Quiet.

That was definitely the keyword in the morning. At least around this house it had to be.

Buffy Summers slowly tip-toed down the stairs, carefully putting her book bag over her shoulder, she pulled her hair into a simple ponytail, just like every other morning.

She wore nothing fantastic, just a pair of baggy blue jeans and a sweatshirt.

Just like every other day.

But this was different. Today was different. She would be starting her junior year at Sunnydale High, the school she was now forced to go to.

She’d moved to Sunnydale just a week or so ago…right after…the incident.

As Buffy started walking down the hallway, she stopped dead in her tracks when Darla, her aunt stepped out from the kitchen.

Guess she wasn’t quiet enough.

“Buffy,” Darla started with a slight smile, anything but friendly. “We expect you home right after school. We don’t want you wandering all over town.”

Buffy wanted to scream at the woman. They had been doing this to her since she arrived here: keeping her inside except for when she absolutely had to go out. They didn’t want news spreading around that they didn’t treat their niece with the care that guardians should.

But she couldn’t scream, because then they would get angry.

And man, did she hate it when they got angry.

Buffy had been sent there to live with her aunt and uncle after ‘the incident’ left her without her mother. Her father had refused to take her in, so Darla had suggested they do it.

Not because they loved her.

Heck no. They drank the most out of anyone she knew, and Buffy didn’t even believe someone could mistake them for having souls.

No, the courts had offered to help support Buffy since Angelus’ and Darla’s part-time jobs didn’t cover all the expenses needed.

And of course they wouldn’t use the money for her.
Buffy nodded toward her aunt and quickly stepped out into the bright morning sun. There had never been a time that she wanted it to rain more than she did now. It was terrible to have the rest of the world happy when you were torn up inside.

It wasn’t that far of a walk to the school, so Buffy arrived when there was still a good twenty minutes before the bell rang.

Hugging her arms over her chest shyly, she started toward the school. As she was walking, she couldn’t help but notice all the different people around her. Her eyes locked on a tree near the school where a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders sat.

She remembered those days: when she was popular, head cheerleader, not a care in the world.

She would give anything to have that back.


Spike Giles stood under the shaded area near the school, laughing and joking along with his friends. This group was where he had belonged since he was in junior high. His friends, Riley, Parker, Owen, and Gunn stood near him while the cheerleaders, Cordelia, Harmony, Amy, and a few others sat talking among themselves.

Spike let his gaze travel over the campus, the campus he and his friends practically owned.

Suddenly, he jerked his eyes back toward a blonde girl that was quickly making her way toward the door. She was obviously new.

As he watched her some more, he had to admit she was pretty. Of course it was hard to tell the way she hid behind baggy clothes and pulled her hair up like that.

“Who’s the new geek?” Cordelia asked as she followed his gaze.

Suddenly Spike remembered his place. He couldn’t be thinking girls like that were pretty. “Like we should care?” He asked her with a raised eyebrow.


Willow Rosenberg stood with Alexander Harris near the front of the school. “Hey, new girl,” Willow said as she put her long hair behind her ears.

As Buffy was about to enter the school, Xander stepped out in front of her. “Xander,” he said suddenly, causing her to jump. “…is me,” he finished awkwardly.

“Oh, um…Buffy,” she said, making no attempt to shake his hand or leave her tensed state.

“Willow,” Willow said cheerfully, grabbing her bag as the three walked in. Buffy kept her eyes glued on the floor as more people piled into the school. “So, um, you’re awfully quiet,” Willow commented shyly.

“You new?”

Buffy looked over at Xander and nodded. “Used to live in LA,” she informed them.

“Wow, really? What brought you to this small hellhole?” He asked with a smile. Buffy just looked up sharply.

“Nothing…I just…I had to move. No big deal,” she suddenly snapped.

“Okay, the past is obviously a touchy subject for someone,” a strange voice said from behind her.

“Parker, back off,” Willow said with more strength than she’d ever used in her voice before.

Parker just smirked as the rest of the jocks and cheerleaders stood around him. “Hey, I’m just stating the obvious,” he replied.

Buffy turned to walk away, not wanting to be here, but Riley’s hand shot out, and grabbed her shoulder. It wasn’t a harsh touch, it wasn’t even supposed to be forceful, but for some reason Buffy cringed and jerked her shoulder away.

Spike noticed this and immediately pulled Riley back. “Leave her alone. She’s not even worth it,” Spike said, only in an attempt to get them to back off. They were obviously in unwanted territory here.

Buffy sent a glare his way and just started backing away, until she finally turned around and walked toward the office to get her schedule.



It was some time later and Buffy had been sent to the library for books.

“Buffy?” The librarian asked with a confused look.

“Giles?” Buffy set her book bag on the table and went forward to give the man a hug. “Oh my gosh…it’s been like three years!”

It was easy to see that the presense of the familiar man was taking away all the stress from earlier.

“Yes. It was when I bought that painting from your mother’s gallery in LA,” he said with a smile and then regretted it as Buffy’s face fell at the mention of her mother. “By the way, I’m terribly sorry about your mother and sister.”

Buffy immediately blinked her tears away and smiled. “No big. But um, I need some books.”

Giles knew she was just avoiding the topic, but he didn’t press it further.



“Buffy!” Willow almost screeched as she saw the blonde enter the classroom. Nodding in greeting, Buffy took a seat beside her. “You took off earlier, we didn’t have a chance to invite you to The Bronze tonight.”

“The what-a?” Buffy’s eyebrow shot up.

“It’s the only club worth going to around here. Xand and I go all the time.”

“Oh…I c-can’t. Um, Darla’s making me stay in to help her tonight,” Buffy lied.

“Darla?” Xander had sat down beside them and looked confused.

“M-my aunt,” Buffy replied looking down. “I live with her and my uncle.”

“Oh,” Will and Xand replied and the same time, not wanting to ask about why she wasn’t with her parents.

The bell rang and Buffy groaned when the platinum blonde from earlier strolled in and took the only available seat: next to her.

“Don’t want to be here anymore than you want me ‘ere, pet,” Spike assured her

Rolling her eyes Buffy raised her hand when the teacher called her name off role.

“William Giles,” the teacher called out and the blond groaned.

“Name’s Spike, for the millionth bloody time,” he almost yelled.

‘Giles!?’ Buffy’s head screamed. There was no way he was related to the sweet man from the library. The thought alone almost made Buffy laugh, but she almost found it impossible to laugh anymore.


The rest of the day had gone by quickly and without any more confrontations from Spike and his gang. But Buffy had had to stay after in her last class for some information and knew she was going to be late.


And just as she predicted, Buffy arrived home forty-five minutes late. As she slowly opened her front door, she was surprised when it was jerked open and an angry-looking Angelus stood with an almost empty beer bottle. Before she could say anything, he grabbed her wrist, pulled her in and slammed the door shut. He pushed her away roughly.

Buffy knew that what she went through with her aunt and uncle wasn’t intentional…they didn’t mean to hurt her when they did. They were drunk, and it’s not like they hit her, just pulled her too roughly sometimes.

Or, at least this is how she justified it to herself. “Where were you?”

He didn’t want an answer; she knew that. Answering him would make the situation worse. Without another word, he pushed past her and into the kitchen and she hurriedly made her way up the stairs.

Only two more years. That’s all, and then she could go. She’d be 18 and things would be fine again.

As long as she could make it through without having anymore deaths on her hands.

(It's really not what you think. lol. Review for next chapter.)


A/N: Hehe…so, lots of unanswered questions, I know. This is just a little bit of background, and I’ll fill in the missing pieces in my next chapter. Tell me what you think. Continue? No?

She didn’t think bruises were so hard to cover up. Buffy had seen plenty of people use makeup on TV to cover up their bruises…but for some reason the handprints on her wrists and upper arms wouldn’t even fade the slightest. She’d just have to wear a sweatshirt again. She then brought her hand up to the small, single bruise on her cheekbone.

---Flashback to the previous night---

Angel, as Angelus always asked to be called, had brought Darla home after their evening shift at the bar. Both adults were drunk as anything, so Buffy hurried to her room.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t been fast enough and had only been halfway up the stairs when Angel and Darla came stumbling through the front door.

Laughing up a storm, Darla clumsily closed the door. “Oh, Buffy…what are you still doing up?” Her voice wasn’t hate-filled or anything, just sounded annoyed. This couple really didn’t want to have to take care of her.

“I, um…there was some homework that I n-needed to finish,” she said, stuttering a little bit.

“O-oh ok-kay,” Angel said, mocking the way she’d stumbled on her words. Both he and Darla went into a fit of laughter again. Angel’s laughter quickly died down when he saw that his bruised handprints were visible all over Buffy’s arms now that she was only in her short-sleeved shirt instead of a sweatshirt.

Buffy followed his gaze and wish she had kept her sweatshirt on. “Who’d you tell?” He asked in a low voice. “Because, ya know, it was for your own good. Kids need discipline…no sense in telling people I hurt you when I was only giving you what you deserved.” His voice was defensive, yet friendly, wanting Buffy to keep the ‘mistakes’ a secret.

Buffy, without thinking, rolled her eyes. “Didn’t tell anyone, sir,” she said in a voice that clearly stated she was annoyed.

Before she could react, Angel had used the back of his hand across her cheek. It wasn’t extremely hard of a hit, but it definitely hurt. As she held her cheek in her hand, Angel glared at her. “I think it’s time for bed, Buffy. We can talk about this later.”

Darla had been holding her giggles in, but she almost fell over laughing now.

As Buffy turned to leave, she sighed.

Was there ever a time that they weren’t drunk?

---End of flashback---

That was the first time Angel had hit her.

And it’s the last time, she reasoned with herself.

Sighing, Buffy put on a different sweatshirt than from the day before and just stopped trying to cover up the stupid bruise on her face.

She could always make up a cover story for it this time.



Spike was not having the best morning.

“Dad, give me the keys,” Spike demanded the older man.

“You skipped a few classes yesterday. I told you that if I found out, no car for a week. Walk.” Rupert Giles, didn’t even look up from his morning paper as Spike groaned.

But, knowing that his dad wasn’t going to give in, Spike slammed the front door shut as he walked out.

The school wasn’t very far from his house, only a couple blocks.

Stopping dead in his tracks, Spike saw the blond from yesterday walking timidly across the street. And she looked like she was…crying?

“Um…Buffy?” Spike asked, hoping he’d remembered her name correctly from yesterday as he ran up to her.

She jumped a little, but relaxed when she saw it was just the guy from yesterday. “You’re talking to me?” She asked with a raised eyebrow as she brought a hand up and casually wiped away a few tears.

“Seems that way, doesn’t it?”

She turned to send a mild glare his way and that’s when he noticed the odd-shaped purple bruise on her cheek. It was small, but still looked pretty nasty. “Bloody hell,” he exclaimed suddenly, stopping her to look at it closer.

Buffy was a little more than shocked to be standing there with Spike inspecting her cheek. Then she remembered the bruise there and abruptly jerked away.

“I’m fine,” she said defensively.

“I didn’t ask, pet,” he reminded her, implying that she was very well not okay.

“It’s just a bruise.”

“Yeah, that looks like the shape of a fist,” he said, getting annoyed. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she replied quietly, not able to come up with anything.

“You don’t…Bloody hell,” he trailed off and cursed.

Buffy was getting a little uncomfortable with how this conversation was going. “Don’t you have friends to get back to?” She asked, trying to sound impatient as they walked onto school grounds. “You wouldn’t want to be caught chatting it up with a loser like me.”

“Now hold on just a minute,” he demanded angrily. “Look, I may have the stereotype popular guy thing going on-”

“Full of yourself much?” Buffy had no idea where this was coming from. She hadn’t actually talked to people since the incident in LA.

“As I was saying, that doesn’t make me a soddin’ shallow jerk.”

Buffy just rolled her eyes, but immediately froze when Giles came walking up the sidewalk.

“What?” Spike asked, turning to see what was wigging her out. “Bloody hell…Dad! You couldn’t have just given me a soddin’ ride?”

“William,” at hearing his son’s growl, he cleared his throat. Turning to Buffy, Giles smiled and then looked concerned at the bruise on her face. “Buffy?”

“Hey,” she said cheerfully, ignoring his worried tone.

“What happened?”

“You know her?” Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.

Giles turned from Buffy to face his son and sighed. “I told you about that woman I bought the paintings from in LA…this is her daughter.”

Buffy had to keep in the tears just from hearing her mother mentioned. “Was…” Buffy managed to say in a weak voice. After clearing her throat, she spoke it in a normal voice. “Was my mother. She’s dead now remember?”

Spike’s eyes widened slightly, as did Giles’. How could she be so blunt about it like that?

But they just didn’t understand. It was so hard to hear other people talk about the death.

But if she spoke about it herself, then it was easier to control her emotions, especially when she closed herself up and said everything as if it were no big deal.

“I’m, uh…sorry to ‘ear that pet,” Spike said softly.

“Terribly sorry, Buffy, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Buffy shrugged it off. “But I need to go.”

Before either of them could protest, Buffy hurried away, walking straight past Willow and Xander, not wanting anymore questions.



As Buffy made her way to the lunchroom, she kept her eyes glued to the floor, hating it when people stared.

“So. You’re Buffy?” Harmony asked in a sneering voice as the other popular girls came to stand beside her. “Can we deal with your outfit for a moment?”

Buffy just rolled her eyes and continued walking toward the lunch line.

“Hey,” Parker said harshly, standing in front of her. “You were being talked to.”

“Yeah, until I walked away,” Buffy retorted with another eye roll.

Why can I stand up to these losers, but not my uncle?

“Hey, Parker. Wanna chill for a sec’ and back off?” Said a brunette as she strolled over. The girl was wearing black leather pants with a simple black v-neck shirt. “What’s your name?” She asked Buffy.

“Buffy,” she answered, suddenly shy again.

“Buffy. I’m Faith. These guys botherin’ you?” Before she could answer, Faith turned to Parker. “Look. I’m gonna take B here and you can stop with the stuck-up act before I kick your ass.”

Parker knew that Faith and her friends were the only ones that would actually take them in a fight and win, so he sent her a glare before walking off.

Sighing, Faith turned to Buffy. “Ouch. Nasty bruise. What happened?” Faith asked, eyeing the thing like it had grown its own head.

“Not important,” Buffy answered and looked over to see that Willow and Xander had already sat down. “Um…”

“Hey, come sit with us, alright. They’ll leave you alone now.”

Nodding, Buffy followed Faith to her table.

“So, B, what’s your story?” Faith asked while stuffing herself with the school sub.

“I’m from LA. Now I live here. That’s all you need to know.” She didn’t mean to snap so suddenly, but Faith didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seemed pleased.

“Well. Looks like Blondie does have some backbone,” Faith replied with a smirk. Buffy smiled a little in return. “So. What’s up with the baggy clothes? Not like you’ve got anything to hide.”

You have no idea…

“Always ask so many questions?” Buffy questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Just wonderin’. Hey, B, why don’t you let me give you a ride to my house tomorrow. We could get you all prettied up and take you to the Bronze.”

“Um…”

“Great. Tomorrow after school, meet me near the entrance.” Faith didn’t even wait for a reply as the bell rang.

Buffy sat there for a few minutes longer, knowing she’d be late for her next class.

She didn’t even realize she had pushed her sweatshirt sleeves up to reveal her bruises until she saw Spike glaring at her arms from across the lunchroom.

Without second thought, Buffy quickly stood up when she saw Spike approach her and she didn’t stop running until she was out of the school.

No one could know what was happening to her.

They would only try to stop the abuse from continuing.

She deserved it, though.

After what she did to her mother and sister…she deserved it.


(I bet it’s not what you’re thinking. Lol Review please. Spuffy encounter next chapter. Um, more Faith/Buffy friendship. I won’t be playing on the Willow/Xander/Buffy friendship for a while, just because it won’t work with everything I’m going to put Buffy through. Hehe…I’m evil. Review!)

Buffy was pretty sure that Spike wouldn’t follow her.

He was too cool to follow a geek who just ran out of the school, right?

“Bloody hell! Hold on!”

Wrong.

Sighing, Buffy stopped walking but didn’t turn around. When Spike finally caught up with her, he stood in front of her with a confused expression. Without warning, he lightly took her arm and rolled the sleeve up to reveal a few handprint-shaped bruises. “What is this?”

Buffy yanked her arm away, trying to pull something out of her brain. “I…um…”

“Don’t lie to me.” He sounded so firm and…caring? This just made Buffy even angrier.

“Why the hell do you care!” Spike was taken aback as he stared at the small blond that had just gotten the attention of half the students that were walking outside. “You don’t even know me! You’ve known me, what? Two days now? You think that gives you insight? You don’t. Even. Like. Me! So stop with the 'I care' act…and just…leave me alone!” When she’d finished with her little rant, she immediately walked away, thinking Spike would drop it.

Wrong again.

“Buffy,” he started, more softly this time.

“Stop it.” Her voice was low, but still demanding.

“Stop what?”

“Acting like you want to help, or that you care I’m hurting.”

“Are you hurting?” He questioned, trying to be clever in the way he got her to tell him what was going on.

But Buffy realized her slip up and didn’t even show emotion. “No.”

“Buffy…” After a sigh, he motioned for her to sit on the bench and he sat beside her. “I don’t know you…and if I was anything like my soddin’ ‘friends’, you’re right: I wouldn’t care. But I’m not them. You may not think highly of me, Princess, but I’m still the only one who’s sitting here trying to help you.”

Buffy realized he was right and gazed downward at her knees.

When she didn’t say anything, Spike continued. “I don’t know you,” he repeated. “But I don’t just stand by and watch people get hurt just because they aren’t as high on the popularity scale as I am.”

This earned a small smile from Buffy, which he returned.

“So, why do you?”

Spike was really confused. “Why do I what?”

“Hang out with those dorks you call friends?” She expected Spike to get mad and yell, but he didn’t. In fact, he laughed a little.

Buffy heard the tardy bell ring and realized they were the only students outside now.

“I don’t know,” he answered with a sigh. “They weren’t always like that. Gunn’s nice, though.”

“And hot,” Buffy added.

“Hey!” Spike tried to look offended, but couldn’t help but smile.

Buffy just shrugged with a smirk and sighed deeply. “We’re late.”

“Absent,” he corrected her.

“No, we can still-”

“Go out. You and me. Right now. Go get something for lunch.”

“We just had lunch.”

Spike raised his eyes at her. “Yeah, and you didn’t eat.”

“And how long have you been keeping tabs on me?”

“Since I saw that bruise on your cheek this morning.”

Buffy looked down to her feet at the seriousness of his tone. “I’m guessing that you’re not taking me out because you want to fill me up then,” she guessed, knowing he wanted to talk to her about her bruises.

“Well, that and…other things.” He looked down at her still uncovered arm and gave her a pointed look.

“Only if you can get me home on time. Angel and Darla don’t like it when I’m late.”

Spike just stared at her for a second and took a deep breath. “So, that’s the guy’s name? Angel?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Just wanted to know the name of the guy I’m going to have to kill,” he answered, only half joking.

He didn’t know why he cared so much.

Here he was chatting with a girl who he’d just met a day or so ago…and asking about her personal life.

He’d always been the type of person to care. When people needed help, he didn’t pass them by just because of their bad fashion sense or their social status. That had never been something to worry him.

But the friends he’d had since elementary school had suddenly become popular, so he found himself going with them.


---Later at lunch---

“So,” Spike said in-between mouthfuls. “Who are Angel and Darla?”

“You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“Nope.”

Sighing, Buffy chewed on a fry and then wiped her mouth. “My aunt and Uncle.”

“How long have you lived with them.”

“Not long. A couple weeks. Just since…what happened in LA.”

Spike eyed her for a second before continuing. “And what did happen in LA?”

Buffy nervously took a bite of her burger and shrugged. “N-nothing. Just…ya know, my mom and sister died is all.”

“Is all? Buffy…you say it like it’s not a big deal.”

“It is…a big deal. But it hurts to dwell, ya know?”

“So you’re not going to tell me what happened then?” When she shook her head ‘no’, he sighed and thought for a second. “Does he hit you?”

Buffy knew exactly what he was talking about. She didn’t want to open up like this to someone who was practically a stranger. But he did seem sincere about all this.

“No…not regularly. He only hit me once. But, I did something stupid, so I was pretty much asking for it.”

Spike looked a combination of pissed off and confused. “What could you possibly do that would make him hit you?”

“I…um, talked back…did the eye roll thing.”

“So, you acted like a normal teenage girl, so he backhanded you into a wall?” Buffy looked around to make sure no one heard his raised voice.

“No…I didn’t go into the wall.”

“Bloody hell, like that makes it any better!”

“Spike…”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Buffy.”

Sighing, Buffy leaned back. “Can I tell you something without your short temper getting in the way?” At his nod, she continued. “I don’t want you to worry. This isn’t your problem; it’s mine. So, just forget-”

“Are you completely daft?”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t lose your temper.”

“That’s before I knew what you were going to say. You need to tell someone.”

“I did tell someone. I told you.”

Sighing, Spike glared at her. “Someone who can stop the bas-”

“No…” Buffy’s almost inaudible whisper caused him to stop and turn to see what she was looking at. A young couple had just walked in the door, stumbling a little bit. The woman was blond and her male companion was a brunette.

“Is that-”

“Yes.” Spike had to ball his fists up to keep from going and pounding Angel’s head in now.

“Come on,” Spike took her hand, trying to walk them out without alerting her aunt and uncle.

Once outside, Spike felt Buffy’s hand trembling in his, so he turned her to face him. Tears were uncontrollably falling from her eyes in silent sobs. Without hesitation, he brought his arms around the upper part of her back holding her close.

“Oh, God…”

“It’s okay, luv, he didn’t see you.”

Buffy didn’t realize exactly how scared Angel made her.

“I want you to tell my dad,” Spike told her, pulling away slightly.

“I-I…”

“He doesn’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want him to. You can trust him, Buffy. But you need to let someone know.”

At Buffy’s nod, he took her hand and started walking her to her house. She’d have to tell Giles at school.

If it was this hard for her to go out to eat with a friend…she had no idea how she’d get out to the Bronze.

As they approached her house, Buffy stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the man waiting on the porch.

(I know, I’m evil. Lol. Shouldn’t be too incredibly hard to figure out who it is. Story will be getting better. The Bronze scene is going to change Buffy a lot…her attitude and behavior.)

“Buffy!” The man said cheerfully, acting as if nothing was wrong.

Spike, with a bewildered expression, turned to see the emotions playing across Buffy’s face, but he kept quiet.

As Buffy took a deep breath, she approached the man a little more. “Hey, Dad,” she said quietly, trying not to show how much she didn’t want him there.

“Oh, Buffy…it’s been so long.” With that he brought his daughter in for a tight hug that she didn’t return.

Buffy’s confusion and shyness was now replaced by anger and annoyance. “Gee, I wonder how many people have to say that to their daughters.”

“Buffy…you know I have to work.”

“Hmm…and how much does ‘working’ other secretaries pay now?”

“Buffy Anne Summers!”

“Oh, please. It’s only a warning when parents say their child’s full name.”

Hank had a mixture of hurt and anger on his face.

Spike was just staring wide-eyed at Buffy, wondering where the timid, broken girl from before had gone.

“Buffy…I came here to see how your living arrangements were. I know Darla and Angel aren’t the best guardians…but they treat you well, right?”

Buffy, instead of lying, answered his question with a question. “Why do you care?”

“I care.”

“You mean like you cared the time you walked out on Mom, Dawn and me?”

“We were getting a divorce, Buffy! I had to ‘walk out’!”

“Most parents who get divorces still find time to care for their kid.”

“I care!”

“Then why weren’t you at the funeral, Hank!?” Buffy’s face was now slightly tear-streaked. “Mom and Dawnie are dead! Where were you?! Don’t you dare tell me you loved Dawn or me. You don’t even know me anymore!”

Hank’s look hardened a little. “When will Angel and Darla be home?” He asked with a low voice.

“Whenever they get done drinking I suppose. But then they’ll want to give me my daily lecture. But they don’t like people to be around to watch that, so maybe you should come back around never.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Spike chose now to cut in. “It means she gets ab-” Buffy’s hand quickly clamped over Spike’s mouth.

“Nothing, Dad. It’s not like you’d care. I need to get inside before they get home.”

Without thinking, Buffy took Spike’s hand and led him in the house and up the stairs to her room. “Sorry ‘bout the mess. Don’t really ever have time to clean up. Ya know, with me always being in a rush to get out and whatnot.”

“Buffy…you could’ve told him.”

“Did you just sleep for the past ten minutes, or did you hear how much we hate each other?”

Defeated, Spike let out a sigh and sat on the edge of her bed. When he looked around the room, his concern grew a little. There were three identical pill bottles of something lying on the dresser, and there were four large knives on her vanity. “Buffy?”

Buffy had been straightening up a little, but now she turned to Spike. “Yes?”

“Want to explain?” He gestured toward the items in question and waited for reply.

“The knives? When Angel’s really wasted he ends up doing stupid things, so I took the really pointy items and put them out of his reach.”

“Uh huh. And the pills?”

“Painkillers.”

“Right, I get that. Why do you have three bottles of painkillers?”

“In case I run out…” She replied weakly, not making eye contact.

“And you realize I don’t believe that for a second?”

Sighing, Buffy sat down beside him, not looking up. “After the first time he left bruises on me…I brought three bottles in here, planning on…” She trailed off, hoping Spike knew what she meant.

“So, if you were planning on killing yourself,” he started bluntly, “then why are they still in here?”

“In case I ever decide I want to do it again,” she replied, a little self-resentment apparent in her voice.

He looked completely shocked for a moment, and then angry. After opening and closing his mouth a few times, Spike got up from the bed, taking the pill bottles with him. He then went into the adjoining bathroom and went through the medicine cabinet. When he came back, he had an armful of all different kinds of medicine. “Give me something to put these in.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m taking them with me,” he said a little coldly.

“You can’t do that! What if I need them!?”

“After your little admission over there…you can deal with it. Give me a bag.”

With a pout, Buffy gave him a plastic bag and he put all the bottles in there. Closing it up, he set the bag down so he wouldn’t forget it. “I don’t want to ever hear you say something like that again.”

“It’s not even like I really meant it.”

“Then don’t. Say. It.”

Nodding, Buffy sat down on the bed and looked at her clock. “My aunt and uncle’ll be home soon. You should go. Probably should sneak out the window to avoid a confrontation with my dad downstairs.”

---Next day---

Buffy slid the sweatshirt over her head and quietly walked out her bedroom door. On the way down the stairs, she was met with her father. “Morning, Buffy.”

“Morning, Hank.”

Angel, Darla, and Hank had had a conversation the night before, discussing everything except Buffy. Angel had offered Hank a room to stay in for the night, since Hank was his only brother.

Buffy didn’t even look back up at her father as she made her way to school.

---Later---

Things were going better than expected. Buffy hadn’t had any negative confrontations from any of the ‘popular’ teens, so she was doing alright.

But the lunch bell had just sounded so now she was walking through the double doors of the cafeteria. What she saw made her stop dead in her tracks.

Logan Matthews.

Part of the reason she could hardly stand to be alive.

He was a student in LA, but for some reason, he was now here.

And he was talking to Spike and his friends. Buffy could feel her fists clenching at her sides.

Before she had time to process her own thoughts, she had walked up and punched Logan from the side with every bit of strength she had, sending him to the floor.

The entire cafeteria became silent as they watched the small blond girl continue to get angry. When Logan looked up and saw who it was, his eyes widened and he quickly stood up. “Bitch.”

Spike just watched, not knowing what was going on, but ready to jump in if needed.

Logan threw his own punch, which Buffy managed to block, only to be hit by his other fist.

It only took a second for her to backhand him hard enough for him to go to the ground again. “I’m a bitch?” Pinning him down, Buffy punched him a few more times, making him too stunned to respond.

Finally, someone went to pull Buffy off, and she slung her fist back, hitting the teacher in the nose.

Now anyone was too scared to step in. “I. Hate. You!”

Logan caught her hands and pushed her off of him. “Yeah, and I hate you!”

“I didn’t ruin your life!”

“It wasn’t even my fault, Summers!”
This earned another punch into his jaw. “It wasn’t your fault?” She asked in a scratchy voice.

Logan smirked and leaned in a little. “I wasn’t the one driving the car.”

Before she could think, Logan had hit her once more, sending her back some.

Spike finally regained control over his thoughts and leaped from his chair. Pushing Logan away, deciding it was best to not keep this going, he just went over to Buffy. “Are you okay?”

“What the hell does it look like?” She asked coldly. But when she looked at him, her false facade began to die and a tear slid down her cheek.

Spike looked back at his friends who only looked confused, not angry, and then turned to Buffy.

“Come on, luv.” He led her out of the cafeteria and toward the library. “It’s about time you talked to him, pet.”


---An hour later---

Buffy walked out of the school, having just told Giles everything. She even told him details about LA that she hadn’t told anyone yet. He told her that he would be forced to let officials know if he found her with any more bruises.

“Hey, B. Took ya long enough. Get suspended?” Faith asked from the steps of the school.

“Hey, Faith. I think I might’ve. I haven’t heard yet. Guess I’ll find out.”

“Well you slugged the teacher pretty good. I’d say that gets you at least 3-5 stay-home days.”

Buffy smiled and walked toward Faith. “Come on, my car’s over here. We’ll head to my house then hit the Bronze.”

Faith’s small car pulled into the driveway of an apartment complex and then engine died down.

“We’re here,” the brunette announced as she shut the car door and walked towards the apartment. Buffy followed behind as Faith unlocked and opened the door.

The apartment was pretty beat up, but still kept up pretty well. When they got back to Faith’s room, the rebellious girl took out a cigarette. “Want one?” She asked.

“They’ll kill you ya know,” Buffy replied with a smirk.

“Haven’t killed me yet.”

“Guess you’re lucky.” Faith smiled and put the cigarette out.

“Fine, Princess. For you, I won’t smoke.”

“Really?”

“No. I just won’t smoke around you,” Faith replied with a sneer of her own.

Buffy felt herself laughing a little and sat down on the edge of the bed. It wasn’t a second later and Faith was off the bed and going through her closet. “Whatcha doing?”

“Getting you something to wear,” came Faith’s muffled reply. Buffy frowned a little and then realized that her sweatshirt/jeans combo wasn’t the best for a night out.

Faith emerged from the closet with a pair of black, leather pants, a red v-neck quarter-sleeve shirt, and a black, form-fitting jacket. “Should fit,” the teen said simply and threw it at Buffy, whose eyes were wide.

“You want me to wear this?”

“Yep. Put it on,” Faith ordered as she left the room so Buffy could change.

----

“Wow. Hot, B,” Faith complimented when Buffy emerged from the room.

“You sure? Not too slutty?”

Faith just smiled. “Slutty is the look we’re going for, Princess.” Buffy returned the grin.

What the hell. One night out. My dad’s in town anyway. It’s not like Angel will hurt me with Dad there.

---

Buffy and Faith had only been at the Bronze for about fifteen minutes and Faith informed Buffy that her other friends should be getting there soon.

When Faith told Buffy they should go dance, Buffy declined and went to the bar to get some drinks instead.

“Buffy?”

Buffy turned to the owner of the voice and smiled uneasily. “Cordelia, right?”

“Yeah. Wow. You look…”

“Different?” Buffy offered, feeling self-conscious now.

“Yeah. Looks good on you though. Bit hot in here for the jacket, though.”

Buffy couldn’t take off the jacket; that would show the bruises she definitely didn’t want anyone to see.

“I’m fine.” Buffy just eyed the girl carefully for a moment. “Is there a reason you’re talking to me? Oh, sorry…that sounded really rude. I just meant…well, last I check you and your friends don’t like me.”

“It’s not that we don’t like you. We’re just shallow,” Cordy said with a smile. Buffy let out a small chuckle. “Spike likes you though. Spike doesn’t just take up for every new kid that shows up at school. Don’t expect to sit at our table at lunch or anything…unless Spike wants you to. But we won’t give you a hard time.”

“Um…thanks?”

“Sure thing,” the brunette replied with a smile. It was then that Faith came up, breathing heavily.

“Man, B. You’ve got to get out here.” She eyed Cordelia and rolled her eyes. “Stay away from her, Cordy.”

“FYI, I was only making conversation. I’ll be going now. But Buffy, a bit of advice…stay away from Faith. She and her friends are nothing but trouble.” With that, Cordy walked off to sit at a table with her friends. All of them were there, even Spike.

“So, B, what about those drinks?” Faith said, forgetting all about Cordelia.

“Sure. What do you want?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll get the drinks. Why don’t you go get another table? I think someone snagged ours.”

“Sure thing.” Buffy went over and sat down at the only available table. Soon, a couple of Faith’s friends that buffy recognized came in. She smiled and waved them over.

“Hey, you’re Buffy, right?” A girl with short red-dyed hair asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m Kat. This is Taylor and Micha.” The girls sat down and gave Buffy a smile. “Where’s Faith?”

“Right here,” Faith replied, coming to the table. When she sat down, she brought a couple of beers up to the table.

“Ah, thanks,” Taylor said and took one.

“Um…Faith?” Buffy eyed the drinks.

“Don’t worry, Princess.” Faith put a Sprite on the table in front of Buffy. “Figured you’d want the boring stuff.”

Buffy still just sat there. She was tired of being careful and responsible. And she was tired of feeling broken all the time. Buffy pushed the Sprite aside and picked up a beer. “Whoa, B.” Faith stopped her from drinking it. “Look, Cordy wasn’t entirely wrong.” Faith knew that her and her friends did some bad things, but she didn’t want to bring Buffy down too.

“Doesn’t matter,” Buffy replied and took a long gulp of the alcohol. Faith gave her an uneasy smile, but drank her own anyway.

----Three hours later---

Buffy, Faith, and the others were laughing uncontrollably now. They’d each had more than they should’ve to drink and were beyond drunk now.

It was almost eleven, but the Bronze was still full of people.

“Faith.” The owner of the voice appeared behind Faith. He was one of the bartenders. “Look. I sneak you and your friends the alcohol because the owner is your cousin and doesn’t mind, plus you promise not to get drunk. You’re gonna make me lose my job.”

“Not only that. You could go to jail,” Buffy supplied in a slurring tone, taking another sip. “And you know what they say about guys in prison.”

The other girls at the table burst out laughing and the bartender looked uncomfortable. “Faith…”

“Relax. We won’t have anymore. These are our last ones. Tell Jerry-” the owner, and Faith’s cousin “-not to worry about it. No one’ll find out about him giving minors alcohol, alright. Now go. Shoo.”

He walked off, sighing and the girls started laughing again. Suddenly, Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder. “Huh?” She didn’t turn around, but looked at her shoulder. “What was that?” She asked, being to drunk to realize that a person was trying to get her attention.

“Buffy.” It was Cordy. Buffy turned around and smiled, almost falling from her stool.

“Oops.”

“Buffy…what are you doing?”

“More importantly, why do you care?” Buffy slurred out.

“Because I’ve known Spike since first grade. And he’ll care once he finds out.”

Buffy shrugged her off and was about to take another sip when the bottle was jerked from her hands. “Hey!”

She turned to the thief, ready to yell, but when she saw it was Spike, she only laughed. “This isn’t funny,” he informed her.

“Hmm…I thought it was,” she mumbled.

“How much have you had?”

Buffy started counting on her fingers. “A lot,” she answered when she gave up trying to find out how much she’d had.

He suddenly pulled her away from the table. “Bye-Bye,” she clumsily called to her friends as she was being pulled away. Spike turned her to face him and she felt dizzy. “Whoa…stop spinning.”

“I’m not spinning. You’re drunk.”

“Prove it.”

Frustrated, Spike let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a second. “What are you doing, Buffy?”

“Talking to you.”

“No. Why are you drinking?”

“Because it’s fun. Plus, it makes these stop hurting,” she replied cheerfully as she rolled up her jacket sleeve and revealed the bruises.

“Buffy…”

“No! You don’t get to tell me what to do. I have an aunt and uncle for that, remember?”

“And what are they gonna say when you walk in drunk?”

Buffy just started giggling again. “I doubt they’ll say anything…just kick me into a wall or something.” This made her laugh even more.

“Drinking isn’t going to make this go away.”

“Really?” She snorted and shook her head slightly. “Cause right now I’m drinking and everything’s perfectly fine.”

“Buffy…”

“No! I haven’t felt this way since the stupid car accident in LA!”

“Car accident?…oh, so that’s what happened in LA?”

“Yep. And now I’m fine. So…drinking is definitely of the good.”

“Yeah, until you stop drinking and get a pounding headache.”

“So, I won’t stop.”

“That’ll kill you, Buffy.”

“And would that be so bad?”

He sighed in frustration again but kept himself calm. “Come on,” he replied, taking her arm. When she winced in pain, he realized that he must’ve grabbed a bruise. “Oh, Buffy…I’m sorry.”

She shrugged it off, walking out the doors as he followed her. “No big deal. Not like you put the bruises there in the first place.”

---

By the time they reached Buffy’s house, Buffy was twirling herself in little circles and singing her ABC’s. “Luv, we’re here,” Spike said softly, but glad that he only saw her father’s car, not her uncle’s.

“Oh, yay,” she said sarcastically. “Well, Spike…thanks for the ride,” she said.

“Pet, we walked here.”

“Oh, right. Thanks for…walking me here then.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I’ll come by and give you a ride to school.”

He waited until she’d walked in the door to start walking toward his house.

Tomorrow should be interesting…

When Buffy had gotten inside the door the night before, she was too drunk to think to look for Angel, Darla or her father. Luckily, none of them were there. Hank, Angel, and Darla had gone out late in Angel’s car the night before.

When Buffy woke up, she almost cried out at the headache she was having. She’d gotten up to throw up a few times in the past hour, so she figured it was out of her system.

To get rid of her headache, Buffy went to her bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet.

And it was empty.

That’s when she remembered that Spike had taken all her medicine. “Damn,” she muttered and went to her room.

Even though her head was pounding, Buffy managed to get ready. The odd thing was that she wasn’t dressed in her usual sweatshirt and jeans. Today she had on a pair of nice jeans, a white clingy shirt, the black jacket Faith had let her borrow, and a pair of her black boots.

She let her hair down, the natural waves falling over her shoulders and framing her face.

For once in a long time, she was happy with the way she looked when she left he house.

And for the first time, she left the house without a confrontation from her dad, uncle, or aunt.

Today was good.

“BEEP!”

Ow…except for her raging headache.

Buffy walked toward the car near the road that had just honked. “Morning,” Spike said as she climbed in.

“Yeah. Same to you.”

“Someone’s not in a good mood,” he replied with a smirk.

“Yeah, well, someone just spent the entire of last night drinking into oblivion,” she reminded him.

“Speaking of which…” He fumbled around in his book bag, coming up with bottled water and two aspirin. “Thought you might appreciate it.”

Gratefully, Buffy took the medicine, feeling her headache calming a little bit. “Thanks.”

“Want to talk about last night?” He asked as they approached the school.

“Not really.”

“Buffy…”

“Look. I can make my own decisions, okay?” When the car parked, she undid the seatbelt, but Spike leaned across her and held the door handle.

“Buffy?”

She just looked at him, feeling like she couldn’t breathe because he was so close. “Yes?”

He just looked at her for a second. “You look really nice today, luv,” he replied with that familiar smirk. He then got out of the car and started walking toward the school without another word.

Buffy let out the breath she’d been holding and watched his retreating form. “No, my life isn’t complicated,” she mumbled to herself before exiting the car.

Catching up with Spike, neither acknowledged what happened in the car. But the silence wasn’t uncomfortable either.

“Hey, B!” Buffy turned toward Faith’s voice and smiled.

As Faith began to approach, Spike turned to Buffy. “I’m not sure I like you hanging out with her…Buffy…her and her friends, they…”

“Do illegal crap and have the time of their lives? I know.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.” He sounded frustrated, so Buffy didn’t interrupt. “She’s the reason you were drinking last night.”

“No, actually, she tried to stop me. It was my choice. Don’t blame her.”

Faith finally got to them and smiled at Buffy. “So, B, how’s that head of yours.”

“Better,” she replied. When Spike waved to her and started walking off, she gave him a smile and waved also.

“Good to know. You really can’t hold your alcohol, Princess,” Faith sneered playfully.

“Hey, it was my first time drinking.” Faith raised an eyebrow and smiled again.

When Kat, Taylor and Micha all pulled up in Kat’s car, Faith sighed. “I’ll talk to ya later, B. Maybe we can Bronze it again soon.” She started walking away, but then turned to face the blond teen. “Oh, and Buffy? Keep the jacket. Looks better on you anyway.”

Buffy smiled and nodded a thanks as she went into the school.

---Just a few minutes later---

“Buffy, how are you?”

“Good, Giles. You?”

“I’m fine. There’s something we need to talk about…”

Buffy froze. If she got suspended, her uncle would use that as ammo against her. “Oh…”

“Calm down, Ms. Summers. I managed to cut you some slack with the principal. Because of what happened with Logan in Las Angeles, there won’t be a suspension. It’s a warning. That’s all.”

“Hold up. I screwed a kid’s face up and almost knocked out a teacher…and I get a warning?” Giles nodded with a slight smile at her wording. “Ah! I love you!” She enveloped the older man in a hug before running out and to her next class.

---Biology, a few hours later---

“Honors system,” the teacher replied after handing out the tests. He had to leave for a few minutes and expected his students not to cheat.

Not less than ten seconds of him being out the door, a note was flicked onto Buffy’s desk. Slowly, she opened it.

Buffy,
How’re things going with your uncle? Anything I should know about?

-Spike
P.S. What’s the answer to number 3?

Buffy smiled and wrote him back and threw it back at him as she got back to work on her test.

Hey,
Not any better…but not any worse. I can’t really tell. I haven’t talked to him since yesterday, really. And…he won’t do anything when my dad is there. BTW, Hank’s leaving this afternoon. Before I get home I think. So, hope Angel’s in a good mood.

-Buffy
P.S. You’re smarter than I am!…but, um, now that you mention it…what is the answer?

When Spike read it, he smirked a little and tossed the note back when he was done.

If that git tries anything, Buffy…we’re going to have to let people know. You don’t deserve this. (I think it might be…C.?)

Buffy quickly replied, not liking where the conversation was going.

I deserve it more than you may think. Don’t worry, though. He can’t hurt me too much. (Hmmm…C…sounds right. Thanks.)

Spike wrote quickly, hoping to finish this discussion before the teacher got back.

And when are you going to tell me about the mysterious LA incidents that left you thinking you deserve to be hit?

When he got his answer back, he smiled softly in her direction.

Soon enough…when I’m ready.

They both began working on their tests when Faith came to the classroom window and opened it. “Hey, B.”

“Faith?”

“Yep. Hey, Blondie,” she waved in Spike’s direction. Spike waved, but still glared in her direction.

“So, Princess, Kat and the others want to know if you wanna go have some fun?”

“You mean as in skipping?” Willow asked timidly from the seat behind Buffy.

“Yeah, as in skipping,” Faith replied with the roll of her eyes. “You in?”

Buffy looked over in Spike’s direction. His pissed off look told her she had better not go.

“Yeah, I’m in,” she answered, getting up from her seat before Spike could protest.

“Sweet,” was Faith’s reply as Buffy climbed from the window and the ran toward the parking lot.

With four hours left before they were supposed to be home, they had plenty of time.

A/N: Okay. Now, the next chapter is going to be mostly Faith and Buffy’s day out. But, it’s going to be sort of dark, and a more weak and stupid side of Buffy is going to show through. So, just warning you.

Kat adjusted the rear-view mirror in her car and put the car in reverse to back out of the school parking lot. Within seconds, the group was speeding off.

“Gotta tell you, B, I didn’t think you had it in ya,” Faith said from the front seat as she turned to look at Buffy.

Buffy was still unsure about all this, but she didn’t let it show.

Ever since the incident in LA, she’d kept to herself, and was afraid to go out to do anything.

But she was so sick of being the freaking responsible one.

Why be responsible when she’d only get punished by her uncle anyway?

She might as well give him a reason to hit her since he was doing it anyway.

“So, where’re we headed?” Kat asked everyone in the small vehicle.

“Willy’s place,” Taylor suggested and Faith thought for a second.

“Guys, I don’t know. Justin and Scott’ll be there,” Faith reminded them.

“Which is why I’m suggesting it,” Taylor replied, annoyance evident in her tone.

It wasn’t that Faith didn’t want to go. Of course she did. She just didn’t want Buffy going. Justin and Scott were not good people. And whenever Faith and her gang hung around them, they became ‘not good people’ too.

With a sigh, Faith nodded. “Bring it on,” she sighed.

---Few minutes later---

“Girls!” Willy greeted from the bar cheerfully. When he spotted Buffy, he smiled. “So, who’s the new kid.”

“Willy, this is Buffy. B, this is Willy.” Buffy nodded toward him, feeling a little uncomfortable being in here.

“The boys are in the back, if you’re looking for them,” Willy announced and then went to his next costumer.

When the group reached the back, Buffy immediately tensed. There were four guys in addition to needles, weed, and pills.

Didn’t take a genius to figure out they were high.

“Kat!” One of the boys greeted, and the said girl went and sat by him. “Oh, who’s the new girl?”

“Buffy,” Buffy answered without wavering.

The girls all had a seat, Buffy sitting in her own chair. Something in her head was telling her she shouldn’t have come, but she moved that thought aside.

When Buffy looked up, she had to retrain her eyes from popping out of her head. Kat, Taylor, and Micha were each taking some form of the drugs in front of them.

Faith however, wasn’t, which Scott noticed.

“Come on, Faith. What’s your deal today?”

Faith just shook her head ‘no’, and leaned back in her chair.

Scott then turned to Buffy, offering the stuff Faith had just turned down.

Buffy scared the hell out of herself when she didn’t answer, but just eyed the substance for a moment. Her mind was screaming at her to say ‘no’ and leave. But for some reason, she was actually considering.

Well, until she heard Faith’s voice. “No way, Princess. I let you get away with drinking last night. But you are definitely not going this far.”

Buffy just stared at the brunette teen. “But-”

“No ‘buts’. Period, B.”

Buffy was in a way grateful that Faith was a good enough friend to stop her from doing bad things. But for some reason, Buffy couldn’t push away the thoughts that wished Faith hadn’t said anything.

---A few hours later---

The girls were leaving, about to go back to school. As Buffy was walking out, Scott pulled her aside. “Hey.”

“Um, hi?”

“Listen…if you ever need anything without Faith holding you back…” He trailed off and handed her a piece of paper.

---3:15pm. School is just being let out---

As Spike exited the school, he immediately looked for Buffy. He’d been absolutely apprehensive all day long. Finally, he spotted Kat’s car pulling up and a amused Buffy stepping out. She waved goodbye to them as they pulled away.

“Have fun?” Buffy heard an irate voice ask from behind her.

Whirling around, Buffy narrowed her eyes. “As a matter of fact, I did.”

“You’re lucky that the teacher didn’t come back ‘til the end of class. Otherwise, you would’ve been caught.”

Buffy sighed and shrugged. “So what. I had fun.”

“So, that means…” He trailed off as he took a step forward. “Summers, I want a quick explanation of why I can suddenly sense pot.”

“As in the drug?”

“Yes you stupid bint, as in the drug!”

“Calm down. I didn’t take anything, I swear, alright? We went to Willy’s and a couple of guess were doing all kinds of crap.”

Spike just stared at her with a mixture of anger and disbelief. “Don’t go there again, Buffy.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she demanded in a warning tone. “I didn’t do a thing but have fun with my friends, so back off.”

---Buffy’s house---

Buffy sat in Spike’s car in her driveway. After a short argument, Spike had offered her a ride back home.

“Hey, Buffy…sorry about earlier. I just…I get worried.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do.”

Buffy turned to face him and saw the look of concern on his face. “I need to go.”

Before he had a chance to reply, Buffy hopped out of the car and raced toward her house.

And the second she had the door closed, she felt the familiar, hard grip on her arm wrench her from her standing point.

“Ow, Angel, stop!” He pushed her roughly away, causing her to hit the wall.

“Don’t tell me what to do! I just got a call from the damn school saying you got into a fight yesterday!” Buffy wasn’t expecting the next punch, but cried out when it connected with her jaw. “Do you have any idea how that makes me look?”

“About as good as it looks when your niece is abused!” She retorted angrily and pushed him away from her. Angel pushed her harder before backing up.

“Go to your room.”

Not wanting to get into another fight, Buffy did as told.

---Buffy’s room---

She couldn’t get herself to stop crying as she looked at her new bruises in the mirror.

This had to end.

One way or another.

The pain just needed to stop.

That’s when Buffy remembered the piece of paper Scott had given her.

Taking it from her jeans pocket, Buffy unfolded the paper that held the phone number on it.

The pain just needed to stop…

A/N: I will update my other stories today as well, no worries!! Well, read on…oh, and review. Or I’ll kick your butt. :P lol. Just remember that I live on reviews. If you don’t feed them to me…I’ll die. And then this story will never get finished. So, review please!


Red lights flashed throughout the dark city street as the ambulance made its way to the Sunnydale Hospital, carrying the young woman patient.

When she was finally wheeled into the emergency room, doctors rushed around, trying to find out what was wrong.

“Name?” One doctor asked a physician who had brought her in.

“Buffy Summers,” he replied as the said unconscious girl was pushed into a room.

---Flashback, a few hours ago---

“Hey, Scott,” Buffy said shyly, walking up to the ally behind Willy’s. “I-I’m not sure what I’m doing here…”

“Sure you are. You’re in pain. You want it to stop, right?”

Buffy’s eyes glazed over with sadness. “More than you know.”

“Come on.”

Scott led her inside, setting her down in a chair. After she’d been injected, she’d seemed okay for a few minutes.

But soon, she’d began to clutch at her head, complaining about the pain, her breathing was getting short, and was also getting dizzy.

Willy had come back and had no choice but to call the police when Buffy went unconscious.

---End of flashback---

---Hospital, five hours later---

Buffy sat in her hospital room, barely able to hold herself up. As she sat emotionless, propped against her pillows, a nurse came into the room.

“Ms. Summers?”

Buffy simply looked up, not saying anything. “Do you remember much?”

Buffy remembered going to Scott…but not much after that. Shaking her head ‘no’, Buffy looked down again.

“You were found with a large dose of cocaine in your system, Ms. Summers. We believe that you’re going to be okay, but there’s always risks of…” Buffy didn’t even continue to listen as the nurse babbled on and on. Finally, Buffy looked back up. “It’s getting close to 3 in the morning, Buffy. Is there a guardian we could call?”

There was no way in hell she would give them the names of her aunt and uncle. She wanted Spike and Giles to be there. But they would see the new bruises from her uncle, and she couldn’t have that.

“F-faith,” Buffy answered shakily. “Faith Sheldon.”

“Is that a friend of yours?” Buffy nodded. “Miss, we need the name of a guardian…”

“Bring her, or get the hell out.” The nurse was a little shocked, but nodded. Buffy felt bad for snapping at the woman who was only doing her job. “Hey, get her here…I’ll give you the names you need after I see her, okay?” The nurse seemed happier, so she left the room to call Faith.

---An hour or so later---

Faith cautiously walked into the hospital room, seeing Buffy asleep on the hospital bed. She held her breath as she made her way to the small blond.

“Faith?” Buffy asked as she opened her eyes.

“Oh, God…I’m so sorry, B--Buffy…I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’m the one who took you there. Damn it, Buffy, I told you to stay the hell away from that stuff.”

“Faith…” Buffy seemed to be a little distressed, but the other teen didn’t notice.

“I mean it, B-”

“No. Faith, I…” The steady beeping on the monitor became frantic as Buffy’s eyes rolled shut.

---Sunnydale High---

The bell for first period was ringing as Faith sat on the floor against the wall with her knees pulled to her chest. She was shaking and had tears in her eyes, but no one saw because they were in their classes.

The doctors had assured Faith that they would get Buffy stabilized, and that the best thing to do would be to go to school, and come back later.


As Spike walked down the hallway, he saw the familiar brunette crying up ahead. He’d been looking for her anyway. When Spike had gone to pick up Buffy that morning, she hadn’t been there.

“Faith?” She looked up at him, but didn’t say anything. Spike knelt down in front of her. “What’s wrong, luv?”

“Sh-she’s…oh, God…it’s my fault, Spike…”

“Buffy?”

Faith nodded her head and worry spread throughout Spike. “What’s wrong with her?”

“She…I don’t even know. All the doctors told me that she had gotten into illegal drugs at Willy’s bar…She wouldn’t have gone if I hadn’t taken her there…”

Spike felt like screaming, but he knew Faith felt bad enough. “Is she okay?”

“She went unconscious…and then they made me leave. God, Spike…she was just laying there. I made her like that…”

Faith seemed so broken that Spike pulled her into a comforting hug. “I can’t ever be like that…I…I don’t wanna die, Spike…”

“Then you’re going to have to get help, okay?” She just looked down, but nodded slightly. “Come on, let’s go see her.”

---Hospital, short time later---

“I wanna see her,” Spike said calmly for the third time.

“And I told you, no visitors until she gives us the names of her guardians. They need to come in and sign some paperwork.”

That was when Giles stepped in. His son had called him just as they arrived at the hospital. Rupert hated to do this…but he knew he had to. “I’ll give you the names you need along with the correct phone numbers if you let my son in to see him.”

The doctor reluctantly agreed as Spike rushed past him toward Buffy’s room.

When he got to the room, Buffy was laying down with her head propped up somewhat. There was no emotion on her face, and she looked mostly dead.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Spike walked over beside her and took one of her hands. “Hey.”

Buffy didn’t even move for a few moments, but finally, she turned her head to look up at him, still not saying anything.

“How’re you doing, luv?”

Buffy blinked a few times and her grip on Spike’s hand tightened as tears threatened to fall. “It hurts so much…”

Spike cringed and sat down in the chair next to the bed, still holding her hand. He felt his eyes watering up, and kept wondering why he was getting so worked up over a girl he’d only met a week or so before.

Just because she was a friend. Not because he was attracted to her in any other way. Of course not…

“Why’d you do it, Buffy?”

“To make it stop.”

“To make what stop?”

“The hurting, the memories, the stupid freaking bruises on my arms!”

Spike looked down and saw the new bruises on her lower and upper arms and felt a wave of anger wash over him. And then he noticed for the first time, the large bruise on her jaw. Swallowing his anger, he calmed down. She needed comfort now.


“Buffy…I want to help, but I don’t even understand what’s wrong.”

She didn’t say anything for a full five minutes and it was starting to scare him. Finally, she took a deep breath and began to talk. “It was two months ago,” she started, not looking at him. “Mom was driving us home from the store. Dawnie, my little sister sat in the back seat and I was sitting up front. It was getting pretty dark so I looked at the car clock and I still remember that it said 7:04. Mom stopped the car on the side of the road and asked me if I wanted to drive the rest of the way home. I had driven before, but not very much. Still, I was really excited, so I switched places with my mom.

“It was getting sort of dark, but mom didn’t seem to care. So I was driving down the road, and mom kept telling me how good I was doing.” Buffy paused and swallowed the large lump in her throat. “Logan and his friends were driving drunk down the road. I saw them ahead, but they were on their side of the road, so I kept driving. Then…right as they were about to pass us, Logan got a bit dizzy and plowed into the front end of our car. Dawn hadn’t been wearing her seatbelt and the impact was just to much for mom.”

Spike stared at her, concern, shock, and anger evident on his face. “Buffy…I…”

“Ya know what makes my heart hurt even more? Mom and Dawnie were all broken and you could hardly recognize them…I walked away with a few bruises. It’s not fair…”

Spike stood from the chair and quickly wrapped his arms around her as her tears started to fall. “Why wasn’t it me instead of them?” She sobbed as she clung tightly to his shirt.

He pulled her back slightly so that she could look at him. “Buffy, the accident was not your fault. You don’t deserve to be punished, okay?” Buffy only shook her head violently.

“No! The crash happened less than a block from my house, Spike! If Mom hadn’t stopped to let me drive, we would’ve made it home before we caught up with those guys! O-or if I had just driven a bit faster instead of 5 miles below the speed limit!” She was crying again as Spike put his arms back around her.

“Buffy?” A familiar female voice said from the doorway. When Spike and Buffy turned, they saw Darla standing there with wide eyes.

She’d obviously heard the whole thing.

But what caught Buffy’s eye was the fact that Darla was near tears. Before Buffy could ask what was wrong, Darla turned from the room and hurriedly went out into the hallway.

“Do you want to talk to her?” Spike asked, and to her own surprise Buffy nodded.

As Spike was walking out the door, her voice stopped him. “Spike?” She paused for a second, trying to build up her courage. “I think I might really like you,” she said with a smile.

Spike turned completely and walked toward her. When he reached her side, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss, lasting only a few moments. “I think I might really like you too, Summers,” he replied with a hint of a smirk before turning to go get Darla.

As Darla entered the room, Buffy just took in the older woman for a moment.

Darla seemed a little frailer than she ever had. The woman’s body was shaking slightly and she looked as if she’d been sleep deprived for over a week. “Hi, Buffy.”

“Sit,” Buffy ordered a little harshly. “Since it looks like you’re sober, I want to talk.”

Darla nodded and shakily went to sit in the chair. “Buffy…”

“Wow…do you realize this is the first time I’ve seen you sober since I was five?” Buffy stated with coldness in her voice.

“I know, sweetie, I…”

“Don’t you call me that. You lost the right to call me ‘sweetie’ and ‘pumpkin’ a long time ago.”

Darla nodded. “I’ve made mistakes, I know, Buffy. I haven’t been in the right frame of mind for a long time now.”

“Gee, ya think? I get pounded by your husband and you laugh.”

“Buffy…”

“You’re a bitch. I hope you know that.” Buffy had her arms crossed over her chest defiantly and was staring at Darla with a cold look.

“I know,” Darla admitted softly. “And I still have some problems…I know.”

Buffy’s gaze softened slightly. “So what happened? I mean…why the sudden change of heart?”

There was a long silence, and Buffy didn’t know if the older woman would actually answer. The blond teen was actually feeling a little sorry for being so harsh. Darla really did look sorry…and obviously very upset.

“I’m pregnant,” Darla said quietly, tears springing to her eyes.

“What?”

“I was getting sick…I passed out at in bar and they took me to a hospital. The doctor said I was two months pregnant…Oh, God…Buffy…I’ve been drinking so long, they don’t even know if the baby’s going to make it!” Darla paused to blink back her tears. “Angel will kill me if this baby doesn’t make it, Buffy…”

Buffy’s eyes were slightly wide and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. “Darla…” Buffy started. “What happened to you and Angel to make you like this? Drinking and getting high all the time?”


Darla stayed silent for a long while. “It was 12 years ago…when you were five. I got pregnant. Angel and I…we were happy. Really happy. We wanted to name it Connor if it was a boy, and Jessie if it was a girl.”

Buffy just stared in awe, not saying anything. “And what happened?”

“I…I was straining myself all the time…I…I fell one day. I don’t really remember details.” The older blond paused for a long time. “I remember every single moment of them telling me that my baby didn’t make it, though.”

“I…” Buffy was cut off though.

“So…Angel and I…we were upset for a long time. He started drinking more and more…and the only way I felt close to him was if I drank too. Eventually, the drinking got worse. The drugs started…and we both felt emotionless all the time.” She paused. “We didn’t want to feel again, because we didn’t want to remember the pain.”

Buffy had no clue what to say, how to comfort, or what she was supposed to do. She finally understood it.

Of course, that didn’t give them right to treat her as they did. But now she understood.

“Darla…”

“Have we hurt you a lot, Buffy?” Buffy felt her own tears at the weakness and sincerity in her aunt’s voice.

“Well…no,” Buffy said truthfully. “I…it hurts that I can’t be loved here. It hurts that I lost my mom and it’s my fault. But as far as physical pain? It hasn’t been too bad.”

“I’m…I can’t even say I’m sorry, Buffy…Sorry isn’t enough. I…”

Both continued to sit in the silence as they let the sadness wash and settle over them.

---Next day---

Spike had been told along with Giles, that they should head home with the knowledge that Buffy was going to be okay.

Now a shaky Darla, and a somewhat sober Angel stood in the waiting room talking to a doctor. Darla had convinced Angel not to drink for at least half a day. That way he wouldn’t be picking Buffy up drunk.

“Now, understand that Buffy may be feeling sick these next few days. This is her first offense. It’s going to be left up to you how she is punished. If you think she needs drug rehab, we could help you with her treatment. But, if you don’t believe it’s necessary, that’s fine. But, understand that if she takes illegal drugs again, the law will take care of her.”

Darla nodded and spoke before Angel could. “Thank you.” As the doctor nodded and walked away, Buffy slowly walked up to her guardians.

“Well. If it isn’t the little druggie,” Angel replied with an roll of his eyes. “So, why’d you do it?”

Buffy got the courage to glare up at him. “You asshole.” There was more seething hatred in these two words than she had ever spoken to anyone. “You know damn well what was wrong with me.”

Angel, being as sober as he was at the moment, was a little taken back. “Now--”

“Shut. Up.” Buffy pushed open the doors of the hospital as the two adults followed her out. “I’m tired. You can beat me up later for this,” she told him bluntly as they all got in the car.

Angel turned around in the front seat. He really didn’t remember what happened from day to day. He did remember vaguely, hurting Buffy. “Beat you up?” He asked, slightly annoyed.

“Gee, Darla. He’ll make a great father for your child won’t he?” Buffy had purposely brought it up, seeing it as the only way to get Angel to think about what he was doing.

With slightly shocked eyes, Darla turned to face Angel, giving him all the proof he needed that Buffy had told the truth. “You’re…”

“Pregnant. Yes,” Darla finished, avoiding eye contact of anything that resembled her husband’s eyes.

“I…when were you going to tell me?”

“The…I may lose the child.”

Angel tensed and seemed to anger at this. “You will not, you little-”

“Angel, if one more word comes from your mouth, you’re going to know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a fist,” Buffy assured him, sitting up straighter in her seat. “You’re the reason she goes out drinking all the time. You’re the reason you both do drugs. If she loses the baby, it’s as much your fault as it is hers.” She suddenly threw the car door open and stepped out slowly. “Jackass,” she muttered under her breath before slamming the door shut.

Turning, she started walking down the sidewalk, away from the house. It wasn’t long before Angel’s car pulled up beside her. “Get in the car,” he told her angrily. The only reason Buffy looked over was because she heard tears in his voice. Sure enough, the older man’s cheeks were tear-stained.

“Go home, Angel. Take care of Darla. Do your wife and child a favor and don’t drink.”

She continued walking and Angel kept the car going with her speed. “Bitch, I said to get in the car.”

Buffy don’t know what came over her, but she turned angrily toward her uncle. “No! If you think you have any say in what I do, you’re wrong! If I’m going to get hit anyway, I might as well enjoy myself. Stay the hell away from me. I’ll be home later.” When she was sure she’d gotten her point across, Buffy continued walking.

Angel turned the car around suddenly, grumbling inaudibly to Buffy as she continued walking the other way.

---Next day---

Buffy hadn’t actually gotten home until after a long walk, around eleven.

She’d walked through that front door expecting many things. Darla asleep on the couch, her head on Angel’s shoulder, as Angel sat there looking lost was not one of them.

For a moment, Buffy just stared at the two on the couch as Angel finally looked up to see that she’d walked in. The teen didn’t send him glares of anger or hatred, only of subtle sympathy and understanding.

“Buffy…” He’d whispered softly. But he hadn’t said another word. He kept wondering how he’d gotten where he had. His memories kept running through his mind: memories about a five-year-old Buffy sitting on his lap at Christmas. Joyce would be there too, laughing along with whatever was going on.

And now he was a lowlife drunk that beat his niece and couldn’t go three hours without getting drunk.

“Good-night, Angel,” Buffy had said in a calm voice after a while and walked up to her room.

Now she was at her locker, frantically trying to find her history book. “Aha,” she muttered as the book was found.

She’d been ignoring the looks she was getting from fellow students all day. News traveled fast in this town, and it was no surprise that half the school knew that she’d been overdosed on illegal drugs.

“Buffy!” She heard the familiar voice and smiled when Spike ran up to her. “You’re okay,” he stated.

“Obviously,” she replied with a smile and accepted the friendly hug he was giving her.

“So, you’re okay?”

“No,” Buffy answered truthfully. “But…I will be.”

The two shared a brief smile that was quickly interrupted by Giles frantic voice. “Oh, good. You two are together,” he exclaimed as he stood by them.

“What is it, Giles?” Buffy asked with concern.

“It’s Faith.”

Those two words. Buffy felt her entire world freeze for a moment. Even though it only took the older man another second to explain what had happened, she felt like everything was happening too slowly.

Sure, she hadn’t known Faith that long. But there was a sisterly kind of bond that she’d felt with Faith. It was the same kind of bond she’d always felt with Dawn.

“She’s just been taken to the emergency room,” Giles finished.

And if Buffy’s world hadn’t fallen before, it was sure crumbling now.

10:00pm

And nothing had changed.

Buffy, Spike, and Giles sat in the waiting room of the hospital, each with grim looks on his or her face.

As soon as Giles had told them the news, the three had rushed to the hospital, and had been waiting for a change in Faith’s critical condition since.

Faith had felt so guilty about Buffy taking drugs that the brunette had gone out and gotten drunk.

In a moment of drunken ignorance, the young teen had gotten in the car to drive home.

Before she made it three blocks from the bar, she ran off the road and into a tree.

Now the three were just waiting. Waiting for a doctor to give them the news: good or bad.

“Mr. Sheldon?” A doctor asked as he appeared in the doorway.

Giles stood up and walked over. “We couldn’t find Faith’s father,” Giles explained. “Is Faith okay?”

The doctor hesitated as Spike and Buffy stood up, walking over to them. “Is she?” Buffy asked, near tears again.

“She’s alive. Still in a bad condition…but we’ve done all we can. Would any of you like to see her?”

“Buffy…you can go first,” Spike said suddenly, knowing she’d want to. The blond teen surprised him by giving him a caring hug. Smiling, she pulled away and walked with the doctor to Faith’s room.

And there she lay. Asleep on the cold hospital bed, looking battered and bruised.

Walking slowly, Buffy went to Faith’s sleeping form and ran a hand through the resting girl’s hair. “Faith…what did you do?” Buffy cursed herself for the tears that were falling. “It wasn’t your fault that I went back to get the drugs. God, Faith…I know I haven’t known you long…but God, you remind me so much of my Dawnie. I needed her…and then you came. If you die…” Buffy’s hand flew to her mouth the second these words had left.

With wide eyes she shook her head violently and started backing up.

Only to find herself backed into a large figure. Turning around, she found herself in the comfort of Spike’s arms as he tried to sooth her. “Oh, God…Spike…please don’t let her die!” Spike cringed and held his eyes shut at the agony he heard in her voice.

“Sshhh, it’s okay,” he soothed. “Come on, pet.”

Keeping an arm wrapped around her, Spike slowly walked her out of the room.

---

Giles had finally dropped Buffy off at her house when she assured him that her uncle wouldn’t be a threat.

Walking through the front door, Buffy locked it behind her and went to the kitchen.

There was no way she could sleep tonight.

---
A few hours later Angel woke, feeling sick. He had for a few days now. He hadn’t touched alcohol since he heard the news about Darla’s pregnancy, and it had been making him pretty sick.

Getting out of bed, he tried to calm his shaking down as he walked to the lower floor of the house and to the kitchen. And he froze slightly when he saw the blond teenager crying at the counter. “Buffy?”

Shooting her head up, Buffy quickly wiped her tears. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t. What are you doing up?” Buffy was very surprised at the lack of coldness in his voice.

“Um…just something that happened…it wouldn’t matter to you.”

Angel knew he deserved that blow, so he masked the amount of hurt he felt, by sighing and sitting at the counter also. “Wanna try me?”

“Faith…a friend of mine. She’s hurt.”

“What happened?”

“Car wreck,” Buffy answered bitterly. Angel winced at her tone, knowing what was bothering her. Her mom and sister died in a car crash, and now she might lose her best friend. “That’s the second time I’m responsible for a car crash.”

“How are you responsible?”

“She went out and got drunk because of what I did. I took drugs; she felt guilty. She got drunk and crashed.”

“And you really think you’re to blame for it?”

Buffy sent him a cold glare before returning her stare to the counter.

“You think you’re to blame for your mother’s and sister’s deaths also?” He asked.

Buffy shot her eyes toward him in a death gaze and nodded her head slowly. “I know that I am. But don’t you dare mention my mother’s name again. You don’t deserve to even think about her.”

Standing up, the angry teen slammed the barstool back into its place and hurried up the stairs.

---

Buffy walked into the lunchroom the next day, gaze downward as it had been all day. Before she even had a chance to look up, she felt a strong grip on her upper arms.

“Hey, Spike,” she mumbled weakly as she looked up again. As he enveloped her in a hug, she gulped back her tears.

“How are you doing?” He asked her once he’d pulled away.

“Better…but…still not good.”

Giving her a knowing smile, he tucked some hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to hang with me just because of Faith,” Buffy said weakly.

“What?”

“You know…you don’t have to be seen with me here at school just because of what happened.”

“Buffy…” He lifted her chin up firmly with his hand. “I’m not doing this because of pity. Besides…my friends don’t mind. That’s what they are. Friends.”

“Why are you doing it then?”

“Because…” Spike had to stop himself from finishing. Because he realized he was about to say ‘because I care a lot about you’, or ‘I may like you more than I thought’, or something like that.

He knew that he shouldn’t feel this way about a girl he’d only met a few weeks ago, but he couldn’t keep these feelings down.

But he felt something more than just ‘like’ or lust.

But he was too young to really love…

Right?

“Because…?” Buffy waited.

Instead of answering, Buffy found her lips covered by his in a soft, comforting kiss that turned more demanding.

Buffy pulled away when she remembered that they were standing in the middle of the cafeteria. Some people were looking at them, but most didn’t care.

“Oh…” Buffy said, a little confused, but didn’t have time to think about it as she felt herself being pulled by the arm. “Spike?” She almost squeaked out as they found themselves in an empty hallway. “What are you--”

Buffy found herself being softly pinned against the lockers as the blond male’s lips once again found hers. “Spike…what…are you…okay, stop for a second,” she said in between kisses before she finally got him to stop. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” He asked with a smirk and raised eyebrow.

“Okay, why are you doing it?”

Sighing, Spike looked down and then raised his gaze to meet hers.

---

Buffy walked slowly out of her last period, head once again lowered. When she did look up, she smiled when she saw Spike. “Hey.”

Spike and Buffy had talked earlier while in the hallway, both expressing that they felt something…they just didn’t know what.

It was amazing to Buffy how easily he was willing to open up, and she couldn’t help but open up to him as well.

“Want a ride?” He asked.

“To my house? No.” He smiled and nodded.

“My place then?” Buffy was surprised by the invite and surprised herself by nodding in agreement.

---

Buffy and Spike had arrived at his place with comfortable silence in the air.

Once inside, Buffy sighed and sat down on the couch. “Thanks for letting me come over…I really didn’t want to have to deal with Angel or Darla.”

“No problem, pet,” he assured her, sitting on the empty seat next to her.

He couldn’t explain the rush of emotion that hit him when she shifted and let her head rest on his shoulder. “Still…thanks.”

He knew she was doing everything she could to stay awake, hell, so was he. “Buffy.”

“Hmmm?” She asked, struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Go ahead and go to sleep, luv. Dad’ll be home soon. You can eat here and then I’ll drive you home.”

She smiled, though he couldn’t see, in appreciation and then closed her eyes, letting the sleep take over her.

---

Giles walked into his house, feeling tired from being in the hospital so much the previous night. The older man froze when he saw the scene in his living room.

Spike was asleep, his head fallen back on the couch. Buffy had her head on a pillow that was propped up against Spike’s leg, was fast asleep, and had a blanket thrown overtop her.

Clearing his throat, he was about to walk into the kitchen when he heard his son. “Oh…didn’t know you were home.”

“Just got here.”

“Buffy was pretty tired,” Spike explained, making Giles smile.

“It’s okay. It’s been rough for the both of you, I understand.” He paused for a second. “Is she staying for dinner?”

“Yeah.”

Nodding, the older man left the room and Spike looked down at the sleeping blond, running his fingers through her hair.

He was surprised when she started talking, since her eyes were still closed. “Spike?” Her voice sounded weak, small, and like she was half-asleep. “I’m cold…”

He gulped slightly, since she did have the blanket on her small form. Bringing his hand down, he felt her forehead and cheeks. She was burning up. Lifting the blanket up slightly he brought his hand down to feel her arms, and sure enough they were hot also. He knew it was the stress and grief from these past few days that was causing her to feel like this.

Sighing, he pulled her into a sitting position before bringing her into his lap.

She shivered a little, but didn’t open her eyes. Bringing the blanket back over her, Spike wrapped his arms around her and held the blond like a baby, knowing she needed comfort now.

“Go back to sleep, luv. You still have a while longer.”

A/N: Okay, I'm getting a mass of reviews begging me not to kill Faith. I can't make you that promise, sadly. This story is far from over. The BIG angsty, more primary, plot is coming up soon. And in order for that to happen...well, other bad things have to happen. Just stay with me. :-3