There he was. Right there, walking towards his locker, which happened to be right next to hers, which meant that he was walking towards her, which meant that in a few moments he would be right next to her, which meant that she was going to have to say something that somewhat resembled normal conversation and pretend like she wasn't staring, which meant that she had to look into her locker and pre--

"Hey, Buffy," he said with nonchalance. Spike gave her a quick smile while he threw open his locker and continued his conversation with Xander about how his band was going to be playing at the Bronze.

"Hey, there," Buffy said, pretending to search for something of great importance. He was so close, but nothing. Nothing that made her any different from any other girl he'd gone to school with for the past three years--and that knowledge was slowly eating away at her. She sighed miserably.

"You alright?" Spike stopped for a moment and looked at her, her tired sigh making him politely concerned.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I just thought I brought something to school but I didn't, which means I'll have to figure something out or do something, you know, to figure out what to do. Uh, yeah, it's just my stupidity." Buffy looked down and threw her backpack on. "See you guys later."

“Wonder what’s wrong with her,” said Xander as he watched her quickly weave her way through the crowded halls. “She seemed fine this morning.”

“Yeah, well, you never know with these girls. Nice one minute, horrible the next. Although, with Buffy it seems to be more horrible than nice,” Spike muttered as he closed his locker.

“Actually, Buffy’s always nice to me. So, I guess it’s just you, my bleached friend. Maybe she’s always blinded by the whiteness of your hair, gets a headache, and lashes out at you, while when with she is soothed by the coolness of the Xanman and his dark chocolate locks. Wait, did I just say locks? Cuz, I was just kidding about that. Hehe.”

“It’s Anya’s influence. You’re starting to sound more and more like her. Better watch out--people might think you’re in looovve.” Spike smirked as he teased his friend about the steady girlfriend of several months--anything was better than talking about Buffy’s mood swings.

***

God, why did she always act so stupid around him? There were a total of two ways she acted around him. One: stupid. Stuttering, flailing for words--her, the star of Mr. Giles’ English class, second-guessing herself and belittling herself...that was Method One when he was around. Two: mean. There was something about him, something about her thinking about him, something about their proximity that made her throw psi-blades at him with biting accuracy. It was totally a defense mechanism, she knew. She was naturally sarcastic, and being genuine meant showing affection, which she obviously couldn’t do--she just couldn’t take the inevitable rejection. So she went with being mean--in a witty way, of course, but mean nonetheless. He didn’t like her in the way she wanted, but he sure as hell knew she existed.

“Ugh, why can’t I just act normal around him?” she thought to herself. Stupid or mean, such limited choices, but this morning she had just been stupid, and in all honesty, stupid was sometimes better than mean. Stupid didn’t make him hate her, just think less of her--and that was pretty normal for her. Meanness brought out the meanness in him, and he could be as harsh as she could, especially with the narrowing of the eyes and the tenseness of the jaw. Mean Spike could reduce her to stupid in 5 minutes, which meant she acted both ways around him. Or, Mean Spike brought out Meaner Buffy, which meant that she would keep stabbing him until he was willing to walk away and she collapsed in a mess of wounds.

Too much thinking! Buffy scolded herself. ”I’ll just go to class and hope that I can lose myself in Calculus and be grateful, for once, that this time around the alphabet falls in a way that puts Summers in the front row and Spike Summerfield in the last seat of the previous row.” Since they had five out of seven classes together, it was hard avoiding him after a negative meeting. But this was the only class where he didn’t sit directly in front of her, and right now it was her saving grace. She took notes and attempted to become immersed in the integrals and equations that were dancing on the chalkboard. ”At least I’m smart,” she thought to herself. “That’s gotta count for something.”

***

“So, are we up for starting the study sessions for the year? I vote Buffy’s house, ‘cause her mom’s the coolest and lets us stay late. I naysay Xan’s house because we always get stuck in the basement. And I would volunteer my house, but then I wouldn’t have an excuse to leave. So, Buffy’s?” Willow said with her eyes wide with excitement. She was always excited about studying, despite the groans that were making their way through the group’s lunch table.

“Well, count me in for Buffy’s. Her mom is definitely cooler than my mom, and plus, Dawnie has a crush on me. I can always use some ego stroking--ow, Anya.” Xander rubbed his ribs where Anya had ferociously poked him. “What’s the big deal?”

“You shouldn’t need stroking from other people, especially from someone who’s younger and clearly not me. Isn’t my stroking quite satisfying?” Anya asked, starting to pout.

“Yes, yes. I’m sure you guys stroke each other real well. But let’s not dwell on that excess of information, mm kay?” Buffy said, quick to change the subject. “My house is fine. I don’t really care one way or another, as long as you guys don’t mind Dawn’s annoying presence. She is such a pain sometimes. And Xan? She has gotten kinda tall and middle-schoolish, so I don’t think her crush on you is still intact. She might just roll her eyes and try to annoy you to death. Oh, and did I mention she’s annoying?” Buffy shoved a fry in her mouth with a vengeance. Dawn had a habit of bursting into her room when she wanted to be alone, eavesdropping on her conversations when the telephone was her one decadence, and following her around when there was nothing good on TV. Dawn’s tweenie stage was not in between childhood and adolescence; it was between spoiled brat and irritating teen. And she had a sneaking suspicion that Dawn’s crush on Xander was long gone, replaced by a much hotter Spike, which was just too close to home for her taste.

“Cool! So, the first Calc test is this Friday. Should we start tomorrow night, say 5ish? Oh wait, maybe we shouldn’t do the dinner thing. 7ish?” Willow asked, looking around at the group of seniors she lovingly referred to as the Scoobies. “Buffy? Is that good?”

“Yeah, 7 is good. Actually, let’s say 6:30. The earlier I can have outside company, the better.” She was thinking of ways to keep Dawn out of sight when Spike’s sexy voice broke into her thoughts.

“Why are you so down on Dawn? She seems fine to me.” Spike tried to keep the edge out of his voice, but Buffy always seemed so down on her sister, and he always thought people took it for granted that they had siblings, his having grown up a lonely only child.

“Yeah, well you don’t have to live with her day and night. She may seem sweet to you, but she’s got retractable claws. You’re just lucky she likes you.” With that comment, she got up and threw away her trash. “I gotta go return some books at the library. Will, you wanna come with?”

“Sure thing. I wanted to check out the new arrivals.” Willow gathered her stuff together to follow Buffy out of the cafeteria.

“Hey, did Buffy say Dawn liked me? Xan, you may have some competition,” Spike said, smirking and smacking him on the back. “I still think Buffy’s a little mean to Dawn, but whatever. I guess retractable claws are a Summers trait, eh?”

“Who knows? All I know is, Dawnie has the hots for me, not you. We’ll just see tomorrow night, won’t we?” Xan grinned, confident in the kid sister’s crush.

“Well, too much testosterone and not enough orgasms for me. I think I’ll go now. Xander, walk me to class?”

“Sure, thing. Spike, see you later.”

“Bye, guys.” Spike quickly finished his chocolate milk and threw his trash away. As he walked out of the cafeteria, he accidentally knocked someone’s notebook off a table.

“Oh man, sorry about that. Let me get that,” Spike said quickly, kneeling down to get the notebook and loose paper that had fluttered to the floor.

“Hey, no prob. Happens to everyone, even really hot ones. I’m Faith, by the way.”

“Faith. New here?” Spike said, arched eyebrow and blue eyes staring at her brazenness.

“Yeah, just moved from New York. You kinda looked like you’d understand a city gal like me, so I threw in my hook. It worked, yeah?” Faith flung back her hair and slouched in a way that looked casual but still showed off her cleavage.

“Well, you might be right at that. I’m Spike. I can show you round, if you’d like. You might be a little - aggressive, shall we say, for my crowd, but sometimes we just gotta rock the boat.”

“People tell me I’m pretty good at rockin’ the boat, so long as the boat’s good enough to rock.” Faith slowly looked him up and down. “I’m thinking it’s good enough.”

“Whoa there, babe. You’re lucky I’m a nice guy under all this sexy hotness.” Spike grinned, unused to such blatant flirting inside the high school. He was kinda enjoying himself, despite the warnings that Faith was not a girl to start up with. “You know where you’re going next?”

“Some kind of Biology. You wanna show me?” Faith stood up and waited expectantly.

“Sure thing, pet. Off to Bio we go.”

***

“Hey, Xander. Do you think you could call the guys and tell them to come to my house at 7 instead of 6:30? Mom just called to say she was going to be late, which means dinner will be a little later, which means 7 would be better for all here at the Summers residence.” Buffy doodled on a notepad while waiting for his response. Her doodles were always of the same thing—Spike Summerfield—but it was carefully coded to look like daisies and pointy blades of grass. She had created several masterpieces of this code, no one knowing she was actually telling the world about her obsession for the platinum blonde.

“No prob, Buff. Do you need me to call the Willow and Anya?” Xander asked.

“Well, I already told Willow, and I figure you can tell Anya since you’re picking her up. That cool?” Buffy asked, putting the finishing touches on a daisy that now had bloodied spears protruding from its fuzzy center.

“I am always cool, confident, and collected. I am your man for messages. And now, I am going to make those calls. See you in a bit.”

“Later,” Buffy said and hung up the phone. She glanced at the design that now covered a full sheet of paper—she had gotten pretty quick with these sketches out of so much practice—and sighed. Might as well clean my room before Mom gets home. She trudged up the stairs and pretended not to hear Dawn calling her name.

Entering her room, she put down her stuff and contemplated what to do first. She blasted her Depeche Mode, the dark music matching her mood, and swayed to the pulsing beat while she put her clothes away. Gathering piles to put into the laundry hamper, she took off her sweatshirt with its mustard stain and slid around the room in her favorite velvet cami. Buffy was a big fan of lingerie—something about the softness against her skin, the secret that only she knew made her spend most of her allowance on lacy thongs, velvet camis, black sheer bras, leopard tangas…if Victoria had a secret, Buffy had to have two. She especially liked this velvet cami because of the sultry black velvet that was edged with delicate lace. It made her feel like she had power but still embraced her femininity. With that combination on her body, she danced sexily, allowing the music to rest its strong hands on her hips and lead her movements. She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair, totally letting go of herself and throwing her body into the waves of sound.

***

Dawn snickered as peeked in on Buffy dancing like a stripper. The first time Dawn had called her sister, it was just to annoy her. The second time was to say that Mom wasn’t going to be home till way later, so they were allowed to get pizza. The third time was to tell her that Xander had called and had not been able to get in touch with Spike in time. Serves her right for not listening to me when I call her name. I hope he sees what a dork she is. Dawn slowly crept away, leaving the door slightly ajar.

***

Buffy liked pretending that she was dancing with Spike, that it was his hands on her hips, his body she was leaning into, his lips that were close to her neck. She continued to move around the room, lost to the world and to time—knowing nothing but the imaginary sweetness of the sensuous dance.

***

When the doorbell rang, Dawn bounded down the stairs to get it, hoping that it was Spike—not only to embarrass Buffy but also to flirt shamelessly with the hottie that had stupidly become friends with her sister.

“Hey Dawn, how’s middle school treating you?” Spike entered the house and gave Dawn a welcoming smile—he had always liked the little girl.

“Oh, you know. Boys are stupid and classes are retarded. The same old.” Dawn tried to act nonchalantly, swinging her hair behind her in an attempt to attract his attention. Unfortunately, Spike was distracted by the lack of other people in the house.

“Where are the rest of the Scoobies? Don’t tell me I’m the first one here, even before Red?” Spike asked in astonishment.

“Looks like. Buffy’s in her room. Go ahead up.” Dawn tried to hide her smirk and followed Spike up the stairs. Ooh, nice ass. How does Buffy get to hang out with all these hotties? Dawn went into her room to ponder this and other serious issues of the world.

***

Spike peeked into the room and knocked softly before entering. The music was thumping, and he wasn’t sure if anyone was there when his mouth dropped. There was Buffy, moving sexily to the music in a tight, black top that hugged her breasts. Spike had been accustomed to seeing Buffy in sweatshirts and t-shirts, so he was a bit flummoxed. It’s not that he hadn’t noticed her prettiness—in fact, he often did so with much chagrin, wishing he wasn’t so attracted to her golden looks—but he had never been able to see how much she had been hiding. The cami hit a little above the waist, showing a sliver of skin above her snug jeans. As she continued to move her arms above her head, swaying in a way that made him ache, that sliver became larger, showing him her taut stomach and teasing him with her smooth skin. She slowly turned, her breasts peeking out of her top like luscious scoops of ice cream; his mouth began to water and his cock was now urgently pressing against his jeans.

The song came to and end, as did her dance; Buffy opened her eyes, saw Spike staring, and froze.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Buffy spat out, trying to cover her total nervousness and embarrassment in being caught dancing. She winced at the sharp tone in her voice, but she didn’t want to let on how flustered his presence made her feel.

Spike was quickly jolted out of his haze by her harsh tone. “Why do you think I’m here? Study group tonight, innit. What, you too wrapped up in dancing alone that you forgot about real people?” He knew his words were cruel, but it was his natural defense to lash out when he felt he was being attacked.

“I didn’t forget, but I’m not stupid like you, either. 7 –you idiot, not 6:30.” Buffy tried not to let her hurt at his insinuation of her solo dancing affect her, not to mention the fact that she was only wearing a cami in front of her crush.

“What? You said 6:30—what with all the annoyed rolling of eyes and mean talk to your sister, you must have lost a few brain cells.”

“Xander was supposed to call you. And anyway, don’t you knock?” She glared at him, trying to calm her heartbeat and pretend like her nipples weren’t getting harder with each pointed comment.

“I did knock, but you were so lost into yourself that you didn’t hear me. Figures you’d be like that.” Spike tried not to notice how her chest was heaving in anger, how her nipples were poking against that damn sexy top she was wearing.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You know what? I don’t care. Just get out of my room. Study group’s downstairs.” She shoved him into the hallway, trying to ignore the hard chest under her fingers and shut the door.

“Stupid bint,” Spike muttered under his breath, trying not to focus on the peek he had gotten down her tank when she had pushed him out the door. He stomped down the stairs and flopped on the couch, trying to let go of his anger and ease the hard-on that had emerged during their argument.

Buffy leaned against the door, trying to catch her breath and calm her fluttering nerves.

***

The study session passed uneventfully; there were only a few glares passed between the two blondes, which was normal for the them. When it was finally time for the session to end, Buffy was exhausted and eager to get to bed.

“See you guys tomorrow. Next session on Thursday before the test, right?” Buffy called out to her friends leaving the house. She shut the door and breathed a sigh of relief. Her bed was calling to her, knowing she needed a friend to process what had happened in her room earlier.

Finishing her nightly ritual, Buffy threw herself under the covers and thought about her encounter with Spike.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like that,” she thought to herself. She began to imagine how it should have happened.

***

Spike walked into his room and threw his backpack on the floor. His calculus was as sharp as ever, but his mind and body were all in a jumble. He had always had this weird attraction to Buffy--weird because she pissed him off like no one else, and weird because she clearly didn’t like him at all--but he had never been hit so hard with that attraction until tonight.

Tonight, he had seen her completely defenseless, dancing with some unseen lover, moving her body like she was confident and comfortable with herself--not insecure and defensive the way she often acted with him. And that persona, the one who made him stare and drool and harden all in a matter of seconds, was not going to let him get much sleep. He brushed his teeth quickly, threw off his clothes, and got into bed. He closed his eyes and relived her dance.

***

She dances by herself, allowing the music to move her, when she suddenly feels hands on her hips.

“Hey, sexy. What are you doing dancing without me?” She feels his breath tickling her neck.

“Spike, you’re early. The group’s not supposed to get here for another half an hour,” she protests weakly but still sinking her body into his hands.

“I know, pet. I know. So let’s savor this dance while we’re alone.” Spike begins moving his hips behind her, their bodies undulating together to the music. Buffy feels the heat start building up in her as she strokes the hard body pressed against hers. “You make me so hot,” Spike murmurs while he dances. He kisses her neck slowly, starting at the base and moving to that spot behind her ear that makes her melt. His hands start to move up her body, caressing her waist and then lightly brushing underneath her breasts. She starts to breathe heavily, arching her back into his. She turns her head and kisses him. She then moves her whole body to face him and feels his tongue caressing her lips and then her tongue as they slowly experience each other’s mouths.

***

He leans back against her bed and watches her dance--only for him. She moves towards him seductively, lowering her eyes as she eases her hands over her breasts and down her hips. She glances at him slyly and then begins to toy with her jeans. Spike breathes in sharply and shifts in his pants, making room for his growing erection.

She unbuttons her jeans and slowly unzips them. Spike notices the black lace peeking through and whistles quietly. Buffy continues to sway to the music, turning around with the beat. She leans over slightly and begins to slide her jeans down, revealing her ass touched by a lacy thong. She lets the jeans drop to the floor and pauses, letting him savor the gorgeous view. She places her hands on her knees and gyrates sensually to the music, every so often looking over her shoulder at him.

Throwing her hair back and running her fingers through it, she sashays towards the bed. She climbs on the edge and crouches on her knees, flexing her body and allowing her chest to skim the covers in a snake-like motion. She leans into him and rips off his jeans, never letting her dancing stop. She runs her hands over her breasts and lightly squeezes them. He moans. She slowly, tantalizingly slides her top off and reveals a black bra that shows off her breasts. She pushes them towards him and lets him taste. His tongue finds her nipple and begins licking and sucking. She throws back her hair and moans, which makes his cock even harder.

***

She stops kissing him long enough to take off his black t-shirt. She runs her hands over his chest, caressing every muscle. Leaning forward, she flicks out her kitten tongue and teases his nipple. He grabs her and devours her, kissing her mouth, her neck, her ears, everything. She presses herself as close as possible, trying to lose herself in his embrace. His hand gently reaches in between them and unbuttons her jeans. Rubbing her through her lace thong, he smiles at her wetness and continues to kiss her while sliding his fingers into her panties and against her clit. She begins to push herself against him, digging her nails into his back while spreading her legs to get him deeper inside. She begins tightening her pussy, waiting for that sensation to knock her over...

***

He throws off his t-shirt and kisses her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and dancing with her tongue, her sweetness overwhelming him. He unhooks her bra and sucks her breast while she rubs herself against his long, hard cock. She pushes her thong to the side and begins touching herself. Moaning, he pushes her hand away and begins pleasuring her. Her wetness is intoxicating, and she begins to shudder with ecstasy. Before she reaches, he thrusts into her. They both scream, him from the tightness and her from the first wave of orgasmic bliss. He sits up, her legs curling around his waist. Rhythmically they begin rocking, the music still pounding in the background. He grabs her hips and begins slamming into her, sucking and kissing and biting everything he can taste. He feels himself moving towards climax and presses her close to him, feeling her legs tighten around him. They both begin breathing faster, moaning louder, squeezing harder...

***

“Uuuunnnngggg,” Buffy breathed, squeezing her thighs together and pressing her fingers up against her quivering clit.

***

“Guuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh,” Spike moaned as his cum shot out, hitting his sweaty chest and dripping over his abs.

***

The night crept away slowly, leaving them to sleep in complete satisfaction.

“Last week you gave me a list of your choices for the independent reading assignments. Let’s review…” The teacher droned on about the upcoming assignments and exams.

Normally, Buffy would be doing any number of things: jotting down copious notes, staring at the back of Spike’s neck, cramming for an exam, doodling…she was doing none of these things. She was too distracted to take notes, too embarrassed to stare at Spike’s neck, too wired to think about an exam, too tense to doodle…all because of last night’s dream. It’s not that she had never dreamt about Spike or even imagined being with him; she had on numerous occasions. It was because last night had seemed so real to her; it had been based in reality, which was more than she could say for many of her fantasies, and it had seemed like a possibility in the three seconds they had stared at each other before she had kicked him out of her room. She sighed softly, trying to get her mind to skip to the next track, but it stubbornly stayed on repeat and tortured her mind with images of reality and fantasy intermingling.

“Today I’ll be assigning you partners, so please write down the names of your group members and the books you’ve been assigned.”

Upon hearing her teacher’s words, Buffy finally attempted to focus her thoughts on the man in front of her. She got out her notebook and waited to hear her name.

“Terry Smith and Jonathan Weldon, reading Catcher in the Rye. Andrew Conners and Jenny Stiles, reading The Bell Jar. Buffy Summers and William Summerfield, reading Love in the Time of Cholera…”

Buffy froze. Please tell me he didn’t just say what I think he said. Please tell me he didn’t say what I think he said. Please tell me he didn’t say what I think he sai—”

“So, you signed up for Cholera?” Spike asked, turning around and asking her casually as he looked at the assignment guidelines for the project. He had avoided looking directly at her all day, but the new partner announcement made it rather difficult to keep ignoring her presence. He tried to stay aloof in his conversation.

“Uh, yeah. Didn’t think you’d be interested in something like that,” she muttered, not really thinking about what she was saying. Buffy could only think about how she had felt when he had dream-touched her, and those fantasies were forcing themselves into her reality, however unwelcome they were.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m too dumb to read books or something?” Spike said, annoyed at her comment but more at his inability to look at her without thinking of her naked.

“Shut up, you idiot. Obviously you read, since you’re in AP English with me. I just didn’t think it’d be your kind of book. Thought you’d be more into Clockwork Orange or One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or some other book with crazies that you’d be able to relate to,” Buffy retorted, rubbing her eyes. If I close my eyes, maybe he won’t see what I’m thinking,” Buffy thought to herself. Oh, who am I kidding? He never looks at me hard enough to see that. She sighed miserably.

“Look, we’re gonna have to do this project together, and I’m not about to mess up my perfect grades over stupid shit. So let’s set up a schedule and figure out when we’re going to work on this.” Spike ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. They always seemed to fight about stupid things, her sarcasm and biting comments always drawing out the fighter in him. Normally, he wouldn’t think twice about it, but that dream had seemed so vivid to him, making him more aware of her presence, her words, her body, her hair, her scent…

“Fine. Let’s start reading the book and meet on Monday. Say, first 100 pages by then?” she asked, expecting him to balk at the large number of pages. She felt like taunting him for some reason; perhaps she felt that taunting was normal, and she was desperate to get back to normal with him.

“Whatever. We can finish the book by then if you like. I’m pretty fast with books, faster than you, I’m sure. But if you can’t handle that much,” Spike taunted back. He was a fast reader, English being his best subject and reading being an enjoyable pastime for him. Being a strong student came naturally to him, an ability that seemed to contradict his bad boy appearance—not that he cared much what other people thought.

“Oh, yeah? Fine, we’ll finish the book by Monday and talk about it then. Study group for Calc and Physics is that day, so you can just hang afterwards, if you’re finished,” snapped Buffy.

“Fine. Try not to lose too much beauty sleep. You need as much as possible,” Spike bit.

Right then, the bell rang. Spike gathered his stuff up quickly and walked away without a second glance.

Buffy breathed deeply and tried not to let her emotions overwhelm her. For some reason, she felt like crying, like shaking, like falling into bed and hugging her stuffed pig until the stars came out. Watching herself around Spike had been exhausting, and his last words had just knifed into her, reminding her why she was never going to attract a guy like him. She grabbed her books and slowly walked out of the classroom.

***

Spike quickly strode down the hall and out the school building, jonesing for a cigarette. He needed something to calm his nerves; for whatever reason, he was ready to have some time away from Buffy Summers and her acidic tongue in that luscious mouth of hers. Climbing into his car, he drove directly to the bookstore to pick up the novel and start reading. He was eager to lose himself in another world, his present one being a little too complicated for him right now.

***

When she finally got home, Buffy reached into her bookbag and took out the novel for the project. There had only been one copy at the bookstore, and she wondered if Spike had been able to get a copy. Buffy looked at the title, remembering the conversation she had had with Spike about meeting and reading the book. Might as well get started, since I only have the weekend to read.

Opening the book, she read the first line out loud.

“It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.” Great, Buffy thought. How incredibly appropriate.

She flopped down on the bed, hugged her pig Mr. Gordo, and dove into the alluring words.

--

Ch. 4: Behind Blue Eyes

"So, Buffy, are you excited about your birthday coming up?" Willow said as they walked to lunch together.

"What's to be excited about? Wondering what terrible disaster will hit me this year? I would skip my birthday totally—I would—if I could just get the presents on a different day," Buffy said morosely. On her birthday last year she had slipped in the lunchroom in front of everyone, earning her the nickname Puffy Buffy from the way her skirt had flown up and shown everyone her granny panties from laundry day, only exacerbated by her monthly friend's appearance. All in all, it was a day she wished she could strike from everyone's memory.

"But Buffy, aren't you even slightly curious about our surprise? I mean, you're as eager as the next guy when it comes to gifts. Don't you wanna know even a little?" Willow said, bouncing a little in the energy used to keep the secret. "And you know that Anya is one of the main brains behind this whole thing. I'd be worried if I were you," Willow whispered in a last ditch effort to garner Buffy's curiosity.

"Well, that does worry me a little. But there are so many other things on my plate right now. Like the fact that I have to do the book project with Spike!" Buffy said his name with whispered frustration. "And I just don't know how to deal with that." She looked at the food being served with disgust before picking up a salad and an apple.

"I don't understand. Last year you would've killed to be partnered with him. And now you seem all fluster-y. Why the weirdness?" Willow asked while balancing a tray of mystery meat. They walked towards their routine lunch table.

"I just—I mean, it's one thing to fantasize and daydream about those things. But in my life? It never goes the way I plan. I always say something stupid and then act mean, and then he's mean, and then I just want to cry or hide, but instead I'm mean again…it's really a vicious cycle beyond my control. I just don't want things to be all screwed up, in the way that I normally screw things up." She pouted, mulling over her situation.

"Cheer up, Buffy. It's your birthday this weekend!"

"Yes, it is!" Xander said with flourish as he approached and then sat next to his girls. "And we can't miss an exciting episode of Buffy birthday blunders. What is on the agenda for the weekend?" While waiting for the answer, he began munching on fries.

"You guys are going to meet us at the Bronze at 8. And you should already know this, because I sent out e-vites 3 weeks ago, Xander," Willow chastised.

"Willow, you can't really expect me to plan that far in advance. Anyway, I'm FleXander—give me a time and I'll be there. No worries." Xander slid down the lunch bench as Spike and Oz joined them. "You guys are in for this weekend at the Bronze, right?"

"Pretty hard to miss, since we're playing that night," said Spike as he began to pick at his lunch. "What is this, anyway?"

"I think it's supposed to be chicken. Willow, are we still up for the big surprise for Buffy's birthday?" Oz asked, his face completely masked, despite Willow's expressive gestures behind Buffy's back.

"Oh, yes, Buffy's surprise. Don't tell anybody, especially not Buffy," she said with huge smile on her face.

"Okay, I'm curious. You win," Buffy said with a sigh. "I just hope last year's birthday is a thing of the past."

"Of course, Puffy Buffy!" Xander said, poking her in the shoulder. Spike chuckled while Xander basked in the attention.

"Gee, you're so sweet," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Xander, shut up," Willow said, slapping his shoulder. "This year's birthday is going to be great. Really, Buffy." Willow squeezed Buffy's shoulders in reassurance. "Now, let's go finish our day so that the weekend can begin!" She got up and threw her trash away. "Who's ready for Calculus?"

***

Oz began tuning his bass as Spike set up the rest of the mikes for rehearsal. Satisfied with the tone, he nodded to Spike to start the music.

"Wait, tell me again what we're doing tomorrow night? Something about Buffy's birthday?"

"Yeah, Willow wants us to dedicate a song to her—and she really likes that song you wrote. "Love is a Fallacy" is the official title, I think. I believe "Cecily Fallacy" is what we called it after in honor of its origin."

Devon splashed the cymbal to highlight Oz's joke, since Oz didn't do much with the delivery. "Yeah, man—you were all dopey and shit after she played you."

"Yeah, well, I'm over it now. She likes that song? I'm surprised. I thought she'd go for something a little sappier."

"Man, that song is sappy. Just because you talk about that fallacy shit, there's still that line in the end about true love and all that romantic stuff the girls seem to love so much," Devon said with a smirk. "But we haven't played that song in a while, so that should be first on the playlist for tonight's rehearsal."

"What? You're being organized about tonight? What's her name, and what time is she coming tomorrow?" Spike said, teasing their drummer playboy.

"Her name's Faith. She's new, so don't any of you get any ideas. I got dibs."

"Actually, I already met her. And she was quite the flirt—couldn't resist my charms I suppose. I'm not interested—she's not really my type—but she did try a little with me. So don't go all evil on me if she happens to look my way."

"Damn, Spike. Can't you leave a few for the rest of us? Now what am I going to do?" Devon sighed loudly, exaggerating his pain. "I guess I'll just have to find me another gal."

"No, man—go for it. I'll just tell her I'm not interested, which is true. Pals before gals all the way."

"Now that our philosophy has been stated, are we ready to play?" said Oz.

"Whenever you're ready, Dev."

Devon began the beat on the quiet yet pulsing beat of the song, and the boys soon lost themselves in creating music.

***

Love is a fallacy
Misleading analogy
Lose my identity
Till I'm persuaded to nothing

Love is a fallacy
Trick me of sanity
Illogical clarity
Till I'm deceived into knowing

But I know you're waiting
With your clear eyes gazing
Knowledge is truth is power is love
And I know you're saving me…
Eventually

***

The Bronze was crowded, filled with people dancing, talking, flirting, laughing—but Buffy only heard one thing. She mouthed the words to her favorite song and swayed to the music as she gazed at Spike singing into the mike, his eyes closed in intensity. The first time she had heard this song, she had imagined him singing those last lines to her and she to him, and her heart had fluttered the entire time. When he had spoken the dedication to the crowd, wishing her a happy birthday, she almost felt she was dreaming. She sighed contentedly.

"Now that's what I like to hear," Willow said, satisfied with her efforts. "Look at me and tell me this isn't the best birthday so far. I mean, you look gorgeous, and we had fun getting all girly, right?"

Willow and Anya had gotten Buffy a day at the spa for the three of them, and they had played up to their girlyness through pedicures, manicures, massages, and a professional makeover. Buffy stood with confidence, her hair straightened and styled, her eyes smoky, her lips painted with glossamer. This amazing day was topped by a new dress from her mom, the little black job she had been eying at the mall. Her figure was finally free of baggy sweatshirts and shapeless jeans; overall, Buffy was almost unrecognizable—and that made her happy.

"Yeah, I will totally admit that this day has been fabulous. I can't believe you guys convinced my mom to buy this dress—and I can't believe you convinced me to wear it. You know this isn't really my kind of thing…as much as I love the way it looks," Buffy said, drawing her friends close for a quick hug. "I couldn't have asked for a better day."

"Well, we were tired of seeing you mope about no boys, and you clearly weren't using all your assets. If I had that ass, I'd show it off. So that's what you're going to do from now on," Anya said with determination. "And we'll just see if the boys don't notice you."

"Anya, remember what we talked about? This new look is for Buffy and her self-esteem, not for the boys. If they happen to notice, it's because of her newfound confidence in herself, not because she's revealing more skin," Willow said patiently, obviously repeating earlier words.

"They'll notice because they're boys. But if it makes you feel better, I'll agree with you." Anya nodded her head pertly. "I'm off to see if Xander has my drink yet. You two keep talking about your self-esteem and not about boys." Anya promptly left the table.

"Willow, don't worry. I'm not going to change my whole life to get some boys to notice me. I won't say that I'll deny them, but I won't make that my goal. Okay? Is that good enough for you?" Buffy asked with a grin.

"I just want to make sure you feel comfortable with all these things, because boys are often temporary things, and I don't want you to feel your appearance is your only attractive quality, because it's not."

"Apparently I don't even have that, based on my track record. But let's not dwell on that. It's my birthday, and I'll dance if I want to. Come on, Wills. Dance with me. We'll make all the boys drool." Buffy bounded out of her chair and dragged Willow onto the dance floor.

***

He watched her dance with abandon, her happiness sparkling through her eyes and glittering her body. She was obviously having fun, paying no heed to all the others around and dancing for herself alone, but there were moments of undulation, of sensual gyrating that simply called out to him, to all those around, crying out for someone to join her. He wanted to be that one.

***

Buffy felt good. The music was sensual and familiar, running across her body like lover's hands. Closing her eyes, she let those hands dictate her movements, completely letting go of her reservations and insecurities and losing herself in the song. She knew she looked good; there had been good money spent to guarantee that she looked good. She was surrounded by her friends with the voice of Spike licking her ear; life couldn't get much better.

***

He sang into the mike, letting the words drop from his lips. Squinting into the audience, he saw Buffy and her circle of friends, dancing to his words, his guitar. Her movements reminded him of their earlier confrontation, and he felt a twitch lower. He smiled slightly as he continued to sing, enjoying the scene before him. Maybe tonight he'd be able to dance with her.

***

"Do you guys want anything? My treat," said Xander. "And you should take advantage of me now, since I'm braving the mass of people who like to drink when there's a lull in the music." The girls laughed and spouted their preferences. He quickly took the orders and headed over to the bar.

"Hey, Xan, how are you and the ladies liking the music?" Spike asked as he took a swig of water, on break between sets.

"You know the girls when it comes to guys with guitars. I'll never forgive myself for not learning," Xander said, patting Spike on the back. "They love you, and they want you to play that Fallacy song one more time. What is it with girls and repeat? Don't they get sick of the same song being played over and over again?" Xander shook his head.

"Maybe we'll do that, just for the birthday girl. How's she enjoying herself—better than last year?" Spike asked, glancing over at the group.

"Ah, so you noticed her tonight, did you? Yeah, she and the girls did this whole beauty thing. I think they all look pretty damn hot. Anya the most, of course," he said quickly. Xander sidled in closer. "You think Buffy's cute, don't ya?"

"I've always thought she was cute, but tonight she looks hot. I just seem to bring out the worst in her and vice versa," Spike said, watching Buffy laugh and chat animatedly with her friends. "Seriously hot tonight, though I wouldn't mind her with a little less makeup."

"Yeah, well, maybe things won't be as bad tonight. She's having a great time. Go ask her to dance or something when your set is done. Anya's been on my case to get you to date someone; she's ready to do the double date thing." Xander sighed, thinking about all the other things Anya had been on his case for lately.

"It's a good thing she loves you. I can imagine she'd be quite the enemy if you ever got on her bad side. Anyway, I think I'm ready for our set to be over. Gettin' a little tired of being in the spotlight. I'll see you later," he said, finishing his water and heading towards the stage again. He glanced over at the girls one last time and made his decision.

***

"Well, I'm tired. Dancing is great fun but also great pain, especially in these shoes. I'm smiling today, but I'm not sure about tomorrow," said Buffy as she slid onto a stool and out of her shoes.

"But the night is young! And they haven't really played any slow songs yet! And we haven't eaten the birthday cake of chocolatey goodness!" Willow cried out, worried that her detailed schedule was about to be trampled on.

"Don't worry, Willow, geez. Buffy's just making small talk. We're not going to leave without getting some male goodness—at least, I'm not. So calm down." Anya took a sip from her drink. "And I wish you guys would get with the goodness, too, because I want another couple to do the whole double date thing and Oz is not really the talkative type—sorry Willow. Buffy, why don't you go ask Spike to dance when he's done? He and Xander are close, and then we could go out."

Buffy's cheeks flushed, and she quickly glanced at Spike, who was holding onto his mike tightly while his voice buzzed through the air. "I don't think Spike would dance with me, and I'm not really up to making this birthday end on a sad note." Buffy shook her head, trying to stop the fantasy of dancing with Spike from developing into a dvd for her private collection.

"Who knows? Maybe he'll ask you to dance? Tonight has been pretty awesome. Let's get that cake and make a wish," said Willow, the ever-hopeful optimist.

"Thanks, Wills," said Buffy, giving her a quick hug.

Quickly, the cake appeared before her, one single candle snug in the waves of chocolate icing. Buffy closed her eyes, pictured clear blue eyes, and blew.

***

"Thanks for the great night. Until next time," said Spike, officially ending the set. "Finally," he muttered, starting to clean up the equipment. As canned music began to play, he quickly gathered the band's stuff. When the last mike was packed away, he wiped his dusty hands on his jeans and looked up to find Buffy. At that moment, a slow song came on. He smiled and headed towards her.

***

"Oh, I love this song," said Buffy quietly. She started shredding a napkin, refusing to search the crowds to see where Spike had gone after finishing his set. She tried not to give in to the song's haunting allure when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Her heart stopped beating, and she slowly turned around with hope in her eyes.

"May I have this dance?"

But the eyes were brown.

Ch. 5: Not Better than Ice Cream

"Um, sure," Buffy said. "I'm Buffy," she introduced as he led her onto the dance floor.

"My name's Angel," he said as they began to sway to the music. "I just transferred to Sunnydale U, so I just started my second year. What about you?"

"Actually, I'm a senior in high school," Buffy said, slightly embarrassed. She couldn't help feeling a little disappointed that it wasn't Spike asking, but she had never been approached by a total stranger. She decided to back in that information and not think about Spike. She looked into Angel's brown eyes and decided that he was a little cute, though not really her type—thin, blonde, blue-eyed, hot. She sighed softly and looked up at him again. "Are you new to California?"

"Yeah, actually I'm from the East Coast so I don't really know a lot about how things are out here. So, maybe if you want to show me around, I'd really appreciate it." Angel gazed into her hazel eyes, thinking about how gorgeous this girl was. He was a little surprised that she was only in high school, her clothes and makeup giving the appearance of someone more mature, but he was only a year or two older, and there was something about high school girls that made them rather delectable.

***

He was too late. Some tall forehead had already asked her to dance, and so he was now without a target, directionless. He heard a sultry voice behind him.

"You wanna pretend you were coming for me? Because I'm willing to dance if you are," Faith said, eyeing him coyly.

"Faith, haven't seen you around in a while. Decided school wasn't your thing?" Spike replied, easing into his cocky side.

"Well, sometimes Biology needs to be little more physical—more field work, less book work. You know what I'm saying?" She moved towards him and lightly moved her hand down his chest. "But if you're willing to tutor me, I'm a really good student."

Spike caught her hand. "Actually, I think my bandmate is a little more interested in tutoring you." He looked over at Devon, drinking a beer moodily.

"Who's to say I can't have more than one teacher?" Faith said saucily.

Spike chuckled. "You are something. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure thing," she said, linking her arm in his.

***

"Are you sure you don't mind hanging out with a high school girl?" Buffy said, her insecurity getting the best of her, her new clothes and makeup starting to wear off in their confidence. She bit her lip nervously and looked down while continuing to move to the music.

The effect of her lowered lashes and bit lip was quite enticing, and Angel had to stop himself from leaning in and tasting her. "I don't mind at all, especially when that high school girl is as beautiful as you," he said, hoping his words didn't come out like the line that it was.

Buffy looked up quickly, her eyes widened by the compliment. She wasn't used to hearing such words, and suddenly her dance partner didn't seem so dorky or wide-shouldered. Suddenly his eyes seemed like chocolate instead of dirt, his hair like soft tufts of grass rather than hardened brambles. Suddenly he seemed pretty perfect.

"You think I'm beautiful?" she said shyly, looking deep into his eyes for some confirmation.

He smiled, knowing his words had worked their charm. "I know you're beautiful." He pulled her close and felt her little heart beating rapidly. He was beginning to like Sunnydale.

***

"So, tell me what happened! You ended up dancing with him consecutively, so I didn't get a chance to ask at the Bronze. It's a good thing we're doing this slumber party thing, because I don't know if I could've held out till tomorrow," Willow said, plopping onto the sleeping bag next to Buffy, her hands filled with Oreos and ice cream.

"Well, it was weird, you know? I wasn't really expecting anyone to ask me to dance—"

"Hoping for Spike, though," Willow interrupted. She looked into her pint of Chunky Monkey to avoid the evil glare Buffy was giving her.

"You don't have to rub it in," Buffy said, lightly pushing her friend.

"I know. I'm just teasing. Sorry, keep telling your story."

"Yes, tell us more about this Angel," Anya said, returning from the bathroom and helping herself to a pint of Cherry Garcia.

"So, when he asked me to dance, I just agreed because people never ask me to dance. I didn't think he was all that good-looking or anything when I first saw him. But then…" she trailed off, playing with the spoon in her Mint Chocolate Cookie. "He said I was beautiful."

"Oh my god, Buffy! That's huge! And didja blush and say, 'Thank you, kind sir.' Didja?" Willow said excitedly, her green eyes huge with glee.

Buffy grinned happily. "I definitely blushed. No one's ever said I was beautiful before. And then we danced some more, and talked some more, and it was just, well, nice. I'm supposed to show him around the town a little, since he just moved to the area." She grabbed an Oreo and began licking the cream center. "Do you think I should be worried that he's a college guy? I mean, I have no idea what he's like beyond what I saw today."

"Well, don't go giving away your v status or anything," Willow said seriously. "I'm serious," she said in response to Buffy's eye-rolling.

"Unless he's really good at giving you pleasure. Although he looks kind of hulking, which might make sex a little uncomfortable for you, since you're so much smaller than he is," Anya said thoughtfully, munching on a cookie.

"I just met the guy. Geez. I've never even kissed a guy before—what makes you guys think I'm going to go all the way with a guy I just met?"

"You didn't even think he was cute until he said you were beautiful. Don't you think that says something?" Willow said perceptively.

"That's only because I was hoping it was Spike. I've had this crush on him for years, and he's never looked twice at me. I think this is a good opportunity to move on, actually have the possibility of having a boyfriend for once in my sad existence. Can't you be happy for me?" Buffy whined, not wanting to dwell on the attraction that she wished were stronger between her and Angel.

"Of course we're happy for you!" Willow cried out. She nudged Anya to agree with her.

"Oh, yes. We're ecstatic," said Anya in a monotone. "He just looks a little weird to me."

Willow gave her an evil glare and continued. "He's definitely cute. You should totally take him around. Just don't hurt your hand on his gelled hair," Willow said, her grave tone belying the mirth dancing in her eyes.

The girls then burst into laughter, remembering the thickness and gross amount of gel Angel had put in his hair. They continued chatting and giggling and then proceeded to eat through all the remaining pints of ice cream and bags of Oreos scattered around the sleeping bags.

***

At the same time…

"So what happened to asking Buffy to dance?" Xander said as he furiously pressed the buttons to kill the evil forces coming at him in throngs.

"I was going to but then that poofy looking wanker asked her first, and then they pretty much stayed together for the rest of the night," Spike replied casually, more focused on wielding his sword to beat off the bad guys.

"Oh yeah, I heard Buffy introducing him to Willow. I think he's a college man. Watch it!" Xander yelled as Spike swiped him with his blade.

"Sorry 'bout that. College man, ey? Well, I don't like the looks of him. Just seems too involved with himself and his hair to see much of anyone else." Spike threw down the pad in defeat. "Stupid game."

Xander joined him in tossing the controls. "Yeah, well, looks like you're not in the game this time. But who knows what next week will bring?" Xander stood up and stretched. "I'm beat. I feel like I should play more since this is one of the few times I'm not hanging with Anya after bronzing. But I'm so tired I'm starting to see the Tetris blocks dropping in my mind." He yawned loudly.

"Man, we haven't played Tetris in years. You're still seeing those blocks?" Spike said as he stifled a yawn and scratched his abs.

"Yup, something about fatigue and late night video games. Always brings the same memory to mind. Anyway, I'm gonna head out, get some sleep before we get together for tomorrow's study group. You're going, right?"

"Of course. Can't let you idiots flunk out of Physics without my help, right?" he said snidely.

"It is completely unfair that you're so smart. There should be a rule or something against people like you getting straight As." Xander picked up his keys and headed towards the door.

"What can I say? I'm just perfect. Oof—" he said as Xander playfully jabbed him in the stomach.

"It's a good thing I still work out. Gotta have something to offer the group, even if it is just punching you whenever you get too annoying. I'll see you then," Xander said.

"Later," Spike said, waving goodbye. He walked back into the house and up to his room. Opening the window, he grabbed a cigarette and settled into the window seat. Sitting in the dark, looking out at the sky, he recalled seeing Buffy dancing with that poofter. He sighed, wondering what they had talked about, why she had blushed. He had spent a good portion of the night watching her, even while he had held a conversation with Faith. Faith, who had made it clear she was interested, was just too forward for him. He tended to go for girls who didn't need to keep showing off how strong and independent and confident they were—girls who simply were those things. Granted, his track record made him out to be rather misinformed about girls, but he still knew what he liked, even if he was wrong about the girls he thought he saw it in. Now Cecily, she had had confidence. So much, in fact, that she had no problem leading him on and then dropping him with as much humiliation and condescension as was possible for a girl, or so he thought. What he had perceived to be wit was really just snobbery, and what he had assumed were layers were actually just facades, and the genuine Cecily was not as beautiful as her exterior.

He exhaled slowly, thinking about his next girlfriend. Dru. Dru had been strong and confident in her eccentric ways, but she definitely hadn't been independent. She'd leaned on him so much that it became suffocating, and eventually he'd had to call things off. As much as he had fallen in love with her, he couldn't stand the way she'd wanted to consume him.

That had been a year ago, and he had only recently allowed himself to look at girls again, almost afraid of being devoured in the same way. He still was looking for that quiet strength and independence, that wit and intelligent manner, a beauty inside sparking the outside. He thought about Buffy again, how she'd looked tonight, how they'd been interacting lately. She had always struck him as a little too self-conscious, too defensive, too insecure. But this past year she had changed a little—or maybe he was just seeing her differently. The way she danced that day in her room—for some reason those movements refused to leave him. He was captivated by the luxurious power that seemed rooted in her hips, the intensity that seemed to radiate from her eyes, even when they were closed. He felt that underneath all her biting sarcasm and defense mechanisms, there was a girl of strength, intelligence, and sensuality—and he wanted to be the one to uncover it. It seemed silly that a simply dance could intrigue him so much, but he could not shake its allure.

He took a last puff of his cigarette and then went to the bathroom to wash up. Finishing by a cool splash of water to his face, he threw off his clothes and plopped onto his bed, letting the night air wash over him. He banished the thoughts of Buffy's dance partner and focused on Buffy. Closing his eyes, he let his dreams overtake him.

Ch. 6: Thoughtful Gifts

Spike wasn't sure why he showed up so early to the Sunday study group at Buffy's. Outwardly, he convinced himself that it was his normal MO to be on time for every event. In the far recesses of his mind, he perhaps hoped that there would be a repeat of Buffy's seductive dance just for him. He would never admit to that hope, but regardless of his reasoning, he was driving down Revello Drive about 20 minutes earlier than the set time. As he slowed down, he saw Buffy at her door and eventually recognized her companion as the guy she had picked up at the Bronze last night.

***

"I had a really good time, Buffy," Angel said as he walked her to her door. What surprised him was how honestly he meant those words. He was used to saying such pat phrases, expecting the usual blush and lowered lashes in response to his words; this time, he truly had had a good time. He found that they did actually have a lot in common, and their time walking through the lazy streets of Sunnydale's cemeteries and sipping coffee at the Espresso Pump had resulted in interesting and comfortable conversations. He wasn't completely in love or anything—he was far too sensible for that—but he was pleasantly surprised that his next conquest was someone he could actually talk to outside of bed.

"I did, too," Buffy said thoughtfully. She was still overwhelmed at how quickly she had ended up seeing Angel again, not really expecting him to call so soon. They had spent the Sunday very leisurely, strolling through Sunnydale's historic sites and premier dining establishments. She tried not to be embarrassed by the uninteresting places she had ended up taking Angel, but there just wasn't much sightseeing in Sunnydale. There wasn't a huge spark between them—she wasn't enthralled or anything—but there was a small connection between them. She tried desperately to quell the insecurities she felt towards Angel's motivations and intentions.

"Can I see you again later this week?" Angel questioned, looking into her clear, hazel eyes. As she looked up, he felt a twinge of something inside. She really was pretty, and her innocence made her that much more desirable.

"Um, sure. I can't do much during the school week, but give me a call," Buffy said, trying to sound as if she said such things all the time. In reality, Buffy had had very little dating experience. She hoped her naiveté didn't scream its presence to Angel.

"I will." Angel brushed her cheek softly with his hand and leaned in for a kiss.

Buffy's heart began to pound. "My first kiss? Now? On the porch?" Her staccato thoughts flew around until she noticed a black DeSoto heading towards her home. "Spike," she thought to herself. Instinctively she turned her head just as Angel's lips touched her skin—grazing her cheek.

Angel was surprised at Buffy's movement. He sensed her nervousness, but he hadn't expected her to give him the cheek. Her resistance only made him more eager to press her boundaries.

"I'll see you later, then," Buffy said with finality. She opened her door, waved one last time, and closed it.

Angel stood for a while, staring at the closed door, trying to assess what had just happened. Eventually he turned and began walking to his car. As he stepped onto the sidewalk, he waited for a black DeSoto to turn onto the driveway. Curious, he watched as a platinum blonde blatantly ignored his presence and walked up to Buffy's door. He watched as the guy rang the doorbell, confidently entered the house, and closed the door behind him.

Angel thought some more as he climbed into his car, pondering his next moves and the intriguing complication that seemed to have arisen. With one final glance at her house, he drove away.

***

Spike peeked through the curtains and watched Buffy's date drive away. He had seen their almost-kiss at the front porch and had tried not to seem too obvious in driving up to the house past loverboy. Buffy's mom had let him in; apparently Buffy had rushed upstairs for whatever reason, and Joyce had told him to wait in the living room. He was tempted to peek upstairs, but he felt uncomfortable about going up when Joyce had specifically told him to wait here. He sighed loudly, wondering what Buffy and Forehead had done to merit an almost-kiss on the front porch. Plopping onto the sofa, he closed his eyes in an attempt to block images from entering his mind. He shook his head and decided to get out his book to read; since he was supposed to have Love in the Time of Cholera finished by tomorrow, he might as well read while waiting. He lost himself in the book, absorbed by the sensual and languorous language, and was finishing the last page when he heard footsteps clambering down the stairs. He saw Buffy, now dressed in sweats and a baggy t-shirt—a far cry from the cute sundress she had been wearing earlier on her outing with Forehead (he supposed the guy had a name, but the nickname was now engraved in his mind).

"You're early," Buffy said simply. She tried to ignore the butterflies that were fluttering through her stomach in seeing Spike casually reading on her sofa, looking so scrumptious in his usual black tee and jeans. She also tried to ignore the obvious differences between her reaction to Spike and the more lukewarm reaction to Angel. She hardened her face in resolve, crushing all hopes with Spike and being more optimistic about possibilities with Angel.

Spike saw the expression on her face and interpreted it as annoyance, possibly because it cut into her post-Forehead basking time. He automatically went on the defensive.

"Yeah, well, some of us like to be productive on the weekends and not waste our time escorting every willing bloke around the block, whatever kind of block that may be."

Buffy shot him a nasty look. "Maybe losers like yourself just don't have anywhere else better to be than a physics/math study group," she said in a biting tone.

"What's with the sweats? We're not good enough for the sundress?" Spike said, annoyed by the fact that she had changed.

"Why would I study in a dress?" she said, her voice dripping with exasperation. At that moment the doorbell rang. Thankful for the distraction, she opened the door.

"Hey, guys," chirped Anya, who sailed through the door in a cute, pink sundress.

"Hey, there," said Spike, his voice completely changed to honeyed charm. "You're looking lovely, Anya. Nice dress," he said, pointedly looking at Buffy after throwing a smile to Anya.

"Oh, thanks, Spike. I always like to look nice. It's just a thing I have with looks and getting compliments." She twirled for effect. "Buffy! I thought we decided you were going to embrace my mind-set? What are these sweats? We're going upstairs right now to change," Anya said firmly, taking Buffy by the arm and marching her upstairs, completely deaf to Buffy's pleas. "Spike, you'll just have to wait down there."

Spike chuckled as he saw Anya manhandle Buffy up the stairs. If anybody knew how to strong-arm Buffy, it was Anya. There was something about Anya's persona that you just didn't mess with.

***

"Anya, it's just a study group. Why would I wear a dress?" Buffy complained, finally breaking loose of Anya's clamp.

"Buffy, it's not just about a study group. It's about wanting to look nice no matter what the occasion. You don't have to wear a dress or put on a ton of makeup, but you could at least care about how you look. I mean, ratty t-shirts and grey sweats? Come on." Anya gave her clothes a look of disgust and started to rifle through her closet. "Sometimes it's just nice to know you look good. Especially since we're still working on your confidence—and you're not going to improve your confidence looking like that," said Anya as she began throwing clothes out onto the bed.

"Or by hanging out with insulting people like you," Buffy muttered.

"I heard that, but I'm choosing to ignore it. You can't complain about boys not noticing you and people stepping all over you if you dress like that and act like that. You either embrace who you are or figure out what you like and what you want. So stop pretending like dressing nicely compromises who you are and show a little skin." She picked up the simple sundress that Buffy had worn earlier. "What about this?"

"I just wore that this morning when I was with Angel. Don't you think it's a little too much?" Buffy said, finally getting up and joining Anya in looking for a different outfit.

"Fine, fine. And you'll have to tell me how your date went," she said as she put the dress back.

"It was, well, nice. He's a really nice guy. He wants to see me again," Buffy said quietly, pulling out a pair of jeans. "How about these? They're those new ones I bought that aren't baggy."

"Good choice. Casual but stylish. So Angel is nice, but no major tinglies?" Anya said as she started to put back the discarded options.

"I guess so. Maybe they'll come later," she said while pulling off her sweats.

"Geez, Buffy. You wear those ratty sweats and a red thong? You are the weirdest dresser," Anya said.

Buffy quickly put on her jeans to cover her bottom. "I like lingerie. Makes me feel pretty." She put on a snug top that showed off her slim waist. "So are we done? Am I now presentable?" Buffy said sarcastically.

"Now, now, no need to get snitty. I actually have one more gift for you." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small box.

"Anya, you and Willow did more than enough for me. What else could I possibly ask for?" Buffy said, taking the box into her hand.

"Oh, you could ask for this." Anya watched while Buffy opened the gift.

"Pussy Pleaser?" Buffy shrieked, dropping the box onto the floor. Anya snatched it up quickly.

"Don't underestimate its powers. It's small, but it's amazing. I considered getting you a dildo, but we'll wait until you're deflowered." She opened up the box and pulled out the vibrator. "See, you just put in batteries—which I have generously supplied you with—and then you—"

"Anya! I'm sure I can figure it out. But I really don't think—"

"No, of course you don't. But you will. Just try it. We all get a little horny and frustrated sometimes. Even if things go well with Angel, you still might need a little Me time. And I know you love reading those romance novels. Might as well capitalize on what you do with yourself after you're turned on by those hot sex scenes."

"Anya, I—"

"Buffy, just trust me. Let me give this to you. It will open up new worlds. Don't say anything until you try it. Okay? Good. Now let's go." With that, she opened the door and began going down the stairs.

Buffy stood, stunned, until she finally realized what she had in her hands in front of an open door. She hastily put the new toy into the nightstand's drawer and then rushed after Anya.

***

As Spike sat on the sofa downstairs, he heard vague rumblings of the girls upstairs. He could've sworn her heard the words "thong" and "pussy" thrown between the two, but he wondered if he were merely dreaming. Whatever the case, he was going to have some interesting dreams starring Buffy, Anya, and a red thong. He grinned as his fantasies began to swirl before him.

***

"So are we all good with what's going to be on the Physics test tomorrow? Because I'm pretty beat with slopes and variables and formulas and oh god…my head's spinning," Xander moaned. "I'm only hanging on by the slimmest of threads, and it's only because you guys are carrying me through this class." He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples.

"Oh, Xander. It's not so bad. You know a lot more than you admit, Mr. Mechanical Engineer," Willow said, poking him in the side. "Stop pretending you're not smart. I can see right through you."

"Ah, Wills. If only I was as smart as you guys," Xander whined

"That's were as smart as you guys," Spike said, putting on his snobbiest British accent. He was greeted with a mass of pillows for his efforts. "And speaking of grammar, are we still meeting tomorrow after the Calc group to talk about our presentation?" he asked Buffy.

"Huh?" Buffy said, having zoned out while watching the gang bicker about exams and various school-originating stress. She'd been getting tired of all the studying and had begun to wonder about Anya's little gift.

"You know, our little presentation? Love? Cholera?" Spike said in a patronizing tone, his head tilted in an attempt to figure out where her mind had wandered.

"Oh, right," Buffy said, flustered, so much so that she even missed the opportunity to respond in a biting manner. Spike noticed this and looked at her closely.

"Are you okay, pet?" Spike asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

"Yeah, I’m fine. I'm ready for whatever you got. Tomorrow night it is," she said. Buffy still had a few chapters to go, but she was confident she'd be able to finish that night.

"Yes, tomorrow. Good thing I spent this morning productively, finishing up the novel," he said, his voice heavy with implication.

"Good thing I read so fast I don't have anything to worry about," Buffy said rather lamely.

"Okay, gang, I think we should call it a night, if you guys don't mind pausing the bickering for a few hours," Willow said, the last part under her breath.

Buffy glared at Willow, having heard her comment. "Yes, let's finish up. I'm pooped and ready as I'll ever be for the test." She yawned and stretched her arms over her head. As she raised her arms, her t-shirt slipped up to reveal a flat belly. To Spike, it looked soft and lickable. He glanced away before she could catch him looking at her and began to gather the plates and glasses that had piled up during their session.

"Whoa, Spike. Being helpful for once?" Xander said, amazed at his friend's actions.

"Well, we can't have Buffy's mom cleaning up after us every week, considering how much we come here. I'm a good boy when I need to be—but I'm bad when I need to be, too," Spike said, winking at the girls. Willow and Anya rolled their eyes, as did Buffy—but she blushed at the same time. She quickly began to help straighten the room, bending over to pick up discarded napkins and a dropped chip.

Spike couldn't help watching Buffy's movements, and he caught his breath when he saw just the top of what looked like a red thong. He looked to see if anyone else had noticed and—considering himself safe—peeked again. Yes, there it was, Buffy's low-rise jeans showing off the luscious scrap of underwear. Satisfied, he began whistling as he took the plates into the kitchen. His dreams would be good tonight. He heard someone behind him and turned.

"Thanks for helping. You didn't have to," Buffy said quietly. She had been surprised as well, not because he had helped but because he had started before she had. Usually she had to remind everyone to clean up. She tried not to let his presence get to her and came next to him to put glasses into the sink. "Are you sure it's not going to be too late tomorrow night to work on the presentation? We still have a lot of time before the first part is due," she said, trying to make conversation.

"You trying to get out of our little date? Afraid you're not going to finish in time?" Spike teased, leaning back onto the counter.

"Whatever. I was just trying to be nice," Buffy said, attempting to overlook the fact that he had called their time a date.

"I'm ready for anything you've got. Isn't that what you said?" Spike declared, clasping his hands behind his head, a smug grin on his face.

"You are so cocky," Buffy said, punching him in his stomach. Before she could react, he had caught her fist and held it.

"C'mon, luv. Isn't that what makes me fun? Everyone needs a little cockiness," Spike said, his eyebrow arched with implication.

Buffy pulled her hand away. "You are such a perv," she said quickly. "I think everyone's leaving." As she left the kitchen, she held her hands together, feeling the warmth of his touch and remembering the hardness of his stomach. Oh, if she didn't have such a weakness for abs she'd be fine, but unfortunately...

"I'll see you tomorrow, Buffy. And you'll have to tell me all about your date with Angel." Willow grabbed her bag and waved.

"Sure thing. Maybe I'll even have a note for you in the morning," Buffy said.

"Ooh, a note! Notes make me feel special," Willow said, excitedly. "Bye."

"Later, Buffster," Xander said. "Let's go, Anya."

"I'll be right there." She pushed Xander out the door. "Spike, aren't you leaving as well?"

"Yeah, I’m gone. See you ladies tomorrow." He strolled out the door.

"Finally. I just wanted to remind you about that little gift I gave you," Anya said, gesturing clearly.

Buffy grabbed Anya's hands in mortification. "Anya, please. How could I forget about your, uh, generosity in thinking of me."

"Well, that's me, the thoughtful one. You can write me a note and tell me how it was, okay?" she said perkily.

"Yeah, I'll think about it," said Buffy, pushing her out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye!" Anya said. She then ran out to the car where Xander was waiting.

Buffy closed the door and let her posture slump. She slowly started up the stairs and finally reached her room; with the door behind her, she collapsed onto her bed, grabbing Mr. Gordo on the way. She played with his ears while she recounted the events of the day. Her time with Angel had been nice, but the time she remembered most clearly was moment she had had with Spike in the kitchen. She tried to convince herself it was just because it had happened recently. Her crush was going nowhere, and Angel seemed genuinely interested in her. She decided she would stop dreaming and give Angel a decent chance.

When she finished getting ready for bed and finally found refuge in its covers, her mind wandered to Anya's toy. Might as well see what's so great about it. Buffy reached into the drawer and pulled out the pink contraption.

She skimmed the directions—she couldn't help herself—and then tried to think of a scenario. She imagined the kiss with Angel on the porch and tried to fantasize about how that would feel, where it would lead. Content that she had found a fantasy, she turned off the light and turned on the vibrator.

She laughed out loud when she felt it tickling her, and she had to turn it off. She looked at it closely, trying to figure out how to control its intensity. She began again at a lower setting, and the gentle buzzing stoked the fire was starting to build in her. Her mind began to play out the events of the afternoon...

"I had a really good time, Buffy," Angel said. He reached out to caress her cheek. "You're so beautiful."

She looked into his brown eyes and put her hand on his chest, a solid broad chest. Her hands wandered down to his waist, thick with muscle. Not thin and cut, but still muscular. She tried to quell her disappointment and moved her hands to his chest again. Her eyes fluttered closed as he leaned in to kiss her.

She felt his breath on her lips and then waited in anticipation. His lips were soft and gentle. She felt his hands thread through her hair and then his tongue slowly lick her. She opened her mouth timidly, unsure of what it would feel like.

Suddenly she felt his hands tighten around her, rubbing her back and pressing her into him. She felt his tongue stroke hers, demanding but not forceful, passionate but not intimidating. She felt her body begin to react and moved her hands to run her fingers through his hair. She felt soft curls and moaned into his mouth, loving the feel of the soft locks caressing her fingers. She leaned further into the kiss, her body pressing against his.

He moaned, feeling her soft body push against his hard one, and his hands began to roam even more. He stroked her ass and felt her breathe sharply. She began rubbing her breasts against his, making him even hotter. He broke away for air.

"God, Buffy, you're so hot," he breathed.

She looked up abruptly into Spike's face, his eyes closed in intensity.


"Uuunnnnggg," Buffy shot out as her body tightened in climax. She reached down to turn off the vibrator. It had definitely made her come faster, but she was still unused to the unnatural buzzing and pulsing it pushed through her. She lay back, her body worn out by the intense orgasm. What began as an Angel fantasy had become a Spike fantasy, and she had a feeling her orgasm had only started when she somehow knew it had changed. And seeing his face, hearing his voice—well, that had pushed her over the edge. "Great, I can't even have fantasies without him coming up," she grumbled. She threw the toy onto her night stand, turned over, and promptly fell asleep.

Ch. 7: Time to Put the Toys Away

Buffy stretched langorously, slowly letting the sleep fall from her body and her eyes. She had slept so soundly, her nighttime pleasure exhausting her and yet satisfying her. She threw off her covers and looked at the clock.

"Shit! Oh my god," Buffy moaned as she calculated how little time she had to get dressed and get to school on time. Throwing on her velour hoodie and sweatpants, she ran into the bathroom, washed and brushed, and ran out the door.

***

"Buffy, we were worried. Oversleep?" Buffy read the note written in Willow's neat cursive. In an attempt to calm herself, she inhaled and exhaled slowly, still a bit out of breath from running all the way to school and into the classroom as the bell rang. Taking out her notebook and textbook to look like she was paying attention, Buffy partially covered the note and began writing a response.

"Yeah, totally overslept. Anya's gift kinda exhausted me. :o So, no note for you…I’ll tell you all about Angel and the other stuff at lunch?" Buffy wrote quickly, making sure her teacher didn't catch her. She folded up the note and covertly passed it over to Willow, who was sitting slightly in front and to the left of her.

Willow read the note quickly and turned to give her a sympathetic smile, followed by a wink. Then they both began to take notes, letting the normal school routine overtake them.

***

"So, was the Physics test as bad for you guys as it was for me?" Xander said as he plopped into his regular seat in between Anya and Spike.

"Xander, hush. We’re trying to hear about Buffy’s date with Angel, and she’s not speaking very loudly," Anya said, irritated. She gave him a dirty look and then leaned back into the conversation with Buffy and Willow.

Xander looked over at Spike and Oz, received dual eyebrow quirks, and then began eating his food. "Girls. Never understand them, can't live without ‘em."

Spike snorted and then went back to surreptitiously eavesdropping on the girls' conversation.

"So, there were no smoochies?" Willow said, eager to hear all of Buffy's adventures.

"Well, he tried, but I chickened out. He got my cheek, and I think he was really surprised when I turned my head. I just wasn't, well, there yet." Buffy blushed and began to play with the hem of her shirt.

"Oh, so he didn't really turn you on much?" Anya said bluntly. "No good vibrations?"

"Anya! I mean, maybe next time or something. But I just felt like letting him kiss me so soon would've been, uh, too soon," Buffy protested, trying to convince herself.

"Buffy, if you had wanted him, if he had turned you on, if you had been attracted to him, you would've let him kiss you. Hell, you would've let him do a lot more, if your choice in underwear says anything about all those repressed desires you have," Anya declared, as if her words finished up the conversation.

Spike smirked at Anya's comment but quickly hid it by popping a fry in his mouth. He continued to feign boredom and joined in on Xander's paper football game with Oz.

"Anya, will you keep your voice down? Not everyone is as horny as you are, right Willow?" Buffy said desperately.

"Actually, when Oz and I first went out, I couldn't wait to kiss him. I think Anya has a point," Willow said sincerely. "But maybe you're just being cautious?"

"Exactly. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't want things to go kablooey on my first try." With that, Buffy got up to put her tray away.

"She's not interested. She's trying too hard. If it had been you know who, she would've been all over his body," Anya muttered, sighing loudly.

"Well, maybe it's for the better. Angel might turn out to be salty goodness eventually," Willow said, ever hopeful. "Anyway, we'd better go after her, see what she's decided to make of all this."

The girls said their goodbyes and walked after Buffy.

"So, what do you guys think of Buffy's new man?" Xander said, pausing their paper pastime.

"He seems sketchy," Oz said in his characteristically brief manner.

"Yeah, gotta agree with little man. He's a little too smooth and too tall and too stupid-looking. Can't trust those college boys around our girls," Spike said, trying to keep his voice even.

"I guess we shall see. Now seriously. Did you guys think the test was hard?" Xander said as he picked up his backpack.

"Nope."

"Nah. Sorry, Xan."

"Not at all?" he asked sadly as he followed his two friends out of the cafeteria.

***

"Buffy, wait! You didn't tell me what you thought of my gift! What happened to that note I was –"

Buffy quickly handed Anya a tightly folded note. "Okay? No more asking. I've gotta get to class, okay?"

Anya opened up the note excitedly and read, "You were right—lots of pleasure. Over too quickly. Will experiment more later. Stop asking!!!" She grinned widely and yelled down the hall, "Didn't I tell you it gave great pleasure?!? Tell me about your next experiments!" Anya giggled as she saw Buffy's frantic response and ran to her last class.

***

"Damn, that was a long day," Buffy said to herself as she plopped onto her bed after what seemed like an endless barrage of homework assignments and boring lectures. She knew she should be getting ready for the study group by cleaning up a little or at least preparing for her meeting with Spike about the book project, but she was too sleepy. She wanted to take a nap, take a bath, eat dinner, and then deal with all those things. She peeled off her clothes and crawled into bed in her panties. "I deserve this," she mumbled, letting her inexplicable fatigue overtake her.

She awoke two hours later to the sounds of her mom in the kitchen. Deciding she still had time for a bath, she gathered her favorite scented candles and bubble bath and headed towards the tub.

As she waited for the water to fill the tub, Buffy turned on a cd and swayed to the music while stripping. When the bath was finally ready, she slowly sank into the bubbles and lost herself.

***

"Hi, Spike. Here for the study session?" Joyce said pleasantly after answering the door.

"Yes, ma'am. Am I the first one here?" Spike asked politely as he entered the house.

"It looks like it. Did you want something to munch on or something to drink?" Joyce called over her shoulder while walking towards the kitchen. "I was putting leftovers away since Buffy slept through dinner. I hope she's not too sick. Buffy?" she called out as she piled food into a Tupperware. Not paying attention, she accidentally pushed the glass salad bowl off the counter, causing a loud crash and a dangerous mess. "Oh, no," Joyce cried out as she surveyed the floor.

"Are you okay? Can I help you clean this up?" Spike said as he moved towards the broken shards of glass.

"No, no, stay over there. I don't want you to get cut. Actually, if you could just go upstairs and check on Buffy, I'd really appreciate it. I can take care of this." She began carefully picking up larger pieces and placing them in the trashcan.

"Are you sure?" Spike asked again, not wanting to leave Joyce to clean the entire mess.

"Completely. Go on and tell her you're here," Joyce said, reassuring him.

"Okay," he said, turning to head up the stairs.

"Buffy?" he called out, while softly knocking on the door. "Are you sleeping? Your mom asked me to check on you. I'm not really that early," Spike said. Not hearing anything, he slowly turned the knob. As he opened the door, he knocked once again, a little louder. "Are you in here?" He opened the door fully, revealing a rumpled bed and a few clothes strewn on a chair. He continued into the room, not knowing where else to look. The last time he had come into the room, he had been distracted by Buffy’s undulating body. Now that there was little distraction, he took his time in surveying the room, trying to get a deeper glance into Buffy. Overall the room was neat, the bed made, the books on their proper shelves. The walls had a few posters and art prints on the wall--not the usual Monet prints but a movie poster of Amelie, American Beauty, and a few others, in addition to random smatterings of handwritten notes on the wall by her bed. He moved in closer to read them and found various quotations from books, including the opening line from their project book, Love in the Time of Cholera. "I love that quote," he muttered to himself as he quickly saw other lines from various novels. He smiled as he read one from Erica Jong's Fear of Flying when he bumped into her nightstand, accidentally knocking something to the ground.

He bent down to pick up the object and suddenly it began vibrating. He dropped it, startled by its movement. He bent down to look at it closely and then began smirking when he realized what it was. "Must have hit its switch when I picked it up," he thought to himself. "Interesting." He grinned once again, thinking of Buffy pleasuring herself, and slowly stood up, precisely as Buffy turned to close her door.

She moved in his direction while toweling her hair, humming to herself, when she suddenly saw Spike. She was rendered speechless, completely unsure of what to do.

Spike was quiet as well, but more in response to her shapely legs shown off by the short robe she was wearing. She smelled fresh, her skin still vibrant from her bath. He was so overwhelmed by the sight and scent of her that he forgot what he was holding.

When Buffy could finally grasp the situation, she began to babble incoherently. "What are you doing in here? Why are you here so early? And in my room? Do you normally go into people's rooms when no one's around?" As she approached Spike, she finally saw what was in Spike's hand. Her eyes bulged, and she threw her towel onto a chair to free her hands for rescue.

"What the hell are you doing?" She lunged for the toy in his hand, hoping he hadn't realized what it was.

Spike finally awoke from his stupor and snapped his hand up into the air, out of her grasp. This was just too juicy of an opportunity for teasing, and he wasn't about to give in. "Am I not pleasing you?" he asked coyly.

"You asshole! Give me that! Who told you to come up here anyway?" Buffy yelled, jumping up and desperately trying to get back her possession.

"Actually, your mom told me to come get you. She wanted you to come down for dinner. To eat. If you're hungry. You can just go down." Spike's voice was low and his subtle emphasis on certain words only infuriated her more. She took to punching him as hard as she could, which was pretty hard. "Ow, luv. You've got a mean punch," he moaned, trying to move away from her onslaught of fists.

"I'm not going to stop until you give it back," she said, continuing her rage. Her anger was eclipsing her embarrassment at the moment; she felt indignation at having her room invaded and was doing all she could to take back some control.

Finally Spike caught one of her fists with her free hand. "You're gonna have to stop that," he said, starting to feel the power of her small muscles.

"I've still got one fist. You can't hold me down without giving it up," she said, putting her whole body behind her one fist.

Swiftly Spike turned her around and had her against the wall, effectively trapping her other hand and making her incapable of continuing her batter. "Come again?" he asked with a rakish grin.

"Fuck off," she spat out, struggling to get out. "You have no business going through my stuff."

"Honestly, I was reading your quotes. It was purely innocent. But then I bumped your night stand and this fell. Didn't you learn to put your toys away?" Spike purred, pushing his body again in response to her attempts to escape. He could feel her starting to give in and grew more aware of her petite body pressing against his, her robe starting to come undone in their brief tussle. He glanced down at her neck with its jumpy pulse, her breasts glistening with a mixture of bath drops and sweat, her face flush with embarrassment, exertion, arousal? The possibility called to him, and he felt his cock jump in response.

She felt the change in him, in his body and his face. She looked into his clear blue eyes and tried to figure out what had just happened, how she had gotten up against the wall with his body pushed against hers, how she was half-naked with Spike holding her vibrator. All these thoughts crowded in her mind while her pussy only thought of one thing. If he wanted to, if for some crazy reason he tried, she wouldn't turn away; Spike wouldn't get her cheek. Her heart beat accelerated at the thought, and she ached to taste him. She looked at his lips, lips she had so often seen in a mocking sneer or contemptuous grin, lips that she had dreamt about, lips that seemed to be coming closer and closer…

The phone rang, its cacophonous buzz corresponding to the sirens that were blaring in her mind. They both stopped, the air thick with hesitation and desire, each battling for dominance.

"Buffy? It's for you. It's Angel," Joyce called.

Buffy was still frozen, not wanting to move, not wanting to destroy the moment she knew had already passed.

Another ring pierced the air. Spike unwillingly moved to answer his cell phone.

"Hello? Oh, hi, Faith." Spike glanced at Buffy one more time as she moved to begin her own conversation. "No, I'm not doing anything."

Buffy tried not to sigh, her heart quickly constricting at what seemed to be a dismissal of their moment. She steeled herself and tried to brighten her voice. "Hi, Angel. What's up?"

Their voices rose and fell over the other, each attempting to momentarily bury the sensations that had so quickly surfaced.

Spike, finishing first, waited a little while Buffy animatedly chatted about upcoming plans with Angel. He walked over to the nightstand, put back the toy, and, seeing that Buffy wasn't even looking at him, left the room.

Buffy quickly wrapped up the chat, hung up the phone, and sat blankly. There was too much to think about, too much warmth still pressed up against her body, too many lost possibilities thumping her spirit. The hands squeezing her heart and the scent of bitter almonds quickly defeated her, and she curled into a ball on her bed, postponing her walk downstairs for as long as possible.

Ch. 8: Beautiful Words

When Buffy emerged from her room, she was a different person. Pride had usurped her Libido's power, who was now cowering in the corner, sucking its thumb for comfort. The walls had been erected; Buffy was determined not to be played by Spike, not to be a toy to him. In her fantasies it had always been about genuine attraction--love, even. She wasn't going to flirt around and be some kind of physical thing. That was for ho-bags like Faith. She had dressed for battle, putting on her lucky lace red thong, her favorite low-rise jeans, and a tee that showed off her toned body without looking slutty. Oh, she was ready. Nothing was going to make her fall into another situation where she wasn't in control. She walked down the stairs with purpose.

Spike looked up when he heard Buffy come out of her room and then quickly looked down again. She looked great, her outfit casual but so fitting, both to her body and her personality. She was never about clothes making the person, and he had always liked that.

As Buffy walked down the stairs, Spike didn't even make eye contact with her. His dismissal only lengthened Pride's term of power, and she walked even more purposefully. Her decision had been made--no more playing.

"Spike, do you mind if we postpone our little meeting after the study group? The project's not due for a while, and I kind of have plans. That's okay, right?" Buffy said nonchalantly. She would have to call Angel back and make those plans, but she was willing to take the chance.

Spike paused, taken aback by her change in attitude. Truthfully, he had been looking forward to meeting with her, just to hang out and not necessarily have a charged encounter. He, of course, had to play the indifferent one. "Fine by me, pet. Got people I can see."

There was an awkward silence, and Buffy's resolve began to falter--until Spike took out his cell phone and began making a call. She was about to say something snide when the doorbell rang.

Both silently sighed gratefully while Buffy went to open the door.

"Hey, guys. Ready for some studying?"

***

Later on in the night while everyone else was taking a break, Buffy ran up to her room to call Angel.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Angel. It's Buffy." She tried to sound eager and excited to talk to him.

"Hey, Buffy. Thought you had plans tonight?" His surprise seemed to give way to pleasure, and that made Buffy happy.

"Yeah, it turns out I don't. Are you still up for doing something?"

"Definitely. I'd love to see you. When should I come pick you up?'

"How about 7:30?"

"Sounds great! I'll see you then."

Buffy hung up the phone and reviewed her plans. If she timed things right, Angel would be arriving right as everyone else would be leaving, giving Spike a full view of Angel and her un-toyness. She knew it wasn't a word, but that's what she wanted. She wanted Spike to see her as a girl who wasn't just a toy, someone who was worth spending real time with, worth dating. She was tired of making small moments into something bigger, tired of convincing herself that that was enough. Angel was nice, and he saw her as someone valuable. That was what she wanted.

She smiled and let her heart focus on how happy Angel had sounded when he had recognized her voice. Keeping that thought close to her, she carefully picked out a mini skirt--part of the Anya shopping collection from last weekend--and a snug top. Her new outfit on, she soothed her legs with lotion and then bounded downstairs.

"Whoa, Buff. What's with the change in clothes?" Xander said, stopping in the middle of shoveling chips down his throat. Anya, disgusted, took the chips out of his hand while he stared at Buffy.

She blushed, playing with her skirt's pocket. "Oh, I'm going out after the study group."

"Hey, I thought you and Spike had to do that book project," Willow said, surprised by Buffy's change in clothes and plans.

"Yeah, well, guess I’m just not important enough for her," Spike said, feigning intense hurt. "I'll go find myself a girl to comfort me." He dodged Willow's punch and smiled broadly. "I did get a call earlier today--"

"From Faith? The new girl?" Xander interrupted. "She's pretty hot-ty. She's pretty haughty," he hastily mended when he caught Anya's look. "I mean, she's just so snobby. God, I hate girls like that." Xander looked over at Spike and slyly gave him a thumbs up when he thought no one was looking.

"Xander Harris, you better not be looking at that particularly ho-ish skank if you want any more orgasms for the rest of the week. And you know how good I am at giving--"

"You're the only one for me, An," Xander butted in, desperately trying to keep Anya from talking about their sex life. He felt he should be used to her blunt comments, but he just couldn't with Willow and Buffy around. Had it been only Spike or even Oz, he would've been fine, but there was something about having his sexcapades discussed in front of his friends from elementary school that seemed to embarrass him thoroughly.

Willow and Buffy shared a look of disgust at the mention of Faith. The new girl had definitely made a mark, and not a good one. She had come on to Oz and Xander, briefly, and had definitely marked out Spike for her conquest. Their active conversation and pool time at the Bronze had more than distracted Buffy, even while she had danced and chatted with Angel. Faith had pressed up her body to Spike's while they had shot pool, and though Spike had never responded, he'd never pulled away either. That night, after the Angel talk, the girls had all decided to hate Faith with a vengeance, Anya being especially possessive over her man.

While Xander was busy pacifying Anya, the doorbell rang. Spike noted how quickly Buffy bounded to get the door. He sighed, thinking about how he'd probably end up shooting pool at the Bronze or just browsing the bookstore tonight, since he had finished all his work in anticipation of having his evening filled. He busied himself with packing his bag and getting ready to leave to avoid seeing Buffy's face when she saw Angel.

"Buffy, you look fabulous." Angel smiled and caressed her cheek. He knew there were other people watching, and he didn't want to get rejected from a kiss with all these observers. He noted her blush with pleasure and smiled again.

"Hey. Come on in and meet my friends. Then we can get going." Buffy ushered him into the living room. "Guys, this is Angel. You remember, from the Bronze? This is Willow, Anya, Xander, Spike, and Oz."

Angel nodded, smiled graciously at the ladies and briefly at the men, especially Spike. Ever since they had passed each other outside Buffy's house, he hadn't liked him, and the feeling seemed mutual.

"Okay, let's get going so Buffy can go," Willow said, taking on the responsibility of leading everyone out. "Call me later if it's not too late?" she whispered to Buffy as she passed.

"Sure thing," Buffy said, squeezing her friend's arm. They hadn't had much time to chat recently, with Buffy's suddenly active dating life. She hoped to have quality time with her soon enough.

Quickly everyone left, and Buffy and Angel were left standing in the foyer.

"Let me just grab my purse and say bye to my mom," Buffy said, hopping up the stairs.

"Sure. I'll wait right here," Angel said, appreciating the way Buffy moved. Her outfit clearly showed off her supple body, and he was ready and waiting to draw closer and have a taste. "Ready?" he asked as she came down the stairs again. He offered her arm.

She smiled at his gesture and took his arm. "Yup. Let's go."

As they walked out to his car, she asked, "So what are the plans for tonight? You said you'd think of something?"

Angel waited for her to get in and then came around to get inside the driver's side. As he started the engine, he answered, "Actually, I was hoping we could go for a drive. It's supposed to be a really clear night, and there's a pretty spot where you can see the whole town."

Buffy tensed slightly, thinking about a night of just, well, sitting in a car. She knew Angel wasn't the best conversationalist, though there were moments, and she knew he wasn't thinking about the conversation. "But you decided you wanted this. You want to move on, experience something. You're not going to have sex with him or anything. Just a little something," Buffy reassured herself. "That sounds nice." She smiled at him and then watched the houses flash by.

When they reached the scenic site, the sun was just dropping over the horizon, creating a beautiful fusion of oranges and purples splashed across the sky. Buffy stared in awe and quickly got out of the car to see it without the glare of the windshield. Angel smiled as he saw her eagerness and pleasure. He grabbed a blanket and a basket from the backseat and followed her out.

"This is so incredible. I mean, I've always loved watching the sunset, but this is just overwhelming. I'm just…" Buffy's voice trailed off as she succumbed to the beauty instead of struggling for words. She stiffened slightly when Angel's arms came around her, but eventually his slow caressing of her arms calmed her, and she felt comfortable, almost at peace in the midst of such splendor and the ease of his large, protective body. They stood quietly for a while until Angel spoke.

"I have a blanket and some munchies. Do you want to sit?" He motioned to the setup he had put on the ground.

"Oh, that looks great." She kicked off her sandals and made herself comfortable on the ground. Angel quickly joined her, pulling the basket close. "Ooh!" she squealed as she saw the basket.

"Now, don't get excited. The basket is a little deceiving. It's just a few cookies and some hot chocolate in a thermos," Angel said, acknowledging the paucity of their meal.

"Oh, cookies and hot chocolate are absolutely perfect. I missed dinner today, and I'm actually getting hungry. Does the hot chocolate have marshmallows?"

"No, sorry. I've never really cared for those. But maybe next time?" Angel said, moving slightly closer and implying their continual dating.

Buffy blushed. "Yeah. Next time." She reached for a cookie while Angel poured hot chocolate. Feeling herself loosen up a little bit, she ventured to delve into the college boy sitting next to her.

"So what are you majoring in?" she asked as she took the cup of hot cocoa.

"Forensics. Like detective stuff. It's always interested me, and I think I'm pretty good at it. People tell me I have a hero complex or something, but I don't care. I just like doing good." Angel smiled, his face brightening in talking about his major. "Plus, chicks dig that. You know, Dick Tracy and Sam Spade and all."

Buffy smiled politely. She had noticed his excitement about his studies, but she tried not to think about his chicks comment. Something about the way he said it seemed too close to the truth, even if he had said it in jest.

"What about you? Where do you think you want to go to school, you young thing," Angel teased.

Buffy frowned briefly--her age had always been a sore spot for her; she was already young for her grade, causing all sorts of problems with driving and being the point of teasing for many, namely Spike. She brushed it off, knowing that Angel couldn't possibly have known. "I'm not sure where I want to go. I've always wanted to leave California, maybe go to New York or at least the East Coast. But now that time is going by, I'm not sure anymore. I guess we'll see."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't really matter where you go. College is great all over. Parties, hangouts, meeting new people--"

"And that whole learning thing," Buffy interjected. "Knowledge is a pretty important thing, too."

"You're so different. I've never met anyone like you." Angel moved to brush a stray lock of hair out of her face. "I really like that about you."

"I think that's a compliment?" Buffy questioned, unsure about the source of her "difference." Was it because she liked to learn? Because she brought up a different part of college? Her thoughts were swirling around, and she didn't realize Angel was moving towards her until right before his lips touched hers.

And then he kissed her. Gently, softly, tentatively. Buffy felt him holding back, waiting for her to react, and she appreciated the movement. She let the warmth of his lips spread through her, the sensation new and enticing. She felt his hands cup her face, and she let herself fall into him, her body starting to tingle all over. She paused to lick her lips, and Angel took the opportunity to taste her, to tangle his own with hers. The movement was electric, and Buffy gasped slightly in response. Gaining confidence, she moved to run her fingers through his hair, but found it a bit hard from styling. She played with his earlobe instead, squeezing it and rubbing his neck. Angel moaned softly in response, and it thrilled Buffy to be the cause of his pleasure. She leaned into the kiss more, becoming more adventurous with her tongue, though it still seemed awkward, and her hands, though she wasn't sure where to go.

"God, Buffy," Angel moaned as he broke their kiss for air. He pulled her body closer and began kissing her ear and neck.

"Oh," Buffy gasped, the skin extremely sensitive to this new touch. She felt herself getting wet and squirmed to move closer. Angel responded by pulling her onto his lap. The position made Buffy aware of his arousal, and this knowledge empowered her, gave her more confidence in her actions. As Angel continued to kiss her neck, she began to suck on his earlobe. Her ministrations brought about more groaning and faster breathing, until she felt one hand brushing her breast and another brushing her thigh. She stopped, not wanting to go much farther. Angel noticed her movements and paused.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" Angel breathed, slowly kissing her neck again.

"Um, yeah. Actually, I just realized how late it was, and I don't want to get grounded," Buffy said, hoping she didn't sound too young.

Angel smoothed her hair and kissed her tenderly. "You're right. And I don't want you to be grounded, because then I wouldn't be able to see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, there's this great bistro that has an amazing lunch buffet. It's only on Tuesdays. I was hoping to try it out with you," he said as he played with her hair.

"But I have school. Remember?" Buffy said, moving to put the cookies back into the basket.

"You can't miss it just once?" Angel asked, looking deeply at her with his dark brown eyes.

"No, silly. But I can meet you in the afternoon if you want."

"Okay. I guess I'll have to settle for that. Buffy--" He paused, trying to sort out his words. "I really like you. Being out here, chatting with you, seeing how beautiful you are and how eagerly you look at the world--I really like that. Makes me feel new, fresh, carefree. You are, you know," he said, staring into her hazel eyes as he cupped her chin. "Beautiful," he whispered.

She looked into his eyes and believed him.

Ch. 9: The Mark of a Ho?

The bell rang, and Buffy sprinted through the door, plopping into her seat and avoiding the reproving glances of her teacher. Willow tried to catch her eye, but Buffy was too busy trying to gather herself together and focus on getting into school mode.

As the class continued, she saw a note dropped onto her desk from Willow.

"Where were you first and second period? And lunch? What happened? Are you okay?" Buffy read. She rubbed her eyes and wrote back.

"Yeah, long night. Kinda stayed out late with Angel. I'll tell more later?" She folded up the note and handed it back to Willow. She still hadn't told Willow much about her rapidly developing relationship with Angel, and she didn't much feel like it now. It seemed odd to her; in talking about her crush on Spike, she would spend hours and hours, making Willow begin to gag with the overflow of Spike homage. With Angel, she simply didn't feel like talking about him. She had a sneaking suspicion that Willow wouldn't like Angel much, especially after she told her about the last 24 hours. Amazingly, Angel had convinced her to skip school and have brunch with him. He'd picked her up at the time that she would normally leave for school, and they had spent the morning at the bistro he'd mentioned earlier. They'd eaten and chatted, and then they'd made out in his car. All the food and fondling had made her tired, and she didn't want to deal with the repercussions of her impulsive actions. Before Willow could make eye contact with her, she started taking notes and tried to lose herself in her school work.

***

The end of school finally came, and Buffy collapsed at a table in the library to wait for Willow; they were supposed to meet there to grab some books and then hang out at her house for some much neglected girl time. She buried her head in her arms, simply tired from trying to focus on what her teachers had been saying for the past hours--and she hadn't even come for the whole day.

"Hey, Buffy. You okay?" Spike said as he approached the girl curled up at the table.

"Huh?" She peeked up, saw it was Spike, and then mumbled an vague answer.

"What'd you say?" He smiled slightly at her mussed hair and weary voice.

"I'm tired. Can't you see I'm tired," Buffy murmured into her arms. She was not quite ready to see Spike, having spent the morning envisioning him while making out with Angel. It was just a little unnerving to deal with the reality; her fantasy world seemed more attractive at the moment. And of course, reality was laughing at her, making Spike want to talk when she didn't want to. She groaned at the irony when she heard him pull up a chair next to her.

"I know you're tired, but I was thinking we should probably figure out a time to meet, since you stood me up yesterday. Mrs. Noxon said she wanted all the groups to turn in a paragraph on what we were planning on doing for tomorrow, to make sure we had started the assignment. Do you think we could meet tonight? I could come over around 7."

"Sure. That's fine," Buffy said quietly, trying to avoid eye contact. She was too exhausted to figure out why he was being so nice.

"Where were you this morning?" Spike tried to ask nonchalantly, but he was actually concerned. Buffy had never missed a day of school, and she did look a bit unwell.

"I was--Willow!" Buffy said excitedly, looking for a way to get out of lying about her absence. She jumped up and gave her a hug.

Willow looked a little surprised but hugged her friend anyway. "Hey, Buffy. Hey, Spike. What's up?" Willow dropped her heavy backpack to the floor and slumped into a chair. "Too many books."

Buffy slid back into her seat and asked, "What books do we have to get? Is it as bad as you're making it out to be?"

"Much, much worse. Mr. Flutie decided to assign a research paper, and we have to have ten sources. Ten sources! It's craziness! I mean, doesn't he realize that, well, we don't want to find ten sources? Even I think it's a little much. And we also have that English project. Not to mention all the regular tests we've been having in Calc and Physics. I just feel like my brain is going to explode, and not in a good learning-makes-me-happy way. More like a too-much-studying-is-bad way." Willow sighed. "But we have to just throw ourselves into it."

Buffy rubbed her eyes and then her temples. "Well, then, let's do it." She threw her hair back and tied it into a messy pile on top of her head. "I've got my study hair. Point me in the right direction."

Willow and Spike just stared at her.

"What? What are you guys looking at?" Buffy began to grow a little self-conscious.

"Looks like I know what you were doing this morning," Spike mumbled to himself.

"Huh?" Buffy remained oblivious.

"Um, Buffy?" Willow ventured slowly. "You have hickeys on your neck."

"What?!? I do not!" Buffy tried to look at her neck but--obviously--couldn't see anything. Her face began to grow red, and her fears jumped when she saw Willow's face. Buffy leaped to her feet and ran out of the library.

"Buffy, wait!" Willow called out. She immediately moved to follow her but then paused. "Spike, can you find these books for me? Please? I'll be right back. Thanks." Willow gave him a neatly printed list and then ran out after Buffy.

"Huh? How did I get stuck doing research?" Spike shut his eyes, sighed, and then got up to start finding the books.

***

"I'm a ho! I'm a ho, Willow!" Buffy sobbed as she rubbed her neck, as if she could rub away the marks.

"No, you're not." Willow patted Buffy's back, trying to comfort her while trying to grasp how her kiss-virgin friend now had hickeys up and down her neck.

Buffy hiccupped. "No, you don't understand. I skipped school this morning to be with Angel. Only hos skip school to go meet their boyfriends. And I made out in the car. How utterly ho-ish is that?" Buffy sulked and whined as she splashed water on her heated face. "I don't even know what's going on. I don't even like him that much. You're right when you said it was only because he said I was beautiful. Now even that's not enough. But for some reason he likes me, and that makes me do all these stupid things. Like skipping school. What if my mom finds out? And what if she sees these things on my neck? How am I going to cover them up? And did everyone else see them?" Buffy began crying again, holding onto the sink for support.

"Buffy, don't cry. You're not a ho." Willow pulled her up and faced her. "You're not a ho. But maybe you should break things off with him. You don't need him to tell you you're beautiful. You are. But it doesn't sound like he's worth skipping school and getting hickeys for." Willow brushed away some of her tears and hugged her. "Don't cheat yourself."

Buffy held onto her friend and tried to still her crying. "I know. It's just hard, now that you have a boyfriend. You're so happy, and Oz is so perfect for you. We used to be together in the whole 'No one thinks I'm beautiful' whine. And now you have someone, and it's harder to keep that up on my own." She sniffed loudly and reached for some toilet paper. "It's stupid for me to make out with Angel. It's just that I never made out with anyone. And it did feel good. He was a nice kisser. He made me feel pretty. But I don't really like him that much. If he didn't like me, I don't think I would've given him a second look. And then that makes me feel even worse." She blew her nose loudly and then threw her tissue towards the trash can, missing it completely.

"Just be honest with him. And then be happy just being you. If Nerdy Willow can date Oz the band guitarist, then Puffy Buffy can date someone just as cool. It's all about being okay with being Puffy Buffy. Except you're not Puffy, but I was just trying to make the comparison parallel, you know, grammatically?"

"I love you, Willow, you know that?" Buffy said, her pout slightly less obvious. "Now let's go get some ice cream."

"Actually, I can't do it after school today. I just got a note from the office saying Mom wants me to meet her at her work to help her with some things. I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow?" she said as they exited the bathroom.

"Okay. I guess I can eat ice cream by myself." Buffy smiled and tried to get herself back in place.

When they returned to the library, Spike was bringing the last book to the table.

"You're the best, Spike. Thank you so much. We'll all benefit from this. I promise," Willow said, eagerly poring over the books Spike had gathered. "Oh, I gotta run. I'll see you guys tomorrow?" she said behind a large stack of books.

"Yeah, okay, Wills," Buffy said. "God, I hope she doesn't hurt herself." She then turned to face Spike, who was packing his stuff up. "Leaving?"

"Yeah, got things to do. Looks like you had things to do yourself," he said, his voice heavily implying sexual escapades.

Buffy flinched at the obvious insinuation, and it angered her, her emotions already raw from her crying and self-consciousness. "What the hell do you care?"

"I don't." Spike cringed a little when he heard the harshness in his voice, but the words had just come out as a reflex to her biting tone. He hadn't meant to be so mean, but she always seemed to bring it out in him, and he wasn't exactly happy that she had been messing around with that stupid college guy.

Buffy's eyes saddened for a moment and then hardened to a dark green. She narrowed her eyes at him and then spat out, "Then I guess this conversation is over." She spun around and walked away quickly.

Buffy walked straight out of the school, her feet pounding against the tiled floor. Her face remained hardened with determination to keep Spike from ungluing her, and she kept it up until she finally found herself in her room. And then she broke. She flung her body onto the bed and hugged Mr. Gordo. Her eyes were slowly filling up with tears, and she curled into a ball, allowing her emotions to wash over her. She was making out with a guy that she didn't totally like and fighting with a guy that she wanted and had wanted since the first day they had been seated next to each other. She was skipping class, getting hickeys, staying out late, and for what? For a guy who was mediocre? A guy who thought she was pretty? Buffy's tears increased as she reflected on the stupidity of her situation, until she finally fell asleep.

Ch. 11: Better than Ice Cream

When Buffy awoke from her emotional exhaustion-induced nap, she felt rejuvenated. Her dreams had been filled with Spike and Angel swordfighting and punching each other while Willow stood on the side, describing each of the outfits in her closet and its appropriate occasion. Oddly, Dawn was also there, whining and flipping her hair, hitting Angel in the face when he was trying to argue his point. She couldn't quite figure out what it all meant, but she knew one thing: this weirdness with Angel had to stop. She reached for the phone and dialed his number.

"Hi, Angel. It's Buffy." She tried to sound mature and determined, but in her mind she still sounded so naïve.

"Buffy! It's so good to hear your voice. I really enjoyed spending time with you today, you little skipper, you." Angel smiled as he reflected on their heavy petting session in his car; it turned him on to think he had gotten her to bend that straitlaced back of hers. He shifted the phone to hold in with his shoulder and moved his hands to slowly stroke himself. He wondered if she'd be into phone sex...

"Yeah. About that. I don’t think it was such a good idea, and I--"

"Sure it was," Angel interrupted. "We had a good time, didn't we? You sure sounded like you did," he leered.

Buffy mentally vomited when she heard Angel's lascivious tone; the thought of their make-out session only made her slightly queasy and not in the least bit turned on. His voice only strengthened her resolve.

"Angel, I just don't think things are going to work out. I mean, I'm still in high school, and I don't really want to skip school to make out in a car. I'm sure--"

"What? Are you breaking up with me? Why would you do that?" Angel was completely flabbergasted. He was assuming that the next date they'd be having sex, or at least oral sex. She'd seemed so eager to make out, and suddenly his hard-on seemed to go off.

"Well, were we even going out? We only went out a few times, and it's not like I ever called you my boyfriend." Buffy was starting to tire of Angel. They'd never really had great conversations, and this one was definitely bringing out Angel's arrogance. "Look, if you're trying to find someone to hang out with, then fine. But I'm just not really into skipping school for no good reason. I just feel like there should be more to two people than that." As she listened to Angel drone on about why Buffy was lucky to have someone like Angel, she started to throw her hair into a ponytail and get into study mode.

***

Spike was nervous, which seemed silly since he was just going over to Buffy's to work on the project. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He wasn't even sure she was expecting her, since they'd left each other so abruptly and angrily. After Buffy had stalked away from him, he'd thought about her words, his words, their interaction. He reflected on the night at the Bronze, when he had almost asked her to dance, his reaction when he'd seen her with Angel, his anger when he'd noticed the hickeys; after all his reflection, he had come to a decision: he was tired. He was tired of all their stupid spats and misunderstandings. Yes, she brought it out of him, but he allowed it. He was ready to apologize, work on their project, and hopefully have a comfortable time being in each other's presence. There was an attraction--he'd already admitted that--and there was no reason to make her get angry at him or vice versa. If nothing else, they could be friends. They already had most of the same classes and the same friends; it seemed stupid, his mind repeated, to succumb to their tendencies of yelling and biting insults. Armed with Ben and Jerry's, he rang the doorbell.

***

"Angel, it really has nothing to do with you. I mean, it does, but it doesn't. Does that make sense?" Buffy paused, trying to figure out how she could explain to Angel why she didn't want to see him anymore when she heard the doorbell ring. Cradling the phone in her shoulder, she walked down to get it. She opened the door and saw Spike.

"Hi, Buffy. I--" Spike was cut off by Buffy's hand and continuation of what seemed to be a heated exchange.

"Angel, that's not what I'm saying," Buffy retorted, exasperated. She was completely frustrated by his inability to understand her, and now she was utterly confused by Spike's presence at the door. She beckoned him to come in, hoping to finish the conversation before moving on to the next issue at hand.

Spike stepped into the foyer, his eyebrow cocked while listening to the animated discussion Buffy was having with Angel. It didn't sound good, and that pleased him. He followed Buffy into the living room and sat on the couch, leaving his backpack and ice cream on the coffee table.

"God, Angel, would you please just listen to what I'm saying? I just don't think I want to be in a relationship with a college guy. I'm sure you’re right in saying that lots of girls would love to date a college guy, but I'm just not one of them."

Angel was livid. He had flattered the girl, did the whole picnic thing, bought her brunch at an expensive restaurant, and she had the nerve to tell him she wasn't interested? He was at a total loss for words.

"Hello?" Buffy waited for his response. Frankly, she was tired of the conversation, of Angel, of her own behavior with him. It was all starting to leave a bad taste in her mouth.

"You know what? If you don't want to be with me, fine. I'm sure there are tons of other high school girls who are more than willing to take your place," Angel spat out, hoping his words would make her reconsider.

"You're completely right. And hey, why not try some college girls? There's a thought. Bye, Angel." She hung up the phone before he could make her wait five minutes for a dull response. She closed her eyes, as if cutting off her vision would make the world she'd created disappear.

"Buffy? You okay?"

Spike's voice broke in and reminded her of the next item on the agenda.

"Spike." She tried to make her voice sound angry, or even annoyed, but she only succeeded in sounding tired. Even drudging up his harsh words from earlier didn't get her blood boiling; Angel had already done that on his own, and she didn't have any more in her. However, persistence was key, and she stirred up the dregs. "What the hell do you want?"

Spike closed his eyes, breathed in, clenched his jaw, and then slowly looked at her. "Look, I know you weren't expecting me, and I know we get a little heated when we're together, so let me just say my piece without interrupting me. Please," he said, looking straight at her with his piercing blue eyes.

Buffy could only nod, taken aback by the seriousness of his voice and face.

"I wanted to apologize for my words earlier today. I don't know why I say those things to you. I don't mean them...You just say these things and I have to react, you know? Like it's the natural thing for me to do. I think we both tend to do that, because you've thrown a few mean things my way as well. But, if we could call it a truce, even if it's just so we get through this project alive, I'd appreciate it." He held out a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip.

Buffy's eyes widened at the ice cream and then looked up at him. And promptly burst into tears.

Spike was completely mystified. He'd braced himself for a biting comment or even an evil eye, but never had he even dreamed she'd cry. He moved forward and gently patted her on the back, hoping that his movements--awkward because of the pint of Ben and Jerry's--were at least remotely comforting.

Buffy felt pretty stupid, crying upon seeing a pint of ice cream, but she couldn't help it. It'd been a long day, and her body was tired of pretending everything was okay. She'd never imagined she'd be crying against Spike's warm and muscular chest (she was crying but not completely unaware). Attempting to regroup, she pulled herself up and breathed in slowly.

"I'm sorry," she said slowly, wiping away her tears. "It's been, well, a pretty shitty day." She smiled as he once again offered her ice cream, and she took it and the plastic spoon. Moving towards the couch, she muttered, "Can't be angry at someone who brings you ice cream."

"Well, that's why I did it, pet." Spike sat down next to her and gave her a napkin while pulling out his own spoon. "Ice cream is the best remedy."

"Totally. How'd you know Mint Chocolate Chip was my favorite?" Buffy asked, in between spoons of ice cream and sniffs of tears.

"Well, what'd be the point of bringing you ice cream if I didn't know your favorite? Gotta be prepared," he said confidently. "Actually, I didn't know. It's my favorite, and I was just being selfish," he said sheepishly, spooning a big hunk of cookie.

"It's a good thing we have the same taste." She smiled and wiped her mouth. "And how'd you know I really needed ice cream today?" she said as she sucked on a large cookie, leaning back into the sofa.

"I heard you and Willow talking about it, and how she wasn't going to be able to today. And we did actually set a time for meeting tonight." Spike licked a drop of ice cream off his thumb.

He looked so cute and vulnerable, a boy who was trying to catch every single drop of ice cream. He heart flipped, and she began to blush. "Well, thanks for the ice cream. It was really really nice of you." She lowered her eyelids and sucked on her dry spoon a little. "And I'm sorry, too. I know I can be a little mean sometimes."

Spike watched as her long lashes brushed against her skin. Her tongue flickered out to lick the spoon, and he felt his insides melt a little. She looked so cute, her face flushed from the cry, hair messily tied up into a ponytail. She seemed so exposed--which made him want to protect her--but he was more than aware of how strong and independent she was. He grinned at this contrast and reached in for more ice cream, only to be met by her own spoon.

"Oh, sorry." They both laughed a little, as they had each gone for the huge chunk of cookie.

"No, go ahead and take it," Buffy said, pushing it towards his spoon.

"No, I brought it for you." Spike moved it against her spoon.

"No, really. I insist. Consider it a thank you." She removed her spoon from the pint and left it for him.

"Well, okay." He began to lift the spoon to his mouth when he saw her watching. He chuckled and began moving it towards her. "Really. You eat it. The longing is all over your face, luv."

"No, it's yours. Hurry up before it melts!" she said, pushing his arm away.

"You better eat it then. Your mom's not going to like ice cream on her rug." Spike moved towards her again.

"No, just--"

"Will you just eat it, pet? I'm trying to be nice here."

"Fine." She opened her mouth and let him feed her. Suddenly, the intimacy of the situation struck both of them, and the moment was left with Spike's spoon awkwardly dangling from Buffy's mouth.

He quickly removed the spoon and then wiped his hands on the napkin. "So, having troubles with the college boy?"

Buffy let out an exasperated sigh. "Ugh, Angel. I can't believe I made out with him." She viciously attacked the pint again. "Yeah, trouble. Like no more Angel trouble," she said petulantly.

"So your boyfriend is out?" Spike ventured, wanting to confirm the result of the conversation he'd eavesdropped on.

"Boyfriend? Why would you call him my boyfriend? It's not like we went out all that many times," Buffy countered, her emotions from before returning, making her face flushed.

"Well, I just assumed it was your boyfriend giving you hickeys. Ouch!" He rubbed his arm where she had punched him.

"God, you're such a pig. Don't you know you're not supposed to talk about those things with girls?"

"It was a simple question. And didn't your mum teach you not to hit people?" Spike retorted, his voice filled with feigned hurt, his lower lip slightly pouting.

Buffy stared at him and then began laughing. Spike looked surprised, completely confused about her outburst of laughter.

"What?" he asked, wanting to know what she was laughing at. "What?"

Buffy just continued to laugh, the ice cream in her mouth threatening to spew all over the floor. Finally, she gathered her strength and gasped out, "You're pouting!" She began shrieking again.

Spike glared at her and grabbed the pint of ice cream from her hand. "It's not very nice to laugh at people. For that, I'm finishing the ice cream."

Suddenly, Buffy sobered up. "No, no. I'm not laughing anymore. Really. Let me have more," she pleaded, reaching for the pint.

"Nope," Spike said smugly, glad to have the upper hand once again. "No more ice cream for you. That'll teach you to laugh at people." He grinned and shoved another spoonful of Mint Chocolate Cookie into his mouth.

Buffy continued to reach for the ice cream, only to be outstretched by Spike's long arms. "Please," she whined, trying to pout and look sorrowful while sneakily snatching for the container. He laughed at her lame attempts to trick him and continued to taunt her with large cookie chunks. However, Buffy was stubborn; she kept moving closer, and he kept inching back, until she found herself half on top of him in the corner of the couch, the ice cream held out above Spike's head and their heads within inches of each other.

The world seemed to stop, and the air simply hung around them in thick wafts of moist, minty breath. Buffy felt like she should move, not stay on top of Spike, break the awkwardness of their proximity--but his body felt really nice against hers, and he didn't seem to mind her weight.

Spike could feel his own heart battering against hers, and there was a small spot of chocolate on the side of her lips that he really wanted to lick off, but he wasn't sure how he'd react to it. Instead, he brought his hands down slowly, took his spoon, and dangled the last bit of ice cream in front of her lips.

Buffy automatically opened her mouth, not even thinking to take the spoon from him or at least move her body. She felt the cool taste in her mouth and let her tongue savor the delectable flavor. Her eyes fluttered momentarily, and then, finishing the ice cream, gradually shifted her body away from his.

Spike took the empty carton and spoons and put them on the coffee table. "Damn good ice cream," he said quietly, glancing at Buffy.

"Yeah. Damn good."

***

"So you don't think we should do a video? Because if we do some kind of video, then we don't have to perform in front of the class." Buffy was clicking and unclicking her pen, trying to think up something original but not too work-intensive for their project. After they had cleaned up their ice cream, they had decided to dive into study mode, which had turned out to be rather pleasant. Joking and working, they'd developed an easy rapport, making their time together particularly enjoyable, to the surprise and satisfaction of both.

"Good point, luv. I'm just tryin' to suss out who's going to do what. We can't have both of us on screen and behind the camera at the same time. Just won't work." Spike ran his fingers through his hair and tapped a pencil on his notebook, attempting to brainstorm new and crazy ideas.

"Hey, I've got it!" Buffy's eyes brightened, her idea making her face sparkle. "Why don’t we do a music video? Get a song that sort of conveys the tone of the book and then pretend we're VJs or something, giving a little bit of background to the thing. We could even do a couple of videos, to copy the different settings and tones and stuff."

"That's a bloody brilliant idea!" He jumped up and started pacing the room, ideas spouting. "I'm sure me and the guys could come up with something, even if it's just instrumental. And you and I could play the main characters, just with you changing your outfit or something for a different character. And we could do scenes outside and by the beach, and we could use the video editing machine at the library to fix it up, or I can just get Willow to help us out with her skills. Bloody brilliant," he said again, grabbing his notebook and furiously jotting down ideas.

"Yay, me! I am so brimming with good ideas." She grinned again, eager to get started on their project. "But before we start planning the nitty-gritty, let's get that paragraph written. Come on, I'll type it. The computer's in my room." She jumped up, grabbed her notes, and bounded upstairs, Spike close on her heels.

Right as they entered Buffy's room, the phone rang. Spike sat on her bed while she answered it.

"Hello? Hey, Wills." Buffy reached down to turn on the computer as she chatted. Spike kicked off his boots and sat on her bed, continuing his perusal of the quotes on her wall while making himself comfortable as he waited.

"No, I'm fine. Actually, I called him this afternoon. Yeah, and I told him it was over, whatever it was. And he was such an ass about it. So glad I stopped that before it became kinda ugly."

Spike heard the confirmation of Buffy's single-status and smiled to himself. Inspired, he jotted down a quote and taped it on her wall.

"Yeah, I know. But I gotta go. Spike's here, and we're working on the project. Yes, we are." Buffy quickly glanced at Spike, who seemed engrossed in reading the quotes above her bed. "Shut up, Willow," she whispered. "I'll talk to you later. Maybe tonight. Okay. Bye," she said. Buffy hung up the phone and then sat at her desk. "Okay," she said as she swiveled to look at Spike. " Let's get this baby over with."

***

"Yes, I think five paragraphs of explanation about cover the assignment," Spike said, exasperated with Buffy's overzealous response to the assignment. "She only asked for one paragraph. I think we're done." He stretched out on her bed and let out a huge, obnoxious yawn. "Can't even begin to imagine how long it's going to take when we actually start recording."

"You know what? I'm just trying to do my best, get an A. I thought we were working towards the same thing here. And get your feet off Mr. Gordo."

"Oh, is Buffy scared of Mr. Gordo being squished by my feet? Maybe I should just sit on him instead, stuff him in between the wall and the mattress?" he teased, pulling on the pig's pink ears.

"Why is that necessary? Do you enjoy torturing innocent pigs?" Buffy accused as she rescued her poor stuffed friend. She smacked Spike on the thigh and then began printing out the assignment. "Anyway, we're done. Sorry it was so painful for you," she said sarcastically.

"Hey, I think it's a great paper. I'm just saying that you didn't have to write a novel." He stood up and stretched again. "And I should probably get going."

Buffy turned around and saw his abs peek out from his raised t-shirt--a result of his stretching. She tried not to fantasize about rubbing her body against those hard muscles and grabbed the paper from the printer. "All done."

They both headed out of her room and back down to the living room, where all their books were. "So, you gonna hold onto it and turn it in tomorrow?" Spike asked as he packed his bookbag.

"Sure. And both our names are on it." She started packing her own bag as well to ready herself for tomorrow.

"And you're sure you'll be there tomorrow? No making out with Angel?" he taunted, just to hear her tell him they were over.

"God, will you stop? No more Angel. What are you, jealous?" she threw out, just curious and a bit hopeful about his reaction.

"Why should I be jealous? I'm pretty sure I know how you feel about me," he said cockily, throwing her a charming grin.

"Geez, cocky much?" she retorted, not letting the flush on her face fluster her. She began walking towards the front door, knowing that he was about to leave. Abruptly, she turned to look at him. "Thanks again for the ice cream. This was really, well, fun. And comfortable, once we stopped fighting. Thanks for making that first effort," she said quietly, fiddling with the hem of her sweatshirt.

"I've been meaning to, for some time. Make the effort. Knew we'd get along," he said sincerely, smiling softly at her. "Tomorrow we've got a gig at the Bronze. Come watch?" he asked, slinging on his backpack.

"Sure," she said as she opened the door for him. She felt the cool air against her face and welcomed it, hoping it'd steady her racing pulse. "See you tomorrow, Spike."

He reached out, touched her shoulder lightly, and then brushed back a lock of air that had been blown astray by the night breeze. "Tomorrow, pet." And then he walked to his car.

Buffy closed the door and then leaned on it for a while, still feeling his light contact on her. "What a strange day. Strange strange strange." She pushed off the door and headed up the stairs. "And why is he so damn hot?" she muttered.

She threw off her sweatshirt and flopped onto her bed. After resting her eyes for a while, she looked up to be greeted by a new quotation on the wall. "He must have done that while I was on the phone with Willow," she thought to herself. Crawling on her knees, she moved forward to get a closer look.

"First fight. Then fiddle."
~ Gwendolyn Brooks
but what do you think she means by "fiddle"?

Buffy's eyes grew wide, trying to fully process what he was insinuating. She felt she should be mad, or offended, or something. But all she could do was fall back onto her bed with a silly grin on her face, his smirk accompanying her to sleep.

Ch. 12: Doors Opening

"So you totally broke things off with Angel?" Willow squealed into the phone, trying to hold the phone and eat ice cream.

"Yup. And it felt really good." Buffy licked the remains of Chunky Monkey off her spoon. The girls had decided to do late-night long-distance girl-bonding, just to keep up traditions. It wasn't their fault that Willow's mom was being unreasonable; the girls had to be resilient, and so they were doing their best to maintain sanity.

"That's really good. I didn't say it at the time, but I didn't really like him. He just seemed a little slimy. I mean, not slimy in that he went for you, but slimy in trying to get you to skip school and just make out in a car and stuff. Not that you're not worth making out in a car with, but just kinda slimy. You know?" Willow finished lamely.

"Yeah, I know. I guess I kinda knew he was from the beginning. And that's probably why I didn't really say anything to you about him, because I didn't want you to tell me that. But it was nice, having someone pay attention to me," Buffy said wistfully. "But now I can say I sort of had a boyfriend and I sort of dumped him! That's something, right? I can join the 'I've dumped a guy. Ask me how' club. Do they give out buttons or bumper stickers? 'Cause that'd be cool."

Willow giggled. "I'm glad you're back to Buffy goodness. I was gonna get a little worried if things with Angel got serious."

"Ah, Angel, my first love. Whatever. My first kiss, my first a couple other things, but not quite my first love," Buffy said flippantly. "Like I don't already have a first love," Buffy muttered under her breath.

Willow stayed silent, not commenting on Buffy's last sentence, assuming she hadn't wanted anyone to hear it. Willow sucked thoughtfully on her spoon and then asked, "So what are you doing tomorrow night? Do you have to meet with Spike to work on the project?"

"No, not tomorrow. He has a gig, remember? Are you going to go?" Buffy asked, not quite ready to say that Spike had personally asked her to go. It seemed too little to the outside world and so major to her inside world; she wasn't willing to share that fragile piece of information.

"On a school night? Not sure if crazy Mom Rosenberg will let me out. Maybe if we say we're studying, and the Dingoes just happen to be supplying live background music?" Willow said hopefully.

"Sure thing. You can even say we're at my house. If she calls, my mom'll just tell her we took a quick break at the Espresso Pump or something."

"Your mom is so cool. You are so lucky," Willow said, her voice tinged with envy.

"Yeah, well, you have a cool boyfriend. So there," Buffy retorted.

"Yeah, I do." Willow giggled. "Ugh, I think I'm going to have to stop eating." Willow groaned into the phone.

"Yeah, me, too." This being her second ice cream binge of the day, she was starting to feel a little sick. She had a niggling feeling, that she should share her little ice cream moment with Spike, but she wasn't ready to share that yet either. "Okay, I guess we'll call it a night, then? And tomorrow I promise to be at school on time."

"Okay, I'm holding you to that promise. See you tomorrow morning?"

"Yup. Goodnight, Wills."

"Goodnight."

***

The next day passed uneventfully, aside from Xander's little nap during Physics--which was quickly ended when he woke himself up when he, well, cut something smelly. It was not one of his shining moments.

The afternoon passed eagerly, with Buffy and Willow both getting ready for the gig at the Bronze--each dressing for a particular man, though Willow was obviously more open about hers.

"I feel kinda naughty, lying to my parents and sneaking to a concert," Willow said excitedly.

"Um, if we were going more than 10 minutes from my house, and if we were seeing a band that you didn't see every week, it might be a little naughty. But I don't think this counts," Buffy teased as she threw on a mini skirt--the third outfit in eight minutes.

"Ruin my fun, why don't you. We don't all skip school to make out in--oomph!" Willow's taunts were cut off by a viciously thrown sweater. "Hey! God, are you changing again?"

"Look, I just want to look good, you know, now that I'm on the market again." Buffy turned to look in her closet again to hide her blush. She really did want to look good, hot even. She had no idea if Spike meant anything by the invitation, but she wanted him to stop and look this time. She'd never thought clothes made much of a difference till Angel had shown his interest. Now she wanted to use everything in her repertoire to gain Spike's attention, since her words tended to be less than effective and often counterproductive.

"Are you ready? I thought we could get there early, maybe eat a little and watch them set up," Willow said as she brushed her hair.

"Yes, I think I am finally ready." Buffy pulled on a pair of leather pants, a form-fitting tank with a cowl neck, and boots. Putting on her earrings and giving her hair a final fluff, she turned to Willow. "Do I look okay?"

Willow turned to her with a critical eye. "Yes. Are you thinking you might see Angel? Is that why you're going all out?"

Buffy latched on to Willow's excuse. "Yes. That--That's exactly what I'm doing. Gotta make him see what he no longer has, you know?"

"Well, you look awesome. Let's go get 'em."

***

Buffy was enjoying herself, letting the music spin over her. She and Willow were bouncing around to the music, not caring what they looked like or who they were bumping into in the process. She was laughing and grinning madly when she happened to glance at the edge of the dance floor. Her smile slowly faded when she saw Angel making out with Faith, her flexible body straddled and draped over Angel's, his hands roaming all over her voluptuous body. As the music ended, Buffy walked, dazed, over to their table and sat down.

"What, Buffy? A minute ago, you were all bouncy. And now..." Willow's voice trailed off as she followed her friend's gaze. "Oh. Gross. What a slut," Willow said contemptuously.

"Yeah, well. Guess I was just first in a line of high school girls for him." Buffy picked at a napkin.

"You want me to get you something? I'll get you something red and sparkly. It'll bring back that smile. That stupid boy isn't worth frowning over. You want me to kick him while I'm going over there?" Willow asked, putting her loyal-best-friend look on her face.

Buffy smiled slightly. "No big. I dumped him, remember? A drink would be great." She watched as her friend walked away, leaving her alone at the table. As much as she was enjoying herself with Willow, the night was not quite matching her expectations. Though Spike had personally invited her, he had yet to come and talk to her, aside from the casual banter with the entire group. He'd said hi, but it wasn't anything special, as hard as she tried to imagine something beyond. She glanced over at Angel and Faith again, going at it like they had their own private hotel room--make that motel room. Not that she even cared that Angel had moved on--it was more that he had dismissed her so easily. Of course, she had done the same to him, but she didn't really care much about how he felt. Letting a disgusted sigh slip from her lips, she glared at the couple again.

"Guess he likes the high school taste, though this one's a little lower class. Stupid wanker doesn’t realize what he lost." His voice was so close to her ear, tickling it with its purring low vibrations. Her breath quickened, his proximity warming her. She paused, savoring his voice, and then turned to answer him. But he was gone. A few moments later she heard that same voice reverberating through the Bronze, beginning the band's next set. Her skin flushed with excitement, and she leaned back into her chair, finally breathing again, a slight smile settling on her mouth.

***

"Great set, guys! Oz, you were awesome! Wasn't my boyfriend awesome?" Willow exclaimed, her face shining with pride. Oz brought her close and held her, saying much with his heavy gaze. Willow blushed and kissed him. "Are you ready to go yet?"

"Not yet. Gotta pack up the van." He continued to coil the cords and box up the mikes. "I can drive you home afterwards, but I was thinking we could maybe snack or something? Back at my house?" Oz quietly spoke with Willow, and they seemed completely caught up in each other.

Buffy glanced around, not wanting to be the third wheel, she said, "You know, I can just walk home."

"No, Buffy, we can drive you home. Really, you shouldn't walk home by yourself," Willow said quickly. She glanced at Oz, and he nodded. "It's really no big."

"No, Willow, take advantage of being out with an excuse. You wanted to be naughty. Be naughty," she teased, poking Willow in the side. "You know I've walked home a million times."

"Yeah, but it's a school night, and it's later than usual." Willow bit her lip, wanting to go off with Oz but not wanting to abandon her friend.

"I can take her home," Spike interjected. "I mean, I can walk her home. I don't have my car tonight, but I can easily walk from her place to mine. If that's okay with Buffy," he said, turning to her and looking at her fully, for the first time all night.

Buffy blushed and tried to speak nonchalantly. "Yeah, that's fine. I mean, if you don't mind walking home from my house."

Willow's eyes widened slightly, grinned, and then said, "Great. So then, we'll see you tomorrow? And if my mom calls, I'm in the bathroom?" She gave Buffy a quick hug and then whispered in her ear, "Call me later."

Buffy hugged her and whispered back, "You, too, you naughty girl."

The guys finished packing the van, and everyone walked off--Oz and Willow to the van, Devon to his car, and Buffy and Spike to the street.

The night was quiet and clear, stars shining and evening air cooling flushed skin. Buffy and Spike walked in silence for a bit, each incredibly aware of how they were not touching.

"So, you guys were good tonight. Couple new songs?" Buffy asked lightly, trying to make conversation to distract her.

"Well, they're not that new; we just hadn't played them yet. I have a few new songs in the works, but we haven't actually performed them yet." Spike glanced at the slim girl next to him. She was definitely hot tonight, her outfit clearly showing off her curves, but there was still a touch of girlish innocence in her face, her eyes, that sparkled and drew him in.

"That's so cool, that you write music, you know? I mean, I wish I could do that. Music, writing, stuff like that. Maybe that's why I think it's so cool, because I can't." Buffy bit her lip, trying to rein in her babbling. She could barely hear what she herself was saying above the loud pounding of her heart. Her palms were moist, and she wiggled and swung them, hoping the night air would dry them up.

"You know, if you want, I could play some of them for you, like a preview or something. I could use some feedback, have you tell me how it sounds." He ran his fingers through his hair and breathed in deeply, enjoying the crispness of the evening. The stars were brightly shining, and they made his insides fly with beauty.

"I'd love to. That'd be--yeah, I'd really like that." Buffy grinned at him and then went back to airing her palms. She looked up at the sky, enjoying the starry skies above. She'd always loved staring into the night, pretending she could fly through the skies and feel the wind pushing her higher and higher. "It's sort of painful, you know? The beauty. It's so overwhelming that it makes my heart feel a little weird, pained. I don't know if that makes sense at all, but that's just how it seems to me." Why she had said those things she couldn't say. Normally those thoughts were private, only written out in her journal, but the intoxicating air seemed to loosen her tongue and Spike curiously made her comfortable enough to say these things. She waited for his response, but he didn't say anything. Ashamed at sharing so much and scared that her strange thoughts had pushed him into silence, she reverted to shaking her hands again.

And then she felt Spike's hand furtively slip into her own, easily fitting into hers and warming her completely. She worked hard to keep walking, because all she wanted to do was fall into an astonished heap and giggle with giddiness. She kept her eyes on the ground and tried not to let her excitement at the simple gesture proclaim itself all over her face.

"Exactly, luv. Painfully beautiful," he murmured. Her thoughts fully echoed his own, and they began to swirl into the beginnings of a song. He couldn't say why he had decided to hold her hand, what had pushed him to finally make contact with her skin, but he had to. It was natural, necessary. And now that he had done it, he couldn't imagine it any other way, couldn't imagine that he could walk along the deserted street under the milky moon and not hold her hand.

She couldn't say anything, the tender caresses of his thumb rendering her completely speechless, in the best way. They continued in silence all the way to her house until the porch forced them to stop and speak.

Buffy turned to look at him, her hand falling from his. "Thank you for walking me home," she said quietly, glancing up at him, the coy effect of her glance further melting Spike's affection.

"No problem, pet. Knew we'd be good once we stopped fighting," Spike teased softly, gradually moving closer to her as he spoke. He'd watched her all night, dancing crazily and laughing freely, her body comfortably moving beneath his secret gaze; he hadn't planned the walk home, but he had known that the night would not end without his lips tasting hers.

Buffy's heart quickened again, if such a thing were possible. She glanced down again when she felt his hand touch his cheek. When his hand stilled, she hazarded a look at him and was caught by his piercing blue eyes. Like an intense storm, she found herself overwhelmed, exhilarated, and completely drenched. Her tongue unconsciously peeked out, as if to taste the rain, and then she felt him nearing, their breaths mingling, their bodies drawing closer.

His head bent down, and finally their lips joined, tentatively, gently, totally.

Buffy's mind whirled dizzily; his lips were soft and thrilling and perfect and spinning her into an eddy of pleasure and overpowering joy.

Spike's mind dove poetically; she tasted like the sweetness of summer after a shower, like honeysuckles on a sunny day, like fresh and cooling breezes at dusk with the sun falling into the horizon.

Both luxuriating in each other's touch, they finally broke for breath. Spike squeezed Buffy's hand and caressed it gently. They lingered for a while, and then finally he spoke.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then, Buffy." He smiled and then watched as she turned to open her door.

"Tomorrow." She licked her lips again and then smiled in return, watching him as he turned to walk home.

The door closed, but a different door opened, allowing a rush of emotions weave through the intricacies of each, moistening both with affectionate and hungry desire.

Ch. 13: Song for the Open Heart

"So, what? You just woke up one day and realized you wanted her?" Xander asked bluntly as he sunk a ball into the corner pocket.

"What? Don't be stupid. That'd be ridiculous," he retorted while lighting up.

"Not that I'm complaining. I think you and Buffy are great. I'm just curious where it came from. You never talked much about it before." He moved around to prepare for his next shot, which he promptly missed.

"Why do you try to make things so complex, when life is so clearly complex?" Spike asked as he moved to take his turn. He banked the ball and made a difficult shot. He sauntered over to make his next shot, an easy one perfectly set up; he missed.

"Why do you try to make things so complex, when life is so clearly simple?" he retorted, patting Spike on the back as he moved past him to shoot.

"Simple for simpletons like you," he commented, taking a drag from his cigarette while leaning back on a pole. "You know Buffy and I have always fought. But I guess I kinda liked it, like there was electricity, even though it was mean. When we finally stopped the fighting, the electricity was still there. He rubbed the chalk on his stick as Xander moved out of his way after missing. "Side pocket. And when I saw her with Angel, I felt something. Jealousy? Don't know. Just realized that maybe I should be a little more proactive and do something about it. For a while, I thought I was too late." He eyed the table to figure out how to maneuver around Xander's stripes. "Kiss off the 3 into the corner pocket. But then she figured out what an ass he was, and I got my shot." He swung the cue around his back to position himself for the final shot.

"Way to show off. You could just use the rack," Xander said, annoyed by his losing state.

"Nah. The rack's for pussies." He carefully cocked his arm and then made a clean shot, sinking the eight ball. "And that's game."

"So now you're all cocky? How do you know Buffy's gonna go for you? I mean, it's great that you guys kissed and all, but are you gonna make it official?" Xander asked, setting up the table for another round.

"Yeah, eventually. It's not like I don't want to or anything. It's just sort of weird, you know? I mean, call her up and ask her to be my girlfriend? Seems old fashioned. How did you get it with Anya?"

"Anya? Simple. She asked me. Simplicity, my friend. That's the answer. My advice is--" He paused, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. "Hold on. It's Anya." He turned away to talk to his girlfriend.

"Whipped." He finished setting up the balls and then strode to the other side of the table to break. He had already cleared half the table when Xander finally returned. "Yeah? What'd she want?"

"Uh, you in the mood for shopping?" Xander asked.

"What kind of stupid question is that? When am I ever in the mood for shopping?" Spike muttered. "Is that what she wanted?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to go to the mall for my birthday present. You want to come?"

"With the two of you?" Spike said, his tone incredulous. "No thanks."

"Come on, Spike. You gotta help me out here. If you're there she might not embarrass me as much. Two against one I might have a fighting chance. Please? Help out a fellow friend," Xander pleaded.

"Fine. But she's not draggin' me into any lady shops. I'd rather gouge my eyes out." He returned the cue sticks and balls to the bartender. "You owe me."

"I always do. Let's go." They both headed for Xander's car to pick up Anya.


***

"I can't believe you didn't call me last night," Willow complained, pouting. "Where's the love, I ask?" They walked leisurely through the mall, window shopping to put off their studying plans.

"The love was with Oz, last night, apparently," Buffy retorted, poking the redhead in her tickle zone. She laughed at the blushes, dodging Willow's attempts to swat her away.

"I see we're in a good mood today. Anything interesting happen that you'd like to tell your best friend?" she queried, innocence oozing from her green eyes. They turned into a small café and waited in line to get coffee.

"Well, I don't know about that. Do you have any naughty things you want to tell me? I'm thinking that we should go for a trade--not that I have anything to share, just hypothetically speaking," she teased, her eyes sparkling. Buffy wasn't used to actually having something to tell. She was dying to tell Willow all the details, but she could tell that Willow wanted to give as well. This time there'd be a fair sharing all around. After getting their coffee, they seated themselves at a small table by the window.

"There's no point in denying it. You know how bad you are at lying, and your face says way too much. So spill. I will if you will." Willow waited, anxious to hear how things had turned out.

"Well, since you asked nicely..." she said slowly, licking the whipped cream off the top of her drink. "After you guys left, he walked me home. And it was really really nice." Her eyes glazed a little, remembering how sweet he had been and how beautiful the walk had been.

"Hey, don't zone on me! I'm still waiting for the smoochies," Willow protested.

"Okay, okay. So we're walking home, talking about random things--you know me--and then he held my hand." She blushed, the memory still bringing flutters.

"Aww, that is so sweet! I can't believe it! Spikie's a big ol' softie!"

"Hey, you better not say anything. I don't really know what it meant to him, but I don't want this to be public till I get some confirmation. Got it?" she warned, pointing her finger viciously.

"Okay! Geez, won't say anything. Not even to Oz?" she ventured.

"No, not even to Oz. Just wait a little bit longer. Anyway, you haven't let me finish my story."

"You interrupted yourself! Go on."

"So we're walking home, holding hands, and then we get to the door. And I go to the door and turn around to tell him goodnight and thanks for the walk and all that--" she paused dramatically.

"And?" Willow asked, her eyes eager.

"And then he kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me, Willow!" she squealed, shaking her friend.

"That's so awesome! Was it good? I guess so," she commented, when they finally stopped bouncing.

"Oh, god, Willow. It was amazing. I know I don't have that much experience, just Angel the dork, but I thought he was a pretty good kisser at the time. But now? Man, he was nothing. This kiss was just, well, amazing. So amazing. God, Willow, I thought I was going to melt into a puddle and at the same time I just wanted to hold onto him forever."

"Good kisses. They are very important in life. I totally know what you mean. When Oz kisses me, I just feel like the world spins out of control and stops at the same time."

"Exactly. It was just perfect." She paused, taking a sip of coffee, her brow slightly furrowing. "The thing is, I don't know what we are. I mean, it's not like he asked me out. Life would be a lot simpler if he just, you know, came up and said, 'Hey, you wanna be my girlfriend?' No, he just kisses me and makes my heart drop into my knees and then says, 'See ya tomorrow!'" She pouted, resting her chin on her hands.

"I see your point. But did he say anything afterwards?"

"No, he just said 'See you tomorrow' and then left. You see my dilemma? I mean, how am I supposed to act now? And was it just a random hookup? Like, in the moment he wanted to kiss me but that doesn't necessarily mean that he wants something more? I know that some people do that--go to parties and make out and then are completely the same when they see each other. I suppose that's possible, but that's not really what I want. And I'll feel stupid if that's what it was to him, because I thought it was so much more than that, but I don't want to say anything to him because I don't want him to know that it meant so much to me--"

"Whoa!" Willow interrupted. "Slow down that train, Buffy. You don't know anything yet. Just sort of wait it out and see how he acts the next time you see him, which may be sooner than you thought," she said, observing the people outside the window.

"What? What do you mean?" she asked, her face questioning.

"Hey, guys," Willow called out to the space behind Buffy.

Buffy's eyes grew wide and her face flushed slightly. She waited a moment before turning around to see Xander, Anya, and Spike.

"Hey guys!" chirped Anya, her arm around Xander's. "What's up?"

Xander waved, and Spike nodded. Buffy's heart sank, noting that he didn't seem to single her out in his greeting.

Seeing that Buffy was still in shock, Willow took over. "We're just hanging, you know, before study group tonight. You guys gonna get something? You can sit with us. Pull up some chairs." She reached over to grab some of the empty chairs at the next table.

"Actually, Xander and I have to go check out Victoria's Secret because his birthday is coming up and I want to get something for me, but you know actually for him. That kind of thing. And Spike refused to come, so it's cool that we ran into you guys. Looks like you just sat down?" she asked, observing the full mugs of coffee before the girls. "So Spike can sit with you guys while we shop and then we can meet up with you afterwards. Now you don't have to blind yourself, Spike," she said brightly. "See you guys in a little bit," she called out while dragging Xander off.

"Uh, yeah. See you guys later," Xander said, his face completely flushed by Anya's comments and directness in making out their plans. "Later, Spike."

Buffy still sat silently, so Willow tried to see how she could make things better. "So, Spike. What possessed you to go shopping with Xander and Anya?"

Spike grinned and leaned back in his chair. "Actually, Xander and I were shooting pool, and then Anya called. You know how she gets when she wants to do something. Xander couldn't say no, and since I didn't have anything better to do, I came along." He shrugged nonchalantly. "What about you guys? Any particular reason for comin' out?"

Willow subtly nudged Buffy under the table, willing her to talk, grunt even. Buffy glared at her friend and pursed her lips, as if cementing them shut. Willow sighed and then put on her resolve face. She smiled at Spike. "Sorry you had to be subjected to Anya's whims. Let me buy you something. Mocha? As usual? Good. Be right back." She looked pointedly at Buffy before leaving the table, not allowing Spike to protest, which he was about to do.

Buffy's eyes widened in seeing her friend leave so purposely, and her eyes got even bigger when she saw Spike looking at her.

Spike was about to say something when Buffy leaped to her feet. "I, uh, want Willow to get me something else. Be right back," she blurted. He sat back, wondering what had just happened in the past five minutes.

"Willow!" she whispered fiercely, grabbing her friend's arm. "I can't believe you just did that to me!"

"Buffy, you did not just leave him alone. Go back there and talk to him!" Willow said, exasperated.

"What am I supposed to say? I was just saying how I didn't know how I was going to act around him, and then you dump me alone with him! That's not very nice of you," she accused.

"Just act normal. Talk about the test we're studying for. Ask about his next gig. Just get your butt back there before he thinks you're a total nut case!" she commanded, pushing her friends back towards the table.

"Fine. Don't want him to think I'm crazy. Oh, you have to get me something, because that was my excuse. Something with chocolate. I need the support." She thrust some bills into Willow's hand, took a quick breath, and then went back to the table.

Spike looked at her questioningly when Buffy came back to the table. "Got what you needed?" he asked as she sat back down at the table.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Got it. Needed a chocolate fix," she said as she began fidgeting with her napkin.

"You okay? Is something wrong? You seem upset or something," he said, his voice concerned.

Her head shot up, and she made eye contact with him for the first time. "No, nothing. I didn't mean to come across like that. Didn't get much sleep."

He cocked his eyebrow at her response, and she quickly said, "I mean, I was just reading a book and got into it and ended up sleeping later than I thought." She congratulated herself for thinking so quickly.

"I didn't get much sleep last night either, but not because of a book." He looked at her fixedly.

Buffy blushed under his gaze, completely incapable of saying anything comprehensible.

"What, no witty comeback?" he teased, leaning forward.

"It's gotta be witty to be worth a comeback," she retorted, challenged into speaking.

"Finally, there she is." His eyes sparkled with humor. "Was startin' to worry that your spark was wearing down."

"Maybe I just need the right stimulation--I mean--"

"Oh, I can give you the right stimulation," he murmured, giving her a meaningful look.

"That's so not what I meant, you perv," she muttered, her face red with embarrassment.

"So, your house tonight?" He smirked when he saw the look on her face. "For studying, pet. Remember?"

"Of course I remember. You're the one with the dirty mind." She went back to fidgeting with her napkin and looked up to see if Willow was on her way back.

"I was wondering, maybe I could stay a little afterwards? Take you up on that offer to hear some of my songs," he asked, almost shyly.

She stared at him, wondering at his sudden change in tone. One minute he was brash and confident, the next self-conscious and completely endearing in his insecurity. Her heart skipped around as he looked up at her in anticipation.

"Yeah, I'd love to hear your songs," she said softly.

"I'd love to play them for you," he responded softly.

They sat still, simply looking at each other, until Willow returned.

Buffy blushed again, wondering if she had looked stupid just staring at him.

"Sorry it took so long. Sometimes people should understand when the whole job thing is simply not working for them." She plopped into her seat and then handed out the goodies. "Chocolate-y goodness for you, chocolate-y goodness for you. Enjoy!" she declared, taking in the situation. No yelling or anger, which was always a good sign for Buffy. She smiled, satisfied that her little maneuvering had worked successfully.

***

"Okay, got it. Formulas? Check. Variables? Check. Brain? Uh oh," Xander said as he collapsed onto the sofa. "Nope. Sorry. Can't do it anymore. Must play video games. Must stop studying."

"Xander, hush," Willow scolded, throwing a pillow at his curled body. "We're almost done."

"Actually, I'm done. Xander, take me home," Anya said, packing her bag. "What?" she asked, all eyes looking at her. "I am done. There's only so much you can take of this, and there's no use in pretending that I can learn more or remember more when I can be at home, watching the Fashion Channel and making out with Xander."

"Such logic. That's my girl," Xander said, finally rising from his prone position.

"Buffy? Are you done?" Willow inquired, catching her friend's eyes.

"Well, it's not like I can go anywhere, so feel free to keep going if you want," Buffy said, exhaustion creeping into her voice. She subtly glanced at Spike while speaking.

"Spike?"

"Actually, I'm meeting with Buffy afterwards, so even if you're done, I'm staying," he said while stretching.

Willow looked at Buffy for some inkling as to why they were meeting, but the blonde suddenly became interested in her nails. She sighed, closing her textbook. "Fine. I guess we're as prepared as we'll ever be."

"And the tyrant lays down her whip," Xander jested. "It's been fun. Audi 5000 and all," he said as he waved goodbye.

"See you tomorrow," Anya called as she and Xander left quickly.

"Geez, was it that painful?" Willow muttered as she watched them leave.

"No, Wills. It's just difficult to study on a Sunday night," Buffy said sympathetically.

"Alright. Maybe I can drop by Oz's, since the night is still young," she said, perking up at the thought.

"Don't wear him out," Spike teased, rising to say goodnight.

"Haha. I can't help it if I'm a red-headed wildcat," Willow replied, her grin spreading across her face. "See you guys tomorrow." She waved and then headed out the door.

"Well, that wrapped up quickly," Spike commented as the two were left in the living room.

"Uh, yeah. Guess people just didn't feel like studying tonight." Buffy busied herself with putting away cups and chips left over from the study session.

"Hey, I'm gonna go get my guitar out of my car. Be right back," he said, walking towards the door.

"Sure thing," Buffy said brightly, trying to hide her nervousness in suddenly being alone with him. Once he left, she sunk into the sofa, unsure about how their little song session was going to go. She was a little peeved that he hadn't treated her any differently than before, though they weren't constantly fighting and he did subtly caress her hand when she'd given him a drink and had smiled at her when it seemed like no one was looking--but she wasn't sure if she'd imagined those things. The point was that no one else had noticed, and she didn't exactly want to be some kind of secret.

Hearing him walk up the porch, she jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen.

"Buffy?" Spike called out when he came in. "You still here?"

"Of course I'm here," Buffy replied, entering the room. "Where else would I be?"

"Well, the room was empty. Thought you ran off or something," he said lightly, walking into the room. He put his guitar down and turned to her. "You ready for--"

"You want something to drink? Hot chocolate or something?" Buffy asked, interrupting him. She wasn't even sure what he was asking about, but she knew she still wasn't quite ready.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. Hot chocolate would be great," he said, surprised by her sudden offer. Puzzled, he turned to open his guitar and pull out some music. Though he hadn't felt nervous before, her fidgeting was making him unsettled, hinting that perhaps she had just been playing around before and wasn't actually interested in him. The thought alarmed him, and he strummed and tuned his guitar to ease his nerves.

A few moments later, Buffy appeared with a tray of hot cocoa and some cookies. "Just in case you didn't get your fill of chips earlier," she said, placing it carefully on the coffee table.

"Thanks. This looks really great. Marshmallows and all," he observed, smiling at her. He noticed her blush and then felt a little more confident. "Sit. You don't have to play hostess with me." He patted the place on the couch next to him.

"You know me, Suzy Homemaker. Except not," Buffy remarked, easing herself onto the sofa. It wasn't as though they hadn't sat next to each other before, but the air just seemed charged with some kind of tension. She held her body tightly, waiting to see what he did next.

"So, ready for the test tomorrow?" Spike asked, trying to lessen the awkwardness that permeated the living room. He distractedly played on the guitar while chatting.

"Yeah, why not. I'm not that worried. But we should begin our English project--I don't want to fall behind on that." She absentmindedly blew on her hot cocoa.

"Another excuse to spend time with you? Okay, you convinced me," he declared, his eyes waiting to see if she would blush and then his lips curving into a grin when he saw it spread across her cheeks.

"Consider yourself incredibly lucky," she retorted, the flush on her face belying the cocky tone of her voice. "So, you gonna sing for me or what?"

"Depends on what the 'or what' is," he joked, beginning to feel more comfortable. He laughed as she attempted to hit him without spilling her drink. "Relax. Plenty of time for that later, pet." He winked and then straightened some papers on the table. "I did actually intend on singing for you, if you're still willing to hear me."

"Of course. I've got my listening ears on. You mentioned you wanted some feedback? What kind of feedback were you thinking of?"

"Well, the usual. Does it sound polished, does it call out to you--essentially, does it work. The first song is just one the band wrote together. It's supposed to be kinda upbeat and rockin. Ready?"

"Ready." She pulled up her knees and luxuriated in the excuse to stare at him without secrecy.

He began rhythmically strumming, creating a pulsing sound and adding percussion with the tapping of his hand as he moved up and down the guitar. Buffy found herself nodding to the beat, enjoying the way the music flew all over the place. When he started singing, however, she couldn't help but gawk. His eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back, his glee in playing completely apparent on his face and his posture. He looked completely content and incredibly sexy. She wanted to lean in and lick that bobbing apple in his throat, and the sexuality of the imagined action made her gasp at the thought. Hearing her, Spike opened his eyes to look at her, winked, and then went back to playing. Buffy could feel her body oozing onto the floor in a puddle of lust.

"You liked that one, pet?" Spike asked, the grin still plastered on his face. She had looked so innocent and yet had a lascivious glint in her eye, amusing him.

"Loved it. Really really good song," Buffy praised enthusiastically. If she concentrated on the music, maybe she wouldn't have to think about how hot he looked. Musicians just had it goin' on, she concluded.

"Really? No other comments? I mean, you have to imagine it with the bass and the kickin' drums with a little bit of bongos thrown in." Spike's face became animated in describing the music, and Buffy watched with the slightest tinge of envy.

"It must be really cool to be in a band. I mean, to have one goal in mind and to work together to create something. I've always wanted to be in a band," she commented rather wistfully. "But classical piano isn't exactly the thing that bands are made of. And I don't know how to play guitar. I think it's really cool that you play so well," Buffy stated frankly, her admiration clear in her voice.

"Secret dreams of being in a band, ey? Well, if you want, I could teach you how to play guitar," Spike ventured, warming to the idea of spending more time with her. "I don't know how good of a teacher I'd be, but I'm willing to try if you are."

"Really?" she said excitedly. "I've always wanted to learn, but guitar lessons weren't exactly high on Mom's priority list. I would totally be willing." Unconsciously she moved forward in her enthusiasm.

"And, I have a proposition for you. This next song I imagine with a female voice. I know you can sing--"

"What? No, I--"

"No, don't bother denying it. I remember when you ladies decided to go karaoke, and you all went up there and sang Spice Girls. Not exactly my taste of music, but I remember your voice." He grinned at the memory.

"God, I can't believe you're bringing that up--and I definitely am not a singer." Buffy hid her face in her hands, embarrassed.

"Well, I'm not saying you're a secret opera singer, but your voice had a distinct tone that I think would work well with this kind of music. Just give it a try. You can try it in front of me, and if you really don't like it, it'll just be our thing." He reached out to touch her arm in reassurance, and he began stroking her arm, enjoying the warmth of her skin. They stayed like that for a moment, Buffy still hiding in her hands and Spike slowly moving his thumb against her skin, enjoying the goose bumps that were rapidly spreading up her arm. Finally, she emerged.

"Fine. I'll try it. But just remember that this was your idea."

"No problem. I'll sing the song first, and then if you feel comfortable, we can sing it together." He placed the music in between them, moving closer so that they could share. "This song is pretty new. Actually, I wrote it yesterday, after I walked you home." He looked at her directly, smiling softly.

"Really?" she murmured. "Is that what kept you up?"

"Partly." He winked. "But seriously, I just felt, I don't know, inspired afterwards--our talk of the moon and the painful beauty and all. The music just sort of came to me."

"That's really, well, really cool. I can't believe I was there when inspiration hit. Makes me feel special," she joked.

"You are," he said simply. He reached out to caress her cheek, and then his hands returned to the guitar. "Here goes."

And then he began plucking a smooth series of notes up and down the neck of the guitar, creating a sound that seemed to capture the intoxicating mood of the previous night. He began singing softly, words of moonlight and beauty flowing over her and calling out to her soul. She closed her eyes and revisited the memory of walking with him, and Spike's voice echoed through her. It was so striking, the way his words and music melded together to fashion the perfect soundtrack for her memory. It ended all too quickly, and with the final note she opened her eyes again to find him staring at her.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Spike broke the silence. "What did you think?" he whispered.

"Incredible." She cast her eyes down, unused to his stare. She looked up again to see him still staring at her. Finally he looked away and began strumming his guitar again.

"So, you want me to play it again, or do you feel okay trying it out. I don't know how quick you are with--"

"I got it. I mean, it just seems so natural. I think I can try it." She licked her lips and cleared her throat in preparation.

Spike smiled. "We can sing it together."

He began playing, and Buffy came in on cue. Their voices blended together nicely, and Spike began singing more softly to let her notes ring out clearly. Buffy closed her eyes at the chorus, the words already memorized. Spike quickly switched to harmony, complementing the high notes of the melody. The intertwined notes created a stunning fusion of notes, and Buffy's heart leapt in hearing how well they sounded together. Spike's gravelly voice added a lower layer to Buffy's twangy soprano. She felt where he was going and easily followed him into the second verse and a repeat of the chorus. As their voices grew stronger, she felt an energy flowing between them, connecting them in the musical world they were creating beyond the physical realm. She felt herself flying along the notes, the words her wings. She could almost smell the night air and see the stars twinkling in the music. It thrilled her and made her shiver, sensing the intensity of the song.

Finally, the song came to an end, and Buffy and Spike opened their eyes to look at each other. Without words, they both moved towards each other until finally their lips touched, the final piece of the song.

Somehow the guitar disappeared, the music fell unheeded, and the two pulled closer to each other, wanting to feel physically the connection they had just experienced in singing together. Their touch was slow but deep. Spike ran his fingers through her hair, bringing her even nearer. Buffy clung to his shirt and then rubbed his chest, wanting her fingers to taste him as well. She reached up to caress his cheek and shifted closer, their legs intertwining. He broke off and began kissing her neck, savoring every spot of skin he could explore with his tongue. He heard her gasp and it only made him want more. He pulled her onto his lap, and Buffy instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. The movement pushed their bodies together, and both breathed sharply, the contact sending brilliant sensations through them.

"Oh, Buffy," Spike sighed, his hands rubbing her body and holding her tight. "God, you're so beautiful."

She simply moaned in response, seeking his lips once more. Their tongues tasted and probed and luxuriated in the new feelings coursing through their bodies. Buffy felt completely overwhelmed by her desires; she wanted to touch him, make him moan, keep those exploding lights constantly coming. Spike struggled to control himself; he wanted to possess her, envelop her completely and feel her warm body against his. Their kisses slowed, and eventually they simply sat in each other's arms, breathing heavily.

"You make me feel so alive," he murmured, nuzzling against her smooth cheek.

"You make me feel so much at once...I don't even know how to respond." She hugged him, afraid that letting go would make him disappear.

"Well, I like your response so far," he teased. "Hey, now!" His teasing had resulted in her tickling him, and suddenly she was on her back, trying to escape his torturous hands.

"Stop! Stop!" she shrieked, laughing and hyperventilating in her attempts to stop him.

"What'll you give me?" he dared, still poking her in her most ticklish places.

"Anything! God, anything!" she yelped, desperate for him to stop.

And immediately, he did.

"I'll have to think of something really good," he said seriously, his body above hers. He laughed at her sudden wide-eyed expression.

"You can't hold me responsible for things said while being tortured," she commented, slightly pouting.

"But then where's the fun in it?" he jested. He brushed her hair out of her face, her locks disheveled by their spontaneous tickle fight. He pulled her up and held her against his chest. Slowly their heartbeats returned to normal, and they simply leaned against each other.

"Buffy, um, can I ask you something?" Spike asked timidly, his chin resting on her head.

She pulled away and looked at him seriously. "Yeah. What?" She bit her lip, not sure of what to expect.

"I know this may sound kind of stupid, but I've been told simple is sometimes best." He took her hand, soft caressing it. "So, then. Here goes. Buffy," he began.

"Yes?" she repeated, her heart speeding up and thumping against her ribcage.

"Um, do you want to be my girlfriend? I know that sounds stupid, but I didn't know how else to do it and didn't want you to think I was just playin' you like that college poofter and so I --"

She silenced him with a kiss. Her actions surprised even herself, but she simply reacted; it seemed right. So she kissed him again, and again, and again.

"Yes."

He smiled, and she smiled, and then they held each other, basking in the security of their declarations.

"Good song," he said tenderly, rubbing her back.

"Perfect," she said, playing with his fingers. "Just perfect."

Ch. 14: Good Times

The group burst into applause when, the following day, Buffy and Spike together approached the lunch table.

Buffy blushed furiously and quickly sank into her seat. Spike whacked Xander over the head before sliding in next to Buffy.

"What? What? I'm just clapping for what has been a long time in coming," Xander defended, trying to dodge the blows that Spike kept at.

"And now you can go on double dates with us," Anya said excitedly. "And maybe even triple dates when Oz isn't working."

Spike's eyes widened for a second. "Planned orgasm conversations? Don't know about that."

"What do you mean? Talking about orgasms is fun. And Spike, you should thank me because I was very thorough in informing Buffy of--"

"Anya! We'll go with you. Just stop talking," Buffy interrupted, her face flaming, her eyes avoiding Spike's curious look.

Anya smiled, satisfied. "Good. Then we can go to the fair coming to town."

"Ooh, the craft fair? They always have really cool jewelry!" Buffy exclaimed, happy that they were no longer discussing her newfound knowledge of orgasms.

"And the candles!" Willow added. "Even though Oz can't go, can I come along? It's not his fault he has to work so much."

Spike and Xander shared a look of horror before glaring at Oz's smug grin.

"Sorry. Gotta work," he said succinctly.

"Yeah, uh, I think I gotta work too--Ow!" Xander rubbed his arm. "God, An, do you have to punch so hard?"

Suddenly Willow's face brightened, eager to share some gossip. "Ooh, did you hear the news about that ho bag Faith?"

"Faith? Ugh. I hope it's bad," Buffy muttered. She smiled when Spike squeezed her hand, trying not to show the electricity that ran through her with each touch.

"Oh, it's so bad, it's good. Faith's dad, who's a police officer, caught her and Angel doin' the nasty in the park, and now Faith is off in boarding school!"

"Whoa, sucks to be her. Oh well," Buffy said brightly.

"Wait, so Faith's gonna be traipsing around in a short plaid skirt and knee high socks?"

Multiple groans erupted from the table; Buffy punched him and threw a fry at him in disgust. He caught her fist the second time and kissed it gently. "Okay, you're forgiven." She giggled at his antics.

"And now that the novelty of your relationship has worn off--don't be cute like that. Makes me want to barf." Xander started making puking noises and bent over.

"Shut up, Xander," Spike retorted as he shoved him playfully.

Buffy grinned as she watched Xander and Spike--her boyfriend Spike--roughhouse in the cafeteria. She felt a sense of satisfaction warm her to her toes. She caught Willow's eyes, and they both smiled after the expected eye roll, both enjoying the relaxed mood of the group. Looking over at Spike again, who winked while pushing Xander's face towards his tray of food, Buffy sighed contentedly. "Yup," she thought to herself. "Life is good."

***

Buffy, Willow, and Anya meandered through the various stalls and kiosks set up at the fair while Spike and Xander sat at the flimsy picnic table gulping down chili dogs and soda. They had reached a compromise; as long as the boys were willing to do a few things at the fair, they'd be able to skip out on the shopping.

"So, how are things with you and Spike?" Anya asked while fingering a beautiful silk scarf. "Any good stories on him yet?"

"Things are good. Really really good. So good I'm afraid it's all a dream and I'm going to wake up to find myself fighting with him and secretly liking him from afar like I used to." Buffy twirled a fancy parasol that was on display. "I can barely believe he likes me."

"Oh, Buffy. You shouldn't think so little of yourself," Willow stated.

"Yeah, and Spike's had this fascination with you for a while. Xander told me," Anya said bluntly.

"Really?" Buffy asked, her face delighted. "I don't know why it's so hard to believe. I'm just not used to things going the way I envision it."

"So, do you think you'll go to Homecoming together?" Willow asked. "I think we might try and get a limo together."

"Yes. And we're even thinking of having a sleepover at my house that night. Do you think your parents would let you come?" Anya asked.

"A sleepover with boys?" Buffy widened her eyes in disbelief. "I don't know...I mean, I know it's not a big deal, but I'm not sure if my mom will see it that way. Wills, your mom's letting you go?"

"Actually, they don't know there are going to be boys. But the thing is, they're never in my business anyway. My dad's going to be away on business for two weeks, so my mom might end up visiting her sister or something. She knows about Homecoming and is glad she doesn't have to worry about me that weekend."

"Oh. But I don't want to do that. My mom's all in my business, and if she found out I lied to her, I'd get in a lot of trouble. Anya, is it a done deal?"

"Consider it done. My folks don't care, as long as we clean up afterwards. Go on and ask. We can get ready together, too. Have you gone dress shopping yet?"

"Oh, oh, me! I was browsing last weekend a little, and there's this great dress at the mall that I didn't get to try on. Do you guys want to go tomorrow or something?"

"I do, but I don't even know if Spike's going to ask me. I mean, the last relationship I had lasted a week. I've only been with him, what, 6 days? What if he ends up breaking up with me before then or something?" Buffy bit her lip nervously. "Maybe that's why I'm afraid of being too happy. 'Cause it might blow up in my face."

"Buffy, I'm sure he'll ask you to Homecoming. You guys made it official last Sunday? We already have plans to go bowling next weekend, and when we were talking about possibly having a Halloween party with a couples theme, he didn't flinch," Anya stated matter-of-factly. "I don't know if we're going to have the party, though. We'll see."

"Couples theme? You mean, like Antony and Cleopatra and stuff? People come as couples?" Buffy asked skeptically.

"Yes, and it would be fun. But Xander doesn't seem to think it's that great of an idea, and then we fought about it because I wanted to do it and he wasn't excited about it. Don't you think he should support all of my ideas?" Anya looked expectantly at the girls, waiting for them to agree with her.

"Um, well, maybe he just doesn't want to plan a party for Halloween. Remember when we were little and he got scared at that haunted house party we went to? He tripped over one of the cords for the lights and fell into that vat filled with peeled grapes and spaghetti?" Buffy snickered as she told the story.

Willow began laughing at the memory. "He thought he'd drowned in brains and eyeballs, and we didn't know it was him because of his ghost sheet!" she shrieked. "Oh, man," Willow cried as she caught her breath with laughter. "Poor Xan."

"You know, it's not nice to have these inside jokes and stories that I wasn't a part of. Just because I didn't move here till high school doesn't mean you have to make me feel left out." Anya huffed and started to walk away before Willow reached to stop her.

"Anya, it was from way long ago. And there's no way you could've known he didn't like Halloween. Buffy and I know because we've lived in the same neighborhood for so long, but he's never really told people," Willow reassured. "I mean, it's not the manliest thing to tell people you don't like Halloween because you fell into food," she said, trying to suppress her giggles.

"Besides, we don't need a Halloween party, because the Homecoming sleepover's going to be the best ever! We're gonna stay up all night and play in the pool and hot tub and talk about orgasms all you want. Maybe," Buffy added as a precaution, not wanting to go overboard in making Anya feel better.

"You're right! I don't have time to plan another party! The Homecoming one's going to keep me busy with getting games together, figuring out how to keep the parents out of the way, making sure everyone has fun..." Anya rambled on as she strode through the various stalls, no longer looking at anything in particular.

"Whoa, that was a close one," Willow joked, watching the now-confident girl walk ahead of them. "She's great, and she makes Xander happy, but sometimes she's just a little too much for me."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Xander's always liked girls who take charge, but Anya's almost out of control. And yet," Buffy observed as she saw Xander's face light up with Anya's approach, "yet he never seems to tire of her. That's cool. And it gives me hope, you know?"

Willow slung her arm around her friend, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Buffy, I'm sure he'll ask. Don't worry about it now. Just enjoy the fair."

"I know. I know I shouldn't worry about it. But--" Buffy stopped mid-sentence as something caught her eye. "Oh, Willow, look!" She fingered a ring on display at a sterling silver jewelry stall. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Willow leaned in to get a better look. "Ooh, so pretty," she said.

The ring was intricately cut with filigree edging, and its width was dotted with tiny flowers and hearts. The combination created an antique feel that had a modern edge to it. Buffy fell in love with it instantly. "Willow, I have to have it. Excuse me, how much is this ring?" Buffy asked the woman manning the stall.

"Oh, that's beautiful, isn't it? I made it so that the flowers, which are for friendship, and the hearts, which are for love, dance together in a web of lacey edges--the passion of the edges with the affectionate delicacy of the lace. Would you like to try it on?" she opened up the case while smiling at Buffy.

Willow whispered, "She didn't answer your question. I bet it's really expensive."

"But I have to try it on. It's just so pretty," Buffy whispered back. She waited while the woman gently wiped the ring with a soft cloth and then handed it to her. It fit perfectly and sat delicately on her finger. "Oh, it's so pretty."

Willow agreed. "It looks really nice on you. How much is it, ma'am?" She was not to be deterred.

"That ring? It's $49."

Buffy's face fell. "Oh, really?" She sighed resignedly. "I love it, but that's just too much for me."

"How about $40? It looked so nice on your hand." The woman took Buffy's hand and let the ring catch the sun's rays. It twinkled gaily, but Buffy quickly took it off.

"No, I'm sorry. I just can't afford that. Thank you. Your work is lovely." Buffy pulled Willow along and briskly walked away from the stall. "Didn't mean to drag you. I just had to get away from it before I stole it or something." She smiled weakly. "I might have to buy some pretty but much less expensive panties to make myself feel better."

"Panties? Did I hear panties?" Xander commented as he and Spike approached the girls. Willow slapped his arm playfully while Spike casually draped his arm around Buffy.

"You girls about ready to have some dinner?" Spike asked the group.

"Yes, I'm starved. But didn't you guys just have some hot dogs?" Anya asked curiously, eyeing Xander's expanding belly.

"Yes, we did," Xander said defiantly. "And now we're going to go get more food. Food good."

"Are we going to eat at that little café they set up inside the tent? It looked kinda cute," Willow asked, trying not to notice Anya's glare and Xander's refusal to acknowledge it.

"Yeah, we put in our names already and everything. You guys want to head over?" Spike gestured towards the colorful canopy in the distance.

"Yes, let's." Buffy grabbed both his hands and began leading him towards the tent.

"Actually, pet, you go on ahead. All those dogs, and all. Gotta visit the loo. Meet up with you in a sec, okay?"

Buffy nodded and then began walking with the others. Spike waved as they slowly made their way towards the café. Checking once more to see that they were gone, he quickly headed towards the stall with silver jewelry.

"$40 for that ring, you say?" Spike asked as he reached for his wallet.

***

"Night, guys. Maybe see you tomorrow?" Buffy waved as Willow, Anya, and Xander headed towards their car. She tried not to smile too much at the thought of Spike driving her home, her boyfriend driving her home. One day she'd get used to that, but right now she was still a little giddy. All through dinner he'd stayed close to her, caressing her leg under the table or rubbing her back or pulling her close to him--it was so comforting, the way he made her feel secure and natural when he was near. And she could do the same to him--he seemed to like it when she gently touched his hand or just leaned up against him. Buffy's earlier insecurities were slowly dissipating, and she was now basking in the light of having a boyfriend who really liked her. She grinned as he opened the door for her.

"What's so funny? Got a secret to share or something?" He climbed into his side and turned towards her. "What, no telling? Gonna make me tickle it out of you?"

"Depends on what you tickle." Buffy grinned goofily as she saw the shocked expression on his face. "What, you're the only one who's allowed to tease?"

Spike leaned forward, smirking. "Oh, you can tease. Just know I may not settle for just that." He curled his tongue as he settled back into his seat and started the engine.

"Drive fast. Maybe my mom won't be home yet." She giggled as he gunned the engine.

A few minutes later they pulled up to a dark house with an empty driveway. She had been kidding before about her mom not being home, but now it looked as though it were true. Her tummy began rippling in anticipation of what they might do in her mom's absence.

They quietly walked up to the porch, hand in hand. Buffy reached to put the key in the door when another set of headlights pulled into the driveway.

"Damn. She's home," Buffy noted, her voice slightly disappointed.

Spike rubbed her hand encouragingly. "S'okay, pet. Being secretive's half the fun." He chuckled as Buffy blushed while opening the door.

Soon thereafter Mrs. Summers followed. "Hey, Buffy. Spike. Did you guys have fun at the fair?" Joyce asked as she passed them in the living room.

"Yes, Mrs. Summers. It was a lot of fun."

"Oh, mom, there was this really pretty ring that I wanted, but it was too expensive. You wanna go back with me and buy it as an early Christmas gift?" Buffy called out as she followed her mom into the kitchen to grab some drinks. Spike smiled at his little secret and planned how he might give it to her. He wondered if he'd be able to wait till Christmas.

Buffy returned shortly with drinks, and she sat next to him on the couch. "My mom's making tea, which means she'll probably sit in the dining room and read a little before going to bed." She pouted slightly.

Spike reached out to touch her cheek. "You're so cute when you pout. We don't have to make out all the time to prove anything. I'm content just to be here with you." He grinned when she smiled slowly. "And there'll be other times." He gently kissed her mouth, a mere brush of the lips that was sweet and yet thrilling. "Like I was thinking October 27? You could wear a pretty dress, I could wear a suit, and we'd meet up and dance somewhere?"

Buffy tried not to seem too excited, even though her heart was throwing up little fireworks inside. "Are you asking me to Homecoming?"

"Depends on if you're accepting." He smirked a little at her obvious attempt to hide her smile. "I promise I'll treat you right."

"Well, in that case." Buffy leaned in and softly kissed him. "I accept."

"Good. Now what's this about a co-ed sleepover?"

"Anya's inviting the gang back to her place after the dance. She's got a really nice house with a pool and hot tub and everything." Buffy played with his knuckles as they continued to chat about plans. This, this hand-holding, back-rubbing, cheek-touching affection mixed with this other thing, this teasing and laughing and smiling and talking--these things were sliding happiness all over her body. She glanced up at him, watching as he scoffed at Anya's attempts to make Xander more presentable and passionately described his band's next gig, and she felt that warmth increase with every grin and laugh and eye-twinkle.

When he finally got up to leave, he leaned in and kissed her, briefly but fully. His lips delicately swept over hers in a way that conveyed such affection, such tenderness, and yet it hinted at deeper desires and hopes. It thrilled her completely. "Good night, luv. Sweet dreams." His voice was low and intimate, and she had to control herself from pulling him inside again and dragging him up to her room.

Buffy waved goodbye and then closed the door. "Yum," she whispered, before running up the stairs and falling onto her bed. Licking her lips, she replayed the kiss and the various caresses and smiles and winks from the day until she fell asleep, a contented smile on her face.

Ch. 14: I Feel Pretty...Damn Sexy

"Oh, Buffy, that one’s beautiful! You should totally buy it!" Willow squealed.

"You think? You don't think it looks over the top?" She turned her body to catch a view of the back, which had a sheer overlay covering a rather low back, slightly gathered at the curve right above her ass. The dress was black with a shimmery embroidered sheath, making it sparkle under the lights. Thin spaghetti straps held the dress up smoothly, the fabric falling gracefully to her knees and dipping slightly in the back.

"No, it looks fabulous. You should buy it," Anya stated, nodding her approval. "Spike will definitely love you in that."

"I can't believe I'm going to Homecoming with an actual date this year. I mean, no offense to you guys or anything, but this is the first time I don't have to pretend I'm more interested in the punch or the bathroom when a slow song comes up." She twirled once more in front of the mirror. "I'm glad my last dance is turning out so well."

Anya emerged from her own dressing room with a tight red dress with a plunging neckline. Quickly doing a catwalk for the girls, she added, "And the party afterwards is going to be awesome! My parents are giving us a lot more freedom, and since we're all couples, we don't have to worry about leaving anyone out." She smiled appreciatively at her reflection and then returned to her room.

Buffy began changing back into her jeans and t-shirt, feeling completely dowdy after having swirled around in soft fabrics. The girls began heading to the Espresso Pump for a coffee break.

"God, I thought I'd never find a dress. You know, when you're ready to buy--that's when you can never find what you're looking for," Buffy commented as she plopped into the plush wingback chair to rest her feet. Sipping her coffee, she savored its energizing warmth and sighed contentedly. "Now that I actually have a dress and shoes, I can just worry about the night itself."

"What's to worry? You have a date, you have a ride, you have a party to go to afterwards--I repeat, what's to worry?" Willow asked as she joined her in the cozy corner.

"Willow's right. I mean, last year was harder because you didn't have a date but still came out with us, and the year before that you didn't even come. This year's pretty much perfect. What?" she inquired when she got glares from both girls.

"You don't have to remind me that I was unwanted last year. I felt it the whole night," Buffy grumbled.

"Buffy, you weren't unwanted. It was just a different group dynamic. But let's not dwell on the past. You have a hot date and a hot dress. Focus on the good," Willow stated.

"Focus on the good. Mmm, Spike." She giggled.

"You called?"

"Spike!" Buffy exclaimed when she heard his voice behind her. "What are you guys doing here? I thought we were meeting at the movies?" She scooted over to let him perch on the side of her chair while Xander and Oz pulled up chairs.

"Well, we got here a little early and thought we'd just hang out here. What's this? Bags? Did you find a dress?" he asked, trying to poke into the shopping bags.

Buffy swatted at his hands. "Hey! No peeking! You don't get to see the dress till that night."

"Oh, but you'll like it," Anya reassured, grinning. "You'll definitely like it."

"Ooh, Anya's seal of approval. That might be dangerous." He laughed while dodging Anya's fists.

"So you guys all have dresses now? No possibility of just being naked anymore?" Xander chirped.

"Ha ha. You guys have it so easy. Suit, tie--what more is there? Have some pity for us. Pity enough to buy us some popcorn and Junior Mints at the theatre."

"What? That stuff costs a fortune!" Xander complained.

"God, Xander. Can you not be so cheap?" Anya snapped, rolling her eyes.

"Well, it is. It's insane, what they make us pay. You know it's overpriced," he answered, annoyed.

"Yeah, but you should be willing to pay. That's what the guy does--he pays for the girl. He doesn't complain about how it's overpriced and how the girl isn't worth spending a few dollars for," she retorted.

"Oh, did they come out with a new edition of the 'How to be a good boyfriend' manual? Guess I didn't get my copy, since I'm such a sucky boyfriend." Xander got up and walked away from the rest of the group, who had tried not to listen to their growing argument.

"Oh my god, I can't believe he's so sensitive," Anya muttered as she got up to go after him.

"Is our oldest couple having troubles?" Buffy asked when a few minutes of silence had passed.

"Nah, they fight all the time," Willow said, trying to wave away their dispute.

"Yeah, but it does seem to be more often and more serious these days," Oz noted, looking at the two who were heatedly talking right outside the café.

"Yeah, well, they've been together for a long time. I'm sure it'll pass." Spike smiled reassuringly at Buffy, whose brow was furrowed in concern. "But tell me about your dress. What's it like?"

Buffy brightened at the change in subject. "I want it to be a surprise! But I'll tell you the color, if you're good." She poked him in the ribs teasingly.

"Hey, I'm always good."

Willow and Buffy groaned, and Oz and Spike shared a slight grin. The group chatted on, and Xander and Anya eventually returned. Nothing was said, and they simply rejoined the conversation until it was time to head to the movies.

***

The night finally arrived, and the girls all gathered at Buffy's to get ready. Giggling, swearing, rushing, and waiting all swirled around the small bedroom where they were preparing.

"Can you help zip me up?"

"Is my hair falling? I swear to god if my hair is falling--"

"What time are the guys coming again?"

"Maybe I shouldn't do the earrings. Should I do the earrings?"

"God, I look great!"

"Where are my shoes? Are those my shoes?"

***

"I've decided something. The best things about Homecoming? One--getting ready. You know, the whole dressy girly thing with the nervousness of wanting to look really nice for your date." Buffy smiled coyly at Spike and squeezed his arm.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Willow responded as she toed off her shoes. "The dance itself is not really the cool part. It's just our excuse to get all pretty."

"Totally. I'm all for the way you guys look tonight." Xander gave a thumbs up to all.

"And two? This--the part where you go to someone's house and take the shoes off and kick back and enjoy talking about how people looked and how dirty the dancing was and all. And the whole not going back home is great, too, especially when we get to stay here with a pool and a hot tub." Motioning to the house and the surroundings, she smiled eagerly at her friends.

Anya turned to address the group, as if reciting a speech she'd prepared. "Okay, so here are the house rules. We have to stay in the pool house, because the parents don't trust us not to tear up the house, which is fine because then I don't have to worry about making sure people stay out of my parents' things--not that you guys would, but still. Plus we don't have to pay overtime for our maids because anything we mess up we have to clean up--which is rule 2. Rule 3 is that you have to follow what I say about sleeping arrangements and all that." Anya watched to make sure people were listening. "Okay. Xander and I get the bedroom, well, because. That leaves one couple for the living room and the other couple for the place right outside the pool house. Now, it's supposed to be a nice night, so the outside should still be warm, and we have the rug and blankets and everything. So, what's it going to be?"

"Actually, I wouldn't mind sleeping outside, if you don't mind," Buffy said, turning to Spike.

"Under the stars? With you? Sounds perfect," he murmured, his arm tightening around her.

"Cool. So Oz and Willow in the living room?"

They nodded, and Anya smiled. "Good. All set. So, swimsuits everyone? Not that we're going to swim right away, but just so we can get into something a little more comfortable."

Eventually, everyone got into bikinis and shorts and tees, oddly contrasting with the elegant hairstyles and makeup of earlier. They all ended up in the living room, sprawled on the floor and on the couch in an awkward circle.

"So, who's up for a game of 'I've never...'? Well, even if you're not, I want to play, so let's play. Yay!" Anya clapped her hands in an attempt to get everyone excited.

Buffy bit her lip, unsure of how she was going to feel about revealing such intimate details. The last time she'd played this game, she'd won hands-down because of her lack of experience. Now, with both Angel and Spike on her list, she was unlikely to keep all 10 fingers up. She hoped Anya wouldn't call her on it, but that was doubtful. Unfortunately, everyone else seemed willing to play; with a sigh, she help up her 10 fingers and shrugged her shoulders at Spike.

Spike smiled reassuringly and tilted his head at her, grinning at her nervousness. "Give me all you got, An," he teased, turning on his cockiness.

"I'll go first. And I'll start out easy, because I'm nice like that. Hm, but that might be hard for me. Let's see...I've never had sex in front of other people." She looked around and saw that everyone kept their fingers up. "Gee, no one with voyeuristic kinks?" She ignored the rolling eyes and shaking heads and looked at Buffy expectantly.

"I'm next? How about I go with an easier one, like I've never had sex before," Buffy intoned, knowing that this particular confession was not going to be a shock to anyone. Oz, Anya, and Xander went down to nine, but Spike kept all of his fingers up. She quirked her eyebrow at him in surprise, and Spike merely cocked his in return. Buffy noted this and reminded herself to ask later.

"So, the Great Divide has occurred. Let's get to the nitty gritty, shall we? I've never used an electric helper to have an orgasm." Spike smirked as he watched all the girls take away a finger. "Had my suspicions about you guys. Anya, have you corrupted everyone with your toys?"

"I feel the need to share my expertise, and Buffy and Willow both are quite grateful to me. There's nothing wrong with a little help," Anya retorted, her 8 fingers clenched in defiance. "Anyway, next?"

"My turn?" Oz asked rhetorically, buying time to think of a good one. "I've never--" he paused mid-sentence. "Wait, did you guys hear something?" He frowned and then crept to the open window that looked out onto the pool. "Andrew?"

His question was followed quickly by two figures sprinting across the yard, one with long hair flying behind her. Spike took off after the two figures, always up for a chase, while Anya followed shortly.

"Andrew! Get your ass over here!" she yelled at her little brother, her annoyance clearly shining in her tone. Andrew was notorious for videotaping her escapades and phone conversations, for blackmail purposes only, of course.

Spike tackled Andrew from behind, and Andrew refused to be caught alone, dragging down his partner with him.

"Dawn?" Spike noted with surprise as he caught sight of her flushed face.

The two peeping toms were dragged back to the pool house, Andrew whining under Anya's innumerable punches. "Ow! God! I'm sorry, okay? We were just listening. I wasn't taping anything! Geez!"

Buffy jumped to her feet when she saw her sister coming in with Spike. "Oh my god. You have got to be kidding me. Dawn? What the hell are you doing here? Does Mom know where you are?"

"Spaz much? What, you think you're the only one allowed to do co-ed slumber parties? I'm supposed to be at Janice's, and we were on our way over there. Andrew just forgot some things, so we stopped by. We happened to walk past here, and--"

"Happened to walk past the pool house? Why would you do that? It's totally behind the house, in the back, and if you were just picking up Andrew's things, you wouldn't come back here. Andrew?" Anya snapped, grabbing his arm.

"God, lay off the physical abuse, will you? So we were listening. What's the big deal? You should be flattered that we even wanted to hear about your lives." He rubbed his arm, trying to rid it of the red fingermarks.

"It's not like there's anything we don't know anyway, please," Dawn remarked, sulking.

"So then why don't you play?" Oz asked, completely unruffled by their appearance. His eyes sparkled a little with mischief that only Willow noticed. She stifled a chuckle.

"Not a bad idea. Since you guys are so eager to listen to our secrets, why don't you share some. Give a little, get a little," Spike commented, looking pointedly at Dawn.

She blushed furiously, trying to keep her nonchalant posture but failing miserably.

"What? Spike," Buffy whispered, pulling him aside. "I don't want to share my thoughts in front of her! She's my baby sister!"

"Buffy, she's not a baby. There's no point in pretending she doesn't know these things." He leaned in a little more and whispered, "And besides, she'll squirm a little and then run out. No point in making her hate you. She just wants to be you sometimes. Humor her."

Buffy sighed loudly and then turned to her sister. "You can stay, I guess, but nothing we say in here leaves the room." She plopped herself back onto the floor where they were all sitting and motioned for Spike to join her.

"See, that's why Spike's cool. I'm not a child, you know," Dawn said, flipping her hair back in boredom.

"Yeah, Spike's cool. All of you guys are cool. So, I'm in!" Andrew commented, falling into the circle, sitting Indian style and looking eager to participate.

"Andrew, I'm going to make your life miserable," Anya growled, returning to her seat in the circle.

"An, lay off. Andrew's cool, some of the time." Xander smiled at Andrew, trying to make the tension dissipate a little.

"Fine, but only because you say so and because you'll have to get me to release all this tension later," she grumbled.

The others politely pretended not to hear her comment and made room to accommodate the newcomers.

"So, since we've got newcomers, what say we make them answer the questions we already began with, and then make them go?" Xander asked innocently. The circle nodded approval, since they'd seated themselves in between Buffy and Willow, and quickly Andrew and Dawn were initiated. Thankfully, they both came through unscathed with ten fingers intact.

"My turn!" Andrew said with glee. "Hm. Well, I've never done a lot of things. How about, I've never received oral sex. Is that how you say it?" He waved his ten fingers in front and watched the rest of the fingers go down, save Dawn's.

Anya squealed in delight as she saw Buffy's finger go down. "Yeah, Buffy! You and Spike are moving along nicely!"

Buffy's face tensed and frowned, as she quietly commented, "Not Spike," while Spike shrugged and shook his head.

"Wait, you and Angel?" Willow responded without thinking. She covered her mouth with her hands, apologetic that she'd pushed the idea out into the open.

Spike tried not to let the idea get to him, but he'd never liked the college boy to begin with. He just looked down and played with his thumb ring.

"Whoa! Angel?" Anya shrieked, oblivious to the discomfort that was starting to emerge. She batted Xander away as he tried to shut her up. "Come on. You gotta tell a little. How come you didn't say anything? That's usually pretty noteworthy."

"Well, it wasn't. I don't know what you guys are talking about anyway. It was, well, weird, and very unexpected."

"Huh? It wasn't good?" Willow asked cautiously, unable to rein in her questions.

"No, it wasn't. I wasn't expecting it, and he just, well, all of sudden he was down there and I was like, 'whoa, get back up here,' and it was just weird. Didn't feel good, wasn't expecting it, done. I didn't do him, though that's probably what he wanted. Any more questions?" Buffy breathed in and braced herself for Anya's comments. She supposed it was good that she got it out; she'd been hiding the information for a while now.

"Well, all I have to say is Angel must have sucked, and not in a good way," Anya declared, as if dismissing him.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Anya. If it didn't feel good, he didn't do it right," Willow said, catching Oz's eyes and blushing slightly.

"Maybe I just don't like it," Buffy responded.

"And maybe Angel just wasn't very good. You let Spike have a go and tell me what you think. He's gotta be good with that tongue of his," Anya stated authoritatively. She laughed at the widened eyes of Buffy, Dawn, and Andrew.

"I think that's a compliment," Spike chuckled, curling his tongue for everyone's perusal.

"See? That's what I'm talking about. There's got to be talent in there," Anya said as she pointed to Spike's face.

Buffy pushed Anya's fingers away, her face completely red with embarrassment. "Moving on! Moving on, please."

Everyone then looked to Dawn, who still seemed a little shell-shocked but completely enthralled by the movements of Spike's tongue. "Oh," Dawn said when she realized why everyone was looking at her. "Um, okay. I've never given oral sex." She noticed that Buffy's fingers stayed put while everyone else had lost a finger. "You've never?" Dawn asked her sister.

"Nope. Angel may have pushed because he thought he was going to get some, but I just wasn't about that. Good thing, too," Buffy added, shrugging. She and her sister shared a smile.

"Andrew? You've? With who?" Anya yelled out, shocked at her little brother's active sex life.

"Hey, sharing's not part of the game. Buffy was just being nice about sharing, but the rules don't say I have to," Andrew said confidently. He happily held up his nine fingers and looked to Oz for the next turn.

Oz frowned slightly in thought, tapping his seven fingers on the carpet. "I've never been with someone of the same sex." He avoided Willow's glare as Willow, Anya, and Andrew put down fingers.

"Wha'?" Xander muttered as he saw his girlfriend and his best friend with one less finger up. "Huh?"

"Not with each other, though Willow is kinda cute," Anya commented, giving Willow a wink. "It was before we were dating, at this summer camp, and you know how those summer camps go."

"I do," Willow agreed. "It was just this one night when we were all sort of experimenting."

"You never told me that!" Buffy exclaimed, her surprise evident on her face.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I was dating her or anything. It started as a dare, and it was just curiosity," Willow commented nonchalantly.

"Mine was just because there were no boys around and we were horny," Anya stated. "But then I met Xander." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then turned to her brother. "But you--you've been with a guy?"

"Again with the no sharing rule," Andrew declared, shrugging his shoulders with a grin.

"Xander, make him share!" Anya complained.

Xander turned to Andrew and tried to convince him. "Hey, man, we let you in on the game, so you should share a little. Everyone else is, and you know what they say about peer pressure--good for the soul," Xander joked.

"Nope, no sharing," Andrew repeated.

"I can share for him," Dawn slyly interrupted, enjoying the look of horror on Andrew's face and the attention she was getting from everyone.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Spike said, his smirk widening. "What's it gonna be, Andrew? Are you gonna share or is Dawn gonna air out your undies?"

"Wow! Look at the time. Dawn, let's go." Andrew jumped up, took Dawn's hand, and dragged her out of the room, despite her protestations.

The gang all looked around at each other before howling in laughter.

"Did you see Andrew's face when Dawn threatened to out him?" Anya burst out between gasps of laughter.

"And did you see Dawn's face when Spike did that thing with his tongue?" Willow added while holding her stomach with laughter.

"No, but did you see Andrew's?" Buffy shrieked with laughter at Spike's sudden confusion. They all burst into renewed guffaws when he began blushing at their insinuations.

"Used to the women falling at your feet but not the men? You're lucky I haven't shown you the photos he's taken of you--remember all those times you came over to swim? Yup, Andrew's got lots of those shots," Anya declared, enjoying the look of shock on Spike's face.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about his crush. I thought Andrew had a crush on Xander. Guess both siblings moved from Xander to Spike?" Buffy teased, poking Xander's arm. "I mean, I had a hunch with Dawn, but Andrew? How long have you known? And why didn't you say anything?" Buffy demanded of Anya.

"Well, family has to stick together a little, you know. I didn't know for sure until one day I caught him with pictures from the pool. There was a whole folder of them on his desktop--stupid place to save them if you ask me. Anyway, one day I had to use his computer because mine was down, and he swore me to secrecy. But now that you guys all know, I don't have to keep his secret!" Anya looked relieved at this new turn of events. "You know how bad I am with secrets, but I managed to keep this one for a while."

"So is he out? I mean, has he come out to your parents and everything?" Willow asked, finally recovering from her giggles.

"Not yet. I think he's still figuring things out--he's got a little crush on Dawn as well, just not as big as his crush on Spike. You okay now?" Anya asked Spike, who looked like he was finally regaining focus.

"Just a little shocked, but it's completely understandable that Andrew and Dawn like me. I mean, I am pretty hot." He laughed and merely blocked the punches and pillows thrown at him. "But now that the kiddies are gone, we can get down and dirty with the game. And I believe it was Willow's turn, right?"

"Yes, it was. Are we really going to play till someone's out?"

"We have to, otherwise why bother?" Anya pointed out. She wiggled her five fingers up in the air again, as if to move things along.

"Okay, then. I've never skinny dipped." Willow noticed that Anya, Xander, Oz, and Spike all put down a finger. "Geez! What, did you guys all have a party without me?"

"Well, I wasn't there, if it makes you feel any better," Buffy muttered.

"You know, we can change that tonight, if you're interested," Spike commented, daring her with his tone.

"I don't know about that. We'll see," Buffy replied, clearly shaking her head.

"Well, worth a shot," Spike concluded. "Xander?"

"Looks like we need to move things along, right? I've never been with someone older than I am. Ha!" he yelled triumphantly as he saw everyone's fingers go down except for his. "That's right, who can top that?"

"It's not fair. I can only say things I've never done, and clearly I've done more than pretty much everyone here," Anya complained.

"Yeah, but you're still winning, or losing, or whatever you want to call it," Willow noted.

"Fine, let's see if I can keep everyone else from getting any more fingers down. How about, I've never had a one-night stand." Anya looked triumphant at all the hands staying intact until she reached Oz. "What? How can you have had a one-night stand? That's for college!"

"Well, if camp for you was girl-on-girl action, camp for me was a one-night stand," he said calmly.

Frustrated with his emotionless response, Anya turned to Buffy to continue.

Buffy hesitated for a moment and then said, "I've never touched myself in front of someone else."

Spike and Anya removed a finger. Anya only had two fingers remaining. With this in mind, Spike stated, "I've never fantasized about a teacher. Anya, don't even pretend that you're keeping your fingers up. We all know about your obsession with Mr. Kerns." He laughed as she pouted while losing a finger, but his mouth opened in surprise when he saw Willow put down a finger. "What? You had a thing for Mr. Kerns, too?"

Willow's face flamed and her voice faltered a little when she said, "Can't I pull an Andrew and refuse to share?" The looks on everyone's faces told her otherwise. "Fine. It wasn't like I wanted to have a dream about Mr. Cadman."

"Mr. Cadman? The gay French teacher?" Buffy exclaimed. "What kind of dream?"

"It's all hazy, really," Willow said quietly. "All I remember is speaking in French and eating Nutella. That's all I'm going to say." Willow looked down in shame while her friends laughed at her unease. Oz pulled her into a tight hug and reassured her, smiling. "Okay. Let's get Anya out of here, shall we? Oz? It's up to you."

"No pressure. I've never watched porn." Oz waited for everyone to fess up. And fess up they did. He was the only one to stay put; not even Willow was innocent.

"I told you getting that porno was going to haunt us later," Buffy muttered, looking at her co-conspirators.

"You guys had a girls night and watched porn?" Xander gasped. "And that is exactly why I love all of you. Feel free to love each other in front of me."

"Looks like I won!" Anya exclaimed.

Buffy sighed. "You know that just means you're the dirtiest of us all. I don't know why you're so proud of that."

Anya rolled her eyes. "You don't need to be jealous, Buffy. We can solve some of your deficiencies tonight! In fact, why don't we all go for a dip in the hot tub?"

"Not the pool?" Willow asked, slowly stretching her legs out.

Anya shook her head. "We do the pool all the time. Let's do something a little different." She stood up and shimmied out of her tee and shorts, leading the way out.

The others slowly followed, and Buffy eagerly took Spike's hand as they left the pool house and headed towards the hot tub. When it was finally ready, the group slowly got in and savored the feel of the hot water against their skin.

"Skinny dip, anyone?" Anya asked with a grin, reaching for the knots on the top of her bikini.

"What? No!" Buffy replied, making hand motions for her to stop.

"Why not? We're among friends, and you can graduate saying that you've gone skinny-dipping, though it doesn't really count since we're already in the water and a hot tub isn't a true body of water like an ocean or even a pool," Anya commented.

"I'll do it!" Willow said suddenly. Seeing Buffy's shocked face, she added, "Anya's right. Why not? Better now with friends while we're all awake and together than at some stupid frat party where we feel pressured because we've never done it before. Besides, the bubbles will conceal everything." Turning to Oz, she nodded and then suddenly both of them threw their bottoms off towards the pool.

Spike started laughing, and Buffy remained speechless.

"Whoo!!!!" Anya yelled as she pulled off her bottom and untied her top to join the strewn bathing suits now collecting in a heap by the side of the tub.

"Come on, luv. We're not looking. Let loose!" Spike urged as he began taking his bathing suit off.

Buffy gulped, looked down at herself in self-consciousness, and then finally gave in. She removed her bathing suit as quickly as possible, threw it by the others, and then sank into the water until the bubbles tickled her earlobes.

"Woohooo!!!" Xander yelled out, and he was soon joined by the others, their laughter and infectious hoots filling the air until an annoyed neighbor complained, which only led to more giggles.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Anya said, playfully splashing Buffy.

"Hey, hey, easy. No need to lose the water level," Spike interrupted before their splashing became too violent. "Let's just sit back in our nakedness, enjoy the stars, not wonder what we all look like under the water, and smile. Wish I had a cigarette." Spike played with Buffy's hair instead and leaned his head back to gaze up into the sky.

"Now that the excitement is over, what exactly are we supposed to do in a hot tub?" Oz asked, his hands bouncing on the jet streams.

"I think this is the good part, just sitting. I guess if you were alone with your honey, you'd do a little more, but since none of you were into voyeurism, I'm thinking that option is out." Anya sighed. "Well, I'm hot. I'm going to go to the pool. Enjoy the show!" she cried as she got up and ran to dive into the pool.

"Well, that was--"

Oz's comment was interrupted by Xander's yelp of "Don't look!" as he jumped out and then cannonballed into the water.

"--interesting," he finished. The remaining four looked at each other, pretending they hadn't just checked out their friends' nakedness.

"So, I'm definitely staying in the hot tub," Buffy declared. Spike chuckled in response.

"Now I can say that I've skinny-dipped," Willow stated, grinning. "Now my life is complete." She rolled her eyes and then sank lower into the bubbles.

"The bubbles are nice," Oz commented. "The lack of suit does make it feel a little different. Don't you think?"

"They are pretty nice, and the skinny-dipping does add an element of excitement, I must say," Buffy said. She sighed contentedly. "I've always loved hot tubs. The hot water and the massage jets and the steam...just makes me all oozy inside." She closed her eyes and let her hands float on the water.

"Oozy, eh? So then if I were to leave you and the hot tub alone," he said, starting to rise from the water.

"No! I mean, no, silly. Sit down." Buffy grabbed Spike's arm before he could show more than his lovely six pack. "Don't share too much with the others," Buffy teased, snuggling him while he returned to his seat.

They looked into each other's eyes for a while, stupid grins on both faces. Willow and Oz looked at each other and nodded.

"Ah, young love. If you guys promise not to look while we get out, you can have the hot tub to yourselves," Willow said.

Buffy slowly looked away from Spike's blue eyes. "No, you guys don't have to--"

"Don't worry about it," Oz interrupted. "Not much of a water person anyway."

"Ready?" Willow asked Oz. "Okay guys, close 'em."

Buffy and Spike complied, and soon they were left alone in the hot tub.

Smiling demurely, Buffy continued to float her hands on the water, unsure of what to do now that they were completely alone. "Nice night."

"Pretty damn beautiful," Spike murmured. He gently floated his hands towards hers until they touched and bobbed against each other. He slowly ran his fingers over her hands, up her arms, and against the pounding pulse of her neck. He leaned in, but Buffy stopped him before he could kiss her.

"Wait, what about the others? Shouldn't we not--"

"I don't think anyone's going to be watching," Spike interrupted, motioning to the couple in the pool who were making out in the deep end. "Willow and Oz already went inside." He brushed away her hair, slightly damp from the steam of the jets, and swept his thumb against drops of water that clung to her.

Buffy held her breath, watching his hands caress her wet skin. When his hands finally stopped, she slowly looked into his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes that looked at her like there was no one else in the world. Those eyes warmed her, held her close, drew her in; their lips touched at last, tentative and unsure, as if sudden movement might shatter the preciousness of the night.

She opened her mouth to him, and their tongues began to dance sensuously in the moonlight. The hot, moist taste of his mouth spread through her body, urged on by the heat of the hot tub, and Buffy felt her heart racing with every touch. Her body naturally moved towards him, and she felt her breasts push up against Spike's chest. It thrilled her, the closeness of his bare skin, and she felt her body get even hotter. And when his hand began to move down her neck to tenderly sweep against her nipples, she couldn't stifle the soft moan that trembled in her throat. It was too hot, too much, and she broke away from him, stilled his hand against her chest. Her heart throbbed with urgency and desire, which threatened to crash over her fragile body. Slowly breathing, Buffy looked up at Spike.

His eyes were still closed, and Buffy could see the intense longing that was tightening his body. She kissed him lightly on the lips, and his eyes fluttered open. She smiled shyly at him, and Spike couldn't help but smile back. They gazed at each other for a while, and finally Spike spoke.

"Ready to get out? Don't want the hot water to burn us," he said lightly.

"Yeah, it's getting pretty hot," she whispered, casting her eyes down. "But--"

"Why don't I get out first and then hand you your suit?"

Her eyes thanked him, and she discreetly looked away while he got out of the water, though she did peek at his ass as he walked towards their clothes.

"Woohoo!!" Xander called out as he saw Spike bend over to put on his bathing suit. His laughter was met with a bathing suit-clad Spike giving him the finger as he walked over to the tub.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she deftly put on her bathing suit before climbing out of the water. "Jealous, Xander?" she called out on Spike's behalf. Throwing their bathing suits into the pool, she said, "Just so we don't have to see you guys."

"Fine, but you're missing out!" Anya teased as she put her bikini back on. The two slowly emerged from the pool, and Anya wrung out her hair as she walked towards the pool house. "Towels are here in the cabinet. We're off to bed. Blankets and stuff are here as well. Take whatever you want. Good night!" she called out quickly, dragging Xander with her.

"Guess they were tired?" Buffy asked, grabbing a towel to dry herself off.

"Or really horny, knowing Anya," he added, drying himself as he walked towards the house. "You wanna grab our stuff and get ready for bed?"

"Sounds good. I'm not really tired though," Buffy commented, toweling off her hair.

"Not to worry. I'm sure we'll figure something out," Spike noted with a grin. He avoided her towel-snap and followed her into the house.

A few moments later they were all set up with blankets and pillows, out under the stars and the warm California night air. Lying next to each other, both clad in t-shirts and shorts, Buffy and Spike soaked in the idea that they were really going to spend the night together, no parents or curfew hanging over their heads.

"I can't believe my mom let me stay out tonight. I can't believe I'm here with you," she whispered, lying on her side and looking at Spike.

He held her hand and propped his head on his elbow. "I'm so glad she let you. I'd have felt pretty stupid out here by my lonesome." He grinned at her sheepishly. "And I know I said it before, but you looked so beautiful tonight. And even now, you're still so beautiful," he murmured, staring at her intimately.

"You're pretty hot yourself," she answered, giggling a little at the nervousness of spending the night next to this gorgeous flesh. Buffy was still partially in awe that she was here with him, with Spike, her boyfriend. The knowledge filled her with contentment, and she couldn't help but sigh in satisfaction.

"Come here," Spike said, pulling her into his chest. He sucked in his breath when her soft hair brushed against his face, tickling him and teasing him. Looking down at her, he noticed her long lashes, her bright hazel eyes clear and honest, her kissable lips--everything about her drew him in.

Buffy enjoyed the strength of his body against hers, and she tried not to shiver with excitement. The whole night was ahead of them, theirs to kiss and touch and simply be--and the thought made her quiver deliciously. She knew her own limits, what she felt comfortable with, but the way he looked at her, those eyes burning into her and the starry sky behind him--it made her forget all but his touch and his presence. She closed her eyes and waited for him to kiss her.

And he did, kissed her with such tenderness that her toes felt loved. Buffy threaded her fingers through his hair, wanting to hold him close to her so that he would never leave--and never stop doing that thing with his tongue. Her other hand began running down his arms and his back, luxuriating in the taut muscles under his t-shirt. She found the edge of his shirt and couldn't resist running her hands across his bare skin.

Her bare hands sizzled against his skin, and his heartbeat began to hurdle through the air. Would she let him touch her, feel the secret places on her body? There was so much Spike wanted to do, to touch, to taste that his emotions began to overwhelm and unnerve him. This girl moved him in ways he'd never felt before. He prayed that she wouldn't stop him as he eased his hands down her body, fluttering against her belly and then grazing her breast. She moaned, and he breathed in sharply as he began to circle his thumb against her hardening nipple.

Buffy clenched his shirt in her hands as she succumbed to the swirling motions of his hands. It was arousing, but she wanted more, needed more. Hoping he'd follow her example, she pulled on his shirt to take it off.

Spike paused to throw his shirt off and, seeing the desire in her eyes, reached for hers as well. She didn't have a bra, and Spike's heart skipped as he saw her naked glorious body. Unable to resist, he bent his head over her and licked her slowly. She murmured incoherently, and Spike dove in for more, suckling her and swirling his tongue against her nipple. Her whimpers fueled his impossibly hard erection, and he couldn't help but rub against her thighs. He wanted more--he wanted to rub his tongue against every inch of her skin. Would she let him? He glanced up at her face and saw her eyes closed, her hair splayed against the pillow, her cheeks flushed with arousal. He dared, beginning his descent.

Buffy's eyes flew open when she felt Spike's kisses move southward. Fear started to grip her, but she couldn't stop him, even while her body was calling out warnings. They were drowned out by her kittenish mewls of delight, and she wanted to feel him down there; she wanted to know what the other girls were talking about and whether Angel really was a poor example.

Spike suddenly realized what he was doing, how far he was pushing. He hesitated, breathing in her excitement, and then whispered, "Buffy, do you--"

"Don't stop," she moaned, not even wanting him to finish his sentence. She slid her fingers inside her shorts, indicating her desire to continue.

His desire skated up and down his body, doing spins on his throbbing cock. He tried to settle his heartbeat as he eased her shorts and panties down her body. He groaned with pleasure as he saw her trimmed pussy in front of him, waiting for his touch. Sliding his hands down her inner thighs to spread them out, Spike leaned in and licked.

"Ooohh," Buffy gasped at his touch. Her instinct was to press her thighs together and yet push her pussy into his face. The feeling was exquisite, and she held her breath, waiting for his next move.

Spike kissed her clit with languorous strokes of his tongue, not rushing his movements. He whirled around her clit from top to bottom, from side to side, and then ended up thrusting his tongue into her slit to taste her growing wetness. She was so delicious, and he moaned into her as his cock pressed against the ground with desire.

Buffy's whole body was tensing up and tightening like a coil pressed together by incredibly talented hands. She'd started out caressing Spike's hair, but she could no longer control her movements. It was all she could do to stay conscious while his tongue pressed against her intimately. He'd started out slowly, but now his licking and sucking pushed her tighter and tighter until she felt she could not clench her eyes any more could no longer breathe could no longer bite her lip could no longer whimper could no longer--

"Spiiiiiiike," she cried out, her body finally releasing its tense coils of desire. "Oh god," she whispered, her voice high-pitched with pleasured pain and astonishment at the amazing sensations pulsing through her and shooting out at her pussy.

"Mmmmm," Spike hummed against her, pressing his tongue against her vibrations.

When she finally caught her breath and wasn't deafened by her own breathing, Buffy was crushed by another wave of desire--this time to give him pleasure. She swiftly straddled him, kissing him hard and tasting her own cum on his tongue.

Spike nearly came right there, feeling her body on top of his. He pressed her naked body against his chest, savoring the feel of her heat against him.

Buffy ravished his mouth, but it wasn't enough. She pushed herself down, sliding his shorts down with her.

"Buffy! You--"

"Shh," she mumbled in between his legs. Suddenly it was before her, his hard penis wet with cum. She wasn't sure how to start, what to do, but she merely reminded herself of what his tongue felt like on her and tried to imitate it.

"Oh, god!" Spike yelped as she licked his head slowly. He'd been completely caught by surprise by her sudden actions, and his mind was whirling with eddies of lust. He clenched the blanket beneath him and kept his eyes shut tight as she lowered her mouth onto him completely. Aching for more, he pressed his hips into the ground to keep from thrusting hard into her and fucking her mouth. He began sweating, the reins on his hunger barely in check.

Buffy felt powerful, her small sucking movements making him moan in such delectable ways. She wanted more, wanted to hear him beg for her. Adding her hands, she began handling him tighter, cupping his balls and running her lips and hands up and down his shaft.

"Oh, fuck, Buffy!" he breathed, his whole body wanting to come in her. "Buff--I--god--Buffy--I--" he babbled. He grabbed for her, wanting to save her from his climax, but she wouldn't budge. "Buffy, I--"

"Mmmmmm," she hummed against his cock, the vibrations pushing him over the cliff.

"Buuuuuuuuffffyy!" he roared as he came in her mouth, unable to hold back any longer.

Buffy kept her mouth on him, holding him tight while he released himself. She swallowed a little at a time, and she relished every whimper that he made while she held him. Finally, he was done, and she let him go with a last lick of his head.

"Oh my god," he mumbled as he threw his head back on his pillow. Buffy crawled up his body to kiss him lightly before cuddling in his arms.

"Hi," she whispered giddily as she wrapped her arms around his tired body.

"Hi. Hello. God. You're amazing," he sighed as he nuzzled into her hair.

Arms intertwined and legs laced together, they fell asleep under the stars.

Ch. 15: Morning Conversations

The sun shone brightly on Buffy's face, both comforting her and startling her at the same time. She breathed in deeply, the sleep slowly clearing from her brain. There was an arm lightly draped over her waist, light breathing tickling the top of her head, and strong legs pressing against her legs. Or was it his leg? Was it--

Spike moaned sleepily, his eyes still closed in dreamland and his cock hardened in the morning way. Curious about his reactions, and not having looked closely last night, Buffy peeked under the covers and brushed it lightly. She gasped in surprise as it bucked against her touch, jumping into her hand. Slowly Spike awoke, a sexy smirk on his face when he felt Buffy's movements against his cock. However, he quickly scooted away when his eyes opened to see that the expression on her face was one of shock rather than lust. Blushing, he grinned sheepishly and said, "Sorry," stretching out as his body began to wake up thoroughly.

"So it's true--the morning wood myth?" she joked, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She giggled when he saw the stunned look on his face. "What, you think you guys are the only ones who discuss these things? I'll have you know Anya is very thorough in her teachings."

He gave her one final look and then laughed again, shaking his head. "You will never cease to surprise me." He pulled her in and kissed the top of her hair, enjoying the feel of her hair against his lips.

Buffy snuggled against his body, forgetting that this should be a moment of awkwardness, a moment of waking up naked next to her boyfriend for the first time. He made her forget, and she loved that. She arched herself against him, yawning.

"I just want you to know," he murmured into her hair, not fully awake.

"Mmm?" she sighed, her heart slightly tapping in anticipation of what these intimate morning talks might reveal.

"That these are quite nice," he said lowly.

Buffy looked up to her lacy black thong dangling from his fingers. She tried to grab them from his fingers, but he eluded her easily. Her torso jumping up, she reached for them again, but he simply laughed at her and held her head down with his capable hands.

"And I know there's more of it in your room, you sexy kitten you! Lingerie's your weakness, 'ey?" he teased as she futilely strained to retrieve her panties.

And then she was on top of him, her breasts swaying tantalizingly in front of his face as she stretched to grab her thong.

And then the moment of awkwardness crept up and slammed into her. Or rather, slammed up against the back of her ass in a way that was so incredibly arousing that she yelped and blushed and became wet in a matter of seconds. Her eyes widened, and his eyes closed, and they both moaned a little.

She grabbed her panties quickly, moved off of his body, and shimmied the thong up her legs. Now her nakedness was a little embarrassing, and she found her shirt and pulled that on as well. Spike simply watched on, an amused look on his face.

Spike's amused look was merely a disguise for what he was really feeling: horny like a toad in heat. He knew, with his mind, that going to the next level was a little too soon for them. He knew that Buffy was different from all the other girls he'd dated. He knew that she was someone he wanted to cherish for a very very long time. However, his body wanted to thrust his cock into that gorgeous pussy of hers and make her ride him till she fell on top of him in exhaustion. He pulled the sleeping bag around him a little more tightly to keep her embarrassment from flaring again. He wanted her, but not like this--not on the cement ground outside of a pool at Anya's house. He breathed in slowly, trying to control himself, his amused smirk firmly in place. "Mornin', cutie," he said grabbing her hand and kissing it gently as he caressed her skin, holding her delicately.

Buffy stared into his eyes as she felt his lips skate across her hand. It amazed her, that he could look at her and kiss her and make her feel so precious--even when she was in the middle of putting her pants on, her t-shirt on backwards and her thong twisted in her rush. It was as if he knew how self-conscious and embarrassed she'd felt, and with a swift movement he swept it all away. She smiled slowly at him; he was the best--there was just no other way to put it.

He pulled her in and then kissed her briefly on the nose--and then backed away quickly when he saw the look on her face. "Oops," he muttered as he covered his mouth. "Brush first?" he mumbled through his hands.

"Yes, please," she responded, her hands covering her mouth as well. She giggled, untwisting and adjusting her clothes so that she was presentable. Throwing his shorts at him, Buffy waited for him to get dressed and then reached out her hand to help him up. He grabbed both hands and then landed in her arms. They both enjoyed the morning embrace, the way they fit so easily in each other's arms, and then walked hand in hand towards the pool house.

***

Everyone was still asleep, or at least pretending to be, so Spike and Buffy decided to walk to the local diner and grab some breakfast. It was earlier that they'd expected; they assumed it was the sleeping outside and the sun shining on them that woke them at the early hour of 9 am on the morning after Homecoming. Whatever the reason, they were enjoying the quiet walk through the neighborhood, the comfortable hand-holding--because their fingers didn't fight over which position to take, and that spoke volumes about being a good fit, clearly.

They were seated quickly, thankfully away from the families with loud children and far from the elderly couples. Buffy didn't want to share her time with Spike; there was something about their morning, their evening, just everything that seemed too intimate to be around so many other people. The booth in the back corner suited them perfectly. After ordering lavish breakfasts, they settled into the vinyl cushions as they waited for food.

"So, you're a virgin?"

Spike started laughing, his whole face brightening and his body relaxing. "How long have you been thinking about that?"

Buffy blushed and said, "No, I mean, I was just surprised when we were playing that game last night. I don't know--I guess I assumed that you'd have been with--" She stopped herself. She figured he'd share if he wanted to. Did she want him to?

He smiled again. "How about this. You ask away. I'll ask away. This breakfast we'll get it all out. Things that might seem awkward to bring up, you know, since it might otherwise seem weird to wait for a relevant moment during normal conversation. That suit you?"

Buffy nodded. "Sounds good. That doesn't mean I won't ask later if I feel like it. But now I don't have to make up some kind of transition."

"So what do you want to know?"

"Well, how come you're still a virgin? I mean, Drusilla wasn't known for her chastity--and she was older."

"Yeah, she was. But I wasn't just gonna give it away just because she wanted it. She did want it, especially because I was a virgin. But in a lot of ways that only convinced me that I should really hold onto it. Like the way she made such a big deal only emphasized how important it was. I didn't want to just lose it to anyone. I mean, Dru was wonderful, but things just got a little weird and intense. Anyway, I didn't sleep with her."

"But you did other things?" she asked hesitantly. Buffy wanted to know, and yet she was scared to hear the answers. It was an odd kind of fascination, and she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know, but she had to ask.

"Yeah. You sure you wanna hear about it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'd rather you tell me than rely on things I've heard from gossip."

"What do you mean? What'd you hear?"

She blushed and was thankful when the waitress brought out their food. But Spike was not to be deterred. "No seriously. I mean, I know the guys always talk, but what'd you hear?"

"Oh, I mean, it wasn't anything bad."

"But...?"

"Well, there were rumors that you and Cecily had sex in the stairwell near the gym, and that's why you got suspended for two days."

Spike smirked and let out a chuckle. "That was in ninth grade."

"Yeah, well, it was big gossip."

"We didn't have sex, but I was going down on her." He shifted nervously. "She was pretty demanding, and I was so infatuated with her that I was willing to do anything for her. God, that was embarrassing, getting caught by the assistant principal. Cecily somehow got out of the punishment, but I got suspended for two days. Maybe he just assumed I had forced her into doing it."

"Whatever happened to her?"

"Oh, she moved away. But not before I found out what a bitch she was. Though she still ended up dumping me before I figured her all out." He chewed on his pancakes with vigor. "But was there other gossip you heard?"

"You sure you wanna know all the things people say about you?"

"You sure you wanna know all the things I've done with other girls?"

"I'll tell if you tell. What can I say? I'm a curious kitten."

"Ooh, kitten. I like kittens." He arched his eyebrow and curled his tongue at her.

She stuck out her tongue in response and then curled her own. She laughed as his eyes bugged out at her tongue aerobics. "Anyway, I heard that you and Dru were going at it during the fire drill, that while everyone else was outside, you guys were in a closet somewhere and somehow didn’t get caught."

Spike laughed again, and then he sighed quietly and his eyes began to look back to the past. "Yeah, that one was sort of true. The alarm went off, and Dru grabbed me and pulled me into a closet. I think she was really into kinky things, public places and such. Anyway, somehow she'd heard that it was just a drill and not a real alarm, so she and I just spent the time, you know, doing stuff. And then we just joined the rest of the group when everyone was allowed back into the building. I guess people found out by the looks on our faces and the rumpled hair."

"And Dru's scuffed knees," Buffy muttered before laughing at the look on his face. "What? You think people don't notice these things?"

"No, I didn't. And I certainly didn't think you'd notice."

"Well, I noticed everything when it came to you." Her eyes widened when she realized just how much she'd given away. "I mean, you know, cuz everyone was talking about it."

"So, you've had a crush on me for a while?" Spike teased, his mouth smirking but his eyes showing his genuine surprise and delight at her admission.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, geez, could we be any cockier?"

"No, seriously Buffy. I've always thought you were cute, ever since we met back in ninth grade when I moved here. But you were so mean to me that I never thought you even liked me as a person. C'mon, you can be honest with me."

Buffy's face flamed even more. It was funny; they were now dating, and Spike obviously liked her, genuinely liked her. What harm could there be in sharing? She took a deep breath and said quickly, "OkayI'velikedyousinceninthgrade."

"What? Can you say that again?"

"No. No, I can't," she said smugly. "If you didn't get it the first time, I'm not repeating it."

"That's too bad. Because I could've sworn you said you liked me since ninth grade," he repeated, his eyebrow cocked in that ridiculously sexy way.

"Hm? What? I didn't hear you," she said, eating ferociously like she'd been starving for the past month and a half.

"You know, it's a good thing you're as cute as you are." He smiled at her and then dug into his own food. "And for the record, I was going to ask you to Homecoming in ninth grade, but you shot me down even before I could ask."

"What?!" she exclaimed, her fork stopped in between the plate and her mouth. "What are you talking about?"

He put down his coffee mug and leaned forward. "You heard me. I was going to ask you to Homecoming back in ninth grade, and you shot me down."

"I did not. There was no way in hell that I said no." She gave him a look of incredulity.

"Remember when we were all hanging out at the Bronze--you, me, Xander, everybody. And we were shooting pool, and you were trash-talking because that's all you do, and I mentioned something about playing for a Homecoming date, and you gave me this look like I was a disgusting monster with horns or something. And so I dropped it--I wasn't about to get rejected when you made it clear that you didn't want to go. So I asked Cecily, because some girl told me she wanted to go with me."

Buffy's face was one of utter shock and dismay. "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."

"I'm not. Seriously. Buffy, my liking you--this thing between us--it wasn't just because you got all dolled up and suddenly my eyes were open. C'mon, give me a little more credit than that. But a guy doesn't like to be rejected."

Buffy banged her head on the table and groaned. "Oh. My. God. Please tell me this is a nightmare. I've had this stupid crush on you for years, and you're telling me you liked me back but my stupid mouth made you think I didn't? I'm the stupidest girl in the world," she whined.

Spike suddenly got up and scooted into her side of the booth. He pulled her into his arms and made her look up at him, her face mottled with embarrassment and annoyance with herself. "Hey, don't get all mad now. We got it all settled. And now our senior year will be fabulous. I mean, with a guy like me, how can you go wrong?"

She thumped him in the chest for his cockiness and tried to shake the stray hair out of her face. "My life is just stupid that way. I always wondered about that, why we started hanging out less after that, why you all of a sudden decided to hang out with me again this year," she said as she toyed with his shirt.

"Like I said, it was not a sudden decision. I've always kinda had a thing for you. But when you and Angel were together, for some reason, I felt like there was a stronger pull. You know I was about to ask you to dance when Angel showed up. Stupid poofter."

She giggled at his description and then hugged him. "So you really like me?"

"Yes. I really like you. You're gorgeous and smart and funny and currently slightly drooling on my favorite shirt."

She slapped his chest again playfully. "Glad that you're comforting me in my sorrow."

"There are better ways to comfort you," he said lasciviously. He laughed as she pushed him away, her fingers still holding onto him. Noticing the looks of annoyance from the other tables, he returned to his side and got back to his food.

***

"So was I better?" he asked quietly, sipping his coffee.

"Yes. What is it you're asking about?" she asked while finishing up her pancakes.

He chuckled. God, she was wonderful. "Well, last night you mentioned that you didn't really like it when Angel went down on you. Was I better? You can be honest."

Gone was his cocky exterior. He looked like a little boy waiting to be praised with a cookie. He was adorable. Buffy replied, "You didn't figure it out by what I did next? I thought that was a pretty good indication." He still looked needy, and so she gave in. "It was amazing. I think it was the best feeling I've ever had. Ever. So you can bet your bottom dollar that you're going to be doing it again."

Finally, his cockiness was back. "Well, I do have a pretty nice tongue."

"Yeah, but I like your ass better." She giggled and then decided to ask her own question. Her voice quiet, she murmured, "Um, was I good?"

"Are you kidding? My groaning and writhing and yelling out your name didn't convince you of how fucking amazing you were?" he said, nodding his head vigorously. "And that was your first time? Boy, I am one lucky guy," he teased. Somehow he knew that Buffy, with all her confident trash talking and sarcasm, really needed reassurance--which wasn't too difficult, since her blow job truly was the best he'd ever had.

"Okay, I get the picture." She continued eating for a moment and then paused, looking up at him and saying, "Really?"

Spike chuckled. "Yes, really. And I'll even say this--it was even better than Dru, and she always prided herself in being the best at that."

"Um, thanks?"

"Well, you asked. And you did say you were a curious kitten." He shrugged. "You just tell me when you think I'm telling you too much."

"Well, I'm just going to have to make sure I'm better at everything so you don't even think of others," she said matter-of-factly.

"I'm all for that plan. Ready to go?" He jumped at and made motions to go.

"In fact, I am." She rose sexily, sliding her leg out and leaning forward to give him a glimpse of her perky breasts. She took his outstretched hand and then rubbed her body against his, smirking briefly before giggling at his reaction. "Let's go!" she called out, having already walked out with a little wiggle of her butt.

Spike stared at that tight ass of hers. "Yes, let's," he agreed and followed quickly, a wide grin on his face.

Ch. 17: Evening Work

"So it was good?" Anya asked.

"It was fabulous." Buffy purred contentedly and then curled her tongue in appreciation of her boyfriend's talents.

"Whoa." And for once, Anya was speechless.

***

"I can't believe you're going to be gone the entire winter break." Buffy pouted, leaning back into Spike's chest. They were comfortably lying on Buffy's bed, taking a break from working on their English project.

He held her close, breathing in her hair and cherishing her warmth. "I know, but I can't do anything about it. Da's been planning this since summertime. And you'll be able to hang with Willow and Oz."

"It's not the same. How fun would it have been to hang out all break, not worrying about school or anything?" She turned to look at him, as if her eyes would convince him to rebel against his father and ditch the trip.

"You know I can't do anything about it, so let's just enjoy the time we have." He kissed her hair and enjoyed the way she fit so perfectly in his arms.

She shifted a little so that she could look up at him. "When are you leaving again?" She ran her fingers gently over his cheeks as she asked. He was just so gorgeous; she never got tired of looking at him, never stopped marveling at how he looked at her with such affection.

He kissed those wandering fingertips before answering. "I'm leaving the first Monday of the break. I was hoping we could spend some time that weekend before I leave? We have to figure out when we're going to do presents and everything." He smiled down at her, eager to give her the ring he'd purchased so long ago. He'd been so tempted to give it to her just for the hell of it, but he didn't want to ruin the Christmas surprise.

"Ah, yes. Presents. I love presents. Have you gotten me anything yet?" she inquired, propping her head up on her elbow. Buffy was still unsure about a gift for him, and she secretly hoped he hadn't gotten anything yet.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he teased, playing with a strand of her hair. "You wanna plan on doing something on Saturday? Maybe we could drive up to the beaches or something, spend the day there."

"Oh, that sounds so nice," she replied. She leaned in to kiss him gently. "I have the best boyfriend."

"Okay," he agreed quickly. Her exaggerated fury at his lack of reciprocation only made him laugh. Before she could pummel him, he swiftly turned and captured her lips while covering her body with his.

Buffy's fists easily turned into roving hands, and she threaded her fingers through his hair, giving it that tousled look she loved so much.

His kissed were slow and tender, playing with her lips and discovering the secret places of her mouth. God, she loved the way he made her skin tingle. She kept their movements slow, knowing that they had to get back to work soon. She moved their bodies a little, pushing him onto his back but not following him. A final kiss, and she rested her chin on his chest, giving him a smile of contentment.

"Does that mean this break is over?" He noted her nod and tried not to sigh too loudly. He sat up further and reached for their notes. "We do have a lot to do before tomorrow."

Buffy grimaced as she thought about how much they still had to do. "I can't believe we waited till the last minute to do this." She grabbed her notebook and listlessly looked over her papers.

"We didn't--we were just unproductive in our time together--well, in the school sense, anyway." He smirked and dodged her playful punch.

"At least we taped most of it already. We just need to finish editing it and type up the paper," she muttered, pulling her body off the bed and moving towards the computer.

"I know it's not much, but I have so little motivation. I think you need to give me some incentive," Spike purred, stretching out sexily on her bed.

"Oh, yeah?" she replied coyly, leaning forward and biting her lip, playing up that innocent sexuality that he seemed to enjoy so much. Of course, she felt kind of silly trying to be sexy in a pair of sweats and an ugly gym t-shirt from her middle school, but he didn't seem to mind. Before she could throw back her hair sexily, he'd pounced on her, picking her up and pinning her down on the bed. He hadn't been satisfied by their break, and what had begun as simple fun had quickly escalated into heavy breathing and nibbling.

Buffy indulged him for a little bit, kissing him thoroughly and rubbing her hands up and down his back. But when he started caressing her skin underneath her shirt, she pushed him away abruptly.

Spike landed on his back, his mouth still slightly open and curled in a kiss. His eyes were hazy, and the confusion on his face was so adorable that she was tempted to go back and start things up again. However, the nagging student in her came out victorious.

"Spike, we really have to finish this project, and I don't want to stay up all night doing it."

"No all-nighters? But they're so much fun," he drawled, moving towards her with a seductive look on his face.

She allowed him to put his arms around her, but she turned and gave him a look of resolution. "You want incentive? We finish the presentation first, and then I'll give you a personal presentation," she purred, licking her lips. And then she began to giggle.

Already turned on, her words were hardening him even further. But her giggles confused him. "What are you playing at? What's with the giggles?"

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to control her laughter. "I just feel so stupid trying to play sexy. It just doesn't come naturally for me." She shrugged and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "You must bring it out in me."

"Well, as long as you're not laughing at me. And I'm more than willing to bring out the sexiness in you--just don't bring it out for anyone else. I'm the jealous type."

"Ooh, are you? That's good to know. Now let's get going on this project. The faster we finish, the faster we can start." She waggled her eyebrows at him and then began laughing again.

"You just wait till we're done. I'll wipe that smirk off your face," he retorted as he plopped onto his bed and returned to their notes, preparing to tell her what to type.

Turning to the keyboard, Buffy replied, "I can't wait. Now give it to me." She laughed again, giving him a quick wink, and then began working in earnest.

***

It was now 2 a.m., and Spike and Buffy had switched places. He was now on the computer, editing their movie, since she had finished the written portion of their project. They were both perfectionists when it came to their work, but Buffy was slowly losing her standards as time ticked away.

"So you think this music works, or should I change it to something a little more upbeat?" Spike questioned, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"God, I don't care. I think everything you've done so far is fine." She stretched and yawned loudly before plopping her head onto a pillow.

"Oh, come on. We've just got a little more to do." Spike played with the settings and the various options while the clip played over and over again.

"I think it's perfect, and don't you want to finish so we can start a little play of our own?" she said in a voice that would have been sexy had it not been broken by a huge, unattractive yawn.

He looked over at her and laughed. "You're right. I think we're finally done. Save. Burn to CD," he mumbled to himself, inserting a blank cd and checking one last time that everything was done. "Now while that's burning--" he purred, turning to look at her. He chuckled when he saw her sleeping body sprawled out on the bed. He was constantly amazed at her ability to fall asleep in the middle of a conversation or during a car ride to the mall. She was so cute, her eyes screwed shut and her mouth making little pouting actions while dreams played over her face. Kneeling beside her bed, he kissed her forehead and brushed her hair out of her face. He tucked her inside the covers, marveling at how little she was, and then retrieved the completed CD. Gathering his notes and the final project, he shut everything down and turned off the light. He scribbled a little note and left it on her wall, right next to his last note. Kissing her one last time, he left the room.

***

When Buffy awoke the next morning, her mouth felt filmy and gross. "Ew, I must have fallen asleep without brushing. And without saying goodnight to Spike." She pouted as she pulled herself out of bed. She looked around to see if he'd left a note or anything, and finally she spotted the new quote above her bed.

Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!

Romeo and Juliet
Act II, scene ii

Sleep tight--I'll be your peace in the morning.

She giggled at his lame attempt to be seductive and then trotted off to the bathroom to get ready for school.

Ch. 17: The Perfect Gift

Buffy slid her fingers over the bookshelves, her brow furrowed in thought. "But I'm just not sure whether a book is what I want to get him."

Willow sighed. They'd been shopping for 2 hours already, and still Buffy had no idea about what to get Spike. She patted Buffy's back reassuringly and said, "I'm sure he'll love whatever you buy."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's a good present. You know how much I obsess over presents. I just want it to be perfect."

"Maybe we should sit down and get some sort of game plan going so we're not just wandering aimlessly around the mall," Willow offered, her feet starting to ache.

"Okay. Coffee?" Buffy asked, moving away from the books.

"Yes, please. The caffeine will surely help you figure things out." Willow smiled, and the two girls tiredly left the book store.

***

"Tell me you did buy something," Anya demanded. "You guys have been at the mall for four hours." Anya had met up with the girls at the diner for dinner, and they were now seated in a booth drinking milkshakes and eating burgers.

Buffy glared at her, letting her eyes do the talking. She chewed on a fry, keeping her eyes on Anya.

"Oh my god. It's a Christmas present. How hard can it be?"

"Clearly, you do not understand the importance of a Christmas present," Buffy answered sullenly.

"Oh come on. He's a guy. Buy him some clothes. Or better yet, buy yourself some clothes. You know, like a pretty lingerie piece. That way it's for him, but you get something in the deal as well." Anya smiled, happy with her idea.

"No, you don't understand. I just want this gift to be really thoughtful, honest, just plain wonderful. This is the first time I've ever had a boyfriend to give a gift to. It's gotta be perfect," she stated.

Willow smiled sympathetically. "I know you want it to be perfect, but you can't kill yourself over this. Do you see how happy he is with you? You're perfect. You're the gift. He really is going to love anything you give him."

Making designs in her ketchup with a fry, Buffy sighed loudly. "I guess. I mean, I guess I know that, but it doesn't change my mind. I just have to go back to the stores. You don't have to come with, Wills. You've been around enough with me." She shrugged and then popped the fry into her mouth.

"So then what are you going to do?" Willow asked, rubbing her sore feet.

"I think I'm just gonna go home. We're exchanging gifts this weekend, so I still have some time. When are you and Xander leaving?" Buffy asked as she turned to Anya.

"Oh! We're leaving Saturday morning for Cancun. Isn't it exciting? I'm so glad my parents finally relented and let me bring a friend. Xander's supposed to be sharing a room with Andrew, but I'm sure we'll be able to work something out. Our rooms are adjoining, and my parents are on a different floor because they wanted a luxury suite and didn't feel like splurging on us. It'll be fabulous!" Her eyes sparkled in anticipation.

"That's really cool that you guys are going to be together this break. I wish Spike didn't have to go to London," Buffy said wistfully.

"It's only a week, and you can come hang out with me and Oz," Willow offered.

"But you guys will want to hang out alone. I would," Buffy whined. She didn't want to whine, but the thought of Spike being in a different county the entire break was just starting to wear her down.

"Really, it'll be fun. Don't hole yourself up the entire break. We'll have fun."

The girls continued to chat lightheartedly and finish their burgers, and Buffy tried not to obsess about Spike's gift.

***

Saturday finally came, and Buffy was getting ready for her date with Spike. She was a little edgy, her gift hiding in her purse with unspoken expectations. Would he like it? She shook those questions away and tried to focus on her present dilemma. Still clad in her robe, she stood in front of the closet, wondering what to wear. Something fancy? No, they were going to the beach. Casual? Yes, but not sloppy. Mini-skirt? That always worked. She pulled out the pink mini-skirt that flounced prettily and showed off her tan legs. Now what to wear on top?

The doorbell rang. "Mom, could you get that?" Buffy yelled from her bedroom, holding her skirt in one hand and rummaging through her shirts with the other.

"I'll get it!" Dawn yelled out, clambering down the stairs. She knew Buffy still wasn't ready, and of course Spike wouldn't want to wait all alone. She had to enjoy his hotness sometimes. Smoothing her hair back, she flung open the door and put on her best, bored teenager look. "Hey."

Spike flashed a charming smile at the girl and didn't let on that he could see her nervous blush spreading across her young face. "Hey there, Nibblet."

Dawn closed the door after he entered the house and internally squealed at the way his voice and his pet name for her. She followed him into the living room and sat in a chair nearby, showing off her long legs as she crossed them and then sat back to stare at him without shame.

"So, crashed any good parties lately?" Spike asked, referring to that night of Questions where she and Andrew had burst in on their little get together.

Dawn blushed and was about to reply with some witty comeback when Buffy came down the stairs--and Spike stopped paying attention to her. Huffing, she left the room quickly, trying not to stomp, and muttered some unintelligible insult while passing Buffy on the stairs.

Buffy stared at her sister's departing form in confusion and then turned to Spike. "What did you say to her?" she asked, motioning towards the girl as she neared her boyfriend. Pulling him in for a quick kiss, she added, "She looks a little annoyed. You know she has a crush on you. Did you tease her? "

"Only a little, but wait." He kissed her again, fully and thoroughly, lazily playing with her tongue.

"Ooh, what did I do to deserve such a nice welcome?" she teased, drawing back and caressing his cheeks.

He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. "You just look so lovely, in your sexy mini-skirt. I just had to show you." He was about to lean in and kiss her again until he realized that Mrs. Summers had entered the living room. "Hi, Mrs. Summers. How are you?" He tried to pull away a little, slightly embarrassed by their closeness.

Buffy turned and smiled at her mom, her hands intertwining with his to keep him from going too far. "Hey, Mom. We're about to leave for the beach. Probably won't be back till late." She started towards the door, taking Spike with her.

Joyce smiled at the two, remembering the excitement of young love. "Just make you're not out too late. Call if you need anything."

"Okay. Bye!" Buffy called out as she left.

"Bye, Mrs. Summers. I'll make sure she's not back too late." He waved awkwardly, Buffy dragging him out the door.

"I know you will. Have fun," she said, closing the door behind them.

***

"So, what do we have here?" Buffy intoned as she noticed all the stuff in the backseat of his car. "Guitar, picnic basket, blankets...Are you trying to seduce me?" She giggled, throwing her head back and letting the wind brush her hair back.

"Trying? I don't have to try," Spike teased. "I just brought a few things for us to play with. Nothing big." He glanced at her, the way she was totally relaxed with him, her smile bright and warm. He grinned broadly, appreciating the sight of his girl, and snaked his hand over to hers.

When they arrived at the beach, they grabbed their things and headed for a more deserted area. It wasn't too crowded, but there were enough people to force them to wander around a little before finding a semi-solitary area.

"Wow, looks like a lot of people are taking advantage of the great weather." She plopped down the blanket and her bag before plopping down herself.

He arranged his guitar and basket on top of the blanket to avoid getting sand everywhere and then joined her, kicking off his shoes. "I guess I won't be able to go through with that seduction after all, unless you're into people watching," he kidded.

She blushed and then hit him. "Hey, who said I was going to let you seduce me?"

Spike gave her a pointed look before pouncing on her. He started nibbling on her neck, making her make kittenish whimpers at the sensations his tongue was creating. "Make me stop," he murmured, his head buried in her scent.

"Stop," she protested weakly, thoroughly enjoying his fluttering touches.

He sat back on his heels and grinned at her. "Yeah, I can see how you don't want me." He chuckled at her pouts and then turned to unload the picnic basket. "Just give me a sec to get out all the goodies. I know you're hungry."

"Fine." She reached forward to help him, squealing at all the goodies she found: strawberries, chocolate, little sandwiches, chocolate, vegetables with dip, chocolate...

He smiled as she oohed and aahed over all that he had packed--and he had packed a lot. "Yeah, I know there's enough for an army, but I figured it's always better to have more than less."

"Definitely!" Buffy exclaimed, her mouth already smudged with a chocolate bonbon she'd stolen while unpacking the basket.

"God, you're so adorable." He watched as she licked her lips and then sucked on her fingers for every last remnant of chocolate. "And if I weren't so hungry, I'd be eating you right now."

"Glad to know where I stand in your list of priorities," she said dryly. "Does that mean I can dig in?"

He handed her a paper plate and a napkin. "Go for it, pet." He piled his own plate with food and then settled comfortably next to her. The sun was bright, but a cool breeze kept it from being too warm. The soft sounds of the ocean, the muted chatter of other beach bums, and the occasional squawk of seagulls simply created the soundtrack for his time with Buffy. It was wonderful, being with her on this beautiful day.

They ate, chatted, and enjoyed each other's company and the food.

"So, when are we going to do presents?" Buffy asked, biting into a luscious strawberry.

"You're doing that just to tease me, aren't you?" Spike said with a glazed look on his face.

"Hey, you brought the food. I'm just eating it." She sexily swept her tongue over her lips to catch the red juices--and then began giggling.

Cuteness and sexiness all rolled up in one--he leaned in and kissed her gently, tasting the strawberries on her mouth. "Okay. Before I get carried away, presents it is." He kissed her one more time and then reached for his guitar.

"Ooh, musical present?" Buffy asked, wiping her hands on her napkin and putting their trash into a bag. "Are you going to serenade me?"

"Do you want me to?" he asked as he opened the case and pulled out his instrument.

"You know how much I love your voice," she said, sitting with her legs crossed, eagerly awaiting what he had in store.

"Well, I do have a little something for you, a kind of pre-present song, if you will." He grinned while tuning his guitar, going through those natural motions that all musicians did to prepare. He cleared his throat, shifted the guitar in his lap, and then looked at Buffy.

She blushed under the intensity of his stare. He hadn't even begun to play, and she was already turned on. She ran her fingers nervously through her hair.

"Well, I wrote this song. For you, actually." He looked a little nervous, fidgeting with the pick in his hand. "I don't want you to think I'm this total sap or anything, but the song just came to me. I've never written a song for anyone before."

"Really?" Buffy commented, hugging her knees to her chest. He was so adorable, stuttering timidly. For her! She bit her lip and tried not to attack him with kisses; that would be for afterwards. Instead, she held herself tightly and waited to hear his lovely voice.

He strummed his guitar a few times, wanting to dispel the nerves that were making his fingers slightly shaky. Silly that he was so nervous, since he'd been playing the guitar for so long, but he'd never written a song that was so intimate to him, to his own personal feelings. He glanced at her and she smiled back, urging him on. Taking a deep breath, he began to sing.

I carry your picture with me everywhere
Sun-ripened lips, silky hair tickling me
Eyes of soft yearning and body of sweets
Fingers of tenderness, arms holding me

You make me
Warm with affection
Hot with desire
Lazy with loving
And
Roaring with fire

It's not poetry
Necessarily
But I can't help wanting to
Love you with words that are
Only the shadows of
All that you are
To me

Buffy's mouth was slightly parted, in complete and utter awe of the man before her. He had written that for her? For nerdy Buffy Summers? She had to blink away the tears that were starting to creep up on her--and to remind herself that this was her reality and not some dream that was taunting her. How long had she wanted Spike to just look at her--and now he was writing a song for her! She was totally speechless.

Letting the final note ring out over the ocean's crashing waves, he kept his eyes closed a little longer. As much as he'd wanted to see her reaction throughout the song, he just wasn't strong enough. He'd sang his heart out with his eyes shut, and now that the song was over, he was starting to feel even more nervous than before. Did she not like the song? Keeping his head down, he carefully opened his eyes. Still, she said nothing. Clearing his throat, he said cautiously, "Uh, did you like it?"

She muttered something inarticulate, still unable to form words. She closed her eyes, breathed in to suppress the tears that were threatening to spill, and then murmured, "Like it? Are you kidding? It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You wrote that for me?" She crawled forward as she spoke, needing to be nearer to him.

"I did. I know we haven't been dating for that long, but I don't know...it just feels so right. I'm falling in love with you." He finally got the courage to look up, and he was met with two damp hazel eyes gazing at him with amazement and love. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt his own eyes watering in response.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to me," she breathed, cupping his face with her hands. She brought him closer and kissed him tenderly, her entire spirit embracing him with her gentleness.

His entire body felt suffused by her love, his skin just tingling with that precious yet curious ache of feeling loved. It roiled in his stomach and swept over him. He put aside his guitar and pulled her fully into his arms.

She gasped as her body came in contact with his--that spark of desire never ceased to surprise and delight her. Every time he touched her, she felt that inner fire flaming and rising up to meet his touch. Her insides trembled and her skin sang. She loved the way he made her feel.

Their kisses melted into a warm, tight embrace, and Spike murmured, "Merry Christmas."

"I love you, too," she whispered. They shared an intimate smile, foreheads touching and arms embracing. "Oh, but I have to give you your gift!" She reached awkwardly for her bag, not wanting to leave his arms, and pulled it close.

"I still have your gift. That was just a pre-present song, remember?" His body was finally starting to unwind, though there were still thrills reverberating in his body.

"How am I supposed to compete with you? I don't have a pre-present song," she moaned, pouting.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll figure something out." He smirked at her and then nipped her lightly on the neck.

"Down, boy. Let me give you your gift." She reached into her bag and pulled out a small box.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a similarly sized box. "Hmm. Hope we didn't give each other the same thing.

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Whoa. Coincidence? You open yours first." She held it out to him and held her breath. She'd obsessed so much about the gift that she was sure he would hate it.

He placed her gift on the blanket and then opened what she gave him. It was a jewelry box, and he cocked one eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be on one knee?"

"Just open it," she retorted. His slow movements were only dragging out her torture. Biting her lip out of habit, she watched him open the lid. "It's a Thai spin ring. And the design is of Celtic knots," she babbled before he could even react to the gift.

He slid the ring on a finger, and it fit perfectly. It was a large silver ring with intricate designs, and the outer ring spun around. "Wow, that's really cool. And it looks so cool on my hand, don't you think? All manly and hot. And I just lost my favorite ring." He held out his hand for her to see.

"Yeah, I know. So I thought I could give you one to replace it." She still wasn't sure if he liked it or not, so she sat stiffly, trying to perceive his real reaction. She added, "A Thai spin ring is supposed to be calm and meditative--they believed that when you spun a wheel the gods would hear your prayers. And so it's supposed to bring luck or something. And the Celtic knots? Well, there's no confirmed meaning of them beyond the idea that everything is connected. So I figured I could just make up my own meaning for it. I remember the first time we kissed, how we walked under the stars and talked about the beauty of the world and I was just remembering that and thinking maybe when you spun the ring and saw all the knots you'd think of how we were connected and--"

Spike interrupted her ramblings with a kiss. "Buffy, I love it. It's perfect. And I will think of you, and how lucky I am, and how our lives are intertwined. It's really perfect." He kissed her again, allowing his lips to reassure her of how much he treasured her thoughtful gift.

"Really?" Buffy whispered, still a bit incredulous.

He kissed her again and stared intently into her eyes. "Really. I love what it means--even though I don't need a ring to think of you--I love that there's such beautiful thoughts behind it. I really do love it," he reassured her.

She played with his fingers, letting the ring spin around. "It looks nice on you."

"You have impeccable taste. And it fits perfectly." He watched her expression, wanting to know that was at peace.

"It does, doesn't it?" she commented, a genuine smile finally breaking across her face.

He kissed her cheek and then said, "Now you have to open my gift." He handed her the box.

"The song was such a wonderful gift by itself," she murmured, carefully pulling off the tape and unwrapping the gift meticulously.

"Oh, just rip it already," he complained.

"Patience." She finally pried open the lid--and revealed the very ring she'd been pining over since the craft fair. "Oh my god! Oh my god!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him and giving him a huge, sloppy kiss. "How did you know? Oh my god!" She slid the ring onto her finger and then flashed it around, loving the way the sunlight caught in its pattern.

He enjoyed her excitement and simply held her in his lap. "Oh, I'm sneaky like that. It was pretty hard not giving it to you early, though."

"Wait, you bought it all the way back then?" She stared at him in astonishment. "You thought we'd..." Her voice trailed off as she gazed at him.

"Luv, look at my track record. I don't date for fun. I date when there's someone I want, when I think things will work out. You, baby, are the one I want." He leaned in licked that luscious lower lip. "I wasn't going to let you get away that quickly."

She caught his lip and sucked on it before kissing him fully and then snuggled in his lap. "I have the best boyfriend in the world."

He smiled down at her and memorized the way her body molded against hers. It was going to be a long week without her. Not wanting to dwell on that, he simply held her in his arms and watched the beautiful sunset before them.

Ch. 19: Playing Telephone

Buffy looked at herself in the mirror for the fiftieth time that day. She carefully brushed her lips with shiny gloss, ran her fingers through her hair, flung it back to make sure it was soft and touchable (because Spike liked her hair), turned round and round to make sure her outfit perfectly accentuated her curves without looking slutty—and then sat down again to wait for Spike to come over. When the doorbell rang, she shot up, did another round of checks, stopped for a moment because the twirling and abrupt movements (along with her jitterbugging heart) were starting to make her dizzy, and then nonchalantly strolled down the stairs. She licked her lips one last time and then threw open the door.

And there was Anya. Tear-streaked, red-nosed, and suddenly in her arms, sobbing into her shoulder. Buffy pushed down her feelings of disappointment that it wasn't Spike and did her best to comfort her friend.

They entered the house, and somehow Buffy maneuvered her hysterical friend over to the couch. She waited patiently, handing her tissues and rubbing her back reassuringly.

When she finally got control of her breathing, Anya attempted to explain. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I just needed someone to talk to." Sighing dramatically, she launched into her brief explanation. "Xander broke up with me!" she wailed, starting to cry again.

Buffy sat with her mouth gaping. "What?!? How is that possible?" she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. Her questions were drowned out by Anya's renewed sobbing, resulting in Buffy's damp shoulder. They sat that way for a while, Buffy doing her best to calm her friend's nerves. "It'll be okay," she murmured. "I'm sure things will work out for you." Suppressing her curiosity, she merely sat and waited to hear the details.

"I just don't get what happened," Anya whispered as she brushed away the hair starting to stick to her teary face. "I mean, I thought we were having such a wonderful time at the beach, but I guess Xander just hated it." She sniffed loudly and took a deep breath, preparing herself for the story. "We were sharing a room, you know, because my brother let us switch, and then it was just like we were living together. Like we were married. You know?" Her lip quivered as she recalled the memories. "And I would choose what outfit for him to wear, and he would tell me which outfit looked the best on me, and then we would use the bathroom together, and all of that! I don't understand what could've gone wrooonnng!" she sobbed, throwing herself back into Buffy's arm with renewed bawling.

Of course, at that very moment, the doorbell rang. Hesitant to disengage herself but giddy over the prospect of seeing Spike, she contemplated how to get up without making Anya feel unwanted. She didn't have to think for long, because Dawn came sailing down the stairs.

"I'll get it!" she said sweetly. Smoothing her hair and putting on her nonchalant face, Dawn swung open the door and leaned slightly against it, her long legs curving nicely.

"Hey, bit," Spike said affectionately as he ruffled her hair a little. He didn't notice her look of bitterness in his eagerness to see Buffy. "Hey, what--?" He gave Buffy a look of confusion as he heard Anya blow her nose into her friend's shirt.

Buffy smiled weakly and shrugged a little. It wasn't the ideal situation, but he looked so fabulous that she just drank in his body for a while.

He came over and gave Buffy a quick kiss on the mouth before plopping down on the sofa. "Hey, An. What's--"

"No, don't you pretend like you don't know what's going on." She swiftly turned to stare at him, red-faced and angry. "You're his friend and you probably brainwashed him into thinking that we were better off apart. You!" She began smacking him on the thighs and chest, her tears blinding her aim but not lessening her strength.

"Ow! Anya, stop!" Spike jumped up from the couch and began rubbing his chest. "What's the matter with you? I don't know what you're--"

"No! I won't listen. Buffy, get him out of here." Anya began to cry again. "Please, Buffy, just make him go away." She threw her body onto the couch and buried her head in a pillow.

Anya's suffering soul lay on the cushions, and Spike's lean, hard body stood waiting to be tasted. But friendship had always come first, damn it. She stood and gave him a kiss, and Spike knew who had won.

"So, does this mean I won't even get to see you today?" he said, sighing, knowing it was impossible to avoid Anya's wails.

"I don't know." Buffy leaned and whispered, "She just got here, so she may need a little time. Can I call you later?"

He nodded and then brought her close for a hug. "God, but you feel good. You're just making this more difficult." He kissed her again and then quickly turned away. "Yeah, call me when you can." Squeezing her hand, he gave her a quick smile and then left.

Buffy tried not to let the scrunching of her heart keep her from comforting Anya. She pushed away all thoughts of Spike and focused on making her friend feel better.

--

"What do you mean, you just broke up? Gotta give me more than that." He lit a cigarette and waited for Xander to respond.

"You know, I guess I just got to thinking. Going away with her family, seeing her act all wife-y with the clothes and the sleeping and waking up, the demanding and the nagging and the expecting...it just got to be too much. I'm in high school, for Chrissake. I'm barely an adult, and Anya's already telling me what to wear? It was just scary." He slammed the stick into the cue ball and sighed as it thumped over the bank and onto the floor. He reached down to pick it up and began tossing it into the air. "I know everyone's going to think I'm an asshole for breaking up with her, but isn't it better now than later? I mean, who knows how long we would've lasted. And then if that's what it's going to be like, married...ugh." He shuddered.

"I understand what you're saying, but you sure she was all that? You don't think it was just the stress of going away with her family and all?" He motioned for the stick and began setting up his shot.

"Oh, you know how Anya can get. She's a total control freak. You remember planning the party, right?" He gave Spike a pointed look and then took a swig of soda. "She's just too structured for me. I like hanging out. Letting loose. Wearing baggy clothes. She's already trying to change me. I feel like I'm too young for all that shit."

"I guess she can be pretty intense. Anyway, I'm here for ya, man. If you need some time or want to hang out, just holler." He reached out and patted Xander on the back as they moved around the pool table.

"Thanks. I appreciate that. We'll see how it goes."

Xander shrugged and tried to pretend like it was nothing, like breaking up with his girlfriend of many months was nothing, but his unsteady stroke said otherwise. Spike noted Xander's movements but said nothing. He just blew a cloud of smoke into the air and hoped both of them were okay.

--

He had been dreaming of kissing Buffy, stroking her hair and running his hands over her ass when her pussy began vibrating against his thigh. She laughed at him but kept on vibrating. Finally he woke, his phone pulsing in his pocket.

He shook his head, clearing his mind of his dreams, and answered the phone. "Hello?" he mumbled.

"Oh, did I wake you? I'm sorry," Buffy whispered into the phone. "I know it's late, but I didn't want to go to sleep without talking to you. Go ahead and sleep."

"No, no, I'm awake. I'm glad you called. It's good to hear your voice." He willed himself awake and sat up in bed, shifting the phone to the other ear. "How's she doing?"

"Oh, she's had better days. Were you able to talk to Xander?" Buffy brushed her hair back, glancing at the way her face flushed at the sound of his voice.

Spike stifled a yawn and scratched his chest. "Yeah, I did. He pretends like it's no big, but he's hurting. I don't think he knew how much breaking up was going to affect him. Not sure how things are going to turn out, to be honest."

"I know." Buffy climbed into bed and snuggled into her pillow. "Anya's pretty bad. She was gonna sleep over, but at the last minute she decided she'd rather be in her own bed. She left about ten minutes ago." Buffy reached out to turn off her light.

"You're a good friend." He smiled in the dark and pictured her beautiful face. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, totally. Being a good friend is hard work." She giggled a little. "But it's nice unwinding with you. I'm glad you're not asleep."

"Are you all ready for bed?"

"Yup. I'm in my PJs and in bed. I didn’t waste any time." She imagined the way he looked talking on the phone, that sexy smile of his creeping across his face. "Are you in bed?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm in bed and you're in bed...What PJs are you wearing?" he joked, teasing her but wondering as well.

Buffy's heart began speeding up. "Oh, I'm just wearing a tank top and panties. You wanna guess which ones?" It'd been too long since they'd spoken, and she couldn't resist flirting.

"Well, am I going to like them? Because if I don't, I might make you take them off." He licked his lips, picturing her little ass in panties, and began running his hand across his chest.

She laughed a little and then stretched out her legs, feeling her blanket rub against her skin. "Actually, I'm not sure if you'll like them or not. They're new. They're red, and they say, 'vixen' on the butt." Not true--she was wearing white cotton panties, but she could play the game as well as he could.

His cock jumped at her innocent voice suddenly lowering and whispering "vixen" into his ear. His hand wandered lower, sliding against his thighs and his cock. "You naughty girl. You've been shopping without me."

Buffy smiled a little and played along. "I know. I should've waited, but I couldn't. Should I take them off?" She bit her lip, waiting to see how far they were going to take it.

Spike closed his eyes and pictured her body, sprawled on her bed, waiting for him. He was so hard it hurt. He breathed in slowly, licked his lips, and said, "Oh, yes. You've been bad, and I think I need to spank you."

His voice curled into the phone and caressed Buffy's body. It beckoned her to be naughty, to lower her voice and let him seduce her, but she wasn't quite confident enough to play that game. She giggled nervously, not quite knowing what to say to that.

His eyes flew open when he heard her tense up and hesitate. No, there was no way he could stop now. He switched tactics quickly and hoped she'd be willing to follow him. "I wish we could've spent more time together today. You looked beautiful, even if I only saw you for five minutes." She had. He'd loved everything about her today, and he had done his best not to be bitter about Anya and Xander's intrusion on their reunion after break.

Buffy warmed up to his compliments, though she wondered why he was so quick to abandon what seemed to be an interesting direction in their conversation. "Yeah, we'll have to make up for it tomorrow. You wanna come over after school?" Her heart began to beat at a normal pace again.

"Definitely. But I miss you." He took a breath, and then took a plunge. "You know what I would do if I were with you right now?"

And then her heart began to race again. "What?" she whispered.

He smiled at her slightly breathy answer. It made him a little more confident, knowing that she was a little more willing. "Well, first I'd give you a proper kiss, you know, to remind you of my lips since we've been apart for so long. Those little kisses I gave you weren't enough.

"I'd never forget your lips." She lightly touched them, recalling the way they heated up whenever he got near. In the far recesses of her mind, she felt that she was about to do something naughty, and that merely got her more excited.

"Well, in case your memory got hazy, I'd kiss you. I'd hold your body, feel your hair, and just kiss you." He imagined her body against his, the way she smelled, the way her heart beat against his chest whenever they kissed. And he began stroking his cock lightly. "Would you like that?"

"Yes, I love the way you kiss me," she said shyly. There was something about honesty that came out when they weren't directly in front of each other. It made her heart sing, knowing that he had imagined their meeting.

Spike's voice lowered a notch. "I would kiss you until your lips were swollen and your cheeks were flushed. And then I'd nibble on your neck, the sweet skin of your neck. Does that sound good?"

Buffy closed her eyes and imagined the way he kissed her, the way his lips skittered across her neck. It was such an amazing feeling. She ran her fingers over her skin, her touches becoming Spike's lips. "Mmhmm," she murmured.

He smiled at the picture in his mind, her body sprawled on her bed and the phone nestled against her ear. "You taste so delicious." His cock was getting harder at the sound of her breathing, and he continued to run his hand around his length. "And I'd taste your breasts, your lovely breasts."

Buffy moaned a little, her hands running over her body and squeezing her nipples as he spoke. His voice was so sexy; just the very sound of him got her panties wet. "Yes, I like that."

"What do you want me to do next?" He loved her breathless answer, but he wanted to know how far she was willing to take it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and answered, "I want you to, to, go down on me." He didn't answer at first, and Buffy was afraid she was asking too much, so she quickly added, "You know, while I do the same for you."

Spike groaned and shut his eyes tightly. His hand was firmly wrapped around his cock, and he had almost strangled himself at her words. God, he had the best girlfriend in the world! "Oh, baby, I'd love to do that. I wish I could be there to do that right now. Do you think you could help me out, and I can do the same?"

She knew what he was asking, and her hands were already sweating from their earlier words. But her hand had already wandered down there--it was just a matter of admitting it. "Okay," she whispered. And down her hand went, into her panties, searching for wetness. She breathed in quickly when she found it.

He heard her gasp and swiped his thumb over his head, catching its pre-cum. "I love the way you feel, the way you taste. I love that I give you pleasure."

Buffy was so lost in the pleasure that she took a while to respond. She slowed down a little and said quietly, "I love wrapping my tongue around you, the way you jump when I touch you." She bit her lip, hoping her words didn't sound stupid.

"Oh, god, you're so--" his words broke off by his quickened pants. Imagining her mouth on him, tasting him and loving it--the image was almost too much. "Are you close?"

She slid her fingers up against her clit and gasped at the luscious sensations zinging through her. His breathiness also made her hot, and she breathed, "Yeah, yeah." She tightened her thighs against her hand and searched for that cliff to jump off of.

Spike quickened his strokes, the whole time listening to her tiny mews and breaths of pleasure. He imagined her face, eyes screwed shut and breasts heaving as her hand wove through his hair. God, she was so sexy. He could feel himself climbiing, climbing--"Buffy!" he burst out.

"Oh, god, Spike," she whimpered, her clit throbbing against her and her body taut with pleasure.

He lay back, breaths slowing and legs weakening. "God, I missed you, pet." He smiled shyly.

"I missed you, too." She smiled back.

Ch. 20: Stupid Things
Buffy’s face was flushed with embarrassment--how was Spike going to react when he saw her after that conversation? Her eyes kept glancing towards the doors, wondering when he would arrive and take his daily place next to her before the school day came. Time kept passing, and still no Spike. What was happening?
“I’m just going to ignore him completely when I see him. That’s what I should do, right? Not even give him the time of day, right?” Anya asked, her red eyes belying the perky sound of her voice. Buffy’s heart ached a little for her, knowing that she had had a long night--but Buffy also knew that she was only half listening to her friend, who had been talking non-stop about her recent breakup.
“You should just do what comes naturally. If you want to talk to him, maybe you should?” Buffy smiled reassuringly, trying her best to give good advice.
“What? No, I should definitely not talk to him. If anything, he should talk to me. He does not deserve my attention, because he broke up with me, remember?” She clenched a random napkin that had unfortunately come into her hands.
Buffy sighed. There was no way she’d forget that Xander had broken up with her. But where was Spike? They had always spent the mornings together, even before they had begun dating. This was their group’s spot. Understandably, Xander wasn’t there. Did that mean that Spike wasn’t coming either?
The warning bell rang, and the girls began collecting their things to get ready for class. Slowly making their way to the doors, Spike suddenly appeared before her.
Giving Spike a dirty look, Anya muttered, “Ugh, I’ll see you in class, Buffy,” and then stalked away.
Spike, completely unaware of the insult he'd just received, smiled at Buffy, touched her face gently, and gave her a quick kiss. “Hey, sorry I didn’t come earlier. I was chatting with Xander, and he really wanted some company. Is it the same for you?”
Buffy reached out for him and hugged him, ignoring all the comments from the students trying to get around them to go to class. “Yeah, Anya hasn’t stopped talking about it yet. I missed seeing you this morning." She played with his shirt a little and then leaned up to give him another kiss. "I hope you have a good day today." Their lips met again, savoring their connection..
“God, get a room!” Students grumbled as they pushed around the affectionate couple.
Slowly, they pulled away from each other and headed to class.
--
“I can’t believe you’re being so nice to him. He hurt me, Buffy!” Anya said vehemently, poking her in the arm.
“Anya, he’s my friend, and—“
“And what? Aren’t gals supposed to come before guys or whatever the phrase is? You’re supposed to be on my side!”
“I am on your side. What makes you think I’m not?”
“I see the way you and Spike are. He is so on Xander’s side, and you never defend my side! Someone has to hear my side! Especially since Xander won’t,” she muttered to herself before burying her head in her arms. She mumbled something into her arms.
“What?” Buffy slid in next to her, trying to be comforting without letting her annoyance tinge her voice. “I can’t hear you like that.”
Anya rested her face against her arms, completely sprawled on the desk. “I just said that I need someone on my side. I still want him back, and if people just let things rest, he’ll never know—he’ll never get that—“ Her voice broke off as the tears overcame here.
Buffy held her for a while, trying to rub away the tremors of her sobs. “I’m on your side. Don’t worry. We’ll get him back for you. He just doesn’t realize it yet.” Hoping she sounded comforting, Buffy began to concoct a plan to get Xander to realize how much he and Anya belonged together.
--
Hot chocolate in hand, Buffy made herself comfortable on her couch. “So...” she said softly, blowing a little on her mug.
“Yeah? What’s on your mind? You look like something’s bothering you.” Spike rubbed her shoulder, enjoying the feel of her warmth.
Buffy relished the warmth of the cocoa and the boyfriend: the perfect combination. Sighing a little, she began her plaint for Anya. "So, what has Xander said about Anya? I mean, about the whole break-up?"
Spike cocked his eyebrow and leaned back into the couch cushions. "Is that what's on your mind? Really?"
"Yes. Totally. I mean, Anya's really broken up about it all, and I just wanted to know what Xander's thoughts were. It's not like he's going to talk to me about it, and I know he talks to you."
"But you don't think it's wrong if I tell you what he's told me?" Spike asked, his voice tinged with hesitation.
"No, it's not like I'm going to go tell Anya what you tell me. I'm just trying to understand more. You know, so that we can avoid the same thing." She crossed her toes under her legs and hoped he couldn't tell she was slightly lying about the whole not-telling-Anya bit.
Spike sighed, scratching the back of his neck a little as he decided what he should say.
Buffy saw that he was caving and flew in for more. "I'm not saying you have to tell me everything, but I just want to know his side. I definitely know Anya's. It's not a secret that they broke up, so it's not a big deal if you tell me Xander's side." She shrugged a little, nonchalantly even, trying not to show how much she wanted to know.
"Okay, I can tell you." Sliding forward, hands loosely holding his mug, Spike said, "It's simple, really. Anya was acting like they were married or something, and Xander just wasn't ready for that. I mean, we're in high school. Marriage is a long looong ways away. She spooked him."
Buffy tensed up immediately, suddenly less interested in why Xander had dumped Anya and more interested in the way Spike seemed to agree with his friend. "What do you mean, marriage is a long ways away?"
Spike continued on casually, completely oblivious to the sudden tension and incipient argument. "I mean that Xander was thinking about having a good time with his girlfriend, and Anya was picking out his clothes and doing wife-y things."
Buffy set her cup down on the table. "And that's what made him break up with her?"
"Yeah, she was just becoming a little too, I don't know, wrapped up in the whole thing." He gestured flippantly with his hand. "The trip together just clinched things. Xander's not thinking about marriage. Come on, we're only in high school, for Chrissake."
Buffy looked at him with wide eyes. "You sound like marriage is such an awful thing."
Spike shrugged. "It's not that it's awful. But we're in high school. It's not exactly on our minds."
"You don't ever think about it?" Buffy's heart tensed in dreaded anticipation of his words.
"As a senior in high school? I mean, I—wait."
She suppressed her rising despair and instead clung to the climbing anger that was chilling her childhood dreams. "Is it so incredibly stupid to have the hopes that maybe a high school romance will last longer than graduation?"
"That's not—"
"So you think that we girls are just silly to even consider that possibility? To treat you in a way that hints that we might have a future together?" she asked shrilly, her eyes squinting at him.
"I didn't—"
"I can't believe that's why Xander broke up with Anya! And that you agree with him! So you're saying that if I were to act like maybe we might get married you'd get 'spooked' and take off? That's pretty fucked up."
"Buffy, I—"
"So you're not really interested in something deep and meaningful? You're just waiting to get into my pants? I can't believe you."
"Will you just listen—"
"To what? To you try to sweet talk me when you're not even thinking of me in that way? That I'm just this temporary thing to you?"
Spike closed his eyes in exasperation. "You're not making any sense, and—"
"Oh, so now I'm not making any sense? I'll tell you what doesn't make any sense. Being with someone who only sees you as a temporary fuck till high school's over."
Spike jumped up and muttered, "Unlikely since we're not fucking." He shook his head, trying not to succumb to his immediate impulse to spar with her verbally and opened his mouth to say something when Buffy leapt up.
"Oh, sorry if I don't put out like your crazy exes—"
Spike clenched his jaw in rage. "They didn't put out to me—but that's not the point. The point is—"
Crossing her arms defiantly, Buffy retorted, "Oh, enlighten me. What is the point. Tell me, oh smart one."
He closed his eyes in frustration. "Will you stop that and please listen to what I'm saying?"
"Oh, so now I don't listen? What else do you not like about me?" Her blood was racing through her, and her indignation was making her hands tremble a little. His insinuation that marriage was totally out of the question, that they'd likely break up soon enough, had pushed her into a world of incoherent fury and intense vulnerability. It was all she could do to wield her words as a sword, the way she was so used to doing. Something within pushed her to cut him deeply, to make him say the words that would make her pain complete and fulfill what she had expected all along.
He grabbed his jacket and stalked towards the door. "Forget it. You're not making any sense and this is just stupid."
Buffy followed him, rage still winning over her hurt. "So this is stupid? We're stupid?"
Spike turned to face her. "Yeah, it is. This is stupid."
"Well then you can take your stupid ass and leave, 'cause I wouldn't want to be in a stupid relationship." Her chest still heaving, emotions running out of control, Buffy dared him to say the words again, even though she didn't want it to end; she had too much pride, too much anger to let her guard down now and apologize, to admit how stupid their argument really was.
Spike narrowed his eyes for a second; then, through gritted teeth he said, "Done. I'm outta here." He flung open the door and stomped out. Slamming the door behind him, he threw his head back and yelled out in frustration, his voice snarling through the night, before he climbed into his car and peeled out of the driveway.
Her heart still wincing from the sound of his harsh howls, she finally let go of her anger and slumped against the door.

Ch. 21: Enemies and Friends

"Well that was stupid."

Buffy glared at Dawn through the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. "Shut up. You don't know anything." She pushed herself up and started up the stairs. Dawn followed closely.

"Yeah, I do. I know that you fucked up because of your little pretty wedding dream. He was talking about Xander and Anya. He wasn't even talking about you guys, and you had to make it about you." Dawn's voice dripped with disdain, looking at her like she was the dumbest girl in the world.

She stomped into her room, trying to avoid her too perceptive stares. "Shut up! He's an asshole, and I—"

"Just made the dumbest mistake! I can't believe you were actually dating Spike, the hottest guy you've loved for, like, ever, and you—"

Buffy slammed the door in her sister's face. She didn't want to think about what she'd said; she still wanted to be angry, to blame him for being stupid—not to think about the possibility that she might've fucked up something she'd wanted for years. No, anger was good. Brusquely wiping the tears from her face, she called Anya.

--

Anya had definitely made her feel better, though her words were rather empty and didn't fill the hole that was steadily increasing as she considered what had actually surpassed. In her usual blunt manner, Anya had called Spike a total asshole and had reassured her that they would stick together. Her friend had been surprisingly chipper, as if finding another person's drama made hers more bearable—either that or she was glad that someone else was feeling the way she was feeling.

Either way, after Buffy hung up the phone, she lay down on her bed and hoped, prayed, begged for Spike to call her.

--

"Dude, what happened?" Xander said as he opened the door to see his friend, rather distraught and angry, at his doorstep.

Spike entered, boots heavy on the ground, and plopped onto the couch. "Why are girls so stupid and irrational?"

"Ahh. I see the light." He closed the door and headed to the kitchen to grab munchies. "You want a coke or something?"

"Yeah, whatever." Spike propped his feet up on the coffee table and closed his eyes, shaking his head at the recent developments.

Xander came back with chips, a couple sodas, and some peanuts. "So tell me what happened. You and Buffy got into a fight?"

"Worse." He rubbed his face with his hands, still in disbelief.

"Whoa. Worse? Don't tell me you guys broke up." Xander's eyes widened as he saw Spike's slow nod. "God, what happened? I mean, you were all sickeningly happy and missing her all break, and all of a sudden no more? Please tell me it's not because me and An broke up." When Spike didn't respond right away, Xander closed his eyes and groaned.

"Exactly. I don't want you thinking it's your fault or anything, because it's totally Buffy's fault, but it started with you guys. You will not believe what she was saying." He grabbed some nuts and began chewing loudly, as if taking it out on the food.

"What, did she say I was a terrible person for breaking up with Anya?" Xander said, rolling his eyes to hide the annoying feeling that perhaps he was terrible. He took a swig of his soda to avoid eye contact.

"She said that I was a fucking jerk for not wanting to marry her." He spat out the words with disgust before taking a long gulp of his drink. "I was trying to explain your side, you know? She was all, 'I just want to know Xander's side of the story.' And then—"

"Whoa whoa now wait a minute. You told her what I said? I thought you said you wouldn't," Xander said, his voice going up a notch.

Spike groaned. "Oh come on. It's not like I shared anything special. I just explained that Anya was pouring it on thick and that you weren't ready for that kind of crazy closeness. Am I wrong?"

"No, you're not. I just thought we agreed not to tell Buffy." Xander sighed, cracking his neck in nervousness. "I just feel like Anya will take the info and run with it."

"Are you seriously upset, man? Because I wasn't trying to betray your trust or anything," Spike responded earnestly.

"Naw, you think I'm a girl or something? It's no big. I was just surprised. Doesn't matter anyway. It's not like me and An are getting back together, so it doesn't matter if she does hear." Xander's voice took a tender tone, which Spike would've caught on, had he not been so absorbed with his own problems.

"Well, sorry about that. Didn't mean to cause problems." Spike reached out to pat his back in apology.

"Whatever. So marriage? Tell me what Buffy said," Xander replied, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, yeah! Marriage! I mean, what the fuck? She's mad at me because I haven't bought a fucking ring? Stupid," he muttered, reaching for chips.

Xander shook his head in agreement. "What is it with marriage and girls anyway? I mean, it's not like they're going to get married at 18. Why all the hubbub?"

"Damn straight. Girls can't get mad at us for not thinking about marriage when they're only thinking about the dress and the party. You don't hear girls talking about the groom, do you?" He snorted in disgust.

"Totally. And we don't need them anyway! Down with girls. Up with video games and peanuts and cars!" Xander belched loudly to punctuate his point.

Spike laughed at him and gave him a high five. Neither wanted to admit that their words seemed a little empty.

--

After long nights of tossing and turning and crying and pacing, Buffy finally got the courage to consider approaching Spike during lunch--but being with Xander, his new cohort in single-ness, Spike completely ignored her, and he and Xander didn't even look up as she approached. Catching herself before being humiliated, Buffy quickly turned away and spent the rest of the period in the library.

Seeing her hurt look, Spike swore to himself and then decided to talk to her the next day.

Later that week, when Spike was finally alone and ready to talk to Buffy, she was surrounded by her friends, and Anya gave him a malicious glare and made gestures that suddenly made him a little worried for his physical well-being.

Buffy pretended that it didn't matter, that his retreat was only proof that he was a jerk; she tried not to imagine how things might have gone had she been alone.

Both decided to wait till the other approached again, and both were disappointed.

--

"Valentine's Day is this weekend. What a shitty holiday," Buffy mumbled, diving into her ice cream.

"Yeah, probably some man who made up the holiday, trying to make us all feel unwanted. We should have an anti-Valentine's Day celebration," Anya replied, jabbing her spoon into her own pint.

Buffy eyes perked up at the idea of having something, anything to distract her from the fact that she was no longer part of a couple. "Yeah, we should totally do that! Down with Valentine's Day!"

The girls both sat up, eager to plan the event. "You in, Willow?"

They saw Willow hesitate, and Anya rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, you still have a boyfriend. Forgot that you weren't really in our club."

"Hey!" Willow protested. "I'm so in the girls club. I'm a girl, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you still have a boyfriend, and so you don't totally qualify. I mean, you and Oz are probably doing something, right?"

"Probably, but—"

"What? He hasn't planned anything yet? What a bastard!" Anya exclaimed, viciously throwing a teddy bear across the room. "Boys suck!"

"N-no, he's planning something; I just don't know what it is yet," Willow finished lamely.

"Yeah, and that's why you're not in the club," Buffy finished promptly. She wasn't trying to hurt Willow, but she was so involved in her own pain that she didn't really care if others were unhappy. She was unhappy—it was only fair that others shared the feeling every now and then.

Willow started to interrupt again, but Anya shushed her. "No, Willow, you can't. If you still have a steady source of orgasms, you're definitely OUT of the club," she said bitterly.

Buffy suppressed the desire to check on Willow, to see if she were hurt by Anya's brusqueness. She was feeling very selfish, very self-involved, and she simply didn't feel like looking out for someone else. And when she finally did look up, Willow was gone.

"Where'd Willow go?" Buffy inquired, watching Anya create her list of reasons to hate Valentine's Day.

"Probably to her boyfriend," she grumbled, slashing her pen viciously across the page.

Buffy sighed and reached for her purse. "I'd better get going. Gotta have dinner with Mom."

"Okay," Anya said, not really looking up from her mess of words. "But you're in on this, right?"

"Totally. Just tell me what you want me to do." She smiled at her friend and then let herself out.

--

"Buffy, tell me what's on your mind. You're brain is whirling around—I can tell." Mrs. Summers paused, her fork in mid-air, looking concerned as her daughter pushed food around her plate.

"Hmm? Oh, it's nothing. Just a calc test." Buffy shrugged and continued skating her chicken around in circles.

Joyce Summers put her fork down and stared intently at her daughter. "Buffy, please just tell me what's wrong. I haven't pushed in the past days, weeks even, but—"

"It's because she's stupid. What?" Dawn said innocently as she ignored the glares from her sister. "You know I'm right. It's because she broke up with Spike and now he doesn't want her back, and—"

"Shut up, Dawn. You have no idea—"

"Whatever, I heard the fight, and I hear you on the phone with Anya, so—"

"What, are you eavesdropping? You snotty—"

"Enough! Dawn, I think you're done. Go play on the Internet or something." Joyce dismissed her younger daughter with a flip of her fork. "I'll talk to you later. Don't think you're getting off easy."

Dawn grumbled but left the table. "Just ask her. She'll tell you she's stupid. Oww!" In retaliation to her sister's kick, Dawn smacked Buffy on the shoulder before running upstairs.

"Did you see that? Mom, she—"

"Buffy, please. You're not going to distract me."

Buffy's shoulders sagged in defeat. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to talk to someone about it, someone who was outside all the drama and wasn't stupid like her sister.

"So you want to tell me what's going on, in your own words? Or am I going to have to go on Dawn's lovely report?"

Buffy sighed miserably. "Actually, she's right. I am stupid. I totally ruined something good, and now—" She broke off, not really sure what "now" meant at all.

"Have you talked to Spike? I mean, I assume that's what this is about?" Joyce asked gently, trying to make sense of her daughter's drama.

"No, not at all." Buffy stopped pretending to eat her food and put her fork down. "It seems like whenever we try to talk to each other, it's not right. The timing's off. Like, he's with Xander and they're doing the guy thing, or Anya's threatening to cut off his parts when he tries to talk to me. It's like we've started this war, when really I'd rather just get back together with him."

"Well, why don't you call him?"

"But—he's wrong! He should call me!" Buffy pouted, her voice tinged with whininess.

Joyce resisted the urge to roll her eyes and said, "Back up and tell me what happened."

Buffy proceeded to tell the whole story, quite dramatically, avoiding the part about how she had goaded him into the break-up.

Joyce, hearing the story through a true mother's eyes, understood exactly what had happened.

"Buffy, if you really want him back, don't you think it's worth a little bit of discomfort? You say that he should apologize, but perhaps he just didn't hear what you were saying, and perhaps you misunderstood what he was saying?"

Buffy's immediate reaction was to deny that, but realizing that it was her mother, she merely slumped onto the table. "I just...it's so hard to go back and take back things that I've said. That's how it was before—we were always lashing out at each other. So it was just easy to fall back into that, and I think I might have said some mean and kinda stupid things. So it's hard to admit that I was wrong about that without reminding him of all that I'd said. You know?"

"I do, honey. But it might be worth it, in the end. Don't you think?" Joyce encouraged, her hand caressing her in understanding.

Buffy paused, biting her lip. "But what if he doesn't want me anymore?" Buffy finally looked up, her eyes slowly watering.

Joyce's heart tightened, and she pulled her daughter close in a rare moment of teenage dependence; she held her close and merely waited. "How could he now want my beautiful daughter?" She smiled into Buffy's hair.

Sniffing a little, Buffy pulled away, not wanting to seem too childish. "I don't know. I'll think about calling him. It's just, well, I think Anya would feel betrayed if I called him. It's like we have this club, this 'I hate boys' club, and if I call Spike, I'll be leaving her."

"Now, do you really think Anya wants to be part of that club?"

"I don't know...sometimes I wonder." She bit her lip, thinking about Anya's brutal comments yet longing looks at Xander.

Joyce nodded. "Well, you keep wondering, but in the mean time, consider calling Spike. He might want to hear from you."

Hugging her mom, Buffy said, "I'll think about it. Thanks, Mom." Kissing her on the cheek, she made her way up to her room.

And stared at the phone for about an hour. When she finally got up the courage to call, the phone rang and rang, unanswered. She hung up the phone, curled into a ball, and crawled into bed.

--

"I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. The band's been rehearsing for hours. I think Spike's just taking out some aggression, and he's making all of us suffer for it. You weren't sleeping, were you?" Oz asked, his voice calm and affectionate.

"No, I wasn't sleeping. But, uh, I have a question for you," Willow began, her voice a little hesitant.

"What's up?"

"Uh, what are we doing for Valentine's Day?" she blurted out, unable to think of any valid transition.

Oz smiled. "Well if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

"You know, Valentine's Day isn't that big of a deal, and, so, well, if you don't want to do anything we can—"

"Wait, what? You love Valentine's Day. You've been talking about it for months. This is supposed to be my year to surprise you. What's going on?" Oz asked, concerned.

Willow took a deep breath—and then chickened out. "Nothing! No, you're right. We'll do something, and you'll surprise me, and—"

Oz interrupted her rambling. "Seriously, Willow, what's up? You can tell me."

Willow took another deep breath. "Promise you won't get mad at me?"

Oz sat down on his bed and then said, "You know I can't promise you that. But I will promise to listen. You've got my attention."

One more deep breath. "Anya and Buffy, well, they kinda were thinking of doing this thing for Valentine's Day and so I was just, I don't know, well..." she trailed off.

Oz looked up at the ceiling and tried to keep his voice even. "You know, I love that you're so caring about your friends, but maybe sometimes you could care about yourself? About me? You know we've been planning this, and it was your idea. But you're willing to toss it because you're friends are sad that they're single on Valentine's Day, out of their own fault."

"It's not their fault!" Willow responded immediately in their defense. "No, Xander and Spike—"

"Xander and Spike didn't do anything wrong and you know it," Oz replied, his own loyalties emerging.

"That's not fair. You only hear their side. All I wanted was to be their friend on Valentine's Day because your friends were meanies." Willow tried to soften her voice a little, not wanting to fight.

Oz blew out his breath slowly. "Okay, Willow. Whatever you say. But if you want to spend Valentine's Day with the girls, I'm not going to stop you. When you're ready to be a girlfriend, give me a call. I'll be here. I'll see you later."

"Wait! Are you breaking up with me?" her voice getting a little hysterical.

"No, I'm not. I don't want to break up with you, and I'm not going to. But I'm not going to spend that day with you while you're thinking about your friends. It's not fair to me. Okay? Go be with your friends."

"Okay," she whispered, not sure how to respond.

"Bye, Willow," he murmured before hanging up the phone.

Willow hung up the phone and, though getting what she wanted, felt surprisingly dissatisfied. Too tired to call anyone else, she decided she'd just show up to their get-together. That was all she wanted, right?

--

"So, you guys want to hang out this weekend?" Xander asked nonchalantly, as if they didn't already hang out non-stop.

"I'm in," Oz said, ignoring the weird looks he got from both his friends.

"Wait, you're in as in—" Spike hinted with his hands.

"No, I'm not that in," he said concisely, "but I'm in for this weekend."

Spike frowned, then shrugged. "Okay." He went back to setting up his shot, circling the pool table.

"And I was thinking we could hang out at my uncle's cabin. He's taking my aunt to New York for Valentine's Day. Thought maybe we could play poker or something there."

Xander brightened up immediately. "Dude, that'd be awesome! You know, the guys, outdoors, doing manly things." He flexed and drew in his chest. "I am in," he said deeply.

Spike smiled in agreement. "Sounds pretty cool. You, uh, sure you don't want to take Willow up there?" he asked honestly, tilting his head.

Oz shook his head. "We're cool. She's doing her thing, and I'm doing mine. If you guys are in, I can come by in the morning and pick everyone up. 8 am sound good, to get an early start?"

The two guys nodded enthusiastically.

They finished their game and decided to call it a night, excited about their new plans for the weekend.

Ch. 22: Drama Queens

"Ahhh. A deck of cards, a roaring fire, and a refrigerator full of beer. What more could a guy ask for?" Xander asked with a smile.

Though all three of them could easily imagine something more, something with soft curves and kissable skin, they all agreed wholeheartedly.

"This place is pretty awesome," Spike commented, nodding at their surroundings. It had taken them a little over an hour to reach the place, and they'd eased in quickly, gathering firewood, setting up their sleeping arrangements, and taking stock of what was there. The kitchen was much better stocked than they'd anticipated, courtesy of Oz's uncle, and the cabin was warm and inviting. "Thanks for letting us crash here this weekend." He handed out beers and then slid into his seat.

"No problem." Oz nodded back as he quickly shuffled and dealt the cards. "Xan?" And thus began their first round of poker.

--

"Do you think this color looks good with my skin tone?" Anya asked, eyes squinting at the blood red nail polish currently adorning her hands. "Do you think it's too goth?"

Buffy nodded as she blew gently on her own nails. "Yes, I do. I think it's hideous."

"God, don't be shy about your opinions, really. I mean, if it was so hideous, why didn't you say anything before?" Anya retorted, sarcasm dripping.

"Well, it's not like you would've listened. You wanted the color, so you put it on. It's not my fault it's hideous." Buffy shrugged and then continued to work on her own nails.

Anya stared at her in annoyance and then got up to retrieve the nail polish remover. "Someone's got a stick up her ass," Anya muttered as she walked the short distance.

Buffy heard her comments but said nothing. She really did feel bitchy—and the least of it was that on Valentine's Day she was sitting on her ass painting her nails instead of cuddling with her—a—any boyfriend. She tried to channel her anger into painting perfect nails.

Anya plopped down again and began rubbing viciously at her nails. "You know, it's not like your nails look all that great either."

Buffy gave her a dirty look. "I think they look fine." She pursed her lips and tried not to get involved in a silly argument fueled more by her discontentment with life and less by her annoyance with Anya.

"Well, I—"

Anya was interrupted by a doorbell. Both girls tried not to hope it might be boys, to hope Xander and Spike might have created some romantic gesture to win back their hearts. Anya scrambled up to answer the door and opened it as nonchalantly as she could.

It was Willow.

"Hey, guys! I came with Oreos and Godiva truffles!" she proclaimed, shaking a bag of goodies.

"Hey, there!" Anya said, hiding her disappointment with a bright smile. "I thought you and Oz had a—"

"No, we decided that, well, anyway, I'm here! Tell me what you guys are doing," Willow interrupted as she joined their girly gathering.

Buffy's face showed dismay as she asked forlornly, "Don't tell me you guys broke up, did you?"

Willow shook her head. "No, no, we're still together," she reassured them. "We're just not doing all that tonight."

Anya snorted. "If I had a boyfriend, I'd definitely be with him and not you guys."

"Gee, thanks," Buffy retorted.

All Willow's initial excitement at joining her friends slowly began to dissipate as she sensed the tension in the room. Bracing herself, she threw herself into the nails and chocolate and hoped for the best.

--

Up at the cabin, the night quickly created empty beer bottles, crumpled bags of chips, loud belches, messy cards, and drunken laughter—much to the enjoyment of the boys.

"Yeah, who's the man? Who's the man?" Xander slurred slightly as he gathered the pot. It didn't matter that the chips meant nothing; it was just about winning. When he had created a small pile in front of him, he smiled crazily and then slumped over them, the tears coming quickly.

"What's up? What's wrong?" Spike asked immediately, putting his empty beer bottle on the table. "Did something happen just now?"

Xander shook his head and continued bawling, wiping his nose and eyes on his sleeve. "It's just—it's just—" He began crying again, the innumerable beers loosening his hold on his emotions.

Spike and Oz shared a look of concern, but neither knew what to say. An uncomfortable silence began to grow, and Spike got up to get more beer in an effort to dispel the quiet.

Xander raised his head and breathed in loudly. "I miss her. I want her back." His brown eyes were red with pain.

Oz nodded in understanding and then put down his cards, acknowledging that the game was over and their night was turning towards different kinds of games.

Spike handed Xander another bottle, popped one for himself and stared at it morosely before launching into his own whine. "Fuck, I miss her, too." His mouth drooped in a sad pout.

The two boys brooded for a while, nursing their beers, when Oz finally said, "So do something about it."

Spike's face contorted with sadness as he began to share his feelings. "I didn't want to break up with her. I mean, everything was going really well, you know?" His voice began to quiver with emotion. "But she had to go and push me, and I was angry, and she was angry, and then it just happened. It's not like I wanted it. You believe me, don't you?" He looked up at both his friends in supplication.

Xander nodded sympathetically before wiping his nose on his collar. "Anya—she's so beautiful. She's so amazing, and sometimes I feel like she's too good for me. And so when we were together, her family with all their money and Anya with all her high expectations of me—I just felt like I would never be good enough. She'd always have to fix me up or hide my faults or something. I just couldn't take it anymore." He breathed in to combat the tears starting to form again. "But now I miss her so much. I could be a better man. I could—I just need her. Maybe she'll take me back?"

"Yeah, maybe Buffy will take me back? I didn't mean to be mean," Spike added, nodding his head in agreement. They both continued consoling each other as Oz looked on in bewilderment.

Finally, Oz clinked his beer on the table and faced both of his whimpering friends. "You guys are fucking stupid," he said in his characteristically calm voice. He held up his hand as both jumped to defend the other. "What I mean is, well, you guys are fucking stupid. You had girlfriends—you fucked it up. The question is not whether they'll take you back—they're just mad at you and want you to apologize. The question is HOW are you going to do it and stay smelling of roses? How are you guys going to get them back and impress them at the same time? That's the question."

Xander and Spike stared at Oz, as if he were the Great Wizard and had all the answers. Mouths open, they nodded for him to continue.

"Now I'll help—and I'm not doing it just for you. I have a girlfriend, and your women are screwing things up for her and me because she feels bad for being happy. That just won't work for me, so I'm helping you out. And, of course, because we're friends and pals before gals and all that," he added with shrug. "Anyway, I have to know that you guys seriously want this to happen. You seriously want your girlfriends back?"

Spike gravely replied, "Yes. I want her back. I really want her back." Xander merely nodded vehemently with his eyes filled with hope.

"Okay, then first, you gotta sign something that says you want it, because I'm not about to let you guys go to sleep drunk with promises and wake up with no recollection of this conversation. He grabbed a pad of paper near the phone and scrawled a few words. "Okay, this says that you guys agree to do whatever it takes to get your girls back. Now, sign here."

Grabbing the pen, Xander signed with care before passing it on to Spike, who signed with flourish.

Oz nodded. "Okay. So here's what we'll do."

--

"Ugh. I can't believe this is how I'm spending my Valentine's Day," Anya muttered as she reached for the nail polish remover yet again.

Buffy, who'd gotten fed up with her constant mutterings, finally burst out and said, "God, what is your problem? This was your idea! Why do you have such an attitude? I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you!"

"What? What are you talking about? Are you blaming me for your break-up? Because everyone knows he dumped you because of that huge pole up your ass," Anya retorted, her face burning with anger as she finally vented her suppressed emotions.

Buffy began to fume. "If it weren't for your stupid 'pity me poor me Xander's gone boo fucking hoo' speeches, I wouldn't have tried to find out from Spike what had happened, and we would be together right now!" Buffy yelled, her voice rising in hysterics.

"You stupid bitch! Xander still loves me! He just needs some space right now, but we're going to get back together!!" Anya screamed, her eyes beginning to fill with tears and her cheeks completely flushed with rage.

"Shut up! He doesn't love you! How could he love someone who nags and picks and only cares about money and appearance!" Buffy yelled back, her own tears carelessly running down her face.

"Don't blame me for Spike. How could he love a cold-hearted, selfish bitch like you? He was probably dying from all the nasty mean things you always said to him. At least I know I treated my man right," Anya blurted out, sniffing loudly.

"Guys, guys! Please stop fighting!" Willow interrupted, her own tears making her voice quiver in fear. "I can't take all this fighting, and you're just saying things that you'll regret later!"

At the same time, both Anya and Buffy turned to Willow and yelled, "Shut up!"

Buffy's eyes widened, and she glared at Anya and said, "Don't tell her to shut up! What did she do to you? You're just not satisfied until everyone around you is miserable!"

"What? You're the one who treats her like shit. Like she wants to hear about all your problems. No one cares! No one cares about how Spike dumped your ass!"

"Like anyone cares about your superficial, annoying princess act? Just because you're rich doesn't mean you're better than the rest of us!"

"Please stop," Willow cried out, her hands trying to separate the two girls who were closing in on each other.

Anya yanked her arm away and muttered, "Fuck you all! I hate you!" She turned and stomped away.

Buffy snorted with disgust, grabbed her bag, and stalked out, mumbling, "Stupid bitch," as she left the house with a slam.

Willow just sank to her knees and let her tears overtake her.

--

When Monday morning came, Buffy took a few calming breaths and readied herself to apologize to both Willow and Anya for her terrible words. She wasn't sure what had possessed her, but she was sorry regardless. Entering the cafeteria, she looked over to their table.

It was empty.

Four years of friendship, laughs, fears, memories—never once had that table been empty on a school morning. The thought filled her heart with despondence; before letting the tears fall, she turned away and headed for the library.

Blinking back the tears that were becoming too frequent, Buffy swiftly walked through the halls, hoping no one would stop her or say hi; she just wanted to be alone to deal with the emptiness she was feeling.

As she pushed open the door to the library, she ran right into a black t-shirt. Her heart sank as she smelled his familiar scent.

"Are you okay?" his voice asked gently. Spike could tell something was wrong immediately, and his plan for a reunion suddenly flew away at the sight of his girl looking so unhappy.

Buffy bit her lip, and her body contracted in an effort to keep itself from completely falling apart. The one person she'd been wanting to see for so long—just not today, not at this moment. Buffy shook her head and simply kept walking. It was too much to deal with, and she pushed forward to hide herself in the stacks of the library.

Spike watched her back and tried not to be miserable at her blatant dismissal. He breathed in deeply and went searching for Oz for advice.

Heading to the cafeteria, he found Xander and Oz just getting to their familiar spot. "What's up? I just saw Buffy, and she looked awful."

"Looks like the girls got into a little spat this weekend," Oz responded.

Xander's eyes widened with surprise. "Really? You mean, like, they broke up with each other?"

Spike chuckled a little before letting the seriousness of the situation sink in. "So, is Willow okay?"

Oz furrowed his brow a little before answering. "She's seen better days. I'm sure things will pass, but there were some hurtful things said. We may have to revise our plan."

Spike nodded. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"Me, too," Xander added.

"Maybe we can get your girlfriends back and help them patch up their problems at the same time?" Oz suggested, his face full of thoughts.

"Let's do it. I hate seeing Buffy unhappy."

The three guys began talking softly, planning their way to happiness.

Ch. 22: Cover Me

Buffy made her way directly to the library, which was quickly becoming her new second home. It was early before school, and there were only a few shy souls around whose buses had dropped them off in the wee hours. She slid into the seat and logged into the computer, ready to waste away the minutes surfing the net, checking email that invariably only had impersonal spam, and trying to forget about the fact that she was alone.

Opening up Internet Explorer, she headed straight for her yahoo account and rolled her eyes at the 27 new messages and 324 bulk mail messages that she had in her mailbox. Still, having spam was better than the evil "0 messages" notice that sometimes popped up in her obsessive email checking. Clicking on the inbox, she prepared to wade through the messages offering her barnyard pleasures, discount ink jet toner, and free vitamins.

And blinked in shock when she saw an email from Spike. An email from Spike! She tried not to think too much about it, tried to convince herself that it was probably some virus pretending to be Spike. She opened it and waited, the computer taking its slow time in opening up the page. When it finally loaded, she held her breath and scrolled down to read the message.

buffy—
i know we haven't really talked in a while...it seems like every time one of us wants to talk, the other is busy. i've been thinking about you a lot, and i guess i figured this was the only way to guarantee that we got to talk. the thing is—i miss you. i don't know if you miss me, or if you even think about me, but i figured i'd take a chance. if you want to talk more, maybe try things out again, please meet me at the bronze tonight at 7:00. if i don't see you there, i'll understand.
yours,
spike
The first time Buffy read it, she skimmed to the bottom—she couldn't help herself—to see whether it was a good note or a bad note. When she saw that he signed off with "yours," she felt her heart do a little pirouette. The second time she read it, she held her breath the entire time, her eyes focusing on every word and every punctuation mark to make sure she fully understood what he was saying and asking and implying. The third time she read it, her face was flushed and her heart was beating quickly—the walls built around her spirit were slowly being lowered as she allowed herself the possibility of Spike's desire for her. The fourth, the fifth, the sixth...they all contributed to the silly grin on her face that she tried to suppress and the lightness in her step that made the rest of the day go by a little faster.

She had no idea what was going on in her classes, hadn't cared when teachers had called her on daydreaming during class, and for once didn't brood over the way her friendships had somehow deteriorated in the past weeks. She couldn't wait to get home, had already spent more energy on planning her outfit than seemed possible during a school day. When Buffy finally went home, she pretended to still be in the same dour mood—just to avoid questions from Dawn. She didn't want to share just yet—not till she had something significant to share. She showered slowly, making sure to use lots of body wash to smell nice, and pondered how she would react, how much she would share about her desires to get back together with him. She stared at herself in the mirror for long periods of time, wondering if he really did care for her, what she should wear to make sure he stayed interested without looking like a slut.

--

Xander was convinced he was going to die. He grabbed the paper bag and breathed in and out quickly, trying to find some sense of balance in his system.

Spike rolled his eyes and merely handed him some water. "Dude, you'll be fine. All you have to do is stand up there and sing with me."

Xander shook his head vigorously while gulping down some water. "No, you don't understand. I get stage fright. And I can barely hold a tune. And I—" He interrupted himself with another huge gulp of water. "I—" He took another deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself. "What if it's not enough? What if I do all this, sing and apologize and everything, and it doesn't get her back? If I've screwed this up, I just don't know what I'll do." His shoulders drooped at his pessimistic thoughts.

Spike came and sat next to him, putting his arm around him for comfort. "Well, I can't guarantee anything. Hell, I don't know if it'll be enough for me either. But at least we'll have tried. If they don't come back to us, it won't be because we were two pussies scared of trying. There's that, right?" Spike grinned a little, trying to reassure his friend and himself that their risk was worth it, would pay off in the end.

"Okay. You're right. It'll be okay." Taking another deep breath and another large gulp of water, he stood and then asked, "Just let me go to the bathroom and piss and puke and I'll be fine."

--

When she entered the Bronze, Buffy immediately scanned the room for Spike and saw him on stage, fiddling around with mikes and setting up amps. Brow furrowed, she wondered what was going on.

"Hey, Buffy," Oz said, approaching her.

Buffy still looked confused as she greeted the short bassist. "Hey."

Oz nodded in understanding. Gesturing, he led her towards the a table and said, "He asked me to escort you here. Have a seat, and enjoy the show." With a brief smile, he headed back towards the stage to help his bandmates out. Buffy bit her lip in anticipation and breathed in slowly, trying to calm herself for whatever Spike had planned.

She noticed that the Bronze was starting to fill up, and suddenly she saw Anya at a table nearby. "What's she doing here?" Buffy thought to herself, starting to feel uncomfortable. They still hadn't sorted things out; in fact, Anya had been almost hostile whenever they saw each other at school. She sulked a little at the thought of Anya being present at her reunion with Spike, since their main issue had been because of the boyfriends, or lack thereof. Her thoughts were distracted when she was presented with a Diet Coke and a single rose. She smiled to herself and decided not to let Anya's presence get in the way of her night.

The band finally finished setting up, and the lights dimmed in preparation for the evening's musical performance. Her heart flipped a couple times when Spike stepped into the lights, gave a quick smirk, and waved, saying, "It's Cover Night here at the Bronze this evening, so we thought we'd hit an oldie from that amazing rock era: the 80's." Spike smiled at the laughs and groans from the audience before catching the eye of his cute blonde seated at the table in front of him.

As the audience quieted, his face took on a more serious expression, and his voice deepened. "What I love about the 80s is the power ballad—sometimes those songs just express what we strong, manly men have difficulty saying." He paused for the smattering of laughter. "I figure, if those hard guitarists can break down and bare their souls, then so can we. Before we get into our first song, I want to introduce the members of the band."

Buffy zoned out a little through this part, allowing herself to watch the joy he got in being on stage—until she saw Xander on stage. What was Spike saying?

"A special treat tonight—we have a guest singer joining us for this night of nostalgia. Please give it up for Xander!"

She clapped lightly as her shy friend waved awkwardly at the crowd before shuffling backwards—and bumping into the bass amp. Buffy began to wonder about this setup, why Xander was there as well as Anya, but then Spike began to talk again.

"This first song has special meaning for me, as well as Xander. We, being guys, sometimes make mistakes. And sometimes we don't realize what we have until it's no longer there."

Buffy held her breath while listening to his words, completely transfixed by the intensity of his eyes. She blinked back tears as she thought about his words.

"The thing is—we're teenagers, and sometimes when we're frustrated, we do stupid things—say stupid things. And then, before we realize what we've done, we've hurt you, angered you, screwed things up. So we," Spike paused and looked back at Xander who was nodding earnestly in agreement, "We just wanted to say that we miss you—and that we're sorry."

"I'm sorry," Xander added into his mike, looking at Anya.

"I miss you," Spike said softly, looking at Buffy. Breathing in for a moment, he then continued to address the rest of the audience. "This song is an oldie—and it speaks of the way we feel about the girls in our lives." He nodded to the band, and the music began to play.

I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear

And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Buffy felt the tears gather in her eyes as the REO Speedwagon song swept over her in Spike's deep voice. She'd always been a sucker for those 80s songs, and this song especially made her heart ache in that pleasantly painful way. That he would sing this song to her—well, even without the song she would've come back, in all honesty—but that he would remember this song...it made her feel incredibly special.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

She let the tears of happiness run down her face. It seemed stupid, to be so affected by a song, but Buffy couldn't help it. She'd wanted Spike for so long, and she'd made such a dumb mistake in letting her own temper get the best of her. And yet there he was, apologizing to her in front of a whole crowd when really she should've been the one to apologize first. She slowly wiped away the wetness and tried to steady her breathing. Smiling up at Spike, she mouthed, "I'm sorry. I missed you, too."

Spike simply gazed at her, not letting his eye contact waver until the final chord was struck and the song came to an end. The crowd burst into applause, and Spike murmured a "Thank you" into the mike. Turning to the band, he communicated something about their next song and then faced the crowd with a grin. "Don't want you guys to think this is going to be a night filled with sappy love songs—though they're damn good love songs—so the next song is meant to be more upbeat. In fact, please join in. Sing along, and have some fun. Be neighborly!"

Buffy noticed that he shared a quick look with Xander, who seemed again nervous for some reason. Buffy frowned at that thought—wouldn't he have been more nervous about singing to Anya? She thought about it for a while, happy not only for herself but her friend as well. It looked like both couples might be getting back together, but what did that mean for her own friendships? Even though she really wanted to patch things up with Anya, she couldn't quite bring herself to go over and talk to her, though she was right at a nearby table. What would she say? How could she avoid the awkwardness? Sighing, she waited for the music to begin. And when a familiar riff began to fill the room, she sat up straight, her mouth open in amazement.

La vie Boheme

La vie Boheme

La vie Boheme

Spike, Xander, and Oz were belting out the song with silly grins on their faces, encouraging the audience to sing along with them. The song "La vie Boheme," from the musical Rent , brought back tons of memories to when she, Willow, and Anya had listened to the soundtrack over and over again, each playing different parts and singing along loudly—and usually off-key—as the lives of such randomly interesting people played out on stage. Spike knew this—hell, he'd often joined them even though he and the guys had always rolled their eyes. How could he--? Her heart was pinched with awkwardness, wondering how Anya was reacting to the song. Their parts were coming up, and part of her really wanted to start singing along, to pretend like nothing was wrong. But what if Anya didn't sing with her? What if she was rejected, and she no longer had friends to sing this song with? What if she gave her a dirty look? Or what if she completely ignored her? What if—

"Wine and beer!" Willow shouted out, coming from out of nowhere. Buffy looked at her sudden appearance in surprise and couldn't help but smile at the slightly embarrassed look that Willow always got whenever she shouted out that line.

"Mucho masturbation!" Anya shouted out soon thereafter, joining Willow in standing to sing with enthusiasm. Buffy's heart jumped up in hope and, feeling a little more confident, rose to join them in time to join in with her own line, "To the stage!" Willow immediately hung her arm around Buffy's shoulders and Anya's as well, a smile on her face as they continued to belt out the song, praising the La Vie Boheme, with Anya's final plea "To S & M!" pushing them into a fit of giggles the way it always did. They continued to bounce along as the music faded out. When it was replaced with canned music, and the three girls were left, arms around each other, they finally made eye contact.

"I'm so sorry—I didn't—"

"I missed you, and I wasn't—"

"Forgive me? I didn't—"

"I'm sorry, too, and—"

Their voices fell over each other, apologies and pleas for forgiveness and statements of love and friendship rushing out and quickly soothing the wounds that had been created over the past days. Willow was smiling giddily—having been a part of the plan from the beginning—and her eyes were happy but teary. Anya was completely bawling, begging to be forgiven for her weeks of whining and bitchiness when really all she had wanted was to be back with Xander—and now that that was on the horizon, everything was looking better. And Buffy, with her red nose and wet eyes, was simply hugging them all, glad that their little sisterhood was finally healing. In the midst of their estrogen-charged reunion, she glanced up to catch Spike's eye—he was watching them with a smile of satisfaction lightly playing about his lips. Winking at her, he made it clear that the whole thing had been orchestrated, and Buffy mouthed, "Thank you" over the heads of her friends. He merely smiled and bowed a little before turning back to his band. Buffy's heart was glowing pink with pleasure. Now all she had to do was wait for him to finish his set—and their reunion could begin.

Ch. 24: A Walk to Remember

Buffy leaned against the wall, waiting for the band to emerge from backstage. It seemed like forever, and even Anya had quieted down in anticipation of a reunion with her long-parted boyfriend. The club was still hopping, with the DJ cranking out hip hop to maintain the atmosphere's energy. Still, in Buffy's mind there was no sound except for the sound of her heart beating, nervously beating in uncertainty. Surely they would get back together—based on his performance, there could be no doubt about how he felt and what he wanted. But there was doubt nonetheless. She bit her lip and tried not to play with the cuticles on her nails; they were quickly deteriorating at the rate she kept picking at them. Breathing in deeply, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down.

"Hey, cutie."

Buffy's eyes flew open, and she almost jumped at the sound of such a silky voice near her ear.

Knowing he had surprised her, Spike grinned and leaned casually against the wall next to her. "Waiting for me?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, trying to act like she hadn't almost peed her pants just a second ago. "Actually, I'm waiting for Anya—we're supposed to have a girls night tonight."

Spike stood up straight, and his posture revealed his sudden discomfort and embarrassment. "Oh, sorry. I thought—well, maybe we can talk later?"

Buffy thought it was so cute the way he was doubting herself the same way she was—but she wasn't about to let their break-up go any longer than it needed to. She reached out and held his arm, stopping him from leaving. "Hey, I was just teasing. Of course I'm waiting for you," she said softly.

He slowly relaxed when he saw her sincerity, and he blushed a little at his own insecurities. "So, uh," he began nervously, his earlier confidence gone. "Can I walk you home?"

She nodded shyly, unsure of how to proceed in these make-up moments. Waving goodbye to Anya and Willow, she followed Spike out into the evening.

There was a full moon, and the jumpy nerves bouncing into the stars reminded her of their first walk together. She smiled a little at the memory, at the wonder she had experienced when he had first kissed her.

"Do you remember our first walk home together?" Spike murmured, slowly walking alongside her. "It was such a beautiful night, and you were so beautiful under the stars. You still are," he added shyly, nervously running his hands through his hair, not quite sure where to keep them.

Buffy blushed; it seemed that they were starting all over again, the butterflies fluttering with the newness of it all—and she loved it. This time, she slipped her hand into his, and they walked home together in comfortable silence.

She knew that she should say something, apologize for the way she'd acted and pushed him away, tell him how she'd missed him—something. But the power of silence and of her hand on his seemed to speak much more loudly and eloquently than she ever could. For now, for the time they walked hand in hand under the stars, she said nothing. And he said nothing. And yet they both knew.

Eventually they arrived at Buffy's house, and with her mom's car in the driveway and the lights on around the house, Buffy knew they'd have to say goodbye pretty soon. Leading him up to the door, she turned to him, still holding his hand.

Looking up at him, eyes wide with regret, Buffy murmured, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I let my temper get to me and push you away. I guess I just—" She bit her lip, trying to articulate her swirling thoughts. "I can't explain it, really. I guess sometimes I get a little crazy, thinking about what will happen in the future and all, and I let it get to me, and to you. I'm sorry."

Spike let her have her words, not wanting to break in until she was finished. When she stopped, he took her hand and held it to his heart. "No, I'm sorry. I let my temper get to me, and I let my anger dictate my thoughts. I can't tell you how sorry I was when I finally calmed down. I wanted so much to go back and change things."

"Me, too!" Buffy exclaimed, glad that they were both being so honest.

"But I do want to say this." He wanted to be completely frank with her, so he breathed in and dove blindly. "Honestly, I don't think about marriage—but not because I don't care about you enough. I'm a guy—I don't think about marriage. Hell, I barely think about my own future. But I do think about now—and right now I want to be with you. Do you think that's enough? For now?" He looked into her eyes, wanting so much to kiss her but wanting to get his words out first.

Buffy nodded, her eyes down. "I guess it's just a girly thing, always thinking about marriage and stuff. But it means a lot to me that you're telling me. And it's enough—for now." She smiled coyly, looking up at him through thick lashes. "So are you gonna kiss me now or what?"

Spike chuckled. "God, I missed you!" And with that he drew her close, pressing his lips against hers and feeling the thrill zing back and forth between them. He kept the kiss slow and tantalizing, caressing her tongue and rubbing her cheek with his thumb, savoring its smoothness. He slowly broke away and eased into a hug, loving the way she fit so perfectly into the crook of his neck.

Though the kiss was fabulous—much better than what she'd been imagining all these days—the hug had an intimacy that made her feel as if she were returning home. His familiar scent, the way she melted so naturally into his body—these were the little things that truly completed her joy.

"I'd better go in. Mom's probably waiting up," she said into his neck, finishing her sentence with a little kiss to that smooth slope of his jawline.

His body tightened; even the tiniest kiss made his whole body crackle with electricity. He intentionally separated them, not wanting her to feel his reaction. "Yeah, I guess so. So, you're my girl again?" he said lightly, smoothing back her hair with affection.

"Yeah. You're my guy again?" she replied, mussing up his hair a little.

"Yup." He kissed her lightly one last time, and then smiled broadly. "So I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"Okay. Goodnight." She started to open the door, but her eyes were still on him. "Sweet dreams," she whispered, her tone intimating much more.

He tried to look nonchalant, but his body was pushing him to press himself against her, kiss her silly, make up for all that lost time. Instead he waved a little awkwardly and shoved his hands into his pockets. When she finally disappeared into the house, he took a deep breath, adjusted himself a little, and slowly turned to walk home.

Once inside, Buffy leaned back against the door, a silly grin on her face.

"Well, Dawn? I think you owe me ten dollars." Joyce smiled at the way her eldest daughter was grinning happily, and she remembered what it felt like to be so in love.

"Mom!!! How was I supposed to know she wasn't going to be stupid the way she normally is!" Dawn whined as she stomped up the stairs.

Buffy, oblivious to their gambling on her happiness, merely sighed contentedly, eyes staring out into her own fantasies.

--

The next morning, the gang was all together again, laughing and chatting in the cafeteria—but there was something new, a feeling of precious awareness and an acknowledgement that what they had could be lost—and so they clung to it more tightly. It was a lesson that everyone learned willingly, though slowly.

Later that day, Spike was checking his email, and he noticed that Buffy had replied to his request, after they'd seen each other. Head tilted with interest, he clicked on the message.

spike...

i know that i didn't really tell you how much your song, well, songs, meant to me last night. i was too overwhelmed with just seeing you again, and i forgot to thank you for everything.

for the way you sang to me, apologized in front of so many people when i should've done the same to you...it made me want to cry—and it made me appreciate what a wonderful, loving person you are. you don't have to crawl to get to me—i could never fight the feeling when it came to you, and i hope you won't either.

and for the second song, for making it possible for me to work things out with willow and anya again—i can't begin to describe what that means to me. it was enough to be able to work things with you, but that you would think not only of us but all of us...you are truly the best. i am so incredibly lucky to have you. i will never let my temper get in the way of us again. i promise. and i also promise to avoid being irrational—yes, i admit it—when it comes to girly things. you mean too much to me, and i hope that i am worth all that you were willing to give last night.

your girl,
buffy

Trying to hide the blush that was steadily creeping up his face, Spike read the message through again and then closed the window. And then he went to go find his girl.

Ch. 25: How It Happened

There was something to be said about stability, a consistency in lifestyle. She and Spike had been dating steadily for several months now, and at this point Buffy wasn't overwhelmed by excitement, wasn't crying over the drama in her life or bubbling over with giddiness—but damn, she was happy. She spent almost every day with her hot boyfriend, studying, flirting, watching him rehearse, enjoying his nearness. And boy could he kiss.

And though they hadn't gone much farther than kiss—either on the lips or on, well, other parts of their bodies—with Prom coming up, Buffy had nervous expectations about where their relationship was going to head next. It wasn't as if they'd sat down and had a conversation about it or anything—that would've been awkward. No, somehow they'd both silently agreed that Prom would be the night. The Night.

Lying on her bed, listening to music and completely daydreaming, she wondered if he did the same, if Spike actually daydreamed about The Night and how it would all happen. Buffy had a dress, a beautiful dress of soft, swishy material that draped her body in a sexy way. The skinny spaghetti straps showed off her neck and shoulders, and the slightly hidden slit up the side showed off her toned thighs—but only to those she wanted to impress. And she couldn't wait to see Spike in a tux.

Prom was just something she couldn't stop thinking of. And it wasn't just her—the whole school was abuzz with excitement. They'd even had the "Be safe with sex" assembly during school today, where the school had passed out condoms without shame and had lectured them on the necessity of practicing safe sex. It embarrassed her, having a condom in her purse where she was sure her mother would find it somehow, but it also gave her tingles of excitement at the prospect of finally experiencing such intimacy with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend, who was supposed to have come over ten minutes ago with food. Her mom was at work, preparing for a gallery exhibit, and being left at home for endless hours on a Saturday was clearly an excuse for quality make out time in the comfort of her own home—and food was a nice bonus as well. But her stomach was beginning to growl, and Spike still had not come bearing greasy goodness. Pulling herself up off the bed, she looked at herself in the mirror, wondering if she should reapply her lip gloss, change into a different outfit, put her hair up or leave it down.

"If I'm not ready by the time he comes, I'll just blame him. Idle mind and all that," she thought to herself. Pulling off her skirt, she rummaged through her closet for a pair of jeans, one that might show off her cute ass. And then, of course, the top didn't match, so she pulled off her sweater and pulled out a feminine frilly v-neck top, one that showed off her neck and nicely clung to her small waist. Twirling once in front of the mirror, she smiled in contentment.

And then she pulled out her lotion, slathering it all over and making sure no rough spot went rough. She liked the way the lotion had just a hint of sparkle on it—made her feel so girly. And then her hair. She brushed it thoroughly, wanting it to shine and bounce the way she knew he'd like it. And then she started on her face. She plucked any stray eyebrow hairs and smoothed on lotion, added just a hint of eyeliner, carefully applied some gloss, and then finished things up with mascara.

And then she started on the nail polish.

--

Spike knew he was screwed. He was supposed to have been at Buffy's house almost an hour ago, but there had been a huge accident at the one main and necessary intersection of Sunnydale. Stupid rubberneckers had caused quite a backup. And then the line at the carryout place had been utterly consistent with the kind of morning he'd had. In short, he was feeling rather disgruntled, impatient, and not a little worried about how Buffy was going to yell—because she was quite the yeller when it came to food. And he'd debated over the merits of arriving later just to pick up some ice cream or cut his losses and drive as fast as possible without the possible bonus of arriving with her favorite flavor of the month. He went with the ice cream and hoped she'd think of lateness in clumps of time rather than specific minutes.

Breathing in deeply, he turned into her driveway and hoped she was in a good mood. And then he groaned at himself, saying, "God, you are such a whipped wanker." He shook his head and then, with precariously balanced pizza and ice cream, walked up to the door. When he knocked and got no answer, he began to worry a little. The door was unlocked, and so he slowly let himself in, wondering what was going on.

Inside, he heard music blaring from Buffy's room—either she was really pissed at him and was intentionally making it impossible for her to hear his knock, or she was in a really good bouncy mood, and she was too busy dancing to answer the door. What were the chances? Putting the ice cream in the fridge and the food on the table, he walked upstairs.

In her room, Buffy was dancing away, letting the music slide all around her freshly painted, blow-dried, and brushed body. Eyes closed, she sauntered around the room and undulated with the beat, enjoying the way her sexiness was leading the dance. She threw her arms into the air and started swaying her hips seductively when she noticed Spike was leaning on the door, an amused look on his face.

"Hey, there, cutie. I'm sorry I'm late; there was—"

"Shhh," she whispered, sauntering towards him. "Just dance with me." Dancing in her room always gave her confidence that she often lost outside the comfortable zone within her bedroom walls, and this time she was going to take advantage of it. Hands on hips, sometimes sliding towards his ass, she looked up at him coyly.

The moment he'd seen her dancing, Spike had become aroused. Her body moved so lithely, and he could barely keep himself from gaping, from staring mindlessly at his sexy girlfriend. Shaking himself out of his daze, he asked, "Do you remember the first time I caught you dancing up here?"

Buffy blushed at the memory that seemed so long ago. "I was so embarrassed that I just yelled at you. Craziness," she said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I reacted the same way, but I was so turned on by the way you were dancing that I created a different ending to our little meeting," he confessed, running his hands up and down her sides.

"Me, too!" Buffy responded, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed."

"Oh, really?" Spike said with the cock of an eyebrow.

"No, you first," she said, her embarrassment clear on the redness creeping into her skin.

"No, no, I insist. Tell me what naughty thoughts you had about me that night," he teased, pressing her closer to him. "Go ahead. I'll tell if you tell," he whispered before smiling reassuringly at her.

Eyes lowered, she turned to press her back against his front and began to sway more distinctly, knees dipping and hips rocking against his. "Well, you sneak up behind me," Buffy began, her voice slightly hesitant. She took advantage of the new position and simply reveled in the way his body so easily fit against hers—and she felt less embarrassed sharing when he wasn't looking straight at her. Slowly, she began to remember her fantasy.

"We dance together for a little, and then you begin kissing my neck," Buffy breathed, her arm snaking up to feel the softness of his hair. She gasped a little at the feel of his lips on the sensitive skin of her nape, and her heart raced away.

"Like this?" Spike murmured as he nibbled at her neck, moving across her skin and then nibbling at that spot behind her ear.

"Yes, exactly," Buffy purred, her body rubbing against his in delight. "And then—"

"And then do I run my hands up your body? Like this?" he said, his hands sliding skimming the undersides of her breasts, teasing her with feather-like caresses until he finally filled his palms with her breasts and lessened the ache of her nipples with his touch.

"Oh, yeah, that's exactly—" she inhaled sharply as he squeezed lightly, knowing just how she liked to be touched. Overwhelmed by the sensations, she turned in his arms and kissed him fully, needing to feel his lips and his tongue with her own.

Spike held her close, relishing the way she tasted and the boldness of her kisses. He continued his caresses up her back and over her ass and up the sides of her breasts, sneaking under her cami and feeling the warmth of her skin.

Buffy broke away and pulled off his t-shirt, enjoying the way he breathed in sharply at the feel of her tongue flicking out at his chest and sliding all over his stomach. Eventually, Buffy slowed down and breathed in deeply, nestling her head in the crook of his neck before whispering, "And then you touch me."

Her words flamed his arousal, and he had to control himself, had to restrain from throwing her onto the bed with desire. He had to play her game, and her fantasy was clearly about slow and sensual satisfaction. He slid his fingers around her top button and then slowly unzipped her jeans. He relished her quick and unsteady breathing and hoped he was living up to the fantasy.

Buffy's eyes were closed, her whole body focusing on the slow descent of his fingers. Closer and closer, she waited for that beautiful moment when he touched her in that special way. She gasped loudly when his fingers finally pressed against her intimately, sending buzzes of pleasure all throughout her body. She clung to him, trying to kiss his skin but being further thrown into ecstasy with every movement. She simply held on while he drove forward towards that moment of bliss.

Spike watched as her lips parted with quick breaths, her breasts heaved with anticipation, her body tightened with sensations. His fingers were moist with pleasure, and he could feel Buffy's body become taut in preparation. He kept his movements slow, wanting to draw out the most satisfying orgasm, and he waited as she held onto his body. Slowly increasing pressure, Spike circled her bud and waited for the explosion.

"Oh god, Spike," Buffy cried out, her voice husky and her body quivering with rapture as his fingers drew out that delicious spurt of pleasure. "Oh, god, Spike," she repeated, her face nuzzling his chest as her body slowly came down from its high. "Mmmm," she murmured in between kisses. "That was perfect. Just like my fantasy."

He kissed her as he felt her clit vibrate a few final times. He smiled at the lingering tremors and slowly slid his fingers out of her jeans before buttoning her up again. "You are so hot. I love making you come," Spike said, kissing her thoroughly.

"And now it's time for your fantasy," Buffy declared as she peppered his body with kisses.

"Um, I don't know about that. My fantasy was, well..." he trailed off.

Buffy looked up at him in earnest, her hands cupping his lovely face. "Let's do it."

Spike froze, his mouth slightly open in shock. "What?"

"You heard me," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck with tenderness. "Let's do it. I know you want to," she purred, pressing herself against his protruding erection, and then added, "And I want to. Why wait till Prom?"

And there it was—the unspoken but silently acknowledged plan for their mutual deflowering.

Spike stared down at the trust mingling with desire in the hazel eyes gazing up at him. "Buffy," he whispered, softly running his fingers through her hair. He kissed her warmly, still in awe of her suggestion.

Smiling through their kiss, Buffy lightly ran her nails up his chest. "Hey, we even have condoms. Good old school education with the free condoms. So..." she said coyly, leading him towards her bed. "What exactly was this fantasy of yours. I was honest, so you have to be honest, too."

Spike's face flushed with embarrassment and arousal. "You don't have to act it out. This, you, all—more than enough to fulfill my fantasies."

"That's sweet, but you can't get out of sharing your dirty thoughts. So spill," Buffy teased. She loved how comfortable she felt, even with the huge decision she'd just made—and her comfort, well, comforted her in knowing that she wasn't making a mistake.

"Well, to be honest, I start here on the bed, and you start there, dancing for me." He scooted back on her bed, head slightly propped and legs sprawled. He could barely move, with his hardened desire and nervousness nearly crippling him. He hid his fears by casually settling his shaky hands behind his head on the headboard.

"I'm dancing for you?" she asked with suspicion. "Just dancing?"

"So it's more of a strip tease, I guess. And if this is really my fantasy, you'll be wearing a black lacy thong," he added with a smirk, allowing himself to calm down when he realized Buffy was relaxed and comfortable with their direction.

"Is that right? Well, we'll just have to see, won't we?" she said as she began swaying again, hair tossed back in sultry temptation. Reaching for her jeans, she slowly began to unbutton them just for his eyes; Buffy loved the way his gaze never left her, and twirled for him, shaking her ass for his pleasure. And then, as he was watching her cute ass dance, she slowly bent over and slid down her pants—revealing a black lacy thong. And then she smiled when she heard his sharp intake. Peeking over her shoulder, she winked at him before kicking of her jeans completely.

"You are so beautiful, pet," he breathed, still staring at her panties.

"What's next in the fantasy?" Buffy asked as she headed towards the bed, throwing off her cami in slow motion as she neared him.

"You come to me, feeling your own body as you sit on top of me," he said, his voice husky with lust.

Buffy crawled onto the bed, her hair tumbling over her face in a sexy cascade. She slithered in between his legs and climbed up his chest before setting her thighs around his, pressing gently against his erection. "Like this?" she asked as she ran her hands over her breasts.

"Just like that," Spike responded before pressing his lips to her skin. He grinned as he heard her gasp, loved the way she mewled as he sucked her nipples through the thin fabric of her bra and caressed her body.

Buffy arched her back and felt her hair tickle his legs. She moaned in delight as he lavished attention onto her breasts, suckling them just the way she liked it before tossing off her bra.. Not wanting to take all and not give, she began unbuttoning his jeans and slowly pulling them down, taking his underwear at the same time. When he finally kicked them out of the way, Buffy took advantage of her upper position and took a long lick of his cock.

Spike blew out a long breath, tightly reining in his desires. He reached for her, tangling her in a long, hard kiss before returning to her breasts and feeling them tighten even further in his mouth. He played with her nipples while his fingers returned to her sex, wanting to feel the hot warmth inside of her.

Buffy was on fire—every part of her screamed for completion—for that final act of intimacy that they'd delayed until now. Until now. "Now," she breathed, her legs rubbing against his. She pulled off her thong and allowed Spike to complete their removal. "Please, now," she begged, pressing her breasts against his chest.

Spike pushed the hair out of her face and kissed her once again. Positioning himself, he whispered, "I love you, Buffy." And then he thrust into her.

Buffy gasped at the unfamiliar feeling and tightened her muscles in response. She heard Spike moan, and she continued her contractions, enjoying the way she held him inside of her.

"Oh, god, Buffy," Spike cried out as his hands found her hips and began rocking into her.

The first moments were over, and Buffy could no longer think coherently—she only felt the innumerable sensations skimming her body and heating her from the inside. She toppled onto Spike and anchored her legs onto his, feeling her slightly sweaty body slide up and down against his lean muscles.

They groaned in unison at the new movement and the way their skin felt electrified by their contact. Their tongues completed the union, and their breathing became ragged and hoarse with gasps and moans and mewls.

Spike couldn't hold back any longer and thrust harder, faster into her welcoming body. Buffy could feel the change, the increased frenzy of his movements, and she gloried in the idea that she herself caused such desire. She let herself bend to his every craving and knew she was close, knew he was closer.

The friction, the heat, the longing, the love all swirled upward and thickened with every thrust—and finally they exploded in each other's tight arms.

And when the condom was properly disposed, and the sex-induced torpor was put off long enough to get into a more comfortable position, the two drifted into sleep, murmuring their love for one another before completely succumbing to pheromonal slumber.