to his ear, Buffy couldn’t
help but smile as she licked the tender lobe, enjoying Spike’s groan.

When she felt him begin to tire, Buffy repeated the action before
whispering, “I love you.”

Spike began pulsing inside of her, the whispered words sending him over the
edge as he wrapped his arms securely around her body. Both laid their heads
on each other’s shoulders as they tried to catch their breath.

Taking a deep breath, Spike turned and walked over to the couch. Dropping
back onto it without ever leaving her body, he smiled as Buffy giggled when
she found herself straddling him before laying her head down on his chest.
Spike’s hands trailed erratic patterns over the bare skin of her back,
sending chills through her as he kissed the top of her head.

Buffy propped her chin against his chest as she raised her eyes to meet his.
Reaching up to run a hand through his hair, loosening some of the curls that
were still slicked back, she gave him a small smile. “I love you, so much,”
she whispered, her eyes filling with tears at the emotions she was feeling
for him.

Spike briefly closed his eyes, swallowing hard at the words that he had only
dreamed of hearing her say. “I love you, too, Buffy,” he whispered against
the lump in his throat. Buffy smiled and raised an eyebrow when she felt
his length harden inside of her. Spike bit his lip, grinning at her as she
wiggled in place. “I think it’s going to be a long night, luv.”

Buffy smiled before meeting his lips in a tender kiss.

Epilogue

One Year Later


Buffy laughed as Spike chased her through the ocean surf, squealing when she
felt his strong arm catch her around the waist and spin her around in
circles, kicking up water as they laughed. She quickly wriggled out of his
grasp, running back to their friends, spread out around the picnic area they
had out.

Xander and Faith sat, arguing about some mundane issue, while Anya and
William lay side by side, stretched out to watch the sun begin to set.

It had taken a while, but eventually William and Spike had gotten over their
issues, forming a friendship again. It had taken even longer for everyone
to feel comfortable being in the same area together, but once they had all
gone out together a few times, they found it easier.

Buffy and Anya had even formed a tentative friendship, once Buffy got used
to Anya’s very direct way of speaking, and Anya was assured that Buffy was
in love with Spike.

Out of breath, Buffy collapsed on the blanket next to Faith as Spike came
up behind her, laying down as well. She smiled when she heard Anya and Faith
begin a conversation on how to achieve the perfect orgasm.

“Got any tips for them, luv?” Spike whispered, panting slightly from running
for the last ten minutes.

“Nope,” Buffy said, rolling over to face him as she gently traced the jagged scar on his eyebrow. He’s acquired it a few months ago, working at the construction site, giving him an even more rugged look than he already had. “They’re on their own, because my secret is you…and I sure as hell won’t share.”

Spike chuckled, leaning in to leave a gentle kiss on her lips. The three
couples separated after a few minutes. Anya and William walked hand in hand
along the beach while Faith and Xander went to play in the water.

Spike sat up, dragging Buffy into a sitting position and pulling her onto
his lap. Buffy leaned her head back against his bare chest as Spike rested
his chin on her shoulder, his arms encircling her waist, holding her to him
protectively. Both stayed quiet as they watched the sunset begin to turn
more vivid, the brilliant colors casting a glow over the happy couple.

“Marry me.”

Buffy turned slowly to face Spike, not sure if she heard him right. “What
did you say?” she asked, a slight smile on her lips.

“Marry me,” he repeated, kissing her neck.

“Are you serious?” Buffy asked, turning to fully face him.

“Completely,” Spike said, staring deeply into her eyes. “Will you?”

Buffy paused for a moment before a huge smile took over her face. “Of
course,” she said, leaning forward to press her lips to his. The move was
so forceful, Spike soon found himself laying in the sand as her lips
attacked his.

Pulling away, Spike tenderly pushed the hair out of her face as he stared
into the eyes of the woman he loved. “I’m going to make you so happy,
baby.”

Buffy snuggled closer to him, kissing his cheek. “You already have.”


THE END

A/N I’ve gotten quite a few e-mails and a couple of reviews from people, wondering what Spike’s real name would have been. I didn’t write it, because I thought it would have been a bit too tongue-in-cheek. For those wondering, it probably would have ended up being James. The other option was Randy, but Spike never looked like a Randy to me :-) Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing. I should have a new WIP out soon.